#it gives you a quick retrospective on something that happened recently.

[neverendingford]

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[not-alien-girl-v]

Hi honey! Hope you're doing alright! Could you write James March and Kit through the love languages? Love your writing!! 🥰

warning: language, mentions of sex, unconsensual touching (it doesn't happen but there is a mention of it saying its something he doesn't do) idk i just feel the need to warn about it

note: sorry this request is from october of last year i totally forgot about it cuz i hadn't watched asylum but then i found this request since i watched it and decided to give it a try. recently my life has been blegh. being homeschooled sucks im lonely anyways dm me to be friends i love having friends making friends everything yeah

Kit

words of affirmation: absolutely one of his love languages. pardon me for getting lewd quickly but i definitely think he's into praise like big time. he loves to tell you how good you're doing, how pretty you are, how proud he is of you, and of course it's not always when you're fucking i think in all aspects of life with kit by your side, he will be giving you any and every type of praise because he believes it's the most straight forward way to show his affection, especially since he's often busy and he doesn't have a lot of money.

quality time: quality time as a love language might be a little difficult with kit, he works a lot, and if you are a girlboss, you probably work a lot too, there's no guarantee your schedules will line up with each other which is what makes the rare quiet moments you spend with each other all the more special and cherished. it's not that he doesn't want to spend time with you, he would if he could. but he definitely tries. any moment he can get, he'll take you to dinner, to breakfast, out on silly little dates that may seem a little stupid in retrospect but its the thought that counts.

receiving gifts: bro is broke. bro works so hard to be able to afford a roof over both of your heads and food on the table and that's about the furthest his money can go without getting tight. so he tries to make it work how he can, he'll buy you little trinkets or little snacks while he's out, but for the most part, he'd mostly just give you found presents, like a pretty rock he found outside that made him think of you or something like that. again, its the thought that counts.

acts of service: now hear me out on this one so this may fall into the touch category but i feel like he'd be really into massages both giving and receiving but mostly giving. again, it's a very straight forward way of showing love and affection and it doesn't cost him anything he can't afford to give you. it's an act of service at it's finest, but i also think he'd love to eat you out too, if you're into that kind of thing. he doesn't have any facial hair but if he did, you know that shit would be red, because bro is a munch.

touch: keep the whole massages thing in mind, he loves that as a form of touch, but in general, he's not too into being all touchy feely, however, he does have a thing about touching at night when you're both sleeping, even if it's just an arm slung over your waist or his finger lightly grazing your arm, he mostly does it as confirmation that you're safe and sleeping next to him, he's always a bit paranoid. it's not necessarily a touching thing, as once again, he's not that big on it, but he'd still graciously accept a long hug whenever you're feeling like it or quick pecks on the cheek in passing.

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

James

words of affirmation: i feel like it's just a known fact that james loves giving and receiving compliments. he absolutely adores it anytime you speak up and let him know how handsome he looks on one day in particular, though he already knows he always looks good, he still appreciates that it's you who said it to him. but when it comes to the things he says to you, he likes to come up with the most out of pocket inappropriate things to say to you at inappropriate times just because he can, just to see a soft blush form on your cheeks, it's a sight he never gets tired of seeing in his eternal existence.

quality time: time is something that james, as a ghost, has an endless supply of, so it's no wonder he chooses to dedicate it mostly to you. first of all, you're the love of his life, and second of all, what else is he going to do? leave you, a beautiful woman, alone in a hotel full of horny ghosts? he thinks not. sometimes he can get on your nerves, not even allowing you to go for a stroll around the hotel without him insisting to be by your side for it. he's very clingy, though he'd never admit it, and it would piss him off so much if you said it to him. with this, he's also very protective, borderline possessive, and jealous over you. he believes that you belong to him and him only and any moment spend apart is a violation of that. it's something you'll have to work on with him.

receiving gifts: dude's got money. he'd give it all to you if he could, and he absolutely would if you'd let him, but every time he tries to directly give you his money, you turn him down (see personally i would never #ghostsugardaddy but that's beside the point), so he instead chooses to buy you things. lots of things. expensive things. ridiculously expensive things. so much so that he simply will not tell you the cost of an item until after you've accepted it. i'm thinking jewelry, clothes, not much makeup but mostly lipstick in dark reds because it drives him crazy to see you wearing it, books, records, whatever luxury he can think of.

acts of service: bless this man but he has never had to do this type of shit for himself, acts of service and whatever, his idea of an act of service is to get miss evers to do it for you, whatever it is, which when you think about it, is an act of service, because he does take care of you, just not firsthand. but he absolutely makes you cum first in bed, via whatever you choose, and he is a fan of aftercare, even sometimes when it isn't really necessary, he still enjoys drawing a bath for the two of you to soak and relax in for a long while.

touch: he's a serial killer so he's definitely got a think for creepy skin caressing, except when it's james, it's not creepy, it's loving and adoring. sometimes you'll be awake for it, sometimes you won't, but it's not in a weird rapey way, like he'd never go any further without your waking consent, but he simply likes the feeling of your soft skin under his strong hands, loves to see the goosebumps raise in trails his fingers leave, and he's not huge on cuddling or traditional forms of touch like that, he'll give you a hug if you're crying, but he'd much rather talk your problems through, figure out quickest ways to fix them rather than wallow in sadness together. he's also often very out and about, so it's difficult to catch him in a morning cuddle session because he's usually up and out of bed before you're even awake, but every now and then you happen to wake a few hours earlier, and you make sure to take absolute advantage of him with his guard down, asleep, and cuddle up to his side. he'll usually just sigh, squeeze an arm around you and accept his fate.

[curryfury13]

Hello!

Welcome to my first retrospective post. This one should be fun, huh? We're going to go through the first chapter of my very first fan-fiction. Not word for word, mind you, but as commentary. I'll provide the link if you're interested in reading the chapter itself, but otherwise I'll be talking about where I was at as a creator when I wrote it.

Think of this as the special features! Ever wonder what the heck that creator was thinking when they made that dumb decision? Well now's your chance to find out! Or something like that.

Storytelling in general was a new concept for me.

Something I've only recently opened up about publicly is that growing up, I struggled with reading books. I'd reread the same paragraph over and over again, never really absorbing anything I actually read. I could do some audio-books occasionally—which helped immensely when it came to schooling—but proper grammar, pacing, actual writing, I hadn't a clue. Turns out it was due to a fun load of disassociation. Well, I mean as much fun as swallowing a tortilla chip the wrong way at a party, which really isn't much fun at all.

This is all to say, I went into writing this story not knowing how to write a story. And you might be asking yourself, then why, oh why, did I write this story? The answer to that is because I wanted to. Go swallow a tortilla chip!

All I really knew was that I loved Kingdom Hearts and it brought me a lot of comfort when I wasn't feeling great. Those were roughly my words when my husband asked me what I wanted to write about and it's still true to this day. He also asked me what I would want to add to the story, because while I could simply novelize the games, that's already been done. What did I want to add?

That's when Hinata was born.

And I mean born. She was genuinely, just barely made up when I started True Friends. I believe I decided her name as I was in the process of writing. No pre-planning, no outline, just opened the laptop and typed away. For better or worse.

Seeing the person she is now compared to how she started is mind boggling to me. She isn't the same girl Riku pulled out of the water.

I kid, I kid. This was the humble beginning. I can still feel my giddy excitement when I reread this chapter.

I also like to refer to this chapter as, Not Interesting At All Really

There was so much I wanted to get to, so many rampant ideas that I needed to thread together without the slightest idea of how I'd do it. My first goal was, let's make sure everyone knows the characters. Mention Riku's yearning for the outside world, Kairi being from another world, and Sora's general, Sora-ness. It was quick, vague, and all a bit awkward, especially since a majority of my readers would be Kingdom Hearts fans in the first place. They didn't need those needless explanations!

Reading it now, you can still feel that awkward tension. The feeling of, I just need to get this out of the way and get to the good stuff.

One detail I tried to get into on Destiny Islands was diving into Kairi's emotions about her fall and loss of memories. It's never really explored in the games, spare for Memory of Melodies, I suppose, and it was something I wanted to try and explore more.

While I do think it's an interesting concept, if I ever try and rewrite this story, I don't think this thread will carry over. It doesn't really go anywhere in the end, and I feel like it drives Kairi to act out of character in True Friends. It may be something that does eat at her, but it's not something she would act out about. She's content with her life on Destiny Islands.

Overall, it's not a horrible start! It's something that still makes me smile when I read it. A lot of heart and love went into it. And I still have to give myself a small pat on the back that Hinata did show up rather quickly. Something happened right off the bat and the story didn't drag its feet.

In the first chapter anyway... Later on. That's a different story.

[popculturebuffet]

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers BOOM! Retrospective: Issues 2 and 3 (Patreon Review for Brotoman.EXE)

Hello all you happy rangers and welcome back to my look at BOOM! Studios Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. For those just joining us, a quick recap: Back in 2016 comic published BOOM! inked a deal to produce Power Rangers comics, being the first studio since marvel to do so consitently and the first to go all out with it: a full ongoing, several graphic novels we won't be getting into for now, and eventually multiple ongings cumilating recently in the end of the longstanding ongoing before what I assume will be some kind of relaunch. Brotoman being a fan of the first run by kyle higgins asked me to cover it at least up to Shattered Grid, I agreed and here we.

PREVIOUSLY ON POWER RANGERS:

In an alternate timeline that was less 90's but green with evil still happened, the power rangers have welcomed Tommy Oliver into their ranks as the green ranger. Tommy is struggling both with his guilt from Rita's brainwashing and a rita ptsd ghost following him around making that harder, cumilating in a screw up that has his zord fail to save a bridge. Each ranger deals with this diffrently: Jason isn't fully comfortable with this or Tommy's more indvidualistic nature, but clearly wants to give him a chance, Trini and Billy are unsure but are willing ot check the servos, Kim is down bad and disapointed Tommy would rather try to win a kobiashi maru style scenario that Zordon keeps letting him replay because someone forgot to change out his tube and Zack's defualt mode to tommy despite being BRAINWASHED is

All the while Rita schemes to somehow power a mysterious black crystal using Tommy and sends Scorpina to his house as part of this plan.

So that's where we begin this issue. Also Bulk and Skull have a wacky backup story where their trying to pick up women by becoming heroes. IT's pretty neat. Overall I thought the first two issues, issues 0 and 1, were okay, but felt like we were missing a page and that the series would've been better off starting from scratch instead of trying to fit into the MMPR timeline. Will these issues be better? Will Bulk and Skull be charming? Is too much green energy more dangerous than too much pink energy? To answer your questions... a bit, yes, and somehow yes. But join me under the cut anyway would you?

Let's being: The issue starts with bIlly and trini. Billy is looking over the zords. He finds they work kinda like segways, more off the environment or something and that nothing seems to be wrong. He also admits he was reluctnant to go into the dragon zord as he assumed it might have chains and cauldrons and all that crap. Trini assures him that just because RITA is into that dosen't mean Tommy would and he's like them.

It's then we get my faviorite moment from these two isssues, a really nice, well done bit of character work and a bit of calm before things pick up: Billy almost interjects and when Trini gets him to open up he admits that Tommy's like THEM. Another fighter, traditoinally attractive (Trini points out he's no slouch, a nice nod to how Billy's actor was jacked but often wore baggy clothing early on to hdie that). Trini helps him out of it by reminding Billy that his brain is just as useful and not only has he taught her a LOT he's also the rason their able to look at the zords like this at all. Tommy's useful.. but he can't do THIS. It's honestly really cute and I woudln't of minded if they shipped the two, though I still adore who they DID end up shipping trini with. But we'll table that for now.

Back with Tommy scorpina demands what's not his, the power coin, and while Tommy bluffs to his mom, when Scorpina threatens him Tommy oliver does what tommy oliver do best: kick ass

Yes Folks tommy WEAPONIZED the rangers teleport. It's really clever. I know from watching History of Power Rangers telporting into the command center ONLY works for the rangers, protection and all that.. but I never thought about the fact it'd work just fine for anyone else. It's not super useful, this isn't final fantasy XV where they can port around fast and loose for combat, but it is VERY clever.

Tommy and Scorpina scrap but it's clear he's outmatched. I also appricate choosing her to sqaure off against him as she didn't do much as far as I can tell otuside of green with evil, so it's neat to have her take part in what's essentially a direct sequel.

Tommy's already only doing okay when Scorpina breaks out a bunch of putties

We cut to Kim and Jason. Jaosn is teaching karate at.. an actual karate school?

As I grapple with my sense of reality, Jason teaches kids, showing he enjoys the work. Kim came to visit him as her parents are having a messy divorce and she dosent' want to be in the middle of that, and Tommy's busy and Jason can see through her denial he likes her. He's less chill about his sensei asking if he could get tommy to co teach his class and I like this: Jason does try to be nice about it.. but it's claer it rattles him tos hare this space, even if the teacher means well.

At any rate our heroes don't have time to dwell as Zordon can sense when his rangers are getting their asses kicks and summons them to go save Tommy.

Back on the moon we find out Rita.. is actually really thinking this out as either way she wins: whatever the black crystal thing is it absorbs the chaos energy of the green power coin: if tommy surivvies and the rangers beat scorpina, she still gets further in her plan. If Scorina takes the coin.. then she just wins early.

Naturally it's option 1 as Jason and Kim arrive to help as does Zack. Tommy however snaps a bit after running after Scorpina who teleports away and leaving everyone else to deal with the putties. Thankfully they clear it and while Zack bites tommy's head off ab it he bites everyone elses off clearly defensive. What I like is while Jason has doubts clearly.. he assures tommy he did the best he coudl teleprorting her away and isn't ashamed. I like this a lot more.. while we still get plenty of ptsd rita in this issue she comes off more like Tommy's own slef loathign.. that he keeps pushign himself so damn hard as seen with the simulation and thus pushes the others away, constantly feeling like their judging him for something he coudln't help, like there was a part of him responsible for what rita did to him. It's great writing and really helps this issue step up from the last two.

So we end as at the center the team muses shit is dire: If rita can just teleport one minon in, tommy isn't safe but his own pride means he isn't giving up the coin to zordon. We then find out WHY the dragonzord didn't listen.. it's stopped listening to tommy. The zords are like wild animals and thus have to be in synch with their rider and either rita's plans or tommy's own doubts are doing something. Tommy gets defnesive.. and then passes the fuck out as we close issue 2, like I said a big step up with more character moments, both subtle and obvious, a great fight scene with Tommy and the putties. The series took a bit but it is getting better honestly.

Beofre ew can see if it keeps up momentum though it's time for the boys. Bulk and Skull have caught a putty and being bulk and skull hav ea stupid plan for what to do with him: take him to the basketball court of course! If it worked for airbud it'll work for him. Unfortunately their plan to make millions/beat up this creature to get kimberly and trini's respect. This naturally goes off the rails as the putty escapes before they can beat him up.

The adds I see in the digital copy remind me that Sons of Anarchy had a comic once. Haven't seen the show, don't really have an intrest in those biker micheal likers and the ad was for series creator kurt sutters original comic, but it's still weird to me that was a thing that happened. I also thought they had done Cobra Kai, Glow and Wet Hot American Summer but no that was IDW.. though it's still delightful and weird those things happened.

Speaking of delightful and weird, we check in on Goldar. Yeah despite being honestly probably THE most iconic power rangers villian apperance wise and probablys econd over all to lord zed, Goldar's been asbent as his defeat in the Green Ranger saga allowed the rnagers to turn the tide. So Goldar's spent his time since like a resonable person, moping in the smoke machine dimension from Green With Evil refusing to come out of his room till Rita actually asks for him. It should be mildly tragic but he comes off less like a warrior who lost his armor and ladyships respect and more like a kid upset his mom yelled at him.

So we get a brief jumpscare as we see what may be tommy's mother but it turns into rita.

So we instead pick up right where we left off.. with Tommy waking up and everyone fucking terrified and worried about the guy since he just aburbtly passed out. I mean it wouldn' tbe a teen drama if someone didn't aburbtly pass out at some point, but it's still not.. good.. alpha goes to get water after Tommy asks for one and we get Alpha being absolutely adorable.

No one knows what caused this but Tommy looks concern. Back on the moon rita gloats because luxirating in a teenager's misery is her whole bag baby. While Scorpina wants to be punished for failing to help, Rita assures her she did fine: she pushed tommy, the mysterious macguffin crystal she's been carrying around is almost charged and for the last push they need the dragon dagger. But rita makes a valid point

Yeah in another clever twist , turns out having Scorpina use a bunch of putties.. was also part of the plan. Since their clay.. they can make a cast out of where Tommy stabbed one but good. The stunt has it's limits: finister CAN make a copy out of the cast, but it'll be unstable, only lasting shortly but long enough. It's a an omnious sequence as Rita chants and the blade is forged. I also love this use of finster: having him be creative and it's something spinoff/prequel go go power rangers, which we'll also be covering as it has a major tie in to shattered grid and it's writer, Ryan Parrot, would take over the main books after shattered grid and make his run a direct sequel to BOTH go go and this one. It's also really fucking good so I wants to and Brotoman's fine with it for the practical reasons.

