#but i also just have a deeper love for nature and the universe and my beliefs about spirit don't really conflict | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

eureka-its-zico · 1 year ago

Text

Chaos in Their Bones

Ongoing Series

Synopsis: All your life you’d listened to your friend, Usopp spin wild tales about pirates and adventure. Pirates weren’t a thing that came often to Syrup Village, but one straw hat pirate and his crew changed all that the day they arrived. Now, you aren’t so sure if your sleepy little village was always pirate-free or if no one had been paying attention.

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x Reader

Genre: friends to lovers, frienemies to lovers, slow burn (I hope y’all like aching) eventual smut

Words: 5k+

A/N: I told myself I wasn’t going to do this, so naturally I did it anyway. This is the first chapter in a planned series with a reader insert following the events of the OPLA universe. I sincerely hope that this is a story you all love as this is my first initial time writing for one of my beloved anime. But let’s be real, after seeing Mackenyu play Zoro (my fav) I knew I was going to be whipped from the start. The reader will go by “Doc” in this story at times, and later a nickname by Zoro himself. As always, I hope you enjoy this. Much love, Jenn. Also, thank you @thegreatesttttttttt for indulging me.

The ringing of the bell thundered through the sky above. An upcoming warning of four words that would echo through the street's moments later.

“The pirates are coming!”

You could practically hear the rest of the town groan with a sigh. Their annoyance stunk up the streets as Usopp sounded the imaginary alarm as he usually did every day around this time. Maybe it was because you considered Usopp a friend that his tall tales and wild imagination didn’t bother you.

Instead, a sly smile tilted your lips as you continued to grind the seeds deep into the mortar. Mr. Edison’s gruff voice from outside your window reminded Usopp for the millionth time that he needed to stop as he sprinted past.

“What is that boy going on about?” Naan huffed.

You sent a quick glance behind your shoulder at the older woman who was currently folding the recently washed linens. All of them are used with a purpose to either staunch bloody wounds or for the simple purpose of relieving colds. Naan’s linens, like her home, were used for a multitude of healing services, with the only payment she accepted was that of the kindness of others around her.

“You already know, Naan,” you replied, your smile evident in your words. “It’s the usual afternoon reminder to stay on your toes.”

A deep chuckle came from behind you followed by the soft cough that came after.

“These toes can’t do very much standing. So, maybe tell your friend to give me a day of rest soon.”

“Usopp has done this every day for seven years. I don’t think anything anyone will ever say will make him stop.”

Even if you could get Usopp to stop, you wouldn’t be the one to make him. You weren’t sure how many people in town knew who his father was - or that he’d been a pirate. A father by suggestion, Usopp’s wild imagination could only recall small things from the stories his mother had been willing to share, and from those stories, even greater ones grew.

While everyone else may have found Usopp’s stories as an ever-present headache you knew they held a deeper meaning. They were the only thing he knew of a man he never got to know.

The sound of chair legs creaking across the floor cut you out of your thoughts. Just in time from the looks of the seed putty you’d created. A heavy thud on the boards informed you Naan grabbed her cane and the heavier shuffling of her feet that she was heading in your direction.

“What are you so intently making over here, child?”

Settling down the pestle, you reached over your workstation to grab a pot. You were going to need to fetch some water to bring everything to a bowl before you strained it into a jar.

“Water. I need to go get some water,” you murmured as you brought the pot down in front of you.

“Am I talking to myself?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Naan. Did you say something?”

This time you did dare to look at her. Her deep-set wrinkles set impossibly deeper as she regarded your work from over your shoulder.

“Oh, I only asked what you were making that was stinking up my kitchen.”

Your eyes flew open wide as you took a deep breath in. You were sure the only thing you’d put in that maybe - maybe - smelled was the slippery elm, but you hadn’t even steeped it in the water yet. Naan must have read your panic before it began to stitch your brow together. Your eyes still helplessly peeled to the job in front of you instead of the chuckling woman behind you.

“It’s fine, child. I’m just teasing you.”

All your panic rushed out in a huff of air as your body finally turned to greet her. Your eyes instantly took in the very tired look of hers.

“You should get some rest, Naan.”

The two of you knew you meant well. You would never try and make Naan feel older than she already felt, except you didn’t give a damn about her feelings when you could easily spot the sweat on her upper lip. The way her body leaned more into the cane that supported her. She batted your concern away with a swat of her free hand. As if it would be enough to make whatever fear that gripped at your heart magically disappear.

“Don’t patronize me. I’m fine.”

“You are not fine. You're wheezing with every breath now-“

“I said I’m fine. Leave me alone and start worrying about whatever it is you’re making.”

“Well, if you would stop interrupting me, maybe I could finish it!”

The irritation in your voice wasn’t hard to miss. Naan heard it too no doubt with the way her brow cocked as if begging you to repeat it.

The silence stretched uncomfortably between you. Naan wouldn’t even look at you - probably too scared to see your eyes pleading, full of worry for her to just go lay down.

Why must you always be so stubborn?

The question sat on your tongue and made your words form like molasses. You weren’t a child anymore. So, it begged the question of why you were still afraid to speak to her like an adult. It didn’t matter if what you said hurt her old feelings. Not when the thought of her not being around made your chest begin to spread wide like an aching chasm.

“You never did say what you were making.”

You pressed your tongue against your cheek while you debated if it would be worth it to try and argue with her. Of course, you were always the first one to relent and push it under the metaphorical rug.

“It’s a gift for Miss Kaya. Usopp told me her cough hadn’t changed and asked if I would make something for her.”

“Hmm,” Naan hummed in thought. “That boy is strange, but he is kind.”

“Not as strange as Kaya having an unknown illness the last few years and never seeking any aid from the town's doctor,” you grumbled.

Naan’s hand lightly clasped your shoulder in comfort - comfort you didn’t want to accept. Not only were thoughts of Naan being sick plaguing every ounce of free space in your brain but now so was Kaya. You’d only met her once when you were younger with Usopp and after her parents died that odd butler, Klahadore, kept her under strict observation.

In all the years you’d been with Naan, learning everything she could teach about healing, you’d found it odd that the staff never came to ask for help. You couldn’t recall a time when Sham or Buchi ever came down requesting any tonics or medicines from Naan, or for her to come with them to examine Kaya in the first place.

I wasn’t aware they were waitstaff and doctors.

You knew these thoughts would only dampen your mood until it turned completely sour. You just couldn’t stop the runaway train that was your thoughts from slipping back into questioning everything with the universe never giving you any new answers.

“How many times have I told you, child, we can’t make people get help. They have to seek it themselves and that- that is when the real healing begins.”

You were already bitter and that bitterness responded to Naan’s words in the form of an eye roll. One you were lucky the older woman didn’t see.

“It’s just not right.”

“Right or not, it’s not our place to go butting in.”

She stood behind you for a few more minutes waiting for a reply you didn’t give. You were done talking. Done trying to get her to understand that she was sick too and that all those years of molding words and actions to help others were what drove you to help her. To help Kaya. Only Usopp seemed to notice that something in her grand home wasn’t right.

Frustration drew tight across your chest causing your hands to seek support against the counter. For a split second, you imagined yourself splitting open and becoming two separate people. One being the doctor Naan trained you to be and the other something less controlled. Someone who was tired of listening but never being heard.

You listened as Naan began to retreat back to her table where the rest of the linens waited to be folded. You listened as another terrible cough violently shook itself free from her lungs as you focused on your work.

If you couldn’t help Naan you were just going to settle for helping Miss Kaya. Once you finished making Usopp’s requested medicine you were going to be sure he delivered it to her.

It was time a doctor paid a visit.

————

The shipyard.

Of course, Usopp was going to be here. Why you hadn't thought to come here first felt like a mystery all on its own.

In all the years you’d known him, Usopp’s routine hardly ever changed. He usually performed his usual pirate ritual just before he started his day in the shipyard. He was hired to care for and clean all of the ships housed within, however, and upon no real surprise to you, Usopp cleaned and polished the Going Merry daily.

So, it didn’t surprise you to find him already on the ship. What did surprise you were the three people standing with him steps away from the Going Merry, herself.

You didn’t feel alarmed in any way. Usopp was good with people - he enjoyed talking to anyone willing to listen. The man with the straw hat, who was grinning wildly in the direction of Usopp and then to his friends, seemed happy to listen. He was giving Usopp his full attention and whatever your friend was saying was exactly what Straw Hat wanted to hear.

The other two people beside him, however, didn’t seem to share in the excitement. Sure, the pretty woman with the orange hair was giving all the perfect signaling queues of a smile and nod to make it believable that she was interested in anything Usopp had to say. Did she probably care about whatever was being said? Probably not, but at least she didn’t look as sour as the moss-hair-colored guy-

Holy shit

Your feet stopped working. Your knees seemed to refuse to bend, to make any movement forward for the last few feet to close the distance to the group. For what reason? There had to be a perfectly good reason-

Nope. Thoughts gone. Head empty.

That was the best way to describe what was currently happening as your eyes stayed glued to the three-sword-wielding swordsman standing next to the woman.

Three swords? You wondered. Where does the other one go?

Maybe you would ask him if you ever summed up the courage to do just that. If you could just get your legs to function again.

In all the time you’d lived on Shell Island you were more than positive you’d never seen someone that looked close to him. Especially someone carrying around three swords or standing with so much purpose. Even as your eyes took him in you could tell he was pretending to be relaxed, but after years of mending bodies, you noticed the tightness between his shoulder blades. The ease he tried to display with a hand resting on the hilt of the sword wasn’t actually resting. Even relaxed, this man was ready to unsheathe those blades and use them at a moment's notice.

While the idea made you consider him a great swordsman, your heart also ached at the thought of feeling trapped and weary of others' intentions.

Your thoughts would’ve continued to run wild as you embarrassingly gawked at this stranger and his friends. All of that was ruined, however, when Usopp caught a glimpse of you between orange and green hair.

“Doc!”

Usopp’s excitement translated to a crazy arm wave and immediately caused all three of his newfound friends to face you. God, this meant you had to get your legs working. You had to physically move closer. You could do that. No problem.

Taking in a deep breath, you allowed a genuine smile to raise your lips in welcome. Luckily, your feet didn’t betray you as you moved the last few feet. You made a mental note as you got closer that the straw hat was meeting your smile with his own, while the other two regarded you with lackluster enthusiasm.

Great. They were the grumpy types of people.

“There you are Usopp,” you began cheerfully. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”

“You know, Usopp?” Asked straw hat.

You felt your brow crease in question as your smile wilted at the corners.

“I would hope so. We’ve known each other since we’ve lived here.”

“Impressive,” mumbled the woman.

Okay, maybe she wasn’t as friendly as you originally thought, but she was still definitely friendlier than moss hair. Who currently felt like he was drilling holes into your chest.

“Ugh, Doc I was just going to take these guys to visit, Kaya,” Usopp interjected.

He was still smiling - always smiling. His eyes darted to the three new faces before landing back at you.

“Why would you take them to see, Kaya?”

“She owns the shipyard and we-“Straw hat interjected, “Are in need of a ship. That beautiful ship behind us, to be exact.”

You glanced behind him to the Going Merry. Kaya’s family ship.

You shot Usopp a questioning glance that you weren’t surprised to see him ignore. He was up to something there was no doubting that. The issue was you weren’t sure what angle he was trying to play.

“Good luck with that.”

You did mean it. You didn’t think he was going to get it no matter how good-natured he seemed. That was still a family memory you weren’t sure Kaya would be willing to part with.

“Thanks!”

“Doc, before I take them over there do you by chance have what I asked for?”

You patted your satchel for good measure before you replied, “That’s why I was looking for you. I have it right here.”

Usopp took a step towards you, his hand outstretched in waiting for you to deposit the bottle. When you didn’t comply with his request he shot you a look of worry.

“You do have it right?”

“Yes, Usopp I told you I did. I just want to come with you to check on her myself.”

A look of worry dimmed the mirth in his eyes for one second. If you didn’t know what to look for you would have missed it entirely. You knew he’d been asking you for months to sneak in with him to visit Kaya. His own suspicions began to outweigh the doubt that plagued his heart with every heavy decision that needed to be made.

Deep down, Usopp knew if you were finally going to answer his request of sneaking in with him, it must be serious. A concept Usopp himself purposely tried to run from often.

“Wait, you’re a doctor? That is so cool!”

You needed to learn Straw Hat’s name because he was growing on you fast.

“I’m no-“

“She’s actually one of the best doctors in the whole East Blue,” Usopp beamed. “She’s cured this small village of at least two possible plague outbreaks twice already.”

You were willing to bet your eyes were the size of saucers. There was no way any of them would believe that kind of nonsense. There was absolutely no way-

“Wow, now that is really impressive! Sounds just like somebody who should be a part of my crew-“

“No!”

“We are not a crew!”

The absolute verbal whiplash you just experienced left your head reeling to pick up on every conversation. Straw Hat was practically turning into pure sunshine in front of you, while the other two were glaring like you’d sprouted three heads.

Geez, what a tough crowd.

“Ok, wait what?”

“It’s nothing he doesn’t mean anything by it,” the woman replied, a tight smile thinning out her lips.

“We don’t need someone pretending to play medicine woman to join us.”

Your eyes narrowed in on the now green-haired monster. He met your cold glance with his own. Whoever - whatever - he experienced in his life meant he didn’t find you the least bit threatening. He regarded you like an annoyance and you found yourself wondering why the universe made all the grumpy ones the most attractive.

If his lips pouted any harder he was going to have to rent a kissing booth.

“For your information, I’m not a pretend doctor.”

Whatever he was going to reply with was cut off by Straw hat who quickly pointed at himself. “I’m Luffy, and these are my companions Nami and Zoro.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Luffy,” you beamed letting them know your name in response. “But most people just refer to me as Doc because of Usopp.”

Nami clapped her hands together to bring you both back to the matter at hand. Kaya’s medicine. Their boat.

“Now that the pleasantries are out of the way, can we get going? We really should stop by and pay her a visit.”

“Oh yeah! Come on guys, I can show you the fastest way there.”

Usopp tossed down his rag and skipped backward to the crate where his own satchel sat.

“Great! If you guys will kindly follow me this way I can show you something really awesome.”

You wanted to smack some sense into him. Usopp always wanted to be liked - for people to spend time with him and enjoy it. Besides Kaya and you who humored him with his opulent imagination and ability to spin fables like cotton candy. These people, Luffy excluded, did not deserve his endearing desire for friendship. They were both giving off major chip on their shoulder vibes and you vowed to become an even bigger pain in the ass if they were unnecessarily rude to him.

They didn’t wait to know if you were joining them or even behind them. They all moved forward to follow Usopp, who was spit-firing a conversation at Luffy who easily seemed to match it with his own charisma. Nami and Zoro trudged behind them both and you brought up the rear.

You’d hoped at some point Luffy or Usopp would drag you into the conversation. Anything that would keep your wandering eyes from constantly burrowing holes between Zoro’s sculpted shoulders. If you didn’t locate some form of self-control soon, you were positive your brain would be sent spinning into a tangent about how martial arts training with weapons was a godsend. So, looking at your feet for the next few miles would have to suffice.

It was strange how the world between poverty and the rich was such an overwhelming force. The farther you ventured out past the town and into the privacy of the landscape that kept Kaya’s family home hidden, it was a wonder that anyone would know it was there.

There were endless strawberry fields that farmers planted on one side and potatoes on the other. Dozens of workers tended to their growth with their hard work and sweat until a wall of bamboo cut off any view. All you could see was an endless path swallowed in bamboo branches making the path more foreboding than you thought necessary.

When you finally came in through the front gates, their iron and mortar was a welcomed sight. The one thing that wasn’t was that stupid Well you’d grown to hate ever since you almost fell in looking over the side as a child.

“I’ve never seen a house this big before.”

Luffy’s admission sent your eyes up from your feet to the large garden entrance. And that damned well that sat like a mockery in the middle of the walkway to the front.

“It’s impressive, right? Kaya’s given me an open invitation to stop by anytime I want.”

Your eyes darted over to Usopp who was practically skipping with excitement as he and Luffy made their way over to the well. You wanted him to look at you, but you knew he wouldn’t. If he did, Usopp would only find you looking at him - full of questions - with a look calling him a liar. You would never want him to feel bad. It was never your intention, however, it was going to be more embarrassing if you all got caught and thrown out on your ass than just being honest.

“Wow. That’s pretty awesome,” Luffy breathed. His face was full of wonder as he continued to take in the large space. “All of this is just for one person?”

“Well…she lives here with a few other staff.”

“Yeah. A bunch of asshole staff,” you grumbled under your breath.

By the way, Luffy and Usopp were hanging over the side of the well - ick - neither of them had heard you. Unfortunately, your fellow rear buddies did.

“You don’t seem to be a fan of the staff?” Nami ventured.

You eyed her carefully. She came off friendly enough, but she wasn’t giving anything else away. The small smile on her lips wasn’t reaching her eyes. Instead, they were calculating and waiting for you to give her any information you were willing or unwilling to give.

Nami was incredibly smart and equally dangerous because of it.

“They do a lot of suspicious things,” you replied slowly, unsure of how much sharing was too much.

“I’m sure butlers don’t come harboring life-threatening secrets,” Zoro countered.

His hand shoved in a pocket while the other still rested on the sword. He regarded you the way adults do children making up fairytales. The way the townspeople looked at Usopp like a silly child always crying wolf. They both thought you were being silly, and you wish you could say their disregard didn’t make your chest cave in just a bit, but you never were a good liar.

“No, maybe butlers don’t,” you countered, “but people do.”

When neither of them showed signs of continuing on with the conversation you started forward following Usopp and Luffy. You didn’t care about whatever conversation Zoro or Nami were having behind you. They could’ve been discussing robbing the place blind for all you could care about.

You were worried more about the people than the objects inside.

“If you have an invitation, why are we going through the back way?”

Just tell them, Usopp.

“Oh, well I never go through the front entrance. This is more of a VIP entrance.”

“This guy is full of shit.”

“Yeah, but if he gets us inside who cares.”

Why was Luffy the only member of this merry band of misfits who weren’t incredibly grumpy?

“Usopp,” you called out to him in a warning.

He gave you a glance over his shoulder before he made his way over the giant lily pads without a reply.

Little shit, you thought as you realized he was very much choosing to ignore your existence. Did you blame him? Not really. You couldn’t remember the last time anyone had humored him this long and you were debating on if you should be the one to crush his newfound hopes and dreams.

Fortunately for you, you weren’t going to have to be the bad guy in that scenario. One already seemed to exist.

