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pesterloglog · 9 months

Text

Caliborn, Jake English

Act 6, page 5669-5682

undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering golgothasTerror [GT]

uu: DON'T DO IT.

GT: Do what now?

uu: WASTE YOUR TIME WITH THAT BITCH.

uu: YOU SHOULD THANK ME FOR DISTRACTING YOU. FROM INITIATING A POINTLESS CONVERSATION.

uu: WITH AN UGLY HOT WOMAN.

GT: Hey take that back roxys my good friend!

GT: Well ok take back all the parts that werent a compliment.

GT: Or wait. Is calling her hot a compliment or is that creepy?

GT: She is certainly pretty. But hearing it come from you sounds lecherous and dastardly!

uu: OH MY FUCK.

uu: SHUT UP.

GT: Heh. Its probably just my instincts as a brave boy kicking in.

GT: The old chivalry bone acting up you know? When i hear a ladys good name getting besmirched i just start seeing red!!!

uu: WOW.

uu: EVEN I THINK YOU SOUND LIKE A DOUCHE RIGHT NOW.

uu: BUT LOOK. JAKE HUMAN.

uu: I DIDN'T COME TO JEER YOU. UNTIL YOU DRIP THE WEIRD FACE WATER OUT OF YOUR SOCKETS.

uu: EVEN THOUGH IT SAYS I'M JEERING YOU AT THE TOP. JUST IGNORE THAT.

GT: Errr.

GT: Alright?

uu: I'M HERE ON A DIFFERENT KIND OF BUSINESS.

uu: I WAS HOPING WE COULD BE MORE "GENTLEMANLY" WITH EACH OTHER.

GT: Gentlemanly you say?

uu: YES.

uu: I EVEN LOOKED IT UP IN ONE OF YOUR EARTH DICTIONARIES TO MAKE ABSOLUTELY SURE I WAS USING THE WORD RIGHT.

uu: DID YOU KNOW. THERE DOES NOT EXIST A FEMALE EQUIVALENT OF THAT WORD?

uu: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BEING "GENTLEWOMANLY". I LOOKED THAT UP TOO. IT ISN'T THERE.

GT: It isnt?

uu: WELL OK.

uu: IT IS.

uu: BUT I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT'S A REAL WORD.

uu: IT'S TOTALLY MADE UP. AND DOESN'T BELONG THERE.

uu: YOU KNOW WHY IT'S PROBABLY IN THERE?

GT: Um...

uu: BECAUSE SOME SILLY BITCH PUT IT THERE.

uu: TRUST ME. THIS IS NOT A NOTION WHICH APPLIES TO THAT AWFUL GENDER.

uu: FEMALES ARE NOT BIOLOGICALLY EQUIPPED TO BEHAVE REASONABLY. AS PROVEN BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT. BY EMPIRICAL ASSERTION.

uu: THEY ARE VERY SHRILL AND INSANE AND DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE. THEIR EMOTIONS ARE OUT OF CONTROL AND THEIR FEELINGS NEVER SHUT UP.

uu: AND WORST OF ALL. GIRLS ARE VERY TRENCHANT TOWARD BOYS WHO WOULD KINDLY INFORM THEM OF THE WAY REALITY FUCKING WORKS.

uu: TALK ABOUT UNGRATEFUL. NO. THERE IS NOTHING WORTHWHILE TO BE GAINED. FROM CHATTING UP THE BITCHES.

uu: AS SUCH. IT IS MY SOLEMN BOYPLEDGE. THAT I WILL NEVER BOTHER SPEAKING WITH YOUR FOUL HUMAN STRUMPETS AGAIN.

GT: Your...

GT: Boypledge?

uu: THROUGH CAREFUL OBSERVATION OF YOUR PARTY. I HAVE DETERMINED THEY ARE BOTH USELESS. AND HOLDING YOU ALL BACK.

uu: ON THE OTHER HAND. BOTH OF YOUR MALE PLAYERS ARE PRETTY GOOD. THE OTHER GUY, AND HIS RED FLOATING MALE GHOST? THEY'RE SO STRONG. IT'S SO GREAT.

uu: I REALLY RESPECT THAT.

GT: Yeah. Dirk is a pretty tough cookie alright...

uu: YOU'RE NOT AS STRONG. BUT WHATEVER. YOU'RE ALRIGHT ANYWAY.

uu: LET'S FACE IT. COMPARED TO THE FECKLESS HOES. YOU'RE IN A CLASS OF YOUR OWN.

GT: But i thought you hated me!

GT: At least thats how i remember it when we last talked.

GT: Which was admittedly a while ago.

GT: Ive never been accused of having a photographic memory but i dont recall you typing in green either.

GT: Are you ripping me off bro??

uu: NO YOU FUCKING MORON.

uu: IF I STOOPED TO YOUR LEVEL. AND DECIDED TO JACK *ANY* PORTION OF YOUR SWAGGER.

uu: DON'T YOU THINK. YOU'D NEED TO EARN MY RESPECT FIRST???

GT: I dont think I understand.

uu: YES. EXACTLY.

uu: UNDERSTANDING IS WHAT I NOTICE YOU DON'T DO. AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE.

uu: THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT JAKE.

uu: IT IS WHY I HAVE TAKEN AN INTEREST IN YOU.

GT: Whys that?

uu: BECAUSE YOU'RE DUMB AS A BAG OF TEETH.

uu: I'VE CHECKED YOU OUT. FROM MANY DIFFERENT MONITORS.

uu: YOU ARE JUST. SPECTACULARLY UNINTELLIGENT.

GT: Hey!

uu: SETTLE DOWN. I WAS TRYING TO PAY YOU A COMPLIMENT.

GT: Oh. Whoops.

GT: Go on then.

uu: WHILE TO CASUAL OBSERVERS YOU MIGHT APPEAR. TOO STUPID TO KNOW HOW FAR PANTS ARE SUPPOSED TO GO DOWN YOUR LEGS.

uu: I KNOW THAT IT'S QUITE POSSIBLE. YOU ARE JUST MISUNDERSTOOD.

uu: IT IS POSSIBLE THAT YOU JUST HAVE A SPECIAL MIND.

uu: LIKE ME.

GT: You think so?

GT: Not to sound too self obsessed or anything but ive given that some thought.

GT: That maybe there is something special about me that nobody can understand. And maybe thats why i always seem to be botching things up the wazoo with my pals.

GT: Maybe thats why i feel like such a loner. I dunno. Im rambling and ive been thinking about it a lot lately. What about you?

GT: Does being special make you screw the pooch with your friends like it does for me?

uu: UGH. NO. I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS.

uu: FOR MY PEOPLE. THE WORD FOR FRIENDS. IS FLAWS.

GT: Wow really?

uu: PROBABLY NOT? BUT. IT SHOULD BE.

uu: BECAUSE IT'S TRUE. AS A MATTER OF MY PERFECT PHILOSOPHY ABOUT EVERYTHING.

uu: BUT THE FACT THAT YOU CLEARLY HATE YOUR FRIENDS. AND ARE READY TO SHED THEM LIKE THE DRY SKIN OF A SERPENT.

uu: INDICATES THAT WE SHARE A VERY SPECIAL QUALITY AMONG BROTHERLY BROS. WHO MUST WORK HARDER WITH OUR BRAINS THAN EVERYONE ELSE.

uu: SO WE MAY ACHIEVE BRUTAL SUPREMACY OVER THEM ALL.

GT: Haha. Well i wouldnt go that far. I love my friends!

GT: But i was once told i had a lot of potential.

GT: Supposedly thats how all pages are and it takes them for frickin EVER to reach it.

GT: And funnily enough it was a figment of my own subconscious that told me this. A part of my untapped potential itself! But disguised as my best bro which was...

GT: Peculiar to say the least.

GT: Is that your situation? Are you a page too?

uu: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

uu: HELL NO. BUT THANKS FOR THE LAUGH.

uu: MY CLASS IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOURS. IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY. EVEN THOUGH I JUST LAUGHED.

uu: MINE IS THE BEST OF ALL. WHILE YOURS IS FUCKING TRASH.

GT: Oh? Whats yours then?

uu: LORD.

GT: Fine then jeez.

GT: Sorry for asking!

uu: WHAT?

uu: NO.

uu: THAT WAS NOT A SHORT REMARK OF FRUSTRATION.

uu: IT WAS THE ANSWER DUMBASS.

GT: Oh.

uu: IT'S THE MASTER CLASS.

uu: DON'T YOU LOSERS DO ANY HOMEWORK ON THIS GAME.

uu: YOU'D THINK YOU WOULD ALL BE EXPERTS. WITH HOW MUCH MY SISTER HARANGUED YOU ON THIS TEDIOUS SHIT.

uu: SINCE I HAVE HAD GREAT SUCCESS SO FAR. IN PROGRESSING THROUGH THIS DEAD SESSION. I DECIDED. IT WAS TIME TO BITE THAT BULLET.

uu: AND RETURN HOME. TO RETRIEVE ALL OF HER TERRIBLE TEXTS ON THE SUBJECT OF THIS GAME. AND OF YOUR STORY.

uu: I HAVE PORED OVER EVERY NAUSEATING VERSE. IT HAS BEEN A TRUE EXERCISE IN AGONY. FEW COULD POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND MY SUFFERING.

uu: BUT THAT'S OK.

uu: BECAUSE I'M NOT THE IDIOT KID I USED TO BE. NOW I KNOW. THAT WHAT IT TAKES FOR ME TO LEARN AND GROW STRONGER.

uu: IS EXCRUCIATING EFFORT.

uu: SO I HAVE A CHOICE. WHICH IS TO EITHER BE WEAK.

uu: WHEN WEAKNESS IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE.

uu: OR TO SUFFER. FOREVER. UNTIL NO ONE ELSE EXISTS.

uu: WHO IS STRONGER THAN ME.

uu: AND THAT'S YOUR CHOICE TOO.

uu: PAGE HUMAN ENGLISH.

GT: Sakes alive.

GT: That is a bit extreme no?

uu: FOR YOU. PROBABLY EVEN MORE SO.

uu: BECAUSE AS A LOWLY PAGE. AND AS AN EVEN LOWLIER HUMAN. YOU ARE UTTERLY WORTHLESS.

uu: AND SO YOUR TRIALS I BELIEVE MUST INCLUDE. PROVING TO PARADOX SPACE THAT YOU EVEN DESERVE TO EXIST. IN THE FIRST PLACE.

uu: AND WHILE MY TRIALS WILL BE SIMILARLY GRUELING. A LORD'S WORTHINESS IS AT NO POINT EVER IN DOUBT.

uu: HIS NOBILITY IS MANIFEST. SUPREME MASTERY WAITS FOR HIM PATIENTLY. LIKE AN EMPTY THRONE UNDER HEAVY GUARD.

uu: REALITY ALREADY KNOWS I WILL PREVAIL. JUST AS IT KNEW I WOULD PREDOMINATE.

uu: AND SO INEVITABILITY IS ALWAYS ON MY SIDE.

uu: IT IS MY. WHAT DO YOU CALL IT.

uu: BORTHRIGHT?

uu: BORTHRIGHT.

GT: I dont think thats a word.

GT: But hey you are the lord and i am the lowly page.

uu: DAMN STRAIGHT.

uu: NEVER FORGET WHO YOU ARE MEANT TO SERVE.

GT: Now just a minute buddy. Lets not get carried away.

GT: I have no intention of serving you. In fact im not even sure why im still talking to you!

GT: Youre lucky that my manners are impeccable otherwise i would have blocked you already, what with the scandalous way you have characterized my ladyfriends alone.

GT: Its all well and good you think we have some things in common but i wont fall for it!

GT: Maybe its true at times i can be a little slow on the uptake but i will not be sweet talked into doing the bidding for a silver tongued cur!!!

GT: So to you sir lord i must say GOOD DAY.

uu: JAKE.

uu: YOU STUPID SHIT.

uu: HOW CAN YOU BE THIS DUMB.

uu: ALRIGHT. FIRST OF ALL. MY TONGUE IS NOT SILVER. THAT'S VERY CLOSE TO BEING INSULTING TO ME.

GT: Whatever! Look i know you are not the most quickwitted fella either, so i must inform you this is what we call a "figure of speech."

GT: You know. Like if i said you speak with a forked tongue. Not unlike LUCIFER HIMSELF!!!

uu: BUT. I ACTUALLY DO HAVE A FORKED TONGUE.

GT: Oh...

GT: Really?

uu: WAIT IS THAT SERIOUSLY AN INSULT IN YOUR CULTURE? HOW IS THAT INSULTING??

GT: It just means you arent trustworthy, and i should not be lulled by your false promises.

uu: WOW. OK. WOW.

uu: FIRST. NOT ONLY ARE YOU AN IMBECILE. YOU'RE A FUCKING RACIST TOO.

GT: No im not!

uu: JAKE. YOU JUST SAID SOME RACIST SHIT. END OF STORY.

uu: SECOND OF ALL. I'M NOT ASKING YOU FOR A DAMN THING.

uu: AS IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO OFFER ME AT ALL.

uu: THE VERY IDEA THAT YOU COULD IN ANY WAY IMPROVE MY EXISTENCE. IS ALMOST AS OFFENSIVE AS. YOUR FLAGRANT RACISM.

uu: THERE'S NO "DEAL WITH THE DEVIL" BULLSHIT GOING ON HERE.

uu: I'M OFFERING TO HELP YOU. STRICTLY AS A PRO BONO ARRANGEMENT.

uu: MY ASSISTANCE WILL BE. AN UNCONDITIONAL ACT OF BENEVIOLENCE.

GT: Dont you mean benevolence?

uu: NO.

GT: Um. Ok then.

GT: But why do you want to help me?

GT: Is it really just because you relate to me and therefore want me to succeed?

uu: LET'S NOT BE TOO SENTIMENTAL HERE. I MEAN. YEAH. I GUESS THERE'S OUR COMMON GROUND.

uu: BUT WHAT I'D REALLY LIKE TO DO. IS GROOM A WORTHY ADVERSARY.

uu: IF I HELP YOU REACH YOUR FULL POTENTIAL. AS A PAGE OF HOPE. YOU COULD BECOME EXTREMELY POWERFUL SOME DAY.

uu: MAYBE EVEN POWERFUL ENOUGH TO POSE A CHALLENGE TO ME. OR MAYBE EVEN ENOUGH TO BEAT ME.

uu: WHEN I SAID "MEANT TO SERVE". SERVE MEANT MORE THAN ONE THING. YOU KNOW. LIKE KICK MY ASS??

uu: WOULDN'T YOU LIKE THAT JAKE? DON'T YOU LIKE TO ROUGHHOUSE?

uu: OR MAYBE I HAD YOU WRONG. MAYBE YOU ARE IN FACT A GIRLY MAN. WHO DOES NOT LIKE TO ROUGHHOUSE.

GT: Hey watch it now. Youre DARN TOOTIN i love to roughhouse!!!

uu: EXCELLENT.

uu: THEN OUR COMMITMENT IS SEALED. I WILL HELP YOU REACH YOUR TRUE POTENTIAL.

uu: LET US MARK THIS PLEDGE. WITH A SPECIAL NEW DESKTOP WALLPAPER I HAVE DRAWN FOR YOU.

GT: Huh??

uu: IT IS HOW I ENVISION THE IDEALIZED DEPICTION. OF OUR COLLABORATIVE BROSMANSHIP.

uu: I HAVE BEEN GETTING SO MUCH BETTER LATELY. WITH A LOT OF HARD WORK AS USUAL.

uu: I AM ABLE TO BRING THE MANY SMALL ANGLES MOSTLY UNDER CONTROL. TO SIMULATE THE ILLUSION. OF PHOTO REALISTIC FORMS OF COLOR AND LIGHT.

uu: JAKE. I GIVE YOU.

uu: THE FINE ARTS:

uu: http://tinyurl.com/JAKETHISISUS

GT: Whoa.

GT: Thats uh.

GT: Mighty special.

uu: GO ON. APPLY IT TO YOUR DEVICE.

uu: I WILL WAIT.

GT: Yeah um.

GT: Maybe later?

uu: NO. DO IT NOW.

GT: I dont think i want it to be honest.

GT: No offense its actually just really shitty.

uu: APPLY THE WALLPAPER THIS FUCKING INSTANT YOU CRETINOUS PHILISTINE. OR THE DEAL'S OFF.

GT: Ok fine!

GT: Gad freaking zooks. Just what i need another pushy bro in my life.

GT: This secret training of yours better be worth it!

uu: IT'S NOT TRAINING.

uu: IT'S JUST SOME GUIDANCE FROM A FAR AWAY ALIEN.

uu: I WILL BE YOUR PATRON TROLL. THAT'S LIKE THIS WHOLE THING IN YOUR STORY. HAVING A PATRON TROLL.

GT: But i thought you werent a troll.

uu: OF COURSE I'M NOT A TROLL. TROLLS ARE A KIND OF PESTILENT VERMIN AND THEY SHOULD ALL SUFFER AND DIE.

uu: "PATRON TROLL" IS JUST A PHRASE TO HELP YOU UNDERSTAND.

GT: Its not helping me understand though.

GT: Shoudlnt you be a patron cherub if anything?

uu: NO. GOD. DON'T MAKE UP TERMS FOR WHAT I AM. I WILL DO THAT.

uu: I WILL JUST BE YOUR PATRON DUDE.

uu: OR MAYBE. YOUR PATRON MANBRO.

GT: Sounds pretty gay.

uu: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

GT: Whats what?

uu: GAY. WHAT'S GAY YOU IDIOT FUCK.

GT: Oh right.

GT: Forgive me i forget you arent familiar with all of my earth lingo.

GT: Its like...

GT: How do i explain.

GT: You know. Its a rather old fashioned term for being jolly and festive together.

GT: Like "that rollicking time we had scrumming the other eve sure was gay."

uu: I SEE.

uu: THEN YES. YOU ARE CORRECT.

uu: THIS IS GOING TO BE GAY AS HELL.

GT: Oh goody. Just the way i like my hijinks!

GT: So how do we start.

uu: THERE'S NOT MUCH TO THIS.

uu: I JUST TELL YOU SOME SHIT TO DO. AND THEN YOU DO IT.

uu: AND THE ULTIMATE DUMBNESS OF IT ALL IS. YOU PROBABLY WERE GOING TO DO A LOT OF IT ANYWAY.

GT: I was?

GT: How was i going to do the stuff if you didnt tell me to?

GT: You mean i was going to do it like on accident?

uu: NO. THE THING IS. I THINK I WAS ALWAYS GOING TO TELL YOU.

GT: I dont understand.

uu: NEITHER DO I.

GT: Ok then.

GT: Im glad we settled that.

uu: BUT I KIND OF GET IT ON SOME LEVEL.

uu: AS A LORD OF TIME. I THINK I'M GOING TO MASTER TIME. NOT WITH MY BRAIN. WHICH WOULD BE TOO HARD. BUT WITH MY INSTINCTS.

uu: LIKE IN A WAY THAT WORKS WITH MY NATURAL IMPULSES. SUCH AS MY AMBITION. MY WILL TO COMMIT MAYHEM. MY DESIRE TO PUNISH THOSE I DESPISE.

uu: SO IF I WANT YOU TO BECOME STRONG. SO YOU CAN CHALLENGE ME LATER. AND I SEE EVIDENCE. THAT YOU PROBABLY BECOME SUCCESSFUL.

uu: I THINK TO MYSELF. WHY SHOULDN'T I BE THE ONE TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN? IF IT'S GOING TO ANYWAY.

uu: I THINK PART OF MY PERSONAL QUEST. IS TO BECOME AT EASE WITH THE FORCES OF INEVITABILITY.

uu: INEVITABILITY THAT ALL THINGS SHOULD AND WILL FALL IN MY FAVOR. THAT ALL CAUSALITY ANSWERS TO ME. AND THAT ALL OUTCOMES NOT ONLY SERVE ME. BUT CONSIST OF MY BEING.

uu: SO I FEEL THAT. THE MORE I GROW IN POWER.

uu: THE MORE STUFF IT SHOULD TURN OUT I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR.

uu: UP TO AND INCLUDING. EVERYTHING THAT EVER HAPPENS.

uu: EVEN IF IT HAS TO BE.

uu: RETROACTIVELY.

GT: Hmmmmm...

GT: Nope!

GT: Dont reckon i understand much of that either.

GT: But i guess im not supposed to. Me not being a time maestro or what have you.

GT: I guess i should be boning up on hope though. What can you tell me about that?

uu: I DON'T KNOW A FUCKING THING ABOUT HOPE.

uu: IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A FORCE OF "UNPARALLELED POWER". BUT REALLY. IT SOUNDS SO LAME.

uu: BUT I GUESS THAT'S WHY IT MAKES SENSE THAT IT'S YOUR ASPECT.

uu: YOU STRIKE ME AS A GUY WHO IS LAME ENOUGH. TO HOPE SOMEONE TO DEATH. SO WHY DON'T YOU TELL *ME* ABOUT IT??

GT: Tell you about hope?

GT: Um well its something i think everyone should have in their hearts.

uu: I KNEW IT. YOU JUST SAID.

uu: THE LAMEST POSSIBLE THING.

GT: But i wasnt finished!

uu: FUCK.

GT: Hope to me is all about believing in stuff.

GT: If you believe in stuff then everything feels like its going to turn out ok.

GT: And if you believe in stuff with enough gusto i dare say it imbues that stuff with a pinch more chutzpah. Even the fake stuff!

GT: And then if you keep an open mind and adventurous spirit, that chutzpah flows directly into your heart, and thats when YOU have the power.

GT: So i think if hope grants one the power to smite villainy and vanquish hooligans thats probably where it comes from!

uu: NO.

uu: OH GOD. NO.

uu: THAT IS ACTUALLY THE WORST THING I'VE EVER READ.

uu: THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT.

GT: Well THERES your problem dude. You dont want to BELIEVE!

GT: Just let go and believe in things. Then youll find you had the power in you all along.

uu: YOU ARE SO DUMB. I JUST KEEP CAN'T BELIEVING IT. HOW TRULY STUPID YOU ARE.

uu: WHATEVER. FORGET I ASKED.

uu: I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND OUT WHAT HOPE IS REALLY ABOUT. INSTEAD OF THAT INSIPID BULLSHIT.

uu: ONCE YOU BECOME A GOD TIER.

GT: How do i do that?

uu: YOU GO TO PROSPIT. GET ON YOUR QUEST SARSWAPAGUS. AND FUCKING DIE.

GT: Die???

uu: YEAH. YOU OFF YOURSELF WITHOUT HESITATION.

uu: OR FAILING THAT. DUE TO PATHETIC COWARDICE.

uu: YOU WAIT AROUND TO BE SLAIN SERENDIPITOUSLY.

uu: DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I HAVE ALL THIS UNDER CONTROL.

uu: IT'S ONE OF THE WAYS I'M HELPING YOU TO THE TOP.

GT: Ok then. I will choose to believe you.

GT: See what i did there? I just scored a few more hope points!

GT: By strengthening my trust in you as well as our burgeoning friendship.

GT: Oh also, friendship is a HUGE key to being good at hope. I forgot to mention that.

uu: GROAN.

uu: I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL YOU CHALLENGE ME.

uu: SO I CAN BEAT YOU SENSELESS WITH MY CANE.

GT: Me neither!

GT: So you say you will help me be a god tier...

GT: But there are other ways you will help too?

uu: YES.

uu: I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU A GIFT.

uu: IT IS MY JUJU.

GT: Neat!

GT: But what the bejesus is a juju?

uu: I REALLY FIND IT HARD. TO COMPREHEND WHAT SORT OF ASSHOLE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT A JUJU IS.

uu: BUT SINCE I AM YOUR PATRON MANBRO. I WILL PUT ASIDE THOSE FEELINGS. AND ATTEMPT TO BE A LITTLE MORE GAY.

GT: That would be hunky dory.

GT: In my view distinguished gentlemen should always strive to be as gay as possible with each other.

uu: AMEN TO FUCKING THAT.

uu: ANYWAY. A JUJU IS A MAGICAL THING. IT HAS NO REAL BEGINNING OR END.

uu: THEY'RE JUST ALWAYS AROUND. THERE FOR YOU.

uu: YOU GROW UP WITH THEM. AND THEY BRING YOU COMFORT. AND YOU NEVER QUESTION THEIR EXISTENCE.

uu: IT'S LIKE SOME OF THE SHIT YOU HAD IN YOUR ROOM AS A KID. EXCEPT NOT USELESS GARBAGE. AND MORE MAGICAL.

uu: THEY ALWAYS HAVE RULES. AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE OWNERS.

uu: YOU CAN TAKE SOMEONE'S JUJU. IF THE OWNER WAS KILLED.

uu: OR IF HE GIVES IT TO YOU FREELY. LIKE I'M DOING.

uu: SO I WILL GIVE YOU THE CODE TO MAKE IT YOURSELF.

uu: ONCE YOU DO. IT SHOULD DISAPPEAR FROM MY CHEST. AND IT WILL NO LONGER BE MINE.

GT: Sounds straight forward enough.

GT: Whats the code?

uu: IT IS:

uu: uROBuROS

uu: BE CAREFUL. THAT IS CASE SENSITIVE.

GT: Ok.

uu: I WOULD TELL YOU THE CODE FOR MY SISTER'S JUJU. BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.

uu: A WHILE AGO I WENT TO GET HER JUJU. BUT THE FUCKING THING WAS GONE ALREADY.

uu: I THINK THE CRAFTY BITCH ALREADY GAVE IT AWAY.

