#but i am going to work hard for it
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If you've ever told a person who's had to be bedbound for a period of time that you wish you could "just stay in bed", DO IT.
Stay in bed. For days. But don't get up if someone needs you to, or you get bored, or you get antsy. Don't do anything other than rest. Just lie in your bed, whether you need to get stuff done around the house or socialize or anything else "productive". You'll have to cancel on people, you'll disappoint them, they won't understand.
And if you're thinking, "well, i CAN'T just be in bed. There's stuff that has to be done - I have plans", maybe ask yourself why you assumed a disabled person doesn't have plans or things to do or desires.
#Disability#Bedbound#Housebound#Actually disabled#Chronic illness#Long covid#Chronic fatigue#Inspired by my boss asking what I did over the weekend and I said I couldn't get out of bed and he said that sounds nice actually#I'm literally only able to work bc I am in bed at all times I'm not at work and it's still so hard and painful#I can't get my own groceries or cook my own meals or socialize or eat at restaurants or go to movies or take care of my own pets#If I didn't have a loving generous caring spouse I'd be dead by now
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i hope everyone in nintendo’s management department dies and goes to hell no matter what and i’m not kidding
#WERE LOSING YUZU AND CITRA. I DONT KNOW IF YOU ALL UNDERSTAND HOW INSANE THIS IS#game emulation enables piracy yes but it’s also an INCREDIBLY powerful archival tool.#there are plenty of games out there that only exist in their original formats due to emulation.#this lawsuit has HORRIBLE implications for video game history. it makes it incredibly easy for companies to scorched earth their products#if they’re not profitable enough. ART IS GOING TO BE LOST BECAUSE OF THIS. GAMES PEOPLE WORKED INCREDIBLY HARD ON#it won’t just happen to bad games. it won’t just happen to old games. they will use this to keep their remake/virtual console model going#forever and you will never be able to play your favorite games in their true original forms ever again.#i am fucking INSANELY mad rn. capitalism is the death of art fr#personal
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figure skating set right now please. thanks
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#GUYS I AM PUTTING OFF WORKING ON MY COSPLAY SOMETHING STUPID. im tireddddd i like sleeepingggff i want to play and drawwwww#after work I literally ate a giant bowl of mac n cheese and climbed into bed. lifestyle choices of a 9 year old#anyways i want figure skaitng set. bad. PJSK HAS A WEIRDLY LOW NUMBER OF ACTUALLY WINTERY SETS... like 3. kind of.#i have some thumbnail sketches but im kind of stumped on composition for them. my idea was a nene focus set#(IF HER NEXT FOCUS ISNT PHANTOM OF THE OPERA THEMED INWILL DIE. BADLY. THEYRE GOING TO AN OPER AHOUSE. PLEADBR)#originally my idea was for nene to be biting a medal i was very sold on it bc i love nenes competitive side#however her outfit is so nice i want it to also be part of the art .. its heavily inspired by that one iconic eunsoo lim dress#from her somewhere in time program iirc. im really undatisfied with emus dress tbh my origimal idea was to give it a phoenix look#but a lot of the firebird/phoenix skating programs have very sleek dresses and i want emus to be fluffy. the balance is hard ..#and since i want her program song to be once upon a dream from sleeping beauty i swerved to make it look a bit like auroras ? but again#it definitely feels like the weakest of everybodys ... maybe i just love her too much and want her to look the best. sorry wxs.#tsukasas outfit is supposed to look like a shooting star. easy. program music moonlight sonata 3rd movement like from dazzling light. easy.#actually i like takahashi daisukes moonlight sonata program its a medley of the 1st and 3rd movement.. i think the calm at the beginning#is best. maybe smth like that.. for his card inhad him doing a haircutter spin but again. the outfits good i want the outfit visible. damn.#ruis the one im very set on even now. girl why are you so phantom of the opera.#it has a lot of beautiful programs to reference but the outfit i didnt really have any solid reference i kind of just balled#my main idea was to make it look a bit like both christine and the phantom.... gender Fluid.#my yapfest... i should be SEWING!!!!!!!!#despite my yapping im not that well versed in figure skating i cant really distinguish jumps i just like it . and medalist#i only do normal skating. bc i played hockey for like 7 years LOLLLL inlove skating though Heart.
