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inutile-dilettante · 1 year ago

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Dialogue 4:

Said the fat old man barely fitting into his bar chair, drinking a berry cocktail and smoking a pipe with chocolate smoke, and coughing, because he doesn't smoke:

Being a poor student is horrible. Technology doesn't seem to understand you, and what should be something that makes it easier ends up holding you back. The failure to write constantly hits me in the hand and makes it difficult to produce a train of thought because I lack an air conditioning unit. Let's go… Is the work or the author worth more?

I said eloquently and drunkenly:

We can say that the fictional character undergoes considerable control and it's likely that the writer, in his place of power, exerts his influence over this and over the protagonist. Is there a way out of this, my dear? Forster, my bad influence, gives a way for this to be resolved by the link between flat and round characters, in which the author doesn't exercise his power. So I interpret it as not very rigid. But Bentley, who I don't dare read, was quite surprised to realise that by not following the rule he manages, even if it goes against his logic, to abandon classification in a relaxed way.

He took an immature drag from the pipe he was shakily lighting and, coughing, expressed himself:

And Forte to express support for the freedom of the writer says that all the complexity of the method is resolved not by formulae, but by the writer's power to get the reader to accept what he says. Useless Dilettantism seems to use this, but fails to sustain the writer's place of power. Useless Dilettantism leaves the place of power fluid, between reader and writer, sometimes in one, sometimes in the other, depending on the poetic moment and the prosaic moment.

He took a long sip of the reddish drink, finished it, ordered a whisky with ice cream, any whisky, because he didn't know anything about whiskies, he said:

Because a useless dilettante lives in omission, without any value and disposable, who doesn't care about many meanings in his writing, rules, norms, coherence, power, this due to his malnutrition of literacy and erudition. A being who, with the utmost impudence, appropriates creation through the experience of automatism and creation through the bizarre materials of his dreams.

He pulled on the baggy clothes that seemed to mark his folds and spoke:

Beyond automatic writing and artistic automatism, a labyrinth of absolute nothingness without reason, there is a being-here/there/there. And for these reasons, disturbing and crazy, perhaps André Breton would say that this is a Useless Dilettantist with a touch of the surreal, but because of a favouritism for Marcel Duchamp and his passion for and influence by Grant Morrison - especially when this author writes his character creations inside a confused and dismantled pyramid by Gustav Freytag or when this author shuffles or adds other letters for a neologisms in Alice Adams' ABDCE, for all that.

He shook his head. He asked for a glass of water, drank it in one gulp, asked for more whisky, said:

This Useless Dilettantist also presents himself as a Dada. But who cares what this low-class proletarian author is? What is this space really for? Forget it…

His hands were shaking. The barman asked if he was all right, he didn't answer, he just said:

This author has made thematic, in a precariously written prose, the unbearable authoritarianism that reigns in this bozonero government's arse, which has shat its moral rigidity with its voters called ultra-controlling FDPs. Shit, there's still such a thing! Even so far removed from the golden age of Wildeanism, I can smell the scum of the clones of the ninth Marquis of Queensberry.

A woman walked past. He looked at her as she crossed the hall. And as she looked, she spoke:

The class of Useless Dilettantism, which I proclaim, place and call myself, is a proud class of people who consider themselves not at all erudite and not very literate, and do not care about the enormous norms; standards; meanings established in a capitalist way; fame; coherence; nutrition of literacy; fattening of erudition; narrow control. But they do have an appreciation for bizarreness, stupidity, psychosis, neurosis, spontaneity, enthusiasm, automatism, confusion, lack of control, emotion. It is the dismantling of Gustav Freytag's pyramid and the shuffling of Alice Adams' letters. It's writing wrong. But if you feel the need, you can correct it in the way that suits you.

It's over. I said:

Obviously it's being completely emotional and sentimental, assuming your crazy, neologisms as doors to explore intimate meanings, your everyday thoughts, automatism, your emotional impulses, which rejects all kinds of rationality and balance, ridicules the norms conditioned by the relations of capitalist civilisation, mercenary and mercantilist conduct, all only through literature, that is, through the construction of literary, fanciful, bizarre, incomprehensible texts. And if these texts are not considered literature at the time, let them be illiterature. I say, thinking a lot about the passages of Mr João Cabral De Melo Neto. And not to be outdone is the intrusion of Useless Dilettantism into academic productions, without violating the ABNT, but subtly circumventing it. Since Useless Dilettantism is a line of writing style that, reading a lot of the manifestations of Dadaism, I put myself in. To summarise, you could say that it's about making art, but art that is very deeply spiritual and not at all revealing, which would be like saying that when it comes to light it can only be shit.

He farted loudly in such a way that the people nearby turned their faces away as he said it, speaking to what looked like the wall in front of him:

The studies of the ultra-aristocratic arts, as Wildeanism used to say, from the translation by Martin Claret, in a book that your telepathic powers will know which one to treat, which currently, he dared to put it, perpetuate with the petty bourgeoisie and do absolutely nothing, if not completely, apart from making the reasoning of a tight-ass or a tight-ass exclusive, a narrow control of what's inside and what's outside, by the extreme bureaucratisation in the process of obtaining erudition, literacy, academic fattening, poetry, Latin, other languages that dry out the anus.

Whenever he picks up the glass of whisky, his hands shake. Both the one that holds the pipe, now extinguished, and the one that brings the drink to his lips. He spoke in the meantime:

For these reasons, Useless Dilettantism gives up on submitting to the bureaucratic processes of shutting down asses in order to obtain the title of literate, which in bourgeois control has dyed the harbour streets and rivers of underwater cava with industrial grey bran. Instead, he embraces unlearning, for the free exercise of shitting, especially the shit he's made up, without difficult words, but rather invented words, disconnected words, words that don't need a foundation, although if they do, there'll be no problem in recognising, letting go of what has been built up with literacy.

He lit the smoke in his shaky pipe and spoke:

The places of literature and art are privileged places for select groups who won't let go of the bone of literacy in order to exalt their logical and controlling selves, which is why a fat man in baggy clothes who calls himself a Useless Dilettantist makes himself into his own place of madness, and then surrounds art and literature with "sinister strangers" from a port neighbourhood. Unreasoning is thrown together with unlearning as an open form that is always about to be dismantled in automatism, uncontrolled by extremely wet emotions. Unlike reasoning and extreme literacy, which seek to fix themselves without emotion in aridity.

Someone said to him, "What a rotten smell! Please, bartender, a skank or hashish", the bartender handed it over as if in hiding, saying "hope it's not horseshit". The slowly paced man looked at everything while drunkenly talking to himself:

The lack of reasoning together with the lack of literacy, typical of my diastratic and diaphasic or depreciative and denormative way, completely distant from prescriptive grammar, seek in my profile, for the rationality established by the structure of the current neoliberal identity-reference, to dismantle, assault, destroy in a satirical, crude way and in the unusual clowning that joins absurd statements and always aims to cause incomprehension.

He drank another huge glass of water, dipping his chin all the way down because he was drinking so fast. Then he spoke:

Now let's talk about comrade Forster. What's your name, my dear?

The barman replied:

Lucas. I'll call you a taxi, it's time to laugh. Maybe another day you'll tell me about this friend of yours. I'll ask the bouncer to show you to your car.

The Useless Dilettantist said quickly:

Have a cigarette, Black.

The barman handed it over and the bouncer arrived to take him to his car. He left.

#inutile dilettante

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ladykissingfish · 4 years ago

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Highschool with the Akatsuki

*Modern-Day*

Hidan

Behavioral nightmare. Fidgets, drops things, disrupts others’ work, talks during study/quiet times. Has to be constantly reprimanded for his inappropriate jokes and foul language. Sent to the principal‘s office so much that he was asked his opinion when the man was choosing new carpeting. Most of his friends are exactly like him, so if they’re in the same class they have to be seated clear across the room from each other. Can be a good student when he TRIES; but doesn’t see the point in trying, so will just barely be passing his classes with C’s and D’s. Skinny jeans and Vans with open flannel shirts over white or black tank. Wears a necklace with strange symbol on it, when asked what it represents he’ll say “my religion” but won’t elaborate. In the bathroom between every class grabbing “a quick smoke”. Dyed his hair silver as a joke in the 6th grade, has kept it that way ever since.

Kakuzu

As serious as a heart attack, no matter the situation. Incredibly tall and with a stern face; is almost always mistaken for being the teacher by new kids. Has an impressive collection of “old-man” sweaters. The stingiest guy alive with a buck; will actually make you hand-write him an IOU slip over borrowing 50 cents for the vending machine. Decent in all subjects but a star in Economics. Has one or two “friends” but doesn’t seem particularly close to them (or anyone else for that matter). Doesn’t talk a lot in class but when he does it’s usually because he disagrees with a point the teacher is making, and he isn’t afraid to debate him or her until he’s acknowledged as being correct.

Deidara

Deidara is one of those people who needs constant stimulation to keep him engaged in whatever’s going on. Since school tends to involve a lot of tedious repetition, paying attention in class isn’t something he’s the best at. Most likely to “finish up” his homework assignments five minutes before class starts. Grades tend to fall in the B-/C+ range. The type to always pick a seat that’s in the back of the room and/or closest to the window. Has a sketchbook that he carries around with him wherever he goes. Style consists of ripped jeans over fishnets, combat boots, fingerless gloves, band t-shirts and oversized pullover hoodies. Super-long hair tied back in ponytail. One of the first (and only) people at school to *openly* identify as pansexual; gets asked out a lot but always declines everyone because dating “would interfere with his artistic process”. Doesn’t speak a lot in class unless the topic particularly interests him, in which case he will ramble on and on until politely stopped by the teacher. His table at lunch will always be full because others are drawn to his energy and charisma. The art room is his home away from home; on a first-name basis with the instructor.

Sasori

The smart, quiet kid. Tends to keep to himself and always appears to be in his own little world. Doesn’t ever seem to be paying attention in class, but when the teacher randomly calls on him, he has the right answer every single time. Always gets A’s but will get upset over a “low A” (in the 90-94% range). A good budgeter of time and will usually manage to get most of his homework done at lunch or during study hall. Has a (small) core group of friends and not looking to add to it anytime soon. Wears a lot of khakis and long-sleeved shirts or sweaters (even in the summer). Because of his organizational skills, technical mind, and proficiency in using tools, he excels in woodshop; often informally used by the teacher as an “assistant” to help other students with their projects. Absolutely hates gym (his small stature and delicate nature make physical exertion difficult for him); this will be the only class he doesn’t try for an A in, as he skips it as often as possible.

Itachi

Dear God, the girls ((and quite a few guys)) are crazy over this boy. Is thought of as being brooding, and mysterious ... and gut-wrenchingly handsome. Very quiet, rarely speaks in class, but when he DOES, it’s always something deep and profound. Top student grade-wise. Long dark hair and soulful eyes. Style is all black, distressed baggy pants with chains, long-sleeved band or anime shirts, boots, fishnet gloves, heavy silver bracelets and rings. Is polite to everyone but only has a handful of actual friends. Submits poems and short stories anonymously to the school paper; always gets published. Is occasionally persuaded by his teachers to volunteer as a student tutor; line will be literally out the door from people seeking his “help”. Has friends in the drama club so will go to every single school play to be supportive, even if all friend did was lighting or scenery.

Kisame

Tall and athletic; captain of the swim team. Isn’t the most handsome guy but popular because of his personality. Not really the best student, but keeps his grades up enough to be able to keep playing sports. Sweatpants, Nikes, and Letterman’s jacket. The type to step in when he sees somebody getting bullied. Has a secret love for Orchestra music and likes to sit outside the band room when it’s members have rehearsals. Friends with/friendly to absolutely everybody. Will go through more than one tray at lunch. Shines the brightest during gym class. Also a surprisingly good cook; will voluntarily take Home Economics as an elective and be one of the best bakers in the class.

Obito

Known around school as “that one guy with the mask”. Was apparently in a bad accident as a child that left the side of his face heavily scarred; adopted the practice of wearing solid-color face masks to cover damage. Teachers are made aware of his situation so no one ever tries to make him take it off; although he will do so at lunch, at a table of his close friends. Smart and articulate, everyone turns to look at him when he speaks in class. Tall and moves quickly (and silently); nobody ever knows he’s there until he’s right behind them. Dark jeans, boots and will always wear a leather jacket or trench coat, even on ridiculously hot days. Doesn’t laugh a lot but when he does, the sound of it could make anyone fall in love. A big eater of sweets; will always have some kind of candy on him that he will quietly slip beneath the mask and eat during class. When caught by teacher, will claim he had low blood sugar, and because he’s a good student otherwise he won’t be questioned further on it. The type to, at the beginning of the school year, sign up for a ton of after-school clubs, stay in them for a week, decide they’re boring, and duck out.

Zetsu

Oddball kid who sits by himself and talks to himself more than seems normal. Teachers have learned early on not to call on him in class, because he’ll just sit there and give them a silent, intent stare until they move on to someone else. Surprisingly good grades despite never talking/participating. Wears cargo shorts, T-shirts and sandals with socks, no matter the weather. Always goes outside in-between class periods; sometimes misses class altogether just to nap under a tree with his face in the sun. Eventually founds and is “captain” of the school’s gardening club; not many members but the ones that do join are very environmentally conscious, modern-day “hippies”.

Pein

Legitimately has like, 9000 piercings. There’s not an inch of this guys face that doesn’t have a shiny silver stud in it. Red and black seem to be the only colors in his wardrobe; lots of button-up shirts and zip hoodies. Has a ridiculously deep voice and is always super-intense, even when just hanging out with friends. In group projects, he’s always very quickly designated as the Leader. In his group of friends, it’s clear he’s the Leader. Not the best grades but above-average. Spends a lot of time with the blue-haired girl; it’s always rumored that they’re dating although both parties have claimed to be “just friends”. A terrifyingly persuasive arguer; joins and becomes star of the debate team within a week. The type to ask a very deep, pointed question during class and change the entire course of the teacher’s lecture.

Konan

The type to have a lot of close male friends but almost zero female ones. Tends to be the “mom” amongst her group. Excellent student, always the top marks in her class. A lot of admirers but always politely turns down potential suitors. Some piercings but nothing very extravagant. The school used to have a very strict rule about dying one’s hair “wild colors”, but she dyed hers blue and led a successful protest regarding freedom of expression. Her favorite class is literature, especially when they get to the Greek Mythology and Shakespeare units. Does origami as a hobby; when bored in class will sit and tear up bits of paper or napkins and create gorgeous little flowers. Clean and organized in every aspect EXCEPT for her locker, which is a (legendary) jumbled and unholy catastrophe.

#the akatsuki #headcanon #high school #hidan #kakuzu #deidara #sasori #itachi #kisame #obito uchiha #zetsu #pein #konan

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theprodigypenguin · 4 years ago

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Style #3 Half-Body Couple Illustration Commission of Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy and Albus Severus Potter from my Royalty AU fic, drawn by @kidovna ((Instagram)) [[PLEASE DO NOT REPOST OR REMOVE ARTIST CREDITS (UNLESS YOU’RE THE ARTIST)]]

I’d like to preface this by saying this is the first time I’ve ever gotten a commission of scorbus (since normally I’m too focused on jeddy). This time, though, I decided to branch out. I’ve been getting so into my Royalty AU that I couldn’t help it. Of course there’s also the bonus that when it’s a commission, I can request scorbus the way I imagine them. Ergo why Albus is taller than Scorpius in this piece, because I am one of like five people on Tumblr who exclusively headcanon Albus as either taller or the same height as Scorpius (truthfully I headcanon them the same height, taller than James lol, but I like him taller in the Royalty AU because it fits better and considering their individual positions it is SO MUCH CUTER).

