#but even he is more. neutral to me
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the thing about sweet home for me is, too many ppl from s2 survived and not enough from s1
#i cannot be bothered to care for any of these new characters sorry#except that one soldier dude#but even he is more. neutral to me#sorry to be that girl but#had they kept at least jisu around i would enjoy this marginally more#heli liveblogs#spoilers#not really#sweet home#there's too much 'ppl are the real cruel monsters' for me too and not enough 'we need to help each other'#that doctor guy for example... ok he's a cold bastard? doesnt make him interesting to me
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How do you think Sans reacts to Papyrus’s death during the runs?
If you mean in the base game, uh... we kinda already know? If Papyrus is killed, Sans doesn't show up again until the final corridor, where he'll ask "if you have some sort of special power, isn't it your responsibility to do the right thing?"
If you answer yes (that you do have that responsibility), then he responds, without eyelights or sound font, "Then why'd you kill my brother?"
And if you answer no (you aren't responsible), you get "well, that's your viewpoint. i won't judge you for it.... You dirty brother killer."
There's also the line of description you get if you go on to have a concert with Shyren after killing Papyrus: "A hooded figure watches the commotion from afar." It replaces the line that mentions Sans selling toilet paper tickets to your concert, and of course, of all the characters with hoods in the game, he's the one who would be most concerned with tracking your actions after killing Papyrus. So, it makes the most sense to infer that this hooded figure is Sans.
So his reactions, to me at least, suggest that not only is he heartbroken, he's furious with you. But Sans isn't one for direct confrontations and shouting like Undyne is, so he watches, and I think he still tries to understand why you'd do something so horrible. But that doesn't stop him from being angry because there's no excuse for killing his brother, but sparing other monsters, that he can fathom.
I'm personally not a fan of depictions of Sans sobbing over Papyrus' dusty scarf--he just doesn't strike me as a guy whose first reaction is to cry. For my understanding of him, it makes more sense for him to go numb, initially, then save his anger for his parting shot in the last corridor. No matter what you answer, Sans gets the last word in, and it's always to remind you that you did not have to kill his brother.
So uh, yeah. that's what I think.
#undertalethingem chats#undertale canon chat#character analysis#sans (undertale)#something sort of tangentially related that's always bugged me is people making sans' fight about avenging papyrus#when papyrus can die in so many other neutral routes and sans still won't lift a finger#and when sans *does* fight he doesn't mention papyrus at all until he loses#so like. revenge is clearly not something that motivates sans#that's more undyne's thing and even then. some neutral endings it won't motivate her either.#the neutral endings are so good for additional characterization and several are frankly unparalleled for angst potential#but they're tragically underutilized -.-;
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I was gonna wait and post these till I had more doodles but I’ll just post them now it’s fine. I’ll just explain stuff in the tags as per usual
Some Raz poses and some Dion and Adam stuff
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(Please do not use or repost my works anywhere without explicit permission from me thank you)
#deersart#my art#psychonauts#psychonauts 2#razputin aquato#psychonauts razputin#psychonauts raz#dion aquato#Psychonauts dion#adam joseph gette#Psychonauts Adam#this isn’t intended to be ship art of Dion and Adam#not in this instance#i just love Adam basically being Raz’s third brother figure#Lizzie and Gisu are there in a tiny tiny doodle so I won’t tag them but they’re there#i continue to draw Raz in a bunch of little outfits#if he’s not careful he’s gonna get a heatstroke wearing all that thick clothing and doing a bunch of physical activity#i wouldn’t say Adam and Dion would hate eachother. neutral on both ends I think#but since they both know Raz and Gisu I can imagine they’d be in the same circle and hangout everyonce in while#even if it’s not together#although maybe they’d be really chill friends#idk#it’s fun to think about#adams my favorite intern#let me know if you think there’s something else I should tag#I’d have more doodles but I got sucked into a game
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You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.
-Shrimp Anon
The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.
Get ready cause this is a yap session:
Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.
I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.
The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.
This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.
Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...
These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.
I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.
Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.
It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.
I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.
It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.
There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.
End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.
