#but driving a car would solve... 20% of my problems?

[beevean]

I need encouragement to be the bravest girl in the world (go out tomorrow to ask how much does it cost to get driving lessons because I haven't driven since I got my license 8 years ago and I need to learn again but I am scared) 😔

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman Groupchat (good timeline, which means everyone is alive)

Warning: dog funeral, car accident, suggestive (barely), swearing

Desc: Mikey doesn't have good time management skills (i am so terrible at descriptions, my bad)

Sano Gc

Emma: Michael

Emma: where are you?? :(

Shinichiro: Mikey you were suppose to be here an hour ago

Izana: why would you trust him to drive a car by himself

Izana: he's probably sleeping

Mikey: no i'll be there in like 5 minutes

Shinichrio: where are you??

Mikey: i can't see any street signs anywhere

Mikey: this is so stressful

Mikey: uh i just passed a bus stop that has a stop sign with a yellow dick painted on so

Shinichiro: that's 20 minutes away

Mikey: whoops

Emma: we're starting without you

Mikey: NO JUST WAIT

Mikey: why wouldn't you guys just let me get get here with my bike this would have solved so many problems

Shinichiro: cause Pah said we shouldn't. give Pochi some respect :/

Mikey: POCHI IS DEAD!!! AND DOESN'T KNOW NOR CARE ABOUT WHICH METHOD OF TRASPORTATION I AM USING TO GET TO HER FUNERAL. SHE ALSO WON'T KNOW THAT I'M LATE. WHY YOU ASK??? CAUSE SHE'S A DOG"

Mikey: YOU GUY'S ARE SO EXTRA

Shinichiro: dude :/

Everyone Gc

Izana: "POCHI IS DEAD!!! AND DOESN'T KNOW NOR CARE ABOUT WHICH METHOD OF TRANSPORTATION I AM USING TO GET TO HER FUNERAL. SHE ALSO WON'T KNOW THAT I'M LATE. WHY YOU ASK?? CAUSE SHE'S A DOG"

Izana: words from Mikey just btw

Baji: the fucking disrespect

Baji: i'm shaking rn

Mitsuya: dude

Mitsuya: first of all we've been waiting for you for like an hour

Mitsuya: and now this

Mitsuya: and it doesn't matter

Mitsuya: more than Pochi, it's about Pah who is our friend who is also in mouring

Mitsuya: be a little more sensitive

Mikey: but i was sleepy :(

Mitsuya: 😐

Takemitchy: Mikey-kun i offered to pick you up tho

Draken: why didn't you

Takemitchy: he said it was too early

Draken: ...😐

Hina: but it was like 11am

Takemitchy: he said he was still sleeping

Baji: you trust people for years and this is what you get

Baji: you're sick dude

Mikey: IT'S A DOG😭😭😭😭

Takeomi: pay some damn respect

Mikey: 🤨

Mikey: i know y'all didn't invite Takeomi

Mikey: i give it 30 minutes until the paparazzi he "didn't call" get to the funeral

Senju: bro acts like he's the famous one💀

Pah: Mikey i'm very disappointed in you, we're starting the service

Mikey: dude give me 5 minutes

Mikey: ...

Mikey: ...nvm

Shinichiro: what now??

Pah: bitchass

Mikey: bad news

Mikey: i've been hit by another car

Mikey: i'm fine tho

Izana: pity

Emma: ok let's just start guys this is getting ridiculous

Mikey: YOU GUY'S DON'T CARE THAT I'M LITERALLY IN A CAR ACCIDENT??

Chifuyu: can you not handle when attention isn't on you for one day????

Baji: you aren't dead are you

Baji: if you were a real mf you would have flied out the window and died

Kazutora: *flew

Baji: i don't have it

Kazutora: have what?

Baji: the flew

Kazutora: huh

Kazutora: what are you talking about

Baji: i'm not sick

Kazutora: ...

Kazutora: k☺

Takemitchy: guys can you be more sensitive

Takemitchy: Kakucho's parents literally died like that

Chifuyu: of what

Takemitchy: a car accident

Baji: real mf's🔥💯

Chifuyu: Baji-san

Kakucho: i wasn't really thinking about it until you said that Mitchy but that's fine

Takemitchy: 😟

Mikey: IS NO ONE FR GONNA COME PICK ME UP

Mitsuya: nah the service is starting

Draken: wait an hour

Mikey: where?? the wreckage??

Draken: idk the police station or smth

Emma: wait at the bus stop 😚

Mikey: i hope Ken-chin doesn't fertilize you for at least 5 more years

Draken: Sano istg

Emma: that's not funny🙁

Mikey: of course it's not funny, i'm cursing you

Pah: when you die, which will be very soon

Pah: i will make sure to take 10 heavy, fat shits before even thinking about coming on time

Pah: better yet, i won't come at all

Pah: i'll just continue taking heavy, fat shits while you're small, 5'3, decomposed body is buried, never to be seen again

Mitsuya: what the fuck Pah

Mitsuya: you could have said literally anything else

Draken: uh

Baji: that's the spirit ❗

Baji: some real shit

Kazutora: man what's wrong with you

Pah: i thought we were all on the same page

Mikey: ☹️

[brighteststar707]

either 20 or 24 with seven? i loveeee awkward and blushy saeyoung <3

can’t wait to see what you come up with for these prompts— you always come up with the most interesting scenarios and your descriptions are just so immersive :’)

Hi, sorry for the delays on this fic! I thought I'd pick prompt 20 and write my own version of the iconic 'hearing your voice...' phone call! That's some clumsy flirting if I ever did see it hehe

Thank you for the request! I hope you enjoy (and happy holidays <3)

Clumsy Attempts at Flirting

✦707 x Gn!Reader ✦ Words: 1054

There is a disturbance in Seven's head. Perhaps some faulty connection or something finally knocked loose during his last field mission, he's not sure.

He finds himself in the backseat in his own mind. He has no control over his racing thoughts and plans, much less the ability to focus on the demanding tasks ahead of him. Every time he tries, it's like his brain disconnects and leaves him with nothing but static. He tries to focus on agency work but finds his hands working on a robot prototype instead. He takes his car out for a drive to clear his head and finds no reprieve in even that.

It's embarrassing for him to admit this, but you're the only person keeping him somewhat sane at the moment. He finds himself opening chatrooms just to talk to you for a few minutes. Your voice manages to cut through all the noise the way nothing else can and it soothes him for short periods of time.

There is a sneaking suspicion in his mind that you're the one who's causing all this chaos to begin with, but that idea brings him no relief. If you really have unsettled him so, there is no solution he can imagine that would bring back his focus.

Either way, he likes to talk to you often just to keep the buzzing at bay. He knows that it's a temporary solution to a problem he suspects runs much deeper and is harder to solve. There is no place for you in his world. He'd like nothing more than to keep you as far away from it as possible, for you to never have to know of the terrible things he has done just to survive.

(If only that didn't mean having to keep himself away from you too - but he really doesn't have the time for fanciful thoughts like that.)

He tries other remedies. He tries to sleep, goes for longer drives, drinks energy drinks to keep him going. He even builds you another robot, hoping that if he indulges in one of his passing ideas it will keep the others at bay to no avail. The only thing that helps him focus is hearing from you.

You send him little texts throughout the day (as if you can tell how heavily he relies on them) and appear often in the chatrooms. With each passing day, he grows more and more distracted and, consequently, more desperate for any form of connection with you. His subconscious is occupied with nothing but the memory of you. Echoes of your voice, the sweet sing-song way you always seem to say his name (as if it makes you happy just to hear from him). It bounces around in his head at the most inopportune moments.

Less pleasant are the fears for your safety. Your voice in his mind twists into something awful, terrified, calling for him to help you. But you are, as always, somewhere he cannot reach. He finds himself occupied with all the different ways that things can go wrong - on top of all his other fears.

He closes his eyes and sees your face, his fingers type your name through lines of code of their own volition. It's getting dangerous.

He imagines it's that sense of desperation that causes him to type out your number one day (he doesn't even remember memorising it). He only notices what he has done when he hears your voice on the other end.

“Oh…you picked up! I just wanted to hear your voice while working, I must have called you without thinking. I… was worried I was going to forget what it sounded like.” God, he doesn't know what he's saying.

Somehow, you reward him with a laugh. His head spins.

“I didn’t wake you up, did I?” He continues. He isn’t sure what to do if you say yes.

He can hear the sound of your voice on the other end and it sends a jolt of electricity through him (better than even Dr. Pepper could do) but all he can grasp is you telling him something about being responsible for what he’s done. His heart jumps in his chest. You're teasing him, and he probably deserves it, but he can barely take it at the moment without turning into a blushing stuttering mess.

He starts to babble – about what, he can’t remember – just to fill the empty air so you don’t hang up. He wants this conversation to go on for a bit longer, just to keep hearing you talk. Pity it seems to have come at the cost of his filter. He finds himself talking about a dream he had a few hours ago.

Since meeting you, he has revealed so much about himself that he wouldn’t think of telling other people. He hears his voice saying things he has never dared to say out loud before.

“Something really strange happened when I was calling you before… My hands were just pressing your number automatically… It was like I was in a trance. I thought about hanging up, but I’m glad I didn’t.”

“I’m glad you didn’t too.” You sound genuine. Warm and so welcoming, he could just curl up and....

“Hah… hearing your voice… makes me want to take you to the space station.”

