#but going through old art reminded me
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The hesitant alien
#Can't beliebe I never posted this here actually#Not even my style idk what happened#i drew this last year btw its old as hell#but going through old art reminded me#mcr#my chemical romance#gerard way#hesitant alien
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I never quite finished these two cards the first time i tried making a PJO major arcana and I never posted them. I really like the designs though so I’ll probably try to do something similar when I draft them again
#pjo#riordanverse#nico di angelo#leo valdez#my art#tarot#hoo#the main thing i wanted to adjust for the Leo card was the Festus cause. i was struggling to simplify a mechanical dragon for tarot#also wasn't 100% on the embers detail cause wasnt sure how well that'd translate to a physical card#nico's was pretty close to done though#also i never figured out a boarder / font#im still obsessed with the way Leo was described during the fight in the end of BoO for the record#just ''yup he was MADE OF FIRE'' so cool#i can go through my list of my card assignments if anyone's curious#a couple of cards arent fully solidly decided but a decent amount are#also looking at my old art is reminding me the colors on my old monitor were a Lil Skewed#so saturated....#nico's card will prob stay mostly the same though cause hell yeah that rocks. still love it.#if anyone's curious for these card reasonings -#judgement is traditionally depicted with an angel raising the dead and the planetary association is pluto.#i couldn't NOT. also card meanings: destiny / upcoming decision / putting past behind / healing / judgement / self-reflect / self-doubt#which is very nico vibes to me#then death is resistance to change / major change / endings & start of something new / personal transformation#which feels very Leo to me! plus i like the imagery of instead of Death on a horse it's Leo on Festus at the end of BoO#cause that was him ending a chapter of him trying to find himself and starting anew
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kinda forgot to post these when lamplighter was visiting but oh well
honestly they're one of those characters where I'm surprised to have never seen anyone call them babygirl
click for better quality because tumblr ate the pixels (digital artists do not know the pain of trying to take a decent-quality picture of a drawing without your tablet casting a shadow on the paper)
#sky children of the light#sky cotl#skyblr#skykid#sky children fanart#sky cotl art#season of the little prince#stretching lamplighter#oc: blitzen#merc makes stuff#< oh look an art tag that's new#someone remind me to go through my old posts and put that on my art stuff
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hm.... exploring jake as nonbinary/agender who very much performs the act of masculinity because that is what is expected of him and coming to terms that he doesn't have to be, maybe he doesn't have to force himself into that mould
#lohst.txt#bmc#be more chill#jake dillinger#something something masculinity is a chore and its so hard to perform all the time#something something what is expected of him vs what he wants#something something everything he does is a performance he doesn't know where he ends and his persona begins#hi hey anyway i was reminded how much i liked that concept while going through old posts from like 2017/2018 on this blog#art and posts about jake being non binary or agender#also lowkey inspired by me being more comfortable expressing/performing femininity after coming to terms with being non binary#something about it being a choice to present that way rather than feeling forced#i dunno how to explain it#its weird#its lowkey projecting onto fictional characters again#there's probably a better way for me to actually articulate what i mean#with jake being. like. the definition of masculinity#the goal of what jeremy and rich's squips want them to aspire to be like. yknow?#but everything he does is what he feels like everyone expects him to do#he's supposed to be perfect#but what he's supposed to be does not align with what he wants#anyway. this has been another edition of lara's late night rambles
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okay, so, I've collected a bunch of DP fandom stuff that I remember off the top of my head, specifically in chronological order & colour coded here in this post (fics/comics, tumblr posts, important imo) for no reason other than I saw a post asking for Phandom history & it triggered my biggest, most long-running hyperfixation & now I'm curious if anyone else remembers stuff.
this link is going to be the permanent version I will be updating, but I'm posting what I currently have (gonna go through my old laptop later for more) just to let people know. you can also find the link on my blog, but only on desktop. It isn't colour coded there, sorry.
please share more if you got anything else cuz I'm 100% sure I'm missing a lot of stuff & am too interested now. the biggest reason a lot of stuff isn't here is that I simply can't find it. second biggest reason is i forgor. things not included here aren't "unimportant," this is just the first stuff that comes to mind.
putting it under a cut 'cause it got kinda long
Mars by JadeRabbyt (2005)
Checkmate by pearl84 (2006)
Conversations of a Ghost Gabber by Cordria (2006)
The Foley Maneuver by bluemoonalto (2007)
One Thousand Years by Nylah (2008)
Lab Rat by AnneriaWings (2009)
Lost by Cordria (2010?) [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]
Phantom of Truth by Haiju (2011)
Ghost Deaths (2012)
Through Coals and Rain by Kakawot (2012)
Shadow of a Doubt by Haiju (2013)
Pink Pants (2013?)
Wes (2014) [original] [1] [2] [3] [4]
this "I'm Inevitable" gif (2014)
Space AU (2014)
Treading Water by The Full Catastrophe (2014)
Danny, you dead IDIOT!! comic (2014)
wash away the darkest days by anthrop (2014)
Reverse Trio (2014)
Inverse Trio (2014-2016) ALT
Halfas are "feral children" (2015)
Burn the Streets, Burn the Cars by anthrop (2015)
It's Not Gay if He's Dead by phantomrose96 (2015)
You Smell Like Death by starfleetrambo (2015)
Ghost Bird AU by @rest-in-peachs (2016?)
Things I Can(not) Do In Amity Park by RedHeadsRock1010 (2016)
KEtTLE by Cordria (2016)
Deeper, Darker by Silvermoonphantom (2016)
Danny Phantom Punches Butch Hartman In The Face by MistressVintage (2017)
Dannypocalypse (2017)
Ghost Train (2017?)
Ghost Physics by jayrockin (2017)
Ghost Infographics (2018)
The Taxonomy of Ghost Cores: An Observational Study (2018) Communicating with Ghosts Professionally: A Study (2018)
Species in Danny Phantom (2018?)
