#but he gets to carry around a giant bazooka

[icycoldninja]

Hi!!! Thank u for doing my Persephone request it’s really 👌

Can I request another one with the same four bois with fem reader who’s like Laios (he’s a character from Delicious in dungeon) she has a big strong appetite for monsters even demons. Whenever they go out to hunt, she always insisted on going along and she carries a big backpack with cooking supplies

They didn’t understand why at first until when she successfully killed a demon and cook it right in front of them, and even offers a plate to them. They’d be reluctant at first obviously 😂 but when they took a bite and it’s actually really delicious

— 🍊

Yes, absolutely!

Sparda boys + V x Laios-like!Reader headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-You know this man loves to eat; he's got the appetite of ten men.

-Now, he found it a bit strange that you take this giant rugsack full of cooking supplies with you whenever you guys go on missions, but he didn't question it. After all, he carries around a magic hat and two giant bazookas, so who is he to judge?

-The literal last thing he expected was to see you cooking a demon you just killed over an open fire, humming a tune and seasoning it like it was just a steak.

-He was a little repulsed when you offered him some, but being a man who can't refuse food, regardless of it's origins, Dante eventually accepted your offer.

-Dante discovered that the way you cook demon meat makes it the tastiest dish ever. He loved it so much, he started bringing demons home for you to roast.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil only eats the finest of meals, that is, meals you prepare for him.

-Since he can't cook for himself and only trusts you to prepare food for him, he will readily eat anything you make.

-He was rather confused when you offered him a plate of demon meat you just cooked up in the middle of the road, but he trusted your cooking and took the food.

-To his surprise, grilled demon meat was delicious. Vergil had to admit, when prepared by your skilled hands, it was better than gourmet meat.

-He might ask you to make it again the next time you go on missions together.

□ Nero □

-Nero is a very picky eater who, to this day, will only eat chicken nuggets, macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes with lots of cream, and alphabet spaghetti O's.

-He doesn't like fancy foods, no matter what people say they taste like, and won't eat anything dubbed "gourmet".

-He thought your giant backpack with cooking utensils was ridiculous, until he saw what it was for.

-You slayed and killed a demon right before his eyes, then cooked it. Nero couldn't believe what he was seeing, why were you cooking a disgusting demon?!

-Then you gave him a plate of the demon meat, which he tried, and thought it was not bad, at all. He likes it, despite his picky brain trying to tell him it's gross.

● V ●

-V is open minded and ready to eat pretty much anything, the only problem is that he doesn't get the opportunity to eat often.

-He appreciates you cooking for him and readily eats everything you prepare for him.

-He saw your giant backpack with cooking utensils and thought it was silly, until he saw what you did with it.

-You killed a demon and began cooking it over an open fire, quite happily too, as if you did this every day.

-Upon eating your creation, V had to admit that grilled demon had to be the best meat he'd ever tasted.

[ovrtimelove]

✦ㅤPHIGHTING HAEYAJI...? // BOOSEOKSOON as PHIGHTERS! due to my recent addiction to the game phighting! when my friend made ocs for them, i ended up making a character. then i played the game. needless to say, it's pretty fun, even though it's a mix of the splatoon games and valorant. at least i have something to play to let off steam post-exams!! /jj ㅤ anyways, i thought of assigning phighters to the entirety of svt, but... i didn't really want to leave this one unfinished. 2024, i am a changed bitch. and i'm kinder to myself- so we're starting with BSS for now!! (but before anything else, i'm basing these off the phighters i've played ingame and my experience against/as them.) now without further ado, let's get into it. PHIGHTING- i mean, FIGHTING HAEYAJI ✦ㅤ WHO?: seventeen, kpop boy group ✦ㅤ GENRE: headcanons, crack

BOO SEUNGKWAN would be... ROCKET! (and theoretically, SUBSPACE!) he would be so fucking happy to start shooting shit tbh /JJJ rocket is a ranged phighter who... well, shoots shit! this phighter carries around a big ol' bazooka-looking weapon, and is good for crowd control. like seriously. i've died so many times to rocket mains. but you're super fucked when you have to get away from the opposing team, bc rocket is canonically squishy!! kwannie, upon first playing rocket, forgets that he isn't melee and goes right into the battle. during the intermission, he checks the ability descriptions and has an "oh shit" moment. THEN he gets a strat, which is staying still and shooting from afar. only ever uses his phinisher/ult when under pressure i think... but thank god it looks cool!! aabdeawhe but the thought of him playing subspace though, i think would be rlly silly. like, iirc subspace's phinisher is some vortex void thing that sucks in other players (idk if the user is immune). he'd absolutely ENJOY using that fucking thing, but will go back to rocket bc he claims that he can't see what subspace is even doing whenever he does any of his abilities.

LEE SEOKMIN would be... BIOGRAFT and BAN HAMMER! i hate biograft and ban hammer mains all the same. i keep dying to them because i'm a loser and i suck! /j but i think seokminnie would love playing them. biograft is a double-wielder and is fairly fast! you'd get easy kills if you play this phighter correctly/long enough, minnie probably does accidental kill steals whenever playing biograft... (i'd literally hate to go against him, im not afraid to start saying "i hate biograft") meanwhile, ban hammer has this absurdly giant hammer (lmao) and swings that bitch around. bad for when you're trying to move around while fighting, but at least he hits hard! probably played this one first before playing biograft, because woah! big hammer! heavy tank! more time on the frontlines AND damage-dealing! (i hate banhammer mains but i'd let him kill me if it made him happy)

KWON SOONYOUNG would be... MELEE PHIGHTERS and MEDKIT! literally struggled to settle on one melee phighter, but i figured that he'd sometimes shuffle through all of them. like either before a match or mid-match (yes you can do that), he changes depending on what looks cooler, or what would be more convenient/easy/advantageous. i think his more used one would be skateboard tho, solely because you can probably also do actual skateboard tricks. if he and dokyeom are on the same team, he accidentally steals ban hammer /hj. he's silly like that!! medkit is a bit of a special case though. probably plays during the rare moments where he goes against woozi. yeah, he'd play the game as well and mains medkit, bc uji on his own is already "i may be a healer, but..."!! he's p good at it. hoshi, on the other hand, only goes for medkit solely bc he reminds him OF uji. like,,, the exhausted look? the slight affectionate jabs towards his team? the subtle warnings that's just confirmation that he gives a shit? ujicore.

©ㅤ lookingforweiss '24, no reposting anywhere.

[wolfoftonight]

Character Design for Our Terrarium. Dark gets combined with the Cyborg, which was a rather interesting experience for him. He technically has cybernetic parts normally, but certainly not ones this obvious clunky.

[emmys-grimoire]

Lesson 65 Summary & Analysis, Part 1

The new guys finally arrive!

This is the best lesson of the season thus far, buuuut that’s not saying much.

The Story

We open at breakfast. The brothers are their usual extra selves, and Mammon mentions the Devildom Sports Festival coming up. Apparently Diavolo has decided to make it an annual thing after it was such a hit last time (I think they're alluding to one of the early events).

The last card we got implies our next trial involves this festival. We try to catch up to Diavolo to discuss the details with him, but we’re given the option to carefully enter the council room... which means there’s something up, because why else would you not just barge in?

Sure enough, if you decide to scope out the area, you manage to avoid the bucket prank that Thirteen had decided to greet you with. We finally get the new student introductions!

Thirteen is the first one we’re introduced to. Naturally, she’s very rude. Then gets mad at you for being rude and not immediately thinking to shake her hand later. Stellar. She’s very fond of trying to use Looney Tunes traps on everyone within the vicinity, apparently.

Thirteen is the reaper who owned the cave we visited in S2. You know, the one Solomon stole the Night Dagger from? She doesn't like him, if you recall. She's still sore about that.

This suggests that Reapers are a unique race, not simply an assigned role. Which makes me wonder what kind of world they hail from; so far we’ve only been introduced to three realms.

Diavolo proceeds to introduce Raphael. You get the option to mistake him for Michael or Uriel. It’s nice to see they haven’t completely forgotten about the latter, but asking if he’s the former gets you an amusing line.

Raphael does not show the same kind of deference Barbatos shows Diavolo lol.

It's hard being a rabid Lucifer simp.

Otherwise, so far he's been pretty withdrawn and bland.

Diavolo has decided to make our next trial trying to coordinate with Thirteen and Raphael as a team in the upcoming festival. Thirteen and Raphael are polar opposites in personality, so we have our work cut out for us.

Thirteen gets up to her trap hijinks again and tries to spring one on Raphael. It's foiled and Mephisto ends up caught in the crossfire instead. Apparently she just whips out a web-shooting bazooka in the middle of the meeting? Idk. She's very extra in general.

Guess what? We're doing a scavenger hunt again! Sort of.

We fade to the garden after the chaos abates. The teams are divided as follows:

Luke, Belphegor, Leviathan

Satan, Asmo, Beel

Mammon, Simeon, Barbatos

Lucifer, Solomon, Mephisto

Luke is stressing out about his team because Belphie and Levi are about as coordinated as you'd expect them to be (not at all).

Naturally, Satan has certain priorities.

We’re handed out our directives via flier.

Leviathan sees his team’s directive and immediately wigs out. He runs off and leaves the flier behind. Raphael doesn’t want to peek at it (he’s a respectful angel) but Thirteen goes right ahead. Apparently they have to find "someone Leviathan loves". A shame: if he didn't run off, his team would have won in five seconds.

So does he just... casually carry one around? On his person? These things are just giant walking security risks.

We retreat into the classroom to strategize how to steal Solomon's grimoire. Raphael warns us that Solomon is on Lucifer's team, so it's going to be doubly tough. He suggests they sow discord among his brothers to distract him, which admittedly isn't a terrible idea.

We'll have to find out how well this scheme of ours works next lesson.

The subnode involves a chess game between Lucifer and Diavolo. Lucifer requests Diavolo adjust the team roster so Simeon is on his team, but Diavolo refuses, telling him it'd be unfair to the other teams. He then correctly deduces that Lucifer is making the request because he's concerned about Simeon, who apparently no longer has his angel powers, and wants to protect him. Lucifer lies and denies it, of course, then checkmates Diavolo when he's distracted. Diavolo whines and demands a rematch. It's cute.

The analysis portion requires more screenshots, so you can find part 2 here.

Predictions

The next lesson will be us trying to deprive Solomon of his grimoire as part of our trial. This lesson is set up to plot more than an actual plot itself. If the writing is good, our biggest challenge will be making 13 and Raphael care enough about our success when our first attempt is foiled and they're tempted to just give up. I think Thirteen's spite towards Solomon will keep her invested, not so convinced Raphael will continue to go along.

I'm not sure how sure I'm willing to bet on good writing thus far, though.

They've finally hinted to what's going on with Simeon in a normal chapter mode! But I don't expect much else from him in 66. Maybe we'll figure out he's lost his powers during the competition, but... he's never used them before this point. What difference would it typically make?

[ectoentity]

Warped Mirror

Decided to write something based vaguely on the “Spork AU” idea. Instead of Episode 1 Danny meeting Episode 50+ Danny, though, I was curious about a Danny who never became Phantom meeting one who had. This first part is just establishing Human!Danny’s world.

I’ll post it to AO3 when I have the rest of it finished.

---

Three kids stood before a giant machine in the shape of a door. It should have been humming along and glowing green, with a great hole to another world in the middle. Instead, it was cold and silent. 

“They spent years working on it,” Danny explained, “and then nothing. Mom and Dad have been moping in their room all day.”

Tucker looked around at the portal and the hodgepodge of computer parts attached to it. “It’s probably a loose wire somewhere. I’m sure they’ll figure it out.”

“In the meantime, this would make for an awesome picture,” Sam said with a smile. She held up her polaroid camera. 

“Oh no, you’re not getting me anywhere near that,” Tucker immediately walked away from the portal.

“Come on! When they get this thing working we’ll never be allowed near it. Besides, it’s not like it’s going to do anything right now.”

“Then why don’t you get over there and let one of us take the picture?” Tucker asked.

“Because neither of you know anything about lighting or framing a shot. Please?” When she saw that Tucker was not going to budge, she looked over at Danny with wide, pleading eyes. 

He looked anxiously at the portal. So far none of his parents’ inventions had really worked, but that didn’t mean that they weren’t dangerous. Still, Sam was right. It was pretty cool, and getting a picture with the thing could be a good way to keep a memory.

“Yeah, okay, let me put on a jumpsuit in case there’s a live wire or something.”

Ten minutes later he was suited up in the white-and-black safety jumpsuit his parents had made for him. It wasn’t really a hazardous materials outfit - there was no full hood or respirator, or even goggles. It was made of something that was supposed to repel ectoplasm and certain chemicals that his parents used and was insulated against minor shocks, so it would have to do. 

“Oh, no no. I’m not taking your picture while you’re wearing that,” Sam announced. Danny was about to argue, but she reached over and pulled the sticker of his dad’s face off of the suit. “Now you’re good.”

