#but he just. he just cant do what he used to be able to do
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Thinkin about another sj-centric scum villain au...
Thinking about a pre-binghe sqq, tired of always being under constant scrutiny and over feeling unsafe and ostracized despite all his efforts, deciding to leave cqms to track down an artifact rumored to allow someone the power to basically alter reality to an extent. He tells no one where hes going because soon its not going to matter anyway.
Thinking about him finding and using the artifact to remove himself from history, erasing everyone's memory of him until he is no more than a ghost haunting the narrative. Shen Qingqiu, and by extension Shen Jiu, has never existed.
Thinking about the consequences of this action... Sure he' achieved a true blank slate, free to walk around as he pleases, be whoever he wants to be rather than pretend to appease the small minds of others, but his newfound anonymity comes at a cost.
The brothel jiejie's at the warm red pavilion still greet him as an old friend, but they no longer know him. They do not remember him, his struggles, his achievements even as he remembers all of theirs. What was once a safe haven now feels fake; to them he's just another man paying for a service. He no longer visits the warm red pavilion.
He'll never get his answers from Yue Qingyuan. He'll never know why the other abandoned him, nor why he refused to explain himself to Shen Qingqiu. He'll get over it he tells himself, he'd already accepted Yue Qi's death many years ago, and Yue Qingyuan is just another one of them anyways. He doesn't get over it.
Of course the artifact has its limits, and so those with the closest connections to Shen Qingqiu are left feeling strangely like they're missing something, something just on the tip of their tongue that they can taste but not name. Yue Qingyuan especially is left in a constant state of confusion and loss, missing something he cant place, unable to even remember the reason why he made many of the choices he did. On his desk sits an ornate fan with a crane painted on it that hed purchase for... odd, he couldnt remember why he'd bought the item, or why it made him feel so sad.
Liu Qingge too is left feeling somewhat off kilter for no apparent reason, his eyes drifting towards the bamboo groves of Qing Jing peak every so often for reasons he cant name. He's able to shrug it off for the most part, too focused on his own training to really pay it much mind, but theres always a sense of... wrongness? Frustration?- that settles in his chest whenever he spars with others, like they cant match him the way... the way what? He can't remember the last time he sparred with someone who could keep up with him, but he can almost picture the occasional flash of green, a hidden blade, leaves sharpened by qi with deadly accuracy....
#svsss#original shen qingqiu#shen qingqiu#shen jiu#yue qingyuan#liu qingge#svsss au#narrative ghost au
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its midnight and im going feral ab kurts gymnastics
#ooc.#yes its an unhealthy part of his life yes he should've stopped after nightwing yes he only stops when he is rendered physically incapable#but he loves it so much!!!! its such a core part of who he is and he just loves doing his routines he loves his skills he loves it#it crushes him so so deeply when he has to take a break after nightwing and he tries so so hard to get back into it asap#but he just. he just cant do what he used to be able to do#and then theres his moms big attack on him which leaves him in hospital spending months being able to get to the point of just#being able to walk and he Knows the moment he's told that he can't walk that its over#he keeps pressing on and hoping for a recovery that allows gymnastics but by the time hes walking again hes.#hes pretty much accepted it wont happen ever again#and some part of him is so so so crushed by that fact because it truly meant so much to him#but some part of him is also so relieved because the stress and the pain he'd put his body through over the years was a Lot
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[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]
Hitting a lil' too close to home?