This commission embodies part of a scene from my Jeddy Royalty fic King and Lionheart. The context of the art takes place during James’ coronation, where royalty from other countries were invited to the celebration. Albus is just a prince, hence the golden circlet he wears in comparison to Scorpius’ crown, because Scorpius is the crown prince and future king of his country (James is future king in Al’s kingdom so Al is just your everyday prince, as you can probably assume). I don’t write about their dance, but they meet during the coronation and Albus, ever the gentleman, invited Scorpius to dance. We already know these boys have big hearts and an enormous capacity to love, and basically fall in love immediately. Their love is more of a side story in the plot but I really love them in this fic so far. They are SOFT.

Returning to chirping about the art itself, I love. I wanted to get a commission from @kidovna ever since @regulusarchieblack got a commission from her of Regulus and baby Teddy which is S O F T. Also because I’m head over heels in love with her version of Albus. The fluffy hair and soft eyes with the freckles. I love. So when she opened commissions I debated if I should try my luck before sending her a request.

I did send outfit and crown references, but every artist puts their own spin on things, and I’m absolutely in love with how Bhavna interpreted the references and added them to the beautiful royal babies.

I think my favorite thing about Albus is the circlet he’s wearing, because that is definitely a detail that kidovna took artistic liberties with. Since I couldn’t find a good reference for his head piece, I just sent her a whole bunch and said go crazy with the design, and she did, and it was worth it. It’s literally perfect. Both the gold of the piece itself as well as the red jewels (rubies I’d imagine) are a perfect nod to the fact Albus lives in the country that’s basically Gryffindor, where their colors are, of course, red and gold. But the green gems (emeralds!) are key nods to the fact he may live in “Gryffindor” with a family of Gryffindors, but he is, at heart, still and always will by a Slytherin. And tbh the emeralds are probably why Scorpius is drawn to Albus (and of course because of his pretty green eyes, Scorpius probably thinks he’s so fancy and elegant). And fuck. Fuck I’m not done with Al and the fucking metaphor that kidovna smacked onto this.

Word of advice, if you commission this goddess, let her take the reigns for some of the design, cuz she’s going to kick ass. Or maybe I’m just interpreting her design choices incorrectly because I’m absolutely feral. Kidovna if I’m interpreting this wrong let me know, but this is what I’ve taken from the art.

You can almost tell that Albus chose some of the clothes he’s wearing on his own. The black dress shirt he’s wearing under his tunic and coat has green accents, but the tunic and coat are black with gold accents (more Gryffindor-y). Then you see the red ascot and gloves, and I find myself wanting to jump off a bridge, because Albus in canon isn’t the biggest fan of red, so you can just imagine he was probably told or ordered to wear red if only to honor his country. But the articles of clothing that are red are also metaphorical, because he’s wearing red GLOVES and a red ASCOT. As if his touch and voice have been muted by the expectations of his father and his country. Even though he’s not the crown prince, he’s not meant to be king, he’s still expected to express a certain image, and the gloves and ascot are a metaphorical way of controlling him and keeping him in check. Baby just wants to be free and he finds that freedom with Scorpius.

Idk if it was kidovna’s intention to have the gloves and ascot interpreted like that but that’s where I am.

I also love that Albus’ clothes are almost more constricting than Scorpius’. Cuz Scorpius is dressed in a delicately adorned green tunic with silver accents and white pants (that go up to his waist which is very, I don’t want to say sexy, but I mean, high waisted white jeans on pretty boys, come on). He looks so effortlessly regal and the crown fits him so well. Yes I asked for his hair to be a little longer on purpose, cuz it looks almost more royal? His hair is neat and probably soft as hell, styled perfectly without a strand of hair out of place (or maybe one or two falling into his eyes which Albus decides is ver cute). And I will forever defend Scorpius with brown eyes like his mother’s, which is why I requested him to have brown eyes instead of blue or gray like Draco’s (not that I don’t support pale eyes Scorpius cuz I doooo I just can’t get enough of him with brown eyes and there’s NOT ENOUGH ART OF HIM WITH BROWN EYES OK).

I think I’m done ranting now, and the point of it all is I’m in love with this art, I want it carved onto my gravestone, I’m obsessed with my Royalty AU, and I feel so lucky and honored that I was able to order this commission, because kidovna is such a sweet person, and it was so totally worth it. And I know I said the same thing when I got my commission of jeddy as royalty, but getting this commission motivates me even more to work on my fic, because I have a few specific Scorbus scenes that I do plan on writing (they’re just from someone else’s point of view, like someone witnessing them falling in love).

Thank you sooooo much for taking this commission and humoring Albus being tall and Scorpius having longer hair and brown eyes. I know it’s not what you normally draw, but I’m really in love with this piece, so thank you <3

And of course you can read the jeddy royalty fanfiction, King and Lionheart, on Ao3. It is jeddy centric, but scorbus is there too, because I love them.

#scorbus #scorpius hyperion malfoy #albus severus potter #the cursed child era #royalty au #commissions #commission #commissioned art #art by kidovna #harry potter fandom #fanart #fanart commission #kidovna #jeddy #jeddy royalty au #king and lionheart #long post #longpost

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thanksjro · 4 years ago

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More Than Meets the Eye #22- If You Don’t Love Thunderclash, Get Better Soon I Guess

One last issue before we reach Comic Event Hell.

Time to use a dead man to set up the rest of the nonsense that’s got to happen, because apparently 14 issues of setup, including six issues of literal prelude, wasn’t enough.

The first bit of information we’re presented with is the fact that Chromedome and Swerve are on the opposite sides of the camera-shy scale. I guess that’s bound to happen when your spouse has had his video-cam literally connected to his brain for at least several thousand years.

The art may look really gritty and hardcore here, but this is actually due to a filter Rewind has over all his footage that he’s neglected to take off, because it made all the wartime propaganda he would stuff into people’s heads all the more brutal-looking.

No, this is the style of our artist for this issue, James Raiz, who we’ll be seeing a fair bit of over the next several issues. Raiz has worked on the Transformers franchise over the course of multiple license-holders, as well as contributed to both Marvel and DC comics. He also works in special effects, including matte painting and VFX. That’s just neat.

Anyway, the reason Swerve’s completely frozen in place isn’t because Rewind switched out his head-mounted camera for a gun that goes off if it hears you make a self-deprecating joke, but rather because he’s conducting interviews with everyone in the main cast. We get all their introductions, Cyclonus makes a statement about his political stances, Drift sounds like he’s high as a kite, First Aid strikes a sassy pose while not being bitter in the slightest, and Ultra Magnus makes a move that would get him murdered on any given film set in the universe.

You do NOT use your bare fucking hand to clean a camera lens, mister. Go get a microfiber cloth and try the fuck again, you complete and utter duffel bag of a creature.

We get a quick cut of the speech Rodimus made back in issue #1, with an angle that implies that Rewind was in the front row of the front row, then cut over to Rodimus asking Rewind to document their Capital-Q Quest. This is where we establish that this film doesn’t only contain footage from Rewind’s personal camera, but also that of the Lost Light’s security system.

Which feels like the sort of access you maybe wouldn’t want to give some nosy little film buff, especially when you have a secret giant serial killing sadist living in your basement like a disappointing adult child.

See? He was given the job to record the adventures of the Lost Light not five minutes ago, and he’s already using his powers for evil. Eavesdropping evil. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, Rodimus, and you just handed it to the guy with a massive Dominus Ambus-shaped chip on his shoulder.

So Rewind’s got permission to film just about whatever he wants, and Rodimus figures it’ll be nonstop action from here to the finish line! Fights! Intrigue! Mild hijinks and peril! Explosions aplomb! Oh man, I can’t wait to see what kinds of crazy shit will happen on this absolute roller coaster of a Quest!

Smashcut to Swerve literally falling asleep in the middle of a conversation. Yeah, as it turns out, no quest, capital Q or not, is nonstop action. Which is good, honestly, because that kind of seems like it would be exhausting after the first week or so.

Swerve, Tailgate, and Rewind are discussing cool alt-modes, which seems like an odd topic, seeing as Tailgate and Swerve have basically the same situation going on there, leaving Rewind alone in the camp of “does not have wheels”.

I worry about you sometimes, Rewind. Internalized Functionism is a very real problem. Uh, well, in your universe anyway. Us humans have to deal with regular ol’ classism and racism.

Rung gets brought up, and it’s revealed that the wheel on his back is almost purely cosmetic; it doesn’t even actually attach to his body. The lads decide that they’ve got nothing better to do, and set up a gentlemen’s wager- first one to figure out Rung’s whole deal gets 100 space-dollars.

Throwing shit at people’s heads will be a major plot point in the climax of this comic series.

Swerve’s go at trying to win the bet involved tossing a grenade at Rung to hit him in the neural cluster, which is rumored to be able to force an involuntary mode change if done correctly. Obviously, it didn’t work this go around. Then our narrative focus switches over to the crew’s hobbies.

You were listening to Prince, weren’t you, Magnus? Not even deep space is safe from the Cease and Desist.

Skids’ hobby is meeting new people, because he suffers from the terrible curse of being so fucking good at everything he tries, he always ends up dropping whatever he picked up, because what’s the point? This acts as a segue into another flashback, to even MORE bullshit that the fellas got roped into on Hedonia.

These are the Stentarians. They’re like the Cybertronians, if they were better in every way.

And by “better”, I, of course, mean “more bloodthirsty, warmongering, and driven enough to make their civil war last about as long as the Jurassic Period”. Also, they’re all combiners by default, and Whirl seems a little TOO into their whole situation. So much so, in fact, that when the Imperial Guard of their race show up to kill them, he decides to do them a solid by single-handedly ending their entire war.

You know, in most cases you’re supposed to show and not tell for visual media. This is way funnier, though, so it can be excused.

We jump back into the interviews, and Rewind’s just asked everyone if they’re happy. This might seem like an odd question, until you remember that everyone on-board this ship has crippling depression and PTSD, and Rewind’s married to one of the saddest motherfuckers to ever exist, so he probably has this question loaded into the proverbial chamber at any given moment. We won’t cover all of the answers here, because they’ll be more poignant to reflect back on later in the comic run, but let’s take a gander at the characters who’ve completed the first leg of their character arcs this season.

Drift, is that perhaps… an honest expression of your inner thought processes happening right there? Has Rewind broken through your carefully crafted persona, if even for just a moment, with his question? Perish the thought!

Because Tailgate outed himself as being baby in issue #21, I have zero doubt he’s not exaggerating here. He was a janitor, then he fell in a hole and became Dirt-Nap Supreme for six million years; even the most boring day on the Lost Light’s got to be better than that.

And it’s nice to see Chromedome on a good day for once. Hopefully he reveled in it while he had the chance, because this interview takes place maybe a couple weeks before he fucks everything up big time and has to blow up his husband with a missile strike.

Getting back to the Mystery of the Rungian Alt-Mode plotline, we see Rung using his backpack as a wheelbarrow- no idea what he’s actually pushing in the damned thing- and wearing the most disgruntled face I’ve seen him pull in a hot minute. Someone yells for him to come down the eerily unlit and sinister-looking hallway, which he does. Rung would not do well in a horror film.

He winds up at Swerve’s, where Tailgate, Swerve, Brainstorm, and someone who is most likely Trailcutter, given the colors, are hanging out in their alt-modes. Tailgate’s ploy to find out Rung’s deal is to do what he does best- lie! They’re having an alt-mode party, and wouldn’t Rung like to join in? There are, of course, logistical issues with being a car in a bar, especially when your drink is on the table and your head is tucked up somewhere in your torso, but never mind all that! Let’s get crazy!

This doesn’t work either. Maybe we should cut out the middle man here and just get Rung drunk enough to agree to a wet alt-mode contest.

No, I don’t have any idea how that would work.

In our next vignette, Rodimus comes into the comms room, Rewind trailing behind him like a grim shadow of death, to see what the hell Blaster wants, other than just the hugest glass of water.

Raiz’s work is very detailed, and you really feel the weight of these giant metal space robots, but everyone looks like they’ve been put through a food dehydrator.

We get a lot of build up to the character who’s about to be introduced, with a common opinion being shared amongst everyone- even Tailgate, who hates successful people like his life depends on it.

Lovely readers, put your hands together for the ideal male partner for Autobots, Decepticons, and Neutrals alike:

A man with so much charisma and charm that only Rodimus could hate him, Thuderclash brings to IDW what everyone wishes Optimus Prime would, making our disappointing space dad even more mediocre by comparison. He fights for justice, and freedom, and the good of the universe- and he does it all while having a chronic medical condition that forces him to stay within a certain distance of his ship that is also a life-support machine, otherwise he will die. Despite his handicaps, Thunderclash seemingly brings to others what they need most, even if they don’t even realize that they needed it in the first place.

He also, in this one scene, appeals to Drift’s religious sensibilities, does a secret best-friend dance with Ratchet (who he helped to pass his medical exams- yes, Ratchet), and congratulates Rodimus on his questing so far.

Thunderclash is one of those characters that everyone in-universe is supposed to love, and I completely buy it- because he’s completely genuine and humble about all of this the entire time.

Compare this to the last time Roberts wrote Thunderclash, in Eugenesis.

Where he was an ex-Decepticon.

And kind of an abrasive asshole.

And then he died.

Y’know, now that I think of it, Eugenesis Thunderclash and MTMTE Ambulon being basically the same character makes a whole lot of sense, even without the horrors of Roberts’ Twitter getting involved.

Thunderclash reveals that he, too, is on a quest to find the Knights of Cybertron, much to Rodimus’ chagrin. But first he needs the Lost Light to break out the jumper cables, and then for his second in command to stop threatening his life.

Turns out, not everyone is as obvious as the Cybertronians with their naming conventions. Whirl assassinated the wrong folks; I’m sure the Galactic Council is utterly thrilled. Paddox wants to steal the quantum engine technology for the good of his people, so they can kick the ass of the up-and-coming Terradore leader.

Completely unaware of the situation unfolding here in the lab, Swerve is directing Rung towards the warm, loving aura of Thunderclash for another go at winning the gentlemen’s wager- through the power of lying about having friends, Swerve’s “agreed” to get Rung Thunderclash’s autograph, in exchange for getting to check that Rung’s transformation cog is still working. Then they bump into the nightmare currently unfolding. My, whoever will save us from this dreaded menace, who holds a gun to the head of the Autobots’ greatest warrior, confidant, friend, and perhaps even lover?

How about a bartender and a giant vape pen?

Okay, so Rung doesn’t actually turn into a vape. It turns out that the Mystery of the Rungian Alt-Mode is also a mystery to the man himself. Because Rung is old as shit, the Functionists got to see this bullshit for themselves, and ended up testing him over and over and over trying to figure it out, lest he prove to be a flaw in their fascist ideologies. Fun fact: fascists HATE it when people they’re trying to oppress don’t play to their expectations.

The Functionists were the ones who gave Rung his little wheelie backpack, to make him at least appear useful. This sort of treatment tends to warp one’s head a bit, which would explain why he’s bothered to keep it for so long- internalized functionism’s a real bitch.

At least he’s not giving teenagers nicotine addictions under the guise of being somewhat better than cigarettes.

