#but i also love salt because it's weird‚ i like the sound better‚ and it has more of a furry name vibe

[surlifen]

new sona ref at long last! and I named him finally (sort of) (was stuck between two so I've uploaded different versions of the ref in different places LMAO)

just in time for artfight teehee

[itoshiexx]

mi vida

synopsis: sae never thought someone could become his life, but that changed when you came.

pairing: itoshi sae x gn!reader | words: 749 | warnings: established relationship, fluff

notes: welcome back to "things i wrote on a whim when my boss wasn't at the office"!! apparently i write a lot better in english without much planning, so yeah. this idea came to me based on a personal experience, since i call my boyfriend "minha vida" (which is the same for "mi vida"/"my life" in portuguese) and i never really thought i could consider someone to be my life before him.

i really really hope you like it, and i wanna thank you all so much for all the love you've given to Unworthy (but chosen), every note and follower made me super happy! <3

and also, i'm so sorry if my description of the spanish culture is not accurate and for any english mistakes!

during his time in spain, sae learned a lot of things. mainly, how to improve his soccer career even more, striving to become the best in the world after already being the best in his country. 

he was a genius, of course, so it wasn’t really hard to learn the language or get acquainted with the city of madrid, which was a lot warmer than japan — in many ways. however, it was really fucking hard to get used to the customs of the spanish people and its culture, considering it was so different from the japanese. they were extremely welcome, and sae was anything but. if anything, he was even more closed than typical japanese people. 

in spain, people were always greeting each other with a kiss on each cheek, showing off bright smiles and making conversation with strangers. friends talked loudly among each other, giving hugs and always touching somehow. the concept of personal space? totally nonexistent. in short, it was weird. 

but nothing was weirder than couples. 

the concept of love was already foreign to sae. he didn’t understand how a feeling could envelop one so much and make it forget about the rest of the world. he didn’t know how such an abstract thing, with no sense of logic whatsoever, could be so overwhelming to the point of taking one’s life completely, until all you could see, think and feel was your significant other.

most of all, he couldn’t fathom how someone could become your life. 

“te amo, mi vida,” was what he used to hear an old couple say to each other. they were the owners of sae’s favorite restaurant, a small little place in the suburbs of Madrid, and always treated him with a kindness he didn’t deemed himself worthy of. 

at first, he wasn’t able to comprehend what the sentence meant. he could barely write it on google translate to try to get its meaning, and he didn’t really care enough. though, as the time went by and sae became more fond of the couple, he eventually gathered the courage to ask the woman about it. and he was very surprised to hear the answer. 

“it means ‘i love you, my life’,” she said, smiling from ear to ear and handing a glass of salted kombucha tea to sae. it was one of the reasons he adored the place so much — it was the only restaurant he found that served his favorite drink. 

the older itoshi could only stare, dumbfounded, and mumble, “…why?”

the woman laughed at the boy’s naiveté. “why, you ask? because that’s what he is to me.” 

sae only stared in silence, too stunned to speak.

“i… i don’t understand,” he confessed. it sounded silly, and kind of pathetic, but at that moment he didn’t really care. the woman gave another smile, this time an understanding countenance, and placed her wrinkly hand on his shoulder. 

“you will understand one day, boy. and when your person comes, make sure to bring them here, right? i’d like to meet them!” 

the soccer player wanted to tell her that it would never happen. that the itoshi sae had no time for foolish things like love, and he most certainly would never love someone so much to the point of seeing them as his life. his life was soccer, and his goal was to become the best in the world. 

there was nothing else. 

oh, how he bit his tongue. 

it was at the age of twenty two when he entered the restaurant once again, and this time, not alone. you were walking by his side, with your hand intertwined in his, chatting excitedly while he just listened. a small smile was on his face, and his features were impossibly soft, in a way they only got around you. 

you, who were light in the darkness, who were comfort after a long day of practice, who was the one he loved most. you, who was the definition of home in every sense of the word. the only one that could make his heart swell so much it made it hard to breathe. 

he pulled your chair for you to sit like a true gentleman, and sat right next to you, always in need to touch you somehow. a hand was placed on your thigh while the other one opened the menu. and he turned to you, voice gentle like you could break:

“so, what would you like, mi vida?”

you, who was his life.

© 2023 itoshiexx. do not plagarise, translate, or repost any of my work on here or other sites.

[cloudshuffle]

first meetings. yan!boothill

nobility au

"Howdy!"

The man who doffs his hat at you is tall, even taller still than the professor and some of the guards you've seen around the palace, but lanky. With his dusty boots and hat, your impression of him is somewhat of a wild dog.

You don't know who he is.

You drop into a curtsy. A senator? Another noble who you were introduced to and forgot? You glance at your handmaiden for help, but she just shakes her head very slightly in response.

"Oh, what a polite lil' lady you are." He pauses to sweep his hat off his head and bow low in return. "Say, do you know where I can find the prince round these parts? Or his butler. You know, the weird blue one..."

"Aventurine? I mean, Prince Aventurine?" You have to correct yourself so quickly that you don't have time to laugh at 'weird blue one'. "He's..."

You give him a more careful once over. Surely he can't be a noble, or Jenna would have told you. The stranger has curious red eyes, shark's teeth, and a carefree air that you'd never catch anyone worth their salt in the palace dead with. But if not someone important, why else would he be looking for Aventurine with such confidence?

He seems to also be giving you a similar appraisal, because a different sort of smile graces his lips.

"'s alright if you can't say, missus." He leans in cheekily. "It's not always princes protecting their princesses, eh?"

"Perhaps an introduction might be in order," you reply firmly, refusing to lean away. So he's those types. "I might be able to help you better then."

He barks out a startling laugh and backs off. "And sharp! Always a good quality for a princess to have. My apologies, my lady. I'm Boothill. Jus' a lowly bounty hunter trying to locate my employer. See here, I've got a letter from the prince himself."

He bows again, and you follow, albeit reluctantly, and introduce yourself in turn, though you get the feeling he's already figured out who you are.

The letter does indeed have Aventurine's seal on it; down to the weight of the paper and the ink he uses (To whom it may concern, he's scrawled on the front), but Boothill pinches it away before you can inspect it any further. "Legit, ain't it?"

What kind of a name is Boothill? you think privately to yourself. "It is... legitimate, yes."

Boothill blinks innocently at you like he hadn't just tracked mud into the halls, and you relent. "I don't know where the prince is, but I'm sure we could find someone to help you."

"'bout high time." He grins, taking the bite out of his words.

You turn and start walking, and Boothill keeps up with you easily with long, languid strides. "Say, while we're at it, what say we nab something to eat? Been wandering around this ol' place all morning with no breakfast or nothin'."

"You could have stopped any one of the maids or the guards," you tell him levelly. "I'm sure someone could have helped you."

When Boothill doesn't reply, you look up at him. He has a wild grin on his face.

"Funny how I was galivanting round the place and the guards didn't notice me, huh? Ain'tcha curious 'bout me?"

You were, in fact. "I'm afraid I'm not in the habit of asking questions I don't want the answers to," you tell him instead.

Boothill shrugs, but something tells you your answer had pleased him. "Smart girl."

"My lady!"

The voice from behind sounds slightly out of breath and very familiar. Both of you turn to see Sunday, taking big, huffy strides down the hallway toward you.

"Mister Sunday!" You give him a cheerful wave. "We were just looking for you, actually. Boothill was looking for the prince."

"Howdy." Boothill doffs his hat again. "So you're the famed butler round these parts, eh? Lucky I found a lovely lil' lady to help me out."

Sunday gives him a strained smile, before turning to you. "Thank you for assisting our guest, my lady, but I shall handle him from here. Don't you have lessons to attend?"

