#but i already expect even less of it
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Aside from a few characters, Ikemen Sengoku polls got somewhat less votes than the previous fandoms... Is it the fandom, the timing or is there less interest in this kind of fics for this fandom 🤔
#maybe all of it#plus how small and in invisible this blog is#also i will do ikemen revolution next#but i already expect even less of it
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I was abt to give up on this until I remembered who she is
#artists on tumblr#fight club#fight club 1999#marla singer#digital art#you already know how I feel about her#first serious drawing yippee!!#I wanted to practice with poses at first and then I just thought abt marla in narrator's clothes so this happened#I like how I rendered her og outift tho#also shh that signature is NOT invasive#love my wobbly calligraphy just because it gives off the wavy effect#she was the one normal drawing before I went on and put tyler in like four different outfits#yeah requests are also coming#be patient guys I'm going through my 12th style puberty as for this year#also had less time than I expected back in romania cause we kept visiting placesss ughhh#I drew during the night and fucked up my sleep schedule even more#enough yapping#martyryo#queue
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not enough discussion about the gavins' complicated relationship with feminine-coded/beauty products, i don't think.
#for klavier because it's not as direct it's about how we never see him actually wearing lipstick? even though apollo literally attends#a concert of his which is where you'd most expect him to wear makeup. but apparently he just doesnt. or at least not in public#klavier gavin#kristoph gavin#i feel like there are several ways you can read into it. the misogyny/toxic masculinity one is really obvious clearly with kristoph's#singling out of men specifically and klavier's (probably accidental?) condescending manner of calling women 'fraulein' plus his general#mildly patronising attitude towards many of the women in the game (also probably unintentional)#(i think he's trying to be charming and it's coming off wrong to some of them. like ema. and me.)#but i feel like there's also maybe an element of... inherent perfecfionism to it? like both of these products are conventionally beautifyin#products and kristoph while he is open to showing people he uses nail polish specifically chooses one that's clear and missable unless you#see him apply it. he also feels the need to justify his use of it and specifically spell it out as something he chooses to do rather than#needs to do even though duh. that should be obvious.#idk there's just something about his seeming need to take control of that narrative that i find interesting. his need to spin it into a#'there's nothing wrong with my nails but I had the foresight to see that even the smallest parts of my appearance should be kept immaculate#and it's a choice i'm making to refine an already adequate part of my personage /not/ to cover some unsightly defect.' the need to emphasis#that specifically is so. hm. and with klavier i could see it being a case of him liking makeup liking the pops of colour yet being unwillin#to admit to it because he's afraid that other people might see it as him being dissatisfied with his own appearance regardless of if he is#or isn't. or even just perceiving colourful makeup as being unseemly because it's so overt and unnatural.#like i can see this as them both viewing 'real' beauty to be that which is inherent to a person and seemingly effortless#thus somehow negating the beauty which one achieves through cosmetics or other external means.#and if you want to use external means to achieve beauty or neatness or whatever then your only valid options are those which blend into you#natural state. like clear nail polish. or really awful spray tan.#i feel like klavier's less confined by these ideas (if they hold merit at all) considering he actually owns coloured lipstick and he wears#jewellery (admittedly quite 'masculine' jewellery no gems or pearls or anything like that but jewellery nonetheless) but i think it just#makes it more interesting that he doesnt seem quite able to cross the line anyway. like it's that ingrained into his system.#anyway that's all i've got. you guys should tell me what you think too#annotations
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Harrison Ford as Cullen Tindall in The Virginian – "The Modoc Kid" (5x19) [1967]
#harrison ford#harrisonfordedit#hfordedit#the virginian#mine#i confess i expected less from him in this episode#even more so when it comes to the first credited role of his career#i was very surprised#the sixth gif#i just love when he drinks milk 🤤😋#and#the seventh gif#little did he know that the act of pointing the finger at someone would become one of his trademarks in his filmography#at that time he was already a wild and dangerous man omfg#baby boy baby#please don't let this flop
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real question
are y'all actually going to play khml if it turns out to be
laggy
a massive storage/battery drain
gacha hell
microtransaction hell
generally designed to promote insidiously addictive behavior
#i found a lot to like about khux in spite of its flaws#but khdr was a hard pass for me on the basis of it being less a game a more a shortcut to a dead phone battery#i am. shall we say. skeptical that this will be much different#even if it's clearly being developed with more intentionality#i haven't forgotten that gross statement that square's CEO released last year#about wanting players to ''play to contribute'' instead of for fun#if NFTs hadn't died a painful death already i would fully expect those statue things in the game to be crypto garbage
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tighnari saying cyno and sethos are like brothers at the end of this quest... cyno really is collecting siblings like pokemon. good for him!!
