#but i am Determined to find the person doing this
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Genuinely the least attractive thing a person can do in my eyes(and yes this has happened) is find me attractive, flirt, get close hang out, and then they check their book and determine they don't like girls.(Of which I am adjacent)
Afraid of experiencing something new and beautiful outside the cultural norms by yourself gorgeous?
That's the beautiful thing about love in all it's forms. Love is never a gender; love is you.
i think most people accept the idea of "you don't control who you're attracted to" in terms of being gay but imo it can go further. like if you're not attracted to men, but you happen to find a transmasc person attractive, i dont think thats inherently transphobic if you acknoweldge that your attraction is incongruent with their identity. you dont need to run yourself in circles creating qualifiers for your sexuality when we live in a world of infinite gender identites. it's not like you have an inbuilt radar that tells you whether that hot stranger at the bar is a woman or not. man who kissed a twink that turned out to be a butch lesbian that thought he was a butch lesbian. etc.
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
My Compliments to the Chef
The smutty and soft finale of the series. MDNI 18+ only
Part 1
Part 2
TW: Smut, P in V intercourse, fingering, oral-female receiving with mentions of male receiving, sensory deprivation, self-consciousness, reader is uncomfortable in her own skin, body scars, body worship, hurt/comfort, fluff
Alastor advanced on you slowly, the famished look never leaving his eyes, he reminded you of a cat that finally cornered the mouse it was hunting. For every one of his steps forward you had to take two back to keep the distance between you even. You eventually ran out of floorspace when the backs of your knees hit his bed, with you effectively trapped the demon was quick to close the distance completely.
He grabbed you by your jaw, holding your face up so he could press his lips to yours again. You moaned into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing yourself into him. His free hand wrapped around your waist in a vice grip like he was afraid you'd run away if he let you go. He released your lips with a 'pop' to trail his lips down the your exposed throat, nipping the skin to leave little love marks. When the hand on your waist started to dip under your shirt you violently jumped to the side to put space between you once more.
For a moment Alastor stood stock still, the position making it look like he was holding an invisible person. He blinked a couple of times before straightening up and looking at you quizzically, wondering if he had read you wrong. His head cocked to the side, carefully scrutinizing your body language.
Your heart hammered away in your chest, you bit the inside of your lip as you tried taking deep breaths to calm yourself. Being with Alastor in this way was thrilling, but even the excitement of the moment wasn't enough to quell the insecurities that were screaming at you.
When you finally composed yourself you gave him an apologetic look, "I am so sorry. I-It's just that...", you trailed of as you looked down, trying to find the right words to explain yourself.
Long fingers hooked under your chin again to make you look up at his face, "My Dear, my sincerest apologies if I overstepped-"
"No! No, it's not that. Um.. it's my scars. They don't end at at my arms, they are kind of all over. I...I'm not exactly pretty to look at", your voice trailed off, becoming a whisper at the end. You looked over at the fireplace to avoid his eyes staring down at you as tears welled up in your own.
Alastor let go of you and backed away. You had to suppress a sob; here it was, the rejection you were so terrified of.
The rustle of fabric caught your attention, Alastor was laying his coat across the his bed; he then stared right at you as he pulled at his bow tie and threw it on top of his jacket. Nimble fingers slowly started to unbutton his shirt, his eyes never leaving yours.
"Al...what are you doing?", you asked completely bewildered. Part of you wanted to look away- the intense look in his eyes, how his chest fluff slowly came into view in such a sensual manner- it was almost too much, but you couldn't bring yourself to look away from him.
After releasing the final button of his shirt, Alastor painstakingly slowly pushed it off his shoulders and revealed his bare torso to you. You gasped, a hand flying up to your mouth as you took the sight of him in. His black arms and tawny body were littered in scars; unlike yours, his scars disfigured the skin where it ripped apart and sewn itself back together. One long gash made its way from his right hip to left shoulder- the wound Adam gave him in the battle at the hotel. Your feet carried you over to him before you were conscious of the movement, hand raised in front of you as it hovered above his chest seeking permission to touch.
His hand grasped yours before you could make contact, vulnerability flashed briefly across his face before it hardened into a more determined expression. He slowly brought your hand to the space where his heart was enclosed in his sternum, resting your palm on the mended skin of the axe wound. "We all have our insecurities Dear, not a single one of us is immune to the judgements our minds cast upon us." His eyes stared intently into yours, watching as tears formed and slowly fell down your cheeks. This wound must have been excruciating; it looked so large and deep, it was a miracle he survived it.
You finally ripped your eyes from the scar to look back up at him, his expression was a mixture of uncertainty, desperation, and primal hunger. A new determination settled in your mind, your dried your tears with your hand that was not touching him and stepped fully into his space leaving just an inch between you two. Your fingers ghosted over his skin, feather-light caresses applied to each of the scars you could see. Some were raised and rough to the touch, while others were smooth and shiny; the muscles underneath would twitch with each new blemish you stroked.
One finger remained on his body as you lazily walked around him to his back. You were met with the same myriad of cicatrices forming constellations across his dorsum. You felt braver without his eyes being able to stare you down from here, after each stroke of your finger you planted a chaste kiss to the marking.
You heard the gasp he made the first time you pressed your lips to his body, a small smile gracing your face at being able to elicit such a response from The Radio Demon with your gentle affections. After revering every scar across his being you finally came back to face him, your heart skipping a beat when he immediately close his arms around you and pulling you into a needy kiss.
Alastor's fingers grabbed your hips and he slowly spun you around so your back was to him. Opening your eyes, you were met with a mirror that had magically appeared out of nowhere. You met Alastor's eyes in the reflection as he leaned in to whisper in your ear "Allow me to show you just how transcendent you truly are."
He snapped his fingers, but your vision didn't go black as you expected it would. Instead, you were ushered into a world of total silence. Your wide eyes locked onto crimson orbs as his red claws slowly lifted your shirt over your head, his eyes never left yours even as he unclasped your bra. You struggled to resist the urge to cover your breasts, swallowing hard as every imperfection was revealed to the mirror.
His hand collected yours and raised it to his lips, tender kisses were pressed to your knuckles before he flipped your hand over to gently nip at the pulse point of your wrist. A gasp ripped out of your throat at the sensation, your eyes flying shut. His lips stilled completely, all sensation coming to an abrupt halt. You peaked an eye open, Alastor was watching you with a patient yet disapproving gaze. Once your eyes met his he slid his lips up your forearm, nipping and kissing along the borders of your reddened skin. Anytime you averted your gaze from his ministrations he would completely stop until your eyes found his again.
When he finished pecking and nipping your arm he moved across your shoulders, meeting your neck where he used his cheek to push your head to the side to grant him access. By now heat was pooling in your belly; your thighs rubbed together as subtly as you could as your abdomen clenched with every graze of his teeth on your skin. By the time he reached your other wrist you were certain your panties were ruined.