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The Puerto Rican flag showing up when Rio snaps at Miles for getting a B in Spanish is such a fun little example of the incredible attention to detail in this movie
#across the spiderverse#atsv#miles morales#rio morales#my post#i am going to be absolutely FERAL when this movie comes out#spiderverse#I relate to miles a lot here. like i can read/write/speak etc in spanish but i don't do any work which is why i have a D in class rn#also some of those old castillian texts are hard as fuck my god-
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curious about what's in store for you for 2024? :D
Let AO3 decide!
(Updated from 2023: Up-to-date tag bank, opt-in tag categories, optional dark mode! As always: proceed with informed consent.)
#new post#clearing out my original tags since they're not 100% accurate but as always this has been a labor of love and also (new!) collaboration#do you know how hard it is to go thru 13k tags and categorize them? so thank you to my dear friend for proofing these#this update has been in the works since june or july (though i worked on it very intermittently)#and i am SO happy to be done with it for the time being#because i very much have other responsibilities LMAO
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Five foot something and he's royalty.
#poorly drawn odyssey#the odyssey#odysseus#I was drawing him short because it was funny. I didn't expect it to come up in the text himself.#Remember that at this point he's retelling the story to the court of Alcinous.#So him saying 'Yeah I got to ride on the best and coolest ram so I only needed one of them' sounds like he's justifying being small.#I know there are likely other interpretations of this so it's not 'canonical' per say#but I didn't think my goofy short lump of misery parody version of ody was going to be...well...closer that expected.#By they way if you are a lover of sopping wet men - read the Odysssey.#So far he has solved 90% of his problems by wailing and sobbing so pathetically until people give up and help him out.#(sadly I am out of chronological order with the comics I wanted to post...next one WILL be the nausicaa comic I promise.#I've been very sick and swamped with work so comics are hard to do...I'm keeping my chin up though! I'll be slow but I'll do it!)
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the accolade ( the...the cat-olade...)
#mine#original#i cannot even begin to explain the anguish. the torment. this drawing has brought me#and i STILL dont like it. i simply cant work on it any longer i cant i cant. i must be rid of it#eating drywall as we speak#you want to know how many weeks ive worked on this. THREE. ALMOST.#you want to know how long my other cat drawings take me ?? 3 days absolute MAX#anyway. begon foul creature etc#i havent left extremely long tags for a long while hello everyone good lord there are many of you#we are going stratford this weekend very exciting#its going to be a little chilly and i want to take my new coat with me but issue its not chilly right now so i cant wear it onto the train#i do not think. i can. stuff it into my suitcase i dont think that will happen#i am sure i will figure it out#also. no longer vegan . eggs have won me over. egg egg egg.#im having to restrain myself SO hard from buying more wool i want a shawl i want a shawl#i want more cute DRESSES why are nice comfy dresses 10000£#i look on vinted and its like dresses for popping your pussy in like not. the vibe im going for thank u#anyway. im going to eat crackers now
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I have been sketching. So much tma. Here's some expansions on my Jon and Martin designs I've been doing.
Another note I forgor to mention is I love how after hearing Simon go "it's enough to make your hair turn white" about Martin's office in s4 many of us collectively agreed his hair turned white because of his association with the Lonely. The shared consciousness is real and we use it to play hot potato with the communal brain cell dedicated to the sillies.
Closeup of apocalypse boyfriends (also to the person who said they love my s5 Jon's fancy white girl updo: I think about that every day)
#s5 Jon in his white girl era#whatever the fuck that means#I'm still not done w the archives cuz busy n stuff but Jon needs to let Martin know wtf goin on#God may work in mysterious ways but you do not have to. Communicate with your man please#my art#the magnus archives#tma fanart#tma#tma season 5#tma spoilers#jonathan sims#tma podcast#martin blackwood#tma jmart#jmart#jmart fanart#jonmartin#there's so much going on in these and I am not sorry welcome to my chaotic mind#hope y'all read the tags cuz I need to announce before I fully make my Jon character sheet that his favorite band is linkin park#it's so funny and just right#tbf linkin park goes hard I'm tired of pretending it doesnt#but come on he totally was totally an edgey prick when he was younger#and older. he hasnt changed huh#anygays he totally loves linkin park and type o negative and three days grace and green day and evanescence#georgie was a paramore girlie I just know it#wish gerry were here he and jon would jam to type o negative so much :( and jon could introduce him to this cold night :(((#ok enough byeeeee
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Weird dream.