Just as Usopp reached the second lily pad, you knew something was wrong. The hiccup of an, “Oh,” that came out of him registering as panic. He was already turning back to stop Luffy from coming closer, almost begging him to go to another entrance - an extra special one - when he was interrupted by a knife plunging into the lily pad between his feet.

A very sharp knife. One you knew could’ve easily severed flesh or nicked an artery. Your blood boiled as you pushed past Luffy, your eyes darting wildly as Buchi stalked towards Usopp who stuttered past a greeting.

“What the hell are you doing here, Usopp?” He snapped as his hands lurched in to grasp the leather of Usopp’s top. “You know you aren’t welcome here.”

“I know nothing of the sort. I came to give Kaya an extra-special gift.”

You practically glided past the last lily pad when a sharp hiss cut the air. You didn’t necessarily need to look to see if it was Sham. You knew it was. She stood just off the first step from where they’d been disemboweling the hog, mop at the ready, and her teeth bared directly at you.

“He’s brought the doctor,” she hissed.

Buchi finally seemed to register your presence from behind Usopp and bared his own teeth in warning.

“You are definitely not welcome here.”

“A rather odd thing to say to a healer when your mistress seems to be suffering a mysterious illness.”

“An illness we are more than capable of handling.”

“I find that highly doubtful.”

With his hands still holding onto Usopp, Buchi leaned forward to growl - literally growl - in your face like a rabid dog. You wanted to poke him in the eye and were incredibly tempted to do so when a soft voice cut through the tension.

“Usopp! What a wonderful surprise!”

Everyone’s attention shifted as Kaya made her entrance on the arm of Klahadore. You took a step back and away from the two just so Usopp could twist himself free and walk towards the waiting mistress of the estate.

“I wouldn’t miss today of all days. Happy birthday, Kaya.”

“You remembered.”

My god, she was practically swooning and Usopp was eating it up.

“I could never forget.”

This feels awkward.

They acted like they didn’t have a captive audience watching them look at each other like two lovestruck teenagers.

It wasn’t hard to notice how Kaya beamed at him or how that attention brought happiness to Usopp. For as long as you can remember, even as children, Usopp always liked her. Sure, he would play it off as if they were just friends. There was no way she could see him that way, but when Kaya’s parents passed away three years ago what was between them seemed to change. Their feelings became something saturated in an understanding of loss. Usopp knew what Kaya needed because it was something he himself had never truly received.

So, did it bother you that she actually hadn’t greeted you yet? Not really. What did bother you, however, was the way Klahadore’s eyes slithered over to you. It made you feel like you were going to be sick.

“Usopp. Did you bring the doctor with you?”

Please, let me crawl into a hole and die.

There was something off about Klahadore. It wasn’t just because he made your skin want to completely crawl off your body. It was the way he sounded every alarm bell in your brain. The way your heart speeds up triggering the fight or flight response that was ingrained in your body's defense system. The way he continued to look at you as if you were a bug that needed to be squashed, only drove the feeling home.

“Oh, yeah. Kaya, I had Doc make you something for your cough. I figured it might be worth a try.”

God, he looked so happy. He was completely oblivious to how Klahadore seemed ready to smite you both where you stood.

You closed your eyes, taking in a deep breath. Maybe when you opened them he wouldn’t be staring daggers into your face.

Nope. No such luck.

“Oh, that is so incredibly sweet,” Kaya beamed.

Klahadore slowly set his hand out in front of him. The cold obsidian of his eyes never left your face as he spoke. “Please hand over whatever tonic you’ve acquired for Miss Kaya.”

You weren’t aware your hand was already in the satchel. Your fingers wrapped protectively tight against the cool glass of the bottle as you continued to stare at one another.

“Hand it over. Please.”

“No-“

Usopp’s hand on your shoulder stopped you cold. Your teeth ground tightly to stop your next words. You didn’t want to hand that asshole anything. Not when Kaya looked so damn pale.

Something is wrong.

The thought wormed its way into your brain until it gnawed at all other thoughts until it consumed every available spot. It was all you could think as your eyes continued to look over her frail frame.

Naan taught you that as a doctor, and as a healer, it was your job to fight for your patients. To always do what you could and what was best for their care. Was giving the medicine you made for Kaya to Klahadore best for her care.

No. No, it sure as shit didn’t feel like it.

Maybe that was why it felt like such a betrayal to take the medicine from your bag and drop it inside his gloved hand. You watched as his disgusting white fingers wrapped around the gray bottle and brought it up to rest closely to his chest.

“Now, Usopp we’ve had this discussion about coming here unannounced - and this time with a doctor.”

“Nonsense, Klahadore,” Kaya interjected. “They are my friends. What a sweet gesture it was, Doc to try and make me something. Usopp, did you come to tell me more stories about your adventures?”

“I can do you one better. I brought some of my crew.”

With a sweep of his arm, Usopp introduced Luffy, Nami, and Zoro who registered this gesture with sheer disbelief. Well, disbelief would be putting it mildly.

“Is he talking about us?”

Luffy sounded as confused as you felt.

“I’m sorry, but we do not have any room for any extra guests tonight, I’m afraid.”

“Oh please, Klahadore couldn’t they at least stay for dinner? It is my birthday.”

You hated how Kaya had to beg to have company that wasn’t her staff. You could vaguely remember the butler who was in charge before Klahadore had arrived. Mr. Thorburr had been an absolute delight and genuinely seemed to care about Kaya and her family’s wellbeing. If he was still in charge, you were positive he would’ve believed in letting Kaya outside to enjoy the garden or have friends stop by, even unannounced, to visit.

One day he was just gone and slowly the only staff that was left were these three assholes. It all felt awfully convenient or maybe you were just being petty because you disliked them.

The way Klahadore looked at her made your stomach turn.

“Anything for you, Miss Kaya.”

You wondered if he choked a little over each word as they traveled up his throat.

“Great!” Luffy shouted. “When do we eat?”

“You don’t. Not dressed like that. You will change and bathe before dinner. No exceptions.”

Everyone was willing to accept the invitation. The premise of a bath seemed enough to make Nami practically skip forward to be led inside by Sham. Your feet, however, refused to move. Usopp, Luffy, and Nami practically took the small stairs up to the patio in one giant leap. Your earlier dread from the day was back and something dark borrowed its way into your chest.

Something is wrong.

You were about to turn tail and run when you noticed Zoro stop at the edge of the stairs. His body turned slightly to eye Klahadore one last time before he turned to follow after his crew. It was small and barely lasted a second, but it was enough.

Zoro noticed something wasn’t right either and maybe, just maybe, he’d be the one to believe you. All you had to do was join him inside the house to talk to him. No biggie.

Taking in a deep breath you finally moved to follow behind Kaya and Klahadore. Your eyes intently following a particular green-haired swordsman and wondering how you were going to get him alone.

The showers seemed like a great place to start.

_______________________

As always, thank you for reading. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

3K notes · View notes

fushiguruuzzzz · 1 month ago

Text

xvi ⊹ ࣪ ˖ L is for Weezer

Series mlist

Tags — possibly offensive humour, mentions of self hatred, lwk angst I fear

Words — 1k

Megumi had tossed his phone haphazardly to the other side of his bed, falling back onto the pillow and staring at the ceiling. He felt so utterly stupid. Nobara was right, honestly. He couldn’t just give up, just back away every single time he felt exposed, every time he felt as if a deeper layer of him was being shown. It scared him more than anything, to allow you to see those parts of him knowing you might not react the way he hoped. With the reveal of the vulnerable parts also came the risk of being harmed, hence why he was so guarded. He found himself converting every emotion into anger, bubbling and bursting like a geyser when the time came. Worst of all, he’d let that time be with you. He wasn’t angry at you, not in the least. He could never be angry at you.

He was angry at Kamo for swooping in just when things felt right, he was angry at Nobara for bringing that on in the first place, and most of all, he was angry at himself. He’d pushed you away out of fear that his emotions were too much to bare, and now it had been two weeks since the two of you had shared a good conversation. He hated it. It was all his fault.

You couldn’t ever love him. He couldn’t even love him, he hated him. It was only natural that you’d do the same, after all, you seemed to be rather parallel. Always in the same direction, never meeting. He just wished it wasn’t that way, he wished loving you wasn’t so scary and that at the very least, he could man up and admit it. He’d never been a forward man. Instead he pushed you away and treated you like an asshole. When you called him out he couldn’t even argue because everything you said was true. Every word, every bit of it, except for the implication that you’d done something wrong.

Fuck, he felt like a middle schooler again. Living through university with you was just as heart wrenching, just as terrible. Yet again he found himself doing the wrong thing at the wrong time, every aspect of his life scrambled simply because you liked another boy. He’d never cared much for life, never found much purpose in his own, except for you. You… you were everything.

“Fushiguro, get up, man!” came a voice from the doorway, along with a jacket being tossed at him, which he swatted away without a second thought. Yuji had been at it all week, trying to make Megumi get outside for reasons other than classes.

“Screw off.”

Yuji suppressed a groan, tossing his head back in exasperation. “Todo’s frat is having a party tomorrow. You’re going.”

Megumi’s face pulled up into a scowl, disgust painting his features. A party, seriously? Did Yuji even know him? “No, I’m not.”

“You are,” Yuji pushed. He let out a soft sigh, voice coming out a little softer when he continued. “Please. Just once. Everyone’s getting worried.”

Megumi felt a pang of something in his chest. Guilt? Maybe. Compassion? Possibly. He let out an annoyed huff, similar to what your parents do when you beg for something before asking you to grab their wallet. “…fine. Just once.”

Yuji grinned proudly, internally fist pumping. “Yes! Okay, we’ll go tomorrow night at ten.”

“Hmph. ‘Kay.”

Meanwhile, you were having a similar conversation, though with far more pestering and far more people.

Toge was sprawled out on the carpet beside your bed, right next to Panda, whose circumference took up nearly half of the floors area. Maki was perched on her bed, Yuta standing idly at the bottom of it. Nobara, who had basically moved into your dorm by now, was sat at the bottom of yours.

“You’re coming.”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Please?” they simultaneously whined, except for Maki, who instead stared at you as if to tell you the choice wasn’t yours to make.

You slumped against the wall your bed was pushed against, grumbling under your breath. “Oh my gosh, why? I don’t want to.”

“You should get out, [name]. I’m concerned for you—we all are,” Yuta said, his gentle voice chipping away at your resolve. Screw nice boys and their soft spoken voices, and screw him for being your friend.

“Think about it,” Nobara said, propping herself up on one arm. “If you look really hot, it’s revenge.”

You rolled your eyes. “I don’t have much that’s ‘hot’ in my closet, anyway,” you whined.

“You’re saying that to a shopping addict. That’s music to her ears,” Maki called from across the room. Well, she wasn’t wrong. Nobara seemed to be jittering with excitement simply from hearing it, already picturing the next trip to the mall in her mind.

You mulled over it for a moment. There were both pros and cons included if you decided to agree. Pros: confidence boost, fun, quality time, happy friends. Cons: Megumi and Kamo were both likely to be there, considering (though Kamo more directly) they were both linked to Todo. It came down to the choice not of whether to go or not, but of whether you’d let a silly fight force you to be cooped up in your room wallowing in self pity, or if you’d push through. That realization alone was enough to force a nod from your head, a breath of air leaving your lips.

“Okay, okay. I’ll be there.”

Nobara, as well as the others, all lit up. Toge grinned at you from the floor, proud as if he’d done anything anyway.

“We have to go shopping!” Nobara said. You agreed with a soft laugh and a hesitant nod, blissfully unaware of the events that awaited you.

Taglist !¡ —

@1l-ynn @meowymeowbreow @missunrise @kiss-my-asscheeks @starrysho @good-mourning0 @gumims @beaniesayshi @mrowwww @luvvmae @megumislovedoll @azharyy @starsryi @tibibibi123 @idkidk32 @dazaisfavgf @tlissablr @vi0let-writes @walllflowerrrsss @sh0ot1ngst4r @blubearxy @tvnamayo @san-it-is-i-guess @harryzcherry @withlovesai

(Crossed out name means I can’t tag u!)

Megumi will forever be referred to as Firkle Smith Last name oooo… can’t listen to music so im miserable. You must be as well giggles this was kinda lazy but wtvvvv its okayyyy idk when to release the Yuji fic erm ill probably just wait for bttoh to be over and then post it we shall see…

#jjk #jjk megumi #jujutsu kaisen #megumi fushiguro x reader #jjk x reader #jjk smau #megumi fushiguro #megumi x reader #fushiguro megumi #fushiguro x reader

187 notes · View notes

raven-at-the-writing-desk · 9 days ago

Note

Hello, I came to say that dragons are mythical creatures often depicted to be possessive in mythology and literature, sometimes known for their immense power, territorial instincts, and the symbolic association with hoarding wealth and treasures...

Twisted Wonderland in context, Malleus Draconia was confirmed to be a dragon fairy (essentially a dragon who can take a shape of a man), and I was curious if Malleus may have exhibited possessive traits in canon, whether through main story or vignette...?

The reason I ask that is because mischaracterizing characters or making them OOC is the last thing I want to do when it comes to writing or analyzing...

**Sorry if I was not able to word it in a way that you can understand what I'm trying to convey because sometimes I feel inferior that my wording may come off as blunt or insensitive. I just want to leave a brief note that I don't mean to come off as rude or dismissive. I appreciate your understanding!**

In my opinion, Malleus in canon is protective but not possessive. What do I mean by that? Glad you asked. Let's start by laying down some definitions.

In this situation, when I say “protective”, it implies good intentions. It means actively looking out for others' safety and wellbeing. To be possessive, on the other hand, implies a more controlling desire to own or to restrict another's actions. It’s commanding and demanding all of a person’s attention and love. It means having a disrespect for others' autonomy and instead trying to displace it with your will. (Yes, I know that you're probably automatically thinking of The Big Exception of book 7, but I will address that later in this post so hang on for a moment!)

This gets long, so buckle up! We’ve got a lot to talk about.

First thing's first, a lot of the "possessive Malleus" interpretations originate from fandom, especially when it comes to yandere, yume, or generally romantic fan works. (And to be clear: This is NOT to shame the folks who enjoy these kinds of works; I am only listing them here as examples.) Oftentimes this occurs due to individual fans bringing in ideas from media outside the bounds of Twisted Wonderland. This is totally expected and normal; there is no such thing as someone who has an interest in ONLY a singular thing. We will naturally apply our previous knowledge to help us understand and interpret new information.

For example, in irl mythology, fae are hurt by iron--and even in Disney's own films, such as Maleficent, iron is depicted as harming fae and sapping them of their power. This led to many Twst fans headcanoning that iron does the same thing to fae in Twisted Wonderland. However, we learn in book 7 that this is NOT true. Fae, particularly nobles, do find the smell of iron nauseating, but the metal does not appear to impede their powers or hinder them in any way. Lilia and his men are still able to dispatch several Silver Owls (who are dressed in iron arm and battle with iron tanks and other machinery) without issue.

Another example that’s pretty popular is fans believing that whole “if you tell a fairy your name, it grants them power over you” thing. Some have claimed this will come into play in book 7’s final battle. Others claim this is the deeper or secondary reason as to why Malleus doesn’t reveal his own name to Yuu until book 5, as giving his name would grant Yuu power over him. However, there’s nothing in-universe to suggest that names have cultural significance to fae or that any sort of power or status is granted by relinquishing one’s name. Yuu (or Malleus’s hundreds of other classmates) have also demonstrated no such control over him.

Remember: what is true outside of Twst, including in Disney's own works, is NOT necessarily true inside of Twst.

Going back to the initial question, I believe that "Malleus is possessive" is also a headcanon of a similar vein; fans are coming into Twst familiar with other mythos which state that dragons are possessive, territorial, and greedy on top of being powerful. Because Malleus is a dragon fae and is known to possess great power, it's very easy for fans to see the parallels between him and the dragons they already know of. This then leads to them filling in the gaps of his personality and projecting other stereotypical draconic traits onto him. In Malleus's case, this was extremely easy to do because it took a few years for him to see any significant spotlight in both event stories (Glorious Masquerade) and in the main story (book 7).

I think the easiest way for us to analyze whether Malleus is protective or possessive is to examine his closest relationships in the narrative of Twst. I will not be counting Sebek and Silver individually here, as they are both his bodyguards and Malleus maintains a mostly professional relationship with them. Instead, we shall look at Malleus's attitude by looking at his relationships with Lilia and Yuu, then proceed into discussing related behaviors.

I believe it's indisputable that Lilia is one of the most important people to Malleus. Lilia trained him, taught him, and trained him. He is basically Malleus's father figure. The fear of losing Lilia is what causes Malleus to emotionally spiral and take drastic measures in a desperate attempt to avoid that unhappy ending. His entire motivation for unleashing his UM is "not losing [Lilia]!" You would think that if Malleus was going to be possessive of anyone, it would be with Lilia. But the truth of the matter is... he's mostly just... not? Lilia is a very sociable person in the student body. He's frequently gaming with Idia, taking care of or lending wisdom to others (Silver, Sebek, etc.), hanging out with Cater and Kalim in their club, interacting with dorm leaders and freshmen when Malleus is absent for ceremonies, and more--yet Malleus doesn't seem to express any jealousy over sharing Lilia. I'd also like to add that although Malleus lacks parents, he doesn't really show envy over Lilia treating and calling Silver his own son instead of himself. Oh, Malleus certainly does express jealousy to some extent. Who would forget the time in his Dorm Uniform vignettes when he crushed Lilia's phone? The thing is though, the times when Malleus is upset are not fueled by not wanting to share Lilia or wanting to monopolize his time. In the previous example I cited, Malleus broke Lilia's phone because Lilia had received a picture Kalim and the other dorm leaders took after a meeting. Even the dialogue exchanged implies this; Malleus did not automatically get mad when he noticed that Lilia had a notification, he only got mad after realizing he was excluded from something the other dorm leaders were all involved in. Malleus was upset that he was not invited, not that Kalim was texting Lilia. Additionally, it is stated that the dorm leader must grant permission for others to use the lounge. If he wanted to, he could withhold the permission for Lilia, who wants the lounge for his farewell party (which everyone is invited to), or stipulate that he wants a more formal affair with just Diasomnia members present. Malleus doesn’t act in this possessive way though. He grants Lilia what he desires without issue.

Next up for scrutiny is Yuu! Now, there's some gray area here because part of Yuu's relationship with Malleus is defined by how much the player projects onto the self-insert/blank slate character. Please note that, when I discuss Yuu, I am leaving out individual interpretations and going STRICTLY by the information presenting in canon.