Danny laughed. “Good thinking, Sam. Wouldn’t want to be immortalized in your photos with that on me.” He walked up to the portal. It was a massive piece of machinery, nearly six feet in diameter and deep enough to fit a car. He paused at the entrance. It was hard to imagine it as anything other than a creepy machine in the basement. If it had worked, it would have opened into a whole other world. 

Tucker, meanwhile, was watching while anxiously tapping a foot. He had expected Danny to give in to Sam’s pleas. He was so predictable and utterly clueless. One of these days they would both realize that they were both desperately crushing on each other and they’d-

There was something plugged into the wall. Tucker wasn’t sure what it was, but he had a bad feeling about it. 

“Hold up!” he shouted. Tucker went over and unplugged the cord from the wall outlet, and checked around for more outlets just in case. When he didn’t find anything else, he called back, “Okay, I think it’s alright now.”

“Good thinking, Tuck,” Danny’s voice echoed in the portal. “Hey, Sam, is this good?”

Sam set up her shot. “Looks great! Just hold there a second.” She counted down before the flash went off. The camera whirred and produced a polaroid. “Lemme take a couple more,” she said before swiftly doing so from slightly different angles. “That should be good!”

Danny started to walk out of the portal. Something caught his foot. He tripped and fell backwards, flailing his arms wildly in hopes that he would catch something. His right hand hit the side of the portal. It stabilized him for a second, but then the wall clicked. Danny stared down at his hand, a chill lancing up his spine. He hadn’t hit the wall. His hand was resting on a button marked “ON.”

“Oh my god,” he blurted.

“Danny? Are you okay?” Sam called. He could hear them both scrambling toward the portal. 

“I’m good! I just tripped!” Danny got out of the portal as fast as he could. “My parents put the on/off buttons on the inside! If Tucker hadn’t unplugged it…” All three teens stared at the portal. Danny could have died, just for tripping over a stupid wire.

Finally Tucker gulped and broke the silence. “Want to see if your parents can get it to work now?”

Danny shook himself out of it. “Yeah! I’ll go ask if they forgot about that.”

They all but ran out of the lab.

---

The Fenton RV sped down the street, ghost alarms blaring. In the back, Danny got his weapons together as quickly as he could with all the jostling and swerving. They’d let Dad drive; time was of the essence.

“A level six!” Jack crowed from the driver’s seat. “Maybe even a seven! How long’s it been since we saw one like that?”

“About four months,” Danny grumbled. He still vividly remembered when the town had been drawn into the Ghost Zone and besieged with an army of skeleton constructs. He was not looking forward to a repeat of that hell. The Fenton Blaster in his hands whined as he attached the power source. 

“We’ll have to be careful, Jack,” Mom cautioned as she always did. “We don’t have the Ecto-Skeleton this time.”

“Are you sure we shouldn’t call in the Guys in White?” Danny asked. They might not be the best ghost hunters, but they did have a lot more firepower.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Danny! I’m sure we can take care of this before they even notice something’s happening. Besides, your mom and I are still dealing with the paperwork from the last time they showed up.”

Danny shuddered. He was extremely glad that he didn’t have to deal with that aspect of ghost hunting. 

His dad pulled up to the mall with a loud honk of the horn and squealing tires. Danny and his mom ran out, blasters held at the ready. Dad backed them up with one of the Fenton Bazookas. 

The mall was already evacuated. Some people milled around outside, anxiously talking amongst themselves. In the year and a half since the ghosts had started attacking the town, people had gotten frustratingly complacent about them. The invasion a few months back had shown most people just how dangerous they could be, but a stubborn few always were more concerned with getting good pictures than their own safety. 

“Make way!” Mom shouted. “We’re here to take care of the ghost!” The crowd at least did part for them. A few people shouted at them. Some of it was words of support. A few tried to describe what they had seen - it was green, it was wearing all white, it was terrifying. Only a few made jokes or jeered at the Fentons as they passed. That was annoying, but it was a hell of a lot better than it had been a year ago. 

The deserted mall was an eerie sight. Everyone had left in a hurry, leaving lights on and store music still echoing through empty halls. The Fentons’ footsteps seemed far too loud. The weirdest part was that everything seemed intact. When the technology ghost raided the mall he usually left trails of rubble and discarded packaging everywhere. The box ghost would leave piles of everything that he dumped out of his beloved boxes. Various other ghosts had attacked the mall in the past, and they almost always left signs of their passing. Why was this one different?

“Come out, ghost!” Dad shouted, his voice easily carrying through the empty mall. “Let’s make this quick!”

“Curious.” The voice was quiet, but had the same unnatural echo of all ghosts. Danny held up his blaster, but he couldn’t tell where the voice had come from. Beside him, his mom turned on her miniature Fenton Finder. It beeped alarmingly quickly. 

“Two o’clock!” Mom shouted as she fired. Danny was only a moment slower, trying to fire a little ahead. The blasts didn’t connect with anything. 

“I mean no harm,” the ghost said. Its voice was way too close for comfort. Danny turned to his right and shot where he thought it was, but he still missed. 

“What do you want?” Danny asked. He didn’t really care. No matter what their obsessions were, ghosts only ever wanted to spread chaos and pain. Still, sometimes he could distract them by talking back. 

The ghost appeared in front of them. It was tall, with dark, green-tinged skin and a lighter beard. Its eyes glowed a soft yellow. A white robe and hood covered most of its body, rippling in a nonexistent breeze. 

A green beam from the Fenton Bazooka blasted towards the ghost. Its torso split apart to allow the beam to go through it. Danny grimaced. It was so gross when they did that. He followed his dad’s lead and started shooting the ghost. The ghost blocked all of his and Mom’s shots with a series of small green shields. 

“This is entirely unnecessary,” the ghost huffed. It had the audacity to look bored. 

“Then why not just go back to the Ghost Zone and leave us alone?” Danny shouted, annoyed. He ran off to the side, flanking the ghost. It finally started dodging the ectoblasts. If anything, though, the ghost just looked amused. 

“Oh, I shall. First, though…” The ghost flung its hand out towards Danny. He winced, anticipating the burn of ectoblasts. He took a step back and his foot sank. With a shout, he fell into the glowing green portal that had opened right behind him.

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

A New Challenger Approaches!

In the streets of Inkopolis, Meggy & Ashley are duking it out against a cloaked foe. The reason is unknown, but the battle is unbelievably fierce. Meggy throws out a Splat Bomb at him, but he fires an energy bullet that vaporizes it.

Ashley casts a spell that is intended to freeze the foe. Instead, he teleports away, but Ashley summons a leviathan-like demon that opens its mouth ready to eat. However, the foe instead fires a powerful laser that vaporizes the leviathan.

Meggy fires an Inkstrike on the foe, and Ashley summons a massive bull-like demon. The foe swipes his hand in a slashing motion, which results in both the Inkstrike and the demon being destroyed.

While both the girls are tuckered out, the foe doesn’t have a scratch on him. 

Meggy: You gotta be kidding me!

Foe: You can’t be serious. All of this over you thinking I made fun of your boyfriends?

Meggy: You’re damn right we’re serious!

Ashley: You mocked Lucas’s might!

Meggy: You also said Ness’s power can only tickle people!

Foe: All I did was say that maybe they’re not as strong as you think they are. They’re powerful, but not THAT powerful.

Ashley: You smug little…

Meggy: You said it again!

The foe looks at his hand. On his hand is a timer that currently reads 23:18. The foe then looks at his phone. 

Foe: Look, I’d love to stay and fight you two charming ladies for a few more seconds, but I’m on a time-limit, and I don’t have a lot of it left to waste fighting you.

Meggy: As if!

Ashley: Your insults have lessened your time, you wretch! I hate to break it to you, but your time has officially run out!

Foe: You sure about that?

Ashley: I’ve never felt more positive about anything more than my love for Lucas in my entire life!

Ashley angrily raises her wand while Meggy pulls out a Killer Wail. The foe raises his hands. Using her magic, Ashley zaps the foe with a powerful thunderbolt while Meggy unleashes the Killer Wail. When the dust finally settles, the foe is still completely unharmed.

Meggy: What the?!

Ashley: But-but how?!

Foe: Wow. Your most powerful attacks didn’t even hurt. But they both were rather impressive.

Meggy and Ashley growl.

Foe: By the way, Meggy, was it?

Meggy: Huh?

Foe: I liked that sound-based ink attack you used on me. 

The foe raises his hand in a snap-ready formation.

Foe: Wanna see my version?

The foe snaps his hands, and a giant speaker appears. The speaker blares a loud song that assaults the girls’ eardrums. After the speaker dazes them for a while, the foe’s eyes twinkle. Meggy and Ashley suddenly find themselves picked up by a massive tornado made of fire. After the whirlwind carries them up for a few seconds, it suddenly stops and slams them back down on the floor.

Meggy and Ashley try to get back up, but the beating was ultimately too much for them to handle, and they both pass out. The foe looks at his hand to see the timer, which vanishes. With a satisfied sigh, the foe takes off his cloak, revealing him to be a boy with spiky orange hair wearing a sleeveless shirt with a funnel-shaped collar and an indigo stripe outlined with gold going down the middle, a yellow sweatband on his left wrist, and white shorts held up by a loose-fitting belt, as well as a pin deck that has a Blue Blood Burns Blue pin, a Dope Line pin, a Lil’ Terror Bazooka pin, a Onmyo pin, a Tin Pin Bahamut pin, and a Top Gear pin. His shoes are black with an indigo stripe outlined in gold, similar to the style of his shirt. And to finish the outfit off, he is wearing a pair of indigo wireless headphones and has a white MP3 player around his neck.

Foe: Man…talk about noise.

NEKU SAKURABA ENTERS THE GAME!

[razieltwelve]

The Final Boss (FGO x Final Rose)

“Don’t relax just yet,” Diana warned. “I don’t think she’s really the final boss!”

“What do you mean?” Mash asked. “She has to be. Who else would the Knights of the Round Table serve?”

Diana adjusted her bright orange cape and even brighter orange wizard’s hat. “It’s just a hunch, but everything up until now, even the defeats of the knights, feels like it’s been planned to perfection. It makes me nervous.”

“We don’t have a choice.” Fujimaru bit his lip. “We have to keep going. Can you go any faster?”

“Yeah.” Diana patted the scales beneath them. “Come on, Strangles, pick up the pace!”

The colossal snake, easily the size of a city, upped his pace, racing toward the heart of the Singularity. He was almost there when a blinding beam of pure power rocketed toward them. The snake moved with surprising speed, somehow avoiding the attack.

Goddess Rhongomyniad appeared before them, her lance held loosely to one side. “A very capable evasion for such a large creature. Still, I won’t miss again. There’s simply too much of him to hit.”

Diana jabbed one finger at her. “Don’t think it’ll be that easy!” She glanced back at Fujinmaru. “We should spread out, so she can’t get all of us at once. I’ll try to keep her occupied. Wait for an opening.”

“How do you plan to do that?” Fujimaru asked as they leapt off Strangles.

“With a weapon surpassing any other.” Diana folded her hands over her chest. “A weapon wielded by a true hero out of legend!” She raised one hand and shook her fist at the sky. “Smite my enemies! Come forth, Crab of the End Times!”

The goddess wasn't the only one who gawked at the sight of a giant crab appearing out of thin air and waving around an equally giant knife.

“...” The goddess blinked. “I... did not expect that!”

“Get her!” Diana screamed. “You too, Strangles. “We’ve got to take her -”

There was a flash of light, and her nigh-invincible crab was simply erased from existence.

“Uh oh.” Diana turned to the others as Scrambles slithered back. “Master, I think you should start running.”

That caught Fujimaru’s attention. Ever since he’d met Caster!Diana, the little girl had never advocated taking a backward step. Her response was to simply summon more and more of her ‘friends’ to smash her way through any and all opposition. To her credit, it had worked wonders so far, so the the fact she was advocating a retreat meant they were in trouble.

“Why? What’s going on?” The small smirk on the goddess’s face only increased his unease.

“You know how I’m the most awesome kid there ever was?” Diana asked. “Well... kids have to come from somewhere, and my mom was pretty awesome in her day. She was also really, really good at planning stuff. If she’s turned evil...”

“Evil?” A pink-haired woman in crystalline armour appeared. “I am doing what is necessary. Saving humanity is not possible without sacrifice. In the cold calculus of survival, there can be no room for sentimentality.”

“We are in so much trouble,” Diana gulped. “That’s an evil version of my mom. You can think of her as... a kind of a mix between a Saver and a Ruler Class but turned up to about a quadrillion out of ten or something.”

Saviour stared down at Diana. “You’re not giving me enough credit.” She raised her sword. “Surrender or die.”

“Hmph.” Diana huffed. “You might be an evil version of my mom, but I guess we’ve got no choice.” She looked at Fujimaru. “This’ll probably be goodbye, but try to deal with the Lion King while I’m distracting my mom. Strangles, stay with them and do what he says. I’ll need a command seal too, if you don’t mind.”

Fujimaru nodded. “All right.” Of all his Servants except Mash, Diana was probably the one he trusted the most. He’d summoned her Berserker form in Fuyuki before stumbling across her Caster form in this singularity. Somehow, her memories had carried over, and she’d proven her cunning and power time and time again. Kid or not, she was truly a worthy Heroic Spirit. “Good luck.”

