#but driving a car would solve... 20% of my problems?

[beevean]

I need encouragement to be the bravest girl in the world (go out tomorrow to ask how much does it cost to get driving lessons because I haven't driven since I got my license 8 years ago and I need to learn again but I am scared) 😔

[peachznscream]

genunely sometimes do not know how to cope with the world being so cold and bureacratic and people who withold care and essential rights to people over arbitrary rules and money and

[pennyold]

truck driver | d.s

Summary: alone with the car a mess and a truck driver letting her in, would it end well? pretty well.

Warnings: older!drew, age gap, swearing, humping, cum play, oral (male receiving), use of word “daddy”, no use of y/n (oc reader), plot then good sex. I think that's all, hehe.

a.n: first fic, so please don't be rude, if there are any grammatical mistakes, please let me know. Enjoy!!

w.c: 1.9k

peace and love, penny ︎︎︎★

So there I was, stuck in the middle of nowhere, with my car a mess. I started thinking of many ways to solve it, but I could not fix it anyway. I’m 6 hours away from home, and no one is willing to come and help me, I’m alone right now; fortunately, it is afternoon, and the sun is still shining barely. It was 6:40 pm when I got into the car looking for some things. I won’t stay here forever; with my stuff in hand, I recharged in the car. I put my thumb up when I saw a big truck, ignored. This is going to take so long.

The sun was almost hiding when a truck-long one finally gave me lights. He stopped by my side, and I turned by the driver’s side. “What happened to you, sweetheart?” shit, my tongue got stuck in my mouth, I didn’t know specifically, but he was not too old, with his hat backward and a little smirk “How can I help you?” watching that I didn’t say any word, he talked.

“Uh, yes, my car got stuck here, so I was wondering if you could drive me to the close motel here.” I bite my middle finger nail, anxious.

He nods “Of course I can, there’s one an hour, wanna get in?” I nod, then I check my car for one last time, and with all my things, I get in the truck, hopefully, large in the pilot and copilot place, and clean. Well, it is not that bad. With my thing in my lap, I watched the landscape while 90s rock music played at a very low volume.

“So,” he broke the silence, “what happened with your car?” he asked “The battery died.” I explained. “Mmh, there was no signal of that happening before?” he asked with a curious look. His eyes were blue, a dark blue. “No, sir.” “It may be a battery problem.” he says.

Oh, thanks for telling me I didn’t notice.

“I mean, comin’ from the company.” he knows what I think when my face is confused “I know my answer sounds stupid, but it can happen.”  “Yeah, sure.” Maybe I sound rude, but I was just exhausted, and I don’t want to talk, not right now.

After a while on the road, I opened my mouth. “How much rest?” I shyly grab my things hard, nervous. When I looked at him for a little second, he watched my move, he shut his eyes away and rapidly looked at me. “Not too much, a 40 min we are there, don’t worry. I promise.” he slightly smirk, and I saw some awkwardness on his face.

“Do you live here?” I asked, I’m feeling he’s giving the green signal. “Yeah, in the south, what about you?” I looked out the window, seeing the sun in the middle of the mountain. “A 6 hours away, to the north.” “Alright,” he nodded, then a little gas station with a market appeared “Do you need souvenirs?” “Oh, no, don’t worry,” I smile shyly, not to bother him, “I will come at midnight on my own”

“What are you sayin’? I said it cuz after would not be safe and worse if you go alone.” he denied it, and I disappointed him, good job. “It’s not safe out here, trust me when I say it. “Yes, sir.” “Do not call me ‘sir’, I’m not that old.” Then he looked at me. I feel guilty “It’s not in a bad way, I didn’t want to be rude to you.” “No, it’s fine, I get it, don’t worry. Can I call you by your name?” I smiled. “Call me Drew, what bout’ you, hon?” I feel a slight heat in my body with that nickname, shit. “Alisha or Ali, whatever, it’s good.” he smiled “Alright, Ali.” 

I turned my body to face him “If you are not too old, how old are you?” “42.” he says firmly “Well…” He interrupted me. “Damn it, kid, what’s young for you?” I slightly blink. “25, mostly in the 20s.” “How old are ya now?” he side-eyed me, still looking at the road. “22.” “Sure… you look like 19, kid.” he looked at me, not convinced by my age. “I can show you my driver’s license; I’m not playing.”

“Nah, I’m just messing with you.” he laughed “We arrived in 10 minutes, Do you want me to leave you in the reception while I park the truck, or you wanna wait for me?” “I’ll wait for you.” he nods “Alright, hon.” 

We arrived at the parking lot of the motel, graving all my stuff, we got out of the truck. He helped me to get down, I thanked him, and we started the walk through the motel. As we entered, a weird smell got into my nose, really bad. There was no one in the reception, so Drew knocked the bell that was just there. Minutes later, a lady came, which wasn’t very happy. “Hey, ma’am, two rooms, please.” she checked the notes in her book “Good, it’s gonna be 40 for the two.” I grabbed my wallet, taking out 20 dollars, when I was going to give it to the lady, Drew had already given her 40 dollars. “Here.” I gave him the 20 dollars, but he denied it “Drew, please.” he whispered “By my own, Hon, don’t worry. Keep it.”

I smiled at him. The lady gave each one their key, just 1 room separated us. I waved to him and wished him good night, leaving my stuff on the little couch, I went to the bathroom, my hair was so dirty and awful. After the quick shower, I put on a tight shirt, which was the only clean I had in my backpack, and a pair of sleepy shorts. My stomach started hurting, and I was starving, I took my wallet, locked the dorm, and after I started walking to the lobby, a voice echoed behind me. “Where are you going, sweetheart?” It was Drew, out of his dorm, smoking a cigarette. “To the lobby, there is a snack machine.” he stands up “I go with you,” he throws the cigarette, turning it off with his boot. I wait for him, who’s right by my side, as we walk by the lobby, I notice it's lonely in the lobby. “You want something, Drew?” “No, sweetheart, I’m fine.”

I nod, and I buy some cookies and drinks. Ignoring that, he told me he didn’t want anything I gave him a Pepsi cola. “Hon… I told you.” “It’s for the dorm.” He smiled and thanked me. Walking to the rooms and watching the food, I thought something. “Would you like to watch a movie? Still early.” With anxious feelings, I bite my lip button. “Sure, why not?” he smiled.

As we entered the room, I left the food on the table and turned the TV on. I started curious about the area of the TV, and I found a hidden fridge with some sodas and beers.

“Wanna?” I said as I showed him the beer. “Sure, bring it, hon.” Giving him the beer, I sat next to him on the little couch, not very comfy, but we could not be in the bed, right? Quitting that question, there is where we were, my hips rocking over his crotch. “Shit baby, you make me get so hard.” I moan, kissing him again. As he put his big hand over my hips, my pussy started pulsing for the stimulation. “Drew…” I moan. “I cannot, baby. I can’t fuck you.” he denied touching my back softly. “Please.” I look at him with lust, my body is demanding him inside me. “We can do another thing. You wanna try it?” I nod immediately “I need you to trust me. I would never try to hurt you, but if I do, just tell me, and I'll stop, alright?” I nod “I want you to be rough with me. I need it.” “Baby…” he whispered. “Please” I beg.

Slowly I get out of his legs, sliding my shorts out while I watch him wake up the bed and unbelting his pants, the singular sound of the belt clinking, my pussy got more wet. I showed him my bare legs wanting him to remove my panties; he understood, sliding his fingers around the sweet material of my panties, as he took it over, he looked at my now bare pussy exposed for him.

“Open those pretty legs, sweetheart, wanna see the pretty cunt you have” As he said, I opened slowly, feeling how my folds parted and the cold air conditioner slap my pussy “Jesus, what a pretty pussy, baby, are you going to let me take care of her?” I nod “Words, baby.” “Yes, Daddy.” I bite my bottom lip. “Fuck, turn around, now” 

As I did it, I heard how he slid his boxers down, and without advancing, his cock started to run over my folds. I moan, feeling his tip, trying to get insane out of my hole. “S-shit, drew, stop teasing.” “You are not into birth control, right?” I denied I don’t have an active sexual life; I only use condoms and after-day pills. “Sorry, hon, I wanted to fuck you, but we cannot” he rubs his cock again over my folds, my sticky arousal covering his hard cock, I moan feeling his chubby tip against my entrance. “Shit, Daddy, please” I move my hips backward, wanting more of the friction. “Am I your daddy, baby?” the rub of his cock got faster, and my pussy started clenching around nothing. “Y-yes, shit, I-I’m cumming” my legs shaking and my hands gracing the sheets harder. “Cum baby, let that sticky cum cover my cock” his body fell slowly over my back, then I felt his mouth close to my ear. “Then you are going to suck it till I cum, alright, baby?” “Yes, Daddy, I will.” I barely say, feeling my high, I cum, moaning uncontrollably, shaking my legs like a weak doll. 

“On your knees.” recuperating the control of my legs, I get on my knees in front of him. I look at him, then I grab his hard cock, veined and the tip red and so chubby like I feel it. “Open your mouth with your tongue out.”  I did it as he said it, his tip over my tongue, slapping in, then he told me to suck it, putting my tongue under his cock and sucking it all. Shit, my pussy started pulsing over the feeling of his tip hitting my throat too deep, he’s big. I suck him slowly, tasting all of my cum. “Yeah baby… feel all your cum” he groaned, bringing his head back, he grabbed my hair starting to fuck my mouth, he’s so close, I could feel his cock twitching inside my mouth “Fuck, hon, I’m gonna cum” fucking my mouth he pulls it out, and his sticky fluids spank over my face, breast and some on the floor. As he released himself, he watched the cum over my face. “Shit baby, I’m sorry.” Desperately look for a towel and clean my face and breasts.

“Did it get inside your eye?” I denied. “Come, let me take you to the shower.” I pull him back, whispering in his ear that my pussy still wants attention. “Oh, sweetheart, want to be fucked? That’s what she’s going to get.”

divider: @/enchanthings-a

[baby-stoner-butch]

Road Trip

Been thinking lately about long road trips, the kind where you're driving through the middle of nowhere for hours and hours and hours and how the only people passing through along with you are other road trippers or long haul semi trucks. Thinking about all that time alone in the car, all the run down gas stations and rest areas you end up stopping at while driving through nowhere that don't feel real. Thinking about what me and my Passenger Princess could do to pass the time driving through farmland with shitty radio stations and no cellphone service

We'd leave early, like 4 AM early. I'd pack up the car, luggage in the trunk, backpacks in the back seat, and a cooler on the floor within arms reach while we're driving. I'd let my baby sleep as long as she could before I wake her up and tell her it's time to go. As we pull out of the driveway, she falls right back asleep. I'll still get her a refresher when I make my first coffee stop, it'll be waiting for her in the cooler when she wakes up. She won't know that I added a couple shots to the drink before I put it away

Maybe she'd wake up again around 9am or so, whenever I have to make my first gas stop. We'd pull into one of those big truck stops that's nice and clean and has lots of snacks and decent breakfast sandwiches and all that. The last nice big truck stop before the next rural stretch. I'd let my baby wake up and walk around and pick out something for breakfast and feel like she's starting her day before I let her know about the present I have for her in the cooler. Once the car is gassed up and my baby is settled into the passenger seat we'd hit the road again

About 20 minutes into this drive, she'd have eaten her breakfast and drank most of the refresher and she'd start to wonder why she feels kinda tired and spacey. "That's just how road trips are, love, I'm feeling kind of tired too. You just didn't sleep as well in the passenger seat. Why don't you lay the seat back and get comfy, we still have a long way to go,"

I'd let her drift off and feel her buzz for a while, let her think she's still just not completely awake. It's been a long time since she's been on a road trip like this, so I'm probably right that being in the car so long just makes you feel tired and weird. But as she lays there she's more and more aware that she feels disoriented and dizzy. She starts to believe she's carsick and asks me to pull over.