#junie art post#ink sans#error sans#utmv#errorink#implied. but yea not the focus#this has been turning around in my mind for quite some time. im glad to finish it lmao idk if my ramblings make sense even.#so like listen. do you ever think about how similar the function of the utmv is to the dark worlds in deltarune.#in a meta narrative to fandom sense? idk the word#we are making exaggerated expanded worlds of the ordinary tools and entertainment of the real world and make it into something more#isnt that very very interesting?#and we explore every sort of possibility in that creation. both good and bad#and when all is said and done. every possibility found and the entertainment and secrets has all run out#we put it away. abandon and leave it behind#what is left? what happens to the world and characters we have created? can it sustain without us?#what of the ones left in the dark?#idk if yall saw me a few months ago but i reblogged comyet's old post of ink begging us not to leave him alone and to keep creating#yea that never left me#and seeing exactly THAT SCENARIO in deltarune made my brain iTCH#imagine an ink in King's position.... wait isnt that just underverse#mmmmmmm. darkner ink.....#also error is here too. not just for errorink or that i can't separate these two to save my life#but error is also one of the few people to be able to GET IT?? he can hear the creators too. ink cant#but hes pretty much programmed himself to avoid having a mental break down to this via reboot memory loss.#and ink has his own internal coping mechanism (hooray for short term memory loss)#these two idiots will do anything but confront truths lmfao#ahhh my favorite idiots. never change#mmmmm#deltarune
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Émilie Agreste purposefully giving Adrien an allergy to feathers to make sure her son would never be able to use the peacock miraculous in the future
#miraculous ladybug#emilie agreste#adrien agreste#I'm never quite sure what I think about emilie as a parent#but clearly she was aware of gabriel's obsessive tendencies#and maybe she didnt want him to be able to force adrien#(his son who he can literally control to do anything)#to wield the peacock miraculous#hard to do much miraculous-ing when you're sneezing every two seconds !#she trusted her husband so little she had to magically prevent him from using his son (in this specific way)#((obviously gabriel has lots of other ways of controlling his son))#(((but this one particular way—the way that emilie is most familiar with and the way that was ultimately going to kill her—#he cant have that way. she will protect adrien at least from this. at least from what killed her)))#that or it was just for the bit#who knows
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Bonus! "Longarm Prime"
#maccadam#poll#transformers#smash or pass#tfa#shockwave#longarm prime#they were so based for giving us a compact chubbier shockwave with an insane degree of ass#how do you think he feels about having hands and a face#is it new terrotory for him? a foreign; alien feeling that he cant quite get used to?#is it nice having extra digits? surely it gives him better dexterity. or maybe hes clumsy with them.#he could do neurosurgery with those claws before. maybe having the extras are unwieldy. clunky.#and what of his face? is it strange being able to emote? to telegraph his emotions just by visual cue?#does he do it automatically? it seemes he forgets to emote altogether sometimes. does it feel more like controlling a puppet?#is it all new to him? or has he felt it all before and never thought he would again?#in which case. is it more odd to be controlling a face that isnt his than having no face at all?#anyway hes cute and chubby and a terrible liar and he smiles like hes stoned sometimes so i wanna fuck him senseless
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king magnus skin real cute and lovely but it loses points on the account that i cant see his ass anymore
#marvel rivals#snap chats#PRIORITIES i know QVJELRKJAKLJLJ#NOW what am i supposed to do while waiting for the match to start i cant see it while melee spamming now#LIKE NOOO LET ME SEE HIS TIGHT ASS MAN whatever .. this is why ima still flip flop between using the two ..#he's still big sexy so Fine Ill Live but still ... let me look at his chiseled cheeks idgaf#i aint even an ass man tbh ........ i can just appreciate a nice sculpt/shape... been goin on bout this too long anyways#for now ima use the king skin for a while ..... shiny and new...#this lil over-the-shoulder look is always so cutesy to me ..... like hi princess ...#love how his hair clips through his lil collar like oh girlfriend...#cant wait like idk a year down the line when mags has accumulated a good amount of skins and i can make a tierlist#anyway shoutout to my friend who birthday bargained me for a comm so i could upgrade my bp and get this sooner aeLKJGLAEKJG#cant wait to be able to unlock wanda's stuff like a month from now !!!!!!!! i MUST dance every second once i unlock the flamenco emote...#rivals ima need you to lock in and give everyone a dance emote and/or a sit emote. i loved doin that shit in ow2 ....#ok bye im playin vidja game
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If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)
