#but don’t make me feel ashamed about it bc it’s not gonna work <3< /div>
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gregmarriage · 1 year ago
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one thing about me, is that if i’m your friend, i’m your friend. if i like you, i like you. if i love you, i love you. i’m all in. and sometimes, i’ve worried i’m too intense. but the thing is, i just wanna be real and genuine from the get go. i’m not sorry, and i’m not ever gonna be.
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ace-touya · 9 months ago
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Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...
OH NO it’s gonna be so hard to pick just ten- I think I’ll have to just do anime ones so I can narrow it down for myself
Dabi/Touya Todoroki
I have several analyses on this man so if you want my full thoughts look for those I cannot talk about every reason I adore this man right now. Bottom line? He’s incredibly relatable to me and also I feel so many things whenever he is on screen.
Tomura Shigaraki/Tenko Shimura
Shoutout to my sister because I don’t think he’d be this high if not for her love for him tbh. I do adore him tho he is literally everything to me (can’t beat Dabi tho) I just want to give him a hug
Megumi Fushiguro
Another really relatable one for me, he gets bonus points because he’s similar to Dabi (I’m working on a Venn diagram) but he’s so sweet and nobody understands him like I do. I’m more obsessed with Megumi than Sukuna is
Satoru Gojo
AKBDKSNDKSNDKSBX. The wounds are fresh with this man bc I just watched JJK 0. I had mixed feelings about him when I started JJK but I started loving him rlly fast. He’s incredibly relatable also. He’s lower than the others just because I do not understand this guy for the life of me. I love that about him tho, he’s such a weird dude
Himiko Toga
This girl deserves the world. I’d like to formally apologise on behalf of all anime girls that this is the first one on my list and she’s so far down, I’m ashamed of myself. She’s like top 3 for MHA tho so it’s okay. I think. ANYWAY I think the idea of people not understanding the way that you love is just so real and it makes me want to cry.
Katsuki Bakugo
His character development is literally?? So good?? And again there’s a lot of relatability with him. He’s similar to Dabi so that’s bonus points and he’s one of my friends’ faves so that’s also bonus points. I hate to admit that he’s lower down because of the fandom more than anything else
Ochaco Uraraka
SHE IS THE WORLD. Ochaco they could never make me hate you, I’m an Ochaco defender for life because I don’t care what anyone says, she is an incredibly well-written and fleshed out character and she is not just ‘In love with Izuku’ and I’m saying that as someone who ships Izuocha
Kyouka Jiro
Most of my love for her comes from my headcanons because we simply don’t get enough of her in canon. But she reminds me a lot of my best friend which probably plays a role in my adoration of her and everything she does.
Junpei Yoshino
In such a short amount of time this baby stole my heart. I’ve never fallen in love with a character in such a little amount of content. But I relate to him immensely and he deserves so much better than what he got.
The way this is just JJK and MHA- I promise I have watched other anime I just haven’t hyperfixated on them as much as JJK and MHA
This was impossible for me so here are some honourable mentions: Yuji Itadori, Ai Enma, Momo Yaoyorozu, Rin Okumura, Suguru Geto, Kazuho Haneyama, Hizashi Yamada, Oboro Shirakumo, Maki Zenin, Toge Inumaki, Hodaka Morishima, Mitsuha Miyamizu, Taki Tachibana, Hina Amano
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thefroggypond · 1 year ago
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woe. peter vi thoughts be upon ye
he’s a lil silly guy i love him a lot
should i format this better? yeah. am i going to? absolutely not
these are very rushed and rambly because i’m doing them instead of getting ready for work
i’m a member of the “peter vi has bad back/joint problems” club. just bc it makes sense?? and i have bad knees and a bad elbow so he’s like me fr :3 i also feel like he has migraines. he’s just not having a good time he’s like the embodiment of “fuck it we ball”
autism + adhd combo. (just like me fr) he likes fidget toys bc they help him focus and also totally has a collection of plushies. just because. he’s not really ashamed of having ‘childish’ interests because they make him happy and that’s really all that matters to him. to go along with this he gets overwhelmed & overstimulated pretty easy. just because my guy has a tendency to overwork and forgets to eat & sleep at normal times. he’s just a. guy
idk if this has been made a thing but! i think about his mask a whole lot. like yeah sure it’s for Hiding Face purposes in my mind but also. i think his eyesight is pretty bad, and thanks to some fun science shit the mask helps him see better. it also somehow helps with headaches and all that. i don’t know how or why it just Does
he’s normally a very. chill and happy guy. like if he gets stressed or upset most people that don’t know him too well don’t see that. if you’ve known him for as long as some people have, you can tell.
he will Absolutely defend people when they need him to though. i have this random hc that the walters all have some knowledge of self defense.
he’s a pretty scrawny guy but strong enough that he can lift heavy stuff, but also can absolutely bowl someone under the table. he doesn’t like fighting but. he so will if he has to. this came from him beating people up in some of my oc’s lore :3 he will Attack if you hurt his family. he so will
obviously he’s So Smart. but also is such a Dumbass at the same time. he’s just silly. does scientific miracles but can’t remember his phone number
bro sleeptalks. not in a cryptic “we’re all gonna die” way but in the silly “did i just wheat??” kind of way. he just Says Shit in his sleep and has no recollection of it
but yeah i think i’ve rambled for long enough. so i hope you liked these?? idk. my first time sharing hcs to tumblr :3 i promise my thoughts aren’t always this disorganized
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igbylicious · 8 months ago
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ISAK I APPRECIAT EYOU SO MUCH AHHHHHHHHHH (°◡°♡) i’m just SO asdlkjasdkjads that you enjoyed this one; it wouldn’t be here without you! (⁀ᗢ⁀)
oh my god. youre just RIGHT out of the gate with little spoon Woo, with pretty marks on his neck?? im gonna die i think.
taking no prisoners! >:3c and heck yeah i wanted reader to be STRONK for this one, gonna need that strength to train the pup! uwu
(i mean i’d argue that if there EVER was a time you should be barking, it’s in the werewolf au V^ᴥ^V )
human wooyoung cuddling wolf reader, that's so cute ;o; he's so trusting and sweet aaaa!!! i'm imagining these wolves being way bigger than humans but, idk if you intended it that way, but it makes it cuter to me, this and the turning ceremony as well. he is just a smol helpless hoomin..
asdkjadsjk huge wolf smoll human is exactly what i had in mind!!! and yeah Wooyoung fell right into the pack just like that, no hesitation ;; he knew he’d found his place, his people ;;;;
oH SAME WHAT THE HECK im T AT i know it's ~consensual~ and all but the mental image of him crying out in pain hurts so much
NO BUT I WINCED FOR REAL WHILE WRITING THAT ASDKJASKJ (ಡ‸ಡ) i wanted to give some weight to the fact that like, hey, these wolves could genuinely harm him if they wanted to (but they don’t), but gah it hurt!!!
MOBIUS STRIP MENTION!!!!! one of the most ateez objects of all time <3
asdkjdasjka i’ve been looking for a good excuse to drop in a mobius strip metaphor for ages & it FINALLY happened asdjkasdjkasd whoo!!! ٩(◕‿◕)۶
-tries really hard not to think about the two of them having hot werewolf sex with reader for the first time-
lol Hongjoong was prob even squirmier than Woo! :3 goddddd i go forever back-and-forth between subby blushy whimpery Yeosang or feral hard dom tho asdkjasdjkads not that he’s stronger than the alpha but they’d have fun giving each other a challenge >:3
You can't help but put San in situations™ can you? <3
NO BUT IT IS A COMPULSION FOR REAL ASKDJADSJK ♡ San is just perfectly situation™-shaped i gotta smush him in one!!!
aaaa this whole paragraph!! it has the vibes of that trope where supernatural creatures that have to consciously will a glamour spell to keep working to hide smht they're ashamed of, and then it fails bc they're so needy (but also they barely even register it bc theyre so wrecked). imagining him with glowing yellow eyes with vertical pupils, the ""monstrousness"" of them a sharp contrast to his pleading expression. i love it when ""monsters"" beg and whimper <3
I LOVE THAT TROPE SO HECKEN MUCH ASDKJADSJKASDJK and oh god YES the begging! the whimpering!!! it’s just so gooooood, the subversion of smth that is usually depicted as a powerful, unbreakable creature getting broken down!!! (っ˘ڡ˘ς) (lovingly, in this case uwu)
my inner wooyoung: isn't it always? u_u
lol fair point!!! :3
auuuugh he was tearing up when he knotted!! :(((( (affectionate) that's the cutest, it's so good how he's just completely overwhelmed. him licking at the mating bite even though he's so exhausted TAT <3333 he's the sweetest best mate and boy
i got sooooo soft for this Wooyoung writing those parts askdjadskj! he’s just feeling a LOT but still wants to reciprocate the care his alpha gives him ;; ♡
bahaha ofc <3
i had to make him a lil guy! just a lovable lil runt hehe~ ♡
hnshfhfnf not him attacking jongho, of course he would
fun fact Jongho is the only wolf stronger than the alpha, in strict terms of pure strength, so Woo knew exactly what he was doing picking him as his target lol (:3 」∠) and yessssss, Hwa may not be the group’s alpha but he IS still the group’s mom! (♡˙ ︶ ˙♡)
NOW if you'll excuse me, i gotta go think for a really long time about his 7 other matings.