The only place to pull over is a weird little rest area off the highway. One of the ones that might have a vending machine and a clean bathroom, and a handful of picnic tables out in front. There's maybe a dozen cars and trucks parked around, but only one person I can see walking around in the parking lot. We'd sit at a table outside and I'd have my princess drink some water and tell me how she's feeling. She says it's like the world is moving faster than her, like she can't quite gather all her thoughts. I'd tell her that's what it felt like for me the first time I got carsick too. "That's all it is baby is carsickness, you're just dizzy because you fell asleep in the car and got all confused. But I heard that weed can help with car sickness, and I have some edibles in the glove box." She'd try and argue and say that doesn't sound right, but she also can't think very clearly anymore. It's easy to convince her that getting high would solve the problem. She takes an edible as we pull back out onto the highway

About an hour later the gummy kicks in and my baby complains that it's not doing anything to help her carsickness. She says it's hard to focus her eyes and that's making her dizzier and we need to pull over again. "We can't baby, we still have to make decent time. The more we pull over the longer you have to stay in the car." I convince her to hold out a little longer for me. There's a bandana in the glovebox she can use as a sleeping mask, and she ties it tight over her eyes for me so obediently. I reach over and rub gently up and down her thigh to help her calm down

While she snoozes I talk to her so softly. "You're doing so good for me baby, relaxing in the passenger seat. Feel how the car rocks you back and forth, listen to the white noise of the road. Such a good girl for me keeping me company in the passenger seat," Soon enough I can tell she's starting to fall back asleep

Slowly and quietly I take my hand from her thigh and reach into my door pocket where I hid her vibrator. She doesn't notice as I turn it on and connect it to my phone. She only lets out a small moan when I tuck my hand under her skirt, into her panties, and place the vibe right against her clit. She's so wet for me already, she must have been dreaming about something like this all morning. I'm not going to start playing with her yet though, it's a long car ride and I want to save some of the fun for later.

The tank is about halfway empty when she wakes up again and tells me she feels a little better now. If I didn't know any better I'd assume she actually did feel better, but she's still to high to notice the vibrator against her wet pussy. I tell her that it's been a while and she should probably take another edible so she stays feeling better. She takes one without question

It's around 1pm when we pull into a little middle of nowhere diner for some lunch. I walk around to open the car door for my baby and help her out of the car. She leans on me with enough weight that I know if I wasn't holding her up she'd be stumbling around at best. At least this way she can save face and I look like a gentleman.

At the gas station, she waits in the car while I fill the tank and go inside for road drinks. I get a 4 pack of spiked sodas for my baby and an energy drink for me. She's too high to read the label when I hand her her first. It's 2:30pm when we hit the road again.

While my baby sips her soda we chat. I ask her how she's feeling now that she ate and she says she feels good. She thinks the weed is helping. I ask her if she's going to be okay for another long stretch and she says yes. "Did you notice the way everyone was looking at us in the diner, baby? You were holding on to me so tight, I wonder what they were all thinking. I wonder if they could tell how high you are. I wonder if they could see the vibrator under your skirt."

She looks at me confused for a second before her eyes go wide in shock as I turn up the vibrator on her clit. She gasps and squirms in her seat, putting on a cute little show for me. She would have spilled her soda if the bottle wasn't so empty. She looks like she's about to reach down and turn off the vibrator. "Don't touch." She whines and moans but she does what she's told.

"Finish your drink baby," I turn the vibrator down to its lowest setting so she can focus on her task. When she finishes I reach back into the cooler and hand her another. "Finish this too." My baby's always been such a good listener when she's crossed

She drinks about half the bottle before she finally decided to read the label. "Babe did you know there's alcohol in this?" Her speech is slurred and slow, like she really has to fight to use her words. I tell her I don't know what she's talking about. She still finishes the bottle like a good girl

The next hour on the road I have one hand on the wheel and the other playing with her vibrator. Every time she gets close to cumming I turn it back down on the lowest setting and tell her to sip her drink. She's not allowed to cum until she finishes all 4 bottles. She finishes her last one a mile before the next rest stop

I pull off the highway and park the car as far away from the door as I can, just so I can watch her stumble through the parking lot a bit longer. Before I help her out of the car, I pop another gummy between her lips. It's for the best since she finished all her soda

There's one other car in the parking lot, and a semi truck parked along the on ramp. Neither driver is in their vehicle.

I help my baby out of the car, but I tell her I forgot my phone in the car and make her walk by herself this time. She sways slightly when I let her go and takes slow steps towards the door. She almost trips stepping up to the sidewalk and catches herself on a light post. She bends over to steady herself and I can see her soaking wet panties peak out from under her short little skirt. I'm so glad she didn't question the outfit I laid out for her this morning

I take my time catching up to her, but when I do I grab her arm to steady her and walk her inside with me. I can feel the stares from the other travelers when I pull open the door and push my baby through. I don't think she's aware enough to realize anyone saw her. She's so adorable when she can't walk straight!

I walk her into the bathroom with me, one hand on the small of her back and the other holding open the door. As soon as we're inside I turn the deadbolt. I force my lips onto hers, standing on my tiptoes just a bit, and use my bodyweight to pin her to the wall. One hand caresses her jaw so carefully and the other finds it way under her skirt. She's soaked though her panties and I can feel her twitch as I tease my fingers along her slit. I bring my lips close to her ear and whisper "Stay still baby"

Pull away from her face I sink to my knees in front of her, pulling her panties down with me. She whimpers when I pull the vibrator away from her clit and pocket it. I guide her carefully to step out of them, making sure she's still standing before I reach up and shove them inside her drooling little mouth. "Don't drop those sweetheart"

I love when she gets so desperate and needy, I know she needs to cum so bad and she's been so patient while I've had my fun with her. Her thighs are so wet from her leaky cunt, I run my tongue slowly up her leg to tease her, and stop just before I reach her cunt to leave her some pretty bite marks. She's going to bruise so beautifully

She grabs a fist full of my hair to steady herself. I put one leg over my shoulder and hold her to my face by her hips. I blow a slow cool breath over her pussy and feel her shift more of her weight onto me. It sounds like she's trying to beg through her panties. "Be good for me baby, don't drop your panties"

Finally I give her what she wants, I pull her hips forward and push my tongue so deep inside her, letting her drip down my chin. She whines so loud for me as I tease her clit with my thumb, but my good girl doesn't let her panties fall from her mouth. Her muffled "please please" gets louder and louder as I taste her wet cunt

I grip her thigh with my free hand and press her harder against the wall. She's so close to cumming that she's dripping down my chin just the way I like. I won't stop to give her permission to cum, but I'll force her to cum anyway. She screams so loud around her panties in her mouth and tightens her grip on my hair as I thrust my tongue in and out of her. I lift her just an inch off the ground as she clenches so tight around me, I don't slow down while she pulls my face closer and she cums

I feel her ride her orgasm as I gently bring her back down to the ground. Her legs are shaking as she's forced to stand on her own once again. I keep one hand on her waist as I stand to meet her unfocused gaze. "Open" I command as I remove her panties from her mouth. Those go in my pocket too. I lean my weight against her into the wall and I whisper in her ear "That's my good girl" with a gentle nip at her earlobe. All she can do is whimper in response

As we leave the bathroom she hangs off me for support and keeps her eyes to the ground. I notice only one person remains in the rest stop, presumably the truck driver. They must have heard everything. "Lets go my love," I whisper to my baby, "we still have a long drive ahead of us"

[literarion]

The #RainbowRoad podfic series is complete!

It is done.

My podfic of the #RainbowRoad series is completed. I started working on this in summer 2023, started posting in January 2024, and now, finally, it's complete. If you're keen on 66+ hours of podfic of one of the most amazing AUs in the Good Omens fandom, give it a listen:

Part 1: Sit Tight, Take Hold.

The summer of 2022, Ezira Phale is a rookie Formula 1 driver out to prove he's one of the best race car drivers in the world, but everything gets turned upside down when he falls in love with his real-life idol, AJ Crowley. Or: The one where Crowley does not go too fast for Aziraphale.

E-rated, 23 hours

Part 2: How Do You Solve a Problem Like Ezira?

Hey babe, wake up. New season of Drive to Survive just dropped. S5: E6 "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Ezira? Synopsis: Newcomers, GO Force 1, bite off more than they can chew when signing on former Formula 3 champion and Formula 2 veteran Ezira Phale as their second driver.

T-rated, 1 hour

Part 3: Accept a Little Spin

It's the 2023 season, and sophomore driver, Ezira Phale, is out to prove he's worthy of his seat at McLaren F1 as the world tests the boundaries of his confidence and his relationship with IndyCar driver, AJ Crowley.

E-rated, 20 hours

Part 4: Oh, there's a long way to go

The Brunch Bunch is invited to Christmas dinner at Mr. Wilson's house.

T-rated, 1 hour

Part 5: Fools Rush In

Ezira Phale, McLaren F1 veteran, is in contention for his first ever World Driver's Championship. Meanwhile, Crowley is in his fourth and final season in Indycar, but the announcement of his retirement gets overshadowed by their friends' big news. Or, the one in which Ezira and Crowley get roped into their friends' wedding planning. Shenanigans ensue.

E-rated, 14 hours

Part 6: 0-60 in 3.5

In which Crowley and Ezira Phale do a victory lap.

T-rated, 7 hours

Bonus: Literarion does an Interview ... with nieded and Djap

I spoke to nieded and Djap about the fic and podfic for RainbowRoad, cultural differences between the US and Europe, and all the food.

M-rated, 95 minutes

I would like to thank everyone who has worked with me on this enormous project, starting with Djap, who read so many hours of press team content and camera directions, and helped make the podfics what they are; to @nieded, who let me play in her world and make this thing in the first place; and to @pyracantha, @dustandhalos, and @blairamok, who provided the cover art.