#maybe one day i'll write that au i have sitting in my head#ever since the comment he made about making kuwa spirit detective instead ive been thinking about it#like...what if yusuke is still recruited same as canon but like#kuwa was already spirit detective? doing assignments for the guys upstairs and all#and they made yusuke help him after his resurrection instead of going solo#and it's hilarious because they still have the ''rivalry'' set in place so it's like#now i gotta be coworkers with this guy i was in a fist fight with last week?#yusuke is like you can't be serious you want me to fight DEMONS with the guy who cant even beat ME? lmaooo okay#kuwa would be more in tune with his powers atp in this au and super offended like hello#why would i use my reiki on a FELLOW HUMAN CHILD you DICK i can hold my own on my assignments just fine#but he's actually really excited to be able to spend time with yusuke doing something besides getting his ass handed to him#they're both genkai's students (she's endlessly annoyed but they grow on her)#i just think it'd be fun cos like#it'd be harder to exclude kazuma from shit if he's literally been involved in this shit before he even met#kurama and hiei#kuwabara isn't really told about yusuke's resurrection so things go mostly the same up til he's brought back#they're both called to koenma's office and it's the spiderman pointing meme 💀#it's koenma's first time seeing kuwa in person as he usually just sends assignments with botan#yusuke has already seen him cos of the resurrection arc#and koenma is SUCH a fanboy ''kuwabara it's such a pleasure. you know you're my best worker 🥺''#''um urameshi am i seeing things or is that a fuckin baby'' yusuke will NOT stop laughing#it fucks koenma up so bad he makes sure he's in his adult form when he's around kuwa next#cos he wants to be the respected boss but also guy that you can chill with!! he's so cringe#okay yeah i need to write this it's such a fun concept#kuwameshi#yu yu hakusho#kuwabara kazuma#yusuke urameshi#koenma
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the company i work for decided that its switching from the german formal "You"(Sie) to the informal "you" (Du) in all of our websites so now we have to scour the entire database to change it and i quite frankly hate that, not just bc the unecessary extra work but especially bc its such a weird and unecessary change
i bet its bc everything here is getting englishfied (both literally and culturally it feels like, when my new boss talks its half in english bc every second german word is just replaced by an english one despite there being perfectly fine words for it in german too, its so annoying) and bc they want to sound more personal in hopes of getting more clients bc 'company is your fwiend uwu!!', i know this here is the amercian tm site so you wouldnt understand really but i do not want to be greeted with 'du' by companies, no, thats too personal, you dont know me and im not giving you my data, stay away!!
i guess thats how i would describe it .. the formal you is like a polite distance, like someone you dont know staying outside your personal space, but when its the informal 'you' it feels invasive unless i told you you can call me that, and that goes double for companies
maybe its a small thing that doesnt seem important but i cant stand it, im just a little part time worker doing data work so i got no say in it but the companies founder also announced hes giving his post to his kids some time ago so ...... since then theres been alot of changes and new projects that solely aim to imitate whats popular and whats done by other companies, despite ours being one that is, or used to be, intentionally different, like, that was the POINT, but i guess chasing trends is just too appealing for CEOs
#ganondoodles talks#personal#rare personal rant#theres more and more changes that feel so weirdly forced#like man#i thought being different was the whole point#like climate and ethics are .. or were .. the core idea and now i guess its just fine to do whatever conventional companies are doing#yeah woohoo lets also do an app thing that forces people to sign up if they want reasonable prices!#smartphones the standard everwhere!#who needs anything physical if you can put it in an a phone so syphon off data directly out of people fingertips!! yea!!!#lets use AI pitcures bc we refuse to hire more graphic desingers and they are jsut so overworked uwu#climate? ethic? whats that#argh#sorry this needed to get out#recently had a stupid conversation with a coworker bc i asked them why we are okay with AI shit now when it goes against what this-#company was presumably founded on#and he was rly defensive and said welll we dont have time and its cheap and also maybe we should got WITH the time#like that last thing especially pissed me tf off#but i cant afford to lose this job#im starting to hate it more though so the dream of being able to stay like this might not be real#i cant get a job in this place that is as nice to my mental health so idk man#i wish i was good enough at merch and online stuff so i could live of that#but even trying to find out how taxes work on that stuff is a nightmare to me
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I desperately need fics of post s2 jayvik or even an au with s2 jayce and s1 viktor where we explore the change in dynamic after jayce suffers his own leg injury in the anomaly. Im sure people have already seen all the parallels and analyses of jayce and viktor’s injuries, but it’s just a concept really special to me,,,,there’s nothing more beautiful than connecting with someone experiencing a similar struggle—it’s just so much stronger because of your ability to truly empathize with the other. And obviously that’s ignoring allll of jayvik’s history. I just think there’s so much potential there to expand on the possibilities of their relationship.
