#but for a moment as I read this I was 15 again
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ola987 · 3 days ago
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Please Don’t Turn Blind Eye To Our lives, Our Hope Begins with You
Hello, I'm Ola, a graduate student from the faculty of science - Al-Azhar University in Gaza Palestine. I truly appreciate you taking a moment to read my story. As you reading my message, myself and my family, “my mother, father, three sisters, and my little brother,” are fighting death in northern Gaza and trying to survive under all kinds of suffering including but not limited to destruction, fear, and instability, starvation, thirst, and poverty.
Since 471 days until now, we have been struggling to get proper food after prices increased by 15 to 20 times, struggling to have clean water for use and drinking.
After a long and tiring effort, my Tumblr account @olasfamily has been disabled, and I have to start over. I feel sad and lost, but I don’t want to face this journey alone. I kindly ask you to share and support us; every donation and every share means a lot to me in this difficult time. Please don’t leave me to face this challenge on my own.
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I am writing to you as we struggle through very difficult conditions with winter approaching. The cold is becoming harsher by the day, and we lack the warm clothing needed to endure this freezing weather. We cannot afford to buy new clothes due to the steep rise in prices, and most of what we have is old and worn out.
We are longing to rebuild our shattered lives, and I can't do it without you. I need your support to complete my education and help my family rise from the ruins and find hope again.
You mean the world to us, now more than ever. Please, don’t let us down 💔
Please share and donate 🙏💔
My campaign has been vetted by:
@90-ghost here,
@northgazaupdates here,
@el-shab-hussein , and @nabulsi 's spreadsheet of vetted campaigns #205.
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sakuraryomen01 · 2 days ago
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Valentino /Sukuna Ryomen x Fem! Reader/ .12 [Tense, be warned]
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warnings: asshole sukuna, college prep. school (aka bitch u at an expensive ass school), former friends to lovers, slow burned love, yuji is sukuna's little brother, OOC Sukuna, a tense morning/ fight with sukuna (there r a lot of swapping povs in the first half i'm so sorry if it's confusing), y/n going on a date-ish with Nickolas, seeing yuji again, make-up attempt by sukuna, falling asleep together on the couch
reader: female reader; 23 years of age, college prep.
plot: It's been years since you've moved from country life, since you've forgotten about all the things you used to love about your hometown and where you grew up from... you didn't think it'd chase you to college in the city after almost a decade..
words: 8.222k
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fanfic masterlist: .o1 .o2 .o3 .o4 .o5 .o6 .o7 .o8 .o9 .10 .11 .12 .13 .14 .15 .16 .17 .18 .19 .20
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a/n: Hey guys, it's been a while huh? Sorry for the long ass break (literally been a year since I last wrote, I think) but I hope I can make it up to you! I'm currently working on some things in my personal life that I hope will go smoothly, but since it's been so long, I decided to come back!! I hope to finish my Valentino fanfiction sometime soon along with Tiger Twins and Sex Exercise! Thanks for waiting on me, I've just been so busy... @@;
. . .
Thank you for reading this! Enjoy!
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↞↞↞ ♡ ↠↠↠
Sukuna couldn’t remember much from the night before. Just some late night drinking, a few annoyed shouts in his dorm. And then blank. But, that didn’t explain what he was doing on someone else’s couch right now.
Your couch, specifically.
Not on it either, on the floor next to it. 
A cooking pot for curry or big stews rested next to his head. Smelling of vomit and the alcohol he had consumed prior to even making his way over to your place. His brow was covered in a cold sweat as he tried to move a few of his fingers, all of them asleep either under his warm cheek or on the carpet next to him.
What the fuck happened?
“Morning.”
Sukuna’s body ached at the meer tone of your voice, struggling just to roll over and see you standing over him. Hands on your hips, pj’s wrinkled and messy, hair done up in the messiest bun he’s ever seen before.
Competing even with a side hoe’s messy handlebar…
“You gonna eat breakfast or what?” You say, voice stern and annoyed. “I’m not going to wait for you all day, y’know? Got classes.”
“....what..?”
“Haa.. Say what again and you’ll end up outside.”
Now, while you seemed royally pissed off, Sukuna was surprised that you hadn’t kicked him out the moment he had… touched you. It was hard to really compute the situation from his spot on the floor, seeing as seeing the melons on your chest filled your top pretty good. Wonderful sight actually, he should probably stay on the floor.
“Up in five minutes.” With a stomp, you and your melons walked back into the kitchen. The smell of sizzling bacon, eggs and toast wafted throughout the dorm room. The warm aroma of waffles cooking in a fryer made Sukuna’s stomach churn.
From hunger or the hangover, he chose not to dwell on which.
Taking a good few minutes to actually sit up, clutching his veiny hand onto the couch’s seat for dear life, the fluffy haired punk took a good deep breath. His lungs filled with the sweet smell of a home cooked meal and instantly he began to drool. Salivating at what your cooking could possibly taste like. 
Probably bad, Sukuna thought to himself, eyes barely able to open.
“The omelet and waffles are ready!” The sounds of clinking silverware and plates followed made Sukuna’s stomach growl even louder. Pain developed from the intensity of the churning in his gut, forcing him to stand to his feet and trudge ever so slowly to the kitchen. 
The shuffling sound of his socks alerting you rather quickly to the ever nearing male that has entered into your dorm. His tall frame nearly towered over you, thankfully it wasn’t like Gojo. Spatula scraping against the skillet as you put four strips of thick bacon on the plates between the eggs, waffles and slabs of sausage patties. Both plates next to two large cups of OJ. Grease and grizzle dribbling down the sides of the meat and mixing with the oil from the skillet and egg.
“Grab one and sit,” You usher Sukuna over to the small coffee table, putting away the cooking supplies and grabbing your own plate. “I’m gonna put on some news.”
“Don’t put that on,” Sukuna retorts, following after you and resting himself on the couch with you. Muttering to himself as you flipped between channels, justifying that you only needed to see the weather for the next few days.
While it wasn’t what it used to be, the meal reminded Sukuna of back home. Days when you, him and Yuji would be waking up the morning after a sleepover at your house. The glaring but gentle glow of the sunlight pouring between the blankets of a poorly built fort by you with the help of your father.
Sukuna remembered the soft feeling of plush animals on his cheeks, the warmth of the rays beating down through the blanket that hung overhead. He remembered the feelings he had when he was young– how his head never felt like it sat right on his shoulders when he sat up, the way his chest ached when he looked down at your sleeping form. Always with your hair a mess and your face littered with wrinkle marks. 
That irritating throb he’d feel just by seeing you so calm and relaxed..
You were always the second one up, no matter which brother woke up first, you were always there to bug the other into an early wake. While your habits were always strange, Sukuna found them endearing. Following in your steps silently as you wandered about the large home you used to roam with your small hands clasped around a stuffed animal. The sight of small, yawning, eye rubbing you was too cute. Making Sukuna laugh to himself at how you contrasted during the day when you were full of energy; always wanting to talk to him about different flowers and the garden while he liked to annoy you with beetles he found.
I tell her to let go of the past and here I am reminiscing on it.
“Sukuna? Are you even listening to me?” You shout with your lips in a tight pout. Hair slowly falling from your frazzled bun, gracing across your shoulders and back. Sukuna’s maroon orbs trailed over your figure as his brows began to furrow. Strange, you did change a lot since your previous encounter.
Did you get a haircut recently? Maybe a new body wash.