Looking in the mirror now you could barely recognize yourself; your lips parted in an "O" as soft whimpers and pants left your throat, eyes glazed over and half-lidded. You had never seen yourself look so fucked out and he hadn't even touched you in a sexual way yet.
His fingers ran down your ribs and across your abdomen, meeting right below your navel to unbutton your jeans. He pulled both your pants and panties down your legs slowly until you could step out of them. Your cheeks heated up as you stood naked in front of the mirror, the predatory eyes of the demon behind you raked over your form greedily.
One of his hands came around you again, a curious finger dipping into your folds. Your body jolted, back arching and hips pushing into his touch. You let out a mewl you could not hear as your head flew back and hit the demon's chest, your eyes closing on instinct. Just like before, Alastor's movements stilled as soon as your eyes left the mirror.
His other hand crept up the back of your head, tangling into your hair and forcing your head back up but you kept your eyes closed. Displeased, Alastor leaned forward and bit your ear just hard enough for it to sting. It elicited his desired affect as your eyes flew open once again. He subtly shook his head at you as his hand tightened in your hair- you would not be turning away from the mirror again. Just as you resigned to your fate the claw in your folds reminded you of its presence as it circled around your clit.
You bit your lip, using all your willpower to keep your attention on yourself in the mirror. The claw circled your bundle of nerves faster and faster, your wines silent to your own ears as your hips started to buck into his hand. Your eyes were now glued to the way his dexterous digits played with your nub.
A finger slipped inside of you quickly followed by a second, his thumb still applying delicious pressure to your clit. His pace picked up, fingers curling inside you to hit that spongy spot that nearly had your knees buckling under you. In the mirror you could see that your face was flushed, beads of sweat broke out across your forehead, your chest heaved with every breath. Your vision went white as you clamped down on his fingers, lips parted in a scream as Alastor watched you unravel at his hands.
A low chuckle alerted you that your hearing had been restored. When your vision re-focused the mirror was gone and you were laying in bed with Alastor hovering over you. You took the chance to allow your eyes to roam over his body- lean muscle, chiseled abdomen, a deep v-line at his hips, and a fucking monster of a cock ready to impale you. Your eyes blew wide open as he lowered himself down on you to leave love nips down the column of your throat; his member sliding through your folds and collecting your slick.
"Al-Alastor," your body trembled, "I haven't slept with anyone since I died and there is no way I will fit all of you inside me!"
"Hmm," Alastor hummed completely unconcerned, "you can, and you will My Dear." His arms reached down and hooked your knees with the crook his of elbows, effectively spreading you wide open for him and leaving no way for you to push him away from your core as he slowly sunk into you inch by inch.
You choked as the intrusion stole the air from your lungs, your nails digging into his shoulders as you instinctively tried to push him back to no avail. It stung slightly as your walls struggled to accommodate him, the full feeling overwhelming at first. He stilled once he was buried to the hilt, giving you time to get accustomed to the sensation. Your breath came in short gasps as your legs shook vigourously in his hold; it felt like he was buried in your guts, his tip pushed flush against your cervix. "Relax Mon Cher, I won't push you beyond what you can take," he peppered chaste kisses across your cheekbones as your breathing evened out, the full feeling becoming more pleasant than intrusive.
Once your walls relaxed around him the buck started to slowly rock his hips in shallow thrusts. Pain quickly gave way to pleasure and a lewd moan fell from your lips as your walls fluttered, his pelvis grinding into your nub perfectly with each thrust.
"That's it Dear, such a good girl- taking me so well. See? I knew you were an expert at handling meat", Alastor growled at you, biting down on your neck just below your ear. You whimpered, his cock catching your entrance with every thrust forward and bullying that spongy spot. His arms lifted your legs higher towards your chest, you couldn't be spread open any further. Your Overlord lover licked the bruise he gave you, it would be impossible for you to hide without a scarf.
The coil in your core tightened, your legs quivering uncontrollably as your toes curled. Your nails raked down his back desperate to ground yourself amongst the pleasure; you idly wondered if you could leave scars of your own along his spine.
His pace turned absolutely bruising as he chased your collective releases. "Tu es parfait, si délicieux, mon petit chef."
His cockhead rammed into your cervix like he was trying to bust through it. A scream of intense pleasure ripped out your throat as the coil finally snapped, sending a flood of arousal out of your cunt. Alastor watched your face contort with your orgasm and committed the stunning sight to his memory. His own release surged into your fluttering cunt with a groan, his forehead falling onto yours, your breaths mixing together as you both basked in post-coital bliss.
"La mesure de l'amour, c'est d'aimer sans mesure", he whispered before giving you one more deep and sensual kiss.
"You know I don't speak French right? I have no idea what you've been saying", you giggled when he pulled away.
"Hmm, I will teach you some day My Dear. For now, let's just enjoy this moment shall we?", he rolled over and draped you across his chest. You snuggled into his chest fluff, inhaling the smell of sex and Alastor's musky scent as you drifted off. Right before you fell into unconsciousness you heard "Je t'aime".
You smiled- you knew that one, "I love you too."
Alastor awakened with a start-something was wrong. He reached out for you only for the space you had occupied to be vacant and cold. He shot up, looking around the room but saw no sign of you. The clock on the wall read 4:30 AM, Alastor got out of bed to search for you- had you gone back to your own room? If so, why?
He snapped his fingers to quickly dress himself, only for his chest to remain bare. His shirt was not with his other clothes...your clothes were still littered across his floor however. Alastor hummed at this clue, he'd either find you in his shirt or you'd be roaming the hotel naked.
He felt secure enough to shadow travel without covering his upper body, it was so early in the morning no one would be roaming the halls at this time except the two of you. He checked your room first but quickly moved on when he found no sign you'd been there for hours- probably since you woke up the previous morning.
The next most obvious room to investigate was the kitchen. The demon cursed himself for not preparing his room for your activities, surely you woke up thirsty and had to trudge all the way to the kitchen for water if you didn't wake him up. He would correct that egregious oversight on his part promptly.
The demon stopped dead in his tracks as he manifested at the kitchen door. The radio was playing a modern "pop" song he was unfamiliar with and your sweet voice was singing along to it. Slowly, he approached the kitchen and leaned a shoulder against the door frame as he took in the scene before him.
You were practically dancing around the kitchen in nothing but his shirt (which comically came down to your knees), singing your heart out to a song about two lovers whose passion burned so intensely it was like fire on fire. You flitted between the hot stove and the various spices on the counter, so absorbed in your task you hadn't noticed the 7-foot-tall deer demon in the doorway.
Alastor watched you with a soft smile on his face, his heart swelling in his chest. He recognized the spices you had out- all the staples of a traditional cajun seasoning. When you added them to your dish he noticed that you never measured any of them, letting your sense of smell guide the spice profile of the food. A bottle of his favorite bourbon also sat on the counter, no doubt if he checked the hotel bar he'd find that Husk was missing that bottle of whiskey.