Why did he say that? It’s official, something is wrong with him. He feels the heat rising through his body and he feels like he’s about to catch on fire.

Before you can say anything, he blurts out, “Oh, I have lots of work to do so I need to hang up… Um… thanks for talking to me!”

He hangs up, buries his face in his hands and groans. You’re never going to talk to him again, and he’s certainly never going to get any work done anytime soon.

Still, despite his embarrassment, the memory of your laughing echoes through his head. It sends shivers through him despite still feeling so hot. He wants to - no, he has to - hear it again.

He keeps his face firmly planted in his hands (the skin of his cheeks is so hot, he idly worries that he's got a fever). He has no idea what he's going to do with himself.

He wants to call you.

[dragonagitator]

Questions for House MD fanfic authors, other House MD lore enthusiasts, and anyone familiar with Princeton, New Jersey geography:

Have you found or created any good references or headcanons for the locations that exist in the show, but not in real life?

If you live(d) in this part of New Jersey, do you have any opinions on where it would make sense to place things?

I ask because the House MD time travel / isekai author self-insert fanfic I'm writing is going to delve pretty deeply into the logistical, legal, and financial challenges of building a new life from literally nothing, 20 years in the past. Unlike @acrownforaking 's protagonist in "Intervention," my OC is not a teenage girl who can be passed off as House's long-lost daughter (which is for the best, given how much my middle-aged self-insert wants to fuck that age-appropriate man), and she is going to get off on the wrong foot with the characters who might have normally been the most able/inclined to help her.

So, getting around the Princeton area in 2004 as a broke semi-homeless person is a problem to be solved as part of the story, and thus I need to nail down the precise location of key settings in the Houseverse so I can figure out what they're within walking distance of, transit options, etc.

The Hospital

Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital doesn't exist IRL, and it's not simply a fictionalization of Princeton Hospital because that IRL hospital also exists in the Houseverse and is referenced a few times in the show.

I used to assume that the fictional PPTH was somewhere on the IRL Princeton Plainsboro Road, located here:

But the wiki reminded me that in "After Hours," it says Prospect Street on Chase's GPS. The nearest Prospect Street is in the town of South Brunswick Township and appears to be a residential neighborhood from "driving" down it in Google Street View, but there's a Prospect Avenue in Princeton that terminates on Princeton's campus:

Meanwhile, the building in the aerial exterior shots of PPTH on the show is actually the Frist Campus Center of Princeton University IRL:

And Frist Campus Center is located near the western end of Prospect Avenue, where it terminates at Washington Rd:

Meanwhile, while the show never explicitly identifies which medical school their teaching hospital is affiliated with, I'm comfortable headcanoning that Princeton University has a medical school in the Houseverse (it doesn't have one IRL). We can deduce from "Three Stories" and the early season 4 episodes that the hospital and medical school must be adjacent or perhaps even share some buildings because the characters seem to go back and forth between the classrooms and the hospital without putting on their coats or getting in their cars.

So I'm thinking of headcanoning that Princeton University has a much larger campus in the Houseverse than in IRL, with the medical school buildings and hospital complex clustered around the corner of Washington Road & Prospect Avenue (which is Prospect Street in the Houseverse). I'll keep the exterior of the buildings pretty close to IRL, but what's inside them will be different.

However, there's a couple of problems with this location:

1) Why would a hospital in that location be named Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital? Where does the "Plainsboro" part come in if it's not in that town or on that road?

The IRL Princeton Hospital is on Plainsboro Road, but again, PPTH isn't just a fictionalized version of the IRL Princeton Hospital because the latter exists in the Houseverse and is occasionally referenced on the show. We can also infer from some of Cuddy's remarks about Princeton Hospital that it is a completely separate organization with different management, specialties, accepted health insurance plans, etc.

And here is the location of the IRL Princeton Hospital in relation to Frist Campus Center (the building depicted at PPTH on the show):

Unless someone has a better explanation or idea, I think I'm just going to headcanon that there is/was a second hospital in the same area as the IRL Princeton Hospital that is/was named Princeton Plainsboro Hospital and that the PPTH from the show was originally a satellite campus of that hospital but is now independent. The "Plainsboro" part of the name is simply a legacy from when it was a satellite campus, and Cuddy is too financially sensible to waste a ton of money on a rebranding campaign.

I live at the bottom of "Pill Hill" in Seattle (First Hill) and can attest that having a bunch of different hospitals all clustered together is definitely a thing that happens IRL despite how counter-intuitive it is to have multiple emergency rooms within a few blocks of each other instead of spread throughout the city.

2) Where should I put all the university departments and functions that are displaced by turning Frist Campus Center and the surrounding buildings into a hospital complex and medical school?

This problem is an easier solve, because what's this I spy in satellite view:

Fuck that golf course.

So unless anyone has a better idea, I'm going to expand Princeton University's campus to the southwest, replacing the golf course that's there IRL. Maybe include a nice arboretum so that we still have some green space, but make it a park that anyone can use instead of a private golf club with a $6,000 (!!!) initiation fee.

House's Apartment:

Per his driver's license, House lives at 221B Baker Street (just like every other Sherlock).

His apartment (technically condo, since he owns it) is "a few miles" from the hospital per the episode "Whatever It Takes" and it's an 8-mile run via an unknown route (likely not a straight line) per the episode "Meaning."

His mother indicates that he specifically lives in the city of Princeton, not a neighboring city or suburb, because she's been following the Princeton police blotter ever since House moved there, per the episode "Love is Blind."

Unfortunately, neither of the local Baker Streets are even in Princeton:

So it seems that I need to just pick an existing street in Princeton and rename it as Baker Street in the Houseverse.

Ideas for some Princeton streets that are an appropriate distance from the hospital where a building that looks like this and the street name "Baker" would fit in?

I can't find anything about there being an IRL location that corresponds to the exterior of House's apartment building, so I suspect it's a fake building on a sound stage. But please correct me if I'm wrong.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts & help!

[rahmercy]

My mom has been battling stage 3 pancreatic cancer and 2 days ago, she completed her 4th chemotherapy session. She has 2 more to go before they assess it to remove the tumor.

She was diagnosed on November 28, 2023. She began chemotherapy December 26, 2023 and was admitted to the emergency room later that day from complications. She was discharged December 29, 2023 and my family came down to Florida on December 30, 2023.

On her birthday, January 2, 2024, after her follow-up meeting with her oncologist. She was feeling defeated about how things had been happening since her diagnosis. She vocalized no desire to live in front of us (including my 12 year old daughter (her only grandchild)).

My family (my spouse, daughter & myself), at the suggestion of my spouse made the commitment to be her ongoing support system. This is so she could make whatever decision she wanted regarding how she chooses to proceed with her diagnosis.

I personally committed to split time between our 2 bedroom home in Durham, North Carolina & her 1 bedroom apartment in Fort Lauderdale, Florida to make sure we could commit to her health treatment planned as it began taking effect on December 26, 2023.

We did not request anything from anybody and agreed to take on the additional financial burdens it would place on us to fulfill this commitment, (despite knowing we weren't in the financial situation to do so).

We arranged things so my spouse and daughter could return to school in NC on January 8th. I stayed back with my mom for that chemo week. Since I'm a business owner with time flexibility, I would make the trips and stay with my mom throughout the treatment windows in Florida.

This agreement means renting a car for an one-way trip to North Carolina or Florida weekly (a $200-275 expense & 11-14 hours of travel time per trip). The first time we brought her up to NC ever, my spouse drove our car down to get us and then shared in the responsibility of driving back to NC. It cost us $250 in fuel and food for the trip. We realized it gave my mom & I more flexibility in travel days, saved on time spent on the road, and cost the same to just rent a car (Chevrolet Malibu) for each trip.

This agreement meant now sourcing food with all my mom's health dietary restrictions (from having a gastric sleeve) & her diagnosis dietary restrictions for 2 households. As well as me preparing most meals for both homes while I'm in and away from NC. In addition, replacing gluten with gluten-free alternatives in the diet. (A lot more coconut and almond based supplies). Cooking meals for a family of four that works and can be considered Keto-friendly and cancer friendly and while trying to stay under a budget of $300-$350 monthly.

Since we've implemented this plan to be her support system, all hell has broken loose in our lives. (My mom calls it just life lifing though).

On Martin Luther King weekend, began a school district wide issue in my Daughter's school system. Different staff began protesting and calling out of work (which we personally support their stances) due to significant pay discrepancies being communicated.

This immediately meant unreliable transportation for my daughter getting to & from school 25+ minutes away. My spouse teaches in a different school system 20 minutes in the opposite direction of my daughter's school, and we only have one car. Since she started middle school this year, their school school arrival times are the same. But her bus pick-up time solved the problem there. So there is now an ongoing possibility of him being late to work at his school daily.

On our first trip back down for treatment, it went perfect with the rental, until I realized after returning the rental car that I had lost my business cellphone inside of the rental car. (It hasn't been found by Budget's staff during cleaning and the car had already been rented out again less than 2 hours after being dropped off.) So I still have to pay to get that phone replaced.

This is compiled on top of this being my businesses' slow season and having no reserves to catch the $950 overhead in monthly expenses that comes from inventory space, business insurance, & hosting email domains, office assistant services & website. We only one future booking on the calendar and it's for a new build. January there was only $900 made. $300 had to go towards having to subrent out the job because it over lapped with chemo treatment and would cost twice as much to keep in-house with temp staff. $150 went towards repaying our transaction based capital funding loan from Shopify. $120 went towards getting 2 items of inventory for the second booking.