[strawberry-jan]

Back in late 2022, I started working on a long story about Ishin: a tale of two dummies whose weird one-night stand blossoms into a surprisingly caring relationship even as a (mostly) canon-compliant series of tragedies plays out around them. It’s a now-complete series in approximately 125,000 words and three parts, and you can read the whole thing right now on AO3: The Glorious and Bloody Deeds of Okita Soji, Volume 1: Okita Soji Versus the Scoundrel Saito Hajime; The Secret History of Saito Hajime, Volume 2: The Shiraume Incident; and, finally, Brief Notes on the Domestic Life of one Saito Hajime.

Taken as a whole, it's a story about identity and history and the stories that people tell each other and themselves about those things. And it's a story about one guy getting way too into weird Edo-era egg dishes, and another guy finding himself embroiled in an extended detective sequence, and a third guy composing a series of corny haiku that (almost) nobody wants to read. And, of course, it's also a story about people who are shamelessly and sometimes explicitly in love (so you probably shouldn't read it at work).

This whole big, sprawling thing has been a labour of love on my part: it turns out that I adore writing historical fiction and finding excuses to read books and journal articles in order to write it better. In addition to making not one but four little illustrations to celebrate the fic's completion (and please look at them up-close; I hand-inked all those kimono patterns), I've drawn up a list of some of the sources that I consulted for my writing, and you can find those under the cut.

This is not an absolutely exhaustive list of sources; I don’t think it’s super useful to catalogue the extremely nitty-gritty stuff, like that time that I felt compelled to find out what the state of strawberry cultivation was in 1860s Japan, or when I needed to picture exactly what it looked like when Haruka was repairing Ryoma’s kimono. That being said, I’ve added a couple of things that are really particular to my stories but that I thought were cool enough to share.

Foster, Michael Dylan. The Book of Yokai: Mysterious Creatures of Japanese Folklore. U of California P, 2015. (This one was a really fun read – it combines a short history of yokai in folklore with a little catalogue of yokai.)

Jansen, Marius B. Sakamoto Ryoma and the Meiji Restoration. Stanford UP, 1971. (Super useful as an introduction to the Bakumatsu era and for biographical details about Ryoma and the figures around him.)

“Japanese Wiki Corpus.” https://www.japanesewiki.com/. (This is a machine-translated collection of articles on the Japanese side of Wikipedia related to Kyoto. As with a lot of things on Wikipedia, the citations on these articles tend to be poor or nonexistent, but it’s a useful starting point for information on figures and events that don’t have an English wiki equivalent. Definitely more useful if you can then head over to the original wiki articles and parse them out yourself.)

“Kabuki21” and “The Noh.” https://www.kabuki21.com/section.php, https://www.the-noh.com/en/plays/index.html. (I’m lumping these two together because I tended to consult them in tandem. Without getting too much into my personal details I am – among other things – a non-practicing theatre scholar, so whenever I wanted to have characters in my old-timey fics refer to something cultural, my first stop was old plays. These sites have, respectively, summaries of kabuki plays and full texts of Noh plays available for you to browse. If you’ve read my other fics you will probably have seen that I referred to the kabuki play “Fuwa” in 亀が如く.)

Katsu, Kokichi. Musui’s Story: The Autobiography of a Tokugawa Samurai. Translated by Teruko Craig. U of Arizona P, 1988. (A book that needs to be taken with a grain of salt because it’s an autobiography written by a guy who sounds like a real blowhard, but it’s still a really fascinating look into the daily life of a low-ranking samurai.)

Leupp, Gary P. and Tao, De-min. The Tokugawa World. Routledge, 2022. (Of particular interest is Kimura Sachihiko’s essay, “The Shinsengumi: Shadows and light in the last days of the Tokugawa shogunate” [1104-1124], which gave me a bunch of incidental details about the Roshigumi that I incorporated into the sections of this series that were told from Inoue and Hijikata’s perspectives.)

“Old Photos of Japan.” https://www.oldphotosjapan.com/. (Pretty self-explanatory. Very useful as a resource for picturing scenes!)

“Shinsengumi Archives.” https://shinsengumi-archives.tumblr.com/. (A long-running tumblr dedicated to cataloguing resources about the Shinsengumi. There’s an absolute wealth of information collected here, and best of all, the creator cites their sources and even provides links to the original texts. Although it’s focused on the Shinsengumi, it’s impossible to overstate how useful this site is for prospective Bakumatsu-era fic writers in general. The collection of Hijikata’s poems with links to others’ translations and commentary is here: https://shinsengumi-archives.tumblr.com/post/683071924948058112/hijikata-toshizos-haiku-poems. The creator of the blog also links to a translation of Nagakura’s and Shimada’s diaries, and while the document is machine-translated, it’s still a great source of historical details: https://shinsengumi-archives.tumblr.com/post/678083336614428672/where-can-you-read-the-memoirs.)

Smits, Gregory. “Warding off Calamity in Japan: A Comparison of the 1855 Catfish Prints and the 1862 Measles Prints.” EASTM 30 (2009): 9-31. (Okay, this one is highly specific to my fic – it comes up in Part 2 when Okita tells his story about Kashima and again a couple of chapters later when his pile of remedies includes a crudely-drawn picture meant to ward off indigestion – but I love little details like this so I did want to make a point of sharing it here.)

“Tamago Hyakuchin” and “Tofu Hyakuchin.” http://codh.rois.ac.jp/edo-cooking/tamago-hyakuchin/recipe/, https://toyama-tofu.jp/tofuhyakutin.html. (These are collections of Edo-era egg- and tofu-based recipes. They’re two of the sources cited in Cookpad’s collection of modernized Edo-era recipes: https://cookpad.com/recipe/list/14604664.)

Vaporis, Constantine N. “Linking the Realm: The Gokaido Highway Network in Early Modern Japan (1603-1868).” Highways, Byways and Road Systems in the Pre-Modern World. Ed. Susan E. Alcock, John Bodel, and Richard J. A. Talbert. Wiley-Blackwell, 2012. 90-105. (Some of the works cited in this article also sound interesting, but I didn’t have a chance to dig any deeper as I just wanted to know a bit about the Tokugawa-era roads. Also interesting in this vein is Jilly Traganou’s book The Tokaido Road: Travelling and Representation in Edo and Meiji Japan [2004].)

Wert, Michael. Meiji Restoration Losers. Harvard UP, 2013. (Not directly useful as a source for writing about Ishin – it’s about later events and it mostly tracks the posthumous construction of one specific Tokugawa magistrate’s history – but it was an engaging read and I found it interesting as an exploration of how people continue to look back on the Bakumatsu era and the Meiji Restoration, which is something that the game is, of course, also doing.)

Yamakawa, Kikue. Women of the Mito Domain: Recollections of Samurai Family Life. Translated by Kate Wildman Nakai. U of Tokyo P, 1992. (Another one of those bits of essential reading on everyday life for low-ranking samurai, this time with a focus on women’s lives and households more generally. I didn’t use a lot of from this book in my fic, but it has everything from translations of songs to records of families’ financial transactions, and it’s fascinating to read about all the turmoil in Mito playing out in the background of these families’ lives.)

“Yokai.com.” https://yokai.com/. (The creators of this site make a point of not going into detail about their sources, and they’re very careful to state that they don’t intend for the project to be “the final authority” on yokai, but I enjoyed browsing the site to get some ideas for Okita’s stories – and once you know the name of a particular yokai that you’re interested in, it’s easy enough to go look up other sources on them.)

[certifiedsexed]

hello!! thank you for opening your asks, I appreciate it! I really really appreciate your blog and all its resources so much.

recently I took a picture from behind of bending over and spreading my bum cheeks. (gosh that’s weird to say but it’s needed explanation I think haha).

one thing weird was it looked like I have some kind of? additional thing above my anus? Like there’s the line of genitals and stuff and then there was just an extra dot or something, I couldn’t really see, above it, and it has the same different colour of skin + more hair around it as other parts. it could just be a pimple or something, but it was strange / noteworthy / confusing because of how the hair + skin colour followed it like it was another piece of anatomy. I really hope this explanation makes sense. 😅

anyway, I’m wondering what the heck that could be? for context, I am an AFAB person with a vulva (although I may be intersex, I’m not sure), and I’m on testosterone HRT.

thank you!!!!!

