#but i am a little burned out now so!!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

praesparo · 2 months ago

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okay, i've written a little AND put a couple treats in the queue... i'm gonna go chill for the rest of the evening <3

#〆 ‒‒‒‒‒ out of character.#i felt so spoiled #for choice when looking through my drafts #genuinely so grateful for the chance #to write these #i hope you know how giddy i get #reading them again #but i am a little burned out now so!!!#gonna go play stuff #if im not around tomorrow #then wednesday hopefully!!

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rileys-battlecats · 4 months ago

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girl help I started writing down oc thoughts and have started contemplating the logistics of how a city carved into the walls of a ravine would have access to fresh water

#rye.txt #MaVst #'you should do some worldbuilding' I said to myself #'it'll be easy' i said #'just write down the little thoughts you've had floating around'#I AM A FOOL #there are so many bullet points in this fuckign document #and they're all devoted to the minutiae of how the city I have in my mind would function #how the very terrain would influence the culture #couldn't just do a normal city on flat terrain noooo I had to include homes carved into rock #anyway im pretending im upset but this is so much fun #I loveee getting to think about how tiny details all affect each other and influence the greater whole #it's like problem solving but I get to make the solutions as fun and fantastical as I want #if my ocs are my silly little dolls to play pretend with #then the worldbuilding is like getting to build the doll house #which is just as fun imo #anyway im gonna give the capital city an abandoned under-city that's no longer habitable now that the original royal family is #no longer in power #it used to be lit with the light magic of the ruler that was amplified by the crown #but now it's almost impossible to navigate and so big that your torch is liable to burn out before you can explore much at all #and without a light source it's completely pitch black darkness #<- see stuff like this is so fun to think about and I can just slap it onto my world because it's cool

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benevolenterrancy · 5 days ago

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@mymusehowls I actually drew Nie Mingjue braiding Meng Yao's hair a couple months ago, so I decided to switch it up and let Meng Yao braid Nie Mingjue's this time!

Dealing with all that hair must take forever, so they may as well go over morning reports while fussing around with it u.u

#mdzs #nieyao #nie mingjue #jin guangyao #meng yao #nmj #jgy #i have so many feelings about the nie braids #i love shit like that #such a visual and codified way of showing belonging? the fact that you'd actually have to teach a SKILL to form that level of belonging?#like SOMEONE had to teach meng yao how to braid his hair that way. someone had to say 'you're one of us and you get to show the world that'#what point did he receive that permission/instruction?#and then it would have become a ROUTINE #a routine which he KEPT UP #even as jin guangyao. even as a spy.#and like? what was that meant to say?#what did it say to himself? what did it say to anyone who saw it? was anyone else allowed to see it?#all this coming from jgy who is never less than six schemes deep at any given time?#(and i don't care if this is show exclusive canon and really only '''''canon''''''' at that i am obsessed with it it's mine now)#this rat who is constantly trying to claw out some sort of safe home for himself - what does it MEAN TO HIM I WANT TO KNOW #I WANT TO DISSECT HIM #anyway #nie hair braids #i really really really love them #though on the flip side i hate drawing them with a burning passion and jgy should always have his dumb little hat on to spare me from it

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angelmush · 3 months ago

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starting to feel my enjoyment of cooking seeping back in after a long period of intense burnout that had me really slogging along preparing meals with gritted teeth for a good month there. i credit the return of this spark to the much needed break i took on our 3 day vacation that resulted in us eating solely theme park food. while delicious, in all its greasy overpriced glory, i found myself missing the kitchen. so last night for dinner i made heavily spiced chicken wings with crushed peppercorns and garam masala that rendered slowly in its own fat while roasting in the oven, resulting in flavorful charred crisp skin and a really juicy bite. we picked them clean over steamed rice with lime and scallions. i also baked a loaf of marbled pumpkin and dark chocolate bread yesterday for my neighbor as a thank you for doing me a favor last week. it looked delicious. the crumb was tender and plush and velvety, the spiced ginger molasses pumpkin batter swirling alongside the bitter dark chocolate espresso batter, with puddles of dark chocolate bubbling across its top. it looked so lovely i whipped up a second one for us to have for ourselves that's in the oven now, i think it could be a really good breakfast pastry for us this week.