Anyways, back with the rangers Tommy's in a scienc emachine to scan his body. We also get some really good character stuff with Tommy and Trini. ON her end, Trini admits she dosen't plan to be a ranger forever, setting up her eventual peace confrence exit well: She wants to travel the world, to see other things, jealous of tommy having lived in london breifly as his family moves around a lot. It's also a sweet moment as it's the first time Tommy really opens up to his teammates. Sure Kim is INTO him, but his stress, anxiety and PTSD have had him put up walls, try to SEEM okay but not open up so his teammates don't find out he really REALLY isn't. Here he just has a casual talk and when she asks how much he remembers he says nothing.. but she gets it. Her dad also had some ptsd from his service int he miltairy willing to wait but telling him opening up does help

Sadly we don't have time for that as the command center rumbles. And since it's a few years early for it to blow up real good for the first time it's the dragonzord. It attacks, Tommy can't get in it, and while Trini fights it off for a second with a great one liner of asking "Smaug" what he's got, she gets swatted aside and Tommy's attempts to calm it down only get him eaten.. except no it's another dream sequence

Yeah... that old chestnut. Not as fond of this one but it's more Tommy dreaming of things to come. Trini goes to check le scans though.

Meanwhile we get MORE of Zack not ceasing his bitch crying

Thankfully he FINALLY gets called out for his shit by Kimberly whose also tired of this so points to the comic: his shit being mildly grating was intentional. It stilll dosen't 100% work for me at this point, we'll see where it goes as the comic goes on, but it's clear he's not completley supposed to be right: He finally lays it out: tommy came out of nowhere, worked for rita, they have no real idea how severe the brainwashing was, and he's been acting erractic. And honestly his points .. aren't wrong. The issue is more zack handling them like a whiny asshole who can't see that maybe TOMMY needs help. Which is what Jason agrees on taking a more moderate stance between "I CAN FIX HIMMMMMM LET ME HAVE MY BADBOY" and "I DON'T LIKE TOMMY BECAUSE OF MY OWN ISSUES". While the art hasing him look like he's about to murder kimberly to huey lewis his words.. are entirely on point

It's honestly the best way: Jason is right Tommy isn't doing so good, and as we KNOW by this point he's been deflecting and hiding how not okay he is... but he needs to actually open up.

And that's what finally happens next: Trini ponits out his powers ar egoing nuts, that while his powers are also tied into the morphing grid. .ti's diffrent and it's more chaotic. Their not sure if it's rita or not.. but Tommy opens up finally. He's turned a corner realizing holding it in was not working and admits to ptsd rita not sure if it's her or just him not being okay, and also opens up about the dragon> Everyone is naturally concerned but Jason is pissed.. and while maybe yelling at someone with severe ptsd isn't the right way to go unlike zack whose ALSO pissed at Tommy because he can't realize when i'ts morphin time to fuck off, Jason makes a valid point: he wasn't okay, and he shouldn't of been in the field and trying to just "tough it out" and "deal with it himself" put them all at danger. It's a nice indicment of that societal tendnecy to balk at getting help that "you need to take care of yourself" but sometimes.. taking care of yorusel fis letting someone take car eof you and not bottling up your emotoins till it creates a witch borne out of your ptsd and self loathing.

The issue ends before tommy can get therapy though as rumbling is happened.. while PTSD rita is ambigious, the dream... was a warning of things to come. Scorpina has the dragon zord and is abotu to attack the cruise ship, ending the issue on a lovely and omnious panel

Look i'll admit the art by hendry prasyata is... eh. It's not horrible, nicely stylized in places.. but feels a tad generic.. but this shot.. man is it cool.

Bulk and skull prepare to kill their clay son and grab their armor. Trini and Kim... have no idea what to do as they can't just turn into ranger mode in broad daylight.. which is weird to me. See yes fightin ga putty without powers.. is dangeorus. The rangers struggled in thier first encounter and Tommy soloing a bunch was a sign of just HOW strong he was when introduced. But by this point Kim and Trini have fought these things a LOT , morphed and unmorphed. One of them on two isn't going to be a threat. And yeah you could say "but their cover".. but Kim and Trini are CLOSE friends with three known martial artists. It's not a stretch to just brush it off as something jason taught them. While I love this doofy side comic and Steve Orlando's writing... this dosen't really vibe with the show or the main story in terms of their comptience. Though they do prepare to basketball him to death once bulk and skull show up..a nd then run away whne they realize they don't got this.

These issues were an improvment honestly. Better character moments, slightly better art, and the more frustrating elements are eithe rpart of it. The book still has an overarching problem I'll TRY not to bring up again.. but it's big and I'm not sure how much I talked about it last time: this comic REALLY shoudln't of began where it did. I get the impulse to build on the original canon and this is a neat story to tell, tommy's growing pains as a ranger.. bu tit feels like we're thrown in mid story since Saban wasn't sure if the comics were canon or not for a while. And that's.. something you NEED to know going into a continuity. You need to make it clear this is it's own thing and if it is.. just start at day one. You could still hit the big events like green with evil, the exchange of power, etc, still hit that nostalgia, but the story would've worked better starting from day one.

I admit there is some mild bias: having read go go power rangers.. i've seen what the continuity could do when it took that approach, keeping day of the dumpster mostly canon in some form, but showing the rangers adjust and giving us more time to get to know them before the big events happen. I'm fine with a good reboot, but you have to ease your way in, let us get to know these people.. instead Power Rangers starts one arc before a major castrphoe as a direct sequel to a story they didn't adapt and just assume the reader knows well. Which is fine if you watch a lot of mighty morphin or have rewatched green with evil. On this second read having watched it a few years ago to review for brotoman, it clicked a bit better.. but I shouldn't have to watch 5 episodes of a 90's tv show to pick up a comic. It's understandable without it but this story is at it's core a direct sequel to green with evil. It became most obvious on this rereading: the use of scorpina, the emphasis on the fact Rita created the green power coin, Goldor moping in the smoke machine dimension. It's not a bad idea, it's one of the most iconic power ranger stroies, but not everyone picking up this comic is going to remember the fine details or necessarily WANT to have to remmeber something they watched years ago. Some people are just casulaly picking this up because "oh hey power rangers".

Am I saying EVERY comic has to appeal to casual fans or discard continuity? Fuck no. While comics continuity can be a LOT to deal with, it can also leave little nuggets to mine later. Good stuff to use. Using pieces of the rangers continuity like the fact Rita has some dominon over the green ranger powers is neat and it's good stuff. But it feels like the story does prioritze higgins getting to tell the rangers story he's always wanted over one that can do that AND stand on it's own.

This retrospectives sibling, more than meets the eye, proves that: while i had some trouble with the varous bits of continuity from idw before this sprinkled in and wasn't super knowledgeble about g1, for the most part MTMTE eagerly welcomes you weither you have shelf after shelf of robots in disguise on display or just think their neat and wanted to pick it up. You get who these guys are, what their mission is, what this continuity is at this point in it's life, and who they are without sacrficing connections to the past. The only time it REALLY fell into "I didn't explain this shit to you good luck bitch" is Overlord, who they KINDA explain but really dont' get into why hi mshowing up is a big deal if you haven't read last stand of the wreckers. Here while it works fine enough it feels like they just dropped you into the world with only the bare basics. And while it's thankfully not imppentarable, power rangers isn't comic, I 'm curious why boom thought it was a good idea to start with a direct sequel to one of power rangers most iconic stories and THEN jump right into crisis after crisis from the looks of things. It's why the huge amount of event comics in comics is chore sometimes; you need a second to let things breathe so the bigger stuff hits harder. IT's basic storytelling and i'm hoping we get more of those character moments to at least help slow it down a tad

For now next time we finish this arc then get a one off issue that explains why zack is like this. Till then may the power protect you

[phantasmagoric-acquaintance]

who said anything about marriage

[read it here or on ao3]

Barry was nervous.

That was nothing new. Barry was nervous most of the time. But Barry hadn’t been nervous around Lup in decades.

There were so many things that could go wrong. For one, he could lose the ring. For the millionth time in the past half hour, he patted the outside of his jacket pocket. He felt the little box and exhaled quietly.

He could screw up the plan. They’d already made it to the restaurant on time, thank the Gods. But what if they missed the gondola ride? He’d booked the damned thing in advance, and if the rules he’d read online were any indication, the company didn’t give latecomers a whole lot of leeway. He could pop the question on the streets next to the canal, he supposed, but that was unromantic. Plus, he’d pre-paid so much for the ride.

And what if he fell? He’d made himself sick the night before reading articles about mistakes to avoid on a gondola. He knew not to try to stand, but what if he forgot? He could tip the boat and soak them both.

“Um, babe?”

Lup’s voice brought Barry out of his anxious reverie, and he remembered he’d been pouring a glass of wine, which was now very close to overflowing. “Aah!” He hastily righted the bottle, hitting the mouth against the overfilled glass in the process and very nearly knocking it over.

Lup snickered, eyes glinting with amusement. “You are a wreck,” she said as she lifted her own wine glass to her lips. There wasn’t a hint of malice in her voice or in her expression. Barry remembered that he’d probably embarrassed himself in front of her thousands of times, and she still loved him. As the waiter came by to take their orders, Barry felt himself relaxing.

That calm moment was short-lived.

When the waiter turned away from their table, Lup propped her elbows up on the table and rested her chin on her palms. “Hey, Bear?”

“Mm-hm?” Barry vocalized, sipping from his comically full wine glass.

“When are we gonna get married?”

Barry sputtered, spitting a little wine back into his glass and trying not to choke on the rest of it. “Huh?!?” Had she figured out his plan? She was clever, and he wasn’t the best at keeping secrets, but he thought he’d done a good job of keeping it from her. He’d known better, too, than to tell anyone expect Taako. Did she get it out of him?

She raised an eyebrow. “Well, don’t freak out or anything. It’s just, you know, we’ve been together for, like, I don’t know, an entire human lifespan?” She shifted her chin so that it rested only on her left palm and reached for her glass with her free hand. “I mean, we’re pretty much already married. I just thought, I dunno, maybe we should make it official.”

If Barry had been thinking, he might’ve told her “Yes! Gods, yes!” right then and there. He might’ve pulled out the ring and said, “Funny you should ask, I was thinking the same thing!” If he had been thinking, he might have realized that this moment, right here in the restaurant, was the perfect opportunity to do what he’d set out to do this evening.

But Barry wasn’t thinking. Barry was panicking.

“M-marriage? Who said anything about marriage?”

Lup set her left arm back down on the table. “Huh? Nobody said anything about it. Or, I guess I did.” She looked down at her glass and swirled it around a bit. “Geez, Barry, I wouldn’t have brought it up if I knew it’d make you all, like, panicky and sweaty and shit.”

“I-I’m not panicky and sweaty.” He was very obviously both of these things. It was this moment that the waiter came by, awkwardly setting their plates in front of them and hurrying off, sensing that whatever was happening here, it was definitely not something he wanted to be privy to any longer than necessary. “Y-you just caught me off guard, that’s all. Marriage is, you know, a big word.”

“Well, sure.” Lup picked up a fork and began swirling it in her pasta. “But, like, haven’t you thought about it before?” She lifted the fork to her mouth.

“Thought about marrying you?” Barry was drenched in sweat now.

“Mm-hm,” Lup managed through a mouthful of linguini.

“Well, no, I mean, why would I?”

This was absolutely, positively, the wrong thing to say. It might have been the worst possible thing Barry could’ve said, and he’d said it, and he couldn't take it back.

Lup swallowed her food hard and gaped at him. “Fucking excuse me?”

“Uhh…” He took a long sip of his wine.

“What do you mean, ‘Why would I?’?”

The pressure was on now, and Barry tended to falter under pressure. “I just, I mean, marriage is, it’s such a long-term commitment, you know? It, uh, ties you down and stuff.”

Lup’s eyes went even wider. “Barry, what are you trying to say?” she asked softly.

Barry threw his hands up. “Nothing! I- nothing! Just, you’re such a, a free spirit, I, uh, wouldn’t wanna… hold you back?”

She deflated, and he knew he’d dug himself deeper. “Yeah, okay.” She put her elbow back on the table, making a fist with her left hand and resting her cheekbone on her knuckles, and looked down at her plate.

Silence. Barry cut off a bit of his salmon and ate it. “Mmm!” he hummed exaggeratedly. “The salmon is amazing! How’s your food?”

Lup pushed her noodles around on her plate, not looking up. “It’s fine. Fantastic.”

They stayed like that for a while, him slowly eating his food and watching her, her only taking small occasional bites and refusing to look anywhere but her plate.

“Um, are… are you ready for the check?” Barry asked after some time.

“Hm? Oh, yeah. Whenever.” Lup stood. “Just, like, excuse me for a minute first.” She walked quickly towards the restroom.

When the door closed behind her, Barry sighed and sunk his face into his hands. He didn’t have the slightest idea how he was going to recover. “Fuck,” he breathed into his hands.

After a minute, Barry heard the sound of footsteps, distinct from the clicking of Lup’s heels, approach the table. “Barold.”

He lifted his head to see Taako, still in his full chef’s uniform, glaring at him, arms crossed. Fuck, he was really in trouble now. “Hi, Taako.” In retrospect, maybe it was a mistake to have this dinner at Lup’s brother’s restaurant. It had seemed like a sweet idea at the time. Taako had only recently gotten comfortable cooking for large crowds again, and he and Lup made efforts to support him when they could.

Taako leveled a glare at Barry. “One of my little birdies has just informed me that she saw my sister run crying into the bathroom. Would you, dear customer, mind telling me why that is?”

Barry exhaled, long and slow. “I beefed it, Taako.”

“You beefed it? What does that mean, exactly?”

“Okay, she brought up marriage out of nowhere and it threw me off and I didn’t want to spoil the proposal and I panicked and maybe I said some things I didn’t mean.”

“Such as…?”

“Such as… ‘I’ve never thought about marrying you,’ and ‘Marriage ties people down’…”

“Oh, good Gods. All because you didn’t wanna spoil some dumb overly romantic surprise?”

Barry flushed. “Well, when you put it like that…”

Taako pinched the bridge of his nose. “Barry, I don’t know how you’re going to do it, but if you know what’s good for you, you’re going to have this fixed by the end of tonight.”

Barry grimaced. “I-I’ll try.”

“You’ve also wasted my food.” Taako nodded at Lup’s mostly-untouched plate and tossed a leather check holder onto the table. “And if I find any fire damage in my bathroom, I’m charging you for that, too.” With that, Taako turned and strode back into the kitchen.

By the time Lup came out of the bathroom, Barry’s credit card had already been returned to him and he was signing the receipt. He looked up at her and tried not to wince when he noticed the mascara tracks marking paths down her cheeks from her puffy eyes. “Ready to go?”

“Mm.” She still wouldn’t look at him. He led her outside, and she leaned against the building, hugging herself and staring into space, eyes unfocused.

Barry stood next to her uneasily. “Uh, I’m going to… call the taxi now?”

“Mm-hm.”

Barry didn’t reach for his phone. Another uncomfortable silence passed.

Then, he sighed. “Okay, I-I didn’t wanna do it like this, but…”

Barry knelt down, pulled the ring box out of his pocket, and flipped it open.

Lup finally turned to face him now, stunned. “Wh-what-?”

He blushed and began rambling. “I had this whole evening planned, and there was supposed to be a gondola ride, that’s where we were supposed to go next, and I was going to ask you there, but then you brought up marriage and I panicked and I put my fucking foot in my mouth. It was so dumb, I’m so sorry I said all that shit, I didn’t mean any of it, I just really wanted it to be a surprise. Gods, I was so fucking dumb, of course I wanna marry you, if you’ll still have m-“

Lup bent down, grabbed Barry’s face, and kissed him hard.

Barry felt all the tension in his body melt away. He shut the ring box and held it securely in one hand. He brought the other up to sweep Lup’s hair behind her ear and held it there, against her cheek.

When Lup pulled away, she rested her forehead against his. “You’re a fucking wreck, baby.”

He chuckled. She was crying again and, Barry realized, so was he. “I know.”

She beamed. “We’ll work on it together, fiancé.” She gave him a quick peck on the lips. “I can’t believe you did all that for a fucking gondola ride, though. I mean, no offense, dear, but I’m kinda glad we didn’t do that.”

He grimaced. “Well, about that, I paid a lot of money for it, and there’s still time…”

Lup pouted. “Do we have to? I’d rather go home.” She kissed the corner of his mouth. “I’ll make it up to you,” she breathed.

Barry smiled. “Yeah, okay. You’ve convinced me.”

“Perfect!” Lup stood up, smirked, and held out her left hand. “Now gimme that rock!”

Taako lifted his phone off the bedside table and squinted at his notifications.

Lulu: Missed Call

Lulu: Voicemail

Remembering the scene at his restaurant the night before, he inhaled sharply and unlocked his phone. There are two ways that situation could’ve played out, he thought. He navigated to his voicemailbox and pressed play on the most recent message.

“Ugh, it’s so annoying how you’re never awake when I have news. I have big fucking news, by the way, so I’m gonna be really pissed at you if you don’t call me back within the next, like, two hours. Okay, later.”

Taako smiled. It was a relief to hear her sound so chipper. It meant this news of hers was definitely good, and it meant that Taako didn’t have to fight Barold. He sat up, rubbed the dust out of his eyes, and called his sister.

[early2000smovieimagines]

Meeting and Dating Harry Potter

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

(Harry doesn’t get enough love.)

- You and Harry first meet at Hogwarts but he isn’t really aware of your existence until around fourth year when everyone else in the school turns their backs on him. 

- He’s making his way through the crowds of ‘Potter stinks’ buttons when he hears someone call his name. He almost doesn’t stop, expecting the same mocking he’d been receiving all week, but he does stop and there you are, giving him a small, kind smile and telling him that you “just wanted to wish him good luck in the tournament.”. 