“Sorry,” Sukuna replied with a flat tone, rubbing morning crust from his eyes and turning his attention to the television. Once displayed news was now playing some random sitcom, something you often watched back home with your folks. “I was thinking of something– it’s not important though.”
“You always think of something else when I’m talking to you!”
When you didn’t get a reply, you let out a strained sigh and continued scarfing down the remnants of your breakfast. Piling waffle, sausage and egg into a small sandwich-like bite, covered in syrup and butter. Like a starved animal you devoured every morsel that remained on your plate. Only stopping to take a sip from your cup of OJ every few minutes or so; it was a miracle that you hadn’t begun choking yet.
Surprisingly, Sukuna was taking his time to eat. Maybe he was too tired to be how he normally is around food: ravenous. 
After you had finished gorging on your meal, you stole a glance at your watch and stood abruptly face, startling the man on your couch. “What are you doing now?”
“I am gonna be late for my meet-up with Nick,” You start, hurrying to wash off the plate and fork in the kitchen, quickly drying your hands off on a rag. “We have to go over our project ideas again before finalizing one.”
Sukuna’s brow twitches up slightly, his gaze watching you as you rush around the apartment gathering your things. That Nickolas guy, right? Yeah.
Did you have to bring that guy up now?
“I’m busy eating, y’know?” He utters under his breath, currently chewing the length of a sausage link. Pressing his dark brows together in a mixture of a pout and glare. “Don’t try to ruin my appetite. Your food tastes good, for once.”
You let out a strained sigh as you make your way to the bedroom, grabbing your bag and shifting through your previous notes into a binder. Making sure to pack some additional pens, pencils and erasers coupled with some notepads. While normally you always rushed out to study, you were in a rather big hurry today.
To try and escape a talk about the previous night..
Last night flashed through your mind over and over. From the hot and steamy breaths to the harsh, yet gentle caresses across your body. It was hard to pretend, to ignore the events. Acting as if nothing happened between you both. Did he even remember what he did? With how wasted he was, you guessed not. How irritating.
“I don’t get him,” You mutter to yourself, pausing your movements. A million and one thoughts continued to flash through your mind. All that time, all his annoyance with you. Just to turn around and pull a crazy stunt like that. And for what? To lure you back in?
To make you think of only him? What kind of an idiot does he take you for?
After a few moments of pondering, you brushed it aside. No matter what you did now, Sukuna either didn’t want to talk to you, or pushed you away. What point was there in trying to rekindle something that he didn’t want in return? The thing you should’ve come to terms with long ago.
You finished packing your things before slinging your bag over your shoulder, heading into the living room to see Sukuna huddled over the sink. Washing the dirty dishes, scrubbing mindlessly at the sticky syrup on the plates and juice in the cups. It was an odd sight, and somehow sweet.
“Leaving?” He muttered, lifting a plate up to look over it. Voice low and unusually quiet compared to normal, it sent a shiver down your spine.
“Yes.”
The air became tense at the sound of plates clinking together in the dish holder. Running water turned from a constant stream to a pitter patter of droplets as Sukuna turned the sink’s knob, wiping his hands off on a small hand rag next to it.
“..Don't you,” Slipping a hand into his pocket, Sukuna let out a sharp grunt. His free hand coming up to scratch at his nape, disheveling already messy hair. “Don't you want to talk about.. it?”
“Not particularly.”
Shit, this is harder than he thought.
“I figured you'd wanted to, since you're always going on about wanting to talk to me. Not in the mood? Or is this new guy important now?”
The question was returned with a confused brow lift. “More important?” 
Sukuna never felt so frustrated and annoyed, even after such a good meal right in the morning as a hangover cure. He could tell something was just off. You were avoiding him, barely taking glances at him. Just focusing your eyes forward.
He didn’t understand what happened last night to get you to act like this with him, but frankly it’s irritating. Especially with how big this aching throb going on in his chest was. It was an odd feeling he hasn’t had for a while, and he couldn’t tell if it was just his regular annoyance with you or.. Something else.
“He’s not ‘more important’,” You say, shaking your head, squeezing the strap of your bag before turning to the door. “My education is and I’m trying my best.”
“Stop looking away from me!”
Before Sukuna could blink, his hand was wrapped around your wrist. Squeezing just enough for a numb throb to course through your hand. It was like a blur, one moment he was next to the kitchen counter and the next he was near toe to toe with your smaller frame. Eyes wide and brows furrowed, a small vein pumping across his jugular. Your expression only mirrored his, but with a mix of fear and befuddlement.
Don’t make that face with him.. He hates it.
“What’s gotten into you?” A mumble escaped your lips, your pretty little lips. The cute, plump flesh he’s imagined often recently. Along with your eyes, making him dizzy at how they’d roll like your hips; having him start to wonder what your dazed and blissed out look must’ve been–
 “Sukuna!”
Barely a flinch, just a quick blink of the eyes as his face relaxed, mirroring yours near perfectly. Taking in the moment, Sukuna looked down at his hand. The large, calloused palm and fingers grasped onto a smaller and delicate wrist. His own massive compared to yours, decorated with the black bands of his tattoo. So, so different you’ve become.
Without a word, Sukuna stepped closer. Refusing to release your wrist but instead letting his hand glide down to meet with yours. What was he doing? He doesn’t know. He thought he didn’t need you. He doesn’t. 
“Kid–”
“Don’t start with me!”
His marooned orbs lift from your connected hands, his fingers barely gripping onto yours. Why does he do this? It’s frustrating. Feeling his warm hands, how gentle they contrasted to the night before. How he’s behaving now to when you first reunited. The questions wouldn’t come out, the intensity only building brick by painful brick in your mind.
You can’t take this type of torture, this pain.
“I’ve had to deal with you since I first tried talking to you,” You start, feeling a burning sensation in your eyes, a sharp throb in your chest. Face downcast, your reddening eyes barely able to focus on the small connection between the both of you.
His hand reached for yours, holding your fingers like they were delicate porcelain unlike before. When he didn’t so much as let you care for him when he was sick. Reminding you constantly that every little kiss, gentle caress, it was an accident. That nothing he showed was true, pure.
The mere fact he came wobbling to your door the night before black-out drunk was proof enough that this was the same event all over again.
“You’re telling me not to get attached then turn around and kiss me! Tell me that it means nothing but you hold me close as if I’m going to run away from you! I can’t stand it, I can’t stand you.”
You could feel it, your heart tearing in two. The connection you craved was never there. It fizzled away like bubbles in a tub, gone after enjoyment for a little while. Too different to try, too different to change. If only you realized this sooner. It was only until you lifted your gaze to look up at him that you felt your tears dripping. You probably looked like some child having a fit, but it didn’t matter.
You were tired of it.
“All you’ve done is make me feel confused and upset,” It felt like venom saying these things. Poison. A poison meant to destroy your heart. So tense, it felt like it wasn’t beating at all despite its thunderous beat pumping in your ears. “I’m sick of feeling this. Before I knew you were here, it was easier. I was focused on more than my heart and how it felt all the time.”
“Brat.”
“I was able to pay attention in class, it didn’t feel draining being around people–!!”
“Y/n!”
In an attempt to pull you into his embrace, Sukuna grabbed your hand and brought you to his chest. Hooking his large arm around your nape to press your weeping face into his chest, to try and silence your cries. But you fought back, slipping your hand from his, breaking what little hope Sukuna desired to have between you. To think before he didn’t give even an ounce of a fuck when he first arrived.