It can be said that Malleus slowly develops a fondness for Yuu's company over the course of the main story. At first, he is surprised and maybe even a little disappointed that someone has taken residence in Ramshackle--it used to be desolate, which makes it a perfect spot to visit on his nightly strolls. However, Malleus soon finds amusement in the fact that Yuu, not being of this world, has no clue who he is or what his status is. This grants him the freedom to speak at ease with this human and to "be himself" in a way that he cannot be with others, who typically cower at his name. You could also argue that Yuu telling Malleus they may have found a way home expedited the despair he felt in book 7, as he learned so quickly that two of his friends would be exiting his life soon. This, however, is not possessiveness. It's normal to have fear and anxiety about losing the people you love.

Malleus's voice lines also do not indicate possessiveness. Yes, there's the usual and expected fanservice-y lines where he invites Yuu to come and engage in various activities with him, but nothing in those suggests he would exclude others or become upset if they also wanted to join. (Are you telling me that Malleus wouldn't want to talk for hours on end about the glory of gargoyles to TWO people instead of just one?????) Additionally, all the characters get similar fanservice-y lines, so it's not something exclusive to Malleus. There was one line that gave me pause: "You always seem to attract a crowd... More so than I'd like, really." Buuut I think this could be read a number of ways, not solely in an ‘I want you all to myself’ way. Malleus actually goes like to be alone, hence his nightly strolls. The line can therefore also be read as Malleus enjoying solitude or one-on-one conversations as opposed to addressing a group. In that case, it's a personal preference and not necessarily a sign of possessiveness. He’s definitely not completely averse to group activities though; there are lines where Malleus invites Yuu to do things with him and other characters. For example, from his PE Uniform: “Sebek has been badgering me to help train him. I'll permit you to join us. ... You're coming, I trust?”

The guy generally doesn't get angry or annoyed if Yuu mentions having other friends or managing the 7 member VDC/SDC group. In fact, he sometimes encourages Yuu to interact with others. One of his birthday lines is, "You needn't linger and focus on me to the exclusion of others. I want everyone to enjoy the party, yourself included." Malleus doesn’t so much as flinch or react when a complete stranger kisses the back of Yuu’s hand either. If he was truly possessive, wouldn’t he have gotten angry or—at the very least—have frowned or tried to put some distance between Yuu and said stranger? Yet Malleus doesn’t really react or comment on it despite being present.

Malleus seems to understand that it's not very polite to demand all of someone's time or attention--and this makes perfect sense of his character. He is a royal, and that means he was taught proper manners. Malleus has even indicated before that his grandmother stressed the importance of observing etiquette, particularly around invitations. You don't just invite yourself to functions or insert yourself into others' lives if not extended said invites... and Malleus, for the most part, adheres to those rules. In various voice lines, he even frets over committing social faux pas, wondering if he has offended his peers with certain behaviors. For example, from his Masquerade Dress: "Flamme shoots me stern looks on occasion. Have I behaved improperly in some way...?"

Malleus is also not generally possessive when it comes to his items or territory. He wants to share cake with others; eating a whole one gave him heartburn and now whole cakes are his least favorite food. Additionally, he tends to welcome people to Diasomnia rather than chase them out or expel them. (After all, they so rarely get visitors in the first place.) Malleus will at least hear out the reasoning for seeking him out. As an example, Leona (someone who has had a rocky history with Malleus) goes to Diasomnia in his Ceremonial Robes vignettes to exchange robes after a laundry mix-up. This is a stark contrast to the highly territorial Leona, who attacks a magicless human in thd Botanical Garden and also allows his own students to wail on Yuu and co. for simply walking being in Savanaclaw. Leona joins in on this bullying too. I think it's pretty clear that Malleus handles guests with far more tact, grace, and patience than his fellow prince.

I want to point out that though Malleus is usually amicable with guests, there are exceptions. Ramshackle, as I mentioned earlier, is a place he enjoys a lot. He indicates in his Halloween Dress card that “If anyone dares to damage [this] dorm, I will be as a lóng and reduce them to cinders. I have become rather fond of that place, after all.” Indeed, he does act on this promise in Terror is Trending and comes close to striking down Magicam Monsters for disrespecting a place he holds so dear. Is this possessive though? Yes, it’s a place he loves—but it’s also a place where his friend Yuu lives.

There are many other examples of Malleus going to extreme lengths to protect the things he loves. He vows to destroy Rollo Flamme, who poses a threat to his people, the fae (who depend on magic as their way of life, and the sentient gargoyles, whom he has recently befriended. He unleashes his mighty magic to attack those who wound his pride. He stops time and kidnaps the entire student body all for the sake of including ghosts in a Halloween celebration. And, of course, he sends Sage’s Island to sleep in a desperate bid to stop losing everyone. The majority of these behaviors involve him lashing out at those who pose legitimate threats to things he cares about. It’s not as though be is acting for no discernible reason or because he is doesn’t want his loved ones being with people other than him. Does that make these actions right? No, absolutely not. But I would say they are definitely more protective than possessive.

Very rarely is Malleus actively preventing his peers from spending time away from him. Sure, he gets upset that he’s not invited to join them and sure, he wishes people would invite him too—but there’s a difference between longing and being mopey about this and acting so domineering he’s breathing down the necks of others to only be with him. He is not stopping people from being with their friends and family. He is not stopping people from using his things or entering his territory. Even when he makes everyone sleep, he grants them the space to craft their own dreams and doesn’t even make the dreams center around him and his own involvement on their lives. Oftentimes the dreams involve several other characters that are important to the individual dreamer and Malleus does not appear at all. (Again, this doesn’t mean using his UM was the best move to resolve his issues; I’m just saying his actions were not necessarily possessive.)

So, in conclusion, I stand by the thesis at I proposed at the start of this post: Malleus is largely protective, not possessive, despite what many fandom interpretations would have you believe.

155 notes · View notes

gotta-get-back-to-hatchetfield · 1 year ago

Text

Help! I loved Nerdy Prudes Must Die and am curious about Nightmare Time but don't really have time to commit to watching it all... (a handy guide)

For those of you who don't know Nightmare Time was a series of Hatchetfield one shots that starkid wrote and recorded during lockdown, all of which are of course available for free on YouTube. They go a lot deeper into the lore than the 3 Hatchetfield musicals, including explaining and explore the characters we know and love in more detail, sometimes including shocking revelations.

They also introduce new characters to the Hatchetfield universe, including Stephanie Lauter, Grace Chasity and Pete Spankoffski, who we first met in a Nightmare Time episode.

As they were filmed in lockdown the recording quality is somewhat variable, but Season 2 has a much higher production value than Season 1, and in Season 1 Episode 1 in particular they were very clearly trying to find their feet with it. That being said the actual scripts and content of the episodes is solid throughout.

I've decided to put together this handy guide of which Nightmare Time episodes people might want to check out if they want to learn more about certain things we saw in NPMD.

1) Nibbly - Honey Queen (season 2 episode 1)

If you're curious to learn more about the Lords in Black each of them (bar Wiggly) have an episode of Nightmare Time devoted to them.

For Nibbly, Wiggly's hungriest and pinkest brother that episode is 'Honey Queen' in Season 2 Episode 1.

It explores a very entertaining rivalry between Linda Monroe (from Black Friday) and Zoey (the annoying barista from Beanie's in TGWDLM) that naturally turns very very dark. We also get to meet Linda's husband Gerald who she spends most of Black Friday on the phone to.

As a heads up Nibbly doesn't appear until, shall we say, the end of the episode (with Hatchetfield there's always a twist) and he's not in the super sexy form from NPMD but it's a very strong episode and does give a bit of background to Nibbly's deal.

2) Tinky - Time Bastard (season 1 episode 2 part 2)

If you're curious to learn more about this yellow motherfucker played by Curt then you're in luck because he's in my personal favourite episode and one with a lot of interesting lore surrounding it.

If you're curious about what he means when in NPMD he says 'I could add another Spankoffski to my set', Time Bastard is focused around Pete's brother Ted (from TGWDLM) and the dodgy dealings of CCRP.

It's an extremely clever episode, with lots of really fun twists. It's unfortunately season 1 so has slightly lower production quality, but in terms of raw scripting is just outstanding and has some really interesting reveals about people in the Hatchetfield universe who may not be who we think they are...

Also worth noting that this is in the same episode (Youtube video) as a different Nightmare Time episode 'Forever and Always'. Most episodes work like this where you have two different stories per episode, they absolutely can be watched independently but usually have some sort of thematic link (in this case it's the things we do for love and how they will inevitably be thwarted by CCRP being sketch).

3) Blinky - Watcher World (season 1 episode 1 part 2)

And if you're curious about the one who's always watching you, he's actually the first Lord in Black we meet through Nightmare Time, in the very first episode when Bill and Alice Woodward (TGWDLM) go on an ill fated trip to a spooky theme park.

Again this is from the first episode so production quality is low but it's a really solid episode and a very interesting look into these characters.

While this is our first meeting of a lord in black in Nightmare Time, I don't believe he's actually referred to as such, and the concept of the Lords in Blacks being introduced as Wiggly's brothers comes in at point 5 on this list.

4) Pokey - Yellow Jacket (season 2 episode 4)

You've already met Pokey through TGWDLM (yep that was his blue shit that destroyed the world!), but you won't truly realise how fucking scary he is until you meet his incarnation 'Otho' in Yellow Jacket.

A solid episode exploring Lex, Hannah and Ethan in a lot more detail, and in a world and lives where (at least at the start of the episode) things seem to be a lot more stable for them than in Black Friday.

And yeh as I've already mentioned Pokey is fucking s c a r y in it. Also you remember James Tolbert's character, Charles that gets a little cameo in Hatchetown? Well he's the main human antagonist of this episode!

We also learn a lot of lore about 'the gift', the thing that makes Hannah able to do magic.

5) The concept of the Lords in Black generally - The Witch in the Web (season 2 episode 3 part 2)

If you're curious about why everyone's been posting pictures of those evil teddy bears and now even more confused that you've met them all as fucked up high school students, the Witch in the Web is the episode where we're first introduced to the 'they don't care bears' as a set.

This is a really cool episode, again about Lex and Hannah, but it also exploring Uncle Wiley (from Black Friday) in a lot more detail.

We also first meet two characters called Duke and Miss Holloway who together form the ship Holloduke that if you were following any of Starkid tumblr during lockdown you will definitely have heard of. They're really cool!

Here we also meet Webby, Hannah's imaginary friend in Black Friday, who turns out to be the lord in black's sister: a queen in white. And she's dope.

6) Pete Spankoffski, Stephanie Lauter and Grace Chasity - Abstinence Camp (season 2 episode 2 part 2)

We first meet the now beloved characters of Pete and Steph and the slightly less beloved character of Grace in an evangelical abstinence only camp. The episode centers entirely around these characters and plays excellently with tropes of the horror genre.

It also has the best song in all of Nightmare Time and it's up to you to decide if I'm talking about 'oh my god it's the axe-man' or 'virginity rocks' (it's both, the answer is both).

That's pretty much it in terms of Nightmare Time episodes that cover things from NPMD, but in case you're curious here's a quick run down of what the rest are about:

The Hatchetfield Ape Man - season 1 episode 1 part 1. Hidgens makes Ted pretend to be a Tarzan style half monkey, half man thing to con Angela Giarratanna out of her inheretence.

Watcher World - season 1 episode 1 part 2. See bullet 3 above. Alice and Bill Woodward go to a theme park and shit hits the fan.

Forever and Always - season 2 episode 2 part 1. Paul and Emma get married. Things are not as they seem (there are robots). One of my personal favourites.

Time Bastard - season 2 episode 2 part 2. See bullet 2 above. Ted fucks with time travel and things end very badly for him. Best episode imo.

Jane's a Car - season 2 episode 3 part 1. Turns out the soul of Tom Houston's ex-wife Jane, who died in a car crash, transferred into the car. This somewhat complicates his budding relationship with Becky Barnes.

The Witch in the Web - season 2 episode 3 part 2. See bullet 5 above. Hannah Foster's having nightmares and somehow a witch and Uncle Wiley are involved. Luckily a good witch (Miss Holloway) is there to try and help.

Honey Queen - season 2 episode 1. See bullet 1 above. Linda Monroe and Zoey Chambers compete to win the Hatchetfield honey queen beauty pageant and things spiral wildly out of control. My personal favourite episode from season 2.

Perky's Buds - season 2 episode 2 part 1. Emma's finally achieved her dream of owning her own pot farm. Just her, her non-binary farm hand Ziggs and some very evil birds.

Abstinence Camp - season 2 episode 2 part 2. See bullet 6 above. Pete, Steph and Grace go to a retreat in the very creepy woods to learn one way or another about the perils of pre-marital sex.

Daddy - season 2 episode 3 part 1. Remember Sherman Young (Jamie's weird creepy guy from Black Friday)? Turns out there's something very weird going on with his mum. We also learn a lot about Frank Pricely (owner of toyzone from Black Friday) in this episode, who turns out to be a very interesting character.

Killer Track - season 2 episode 3 part 2. Miss Holloway must take extreme action to save a young girl and then the whole world against an evil song that kills anyone who listens to it. We learn a lot more about Holloway as a character and she is soooo cool. Another favourite episode of mine.

Yellow Jacket - season 2 episode 4. See bullet point 4. Hannah seeing her sister struggling to provide for them financially decides to find a way of using her power to earn some spare cash.

Hey Melissa - episode aired only on a livestream, type it into youtube and it'll come up. If you've ever found yourself asking 'what if Mariah's secretary character from the start of TGWDLM was really into dom pup play and Paul Matthews was her little pup bitch and she was also a horrific out of control serial killer?' then a) are you Matt Lang because if not I'm concerned? and b) by god this is the episode for you!. I personally really enjoy it I think it's super funny, but obviously heavy trigger warnings for abuse and sexual content warnings (there's a reason they didn't put this in the real series). Fucking excellent tho.

#starkid #npmd #nerdy prudes must die #the lords in black #tgwdlm #nightmare time #black friday #nmt

1K notes · View notes

thefadecodex · 10 days ago

Note

So what spirits do you think the Evanuris were? Like Elgar'nan would be Command, Mythal -> benevolence, Solas is wisdom -> pride, but what do you think the rest were?

I like to think June is Inspiration (made the eluvians), Sylaise would be Harmony, Dirthamen/Falon'din are the shattered remnants of Wisdom (<- i get this from this quote on Dumat: "in silence is the beating heart of wisdom). Dirthamen would be Knowledge -> secrecy/deceit(?) and Falon'din would be Learning corrupted into Hunger?

Sorry for the rambling- but I love this blog and Evanuris being former spirits just fascinates me!

Well met, wanderer of the Fade!

I have thought about this a lot, honestly, and I’m still coming to my final conclusions on the nature of the Evanuris. However, here are my current thoughts until I reach that section to dive deeper:

June – Innovation (The creation of the eluvians speaks to a mind driven by invention and transformative creativity.) When corrupted, it becomes Obsession.

Sylaise – Harmony (Her association with peace, fire, and the nurturing aspects of elven society suggest a spirit tied to balance and cohesion.) When corrupted it becomes Stagnation.

Ghilan'nain – Creation (Her association with shaping creatures, monsters and guiding them ties closely to the act of bringing something new into being.) When corrupted it becomes Hubris*.

In this context, I wouldn't use hubris and pride to be the same. Think of pride as believing you're the best in the room, while hubris is believing you're above the rules of the universe.

Andruil – Competition (Her obsession with the Hunt and her repeated challenges to other gods suggest a drive defined by rivalry and dominance.) When corrupted, it becomes Madness.

As for Falon'Din and Dirthamen, I’m still untangling their threads, but I’m leaning toward them being shattered fragments of Discovery.

Dirthamen might represent Knowledge, with a drive that, when twisted, becomes Secrecy—hoarding knowledge for himself rather than sharing it.

Falon'Din could align with Learning, corrupted into Hunger—an insatiable need to consume, understand, and claim everything in his reach, even the souls of the dead. Which also aligns with comments made by Solas in DAI about Falon'Din's desire for worship.

I love your interpretation of them as remnants of Wisdom, particularly with the connection to Dumat’s quote: "In silence is the beating heart of wisdom." It aligns beautifully with their themes.

It’s such a fascinating idea to explore the Evanuris as once being spirits themselves—shaped, changed, and eventually corrupted by their own desires and the weight of their power.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Discussions like these are what make exploring this lore so rewarding.

May your path through the Fade remain well-lit!

—The Fade Codex

118 notes · View notes

moonlitstoriess · 6 months ago

Text

Across the Universe-ch.10 (Fenrys x Reader)

Summary: Y/n has everything she needs in life. A family, friends, a safe place she calls home and most importantly a male whom she loves. What happens when it all changes when Y/n finds out about the betrayal of her lover and her so called family? Well, ending up in Terrasen and in queen Aelin's court was not what she expected but what she will need to start her new journey full of surprises.

Warnings: Depictions of violence, Blood, Suggestive themes but nothing explicit yet.

See masterlist

She was falling, and there was only darkness around her. The sensation of weightlessness gripped her stomach as the air rushed past her ears, drowning out all other sounds. Panic surged through her veins like a cold river, but she fought against it, trying to make sense of her surroundings.

Just as she felt herself descending endlessly into the abyss, a faint glimmer of light appeared far below. It beckoned to her like a distant star in the night sky, offering a glimpse of hope amidst the darkness. Instinctively, she began to reach out, desperate to grasp onto anything that could anchor her.

As she neared the light, its warmth enveloped her, dispelling the shadows that had threatened to consume her. She landed softly on solid ground, her heart still racing from the adrenaline of the fall. Looking around, she realized she was in a vast, ethereal forest, where the trees shimmered with an otherworldly glow.

A gentle breeze whispered through the leaves, carrying with it a sense of tranquility that eased her troubled mind. She took a deep breath, filling her lungs with the fresh, crisp air of this mysterious place. Despite the initial fear of falling, she now felt a strange sense of peace settling over her.

In the distance, a figure emerged from behind a tree, moving gracefully towards her. It was Elara whom y/n had met once before in an illusion. Elara's eyes glowed with ancient knowledge, and her presence exuded a quiet strength that commanded respect.

"Welcome," Elara's voice was soft yet resonant, echoing through the forest. "You have arrived at the threshold between worlds. This place exists beyond time and space, where the threads of destiny intertwine."

Y/n hesitated for a moment, the memory of their previous encounter flickering in her mind. Elara had been enigmatic then, offering cryptic guidance that had puzzled her. But now, facing her again in this ethereal realm, y/n sensed a deeper understanding stirring within her.