#i also think it is because mouthwashing is first and foremost a game about rape culture and the patriarchy especially in work spaces#regarding women and centering conversation around Curly a man rubs people wrong because it does overshadow that commentary#but it still mixes other topics into its initial theming and message on how abuse conditions you to accept certain things that are harmful#and how getting used to a culture/enviornment does not mean you are happy healthy or most importantly safe in it. I personally like to#explore those aspects where it mixes all the themes so we can discuss the ways you have to watch out for things because there is a differen#in the idea Curly enabled Jimmy just because they were bros and because he was an example of another man afraid to step out from what#is a still oppressive system that does try to punish those who act against it even if they fall in the category of those who would benefit#from it as Jimmy and PE 100% represent that sort of misogynistic system where men that would be “good” are altered until they follow line#in a way both on the personal and professional level as PE is the corporate lock out and Jimmy represents the social and its just the issue#that the discussion of it sounds like “in defense of men” when I am more so trying to discuss how it is much deeper than men being scared t#upset other men but complacency is rewarded by not becoming another person subjugated hence as all the moments Curly does try to do#something we can tie it back to how Jimmy reacts and a possible penality from PE where we now need to address the ways to combat those#two concepts so we dont get cases like Curly or Daisuke or Swansea where male avoidance of the issue is considered neutral or even good.#i think most of this boils down the perfect victim mentality to where if someone who underwent or is being abused is not a perfect example#or accpetible type than their abuse can not be considered a valid or substantial reason for effects on their behavior compounded with the#fact that Anya's abuse at the hands of Jimmy is a systematic issue that Curly is a part of even if unwillingly and was more physically#violating and topical cause sometimes i have to remind myself that all media is still critiqued through the lens of the culture it came out#in cause i do think about what if this game came out inlike 2014 like the conversations would be sooooooo different could you imagine it?#but back the before statement Curly isn't perfect but I feel like boiling it down if hes a good person or man is not the point of the game#but more so good people can still be part of the problem and the idea of condemning a person for one act creates a false sense of#rightouesness and justice that does not aid the victim and in fact aids the abusers in escaping blame for their mulitple behaviors as we se#how the men on the ship tend to blame Jimmy for just one act against them including himself while there is a plethora of things Anya is#concerned about with Jimmy#and its not that Curly just made one mistake with Jimmy but more so we consider his actions more damning because he didn't stop Jimmy#instead of focusing on the fact Jimmy did what he did regardless of Curly and the consequence because we already know he's bad n maladjuste#which is problem in the conversation where the individuals are blamed but the system and perputrator are overlooked in a sense of acceptiab#complacency as we know how they are and the lack of tangibility to personally affect them on a larger scale like I should just make a post#on like cutting out the face when it comes it confronting systems of oppression rather than tag talking but just ask me to clarify if#you want that like im jus trying to say we avoid talking about Jimmy and PE so much cause it is obvious what they do wrong that we make#the initial and inherent problem out to be one aspect someone in this case Curly does and the the constraints they use to force actions
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honestly, i think one of the reasons i can tolerate julian’s early seasons' behaviour towards jadzia is the way he approaches miles in an almost identical way, being annoyingly persistent, desperate for any chance to spend time alone with them, incredibly uncomfortable moments of trying to get miles to use his first name, etc. etc.
and whether I read that as julian having a similar puppy crush on miles as he does on jadzia or interpret it as a platonic desperation to make friends, either way, it at least tells me that for all julians faults (and boy are there plenty to go around—) he at least… isn’t Like That towards jadzia because she’s a woman, y’know? he’s just Like That with everyone because he’s overenthusiastic and lacking in social graces.
like, his behaviour towards jadzia is super uncomfortable and all, but the fact that he then turns around and acts the exact same way to his middle aged male coworker just… it adds something in context that shifts it from “wow julian is really creepy with women” to “wow julian is an idiot with people” for me.
i mean he is still pretty creepy with women a lot of the time and has obvious issues with toxic masculinity but at least his horrendous ‘wear them down until they say yes’ approach is apparently just the only way he seems to have of getting to know people and making friends.
#star trek#star trek ds9#julian bashir#stella talks#.also something about how sisko is like ‘well i knew dax when he was an old man’.#.and julian is just like ‘… yes? does that not make her more attractive to you? why not???’#.like other characters consistently are like ‘geez knowing dax when she was a he must be so uncomfortable for you sisko’.#.and then julian is just absolutely confused as to why that would possibly be an issue for anyone ever.#.<- we should talk about how people react to dax and gender whenever someone tries to pull the bigotry free utopia line.#.because clearly transmisogyny is alive and well in the federation even if it’s much more understated now.#.anyway i was playing an old farming/romance game on the 3ds and there’s this one guy in it.#.and i hated him when i played as a girl because he’s always talking about how pretty you are and calling you darling.#.even if you’ve like… just met him. and i was just immediately like ugh nope stay away from me.#.and then i played as a guy. and he… does the… exact same thing…#.and suddenly i… didn’t hate him anymore because oh. that’s just how he talks to people. oh my god.#.i mean that character is also definitely bisexual as well but.#.like i thought he was a misogynistic flirt but. nope. he covers for akwardness in social situations by talking that way.#.and once i had the context of it being a completely gender neutral behaviour with no ulterior motives attached. well.#.it made me recontextualise everything about the character and i realised i actually really liked him.#.and yeah realising that julian just doesn’t know how to make friends except via brute force does make me view him differently.