That there was no care in the world before, but seeing you now. Seeing this hurt he’s caused, the shameful tears. It was enough to make him want to snap– to scream, to punch a hole through the wall –but he instead opted to bring you into his space. You coddle your head into his chest, trying to rub gentle and therapeutic circles with his thumb into your neck even at the awkward angle.
What does he do? What can he do?
He’s never felt so impulsed before, so inclined. It wasn’t in his nature to feel this petrified, this conflicted.
“Y/n, stop sobbing,” Sukuna muttered into your ear, trying to hold you in place as you continued to fight and squirm against his hold. “You don’t look as pretty when you cry like this.”
“I don’t care how I look to you!” You shot back, managing to push him away from your trembling form. Your hair became a mess before him. Looking more and more deranged by the second as you tried to calm yourself, failing all the while. “It’s not your place to look at me.”
A mix of surprise and shame fell across Sukuna’s brow, a clash against his annoyed gaze. You could tell he was unsure of what to do. He never was sure how to comfort someone, even you when you were a kid. His hands clenching and unclenching into fists be his sides, arms tensing with each flex of his muscles. His mind raced a thousand miles an hour at thoughts of what to say before they were fogged up by your hand on his jaw.
Yanking his face being pulled down to become eye level with you, your fingers digging into the meat of his cheek and forcing his lips to pout. Exposing a few of his teeth along with a sweat droplet on the side of his temple. He looked like a lost cub desperate for his momma to come save him.
Pathetic looking.
“I’m tired,” You repeated, your cheeks beginning to dry as the tears stopped. “I’m tired of the back and forth. Of embarrassing myself for you.”
Sukuna could see your mind begin to ease, to feel reassured with itself. The calm eyes despite the redness. It worried him. He had the right to worry, you wanted to let him go.
You released your grasp on his chin, his hand coming to rub at the pinkish imprints on his cheek, his gaze never leaving yours. Stuck in a stiff silence until you began to reorganize yourself, fixing your hair and wiping your eyes, your sniffles the only sound Sukuna could hear. “You don’t have to leave if you’re still feeling sick, but make sure to keep to yourself.”
Not another word was spared as you turned to the door, no glance back to see his expression as you opened the door like you’ve done before. Just a quiet exit of your home, leaving Sukuna and his muffled thoughts behind. While the ache in your chest was still present, there was no longer a weight on your shoulders. Letting you leave freely, to attempt to go back to your day to day.
Traversing down the hallway, looking for your phone in your pocket to call your classmate for a meet-up. To try and at least calm yourself before having to return to a, hopefully, empty dorm.
Sukuna was speechless, still, quiet.
Staring blankly at the door that blocked his sight from you, to chase after you. It was like an alarm in his head going off, feeling regret. Like the sting of bitter before the sweet, Sukuna wanted to run after you. Yet he stood in his spot, like a lost puppy waiting for his owner. Except it felt like it would be longer than a day, it’d be another 12 years before he could see you.
To see how you’d changed, to talk to you, to hold you in his arms.
Why didn’t he do that at first? Why was he so bitter before again?
“Brat..” He muttered to himself as if you’d hear it and come running back to him. How could he expect you to do that when he’s done nothing but blow you off that whole time. “Y/n.”
All those letters he sent, all of them with no responses. It seems so petty. He held onto that fact for so long, as if it was your fault. For trying to make a life for yourself, he held it on you. And now that he’s seen the extent of what he’s done, he’s left quiet in your home.
The muffle of the TV blasting some random show in the background to mix with the throbbing in his ears.
“..Don't.. leave again.”
↞↞↞ ♡ ↠↠↠
The soft hustle and bustle of the library was mind numbing.
It felt as if you were listening to music that wasn’t really playing, it was a hallucination of a melody. A sweet melody, one that you used to listen to but you didn’t know the name. Or if it was a meal you hadn’t eaten but you desired so bad, had no money to even afford to pay for it at a store you loved. Hard to pinpoint what feelings were swirling in your head, but they weren’t any good.
That’s why, when you heard the soft tap of your partner’s shoes and a small “hey” from behind you, your shoulders relaxed instantly.
“Whoa, are you okay?” Nickolas asked, his head tilted just enough to let a few strands of hair fall gracefully from his shoulder. His slight accent is like a sweet, honey contrast to Sukuna’s from that morning. “If you missed me so much you could’ve called.”
“Nick,” You mumble weakly, trying to hide the fact you had indeed missed him even though you met not so long ago. “It’d be rude of me to, especially when you’re busy.”
In the little time you had shared together you learned quite a lot about your new friend.
He was a part-time employee at his grandfather’s mechanic’s shop, though he did most of the work just to help as his real passion was cooking. Nickolas enjoyed making carne asada fries with sour cream and extra jalapeno on his lunch breaks at work whenever he had the chance. Not only did he love the good smells and the tasteful bites that came with cooking, he loved the math behind it, the science. Always thinking that his next meal could be a perfect equation each time, 
Pastries were a little harder for him, but Nick always loved a good challenge.
“I’m not so busy nowadays,” He said, interrupting your train of thought momentarily as he sat next to you. “Abuelo isn’t at the shop most of the time and I’m not allowed to run the place without him. He got sick.”
“Ah, sorry,” You reply, sitting up in your spot and bringing out your notes. “Is he gonna be okay?”
“Yeah, he’ll be fine. He just pushed himself a little too much one day and needs rest.”
You continued to catch up for a few minutes before Nickolas brought up the night before, leaving a bitter taste in your mouth at the mention of it, but you obliged. Telling him that Sukuna was still resting at your place with a hangover and to not worry too much, it was a common occurrence.
“I hope so,” Nickolas flipped a few pages in his notebook as his laptop sat, booting up for the next hour-long discussion about your shared upcoming project. “When I saw him, he looked pretty out of shape.”
“He’s always out of shape.”
Nickolas was surprised by the retort, quickly turning to scan your face. Instantly noting the frustrated look and red eyes once more. “Something happened, didn’t it.. Was it me?”
The quiet shake of your head worried him, but it’s not like he could pry all that much. He turned his attention from you to the books that were sprawled out in a manner of minutes for the project. All the notes, all the studying. It must’ve been draining for you. So, without a second thought, Nickolas lifted his books and began snapping them closed, much to your surprise.
“What are you doing?”
“We are going out, I’m not in the mood to study right now.”
He left you jaw dropped and mind fumbling for words: What?
Nickolas stood from his seat at the table and began doing the same to your notepads and pulling pencils away from your grasp. Placing your things in your bag and gently resting a soft hand on your shoulder to shake you, to bring you back from whatever land you were visiting and back to Earth.
“Let’s go out today,” He said, a smirk playing on his pierced lips. “I’m really hungry. Missed lunch because of my professor.”
“Uhm,” What were you going to say? No? It’s food. “Sure, let’s.. Let’s get something to eat.”
Nickolas finished packing your things rather quickly, leaving you stunned as you followed behind him out of the library. Walking past a few small groups of friends and lone students studying for classes, leaving the calm atmosphere into the bustling noise of the main entrance area. Brushing aside your confusion, you were actually glad deep down. A break from school, a break from Sukuna, a break in general.
It was a desire you never really got to enjoy since you were so busy trying to make the most of your parent’s sacrifices to even get you into the school.
“I will warn you, my tastes are on the extreme end,” Nickolas blurted, letting his bag hang from his shoulder and he lifted his hair. Tying it up into a tight bun while some loose strands rested behind his ears and some draped across his forehead. “Hope it’s not that big of a problem.”
