#or jayvik fixing each others braces

[aloonaram]

I desperately need fics of post s2 jayvik or even an au with s2 jayce and s1 viktor where we explore the change in dynamic after jayce suffers his own leg injury in the anomaly. Im sure people have already seen all the parallels and analyses of jayce and viktor’s injuries, but it’s just a concept really special to me,,,,there’s nothing more beautiful than connecting with someone experiencing a similar struggle—it’s just so much stronger because of your ability to truly empathize with the other. And obviously that’s ignoring allll of jayvik’s history. I just think there’s so much potential there to expand on the possibilities of their relationship.

[perfectnarrative]

Hey Guys, quick side note while we're all having mental breakdowns over Jayvik...

Do we think there's some symbolism about Jayce having a leg brace on the opposite side to Viktor's?

I haven't seen anyone talk about it yet, but it's almost like they're replacing each other.

Viktor is now the one everyone looks up to and the 'golden boy' of Zaun who is fixing people and making their lives better with Hextech.

Jayce is the one who has his reservations about Hextech and understands the harm it can cause, and is determined to destroy the core. BRB going feral

[k3nz1ekorn]

Jayvik actor au- Flowers and Tequila (Pt.1-According to Plan)

Character cheat sheet: Viktor-Vladimir/Vlad, Jayce-Joel, Vi-Viola, Cait-Cathrin/Cat, Mel-Miah, Savannah- Sevika, Sky- Skyler, Powder/Jinx-Piper/Hexa, Ekko-Elijah (not all characters listed are in each fic)

Summary: Joal and Vlad finally share a first date, Joel just hopes it will all go according to plan.

A/N: finally another part! Wanted to get part one out for Valentine's Day, especially since I haven't updated this series in a few weeks. This chapter doesn't really get nsfw but it gets a little suggestive towards the end so be aware! Next part will in fact be smut lol

Joel looked at his reflection in the mirror coated inner walls of the elevator, letting the fingers on his free hand come up to fix his hair for the hundredth time since the doors closed. To say he was nervous would be the understatement of the century, today was too important for him to mess it up with bad hair or bad cooking.

Today was his first date with Vlad. The Vlad he’d been pining after since their first day on set, the same Vlad he’d confessed and seemingly been rejected by a few weeks ago, the Vlad that he’d been tricked into re-confessing to in Miah’s trailer after that whole misunderstanding. The Vlad who he’d made out with for an hour after they had finally sorted out their feelings and gotten past their own stupidity. 

He felt his cheeks heat at the memory of it, how Vlad had felt in his arms, under his palms, against his lips. He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath, attempting to calm himself down before he could work himself up. It would be a little more than just embarrassing to show up to a first date with a raging boner, so he had to get it together.

Reopening his eyes he gave himself another once over in the reflective material in front of him. He had chosen something casual, of course, since he was cooking and would have to move around a bit he would need to be comfortable. His shirt was a deep green button up, the buttons being a striking gold against the dark material. His pants were simple black slacks, paired with dark brown leather shoes and a red belt with gold accents around his waist. He had a black jacket covering it all, it was getting a bit chilly these last few days as fall neared. He held a bouquet of bright yellow flowers that he knew were native to the area Vlad had grown up in and a grocery bag full of all the ingredients he needed to make dinner for the two of them. He’d already coordinated what Vlad did and didn’t have from his checklist and had his driver make the stop so he could pick the rest up on his way over. 

The elevator let out a ding, breaking from his thoughts and the doors slid open after what felt like an eternity of nothing. With another deep breath Joel stepped out into the dark brown and beige hallway, Vlad’s apartment number wasn’t far from the main landing so it didn’t take long before he was standing outside the nice wooden door, hyping himself up to knock on it and start what he hoped would be the best date of Vladimir’s life.

“Okay Joel…” He whispered to himself, “there’s no pressure. You know him already, you’ve been friends for months now! Just don’t burn the food and everything will be fine. You’re literally just making tostadas, you make them all the time, just breathe.” Joel looked to the ceiling and shut his eyes for a moment to let any remaining nerves dispel. “He’s just a really handsome guy…who you really want to impress…” With a final deep inhale he brought a hand up and knocked three times against the door. A brief shuffling and light clicking could be heard on the other side and it took no time at all for the door to open and reveal his date for the evening.

Joel did his best to muffle the gasp he let out because wow…Vlad looked breathtaking. It wasn’t hard to do, he always thought Vlad looked good.