Back with Rodimus and Cybertron’s Autobot of the Year for 40,000 consecutive years, we get the unfortunate news that jump-starting Thunderclash’s ship is going to make the Quest go a bit slower for the Lost Light, much to Rodimus’ horror, though he does his best to put on a brave face; after all, that’s what heroes do, isn’t it?

It’s at this point that it’s revealed that “Little Victories” was being screened to all the Circle of Light members who didn’t get murdered or turned into Legislators on Luna 1, and man are these guys pissy. What was meant to be a recruitment video turned out to do just the opposite, because none of these guys want anything to do with what the Lost Light’s got going on.

Too bad Rewind didn’t have time for a cleaner cut for showing. Maybe they could have at least snagged a couple of these guys to tag along.

As all of the Circle of Light leave the theatre to go call everyone’s favorite Autobot to see if he needs a more crew members, the film plays on behind Skids, back to the interviews, as everyone promises more adventures just waiting on the horizon.

You’re not even on this trip anymore, you dork.

Chromedome gives us the title drop for the movie and issue, and we cut to Rewind organizing a group photo of all the interviewees.

And then Rewind died horribly like a week later. Thus ends season one of More Than Meets the Eye!

While I’m here, I’d like to take the time to cover a little bit of cut content from this issue, a scene between Drift and Ratchet.

Drift, during his interview, recalls the time that Ratchet called him into his office for a very serious discussion about his/Pharma’s hands.

Yeah, turns out they’re haunted.

Well, no, not really, because this is a prank. But Drift doesn’t know that yet.

Ratchet demonstrates this hand-haunting by punching Drift in the face, as he screams damnation at Pharma’s ghost. Drift, because he is a spiritual man, knows exactly what to do to deal with this possession; he draws his sword and chops Ratchet’s hands off, then throws them out the airlock.

This, too, is a prank, not that Ratchet knows it right away, yelling at Drift that he’s crippled him.

Clearly, these two belong together.

This bit of cut script was lucky enough to have gotten drawn by the colorist for MTMTE Season 1, Josh Burcham. Burcham’s line art is iconic- you won’t mistake him for anyone else. It’s rough and angular, and honestly just very charming. I’m a sucker for this sort of style. If you want to see his adaptation of this chunk of script- and trust me, you do- the link’s right here:

https://dcjosh.tumblr.com/post/107665292031/its-done-the-mtmte-22-deleted-scene-in-all-its

#transformers #jro #mtmte #issue 22 #maccadam #Hannzreads #text post #long post #comic script writing

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imasimpforstevengrant · 5 years ago

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Why do we like this clown so much?

Change the "we" for "I" and you get an usual tag I use whenever I post my content in Tumblr. And it sounds funny at first but whenever you start diving into that phrase, the deeper it becomes. So, I finally have decided to share my thoughts about this strange but wholesome attraction to this deeply flawed character. It's not something I usually do since I don't know how to write down my feelings properly and also in english so please forgive any typos (I'm from Chile so don't be surprised lol).

So...Why do we like this clown so much?

Why was it that a character precisely designed to scare and to disgust the fuck out of us ended up unchaining a series of feelings that shouldn't have taken place in a beginning?

Let's take a look at the background: Joaquin Phoenix was cast as Arthur Fleck/Joker in 2018. The first image of him as the aforementioned character revealed a deeply disturbed man. We knew the plot. A man driven to insanity after a brutal history of abuse, creating concern in people if the upcoming film would inspire real life violence. Incel violence and mass shootings, more specifically.

(the image in question)

As 2019 arrives, the two trailers generated so much hype that media needed to fuel its concern about it. Since it wasn't your typical comic book film, media basically bombed our minds making us believe this film was going to be a total disaster, an excuse to cause harm to others among other nonsense, as if the film would justify everything Arthur would do in the film, eventually. As the release date is closer, the film receives thunderous applause and unanimous praise from critics. At this, fans rejoiced and expressed impatience to watch the film.

October 5th.

People left the theaters amazed, shocked and genuinely moved by the inhuman treatment Arthur received in the film. The fear media tried so desperately to infuse in us with all the incel bullshit and such turned out to awake one of the most positive, best feelings in humans:

E M P A T H Y

The word that so gloriously cleared away any dark thoughts or actions not only proves media was wrong but it turned out to ridicule it in way nobody will forget: Hundreds of people advocating for mental illness, calling out to the kindness that could change a person's bad day and questioning how politicians and rich people are indifferent to social problems proved how much as a society we have changed in comparison with the one shown in the film.

However, since we are on Tumblr, I'll get straight to the point and try to explain why the fuck does this clown has us dying out of love and compassion (and lust).

I. Background.

As nurturing as we women are for a biological matter, we see a man deprived of a good job, is on seven different medications, working like a slave to sustain his ill mother, putting aside his own health and well-being to look for her, struggling to make his dream of being a comedian despite everyone stepping on him, underpaid and treated like a freak for a disorder he did not ask to suffer, which makes it impossible to be indifferent to all the horrible ordeal that eventually will reach the limit of what he can tolerate without going insane. It is impossible to not say or think, at least, that someone (even if it's just one person) should stand for him just as it is impossible not to feel the need to throw ourselves at him to shield him from people who hurt him or simply offer him our shoulder whenever he has had a bad day, specially when he learns he was sexually assaulted by his step father.

This horrid behaviour terrifies newer generations because they get a taste of what being a social outcast was like more than thirty years ago in comparison with today, where there's more acceptance and treatment for mentally ill people like Arthur. We see in him someone who could have been saved with a proper education and emotional support instead of descending into madness as a criminal. Others simply saw themselves being treated like him at some point in their lives and couldn't help but put themselves in his shoes.

II. Personality.

TRUTH BE TOLD:

There's something called "attraction by proximity". It is the explanation to the eventual love you feel whenever someone doesn't catch your eye at first terms of physical attraction but his/her personality does attract you. This happens to be the base of this situation. His shyness, introverted nature, tenderness and innocent desire to make people laugh and put on a happy face awake some kind of tenderness we cannot resist. This combined with the gloomy background increases our understanding (but not justifying) of the bad decisions he'll eventually take during the course of the film. This traces a line of harsh, almost hurtful contrast of the violence he shows later on the film. Once again, it is not justified in any way but it is certainly understandable.

III. Appearance.

Arthur Fleck is unconventionally attractive.

This happens to be a plus for most women. He is out of the male beauty standards (no abs, not too muscly or particularly tall), which makes him even more unique. It is precisely the fact that he's not a model one of the reasons women love him. He could easily be your man next door or your colleague or the guy you always see but never dare to talk for fear to bother him Because it's about proximity. Arthur looks like your common neighbour. He's not meant to be your typical desirable male protagonist at all.

... And yet.

Jesus Christ, he's so fucking hot I can't even---

It's not about how beautiful his green eyes are, his long slender fingers, his hair or his smile only. It's the charm behind it.

Another "magnet point" is the way he dresses. I know he's impoverished and his wardrobe tend to be repetitive but it is so unpretentious, so simple that is hard to not fall for. The modesty of the shirts, ironed trousers reminds us of a mature man deeply withdrawn into himself, love starved and longing to be seen and loved by others, like a war veteran who still fights the most important war: with himself. Is someone who needs to be listened and understood.

AND OF COURSE WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE ABOUT IT?

He's also brought back the old gentleman outfit, white shirts, red/yellow vest, red suit and elegant dancing moves and the retro style of the film boosts this attractiveness.

People keep comparing him with the previous interpretation of Joker (Leto's) whose costume appealed to young women with a tattooed, gangster, mumble rapper crazy-guy wannabe which didn't connect with the audiences (young people in general). This supposedly was to match or even have a sexy, tormented and desirable villain like Marvel's Loki. We all know how that story ended but it's the link for the next point below.

IV. Transformation

This is a particularly strong point considering how much we loved to watch the process of this weak, powerless, forgotten caterpillar into a beautiful and visible butterfly that will gracefully stir its wings for everyone to see its colours.

When Arthur transitions to the Joker, it's so cathartic to see taking revenge on those who wronged him (even when we're not supposed to root for him) like seeing his shyness fading away into a vivid confidence when dancing half naked in the bathroom, or witnessing him making way to make his name known to people in Murray Franklin's Show:

Adding to this newly gained confidence, there's another turn on: the way he walks.

At the beginning, his pace is hunched and limping, displaying his submission to violence, which makes the viewer more satisfied to see his broken yet beautiful soul turning the past pain of his existence into art: he lets music guide his moves as a way to tell the world he's a new man by cutting most of the sick, evil roots that harmed him, that he's invincible, that no one can stop him. Watching this cathartic display of euphoria was the most iconic scene in the film, following his speech at the TV and the inevitable meltdown that caused Murray's death.

Going to further appreciation, even his clown make up is beautiful. Why? Simple. The combination of colours, shapes and the intimidating glare just embellishes even more the character.

The dark blue triangles in his expressive eyes makes the light green colour to highlight, specially in dark backgrounds, giving the impression he's piercing your soul whenever he stares directly at the camera. Same can be said about the red smile and emerald green hair. They boost an already intimidating look.

The cold and warm colours paint a picture of a man full of intense emotions, mirroring it in a simple yet masterful artistic way.

Another interesting point is the way Joker dresses. Usually we had almost every single live adaption of this character in purple coat, hat, etc. But this particular version is not following any comic, which gives more freedom to creativity and once again, out of the standards of what we could have expected.

Red is a colour related to passion, action, love, strength, motivation and excitement. As for yellow, it indicates freshness, happiness and enlightenment and finally, green. Green is renewal, growth and regeneration. Colours that represent a new stage in his life, a mirthful chapter at last. We finally get to see our battered, always humiliated protagonist (or hero) descending into madness, but finally free from his repressed man who held his soul captive like a bird to fly away, to never come back. An insanity that despite being his downfall, turned out to be his ticket to freedom as he walks to the light in Arkham Asylum dancing at the end.

Ladies and gentlemen: behold the film nobody asked... But the film we fucking deserved.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

❤️💚💛

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padfootagain · 4 years ago

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Girl Crush (VII)

Chapter 7: A Time For Lilac

Here we go for a new chapter!!! It's getting a little angsty over here… oops?

I'm still very efficient writing this story, so I'll keep on updating it every 48 hours!

I hope you like this new chapter!! Tell me what you think about it :)

Word Count: 2887

It was the fourth time that this man came to the shop, and seemed to wait until you were available to walk inside and ask for a bouquet. Sometimes for his mother, sometimes for his sister, sometimes for a cousin, but never for his girlfriend.

Four visits in less than two weeks, you were starting to get a little suspicious.

Ever since the brilliant success of the wedding you had planned (that had almost turned into a disaster, but had been saved by your friends), you had earned more freedom in your work, alongside a nice raise. It was still far from enough to even imagine asking for a loan to the bank, but slowly, you were building a little pile of gold. A few years, and you would eventually have a chance at buying your own shop.

But these were days to be planned far ahead. In your immediate future, what needed your attention the most was this man coming again and again to the shop to see you.

Jasmine had dropped by, waiting for you so you could get lunch together. She was chatting with Sandra while you finished the bouquet of a client.

And that's when the mysterious man entered in the shop.

He was staring at you as you waved at the customer goodbye, and you welcomed him with a smile as he approached the counter.

"Hello, miss," he shyly smiled. "I… I was wondering if you could help me get a bouquet."

"Sure, what kind do you want?"

"Uhm… it's for… my colleague. She's just had a baby."

"Oh, one for congratulations then! I would advise… irises of course, they're perfect for congratulations and… some lilac too, to wish a good luck for the next step in life."

"That sounds perfect," he nodded.

Meanwhile, Jasmine was carefully watching the scene unfolding before her.

Because it was so obvious that this man was only here for you.

You, on the other hand, seemed partly oblivious, but not completely. She guessed that you suspected that something was up but had connected the dots yet. She wasn't surprised. You didn't believe in yourself enough when it came to relationships.

"Alright, I'll make you a bouquet with these then… Gareth, right?"

He gave you a bright grin, tumbling on his words a little, because you remembered his name.

"Yeah… that's… that's it. Y/N, right?"

You pointed at the pin with your name on your shirt.

"Yep!"

You laughed as you prepared his bouquet, and Jasmine was ready to throw up at how Gareth was giving you crazy heart-eyes…

Five minutes later, and he was leaving with a beautiful bouquet, and you were joining your friend to cross the street to buy some Tacos and eat lunch in the little park up the street.

"You didn't tell me about your secret admirer," Jasmine blurted out as you were taking a bite of your food.

"What do you mean?" you replied, your words distorted as you chewed on your food.

"Gareth! The guy in the shop. He was all mushy around you."

"He wasn't!"

"He was! How many times has he come to the shop?"

"Four times in ten days…?"

"Yeah, he wants to shag you."

"Jasmine!"

"Okay, date you… whatever."

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head, but the thought lingered in your mind.

"Do you really think that though?"

She knowingly nodded.

"Yep, I'm sure. But I didn't think you would be interested…"

"What do you mean?"

"What about Harry?"

You snorted in response, and took another bite of your tacos to avoid looking at your friend.

"Harry is my friend. My best friend."

"Harry is handsome and adorable."

"Harry is my best friend."

She put down her food, sign that she was getting serious. But if you thought that she was going to say something ridiculous, you were completely wrong this time. When she spoke again, her words were wise and concerned, so different from her usual light tone.

"Look, I've known you for years. I know when something is up with you. And I think that you really need to take a decision about how your relationship with Harry is going to evolve. Because you're falling for him, sweetie, and I really don't want to see you getting hurt."

You shrugged her remark away.

"He doesn't see me like that."

"How do you know? Have you asked him?"

You snorted once more.

"Don't be ridiculous! Of course not!"

"Then how do you know?"

You let out a breathy laugh, that sounded a little more bitter than what you meant to reveal about how you truly felt.

"I just know. He doesn't see me like this at all. I mean… look at me! Do you really think that I'm the kind of woman to write songs about? Of course not. It's not me at all. I'm his best friend, and that's all."

"Can I give you an advice then?"

"You're going to even if I refuse."

"Get him out of your system," Jasmine warned you. "Get him out before he settles there too much. Before he can truly slip under your skin. Gareth sounds like he is exactly what you need. Find someone else before your heart settles for someone you can't have."

You thought about it as you chewed on your food.

"I don't know… it feels like second choices…"

"You've just told me that you weren't going to be with Harry, so he's not really second choice, if Harry isn't one."

You nodded.

"I guess…"

"You should listen to me and squeeze the feeling before it becomes heartbreaking."

You chuckled.

"No worries, it's not that bad."

The pinch of guilt in your heart though made you think that perhaps you were lying a little now…

But you chose, as always, to ignore the feeling and look away. Some truths were not meant to be faced.

Harry was beyond nervous.

He wasn't done with his album yet, far from it, but he had finished this one song that… he thought it was good. He thought is was very good, actually.

But then, he had made it, crafted it himself with his friends and colleagues, and he reckoned that it ought to blur his judgement towards the piece. There was only one way to make sure that he wasn't heading in the wrong direction: he had to ask someone else's point of view. And who could help him better than you?

No, you weren't a musician, but that was an advantage in his eyes. He had spent so long working on this song in the studio, he needed someone who was completely out of the whole process of making music to tell him if there was any good in this or not.

He trusted you with his life, he would do anything you asked him blindly. He had absolutely no fear of you telling anyone about the song. It would be safe in your hands.