It was an absolute pleasure to make this pod, and I hope you all give it a listen or two. :)

[brighteststar707]

either 20 or 24 with seven? i loveeee awkward and blushy saeyoung <3

can’t wait to see what you come up with for these prompts— you always come up with the most interesting scenarios and your descriptions are just so immersive :’)

Hi, sorry for the delays on this fic! I thought I'd pick prompt 20 and write my own version of the iconic 'hearing your voice...' phone call! That's some clumsy flirting if I ever did see it hehe

Thank you for the request! I hope you enjoy (and happy holidays <3)

Clumsy Attempts at Flirting

✦707 x Gn!Reader ✦ Words: 1054

There is a disturbance in Seven's head. Perhaps some faulty connection or something finally knocked loose during his last field mission, he's not sure.

He finds himself in the backseat in his own mind. He has no control over his racing thoughts and plans, much less the ability to focus on the demanding tasks ahead of him. Every time he tries, it's like his brain disconnects and leaves him with nothing but static. He tries to focus on agency work but finds his hands working on a robot prototype instead. He takes his car out for a drive to clear his head and finds no reprieve in even that.

It's embarrassing for him to admit this, but you're the only person keeping him somewhat sane at the moment. He finds himself opening chatrooms just to talk to you for a few minutes. Your voice manages to cut through all the noise the way nothing else can and it soothes him for short periods of time.

There is a sneaking suspicion in his mind that you're the one who's causing all this chaos to begin with, but that idea brings him no relief. If you really have unsettled him so, there is no solution he can imagine that would bring back his focus.

Either way, he likes to talk to you often just to keep the buzzing at bay. He knows that it's a temporary solution to a problem he suspects runs much deeper and is harder to solve. There is no place for you in his world. He'd like nothing more than to keep you as far away from it as possible, for you to never have to know of the terrible things he has done just to survive.

(If only that didn't mean having to keep himself away from you too - but he really doesn't have the time for fanciful thoughts like that.)

He tries other remedies. He tries to sleep, goes for longer drives, drinks energy drinks to keep him going. He even builds you another robot, hoping that if he indulges in one of his passing ideas it will keep the others at bay to no avail. The only thing that helps him focus is hearing from you.

You send him little texts throughout the day (as if you can tell how heavily he relies on them) and appear often in the chatrooms. With each passing day, he grows more and more distracted and, consequently, more desperate for any form of connection with you. His subconscious is occupied with nothing but the memory of you. Echoes of your voice, the sweet sing-song way you always seem to say his name (as if it makes you happy just to hear from him). It bounces around in his head at the most inopportune moments.

Less pleasant are the fears for your safety. Your voice in his mind twists into something awful, terrified, calling for him to help you. But you are, as always, somewhere he cannot reach. He finds himself occupied with all the different ways that things can go wrong - on top of all his other fears.

He closes his eyes and sees your face, his fingers type your name through lines of code of their own volition. It's getting dangerous.

He imagines it's that sense of desperation that causes him to type out your number one day (he doesn't even remember memorising it). He only notices what he has done when he hears your voice on the other end.

“Oh…you picked up! I just wanted to hear your voice while working, I must have called you without thinking. I… was worried I was going to forget what it sounded like.” God, he doesn't know what he's saying.

Somehow, you reward him with a laugh. His head spins.

“I didn’t wake you up, did I?” He continues. He isn’t sure what to do if you say yes.

He can hear the sound of your voice on the other end and it sends a jolt of electricity through him (better than even Dr. Pepper could do) but all he can grasp is you telling him something about being responsible for what he’s done. His heart jumps in his chest. You're teasing him, and he probably deserves it, but he can barely take it at the moment without turning into a blushing stuttering mess.

He starts to babble – about what, he can’t remember – just to fill the empty air so you don’t hang up. He wants this conversation to go on for a bit longer, just to keep hearing you talk. Pity it seems to have come at the cost of his filter. He finds himself talking about a dream he had a few hours ago.

Since meeting you, he has revealed so much about himself that he wouldn’t think of telling other people. He hears his voice saying things he has never dared to say out loud before.

“Something really strange happened when I was calling you before… My hands were just pressing your number automatically… It was like I was in a trance. I thought about hanging up, but I’m glad I didn’t.”

“I’m glad you didn’t too.” You sound genuine. Warm and so welcoming, he could just curl up and....

“Hah… hearing your voice… makes me want to take you to the space station.”

Why did he say that? It’s official, something is wrong with him. He feels the heat rising through his body and he feels like he’s about to catch on fire.

Before you can say anything, he blurts out, “Oh, I have lots of work to do so I need to hang up… Um… thanks for talking to me!”

He hangs up, buries his face in his hands and groans. You’re never going to talk to him again, and he’s certainly never going to get any work done anytime soon.

Still, despite his embarrassment, the memory of your laughing echoes through his head. It sends shivers through him despite still feeling so hot. He wants to - no, he has to - hear it again.

He keeps his face firmly planted in his hands (the skin of his cheeks is so hot, he idly worries that he's got a fever). He has no idea what he's going to do with himself.

He wants to call you.

[dragonagitator]

Questions for House MD fanfic authors, other House MD lore enthusiasts, and anyone familiar with Princeton, New Jersey geography:

Have you found or created any good references or headcanons for the locations that exist in the show, but not in real life?

If you live(d) in this part of New Jersey, do you have any opinions on where it would make sense to place things?

I ask because the House MD time travel / isekai author self-insert fanfic I'm writing is going to delve pretty deeply into the logistical, legal, and financial challenges of building a new life from literally nothing, 20 years in the past. Unlike @acrownforaking 's protagonist in "Intervention," my OC is not a teenage girl who can be passed off as House's long-lost daughter (which is for the best, given how much my middle-aged self-insert wants to fuck that age-appropriate man), and she is going to get off on the wrong foot with the characters who might have normally been the most able/inclined to help her.

So, getting around the Princeton area in 2004 as a broke semi-homeless person is a problem to be solved as part of the story, and thus I need to nail down the precise location of key settings in the Houseverse so I can figure out what they're within walking distance of, transit options, etc.

The Hospital

Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital doesn't exist IRL, and it's not simply a fictionalization of Princeton Hospital because that IRL hospital also exists in the Houseverse and is referenced a few times in the show.

I used to assume that the fictional PPTH was somewhere on the IRL Princeton Plainsboro Road, located here:

But the wiki reminded me that in "After Hours," it says Prospect Street on Chase's GPS. The nearest Prospect Street is in the town of South Brunswick Township and appears to be a residential neighborhood from "driving" down it in Google Street View, but there's a Prospect Avenue in Princeton that terminates on Princeton's campus:

Meanwhile, the building in the aerial exterior shots of PPTH on the show is actually the Frist Campus Center of Princeton University IRL:

And Frist Campus Center is located near the western end of Prospect Avenue, where it terminates at Washington Rd:

Meanwhile, while the show never explicitly identifies which medical school their teaching hospital is affiliated with, I'm comfortable headcanoning that Princeton University has a medical school in the Houseverse (it doesn't have one IRL). We can deduce from "Three Stories" and the early season 4 episodes that the hospital and medical school must be adjacent or perhaps even share some buildings because the characters seem to go back and forth between the classrooms and the hospital without putting on their coats or getting in their cars.

So I'm thinking of headcanoning that Princeton University has a much larger campus in the Houseverse than in IRL, with the medical school buildings and hospital complex clustered around the corner of Washington Road & Prospect Avenue (which is Prospect Street in the Houseverse). I'll keep the exterior of the buildings pretty close to IRL, but what's inside them will be different.

However, there's a couple of problems with this location:

1) Why would a hospital in that location be named Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital? Where does the "Plainsboro" part come in if it's not in that town or on that road?

The IRL Princeton Hospital is on Plainsboro Road, but again, PPTH isn't just a fictionalized version of the IRL Princeton Hospital because the latter exists in the Houseverse and is occasionally referenced on the show. We can also infer from some of Cuddy's remarks about Princeton Hospital that it is a completely separate organization with different management, specialties, accepted health insurance plans, etc.

And here is the location of the IRL Princeton Hospital in relation to Frist Campus Center (the building depicted at PPTH on the show):

Unless someone has a better explanation or idea, I think I'm just going to headcanon that there is/was a second hospital in the same area as the IRL Princeton Hospital that is/was named Princeton Plainsboro Hospital and that the PPTH from the show was originally a satellite campus of that hospital but is now independent. The "Plainsboro" part of the name is simply a legacy from when it was a satellite campus, and Cuddy is too financially sensible to waste a ton of money on a rebranding campaign.

I live at the bottom of "Pill Hill" in Seattle (First Hill) and can attest that having a bunch of different hospitals all clustered together is definitely a thing that happens IRL despite how counter-intuitive it is to have multiple emergency rooms within a few blocks of each other instead of spread throughout the city.

2) Where should I put all the university departments and functions that are displaced by turning Frist Campus Center and the surrounding buildings into a hospital complex and medical school?

This problem is an easier solve, because what's this I spy in satellite view:

Fuck that golf course.

So unless anyone has a better idea, I'm going to expand Princeton University's campus to the southwest, replacing the golf course that's there IRL. Maybe include a nice arboretum so that we still have some green space, but make it a park that anyone can use instead of a private golf club with a $6,000 (!!!) initiation fee.

House's Apartment:

Per his driver's license, House lives at 221B Baker Street (just like every other Sherlock).

His apartment (technically condo, since he owns it) is "a few miles" from the hospital per the episode "Whatever It Takes" and it's an 8-mile run via an unknown route (likely not a straight line) per the episode "Meaning."

His mother indicates that he specifically lives in the city of Princeton, not a neighboring city or suburb, because she's been following the Princeton police blotter ever since House moved there, per the episode "Love is Blind."

Unfortunately, neither of the local Baker Streets are even in Princeton:

So it seems that I need to just pick an existing street in Princeton and rename it as Baker Street in the Houseverse.

Ideas for some Princeton streets that are an appropriate distance from the hospital where a building that looks like this and the street name "Baker" would fit in?

I can't find anything about there being an IRL location that corresponds to the exterior of House's apartment building, so I suspect it's a fake building on a sound stage. But please correct me if I'm wrong.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts & help!

[rahmercy]

My mom has been battling stage 3 pancreatic cancer and 2 days ago, she completed her 4th chemotherapy session. She has 2 more to go before they assess it to remove the tumor.

She was diagnosed on November 28, 2023. She began chemotherapy December 26, 2023 and was admitted to the emergency room later that day from complications. She was discharged December 29, 2023 and my family came down to Florida on December 30, 2023.

On her birthday, January 2, 2024, after her follow-up meeting with her oncologist. She was feeling defeated about how things had been happening since her diagnosis. She vocalized no desire to live in front of us (including my 12 year old daughter (her only grandchild)).

My family (my spouse, daughter & myself), at the suggestion of my spouse made the commitment to be her ongoing support system. This is so she could make whatever decision she wanted regarding how she chooses to proceed with her diagnosis.

I personally committed to split time between our 2 bedroom home in Durham, North Carolina & her 1 bedroom apartment in Fort Lauderdale, Florida to make sure we could commit to her health treatment planned as it began taking effect on December 26, 2023.

We did not request anything from anybody and agreed to take on the additional financial burdens it would place on us to fulfill this commitment, (despite knowing we weren't in the financial situation to do so).