Diana looked up at her mom. “You know, the biggest difference between you and the real version of my mom was that she never let go of her emotions. She never forgot the power of friendship.” Her power surged. “So I guess I’ll have to remind you.” She smirked. “Only a kid as crazy as me could ever use something like... GARY WORLD!”

Diana’s reality marble expanded, dragging her and Saviour into the world’s friendliest, funnest, and most deadly theme park.

“So,” Goddess Rhongomyniad said, raising her lance at Fujimaru, Strangles, and his other Servants. “Shall we continue?”

X    X     X

Author’s Notes

This is an amusing take on the idea that if Diana could be summoned as a Servant on the side of good, would it be possible for the others to be summoned as their evil selves.

This is the Camelot Singularity with the key difference being that Empress!Saviour (the lawful evil one) has allied with Goddess Rhongomyniad. The Diana here is Caster!Diana who has two commonly used Noble Phantasms, Army of Awesomeness and I Think I Can. Army of Awesomeness allows Diana to summon her countless animal friends and enemies in the forms she imagined them (e.g., she always imagined Strangles as a giant, city-crushing snake, so that’s how he appears). I Think I Can lets her distort reality to create effects and grant properties driven by her beliefs (e.g., her cape and wizard’s hat are basically indestructible because she believes they are). She’s basically perfect as a support/summoner type Servant.

Her final Noble Phantasm, and the one that basically empties out her reserves, is Gary World. It’s a reality marble encapsulating her beliefs that the power of friendship is an invincible force for good, and that good always triumphs over evil. In short, it drags her opponent into a weaponised theme park where everything is a weapon and will try to kill them. There are fluorescent animals with bazookas, and transforming, combining theme park rides that turn into giant robots with rail guns. You get the idea.

Of course, it isn’t enough. Saviour crushes her anyway because that’s what Saviour does. However, Diana’s plan was never to win through battle. Even in defeat, she was able to remind Saviour of what she’d given up, prompting her to have a change in heart. Saviour withdrew from the battle entirely and decided to simply allow the Singularity to be dealt with.

Incidentally, Caster!Diana will be accompanying Fujimaru to the Babylon Singularity. This will lead to a somewhat amusing situation in which Diana comes to view Gilgamesh as a true believer in the greatness of Gary. After all, only somehow who believes fervently in Gary could feel the loss of a friend as deeply as Gilgamesh does. Sadly, her attempts to use Gilgamesh as a mode of transportation (she can often be found clinging onto Fujimaru’s back although she later upgrades to piggybacking on Quetzalcoatl) don’t work out. She does, however, dole out plenty of head pats when they meet Ushiwakamru (who clearly does need to be taught the power of friendship).

If you’re interested in my thoughts on writing and other topics, you can find those here.

I also write original fiction, which you can find on Amazon here. I’ve recently released two stories, Attempted Adventuring and Surviving Quarantine, as well as two audiobooks, Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Army of Golems and Two Necromancers, a Dragon, and a Vampire. If you like humour, action, and adventure, be sure to check them out.

[sevi007]

(@rex101111 this is kinda for your birthday, since you always encouraged my weirdest ideas - even wrote them WITH me =D - and I didn’t really have time to make something real for you... I hope this makes you, at least, smile a bit on your big day!)

Saw this amazing Undertale comic-stripe again where Frisk is taken to cool by someone else every day, from Undyne over Sans to Mettaton – most of them in the weirdest fashion possible – and thought:

 Hey, take the same premise, but make it with the DMC crew, right. So like:

  On Monday, Patty doesn’t show up to lectures by foot as usual, but gets a ride. She hops out the passenger side of an older vehicle, only to scramble back in at the call of the driver and dropping a smacking kiss to his cheek with a grin before slamming the door and running off to greet her friends. Classmates nearby by pause, the sight just unusual enough to make them wonder, but not enough to really worry about it, and everyone sort of goes on about their day.

Aside from someone who scratches their head, wondering aloud “Was that Patty’s dad?”

“Do they look like they are related, genius?”

“That doesn’t have to say anything, ya know.”

   On Tuesday, everyone turns in surprise as shrieks of laughter can be heard over the roaring of an engine. A motorcycle swings around the nearest corner, coming to a sharp stop in front of the school yard. Patty jumps off – they only recognize her as she rips the helmet off and shakes her hair out, grinning from ear to ear.

“That was awesome!” Some hear her say, loudly, over the still running engine when she passes the helmet back. “You really need to come around more often, lady!”

And some wonder what weird way of address that is, for someone the girl is familiar enough to ride a motorcycle with, familiar enough to hug her goodbye and get an affectionate hair-ruffle from.

Someone else is more caught up wondering “Was that lady carrying a bazooka?!” but nobody really believes them. Surely, that was a fake.

  On Wednesday, there’s the sound of thunder to be heard. The students look up, worried – the forecast has promised sunshine and blue skies, not rain and especially no thunderstorms.

There’s no clouds to be seen, which makes the thing even weirder.

Another clap, the sound of frizzling and the smell of ozone, and people jump away, some shouting, as there’s suddenly a woman amidst their group that has not been there a second before, blonde hair whipping around her head as if she just been hit by a windblast, leather corset creaking faintly as she completely ignores the stares she gets. Instead she bends forward –

And Patty scrambles off her back where she’s been carried piggyback, breathless from laughter and looking like she just came out of a wind tunnel.

“How was that?”

“I think that was faster than lady’s motorcycle, honestly!”

“I sure hope so,” a headpat that looks slightly too mechanic to be really practiced. It seems enough to make Patty’s smile widen. “See ya, kiddo.”

And she’s gone as suddenly as she appeared. Patty shoulders her backpack and strides off humming, doesn’t even seem to notice the people around her, staring, blinking, some pinching themselves to see if they had just dreamed the whole thing up.

   On Thursday, the crowd of bleary-eyed students scatters unnaturally quick when someone screams “Out of the way!” and honks can be heard. Everyone dives to the side or gets dragged along as a van swerves way to close past a pole and stops sideways, brakes screeching, in the middle of the school yard, instead of the street before it.

The side door flies open with a bang, and someone can be heard swearing

“Nico what the fuck have we said about speed limits-“

“I didn’t hit anything, calm your tits-…”

Another swear, a deep sigh and something being murmured into a palm that to those close enough to catch it sound like “Why me?”. The young man who has just clambered out the danger-vehicle runs a hand through his hair – dyed white, for some weird reason, maybe a punk? – casting a glance at the sky as if to ask for patience.

Patty exits the van behind him (and at this point, no one in the crowd is really surprised to see her in the middle of that mess). Her expression is one of innocence – only the twitch around her mouth betraying her. “Sooooo I shouldn’t call you guys next time you’re in the area?”

The glare the man levels her with could have made the bravest people take cover. Patty just laughs. He sighs, rubs his nose. “You’re gonna do it anyway.”

“Yu-p!”

“Get lost, you.”

“See ya Pats!” the woman behind the wheel calls, before abusing the car horn. “Com’ on, we got work to do!”

“Gimme a break, will you!”

And they are off again, engine roaring like a beast, brakes screeching to be heard still when they are out of sight already. Half of the students are late to class for being too busy staring after the spectacle and wondering what the fuck just happened?

  On Friday, everybody knows. The entire school knows, and at least half of it makes a point of crowding around the school yard or linger near windows at least. A lot of them pretend its coincidence. A few admit it outright. A few of those who do even start bets over it. But whatever they say – they all are sure they want to see who Patty Lowell brings around this time.

The outcome is… disappointing, to say the least. “Fucking let down,” someone who lost their bet notes.

There’s no bang, no flashiness. Nobody startles; nobody has to take cover. They don’t even arrive in a car, but by foot: Strolling as if they have all the time in the world, Patty even dragging the giant of a man along by the hand, which he comments with an unamused quip that she counters with one of her own, back and forth, back and forth. The bickering seems to be the most interesting thing about this new friend of hers, anyway – sure, he is kind of outstanding with his bright red leather coat and his white hair (again; is this some kind of group those people are part of?). But all in all, he’s too normal, too scruffy, too tired-and-worn looking to really catch anyone’s interest. A serious letdown after all the weirdness this week, this guy.

Patty seems to think so, too; or at least, that might be the reason for the way she snaps at him, gestures at him, drags him around like a puppet.

(He lets himself be dragged, someone who looks a bit closer than others points out, he’s okay with that, but it falls on deaf ears.)

Then the reach the school gate, and the bickering stops so abruptly as if it’s been cut off. Patty tugs – the guy bends down easily, readily. A quick, tight hug around the neck while she tiptoes, squeezing so hard as if he could disappear when she lets go of him.

“Ice cream when you pick me up?”

“Sure thing, Kid”

“Don’t take any naps again, okay.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Then the separate. A last wave with two fingers – more a salute, really – and the strange guy wanders off, still dragging his feet and slouching as if he has nowhere to be, not really.

 Patty waves back, turns – and stops when she sees not too few gazes snap away from her quickly, guilty. Her eyes narrow and she says loud and clear, to all of them, because this is Patty Lowell and she doesn’t back down no matter how many she faces, “What? Anybody got something to say?”

There’s uneasy shuffling. Some people sneak off, which is only because the show is over, not because they are intimidated of course.

One voice pipes up, mumbling something along the lines off “Friend looked more boring than the rest.” They get hit by an elbow to the rips ��� everybody knows you don’t mess with Patty’s friends.

But instead of blowing up at them, getting in their face and straighten them right out – Patty laughs. Bright and amused.

“You guys have no idea.”

 And it’s settled then and there –

 Nobody really gets what’s going on in Patty Lowell’s life, or with her family.

[cultgambles]

Nature’s Alfredo Sauce

I saw @wtffanfiction ‘s post on weird words to describe genitals...

and my friend dared me to write something with 100 of the words haha. there’s 108 in here i think.

i dont even know.

Word Count: 1317

It was 10:30 at night, the angel lay in her bed without a care in the world. Well, she did have one care: the human that she called with such sweet words earlier that day had not shown up at the time they agreed upon. They were supposed to be boinking about now. A little bit of horizontal monster mash, one could say. 30 minutes past ten, she was quite bored. There was nothing interesting on TV to sate her being, and nothing worth listening to or reading. She couldn’t even muster up any dirty thoughts to swipe at her tainted jewel.

Ugh.

Until...a knock at her door.

Begrudgingly, she got up, using her wings to carry her the short distance to the door. Lazy. Peeking through the peephole, she saw her human standing there, a bouquet of yellow and red roses gripped tightly in his hands. She opened the door slowly, and he gave a sheepish smile.

“Sorry I’m late,” he said, “the dinner party ran super late.”

“It’s fine. As long as you do what you intended to do before.”

“I do!” he beamed, suddenly his pocket rocket becoming throbbing manliness tenting in the cotton prison of his pants. “I brought it just for you, my lance of love, for my love!”

“Ohhhh!” She crooned, her velvet underground becoming moist as he advanced toward her. Her pleasure pearl throbbed with need, as their mouths were on each other in an instant, tongues battling for dominance. He kicked the door behind him, scooping his angel into his arms and carrying her towards the bedroom. Her legs gripped his hips, and she could feel his coke bottle cock poking her hershey highway. He THREW her on the bed, shoving his shirt off, marveling at the way her eyes drank up his well defined chest. She crawled towards him on all fours, pressing her slender fingers around his MIGHTY MAN NOODLE, feeling its rigidness stiffen even more, massaging the orbs. “Do you like when I touch your organ? Your fuck stem, organic crotch gun, diego the explorer--”

“I know you’re trying to hit 100 words but that’s a little overkill,” the man frowned. “You can just say sperminator and go.”

“It’s hard, just like your engorged staff. It’s gotten so big and thicc I don’t know if it will fit in my haynannernanners at all…” She opened her mouth, licking the veins along the underside of his doggy lipstick. 

“Oh that feels so good on my pulsing manmeat. This bulging soldier boy is gonna wreck your triangular area so gud beby.”

“I can’t wait,” she moaned, the DNA rifle still in her mouth, sending pleasures of vibration to the man’s brain. She swirled the tip of the holy wand, and the man groaned, digging his fingers in her long long hair. After a few more languid licks and sucks, his horrible wet mushroom was SQUIZRTING SOME BABY BATTER RIGHT INTO HER MOUTH.

“Urg,” he moaned. 

“Aaaa,” she moaned back, milking the last few drops from his peenie weenie. His fuckfluid was very salty, like he had a bad diet. As soon as she popped off of him, iT (God’s pinky finger) WAS ROCK HARD AGAIN. She couldnt wait to get that cherry assassin deep in her damp canal of lust. 

“Lay back,” the man said gruffly, kneeling to his knees. His tongue found purchase on her love nubbin, his fish pole fingers making their way to her weeping folds.

“Ur so wet for me beby...just for me and my giant sausage,” he groaned into her love pocket. 

“Yes! Only for u, my man with the love tool! I never met anyone with a better male organism than u.”

“Really? You mean that? No one’s got a better you-know-what than me?”