GT: Hmm.

GT: We could try to guess it maybe?

uu: FORGET IT. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE PROBABLY INFINITE.

GT: Yeah. Youre probably right.

GT: So what sort of magical properties does your juju have?

uu: I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT DOES.

uu: I HAVE NEVER TRIED IT. BECAUSE IT WAS TOO PRECIOUS TO ME.

uu: WHATEVER MINE DOES. MY SISTER'S PROBABLY DOES THE OPPOSITE THING.

uu: BUT WHAT THEY DO INDIVIDUALLY. PALES IN COMPARISON TO WHAT THEY CAN DO TOGETHER.

uu: WHEN COMBINED. THE JUJUS BECOME THE MOST MAGIC THING EVER.

uu: THEY CAN MAKE ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE. AND EVERYTHING THAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN. WILL MAGICALLY FALL INTO PLACE.

GT: Really?

GT: That sounds almost too good to be true.

GT: If you dont even know what your juju does by itself why do you think they do that together?

uu: BECAUSE I BELIEVE IT WITH ALL MY FUCKING HEART. YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT.

GT: Oh why didnt you say so! Thats all i needed to hear!!!

GT: See youre getting the hang of hope already.

uu: YEAH. I GUESS.

uu: THE BOTTOM LINE IS. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

uu: JUST TAKE MY JUJU. HAVE FAITH IN YOUR PATRON DUDE. AND LEAVE EVERYTHING TO ME.

GT: Roger that mr lord.

GT: Say. Dont you have a name? We know your sisters name... cant we know yours now too?

uu: NO.

uu: THERE ARE MANY THINGS YOU SHOULDNT KNOW ABOUT ME. FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.

uu: IF YOU KNEW THEM. IF YOU EVEN KNEW MY NAME.

uu: YOU WOULD SHIT YOUR PANTS HARDER THAN ANY HUMAN EVER HAS.

uu: SO YOU MAY CONTINUE REFERRING TO ME AS YOUR LORD.

GT: Well i surely dont want to spoil any clean trousers.

GT: Even though your warning sounds a little hyperbolic i will trust you.

GT: Um. My lord.

GT: Heheheh when i call you that people could mistake our conversation for a nefarious and underhanded collusion among felons!

uu: SHUT THE FUCK UP.

GT: As you wish... MY LORD.

GT: HEHEHEHEHEH!

uu: UGH.

GT: So lord. May i ask...

GT: Why are you giving me your juju if it is so dear to you?

GT: Is your commitment to this manbro boypledge of yours really that strong?

GT: If so im really impressed. I would have a really hard time giving my favorite stuff away to a total stranger.

uu: DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF.

uu: THE GESTURE IS RELATIVELY MEANINGLESS. THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS.

uu: I HAVE FOUND A NEW JUJU. A MUCH BETTER JUJU.

uu: A JUJU THAT MAKES ALL OTHER JUJUS LOOK LIKE FRIVOLOUS CHILDISH NONSENSE IN COMPARISON.

GT: Yeah? Then that is quite a treasure you found.

GT: Where did you get it? Did you plunder a tomb or such?

uu: SORT OF.

uu: IT WAS EXCAVATED FROM THIS PLANET'S SOIL.

uu: ALONG WITH SOME OTHER ARTIFACTS.

uu: AND GIVEN TO ME.

uu: BY MY INFURIATING ASSHOLE MENTOR.

uu: A MAN WHO IS AN INVINCIBLE CLOWN.

GT: Well that sounds nice of him. He cant be that much of an asshole if he gave you such a nice present can he?

uu: NO, BELIEVE ME. HE CAN.

GT: I had a clown give me a nice present once too. I would never have met my good friend mr erisol without the kindness of that clown.

uu: YEAH. IT'S THE SAME FUCKING CLOWN SOMEHOW.

uu: I'M TELLING YOU. THIS ASSHOLE IS ETERNAL. AND THE BEINGS HE CREATES FOR YOUR PARTY ARE DISGUSTING ABOMINATIONS.

uu: BUT WHAT CAN YOU DO? NOTHING, I HAVE LEARNED. HE'S A CLOWN. THE RULES ARE. CLOWNS CAN DO WHATEVER THEY WANT. BECAUSE OF MIRACLES. AND HOLD NO ACCOUNTABILITY FOR THEIR DEEDS.

uu: I DON'T LIKE IT. BUT THOSE ARE THE RULES.

GT: So whats this juju he gave you?

uu: SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL.

uu: A WONDERFUL LITTLE FALSE MAN.

uu: AND THE IRONY IS. I HAVE SEEN HIM BEFORE.

uu: BUT I REGARDED HIM WITH SUSPICION AND FEAR.

uu: I WAS A FOOL THOUGH. I DID NOT UNDERSTAND THE SPECIAL BOND WITH HIM THAT I HAD.

uu: BECAUSE I DID NOT HAVE A CHANCE. TO GAZE SOULFULLY INTO HIS BEAUTIFUL EYES.

uu: AND COMMUNE WITH THE DOLL. IN A PERSONAL AND INTIMATE WAY.

GT: Gosh...

GT: That might just be the gayest thing ive ever heard.

uu: THANK YOU.

uu: YOUR HUMAN CONCEPT OF GAYNESS. ADEQUATELY DESCRIBES THE FEELINGS I HAVE. WHEN I EMBRACE MY PERFECT FLOPPY LITTLE MAN.

uu: THE THING IS. I UNDERSTAND HIM MORE NOW.

uu: BEFORE I THOUGHT HE WAS A CURSED VESSEL OF MISFORTUNE. WHICH SEEMED EERILY EMPTY TO ME.

uu: HE WAS HOLLOW. NOT YET FILLED WITH BAD JUJU.

uu: AND LOOKING IN HIS EYES NOW. I SEE. THAT I WAS RIGHT. ALMOST.

uu: HE IS EMPTY RIGHT NOW. BUT A JUJU FOLLOWS A LONG AND WINDING PATH ON ITS ETERNAL JOURNEY.

uu: AND HE WILL NOT BE EMPTY FOREVER.

uu: SOMEWHERE ALONG HIS JOURNEY.

uu: IN SOME WAY I DON'T UNDERSTAND YET.

uu: HE WILL STOP BEING EMPTY.

uu: AND HIS CURSE WILL COME TO LIFE.

uu: AND WHEREVER HE GOES. TO WHATEVER UNIVERSE OR PLANE OF REALITY.

uu: ALL WHO EXIST THERE. WILL EXPERIENCE NOTHING BUT MISERY AND DEATH.

uu: YOU SEE. THERE IS NOTHING WORSE THAN A CURSED JUJU.

uu: WHICH IS WHY I WAS SO NERVOUS ABOUT HIM BEFORE.

uu: BUT ALL ALONG. THERE WAS NOTHING FOR ME TO FEAR.

uu: BECAUSE NOW I KNOW. THROUGH INTENSIVE COMMUNION WITH THIS PRECIOUS MYSTICAL PUPPET.

uu: THAT THE CURSE WHICH WILL BLOSSOM IN HIS FLUFFY HEART. WILL DO SO.

uu: BECAUSE OF ME!

uu: I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT.

uu: BUT WHEN I LOOK DEEP INTO HIS EYES.

uu: I CAN FEEL HIM OUT THERE.

uu: IN LATER STAGES OF HIS LIFE.

uu: BY WHICH I MEAN.

uu: I CAN FEEL *MYSELF*.

uu: THROUGH HIM SOMEHOW.

uu: AS IF MY ESSENCE WILL ONE DAY BECOME.

uu: ENTANGLED WITH THE VOID.

uu: AND THEN MYSTERIOUSLY ACCESSIBLE.

uu: THROUGH MY SOFT HAPPY PAL.

uu: AND ALL THOSE ALONG THE WAY.

uu: WHO HE DEEMS WORTHY.

uu: OF ACCEPTING INTO HIS CUSTODY.

uu: IF THEY SHOULD DARE TO FONDLY GAZE.

uu: INTO HIS SPARKLING BABY BLUES.

uu: THEY WILL BE PEERING THROUGH THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WINDOWS.

uu: INTO MY HIDEOUS SOUL.

0 notes

antiloreolympus · 3 years

Text

10 Anti LO Asks

1. LO IMHO should have been an anthology series. The different plots themselves aren't an inherently bad idea, but trying to weave them together, especially trying to weave them to HxP as the main focus, is where it all falls apart. Hera and Zeus' struggles, Eros/Psyche, Apollo and Daphne, or anything else needs to involve them. I can get what RS is going for, but she is not a strong writer to make them blend together or give them the time they need when HxP is supposed to be the focus.

2. idk if you guys go on the webtoonsopinions page but they have a recent post about lo apollo and the fans are INSISTING rachel "never forgets a plot line" and its like ... yeah no her completely dropping apollo for literal months at a time is, in fact, forgetting about it. she seems more focused on adding more plots than building up the plots she already has and wrapping anything up organically. just going off the minthe plot line, apollo's will likely be as rushed and anticlimactic too.

From OP: About the plot lines, Semele is still nowhere to be found lmao

3. so is ... this the wrap up of the trial? she just gets a slap on the wrist and community service? i think we all knew she wouldnt get actual punishment, but this is just a laughable bad wrap up, even by LO standards.

From OP: Nah, the trial will resume in 2 days (LO time).

4. I would probably take the "I had a deep connection with him" comment from Persephone more seriously if it weren't for the fact RS clearly is framing it as "proof" of how they're "soulmates" as opposed to a tragic look into a very emotionally stunted young woman with an unhealthy attachment to a man she doesn't even know. This trope is used in fairytales to show how lust like that is fleeting but she'll find someone better as long as she seeks them out, not that being her ONLY option.

5. i am ... shocked rachel went with the worst possible option with how hades would find out about p's assault. i know people for years have speculated shed pick a bad option but i was holding out shed have the better sense to not do it, and yet she went and made an even worse option than what everyone theorized shed do. its almost impressive in how awful she made it.

6. weird how of the three (?) banners webtoons has for LO its either the one that incorrectly labels the underworld as hell (and looks like a Christmas ad for some reason), only features hades (isnt persephone the lead? why does he get more merch and ads than her?), or one taking about how "legendary" their "love" is and its just hades holding an unconscious 19 year old persephone (so romantic!) oh, and its all only from 2018 too. like damn, do they not want to show the current art at least?

7. for all its faults at least s1 had moments of decent writing and art. but good lord, s2 has been nothing but more and more nonsense and flying off the rails. it's honestly kind of impressive how much worse s2 has been in literally every single way.

-----FP Spoilers/Mention-----

8. FP SPOILERS. I seriously cannot believe how bad this story has gotten. I'm only following it now to see how the dumpster fire will end, if it ever does!

185 was really just another way to pad things out. The whole "letter to Hades" business was stupid and added nothing that we didn't already know, there were SO many shots of his abs/body which were more often than not ruined by the presence of his ugly face. And then the end of it! He's NEVER been titan sized before? Really? THATS why his arm is stuck like that? AND he doesn't understand the concept of not punishing others... and Perse is okay with the fact she has to teach him what paradise for mortals means? Give me a fucking break. I also really hated how Hades was all "my back can't handle sleeping outside," it just served as a reminder that he's old and creepy.

This whole thing is convoluted and stupid, and I'm considering dropping it as a whole since it barely moves forward and I'm just so bored with it. THANKFULLY I have never paid to see any fast pass episodes, but still. I'm just getting sick of it.

9. LO couldn't even bother to let Persephone make the choice to open up to Hades and tell him about her assault, Hades had to breach her privacy, force her to tell him, then make PERSEPHONE take care of his emotions while he just does some stupid "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" comment as extent of him "caring" for her. I hoped at least Rachel would have let Persephone the choice to open up to Hades on her own terms, but now even Hades ripped that away from her. It's disgusting.

10. wait when did hades turn into a spider. why would he be a spider. wheres arachne in this then bc spiders wouldnt exist without her.

From OP: You’ll see it in episode 183. I didn’t catch that it was a fp spoiler at the time but it’s so vague that I left it there.

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical

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year2000electronics · 3 years

Note

i actually don't have an opinion on either, so i'm curious: what do you hate about youtooz? (the price is way too much though i agree)

ok. so. first things first the REASON i compare these two series, and i believe it IS a fair comparison, is that they both serve the same role in their respective merchandising niches: a brand with a certain style that most figures conform to that is famous (or rather, notorious) for covering ridiculous amounts of media and their style being... well, depends who you ask. its just that funko pop covers mainstream media most of the time, basically anything that a big company can fund, whereas youtooz is for internet icons and independent creators

and the BIGGEST point is the price point.

so just using pops official website and my own personal knowledge as a jumping off platform, i know that the whole reason pops are so simplistic and accessible is because they’re meant to be easily accessible collectibles for the mainstream audience! theyre supposed to be neat little collectibles that are easy to get and easy to produce (which is how they maintain the price)

the price here says these star trek funko pops are 11 bucks, and just from personal experience ive seen pops go for anywhere from 9 bucks to 15 bucks, with some really common pops even making their way to the dollar store! so if youre a fan of star trek who doesnt have CRAZY disposable income and you just wanna nab a spock, hey. there you go.

now, vaulted pops and chase variants (basically pops that arent currently being restocked in stores, and rarer simple variants to already made models ie. gold mario) rack up a lot of money on auction sites, but this happens with literally every figure and limited item so its really not like, a pop problem. imo their goal of being simple, accessible collectibles for anyone to collect and enjoy WORKS.

now here ive got some figures from youtooz and- HUH. LOOK AT THAT. 30 US DOLLARS. (again, even more for me in canada!) now, i know that its not TOTALLY ridiculous bc even though theyre around the same height, funko pops have more hollow plastic and theres probably more complex designs but the REASON i do not think that these are worth as much as they are is because

2. THEY ARE UGLY.

ive done a little sketch here trying to analyze the sort of design philosphies of the ‘pop style’ and the ‘youtooz style’ and i think both have their ups and downs.

i will give youtooz the point for the dynamic poses theyre usually in, as that usually makes the figure a lot more interesting, which you REALLY need if your figure has absolutely no articulation

look at the youtooz charlie brown doing a baseball- hes in the middle of an action pose, and it has a GREAT silhouette. 10/10 posing. some of the youtooz posing really fucking sucks but overall its got better pose quality

but a lot of pops are Just Standing There.

BUT overall i think funko pop has the stronger style. funko pop’s style has a REASON to be the way it is. why? because many of the first pop lines were just one in dozens and hundreds of already existing toy lines! so it needs a distinct style to not only give credence to a ‘collection’ mentality, but also distinguishing them from other lines of the same brand

like, there are so many different c-3pos out there, so i KNOW im getting a funko pop c-3po bc like. look at him.

so then, i ask you, WHY does youtooz need a ‘unifying style’? why do internet creators need to conform to this style? because both the reasons i listed above just, do not apply here! one, these are often the ONLY figures made for these creators, and two, there is NOBODY who is collecting youtooz. the point of youtooz is that there are LIMITED DROPS, targeted SPECIFICALLY at fans of THAT creator. which is why they announce it on their channel! so theres no NEED to use this ugly UGLY style! and yet they do!!!

another thing the youtooz style sucks ass with is, like, the default expression. for funko pops, the default expression is usually a neutral, which SOME say is creepy or offputting but IMO. its like, a blank slate. a resting natural that could be anything and that works as these figures dont exist IN motion. look at hello kitty! she doesnt have a mouth and its used to her advantage

but the closed eyes just fucking- its CONFUSING. especially in an expression thats not all smiley. its a confusing expression and usually a closed-eyes emotion isnt something that... stays on the face for that long? ik its a stylization choice but i dont LIKE it. theres no point of eye contact here. the posture suggests theyre looking SOMEwhere, like this rando throwing a thumbs up to the ‘viewer’ but his eyes are closed

AND THREE i just think funko pop does... ‘compromise’ better. so compromise is like, when something just WILL NOT FIT in your style. even if the reason for having that style is STUPID. funko pop has a better track record with bringing that style into synthesis with their own. yeah yeah you can strawman that fucking dory pop all you want but listen. there are GOOD EXAMPLES of this.

look at this peashooter! hes adorable!! and the funko nose and lack of mouth get broken here. but LOOK HES SO CUTE

this pvz zombie breaks EVERY rule of the design. a non-standard nose, a body not smaller than the head, eyes that arent all black, MOUTH. but like. look at him! you know its a funko pop anyways bc its a small cute version of the zombie!!

now lets see how YOUTOOZ compromises.

oh- oh wow. so uh, you saw a character whose big eyes are CRUCIAL to their design and instead of going ‘i know ill make the closed eyes bigger’ you go HMM LETS MAKE THE CLOSED EYES THE PUPILS’. wow. thats- okay.

tldr youtooz sucks and if it should exist it shouldnt force every figure to be the same stupid style. also who wants to pay for memes.

#mothra answers

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heyitsyn · 4 years

Text

Prove Me Wrong

M!Reader x Oikawa

a/n: SDKLFJSLDKFJDLSKF OKAY I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I LAST UPDATED BUT I REALLY INVESTED MY TIME INTO RESEARCHING AND READING FANFICS WITH AN M!READER BC I REALLY DIDNT WANNA GET IT WRONG SO I APOLOGIZE IF I DID SOMETHING WRONG AND I HOPE THIS ANON LIKES IT!!!

anon:

-heres an interesting thought. what about flamboyant oikawa with a cold boyfriend😳😳

YEYYY I FINALLY UPDATED

LETS GET STARTED SHALL WE?

okayokayokay

so in the request above

this is a m!reader

meaning you will be male in this one so hehe yep the story starts now

you are,,,

distant

and cold

but its mainly just because you were,,,

too tired to actually put in the effort of socializing

between bouncing between part-time jobs to care for your siblings and to schoolwork and book club

the mans can only do so much

so you spend most of your time in school just trying to catch up on sleep bc youre too busy studying up all night for exams since yanno

✨gRaDuaATiOn✨

unfortunately for you, your class had the famous manwhore oikawa tooru

why is that a bad thing?

well, imagine just trying to get some shut eye and suddenly, you just hear a bunch of screaming girls and it gets louder the closer the guy approaches your classroom and when he opens it,

the screams become 10x bass boosted

then imagine that with your sensitive hearing

now,,

it does bother you but it wouldnt bother you as much if he told them to leave

BUT NOOOOOO

he decides to let them in and chat with them and flatter them and continue with that bs until the bell rings

even then,

the girls in your class cant help but keep giggling at him and he always whispers in that obnoxious voice and youre just like two seconds away from ripping his tongue out

now

you dont hate him

you just genuinely dislike his way of living

and the way he talks

and the way he acts

yea see?

no hate

theres a difference

then there was that one time that you got so fed up with it that when oikawa settled on his seat and the fangirls circled him like some cult

they started talking to him all at once trying to get his attention

so it was a garbled mess of sounds and you growled, burying your face deeper in your arms because you would snap really really soon

then one girl shrieked when oikawa smiled at her and then you really just let go of all bearings

your chair made a squeak as you shot up, palms slamming against the wooden desk and your eyes glaring straight at them

‘go back to the farm, ya squealing pigs’

DSKFJLSDFKJSDFKDJS SORRY I LOVE TSUMU

this made everyone silent-even the others in the class just minding their own business

they all knew you as the quiet kid who didnt really talk much but those who did were really scared at you and the way you talked to them with such a cold and monotonous voice that they started spreading rumors about you

even absurd ones like your eyes are so cold bc youve killed so many people that you have no life and empathy left

LIKE WHAT THE HECK YOU STRUGGLED TO GET A SPIDER OUT OF YOUR SISTERS ROOM THE OTHER DAY LIKE EXCUSE YOU

but apparently they were just,,, so scared of you that when you finally got done with them and bursted out, the girls started crying

YALL KNOW THE SAYING LIKE HELL HAS STARTED WHEN THE QUIET KID SNAPS

the females run out of the room scared and the others nervously looks at you

your eyes sweeped through the room and each one of them flinched when you made eye contact with them

YES ASSERT OUR DOMINANCE M/N

the only who didnt was oikawa tooru himself

your eyes landed on him and he still had that stupid smug look on his stupidly gorgeous face and you wanted to ki-WAIT NO SLAP it off of him

‘the hell you looking at?’

you grumbled at him and he just merely shook his head with a smile

‘you remind me a chihuahua, m/n-chan. so cute when its angry’

‘HAH?!’

now it isnt a surprise to hear oikawa tooru say that to a boy bc wowza the school loves him so much that hes a bi icon in seijoh and hes such a king like who cares?

but they were surprised to see you turn red, the tips of your ears to the base of your neck were all flushed

‘see? so cute, right, everyone?’

KSDFJLSDKJFS

THE NERVE OF THIS MAN

the class didnt say anything except just put their heads down bc as much as they wanted to agree with oikawa at how suddenly hot you looked, they were too scared that you might plummet their faces to the ground

maybe thats when everyone started noticing you more

again, you were very quiet, you didnt talk much, you just sat there and listened so obviously you didnt really stand out but then that outburst made you more noticeable

you started seeing girls in your class staring at you then blush and look away abashedly

then the guys in your class started greeting you, even people in the hallways

ngl the attention you suddenly got was overwhelming

especially when oikawa seemed to call out to you all the time now

as you were walking down the stairs, hed see you and he’d shout and wave to you

‘m/n-chan! hiii!!!!’

his loud voice would make everyone turn and look at you and you dont do well with public attention so you turn red and you glare at him

‘shut the hell up, idiot. and dont call me by my first name. we’re not friends’

you turned to walk in the classroom but you looked at him again after taking a few steps

there he was

smiling and giggling with those girls

all he does is smile and giggle and shit

its so damn fake that you cant believe everyone fell for it and the worst thing is oikawa’s doing it to get everyone’s acceptance and validication

it was pathetic and disgusting

poor oikawa :(

now on to baby flatttykawa side,

he was kinda hurt by that

like how the heck are you not friends when youve been going to high school for 3 years?

sure, its only been casual greetings and him waving at you when yall made eye contact

but its still something, right?

right?

when you walked back into the classroom, tooru cant help but feel down at the declaration of the lack of friendship you had

his form slouched and his eyes trailed down but the voice of some girl brought him back to where he was and to fix his attitude

‘oikawa-san? are you okay?’

the others muttered in concern with her but they were eased when he raised a peace sign with the signature smile

‘yep! all good!’

GOD I REALLY CANT STAND IT WHEN HE USES A FACADE TO EVERYONE BUT LIKE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH BC HES SUCH A STRONG CHARACTER THAT DOESNT BREAK AND HES SO INSECURE AND IT PAINS ME SO MUCH THAT HE FEELS THE NEED TO HIDE BEHIND A MASK EVERYDAY AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

truth be told,

oikawa has always noticed you

not only do you work at the one bakery with his milk bread but you also work at the convenience store that the team sometimes visits

then he also noticed you picking up your brother from the volleyball practice that takeru’s part of and he cant help but frown at the eyebags under your eyes that he always sees

he lies awake at night just thinking how you would look without those eyebags, without the sickly looking complexion, or even just the lack of life in your eyes

then during class, you sat by the window

tooru knows this bc his eyes always fixes itself on you whenever he opens that door and he has to hold in the need to hug you when he sees you sleeping on your desk

others might call you lazy

others might call you a video game all nighter kid

but they dont notice the things you do

the nervous habits hes seen from you at the times that tooru couldnt help but stare

he knew it was creepy to do it

but you were so silent

you blended yourself into the background and you made sure to stay there

thats why nobody knows anything about you

with good looks like yours and a smart brain (he knew this from mattsun and makki being your students), why exactly were you not known?

maybe thats why it drew you to him

all his life he chased,

but now hes the one chasing?

tooru knows that your left eyebrow lifts when sensei writes something you dont understands

tooru knows that you like to do sudoku in the convenience store while you worked

tooru knows you eat the same meal during lunch every day from the same lunchbox

and he also knows that your brother talks so highly about you from takeru

the little things your brother brags about like your ability to cook f/f or your weird ability to just assemble something without looking at the instruction manual

he notices and knows all these things about you

things that people never really even bothered to

oikawa didnt even know he liked you until iwaizumi pointed it out during lunch

the third years liked to go and eat at the rooftop where it was nice and windy

oikawa was sitting and leaned against the tall wire fence, his eyes fixated on you down below on the bench as you ate your lunch

then you accidentally loosened the chopsticks causing your food to slip off

that made oikawa giggle

he was chuckling and giggling that the others noticed him when he suddenly went quiet

‘oi, oikawa’

makki nudged him back to them and tooru flinched before smiling at them

‘hm? so you do notice me!’

iwa glared

‘idiot. of course we do. youre laughing over there like some damn schoolgirl. did one of your fangirls posses you or something? if not, cut it out. its ugly’

oikawa shot him an offended look

‘what?! iwa-chan so mean!’

mattsun took the liberty to peer over the edge to see what he was looking at and smirked

‘eh? were you looking at l/n-sensei?’

oikawa blushed, feeling like he just got caught doing something bad

‘and what about it? im looking at you too, right now, mattsun!’

makki cackled at oikawa’s poor attempt of reasoning

‘i mean, i dont blame you. if issei wasnt here, id definitely get with him’

SEDKLFJSDLFISDKFJ MATTSUHANA YALL :”)

oikawa’s eyes wandered back down to you and he noticed you put the bento box to the side before sneezing

‘gosh, even his sneeze is cute’

he mumbled then jolted when he heard his own words

iwa sighed

‘what are we going to do with you, shittykawa?’