We arranged things so my spouse and daughter could return to school in NC on January 8th. I stayed back with my mom for that chemo week. Since I'm a business owner with time flexibility, I would make the trips and stay with my mom throughout the treatment windows in Florida.

This agreement means renting a car for an one-way trip to North Carolina or Florida weekly (a $200-275 expense & 11-14 hours of travel time per trip). The first time we brought her up to NC ever, my spouse drove our car down to get us and then shared in the responsibility of driving back to NC. It cost us $250 in fuel and food for the trip. We realized it gave my mom & I more flexibility in travel days, saved on time spent on the road, and cost the same to just rent a car (Chevrolet Malibu) for each trip.

This agreement meant now sourcing food with all my mom's health dietary restrictions (from having a gastric sleeve) & her diagnosis dietary restrictions for 2 households. As well as me preparing most meals for both homes while I'm in and away from NC. In addition, replacing gluten with gluten-free alternatives in the diet. (A lot more coconut and almond based supplies). Cooking meals for a family of four that works and can be considered Keto-friendly and cancer friendly and while trying to stay under a budget of $300-$350 monthly.

Since we've implemented this plan to be her support system, all hell has broken loose in our lives. (My mom calls it just life lifing though).

On Martin Luther King weekend, began a school district wide issue in my Daughter's school system. Different staff began protesting and calling out of work (which we personally support their stances) due to significant pay discrepancies being communicated.

This immediately meant unreliable transportation for my daughter getting to & from school 25+ minutes away. My spouse teaches in a different school system 20 minutes in the opposite direction of my daughter's school, and we only have one car. Since she started middle school this year, their school school arrival times are the same. But her bus pick-up time solved the problem there. So there is now an ongoing possibility of him being late to work at his school daily.

On our first trip back down for treatment, it went perfect with the rental, until I realized after returning the rental car that I had lost my business cellphone inside of the rental car. (It hasn't been found by Budget's staff during cleaning and the car had already been rented out again less than 2 hours after being dropped off.) So I still have to pay to get that phone replaced.

This is compiled on top of this being my businesses' slow season and having no reserves to catch the $950 overhead in monthly expenses that comes from inventory space, business insurance, & hosting email domains, office assistant services & website. We only one future booking on the calendar and it's for a new build. January there was only $900 made. $300 had to go towards having to subrent out the job because it over lapped with chemo treatment and would cost twice as much to keep in-house with temp staff. $150 went towards repaying our transaction based capital funding loan from Shopify. $120 went towards getting 2 items of inventory for the second booking.

So I borrowed funds from something I couldn't afford to take from just to keep all of our inventory spaces secured.

My Chase credit card is over the limit by $140 and a payment is due today. My secure loan payment with Navy Federal is also due today and I don't have any of it. My business insurance payment of $200 is due tomorrow, and I don't have that either.

And the difference in the cost for our last car rental to come down for chemo week is still due back to the card I used for it. And I have to pay 200 for the car rental to go back up to NC Monday.

Then back in NC, this week on Tuesday, our only car's engine light came on. It was taken into our dealership on Wednesday morning to find out why. That diagnostic end up costing $250. We finally got answers Friday afternoon. Our car has 139k miles on it, and we're being told the engine needs to be replaced. It has been quoted $8k to have a used engine put into it or over $12k to have a new engine with a lifetime warranty put into our 2016 Chevrolet Cruze premier.

This car gets everyone to school and has been how my spouse has been supplementing his income working for the school system and parks & rec by doing Shipt. So now income has been reduced even more and expenses have drastically increased more.

MY business first official rental booking for this year took place yesterday, and that was supposed to be able to be delivered using our car. Since it's still in the shop, we had to book a last-minute $200 car rental for my spouse and daughter to fulfill the booking delivery yesterday and to be able to go back to do the rental booking pick-up today.

Emergency fund is pretty much exhausted after this week and the savings, too. Then today, with a little downtime, I learn that all my email payments were due on MLK weekend. This resulted in 5 email domains (3 important ones needed for tax filings) to be canceled by godaddy after 2 weeks of missing the payment notifications. I've had the email plan for almost 10 years, and it initially only cost me $14/month for all 5 emails. But because it was canceled and the package no longer exists, it cost me $29/month to have them reactivate and restore the 3 important emails or over $70/month to get them all reactivated. I only activated the 3 and paid it up until April for $59, so I don't miss its before filing taxes.

This week in Florida, my mom's cancer treatment visits started charging her a copay. Due to an error that recently took place on the backend by her health insurance. It's taking longer to resolve it with then despite them already seeing that it'san error in their coordination of benefits process. This week alone, we had to pay $325 in co-pays just to avoid the chemotherapy and white blood cell visits at the oncologist from being canceled by their office. The error is still causing a previous $200 outstanding balance to reflect on her account.

TODAY, it all became too much to hold in any longer. I have never had to face this many trials all at once while still having ongoing ones coming my way. My heart, mind & spirit is heavy right now. I need GOD to do something supernatural for my family in this season. In a way, only God can show up. I'm not broken. My faith isn't shaken. We're not going back on our commitment. Cancer won't defeat my family! We're breaking so many generational cycles right now. Cancer was just the catalyst to expedite the process.

[all-the-things-2020]

No Better Place - Chapter 20

Summary: Monica has an idea and Cassidy gets a huge shock.

Warnings: description of panic attack

Word count: 3500

When Javi submitted a request for additional funding to add an equine therapy component to his department’s program, he hadn’t expected much. To his surprise, the city had responded within a week with a promise of at least $5,000 a year and the possibility of more. It turned out that the police chief’s wife and the mayor’s niece were both involved in a riding group that performed at local rodeos and parades, raising money for charity. Both of them were enthusiastic about adding a horse centered program to the city’s slate, and had applied subtle pressure to the chief and the mayor.

Monica worked with Mary Sue to draw up a proposal. Things progressed nicely as spring approached, until the day Monica appeared in Javi’s office, a frown on her face. “Bad news, boss,” she said.

“What’s up?” Javi asked.

“Mary Sue just got an offer she can’t refuse,” she said, sinking into the chair. Her belly was getting bigger and she took every opportunity to sit. “A very rich family in Dallas -- I’m talking J.R. Ewing rich -- has a child with several disabilities. They’ve made substantial donations to the Children’s Hospital in Dallas and they heard about the work Mary Sue is doing from someone who had been visiting the hospital here. Long story short, they’ve offered her a ranch -- like a five thousand acre ranch -- and a budget of $50,000 a year to move her organization up there so she can work with their kid. Of course, they’ll be able to write most of it off on their taxes, but still, it’s an amazing opportunity for her and they’ve even offered to help her husband find a job in Dallas. She couldn’t say no.”

“Where does that put us?” Javi asked, leaning back in his chair. He’d just gotten a tentative promise to kick an additional thousand dollars into the program budget from a local car dealer, provided he got a mention in all promotional materials and a small ad in the Blue Ridge brochures.

“Square one,” Monica admitted. “She did say the owner of the property she’s leasing would be amenable to transferring her lease with all the existing agreements to another nonprofit.”

“Which doesn’t do us any good, since she’s the only equine nonprofit in the area,” Javi sighed.

Monica shifted in her chair. “Well, maybe we could get someone from elsewhere to move up here,” she said carefully. “Like maybe someone from Laredo?”

“First of all, she won’t answer my calls. Second of all, she’s not a charity,” Javi said curtly.

“She’s not a charity right now,” Monica said. “But Rob’s got several nonprofits as clients. The paperwork isn’t that difficult, and if she registers as a nonprofit, she can get donations to help with expenses.”

Javi stood up. “She won’t listen to me,” he said. “She won’t even talk to me or my dad.” He ran a hand through his hair. He knew from what Chucho had mentioned that things were not going well financially for Cassidy, and this could really help her out. If she was willing to hear him out.

“How about if Rob and I get everything together, figure out exactly what she’d need to register with the IRS and then we figure out some way to get her to listen to our pitch?” Monica said. “If we have to, we can drive down there and ambush her at home.” She paused. “Look, Javi, I know you still love her. That’s abundantly clear. If there’s even the slightest chance this will get you two talking again … if the distance was the issue, then this solves that problem. She’d be a fifteen, twenty minute drive from your apartment. Hell, you could move out there with her and commute to work, no sweat.”

Javi stared out the window, which didn’t have much of a view, just an alley that allowed access for delivery trucks and the brick wall of the adjacent building. “It’s worth a shot,” he said quietly. “But if she says no, that’s it. It’s done.”

“Got it, boss,” Monica said. “I’m gonna go call Rob.”

******************************************************************************

Cassidy heaved a bag of chicken feed onto the stack on the end cap display. It was selling well, and she’d had to replenish the stack once already today. She didn’t mind working at the feed store. It smelled amazing and she knew that every hour she worked earned her a bale of hay or a bag of pellets. Gary gave her a 15% employee discount, and often threw in samples the feed company salesmen left on their rounds. Jenny was back from her maternity leave, so Cassidy wasn’t getting as many hours, but Jenny was glad to have backup in case she needed to stay home with the baby, and it was still well worth her while to keep the job. Not to mention it was a thousand times more interesting than her mind numbing job bagging at the Cash-n-Carry.

The bell tinkled above the door and she glanced up to see who was coming into the store. “Damn it,” she muttered as she saw it was Chucho. Gary was at the bank and she was alone so there was no way she could avoid him.

“Hey, Mr. Pena,” she said, “what can I do for you?”

“Well, first, you can call me Chucho,” he said, leaning casually against the counter. “We’re still neighbors after all. And second, I have a favor to ask you. Which might turn into a job for you, so hear me out.”

Cassidy stood behind the counter, arms crossed over her chest. “Go ahead,” she said warily.

“A friend of mine bought a horse. Supposed to be some really well bred stock horse from a fancy ranch in Oklahoma. Turns out he’s well bred all right, but he’s been running the range for three years and the son of a bitch is wild as a pronghorn. They had to lasso him and shoot him full of tranquilizers to get him on the trailer and my friend isn’t having any luck taming him down. They gelded him but that just knocked him out for half a day and he’s still breathing fire. Santos is ready to cut his losses and get rid of the crazy cabron but I told him I’d talk to you about trying your hand at him. If you can’t train him, he’ll end up at the slaughterhouse or getting shot for hurting someone.”

“And what’s in it for me?” Cassidy asked.

“Santos will pay training fees if you’re willing to take him on,” Chucho said. “I told him you have a good setup. There’s a transport leaving his town this week, and he can get the horse on it. They’ll drop him off at my place, since I have a cattle chute next to the main road. It’s one of those big horse vans and they can’t handle the narrower roads. I figure we can either wrestle him into my trailer to get him to your place, or pony him over like you did with Buster after he got loose. Anyway, if you’re willing to take a look at him, they’ll drop him off sometime Saturday morning. I’ll call you when he gets there and you can come over and see what you think. Santos said if you can’t take him on, I should put him in the next auction.”