“I-er, thanks.” He replies awkwardly, looking at you for another quick moment before nodding and quickly retreating. 

- A few days later, you were walking around the wooded areas of the school and just so happened to come across him sitting alone. You didn’t want to bother him; especially since you really didn’t know him and you sort of had a crush on the famous boy, but a twig snapped beneath your foot and he quickly glanced up at you, taking away your option of leaving before he saw you. 

- Giving a quick hello, apology, and excuse for interrupting him, you moved to walk away before you found yourself turning back and asking if he was alright. It didn’t take him long before he was explaining everything to you and; calmly, ranting about the situation. 

- You listen and give him a few words of encouragement before you find yourself walking back to Hogwarts with him, as though it were the most normal thing in the world. 

- Little by little, the two of you grow closer and become more comfortable with each other; even though he’s sort of forming a crush on you and gets easily flustered by you. 

- Probably unsurprisingly, he doesn’t just drop you when Hermione and, more so, Ron go back to being his friends. Instead, you’re welcomed into their little clique, particularly by Hermione who appreciates having another girl in the group and can immediately see that Harry has feelings for you; even if he stutteringly protests to it. 

- Funnily enough, initially, he doesn’t even think to ask you to the Yule ball until you’re sitting at breakfast one day and he looks at you and a light just goes off in his head. He’s just as nervous about asking you as he would be with anyone else; probably even more so considering the fact that he’s pretty much in love with you, but he manages to keep his cool a little better with you since you’re supposed to be his friend. 

“Erm, y/n? Would you like to go to the ball with me?” 

- When you happily agree, he gives you a “brilliant”, his heart racing and a small smile plastered across his lips. 

- Godric, the look on his face when he first saw you the day of the ball. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of you, his face turning a delicate shade of pink as you first took his arm and gave him a smile. He was so distracted by you that he hardly even noticed that he needed to start dancing with you, he only snapped out of it when you told him to take you by the waist. 

- It’s after the ball that he knows for sure that he’s in love with you, and if he’s able to triumph over dragons and defeat Lord Voldemort at the age of one then he can ask out the girl that he’s fallen for, right? Easier said than done.

- Harry is pretty awful with women. He’s awkward and shy and clumsy, and it’s adorable in retrospect; and in some other cases, but it’s not exactly beneficial to the evolution of your relationship. He keeps trying to confess, keeps wondering how he’s gonna do it, tries to do it but is interrupted in some way or just can’t bring himself to actually say what he wants to. 

- It isn’t until fifth year that he finally manages to do so. You’re both left alone in the room of requirement as everyone leaves after their most recent lesson. He walks over to you and the two of you talk. You ask him a few questions, make sure he’s alright with everything that’s happening and before you know it, you’re both drifting closer and kissing each other. 

- It’s soft and slow, and when you pull away, he’s got this dazed sort of look on his face that gives you butterflies. He gets a hold of himself as you go to grab your things and leave, calling out to you in a quick explosion of words, asking if you’d go out with him. 

- He has to repeat himself so that you can actually understand what he’d asked but once he does, a bright smile spreads across your face and his heart skips a beat as you agree. 

- Due to a certain frog-faced substitute headmaster, you can’t exactly express your feelings in public, but just knowing that you’re officially his girlfriend gives him a certain sense of comfort and reassurance that otherwise wouldn’t be there. 

- The girl of his dreams is finally his and he couldn’t be happier. 

- Harry, in general, just isn’t the type of person to be all over you while you’re out in public. He tends to save most of his affection for when you’re behind closed doors, mainly because he’s a bit shy and easily flustered; especially by you. 

- Given the fact that Harry was provided with nothing but negative attention throughout his entire childhood, he’s definitely going to be a bit awkward when it comes to affection. That being said: he loves when you give it to him and really starts to crave it after you first pay him special attention.

- Handholding. He’ll tentatively slip his hand into yours while you’re standing together or grip it tightly as you both excitedly run somewhere.

- He could genuinely hug you for hours if you let him.

- Gentle touches.

- Soft kisses.

- Quick kisses in the midst of danger or when he’s leaving to do something important.

- Kissing his scar. 

- Ruffling and playing with his consistently messy hair.

- Hair petting. He’ll usually stroke his hand down/through your hair as you kiss.

- Long, loving snogging sessions. Sometimes, you’ll pull off his glasses so that you can kiss him better and he just melts.

- He loves cuddling with you; it’s one of the things that really bring him comfort. You’ll usually be the little spoon whenever you do, he’ll bury his face in your hair and wrap his arms tight around you, not letting go until morning.

- Considering the fact that he has like zero experience with girls, he usually just calls you by your name since that’s what seems most natural to him.

- Flustering him whether you mean to or not; it’s usually quite easy to do since he’s so inexperienced with girls.

- Getting mini gifts. A piece of candy here, a little trinket there, things like that.

- Dates at the Three Broomsticks. He loves kissing you and tasting the butterbeer on your lips.

- Dancing together.

- Spending time alone in the room of requirements.

- Sneaking around all the unknown tunnels and rooms of Hogwarts with him.

- Him using the invisibility cloak to come see you and sneak the two of you out somewhere.

- Study dates.

- Him helping teach you spells and defensive magic. He likes seeing that look of glee on your face when you do something right, and having the excuse to hold and guide your hand/stand close to you.

- Watching his eyes widen in shock and a smile spread across his face when you do something impressive. He’s so proud of you.

- Awkwardly and shyly reading news articles written about the two of you. Your parents have quite the reaction when they find out you’re dating the boy wizard himself.

- Hagrid gushing over and teasing the two of you. He sometimes gets a little sentimental seeing the two of you together. He knew Harry when he was such a wee little thing and here he is, all grown up and in such a lovely little relationship.

- Cheering him on at Quidditch games regardless of what house you’re in. It makes him so happy to see you rooting for him.

- Endearing sarcasm. He can be a smartass when he wants to be.

- Attempting to write to him over the summer.

- Having him stay with you over the summer or at least letting him visit for some time once you hear how he’s treated by the Dursley’s.

- Running to hug him when you’re finally reunited at the beginning of the school year.

- Being teased by Malfoy. Harry has probably almost killed him a couple of times; only stopped by the fact that Ron was holding him back.

- Hermione and Ron giving the two of you looks.

- Becoming a part of the golden “trio” and having double dates with Ron and Hermione.

- Accompanying him on adventures and quests.

- When everything starts to turn to shit around you, he may try to break up with you in order to protect you. He loves you too much to risk you getting hurt because of him.

- Standing by him, even when things go wrong and other people desert him.

- Comforting him. Harry has gone through a lot and though he won’t admit it to most people, he needs a little support. You’re his rock and he couldn’t live without you.

- He always tries his best to comfort you, even though he usually has no idea how or if his plan will work. That being said, he always just seems to know how to cheer you up.

- He’s a pretty jealous person but he tries to hide it most of the time. He hates the thought; and sight, of you with other boys and gets a bit annoyed whenever he sees you with them. He’ll be a bit passive aggressive when you go over to him, saying he’s “brilliant” when you ask what’s wrong. He just doesn’t want to lose you.

- He’s always surprised whenever you actually get jealous over him but he sort of likes it. He feels bad that you’re upset and reassures you that he only loves you but he can’t deny that it feels nice to know that you care enough about him to be jealous.

- Overprotective. After everything that’s happened to him and the people around him, he watches over you like you’re the most precious thing on earth. He’d defend you with his life if he had to.

- Harry tends to give you a sort of silent treatment when he’s mad, usually before saying something passive aggressive or harsh when you don’t really acknowledge his behavior or go to leave him alone. You’ll most likely argue until the issue is solved or until he shuts you out, either doing so by walking away in a huff or causing you to leave by his lack of responses.

- Regardless of whether you were in the wrong or if he was, he’s most likely the one to approach you. If you were in the wrong, he’ll come up to you and make some comment, trying to prompt an apology; because that’s all he really wants.

- If he’s in the wrong, he’ll feel really guilty and keep staring over at you until he can’t take it and finally asks if you can talk. He’ll ask how you are before telling you that he’s sorry and that he knows he was wrong. After he does so, he’ll ask if you forgive him/if you guys can go back to normal, smiling and kissing your cheek when you agree.

- There's quite a few I love you’s in your relationship. He loves hearing you say it; even though it flusters him, and he just feels the need to let you know how much he cares about you; especially as you get older and he loses more people without being able to let them know how important they were to him.

- The two of you will have to go through some difficult situations but he knows he wants to be with you for the rest of his life. You just need to get through this rough patch and then you can have a perfect little life together.

[redwinterroses]

A while back there were some requests for Xisuma angst or h/c that was unrelated to EX, so... I am attempting to fill this void. Heh.

Part 1 below the cut, Part 2 to be posted at a later date, and all to be put up on AO3 when finished. :D

__________________________________

In retrospect, deciding to build a mega honey farm the first time he’d built any kind of honey farm might have been… overambitious.

Xisuma finished hurriedly blocking off the door to his honey farm building—the random assortment of blocks he’d scrambled to grab might have been funny in any other circumstances; there were literally diamond and emerald blocks mixed in with podzol and three stray jungle planks—and let himself sag against the new wall with a sigh. Looking up, he could see dozens of buzzing bees drifting about in the high-ceilinged space, bumbling off the walls and curiously exploring all the nooks and crannies of the rafters and support beams. Fortunately, he didn’t think too many of them had escaped the building altogether, but it was going to take him hours to get them all corralled back into their hives.

One misplaced bit of redstone and a touch of lag. That’s all it took to undo days of work on this farm.

A new message pinged onto his HUD.

<Docm77> who is lagging out chunks in shopping district? <iskall85> not me but i feel it too at my base. server lag? <cubfan135> it was fine last night but this morning is a mess. rip my melon farm the timing’s all out of whack now <Grian> blame mumbo <MumboJumbo> hey! not me this time!

X lifted a hand and disconnected his helmet, the seal hissing as the pressure equalized. The jungle air was thick and humid, and as he pulled off the helmet and ran a hand through his sweaty hair (he needed a haircut; add that to the ever-growing list of things to do yesterday) it was difficult to fill his lungs with the heavy oxygen. But for just a minute, he needed to get the screens and data out of his vision. The bees he’d just released hummed with annoying contentment, and he glared up at them.

“Just my luck,” he muttered to himself. Or to the bees. Or to the universe. Who even knew at this point. “Okay. Right, then.” He reluctantly slipped the helmet back onto his head, taking a deep breath as it resealed and filled with purified, thinner air.

“Take it from the top.”

Three hours later, he had the last of the bees retrieved and in its proper hive, the redstone repaired, and a failsafe in place to hopefully keep it from happening again. His stomach rumbled, but a quick glance at the messages in his inbox showed that he really didn’t have time to stop for lunch. He’d grab something later.

For now—he needed to deal with the lag issue. It was being felt across the server and probably had something to do with one of the plugins he’d installed recently needing to update and that was going to take a while to track down, so he headed up to his office in the main base tower and settled down at the console. Hypno had already died to flying into a wall thanks to the lag, and chat was full of complaints about ghost blocks and broken redstone.

<Xisuma> sorry, had an issue with my bees. Working on the problem now.

He didn’t wait for a response, toggling off chat and settling in to review the server settings and files. Individually. One by one.

Admin work was… settling, in an odd way. It was a system that he could understand: predictable and ordered. His attention could hone in on the coding and the settings and the bits and bytes, fingers clacking away at the keyboard, pulling folders and files from one side of his control screen to the other, checking and rechecking each item as it crossed his exploratory path. X fell into a rhythm, the only sounds in his office the humming of his control panel, the tapping of his fingers against keys and screens, and the ever-present soft hiss of his air supply.

He didn’t even notice when it got dark.

“Aha—” his voice, a bit rough from disuse, broke the silence of the office. “There you are.”

The offending file—once he’d found it, buried in a zipped archive in a subfolder on a backup drive—was simple to deal with, and with an exhausted flourish, he saved the changes and sent the information to the server. He could feel the minute it took effect, the entire world seeming to give a little lurch and then spinning on with renewed vigor.

Satisfied, he pulled up chat once more and sent:

<Xisuma> that ought to do the trick!

There was no response, and when he checked the status tab, he gave a small, self-deprecating grimace. It was incredibly late; everyone was either asleep or afk.

That was fine, though. They’d see it in the morning.

In the meantime, with the server this quiet, it was the perfect opportunity to catch up on the half dozen other admin tasks he’d been putting off. No one would mind if certain things went offline while they were all asleep, and he could have it all done by the time anyone else woke up.

Stifling a yawn, he got up and headed into his storage room to grab some supplies, already pulling up a list in his HUD of what needed done. He’d take a nap after everyone else was up and about again. For now: work.

.

Time… time was a construct. And a rather pointless one at that.

Lost in the checks on his to-do list and the comforting monotony of moving items into chests and out of chests and realizing there was something he needed to do before he could complete this project, but in order to do that he needed an item from a farm, which turned out to be overflowing so something needed to be done with those items but now the sorter is full and it really would be more efficient if he reconfigured the input redstone and—

He didn’t even really notice the black specks creeping into the edges of his vision, or the way he was having to do the same tasks over again because he’d done them wrong the first time—wait this chest is for andesite and I’ve just gone and sorted in a bunch of gravel—

It really was only a matter of time—construct that it was—before it all caught up with him.

.

There were voices in the darkness.

“…found him! Over here—”

“…is he doing? Grab the…”

“X? Xisuma, can you hear me?”

Hm? His consciousness swam up through the velvet darkness just long enough to realize that he was lying on the chilly concrete floor of his storage room, half-draped over a shulker with the edges digging into his ribs. Oh. Must have… dozed off…

There were figures moving around him, and voices that sounded concerned. He furrowed his brow, trying to pry his eyes open the rest of the way—if there was a problem, he needed to fix it. He was the admin. It was his job.

“Help me get him…”

“…take off the helmet?”

“Better leave it on for now…”

And then he was being lifted, and he didn’t have the energy to really fight off the fog that rolled over him, pulling him back down into the gentle, silent Void.

[bangchanshehe]

The Trespasser pt. 16

You were on top of the world with the new title of leader of your family’s clan. You were the strongest clan in all of the orient and you were proud. But your family feels that there are threats still lurking around making you a target. When they introduce you to a potential man for a business and marriage merger will it help your clan or make matters worse?

Word count: 2.2k

Wonho x Reader, Shownu x Reader, Jooheon x Reader

You had dismissed Minhyuk from your office after the two of you had devised a plan on how to take care of Shownu quickly and quietly. But if you were being completely honest with yourself you wanted to rip his heart out in front of everyone to set an example of what happens to those that cross you. But Minhyuk assured you that doing things quietly would be better so that the rest of the clan doesn’t go on a massive witch hunt for anyone that they find remotely suspicious. and in retrospect now that you had come up with some sort of course of action you did think that making a big scene would be a lot worse. It would only call for other clans to get more of their baiters and spies in through your doors, and it was the last thing that you wanted.

You looked over Shownu’s file that you had pulled up on your monitor and you let out a long sigh. How in the hell did you fall for a spy baiter? Sure, you had never shared secret clan information, but Shownu already knew enough to cause a world of hurt for you if he really wanted to. And more than that Shownu was someone who you thought that you could rely on. When things got tough or when you needed a shoulder to cry on, he was always there, and he always helped you out in whatever way he could. He was a dear and intimate friend to you which only made this entire process more painful and unbelievable to you.

You sent out a quick message to Hyungwon, calling him into your office and as you waited you poured yourself a cup of coffee. You desperately wanted something stronger than coffee but until you had your problems squared away you couldn’t afford to drink or relax. You had a traitor right under your nose and now that he knew that you had him exposed anything could happen.

“You wanted to see me?” Hyungwon said through a yawn

“You might want to sit down. we have a lot to discuss” you warned him, and he immediately took a seat and sat back in his chair, forcing himself to pay attention through his sleepiness. Although, you did suspect that it would quickly go away once you relayed the information that you knew to him “We have a really big problem on our hands…”

“Okay… what’s wrong?” he asked confused “did I do something wrong?”

“No, of course not. But I and a few select privileged members have recently found that we have a baiter inside the clan.” You confessed and you treaded lightly as you continued to speak. If Shownu and other spies were able to sneak in, then you assumed that anyone could be a spy at this point in time. So, you wanted to give Hyungwon just enough information to get your feelers out there without actually exposing any sort of plan to him. “I want you to go to the warehouse for the next few days and really dig deep into existing and new members and see if you find anyone with tell-tell signs of possibly being disloyal. And I mean anyone. You’ll have to work side by side with Minhyuk to search through the databases to check backgrounds, but I also want you to interact with everyone. If someone you find suspicious steps out to take a phone call, I want you listening in… if someone seems to be snooping around where they don’t belong, I want you to follow them and report it back to me.”

“Woah woah woah… what is going on?” he asked confused

“As I’ve said I can’t really go into detail of who because we suspect that there might be multiple people. But as a strong baiter I have faith that you’ll be able to read peoples body language and facial expressions and help identify anyone that might be of interest.” You replied

“What even brought this concern on?” he asked, concern etched in his face. his eyes roamed your face as he looked for answers but you

And for half of a second you considered telling him everything, but you knew that if you had half of a brain that you should keep this as close as possible. The more people that knew that you were digging around the worse things could be in the long run. If you were going to successfully take care of Shownu then you needed to be smart and think before you did things irrationally with emotions in the way.