#ugh it feels sooooooooo good to be enjoying cooking again #it was so bad the last like month or so i just #have been sooooo burnt out #it's genuinely insane what a 3 day vacation can do to reset you :(( it makes me sad lol #i wish that everyone could rest to their hearts content forever #i think i am someone who is extremely prone to burnout and i need about quadruple the amount of quiet alone resting time #that the average person does #so when i get burned out its like excruciating to pull myself out of it again #but im also the primary cook of my household so there isn't really time to take a break and recharge and find my joy for it because #we have to eat lol #3 times a day #every day #forever #BUT #i am feeling so much better about things now after making that dinner and baking a little bit #its feeling soooo autumnal around here lately too which helps #the changing of the seasons is so good for my cooking motivationg #idk #i was feeling pretty depressed that i was starting to resent cooking for a while there since when i enjoy it it's like #life-giving #soul sustaining #wonderful hobby that gives my life purpose and meaning #and it was breaking my heart that i wasn't feeling that way anymore #but i can feel myself coming back #writing about food helps me too #something about describing it #and sharing it with other people who are delighted by it #makes me enjoy it a little extra #sigh #i feel like im returning to myself finally !!!

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tenwhiteandalusians · 6 months ago

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so no one was going to tell me if i got literally one episode further tenax drops that he’s the one who saved scorpus from his mom’s pimp AND that he’s intimately familiar with scorpus’ dick when he was younger. guys. guys.

#thinking about an INSANE divorce fic. as a follow-up to the 30k canon-compliant backstory i have not written #(really it could be an au of that because like. am i sentimental and would i want them to get emotionally divorced NO but i will get into #the variants of this later i have to tell you about them ACTUALLY divorced first before i get into the hot divorcee energy of it all)#where they fucked around when they were younger and then broke up because. yeah tenax can dream but scorpus needs certainty he is what he #is he wants attention and dignity and when blue offers for him he goes and we don’t need to know what the massive fight was but we DO need #to know that they stopped fucking and maybe they stopped talking too but now they’re Colleagues. putting the ‘because i can’ moment #into a WHOLE different light bc it’s very much a ‘you no longer have a say in who I get to fuck because it’s not YOU. because we’re not’#and thus we get an exes-to-lovers arc I still know you the best and yes I SEE the scorpus xenon andria potential & once again I am saying:#put that in a box we can’t talk about that right now I see it but that’s not what we’re here for. anyway I was TRYING to say the ‘I know u #best of anyone’ of it all and if you think I have stopped thinking about tenax goading scorpus & talking about his dick for a single second #I have not. I REALLY have not because that is top tier blatant manipulation to be like ohhhh poor baby you’re so old and rotting I can just #get a new chariot driver I don’t even really want you anyway 😇 and scorpus KNOWS It’s bait however. he’s gotta get his attention back.#anyway they are ugly divorced and it’s very slow burn but I know exactly how you taste & what buttons to press & how to grip your shoulders #in an argument until they fuck nasty on all of their riches or however this thing ends. not well for anyone but I WILL be getting them back #together. the other fun little big divorced energy thoughts i had were very much ‘divorced and arguing but it’s foreplay to threaten to #leave each other’ so they can have hot aggressive mean sex because they get off on arguing with each other. everybody in the stables starts #to see them arguing about chariot design & the brothers are scared they’re gonna kill each other & then suddenly scorpus is tongue-fucking #Tenax’s throat with a fist still in his hair and tenax has a hand pinning him back against the post by the throat and that’s all they see #before everybody clears the FUCK out. this is a regular occurrence at all times in all arguments it’s so fun I love the dynamic #OHHHH AND IT’S AN OUTSIDER POV FIC i said the brothers really i meant elia but also now that i say that. could be a fun five + 1 of #everyone watching them threaten to kill each other and then y’know. la petit mort. ALSO i know i see the calla/tenax too we can’t talk abt #that put it in the box with the chariot drivers we can have one (1) thing at a time. the calla note is because i want a calla pov of them #where she’s just like ‘freaks. right in front of my salad?’ and does not give a fuck at all. top tier. anyway. andria/elia/calla/domitian #(Domitian seeing them petition him would be so fun because he wants to puppet master everything he’d want to know SO BAD.) the 5th one idk #because I don’t have any idea about the third brother yet but maybe Tenax catching scorpus in a brothel again? and the +1 is their POV ofc.#(anyway for myself: the vibes i want here are geno/anna cat and mouse follow/unfollow divorce and win her back rumors)#scorpus/tenax #those about to die #scorpus #tenax