Woo is in for it for sure!!! >:3 plus i imagine that the longer it takes for the others to get their turn, the more impatient and frenetic they will be during the mating asdkjasdjka so those rituals are not gonna get any less intense! ฅV>ᴥ<Vฅ
no but fr, your ability to perfectly portray Woo's rambunctious, easy going nature is so good T_T <3
asdjkasdjksd but ahhhh seriously it never fails to make me giddy as heck when ppl like the way i write Woo („ಡωಡ„)♡ i just love him a lot and wanna do justice by him ;;
REALLY I AM SO STOKED YOU ENJOYED IT ISAK AHHHHHHHHH AND TYSM FOR ONCE AGAIN BEING SO GENEROUS W/ YOUR COMMENTS ASKDJASDJKASDJK ;; ♡
marked [jwy x reader]
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pairing: Wooyoung x gn afab reader (briefly feat. Yunho & background poly ot8)
rating: 18+
genre: smut, fluff, werewolf AU, found family
summary: Wooyoung is the newest member of your pack, and under tonight’s full moon you will claim him as your mate. (OR: Wooyoung knots for the very first time and you fuck him through it 👀)
wc: 8.1k
warnings: sub Wooyoung, dom alpha reader, reader is physically stronger than Wooyoung, predator / prey play, knotting, breeding kink, dacryphilia, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, unprotected vaginal sex, creampies, stomach bulge / cum inflation, biting & marking (w/ light blood mention), cunnilingus, face-sitting, cum eating, reader has a mild possessive streak, implied m x m, Wooyoung is called ‘good boy’ & ‘pup’, a sprinkling of hurt / comfort
a/n: @wooyoungisbaby asked me if i would turn Wooyoung into a werewolf & then i blacked out and suddenly there were 8k of words on my screen ฅV•̀ᴥ•́Vฅ
a/n²: idk how to put this in the warnings but werewolves have an estrous reproductive cycle in this fic, and there is an off-hand mention that the reader is not currently fertile. just to balance out my own ‘love breeding kink, squicked by pregnancy’ conundrum ^^
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Sunlight trickles through the cherry trees overhead, a light canopy of pastel pinks looking down on you and Wooyoung. The gentle sunlight warms you with the glow of spring, a blossom swirling down the breeze to land right on Wooyoung’s nose.
He barely even notices, too busy fussing in your embrace. You’re curled up against his back, and your arms have him pulled into your chest, legs tangled together. There is a blooming tapestry of red marks on his neck; gentle indents of your teeth, slow bruises sucked into his delicate skin.
You blow the cherry blossom off his nose with a giggle, and the pink petal flutters down into the grass, luscious green brimming with white and yellow daisies. The flowers give off a pleasantly sweet waft but you are not interested in floral aromas, only in the alluring scent radiating from Wooyoung’s heated body.
You burrow your face into the crook of his neck, breathing in deep as Wooyoung whines in your hold.
“Easy, pup,” you coo at him, and lightly pinch his waist in warning. “Don’t want to wear yourself out before tonight, do you?”
“I won’t, I won’t,” he says, wiggling in your arms. He hisses when your teeth sink into the tender skin of his neck again, the noise morphing into a breathy, pitched moan as you lap at the bite. “Just wanna play…”
You giggle at his protests; Wooyoung is easily the most rambunctious pup you have ever dealt with.
Sometimes you find it most effective to fuck the misbehaviour out of him, to burn off all his frenzied energy as you ride him — or to make him wear himself out on your cunt, your fingers tightly wrapped in his hair as you hold him down, his mouth eager to please.
But sometimes, that feels like just a bit too much of a reward for his mischievous ways.
For those moments, you prefer your current strategy; to force Wooyoung into a cuddle, spooning him as you playfully gnaw on his neck and shoulder. If you hold him down long enough, his endless squirming will tire him out just the same as any other method. Wooyoung might be energetic — but he is a young pup, turned only four weeks ago, whereas you are a born wolf, and he cannot stand up against your superior strength.
It’s hard to believe he has been in your life for barely a year; Wooyoung was all alone in the world when you stumbled on him during a hunt; a lonely, pitiful creature with no-one else to turn to. Your wolf had demanded for you to grant him protection and you listened, never led astray by your canine instincts. You brought him into the pack, where your mates welcomed him with open arms.
At first, it was just a visit; so he could catch his breath, rest up and decide what to do next. But when Wooyoung decided to extend his stay indefinitely, he soon decided he wanted to be turned as well.
(If there’s one thing you quickly learned about Wooyoung, it’s that he never does things halfway. It was you and your mates who talked him into waiting for a while, until he was absolutely sure, but Wooyoung never wavered.)
You were the one to do the honours, pinning him down under the light of the full moon, your seven mates surrounding you in a wide circle. Wooyoung had seen you in wolf form before; he’d even napped while curled up against your huge lycan body, engulfed in dark fur — but it was never like this, never with your jaws snapping right in his face, clawed paws heavy on his chest as your scorching breaths fell down on his vulnerable, tiny figure. You were careful not to crush him, of course, but he needed to keep still; no matter how willing he was, a human’s instinct runs deep when a predator’s maw closes around their weak flesh.
Wooyoung was not immune to those instincts, and your chest ached when he cried out in pain at your bite. His hands pushed uselessly against your head, but you are strong even for a wolf; and the limited capacities of his fragile human body stood no chance against you at the height of your power, basking in moonlight.
You had lapped at his wound afterwards, easing him through his shakes as your saliva mixed with his blood, broken skin mending under your raspy tongue into a darkened scar as the first seed of his transformation took hold.
For four weeks now, Wooyoung’s body has been changing under the surface. It comes with restless agitation, giving him more energy and stamina than he knows what to do with, yet the process is also exhausting; a slow adjustment to his heightened senses, stronger muscles, an increased sensitivity to the presence of others — your presence especially, as the one who turned him.
And tonight is an important stage in Wooyoung’s lycan life; the next full moon. His first complete transformation, catalysed by the moon’s bright luminescence.
The reshaping of his human body into a wolf is a symbolic milestone, but it will also unlock Wooyoung’s full potential, allowing him to grow into his full strength. With time, he will even learn to transform regardless of the night sky — though only few werewolves are powerful enough to deny a full moon.
(You are, but you see little reason to ever deny the celestial body that has given you so much.)
Now, lazing in the sun together, you lap at the scar you left on Wooyoung’s skin that night. All your other bites always heal rapidly but this one lingers, and always will. You are eager for tonight, when you get to add a second permanent mark to him. To imprint on him as your mate.
Your neck and shoulders are already littered with the seven bites of your other mates, binding their spirits to yours, but there is always room for one more; especially if that one more is your Wooyoung, your playful, mischievous pup whose sensitive heart bursts with love and easy affection.
Of course, you have laid with Wooyoung long before tonight — as have your other mates. You always needed to treat Wooyoung like glass, knowing how easily you could break him; but Wooyoung never made it easy to hold back.
Loneliness had carved a deep, dry well in his chest cavity; never realising the depths of his emptiness until you and your mates submerged him in a lake of care and devotion, replenishing his marred soul. Hungrily, Wooyoung had taken anything that you felt safe to give him, while he freely gave back all he had.
These past four weeks, you have tested his limits together, watched how they stretched further and further as Wooyoung slowly grows into his powers — and tonight, you won’t have to hold back any longer.
“Wanna play…” Wooyoung whines again, and you follow his gaze to San and Mingi, who are laughing and rough-housing by the edge of the nearby brook, just down a gentle slope of grassland.
You hesitate, not wanting to let go of Wooyoung. But… are you still holding onto him just to keep him well-behaved? Long years of sharing your mates have taught you to recognise a possessive streak when you feel one, and the resistance against releasing Wooyoung from your arms feels awfully familiar.
Maybe it’s nothing but greed; your urge to trap Wooyoung in your arms, to flood yourself in his scent, to keep his neck littered with your bites.
You had found Wooyoung, you had turned him, and a primal instinct calls out from deep within you, to always remind the others that you claimed him for his first full moon.
But from somewhere deep underneath the possessive wolf, you know very well that it would do Wooyoung good to stay bonded with your other mates — his future mates. They will respect your claim.
You tip Wooyoung’s chin, lightly pecking his lips. “Promise to save some energy for me, my sweet pup,” you smile at him, and loosen your grip.
Wooyoung perks up when you release him from your hold — but instead of immediately bolting off to San and Mingi, he turns around in your arms to dive in for a deep, heated kiss. He sucks at your bottom lip, repaying your bites with one of his own. You yelp in surprise at his sudden passion, and Wooyoung giggles at the undignified noise, his laugh bright and filled with adoration.
“I will,” he breathes between kisses. “I’ve wanted this for so long.” His lips brush against your neck and shoulders, against the seven marks that he will join tonight. “Wanna be with you. So badly.”
“But first you wanna play,” you tease him, and lightly push him away, before your possessive nature takes over and you can never let him go ever again. “Go. They’re waiting for you. Just like I will.”
Wooyoung presses one final kiss to your neck, then lets himself be pushed away and joins San and Mingi. You watch them with an odd mingle of jealousy and joy; joy to see Wooyoung’s happiness with your other mates, jealous to see them without you.
It is a familiar maze to navigate; you are no stranger to possessive urges, yet you also feel blessed beyond measure that your mates love each other as much as they love you. The two feelings are in conflict yet forever intertwined; they are less two sides of the same coin, and more the sides of the same mobius strip; inherently connected, endlessly feeding into one another.
However, you are broken out of your musings by a gentle breeze from behind you. It brings a familiar scent that effortlessly tears the mobius strip in half, halting its flow through your emotions.
You turn around to see Yunho standing underneath one of the cherry trees, a few blossoms sticking to his dark hair and a faint smile on his face as he observes how the good-natured wrestling between San, Mingi and Wooyoung has turned into a rowdy cuddle pile. Yunho notices you looking at him, and he gives you a slow nod, eyes twinkling. You reach out a hand, beckoning him closer, and his smile deepens.