“Hyungwon… I need you to not ask any more questions. It’s not only for your safety but for mine as well.” You replied

Hyungwon nodded his head, and you could tell that he was a little hurt that you refused to confide more information in him. He stood up and was prepared to leave your office, but you had stopped him just before he left to say one more thing.

“Oh Hyungwon…” you called to him and he turned his attention back to you “our conversation is to never leave this room.” You added

He gave you one final look of understanding, and he exited your office, leaving you alone with your thoughts. And before you could move on to do other things you knew that there was one more person who you needed to talk with, but you weren’t sure how to even start the conversation.

You stood up from your desk and left your office, making sure to lock it on your way out. And with a short walk across the hall, you came face to face with Hoseok’s closed door. You knocked on it lightly before you opened the door and found no one inside. You let out a single sigh of regret and were about to leave his room when you found that his secret light pocket had been left ajar from the wall.

You knew that it would be a long shot that he would keep your fingerprint saved into the security data base, but you attempted to unlock his door and was pleasantly surprised to find it beep and unlock itself. You opened the door and found Hoseok taking a nap inside on his sofa. You lightly treaded over to his side and sat down on the floor, watching his calm face as he slept. You ran your fingers over his eyebrows softly and smiled down at him apologetically

“I’m sorry that I didn’t believe you” you whispered to him softly, trying your best not to wake him up during your confessions “I didn’t want to believe that someone who I considered to be my friend would actually be capable of betraying me like that…. But now that I know that it was all true I don’t know how to apologize to you. Because I really really fucked up this time and I don’t know how to make up for that.” You put your head down on the sofa and turned it away from him as tears began to threat to spill over. “I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want a single thing to do with me or my family after this… after I completely betrayed what trust you had in me… after I stupidly sided with someone who hurt you instead of believing you the moment that you confided in me.”

You sniffled and wiped away the tears that escaped. You knew that Hoseok was locking himself up in this room because he felt unsafe in his room or with you. And you felt horribly for that. But not that he felt so threatened, but because it was your fault for not protecting him. You closed your eyes and wished that you could fall asleep here with him and take a nap, but you knew that there was too much on your plate.

You sat up from the sofa and scanned Hoseok’s body, surprised to see that when you looked at his face once more, he was watching you back. He didn’t move a muscle and his eyes were glaring at you as if he was truly disappointed to see you.

“I’m sorry…” you said wiping away at the tears that had spilt “I didn’t mean to wake you up”

“Did you mean what you said?” he asked, and you nodded your head slowly “do you really feel bad for not believing me?” he asked again

You threw your hands up in the air and then gestured to your face “I’m in here crying and talking to you in your sleep, aren’t I?”

Hoseok looked over your features for a moment and you could see his stone-cold expression start to break. His eyebrows tremored and his lips pouted as if he was going to say something but after a long pause, he put his focused expression back on.

“Good...” he said refusing to look at you

You let out a sniffle and decided that right now he probably needed time and space away from you. And you being in here crying in his face was probably not making the circumstances any better for you. You picked your pride up and stood up from where you were sitting, ready to make your shameful exit. This time you had crossed the line and you knew that Hoseok wasn’t going to forgive you so easily, but the irrational part of your brain tried to convince you otherwise. And now you had to pay the consequences.

“If you ever do that to me again…” Hoseok spoke up causing you to freeze in your place “I don’t know what I’ll do… so you have to promise me that you will never doubt me again.”

You turned to face him, and you could feel the tears come up to the surface again. You hated that you were acting like such a cry baby right now, but you needed someone who you could vent to, and you thought that you had lost that only person.

“I promise that I will never second guess you or treat the words you say as insignificant.” You said with a shaky voice

“Come here” Hoseok whispered

You waisted no time in going back to Hoseok’s side. Right now, all that you needed was for him to hold you and tell you that everything was going to be alright, even if you knew that they weren’t. Hoseok moved over so that he was as close to the cushions as possible, making room for you to sleep next to him and hold him. And as soon as the space was available you softly climbed down next to him and buried your face in his chest. You threw your arm around his torso and your leg around his own, clinging onto him.

“Do you want to take a nap with me?” he asked you softly as he left a kiss on top of your head

“I do… but I really don’t have the time to waste right now. I have to get back into my office so I can sort out this mess”

“What are you thinking of doing with him?” he asked hesitantly

“At first, I wanted to beat him to a pulp… but now I think the best thing would be to lock him up here and weed out any other members who might be disloyal. If I can get access to his phone and laptop, then I might be able to see who exactly he’s been speaking to and what they know. But since he knows that we know about him it’s going to be even harder to pin him down.”

Hoseok hummed out in response, and you relished in the feeling of his chest vibrate beneath you. You dug your face in further to his chest and Hoseok began to softly play with your hair with his good hand.

“do you need any help from my clan?” he asked you softly

You thought it over for a moment and at first you were reluctant to get his clan involved in your drama but the longer that you thought about it the more you thought that it wouldn’t be such a bad idea. It was likely that Shownu had no idea what his clan’s men looked like, and baiters were always on jobs like this, taking female partners out to follow someone around under the false pretense that the two were on a date. It made it easier for people to follow others around without being suspected, but you knew that if someone was going to follow Shownu that they couldn’t be just anyone and typical tactics weren’t going to work on him. Now that his identity was out he was going to be on high alert at all times.

“actually, I think that it might be useful to have some of your men collaborate with us on this.” You admitted “if we are going to try to go after a spy quietly then we are going to have to pull out the big guns.”

[ghostdrew22]

I’ll Always Wait For You || Draco Malfoy

Requested: No Pairing: post-war Draco Malfoy x fem!reader Warnings: ridiculous crap I make up for plot purposes, allusions to sex, idk crime-committing? Summary: Draco and Y/N pursue a life of crime together and what starts as an odd, professional partnership turns into a perfect romance- loosely based on Bonnie & Clyde.

WORDS : 2451

~~~

You walk into the Malfoy Manor’s ballroom with determination and a convincing smile of excitement. You know what a risk you’re taking by coming into their home under false pretenses but it’s the only way you’ll be able to get what you want and leave remotely unnoticed.

You catch a glimpse of the blonde who the ball is being thrown for and flash him a smile before immediately turning away from him and walking toward the bar. You know that he doesn’t know you, and that in retrospect it’s quite idiotic to even think that he’d notice at all when he has no idea who you are, but it’s worth a try for your plan to succeed.

You are a year older than him, and while he’d gone to Hogwarts, you were studying at Drumstrang throughout your school career. You didn’t come across each other often in your youth because your families didn’t run in the same circles- your parents were snobby, upper-middle class purebloods who looked down on muggles and death eaters alike, which meant you’d had a very minimal role in the events leading up to the wizarding war and hadn’t known much of the Malfoy’s growing up other than the snippets of information you came across in newspapers or social events.

But they’d recently caught your eye when it had come out that they possessed the ‘Diadem of Thule’- a powerful wizarding artifact that has limitless cloaking and transfiguration abilities, as well as the power to amplify a wizard’s magic- and kept it safely in a vault deep within their home that’s protected by blood magic. It’s the perfect weapon for what you want to accomplish and you’ve come here tonight to get it.

“I’ve never seen you before.” A voice behind you booms and you turn to face it with a small smile- it’s the blond Malfoy heir himself.

“Probably because I’ve never been.”

“Funny and beautiful?” He raises his eyebrows playfully at you, “Still doesn’t explain how you got in.”

You see that the banter-like tone and expression on his face haven’t disappeared so you decide to continue, “Oh but why reveal all my secrets when you’ve got the entire night to fall in love with me?”

“Fall in love with you?” He chuckles heartily and you bite your lip cheekily.

“I mean, that’s what these are for, right?” You raise your eyebrows in questioning- referring to the purpose of the balls.

He shakes his head with a laugh, “You’ve got me there.” He walks past you and toward the bar where he asks the bartender for something and comes back with two small shot glasses.

“For me?” You ask with a smile and he nods with a smirk.

“Let’s make a toast.”

“To?”

“To never attending another one of these ever again.” He chuckles and you furrow your eyebrows.

“And why’s that?”

“According to you, I won’t need to keep looking for a girl any longer.”

“Then cheers to that!” You exclaim with a laugh and knock your shot glass into his before downing the liquid with a grimace.

~~~

“Are you done? They’re coming.” You whisper back to your partner.

“Don’t rush me.” Draco grits back and you roll your eyes.

“Sorry that I don’t particularly like the idea of being ambushed by muggle police officers and aurors.”

“Then you’ll be glad to know none of that will be happening today.” He replies as he makes his way over to you and kisses your cheek. “I’m sorry for being so aggressive there, you know how I get under pressure.”

Annoying? You almost ask but bite your lip and shake your head instead while giving him a smile, “All good baby.”

“Great. Now let’s get this,” He holds up the bag of money that he just filled up, “Somewhere safe.”

“Ready when you are.” You smirk and he chuckles while pulling out the diadem and handing it to you. He takes your hand and interlocks your fingers as he starts to countdown.  “3.”

“2.” You continue.

“1.” He finishes as the sound of sirens outside of the bank erupts into the atmosphere. You grin at him and quickly whisper the counter-curse that you’d cast on the bank’s patrons to lull them asleep while you and Draco got busy- slowly they all start to regain consciousness in confusion as they each notice the two, masked figures standing before them.

You’re about to apparate the two of you out, when suddenly none other than Harry fucking Potter and his crew of fellow aurors barge into the bank’s foyer with their wands out. Before you can whisper out the words to save yourselves, Harry casts a hex that lands on Draco and renders him incapable of apparating out.

“Get out. Now.” Draco says immediately, not even bothering to face you and instead unhooking your fingers to hand you the bag.

A wave of panic encompasses you for a moment, almost as if you’ve forgotten the plan that the two of you have in place for situations like this, but it’s gone as quick as it came and you grab the bag of money out of Draco’s hands before apparating yourself out.

“Fuck!” You exclaim once you’re back in the little cottage that the two of you have in the countryside.

After that night at the Manor, eight months ago, you and Draco grew quite close. That’s if your idea of close is accidentally falling in love with your literal partner in crime. Your plan to sleep with him, swipe a dollop of his blood somehow and sneak down into the family vault the next morning to get the Diadem had failed dismally. He woke up right as you were getting dressed and told you that he knew who you were and what you were upto; Y/N L/N, the notorious bank robber that had been terrorizing London only nights before. And in some weird twist of fate, he told you that he wanted to join you.

His interest in you had only peaked when the newspapers started to gossip about a witch/wizard who was rampaging London stealing absurd amounts of cash from Muggle Banks, he couldn’t deny the flare of envy that had shot up within him at the prospect of not being the one with the genius idea. So he did what he did best; he plotted a scheme to lure you into his home so that he could propose a partnership, knowing that someone of your caliber wouldn’t be able to resist an artifact that made your magic traceless, knowing that you’d salivate at the prospect of no longer needing to live life on the run.

You refused at first, claiming that you were a solo act and he didn’t have anything to offer besides a family heirloom that you could bloody well do without considering how far you’d made it without the diadem. But he somehow convinced you, danced around your thoughts with his words and backed you up against a metaphorical wall that left you with no choice but to accept. You’d hated working with him for the first two months, the initial four robberies being horrible and close calls, but then slowly the two of you found a rhythm, a system to work together, and soon enough partners became friends and friends bubbled into lovers. Eventually he wore you down enough for you to want to run off to the countryside with him.

“Cocky bastard.” You mumble out loud with a sigh, “I should let him stay there for his stupidity.”