Diddles Piddles by diddly-darn-ghost (2018)
Broken Ectoplasm by ghostanimal (2019)
Ghost of Heroes by Enigmaris & ScarletNightFury (2019-2020)
do not stand at my grave and cry (i am not there, i did not die) by blueh (2020)
Undercover Phantom by artistfingers (2021)
Corruption is a Two Way Street by datawyrms (2021)
Things That Bleed by artistfingers, kkachis, & Perfectly_Inconspicuous (2022)
10,000 works on AO3 (2022)
Ghost Speak:
Danny's handwriting (2015?)
Cordria (2015)
Fiver-Rivers [1] [2] [3] (2019)
Rubber Chicken Sounds (2019)
#Danny Phantom#Phandom History Archive#do you even understand how hard it was to find the original Wes post????????#i spent like 2 hours on that alone#Wes Weston why are you so hard to find#just realizing that a lot of shit happened in 2014#like. 2014/2015 ish#i joined somewhere between 2014 & 2016 so i guess i literally came here right at the peak of phandom activity#the height of tumblr's paranormal activity. you might say#i think i'm just biased though#should i put my own fics on here. Phantom is pretty important to me being my first DP fic#& also the thing that got me back into writing#it's not very good but by god if i dont love it. & anyways i put Bird AU on here lol i think i can put Phantom up at some point. as a treat#also if any links are broken tell me cuz i'm not checking them again. it's 4am#reminder: gotta find those Bird AU fics i read & put em here. there ARE actual Bird AU fics. i know there are. i did not hallucinate that#it just might be the hardest thing on earth to do since that was years ago & i have no idea what they were called#anyway gonna add a fuckton of fics & (hopefully) tumblr posts when i go through my old laptop. i got everything bookmarked on there#like. so many fics. i had them organized too based on what kind of fic it was. but they all have stupid names cuz i was like 15#me: i should do my stencil art today. just to be a bit productive & also maybe make money#my brain: what if you organized Danny Phantom fandom posts into a big archive for people to look at? for free. until 4am.#me: you know what that sounds so much better let's do that
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So! Art posts are now tagged with #artkkun; only the og post, tho! Any reblogs will ofc be tagged with #srb; I usually go back and delete srb at the end of the day, tho.
#personal#not art#kinda fun going through all my art#it was so funny going through all the bsd fanart lmao#i really was just fandom hopping before bsd huh#i think the thing i posted most consistently before that was p5#also reminded me about my OCs LMFAO#I'll go through an OC phase again at some point#when was the last time i drew this kuch fanart for a fandom.....#was it my tokyo ghoul days? 🤔 2016/2017ish?#maybe I'll post some old art again who knows#rambly tags are meant for the fandom blog not the art one aaahh the most 😫😫
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I can't remember who it is who recommended corru.observer to me but wow I'm obsessed
#corru.observer#indie games#played it last night#sadly I *think* I've lost my progress since I didn't finish it then#but that's fine#I can play it again#also yes this is me recommending corru.observer to you#it's entirely browser based so you don't need to download anything#the gameplay and general vibes remind me of the ENA series#but with a totally different art style (I don't really know how to describe it... it's like if old black-white photos were cmyk pixel art)#it's bizarre and I had no idea what was going on until halfway through. it's great
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Sometimes you have to be yourself on purpose. What I mean by this is that sometimes we lose touch with ourselves and start coasting and just going through the motions. Which is fine for a while because we get tired and/or depressed and that's fine. Happens to everyone. But eventually it starts to feel bad and you get a specific kind of brainweird that's hard to describe but means that you've lost sight of who you are, what your values are, and what you love.
Leaning really hard into something that makes you go "this is the most me thing ever" helps that specific type of brainweird quite a bit! But maybe you don't know what the most you thing ever is. You are not alone! I get depressed and forget every interest I have. 100% understand that.
When this happens, it helps to remind yourself what you like and enjoy. So what do you do? Well for me, it helps to think about 1. Things I used to enjoy and 2. Things my friends Know Me For.
Like I've been feeling not myself lately and I haven't really knit or created much this month at all. But I'm the Makes Things Guy. I like making things and many of my friends not only know me as someone who makes things but a lot of my friendships specifically come from communities of People Who Make Things.
So I forced myself to pick up an old project, and that helped a bit. But what really helped was coming up with a project that combined my interests (leather jackets, art, and teapots) for me to look forward to and get really into planning for! The most ME I've felt in weeks has been the last hour I've spent planning on painting a famous fine China design on the back of my leather trenchcoat. Because not ONLY am I the Makes Things Guy, I am also The Teapot Guy. I finally feel like myself again.
I wish I had more concrete advice in regards to how you remember your own interests when you get disconnected from them, but a solid place to start is things you used to like and things your friends know you like. If you struggle consider asking a friend what things they know you like. Sometimes friends can see us better than we can see ourselves and it helps to use them as a mirror to see yourself through.
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Why reblog machine-generated art?
When I was ten years old I took a photography class where we developed black and white photos by projecting light on papers bathed in chemicals. If we wanted to change something in the image, we had to go through a gradual, arduous process called dodging and burning.
When I was fifteen years old I used photoshop for the first time, and I remember clicking on the clone tool or the blur tool and feeling like I was cheating.
When I was twenty eight I got my first smartphone. The phone could edit photos. A few taps with my thumb were enough to apply filters and change contrast and even spot correct. I was holding in my hand something more powerful than the huge light machines I'd first used to edit images.
When I was thirty six, just a few weeks ago, I took a photo class that used Lightroom Classic and again, it felt like cheating. It made me really understand how much the color profiles of popular web images I'd been seeing for years had been pumped and tweaked and layered with local edits to make something that, to my eyes, didn't much resemble photography. To me, photography is light on paper. It's what you capture in the lens. It's not automatic skin smoothing and a local filter to boost the sky. This reminded me a lot more of the photomanipulations my friend used to make on deviantart; layered things with unnatural colors that put wings on buildings or turned an eye into a swimming pool. It didn't remake the images to that extent, obviously, but it tipped into the uncanny valley. More real than real, more saturated more sharp and more present than the actual world my lens saw. And that was before I found the AI assisted filters and the tool that would identify the whole sky for you, picking pieces of it out from between leaves.