Yunho’s long fingers wrap around yours, never letting go as he sits down next to you in the grass. Immediately you take advantage of his proximity, wiggling yourself between his legs to curl up against his warm chest.
Yunho chuckles at your need for touch, loosely putting his arms around your waist. It’s a stark contrast to how you held Wooyoung earlier; Yunho does not fear the loss of you, resting in the tempered confidence from years of devotion. His mark on your neck is the oldest, and your eyes flutter shut as you luxuriate in the comfort of his scent, like earthy woods and petrichor. You didn’t realise just how badly you missed the grounding familiarity of him until right this second, and you sigh out in bliss, leaning deeper into him.
For just a moment, you let go of your possessive jealousy over Wooyoung — but Yunho does not.
“Gotta admit, didn’t think I’d see you separated from Wooyoung’s side anytime this month. Especially not today,” he chuckles, rubbing a lazy hand over your waist.
A self-conscious warmth flushes under your skin. Yunho does always see you clearest. “I got a little carried away, didn’t I?”
“No more than last time,” he says, a quiet laugh rumbling in his chest. “Or any time before. Remember Hongjoong? Yeosang? We practically had to drag you off of them to give those poor guys some peace and quiet.”
“I was taking care of them!” you huff, even if you know Yunho’s right.
“And you’re taking good care of Wooyoung now,” Yunho says, and he presses a soft kiss on your temple. “I’m not saying it’s bad — I’m so happy that we have Wooyoung now, really,” he murmurs, gathering you a little closer in his arms. “But… I did miss you these last weeks. Especially knowing there won’t be a hunt tonight…”
“Oh? You think you would’ve been the one to catch me?” you tease Yunho, poking his chest. “Confident, aren’t we!”
“Think I would’ve had a good shot,” Yunho says, grin widening.
A faint heat sparks inside you at his easy confidence, bringing back memories of how he earned that confidence over and over again. “I missed you too,” you admit, feeling apologetic. You had promised to lead your mates on a chase under the full moon again soon; but through your refusal to share Wooyoung with the others, you also stopped sharing yourself. “We will make up for time after Wooyoung has settled, I swear.”
“I know we will,��� Yunho hums. “For now, keep taking care of our Wooyoung first. The pup needs you to get through tonight.”
You glance up at Wooyoung — but the first thing you see is San, who is face-down in the grass, yelping as Mingi and Wooyoung playfully got him pinned down; Wooyoung’s teeth are locked around San’s bicep while Mingi laughs, nipping at his mark on San’s neck.
“…Or maybe San is the one who needs you?” Yunho says, cocking his head at the chaos in front of him.
San laughs helplessly, resigned to his fate, until he realises they are being watched. He wheezes out a weak “help!” as he reaches out to you and Yunho, a desperate dimple poking at his cheek.
Yunho muffles a laugh with his hand, and gives you a sideways grin. “I’ll get Mingi, you handle Wooyoung?”
You grin back at Yunho. “Oh, I’ll handle him alright.”
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The day’s warmth has cooled in the hours of dusk, but there is nothing to cool the blood pulsing through your veins, running hot with canine hunger. The wolf inside you is utterly transfixed on Wooyoung; your senses are growing ever more keen as the moon bathes you in her light, and the scent of Wooyoung is almost overwhelming now. His sweetness permeates the air so thick that you can taste him on your tongue; his excitement, his impatience, his need to be taken and claimed by his alpha. By you.
Wooyoung turns his head, eyes glittering darkly as they meet yours, an agitated energy crackling around him.
This is all new to him, you remind yourself. He does not know what to do with all these untamed impulses that pound against his chest and growl in the back of his head. You will teach him, show him exactly how to control the wolf, and how to let it run free. You will show him everything.
And Wooyoung may be a predator now, but you shall devour him all the same.
You stand together at the forest’s edge, but your gaze lingers on Wooyoung’s exposed collarbones, already contemplating where to leave your mating bite. Right next to the mark of when you turned him? Or do you want to cover as many different parts of him as you can? Both options are tempting in their own ways.
For now, you simply cup the back of Wooyoung’s head and pull him close so you can kiss your first mark on him. “Remember the clearing we picked out?” you murmur, tongue darting out over the old scar tissue. “Let’s make a race of it. You get there before I do, I’ll have a nice surprise for you.”
“A surprise?” Wooyoung says, his eyes shining with eager curiosity. “You’re on.”
Without warning, he bolts deeper into the forest, giving himself a generous head’s start as he leaves you behind. Your most rambunctious pup, for sure.
You grin, pleased at the challenge he gives you.
Just to give him fairer odds, you wait a little longer. You breathe in deeply as you pull the lingering scent of Wooyoung into your lungs, and clench your muscles, feeling your lupine power in just a simple contraction. You can still hear him in the distance, twigs breaking underfoot, the rustling of the underbrush. He is getting farther now, embracing his newfound agility; perhaps even thinking he stands a chance. You lick your lips at the thought, knowing how misguided it would be… then you leap into motion, starting your pursuit.
The wolf revels in this opportunity to show off its full power, and you dart through the woods with nimble swiftness. A faint cloud-cover hangs in the sky above, but the moon still pierces through to provide ample light. You do not need it, not with your keen senses guiding you; but for Wooyoung the illumination will surely be helpful to try and beat you to the clearing.
You can smell Wooyoung’s excitement in the air; you can hear him pant for breath as he pushes his body to new limits, fevered blood rushing through him with every pump of his heart, and his eagerness to outrun you feeds right into your own thrill of the chase.
Because for you, it’s not about whether Wooyoung beats you to the clearing.
For you, it’s about the hunt.
You are not as skilled a tracker as your other mates, but you don’t need to be. You know exactly where Wooyoung is going, and he is not subtle in making his way.
It does not take you long to catch up with Wooyoung, spurred on by your need to pounce on him, to finally claim what is rightfully yours. Wooyoung does not notice your presence immediately; he may be empowered by the moon same as you, but he is not as practised at making use of his gifts.
But when he does catch sight of you, your sudden proximity goads Wooyoung’s competitive spirit to new heights, completely unaware of the fact that he is not a competitor; he is prey. You revel in his innocent, breathless laugh, the lively spark in his eyes — eyes that widen when you lunge, right at him.
There is no real force behind your tackle, just playfully grabbing onto him to fall into a tumble together — then immediately release him. Wooyoung scrambles back on his feet, staring at you with wide eyes, his heart slamming against his rib-cage. His hair is in disarray, leafs and twigs stuck in the longish strands, a light scratch across his cheek.
“What was that?” he blurts out; miffed, but not entirely displeased. His scent easily gives that away.
“Better keep running, young pup,” you warn him, a light growl edging into your voice, lips curving to expose sharpened teeth.
Something about your grin causes a skip in Wooyoung’s pulse as he finally realises the true nature of your game. His human instincts have not yet faded entirely, a small bump of fear in his throat — but it is mere background noise in the heady waft of arousal that you catch in the air. Wooyoung is excited.
However, he is also not ready to submit to you, his rebellious spirit still burning strong. “Then you better keep up, old-timer,” he says, grinning right back at you.
He gives you no chance to respond to his taunt, dashing off through the woods again. Already Wooyoung is getting faster than before, and for a moment you indulge him again, letting him believe he is pulling ahead. The clearing is nearby; you can see it in the distance, cloud-cover pulling away to bathe the area in radiant moonlight, setting the forest aglow.
Wooyoung laughs in triumph at the sight; it is cute how confident he is of victory… but not cute enough to let him have it.
Again, you tackle him to the ground — and this time, you do not give Wooyoung an easy escape. He yipes, struggling on pure impulse as you wrestle him down, rolling over the rough forest until you pin down his arms and come to a stop, right on a soft patch of moss.
He whines and instinctively tries to throw you off him, but your grip on him is too tight. He stills when you drape yourself over him, breath scorching against his neck. The vein beneath your lips throbs.
“Surprise,” you whisper, and latch onto his throat.
Wooyoung cries out, back arching as he scrambles to grab onto your shoulders, hips jerking upward. He is hard against your thigh.
You draw a shuddering breath at how he squirms against your hold, exuding dizzying arousal from his pores. Already Wooyoung’s nails begin to elongate into claws, digging through your clothes to scrape at your shoulders. You giggle at his lack of control, allowing your teeth to sharpen as you nip at his jugular.
“Not so fast, my sweetling,” you say, trailing your mouth up to his jaw. “No need to rush. Let’s have some fun first.”
He shakes his head, eyes squeezed shut as he trembles, the beast within encroaching on his lucidity. “D-don’t know if I can—”
“You can,” you growl lowly, yanking his arms down to force them against the ground. “You will listen to your alpha, pup, and it’s not your time yet.”
Wooyoung whimpers in submission, tilting his head back as the wolf retreats with its tail tucked between its legs. You lap at the exposed skin of his neck to soothe the harshness of your reprimand, but it needed to be done.
Wooyoung is such an energetic pup; better he burns some of that energy now, to make his transformation easier to control. It’ll be hard enough on him as it is, and you will do anything within your power to smoothen the process.
Just lucky for you that the best way to help Wooyoung, is exactly what your own wolf calls out for; demanding for you to ravish Wooyoung until not an inch of his skin has gone untouched, to mark him as your own. To have him sink deep inside your waiting cunt, and take everything he has to give.
You press your mouth against his in a starved kiss, tongue delving past his willing lips as you pull and tear at his clothes, encouraging him to do the same with yours. Your fingers glide over Wooyoung’s chest, his stomach, his thighs, every part of him you can reach; never stopping the slow roll of your hips into his, hot mouth swallowing every moan wrested from Wooyoung’s throat by your aggressive worship.