So I borrowed funds from something I couldn't afford to take from just to keep all of our inventory spaces secured.

My Chase credit card is over the limit by $140 and a payment is due today. My secure loan payment with Navy Federal is also due today and I don't have any of it. My business insurance payment of $200 is due tomorrow, and I don't have that either.

And the difference in the cost for our last car rental to come down for chemo week is still due back to the card I used for it. And I have to pay 200 for the car rental to go back up to NC Monday.

Then back in NC, this week on Tuesday, our only car's engine light came on. It was taken into our dealership on Wednesday morning to find out why. That diagnostic end up costing $250. We finally got answers Friday afternoon. Our car has 139k miles on it, and we're being told the engine needs to be replaced. It has been quoted $8k to have a used engine put into it or over $12k to have a new engine with a lifetime warranty put into our 2016 Chevrolet Cruze premier.

This car gets everyone to school and has been how my spouse has been supplementing his income working for the school system and parks & rec by doing Shipt. So now income has been reduced even more and expenses have drastically increased more.

MY business first official rental booking for this year took place yesterday, and that was supposed to be able to be delivered using our car. Since it's still in the shop, we had to book a last-minute $200 car rental for my spouse and daughter to fulfill the booking delivery yesterday and to be able to go back to do the rental booking pick-up today.

Emergency fund is pretty much exhausted after this week and the savings, too. Then today, with a little downtime, I learn that all my email payments were due on MLK weekend. This resulted in 5 email domains (3 important ones needed for tax filings) to be canceled by godaddy after 2 weeks of missing the payment notifications. I've had the email plan for almost 10 years, and it initially only cost me $14/month for all 5 emails. But because it was canceled and the package no longer exists, it cost me $29/month to have them reactivate and restore the 3 important emails or over $70/month to get them all reactivated. I only activated the 3 and paid it up until April for $59, so I don't miss its before filing taxes.

This week in Florida, my mom's cancer treatment visits started charging her a copay. Due to an error that recently took place on the backend by her health insurance. It's taking longer to resolve it with then despite them already seeing that it'san error in their coordination of benefits process. This week alone, we had to pay $325 in co-pays just to avoid the chemotherapy and white blood cell visits at the oncologist from being canceled by their office. The error is still causing a previous $200 outstanding balance to reflect on her account.

TODAY, it all became too much to hold in any longer. I have never had to face this many trials all at once while still having ongoing ones coming my way. My heart, mind & spirit is heavy right now. I need GOD to do something supernatural for my family in this season. In a way, only God can show up. I'm not broken. My faith isn't shaken. We're not going back on our commitment. Cancer won't defeat my family! We're breaking so many generational cycles right now. Cancer was just the catalyst to expedite the process.

[all-the-things-2020]

No Better Place - Chapter 20

Summary: Monica has an idea and Cassidy gets a huge shock.

Warnings: description of panic attack

Word count: 3500

When Javi submitted a request for additional funding to add an equine therapy component to his department’s program, he hadn’t expected much. To his surprise, the city had responded within a week with a promise of at least $5,000 a year and the possibility of more. It turned out that the police chief’s wife and the mayor’s niece were both involved in a riding group that performed at local rodeos and parades, raising money for charity. Both of them were enthusiastic about adding a horse centered program to the city’s slate, and had applied subtle pressure to the chief and the mayor.

Monica worked with Mary Sue to draw up a proposal. Things progressed nicely as spring approached, until the day Monica appeared in Javi’s office, a frown on her face. “Bad news, boss,” she said.

“What’s up?” Javi asked.

“Mary Sue just got an offer she can’t refuse,” she said, sinking into the chair. Her belly was getting bigger and she took every opportunity to sit. “A very rich family in Dallas -- I’m talking J.R. Ewing rich -- has a child with several disabilities. They’ve made substantial donations to the Children’s Hospital in Dallas and they heard about the work Mary Sue is doing from someone who had been visiting the hospital here. Long story short, they’ve offered her a ranch -- like a five thousand acre ranch -- and a budget of $50,000 a year to move her organization up there so she can work with their kid. Of course, they’ll be able to write most of it off on their taxes, but still, it’s an amazing opportunity for her and they’ve even offered to help her husband find a job in Dallas. She couldn’t say no.”

“Where does that put us?” Javi asked, leaning back in his chair. He’d just gotten a tentative promise to kick an additional thousand dollars into the program budget from a local car dealer, provided he got a mention in all promotional materials and a small ad in the Blue Ridge brochures.

“Square one,” Monica admitted. “She did say the owner of the property she’s leasing would be amenable to transferring her lease with all the existing agreements to another nonprofit.”

“Which doesn’t do us any good, since she’s the only equine nonprofit in the area,” Javi sighed.

Monica shifted in her chair. “Well, maybe we could get someone from elsewhere to move up here,” she said carefully. “Like maybe someone from Laredo?”

“First of all, she won’t answer my calls. Second of all, she’s not a charity,” Javi said curtly.

“She’s not a charity right now,” Monica said. “But Rob’s got several nonprofits as clients. The paperwork isn’t that difficult, and if she registers as a nonprofit, she can get donations to help with expenses.”

Javi stood up. “She won’t listen to me,” he said. “She won’t even talk to me or my dad.” He ran a hand through his hair. He knew from what Chucho had mentioned that things were not going well financially for Cassidy, and this could really help her out. If she was willing to hear him out.

“How about if Rob and I get everything together, figure out exactly what she’d need to register with the IRS and then we figure out some way to get her to listen to our pitch?” Monica said. “If we have to, we can drive down there and ambush her at home.” She paused. “Look, Javi, I know you still love her. That’s abundantly clear. If there’s even the slightest chance this will get you two talking again … if the distance was the issue, then this solves that problem. She’d be a fifteen, twenty minute drive from your apartment. Hell, you could move out there with her and commute to work, no sweat.”

Javi stared out the window, which didn’t have much of a view, just an alley that allowed access for delivery trucks and the brick wall of the adjacent building. “It’s worth a shot,” he said quietly. “But if she says no, that’s it. It’s done.”

“Got it, boss,” Monica said. “I’m gonna go call Rob.”

******************************************************************************

Cassidy heaved a bag of chicken feed onto the stack on the end cap display. It was selling well, and she’d had to replenish the stack once already today. She didn’t mind working at the feed store. It smelled amazing and she knew that every hour she worked earned her a bale of hay or a bag of pellets. Gary gave her a 15% employee discount, and often threw in samples the feed company salesmen left on their rounds. Jenny was back from her maternity leave, so Cassidy wasn’t getting as many hours, but Jenny was glad to have backup in case she needed to stay home with the baby, and it was still well worth her while to keep the job. Not to mention it was a thousand times more interesting than her mind numbing job bagging at the Cash-n-Carry.

The bell tinkled above the door and she glanced up to see who was coming into the store. “Damn it,” she muttered as she saw it was Chucho. Gary was at the bank and she was alone so there was no way she could avoid him.

“Hey, Mr. Pena,” she said, “what can I do for you?”

“Well, first, you can call me Chucho,” he said, leaning casually against the counter. “We’re still neighbors after all. And second, I have a favor to ask you. Which might turn into a job for you, so hear me out.”

Cassidy stood behind the counter, arms crossed over her chest. “Go ahead,” she said warily.

“A friend of mine bought a horse. Supposed to be some really well bred stock horse from a fancy ranch in Oklahoma. Turns out he’s well bred all right, but he’s been running the range for three years and the son of a bitch is wild as a pronghorn. They had to lasso him and shoot him full of tranquilizers to get him on the trailer and my friend isn’t having any luck taming him down. They gelded him but that just knocked him out for half a day and he’s still breathing fire. Santos is ready to cut his losses and get rid of the crazy cabron but I told him I’d talk to you about trying your hand at him. If you can’t train him, he’ll end up at the slaughterhouse or getting shot for hurting someone.”

“And what’s in it for me?” Cassidy asked.

“Santos will pay training fees if you’re willing to take him on,” Chucho said. “I told him you have a good setup. There’s a transport leaving his town this week, and he can get the horse on it. They’ll drop him off at my place, since I have a cattle chute next to the main road. It’s one of those big horse vans and they can’t handle the narrower roads. I figure we can either wrestle him into my trailer to get him to your place, or pony him over like you did with Buster after he got loose. Anyway, if you’re willing to take a look at him, they’ll drop him off sometime Saturday morning. I’ll call you when he gets there and you can come over and see what you think. Santos said if you can’t take him on, I should put him in the next auction.”

Cassidy closed her eyes for a moment. The last thing she needed right now was another horse, especially a crazy one, but if this Santos was willing to pay training fees, and it would save a horse from slaughter, how could she say no? “Okay,” she said. “But just to look at the horse, Chucho. That’s all.”

Chucho held up his hands. “That’s all I’m asking for, Cassidy,” he said. “I’m just trying to help out a friend. And a horse. And a neighbor.” He held out his hand and she shook it. “Good, I’ll call you when the monster arrives.” He tipped his hat to her and walked out of the shop, the bell tinkling in his wake.

************************************************************************

Cassidy pulled her truck up under a tree in front of Chucho’s house. There was already an assortment of vehicles in the driveway, including the truck Javi had driven and a faded green minivan she’d never seen before.