He was in a simple red knit sweater, snug but not too tight, and dark brown straight leg pants with his brace situated snugly overtop of it. He seemed to only be wearing slippers over his socks, which made sense as he was in his own home after all. 

His face though…had he always looked this good though? This beautiful? He couldn’t have, if he had Joel was sure he’d have died by now.

Vlad’s hair was styled messily, falling over his glasses perfectly. He was wearing glasses by the way, something Joel knew he needed but had never gotten to see firsthand before. Vlad chose to wear contacts on set most days, making the need for glasses nonexistent; he still kept them in his bag though, that’s how Joel knew he needed them.

He was wearing makeup, something light it looked like, something natural to enhance his already striking eyes. He’d seen the man in a variety of forms, covered in a pound of stage makeup, that makeup he’d worn to the karaoke bar, but this was definitely one of Joel’s favorite looks so far; aside from his bare face of course.

“Joel, hello.” Vlad spoke from the other side of the threshold and Joel realized he’d been staring.Not just staring, but staring with his mouth open, it was only just a bit, but it was definitely noticeable if the amused smirk on Vlad’s face was anything to go off of.

“Hi.”

Smooth dude.

“Would you like to come in then?” Vlad giggled a bit through the end of his sentence, tilting his head to the side as he opened the door wider to invite Joel to enter his home. His giggle sent butterflies through Joel’s stomach, it wasn’t a sound he got to hear often.

“Yes. Thank you, that’s very kind.” Joel stepped through the door and past Vlad, stopping just out of the way to let the door be closed behind him.

He took a second to take the apartment in, it was cozy, that was for sure. The walls of the main area were light gray, those of the kitchen being a light cream color. Vlad’s living room consisted of a plain comfy couch covered with pillows, on each end were small wooden end tables, and behind it was a long shelf in a matching pattern to the end pieces. In front of the couch sat a beautiful mahogany coffee table, intricate patterns swirling up the legs, with books and scripts thrown about on it. The kitchen was a bit more spacious, thank god, large counters and beautiful up to date appliances took up most of the space, a plain white fridge, oven, and dishwasher taking up most of the remaining space after that. There was a breakfast bar with high wooden stools, cushioned in a dark fabric, separating the two areas. To the other side of the kitchen was a simple wooden table and chair set, something with beautiful craftsmanship though. With his family being full of blacksmiths he’d been exposed to other similar trades, so he definitely knew good craftsmanship when he saw it.

“Your apartment is lovely, Vlad.” He spoke as he turned back around to the other man. He was standing just in front of the shut door, cane situated to his left side, posture relaxed. “Oh! Uh-” Quickly Joel took the flowers into his unoccupied hand and pushed them in the direction of a very pleased looking Vlad. “I picked these up for you on the way. I wasn’t sure what kind you liked, but I remembered you-”

“I mentioned these to you when we were running lines with Miah. I remember, yes, but I’m a bit surprised you do.” Vlad interrupted him. His eyes crinkled a bit at the corners and the look that came over his face could only be described as fondness, and Joel’s heart fluttered at the sight.

“Yeah.” 

Another banger line.

“Would you like a tour or anything? A drink perhaps?” Vlad started to move to the kitchen, most likely to find a vase for his new flowers. Joel followed behind him as he thought over his options. 

“There’s no need for a tour, I’ll just ask if I need to go anywhere.” Joel set the bag down on the counter and started to remove his coat, setting it on the stool not too far away on the other side and taking any of the perishable items from the bag to put them away. “Do you mind if I put some of this in the fridge? A drink sounds nice and I don’t want to leave anything out while I get them poured.”

“You may use the fridge, I’d rather not get food poisoning on our first date. What did you have in mind then? For drinks, that is, my supply is a bit limited.” Vlad looked at him from where he was filling a dark blue vase with water. Must be for the flowers, they’d look good in it.

He noted the use of the word first and it made Joel’s chest fill with a bit of warmth, had the other thought about more dates already? He knows he had, both before and after he knew Vlad returned his feelings. He already had a list of date ideas saved to his phone, the beach, restaurants, plays and movies he thought the other might like. 

“I was thinking tequila? If you have tequila, that is, I have a second and third choice if you don’t.”

Joel watched him think for a moment as he turned off the water, moving the vase over to the breakfast bar to put the flowers in it.

“I believe I do have that actually.” He bent at the waist to reach into a cabinet next to him and Joel quickly averted his gaze back to the tomatoes in his hands so as to not oggle the man’s butt. “AHA!” 