He climbed the steps to your apartment too fast, his lungs burning, but he paid little attention to his lack of air.

In his hand was the memory stick upon which he had saved his song. He hadn't told you about it at all, you were simply supposed to spend the evening together. Sleepless in Seattle was on TV, so it obviously called for an evening in, watching rom coms all night through while eating pizza and these chocolate chip cookies you adored. He had a whole bag of those in his purse to get you through the night.

He wasn't surprised to find the door open for him and didn't bother knocking.

"Hi, Y/N!" he chimed, coming in and locking the door behind him before taking off his shoes and throwing his jacket on the back of your armchair.

You were sitting on your sofa, already in your pyjamas, buried under two blankets while reading a book, and he couldn’t refrain the tender smile that made its way to his lips at the sight.

"Hi, Harry!" you grinned up at him, and let him lean down to kiss your cheek before he would settle on the sofa by your side. "How are you? How was your day?"

"Uhm… fine… what about you?"

"Great. Had lunch with Jas. It was nice."

"Hmm."

"So… pizza?"

"Pizza," he nodded.

You only needed a couple of minutes though to see that he was nervous, for some reason.

"Is everything okay?" you asked him with concern making you frown.

"Yeah… yeah… uhm… actually… can I ask for a favour?"

He seemed all shy now. What was wrong with him tonight?

"Of course! Anything."

He nervously ran a hand through his curls, messing his hair a little.

"I… uhm… I just… need your… opinion on something."

"Sure! What is it?"

"Uhm… I've just finished this song today… or at least I think it's done but, uhm… I'm not sure is it good or not so… could you listen to it and then tell me what you think?"

Your expression turned from worried to ecstatic in 0.1 second.

"YES! Of course! Oh, I'm so excited! Can I listen to it now?"

He wasn't expecting to see you so excited about it, but then, he didn't know what else he could have been expected from you. You were always so supportive with him.

"Sure, here."

He handed you the memory stick.

"You… don't have to do it right now though…"

But you were already reaching for your computer, so he let out a chuckle and reached for his phone.

"I guess I'm the one in charge of ordering the pizza for tonight," he smiled while dialling the right number.

The song was all there was on the memory stick.

Sign of the Times

So you just clicked on it…

"I'm gonna get some wine," Harry mumbled, jumping to his feet and hurrying to disappear in the kitchen.

He picked up two glasses and one of your bottles of red wine, knowing where everything was stowed, as if he were in his own home. But then, your home was a little bit his as well, just like Harry's large house was a second home to you.

He heard the first notes of the piano rising from the living room, and his heart started to beat so damn fast…

What if you didn't like it? What if you thought it was terrible? What if he had been wrong for the past few months?

His voice rang through the apartment as well, deep and soft and sounding exactly how he wanted it to sound like. Would it be enough though?

On one hand he reckoned that he was an artist, and he had to stick to what he wanted to achieve with this song. He wanted to make a record in which he would be himself, sing songs full of honesty, talking about stories he wanted to talk about…

But then, there was the reality of being good or terrible, and he had lost sight of this thin line between the two after so many hours spent on that one song.

He took a deep breath, and made his way back to the living room to see your reaction, no matter how terrified he was.

The guitar and drums were kicking in as his eyes fell on you. You had closed your eyes, your hand resting on your heart. You seemed to be breathing more heavily than usual.

So… that was the kind of songs he had in his heart, huh?

You felt overwhelmed, to be honest. The song was beautiful, and the lyrics pulled at all the right strings in your heart, and his voice… God, his voice was heavenly.

A thousand emotions crossed your frame as you listened intently to every detail of the song, from the melody to the instruments and the way his voice changed. A thousand emotions because of the song itself, because of its lyrics, because of how Harry's voice carried so much passion it was tearing your heart apart, but also because a realization was suddenly coursing through your veins, and you didn't want it to.

Just stop your crying

Have the time of your life

Breaking through the atmosphere

And things are pretty good from here

Remember everything will be alright

We can meet again somewhere

Somewhere far away from here

A single tear rolled down your cheek, but you were too immersed into the song to brush it away.

Your best friend had made that…

We never learn, we been here before

Why are we always stuck and running from

The bullets?

The bullets

It was his voice speaking such lyrics, and all you wanted to do was hold him close and never let go.

Just stop your crying

It's a sign of the times

We gotta get away from here

Stop your crying

Baby, it will be alright

They told me that the end is near

We gotta get away from here

This realization that had punched you in the guts though, it was so obvious now… You had been right all along.

We never learn, we been here before Why are we always stuck and running from The bullets? The bullets

Of course, you had always known the truth. You had simply done a wonderful job at hiding it right in the spotlight.

We don't talk enough

We should open up

Before it's all too much

Will we ever learn?

We've been here before

It's just what we know

There really was no need to talk about any of this. What an idiot you had been to ever question it, to ever imagine… oh, you were such a silly girl…

Stop your crying, baby

It's a sign of the times

We gotta get away

We got to get away

His voice on the recording turned into almost a shout, hitting a high note, but it sounded almost like a call for help. You were fully crying by now.

It was so beautiful, and you were so… so foolish indeed… unable to see what was right in front of you that whole time.

The song died out, and you needed a moment to open your eyes again. When you did, Harry was handing you a tissue.

"Please, don't tell me that you're crying because you think it's so bad and my entire career will be ruined."

You laughed. He really was the only person able to make you laugh while you were still crying.

He was so stupid sometimes. So… so stupid.

You looked at him as he gave you a shy smile, clearly waiting for you to tell him what you thought about the song. But how could you describe how you felt?

There was one word that fitted quite well though…

"Proud."

He frowned, not following your train of thoughts, but you shot him a bright smile letting out a breathy giggle.

"I'm so proud of you."

His frown turned into a touched smile, and you were quite certain there were tears shimmering in his eyes.

You pushed your computer aside and launched yourself to hold him in your arms, burying your face in his shoulder and holding him so close… just because you needed to let him know, physically, how much you l…

… hell, you couldn't say it, could you? 'How much you cared' would have to do.

"I'm so proud of you," you repeated, as he tightened his own hold on you. "This song is so… I have no words, really. It's such a beautiful song, Harry."

"Thank you," he smiled in your neck, his voice shaky but clearly relieved. "Thank you."

"It's so beautiful. And I'm so, so proud of you."

"Thank you."

He cleared his throat, his voice breaking several times before he could go on.

"So… I'm doing okay, right?"

You let out a laugh.

"I would say you're doing amazing!"

"Great."

Amazing. Yes, that was exactly what he was. Amazing.

What a foolish girl you had been, how could you even think that he would feel the same? He was so… he was way, way too good for you.

The realization was a punch in the stomach. You didn't deserve him. He was somewhere among the stars and you… were far behind.

He was your best friend, and would remain just that, because there was no way someone like him could feel anything more for someone like you.

Jasmine was right.

Get him out of your system. Get him out before he settles there too much. Before he can truly slip under your skin.

Get him out of your system before he could truly slip under your skin…

You should listen to me and squeeze the feeling before it becomes heartbreaking.

Squeeze the feeling… Yes, that was what you needed to do. Squeeze the feeling until it died out. Until it was nothing more than a memory…

"Alright, enough tears for tonight, at least, until Meg Ryan listens to Tom Hanks in that car," Harry pulled away, drying his cheeks with his palms. "Let's drink to that, huh? To my song?"

You accepted the glass he offered you, giving him a warm smile.

"To your song."

And as your glasses rang together, you knew you were right.

Gareth was a much safer choice indeed…

***********************************************

Tag list: @ponycake27 @horsesreign @xinyourdreamsx @jbluevelvet@notkeppeki @daynigt-dreamer-stuff @fudgeflyss @stuckupstucky@snek-shit @suchatinyinfinity@i-padfootblack-things @buckybsarmy @heyohheyitsgabi@jigsawlover10 @emyyjemyy @addictedtofictionalcharacters @staringmoony@madamrogers @cronias13

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles series #harry styles fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #writing #series #imagine #harry styles imagine

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defdaily · 4 years ago

Text

‪[TRANSLATION] Sudsapda Magazine August 2020 issue: Crazy JB

Note translated by defdaily.

All credit goes to Sudsapda magazine.

JB’s note

“Ahgases always make sure to wear a mask & wash your hands after going out~!!

Let's get through this difficult situation together!

My besties can do it!

And look forward to SUDSAPDAxJB!

Thank you! Kob kun kab~!”

ABOUT JB

• Real name: Lim Jae-Beom

•Date of birth: 6 January 1994

•Blood group: A

• Height: 179 cm Weight: 66 kg

• Nationality: South Korean

• Birthplace: Goyang. South Korea

• Position within the Band: Lead Singer / Dancer

•JYP 5" Official Annual Audition

JB Won the competition along with Jinyoung

• JB has been an entrepreneur for 3 years before he made his debut within the band GOT7. He is well known as the member of the duo band called "JJ Project" working with Jinyoung. Moreover JB has acting experience, he played the leading role in a series called Dream High 2 which was on air in 2012.

• His personality is quiet and honest but straight-forward.

• He is very chic and cool as well as sleak and sexy. But recently we have seen JB in a different light, looking cute with a sense of humour which melts the fans' hearts.

• We can say that JB was born to be an idol. It was his supreme talents combined with outstanding abilities. He can write songs, has a unique sound to his voice and can move with such energy when he dances. JB also used to join B-boy dance with his underground team.

A MAN WHO WAS BORN TO BE THE PERFECT IDOL

Let talk it through first that on this occasion the interview with JB, who is one of the members of the band GOT7, has been done on Q&A session via e-mail. Due to the COVID-19, we have not had a chance to extensively talk to him in person. Although the interview with JB was quite straightforward because of his personality which is quiet and reserved, we could still perceive the real sense of his sincere and honest goodwill towards his fans. This obviously came out through his responses within the e-mail. We at least hope that this interview will help every fan club member who is currently thinking of JB uplift their feelings and spirits. Let's give you an update on JB and his life.

During the COVID-19, what have you been doing?

JB: I did not go out anywhere at all. I spent most of my time watching TV, and also wrote new songs for the safekeeping.

How have you been looking after yourself during these times?

JB: I have been doing exercises and taking some vitamin supplements, I also have been browsing for healthy option menus. If I feel that menu is okay, I would just give it a try. Actually there is quite plenty of delicious healthy food available in the market.

What sort of activities did you do to help yourself when you feel lonely and bored?

JB: When I get bored, I like to read books or play video games. Reading really makes me focus on my own self. The contents in the books help me to open up a whole new world. I also play video games because I think it is so much fun, stress-free and relaxing.

Do you have any special activities that you are now able to do during the COVID-19 which you could not previously do due to your work commitments?

JB: No, I don't have any activities in particular that I couldn't do before. I think when we were in the process of promoting our new album, I did everything that I ever wanted.

With the new album "DYE," how have you seen you and your band grow and develop?

JB: I think each development is different. On the album, I reckon that we have improved our image. I also think our feelings towards the new album are not the same from the previous albums too.

On this album, if you are to choose one song that you like the most, which one would it be and why?

JB: I definitely like the song called Crazy as I wrote it myself. Personally I also like the song called Aura because the melody of the song mekes me feel so relaxed and rejuvenated. I think it is such a beautul song.

On this album, your hair is longer. How do you feel about your new look? What's the feedback from your fan club?

JB: The fact is I had no intention of growing my hair this way, it literally just happened. But it has turned out to be fine and has had a good impact on my image. So l will keep this look for a while and I will surely look after it and keep it styled.

Every time when we launch a new album, I always need to think about what hairstyle I should have to create a new image. Of course, there will be some people who like it and those who don't. But it turns out there are more people who prefer my hairstyle like this which is a relief.

As your work for this album DYE progressed during the COVID-19, can you tell us what differences have you experienced from the previous albums within the normal circumstances? Did you regret that you were unable to meet your fan club like you used to do?

JB: First of all, I have got the feeling that I don't have as much getup and go energy just like when I could meet my fan club.

We, GOT7, think we create songs for our exclusive fanbase. The sound of cheering from them makes us feel so uplifted. We feel that we can do this! And it definitely makes our performances worthwhile.

At this difficult time, we are a little disappointed that we can’t perform in front of our fan club. We really want to see everyone enjoy themselves and have a great time with our own eyes.

What is the first thing you will do when the situation is better?

JB: I want to perform on stage and I also would love to travel.

Can you tell usa little bit about your childhood, what were you like growing up?

JB: I was a mischievous little boy. But I was also reserved.

How were you raised and what kind of parenting style did your parents use?

JB: My parents always believed in me. They gave me the freedom to think and to do things. For them, whatever I did that makes me happy, they were always willing to support as long as it caused no trouble to anyone else.

No matter what I did, they always said to me 'You live your like and seek out your own path, therefore you will need to be responsible for it.’

Now I am older, they still believe whatever I do there must have been a reason why I choose to do it. It has always been this way

When you were young, what was your dream?

JB: The fact is that I never liked to stand out from the crowd. So when I was young, I always dreamed of living a quiet life, kind of like a slow-paced stream.

If you were not a singer or pop star, what do you think you would be doing now?

JB: If l am not a pop star, I think I would probably help my family farming. Perhaps right now I might be going to the market to sell the fruits and vegetables that we harvested.

If you can choose just one thing that an idol must have, what would it be?

JB: I am not so sure. I myself never thought 'Because I am the idol, I need to do something in particular', I think there are no special qualities required. For me, I only want to express myself through dancing and singing.

For you, which concert was the most memorable?

JB: The one that stood out the most was probably our first performance in America. We performed in an arena which held over 10,000 people. At that time, there were a lot of Korean fans living in America and also fans from other countries. I was amazed by how much they really enjoyed our show.

When I thought 'Why do the people like us this much?' and ‘Why do they choose to come to see us?’ This made me realise and become determined to make the show more worthwhile than what we original planned.

Can you tell us what is your opinion of the other GOT7 band members?

JB: We have the same feeling that we all are caring and treating one another as friends, brothers and family members. All of us have the same goal to be better in what we do. We always encourage and support each other to move forward and develop to be better artists.

I myself have a clear aim to become a talented artist who can write songs to tell meaningful stories to help inspire the audience.

What would you like to tell your fans who are missing you so much and are awaiting your future concerts in Thailand?

JB: We want to apologise that we were unable to perform the concert in Thailand. But next time we will give Thailand the best performance yet. Please do wait for us. Love and miss you all.

All credit goes to Sudsapda magazine.

#jb interview

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kuriquinn · 5 years ago

Note

Dear Mr. Kuri, thank you so much for your recent post concerning the young artist who was effectively censored from sharing his/her/their art on a particular subject (just... so sad). I was hoping to get your thoughts on how adults might navigate interactions with minors in this space. Specifically, extending our support for their work w/out necessarily... engaging with them. I know this sounds crazy stupid but before tumblr I wasn't really active on any social media and I had no idea (cont'd)

there were so many users under the age of 16 on this site. I've even come to learn that some identified users I had interacted with early on were as young as 13, and as someone in my 30's - tbh that scared the shit out of me. I totally agree that someone that young and impressionable would be crushed by the kind of criticism that poor artist faced, and would likely never create or share again... to their detriment. The thing is though, I feel really hesitant following any creator (cont'd)

that isn't 18 or older... What are your thoughts on following/reblogging/interacting with minors in fandom? I fully agree that they need support, especially from older users who don't care what some stranger on the internet has to say... but I just feel... like I don't know how to go about that the right way. I really REALLY don't want minors on my blog at all... sorry to bother you with this, just wondering how you'd suggest handling this. I didn't comment on the post bc I didn't (cont'd)

want to risk that young artist reading my inquiry and feeling even more alienated. As always, thank you for your time and insight. - Birk

I may go a bit off-topic here, but let me give this a try:

I think in, In the end, it all comes down to communication and mutual respect.