Cassidy closed her eyes for a moment. The last thing she needed right now was another horse, especially a crazy one, but if this Santos was willing to pay training fees, and it would save a horse from slaughter, how could she say no? “Okay,” she said. “But just to look at the horse, Chucho. That’s all.”

Chucho held up his hands. “That’s all I’m asking for, Cassidy,” he said. “I’m just trying to help out a friend. And a horse. And a neighbor.” He held out his hand and she shook it. “Good, I’ll call you when the monster arrives.” He tipped his hat to her and walked out of the shop, the bell tinkling in his wake.

************************************************************************

Cassidy pulled her truck up under a tree in front of Chucho’s house. There was already an assortment of vehicles in the driveway, including the truck Javi had driven and a faded green minivan she’d never seen before.

Luis waved at her from where he was tinkering with the engine on Chucho’s ancient Gator. “El jefe’s in the house,” he called out. “Said to tell you to go on in and get a cup of coffee. He’s got a few phone calls to make, then he’ll take you to see el diablo.” He laughed and shook his head.

Cassidy went up the steps to the front door. She knew Chucho would tell her to come in the kitchen door, but it felt more proper to enter through the front of the house like a guest. “Hello?” she called out as she stepped inside the house. “Chucho?”

“In the kitchen,” he called out. “Come on in and help yourself to coffee. I’ve got one more call to make.”

She walked through the living room and into the kitchen. She froze as soon as she reached the doorway. “What the hell?” she stammered. Javi was sitting at the table next to Chucho.

“Now don’t get mad, Cassidy,” Chucho said. “I’m sorry I lied to you but I needed to get you over here. Javi needs to talk to you and you won’t answer the phone, so we had to do this.”

Javi was fiddling with his coffee cup, clearly nervous. “Sit down,” he said quietly.

“I’ll stand,” she replied, although she did step further into the kitchen and take the cup that Chucho held out. She didn’t want coffee but it helped to have something to do with her hands.

“Look, Cassidy,” Javi began but her attention was diverted when someone else walked into the room. She was tall, with long hair and a curvaceous figure, one that Cassidy recognized. And she was even curvier now, clearly several months pregnant.

Cassidy dropped the cup of coffee, not even pausing as it shattered against the tile floor. She ran blindly for the back door, hardly able to breathe, her legs rubbery and weak. “Cassidy!” Chucho and Javi both called but she forged ahead. She reached the back porch before her legs gave out and she collapsed into a ball on the floorboards, sobbing and whimpering. No wonder Javi wanted to talk to her. He wanted to rub it in her face. He’d not only found another woman, he was having a baby with her. They were probably getting married.

Her throat constricted until she began to panic at her inability to swallow. She felt a hand on her back, rubbing gentle circles, and once she’d calmed down marginally, she glanced over to see the woman kneeling beside her. “It’s okay, Cassidy,” she said calmly. “You’re having a panic attack. You’re going to be okay.”

“Get away from me,” she hissed. “Don’t you dare touch me!” She crumpled even further onto the floor. The last thing she wanted was Javi’s new girlfriend consoling her.

“Hey.” She heard Javi kneel down on her other side. “Don’t talk to her like that.” He laid a hesitant hand on her back, and she shook him off.

“You don’t touch me either,” she said. “And I’ll talk to that bitch anyway I want to.”

“I know you’re upset, Cass,” Javi said evenly, “but that doesn’t give you the right to talk to Monica that way. She’s just trying to help.”

“Cassidy, why are you so mad at me?” Monica asked carefully. “You don’t even know me.”

“I know enough,” Cassidy managed to spit out.

“Now, just because I’m Javier’s assistant doesn’t mean I’ll automatically take his side,” Monica went on. “Why don’t you sit up and when you’ve calmed down a bit we can start over again.”

“What the hell?” Another man had joined them on the porch. “I leave for five minutes and you knock Javi’s girl on the ground? Your methods are getting weirder and weirder, Monica.”

“Shut up, Rob,” Monica said. “Cassidy, this asshole is my husband Roberto. Just ignore him.”

“Wait. What? Your husband?” Cassidy was incredibly confused. “Oh, my god, this is worse than I thought.”

Monica helped her sit up. “I don’t understand,” she said. Javi, Chucho and Rob were all kneeling around her, looking just as confused as she was.

“You and Javi … and your husband … whose baby is it?” Cassidy managed to stammer.

“Um, Rob’s of course,” Monica said. “Wait, did you think me and Javi ..?” She started to laugh, then Rob joined in.

“I saw you,” Cassidy insisted. “I saw you in Javi’s apartment. He was smoking on the balcony. You gave him a drink and rubbed his back and took him inside.”

Javi’s brow was furrowed. “What are you talking about?”

Rob’s eyes went wide. “Wait, wait, I think I know what happened. Was this right before you left Javi the message breaking up with him?” Cassidy nodded. Rob looked smug. “The night after Andre died. Monica and I took dinner over to Javi’s place so we could make sure he was all right. And he went out on the balcony to smoke and I told Monica to take him a glass of whiskey and she did. And you were there?”

Cassidy could hardly think straight but she nodded. “I was in my truck,” she said flatly. “I’d driven up to talk to Javi and I saw him and I saw her and … I left.” She started crying and folded up, her face pressed against her knees.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Javi said as he slid his arm around her shoulders. “If you’d just talked to me.”

She shook her head. “I didn’t want to,” she said between sobs. “I thought you were cheating on me. You hadn’t been down for weeks, I was already upset because of …” She stopped herself before she blurted out something she didn’t want the others to hear. “I was upset.”

Javi pulled her against him and let her cry. She heard Chucho, Monica, and Rob go back inside. Javi didn’t say anything, he just held her. Once she was out of tears, he gently kissed her forehead. “Do you think you can come inside and hear what we have to say now?”

“We?” she stammered.

“Me and Monica and Rob,” he said softly. “We came down here with a business proposal for you. Well, for you and me. I mean, for you and my department.” He shook his head. “Just come inside and listen.” He helped her to her feet and wiped the lingering tears from her face with his thumbs. “Just hear us out and we’ll go from there.”

“Okay,” she said. “I’ll listen.”

******************************************************************************

They talked for several hours. Javi let Monica and Rob do most of the talking, content just to sit next to Cassidy. She listened attentively and asked a million questions, especially as Rob explained the requirements for forming a nonprofit. “You’ll need a mission statement, which isn’t that hard,” Rob said. “And a board of directors, but that shouldn’t be a problem. I’ll be happy to act as your financial officer, at least to start, and I’m sure we can get one of the High Society Cowgirls on board, which will give you some clout with the city. Maybe even the mayor’s niece but at least one of her friends. They’re all bored housewives looking for good deeds to do while they play with their horses.”

At one point, Chucho slid a plate of turkey sandwiches and a pitcher of sweet tea onto the table. Javi poured a glass for Cassidy and she thanked him shyly, letting her fingers brush against his as she took it from him.

Finally, Monica sat back. “So, do you want to go for it? I know it’s a huge undertaking, and we’re under a bit of a time constraint so we don’t lose funding, but it’s definitely doable.”

Cassidy looked down at the table, chewing lightly on her lower lip. After a long moment, she nodded. “Yeah, let’s do it,” she said.

Rob pumped his fist in the air, which prompted Monica to shake her head and call him a dork. Rob just shrugged. “And now,” he said, pushing back from the table, “I think it’s time for these two,” -- he pointed at Javi and Cassidy -- “to have a nice long talk and patch things up. Because I for one am sick and tired of Javi moping around all the time.” He made a shooing motion with his hands. “Go on, get out of here, go find somewhere to canoodle.”

“Canoodle, really?” Monica said. “Who are you, my grandpa?”

Javi stood up and pulled Cassidy’s chair out for her. As she got up, he couldn’t help letting his hand rest against her back for a second as he steered her toward the door. He let her walk through first and simply followed. She led him away from the house, toward her truck, which was parked in the shade.

“You probably think I’m an idiot,” she said as she unlatched the tailgate and laid it down. She hopped up to sit in the truck bed, her feet dangling over the end of the tailgate. Javi joined her.

“Not at all,” he said. “But I am curious about what triggered the whole thing. You said you were upset about something, and that made you drive to San Antonio to talk to me.” He left it at that, hoping she’d share with him but willing to let it go if she wasn’t ready.

She reached over and took his hand, sliding her fingers between his. It felt right, and Javi relaxed just a bit. She told him about the pregnancy test, her decision, and how she’d been fantasizing about things before she pulled into the parking lot and saw him and Monica on the balcony.

“I probably should have charged up there and confronted you,” she admitted. “But I was just so shattered. I … I was afraid that instead of telling you off and dumping your sorry ass, I’d end up forgiving you.” She played with his fingers. “I overreacted.”

“Not really,” Javi said, leaning back on one elbow while she kept his other hand in her lap. “I’m sure it looked really bad. And I don’t have a stellar record of fidelity.” He huffed. “I probably would have thought the same thing if I was you.”

Cassidy dropped his hand and leaned back next to him, propped up on both elbows. She idly kicked her feet in the air. “I’m sorry I doubted you,” she said softly.

“I’m sorry I didn’t make more of an effort,” Javi said.

She shook her head. “No, you made way more of an effort than I did. I didn’t want to give up anything. I wanted my independence, and you, at the same time, and that wasn’t fair to you.”

“Were you really going to rent out your place and move in with me?” he asked.

She smiled. “Yeah. I really was.” She reached over and ruffled his hair. “You need a trim.”

He frowned. Monica had said the same thing last week. Then she leaned forward and brushed her lips against his. “I missed you,” she whispered.

“I missed you, too,” he said. He shifted so he was in a more comfortable position and kissed her back, just a bit more deeply. He felt her sigh and relax against him.

“Are we good?” he asked after a long moment. “I mean, I know you want to go ahead with the move to San Antonio, starting up the nonprofit and all that, but you and me … are we okay?”

“We’re okay,” she said. “We’re good.”

The truck bed wasn’t the most comfortable place for a make out session, but they didn’t care. It was cool in the shade and the twittering of the birds overhead was soothing, so the bits of hay that worked their way inside their clothes and the hard steel ridges digging into their backs and sides weren’t much of a deterrent.

During a moment of rest, Javi smoothed her hair back from her face. “Were you really disappointed that you weren’t pregnant?” he murmured.

She closed her eyes and nodded. “Yes,” she said, as color filled her cheeks. “I was.” She opened her eyes. “I thought I’d be relieved but … I wanted a future with you, Javi. I still do.”

“We’ll have it,” he said. “I promise.”

[yuki-tsunodas]

thank u peach @astaom im so sorry i forgot abt this whoopsies

1. do you make your bed? no lol

2. favourite number? don't really have a favourite number but i like even numbers in general, if i was forced to pick a number i'd pick 20, but more often my feelings towards a number are linked to who drives with that number LOL

3. what’s your job? in 2 weeks time i will start being a uni student :') studying something in the performing arts!