His muffled keening makes your blood sing, but it is not enough, not nearly enough to sate you. You tear your lips away from his and Wooyoung whines at the loss, his moans free and loud and delectable.
Your wolf growls sweetly, pleased at Wooyoung’s shameless need for you, and for a moment you simply revel in his existence, his pretty noises, the pitiful way he writhes underneath you. You admire how his tanned skin glows under the moonlight, stars dancing in the reflection of his wide, dark eyes as he stares up at you in desperate reverence.
“Hmgh, w-want— want—” he babbles, a shimmer of unshed tears joining the vibrant constellation in his eyes.
You can’t help but marvel at how fortunate you are, to have found another beautiful mate to add to your devoted family. Your fingers play over his sharp jawline, his striking features merging together into such a pretty face. The face of someone who is so generous with his love and his mischief; using both to take care of his loved ones in all the ways they need — but first needing to be tamed himself.
“Hm? What do you want, Wooyoungie?” you purr at him, pushing away the tattered remains of clothes. His cock is hot and aching against your folds, but you don’t take him inside just yet. “Behave, and I might just give it to you.”
Wooyoung makes a tearful noise, grabbing at your waist and ass with sharpened claws. “Want you,” he whines, and you hiss at how his nails scrape at your skin. He tries not to scratch at you, but Wooyoung does not know his own body right now, struggling to comprehend both his limits and full capabilities. “Please, please, need you, it— it’s too much, I can’t—”
A thin sheen of sweat sets his skin further aglow, and his addled pleas slip deep between your ribs, appealing to the softer side of your wolf — with success. Because you are not only a predator; as an alpha, you are a caretaker as well.
And, looking at your sweet pup, whose lucidity is rapidly slipping through his clawed hands, who is frenzied and disoriented from what’s happening to him; perhaps ‘behave’ is too cruel a demand to make of him right now.
Gently you peel his hands off of you, and lift them to your lips to nip at his knuckles. “Breathe, my good boy, deep breaths,” you soothe him, rolling your hips a little firmer against his cock, giving him much-needed friction. “I’ll take care of you, don’t you worry.”
Wooyoung tries to follow instructions, drawing hitched breaths — but he chokes on a wretched groan when your hand wraps around the base of his cock, and guide him as you sink down with a blissful sigh, eyes fluttering shut. Your body is pliant for him, enveloping him in wet heat, and Wooyoung gasps with sharp, staccato moans as his hips jerk, body trembling. He claws at the moss underneath, leaving deeply etched trails in the dirt.
There is a subtle elongation in his joints, the faint crackling of bones and muscle shifting underneath skin as his veins grow more prominent. You bare your teeth, snarling lowly at his wolf to back off, but you know it won’t allow itself to be repressed for much longer. It’s almost time.
You rest your hands on Wooyoung’s chest to give yourself leverage, and start to move.
Wooyoung’s whines grow more animalistic by the second as you ride him hard and fast. He bucks up to meet your every thrust, pouring all his aggression into the slam of his hips. Your cunt twitches around his cock as he hits deep inside, a pleased growl rumbling inside your chest.
The forest is quiet around you, nothing but a soft rush of wind and rustling leafs; its inhabitants know better than to come near two wolves in their moon’s heat. Nothing except the sharp sounds of skin slapping against skin, of raspy moans and pleased snarls.
The heady smell of sweat and arousal mingles with the freshness of the woods, gentle moss and sweet blossoms. Slick leaks down your thighs and onto Wooyoung’s pelvis, and your own instincts become harder and harder to ignore with Wooyoung laying right there underneath you, flushed and splayed out over the forest ground with the vulnerable column of his neck beckoning for your attention. It’s too early for that, but still you drape yourself over him, slating your mouth over his in something that can’t decide whether it’s a bite or a kiss.
Wooyoung groans against your lips, so tightly wired he might snap at any moment. He is beyond desperate for a quick release of tension and you do your best to provide, relentless as you hump into his lap. His cock drags against your clit with every swerve of your hips, your thoughts becoming hazier with every spike of heat Wooyoung sends through you.
Unable to help yourself, your lips trail to his shoulder; the one unmarred by your other bite from turning him. You lap at the skin, exploratory grazes of your teeth as you kiss and suckle at Wooyoung until this side of his neck is completely reddened with bruises and faint teethmarks.
Wooyoung whimpers and snarls, his clawed hands back on your waist as he convulses underneath, the mounting pleasure just as overwhelming as his primal instincts. His skin is feverish, same as yours, sweat-slicked bodies coiled around one another, muscles rippling under the moonlight with brutal stamina.
Suddenly Wooyoung’s noises rise in pitch, and you can feel it before he can even slur the words out, tongue lolling in his mouth.
“F-fuck, it’s— It’s happening— I’m— I— mngh, ahh—”
He swells inside you and Wooyoung stutters out a broken cry when, for the first time in his life, his knot grows.
His jaw falls slack, voice stuck in his throat and tears brimming on his lashes. You tighten around him, hips forced to a halt by the swollen tissue at the base of Wooyoung’s cock, keeping him locked inside you as he shudders and floods your throbbing walls with white heat.
It’s enough to send you over the edge with him, his knot stretching you out and pressing just right against your sensitive bundle of nerves. Your vision whites out with a roar of static as your wolf slips out just a little further, and you sink your sharp teeth into soft flesh, breaking skin as you finally claim what is rightfully yours.
Wooyoung spasms underneath you, his arms trembling as he scrambles to hold onto you, every contraction of your walls draining him further.
Mindlessly, you mouth at the bleeding wound, uncaring of the metallic taste on your tongue as you encourage the skin to knit together into a scarred mark that will never fade. Your head is empty; all you know is to lap at Wooyoung’s tender neck, to grind into him with your limited movement, every instinct crying out to chase down your pleasure, demanding for Wooyoung to surrender all he has to you.
The predatorial haze takes over, and you don’t snap out of it until you taste a faint whiff of distress in Wooyoung’s whimpers.
“Ngh, ‘s too much— Ah, ahhhh, Alpha…” he calls weakly for you, his instincts in conflict with itself; the wolf needs to buck into you until his knot softens and he has nothing left to give — but those final remnants of the human still linger, desperate and overwhelmed by his own body’s hunger.
His distress shakes you out of your daze, leaving you to feel oddly unsatisfied and untethered. The mating is not yet finished; Wooyoung’s spirit tugs at yours but it is one-sided, incomplete. You are incomplete.
But you push your discomfort aside, knowing it is only temporary. You have been through this before; Wooyoung hasn’t. He needs you to be strong, to guide him.
You run a clawed hand through his hair and press a soft kiss on his swiftly healing mark. The bleeding has stopped already. “Do you trust me, sweet pup?” you ask, trying to sound gentle despite the roughened edge in your voice.
“Y-yeah,” Wooyoung sniffles, turning his head so he can nuzzle at your palm.
“You can do this, I know you can,” you reassure him, your thumb brushing over his cheekbone. “Been doing so well, my good boy, need you to be strong for me just a little longer.”
He nods shakily. “Oh-okay, hmnh, I trust you…”
Affection bubbles warmly in your chest, watching how Wooyoung tries to blink away his tears. Despite himself, he can’t stop his shallow rutting up into your cunt; his wolf knows he has yet more to give, won’t let him rest until he has spilled all his seed in your womb, safely stuffed inside by his knot.
There is no stopping this, and so you take him through it, as gentle as your canine impulses will allow; leading his confused body to pleasure with your hands and your mouth on his body, wherever you can reach, wherever makes him feel good.
Wooyoung follows easily, and soon his gasps and whimpers are sweet to your ears again; his body no longer confused. You stop holding back, sucking at his throat and clenching around his cock until he cums again, and again, sobbing and writhing in sublime torment as he generously fills you up, your stomach starting to distend from the sheer volume of his cum.
The shift inside him is gradual. His lupine side slowly grows louder, more demanding, until it is powerful enough to endure the onslaught on his senses. Wooyoung’s whimpers turn to low growls, gritted teeth sharpening into fangs, and a jolt of excitement sears through you.
It is time to bare your neck to him.
You tightly wrap yourself around Wooyoung and overturn the two of you, landing on your back so Wooyoung is on top of you, your legs locked around his waist with him still buried deep inside your wet cunt. Wooyoung yipes, disoriented by the sudden change, but groans deeply when you tangle a hand through his hair, yanking him to where you need him.
Wooyoung shudders as he breathes you in, mouthing at your neck and shoulders, tongue lavishing at the seven marks already there like he can taste your mates (his future mates). He never stops his shallow, clumsy rutting, grinding his pelvis hard into your clit, his knot pressed against your walls.
Your breath hollows at the constant friction, panting at how he tongues your skin, honing in on his chosen spot. Your hand tightens in his hair, pressure building in your stuffed belly.
“Do it,” you rasp, voice hoarse from exertion and your own impending transformation. “Almost there, my pup. Do it, claim me.”
Wooyoung needs no further encouragement, budding fangs sinking into your shoulder, right next to Yeosang’s mark. Euphoric pain bursts through you as he bites down, still humping mindlessly in pursuit of more, more.
You mewl as tension coils and sings through you, every sensation intensified in the heat of the joining. Entangled in body and spirit, fierce desire spilling over into one another as the mating ritual is completed with a forceful rush of ecstasy. You clench around Wooyoung as the heat washes over you, clamping down on his thick knot with a ragged moan. Wooyoung snarls into your shoulder when your walls tighten around his cock, shuddering with yet another release as you pull him into freefall with you, a weightless plunge into searing pleasure.