"Who...who are you really?" y/n finally managed to ask, her voice barely above a whisper.

Elara's smile was serene, her gaze unwavering. "I am Elara, keeper of secrets and guide to those who seek truth. You have been chosen to walk this path, where illusions and reality converge."

"But....I thought you were an Ironteeth Witch."

"That, I am. But I am also much more than just my blue blood. I have a gift. I am a chosen one, just like you."

Y/n felt a surge of curiosity mixed with apprehension. "Why am I here?"

Elara's expression grew solemn. "You carry a burden that spans worlds, y/n. The gates are weakening, and darkness stirs in the depths. You hold the key to restoring balance, but first, you must awaken to your true purpose."

"And what is my purpose? My true power? I need answers and I am running out of time, Elara."

Elara regarded y/n with a steady gaze, her eyes reflecting the weight of centuries of knowledge and wisdom. She spoke slowly, her voice carrying a mystical resonance that seemed to echo in the chamber.

"Your purpose, young one, is intertwined with the very fabric of existence itself. The gates between worlds, ancient and powerful conduits, are in flux. They respond to your essence, your unique connection to the Book of Breathings. It is through this connection that you hold the key to their stability."

She paused, as if gathering her thoughts before continuing.

"To close the gates, you must understand their nature. The Book of Breathings, entrusted to you, contains the knowledge needed to recalibrate their energies. As for returning home, it is tied to your mastery over these gates. With each gate closed, the threads that bind you to this world and others will align, guiding you back to where you belong. Your journey will test your resolve, but trust in your abilities and those who stand beside you."

She placed a hand gently on y/n's shoulder.

"Remember, your power lies not just in spells or artifacts, but in your heart's conviction and the bonds you forge. Embrace your destiny with courage, for in doing so, you will shape the fate of worlds."

Y/n cast her a questioning look. "What about the Valgs? Does the Book of Breathings contain a text telling how to end them forever?"

"It does but so does another book. You do not need to get the Book of Breathings in order to find out how to end them."

Y/n's eyes widened "What?! Which book is it?! Tell me!"

But Elara just stepped back, expression softening slightly, showing a glimmer of compassion in her eyes.

"Be careful. You were lucky this time that you fell here instead of wherever the Valgs intended for you."

Y/n's mind raced with questions, but before she could speak, Elara raised a hand, silencing her with a gentle gesture.

"Listen," Elara said, her voice tinged with urgency. "Time is fluid here. The path ahead is fraught with challenges, but trust in your instincts and embrace the truths that unfold before you."

With those cryptic words, Elara began to fade, her form blending into the shimmering foliage of the forest. Y/n reached out instinctively, but her hand passed through empty air.

And then....

It was bright. Too bright, in fact.

She could hear some noises around her, but she couldn't open her eyes. Her senses were coming back but why did her body feel this heavy? Everything felt really fuzzy. It seems like she has no energy because she can't even move her finger.

Slowly, she opened her eyes, and even though everything was a blur, y/n knew that she was in her own room-

Oh, so that's why it is eye-blindingly bright in this room. Couldn't they draw the drapes over the window?

She grunted slightly and tried moving her arm to cover her eyes when a pair of hands gently put her it back down.

She said in a broken voice, "Bright. Water."

"Eva, pull the drapes over the window. Elide, go pour some water from the pitcher."

Her vision was still unfocused, but she could see a curly haired figure sitting beside her, caressing her hair gently.

As the drapes were drawn, the harsh sunlight dimmed to a more tolerable glow in the room. Y/n blinked a few times, trying to clear her vision as Elide returned with a glass of water, which she held out to her.

"Here, drink slowly," Elide said, her voice calm and reassuring.

Y/n took the glass with trembling hands, bringing it to her lips and sipping cautiously. The cool water was a relief against her parched throat.

Her gaze started focusing better and she saw that it was Yrene who was sitting next to her bed.

The healer leaned closer as Eva asked slowly, concern evident in her voice, "How are you feeling?"

Y/n managed a weak smile. "Like a large boulder was thrown at me," she muttered hoarsely. "What happened?"

Eva looked at Elide who in turn, looked at Yrene, both expecting the healer to explain the situation to y/n.

Yrene sighed before looking at her with a softened gaze, "A servant attacked you during dinner. We all tried fighting her, seperating her from you but she was very strong. As strong as someone who is posessed by a Valg could be atleast. She was too fast, but in the end, Fenrys managed to land a blow to her back when she was busy attacking Rowan. Even though she tried, she failed to choke you completely."

Elide sat near her on the bed. "But she did leave some nasty marks which is why Isolde had to bandage you up."

Y/n nodded, feeling a mix of gratitude and bewilderment. "Thank you," she managed to say, her voice hoarse. She winced as she gingerly touched her injured arm, where the servant's claws had left angry marks. The pain was a sharp reminder of just how close the encounter had been.

"I tried to heal you but for some reason Isolde insisted on kicking us all out of the room and healing you herself."

Y/n smiled slightly, knowing the healer probably thought that she wouldn't want others to see her scars.

But, her gratitude soon turned into confusion. "What happened to the girl? Did she get away?"

Eva fluffed the pillows behind her and gently pushed y/n back down as she replied, "Oh don't worry, Aelin and the others are taking care of that as we speak. Yrene got the Valg out of her."

Before y/n could speak, he continued "Right after the attack, while Rowan, Aedion and Chaol managed to take her away with the help of other guards, Fenrys scooped you up in his arms and winnowed you to Isolde. He was livid! Absolutely crazy! Yrene left to help them the second Isolde kicked everyone out, Aelin and Manon followed after they were sure that you wouldn't die while Lysandra, Fenrys and I stood behind, with you."

"Fenrys stayed with me?"

Yrene nodded her head "Yes, he was acting like a madman. Even went as far as to threaten Isolde that if she failed to save you, he would personally kill the healer himself-"

"What?!"

"Yes, yes once we were sure that you were alive just unconscious, he calmed down slightly and ended up apologizing like a million times to her. Anyhow, for the past two days we have all just been looking over you. Fenrys literally lives at your doorway by now with the amount of times he stands or sits there while we look after you."

Fenrys visited her that often? The realization made a warm, comforting feeling make its way to her heart. A feeling she thought was dead after Azriel destroyed her.

Elide put her hand on y/n's stomach, caressing her gently as she said "He is either here or wherever they are keeping the servant, questioning her. Aelin says that the girl doesn't speak to anyone but Rowan so they are letting him do the questioning."

"And what does she say?"

Yrene just shook her head "She just began speaking this morning and everyone left the second Rowan called them. So, we stayed behind, making sure you were fine."

Y/n nodded her head, dizziness taking over her as she slowly let her eyes close.

When she opened her eyes once again, it was dark outside, dark everywhere and there was no one in the room-

No. There was someone.

She could feel eyes on her. His eyes. He was in the room with her, watching her from somewhere in the dark.

She could sense how Fenrys’ eyes roamed all over her, the intensity within them burning a hole through her. The tension in the room was so thick, you could cut it with a knife.

Heat began gathering all over her body, pooling in her lower belly. Well, if he is going to sit in the dark, watching her, she might as well give him a performance. She wouldn’t be the only one feeling this hot and bothered.

Y/n sat up and stretched her legs and arms out, arching her back. The tingly sensation of stretching out caused her to let out a satisfied moan, loud enough to be heard in this dark room. Loud enough for the scent of Fenrys’ arousal to reach her.

“Heard you had been by my side the whole time I was unconscious.”

She lit up the candle near her while Fenrys came into view as he took up a seat on the small couch near the window and looked at her with an intense gaze, his onyx eyes somehow seeming even darker.

“Couldn’t have you dead in our world.”

“So, that is the reason?”

“What other reason would there be?”

“Your arousal tells a different story, Fen.”

"The girl said that she remembers nothing. We also found no collars, rings or bracelets on her which meant only one thing, the Valg have changed their game and are infesting others with a different way."

So he chose to ignore her comment. Very well, then.

She sighed "Well, maybe they do not need an object to invade someones mind anymore."

At his questioning gaze, she continued "Do you all have mental shields? Maybe yours are just too weak, allowing the Valg to enter as they please."

"What is that?"

What? He didn't know what a mental shield was?

Her eyes widened "Now I think I know why those parasites were able to destroy you all easily from within. In my world, Rhysand taught me and everyone else how to create mental walls, to protect our minds from any enemy. The Valgs wouldn't be able to enter my mind even if they tried because of how strong my walls are. Maybe I should teach you all so that none of you will be under any threat."

Fenrys nodded slightly, his gaze not wavering from her "That would be very useful....thank you."

Y/n didn't know why she smiled slightly while blushing but she did and she couldn't stop it.

"You look very beautiful with your hair down."

She turned her head back at Fenrys who was staring at her with genuine adoration.

"You have never seen me with my hair down?"

When she saw him shake his head slightly, she scoffed "Of course you have. When I first fell into your world, my hair was all over the place."

He chuckled quietly "Yes, but it was still tied. Never fully free. And since then you never let your hair loose in here."

She looked down at her lap, covered in the bedsheet "I tend to tie my hair in foreign environments where I don't feel safe. Even in Velaris, it took me some time to let my hair loose in front of the others. Guess it was that instinct all over again while I was here."

She heard him get up from his seat and slowly step closer as he asked, "Why?"

Well, she couldn't tell him why. She couldn't tell him that it was something she had been doing since she was old enough to understand. That when she still lived with him, he would beat her up if her hair was free and unbound. It always triggered something in him. And that was something she could never get rid of, not even long after his death.

So she simply said, "I don't know. Just something I always did."

Fenrys sat on her bed, right next to her and when she lifted her head to look at him, her breath caught in her throat because of how close they were. Their arms were so close that, if any of them even moved an inch, they would be touching.

He whispered while not taking his eyes away from hers, "You look beautiful. You always did, but now, you look even better."

She raised an eyebrow "So you openly admit to that?"

His expression remained serious "I never lie. Even if we may not like each other, I will never lie to you. You are very attractive."

Y/n was genuinely surprised at his bluntness and he clearly must have seen it on her face because he just smiled slightly and said, "I think that I enjoy seeing you shocked."

Y/n slightly leaned closer and heard how he sharply inhaled as she said with a smirk, "Well Lord Fenrys, you are very attractive as well."

She saw the lust slowly return to his gaze as her own body began heating up, goosebumps rising all over her skin at the look on his face.

She came even closer, her arm touching his, as she whispered "Do you remember the time in the training area where I told you that ladies must be blind if they choose to sleep with you? I lied. You are very....tempting."

What was wrong with her? What was she saying? This was wrong. So very wrong on so many different levels but did she care at that moment? No. Not even a single bit.

Maybe it was because of the lack of any sexual activity in her life recently, or maybe it was because she was still slightly dizzy and probably needed to eat something to get into a right state of mind but she did not care.

Fenrys just admitted that he found her beautiful. Why not reciprocate the feeling? Why not tease him....and hope for him to do something about it to her? It was in the dark of the night anyway. Come morning, and they would both act like this never happened. Just for tonight.

You said that same thing when you were in the forest of The Whispering Path with him. When you cuddled him to sleep.

But y/n chose to ignore that little sensible voice inside of her.

Fenrys' eyes darkened as he said in a low voice, "Don't start something you can't finish, little trouble."

"Promises, promises."

He fully pressed his arm to hers as he came so close, their lips were merely inches apart "You are injured and need rest. Wouldn't want your injuries to hurt more than they already do because believe me y/n, when I fuck, I do it like a wolf. Rough and wild. No lady was ever left unsatisfied with me."

And with that, he immediately got up but before he could leave, she said loud enough for him to hear, "I- I mean, we may not like one another but that doesn't erase the clear fact that for some reason, we both desire one another."

He did not look back as he reached the door, but she could hear the smirk on his face as Fenrys said, "Check your night stand before going to sleep again." and then, he closed the door behind him, leaving her alone in the room.

Y/n let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding and turned her head to the nightstand on her left to see a bowl of soup, warm bread and a glass of water near it. Did Fenrys just bring her food before she woke up?

Her lust turned into gratitude as her stomach grumbled a noise that informed her of her impending hunger. With a small smile, y/n took the bowl of soup with the bread, and began eating while overthinking what just happened.

But, she couldn't sleep. The fact that she had three days of sleep was enough to make her get up from bed and carefully change her clothes-

Mother above....the injuries clearly were bad if the amount of bindings on her shoulders, collarbones and neck were any indicator. Her neck? Really? It just got healed and now it is ruined again.

But apart from all that happened between her and Fenrys right now, she also had a million other thoughts. But the main one was 'How do the Valgs know of her?'

This whole thing was getting worse by the minute and she really was getting fed up with it all. If she couldn't sleep, might as well go out and explore the area. Find some answers, if she is lucky. It is the middle of the night anyway, no one will notice her flying.

Y/n winced when she moved her shoulder to flap her wings, but ignored it nonetheless as she flapped them a few more times before shooting up into the sky from her balcony.

She soared through the night sky, the cool breeze whispering against her wings as she glided over the palace rooftops. Her wings beat rhythmically, carrying her effortlessly through the darkness.

The forests here were truly big, seeming to go on for eternity which made her doubt if there even was a city here. But, all that suspicion got washed away the second she flied over the last couple of trees because what came after it made her eyes widen in awe.

From above, the city sprawled like a patchwork quilt stitched together by narrow streets and sprawling rooftops. Y/n's wings carried her effortlessly over the labyrinthine alleys, each one illuminated by the soft glow of flickering lanterns and the occasional dim streetlight. The city's heartbeat echoed through the night—a distant symphony of murmurs, laughter, and the rhythmic bustle of evening commerce.

Clusters of buildings rose in haphazard clusters, their architecture a blend of ancient stone facades and more recent timber constructions. Below, winding roads snaked through the city like veins, occasionally giving way to hidden courtyards and market squares that were currently empty due to it being late.

As she glided higher, the city unfurled beneath her—a living, breathing organism with a pulse all its own. The river that wound through its heart shimmered silver under the moon's gentle gaze, bridges arching gracefully over its tranquil waters. Beyond the city's borders, rolling hills and dense forests stretched into the horizon, their outlines softened by the veil of night.

This place reminded her of Velaris except it was much more quieter. Not in a bad way, no. Velaris was the city of starlight so it made sense why the streets there were always bustling, shops and cafes, music and art, everything was always open, lights were everywhere, making that place look like a giant lamp. This place however, seems to be more active during the day rather than night time, its residents would go back to their homes, leaving the streets mostly empty while fireflies would light up the way, creating a comforting glow. Seems like the residents of Terrasen prefer calm and quiet over loud noises and fun.

As she ventured farther from the palace, her keen eyes caught a glimpse of movement below—a figure moving with an eerie swiftness along the deserted streets. Curiosity piqued, y/n angled her flight path downwards, silently descending towards the shadowy figure.

With practiced ease, she landed on the edge of a rooftop nearby, her wings folding neatly against her back. Peering over the ledge, she watched as the figure navigated through narrow alleys and hidden passages, clearly trying to avoid detection.

Just as she prepared to resume her pursuit, another shape emerged from the darkness—a man with a cloak drawn tightly around him, his posture alert and purposeful.

As if he could feel her presence, the stranger lifted his head, their gazes colliding, and....she would recognize those gray eyes anywhere. It was that man, the messenger that appeared in her room when she first came here. Aelin said he was her messenger, what was his name again? Noah? No, but definitely something starting with N.

What was he doing here? Seems like he is also following this suspicious being. Whatever the case is, they both were after the same person, they could cooperate now, discuss later. Y/n gestured downwards, indicating the person she had been tracking. Nox nodded in understanding, silently joining her in the pursuit.

Together, they weaved through the night sky, maintaining a cautious distance from their target. Y/n's wings carried her effortlessly, allowing her to match the culprit's swift pace without alerting them to her presence.

As they followed the suspect deeper into the heart of the city, Y/n and Nox exchanged silent signals, coordinating their movements to avoid detection. They skirted rooftops and glided over bustling market squares, always keeping the suspicious person within sight.

The figure reached the outskirts where the city melded into the woods beyond. Without hesitation, she angled her wings and descended, aiming for a quiet landing on the outskirts of the city where the trees began to thicken and envelop the landscape.

The forest greeted her with a symphony of rustling leaves and distant nocturnal calls. Moonlight filtered through the canopy, casting ethereal patterns on the forest floor. Y/n moved swiftly and silently, her senses heightened as she navigated through the dense underbrush, careful not to disturb the nocturnal creatures that stirred at her passing.

Ahead, a flicker of movement caught her attention—a figure moving stealthily between the trees. Y/n approached cautiously, her heart pounding in anticipation. As she drew closer, she recognized it to be the messenger.

"It's you," Y/n said in a hushed voice, stepping out from behind a tree.

Nox turned sharply, his hand instinctively moving to the hilt of his dagger before he recognized her. He let out a breath before saying "What are you doing out here, y/n?"

She crossed her arms "Doing exactly what you are doing....?"

He saw her furrow her eyebrows, trying to remember his name and just smirked before giving her a mocking bow "Nox Owens, at your service, though, Aelin is the only one I serve."

She rolled her eyes playfully as his gaze took her fully in "Well, you are looking even more attractive than the last time I saw you, that's for sure."

"Um....thanks? You too?"

He let out a low chuckle at that "Very well y/n, I think we are both here for the same reason. We both think this person is Valg."

"How did you end up following them?"

He just smirked "A good spy never tells his secrets."

She raised an eyebrow "Spy? I thought you were a messenger."

He patted her shoulder before moving past her "A little bit of this and a little bit of that. Now, let's see where the weird suspect is going, yes?"

She sighed but decided to follow him. Two was better than one and its not like she could just go back to sleep after seeing this.

Y/n nodded, falling into step beside Nox as they quietly pursued the elusive figure through the dense forest. The canopy overhead filtered the moonlight into patches of silver on the forest floor, casting eerie shadows around them.

They moved with practiced stealth, their footsteps barely making a sound on the soft ground. Y/n kept her senses sharp, scanning their surroundings for any sign of movement or disturbance. Nox moved ahead slightly, his movements fluid and silent as he navigated through the underbrush.

Y/n and Nox pushed forward, their senses sharp and focused on tracking down the mysterious figure. The forest grew thicker as they pursued their quarry deeper into the night. Moonlight filtered through the dense canopy above, casting ghostly shadows that seemed to dance with every rustle of leaves.

They followed the faint sounds of movement, darting between trees and over fallen logs. Y/n's wings twitched with anticipation, ready to take flight if needed, while Nox moved with the quiet agility of someone who knew the woods well.