“I mean it b. Hurry up now, my letter o be gettin dry over here,” the angel rolled her eyes. 

“Oh yeah,” he said, returning to the attack on her valve. Suddenly, he detached from her clam cavern, his man-carrot spewing thick, hot princely milk all over the bed. “Your slit of ecstasy tastes so good.”

Damn, she thought to herself, I wasn’t even close. If his mauve avenger didn’t do the job, she would play with her kitty later after he fell asleep.

He snaked up to her, pressing hot fingers to her love pillows, pinching the rosebuds. “Was that good?”

“Yes,” she lied.

“Now it’s time for my pink stiff flobberworm. In your jewelry box.” (His crimson bird was hard for like the 3rd time). 

“Yeah, I think my vagoo would love that.”

The man sat up, pulling the angel above his lap, over the one-eyed snake so her mayonnaise drain was directly in place to slide in easily. She sank down on the mayonnaise cannon, filling her up deliciously. 

“Oh, babe, your communism stick is in my chamber of secrets so deep and good.” The angel readjusted herself, bracing her hands against his shoulders as she started to move her hips up and down his beef bazooka. His burrito, in fact, was so big she couldn’t even fit all of him in her moist core. COo.

She gave a sudden moan as the hungry dragon hit that sweet sweet geronimo spot deep inside her. 

“Oh, ur tube flute game is so much better than your mouth frickle frackle. Yesssss daddy just like that,” she whined at the end. “SO good in my pleasure casino.”

“Baby, u feel so good on my kryptonian meat.” he gripped her anal fortress with such vigor, it was sure to leave small crecrents. He took a mythical berry in his mouth, teeth grazing the sensitive spot of her fun bags as his hips rose up to meet hers. He POUNDED into her at inhuman speeds, the angel groaning with every pump of his muatra. 

He liked watching his dark spire go in and out from her forbidden fruit, the way his crown jewels slapped her poop cavern harshly every time.

“Do you like your formerly caged viper meeting my downstairs mouth?!” she purred.

“Yeah looks great. Feels great. Must be mine.” (why did i think of p!atd emperor's new clothes??)

Soon, but not soon enough, the angel felt a tight knot in her belly. 

The tell tale signs of an orgasm (surprised they didn't have another word for it). It hit her like a tonne of bricks as she threw her head back in ecstasy, her chest balls bouncing from the force. Each in a different direction, just like anime girl tiddies. She was wrecked.

The man felt her penis trap tighten as her walls squeezed his hairy wolf dingaling. A few more thrusts of his hips had his hardened arousal squirt his liquid love deep in her man muncher, quickly turning it into a cave with honey.

They both moaned wantonly, so loudly that the neighbors were probably also getting off from their wonderful time of bumbin uglies.

He pulled out of her cum dumpster, his love muscle flopping against his belly, still leaking spaff a bit. 

The angel flopped over next to him, feeling warm pale liquid seep out of her egg chamber onto the bed.

“Your midnight meat train never ceases to amaze me. Like why is it so big and so good?”

“Good genes I guess,” he laughed, “but your woman-tomato is givin me a run for my money.”

“That was fun, you can come use your mighty sword of eros in my cock garage again.”

“Can I use my sugar quill in your fart factory next time?” He asked, batting his eyelashes. 

“Sure, why not. Only if I get to peg your man pussy too. So it’s even.”

She laughed, pressing rumblr spheres (and subsequently naked body) on his person, hugging him close. Of course, his thingy became restless manmeat ready for action in 5 seconds flat.

“Another round of belly magic?”

[midsommersolstice]

If You’re Nothing Without the Suit

Whumptober 2019 - Prompt #2: Explosion

Fandom: Marvel/MCU/Irondad

Summary:  Peter goes to bust trespassers but finds himself in over his head when he is instead targeted with rocket launchers and loses power to his suit.