You mixed the alcohol into a pan, causing a small flame to rise that you expertly handled while spinning the bottle in your free hand like he would his cane. Alastor chuckled at your theatrics, you hadn't noticed him yet so he knew you were showing off for yourself. Soon enough, the mouth-watering aroma of cayenne, garlic, and pork wafted into the air. The Overlord's heart soared when you brought the dish together- cajun pork chops with a bourbon glaze and a vegetable medley of brussel sprouts, zucchini, and peppers. He was approaching you before was aware he was moving.
You startled at his sudden appearance, hand clutching the buttons at your chest, "Sweet Satan Al, please give me some kind of warning before you just waltz on in like that!"
"Apologies My Dear, I did not mean to scare you. However, I am curious, what brings you to the kitchen at this hour?", he stood just inches from you, heart about to beat out of his chest if his suspicions proved to be correct.
"Well-uhh," your face turned beet red and you looked down at the food bashfully, "I guess I was just feeling inspired and couldn't get this creation out of my head. So I needed to find out if I could pull it off."
"The pork chops, that's your signature dish is it not?"
You nodded your head, shyly looking back up at him, "I added a twist to it though."
He reached a hand out to cup your cheek, moving so his chest pressed to yours, "You changed your signature dish...for me? You fused our cooking together." It was not a question, the declaration sat there on a plate in front of him.
"Yes", your answering whisper was just barely audible but it was all the confirmation he needed. You squealed when his hands hooked around your thighs and sat you down on the countertop, his shirt riding up your thighs. He immediately pressed his lips to yours and demanded entry into your mouth with his tongue.
After several minutes of making out like lovesick teenagers, Alastor pulled away to inspect the plate, "It would be a shame to let this all go to waste."
He ran a claw through the glaze, but instead of bringing it to his mouth as you expected he painted it over your neck. Before you had the chance to object to having the sticky sauce on your skin he licked a wide stripe up your throat, cleaning it of all the dressing. He had to admit you did a phenomenal job of balancing the bitter bourbon with sweet brown sugar...and it complimented the taste of your skin incredibly well.
You moaned as you threw your head back, elongating your throat for him. His hands gripped onto each side of your (his) shirt and tore it apart sending buttons flying in every direction. "Alastor! Someone can come in and catch us!", you shrieked as you scrambled to cover yourself again.
Alastor was having none of it and promptly caught your wrists and pinned them against the cabinets above you. "Poppycock Darling, no one will be awake for hours yet. Now, lets enjoy this meal you so artfully crafted shall we?"
He used the glaze to paint more trails across your body- starting at your throat and going down through the valley between your breasts, down your navel, and multiple strokes on your inner thighs. "My, my Mon Cher. You are the most delectable meal I have ever laid eyes on. Care if I have a little nibble?" He didn't wait for your answer as he dove down, licking up every drop of sauce and leaving bites along the way. You bit down on your hand to stop from screaming out a moan when he bit down on your breast just hard enough to leave teeth marks.
He pushed your thighs apart to make room for himself as he settled on his knees before you. His tongue ran up each thigh as slowly as he could restrain himself to. "Your glaze was perfect my dear, but I am looking forward to tasting a different coulis from you."
He pressed the flat of his tongue to your thigh and licked all the way up to your core. The second his tongue made contact with your folds you jolted, crying out in sheer ecstasy as your legs clamped shut on his head. He tutted at you disapprovingly and summoned his shadows to hold your knees as far apart as they'd go. Satisfied with your position, he dove back in, leaving kitten licks on your clit before sucking on it harshly.
You fought to hold in a high-pitched keen, fisting one hand in his hair and using the other to hold one the top cabinets for balance. Alsator's hands locked around your hips in a bruising grip and slid you forward so your ass was just barely on the counter anymore, the only reason you were still precariously perched there was his tight hold and his shadows holding your legs.
Alastor let go of your clit to plunge his tongue deep into your drenched hole. One hand let go of your hip to begin making tight circles around your nub as his tongue searched for that special spot that made your vision spotty. His efforts were rewarded when your body convulsed, back arching and pushing your pelvis into his face when he found it.
He didn't let up for a second, he doubled-down on his efforts- tongue bullying your spongy walls repeatedly while his thumb pressed harder and harder circles to your clit. The pressure built up quickly, tears forming in your eyes as you struggled to hold back your moans as to not wake anyone. You bit your bottom lip a little too harshly, a droplet of blood trailing down your chin.
The sight made Alastor go feral, with a guttural growl he removed his tongue from you pushed three fingers inside to take it's place, instantly setting a brutal pace. His mouth turned back to your pearl, sucking it harshly and using his upper fangs to pinch it ever so lightly.
The pleasure, the pain, the sheer ferocity sent you catapulting over the edge; you couldn't help but to let out a blood-curdling scream that a shadow quickly muffled by clamping over your mouth. Your walls squeezed his fingers like a vice, trapping him within you while his tongue soothed your bundle of nerves and helped you ride out your orgasm.
Once your body released his fingers, he brought his thumb up to capture the blood on your jaw. Keeping his eyes on yours, he made a lewd show of licking his fingers clean of your slick and blood.
"My compliments to the chef My Dear!", he chuckled to himself as you caught your breath. He gingerly set you back down on the floor, allowing you to use him for balance as your legs wobbled.
You took a look at the plate, only the glaze eaten,"Well, since you said this shouldn't go to waste I suppose I will finish it." You picked up the plate and a fork, wrapped Alastor's shirt back around yourself, and began trekking towards the staircase.
"And where do you think you are going Mon Cher?"
"Back to your room. I heard you call me an expert meat handler yesterday, figured I should show you just how well I can truly handle my meat", you made a show of pushing your fork into your mouth suggestively, giving him a wink before turning on your heal and taking off.
Alastor stood there dumbfounded for just a second before a smug smirk split his face. With a snap he melted into the shadows to chase after you; a paper fluttering to the countertop to let Charlie know that both chefs would be preoccupied for the day. All he planned to devour this day was you.
Thanks for reading! This was such as fun piece to write, I hope you enjoyed it!
Here is the song that reader was singing as she was cooking:
youtube
Tags:
@voxslays
@ladyadrasteia666
@angeldustharmony
@milkissesx
@shealizxx
@sh3sa1dwhat
@littlebluefishtail
@ustulia
@christinebloodwrittings
@alastorsgirl48
@shea4u
#hazbin alastor#alastor x reader#alastor x you#hazbin hotel#alastor the radio demon#fem reader#alastor fluff
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
Steph and Jason's first mission together: Astro Girls
Context: Taking place after Jason befriended Cass, who happened to be sick that night, Stephanie found herself in need of someone to aid her in unraveling the mystery of the missing people linked to a yoga club, a cult, a multi-level marketing scheme, and astro-girls. This mission was a mix of her venting about her frustrations and doing something productive. It also marked their first mission together. Jason did appreciate for Stephanie's unhinged eccentricity and fighting skills.