#aloonaram thots#arcane#jayvik#jayvik fanfic#jayce talis#viktor arcane#like i wish i was skilled enough as a writer to write it myself#like viktor showing jayce how to properly use a crutch so he doesnt shove it up his armpit#or jayvik fixing each others braces#and how viktor might react to jayces confidence in his disability#bc i dont think jayce would be insecure#and in turn how does that effect viktors own self image?#and what about pain management#i would looove to see them both caring for each other or even viktor teaching jayce the ideal way to care for his injury#also jumping back to the confident jayce#i truly think that if viktor saw jaycr walking confidently in a public space with his crutch and brace#viktor would feel more confident like i just know he’d be breathless at the way jayce carries himself without fear of judgment#but also conflict for conflict’s sake—what if viktor instead felt a form of jealousy? jealous that jayce was able to be more confident#how would that effect their relationship yk?#just…sm stuff i cant#im not disabled in the way jayce and viktor are but i do have disabilities so this stuff really hits home
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obligatory pokemon au time!!
#milgram project#haruka sakurai#yuno kashiki#fuuta kajiyama#muu kusunoki#shidou kirisaki#mahiru shiina#kazui mukuhara#amane momose#mikoto kayano#kotoko yuzuriha#woah what the fuck u can do 30 images at once now#i didn't draw es with their singular eevee bc i thought the limit was 10 still whoops#anyways--#haru has a singular tiny budew that follows him around and loves him. he is afraid of it#yuno has a furfrou bc she loves big dogs. and liepard bc she's cat coded#i like to think fuuta makes really amateur lowpoly 3d renders so i think itd be fun if he had boys to make art w him#muu got herself a BIG HERACROSS when she was tiny and her mom was like. cringes. don't you want a girl pokemon for girls??#and baby muu was like SHE'S PINK!!!!! and would not let go of her buggy#a sableye approached her and tried to eat her earrings. the vivillon is from her dad#my friend pointed out shidou would be the exact age for playing gen I hence the squirtle#blissey bc nurse joy. his blissey used to carry around the gloom in her lil pouch when she was just an oddish#the eldegoss is his wife's!! but she tends to tumble about in the breeze and find shidou a lot#i actually started these drawings bc mahiru going OVERHEATTT in her t1 song made me think incineroar#she treats him like a big kitten!! and her phantump is her tiny baby#OK I CAN'T FIND W HO BUT SOMEONE DREW KAZUI WITH A SHINY APPLIN AND IT'S THE FUNNIEST FUCKING THING TO EXIST#he's got a lil bisharp that wants to be a kingambit but hasn't been able to evolve#and kazui is like. ah. action figure bug. for boys. cant live up to his manly potential. i relate deeply with this man#amane got an espurr bc she deserves a cute kitty. castform reminds me of her cult's cloud symbol thing#mikoto=morpeko connection has been made a billion times but it's true. he finds it eating his redbull cans at the office
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Oryms solution to the trolley problem is to pull the lever and only kill 1 person. Which is why the gods telling him that the lever wont work, and that another trolley may be coming, keeps bothering him.
#critical role#cr3#cr spoilers#text post#orym#this is why he is so fascinating#forced to weigh peoples lives all his life#now being given responsibility to protect the entire world#he is bowing under the pressure of it#but he wont ever break#just bend and bend until he barely resembles what he used to be#love that for him#he wants to save as many people as he can#gods are telling him that he may not even be able to do that#they dont know.#he doesnt know#no one knows so now he has to make that choice#but he has 0 information#its a leap of trust but if wrong will result in millions dead#and he cant handle that#his decades of guard training coming to bite him in the ass
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walter white from breaking bad
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Walter Hartwell White (Breaking Bad) is an Anime Girl!