Luis waved at her from where he was tinkering with the engine on Chucho’s ancient Gator. “El jefe’s in the house,” he called out. “Said to tell you to go on in and get a cup of coffee. He’s got a few phone calls to make, then he’ll take you to see el diablo.” He laughed and shook his head.

Cassidy went up the steps to the front door. She knew Chucho would tell her to come in the kitchen door, but it felt more proper to enter through the front of the house like a guest. “Hello?” she called out as she stepped inside the house. “Chucho?”

“In the kitchen,” he called out. “Come on in and help yourself to coffee. I’ve got one more call to make.”

She walked through the living room and into the kitchen. She froze as soon as she reached the doorway. “What the hell?” she stammered. Javi was sitting at the table next to Chucho.

“Now don’t get mad, Cassidy,” Chucho said. “I’m sorry I lied to you but I needed to get you over here. Javi needs to talk to you and you won’t answer the phone, so we had to do this.”

Javi was fiddling with his coffee cup, clearly nervous. “Sit down,” he said quietly.

“I’ll stand,” she replied, although she did step further into the kitchen and take the cup that Chucho held out. She didn’t want coffee but it helped to have something to do with her hands.

“Look, Cassidy,” Javi began but her attention was diverted when someone else walked into the room. She was tall, with long hair and a curvaceous figure, one that Cassidy recognized. And she was even curvier now, clearly several months pregnant.

Cassidy dropped the cup of coffee, not even pausing as it shattered against the tile floor. She ran blindly for the back door, hardly able to breathe, her legs rubbery and weak. “Cassidy!” Chucho and Javi both called but she forged ahead. She reached the back porch before her legs gave out and she collapsed into a ball on the floorboards, sobbing and whimpering. No wonder Javi wanted to talk to her. He wanted to rub it in her face. He’d not only found another woman, he was having a baby with her. They were probably getting married.

Her throat constricted until she began to panic at her inability to swallow. She felt a hand on her back, rubbing gentle circles, and once she’d calmed down marginally, she glanced over to see the woman kneeling beside her. “It’s okay, Cassidy,” she said calmly. “You’re having a panic attack. You’re going to be okay.”

“Get away from me,” she hissed. “Don’t you dare touch me!” She crumpled even further onto the floor. The last thing she wanted was Javi’s new girlfriend consoling her.

“Hey.” She heard Javi kneel down on her other side. “Don’t talk to her like that.” He laid a hesitant hand on her back, and she shook him off.

“You don’t touch me either,” she said. “And I’ll talk to that bitch anyway I want to.”

“I know you’re upset, Cass,” Javi said evenly, “but that doesn’t give you the right to talk to Monica that way. She’s just trying to help.”

“Cassidy, why are you so mad at me?” Monica asked carefully. “You don’t even know me.”

“I know enough,” Cassidy managed to spit out.

“Now, just because I’m Javier’s assistant doesn’t mean I’ll automatically take his side,” Monica went on. “Why don’t you sit up and when you’ve calmed down a bit we can start over again.”

“What the hell?” Another man had joined them on the porch. “I leave for five minutes and you knock Javi’s girl on the ground? Your methods are getting weirder and weirder, Monica.”

“Shut up, Rob,” Monica said. “Cassidy, this asshole is my husband Roberto. Just ignore him.”

“Wait. What? Your husband?” Cassidy was incredibly confused. “Oh, my god, this is worse than I thought.”

Monica helped her sit up. “I don’t understand,” she said. Javi, Chucho and Rob were all kneeling around her, looking just as confused as she was.

“You and Javi … and your husband … whose baby is it?” Cassidy managed to stammer.

“Um, Rob’s of course,” Monica said. “Wait, did you think me and Javi ..?” She started to laugh, then Rob joined in.

“I saw you,” Cassidy insisted. “I saw you in Javi’s apartment. He was smoking on the balcony. You gave him a drink and rubbed his back and took him inside.”

Javi’s brow was furrowed. “What are you talking about?”

Rob’s eyes went wide. “Wait, wait, I think I know what happened. Was this right before you left Javi the message breaking up with him?” Cassidy nodded. Rob looked smug. “The night after Andre died. Monica and I took dinner over to Javi’s place so we could make sure he was all right. And he went out on the balcony to smoke and I told Monica to take him a glass of whiskey and she did. And you were there?”

Cassidy could hardly think straight but she nodded. “I was in my truck,” she said flatly. “I’d driven up to talk to Javi and I saw him and I saw her and … I left.” She started crying and folded up, her face pressed against her knees.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Javi said as he slid his arm around her shoulders. “If you’d just talked to me.”

She shook her head. “I didn’t want to,” she said between sobs. “I thought you were cheating on me. You hadn’t been down for weeks, I was already upset because of …” She stopped herself before she blurted out something she didn’t want the others to hear. “I was upset.”

Javi pulled her against him and let her cry. She heard Chucho, Monica, and Rob go back inside. Javi didn’t say anything, he just held her. Once she was out of tears, he gently kissed her forehead. “Do you think you can come inside and hear what we have to say now?”

“We?” she stammered.

“Me and Monica and Rob,” he said softly. “We came down here with a business proposal for you. Well, for you and me. I mean, for you and my department.” He shook his head. “Just come inside and listen.” He helped her to her feet and wiped the lingering tears from her face with his thumbs. “Just hear us out and we’ll go from there.”

“Okay,” she said. “I’ll listen.”

******************************************************************************

They talked for several hours. Javi let Monica and Rob do most of the talking, content just to sit next to Cassidy. She listened attentively and asked a million questions, especially as Rob explained the requirements for forming a nonprofit. “You’ll need a mission statement, which isn’t that hard,” Rob said. “And a board of directors, but that shouldn’t be a problem. I’ll be happy to act as your financial officer, at least to start, and I’m sure we can get one of the High Society Cowgirls on board, which will give you some clout with the city. Maybe even the mayor’s niece but at least one of her friends. They’re all bored housewives looking for good deeds to do while they play with their horses.”

At one point, Chucho slid a plate of turkey sandwiches and a pitcher of sweet tea onto the table. Javi poured a glass for Cassidy and she thanked him shyly, letting her fingers brush against his as she took it from him.

Finally, Monica sat back. “So, do you want to go for it? I know it’s a huge undertaking, and we’re under a bit of a time constraint so we don’t lose funding, but it’s definitely doable.”

Cassidy looked down at the table, chewing lightly on her lower lip. After a long moment, she nodded. “Yeah, let’s do it,” she said.

Rob pumped his fist in the air, which prompted Monica to shake her head and call him a dork. Rob just shrugged. “And now,” he said, pushing back from the table, “I think it’s time for these two,” -- he pointed at Javi and Cassidy -- “to have a nice long talk and patch things up. Because I for one am sick and tired of Javi moping around all the time.” He made a shooing motion with his hands. “Go on, get out of here, go find somewhere to canoodle.”

“Canoodle, really?” Monica said. “Who are you, my grandpa?”

Javi stood up and pulled Cassidy’s chair out for her. As she got up, he couldn’t help letting his hand rest against her back for a second as he steered her toward the door. He let her walk through first and simply followed. She led him away from the house, toward her truck, which was parked in the shade.

“You probably think I’m an idiot,” she said as she unlatched the tailgate and laid it down. She hopped up to sit in the truck bed, her feet dangling over the end of the tailgate. Javi joined her.

“Not at all,” he said. “But I am curious about what triggered the whole thing. You said you were upset about something, and that made you drive to San Antonio to talk to me.” He left it at that, hoping she’d share with him but willing to let it go if she wasn’t ready.

She reached over and took his hand, sliding her fingers between his. It felt right, and Javi relaxed just a bit. She told him about the pregnancy test, her decision, and how she’d been fantasizing about things before she pulled into the parking lot and saw him and Monica on the balcony.

“I probably should have charged up there and confronted you,” she admitted. “But I was just so shattered. I … I was afraid that instead of telling you off and dumping your sorry ass, I’d end up forgiving you.” She played with his fingers. “I overreacted.”

“Not really,” Javi said, leaning back on one elbow while she kept his other hand in her lap. “I’m sure it looked really bad. And I don’t have a stellar record of fidelity.” He huffed. “I probably would have thought the same thing if I was you.”

Cassidy dropped his hand and leaned back next to him, propped up on both elbows. She idly kicked her feet in the air. “I’m sorry I doubted you,” she said softly.

“I’m sorry I didn’t make more of an effort,” Javi said.

She shook her head. “No, you made way more of an effort than I did. I didn’t want to give up anything. I wanted my independence, and you, at the same time, and that wasn’t fair to you.”

“Were you really going to rent out your place and move in with me?” he asked.

She smiled. “Yeah. I really was.” She reached over and ruffled his hair. “You need a trim.”

He frowned. Monica had said the same thing last week. Then she leaned forward and brushed her lips against his. “I missed you,” she whispered.

“I missed you, too,” he said. He shifted so he was in a more comfortable position and kissed her back, just a bit more deeply. He felt her sigh and relax against him.

“Are we good?” he asked after a long moment. “I mean, I know you want to go ahead with the move to San Antonio, starting up the nonprofit and all that, but you and me … are we okay?”

“We’re okay,” she said. “We’re good.”

The truck bed wasn’t the most comfortable place for a make out session, but they didn’t care. It was cool in the shade and the twittering of the birds overhead was soothing, so the bits of hay that worked their way inside their clothes and the hard steel ridges digging into their backs and sides weren’t much of a deterrent.