Hey!! Always love answering questions, so no problem! I'm so glad you're enjoying it, I really love doing this and its helped me so much, so to know other people are getting something out of it as well is wonderful.

Now. You're definitely right that it could be a pimple! Or even just a scar from a pimple. But [and take this with a grain of salt], you might want to get it checked out in case it's a pilonidal cyst. If it's swollen and/or kinda like a dimple, especially.

They're cysts that form specifically around the crease of your ass and they're actually very common.

They're not contagious or generally fatal but if you can, getting them checked out is a good idea because while they CAN go away on their own, they can also become a chronic condition or get severely infected. [More info here and here.]

Not guaranteeing that's what you're dealing with! I'm actually not sure what you've got going on but it does sound kinda like a cyst, so I thought I'd mention it.

If it's not a cyst or a pimple/scar, I'm not sure exactly what it is but I'd definitely try to take another picture to get a better look and test if it's sensitive and/or painful.

Painful is a "get this checked out" sign, just sensitive is a "you can probably wait and see if this becomes a pimple".

Not sure how much this helps because, ngl, this is a little out of my area of expertise but I hope something here helps! Let me know if you have any other questions. <3

[cure-icy-writes]

Ghost from Hollow Knight is disabled, and here's why

Obligatory disclaimer, of course, that this is just a theory. It may not even be what the creators intended! But it’s special to me, which is why I want to share if. And I think that a well crafted theory with textual evidence is far better than any inflammatory thumbnail by a YouTuber with enough charisma to overcome his utter lack of reading comprehension. 

So, to start, I’ll explain the particular disability. Put simply, being filled with the primordial darkness soup has detrimental effects on one’s health. It takes the place of blood, but it’s more viscous, which means that the heart is constantly working overtime just to pump it properly. 

So, what are the symptoms of this? Well, the most prominent one is this: Ghost is able to fully recover their health simply by sitting on a bench. If you’re wondering how that could possibly be linked to a heart condition, it’s actually based on my own experiences with POTS, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. It’s a health condition that’s affectionately known as “can’t fucking stand disorder” or less affectionately known as other, more explicit things when it’s causing me trouble. 

To get personal about my experience with POTS: I get dizzy standing up, or standing too long. I use a cane to support myself, and I need to drink what amounts to salt water to raise my blood volume. The blood volume is important, for reasons I’ll get into later. 

So, on the surface level: they’re disabled because they need benches to recover. But bear with me, because I think it goes a little deeper and a little weirder. Here’s my theory.

Ghost was intended to be invincible. They don’t take contact damage. Every time they take damage, it’s actually just them flinching and their heart rate increasing.

I know, it sounds insane, but I promise that there is evidence to support this. The first piece is the Pale King’s ambition. He created everyone in the dead baby pit to be invincible, right? The perfect vessel to seal away the Radiance, no voice to cry suffering. But then we also know that the Hollow Knight themself wasn’t perfect. They were weak specifically because they wanted to be loved. They were weak because they had a heart, they had emotions, because their traitorous heart pumped blood too fast and it made them vulnerable, because they felt fear. It’s poetic, in a sense.

Diversity Loss! The dead baby pit created in a fruitless effort to save the remnants of a crumbling kingdom is made up of disabled bugs who were subject to a fuckshit eugenics experiment, yippee!

Another interesting piece of supporting evidence is the existence of Lifeblood. The heretic Joni pioneered its use, and there’s some weird implications that maybe this wasn't the best idea, but hear me out for a second. What if it’s literally increasing blood volume of our protagonist to give them some protection from the symptoms of what is effectively a goopy heart disease? The name is quite literal, actually.

The final piece of evidence? Look at the effects of the Fury of the Fallen charm. This one is like adrenaline overdose, complete with pulsing visual effects meant to set you on edge. While this charm is equipped, the knight won't even perform their idle animations. It's a small thing, but I think it is definitely meant to indicate that they're too pumped with adrenaline to have the focus to do this little things. All of that energy is dedicated towards not losing control, one way or another.

Overall, like I said. It’s not something I can prove, but it is backed up by some canon evidence. And it adds to the tragedy, I think, of a scared bug with a bleeding heart.

[misty--nights]

And finally, episode 8. This rewatch has been fun. It really forced me to pay attention to the details and I’ve found so many interesting thing I’d missed before. I think by now it’s more than safe to say that this has become one of my absolute favorite shows, and I can’t wait for my brain to insist I should watch it yet again.

Edwin's reaction feels so fair to me. I also did a double take the first time I saw Crystal swallow the memories. Love that Charles is trying to be supportive and stuff, but I agree with Edwin on this one. Those things are so big, how is your first instinct to swallow then whole?

Charles' face when Crystal is explaining her name is kind of similar to the one he has in episode 3 and 5 when Niko is doing something amusing. It's a mixture of endeared and a little baffled that I find so charming

Can Esther understand Monty in crow form or is she just pretending to have conversations with him like how you do with pets? Honestly, I'm not sure which one would be better. Both options have a lot of potential

Someone please give Crystal a hug. Or two. The way her voice breaks when she's talking to her parents, how her eyes get dimmer and dimmer the more she realizes that they suck and didn't miss her, how she sounds when she tells the boys about it, ugh. It breaks my heart

Back to another intro detail, but doesn't the surface of the mirror the skelletons go through kind of look like the mirror Charles sees himself in in episode 7. Like the frame is different, but the surface with the grid lines reminds me of the one in hell

I love the rooftop scene so much. Edwin and Niko have such a precious friendship and I wish we had even more of them interacting. Now I know I've seen people mention how Edwin is so comfortable with Niko's touch and how ge lets her cuddle up to him in that scene. But also, up until this point we haven't seen him truly iniciate touch with others (besides Charles) but he bumps Niko's shoulder when he's joking about Monty and offers her his hand to take. I just think that's neat

Crystal looks tiny next to Niko when they're talking to Jenny

"The whole thing was such a mystery" and "no rest for the wicked". The tone the officer uses for these lines? Chilling. I'm telling you, there's something weird about the people in town at times and the Port Townsend police are walking a line btween purposefully useless and downright sinister

There's something to be said about Crystal offering to wipe Jenny's memories, if she wants. We've followed her the whole season trying to get her own memories back, so it's huge that she's willing to take someone else's if that could help. Because she cares about Jenny, in that same, quiet way that Jenny cares about her and Niko. Also the way she emphasizes that she can take the memories only if Jenny wants that is actually so important to me

For some reason I always assume the girls are going to hold hands in that scene where they're looking for the Cat King and Crystal gives Niko her cleaver back. Even though this is the third time I watch it, I always expect it, and I'm always a little disappointed when all Crystal does is change what hand is holding her own cleaver

Not to question old dark magic or anything, but I am so curious as to how Esther's snake works. Did she already have the snake? Did she find it and make a pact with it? How does it transform little girls into youth for Esther? Also, the Cat King calls it Esther's snake, but then later on Esther says "I never thought I'd be eating kids to stay young and beautiful" so I don't know. Many questions about this

Tragic Mick makes a point of saying the bear figure is a gift and is on him, but the girls very much leave the store without paying for the salt so... Two gifts?

Niko keeps insisting she's not brave, but she was ready to charge into Esther's house after hearing Edwin's scream

Litty and Kingham's coats in the igloo have a dandelion decoration on the chest

[alivingroomatthebottomofalake]

100 Great Albums from 2024.

OK…

I listened to a lot of music this year, and I am not going to prattle on about it all this time because there's too much. These are the albums that came out this year that I really liked. They aren't in a specific order, but they are in a general order (closer to the top just means I listened to it more often, or responded enthusiastically/felt really strongly about it). I have been doing a lot of radio this year, and so I've listened to so much music. It's not trying to be a definitive top 100 list, I am sure I missed some gems, but these are things I personally liked. Then there are some special mentions at the end that include some reissues that include some reworked/additional material, and some compilations/live albums as well. Genres are all over the place, from heavy to light to weird to weirder. Check things out and enjoy the adventure.