“Not at all.”
The both of you continued to talk about food as you made your way to the parking lot, chattering like birds on a line about different kinds of BBQ shops that were nearby, along with a large buffet that you visited frequently. Right as you reach the lot, you see a familiar figure walking down the sidewalk with a bike at his side. 
Fluffy pink hair, a jersey hanging over his shoulder and noticeable scars under his bright honey eyes. It was Yuji.
Quickly he spotted you, a smile lifting the corners of his lips as he picked up his pace. Letting his hand temporarily leave its spot on one of the handles to wave at you. “Y/n! It’s been so long since I saw you!”
You could tell that he’s been working out recently, his arms and chest looked more toned than before. It made you giggle at the contrast of the brothers. One was a baby-faced sweetheart and the other was a really dickhead. Somehow, they continued to have similar builds and features (no matter how many tattoos Sukuna got).
In moments you were in his arms, his little teases and giggles echoing in your head as you caught up. Leaving Nickolas to get his motorcycle ready to ride, climbing onto the seat and starting up the engine. The roar of it alone sends vibrations into the concrete ground underneath the powerful machine. Its cold, black paint job was decorated with a silver ghost flame design and the rims shining bright to match. 
Yuji took no time to waste as he introduced himself to the rider, giving his same boyishly adorable smile as always. “I’m Itadori Yuji! Are you guys about to go somewhere?”
“Yeah,” Nickolas hummed, leaning forwards on the steering and letting his weight move the heavy machine beneath him slightly. “I’m about to get some BBQ and maybe.. Some boba.”
Yuji smiled even brighter (somehow even beating the sun) before turning his attention back to you. His face turned from real cheerful to a concerned look in seconds, reaching a hand up to trace the line of your jaw. “What’s wrong with your eyes? Tired?”
“Oh, I’m fine,” You mumble, brushing Yuji’s arm away, trying to force a soft smile that’d deter him from prying. But by the look on his face, Yuji wasn’t about to give up.
“I was going to come visit Sukuna for a bit to tell him about my classes, but clearly I need to talk to him about something else.”
“Yuji, really, it’s not that big of a deal.”
Clearly it wasn’t going to work talking Yuji down from a discussion with Sukuna, you eventually gave up. There was no fighting him, not like you really had planned to. You were done with fighting for now, it was draining.
“Other than that,” Yuji said, giving your hair a tussle before giving you a side hug. “I gotta go anyways, I’ll call you tonight once I’m home. They’re letting everyone out on holiday early since our semester tests were so high.”
“That’s good.”
You returned the hug with as much strength as you could muster, earning a back rub and a quick peck on the head. Yuji was gone just as soon as he had arrived, admitting that he was in fact about to run late for another class at the moment anyways and wishing he could join the both of you, before rushing off into the campus. Off to find his misbehaving brother– as he put it– and leaving you alone once again with your Economics partner.
“He’s a go-lucky kinda guy,” Nick’s voice rang from behind you, a smirk on his lips. “I’m assuming that’s your boyfriend or something?”
You pout, folding your arms over your coat. “I couldn’t imagine dating Yuji. He’s much too sweet.”
“I see.”
His hand lifted in offering, nodding to the small seat behind him. “Hop on, it’s gonna get dark before you know it.”
You take a second to glance back at the area Yuji disappeared to, not seeing him anywhere. He must’ve been in quite an actual hurry to disappear so fast. Looking away, you took Nick’s hand. His fingers holding onto yours in a warm squeeze, smooth and strong compared to Sukuna’s thick and rough ones. It was a change that you didn’t think you’d need.
Nick guided you behind him onto the bike, handing you his (much too big) helmet and pushing it down over your hair. He gave it a few pats and lifted the visor. “Make sure that’s on tight, okay? Don’t want a pretty thing like you falling off.”
Your cheeks deepened in color, thankfully it was covered by the helmet’s rim. After checking on your posture and a few things on his bike, Nickolas guided the wheels backwards. Turning ever so slightly to face the exit of the parking area, looking over his shoulder back at you with a smile.
“Might want to hold on, Y/n. Motor’s aren’t exactly a four wheeled tin can.”
There was some hesitation as your arms guided their way around his waist. Your cheeks continued to burn underneath the safety of the helmet, guarding your flustered expression from all eyes. There was a quick tap as Nick closed the visor for you and revved up the engine. Kicking off the bike and turning out to the street, leaving you to your own devices in the passenger seat.
Clinging onto his robust waist in a desperate attempt to keep yourself steady on the moving monster.
The sounds of traffic and the radio started to clash as he drove farther and farther away from campus. The lights dimming in the background as street lights and nearby signs started to fill your sight. In your chest you started to feel lighter, even if you were clinging onto Nickolas to calm yourself and stay steady, the feeling of relief started to wash over you.
You slowly started to lift your head as cars started to pass by you, taking a deep breath and resting your cheek on the driver’s shoulder. The smell of the city made you miss the scent of the Sticks, of your old home and the Willow Tree. Even the old barn that the elders of the village warned not to visit in fear of ‘evil spirits.’
The flashing lights contrasted the millions of stars that would shine so bright in the middle of night. Stars alone in the Sticks felt like a magic show to young you. Your mother had always teased and said that a bunch of fireflies flew too close to try and reach the moon and got stuck in the sky, leaving their lights to help guide others to it in their stead.
“Moths have gotten lost up there too,” She would say, laying next to you in your old backyard. Pointing to different formations that the lights made, giving you tickles and kisses all the while. “They think the moon is like a giant light, they want to be with it so bad they’re willing to fly up towards it no matter the cost.”
Your mind continued to wander, remembering random things you got to do while you were living in that small village. Trees that grew alongside the streets of the road could never quite grow as big as the Willow Tree either.
“There’s magic that keeps it so tall and proud,” Your father’s cool tone always hummed, letting you rest in his lap as he read you another book. “It doesn’t like wilting, even in winter.”
You always loved their stories and tales, and had fun making them with them. 
All the while Sukuna was there too, it was like bliss.
Although he was mostly brooding at his young age, he liked to play pranks on you and Yuji. Always chasing you around and messing with the family cat. Bringing presents for your parents and sitting to listen to the stories in the books they lent to you. 
He was so cute back then..
Compared to now, You thought to yourself, feeling the breeze begin to still as Nick made a turn. Pulling into a somewhat busy parking lot of a buffet restaurant. He’s a different kind.
“Alright, Y/n,” He said, parking in between a truck and some SUV a family must’ve owned before turning back to you. “We’re here.”
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Enchiladas, red beans, rice, and peppers sat on your plate. Warm, covered in cheese and sauce covering the food while Nickolas’s was different. It was carne asada fries, extra peppers and sour cream on the side. Obviously.
“Dig in, my stomach’s growling!” He chuckles, not wasting any time helping himself. Letting you giggle and mess with him about the way he eats, but only returning the jokes as you begin to eat.
It made you forget about the day, about the project, about everything. Letting your head relax and your brain go blank, it’s been so long since you’ve been able to. Getting to know each other more, talking about your favorite topics. You could’ve sworn that that morning was just a bad dream, a small dent in your day. And it was all thanks to Nickolas for trying to cheer you up. You were gonna have to repay him somehow over this, letting him see you in such a state was hard to recover, but it’ll work itself out.
“The food here is better than I thought,” You muffled through a mouthful, chewing quickly as if you were both in the middle of an eating competition. “I’ll have to ask Yuji if he’d like coming here.”