Red Hood cuffed a crazed cult member while Spoiler spoke to the remaining members, most of whom were bruised and scared, with only a few still devoted to Astro.
Red Hood: I’m just going to say this: you are the worst type of person, and the only reason I’m not shooting you is that I’m working with someone who would rat me out to Batman.
Spoiler (sneaking up next to Red Hood): In a situation like this, you can aim for her thigh or something.
Astro (smugly): You can’t blame me for this. If anything, you should be letting me walk.
Red Hood: Why? Were you under the control of someone else?
Astro (confidently incorrect): It’s not my fault I can sway people easily; it’s the Virgo in me.
Red Hood (confused): It’s the what?
He looked at Spoiler, assuming she understood, but she shook her head with her eyes closed. Astro grinned pridefully while clasping her cuffed hands together.
Astro: Virgo means I’m a natural-born leader. People instantly want to follow me. If they were different birth signs, they wouldn’t have messed up this club.
Spoiler (deadpan): I knew it was odd that one of them kept asking when my birthday was.
Red Hood (angry): Am I missing something? Lady, you were running a cult disguised as a yoga club, which was a front for your multi-level marketing scheme that sold diet smoothies to people and nearly killed a lot of them. The people following you are idiots, yes, but you being a virgin doesn’t excuse anything.
Spoiler (exhausted): Virgo.
Red Hood (aggravated): You don’t know how little I care.
Spoiler: I don’t either, but… I can explain what this totally sane woman is talking about. She started all this to have a following of sycophants who could take the fall for her if she did something like this. Oh, and wait, Astro—because of course that's your name—you made the smoothie powder yourself, but it wasn't your fault that every other batch contained some type of drug or poison. As a Virgo, you could only order your 'members' to make it.
Astro (oblivious): Girl, duh. It's not my fault they messed up the recipe.
Red Hood: Bitch, the original recipe had rat poison mixed in it!
Astro: Okay, you’re yelling at me, and the Virgo in me is very sensitive to sound.
Red Hood (angry sigh): That doesn't even make any sense!
Spoiler (stepping in front of him): I got this, Hood. Man, it is great finally meeting an astrological girl.
Astro (fluttering her eyes happy): Oh my goodness, you know about us?
Spoiler nodded, tight smile.
Spoiler (rolling up her sleeves): Oh yeah, you relying on star signs, rising moons, and tides to determine literally anything is totally fascinating. Especially when you use it to be mean to people or dismiss actions like this.
Astro (valley girl accent): Yes, and we’re usually very accurate. Like I said, it’s not my fault I accidentally made a cult.
Red Hood (loud): You were beating people who tried to escape!
Astro: My rising tide—
Spoiler growled and punched the woman in the nose, knocking her to the ground.
Spoiler (kicking the woman while she was down): Oh, was that my Capri Sun rising on the horizon?! No, it's because I think you suck for what you put these poor men and women through for two years! News fa- lash: your alignment named after some piece of Greek mythology or an animal doesn’t excuse the fact that you’re a bad person!
Red Hood: Um, this feels like it's connected to something.
Spoiler (pausing her kicking): My mom used to be into this crap before finding the Lord, and she made a lot of terrible decisions before 'finding the Lord' thanks to people like this!
Red Hood: Oh wow, her becoming religious is less insane than them?
Spoiler: Pretty much, yeah. I’m shocked too.
Astro (weakly): What month was she born? That could be linked to her poor decision-making—
Spoiler patted her elbow and then slammed into the woman’s body as Red Hood watched, impressed.
Red Hood (amused): Huh… I’m glad we’re working together tonight.
Spoiler (punching the woman): Told you our first team-up would be fun. Give me two more minutes with her, though?
Red Hood: Oh yeah, sure. I’ve dealt with crazy people like this before; go nuts for the two minutes. I’ll take care of the hostages.
Spoiler had the woman in a headlock but nodded as Jason walked over to the people who had been brainwashed or kidnapped to be part of the yoga/MLM cult.
Spoiler: Thanks.
#batfamily#batfamily chronicles#batman#batfamily shenanigans#jason todd#batfamily headcanons#Stephanie Brown meme quern#stephanie brown#batfamily funny#batfamily comedy#batfamily fanfiction#batfamily fluff#spoiler dc#microfiction#flash fiction#headcanon batfamily#batfamily microseries#script fic#part of my batfamily flash fiction#batfamily fic#dc fanfiction#batfamily chronicles flash fiction#batfamily flash fiction#can you tell how I feel about astrological girls#No issue with people into that stuff to a degree it's when they start using it in the weirdest situations that angers me#like trying to say rising tides or moons or suns are the reason there was a storm in 1924 lol#red hood#dc spoiler#spoiler#stephanie brown isn't jason todd she's unhinged and blonde
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
Snippet Smonday
Thanks for the tag @badmarilynart! I don't have any more of Driven written yet so here's the beginning of the second chapter of Hellfire & Damnation, my old new Bloodweave Hellfire Club AU that I'll be working on after the meepboys park up for good. Nopreshtags: @davenswitcher @buhloodweeeave @hylianworrier
Chapter 2 - A Proposal
Gale rapidly pushes himself up to sitting, gathering his fallen toga over his embarrassment, backing away until he hits the cold stone wall.
“Lord Ancunin!”
The Hellfire Club’s founder lets out another low laugh, sitting back on his heels. Even kneeling, his slender physique is perfect, a body carved from heavenly marble. “You look dismayed. Am I to take this as an insult, Baronet? I am a disappointment. You would have preferred another?”
“N-no, I mean-” All of Gale’s earlier defiance is gone, melting under the heat of those intense green eyes and his current vulnerability. “I merely thought-”
His words are failing him as his mind races. Why is Lord Ancunin here? Is this an attempt to gain leverage? Blackmail material, as Wyll speculated earlier? After all, what they have just done borders on unlawful. But what could such a powerful member of the House of Lords require from a mere scientist, albeit a highly decorated one? Why would Ancunin… attend to this matter personally?
“I was not expecting you, my Lord,” Gale attempts to steady his voice, trying to collect his thoughts. “I was informed that you do not… participate in the… revelry of your own gatherings.”
“Then your informant is either unreliable or I am simply unpredictable.” Those plump lips quirk into a one-sided grin and Ancunin extends a graceful hand to trace up Gale’s exposed shin. “I’d like to think it was the latter.”
Gale doesn’t know what to say or do. All of his attention is taken up by the pale hand softly caressing the hair on his leg.
“May I see your face, Baronet?” Ancunin’s tone is surprisingly coquettish. “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours…”
Something about his voice, or his presence, or the way his damned fingers are sliding up Gale’s thigh makes the request difficult to deny. Gale reaches up to the back of his head and undoes the thin mask, pulling it from his eyes.