Muuntautuja by Oranssi Pazuzu

Dreaming the Strife for Love by Bedsore

Absolute Elsewhere by Blood Incantation

Impossible Light by Uboa

Lives Outgrown by Beth Gibbons

Red Hot & Ra - The Magic City by Meshell Ndegeocello

COEXISTENCE by Johanna Elina Sulkunen

13" Frank Beltrame Italian Stiletto with Bison Horn Grips by Xiu Xiu

Coagulated Bliss by Full of Hell

Orchards of a Futile Heaven by The Body & Dis Fig

The Healer by Sumac

Scope Neglect by Ben Frost

I Saw the TV Glow by Various/Alex G

Maxxxine by Tyler Bates

The Substance by Raffertie

Colour by Material Object

NONAGE by Li Yilei

Delight by Arushi Jain

RECESSED DRAUGHTING by Robert Aiki Aubrey Lowe

NATI INFINITI by Alessandro Cortini

Much Unseen Is Also Here by Lustmord

Mosaic by Fennesz

Generative Etudes Vol 2​.​1 by Matthew Ryals

Nidar Effigy by Althru

MANTRA by Diploid

Cutting the Throat of God by Ulcerate

Emerald Fires Atop The Farewell Mountains by COSMIC PUTREFACTION

The Great Bailout (Deluxe) by Moor Mother

Vajranala by Senyawa

The love it took to leave you by Colin Stetson

Cellophane Memories by Chrystabell & David Lynch

NRTYA by SAICOBAB

Black Blues by Keiji Haino

Disconnect by KRM & KMRU

The Light is Real by Thollem, Terry Riley, Nels Cline

Chytridiomycosis Relinquished by Slimelord

Cool World by Chat Pile

You Could Do It Tonight by Couch Slut

Highly Irresponsible by Better Lovers

The Head As Form​’​d In The Crier​’​s Choir by Sarah Davachi

with my back to the world by Teeth dreams

Chroma by Loscil // Lawrence English

Argot by Passepartout Duo

Farm Psychedelia I & II by eucademix

Placenta by Carlos Niño & Friends

Spectral Evolution by Rafael Toral

Paloma Wind by EVA-MARIA HOUBEN + JOHN HUDAK

Arise in Sinking Feelings by PINKCOURTESYPHONE

September 23rd by William Basinski

Two Verses by Mark Templeton

Outer Spaceways Incorporated : Kronos Quartet & Friends Meet Sun Ra by Red Hot Org

The Copyrite of Spring by Buttress O’Kneel

marked by Klein

Bearings: Soundtracks for the Bardos by Ka Baird

Elden Ring Shadow of the Erdtree by Various

Black myth wukong by Zhai JinYan

UFO 50 by Eirik Suhrke

Idea Man by David Flemming

Natur by KMRU

Sharqan Hatta Al Maut - 4 by Firas Shehadeh

Harmony / Balance by Ibukun Sunday

Radio Yugawara by Passepartout Duo and Inoyama Land

In - Tran - Situ by babyxxan

Dulcitone 1804 by Nightports w/ Matthew Bourne

The sound of flowers by Daniel O’Toole

Dawn by Raymond Haddad

Horror Vacui by 9T Antiope

Halki pilvien by Tomutonttu

Standstill by Disasterpeace

Challengers by Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross

Nautnir þrj​á​r by Guðmundur Arnalds

Space As An Instrument by Félicia Atkinson

The Itself of Itself by Bass Communion

Instability of the Signal by Simon Fisher Turner

D​Ý​RA by SHHE

Salt And Sugar Look The Same by Tim Koh / Sun An

Aurora Liminalis by William Basinski + Richard Chartier

On Leaving by RICHARD CHARTIER

Lambda by ZULI

Face to Face, Day by Day by ACT!

Endlessness by Nala Sinephro

For Barney, Who Was A Bad Dog, But A Good Boy, And Very Much Loved. by Dekalb Works

Anatomical Heart by Erik Griswold, Chloe Kim, Helen Svoboda

Talitakum by Avalanche Kaito

Giant Beauty by أحمد [Ahmed]

Let Us Descend by Francesco Leali

Peurakaira by Maja S. K. Ratkje/Marte Ingeborg Haltli/Frida Helene Haltli

Turzets by James Rushford

Music For A Bellowing Room by Sarah Davachi and Dicky Bahto

MUNDANAS VII​-​XI by John McCowen

Eleven Fugues For Sodium Pentothal by Adam Wiltzie

Social Engineering by Jan Jelinek

Suite For The Drains by Lisa Lerkenfeldt

Princ​€​ss by Princ€ss

Ataque Mental by Interzona

Crises Trilogy by Darlene

Ag Titim by Anocht

Material by Connor D'Netto

Special mentions (compilations/live albums/reissues)

Disposable Heroes of Hit Em by Various

Blue and yellow through Black and Grey by Various

Special versions - Live at ACCA, Brighton by Colleen

Hear the Machine #4 by serene ailment

Alley of the Sun by Various

Vile Luxury - Redux 1924 (24​-​bit HD audio) by Imperial Triumphant

plexure '24 by plunderphonics

Selected Ambient Works Volume II (Expanded Edition) by Aphex Twin

[danlous]

mmm that rolin quote about louis doesn’t sound good tbh, this is gonna be only lestat show from now on just like the books, they are even lowering the expectations in the loustat of it all imo, it makes sense in a way, but this is what I was fearing and it’s happening, Jacob and Sam are also less all in with them i think, it contradicts what Sam said to Autumn the other day but yeah it’s not looking good for Jacob.

Answering these together because i feel they're kind of in the same vein. I've read a shitton of interviews today and they're getting mixed in my mind but i don't remember that part about other writers not liking the change right now. I think him saying that they're not going to show what happened between Armand and Daniel was probably a joke especially when the transcript says he laughed after that. Rolin has said he loves Devil's Minion and i don't think he'd want to excise so pivotal scenes with them. I think it's too early to say anything about what is going to happen with Armand's character.

Wrt Louis i'm not worried about him being completely sidelined like in the books and even less worried about loustat's importance being reduced, because everyone involved with this show is obsessed with loustat and that relationship is the heart of the story. What i'm slightly worried about is Louis' own perspective and character arc getting lost with the increasing focus on Lestat and him becoming a character whose main purpose is to support Lestat's story and be his love interest. However i think it's too hasty to draw a conclusion like that from one or two interviews when we have many interviews - plus the show itself - saying other things.

I was in Supernatural fandom for 7 years (awful experience. wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.) and there was a common saying "PR is not showrunning". That means that everything related to promotion (which includes all interviews and public appearances by cast and writers) should be taken as exactly that, promotion, and not as a direct reflection what the show is actually doing. Promotion is aimed at specific subsets of audience or potential audience or producers or investors and is meant to advance specific goals. Different outlets get different interviews and content. Actors, writers, directors and producers frequently have different opinions with each other. They also often contradict themselves and might have really surpising interpretations. Interviews are often heavily edited, sometimes flat out misrepresented, and the tone and other more subtle things don't translate well in written text. People creating fiction for living are also suprisingly often really bad at expressing themselves and say some stupid or weird shit sometimes. All this is to say, everything related to promotion should be taken with a grain of salt, both things we like and dislike.