The figure they pursued seemed to be skilled at evasion, leaving behind only fleeting traces—a broken twig here, a disturbed patch of moss there. Each time they drew close, it slipped away into the darkness like a wisp of smoke.

After what felt like an eternity of pursuit, they found themselves at the edge of a steep ravine. Moonlight illuminated the chasm below, its depths shrouded in an impenetrable darkness. Y/n peered over the edge cautiously, scanning for any sign of movement.

Nox moved silently beside her, his gaze scanning the opposite side of the ravine. "They must have crossed here," he murmured, pointing to a narrow log that bridged the gap between the two sides.

Y/n nodded, her heart pounding with a mixture of adrenaline and frustration. "We can't lose them now," she said determinedly, preparing to cross the precarious bridge.

Just as she took a step forward, a low growl rumbled through the underbrush, causing both of them to freeze in their tracks.

Out from the dense foliage slithered a grotesque creature, its form a nightmarish amalgamation of human and beast, warped by the dark magic of the Valg. Its skin was mottled with sickly hues of gray and green, shimmering unnaturally in the dim light filtering through the canopy. Sinewy muscles bulged beneath its coarse, leathery hide, twitching with an unsettling energy.

The creature's eyes glowed with a malevolent light, pupils dilated into vertical slits like those of a predatory cat. Its elongated limbs ended in razor-sharp talons that scraped against the mossy ground, sending sparks of magic-infused energy dancing into the air. Fanged jaws parted in a hiss, revealing rows of jagged teeth stained with a viscous, black ichor.

As it advanced with a serpentine grace, the air around them seemed to thicken with dread. Nox instinctively drew his dagger, his knuckles whitening around the hilt. Y/n tightened her grip on her own weapon, heart pounding with a mixture of fear and determination. They exchanged a fleeting glance, silently communicating their readiness to confront the abomination before them.

With a primal roar, the Valg-spawned creature lunged forward, its movements unnaturally swift and erratic. Nox reacted first, darting to the side to evade its slashing claws, then swiftly counterattacking with a series of calculated strikes aimed at vulnerable joints and exposed flesh. His blade sliced through the creature's hide with a sickening squelch, drawing dark blood that sizzled upon contact with the forest floor.

Y/n's heart raced as she faced the twisted Valg-spawned creature in the dimly lit forest. With each swing of its monstrous limbs, fear and determination battled within her. As the creature lunged, she ducked and rolled away, narrowly avoiding its razor-sharp claws.

Adrenaline surged through her veins, heightening her senses. A strange sensation tingled in her teeth and fingertips, as if they were responding to some ancient call. In a moment of desperation, she gritted her teeth and felt the unusual hardness spreading through them. And just like the last time, her teeth elongated and hardened into gleaming iron fangs.

Her nails followed suit, transforming into formidable claws with a metallic sheen. The ancient magic of her bloodline awakened within her.

With newfound resolve, Y/n faced the creature head-on. Her iron teeth sank deep into its toughened hide, eliciting a startled roar of pain. She slashed with her iron claws, each strike delivering a resounding impact. The creature recoiled, its dark eyes filled with surprise and fury.

Beside her, Nox adjusted his stance and joined the fray. His dagger flashed with lethal precision as they fought in tandem, exploiting weaknesses and creating openings. Y/n's iron-enhanced strikes complemented Nox's swift movements, turning the tide of battle in their favor.

But, their luck was short lived as in an impossibly quick move, the creature managed to lunge for y/n, pinning her to the ground. She screamed in pain as her injuries harshly landed on the cold earth. When Nox tried to attack it, the creature used its long, slithery and heavy tail to push him into the rift.

"NO!"

Y/n's words were cut short as the horrifying thing bared its long, black and sharp fangs at her, readying to rip her apart. She would die now. It was time. She would die and no one would ever know-

In the blink of an eye, the horrifying creature was pushed off of her due to the force of something else. Something that was huge. She didn't see it at that second because all she saw was a flash of white fur but she saw it a moment later.

It was Fenrys. Or him as a wolf. His body may be different but she would recognize those dark eyes anywhere. Fenrys glanced at her only once before lunging for the beast. He teared and ripped through the creatures skin, even biting of one of its hands in the process.

Y/n's shoulder was fully bloodied now, causing her movements to slow down immensely. If she couldn't reach it in time, she would atleast throw the knife hidden in her boot at the creature. She was haphazardly trying to get her weapon out when she heard a loud roar of agony come from her side. She immediately turned her head at it and saw Fenrys was now on the ground, blood coming out of the side of his stomach as the ugly thing circled him.

Fenrys had endured horrors worse than this. He lived through and survived even harsher and more complicated conditions. He survived Maeve. He survived the first round of dreadful Valg-created monsters and he would survive this. He won't die because some new slithery Valg-creation managed to kill him. Never.

Fenrys kept telling this to himself as he managed to slowly get up, his energy slowly depleting due to the large cut on his ribs. He got into a defensive stance, baring his fangs as the dreadful thing stopped a few steps away from him, also baring its fangs. Instantaneously, they lunged for one another and Fenrys was about to aim for its neck when the monster fell back with a loud screech that sounded a lot like a cry.

Fenrys landed on the ground and barely managed to stand on his four feet as he saw y/n, with both of her hands right inside the beasts back. Her shoulder was bleeding nonstop, while her face was covered in dirt and blood. Yet none of those layers could hide that fierce, ruthless warriors expression as she closed her eyes, took a deep breath in, exhaled and then with a quick change of position, she had the creature on the ground as her hands finally ripped away from its chest and in them was......oh Gods.....she was there, all bloodied in both blue and black, her hair a complete and utter mess, her clothes ripped and dirty, her sharp iron nails and teeth shining under the moonlight and her hands, holding an old, rotting, black heart.

Fenrys' vision was getting blurry as he cast a quick glance at the now lifeless beast, with its mouth open and leaking black liquid. He heard the sound of squelching and slowly looked back to see y/n squeezing and destroying the heart before falling on her knees and squeezing her own shoulde-

He was swaying now, his eyes were about to close. Fenrys felt himself shifting before falling to the ground with a loud thump. Somewhere in the distance, he could hear her cry, he could feel a pair of hands on him as he managed to keep his eyes open for a little longer. Nox Owens. He isn't dead? He was saying something but everything was becoming a loud buzz in Fenrys' ears as dark spots began covering his vision.

The last thing he thought of before passing out was y/n. At that moment, she may have been covered in absolute filth but she was still the most enchanting, beautiful being across the universe. Something within him came to life, something he coudn't decipher. But......

Fenrys felt himself slip away completely as darkness enveloped him whole.

When he awoke again, everything was still blurry. But he could hear some chatter near him as his eyes slowly began clearing and Fenrys could see that he was on his bed, in his room. It wasn't night anymore, if the small hints of sunlight invading his room from under the curtains were any indicator.

With a low groan, he turned his head sideways and-

"Dorian?"

The room went silent as the king looked at him with wide eyes before quickly stepping towards his bed as Aelin exhaled a loud "Finally!" and Rowan said to Eva, "Go get Isolde."

Dorian came and pushed Lysandra off her chair near Fenrys, sitting on it, which earned him a glare from the shifter.

"Fenrys! You are alive! I knew my amazingly magical presence alone would bring you out of your unconsciousness!"

Lysandra smacked him on the head as her gaze turned softer the second she looked at Fenrys.

"We are all glad you are finally conscious."

Rowan sat on his bed with a small smile "It has been a day. That stuck up king came early this morning."

Dorian scoffed loudly as Lysandra and Aelin laughed "Look in the mirror, birdie, I am not the only 'stuck up' one."

Fenrys saw how these two were about to start a whole bickering session so he interfered quickly with a question that was on his mind from the second he awoke "Where is y/n? Is she well?"

And by the looks on the faces of his family members, the answer wasn't going to be a good one.

Y/n lost blood. Too much, in fact. First, she got attacked by that servant girl who wounded her shoulders and neck. Then, right after that, her healing wounds were reopened when that monster attacked her.

When Fenrys fell unconscious, y/n was busy ripping out her shirt in order to create a temporary bandage for her wound. Thank the Mother for Nox because she wasn't sure that she would be able to carry Fenrys all the way back to the palace with a bloodied shoulder and a completely drained body.

Nox himself had scratches all over him with a few small tree branches sticking out of his hair as he managed to lift Fenrys up, taking him from one side while y/n slowly got up and took his other side, getting under his arm. Their walk was made shorter thanks to Nox who knew secret shortcuts to reach the palace.

When they reached the residence, she was on the verge of collapsing but managed to force her eyes open as healers were called, as everyone got up, as Fenrys was taken into his bedroom. She barely remembers Manon's wide, worried eyes as she tried pulling y/n into her bedroom with Yrene so that she could also get healed. Y/n also remembers snarling at the witch, threatening the queen herself that she wouldn't leave until Fenrys was well.

She remembers not moving an inch from his bedside, displaying her sharp iron teeth at anyone who dared to even suggest her to go and get cleaned, get healed. But y/n could only hold out for so long before succumbing to her body's pleas. Before she too, fell unconscious on the floor, right next to the bed containing the male who fought for her.

She has been in and out of consciousness in the hours since then. Y/n slightly remembers her room being full with Aelin and her court, she slightly remembers Manon being by her side everytime she would wake and now, as her eyes slowly opened for the hundredth time, she thought the creature must have bitten her mind off, causing her to surely imagine the picture in front of her.

Lorcan was here. In her room. Standing face to face with Manon who was glaring at him while saying something. Yrene was also here with Chaol by her side, holding her hand as he tried to step between the witch and the man. Aedion was shaking his head while pointing his finger at y/n.

When Yrene saw that she was awake again, she quickly gasped "Y/n,"

That made the four others shut up and immediately look at her. Manon quickly ran up to y/n's side and gently brushed her sweaty hair back as she turned her head and told to Aedion, "Go get some water, the pitcher is empty."

Well, she was clearly going mad because what? Manon actually being caring? Lorcan being in her room again?

Yrene and Chaol also came to her side as the former had a soft smile on her face, "Y/n? Do you hear me?"

She slowly nodded her head, not taking her wide eyes away from the giant man standing near the door. What was he doing here again? If he came to fight her, now is not the right time. She might just take out her iron claws and rip him apart. An apology to Elide could come later.

When the others saw her glaring at Lorcan, Manon cleared her throat as she said in a frustrated tone, "He came and insisted on seeing how you were doing. Apparently he is worried but I could gladly tell him to fuck off if you wish."

And she probably would have. No, she actually should have let Manon tear him apart, but....the genuine look of concern and shame sparkling in his eyes made her sigh and say the next words, "It is alright, let him stay."

Manon looked back at her with wide eyes, "Are you sure? I know what he did to you, you don't need to-"

Y/n weakly put her hand on the queen's arm "Manon, please. I think me and him need to have this talk. Alone."

She saw how the witch was about to open her mouth to protest when Yrene just cleared her throat, nodding to the doorway while Chaol gave y/n a small smile.

As the three walked past Lorcan towards the door, he said, "We are outside if you need us."

She nodded her head at Chaol as they left the room, closing the door behind them.

Awkward silence stretched between them as Lorcan cleared his throat and came closer to her bed while softly saying, "I....I know that ever since the time you came here, I haven't been the nicest to you. In fact, I was horrible to you. I just....with the life that I have lived through, it was not easy for me to even trust someone, let alone a stranger from another place. I saw you as an enemy, a secret Valg, the root of all the problems and I was beyond mad when I saw how everyone was starting to slowly warm up to you. Thought of them as blind fools for not seeing you for what you are,"

A deep inhale and exhale.

Then, his mouth moved again, "I thought I did the right thing when I pinned you to the wall and said all that. But then, after Fenrys beat me up in his study, when I was getting healed, and scolded by everyone, I realized what a fool I have been. This is not easy for me to say but-"

"Lorcan-"

He fell on his knees, looking up at her "Y/n, please. I put you through hell so the least I can do is apologize. I am sorry, y/n. So ashamed and so guilty for what I did. I know that you won't forget it but I atleast hope you could forgive me for it."

He was actually sorry. In fact, he looked like he had the word 'miserable' written on his forehead. And while it is true that she would never forget all that he did to her, just like she never forgot anything else, y/n could still find it within herself to forgive him.

She sighed but gave him a small smile "I see why you may have seen me as a threat, Lorcan. In fact, I would have done the same if the roles were reversed and you suddenly ended up in Velaris. But, I am glad you owned up to your actions and apologized. You are right, I won't ever forget it but I can forgive it. I just hope that this means a friendly truce between us. Now please do get up, you are making me feel uncomfortable."

Lorcan smiled. He actually smiled while getting up again.

"Yes, Yes of course. We have peace, you and I. Thank you."

She smiled just as the door opened and both of them looked to see.....Fenrys being held up by Rowan enter the room. He was half naked, his torso completely wrapped up in bandages and bindings, his messy hair stopping right over his chest, his loose pants hanging over his hips. Lorcan immediately went up to help him but stopped when Fenrys cast him a glare before looking between him and y/n.

Y/n said, "Fenrys, we are fine. Lorcan and I made peace. You may relax now."

His body loosened a little but he still kept his glare on Lorcan as Rowan carefully brought him to sit next to her on the bed before dragging the giant man out of the room with him.

When the door was closed and they were alone, he let out a breath and closed his eyes.

He looked so tired, and his body seemed to have even more scratches than the last time she saw it. Y/n sighed but moved to the side, creating some space for the large male to lie in.

He opened his eyes at the sound and cast her a questioning gaze.

Y/n just smiled as she said, "You are tired. Come, let's lie on the bed. If you are comfortable with it of course."

What did she just do? Embarrass herself that's what. Did she truly think that what happened that day in the woods would happen once again here? Out in the open, in her room? In the middle of the day? While his family was just outside this door? He will laugh at her. He won't lie down because he would be embarassed-

Fenrys shifted his body very slowly, hissing at some point, probably due to the pain, before putting his head down on the pillow next to her and taking some of the bedsheet to cover his own body too.

"Your bed is much more comfortable than mine."

She just stared at him, not moving, not blinking and when he saw this, concern stretched all over his face as Fenrys asked "Y/n? Are you well? Should I call Isolde? What-"

"Azriel was embarassed."

His concern turned into confusion as she simply whispered, "After...um- after the war against Hybern, I was seriously injured on the battlefield. I managed to hide my whole blue blood secret by covering my wound with black bandages and when the healers were helping me, I made them swear never to say anything about that. So when I was lying in my cot, Az came to visit me, he was also wounded and tired just like you. When I told him to lie down next to me, he said that there are soldiers that are currently dying or suffering in other ways while I am asking him to cuddle. That it would be embarassing for him to do such a thing."

He slowly lifted his hand and let his fingers gently caress her cheek as he whispered back, "I would never be embarassed of you, princess. That Azriel is a damn fool for ever saying that. It was never your fault that he is a coward."

She felt such comfort. Never in her life has she ever felt this level of safety and bliss. She felt to peaceful that her eyes began to slowly close again. That is when she felt Fenrys gently pull her to him as he whispered, "You are truly one of a kind."

And as they both lay there, in each others arms, healing, their last thoughts were of each other as sleep sang its sweet melody into their ears, lulling them into dreamland.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @ladespedidas @mis-lil-red @going-through-shit @kaitttttttt @blackgirlmagicforever

@acotar-writing @paleidiot @snoopyspace @stained-glass-eyes0708 @saltedcoffeescotch

@wallacewillow0773638 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @crazylokonugget @bunnyredgirl

@fullmoon-94 @thecraziestcrayon @idkwahr

@sstrohma @optimisticbabydreamer @rcarbo1 @batboygirlie

195 notes · View notes

indornaga · 2 months ago

Text

The Animality of Humanity

i finally got a chance to sit down and listen to the new Nightwish album, and it hits the animal part of me just as hard as their other albums.

what is it about nightwish that makes me feral?

if you listen closely to their lyrics (especially these last three albums, but it applies to all of their albums) they talk a lot about the Human Experience(tm). but its not the human experience that we usually think of when we think of humans today--it's a lot of primal humanity, historic, from a simpler time and simpler way of life, from when humans struggled daily against the fickle whims of nature, against our fellow animals also trying to survive, and against their own instincts.

it took me a while to really listen to Human :|i: Nature because it sounds *so* human focused. every song is about human nature, as the title suggests, which put me off of it because it didnt feel like i could relate at all. but upon listening deeper, it tells the story of how humans are just as animal as any other. their music emphasizes the animality OF human nature, the capability of reverting to baser instincts in each human, of the human place in nature.

it took a few listens to really recognize it, but as a human with extra animal instincts, i was able to finally catch it: is it not animal nature to enjoy a good meal? for a social species to gather for a good cuddle and grooming? to come to the aid of a group member when in trouble? to scuffle with a threat, even if that threat is one's own species? to want progeny that carry on one's genes? it's certainly human nature to crave being in a natural environment, to see the trees and ground coverings, to see flowing water, the sky overhead. humans have a few extra instincts that dont seem it, but i also attribute to being animal; the love of music and song, and being storytellers. music and song is nearly universally loved. it awakens some sort of primal instinct in humans to move, clap, or sing along. storytelling has been used as a passtime for time immemorial, and again is nearly universally enjoyed. both of these are done with sounds; nonhuman animals use sound to communicate, and have been recorded to do sounds for fun as well. is that not what song and story telling are? communication?

early therian writings talk of doing totally human things to connect with their animality: taking hikes in nature, communing at gatherings, and most importantly, recognizing the animality in their human instincts.

we're lucky enough to be closer to the animal spectrum than most humans. but i think it gets forgotten about that humans are animals, and we tread a very fine line between the "sophistication" of humanity, and the ferality of animality. but that's the beauty of it; we're uniquely animal. we're something that our ancestors revered: how much of folklore is being in awe of or fearing nonhuman animals for their unique abilities?

i feel like that's what Nightwish's music really touches on, and why it's so good at awakening the ferality in me. also just the heavy guitar, drums, and the cadance of the songs hype up my primal predator brain lol i highly suggest giving them a listen. if only because the music is very feral.

#therian #alterhuman #therianthropy #otherkin

82 notes · View notes

tadc-harlequin-au · 3 months ago

Note

Hi! Please excuse any misspellings, english is not my frist language...

Firstly I just wanted to tell you that I love your AU! Your Harlequin au was what intorduced me to lovely TADC au Tumblr community and I absolutley love it! I haven't seen alternate universes as creative as these since the Sansverse era!