Yeeeessss!!
In my HC, Cyno put a lot of attention in family.
Firstly because Cyrus was his only one family when he was a kid with amnesia, but also he grown up with Lisa as colleague under the same professor, but both of them consider Cyrus as a parental figure : without saying anything, a link it made of brother/sister. Cyno never knows his family by blood, and I think he was curious once. But he is satisfy with his current family ! And for him, family doesn't need to blood related. And if I remember well, Cyno said (during Windblum event, EVENT EXTREMELY IMPORTANT FOR ME 😭🫶) something like it is pretty current people in Akademiya becomes a family for study. It was his case ! Cyrus becomes his dad figure, Lisa, her senior, is like a big sister (I wouldn't never forget when she calls him little brother/baby brother) (AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA !!! <3). And when in windblum Cyno came visited Lisa, during their conversation, Cyno is the one mentionning the family bond she has with Cyrus "you are also part of the family, Lisa. It is normal for a daughter to talk like his father" (*CRYING*)! It sounds a tiny detail but I feel like this is so important for him.
Then came Tighnari, aka the first friend he had ever ! (I am a bit lost in chronology tho. In Tighnari's backsto, we learn they met when Cyno was already the general mahamatra while Tighnari was a student new-ly popular. But in Cyno's quest, we learn that they were student when they met ?? So Cyno was student and General ? 🤔 welp, I am still unsure but now I include it in my HC/brainrot kskdkd). And also Collei ! Collei is a bit more complicated, in term that she wasn't comfortable around him for a long time being. But even when she wasn't comfortable around him at first, she still gave him a bookmark handmade during windblum and saying he is like a family for him (I AM ON THE FLOOR). Tighnari and Cyno both consider Collei like a little sister, and bahaha when they "fight" about "who is the older one" and tighnari don't want to admit this loser being the older oh gosh i love theeeeeeem (I will never recover from "oh yeah but you're younger in your head, Collei could be your big sis !" "I wouldn't never say I am the youngest !!! Except if it is for an opportunity for winning TCG by shocking my opponent.." cyno you are so real). But during this windblum event again, Cyno said something like "you know Collei, tighnari said we are not an akademiya family, and he doesn't want to work on a post together" and this is SUPER IMPORTANT because for Cyno, as you can see earlier, only had family by study (Cyrus, Lisa). He worked, studied and published with his father and Lisa. And also, he did homework with Tighnari that he considers like a brother in soul. But the fact he was "refused" to do work with Collei and him, kind of make him feel to tell Collei "yeah we r family but, tighnari... ):"
As Tighnari answered "You know, we can consider ourself as a normal family" AND THAT'S SOSO IMPORTANT. In my HC, Tighnari is the one in group having a "good family" (not in sumeru cast, I believe it is Nilou who has the healthiest family). He knows what a family is supposed to, he grew up with parents who teach him a lot of thing and he explored with them. Anyway Tighnari is a healthy kid, he knows that they don't need to work on a project together to be a family. Oh and that's also why I HC him Aromantic, AroAce persons value platonic and familyship a lot more than romantic, so he doesn't know mind that Collei and Cyno who are not blood related to him are like a true family for him !
(Before continue, I want to talk his bond with Collei ; I believe he can relates on how Collei suffered from the seal, because Cyno who might forget his past, he remembers the pain. That's how in Tighnari's voiceline, Cyno often check how Collei is going w/o her noticing. Even when Collei was aware of Cyno and under Tighnari care, he was ready to help her. And in the first story quest, Tighnari said that she still awares of him. I wonder how often they talk abt Collei !! I am sure Cyno shares to Tighnari how much he woud like to get along with her, and that's how Tighnari gives him opportunity like this one official art when in description Tighnari said "I asked Collei to bring Cyno")
And so, that's how in Cyno's quest we were able to see all his closest friends. Tighnari Collei Kaveh Alhaitham Candace Dehya Faruzan (and Traveler). Everyone was worried for him, was wishing to help him, and was here for him. And Cyno also noticed he is less alone (GOOD FOR HIM). And now, there is Sethos, a man coming from nowhere in this life, but an important man ; they didn't spend life together but they can feel a deep connection bcuz of both of their backstory. Sethos might be the closest to understand all his doubt a long time ago (and Cyno IS the closest person for Sethos to relate). And IN CYNO'S VOICELINE ABOUT SETHOS "Aren't we his best friends of whole Sumeru city ?! 😐" Cyno pulled the power of friendship and adopt him in his big family circle.