#art#tmnt#tmnt original iteration#tmnt au#tmnt au leo#leo#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmta#artists on tumblr#Hi I came up with an AU idea like. Last November#*Oops October actually#And I'm only just posting about it on main. I'm so good at this#Tbf I'm quite happy to just work on it slowly I've got a lot of plot points to iron out anyway#Also I'm primarily doing this for myself#So sorry if the stuff I post doesn't have much substance to it. This mostly only exists inside my brain#Only thing I will share is that I've been referring to the setting as Teenage Mutant Transgender Allegories in my head lmao#They're not explicitly trans. But they may as well be because I am projecting Hard onto this#The turtles are also. Kind of dicks to begin with. Less so Donnie but he has other problems to deal with#The whole thing is about growth and learning to change. So yea#And obviously family too. This is TMNT after all.#ANYWAY. I WILL STOP RAMBLING IN THE TAGS NOW.#Gonna go through my drafts and post the other stuff I made before this one so it's at least in the right order even if I am posting it late
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here's a philosophical conundrum for you, siffrin.
if you don't have a home to go back to, what kind of person does that make you?
if you don't have memories of your own childhood, can you still consider yourself human?
if you have forgotten something as important as your country, your childhood, your family, your own name, then are you even a person?
if something is forgotten by everyone, then has that thing ever existed?
(effect works best when zoomed in!)
teehee :3
sorry odile’s part of the mdp fight has been pinging around in my brain for like. months now. i’ve had the idea for this drawing for a while. this is also partially based on isa’s act 4 friendquest (without doing bad touch) where siffrin mentions that they didn’t really have an identity before they met the party!! i wanted to play around with transparency :3333
also, for once, i’m actually putting the colored version down here! idk! i felt like the greyscale version kinda conveys the Mood a little better?? i like both tho!!
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#<- only because of the caption. i had to make that the caption sowwys#ahhhh this is the first time i’ve had their palettes like. close together? im glad they actually work well together lol#originally this was going to be a crowd shot instead of the party#but respectfully: i am not doing that!#this was also like. weirdly hard to draw??????#i think i spent like. over 5 hours on this. despite the canvas size being so small#and the characters being like. pretty simplified?#but i pushed through!! i think it looks pretty cool teehee
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Emergency Commissions
One of my checks was a couple of days late last week, and the more lucrative of my 2 proper jobs has given me only one day of work this week (seems to be system issue?? I'm waiting for a reply from my higher up, there seems to be a queue of sorts) I have no idea when I'm going to get my check this week, either. Although it's supposed to come in on Tuesdays, I have heard from coworkers it is likely to be delayed again. On top of all of this, I have had wifi issues for a week, and I work from home.
I was already going to have to do some commissions to make rent this month before the reduced work hours and wifi issues. I have to pay rent on Saturday, and I do not get a grace period. I cannot emphasize how screwed me, and both of my disabled roommates are if my check doesn't come in on time, which is apparently not likely to happen.
I am setting this goal for $600 which is how much I am going to need for rent if my check does not go through in time. I will update this post accordingly, and turn off rbs if I get my check before rent is due, but tbh if i thought that was happening I wouldn't be making this post.
Anyone who help with this can contact me at my art blog @theartistrans for art like you see above. There may be a bit of a wait because I have 2 jobs and this, but I will mail you the piece if you pay the shipping also.
Dm me for proof or more details. More details are also in my tags.
$C V PP Kofi
#for those wondering i am the main provider for a 3 person household bc im the least disabled of the 3 of us#with one of us going thru the courts for diability for over a year now literally unable to work#and the other still working on recovering enough mental functionality to hold down a job after years of severe life-threatening health shit#we are growing our own food to reduce costs and are harvesting cucumber rn and tomatoes squash eggplant okra and peppers soon#we are working so hard to get by
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this guy again.. cute hair an makeup.. this is like present day but just without beard + longer hair..