During a moment of rest, Javi smoothed her hair back from her face. “Were you really disappointed that you weren’t pregnant?” he murmured.

She closed her eyes and nodded. “Yes,” she said, as color filled her cheeks. “I was.” She opened her eyes. “I thought I’d be relieved but … I wanted a future with you, Javi. I still do.”

“We’ll have it,” he said. “I promise.”

[yuki-tsunodas]

thank u peach @astaom im so sorry i forgot abt this whoopsies

1. do you make your bed? no lol

2. favourite number? don't really have a favourite number but i like even numbers in general, if i was forced to pick a number i'd pick 20, but more often my feelings towards a number are linked to who drives with that number LOL

3. what’s your job? in 2 weeks time i will start being a uni student :') studying something in the performing arts!

4. if you could go back to school, would you? cannot say anything about uni yet but . high school was academic hell im never going back (even though i had a lot of fun)

5. can you parallel park? nope i can't even drive LOL im old enough to get a license but i have actively refused to get one because i think i would be a road hazard

6. do you think aliens are real? i have no opinions but probability says yes so i'll say yes

7. can you drive a manual car? refer to question 5 LMAO

8. guilty pleasure? uhh. genuinely idk. and if i had anything considered a guilty pleasure i dont think i would be sharing it on tumblr lol

9. tattoos? don't have any, but i'm planning to get at least one when i'm older (which is a horrifying prospect because i am deathly afraid of needles)

10. favourite colour? don't have a specific one because i feel like each colour has its own vibes, but if forced to pick probably orange green and blue (i have specific shades of orange and green in mind). im ignoring black white and brown because my art/graphic design brain doesn't switch off and those are neutrals to me

11. favourite type of music? rock (very broadly, i like fall out boy and day6 the most), kpop (i have a love hate relationship with it), whatever pop music sounds good to me (i currently really enjoy chappell roan), musical theatre

12. do you like puzzles? i like solving problems in general -- that's how i treat design and gifmaking. also i play stewardle and driverle (f1 wordle) regularly

14. favourite childhood sport? loved swimming and badminton as a kid...probably still count as a kid now so my current favourite sport to play is floorball

15. do you talk to yourself? a concerning amount. i talk so much that at least 3-4 friends have told me to start a podcast

16. tea or coffee? neither. it seems like caffeine is my enemy because anything with caffeine in it tastes bad to me LOL

17. first thing you wanted to be when growing up? pretty sure i wanted to be either a ballet dancer or an artist as a kid

18. what movies do you adore? i'm so not a movies person...but movies ive watched more than once (an achievement) are the cars series (my favourite is cars 2), og avengers (my favourite mcu movie), age of ultron and civil war. also shoutout to spirited away, ponyo and howl's moving castle for having a special place in my heart. most recent movie i've watched is how to make millions before grandma dies and it was amazing i sobbed watching it. it's a thai movie but blew up so i went to check it out and it is incredible.

not gonna tag anyone cos i got to this so late lol

[blackrevell]

3, 20, 36 and 59 for the 60 OC questions. I am ready to get text-walled (and will come back with more questions after that :aon-smirk:emoji)

We'll see how brave you'll be after this wall, my comrade ;)

3. What emotion is the hardest for them to deal with?

Boredom. As only the external stimulation runs shallow, her thinking turns inwards. If she can't pick apart a business deal/car/someone's struggle/you name it, she starts to pick herself apart. Alt is a person of objective analysis and prefers to weigh in on everything, knowing ins and outs, keeping track of negatives and positives. Yet with her twisted sense of self-worth, giving herself credit for good things is a struggle. A hungry dark void is a permanent, most loyal companion of her psyche, but as the saying goes — don't stare into it too long, or it will stare back. She needs something (or someone) to keep her internal eye away.

20. When they’re sad or upset, do they need company or some time alone?

Alt would say she needs a moment alone, but it couldn't be further from truth for the reason described in #3: staying alone with her thoughts for too long leads to her mentally devouring herself. A quiet evening with a friend or loved one by her side is good. When she doesn't have anyone for company, she goes for long drives outside the city (see, searching for external stimulus to distract her again). But if she's got the drive and the company to share it with? Perfect, she will patch herself up in no time, find solutions to your troubles, solve global problems and conquer the world.

36. Do they own items that have sentimental value?

Lots of those! For someone who strives to be a mind-over-heart person she is quite sentimental. A little box of printed photographs that she got throughout the years, starting from her times in New York; rarely looks through them though (because someone is afraid of getting into feelings too much). The key from Quadra "Nightwing", which is the only thing she got left from her treasured car. A pile of her little journals where she used to sketch people and machines (the ones she thought she'd never have the chance to actually build one day) during the quiet hours of her work at a bar. One of those journals has a lock of Kurt's hair hidden among its pages that he doesn't know she picked up when he got the bravery to shave it off. Her obsession with sunglasses is sentiment-driven too: when she had to flee New York after the Family Accident™, she stole a pair of sunglasses from a corner store stand, trying to hide herself from unwanted gazes. It was senseless in a way that it wouldn't save her from being recognized by whoever would look for her — technology is way too smart for it even nowadays — but even the most trivial thing to hide behind made her feel safer when she was essentially on the run from the entire world. Fear of being detected has been long gone, but the sunglasses remained.

59. What would they want to be remembered for?

She wouldn't want to be remembered, and neither does she believe in the concept of "being remembered". Within her philosophy, one ends with their passing, and everything left behind is a complex, ever-shifting mosaic of people's interpretations not worth any concern, since there's no control over it anyways. "There was a time when I didn't exist, and there will be a time like this again. I am a consequence of one accident, error in the code. And whenever my time comes, I will be back from 1 to 0. I lived, I made choices. But the code will run forth without me. The simplicity of life. Don't complicate it."

[fromthedragonsdesk]

On Living in Between

It's 4 AM and I've woken up. It's too early to do anything, because everyone else is asleep. It's getting close to having to get ready for the day, but not soon enough to warrant getting fully dressed and risk getting messy. What do I do. I blink a few times and find myself drifting back to sleep.

5:20 rolls around and I'm jolted away as I hear babbling coming from the crib. I guess someone else decided it was time to wake up. May as well get up now; didn't want to take a shower last night so I better do it now. Be quiet a little longer, kiddo, and I can feed you. The water starts running and the crying starts ramping. I check the clock; 5:30. I need to get in and out of the bathroom quickly before she gets louder and shriller.

5:40. My ears burn from hearing shrieking throughout the entire shower, reminding me that someone else is getting hungrier and doesn't know how to handle it. My mind itches, but I can't scratch it because that sound just keeps going. Need to get dressed to get a bottle ready. Need to find clothing I can wear. My ears start ringing and my focus starts shattering. Can't find a matching sock. Can't find a pair of underwear. 5:45. Time's passing. My tension is rising. Can't keep searching for the right clothes. Settle for the undershirt and bathrobe.

5:47. Bottle is filled and put into the warmer. 5:55 seconds, the display reads. Cries punctuate the back of my mind. There's nothing I can do here but wait. Going back to the source would only make stress levels rise. Those cookies on the counter look tasty. What can I eat to placate the rising stress levels and dull the background pain.

Nothing. Stop myself from reaching out for the cookies. Waver for a moment. Grab the jar of peanuts. Grab something, anything to serve as a distraction. Remember that you're out of shape. Remember that you're eating too much. Remember that you're stress eating and you should not be doing this. Look at the clock. 5:52 AM. Warm enough. Get the bottle. Back into the breach.

Console the source of the cries. Hunger hurts. I understand this. All is quiet again. I close my eyes. I hear sounds of shuffling feet and high pitched questions being asked. I'm not where I usually am and that's confusing, evidently. 6:01. Everyone else is awake. I announce myself that I'm fine and everything's fine. I hear others start their day. I close my eyes. 6:07. My turn. I deposit one child with the other, who is already working on the breakfast that has been set before them. Chattering fills the room, but I can't recall what's there. I have bottles to fill to ready for the rest of the day before I have to get on the road.

Like reflex, grab the bottles and line them up. 1. 2. 3. 4. 4 ounces. 4 ounces. 3 ounces? Need to thaw more. 4 ounces and change, top off the low one. Done. Seal them, label them, order them, pack them. It's second nature; I've done this plenty of times before. 6:25. I need to get moving. Throw clothes on, they don't matter. Throw last night's dinner into my bag, it doesn't really matter. Pour coffee into a travel mug, splash of milk. It matters. Give my hugs, my goodbyes, and my well wishes and walk out the door.

It's humid, but the light from the rising sun has already filled the sky. Get in the car, get the music going, get the directions pulled up. 1 hour; it's the best I can hope for in a trip. The drive happens. 10 mph over the speed limit in the slow lane and I'm still not driving fast enough for people. I sip coffee to keep my focus. The same drive for the same years, it all blends into the background noise of life.

7:30. The office. Same monday, same faces. The motions are gone through, the check-ins are made. I sit at my desk, trying to solve last week's problems before this week gives me new ones. I relish the peace and quiet for a moment. 8:00. Another cup of coffee. I'm still not awake, or, at the very least, don't want to be awake. Meetings are on the horizon.

Meetings zip by me, again bleeding into the patchwork background noise of work. Things in progress are still in progress, and things that are broken are still broken because we can't fix them for the same reasons we couldn't fix them before. It's 10:15 and my experiments have failed. I'm hungry. It's 10:45. It's close enough to eat lunch.