ANYWAY WOW IT IS ONLY 8AM AND I AM HERE ALREADY YAPPING ABOUT CYNO BAHAHAHA
But genshin impact is for me more family impact that anything 😭 🫶 (and that's also why I am stuck with sumeru while FONTAINE AND THE HOUSE OF HEARTH ARE JUST RIGHT HERE ?!?!) after all, we are playing a traveler who is searching their twin !
Thank you for reading my talk, anon
#reply#I feel embarassed everytime I do a long text because I know there is mistake but I am lazy to look at it#“so abt cyno..” and for an hour I will talk about them.#cyno is my comfort character as you can see KGBSKGKS#i am less into deep lore and theory even if I try#but my attachment to him manifest on how I analyse his feeling/reaction to something#and I love it when he talks in game and it matches my interpretation#bUT THAT'S ALSO I AM STILL SHOCK ABT THE FACT HE WAS STUDENT WHEN HE MET TIGHNARI ????#it is not a bad thing but I clearly didn't expect that since in my head he was already a general who already graduated#that's the only thing I didn't expect and it disturb me in sense of “oh weird do i need to change my perception?”#it is hard to explain#glad I am flexible with my point of view tho haha
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can’t tell if this was a recent dream or a long ago memory resurfaced but i feel like there was an instance of someone getting mad at me for drawing sans undertale as wearing pink slippers and all i could think was ‘why do you hate fun’
#it was something like ‘he CLEARLY is not wearing slippers in any of his sprites. MUCH LESS pink’ and i just went ‘ok. so.’#like you expect me to draw a Mostly Already White Character with even more white still even though I can get away w giving him Not white#anyway sans pink slippers and mittens forever. to me#words from the monarch#sorry fro not drawing more undertale. i want to
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What happens when your coworker kills your other coworker but both of you are in a relationship (kind of) with the same ethereal woman who had an admiration for said dead coworker.
+bonus Evandrey because it’s funny to me (I’m sorry Eva.)
#pathologic#pathologic 2#andrey stamatin#yulia lyuricheva#eva yan#evandrey#yulieva#evaandrey#Eva yahn#Andrei Stamatin#see I think that Eva is very okay with Eva being how she is- promiscuous and spreading her love (Maybe a little jealous but more rooted in#self loathing and insecurities)#and she’s like look I’m okay with this whole open relationship (technically we aren’t in a relationship even though I really want to be)#thing BUT why HIM. I have to work with him and he’s by far the worst man I’ve ever worked with (besides maybe his brother because at least#Andrey actually talks but really they’re a package deal anyways) I need to have meetings with him often and it’s horrendous every time#like spread your love it’s noble really.#I wouldn’t expect anything else from you#but maybe give him less he’s annoying as hell#I also think that she’d figure out pretty quickly that Andrey and Peter killed Farkhad#just bcuz like. yk she’s there. she’s seen the already shaky relationship crumble beyond repair. she’s seen them argue in meetings.#she knows the stamatwins are not above murder. especially for art. and she’s clever.#And andrey knows that so he doesn’t try to hide it. she doesn’t have recourse anyways-#the kains (who I think helped cover up the murder) employ her too#and andrey respects her to a degree- he assumes she’ll see reason.#and honesty. Yulia might be upset that Andrey killed one of the only other architects but also she does not miss him that much.#she’s like I don’t agree with this whole murder thing but you are kind of right he had to go he was getting on my nerves#the meetings will be 10x more tolerable now that the twins can’t argue with him about things that aren’t even real#it’s awful but it did drive Eva further into my arms so necessary evils.#my art#sorry for the essay in the tags.
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you know. i feel like chara is obviously a very complex character and has a lot of problems and a lot going on, but i always thought that the fact that the whole wanting to kill people from their village was like. not that bad. in and of itself.