(he/him)
fun gradients under the cut
#the cute hair and makeup combo is really great w him still being so hairy ithink#im still working on commissions okayy theywill take alittle longer than my usual batches because like#the uncomfortable tensions here make it hard to draw anything 😭#and i want to draw the commissions WELL so ihave to warmup#bleghghh#drawing#digital art#art#oc#illustration#my art#supernormal#original character#supervillain oc#trans oc#murph an joanies supernormal#posting at 2 am idodnt caaare iwill just reblog it annoyinf amount of times#im going thru some distress i can post at bad hours#clip studio paint
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Julian Bashir walks a very fine, maddening line between “self-loathing imposter syndrome who knows almost everyone who speaks to him for more than a minute finds him insufferable” and “incredibly self assured and annoyingly arrogant to the point of a minor god complex”.
He knows he’s attractive, he thinks he’s charming as all hell, he knows he’s the smartest person in the room (while also being acutely aware he’s going to put his foot in his mouth any second now), and he just swings wildly between “I don’t deserve anything I have, none of this is mine, my life is not my own, I am a monster” and “HELL YEAH LOOK HOW COOL AND SMART I AM GUYS ARE YOU LOOKING ARE YOU LOOKING”.
And then there’s episodes that reveal that underneath that annoying arrogance, at the very core of who he is, he really, really just wants to help people, and if he fucks that up he WILL take it personally and hold himself responsible even if there’s no way he could have known and like. Can you imagine what his first patient death was like for him. Can you imagine what a fucking nightmare his brain must be 24/7.
He is somehow as inherently self assured as he is in need of constant validation for his ego because you can SEE him break a little when that ego fails him, even a little, and it’s just.
He’s very fun to write. I hate him. (I love him so much, but oh my god.)
#stella talks#star trek#star trek ds9#julian Bashir#.he knows how attractive he is. literally cannot conceive that Jadzia might NOT want to fuck him.#.he knows how smart he is and is an absolute idiot about it.#.and like it’s so hard to work out is he super self assured because he knows he’s engineered and even though he hates it he still KNOWS.#.like he KNOWS he is objectively going to be smarter and more athletic and etc bc he was MADE to be that way.#.which then plays into how he has that fun dichotomy of self loathing tied up in his arrogance.#.manages to see himself as both gods gift to the world and a pathetic monster at the same time.#.anyway this is why in my fic I am giving him the fun combination of sex repulsed and hypersexual due to trauma.#.because Bashir is a man of completely polar opposites conflicting personality traits and I want to be faithful.
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I want to read books I want to write more I want to play the piano I want to sing in key I want to delve into fashion history I want to travel I want to publish research papers and I want to become a surgeon and I’m supposed to do all that in this one wild and beautiful life
#Ummm#This is why taking time off before I go to med school is the right call for me there’s sm I want to do constantly but the time!!#This lowkey sucks tho bc ever since I was little I’ve had dreams of writing something profound and being published#Both in a scientific context and also just like in a writing anything profound concept#But ik writing is very high bar and Id have to dedicate time to it and be super serious if I wanna self teach and honestly#Every day Im more and more tempted to just get a lit masters but where is the time if I want to become a doctor!!#Maybe it’ll just be a far fetched dream that I work on on the side bc physicians who’re also authors exist#I j want to contribute something meaningful to this world but to do that ik I have to consume great art first and dissect it and learn from#It#And just like not listen to ppl’s opinions and do what I want but it’s hard when I’m on a timeline#It’s bc I understand none of these vocations are anything to sneeze at and I wanna take them seriously instead of being mediocre at them#Like I truly wanna LEARN but the time management skills are gonna have to go way up#Does anyone understand me or am I having an unnecessary meltdown
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You know what? You know what I think?
I think that if we lived as we were meant to, in larger intimate ("extended family") groups and with more shared labor and time to do it (UBI NOW) people like me would not feel so useless and burdensome because there would be people around to help and to do what neurodivergent people can't while making valuable space for the neurodivergent to do what they ARE good at.