“Mgh, he looks like the type to eat anything as long as it’s good,” Nickolas responded, gulping down some water to combat the spice of the cheese, eating a morsel of bread before continuing his food shoveling.
“You’d be surprised, he’s really picky.”
You and Nickolas continued to talk and eat, standing to grab more food, talking the day away in that little buffet. Splurging and going to get dessert a few times until your stomachs were practically bloating with too much to carry. It was fun, exciting. It felt almost like how home felt.
Comforting.
“Are you sure we can get boba? I think I’ll vomit!”
“I want strawberry milk tea, Nick. Besides, you offered. It’d be really rude of me to pass up on free boba!”
“Who said it’d be free!?” Nick questioned, holding you by the hip and guiding you towards the restrooms. Offering his arm again as you stumbled all full of food and treats on the way so that you wouldn’t fall and make a fool of yourself. “I’m already paying for the buffet.”
“I’m just kidding, Nickolas! And I would rather split.”
Nickolas managed to get you to the women's restroom, holding you against the wall and waving a hand at you. Dismissing your attempts to pay with mock offence. “My abuelo taught me to pay and treat a woman right, I’d be going against everything I believe in!”
Despite how you wished to stay and continue arguing, Nick guided you into the bathroom and left. Promising to wait nearby for you so that you wouldn’t feel alone, but you saw through a crack in the door that he had pulled out his wallet and begun lifting some money from his pocket. You shook your head and waddled into the nearest open stall, locking the door to use the facilities.
Once you had finished, you heard your notification sound from your purse as you were washing your hands. It was from Yuji, and as promised, he had had a talk with his brother.
The reminder gave you a bit of a clenching in the jaw, but you were fine. You felt better, you were better. Maybe you’d approach the situation with fresh eyes.
↞↞↞ ♡ ↠↠↠
Yuji– 10:59am, Saturday: I got him to talk a lil, so be wary. He’s quiet too, what did u say to him?
You– 1:13pm, Saturday: I said some pretty rude things, I’ll apologize to him later.
Yuji– 1:20pm, Saturday: Don’t tell me the both of you have been fighting!! 😡
You– 1:23pm, Saturday: It was just the one fight, I promise. I’ll make it up with him when I’m home.
↞↞↞ ♡ ↠↠↠
You and Nickolas left the buffet, arms linked as you climbed back onto the motorcycle and made your way to a drive-by boba store. The day felt like a big blur from all the excitement. In between boba and the food you visited little gacha shops and comic stores, geeking out about idols and enjoying some other assorted snacks with each other. A drive that cleared your head and made you forget all about the worry and stress of the last few months.
Feeling more like it was a quick stop rather than a day on the town as you both continued down to this small park. It was clearly a park for small children and their parents, but in the evening, it was free range for anyone. 
The swings creaked from the slightest movement, putting you and Nickolas into a fit of giggles. 
“You got cream on your nose,” He says, reaching over and cleaning the messy cream off your face. Bringing his thumb to his lip and licking it clean, leaning back and washing it down with another sip of his drink. Looking up at the sky and gazing at the little stars that were visible, the rest hidden in the glow of the street lamps. “It’s pretty at night, isn’t it?”
“Mm,” You nod, resting your head against the metal chain and turning your gaze up to the sparkling dots in the sky. The memory of your mother flashed through your mind again, making you smile.
“My mom says that stars are fireflies that got stuck trying to reach the moon, or something like that.”
“Oh? My momma said they’re our family watching over us.”
The both of you hum at the sentimental meanings of the stars, reflecting and enjoying the growing cool of the evening breeze. It gave your arms goosebumps across your skin, making you rub them out of instinct. Your movements of course weren’t avoided from Nick’s eager eye. He placed his cup onto the ground and took off his jacket, wrapping it around your shoulders, patting your back absentmindedly.
“You should’ve told me you were cold,” he muttered, returning to his previous seat on the swing. Letting his heels push him back and forth in the rocky spot. “A small hoodie like yours isn’t gonna keep you warm and toasty, Y/n.”
“Haa, I was fine, Dad.”
“Your papa would say the same thing, no fighting about it.”
You let out a sigh, pulling the jacket over your shoulders and covering your body. The jacket was warm and it smelled nice, like an old cologne some rich business man would wear. Chanel? No, it can’t be that, he doesn’t look the type to use it.
As you pondered the scent, sniffing and nuzzling into its confines, Nickolas redid his bun. Tying up tighter than before so as to not let it blow loosely in the wind and blind you on the way home. His golden gaze moving from the stars to you. Watching you closely as you leaned against the swing’s tether, the jacket draping over you perfectly. It brought a smile to his face seeing you so content, so relaxed in his company.
Down right cute.
“We should head home, yeah?” He said after a while of admiring the area and chatting for another hour or so. Just as the sun went down and the moon was beginning to shine in the sky, you were guided yet again to the bike at the curb after you tossed the empty boba away. Helped up onto the back seat and joined seconds later by your partner.
You reach up, patting a gentle hand on his shoulder and resting your head on it. “Thanks for taking me out, Nickolas. It really helped me.”
There was a silence as the engine came to life once more, probably the last time of the night, before Nick turned to look back at you. His near glowing golden eyes shining with glee, “Not a problem, I’m happy to help any time.”
One final push away from the park and you were back off to campus for the night, and strangely you weren’t all that nervous to see Sukuna again. He had probably left the dormitory already, leaving things clean as they were before and back in his own. Trying to catch up and maybe take space he wanted after the fiery morning the both of you shared.
If he was there, by some wild chance, you’d try and talk to him. For Yuji, of course.
After a twenty or so minute drive, Nickolas parked his bike in the same place it was before. Hoping off the bike and turning to help you off. Letting his teases get the best of him and poking fun at your messy helmet hair, patting it down and rubbing his fingers gently through the strands before linking arms with you again.
Walking the sidewalk to the girl’s dorms, Nick had to hold you up as you had begun feeling tired. That, and you just weren’t used to the amount of attention he was giving you. Making your brain go into a foggy overload and wanting a good night’s rest to process it all.
Nick was forced to take you inside, getting odd whispers from your neighbors as he sheepishly tried to explain the situation only to be teased about it. The scene looked embarrassing enough, but you were indeed just sleepy, and Nickolas was going to go home right after.
“Alright, Y/n,” He says, taking his coat from around your shoulders. “I gotta go now, so go ahead and get some sleep. Try and relax your stomach tomorrow too, it’s stuffed from all the food we had.”
“It’s only ‘cuz you’re a glutton,” You teased, standing up on your own (with the help of the wall) and fitting your key in the slot of the door lock. Looking back at him, you flashed Nickolas a toothy grin. “We should do stuff like that more often, I think you’ve made me a glutton too!”
Nickolas chuckled at this, a pink tint on his cheek as he scratched at his nape. “Oh no, I guess I have to take responsibility for you now? What a shame.”
You both parted ways, giving good nights and best wishes as you entered your dorm and he turned to the hallway. Getting teased by your nosy neighbors along the way as he got to the exit, leaving you alone in your dorm with…
Sukuna?
You had turned once inside to see a big lump of blankets and pillows, that had belonged in your room originally, on the couch. Covering a snoring, messy pink haired mass, a stuffed animal barely poking out from under a large, banded tricep. The cute bunny face and ears distorted into a strange shape under the weight of Sukuna’s arm.