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The way I SPRINTED to my computer to make this the second Risky showed me this textpost
#what we do in the shadows#wwdits#nandor the relentless#Nandor#Autistic Nandor the Relentless#Autismposting#deadass i didnt even have time to rip HD screenshots I needed to get this baby OUT#a more Nandor ass post has never before been made#Obviously Nandor doesn't know wtf Autism is bc hes a nearly 800 year old vampire#In my mind tho Colin Robinson called him Autistic once and Nandor just assumed it was a complimentary adjective akin to Awesome or Majestic#'Guillermo which of these capes makes me look more Autistic?'#'Guillermo is that not the most Autistic painting of a horse you have ever seen?'#Colin Robinson wasn't saying it as an insult also just to clarify#Just as like#a neutral descriptor#which obviously applies to Nandor#Risky I love you and your brain it is huge and wrinkly
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i absolutely cannot believe people are trying to start discourse about whether nex benedict was actually nonbinary / whether it was okay for him to describe himself as nonbinary to some people if he didn’t actually identify that way as if he isn’t literally DEAD because he was KILLED. this is a MURDERED CHILD and these monsters are so busy getting mad at the possibility that he might have been a trans boy who described himself as nonbinary to his family because that was easier for them to take that they’re turning a CHILD who was MURDERED into fucking discourse. even when we die at the hands of cis people’s violence, our own community finds a way to make us the villains of the story.
and all of this bullshit on top of the ways that cis people are already trying to say our grief over his death is unjustified. all of this on top of people claiming he wasn’t murdered and speculating on other causes of death (i literally saw someone say he “clearly went home and took the coward’s way out” and i have never been more disgusted) or claiming that he started the fight as if any action on his part could’ve been enough to justify his death. i am haunted by the sound of his father screaming that his child was not filth because that is what people have been saying about this poor kid, that’s how cruelly his memory is being treated, and even the trans community can’t get it’s shit together enough to look past the stupid discourse and see the tragedy in front of us. did you all forget that it was supposed to be up to us to grieve him in the way he deserves when the rest of the world fails to care if people like him live or die? did you all forget that this child was our sibling, the future of our community, a life that we should have had the chance to know and treasure while he was still here but that we now have a responsibility to hold close to our hearts in his absence? nex’s life was precious and it was ended far too soon and if you truly believe that anything is more important than mourning his life and fighting for a world where no more trans people have to meet such an awful fate, you’re a traitor to this community and you do not deserve the place you occupy within it.
i’m so tired. i can’t even imagine how tired his family must be, to see the public treat the child they’re grieving so horribly, to see the world fail their baby again. leave him alone. he was already robbed of peace in life; the least you can do is let him finally have it in death.
#as a trans man whose family still uses they/them and neutral terms for me and would describe me as nonbinary#because that was how i initially came out to them and me being a man is a much bigger hurdle than i have the energy to help them get over#it’s SO deeply disturbing to know that if my life ended in violence#my own community would be more concerned with how my family referred to me in death than with the fact that i was killed#how fucking dare you turn this poor child’s existence into discourse fodder when they aren’t even here to defend themselves#when you only even know who he is in the first place because he was killed#tw transphobic violence#nex benedict#tbh it feels wrong to even add my usual tags to this but i need people to see it so. here we go#transandrophobia#transandromisia#transmisandry#virilmisia#virilphobia#anti transmasculinity#transmascphobia#exorsexism#trans men#transmascs
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The clock keepers deserve to have the full shaded promo art for their volume 🙏🙏
Edit: I HAVE THEM ALL!!!