I was waiting to read interviews after finale because i thought they would make me understand better the decisions that were made, but i've just kind of gotten more confused the more i read. Lots of these interviews seem to contradict each other or what was seen in the show itself, or both, and i feel some of the cast members are slightly confused themselves. That made me remember that spn adage and realize that i really shouldn't be relying on dozens of interviews published immediately after finale to figure out what the show is trying to say or what are the future plans for the season that hasn't been even written yet. We simply have no way of knowing what's going to happen right now. Perhaps Rolin & co aren't sure either (i get an impression that Sam and Assad aren't sure what their characters' motivations were meant to be, though again, they could be just playing coy). We know that the network has strongly pushed Lestat's prominence, and that could be why Rolin is also pushing it in some of those interviews. Or it could be that whenever he promised that Louis would remain important it wasn't entirely genuine. We don't know at this point.

Even though you can't take pr at face value, patterns in it can tell something when considered together with the story. For example, everything combined that has been said in interviews from the cast and writers over the past few years and constantly putting Eric and Assad and Luke together in interviews strongly indicates that the relationship between Armand and Daniel in the show is considered important. The first two seasons have centered black characters and made race and racism a very integral part of the story, and the writers and other cast members have been constantly talking about Louis' and Jacob's importance. This makes me think this show most likely isn't going to suddenly sideline black and other characters of color for a white man and forget the racial aspect of the story.

This has been a super long-winded way to say that after considering i'm leaning more towards those specific quotes being poorly phrased outliers that don't necessarily tell us much about what s3 (and seasons after it) and different characters' roles will be like. I think i need to wait until we have much more info before forming any opinions. If the show continues to be great, great, if it sucks and becomes just a lestat fest, then i won't watch it. I'm trying not to worry about it too much now because i'll just end up making myself stressed over hypotheticals and things i can't influence

[rel124c41]

I suck horribly at actually talking to people but I NEED to make it known how much I've loved and enjoyed your jade fics!!! Every single one has been a total banger., i've been fed so well.

I absolutely loved the readers lack of autonomy in your japanese folklore fic (im typing off memory so my spelling of everything will be off) they didn't have a choice in anything. fish wife <3 I'll admit I was a little confused with the Garappo, i truly thought it was some weird suicide until Jade later mentioned it. And why Floyd mentioned his brother dying to one, (I honestly thought it was supposed to be jade creature)

AGHHHH fish wife??? really?? fish wife??? the ending was so delicious, i could almost visualize it. so lovely. the fear, lack of autonomy, the loss of all they've known, never knowing what's real and what's a fantasy. I'm not sure what you envisioned for their future, but I can imagine that lack of autonomy will be more of a pressing issue than it was. God, the view of that though!!! Someone you only remember when you're too hazy to be in the real world, someone that's been with you throughout your life, someone that's wanted you since you could remember. isn't that so romantic? Finally together where the sun can't part you, under the water.

i dont know how to really explain what im feeling, or what i think, but i feel like it's such a poignant visual to be killed by this Jade in that way. It feels like watching a puzzle you've been working on be completed, or reaching a new plot point in a game you like, it's this feeling of intrigue, anticipation, idk. I always get that feeling reading your fics and also HOLY FUCK THEYRE SO LONG!!!!!!

and dont think i've forgotten your other fics LOL im ready to talk about those too holy fuck. I don't have that much to say unfortunately, I really enjoyed them just as much but I'm far more speechless. The Jade fic based off of Mera's god! Floyd was... really nice. The altar scene felt like Jade was punishing them for something. That's just how the bee crumbles, though. "sadist" might not rhyme with "jade" but it's basically the same word anyway... I loved watching Jade's opinion of Reader change over the time skips, he goes from mild annoyance/hate or, idk, repulsion (?) to interest, to love (menace style).

The reader fulfilling nothing in the end was certainly something. I loved it.

I've never really had a family, so I can't understand reader's motivations in your "crowley finds a way to send Yuu home" fic, but it made me wish I had one. I enjoyed the ending, the usage of the ghost camera. Poor Jade, really. I don't have much to say, because I'm not personally a fan of angst.

I feel like I can safely say you're my favorite writer, even above Mera. (who i now know you're also a fan of!!! which is neat!!!!!)

i know i probably could've DMed you but I feel like an ask is more appropriate >:) i hope you enjoy the long ask, as an artist myself this is kinda like tags on my art, and i really feel like you deserve that happiness. not good at talking, my bad!!!!

oh the way this made my day, i’m on break for my 6-2 shift and just AAAAAAAAAA thank you thank you thank you for this ask (*≧∀≦*) i’m geeking over here man,, i’m so flattered

okay to answer the first thing about why Floyd mentions his brother got killed by one!! the entire point of him going there is to check if his future sibling in law opinion on yokai, his brother’s lovesick so Floyds on the case

he had to make the reader let him stay!! the idea of the garappa outside is more terrifying to the reader than letting in a stranger & he mentions his brother dying to one (falsely!!! he’s lying ofc!!!)

bc the reader’s like oh that sounds familiar for him to have a brother, that fits into place — doubled with the bath salts, it’s an ease slip inside the shrine

“the fear, lack of autonomy, the loss of all they've known, never knowing what's real and what's a fantasy.” dude why did you write Sundo better than me??? why did you write the whole thesis of Sundo in a more poetic and all around better way that i ever could holy shit

also if i was the reader i’d give into to be an umi bozu so easily,, like the eldritch beauty of becoming something truly incomprehensible, some Berserk-esque creature

like look at this!!!!! it would be so cool to be this!!!!! GIANT FISH WIFE!!!!

AAAAA to be a huge monster loved and adored by your husband who stole/shares your immortal soul and infects your memory like a leech 💕💕

“It feels like watching a puzzle you've been working on be completed, or reaching a new plot point in a game you like,” AAAAA THANK YOU!!! (￣个￣) this particular part has me geeking,, i’m a big video game fan so to mimic that feeling of completeness, integrality!!!

and yeah i’m always worried about length bc i’m too fluent in yappanese when it comes to writing

the altar scene in Psilocybin was definitely a mixture of punishment and accepting them into his world — he’s always going to be salty that he does not know what fear tastes, smells, looks like upon the reader! (〃´∀｀)

i’m a HUGE momma’s girl so that’s where the theme of Schism came from haha and i love Tool’s music — thank you for saying u like the ghost camera usage, i was worried the audience might not get this BUT reader does not end up leaving; that end scene is specifically with the fragment of her soul from the photograph on Jade’s desk

ALSO MORE THAN MERA???? AAAAA THATS CRAZY PRAISE 💕💕💕 (O∆O)

UM THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK <<<3 im tattooing it in my head forever!!!! also ure my first mutual and it’s such an honor bc you’re so incredibly talented and AAAA i’m still geeking 💕

[open-hangar]

Prison Force Chagger Ep. 3

GENEVA LBZ/IF INMATE RECORDS

Name: Wolfgang Baumer

Place of Origin: Nordschwarzwald region, Western Europe

Birth date: Unknown

Height and Weight: ~155 cm, ~90kg

Criminal Record: Harboring a Fugitive, multiple counts of Grand Theft Auto, Grand Larceny, Money Laundering, Voluntary Manslaughter

Etc: Prisoner records are not to be destroyed by the order of the Wardens. Who we are and what we’ve done are not a secret, but also do not define us.

“Could you hand me the CH.Welder?”

I looked down at the hairy hand reaching out from underneath the truck with a bit of confusion, and then to the wide array of tools laid out on a greasy towel on the ground.

“Uh, yeah, sure… The CH.Welder… It’s…”

“About 25 centimeter long curved pipe with the cylinder on the bottom. Covered in a novel’s worth of warning labels.”

Ah. Of course. What else could it have been? I lean over and pick up the-

“Nah, the other one. Easy mistake to make.”

“...Right.”

Last week I was moved into a cell in the main holding building. It’s not really as bad as it sounds, since they had all of the bars removed and placed with a normal wall and a door that locked from the inside. It’s honestly way better than the shack I used to live in on the outskirts of the Solna LBZ, at least this place keeps heat reasonably well. Doc even recommended that I talk to some guys who love to build cottages, but I felt weird asking for favors already. After all, they’ve already got me working with Wolfgang because I apparently know which way to turn a socket wrench.