“You’re still here?” You asked his sleeping form, stepping over to the couch and taking a seat next to his stomach. Gazing down at him, reaching to brush your fingers across his scalp, tickling near his nape so much that he stirred in his sleep. “I thought you’d be gone by now.”
“..I only leave when I feel like it.”
You flinch, seeing Sukuna’s dark eyes begin to open. Peering up at you from underneath his arm, tired and cold. “You were out for a long time.”
“I was with Nickolas,” You start, returning the calm stare, furrowing your brows together before looking around the living area. Taking in the mass amount of things he has strewn about: more plushies that you kept near your bed, some little doodles on paper you saved for later projects, and some blankets mixed with pillows. “I thought I said to keep my place clean.”
“It’s clean, you’re imagining shit.”
The fight from that morning returned to your mind at the snippy comment, making you clench your jaw and rub the bridge of your nose, exhaling to let out the bite back. “Still, what are you doing here? Don’t you feel better?”
“...No.”
Well that was odd.
“Do you need ibuprofen? I have some Advil, I think.”
Sukuna’s head shook, messing his hair up even more. He was looking like a giant cat that just got denied good food or a cuddle with its owner. It was kind of a sweet sight to be witnessing. You let out a strained sigh and lean back against his stomach, hearing his grunt in compliance from underneath your weight.
“Was Yuji tough on you?”
“That lil’ shit should be lucky I even gave him an ear to listen to his moaning.”
“I take it you weren’t too happy then.”
A small silence followed as you both rested on the couch. Somehow, this moment reminded you of when he needed help home. How he was dazed, barely noticing what you were doing for him until he needed a shower. The way he lifted you into his bed for the night after the both of you bickered over where you’d be staying for the night. (While you would never admit it, you did like that night’s rest.)
Sukuna noticed your smile, the way it was so perfectly crooked.
“Why did you steal all my stuffed animals?” You asked, returning your gaze down to his level.
His eyes narrowed momentarily as he decided how to answer the question. Eventually he lifted his arm and pulled the stuffed bunny from his grasp, holding it out and staring at it. Sukuna didn’t utter a word as he messed with the plush stomach of the toy, letting out a soft murmur.
“I missed.. Your smell.”
You were caught off guard, brows rising at his response. Since when did he say things like that?
As you were left to ponder on what to do with the mess, Sukuna dropped the bunny and sat up, lifting the blankets that covered him and pulling you once again into his hold. You let out a small yelp and tried to fight back, but were too tired to really push him off or yell. So, as you were wrapped up in Sukuna’s leg, arm and the comforter, you took a deep breath.
Under the weight of Sukuna’s hold, your body started to register that sleep was imminent and slowly forced you into a dazed state.
“Y/n,” Sukuna muttered as you turned into him, pressing your face into his chest, letting your hands fall between your thighs to keep warmth. You murmured out a grunt while you got comfortable. 
While your eyes had closed, your snores starting to grow, Sukuna was left awake by himself. His arms coming to wrap around you as he had the doll, nuzzling his nose into the scalp of your hair and taking a deep breath, inhaling your scent, the scent he wanted close the whole day that he thought he could sub with a plush toy.
Shameful, needy– these are things he didn’t want to be.
He breath came out in a huff, brushing against the shell of your ear. “I want to work on my math tomorrow.”
“Sure.. jus’ wake up at a decent time.”
As sleep overtook you, you could barely register what was said. The warm embrace of the man you had hated from that morning being the one thing that made you feel most at ease in your sleep. It was strong, firm; made you feel as if you were on cloud nine. 
In mere moments you were asleep, cuddling into the same arms you wanted to be away from that morning. Deep down, you were still irritated with Sukuna. You didn’t want to hear out whatever excuse he wanted to spill, if one at all. But right now, you just wanted rest.
That day was probably the most calming day leading up to the Willow Tree trip.
↞↞↞ ♡ ↠↠↠
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a/n: holy shit was this a lonnnnggg time waiting and a longggg time writing!! i'm glad i'm finally getting back into the swing of things with my writing, I really hope you enjoyed reading all 8k of this chapter (longest chapter i've ever written to date!!) Seeing as it's been a while, I think my style has changed a lil so sorry it's a lil odd. anyways, thank you for the long asf wait but i hope you really liked this one! pls feel free to put suggestions in the comments and submissions! i also updated the taglist as best i could!
Chapter Song Theme: – Figure You Out -- VOILA (Lyric Video)
taglist: @mageyboo , @mzladyd , @mysticwonderlands , @sukunastoy , @sukunaspersonalfleshlight , @kawaiipenguin20 , @k-indie , @okkotsufav , @cafeinthemoon93 , @pulchritxde-blog , @bontensbunny , @deepinballs , @kleeboomed , @fiierytearzx , @wo-ming-bai , @instantgalaxysheep , @watyousayin , @z3r0art , @sukunaobsessed , @lik0 , @domainofmarie , @the-moongoddess , @dark-n-dirty-duchess , @agentdedf1sh , @sukunastoy , @lyn-soso , @bao-yu-sarah-morningstar-wang-9 , @heyitstacy , @lost-in-tokyo , @marksassybanana , @bozos-r-us , @p-3-4-ch , @misslauravillanueva , @chaoticqueen33 , @dxxny -loves-u , @l0tus-in-l0ve , @jiordeci , @opossum0-0 , @gumisgirl , @mommasbigd , @fallenlostarchives , @infinitivesearch, @t4ters, @n4muqr, @huuuhwhaat, @jiordeci, @chaeryred, @purplebee21, @hisheadismountfuji, @voyager1fan, @ichibaba, @brandydel, @berrylovesstuff, @whispersofbeskar, @dontcare1331
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a-d-nox · 2 days ago
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tarot hypothesis: major arcana and squid game player numbers
paid reading options: astrology menu & cartomancy menu
enjoy my work? help me continue creating by tipping on ko-fi or paypal. your support keeps the magic alive!
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067 (0+6+7 = 13 -> death)
has a very transformative experience while playing the games especially when playing marbles. unfortunate for her, she has an unforgettable death moment where she's dying from her internal wounds only for 218 to "unexpectedly" kill her before she could succumb to the wound. like the mourners in the card, 456 is so devastated by her death that it changes his outlook on the final game.
218 (2+1+8 = 11 -> justice)
is the first person to mention the voting process to leave the game on the show. also kindly let ali borrow money and his phone... despite the final rounds, he began the games with a level of fairness kept in mind.
101 (1+0+1 = 2 -> high priestess)
perfect definition of reversed high priestess energy, he shows time and time again that his is disconnected from his own intuition - he doesn't know who to trust outside or even inside the games. he also relies too heavily on others when it comes down to it...
456 (4+5+6 = 15 -> devil)
gi-hun is like the terminator he just keeps coming back for more - but seriously homeslice literally comes back to the worst place he has ever been and where he has faced his own addiction with games... also he tends to make the same mistakes over and over like trusting people he thinks he knows...
333 (3+3+3 = 9 -> hermit)
myung-gi is a cryptocurrency influencer... its virgo male coded... but also i would like to predict him dying in darkness or being alone in some fashion during the final season's games. if not that then, i believe 222 is going to leave him in the dust.
388 (3+8+8 = 19 -> sun)
tell me dae-ho doesn't have hella youngful energy? also of naivety??? the sun is explorer so either he is a VIP or he could escape (by mere luck)... OR, which i think is most likely, he will end up being somewhere he shouldn't be and be killed for it.