‘what?! what did i do?!’

iwa’s eyes scrunched and he scrutinized his best friend

‘boke. i feel bad for that kid, doesnt know this stupid idiot likes him’

so thats how oikawa came to terms of it

he thought he was just interested and fascinated with you but he really does like you

and to be honest, he doesnt really want you to know that bc duh, you dont like him so why bother?

baby oiks doesnt interact with you much anymore bc he knows you get uncomfy with attention but he still does look out for you and decides he should just admire from afar

he will live every day just holding his feelings in for you and one day they will disappear

but today just wasnt the day

maybe today was the start of the worst yet the best part of your life

last night was particularly rough as the convenience store you worked in had a drunk person who wanted to fight with you and your manager had to call the police and it was just a mess

to add on to it, midterms were around the corner-like next week- so you were studying up for that

but your sister got sick so you were also trying to take care of her and making sure her fever was going down and her crying ever few hours about her tummy ache didnt allow you to sleep

hehehe single parent working late tingz

ALSO SHE DOESNT HAVE MISS RONA JFC

so yep haha you did NOT get any sleep

so you walked into school that morning, looking tired as hell and mad as hell but you just wanted to sleep bro

the one kid you tutor, matsukawa issei, and his friend who usually tags along, hanamaki takahiro, noticed you dazedly pass them in the hallway and poor dudes felt bad for you

mattsun actually pays you to tutor him bc he knows you need the money while taka preferred to buy you snacks and drinks as compensation

so it was normal that he had an energy drink in his bag that he was going to give you tomorrow during your tutoring day

‘oi! l/n!’

your head perked up at the call of your name and you nodded in greeting at the light brown haired boy

‘hey’

you muttered and mattsun placed his hands on your shoulder to keep you upright

‘oi, l/n, you sure you want to be here? you can go home and we can tell them youre sick or some-’

but you waved your hand

‘nonono todays an important lecture so i cant miss it’

the two guys didnt look convinced but they respected your need to be in school since they too need to be in class for midterms

‘here. at least take this’

makki placed a drink on your hand and you nodded and gave them a small smile

‘thanks’

you mumbled before wandering off

once they saw you at a distance away, makki wrapped an arm around issei to get his attention

‘ya think we should tell oikawa to keep an eye on him? make sure he doesnt keel over and die or somethin?’

mattsun stopped before nodding

‘yea thats a good idea’

SKLFJLSDKJFD NOT MATTSUHANA BEING YOUR PARENTS

oikawa was already in class when you walked in and he cant help but tear his eyes away from the girls to you as you sluggishly walked to your seat

the drop of your bag and the thud of your head meeting the desk made him worried bc you looked worse than usual

his phone buzzed and he checked it to see a message from mattsun

‘keep an eye out for your boyfriend. mightve been working late last night and yanno how he is. just watch out if he faints or something’

okay that made him super worried

totally ignoring what mattsun called you, oikawa knew he needed to talk to you

but these fangirls were the first problem

he shut his phone off and looked up at them with a grin that made them madly blush

‘ladies, class is about to start. oikawa-senpai would hate for you to be marked. so study hard for me, okay?’

like hypnotized cult members, the girls ran to their classrooms and tooru finally had the opportunity to talk to you

he stood up and walked over to your seat

‘m/n-chan’

he called out, looking down at you

‘m/n-chan’

he tried again and was about to put a hand on your shoulder when your hand snatched it

‘dont touch me, oikawa’

you grumbled and tooru furrowed his eyebrows

‘m/n-chan, i just wanted to ask if youre okay’

he whined and you didnt bother to look up but just let go of his hand

‘i was until you came over, idiot’

ouch

tooru was thankful that the teacher came in then and there bc he didnt know how to respond to that

he wanted to brush it off but it hurt him a little

and he knows he shouldnt entertain his crush on you but he couldnt looking at you and watching as you got up to use the bathroom

as class went on, oikawa was starting to worry

now again, hes no stalker bc his observation skills were just phenomenal due to volleyball

so he noticed that youve been in the bathroom for like 20 minutes now

DONT JUDGE US, OIKAWA. WE’RE JUST TRYING TO PUSH OUT THE BIG PIECE OF-

okay nevermind

anyways

tooru, worried that something happened, raised his hand to go and use the bathroom and the sensei wasnt exactly paying attention so he just let him go

thank god he has long legs bc he was able to reach the bathroom quick and he stifled a shriek when he saw your passed out form inside

‘M/N-CHAN!’

he yelled and he cursed when duh you were alone and who knows how long youve been there

and ew bathroom floors is bleh

you were in no way light but you werent exactly heavy either so he was able to muster up all his strength and hoisted you on his back

tooru’s heart thrummed in his chest and he knew it couldnt be that serious but he cant help but think of the worst

and yep

the nurse just told him that your heartbeat was okay and you were snoring so you mustve been exhausted by the dark circles in your eyes

‘keep an eye on him for me. i have to tend to midoriya over there. the kid broke his arm again and i dont know how’

she grumbled at the end but tooru didnt care as he sat on the chair next to your bed

he sighed before laying his head on the cot by your hand

his eyes settled on your face and how peaceful it looked

gosh, you really were so cute

your personality just sucked ass

constantly telling him to shut up and calling him idiot

hmph

not long after oikawa fell asleep, you woke up and cursed, immediately realizing you fainted and you missed class

as you were going to rub your eye, there was weight on your hand and you looked down to see a head full of brown hair that could only belong to a certain someone

a certain idiot

‘oi. oikawa, wake up’

you shook his head and when he didnt budge, you just pulled your hand from under him making him jump awake

at first, he was confused

looking around like a lost puppy and his eyes bleary

yea it was cute and what about it

then he noticed you sitting up and he smiled

‘you feeling better, m/n-chan?’

he asked, leaning close

but you placed your hand on his face to push him away

‘yea. and stop leaning so close, idiot’

you grumbled and he whined

‘youre so mean, m/n-chan! i was so worried about you!’

he complained and you rolled your eyes

‘i didnt ask you to be, idiot’

SLDKFJSDLKFJKL M/N IS SO MEAN WHAT THE FAK

oikawa frowned

‘i cant help it. i like you, m/n-chan’

you froze, looking at him with scrunched eyebrows

then you chuckled dryly

‘yea, okay sure. im okay now so you can go to class’

wOW OIKAWA DESERVES BETTER WHAT

tooru was taken aback

‘wh-what? thats it? after i just told you that i liked you?’

you blinked at him

‘what do you want me to say about that, oikawa? how do you want me to react? im not like your fangirls, squealing and shit’

your words cut deep in him and oikawa held your arm

‘no wait a minute. what do you mean by that? do you not believe me?’

��who the hell believes something that’s fake?’

there was a snip in your tone and oikawa knew you were talking about this facade of his

‘what? i-’

‘you think i believe you? you telling me you like me? do you even know who you are?’

you asked and tooru sniffled, eyes staring at your chest

‘for years, you told people what you wanted them to hear, regardless if you meant them or not. not once have you ever told them no. who the hell accepts chocolates when they dont even like them to begin with?’

at that last part, oikawa snapped up to meet your eyes

‘how did you know’

you rolled your eyes

‘our brothers are friends, idiot. he gave him some of the chocolates you gave to takeru since the brat couldnt eat them all’

oddly, that brought some warmth in tooru’s chest

so he wasnt the only one who knows the stupid stuff

but you continued on your rant

‘for a guy who doesnt like sweet stuff, youve accepted their nasty treats all the time, like why? oh, wait i know why, because you want them to like you. it doesnt matter if-if this-this persona of yours isnt real because as long as they like you, you dont give a fuck. isn’t that true? am i right? because please, prove me wrong’

maybe your dislike for him came out at that tangent and you half expected him to cry but you were surprised when he glared at you with teary eyes

‘i will. ill prove you wrong, m/n, that i do like you and i will make you like me. ill make you like me with the real me. i swear.’

‘mhm. okay. sure, oikawa’

do you regret it?

i mean,,,

kinda?

but not really?

because you loved watching the girls faces fall when oikawa rejected their treats the next day

you were walking to class when you noticed him with his cult by the entrance and you saw him smiling at some girl before gently pushing away a can of cookies

‘gomen. i actually dont like sweets that much anymore. if you want, you can give me milk bread?’

you stopped and oikawa caught your eye and he grinned

you nodded in greeting before continuing to walk

but he noticed a small smile on your face and gosh oikawa sighed like a lovesick fool

it took iwaizumi to finally send him back and his fangirls were looking at him worriedly

‘could you be less obvious, shittykawa?’

rip iwaizumi hajime in episode 546546546 of daily adventures of oikawa tooru

you noticed that oikawa has started to become distant with his fangirls and hes been sticking to you during lunch, leaving behind the others

makki and mattsun looked like proud parents as they peered down over to you flicking oikawa’s forehead and they smiled

‘god, that kid deserves this’

‘hah? that sounds like more of a punishment to me. but i dont care. it takes him off our hands for a while’

IWA I SWEAR HES SO MEAN BUT HE STILL WUVS TOORU SO ITS OKAY

oikawa would pick your brother up and take him home when youre too busy to go get him yourself and sometimes, he even takes your little sister too which causes them to have a mini sleepover and you sleep there too

also, whenever youre working in the convenience store, tooru would buy sandwhiches and a drink just for you so you can eat them while youre on break and not have to waste money and you told himyou dont want him spending money on you but he doesnt wanna hear it

‘i dont want you buying me-’

‘ssshhhh dont. im doing this because i want to and becaus i care for you, m/n-chan’

overtime,

yea

sure

youve started to like him

youve started looking forward to seeing his stupidly cute face and his stupidly cute giggle

you went to his games and gave him a tight hug when hes about to play as a ritual for good luck and you would open your arms for him wide whenever he wins

then he didnt

against shiratorizawa, you noticed how he was so disappointed

even as you walked home with him, he continued to smile and tell you how good his team played

until you couldnt take it anymore

you pulled him over to some alleyway and you pushed him to the wall

DSKLFJLSDKFJLSDFJ WOW WHAT

oikawa nervously fiddled with his jacket and gave you a shaky smile

‘m/n-chan, what are you-’

‘tell me what youre feeling right here, right now. no bullshit, no lies, tell me everything in that pretty head of yours’

you deadpanned and tooru looked away

‘im fine’

‘are you lying to me, tooru?’

your voice was even but he could tell you were serious

he gulped before taking in a shakey breath

‘im fine. so stop asking about it!’

he exclaimed and you sighed

‘listen, i know its not official yet but you want me to be your boyfriend right?’

tooru flinched before he flushed at the word ‘boyfriend’

then he nodded

‘as your boyfriend, you have to lean on me, tooru. i dont want you to hold it to yourself because i wanna be there for you and i want to go through everything with you because i,,,,,’

you stopped and hesitated, debating if you should say it or not

‘because i like you, idiot’

you confessed and swallowed thickly

oikawa met your eye and his eyes watered

‘im so angry! im so disappointed! but i know my team did their 110 percent! we’re just not strong enough! so its not their fault! but ushijima is such a freak and hes too strong and its not fair!’

he complained and he cried loudly

not once in the 3 years of knowing oikawa have you seen him cry and you were so proud of him for being able to trust you enough to show him being vulnerable

you rushed forward held him close to your chest

‘for what it’s worth, you looked so incredibly hot and cute playing’

you whispered and pecked his neck

of course oikawa couldnt hold his surprise at the feeling of your lips on his neck so he squealed a little

you gigled and continued holding your boyfriend close, even if it was at some nasty alleyway

yall became official and ngl, they didnt see this coming

some nobody dating the grand king oikawa tooru?

what in the wattpad?

yall know that tiktok of like ‘guys you cant dm me anymore. i have a girlfriend now. what else? and i love her’

IF YALL DONT KNOW IM SORRY

but you totally made oikawa tell his fangirls that

YOU KNOW THE FUNNY THING?

when yall became official, you actually gained your own little fanclub

maybe its because you gained clout from your boyfriend but they started noticing you and wowza you were hot

before, it was you getting jealous over tooru but now, it was him getting possessive of you

hes such a brat that he sits on your lap before class and youre just all smirking and feeling all good bc your baby is so cute when hes jealous

YOU CANT DISAGREE THAT HE DOESNT RADIATE UKE ENERGY

but all oiks has to do is pull down your collar and expose your purple littered collarbones and they will know who you belong to

theres a reason why iwa-chan is now the kids babysitter

youre still kinda cold and distant to people but youre soft for your baby and you always hold him close when hes in sight and you just cant get enough of him

:’)

also!!

your sister loves dressing you up and oikawa has his sisters makeup and they both do your makeup and you guys have tea party with the boys and just the cutest domestic stuff

you still call him idiot though

but like affectionately yanno?

and over the years youve turned it down to dummy

and ngl tooru loves it when you call him that

what in the dumbification-

because he knows that equivalent to babe from you and he absolutely just loves you lmao

youre def the more quieter and calmer one in the relationship like you absolutely dont react much

while tooru is the overreactor and hes very animated with his facial expressions and stuff

like the one time

he was cooking some chicken pasta and you cheekily grabbed a piece of chicken and he made a dramatic gasp

‘*le gasp* oikawa m/n how dare steal a piece of chicken!’

you cackled before crossing your arms at the sight ofyour lover with his pursed lips and hands on his hips

‘excuse you. its more of you who’d take my last name’

it was so easy to make him flustered and tooru quickly turned around to tend back to the food but he was really just hiding his red face

‘b-baka. thats not going to happen’

‘not if i do it first’

you shrugged and smirked, wondering if he will fall for it

and as expected with oikawa tooru

‘yea okay sure’

‘i will!’

‘prove me wrong, m/n-chan~’

‘turn around right now’

oikawa rolled his eyes playfully before turning with a smile

‘what are you-*le gasp part 2*’

his hands covered his mouth at the sight of you there in front of him, kneeling on your knee tightly clutching a silver ring between your thumb and index finger

your heart was thrumming in your chest but you gulped and smiled

‘i win. now marry me, dummy’

oikawa screamed

a/n: sorry if this sucked booty :((( but i just really like the thought of uke oikawa and just him with a cute boyfriend for a change like please we all know oikawa is a bi king and thats on docosahexaenoic acid

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milky-moo · 3 years

Text

Being stalked by a man ISNT romantic

This happened last year:

A man asked me out randomly in a shopping centre and demanded I give him my number and I was trying to politely decline but he wouldn’t take the hint.

I found my grandmother and told her we needed to leave because he was calling me and she didn’t believe me because I’m ugly/not pretty enough in her eyes for that type of thing to happen.

When she finally understood me and saw his creepy behaviour we finally got out and I sped walked with her into a sushi joint just to confirm he wasn’t a total creepy and was just walking the same route as me.

He found me through the window, and I tried ignoring him and ordered sushi. He came into the store and didn’t order anything, just hung around hands in pockets looking at the food and at me. And when I left he of course followed 🙄

He tried to strike up a date with me about going to his favourite bar. And when my grandmother said “sorry we are having a grandma granddaughter day out.” He told her “then leave while I talk to this so very much beautiful woman.” And we both found it very rude.

I said “I’m sorry but I’m not free any time soon, keep your distance we are in a pandemic.”

He said “sorry baby so sorry.” But kept following us, I was scared he might pull out a weapon but we were in the Main Street so I guess he wouldn’t dare.

My Nan and I to walk faster and so did he...I thought if I started to run he would too.

We crossed the street by j walking, we walked around a store 🏬 like you should when driving you go right four times. And he wouldn’t stop.

Finally I said “Nan I need to change my tampon, do you need to toilet.”

She understood the message and we went to the women’s toilets where we sat and talked for fifteen minutes FIFTEEN!!!

When we came out...he was standing outside the store watching us while smoking. The moment he saw me he stomped on his cigarette and practically skipped inside.

We hurried to the coles and I did heavily considering calling the police but I was scared I could be fined for indecent use of the law and there was a 10% chance he just...was naive and meant no harm... plus I didn’t tell him to stop following us. I split with my Nan hooding he might follow her and not see me and leave us alone... but he saw me in the meat area.

He caught up to me and said “you are a funny one baby. Think it’s funny to make me chase you yes?”

The girls at the deli giggled because they thought he was my friend, but I think one of them saw me face and how uncomfortable I was and said “are you her boyfriend mate?”

And he said “yes.”

I felt cold like death and said “I don’t even know your name. Stay away please.”

And he said “oh no baby it’s ok baby I don’t have covid.” He tried to grab my hand and I remember falling back into someone else and feeling so scared I almost cried.I got very sniffling but I didn’t cry.

Anyway the girl behind the deli lied and said “no your not, she’s my best friend, we go to school together.”

And he finally backed off and walked out. I was so shaking and I felt embarrassed about why I felt so scared. He was just a weirdo and didn’t bring me arm but I just felt like I was 11 again when I was being abused by my step mother and felt helpless.

The girl at the deli I think told her boss or someone to fuck off cause she stopped serving another customer to come around and ask if I was ok and tried to convince me to sit on the floor and offered some water. By that time my Nan was there and we were escorted by deli girl to our car two streets away in case he was out there waiting. We got in the car and I felt like I should’ve reported that man but my Nan didn’t want to create a scene.

I hope deli girl got back to her job safely.

#milky thoughts 💭#my experiences #stalk #stalker #feminism #this is why we need feminism

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kiyo-yoon · 5 years

Text

Hes already bored of watching everyone fawn over valentines day so he's probably spent all his time listening to music. Yamaguchi has been oddly quiet all day and anytime he speaks, he won't shut up about the event. He thinks a quiet Yamaguchi is an annoying Yamaguchi and eventually breaks when they're walking home after practice.

"Why do you look so depressed?"

"Umm...I'm not, it's just...Daichi and Suga were really affectionate weren't they?"

"Well they are boyfriends and its valentines day. Are you blaming them or something?"

"What? No! No! No! No! It's just...we're boyfriends and...we don't really do that...umm, but I'm not trying to hint that we do more stuff, just pointing out and observing! Ahh! But not in the creepy way! Just th-umm?"

Yamaguchis rambling would be interrupted by Tsukkishima suddenly placing his headphones on him. He would get to listen to some metal band playing for two seconds before the blonde would lean over and kiss him.

"Valentines is about love isnt it? I love music so...so take what I love. Here, J-just listen and shut up..."

And he would walk away with a blush on his face, but never allow Yamaguchi to see it! Meanwhile, Yamaguchi is literally dying on the spot, face red and hands shaking and lips tingling. Plus he's got to listen through Tsukkis headphones which is a bonus!

All day, he's been watching couples get together and give each other gifts and cards and even kisses. During breaks between classes, he cant help but point out a new couple that's gotten together, or even someone who's been kissed or hugged...

They had a short practice of volleyball today, but he couldn't even concentrate because he's been busy admiring Suga and Daichis affectionate teasing and behaviour. He's totally jealous, but doesn't show it and as a result, realises that his own boyfriend has actually forgot what day it is. They all leave Asahi and Noya to lock up and on the way home, Tsukki finally breaks and asks him what's up.

He explains and then totally freaks out when Tsukki thinks hes not happy for Suga and Daichi. His freaking out disappears when Tsukki gives him headphones and a kiss and...that's enough for him, really.

"I can't believe Tsukki just-oh my g-!"

"What did you say? Something wrong?"

"No! Sorry Tsukki!"

Considering that they're already a couple, Daichi plans out the perfect day for them. His parents are away on holiday for a week, so he's pretty keen to get Suga at his house. He's been admittedly more lovey dovey than usual and after giving Asahi a pep talk for later, he takes Suga out of practice and out to town. He takes him to a cake shop where they would have cake and whilst he's ordering, Sugas waiting at the table.

Daichi is totally known for his jealous nature and when he returns to the table and spots some drunk delinquent high schooler, with an arm draped around Suga, he politely tells the guy to...go away.

And of course when he doesnt, Daichi would provoke him until the delinquent ends up trying to start a fight. The cake shop owner ends up kicking all three of them out and Daichi storms away in a mood because everything's been ruined until Suga stops him and grabs him into a hug.

"Sorry...I guess I just wanted today to be...perfect..."

And after a bit of reassurance from Suga, a cheeky innuendo, they end up sharing a smooch and head back to Daichis.

Suga would be the type to constantly tease Daichi for not getting everything right, it's in his nature to be cheeky. He succeeds in making Daichi blush when he lies and says he's upset for not getting flowers. Where's his kiss and hug? He didn't even get him a card? Heartbroken...

Still, Its cute that Daichi is dedicated anyways. Suga would probably be the type to leave a longing kiss, enough for Daichi to remember long in class. He's been listening to his boyfriend mumble their plans to himself and he's totally flustered with that because that's just adorable.

At the end of practice, they walk towards a cake shop, hands joined together and Suga sits down at a booth whilst he's waiting for Daichi to come back with cake. Suddenly theres a weight on his shoulder and he realises it's a teenager, maybe his age? And...yep, definitely drunk and now rambling about anything and everything.

After a few attempts of trying to get this guys arm off him, the guy is refusing to budge and Daichi is standing there and then the pair start arguing and before they know it, the owner of the shop has kicked them all out. Suga ends up chasing Daichi down the street when he storms away in a huff.

"Oi wait up! Daichi! Oi!"

Daichi rambles on about how he wanted today to go perfectly and then Suga pulls him and hugs him again.

"Today was more than perfect. You were pretty perfect too"

Suga would bring his face down for a kiss and then squeeze Daichis hands and grin and hint that they should probably go back to his place because Daichis parents arent in and the rest is up to them.

All day today, his new boyfriend of one week, Kageyama has been in some sort of weird mood. It's their first valentines together, so Hinata had done some research and bought Kageyama chocolates. Unfortunately for Hinata, he didnt know Kageyama is...allergic to nuts and therefore couldn't eat it.

Practice was short that day so Kageyama decided to use the special date as...their official first date together. Hinata is still wondering why the heck his boyfriend is in a bad mood until he spots an arcade poster and teases Kageyama that he would beat him in all the games.

Challenge accepted.

They head to the arcade and after constant arguing about the other somehow cheating, they go to the coin slot machine because...its impossible to cheat on that game. Hinata spots an adorable keychain of a nose with kawaii eyes and tries his best to get it. He fails, watches Kageyama get it and when Kageyama does, Hinata has to scream at him that the keychain is not ugly, it's cute!

On their way home, Hinata is about to split ways from Kageyama when Kageyama gets all sad and moody.

"I'm not just saying it though! I'm serious!"

"Really?"

Hinata would nod with a smile.

"This is my favourite day with you!"

Kageyama would surprise him by tossing the nose keychain over and after listening to Kageyama have some sort of weird battle with himself, Hinata would try something they've never done before.

Kiss...

Except...they've never done it, Hinata doesnt know how to and he's too short to reach Kageyama. Kageyama leans down because Hinata is making some weird face and Hinata pushes himself up on his toes and kisses Kageyama on the cheek.

The lips are too far for their early stage relationship right now.

But his face turns scarlet and he cycles away home and turns around and laughs when he sees Kageyama wobble in his steps. Not bad for a first valentines.

So as soon as he wakes up, Kageyama NEEDS to plan out today since he and Hinata just got together last week. Only problem is...he's utterly clueless. What's he supposed to get Hinata? Flowers? Chocolates? Those are normal...if you're a girl.

Still, he's unsure but decides to just let today go with the flow. At school, Hinatas been commenting on his 'scary' face which, rude, it's the face he was born with. Hinata tries to give him chocolates but...hes allergic to those specific ones..oops.

He's still pretty much clueless, decides at the last minute that maybe he should do extra volleyball practice because Hinata likes that, only for Nishinoya to explain that he and Asahi are locking up instead. They havent been on a date yet so...maybe a date would be pretty good for today?

So on their walk after school, thankfully Hinata finds something for them to do! He finds a poster for a new arcade that's opened and he literally just called him a loser...

Challenge accepted!

Hinata somehow wins the air hockey game three times in a row, cheating obviously, until they both settle on a coin slot game. No way Hinata could cheat on that...

He doesn't, but now Hinata has a new motive and that's to get the most ugliest nose keychain in the world...it even has kawaii eyes on it, as if that'll make it look cute.

In the end, Hinata doesn't win the keychain, but he does instead. He keeps it for a while because...is he supposed to give it to him right now? Later?

They end up walking to a certain path that they'll split ways when Kageyama finally decides to hand over the ugly stupid keychain that makes Hinata smile so much.

"Yeah, just keep it, or throw it away, or keep it..."

And then Hinata would surprise him by making some sort of...weird face by widening his eyes and suddenly theres lips on his cheek and...wow, they technically just kinda kissed in some sort of weird way...

Before he knows it, Hinatas cycled away and he needs to walk home and...wow, his legs are so wobbly right now.

Thank God Hinata can't see his embarrassing smile right now.

Hopefully valentines will be the same next year.

She's not really bothered about valentines to be honest. She's just getting right into her studies and managing the volleyball team etc...

During school, she spots several couples acting all loved up because of the day and...well, she just passes by. She's not one for poking around in anyones personal business, even if it is just something silly like receiving a box of chocolates.

Her only thought right now is...why is she the manager of a ridiculous childish volleyball team?