“You got it?”

“It seems hosting every now and then does pay off. Viola left this here a while back, it should work well.” Vlad set the tequila down on the counter and turned the labels to Joel for approval. “I don’t typically drink tequila, but I remember you seemed to quite enjoy it the last time we drank together. I shall give it another chance since you seem to favor it so much.” Vlad continued on as he picked out the appropriate glassware. Joel took a second to look over the label, it wasn’t his favorite but it wasn’t a bad brand. He had to get Viola onto his brand, he noted, lest she leave any more.

“That works, let me get those poured and then I can get started on dinner.” Joel finished putting everything he needed into the fridge and walked down the counter to take a comfortable place next to Vlad and flashing a smile.

The next few hours moved with ease, speeding by as the men fell into a comfortable rhythm with one another. The conversation flowed well, no awkward pauses or lags, and once cooking had started there was no shutting Joel up. He had always enjoyed narrating what he was doing, dicing the tomatoes, seasoning the ground beef, even crisping up the tortillas. Vlad clearly loved it though, Joel could tell by the way he seemed to ask questions whenever he moved to a new task or step in the recipe. 

“You’re making homemade guacamole?”

“I brought chips, we need a dip for them.”

“You could have bought one.”

“You’ll never want store bought dip again after tasting my mother’s guac recipe…except maybe the Tostitos queso.”

The food had been delicious of course, Joel knew it would be, and after cleaning up they had moved to the couch with a second round of drinks. One of the Saw movies had been put on in the background, they’d both seen it before so it was good background noise as the conversation flowed on between them.

Joel was seated in the middle of the couch, feet firmly on the floor in front of him as he talked animatedly about another project he’d been working on. His shoes had long been discarded when they moved to the living room and he’d undone the top button of his shirt at some point, his sleeves still rolled up to his elbows from when he had made dinner.

Vlad was leaning against the back of the couch to the side of his date, his good leg bent and resting in front of him on the cushions, his bad one resting with its foot on the carpet. His head was supported by his arm, propped up so he could listen intently to Joel’s ramblings. 

Also to stare at him, he was finally free to do so after all. Joel definitely had been picking up on that throughout the night, that he knew he was free to ogle and admire what he hadn’t been able to before. He had been able of course, but there was no way for him to know that. It was obvious he knew now though, the half lidded eyes, the quiet hums, even the lip bite he’d received earlier when he’d had to stretch out after being hunched over to make their food. 

They were talking about some of the other projects they had been doing on the side during filming breaks and gaps in their schedules, Joel currently on a tangent about a horror role he’d booked.

“Filming doesn’t start for another few months, but my management team thinks it’ll really open doors for me in that genre.”

“I’m sure it will, it sounds promising. Anyone who can pass up having you on their cast list is an idiot.”

Joel gave a shy but excited smile, Vlad had been doing that all night. He’d been showering him with compliments and praise since he started making dinner and honestly it was getting difficult to not react to it. He’d been suppressing a blush since entering the elevator to come up, and now with the drinks in his system he feared it was becoming increasingly obvious.

“Y’know V…I still remember the first time we met.” He leaned back into the couch, tilting his head on its side so he had a clear view of the other. 

Vlad raised a brow and a smirk crawled over his face.

“As do I. You kept me from falling on my ass.”

Joel let out a chuckle, eyes partially closing.

“Yeah…sorry I ran off by the way. Glad I got to see you again though…I’d been hoping to.” Vlad’s expression changed to one of mild surprise. “I thought you looked…really good. I was pretty upset I’d had to run off so fast without a proper introduction.”

“You were upset?” 

Joel let out a laugh at the indignation in Vlad’s voice, he was so adorable.

 “I had to watch the prettiest face I’d ever seen walk away from me. After getting to feel up your arms, and you were upset?” Vlad had sat up properly now, his brows knit together in annoyance, arms gesturing out to emphasize how strong he seemed to feel about Joel’s arms. 

“My arms?”

“YES your arms! Have you seen them? Your hands too- Gods Joel, do you realize what you look like?” 

Vlad seemed to be in disbelief at the mere thought, distraught even. As if the idea of Joel not knowing he was attractive was the end of the world or something.

It was because of this that the blush Joel had tried so hard to fight finally made itself known. He could feel all the heat creeping up his neck and cheeks as he looked away from Vlad to the coffee table. His hands were fiddling with themselves in his lap and his tipsy brain had no time to process when Vlad leant over to pluck one up out of his lap.