4. if you could go back to school, would you? cannot say anything about uni yet but . high school was academic hell im never going back (even though i had a lot of fun)

5. can you parallel park? nope i can't even drive LOL im old enough to get a license but i have actively refused to get one because i think i would be a road hazard

6. do you think aliens are real? i have no opinions but probability says yes so i'll say yes

7. can you drive a manual car? refer to question 5 LMAO

8. guilty pleasure? uhh. genuinely idk. and if i had anything considered a guilty pleasure i dont think i would be sharing it on tumblr lol

9. tattoos? don't have any, but i'm planning to get at least one when i'm older (which is a horrifying prospect because i am deathly afraid of needles)

10. favourite colour? don't have a specific one because i feel like each colour has its own vibes, but if forced to pick probably orange green and blue (i have specific shades of orange and green in mind). im ignoring black white and brown because my art/graphic design brain doesn't switch off and those are neutrals to me

11. favourite type of music? rock (very broadly, i like fall out boy and day6 the most), kpop (i have a love hate relationship with it), whatever pop music sounds good to me (i currently really enjoy chappell roan), musical theatre

12. do you like puzzles? i like solving problems in general -- that's how i treat design and gifmaking. also i play stewardle and driverle (f1 wordle) regularly

14. favourite childhood sport? loved swimming and badminton as a kid...probably still count as a kid now so my current favourite sport to play is floorball

15. do you talk to yourself? a concerning amount. i talk so much that at least 3-4 friends have told me to start a podcast

16. tea or coffee? neither. it seems like caffeine is my enemy because anything with caffeine in it tastes bad to me LOL

17. first thing you wanted to be when growing up? pretty sure i wanted to be either a ballet dancer or an artist as a kid

18. what movies do you adore? i'm so not a movies person...but movies ive watched more than once (an achievement) are the cars series (my favourite is cars 2), og avengers (my favourite mcu movie), age of ultron and civil war. also shoutout to spirited away, ponyo and howl's moving castle for having a special place in my heart. most recent movie i've watched is how to make millions before grandma dies and it was amazing i sobbed watching it. it's a thai movie but blew up so i went to check it out and it is incredible.

not gonna tag anyone cos i got to this so late lol

[blackrevell]

3, 20, 36 and 59 for the 60 OC questions. I am ready to get text-walled (and will come back with more questions after that :aon-smirk:emoji)

We'll see how brave you'll be after this wall, my comrade ;)

3. What emotion is the hardest for them to deal with?

Boredom. As only the external stimulation runs shallow, her thinking turns inwards. If she can't pick apart a business deal/car/someone's struggle/you name it, she starts to pick herself apart. Alt is a person of objective analysis and prefers to weigh in on everything, knowing ins and outs, keeping track of negatives and positives. Yet with her twisted sense of self-worth, giving herself credit for good things is a struggle. A hungry dark void is a permanent, most loyal companion of her psyche, but as the saying goes — don't stare into it too long, or it will stare back. She needs something (or someone) to keep her internal eye away.

20. When they’re sad or upset, do they need company or some time alone?

Alt would say she needs a moment alone, but it couldn't be further from truth for the reason described in #3: staying alone with her thoughts for too long leads to her mentally devouring herself. A quiet evening with a friend or loved one by her side is good. When she doesn't have anyone for company, she goes for long drives outside the city (see, searching for external stimulus to distract her again). But if she's got the drive and the company to share it with? Perfect, she will patch herself up in no time, find solutions to your troubles, solve global problems and conquer the world.

36. Do they own items that have sentimental value?

Lots of those! For someone who strives to be a mind-over-heart person she is quite sentimental. A little box of printed photographs that she got throughout the years, starting from her times in New York; rarely looks through them though (because someone is afraid of getting into feelings too much). The key from Quadra "Nightwing", which is the only thing she got left from her treasured car. A pile of her little journals where she used to sketch people and machines (the ones she thought she'd never have the chance to actually build one day) during the quiet hours of her work at a bar. One of those journals has a lock of Kurt's hair hidden among its pages that he doesn't know she picked up when he got the bravery to shave it off. Her obsession with sunglasses is sentiment-driven too: when she had to flee New York after the Family Accident™, she stole a pair of sunglasses from a corner store stand, trying to hide herself from unwanted gazes. It was senseless in a way that it wouldn't save her from being recognized by whoever would look for her — technology is way too smart for it even nowadays — but even the most trivial thing to hide behind made her feel safer when she was essentially on the run from the entire world. Fear of being detected has been long gone, but the sunglasses remained.

59. What would they want to be remembered for?

She wouldn't want to be remembered, and neither does she believe in the concept of "being remembered". Within her philosophy, one ends with their passing, and everything left behind is a complex, ever-shifting mosaic of people's interpretations not worth any concern, since there's no control over it anyways. "There was a time when I didn't exist, and there will be a time like this again. I am a consequence of one accident, error in the code. And whenever my time comes, I will be back from 1 to 0. I lived, I made choices. But the code will run forth without me. The simplicity of life. Don't complicate it."

[versussystem2]

TM GAME TOURNAMENT MAGAZINE ANNOUNCEMENT 06 PART 01

I'm not asking someone drive a car into me. But, sitting in my house crying all day not going to solve my problems.

Announcement 1-5 Recaps Announcement 01: I try to sum up the problems in my life and the situation I'm in. At the same time, I want to point out that I'm being pressured by limited of time and funds. Also, as for me, I want to emphasis on redemption. Example: A chance to redeem myself. Announcement 02: I'm giving myself a break by letting myself talk about the past. The past memory I talked about is living with my father. Also, how his passing away have effected my life. Announcement 03: In this announcement, I want to emphasis on why I have to move on and not dwell on the past. To do this I talked the "Painful Truth" in my life. Also, in this announcement, I begin talking about my "New Schedule". Announcement 04: I'm trying to be in the same page with my surrounding by talking my early life neighborhood. I headline that section as "Rough Neighborhood". There were a lot of activities encourage that "Rough Neighborhood" to step up or show courage. Backing away or chicken out is consider a bad thing. The follow up to "Rough Neighborhood" have the headline, "X-Game In Pacific Beach". So happen during this same period of time, the "X-Game" decided to used the public parks (Belmont Parks) in my neighborhood, Pacific Beach as the location for their competition. In the "X-Game In Pacific Beach" section, I wrote about my experience about the "X-Game" including how I felt about it. In summary, I think in those early years, because I was the creator, manager (regulator), and participant of the unofficial local Empty Handed Combat establishment. Also, I won all 20 fights in those 6 years of time from 1993-1999. Could have effected my early life. Those early life memories could have effected my current status quo. The Empty Handed Combat is the main activity among those activities. The "Rough Neighborhood" activities are the reasons I want to be on the same page with my surrounding. Announcement 05: I felt that if a reader have read through Announcement1-4, then that reader would knows about some of my background. This mean I don't have to feel like the whole world is against me. And, I have lost touch with reality. So, in this announcement, I gave myself a chance to talk about how I felt about my situation. I would argued that talking about my feeling to me is not losing touch with the reality. But, what if talking about these feelings only make things worse. In addition, there is the argument "Suck It Up" or "Deny It By Discipline". In summary, this announcement taking step to see my denials. Those denials are related to my worries that people might see my situation as no hope or last resort. Also, those denials is about the problems in my life have made me in a situation of looking for supports. In addition, I'm writing the reasons why I have decided to want to write TM Game Tournament magazine.

Hard To Swallow I picture because the following writing will be too hard to swallow, the nurses would forced me to swallow the suppression pills (medication) to help me not to think too much. But, on 2013 when I was in the mental hospital, the nurses only suggested that I take the suppression pills. Those nurses didn't force me to swallow those pills. On 2014 while I was in custody, the police officers told me that only if I signed the written document to take the suppression pills. Then, those pills will be given to me. Nevertheless, I wasn't being forced to swallow those pills. This mean I should be grateful that those nurses are showing me mercy. Being an animator (writing career, Disney Studio staff, and Disneyland staff) consider as something my neighborhood doesn't dare to dream about. Going to college is arguable. What is wrong with you? Why you have such low standard? Because of the low standard argument that is why I felt that people wanted to force me to swallow the suppression pills. In the "Dirt-Cheap Survival Guide For Starving Animator" strategy guide, I have wrote my reasons to go to college. Furthermore, Coach Roaster (Men and Women Mission Bay High School Tennis Coach) and and the advance chemistry instructor, Mrs. Murry recommended that I should continue my education after high school. I didn't disagree with them. So, I decided since I didn't disagree, I would complete the GE (General Education) classes in college. Get it out of the way for argument sake. On 2003, first week of college, there is a classmate (I think her name is Elizabeth) who is in the same class as me such as Psychology 101. During lunch, she so happen to seated next to me during lunch. She told me about her goals on education after high school. I just couldn't listen to what she is saying. Example: She have set goals on going to college. As for me, going to college is arguable. So, I mumbled to myself, "It will all be over soon." Deep down, I know she is not a terrible person. She just didn't want me to fall behind and become the biggest loser. Sometime if helping a person is not helping a person, but hurting a person. I think you could forgive yourself if you speak up about it. Multiple times, I asked my older brother, Ho Hong Lam to go jogging with me on the canyon trail. On that canyon trail, you could see the the University City (UC) university campus. I would tells Ho that a classmate once told me that one day she would enrolled in UC university. As for me and Ho, it is just too difficult for us to have dream about the enrollment in UC university. But, somehow I thought if me and Ho jogged through that canyon trail enough, I might sees her again. Nevertheless, it is very confusing. It was only the first week of college. I just barely think I know her name, she would sat next to me during lunch and talked about her college goals. Weeks later she stop showing up to class. So, I assumed she have transferred to UC university. On 2005, after I got into 3 car accidents. Also, my sibling and friends have discontinued the weekly TM Game tournament routine. Without the TM Game tournament affiliation, I felt I'm being distanced away. So, I felt like I'm being distanced away from my surrounding and weighed down by the weights in my life. Because of the situation I'm in, I let myself dream a little bit for the first week of the semester by going into a Multimedia class. That class is taught by Alfonso Sballett. In the past, like I wrote in the "Dirt-Cheap Survival Guide For Starving Animator", I did have thoughts of becoming an animator. But, too discouraged to admitted about those thoughts. Also, I thought being the TV guide for my family and neighbors was the path to becomes an animator. But, taking Multimedia class could make a person officially becomes an animator.

I got lucky. So happen a few students left the class. So, a seat is open up for me.

Instructor Sballett would allow me to have extra time before class and after class on the lectures and assignments.

It don't have to be chasing impossible dream. Because Multimedia class is the requirement to becomes an animator.