Secondly, I hace a question about the Patriarch: He seems to have a very good idea of who Caine is, wouldn't he be this world's equivalent to Able? I ask because althugh his design is WAY different from most fan Able depictions, he still has that "The Puppetmaster's brother" vibe that all Ables tend to have, a peace of Caine's past that he can never get rid of!

If he is not Able then I am curious of who he is, if he is then the lore just got spicier and if you don't want to spoil anything I'll understand.

But honestly: Keep it up! Your au has filled 70% of all my daydreams, the only thing I have been able to think about for a while has only been game mechanics, combat and chase sequences!

Damn y'all are fucking sleuths istg

Though I am very proud of that because that means my design philosophy worked somehow, and for that, I'll throw you guys a bone. And also because I can't keep it a secret any longer I've been holding it in since the very beginning of this au

YES.

The Patriarch of Puppets is none other than Abel, Caine's biological brother.

When I was first designing him, I wanted every aspect of Abel's design to scream "opposite of Caine", and to hold some form of symbolism. From his megaphone head, down to the color palettes, there is meaning. Don't get me wrong, Mushy's Able is a very memorable and awesome design and I could've incorporated him the same way I did Souls-like, but I wanted something deeper for Harlequin.

While Caine is adorned in golds and maroons to symbolize his warmer nature, Abel has teals and silver, a very cold and intimidating stature. Their outfits and the colors are an opposition towards each other yet reflect one another somehow, the way Abel dresses tightly and formal when Caine is loose and open, his intense red pupil conveys his hostility, whilst Caine's eyes are softer blues and greens.

His king-size height dwarfing Caine tells just how much the Puppetmaster felt living on his shadow, HELL, someone noticed the weird "A" on the sides of his head and I had to shrug it off because I didn't want to reveal it as early as that time.

Even the megaphone head design holds SO MUCH UNTOLD STORY BETWEEN THE BROTHERS THAT I WILL CHOOSE TO KEEP A SECRET FOR NOW. I've put SO MUCH THOUGHT behind his design.

*sigh*... Which is also why I very much dislike the "siren head" jokes, because it's the one thing I didn't really foresaw when I was developing his design until I finished, and someone pointed out it might cause jokes like that to prop up. Something I thought I wouldn't mind initially, until everyone made the same joke over and over again and I just audibly groan irl.

But you know. internet's gonna internet, they see one thing that resembles a popular media, it's an immediate connection. I didn't even give a shit enough about Siren head to know how the design actually looked like, just a silhouette of the guy.

Therefore, I would really appreciate it if saying this out loud would help lessen the jokes, but ik not everyone is going to see this post so.

I do still wanna thank you for your kind words, because these kinds of asks are the fuel to my fire of inspiration and motivation for this AU, and I wish that I can keep this fire going till the very end of this AU's story :')

#thanks for the ask!#tadc #tadc au #harlequin au #tadc harlequin au #the amazing digital circus #caine #the patriarch of puppets harlequin au #tadc harlequin au the patriarch

93 notes · View notes

horse-girl-anthy · 11 days ago

Text

essay on the UFO motif in RGU (and YKA) under the cut

one of the things that makes aliens so interesting is their versatility. YKA uses the classic alien invasion trope as the set up for its narrative; aliens as outsiders, infiltrating human society and sowing paranoia. as anyone who's seen the show knows, this premise is soon subverted. fear of the other is used by the invisible storm girls to justify securitization and eventual militarization, while the main characters work to break down the self-other dichotomy.

RGU doesn't feature its UFO motif so prominently; or anyway, it's not present from the beginning of the show, but instead scattered throughout. this marginality does not make the motif any less important, however. let's take a look at the text to see how the motif itself is used.

in almost all instances, UFOs and aliens are associated with the shadow girls. the first time they're mentioned is in episode 9.

in the skit, A-Ko insists she saw a UFO, while B-Ko says it must have just been a shooting star. they argue about this for a while, until A-Ko changes the topic to disillusionment: she knows that Santa Claus, wizards, fairies, princes on white horses, and kind-hearted, true friends only exist in fantasy. but she begs to be allowed to keep her belief in UFOs.

the inclusion of UFOs in this scene may not seem particularly meaningful. the skit draws a constrast between childhood illusions and adult cynicism, notably including "true friends" on the list of fantasy creatures. with hindsight, though, this choice does seem purposeful. maybe A-Ko wants to believe in what the UFOs represent, which is more clearly spelled out as the show goes on.

in episode 12, the shadow girls list "normal things" for people to do: study normal subjects, get a normal job, fall in love normally, get married normally, have a normal family, and live a normal life. but they conclude that being normal "has nothing to do with them" and proceed to board a UFO so that they can "go back to what's normal for them."

this is an obvious parallel to Utena's arc in the episode, where she rejects how society wants her to act and reclaims her own normal. but it's also telling us something about the shadow girls.

the shadow girls don't just "want to believe" in UFOs--it seems that they are aliens. they're "from Planet Kashira" according to Ikuhara; "Inhabitants of Planet Kashira" is the title of the shadow girls track on the first OST.

I think what this is telling us is that the shadow girls are outside observers. they're not natural citizens of Ohtori but exist at a remove from it. they can interact with the story, but they're a constant reminder that something beyond it exists--that the "rules of the rose crest" are not the laws of the universe.

from episode 13 on, the shadow girls put on their plays after returning to earth from their UFO. episode 24 ends with an encounter between Suzuki, Yamada, Tanaka and the UFO. we see the "monkey-catching-robot" again; once it successfully bags its prey, it enters the craft and flies away.

I could probably provide a reading of this scene if I tried, but mostly, I think it's there to round out the Black Rose arc. it's rather tongue-in-cheek; the UFOs are a part of the silly side of RGU. this eccentricity is humorous, but in my view also tied to the theme of individuality, which requires unapologetic strangeness. there's also something to be said for RGU's use of the inexplicable and uncanny, which often have a far deeper impact on the audience than concrete story elements.

in the final arc, the shadow girl plays begin with their UFO crashing into the chairman's tower. this is as clear a metaphor as one can hope for: the shadow girls and their alienness are a destabilizing force. maybe they're not revolutionaries--the crash appears to be accidental--but their randomness, their strangeness, their lack of propriety are a threat to the order, the masculine rule represented by Akio.

that's about it for the shadow girls. but as I mentioned, aliens are brought up in another context: the episode "Nanami's Egg."

the line "Nanami's some kind of space alien" is rather famous, and that part of the episode isn't hard to read. she's worried that she's seen as a freak, an other, by her peers. however, we also get a return of the motif at the end of the episode.

after abandoning her egg, Nanami is unable to put it out of her mind and runs out into the night to find it. she sings and dances with it, but after a bedtime conversation between Utena and Anthy, the show cuts back to Nanami, now bereft of her egg again.

she finds it, grown 100 times larger, propped up in the woods. she promises never to abandon it again, but it seems not to forgive her, shooting strange beams at her in attack. then it fades and lays before her, cracked open.

I think this scene is adding a new dimension to the egg metaphor: in the final moments of the episode, the egg becomes a symbol of Nanami's self. she tried to be rid of it, as she killed the cat--but just as she did then, she found herself regretting it. but she's unable to forgive herself for it, feeling that she's betrayed herself and lost something very important for the sake of a false normality.

to finish this essay, I'd like to reflect on how the motif of alienness is reflected in the larger themes of RGU. in the episode 11 commentary, Ikuhara wrote the following:

I tried to live true to myself. “You’re just like an alien,” someone said to me one day. They must have been telling me, “You’re not normal.” In other words, apparently “living true to yourself” means “living as an alien.” And so I became “an alien all alone in this world.”

alienation, individuality, and deviance are all major themes in RGU. the shadow girls present a positive image of what it means to be an alien: they are carefree and unconstrained. however, for the other characters, being an alien--an individual--is not so easy. it sets them apart from the social order and may even put them in danger. therefore, RGU depicts the defiant joy of deviation, along with the pain that often accompanies it. individuality may be a threat to the system, but that's exactly why it's difficult to achieve.

finally, "alienness" serves as a great metaphor for self-other encounters, as I've touched on throughout this essay. if we are individuals, that means we are fundamentally separate from one another, because we cannot experience each other's experience. thus, we are each of us aliens to each other.

Anthy asks Utena this question as if she truly does not know, as if Utena is some mysterious being encountered in a dream. they are drawing closer together, and so the fact of their alienness is only becoming more pronounced. it will take the rest of the show to find out if contact is possible.

#rgu #commentary

72 notes · View notes

foreingersgod · 9 months ago

Note

need need need something about Caitlin being obsessed with her girlfriend and talking about her non stop in interviews, insta ect

Obsessed . CC

pairing: caitlin clark x reader

synopsis: caitlin always finds a way to talk about you

A/N: NOT PROOF READ

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

1. interviews

it was the end of an amazing game, not just for iowa, but especially for caitlin. she hadn’t played a game that well in her entire career, scoring more than her average and making shots from deeper than ever before. she had everyone on their feet the entire night cheering for her as she completely annihilated the other team.

you were there to watch her, as you were every other game. watching caitlin play had to be one of your favorite, most rewarding things to watch as a girlfriend. she’s worked for hard for long and she was finally getting the recognition she deserves.

after the post-game excitement had worn off, the team prepared for the following interviews. typically, you didn’t stick around for them, opting to head home and wait for caitlin so you could congratulate her in your own special way. but with such an amazing game for caitlin, you decided to stick around and watch.

it was like she was a natural, surrounded by all the microphones and flashing cameras. she looked proud and confident, ready for any and all questions. they asked her the usual questions and she answered assertively. but one particular question caught your attention.

“the effort you’ve put into basketball has been apparent throughout your career, but your fans want to know more. who do you credit for keeping you so motivated and successful off the court?”

she bit back a smile, lip tugged between her teeth as she listened to the interviewer. caitlin looked out into the sea of people, eyes finding yours somewhere in the back before answering.

“yea, no there’s a lot of people i could think of that have been absolutely incredible,” she said “you know obviously my parents and bothers, my teammates and friends. they’ve all been really supportive of me. but i do also want to credit my girlfriend, YN. i mean she’s been there for me day after day, she’s really the reason i’m able to keep going and i definitely wouldn’t be where i’m at now if it weren’t for her. so yea, i have a truly amazing support group behind me, it’s wild.”

you couldn’t help but blush hearing her mention your name up there. she was so sweet and so modest when it came to things like this and she always made sure you knew how much she really needed you.

after the interview, she came up to you, sweaty and exhausted. a big goofy grin still glued to her face as she gravitated into you.

“i love you so much” she said to you “i meant what i said in there, i really don’t know what i’d do without you”

you pulled her into you tighter, so close you could feel her pulse as your lips met the back of her ear.

“i love you more”

2. social media

caitlin posted you on a regular basis at this point (and you posted her just as much). she was so whipped, always posting photos of you to her instagram to show you off.

caitlinclark22

♡ liked by its.yn, katemartin03, and 799,403 others

caitlinclark22 obsessed with you @its.yn

view all 25,234 comments

its.yn baby :’)

⤷ caitlinclark22 it’s true <3

gabbie.marshall my moms actually

ur.sister the cutest couple everrrr

user7838 brb crying right now

caitandynfan PARENTS

katemartin03 this is making me tear up i’ll be honest

⤷ its.yn stawppp

caitlinclark22

♡ liked by its.yn, caitlinfan180, and 876,221 more

caitlinclark22 i’m in love with you in every universe, happy anniversary @its.yn

view all 36,479 comments

its.yn i’m actually so in love with you it’s insane

bueckersgirl52 this is the cutest thing i’ve ever seen

jadagyamfi soulmates fr

ynsbiggestfan i love them guys omg

3. around your friends

she honestly didn’t even know she did it because if she did, it would be way worse. the amount of times you got brought up in conversation was starting to get a bit ridiculous. yours and caitlin’s friends love the both of you, thought you were perfect for each other, but if they had to hear ‘YN said’ or ‘you know what happened with YN the other day?’ one. more. time. they were gonna lose it.

caitlin just loved talking about you. she spent every waking moment with you anyways so it was especially hard to not bring up in some sort of way. she really couldn’t care if her friends got sick of it or not.

“hey caitlin” kate asked as the team sat around the living room of your apartment. caitlin had invited the girls over to chill for the night, catch up without the weight of basketball hanging over their shoulders “i had meant to ask how that new restaurant downtown was?”

“oh man it was awesome” she responded “if you get the chance, definitely go. the food was incredible, you know me and YN actually wen-”

“caitlin i love you, but i swear to god please spare us from whatever mushy gushy relationship stuff you’re about to tell us” hannah chimed in from the seat next to caitlin. the girls laughed, glad she spoke up before caitlin began rambling about you again.

“whatever, you guys are just jealous” she rolled her eyes, playfully shoving hannah’s shoulder.

she didn’t mind how the team grew tired of her rambling, she probably would be too if she were them. but you were the soul thing that occupied her mind and she wouldn’t give that up for anything.

#caitlin clark #caitlin clark x reader #caitlin clark oneshot #cc x reader #wcbb #wcbb x reader #iowa wbb

347 notes · View notes

justhereforsomethingnice · 2 months ago

Text

Eldritch Danny thoughts

I want to delve deeper into the eldritch Danny because I fricking love the concept and you will never be able to change my mind.

What is the most eldritch our human minds can make up? How would people conceptualize an eldritch Danny and how would Danny’s mind evolve (I’m sure jazz has a field day with that one) to deal with the changes of his incomprehensible powers? I love to throw in space obsession and that the powers of ghosts evolve along with their obsession to suit their needs.

So will Danny take over the entire sky, with the entire world just looking into a biblically accurate angel, with teeth that could also be hands, or maybe eyes? You don’t know. Or will it be like a void with your brain tricking you into thinking that that should not be possible. There is a hole, a black hole, or maybe just a void, or is it just a black sheet of paper? You don’t know, your brain does not have the processing capacity needed nor the senses to truly conclude that.

Does reality shatter when he appears? Or does it just move out of the way when Danny appears? Does he just seem to have always been a part of that reality even though you’re also sure he wasn’t here a second ago?

Will the people get eldritch madness from looking at him by glimpsing into the mind and inner workings of a being that should never be available to the human mind? Do they forever leave a part of themselves behind or is Danny kind enough (naturally) to limit himself into the limits of human comprehension?

There is so much fun to be had with eldritch creatures and I absolutely love them! Just the thought of us being this insignificant part of the universe while others watch dispassionately like ecologists do to great tits and mice. Just like billionaires do to their underpaid workers. Watching, able to help, but to them, you’re nothing. They have the power to traverse universes where you are just one of many, a fun puzzle piece to hang up on the wall to maybe glance at once a year. Are you really real to them? Will Danny keep this humanity because of his past and upbringing? Will he just become dispassionate because well, he basically ascended?

#danny phantom #danny fenton #dp #ghost #eldritch danny #eldritch #incomprehensible #is my love for eldritch danny shining through again?#yes #psychology #thought experiment #dpxdc #taking over the entire space of the cosmos #after all #our earth is so small in the incomprehensible vastness of the universe #it’s scary and exiting at the same time #how will he look at aliens with his past?#the same way humans #or with more interest?

100 notes · View notes

yaniluvs · 1 month ago

Text

𑁍ࠬܓ (현진, 용복) : YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL ── he loves her, but he's nothing but a shadow to her. maybe he isn't just meant for her. maybe, there's someone else waiting for him.

𓍯 hyunjin, felix ʚଓ fem!reader ：（ 𝒾 ） 8.1k ── ༯ ONESHOT, uni au, unrequited love, slice of life, comfort if you swuint, sappy, angst, melancholic, mentioned chan, crying, bl, happy ending, first half in hyunjin's pov. fluff. ⸝⸝𓂃 LiBRARY . /ᐠ.ꞈ.ᐟ\ྀིྀི

yani's note ˖˙ ᰋ i'm finally over a hundred followers. seriously, i can't even believe it; thank you so much to each and every reader of mine, really, i'm glad to have finally shared my writings with others who may seek of it. i hope you guys enjoy reading these as much as i love writing them! alright, i think i've ghosted tumblr enough, here's something as a filler to make up for it! + i really liked how this turned out. lmk if u want me to write more stuff like this! reqs are open!

she was beautiful. as beautiful as the first light of dawn stretching across a quiet sky, painting it in soft shades of blush and gold. as beautiful as the sound of rain on a tin roof, a rhythm of nature that lulls even the most restless soul to peace.

she carried a beauty that was more than skin deep—deeper than the surface of her smile or the gleam in her eyes. it was in the way she moved, the way her presence filled the air, like the first notes of a familiar melody.

she was beautiful, like the steady hum of the earth beneath bare feet, grounding and gentle, yet full of quiet power. like the way a flower opens itself to the sun, unashamed, vulnerable, reaching toward something greater. her beauty wasn’t loud or boastful; it whispered, it lingered.

she was as beautiful as the silence after a storm—still, yet trembling with the memory of chaos. as beautiful as a secret only the stars know, a story written in the folds of the universe, unseen but felt. she carried galaxies in her eyes, constellations formed of hopes, dreams, and unspoken fears.

there was beauty in her strength, the kind that didn’t demand attention but radiated from her being like the warm embrace of the sun. she was as beautiful as the moments when time seems to pause—when the world holds its breath, watching her, captivated.

and yet, her beauty was also in her fragility. she was a glass heart, reflecting the world in shards of light, even as cracks ran deep. she was as beautiful as a bird learning to fly, uncertain and trembling, yet full of endless potential.

she was beautiful in her laughter, like bells ringing in a faraway chapel, calling out to anyone who could hear. she was beautiful in her sadness, like the ocean at twilight, depths unfathomable but so achingly serene.

her beauty was in the stories she told, the love she gave, and the dreams she dared to chase. it was in the way she looked at life, even when it hurt, with eyes that sought wonder and hands that still reached for the stars.

she was beautiful, like the way the moon kisses the ocean, constant yet fleeting, a reflection of something greater. and though the tides of life pulled her away, though time threatened to erode the memory of her presence, she remained beautiful.

beautiful in the way she lingered, like the scent of lavender on a breeze, like the trace of music in the air after the last note is played.

beautiful, as if the world had poured all its grace, its pain, its joy into her being and asked her to carry it. she did, and she was radiant.

and that’s how i thought of her.

while to her, i was just an acquaintance, a project partner, a shadow.. someone who wrote stupid poems about her, some artist, that she didn't know, painted her all the time.

another face in a sea of people who passed her by without a second thought.

but her? she was my muse. she was— is my.. everything.

even when she didn’t realize it.