Wooyoung trembles above you, his body shaking violently as he twitches and spills ever deeper inside your cunt. Humming with gratification, you press his hand against the swell of your stomach, to let him feel how he has filled you up. Wooyoung groans, careful not to dig his claws into your belly, still shaking.
His fangs finally detach from your injured flesh — and he immediately collapses on top of you, worn out from the mating and from cumming inside you so many countless times.
You breathe hard, putting your arms around Wooyoung’s collapsed body. For a moment you think he has passed out completely… but then you feel his raspy tongue on your skin, tiredly lapping at the fresh bite on your shoulder to try and encourage the wound to close up and heal into his mark, binding you together. Your body does not really need Wooyoung’s help, your innate regenerative powers more practised than his own, but you still burst with fondness at his care; pushing through his exhaustion to tend to you.
(You truly are so very lucky, to have found this mate.)
Wooyoung can’t possibly have much more left in him; but his wolf is not done with him yet. You can tell clearly from his scent and, more significantly, from the way his knot has not begun to soften yet.
Your lycan instincts roar at you to keep fucking Wooyoung, to drain him completely empty so he can breed you — but you repay his kindness, tending to him first.
Carefully, you gather Wooyoung in your arms, lifting him as you get up on your feet. He whines, his trapped cock twitching tiredly at the change in position. You are a little shaky from your own exhaustion, from holding your instincts down, but Wooyoung feels light as a feather under the power of the full moon.
You carry him to a sheltered spot right at the base of a cherry tree, where blossoms slowly flutter to the ground in a gentle breeze. There you find slight cover from the moonlight, and you know he can transform here with as much comfort as is possible.
Still careful, you lay Wooyoung down to straddle him again. He is whimpering, thick tears glistening on his cheeks, and a sweet satisfaction rumbles in your chest at the sight. You bend down and indulge in the taste of his flushed, salty skin with sweeping strokes of your tongue, the wet muscle slowly elongating as the full moon’s peak draws closer.
You don’t have much time left, so you slowly continue the shallow roll of your hips, mouth trailing down his neck to suck soothingly at his fresh mark. Your hands run up and down his chest, clawed fingers lightly scratching over his dark nipples.
“We’re not done yet, my sweet,” you hum in his ear, nipping at the lobe. “Gonna take all you have to give, make you stuff me full until I’m leaking around your knot, until I’m well and bred. Wouldn’t that be perfect, hm? My little pup giving me pups of his own.”
Your estrous cycle is not in its fertile phase right now, but that makes the thought of carrying Wooyoung’s litter no less sweet. How he would dote on his little ones, spoiling them rotten when he’s not busy trying to fuck more into your womb.
The thought stirs you up as much as it does Wooyoung; he snarls through his cries, bucking his hips in a futile attempt to flip you back over. You growl back at him in challenge, daring him to try. Making him waste all his excess energy as you ride him for a few final spurts of his seed until he cums dry inside you.
Wooyoung still whines and squirms, but it’s getting weaker and weaker, and his cock finally softens. It won’t be long before his knot follows, and you shower his teary face with tender kisses during the wait. You squeeze around him just one more time, unable to resist teasing a last whine out of your new mate.
He is completely worn out, just as you intended, moaning hoarsely when his knot gradually softens, a translucent trickle escaping past it onto Wooyoung’s lap. He makes a noise between relief and regret when you let his cock slip out, grabbing at your hips to keep you close.
Fur is starting to stand on his knuckles, and you huff in amusement when you realise he is pulling your hips forward while wiggling down himself, trying to get your thighs in his face.
“Greedy pup, haven’t I tired you out enough?” you lovingly chide him, pinching his cheek. You had anticipated for increased stamina, but his vigour goes beyond your expectations; you can only imagine what waits for you as he grows and settles into his full powers in the months to come.
Wooyoung grates out a low whine, an inhuman noise while the beast encroaches further onto his mind and body. “H-hungry…”
It can do no harm, you suppose, and you are never one to tell Wooyoung ‘no’ when he wants to sate his appetites on your cunt. So you indulge, allowing him to nuzzle at your soft thighs, smearing his cheeks with sticky arousal.
Tiredly he laps at your juices and the steady trickle of seed leaking from your cunt, his hand pressed on your belly. The bulge is less prominent without his cock and knot stuffing you full, but there is still a faint swell of his cum, amplifying the curve of your stomach.
You growl lightly at the lazy swipes of his tongue, leaving tingles of pleasure in its wake that are just enough to stir arousal but not enough to lead to a final release. Your own hunger snakes its eager tendrils through your veins, and you tangle a hand in Wooyoung’s hair to steer him, his mouth on your weeping hole and nose on your swollen clit.
He groans at your unspoken demand, fingers digging into your thighs as he slurps noisily and lets you use him freely for your needs. His tongue grows thicker as it elongates inside your velvet heat, and your grip on Wooyoung’s hair tightens with a sharp moan at the coarser texture against your walls, plunging as deep as it can reach.
You shudder and snarl, eyes squeezed shut in the chase for another high, closing in on your quarry with ease. Heat spikes in your core and fresh slick gushes onto Wooyoung’s long tongue as your thighs clench around him, like jaws snapping around their prey.
Panting hard, you ride it out against Wooyoung’s eager face, nudging his nose against your clit — but then the full moon reaches her highest point in the night sky, and Wooyoung cannot deny her any longer, even if you tried to keep him in line. But you don’t try, instead heeding the moon’s call same as him.
You shake off the unsteadiness from your orgasm best you can, and lift yourself off Wooyoung’s face to turn him around onto his elbows and knees, from where he claws at the moss and dirt around him, carving deep gashes into the dirt as his muscles and bones stretch and reshape themselves with loud, visceral noises.
Wooyoung is completely exhausted, so fucked out that he has barely any strength to fight the transformation; no human resistance left in him to make the process more painful and drawn out. Still, you hastily shift into your own wolf form, changes rippling through your body with a swift smoothness from countless moons of experience. It comes as natural to you as breathing, the enormous hulking mass of your canine body as familiar as your human shape.
You use your massive bulk to tower over Wooyoung, mounting his convulsing body to keep him restrained. Your maw gently but firmly closes around the nape of Wooyoung’s neck to calm him, partially shifted and covered with dark fur.
He spits out yowls and other animalistic noises as he changes underneath your, scrambling for purchase as hands and feet make place for clumsy paws. Wooyoung’s body swells in size, pushing against your larger form, but you stay firmly mounted until Wooyoung has completely slipped into his wolf and his shakes have subsided, slowly quieting down.
A hush falls over the forest in the wake of Wooyoung’s very first transformation.
Even you find yourself struck with awe as you clamber off of him, recognising the honour of being his witness. His crumpled form still breathes heavily, and you nudge your muzzle at his chest to help him upright, steadying him on his four legs.
Your sharp eyes take in his appearance with wonderment and admiration. Wooyoung is slightly undersized for a wolf, but with strong limbs and a beautiful shining coat, dark with conspicuous streaks of grey across the lines of his canine face. His eyes are a striking gold, long tongue lolling out of his mouth as he looks back at you with what you recognise to be a grin.
He yelps playfully and without further warning, roils back and pounces at you.
The following scuffle is embarrassingly short; he whines when you pin him yet again, but the sound is pleased, like he’s gotten exactly what he wanted. You huff a rumbling laugh of sorts and bend down to drag your tongue over his snout, overwhelmed with affection for your boisterous pup — no, wolf.
You throw your head back, and a deep howl echoes through the forest. Wooyoung joins you in a lupine duet, and it is not long before your other mates respond to the call with their own voices from elsewhere in the woods, knowing they have been summoned.
Mere minutes pass until they find you in the clearing, small groups of twos and three emerging from the cover of the forest.
You watch how they approach Wooyoung and sniff at each other; your mates are meeting Wooyoung for the first time all over again, while Wooyoung perceives them in greater depth, enriched by his wolf’s perspective.
Wooyoung basks in the attention, ears perked up and tail wagging adorably; your pup may have grown into a wolf, but he is not quite a predator yet. Seonghwa takes the last turn to reacquaint himself with Wooyoung, and immediately tries to groom his future mate, nipping at his fur — but Wooyoung has no patience to keep still, his energy renewed and bursting at the seams from his metamorphosis.
He slips away from Seonghwa and decides to test his newfound powers again with another playful pounce — targeting Jongho this time. Jongho, among the very strongest in the pack, predictably snorts and bucks Wooyoung off him with ease, retaliating within the blink of an eye.
Just like that, you and your mates spent the night together with playfights and chases, with long peaceful interludes where you are curled up against each other in a large pile of paws and fangs and fur, napping and grooming one another. You do not nap however, tireless under the moon and from the exhilaration of your new connection to Wooyoung, who whines affectionately as you lick at his face and lock your jaws gently around his muzzle.
As the night draws to a close, you lead Wooyoung away from your other mates, who seem to instinctively understand your needs. They let you have this one last selfish impulse, to keep Wooyoung for yourself again when he changes back.
You lay pressed together in the grass at the edge of the forest, blossoms scattered around you, watching the sun come up in the distance after the moon has shied away.
The transformation back to one’s human side is much easier, especially after a fulfilling night like this. The wolves have been sated, willing to rest until they are called upon again. It’s not long before Wooyoung’s naked human form rests next to you, half draped over your own body as he nuzzles at the fresh mark on the junction between your neck and shoulder.
“Are you alright, my pup?” you hum at him, gently carding your fingers through his dishevelled hair. Your skin tingles at the press of his lips against his bite.
“‘M not a pup anymore,” he mumbles against your shoulder, childishly petulant but, strictly speaking, not wrong either.