Because it certainly looks like Tanaka is proposing to Nishinoya and the libero is hiding some sort of letter behind his back. Oh. Tanaka is using his girl voice...isnt it usually the guy who proposes?

Still, she cant help but let out an adorable giggle which attracts Tanakas attention and suddenly, he's bounding over towards her with his face flushed red. He shouts her name loudly, once exactly and then suddenly retracts and spins around and sprints out the hallway.

What...just happened?

Later, at practice, Kiyoko ends up getting a call from her mum, warning her that it's still quite dark at night so she was to be careful.

Tanaka, being the loud person with a heightened sense of hearing, decides to shout and declare that he'll walk her home and...well, maybe a bit of company would be nice?

Maybe she should put Tanaka out of his misery already...

Nah, she's way too playful like that.

"Maybe...maybe you can walk me home?"

And Tanaka? Well, he does his usual adorable cheer that he does and they're on their way! She refuses to let him hold her bag though, shes self independent that way.

Its decided as soon as the clock struck midnight and its valentines, but he decides that he wants to make today a day that Kiyoko will remember!

Obviously he'll get the bro advice from Nishinoya since he has also asked for some advice. So, he ends up heading to school, bumps into Nishinoya who is...screaming about a letter that was posted through his door that morning and Tanaka can only snort at the original poem that's been written inside.

He advises his bro that he should totally just let it play out, be all romantic and even does a simple drama performance for him to follow. And then...Kiyoko is standing there looking perfect as per usual and she blinks twice and suddenly, his feet have left the floor, ready to shout for Kiyoko to hear his confession!

Wait

Hes supposed to be all suave and romantic, especially on the most romantic day of the year. So he stops, clears his throat and spins around and sprints out of there, embarrassed! He was totally NOT cool!

Later at practice, he hears Kiyoko mention that they'll be finishing up soon and then answers her phone. Tanaka just so happens to be standing nearby and hears Kiyokos mother mention how dangerous the streets are because it's still quite dark. This could be his chance!

He could totally walk her home, right? At least occupy her?

"Oi! Kiyoko! I can walk you home if you want!"

For a second, it seems like shes gonna just ignore him again, but then she gives him the most adorable tiny smile ever and nods ever so slightly.

"Maybe...maybe you can walk me home?"

Then hes ready to run away because Kiyoko ignoring him is pretty hot but-hang on, she just said...

Yes!

"Spending valentines with Kiyoko!"

She smiles again and he notices her bag and holds a hand out.

"I'll carry your bag!"

"No thanks"

Where to begin?

Asahi ends up having a nightmare of a valentines! Hes spent every single day of being in Nishinoyas presence, debating whether he should confess to him or not. He ends up asking for Asahi and Sugas advice over the phone for several nights before he finally comes up with the idea.

A letter? That's pretty basic and even Nishinoya should understand the concept behind that. So he wrote one out, maybe the original poem was too much but he had too many things to say and a poem sounds like it should be enough to express his feelings.

He slides it into Nishinoyas foot locker and sprints away before the said boy comes in and catches him. Now he just needs to wait.

So naturally, in class, he cant concentrate. He cant focus on any of his schoolwork and Suga ends up flicking him on the back of the head with a rubber during class because he can literally see Asahi shaking that much...

Why did he ask Nishinoya to stay behind after practice again? Why did he write that? Nishinoya probably wants a different valentines. What if he rejects him? What if he decides that he just...oh god. What if he quits the team? Never speaks to him again? Could he be reading all of Noyas signals wrong?

Something hard hits the back of his head again and he turns around and theres Suga again with his criticising look. The teacher yells and he turns back around with an apology. How embarrassing.

Later, at practice, he's ready to freak out again because Kageyama asks Nishinoya if he and Hinata could lock up. They'd recently become a couple...what if Noya said yes? Asahi wouldnt be able to give his confession...

Thankfully, Noya says no with an apology and then a short explanation that he and Asahi would do it instead. Then Daichi is running over and patting Asahi on the back with a calm 'Try not to freak out. Dont worry, just worry about Suga if you do end up chickening out' and then hes away again!

When it's just the two of them, they clean up together, quietly until Nishinoya finally pulls out the letter from his bag and looks up at Asahi.

"This letter..."

And of course...he freaks out.

"Umm! Oh! It's just...you dont have to read it, well even though it looks like you already have, but it's not worth reading, I suppose you could just look at it as a joke if you want to, but even though it's real...I'm sorry if it wasted your time!"

And to his surprise, Nishinoya only laughs and wiggles the letter in his hand.

"It didn't waste my time, but...are you serious? About your feelings...about you liking me since I was a first year?"

"Mhmm! Of course! I just...sorry, that probably sounded creepy!"

"Eh? No! No of course not!"

"But it's the truth! I'm completely honest! You...you're the best person to have ever come into my life so...so please hear my confession! I...I love you Noya!"

He's pretty sure he hears Noya chuckle for a bit and he wishes he could see him, but suddenly tears are building in his eyes and the thought of rejection from Nishinoya of all people is enough to make him cry.

His body is suddenly falling forwards, Noya is falling backwards because hes grabbed onto him but Asahi is fast, so he loops his arms around Noya and straightens them up so they're standing. Noya grins and then pushes forwards for a hug and presses his forehead against Asahis forehead, his blonde fringe pushing against the aces headband. Asahi can only sigh in relief because thank god...he couldn't imagine going on in life if this turned out differently.

He's never really thought about valentines to be honest. He's always had one person in mind and he's pretty sure that's rude to try and confess to your upperclassmen. Sure he plays along with Tanaka to protect Kiyoko, but its more of a...let's protect the girl because guys are creepy predators kinda thing...

Anyways, he heads to school like a normal day, changes shoes and...is that a letter?

It totally is!

Someone just...this is definitely Asahis handwriting! This was a dream, right? If so, please dont wake him up!

He reads the inside, smiles at the cute poem and when he realises theres a message asking to stay behind after practice so they could talk, he fist pumps the air and rushes to find Tanaka.

He shows him the letter, asks for advice and all Tanaka does is simply tell him to let the day play it out, just like a volleyball game. He even gets down on one knee and pretends to propose, as if that'll happen today.

Still, he keeps it in mind, not for...future reasons...

He watches Tanaka sprint over to Kiyoko within seconds and then run away and remembers that he and Tanaka were on the phone last night. The future ace had declared that he wanted valentines to go perfectly for Kiyoko, so he would act like the perfect gentleman!

Still, he waves to Kiyoko and heads to class.

The rest of the day, he doesnt see Asahi which isnt much of a surprise since they're in different years. He has caught sight of Suga and Daichi kissing at some point and frowns.

If he and Asahi were to get together, there would surely be a lot of looks. People already mistook him as an elementary kid and Asahi as a grown man who is also apparently a delinquent. But hey, when was he to care about looks?

He looks away from Suga and Daichi in the distance and lightly pats his burning cheeks twice before shaking his head. He liked Asahi, no, he loved Asahi! He'd admired the man from day one!

So when it comes to the end of practice which is cut fairly short, he has to quickly explain to Kageyama that he and Asahi would be locking up instead. Kageyama looks slightly annoyed but hey, he always looks like that. He ends up showing Asahi the letter and of course, the big ball of anxiety starts to flip.

But in the end, Asahi confesses properly...reveals that he's liked Noya from day one and...

"I love you too you big baby! Oi! Why are you crying?! I accepted your confession! Baka!"

And then he lunges forwards to try and grab Asahi into a hug but they end up staggering for a bit and...god, he wishes Asahi would just stop crying! He does though, and they hug and Noya really wants to kiss him right now, but hes pretty sure the ace would faint if he did it right now. So he settles for a forehead touch, just so he can reassure Asahi that he's there and...he's not planning on going away anytime soon.

He's there, he's not disappearing and even when Asahi graduates, he knows they'll still be together, no matter what obstacle they face.

#tsukkiyama #daisuga #kagehina #tanaka x kiyoko #asanoya #tsukishima #yamaguchi #daichi #suga #kageyama #hinata #tanaka #shimizu kiyoko #asahi #nishinoya #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #happy valentines day

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just-some-random-blogger · 5 years

Text

December Dates

Seventeen Summary: In the spirit of Christmas, boyfriend!svt is here to take you on a date. Word Count: 3k+ Warnings: Fluff, crackkkkkk, v many typos,etc.

R E Q U E S T

my friend: seventeen + cute

A/N: HO HO HO MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU HOS (jk) HAHAHAHAHAHHA. Also ashdiepl because im writing on a tab, i couldnt add any gifs so aksjemksksmsksksmskskdk alsO im so sorry i dont remember if the request is platonic or nah but kaksksksk this is what u get soz

-----

Alright

So no gifs

Imma just do a header real quick so u know wassap

S. Coups

Das better

hi header

I might delete u later if i get on a pc

But firsT seuNgcheEolL

*deep breath*

Ho u lucky enough to breath the same air he does

N now u are on aa date with him

WoWw

So bf!seungcheol is a cute lil snowflake

Which means he'll buy u an ugly ass Christmas sweater and matching gloves

THAT MATCHES THE ONES HE BOUGHT FOR HIMSELF OFC

then yall go out and play in the powdery snow outside

ImGine seungcheol grabbing yOuR hand

cebAuse u a dumb loser that slips on nothing

Also warmth

pulling your scarf up a bit because he can tell you're getting cold

Then like a gentleman

will pUSH U INTO THE SNOW

AND START A FRICKIN SNOW WAR

HE'll hit ur dumb face he dont care

He'll maKe u wish u Stayed damn home

Rapid fire frikin snow granades man

Course iz all a bita fun

Then he'll let u win

Cause he does care Bout ur dumb Fce

Also he soft for u gross

Then once that's done he'll start laughing

Not because of post-snow ball fight adrenaline

But because he thinks himself so funny

When he busts a lung screaming "dO Ya wana biLd aSNOEMAN!!!!!"

AND THEN U decline and leave him in the snow

"YAAAAA WE HAVE TO BUILD A SNOWMAN THOUGH!" he'll laugh

U literally wana leave him and his annoying ass

U stomp away

He laughs and goes after u

His hot breath is visible

and hits your ear when he comes up and wraps his arms around you from behind

U be like, "listen stupid, u corny af, lets break up"

Seungcheol would pout and kiss ur cheek, "nah, u still owe me hot choco. Break up with me after paying me back."

"Ew, why would i pay u back tho"

"Uh cause if you don't imma do thisss," then he proceeds to shove u into the snow again

"CHOI. SEUNG. CHEEOOOLLLLLLLLLLALAKAKAOKS!"

Ok well i have to cut this here first cos there are 12 boys left

Oh Hi hello u here back to ur regular programme

Jeonghan

Yiz

Unlike cheol

Dis ho not about to get cold 4 u uhm

Leave the cold for someone else

But get warm together

I mean

Wink wINKkkkk

Jk gtfo

This is a wholesome headcanon

Git warm he would gladly

So u know what dat means

CUddlEs

Imagine cuddling jeonghan

BoIii

It's da holidays

Which mean he bout to get dat $$$leep

Of course u dont mind that ur just sleeping in

Gurl if ya do

Let me stress out

If you mind sleeping in and cuddling with yoon jeong han

GUrL

Wathu doin????

AnYWAY

ITz u and him right

Ur in bed reading the novel he got u beforehand right

Look at u looking cute in knit sweater and glasses

EVEN IF U DONT NEED THEM THERE ARE GLZSSES

IM TRYING TO MAKE A SCENE HERE WORK WITH ME

it could be jeonghan's ur using it as a headband shhhh

So like ur sitting down

N beside u its jeonhan v slightly snoring

Right right right

Then ur like "man i want something to eat cause i've been sitting here reading all day"

But also ur always hungry

Cause who isnt tho lol

ANYWAY UR ABOUT TO STZND UP

but jeonghan like a needy ho is like noooooooooooodontgo

N ur like

aww wat a needy ho

"Jeonghan im just gonna get something to eat"

"Eat laterrr, i need u now"

He'll keep his eyes shut and shimmy over

Securing an arm on your hip so u wont go

U roll ur eyes and put your book away on the cabinet next u

"Jeonghan ive literally been next to u since last night. I'm just gonna get something to eat, and 4 u 2!"

He'll flutter his eyes open only to close them and move even closer to place his head on ur lap

"I dont want toooooo"

U roll ur eyes again and shimmy out of his grip

But only to get into his arms and hide your face in his chest

"You're so needy," u note

"Says you who's tangling themselves on me"

"Touché"

Joshua

Okay

Get this

Joshua and gingerbread houses

He probably used to build one growing up

And he has just the person in mind he wants to rekindle the tradition with

Congrats u filthy animal

So he took the liberty of getting allll u and he would need

And so much more

Im talking chocolate bars

Shipped cream

Candy canes

Busicuits

Edible glitter

Gum drops

Shrek 1 2 3 4

Is there a four

Im too lazy to google it

And omg u so special to him he loves u so much

Screw u

He wants to share the love with the carats

So he vlives it all

And at first ur shy

Like what if the joshua stans come 4 u

Ok but in this story yall had already annouce ur relationship

AND EVERYONE HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO BE COOL WITH IT FFS LET UR FAVES DATE WHOEVER THEY WANT ISTG

Joshua is like "noo don be shy they'll all love u"

(':

N ur like ok cos i love u sm

But not like the company sm tho *barfing noises*

So yall build a gingerbread house and do a whole ass tutorial about it

Except u dont

Cause yal are morons and could stop messing up or earing the ingredients along the way

Sorry honey ur morons i dont make the rules

"Stop eating the marshmallows!"

"U literally finished the bowl of mnms tho Joshua!"

"Uh no that was the gingerbread man,"

ANd then u all bicker like children because u are omfl

And it excalates

fooD FIGHT

U smear cream on joshuas face

He sprinkles sprinkles on ur head

U press graham crackers against either of his cheeks and ask him what he is

"A sexy graham sandwich"

"Ew no wrong answer," u reply

Can i just point out that that chocolate syrup stain is never coming off

*cough cough cough moron cough cough*

Jun

Imma bout to yeet

Junhui is also feeling nostalic

super soft super baby

And since he's probably feeling bit homesick somewhere in there

he thinks he can remedy it with a bit of chinese home cooking!!!

And whiney needy cuddles also yay

Moving on so

Will it be good?

Damn straight

itll be fikin delish

Will you try to to help him

Of course u gotta help ur man

But like duh

u have eyes

And seeing him all focus and busy and hot

Is really distracting

So like ur as useful as a broken button to him

He doesnt mind tho

He thinks ur cute

Also lovng the attnstion

But the thing about not helping

Not really

And being distracted by a cutie pie

Is that it's basicaly a disaster ending to happen so like

he's efficiently stirring up so hot stuff right

And ur like "man jun's some hot stuff"

And then BaaaaM

U knock over the damn chopping board with the knife and everything on it

Thank goodness the thing didn't chop through your foot of anything

And jun is like "oHMYGOSH DA HELL R U OK"

"... i- im sorry i knocked over ur potatoes"

"My poTaToeS! Listen rn im glad u didnt chop ur foot off"

Jun sighs and looks at the cubes of taters scattered on the floor

You frown, feeling useless

Both of u pick up ur mess

Jun puts down the kitchen utensils in hand

u picked up the last of the potatoes

"Hey we could always wash those, it's not like the floor is mud or anything, even then , potates came from mud"

"Yeah but im sorry, i wanst really helping in the first place"

Jun smirks, "nonsense! U were feeding my ego! That's enough for me!"

You snort and jun comforts u with a tight embrace

Hoshi

AlrighT fam

I thought of something pretty cute but pretty dumb for hoshi

He's like "imma do something super romantic for Christmas"

So he's like "wear something cute we gon do smth fun" @ u

So u do

U get a cute little red dress just for the occasion

And soonyoung his like "BRO MY GIRL SO SUPER CUTE"

And ur like a blushing mess cause he looks super excited with his big smile and cresent eyss

ahhh Hhh myHOSishiii fealzssmsmmsms

Anyway u think ur gonna go to some cute restaurant right

But hoshi brings u to the mall

To instead join the couples dancing contest

Soonyoung gets super nervouse at ur surprised reaction

He's like, "omg is this a super bad idea i thought it would be cute but like i guess not we dont have to go we could always just drop out"

You laugh and shake ur head, "no it's all good, but i mean like, we don't have a choregraphy, and im not like you who can just break it down."

Soonyoung lets out a breath and chuckles, "nah don't worry. It's not really a compation-competion, and regardless, they're going to show ius a choreo and the couple that best interprets wins a a romantic date for two, fit for a dancing king and queen"

And then u break into a big uwu

"Omg u are super romantic soonyoung"

He struts a pose and chuckles, "i mean, i try"

So you both participate in the contenst

Kinda zumba it out by folling the instructors

Soonyoung is helping you out with your form and explaining to you the steps

He gets a little competative so he doesn't really want to mess us

Up hearing you giggle when you do a s pin breaks his competative spirit

And all he really cares about is having a good time with you

Aleight

But admitedly

He was pretty annoyed when they annouced the winner

Were not the two off you

i mean you lot were the cutest it can gt

Who else could trump that

But then you both saw that the winners were 80 something yesr olds holding hand and looking at each other like the other was their world

and then soonyoung was like "okay valid"

You pout, "aww i hope we end up like that"

Soonyound and you turn to each other

He grins for ear to ear, "then lets go on a romantic date as well"

"I thought you'd never ask"

Wonwoo

LiNda

I hope you're ready for wonwoo

Because i sure as hell am not

So in case youre wondering

Youre crazy I mean youre reading this arent you

Prolly at midnight hi fam

Again i dont make the rules

Well just a btw Almost every

Christmas tradition is pagan

Like the tree

The wreath

And SANTA IS SO CREEPY YALL NEED TO GET UR CHILDREN AWAY FROM HIM

SO MAYbe ur not all that crazy

For not wanting to continue them on

i mean sure u can give new meaning to things

But you wanted none of that

Which was whyyyy you decided to DIY the decorations to your entire house

Nnd who else are you going to do that with other than your loving bb boyfriend wonwoo

Wonwoo doesn't mind

He thinks its cute

Because it is a cute date idea

Youtube tutorials

Pinterest ideas and paper snowflakes and all

Yeah

so wonwoo is there cutting up some of the paper you folded

You're glueing some popsicle sticks

He's water coloring some designs in

Youre pulling on the tape dispenser

It's all going great

"Jagiya... i don't want to sound mean but-"

"They're all ugly as hell. I know Wonwoo."

Wonwoo gives an apologetic look.

For a moment u two dont speak

And then you both brust into laughter

"Aww whatever, lez stick em on!"

And do you get your badly painted slowflakes

Your wolf drawing

"That's a wolf?"

"Duh what else would it be wonwoo?"

The letters that spelled merry chrsitmas

And the doodle cutouts of the seventeen members

in personalized ugly sweaters

And placed them all over the place

You look around basking in the glory of ur craft

Its all very colorful

And crafty

And looking like a child made it

Then like an imbecile

U break into laughter

"It looks like a kindergartener's classroom"

U end up roasting yourself

Making fun of your sloppy handwork

And wonwoo watches u

with adoring eyes

"I almost forgot," wonwoo speaks up and pulls out a piece of paper

You recive it from him and break into a smile

"Is this us?"

Wonwoo snorts, "no its jeonghan hyung in a dress holding my hand sweetheart"

For a moment u believe him

But then he breaks out into laughter

Woozi

Boi imma fite u

Christmas carols

Okay idek why i ended up so serious with wonwoo

But listennup

Im not about to maypke it crackier

so back to christmas carols

Dis boi is about to serande you with a christmas themed love song

So its around 8pm at night

Jihoon has is guitar

and ur just chilling right

and ur on ur phone letting him do his thing

but then from the floor he was sat on

he turns to you on the couch

And pats ur leg

"Yo i just finished my song u wann hesr"

You squeak and jump of the couch next to him

"Duh dummy!"

And he starts singing

He's talking about stars and warmth

He's spittin fire about the smell of hot choco

The he's talking sbout how lame joshua's gingerbread house was

Next thing you know ur crying

because omg that ginger bread houseWAS UGLY

also jihoooooooooooooon just serenaded you

Dont u just

Then jihoon catches you and panicks

"You okay? Why are you cryin?!"

"HowDARS YOU ASK ME THAT LISTEN UP U JUST SAID SOME SWEET WORDS TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!!!!!!!"

JIHOON CALms down

But u crybaby cant stop crying

and of course jihoon panicks again

So he starts singing some other Christmas song

And then u start crying about poor rudolf

And remember regina george

But then eventually you calm down

And decide to nuzzle up against jihoon who replaced his guitar with you in his arms

Then us fall asleep with him sweetly singing about the spirit of Christmas

Liz gittit

Of course this ray of light just wants to give off energy to the world

And since he

And u u forgetful ass

Forgot to go shopping for presents

You decided to go on a dec 24th shopping trip!

Hurrah!

But it was too eady for u two

Like wtf

Gift giving Is suuch and easy task

And shoping a day before Christmas

pshhhhhhh

Its a heartbeat

"Whoever gets the best gifts gets for the best price gets to boss the other around until new year," seokmin grins

You knit your brows deeply at his words

And wonder what the hell he has in plan for him to think of doing something so ensnaring

So being the smarter one in the relationship

"Uh no??"

Seokmin was like "ok then the other has to do whatever the other says for the entirety of Christmas"

"???? Whyyyyy?"

"Because its not challengeing or fun if there isn't any condition" "Ugh fine"

So the two of you zip around looking for the best gifts you could get

You try to stay away from the people doing their last minute shopping

Seokmin doesnt dare go in between an old lady mouthing of another customer

Tbh its super stressful

wtf

what kind of date is this

Only morons would do this wtf

Both of you got shoved constantly

There wasnt really much space to move around

And there wasnt really anything to choose from

But hey guess what

Seokmin found some really cool gifts

"Daheck did u get that shirt?"

"Isle five. There were a bunch of people grabbing some stuff and this fell to the ground and so i picked it up and thought it was pretty cool"

You on the other hand got like ok gifts

I mean theyre not bad

But da hell did dk get a frikin eeyore onesie idek

It was no contest.

Seokmin defo won

"Yisss so i win therefor u have to make me some Christmas cookies tomorrow"

"U ho did u really just make me suffer through that so you could ask me to make cookies 4 u???"

"Yes but we really didn have gifts tho."

U roll ur eyes

Seokmin's face falls, "r... r u like mad @ me?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhh"

You knit your brows at him but release a smile when u see his nervous look

"No babo. Im jusy tired, lezgo back home"

He sighs and nods, kissing your cheeks

"Dont worry baby, ill carry all of this back home"

Which he does

And when u get back

He says he forgot something in the car

then comes bzck

And then forcefully turns u around

Ur about to protest

But the you realize he's putting on a silver necklace on u

"Yahhhh seokminie, u shouldnt have. Where you even get this"

"I bought it a while back, duh" he chuckles then kisses you on the cheek

"Merry christmas jagi"

Mingyu

You are a genius for getting boyfriend like mingyu

uh and super lucky like fu--

BUT TODAY

Ur extra glad that mingyu is 10ft tall

Because ur going to be decorating your very own tree

Wow

You bought he prettiest glass ornamnets

and the sparkliest streamers

"I have a vision," u explain

Mingyu nods in understanding

U and him lift the tree into the living room

And then u start decorating the tree from the bottom up

Its all rly chill

You lot are chatting about whatever

He's tellling you about ur tour n stuff

U put on some Christmas tunes for flare

And then u stand up from the floor and boogey with each other

Yall shake ur butts

and go around the tree wrapping it in tinself

Mingyu steals one of the ornaments from u

and u try to take it back from him like the genius u are

Except hes holding it over his head

N u cant for the life of u reach his hand up there

So u step on his foot

And punch his stomach

And he bends down in reaction

In pain

Soz

He was asking for it

U steal the decor back

Then he proceeds to chase u around because aparently ur the bully

*instert pikachu meme here*

N then u get back towork

Or i mean take a break

And u eat a bunch of holiday special junk

And then u get back to work

"ok nows for the star"

U hand him the star because its the entire point of his existance

getting that star up ther

with his longass arms

He turns to u "u dont wanna put it"

BOI

u suck in a breath

"I cant frIKICN REACH IT U LIL"

He give a face, "there are ways"

"My go-- just put the AHHHHHHH"

AND THEN THE NEXT THING U KNOW

Hes crouching down pulling ur legs on his shoulders

"MINGYU PUT ME DOWN" you say, about to rip of his face

Mostly because u have nothi to hold onto

but he stands

with u on his shoulders

and walks to the tree

"Put the damn thing on before u fall!!"

Wow its ur fault again

And screaming u put the star on

And mingyu putz u down

"Okay that was stressful"

U punch him in the gut again

The8

Minghao is super tired

But super looking forward to spending time with u

So u defintely go on a date

But its of the lazy movie watch variety

Im talking all the chesey romance movies

Set in december

that has like mistletoe kisses

And snow scenes

And also those holiday specials

For catroons

And non cartoons

Even the one with arnold swartzimacallit

You pull out the laptop

And get on netflix

There's popcorn on

And hot tea

Or whatever the hell

Its all just very warm

and u and minghao are wrapped together in a warm blanket

Ur nestled in between is legs and ur super warm and cozy and im so soft bleh

"Oh oh, u should see this part, its my fav--"

But u stop uourself when u turn and see minghao fell asleep

U coo and let him obvi

taking unflattering pictures duh

But also cute ones because

#couplegoals

He doesn't sleep through all the movies though

You end up watching non christmas themed films too

Like toy story4

OKAY I CRIED AT THE ENDING

PIXAR IS REALLY COMING FOR MY WIG

"You look really cute cuddled up against me" he'll randomly blurt

U feel ur cheeks brun at that

but no he cant have that

"I thought i was always cute"

He chuckles and groans as he hugs u tightly

U laugh at his reaction

"Of course you're always cute"

"Ok but the teddy bear u got me is actually cuter"

"Nononono, the teddy is cute but uuu are cuter"

"Were u always this gross?"