#toilet bound hanako kun#tbhk#jshk#aoi akane#mirai#I AM WAITING FOR KAKO PLZ#like yes the illustrations for Hanako/Tsukasa/Nene are okay but the effort went clearly for the clock keepers#I couldn't be happier aaaah#AidaIro finally answering the “Does Akane have red or brown hair?” question by putting both colors on one illustration#Tea colored hair my beloved#jibaku shounen hanako kun#jibaku shonen hanako kun#I am eating the blue and yellow illustrations so much omggg#and this green/blue is so close to my fav color (called duck blue in french) I am so happy#I CAN COLOR THE OWLS NOW TOO YEEES#Akane *takes a pose with his owl pet*#he is sending me help#him always having a neutral expression as a clock keeper kills me#I can't go insane I don't have time but the clock keepers are always in my mind#it's even more obvious how Akane and Mirai have the same front bangs here I am ascending
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Son of Ogre
#*proceeds to French kiss his gf*#those scenes caught me so off guard like WHAT but also aww both are down bad for each other <3#baki hanma#baki the grappler#baki son of ogre#baki#my art#sketch#I need more girlies in the fandom like do you know how many fics this fandom has?? NOT ENOUGH#(girlies in a gender neutral way)#there’s even less fanart but I mean fandom-type of fanart if ya know what I mean#no but fr when he and his gf are in screen I feel like I gotta cover my eyes you never know when they’ll start climbing each other#BUT ALSO#it’s sort of refreshing seeing a shonen protag who seems to actually like his partner… like I was expecting a bromance not THAT#not complaining though they are cute
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I feel because of Jinx and Viktor’s popularity in fandom (having some of the most annoying fans in Arcane fandom) and the attention they receive in the show itself, people forget/don’t realise how bad they were done by the writers in s2
#saying this as someone who had thought jayce was reasonable for killing viktor in s2#the way they stripped all nuance from viktor’s actions and made jayce 100% right and the arcane/glorious evolution instead of highly flawed#and morally dubious/neutral#into just bad and wrong(tm)#was weird. it was weird.#i don’t want to compare to league because i do think adaptations should be judged on themselves for the most part#and i’m not too familiar.#but i think the ending should have been left open. like let piltover and zaun still be at war and the characters finding their place in that#also escalation from misguidedly transforming unwitting but willing people to viktor just deciding to turn everyone into an emotionless robo#was weird too#someone smarter than me do a deep dive idek#everyone became a centrist when faced with the true enemy; extremist zaunite (but like not even for zaun)#its not that i wanted viktor to be innocent. his actions in act 2 were morally dubious and he was destined to become darker and more extreme#but the way they did it was weird#and the way they resolved his character. it just feel so half-assed if you look past how emotionally charged and beautiful it was#do not even get me started on jinx… the ‘jinx is alive’ theory better be real because that’s the only way to salvage her character#but like i think they handled her character terribly for all of act 3#i think ekko and mel were done dirty in the way characters like lucas in st were. but i won’t get into that rn#jayce and vi also kinda felt reduced to their relationships…#arcane s2 act 3#arcane critical#arcane criticism#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane s2#viktor arcane#viktor#jinx arcane#jinx
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Nooooo that sad little smunkler has broken my heart! Wtf Talon stop being so mean to him for no reason!!! >:[
its okay, he just has bad days sometimes
#skunk mail#Anonymous#a doodley#because i gave talon so many of my traits its easy for him to get into ''i couldve been Like You if things had gone better'' mindset#even if it isnt rational#so sometimes things will be going good but he'll just get so mad with smunker for no reason#like smunker will just get too excited about something and he gets frustrated for reasons he cant understand#the thing is al is really good at shutting him down if he gets mean because al is a bit more secure#smunker is the much easier target for his bursts of Upset#but he's neutral positive most days...talon CAN be gentle and he can slip into gentle so easily too#he tries to apologize in his own way often and says he is trying#he's just not well adjusted... he has mood swings and self sabotages when he's finally shown so much care#and smunker is patient with him to their own detriment#(talon has even insulted him about this and caused massive upset - and then he regrets it)#dis is just recent development... we will see how things change ^_^#he's being nice to me right now but i never know how long it'll stick#its almost like he just doesnt want to be happy but i cant tell if he does it on purpose or not yet#pushing others away maybe?? but it also seems like he's just at the whim of his emotions half the time#gotta look further
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sims is a good outlet for my need to redecorate. i hate plain white/gray/beige aesthetics. if u couldn't tell lol
#ts4#the sims 4#show us your builds#tho this is more of an interior redesign instead of a build?#i would love to decorate the family home like this but 1) too poor 2) my brother would hate this much color#(we both hate how the all the rooms are currently painted now but for different reasons.)#(he prefers white/beige walls with colorful furniture and decorations. i hate super pale pastels that are basically just white)#(neutral aesthetics die by my sword lmao)#3) my grandfather likes the way it is now and doesn't want to have to paint again even tho i've told him i'll do it myself#n e way. don't get me started on this topic unless u wanna hear me be a hater lmaooooo
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Lately, when I talk about someone I strongly disagree with, I think about my friends.