#just considering the fact too that the anniversary newsletter this year more or less fully confirmed what was suspected for many years#like. it is not GOOD but i understand it#i think i may be projecting here but at the same time when you are a kid in a situation like that#it is not just the fact that someone is hurting you in some way#a lot of the time it becomes easy to extend that to the whole world. other people can hurt you in smaller ways that feel so much bigger when#things are already bad. adults who should have helped you fail you by not doing so#and there can be a lot of reasons to that. most of the time people genuinely do not know#but from a kid’s perspective it can feel like the whole world is against you#so given the power that they had and the motivation now that they thought they would be helping by collecting the souls and that maybe that#was even what was expected of them (not actually but how they might have felt)#i don’t know. not their worst crime. i get it#chara undertale they could never make me hate you. i would not have been so kind#ALSO i think with a lot of people oversimplifying asriel as well they miss the fact that in hindsight he says he understands that maybe#fighting back would have been better and that there are a lot of dangerous people out there
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Here's the thing:
#this is certainly how i feel about all media#and tragically#Bridgerton is no exception#I'm not expecting any kind of anything from it#But bless the fanfic writers they're already on it#i'm thinking about#creloise#but really#cressida specifically#i'm such an easy mark for really horrible prickly women#falling in love and becoming even one iota less terrible#anyway hope she gets a chill beard this season and can just vibe away from her parents#homosexually
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Re:Kinder Fun Facts of the day☺️!!! Have you ever wondered who talks the most from the main cast in Re:Kinder?? Well, I did😊. Today I'll be answering this question with some graphs and as a bonus telling you what words each character uses the most! I will warn you, this will be a bit long and I don't know how to be less verbose so, yeah!!!
First, I've made some basic rules as to what I counted regarding how much the characters speak. Not all lines really count as speaking, after all.
Any of the incoherent screaming lines don't count. There's a lot of screaming since the characters die a lot (as expected for a horror RPG game), but I don't really count that as speaking unless they're saying proper words. In that same vein, I didn't really count any of the panting or sniffing and such that are conveyed through words. Again, I don't really see that as a character actively speaking their thoughts!
If I cannot tell who a line belongs to, I will not give it to anyone. This happens for certain lines, so I felt this rule was important.
I won't be counting repetitions of the same line if it's on a variation of the same scene. This may sound a bit strange, but when a character dies, the game goes on to the same next scene it would regardless (unless the scene that follows it is an ending), with variations and new lines here and there to account for the dead character, but a lot will be reused and placed in the exact same beats it normally would have been in originally. So, this rule is here for that. Oh, and also the scenes with bits of Yuuichi's backstory that appear in Shunsuke's head won't be counted twice, because some appear twice line by line.
Of course, the "..." lines won't count. I am so sorry Aya!!!!😞
Now that the ground rules have been set, there's just one thing I want to mention. Though I will count all the total lines for Takumi and Yuuichi like any other character, I just want to mention that first I will have two separate counts for them! Takumi | Takumiel and Yuuichi | Yuuichi's Heart respectively.
Takumiel is separate because I was curious about how much Takumi spoke as an archangel compared to when he was alive. Yuuichi's Heart is because he speaks so much he feels notable enough to be given his own division, even if he and Yuuichi at the end of the day are one person
(I count the silly mind telepathy where Shunsuke is being directly spoken to [and being told things normal Yuu would avoid saying at that point] and the comical theater as Yuuichi's Heart. I clarify in case one assumes he only starts being counted the moment he's directly labelled as Yuuichi's Heart. Any line that can't be distinguished between Yuuichi's Heart and Yuuichi will be given to Yuuichi by default.)
With nothing else to be clarified let's get to the numbers!!!😊😊
First, the line counts with Takumiel and Yuuichi's Heart counted individually!! Here are the rankings:
Shunsuke (With a lead of 535 lines over second place!!)
Yuuichi
Rei
Yuuichi's Heart
Hiroto
Ryou
Sayaka
Aya
Takumi
Takumiel
You may be thinking— woah, does Shunsuke really speak that much?! You could say that, for a good chunk of those lines are from how he describes interactable points around the map and his inner thoughts, so they aren't all exactly said out loud. The benefit of being the protagonist, I suppose ww
Funny enough, Yuuichi's Heart has almost as many lines as Yuuichi does for not having that much time in the game, being on the higher end between the characters that don't get the benefit of being a protagonist (lol)!
Admittedly I had expected for Rei and Hiroto to have a more similar amount of lines given their nearly equal amount of presence, but for what it is Rei surpassed Hiroto by 51 lines! I also had expected for Takumiel to speak a little bit more than Takumi but turns out the opposite is true.
While the lack of lines of Takumi and Takumiel are to be expected due to their short time on the game, what stands out is Aya not even reaching triple digits between her other peers who are in there for most of the game. This is because a good chunk of Aya's lines in game are silence!^^" And thus weren't counted. If ellipses were a word, she surely would have reached triple digits, but unfortunately they're not.
Now the line count with combined sums of Takumi | Takumiel and Yuuichi | Yuuichi's Heart!!!