Seungkwan

Okay

before u tell me these are getting worse and worse every passing member

i would first like to say i know

and that seungkwan bought u a cute dress for Christmas

and took u to a fancy restaurant

Ok ur welcome

But like even if it werent fancy

U'd still like it

cause holy guacamole

imagine holding seungkwans hand as u walk around

Jsut being so head over heels

and super in love with the cutie

Groooossss

LinDA

The feeling is mutual for him when he's around u

so he stops mid conversations

just to take ur pic

Its kinda annoyig

but kinda cute

"Hey unknow hansol told me about-- what are u doing"

"No go on, im just talking ur picture"

Literally the bst hype man alive

Will make take dozen upon dozen photos of u

And will make u pose for aethetics

He will go on making sure everyone knows u da hottest ho in the place

n ur like "seungkwan stfu u embarrassssing meee"

And then oml

Some moron tries to hit on u

and seungkwan sqwares up ready to hit a fool

would he actually do it i mean

prolly Not

but then again he looked really mad

So u calm him down

and u go bzck home

And the cuddles

"Baby girl im sorry if i embarrassed u"

"Nah itz chill i mean i know u have good intentions"

U smile and he takes another candid phto of u

"Broooooo!!"

"Im donnnr. Now hows about we get rid of that dress"

Vernon

okay im willing to guess hansol loves drinking hot chocolate in the winter

So he's like

"Lets do a hot choco review"

And buys 897 types of hot choco

Or like ten

wtf eight hundres pluss is too much

So ur like okay i like hot choco

and then he pulls out his phone and does a vlive

"No i am not jealous of joshua hyungs vlive with his gf"

Yall make like ten cups of hot choco

and is chaotic

Idek how u could get injured

But hey

It wasnt even the hot water invovled

but the wrapping of the choco powder

"Technical difficulties hansol is a big moron"

U get him a bandaid

"Ya! I am not"

Yall start reviewing anyway

*insert try guys eugenes voice*

Im rihght

Ur wong

Shut up

After trying the first onw

Ur like wow dis is good

the second was even better

The third one u hold

then u realized there were eight more cups

And that u made so

much

so u were like "omf there is too much "

then u debated whether or not calling seventeen to drink the rest

But then hansol was like "ther isnt enough for themm"

Then ur like

"okay whatabout making a super hotchoco"

n vernon was like

????

"THATS THE BEST IDEA UVE EVVER HAD"

SO YALL GET A BIGASS POT

MIX THE REST IN

REALIZE U HAVENT RATED THE other cups

Shrug it off

and get a cup of the hot choco mix

"Tastes like corn"

"Bish dafaq"

Dino

Yikes

Chan is a dumb ho

and got himself sick at Christmas so

nononoono thats a no to any cute date ideas

and its just you and him staying at home

U personally dont mind

but hes like "awww but i had so many ideas"

but obvi U cant risk him getting any sicker than he already is

So you stay home and take care of him

and all he can do is complain about everything

about the cold

his runny nose

The lack of taste of the food

His head ache

The fact his bed is hot

And that fact that u have to take care of him

And treat him like a baby

"I am not a baby"

"Listen up, u are always gonna be my baby"

"Not u toooooo najsjsjjs"

You make him some hot cocoa

And hes like "im not drinking that if u call me baby again"

"Babybabybabybabybaby"

Ugghgg "If you keep doing that im not going to give u the gift i gotchu"

"Well das on u"

And then u end up going ona glaring contest

Chan ends up giving it to u anyway

"i hope u choke on it" he grumbles with insencerity

U coo when u see that its a handwritten letter

And then u end up crying because hes super soft

N ur super soft

And gahhh u love him so much

Chan pats ur back because he doesnt want to get u sick if he hugs u

U sniffle and wipe ur eyes

"Who's the baby now, cry baby"

You snarl and pinch his side

And now i say

This was probably hecking bzd but i hope u enjoyed

merry CHRISTMAS

ITS MY FABORITE HOLiDAY

TAKE CARE Of urselves mwaah

Support me on ko-fi

38 notes · View notes

tfw-no-tennis · 4 years

Text

hxh RESUME

back at it again w/the hxh, heres my recap of the last few eps

ok so i totally forgot to recap that one ep at the end of the hunter exam arc lets see what i remember from like 3 wks ago lollll

i thiiiiink i left off in the middle of ep 21 lol. i really dont remember much tbh so im gonna skim the ep to refresh

exposition time! its so wild that if you lose ur hunter card That It like u cant get another or retake the exam hgabjdfuhasjf Ls

also the fact that you can sell it is rlly interesting

leorio & kurapika backing up gon as he confronts illumi again :’) good lil family

illumi u fool. gon is a shounen protag. he can do anything he sets his mind to

the fact that gon thanks illumi for telling him where killua is....hes literally THAT polite like...what a perfect boy

hisoka just fuckgin stepping out of the shadows....ok bitch

the fact that gon fucked up illumis arm that bad with one hand....boi is STRONK

AUGH AUGH AUGHHHH HISOKA IS SO CREEPY AUGHHH I HATE THIS BIIIITCH

ok but like is illumi implying that hisoka is a fr p*do bc uhhhhh thats so nasty oh lord. pls stay away from gon, and killua, and like everyone as a matter of fact

EWWWWWWWWWW I HATE HISOKA HES SO NASTY. PLS STOP MAKING P*RNO FACES IN RELATION TO 12 YR OLD BOYS.

no but rlly what IS hisoka gonna do now. im assuming he’ll show up p soon (tho probs not in the zoldyc arc like i thought bc its shorter than i thought)

ok the fact that they have the internet is hilariously wild to me for some reason....it just seems like this would be one of those fantasy shounen worlds with very little tech (a la one piece) but lol nope we can just google shit hvbhjdhjdfks

gon: it was fun when you beat me up for 3 hours and broke my arm! seeya dude!

i love gon he is so chill and doesnt seem to hold grudges except when it really matters (like hisoka and illumi)

hanzo has.....ninja business cards....thats amazing hvbhsdjkujfnd

dont worry pokkle, leorio was basically carried thru the hunter exam by various people and also won by default. he still deserves his license tho

an exotic game hunter sounds pretty cool! i wonder if we’ll see pokkle again. kinda doubt it? that sounds pretty firmly non-combat based, and therefore probably pretty far from any plot lol

so gons dad is a bigshot huh.....whatever hed be a bigger deal if he didnt abandon his son tbh

gon swinging his feet on the bench....sooo cute

so ging could restore a bunch of ruins but he couldnt raise his son...ok

im just gonna be bitter at this guy for abandoning the most perfect boy vhbhjfbsjhdhbfsk sorry dude but being a good hunter doesnt make up for being a shit father

gon is so precious ;_;

WHAT WAS SATOTZ GONNA SAY TO GON???

why does it look like theyre googling things on MS paint

ah yes, padokea, on the continent of Africa But Sideways

idk if i talked abt it before but the world map is WILD lmao i love how its all the continents/landmasses scrambled around.....im super curious abt that weird island in the top center of the map, thats the only thing that immediately sticks out as not having a real life equivalent

the music in this show is so charming :’) i love the main theme sm

gon is sooo precious i literally cant get over it. and his hurry to rescue killua is so sweet....and i love how naturally charming/charismatic gon is....pretty much everyone he meets likes him, especially leorio and kurapika, who basically adopted him after knowing him for like a day, and continue to be completely taken by him

ok wtf is satotz & co talking abt......do they know something abt ging that they arent allowed to tell gon???? shouldnt gon have access to the same info now that hes a hunter? i need ANSWERS

i bet this whole thing abt the hunter exam not rlly being over is a metaphor abt the hunter exam NEVER truly ending bc youre always being tested, or st

ok the ED continues to be So Much like especially the last shot where the 4 main characters look like theyre posing for a JC Penny catalog while the singer goes FULL metal-screamo

ok ruth and i just rewatched the next two eps woohoo

i love that there are tourist busses that take people to the front gates so they can like pose for pics and stuff vhbhjafdsfkj and its like ‘ah yes here are where the local assassins live!’ thats so funny yet it makes so much sense

i love that leorio passed tf out during the bus ride. big big mood

gon is so cute...hes like ok yes i understand that we’re not supposed to go in but i think they can make an exception for me bc im very polite.

those 2 dudes r so ugly and so dead god bless

that bigass buster sword....sir please

ruth and i rlly thot that the old guard guy was gonna turn out to be grandpa zoldyk or st lol

the fact that the dog managed to eat All their flesh but left some clothes....skill

also the dog is named mike but it sounds like the guy is calling him miku hvbjdfssk

this cant be the first time some morons have been killed here likeeee

i cant believe nobody has visited the zoldyk estate in 20 years damn they all rlly b havin no friends. depressing

the whole gates thing is wild. also that part where gon gets the math wrong on the weight.....BIG mood kiddo

ok the part where gons on the phone w/the butler is soooo good oh man. i love how gon just calmly dials the phone again after hes hung up on the first time and then YELLS....and leorio and kurapikas faces r so good

also the butler guy unfortunately has a point, it isnt foolproof that gon is here Legit....but he IS let him see his tiny bf :(

as ruth pointed out, the butler guy is reminiscent of kuro from one piece. same vibes

maybe if leorio was jacked like he is in the manga/1999 anime he couldve opened the gate that first time around....Ls

god i love this shows approach to Everything so far,....as ruth put it, half the time its like ‘oh wow they should do [x]/i wish theyd do [x] but ofc they wont cause its a shounen’ but then they DO do [x] and its like damn thats dope

anyways i love how gon is increasingly approaching situations with his Plucky Shounen Protag Attitude in full swing, and he pretty much gets shot down every time. BUT his general determination to see killua bc killuas his FRIEND and hes gonna RESCUE HIM is still a good and pure motivating force

like here, when hes climbing over the wall and hes like whatever i dont wanna have to deal w/being tested thats bullshit, i wanna see killua, my intentions are pure, im gonna try my luck with the dog....i was like ok yeah he’ll get over and like tame or defeat the dog and the guard will be suitably impressed bc nobodys ever done That before, and then gon will continue on to get killua

but NOPE instead the guard calls him down and explains that gon Will Die if he tries that, and then the guard will die too for letting that happen. and gon is like oh shit my actions have consequences for people other than me, wow.

and THEN the guard takes them in to meet the dog. and hot DAMN that is a scary creature. not even really a dog tbh. they did an excellent job making the dog Legit Scary and not just like, big and flashy looking....those eyes are so soulless, and the proportions are freaky

and the guard says exactly what i was thinking - that gon would use his Country Boy Woodland Creature Skills to workaround the dog....but then the subversion - this creature is NOTHING like the woodland critters gon is probably used to dealing with. theres no way gon stood a chance here. the guard just saved him from a really unfortunate death

i love all the Super Heavy Stuff in the servant house that seems so inconvenient vbhjdkfasjfld. also forgot to mention earlier but the guard guy being Absolutely Ripped was wild and kinda funny

training montage! gon continues to be so cute. and i love so much how leorio and kurapika are like no, you rest, we’ll take care of this. good parents!!!!

and then!!!! they sync up and use the power of gay love to almost open the gate. but then gon uses the power of Improbable Shounen Protag Healing Speed to toss that arm sling off and help out

i feel like leorio was side-eyeing gon like w8 a sec u broke that arm like a few days ago that aint right.....

oh man i almost forgot abt that scene with the zoldyks torturing killua :( :( this poor kid he doesnt deserve that

also mom zoldyck seems truly awful but i must say her aesthetic does fuck. the victorian-lookin outfit paired with the futuristic cyclops visor thing....excellent. also im betting this face bandages are from killua cutting her face

this family is so fucked up hvbsjdhjfbakdfn

killua telling his mom that gon is definitely gonna make it there :’) hes got such unshakable faith in his bf thats so good.....

back w/the gang, and immediately they run into more trouble in the form of the young girl butler, whose name i dont know, but i love her....her design is SO good oh man. a non-caricature black person? who also isnt sexualized? in MY anime??????

i love how gons approach to conflict is currently ‘let more powerful person beat me up for hours straight in hopes that they get tired or something idk bro’ like....i love him lol, is it in an effort to show how determined he is? he doesnt even try to dodge her blows or get around her....id be tryin to hop that fence lol

oh shit the tiny zoldyk kid from earlier is spying on them....she was w/the mom so im sure thats not good

when he punches the rock part and it breaks....strong boiiii

oh man that little flashback from when killua first came back and told her that he made a friend ;_; bruh

i love butler girl :( she wants to let gon but knows it isnt allowed....and as soon as she starts to waver BAM here comes mom zoldyck JFC that was so sudden and jarring....im assuming butler girl isnt dead cause that would be lame and anticlimactic

also IS THAT NEN??? NEN>>>??? NEN??? HM? NEN?????????

im so annoying abt nen i need to make one of those ‘is this a pigeon?’ memes w/’is this nen?’ bc thats me anytime anything remotely weird happens lmao

i do think its rlly nen this time tho

anyways shit is wild, cant wait to meet the full zoldyck family

PREDICTION CORNER:

as i said above i doubt hisoka will show up now bc this arc is a lot shorter than i anticipated. also im doubting that illumis even gonna show up honestly

i think we’re gonna have this OP for a while, as the part just at the end shows gon and hisoka fighting in what looks to be an arena, and ik the next arc is the heavens arena arc, which im assuming is the tournament arc....

also i have no idea what that weird building in the OP is but my guess is that its the building w/the heavens arena in it bc its tall and,,,,heaven

i predict there wont be much fighting in this little arc bc how tf else is it so short. at this point i rlly think gon is just gonna grab killua and go lmao. im super curious abt how thats gonna go down, considering that killua is currently strung up just bc he wont apologize...so i cant imagine his family would just let him leave w/gon. i wonder if killua will fight them, or if gons determination will impress them and then theyll let killua go (doubt it)

thats basically it....we’ll see abt the next few eps holla

#lj watches hxh #hxh #woohoo continuation

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imjustkindafloating · 5 years

Text

isn’t it lovely, all alone? ch 1

its 1 am, i just finished this after 2 days of work. thank u to the wonderful @high-ashell-hargrove and @loud_anon for helping me write and revising

relationship: soon to be lamp

summary: Patton is sad because he's alone, and plans to go to his kingdoms plaza

words: 1,248 (the longest one in a while)

trigger warnings: slight neglect, pattons mother is very creepy, crying, parents death (mentioned)

ALRIGHT HERE WE GO

-----

One of the first things Patton remembers is laughter, the crinkle of his mother's nose as he sat in her lap. He remembers his father picking him up from her lap, and throwing him in the air. He remembered his childish giggles, his parents smiling with him. He remembers when he was tucked into his bed that night.

“Mommy? Can you tell me a story.”

“Of course, my dear!” Patton's mother, Octavia, smiled. Her soft smile and caramel eyes made him feel secure. His mother hummed for a moment, thinking of a story in her mind. Once she stopped humming, she smiled wide.

“Now, dear, have I ever told you the tale of Danielle the Great?” Octavia beamed. Patton eagerly shook his head, anticipation creeping up his spine.

“Danielle, you see, was a warrior, one of the best, in fact! She fought against the most horrid people.”

“What kind of people?” “Corrupted people. People whose darkness had crept into their hearts and ate at their souls until nothing was left. Nothing but hate. Danielle never regretted anything.”

“Nothing at all, Mommy?”

“Well, there was one thing.”

“Mommy, tell me! Tell me, tell me, tell me, please!”

“Calm down little one. Danielle was one of the best warriors, yes, but she had one deep regret. It was that she left her duties. You see, Danielle was a princess before a warrior, but she gave away fame and riches to fight the evil people.”

“Is that bad?”

“Of course it is, dear Patton. When one has a duty to their nation, they must fulfill it at any cost. It's what you must do.” Octavias eyes grew dark, and her smile turned cold.

“Patton, you have a duty to this nation, you must rule over it with a wonderful wife at your side, once your father and I have let you, of course. There is a reason we are more feared than loved, my dear.”

“But, mommy, why can’t I rule alone?.” Patton asked, his childlike innocent never leaving his eyes. His mother didn’t see innocence. She saw betrayal. If it were possible, her eyes would have gone darker.

She lightly gripped his small arm, a counterfeit gentle smile encompassing her face.“My dear,-” the grip tightened ever so slightly, “You must rule with another, or-” even tighter, “your subjects-” it hurts now, his blood flow was being cut off, making his hand turn red, “will not respect you.” Patton was crying, his cheeks puffy and red, and it seemed it was time for his mother to snap out of her hateful trance.

At that moment, Patton realized he didn’t love his mother anymore.

-----

Ten years later, when Patton was in his teens, fifteen to be exact, he was told that both of his parents had burned in a fire. He didn’t care for the details. Many called him cold and emotionless when he went to the funeral. The reason for this was because he didn’t cry, not one tear. He had his reasons. He knew his reasons, he did not feel guilty for feeling nothing when they left him alone. He didn’t need to give an explanation.

When he arrived home, his father’s royal counselor told him the gist of what would happen next. “Your highness, I would like to discuss something for the future of the kingdom, and more importantly, you.” Gavel, the royal counselor said. Patton at the time was sitting in his room, doodling on his desk, something his parents would’ve killed him over. Patton gestured towards a chair in the corner of his room and simply said;

“Sit, if you like.” He then smiled sadly at the man. The man nodded and went to sit in the comfortable armchair, close to the desk Patton was sitting at. Once sat down, the man began talking.

“Sir,-” that one was new, “I would like to start out by saying, my deep condolences, the abrupt death of those who raised you must be-” Patton nodded along, he had heard this before, the sorrys and the tip-toeing and the overall cloud that followed the entire kingdom around. Everyone but him.

“Jarring, to say the least, but I didn’t come here to say sorry for an atrocity I did not commit-” what actually happened was, his parents had gone on a trip for their twentieth anniversary and they had stayed in the family's cabin in the mountains. Lightning had struck the home, and they couldn’t get it out in time,

“but despite that, we have serious issues to talk about. Since you are not old enough to be crowned, you will be once you're eighteen, you will be replaced by me, since I was trained to do so in the case of a fatality befalls your parents-”

“Not to be rude, sir, but won't I have to have a w-” he paused, he never truly liked the idea of a wife, but that's not something he could tell anyone. He had seen neighboring kingdoms house same-sex couples as kings and queens, and the kingdom thrive, but he knew deep in his bones, that it would’ve had a terrible reaction from his parents if he had expressed his desires. He shook his head, “Won’t I have to have a partner?” Patton finished, Gavel smiled.

“That is up to you sir. A wife, a husband, neither-” the man paused, in silent thought for a moment, “Maybe even more than one.”

“But sir, my mother said the subjects wouldn’t respect me if I didn't have a proper wife.”

“Your mother was a woman with hard beliefs, but just because you believe in something doesn't mean that it is right, or even true.” Gavel spoke. He had kind eyes, it was one of the first things Patton noticed when he met him for the first time. Patton smiled. Maybe he didn’t need to be with a woman.

-----

Patton was crowned, Gavel retired, and Patton was alone once more. Patton knew he needed company, he was, after all, a sociable person. Patton often took strolls through the streets of his kingdom (most people called his kingdom ‘The Kingdom of Hearts’, completely ignoring the true name, Sandersvania).

The streets were always busy, packed to the brim with people. It wasn’t necessarily a kind place or even a safe one at that, but Patton had tried to rehabilitate his people, but it never worked. He eventually gave up. He had also tried to clean up the area, plant different trees, not the ashy grey bark, and ugly brown leaves, but the kind he saw when he and his parents visited other kingdoms. Patton wished those kingdoms still stood. Some were plagued with disease, others fell because of their lack of crops, and others because of the king up and left. Patton was tempted to do the same.

Back to the point, Patton had tried to find a suitable partner, he tried. None of them clicked, some used him for his power or money, or sometimes it just didn’t work out. But Patton still smiled, he may be lonely, but he had a duty to uphold, even when he didn’t want to.

-----

Patton had told his advisors that he was heading into the plaza. It was a place filled with shops, food, and children. He grabbed his boots, a guard, and some coins. He knew, eventually, the guard would lose Patton, but the thought for protection was there. And so, they set out for the plaza.

-----

thank you for reading! also the tag for this is ‘isnt it lovely all alone au’ and if you want to be tagged in this, send an ask!

#patton sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #isnt it lovely all alone au #king au sanders sides #patton hart #roman price #logan berry #virgil just has a normal last name #sanders #sanders sides #sanders sides au #lamp sanders #polyamsanders

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goddamnmuses-a · 5 years

Text

Dan Watches: Star Wars: Episode II - Attack Of The Clones

Alright so I did this for Episode I which you can find here. So.. here’s my weird.. live reaction/note taking/whatever this is.. to Episode ll.

Alright so.. Once again the opening crawl is very politicy.

Count Dooku I think is mentioned for the first time in it and Padme becomes a Senator instead of a Queen in it.. which.. is weird.

The Naboo ships im not sure about.. I like the design but they seem too new and clean for being a prequel. That said they are owned by royalty so i can let it slide i guess.

“I guess i was wrong, there was no danger at all” *EXPLOSION* ffs Jeff, you couldn’t keep your mouth shut?

Nooooooo! Not.. Cordey? Omfg that was the worst death i’ve ever seen. Terribly acted.

Ayy it’s the Jedi avengers, no but like why is like i presume the whole or half the jedi council in this meeting? Shouldn’t they have like 1 representative?

Yooo thats live action Barriss Offee in the back... hey girrrll ;)

actually she’s probably supposed to be like 13 or somehting so i take that back.

I love just all the traffic flying by the window

YOOOO it’s my boy Jar Jar aka Darth Plagueis the Wise, don’t @ me.

Spice mines on the moon of Naboo you say? Isn’t Spice a drug but you mine for it.. there are drug miners in Star Wars.. good stuff.

That elevator would be terrifying.

Obiwan just like.. LOL I fell into a nest of Gundarks.. what a character I am. .. Love him.

Anakin like “I haven’t seen her since i was underaged master.. now i can get my fuck on!”

ALSO ITS BEEN 10 YEARS!?

“Ani you’ll always be that little boy” *Police sirens*

Anakins a little bitch

I think Jar Jar’s ears things are much longer.. but might just be me imagining things.

She’s not forgotten you, she said your name.. you creep.

Heeyy look it’s your custom star wars character Zam.

Obiwan is so sassy

Anakin is pretty creepy towards Padme.

Those worm things are naasty

Yo tbf that was some smooth lightsabering, they were like an inch tall and right up on Padme and he didnt even hurt her accidentally. I’d have killed her there.

Obiwan just fucking dives out the window like its nothing. Mad man.

Zam is the worst, instead of shooting Obiwan she shoots her own damn droid.

Damn it Anakin, he’s told you to stay away from power couplings.

Obiwan is just gonna be like “FFS ANAKIN!” this entire movie... well.. Saga.

I wonder how Jedi pick their robes because like some are very similar and then theres like a few that have darker leather stuff, it’s like there’s a jedi stylist or something.. Someone make that OC.

Amazing catch Obi.

So Obiwan is his real name but he goes by Ben later on and then Ben Solo is named after him but shouldn’t it be Obiwan Solo?

A changeling, she really is a custom character.

Yoo that Twilek wasn’t stupidly thin, I’m here for Thicc Twilek.

What species is Death Stick guy! I wanna know what he does with his life after he rethinks it

I hope it backfires and he’s like “Hey.. I could be doing so much more” and he ends up like the head of a crime family.

She didnt even change.. so much for changeling.

....she did when she died i take it back.

Damn the background Jedi are ugly.

I like how this shows that Palpatine has already begun manipulating Anakin.

Still dont understand why Jedi see the balance being a good thing when it’s leaning heavily towards the light side right now.

Anakin “IM READY FOR THE TRIALS!” .. you aint. You a moody bitch.

I like Padme’s dress.

Anakin just got warned to back down because he’s being a creep.

Omfg whats that rape face.

Dormy or whatever her name is, better actress than Padme.

Poncho! Cal approves.

WOO ITS DEX!

Jawa Juice? Ew.

Wtf is the Rishi maze?

Dex suddenly went sinister at the end, why?

Yess the librarian! She’s the best. I think she has a badass Order 66 story if im remembering correctly.

She’s very sure about her records though.. calm down lady.

“No droids” says the droid to the other droid.

So i presume the head of the Jedi Council is always the one who looks after the younglings.

Awwh the little babies and they’re all gonna get killed by Creep Vader.

Yoda is so soft, good dad figure. Best boy.

They elect queens on Naboo.. thats interesting.

I love the Jedi fighter look.

HOLD THE FUCK UP THEY DIDNT KNOW ABOUT KAMINO

THERE WAS A FUCKING LONG NECKY ALIEN ON THE JEDI COUNCIL IN EP 1..