You breathe out a laugh at his grousing. “Of course, you big strong wolf,” you tease him, “but you are still my good boy, right?”
Wooyoung raises his head, dark eyes glittering in the budding sunlight with an unexpected solemnity in his expression. “Always,” he says, and rubs his nose against yours. “That’s what this means, right? I never have to leave now?”
You swallow down a sudden lump in your throat, resolving yourself to never stop pouring your care and affection into the deep well of Wooyoung’s heart. To make sure he never feels the need to ask that question ever again.
“You could have stayed no matter what. This pack is your home now, whether you are our mate or not,” you press on him, foreheads touching, “…but no, you never have to leave.”
Wooyoung’s worry fades at your reassurance — and makes way for a crooked grin as he cheekily bites his lip at you. “Would you hunt me down if I tried?”
With a good-natured growl, you flip Wooyoung onto his back and sit on his thighs, hands pushing his shoulders down. “Every single time,” you rasp. “We all would, all eight of us. You’d never stand a chance.”
Wooyoung draws a shaky breath, and you are amused to feel him twitch against your cunt. Seriously?
“All eight of you,” he sighs out, almost wistfully. “Doesn’t feel real yet, that you are my mate now. Tonight… tonight was just… yeah. Wish it never ended.” He tiredly grins up at you. “And I got seven more times waiting for me.”
He giggles, clearly not complaining about the prospect, and cranes his neck to reach up for a light kiss. You meet his lips halfway, deepening the kiss with just a touch of possessiveness at the mention of the other mating rituals.
It’s that inherent contradiction once again; even if your possessive streak is fading now that your mating bite clearly stands out against Wooyoung’s skin, a faint echo still rings through you, urging you to keep him to yourself — but you also revel at the prospect of witnessing how Wooyoung accumulates seven other marks next to yours, tightening his bonds into your family until you are one great whole.
It’s the latter emotion that asserts its dominance right now, your wolf humming contently at the thought of you and your family engulfing Wooyoung with such fierce devotion that he will always know that he belongs.
“Seven times,” you promise him in a hush, pecking his lips again, “and then a lifetime more to come.”
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mrsman · 2 years ago
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I don’t hate peter I hate how much he hurts me I wish I could make him feel what I feel of being rejected and abandoned so maybe he’d stop doing it to me but he theoretically knows and it’s a waste of time
I’m bidding for attention I won’t even get bc I blocked him on here so what is my issue what’s my damage well if he finds a way around it to see it then why stalk to that degree but not be with me it doesn’t click to me doesn’t make sense it infuriates me I just want to be loved why be so obsessed but not present so I set traps like a child
I am being childish I only consider one guy to be with and legit I don’t even want him I just want to feel validated that it would’ve been a good match and I wasn’t crazy for liking him and it wasn’t okay for those people to shame me for having the feelings that I had I’m so tired of feeling ashamed of my romantic feelings why can’t I love someone in peace why does it always have to be this way so desperate and shameful
Why do I have to carry this burden not only am I “too perfect” for the person I want to be with but he told me I’d be humiliating myself to take him back so I feel humiliated and I expect people to agree but no one does my therapist my friends my family all support me and say it’s okay and I’m brave to want to forgive him and continue but he doesn’t see it that way I guess and I can’t know different he doesn’t tell me different I was too chicken shit to acknowledge anything I felt we spoke about “in the spirit” and he responded in kind and I read rejection
I wanted him to forgo my words and show me some kind of movement some kind of change some kind of desire and he offers me closure instead it was like he twisted everything I said to fit his agenda yet again he wasn’t listening if the reality is that we are so connected and talking to one another then why is he still not listening to me I don’t want to yell and get closure by having you leave again I don’t want this door closed you want it closed stop asking me to close it because when I tried you refused and stuck your foot in the door that was you
You won’t let go now but you’re still not around and every day the space you used to occupy grows wider and gnaws at me it’s supposed to get easier right no it gets harder and more acutely painful more precise cuts in the gut and heart I am struggling so much without you but you don’t want to be here or you’d be here am i wrong about that? I even unblocked your number I don’t know why I prayed and God said it so I did it but that’s it and now what
I’m giving up on giving up I guess I’m just leaving the door open you don’t have to lunge for it or put your foot in it it’s open come whenever you like you have my permission I don’t want to care and try to control anymore but I have to care just not control and I’m struggling this is some of the hardest shit I’ve ever had to do and it irks me that I’m getting no foreseeable reward or relationship it’s like the echos are there like yea yea you love me it’ll work out but who can really say sure God and your dad and Alex and my mom and Susan but I can’t conceptualize it and I’m struggling so much
Everything is so difficult I don’t know how people go from being with their one the one the person made for them and just stop loving them or at least put the love away and move forward how do they do that I can’t figure it out and I don’t want to either I just want to protect myself by understanding at least that I’m not being stubborn I’m just genuinely doing what I’m being told is right and this is right we’re gonna be together right? Right. So I guess I sit and I wait. Yes you have my permission. I don’t want to give it yet unless you’re ready and willing but I won’t know I’ll never know until you speak up so I guess I’ll put down my answer as yes sure. If God says no wait then I’ll come back and take this down or change my answer to not yet.
Until tomorrow then.
3/5
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channiesposts · 2 years ago
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bang chan nsfw alphabet
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felt like i wanted to do smth like this bc i’m stressed and sad abt life and i think writing helps me not think abt the bad things in life <3 lmk if you want this w other members, bad things are constantly happening so i’ll have enough inspiration lmaoo <3333
don’t think i’m gonna add a warning but obvi mdni!! thank u <3
a - aftercare
chan is such a softie, i am too just for him. no matter how rough he gets, he’ll make sure you’re properly cleaned up, hydrated, and calm before letting you go to sleep. this guy is the sweetest person ever, his aftercare will be reflective of that.
b - body part (their face body part of theirs & their partners)
his favorite body part of his is probably his arms or abs. he works hard on them, he’s proud of them. his fave body part on his partner would probably be…everything. idk man, i think he wouldn’t be able to choose just one part he likes about you. if anything, he’d probably say your eyes. or your ass.
c - cum (anything to do with cum)
i’m glad that everyone here makes things abt chan having a breeding kink bc that is it! i feel as if he doesn’t really care much about cum. his own, specifically. he’ll cum anywhere. and he won’t mind if he’s just cum inside you or in your mouth. he’ll still eat you out / kiss you.
d - dirty secrets
i feel like his biggest dirty “secret” is his breeding kink. he knows that it’s smth not a lot of people enjoy. i think his biggest “secret” though is that he has a special little photo album of pictures of you that he jerks off to. he’s also a big pillow guy iykyk
e - experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
i saw someone say that he isn’t necessarily experienced but i think he has a good amount of experience. not tooooo much, but he has enough experience to know what he’s doing. he’s a quick learner as well, so he’ll experiment doing something once and get the hang of it. he fs knows what he’s doing.
f - favorite position
missionary. he loves doing other positions as well, but he’ll always somehow come back to missionary. he loves just looking at you, especially when he’s fucking you just how he likes. he also does like it when you’re on top, especially in the studio.
g - goofy (are they more serious in the moment or are they more humorous)
chan has his moments. since sex is such an intimate experience, and considering how rough he can get, it’ll mostly be a bit more serious, but there are times where it’s a little more giggly.
h - hair (how well groomed are they?)
fuck it if i knew, he doesn’t really care about hair ig.
i - intimacy (how are they during the moment? romantic aspect)
this man has had casual one night stands and i stand by that! but, he does like it to be a little more romantic. he’d prefer to have an actual connection w someone but a man’s got needs.
j - jack off
busy busy people have to rely on themselves sometimes. he does it a moderate amount, especially when you’re not around.
k - kink (one or more of their kinks) ((all giving))
we’ve got the breeding kink down. feel like he’s into choking, perhaps sadism (very very slightly). feel like he’s into a bit of humiliation. he’s got a vvv dirty mouth. idk, these are the first ones to come to mind.
l - location (favorite places to do the deed)
in your apartment. he likes to take his time w u most times, so he’ll want to do it somewhere more private, where he can’t actually take his time.
m - motivation (what turns them on and gets them going?)
anything you do turns him on. i saw a post once about how chan loves manicures and painted nails and i think that’s smth that needs to be talked about more. he sees you got a manicure and immediately, no matter how ashamed he is of that though, thinks abt how your manicured hands would look around his cock. he also loves seeing you in crop tops. honestly, he gets turned on by the littlest things you do. you can look at him and he’ll want to fuck you into next week.
n - NO (something they wouldn’t do, ever)
don’t think he’s that into piss stuff. idk the name for it but we know what i mean. tbh, besides that, i don’t think there’s not much he wouldn’t be willing to try at least once. he’ll try it once, decide it’s not for him, and move on.
o - oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill)
prefers giving. he just love seeing what his mouth can do for you. he loves receiving, he loves seeing you on your knees for him, having him just the way you can. but there’s smth abt having you lay there while he’s pleasuring you. seeing your face, seeing the way you squirm, the way you chant his name over and over again. saw somebody once say he’s a pleasure dom and i will die on that hill as well.
p - pace (are they fast or rough? slow and sensual?)
he can be both. he has those days where he will be rougher, will make you call him daddy, will edge you for hours. but he also has days where he just wants to show you that he loves you. he’ll be much more gentle, constantly kissing your face, holding you, and telling you he loves you whenever he catches his breath.
q - quickie (their opinion on quickies, how often)
busy busy people have to rely on quickies sometimes. he’s always so consumed with work and the way they’ve been working, it doesn’t allow him to spend as much time with you as he would like. i don’t think he’s that into public sex, etc but he will drag you into the nearest closet or bathroom and take out his frustrations that way.