You know, it's funny, when people talk about artists who might lose their jobs to AI they don't talk about the people who have already had to move on from their photo editing work because of technology. You used to be able to get paid for basic photo manipulation, you know? If you were quick with a lasso or skilled with masks you could get a pretty decent chunk of change by pulling subjects out of backgrounds for family holiday cards or isolating the pies on the menu for a mom and pop. Not a lot, but enough to help. But, of course, you can just do that on your phone now. There's no need to pay a human for it, even if they might do a better job or be more considerate toward the aesthetic of an image.
And they certainly don't talk about all the development labs that went away, or the way that you could have trained to be a studio photographer if you wanted to take good photos of your family to hang on the walls and that digital photography allowed in a parade of amateurs who can make dozens of iterations of the same bad photo until they hit on a good one by sheer volume and luck; if you want to be a good photographer everyone can do that why didn't you train for it and spend a long time taking photos on film and being okay with bad photography don't you know that digital photography drove thousands of people out of their jobs.
My dad told me that he plays with AI the other day. He hosts a movie podcast and he puts up thumbnails for the downloads. In the past, he'd just take a screengrab from the film. Now he tells the Bing AI to make him little vignettes. A cowboy running away from a rhino, a dragon arm-wrestling a teddy bear. That kind of thing. Usually based on a joke that was made on the show, or about the subject of the film and an interest of the guest.
People talk about "well AI art doesn't allow people to create things, people were already able to create things, if they wanted to create things they should learn to create things." Not everyone wants to make good art that's creative. Even fewer people want to put the effort into making bad art for something that they aren't passionate about. Some people want filler to go on the cover of their youtube video. My dad isn't going to learn to draw, and as the person who he used to ask to photoshop him as Ant-Man because he certainly couldn't pay anyone for that kind of thing, I think this is a great use case for AI art. This senior citizen isn't going to start cartooning and at two recordings a week with a one-day editing turnaround he doesn't even really have the time for something like a Fiverr commission. This is a great use of AI art, actually.
I also know an artist who is going Hog Fucking Wild creating AI art of their blorbos. They're genuinely an incredibly talented artist who happens to want to see their niche interest represented visually without having to draw it all themself. They're posting the funny and good results to a small circle of mutuals on socials with clear information about the source of the images; they aren't trying to sell any of the images, they're basically using them as inserts for custom memes. Who is harmed by this person saying "i would like to see my blorbo lasciviously eating an ice cream cone in the is this a pigeon meme"?
The way I use machine-generated art, as an artist, is to proof things. Can I get an explosion to look like this. What would a wall of dead computer monitors look like. Would a ballerina leaping over the grand canyon look cool? Sometimes I use AI art to generate copyright free objects that I can snip for a collage. A lot of the time I use it to generate ideas. I start naming random things and seeing what it shows me and I start getting inspired. I can ask CrAIon for pose reference, I can ask it to show me the interior of spaces from a specific angle.
I profoundly dislike the antipathy that tumblr has for AI art. I understand if people don't want their art used in training pools. I understand if people don't want AI trained on their art to mimic their style. You should absolutely use those tools that poison datasets if you don't want your art included in AI training. I think that's an incredibly appropriate action to take as an artist who doesn't want AI learning from your work.
However I'm pretty fucking aggressively opposed to copyright and most of the "solid" arguments against AI art come down to "the AIs viewed and learned from people's copyrighted artwork and therefore AI is theft rather than fair use" and that's a losing argument for me. In. Like. A lot of ways. Primarily because it is saying that not only is copying someone's art theft, it is saying that looking at and learning from someone's art can be defined as theft rather than fair use.
Also because it's just patently untrue.
But that doesn't really answer your question. Why reblog machine-generated art? Because I liked that piece of art.
It was made by a machine that had looked at billions of images - some copyrighted, some not, some new, some old, some interesting, many boring - and guided by a human and I liked it. It was pretty. It communicated something to me. I looked at an image a machine made - an artificial picture, a total construct, something with no intrinsic meaning - and I felt a sense of quiet and loss and nostalgia. I looked at a collection of automatically arranged pixels and tasted salt and smelled the humidity in the air.
I liked it.
I don't think that all AI art is ugly. I don't think that AI art is all soulless (i actually think that 'having soul' is a bizarre descriptor for art and that lacking soul is an equally bizarre criticism). I don't think that AI art is bad for artists. I think the problem that people have with AI art is capitalism and I don't think that's a problem that can really be laid at the feet of people curating an aesthetic AI art blog on tumblr.
Machine learning isn't the fucking problem the problem is massive corporations have been trying hard not to pay artists for as long as massive corporations have existed (isn't that a b-plot in the shape of water? the neighbor who draws ads gets pushed out of his job by product photography? did you know that as recently as ten years ago NewEgg had in-house photographers who would take pictures of the products so users wouldn't have to rely on the manufacturer photos? I want you to guess what killed that job and I'll give you a hint: it wasn't AI)
Am I putting a human out of a job because I reblogged an AI-generated "photo" of curtains waving in the pale green waters of an imaginary beach? Who would have taken this photo of a place that doesn't exist? Who would have painted this hypersurrealistic image? What meaning would it have had if they had painted it or would it have just been for the aesthetic? Would someone have paid for it or would it be like so many of the things that artists on this site have spent dozens of hours on only to get no attention or value for their work?
My worst ratio of hours to notes is an 8-page hand-drawn detailed ink comic about getting assaulted at a concert and the complicated feelings that evoked that took me weeks of daily drawing after work with something like 54 notes after 8 years; should I be offended if something generated from a prompt has more notes than me? What does that actually get the blogger? Clout? I believe someone said that popularity on tumblr gets you one thing and that is yelled at.
What do you get out of this? Are you helping artists right now? You're helping me, and I'm an artist. I've wanted to unload this opinion for a while because I'm sick of the argument that all Real Artists think AI is bullshit. I'm a Real Artist. I've been paid for Real Art. I've been commissioned as an artist.
And I find a hell of a lot of AI art a lot more interesting than I find human-generated corporate art or Thomas Kincaid (but then, I repeat myself).
There are plenty of people who don't like AI art and don't want to interact with it. I am not one of those people. I thought the gay sex cats were funny and looked good and that shitposting is the ideal use of a machine image generation: to make uncopyrightable images to laugh at.
I think that tumblr has decided to take a principled stand against something that most people making the argument don't understand. I think tumblr's loathing for AI has, generally speaking, thrown weight behind a bunch of ideas that I think are going to be incredibly harmful *to artists specifically* in the long run.
Anyway. If you hate AI art and you don't want to interact with people who interact with it, block me.
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Out of Sunshine
Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Summary: Having forgotten your dinner date, Spencer comforts his usually sunshine girlfriend Trope:Fluff & Comfort w.c: 1.2k a/n: been very overwhelmed with responsibilities and wants lately that I just needed to write a self-indulgent fic. Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated! 💗 masterlist
Spencer’s knock on your apartment door was met with silence. It was a starry Friday night and he had arranged a dinner reservation with you, his girlfriend for a year and a half, to the newly opened French restaurant along the main street. With a certain spring in his step, he settled with Hotch, and by extension the team, that he couldn’t be disturbed unless an emergency case comes in—something he silently wished not to happen. He had also picked up a bouquet of your favorites from the local florist. An array of whites that reminded him of the dress he first saw you wearing at the park.
He knocked again, ears straining to hear anything behind the dark wooden door. There was nothing. He balanced the bouquet on one hand and reached for the phone inside his satchel. It was quite unlike you to not answer the door.
The number you dialed is either unattended—
“Strange,” he muttered under his breath. During his morning phone call with you, a much needed routine to tide him through the macabre of his job, you sounded so excited about the dinner he’d planned and had even promised to wear the same white dress that had plagued his eidetic memory. He chuckled in reply before asking any plans for the day. There was a slight pause on your end, no doubt thinking of ways to pass time before night winds down, and you answer—
The studio, he remembered. You mentioned passing by your art studio to occupy time. He sighed in relief as he enters his vintage blue car parked on the the sidewalk, bouquet placed securely on the passenger seat. The clock on the dashboard tells him there’s still time to make it to the reservation, granted he wasn’t sure if you were ready to go.
A non-descriptive tune played from the radio as he turned left to enter the designated parking space of your studio building. It was a mixture of soft piano keys that sounded like spring and sunshine, both adjectives he loved to use to describe you.
When he finally found the courage to fumble his way in asking for your number, the smile that flashed on your face was blinding. It was as if he stared directly into the sun with little to no protection for his vision.
Over the course of multiple dates, he found himself waxing prose about you in his head. The pinking of your cheeks reminded him of strawberries ripening, so tempting to touch with his own pair of lips. The twinkle in your eyes, full of adoration and trust, made him feel strong and protective—like he was some kind of crow guarding his loot of sparkling treasure. And the bounce in your step wherever you’d go had him envisioning a sprig of wildflowers growing from each footprint, the nymph of his very own Spring.
He let himself in the studio, grateful you’ve trusted him with a spare key. “Sunshine,” he called out.
The light inside the four cornered room was on, windows all open for the paint fumes to escape, and there you were, hunched over an easel, furiously painting without any care of your surroundings.
He called your name, softer this time, as if to slowly ease you out of the artistic trance. The timber of his voice and his sudden presence led you to squeak in surprise, paintbrush dropping on the wooden streaked floor.
“It’s me, sunshine,” he raised his hands in front of him in surrender. “It’s me.”
Your nose scrunched up in question, a streak of blue dried paint on your cheek, adorable. How adorable you were in his eyes.
“What are you doing here?” you bent down to grab the brush before resuming your old position.
“It’s 7:50, love.”
You swiveled to face him, eyes wide in distress. Hands promptly reaching to turn over the faced down phone. “No, no—oh my god, I am so sorry!”
“It’s alright,” he tries to placate you but his words of comfort seem to fall on deaf ears. “Really, it’s alright. It happens to everyone.”
Tears were starting to build up in your eyes. Your hands were wrangling with the apron tied around your waist as you mutter a series of apologies again and again. “I’m sorry. So sorry—we can’t make it to our reservation now, can’t we? Spence, I’m so so sorry. I—I forgot,” a sob escaped from your throat. “I don’t know what to do.”
He puts down the flowers on the nearest available space, your stool, and steps into your space. Filling it with his perfume and warmth meant to comfort you. He could see how distressed you were—rocking on your heels, hands unable to stay put, and lower lip sandwiched in between your pearly teeth.
“Breathe. It’s completely fine, love. No harm done. Really, it’s alright.”
The tears come rushing down, staining your flushed cheeks with its tracks. “It’s not—how could I forget?”
“Sunshine, it’s okay. It happens to all of us and I know you’re quite busy, it’s understandable.”
You burrow into his chest some more, afraid of separating from him and the haven he brings.
He continued on. “I also know you’re overwhelmed, the exhibit is just around the corner and I know how important it is to you, I understand.”
Laying your cheek near his beating heart, you mutter a reply. “It’s really not—I don’t want you to think you’re not important to me too.”
His hands cupped your face to stare into your saddened eyes. Spencer couldn’t see the warmth and brightness that was always present in his sunshine. There was a cloud of rain and doubt covering its’ greatness. He understood no one could always be happy all the time but it bothered him to see you breaking down from stress.
“Shouldn’t I be the one worried about that?” he lightly joked. “I’ve cancelled on dates so many times and did those ever make you feel less important to me?”
“No. Never,” you sniffled.
“Then what makes you say I’d think that, sunshine? I would never, I promise.”
The corners of your lips lifted up to a small smile. There it was, the rays of sun peeking behind the clouds, bringing warmth back to the dark crevices of his being.