Word Count: 4272

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20867783

@whumptober2019

If there was one thing Peter was good at, it was patrolling with the full intention of staying close to the ground, sticking to minor criminals, doing everything that Mr. Stark asked of him... only to stumble into situations way above his pay grade, situations Mr. Stark would definitely not want him to be anywhere near. One good example was chasing what he thought was a small-time arms dealer down the road one minute and then being clutched in giant metal talons, dangling a hundred feet in the air over the Hudson River the next. Another excellent example was the situation he found himself in now - surrounded by three men with rocket launchers on the top floor of a condemned apartment complex. Only three. And only rocket launchers. Normally he would not have a whole lot of trouble with them. The rocket launchers were a bit more than he was used to, sure, but he could have handled it. The problem was that they didn’t shoot normal rockets. The first missile hadn’t even hit him, not directly, but the explosion sent out some sort of electrical charge. It fried Peter’s suit before he even landed in their midst and left his muscles seizing and twitching painfully. The second blast came only moments later, but this time he was more prepared and flipped over it, twisting in the air to watch its trajectory. It hit the far wall and exploded in what appeared to be a normal grenade blast, but as Peter’s feet touched down, a second concussive force was sent out from it, shoving him backwards at least another ten feet. “Jeez, you didn’t even give me a chance to introduce myself,” Peter muttered as he rose from his crouch and brushed some loose ceiling particles from his suit. “I thought you guys were squatters! I was just going to politely ask you to vacate the premises.” “We’re not squatters, Spider-freak, so why don’t you mind your own fucking business and swing right back out the window,” one of the men growled, and Peter saw the glint of a gold tooth in his mouth. He kept his rocket launcher trained on Peter’s chest. “Well see we’re in a different situation, now,” Peter replied carefully, eyes darting left to right as the two other men began to fan out to either side of him, each sporting their own launchers on their shoulders. “Because I’m guessing you don’t have permits for those weird bazooka things. Do they even make bazooka permits?” “Dude, let him stay,” the man on Peter’s right said lightly, greasy black hair hanging down into his eyes. “We wanted to test them out, anyway. This is way better than shooting them into some warehouse wall.” “I don’t think this is a good place to be testing them, if you want my opinion.” Peter backed up a few paces to try and avoid being completely surrounded. “You need more space. You might hit each other if you’re not careful, and that would just be embarrassing for you.” “Then we’ll be careful,” the gold-toothed man said, eyes narrowing dangerously. Peter shot a web to the ceiling just in time to avoid a direct hit from the man on his right. He felt the heat and pressure of the explosion against his back before scurrying away, then the secondary concussive blast shoved into him and he had to focus on keeping his hands and feet secured to the ceiling to avoid being blown away. Okay, greasy haired guy has the concussion rockets, he noted as he flipped off the ceiling close enough to the man on his left that he hoped the other two wouldn’t shoot. This man worried him. He was larger, more muscled, and had the dog tags and haircut of a marine. He’d so far been silent and Peter didn’t like the fact that he didn’t know what this man’s ammo could do. As soon as Peter landed in his space, the marine swung the butt of his weapon toward him. Peter ducked and spun a leg out to knock the man off his feet but it was sidestepped. He followed with a swift punch to the man’s jaw but made sure to lessen the force behind it. He was only aiming to incapacitate. The marine’s head snapped to the side before his expression hardened again and his fist snaked out with surprising speed to crack against Peter’s chin. Okay, maybe I don’t need to pull my punches, Peter thought as stars sparked in his vision. He danced backwards as the marine slouched into a boxer’s stance, eyes cold and ready. A warning tingle travelled up Peter’s spine from behind him and he leapt to the ceiling again. The explosion wasn’t close enough to hurt but Peter was now in range of the electrical follow through. The currents were far more powerful and painful than they were the first time, crackling through his body like lines of fire. His muscles seized and he dropped from the ceiling, trying to twist like a cat in mid air but only managing half a turn. He landed heavily on his right hand and knee and felt a sharp zing travel up through his wrist. A boot slammed into his ribs and knocked him onto his back but he rolled through it into a crouch, trying to get his tightened and twitching muscles to cooperate. The marine followed him, crowding into his space and continuing to assault him with well practiced attacks. Peter blocked and dodged almost all of them but a hard punch got through to his gut and a couple more landed on his cheek. He knew he was being purposely driven back into the middle of the room. Sure enough, he felt another warning tingle and dove to one side as an explosion blasted the spot where he’d just been standing. He wondered which follow up effect he would get and was answered when his body was hit with the concussion force, pushing his dive for safety much farther than intended. He only just managed to curl into the ground before his body slid and hit the far wall. Peter groaned against his cramping muscles as he staggered to his feet again and tried to shake out some of the growing ache in his wrist. “Come on guys, it’s gotta be close to dinner time. Can we all just put our destructive and clearly illegal weapons down and get some take out?” “You paying?” the man with the greasy black hair replied with a smirk. “I would, but believe it or not this is not a high paying job.” Peter took advantage of the temporary reprieve to reassess the room and try to form a plan. Without power to his suit, he didn’t have Karen’s kind encouragements and suggestions. Or the ability to switch between web attack types. Or the helpful visual overlay. But... if he was nothing without the suit, then he shouldn’t have it. He had taken those words to heart the second Mr. Stark said them and had lived by them ever since. He had learned to fight without relying on the suit’s many technological advantages. But he did miss having the ability to call Mr. Stark for help if he needed it. He wasn’t even sure the tracker in his suit still worked. “Tell you what.” The man with the gold tooth lowered his weapon and spread an arm out in faux geniality. “You take our offer to mind your own fucking business and we’ll let you go with all your limbs. You can go get as much takeout as your little bug heart desires by yourself and you won’t have to foot our bill.” “What if I want to stay here and spend more time with you guys?” Peter glanced between the men. Gold Tooth was the most distracted and his weapon was lowered, so Peter would go for him first, webbing his rocket launcher away. The marine was still about ten feet away from his weapon where he’d left it in the corner of the room, so Peter would focus on Greasy Hair Guy before him. “If you choose to stick around with us, then we’ll stop testing these babies for fun and start testing them for lethality.” “Ooh, that’s a cool line,” Peter blurted before he thought to stop himself and immediately felt his cheeks flush. To hide his embarrassment he started his attack, whipping his hand out to aim a web at Gold Tooth’s weapon. He pressed the button on his palm but nothing happened. He tried again. He and Gold Tooth both looked down at his wrist and then back up at each other, and the man gave him a slow smile. “You still wanna stick around?” Peter sighed in resignation. “Yes.” Greasy Hair immediately launched a rocket but Peter was already springing toward the ceiling, this time moving towards the man instead of away. The rocket passed under him and he had almost reached the man when it exploded. He leapt down, hoping to use the concussion wave to propel him forward, but instead he felt electricity rip through him. He gasped at the unexpected pain, convulsing to his knees and jerking through the aftershocks. “Dude, that one fucks him up,” Greasy Hair said in wonder as he approached. Peter just grunted and tried to get his sore, clenching body to relax as fast as possible. The pain was beginning add up, each electrical shock breaking down his muscles more and more. His cheek ached. His ribs ached. His wrist ached. Now he really wished he could call Mr. Stark. “I thought you had the concussion missiles,” Peter ground out, curling his arms around his midsection and looking up as the man stopped in front of him. “You have to reload between shots, you know. It’s not like I’m carrying only one type of ammo.” He grinned down at Peter, the weapon held loosely by his side. “I’m really glad you thought I did, though.” “We haven’t even hit him dead on yet,” Gold Tooth complained behind him. “He just keeps catching the secondary effects.” “Don’t worry, he’s slowing down.” Greasy Hair nudged Peter’s shoulder with the barrel of the rocket launcher. “Aren’t you?” Peter could have stood but decided to stay down. As long as they kept talking he would save his strength and wait, knowing that if he couldn’t predict which rocket came from which direction anymore, then he had to set his mind on escape. He was at too much of a disadvantage. “Money well-fuckin-spent, man. If we have fucking Spider-Man on the ropes with these babies, there’s not much we can’t do.” Something heavy impacted the roof above them, rattling the room with so much force that bits of ceiling debris rained down. The three men looked up in confusion. Peter began to smile as an almost inaudible whining sound filled the air, growing louder until it released a powerful blast and the ceiling caved inward. Ironman landed with a metallic thunk amid the rubble in the center of the room, looking as majestic as Peter had ever seen him with the late afternoon sun coming in through the ceiling and glinting off his armor. Peter wanted to continue to revel in his mentor’s badass entrance, but instead he took advantage of the distraction to rip the launcher out of Greasy Hair’s hands and send it skidding into the corner. An explosion sounded behind him and he swiftly punched Greasy Hair twice in the face to knock him out before spinning around. Tony had his forearms crossed in front of him and his metal feet dug into the ground as a concussive wave that would have sent Peter flying forced him back a few feet. “Be careful, Mr. Stark, they... do stuff!” Peter called out. “Thanks, kid, I can see that.” Tony blasted his repulsor at Gold Tooth and hit him in the shoulder, slamming him back into the wall. The man got one more shot off before the repulsor hit him a second time and sent him to the ground. “No, like their ammo is weird! One of them -“ He cut himself off to leap out of the way as the missile sailed straight past Tony and toward him. But Greasy Hair had been right. He was slowing down. It exploded right in front of him, this time close enough that he could feel parts of his suit burning off and his skin underneath being seared as he was thrown back. Then the electricity hit and he cried out in pain, just barely managing to stay on his feet as it coursed through him. From then on, things moved almost too fast for him to follow. Explosions came one after another, so rapidly that he momentarily thought more men must have entered the room. But then he saw the marine on one knee with a pile of rockets next to him, loading and shooting them off with a speed that only an ammunitions expert could possibly manage. Peter stayed in motion as best he could, focusing solely on avoiding the blasts. He couldn’t ignore the urge to go on the offensive and try something super cool to impress Mr. Stark, but he knew that he would only get in the way. And he would get yelled at. Tony had his big body-sized shield planted into the ground in front of him to keep from being pushed back by the concussive blasts. He hunched in on himself slightly when an electrical charge crackled over him but Peter was relieved to see that his suit didn’t shut down like Peter’s had. He appeared to be timing the blasts in order to gauge when to step out and return fire but before he could, things went from bad to much much worse. Peter had come to assume that there were only the two types of ammunition and that the marine didn’t have his own unique type like he’d first guessed. But he was wrong. He saw the man load a larger red-shelled rocket into the launcher and the danger sense that buzzed in the back of his neck flared. Tony stepped into the open to fire but Peter leapt from the ceiling towards him and yanked him back behind his shield. He huddled down behind his mentor just as the man fired. The missile hit the shield dead on and they were both pushed back, Tony grunting as he tried to hold onto the shield with one hand. His other hand reached behind him and wrapped around Peter, holding him tightly against his back. Then liquid fire began to splatter around them, sticking to the ceiling, the floor, and the walls. It clung in chunks to the shield like a gel, burning a hot blue and orange. “What the heck is that?!” Peter exclaimed in alarm. “Napalm,” Tony replied quickly, sounding grim. “How the hell did these idiots get their hands on something like that?” “I don’t know, I just thought they were trespassers!” “Of course you did. Can you web that launcher away if I distract him?” “No, they’re not working! My whole suit shorted out!” Peter replied, feeling like a little kid hiding behind their parent. He peeked over Tony’s shoulder to see what was happening but then quickly ducked down again as another napalm rocket flew their way. Only this time, the marine aimed high. It exploded against the ceiling directly above them, cracking the plaster and raining the fiery goop down on them. Peter yelped and dove away as fast as he could but still felt the thwack of burning gel hit his shoulder, another glop splattering across his calf. He rolled up into a crouch and looked for Tony, finding him similarly on fire in several areas, but his iron armor was more than enough protection against it and the flames just made him look even more intimidating. He had stepped from behind his shield and began to rapid fire in the marine’s direction, clearly done trying to be tactical. Peter took the opportunity to try and put out the fire dripping over his shoulder, patting at it frantically with his hand. It had grown more than uncomfortably hot as it started to eat through his suit. But to his rising alarm, the fire not only didn’t go out but transferred to his palm as well. Then he saw movement in his right periphery and whipped his head over in time to see Greasy Hair shoot a rocket towards him from only about fifteen feet away. The man’s nose was bleeding freely, his expression a mix between fury and panic. Peter stumbled backward as quickly as he could and managed to avoid the brunt of the explosion, but the concussion force that followed sent him flying back and he braced himself for impact against the wall behind him. Only instead of hitting the wall, he sailed through a massive hole where part of the wall had crumbled away. Heart-stopping fear hit him full force as his limited chances of survival became apparent. He was several stories high. His web shooters were broken. He couldn’t use the glider Tony had installed in his suit, nor the parachute. As if that wasn’t enough, he saw a second missile follow him out as he began to fall. He curled into a little ball and it flew past, but then it hit the building right next door and blasted him forward again. Ironically, it may well have saved his life because it sent him crashing through a window into the empty floor below. To say he was overwhelmed was a huge understatement. Shards of glass crunched under him as he struggled unsteadily to his hands and knees, heart thundering in his chest and breaths coming in quick, shuddering gasps. Searing pain was burning into his shoulder, his hand, his leg, and multiple other tiny areas where the napalm had eaten clean through his suit and was now licking into his skin. He yanked his mask off with his good hand and pressed it shakily over the worst part of his shoulder to try and smother the flames, but it just oozed out from around the mask and spread further. Heavy explosions continued to rock the ceiling above him, sending bits of plaster raining down into his hair. He trembled on his knees and wiped his flaming hand frantically against the ground in a desperate attempt to get the burning gel off. The pain only grew, like white hot brands being pressed into his body, and he whimpered as panic began to overtake him. He was on fire. His body was burning and he didn’t know what to do. Then a strong metal hand latched onto his upper arm and shoved him the rest of the way to the floor. “Close your eyes and hold your breath!” Tony ordered sharply, other hand hovering above him. Peter squeezed his eyes shut and turned his face away as a thick, cold substance sprayed over him. He was turned this way and that a few times but Peter just kept his eyes closed and let himself be maneuvered until every inch of napalm had been dowsed. The grip on his arm tightened. “Hey. Open your eyes, Peter. You’re okay now,” Tony said, his voice stiff and urgent. Peter obeyed, heart still racing and breath still coming in too harshly and too fast, and found Tony staring down at him. His mentor’s eyes were wide and piercing, his face lined with worry. He laid a hand on Peter’s chest, heavy and steadying. “You’re okay, kiddo,” he repeated more softly. “Easy, just breathe nice and easy. You’re okay. It’s over. They’re done, they won’t be getting up for a long time.” Peter closed his eyes and let out a long, shuddering breath as the fight or flight adrenaline slowly faded from his body. “Oh my God, thank you, Mr. Stark,” he mumbled mindlessly. “That got really scary.” “Yeah, tell me about it,” Tony returned, closely inspecting Peter’s shoulder where the napalm had burned through his suit. He began to pick at the edges and pull the fabric away from Peter’s skin. Peter jerked and hissed at the contact, his good hand flying up to clutch Tony’s wrist and still his movements. “Your suit is melting into your skin,” his mentor explained, eyes briefly meeting Peter’s in silent apology. “I have to separate it before your skin starts to heal and fuse to it.” After a second of hesitation, Peter let his hand drop and chewed on his lip as Tony carefully peeled at the edges. He sprayed more of the clear liquid over the burns as he worked and Peter slowly felt the stabbing pain begin to fade to a dull ache. “Jesus Christ, kid,” Tony murmured as he moved down to Peter’s calf. “You really know how to shave years off a guy’s life.” “I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was going to get that dangerous.” Tony snorted softly and Peter struggled up into a sitting position, wincing when he put pressure on his wrist. “Really! I thought they were just squatters and went in to ask them to leave, and then... they had those things. But it still wasn’t so bad. And then when it kept getting worse and I knew I couldn’t call you, I was going to leave. Or at least try to leave. I’m really sorry.” Tony paused his ministrations to look him in the eye and put a placating hand on his good shoulder. “Hey, I’m not mad. Do you think I’m mad?” Peter furrowed his eyebrows. “No? I don’t know. It’s just. I don’t know, it seems like something you’d be mad about.” “You didn’t know what you were getting yourself into, kid, it’s okay. I’m glad you were going to try to leave. You did the right thing, I’m proud.” Peter’s face instantly lit up with a bright smile and Tony looked away again, rolling his eyes. “Okay, settle down. Just do me a favor and don’t fly out a window on fire and then disappear out of the air when I look for you. I thought you were vaporized or went to another dimension or something.” Peter couldn’t hold in a burst of laughter and Tony’s eyes shot back to him in disbelief. “What? All I knew was that they ‘did stuff’ and were ‘weird’.” He emphasized with air quotes. “That leaves a lot of possibilities, and I have a very active and negative imagination.” Peter’s laughter died down. “How did you find me, anyway? How did you even know something was happening?” “Well,” he started with a short exhale. He sprayed the last little bit of liquid in between Peter’s fingers and then sat back on his heels. “I got an alert that your suit shut down. Not that you took it off, but that it shorted out. And I knew it wasn’t you tampering with it because we agreed not to do that again,” Tony poked Peter’s chest gently, “So I suited up. Your tracker was offline but your stats kept having these power surges that would briefly light up your location. I got close enough and then just followed the sound of the apocalypse.” “Wow,” Peter said quietly. “Good thing I kept getting electrocuted.” “Good lord. Yeah I guess so.” Tony let out a humorless huff, then rose to his feet and helped Peter up. He couldn’t help releasing a pained groan as his aching muscles protested the movement. Worry lines returned to Tony’s face. ”How’re you feeling there, kiddo? What hurts?” His eyes darted over Peter’s body again. Peter took a few seconds to just breathe and assess himself before answering. “Well, several things. But I’m not on fire anymore, so that’s an improvement. Actually the burns are hurting less than they should. I should be hurting more. And something smells really... chemically. Am I having a stroke?” Peter could see the hint of a smile soften Tony’s features. “That’s the fire-retardant. I put an analgesic agent in it, but it smells like shit.” “And it’s really slimey,” Peter added, wiping carefully at the clear goo before looking up at his mentor and taking in his ash-streaked and scorched armor. “Are you okay, Mr. Stark?” Tony gave him an amused smile and ruffled his hair. “I’m good now, kiddo, I was just worried about you. But come on, I need to call this in and then we can get you properly fixed up. That analgesic won’t last forever.” As Tony began making calls, Peter wandered back towards the window he had crashed through, limping slightly. The sun was nearing the horizon. He glanced down to the road far below and shivered at the thought of his own body laying on the pavement. He turned back around a few minutes later when Tony ended his call. “Mr. Stark?” Tony put his phone away and looked up at him. “What’s up?” “You looked really cool.” The older man grinned. “What, the entrance?” Peter nodded emphatically and Tony gave a dramatic shrug as he walked closer. “Hey, it’s part of the gig, you gotta look intimidating.” He stopped when he was next to Peter, laid a hand on his shoulder, and stared down at him pointedly. “You’re still a work in progress in that department.” Peter gave a good-natured laugh and let his mentor lead him away from the window. “How about when I was on fire? I bet that looked even cooler.” “It did!”

[ick25]

Rockman.EXE Final Episode Review!

I ain’t afraid of no Gostler.

Finally, the last episode of the first season of the Rockman.EXE anime, the last episode before Axess changes almost everything!

You might not know this, but I am NOT a huge fan of Axess, it nearly destroys everything I’m used to and love from the first season, but I’ll talk about that some other time. Lets dive into this final adventure!

Who you’re gonna call?

The episode begins at night where Netto’s dad is carrying out an experiment. He created something called the “Dimensional core” that projects a grassy field in a parking lot, however, this is not a hologram since Dr. Hikari is able to touch a tree, claiming the experiment was a success.

He is basically God now.

The next morning we are at Netto’s house where his useless mom is humming Aki’s cheesy song while Netto is working on some kind of device he invented. The device happens to be a wireless plug that allows him to connect Rockman into a far away computer.

I’m not completely sure how this is suppose to work. I initially thought it was a way for Netto to plug-in to any computer withing range, but I think it just allows him to reconnect with Rockman if he is stranded in a computer, since it has been showed in the anime that he can’t send chips if he is not directly connected to the computer or server.

Netto gets a phone call from Commander Beef who gives him some worrying news about his father before the title card appears.

We then see Netto and his friends, along with Higure, Masa and Mariko-sensei for some reason, in a commercial plane, I guess Yaito decided to get cheap on us today.

Netto tells everyone that Commander Beef just told him that his dad had suddenly gone missing in Jawaii. He is obviously worried by this and the grown-ups try to cheer him up, with Higure saying that Commander Beef was probably lying, which angers Masa for some “unknown” reason.

Netto suddenly receives a call from Enzan who gives him more information about Dr. Hikari’s location and what he was working on.

I find it interesting that this last line was skipped and given to Rockman later on in the american version.

What is Enzan’s reason to help Netto all of a sudden?

Speaking of the dub, the line they gave to Yaito here was very awkward, by revealing that she likes Chaud/Enzan which is completely out of character.

We don’t go to commercials just yet, but we get the first screen saver we haven’t seen since the first part of the season.

Gotta love the sub’s sense of humor.

The next scene takes us to the shopping mall that has been taken over by some big roots, with a giant tree suddenly appearing on the roof. Netto and company are now on a helicopter where they are amazed at the sight of the tree. Rockman tells them that the tree is made out of cyber matter but functions just like a real tree.

While giving us the code for shrinking the Shield program. I used to think that was a chemical equation or something. XD

So after Mariko-sensei makes a bad joke, Yaito orders the pilot... Oh no! Why is SHE the pilot?!

Did we really need that gag to return?

Meanwhile, on another part of Jawaii, we see the Ex-WWW who have opened a second restaurant called Maha Niban and it seems there is an air of contentment around them because they all look happy and fulfilled.

Oh boy, I can tell something bad is gonna happen to them soon and I just can’t wait!

Back to our heroes, the inside of the mall looks like that planet from the Degoba system where Yoda lived, except the camera rotates around some of the plants that look three-dimensional but they’re actually bi-dimensional.

Which raises a question. How come these plants are bi-dimensional but Dr. Hikari was able to touch a solid tree at the start of this episode?