r - risks (will they experiment? do they take risks?)
definitely experiments. definitely takes risks. it def takes a couple of times to get him to fully take risks but once he gets there, he will make you dizzy w all the suggestions he has.
s - stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
he’s learned to control himself so he can cum with you, after he edged you for hours. he can last a long long time. it depends on his mood, when it comes to how many rounds he can go. some days, he’s down for one, two rounds. some days, he can go for what seems like hours and hours and hours.
t - toy (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
don’t think he has any toys he uses himself. but if you have toys, he’ll be more than happy to use them on you. won’t do a lot with them but will definitely bring them out once in a while.
u - unfair (how much they like to tease)
i live and breathe the bang chan being a tease agenda. he teases on his lives, who’s to say it doesn’t bleed into his actual life? he teases a LOTTT. sometimes it’ll be for what feels like hours, bc it probably has been. he loves edging you and will continue his teasing until he feels like you’ve had enough. or when he’s had enough and he needs to find his own release.
v - volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)
i don’t think he’ll be the loudest person but you’ll definitely hear him groan and moan a handful of times in one night. usually just heavy breathes. he knows it drives you insane when he groans right in your ear so, position permitting, he will definitely lean down to let out the loudest grown right by your ear.
w - wild card
jealousy sex with chan. i will not explain any further.
no but he isn’t the type to get jealous but the days that he does see somebody get a bit too close to you or whatever else, he will fs show you exactly how he feels during the night.
he’ll make sure you wear that pretty little butt plug while he viciously pounding into you. he’ll be saying all sorts of things under his breath before he flips you over. will take one look at you like that, spreading you apart and looking at what is his. a breathy laugh leaves his mouth.
“you really are my cockslut, aren’t you? letting me use all your holes, knowing you love every bit of it”
x - xtra piece of imagination
dirty talk with him gets a hell of a lot dirtier when he’s about to cum. will be saying all sorts of things.
“want me to fuck you full, yeah? gonna take every single bit of me. fuck, look at this baby. look at how you’re taking me in.”
y - yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
he’s in his mid 20’s so it’s calmed down a lot but it’s hard to be around you, see you looking like that, and not want to do something with you.
z - zzz (how quickly they fall asleep after)
my insomnia twin 🙌🏼 jk but i think he’d fall asleep after you fall asleep. he makes sure you’re comfortable before he even thinks about sleep. in the meantime though, he is rubbing your back and making sure you’re at ease, hydrated, and just feel good.
edit : x is originally x ray but i didn’t feel comfortable with saying how “big” he is and all that. ik my blog is all about talking abt how much of a whore i am for bang chan but i personally have a limit and i think it’s talking about how big he is. i’ve written stuff about him fucking you into next week but i really do draw the line at like “oh how big is he” or “how many veins”. i’ll talk about him being “big” when it comes to a lil drabble but other than that, nope. idk if this boundary is reasonable or not but i just can’t see myself writing about it. sorry if this disappointed you :,(
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samsvenn · 3 years ago
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Hi! Could you make a post about the DL guys being super drunk and telling their kids what actually made them fall for yui? :))
𝐒𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢 𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐬 𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐃𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐊𝐢𝐝𝐬 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐮𝐢
hello! i wrote for the sakamakis bc it wasn't specified which family to write for :) went for this format instead of a bulleted one. read this but with a lot of words being slurred and almost incomprehensible enjoy! <3
𝐒𝐡𝐮
“Heh… I guess it’d be your mom’s patience with me-? It’s not everyday you meet someone who’s willing to break a bone to make sure you’re alright. She didn’t have to do it and honestly, she should’ve done it to another guy but in the end, she put up with me and I’m glad she did.”
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“Nobody can beat your mom’s cooking so you rascals better go easy on her. I’m pretty sure your mom doesn’t wanna deal with three mini-me’s since she could barely handle one.”
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𝐑𝐞𝐢𝐣𝐢
“I suppose… Your mother’s nature to be able to forgive is what made her the only one whom I deeply love. As ashamed as I am to admit, I was not always the courteous man you see before you. My closet has some dusty skeletons, figuratively that is..!”
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 “She taught me; yes, your astute all-knowing father, that it’s okay to be true to your emotions, no matter how shameful nor embarrassing they are. In her own words: ‘There is no such thing as an emotion which you should feel sorry for having’. Ah-! No! I’m not blushing! It’s simply the drink… Yes, the drink.”
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𝐀𝐲𝐚𝐭𝐨
“...” He’s trying very hard to not comment on anything physical. Yui’s giving him the Don’t You Dare look and for now, it’s working. “Jeez… What’s with the sudden interrogation kid-? It’s impossible to think when I’m like this, y'know?”
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“..! O-Oi-! Okay! I give in! Your grandpa’s gonna kill me if he found out I made one of ya tear up. I’m not scared of some old bastard but to answer the question, it’s the way she treats me. Back in the day, lots of banging babes love your pa. But! None of them will ever come close to how your mom makes me feel, f-u-l-l  s-t-o-p.”
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𝐋𝐚𝐢𝐭�� 
“Oh my! As your father, is there someone you’re interested in? This question… Yes, it must be it-! Hm? You're simply curious?”
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"Your lovely mother made me realize something a long time ago. From time to time, I wonder what would’ve happened if my stubbornness got in the way of things. I thought that I simply wanted your mother to be with me, but one day, I realized that I couldn’t bear the thought of having another man by her side. She taught me a lot but her most important lesson was teaching me how beautiful love is. When you grow older, perhaps one day you’ll understand my words nfufu~"
"Ah-! Wait! For the sake of your poor father, don’t grow up too soon, m’kay? I don’t want some creepy guys or girls crowding you.”
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𝐊𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐨
“Your mother’s fondness to cater to me is what made her stand out. It touches me… deeply. The only person who’s come close to achieving such a feat is Teddy and we all know how oh-so dear I hold him in my heart. Granted, even I marvel at the fact that your mother managed to be on the same level as Teddy.
...Perhaps this is what love is, no? Full of surprises, full of life and full of revelations.”
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𝐒𝐮𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐮
“...Hah? How I fell for her huh?
Your mom never gave up on me. When I was young, I was rowdier than your younger brother in every sense of the word. She made sure I was never alone and promised she’d always be with me, no matter how much of a brute I was. Your dad was dumb and hell, I was more of an idiot than your Uncle Ayato. But looking at how things are now, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
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seita · 5 years ago
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— size kink headcanons 4. [hq!!]
ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs: ᴀᴏɴᴇ, ғᴜᴛᴀᴋᴜᴄʜɪ, ᴋɪᴛᴀ, ᴀᴛsᴜᴍᴜ, ᴏsᴀᴍᴜ, + sᴜɴᴀ.
⇦ blog navigation.
⇦ part 3 | part 5 ⇨
⤑ 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙨 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙙.
»»   ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ──────  ««   
-ˏ͛ date techˏ͛-  
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— takanobu aone.
≻ he has it but doesn’t know that it’s like an actual kink ≻ he’s always in awe when you take his cock because he knows he’s big ≻ you always beg him to touch your clit while he sinks his cock in ≻ and he loves it because it makes your little pussy flutter around his length ≻ he just loves that he can make you feel so good with his big cock
+
he let out a little breath as he sunk his cock in a little bit more, you had already taken half his length and were still begging for more.
“nobu...” you sighed, eyes fluttering, “touch me, please, it’s too much...”
he grunted, resting his weight on one forearm above your head to dip his other hand between your thighs. he found your clit and circled his fingers around it, feeling your walls squeeze tightly around his length.
you sighed happily, reaching up to grab onto his broad shoulders, “f-feels so good, nobu...you fill me so well...”
he finally bottomed out, resting his face in the crook of your neck as you hugged him close to you. you panted in his ear, whimpering and moaning as he continued to play with your clit until your body tensed up.
with a pleasured squeal, you came, thighs trembling around his waist as your walls gushed and spasmed.
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— kenji futakuchi.
≻ he thrives on this shit. ≻ he especially loves when it hurts ≻ it literally gives him a sick sense of pride ≻ watching you struggle to take his cock ≻ boosts his ego ≻ and he will endlessly tease you for it ≻ he knows all the right buttons to push for this kink tbh.
+
“you’re so cute trying to take all my cock,” he teases, grinning at the way your face pinches up the deeper he sinks in.
“k-kenji!” you gasp, pressing your hands against his chest when the stretch becomes too much, your instincts tell you to push him away.
“hey now, none of that,” he chuckles, batting your hands away easily, “you should be grateful when i give you my cock, you know? i make you cum so hard but you want to be all whiny and act like a baby because it hurts.”
“s-sorry...i-it...it’s too big...” you whimper, bringing your hands up to press against his check once again.
he allows them to stay there this time, however, but continues to sink in despite your whining and complaining.
“you take me all the time, though,” he feigns a pout, cock throbbing when you whine as he finally bottoms out, “see? you can do so well when you’re not acting like a little bitch.”
-ˏ͛ inarizakiˏ͛-  
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— shinsuke kita.
≻ he likes watching you struggle to take him bc its hot ≻ but he does not like when it hurts you ≻ even if you try to convince him you like when it hurts ≻ he’s not gonna go for it ≻ so a lot of prep goes into it for him ≻ he likes how easily he can make you cum ≻ and how much you have to stretch to accommodate him ≻ he finds it cute
+
you were so wet that you were dripping and you just wanted his cock so bad.
“please, shin,” you begged, arching your hips against his cock as he rutted against your folds, “i’m ready, please fuck me.”
he hummed, fisting his length to tap against your clit, making your thighs shake, “are you sure? i dont want to hurt you.”