“I’m sorry about your shirt,” your lower lip jutting out in a pout. The air of anxiety slowly dissipating around you.
Spencer laughed, noting the tear stained marks littered on his purple button down. “That’s alright. Why don’t we order from your favorite Indian place down the block? We can get your favorites and have our dinner date here instead?”
“You’d be okay with that?”
He leaned in to kiss your temples, taking in the twinkle back in your eyes framed by your wet long lashes and the flush on your cheeks from emotion—good and bad.
For Spencer, you had never looked more beautiful. The reason behind of your breakdown was raw, intimate, and it made him see you in a new light. Heat bloomed in his chest, like a series of red roses, filled with love for you.
“Anywhere with you is good for me, sunshine.”
Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!
#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid#dr spencer reid#spencer reid imagine#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid comfort#criminal minds fic#spencer reid fic
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#I also think the queue is an important part of tumblr treating old posts differently. it spreads out post memory and delays or prolong fads#it gives you a quick retrospective on something that happened recently.#plus. since tumblr users can often end up in closed circles. it can prevent homogenization by#avoiding that thing where you follow seven people who all follow each other and suddenly you see the same post ten times in a row#if I reblog something everyone else is also reblogging. you'll just be reminded of it in a month or two#also idk. I've always been a bit slow to process opinions. so when I see something finally post after a while it lets me dig up my thoughts#and then either decide I actually don't like it and delete the reblog. or add some new tags to it (sometimes I forget very obvious tw tags#or out catches me at a moment when I have more energy and I go through the artist's page and share more of their art#and follow if it hits the spot just right#anyway. in a world of gut reaction and instant trend and lightning fast communication. it's nice to manually introduce delay#it's like when someone messages me and I'm like “I could respond right away but I would rather respond in an hour”.#sometimes you have to choose to take it slow in what ways you can#tag talk
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soooo I wrote this for the art god @devotion-disorder because
1- they're one of my favorite artists ever!!!!!!! And they're someone who portrays yanderes in such a 😙🤌 chef's kiss way that I can't help but admire
2- I am obsessed with their oc kuuya
but if you'd rather I delete it, just let me know!!
Warnings: NSFW, yandere behavior, unhealthy obsession !!! Minors DNI !!!
Part 2 of this fic here <3
The skin on the nape of your neck prickled, making you shiver at the strange sensation.
The steady gaze outside your window was so piercing and unmoving that it could be as sharp as needles nicking your skin.
Although, if you were to be fully honest, it felt more like a knife.
It would be just another night, if it wasn't for the fact that your co-worker lurked outside your house.
"Kuuya", you mouthed his name, just to feel how it moves against your lips, because you could never really say it during daytime without having him spiral headfirst into a meltdown.
Kuuya was a disaster.
He never talked to you.
You would sometimes catch him staring at you during work, which made him blush like an anime schoolgirl, but that was the extent of his interaction with you.
He was a regular employee, didn't stand out much, nor caused problems. He was just... there. Constantly looking exhausted, with his back hunched and in the verge of a mental breakdown.
And you were so attracted to that mess of a man.
Your friends would probably frown and sigh if they knew, but they were also pretty much aware of your type: sickly victorian-looking men, anemic, with extremely dark circles under their eyes, who probably sneeze a lot and shake like chihuahuas.
And, hey, that was Kuuya to a T. How could you not have a crush on him?
You soon realized, however, that he probably had a few screws loose.
It started slow, a few things going missing. First it was a pen, then some of your hair ties, then old post-it notes you had forgotten about, until their absence reminded you of their existence.
These things were inconsequential.
You wouldn't even notice their disappearance, if it wasnt for the fact that one day you saw Kuuya with a fluffy hair tie that looked way too similar to yours to be a coincidence. It even had the same little star charm that yours had.
And then you noticed the pens, carefully placed inside a cup near his computer.
And the erasers, the post-its, the pencils, all the other office appliances that you were pretty sure were yours.
But they weren't, right?
That was just your fertile imagination playing tricks on you.
Right?
One day, just to erase this silly idea from your head – I mean, you were probably just paranoid – you waited until you saw Kuuya take a break from his assignments and make his way to the bathroom.
You observed through the corner of your eyes how he stared at you while making his way to the other side of the office, anxiously shaking your leg as you mentally egged him to hurry up and go to the damn toilet.
As soon as you were sure he was inside and you were out his sight, you bolted towards his desk, earning a few pissed off glances from your other coworkers.
You had to work quickly though, since you didnt know how long he would take to come back. Looking over your shoulder constantly, you opened the drawers under his desk, searching for something and feeling silly all the while (what if you're the crazy paranoic one for real?), until your hands haphazardly touched some papers and you heard the sound of crinkles.
Looking over your shoulder one more time to make sure he wasn't around, you lifted the papers and mouthed a silent "oh." as you saw what was underneath them.
Dozens and dozens of candy wrappers, discarded notes and even more of those old post-its laid organized in what you could say was impeccable fashion, if it wasnt for the fact that it was all trash.
Your trash.
In the back, you saw some plastic bags with questionable contents, but your anxiety was in an all time high and you decided to just put things back were they were and close the drawer.
You had your confirmation. He WAS crazy and you were still paranoid, but at least you were right.
You made way back to your desk and sighed, sitting down.
Conflicted feelings pooled in your gut.
You knew all of that meant that he was indeed crazy and obsessed and potentially dangerous, but also... you couldn't really deny the excitement that made butterflies fly all around in your stomach and the giddy feeling that made your heart race with expectations – of what, you didn't know.
And as these feeling swarmed you, you failed to realize the pair of eyes that were locked tight onto your figure from the very start.
If Kuuya could properly express his feelings, he would be moaning and whining in pure despair.
They saw everything. They saw where he keeps all his treasures he had been collecting for the past months.
But why?! Why did they even think about looking for that? Has Kuuya been acting too obvious? But he made sure he wouldn't be too creepy! Well, at least not as creepy as he truly wanted to be. How was that happening all of a sudden?!