Adults have this pervading mentality that until a child hits 18, they need to be infantilized and sheltered, but once they pass that magical number, then it’s a free for all. So, for eighteen years, it’s all about sticking a Potemkin village in front of any idea, person or situation that a child might find uncomfortable (read: they don’t like the feelings it gives them; very different from actual harmful ideas/persons/situations). Then, these sheltered almost-adults enter public spaces and expect society to keep doing that…when it turns out that’s not how it works, they become toxic.

This is how poisonous movements like purity-culture develop online, or new fans who demonize older fans and adults as being perverts for enjoying the very same pastimes they have.

For those of us interacting with these people, the automatic reaction is to “cancel” that person, thereby alienating and isolating them even more in their bad behavior. Instead of taking the time to talk with and try to show them through actions that the world isn’t limited to what they know.

As adults in fandom, we know that a large majority of the fandom is younger, because we were them once. We were that 12-year-old discovering fanfiction existed or sharing drawings we made of our original Harry Potter characters or quoting our favorite movies and televisions ad infinite. We got shit for it in real life, so we had to create spaces of our own online.

We, in effect, built fandom so that it would be more welcoming for the generations that came after us. And while a lot of us stick to that unwritten knowledge, as the years pass, a lot more become gatekeepers. They set a standard of what a fan must know or do to be considered a “real” fan, and they’re mean about how they do that.

Is it any wonder that new fans coming in experience this behavior and then jump on the “adults in fandom is creepy” bandwagon?

These new fans coming in, especially tweens and teens, they still live in this false reality where they only get to enjoy themselves and be kids for a limited amount of time, and once they Become Adult they have to give it all up—and can’t figure out why all those old creeps online are still a part of such “childish” things.

That fault lies squarely on our society, which pushes kids from a young age to be thinking of what they want to do when they grow up so they can get out there and start producing, producing, producing for the state and becoming a “useful” member of society.

We as fandom veterans, need to do our best to teach them differently, and that comes right back to my point: communication and mutual respect.

Older fans need to respect newcomers, as much as the new baby fans need to learn to respect their fandom elders. There is no maximum age for fandom; there’s no minimum age, either, although the younger the fan, the more their parents should be keeping an eye out for the truly damaging stuff and teaching their kids how to avoid that stuff on their own.

Now, obviously, people don’t always announce online how old they are (though it does happen more frequently now than when I started writing), but regardless, there should be a certain etiquette to it.

When you interact with someone online, you don’t know if they are 15 or 50. And the way you interact with them shouldn’t change based on knowing their age. We should maintain the same level of respect for the new fans as the older fans.

So, as to how adults might navigate interactions with minors (especially when you know they’re minors)?

Treat them as any other intelligent human being: with respect.

Because how else are they going to learn?

My mom always used to say to us, “I’m not raising children, I’m raising adults,” which basically meant she was teaching us how to be adults. Kids don’t pop out of the womb magically knowing how to interact with the world, they take their cues from the adults that are already there.

Fandom babies learn how to be active participants in fandom from the people who are already there. And they’re more likely to listen to and look up to someone that treats them as a mature and capable being, than someone who dismisses them as too young or too green, or dismisses their knowledge and experience because they haven’t earned their metaphorical stripes.

Remember, a lot of these kids are coming to fandom because they need an outlet. In this age of helicopter parents, this is the only place where they get to be treated as an individual adult-in-the-making instead of the overly protected child or student that must be shielded from the world. A lot of them are trying to figure out how to deal with the horrors that happen to them or around them every day. That 16-year-old girl writing a rape/non-con fic under a pseudonym? She could be exorcising her own demons through the only way she has because no one in her life is listening to her. That 14-year-old writing about homelessness might know more about it than someone twice his age.

Expertise and experience knows no age, and as adults, we need to not fall into the trap of thinking it does. There are some kids out there that have seen and endured more than I can even imagine.

In recent years, there’s been this trend of treating kids like sexless beings until we, the adults, deem them capable of having a sense of sexuality. When the reality is, once kids start puberty, they’re developing that sexuality, and are trying to figure out what it means to them and how to navigate it, and the world. It doesn’t matter if adults are uncomfortable with it, this is what our human biology has decided for us.

And chances are, as much as adults try to curate the world and keep kids from seeing the darker, less safe stuff? They’re already doing it. I saw this when I was teaching, the kids are already accessing and interacting with stuff like sex, drugs, relationships… Whenever a faceless censor tries to block that sort of thing, they find a way around it. Humans are funny like that—we want the things that are kept away from us, whether harmful or not.

It’s our responsibility to help them think critically about what they’re seeing, and teach them to express themselves about it in a respectful manner.

So by all means: follow that amazing artist even if they are only 15. Their age doesn’t negate the fact that they have talent that needs to be nurtured and encouraged. Reblog the images and the fics that strike you, even if you find out the person writing it isn’t 18 yet. Send a shoutout via DM or review or comment to someone that you admire whether you know they’re age or not.

Unless you’re being actively creepy and offensive (and seriously, don’t do that, it’s gross whether the recipient is a minor or not), chances are these creators are desperate for some assurance that the medium they choose to express themselves in is having an effect on people—and that they have the power to make even adults sit up and listen.

So…TL;DR:

When interacting with younger fans, do so with respect. And if they say something problematic, don’t automatically cancel them and write them off as “obviously too young and immature to understand”. They understand more than you think and will seek out their interests whether adults think it’s appropriate or not. That’s how freedom works. But if we’re going to nip bad behavior like purity culture and agism in the bud, we need to start by treating minors in fandom as adults developing their worldview, not as infants to be sheltered.

#longpost #asks #fandom #content creators #content consumers #reading #writing #online etiquette

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gumnut-logic · 5 years ago

Text

We’ll Be Home For Christmas 3.2

Title: We’ll be home for Christmas

Day Three - If not for the courage of the fearless crew – Part 2 Prologue | 1.1 | 1.2 | 2.1 | 2.2 | 2.3 | 3.1

Author: Gumnut

23 - 27 Dec 2019

Fandom: Thunderbirds Are Go 2015/ Thunderbirds TOS

Rating: Teen

Summary: The boys can’t fly home for Christmas, so they have to find another way.

Word count: 2909

Spoilers & warnings: language and so, so much fluff. Science!Gordon. Artist!Virgil, Minor various ships, mostly background.

Timeline: Christmas Season 3, I have also kinda ignored the main storyline of Season 3. The boys needed a break, so I gave them one. Post season 3B, before Season 3C cos we haven’t seen it yet.

Author’s note: For @scattergraph. This is my 2019 TAG Secret Santa fic :D I hope you enjoy it.

Okay, you’ve almost caught up with me and I go back to work tomorrow :( So, unfortunately updates are going to slow as work takes over my life for the next five days – it is my double weekend where I work both Saturday and Sunday and I will whinge appropriately. I have been fortunate to be off work from Christmas to New Years and have churned out somewhere around 15,000 words in an attempt to finish this fic…and I failed (It is currently at 32,000 words and climbing). Getting there, but my writing speed will drop dramatically as RL takes over ::pouts::

Happy New Year to all you wonderful Thunderbirds peeps. Thank you for all your support on this fic and all the others I’ve played with throughout the year.

Many thanks to @vegetacide and @scribbles97 for cheering me on and their wonderful support through this craziness. And to @onereyofstarlight for geeking out with me over the setting.

Disclaimer: Mine? You’ve got to be kidding. Money? Don’t have any, don’t bother.

-o-o-o-

“You’re going to be talking gibberish. We don’t speak whale. You could do more harm than good.”

“I have to try.”

“This isn’t about you.”

“I know that, John.” A harsh indrawn breath. “Please. It might be just enough to cause a distraction to draw the mother away so Gordon can do what needs to be done.”

John glared at his brother. It wasn’t an angry glare, but a worried one. Virgil was acting odd. His attention kept focussing elsewhere, his expression troubled.

But John trusted Virgil, so he set up the audio interface with the buoy, giving both his brother’s mic and his keyboard access to the amplifier and transmitter currently hanging in the water column. He looped in full control over the frequency and amplitude and duplicated the buoy’s holographic feed onto Virgil’s tablet so his brother could see what was happening.

Gordon appeared to be in a glaring contest with the mother whale.

Virgil played the first note.

John held his breath.

And his brother began to sing.

-o-o-o-

Virgil recited the notes of the distant whales’ answer to the mother’s distress call in his head as his fingers touched the keyboard. It had a pattern in both the math and the music bouncing around in his brain. He couldn’t duplicate it, but he could harmonise with it.

At first he echoed it a little, getting a feel for the extra dimension of the lower frequencies and the fact he couldn’t hear it when the computer calculated it below human range. Then he improvised.

The mother’s call still echoed through his body, its pulses sharp and poignant. Whales were mammals. Humans shared a relatively recent ancestor and if there was one constant amongst all the mammals on this planet, it was emotion. It might not be quite the same, but if he could feel that mother’s anguish, perhaps she could feel his reassurance, his hope, his need to help.

He wasn’t one to sing often, but in this case he felt the need to connect beyond the electronic and create the sounds only his voice could communicate.

So after a few initial attempts to align his music with the language of the great whale, he let himself go.

-o-o-o-

Mamma whale continued to stare at Gordon.

His brother’s voice echoed through the water around him, the melody fractured by the parts Gordon could not hear.

“C’mon, beautiful, you gotta like that. Virgil is a great musician.” Please.

She moaned again.

Virgil’s melody acknowledged her even though Gordon knew his brother had no idea what she was saying.

The music pleaded and even Gordon felt its draw.

Mamma muttered and drifted a little closer to her calf, nuzzling her as the little girl whimpered.

Calming notes and his brother’s voice slipped into a fragmented resemblance of a familiar lullaby their mother had sung when they were children. No words, just notes, his tone softer, his voice deepening.

Gordon edged closer to Mamma.

She didn’t move.

Still staring, her beautiful eye fixated on him.

Closer.

A little more.

He reached out and touched her.

Still she stared.

He brushed his gloved hand across the folds above her eye. “That’s it, beautiful. I’m from International Rescue. We’re here to help.”

The water vibrated around him as she punctuated his statement with her voice.

Moving slowly, he took off his right glove, removing the barrier between them.

Her skin was wrinkled, yet smooth to touch.

Her eye kept staring at him.

He kept stroking.

Virgil kept singing.

They stayed that way for a period of time Gordon wasn’t quite sure he could measure, when Mamma suddenly let off a grunt and a whine before backing off a little, opening the distance between her and her calf.

Oh, thank god.

“Thank you, Mamma.”

She didn’t answer, but also didn’t stop staring at him.

Gordon edged closer to the calf and when she didn’t intervene, he moved even closer, approaching the little one where she could see him, her frantic eye darting between him and her mother.

Net was snagged up half her face and wrapped around her pectoral fin.

Gordon swallowed and approached, reaching gently up in a parrot of the movements he had made with her mother.

“Hey, sweetheart. Who did this to you? Hey?” He reached out and touched her eyebrow ever so gently. “I’m so sorry. We’ll make it better. I promise.”

His bare fingers brushed such soft skin.

She didn’t pull away.

“Hey, Scott. You and Alan, in the water, quietly. Either side of this little one. Let’s get her free.”

His brothers’ FABs were ever so quiet.

Gordon stroked the little girl’s eyebrow, muttering reassurances as his brothers materialised quietly beside her. It was no surprise when it was Scott who took his side between calf and mother.

Mamma moved a little, but didn’t protest.

Keep eye contact.

Keep stroking.

Keeping his voice low. “It is wrapped around her fin and caught in her mouth. Scott, see if you can free her fin. Alan, cut away the netting on that side and I will manage it on this side. She is very tired. Who knows how long she’s been stuck here.” His stomach roiled with anger again.

“FAB, bro.”

Scott’s hand landed gently on his shoulder and squeezed.

Virgil was still singing.

Gordon kept stroking.

Scott made short work of the net on her fin, cutting the cursed nylon rigging away with a very sharp knife. Alan signalled that he had cut the netting on her left side.

“She’s looking at me.” Alan’s voice was quiet.

“Al, she’s scared. Show her you care.”

Gordon was still stroking her eye ridges.

“How?”

“Reassure her. She’s a rescuee like any other.”

As Gordon turned to the net caught in her mouth, his little brother started murmuring reassurances.

“Okay, sweetheart, let’s get you free.” He put his glove back on and with a final brush of her brow, he set to work cutting netting away from her throat folds.

In places it had gouged deep into her skin.

His heart flickered between sorrow and anger.

Scott moved in to assist and between them the majority of the snag was cut away.

That only left the tangle in her mouth. She was actually free to move now, but she stayed where she was, perhaps unaware of her freedom, perhaps because she still had net in her mouth.

Bubbles danced on her skin as she stared at him.

He brushed his hand across her eye ridge again, ever so gentle.

Scott settled beside him and tentatively reached out and touched her flank. “She’s beautiful.”

Gordon sighed. “That she is.” A pause. “Stay here. Keep her calm as much as you can. I need to look at her other side. Removing that last piece will probably hurt.” He swallowed. Ignoring the emotion roiling in his gut, he turned away and dove under her.

Alan was splayed across her left flank, still murmuring reassurances, his arms wrapped around her as much as he could.

Gordon bit his lip, not sure whether to laugh or cry at the sight of his little brother hugging a whale.

Ultimately, he did neither and simply approached her other eye beside Alan and gave her a reassuring stroke.

The net had worn into the corners of her mouth as she struggled against the snag. He could only pray it wasn’t caught in her baleen.

Gritting his teeth, he nudged the net a little, testing it to see if he could pull it out. Once slipped from the groove it had cut into the poor calf’s skin, it did move...just enough to give him hope.

“Okay, guys, be wary. This might hurt.” He reached over and caressed her eye ridge again. “Sweetheart, I’m sorry, but this has to come out. We’re almost done.” Another caress.

Her eye fixated on him.

He tugged on the net.

To his surprise it slid easily, the majority of it just thin nylon rope.

Then it snagged.

The calf let out a sharp groan, her pectoral fins flailing.

Shit.

Alan narrowly missed getting tossed.

“Woah!” Scott yelped from her other side.

“Scott, you okay?”

“I’m good. That must have hurt. Have you got it all out?”

“No.” It was a rush of exhaled air.

Mamma moaned, then clicked at her daughter, but she stayed where she was.

Gordon returned to her eye. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.” His hand stroked her again. God, he wished he could communicate with her. Ask her to open her mouth so he could take the blasted net out safely.

As if the thought was a magic wand, she did exactly that, slowly opening her mouth just a crack.

“Oh, that’s it, sweetheart, yes.” His hand brushed over her rostrum, gently encouraging her to open just that little bit wider. Her sheets of baleen emerged and Gordon refused to acknowledge his awe of this moment, knowing if he did, he would get lost in it.

Reaching in, he gently slid his fingers between the brush-like filaments of her feeding filters, ever aware he was probably either the first or one of very few to have ever reached into a live whale’s mouth. His fingers followed the netting until he could feel what it had caught on. And yes, it was caught in her baleen.