.... some bullshit.

I should really look into Sifo Dyas

And Why are there not more Clones in Star Wars...

Other than like.. .. spoilers for.. you know what nevermind.

I DONT LIKE SAND! HE SAID THE THING

Anakin you creep

Why the fuck would Padme even lean in at all? He’s been nothing but a creep and she’s shown 0 interest in him at all so far.

The Camino people are pretty chill.

That was the first bit of actual chemistry between Padme and Anakin

Omfg the pear, fuck off.

Also forgot to comment but theres some clear like.. oohhhhhh moments im having with how order 66 got set up.

Has Padme had an outfit change again?

She’s got her sexy outfit on to turn him down.. seems right.

Her make up is a bit.. much

Sooo the force is weaker with the jedi because the light sides had it so good for so long that the force is trying to balance out and bring it back the other way, makes sense.

It’s actually his connection to his mom that brings him towards the darkside to start.. nice.

Padme trying to be inconspicuous is super conspicuous

I like that the droid said okey dokey.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAY WATTO

YAAAAY ANI SPEAKING HUTTESE

I love how Watto is happy to see Ani.

Watto doesn’t deserve the shitty life he ended up with.

Love some New Zealander up in my Star Wars.

Seismic charges have such good sound design.

Thats one hell of a missile.

Eyyyyy it’s c3p0 it’s amazing how much i’d forgot of this.

Tusken Raiders are dicks. They know sign language but they’re dicks.

Even Anakin is like “These are good people”, good. They’ll raise your son.

Is that general grevious’ voice?

What the fuck are these aliens

Awwwh noooo she waited just to die in her sons arms.

Tbf i’d go full darkside if someone tortured my mom.

You know what.. this Ani is nothing like the ones from the cartoon, he seems like less of a whiney bitch in the clone wars but we’ll see..

Cleg Lars’ hover chair is pretty dope.

Anakin got over hating Obi Wan real quick.

Even captured Obiwan is a sassy boy.

Jar Jar as badass as he is.. is basically putting the Sith Lord in charge.

So far if you dont know that palpatine is the Sith there isnt really anything obvious telling you which is pretty interesting.

Padme has had another outfit change, another iconic look.

And so behind the adventures of r2 and c3po

C3PO had a costume change, he’s been watching Padme.

The fake out they have you thinking Padme is covered in magma is pretty good

Okay then suddenly she loves him.

Also bye bye lightsaber

Genosians are pretty gross

In my head they were always the same as Toydarians for some reason

I like that bug monster, i remember killing them in one of the older battlefront games.. as maybe Aayla Sekura but maybe i made that up.

Anakin surely got the best one to fight. He basically tames it.

The fucking peck on the cheek, was that needed?

Droidekas are still cool as fuck.

Suddenly Jedi.

The Jedi that made it up to Dooku is terrible, he cant even reflect a few blaster blasts.

Well.. Jango lost his head.

The smile on that green jedi’s face is beautiful, what a beautiful alien man. Kit Fisto.

Obiwan is an icon.

Dooku is pretty reasonable all things considered.

Woo clones!

“Around the survivors, a perimiter, create.” Yoda.. just speak normally damnit.

Yoo what if Jaro Tapal shows up in the new Clone Wars cartoon season.. i’d lose my shit.

I like Dooku’s bike.

Anakin you dumb fuck.

I always thought Dooku’s curved lightsaber was weird.

Rey should have done this sick ass catching the lightning trick instead of the two lightsabers.

Jedi flips all over the place woop.

As obvious as it is that Palpatine is the hooded Sith, i feel like they dont show his full face because i feel like a little kid might not be able to tell.

I kinda like how it shows a bunch of clones (the basic start of the stormtrooper) and then star destroyers and it’s like.. heres where the empire started.

Aaaaaand they’re married? so yeah.. congrats Ani you creeped your way into being a husband.

#ooc #dan watches #dan reacts

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bakugous-abs · 6 years

Note

Yo, a scenario here. Bakugo, Torodoki, Midoriya, Tokoyomi and Iida reacting to their s/o getting stalked by an ex? Like the ex leaving creepy Voicemails, leaving flowers and candy in their mail box and follows them around in public.

Admin Bomb with another request, but this time it's a scenario! I hope you enjoy reading it and much as I enjoyed writing it

- Bomb

Bakugou

At first, the voicemails were just disregarded as some prank call or some sales person looking for some cheap money, and they trashed them as soon as they came, not bothering to even spare them a glanceBut after multiple blockings and what felt like several hundred deletions later, they finally decided to listen in on one of them, and they had wished they didn’t, so very much“S/o~~! You cant ignore me forever honey plum~!” The moment his voice rang into the air, they had dropped their cell phone onto the kitchen counter, their hands shaking and fear swimming across their face. They wanted it to stop, they knew it was a few simple taps away, but they couldn’t move, and it kept playing. “I know you’re getting them. My old numbers have been blocked and discarded, but it always delights me to know you’re playing this kind of game with me~. Call me later, mwah!”

The voicemail ended, and s/o was still very shooken. All those voicemails. The literal hundreds of deleted voicemails sitting in their trashcan, was from him?

Their ex was an obsessive freak that completely fetishized them and their relationship. Each and every moment of the days they spent together, were always him talking about he loved them so much and how he wanted to just run his fingers through their hair, and kiss them where no one else should. He seemed to only think about their body and what he could do with it, instead of actually spending quality time with them to just hang out

And it got too much. They broke up with him after weeks of the creepy and obsessive talk and fleed all the way to the UA area, where they got in, and found their new boyfriend, one that could treat them right, Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou understood their need of a slower relationship, and despite his impatient behaviour, he was willing to wait every second he had to to keep you comfortable. He didn’t want to drive them away from him. They were his and his only, and it bugged him to realize that taking things too fast could result in them leaving him behind for someone else. Of course, you could have friends, but he was still just a bit sketchy and protective when the guys would get close

He was a good, understanding boyfriend, and you loved him. And you didn’t need the recurrence of your ex to ruin what you had

They were practically late getting to school because the voicemail had shaken them up so bad, but they managed to get in through the door and take their seat before homeroom class representative, Tenya Iida, started to yell at them

They had hoped they looked like they normally would to not raise suspicion that something happened, but under the eagle and analyzing eyes of their boyfriend, he was able to spot your clear discomfort and shooken form the moment you walked in, tie backwards and more random strands of hair hanging out than usual

So it wasn’t surprising that during Lunch Break he pulled them aside and asked what the fuck was wrong with them and why they looked the way they did

“A-Aha, jeez Bakugou. I realize I looked bad this morning but not that bad.” They tried to play it off and slip out of his gaze, but he wasn’t gonna let this go that easily

“Don’t start using that shit on me. I know somethings wrong and I want you to tell me. Im your fucking boyfriend, you gotta be able to tell me shit without thinking im gonna be stupidly mad about it” He pried a bit more, his slouched form blocking their way from leaving him

They were hesitant, but they eventually told him all about their ex. They got increasingly more anxious as time went by explaining him, they just wanted this conversation to be over with and hope Bakugou wouldn’t blow them up or yell at them too much. They got shakier and more and more scared the more they explained their situation with the creepy ex, and they almost broke down when they finished, using the wall for support

“A-And, its just scary. The lengths he’s going to just to talk to me. He’s changed his fucking number after I block each and every one and calling out my name in a way that makes me absolutely disgusted with myself. And I… I just want him to stay away from me!” they collapsed to the ground, tears pooling off their face as they clutched their chest, words unable to form anymore

Bakugou… kinda felt bad. He had pried and prodded them to tell him all that even though they didn’t want to. He made them live through their life with their creepy fuckface ex. He made them into the scared pile on the floor that’s sobbing their eyeballs out

“H-Hey. Don’t cry, dammit. Crying looks ugly on you.” He knelt down and hesitantly moved his hands forward, taking them close to his body. He was surprised to find them immediately melting into him and clutching onto him like their life depending on it

“Look s/o, as much as it pisses me off to say, I’m not great with words, but that asswipe isnt gonna hurt you like that anymore, ok? You’re with me now. The future number one hero for fucks sake! I’m not gonna let him place his grimy hands on you or even look at you with those eyes. He doesn’t get to do that to you. So just, stop crying, ok? Just, trust me on this” His absolute rage was hidden by the softness he attempted to make his voice sound

By the time he was done, they were done crying and sniffles were the only sound they made. But they didn’t feel all that scared anymore. The small words Bakugou said made them feel better. Hours ago they were shaking in their kitchen, scared of their phone, and now they were cradled in Bakugou’s arms

They nodded and mustered up their strength to say, “Okay… Ill trust you for now, Katsuki.” In his arms, they felt safe and loved, the creepy voicemails vanishing from their head, the space now being taken up with images of their boyfriend

Todoroki

Orchids. S/o’s favorite flower. That is a fact known by few, and appreciated by none. They were the prettiest flowers to find in their book. Each flower had their own meaning, and they loved all of them. But, a certain color of this beautiful species, is one they hated most

Red

Red Orchids, meaning desire and passion, were all but desirable. They hated them. They hated one of the only flowers that could put a smile on their face. And its all because of him

He made them hate these beautiful specimens. He made them begin to hate the flower in general, starting with this one. The prettiest color of that species. Your ex

He was a sweet guy, he really was. He was considerate, and helped anyone he could out. He gave them a sense of trust, and she trusted him to know that Orchids were their favorite flower. But they regretted it the moment the next day came

He introduced them to his side chick and had the most sadistic look in his eyes as he suggested they should become their personal punching bag, giving up your body so they can have their own satisfaction. And they immediately rejected the idea, angering both of them. They eventually had to rely on their quirk as a means of defense and escape, that last thing he shouted was how much he just red orchids, and threw an entire bouquet at them

After that, they moved to Japan, across the pacific ocean, away from him. But that didn’t stop his onslaught. They began to send red roses, once a month, on the day of their breakup. The fifteenth of every month, a bouquet of red orchids would sit on their door step the day they came home. And each day, they would breakdown crying and throw out the orchids as fast as they could

And unfortunately, they had forgot about them, and their new boyfriend, Todoroki Shouto was with them for a study project

He almost dropped the mug of coffee in his hands when he heard a thud by the front door and rushed to see a bouquet of red orchids in their hands, their eyes seeming to break in pieces right in front of him as they chucked them across the room and began to sob on the floor

“S/o! Are you okay?!” He called out, rushing to their side at once to get them off the grimy ground by the door

“I hate him! I hate him so much!” They screamed out to what looked no one as they legs tried to walk, but ended up just getting dragged on the floor as Todoroki wrapped their arm over his shoulder and walked them to the couch

“S/o! You’re gonna have to calm down in order for me to understand what’s wrong. What happened?” He set them down as they tried to stop their tears on the couch

“Orchids! I love them so much, but I cant stand to see the red ones anymore! They cause me so much pain!” They explained the entire situation, starting from the beginning and ending the story when they had arrived here in Japan. “And I just can’t look at them anymore. They always remind me of that day, and I was so scared”

Their tears continued to stream down their face till they had no more to shed, and Todoroki took this as his opportunity to speak

“I didn’t realize. But, what if I sent you your favorite color Orchid? I replaced the red orchids with your favorite color, and then you wouldn’t have to be reminded of them. You can come home to those flowers instead of red ones?”

S/o looked up at him slowly, looking at his brown and cerulean blue eyes, looking for any signs of lying. “Really?”

He nodded, his face still flat and emotionless. “Yeah. If I can get rid of the bad ones, I could maybe replace them with better ones”

They took and minute to process his words before a small smile decorated their face, a little nod telling Todotoki that they would like that very much

“Alright, what’s your favorite color?”

“Blue”

“May I ask why?”

They were silent, a bit embarrassed by their answer before muttering it as low as they could, “Because it reminds me of your eye”

Todoroki’s face went from zero to flaming hot at their answer, and pretty he could have sworn he saw a smug smile on their face as he hid his face in his hands, frost, and heat radiating from his sides while s/o laughed at his reaction

But at least they were smiling now, and not sad, completely forgetting about the bouquet from earlier, and he was happy to see them smiling again

Midoriya

Chocolate was their personal favorite of any kind of food out there, and anyone within Japan would know that the first moment they began talking to them

But, unfortunately, with that going for them, they would often get sent random chocolate boxes from strangers they didn’t even know, and one person in particular was persistent enough to keep sending a heart box each and every week with little notes attached to each piece, and it was getting quite bothersome

If the box wasn’t enough to set them off, it was the fact that it was only ever filled with their favorite kind of chocolate and the notes were something that you would only send to a partner

And when they finally started coming with a name, they didn’t know how to react anymore. These unsettling heart shaped boxes of chocolate were coming from their ex of three years

He was a man that was about two older than they were, and it had made them feel weird to be dating a man older than them, so they had requested to split ways, and he would always reply no. They tried multiple times to ask if they could break up, and he was getting more and more aggressive each time, until they finally stood their ground against the much stronger man, terrified of how he would react and said they were done with this uncomfortable relationship, and bolted out the door and fled to Japan

But somehow, it seems that he had found them again, and these chocolates were making them a bit apprehensive about eating any other ones

And Midoriya was the first to notice

After transferring into Yuuei, they had an immediate relationship that started as timid friends with the shy freckled boy, and as time went by, they got to know eachother better and they began to date. Deku was a blushing mess when he asked her to be with him after getting hyped up by the rest of Class 1-A for about three hours before hand, and they’ve only grown closer since

So it was understandable that he was able to see when something was wrong with his s/o, and it was immediately that he found at that they were down when they didn’t see a bar of chocolate anywhere near them during class

So, he approached them about it, and they only shook their head and looked down, pushing him away and telling him they were fine and to not worry

But all the poor boy could do was worry about them, and he knew he had to confront them about it, but how could he? They had told him not to worry and he didn’t want to upset them somehow by pushing in on privacy

But he decided to go for it anyway. He was worried, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to focus until he found out what was wrong

After class had ended, he held them back and asked to talk with them, and they hesitantly agreed

“S/o… um, I’m sorry of pushing my boundaries a bit, but I was wondering if you were really ok. You seemed a bit down and sickly this morning and I noticed there wasn’t any um… chocolate nearby and it struck me as strange to see you without any since it’s your favorite food and all”

The boy was nervously playing with his bandages on his hands from bruising them up a bit too much, but he watched them with those analyzing eyes of his, and he told tell something was definitely up

“Umm… It’s just uh.. I’ve been, receiving chocolates from strangers lately, and they’re mostly all coming from, my ex boyfriend…”

They paused and looked at Deku’s reaction, seeing his face blank and his mouth prop open a bit

“He um… he’s a bit older than me, and it made me uncomfortable with that two year age gap, so I asked to break up several times, and he said no. So I had forcefully broke up with him one night a few years ago and came here. And why is it just now that he begins to resurface and try to take me back? Can’t he see i’m uncomfortable with him? I just want him gone. All those boxes of chocolates are heart shaped and have little notes attached to each one. They’re all my favorite chocolates too, so seeing him do that, makes me feel kind of sick to eat anymore…” they looked down at the ground, their face sad with tears

Deku couldn’t believe his ears

They had to forcefully break up with someone because they kept saying no, and now they were being as persistent as ever and not realizing that what they’re doing is hurting his s/o

It’s even making them not want to eat their favorite treat! How unkind of them! How could they do that?

He fidgeted in his place, trying to come up with a solution to the problem, till something crossed his mind

“Do… Do you live with anyone?” He asked timidly, his cheeks heating up at the proposal he was about to ask

“Um… no…. I had moved out of my parents home when I could. They weren’t the best parental figures”

“Oh, um ok. Well, I was wondering… maybe you could um…” His cheeks heated up and he scratched the back of his neck. S/o lifted their head to see his nervous stance

“Well… maybe you could live with… me and my mom” the suggestion finally rang out of his mouth, and s/o was taken back a bit

“Of course you don’t have to if you don’t want to!” Deku began to flail his arms, worried about the reaction he got from them. “I was just thinking that if you moved out of your apartment and moved into mine then he couldn’t send the chocolates anymore because he wouldn’t be able to since no one would be living there anymore! Im sorry if I freaked you out or-” He immediately stopped rambling when he heard a giggle escape his s/o’s mouth

The laughter started as giggling, but it eventually raised into full on tearful laughing, a smile on their face as their eyes clenched shut, leaving Deku confused

Did he say something funny? Were they laughing at him?

Once they calmed down, they leaned forward and rested their head on Dekus shoulder, hugging themself. “You broccoli head” They muttered fondly

“B-Broccoli head?!”

“Of course I’ll move in with you and your mother. You don’t need to be so shy about it” They unwrapped their arms from themselves and attached them to Deku, the poor boy practically fainting from the closeness of their body

“Y-You will?” He asked, still nervous about engaging in the hug as well

“Yeah, now hug me back you weeaboo, I’m touch starved right now, and I want chocolate”

Deku smiled and wrapped his arms around them, making himself a silent promise to always protect them from the growing dangers of the world, from their ex… and to always keep chocolate on hand from now on

Tokoyami

Eyes had been on them for a while now, they could feel it. They had always felt like someone was watching them, but ever since they moved away from their creepy ex and broke up with him, they had been feeling it more often than usual

It never stopped. They felt it, always. At Yuuei, on their walks to and from school, their shopping trips, and even with their current, and much better boyfriend, Tokoyami Fumikage

He was a sweet bird boy that was emo inside and out, no matter who he was with, and they loved him for it. They appreciated his ability to be able to express himself in the way he could, and in the way that made him most happy. He was him, and they respected that. Its what got them started on their relationship in the first place

He was as gentle as a mother swan to her babies, and yet, as ravenous as an Eagle when anyone would pick on s/o, making sure to run them off and stick close again to their side for the remainder of the day

They were walking with him now, and once again, started to feel the same pair of eyes on them as always. Their mood immediately dropped and demeanor changed to very uncomfortable and wanting to run. Run away from the eyes that followed them everywhere. Wanting to run away from the uncomfortable atmosphere, but they kept strong

After all, they were with their boyfriend, they had nothing to fear, right?

Wrong

So very, very wrong

“Dearest, I’m gonna use the restroom real quick, stay put and I’ll be back momentarily” Tokoyami let go of their hand, missing the warmth already as he entered the bathroom

S/o uncomfortably stood a little ways away from the bathroom, feeling a bit shy about being so near the place where males did their business. People were starting to turn in for the night, leaving the gaps between people to grow in size. People were getting their personal space again, and maybe, just maybe, they could spot who exactly it was spying on them

They didn’t have time to think or react when an arm wrapped around their upper body, clamping their arms to their sides and a hand put over their mouth and yanked into an alleyway. Panic flooded their body and they tried to let out a scream, but realized that no sound would come past their mouth

“Hey s/o! I found ya, hahaha! Did ya miss me?!” The voice they had tried to forget from those years crept back into their mind when they tried to look to see who it was, realizing it was their homicidal ex

This man… this disgusting man before them had killed their older brother and two other men months before they found out it. News broadcasts were everywhere about the mysterious disappearances and it wasn’t till a night before they broke up that they realized… those two men who had flirted with them, and their older brother, were killed at the hands of their boyfriend. It was the scariest moment of their life in those ten minutes the news played the case on the screen. Ten sickening minutes of watched two bodies get pulled from a cellar and finding their brothers body in a ditch

This ex, killed any man that interacted with them. He wanted them to himself, and he was gonna do everything he could to keep them away from potential threats

They were terrified, and broke up with him over phone before discarding in a trashcan nearby and fleeing to the opposite side of the country, and hopefully away from him. But it seems he had found them

Their breathing sped up as they tried to cry out for help, make any sound at all, but nothing came out

“Trying to scream are we? Trying to get me away from you again?!” His eyes shook and darted in any direction they could, “Well too bad! I’m your boyfriend! You don’t get to run away from me! We’re a couple! How could you do that?! Run away from me after I killed those people for you?! FOR US?!” His yelling was terrifying, their body going into immediate shut down as they practically went limp against the wall

“I killed them so they wouldn’t destroy our relationship! And you thank me like this?! You’re a beautiful bitch! My beautiful bitch! I love you, and no one else can have you! I’ve been watching you for years now! I know everything I possibly can about you, and I wanna know more!” A disturbing laugh erupted from his throat

Their eyes were cloudy with tears and they clenched their eyes shut, and before they knew it, they were on the ground, and a loud thud resonated through the alleyway as their ex’s body was flown across the ground and into a dumpster where he laid unconscious

Their eyes widened and looked to the entrance to see Tokoyami and Dark Shadow staring at their ex with angry eyes, but they softened once they saw their shaken and fearful form

“S/o! Dearest! Are you alright?!” Tokoyami shouted, Dark Shadow curling around them both when Tokoyami wrapped his arms around them

“No! No im not! He-He-He, He stalked me! He stalked me for months! Watching my every move!” Their head banged against Tokoyamis chest and their hands balled into fists, clenching his shirt. “He killed my brother and two innocent men because of me!”

They babbled on, but Tokoyami kept shushing them. He had eavesdropped and listened to the whole thing when he was done with his quick bathroom break. His anger was fueling every second he listened to that maniac talk to his s/o like that, and he took out Dark Shadow and punched him against a dumpster, anger seething from every pore on his body

“S/o. This is not your fault. You had no clue what was happening behind closed doors, and he kept you in the dark. He did things that should never have began to be considered of doing. He is a creature of far more darkness than a black hole, and you don’t need to blame yourself for it. You don’t need to give any apologies to a man of that rank”

His beak nuzzled into their neck as he tried his best to calm them down, but still very conscious of the pda in the open and not in the his or their room in the Yuuei dorms

S/o was still very shaken, but knowing how angry and sad Tokoyami felt because of their ex made them feel safer. They knew he didn’t, and would never agree to his ways of showing love. And they felt eternally happy about it as they cried into his chest

“I.. I guess the date is ruined now, huh?”

“Pay no mind to the date. What matters now is your health and well being. Come along, we should get back to the dorms and rest”

They nodded and got up, grabbing the hand of their boyfriend and leaning on them as their pillar of support, depending on their hero to guide them safely home

Iida

S/o wasn’t much of a gifter nor a receiver. They didn’t like the idea of buying someone things and them not being able to pay them back, or vise versa. They believe, they should both be able to exchange something, preferably of equal value

So it kind of freaks them out when they kept receiving gifts in their mailbox and on their doorstep from an unknown sender

They knew it couldn’t have been Iida. He would definitely have brung it up on their alone time if they had received any gifts he may have sent. So who could it be?

Their question was answered when a tenth gift was sent. It was a small purple carnival bear with pretty blue eyes, a rolled up note tied with a red ribbon in its hand in their mailbox. It was strange to see the note, and it wasn’t a good strange

After about the third gift they were starting to get a little iffy about whether they should keep or discard them to a trashcan nearby. And now, after being so cautious of their mailbox, this bear finally has a clue as to who is sending these stupid gifts

They set their school bag on the ground and began to untie the note from its hand, putting the bear under their arm and unraveling the note, reading the contents

“Dear, beautiful s/o. It seems you have received gift number ten. Now. You may be wondering. Who are they coming from, and I bet the answer will surprise you!”

Strange way to start a letter, and they regretted reading any further

“Well, guess whoooo? It’s me! Your ex”

They gasped before seething with rage. This pipsqueak of a piece of human, their ex, was the one sending them gifts

“S/o!” a voice rang through the air, and they lifted their head to see Iida heading their way, their mood lifting the slightest too see him speeding towards them. “Pleasant surprise to see you outside! What have you got there?” He asked as he took the remaining strides to be by their side

“It’s um… it’s nothing” They responded, looking at the note before crumbling it up and putting it in their school bag, the bear dropping to the ground as they bent down to pick it up

Iida was fast to pick it up and examine it

“Huh. I didn’t know there was a carnival in town” he responded in a questionable way as he handed it to them, their bag now over their shoulders

“There… there isn’t one. My uhh, aunt, lives in America and she sent me this thinking I would enjoy it. But she knows how much I don’t really like small toys like this” they took it from him and looked it over, the weird texture of the fur setting them off

“Ah, I see. Well, take care, I must be on my way. I cannot keep Tensei waiting at home” and with that he sped off down the sidewalk to his own home

The following days were filled with even more gifts and even more notes attached to them. It was panicking and infuriating. Can he not take a hint? Can he really not see that they don’t want to be with him anymore? Can’t he see that he messed up by cheating on them in the first place? Can’t he see that this is his fault?

They had began to just not read them anymore or even spare them a glance and immediately throw them away, but that only seemed to make the situation worse as the gifts kept getting larger in value and more expensive, now receiving whole phones and on one occasion, a brand new television set that now sat in a spare room in their house

And, it was finally that this next gift sent them into a near panic attack. If was smaller than the last one, and was probably the most valuable thing someone else could ever want from a man

It was an engagement ring with a little poem on the inside, and that was unfortunately when Iida came strutting out of the bathroom as they screamed and threw the ring across the house, hitting and getting stuck in the wall

“S/o!” Iida was by their side in an instant, looking between them and the engagement ring implanted into the wall and their shaking form on the ground, seething with absolute anger. “What’s the matter?”

“This!” They pointed at the small velvet box, standing up and pacing the room

He picked it up and read through the note, his eyebrows scrunching up in confusion and possibly anger

“This man, my ex, keeps sending me gifts upon gifts of small things from little carnival toys to flat screen tvs, but now he’s taking it too far with giving me something like this! He’s the one that messed up! HE cheated on ME! He ruined my trust in people for a period of time and he’s just sending me all these things! I don’t like receiving gifts unless I can give back something of equal value, and he knows this! But he’s doing it anyway, and I can’t take it anymore!”