His eyes darted back to the other man on the couch, mouth wide open in shock, as he watched Vlad manhandle his appendage.

“Honestly Joel, these things have their own fan club!”

That was a new piece of information. A fan club? For his hands? Who in their right mind would care about that enough to- 

Wait.

Hold the phone.

Joel zeroed in on the way Vlad was inspecting his knuckles as he continued to talk, to shower him with praise, shower his hands with compliment after compliment. It was interesting.

Maybe it was because he was inebriated, or maybe he was just ready to take a risk, but Joel took the moment to intertwine his hand with the one Vlad had been using to hold his own. He carefully watched Vlad’s face as he did so, to make sure he wasn’t overstepping at all. The other hand, previously in his lap, came to rest on top of the clasped hands. His breath was coming out heavier now due to how nervous he was, but his voice came out surprisingly even when he next spoke.

“Are you one of the fans?”

The man across from him stared at their intertwined hands with a blank expression, eyes neutral and mouth set in its usual resting line, however it didn’t last. Vlad’s eyes locked onto his own and a wicked smirk made its way across his face as a light blush overtook him.

Joel memorized how he looked, flushed like that. 

“Hmm…I’m not sure. They do have a lot to like about them, but I’m not sure I could classify myself a fan.” Vlad let his other hand come up to Joel’s chin, tilting it up so they were eye to eye, and leant forward so their faces were mere inches apart. Joel thought he might explode, his face was burning and he nearly whimpered at Vlad’s next words. “But I may be…persuaded…eh?”

Persuaded? He could do that.

[hexname]

Are your fic reqs still open? If so could I please request a jayvik smut oneshot? (Preferably w sub!jayce but like not heavy bdsm sub/dom themes. Like Jayce is just submissive like that, yk?)

Bonus points if it’s a bit silly sometimes, since I imagine this being their first time together (s1 academy days). Like idk they lean to kiss each other but they crash their noses together and then start laughing. Like it’s all cute and kinda fluffy until Viktor praises Jayce and he starts whimpering 💀

Please tell me u see the vision 😭 Anyways yeah :3

Okay this turned out to be much more fluff than smut because it's mostly just foreplay, and it somehow ended up longer than 1k soo, yeah. I'm not sure if I pictured it right. I hope I did at least a decent job. If I had more time to write, I would have given ya'll a long ass oneshot, but I sadly don't, and I hope you can enjoy shorter oneshot of mine!!

➳༻❀✿❀༺➳

“Jayce, calm down, I’m all yours,” Viktor chuckled, feeling a pair of lips kissing every part of his face and neck they possibly could.

“And I’ll make sure you know it,” Jayce said, continuing with the same tempo he did before regardless of Viktor letting him know they have all the time in the world.

When kisses went lower and Jayce realized that Viktor’s shirt was a barrier that he couldn’t keep pulling down further, he hooked fingers under it and pulled it up without hesitation. Viktor allowed him to and went with the flow. That’s how they always are. They always go with the flow of one another, almost always a few steps ahead.

“Don’t you think we should be even? Outside of our lab partnership the same as we are there?” Viktor questioned once Jayce locked his lips on his chest and continued with his journey of marking Viktor in a way that only the two of them would know. Of course, Jayce will be back and even suck a few hickeys into Viktor’s neck if he allows later, to show everyone that Viktor is only his and his only, but that can wait. Now, he wants Viktor to know that every part of him is loved.

“Huh?” Jayce questioned, a bit confused by Viktor’s statement. But when Viktor did the same thing Jayce had done to him, when he hooked fingers under his shirt, he realized what those questions meant. Yeah, they should be even. Jayce should pull his shirt off and let Viktor see him as much as Viktor allowed him to see.

So, he did, in one swift motion. However, unlike Viktor’s shirt which he put aside and which stayed on the bed, his ended on the floor. He couldn’t care less if it went in some dusty corner. The only thing he cares about at the moment is Viktor, and Viktor only.

Kisses went lower, landing on Viktor’s stomach as Jayce gently held his leg up and unclipped the leg brace in two places, knowing how to do so since he made that same leg brace that Viktor had been wearing for so long now. With nothing more to keep the pants in place, he took them off just as swiftly as he did his own a moment later.