When I interact with someone who regularly rants about people, and tends to take things in the worst ways (without any attempts at self-reflection or grace), I feel more on-edge. I'm nervous to voice opinions. I'm always over-thinking everything I send them, worried about how they'll receive it.
On the other hand, I feel much safer during conversations where someone is speaking neutrally about those they feel at conflict with. When they feel upset about a situation, but without talking aggressively about the other person. Because I know that if we're ever in a disagreement, or have some sort of conflict or misunderstanding, they won't hurt me or suddenly hate me*.
I used to speak much more aggressively about people. My personality disorders, combined with online toxic environments, were big factors in that. I was stressed and angry constantly, and I felt justified, and I felt afraid and ashamed to respond with anything but anger. But to make a long story short, I had several big painful interpersonal experiences where I realized how my attitude was impacting my friends.
I remember the nervousness in my friends' eyes. I remember the people I've met who are much older and never grew out of that reactive communication style, and I don't want to be that person. I want my loved ones to feel safe around me.
So nowadays, I do my best to speak compassionately (or at least neutrally). Because I want to signal to my friends that I'm not going to be cruel to them, or to automatically believe the worst of them, during a conflict or misunderstanding. I try to vent about situations and my fears instead of people.
I wish I'd realized this before.
*(I discuss splitting in the tags)
#actuallynpd#actuallybpd#actuallyautistic#relationship advice#communication skills#I added the autism tag because we missed the social cues that would have alerted us of this early on#and that sure is a big thing we talk about in therapy.#Accidentally hurting people is so painful. We learned this back in 2020 and have been#practicing it ever since. We've wanted to share this with others because honestly a post like this would have prevented a lot of pain and#conflict.#And as promised; about the splitting-#This isn't a post meant to shame anyone for struggling with intense anger or distrust or splitting or any other symptom#My partner and I both have PDs. I've learned to self-regulate intense anger before venting. I've learned how to use more neutral words even#when I don't feel them. And when he splits on me he tells me he's having a BPD moment and that he needs some time alone#That's okay and healthy <3 Mental illness is tough. PTSD is tough. I often jump to the worst conclusions because I'm scared of being hurt.#I've just learned to handle it differently.#I wanted to clarify that because I don't want anyone to think they're inherently bad for having trauma reactions. My goal was to make the#type of post I needed back then when I lacked that social awareness. I had to work through a lot of guilt and shame and that was really#really hard. But it was so worth it. I'm so so glad she told me.
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Idk if this is a controversial opinion but I low-key hate when people make Kim and his brothers distant but decide Kim is besties with Vegas at the same time
Kim had no problem walking into a random warehouse and immediately shooting at Vegas on sight
Like idc if it's just that Vegas and Kim are friends/friendly but it's when they specifically add that they are friends and Kim hates his brothers/does not interact with them but he kept in touch with Vegas?