The group suddenly hear a familiar voice, it turns out to be Aki-chan who calls for Netto from a projection near the wall.

Aki tells them about Dr. Hikari’s experiment and how it started in the parking lot of the mall with the program he created called the Dimensional Core, however, viruses have taken over the Dimensional Core making the cyberworld in the mall unstable.

After Aki’s transmission is cut off, everyone decide to go to the parking lot, but not before Yaito reminds us how clumsy Sakurako is by telling her to stay put.

Seriously, what were you thinking, Yaito?

The group find an elevator that is still working, while they wait, Rush sees what looks like a pink female version of himself, presumably, another Mole virus. The girl virus lures him over and then... Does this.

What in the world was that?! This always confuse me. Is that how those viruses are supposed to be like? Is Rush like a tamed virus? Was it trying to eat him? Unfortunately that isn’t the case since Rush quickly hides behind Meiru who then notices that they are not alone.

What a silly question, Dekao. They are viruses, they are programmed to destroy everything in sight, whether it moves or not.

The group manages to escape through the elevator where Tohru says that the viruses probably materialized due to Dr. Hikari’s experiment. Just then,  Metools begin to destroy the elevator.

So cute, yet, so deadly.

The group is forced to get off in the second floor with the Mettools right behind them, but they are suddenly stopped by a group of Bunny viruses. With viruses on both sides, Netto and friends pull an impossible stunt to avoid getting hit by the viruses attacks.

No uncomfortable line after that, Netto? When that happened in episode 29 you were pretty happy about it. 

After the vines break and Higure is chased away by a Ghostler virus, Netto and his friends decide to use their Navis to stop the experiment from the cyberworld. 

I remember this part having my full attention, if viruses where able to materialized in the real world, maybe the Navis would too, we might see something different for once.

o_o  Well... That’s certainly different.

Apparently the cyberworld has become so unstable due to the experiment, that the Navis had nowhere to stand on, because that’s how computers work, right?

So after this, we get the second intermission with Rush running away from a Mettool, with some confusing messages from the subs.

One, what would Pharaohman’s first appearance have to do with anything? And two, isn’t it CTRL+Alt+Del? Because either way, DON’T DO IT!

None of the PETs can find the Navis, so Netto takes out his WiFi device and says how it is connected to Rockman, and can tell Netto if there is a Bluetooh-I mean, if Rockman is within range.

Then what was the point of building that thing?

With the Navis missing, the group have to find another solution, but before they can think of something, they are surprised by a Handi virus, and during the confusion, a Magma Dragon virus kidnaps Mariko-sensei with Masa running after it. Netto and friends are then ambushed by a Powei virus who chases them. 

While trying to get away from the virus, Meiru trips (because of course she has to trip), Netto goes back for her and gets her out of the way just in time.

The virus breaks a water fountain and the splash deletes it giving Netto an idea of how to fight the viruses.

Meanwhile, we find the Navis walking around an area that looks like the inside of a tree. Since they have no idea where they are or where they’re going, they start to lose hope until Aki-chan appears before them with the compression code for Fast Gauge because we need to speed things up.

We return to Netto and friends who have found Gabgom’s department store that Yaito mentioned back on the plane, where they are all suiting up for some Live Action Virus Busting or LAVB.

So we get a Ghost Buster tribute, but instead of high tech gadgets, our heroes have water guns.

The boys cover an area of the mall shooting water at the viruses to delete them. Rush is also helping out (Even though we know he has a virus summoning ability), and we get one last scene with the weird female Rush virus before she is deleted with the water; but I still have one question in mind.

The girls cover another area where Yaito is riding a mini tank that fires water balloons.

She had a bazooka in another episode so this doesn’t surprise me.

Then we get this quick scene of Masa-san changing into Commander Beef in a dressing room and attempting to save Mariko-sensei from the Magma Dragon.

As expected, it didn’t work. 

After this, the Magma Dragon lands and is ready to eat Mariko-sensei or something, but the boys appear to save her. Since the Magma Dragon is big, it takes a lot of water to finally delete it. They reunite with Mariko who asks if everyone is alright.

Wow, that’s cold, Netto. I know it’s just a Gostler, but a materialized virus is still pretty dangerous, except for Rush.

We then get the final commercial break that omits the second part, something the subs kindly reminds us of.

I guess it’s fair since we saw chibi Blues twice in the last episode.

We return with the Navis who finally see the exit.

“Hurry just like a Fast Gauge!”

Back in the real world, our heroes arrive in the parking lot basement where they find the Dimensional core under a gigantic tree, but before they can think of how to fix it, they are surprised by a very big cameo from the game.

The Life Virus!

Of course the anime leaves the final boss of the first game for the final episode, and it is even more intimidating than in the game.

Turns out the powerful Life virus is the one responsible for making the program unstable. Since the boys are the only ones with water tanks for some reason now, they shoot water at the Life Virus, but because it is so humongous, their attacks are ineffective and they quickly run out of water.

With no more water, Netto and friends wait fearfully as the Life virus approaches them, but just then, Netto’s wireless device starts to react.

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! FINALLY!

After 55 episodes, Rockman finally appears in the real world!

The rest of the Navis appear soon after, giving Meiru and the others my exact reaction to this scene.

But I have no idea why this shot was skipped in the dub.

The Life virus attacks and the Navis fight back.

Unfortunately, their combined attacks are not enough to delete the Life virus, so Netto connects his PET to the wireless device in order to send Battle Chips to Rockman.

Now, if you’ve been taking screenshots of the episode like me, you’ll notice that there are quite a few recycled shots and animation errors, like Netto’s slot-in scenes with his regular cloths except that they were painted over to look like the outfit he’s wearing.

And this reused shot from episode 51, since it’s the wrong chip and the background is from the WWW lair.

Kanketsen is Fountain, a chip that normally can only be used with an aqua element Style Change.

Speaking of said Style Change, Netto somehow activates the Aqua Custom Style without the Extra code to finish off the Life virus with the Mega Deus Ex Maquina burst!

Now it’s the right chip, but still the wrong background.

Once the Life virus is deleted, the Dimensional core stabilizes and all the other plants, trees, and even the Net Navis return to the cyberworld.

With everything back to normal, the group find Netto’s dad who was sleeping the whole time, and the ending music starts to play in the background along with the credits.

Netto wakes him up by pulling his ear, and then he has this weird formal exchange with Mariko-sensei.

No questions about why your son’s school teacher is with them in the artificial park you created in a mall in Jawaii?

Now, this part might be a little infuriating since Netto’s dad had no idea that the experiment was corrupted by a Live virus, how it took over the shopping mall, and how everyone was worried about him since they didn’t hear from him in a very long time, but the upbeat ending music kinda makes you realize that this is not suppose to be taken seriously.

The worst part is that Dr. Hikari just straight up leaves Netto behind while he goes back home to Japan in his weird flying van, something I would expect from Yaito.

I guess it’s a good thing the dub changed his lines to avoid making him feel like a jerk. What does he say instead? Well, its kinda of spoiler for what happens next.

Rockman and the other Navis materializing in the real world, and the Ex-WWW is attacked by a giant tree... I should feel satisfied, but not really.

My final thoughts?

Wow, once again the show plays with my emotions by finally making Rockman and the other Navis appear in the real world but it doesn’t last long and it doesn’t feel as meaningful as it should be. The whole episode is treated like a filler episode rather that an important plot point for the next season. During that time, and also because Axess was never dubbed in Latin America, I never knew that they were gonna use the Dimensional Core as the basis for the Dimensional Area in the next season.

Speaking of Axess, it looked like they weren’t even planning on making another season after this, but they just had to because of the forth game that would be released for December of 2003. This episode premiered in March of 2003 while Axess started in October of the same year, that means that the producers had to hire a whole new team of writers and animators to work on Axess in the course of 7 months, because the feeling of the new season is almost completely different from the first two, and that is why the first seasons will remain in my heart while having mixed feelings towards Axess.

The idea of Netto suddenly being an inventor in this episode is a cheap way to introduce the Wireless device he gets from Meiru in BN2.

Only to have it stuck forever on the other side of a room when confronting Princess Pride who had destroy part of the floor.

Battle Network logic.

Before ending this review I have to thank WolfPack Productions and the other groups who subbed these episodes, specifically the former because they made their own credits after this episode.

And thanks to them, not only did I discover that Higure and Numberman are played by the same voice actor, but Coloredman too.

So thanks to them and everyone who follows me on Tumblr and Deviantart who liked and or commented on this reviews.

[thecomicsnexus]

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES #21-25 JUNE - OCTOBER 1991 BY RYAN BROWN, DEAN CLARRAIN (STEPHEN MURPHY), BYRON VAUGHNS, GARY FIELDS, BARRY GROSSMAN, GENE COLAN, CHRIS ALLAN, BRIAN THOMAS, GARRET HO, JIM LAWSON, ROD OLLERENSHAW AND MARK PACELLA

SYNOPSIS (FROM COMIC VINE)

A U.S. spy satellite falls from its orbit and crashes into a pile of U.S.S.R. space junk, becoming entangled with a radioactive canister. The two fuse together in their descent towards the earth below. A man is watching the news in his cabin in the woods and becomes frustrated and angry with all of the reports dealing with mankind's effect on the failing environment. He lifts his TV set and carries it outside, where he tosses it into a garbage can - suddenly, he's struck with a blast of light and energy... Moments later, we see that the woodsman has been transformed. He's now some sort of hybrid between man, television and satellite! "What goes around, comes around," the creature states, "What comes around... goes around!" With that, the cyborg morphs into a ball of fiery energy and flies off.

The TMNT are working out in the sewers, still concerned about their missing brother, Raphael. Splinter and April are using the computers at April's news office to do research when one of O'Neil's co-workers arrives. Splinter hides while April has a joyful reunion with her friend, Malcolm, who thought she had been killed. The man asks April if she's investigating the reports of the fallen spy satellite, but O'Neil states that she's interested in something else. Malcolm politely excuses himself so April can get back to work. Splinter wishes to leave, and April sits at the keyboard to save her work - only to be pulled into the screen of the monitor by the cyborg! The Sensei tries to pull April free, but he's too late and is blasted by the satellite dude. Later, Splinter explains to the Turtles what happened. Donatello hacks into the news station's computers, attempting to trace where April was taken. Meanwhile, April is surprised to discover that her abductor is interested in having her interview him. The man states that he's about to destroy the world's communications systems - when April asks why, he tells her to grab her camcorder and he'll explain everything. The fellow stands and explains that he first wants to show people what's really going on in the world: starvation, disease and war - and then he'll shut everything down and force people to pause and think about what's happening - and then, together, humanity can do something about the problems. He hopes this plan will work so he doesn't have to do something more drastic - like using the nuclear waste within his body to irradiate the world's oil fields and rendering them useless for human use. April declares that his plan is madness, and the cyborg states that he is mad - and he's not going to take it anymore!

Just then, the TMNT come crashing through the window and battle the 'borg, who finally reveals his name to be Vid Vicious. Vid dives into a nearby computer monitor, with Donatello close on his heels. The two are transported to a bizarre dimension and begin to fight, as the others ponder how to rescue their brother. Suddenly, the Shredder arrives with a gang of Super Foot Soldiers! A fight breaks out, and Shredhead manages to download Vid and Don to disc before destroying the computer. With his prisoners in hand, Shredder escapes!

The Shredder makes his escape with the disc containing Vid Vicious and Donatello, leaving Master Splinter, Leonardo, Michaelangelo and April to look for clues. The Sensei notes that the best clue is the remains of the defeated Foot robots themselves. Noting that they've recently encountered another robotic Foot foe, the foursome heads to Chinatown to investigate the building that had housed the giant Foot robot.

Upon investigating the abandoned structure, our heroes find a matchbook from Acme Traps. Splinter notes that the Shredder is leaving them obvious clues and thus they are probably walking into an obvious trap - but they must save Donatello, so the protagonists head to the headquarters for Acme Traps. Meanwhile, the Shredder opens the disc containing Vid and Don. Vicious escapes by flying out of a window, and Donatello uses the distraction to attack Shredhead. Unfortunately the ticked off turtle is no match for Saki and his robot minions, and is quickly subdued.

The door to the Acme Traps building is unlocked, allowing easy access for Leo, Splinter, Mike and Splinterm, who proceed warily. They quickly discover that Don has been tied up and hung from the ceiling of the high room. There are three doors on the ground floor, and Leonardo, Michaelangelo and April head off to investigate them. Splinter sits and ponders why Shredder has only left three doorways for four foes, when he spots another route. Meanwhile, Mikey runs into some Foot robots and defeats them with ease while Leo and April discover that their doorways connected them to a circular hallway. After climbing a ladder and walking a scaffold, Splinter soon runs into Shredder and the two begin to fight. The Sensei leaps through a broken window to the structure's rooftop, with Shredder close behind him. The two old enemies exchange blows, but Shredhead wins the battle when Splinter's coat gets entagled with Acme Traps' billboard.

Shredder moves in to deal the killing blow, but a mysterious stranger arrives in a red cloak and kicks Saki's butt. Leo, Mike and April arrive on the roof and help Splinter down - and as they wonder who their rescuer might be, the red cloaked fighter reveals himself to be none other than Raphael! As everyone greets the fiery mutant, Shredder makes his escape.

The TMNT are enjoying Donatello's latest creation - a sewer hot tub. April decides that bathing in warm sewer water isn't anything that she's interested in doing and heads off to stand watch. Raph explains that Cudley the Cowlick brought him home after his outer space adventure with the Mighty Mutanimals. Meanwhile, in Dimension X, Krang discovers an unexpected ally on Morbus, the garbage world where he'd been banished to by Cherubae.

Back on Earth, April discovers an approaching intruder - who turns out to be Master Splinter. The Sensei tells O'Neil that it's time for her next lesson, and he admonsihes the TMNT. Splinter's not happy that his four mutant students are lounging about. The riled rodent orders the Turtles to get busy finding the Shredder before anything else terrible happens. Raph is happy to be proactive, but the Sensei reminds him that he needs to work with his brothers rather than on his own.

Slash demands that Krang help him find his palm tree - or die! The brainy alien quickly surmises the circumstances and promises to take Slash to a world filled with palm trees, and thus Krang has found his next minion. The two set off together and Slash explains that he was sentenced to a prison term on Morbus - as many other unsavory characters have been. The toxicity of the place usually kills prisoners, but some can survive in the environment. As the Turtles transverse the sewers, they come upon a group of men who are assembling a bazooka.

Back on Morbus, Slash and Krang spot a landing spacecraft. As the villains close to investigate, two armed guards escort a chained prisoner named Bellybomb off the ship. The guards read Bellybomb's long list of offenses and ask him if he has any last words before they abandom him on the toxic planet, to which the cosmic criminal replies, "You neglected to mention my unpaid parking tickets." Krang is most impressed with the toothy alien. The TMNT discover that the men in the sewer plan to use the bazooka to fire a missile through the street and into an armored car's vulnerable underside. The Turtles launch an attack on the would-be thieves.

Slash attacks the guards holding Bellybomb and the two criminals charge into the ship to battle the remaining law men. Krang looks on happily and as he crawls towards the craft, decides that it's time to find a new body. The Turtles easily defeat the well-armed bandits and tie them up, while the villains in Dimension X commandeer the prison ship and set a course for Earth.

Slash, Krang and Bellybomb are on their way to Earth when they decide to stop at a nearby planet and hunt for some lunch - much to their surprise, upon landing they discover Bebop and Rocksteady! The two complain about being bored and join the terrible trio on their trip to our planet.

Meanwhile, the TMNT are on a mission to investigate one of Shredder's numerous bases. As the Turtle boys arrive, they quickly discover that Shredhead is home - and a battle ensues. After a brief skirmish, Krang's spacecraft suddenly smashes through the ceiling and the Turtles are face to face with quite a motley crew. Slash, Bebop and Rocksteady attack the TMNT while Shredder slips away to investigate the spacecraft. Inside the ship, Saki finds Krang and Bellybomb, who gives Shredder a face full of mega-halitosis that knocks the ninja unconscious. The aliens lay Shredder on a table, and Krang proceeds to possess the man in a most disturbing manner.

Bebop and Rocksteady have taken to the streets and rob a pet store of its supply of food. The deadly duo then make their way to the zoo, where they apparently begin to fire their weapons upon caged animals.

Meanwhile, the TMNT are facing their worst (and weirdest) foe yet - the head of Krang on the body of Shredder! With little time to spend gawking at this oddity, the TMNT brace themselves for another attack by Slash, Bellybomb and the Krang-Shredder monstrocity. Early on, Raph entices Slash to run off in search of his palm tree, making the odds better for our heroes. Shortly, Slash finds a pet store and breaks the window to gleefully steal a small plastic palm tree.

Eventually the Turtles' teamwork enables them to get the upper hand in the fight. Raph rips Krang off of Shredder's body, while Mikey twirls his nunchukus and forces Bellybomb to get a giant whiff of his own toxic breath, thus disabling their remaining adversaries. Just as the Green Team is ready to celebrate, Bebop and Rocksteady arrive with a huge array of animals that they've freed from the zoo and level their guns at the Turtles. The TMNT drop their weapons as Shredder awakes. Saki relunctantly states that the Turtles saved his life and dejectedly walks off, but before he gets too far, Leonardo reminds his old foe that he owes the Turtles now. With is head bowed, Saki replies, "I know... I know." and disappears into the night.

Bebop and Rocksteady load the spaceship with their animal companions from the zoo, as well as Krang and Bellybomb, and head for outer space. The Turtles worry that both Shredder and Slash are on the loose again, and make their way back to the sewer.

Bebop and his partner drop Krang and Bellybomb back on the toxic waste planet before returning to the jungle world - which they've decided is home.

REVIEW

This was pretty much the end of this run in my country, so anything after this is new to me. This arc has been in my mind ever since, and each issue has something interesting. Sometimes for the worse.

The first chapter is perhaps the lowest point of the series thus far. With a villain that makes no sense, and even events that make no sense. The guy becomes super-powerful because a satellite fell on him, and he can do almost anything. Then he and Donatello get trapped inside a floppy disk (???).

But after that, things get better. An issue illustrated by Gene Colan (I didn’t realize this as a kid, probably because it was before reading all those Batman comics), then the issue with the cover of what was issue #1 in my country (which was actually issue #5).

The real deal here is Krang and how evil he can be. It is something I never realized by watching the cartoon, but the comic took him more seriously.

The sweetest thing is Slash, looking for his palm tree, something Krang took literally, but becomes very cute when he finally finds a toy palm tree.

To me this was the perfect conclusion for the run, and having just read the following filler episodes, I can imagine why.

There is a back-up story that will continue for a few issues about April and Splinter in Chinatown, I will probably talk about it when that story finally starts.

The purpose of this story is pretty obvious now, they wanted to make a distinction between this comic and the cartoon, the two were very different at this point. The most evident difference is April and anything around Channel 6. April is a better character in this comic than in the cartoon, and a character female readers could be interested in.

I give the story a score of 7.

[maryjeanstar]

Karkov Goes Klubbing

Karkov was his name. His favorite thing to eat for lunch was green pepper roasted in olive oil. He had a chainsaw for a neck, and when he laughed, the chains would rattle and the engine would stutter.

He lived alone in a studio apartment, and most nights he ate frozen pizza. But on Fridays, he got to go out to the club.

Today was another Friday night, and after a long day at the carpentry shop, Karkov was eager to let loose and party. He’d saved a few scraps of roast green pepper to munch on his way to the bus stop, and skipped over the sidewalk tiles with a light hearted gait.

He was almost there when the bus showed up and zoomed right by it.

Hot damn! That means he has to wait for ten whole minutes. That’s ten minutes of his dance time taken by an early bus. Karkov was furious. His chain neck roared and he bent down to sever a tree. Sawdust coated the bus stop, flying into the one-way street in a storm. The tree came down, all twenty feet of it, its bare branches hitting a car on their way down. The car screeched to a halt, skidding on the wet asphalt and ramming into the bus stop pole. The driver rolled her window down. “Oi what the fudgesicles I’m gonna be late to the club because of this!”

It was Chessa. She was a red haired bazookateer, and she had the bazooka to prove it. It was fully armed, and she propped it on the roof of her car to aim at the sonofabitch who just hit her car with a tree.

Karkov faced the bazooka with fear in his eyes, but the flame in his heart could not be squelched by even the deepest of pits. He was gonna dance, damn it. He opened his mouth and a roar of chainsaw came out because that was his throat.

Chessa heard and understood. “You. You’re going my way, aren’t you?” She put her bazooka in the backseat and beckoned the carpenter. “Get in stud.”

Karkov sat in the car with his head hanging out the window because it wouldn’t fit. Chessa buckled him in for him, and told him to try not to laugh. She backed out of the bus pole and gunned it down the street. “I’m just gonna say,” she said without taking her eyes off the road, “I need you to know, that although I’m mad at you for stopping me, I’m not gonna spend a minute of my friday being upset at you because that is NOT how I wanna spend my friday, not this friday, not ANY friday. You run into me any other day of the week though bub, I will see to it personally you feel my wrath you goddamn tree-hating freakazoid.”

Karkov laughed so hard his chainsaw went full-power and cut the front passenger door clean off the car. It fell onto the road, cutting off a cement truck and forcing it to stop.

Chessa screamed in rage. It was all she could do to keep from shoving Karkov out and pulling over to blast him with her bazooka. Her screaming was so angry Karkov found himself laughing again, and he buzzed his way into the roof so he could sit straight up, his head sticking out the top of the car like a domino’s pizza delivery logo.

Finally they arrived. Chessa got out, grabbed her bazooka, and gave Karkov one last dirty look. “I hate you,” she said. “I hate you so much. But damn you’re hot, c’mon let’s dance.”

At the club Chessa danced with Karkov, she used her bazooka as like a makeshift cane to tap dance around, and Karkov roared his neck as he danced, and it got everyone to stay clear. Except the planet Jupiter, which bumbled over to ask Karkov if he’d like to dance with it instead. Karkov was swept up into the gas giant’s atmosphere, his body pulverized to microscopic shreds by the exponentially devastating air pressure.

Chessa slapped her hands against her thighs and scoffed. “Man Jupiter what gives, I was just having fun with him and you had to go and show up what the fudgesicles man.”

Jupiter spun on its axis at about a twelfth a rotation per hour, then said “oh sorry, heh, I uh, guess I just really wanted to dance with someone as beefy and ripped as me.”

“You don’t have a muscle in you you big ball of gas, quit flattering yourself there is literally nothing I find attractive about you.”

“How about my gravity?”

“OH ha ha! Fuck you Jupiter.” Chessa launched a missile at Jupiter. The missile exploded long before reaching jupiter’s liquid hydrogen surface, torn apart by the sheer density of its atmosphere. Nonetheless, Jupiter backed away, lowering its magnetic pole.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry Chessa, I’ll leave you alone.” It went to dance up on the balcony.

A beam of blue light zipped down to the floor by Chessa, materializing as Karkov, the chainsaw-for-a-neck guy who’s a carpenter and who now no longer has a continue saved up. He and Chessa ended up tango-dancing the rest of the night together, and by the end Chessa gave him a peck on the nipple.

The club’s many members started home with bags beneath their eyes. Jupiter’s red spot was looking drained, it had danced so hard it shook the heavens, but lost a few moons. Metis had landed on the bar, and would have crushed it and the entire state county if not for the clubhouse’s particular lax on spacial existentialism.

“Kar,” Chessa said as she carried Karkov to her car. “I’ve changed my mind. If I happen to see you any time of the week... well...” she started to blush.

Karkov laughed, roaring his chainsaw right in Chessa’s shoulder and causing her to fall over. Chessa laughed too, then stopped laughing as she realized Karkov’s neck had dug a red canyon into her flesh, and it was pouring blood onto the deserted dance floor. She fell, dropping Karkov. “Oh god, ah! Kar I’m— FUDGESICLES this hurts!”

Karkov stood up, looking around for help. An orange hedgehog stood leaning against a wall talking to a white jerboa. Karkov roared his throat to get their attention, but it was no use; they’d been ignoring him all night because of how loud his neck was.

Chessa screamed “HELP I’m BLEEDING call an ambulance!”

The orange hedgehog who’s name was B’juh perked his ears at Chessa’s pleas and leaped forward. “Making the call to answer the call for help is the greatest heroic deed of all!” He started running very slowly towards the clubhouse phone. His friend ended up getting there first and bringing the phone to him. B’juh dialed an ambulance. “Hello? This is B’juh the hedgehog! I’m calling for an ambulance!” He hung up. “Even if your best is not enough, it’s the effort that matters most in the end!”

“Jesus god damn!” Chessa cried out. She’d cupped her hand on the wound, but it was no clean cut, and pressure was doing little to stop the bleeding. Karkov would have offered to tie a tourniquet with his shirt sleeve but he had no shirt. He couldn’t phone an ambulance himself because he had no voice. He didn’t know what to do. Karkov stood over Chessa, watching her face turn pale. He lifted and lowered his hands, unsure if anything he did would worsen the situation, or simply be a waste of time.

Chessa’s right hand was numb. She bit her lip and ground her teeth against the burning pain in her shoulder. She screamed against it to stay awake, but the world outside her body was turning gray. She looked into Karkov’s helpless face watching her die. He was terrified and devastated.

“Kar,” she said, her own voice a mile away. “Kar it’s gonna be okay. It’s not your fault, I’ll be just fine... just a flesh wound, heh.” Chessa wanted to smile, to show Karkov she was okay, to tell him she didn’t hate him anymore, but her face muscles wouldn’t register anymore. An orange hedgehog’s face appeared over her, and she heard the words Remember, never give up! Nothing is impossible! Then a warm tingling feeling encompassed her and she drifted into darkness.

Karkov’s eyes were leaking. He was on his knees in the puddle of Chessa’s blood, watching the light in her eyes grow dim. The hedgehog had come over to offer some advice, but the carpenter did not hear it. Gently, he closed Chessa’s eyes, and he placed her bazooka beside her.