The way we live right now, all right, the way we live right now forces units of two adults to be able to do EVERYTHING or PAY to have someone come do it for them. I have to do the housework. I have to do it! But I am having to do a million different things and most of them I am not good at. I suck at them.
I wouldn't feel like shit, okay, if I had more than one other person around who was not a child and who could do the things I can't, like do the yard and cook and do repairs and basic maintenance; and someone else to split everything else that I like but is too much for me. It would free me to do what I am good at and enjoy. Cleaning, as in the sink and toilet, the windows, the blinds. Taking out trash. Folding, hanging, and sorting laundry.
But because all the shit I can do often relies on other shit being done first, and I can't do or have trouble doing those things, the shit I can do often can't be done. And even the shit I can do, I can't do ALL of it. So I can't keep up, and things get very bad.
We aren't meant to live like this. We are not meant to live like this.
That thought hurts so much because being able to flee the birth family is integral to survival for so many people. I'm so afraid that living in larger family groups would create more opportunities for, say, queer kids to be isolated, rejected, bullied, and abused. But if we gave people enough money to survive, and stopped considering children the property of their parents with no system in place to help them escape bad situations except a system that is often just as bad, just different.
I'm aware that communes and collectives aren't all that successful and are kind of a joke. I don't mean that. I mean a fundamental shift to multigenerational families where taking in "strays" (which my family did) is also normalized so people escaping abuse into existing households was accepted, with these families centered in maybe a couple of different larger residences so not everyone has to buy and maintain their own fucking washing machine and vacuum cleaner, and so people can benefit from large group meals that yield leftovers, and so child and elder care can also be centralized.
Then disabled people and the neurodivergent and sick and injured people, and pregnant people, and grieving people, would not have to either labor through all those stressors or consign themselves to living off an unlivable pittance or being put under legal guardianship.
I'm not saying anything new. People live like this in other parts of the world and maybe it sucks and I am wrong. But I'm just really mad right now because I can either do laundry or clean the sink but not both, and I really think we could improve society somewhat by making it so I did not have to choose one without sacrificing the other.
#im feverish feeling (not a real fever just malaise that i have no other way to describe) from the IBS (which can affect you like that#)#and i don't actually want to do ANYTHING#i would have to even living with others but it would be easier#at the very least i wouldn't have had to clean the microwave earlier which is hard because my arms are like the size of a meerkat's#and i can only reach the back with my fingertips#where is my BF in all this?#WORKING FULL TIME WITH BACK PAIN#yes i AM going to want him to have to do as little as possible when he comes home#he's neurodivergent too and struggles with the same shit#it's all a mess#we are doing way better i didn't realize how deep a drain three very sick cats were#but there's still only two of us#if you are disabled physically OR MENTALLY you should at least get in-home household help once a week or so#there's places that do that but the limitations are usually severe and always rule me out#because im not single im not an elder im not a veteran and im not physically disabled#if we have to ration that sort of thing i can see how on the whole it is more caring to allocate those resources to for example elders#but the fact that i celebrate what help there is doesn't mean i don't get mad that more people can't access it#is2g if i was functional enough snd physically sound enough i would start a charity that did intervention cleaning for people like us#who have fallen behind and can't catch up but can MAINTAIN#and who helped people clean for a few months during and after an illness pregnancy trauma major loss etc. so they could stay on their feet
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i cannot physically remove them from my head
this is a joke of course, but i think sometimes that maybe once in a time phoenix says smth self-deprecating without even noticing it and edgeworth loses his patience INSTANTLY and starts to being like "OH I AM GOING TO POUR SO MUCH AFFECTION ON YOU". phoenix doesn't even understand where is this coming from but hey who is he to complain
"A GREAT PERSON" yea guess who said that
#i have so much to do and i keep like. HAHA GAY LAWYERS GO BRRRR#ace attorney#ace attorney fanart#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#wrightworth#narumitsu#i honestly have other ideas to work on not just narumitsu but ugghhhh i am so hard into them rn pleaseeeee#they invented love
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