ivy-meshle

[ivy-meshle]

Details I would ask my artist to include in my portrait to communicate the glorious wealth and bounty of mine noble estate

XXL Costco pack of toilet paper, still sealed to demonstrate that the need was not desperate

Dresser in the background with top two drawers both just a little open to show that overflowing piles of clean socks and underwear prevent it from closing all the way

An open container of raspberries, the fastest-moulding of the expensive luxury fruits, showing that I purchased fresh produce recently and at full price for no special occasion

The walls are painted a vibrant colour and covered in hanging art, showing that I have the legal freedom to modify my own living space and may even own property

[ivy-meshle]

whether it’s a machine for creating new laws of reality or your shitty overpriced piece of crap washing machine, the answer is the same: percussive maintenance.

[ivy-meshle]

to get a job you have to have 10 years of experience in every possible tool and task that could even tangentially be related to what you'll actually be doing and then you have to prove that you're the smartest person in the world and you're organised and proactive and have great problem solving skills. and then if you beg on your knees like a dog enough and actually get the job, the entire first week will be doing spent reading shit like: 'MANDATORY HEALTH AND SAFETY TRAINING: if the floor is SLIPPERY or BUMPY, you might TRIP. this is BAD. please take this test to check your knowledge. question 1: is tripping bad? yes/no'

[ivy-meshle]

Every single woman should have hairy ass armpits and they should always wear tank tops and show it off at every convenience

[ivy-meshle]

eh, fuck it, i’ve got a horsehead amulet. i’ll take a dip in the furnace, see what it does.

[ivy-meshle]

this guy posted this video called “unethical money making hacks” and was like “i’m selling bullshit art!” and he was buying prints from kmart and covering them in joint compound and making interesting shapes in the joint compound and then selling it as “textured wall art” like sorry bro that’s just regular art you made art i know it feels like bullshit but you’re actually just making art rn

[ivy-meshle]

sex pollen is OUT, honesty pollen is IN. Expose your characters to alien chemicals that make them actually talk to each other

[ivy-meshle]

science side of tumblr, tell me your favorite fact or story about your discipline!

[ivy-meshle]

It's not a virtue to focus totally on your own peace and disregard problems around you. Ironically, it's also not a virtue to stew in your own anxiety.

[ivy-meshle]

the reason programming guides tell you not to abbreviate your variable and function names excessively is because all the abbreviations got used by the guys who built the frameworks. zero readability just names as short as possible.

[ivy-meshle]

it's crazy how plausible all the shit the corporations do in the murderbot diaries is. that one scene when murderbot was talking to those humans who had signed a 20 year corporate work contract and it asked them if the contract specified 20 years by the standard local calendar or by a proprietary calendar created by the company was downright unsettling 😬 if the ceos of modern earth companies read these books they would probably start crying because the government won't let them do most of this in real life.

[ivy-meshle]

i got these knockoff boots online and instead of the brand name on the tag they have the name of an apparently nonexistent martin scorsese movie??? what the fuck

[ivy-meshle]

i HAVE to stop looking at shelter cats until i'm moved but BUNNY

[ivy-meshle]

did I tell you guys how much my boss spent on food delivery apps last year

[ivy-meshle]

feminism shouldn’t be about patting housewives on the back for making that decision but it should be about making sure that if that housewife’s husband starts cheating or slapping her around that she can be taken seriously, get a divorce, not have everyone in her life turn against her, not force her to send the children back to his house every other weekend where he starves them just to send her a message, and not be left in financial ruin

[ivy-meshle]

Wrote a short thing about this year's Estival, and how it might feel to find yourself on a croissant.

[ivy-meshle]

"came back wrong" but it's more explicitly + intentionally about medical and/or caregiver abuse