Ancunin’s head tilts as he contemplates Gale’s face, an uncanny sight in his golden, multi-tined disguise. Then he removes his hand from Gale’s leg and undoes his own face covering, taking it off and setting it on the bed.
Without the mask, he is even more beautiful than Gale had estimated. Ancunin’s eyes are ringed with kohl and his lashes are thick and dark, fluttering against the tops of high cheekbones when he coyly lowers his gaze.
“That's better,” he purrs. “Now we may proceed with our affairs.”
“Affairs?” Gale studies Ancunin’s face, trying to determine his intentions, but there’s nothing there. Only cold, indecipherable beauty. What does he want? What does he want? What does he want?
“I have informants of my own, you know,” the man says softly and Gale freezes.
Aha, here we go.
“They tell me you find yourself without a patron. That it is this current plight which brings you here to my little corner of Hades.”
“Then it seems your informant is more reliable than mine or I am simply predictable.”
Lord Ancunin laughs out loud, a pretty sound that reverberates around the alcove like the voice of a mythical nymph. “I do only pay the best, you know,” his head is tilted again, the same coy smile on his face. “On which note: if I were to offer you my investment, Baronet, what precisely would you be willing to do to secure it?”
~
Read Chapter 1 of Hellfire & Damnation on AO3!
#bloodweave#astarion x gale#gale x astarion#gale dekarios#astarion#astarion ancunin#gale of waterdeep#ao3 fanfic#ao3 writer#fanfic#bg 3 fanfic#bg3 fic#bg3 fanfic#bg3 fanfiction#bloodweave fic#bloodweave fanfic
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
Living through the Next American Political Order: Institutions Will Comply, and You Will Be Made Complicit
I woke up this morning to see that Donald Trump had been elected president again. Like roughly half of American voters, this is not the outcome that I had hoped for. Politics, like history, is chaotic and uncertain. Yet the victorious party in American politics last night has campaigned for years on a clear platform and a coherent vision of America’s future. Voters chose that party, and institutional guardrails will not constrain the next government. American life will change accordingly.
I did not predict this outcome. I predicted no outcome, because I did not know, and what I did know made me fearful. But about two weeks ago, liberals like me started to acknowledge—quietly, privately—that we thought Trump would win again. So I am not surprised, exactly. Nor is any woman I know, including my own daughter.
But I am demobilized and discouraged nevertheless. The results confirm some of my worst fears about what Americans will support when given the choice. And now I, like others who share my views towards the next administration, must ponder how to make our way through the coming years. The threats facing Americans are not all the same, and so they will be borne unequally; people with my characteristics will face fewer risks than many others. And yet all of us will need to wake up every day and make our way through our lives, mindful of the new political world we live in, but with the same obligations as ever amidst an uncertain and frightening new future.
When I wrote “Life in Authoritarian States is Mostly Boring and Tolerable” in 2017, I was anticipating a situation much like this one. And so in the early hours of the second Trump administration, here are the implications I see.
Liberalism is Not That Popular. I am a liberal at heart. I believe in individual autonomy, collective self-determination, and political equality. I believe that this implies a certain form of politics, including the rule of law, republicanism, and proceduralism. But my values are not that popular among the voting public, and the consequences are apparent. The liberal strands (dare I say “foundations”) of American politics shall be undermined, and some dismantled. Anyone who thinks that America has never been a liberal republic will find evidence to support their position as well.
Your Institutions Will Comply with the Administration. The next administration will likely destroy some institutions, but more likely, it will work with and reshape existing institutions to suit its purposes. The mechanisms through which this will happen are legal and financial. Concretely, this is how they will direct the corporate sector, constrain universities, and shape the mass media. Electoral authoritarian regimes routinely do this around the world. Our next administration will follow that playbook. There are plenty of past precedents in U.S. history, and comparative examples around the world right now.
That means, there will come a time when the administration tells the press not to publish a story, for reasons that are transparently nonsense. The press will comply. There will come a time when universities are told what they can teach and what students can do. They will comply too. They will comply because the consequences of noncompliance are too severe, even if every single person working within those institutions opposes the actions taken in their name.
You Will Face A Choice. Many people are going to be made vulnerable under the coming administration, especially anyone who lacks a U.S. passport, women, and gender nonconforming people. Most people living in the U.S. will not be so vulnerable, but we will operate within a system in which our friends and neighbors face existential risks. And because we are embedded in institutions, we will become the agents of the administration even if we do not want to be. The institutions will comply, rendering us complicit even through nonaction, without our consent, sometimes without our knowledge.
Last week I spoke to some students who had concerns about how my institution regulates speech and protest. I told them directly: you must not assume that our university can safeguard you. You should not believe any promise that they make, because they do not rule. Our financial and legal status is contingent, and a change in government will threaten that. Make your choices fully aware of this fact.
I’ll close by spelling out the implications of this last point. People like me will face difficult, perhaps even agonizing choices about whether to comply with odious policies and oppressive regulations. Some of us will resist when we can, but others will not. It is best, in the quiet of the morning after, to sit down and think, what will you resist, and what price are you prepared to pay for that resistance.
We must all make these decisions for ourselves. I have my own values. But I also look around the world to see other countries where governments like Trump’s have been elected. And because I believe that we learn from the world around us, I anticipate that most Americans, most of the time, will choose not to resist
Thoughts on this situation, and managing it.
328 notes
·
View notes
Text
I am experiencing a Workplace Mystery
Someone in my workplace is leaving these tiny figures around the computer stations and break rooms:
They aren't particularly well made, I believe they're from some kind of mini model kit as they are too small to be toys. However, I can't find anything online that looks quite like them
A few weeks ago there were just a couple appearing, but they've been increasing. This week we've been finding at least 2 per day. No one will admit to knowing anything, though several people suspect our DON is responsible as he works late when no one else here during the day would see
I've been collecting them and holding them hostage (taping them to our message board) until the responsible party is revealed
As of now I have 21 of these little buggers
#story time i guess#my work#i am a victim of workplace pranks#work has been very stressful lately so having an Mystery is kinda helping tbh#but i am Determined to find the person doing this#it wouldn't be fun if i made it too easy for them to get away with it
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
I remember why I stopped reading this fic oh my god
#Yamaguchi would not ‘flirt with anything (sentient or not)’ he would not say ‘oh honey’ he would not be oblivious to how Tsukishima feels#YOU FUNDAMENTALLY MISUNDERSTAND EVERYRHING ABOUT HIS VERY SIMPLE CHARACTER#look as a yama fan I encourage expanding his character right#but in canon. his character is 1. social anxiety personified 2. a dork 3. kind of snarky 4. a follower and 5. Tsukki’s number one fan#also 6. very fucking passionate and determined#he can be expanded upon a lot both with canon facts and wih hcs#but more than anything he would NEVER be confident enough to flirt much less with anything possible#he also is literally the personification of loyalty he isn’t the type to do that anyway he finds one person and sticks to them#as seen with Tsukki and even yachi since it’s hinted he likes her (whom he NEVER FLIRTS WITH BTW)#he would not be sassy confident type to say ‘oh honey you are so fuxking dumb’#he’s a dick but he’s not a to the face dick he’s a behind the back dick. and he usually laughs at what Tsukki says not makes the comments#and he’d NEVER SAY HONEY LIKE THAT THATS JUST NOT HIM#AND HED NEVER FUCKING BE OBLIVIOUS TO HOW TSUKISHIMA FEELS TSUKKI IS HIS GUY HIS BESTEST FRIEND EVER#idc if it’s not a ship fic about them you have to understand no matter what they’re a set and they care about each other more than anyone#regardless of the type of relationship they will never be the types to not notice when the other is suffering#sorry. i am passionate about people mischaracterizing them
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
I know multiple of these are likely important to people, but I'm asking in terms of like - which of these do you tend to focus on the MOST, enjoy the most, that is most essential for you to actually care about the media, etc.?