Tears spilled from their eyes. But they weren’t sad, no, they were angry tears

Iida was conflicted with what to do. No man should ever hurt a woman like this unless they were of criminal level. And yet, his s/o had been the one to through something like this

At first he felt guilty for not realizing something was up with the way they kept getting new things around the house shoved into corners of the room and the way they didn’t like going near a certain door in their house. But then he felt anger at their ex

He should be respectful of another person’s privacy. If they say no, that means no, and there’s no way around it. Not unless you are a manipulative person that had somehow convinced them into doing something, and that’s just wrong and unprofessional on multiple levels

This man has causes his s/o so much pain, and now their literally crying angry tears and he didn’t know how to help. He was now confused. What should he do?

He looked at the poem a little more before walking over and retrieving the ring from the wall. He looked s/o right in the eye before opening the window and throwing it into a trashcan in an alleyway trashcan below

“Now, I don’t know much about your ex other than what you just told me. But I believe he is not a good man. He should be able to respect a person’s privacy and listen to them when they tell him no, especially women in the day and age we live in”

Their s/o wiped their tears as they noticable bit their tongue, probably trying not to yell anymore than they had to

“So, maybe, you can sell this apartment, and move into the dorms with the rest of us”

Their s/o was immediately about say something, probably to reject the idea, but he beat them to it and spoke more. “Now, hold on just a moment. Listen to me talk.” They shut their mouth and looked at Iida, waiting for him to continue. “If you were to move out of here and into the dorms, he wouldn’t be able to send you anything without proper consent from yourself, and if he did, you can immediately reject anything coming from that address. And you could leave all these prior gifts behind for someone else to take”

Their s/o’s mouth seemed to screw shut as they looked around the apartment. He could understand why. This was their parents apartment before they unfortunately passed away from a villian attack two years ago. So this apartment has held some emotional value, but this is their own safety that was on the line here

They looked over at Iida, the anger subsiding into sadness as they nodded

He smiled and walked over to them, pulling them into a hug. “I know it might be difficult. But your safety might be in danger here. So I want you to take all the precautions you can to be safe as a normal person, not as a future hero”

They smiled against his chest and nodded, feeling safe and sound in Iida’s arms

“Alright. Now let’s get to the school so we can get you a dorm over there and you can move out as quickly and efficiently as possible”

They nodded and got ready, ready to start a new better life and leave this one behind, like they should have done long ago

186 notes · View notes

singingpuddle · 7 years

Text

My commentary whilst watching Buzzfeedblue’s “The Captive Spirits Of Eastern State Penitentiary”

You would think I would have finished the Commentary on part 2 of “3 Horrifying Cases”. But no, so... here we are.

Warning:

1. I ship them, if you don’t that’s cool with me.

2. This post is super long

3. I long for the day I no longer have to cross out the boy in boyfriend when it comes to these two. this will be abundantly clear by the amount of times i do

4. After a little bit i will stop putting full names, so just know.

5.I recommend watching the video along with or before going through this post, because if you haven’t seen it you will be lost.

R=Ryan and S=Shane

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Me: I see you and your matching outfits.

R: We are not wearing matching outfits.

Me: From where im standing it seems like you are.

R: Well, we arent.

Me: We shall see...

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R: See, not matching.

Me: Okay, yeah. Shane... did you get a haircut just for this?

S: Maybe...

Me: and is that shirt... freshly ironed?

S: Maybe...

Me: Is this a... date?

S: May-

R: No.

Me: But I remember you saying you always wanted to go there.

R: Yeah and?

Me: I dont know man... Sounds like a date to me.

R: Its not.

Me & S: sure...

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(+1 for cinematography)

(+one for matching outfits)

R: THEY ARE NOT MATCHING OUTFITS.

S: You do realize she ids now doing it for the sole purpose of annoying you. Also our jackets do kinda match.

R: *Long suffering sigh*

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(+1 for cinematography)

(+1 for matching outfits)

R: I give up.

Me: Good, because im probab;ly going to be commenting on the matching Heterosexual Beige™ jackets alot.

R: Wait... if there Heterosexual Beige™ then how is it gay?

Me: I never said it was gay...

S: But it is gay... because theyre matching

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Me: Oh shit... Ass-Bat™ gon come for ya asses

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Me: Domesticity™

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Me: Ok... sound like a solid plan. Where did they fuck up?

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Me: ああ、そですか。

Me: So when they said solitude, the ment “total and utter isolation form the outside world” not “go in this cell and think about what youve done”.

Me: So that’s how they fucked up.

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Me: look my dude, I look ugly as shit when im at the gym, so this sounds nice.

R: Wait... this place sounds nice to you.

Me: Oh hell no. this place is shady as shit. I was just saying i hate people seeing me work out.

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Me: ... Rye...

R: What?

Me: You steal Shane's food?

S: Of course he does hes an asshole.

Me: Oh?

S: He is also my Ghoulfriend™ thus he belives he has the right to.

Me: You gave him the title, not me man.

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Me: Damn, I guess you could say they where... in the dark about everything.

R: *laughing* Oh, shut up.

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Me: Dango Bro.. you better only be putting murderers in there.

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Me: A++ boyfriending there my bro.

S: What did I do?

Me: Its not about what you have done yet, its about what i think your going to do.

S: That’s not fair.

Me: We’ll see.

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Me: As I was saying Shane, A++ boyfriending there my dude.

S: Come on Ari, Its solitary, thus you must experience it alone. Plus You know i’ll go in right after.

Me: and leave him alone in the creepy penitentiary. S: Yeah?

Me: *coughs* A++

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Me: Okay... Nah. Fuck dat shit. Who let this happen?

Me: Probably not in those exact words, or in a shitty Australian accent, but yeah.

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Me: Look at Ryan’s Totally hetero™ geeking over his boyfriend’s accent.

R: I’m not geeking.

Me: *looking Ryan right in the eyes* sure...

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Me: Kinky? Okay... this isnt fun anymore. Imma take a break form this sadistically depressing shit and watch Animatics for some Jux de Postion.

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Me: “ Sincerely, Me” from Dear Evan Hanson is a fucking Bop. (link here)

R: This is entirely off topic its not even the same video.

Me: Look, I need a break, you need a break, we all need a break. Plus my girlfriend got me into this stuff so... blame her.

S: Just let her do this, If People want to skip it they can.

R: Fine.

Me: Domesticity™

R: sHut uP

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Me: Okie dokie. Im back.

R: Then lets get this show on the road.

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Me: Idk what you say this is Jigsaw’s Orgin story.

R: But you’ve never even seen it.

Me: Fight me Bergara, I dare you.

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Me: Look at Shane’s Totally hetero™ geeking over his boyfriend’s Jigsaw impression.

S: Im not even gonna lie, It was kinda hot cool.

Me: You know hot and cool are antonyms right?

S: I didnt say hot.

Me: sure...

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Me: What did I say Shane.

S: Ugh

Me: Welp, The Shookening™ begins.

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Me: Ryan, You’re doing that stupid thing that gets people in horror movies killed... Please Refrain.

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Me: Oh shit Rye Bread, You and Shanesquatch are really in the thick of it now

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Me: SHANE HEARD IT, WITH HIS OWN EARS. Boi... not that im not happy that your ghosty ventures are going well but... Leave before you die please.

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Me: Not to distract from the real topic here but, Shane.

S: Yeah.

Me: Might I say, you're looking mighty fine and kinda twinkish in this video.

S: Thanks.

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Me: ... Did Shane just get possesed?

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Me: Dont make fun of our brave boyo.

S: I wouldn't if it wasn't so goddamn easy.

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Me: Shane.

S: Yes?

Me: There is a thin line between the “I wanna suck your dick” look and the “fuck you talkin bout” look.

S: Yeah?

Me: You are right on that line right now.

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Me: I think Ghostie is done with your shit. Like he sounds like hes been thought this 100 to many times.

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R: TAKE A FUCKING SIP BABES, Its a ghost.

S: Nah, idk man.

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S: Crank it up baby!

Me: *starts thinking of the song twist and shout*

*starts thinking of the fan fiction twist and shout*

*having mild war flashbacks because i refused to finish it but know how it ends anyway*

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Me: This Ghost is done with your shit, he stabbed a dude, let him be.

(+1 for shane looking like a twink)

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Me: *Laughing my ass off* He is done with you. Just fuckin leave.

R: *Shook*

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R: *Finds buttons in creepy haunted place* Imma just press these because nothing bad can happen if i do.

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R: At this moment ou-

R: At this Moment our Audio recoder picked up- Wait

Me & R: *High-fiving viciously*

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Me: Ryan Stop teasing your boyfriend.

R: I would if it wasn't so goddamn easy.

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Me: Unpopular opinion but Al Capone has an adorably squishy looking face.

S: *Lauging* Now im just imagingin you walking up to Infamous Mobster Al Capone and squishing his cheeks

R: And Baby talking.

Me & S & R: *Indistinct baby talking*

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Me: *Still baby talking* Whos a busy wittle mob boss? You are, Oh yes you are.

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Me: Not to shabby, its at least moderately survivable.

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(+1 for Shane calling Ryan Baby again)

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Me: Capone said no man, No means no.

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Me: Ya’ll seem to not get the fact these ghosts are just through with your shit. Also its Al Capone, you don’t wanna fuck with him.

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R: *Shook*

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Me: Boi.. He aint a fuckin child, he understands you. Now go away.

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Me: Yo Al is pissed bro, leave

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Me: Booooiiii, leave.

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Me: Correction Al, darling, They are Hetrosexual Beige™. But Brown and white is a close enough answer for a ghost so, you win I guess.

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Me: The Shaniacs are fucking QUAKING.

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Me: They are gay as shit right Al.

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Me: Boi, i hear that sentence one more time in this fucking episode i’m flipping my shit.

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Me: You okay Rye?

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Me: The Glory Hole?

R: Nope just The Hole.

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Me: Shane, Its a eupamism. He wants your hole, or wants you in his hole... You get the idea.

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S: Its a hole, what else can you do except hop right in.

Me: Boi, that’s gay.

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Me: Come on Ry, you know you don’t want Shane's head to smash.

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Me: Look at him Squat, Look at him gooooooooooo.

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Me: Ryan “Worried Boyfriend” Bergara

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Me: He is trying to comfort you, don’t be an ass.

R: But its hard.

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Me: Are you Possessed? Because the way you’re standing is making me uneasy.

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Me: You have a Flashlight

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Me: your eyes look interesting in night vision.

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R: *Booping his way out this haunted ass shit*

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(+1 for cinematography)

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This long ass post brought to you by:

This

Link to video here

Link to Masterpost here

#buzzfeed #buzzfeedblue #buzzfeed unsolved #UNSOLVED MYSTERIES #ryan bergara #ryan x shane #shane madej #shyan

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kasunex · 7 years

Text

Yesterday me and @heiligelanze were bored so I made this trash complaining about P4. Don’t read if you like P4. Unless you are very chill about people hating on it.

we talk about why p4 is not good.

#1 - Boring characters

Yosuke: Wah wah small town is borin (why doesn't he just plan to move when he's older), also homophobic in way that suggests writers thought we were too. neck is too long. Also not closeted >:/

Yu Narukami: Stupid name, stupid design, stupid fuckin face, I hate him, no character arc or character at all, Gary Stu. Boring peice of shit. Also. Not GAY Enough >:/

Yukiko: Boring. Thinks she's trapped into being innkeeper when not at all. Never tells parents she doesn't want to or makes any attempt to change anything. Only other character trait is laughs (annoying)

Chie: Guyz I like kung fu n meat isnt that quirky, (bc apparently women don't like meat?????) also not gay or trans >:/

Kanji: Almost good. But misleads to think he is good representative media pushing artistic gay man strugling against stereotypes that gays rnt tough. Actually about gender roles but not well explored. Hinted to be bi at best. Atlus u fuckin cowards let me be gay for once >>>>>>>>>://////////////////

Rise: 2 kawaii. Gets annoying. Unwarranted, undeserved crush on main character you cant say no to. (But unlike p3 game doesn't make u with her but we will get to THAT LATER FUCKING P4G)

Naoto: Too good for game. Shoulda been trans tho.

Teddie: Remove or kill. Annoying af. Tries to steal ur girl. Major mysognist (game is like lol)

Mitsuo: Insulting to ugly people and to gamer fanbase

Moorako: Insulting to ugly people. Hahah who cares hes dead he was uggo lol

Hanako: Fat ppl r gross rite guys lollolollolllollolololollollololl haha she thinks she's atrratcievew lolololo fat pppl thinkin their hot lololololololo

Kashiwagi: She's old but busted except she looks 30 and treated as gross icky old woman when real teens would be like "I wanna bang dat shit on de desk"

Dojima: Ok I guess

Nanako: Emotional manipulation. doesn't die. unrealistically precious and mature.

Adachi: Presents as awkward relatable BUT NO ACTUALLY EVIL OVER THE TOP EVIL MUHAHAHA because he couldn't just be a cool guy with a darker side, had to be ANIME CRAZY EVIL DID IT FOR THE LULZ

Namatame: Not built up enough, comes fuckiin out of nowhere

Izanami: Comes even more da faq outta nowhere (GUYS THAT GAS STATION ATTENDENT SHAKING YOUR HAND OBVS EQUALS EVIL OR PLOT SIGNIFICANT LOL) also rips off Nyx and does it shitty

Ameno-Sagiri: Comes even MORE da faq outtta nowhere and vanishes da faq outta nowhere, also irrelevant to plot and meaningless distraction

Margret: Boring af, no personality at all, Elizabeth was more fun

Saki: Underdeveloped bitch, supposed to be so sad when dies despite not being shown for anythin but bitch also supposed to feel bad for yosuke when she dies even tho she hated him and he would have been rejected anyway seriously wtf

Marie: COMPLETELY IRREDEMABLE GARBAGE FIRE OF PANDERING TRASH. SHOEHORNED INTO PLOT WHEN COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS AND IRRELEVANT. GAME FORCES HER AS LOVE INTEREST WHEN SHE SOMEHOW MANAGES TO STEAL WORST GIRL FROM YUKIKO. ANNOYING TSUNDERE STEREOTYPE. MAKES ME WANT TO KILL SELF.

#2 - Shit plot

Boring af. Crappy tonal issues all the way thru. WAY TO SLICE OF LIFE WHO FUCKIN CARES.

HEY IM A TRANSFER STUDENT JUST LIKE LAST GAME LOL. Everyone loves me immediately even tho im a lil bitch.

Oh noes murder of some random chick we never met so sad ;~;

Meet Chie n Yukiko both boring af, immediately like me

Yosuke is trash can, Mitsuo is creppy and wierd b/c gamers r uggo and uggo ppl are socially inept and suck

Bitchy girl shows up and then dies

Yosuke does1n't get dick wet (he wouldn't anyways but still) so sad

See TV world, meet worst character in ORGINAL game (assult of bear puns)

fight dumb fuckin demon frog bc yosuke is bored (wtf is dis shit)

Chie is gay bUT NOT REALLY

Boss of dungeon is too hard, someone went missing or something idk who cares

Meet gay but nOT REALLY

Chases u bc u judge him but NOT REALLY

Gets kidnapped, gay dungeon bUT NOT REALLY actually about gender and cuz he likes cute stuff means he's gay STUPID but actually he's not because gays r icky lol

Campin time yaya the girls can't cook pffffft a WOMAN CANT COOK TF WOW WOW SO FUNNY A WOMAN CANT COOK WTF WHAT TEH FUCK and also HANAKO IS FAT AND That's' bad

HOMOPHOBIA TIME LOL KANJI IS GAY ARE YOSUKE AND YU SAFE IN A TENT WITH HIM? FIND OUT AT 11

Sexism next day when Yosuke is like I bought u girls sexy swimsuits and will now shame you to wear them ARENT I AN ENDEARING CHARACTER but no dicks are wet except with water (also vomit) including kanji lol abuse (also that could have seriously injured but never brought up BECAUSE ABUSE IS LOLOLOLOOLLOLLLOLLLLOLLLOLLLLLLLLOLLLL) Also game forced u/Yu to be sexist too fuck off game

Nanako is sad whatever who cares

Yosuke wants idol puss so yay idol but shes sad so we stalk guilible peepin tom who is the killer but NOT REALLY while adachi is quirky

Rise is sad that she doesnt know who she is or something fuckin idk STRIPPING TIME BOWCHICAWOWOW also teddie feels useless so everyone dies or smth

Teddie comes out of TV and is now human and annoying mother fucker, Rise is now not sad but KAWAII and Yosuke no longer wants idol puss idk but but IDOL PUSS WANTS BORING FUCKBOY YU DICK (not pandery at all, just your average sexy teen idol wants boring fuckboy)

Teacher is dead he was dick and uggo so who cares lol

Chase after uggo game lover nerd haha dungeon is nerdy game shit lol video games cause violence right guys? Didnt u know that video gamers are all ugly socially inept muderous pathetic freaks????? THATS U BTW UR UGGO INEPT MUDEROUS CREEPY LOSER FREAK LOL

Also rise cums when you kill enemies

Now murders are solved rite so lets have celebration!!!! Girls make omlettes but they CANT COOK LOL wasnt that so funny last time joke so nice they made it twice

Summer festival time Rise wants yu dick and Yosuke wants wet dick but teddie claims all three girls for himself and they go without protest despite not wanting to because they are STRONG FEMALE CHARACTERS WHO KNOW THEIR PLACE AND KNOW NOT TO BACKTALK THEIR MAN (isnt this game so progressive)

PERSONA 3 REFERENCES also underage drinking bUT NOT REALLY JUST SEXUAL HARASSMENT BECAUSE LOL also teddie stalks them lol also teacher books SEX HOTEL???? How wacky

You kno how muder was solved WELL NOT REALLY WHAT A SHOCK THE GAME HAD NO PLOT FOR LIKE TWO MONTHS anyways

Naoto is strong masculine manly mc man detective but gets kidnapped and is actuallY TRANS BUT NOT REALLY IS ACTUALLY JUST GIRL AND THINKS SHES CHILDISH OR SOMETHING but NOT REALLY ACTUALLY SHE’s JUST LONELY but not really idefk. Remember kiddies being different is okay!!! uwu (so long as you ARENT ACTUALLY DIFFERENT U FREAKOZOID kill urself)

Cultrue festival Rise wants u 2 do her in school halls balls deep but game doesn't let you????? lame 0/10

But then YOSUKE FORCES GIRLS INTO UNCOMFORTABLE beauty pagent that they cant back out of even if someone else signed them up under penalty of DEATH AND RAPE (I presume) because yosuke remains such an endearing character BUT THEN girls get revenge by forcing him into drag contest and u and kanji too even tho it was only yosuke because the GIRLS ARE SUCH AMAZING FRIENDS lol girls are objectified lol fatty thinks shes hot lolllollollooololooloololoollolololooll0lkooolloollololoololol (game designers had to stop in order to finish laughing at own jokes)

then drag contest ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww grosssssssssssssss icky teddie wins because................a dude? PASSING AS A WOMAN??????? Totes not transphobic vibes none at ALL

then HOT SPRINGS SLEEPOVER at inn because there is just SO MUCH MORE FUNNY TO BE HAD (isnt this all so relevant to plot and character??? rich narrative very necessary part of story, game would be UNSALVAGABLE without it)

Girls are bitches and think that guys are perving because hot springs doesn't tell them when it's time for girls to go? ?????? Great fuckin service amagi inn also why would the guys perv by just casually walking in??? Why why why why why qwhyw why why anyways they throw buckets at the guys and it's HILARIOUS and not at all uncomfortable, guys run away in terror and the girls are like YEAH GIRL POWER!!! Then they find out about mistake and apologize like good friends, people and normal humans would b/c even for pervin that was extra no just kidding LOL They actually keep it a secret becausE LOL GIRL POWER STRONG RELATABLE FEMALE CHARACTERS AMIRITE WHO HASNT ABUSED THEIR FRIENDS WITHOUT ANY FEELINGS OF REMORSE OR GUILT LOL (also nanako saw that all bad influence on child)

since the friendships are all so wholesome and not at all toxic or unhealthy the guys totally write this off and try to explain themselves to the girls. NO, actualyl, since Tedide and Yosuke are still such ENDEARING characters they instead decide to molest girls in sleep RELATABLE but uh oh they accidentally molest fatty and uggo old teacher who looks 30 and then fatty and teach are like cool let's fuck and like REAL TEENS they are grossed out at being offered sex because yuck women over 20 and fatty also why are fatty and "old" lady hangin out anyway?? Apparently if ur gross u hang out together, b/c that's how it works rite. such grea t non contrivences

Nanako is dying whatever who cares

Namatame then kidnapps nanako or somth who cares dojima dies but NOT REALLY

then they go to heaven because nanako is sad but nobody gave a shit narukami never cared to ask or try to keep her company isn't he just so GREAT and considerate to the girl being boderline abused and neglected in his own fuckin house no who cares BUT NOW WE CARE RIGHT GUYS

Namatame is cray cray and his boss design is uggo and bullshit

Nanako dies, Yosuke advocates MURDER because he is still SO ENDEARING and player has to chose EXACT FUCKIN DIOLOGUE WITH NOT ONE MISTAKE OR EVERYTHIGN SUCKS AND ITS ALL UR FAULT also in some endings you murder because fuck you

but then if u dont murder NANAKO WAS DEAD BUT NOT REALLY but only if u dont murder so congrats u were emotionally manipulated into killing the mentally ill b/c ur so great good job

then it turns out Namatame you know how he was cray cray well turns out he wANST REALLY CRAY he just had plot-convient-tempo-insanity-itius as the doctors call it then u talk to him and u know how he was the killer? Welll...NOT REALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY he was actually good guy u almost killed innocent man fck u then u have three chances to guess killer and only u can and if you dont get it in three guesses you get, as the doctors call it, plot-convient-stupid-cant-think-anymore-itius and thus you run out of time and nobody in the world can guess except you and even over the next three months nobody can guess because who cares I guess lol 2 ppl r dead it turns out you know quirky relatable cop man well NOT FUCKIN REALLY he is actually crazy because he's bored and as everyone knows when youre bored you kill also he's sad that he doesn't have talent even tho he is sucessful detective???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? then god bullshit end of world or smth who cares

then everything is over also i forgot teddie disappears so sad but NOT REALLY

Christmas eve sex ( i banged rise on top of christmas cake)

Girls can now cook character development girls learned how to cook 10/10 v progressive

Then flash forward to three months later because fuck you and Yu is leavin because idk and the game ends BUT NOT REALLY ashkually you can get TRUE SUPER AWESOME ending if you are able to figure out that you have to go to junes for no reason except fuck you

turns out the gas station attendent u know him? well he was super bored and he's actually a GOD WOWZERS so amazing did you know jesus was a part timer at a gas station????? NO??? That's why youre playing this sack of shit anyway humanity wants ignorance or so god says (sound familiar, Nyx??) and she almost wins BUT NOT REALLY Because yu has the power of frienship and you know that awesome scene of makoto fighting nyx? Well imagine thaT BUT SHIT b/c no buildup

for all ur xtra efforts u get teddie saying hearts are connected anime KH cliche (wasnt that so worth the extra bullshit dungeon)

Yu is leaving SO SAD WHAT ARE YOU CRYING ABOUT P3 WUSS CAST? Your friend is dead? GTFO with those 1st world problems NARUKAMI HAS TO TAKE THE TRAIN TO SEE HIS FRIENDS THIS IS THE TRUE TRAGIC DRAMA WHAT COULD BE WORSE

THE END 0/10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

#3 - ASSULT OF THE CASH COWS

so p4 is gr8 rite m8? well no but apparentlly dumb 14yr old boys were like "omg this game half akcnowleges gays exsist so PROGRESSIVE also i can fuck mai waifu n have friends" and so p4 made a shit ton of money atlus saw dis money printin out and were like $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so dey were lyke "lets release a buncha shit”

Persona 4 The Animation: Imagine the same shitty p4 plot but with EVEN MORE HOMOPHOBIA!!!!! also racism!!!! plus MORE FAT JOKES!!!!!!!!!!! Hahahaahahahahah also the animation is piss poor shit!!! Doesn't this sound wonderful?????

Persona 4 Arena: So Atlus was lyke yannao wat totes goes with our super serious and super "mature" jrpg seriess? Do u kno? BLAZBLUE!!!!! The over the top weeb fighting game!!! YEah son!!!!! So anyways a fighting game comes out with barely any playable characters??????? Great. Fantastic not the least bit fanficy character writing. Also, there is a plot b/c dis shit be canon. Dats right!!! Now you may be thinking "mmmm how does that work????" well the geneiuses at atlus say "B/C SHITTY P3 RETCON CHARACTER IS SAD ABOUT DESTROYING FRINEDS WHOLE TV WORLD BECOMES ARENA WERE PEOPLE HAVE TO FIGHT FRIENDS" and u may hear that and wonder?? "what deh fuck, wasn't tv world gone also when did this ever happen in p4????" to which fanboys proply accuse u of hating fighting games and behead u.