The taste of copper interrupted his mental breakdown and he looked down at his thumb, where tiny droplets of blood appeared after he anxiously chewed it.
"It's okay, it's fine" he kept repeating in his mind, like a mantra. He'd just need to see how you'd act around him after that.
If you stopped interacting with him (even if most of those interactions were just good mornings and good evenings coming from YOU), he would probably just... end it all for once. Or maybe kidnap you so you wouldn't run away. Whatever crossed his mind first.
With his heart beating loud on his chest, Kuuya walked back to his seat and forced himself to work, spreadsheets and numbers flashing on his mind, unnoticed.
All he could think was of your hands rummaging through his drawers.
Oh god, your hands touched his things.
Kuuya exhaled sharply, rubbing his thighs together to alleviate the sudden discomfort in his groin. What would he do if you never even looked at his direction again? Sure, you could even report him to the HR, but not being able to see you was a fate worse than being fired!
His mind tumbled, wandering through every worst scenario possible, and in his despair, he didn't notice it was already time to clock out.
"Good evening, Kuuya." You say as you pass by him, nodding your head, with a tight smile.
'Huh?'
Kuuya stares at nothing in front of him, until the fact that you talked to him registers in his mind.
'HUH?'
You talked to him?
Wait.
Did you really see what was in his drawers? Was he just hallucinating? No, there's no way he was. He saw how your colleagues stared at you when you ran to his table. They SAW you. Just like he did. So you saw everything. And you don't hate him? What the fuck. You don't find him disgusting? What? What the hell.
He didn't understand.
He couldn't understand.
He had to understand.
And so, he led himself towards your house, hiding in the bushes right in front of your bedroom window.
How lucky was he that you didn't live in an apartment building?
He was there to understand you better. Just for that. And it'd be just this time, he swore. Just to see what was up with you.
His breath was ragged and heavy and his cheeks burned red. He bit his bottom lip tightly to keep any moan from escaping as he palmed himself through his pants, while he watched the way you stripped yourself of your work clothes.
Quickly undoing his belt buckle and his pants, he let himself be completely overtaken by pure lust and began pumping his dick mercilessly as he was graced with just a little bit more of your skin, right in front of him.
He saw you sigh as you got rid of your pants and his eyes rolled back, imagining how you'd sound if he was the one taking your clothes off.
Oh, what would he give to be able to jump through your window and grab one of your dirty clothes and get drunk on your scent...
The thought made him buck his hips forward clumsily, and he gritted his teeth, hard.
Well, fuck.
He panted, while he observed the way his cum dripped from the leaves of the bush, and as coherent thoughts started flowing back to his mind, he suddenly hoped he wasn't moving too much to catch your attention.
You hadn't even looked his way, so he was safe, right?
Right?
You rubbed your thighs together as you kept your back turned to the window. The windowpane was open, in order to allow the wind to flow through your bedroom, and due to this little fact, you could hear a faint sound coming from the plants right in front of your window.
A quiet, almost indiscernible (if you weren't paying close attention) plap plap plap sound.
You bit your lip to keep your grin from spreading through your lips.
The dumbass was masturbating! Right there! Right in front of your room!
You sighed, feeling the heat pool in between your legs, but controlled your instinct to pull him out from wherever he was and fuck him silly in your bedroom.
You desired him so fucking much. You thrived in his attention, like a sunflower leaning towards rays of light.
The thing is: while you loved his obsession, you were also deathly afraid that he would lose interest in you as soon as he found out how much you also wanted him.
Much like a cat who discards a prey. Except this cat was wet, sad, pathetic and still, you were ridiculously eager to keep playing dead so he would put his grimy, sticky little paws on you just a little bit more.
How would Kuuya feel, you wondered, if he knew you were as obsessed with him as much as he was with you?
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HOW I MANIFESTED MY DREAM LIFE IN A WEEK
BACKSTORY
So I decided to fully immerse myself in "persisting" and fulfilling when I listened to Lonely one by LOVA because I spent around an hour just sobbing because I related to the song.
the week that I started was around Easter break and I was under the most amount of stress I have ever been through and I could see it the effects on my body
I was breaking out with huge pimples even though I was on accutane, I was averaging 2 hours of sleep a day every week for 2 weeks, my period had going on for 2 weeks, I was losing weight rapidly (was under 35kg:( ) my anxiety was at an all time high because I got harassed again(sexual assault victim). I used to have severe depression and have had multiple failed attempts of suicide. AND YES I WAS DESPERATE AS FUCK TO MANIFEST THIS DREAM LIFE OF MINE WHICH IS NO LONGER A DREAM
in the mornings I would be super anxious but I learned how to deal with it and get myself into the state super easily
HOW I DID IT
I GOT OFF TUMBLR: you know how many times I doubted myself only to realise I was doing everything right
I also read and listened to Edward Art MULTIPLE TIMES
Within a week of fulfilling and persisting, I had manifested my dream life. just like that. I woke up one morning and everything I had ever desired was right there. and it was super easy.
all I did was affirm(to remind not to get), visualise and feel. I would only do these methods if I wanted to, if I didn't I wouldn't.
Within a few days, the anxiety lessened so much and it started to feel natural.
this was a question on Bambi's " how I manifested with hard circumstances " post which has now been sadly deleted but I remember copying this because it gave me hope at the time I copied it (don't hope, just know)
"But isn’t ranting “not letting the old story die out?” you and i could rant until our minds are cleared, just as long as you flip my thoughts, you are on the right track. I rant for 2% of my 24 hour days. The other 98% i was persisting in the fact that creation was done. as “time” went on, it began to feel more natural and I felt more at ease. I held onto that feeling because I knew this was when I would get my desires and I did."
and that was when I knew I shouldn't give up and I just kept going even when I wanted myself to just get on tumblr and overconsume
I actually nearly decided to see what I was "doing wrong". I clicked on one of Aphrodite's posts but I didn't read it. I just asked myself if I would look through it if I had my desires and I wouldn't and since I already have all of my desires I didn't.