#I personally feel like in canon Kim is at best neutral on Vegas but more likely has the same#feelings as Kinn and Tankhun and heavily dislikes/hates Vegas/the minor family in general#Like I understand it probably comes from Kim doesn't want to be in the#in the mafia*#then Vegas also gets out of it when his dad dies but it feels forced to me#(forced isnt the right word but i cant think rn)#i really can not see any circumstance where kim is willingly and happily reaching out to vegas to become friends#this extends to when people make chay friends with pete#kim is a reserved person why would he ever reach out to a cousin he has been taught to hate for years#even if theyre family tensions got resolved kim is not going out of his way to be friends#and i can not see vegas doing that either#any reason kim has to not interact with his brothers would surely somewhat extend to vegas?#idk if this is just a me thing but the second i see kim and vegas are best friends it annoys me#kim is not going to vegas over his brothers idc how bad his relationship is with them#if hes too paranoid to trust his brothers why would he trust vegas?#kim theerapanyakul#vegas theerapanyakul#mine
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Imagine you're Mr. Wu and your weird gay daughter runs away in tears after destroying some unespecified object while yelling about you ruining her life. Because you told her you'd be moving to another state. This is the last time you see your daughter in half a year, and when she comes back, she comes back... wrong. She's wearing a light leather armor, a fur-lined cape, and a green flower crown. She has two long scars, one alongside her spine and the other along her chest, the tissue around them covered in burn scars. Doctors say she shouldn't have survived. Doctors say she didn't. Yet she's right here, in front of you, hospital gown clinging to her small, fragile, trembling frame. She fidgets with her hands. Getting her to stay still has always been difficult, but now it seems impossible. She won't let go of her phone. She's always texting her two friends. When you take it away, she gets anxious. You always knew those damn phones cause kids to act weird, but your kid having a panic attack seems too extreme, even for her. Then again, she's always been odd. Nowadays, she wakes up crying and screaming almost every night, and you realize she's been stealing her phone from your bedside drawer every night to text her friends, returning it before you wake up. You catch her once and decide to give her that damn phone back. It's the only thing that calms her down, as if she were a baby with a pacifier. She spends her last weeks in LA clinging to her friends, having sleepovers and playing her weird board games with them. Everytime they drop her back at her house, there's an excessive amount of hugs and tears. But the moments when they call her, or when she leaves to meet with them, or when they show up at their door to pick her up... those are the only moments in which you see her happy. One of her friends, the rude and disobedient one, came back with a big scar on her face. She's been acting a lot nicer, though. The other one too. She acts a great deal more adult now. You doesn't know what happened or where your daughter went. She won't tell you. But you can tell this friendship is the only thing keeping her afloat right now. Maybe you know, deep down, that no one else would understand.
And then you decide to move anyway because fuck her amirite
#amphibia#marcy wu#my posts#so like what if marcy moving away was a proper tragedy#what if things were WORSE for her#what if *smashes marcy with a ROCK*#i realized that.#despite my parents being shitty (just found out literaly today my mom had doctors give me the wrong treatment because she assumed my body#would react the same way as hers. instead of doing what literally every doctor told her to do. now i need to get it fixed)#they still asked me how I felt about moving away to a different province when in like. 8.#like. oh right. this is something parents generally ask their kids about. instead of uprooting their entire lives out of nowhere.#marcy's situation is complicated in a narrative sense because#in order for her arc to work her departure must be dictated by morally neutral forces outside of her control#but her parents' decision seems very shitty with the context we're given. you COULD give context that justified their actions#i.e have them explain that they really do need this if they want marcy to go to college or some shit like that#but then it stops being Marcy vs. Forces of Nature#and it becomes Marcy vs. Her Dad (and she has to accept he's right in this one)#the show is clearly for a Marcy vs. Forces of Nature conflict (in this case it's the inevitability of change)#and in order to keep the antagonistic force abstract you CAN'T have her dad be a proper character#BUT. as a consequence -> Marcy has to give into the ''#the ''natural order'' which would be accepting her parents' power over her as natural and inevitable#it's not even like... accepting her parents are right or anything. just that their o#that their complete control of the situation and marcy's total powerlessness is natural and inevitable#and that's tragic! from a more watsonian ñerspective#perspective* : Marcy is sent back to her shitty parents and she just needs to learn how to deal with it away from her support system#the solution imo would have been to change the motivation behind her family moving away so that it's outside her parents' control too#it really has to be completely inevitable. i can't think of an alternative reason but it's just what it#it's what would fix this problem imo#it's a simple fix really
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Honestly the best part about True Neutral Jack to me is the fact he... doesn't even really care for the money. Sure he cares about the business growing and expanding but like, in his personal life? He's not doing shit with it for what we see. Like he's not this capitalist sigma grinder type with big dreams or goals like owning a mansion or some shit. Like im sure even if he was a millonaire he'd still be wearing the same suit and living in the same house and likely using the same cheap paint. He just needed a hobbie to run from the skeletons in his closet.
#luly talks#dsaf#dsaf jack#jack kennedy#its been a while hasnt it since i made one of my posts#but yeah no he's so silly i love a man who is so.#frowns just like me fr shakes fist in anger#like he's just such a comformist he's king of playing w the cards he's been given but that's rarely a good thing#like im glad at the very least his money allowed him to have a decent hospital but even still#like there's a lot more power you'd gain from money but he's settling for so little bc he's really not that kind of guy adn that's beautifu#neutral route jack will never not be a fascinating creature to me#youd even argue there's a certain learnt helplessness to it too its#i mean it really is a matter of him doign something to avoid doing what he KNOWS he has to do yknow#there's no forethought he literally just had everything to save them but he was like no im too tired ✋#i love jack blowing a kiss to jack#guys who deserve a break
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