Viktor expected Jayce to go at it, to tease or simply just give in, and yet… Kisses continued, from his thigh to his damaged knee that Jayce would always take into consideration even if Viktor didn’t want him to. When they first started working together, it took Jayce a month to not jump and offer to do simple tasks for Viktor that Viktor claimed he could do himself. Even if he loves Jayce’s way of showing affection, sometimes it can feel quite annoying, especially when everyone else treats him like he can’t do anything that requires him to go from one place to another.

So when those kisses were pressed against his leg, Viktor couldn’t keep but comment, in the softest way he could, “I’m terribly sorry to inform you, but kissing my leg will not fix it.” Because it won’t. Perhaps kisses would work when he’s mad at him, but the same kisses won’t heal something as fucked up as his disability, no matter how bad Jayce wished them to.

Jayce wasn’t bothered, “I’m not kissing what needs to be fixed. I’m kissing what I love.”

The fact that Jayce said it without thinking, just straight-up answered in a heartbeat, shocked Viktor more than anything else did today. And today, a lot of things shocked him; Jayce’s clumsy confession, Jayce’s kiss that came out of nowhere, and Jayce’s way of leading him to bed. However, he’s not complaining. Everything that happened, happened as he imagined it would.

Before Viktor could say anything that would get Jayce to shush him up, he decided to shut him up himself by requesting, “Come and kiss my lips then.”

And Jayce did as told, just as he does every time, in the lab and in their relationship, just an hour ago the friendship that was destined to end and create space for something with much more affection and intimacy.

“You have no idea how much I waited for this,” Jayce mumbled against his lips between two urgent kisses that Viktor had already gotten used to. It wasn’t hard. Quite the opposite. It felt good, felt right. That’s all that was needed for him to go with the flow.

“Hm, tell me about it,” Viktor mumbled back with a smile on his lips as he gently nudged Jayce’s boxers down. In all truthfulness, Viktor wasn’t waiting for anything, was just hoping something would come sooner or later. He got lucky today. Very lucky.

As soon as Viktor pulled those boxers down and freed Jayce’s cock, both of their breaths started to become uneven. Yet Jayce was asked to talk. And he would consider himself a fool if he didn’t; “It’s been hard keeping my focus around you from time to time.” A confession in a whisper, a whisper so sweet and desperate that Jayce melting got Viktor to melt under his breath too.

“It has been very hard for you to take notes since all you were doing was drawing me, hm?” Viktor whispered in the softest way he could. He isn’t blaming Jayce for slowing their work from time to time, quite the contrary. It’s intruding. However, he does hope that giving Jayce what he wanted all along and loving him would get him to focus more on their working hours. When they get home, when there are just two of them, Jayce can do whatever he wishes to.

It was fascinating how even when they weren’t actively working, they would come up with ideas and talk about them, share their thoughts, and sometimes even write down what they realized could work to try out later in the lab. Both of them would be lying if they said this wasn’t something that got them to bond and think about each other every time Hextech was in question. And both of them would be lying if they said that each other’s intelligence didn’t play a part in their attraction.

“You’re just giving me more material to work with and more sights to draw this way,” Jayce said back, feeling Viktor’s hand on his arm that slowly glided down to his hand, initiating touch, wanting Jayce to make them even once again, to take the boxers off just the same he took Jayce’s.

And Jayce listened, hooked a finger under them, and pulled them down. That action was accompanied by his breath becoming much more unsteady, by his heart thumping much more than it did before, and by nervousness that came like a wave. A wave that held so much more than just anxiety; there was excitement, a fear of disappointing Viktor, an intimate feeling that he hadn’t felt with anyone ever before. So many emotions yet with the right person, Jayce didn’t mind.

“I am glad you are signing them since you are signing me as yours at the same time,” Viktor whispered, with one hand took Jayce’s once again and let him know that he was ready, and with another held the back of his neck and pulled Jayce as close as he could, just to press a kiss on his neck and add, “Now claim me. Claim me forever. Like I am your one and only.”

“You are my one and only,” Jayce breathed out, with his left hand took the small bottle of body oil that Viktor pulled up from God knows where, and brought it to his mouth, just to use his teeth and open it since the right hand was busy glazing over Viktor’s abdomen, here and there making contact with his cock, resulting in Viktor being affected just the same he was; now breathing heavily.

The preparation turned out to be better than Jayce expected. Both of them weren’t sure what they were doing, yet they knew how they should do it. That resulted in some clumsiness, more on Jayce’s side than Viktor’s. Out of lack of experience, he has been asking Viktor if he’s okay and if it feels good every minute or so, which was, if Viktor was asked, a bit much, yet still cute regardless.