Whenever the anxiety was too strong and I could feel the frustration and desperation building up, I would just rant and it helped me calm down and get back into the state super easily.
why?
because STATES MANIFEST THOUGHTS DON'T
which is why you can rant.
you know how many FUCKING DOUBTS I had, but I didn't even give them attention coz they didn't deserve any and how many times I wanted to just give up, but I was like NO, STFU, I DON'T WANNA LIVE MISERABLY ANYMORE and now I'm not :)
The affirmations I used:
It is done
I am living my dream life
I am in my desired reality
The 3d will conform as long as i keep persisting
Imagination is the real reality
I also daydreamed, but since imagination is the real reality they were real
WHAT I MANIFESTED
- desired appearance
- name change
- family change
- skills (drivers licence etc)
- apartment and furniture
- wealth
- a bunch of random materialistic things
- desired friend group (I absolutely love them!)
- desired uni and always getting good grades
- outfits from pinterest
and a bunch of other things
- I also ended up manifesting an sp without even knowing and he's pretty much I everything I scripted him to be(scripted a year ago because I didn't really care for a relationship) but this happened before I manifested my dream life
after a year and half of being on loablr I finally manifested my dream life. and you can too
(there was probably over 100 things I wanted but I realised what I want is not much, nothing ever is when you know about loa and yes, i was super desperate)
you don't need anymore information other than @angelsinluv states post and fulfillment challenge
you shouldn't ever be stressed or worried while manifesting whatever you want, because you wouldn't stress if you had it
TAKE YOUR TIME
YOU GOT THIS
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i am always thinking about art getting a little too tipsy and making his way back to his dorm room, only to find out that patricks got another girl in there.. so he makes the familiar trip to your dorm <3
loud knocking echoes through your room, and you're thankful your roommate is on vacation or else you're sure she would complain endlessly. the knocking continues as you check the time. 1:45am. you mumble and yawn and rub your eyes as you walk to the door, opening it slowly and peeking out. there's art, red eyes and flushed cheeks, hair beautifully messed up from the wind outside. he sniffles. "'m sorry i really didn't mean t' wake you up.. jus' need somewhere t'sleep" he murmurs, grabbing onto the edge of your door for support. you welcome him in quickly, leading him like a shepherd leads his sheep to your bed, sitting him down.
"art.. what happened? it's so late" he takes a second to comprehend what you're saying. "well i wen' to this party 'n patrick left to go makeout with some girl.. 'n then these guys started a drinking game 'n wanted me t' join.. so i did and.." he pauses, obviously embarrassed. "'n then i drank too much and threw up on their lawn.. everyone was laughing.." he whines, looking to you as if you can turn back time to save him from humiliation. "oh art.." you look him up and down, his clothes are messed up and dirty, and he looks absolutely exhausted and miserable. "alright um.. here's what ill do, drink some water art, ill try to find you a shirt and some old shorts to wear okay? you can sleep here" you know you worry too much but in his current state you're worried someone might come along and take advantage of him on the walk back to his dorm.
art drains your water bottle like a man dying of thirst, looking up at you with watery eyes when you hand him some clothes. "my old boyfriend left these here so.. they probably fit you, and im sure you wouldn't want to wear my shorts.." art nods, taking the clothes, but in his drunken state he almost remarks that, no, he wouldn't mind wearing your shorts, the ounce of connection he would feel would be worth the embarrassment. art stumbles up and changes in the bathroom, you hear him knocking around in there for almost ten minutes before he emerges, pulling up the shorts that are almost falling off of his lean frame. with your help, he gets into bed, letting you tuck him in, in such a caring way that makes arts heart beat faster. "im just gonna be over in my roommates bed okay? sleep well art" you can tell that he wants to say something, but after a second he just nods his head and pulls the covers around him.
art lasts about 10 minutes before he's softly calling your name, half hoping you're already asleep so you won't reject him. to his (un)happiness, you turn over in bed, meeting his eyes across the room. "what's up?" you ask, smiling at the familiar whispering across the room that reminded you of many sleepovers as a child. "i- um can you just come over here?" he asks. you sigh, getting out of bed and quietly padding over to your bed. "i can't sleep" art states. you look at your clock placed on your desk, "well it has only been ten minutes art.. just give yourself some time." you turn to walk away but art grabs your wrist. "no.. um.. can you stay in this bed tonight?" if you weren't listening as hard as you would you wouldn't be able to hear the near-whisper that comes out of his mouth. "please?" he whines, looking up at you with those pathetic blue eyes of his. you can't help but agree, crawling in bed behind him, adjusting your pillow. "thank you" art squeaks out, curling up on himself.
now it's you who can't last ten minutes. looking at art, alone and sad tugs at your heartstrings, triggering an almost maternal care for him that you're sure will be problematic later. you move art so that his head is now placed on your shoulder, his warm steady breaths hitting the side of your neck. before you can think about it, your hand comes down to rub his back softly, reflecting that it always helped you fall asleep quick when your mother would do it. you feel arts eye lashes flutter against you as his eyes droop, body melting into yours as sleep takes over his body. you fall asleep only minutes later, secretly wishing that patrick would kick art out of his dorm more often <3
#parkerluvsu#parker.talks#art donaldson#challengers x reader#challengers 2024#challengers#art donaldson x reader
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【the 8th house】
aries
This reminds me of someone plunging headfirst into the unknown, like a daring adventurer who thrives on intensity. Bold moves in intimacy, raw and fearless when facing personal transformation. It’s that energy of setting fire to the old to make way for the new, like a warrior charging into the battle of self-discovery. It’s a spark in the darkness, igniting passion, power, and fierce independence.
taurus
This feels like a luxurious, secret garden hidden behind a heavy iron gate. It’s earthy, sensual, and grounded in the deepest layers of intimacy. Taurus here reminds me of someone who craves stability, even in the most unpredictable moments of life. It’s slow-burning passion, deep-rooted loyalty, and transforming yourself through the appreciation of beauty and comfort. Think silk sheets, candles, and taking pleasure in life's sensual transformations.