You laugh at the thought of Draco Malfoy being left in Harry Potter’s custody and eventually transferred into Azkaban- facing the same fate that his parents did but for a crime of much smaller cost. He would hate it. And he’d probably find a way out just to kill you for abandoning him. Yeah, leaving him there is not an option.

~~~

“Harry Potter chasing after a wizard who robs banks? You’re truly running after small dice now- talk about a downgrade from defeating the Dark Lord.”

“So I take it you’re not going to tell me who you’re working with?” Harry asks from across the interrogation table- glaring daggers into the Malfoy’s blue eyes.

“How is this confusing for you? I said, no.”

“Is it Y/N L/N? We haven’t been able to trace the magic left at the scenes back to it’s owner for a few months now, we thought that she’d gone dark and you were a copycat.” Draco scoffs at the accusation- despite the fact that he never would’ve been able to concoct the idea on his own anyway- “But maybe she’s just working with you.”

“Didn’t mummy ever tell you that no means no?” Draco furrows his eyebrows in mock sympathy, “Pestering me about the issue in order to get a yes? Sounds a bit like coercion.”

“Don’t act like I’m trying to get in your pants.” Harry rolls his eyes- having forgotten how mockingly flirtatious Draco gets when cornered.

“I never even implied that.” Draco shrugs. “But if this is how you do it then I’m concerned.”

“I’m bloody married, I don’t need to get in people’s pants.”

“Married huh? How’d you manage that?” Draco asks with a chuckle, “Show her the ring everyday until she finally decided to just marry you?”

“I didn’t coerce Ginny into marrying me.”

“That’s what he said.” Draco sing-songs in a mocking tune before licking his lips and shutting them for a moment. He looks back up suddenly with a thought, “Maybe I should give Ginny a ring and ask her.” Draco smirks mischievously and Harry grimaces at the sight.

“Fuck you, Malfoy.”

“Oh, I bet you wish you could.” Draco smirks and Harry feels himself slightly flush but clears his throat.

“This is way off base.”

“Indeed. Just wanted to catch up before we part ways.”

“Part ways?” Harry asks with a laugh, “We’re not parting ways for another few months, I’m the working officer on this case so you ought to get used to me.”

“Mhmm.”

“You’re awfully calm for someone that’s about to join his parents in Azkaban.”

Draco flinches, ever so slightly, at the mention of his parents and Azkaban, but recovers quickly and turns his head to the wall on his left- focusing very intently on it.

“Why are you looking at that wall?”

“No reason.”

“No reason?” Harry furrows his eyebrows before realization dawns on him, “Malfoy are you waiting for somethi-“

Before Harry can finish his sentence the wall has been knocked down and you’ve grabbed Draco to uncuff him from the table. “Thanks for watching him.” You say with a smile as you clasp your hand with Draco’s and apparate the two of you to the car that you’d left waiting a few streets away.

“What took you so bloody long?” He mumbles as he climbs into the car.

“I was giving you time to flirt with your old crush - you know, fulfill your schoolboy fantasies.” You reply with a smirk and he groans.

“I told you one thing!”

“I’m sorry love, I had to make at least one joke!” You exclaim back while laughing and he rolls his eyes but smiles at the sight of you.

“I missed you.”

You roll your eyes at his sentiment but smile as well, “It wasn’t even that long.”

“Any moment I’m away from you feels like forever.” He grins.

“Oh, how did you survive!” You ask mockingly and laugh- reaching over to give him a kiss on the lips finally. He melts against the feel of your lips against his own- the only reminder he has that you’re his, and he’s happy, and the two of you will always be together. You’re his only reprieve from the constant agony of being alive, from the anger at his parents that sits and wells up in his heart.

A life of crime was not what Draco imagined himself pursuing, not in the slightest, but he’d do anything to spend his life with you. The money, the cars, the houses, the fame- none of it fills him up the way that you do, just by living and breathing on planet earth. “Easy. I waited for you.”

“What?” You ask- having forgotten what you two were talking about before the kiss.

“I survived because I knew you were coming. I waited for you.”

“And what if I didn’t?” You raise your eyebrows- even though you know that you wouldn’t even dream of living without him.

“I still would’ve waited.” He smiles and kisses you again, “I’ll always wait for you.”

“I told you that you’d fall in love with me.” You say with a smirk as you turn to start the car and drive off to your next destination.

<~>

Draco would genuinely start a life of crime to spite his reputation and you can’t convince me otherwise. I sort of feel like I half-assed this one just so I could get it done but at the same time I do really like it.

Anyway, love you all

jean <3

[clotpole-art]

Retrospective: Illustrated Merlin Alphabet Challenge

Finally finished the Merlin Alphabet Challenge, so here's the artist notes no one asked for! See below the cut for comments on each piece by order of creation. Be warned folks, it's a long post.

Before we begin: credit to @merlin-gifs for the challenge, which can be found here. It's awesome, go do it.

First thing you should know is I did probably 80-90% of these while on phone calls or in Zoom meetings and that's reflected in the simplicity of most pieces -- the compositions aren't complicated, the lines aren't refined, the coloring is slapdash. If you noticed variation in quality of the pieces, that's why!

Second: I tried to focus on trying something new for each drawing. Didn't always happen, but this challenge did succeed in helping me push me out of my own comfort zone.

Without further ado...

A is for Arthur Pendragon

Textures, baby! Brushed metal of his armor, scratchy linen texture of his shirt, wispy softness of hair and skin. I'd recently gotten my tablet out of storage after a year of figuring out where the hell I was going to live and this was one of the first pieces of digital art I spent time on. Glad it was Arthur kicking us off!

B is for the Beginning of the End (1x08)

Fun fact, I did not draw this with my tablet. I drew it with my work computer's touchscreen. It was awful, would not recommend.

C is for Camelot

I wanted to get used to different brushes, so landscape of the castle it was! There are brushes that help with drawing grass; I did not use said brushes and my wrist hurt afterward. That being said, I really enjoyed working on this and it was one of the few pieces I didn't do while multitasking.

D is for Daegal

Also drawn on my work computer's touchscreen, not my tablet. I didn't learn my lesson from B and the experience was even worse. This is my least favorite piece which sucks because it's Daegal so I'm slated to redo this sometime in the near future. Gotta do our boy justice.

E is for Elyan

Oh, I adored drawing this. Elyan often gets shafted in terms of fandom appreciation so I made sure to choose Elyan for this prompt and to participate in the Elyan fest. Plus, I love a good ghost story and figuring out a way to include the druid spectre was fun. Didn't multitask on this piece because Elyan deserved my full attention.

F is for Freya

Ho boy. This piece. I have such mixed feelings on this drawing. Really really didn't like it after I'd decided it was done and very nearly scrapped the whole thing. I had a vision in my head that I just couldn't render into reality and it frustrated me SO MUCH. Looking back, I like it much better than I did when I first created it.

G is for Gwaine

What can I say, he's pretty when he's cold. I didn't stretch too much with this one -- it's my normal drawing style, I was just trying to find a brush that mimicked the softness of pencil.

H is for Hunith

Another one that didn't stray too far from my comfort zone. I was stupid sick and slammed at work, so a motherly Hunith manifested herself. I blame the bad brush choice on the cold medicine.

I is for Isolde

I woke up and chose violence! Tried to vary my figure drawing style a little in this piece but my brain resisted, resulting in... this. Not mad at it, but not happy with it either. Poor Isolde.

J is for Juggling

Ah, this lovely piece was drawn during a particularly vexing meeting at work. Fun fact, there's another version of this line art that's less about Merlin's stress and more about mine.

K is for Knights of Camelot

Continuing the theme of doodling through bad news and shit meetings. Like I said above, normally meeting doodles aren't complex because I'm concentrating on something else. This one was more involved because I didn't want to concentrate on the meeting. I have a few issues with this from a technical standpoint (perspective, my nemesis) but it's still one of my favorites. Tried some funky coloring technique, didn't hate it.

V is for Vibrant Colors

And here is where we said fuck the rules and started going out of alphabetical order! This one was really fun to do and I loved kicking off Albion Party with this as my first submission. The colors were a challenge (as I hoped they would be) and this is the first time I had to do some color tweaking midway though and after finishing the coloring process. Vibrant Arthur, my beloved. This started as a multitask doodle but took dedicated time to finish.

O is for Old Religion

The concept for this one was buzzing in my head for a bit before a quote-prompt solidified it. I adore the thought of more visible, tangible representations of Merlin as the son of the elements, of "magic itself" -- not just sun-gold eyes, but sea-water hair and sandstone-skin. A complement to the vibrant Arthur portrait.

S is for Sorcerers

When I said I wanted to challenge myself, I wasn't kidding. Ho boy, this was fun but frustrating. I wanted to completely illustrate a gif. So I did. Will I do something like this again? Maybe. A while from now.

M is for Morgause

See above -- same illustrated gif style so at least I was able to reuse some drawings. Poor Morgause ended up looking a little wretched here because I was mentally done with this when I was drawing her. Love the concept of tarot cards + Merlin but others are doing it so I won't continue this series.

Z is for Zzzz

This one was specifically done to test out some custom brushes I made in Krita to make abstract background drawing easier for me. I think they turned out well! Plus who doesn't love bb iridescent Aithusa.

L is for Leon, P is for Percival

Quick, minimal doodles of the boys! Mentally, I was going for a Brady's-style retro ensemble cast TV show credits feel. Not mad at it! Some boys look closer to their actors than others (I think my brain broke drawing Percy, my apologies to Tom Hopper).

T is for Tristan

It wasn't until after I posted this that I realized there was more than one Tristan in Merlin. Could have drawn Isolde's bf but I drew Ygraine's dumb jock undead brother instead. Had some fun with dark greys and blacks here regardless.

Q is for Queen Annis

Best royal in Albion, bar none. I tried a different coloring technique here and I kinda like it! may make it my go-to but we'll see. Old habits are hard to break. Also: our queen deserved more badass clothes.

X is for Arthur X Merlin

Oh, be still my shipper heart. Doodled and colored during a meeting. I had hoped to spend more time on it outside of multitasking but alas, work is a bitch. This one is slated for a rework sometime in the future; I adore the concept too much to let it go without creating another version of this that isn't an utter mess.

U is for Uther's Ward

And here's my attempt at forgoing line art. Not fun, do not like.

Y is for Young Warlock

Channeled some pain into this one. Those are the dead eyes of someone who had been told that he'd succeeded when his friend died. That the destiny he'd been expecting to carry on his shoulders into old age was done and dusted before he turned 30. Grief plus the existential dread of the aimless immortal. Oof. One of my favs.

N is for Nimueh, R is for Rising Sun, W is for Will

And we end on this sorry offering. I was away from home for a while without my tablet and I just got tired of waiting. So, pen doodles at the airport. This was a challenge in its own right because 1. pen only and 2. I wasn't able to pull Netflix up for a reference on the fly. Which is why Will's face is obscured and Nimueh looks.... not like Nimueh lol.

In summary: this was a goddamn joy to do. I finished 26 letter prompts in approximately 21 weeks, which exceeded my own unspoken goal of filling one letter per week. I found a good, happy corner of the Merlin fandom after a years-long hiatus away from being a fandom creator. If you did make it this far with me, thanks for reading my inane comments and giving this little project even a moment of your time -- I'm so grateful.

[wevegottogetaway]

I love you

First I love yous...do I need to say more? Anyway, please don’t hesitate to reach out for anything, whether that be comments, requests, feedback or just to have a chat! Happy reading xx

It’s been three days of utter pandemonium ripping through your brain in complete disarray. Three days of pent up stress storming through your mind as you ran like a headless chicken to try and find a handle on a situation that frankly, you didn’t give a rat’s ass about.

It all started when your boss had called you in his office, his signature tyrant-resting face on, solid frown drafting his features in a look of severity. Well, this can’t be good, you’d immediately thought once you took a hesitant seat across his desk. You’d hoped for a benign reason behind the sudden meeting, and that the scowl on his face was merely a residual of some other trouble that had absolutely nothing to do with you.

Your prayers had fallen on deaf ears however, as the summoning proved to be a twenty minutes angry diatribe about how one of your most recent client had expressed their wish to withdraw from their deal and de facto, the company. Though it hadn’t been your fault per se, your boss didn’t have any reservations about reminding you of your supposed responsibility to keep your clients sated and on the company’s leash. He’d given you three days to fix it after that. Three days to persuade the client not to pull out of the deal, or you risked some serious downgrading if not redundancy.  

You’d called Harry for support the minute you got home and spent the whole evening brainstorming the craziest ideas to him. He’d listened patiently, holding your hand on the table as you both indulged in the Thai take-out he’d picked up on his way over. That first night, you’d barely slept as you laid in his strong arms, back to his chest. Your reeling mind had still been trying to conjure up any sort of plan that would help you out of this chaos; but for each switch of the glowing red digits on your alarm clock, your hopes had dwindled some.

You hadn’t known then, but Harry couldn’t find rest either as he spooned you against him. You two hadn’t been dating long, several months at best, but already your distress was unbearable to him and every bone in his body ached to do something to help you. This feeling of powerlessness was crawling out of his skin and swimming around like a shark amidst his prevalent thoughts of support, admiration and love. Because, while he’d shown you the first and conveyed the second countless times in the past, the third had yet to tumble out of his lips, despite the confession burning their flesh a bit stronger every day.

What really had had his mind reeling though, was knowing that maybe, just maybe, he had the power to make this situation go away; and for each switch of the glowing red digits on your alarm clock, his hopes grew some.

Your earlier utterance of the client’s name had been ringing through his mind in faint recognition, an itch starting to fester at his fingertips. Dialing a phone number was all it could take. A couple choice words and if he played his cards right, the deal would be back on the table. He’d known interfering was arguably a bad idea, and truthfully he’d always made a point of honor not to use his connections to serve ulterior motives (his or anyone else’s), but how was he supposed to do nothing when the person that caused you trouble was in fact a friend of a friend that might reevaluate their stance if he pitched in with a bit of charm and compelling words? How was he supposed to stay idle, watch you dissolve in an anxious mess, if he wasn’t as powerless as he thought?

So he didn’t. 

He’d originally planned on keeping you in the loop, but you’d been gone by the time his forest green eyes had fluttered back to consciousness the next morning. After a quick shower, a large mug of the coffee you’d left for him before running back to work, and locking your apartment with the spare key you’d given him a couple weeks back, he’d pulled out his phone. Two minutes was all it took for his friend to pass him your client’s number and without hesitation, he’d launched the call and brought his phone to his ear.

It took a bit longer than a couple of minutes for that conversation to take effect, but eventually his words hit their target. After all, his lovely nature could pierce through the most robust walls and stubborn minds. He didn’t even have to put on the charm that much, instead drawing earnest sentiments about your impeccable skills and rambling about how there was no better person to keep their account safe in the business. He’d gnawed at his lips the whole time, desperate to pull through but still scared to fail you somehow. You’d already been let down by the client and your boss, you certainly didn’t need your boyfriend added to the list.

The call had ended with their promise to reassess and consider your undeniable abilities in the equation, yet the next day you were once again convoked to your boss’ office with a snarly bark of your name. Puzzlement washed over you as you speed-walked after him. Why was he still so resentful with you when you’d gotten the client to reenter the contract?

Another twenty minutes of intense scolding provided you with that answer. With a disdainful gaze puncturing your poise, your boss told you that while your job was no longer on the line, you’d been given a firm warning about using your boyfriend as negotiator for the company’s dealings.

How he knew when you yourself weren’t aware of the fact, you didn’t know. In retrospect, your talk with the client had been suspiciously easy for someone who’d made their will to ditch the company crystal clear. You’d merely laid out your arguments, expecting resistance and some pushing, but were only met with a squinted look and cautious acceptance. Now you know your case had already been pleaded once, by the man who was taking more and more space for himself inside the chambers of your heart.

You didn’t quite know how to feel about it; didn’t know if you should be mad or grateful. You were specifically stunned because you knew it was out of character for Harry. Your boyfriend was the most generous being you’d ever met, but humility was even more so a prevailing layer of his beautiful nature. You certainly didn’t expect it, didn’t wish for it to happen again because you were always adamant not to ever use anyone for their assets. Yet there was a tingling, a mixture of discomfort and gratefulness, sloshing in the pit of your stomach. 

This whole thing was a mind-fuckery of emotions you were too tired to process.

What you did feel though, was the pure frustration at your boss’ hypocrisy. You both knew he didn’t really care how you’d gotten the deal back, just that you did, but his intolerable disposition wouldn’t allow him to applaud your efforts and move on.

Wanting to put this all mess behind you, you bit back the retorts that you craved to force down his throat, simply nodded through his chastising charade, and leaped to your feet as soon as the dismissing words left his stupid trap.

Now that you’re making your way inside your home, your nose is hit by a waft of delicious aromas traveling from the kitchen. Your mind is still fuzzy with every trouble and startling revelation that transpired in the past three days, but as your eyes settle on your apron-clad boyfriend, you take a moment to appreciate the sight of his soft figure stirring the content of what must be a pan on the gas. His back is facing you, but you can hear the gentle humming under his breath, as he hasn’t registered your arrival yet.

After another minute of whistling, he finally twists around and his eyes almost pop out of their socket when they find your timid stance a couple feet away. "Jesus, pet, didn’t know you were home yet," he chuckles softly before taking in your somewhat moony features. Your expression is hard to pinpoint, your delicate traits blank of any emotions yet your eyes have the same sparkle that greets him every morning and every night when he pulls you for a deep kiss in his warm embrace. "Everythin’ okay, love?"

The query snaps you out of your semblance of trance, your head looking down to the floor to gather your wits before you level your gaze back to his. "Yeah it is. Umm, my boss called me in again today," your bite your lip, not knowing how to navigate the conversation. In all honesty, you just want to be done with the whole thing, would rather spend an evening full of cuddles and potentially mind-blowing sex, but you know this ought to be acknowledged.

"Oh," his brows pull together with the same confusion you’d experienced when your boss ushered you to his office. "Did he thank you for the big save?"

"Not exactly," you clear your throat bracing yourself and Harry’s face tenses at the realization about where this is going. "My job is safe and I’m still working on the account," hie loosens up in relief, but your next words have him stiffen right back up in alarm. "But I got a warning for a certain someone’s involvement in the company’s operations. Apparently, my boyfriend called the client on my behalf and forgot to clue me in…"

Your voice is calm and doesn’t carry any reproachful tone, but Harry’s pulse is suddenly speeding with dread regardless. The fact that he could have lost you your jobs is the only thing registering in his frenzied mind, as he sets the dish towel from his shoulder down on the counter and steps closer to you. His eyes are bouncing off yours in a frantic back and forth, as he gulps his remorse down. Before you can appease him with reassuring words, and show your lack of anger, he launches in an apologetic rant, enclosing both your hands between his palms.

"M’so sorry, love. I didn’t mean to put you in a bad position. Fuck I just- I kept thinkin’ I could help since your client was a friend of a friend. And, the more I thought about it, the more I kept thinking 'I can’t do nothin’. Cause I hate seein’ you in pain an’ I really want to be here fo’ you and I know this was probably the wrong way to go about it, but damn y/n, I couldn’t stand doin’ nothing, m’sorry-"

"I love you."