In here, the ranking isn't affected, with Yuuichi remaining second place and Takumi being last place. But the disparity of everyone's numbers compared to Takumi's feels a bit more clear to see when Takumiel isn't individually counted.
With Yuuichi's line counts combined, Shunsuke remains 318 lines ahead of him, but it also means Yuuichi has a 59% the amount of Shunsuke's lines; and impressive feat for someone who doesn't get the benefit of being the point of view for everything you press... Although he does also have an upper hand over everyone by essentially being the plot of this game ww
But maybe line counts do not suffice to tell how much a character speaks. Yes, Shunsuke has a bunch of lines from everything he interacts with, but is it really reliable to say he speaks all that much in all those lines? A good chunk of those could easily have 3 words each! So with this in mind, let's do a word count.
Even in a word count, Shunsuke has the lead, having a lead of 2,247 words over second place. But we'll see about that when we combine Yuuichi's numbers. Anyway, here's the ranking!
Shunsuke
Yuuichi's Heart
Yuuichi
Rei
Hiroto
Ryou
Sayaka
Aya
Takumi
Takumiel
This time, Yuuichi's Heart is the one at second place!!! It's pretty funny that he speaks more than his physical counterpart ww. I genuinely didnt think he'd out yap himself that way when I chose to count for him individually 😭!!! He has a lead of 63 words over himself, but a lead nonetheless.
In here, Rei and Hiroto are more even than in the line counts, with the difference seeming more minimal when put into words. But it also showcases that despite Rei having more lines than Yuuichi's Heart in the line count, those only get to have a bit over half of the amount of words he talks (To be fair he does get to infodump a lot in his section of the game).
And here's the combined word count!!! Suddenly Shunsuke's lead is only by a mere 55 words! So Yuuichi speaks about as much as he does with 318 less lines.
I must admit that I genuinely did not expect it to be that close. When I chose to count the lines for when you interact with things for Shunsuke, I thought he was granted to speak an absurd amount more than anyone else. But turns out that Yuuichi speaks about the same amount out loud when most of Shunsuke's are his own thoughts ww. But it does make sense! He is still the plot of this game.
So, after all those charts, here's the average/middle point of lines and words for characters to have, because why not, it's fun.
Average Line Count (YH and Takumiel counted individually): 197 lines
Average Line Count (When combined): 247 lines
Average Word Count (YH and Takumiel counted individually): 1,333 words
Average Word Count (When combined): 1,666 words
So there it is. That's how much the characters in Re:Kinder speak!
But wait!!! I am not done. I will share with you an additional fun fact... Did you ever want to know what word each of these characters said the most?! This one will be quicker, I do promise.
When it came to counting these words I did not count stop words, that being common words that are used all the time by everyone in English. "I, you, me, the, to, a, my, your, yes, no"... Words like that! Otherwise everyone would have one of those as their most said word and it'd be rather boring to look at. With that said, here are the words these characters say the most!
Shunsuke: Yuuichi - said 40 times! (this genuinely confused me so much im sorry he uses interjections so much I had expected it to be something like "huh" or "um" but no i dont know how this passed by me as i was rounding up all the lines he says or proofreading or writing all of those lines WHAT?!?! its been two days and it still takes me out)
Ryou: Shunsuke - Said 14 times
Sayaka: Murderer - Said 7 times (All in one sentence!)
Takumi | Takumiel (counted in one for how little he speaks.): Takumiel - Said 3 times (That name is so important, he said it thrice.)
Aya: Sorry - Said 5 times
Rei: Hell, gonna, look, Yuuchi - said 8 times (Most of the repeated words she says are stop words for she doesn't tend to speak about the same things repeatedly.)
Hiroto: Shunsuke - Said 17 times
Yuuichi (separate from YH): Problem - Said 17 times
Yuuichi's Heart: Mama - Said 24 times
Yuuichi (Overall): Mama - Said 31 times
So that is finally it. That is the fun fact of today.😊😊 Use this to woe your friends at parties!!!
I am aware Mami speaks about enough to be counted in, but this is pretty time consuming to do and I'm not sure anyone is invested on her enough to count her in. But if there's enough curiosity regarding that, I'll try counting her in. But for now this suffices.☺️ Thanks for reading!
#re:kinder#rekinder#not art#fun fact!!!#i talk!!!#ive been at this for... two days how yall doing😊#ive thought of doing this since when i started by transcript of rekinder but i wasnt ready to do that after finishing that beast of a scrip#so here it is later than i anticipated! it is more time-consuming than i thought considering i have the benefit of the transcript#so when i was getting to doing mami i was already tired ww 😭 love her but this is just a silly bonus thing i throw out#so im not as ready to spend more than the several hours i already spent than with other funny silly proyects#i have more things i want to work on more😊!!! and also the semester is ending soon ww#ANYWAYYY#THIS WAS FUN THOUGH!!!#originally i wasnt going to count the things you can interact with for shunsuke but they are so obviously said by him i just had to#I WAS GOING TO IGNORE IT BUT THEN MY CONSCIOUSNESS TOLD ME... NO.... YOURE ROBBING HIM OF PERFECTLY FINE LINES!!!! 💔💔#so now his numbers are absurdly high#i still cant believe he said yuuichi more than huh i cannot believe that . like. he says huh 5 times less BUT STILL#i really wrote a whole transcript proofread it for 30+ hours then went back to do a line count for several more hours#and didnt notice the protagonist of this game said the name of my favorite character a million times#I NOTICED A “HUH” MORE THAN A NAME COME ONBRUEJWJFNNW#i dont really make any comments regarding ryou or sayaka in here as much because their numbers are exactly as i had expected#about the same amount not too much... its nothing groundbreaking to make a comment out just saying#if anyone is curious yuu says vamos cantar only 6 times#no one's most said word is particularly surprising to me after shunsuke but i did have a stroke seeing problem pop up for yuu#the document i was writing all of this info in before doing this post was very tidy and organized very well articulated until thay happened#i was perfectly expecting him to mention one of his parents the most overall but when separated from Yuuichi’s heart i did not knwo what#so when problem popped up my gut reaction was thinking that i wasnt making it to the end of the document no one speak to me i felt#IT . IT MAKES SENSE but it isnt fun💔#i wasnt even going to count yuuichis heart most said word until he out yapped himself admittedly#I SEPARATED HIM FROM USUAL YUU FOR THE LOLS I DIDNT THINK HE'D SPEAK THAT MUCH
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I'm so proud of myself about finances in the past couple months. I still struggle with money but I did enough meditation and journaling and practicing about it to make myself able to actually face my loans and credit cards and savings and bills and start really truly organizing and addressing them for the first time in years instead of just flying by the seat of my pants.
Like. This is a huge deal for me. I've felt like I'm in deadly danger every time I've tried to think about money for years and years. I'm finally able to look it in the face and stare it down and start to organize and plan on purpose instead of just keeping up with the minimum to stay afloat. I'm so proud of myself.
It's still a refrain of "GUILT (funny link)" every time I think about money but I'm able to actually make spreadsheets and face the numbers and monthly tracking again, and even make a new full budget which I haven't been able to do in ages.
still feel guilt, overwhelm, and helplessness, but no longer feel as much deep elemental shame and terror. that's progress baby
#we don't need to talk about how many months and months of therapy visits and doctor appointments I put on credit cards#among other things#but I had to put my foot down about it a couple months ago and shout at myself a little saying HEY#I AM SHAKING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS I AM SHOUTING FOR YOU TO HEAR#OF COURSE IT WAS A TERRIBLE FINANCIAL DECISION BUT YOU WEREN'T EVEN EXPECTING TO BE ALIVE#THE CREDIT CARD DEBT WAS NECESSARY TO KEEP YOU ALIVE AND IT DID AND EVERYTHING ELSE IS WAY LESS IMPORTANT THAN THAT#why the FUCK are you feeling SO ASHAMED for making the best decision you knew how to make at the time???#just because you know NOW that you could have tried some other options doesn't mean you did THEN#you may have known enough to feel shame and guilt yes but you would never in a million years have gotten the help you needed fast enough#by attempting to go another route#you didn't trust anyone besides a very few handfuls of people and even them it wasn't fully#and the stress of running it through parental insurance was so terrifying to you bc you didn't know what that would do#and you never had cosigners for anything your whole adult life. it's OKAY#you fucking DID YOUR BEST#YOU HAVE LEARNED. YOU HAVE MADE CHANGES. YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE BETTER#YOU WILL CONTINUE TO LEARN AND IMPROVE OVER TIME#it is not the end of the world. even the utilities sending you to debt collections etc etc#YOU ARE FIGURING IT OUT ONE PIECE AT A TIME#MORE PEOPLE ARE ASHAMED AND AFRAID OF THEIR OWN FINANCES THAN YOU THINK#if the people who fought and argued with and shamed you for considering student loans much less taking them out#had wanted you to actually be financially safer and healthier#they could have just fucking helped out or cosigned your loans or actively helped you find other solutions#instead of spending months and months telling you it was the worst decision ever and would ruin you financially for decades and such#you made the best decisions you could with the level of terror and knowledge that you had. it was enough to keep you alive.#isn't that enough?#isn't it a victory to survive?? isn't that enough??????#god i'm cringing at sharing this but if it's been this hard for me surely at LEAST one of you has also made financial mistakes or regrets#and seeing me be honest that I fucked it all up too and it's a mess and I'm just climbing back through it as best as I can as I go#will hopefully make at least one of you feel a tiny bit less alone
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I actually really enjoyed the link click live action like the beginning was a bit odd, but once we got into the missions it was really engaging and I thought the actors were really good in their roles. they had a way of making the characters feel like.. the characters they’re portraying
#i think cxs esp feels off in the beginning since he’s a version of him with far less parental trauma n has seemingly come to terms with his#lonely life n stagnate existence#this is a cxs that is kinda apathetic#then lu guang comes in and they are meeting for the first time as adults#their dynamic is different due to this#qiao ling is the most consisent since she already had cxs n xu shanshan#but cxs was lacking that relationship with lg#qiao ling even says it: they make eachother better#even tho the ending with dr he was predictable (like yea of course his sister who loves teaching and children is gonna knowingly sacrifice#herself for them) it was still impactful seeing what we all knew come to be#so i can get behind the differences here esp since things start picking up later in the series#the whole thing with lg hair was just funny tho like I didnt need it to be white but it’s hilarious they decided he just dyes it#link click live action#but idk i love dramas like this so that was a big factor in my enjoyment beyond what I already expect from these characters
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Being disabled and relying on someone who sees you as a burden is not something I'd recommend
#atlas adventures#“you're a legal adult”#“either be grateful or get your own transportation”#i am grateful. you just make me late every goddamn time. i almost missed it two weeks ago because you can't balance your schedule#also. i'm autistic and got a d- in online driver's ed. i didn't even pick up my permit because anxiety + covid#also also. we don't have an extra vehicle even if i did have a license#“ride the fucking show bus” you're telling someone with clinical anxieth to call a service from out of town and so.ehow get the money to PA#she then told me to fuck myself no less than five times#yeah she gave me her phone to call my therapist because i've had no service for a WEEK but i knew i'd break her phone so i said no#then she screamed at me AGAIN to not expect her to pay the cancelation fee#this is literally your fault why WOULDN'T you pay it#if i don't get online after today it's because i killed myself because i already can't handle everything and this made everything worse
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this rewatch of sdmi has been wild because once you start taking the talking animals and their place in the worldbuilding seriously it's just like oh wow this is some real final fantasy plot huh. what do you mean the resident discriminated-against beastfolk are not only descended from ancient otherworldly beings masquerading as gods, and not only driven insane even more effectively than non-beastfolk by a curse because of their heritage, and not only serve as apocalyptically powerful vessels for those otherworldly beings, but are easy to read as having been created specifically because they're more powerful vessels than normal animals, and then abandoned to their own devices (being enslaved) for thousands of years until the next time their creators pop into this reality and want a convenient corporeal form to snatch. which game in the series is this
#sdmi#scooby doo: mystery incorporated#shitposting#don't get me started on 'what if they look different to different people depending on what they expect to see'#'we're seeing them through the filter the gang/town would see them through; and/or the filter of the medium itself'#'and that filter might be kind of goofy and a bit abstracted; but still Recognizably Looks Like That Animal'#'if you take that away they look a whole lot less goofy and a *hell* of a lot more uncanny than what we get to see in the show'#'pericles is so completely removed from what his species is supposed to look like--#obviously his head is *way* more human-adjacent than a real parrot; but also there are notable differences from greys specifically--#because he has already been touched by the entity for his entire life; and he looks so completely different before and after the asylum#because the entity's had 20 years of isolation; among people who already see him as a terrifying monster; to turn all his influence on him'#'pericles looks the way he does because we are seeing the *real* pericles'#'or at least more of him than scooby or the others'#'that's what being the entity's special favorite will get you 🙃'#anyway these little fuckers are Interesting Actually and i'm having a lot of fun with them; even if the way canon handles them is upsetting#this isn't necessarily my main headcanon but it's one i like a lot and 'what do they *really* look like' might be a fun design challenge#SDMItag#to draw tag#professor pericles
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this was the best scene thus far i am gonna go ahead and put that out there first
the way the entire world faded out around them to the point they didn't even notice the taxi pulled up until the driver had to say something
but also the way that jaewon seems so comfortable doing this type of thing where he fixes/helps jihyun pull his backpack up and PULLS (not lightly either) jihyun closer to him just to what??? stare into his eyes???
he seems somewhat comfortable initiating this but as soon as things get "too real" he seems to get overwhelmed. when jihyun was helping him draw and moved closer to jaewon he had to back away from the situation and make an excuse to get jihyun to go away for a second. this is one of the only times jihyun has initiated this type of contact himself also, other than maybe ep. 1 where he passes the lighter.
(which we saw how jaewon just stood there stunned for a while lmao) i think it's worth noting that maybe jaewon feels more in control even though it's kinda like he almost can't help himself but initiate this type of thing but also when jihyun kinda shows interest on his part jaewon is like hey woah woah woah..........like you can see the world fading away from him in his eyes when these moments happen or when he looks at jihyun.
it seems like jaewon has this own little world with jihyun like in this moment, he basically completely forgets the world is moving around them and other people exist. it's not like he's the character saying "oh but people will see us." he doesn't even seem to consider that really, because they're not even there? which goes back to how jaewon has these superficial relationships with people around him in his daily life.
then he gets snatched back, like it is a visible difference and moment when he gets pulled back into reality. and that is when he starts to pull himself back and kinda push jihyun away even. i would say most of jaewon's pressures seem internal because of all this, even though his "friends" definitely contribute to it. i don't think most of whatever is going on with him is about his friends or outsiders though because i don't think jaewon is even considering them at all? i don't mean in a selfish way. i talked about this briefly in the tags of the great post by this scholarly poster where jaewon always contradicts himself. because he is not being real with anyone including himself at the times we have seen him because that is his entire character and will be his character arc. pretty much everything i said in the tags was confirmed by these eps where he talks to the surf club president who seems to be his only friend he can be somewhat himself with and his therapist.
i mean that as frustrating as it is to watch jaewon's friends be shitty people......jaewon knows that too. but with jihyun we are seeing him put some type of effort into a relationship whereas the friendships he has... although it may be hard for him to be with jihyun because of whatever internal battles he has, it is probably harder for a character like jaewon to confront that everything else in his life is superficial and he's just been going along with it.
one, to confront that makes it real. if you just let it happen then it's whatever. but to tell someone to stop treating you badly even when you know they won't because the friendship isn't real, it's easier just to leave it as is. but also his character literally says it's his flaw, that he doesn't speak up or show his real self. but he also says that it is exhausting living like that so i suspect he's gonna blow up eventually. honestly when he confronted his friend in the bathroom i was like dang hope he bashes his head in the sink weak hero class style
jaewon even started his relationship with jihyun like this too. everything was oh i'm a senior that will be your friend, call me when you don't even have my number....he's stuck between this performance and persona he has vs real genuine interest in someone. when it gets in that grey area in between his persona (especially when he's around others) and how he really feels and what he really wants these contradictions occur. it's easier to play things off in jest too than admit something is real to you. he probably doesn't even know how to navigate that honestly, when he's been playing this part and just letting things happen to and around him. (he also says that the military was an escape for him since he didn't have to deal with all this). i wonder if his relationship with his ex was a performance as well. just to be "normal" amongst his friends and peers, but who knows.
i am willing to bet the closest we get to jaewon's "real" self is when he is with jihyun and even then it is only glimpses so far. that and when he is truly alone like we saw in the early eps but those moments are few and far between. i am glad he is in therapy lol because that seems like a lot for jihyun but also for jaewon too. i am also willing to bet that this will be a central conflict/plot point when jaewon stops performing and loses pretty much everything he has. and who stays will be who truly cares for him and confronting that is scary as hell. either that or something will happen with the friend or his ex where he will be forced to (probably his relationship with jihyun but at this point everything is fake around him except his relationship with the surf president, but even with her i don't know if he thinks he can be completely honest), and he's gonna react badly and i can't blame him
#the eighth sense#extremely long sorry i don't know why i typed all this so i put it under a read more#just me talking about jaewon#i can already see the pitchforks coming for his head when something happens and it hurts jihyun#i don't want to see jihyun get hurt either but jaewon is my friend and i am sticking beside him#this is less of an analysis and more of me just ranting and rambling so don't expect anything profound or unsaid before#i just like his character and this show and think it is interesting#i havent read this over because i am too lazy so it may not even make any sense sorry#five live reaction
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