As I hand the device, I look down under the truck at my… manager? Co-worker? I still haven’t figured out how exactly this was supposed to work. He’s flat on his back, most of his face covered in a heavy-duty chargon mask, in case a gasket pops and he gets a face full of green and purple gas, but his giant salt-and-pepper beard sticks out from the bottom.

“Hey, should I be wearing one of those masks?”

“Nah, you’re probably fine. Just stay out of the way in case something pops.”

Cool. Glad to be useful.

As the short, wide Warden tinkers on the chargon drive of the truck, I absent-mindedly wander around the space. It’s not super clear if this massive garage existed before the revolution, because it’s clearly designed to service a giant complex with a fleet of vehicles, but for whatever reason, the only truck here was the one being worked on. There were also only a small handful of car lifts. What, exactly, was the point of this place?

I figure I might as well make my question known out loud in a way that Wolfgang might hear it. It takes long enough for him to answer that I almost repeat the question.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Don’t worry about it? I mean, if this is my new job, it seems like something I should worry about. Where are all the other trucks?

“I’m telling you not to worry about it because you don’t need to worry about it.”

For a second, I worry to myself that the Warden had already figured out my game. Grab a truck while he’s not looking, and hoof it to the wall surrounding this place to get the hell out. Don’t ask me how I’m planning on getting past the wall since I didn’t see any gates, I’ve always been good at thinking on my feet. Usually.

The Warden slides out from under the truck, the wheels on his sliding board making clanking sounds on the seams of the concrete.

“We have trucks. Lots of ‘em. But the thing about tools is that people like to use them, because that’s what they’re for. And if they want to keep using them, that’s fine too. There’s vehicles that have been borrowed for years, and I honestly don’t even know what happened to the guys who borrowed them. And if they need repairing, then they’ll wind up back here.”

It’s obvious that I’ve been on the outside for too long.

“Yeah. But you’ll figure it out. Just forget about stuff like pers-”

A loud klaxon suddenly starts blaring, the sound echoing off of the distant walls of the garage’s massive interior. What the hell…? Wolfgang clambers up to his impressive 1 and a half meters and speedily trundles over to a nearby intercom.

“What’s the emergency?”

He listens intensely, his face grimacing with each passing word from the other speaker. He looks around awkwardly, and makes quick eye contact with me.

“Okay, look, I got the newblood here. Fine, yeah. I’ll be out in a jiff.” He smashes a button on the intercom to end communication, and turns to walk towards me.

“Stand back, you’re about to get a hell of a show.” He then places his calloused hand on my arm, and points towards a door near the bathrooms that says Managers only.

“Take that elevator and head to the top floor, and mind the ‘old person’ smell. Whatever you do, don’t leave. I promise it’s the safest place on the continent right now.”

I’m clearly puzzled as the ground begins to rumble, and the center of the floor begins to slide open like a concrete grocery store front door. On a rising platform sits… a jet? But instead of being a sleek machine designed to dogfight, it’s built like a bulbous insectoid semi truck with wings and a massive translucent chargon battery for an abdomen. I’ve never seen a battery that big, and Wolfgang marches straight towards it. There’s no way in hell he’s actually going to get IN that thing, is he?!”

“Elevator! Now!”

My legs instinctively, obediently carry me towards the doorway opposite the room as the Warden climbs into the machine, and the strange device emits the telltale green and purple of a chargon engine’s exhaust. Crap, crapcrapcrap gotta get out of this room immediately! I slam the “up” button on the inside of the elevator, and watch the insectoid apparatus slowly take off from its launch bay. A woman’s voice comes over the elevator’s speakers, and speaks with a calm voice.

“Top floor: Dr. Ishikawa’s office.”

Art by @menacing-marshmallow

[angelosearch]

Favorite's meme!

I've been tagged by @cynic-view-ahead and so I must!!

I am really bad at picking favorites so the addendum to all of this is that these are my favorites as of right now, all time favorites is a whole different ball game.

Favorite painter: I actually don't know many painters by name, but I do really like Jane Wilson. Her impressionist landscapes are so beautiful, atmospheric, airy, sometimes haunting. But also, I love that she is an American woman doing big landscapes because the wall-sized landscape paintings in the US have always been dominated by men and she subverts that.

Favorite poet/writer: This is such a big question but I'm just going to say Tamsyn Muir and be done with it. I love The Locked Tomb Series! If I was going to try and describe the series I would say... a murder mystery in a post-apocalyptic society involving swashbuckling Necromancer lesbians... in space.

Favorite band: Hmmm, even just narrowing this one to right now only is hard! I've been listening to The Last Dinner Party, Mother Mother, and Cavetown on repeat lately. I am seeing Cold War Kids on Wednesday and The Rocket Summer (I went SUPER HARD for this band in high school) on the 17th. ABBA and Death Cab for Cutie are on permanent rotation!!

Bonus: A fictional band that will be featured in an upcoming chapter of Chaos Theory - Wimbly Donner and the Soldiers. There's three sentences about this band in my fic and I have two pages of headcanon about them.

Favorite meal & drink: I am very mood/situation dependent on my food choices. I am not picky in the sense that there's food I won't eat, but the vibe has to right for every meal. There is only one thing I can eat under any circumstance or time of day and back-to-back and that is a huge bowl of popcorn. Specifically, popcorn stovetop-popped using canola oil and white kernels. I top it only with salt. It was the first thing I could cook for myself and the only thing I could have for dinner for a while so my brain has just adapted to crave it 24/7. I like it warm, burnt, even stale. My favorite drink to pair it with is a smooth iced Americano. That sounds weird but the bitterness of the coffee highlights the sweet and saltiness of the popcorn!

Favorite outfit aesthetic/style: My favorite outfit is my causal Squall outfit (the Squoutfit)! But my style usually consists of bright colors, sequins/shiny things (Cher-core), busy patterns, and tons of accessories. I like playing with layering and trying to make myself look taller. I am a bigger person who is not always on good terms with my body but ironically I really like wearing crop tops. I just can't expose my biceps.

Favorite singer: Today it is Xana. I am OBSESSED with the song "Better Kind of Best Friend." Normally I do not listen to songs on a constant repeat but I'm probably pushing on listening to this one 30 times in the last 12 hours.

Favorite item you own: You mean other than my copy of Final Fantasy VIII? Hmm, it's a tough one. I just got a hot dog bookmark. And someone else gave me a glasses-cleaning cloth that looks like a hot dog. And then there is my hot dog sculpture. Probably one of those perfectly normal things to own.

Favorite perfume: I don't really do perfume these days because my husband is allergic but I have this mint and cinnamon soap that I absolutely adore. When it comes to fragrances, I generally like notes of lemon balm, flowers, cedar wood, rosemary, or vanilla, but I am very picky about how these scents are presented.

Tagging people I didn't get in my other tag game this evening: @gardengalwrites @redfoxline @sevlinop @thewillroar @mathiwrites

[georgiapeach30513]

In a way, this strategy, if it were to have any salt to it, is kinda interesting. It also sort of enforces the idea of possible foul play. Because if CE is truly in such a happy, private, loveful relationship, why use somebody as uncouth as DM to throw out breadcrumbs? Especially since, in the past, his fanbase and most Tumblr blogs believed it was only legit if it came from someone like People Mag (his team's go-to). Ironically, Page 6 has been getting most of the exclusive scoops this time around, in addition to weird low rate tabloids that eventually make its way to the top.I know I sound like crazy qanon conspiracy theorist, but I guess people see what they want/ I agree with this anon all of these things that were spread as gossip was just a foreshadow of what's to come which is why I think this is not genuine, they had a plan since the beginning & still sticking to that plan but unfortunately for both by the time they are finish with there shenanigans plenty people will also be finish with them as well.