(For example: someone finding "Relatability" most important would likely not enjoy a show much if they have trouble empathizing with the characters/relating to it, even if it were good otherwise. Or, someone might be able to overlook bad acting and ugly costumes, as long as the Character Dynamics are fun to them, because they value that more than Aesthetics- while for others, bad costumes would be a dealbreaker.)
Also feel free to reblog and explain your answer or more information in the tags- I've always been curious about people's relationships to media, how they conceptualize it/what they get out of it, how some people value some parts more than others, how that informs their overall taste and genres they may be more inclined towards, etc. :0c
#I was having a conversation with a friend about our favorite type of media and they said the reason they DON'T like historical or fantasy#media or etc. is because they can't imagine themselves being in those situations like it's too detached from anything that they can relate#to personally. they put themselves in the shoes of the characters and apparently like feel emotions while watching stuff and actually#get into the way the characters are feeling so they kind of judge how 'good' or 'bad' a show's writing/setting/etc. are by how it makes#them feel and if they think the characters reacted realistically based on what they were feeling in the moment/what in their head they#would be feeling if they were in the postion of the character. SO apparently the distance of it being in an unrelatable setting or too#detached from our reality makes it harder for them to relate to and less able to really engage with it on that level. WHEREAS I watch#things exclusively in a very like.. detached way?? I'm INTERESTED.. it's like im intellectually analyzing everyhting that's happening and#can be intrigued by events but it's not in an emotional way? More of like a distant 'intellectual curiosity'. Maybe the premise or the#aesthetics or something about it has piqued an interest for me to observe it. to see what it's like or how it plays out. how the idea#is executed or etc. But like.. I cannot remember EVER really relating to any character or situation or projecting onto a character#or having those sorts of feelings or investment in it. That is just not a central part of why/how I watch things or what I care about#BUT after this I was thinking maybe this is my disconnect? I do not seem to conceptualize media the way some other people do and I often#walk away with an entirely different take on things. etc. So I wonder if maybe it's part of how everyone values different things probably?#maybe I literally just watch stuff and percieve it from a different frame of mind that others. More of a like detached curiosity#vaguely bemused analysis mode. Instead of a 'I am deeply emotionally invested in this and am feeling for all the characters' mode#And also I bet people who care more about plot/story are also the people who mind spoilers. Whereas for me I literally seek out spoilers#intentionally because that element of 'suprise ooh what will happen next!' is not central at all to my enjoyment. I could know literally#everything that will happen and still can find it interesting to observe - since for me#that's not the point. I'd rather know the ending so I can determine whether I want to invest the time in it in the first place. etc.#ANYWAY!! If I had to choose - I would say I'm usually heavily focused on world details and aesthetics. With only a slight preference#towards characters individually being interesting. Group dynamics can sometimes be okay but I get tired of everything being about relations#hips and romance - especially when sometimes it seems to be like. people who could not stand on their own as a character/are fundamentally#boring otherwise lol. I would watch a series of just one guy locked in a closet talking to himself as long as he was interesting and saying#things that were amusing or notable for some reason lol. I actually tend to dislike plot because most 'plot heavy' things like action focus#ed shows ALWAYS feel to me like they're moving so fast just to get from one thing to another that I'm not getting enough details. Part of#why I tend to not like movies. the time limit makes them too quick. I need a 95 hour expostion dump of the history of the entire world#and a series of 17 episodes straight where a guy is trapped in a room & the audience is just psychoanalyzing him. hghj.. Maybe I find all#characters annoying/unrelatable bc people w my personality type make bad characters/are not often represented (or are done BADLY). so then#I'm just picking 'who is the LEAST insufferable? who could i study like a lab rat?' whilst my main focus is the worldbuilding&costumes lol
76 notes
·
View notes
Text
wayne family adventures going "we're gonna make an entire season about the joker and center literally everyone EXCEPT barbara and jason beyond the bare minimum" is certainly a choice and lemme just say, it is Not a fucking good one
#personal#anti wfa#for one i find it odd that a webtoon whose entire attraction was 'lil slice of life fluff pieces' is trying to do some dramatic arc#around the most amoral psychopath in batman's rogues gallery#for two why am i seeing a whole thing about bruce worried about fucking dick???? fucking DICK??????#barbara was shot and sexually assaulted in her own home and paralyzed for life!!!! jason was tortured and MURDERED!!! at fifteen!!!!#any joker centric arc needs to center them (and duke but they put some marginal effort into duke at least in the beginning)#i could give a shit about tim or steph or damian or dick in a joker arc they're not thematically important!!!#if you're going to do an arc that focuses in part on how the joker affects members of this family#(which they clearly are with the way bruce's storylines are turning out this season)#then it needs to focus on the characters for which the joker is thematically relevant because of the effect he's had on them in his actions#which would be BARBARA GORDON and JASON TODD#(i know someone on the art team said that dick was their favorite so is that it?)#(is that why i sat through panel after panel of 'oh let's focus on dick let's make this about dick' for no reason?)#(when the only interesting dick&joker connection is that time dick straight up beat him to death in jason's memory?)#(not like they'll remember that since they seem determined to rinse out jason and barbara from this whole thing my god i'm annoyed)
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
ugly maths.
i hate maths, right. i don't usually like numbers, and if i do like numbers it's gotta be an 8 or a 48 and nothing else.
thing is, i've recently caught myself doing maths again. ugly maths. the kind of maths that, really, i've been trying to avoid as much as possible because, well, it's ugly!
you... wanna see?
okay, fine... but don't say i didn't warn you!
ugly, see? look at all those numbers! not a 48 in sight!
huh? what's that? you don't see what i'm on about? oh... oh! hang on, lemme just—
better? yes? no? no? okay, what if i—
mmh, yes. ugly numbers. see it now? can you see why they're ugly?
here, i can make it worse.
these numbers are ugly. the maths they make me do is ugly.
now i'll level with you: the worst ones by far are the yellow numbers. the maths they make me do it the ugliest.
why ugly?
because it makes me ugly.
those numbers turn me into not only a suddenly number-obsessed fool, but a fool who also cannot understand these numbers and what they mean and why i feel like they reflect on me and my ability.