246 (2+4+6 = 12 -> hanged man)
martyr coded... we just knew he was gonna die... and it's a horribly sad story because his sick daughter is all alone now...
120 (1+2+0 = 3 -> empress)
GET IT GET IT GET IT!!! i am sorry WHAT that is so on the nose. a trans woman as the empress is crazy spot on. i love it!! i saw that and was like *GASP*!!! also *gasp* because its park sung-hoon
007 (0+0+7 = 7 -> chariot)
oof more reversal energy... that man hesitated so hard when it came to getting his mother in my opinion and he hesitated when voting too... not to mention the lack of impulse control that he has...
149 (1+4+9 = 14 -> temperance)
i have seen a lot of people saying that she is a VIP and i disagree especially if this matrix numerology is still spot in s3. she is definitely a "friend" and not a foe.
390 (3+9+0 = 12 -> hanged man)
another martyr coded person. he was set up so the audience would love him and feel like he was a good person only for him to get swept away by someone who he just knew too much about.
222 (2+2+2 = 6 -> lovers)
bro please hear me out... front man's wife died carrying their baby - what if his empathy and projection of his history on to her is what ends up saving her life?? he did make a few comments (no i don't think he just has human decency lol) about taking it easy and to be careful because she is pregnant...
044 (0+4+4 = 8 -> strength)
when i was watching the show i was like i don't see it - i get moon (18) energy vibes but not strength (8) then she had her mini meltdown and i was like there it is... there is the vulnerability under that mask of "faith" in fate.
125 (1+2+5 = 8 -> strength)
then on the other hand... this is an extremely vulnerable character with zero back bone seriously reversed energy...
230 (2+3+0 = 5 -> heirophant)
thanos - tell me that man's ritual was not popping a pill and getting out there in the game.
001 (0+0+1 = 1 -> magician)
OBVIOUSLY no one can trust anyone what equals 1. its a duh moment (even in the 8 show - which i may do next if this does well) - the magician is a creator when upright and a manipulator when reversed...
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castdust · 2 days ago
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⤷ wish that i could !
yn, a part-time barista, and daniela, a busy university student, have never crossed paths despite frequenting the same cafe. their schedules have always kept them apart--until finals season at ADMU forces daniela to adjust her routine. as late-night study sessions and caffeine cravings bring her to yn's shift.
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15. go! animo la salle! + semi-written (321 words)
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yn tried to push the unease away, the weight in her chest like a suffocating cloud. it had been there since the moment she’d sat back down after watching her friends perform, a creeping sense that someone was watching her. but she ignored it, focusing instead on the text messages lighting up her phone
the buzz of her phone in her pocket jolted her. she hesitated, dread pooling in her gut. pulling it out, her eyes caught two notifications: one from daniela and one from an unknown number.
her chest tightened as she opened daniela’s text first.
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a small, bittersweet smile tugged at her lips.
the other was from an unknown number. her heart dropped when she read the words
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her hands trembled as she set her phone down on her lap, but it was too late—her words were already etched into her mind. she closed her eyes, and images from the past year rushed back:
the screaming matches, the broken promises, the nights spent crying on cold bathroom tiles. the way she tore her apart and left her to piece herself together, alone.
how many times had she begged for things to change, only for her to push her further away? And yet here she was, begging her to come back.
the carefully constructed walls she’d spent a year building started to crumble, brick by agonizing brick. she clenched her fists, nails digging into her palms as she fought to ground herself, but it was useless. the crowd, the music, the warm lights—it all faded into the haunting echo of her past.
she stared at the message, her vision blurring. how dare she? after all this time, after everything, to waltz back in like they still had a place in her life?
her phone buzzed again. daniela. another sweet message. but it wasn’t enough to pull her from the abyss.
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.° ༘🎧⋆🖇₊˚ෆ masterlist next
taglist: @gtfoiydlyj @saysirhc @artrizzler19 @jellaaa @taikabui @spongebobtentacles @hwonnrinji @sunshinez4 @fillthwvoid
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vashti-lives · 2 months ago
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I recently read this xxxholic series on ao3 and I really wish I could leave a comment to the author and convey without sounding like a jerk that reading a very compelling well written story, then realizing that the sequel is a seemingly abandoned WIP right as the legal drug guys show up make it an even more authentically CLAMP like experience lol.
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koobiie · 11 months ago
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fanart for what may be my favorite fic of all time, Running Behind by @asidian! here's prompto enjoying all the foods from the fic beacuse he deserves it <3
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mabaris · 2 months ago
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I know it’s probably just my age and I’m Too Young To Possibly Get It and You Had To Be There but I’ve always kinda rolled my eyes whenever people talk about how joss whedon was some titan of nerd media and everyone loved his work
avengers came out when I was 13 and I thought that was. all right. at the time, everyone on the internet was nostalgic for firefly, so I watched that and found it extremely underwhelming, and wasn’t interested in seeking out more of that writing. but it is inescapable huh
#was gonna post this on my main but i have way more followers there and also what inspired this was#reading gaider’s post about alistair lol#yes we can in fact tell he was inspired by buffy#the part where he’s like ‘yea he’s persona non grata NOW but he used to be the shit’ citation needed lmao#and it’s always made me kinda roll my eyes#he’s fine. i like him as a character. but everywhere i go there’s been whedon worship#and now that he’s fallen out of grace people feel like they need to do penance for it#when i’ve. never understood it in the first place lol#obviously i’m one person and my opinions aren’t universal either but#i feel like everyone who talks about it is like ‘yeah he’s shitty BUT it’s good’#i guess you had to be there#but when i say i don’t like him now it sounds like im lying or just joining the people who are canceling him#hipster moment. i didn’t like him before it was cool#it’s just the writing style. i’ve talked about it a little before on my main#it’s especially insidious still in SFF novels bc once again. they’ve all seen buffy and firefly and#i remember my older sister liked angel but i’m p sure she had a crush on him#when will i finally be at the age where the things i grew up liking are the influence behind the Hot New Thing#i mean i know the issue is that the things i liked as a kid weren’t popular then either lmao#like i’m sorry but one man from 15 years ago cannot be the sole pillar of an entire genre#people need to diversify their influences and/or we need to let other people write stuff#honestly whedon’s style feels like he was going for american terry pratchett but it’s like. a little mean spirited about it#personal.txt
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herines-harasaeon · 1 year ago
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do not go north
**
@tbos-main
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olymphianblood · 6 months ago
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ok guys its not funny anymore when is d&p hard lauching im starting to getting anxious /hj
#this is mostly in jest bc idk if they will and im okay with that they do what they feel comfortable and their life is none of my business#but if they plan to. can they do it faster. had a moment rewatching BIG where it got to me... wow... theyve had something REALLY special#for 15 years huh. dan is finally living his truth and a life happier than before but during this journey he had phil at a such important#point of his life. they endured so much. and probably fucked up in between bc we humans arent perfect and thats ok we make mistakes even if#they might hurt the person we love but hey. they persevered and now are thriving even more than before#and i got so emotional like... dudes... i want to tell you both thru the means where is possible for me that im so proud and so happy#for you both and you work and your journey and for experiencing pure queer joy that all queer people deserve#BUT LIKE AS MUCH AS ALL OF IT IS OBVIOUS AND SERIOUSLY DONT EVEN NEED A VERBAL CONFIRMATION ITS CLEARLY AS ITS PRESENTED#IDK I FEEL LIKE THEY HARDLAUNCHING WOULD GIVE LIKE. A SENSE OF PERMISSION FOR ME.#LIKE HEY WERE CHOOSING OURSELVES TO TELL YOU THIS INFORMATION ABOUT OUR PRIVATE LIFE#AND NOW YOURE FREE TO TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE WE WANT TO HAVE A UPPERHAND ON THIS ON OUR PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIP#SO ITS A BOUNDARY FOR US AND FOR YOU#AND ILL BE LIKE THANK YOU FOR THE PERMISSION. SO HAPPY FOR YOU MARRIAGE OF 15 YEARS#idk guys im weird i genuinely just like to treat celebrities like theyre just another human being i find while i go on about my day#it even took me a while to read phan rpf fics not bc i thought it was like OOOO PROBLEMATIQUE but bc i felt genuinely guilty even tho i#joined the phan bandwagon back in the day#i only let myself joke nowadays bc theyre more open and comfortable with it and such so like... i allowed myself for that and the jokes#but still. o|-< i get embarassed sometimes just bc theyve not publicaly disclosed what ARE they NOW (outside of all the soulmate metaphors)#its not a them problem tho its a me problem im too empathic for no reason#ANYWAYS SORRY FOR YAPPING ON THE TAGS CAN YOU TELL I MANAGED TO BUY MY ADHD MEDS AGAIN#j.txt