10:50. Lunch is in the microwave, some people are still trickling in eating late breakfasts or getting mid morning coffee. 10:54. Lunch is out of the microwave and people are gone, again. But that's okay. I usually eat at my desk anyway, because things usually go wrong when I'm not easily findable.

Lunch is done. It's 11:05. It's been 4 hours already and I feel useless. I know what I have to do, there's plenty of things to do if I'm roadblocked on one topic. But why. It feels like for every problem I solve I just get handed two new ones with even less support, or with the same answers that prevent us from effectively resolving them. I push forward and try to make progress on some lower-priority tasks. It's 12:45 PM. I'm editing documents.

It's 1:30. I'm tracing incidents in crash logs.

It's 2:10. Code fails to compile again. Do I need to start from scratch again with a different approach?

It's 2:45. I can't do this anymore. I'm tired.

It's 3:00. Can I go home yet? It's a long drive home.

It's 3:15. It's almost time.

It's 3:25. It's close enough.

It's 3:30. I'm in the car again. The music and directions are pulled up again. An hour to drive, not bad. About the best I could hope for given the traffic.

It's 4:00. There's a lot of cars here... why?

It's 4:05. The direction updates say to stay the course. It will be 15 minutes in traffic to get through the bottleneck.

It's 4:10. The direction updates say to stay the course. It will be 14 minutes in traffic to breach the bottleneck.

It's 4:18. The direction updates say to stay the course. It will be 14 minutes in traffic to breach the bottleneck. I start to thrash impotently. There's no way on or off this stretch of highway at this point.

It's 4:20. I call the missus in an attempt to vent and at least get dinner plans sorted out. She empathizes with my frustrations, but dinner is a harder story. Dinner plan 1, shot down. Suggested meal option 2 is shot down upon suggestion. I attempt a hail mary with suggestion meal option 3, and it lands. We say our goodbyes and I check the map again. It's 4:25, and it will be 10 minutes in traffic to get past the bottleneck.

5:05 I walk in the door. The cat runs screaming to the front of the house and immediately attaches himself to my legs, the same as every other work day. I start laundry and scoop a litterbox and feed a needy feline. The missus surprises me by preparing dinner in my stead. It's 5:15 and I sit to write a post, reflecting on how the day just evaporates while I wait for the next responsibility to manage.

It's 5:48. Time to get the kids. It will be 6:20, time for us to eat dinner. It will be 7:00, time for bedtime for #2 and playtime for #1. It will be 7:30, time to start bedtime routines for #1. It will be 8:00, teeth and bathroom will be done. Time for pajamas and a hand-off. It will be 8:30, and tuck-ins will happen. It will be 8:45 and I will sit back down at this computer, the thing I've waited all day to do. It will be 9:00 and I will feel like there is a spark of life again. It will be 10:30, and maybe #2 is hungry. It will be 11:30 and I will drag myself to bed. It will be 11:45 when I look at my phone idly. It will be 11:55 when I set it down and roll over.

It will be 5:30 and I will wake up again.

[rozinaaa]

The Perfect Computer Doesn't Exi-

I've discovered the Mythic Computer Company, which is a one-man company, in which Keegan McNamara (the man behind the machine) creates artisinal computers by hand that often take months to produce.

Additionally, he even goes in depth by explaining why he decided to do this, as well as his main reason being for the fact that he worked in tech straight after graduating (this is similar to my post-grad life, so I'm beginning to see the connection between the tech workers (usually in their 20s) feeling somewhat disillusioned with their role, and wanting to do something meaningful, which doesn't involve a whole lot of tech, and if it's used at all, it's used mindfully and only when it's genuinely needed), and that functional things of the past were crafted by actual craftspeople, instead of everything being mass produced in the cheapest possible way.

This is a refreshing take on modern technology, which seems to be nothing but rectangles in which you can do literally anything on them (to the point where it becomes dangerous), not to mention that the artisinal mythic computer looks very aesthetically pleasing.

I also like the inherently tactile nature of this, since you turn the computer on by using a key and flicking the switch on (which makes the act of turning it on and off an actual experience, similar to driving a car or entering your house), which somewhat encourages you to be mindful of what you'd actually need to do on the computer, and if it's actually worth doing.

Additionally, the software is customisable and uses only what you need, so you can still do whatever you need, but you can only do just that, and nothing more, which will encourage me to go deep with my work and not get distracted by literally everything ever.

If I had this, I would simply have a terminal/text user interface (I'm somewhat comfortable with using a terminal and I know a few basic commands), with a minimal text editor (I'm thinking probably Vim, since it's highly customisable), so that I would be able to write and do some light web development (since I've realised that it's all I need), as well as being able to actually learn to code by doing it all the time via the terminal.

I know that I've got a few similar software solutions that I can do, with just a few extra steps (such as installing a minimal but highly customisable Linux distribution, or exclusively using the Text User Interface on my Raspberry Pi), but those options are easily malleable and I can quickly replace it with another solution, so it kind of defeats the whole purpose of having a minimal setup in the first place, not to mention that I would still be using a conventional computer, instead of an artisinal handcrafted one, which would also determine the overall experience of computing, since in an ideal world, I would like to be able to use just what I need, with nothing more, and nothing less, with the tools that I use to be built to last and to also look aesthetically pleasing.

Additionally, this also shifts the idea of a computer being a disposable and instantly replaceable tool (in which new ones come out all the time) that becomes increasingly difficult to repair (because companies just want you to buy new stuff the second something falters, instead of encouraging you to solve problems), to one which can essentially become a family heirloom (just like how people used to hand down various objects and family-owned businesses in the past, so that it would stay within the family for multiple generations), where the computer runs open source and minimal, bloat-free software by default, and essentially becomes immune to planned obsolescence.

This reminds me of the prettier version of those beige boxes of computers from the past, where you could only really do what you genuinely needed to do, instead of just being bombarded with everything all the time, and wonder why it's impossible to get away from using it.

[iwannarunawayandbeapirate]

i hate having to depend on unreliable public transport with no alternatives.

this morning, my bus was late. when i arrived at the train station, the train was already leaving. i had to wait twenty minutes for the next train, and it stopped for like 10-15 minutes halfway through because of an emergency on the tracks. i was late for school.

when you try to explain this kind of situation to teachers, they will tell you to just "take an earlier bus" so that this kind of thing doesn't happen. but that's not really an option for me. there's only one bus every 40 minutes, so i'd have to get up at 5:30 every morning just because there's a chance i might be late otherwise. if everything had worked correctly today, i would have arrived at school 20 minutes early. i don't have the option of going by bike because it's too far. my parents don't have time in the morning to drive me to the train station.

"take an earlier bus". let's consider that possibility. i come home at 5:00-5:30pm 2-3 times a week, and even later on wednesdays. i need to eat dinner, do my homework, and study. that's about 2 hours maybe. maybe even 2 1/2. so we're at roughly 7pm now. in order to get 8 hours of sleep, i need to be asleep by 9:30, meaning i have to go to bed at roughly 9pm because it takes a while for me to fall asleep.

that's two hours of free time. only two hours for hobbies, reading, doing stuff with my family, showering, tidying my room, whatever... and the only way for me to increase that time is by sleeping less or not doing my homework. it's not a great situation currently, either, but if i had to get up at 5:30 every morning just to get the earlier bus, my life would be basically hell.

is this the teachers' fault? no. i understand that they just want to get on with their lessons, and constantly having late students interrupting class can be very annoying. it's not the bus driver's fault, either. he didn't choose not to be on time. it's just that public transport needs to be widely available, especially in rural areas, so that it can be a viable alternative to cars.

every second train in germany is late. that's not okay! there are people, like me, who are relying on these services, and these problems are not being solved. in fact, they've gotten worse over the past few decades. on the one hand, it's great that more people are using public transportation instead of going everywhere by car. on the other hand, though, the DB (Deutsche Bahn) and other transport services have not done a good enough job at accommodating this increase in passengers.

i don't even know what i'm trying to say here. i'm just frustrated at the way all of this works. i would not have to be late if the public transport system worked like it's supposed to. thanks for reading i guess.

[grad604ethangeers]

20 Objects that are meaningful to you:

Guitar

My guitar is important to me because it is my creative outlet that has no restrictions or rules. I find music to be one of the best ways to explore my creativty in a free, open way without feeling pressure or stress. I started playing guitar when I was 13 and it has always played an important part in my life.

Amplifier

My amplifier is aesthetically one of my favourite componants to my musical setup. The vintage look and feel is beautiful to me and actually helps to drive my creativity and musical themes when I’m playing.

Loop Pedal

The loop pedal I own is probably one of the more useful pieces of technology that I own. This allows me to practice, write and perform music by myself with layers and rythem where I would otherwise need a band or collaboration with other musicians.

Painting of angel pissing

This painting was given to me on my 21st birthday by a popular NZ artist who was displaying work in my parents art gallery. It is one of my favourite pieces of art because of the loose style, use of colours and the sense of humour which really speaks to my own sense of humour.

‘Bernard’ my indoor plant

A fairly new addition to my room, Bernard has been an important part in my room feeling happier and healthier. My brother first spoke to me about how having a plant in his room helped his mental health and helped his room to feel like a better, more positive place to be. After he told me this, I adopted Bernard from a garden store and ever since I have found more love for my bedroom.