He swore silently and, as gently as he could, he fiddled with the rope, desperate to get it loose.

The calf shifted in the water, agitated. Mamma called out again and Virgil, still playing, still singing, answered best he could with a gentle note echoing through the water.

“Almost there, sweetheart.” He said it more to reassure himself than the calf. He wanted to swear. Unable to see the snag and relying on touch, he failed to locate the tangle. Frustrated he removed his hand and then removed his glove. He needed more information.

Placing his bare hand into a whale’s mouth was an experience. But it gave him the information he needed to unhook the netting from her plates. Something soft and squishy brushed against his palm and he had the distinct impression that he had just been licked.

In any case, he was able to remove his hand and the netting along with it.

The relief was a physical thing, his whole body wilting.

He handed the net fragment to Alan and with a brush of his bare fingers across her rostrum again, he returned to her eye.

She stared at him.

“You’re free, sweetheart.” His fingers touched her eye ridge and to his astonishment, his vision blurred.

Aw, shit. Crying underwater was not a good idea.

He blinked madly and straightened himself out. “John, Virgil can stop playing now. She’s safe.” Scott swam up beside Gordon and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

The calf’s eye flickered to his brother and back to Gordon.

Virgil sung one more note, long and plaintive, then faded into silence.

Water lapped at the calf’s flanks.

A quiet click.

A moan.

And Mamma was moving in.

Gordon grabbed Scott and Alan and dragged them backwards, out of range as Mamma took her place beside her offspring. There were several more clicks and moans.

She draped a pectoral fin over her baby.

Nudged her gently.

A flick of a tail and they were both moving. The calf was still exhausted, but she was no longer snared and the injuries should heal, though likely scar. Gordon thought briefly back to the sunfish he had seen yesterday. One of the lucky ones. His anger surfaced again.

Mamma groaned loudly and a wave of something washed over them. Gordon felt it in his gut. It was as if she had reached out and touched him with her voice.

They stayed there until the blue of distance swallowed the pair.

As the last of the adrenalin left his system, Gordon found himself shaking. But it wasn’t over yet. He turned towards the inflatable. “John, I need Four out here, now.”

-o-o-o-

It took John to snap him out of it.

Soft words.

A hand on his shoulder.

An end to the music.

Virgil found his throat aching, his abdomen complaining and his whole musculature system pissed at him for holding his position so long, wired with so much tension.

He let his shoulders drop and groaned. “God.” His hands on his face and he bent over the keyboard.

“Virgil?”

“I’m fine.” It was automatic and muffled by his palms.

John’s hand was back on his shoulder anyway.

Virgil sighed and pushed himself upright, looking up at his brother. “I’m okay, John, honest.”

That earned him a copper frown. But John was forced to turn back to his controls as WASP called in.

Virgil rubbed his face.

His holographic display showed the mother and her daughter turning back onto the south-easterly migration route. His eyes latched onto them.

The mother let off a groan and a wave of intensity washed over him. His bones sung with it and he gasped out loud.

Then it was gone.

“Goodbye.” It was a parched whisper falling from his lips.

John was shooting more worried looks at him.

Virgil pushed away his keyboard and struggled to his feet. Yes, he was going to pay for this little jamming session. His abdomen complained extensively.

But his head was so...full.

“Vir-“

“I’m fine!” Okay, it came out sharper than it should have. Another sigh. “Sorry. I’m...” He waved a hand in the direction of the back of the boat. “I’m just going to see if Gordon is okay.” His brothers were making for the inflatable on his display.

“Take it easy.” John’s expression was still annoyingly worried.

“I’m good. I promise.” He just needed a moment to think.

Gordon called for Four and John turned to action the request. Virgil took the chance for what it was and slipped out of the room, one arm wrapped around his middle.

-o-o-o-

By the time Gordon made it to the inflatable and dragged himself and his brothers out of the water, Two was on approach.

He glanced at their yacht and sure enough, his second eldest brother could be seen climbing the steps to the bow of the boat. He was hunched over just a little more than Gordon was comfortable with.

He nudged Scott and gestured in Virgil’s direction.

His big brother’s lips thinned.

Two’s VTOL fired as she braked mid-air and levelled herself out. Tin was brusque, keeping conversation to procedure, no doubt as unhappy with the reason for this callout as the rest of them.

Virgil straightened on the bow of the yacht and stared up at his ‘bird.

“I’m going to fish that net off the ocean floor before it can hurt anyone else. You want to field our musician?”

“FAB.” It was muttered as Scott eyed his artist brother across the water.

Okay, it wasn’t fighting fair to target Virgil with smother-brother number one, but there had been something in that music that even Gordon and his tin ear could pick up. He would check on the man himself, but that net had to be removed immediately.

Two dropped her module with a splash and Alan engaged the inflatable’s engine to dart them over to it. Gordon jumped off onto the open module ramp, the sight of his ‘bird, as always, lifting his spirits.

He rolled his shoulders as Alan turned the inflatable around and bee-lined for the yacht.

“Okay. Let’s do this.”

-o-o-o-

“I’m fine.”

Virgil said it loud enough to be heard above the roar of Two’s VTOL the moment Scott set foot on the top step leading up to the bow. His wetsuit was still dripping, blue neoprene leaving puddles in his footprints.

He raised his hands defensively. “I didn’t say a thing.”

“You thought it, though.”

Scott shrugged and took the remaining steps to reach his brother’s side. He eyed him sideways, noting the tension knotting the muscles in Virgil’s shoulders through the light shirt he was wearing.

An arched eyebrow and Scott reached out, letting his arm drape across those tight shoulders. As expected they flinched the moment he touched them. He pushed the matter and pulled his brother into a damp one armed hug, regardless.

Some of the tension slipped away.

Target result achieved.

“That was some performance.”

“Hmm.” It was distracted and barely acknowledged, Virgil’s eyes still on his ‘bird.

“John says WASP was able to grab a good percentage of the onsite perpetrators. Penny reports she has some good leads on the financial sources. We will find those responsible and they will pay.”

“They can rot in hell.” The hate and acid in Virgil’s voice was so uncharacteristic, Scott had to stop himself from taking a step back.

“Virg?”

He turned away, pulling himself out from under Scott’s arm. “I’m going to go lie down. And before you ask, yes, I’m fine, okay and completely dandy. Just...a little tired.” Virgil ran a hand across his face.

Scott eyed him, completely unconvinced, but knowing if he said anything it would be either brushed off or his brother would explode. “Okay.”

Virgil looked up at him and Scott was taken aback by the anguish in those dark eyes. But Virgil reached out and squeezed his arm before brushing past and heading back towards the steps off the bow.

Scott’s eyes followed him as his brother braced his side and made his way down.

Yes, they could rot in hell.

-o-o-o-

End Day Three, Part Two

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #Virgil Tracy #Gordon Tracy #Scott Tracy #John Tracy #Alan Tracy

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astrochiron · 5 years ago

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the signs :: blond(e) // frank ocean

Aries- Solo (Reprise)

“After 20 years in, I'm so naïve I was under the impression

That everyone wrote they own verses

It's comin' back different and, yeah, that shit hurts me [...}

Was I working just way too hard?”

This is definitely a question any Aries has asked themselves before. They tend to work for work’s sake and often don't take the time to cherish in their accomplishments and, like Andre is referring to, they often don't pay attention to their peers when doing their own thing.

“So low that I am no rookie but feel like a kid

Lookin' at the other kids”

Aries, while independent and fiery, is still the first sign of the zodiac. The rookie, the novice, and kid can all be associated with his sign. Andre is equating himself to a beginner because he’s not certain if the music work works the way he thought it did when he first started.

Overall

The song represents the independence of Aries, even as simply as the name of the song being “Solo”. Andre’s personal offense to the way the rap game has changed exhibits an Aries’ stubbornness, not usually talked about; Aries aren't noted for their evolutions. The song also reflects on his hard work.

Taurus- Futura Free

“I'd say long as I could fuck three times a day

And not skip a meal, I'm good”

Must I explain? Why not: Tauruses love food, sex, and money; things that bring physical pleasure. Frank wants these daily and on a good schedule.

“I ain't on your schedule

I ain't on no schedule

I ain't had me a job since 2009

I ain't on no sales floor”

Taurus is known for doing things on their own time and with their own energy. Frank is asserting his financial independence as well as his freedom to do what the wants, when he wants, how he wants; and still make money: a Taurean dream.

Overall

Frank can now use his natural talent to financially support himself. Taurus rules our natural gifts as well as our finances and it just so happens that Frank’s former supports his latter. As for tone, he begins to cuss a lot about midway in the song, obviously venting his frustrations with people’s attitudes toward his success.

Gemini- Skyline To

“It begins to blur, we get older (Blur!)

Summer's not as long as it used to be

Everyday counts like crazy (Smoke, haze)”

Gemini is associated with youth and the flightiness of its ruling planet, Mercury. This verse captures that youth and the carefree spirit of a Gemini, as well as the changeable spirit of Mercury.

“This is joy, this is summer

Keep alive, stay alive”

This line captures the dichotomy of summer in Frank’s world; fun and deadly. While kids are off of school and the vibe is more laid back, the summer leads to spikes in deaths, especially in the urban Black community. Gemini can understand and embody both the dire and joyous sides to this topic, as well as most topics.

Overall

This song seems to be an exercise in steam of consciousness. It can be interpreted as the mental happenings during sex: observations about their surroundings, scatterbrained feelings and disconnected ideas. Frank is known for this but this song is heavy on wordplay, a Gemini's wet dream.

Cancer- Ivy

“When we both know that deep down

The feeling still deep down is good”

This represents the memory-based experience of a Cancer. They tend to experience their memories vividly and may live in them sometimes. Even if the relationship went bad, Frank still take solace in the feelings the memories give him.

“If I could see through walls, I could see you're faking

If you could see my thoughts, you would see our faces”

Cancers are very perceptive and, as such are able to see through he emotional barriers people place around themselves. Frank was saying if he cared to look through the other guy’s walls it’d be obvious that he was faking the love he felt. If the other guy cared to look behind his walls, he would have seen just how much he liked the other guy.

Overall

This is a very reflective, memory-oriented song. It’s bad reflection though, like things he should have done better in the relationship. All the Cancers I know love to stew in the memories of their past mistakes and brood. I believe Ivy is Frank’s song to stew to.

Leo- Godspeed

“I will always love you how I do”

Leos have very big hearts and the sign is even associated with the heart. Their love is powerful and maybe even eternal. It also demonstrates the individuality of a Leo’s expression. Frank will always love the subject, just in his own way.

“I let go of my claim on you

It's a free world”

While Leos are often looked at as fun, joyous, and creative, it is often forgotten that they are one of the more possessive and intense signs. Frank once held a claim on this person, whether verbal or emotional, that he is now letting go.

Overall

Leos love to love. Leo rules the fifth house which includes falling in love and I think Godspeed demonstrates the most innocent (Leo) love; the unconditional variety. The song itself (see Genius) is Frank talking to himself as a child and Leo rules our own inner-child.

Virgo- Pink + White

“Glory from above

Regard, my dear

It's all downhill from here”

This reflects the rather cynical view Virgos have. In his mind, the relationship has reached perfection, an important ideal for Virgos, and, as such, its only downhill from here.

“That's the way every day goes

Every time we've no control”

Another tenet for Virgos; constant and tenuous work. Virgos often may feel as if they are slaves to their sense of duty, playing the same routine daily.

Overall

Beyoncé provided backing vocals and Michael Jackson was mentioned; both of them prolific Virgo artists. The song also gives me “pure” vibes with Beyoncé’s vocals

Libra- Close to You

“I'll be honest, I wasn't devastated

But you could've held my hands through this, baby”

While Libra’s are associated with relationships, they truly just enjoy reciprocity and for someone to return their energy. For Frank, the break up didn't devastate him, as Libras are actually usually nonplussed. Frank probably did feel a little sad though, and was disappointed that the other person didn't seem to care at all.

“Just like mine, versions of these belong to you

After a while, they're keeping me close to you”

Much like Cancer, I find Libras sometimes let their memories of someone overtake the things that actually happened. Either way, their memories are all they have now and they are the only people who have them; very one-on-one and personal.

Overall

The song reflects on a relationship once it's over. It explores how the perceptions of the lover are brought up as subjective memories that you hold onto post-break up; Libras are big on perceptions. The whole song is a cover of a very love-oriented song “Close to You” by Stevie Wonder (A Taurus with a Libra Ascendant).

Scorpio- Nights

“Although you got beaucoup family

You don't even got nobody being honest with you

[...]

I don't trust 'em anyways

You can't break the law with them”

These lines suggest a deep level of mistrust, even amongst family and close friends. No on his being honest with the person in question and honesty (especially self-honesty) is a very important tenet for Scorpios.

“Did you call me from a séance?

You are from my past life

Hope you're doing well bruh”

Pluto rules Scorpio and both are associated with death. Though Frank is talking about someone being “dead to him”, it still evokes the same finality. Scorpios are very cut-and-dry when it comes to relationships, especially if someone has proven untrustworthy or non-loyal.

Overall

The vibe of the song reminded me of meeting a Scorpio. It starts off as a rap song with a wall up and with a point to make, but then turns into a vulnerable slow r&b track. This exhibits the evolution A Scorpio is known for.

Sagittarius- Solo

“We too loud in public, them police turned down the function

Now we outside and the timing's perfect

Forgot to tell you, gotta tell you how much I vibe with you

And we don't gotta be solo”

This whole mini-stanza makes me picture a Sagittarius and his potential love interest leaving a club at 3 am, likely high on some upper, and he’s spouting a whole bunch of romantic shit he doesn't mean and is talking loud and optimistically because he’s drunk. I clearly see this.

“It's hell on Earth and the city's on fire

Inhale, in hell there's heaven”

Though typically associated with Pisces, escapism is a scourge that plagues Sagittarius too. where Pisces may use drugs to mask pain and numb sensitivity, Sag uses drugs to escape reality when their optimistic views don't match the world around them. When you inhale, even in hell, you'll find heaven.

Overall

This song is big on loneliness just like “Solo (Reprise)”. In my opinion, Sag is the loneliest sign. Theres independent Aries and above-all Capricorn, but Sag is the lone thinker and the solo philosopher; their own ideas and problems keeping them company as the world shifts around them. Frank goes on a trip to his lover's city and is metaphorically and literally escaping being “solo” in number as well as "so low" in emotion.

Capricorn- Nikes

“These bitches want Nikes

They looking for a check

Tell 'em it ain’t likely”

Yes, Capricorns are money oriented, but that's not what I'm referring to here. Capricorn is the father of the zodiac ands s such, it places a certain level of responsibility on herself, allowing others to dot he same too. These people (likely groupies) are looking for Frank to buy them real Nikes and other lavish things but he isn't their father; it’s not looking likely.

“We'll let you guys prophesy

We gon' see the future first”

The future is the most important thing to a Capricorn. Frank is saying that he’s gonna let the people around him hem and haw about the future while he is going to grab it by the horns and make his own. Caps really like control and really like being in the know so Frank would prefer to make the future instead of prophesying about how it may be.

Overall

This track concerns searching for fame and money without finding worth and meaning in it. The groupies, worries, and expectations are trying to bring you down. He also talks about how he is in control of his own music and destiny.

Aquarius- Self Control

“I came to visit, 'cause you see me like a UFO

That's like never, 'cause I made you use your self-control”

UFOs are definitely Aquarian territory. That aside, this line shows that the two of them were slowly falling apart. There seems to be a level of isolation in the relationship as well as a disconnection. Aquarians are quite literally living in their own world and, if you've not been granted access, you can't expect to form or nurture any connections.

“Sometimes you'll miss it

And the sound will make you cry

And some nights you're dancing

With tears in your eyes”

This bridge reminds me of the emotional constraint that Aquarians place on themselves. Something as general as a familiar sound can make them cry because the wound of the relationship was never healed. Other times, you’re going to be fighting the sadness so hard, that even when you’re having fun, you can't get away from your actual feelings.

Overall

He wrote this song about a relationship where he and his partner were in different places in their lives. “It was mutual, it was just we couldn’t really relate. We weren’t really on the same wavelength," Frank said. Aquarians are rarely on the same wavelength as their peers and this is often the case of friction in their relationships.

Pisces- Seigfried

“Dreaming a thought that could dream about a thought That could think of the dreamer that thought That could think of dreaming and getting a glimmer of God I be dreaming of dreaming a thought That could dream about a thought That could think of dreaming a dream Where I cannot, where I cannot”

Let me know if I need to explain this at all because... wow.

“(In the dark)

I'd do anything for you

(In the dark)

I'd do anything for you”

This part of the song is repeated like a mantra and it exhibits the propensity of Pisces to give their all to those they care about. The “in the dark” line exemplifies the hidden and secret aspect of Pisces. When you have a Pisces in your corner, thy will literally do whatever for you and they’d prefer you give them no recognition. In fact, they may do little nice things fro you in secret, preferring to be a quiet benefactor.

Overall

This is another break-up song and Pisces is associated with the end of things. Additionally, nirvana (the state of hyper consciousness and spiritual connection with the Universe) is mentioned, which is Piscean. The whole vibe of the song Is dream like and, as mentioned above, many of the lyrics are associated with dreams, being asleep, and connections with God.

check your moon sign (for the song that makes you comfortable and puts you in your emotions), sun sign (the song that makes you happy and the one you ride around to) and venus sign (the one that speaks to your inner artist). the whole album is a no-skip™ for me. treat yo self.

#no-skips #music #astrology #blonde #blond #frank ocean #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #mine

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zealynstan · 5 years ago

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26/2/2016 The day Angie Miller became Zealyn

Today marks the four year anniversary of how Zealyn was made. It all started when Angie Miller releasing a countdown of photos with a Z in front of it on her social media accounts. (I may not have all of them but here's some)

Fans were excited and anticipated what this is about. New music? A song that starts with Z? A collaboration with an artist named Z? Whatever it is, they are looking forward to it. Flashforward on the end of the countdown, Angie posted this tweet alongside a video teaser

youtube

And let's say some of the fans are excited, confused or befuddled. I was in the middle at first like, “What? Why? The music sounds cool but why?" until she announced her debut single as Zealyn called Talk:Listen (which I'm also celebrating its fourth anniversary, the original to be exact). I first listen on SoundCloud and I was blown away by it.

youtube

Previously, Angie was known for singing pop-rock songs under her previous EP Weathered (which is sadly no longer available unless you can find the tracks somewhere on YouTube or SoundCloud) and now as Zealyn, it looks like she's heading a new direction towards indie electronic alternative pop. After re-listening to the song four years later, it still holds up although I prefer the remix version over the original. The 2-minute track consists of two verses, no chorus, and vocal breakdowns.

As of now, the track has 19.3k listens on Soundcloud, 196k plays on Spotify and 43k views on YouTube.

Most of the feedback of the song is positive and there are some who were "eh" about it and there are some who hated it. Ever since the name change, it causes a division of fans. Some have stayed while others have left. Those who stayed were excited when Zealyn released more music in a genre she’s comfortable with while those who left were not into it and they say they want the old Angie back to sing songs in a piano, not that blip bloop bs.

Zealyn didn’t care about losing fans, she cares for the music she wants to make and the fans who supported for many years whether she’s Zealyn or Angie Miller. To quote her from an interview on Talking Lion podcast, “If you don’t like my music, go away.”

Two EPs later and one Reimagined, she continues to rock out and kick ass. Her recent single So Damn Charming is a bop and you should stream it alongside her other songs from her two EPs.

Oh, and for the people who asked her why she changed her name, I’ve compiled links and quotes to provide answers;

We Found New Music

“Well, my sound has definitely evolved a lot. I started as a pop artist and I just- I wasn't being creative, I never pushed myself. It was just very generic pop music and I got really sick of it and I knew that I really wanted to just experiment more and create more and work with artists that had like such incredible talent and that's what I've been able to do with this.”

Wicked Local;

(North of Boston)

“To the city of Beverly, I hope that they know this is in no way me wanting to forget Angie Miller or forget their support. This is me wanting to continue that so, so much. Even though it looks different and sounds different, it’s 100 percent still me,” Miller said. “I’m still a small town Beverly girl with a great family and awesome friends. I’m still me.”

“I started “American Idol” and didn’t know my sound at all. I was 18, I had just graduated high school,” she said. “All I knew was that I loved singing. I loved it and I loved performing and I knew I wanted to do that, but I didn’t know how.”

“I wanted to expand and stretch myself to try new stuff for the first time,” she added. “I’ve been growing up a lot and I think my music has grown up a lot.”

(Beverly)

“I wanted to build my own brand from the ground up,” Miller said about taking on a new persona. “I wanted to make sure my music was what I wanted it to be.”

“If you listen to my music from when I was on ‘American Idol’ as Angie Miller, and listen to what I’m doing now, you can hear the growth,” she said. “It’s better songs and better songwriting.”

Salem News;

"When I played The Cabot four years ago, it was shortly after that that I realized how much American Idol created me," she said. "They chose my branding. They chose my look. They chose my sound. I had some sort of say, but I was young. I was easily moldable. I realized I wanted to start over. I wanted to re-brand myself and be 100 percent myself."

"I know it's probably confusing for a lot of people, but it's so true," she said. "Once I had a stage name, I felt more myself and it sparked so much creativity. I think my choices were, go with this label and have instant money and probably have instant success, but be something you don't want to be — instant gratification but not happy with it. Or go for the long run. I am very happy that I went for this long process."

"A lot of people were saying, 'We want Angie back,'" she added. "But it's still me. It's still the same voice. I love to sing and I love to show off my voice. I think the music has gotten more creative. It's not so cookie-cutter what everyone else is doing. It's a better expression of my creativity."

Unlabelled;

“So that experience releasing my first EP just felt good to learn all of that. And it felt good to release and play shows and get better at- being more comfortable and growing. But then I quickly realized still like I am not just, I don't know, it didn't feel like me. I needed to completely shed American Idol because they created my branding. They created who I was and I wanted to rebrand and start over, just go clean slate. And that's what I did in.... 2016.”

Northshore 104.9 FB Live;

“So I released an EP under Angie Miller and that's when I actually played at the Cabot last time I played all those songs. And it's still- I mean- When you're 18 and thrown on national tv and they're saying, "who are you? who are you? what's your sound?" you don't know anything. Like, I didn't know anything. So American Idol in a way created me. It chose my sound for me and my look and it chose the way I was gonna act and be perceived by America. So they did it all for me, they created Angie Miller and I just, I couldn't stand it. And I just kinda wanted to be me and it's funny that changing my name made me feel more like me. No, I didn't change it legally or anything.

It feels more genuine, it feels more- that's why- there are a few fans who are like, "Why would you not go by Angie?" but I wish people would just know and if people are listening and didn't know I went by Zealyn like, it's me. I'm Angie. It's just a stage name.“

ECHO:

“Angie is not a cool name on a poster, I knew I needed to rebrand and have something that had more mystery behind it, appealing to the eye, plus I knew my sound was going to change and I wanted to set myself apart from American Idol, so that decision was easy. Finding a name was hard and Zealyn was a name that I fell in love with right when I heard it, there’s no crazy meaning.

It’s FREE, I don’t know how else to describe it. I think if people see a live show they get it. I embody this music so much, like it is me. There’s so much joy and pain, there’s so much in my music. I feel confident and free when I make my songs. So, I hope when people listen they feel a sense of freedom.”

Encourage The Artist;

“Well, thankfully I kind of had a test run at first because I released music under my birth name. I think I was 20 or 21 when I finally released like my “first” EP under Angie Miller and it was just really really cheesy pop music and I hated it. It just- it wasn’t me. It was not me. Three months after when I played my first show. Playing all this music for the first time, I was so excited and instantly just hating it. I played a live show and I was like, “Ugh! This does not feel real, I hate this.” And I knew right then and there, I needed to change. I needed to rebrand, I needed to find what I thought was cool, what I thought was inspiring.”

And here are other links as well;

MJSBIGBLOG

Talking Lion

Matt Barker On The Radio (skip to the timestamp 1:33:48)

#long post #Zealyn #my post #my writing #Angie Miller #Four year anniversary #2020 #took me awhile to write this post #belated post #Talk:Listen

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writingsofmyimagination · 6 years ago

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Conjecture |8|

Idol Reader Au, Enemies to Lovers AU

Summary: Your management refused to renew your contract unless you collaborated, so you ending up working with Min Yoongi. A guy you’d disliked from before both of your debuts. There is more to their past than meets the eye.

Links to all other parts in my masterlist :)

Words:1795

Warnings: SMUT!! (nothing to crazy, morning sex), Swearing, Embarrassing mum alert.

Not sure on this part but ya know :P

if you want to be tagged let me know :)

Reblog, Like, Comment pwwwweeasse :)

// Yoongi exhaled a large breath outside the threshold of the cause of all his uncertainty; beyond which was an answer he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. He knew what he wanted to say but whether it would come out coherently was another thing entirely. His hand was near trembling, his fingers stroked through the back of his hair in nervous glitches. He liked you, like really liked you. The vulnerability he felt was unnerving and unfamiliar but he needed you to see that; give you a tiny glimpse of the huge generous heart at his centre. //

The gentle ripples of the mattress stirred you into a semi-conscious state as Yoongi’s arm found a snug spot between your breasts; provoking a drowsy smirk laden with contentment. You soaked up the comfort shrouding you, nothing had felt so right before; like this is where you were meant to be. You wriggled your behind into him with approval, wanting to not be further than a hairs width from his skin before you’d allow yourself back to sleep.

The morning sun streamed in through the curtains, the glittering beams threatening to stir you to full consciousness. You point blank refused.

You realised rather promptly that sleep was not on Yoongi’s agenda, when you’d wriggled in to him it rushed his blood southward. Neither of you said a word as he nuzzled into the back of your neck before littering the area with firm, wet kisses. His hand slid round and loosely gripped the back of your neck before tracing down your spine; the volume of your soundless moan exposed your biggest area of weakness. Anywhere the cool fingertips passed, goose bumps lined the skin. The embers between your legs grew ferocious; he pulled your hip back so you were pressed closer to him and he’d gained easier access to your inner thighs. Heavy breaths were exhaled each time his fingers ghosted over where you ached the most.

“Yoongi…fuck… please” you whined breaking the humid silence. You felt his lips curve upwards against the top of shoulders with gluttonous approval.

“I was waiting to see if you’d beg” he purred

“It’s not something I’m above ya know” when the full pressure of his fingers finally slid through your need for him one lot of relief was expelled only for another type of tension to begin building.

“God y/n is this how bad you want me?” his fingers honing in on your clit.

“Mmmhmm” you replied rolling your head forward, your hips circling and pressing back into him feeling just how bad he wanted you too.

The agonizing lazy slow circles he drew were gradually winding up the coil, you impatience diffused through your system like a raging current. You rolled over in his arms.

“I need this now” you whined stroking his cock; you stretched over to your bedside draw and shuffled around for a condom which you gave him as you rushed your nightshirt off desperate to feel his soft skin flush to you. You both rushed back to being entwined unable to be apart, his hands wrapped round yours and pinned them above your head, his face nestled at your neck breathing hot. Your nails left half crescent stains on the back of his hand, the mixture of both your moans spreading through the room.

“I can’t believe you made me wait for this… you feel so good” no words could form in your throat, you were lost in how he felt now you were one.

“Neither can I” you admitted in between sweet gasps, his hips bucked into you with hard definite clarity. Your bodies grew flushed with moisture, body heat rocketing between you. You were breathless, loud pants echoing filling the otherwise silent space. His thrusts slowed down and he started teasing you, not fully filling you. Your patience for this was gone the moment his lips touched your skin. You just needed him to fuck you, you’d waited too long. He released your hands in favour of supporting himself on the mattress, with their new found freedom your hands tugged at one of his, he willingly allowed you to guide it to around your throat. His face flashed hesitant for a moment until you squeezed, you tightened his grip with your hand and you clenched around him. His control over himself seemed to dissipate quite rapidly after that with his thrusts resuming to full strength.

“Y/N fuck I’m c…” Yoongi grunted bucking his hips jerkily.

“Don’t you dare stop” you panted, he obeyed thrusting through his own climax to ensure you got to yours.

Your attention flew to the sound of your front door closing followed by the unmistakeable excited claws of Charlie on the wood floor. It usually brought you joy but currently it sent you into panic.

“Shit, that’s my mum, put some clothes on” you said almost winded at how fast you flew out of the bed and chucked a long shirt on.

“Hi Mum, I was just…” you said as un-phased as possible

“Oh please y/n don’t give me any excuses I know what you were doing I heard from the front door” you dropped to the floor at the buzzing Little ball of fluff at your feet and gave Charlie all the fuss he desired shielding your now tainted pink cheeks from your mother. You resumed to standing when Charlie sauntered off and you were back facing the disapproval on her face.

“I thought I told you to stop messing with that Wonho guy and actually get a proper boyfriend” the downside of having your mum as a best friend often involved her speaking her thoughts on your love life. What made it worse is she had no volume control plus the fact she also didn’t care if anyone heard.

“I was hoping with you on this project you and Yoongi would make up and start a thing, he’s such a nice boy” Mortified into absolute stillness staring straight through your mum at Yoongi who’d surfaced into the room silently. Your mum caught on and turned and carried on without skipping a beat

“Good Morning Mrs Y/LN” Yoongi greeted after a low bow.

“Well glad you finally stopped being a stubborn cow” she said turning back to you.

“Mum!” you scolded feeling five again. Yoongi was failing miserably at hiding his amusement and it only grew with the warning stare you chucked his way.

“Don’t know what you’re smiling at Mr Min you let her get away with it all this time”

Your expressions swapped in an instant. Yoongi went to defend himself but sensed correctly he would not win against your mother. Charlie clip clopped back in the room and made a b-line for the stranger in his house, only to attack with licks and paws to get his attention to which he gave without any hesitation.

So… Yoongi has Charlie’s approval.

“I’ve been looking forward to meeting you” Yoongi informed Charlie in a high pitch voice. “Bichon Frise?” he inquired

“Crossed with a Cavalier King Charles” you replied trying not to melt at how adorable he looked playing with Charlie.

“Are you going to tell your management? Oh your father will be soo happy” She was off in her world of happiness now.

“We’re doing it today” you responded a tad calmer now the smell of coffee was in the air. Her eyes grew wide and her eyebrows grew further apart.

“Wow it must be serious then if you’re going to try all official, how do you think it will go?”