Then he stood. He turned away. He stumbled to the doors, his heart crumbling. Her blood dripped off his bladed neck onto the nipple she had kissed. Karkov slammed his fist into the doorway and screamed. His scream sent flecks of blood all over the entrance as the chains spun madly beneath his head.

“Expressing yourself honestly is the first step in emotional recovery!” B’juh the Hedgehog said. He was then lacerated to bits by the carpenter’s honest feelings.

The jerboa gave an ironic smile. “Hey, someone actually took your advice,” he said to what was left of B’juh.

B’juh’s corpse said nothing.

[shadie-cat]

[Chapter 2-12 start]

Have you given up on being relevant, yet? You'll be back, don't worry. Instead, you should worry about the giant robot attacking the city.

Yep, you read that right. There's a giant robot stomping around in the middle of the city. How rude! And it's not one of those car-sized ones either. This is the kind that could fight a kaiju and win. It's not knocking down buildings or trying to kill large amounts of people. Most it's doing is throwing cars but it seems to be avoiding hurting innocents. Upon closer examination, there's actually someone piloting the robot, but you don't know who because you're not there.

There are a few people who aren't running. Out of those people you recognize Red and Blue. It's worth noting that Green is also there. He's trying to run but Blue has dragged him back to the scene. "Quit being a coward, already and help us!" Blue says pulling him by the arm.

"Let me go!" Green is trying to pry Blue's fingers from his arm. "This has nothing to do with me!"

"Are you kidding? Ever since we got here that thing has been targeting-" Blue is interrupted by a car falling from the sky, nearly hitting Red. Oh, yeah. The robot is avoiding hurting innocents, but there is no context in which you could call Red innocent.

Red recovers from her near hit, flips the robot the bird, and pulls out a bazooka. Blue and Green watch as she fires it and misses. The robot then lifted it's arm, ready to return fire with a similar attack. It was probably going to shoot a missile out of it's hand or maybe shoot the hand itself; you've seen movies. However, before it does, a wheel hits it. The giant enemy robot is confused. It looks over to see that Blue has pulled a wheel off of one of the busted cars and thrown it at the robot. This got its attention. Blue always did like attention.

He called out to the robot, making sure it was fully distracted. He quickly glanced over at Green only to find that Green had run to hide elsewhere. This makes Blue a bit angry. The clearly human operated robot picked up another car and threw it. Blue dodged it dramatically.

Meanwhile, Green was standing in a crowd of other onlookers. They are in the middle of the city afterall and blending in is the key to a good hiding spot. Despite what you might think, the crowd isn't really all that scared. Some are filming, some are calling their car insurance company, and the others are just enjoying the excuse to skip work on this fine Tuesday afternoon.

But, the battle doesn't last much longer before the robot takes some sort of explosion to the back. It goes down, destroying more cars in the process.

"Yeah!" Blue yelled triumphantly. Because that's what you say after defeating a menace against the city's roadway safety. Blue is still as predictable as always. Anyways, he looks over at Red and continues shouting, "Good job! We really showed that thing who's boss!"

Red looks forward with a dazed expression and says, "That wasn't me."

The smoke starts to fade as the rubble settles onto the broken asphalt below. A figure can be seen emerging. A man with a mission. An entity that carries a suspicious air about him. A "robber" that has yet to pay up on his half of the deal. Yep. It's Orange. He's here.

Orange walks around in the rubble. He seems to be looking for something. Green walks to join Blue who promptly hits him upside the head for ditching him. Blue then starts walking towards Orange. "Who exactly are you?" he asks. Orange ignores him. This makes Blue a bit angry. Blue always did like attention. This wasn't attention.

A large piece of metal shifts slightly before being shoved out of the way, revealing the pilot of the now long lost giant robot. It was none other than Pink. Orange lifts Pink out of the rubble by the collar of his shirt. Real jerk move, one only done in movies to look cool.

"Who are these people?" Blue exclaimes. He's getting more confused by the second.

"A burglar and a bitch," Red says nonchalantly.

"Actually," Orange corrects her, "we're a liar and a henchman."

"Oh, telemarketers," Green says. Everyone ignores him.

Another voice comes from the debris. It's staticy. "Jack? Are you there? Come in, Jack!" Red rummages around and finds a slightly beaten up walkie talkie. Orange holds out his hand and Red hands it to him. Pink looks like he's given up on life.

Orange takes the walkie talkie and speaks to whoever it is on the other side. He says, "Evil scientist! I have foiled your plans yet again! Face me man to man, once and for all!"

"Uh, no," the walkie talkie speaks. "I don't think I'll be doing that."

"That's because you know I'll win."

"And?"

"It's inevitable! Just let it happen."

"No."

"You'll keep sending robots and I'll keep destroying them. It's not worth it in the long run." There's a pause. "Hello?"

"Goodbye."

Orange continues to yell into the walkie talkie but gets no more replies. It isn't until he's done yelling that he realizes Pink had gotten away. He asks the RGB trio but apparently they had all simultaneously blinked! Darn!

"Can somebody please explain what just happened? And who exactly are you??" Blue asked. Green nodded in shared confusion.

"Don't worry about it. All you need to know right now is that I'm here to help," Orange said.

"Help with what exactly?" Red asked. She wasn't sure what he was after.

"Finding your friend?"

"Julie's at work."

"No, the other one. Yellow."

The faces of your friends light up with realization. They didn't know you were gone. At all. No clue. Terrible friends. Simply awful.

[Chapter 2-12 end]

[italicwatches]

Animal Sentai Zyuohger - Episode 04

I can only hope this is as fun as it looked in the preview. Anyways, it’s Animal Sentai Zyuohger, episode 04! Here we GO!

-We begin out on the coast, with…various duos being netted and captured by Kubar’s first MotW!

-And the next morning, Yamato learns that Sela and Amu got sent out shopping together. …Oh god. You sent Amu out with access to money?! Also Mario is in a sheep costume. We will not be engaging with that. Also, Leo went to follow them, so it’s just Tusk left here out of the four. …Leo just wanted to get out of laundry, didn’t he.

-It’s more that he’s all protective about women. Comes from being a lion. And out in the field, he’s more than happy to carry Amu’s purchases, her many many purchases…When a shiver runs up their tails. A Dethgalien!

-Who, aside from having a design that I might steal the next time I play a Warforged, has gathered all these duos up and is gonna make them fight to the death to escape his battle game. Fight your friend! Only the winner can escape! MWAHAHAHAHA.

-And back up at the Big Bow, Genis is fucking loving this show. You have some fine tastes in your creation, Kubar. And such an excellently paired wine to go with the show. While, down on the field, the shopping trio find this situation…

-Opening! With their gaze locked on the distant hopes…

-Episode 04! Roar in the Ring!

-So finally, one of the two guys forced to fight each other manages to knock out his best friend, and gets escorted out…While his friend is turned into a barrel?! And now, his spirit will wander the cosmos, for eternity. …Fuck.

-Instincts Awakened! So this cannot be allowed to stand. The MotW sends his mooks out to fight, with Lion cornering him up while Tiger focuses on rescue…Which leads to the bastard throwing one of his nets at her, and Lion and Shark leaping in to try and stop it aaaand they’ve been captured. Naturally. And Tiger can’t hold the MotW off on her own, as he manages to escape with Sela and Leo in tow! Oh shit oh shit oh shit.

-The good news is, she manages to undo the barrel transformation to the guy…But that does little for the immediate problem, as soon Eagle’s out searching for where they could have been taken…

-He meets up with Tusk and Amu, who’ve been searching on foot, but they’ve got nothing. Not a single clue, or lead, or…Or…He sees a doggy sniffing around the park, and suddenly gets a plan. They don’t need to track by sight, they need to track by scent!

-Cut over to the wrassling ring. Where Leo and Sela find themselves expected to fight…And they’ve had their Symbols taken, too! Only the winner gets a chance to challenge him for their Symbol. Who will sacrifice themselves, and who will strive for life…?

-Leo forces himself to stand, and yeah he’s planning to sacrifice himself.

-Back at the cabin, Yamato digs through the laundry, and finds…Some of Leo’s socks. Tusk, I have good news and bad news. It’s Leo’s or, hey, here’s Sela’s! …Pick horrible lion man stink, or a reputation as a pervert. PICK ONE.

-Horrible lion man stink it is. I’m sorry, Tusk.

-To the ring! Where Leo is totally faking a fight and Sela sees right through it. Quit this bullshit, jackass. She’s a champion. A shark. One of the sea’s greatest hunters, and her people’s finest warrior! She, does not, need, to be treated with kid gloves!

-So the MotW is bored of them fighting with words and not fists. You both get to be barrels! No, no, Sela’s gonna fight. She’s got a lot to work out on this jackass. As out come the claws, the fangs, and the real fight begins!

-And Genis is loving this shiiiiit.

-And this fight is up a level. Leo’s not fucking around now…And he’s not holding himself to any rules, either. He’s got enough raw strength to just throw Sela around and keep her from using any of her techniques, as he forces it to a single final clash…

-When the others arrive, at the last second! Instincts Awakened! Tiger and Elephant start blasting the ring apart, while Eagle snatches the Symbols right out of the MotW’s hands! Now, you two take a breather, they’ve got…

-Eagle. You have literally no idea how angry Sela is. Literally, no, idea. And she is going to take all of it out on the bad guy because otherwise she might actually kill Leo. And he’s got his own furious pride…

-So SHARK LION! Instincts Aakened!

-Champion of the soaring sky…ZYUOH EAGLE! Champion of the surging waves…ZYUOH SHARK! Champion of the savannah…ZYUOH LION! Champion of the forest…ZYUOH ELEPHANT! Champion of the Snowy drifts…ZYUOH TIGER! Animal Sentai, ZYUOHGER!

-And the fight is on, with a surging insert song to rally all the little children watching. And Lion and Shark completely skip the mooks, focusing entirely on the MotW to work out all their anger at the situation…And when they’re both against someone they can just go all out on, they’re both scary ferocious.

-We even get to see Lion’s full strength when he’s not worried about the other guy surviving, when he catches a battle axe between its blades, rips it out of both of the monster’s hands, and then cuts through his armor…And gets a nice big opening! NOW!

-Shark kicks out her Beast Unleashed fin, and then it’s a vicious saw blade strike, that opens things up as everyone gathers, for a combined ZYUOH SLASH and ZYUOH SHOOT! Shark and Tiger of course get the Slashes in, delivering the proper final blow and deciding the fight and she is, quite possibly, even more mad at Lion than she was before.

-Of course, such a good and effective monster of the week gets another round! So out come the Zyuoh Cubes, and let’s cut straight to Animal Combination! THREE! TWO! ONE! ZYUOH KING!

-And so it’s axe versus sword, a classic Fire Emblem matchup if I ever saw one…Though of course, with Elephant and Tiger providing support. I mean, until they get bound in giant netting! Well that’s a problem.

-Cube Giraffe! Go suck them free! And then, Giraffe Bazooka! ZYUOH FIRE!

-You ever get the feeling that their hearts just aren’t in the mecha fights anymore? These things get more and more by the numbers with every season…Maybe it’s just that they don’t have the fun gimmicks yet.

-In the aftermath, Yamato’s patching Leo back up, and Sela finally confronts him properly about the fact that he held back. Again. …Heeeee’s gonna go. And she has every intention of forcing a real fight one day, even as Leo’s pride refuses to allow it…

-But late that night…A gorilla zyuman pours himself tea into a cube teacup…

-Credits! …I’ll tell you a good trick!

And again I’m left with the idea that the character beats are doing more interesting stuff than the fight choreography. The wrestling match stuff was really cool, mind you, but the actual fighting in sentai suits was just, kinda, standard. Some of that might simply be how many of these damn things I’ve watched, of course. Or it might be that they still need to get some more gimmicks onto the field. We’ll see, and hopefully learn about this gorilla man, next time in episode FIVE of Animal Sentai Zyuohger! Wait for it!

[krixwell-liveblogs]

“Gun oil,” Stormtiger called out, whipping around to face Grue.  “I smell gun oil.”

Is that what he’s carrying? A barrel of oil?

Or... a coddamn bazooka?!

That would certainly explain why Taylor’s in such a hurry to get the hell out of Dodge.

Grue hefted the long metal object back with both hands, then flung it forward.

...that doesn’t sounds like something you’d do with a bazooka, though.

He didn’t drop both his arms as he let go.  Instead, he used his left hand to follow up with a directed blast of darkness to cover it as it rolled into the clearing.

I clamped my hands to my ears, painful as it was with the bandage on my right ear.

A grenade launcher? Though it sounds like he’s throwing the whole thing. Some kind of giant makeshift bomb? Why would he prepare to throw that towards Taylor was, though?

Grue’s right hand was already withdrawing a gun from his jacket pocket as he backed up.

Ah, okay, I’m going back to the barrel of oil, to be ignited with a gunshot once Taylor is out of harm’s way.

His arm jerked twice as he fired the gun at the oxygen tank he’d fetched from the back of the ambulance.  The first shot missed.  The second didn’t.

...close enough. Makes a whole lot more sense to keep this in an ambulance, anyway.