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balconyswirls · 8 months ago
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#i don't like when a character feels like they're supposed to be relatable but i can't relate to them#like there was this normal setting of a 16 y/o girl going to school and she's the only main character other than her dad who is almost 50#so obviously she's going to be a fleshed out character#and she's in history class and her teacher's divorced#and the moment her teacher shows a hint of sadness the narrator is like 'she imagined mrs. sonso touching herself alone at night etc.'#and the description continues for like four lines#i read this book at 15 and again recently like 😭😭 i've personally never thought things like that about teachers it just feels invasive#or anyone else for the matter#and i don't like how the author's trying to be like 'look this is the mind of a 16 year old girl' and to a predominantly adult audience#it sucks that i'm thinking so much about it because it's literally a minor part of the book there are so many other more meaningful topics#i don't know what most people around my age think i'm completely in the dark apart from the things i read online and in books like these#i can't help but feel a little alone bc i know it's normal to let your mind wander i just don't think much about this sort of stuff at all#and i don't know if it's because i'm still young and i'll grow out of it one day but i've been waiting to grow out of it for a long time#idk i think it's not normal whenever i read intimate scenes by a certain point you'd think at very least i'd be desensitised#and i've tried but it's like every time i read it has an adverse effect on my mind#anyways...
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ghosts-of-love · 1 year ago
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yo anyone wanna come to a national trust place with me today? 🍁🍂
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acnara · 9 months ago
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I once again fear I have to remind ppl that Neville would have never been "the chosen one" because he, for one, would have had to be CHOSEN and he WASN'T. So he isn't, and could have NEVER been THE chosen one.
Point number 2: Harry the one and only person who could be the chosen one because A) as stated before, he is the only one who was CHOSEN by V and B) he is the only one with a mother that Snape would have ever stepped up to Voldemort for, giving said mother the chance to protect their kid in The way Lily did.
PLEASE let this rest I'm tired of people spitting the coldest takes known to man about The Prophecy goddamn
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bejeweledmp3 · 1 year ago
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tell me why i'm considering opening the doc and writing fanfiction during my lunch break. ON MY PHONE
#talking tag;#totp tag;#i've been meaning to make a tag for the fic so. there#ok if anyone is curious (probably not but like. i like talking about these things) i split the fic in sections in my head#so every ''kimberly finds her father in blah blah'' is a section and that's how i keep track of them#so chapter 1 had sections 1-3 and chapter 2 had sections 4-5#and chapter 3 will have sections 6-7. it has to. for structure reasons#but section 6 is a very important one and she's at like. 8.5k words at the moment???? and i still haven't gotten to the last scene#OF THE SECTION. THEN THERE'S ANOTHER SECTION#which should hopefully be shorter (around 5k or less is my guess) because fewer things happen but. god#we're looking at a 15+k word chapter. if you're reading the fic hopefully you like long chapters cause!!! it'll be a long one!!!!!#also i am once again pointing out that if you're reading the fic and have absolutely anything to say about it PLEASE tell me#i love talking about this fic she's my child that i created. she's like a clay sculpture to me#i do mean to reply to ao3 comments but i'm shy 😭😭😭😭 but i reread them all a billion times and cry about them every time#i'm still thinking about the lengend that dropped that page long comment on chapter one. king (gn) if you see this i love you#when i reply to comments yours will be first. know that you have me and nat's infinite love forever and always.#truly i hope you like it and cand find peace in it. lord knows we all need it#well. anyways! i think i might edit the doc i'll see
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moonsidesong · 2 years ago
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What are some of the smaller details about crush as a finished product that you tend to look back on? Smaller details maybe like how you ended up pushing a character in a different way than expected initially, or maybe some moments you realized you might have went out of character?
oh a character ending up way different than initially expected is an easy one. the way Three was portrayed at the start of the blog vs the ending is honestly a pretty stark difference that I think about sometimes.
I think at the start i hadnt given it a whole lot of thought so she really was just like, the personality type of "ooh im so brooding and edgy im like SHADOW from HEDGEHOG" but i think after a little while that sort of evolved into like... a genuine affection/soft spot for shadow the hedgehog (in a "comfort character" type of way), which eventually led to her having a love for the sonic franchise as a whole.
at the same time, when she and Four became more integrated into the blog, i didn't really want her to just be the one that just, like, everyone was intimidated by? so i ended up writing video games to be something Three and Four bonded over, and started to portray three as much more of a softie who cares about her friends more than she first appears to.
it wasn't long until those aspects just transformed Three into a very sweet and compassionate person that just had a somewhat blunt personality and a bit of a flat affect. the autism coding wasn't intentional at first i admit, but i was really conscious of it when people started to tell me they related to her personally or they reminded her of someone close to them.
three is very special to me and it makes me happy that so many people loved her too.
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un-pearable · 1 year ago
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my sincerest condolences. godspeed soldier
THANK YOU THEYRE DEARLY APPRECIATED
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sunny12th · 1 year ago
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Following your liveblog with extreme interest you're intriguing me to try to tackle this book again
Definitely give it another try, if the gore and violence doesn't upset you too much. It's a pretty great read imo. I love how distant the prose is, Bateman is watching the world through cold camera lense eyes, contrasting with how casual and personal certain moments feel. Bateman (and the readers) are so distant from the world but we are so close to Bateman. It's both distant and intimate and kinda hard to describe but it's definitely some of the best writing I've ever enjoyed. It's also a wildly scathing critique on consumerism, the upper class, etc. That's all pretty obvious but the way Ellis goes about it is really fun and unique.
I was frustrated at first with trying to keep all the characters in order in my head before I realized that all these characters are essentially the same formless creature to Bateman. None of them are unique or interesting, every person is equal in their sameness. Likewise, Bateman is constantly mistaken for other people. Even with his chaotic and violent inner world, he is the no different from every other yuppie on Wall Street.
This book is also just really funny imo. I want to read reviews and analysis of it because there's some references I don't totally understand, like why Les Misérables is constantly being brought up.
Anyways, yeah give it another try! I don't know if you need this warning but the book is absolutely more gorey and explicit than the film. There is a lot of explicitly described sexual violence, murder, etc. and racist slurs/racial violence as well.
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