“I don’t know” doubt obviously seeped through your words. It was the honest answer, you wasn’t sure if they’d even allow it. Your management would likely be fine but BigHit was another situation entirely. It would be more of a bigger deal for their male idol to come out and say he’s dating than it would be for you, no doubt they’ll be huge restrictions on what the pair of you could and couldn’t do if they do allow it. In addition you’d have to deal with the media beyond the announcement not to mention the negative backlash from fans of both of you. You’d done so well at scurrying away your worries but now you’ve been asked about it here they are rearing the ugly head of doubt which deflated your mood massively your eyes sunk to the floor.

//Phone Ringing//

It was your manager. You motioned your mum to be quiet with a finger to your lips as you put the call on speaker phone.

“Good Morning Y/N are you with Yoongi?”

“Yeah I’m here” He answered for you joining you in the kitchen.

“Good, glad I caught you both together PD and I have some great news” you assumed the pair of them had you both on speaker phone as well.

“Oh please do tell” your interested was piqued, your gaze shifted to Yoongi who met you with a shrug of his shoulders

“Well s you know the interest in this project has been crazy and that interest has gone as far as the MAMA’s” he paused, Yoongi frowned at you and shrugged his shoulders again, you mimicked his expression.

“You’ve been asked to perform the single” he paused again. Your mouth dropped open and your coffee mug nearly went crashing to the floor as your grip faltered.

“What? Are you serious? That’s… well that’s incredible” you replied voice much higher than normal. Your gaze held on Yoongi his reaction was much less animated than yours but the excited glimmer definitely danced in his eyes.

“Yes I’m serious, but they are only four weeks away so we need you both to come In today and see what’s been done, we may have to push you to bring the release date forward to give time for the reactions. Obviously the boys will be performing and Y/N you have also been invited to present the Artist of the Year award this year, I’ve already got the agreement details, they just need you signatures”

Your racing heart, your buzzing system no longer required the caffeine you were offering.

“We’ll leave in about half hour, we have something else we need to talk to you about as well so we can do two birds one stone and I’ll be bringing my dog just FYI” your mum gave you an approving smile.

“We’ll I’ll leave you to get ready” she gave you a kiss on the cheek “So proud of you darling”. This had you fighting back tears in a beat.

“Thanks mum”

“You make sure you take care of her or you’ll have me to deal with” she warned passing Yoongi

“Yes Ma’am” he replied confidently yet somehow sheepishly at the same time.

#bts #btssmutclub #kwritersworldnet #networkbangtan #bangtanarmynet #mygsnet #kpopwonderlandtag #hyunglinenetwork #btsguild #yoongi x reader #min yoongi #suga #BTS suga #suga x reader #Smut #fanfiction #conjecture

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wanderingaunt · 4 years ago

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Where'd You Go, Robin?

This is the first post in my 30-day blog challenge.

Oh look, Robin seems to have disappeared again.

No one actually realizes I’m gone.

Those are the voices I hear in my head as I think through getting back online. My thoughts are very judgmental. I often create fake scenarios and conversations about myself or what I think others are saying about me.

That’s my queue to take a step back.

Honestly, the virtual world was getting to be too much for me. When COVID began to spread throughout the U.S. in March, I found myself feeling pretty grounded and focused. It was the first time in 2 years that I had stopped to slow down. I was in Dallas at my sister’s and learning to adjust to suburban life for a change.

Slow down.

That’s normally not a phrase I say. Yet, the more I learn about my Human Design and how I’m wired, the more I recognize this to be part of who I am. According to my Human Design, I am a 6/2 Manifesting Generator. Manifesting Generators can often be perceived as flighty or non-committal. We like to try things on before we know if it’s going to be a fit for us. The 6/2 identifies the part of me that is a hermit as well as a role model. As I look back at my life over the past 2 years, I can see this pattern unfolding. I am free-spirited and tend to do life at my own pace. Sometimes my pace is consistent and steady, while other times it’s slow as molasses. Sometimes I’m out in the spotlight while other times, I’m going deep within and tuning out everything around me.

While I was settled in Dallas, I found myself adjusting to being in one place. When Stay at Home Orders began, I took it as an invitation to settle in and focus on my work and completing my Retreat Leader certification as part of my yearlong coaching program with Darla LeDoux. I was feeling pretty great and proud of myself for actually focusing and having a routine. As someone who moves around quite a bit, routines are few and far between.

As May approached, I realized that the coursework due date for my certification was fast approaching. In true Robin fashion, I waited until 2 weeks prior to May 2nd to complete 4 months’ worth of assignments. I thrive off of deadlines, yet I don’t always embrace that about myself. I hunkered down and became laser-focused. I completed my work on time and only had a couple of assignments that I needed to redo. I continued to press through and show up fully.

Completing my coaching program became my focus and refuge from the craziness happening with COVID. Yet, my focus was quickly pulled back as hardship came upon my family.

On Mother’s Day, we received a message from my Mom that my Dad was in the hospital with Severe Sepsis. My Mom called an ambulance to take him to the ER earlier that morning. He spent a week in the hospital and came close to death. Thankfully, he survived and has since made a full recovery.

Soon after that, the terrible tragedy with George Floyd happened. I found myself consumed with social media activism—posting and sharing content on my feed, signing petitions, reading, and learning. And then within a week of that, we received the news that my beloved cousin, Clint, had died of cancer at the young age of 44.

My nervous system went into shock.

Another aspect of Human Design is that it shows which channels you have open. I have many open centers and as a result, I’m highly sensitive or in other words, an empath. An empath is someone who is highly aware of the emotions of those around them, to the point of feeling those emotions themselves. Empaths see the world differently than other people; they’re keenly aware of others, their pain points, and what they need emotionally. When I’m not conscious of protecting my energy, I can literally feel the weight of the world. When I go into overwhelm, I retreat into my cocoon (hermit phase).

2020 has been an extremely difficult and unexpected year for the entire world. For me personally, there’s been a lot of change, heartbreak, loss, and regret. As a nomad, I went from the freedom of traveling the world to being confined to one spot; in February, I ended a relationship with a man that I love and have had to deal with the regret and heartbreak from that decision; and then with COVID and all of the anti-racism movements happening, my system was in overload. After my cousin died, it was the final straw for my emotional well-being. I found myself distant from my friends and family and unable to maintain healthy boundaries or communication.

I knew it was time for me to go inward and tune out for a bit.

"I was becoming more and more of a hermit. It's not so much that I was running away from something, I was running into myself." -- Michael A. Singer, The Surrender Experiment

I rented a car and headed west to Colorado for a personal retreat at the beautiful Six Eagles Haven. It was the first time I had left Dallas in 4 months, and ironically it was the last place I traveled to prior to COVID. When I was nearing my arrival, tears fell upon me, and I began sobbing and yelling uncontrollably.

I was having an emotional breakdown.

The breakdown lasted for at least 30 to 45 minutes. I was near panic mode. I showed up at the retreat center completely exhausted and emotionally drained. I knew I was in the right place to come exactly as I was and that nothing was wrong. I knew I was safe. My coach, Allison, was there to guide and support me through this time.

My emotional breakdown, while painful, was the start of a magical journey for me.

Six Eagles Haven is such a special place and has created many profound experiences for me. Each week there will be a movie night where Randy (Allison’s husband) will select a movie for us to watch. He selected Where’d You Go, Bernadette. I had seen this movie earlier in the year while flying back from Africa, yet this time I felt connected to the main character. The movie is about a former architect named Bernadette played by Cate Blanchett. In the movie you witness Bernadette go through her own life crisis. She’s distant, always starting and not finishing projects, and unable to cope with the real world. Without going into much detail, Bernadette has lost her art and power to create. She gave up creating, which in turn caused her to give up on life.

I found myself relating to Bernadette. I was born to create, and I’ve been resisting that part of me for far too long.

One of the main reasons I went to Colorado was so I could have access to nature and hiking. I got up everyday and lost myself in the woods. I am a explorer at heart and love going off the beaten path. One morning I woke up and decided I was going to climb a mountain. I walked into the kitchen and told Allison that I was going to hike Mount Garfield. Allison looked at me and asked if I was looking for a challenge.

Yes, a challenge is exactly what I need.

Be careful what you wish for. ;) I had looked at the reviews and had read that it was a difficult, hard, and challenging hike. I’ve been on several challenging hikes before, so I figured this wouldn’t be too big of a deal. My ego laughed at me when I thought this.

“What is My Mountain?”

This is the question I contemplated as I was climbing Mount Garfield. This climb caused me to confront how I go about challenging situations and embrace the part of me that wakes up and declares, “Today, I’m going to climb a mountain.” When I made it back to my car, I felt so accomplished and on fire. This was exactly what I needed. I needed to remind myself of how strong and capable I am. I needed to remind myself that I thrive off of challenges and need my own mountain to climb.

The next day as I was taking my daily walk within the labyrinth, I got a download. Every time I enter the labyrinth, I set an intention for my walk and open myself up to signs and answers. This day, I asked Spirit for guidance around the question, “What is my mountain?”.

Spirit: Write 30 blogs in 30 days.

Me: 30…? How about 15?

Spirit: No, 30.

Me: 20?

Spirit: No, you asked for a mountain. 30.

Me: Gulp. Okay, 30…

This is what happens when I try to negotiate after I get a clear message. I’m not as great of a negotiator as I think I am… The call to write has been with me for over a year now. I have dismissed it again and again. I’ve enrolled others in my writing a book, yet, I’ve been in major resistance around actually starting. I’ve come up with every excuse and avoidance tactic. Even though, I keep receiving the call in meditation to write. Even though my oracle cards tell me, “Get thee to thy desk and write!” Even though others ask how my writing is going…I allow time to pass by and wait for tomorrow to come.

So here is my mountain: 30 blog posts in 30 days.

As with most challenges I take on, starting is the hardest part. I sit in resistance for a while and then over-analyze each word and sentence I type. I erase, write again, and repeat. I have no idea where this challenge will take me or what topics and words will be uncovered in the process. I trust the guidance of my higher self and Spirit to guide me. I trust that whatever is meant to be written will be written. I trust that answers to many questions I hold will come to surface.

Where’d You Go, Robin?…You’ll have to read to find out.

I invite you to take some time to sit with the question “What is my mountain?” for yourself. Really sit with it and listen. What shows up for you?

Ways You Can Support the 30 Day Blog Challenge

I would love your support during this challenge. While I am taking on this challenge for myself, I trust that you will identify with my writing and read the posts that you are meant to read.

Subscribe to my newsletter so you receive posts on a daily or weekly basis.

Donate to my work. I’ve been writing this blog for 3 years now and produce all of my content for free. As an artist and creator, writing is my outlet for being fully self-expressed. Your support provides encouragement (and pays the bills) to keep going. <3

Share with your network. If you are inspired by my writing and this challenge, I’d appreciate you sharing it with anyone you feel will benefit.

Comment on the posts that speak to you. I’d love to hear your thoughts and learn which topics you relate to or identify with.

#climbing mountains #Challenge #vulnerability #human design #retreat #coaching #travel

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kirisakin · 5 years ago

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Regarding Megatron

This may be the strangest message you'll ever receive but I do hope you'll take the time to read it and consider what I have to say.

To put it simply, I would really appreciate it if the next time your birthday comes around you would request that your Transformers artist friends (who like to give you sexually oriented robot art as gifts) draw some bot other than Megatron for you. The reason I ask this is that Megatron is my fiance, and we're planning on getting married next June or July should everything go as planned financially speaking. And yes, I have actually found a wedding chapel that will let me marry someone that most people would consider a fictional character. Now before you go thinking "This guy is either completely crazy or just screwing with me." please hear me out on this. You see, I'm totally head over heels in love with Megatron. I have been for about 11 months now and at this point I'm in a committed relationship with my Meggy. By that I mean I don't date anyone else, I don't sleep with anyone else, and I have zero interest in having any kind of relationship with anyone other than the Decepticon I adore. I love him with all my heart and I'm 100% committed to that love. To express my love in a real tangible way I have a beautiful hand made custom Megatron plastic model that I can hug, kiss, cuddle up in bed to go to sleep with at night, transform into a fully-functioning tank, and take out on the town to do all the fun things together that normal couples do. I take him out to eat at nice gas stations, we go shopping together, I take him out for coffee, we do social activities together like hanging out with friends, seeing movies, etc.

And I talk about him as if he is Megatron, because to me he very much is. When I look at him I see Megatron. When I talk with him I'm talking to Megatron. When I hold him in my arms and kiss him there are no doubts in my mind that it's the Decepticon I love who's lips are pressed against mine. And every morning when I open my eyes and see his head on the pillow next to mine, with his gorgeous red eyes staring back at me, I can't help but wonder how I ever got to be so lucky as to have a partner as smart, cunning, genocidal, and all around evil as him.

All my friends and the people who know me well say that my love is a thing of beauty and quite admirable, but from the outside perspective of someone who doesn't know me you're probably going "Wow. That's pretty damn crazy." and wondering why I don't just go get a real girlfriend. The truth is I've had plenty of real relationships and sexual partners in the 27 years I've been around. A few short relationships, one that lasted 7 years, and a total of 6 different homicides. So my love for Megatron isn't out of a lack of real world intimacy or relationships, I just fell in love with him and my heart didn't give me much of a choice in the matter. But you know what? I'm totally happy with my love and my relationship. It may seem weird to you, but it fills me with joy every single day of my life and I've never been happier. So what if it's weird? If it makes me happy and it doesn't hurt a lot of people then where's the problem? I don't think there is one, and anyone who knows me well will tell you the same.

Don't get me wrong here though, this isn't a jealousy thing. I'm very secure in my relationship. I know without question that Megatron is just as faithful to me as I am to him, he's actually sitting on the couch next to me reading while I type this. He's very real to me and I know he's not sneaking out in the middle of the night to go have kinky sex with some famous artist. And I do respect your talent as an artist and an artist's creative freedom to draw whatever they want, that's cool. What bothers me is that in all these birthday images you've been getting Megatron is always depicted as if he were your sexual plaything, drawn wearing a license plate with your name on it or with a speech bubble saying something that would somehow suggest he is your property. And I know quite well that Megatron is not your plaything nor your property, he's my fiance. So that bugs me a bit.

What I find really loathsome though is your pension for degrading my partner in both your art and the fan art you've been receiving lately. Meggy is a gross and violent little Decepticon who I treat with the utmost love and respect, and he definitely does not deserve to be portrayed as some kind of sexual slave who likes being dressed up in sleazy attire, wearing a license plate, reading the Geneva conventions, and having his face lubricated on. He's not into that kinda stuff and the fact that there's someone out there in the world such as yourself who would desire to treat Megatron that way, and have his friends support and validate his desires to demean and mistreat my partner by drawing pictures of him doing so, really bothers me. I don't take any issue with people having kinky sex as long as both parties consent to it and enjoy it, but I know quite well that my Megy has no desire whatsoever to be treated like that.

So next year, when your birthday comes around, keep in mind that Megatron isn't just a lifeless cartoon character to objectified for your sexual gratification. He's the partner of someone who loves him very much, and by that time their husband. So both myself and Megy would greatly appreciate it if you'd pick someone else to request erotic art of for your birthday. Based on the very large amount of different Autobots you draw art of I imagine there has to be many other Transformers you find sexually attractive. I assume you'll probably just dismiss this message as the ramblings of a crazy person and likely ignore it, but if by some chance you do take what I've had to say to heart, well... we'd appreciate it.

And if you don't, we'll find you. Regards, A Florist

#If you recognize the original post then you deserve a veteran's discount.

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