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fisherrprince · 17 days ago

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my third time starting a new minecraft world has been Much more successful than my first two times. on account of how i spawned in an area that kind of had things like iron and sheep and a coastline (I GET LOST VERY EASILY) and I didn’t get immensely frustrated trying to find Anything At All. I did however try to get two sheep near me, realize very quickly that that’s really hard without wheat, break both leads I got, dig a ton of stupid holes trying to get the sheep into it, kill one sheep out of pure choices in anger rage, then realize you can’t make a bed with two different colors of wool after I had already killed the sheep,

#kipspeak #I still would rather play this with a buddy. But I made a book! And wrote in it! It’s my journal now #I’m having all these realizations like im 12 and discovering Minecraft for the first time. because i’ve Never Played This #I found an empty map and now the map is my home and now I can go ANYWHERE and find my way home (!!)#I found a huge cave with diamond and gold and redstone and lapis and died 3 times in it so there are 4 boats parked outside #I found a cat in a village and im going to BEFRIEND the cat because I fished up a nametag (and 36 cod)#I made a nether portal. I’m scared of it but I am in a forest! I think im under a different layer of forest #I now have 3 sheep and many cows and 3 chickens but no shears because they burned to a crisp in the huge cave #when I died. In lava a lot and burnt all my stuff to death #there’s a huuuge river network that I can feel confident navigating because the exit is next to my house #I have one (1) bookshelf and plan to make maaannny more because of my cows and sugarcane abundance #there’s more things to grow than just wheat and sugarcane there is Beet Root #there’s a bunch of treasure chests in these little underwater temples everywhere in the ocean (im afraid of getting lost in the ocean tho)#(but I can explore it with my map!!!)#one of these days when I find a pretty place I’ll build a second house. Mine is a beach house 3 turtles live there #idk #I also got a ton of gold and made gold boots? You’re supposed to do that when you go to the nether? Don’t remember why but I’ll find out #I also found a treasure map but I think the treasure is super far underwater..?#but im also slowly getting to the point where i don’t want to go any further by myself #it’s mostly fields and holes out here… maybe I’ll go across the ocean #I’ve never been an open world survival game girlie I am not a fan of resource games like don’t starve #but I like building. so. Hmmm #I see cherry trees waaaaay up in the hills. Cherry time

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artsonist-moth · 2 months ago

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Really proud of this piece it was very therapeutic to just draw eyes and play with colors basically.

@anartsydoge! who own the guy on the left named romeo!

~sketch and silly edits below the cut!