#my name is walter hartwell white. i live at 308 negra arroyo lane albuquerque new mexico 87104. this is my confession. if youre watching thi#s tape im probably dead. murdered by my brother in law hank schrader. hank has been building a meth empire for over a year and using me as#is chemist. shortly after my 50th birthday hank came to me with a rather shocking proposition. he asked that i use my chemistry knowledge t#cook methamphetamine which he would then sell using his connections in the drug world. connections that he made through his career with the#DEA. i was... astounded. i always thought that hank was a very moral man and i was thrown. confused. but i was also particularily vulner#able at the time. something he knew and took advantage of. i was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. han#took me on a ride along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. and i was weak. i didnt want my family to#go into financial ruin so i agreed. every day i think back at that moment with regret. i quickly realized that i was in way over my head an#hank had a partner. a man named gustavo fring. a business man. hank essentially sold me into servitude to this man and when i tried to quit#fring threatened my family. i didnt know where to turn. eventually hank and fring had a falling out. from what i can gather hank was always#pushing for a greater share of the business to which fring flatly refused to give him and things escalated. fring was able to arrange uh i#uess you could call it a hit. on my brother in law. and failed but hank was seriously injured. and i ended up paying his medical bills whic#amounted to a little over 177000. upon recovery hank was bent on revenge working with a man named hector salamanca. he plotted to kill frin#and did so. in fact the bomb that he used was built by me and he gave me no option in it. i have often contemplated suicide but i am a cowa#d. i wanted to go to the police but i was frightened. hank had risen in the ranks to become head of the DEA and about that time to keep me#n line he took my children. for 3 months he kept them.my wife who up until that point had no idea of my criminal activities was horrified t#learn what i had done. why hank had taken our children. we were scared. i was in hell i hated myself for what i had brought upon my family.#recently i tried once again to quit to end this nightmare and in response he gave me this. i cant take this anymore. i live in fear every#ay that hank will kill me or worse hurt my family. i... all i could think to do was make this video in hope that the world will finally see#this man for what he really is.#breaking bad#walter white#your fave is an anime girl#your fave is#hall of fame
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thinking yet again about Saiki‘s’s final choice in the series being “I’d rather live with my powers than die without them” bc that is seriously the single best ending of a disability narrative I’ve seen. Fuck.
#The thing people don’t tell u about being physically disabled#Is that you’ll see the physically abled people in your life start to view you as something tragic#And while they rarely say it when it comes down to things#They think you’re better dead than disabled. That you’d be happier put out of your misery.#Even with stories involving disabled characters (If we’re anything beyond a background diversity shot which is… rare)#It’s about “curing” or “overcoming” your disability which is I guess a nice sentiment but most of us won’t ever do that#Saiki doesn’t do either of those things#He wants to be cured and briefly thinks he is but then it’s discovered that he Cant be cured bc his powers are part of the whole of him#He doesn’t ever overcome them either#He just puts his glasses back on and decides that if it means he can live another day then he’ll continue to deal with them#And his powers are progressive#And that’s a thing weighing on him but it’s never treated like a death sentence#It’s just something he has to and will deal with#And it sucks but what else is he gonna do#It’s just. Aughhhhh. Aaaaaauuuuughhhhhhhhh……..#This post was brought to u by a man grieving his own mobility#physically disabled#physical disability#saiki k
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thinking about the lord of the night persona as a therapeutic tool for majima to process and cope with his trauma from the hole and his life afterwards. he essentially created a character who will grovel and humiliate himself to no end, who has no pride or dignity, because that is what majima has been doing since '85. but those things are an asset for the lord of the night. he turned what would have been an otherwise impossible-to-recover-from blow to his dignity and self esteem into profits. to regain some modicum of power, some control over his humiliation. calling the lord of the night persona necessary would be an understatement, it was downright lifesaving. and talk about resourceful. my god that man is nothing if not resourceful