My Hei-tiki

My Hei-tiki (Maori pendant) was given to me by my auntie when I was 18 and was blessed by a Maori sculpture in my parents Art Gallery. It represents the meeting of the sea and the land, with one side being made of whale bone and the other side being made of wood.

The metal sculpture of guy playing guitar

This is one of the older items on my tallboy in my room which was given to me on my 10th birthday by my parents. It was one of the original inspirations for my to learn guitar and become a rockstar.

Watch from my grandfather

This watch is from my grandfather and was engraved with my name by him before he passed away. It has been a part of my life for over 20years and is a reminder to stay strong and connected to my family whenever I look at it.

Tim Burton poetry book

My Tim Burton poetry book really inspires my sense of humour and I read at least one poem from it a day to help keep humour on the forefront of how I view the world.

Orange Chair

Another element I got from my grandfather, this was the chair he sat in every day whilst working at his desk at home as a jeweller. I sit in it at home when I’m working on design and creativity and it helps me feel inspired and connected to my grandfather.

Car keys

My car keys represent my freedom. Having a car is one of the biggest changes I experienced in life that pushed me from feeling like a teenager to feeling like an adult. My keys help my feel free and autonomous.

Sampa the Great Vinyl

The first vinyl I ever bought, this was my introduction to Hip-Hop music and a massive diversion from the music I listened to when I was younger and the journey I went on when I turned 21 into more pop-style music.

My Apple Pencil

My Apple Pencil has been an important element in fuelling my creative outlet of art and design, allowing more ease and freedom with being creative and drawing. I use my Apple Pencil every day on my IPAD and without it, I feel almost as though I am missing a limb.

Tetris Light

This modular tetris neon light is something that I use to exercise my creativity and problem solving ability. Each element can be moved and connected in different ways to create different shapes. This helps me do a mental workout and explore different ways of connecting the same shapes to create different shapes and balance.

Football

Physical exercise is important to me and is also something I fight with and struggle to get inspired about. Football is one way I can channel my love for sport and exercise into a more accessible way to get out of the house and be active.

[nataliesnews]

I was lucky enough to get a lift down with a South African woman, Elene Segal. Many drivers are scared to drive down the desert road though I used to go down there when I had a car. She was great and we found two Palestinians who were stuck and the car had to be pushed so she got in as the driver and they managed to get the car off the path and out of our way.

A delegation of activity and Tag-Meir activists held a solidarity meeting in the afternoon at the Bedouin Jahlin tribe of Khan al-Ahmar. Two days ago, the sherif of the nearby moshav  armed with a rifle threatened an 11-year-old boy, Aiz, from Khan al-Ahmar. The child's mother who is pregnant had fallen asleep and the flock of sheep was moving away.  He chased after them and was stopped by this animal from the moshav. As is happening all over israel, the sherifs of the moshaviem and settlements  are more and more making their own rules of where Palestinians can take their herds. He claimed that the boy had gone over the imaginery line. 

We were ashamed. . The video of a Jew armed with a rifle, standing over a helpless 11-year-old boy - is a disgrace to all of us.  I wish I knew how to send the video over the email because one can hear the child crying and see how threatening the fascist is standing over him. Much as Jewish children must have feared the Nazi guards.

The security man forcibly removed Aiz's shoes to prevent him from escaping and also threatened him in Arabic while brandishing an M-16 rifle. He also threatened to shoot him if he moved. His sister and mother came to calm him and get him released but he would not let them near the boy. He was crying and terrified. For those of you on my whatsup I have sent the  linkg.

The local residents told us about the feeling of discrimination and racism in which they live. "Hundreds of meters from us, Jewish children study in a school built with shaded sports fields, our children study in dilapidated buildings with demolition orders without electricity."

The security man called the police. Needless to say they take their orders from him. A witness, a resident of Kfar Adumim active in tyring to help�� the  Bedouin , came there in an attempt to solve the problem. Later during our visit he came to apologise to the sisters that he had not been able to do so . To no avail. The police arrested and handcuffed the young women, Nasreen, a 20-year-old shepherd, an education student at Jericho University. Her sister Iman, also an education student, insisted on not leaving her alone and was also arrested. They were held for hours and only released after a lawyer had got them bail for 10000 shekel. Where they got the money from heaven alone knows. These are such poor people.

The father is still recovering from an operation (heart) and could do nothing. 

We have tried to find out why the girls were arrested but there is not answer.

i

We brought the boy  a new football and wished him well. Unfortunately he is evidently traumatised. He will not play football with his friends, go out in the dark or leave his family. 

We spoke to the girls. One can only imagine how this must have been for them. Living in a closed very  conservative society where they are protected and pretty much secluded to be dragged by policemen who are not known for their delicate ways......seperated from their fathers and brothers and dragged into a police station. Imagine if it had been religious girls what a fuss would be made. I of course did not photograph them which is a pity as they are so beautiful and modest in their very traditional clothing.

The people of the tribe told about the reduction of the grazing areas for their flock at the hands of the army, the police and the civil administration.

Reminder: Aiz's "big sin" was helping a female relative lead a herd of goats that, according to the security guard, crossed an imaginary border...The local residents told us about the feeling of discrimination and racism in which they live. "Hundreds of meters from us, Jewish children study in a school built with shaded sports fields, our children study in dilapidated buildings with demolition orders without electricity."

Our delegation included activists who came from all over the country: Jerusalem, Kibbutz Tzalim, Rehovot, Tzuba and the nearby village of Kfar Adumim.

The report in hebrew was written by my friend, Yael Moav, who is a great help to the tribe and we have often gone there to eat with a yong woman who makes a livelihood from it. I must admit that I am always scared as it is very steep and two people have to  help me up. 

על הבוקר סרטוני ודאו מנסרין, רועת צאן צעירה מחאן אל אחמר. כבר שנים שרועות הצאן, הנערות, נשים והילדים, מחאן אל אחמר, סובלות מהתנכלות של איש הביטחון מכפר אדומים. כאשר הן יכולות, לבקשנו הן מצלמות את ההתנכלויות. היום היה אירוע חמור במיוחד. איש הביטחון תפס ילד צעיר בשטחי המרעה ועיכב אותו. נשים והנערות הנסערות עשו הכל כדי שיניח לילד, הממרר בבכי ואחוז בהלה. שפה משותפת אין בין בין. ברוחות שהת��הטו, התפתחה מהומה, חלקה אלימה ואיש הבטחון זימן משטרה. עד תושב כפר אדומים פעיל בידי הגהאלין הגיע לשם בניסיון לפתור את הבעיה. ללא הועיל. השוטרים עזקו את נסרין, רועת צאן בת 20, סטודנטית לחינוך באוניברסיטת יריחו. אחותה אימאן גם היא סטודנטית לחינוך התעקשה לא להשאירה לבד ונעצרה היא גם. נוכחותו של הפעיל שלנו שבא להגן על "הרשות המסוכנות" לא עזרה. נכון לעכשיו שתי נשים צעירות, האמיצות כל כך, במעצר. לא ידעתי לנו מתי ישתחררו. האמא נמצאת בחרדה גדולה, האבא, אבו חמיס, ראש הקהילה שרק השתחרר מניתוח מעקפים אחרי התקף לב קשה, לא במצב לא קל. חשוב לציין חשיבות התקיים רחוקה מגדר הביטחון של כפר אדומים. בברור שעשינו יתכן שהסיבה למעצר היא חוסר נכונות להזדהות, איך יזדהו כשהן דוברות רק ערבית והשוטרים רק עברית? המצב הזה חייב להסתיים, יש לאפשר לרועות הצאן הבדואיות לצאת לרעה בביטחון. למי נפנה? אולי לשר לביטחון פנים?? אז במקום לרגע היום, לנוח מהטיסה, לעכל חוויות ולעשות כבידה וסדר אני רוצה להיות שם החברות שלי. עוד על שיתוף הפוסט . Sent from my iPhone

[qocsuing]

Why did one of my car’s power window switches stop working?

Why did one of my car’s power window switches stop working?

Q. The power window switch on the passenger side of my 2014 Toyota Avalon isn’t working, but the switch on the driver’s side with all four is working fine. Is this a sensor or something else? Get more news about power window switch supplier,you can vist our website!

A. The switch communicates through a computer network to the car’s main computer. The issue could simply be a faulty switch, but it could also be a communications problem to the computer. This can be checked with a professional level bi-directional scan tool that can read the window commands and also command the window to move.

Q. Can you tell me how much it costs to replace both front wheel bearings on a 2009 Nissan Murano SL with all-wheel drive? The prices seem to vary, and I want to make sure I’m not getting taken advantage of. A. The wheel bearings are actually part of the front hub assembly. The bearing and hub have a retail cost of approximately $230 each. The labor to replace the hubs, depending on shop labor fees, is about $300 (about two hours at $150 per hour). You could save a little money with an aftermarket part, but be aware part quality can vary greatly. Once the repair is performed the vehicle should have a wheel alignment to prevent tire wear.

Q. My daughter has a 2004 Hyundai Elantra. About two months ago, the alternator was failing in heavy rain. This triggered the battery icon and the check-engine light to come on. I’ve replaced the alternator, but the check-engine light still appears. The diagnostic code is PO456, indicating a very small emission leak. I would like to know if alternator issues can create and store a false code in a car computer.