I think there’s a lot of us out there that can say, fine this is what you’re telling us, but also don’t believe that there are any genuine feelings between either parties. Now was this a ploy from the beginning? Who knows. But games have been played since day one. If it was genuine, why?

Let’s be honest, neither are losing that much. She is just gaining a hell of a lot more. And can Chris be the actor that can survive without a fandom? He could. But not with the rate he’s going. Pain Hustlers, I enjoyed his part. I will commend him for the acting he did. It was some of his better dramatic acting. However, it was critically panned. And now it’s forgotten. Ghosted…well, it was a choice.

[sasukimimochi]

i wanna ramble about my view on JC but i'm so bad at words

so like, i see posts where people talk about these things JC does or WWX holds back from, i don't wanna go searching but also want to leave these details out cuz i don't want to accidentally call people out cuz that is not my intention (not that i have the audience to do something like that) so i'm just gonna go from my memory and kinda summarize what i think abt him...

gonna add a read more line bc this gets long!

Uh, btw please no hostility i'm not trying to start arguments, these are just my thoughts i really wanted to get out there. i'm definitely no therapist or psychologist so take this with a grain of salt, this is the view of just an average reader who retains a lot of info [tho still manages to miss details at times]. Anyway if you have info you think i should have addressed, reply and i'll make additions if i agree/want to expand on the info presented to me!

So, WWX and JC have a weird thing going on, it's not exactly brothers but they definitely wanted that, the reason why i say they aren't solidly brothers is because i'm pretty sure Madam Yu has influenced JC from the start of his arrival which is why he doesn't call wwx a-xian or Wei Ying or A-Ying- Why he doesn't allow himself to let loose properly around anyone even in private, why he constantly scolds wwx, etc. i believe firmly he's been quite influenced by his parents due to him being the next sect heir and the pressure that comes from it, as well as what he feels like madam yu is correct on- wwx is uncle jiang's favorite.

Madam Yu still chides Yanli for doing domestic acts for WWX but not on the same level as JC, who is constantly under pressure by her to be the perfect heir to the sect. She wants him to be better than WWX, which of course affects all of the family but Yanli gets left out of the fire a bit, which i think is what gives her such a strength to do these supportive acts for the brothers [and why she's also both the brother's favorite. She's basically the mom they wish for. Supportive, understanding, and helps mediate them]. Though this is a burden she has to bear, it's not that big of a burden to her because she loves the two so much.

Jiang Fengmian... i might be spelling his name wrong, so i'll call him Uncle Jiang cuz it will be faster for me to type with no mistakes haha. Anyway, I have complicated feelings about him.

At first i thought he was great and did no wrong, but that was on my first pass and when i had just watched the donghua only. My opinion of him since i read the novel isn't bad, but it's not super good. He's in a complicated position! There's only so much he can do about his wife, they argue super often and while its not usually crazy loud, it's pretty intense. [also, i'm not sure if separation is really a thing that happened back then, i think that's really a modern thing.] I feel like we're likely seeing Uncle Jiang's will to fight dimmed down by the wear of time.

Consider: you have a family member who won't ever listen to what you say, regardless how sound your argument is- you can be completely in the right and have all the facts, but no matter how long you press on, the result never changes. Do you put in the same amount of effort for the rest of your life? No! You understand that no matter how much you argue that their answer will remain the same. I personally have a family member like this, and while i defend myself regularly, it does not go anywhere. That is the nature of some people, no matter what they may not treat your view with the respect it deserves.

anyway back to the main line here, i dont think wwx is wrong about what he said regarding JF to JC. "he's just hard on you cuz you're going to be sect leader" or whatever it was along those lines- WWX does not seem like the type to lie to make someone feel better and i think this is why JC appreciates that conversation so much (besides the heartfelt twin prides which is obviously something that stuck to him for a long time). And i agree, JF is definitely trying to prepare Jiang Cheng for his position as sect leader one day.

do i think Uncle Jiang is completely guilt free of favoritism? No absolutely not, he canonically holds wwx more as a child, which i think is hard to argue against- but i do think the context of that is missed in part by most. WWX may have been a bright kid with sun shining out his ass but he was also a scared kid that just got rescued off the streets after his parents never came home. A kid that was fighting for food from dogs and likely starving and scared because he was on the street for like 5 years [if i remember it was from age 4 to 9 in the novel]. Of course he got held a bit more- i can't imagine he would be completely unphased immediately upon arrival, at least with his Uncle Jiang who was totally willing to provide him comfort- which wwx probably desperately missed from his now dead parents. We know canonically that the memory of those parents, however small, is unreplaceable and dear to wwx- but having JF treat him dearly is truly a balm to what has happened to him.

I'm not gonna say JC didn't go through things that made him cry and want to be held, in fact if WWX came into the house and suddenly got a lot of attention, it's going to feel pretty shitty for JC! Of course this combined with abruptly losing his privacy and puppies was what initially had him pushing the other away, but as you could see, after WY breaks his leg after running off and they make up, they get really close and despite this looming responsibility and family troubles, the two are very bonded. imo making them look like 6 year olds in the donghua is an injustice to their relationship, because 9 year olds tend tend to have more emotional intelligence (?) at that age. I'm not sure how to phrase that, but basically making them look younger and act like giggling children took away from the scene a bit for me lol. Jc is old enough to realize he doesn't dislike wwx! This isn't a child quickly getting over his anger, he's young here yes, but he's decided in this moment that he cares about this new member of the family, despite being called the son of a servant. [which yes madam yu is once again influencing his view of this segregation but i think he is much better at ignoring this particular in his youth]

I am rambling more than i thought i would lmao- i have a lot of feelings about their relationship and i think it's skipped over so much

um, i'm not sure which direction i was going in before i went onto the parents. Let's skip forward.

lotus pier fell and not only did JC see wwx get humiliated and whipped and nearly disfigured, his mother who he was about to lose blamed wwx for so much. When you lose a family member you have an attachment to, whether it bad or good, this influences your thoughts about them and with no way to resolve said thoughts. i find this hard to explain, so i'm just going to hope you understand what i'm referring to here. Especially in ancient china though, i believe it's a big thing to hold such a high regard for your parents, but especially if they have passed? i can't say this is fact but i believe that is the case i just am sticking to my memory here. So these things in combination with Trauma, i believe starts this heavy, negative emotion in JC that is hard to unstick.

JC and WWX may get into a one-sided scuffle but soon after they cry together like children. They just experienced hundreds of lives lost- people they grew up with and trained with and cared for as well as the people who provided and cared for them- their family was unstable, but still was a family and support system- now they had only two people and one of them was far away, the one that was typically their pillar. I feel like a lot of people hold JC to an impossible standard in his situation- having a bad day and taking it out on someone is one thing, going through a traumatic massacre i think allows someone to get a bit unreasonable [though of course nearly choking him was quite far, remember, he's extremely unstable emotionally at this point].

"WWX didn't do that though!" of course not. WWX is a different person with a different personality, is older (though i don't know by how much), and is extremely resilient, but he does process his trauma just differently. As you see over and over in the novel, wwx goes through many things others wouldn't dream of, but he starts acting differently even before the golden core removal, not only after. He's going through the same things, but i'm pretty sure no one reacts to trauma the same way to the T. JC's just happens to be misplaced anger, which is probably way too simple a way to put it, but anyway...wwx also gets angry. very angry. The two both have the correct target of anger in the end, despite Jc's breakdown. He still harbors his mother's words, but at this point they're still in the background of his mind.

Now again we go forward- JC willingly sacrifices himself for WWX. Look, if he doesn't like wwx at all i think this is extremely contradictory. even if he was s*icidal, he could have chose other ways to get to that end if that was the case. and a gentle reminder that JC perks back up and is ready to fight once he believes WWX knows how to fix his core! i don't think he was truly wanting to die or anything like that until he thought he had lost everything except wwx and jyl. He believes in wwx's strength despite his constant fear of inferiority, so if he was gone, what would it matter if wwx was there to continue to protect yanli?