#like#i think majimas approach to pride and dignity reveals so much about what he endured in the hole#he was stripped of those things#it wasnt about the pain for him#majima goro#yapping#majeem#majimas greatest asset is his ability to endure pain. it is also his greatest liability#but second only to that is his resourcefulness#i think its almost like a sickness. like. he cant not make use of things. wield them as tools to achieve an end#and he will do this with absolutely anything. his morals stop him from it in most cases but#when it comes to himself and his own pain. nothing is off limits#and that. yknow. helps him as much as it hurts him i think#it disconnects him from his own trauma. its a way of compartmentalizing#but. yknow. necessary for his survival#its just interesting to be able to identify this as his preferred coping mechanism#and all thats to say nothing of mad dog#my analysis#I SUPPOSE
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one of my friends is a biologist & i was really amused hearing some of her stories yesterday because they put into context just how believable newt's kaiju drift is as Shit A Biologist Would Do. like my friend has personally met both a guy who got infected with a botfly larva and didn't do anything to remove it (because he just didn't mind), and another guy who identified a tapeworm species by intentionally exposing himself to it (he had it narrowed down to 2 species and needed to know if it was the one that would infect humans) (it was)
#newton geiszler#unscientific aside#drifting with a kaiju is on a whole different level of dangerous. but still.#he's an expert on them. he knew (thought he knew) what he was doing#can also confirm from personal experience that hermann is extremely accurate as a mathematician#like theres a whole range of personalities in mathematics so that part is just 'hes believable as an eccentric academic'#but mathematicians have A Thing about chalkboards#90% of the math profs i had used chalkboards and the 10% who didnt have chalkboards used powerpoint slides#cant remember seeing anyone use dry erase boards except one poor TA who had to fill in one time and was STRUGGLING#well and profs from my non-math classes#also if you ask math people why they like math i think roughly half of them will say something about the beauty of the universe#also his exhausted sigh when pentecost says 'i need more than a prediction' lmao. buddy i have BEEN there#oh and the fact that they have him doing some computer modeling & that he wrote code for the jaegers#extremely overlapping disciplines. i had mandatory computer science courses alongside algebra and stats and all that#& you need to be able to write at least a little code to do the predictive model stuff hes doing#anyway yeah i love them. best eccentric scientists#ask to tag#parasites
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new rt everyone shes a freak whos pretty sure shes been been given the role of rogue trader as an act of divine intervention to eventually replace the godemperor and bring new glory to the imperium which she thinks is dull and stagnant. dont worry about why she keeps marazhai caged in her trophy room like he's bait its not important and completely irrelevant to the fact ive joke nicknamed her simon thresh. has anyone noticed a lot of slaaneshi demons during warp jumps lately
#warhammer rogue trader#rogue trader#marazhai aezyrraesh#von valancius#if i ever mention about marazhai going insane on the voidship this is what i want you to think of#understimulated predator animal in a cage claws itself open#its worse with her but i do think he generally feels kinda insane anyway#yeah he's tricked into thinking she's tolerable and a fair alternative to the arena then hes taken to the voidship#yrliet [who was the fixation until now] tries to warn him about her before getting her head bashed in infront of him#spirit stone smashed into shards for ritual use body dragged off for vague poor medical knowledge dissection#he is now thinking the arena might not be so bad after all. except he's got no way to back out of this so hes screaming clawing at the wall#shes not giving him up willingly and the only person who could take him by force is calcazar whos not a great alternative tbh!#so he gets to go insane being bait for the chaos god he's already ocd fixated is stealing his soul [on top of normal drukhari fears]#and he's not able to maul anyone else while locked up so its just him dealing with this alone! yay#she doesnt give a shit about pasqal until he gets xenotech in him. then he goes to the trophy room too for study/more grafts#heinrix is most likely captive in the trophy room too with his death faked so he cant snitch#idira Almost got in trouble too for the implant she gets from tervantias but then it breaks and this lass is just angry at her#the Only reason she doesnt feed her to the wolves and kick her out is her door. and she is now trying to force it open with a crowbar#abelard has to deal with her shit and manage it socially. he never thought he'd want to retire but fucking hell when can he quit#she likes jae mostly for her connections. toxic yuri theyre both using eachother#she briefly idolises achilleas for bringing her to commorragh but then finds out he did it under torture and didnt want to. mad at him#he can make it up to her once hes a wrack though [he is going next to marazhai. this will only improve both their mental states]#can you tell this freak is a piece of work yet#shes got screams of the damned volume 3 playing across the ship and shes having a great time but is completely deadpan the whole time#unrelated! you can finally see my idea of marazhai next to a normal fucking human good god. yeah i think hes huge
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