So at this point in time, P4 is offically dead. It is dead as doornails. but atlus is lyke "Hey let's rape the corpse" and they release shitty remake on overpriced shit system nobody bought. You may be wondering "2012 didn't p4 only come out less than five years ago????" to which atlus says "shut the fuck up and give us money" hence P4 Golden

Persona 4 Golden: Added marie, inistant failure trashfire BUT WAIT!!!! THERE IS SO MUCH MORE!!!! Added events!!!

a) Yosuke wants dick wet and will cum if he feels boobs on his back!! So Yu and Yosuke team up to get shitty dumb ugly bikes b/c they're sooooo cooool rite mitsuru? You and ur dumb motorbike p4 is the real mature game. Anyway. Then they go hit on girls and yosuke gets one!!! YAY!! BUT OH NO!!! IT'S ACTUALLY STUPID FATSO STILL THINKIN SHE'S HOT WHEN SHE'S ACTUALLY STUPID BC SHE'S FAT!!! She then sits on yosuke's bike and it breaks because lol shes fat get it get it get it get it????? Doesn't this add so much to the story??? RICH NARATIVE RIGHT GUYS?!

b) BEACH TIME!!! Because that's where the real compelling drama is!!! Anyway they go to the beach and yuckerbears kanji is in a speedo!!! Gross!! I hope yosuke doesn't catch the gay!!! Then teddie tries to molest the girls bc he's such an endearing character lol then kanji's bathing suit falls off!!!! How did this happen u may ask?? ANIME MAGIC!! So then they dress kanji in seaweed like birth of venus and girls scream and run. the end.

c) Fireworks festival yay time ted-fiya so memorable. Yosuke wants to murder Teddie bc PORN so funny haha more fat jokes also teddie wants 2 bang nanako

d) Nanako is sad again whatever who cares

e) Halloween party!!! BUT NOT REALLY!!

f) SKIING TRIP!!!! YAY!!! P3 REFERENCES!!! YAY!!! Shiptease!!! Yay!!! Teddie steals food so Naoto advocates for his MURDER!!! YAY!! IF YOU DID MARIES SLINK YOU GET XTRA AWESOME DUNGEON!! ALSO IMPLIED RAPEY SEX IN THE SNOW BUT NOT REALLY!!! ANYWAY turns out that marie sucked up the ameno sagiri fog! What u thought it just went away on its own?? BULLSHIT!!!! Next you'll be questioning the ever so important role of NPC John Smith in creating Izanami's gas attendent disguise. Or NPC Billy Bob in giving Ameno Saigiri directions to the boss fight. RIVETING DIOLAUGE LIKE "is this like the part in movies where the bad guys lair collapses??????" WORST GIRL IS DEAD BE SAD EVERYONE ELSE IS U MONSTER!!! BUT NOT REALLY!!! INSTEAD SHIP FUEL!!!! Also marie is polite for half second, AMAZES ENTIRE CAST GREAT WRITING!!!!!!!!! dont u love it when ur friends treat u like shit? then there’s a lovely scene where the dudes perv on the girls who are sexaulized and marie attacks them. Riveting. Then they all died and we were all happy.

g) New years eve. That is all. also new stupid persona evolutions that look stupid.

h) Valentine's DAY!!! I bang Rise on the da beach!!! Also if u slink with marie at all she forces you to cheat!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!

i) OH, NO! Yosuke is going to have to move maybe idk wasnt he supposed to want to move??? idk shut up. anyways. to keep yosuke miserable his friends have to become a band in TWO DAYS!!!! How will they ever do that??? well guess what with zero experience the entire group becomes master musicians in TWO DAYS!!!!!!! That's right, it's that easy!!!! U 2 can become as good as Green Day in two Days!!!! not that they ever play again lol or ever bring this up again lol. Then the dudes jump into the crowd and lol the crowd dodges thme aand nothing is accomplished.

j) New super awesome epilogue you only get if you slink marie even tho she isn’t there for 90% of it whatever the new designs suck

Anyway since the game isn't slice of life enough you can now bang rise in the movies and the hot springs also you can go out at night so exciting.

You can now force Naoto into sexy outfits against her will because isn’t it so cute when girls don’t like being objectified??? Also they molest her at the hot springs??? Also

So yeah P4G sucks ass. But ATLUS didn't stop there!!!! OH no! Atlus then went on to make Persone Q!!! They decided this time to drag innocent bystander P3 as well!!

Persona Q: some bullshit about a dying girl causes the P3 and P4 cast to meet in a wonderful culture festival crossover!! With lovely gameplay and no regression in character!! Chie always had nothing to her past loving meat right????? Also yu can fuck the dog from p3!! isnt this so believable and not the least bit stupid or contrived? isn't it?? Isn't it???????? Not much to say its just dumb surely Atlus must be done now right?? RIGHT?? WRONG!!!!!!

Now you see since P4G came out, OBVIOUSLY the anime needs to be partially remade! You may be asking, isn't the anime less than TWO YEARS old at this point? Why remake it? Did golden really have such a different story? No.

P4 Golden Animation: Marie, marie, marie, marie, ten episodes of marie, never goes anywhere, confusing and boring af but look 16 yr olds in bikinis and nude and not totally shit animation so it's ok right? RIGHT? RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! P4 at this point has been raped to death all over again and the corpse is still being fucked and they won't just let it die. BUT NO!!!! Enter p4 arena ultimax!!

P4 Arena Ultimax: B/c the first was so great, they made another!! Game so nice they made it twice!! but now the dark hour from p3 is back because idk we ran out of ideas. Also junpei and koromaru and adachi great. But guess what!!!!!! AWESOME NEW CHARACTER!! His name is sho!! He is the secret son of dude from P3, how is this possible? fuck you. Anyway he is so tragic and sad he hates friendship!! awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! :((((( But never fear!!! The p4 team will show sho the glory of frienship isnt this so interesting and original and great????

p4's violated, torn up corspe now has zero dignity left so atlus decided to reanimate the corpse with dead horse dildos and force it to dance

P4 DAN: Dancing. Shit dancing. Nobody knows how to dance. Remember how P4 used to be about murder and accepting uncomfortable truths???? Well now its about shittily animated dances. Isn't this so great? Guess what we lean about the characters? We learn that they can't fuckin dance and watching them is cringy af. Also now the tv world is a dance stage because the tv world just does whatever the fuck we want it to. what if a characters shadow is a rapist, would they be forced to rape?? is that how atlus would make a porn game?? if we wanted to make a chess game a famous chess player who feels forced to play chess will then make u forced to play chess. .... so obivously, the P4 fandom realized that Atlus was raping their game and refused to buy it right?? RIGHT??? WRONG. They actually will castrate you with a rusty carving knife if you ever so much as imply P4 is a cash cow.

It totally is tho

#Persona 4 #Persona 4 Hate #Kasu.txt #rape mention

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yoramkelmer · 5 years

Text

Hogwarts Overexposed Chapter 2: An Old Friend Part 1

So, it´s been a while, but so many things have happened, but now I´m finally done with my masters thesis. Now let´s go back into the travesty that is the Hogwarts Exposed Saga.

When we last left off, the Sues had portkeyed to Fort Lauderdale, only to be apprehended by a gang of rapists. Yeah.

But, as if knowing what to expect, each boy leapt toward a different girl on the count of three, knocking his respective target to the hard asphalt covered ground. Art had targeted Jamie and held her menacingly against the ground, his knife at her throat. "If you try anything like that again, I'll slit you in two from your skinny neck right down to your cunt. Get the message?" I´m kinda surprised that Jamie Sue wasnt able to fight back, given that she is so powerful.

"Art, something is weird about these girls," Phil said, holding out Caitlin's wand to Art. "These three were all carrying sticks like this in holsters attached to their leg." "Where is your little stick Miss Big Tits? "Art asked as, without warning, he lifted Jamie's skirt above her waist. Momentarily he froze; then as he rubbed his fingers over her mound said, "You and I are going to have lots of fun."

Just in case you forgot that this is Hogwarts Exposed. "Guys, check out this bitch!" Art yelled as he forced Jamie to her feet, her skirt still gathered to her waist. "No panties and not even a trace of stubble anywhere on her pussy or ass."

I hate this fic. "These two don't either," yelled Phil and Pete. "This one is a smooth as a baby," voiced Lance.

A smooth what? Kim stared at the severely pockmarked Lance. Other than knocking her to the ground, he hadn't touched her and had no way of knowing what he had just declared.

That doesnt mean anything. "Gentlemen, we are about to have a party," Art declared, "but not here. Let's take these ladies across the street to the parking garage where we can see them better." "What about the sticks they were carrying?" Phil inquired. "Just toss them," Art instructed. "They're probably some new type of stunner or spray. I don't intend to fuck up my night with them. You guys lead the way with your lady friends. "And ladies… don't try anything. I'll have my knife at 'Miss Big Tits' back the entire time. One mistake on your part and she'll be making a visit to the morgue."

In case you haven´t noticed, all of Neils bad guys sound the same.

Meanwhile, the others portkey to Fort Lauderdale as well and can´t find the girls, except for their wands.

Emily had never felt so scared and vulnerable in her entire life. As they crossed the street, a number of automobiles sped by, but the drivers evidently were in too much of a rush to notice the terror on her face. A taxi slowed down, but Art waved the driver on. When they reached the garage, Phil yanked open a metal door leading upstairs. Caitlin screamed, as his hand reached out and prodded her butt. He shoved her face first into the cement steps. "Scream again bitch and you've had it," he threatened.

Isnt Caitlin supposed to have these superior Sue Powers due to her being a Hyperempath, that can make her torture everyone with her mind as she pleases?

Why isnt she using that now? "For Christ's sake, leave her alone," Lance said. "Let's just grab their dough and get the hell out of here before someone tips off the cops!"

In case you haven´t noticed, Lance is Neil´s self insert Mary Sue here, the token good guy of the rapist gang. "You are a fucking fag!" Pete declared, ripping off Emily's skirt with one hard yank. "This looks like prime stuff to me. No way am I going anywhere before I fuck this hairless little bitch. Besides, shit for brains, do you see any pocketbooks?" "You got that right. Look at these boobs!" Art said, ripping Jamie's top off as easily as if it were made of tissue paper. "You don't think I'm going to pass up the opportunity to suck on these babies, do you?"

I have a feeling that Neil is speaking through Art as well. "Don't worry," Lance whispered in Kim's ear, "I won't hurt you."

That doesnt sound creepy at all in a situation like this. Not. "But what about them?" Kim begged softly, her eyes glistening. "They're my friends. Please don't let this happen." Lance looked helplessly at Kim, as she stared at Caitlin, who lay motionless on the stairs, blood trickling from a gash on her forehead where her head had made contact with the rigid cement.

Caitlin, use your Sue Powers dammit. Pete brandished a fifth of whiskey and after taking a swallow shoved it in Emily's face, slopping it all over her. "Stop wasting that stuff," Art yelled. "What's the matter, think you're too good to party with me?" Pete grabbed Emily by the back of the neck. "Open your mouth," he hissed. Digging his fingers into her neck, he pulled her head back. Finally she gave in and opened her mouth. He poured the whiskey slopping it in her face and forcing her to swallow. Emily gagged, but resisted heaving. "You're a sloppy little bitch," he said, ripping her shirt open and wiping her face with it. "Damn, I can't wait to stick my shaft in your little gold mine. FUCK YOU NEIL Phil, hold her for me." Cut for more creepy rape build up.

"Jesus, she's pissing on herself," Pete said, drawing his hand away, but only momentarily. The vision actually seemed to be exciting him as he quickly unzipped his pants. His penis in his hand, he started to lower himself on Emily.

Neil has some really creepy fetish with peeing, if you haven´t noticed. And it´s getting worse in a few chapters on..... Then, just as his body was about to make contact with Emily's, he let out a terrifying scream and grabbed his head with both hands. Blood was covering both sides of his face and his body was writhing in agony.

Why did it take so long for Caitlin to use her Sue Powers again? "What the fuck!?" Art yelled, no longer paying attention to his captive, Jamie. "What just fuckin' happened?" Jamie now had the opportunity she had been waiting for. She hastily removed her wand from the invisible sheath she had been given by Mr. Ollivander for saving his shop. Why didnt she do this immediately when the rape gang appeared in the first place? "STUPEFY! STUPEFY! STUPEFY!" she yelled in quick succession as she pointed her wand and shot red beams of light at Art, Phil and Pete in turn. But when she turned to Lance, Kim stepped in her path.

What is it that makes Lance so different from the others?

* * * * * *

The others try to find the girls, and suddenly Hermiones gets to make hyperempathic contact with Caitlin.

"Their okay," she finally said. "It was touch and go for a bit, but everything is under control now."

I repeat: it would not have gotten this ugly if Caitlin had used her Sue Powers on them earlier! Harry, Ron and Sam stared at her. "Caitlin?" Sam finally asked. "Did she just contact you telepathically?" Hermione, nodded. "Her Sue powers are unbelievable when she concentrates on using them. There is a parking garage across the street. They're on the top floor. We should try to get there before the magical reversal people arrive." They hurried to the mouth of the alley and then practically ran across the street and up the stairs of the garage. When they reached the roof, they momentarily all froze as they absorbed the sight before them. Kim was standing talking animatedly to a youth who was wearing what appeared to be a gang jacket. This is the first actual descrition we get of them. Three other youths, dressed similarly, were lying unconscious and tied securely. Jamie, Caitlin and Emily seemed to be reassuring each other, their clothes either partially on and torn or not on at all. "MUM! DAD!" Emily shouted as she ran toward them. "IT WAS AWFUL!"

Yeah.

But given that this is Hogwarts Exposed, not really surprising.

And in general, rape is not a thing that should be used for angst or shock value in fiction - it´s just wrong!

"Mum, I know it was wrong," Caitlin cried. "You warned me about using my Hyperempathic powers to injure, but I had no choice. He was about to rape her! I couldn't let that happen… she's my sister… I love her.

Caitlin, this was pretty much a situation of self defense, and you could have avoided most of the rest if you used your Sue Powers earlier. "They all thought I was unconscious, but I wasn't. I was concentrating, trying to reach you, but you hadn't arrived yet. He had getting ready to… oh god, you know… then I remembered the knife they were using. I visualized it slashing his face on both sides, and immediately he was screaming and blood was gushing from the slashes I had given him through my thoughts." Hermione looked toward the boys to see which had been slashed. "He healed as soon as I stopped visualizing hurting him," Caitlin explained.

Apparently Caitlin is such a pure Sue that she couldnt even kill the guy who was raping her sister. Hermione put her arm around Caitlin. "I know what you think you did was horrible, but listen. You have been given a gift, a powerful gift that is capable of both saving lives and taking them. Your choice to only hurt him when you could have just as easily killed him shows get strength of character. Your Dad and I are both very proud of you. Use your Mary Sue Powers wisely, my Child!" "I imagine that is your handiwork?" Harry asked Jamie as he studied the unconscious and bound gang members. Jamie nodded her head. "Once Caitlin had them distracted, it was easy to get to my wand. Muggles don't stand a chance against magic."

The last sentence sounds kinda creepy. "That is why under normal circumstances it should never be used against them. I think, however, that in this case the use was certainly justified. What about him?" Harry asked, indicating the boy talking to Kim. "He seems different from the others," Jamie answered. "He didn't touch Kim and even tried to talk the others into letting us go."

And now we move to the most disgusting aspect of this completely pointless sub plot - the portrayal of Lance as the main victim of this entire thing! Lance was speaking in a soft voice to Kim. "I've never been with a girl, even on a date or anything. Girls won't have anything to do with me. I can't help my face; it's so ugly. But I wouldn't ever want a girl that didn't want me. Do you think a girl like you would ever want to go out with me?"

Why the fuck are they talking about this, just right after attempted mass rape? "Yes," Kim said. "If you were nice to her, and protected her, a girl would want to go out with you."

Shut up Kim -_- Lance stared at Kim for a minute, trying to decide if she meant it, or was just lying to make him feel better. What possessed her to do it, she'd never know, but Kim kissed him, and then ran to talk to Caitlin leaving the boy standing dumbfounded.

Neil´s wish fulfillment After a few minutes of conversation with Harry and Hermione, Kim returned to Lance with Caitlin by her side. "Lance, my friend Caitlin has Sue powers that are uncommon even among our people," Kim said. "I've asked her to try something, something that could change your life. Will you trust us?" "Yeah," the youth said without hesitation. "I trust you." "I've never tried to do anything like this," Caitlin said. "I have to touch you; actually run my hands across your face. It won't hurt. Whether I'm successful or not, it won't hurt."

So....she´s turning him into a frog? Lance nodded his head. He wasn't sure what these girls had in mind. He was still trying to deal with the information that witches actually existed and that Kim and her friends actually were.

And yeah, they won´t wipe his mind afterwards. Caitlin began to run her fingers and palms against Lance's skin, akin to a sculptor working with clay. She missed not a spot as her fingers caressed his nose, ears, checks and neck, every part of his head. Then for the briefest time, hideous scares and pockmarks invaded her face. Subsequently, as fast as they came, they were gone.

So she turns him beautiful with her Sue Powers. Because Beauty equals Goodness.

"I think you'll find the girls quite eager to kiss you now," Kim said, gazing at Lance with appreciation. "Be careful though in your choices. You, better than anyone, should know that outer appearances don't necessarily portray the person within."

Barf. "What did you do?" Lance questioned. "She gave you a second chance," Harry said. "One of the prime excuses you had for falling into the company of these scoundrels no longer exists. Leave now while you still can, with the memory of what has transpired intact. Remember what has happened, but tell no one, else you will be considered by them a liar and a fool. Now get out of here."

Easily forgiven.

I hate this fic. Lance looked in turn at Harry, then Caitlin and finally Kim. "I wish I were a part of your world," he said smiling. "I'll never forget you," he added as he turned and ran down the stairs.

I wonder if Neil ever planned on having this cardboard stand return as a possible love interest for Kim.

Because he certainly never appears again or is ever mentioned again after this chapter. The boy had barely disappeared from sight when two loud pops, announcing the arrival of members of the American Improper Use of Magic office disturbed the early morning quiet. "What the hell happened here!?"

* * * * * *

The American Accidental Magic Reversal Squad, once they arrived, had been quick to put everything back into its proper order. The three gang members had their memories adjusted, and were portkeyed to the scene of a staged robbery, where they were taken into custody and charged by Muggle police. Obviously, under the circumstances, it was impossible to charge them with the crimes they had actually committed against the girls, but this way they would at least serve deserved jail time.

Well, yeah.

Cut for more boring talk, including Harry talking about cancelling the trip, only for the Sues to object.

"I actually prayed to die rather than have them touch me," Jamie sobbed. "I didn't want to leave the shower after I finally got in. I felt like I could never wash the stench of him off my body. But now I realize I have to put it behind me. It's over. Concentrating on it will only soil the future and continue giving our attackers power over us."

Neil, this isnt how trauma works -_- "Never pray to die," Caitlin said, hugging Jamie. "That summer when Hooch attacked me and I was abandoned in the woods, I prayed for a fast death. God knew better and didn't answer my prayer. Now I have you, all of you." She looked from one to the other. "I have horrible memories in my past, but my present with all of you makes them bearable. You can never forget atrocious things like what happened today, but you have to go on and savour the positive things life offers."

Caitlin only ONCE acted like a girl who was raped by another woman, and that was when a naked Jamie dragged on her. After that, nope, she never acted like that again, exept for that one “agony of the stick” scene that never was mentioned before and never got mentioned again afterwards. Kim had sat quietly as everyone commented. Then as tears burst from her eyes, she spoke. "Maybe what happened today was for a greater purpose. I'd like to think it was to give a person a second chance at life. I'm hopeful that because of us, Lance's life will change.

Yeah, yeah yeah, after a gang tried to mass rape you all, Lance is surely the main victim here. I hate this fic. "People can affect other people's lives, you know. You've all affected mine." She looked from person to person, her eyes finally stopping on Emily. "Before, I met you, I tried to kill myself three times. I was getting better at it. I think if I had tried one more time, I might have succeeded. But you stuck your nose into my life and turned it upside down, or maybe in my case, right side up."

Well, the Mirror of Ytidun said so. Caitlin, Emily and Jamie stared thunderstruck at Kim, as did Harry and Hermione. She had never before revealed this information about herself to them. "Ruffians like we met today are no different than terrorists," Kim stated. "They are cowards that strike the innocent and defenseless. We can't let our lives be directed by such lowlifes."

Again, this is not how trauma works!

This section ends with this:

"We're also hungry," Emily announced. "Do you think this place has room service?"

* * * * * *

Although certainly not able to remove the morning's experience from their minds, the girls all left the hotel with a determination that they would not allow it to ruin the holiday they had looked so forward. As they squeezed into two cabs for the short trip to the dock, Hermione shushed Emily when she suggested that perhaps her Mum should put an enlargement charm on the interior. When they passed the parking garage, Caitlin and Jamie exchanged nervous looks and reached for each other's hand, sure that Emily and Kim in the other cab were sharing similar feelings.

This is the last time the whole incident is mentioned. Afterwards, the Sues act as if it never happened, and as said earlier, Lance is also never mentioned again.

And I wonder, why the hell was this portion in this fic in the first place?

What was the purpose on it? What effects is this going to have on the rest of the fic?

I guess it was used for the same reason why Caitlin and Hermione were molested by Madam Hooch - pure sensationalism.

"Why did those two blokes look at us so strangely?" Ron asked as the two cabs pulled away.

Foreshadowing. "Think about it," Sam said. "The drivers were Muggles and they just transported ten people to a dock to go on a cruise." "Yeah! So what's the problem?" Ron asked. "I think they were rather confused by the fact that we had no luggage for a ten day cruise." Sam answered. "Oh my!" exclaimed Hermione. "I should have thought about that." She looked carefully around. "Harry, you and Ron best enlarge our luggage before we board the ship. It might be a nudist cruise, but I'm sure it will seem very strange if we appear to have no luggage."

Occasionally you forget that this is supposed to be a Harry Potter fanfiction, more so than with My Immortal, of all things. "Is that our ship?" Kim asked wide-eyed. "It's beautiful." "That's it," Harry said. "The Sun Princess. It is ten years old, but as beautiful as the day it was launched."

He used the name of an actual ship. "It is pretty," Emily agreed, "and extremely big. I can envision getting lost very easily."

Cut for more boring, they check in, and the section is including a throwaway character named Bill.

As Bill guided them to the lift, Jamie pulled Hermione aside. "Just two of us to a room? Does that mean that Alex and I would have had our own room together for ten days if he had decided to come?" Hermione gave Jamie an 'I'm sorry' smile and nodded her head. Jamie shook her head. "I'm going to kill him. When I see Alex Ward in September, I'm going to literally kill him." She didn't mean it, but was just frustrated that they had missed this wonderful opportunity to be together.

We never get to know why Alex didnt get to come, and as we never actually see Jamie go after Alex, this was just very pointless.

So, the Sues are then having lunch, and then we get introduced to Kims actual love interest:

Between bites, Kim was checking out a very handsome boy who had just joined the serving line. "We're here to have fun, right?" she said. "Let's make a pact that anything that happens the next ten days stays on the ship."

Kim is around 13. You´d be forgiven for forgetting this, given the way they all talk. "Sounds to me like someone intends to cheat on Randy," Caitlin said kiddingly.

You forgot that Kim and Randy were a thing? You´re not the only one, given how forgettable and pointless Randy is in the first place. "Not so much cheat as have fun," Kim explained. "Randy would most likely get upset if he even knew I talked to another boy."

Again, we know next to nothing about Randy, except that his name is Randy and that he hangs out with Matt, whose character gets assasinated later in this fic. "Yeah!" Caitlin agreed. "Matt's the same way. He's really special to me, but he can be rather possessive at times."

This is the first time in the entire Saga that this is established. Neil, there is something called show, don´t tell! "Does that mean that we're four single underage girls on the prowl for a good time this week?" Emily asked. "Make that three girls," Jamie corrected. "And be careful how good a time you have. Remember you guys are all underage."

For once, I agree with Jamie. Yeah, I can´t believe I actually typed this. "Gee Sis! Get a grip," Emily said. "I didn't mean anything like that. I just meant swimming, dancing, fooling around. After what happened this morning, I'm sure none of us are thinking about sex."

And then it´s never even hinted at again.

Also, you most likely already noticed how Emily is the one of the Sues that basically only talks about sex - yet in a few chapters it is suddenly established that she doesn´t know how children are made.

I hate this fic. "You got that right," Caitlin said, and Kim agreed.

So, I can´t bear any of this any more today.

But lets return to the framing device:

“Ha, that was rather easy!”, said Ebony after she had eliminated Ariana Black and all her cheerleaders. Suddenly Gerard Way appeared in front of her.

“So, I finished up this preppy poser!” said Ebony, “where do you want me to go now?” Gerard then opened up another portal. “The place I want you to go now and defeat the Sues is very dangerous. It is a world so terrible, not even you can comprehend what is happening.”

Ebony then jumped sexily into the portal.

She then found herself in a very colorful and cheerful place. It was a very colorful city, and “CWC” was written on everything, even the roofs.

Ebony wanted to vomit.

#Hogwarts Exposed #Hogwarts Overexposed #Hogwarts Exposed sporking #sporking #Harry Potter #Hermione Granger #Jamie Zacherley #Caitlin Garrison #Emily Zacherley #Kim Thatcher #bad fanfiction #Neil #Rose Potter #Chris-Chan #Christian Weston Chandler #Sonichu #Mary Sue #Mary Sues

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