The words come fast but distinct, airy but firm, not an ounce of doubt laced through their utterance. An eerie silence permeate the small space surrounding them, as Harry tries to find his own words back. It took three of them to steal all of his, but in his defense they were the ones he’d been dying to hear and to deliver himself. His eyes are wide, blinking in total surprise. He’d expected irritation, disappointment perhaps, maybe even anger, but definitely not the sweetest words he’s been keeping at the forefront of his mind. "I- you do?"

You still have that wondrous look on your face, but this time a bright smile enlivens your features, "I really do." You take your hands out of his grip to hold onto his wrists and pull him closer to you. You have to look up since he towers over you but you’ve always liked that about your relationship; the way he always seems to dwarf you in his embraces, whether because of his height or his bear-paw hands. "I mean, don’t that again," you let out a soft laugh, "but I know why you did it, and I love you for it." 

Harry smiles rivals your own now, as your hands smooth up his arms to clasp at the nape of his neck, "plus, my boss is a jerk anyway so, who cares?" You pull him in a loving kiss then and his arms wrap themselves around your shoulders in a tight lock. His lips are as soft as ever between your own, and you detect the faintest taste of pepper and other exotic herbs lingering on their edge, from his cooking endeavors. He’s always been one to have a taste or two while he’s working, whether that be in the kitchen or other rooms…and regardless, you always like it when you get your share from his supple lips.

He feels slightly distracted against your mouth though, his technique not as ravishing as it usually is. and before you can wonder why, he’s pulling an inch away from your swollen lips, hurriedly whispering your tender confession back to you as though the words couldn’t be out of his mouth and into your heart fast enough, "I love you too, pet. So much." His hands are cajoling your face, thumbs drawing soothing circles across your cheeks, and his beaming smile is melting your heart in a goo of pleasure after all the strain it suffered in the past couple of days.

"Fuck, c’mere, don’t ever wanna stop kissing you," Harry mutters against your lips before diving in for a real mind-bending, soul-shaking, tantalizing kiss this time. Just like that, all your worries and sorrow evaporate into thin air, only to be replaced by an intoxicating pink loving brume. You two definitely spend the most perfect evening with lots of cuddles and endless mind-blowing lovemaking. Screw everything else.

➪ Masterlist

[hellomynameisbisexual]

Here's a shortlist of those who realized that I — a cis woman who'd identified as heterosexual for decades of life — was in fact actually bi, long before I realized it myself recently: my sister, all my friends, my boyfriend, and the TikTok algorithm.

On TikTok, the relationship between user and algorithm is uniquely (even sometimes uncannily) intimate. An app which seemingly contains as many multitudes of life experiences and niche communities as there are people in the world, we all start in the lowest common denominator of TikTok. Straight TikTok (as it's popularly dubbed) initially bombards your For You Page with the silly pet videos and viral teen dances that folks who don't use TikTok like to condescendingly reduce it to.

Quickly, though, TikTok begins reading your soul like some sort of divine digital oracle, prying open layers of your being never before known to your own conscious mind. The more you use it, the more tailored its content becomes to your deepest specificities, to the point where you get stuff that's so relatable that it can feel like a personal attack (in the best way) or (more dangerously) even a harmful trigger from lifelong traumas.

For example: I don't know what dark magic (read: privacy violations) immediately clued TikTok into the fact that I was half-Brazilian, but within days of first using it, Straight TikTok gave way to at first Portuguese-speaking then broader Latin TikTok. Feeling oddly seen (being white-passing and mostly American-raised, my Brazilian identity isn't often validated), I was liberal with the likes, knowing that engagement was the surefire way to go deeper down this identity-affirming corner of the social app.

TikTok made lots of assumptions from there, throwing me right down the boundless, beautiful, and oddest multiplicities of Alt TikTok, a counter to Straight TikTok's milquetoast mainstreamness.

Home to a wide spectrum of marginalized groups, I was giving out likes on my FYP like Oprah, smashing that heart button on every type of video: from TikTokers with disabilities, Black and Indigenous creators, political activists, body-stigma-busting fat women, and every glittering shade of the LGBTQ cornucopia. The faves were genuine, but also a way to support and help offset what I knew about the discriminatory biases in TikTok's algorithm.

My diverse range of likes started to get more specific by the minute, though. I wasn't just on general Black TikTok anymore, but Alt Cottagecore Middle-Class Black Girl TikTok (an actual label one creator gave her page's vibes). Then it was Queer Latina Roller Skating Girl TikTok, Women With Non-Hyperactive ADHD TikTok, and then a double whammy of Women Loving Women (WLW) TikTok alternating between beautiful lesbian couples and baby bisexuals.

Looking back at my history of likes, the transition from queer “ally” to “salivating simp” is almost imperceptible.

There was no one precise "aha" moment. I started getting "put a finger down" challenges that wouldn't reveal what you were putting a finger down for until the end. Then, 9-fingers deep (winkwink), I'd be congratulated for being 100% bisexual. Somewhere along the path of getting served multiple WLW Disney cosplays in a single day and even dom lesbian KinkTok roleplay — or whatever the fuck Bisexual Pirate TikTok is — deductive reasoning kind of spoke for itself.

But I will never forget the one video that was such a heat-seeking missile of a targeted attack that I was moved to finally text it to my group chat of WLW friends with a, "Wait, am I bi?" To which the overwhelming consensus was, "Magic 8 Ball says, 'Highly Likely.'"

Serendipitously posted during Pride Month, the video shows a girl shaking her head at the caption above her head, calling out confused and/or closeted queers who say shit like, "I think everyone is a LITTLE bisexual," to the tune of "Closer" by The Chainsmokers. When the lyrics land on the word "you," she points straight at the screen — at me — her finger and inquisitive look piercing my hopelessly bisexual soul like Cupid's goddamn arrow.

Oh no, the voice inside my head said, I have just been mercilessly perceived.

As someone who had, in fact, done feminist studies at a tiny liberal arts college with a gender gap of about 70 percent women, I'd of course dabbled. I've always been quick to bring up the Kinsey scale, to champion a true spectrum of sexuality, and to even declare (on multiple occasions) that I was, "straight, but would totally fuck that girl!"

Oh no, the voice inside my head returned, I've literally just been using extra words to say I was bi.

After consulting the expertise of my WLW friend group (whose mere existence, in retrospect, also should've clued me in on the flashing neon pink, purple, and blue flag of my raging bisexuality), I ran to my boyfriend to inform him of the "news."

"Yeah, baby, I know. We all know," he said kindly.

"How?!" I demanded.

Well for one, he pointed out, every time we came across a video of a hot girl while scrolling TikTok together, I'd without fail watch the whole way through, often more than once, regardless of content. (Apparently, straight girls do not tend to do this?) For another, I always breathlessly pointed out when we'd pass by a woman I found beautiful, often finding a way to send a compliment her way. ("I'm just a flirt!" I used to rationalize with a hand wave, "Obvs, I'm not actually sexually attracted to them!") Then, I guess, there were the TED Talk-like rants I'd subject him to about the thinly veiled queer relationship in Adventure Time between Princess Bubblegum and Marcelyne the Vampire Queen — which the cowards at Cartoon Network forced creators to keep as subtext!

And, well, when you lay it all out like that...

But my TikTok-fueled bisexual awakening might actually speak less to the omnipotence of the app's algorithm, and more to how heteronormativity is truly one helluva drug.

Sure, TikTok bombarded me with the thirst traps of my exact type of domineering masc lady queers, who reduced me to a puddle of drool I could no longer deny. But I also recalled a pivotal moment in college when I briefly questioned my heterosexuality, only to have a lesbian friend roll her eyes and chastise me for being one of those straight girls who leads Actual Queer Women on. I figured she must know better. So I never pursued any of my lady crushes in college, which meant I never experimented much sexually, which made me conclude that I couldn't call myself bisexual if I'd never had actual sex with a woman. I also didn't really enjoy lesbian porn much, though the fact that I'd often find myself fixating on the woman during heterosexual porn should've clued me into that probably coming more from how mainstream lesbian porn is designed for straight men.

The ubiquity of heterormativity, even when unwittingly perpetrated by members of the queer community, is such an effective self-sustaining cycle. Aside from being met with queer-gating (something I've since learned bi folks often experience), I had a hard time identifying my attraction to women as genuine attraction, simply because it felt different to how I was attracted to men.

Heteronormativity is truly one helluva drug.

So much of women's sexuality — of my sexuality — can feel defined by that carnivorous kind of validation you get from men. I met no societal resistance in fully embodying and exploring my desire for men, either (which, to be clear, was and is insatiable slut levels of wanting that peen.) But in retrospect, I wonder how many men I slept with not because I was truly attracted to them, but because I got off on how much they wanted me.

My attraction to women comes with a different texture of eroticism. With women (and bare with a baby bi, here), the attraction feels more shared, more mutual, more tender rather than possessive. It's no less raw or hot or all-consuming, don't get me wrong. But for me at least, it comes more from a place of equality rather than just power play. I love the way women seem to see right through me, to know me, without us really needing to say a word.

I am still, as it turns out, a sexual submissive through-and-through, regardless of what gender my would-be partner is. But, ignorantly and unknowingly, I'd been limiting my concept of who could embody dominant sexual personas to cis men. But when TikTok sent me down that glorious rabbit hole of masc women (who know exactly what they're doing, btw), I realized my attraction was not to men, but a certain type of masculinity. It didn't matter which body or genitalia that presentation came with.

There is something about TikTok that feels particularly suited to these journeys of sexual self-discovery and, in the case of women loving women, I don't think it's just the prescient algorithm. The short-form video format lends itself to lightning bolt-like jolts of soul-bearing nakedness, with the POV camera angles bucking conventions of the male gaze, which entrenches the language of film and TV in heterosexual male desire.

In fairness to me, I'm far from the only one who missed their inner gay for a long time — only to have her pop out like a queer jack-in-the-box throughout a near year-long quarantine that led many of us to join TikTok. There was the baby bi mom, and scores of others who no longer had to publicly perform their heterosexuality during lockdown — only to realize that, hey, maybe I'm not heterosexual at all?

Flooded with video after video affirming my suspicions, reflecting my exact experiences as they happened to others, the change in my sexual identity was so normalized on TikTok that I didn't even feel like I needed to formally "come out." I thought this safe home I'd found to foster my baby bisexuality online would extend into the real world.

But I was in for a rude awakening.

Testing out my bisexuality on other platforms, casually referring to it on Twitter, posting pictures of myself decked out in a rainbow skate outfit (which I bought before realizing I was queer), I received nothing but unquestioning support and validation. Eventually, I realized I should probably let some members of my family know before they learned through one of these posts, though.

Daunted by the idea of trying to tell my Latina Catholic mother and Swiss Army veteran father (who's had a crass running joke about me being a "lesbian" ever since I first declared myself a feminist at age 12), I chose the sibling closest to me. Seeing as how gender studies was one of her majors in college too, I thought it was a shoo-in. I sent an off-handed, joke-y but serious, "btw I'm bi now!" text, believing that's all that would be needed to receive the same nonchalant acceptance I found online.

It was not.

I didn't receive a response for two days. Hurt and panicked by what was potentially my first mild experience of homophobia, I called them out. They responded by insisting we need to have a phone call for such "serious" conversations. As I calmly tried to express my hurt on said call, I was told my text had been enough to make this sibling worry about my mental wellbeing. They said I should be more understanding of why it'd be hard for them to (and I'm paraphrasing) "think you were one way for twenty-eight years" before having to contend with me deciding I was now "something else."

But I wasn't "something else," I tried to explain, voice shaking. I hadn't knowingly been deceiving or hiding this part of me. I'd simply discovered a more appropriate label. But it was like we were speaking different languages. Other family members were more accepting, thankfully. There are many ways I'm exceptionally lucky, my IRL environment as supportive as Baby Bi TikTok. Namely, I'm in a loving relationship with a man who never once mistook any of it as a threat, instead giving me all the space in the world to understand this new facet of my sexuality.

I don't have it all figured out yet. But at least when someone asks if I listen to Girl in Red on social media, I know to answer with a resounding, "Yes," even though I've never listened to a single one of her songs. And for now, that's enough.

[frustrated-writer-skyeknight]

The Little Vampire ➡️ The Vampire Brothers Plotbunnies

RuDony    

GregAdam

Instead of Gregory getting hit by Rookery’s light, it’s Rudolph.

Gregory is the one who follows him.

Gregory is “19” in a sense

Rudolph is “15” in the same sense.

Adam and Tony are 15 years old.

So aged Up. I don’t know Gregory’s age from 2017 movie so he could be aged up, aged down or whatever here for all I know.

Tony’s parents have been dead for years.

Adam’s family has taken him in, Tony being the first to become Adam’s friend even before Adam got popular due to his “Big foot” gene.

Tony’s into Urban legends and Cryptids so he’s usual hobby is to go hunting for where they’re rumored to hide.

Adam usually comes along to humor him. At least now with his abilities he can make it easier to escape if needed.

Since Gregory was the one not incoherent from injuries sustained, he had the good sense not to return to the catacombs and lead Rookery to where the rest of the clan were.

At the chase though, they ended up crashing into a camp site where Adam and Tony were.

Tony had been psyched to meet actual vampires.

Adam less than psyched, holding the scruff of Tony’s hoodie to prevent him from getting near the two undeads.

Rudolph and Gregory, of course, are wary of the two mortals.

The wariness was is lessened to an extent when Tony’s quick thinking managed to help lead the monster hunters astray.

Adam and Tony were in Germany together for vacation. There’s been a mixed up so the Harrison parental’s flight is in a week after the boys.

The Airline offered to pay the excess fees I the lodgings since it was fully booked in flights to be adjusted for them to go together.

(I do not know how airlines work so just pretend these things happen lol)

Once they were in the clear, they had to find a place for Rudolph and Gregory to hide. Luckily, Tony found an abandoned crypt the other day while Adam was back at the bed and breakfast talking to his parents.

Adam’s still not yet sure why he’s actually going along with this. If it were up to him, he would’ve let those hunters know about the vampires. But he didn’t want Tony getting mad at him.

Gregory thought it was a good chance to feed on the mortals while they slept after setting a new camp nearby, and be actual vampires for once. (Tony didn’t want to go back in case the vampires disappeared forever before he really got to ask them things).

Rudolph reprimanded him, saying that they’d be captured by now if not for them.

Tony helps the two vampires find something to eat. That’s why even when they found out they’ve been locked in, Gregory and Rudolph couldn’t break out of the crypt, because their vampire super strength was weakened.

Which was good, in retrospect, when Gregory realized it wouldn’t do to cause a scene especially when they’re hiding from vampire hunters.

Adam didn’t know how he felt about having Tony help them, especially when it meant feeding an animals. Almost like a sacrifice and animal abuse.

Then again, it wasn’t so much different from when humans eat hamburgers, steak and ribs.

Until much later, and the two cows they fed on came back alive as sort of vampires too. So in a way, sort of some differences in that front.

While feeding on cows, Gregory and Adam ended up talking. It started with Gregory finally, and officially, giving his thanks for their help in hiding them especially when Rudolph was injured.

Gregory: He’s been my brother ever since, even before we’ve been turned. It gave me such the fright when he got caught by those beams.

Adam: You were humans?

Gregory: Yes. Orphans, victims of a war. Our clan leader found us left for dead, and decided to turn us. We’ve been with the clan ever since.

Adam: Wow that... That’s not what I’ve expected.

Gregory: If your only reference is this Count Dracula Tony goes on about, I’m not surprise. You’ve been friends with him long, I take it?

Adam: Yes. He’s been my only friend until much recently. After I’ve gotten some others when they find that my other abilities cool, but Tony’s the only one who’s been there even before. You could say I kinda see him as a brother too.

Gregory: He is a nice mortal... You’re a nice one too... For a mortal.

Adam: Thanks... I think.

Gregory: Much obliged.

Adam: ...

Gregory: ...

Adam: Hey, I have an idea. If you’re up for it. (refer to this Headcanon)

Meanwhile, Tony and Rudolph are exchanging questions with each other. During this conversation, Rudolph tells Tony that if he ever needed help, he could just whistle and Rudolph would come help, so long it wasn’t day because then the sun would get him.

Tony didn’t have a heart to remind him that he and Adam were only around temporarily.

Once night falls once more, Rudolph takes Tony flying.

Tony: Next question, can you turn into a bat?

Rudolph: Well, yes and no. Vampires can, but not my brother and I; we weren’t born vampires, you see. Only those who are born vampires can turn into bats, so I can’t.

Tony: Vampires can be born?

Rudolph: Hey, it’s my turn to ask something. Why the interest in the undead?

Tony: I just am, I guess. I mean, most people just... Like things, there isn’t usually a story behind it. Though, there is this one thing my mom telling me my first words were “vam-vam” considering the amount of movies on vampires those who babysitted me watched,

Rudolph: How disturbing. Humans sit on babies? 

Tony: Hey, now it’s my turn with the question. Which was the one I asked earlier.

Rudolph: Yes. And humans sit on babies?

Tony: We do not, it’s an expression for when older people watch and take care of babies. And I want more elaboration on that yes, dude.

Rudolph: Vampire babies are born like humans are, much faster in span though. What takes human years to achieve in an infant’s development, it takes vampire babies months. And once matured, they continue growing but can slowly and they can maintain an age form for however long they want when they’ve finished vampire puberty.

Tony: I see. That’s kinda a shame.

Rudolph: Why?

Tony: I always thought being able to fly was the coolest thing about being a vampire.

Rudolph: Who said I couldn’t fly? *Starts to float*

Tony: WOW! That is so...

Rudolph: Cool?

Tony: Yes!

Rudolph: Want to fly then?

Gregory and Rudolph lost track of time spending it with the humans keeping them in hiding. In fact, they totally forgot of returning to the clan.

It took Anna searching them out. She managed to escape when the monster hunters did happen to find the location of their hide out.

Anna flirts with Tony. For some reasons, this annoyed Rudolph more than it grossed him out.

They made a plan to free the Clan, with them splitting to groups; Rudolph, Tony, and Anna would free the clan while Adam and Gregory distract the monster hunters.

In the process of escaping after liberating the clan, Anna gets hit by the same beam that struct Rudolph before. Tony gets captured in his attempt to give Rudolph an opening to take his sister and escape.

That’s all I got for now. You can drop asks if you like.

[yoondoze]

make a wish | jjk

jeongguk doesn’t know it, but his wish came true.

pairing: jeon jeongguk x reader

word count: 3.5k

genre: angst, best friend!au

warnings: mentions of sex, language

a/n: uhh been in a jeongguk mood recently, so i’m riding it out through writing angsty drabbles :’) this is lowkey unedited so shh

You’re sick of sharing birthdays with Jeon Jeongguk. 

Yeah, your perfectly timed entrance into this world on the same date was the basis of your friendship, but every year? It made sense when you were kids and had to invite the entire class to your parties since everyone had the same friends. But now you’re sixteen, and things are different. 

While the two of you have always been close friends, what with growing up around the block together and spending the dog days of summer crossing between the sandbox and the pool with one another, you also have put together your own separate friend groups at school. And now that all of them are here together, it’s an awkward intermingling of teenagers that don’t have much in common, other than that they all suddenly forget who they’re here for when they see an attractive person their same age. 

The only good thing about it is that Jeongguk invited his cute guy friends. Not here for you, per se, but the attention is all the same. Especially when it’s coming from Park Jimin. The way he wished you a happy birthday earlier was the most charming thing you’ve ever seen to date.

Jeongguk, bowl cut and all, is having the time of his life. The fact that its his 16th birthday doesn’t matter as much as the fact that it’s his birthday. He doesn’t feel much different like he thought he might. Maybe it is because every cool YA protagonist he ever idolized was saving the world at 16. By now, he’s decided that all the romanticized versions of teenage lives he’s been sold on up to this very moment is a scam. Nonetheless, he’s a simple boy. He’s just enjoying the time bowling with his friends.

 ...Until the moment he lays eyes on you.

The alley is dark, and though it obscures your features, he knows you well enough to see you’re upset. Your friends are barely hanging out with you, seeming to have left you behind for his friends, who coincidentally left him behind for yours. He also knows you compromised for this party. You wanted painting, envisaging a lovely evening with your companions, seated behind easels and letting your creativity flow onto a canvas. You were eight hours older and therefore the one in charge of making the decisions - it was a no-brainer, in your eyes.

But Jeongguk, never one to give in, insisted on bowling. Your parents were forcing a shared party again this year, and with how you eventually accepted that Jeongguk would throw a fit if he had to paint on his birthday, you reluctantly agreed under the obligatory condition that he invited his friend Jimin.

Who he was starting to hate, by the way. You gave more attention to the kid you were crushing on from history instead of the best friend you’d grown up with your entire life. Every time he saw you stare longingly at some stupid boy that was as mature as a cucumber, he wanted to scream that the real pickle was standing right in front of you!

Give him a break. It’s the only analogy his sixteen year old mind can think of. 

The caring boy he is, he walks over to where you sit solemnly by yourself. All you’ve been doing for the past five minutes is tapping your feet to the overplayed pop music flooding the joint and continuously picking at your fingers - an unquestionably fantastic time. He shoves out his hand for you to take, which you willingly do in hopes for a cure for your boredom, and he drags you over to his lane. The way you roll your eyes at his enthusiasm only makes him like you more. That’s because it’s always accompanied by a fond smile, and he loves to see your dimples.

He’d never tell you, though. He’d definitely never tell his mom, because he knows she’d get too eager and tell your mom, and then she’d tell you. His mom has been rooting for the two of you since day one. She always was saying things like, “I’m not letting you date anyone unless it’s Y/N,” or, “I can’t wait until you and Y/N go to prom!” 

At one point he wondered if he actually liked you or if it was the result of his mom’s wishes manifesting into real life after such diligence. He has since then accepted his feelings as his own, but won’t deny how the ideas sometimes made his cheeks flush.

In the time since the party has started, your “friends” have disappeared to the bathroom twice. His friends are over getting snacks without him, but it doesn’t upset him anymore. He didn’t really want their company anyway. It’s just the two of you, how it’s always been, and how he wanted it from the start.

“Watch, watch, okay?” He says, excitement dripping off every syllable. He figures he can maybe lift your mood if his is high enough to share some with you.

“Okay, I’m watching!” you exclaim. Jeongguk swells as he watches your cheeks bounce.

He seats you behind the machine and hurries to pick up a fourteen-pound ball swirled with blue and purple.

Now that he actually has to do it, Jeongguk’s heart races just a little bit. He just doesn’t want to embarrass himself, that’s all. His skills have improved from practice and the bowling team at school and it would suck if he screwed up. Especially considering that the reason he was so certain about a bowling party was so he’d have the chance to show off to you. But then he thinks it might make you laugh if he embarrasses himself, so his reassurance is that it’ll be a win either way.

He takes a deep breath. He draws back skillfully and with four purposeful steps, his right foot slips behind him and his arm swings fluidly toward his target. The ball hits the waxed floor rolling. The tension in his body is stiff as it heads right toward the pins, and boom! All ten fall in a domino effect, the rough clattering echoing in the alley. A perfect strike. 

His fists pump into the air as his chest fills with pride. He spins on his heels, eyes sparkling as he hopes to find a smile on your face when he gets there -

But you’re not even paying attention. His ecstatic expression falls as quickly as his spirit does. Your head is turned from him, and when he follows your gaze, it lands on none other than fucking Park Jimin. There’s a subtle smile resting on your lips as you focus on his mindless laughter as opposed to Jeongguk’s imposing strike. Jimin is standing at the controls of a claw machine, working the joystick as his friends direct him to grab some stupid inflatable basketball the size of his palm. If it were Jeongguk, he’d go for the plush bear in the machine over and get it for you in one try.

“C’mon guys!” Your mom yells, breaking you from your infatuated stare. “Cake!”

The boys give up on their escapade and the girls magically apparate back from their fifteen minute long bathroom break. Thrilled jeers and whoops sound from everyone now filtering into the party room, somehow more excited about it than the birthday boy and girl themselves.

As you get up from your seat, you meet Jeongguk’s eyes with a quick raise of your brows, oblivious to the fact you just obliterated his heart without saying a single word. Then he’s trailing behind you, brushing his hair from his face with a sigh while everyone gathers around the table and lets you take your place at the head.

Amidst the singing and the cheers from your peers, Jeongguk can’t stop himself from glancing over to you. Right away, he knows the smiles you’re tossing out to your friends are forced. He regrets having this party in the first place. He hates seeing you disappointed and upset. He’ll choose painting any day if it means you won’t be like this.

You, on the other hand, are trying to get a peek of Jimin at every second possible. You can make out his voice among the others while singing. It’s just happy birthday, but his voice is actually really pretty, so you jot it down to reference in your next day dream.

“Make a wish!” 

He thinks hard, imagining everything he could want at this point in his life. The spot for team captain, to ace his next Chemistry test, for a new bike. But wishing for something like that seems silly when he already knows what he really wants. 

A big breath of air - “special for your 16th!” - and the two of you are blowing out the candles. One is all it takes for each of the waving flames to flicker out.

Jeongguk wishes that you’ll like him back.

You wish that Jimin will like you back.

☆☆☆ 

In retrospect, maybe it wasn’t such a great idea to shift your relationship with Jeongguk into something more than platonic friends. At this point, he’d call it friends with benefits. You’d call it getting your heart ripped out every time he dialed your number. Even worse, it was undeniably voluntary.

It was an awkward start. Both of you got drunk one night in his apartment, sitting on the cold tile of the kitchen floor, started asking heavy, slurred questions, and maybe admitted, “yeah, I’d fuck you,” on a whim. And then maybe you did just that.

It was supposed to be a one-time event. A weird moment in your timeline of friendship that you’d agree on forgetting. Something that you both would pretend never happened so things wouldn’t change.

However, Jeongguk’s life had been a roller coaster recently. He moved to the city with the intention of freedom only for things to get more complicated. His career was struggling, his girlfriend broke up with him, his friends barely spoke to him anymore. 

So it was just you and him again, like it had always been. You were the only one who still visited, who still called, who still cared. That’s what friends are for. Help when times are rough and be there when needed. That’s your part of the deal. 

Sex isn’t always included in said deal, but it is this time around. 

It’s not much different. You come over for a regular movie night like you used to, but sometimes it ends up in his bedroom, that’s all. To him, anyway. You’re not sure how he hasn’t caught on yet. He’s so preoccupied that he probably chalks your racing pulse up to being horny, or interprets the emotion in your kisses as neediness. The way you hold onto him or say his name as pleasure.

It’s that endless love you have for him taking its many forms. It’s dropping off extra meals to stick in the fridge and checking in to make sure he isn’t beating himself up to the point where he can’t get out of bed. It’s also letting him fuck you when he needs to feel something. 

He’s just in a rut. He just needs some time to get his life together and figure shit out. And from there it’ll be peaches and cream. When his life is on the upturn, he’ll realize you’re the one who’s always been there and who always will be, and then he’ll fall in love with you too. You’re not scared, you’re just helping your best friend through a tough time. But then he’s panting, rolling off you to take a shower right after.

It stings every time. Even when you think it will be different.

At the end of the day, if it makes him feel better, you’ll endure it a thousand times over. On a bright side that’s not all that bright, for the moments you spend intertwined, you can at least pretend he’s yours. You can imagine it’s just another hot night shared in your apartment as you live out your dreamy domestic couple’s life. It sometimes seems that way with how much you take care of him, but he’d never see it as anything more than platonic.

Jeongguk knows you love him, of course, but he doesn’t know the extent it reaches. He doesn't know that your heart shatters every time he gives you a kiss on the cheek and says he loves you. He doesn’t know that when you say it back, you don’t mean just as friends. He doesn’t know you’d drop everything and run if he asked you to. You didn’t even know it for a while. Because falling in love with Jeongguk is slow and comes day by day without realizing, until suddenly you’re stuck neck deep without an inkling in your mind of trying to escape. It’s a gentle, spellbinding bloom you wouldn’t trade for the world.

From this view on his bed, you can see a glimpse of his figure behind the foggy glass of his upright shower. You tug your t-shirt back on for some modesty as if it still matters, swallowing down the tightening in your throat. If he feels your eyes lingering on him, he doesn’t show it. For whatever reason, watching him wash his face in small circles makes your stomach sink inexplicably.

Jeongguk at the fresh age of twenty-one is a lot different than Jeongguk at sixteen. Gone is the bowl cut, in comes long wavy hair that hangs in front of his face, always seeming to fall perfectly to frame his features. His shoulders broadened along with his horizons. His personality hasn’t changed, but it’s easy to think it has with the dark cloud that seems to follow him wherever he walks nowadays. You never realized how cute his dimples were until they started showing less and less.

You toy with the idea of maybe just confessing tonight. Get it off your chest once and for all. It would save you a lot of heartbreak, but you can already picture yourself sputtering it out for tense silence to fill the air, and for you to walk out and never come back. You can’t decide if it’s really worth risking when he’s the only thing you’ve got. There are a myriad of directions your life could take, but you wouldn’t want a single one without him in it, even if it crushes you.

A deep sigh escapes you. It’s your birthday today - shouldn’t you be enjoying it instead of being so morally torn?

How is it that you had him so close for so many years yet still missed your chance?

The memory of wishing for Jimin’s returned affection as a teenager resurfaces and makes you wince. While he did end up liking you back, it was a mess of a relationship that left you moping back to Jeongguk after just a few months. It should have been obvious back then that it was him all along.

He was always right in front of you, doting on you, leaving his everlasting mark on your life without even meaning to. Charming and humble and telling jokes to make you laugh rather than to make you think he was funny, being kind out of the purity of his character rather than to be rewarded. Apologizing to ants when he had to kill them and then sulking the rest of the night, learning to braid your hair while watching movies, listening to your every rant and ramble with the utmost attention as if it was the only thing that mattered to him.

Then it hits you that it’s not just about you and never was. It’s Jeongguk’s birthday today, too. You wished it to each other when you walked through the door, but that’s not a celebration, and neither is sex. You’re reminded that your job is to be a friend regardless of how you feel because you know he’d do the same, and good friends wouldn’t spend your special day wallowing in their own self-pity.

With renewed vigor, you’re pushing yourself off the bed and padding out to his sorry excuse for a kitchen. There’s barely enough space to move around comfortably and you can’t imagine how he does it on a daily basis. The view beyond the counter-top and out the balcony connected to the living room is beautiful, though. It’s miles upon miles of shining lights and skyscrapers that embrace the velvet dusk of the sky. That’s broke city living, you suppose. You flick on the light, dim but just enough to see. 

His cabinets are an absolute mess. There’s no organization to it at all, no method to the madness. It’s blatant even from the unsteady view on your tippy toes. You catch sight of some peanut butter, bags of chips, packets of ramen, a box of cinnamon frosted pop tarts…

You almost lose your balance as you shift everything around, but the feeling of joy when you see that signature box is indescribable. It’s exactly what you need. 

The blue and white packaging of the Hostess CupCakes has been opened, and considering it was sitting at the back of the top shelf, probably forgotten about. However, you’re sure it’ll be enough for him.

You find the lighter fairly easily, pulling open all the drawers out and rummaging through them. As expected, there’s no organization either. Measuring cups and pens in one, scissors and a single oven mitt in another. It’s the third and final drawer you tug open to find something to possibly substitute what you’re looking for.

Not that you expected him to have birthday candles lying around, but you didn’t think you’d be using an old red crayon in ones place. It’ll make do. It has to, considering that the noise of Jeongguk shutting off the shower is already reverberating off the walls. It won’t be much of a surprise if he walks out here and asks what you’re doing before you can even finish.

With delicate fingers, you press the end of the crayon into the cake just enough for it to stay upright. The lighter takes a couple tries, as does getting the wax to melt down enough to reach the paper, but eventually a small glowing flame takes shape. Flickering orange and everything you need it to be. You can’t put your finger on why your eyes start to tear up when you look at it, but then Jeongguk is calling your name.

“One sec! Just sit down,” you say loudly, ready to shout at him to stay back if you hear a creaky foot step coming your way.

“...Why?”

“Just do it!”

“Alright, alright.” He surrenders, the weariness coating his tongue one that you hope you can wash away within the next few seconds. “I am sitting.”

Hands as stable as an anchor, you slide the cupcake into your palms and walk carefully so as to not put out the dwarfed blaze. You turn your back to push open the door with and glide into the room with an atypical but much appreciated vivacity.

His eyes widen and an open mouthed smile tweaks at his lips as he perches at the edge of the bed. The flame is already halfway down the paper, but he seems impressed with your extempore candle. It’s the only source of light in the room, and his face underneath the gentle glimmer is a sight that you know you’ll lock away forever to look back on with adoration.

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you...” you begin to sing, not bothered with the worry of embarrassment. Your lawless, flimsy tone elicits a bubbly laugh from Jeongguk. Suddenly, the bright Gguk you grew up beside returns, the one you love more than ever.

“Happy birthday dear Jeongguk-”

His voice harmonizes with yours, but he sings your name instead of his. He doesn’t even have to try for it to rattle you to your core. Your name off his tongue is by far the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard.

“Happy birthday to you.”

You extend your arms out so he can take in the makeshift festivity for all it is. His damp side-swept bangs reflect the pale gleam like black gossamer, and his eyes swimming with sentimentality.

“Make a wish,” you say, suppressing the wild flutter of your heart.

Jeongguk cups his hands under yours, pushing them back until the cupcake is equidistant to the both of you.

He says it firmly, not to be argued with. “No, together.”

You pretend to wipe the sweat from your forehead, thinking of what you might want this year. A job opportunity, to win the lottery, an easier semester at school. You don’t have to ponder for long. How could you, when what you really want has been sitting patiently at the forefront of your mind for almost a year?

Jeongguk sighs. If he could have anything in the world right now, what would it be?

In unison, you suck in a deep breath and close your eyes. You blow with all your might, extinguishing the flame together in one as the room falls dark again.

You wish that Jeongguk will like you back.

Jeongguk just wishes that life will get easier.

[universitypenguin]

What happened to u? U okay?

Hello!

First off, thank you for your concern. I appreciate it and I needed it after the past two days. To answer your question - I'm doing great.

I don’t have a lot of context about your question, but I’m guessing your concern is due to my recent blocking spree. A day ago, I went through my followers list and found some minors. I’ve previously seen smut fanfic writers concerned by underage people interacting with their posts. Until I had to block a few of them, I wasn’t aware how uncomfortable it would make me feel.

Since the blocking spree, I've had a lot of thoughts. I'm about to spew them everywhere. You might regret asking me if I was okay. Sorry about that. No one needs to read this whole manifesto about my rollercoaster of emotions the past few days. But in the interest of transparency, I'm posting this very long note.

What I want my readers to know is the following:

Tumblr is both a place for fanfiction and a social media site.

When I interact with followers and write explicit content, I have to be careful about what I'm saying and who I'm saying it to.

I don't intend to block or purge my followers in the future.

As long as I appropriately tag and put warnings on my work, that is adequate protection for my blog. Everything I write containing explicit content is tagged.

However, I won't interact with users who don't have an age stated in their bio.

There have to be boundaries, given the content of my writing. But I've also come around to the realization that I'm not capable of policing every interaction. Tumblr is a public forum. Minors following me makes me uncomfortable. But by the same token, my work is clearly labeled at 18+ and so is my blog.

There's a lot of explicit content out there for minors if you really think about it. In my high school freshman English class we talked about the book "The Color Purple." Believe me, that was explicit and we were only 14. Any minor with a library card and a Google browser can access a lot more intense content than what I write. I hope they're all being safe, but I can't have a melt down blocking spree again.

I'm not a cop, I'm not a parent, and what minors consume is down to them and the adult responsible for them. If I know someone is a minor I'll block them, should I notice they're trying to interact with me. Otherwise, I'm not purging my followers ever again. It's too much drama. I'd rather leave Tumblr than do that twice. I'm tired and I'm starting to work on my post graduate classes, I work full time in a demanding job, I'm in the process of editing my novel, and trying to keep up with my personal life. Quite literally, I don't have time to block. Writing fanfic is supposed to be my fun time. Let's keep it that way.

Due to the fact that some people I blocked were later unblocked after I took a closer look at their blogs, I'm posting a full explanation below. A quick summary is this:

After only writing for three months, I'd amassed 500 followers. On Monday I blocked almost 200 of them. Then I reviewed my block list and editing down some people who were prematurely blocked. [I assume the anon is one of the unblocked who had me disappear from their dash. Sorry!] This blocking thing isn't sustainable. In the future I'll run my blog differently as far as interaction goes in an effort to be responsible.

Continue reading for the saga of:

The Great Blocking Spree and Existential Crisis of an Erotic Fanfic Writer.

The Blocking Spree:

On Monday I realized a thirteen year old was following me and interacting with my work. This creeped me out.

*Commence blocking spree*

Then I realized how daunting my followers list was. I had 500 followers prior to Monday. That day I blocked about 200 people (some of them prematurely - more on that later.) So after the daunting task of trying to assume, to check bios for ages, to review blog content and determine the user's age, I was tired. Today, I even took a moment to reconsider if I wanted to use Tumblr. Because if all this is my responsibility, maybe I don't have the time or dedication to manage it. When I can be chill, I try to be. This attitude also affected by blocking. It contributed to me unblocking people. When I was doing the blocking spree, I'd give people with no age in their bio a fair shot by reviewing their posts.

I blocked some bot accounts, then a bunch of blank blogs, some ambiguous people who very well could be of age. For the first 100 followers I was pretty aggressive. Then my attention span dropped off and I was a bit more ambivalent. I realized I was doing a crappy job of moderating and wondered what the point was.

The point was that the thirteen year old interacting with my work freaked me out. When I found two sixteen year old followers, it pushed me to continue the purge.

So on I go, blocking. I'm so responsible for doing this, right? But my methodology is crap. What is context for being an adult? Someone had posted about budgeting advice. I thought the budgeting advice was too good for it not to have come from an adult. But my father's a financial advisor and to be honest, I could have given that level of advice at fifteen just from osmosis. Someone had pictures of themselves entering their marijuana plants in the Oregon State Fair. Okay, you've got to be over 18. I didn't block them. Someone else complained about their stats professor and I didn't block them. But in retrospect, one of my high school friends got permission to take college level math courses when we were seniors. She was seventeen when she had a stats professor. The thought circles back - what am I accomplishing here? Next, I went back and unblocked someone who ranted about her Tinder matches being 60 year old men. I wondered if their post was even real. I've lied on the internet before. Nonetheless, I persisted and worked through all 500 followers. When I was done I had 312 followers left.

Post Blocking Spree Existential Crisis:

I know that all the blocking in the world can't stop a teenager who wants to read smut fanfic. I'm not much for posting on social media and I'm not used to a lot of anonymous interaction online. Honestly, I got rid of my SM accounts during college when I felt it was wasting my time. This is the first time I've really use a social media site to post content since college. My twitter account is unused, my Instagram is for close personal friends only, and my TikTok is for mindless consumption of cat videos. (I've trained the algorithm to feed me only cat videos, it's great and I highly recommend it.) I don't post on TikTok, so I don't consider it full use, just lurking.

Okay, Alice, get back to the point....

Right, being anonymous on social media. My blocks are a fence and it's based on self identification from the blogs that follow me. I have little faith in underage consumers to out themselves. I have even less faith in their honesty or respect for an adult's boundaries. They're at a stage in life where they want to push the boundaries. Telling them no is all but inviting them in. I did my blocking spree because I was worried about backlash from someone's parents. But what reasonable judge would come after a fanfic writer? Come on. Logical thoughts but me emotional distress was still brewing.

Why I am the one responsible for who clicks the follow button on my blog? I've always clearly identified what I write and tagged my work as smut.

That thought snapped me out of my whirlwind of anxious thoughts. So I started looking into the laws. My regular work involves medicine, not the legal profession, so I was lost. I found some state level laws that made me glad I'd gone on a blocking spree. California and Florida have specific language in their laws about 'providing minors with explicit content.' But what exactly is that? What I researched applied to the following activities: co-writing smut fanfic with other people, sexting, roleplaying and online messaging.

I run a fanfic blog with limited interaction. I've never done an ask. I don't roleplay on here and I don't want to.

The blocks weren't personal. They were partly based on the awareness that Tumblr is an interactive site and a place that's had a problem with child pornography in the past. But I'm not the smut police. I suck at blocking, and I doubt I did a good job of purging my followers list. This is when it hit me that boundaries are only what I can enforce. They've never been about how other people relate to me, only how I relate to them. (Wow. I've never sounded more like my mother in my life...) After this thought, I started considering what actions I ought to take if I wanted to keep posting fanfic on Tumblr.

My Post Blocking Spree Clarity...

It's up to me who I interact with. I don't have to reply to every comment and re-blog, but I'd like to. I'm stuck between wanting to write for everyone and handling interactions on a social media site that's mostly anonymous.

The fact remains: I can't be the smut police because I suck at it.

What I've decided is that I'll make it very clear on my blog that this is an 18+ space where I publish erotic fanfiction. Smut will always be appropriately marked. I'm not going to interact with reviews, re-blogs, and messages from accounts who don't have their age in their profile. I won't include them in my tag list either. The internet is a public forum. Just as with publishing erotica, once it's out there online for download, it's done. As a ghost writer and an author, I don't control who buys my original fiction, which is just as spicy as my fanfiction. (Trust me, it's explicit. I once had a romance editor tell me I should dial it back on the smutty parts of a novel because "it's a lot of sex for a non-erotica market.") The key difference on Tumblr is about interaction. And that's something I can control. I can decide when I reply to other users. What brought me around to this was the realization that even after the blocking spree, I can't review every single like I get. That's an amount of time and mental energy that's beyond me. Just the past two days have been exhausting and sapped my will to write. Which sucks because I need to go write the next chapter of "Restitution" before tomorrow.

I think the reasons I went on the blocking spree are nuanced. The thirteen year old freaked me out. So did the other underaged people who had ages in their bios. But it also relates to my work. In my job I've seen some nasty child abuse cases. Early on in my career, when I was a 23 year old new hire, I was working on an autopsy for a child abuse victim who'd been murdered by their parent. It was so terrible and graphic, I had to ask one of my older colleagues to take the case. This colleague didn't like me. But she took one look at my face and took the file. She closed out the review without a question and never brought it up again to anyone. I was very grateful. Where I used to work (and where this incident took place) was a major city that holds the unfortunate title of being the human trafficking capital of the US. And something I learned working there was that most human trafficking victims go with their captors willingly. In two years at that job, I never saw one who'd been kidnapped from a dark alley like you see on TV. They were all groomed on social media and thought they were escaping their families (who were often overbearing, toxic, or dysfunctional) for a get away with friends. It was a fun adventure with their internet buddies, until it wasn't.

In retrospect, the underage interaction I found on my blog made me react because of what I've been through. The autopsy case kept coming back to me today while I was at work and I've finally untangled my emotions enough to figure out what caused my melt down. When I was blocking, I was feeling an anxious motivation that I know can only stem from the stress I deal with at my job. Don't feel sorry for me about this - I know my work in medicine helps a lot of people and it's a tremendously satisfying career.

Our Saga's Resolution & How I'm Going to Deal With This In The Future...

- - - - -

In post block clarity, I offer this conclusion:

I'm writing on a public forum. My work is appropriately tagged as smut. In the future, I will also use the tag #no minors to help with filtering. I've always asked underage people not to interact. And on a public forum, what more can I reasonably do? Going forward I will only interact with those who have their age posted in their bio. But blocking sprees and policing every interaction isn't feasible.

I'll review how I'm going to run my tag lists as well. I need to think it over and let my followers know my decision as to if I'll continue using them. Because tagging is definitely interaction and my current tag list was not screened at all. *face palm*

Finally, to my readers who have blank blogs or don't have an age listed. I respect your right to privacy and I'm careful with my personal information as well. But I've also had an uncomfortable two days. If you've lasted through this venting session until now, you must understand that I'm upset by underage interaction. I'm setting my own boundaries and going forward, I'll own my side of the internet. No interaction from me, unless I know your age. Full stop - no exceptions. I think it is reasonable for me to suggest that you leave something on your blog that signifies you are not a minor, whatever that may be. Someone who I didn't block that stands out in my memory had a bio that said "90s baby." It was simple, direct, and left no doubt they were over 18. No age reveal and not even a name. If you put something like this on your blog it'll help explicit content creators feel more comfortable about their interactions.

I went on a spree this Monday and I admit to being heavy handed and aggressive about pruning followers. I had an emotional reaction due to work stress and I didn't think things through logically. I'm relieved for the chance explain myself and set new boundaries that I'm capable of sticking to in the future. But remember - the block button is on my side of the screen. At the end of the day, you might be unhappy with me for the block, but it's my button, it's my blog, and I'll use it as I see fit.

Thank you for reading.

[spencersstrawberryjello]

Inside Scoop (Chapter One)

Chapter One - The Greatest Regret of my Life

Previous Chapter < - > Next Chapter

Chapter Summary: Dahlia Silvers is on her way to work when she makes a horrifying discovery that will change her life... and lead to her getting tangled up with the Behavioral Analysis Unit.

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, descriptions of corpse (violent death), police interactions (please let me know if I missed anything)

Word Count: 2417

A/N: Yay new story!! Ok, two quick things I need to mention before we get into it: one, I have absolutely no clue about the roads in DC and I merely listed two ones that I knew were on a corner. And two: I also have no clue where the Washington Post office is, and am not trying to make any claims about the company in any way, it’s just a reputable news place in DC so I wanted to use it for the story (please don’t sue me Jeff Bezos). Ok that’s all - hope you enjoy!! :)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was raining.

I knew we were supposed to get a short shower this morning, but I still groaned as I walked out into the disgusting downpour bombarding the streets of DC.

The only positive thing about days like this was the lack of people on the sidewalk. Generally everyone was dashing to the subway before they could get too soaked, but I only lived a few blocks from work. So I elected to walk.

Usually, that was fine. I had my umbrella, and I got into the office in about fifteen minutes, give or take a few. After that I got my writing assignments for that day within ten, and I got to work.

Usually.

The smell hit me first. Initially, I thought it was just rotten fruit, or something similar that someone had thrown out, but the closer I got the more it smelled rancid, impossible to describe.

The next thing I noticed was the bag.

The woman’s purse had been thrown from her hand. Or maybe it had fallen, I had no way of knowing. All I knew was that I saw it sitting on the sidewalk at the mouth of the alleyway I was about to walk past.

One of the greatest regrets of my life was picking up that purse.

Because when I picked it up, I had to turn and see who it belonged to. And that’s when I saw her.

I wasn’t sure how long the blood had been pooled around her body, but it was dried on the concrete. Her head was twisted at an unnatural angle, revealing the deep slash wound across her throat. Her hands were bloodied, and I had no way of knowing if it was her blood or someone else’s. All I knew was that this woman was dead, and there was no way in hell it was due to natural causes.

The combination of the sight in front of me and the smell of decay permeating the air sent a wave of nausea through my body, and my eyes watered as I turned away, vomiting on the sidewalk not far from where the woman laid. I fumbled to pull my phone out of my pocket, my hands shaking as I dialed 911.

“911 what’s your emergency?”

“Someone’s dead. It’s a woman, she - I was on my way to work, and I just found her - holy shit…”

“Ok ma’am, I’m going to need you to calm down please, everything will be ok. Can you tell us where you are right now?”

“Yeah, yes,” I forced myself to breathe, stepping out to the edge of the sidewalk in an attempt to read the street sign in front of me. “Right by the corner of 9th and G Street NW. There’s an alley a few feet away from the intersection. She’s…” I turned back to the woman’s body for a moment before forcing my eyes away again. “I don’t know what happened. It looks bad, I -”

“It’s ok ma’am. What is your name?”

“Dahlia. Dahlia Silvers.”

“Ok Dahlia. Is there anyone else with you? Or around you?”

I scanned my surroundings before responding shakily, “No.”

“Is the woman alive?”

“No.” I don’t know of anybody who could survive their throat being slashed.

“Ok. A team is on their way, but I need you to stay calm for me, ok?”

I nodded, despite the fact that she couldn’t see me. “Alright.”

“Good. Can you stay on the scene so that investigators can speak with you when they arrive?”

My first thought was that I was going to be late for work. It’s actually kind of funny, in retrospect, how unimportant that is compared to the discovery I just made. But the thought was still there.

“I think this would be a valid reason to call in sick.” I replied. The woman on the other end of the phone laughed lightly.

“Yes, I think it would. Would you like me to stay on the phone with you until the team arrives?”

“No, I’m just… I’m going to walk away a bit? Is that ok? I can’t… I mean, I’ve seen pictures and videos of stuff like this, but I didn’t think it would be so -”

“As long as you’re nearby, everything should be fine. It’s understandable that you would need to move away from the body.”

“Ok. Ok,” I took in another deep breath, “I’m ok.”

“A team should be there in a couple of minutes.”

The line went dead, and I sunk down against the wall of the building by the alley, far enough away that the smell of death couldn’t follow me. I felt like it was in my clothes, in my hair; for a second I thought I was going to throw up again, and I put my head in my hands, forcing myself to breathe until the investigators arrived on the scene. I had half a mind to realize that it wasn’t raining anymore, but I couldn’t be bothered to figure out where I’d dropped my umbrella. My clothes were sticking to my skin, and everything on my body felt viscerally wrong.

It wasn’t like I hadn’t seen images of dead people before; I was a young adult, and I liked movies. Obviously I was used to gore. But the stench… nothing could’ve prepared me for that.

I was surprised at the sheer number of people that showed up: I mean, there was a CSI van, which I expected, but a black car pulled up behind them, as well as two city police cars. Immediately, the CSI team got to work, and the rest of the people began piling out of their cars. The first person to take notice of me was one of the police officers, and he immediately made a beeline for where I was sitting on the sidewalk.

“Are you Dahlia Silvers? The woman who called in the body?” He asked. I nodded, and he held out his hand to me, helping me up on unsteady feet.

“Thank you.”

“‘Course. Now, I’d like to ask you a few questions if that’s ok?”

I nodded again, and he began a surprisingly long tirade of questions. Why was I passing by, where was I going, did I walk this street every day, what did I see first, did I touch anything on the scene, did I know the woman, had I seen anyone else - everything I should’ve expected but didn’t even think about in the wake of everything I’d just witnessed.

I answered accordingly: work, work, yes, the purse, the purse, no, no - I mentioned that the vomit was mine, and that I’d picked the purse up with the intent to return it to whoever dropped it. I mentioned that the first thing I picked up on was the smell, and that I had no idea what happened. Only that my day was perfectly normal, and then -

“Excuse me, officer?” A new voice cut into our conversation, a woman. I turned to look at her, noticing the FBI logo on her jacket immediately. “I’d like to speak with Ms. Silvers for a moment, if you don’t mind?”

“Of course Agent,” He nodded, rejoining the larger group that we were standing a bit away from. I knew he was still watching me, but I couldn’t be bothered to worry about my status on this case’s suspect list right now. I was still trying to process the fact that there was a fucking dead body about five feet away from me.

“Dahlia Silvers?” She asked, as if she didn’t already know. I nodded, and she smiled, introducing herself as well.

“I’m Special Agent Prentiss, I’m with the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit.”

Immediately my brow furrowed with confusion. “What are you guys doing here?”

“Well, we study -”

“No, I’m sorry, I should’ve been clearer: I know what the BAU does. What is the BAU doing here, in DC?”

“We’re investigating a string of recent murders, and we believe that this one is most likely connected to the case.”

“... If there have been enough murders here that your team needed to come down, why aren’t any of the news stations covering it? I haven’t heard anything about this.”

“We’ve put a block on most of the press until we can gain a better understanding of the situation. I understand why you might feel betrayed by the media -”

“It’s not like that at all,” I rushed to correct her, not realizing I’d cut her off again, “I’m a journalist. I work for The Washington Post. Our office is like three blocks away, that’s where I was headed when - when I saw her.”

The woman nodded, a sympathetic expression on her face. “I’m sorry that you had to see all of this.”

“Thank you,” I gave her a small smile. I did appreciate it, but honestly, I’d recovered from the sight pretty quickly. I’d started working in crime journalism recently, and that came with it’s fair share of gruesome images and stories of tragedy flooding my computer. Hence the reason why my lack of knowledge on these murders was a concern. “I’m just confused as to why I didn’t hear about the murders, while working for a news site. It would make sense for a few stories to slip through, or for our CEO to announce something to us writers - how the hell did you manage a full media block?”

She laughed a bit at my bluntness, but said, “We got here very shortly after the first murder. We were able to restrict almost all stories about the event immediately.”

“Almost all? No, you guys got all of them - I have a keyword filter set up on Google to email me whenever a seemingly newsworthy event happens in the surrounding area, and I feel like ‘local murder’ would definitely count as newsworthy.”

“That’s… surprising, but it makes sense. Never underestimate the power of Jennifer Jareau - that’s our press liaison, she handles -”

“Oh yeah, I know her! I’ve spoken with her a few times when you guys have had cases in DC.”

“Right! Yeah, she’s great…” She got a sort of far-off look in her eye for a moment before she cleared her throat, “But that’s not what I’m here to talk to you about. I know that you spoke with the local police already, but I was wondering if you’d be willing to return to the station with us so we could interview you a bit further - you’re not under arrest, you’d be free to go at any time, we just have a couple more questions.”

I was hesitant, but at the same time, there was an itch in the back of my mind. An itch to know more. If this was a chance for me to find out what’s been going on, no way in hell I’m saying no to that.

Plus, if I did say no, that would be incredibly suspicious.

So I nodded, allowing Agent Prentiss to lead me back to the black vehicle that arrived with the slew of police cars. She opened the passenger door for me before shouting to someone who I’m assuming was one of her coworkers.

“Reid! Stay here and investigate the scene - I’m going to escort Ms. Silvers back to the station, and I’ll be back to pick you up.”

I heard a faint response before she shut the passenger door, climbing around to the other side and allowing me a glimpse of whoever she was talking to.

He was standing on the pavement, still looking at the car, nodding as I’m assuming Agent Prentiss said something else to him. The blue sweater he had on over his button up presented an interesting contrast between the pantsuit I’d seen Prentiss wearing, and the ridiculous query of the nature of the BAU’s uniforms crossed my mind before I turned my attention back to the matter at hand.

The matter at hand being, of course, discreetly staring at the man in front of me.

His curly hair rested almost at his shoulders, and I was mesmerized as I watched him speak, one hand flying and the other holding onto a thin wooden cane. Finally, he nodded definitively before turning back to the crime scene, and my eyes snapped to the driver’s side door as I heard Agent Prentiss slide into the seat next to me.

“Oh please, don’t let me interrupt your staring at Dr. Reid,” She held up her hands in mock defense, trying to keep herself from laughing, “I’m merely the driver.”

“Sta - what, I wasn’t staring, I -” I immediately started to defend myself (even if I totally was staring at Dr. Reid), but Agent Prentiss laughed again.

“Relax, Ms. Silvers. I’m only teasing. He is quite a good-looking man, isn’t he? Not my type, but I’m not blind.”

I blushed, acknowledging her statement with a nod as she put the car in drive, pulling away from the curb. As we started down the road, the full weight of the events that just occurred finally hit me.

I found a corpse.

I was on my way to a police station.

I might be the main suspect in an ongoing murder case. I hadn’t actually asked about that yet.

It was almost as if Prentiss had noticed the shift in my mood - honestly, there’s a chance she actually had, she was a profiler - because she broke the silence with a question.

“Ms. Silvers? How are you feeling?” She asked. I just shook my head.

“Please, call me Dahlia. And honestly, I have no idea how I’m feeling. I… well, I’m sure I don’t need to say that nothing like this has ever happened to me before.”

“I’d be surprised to hear you say it had,” She laughed. I laughed a bit too, though I couldn’t ignore the anxiety eating at me.

“I’m pretty sure I haven’t processed it yet,” I said honestly.

“You’ve gone through a lot in the last hour,” She agreed, “And I hate to say it, but you’re going to have to go through a little bit more. We’re here.”

We pulled into the police station, and she put the car in park, hoping out. I followed suit, and we both headed up the walkway to the front doors.

I was practically trembling with nerves, but at the same time, excitement coursed through my veins at what I might learn.

The BAU might’ve put a blockade on the media from the outside, but I was getting the inside scoop.