A. The most common reasons that a 2004 Hyundai Elantra has code PO456 are most of the items you have changed. The gas cap is most common, followed by the EVAP canister, vent solenoid, then the purge solenoid, then a leaking fuel filler neck, leaking evaporative emissions lines, and in a very few instances the fuel pump was the issue. At this point, the best thing to do is find a shop that can “smoke test” the evaporative emissions system to look for a leak. At nearly 20 years old it is entirely possible the fuel filler could be the source of the leak. Q. Why does AAA and other places charge to keep your old battery when they put in a new one?

A. All battery retailers have a battery “core” charge. In reality, the core charge is a recycling fee, in some cases legally required for the sale of car batteries. These recycling fees and deposit refund programs help encourage people to properly dispose of old car batteries by returning them to retailers or manufacturers who can dispose of them for you. Several years back we had a battery round up-where we asked AAA members to bring us their old batteries, and we got hundreds that were sitting in basements, garages, backyards, and fields. The core charge is built into the battery cost. The old battery is palletized and shipped back to a recycler, and about 98 percent of old battery material can be processed and reused to make new batteries, limiting the impact on natural resources. Q. I have a 2010 Toyota Camry with 142,000 miles. Two months ago, the car just shut off while underway. The local mechanic put in a new aftermarket fuel pump and it was running very well, for a while. After another month it stopped and wouldn’t start. I towed the car to another mechanic. He said the fuel pump was not good so he changed to a Toyota fuel pump. It ran well for another two weeks, and now after driving for 10 minutes it shuts off again. I am guessing that maybe it is time to change the spark plugs and ignition coil. What would you do? A. Since the fuel pump at least temporarily solved the issue, I would look in this general direction. At this point any diagnosis should start with a thorough visual inspection, followed by a complete scan of the computer system. Since the engine stops running after 10 minutes, the shop should hook up their diagnostic equipment and monitor the data, up until the engine stops running. Could it be an ignition coil? Perhaps, but to avoid guessing, some additional diagnostic time is necessary to find the actual problem.

[racing-is-passion]

Track Limits

Let's talk about track limits, probably one of the most annoying topics in modern racing. Drivers and their cars just exit a corner with a milimeter driving over the white line with more than two tyres and the lap time gets deleted or the driver gets a warning. But why does it happen so often nowadays? The reason for it is found in the way the tracks are build today. Most tracks have large tarmac areas beside the actual track, because of safety reasons (Which is also a topic that has two different views on it), so that drivers can better reduce speed if they are about to crash into a wall and not to roll over if they should go sideways outside of the track. Until abot 20 years ago, tracks weren't build like that and almost always had grass, gravel or walls directly by the track. So the drivers calculate a much higher risk today when they go into such a corner, because they know that they won't crash, damage the car or lose (much) time if they are going into the corner slightly too fast. But that's the reason why those annoying track limits penatlies and warnings are that common today.

How could that problem be resolved? Well, that's not a very easy question, but I thought about it for a while over the last years and here are my ideas:

Just make a band of grass, which is something about 2 meters wide directly besides the track/behind the curbs and the tarmac run-off area behind it. That way the drivers maybe wouldn't take that high risk of driving a little bit too fast into a corner anymore, because they would know that they would lose time if they don't get the corner. Also the tarmac run-off is still there for the safety reasons.

Just change the tracks to the old style with grass and gravel directly by the track/behind the curbs. Track limits would be no issue anymore, but the safety stuff would maybe be a reason, on the other hand there are also people who say that gravel is more safe than tarmac. And I don't really disagree, I think it depends on the situation, there are situations where Tarmac is more safe ad there are situations where gravel is more safe.

Just leave it as it is and live with this annoying issue.

What do you think would be the best solution? You can vote below for it, also I'd be interested in reading your ideas to solve the problems, in case you have more ideas for it.

[squidhominid]

COVID-19, eCommerce, and the Magic Circle: A Story of Being Disabled Under Capitalism

NOTE: This is a largely off-the-cuff essay I wrote after watching the YouTube documentary "The Future is a Dead Mall - Decentraland and the Metaverse", by Folding Ideas. It also draws inspiration from Brandon FM's documentaries about VRChat abuse and misconduct. Topics discussed include crippling disability, limited mobility, predatory systems of capitalism, cryptocurrencies, and sex slavery. It also is somewhat rambly and badly written. You have been warned.

'Metaverse'. A word you've no doubt heard, over, and over, and over, in the last few years. A word that almost feels…immaterial, amorphous. The first time you heard it might have been in 1992, reading the novel Snow Crash, where it was used to describe a sort of physical prototypical internet. It may have been in October 2021, when Facebook, now Meta, announced their rebranding and their metaverse initiatives. Or it may have been in 2022, forever remembered as the year cryptocurrency tried, and failed, to become mainstream.

To me, the metaverse is like self-driving cars. The promise of a solution to my disability, a ticket to being able to exist alongside other people, ripped away by the fact that it exists within capitalism, and can never be the thing I need it to be.

Let me explain.

Ever since I was young, the promise of self-driving cars, forever just around the corner enthralled me. I have severe, life-diminishing vision problems, as well as severe ADHD and attentiveness issues. I cannot, and will never be able to, drive. This has placed a severe limitation on what I can do. What should be a 20 to 30 minute drive to my university campus, either takes 40 minutes and at minimum $20 via a rideshare service, or can take up to an hour and a half on public transportation. And, for the record, that's one way. The promise of a car that I can own, that operates itself, and gets me where I need to go, would be truly life-changing.

Of course, the same issue would be solved by a comprehensive and pervasive train and subway system, but this is America, not Japan, and I'm not delusional. The day any serious investment in public transit happens in this country is the day I eat my bedroom door.

Meta's original long-term plan for the metaverse rung a similar bell. A digital layer over all reality, where you can virtually project yourself to any physical space, anytime, anywhere, through pervasive AR technology in the real world, and VR technology in the home. My disability gives me the unique advantage of being incredibly resilient to simulator sickness, and so I suppose I lacked the perspective to understand why this was idealism. Even then, it isn't really; we already are seeing the rise of a new class of hikikomori who exist entirely within VRChat. But I'm getting ahead of myself… we'll get there.

Of course, in either case we see ideas that, in isolation, sound ideal for solving the essential problem of a world that can never be accessible enough. But, as soon as they start interacting with real-life systems, problems start to arise. And yet the world marches on anyway. And those ideas are buckling under its weight, as the world buckles under the weight of those ideas. Collapsing to a point.

In the case of self-driving cars, we see technology too immature for real-world application, used increasingly as a gimmick and a tormentor to the NHTSA, allowing people to watch Harry Potter while their Teslas drive themselves into white trucks they mistake for the sky, with the end goal of eliminating the driver for ridesharing services. Instead of eliminating driving, we're eliminating contractors. If you don't want to rent a car, you still will need to be able to drive, and if you do want to rent a car, I hope you trust Waymo's magic box to not wrap you around a stoplight.

As for the metaverse, it was not long before that idea buckled under its own weight. AR technology will not be mature enough for years, maybe decades, to truly support what Meta wants to do. So instead they pursue the metaverse that is unreal, rather than the one laid over reality. Horizon Worlds is nothing more than a bad VRChat clone, and if their plans ever come to fruition, a tumor hanging off of their grand design. And then came the crypto bros to co-opt the term metaverse even further. Now synonymous with so-called 'Web 3', the metaverse as a concept is reduced to a bad imitation of Second Life, a constructed play space attempting to emulate a hybrid of real-estate, mall, and theme park, sold on the back of the idea that you can live there instead of reality, with the true function of extracting wealth and withholding power from its citizens, if you can call people engaging in a mass political and economic delusion-cum-playground-fantasy 'citizens' of anything.

Of course, the world barrels forward anyway. And this all would be irrelevant, if it were not for that one little unfortunate fact in the corner of the room. The metaverse is already here. It is not VRChat. It is not Horizon Worlds. It is not Decentraland. It is not augmented reality.

The metaverse is COVID-19. Or, to be more direct, it is the new way of using the internet that COVID created, by making everyone realize that remote attendance of school and work is feasible with current systems, without an immersive 3D abstraction.

The metaverse is the fact that you can go to work over Zoom and Slack, order groceries with Instacart, meals with meal delivery services, and then when you're done, put on your VR headset and spend all night world-hopping.

The metaverse is here whether we like it or not, and it came not with a bang, but with the whimper of a thousand million newly-minted hikikomori. And, for bonus points, it brought with it new forms of abuse and the rise of an underground virtual sex slave market. Because you can log off of VRChat, but you can't log off from systemic harassment.

I guess this is my thesis statement. The idea of a metaverse that encompasses the physical world died before it was born. A global pandemic ushered in instead a new, bifurcated existence. Those of us who go out into the world because we need to, and those of us who stay inside because a global pandemic created the infrastructure to never need to go out again. People who survive off of digital asset commissions and spend their days on drug-fueled party binges in the comfort of their own home. A whole new way for power-tripping digital moderators to exploit people, by using the social fabric of a metaverse app lacking governance to create social abuse and isolation so pervasive that they can compel people into sex slavery without ever seeing them in person.

What started as the promise of a new way to engage with the physical world, has instead split the world in two.

Maybe I'm overreacting. VRChat is nowhere near pervasive enough to pose a threat to society. But the social shifts caused by COVID, and by the new viability of a metaverse-free metaverse, will only magnify over the years.

God knows what's coming next.