These two plague my mind night and day. (thank g o d cuz man i need a distraction from life rn) me and my friends have basically written a novel about them and now he's doing a complete rewrite and reimaged version of that on his own. I'm just getting free content, personalized fanfics from my content farm

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onesnoopyaday · 3 months ago

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Snoopy #33

3/11/2024

#peanuts #snoopy #art #33 #music #PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS SONG THE CHORUS IS SOOO GOOD!!!!#the visual composition of this piece is kinda ass ngl. like it's just random stuff all over the place but oh well!#wired headphones because i'm a HATER of the wireless headphones revolution that has been going on for the last like 6-8 years or so #anyway i'm obsessed with this song #and it's maybeeee lowkey relevant to my life rn 👀#guy offering me a ride home despite me living out of his way = one of many dominoes in a chain of events that will probably lead to a crush #eventually... if not right now #idk i'm insane and a loser so i could slow burn for years but i am trying not to waste other people's time with my shenanigans anymore #so into another outlet these feelings must go!#how did CRJ manage to capture so perfectly how i felt in the car in 4 simple little lines... megabrained genius behaviour i have to say!#also that car ride home was a few months ago and i didn't discover this song until afterwards (despite this album being 9 years old lol)#so how i felt in the car was Not at all influenced by any pre-existing knowledge of this song #or any desire to shape the events of my life to fit the emotions of the song for the Plot or the Aesthetic or the Narrative or whatever #it just came into my life like a perfectly tailored jacket from a thrift store

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jestiamy · 1 year ago

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qsmp makes me feel like a conspiracy theorist almost constantly. I see someone go "yeah bad almost exclusively chooses tophats in games when given the option" and I immediately run back to my conspiracy board and pin that next to the photo of q!slime and q!mariana saying they'll adopt juanaflippa because she has glasses like q!slime/q!mariana respectively under a sticky note captioned "??? the original spanish-english egg pairs were designed in a way meant to attract certain parents to adopting them???", that's connected by red string to a note pad page stating "how random was the parent pairing REALLY?" with nothing under it - which is then connected to a string that leads to several polaroids containing the ending(s) of the wall and the wreckage of the button, captioned "why build a wall that big only to have it end at a certain point?" followed by a string connected to a notebook page in the middle of the board reading "the illusion of choice?" - connected to several other seemingly dead-end questions and theories, as well as some slight stragglers only connected to eachother and not the middle. and then I look over my board covered in feverish notes and I go. yeah okay so I may just have like a slight problem

#quesadilla island and the illusion of choice.#i am so normal #I spent. a little bit too long on this bit I think.#saying stuff #I have more thoughts but it's just the generic stuff.#why does the federation want the residents on the island so badly. how did wilbur even leave the island.#why did islanders from the island itself vs others who aren't arrive the same way. what the fuck is up with the codes.#why do the feds insist on having a good rapport with the islanders. why do they try to desensitize them to their presence via tasks.#why do they try so hard to look non-threatening to the point even grunt workers carry around bubble wands to blow on the regular.#a lot of this is easily “the federation wants to build trust” but that's also a why. what do they stand to gain from doing that.#hold on where's my nerd tag #i think.#oh my god really.#that's. okay yeah that checks out actually #qsmp #quackity smp #q!cellbit a man of the people (I am burning with questions about the federation all of the time oh my god.)#edit if you see spelling mistakes in this post do not correct me please I have a fragile ego #I did not notice until four hours had passed and now I'm committed to pretending I do not in fact care about it

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flowercrowngods · 11 months ago

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oh man if this isn’t a sign to work on who did this to you part 4 some more 👀

#i have so many thoughts and ideas fr and eddie is an awkward little gremlin boy in all of them but it’s fine because #blue and robbie know how to deal with little gremlin boys by now hhhh they live in my head rent free #i am 🤏 this close to burning myself out irl so this could go either way lmao

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unproduciblesmackdown · 5 months ago

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(genderly) chill as hell if i was only ever glimpsed / detected like this