gemini
This reminds me of someone rifling through an old box of letters in the attic, piecing together hidden mysteries. It’s a curiosity-driven quest into the unknown, where secrets are uncovered through conversation and connection. Gemini in the 8th House feels like the mind diving into the depths, transforming through ideas, words, and a constant need for mental stimulation. There’s a trickster energy here, always asking questions, always exploring.
cancer
This placement feels like diving into the deep, dark waters of emotion, like someone finding comfort in the undercurrents of family and legacy. Cancer here reminds me of someone who cradles their inner transformations with tenderness, seeking emotional depth and security. It’s about healing ancestral wounds and embracing the intense emotions that come with personal evolution. Think of a nurturing presence in the storm, or the warmth of home in the darkest nights.
leo
This is like a phoenix rising from the ashes, bold and radiant even through life’s most intense transformations. Leo in the 8th House reminds me of someone who faces their fears with pride, owning their power and shining light in the darkest places. It’s theatrical, dramatic, and powerful—transforming through creativity, self-expression, and the need to be seen and admired, even in moments of vulnerability. Picture a regal lion, unafraid to face the shadow side and emerge stronger.
virgo
Virgo here reminds me of someone carefully stitching together the pieces of their life after a major transformation. It’s about dissecting the details, analyzing the process of change, and emerging stronger through self-improvement. There’s a practical, methodical approach to the mysteries of life—like organizing the chaos of emotions, money, or intimacy. Virgo in the 8th House feels like someone transforming through healing rituals, health routines, or even the fine art of letting go—one step at a time.
libra
This reminds me of a ballroom dance in the shadows—graceful, elegant, yet deeply intense. Libra here seeks balance even in life’s most tumultuous transformations. It’s about merging with others, finding harmony in the deepest connections, and transforming through partnerships. Think of someone who transforms through relationships, but with an air of refinement and diplomacy. It’s someone navigating the complexities of intimacy like a skilled mediator, bringing beauty to the dark corners of life.
scorpio
This placement is like a snake shedding its skin—raw, intense, and transformative. Scorpio naturally rules the 8th House, so this feels like someone who’s at home in the depths. It reminds me of a powerful alchemist, someone who embraces the shadow side with ease, diving into the underworld of emotions, secrets, and mysteries. It’s dark, seductive, and magnetic, with an uncanny ability to rise from the ashes stronger than before. This is the ultimate transformation, like a smoldering fire that never burns out.
sagittarius
This feels like a fearless explorer navigating the deepest jungles of the soul, unafraid to dive into taboo topics or push boundaries. Sagittarius in the 8th House reminds me of someone who seeks truth and freedom through life’s biggest transformations. It’s about finding meaning in the unknown and expanding your horizons through intense personal growth. There’s a philosophical flair here—transforming through travel, higher knowledge, or even spiritual quests. Picture a wild horse, running through the unknown with excitement rather than fear.
capricorn
This reminds me of a mountain climber, steadily ascending even through life’s darkest challenges. Capricorn here approaches transformation with discipline and control, determined to conquer the shadow side of life. It’s about facing the depths with a sense of responsibility, finding power through resilience, and transforming slowly but surely. This placement feels like someone building an empire from the ground up, never letting emotional turbulence derail their long-term goals. There’s power in persistence here, a slow burn to success.
aquarius
This feels like a mad scientist, diving into the mysteries of life with a rebellious spirit and innovative approach. Aquarius here reminds me of someone who seeks freedom through transformation, always pushing the boundaries of what’s possible. It’s about changing the way we view intimacy, power, and the unknown, using unconventional methods to navigate the depths. Think of someone who approaches life’s challenges with a detached curiosity, seeing transformation as an opportunity to break the mold and reinvent themselves.
pisces
This is like drifting through an ocean of emotion, where transformation happens in a dreamy, spiritual way. Pisces here reminds me of someone who finds power in surrender, embracing the unknown with a sense of faith and compassion. It’s about dissolving boundaries, merging with the mysteries of life, and transforming through spiritual or emotional release. Think of someone who feels deeply connected to the collective unconscious, navigating life’s darkest moments with an almost ethereal grace, like a poet lost in the mysteries of the soul.
#astrology observations#astro#8th house#8th house signs#8th house astrology#8h placements#8h signs#random astro#random astro observations#astro observations#astrology
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WELCOME HOME, POLLY! ✈️☀️🪄
finally sharing the piece i drew for @aasiblingszine! :^D if there's one thing about me, it's that i will be VERY sappy about apollo and trucy <3
leftovers are live over on here! so feel free to grab yourself a copy of this siblimful zine if you wanna feel warm and fuzzy and maybe cry a lil bit about ace attorney and the siblingisms of it all pftt <33
extra stuff under the cut! :^P | like this art? it'll be a print in my shop once the leftovers are over! | like what i do? support me on ko-fi!
help i just noticed that the timelaspe i had of this didn't record me rendering the rest of the drawing 😭 oh well, here's the progress gif too why not pftt
it's been maybe more than a year since i drew this so very wild to see how my art style has evolved since this! considering that i'm currently in an art rut pftt, i've changed my inking pen so many times by now lol. but i still like this a lot! what's a den drawing without too many add (glow) layers and the sun setting down in it lmao
just looking at all the art and writing made for this zine was such a treat! so many heartwarming and heartwrenching scenarios so beautifully written and illustrated! flipping through this zine, i teared up a bit, my man!! i'm so glad to have worked with such talented peeps! :'^] <33
this drawing of mine is kind of an expansion of this old doodle i drew, i'm just a big enjoyed of trucy and apollo ending up being the same height after a timeskip AND i am also just very weepy about missing people who used to be always with you, mayhaps.
once again reminding you that leftovers are live!!! here's the link, go get this wonderful zine!!!
#ace attorney#apollo justice#trucy wright#aa4#gramarye siblings#aa6#ace attorney zine#sunnysidedraws#sunnysidezines#id in alt text#described#sunnysideattorney
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