87, 75.
the thoughts are as follows:
• the orange numbers are big, so why are you being ugly about the yellow ones? you should be happy with what you have. so many nice big numbers! not everyone receives that.
• is it that there are two different audiences for these two different fics? perhaps. they are quite different works, with different appeals, and different themes. maybe you are reading too much into it.
• why are you obsessing over numbers anyway? you don't like maths! you left maths behind when you were 16, put it down!
okay, okay, fine! i'll put the maths down. right here, in fact!:
that 87 was an 83 at the start of the year. the 6161 it is attached to was a 5453.
4, 708.
ugly maths.
the 75 is a nice number. in fact, compared to 87, it is beautiful, radiant, enchanting. at the start of the year, 75 was 48. wow. now that is one sexy number!
27.
mmmm.
6161, 1061.
5100.
87, 75.
12.
mmmm.
you know, my most favourite comment left recently on a fic of mine was 2 characters long: :(
it made me :)
well, actually, it made me >:) because it was left in response, presumably, to one of the key scenes in a new chapter which left the exact impression on someone that i hoped it would.
they must be the only one who reacted like that, though.
1.
have i mentioned that that 87 and 75 include author responses?
i won't try to do more maths, there. it might not end well for me. the maths is making me tired enough as it is, and i have an early start tomorrow.
oh! but, that being said, i have another set of ugly numbers to show you, so keep 87 and 75 in mind.
ready?
838, 245.
(want a hint? the green numbers!)
838, 87. 245, 75.
9.6, 3.3.
ugly maths. it's ugly again, see? i don't like it. i'm seeing numbers within numbers within numbers, and i can't seem to stop!
the numbers make me ask new questions:
• why is it not good enough?
• people seem to engage more with one fic over the other, so shouldn't you prioritise?
• is all this maths this really good for you?
no, it isn't.
i want to avoid ugly maths. ugly maths makes me want to tear my hair out. it makes me want to start from scratch. it makes me want to grab someone and scream. it makes me want to cry and press a button that has tempted me many times before when the numbers become too ugly to bear.
ugly maths turn me into an ugly person.
ugly maths make me obsessive, paranoid, anxious, regretful, vindictive, spiteful, alone.
i hate maths. i hate numbers, just like, it feels, the numbers hate me.
#helia rants#cw vent#i'm okay but i'm not#this has been playing on my mind over the last couple of weeks#it's aimed at the sky rather than anyone here#i know i'm not the best myself as commenting. i justify it to myself by affirming i don't read much. which i don't.#since the start of the year i have tried to comment on everything i have read#bearing in mind i may also dm someone rather than comment because i want to scream and ramble about their fic more personally#that being said. i know i'm not the only one who finds themselves doing ugly maths#and in turn starting to feel uglier too#i don't like looking at the numbers#i was doing well at the start of the year#but as i open my drafts and look to a new chapter and at the notes i wrote#i can't stop myself from opening the fic. from seeing where it's at. from seeing if it's changed. from checking my inbox to see if...#if only...#what it's meant is that i've come to a point where a fic i loved has become exactly that: a fic i loved. past tense#the other fic is still a fic i love. but i know deep down that that is tied to the numbers too#i hate that this is what i've become#because i have tiny fics. fics with 50 hits and maybe 1 comment. and i love them. i still love them#but when it comes to the big ones. the multi-chapters. the hefty fics. after a point all i see are numbers#and those numbers have come to determine both my happiness and fulfilment as a writer#and so i am ugly. i am sad. i am pathetic.#and i don't know how to stop.#helia's stuff#this was meant to save back into my drafts. i was editing tags. tumblr decided it should post. so... so be it.#also this is not an attention thing if anyone dares go 'oh but you're a good writer uwu' i might do something we'll all regret#this is also not a 'ffs comment on my fics will you 😒' hell no#it's just about me. and my issue. and my unhealthy relationship with these fucking numbers.#gotta get this shit out of my head somehow :)
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
and i often get upset with myself for complaining and venting as much as i do, or also for being as anxious as i am, but given the circumstances that I live in, I do think realistically I am being ... incredibly "well-behaved", all things considered. i could be acting so much worse.
but i do still wish i weren't so ... [gestures vaguely at this whole mess] because it's off-putting for people! and understandably so! but i wish i could make friends!
#i have tried hard to be niceys to be around but things seem to be taking a fairly steep nosedive in my life circumstances#which is . so cruel. because i am trying so hard to get onto welfare right now. i'm desperately trying to carve out a life for myself#but life seems determined to kick me out of it. i would just... really like things to be easy. if i'm honest. it always is such a fight.#i want something to be soft and kind and easy. just one thing perhaps. but i have to create it for myself (thank you art thank you stories)#at least i can create i suppose !!! if i cannot find softness then i will make it myself! if i cannot find love then i will make it myself!#anyways. i feel bad for venting here as much as i do. i try to keep it to myself as much as i can but things just get so isolating often#and there is smth somewhat comforting to put it somewhere where someone may see it. i am alive i am here i exist. you know?#alright pack it up this is ridiculous. shut up shut up shut up you poetry obsessed freak lmfao get out of here w that shit#post cancelled everyone go home we're logging out again. this mfer cannot be trusted with a keyboard and internet access#not even tagging this one. fuck off with this shit jesus christ my guy. shut UPPPP#delete later by order of Chase for the love of fuck LMFAO. i ain't even reading all that holy shit dude#this one freak rly logs in to write the worlds most embarrassing post and then runs away again. LOG OFF AND CRY ABT IT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON#posting literally just bc this is so embarrassing that its funny. shut UP my guy.#sorry if there's a tw i should add but genuinely i cannot be bothered to read over this and find out lmfao#delete later PLEASE lmao
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi this is Not a request i just wanted to pop in and say Thank You for your rowanclaw posting bc i do genuinely love that guy and i’ve been focusing a lot on tawnyrowan in my fic but i have no critical thinking skills or braincells so i havent been able to dig into the Meat of his character yet
and you pointed out some stuff i hadn’t thought about!! i read avos recently but its been probably at least 5 years since i read anything else so memory?? no.
but i do love him <33 and i think sometimes about how the erins made him tawnypelt’s mate only bc they felt bad for misgendering him in the beginning and what would the world where that didn’t happen look like….hm but anyway
i will leave your inbox now sorry have a good day :)))
Hey there!! Thank-you so much for the kind words! I'm always keen to jot down my thoughts on Rowanclaw, because there's a lot of potential for both the past origins and the future/current actions of his character to be explored upon... neither of which the Erins ever really bother to look into because they're pretty clueless and careless with the cast of characters they already have. They're always keen to just chuck out characters that aren't main players so they can introduce new protagonists which, idk, its spoiled my enjoyment of the series to say the least. Because Rowanclaw definatley isn't the only example I can think of (hell even Tawnypelt kind of fits that discarded potential vibe.)