#Shrouded In A Rectangle neither sleeves nor an open front to be besieged with? yes #just doing whatever else like doesn't matter. tee cargo shorts which is my best guess rn of my ideal outfit. + sandals Absolutely #unfortunately my hair could never do that. somehow neither am i yet like forties fifties? have i not been at this for eons?#i Can be like uh let's just nobody talk to me i'm busy pensively perceiving truths that you don't ever actually wanna hear about #just the other day it was like hey....a [way Having To Talk could be a difficulty / problem] was under my nose in this lifelong pattern #certainly noticing the Verbal Exchange Demand heaped upon burnout as like [delay delay delay struggle weariness stress]#but also who knows like spent plenty of time just probably indeed Not having to have such exchanges while burned out. not noting them #anyway like this isn't even [dysphoric Ideal Outfit until i could [whatever supposed even more ideal than that gender euphoria]]#though shoutout to that but like nah get shrouded anyway. the only [how do i look] im motivated to consider is: when it's a costume #when it's just me it's like. i guess whatever pants and a comfortable enough tee. need glasses. hair's w/e so cut quite short ig #might accessorize w/things that are fun to me like hey yeah yknow i might want a calculator watch #[yea as a kid it was like :( im actively appreciating the animals supposedly Gross or Bad] if i had hated little friends Sure yaay #if i had disorienting light effects like a pelagic creature. but you don't even need that. like hey i'm nd in real life. i got it #chat i'm in the walls too bestie lmao. if only my bigfoot pose reference Step was this good #tl;dr long rephrasing of my being like; now the gender slay....#& nodding & Noting when [worksheet exercise: what's your gender euphoria look?] is like shrug idk. but this is serving maximally to me; so #going Chat how can i up my uncanny stats. looking up ''isn't it like Uncanny knowledge e.g. so like why not....canny''#but i think the un canny is the Uncanniness Accuser's perspective. not of My ken. your literal weird one maybe #so again apt to be like jk i'm just autistic & shit; i got it....horror shit challenge impossible: Don't have sm typical mundane #[disability moment] as like Unsettling danger/malice cues. challenge impossible; again #subverted here like as [horror holding hands touching foreheads w/comedy] w/o Rescinding just casual disabled behavior/qualities #just remembered like three witches weird sisters etc macbeth. weird uncanny soothsaying gendering. word #anyway i should be shrouded (made no any connection whenever i put the blanket now over my head & shoulders in place min ago)#perhaps the real Ideal Look insight: i do not have any way i wish to be observed by people. secret passages / removed room anytime

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thebirdandhersong · 5 months ago

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the miserable angry person I become when I haven't eaten is, in a word, atrocious. it is 9pm I have not had my dinner murder is about to be on the menu if I don't fix this soon

#i spent. SO LONG (5min) trying to iron a shirt that would NOT be ironed #and then SO LONG (60 seconds) futilely trying to shove the ironing board closed (gave up and left)#and now i want to CRY because i CANT STAND INDECISIVE YOUNG MEN #what is going ON in your BRAIN if you would COMMUNICATE i might UNDERSTAND!!!!! WHAT is the struggle WHAT is going on #if you were INTERESTED as so many people have CLAIMED YOU WERE why didn't you SAY anything why didn't you DO anything!!!!!!!!!!#LIFE IS LITERALLY SO SHORT WHAT IS GOING ONNNN I CANNOT SIT HERE WAITING FOR YOU FOREVER I CANNOT !!!!!#they said it might be because you had qualms about long distance. BOY I WOULD'VE GIVEN LONG DISTANCE AN ENTHUSIASTIC SHOT #not to be like. once again i am the one more interested i am the one so ready to open my heart i am the one more invested #but like. dude. we live in an age of technology. if you want to get to know me. TEXT ME I'M LITERALLY IN THE SAME COUNTRY!!!!!!!#also what a day this has been. i agreed to teach sunday school (i am burned out and felt dread the whole time and then after i said yes)#and then socialized with too many people and then spent about 2 hours commuting and then came home and watched a romcom #that was happy that made me sad because it was happy. i too would like to be treated tenderly and pursued intentionally for once. anyways #in the same day one friend got engaged to her best friend and one friend got involved with a horrible boy and the whiplash was Horrendous #also if you cant tell i am indeed on my period and feel like too much and not enough lol i need to be alone for a little while

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willowfey · 1 year ago

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starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal