#but here. she is released upon the internet

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Well...who goes there?

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Why I Dislike Rhysand, Part 1: Not a Martyr Like You Think

So. . this rant has been a long time coming. I finally came to the conclusion that it would be too much to include all in one post. There are so many different things I feel the need to touch on and include that I decided I’m going to be breaking it up. Enjoy Part 1. 

I also feel the need to start off by saying that I’ve been an SJM reader for nearly ten years now. I remember when ACOTAR first came out. I remember reading ACOMAF upon its release and nearly being blown over by my intense disgust and dislike for how a story was handled. ACOMAF was released in 2016, so I’ve been holding on to a lot of this for the better part of seven years. I don’t know how many of you were a part of the ACOTAR or SJM community here on Tumblr back in those days but let me tell you. . .it was something else. The fevered Rhysand obsession and worship was WILD. The fans were CUT THROAT and had no mercy. If you even HINTED at the fact that you felt like Rhys was not All That, they came for you and they came hard. I have never been one to engage in ridiculous arguments with strangers on the internet so I kept most of my feelings to myself. It’s giving me immense satisfaction and validation to see so many people begin to express things that are so like minded with how I feel. Keep fighting the good fight!

SO! We’re going to dive deep with this and go back to before the series chronologically even started. 

A huge part of why I so strongly dislike Rhysand is that I find it very hard to sympathize with him regarding his time UTM. 

Yes, you read that correctly.

Now, I realize that that sentence alone is enough to cause a lot of people to click away from this in disgust immediately. I challenge those people to keep reading and to hear me out. I try and make it a point to back everything I have to say with canon facts and logical sense. One of the fatal (or perhaps not so fatal) flaws I have as a reader is that 99% of the time, I am not able to just let things go and absorb them at face value for the sake of an entertaining story. You can sell me just about anything and I’ll be able to find some enjoyment in it. . .if it makes sense. If something exists in a scenario that is contradictory or just plain illogical, I tend to fixate on it and not be able to let it go (I call this the Ravenclaw in me). Sometimes I almost resent that I’m like this because I feel like it prevents me from just having a good time with literature, but for better or worse, this is the kind of reader I am. 

Unfortunately, the ACOTAR series, specifically many things that have to do with Rhys and the Inner Circle, are riddled with things like this. Now, it’s no secret to any SJM reader that Sarah J Maas is OBSESSED with Rhys and the Inner Circle. Like. . .OBSESSED. I’ve truly never seen anything like it from an author. She so plainly and clearly holds these characters on pedestals and believes them to be the best of the best. She also so plainly and clearly works very hard to try and get the readers to feel the same way. This is why I say that SJM is one of the most confusing and frustrating authors I’ve ever read about. She clearly feels this way and wants US to feel this way. So you’d think, if that was her end goal, that she would simply just write characters who really ARE the best of the best and deserve to be on pedestals. Easy, right? She has total control over the actions, thoughts, and words of these characters, every other character, the plot, the narrative, the direction of the entire story. So just. . .write them as being perfect saintly beings, as you so clearly view them as?? You have the power to do this?

But here’s where the confusing and frustrating part comes in: She doesn’t.

Instead of giving us these characters who truly ARE as virtuous and amazing and wonderful as she thinks they are, she instead gives us characters who do horrific, selfish, and highly questionable things across the span of the series and then gaslights her readers by continuing to hold these characters on pedestals and laud them as being The Best In Every Way. . .while their atrocious deeds are sitting RIGHT THERE on the page being completely ignored in every way. It’s one of the most unaware and bizarre things I’ve ever witnessed from an author and honestly, from a group of readers. The amount of people who just blindly accept anything SJM says as Gospel is wild to me. I really don’t understand how people just swallow this stuff and can’t see it for what it is. Open your mind to just an ounce of critical thinking and I really do believe you’ll begin to see things in a new way. 

So. . .my point in all that being: SJM clearly wanted us to have a ton of sympathy for Rhys from his ordeal with Amarantha and his time UTM. The scene is set perfectly! Valiant and selfless Rhysand volunteers himself to play Amarantha’s whore in order to keep her attention from the city and the people Rhys loves so much. He lives for 50 years having to “service” a psychotic evil woman who actively tries to bring destruction to his entire country. Horrible, right??? Unthinkable. What he went through!!! What he had to do!!! No one has a selfless heart like he does!!!!

The only problem is. . .this entire scenario has a million holes in it. Let’s explore some of them. 

So, when Amarantha returns to Prythian, Rhys heads to her little party without any backup from the IC. He plans to kill Amarantha himself but of course, she tricks all the High Lords and captures their power before this can happen. 

Sidenote: This is another thing I can’t stand about Rhysand’s power: We are told over and over and over that he is THE MOST powerful High Lord not just of the seven current High Lords, but in all of Prythian’s HISTORY. In the High Lord’s meeting during ACOWAR (top contender for my least favorite scene of the entire series), Feyre says: 

The others, who had been watching with disdain and amusement and boredom, now turned to my mate. Now possessed a shadow of fear in their eyes as they realized who and what, exactly, sat amongst them. 

Brethren, and yet not. Tamlin was a High Lord, as powerful as any of them.

Except for the ones at my side. Rhys was as different from them as humans were to Fae. 

Okay, first of all:

Second of all. . .once again, we are faced with SJM’s convenient Whatever-I-Need-To-Happen-Will-Happen story telling. She claims that Rhys is as different from all the other High Lords as humans are to fae. And despite this, he still gets tricked and overtaken by Amarantha, the exact same as all the rest of them. His powers were ripped away by that spell just the same as all the others. Being the so-called “Most Powerful High Lord in Prythian’s History” didn’t mean anything in that situation. He’s the mOSt POwerfUL HiGH LOrd iN HiSTORy, but was able to be totally overtaken by Amarantha just like everyone else. Looks like that title really should have gone to HER!

Anyway. . .as Rhys feels his powers being ripped away, we are told that in desperation, he “threw the shield around Velaris”, binding it to my friends so that they had to remain or risk that protection collapsing and used the last dregs to tell them mind to mind what was happening and to stay away”. 

What a noble sacrifice right??

INCONSISTENCY ALERT: There were ALREADY spells and protections hiding Velaris and there had been for years!!!!!! 

The first time I read Rhys’s explanation of this, I was super confused. SJM tells it like he was the one who created Velaris’s shield and protection right there in this moment. That this act was the only thing that kept it hidden and safe from Amarantha. But like. . .this is not the case!!!! 

Don’t believe me??

“Did you even think for one moment,” I said, my voice like gravel, “to extend that luck to anywhere else? Anyone else?”

“Other cities,” he said calmly, “are known to the world. Velaris has remained secret beyond the borders of these lands for millenia. Amarantha did not touch it because she did not know it existed. None of her beasts did. No one in the other courts knows of its existence, either.”

“How?”

“Spells and wards and my ruthless, ruthless ancestors, who were willing to do anything to preserve a piece of goodness in our wretched world.”

(ACOMAF, page 144)

The Velaris Wiki page states:

To preserve it, an ancient High Lord kept Velaris a secret, and so did his descendants. There are many spells on the city itself—laid by him, and his heirs, that make those who trade here unable to say anything about the city and possess the skill to convincingly lie in order to keep the origin of their goods and ships, hidden from the rest of the world. Rumor has it that an ancient High Lord doused his blood upon the stones and river to keep that spell eternal. 

And then in ACOMAF, we get:

“I used the remainder of my power to shield them all from sight and sound. I had only enough for one city--one place. I chose the one that had been hidden from history already. I chose, and now must live with the consequences of knowing there were more left outside who suffered. But for those here. . .anyone flying or traveling near Velaris would see nothing but barren rock, and if they tried to walk through it, they’d find themselves suddenly deciding otherwise. And because my powers were focused on shielding them all, Feyre, I had very little to use against Amarantha.”

So, which is it?? Did your ancestors shield and protect Velaris or did you?? 

Do you see the contradictory writing here? 

Again, in ACOMAF:

“You are safe here, and safe anywhere in this city, for that matter. Velaris’s walls are well protected and have not been breached in 5,000 years.”

According to what Sarah J Maas herself has written, the city of Velaris already had extensive wards and protection on it for millennia. The city had been a safe haven from the rest of the world and a complete secret for 5,000 years. So I was very confused as to why it was being made out to be that Rhys made this Grand Ultimate Sacrifice to shield the city and its inhabitants from Amarantha, when this was already the case before this. She wouldn't have touched it because she didn’t know about it. . .words from Rhys’s own mouth!!!! 

I’m sure in Sarah’s mind, she just needed to make a way for the IC to not come after Rhys and try and help him, so this is what she came up with. Regardless. . .Velaris already had protection on it that did not rely on Cassian, Azriel, Mor, and Amren. You’re saying that with the last shreds of his power, Rhysand undid centuries old ancient blood protection of his ancestors, created an entirely NEW foolproof protection plan, and bound it to the Inner Circle?? 

I’d also like to point out that Kallias, High Lord of Winter, did essentially the same thing with Viviane and the Winter Court. 

And in those last moments, when his power was ripped from him by that spell. . .Kallias had flung out the remnants to warn her. To tell Viviane he loved her. And then he begged her to protect their people.

So she had. 

As Mor and my friends had protected Velaris, Viviane had veiled and guarded the small city under her watch, offering safe harbor to those who made it. 

(ACOWAR, pages 410-411)

These situations are exact parallels of each other. Kallias and Rhysand couldn’t protect their entire courts, but they were able to throw shields and protections around the one city where their loved ones were. The Winter Court was ravaged by Amarantha’s troops, we know this from the story. But evidently, this one city where Viviane was remained protected. And in this situation, I have infinitely more respect for Kallias than I do for Rhysand.

Rhysand claimed he became Amarantha’s whore in order to keep enemies from looking too closely at who he really was and who he loved. He serviced her in bed and committed atrocious deeds in her name for 50 years. All this, he claimed, to protect Velaris and his loved ones. 

So please explain to me how Kallias was able to do the same thing. . .WITHOUT doing Amarantha’s dirty work. 

As I said, I know fully well that the Winter Court in general was not spared by Amarantha. We all read about the children who had their minds wiped (conveniently by some OTHER daemati who we never learn about or hear about ever again). It sounds like Amarantha tried her hardest to destroy the Court in general. But remember. . .the Night Court is not exclusively Velaris. If you look at the map of Prythian, the Night Court is huge! It’s the largest of all the Courts. We have no idea what happened to the rest of the Night Court that was outside of Velaris’s protection. Since it’s such a big deal that Velaris is such a whole, untouched city, I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that it probably wasn’t spared any more than the rest of Prythian was. So it stands to reason that both the Night Court and the Winter Court had one city that remained protected while the rest of their Court was destroyed.

Even further than that. . .it is specifically stated that Viviane offered shelter and protection to anyone who made it to that protected city where she was. Kallias begged her to protect their people and she did. It was a city of safe haven for any refugees who could make it there. (Viviane was Prythian’s first High Lady and that’s the tea). 

Rhysand KNEW what was happening all throughout Prythian during this time. . .he helped partake in it!!! Did he think to offer the same protection for innocent refugees in Velaris during this time??

We all know the answer.

I’m not saying that Rhys was obligated to do this. In a horrible situation like that, I’m sure many people would enter survival mode and adapt an “every man for himself” mindset. It’s an extremely Slytherin move to make, and I don’t really mean that in a bad way. But at the end of the day, Rhysand prioritized his friend group over every innocent citizen of Prythian. 

Kallias and Viviane didn’t do that. 

Again, I don’t entirely blame Rhysand for this!! I think a lot of people would have made the same decision!! But just. . .don’t ask me to act like Rhys’s decision was some grand ultimate sacrifice that was more than any other High Lord made. It’s not. SJM, if you want Rhys to be my fave, why are you putting characters in here like K and V who do the more noble and honorable thing?? 

Kallias didn’t have mind powers where he was able to erase the knowledge of Viviane from every one UTM who knew about her as Rhys did with the Inner Circle. There weren’t already extensive, centuries-old shields and protection guarding the city that she was in. And despite this, he STILL asked her to protect their people, and she kept the city open for refugees who could make it there. AND he remained true to his cause and didn’t do Amarantha’s dirty work for her to “keep people from looking too closely”. 

And yet Feyre and everyone else tell us constantly that “no one sacrificed as much” as Rhys. Yeah, no. My respect for Kallias and Viviane is 10000000x greater than Rhysand. Sorry, not sorry. 

And this leads me to my next point. 

One of the biggest issues I have with Rhys’s time UTM in general, is that his actions are treated by the narrative and the other characters as the MOST sacrificial out of all the High Lords. 

As I’ve expressed above, I do not buy this for one second. And I actually find it pretty insulting on behalf of all the other High Lords!!

Rhysand’s choices and actions were entirely self-serving. He did nothing to fight against Amarantha or protect citizens of Prythian in general. It was entirely about his city and his friends. Again, I’m not saying I condemn him for this! It was a horrible situation and this was what he chose to do. People do crazy things for the people they love. But that’s my point. . .it was a CHOICE. He CHOSE to “service” Amarantha. He CHOSE to do her dirty work and commit atrocious deeds in her name. And every choice he made protected no one but the people who were important to HIM. So I’m just not really sure how/why I’m expected to feel the greatest amount of sympathy for HIM, over the other High Lords, many of whom stayed in open rebellion and never aided Amarantha. How easy would it have been for any of the other High Lords to attempt the same thing he did, and pretend to sympathize with Amarantha? Maybe not “servicing” her as Rhys did, but pretending to deflect to her side, doing dirty work for her, in order to attempt to spare their Courts and THEIR loved ones??? Did anyone else do this??? NO.

Rhys says he bows for no one but that isn’t true. He bowed for Amarantha. The other High Lords did not. 

The High Lords of Summer, Day, and Winter lost their lives by refusing to submit to Amarantha. (ACOTAR, page 284). 

And I’m supposed to have the greatest amount of sympathy for Rhysand??

People talk about how horrible it was for Rhys during those 50 years Under the Mountain. I’m not here to say his life was pleasant. But what I AM here to say is that in comparison to what the other High Lords’ lives were like. . .I find it hard to have MORE sympathy for him than the others. 

“If that was what she wanted, then that was what she would get. I made her beg, and scream, and used my lingering powers to make it so good for her that she wanted more. Craved more.”

“For fifty years--whenever I was inside her, I’d think about killing her. She had no idea. None. Because I was so good at my job that she thought I enjoyed it too. So she began to trust me--more than the others. Especially when I proved what I could do to her enemies.”

Rhys is “so good at his job” of killing Amarantha’s enemies (and one assumes that Amarantha’s enemies are, you know, PEOPLE FIGHTING FOR PRYTHIAN AND AGAINST HER OPPRESSION) and so thorough in their sexual acts, that Amarantha begins to trust him. He is allowed certain freedoms that no one else has. He is not trapped for 50 straight years Under the Mountain. In ACOTAR alone, we see him visit the Spring Court three different times. Do you think any of those other High Lords saw daylight even once during those 50 years?? 

He is clearly allowed to move about as he wants to Under the Mountain. He visits Feyre in her cell several times, seemingly without Amarantha knowing. She is a prisoner of Amarantha, but he’s allowed to do whatever he wants to and with her. 

Essentially. . .Rhys lived as a member of Amarantha’s court UTM. He served as her fuck buddy and one of her main attack dogs. To our knowledge he wasn’t tortured, starved, or forced to watch, powerless, as someone or something he loved was dangled over him. High Lords were losing their lives living in open rebellion against Amarantha, while Rhys lived with a level of security that no one else had. I am NOT saying that servicing Amarantha was pleasant for him, obviously it wasn’t. But at the end of the day. . .this was a choice he made. Everyone makes choices and has consequences of those choices. Rhys chose to serve Amarantha in bed and was given a position of power and security that no one else had. The other High Lords chose to openly oppose and resist her and subsequently had to suffer and live in terror with none of the freedom or choices Rhys was given. I honestly fail to see how Rhys’s decision was more valiant than all the rest. 

Again, this is NOT me trying to say that Rhys did not suffer at all UTM. I completely acknowledge that he suffered his own type of torment. I just get very sick and tired of him being treated as if he is the Greatest, Most Suffering, and Only Martyr in all of Prythian. 

I often say that Sarah writes all of these characters and this entire story in a way that elevates and favors Rhysand, even if in doing so she has people saying and doing things that make absolutely no logical sense. Everything that happens after UTM is a prime example of this. 

The fact that the other Courts and High Lords are so quick to trust Rhysand and work so closely with him after the events of UTM is downright ridiculous and makes absolutely no sense. All of them have EVERY reason to be extremely mistrustful, if not openly hostile to him, after what they witnessed for 50 years. I myself do not understand most of his actions during ACOTAR. Let’s dive into all of THAT.

I made a post separately on this, but I’ll still comment on it here. Rhys claims that he “thought” about killing Amarantha the entire time he worked for her. However, he claims:

“I couldn’t use my powers to harm her, and she had shielded herself against physical attacks”.

There’s nothing I hate more than contrived convenient story-telling. To me, this is on the same level as Feyre not being able to have a C-section in ACOSF. We need it to be true, so we’re just going to say it’s true. . .no matter how little sense it makes in this context. 

Rhys says that he, the most powerful High Lord ever born, had his power ripped away by Amarantha. On page 520 of ACOMAF he says, “Within a few seconds, my power belonged wholly to Amarantha”. 

But does it??? Let’s take a look at all the things Rhys is able to do with his power during his time under Amarantha, without her knowledge or consent:

Uses it to enhance the sexual experience between him and Amarantha, making her beg and scream, and crave him (ACOMAF, page 520)

Broke into the minds of the three fae who cornered Feyre on Calanmai, reshaped their lives, their histories, and then made them confess to Amarantha that they were rebels (ACOMAF, page 523)

“Against my violation, my body straightened, every muscle going taut, my bones straining. Magic, but deeper than that. Power that seized everything inside me and took control: even my blood flowed where he willed it.” (ACOTAR, page 239)

“I couldn’t move. An invisible, talon-tipped hand scraped against my mind. And I knew--one push, one swipe of those mental claws, and who I was would cease to exist.” (ACOTAR, page 239)

Broke into Clare Beddor’s mind when she was captured and took away her pain, told her to scream when she was expected to, then finally slipped into her mind and ended her life (ACOMAF, page 524)

Visits Feyre in her cell UTM and heals her shattered arm completely (where was this power to save her from a C-Section???)

Mentally controls and commands the guards to stay out of Feyre’s cell and not touch her. “If you do, you’re to take your own daggers and gut yourselves. Understood?” Dazed, numb nods, then they blinked and straightened. I hid my trembling. Glamour, mind control--whatever it was he had done, it worked. They beckoned--but didn’t dare touch me. (ACOTAR, page 344)

Enters Feyre’s mind to influence and help her during her second task

Convenient storytelling at its finest. He may not have total control over the full extent of his power, but it is abundantly clear that he definitely has control of some of it! And yet we’re told that Rhys is completely unable to do anything to harm or kill Amarantha, because she holds all his power!! It belonged “wholly to her” as he said! But he’s able to do all of this stuff without her knowledge???

Forget killing her with his power!!! Lysandra killed Arobynn Hamel by slitting his throat in the middle of the night! I’m sorry, I do not find it believable that the Most Powerful High Lord in Prythian’s HISTORY was completely unable to find a way to end this bitch’s life in 50 years, ESPECIALLY when it’s explicitly stated that she allows him certain freedoms and he does things without her knowledge. I just don’t!!!! 

So if I’M thinking that. . .what do you think the rest of the people UTM were thinking??? Can you see how they might be very suspicious of him??

In addition to this. . .his actions regarding Tamlin, and eventually Feyre, make zero logical sense in the context of their situation. Let’s take a look at THAT mess.

So Rhysand is suffering in this horrible awful torment, having to play Amarantha’s whore and do evil things for her. He hates every minute of it, he grows to hate himself, he claims. 

And in this giant mess, there is only ONE road to freedom for not just him, but for everyone. And that’s Tamlin.

“Then she cursed Tamlin. And my other great enemy became the one loophole that might free us all.”

Rhys knows about the curse. He knows the stipulations and what Tamlin must accomplish. He knows that doing so will free them all.

Wouldn't you then think that he would do everything in his power to attempt to aid and assist Tamlin during the course of those 50 years?????

I know he hates Tamlin by that point anyway, due to the rivalry between their families. But, my God. . .would that really matter at this point?? If me and my entire country were stuck in the position Prythian was in, I don’t really think I’d give a shit who our freedom depended on. It could be my greatest mortal enemy and I’m pretty sure I’d still be like Okay Buddy, let’s do this. I wouldn't say I’d LIKE it. But I’d use whoever I could to get me and everyone else out of that situation. 

If Rhysand, the Inner Circle, Velaris, and every other High Fae in Prythian’s lives and futures depended on Tamlin getting a human girl to fall in love with him, I would think Rhysand would be doing whatever he possibly could to further this along and make it happen. Don’t try and say that he couldn’t do it because Amarantha would find out. Rhys WAS able to keep secrets from her and do things she didn’t know about (see my big list up there! ^^) Don’t try and say that he wouldn't risk dropping his Bad Guy Mask because it would make people look “too closely” at him and possibly target Velaris and the IC (I would have a million comebacks to that. As I’ve already said, there were ALREADY extensive shields and protections guarding Velaris and had been for years. Rhys had wiped the knowledge of the IC from the minds of everyone who knew about them. And wouldn't the safer, better option for the IC be that the curse was broken??? So if he really wanted to protect them, this was the #1 thing he should be doing!!!!)

When it became clear to us all in ACOMAF that Rhys was not in fact, really a bad guy, the very first thing I immediately wondered was, “If this were the case, why was he not trying to HELP Tamlin all those years???” If that was their one loophole and their one shot at freedom and ending the nightmare they were in, why on EARTH did Rhys spend 50 years bullying, manipulating, and tormenting the ONE PERSON who had a shot at freeing them??!?!?!? 

Rhys tells Feyre in Chapter 54 of ACOMAF:

“I didn’t know. That you were with Tamlin. That you were staying at the Spring Court. Amarantha sent me that day after the Summer Solstice because I’d been so successful on Calanmai. I was prepared to mock him, maybe pick a fight.”

Again, do not tell me that Rhys was a slave to Amarantha so there wasn’t anything he could do. That is NONSENSE. After Calanmai he crafts an entire fabricated story to tell her and brings people he’s mind manipulated into validating what he’s saying. 

Instead of offering Tamlin support, or at the very least, leaving him alone, he chooses to terrorize him and his people. He leaves severed heads on the manor house grounds, taunts Tamlin about the curse, and taunts Lucien about his mother and his dead lover. Listen to what he says to Tamlin and Lucien, before he knows Feyre is there: 

“What a pity that you must endure the brunt of it, Tamlin--and an even greater pity that you’re so resigned to your fate. You might be stubborn, but this is pathetic.”

“Little Lucien. You certainly gave them something to talk about when you switched to Spring. Such a sad thing, to see your lovely mother in perpetual mourning over losing you.”

“She’s already preparing for you. Given your current state, I think I can safely report that you’ve already been broken and will reconsider her offer.”

This is flat out disgusting behavior. This is the man you want me to have sympathy for, to view as the “better man”. Tamlin and Lucien were even greater victims at this point than Rhys was himself. They were running out of time after desperately fighting a losing battle, with the entire weight of Prythian on their shoulders. Rhys’s actions do not make sense. He is digging his own grave by behaving this way. If he wanted himself and everyone to be free so badly, I’m really not sure why he’s going out of his way to mock Tamlin, make his life difficult, and taunt him about not breaking the curse. 

But things don’t stop there! They get even MORE illogical when Feyre enters the picture!!

So once Rhys discovers Feyre’s presence, he immediately picks up on the emotional connection between her and Tamlin. In this situation, I would expect his first reaction to be glee. He didn’t know who Feyre was at that point, other than a girl he’d been dreaming about (and he later reveals that he first believed these dreams meant that she would be the one to save them all). Did anyone really expect Tamlin to break that curse?? Did anyone really expect him to find a human girl with hate in her heart for the Fae and have her fall in love with him?? I don’t think for a minute Amarantha actually believed there was even the slightest chance of this happening, just like she didn’t really believe Feyre had any chance of winning all three of her trials. It’s a mind game, nothing more. But here Tamlin is, on the very brink of meeting the very specific standards set by Amarantha. 

But what does Rhys do? Amp up the dramatics to scare Tamlin into sending Feyre back across the wall, therefore ensuring that the curse will never be broken. 

His reasoning, he tells us in ACOMAF, is:

“I made Tamlin beg--as Amarantha had made me beg, to show him how powerless he was to save you. And I prayed my performance was enough to get him to send you away. Back to the human realm, away from Amarantha. Because she was going to find you. If you broke that curse, she was going to find you and kill you.”

Um. . .if Feyre breaks the curse, that means that Tamlin gets his powers back. If Tamlin gets his powers back, Amarantha is dead. If Tamlin didn’t do it, certainly one of the other High Lords would have. If you’ll recall, Feyre DOES break the curse and when that happens, Amarantha is dead in literally seconds. Her power isn’t brute strength, it’s trickery. She is no match for Tamlin whatsoever. She literally backs away in fear and pleads for her life. It’s not even a close competition!!! She doesn’t get a single scratch on him! 

Now, I will fully admit. . .this was also something I always found kind of dumb on Tamlin’s part as well. It’s seen as this grand act of love that he sends her away and puts her safety before all of Prythian’s but I’ve always been like. . .dude. You were literally A DAY away from getting out of this thing. Tamlin, as a High Lord with his full power returned, really couldn’t shield and protect Feyre in the time it would take him to kill Amarantha? Yes, he wouldn't be able to properly protect her under their current circumstances without any of his real power, but that was the whole point of the curse. . .if Feyre told Tamlin she loved him and meant it, his power would be returned. The way in which he would be able to protect her would not be the same. You’d think at the point they were at, both Tamlin AND Rhysand would be bouncing around like the singing candlestick and clock from Beauty and the Beast trying to woo a confession out of Feyre. Kallias was able to shield Viviane for 50 years while his Court was under direct attack, I have to believe Tamlin could shield Feyre for the very short time it would take him, or any other High Lord, to end Amarantha. 

Rhys later says:

“If there was a shot of freeing us from Amarantha, you were it. I thought. . .I thought the Cauldron had been sending me these dreams to tell me that you would be the one to save us. Save my people.”

So. . .if this were the case, wouldn't it make more sense to just get a happy little “I love you” out of her before the 50 years were up? Tamlin and the High Lord’s powers would return and Amarantha would be “bloody ribbons”, as SJM likes to say, in seconds. Which is exactly what happened. All the struggle and strife of her trials UTM totally avoided!! 

What I’m essentially trying to say here is that most of Rhys’s actions during this time were in direct contradiction to what he claimed he really wanted. If Tamlin was Prythian’s only shot at freedom for all those years, you’d think he would be trying to secretly aid him in some way, or at the very least, not go out of his way to torment him. If Feyre was in Tamlin’s house, clearly in love with him, and the Curse was expiring in one day, you’d think he’d go back to Amarantha and be like “Nope, sorry, nothing to report” and pray the two of them would get it together for the sake of Prythian. 

Essentially, what I’m trying to say here is that I struggle to have a ton of sympathy for Rhys during this time because I feel as if the explanations that are given for his behavior and actions are flimsy and don’t hold up against most arguments. He felt as if he HAD to become Amarantha’s lover and lapdog in order to keep her from figuring things out about his friends and trying to hurt them. . .who were concealed in a city that hadn’t been breached for 5,000 years and the knowledge of them had been wiped from every person who knew them UTM. He “couldn’t” kill or hurt Amarantha because his power belonged “wholly” to her. . .but he was able to use his powers in ways that worked against her without her knowledge or consent about tons of other things. He was so tormented and miserable in his time UTM that he. . .mocked and tormented the one person who had a shot at freeing them all. When he saw that Tamlin was right on the brink of actually breaking the curse he. . .manipulated him into ensuring that it would never be broken. All the while being surrounded by other leaders who did not have the luxury of shielding their loved ones in an anciently protected city, who worked to help all innocent citizens of Prythian, and who were losing their lives over their refusal to submit to an evil tyrant. I have a vastly larger degree of sympathy and respect for these other High Lords than I do with Rhysand. I find Rhys to be either very self-serving, or doing things that seem to directly contradict what he claims he wants. I do not blame any of the High Lords for being wary and mistrustful of him after UTM--it makes perfect sense that they would (but that’s a topic for another section of this rant!). This is a prime example of SJM self-sacrificing through her writing. I can guarantee you I wouldn't feel as strongly about this as I do after hearing it beaten into my head over and over what a noble, selfless, honorable hero Rhys was during this time. I’m sorry, it doesn’t add up to me. Too many holes, too many contradictions. Which, unfortunately, is pretty standard fare when it comes to Rhys.

Remember, this was only Part 1!! Part 2--Why Rhys is actually a terrible High Lord--coming soon! 

[asexualbookbird]

Immediately forgets everything that happened in June. Uh. I threw a tea party! Finished a knit hat! Did one (1) queer corvid piece! Started playing baldurs gate! Read some good books! SAW SOME SANDHILL CRANES!!!! Found new enrichment in the form of a new walking route! A busy busy month! Didn't read as much as I intended, but I did get to check off five more books on my Reading Books I Own chart so I call that a win.

The Adventures of Amina Al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakranorty ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐- WHAT A FUN BOOK! "Adventure" is the perfect word for this. Yes, it's a trilogy with only one book out, but this also works so well on its own, as individual books SHOULD! It's its own little thing. Wrapped up neat and tidy with little threads to pick up in the future. I had so much fun and the audiobook was a DELIGHT, I want to read it again immediately.

The Novice by Taran Matharu ⭐- This has been sitting on my shelf since its release. It moved homes with me. It will not be doing so again. Bland, generic, poorly written. Proof just because you were an internet success, doesn't mean you don't need an editor. Also proof that publishing is about Luck and Connections. I know goodreads ratings mean Nothing, but come on. Why is this one so high. Did people really enjoy it that much? HOW??

Translation State by Ann Leckie ⭐⭐⭐⭐- Okay. Look. This was not my favorite Leckie novel. In fact it very well could by me least favorite Leckie novel. HOWEVER. Even then, it was still fun and enjoyable. I wish it ended differently, but I still loved all the characters and how they interact. I do want to reread this as well, because I remember enjoying Ancillary Justice more the second time around and I wonder if the same will happen here.

What Moves The Dead by T Kingfisher ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - A reread! To get ready for What Feasts At Night! Even knowing all the secrets, it's still a perfectly bite sized creepy read. My favorite thing about Kingfishers writing is how even with the darkest subjects she still manages to add humor. And it never seems out of place! It's a great breather for the reader but doesn't detract from the tension. Do not recommend reading this while walking through a field of bunnies.

What Feasts At Night by T Kingfisher ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - I gave What Moves The Dead four stars at my initial read through, so I wonder if this will ALSO change to five stars upon rereading. I had to read the first few chapters twice for them to stick, and ended up switching to the audiobook which was very well done. I really didn't expect another book about Alex Easton, but I'm hooked now to be honest. I mean, stop putting this soldier in Situations, but also. I want to know what other Situations ka gets into. Angus and Miss Potter are adorable.

The library has a few summer reading games with prizes so my reading in the upcoming months will be influenced by those. Someone said there might even be a local bookstore gift package in the mix and I Want That. I do still want to do the Bone Season updated read, if for no other reason than to get rid of those books so I don't have to pack and move them. Other than that, no reading plans. I've read nearly every book that's on the shelf in my bedroom, which, wow, so it's getting harder to choose what to read. I guess that's a good thing! Leaves more room to reread old favorites.

[artbyblastweave]

Just finished watching the new Blorbo-generating Superman show everyone is talking about. Some preliminary notes:

This isn’t a knock on the show’s quality, but this rendition of Clark, Lois and Jimmy very much feel like they’re being written as close to children or teenagers as possible without actually retooling the show to be My Adventures With Superboy. I think we’re still living under the shadow of the hammer which fell upon Infinity Train for having “no child entry point.” This is in contrast S:TAS, which I described once as being a show about Adults With Jobs in a way very few contemporary shows are; they were in a cartoon but they themselves weren’t cartoons. 

Downstream of this, the dialogue/spoken humor, from the power trio in particular, constantly skirts the line between grating and endearing; it’s very much in what I think of as the She-Ra Register (indeed, the two shows share a producer) and the She-Ra-Register was hit or miss for me in the titular show.  (I like it a lot more here, though- In MAWS’s favor, the 23-year-old characters aren’t bouncing-off-the-walls whilst in a literal war zone.) This is less true of the villains, Livewire and Slade in particular- they don’t speak more realistically, necessarily, but they feel more grounded, like refugees from a grittier cartoon. I like this rendition of Livewire a lot. 

Unpacking Livewire a little more. Livewire’s implementation here is interesting. Livewire’s original character concept- a radio shock-jock who picked fights with Superman to drive ratings before getting powers and fighting him for real- was topical and novel upon its release, but I’ve never felt a great deal of attachment to it because it felt like the shock-jock component ran out of stuff to do in the story after her first appearance. Therefore I don’t mourn its absence here.  Livewire as originally envisioned is one of a handful of supervillains (along with Mysterio) whose schtick would actually be even more plausible in today’s society than at the time of their creation; the internet being what it is, she could plausibly remain a content creator of some stripe without getting deplatformed even after turning into a supervillain. But I like the Livewire we got- a woman who just wants to get paid but instead is going to have to live in a superhero setting for the rest of her life.

Deathstroke is interesting as well. Deathstroke’s personal timeline is something I don’t think about a ton due to the omnifluid chronological soup where every comic hero has been their current age forever, but in a timeline that’s being written from scratch to make sense, then yeah, he would have to be a young gun concurrently with the rise of the first wave of superheroes, in order to be a seasoned, renowned freelancer when the Titans are active as an independent team. His showing in the pilot strikes a great balance between Genuinely Cool (the fight sequences) Pointedly Unlikable (any time he opens his mouth) and Skeevy Sadist (the interrogation sequence with Livewire at the end of the pilot.) I really hope they don’t try to do an anti-hero thing with him.

One thing I appreciated about S:TAS is that it took its sweet time getting Clark into costume; the entire first episode was just about the fall of Krypton, it was the Jor-El Show, and in my opinion this did a ton of legwork towards grounding the destruction of Krypton as a meaningful tragedy. MAWS’s pacing felt a little pinched in comparison, particularly because it’s basically a loose remake of the SATS pilot that’s 22 minutes shorter. But one thing I think it knocked out of the park was the scene where Clark investigates his spaceship. in SATS it was basically one additional point on his upward trajectory towards superheroism; it gives him some needed context and he gets over the shock very quickly in no small part because Jor-El’s message is legible. By contrast, the scene in MAWS where young Clark discovers the ship is much more of a character beat. You find this gigantic alien construct lurking just below the surface of your beloved childhood home. Interfacing with it produces an image of a strangely dressed man speaking in an unintelligible language, and then the ground nearly swallows your adopted parents (it’s not NOT a metaphor!) No shit he didn’t want to revisit this until he was an adult and his hand was forced! And, to loop this back around to the start of the paragraph, I’m really, really on board with an inscrutable Jor-El and a deeply visually alien Krypton instead of having all of episode one be The Jor-El show. Not totally sure I want this to turn out to be a Light Hope/Viltrum take on Krypton That Was, but there’s some compelling ambiguity here! I’m very tempted to read something into the fact that he’s missing an eye, and that Krypton seems to have been destroyed by some sort of weapon being deployed against the sun.

Also it’s interesting that they seem to be going with Kryptonian Tech Diaspora as a Unified Origin For Superhuman Weirdness, if Livewire’s Kryptonian-powered harness is anything to go by. I’m a sucker for assembling disparate elements of comic-book mythology into a unified whole! And I’m intrigued by the implications that there’s been some form of R-and-D on recovered Kryptonian materials- Superman coming in at the tail of Krypton’s impact on the planet. I wonder if they’re going to do a Transformers: The Animated Series move, where the generally higher level of tech at play in Metropolis is downstream of salvaged Krypto-tech.

To circle back to the power trio- one thing about Lois that I’m realizing is that the secret sauce is that every version of her has to be, on some level, in some way, a little bit of a jerk. In versions where she’s an accomplished reporter (S:TAS and even the original comics) that translates as her being dismissive (sometimes justifiably so) or really competitive.  MAWS Lois is an interesting spin on this- arguably she’s using people to get what she wants, but it’s not calculated, there’s no component of needing to defend her position against a challenger- it’s just rooted in the myopia of thinking her plan is the best plan and wanting her new friends along for the ride/to share in the spoils, before running headlong into the reality of Clark’s anger at being deceived. It’s a self-centeredness that’s much more conducive to a considered character arc- as much as I liked S:ATS, it wasn’t really a character-arcy kind of show for the supporting cast. It was a show about Superman. Much more of a triumvirate effect going on with Clark, Lois, and Jimmy, by contrast.

On this note- also interesting is the distinction between the origin of the name “Superman” in S:TAS and MAWS. Lois comes up with it in both versions, but in S:TAS she’s being cynical about it- she namedrops Nietzsche, and she has to be brought around. In MAWS she’s much more openly enthusiastic about it, but she’s also at a point in her career where she has much more to gain by hitching her wagon to the Superman narrative. Interesting distinction.

Jimmy is compelling! I’m curious what they’re going to do with him- they’ve gone a step beyond “cub reporter” to “cub reporter who’s also a conspiracy buff.” Moreover he’s a conspiracy buff in a setting where that’s a completely appropriate way to engage with the world, which can be a hard needle to thread. It’ll be interesting to see how much of a punching bag they make that element of his character. He’s also got a very good claim to the title of “Superman’s Pal-” they start the series knowing each other before the costume is a twinkle in Clark’s eye. That’s a compelling angle to work, one I like more than him being noticeably younger/less experienced than Clark and Lois.

I actually forgot about the Newsboy legion! Just like in general. Deep cut. They’re cute.

[nerd-goes-blogging]

how did I get here?

('bout how I became a dedicated Tintin fan)

You know, there’s a reason I call Tintin and Snowy my favourite.

I met them when I was 12 years old, in a dusty corner of my school library. An instant connection developed between us and since then we had never been apart. 

On his birthday, 9th January, my thoughts turned nostalgic about the young reporter who brightened and inspired my teenage years. Well, back then I wrote a journal entry dedicated to him and his glorious adventures. While creating this blog, the first content that came to my mind was this journal entry.

So, why not?

Here's to all those amazing memories I’ve made so far with this reporter and many more to come.

Back in middle school days, I remember searching for a book series to follow diligently. There were many of them. Mostly fantasies and fictions and dark romance. Some were menacing and awkward. As a whole, not an ideal read for me, I thought. I didn’t (and still don’t) want my head to be occupied with weird thoughts which yield nothing. But I knew my search would end one day. And it did.. 

One day, rummaging through the junior library at school, I noticed some illustrated books, which resembled the comics’s style but quite refined. With the librarian's permission I opened the locked up cabinet which seemed to have jammed due to rust.

That was my pirate treasure, a bounty which I was lucky enough to stumble upon.

The first book which I read from the series was ‘The Castafiore’s Emerald’. The only adventure completely based in the Marlinspike Hall, gives a cozy kind of feeling. Not only did I appreciate Tintin's wits, but I was also amused by Captain Haddock’s funny curses and alliteration which were insulting enough to trash anyone. I really felt that I was where I belonged. I decided to stick to it and started to gather more information and facts about the young protagonist and his brilliant creator, Hergé . The internet, of course, helped me to a great extent as all 24 volumes of the adventures were available there. Also, that was my first year learning french. When Madame came to know about my new hobby, she encouraged me to carry it further and suggested that I'd get the gist of both, the language and the stories, if I read them in french. So, I did that, and how! By the end of middle school, I had read all 24 volumes, some in french as well.

Since then, I’ve read the whole series many times. I've lost count of the number of times I've ...

cheered when Tintin fought Bobby Smiles in Chicago in the book ‘Tintin in America’, 

gasped at the revelation of Rastapopoulos as an antagonist in ‘The Blue Lotus’ (who continued on to become the prime villain in the series), 

chuckled to see (or hear) Bianca Castafiore’s god forsaken singing and Tintin’s reaction in ‘King Ottokar’s Sceptre’, 

been amused at the introduction of Captain Haddock into the series in ‘The Crab with Golden Claws’, 

got my funny bone tickled as Captain Haddock grouched on Professor Cuthbert Calculus’ “hard of hearing” trouble, 

got thrilled with the hero’s treasure hunt in ‘The Secret of the Unicorn’

got terrified at the vengeance of Inca Rascar Capac and Tintin, Snowy and Captain Haddock’s quest to release the professor from the captivity of the Incas in ‘The Seven Crystal Balls’ & ‘The Prisoners of the Sun’ (this story is hands down my most fav :)

greeted the Emir and his son Abdullah (devil’s incarnation) in ‘Land of Black Gold’, 

followed the friends to the moon and back (literally!) 

visited Borduria and Syldavia, 

cried my heart out (when I first read it, I was so touched) in the joyous reunion of Tintin and Tchang, 

rolled with laughter on seeing the magazine cover of Paris Flash in ‘The Castafiore Emerald’, 

encountered all sorts of people (even aliens! in ‘flight 714’) 

and went to an extent of a military coup for General Alcazar. 

Oh, and not to forget the cliffhanger of the unfinished ‘Tintin and the Alph-art’ (left for fans to complete it with our imagination, I like to believe!)

 

Phew! The list is much longer than this & the memories are limitless!!

You might wonder why I'm so into Tintin's adventures and what makes him different from other comic book heroes? 

More importantly, what made me stay? 

You can find this out and more in my next blog.

Until then, stay nerdy ✨👩‍🎓

The Nerdy Olive :)

[brown-little-robin]

Top five aspects of mp100 that you wish had been further expounded upon/developed?

oooh, excellent question! I actually have very few questions about mp100, at least not ones that I want answered. One of the biggest strengths of the mob psycho 100 story is how much it leaves underexplained, I think. But here goes:

What happens with Shou after World Domination arc! PLEASE, I WANT TO KNOW WHO HE LIVES WITH. I might find this out from the fanbook, but it's in Japanese, I'm still a very beginner, and I haven't gotten to translating Shou's page. But regardless of the fanbook, I wish that we had confirmation of Shou's living situation within mp100 canon!

Mezato outside of the LOL cult! I know we only see her from Mob's perspective and the LOL cult is the thing that connects them, but I wish we'd had a second person's perspective on her at least once—like how we learn about Tsubomi's independent spirit from Dimple and Ritsu. Does she have siblings? What's her life like??

The different types of ghosts and spirits out there. They seem to mostly follow Buddhist and Shinto rules, underlying the central concept of "modern internet-inspired paranormal culture". Is the tunnel spirit a kami? By the end, is Dimple's existence sustained by whatever mysterious forces cause a human soul to linger on Earth (unfulfillment?), or is he now a being who is created by human belief, like the urban legends such as the Dragger? What about Matsuo's pet spirits, were THEY human? could they be healed/redeemed somehow? or are they doomed to the spiral?? It doesn't matter and it's better not explained but I WANT to know. praying hands emoji.

Okay, and I thought about this a lot, but I can't think of anything else I want to be further developed?? I think mp100 was pretty well paced, honestly, and the mysteries are a big draw for me! So I shall now list three things that are huge mysteries that I do NOT want to know more about:

Teru. I think Teru has the perfect amount of development. We know EXACTLY enough about him to guess about the rest. Teru is the shell of a star containing a black hole of information and that's how I like it.

Minori's future. I'm glad we don't know what happens with Minori. Because she parallels Minegishi—they're the two people who do horrible things and get forgiven and released to do their own changing... or not. We know Minegishi got an honest job and seems to be trying his best. Minori? Unknown. (at least in canon proper. again, I haven't read most of the fanbook yet). she could be regressing. I like to imagine that she does regress into being mean because it's the only way she knows how to be, and that she only really ends up changing in her young-adulthood.

Future careers!!! I love that we don't know where any of the main crew ends up in their future. I love that the furthest ahead of the canon wrap-up we see is six months. I don't want to know Mob's career, or Ritsu's or Tome's or Teru's or Shou's. I don't know!! I like that it's open to speculate!!!

[animalinvestigator]

any manga recommendations?

yessss oh my gosh always, gladly. so honored you would ask little ol me about such a thing... i haven't been reading much lately so here's just a little list of things ive picked up in the past few months or things i've liked for a long time..... all of them are on mangadex so just look em up... Im editing this to put them under the cut sorry i didn't do it before ive been on the clock for like 4 hours and im tired Lights cigarette

fool night yasuda kasumi !!! it's currently ongoing and i recently got caught up... if i had to describe it in two words.. "post-chainsawman." it's very similar in a lot of ways, but has very different priorities.. what i really like about it is that it has kind of a tighter focus on the "poverty and capitalism" angle that chainsawman definitely covers but doesn't really devote its full attention to. in a world where the sun no longer shines, plants can't grow, so humans are constantly at a deficit of oxygen... to combat this, government facilities offer a payout to desperate people who can't afford to live if they allow themselves to be "transflorated" -- basically fed on by a magical spiritual plant that will eventually kill them and release oxygen in their stead. one such desperate person undergoes the procedure only to find he has the special ability to communicate with transflorated bodies after theyve passed... and then he becomes a Plants Detective and shenanigans ensue. Super good it made me cry... art is beautiful..... definitely worth a read if youre looking to pick up something ongoing

babel no toshokan by tsubana - stumbled upon this after reading the artist's other work "wakusei closet" on a whim... this shorter story is much preferred and has engraved itself deeply on my heart. a girl with a strange set of beliefs about reality enters a strange relationship with a boy who can read everything that's ever been written just by touching an identical sheath of paper..... seriously so good. give it a go if you want something short and sweet

planet laika & scorched earth of love by mayuri yoshida, this is a short manga and one shot bundled with it that has been one of my favorites for like FOUR YEARS NOW!!! mayuri yoshida's sickly cute animal people + loving intricate lineart combine to create a really unique visual aesthetic. its about the titular laika , as in, the dog launched into space, who has since become the ruler of a planet of dogs, and her plot to take revenge on humanity. also she has a lesbian wife. the one shot is so good too SO DONT MISS IT!!!

anyone who has heard me talk about comics for the past year or so probably knows i've been trying to get Just yknow everybody on earth to read dead dead demon's dedededestruction by inio asano. nothing i could ever possibly say about it could do it justice it's seriously my favorite manga of all time. it's about being in love with your best friend and the end of the world and aliens and politics and the internet and stuff. asano's art is truly breathtaking and unlike anything else on earth, the characters are all infectiously lovable, and it's just like... endlessly life affirming and heals my heart in a way i have a hard time articulating.

and last one... not strictly manga but i have really enjoyed keeping up with wanan's webcomic no home recently... its a long one, but i read about 275 chapters of it in like 3 days, because it's that hard to put down, LOL... extremely inspiring character writing and also just insanely fun, eunyung became an all time favorite character of mine on impact and it has one of those casts where you can't help but have fun watching them be together in literally any situation. it's about a bunch of kids with shitty family situations trying to figure out to learn to live with eachother. its an extremely good example of mundane character drama being written so compellingly that it will make you start slamming your head on walls at work. Speaking from experience.

miscellany... everyone tells you to read witch hat atelier, do it its good... everyone tells you to read dungeon meshi do that its good... Chainsaw man part 2 is getting crazy right now ...... uhhh... i have a billion more so if none of those interest you let me know and i'll share more. thank yew so much for your interest in my opinions and i hope there's something here you can appreciate!!!~~

[yuuuume]

nsfw alphabet

letters; E, I, J, N, R (or renji)

character; rukia kuchiki

requested; yes

thank you anon for requesting !

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Absolutely a virgin but she knows what masturbation is 100%. I am one of the people who think Rukia had feelings for Kaien. Now I’m not saying she was in love but she was young, we all know what those feelings are like. Back to the topic at hand, Rukia only understood masturbation for a long time, partially caused by her juvenile feelings for Kaien. It took her by storm one night and like anyone else, you tend to figure out those things on your own and she did it, perhaps a little guilty she thought of Kaien. It followed her through adulthood and hell, she even did it to Renji because who wouldn’t if we’re being honest here? Her virginity streak breaks when she meets you of course.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Rukia is sweet and loving. She is a woman of soft moans and gasps, her eyes watching your every move with care. Every word she speaks is dripping with sheer love if she can ever manage to get any out. Sex is her time to release herself from the daily stresses and connect with you as a partner so she takes advantage of that fully and gives you her most vulnerable self, soft eyes and all.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

She started like most of us girls did, masturbating with unorthodox items such as the iconic hairbrush handle or toothbrush. Rukia was too scared to use produce so those two along with the obvious fingers were all she ever knew. That was until she got her first rabbit. Upon hearing about it she was like… a rabbit? Chappy? The interest was there but the Captain certainly was not ready for what she saw upon unpacking the rabbit. She didn’t understand how it worked either, again, a learning experience but she figured it out, and let's say she used her vacation days… And PTO.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

She is not into any sniffing or licking of unorthodox places such as armpits and toes. She’s a hardworking woman and doesn’t have time for your bullshit. Leave her alone!

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Rukia doesn’t know much about kinks and the sort until it’s introduced to her, be it you or accidental exposure after she acquires internet access. We all know how that goes and Rukia is stunned, to say the least. Why is that man's face there of all places? Why is he calling his partner derogatory terms? She’s intrigued once the initial shock wears off and will eventually allude to it, shy as she can be.

[claireelizabeth85]

Come Home To Me - Chapter 11

John Egan x OC!Female

Summary: When the idea of a past life turns out isn't just idea or a dream.

AN: This chapter overlaps and builds on the prompt that was published for Sarah and Rosie and this can be found here. 

AN2: Thank you to everyone who has read, shared, and gossiped with me about this story. I have said it before and I'll say it again, the MOTA fandom is truly one of the best I've ever had the pleasure of being part of. If you're new and would like to find all the other chapters, they can be found here. My asks are always open if you have any burning questions about where this is going.

This always is a work of fiction and is based on the TV characters from the Apple TV series. No disrespect is intended towards the real men of the 100th BG.

The late summer sun hung lazily in the sky, warm and comforting like a well-worn blanket. Sarah wandered across the airfield, her boots crunching on the dry grass. Everything around her felt both familiar and strange, like a dream she couldn’t quite shake off. It was September 1943 and she’d arrived too late to witness the aftermath of Regensburg, a mission etched deeply into the hearts of those who had been there. 

After her release from the hospital, Tattie, Helen, and Jean had taken it upon themselves to help her regain her bearings. They introduced her to everyone again, showing her the officers' mess, Harding's office, and even the village pub as if she were the new girl once more. Sarah felt a strange blend of déjà vu and novelty in these moments, a sense that she was reliving a life she wasn’t quite sure was her own.

Sarah settled into everyday life with relative ease. Despite the regimented, monotomy that came with living on a military base, life was a lot slower.  Everything moved at a more deliberate pace, a far cry from the hustle and bustle she was used to. Slipping into the shift patterns at the Clubmobile and  Interrogation Hut after missions as though she had always been there. Learning the names of the men as they collected their morning coffees.  But it was the evenings that Sarah found a little harder to cope with, especially in the quiet evenings devoid of modern distractions like television or the internet.  So she took to writing small journal entries. It gave her a sense of purpose, a way to document her thoughts without giving away too much.

September 1943 - all remaining crews are now home from A. So many were lost, and their presence is deeply missed by all who have returned home. L's friend CB is listed as MIA, and she is taking the death of her friend GP very hard. She won’t talk about it, and I’m worried. Was in the castle when overheard NH saying a few would be commended, GC and L were a few names mentioned.

Today, though, wasn’t about loss. Today was about celebration, a step change from the darkness that so often surrounded them. Jack Kidd had roped Sarah into helping prepare the officer's lounge for the party. The buzz of anticipation was infectious, and Sarah found herself swept up in the preparations, hanging streamers and arranging chairs for the band with a sense of purpose.

The airfield was alive with excitement. Sarah, along with the other girls, Billy and Sammy, two local kids and honorary members of the Mighty Eighth, and off duty crews, gathered in the open field, their eyes scanning the horizon. The sun warmed her face, and for a moment, she allowed herself to bask in its glow. Lilly, Dye's girlfriend, paced nervously nearby, her worry evident in every step.

"Lilly, for the love of all things holy, will you please sit down? You’re making me dizzy!" Tattie called out, exasperation lacing her voice.

"I don’t think I can I feel like I’m going to burst. He should be here by now." Lilly’s voice wavered, betraying the fear she tried so hard to hide.

Lizzy, sitting on the bonnet of a jeep, hands behind her, tilting her head towards the sun. glanced over with a lazy grin. "He’ll be here, Lil. Don’t worry!"

Just then, the distant rumble of a jeep engine caught everyone’s attention. John and Gale rolled up, their arrival causing a small stir among the gathered crowd. John exchanged greetings and offered Lilly a reassuring smile as they parked in front of the tower. Lizzy got down from the jeep and moved to join the rest of the men, her casual confidence a stark contrast to Lilly’s anxiety.

Sarah watched as John brushed past Lizzy, giving her shoulder a playful nudge. It was the kind of nudge that spoke of something between them, something more than just camaraderie. To an outsider, they might have seemed like just friends, sharing the easy familiarity that comes from working side by side. But to those who knew them well, there was an unspoken connection, something deeper that went beyond the surface of their professional friendship.

Despite the playful banter and occasional teasing, Lizzy and John were always careful to keep things professional in front of others, especially when the command was around. But when they thought no one was looking, their true feelings would peek through, like sunlight breaking through the clouds on a dreary day. It was in the way John’s gaze would linger on Lizzy, just a heartbeat longer than necessary, or how Lizzy’s tough-as-nails demeanour softened whenever he was near, her eyes warming in a way that was impossible to miss if you were paying attention.

Of course, everyone had their suspicions. There were knowing smiles and raised eyebrows when John would deliberately spread out at the village pub, taking up enough room for two, only to scoot over the second Lizzy appeared, making sure she had the best seat next to him. It was never more than a whispered rumour, though—everyone liked to speculate, but no one dared to ask outright. Red Bowman, always quick with a quip, often joked, “Those two are the worst-kept secret of the 100th.”

Sarah had seen it firsthand just the other night. After another evening out, filled with laughter and too many drinks, John, ever the gentleman, had insisted on walking Lizzy back to their accommodation hut. They stood there in the doorway, wrapped up in each other’s presence, neither one quite ready to say goodnight. Lizzy was so caught up in the moment, the way John’s hand lingered at the small of her back, that she’d nearly forgotten Sarah was just a few feet away, waiting impatiently outside the door, her nightie fluttering in the chilly air.

“Lizzy, quit playing tonsil hockey and get your backside in here now!” Sarah had finally called out, unable to resist teasing her friend. “I’m not standing out here in my damn nightie and rollers all night, and if I let all the cold air in, you know Tattie’s going to whinge!”

John had chuckled, his laugh warm and rich, as he gave Lizzy one last, lingering kiss before reluctantly heading off to his own accommodation. “Goodnight John” Sarah called out to emphasise her point. Lizzy had turned to Sarah, her cheeks flushed—not just from the cold—and grinned sheepishly as she slipped inside.

As they settled in for the night, Sarah couldn’t help but smile to herself. She’d seen enough of these little moments to know that what Lizzy and John had was something special. It wasn’t just the playful teasing and short lived flirting or the way they seemed to gravitate toward each other in a room full of people. It was the unspoken understanding that passed between them that they were it for one another. They might have been trying to keep it under wraps, but to Sarah—and probably everyone else—it was as clear as day. This was love.

The shout that someone could hear a bomber silenced the crowd, ears straining to catch the sound. Then it came, the deep, unmistakable drone of a B-17 bomber. All eyes turned skyward as the plane came into view, its massive form cutting through the blue sky.

And then, in a move that would be talked about for weeks, Dye buzzed the tower, the roar of the engines drowning out the cheers from below. Sarah could feel the collective joy, the relief, the pure exhilaration as everyone erupted into applause.

Sarah found herself caught up in the moment, clapping and cheering along with the rest. For a brief, shining moment, all the horrors were forgotten. Dye had made it back, his 25th mission complete, and he and his crew were going home.

Lilly’s face lit up with pure joy as she watched the bomber circle for a landing. Lizzy moved to wrap an arm around her shoulders, both of them laughing as Lilly swiped tears of relief from her cheek. Sarah smiled, feeling the warmth of the moment seep into her bones. This was what they fought for—these moments of happiness, fleeting as they might be.

As the bomber touched down and rolled to a stop, the crowd surged forward to greet the returning hero. Sarah hung back, watching as Dye climbed out of the cockpit, greeted by cheers and slaps on the back. She could see the exhaustion in his eyes, but also the pride. They’d done it. They’d survived.

------------------------------------------------

Later that evening, at the 25th mission party hosted in the officer’s mess, Sarah, Helen, and Tattie were all gathered around a table, chatting and laughing as they watched the men of the 100th celebrate one of their own completing the mission milestone. The atmosphere was lively, the kind of party that made you forget. 

The replacement pilots and crews had arrived a few days before, filling in the gaps left by those who hadn’t returned. As the band struck up a tune that got everyone on their feet, the energy in the room surged. The bar was stocked to the gills, and the order of the day was simple: have fun.

Helen and Tattie were busy gossiping, while Sarah, ever the people-watcher, took in the scene around her. Lizzy was perched by the bar with the rest of the pilots, John’s hand absentmindedly resting on her waist as they listened to Glenn Dye recount what he’d be getting up to once he got home. This was the first time that Sarah saw her friend in a social event with her friends and John where they could relax a little.  Lizzy had told her in the village pub decades from now what it was like to be around them, how they went from being strangers, to acquaintances, to friends. 

“Dye, I bet your mum can’t wait to have you home. She’ll be showing you off to all the neighbours the minute you get through the front door!” The lads around the tables laughed and cheered at Lizzy’s comment. Lilly, Dye’s girlfriend was tightly tucked in the crook of his arm, enjoying the party, if a little wide-eyed at it all. There had been the usual whispers about Glenn and Lil, that she’d be making her own trip across the Atlantic soon, but no one could get a straight answer out of either of them. 

Sarah’s people-watching interrupted by Tattie, who leaned forward, lowering her voice just enough to be heard over the music. “So, I need to ask this 'cause it’s been puzzling me for days. Is Dye taking Lilly with him or is he heading back solo?”

Before they could delve deeper into Group gossip, their attention was caught by a young lieutenant introducing himself to Helen. “Lieutenant Herbert Nash,” he said with a confident grin, stretching out his hand and referring to Helen as “Helen of Troy.” The three women exchanged amused glances, their smirks hidden behind their drinks as Helen’s eyes lit up, clearly charmed by the pilot’s boldness. 

Sarah, turning around to see where Nash had appeared from, noticed the three other officers lingering nearby, clearly hoping to see Nash fail. One of the officers caught her eye. The man stood tall, and confident, his dark hair neatly combed and his uniform crisp, fitting him perfectly. Definitely a replacement.  No one has creases that sharp these days. Sarah thought.  There was a natural ease in the way he moved around his friends. He seemed to radiate effortless charm.  

Sarah felt captivated by his warm smile, a genuine expression that reached his eyes and softened his strong features. His laughter was infectious, a rich sound that added to the buoyant atmosphere of the party.  She couldn’t help but be drawn to his easy going demeanour. There was something undeniably attractive about the way he carried himself, a blend of self-assuredness and approachability that made it hard not to notice him. Even from across the room, his presence left Sarah feeling both intrigued and a little flustered.

When their eyes met across the room, Sarah felt a wave of embarrassment at being caught watching him, a flutter in her chest that she hadn’t felt in a long time. She wasn’t sure if it was the dim lighting or the celebratory atmosphere, but there was something magnetic about him. She smiled at him, hoping she didn’t look as flustered as she felt, silently praying that the perfectly pinned hair Tattie had insisted on was still in place.

The man nodded subtly at Nash, a silent question about how his friend was faring. She glanced back at Helen and Nash just in time to see Helen extend her hand, allowing Nash to lead her to the dance floor.  Turning back to the dark-haired officer, Sarah felt a surge of excitement and nervousness. She smiled again, this time more playfully, and nodded toward Nash, as if to say, "Looks like your friend succeeded." The pilot responded with a grin, rolling his eyes in mock exasperation before mimicking a talking motion with his hand, as if to say, “He’s never going to stop talking about this.” Sarah laughed softly, feeling a connection that seemed almost impossible given the briefness of their interaction.

But as quickly as the moment had come, it was gone. Before she could summon the courage to approach him—to cross the room and introduce herself—his friends had already whisked him away to the bar, leaving her with a strange sense of loss. She lingered in the aftermath of their brief exchange, feeling foolish for the small pang of disappointment in her chest.

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Harry Crosby, one of the navigators in the Group and also one of Lizzy’s friends, who approached her with a friendly smile. “Come on, Sarah, you can’t sit here all night,” he said, holding out his hand. "Especially now that Tattie’s off dancing with Douglass. You’re going to leave me to fend for myself?”

Sarah tried to brush off Crosby’s offer, shaking her head. “I don’t know how to dance, Harry,” she said, hoping he would take her decline graciously.

But Crosby wasn’t having it. “Oh, don’t give me that,” he teased. “You know how to shuffle, don’t ya?” Sarah nodded, “Well, that means you can dance.”

Sarah laughed despite herself, his good-natured persistence too much to resist. With a sigh and a smile, she took his hand, allowing him to lead her to the dance floor. As they moved to the rhythm of the music, her thoughts drifted back to the dark-haired pilot. It was just a moment, she told herself. A small, inconsequential exchange in the midst of a bustling party. 

But as the night wore on, she found herself replaying it in her mind, wondering what might have happened if she had been just a little bit braver. Perhaps it was nothing more than a fleeting attraction, the kind that happens when two strangers catch each other's eye in a crowded room. But this was different, it was the kind of moment that sticks with you, even when you tell yourself it doesn’t mean anything. 

Sarah's feet ached, and her head buzzed slightly from one too many gin and tonics as she bid Tattie goodnight. Grabbing her purse from the bar, she waved at the few stragglers left, then turned to leave—only to walk straight into someone. A strong arm shot out, catching her before she could stumble.

“Oh! I’m so sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going,” Sarah quickly apologised, looking up to find herself face-to-face with the pilot from earlier.

“No worries, I wasn’t looking either,” he replied with a warm smile. Her heart raced, a mix of surprise and nerves swirling in her stomach. “I’m sorry I didn’t come over earlier. I didn’t want to interrupt Nash—he’d never let me hear the end of it. Lieutenant Robert Rosenthal, or Rosie, for short.”

He offered his hand, and Sarah shook it, trying to steady herself. “Hi, I’m Sarah Taylors, British Red Cross.”

Rosie’s smile widened. “Well, Sarah, I suppose I’ll see you around. I’ve heard your cups of coffee are legendary. Might have to swing by in the morning to see if that’s true.”

Sarah blushed, caught off guard by his easy charm. “Oh, sure. Just be early—there’s always a queue before the morning briefings, especially on mission days.”

Tags: @ginabaker1666 @winniemaywebber @bobparkhurst @thedeviltohisangel @prettyinlimegreenboots @instructionsnotincluded @victoryrollsandredlips @luminouslywriting

[meimi-haneoka]

Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Chapter 74: Comments + JP-ENG translation differences

Here we are, welcome back everyone!! End of the month, time for another chapter leading us into this exciting finale for Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card!! I want to start this post with a little foreword before diving into the chapter itself and the eventual translation differences ✨ I just wanted to say that I write this post with a sense of pride but also with even more sense of responsability compared to the previous months. You've probably stumbled upon my recent report of the latest CLAMP Space, where the authors have talked about CCS Clear Card, and their support/blessing to "people addressing the translation differences in their monthly posts on their blog, because they felt uncomfortable about them". Although they never straight up gave names, I certainly feel like they were talking about blogs like mine. And so I'm humbled (and even a little nervous) to be able to keep doing this, since I've wondered multiple times if it was even proper for me to write these posts every month, as if I was leading a crusade against the official English translation. In fact, I'm not. And I hope that's clear enough. When the ENG translation respects the vibe and original intention coming out from sensei's words in the manga panels, like this time around, I always make sure to say positive things about it. But try to understand me, the irritation runs deep because these are years of translation differences accumulating and at times even changing the perception of the story. And then, you stumble upon English speaking fans on the internet who got the gist of the story wrong or disrespecting/failing to appreciate it because of such translation mistakes (we go from Sakura calling Syaoran "Li-kun" in one of the earliest volumes, to Kaito saying that he wanted to give magic to Akiho, wtf??). And I think it's such a pity. It's not fair. The fandom deserves to know what the script is trying to say with a meaning as closer as possible to the original one. I hope I'll be able to help in that regard, for what's in my possibility and with my limited skills, till Clear Card will be over. ✨

OKAY, now let's cut the chatter and see what happened in this chapter!! I'm happy to say that this time around, translation-wise, we don't have anything impairing the correct understanding of the plot, just nuances! As usual, before starting, we can't skip the gif of the month!!

The Color Page

Oh my gosh! Sakura! You look amazing here!!! Such a fierce stare!! She looks just like a powerful and respected magician and OMG THEY GAVE HER A BLACK OUTFIT!! JUST LIKE I'VE BEEN ASKING EVER SINCE THE BEGINNING! I don't know, maybe the veteran followers of this blog can remember, but I've always wished to see Sakura in a black costume/dress in Clear Card 😊 She looks stunning...and what's more, she's once again with the gears and clocks decorations, just like in the period of the Clockland play. But, heheh, this time the clock looks different. The big clocks that were featured during the Clockland chapters (with Sakura + Syaoran, Akiho and lastly Kaito) were often "strange". They all had the same design, the one with SyaoSaku was "regular", but the ones next to Akiho and Kaito had their numbers either in messed up order, or straight up wrong (what kind of clock got '0' as the only number?). I had already assumed by then that they had a significance we had to decode along the development of the finale. This one in this color page, however, really looks like the most classical clock with roman numerals. The order of the numbers and their position seems correct. So could this be a sign that Sakura is about to restore order into this mess that Kaito's desperate wish created? The text on the JP version is the classic incantation to release the Dream staff from the key (we haven't heard it in a looooong time because she manifests her staff immediately, by now!) I also want to point out that we *still* don't have any announcement of "Clear Card ending in next chapter" or "Clear Card ends in 2 chapters!" like it's custom in these serializations, so I can say with confidence that Sakura won't surely be over in chapter 75 (at the beginning of July) but probably not even in chapter 76 (at the beginning of August). Are they aiming at chapter 77 (beginning of September)? Double 7, it's a lucky number for CLAMP ✨ For those worried about "3 chapters aren't enough to finish this!!", please consider that it's not so much about the number of chapters, but the amount of pages. This chapter for example is already longer than usual, 35 pages. That's what really matters, and we could get even an epilogue or some additional pages in the volume version! And now onto to the actual chapter!

An Important Discussion

Yukito, Nakuru and Touya are leisurely spending time at Yukito's home, with a funny scene of Yukito feeding some mikan to Nakuru (and she seems delighted by the cozyness of Japanese kotatsu!). Suddenly, Touya announces that Sakura is coming over. Yukito worries about how it's getting dark and that maybe it'd be better to go pick her up along the way, but a grumpy Touya says there's no need for that: along with Sakura are also coming Syaoran, Akiho and even Tomoyo. Yukito and Nakuru can't help but being surprised, and Nakuru wonders "The all-stars are coming? What's going on?" 😂 I found so hilarious the use of the term "all-stars", which in Japanese usually indicates a whole cast of a performance composed of famous actors, and sometimes it's applied to sports team too. But the room temperature drops immediately when Yukito looks at Touya, with a very pensive face, and it's immediately clear that something serious happened and Sakura is coming to discuss that. Touya might not know exactly what, but as we can see, he's already got a feeling.

Sakura and the kids arrive, apologizing for coming so suddenly, and they sit down, all with very serious faces (save for Tomoyo. Tomoyo never loses her calm composure 😆). Sakura starts dropping the bomb immediately: "I want to talk to you about something very weird" and "I want everyone who knows about the Cards and magic to hear this". Sakura is dead serious, and she informs Syaoran (sitting at her left side) that she's just told everything to Akiho shortly ago. She also tells Kero and Suppy to come out of her purse, for the second time (since the first was halted by the rewriting of the forbidden magic) putting an end to the farce of Kero constantly needing to act like a plushie in front of Touya!! Remember when the fandom used to point out that it was weird that Kero kept hiding from Touya, despite saying himself at the end of the Sakura Card Arc (after Touya gave his powers to Yue/Yukito) that he was perfectly aware that Touya knew everything about them? That really felt like a "plot hole" (maybe at this point the only REAL plot hole) for the longest time, and I am honest when I say that I had already given up hoping to see an explanation for it, wanting to treat it like a "glitch" in the narrative and using suspension of disbelief to overcome it! Well well well, CLAMP surprised me again! Cause in this chapter they actually tried to give an explanation to that "discrepancy"! And of course, being this about Kero, the explanation is rather silly (confession - I didn't understand Kero's reasoning very well, but I'll give my interpretation of what he said): Kero saw that even after that event, Touya didn't try to interact with him and thought that maybe he didn't consider him a cute and gorgeous magical creature, but rather something else....(was he butt-hurt?) Suppy of course is spitting fire cause why the heck did we need to keep pretending to be plushies?? and Kero's reply is "Because I thought it'd be fun pretending to be plushies together when you came over!". Now, if you remember how difficult and taxing it was for Suppy to force himself to stay still, you can understand why he's so mad! 😂 Touya says, quite annoyed, that he simply didn't try to interact with him because he thought that Kero was getting a kick out of acting like a plushie! I feel like sensei have quite reached and almost broke the 4th wall with this scene, because Sakura here says something that I'm pretty sure many of us have thought in regard to this "discrepancy": "I did wonder at some point why you kept that up despite I was telling you multiple times that I had the feeling my brother was onto you". And it's true, we've seen that in volume 4! Well, to me it felt like a stretch, but eventually we got an explanation for that situation so I guess it's better to leave it behind us! 😂

Cause we have more important matters at hand. Sakura places her phone on the table, showing Eriol & Kaho in videocall!! NOW all the "stars" of this show are present! 😂 So Sakura starts her recount of the most recent events, saying "It's really weird...but I swear it happened". After everyone listened to Sakura, of course they're all surprised. Nakuru wonders if there's any magician who can really have the power to "rewrite" a world...Eriol says that as far as he's heard, there isn't any magician among the living ones who has that degree of power. However, if said magician had access to a "medium" able to use the "forbidden magic", then it's another story. And that's the Book Sakura told them about. Sakura confirms that the one who told her all of this is the Guardian of the book herself. And then, to Akiho: "The plushie shaped like a bunny that you cherished so much was the temporary form of that Guardian. You named her 'Momo' ". Here I have to point out that the way the ENG translated it infers that Akiho remembers about Momo ("You know that stuffed bunny you loved so much?"), but actually in the JP version it's mostly Sakura informing Akiho that she used to cherish a bunny-shaped plushie, cause Akiho has no recollection of it. In fact, right after, she answers "But that's the title of a book I really love so much!". THERE IT IS! I've mentioned this many times in my social media accounts, and even lately in my "literary references" post here on Tumblr, but it turns out this simple answer by Akiho kinda confirms that she might really have named Momo after that book. And it's not only a beloved book because of its story, but also the one she was reading when she met Kaito for the first time. I've always thought that having her most beloved plushie named that way, and having precisely that book when they met for the first time couldn't have been unrelated. So I'm really happy for this scene here and I hope it'll get eventually confirmed better later.

Sakura takes Akiho's hands (she'll do that a lot this chapter and I simply love it) and reassures her about something that I was SURE she was going to say:

JP: "The fact that we became twins is an effect of the rewritten (world), but the fact that you are an important person to me didn't change at all, Akiho-chan"

I've preferred putting the JP version here because once again we have the usual stuff that I complain about lately: Sakura in JP used 大切なひと (important person) to describe her relationship with Akiho, and this is absolutely coherent with all the previous times. In ENG they used "you're special to me", but the adjective "special" in Japanese (特別な) in relation to a person has been consistently used in the latest chapters to describe the person Sakura is in love with (and not only Sakura). So they shouldn't have used that adjective in particular. They should stick to the literal translation. Especially cause that "special person" will come up in a few pages. I know I sound pedantic with this separation between "important person" and "special person", but I mean, CLAMP sensei are consistently keeping that distinction so I'm convinced the translation should do its best to keep it, because it's a guide to lead the readers among the relationships of CCS. Which sometimes can be quite complex.

Touya teases Sakura again with the sis-con joke, and Yukito teases him back by saying "Are you talking about yourself now?" (I love how Yukito always teases the big and grumpy Touya 😂they're really made for eachother). Tomoyo comments that it's been "a sight for sore eyes" (the term used in JP is 眼福, ganpu, and it's used when you see something precious) to see Sakura in the role of the big sister and Akiho in the one of the little sister. Akiho is moved by the fact that, despite everyone knowing the truth now, nobody shunned her or rejected her presence, and exactly like I imagined, I'm 100% sure Sakura will keep thinking about her as a sister (not a blood-related sister maybe, but surely with the same importance of one) even after everything will be solved later. Cause the bond between her and Akiho was never a fabricated thing, but always been genuine from day 1. Even if they got close in such a short period of time, it's just what happens normally in real life too. Sometimes you bond very tightly with people over a short period of time, cause you feel you're so compatible.

So Sakura continues. She says that for this reason, she wants to bring (someone) back. She's convinced that what the Record Card showed to her is not everything. She feels like there is someone who is missing from both what the Record Card had shown to her and from this rewritten world as well. Syaoran is confused, "they're missing, and yet you're sure they're there?". Sakura understands that confusion and says "It's weird, right? I can't really explain how I know it, but I just do." And then, towards Akiho: "That person....is your special person, Akiho-chan". There it is, the infamous "special person" again. It's clear what Sakura is meaning here. "This is the person you're in love with, Akiho-chan". Of course Akiho's face cannot be any other than a dismayed one at hearing that. And then the pain comes, all at once, piercing her heart and leaving her speechless. Sakura says that the Record Card wasn't showing anyone with Akiho in one of the scenes, and yet she saw her extremely happy. That was enough for Sakura to know that someone was indeed there with Akiho.

I'm Always Searching For Someone

We're shown one of the most important scenes for anyone liking Akiho and Kaito (and their bond), the night that Akiho was so brave to confess her feelings to him through a covert (and very local) way, claiming that "the moon is really beautiful". And in the same occasion he accepted to spend some time strolling and talking to her. It was clear from the moment that scene happened that it would've become important later. And the readers who know what happened and what we lost are feeling probably the same pain Akiho is feeling right now, only that she's unaware of what is causing it. Akiho says "I'm really happy to live with you, Sakura, and everyone in the Kinomoto household, but...I've been in pain. Because I'm always looking for someone who's not there...". So Akiho did feel the effects of that void. The void that only your most important person can leave when they're gone. It's just that, we've seen her being so happy with her "new" family, and yet exactly like most of the fandom imagined, that didn't really work to fill the void Kaito left. It's impossible to fill that void because that person is just irreplaceable. This scene of course stabbed my heart but I had imagined that we would've seen it sooner or later. Sakura gets more confident with the confession of what Akiho's been feeling, and tells her that she thinks the one she didn't want to lose and the one who rewrote their world are the same person. "So I'm going to bring them back". Sakura announces with a smile, but Kero just wonders in dismay how she's going to do that. Sakura believes that the pocket watch in Akiho's possession will show her how. As if on cue, Akiho takes it out of her purse and places it on the table in front of Sakura's phone, where Eriol and Kaho can see it. They recognize it's a magical artifact specialized in time magic, but they also recognize that in order for a magician to be able to use it, they would need to have a tremendous amount of magical powers. Akiho suddenly panics. It dawns on her. I think the mental connection she's made is "if Sakura wants to use this to bring my special person back, she would need to achieve an amount of magical powers that could put her in harm's way". Aside, of course, from all the other dangers that a "mission" like that could pose to our heroine. And of course she'd never be okay with that. But Sakura reassures her. "You aren't making me. I want to." Sakura explains that both when she was dealing with the Clow Cards (and we see a scene of the Final Judgement, the one where Kaho gives her the Moon Bell) and when she was transforming them into her own Cards (they show us a scene from the last battle with Eriol), she was able to overcome her troubles thanks to all of the people who loved her and cared about her.

Sakura, JP: "Therefore I want to do what I can for my important person, too"

Again the use of 大切なひと (important person) in relation to Akiho. I think this panel in particular is pretty important (and the big font indeed suggests so). I feel like it's the core, the heart of Clear Card Arc. Sakura, whom until now was accustomed to be cherished and pampered in a protected environment by her loved ones, is starting to take the first steps towards self-assertiveness and maturity. Sometimes those loved ones would overdo it with the loving, and ended up depriving her of her own agency. Sakura is finding herself, she's starting to trust her instincts and capabilities more and more, and that leads inevitably to a question: "what do I want to do with these gifts life gave me and blessed me with? What can I do to give back to the Universe all this love I'm receiving?" Searching for her self-identity will inevitably make her step out of her comfort zone. She'll take risks. Even on herself. She'll need to assess situations, make decisions. And here she decided that she wants to use her natural gift (her magical powers) to help someone in need. Someone important to her. Someone dear who lost someone irreplaceable and lacks the means to bring him back. Sakura decides to step in, help her "sister", doing exactly what she herself told her during last chapter: if I happen to be good at something that you can't do, I'll help you out. That's the beauty of being all unique and different.

I've seen people often wondering what's the purpose of Clear Card Arc, if we really needed to this arc and such. Well, to me the answer was made manifest in this chapter. 🙂

But back to our story, Tomoyo understands that moment has finally come, so she says that maybe she can't use magic, but she felt it was best to bring along with her a certain big bag (that we all know what contains, right??). She also says that she had the feeling she had made an asymmetrical costume before, but when she went to check, she realized she hadn't made it yet...

Listen to me well, because this is the solution to the mystery of the cryptical thing Ohkawa sensei said in relation to one of Sakura's costumes, during the latest CLAMP Space! Basically, she hinted that there was a reason why we hadn't seen Sakura wearing officially (for a Card battle) this costume yet, and that we would find out why soon. I know the ENG translation here talks about "complementary outfits" (referring probably to how Tomoyo will later reveal complementary outfits for both Sakura and Syaoran), but that only shows that they misunderstood the word アシンメトリー (lit. Asymmetry). Tomoyo here was literally talking about asymmetry because the "costume she thought she had made, but didn't find in the end" was precisely the one Ohkawa was hinting at during the latest Space, the one Sakura was trying on in chapter 36 and 37! Tomoyo had a sense of deja vu, about having made an asymmetrical outfit before, but actually couldn't find it because...well, the forbidden magic had removed any reference to the Clear Cards! (including, apparently, the costumes!) So that goes to show that Tomoyo, despite not having a crumble of magic, was also subjected to the deja vu and weird feelings of "discrepancy" that such rewriting of the world would cause. But hold on tight, cause another reference is on the way!

Tomoyo continues saying that while she was sewing the sleeve of the outfit, she had the strong feeling that this costume would turn into a very special one. And what do we have here? OH YES, it's THAT sleeve, the one we've been waiting for so eagerly! The one that Sakura saw in a dream with MCF once! Sakura back then asked to MCF if they would meet outside the dream when she'd be wearing that outfit, and MCF only cryptically said that it would be "the beginning of the end". Considering now we know that MCF has been mostly a byproduct of Lilie trying to communicate with Sakura and inadvertently messing things up, I do wonder about that MCF. Was Sakura, by any chance, actually was supposed to see Kaito and she saw the robe instead, because of Lilie? Or is that an actual member of Akiho's clan? Only this finale can tell us the truth. Sakura will certainly meet someone, with that costume.

Sakura thanks Tomoyo, always so ready to show her support, and she does something very sweet, as a result of regaining all of her rewritten memories: she tells Tomoyo that she'll do her best to come back without getting the costume dirty, but if it eventually starts fraying, she knows that Tomoyo will be there to repair it.....yeah....doesn't it remind you of something?? Of course I bet any Tomoyo fan knows very well what scene Sakura is referencing with this line....

When Sakura told Tomoyo she repaired her torn costume with the Repair Card in chapter 40, Tomoyo expressed the wish to be her the one repairing those costumes, with her own hands. Because she had created them specifically for Sakura, so she would also want to be the one to repair them in case they'd get damaged. Basically telling her "I made these with all my love for you, and I'd prefer that a Card didn't take my place even when needing to repair them. I want the costumes that you wear to be made completely by my own hands". Always reminding us that making something with your own hands for your loved one is the greatest proof of love for any character in CCS (which is something I find truly wholesome and beautiful). Sakura here shows to have understood and accepted that wish fully, therefore acknowledging Tomoyo and her feelings. Tomoyo is uncharacteristically surprised for a second, and then with the happiest smile she confirms that of course she'll be there to repair it!

Sakura looks at her brother Touya, who only grumpily tells her to respect the curfew. Sakura is confused because they never had a curfew time at home, but her brother replies "Come back before dad gets worried. That's our curfew". (in ENG there's an additional part here, I guess to fill in a bubble that would be left empty) Sakura confidently replies "Got it".

Nakuru is all giddy, excitedly announcing that they decided to go to war and they need to decide the formation!! Suppy mocks her, telling her she's talking as if she were playing one of her warring states games (in JP the term used here is 戦国ゲーム - sengoku game - and I've found there's a specific game called indeed Sengoku, but it seems the same term extended to indicate all the war games set in the Sengoku era), but that doesn't deter Nakuru, who says that if she gets chosen, she will certainly participate actively (here the ENG uses game language from what I can see - not an expert - but good job!)!!

Sakura's plan is different, though. She says that tonight she'll be going only with Syaoran. She knows that if everyone could go with her, she'd feel more confident and reassured, but...

Sakura, JP: "If I want to find Akiho-chan's most important person, I have the feeling that it'd be better for me to go with my most important person"

Here we go. We temporarily leave aside the "special person" terminology to go back to the more famous and loved "my most important person" term, to indicate THE ONE person someone loves the most. 一番大切なひと (ichiban taisetsuna hito). The term we all learned because it's been so crucial to indicate the person someone was in love with during the old arcs of the story. The term Sakura eventually used for Syaoran at the end of CCS volume 12 to finally give a "definition" to the love she felt for him. Now she uses it to define Akiho's feelings for Kaito. This is "the" term that takes precedence over all the other terminology used, and also goes to show how important and solemn the moment is. Sakura's intuition tells her that in order to find Kaito, Akiho's most important person, she should go with Syaoran, her own most important person. This is probably because her magical intuition (let's remember that Sakura got the power to see the future) grasped that her bond with Syaoran will be absolutely pivotal in order to have a positive outcome for the mission they're about to embark on. They will probably have to put that bond at work....maybe to explain, show, help someone understanding something that he still doesn't seem to grasp perfectly? Or rather, a stubborn refusal to understand it, which caused them all to be in this situation they're in right now? What's for sure is that if Sakura and Syaoran manage to find Kaito, and if they'll also manage to free him from the Seal of D. + the artifact with all the magical books that Akiho had engraved in herself, their job won't certainly be over like that. Kaito needs to talk to someone. He needs to understand many, many things. Some of those things, Sakura and Syaoran can at least try to introduce them to him. Because while it's true that Sakura wants to bring him back for Akiho, she also needs to make sure that coming back is also Kaito's wish. Because they can't force him if he isn't 100% convinced himself. I'm sure this is a very important thematic for CLAMP, respecting someone's self-determination. And since his state of mind, last time we saw him, was that he was perfectly expendable and that he was absolutely not necessary in Akiho's life, they need to change that perception. And there's also the fact that, despite being so different, Kaito and Syaoran are pretty similar in several aspects too. So maybe the role Syaoran can have in "communicating" with Kaito could be very important and impactful. Maybe that's what Sakura's intuition was trying to tell her.

Here, the ENG translation decided to translate that "most important person" with "favorite person". I have definitely turned up my nose at seeing that (why not leaving the iconic term?) but in the end I decided to relax because, at the end of the day, the result is similar. It indicates a person for whom your preference and importance is above everyone else. What really *mattered* in this scene - and lo and behold, it seems ONLY the English and Portuguese versions got it right (let me know about the Chinese one, cause I can't read that one) - is that Sakura used the same term to describe what Akiho feels for Kaito, and what SHE feels for Syaoran. "I am aware that this missing person is for Akiho an existence of the same importance Syaoran-kun has for me. Therefore, I will do everything in my power to bring them back, because I fully understand that kind of bond and I understand the void they leave in your life when they're not there" She knows, to some degree, what it feels like to miss your most beloved person, due to the period she had to spend apart from Syaoran. And they could still have phone calls and writing letters. Akiho's situation can only be worse. Sakura's understanding of that bond is also what causes her intuition to suggest her to go only with Syaoran. It's all connected. So it's of utmost importance that the translations use the same term when both talking about Akiho and Sakura. Then, about this scene, we could also say that it was a beautiful demonstration of how much Sakura (but also Syaoran) has grown up, now fully confident to declare in front of everyone that Syaoran is THE most important person in her life. Without blushing and without any drama. It's just a fact. After all they've been through, I think Sakura can feel confident enough in her relatinship with Syaoran, and there's no shame nor embarrassment in stating that aloud.

The people present here can only accept and show their support, and Eriol encourages Sakura to follow her intuition (remember the whole discussion about listening to the stirring of your heart, the so-called intuition? Yeah, a great lesson from Mama Yelan which will also be applied to another character soon). Sakura tells Kero that if she needs him, she will certainly call, and the guardian beast reassures her that he'll certainly hear his master's voice, same for Yue.

Then, lastly, Sakura takes Akiho's hands and holds them tightly. They share another sweet forehead touch (seriously, I love them so much ❤️). Akiho is worried, so worried, but also very resolute. She wants this as much as Sakura does. Sakura tells her that there'll surely be a moment when she'll request Akiho to do something only she can do, and asks her to please wait here with everyone till that time comes.

I'll admit it, I was really disappointed when I've read this scene the first time around. Not only because I had imagined all kinds of scenes in my head (included Akiho wearing one of Tomoyo's costumes) and they shattered that possibility (but oh well, I am prepared to that), but also because I feel like this isn't a good choice from a character development POV. I understand it, I really understand it, this is Sakura's story. She's the one who gets to shine in the finale. And we've talked about it before, there's no doubt that Sakura in this story goes through a journey to find her identity and what she wants to do. So now it's time to let her do that. But Akiho has been slandered for the whole manga, accused of all kind of things because of prejudice, and one of those was "she's weak and passive, she does nothing". Seeing her "on the sidelines" once again, when we're talking about rescuing her most important person, feels extremely off. Letting someone else do "the job for her" doesn't even feel like Akiho.

Then, as hours passed by, I thought...

Maybe Sakura wants to take care of the first part of the mission, because it'll certainly be the one where it's most likely to encounter some magical danger (dragon-chan???). And Akiho wouldn't be able to defend herself from that, devoid of magical powers as she is. She could potentially end up risking her own life. And then all of this would've been for nothing. And then I thought, wait, maybe Akiho knows that. She knows it very well, since she's a girl with a pretty good understanding of herself and her own limits. And this is certainly a limit she does have. So what she can do is to wait safely at home, as hard and painful as it can be, for the REAL, big moment when her presence will be absolutely necessary. Sakura said it with great confidence so it's 100% sure it will come. Therefore, as an Akiho fan, I will swallow this pill and wait together with her. 🫤

But the chapter isn't over yet, as Touya and Yukito go outside in the garden while Sakura and Syaoran get dressed for their departure! Yukito teases once again Touya, telling him that his face is scary and that Sakura's earlier statement ("most important person") must have caused him "damage" (still seemingly talking in game language). Touya of course doesn't reply, so Yukito continues, giving finally confirmation to the suspicion I've been having ever since this "rewritten world" started: Touya did notice something was off. He didn't know precisely what, but he knew it had something to do with Sakura. Yukito also gives us the opportunity to see just how kind and generous Touya is: he purposely didn't go back home often because he wanted to reduce his presence around Akiho as much as possible. Not because of negative feelings, quite the contrary: he was worried she'd get even more hurt if she established a bond with him, only to end up finding out that they weren't really brother and sister. (Meanwhile, we see a very cute panel of Akiho talking to Kero, Suppy and still in videocall with Eriol and Kaho!) And then, to follow the leit-motiv of this chapter, very centered on calling back stuff that had already happened in the original world, Touya says that he won't allow anyone to hurt his close ones (they used "family" in ENG, but the word 身内 can indicate also friends and such, the common characteristic is that they're very close). Got the feeling you've already heard these words, especially with the use of the word 身内 ? Yes, of course, it's vaguely the same threat he made to Kaito back in chapter 54, during the double date! 😂 Hmmmm, I have the feeling that if they manage to bring Kaito back (of course they will!), someone will want to have a word or two with him....let's hope he'll just stick to words! 😂 Jokes aside, it's very heartwarming to see how even Touya warmed up to Akiho, and took her under his protective big brother's wing! In fact, Yukito can't just miss the new opportunity to tease him (stop flirting so shamelessly in front of us, Yuki! 😂), telling him he's so overprotective for his sisters!!

The two lovebirds have finished changing their clothes, and we're all left staring at them agape, together with Nakuru: they look stunning, in their complementary outfits!! Sakura even got heels ❤️ And yes, dear readers, as already hinted when Tomoyo was speaking, this is IT, THE costume with THAT sleeve that appeared in Sakura's dream! It is the biggest indication that it's finally time for the last confrontation. Both Sakura and Syaoran look so resolute and ready to make a mess of space and time to bring Kaito back!! 😂 As many have noticed, Sakura got her Dream Staff with her, despite the Clear Cards have disappeared: my theory is that the Key was never removed by the forbidden magic, only the Cards, or maybe that the key came out now that Sakura got her memories back.

And this is where the chapter ends, with another huge cliffhanger!! Will we see Kaito, next time? Being a chapter number ending in -5, and being in the very last volume, I expect big things from it! Chapter 75 will be published on CLAMP's Youtube channel on July 1st, while the relative Nakayoshi magazine will be released on July 3rd (by the way, we'll have Sakura ONCE AGAIN on the cover and ANOTHER Sakura furoku!!). As usual, when I have less translation mistakes to talk about and more space for my feelings towards the chapter, I go overboard! Another freaking long post 😂😂 So I'll just leave you here, as usual I'll wait for your asks in my inbox! Bye Bye!!

[adarkrainbow]

So... I was checking some free stuff given away and among a bunch of old VHS there was this tape:

I did not take it, because A) I do not have a working VHS player at home and B) The movie is actually fully disponible on the Internet for free. But it got me intrigued and so I decided to talk briefly about this Donkey Skin movie - which is obviously not the great 1970 classic by Jacques Demy, but rather a 1997 French animated movie...

The VHS above was for the movie's "solo" release, but it got a different release under the label "Mes plus beaux contes", a whole series of fairytale VHS apparently:

Let's begin with a bit of context...

This movie was apparently the result of a collaboration between Claude Allix and Vladimir Gontcharov. The scenario was written by Sébastien Viaud, the music composed by Gil Slavin, and the producers included Eric Bayle, Roch Lener and Victor Slepstove. The production companies involved included Polygram Video, Mathares and Borsifen.

And... that's it. That's all I could find. Nothing more, nothing less.

Well, except for one detail: while this movie is presented as... well as a movie, some websites list it as a two-episodes mini-series, each episode being 26 minutes long. I watched it for free on Youtube, where it is presented as a 50 minutes long movie.

Let me start by saying: Gosh this movie looks horrible!

As in... the animation is very rough. But especially the designs... By the devil, the designs are awful! Just look at the Lilac Fairy - they tried to shape her hair like a lilac flower, okay... But it doesn't work AT ALL. The worst offenders however are the dresses. The three magical dresses, meant to be the pinnacle of beauty in the tale... LOOK AT HOW GOSH AWFUL AND IDIOTIC they are! We said "Color of the moon", not "Shaped like the moon". We said "Color of the sun", not "with spikes coming out everywhere to imitate sun-rays". And the villainess' collar just keeps getting bigger and bigger until it becomes so ridiculous... Oh yes, and the guards ALL HAVE THE SAME FACE. They literaly reused the same model for all the knights and guards throughout the movie...

I know that after Jacques Demy's Peau d'âne, every adaptation of Donkeyskin in France will have a hard time challenging the classic... But I don't know if these people didn't put enough effort, or actually tried way too hard.

Now, in term of story, the interesting thing is that they decided to expand upon the original tale. Most notably, they introduce a new villain character, with a concept a tad similar to the one of queen Elspeth from The Fairest of them All.

The entire first segment of the movie is about the "background" of the tale. We begin with the wedding of the king of the realm of Azurie to his wife (Peau d'âne's mother - the princess is named here Ariadne, because "Arianne" rhyme with "âne" in French). We also have a brief introductory song which recaps the entire story... There's quie a missed opportunity because a whole segment of the song is asking "Why are you hiding, Donkey-skin? Why are you disguising yourself Donkey-skin? Who are you, Donkey-skin?" which could have been a strong idea of plot-angle, exploring the identity of Donkeyskin as a mystery to be solved... Except the verses right before this part of the song explicitely detail who she is and why she fled.

As the wedding unfolds, we have a very clever scene introducing the magical donkey - a present sent by mysterious friends of the king, and which stands out like a sore thumb among the treasures and jewels the fher frelieves it is a grave insult - before his queent believes it is a grave insult - before his queen calms him down and convinces him to trust their friend (for good reason, since they later discover the donkey's magical properties). The villain added to the story is the king's cousin, a power-hungry duchess named Malicia, and who is quite pissed off at seeing the new queen - because she herself wanted to and attempt to be the new queen of Azurie. As she leaves the castle, a mysterious sorcerer named Balthazar the Necromancer appears and briefly turns her carriage into stone to prove his powers. He says he came here to answer Malicia's wishes and desires - and he offers her to learn witchcraft, so that she can overtake Azurie... And in exchange, the price to pay will be that she abandons all her belongings and exile herself from Azurie to undergo a long journey fo fifteen years.

What will she do during this journey? We don't know! It is a mysterious "initiation journey" But she returns fifteen years later to the kingdom to enact her devious plan. As for Balthazar the Necromancer... Every time Malicia uses her crystal ball to cast a spell, Balthazar's face appears to give her various compliments or warnings. And that's it... a sort of manifestation of the recurring habit of having the Magic Mirror of Snow-White act as a semi-companion/warning-deliverer to the Evil Queen. I compared Malicia to Elspeth but I could also compare her relationship to Balthazar to the evil queen's relationship to her mirror in the "Mirror, mirror" movie. In fact, Malicia seems very obviously inspired by Disney's Evil Queen... It makes you wonder why Balthazar was introduced as his own character before being reduced to an info-dropping disembodied face... Anyway.

Malicia is presented as the supernatural cause of the events that start the story - which is a quite interesting and solid move when you need to tackle Donkey-skin for children. The death of the queen is due to Malicia's hatred of the happiness and wealth of the royal family, and her ambition. She casts a curse that causes the deadly sickness, and then tries to convince the king to marry her. But when the king refuses by blatantly saying he promised his wife to marry a woman more virtuous and more beautiful than her, and that Malicia is not more virtuous nor more beautiful than the late queen... Let's just say Malicia is quite pissed off, and she decides to have him be dethroned by causing a second curse - the one that will create an incestuous desire of the father for the daughter. Balthazar warns her that such a curse will break if the princess ever ends up knowing true love - to which Malicia replies she will just have to make sure the princess will be forced to marry her father and never escape him...

I have to say, while the animation is garbage, the ideas and concept of the story are very interesting. The scene of Malicia casting the curse onto the queen is truly chilling, as you see the blue mist she conjures up slowly wither the flowers of the garden before crawling up to the queen's bedroom and entering her body... And I like how Malicia's incantations use elemental motifs matching her curses: she invokes the "spirits of the air" to cause a "deadly breath", a cursed wind that will "dry up" the queen ; while to "inflame" the king's passion for his daughter she calls upon the "spirits of fire" to cause an incestuous desire that nothing "shall extinguish". There is also a whole warning in the beginning about black magic needing the user to have an absolute control over their emotions - foreshadowing Malicia's downfall. At the end of the movie, when Donkey-skin/Ariadne is happily married and her true love break the curses, Malicia is so enraged she tries to cast a curse on her, despite Balthazar's warnings that she need to stay calm, and that she cannot fight true love which is the most powerful magic of them all... However she does not listen and the curse backfires on her, making her disappear forever... Again, this is all very Snow White's Evil Queen-inspired.

I'm not going to make a full breakdown of the movie - the rest of the story is pretty much the same as the original tale but with the characters slightly exaggerated and more prominent (such as the peasant woman and her son who use - and frankly abuse - Donkey skin when she stays around ; there's also the comical character of the prince's personal assistant who is always finding an occassion to "taste wine" whenever he has something to do). There's a lot of visual nods to classic illustrations - for example the goat-pulled chariot the princess use to visit her godmother, while seeming straight out of Norse mythology, is actually a reference to the illustrations of Gustave Doré where the princess use a similar chariot ; and the king's chambellan is made to look like Riquet with the tuft.

So yeah... In conclusion I would say it has good intentions, some good ideas and some moments that do work - but it stays a very rough, very dated product that needs one to take some effort to get into it... and is definitively NOT a masterpiece. But a valuable effort, it must be recognized.

[masiethewriter]

Honored Eternal Path of Demise CH. 6 - Companion Quest: Part 2

"Ye-yes, we found the corpse of-"

"And you are just running around? You find a dead body, someone attacks you and you think that is the best time to wander around?" Shen Qingqiu keeps interrupting. While Ning Yingying is still wet from being outside and likely was already crying when he stumbled upon her, he still thinks he can see more tears fall from her eyes. Her body has begun to tremble and like this, she seems much smaller. Like she is just a frightened child caught in a horrible situation. 

Shen Qingqiu clears his throat in the hope that it will release the pressure in his chest.

First Chapter ~~ Previous Chapter

Immediately opening his eyes, Shen Qingqiu sits up. A hand clasps at his neck, nails digging into skin. The other grasps around the bed until he can snatch a pillow. He presses it to his face. 

In his first life he would go to internet forums and write out (constructive!) criticism when he needed release for some of his stronger emotions. Turns out screaming continuously for a minute also helps.

After that nice moment of embarrassment, he puts the pillow down and gets up. He is out of the room and on his way down the hallway in the very next moment. 

Two sessions done, a third started, infinite more to go. He can do this!

The main entrance is as impressive as always as he steps through, but for some reason he can't find it in himself to appreciate it as much anymore. As he looks down, he can’t help the way his eyes are drawn to one spot. Luo Binghe and Ning Yingying stand exactly where he expects them to. 

"Senior! You are here too?"

"Ning Yingying, you know who this is?"

"Of course! That is Shen Qingqiu. One of the seniors that helped us when we first started. Don't you remember A-Luo?"

As he steps down the stairs, he finds his hold on the railing is no longer just trailing, but a proper grip. He can't find it in himself to loosen his hold. The relief he feels as he reaches the bottom is also uncharacteristic of him. He reminds himself it is just a set of stairs.

"Senior Shen, it is so good to see you! Do you have any idea where we are? A-Luo and I woke up with no memory of how we got here. I am so lucky we found each other, I have no idea what I would do if I was all alone by myself! Have you seen anyone else, I was certain it was just me and A-Luo here, but with you it might mean that others-"

Belatedly, Shen Qingqiu realizes he needs to make her stop talking. 

"I just got here after waking up myself," he starts, but then hesitates. His voice is not as cold and arrogant as it is meant to be. He clears his throat and tries again. "I don't know anything either."

Whatever, good enough. 

He manages to get through the rest of the conversation. Ning Yingying acts exactly as he expects, but he can't help but feel Luo Binghes gaze is heavier than usual. Probably just paranoia after a particular distressing session.

"Will Senior be okay? I don't like the thought of you walking all by yourself."

"You should worry more about yourself than others. You stick with your friend and he should take care of you. This one is perfectly capable of taking care of himself."

"Be careful Senior Shen! Please don't run off all by yourself!"

They leave and Shen Qingqiu is finally alone. He lets out a heavy breath. Time to move on. 

He gets the spiritbox and returns upstairs. He feels confident in his exploration of the first five rooms, so no need to check them again. It will be nice with some alternative environments. Starting from the laboratory is not a bad place to continue his search.

With the long hallways, it takes a second to reach, so he is left to his own thoughts. Thoughts that immediately ask how the hell Ning Yingying found him that quickly! He was nowhere near the first place she found him last session, so why was she suddenly changing her route!? The Killer he could excuse with bad game mechanics. It is common that games spawn their monsters around the player to always have danger near. But Ning Yingying is not a monster! She is another character! Those rules should not apply to her!

He will have to keep an eye and ear out for her. Especially when the Killer is near. 

As he stands by the laboratory, he considers his option. His rule of right-is-always-right already broke during the first chase with the Killer, as the room is placed on the left wall. Funny how you don't think about stuff like that when running for your life. 

Rule already broken, so where to go? He might have already missed a door or two, so should he go back and check? He will admit he is already getting kind of tired of this hallway and there is still a third direction he has yet to check out, back where the hallway splits.

Okay, he can always come back later. He knows there is more stuff to explore, so he adds it to his mental to-do list. He turns back towards the way he came, and with the left wall now becoming his right, he goes back with his hand trailing the wall. 

He turns around the corner before he finds another real door. It is actually nice that the amount of locked doors has been limited. The fake doors are easy to pass when just walking around, so if they instead had been real, but locked, he would have been much more of a hassle. He can appreciate not having more of his time needlessly wasted.

The room he finds is a large living room. Multiple bookshelves line half the wall and there are a few tables clearly meant for card games and such. The furniture appears soft, with a few couches and armchairs scattered around. It seems like the kind of room that guests would gather in later in the evening. A big deep red carpet covers the floor, softening his steps as he enters. 

Only three sessions in and Shen Qingqiu can already feel he is getting drained. The excitement of exploration is much weaker after dying three horrible times (Not even counting the meat bun incident!). It is only the beginning of the game and he already wants this to be over.So he tries not to think of how little of the beginning area he has solved, so exhaustion doesn’t settle in.

He finds almost nothing of interest in the room. Some supplies that he honestly considers just leaving. They certainly haven't done him any good so far. One of the bookshelves has an interesting selection of high quality alcohol. But trying to interact with any of the bottles, it is as if they are glued to the shelf. So in the end, he can only leave.

He walks for a long time before he finds another real door. He gets back to the hallway split, finally checking the third corridor. Even then, it is first when he almost reaches the end that he finds a real door. Though when he grabs the door handle, it is locked. There is a shiny keyhole, so clearly he is meant to return here later.

Continuing from here, the next door, the one at the very end of the hallway is both real and unlocked. Opening it up, he is introduced to a larger bedroom.

At first glance, it is noticeably more luxurious than the room Shen Qingqiu keeps finding himself waking up in. Best represented by the huge balcony framed by glass doors. He is immediately distracted from checking the rest of the room, the prospect of fresh air too enticing to ignore.

Stepping outside, the wind against his face is pure relief, blowing away his aches. It is still raining, but a small roof above the balcony keeps him from getting wet. The entire balcony is made of smooth stonework, the railing carved into graceful shapes. It is a bit low, but still Shen Qingiu leans against it as he takes in deep breaths. It is bliss to feel the cooling breeze against his skin compared to the stale and dusty air of the mansion.

There is also more to see of the outside from here. A few light posts are placed in what appear to be the beginning of a garden. At the start there are mostly flowers and smaller bushes, but they grow into hedges that lead deeper behind the mansion. Shen Qingqiu can't help but look around, but sees no traces of Luo Binghe or Ning Yingying. Sadly the entrance is not visible from here. 

With nothing of use out here and lungs full of clean, nice air, he steps back inside. He feels more clear headed after that, like his batteries just got charged. He is again determined to properly investigate this mansion!

Finally taking a look around the room, he first takes note of the high quality of the double bed pushed into the corner. Mostly because it looks much comfier than his own room's bed. Not that he expects to be sleeping in any beds with all the dying and restarting that he is dealing with. 

Beside the bed is a small bookshelf. A quick look inside reveals a ripped picture of two people wearing old fashioned clothes standing together. Both of them look at something to the side with disdain, though that part is ripped off. The backside contains what he assumes is their names, which reveals they must be family.

A clear hint towards a backstory that he already knows.

The room also has a huge clock, small decorations of instruments carved into it. It is currently broken with one of the clock needles missing. Something to look out for, he supposes.

What is most noticeable is a glass container resting against the wall opposite from the bed. When Shen Quingiu looks into it, he sees a flute resting on a pillow. The light wooden material almost lighting up when contrasted to the dark fabric beneath it. He is quick to find the container is locked. With a number combination lock.

If he is wrong, it could result in a trap. But he still dares to try. 

4-8-6-2

The container clicks and Shen Qingqiu can't help but be excited as it opens. This might actually be the first puzzle he has solved since transmigrating to this game! Well, there is also the sliding puzzle for the spiritbox, but that one is so easy, so it doesn't count. This one was also quite easy, he just had to find the correct note, but still! He is actually progressing!!

Reaching inside, he picks up the flute. It is very light. He doesn't recognize the wood it is made of, but it is clearly a high quality craftsmanship. The image of a small bamboo forest is etched into the flute and Shen Qingqiu can't help but follow the pattern with the tip of his fingers. Turning it around and looking inside, he finds a piece of paper wrapped around a key. 

The other half of the picture. 

This part depicts a child. It is hard to determine his age, especially because he seems big compared to the baby fat softening his face. Looking on the backside, he confirms the child must be related to the other half’s adults.

He leaves both parts of the picture in the glass container. He is much more interested in the small key, as he already suspects where it will lead. Taking it and the flute, he is ready to abandon this room. And right as he leaves, he is surprised by two things he should not be surprised by anymore.

The spiritbox turns to life. And Ning Yingying stands right on the other side of the door. 

Before she can open her mouth, Shen Qingqiu is already dragging her inside the room. He peeks out for a second, but sees no sign of the Killer. He closes the door and quickly turns off the spiritbox. 

Turning towards Ning Yingying, she throws herself at him. 

"Senior Shen! I am so glad to see you! I was afraid something had happened to you! Luo Binghe is gone and-"

"I know. What are you doing here?"

At his cold tone, she freezes. Stepping back, her expression of relief falls into something closer to insecurity.

"Wha- What do you mean senior?"

"You-!" Shen Qingqiu is about to start, but then realizes he interrupted her too quickly. She hasn't mentioned the Killer yet and this early it doesn't make sense that he has seen him. He has to give a different explanation. "Why are you split up from Luo Binghe? You and him should have been on your way by now, so obviously something has happened."

"We got a-attacked by someone. Right after we s-saw a corpse-"

"Someone is dead!?" 

Shen Qingqiu feels bad as Ning Yingying flinches at his harsh voice. He can only mentally apologize as this is for the best for the both of them.

"Ye-yes, we found the corpse of-"

"And you are just running around? You find a dead body, someone attacks you and you think that is the best time to wander around?" Shen Qingqiu keeps interrupting. While Ning Yingying is still wet from being outside and likely was already crying when he stumbled upon her, he still thinks he can see more tears fall from her eyes. Her body has begun to tremble and like this, she seems much smaller. Like she is just a frightened child caught in a horrible situation. 

Shen Qingqiu clears his throat in the hope that it will release the pressure in his chest.

"I'm sorry," Ning Yingying says, in a voice so small it could be a whisper. "I was afraid something would happen to you."

This is too much. With a sigh, Shen Qingqiu takes off his coat and hands it to her. She hesitates, looking into his eyes to ask for permission, like he isn't already giving it to her. She sniffs as she takes it.

"I am your upper classmate. Your senior. It is not your responsibility to look after me. So it would have been better for everyone if you just had found a place to hide," he reprimands. Ning Yingying just nods, looking down at the ground. "I will go look for something that can help us. You will stay here and hide. I will come get you after I find a way out."

She doesn't answer. He forces his voice to become harder. "Do you understand?" he presses. 

She finally nods again and that is enough. So Shen Qingqiu turns and leaves her alone in the room. Right before he goes, he checks the spiritbox. The Killer is still around, but not close by. That must be good enough for now.

Back in the hallway, he goes straight for the locked door. It is the only room he knows for certain is close by and he doesn't like staying around in the open with the Killer wandering around. 

Earlier, he assumed correctly. The key fits. 

inside isn't that impressive though, as Shen Qingqiu realizes he just entered a bathroom.

It is small, with just a single toilet and sink. The humbleness of the room fits much better with Shen Qingqius' wake up room than anything else he has seen of the mansion so far. 

With the bathroom this small, there isn't a lot to search. The toilet is clean and functioning. The pipes going to the sink are slightly rusty. As he turns on the water, though, he can hear something rattle from the drain. He doesn't quite stick his finger inside, but he finds it is too deep down to reach by human hands.

After the quickest search so far he leaves. Finding Ning Yingying standing right outside the door. 

She no longer looks like a miserable drowned mouse. As she stands in his way, her eyes are full of determination. Her inner lion has broken free, a cornered beast ready to fight back.

"You know what Shen Qingqiu? I won't just hide while you go around putting yourself in danger! I'm not some little girl and I know I can help if you would just listen to me-" She starts, but before her confrontation can continue they are interrupted. 

They both hear heavy breathing. Simultaneously turning their heads, they look down the hallway. Standing closer than should be possible without being noticed is the Killer. 

He lifts his axe. 

All the bravery Ning Yingying had managed to gather evaporates like water in a desert at the sight of their doom. There is only one place they can run to with any hope of surviving. 

Crashing back into the bedroom, they both panicky look around for any place to hide. Before they can act, the door bursts open from the force of the Killer.

Ning Yingying runs out to the balcony. 

Shen Qingqiu turns around in time to see the axe swinging and this time he manages to avoid it by leaping to the side. This only gives him a second to react to the next swing, in which he falls to the ground. 

But he doesn't stay down. 

Pushing himself back up, it is pure luck that the next swing just barely misses his leg. With the wild swings, he won't be able to get around the Killer. So he throws himself outside where Ning Yingying is. 

While the balcony is big, it is not two young adults and an oversized killer big. So as Ning Yingying catches him at first, they are forced to push away from each other as the axe attempts to cleave them. Shen Qingqiu lands against the railing while Ning Yingying falls to the ground. The Killer steps out with them. After a second he decides to turn his focus to Shen Qingqiu. His target has been chosen.

The axe comes for him. First Rusty metal hits stone, the screech from the impact making their ears bleed. Second, the axe aims for his chest. The swing forces him to step back. 

There is nothing but railing behind him. A railing that is too low. 

Instead of being cornered, Shen Qingqiu finds himself losing his balance. His mind flashes back to the stairs, as his hands try to grasp at the reiling. He doesn't catch it in time. His feet don't find ground. 

He falls. 

With his back to his doom, Shen Qingqius' eyes are locked with the grinning demon above. As he falls through the air, strong winds pulling at his clothes, he sees nothing but dark empty slits. Two pools of void.

He hits the ground with a sickening crunch. 

He thought his body broken when he fell down the stairs. He was wrong. Falling from the second floor, right onto stone and concrete, there is nothing to soften his impact. Too many bones break at once. His spine. The back of his skull. His arms and legs. The skin and meat of his back splits apart from the force. Turns into mush. Blood and flesh and brain matter leaks from his body.

And during it all, Shen Qingqiu sees nothing but the black eyes of a mocking devil, its gaze heavy as it looks down at him.

The last thing he registers is light footsteps coming towards him.

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 08/04/2024

Shiny Smily TALE

Season 8 No Album Release (Read More) Shiny Smily Story (OST Version) - HoloCure

Ripped by Ellie53

Well, would you believe it - its the eighth Season 8 rip being covered, on the eighth of April (half of eight)! And what better way to celebrate this than to cover completely uncharted territory for the blog - an UNDERTALE rip!!

I kid, I kid - though Undertale is definitely quite prominently featured on here, I feel as if it is rightfully earned. It and its psuedo-sequel in Deltarune feel almost like the frontmen of the SiIvaGunner channel in some way, as Season 1 began mere months after Undertale and its music began making waves online in late 2015. Such a hot topic was impossible to ignore, yet SiIvaGunner and Undertale have a fair bit in common that made the game's continued presence on SiIvaGunner feel very natural. There's the lore theming of course, I covered that briefly in Your Best Nightmario, but it also extends to the very core of what Undertale is: A game shamelessly rooted in silliness and absurd, internet-age comedy, yet still able to evoke such real attachments and emotions. The fit was all too perfect, and so the Undertale rips have continued year after year - Hoopache, Outertale, Determination is Magic, BUSTER HAND, and on and on and on. It may seem difficult to imagine that these all manage to stay fresh for so long, but they all find a way - and Shiny Smily TALE, eight years into the channel's life, shows that they're here to stay.

Immediately upon first hearing Shiny Smily TALE, I was reminded of one of the most recent UT/DR rips to have been covered on here, in kris gaming. Its reference was completely lost to me, being an arrangement in the style of stock music popularly used within VTuber circles, of which I'm terminally unfamiliar with - but the sheer vibe, the coziness, comfort of it all just made it such a wonderful listen. I don't mean to say that the VTuber world is one I oppose, moreso that its a part of the internet that still feels so nigh impenetrable to me - althesame, I love admiring it from a distance, just seeing how much passion and endearment is formed within these creators' communities.

And I immediately felt many of those feelings when hearing Shiny Smily TALE for the first time!! Shiny Smily Story has such a wonderful sound to it already, a vibe at once danceable and comforting - "Future Bass", I believe its typically called? - which turns the once-dramatic feel of SAVE The World into something far more pure-hearted in its arrangement here. Its as if all of those emotions still present from SAVE The World are spun into something far sweeter, spun like a legend of something exciting ahead, but with happiness and joy at the forefront. Without too much experience in listening to the original Shiny Smily Story, its hard to assess "accurately" how impressive of an effort this is, but what I DO know is of Ellie53's prowess in ripping - I was practically forced to during the great Raftmageddon incident of April 1st 2024. But even these jokier rafts rides, ones like Raft Ride at Freddy's and TiK ToK, on the clock, but the Raft Ride don't stop, no, show how good she is at merging two songs to such seamless (if, here, comedic) effect. Indeed, I can pick up on a lot of subtler touches done here to make the arrangement work, Shiny Smily TALE utilizes the various ebb-and-flowing sections of intensity and noise within the Shiny Smily Story theme, to punctuate the progression of SAVE The World where it best fits. For instance using a calmer section for the Hopes and Dreams leitmotif, only for it to build in excitement as it progresses, like the very song itself is pulling itself out of isolation and loneliness...allllmost commenting on Asriel's own struggles in Undertale?

Okay, okay, I won't quite go there - but the theme of community and love is one I do want to wrap things up with, adding one last little anecdote. Because it extends beyond the confines of just this rip, extending as far back as 2020, with Sarvéproductions' SAVE the Virtual World. Yes - the inverse joke of Shiny Smily TALE, Shiny Smily Story and SAVE The World, was made four years ago by another long-time excellent ripper: Sarvéproductions, the one behind Bloody Freddy and many more on the channel, across his many years of contributing. It's an equally lovely rip in its own way (likely more, for those attached to HoloLive!), but its the sentiment that Shiny Smily TALE shows that really makes it land for me - that Ellie53 wanted to pay tribute to HoloLive, and at once was able to make it as much of a tribute to a fellow long-time channel contributor, to a partner-in-crime on the channel! It's not a new thing to occur on the channel of course, rips like old town ribbon race and Green Panty Zone (Sequenced Ver​.​) were made in tribute to specific rips or specific rippers respesctively, but I love how interpersonal this exchange between Ellie53 and Sarvéproductions feels in particular, how well it all fits with the feel of HoloLive and VTuber communities in general - and of course, I love how genuinely fantastic Shiny Smily TALE sounds on top of it all.

[trowel1sthename]

7 PM - Lee Seokmin

pairing: seokmin x nurse fem!reader

prompt: you went to Han River feeling drained by the stress as a health worker in a foreign country.

warning:

few medical terms were included and might as well encounter grammatical errors due to lack of proof reading

wc: 2k

note:

it's mainly inspired by BSS new released Second Wind track, 7 pm. So please stream the whole album, BSS and their production did well upon manufacturing this whole masterpiece possible.Enjoy!

photo credits: dk_is_dokyeom

_______________________________________________________________________________

Everyone could tell that you're not at your best today. You just can't accept the fact that one of the patient you've grown close to expired. You remembered how her eyes sparkled, her endearing smile and hopes as young as adolescent whilst her condition deteriorating every encounter. However, today, it came to an end. She left not in the four corners of her ward...but for good - with nothing but memories you'll cherish. A foster family you'll remember 'till your last breath. 

It is true they say that the feeling would be worst than your first heartbreak. 

Staying in a foreign country was far easiest. Starting from the day you land and explore a few feet from Incheon Airport to attest your luck as a foreign worker, the strong glare and the whisper you receive were enough to shoo anyone back from where they came from. But it neither touched the outer layer of your ego nor simply frighten you. 

You just never thought your profession could hurt you more than anything.

However, you are well aware that this instance was just the dawn of the distress you may face as a health worker and to this country. The news was enough to tell you the trend. But having a family to feed also reminds you to take a blind eye onto that and keep your personal feelings out of your way (especially in this kind profession).

.

.

.

You weren’t sure where you get the energy of walking from the hospital you were in, yet you just know that you needed a most placid place you could reach to vent all the bitterness of the day bombarded you. The vibration of your phone reminded you of how selfish you were to silent your notifications and leave your poor co-nurse oblivious of your immediate absence. Maybe an Iced-Americano would do the trick for the next day? 

All you could think of as of now is to deliver your last farewell to your friend.  Maybe Han River could never be as high to reach the highest of heaven or be the most secluded area for your intention, but you know this would be the best place for her.

Once you get the right spot of the bridge, you will tell her that you kept your promise, just a bit late. You will tell her how lonely you felt since her absence and also regretful of not coming here with her any sooner. Though it might take time for the wound to heal, you also promise her that you will. 

While walking, eyes alternating the minimal car passers and the tiny city lights, you can't help but to reminisce the sequence of the day that left you soulless and emotional. 

How could this day be so harsh on you when all you did was to heal people? Wasn't that a positive thing to do?

The bus perfect for you to arrive at your hospital on time left early than expected so you have no choice but to take cab that charged you double the average. Again, another patient you almost lost, even when you desperately want to resuscitate them, yet you can't due to their DNR order. And just as you thought you could somehow relief some of the overwhelming events from this day, the family call that you received for the first time after the long week got ruthlessly cut shortly after the poor internet connectivity.

You want to cry... yell... anything that could somehow release the burden you were feeling. But you instead choose to extract them out by a long sigh, afraid that someone was there as well to have their peace.

The thought itself aches your whole body to completely drain its optimism, and also pleading you to pause for a bit from your undying walk. You just felt sorry for yourself since the confidence you openly display to your family and friends upon conquering the dilemma of a health worker seems to fall off. “Sorry...” It is more intended for yourself than for the people you think of. The cold wind of this country just hits differently from your own. You involuntarily grasp your left hand to the bars of the bridge just to secure your balance caused by your fatigued well-being and the other were to hold onto the caffeine you manage to take out at the convenience store down the street. Also, this is your way to position yourself to have a good view of the night sky being beamed by the little lights of the city.

.

.

.

“Ilgupsie manna yaksok jangso hangang...” Your solicitude got suddenly interrupted by the singing of this random Korean folk. Thankfully, their voice was soothing enough for you liking orelse you could possibly thrown your coffee straight to them by irritation. The melody is precise for the scenery – too precise to the point that it comforts your current resistless state and yearn to hear for another entry. It was too good, yet you reminded yourself that this night is intended for your re-charging, ALONE.

Just so you’re about to confront them to give you your peace and sing their song to themselves, their sniff prevents you from doing so. “...ppalli anda sigan a meomchwora, Be here with me.” 

He flinched. The sudden contact of your elbow to his makes the young man startled and withdraw his initial thought of him being alone. Seriously, how did you get there? “Maybe you need this more than me” You offered the caffeine you were holding for about half an hour that almost lost its warmth due to the bold wind assaulting you. 

“What’s this?” He eyed the caffeine.

“Act of service… felt like I needed to.” Nonchalant with your acts, you simply turn to face the young man for you to void being rude. "And don't you worry, it wasn't touched yet." You studied his features. His strong strong masculine demeanor is quite the opposite of this childish behavior you perceived. His cheeks were pinkish from the cold, his nose bridge was high, and his monolid doe eyes radiates pure innocence to the point that it felt wrong to see him shed tears right in front of you. This vulnerable state of him alerts your mere instincts to protect him at all costs. God, I thought I’m off duty. 

You could also tell that this guy is well-off just by judging how he dressed.  The white polo under his dark brownish denim paring with a classic black jeans sounds basic, however this guy just manage to make them look expensive - they could possibly be branded. 

“Thanks” He accepts the offer with a small smile as you detach your stare to refrain yourself from any further thoughts and point them back to the city lights ahead. “I’ve never seen you coming.” “I arrived first.” You clarified.

Just before the unnamed latter spoke, his alarm rang. ”Sorry for the surprise, just a routine that’s needed to be done.” The small nod that the gentleman receives from you makes him at ease that he somehow confirms that his presence wasn’t bothersome to you. At least he knows you weren't going anywhere just yet by witnessing your calm frame against the rails of the bridge.  “It’s 7 pm. I set that alarm as I learned that the Han Bridge River got emptied by that specific time stamp. It is a good coincidence though. My work ends about 20 minutes before so I think it is a good thing to loosen myself a bit to my favorite place.” So, he frequents here? You thought. Though it wasn't really something substandard, it just wonders you how can he be so warm to a person he barely knows. 

“Seokmin” You didn’t ask but he did it anyway. “Thanks for the coffee by the way. It helped a lot.” You also ponder where you get the guts of offering your only caffeine after walking miles just to grab that favorite liquid of yours. “It wasn’t really generous to consider after all. Take that as a fair human act.” Lies.

Now it was his turn to face you to catch a glimpse of this humble human-kind he came across with. Now he knows that you're a health worker just by how your white uniform peek through against your jet-black trench coat. No wonder why you're being unselfish to him. 

Seokmin didn't miss uneasiness due to the heels you were wearing. He could tell just by you were shifting them from time to time. "Here, wear this for the meantime." He wasn't certain why he kept bringing extra slippers while going to this specific bridge despite wearing the most comfortable leather shoes he owned. 

Now he knows why. 

"Reciprocating are we, aye?" You chuckle, and too bad for you as you miss Seokmin smiles just as how lovingly your angelic giggle was. Why do you wear them though? Here's the thing. You ought to yourself that you should wear the most fashionable and high-class fits you could possibly dress to fairly fill in those aching days when you couldn't due to the high tropical country you lived in. Coats and high heels were impossible as the high heat and uneven placement of lands forbid you so. And now you're suffering because of your extra self.

"Let me do that." He was hesitant at first.

Seokmin witnessed how you struggle removing your cone heels in spite of them being 4 inches high, and the jet-black trench you were wearing was also adding weight to your difficulties. So as the gentleman he is, he thought of helping this extra woman in front of him.

Once he settled himself crouching - he first starts with your right heels and you know your cheeks were not only blushing due to the cold weather just by how this fine man were ready to help you with your stupidity.  You weren't used to these kinds of gentleman act and you will never. 

"I went here for a friend." It was your lowkey way to divert your fluttering heart. Thanks, God the guy was simply indulged with his work and did a small nod, or else he'll catch sight your most awkward state. 

"She passed this morning, and I'm only saying my goodbyes to her favorite place for her not to pout her way to heaven." You chuckled, and Seokmin knows that it's bittersweet. He could tell that you're somehow happy that you fulfilled your promised to your friend, however, the loneliness was still evident due to the sudden abscence. Damn, why does my tears only comes out now? Okay, stop now. You're not here to cause a scene.

"Excuse me for th-" "Hey, it's fine." He said as he slightly smiled - satisfied with his work while standing up and also never neglecting to stay delicate with you. "Tears were not only meant to display joy after all. They could as well be the silent screams of pain. It is excruciatingly painful to see your love ones have their last days with you and talk their last with you on their dead bed. I'm proud of you 'cause not all people have the courage to continue their way without those they cherish. Cry as you want. I'm right here to tell that you're protected from the judgements of the world with me. As long as you're with me." He smiled reassuringly.

Now, you hate Seokmin for making you cry even more. You closed your eyes and let few of your tears drop against your cheeks. You never thought that a barely known person can be this affirming as you were taught that you should never talk to a stranger. The comfort that you received from your family was as the same as Seokmin's. How was that possible? You thought. 

The sight ahead him indeed ache his heart. As much as Seokmin wants to hold you onto his arms and tightly embrace you and pat your head to somehow let you know that he's here for you to let out your pain with, if words was not enough. However, the young man never want to go beyond your comfort, or simply startle you with the gesture. So the brunet gentleman settle patting shoulder and accompany you with him by your side. 

"Maybe not as heavy as yours, since this morning, I wasn't feeling as good as usual. Maybe because of the lack of sleep? And it got worse when my hyung (Seungcheol) scolded me for something I didn't do and he didn't bother to asked anyone at the scene. It was Seungkwan who finished the entire Iced Americano intended for that one staff. Plus my tires are now flat due to some stray irksome lump that I didn't notice on the way here.” The narration makes you giggle a bit, that partly offended Seokmin, but also thankful for he succeeded on making smile. 

"Hey, that's not fair. My ego got offended because of the scolding, you know?" He later chuckle along seeing you being comfortable now around him. He just hopes that you smile more frequent now as he came to learn that it suits you more than your straight face when he first set his eyes on you.

You weren't sure who this Seungkwan was, but you’re slightly thankful for him doing that, or else you might not witness or less, would never meet this most sulky brunet gentleman ever. You just loved the way he looks down pouting at his toes when you got him vaguely offended.

“That’s fine. Maybe your hyung was just tired at that moment. You could go talk with him and settle things tomorrow between you both.” He nodded, seemingly agreeing with your proposal as a peacemaker and directing his brown doe eyes to yours accompanied by a smile.

Cute.

.

.

.

The night passed with both of you sharing your stories about the day, and you will never forget how hilarious Seokmin's face was when he laughed (sounding like windshield) and spilled his coffee directly from his nose as for the reason of you cursing your head nurse with your language and also said their thank you when you explained it was translated as something complementing. At least Seokmin now would never want to be your enemy if doesn't to be cursed at. 

It definitely would not be the most visually pleasing side of the guy, but you know that his trying his best to make you happy for the moment. He may not withdraw all of the sorrow of the day, yet, at least he managed to lessen them and you're genuinely thank Seokmin for that. The guys is indeed a hidden angel. 

You checked the time, and the watch reminded you about the duty you have for the next day. “Maybe my leisure is done for tonight. I still have my responsibilities tomorrow. Oh, and thanks for the slippe- “You can keep them.” He reassured with a cheeky smile. You found it funny though. How would you use them daily considering their size? But it was still from Seokmin, you would kept them anyways.

The night ends with Seokmin accompanying you to your apartment and fairly convincing you a thousand times that his car would be fine with an ample amount of drive. 

After you bid your goodbye accompanied by a smile as a gratitude for all his kind gestures to you and finally, turn your back to Seokmin to call it a day – hands almost touched the door nub, “Does 7 pm at Han River sound good?” He smiled sheepishly, as you scoffed at the sudden offer “Are you asking me out?” 

“It was too early to say that, but maybe that’s the same thing. So, I guess? but more of a friend type.” He clarified, yet you're never aware of how hard he gather his last energy to utter those words. Also, Seokmin thanks the person who decided to place the lamp post not directly to where his car was or else, you would witness how flustered he is now. “And…oh, could we bring pizza as well?

You just simply shook your head and giggle at how ridiculous his remarks were. To be honest, you're undeniably the hardest to convince in anyway. Even your co-worker just accepts their defeat and simply quit to even try to ask you hang out with them. It wasn't really your thing though and they could never argue with you. Declining should definitely be the answer to this, however, your instincts is opposing the idea and tells you that Seokmin was no harm and could never do you wrong. Besides, if he did. He should've done his thing when you were at your vulnerable state, yet he did not. “Okay, same time, same place.” 

“Promise?” You sealed your promise by raising your pinky finger and curling them against Seokmin’s despite the air distance. “I promise.”

Now you know that you did chose the right choice just by eyeing how cutely he smiled - wrinkles also displaying at the mere corner of his eyes. And you know that they're genuine.

You actually forget to give your name to the gentleman. It was Seokmin who was smart enough to eye for any trance of your name on the caffeine you offer him from earlier. He wasn’t sure if it was a blessing that you left a sticky note in his car, which was intended for your colleague just by judging the foreign name written on it, he would surely give you a call tomorrow but for now, Seokmin will stay up ‘till eleven reminiscing the sweetest night he ever had.

[aaliyahunleashed]

Queen of the Damned

QUOTE of the Day >>

"Working with her was amazing. She was a really special person and, I mean amazing on set. We'd walk around and she created this fantastic character, but it was always a sense of fun, like the shoot was fun, and most shoots aren't, and with her, she's very serious about work but off set or in between takes, she was always a lot of fun. I didn't know if I'd be able to meet the press and sitting here, doing this, but thankfully, her family want the public to see her performance because it's wild." – Stuart Townsend when asked about working with Aaliyah on the set of QOTD and his shock after her death.

DID YOU KNOW:

Author, Anne Rice herself was so disgusted by the film's massacre of her work that she denounced Queen of the Damned upon its release (although she did praise the casting). Rice passed away December 11, 2021.

DID YOU KNOW:

Queen of the Damned Novel fans were NOT happy when it was announced that Aaliyah was casted the role of THE QUEEN *Akasha*. They did NOT believe in Aaliyah's capability to perform the role. After the film was released, Aaliyah gain the respect from the QOTD/Anne Rice fanbase with praise all over the internet and vampire message board forums that Aaliyah did an exceptional job and went above and beyond. To this day, that fanbase feels Aaliyah marked a new threshold and changed the game for female vampire roles. Sadly, Aaliyah would pass away before hearing and reading the skepticism change to mad respect and praise. Many Aaliyah fans only watch QOTD for Aaliyah's scenes.

[sarahhillips]

My Personal Issues With Willet

Disclaimer: I wrote this post years ago but never shared it on any of my Tumblr accounts until now. This post is not meant to shit on Willet shippers or the futuristic four fandom or start a fight. If you can’t handle someone having a different opinion than you on the internet, then try reading a book.

Wait, what is Willet?

Willet is the crossover ship between Violet Parr from The Incredibles and Wilbur Robinson from Meet the Robinsons.

This crossover couple blew up around popular geek websites in 2007 after the release of Meet the Robinsons. I guess people assumed, “Oh, he has the same hair color as Violets and he’s kinda cute so they would be cute together.”

There’s fanart and fanfiction everywhere. I can’t go through the Violet Parr tag on Tumblr without stumbling upon the ‘willet’ or even the ‘futuristic four’ tag. Kind of annoying when you’re trying to look for content of your comfort character and your NOTP keeps popping up.

Now, I’ve seen Violet get shipped with a bunch of people outside The Incredibles from Danny Fenton to Peter Parker. I never cared for those crossovers myself but Willet is the one that irks me and makes me cringe the most.

And don’t get me wrong. I can be open minded about crossover couples. Just not these. Crossover couples can work and I’ve roleplayed some very unlikely ones as other characters. It’s not about how likely it is for Person A and Person B to meet. It’s about if they’d have chemistry.

Wilbur and Violet would not have chemistry. Here’s why;

He’s annoying af and she hates annoying people

Violet deals with an annoying brother on a regular basis. This is something everyone with a little sibling has the endure. So why would she settle for a loud, mouthy boyfriend? Wilbur is grabby and pushy too, and Violet wouldn’t like that. He’d be like a second annoying brother she’s being forced to tolerate.

And what if she has a question? Would Wilbur answer it or find out the answer for her? No. He’d go, ‘That is an excellent question’ and make no effort to see it answered. Tell me, would you overlook all that just because you think a guy is cute? Probably not.

His family be crazier than hers

Anyone who has watched Meet the Robinsons knows how crazy that dinner scene was. They weren’t just eating spaghetti. They were doing karate and shooting meatballs out of meatball cannons. And then family drama ensued. You think Violet wouldn’t throw her fork, pull out her chair, and leave? Or ask Mrs. Robinson to take her home? Because she absolutely would.

While the Robinsons are sweet and have a wonderful lesson to teach about failure, they’re not quiet. For Walts sake, one of them is married to a puppet.

Willet Work? It Willnot.

So, I’ve come clean. I’ve said I’ve severely disliked this ship for years but wouldn’t be vocal about it because I’m against ship bashing. While I don’t consider sharing reasons why a ship wouldn’t work ‘ship bashing’, some people would which was why I held back.

This is Tumblr so of course I’m expecting somebody to get mad. Throw your stones, I really don’t give a fuck.

I don’t like Willet because I love Violet too much and she deserves what’s best for her, whether it involves a boyfriend or not. Wilbur is not a good match for her.