even when she thought nobody was watching her, locked in the music room, tears glistening from her eyes and cheeks as she quietly sobbed. her hands, so steady and graceful when she played the piano, trembled as she cradled her face. her shoulders shook under the weight of something invisible yet suffocating. i wasn’t supposed to be there. i wasn’t supposed to see her like that. but i did, and i couldn’t look away.

the girl who wore her smile like armor was falling apart in the silence of that room, and i felt like i was intruding on a sacred moment. her tears fell, one after the other, as if her sorrow was endless, as if she had been holding it all in for too long. and even in that moment—especially in that moment—she was still the most beautiful thing i’d ever seen.

her beauty wasn’t diminished by her pain; it was amplified by it. it was raw, unfiltered, as if her soul had broken through the surface to show the world that she was human, that she wasn’t untouchable, that she was hurting. and all i wanted to do was gather those pieces of her, the ones she thought were too shattered to be whole again, and hold them in my hands like they were precious.

i watched as her fingers traced the keys of the piano, not to play but to ground herself. her breathing was uneven, her chest rising and falling in stutters as she fought to compose herself. she didn’t know anyone was there. she didn’t know i had come back for my forgotten glove, only to find her, the girl i’d quietly loved, unraveling before my eyes.

and maybe that’s why i couldn’t bring myself to leave. because she didn’t let anyone see her like this. because she always carried herself with this unspoken grace, this quiet strength, like she didn’t want to burden anyone with the weight of her sadness. but here she was, alone, crumbling, and i felt it like a punch to the gut.

i wanted to say something. anything. but the words stuck in my throat, heavy and inadequate. what could i possibly say that would make her pain less sharp, her tears less bitter? so, i just stood there, a coward in the doorway, watching her world fall apart.

when she finally lifted her head, i saw it—the way her eyes, swollen and red, carried the kind of sorrow that only comes from loving and losing, from dreaming and breaking. her lips parted slightly as if she wanted to speak, but no sound came. she just sat there, staring at the blank sheet music in front of her, like it held all the answers she couldn’t find.

and in that moment, i realized something. she didn’t need someone to fix her. she didn’t need someone to tell her everything would be okay. she just needed someone to see her. to really see her, without judgment or pity, without expectations. to understand that even in her brokenness, she was whole.

so, i stayed. not close enough for her to notice me, but close enough that, if she looked up, she wouldn’t feel alone. i leaned against the doorframe, my heart aching with every breath she took, and i stayed.

because even if she never saw me, even if she never knew how much i cared, i wanted her to feel something—anything other than the emptiness i saw in her eyes.

and maybe that wasn’t enough. maybe i was just a boy with a glove in his hand and feelings he didn’t know how to articulate. but it was all i had to give. and for her, i would have given everything.

and then, the next time i saw her was at the indoor court, where our basketball team was practicing under the golden embrace of the muted rays of the late afternoon sun that shone through the big window.

she was there, sitting on the bleachers with two of her usual friends, her laughter bright and carefree, cutting through the humid air like a song.

she cheered for us as if nothing had happened, her hands clapping with an enthusiasm that drew glances and smiles from the other players.

but i noticed what no one else did. i noticed the faint redness around her eyes, the subtle swell of her lids—the remnants of a storm she had weathered alone.

still, she smiled, wide and radiant, as if to say, i’m fine, don’t look too closely.

well, it wasn’t rare for me to see her here, after all, it was him who she was here for in the first place.

him.

he stood a few feet away from me on the pitcher’s mound, his confidence exuding from every movement. he was tall, with broad shoulders and a grin that seemed to light up the field. his uniform fit him perfectly, like he was made for it. the way he carried himself was effortless, like he had the world in the palm of his hand—and maybe he did.

i watched as he caught her gaze and, with a mischievous smirk, sent a small kiss flying her way. she caught it with an exaggerated motion, her cheeks blooming with a blush that even the sun couldn’t outshine. her friends giggled and nudged her, whispering things i didn’t need to hear to understand.

he was all that a girl could ask for.

he had the charm that turned heads wherever he went, the kind that made people want to be close to him just to share in his glow. he was quick-witted, always ready with a joke that left everyone in stitches. he was the kind of guy who made you feel like the most important person in the room when he looked at you, even if you weren’t.

and on the court, he was a force to be reckoned with. his hoops and dribbles were sharp, fast, and clean—so perfect it was almost infuriating. he didn’t just play basketball; he embodied it, like the game was an extension of him.

the team loved him. we loved him. the crowd adored him. and she… she looked at him like he was the sun, like she could orbit around him forever and never tire of the warmth.

and me? i was just the captain of the team, the one calling the shots, shouting instructions, holding it all together. but i wasn’t the one she was watching. i wasn’t the one making her laugh, the one who made her cheeks flush that particular shade of pink.

it was him.

i hated how much i admired him. how could i not? he was everything i wasn’t. where i was quiet, he was bold. where i hesitated, he dove in headfirst. where i stood in the shadows, he basked in the spotlight with ease.

and maybe, just maybe, i hated how happy he made her.

because when he sent her that kiss, when she caught it with a grin so wide it looked like it could split the sky, i realized that i couldn’t give her that. not the way he did. not with that ease, that confidence, that undeniable presence that turned her sadness into laughter in an instant.

so i watched from the sidelines, pretending i didn’t see the way she lit up for him. pretending i didn’t care that she was cheering for someone else, that her heart was somewhere i could never reach.

but the truth was, it tore me apart.

because i knew what no one else did—that she cried alone in music rooms, that her laughter was sometimes a mask, that her beauty wasn’t just in her smiles but in her pain, her strength, her vulnerability.

and i knew, deep down, that he didn’t see her the way i did.

he saw her as the girl in the stands, the one who cheered him on, who caught his kisses with a laugh. but i saw her as the girl who carried the weight of the world on her shoulders and still found a way to dance beneath it.

but as someone close to him, i knew he loved her. even if he couldn't process it as much, but he really did.

and yet, despite everything, i couldn’t hate him. not really.

because he made her happy. and wasn’t that what i wanted, too?

still, as the ball dribbled under his hands, the perfect angle passing square through the basket hoop, and the crowd erupted in cheers, i couldn’t help but wonder:

what if she turned her gaze my way, just once? would she see me standing there, waiting for her? or would she still only see him?

well, that's what he was, he was just.. him.

christopher bang. or rather, chris.

her boyfriend.

my… best friend.

the words sat heavy in my chest, suffocating and sharp, like shards of glass i couldn’t swallow. chris, the guy who had been by my side through countless games, late-night talks, and stupid jokes only we found funny. chris, who knew my secrets, my struggles, my dreams. chris, who had always been my biggest supporter on and off the court.

chris, who had her.

he was the kind of person who didn’t need to try to make people love him—they just did. with his easy laugh and soft-spoken wisdom, he had a way of making everyone feel seen, understood. he wasn’t just the team’s star player; he was the glue that held us together, the one who reminded us that we weren’t just players but brothers.

and he was hers.

i should’ve been happy for them. i told myself that over and over. be happy for them, hyunjin. he’s your best friend. she deserves someone like him. someone better than you.

but no matter how many times i said it, the ache in my chest didn’t go away. it gnawed at me, relentless and cruel, every time i saw the way she looked at him. like he was her whole world.

and chris? he looked at her the same way.

i saw it in the way his eyes softened when she was around, in the way his grin widened just a little more when she laughed. he adored her, protected her, loved her with an openness i couldn’t even bring myself to admit i wanted.

i hated him for that.

and i hated myself more for hating him.

because chris didn’t know. how could he?

i had never told him about the way my heart raced every time she walked into a room, the way i memorized the sound of her laugh, the way my hands itched to brush the stray strands of hair from her face.

i never told him about the nights i stayed up replaying every conversation i had with her, wondering if i’d said enough or too much. i never told him how i couldn’t breathe when she smiled at me, even if it was just in passing.

i never told him because it didn’t matter.

she was his. and i? i was just the captain of the team, his best friend, the one who should’ve been cheering them on from the sidelines.

instead, i was standing here, on the court we both loved, pretending that every stolen glance at her didn’t feel like a betrayal. pretending that i wasn’t breaking a little more each time she caught his flying kisses and smiled at him like he was the only thing that mattered.

because he was the only thing that mattered to her.

and i was just the shadow.

i tried to ignore the way my gaze lingered on her as she sat on the bleachers, her laughter carrying over the cheers and the sound of the dribbles. i tried to ignore the way her smile faltered for just a second when she thought no one was looking, the way her fingers fiddled with the hem of her shirt like she was trying to hold herself together.

i tried to ignore it all. but it was impossible.

because i saw her. i always saw her. and i couldn’t unsee her, no matter how much it hurt.

but chris was my best friend. and she was his.

so i clenched my jaw, gripped the baseball tighter in my hand, and forced myself to look away.

because if there was one thing i knew for certain, it was this:

i would rather break my own heart a thousand times over than let either of them know how much i was breaking inside.

and soon enough, practice had ended, and the sound of sneakers squeaking on the polished wood faded into the hum of low conversations and the occasional thud of a stray basketball.

i wiped the sweat from my face with the hem of my jersey, my throat dry despite the water i’d just gulped down. my chest heaved as i caught my breath, leaning against the wall near the bleachers. my teammates had already started to disperse, their laughter echoing as they shoved each other toward the locker room.

but i stayed back, as i always did.

because she was still here.

she stood at the far end of the bleachers, laughing with him, who had his arm slung casually around her shoulders. her eyes sparkled in the dim light, her laughter ringing out like a melody that didn’t belong in this sweaty, chaotic gym. she was radiant, even in the simplest way she carried herself—like she belonged to a world far gentler than this one.

chris leaned closer to her, whispering something that made her tilt her head back and laugh louder. he smiled at her, that easy, confident smile of his, the one that said he didn’t have a single doubt in his mind that she was his. and why would he? he had everything—a charm that drew people in without effort, a talent that made him the pride of the team, and her.

i clenched the water bottle in my hand, the plastic crinkling under the pressure. i told myself i should look away, that i had no right to watch her like this, but my feet stayed rooted, and my gaze lingered.

i didn’t even notice the footsteps approaching until a voice, bright and effervescent, cut through my thoughts.

"hey! hyunjin, right?"

startled, i turned to see a blonde guy standing a few feet away, his hands tucked casually into the pockets of his sweatpants. his hair was an impossible shade of gold, soft and messy, like sunlight had woven itself into every strand. his face was alight with a grin so wide it could’ve lit up the entire gym, and freckles danced across his nose and cheeks like constellations on a canvas.

"uh… yeah," i managed to mumble, taken aback.

he tilted his head slightly, his smile never wavering. "i’m felix. we share a couple of classes, i think? history and, uh… literature? or something like that."

i nodded slowly, vaguely recalling his face in the back row, but we’d never exchanged more than polite nods in passing.

"anyway," he continued, his voice light and lilting, "i just wanted to say—you were amazing out there. the way you move on the court? it’s like… i don’t know, art or something."

i blinked, unsure how to respond. compliments weren’t something i was used to, especially from someone who had no reason to notice me. "uh, thanks," i said awkwardly, scratching the back of my neck with a faint smile.

the sunshine guy's grin widened, and he gave a little laugh, as if my reaction amused him. "seriously, though! you’ve got this… i don’t know, this elegance when you play. like you’re not just playing to win—you’re playing to express something. it’s cool."

i stared at him, caught off guard by the sheer earnestness in his voice. there was no hint of sarcasm, no undercurrent of competition—just genuine admiration. it was disarming, the way he looked at me, his eyes warm and unassuming, like he truly meant every word.

before i knew it, we were walking together, his deep voice filling the space between us as we headed toward the locker rooms. he kinda talked with his whole body, his hands gesturing animatedly, his steps light, almost bouncy.

he told me about how he wasn’t much of a basketball fan but had come to watch the team play and ended up being more impressed by me. he mentioned how he loved the way i dribbled, how i always seemed to find the perfect opening. "it’s like you see the game differently than everyone else," he said, his tone laced with wonder.

i didn’t say much, but felix didn’t seem to mind. he carried the conversation effortlessly, his words tumbling out in a cheerful, unfiltered stream. his voice was soft but lively, like he couldn’t contain his excitement about even the smallest things.

when we reached the locker room doors, he stopped and turned to me, his hands tucked back into his pockets. "well, i guess this is where i leave you," he said with a little shrug, his smile still firmly in place.

"thanks for the talk," i said, feeling a strange warmth settle in my chest.

"anytime," he replied, his grin softening into something more sincere. "see you around, hyunjin. keep playing the way you do, okay? it’s inspiring."

with that, he turned and walked away, his golden hair catching the light, his footsteps light and unhurried.

i stood there for a moment, staring after him, his words echoing in my mind.

okay, conversing with a literal golden retriever wasn't on my schedule, but i'm not complaining.

the next few days unfolded like a gentle spring breeze, carrying the blonde closer into hyunjin’s orbit with an ease that felt both foreign and comforting. he seemed to appear everywhere, his sunshine-drenched smile lighting up hallways, classrooms, and even the spaces hyunjin hadn’t realized were so dim before.

it was strange, this feeling of someone so effortlessly making themselves a part of your days, like the way sunlight filters through curtains uninvited but welcome all the same. felix had a knack for filling silences, his words tumbling out in cheerful, rambling tangents that somehow made sense by the end. and though hyunjin usually thrived in solitude, he found himself listening more, responding more, even smiling more.

of course, she still lingered in his mind sometimes—a soft, bittersweet memory of something unattainable. but with felix around, the ache dulled. it wasn’t that he forgot her; it was that he didn’t feel quite as hollow. his presence was like a patch of warm sun on a chilly day, an undeniable comfort that didn’t demand anything in return.

felix, for all his bubbliness, seemed to bring out something softer in hyunjin too. perhaps it was the way he carried himself, light and delicate, or the way he spoke with a sincerity that felt unguarded, untainted by cynicism. whatever it was, hyunjin found himself treading carefully around him, as if felix were made of spun glass and the last thing he wanted was to leave a crack.

—

it was seungmin, felix's roommate, who told him about the rooftop.

"felix? he’s probably up there," seungmin had said nonchalantly, shuffling through his locker, as he glanced at the guy. "he likes the quiet. eats lunch there a lot."

hyunjin had hesitated at first, unsure if he was intruding, but curiosity won out. so here he was, climbing the worn staircase that led to the rooftop, the faint sound of the bustling school below fading with each step.

when he pushed open the heavy metal door, there he was.

he was sat cross-legged on the stony floor, leaning against the low wall that lined the rooftop’s edge. a neatly packed lunch box sat in his lap, and his golden hair gleamed in the midday sunlight, almost too bright to look at. he was popping a grape into his mouth when he noticed hyunjin, his eyes lighting up with a smile that was as welcoming as it was disarming.

"oh hey, hyunjin," felix said, his voice soft and lilting. "didn’t know you’d be here too."

"ah… i, um…" hyunjin stammered, suddenly feeling awkward, like he’d just walked into something private. he shifted the strap of his crossbody bag and glanced around, unsure of where to place himself. "seungmin told me you were here."

felix chuckled, gesturing to the spot beside him. "well, come on then. no sense standing there like a lost puppy."

hyunjin let out a small laugh, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly as he moved to sit beside him. he settled onto the floor, his back against the wall, and pulled out his sketchbook and pencil from his bag.

"i… thought maybe i’d sketch," hyunjin said, his voice quieter now. he glanced at felix, who was now chewing thoughtfully on a slice of apple. the sunlight hit felix’s face at just the right angle, illuminating the constellation of freckles across his cheeks and nose.

felix looked over, curiosity sparking in his honey-brown eyes. "you sketch?"

"yeah, a lot." hyunjin responded, lowering his gaze to the blank page that sat on his lap. "guess i never really mentioned it, huh?"

"i guess so," the blonde's eyes lightened in admiration, "so is that your artwork on the phonecase then?"

"yeah, actually," hyunjin muttered, "it's nothing much, though."

"i'd say it must really mean something to you. i'd beg and pay thousands to see your pieces," he giggled excitedly, staring at the guy with the brightest smile in the universe.

hyunjin's eyes shifted awkwardly, meeting his bright ones as he absorbed the genuineness in the blonde's eyes and smile.

"so what do you usually like to draw?"

"anything.. random," hyunjin replied quickly, looking down once again. "but i usually end up drawing flowers, um, people, and happy moments."

felix hummed in understanding, his focus returning to his lunch. for a moment, they sat in companionable silence, the soft rustle of the breeze and the distant sounds of the school below creating a cocoon of peace around them.

but hyunjin couldn’t stop glancing at felix out of the corner of his eye—the way his lips curved as he smiled to himself, the way his fingers carefully plucked a grape from the box, the way the sunlight seemed to adore him, draping him in a golden glow.

"felix?" hyunjin said suddenly, his voice breaking the quiet.

felix turned to him, eyebrows raised in question. "mhm?"

hyunjin hesitated, his grip tightening on his pencil. his heart thudded in his chest, and he cursed himself for how awkward he felt. "i… i wanted to ask if… you’d let me sketch you. like—be my muse. but i mean—that’s only if you’re okay—"

felix’s face lit up in a way that made hyunjin’s breath catch. "me? really?"

hyunjin nodded, his gaze dropping to his sketchbook. "you just… you look—" he paused, feeling the words stick in his throat.

beautiful? ethereal? like you’ve been kissed by sunlight itself?

"—interesting," he finished weakly.

felix let out a soft laugh, and hyunjin dared to look up, only to find felix grinning at him with an almost childlike delight.

"i’d be honored," felix said, his voice warm and sincere. "just tell me what to do."

hyunjin swallowed hard, his fingers trembling slightly as he poised his pencil over the page. "just… stay as you are. you’re perfect."

the words slipped out before he could stop them, and his cheeks flushed immediately. but felix didn’t tease him for it. instead, he just smiled, leaning back against the wall and tilting his head slightly, his golden hair catching the sunlight again.

and as hyunjin began to sketch, his pencil capturing the gentle curve of felix’s jaw, the scattered freckles, the light in his eyes—he realized that for the first time in a long while, he wasn’t thinking about anyone else.

only him.

the day had slipped into late afternoon, the golden hour casting a soft glow over the campus as students trickled out of the buildings. hyunjin adjusted the strap of his bag on his shoulder, his footsteps slow as he made his way across the courtyard. it had been a long day—lectures, practice, and a lingering exhaustion he couldn’t quite shake—but at least it was over.

the quiet shuffle of his sneakers on the pavement filled his ears until a familiar voice called out from behind him, bright and lilting.