How exciting though! Good luck with getting your fic done, I'm happy for you to use some of my ramblings to help flesh out your portrayal of Rowanclaw if it helps! Have a RowanTawny blob as a good luck charm!
-- also secret Rowan + Tawny ramblings in the og tags if anyone is interested hee-hee
#wander-wren#cheez rambles#cheez answers#rowanclaw#rowanstar#tawnypelt#rowantawny#// even rowan + tawny have an interesting dynamic w how they both have this tortured yet determined personal relationship with Shadowclan#// and are both constantly trying to find a rocky footing to keep their pride pure when their clan has a murky past#// + their own relationships towards Shadowclan has this dark edge to it that they both cant quite shake#// I recall even Rowanclaw was VERY cruel and condescending to Tawnypelt early on when she was a recent warrior#// he didn't believe in her devotion to the clan because of her half blood and her closeness with Brambleclaw#// and you best believe im gonna interpret that as a mix of projecting his own insecurities on her/his resentment toward Tigerstar#// aka her father who did the exact same exploitative crap with his power like Brokenstar did#// but later on Rowan realising hey... why tf am i judging her for something she didn't do + we're more alike than i thought
54 notes
·
View notes
Text
mm i Neeed to go the beach
#just me hi#wauhuhh !#something about just drifting around in water that i am slightly scared of that really makes my brain whir happily lol :>#i am slightly scared of it for two major reasons: 1) fish. lord the fish why are they so scary 2) sometimes i think i'll drown and they jus#won't find the body. which is less rational than the fish so that's why fish is my number 1 fear at all times lmao#/i think out of all the animals on the planet i am the most scared of ordinary fish. not even the deep sea stuff hfbshv#cuz look they're so far down there you Have to assume they look funked. and also they prolly don't like human meat. so it's cool#but regular fish?? some of them eat birds. they eat birds dude. what would they do to me if they knew how to use harpoons??#also they for SURE eat corpses so we loop back to fear no. 2 really just being fear no. 1 hbfhs#/see i'm not even that scared of the animals my parents are determined on exploding. like man if i get eaten that was prolly bound#to happen anyway. i Know how that goes. i know what mauling is lol#i am the only person in this house who will walk around outside on a moonless light w/ no flashlight because if i was sposed to be dead i#can guaranteE there are much better opportunities. funnier ones‚ too#/just looked it up bobcats are SHY little guys. they are just shy babies. except for when they have rabies :)#shy rabies babies <3#/anyway back to the fish. i don't like how there are some that specifically like to eat human skin. mmm no i have never liked that ever not#one little bit. makes my skin crawl hghfsh#i don't care what it does or can do that is NOT cool lil dude ;w;#/hang on i'm googling 'weirdest things fish eat' because i want to scare myself i guess hbfhvbsf :'3#they're only showing me weird fish!!! no !! tell me about a fish that's living exclusively off of plastics!! or car tires !! come on !!!#these guys are just funky looking. and just Kinda funky looking. though this humphead guy is funny lol :)#he looks scary but with a charm that i can't deny#his forehead. and mouf. this guy is awesome#and of course he's endangered because the world is exploding. but it's so cool he exists :D#//anyway fish are scary. and miss humphead is Huge so goofiness aside he's also scary hhfbvs#also why do some of those motherfunkers swim close to shore and bite at you. those guys suck so bad#that's only happened to me so many times but enough for me to have a fear that has lasted for over half a decade lmao#//and anywho i'm running out of tag space lol :)#we're going ot the park!! i'm going to skate :DD !!#i wanna get good at my old stuff again hfsh - so bye! bye !! toodles !!!
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
ben platt was so right when he said (to paraphrase) your heart can break so much that it breaks open and lets love in. that's 2023 to me baby.
#experienced Real grief and heartbreak for the first time in my life#lived alone for most of the year and really Grew Up because of it#lost the three people i was closest with and lost the person i became for them to love me (which is a good thing)#learned a lot about art and life and myself and what it means to Be Alive.#was this year objectively bad for me??? look at all my personal posts honey.#but i feel like i've Grown so much and i'm really proud of myself not Despite everything that happened but because of it#i'm not ashamed to have loved and made choices and to have been wrong about So Many Things!!! i am so young and always learning!!!#i feel like Myself for the first time in Years. and for the first time since i can remember i genuinely feel Fine.#a lot of things are bad and i have bad days (today was one of them) but!!! i am hopeful and i am Determined to survive and be happy.#i do not have to be great!!! i do not have to be good!!! i simply have to be and that is enough!!!#one thing i said this year that haunts me is when the person i was in love with told me i was being silly for having a panic attack#and i responded with 'why should i feel silly for experiencing true emotion?'. and that's just really guided me since i said it.#ANYWAYS. insane year for me. this time last year i was madly in love and denying So Much and this year i am Accepting and loving what i have#this has been the return of isaac's insane personal posts. which are happening So Much Less due to the healing but hey!! we ball!!#i love you friends who live in my phone <3 if you're still reading happy new year and may you find whatever you're searching for <3
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
bye i’m so mad and frustrated
#i hate writing a scene and then realizing that i didn’t hit my expected wordcount#i like writing things in one go#and now i have to go back and read and find places to add things#i’m very particular about word counts#i am going to bed#tomorrow i am getting up early to finish crim readings. i shall do torts and property between classes#and then i shall get home and write some more#i have not decided yet if i’ll continue on heliotropes or my personal project though#that will have to be determined by the music i pick to listen on my walks tomorrow#but goodnight
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
anyway I am still standing by our original quote from December that was like "either it's going to be a good year, or I'm going to find a way to make it one even if I have to claw my way through it kicking and screaming" and clearly it's gonna be the latter but luckily we find spite incredibly motivating and the worse we feel the more spiteful we get 👍
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#Lucy's motto in college was basically ''even if you can't access any other emotion you can probably feel spite and that's more than enough'#and you know what? they were right. you can get a lot done out of spite#it does mean I'm in a very weird state though where it's like wow I'm constantly overwhelmed and exhausted#and everything is shit but I also am determined to both survive and have a good time#like I will be having a breakdown while being like ''fuck you I'm going to find a way to enjoy myself''#and that often happens once we reach a specific stress level where it feels like we're at breaking point but the stress becomes motivating?#which is why you'll often see me venting more and more for a while#before suddenly being like ''anyway this is all the stuff I'm gonna do to fix our mental health and drag myself out of this hole''
1 note
·
View note