Essentially he was like 'well what are we going to do if i can't lead the sect? We would be in a homeless situation and there is a war.' aka there's not a lot of hope all around, i don't think he was only upset about the core, but it was definitely the main force because if he didn't have a core, how would he survive what was happening anyway? he's like 'if i'm gonna die let it be on my terms' yk? He also doesn't feel like he's strong enough before he lost his core to protect anyone. Without it? fat chance.

whew... this is a lot already, so maybe i'll post this and do a part two later addressing YLLZ arc, then the "present" one. i just have a lot of feelings about their relationship and i'm sad to see so much negativity around him...JC is quite flawed, but a lot of the characters are flawed! that doesn't make them bad characters, it makes them interesting and human.

[garbagequeer]

i see your Nationalposting and as a fellow Longtime National Fan I would greatly like to know your favorite Old National songs/lyrics <3

hi!! im not sure what's considered Old the national so i'll go with anything before high violet and i'll leave out the ones that feel like obvious common favorites (about today, slow show, mr november and fake empire all of which i love). and i'll order them by album because i wrote my answer and now it's annoying me that it's in a random order

from the national:

i love the lines on bitters and absolute that go "if i were a spy in the world inside your head / would i be your wife in a better life you led" i think because it builds a good rhythm by using rhymes not only between lines but also inside the same line (wife and life, if i and spy) and a little alliteration by using 4 W words in so little space. it gets stuck in my head so much because it's so catchy phonetically

i'll also say 29 years which feels like cheating bc it couples with slow show but i love the imagery of this song and also the sound of the feedback and guitar in the background is so beautiful (i read somewhere they made it by stroking the cords with a fork but idk how true that is. if true i <3 getting weird with guitars)

THE PERFECT SONG. they really made a perfect song about not finding the perfect song. i love the "shallow minded adult tricks but i know there's a river in me" line and the general theme of this song. no notes it's the perfect song fr i cant talk about this one

from sad songs for dirty lovers:

murder me rachel (love the ribbons imagery and if anyone knows any other songs that uses that id love to know about them... send ribbon songs for my ribbon songs collection please. so far i've got this one, describe by perfume genius and sober by lorde)

lucky you because i love a pathetic ass state of mind forever

it never happened because it is perfect for a somewhat sad walk around the neighborhood and i love the line "now nobody's funny / no god, they took our fashion week" in part because of the twist of mentioning fashion week which is always a little funny when describing all these horrible things that get them depressed (feeling very old, nothing being funny, no god) and the "what to my wondering eyes should appear [dramatic pause] ...nothing" because it is equally funny while serious too. i also love how it changes sound halfway through i love a song with parts.

from alligator:

i adore the menacing lyrics to city middle about having money and ideas and being worked up and drunk/high and wanting to "gator around the warm beds of beginners" and the vague and hazy images of these people pissing in a sink or confessing things. and i like how it builds to being louder as it progresses following the story from the menacing beginning where it seems these people are going to do some damage to other people over this calmer melody to a more anxious melody/repetitive lyrics where instead we find them to be doing damage to themselves. normal binge drinker experience

i love the general frantic desperate energy of abel and the lines "you turn me good and god-fearing / tell me what am i supposed to do with that" and "i see water on the bridge / well, you better hold my hand through this". i love the general conflicting feelings in this song. i should live in salt's crazy older brother

from boxer:

green gloves <<<333 i think they were crazy for this one it's probably my favorite song about friendship ever

i love the line from apartment story about how the stereo "sings to itself of its long lost loves" i think it's a really fun device but also works perfectly in context to depict the sway certain things like art or beauty have over our perception of our lives and how we use these things as covers and crutches to deal with the mundane dissatisfaction of working life. i also like how first he seems more dismissive of the stereo which is just doing "whatever it does", which to me shows the distancing tired adults have to these artistic or beautiful things due to the reality of their lives and a certain level of cynicism. I also really like the first verse with the couple getting ready to go out and the little lines that indicate frustration with this ritual ("i try and try to pin your flowers on", "i can tie my tie all by myself" for offering a similar contrast between appearances and feelings

i'd love to hear someone else's thoughts on favorite songs and lyrics from the national btw so you can send you favorites if you want :^)

[foodandfolklore]

Tools you Do NOT need

I got more things I want to add to my list of recommendations of what to keep on hand as a kitchen witch. But I figured it may be more productive to share my opinion on things most Kitchen Witches don't need. Now, this will be my experience and based on what I've heard from others. And if you have anything listed and love it, don't get rid of it or stop using it! Just if you see some of this stuff on videos or advertised; maybe pass on them.

Silicone Spoon

Silicone is great for a lot of things, and I highly recommend you have a silicone spatula for scraping. But a Silicone spoon is so impractical. It tends to be a plastic form spoon covered in a layer of silicone, so it doesn't have the same flexibility as a silicone spatula when scraping edges. Silicone also tends to be soft, so it's not unusual for it to cut or tear. For a spatula that's fine, because it's a solid piece so it can still work fine with a few nicks. But for a spoon that has a layer of silicone, it means there's a change for moisture to get in-between the layer and cause it to start separating. Not to mention the fact Silicone will melt at high heat. So if you're mixing something that can get very very hot, like oil or sugar, your spoon may melt. Then there's just the fact nothing sticks properly. Which sounds great for cleaning, but can be a pain if you're trying to check if a sauce or custard is done. Stick with a wooden spoon and use a silicone spatula when you want to scrape.

Garlic Press

A controversial one for sure! You see these used all the time in cooking videos. But they are so impractical. All the garlic doesn't even go through the press, and you still need to sever the end from the press. Mincing garlic with a chef knife is far more effective. However, I know not everyone has the dexterity to mince garlic. So, some alternatives: Blend a big batch using a food processor, and freeze portions for later. There's a few videos on ways to do this, but my favourite way I've seen uses a ziplock bag and chopstick. Use a microplane grater. Just grate the gloves using a microplane and you'll easily get the fine pieces you are after. The neat thing is a Microplane can be used for a variety of foods, while a garlic press is limited to just...well garlic.

Egg Separator

These can be really cute and funny and sometimes make fun decore. But, realistically speaking, they don't work any better than just using your hands. Or if you hate touching egg, tipping the yolk back and forth between the cracked shells. Every single fancy egg separator I have seen is just as effective, and yolks have the same break rate (which is low) Save your money, save your space, don't get these. Oh and a quick note about eggs; don't get egg holders. Yeah they're cute, but for something that only has one purpose, they can take up a fair bit of space. Instead, try using standard shot glasses. It's what my parents had us use when we were kids.

Specialty Peelers/Cutters

I'm talking big, turn style apple peelers, pineapple peeler and corer, banana slicers; anything that's for one specific type or size of food. You really don't need it, and it takes up space. Just use your vegetable peeler and knife. If you have trouble cutting evenly, perhaps consider a mandolin. These allow you to slice a variety of foods thinly. Just take great care, as these are very sharp and it can be easy to slice off a finger tip if you are not using proper safety measures.

Turkey Baster

I have one of these in my kitchen drawer since moving in with my SO years ago. Neither of us have ever used it. A baster is used for 1 thing which can be substituted for a ladle or large spoon. Many people still see this as an essential for cooking meat though, so take this with a grain of salt. I'd also add roasting pan; since any time I make a roast now I grab my Crock Pot. But I'm aware a roasting Pan has it's uses for other people.

More Jars and Containers

This might seem weird cause I put glass jars down as a needed must for Kitchen Witchcraft. This is not a PSA for those of you who have just started your collection and have maybe 20 jars. This is to those of us who have accumulated over 200 with realistically only enough space for half that. Stop it. Maybe start giving some of your jars away that you've washed and reused from products. Same goes for plastic containers. I have a habit of saving my large yogurt containers, but they just started taking up too much space. Find a balance is all I'm saying.

I may make an ingredient list later; but that's far more subjective.