"hyunjin! wait up!"

he turned to see felix jogging toward him, his blonde hair catching the sunlight in a way that made it almost shimmer. he was all literally energy, even after a full day, his smile as wide as ever.

"hey," felix said, falling into step beside him, slightly out of breath. "i thought that was you. heading home?"

"yeah," hyunjin replied simply, his voice low, though he found himself softening as he looked at felix.

felix’s grin didn’t falter, and he adjusted the strap of his own bag. "long day?"

"something like that."

they walked together for a moment, the conversation easy, as felix filled the air with his usual cheerful chatter. he talked about how the lecture on renaissance art had gone completely over his head, how he’d spilled coffee on his notebook but somehow managed to save his notes.

hyunjin listened quietly, nodding here and there, letting felix’s words wash over him. there was something soothing about felix’s voice, a buoyancy that felt almost contagious, like he could lift the weight of the world just by talking.

but then hyunjin’s gaze shifted, just for a second, drawn by the sound of a familiar laugh.

there she was.

she stood a few steps ahead, just off the main path, her head tilted back as she laughed at something her friends had said. chris was there too, with his arm casually draped over her shoulders, his expression as confident and easy as ever.

the sight tugged at something deep in hyunjin’s chest, a sharp reminder of what he’d tried so hard to bury. but before the ache could settle, before felix could notice the flicker of something in his eyes, hyunjin turned back.

he quickened his pace.

felix, ever the observant one, picked up on it immediately. he glanced at hyunjin, a hint of curiosity in his eyes, but if he had any questions, he didn’t voice them. instead, he jogged a step to match his longer strides, his usual cheer slipping back into place.

"you know," felix began, his tone light and almost casual, though there was a faint undercurrent of nervousness, "i was thinking… my roommate says i bake pretty good brownies. and, well, i was planning on making a few batches tonight."

hyunjin slowed slightly, glancing at felix.

felix scratched the back of his neck, his grin faltering just a little, though his voice stayed steady. "i mean, if you’re not busy or anything, maybe you could come over? you know, hang out. have a taste-test session or whatever."

hyunjin blinked, caught off guard by the invitation. felix’s words were casual enough, but there was something in the way he spoke, the way his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, that made him realize he might actually care about the answer.

for a moment, hyunjin hesitated. the idea of spending more time with felix, of stepping into his world, felt strange and unfamiliar. but at the same time, the thought of walking home to an empty apartment, of being alone with his thoughts, felt heavier.

"are you sure?" hyunjin asked finally, his voice quieter than he intended.

felix’s grin returned, brighter this time, like he hadn’t expected hyunjin to even consider it. "of course! it’s no trouble at all. i mean, unless you hate brownies. in which case… who even are you?"

hyunjin let out a small laugh despite himself, shaking his head. "i don’t hate brownies."

"good," felix said with mock seriousness, pointing a finger at him. "because i don’t think i could be friends with someone who does."

"friends, huh?" hyunjin murmured, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

felix tilted his head, his expression softening. "yeah. friends."

hyunjin exhaled, the tension in his chest loosening just a little. "okay. i’ll come over."

felix’s face lit up, the kind of smile that could chase away the darkest of clouds. "great! you won’t regret it, i promise. my brownies are kind of legendary."

as they continued walking, felix started talking again, his words spilling out in that familiar, giddy way. hyunjin found himself relaxing more with each step, the weight of the day beginning to lift.

the streets were quieter now, bathed in the warm hues of the setting sun. felix walked with a light bounce in his step, his hands casually stuffed into the pockets of his jacket. hyunjin walked beside him, his longer strides slowed to match felix’s pace.

"so, how did you get into baking?" hyunjin asked, his voice breaking the comfortable silence between them.

felix turned his head toward him, his grin widening. "oh, you know. it started with cookies. my older sister, rachel, loved baking, and she taught me when i was a kid. at first, i was terrible—like, really terrible. burnt everything. but i kept at it because, well, cookies, you know?"

hyunjin nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips. "i can see that. you seem like the kind of person who’d persevere for cookies."

"hey, cookies are worth the effort," felix shot back, laughing. "and then i branched out. muffins, cakes, brownies—pretty much anything sweet. now it’s kind of my thing. therapy, i guess. plus, helps keep seungmin's sass in check."

"therapy?" hyunjin raised an eyebrow.

"yeah, like… when the world feels too heavy, i bake," felix explained, his voice softer now. "measuring ingredients, mixing, smelling something warm and sweet in the oven—it just makes things feel a little lighter, you know?"

hyunjin glanced at him, his chest tightening at the sincerity in felix’s tone. "i get that. for me, it’s drawing."

felix’s eyes lit up. "oh, yeah! you’re amazing at it. i mean, i’ve only seen a small portion of your sketches only today, but i bet they’re incredible. like, real talent. i can barely draw a stick figure."

hyunjin chuckled, shaking his head. "thanks. it’s… kind of like what you said. it helps me process things."

felix nodded thoughtfully, his gaze drifting to the sidewalk ahead. "that’s cool. i think everyone needs something like that, you know? something that feels like home."

they walked in silence for the moment, the sounds of the city filling the space between them.

when they finally reached felix’s building, he stopped at the entrance and turned to hyunjin, his expression softening.

"thanks for coming," felix said, his voice quieter now. "i wasn’t sure if you’d say yes, but… i’m glad you did."

hyunjin felt a strange warmth spread through him at the sincerity in felix’s words. he gave a small nod. "me too."

felix’s grin returned, brighter than ever. "come on. let’s make you a brownie believer."

with that, felix pushed open the door, and hyunjin followed him inside, his steps feeling just a little lighter than before.

—

the kitchen smelled like butter and cocoa, a rich and decadent aroma that only deepened as felix set out the ingredients. the room was modest, the counters slightly cluttered but lived-in, with felix’s cheerful energy filling every corner. hyunjin leaned against the counter, arms crossed loosely, watching as felix flitted around the kitchen.

"okay," felix began, turning toward hyunjin with a measuring cup in hand. "first things first—have you ever made brownies before? or like.. baked and cooked? at all?"

hyunjin only blinked, "uh.. i once helped my best friend sauté tofu and veggies?" he spoke, unsure.

"and..?"

"and..? oh, i think i burnt the tofu a bit. i didn't realise the stove was on high flame.."

felix smiled, ducking his head slightly as he set the measuring cup on the counter. "alright, rookie. let’s start with the dry ingredients."

he talked hyunjin through each step, his voice soft but enthusiastic as he explained the difference between unsweetened and dutch-process cocoa, how to measure flour properly, and why sugar mattered so much in baking.

hyunjin nodded along, following felix’s instructions, though his eyes lingered more on felix than the ingredients. the way his hands moved, quick but precise, and how his lips pursed when he concentrated—it all held his attention in a way he wasn’t used to.

"okay, your turn," felix said, sliding the bowl of dry ingredients toward him.

hyunjin straightened, stepping closer. "what am i doing?"

"whisking," felix replied, holding out the whisk. his freckles seemed to stand out more under the soft kitchen light, his cheeks tinged with a faint pink as hyunjin’s fingers brushed his when he took the whisk.

hyunjin glanced down at the bowl, then back up at felix. "am i supposed to do this a certain way, or…?"

felix giggled nervously, his gaze flitting away before returning to meet hyunjin’s. "it’s not that complicated, i promise. just, uh… here, let me show you."

he stepped closer, his smaller frame just brushing against hyunjin’s side as he placed his hands over hyunjin’s on the whisk. "you want to go in small circles, like this," felix said, guiding his movements. his voice was quieter now, and hyunjin could feel the warmth radiating from him.

the blonde's blush deepened as he realized how close they were, his words faltering. "y-you don’t want to overmix, though. just until it’s all combined."

hyunjin’s heart gave an unfamiliar flutter, his eyes briefly dropping to felix’s face. he noticed the way felix bit his lower lip in concentration, the way his lashes cast delicate shadows on his cheeks.

"are you hot?"

felix’s hands froze for a second before he quickly pulled back, his face going from pink to scarlet. "n-no, i’m not!" he stammered, avoiding hyunjin’s gaze as he fussed with the edge of his apron.

"i mean- maybe, i don't know, i'll just go get some.. paper napkins, yeah." felix muttered, clearly flustered.

hyunjin chuckled under his breath, the sound low and warm, but he didn’t press further. he resumed whisking, letting felix regain his composure, as he left the kitchen to get those 'napkins'.

when felix finally came back, his expression was determined, though the pink in his cheeks hadn’t quite faded. "alright, rookie, let’s move on to the wet ingredients."

they worked together, felix explaining and demonstrating, hyunjin following along. at one point, felix reached up to grab a mixing bowl from a high shelf, but his fingers just barely brushed the edge.

"need help?" hyunjin asked, already stepping closer.

felix turned to protest but stopped when he saw how easily hyunjin reached up and grabbed the bowl, his long fingers steady and confident. their eyes met briefly as hyunjin handed it to him, and felix let out a soft laugh, his shoulders relaxing. "thanks. guess being tall has its perks."

hyunjin smirked. "you say that like it’s a bad thing."

they continued, the atmosphere growing more comfortable, even playful. felix teased hyunjin about his whisking technique, calling it 'too aggressive,' while hyunjin shot back that felix was 'too much of a perfectionist.'

as they poured the batter into the pan, felix handed hyunjin a spatula. "here, scrape the bowl."

hyunjin obeyed, his movements slow and deliberate. "is this up to your perfectionist standards?" he asked, glancing at felix with a raised brow.

felix laughed, his shoulders shaking. "i’ll allow it."

when the brownies were finally in the oven, felix leaned against the counter, letting out a content sigh. "now we wait."

hyunjin stood beside him, his gaze drifting to felix’s profile. the golden light from the oven reflected off felix’s hair, making it shine. he looked peaceful, almost ethereal, as he rested his chin on his hand.

"you’re good at this," hyunjin said after a moment, his voice quiet.

felix turned to him, his brows knitting together in confusion. "good at what?"

hyunjin hesitated, his lips quirking into a small smile. "making people feel at home."

felix blinked, his cheeks flushing again, though his smile was soft this time. "that’s… really nice of you to say. thanks, hyunjin."

hyunjin didn’t reply, just nodded slightly, his eyes lingering on felix for a moment longer before looking away.

the next time the two met was after hyunjin’s basketball practice. the court was still abuzz with movement as players cooled down, collecting their water bottles and laughing about plays that went wrong or almost-right. hyunjin wiped his forehead with a towel, sweat clinging to the nape of his neck, when he caught a glimpse of felix sitting in the bleachers.

he was easy to spot—blonde hair glowing under the gym lights, freckles standing out against his flushed cheeks as he beamed at hyunjin, waving excitedly when their eyes met. hyunjin felt his breath hitch for a second, but he masked it with a small smile, lifting a hand in acknowledgment.

as the rest of the team dispersed, hyunjin walked over, the squeak of his sneakers echoing softly. felix hopped down from the bleachers, practically bouncing toward him.

"that was a great game," felix exclaimed, his eyes bright. "you were amazing out there, hyunjin. that shot you made toward the end? unreal."

hyunjin let out a awkward chuckle, the corner of his mouth twitching upward. "thanks. glad to know i’ve got at least one loyal fan."

felix laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "you’ve got a lot more than just one, trust me. but, uh… if you ever need someone to cheer louder, i’m your guy."

hyunjin tilted his head slightly, studying felix’s flushed face and earnest expression. "you free right now?" he asked, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

felix blinked, caught off guard. "oh, uh, yeah. why?"

hyunjin shrugged, looking away briefly. "my roommate’s out for the day. place feels too quiet, and i might get a little bored. care for some company?"

felix’s lips curled into a small smile, his cheeks dusted pink. "yeah, sure. i’d love to."

the walk to hyunjin’s apartment was quieter than usual, though not uncomfortably so. felix had asked about the game, his enthusiasm spilling into every question—did hyunjin practice that three-pointer often? was his coach strict? who was the best player on the team?

hyunjin answered each question patiently, his tone soft, almost fond. felix’s excitement was infectious, and hyunjin found himself smiling more than he realized.

when they reached the apartment, hyunjin unlocked the door and stepped aside, gesturing for felix to enter first.

the room was neat but far from sterile. a desk in the corner was cluttered with paint tubes, brushes, and sketchbooks. several canvases leaned against the wall, some completed, others only half-finished. felix’s eyes widened as he took it all in, his gaze darting from the paintings to the guitar propped in the far corner.

"wow," felix murmured, walking closer to the desk. his fingers hovered over a sketchbook but didn’t touch. "this is amazing. i mean, i only ever saw the two you showed me, but—hyunjin, these are incredible."

hyunjin scratched the back of his neck, looking away.

felix gaped softly. "not only are you the hottest guy on the campus’ basketball team," he began, the words slipping out before he could stop them. realizing what he’d just said, his eyes widened, and his cheeks turned bright red. "i mean—g-good looking.. guy on the basketball team,"

hyunjin's cheeks tinted red at the comment.

felix? well his ears still burning. "and.. say you paint, sketch, and play the guitar too? is there anything you can’t do?"

hyunjin followed felix’s gaze to the guitar. "i can’t play much," he admitted, walking over to pick it up. he sat on the couch, the sleek, ash-gray instrument resting comfortably in his hands. "still learning the basics. there’s this one chord i just can’t get right."

felix tilted his head, curiosity sparking in his eyes. "which one?"

"b major," hyunjin replied, strumming a few notes and wincing when it came out wrong.

felix’s face lit up. "oh, seungmin’s a music major, and he spends half the day playing guitar in our apartment. i might know a thing or two."

hyunjin arched an eyebrow. "really?"

"yeah," felix said, sitting beside him on the couch. "i could help, i guess. there's this song seungmin loves, and i think it has the chord."

hyunjin tried playing the chord again, failing to play it well.

"hold on, i think it goes like this," he said, reaching out to guide his fingers. felix’s touch was warm, and hyunjin found himself watching the way he adjusted the strings in his hands.

"okay, so b major is tricky," felix began, his voice soft but steady. he demonstrated the chord, the sound ringing out clearly. "you just have to press down a little harder here."

hyunjin leaned forward slightly, studying felix’s fingers. "like this?" he asked, mimicking the position.

"close," felix murmured, reaching out to adjust hyunjin’s grip. their hands brushed again, and felix froze for a moment, his breath hitching. "s-sorry," he stammered, pulling back and trying to put some space between them.

hyunjin’s gaze softened, his voice a hushed reassurance. "it’s fine. don’t worry about it."

felix cleared his throat, his cheeks flaming as he looked down at the guitar. "uh, right. try again."

as hyunjin strummed, the chord came out cleaner this time, and felix smiled, the tension melting away. "see? you’ve got it."

hyunjin didn’t reply immediately, his eyes lingering on felix’s face. the way felix’s freckles seemed to glow in the warm light, the curve of his smile, the softness in his gaze—it all felt strangely grounding.

for the first time in a while, y/n didn’t linger in hyunjin’s thoughts. instead, all he could think about was the boy sitting across from him, blushing and laughing softly, and how felix made everything feel just a little bit brighter.

the guitar sat forgotten between them. hyunjin was still holding it carefully, his hands lingering for a moment before he sat straight again, exhaling quietly. felix was still sitting beside him, his legs tucked under himself, a soft hum of contentment escaping as he looked down at his hands, fidgeting slightly.

“thanks,” hyunjin said suddenly, his voice low but steady.

“i-it's nothing,”

hyunjin gave a faint smile, his gaze soft as it settled on felix's flushed cheeks. he didn’t say anything, but his eyes lingered, trailing over his face—those bright, sun-kissed freckles, the curve of his lips, the way his blonde hair fell messily over his forehead.

felix noticed the silence and tilted his head slightly, his expression curious. "what? did i say something weird?"

"no," hyunjin murmured, shaking his head. he looked down, his hands resting on the guitar, fingers curling slightly as if grounding himself.

hyunjin laughed softly, but the sound faded quickly as his eyes found felix’s again. there was something in his chest, something he couldn’t name but felt like it had been there for weeks, quietly growing every time felix smiled, every time he blushed, every time he laughed.

before he could stop himself, hyunjin leaned forward, his movements slow, hesitant. felix stilled, his breath hitching as hyunjin’s face came closer, their noses almost brushing.

"felix," hyunjin murmured, his voice barely audible.

felix’s eyes searched his, wide and vulnerable, his cheeks tinged pink. "y-yeah?"

hyunjin hesitated for a fraction of a second longer, his heart pounding in his chest. then, with a quiet exhale, he closed the distance.

their lips met softly, hesitantly, as if testing the waters. felix let out a small, surprised sound against hyunjin’s mouth, his hand instinctively reaching up to rest against hyunjin’s neck. his fingers trembled slightly, but they held on, anchoring him.

hyunjin’s hand moved carefully to felix’s waist, his long fingers curling gently around him, as if afraid to hold on too tightly. felix tasted sweet, like the faint hint of chocolate they’d snacked on earlier, mixed with something softer, warmer, uniquely felix.

felix’s lips were soft and pliant, moving tentatively against hyunjin’s as if he were afraid of doing something wrong. but when hyunjin deepened the kiss just slightly, tilting his head to fit their mouths together more snugly, felix let out a quiet sigh, his shoulders relaxing.

the kiss grew slower, more confident. hyunjin’s other hand found felix’s smaller one, their fingers intertwining. he squeezed gently, his thumb brushing over felix’s knuckles as he pulled him just a fraction closer.

felix shifted slightly, leaning into hix touch. his other hand slid further into his hair, his fingers tangling in the dark strands. when hyunjin pulled back just a little, felix chased him instinctively, their lips brushing again in a way that felt almost desperate.

hyunjin gasped softly, the sound low and warm as he rested his forehead against felix’s. his breath was uneven, his chest rising and falling in time with felix’s.

hyunjin’s heart raced as he pulled back slightly, his breath catching in his throat. his mind scrambled to process what had just happened, the rush of emotions, the spark that had ignited between them. his fingers, still loosely holding felix’s hand, twitched slightly, and his voice came out quieter than he intended.

"'m sorry," hyunjin murmured, his eyes flickering down to the space between them, suddenly feeling like he’d overstepped, like he had done something wrong. his chest tightened with uncertainty, and for the first time in a while, he felt unsure.

felix blinked, and the brief moment of silence felt heavier than it was. he hesitated, but then a soft, reassuring smile tugged at his lips. he reached up to gently cup hyunjin’s cheek, his touch tender, his thumb brushing over the soft skin there.

before he could respond, felix’s eyes softened, and without another word, he leaned in once again, their lips interlocking immediately.

54 notes · View notes