Either way, I didn't dare to dream of becoming an animator. If I'm being asked why I took Multimedia class, then I would answered so I could be a freelance contractor. Throughout the classroom time, I would hope the instructor would point out that it is a very difficult dream to becomes an animator. Also, I hope that the instructor would point out that making sure your name is in the credits section. Example: If you have the main role, then you don't have to worry about your name is not in the credits. It would be too obvious to point out that I'm denying the low standard argument. I think I deny it so much. I would avoid the standard topic. Nevertheless, I'm preparing to go through the struggles on chasing dream. Example1: Going through all the painstaking hard works and struggles. At the end, it is all for nothing. Example2: As long as I keep a steady low profile of myself. Keep quiet and keep things to myself. I think people won't find out about me. After I took multiple Multimedia classes, I even took an Animation class. I would reminded myself the following: I have a lot of history in combats and sports, so I could probably get a small role in the "Motion Capture" department. Not immediately. I have to work my way for that small role. On 2008, the Mesa Multimedia Club elected me as club president. Alfonso Sballett who have been my instructor from 2005-2008 told me that having the club president position would build up my status. Karen Oven who was my instructor for multiple Multimedia classes also recommended that I should go with being elected as club president. So, I went with Instructor Alfonso's and Instructor Karen's recommendation and took the club president position. Going to college would argued as being bold. Taking Multimedia classes would argued as being very bold. Taking the club president position would argued as being very very bold. I think by this point, the argument is I have lost touch of reality. As for me, I would defend myself with I'm living with as little funds as possible. Example: I would come up with ways to cut back on the funds. The reality is being very bold would make me as a high roller. A high roller is a person who spend a lot of money. Not a person who cutting back on the funds. In other words, I'm living a contradicted life. After I got a passing grade for Animation I, I also took Animation II & III. To my surprise, I got a C grade for Animation I. But, I A grade for Animation II & III. I think the theory is after students took Animation I, those students give up on becoming animator. So, no one really care about Animation II & III. That is why I got A grade for Animation II & III. This mean I got lucky on the A grade. Nevertheless, Animation I is introductory of the different department of animation. Animation II focus on modeling character, object, and landscape. Animation III is knowing the science of animation in order to create an interactive scenario. But, I have thought of wanting to be in the "Motion Capture" department. Why did I look into so many departments? Often in the DVD extra features, the cast and crew would talk about the "Motion Capture" department. In other words, do I really have to take Animation I, II, and III to learn about "Motion Capture"? Dwelling about my past would lead to the following arguments: Argument1: A girl like Elizabeth is hard to come by. Yet, she sat right in front of me during lunch and talking about her goals for college. Argument2: Discouragement would lead to lack of confidence. In summary, I was dealing with the following problems in my life: Low standard. Low fund. Discouragement. And, contradiction.

Living With Consequences On 2013, I was send to the mental hospital. But, the nurses didn't forced me to swallow the suppression pills. Yet, I can't deny the argument that I took the Multimedia classes to become an animator. This mean I was send to the mental hospital, because of chasing after dream consequences. My redemption is to create a video game database. And, watching people live their lifes. To create the video game database, I would spend most of my time on a computer. During July 4 and Christmas, I would watch people celebrate Independence Day and Christmas holiday. Sometime it felt like sad and lonely. Especially, during the raining days. At around 9:20 PM, I would drive my car to Mission Valley Mall. I would arrived at the 24 Fitness in the mall at around 9:35-9:45 PM. The mall close at 9:00 PM. The 24 Fitness close at 10:00 PM. So, I would hurried sign-in by entering my pin into the electronic pad at the counter. Since I'm in a hurry to the shower place, so I don't pay attention to the gym trainer who is seated at the counter. At around 9:55 PM the gym trainer would announced that the place will be close in 5 minutes. I try to make it out of the shower before 9:55 to avoid getting on the way of the gym trainer closing down the place. After the shower, I would sign-out and leave the place. Even though, I sees her all the time, but I'm living with consequences. So, I don't talk to anyone. I think that is my reality. Facing reality mean I would talk to her. Self-Criticism: I am self-criticism myself about the problems in my life. I have no Feedback and Follower mean I have not been criticized before. Why am I self-criticizing myself? Denial: Do you want to hear the truth or do you want to deny the following: Your family set you up to becoming the biggest loser. In summary, please stop with the I Told You So. He haven't learn anything. He haven't tasted bitterness. As for me, I want to make up for the Self-Criticism and Denial in my life by come up with ways to not have so much Self-Criticism and Denial.

This announcement continue in Announcement 6 Part2...

[fromthedragonsdesk]

On Living in Between

It's 4 AM and I've woken up. It's too early to do anything, because everyone else is asleep. It's getting close to having to get ready for the day, but not soon enough to warrant getting fully dressed and risk getting messy. What do I do. I blink a few times and find myself drifting back to sleep.

5:20 rolls around and I'm jolted away as I hear babbling coming from the crib. I guess someone else decided it was time to wake up. May as well get up now; didn't want to take a shower last night so I better do it now. Be quiet a little longer, kiddo, and I can feed you. The water starts running and the crying starts ramping. I check the clock; 5:30. I need to get in and out of the bathroom quickly before she gets louder and shriller.

5:40. My ears burn from hearing shrieking throughout the entire shower, reminding me that someone else is getting hungrier and doesn't know how to handle it. My mind itches, but I can't scratch it because that sound just keeps going. Need to get dressed to get a bottle ready. Need to find clothing I can wear. My ears start ringing and my focus starts shattering. Can't find a matching sock. Can't find a pair of underwear. 5:45. Time's passing. My tension is rising. Can't keep searching for the right clothes. Settle for the undershirt and bathrobe.

5:47. Bottle is filled and put into the warmer. 5:55 seconds, the display reads. Cries punctuate the back of my mind. There's nothing I can do here but wait. Going back to the source would only make stress levels rise. Those cookies on the counter look tasty. What can I eat to placate the rising stress levels and dull the background pain.

Nothing. Stop myself from reaching out for the cookies. Waver for a moment. Grab the jar of peanuts. Grab something, anything to serve as a distraction. Remember that you're out of shape. Remember that you're eating too much. Remember that you're stress eating and you should not be doing this. Look at the clock. 5:52 AM. Warm enough. Get the bottle. Back into the breach.

Console the source of the cries. Hunger hurts. I understand this. All is quiet again. I close my eyes. I hear sounds of shuffling feet and high pitched questions being asked. I'm not where I usually am and that's confusing, evidently. 6:01. Everyone else is awake. I announce myself that I'm fine and everything's fine. I hear others start their day. I close my eyes. 6:07. My turn. I deposit one child with the other, who is already working on the breakfast that has been set before them. Chattering fills the room, but I can't recall what's there. I have bottles to fill to ready for the rest of the day before I have to get on the road.

Like reflex, grab the bottles and line them up. 1. 2. 3. 4. 4 ounces. 4 ounces. 3 ounces? Need to thaw more. 4 ounces and change, top off the low one. Done. Seal them, label them, order them, pack them. It's second nature; I've done this plenty of times before. 6:25. I need to get moving. Throw clothes on, they don't matter. Throw last night's dinner into my bag, it doesn't really matter. Pour coffee into a travel mug, splash of milk. It matters. Give my hugs, my goodbyes, and my well wishes and walk out the door.

It's humid, but the light from the rising sun has already filled the sky. Get in the car, get the music going, get the directions pulled up. 1 hour; it's the best I can hope for in a trip. The drive happens. 10 mph over the speed limit in the slow lane and I'm still not driving fast enough for people. I sip coffee to keep my focus. The same drive for the same years, it all blends into the background noise of life.

7:30. The office. Same monday, same faces. The motions are gone through, the check-ins are made. I sit at my desk, trying to solve last week's problems before this week gives me new ones. I relish the peace and quiet for a moment. 8:00. Another cup of coffee. I'm still not awake, or, at the very least, don't want to be awake. Meetings are on the horizon.

Meetings zip by me, again bleeding into the patchwork background noise of work. Things in progress are still in progress, and things that are broken are still broken because we can't fix them for the same reasons we couldn't fix them before. It's 10:15 and my experiments have failed. I'm hungry. It's 10:45. It's close enough to eat lunch.

10:50. Lunch is in the microwave, some people are still trickling in eating late breakfasts or getting mid morning coffee. 10:54. Lunch is out of the microwave and people are gone, again. But that's okay. I usually eat at my desk anyway, because things usually go wrong when I'm not easily findable.

Lunch is done. It's 11:05. It's been 4 hours already and I feel useless. I know what I have to do, there's plenty of things to do if I'm roadblocked on one topic. But why. It feels like for every problem I solve I just get handed two new ones with even less support, or with the same answers that prevent us from effectively resolving them. I push forward and try to make progress on some lower-priority tasks. It's 12:45 PM. I'm editing documents.

It's 1:30. I'm tracing incidents in crash logs.

It's 2:10. Code fails to compile again. Do I need to start from scratch again with a different approach?

It's 2:45. I can't do this anymore. I'm tired.

It's 3:00. Can I go home yet? It's a long drive home.

It's 3:15. It's almost time.

It's 3:25. It's close enough.

It's 3:30. I'm in the car again. The music and directions are pulled up again. An hour to drive, not bad. About the best I could hope for given the traffic.

It's 4:00. There's a lot of cars here... why?

It's 4:05. The direction updates say to stay the course. It will be 15 minutes in traffic to get through the bottleneck.

It's 4:10. The direction updates say to stay the course. It will be 14 minutes in traffic to breach the bottleneck.

It's 4:18. The direction updates say to stay the course. It will be 14 minutes in traffic to breach the bottleneck. I start to thrash impotently. There's no way on or off this stretch of highway at this point.

It's 4:20. I call the missus in an attempt to vent and at least get dinner plans sorted out. She empathizes with my frustrations, but dinner is a harder story. Dinner plan 1, shot down. Suggested meal option 2 is shot down upon suggestion. I attempt a hail mary with suggestion meal option 3, and it lands. We say our goodbyes and I check the map again. It's 4:25, and it will be 10 minutes in traffic to get past the bottleneck.

5:05 I walk in the door. The cat runs screaming to the front of the house and immediately attaches himself to my legs, the same as every other work day. I start laundry and scoop a litterbox and feed a needy feline. The missus surprises me by preparing dinner in my stead. It's 5:15 and I sit to write a post, reflecting on how the day just evaporates while I wait for the next responsibility to manage.

It's 5:48. Time to get the kids. It will be 6:20, time for us to eat dinner. It will be 7:00, time for bedtime for #2 and playtime for #1. It will be 7:30, time to start bedtime routines for #1. It will be 8:00, teeth and bathroom will be done. Time for pajamas and a hand-off. It will be 8:30, and tuck-ins will happen. It will be 8:45 and I will sit back down at this computer, the thing I've waited all day to do. It will be 9:00 and I will feel like there is a spark of life again. It will be 10:30, and maybe #2 is hungry. It will be 11:30 and I will drag myself to bed. It will be 11:45 when I look at my phone idly. It will be 11:55 when I set it down and roll over.

It will be 5:30 and I will wake up again.

[iwannarunawayandbeapirate]

i hate having to depend on unreliable public transport with no alternatives.

this morning, my bus was late. when i arrived at the train station, the train was already leaving. i had to wait twenty minutes for the next train, and it stopped for like 10-15 minutes halfway through because of an emergency on the tracks. i was late for school.

when you try to explain this kind of situation to teachers, they will tell you to just "take an earlier bus" so that this kind of thing doesn't happen. but that's not really an option for me. there's only one bus every 40 minutes, so i'd have to get up at 5:30 every morning just because there's a chance i might be late otherwise. if everything had worked correctly today, i would have arrived at school 20 minutes early. i don't have the option of going by bike because it's too far. my parents don't have time in the morning to drive me to the train station.

"take an earlier bus". let's consider that possibility. i come home at 5:00-5:30pm 2-3 times a week, and even later on wednesdays. i need to eat dinner, do my homework, and study. that's about 2 hours maybe. maybe even 2 1/2. so we're at roughly 7pm now. in order to get 8 hours of sleep, i need to be asleep by 9:30, meaning i have to go to bed at roughly 9pm because it takes a while for me to fall asleep.

that's two hours of free time. only two hours for hobbies, reading, doing stuff with my family, showering, tidying my room, whatever... and the only way for me to increase that time is by sleeping less or not doing my homework. it's not a great situation currently, either, but if i had to get up at 5:30 every morning just to get the earlier bus, my life would be basically hell.

is this the teachers' fault? no. i understand that they just want to get on with their lessons, and constantly having late students interrupting class can be very annoying. it's not the bus driver's fault, either. he didn't choose not to be on time. it's just that public transport needs to be widely available, especially in rural areas, so that it can be a viable alternative to cars.

every second train in germany is late. that's not okay! there are people, like me, who are relying on these services, and these problems are not being solved. in fact, they've gotten worse over the past few decades. on the one hand, it's great that more people are using public transportation instead of going everywhere by car. on the other hand, though, the DB (Deutsche Bahn) and other transport services have not done a good enough job at accommodating this increase in passengers.

i don't even know what i'm trying to say here. i'm just frustrated at the way all of this works. i would not have to be late if the public transport system worked like it's supposed to. thanks for reading i guess.

[grad604ethangeers]

20 Objects that are meaningful to you:

Guitar

My guitar is important to me because it is my creative outlet that has no restrictions or rules. I find music to be one of the best ways to explore my creativty in a free, open way without feeling pressure or stress. I started playing guitar when I was 13 and it has always played an important part in my life.

Amplifier

My amplifier is aesthetically one of my favourite componants to my musical setup. The vintage look and feel is beautiful to me and actually helps to drive my creativity and musical themes when I’m playing.

Loop Pedal

The loop pedal I own is probably one of the more useful pieces of technology that I own. This allows me to practice, write and perform music by myself with layers and rythem where I would otherwise need a band or collaboration with other musicians.

Painting of angel pissing

This painting was given to me on my 21st birthday by a popular NZ artist who was displaying work in my parents art gallery. It is one of my favourite pieces of art because of the loose style, use of colours and the sense of humour which really speaks to my own sense of humour.

‘Bernard’ my indoor plant

A fairly new addition to my room, Bernard has been an important part in my room feeling happier and healthier. My brother first spoke to me about how having a plant in his room helped his mental health and helped his room to feel like a better, more positive place to be. After he told me this, I adopted Bernard from a garden store and ever since I have found more love for my bedroom.

My Hei-tiki

My Hei-tiki (Maori pendant) was given to me by my auntie when I was 18 and was blessed by a Maori sculpture in my parents Art Gallery. It represents the meeting of the sea and the land, with one side being made of whale bone and the other side being made of wood.

The metal sculpture of guy playing guitar

This is one of the older items on my tallboy in my room which was given to me on my 10th birthday by my parents. It was one of the original inspirations for my to learn guitar and become a rockstar.

Watch from my grandfather

This watch is from my grandfather and was engraved with my name by him before he passed away. It has been a part of my life for over 20years and is a reminder to stay strong and connected to my family whenever I look at it.

Tim Burton poetry book

My Tim Burton poetry book really inspires my sense of humour and I read at least one poem from it a day to help keep humour on the forefront of how I view the world.

Orange Chair

Another element I got from my grandfather, this was the chair he sat in every day whilst working at his desk at home as a jeweller. I sit in it at home when I’m working on design and creativity and it helps me feel inspired and connected to my grandfather.

Car keys

My car keys represent my freedom. Having a car is one of the biggest changes I experienced in life that pushed me from feeling like a teenager to feeling like an adult. My keys help my feel free and autonomous.

Sampa the Great Vinyl

The first vinyl I ever bought, this was my introduction to Hip-Hop music and a massive diversion from the music I listened to when I was younger and the journey I went on when I turned 21 into more pop-style music.

My Apple Pencil

My Apple Pencil has been an important element in fuelling my creative outlet of art and design, allowing more ease and freedom with being creative and drawing. I use my Apple Pencil every day on my IPAD and without it, I feel almost as though I am missing a limb.

Tetris Light

This modular tetris neon light is something that I use to exercise my creativity and problem solving ability. Each element can be moved and connected in different ways to create different shapes. This helps me do a mental workout and explore different ways of connecting the same shapes to create different shapes and balance.

Football

Physical exercise is important to me and is also something I fight with and struggle to get inspired about. Football is one way I can channel my love for sport and exercise into a more accessible way to get out of the house and be active.

[nataliesnews]

I was lucky enough to get a lift down with a South African woman, Elene Segal. Many drivers are scared to drive down the desert road though I used to go down there when I had a car. She was great and we found two Palestinians who were stuck and the car had to be pushed so she got in as the driver and they managed to get the car off the path and out of our way.

A delegation of activity and Tag-Meir activists held a solidarity meeting in the afternoon at the Bedouin Jahlin tribe of Khan al-Ahmar. Two days ago, the sherif of the nearby moshav  armed with a rifle threatened an 11-year-old boy, Aiz, from Khan al-Ahmar. The child's mother who is pregnant had fallen asleep and the flock of sheep was moving away.  He chased after them and was stopped by this animal from the moshav. As is happening all over israel, the sherifs of the moshaviem and settlements  are more and more making their own rules of where Palestinians can take their herds. He claimed that the boy had gone over the imaginery line. 

We were ashamed. . The video of a Jew armed with a rifle, standing over a helpless 11-year-old boy - is a disgrace to all of us.  I wish I knew how to send the video over the email because one can hear the child crying and see how threatening the fascist is standing over him. Much as Jewish children must have feared the Nazi guards.

The security man forcibly removed Aiz's shoes to prevent him from escaping and also threatened him in Arabic while brandishing an M-16 rifle. He also threatened to shoot him if he moved. His sister and mother came to calm him and get him released but he would not let them near the boy. He was crying and terrified. For those of you on my whatsup I have sent the  linkg.

The local residents told us about the feeling of discrimination and racism in which they live. "Hundreds of meters from us, Jewish children study in a school built with shaded sports fields, our children study in dilapidated buildings with demolition orders without electricity."

The security man called the police. Needless to say they take their orders from him. A witness, a resident of Kfar Adumim active in tyring to help  the  Bedouin , came there in an attempt to solve the problem. Later during our visit he came to apologise to the sisters that he had not been able to do so . To no avail. The police arrested and handcuffed the young women, Nasreen, a 20-year-old shepherd, an education student at Jericho University. Her sister Iman, also an education student, insisted on not leaving her alone and was also arrested. They were held for hours and only released after a lawyer had got them bail for 10000 shekel. Where they got the money from heaven alone knows. These are such poor people.

The father is still recovering from an operation (heart) and could do nothing. 

We have tried to find out why the girls were arrested but there is not answer.

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We brought the boy  a new football and wished him well. Unfortunately he is evidently traumatised. He will not play football with his friends, go out in the dark or leave his family. 

We spoke to the girls. One can only imagine how this must have been for them. Living in a closed very  conservative society where they are protected and pretty much secluded to be dragged by policemen who are not known for their delicate ways......seperated from their fathers and brothers and dragged into a police station. Imagine if it had been religious girls what a fuss would be made. I of course did not photograph them which is a pity as they are so beautiful and modest in their very traditional clothing.

The people of the tribe told about the reduction of the grazing areas for their flock at the hands of the army, the police and the civil administration.

Reminder: Aiz's "big sin" was helping a female relative lead a herd of goats that, according to the security guard, crossed an imaginary border...The local residents told us about the feeling of discrimination and racism in which they live. "Hundreds of meters from us, Jewish children study in a school built with shaded sports fields, our children study in dilapidated buildings with demolition orders without electricity."

Our delegation included activists who came from all over the country: Jerusalem, Kibbutz Tzalim, Rehovot, Tzuba and the nearby village of Kfar Adumim.

The report in hebrew was written by my friend, Yael Moav, who is a great help to the tribe and we have often gone there to eat with a yong woman who makes a livelihood from it. I must admit that I am always scared as it is very steep and two people have to  help me up. 

על הבוקר סרטוני ודאו מנסרין, רועת צאן צעירה מחאן אל אחמר. כבר שנים שרועות הצאן, הנערות, נשים והילדים, מחאן אל אחמר, סובלות מהתנכלות של איש הביטחון מכפר אדומים. כאשר הן יכולות, לבקשנו הן מצלמות את ההתנכלויות. היום היה אירוע חמור במיוחד. איש הביטחון תפס ילד צעיר בשטחי המרעה ועיכב אותו. נשים והנערות הנסערות עשו הכל כדי שיניח לילד, הממרר בבכי ואחוז בהלה. שפה משותפת אין בין בין. ברוחות שהתלהטו, התפתחה מהומה, חלקה אלימה ואיש הבטחון זימן משטרה. עד תושב כפר אדומים פעיל בידי הגהאלין הגיע לשם בניסיון לפתור את הבעיה. ללא הועיל. השוטרים עזקו את נסרין, רועת צאן בת 20, סטודנטית לחינוך באוניברסיטת יריחו. אחותה אימאן גם היא סטודנטית לחינוך התעקשה לא להשאירה לבד ונעצרה היא גם. נוכחותו של הפעיל שלנו שבא להגן על "הרשות המסוכנות" לא עזרה. נכון לעכשיו שתי נשים צעירות, האמיצות כל כך, במעצר. לא ידעתי לנו מתי ישתחררו. האמא נמצאת בחרדה גדולה, האבא, אבו חמיס, ראש הקהילה שרק השתחרר מניתוח מעקפים אחרי התקף לב קשה, לא במצב לא קל. חשוב לציין חשיבות התקיים רחוקה מגדר הביטחון של כפר אדומים. בברור שעשינו יתכן שהסיבה למעצר היא חוסר נכונות להזדהות, איך יזדהו כשהן דוברות רק ערבית והשוטרים רק עברית? המצב הזה חייב להסתיים, יש לאפשר לרועות הצאן הבדואיות לצאת לרעה בביטחון. למי נפנה? אולי לשר לביטחון פנים?? אז במקום לרגע היום, לנוח מהטיסה, לעכל חוויות ולעשות כבידה וסדר אני רוצה להיות שם החברות שלי. עוד על שיתוף הפוסט . Sent from my iPhone