To make it up to Jayce, Viktor set his attention on him, wrapped his palm around his cock, and gently stroke him as he worked him open. Not to lie, Jayce’s breaths and low grunts, the same as the shivering of his, got Viktor to relax and loosen up quite quickly.

In no time, they were kissing as Jayce aligned his cock with his entrance, gently pushing in and whispering sweet nothings into Viktor’s mouth. From ‘You’re beautiful’ over ‘You feel so good’ to ‘Is that okay?’

Everything was okay. More than okay. It felt great, felt perfect, felt like a dream that neither of them wanted to wake up from. Luckily, this was way too real to be a dream. Every single one of their touches was way too lucid to be one of their dreams.

When Jayce pushed another inch in after the tip entered, the breaths of both of them fell so short that they had to take a moment to adjust. Viktor had to adapt to Jayce’s width, and Jayce had to adjust to Viktor’s body inviting him further in. It was just so perfect, so intimate. He’s always been the type for physical touch so, now, that he has more than he thought he would, he had no idea how to act or what to do. That resulted in him questioning once again, “Is that good? Am I doing well?”

“You are doing more than good, my golden boy,” Viktor breathed out, “Now be a good boy, and don’t keep from giving me what you can. I am not made of glass to break.”

And when Jayce shivered at that pet name, when he pushed in much more confidently as Viktor ordered, when moans started to spill out of Jayce’s mouth, uncontrollably loud and desperate ones, Viktor realized how much that pet name had an effect on Jayce. God, he’ll abuse the shit out of those two words now that he knows. He’ll have Jayce melting over him, under him, anywhere he wishes with those two simple words.

They have so much more to explore. Not just in bed, but in their relationship overall. There are so many things that they wish to do together and will do later on, and so many unanswered questions that they would ask each other and get the answers to.

Their story began years ago, yet with this, with their confessions, the next chapter opened. A chapter that they will write together rather than separately like they did the first one, being each other’s crushes and all. Now, that their love isn't separatable, they will write together, just like they wrote all their notes together from the beginning.

[padawan-crevette]

You know how sometimes a piece of media, or even a specific character, will happen just at the right moment?

Well you see, the thing is, sometimes you'll only realize after days or weeks (or months, years even) of blissful brainrot the impact it's actually had on you. This is what happened to me after the Arcane finale. (It's all good things, I promise. Putting this under the cut because it's a whole lot of rambling.)

Lately I've been interacting with this fandom (and especially the jayvik side of it) more than I have with any other in the last few years, and it's mostly in the wake of that finale. More specifically the jayvik storyline. Especially the last talk Jayce and Viktor have. I keep talking about disability and internalized ableism, about both of them taking care of each other, and about how Viktor in s1 is singlehandedly responsible for me finding a mobility aid that works with my fucked joints. And yet it took until today for me to realize the impact it's all had beyond this, beyond the sheer love and delight I've felt looking at all the good content out here.

Winter is hard, cold weather makes my joint pain worse than usual, but since it lasts for months I tend to reevaluate my baseline and push too far too often. I forget how much pain is too much, I forget that thinking "I should be able to do this" doesn't mean "I should actually do this" or "I am physically capable of doing this". Even when I want to do the thing. I'll remind my partners and friends to rest when they need, but forget that it also applies to me, that just because I may need some form of rest every day it doesn't make it any less real or necessary.

I look at Viktor and say "his disability does not make him any less worthy of love", I think of Jayce fixing his leg brace and go "he does it because he cares and out of love", I listen to what Jayce says and think "he's right, Viktor needs healing but not fixing", I look at Viktor realizing he didn't need to change to be a beautiful person. And then after days of rotating these two in my mind like a sparkly rotisserie chicken, today a coworker very naturally and very kindly takes my disability into account and I catch myself thinking "I don't deserve this, I should be able to do it anyway, if I can make myself walk there it doesn't matter if I'm in pain, nobody sees the pain so it's irrelevant". And it's like everything grinds to a halt.

Stupid jayvik brainrot making me sit down and take a long hard look at ableist thought patterns I hadn't even noticed. And I say this with all the love in my heart, truly.

I'm not quite sure this has a point beyond just wanting to share, but I'm feeling a whole lot of big emotions about it and I think that's pretty fitting considering what caused it in the first place.

Sometimes a character tricks you into aggressively loving yourself through them, and really, I think that's pretty great.