“i-it won’t hurt please!” you cry, nearly at your wits end.
if he didn’t give you his cock soon, you were seriously going to go crazy. you had already been made to cum three times and you were just ready to be fucked.
you were about to open your mouth to whine again when he suddenly pressed the fat head of his cock against your entrance, pushing in. he watched your face closely for any signs of pain, his thumb finding your clit to swirl around the bud. your eyes rolled back and you let out a cry of pleasure; he was going so slow, making you feel every inch of him.
he couldn’t contain his smile when he felt the way your body was already trembling. he barely even had to do anything and you were already on edge again for him.
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— atsumu miya.
≻ he’s like futakuchi ≻ but a little more cruel about it ≻ he likes to see you cry ≻ and hear you beg that his cock is just too big ≻ all while you tremble and cream on him ≻ he likes to make manipulate you a little bit into taking his cock to “make him proud” and so “you’re a good girl”
+
“you’re so pretty when you’re crying for me,” he chuckles, watching the tears fall down your pretty face, lip tucked between your teeth as he works his thick cock in and out of your cunt, “c’mon, cry more for me. i love it.”
“y-you’re too big, ‘tsumu,” you sob, clutching the front of his shirt in your fists so hard your knuckles were white.
“yeah? does it hurt your little cunt?” he asks, a grin plastered on his face.
you nodded, making him click his tongue in disappointment, “if you’re not even grateful, i shouldn’t even be botherin'. after i was so nice too, makin' you cum on my tongue...but you can’t even let me stuff your pussy like i deserve, huh? too bad...i thought you were gonna be a good girl too.”
you whine, “i am a good girl.”
“yeah? then show me...” he grunts, feeling your juices beginning to drip down h is balls, “and take my cock without whinin’.”
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— osamu miya.
≻ he knows his cock is big ≻ but he’s not overly cocky about it ≻ he’s also not very into watching you struggle to take it so much that it hurts ≻ he does, however, enjoy talking dirty to you ≻ about how your cunt looks when its being stuffed full ≻ or how tight you clench around him because he’s just too big.
+
“you’re stretched so far,” he mutters, thumbing your clit as he grinds his hips to bury his length deeper, “does it hurt?”
“n-no!” you moan, “f-feels so good ‘samu...”
he smiles, soft and almost loving, “good, i want you to cum for me, yeah? make a mess like a good girl.”
“fuck,” you keen, arching your hips to try and take even more of him in, even though he had already bottomed out, “please, yes! ‘samu, yo-your cock is s’good...feel so full...”
he chuckles, pulling his cock back before sinking back into you with a gracious roll of his hips. your back arches and your cunt clamps down tight around him.
“you’re such a dirty girl,” he chuckles, beginning to properly fuck you, “begging for a cock too big, close to cumming when i haven’t even done anything...you should be ashamed...” he grins when his mean words make your pussy gush.
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— rintarou suna.
≻ he’s sort of a lazy guy ≻ so he lets you use his cock how you want ≻ but ≻ he can’t deny that it fills him with satisfaction knowing how difficult it is for you to take his cock ≻ but he never actually helps you out ≻ he lets you do your thing, wearing a lazy smirk as you gasp when you take too much too fast and have to pop his cock back out to start again
+
although it didn’t feel nearly as good as when you were bouncing on his cock, he appreciated how pretty you looked as you ground yourself down on him. the movements stirred his cock within your walls, allowing him to touch every sweet spot you had.
“did you finally take all of me?” he asks, as if he can’t see or feel the way he’s buried completely within your spasming cunt.
you nod, biting your lip as you let your head fall back with a sigh, “feels good...”
“yeah? why don’t you be good and bounce for me then,” he asked, wearing a smirk that made your heart flutter, “it’s my cock you’re using, you might as well be nice and make me feel good too.”
you brace your hands on his chest and slowly rise up a bit before dropping your weight back down. he reaches even deeper and you can’t help but cry out. he reaches up to wrap his hands around your wrists, keeping your hands pinned down.
“you can do better than that,” he criticized.
determined to please him, you let almost all of his cock out before taking it once more with a quick move of your hips. he bumps your cervix and your body almost collapses as the painful pleasure the action brings.
all the while, he sits back and watches you impale yourself on a cock too big for you.
»»   ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ──────  ««  
© all content belongs to seita 2020. do not modify or repost.  
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rigginsstreet · 3 years ago
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also the way the show asks us to believe max's perception of billy and the things she says when she's suicidal/depressed/self hating as 100% truth is soooooooooo stupid 2 me. not saying shes not perceptive but shes DEPRESSED AND 14 AND TORTURING HERSELF HER THOUGHTS ARE NOT OBJECTIVE FACT.
this show can only spoon feed its audience and doesn't ask us to think critically about max's thoughts/feelings at all and it does max such a disservice because her storyline this season should have been about working through her lifetime of existing struggles as well as what happened to billy at the end of s3 and instead she got to do none of that and then died???? no one challenged her darkest thoughts and the awful headspace she was in at all... and for the show to act like they're all fact is so insulting to her.
like she says her darkest fear about herself is that she stood there and didn't try to save billy bc deep down she thought he deserved it.... that's literally not what happened obviously she couldn't run and make it to billy on time and save his life because she was frozen in shock and across the room and also 13 yrs old in the face of an interdimensional monster? in the moment she was absolutely not condemning him 2 death and choosing to stand still that's literally ridiculous and anyone could tell her that and help put her mind at rest.... but no one tells her that. that's what she fears about herself when shes literally torturing herself about what happened all this time.
cuz i absolutely believe she wished billy wouldn't come home some days because she was scared of him, he was angry and unpredictable and making her life harder and shes just a kid who is gonna have thoughts that arent the kindest, and now shes so ashamed of thinking that that its contributing to her suicidal thoughts... and instead of showing how their relationship got to that point and why billy was the way he was and why max should now forgive herself and gesturing towards any kind of complicated sibling relationship for them which would be so rewarding they just ask us to take her thoughts at face value bye.... I'm saying so much omg all my feelings are coming out
max truly cannot get a break like the show is not making any effort to give her peace and is validating her suicidal thoughts by saying they're true. and billy cannot get a break cuz they're trashing his character and actively making the show worse as a result. disturbed.
Exactly like I don’t have an issue with max having wished billy would crash his car or whatever she said but the way they tried to entirely rewrite their dynamic in season 3 ???? No ma’am. She starts the season talking to El about billy in a very stereotypical younger sibling way there was no animosity there anymore she was like “billys gross lol” and then she goes into denial about him being possessed BECAUSE SHE DOESNT WANT HIM TO BE and she’s crying in the sauna scene like… y’all know damn well no one was writing her as a someone actively wishing for billys death or thinking he didn’t deserve to be saved. But they admit to not rewatching their own show so… there you go.
And the complete 180 from Max’s letter in dear billy to volume 2???? The absolute fuck was that about none of it is making any sense!! Max cared! On some level she knew things could’ve been different for them! But nobody gives a shit about consistent writing or god forbid we have complex characters and relationships I hate it here
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babesonly · 4 years ago
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fic recs 2.0!
hello kings (gn) ive got significantly more fic than last time which means this is gonna be a little more organized than the last post bc it is much longer <3 categories in order are non casefic canonverse, casefic/roadtrip fic, finale fixits, endverse, non supernatural aus, and then non destiel ones. titles will be in bold for my favs! also within each category they’re in order from shortest to longest
Canonverse
I’m a tulip in a cup by godtiering (1.2k)
I worry that I never really came back from hell. I wonder why, if I got remade by heaven, I’m still the same screwed up kid that I always was.
Sometimes I worry I’m not into women at all.
"Guess not,” he looks at his shoes.
a REALLY good fic that’s basically just a look inside dean’s head during my bloody valentine do not read this looking for a fun time but please do read it
on vessels by flightsofangels (1.9k)
“You know,” Cas mutters into Dean’s bare skin. “When I was still… an angel, I used to dream that I would take you as my vessel.”
hello consumehimnatural fans!!!!! read newt’s fic right now its incredible
dean winchester is not a nicholas sparks protagonist by microcomets (1.9k)
Dean fell in love with Cas the way you fall asleep--slowly, and then all at once. Or some other hackneyed and trite bullshit. God, this is embarrassing.
dean is in LOVE. he’s also a disaster who keeps staring at cas’ hands. sigh
Stay by aeli_kindara (2.5k)
Coda to 13.06 (Tombstone). In which Castiel reckons with the aftermath of Dean's grief.
hello fellow widow arc fans <3 click here to see cas find out abt the events of advanced thanatology !
walking on a string by swordfishtrombones (2.7k)
Between the doomed offensive at the Firmament and the impending retreat from the ravaged northeast border, Castiel left camp long enough to answer one of Dean Winchester's prayers.
S6 DEAN IS A WAR WIFE. been really into early seasons deancas lately and this one is very good. god
the flesh of the mighty by Mudprophet (2.7k)
Ezekiel 39:17 "you shall eat the flesh of the mighty and drink the blood of the princes of the earth."
MY GOD. anyone who saw the @autisticandroids​ purgatory cannibalism talk and was interested read this right now. also anyone who enjoyed nbc hannibal OR raw (2016). if romantic cannibalism is remotely aligned with your interests read this right now. god
Sam Winchester, Ally At Law by alittleduck (3.3k)
Sam was pretty sure he could read every single gay friendly guide to coming out or supporting queer family members ever written and literally none of them would even imply that arguing with gay people that they were actually just homophobic constituted as "ally behavior". However, Sam was equally sure that none of those book authors had found themselves accidentally watching their brother get pounded by an Angel of the Lord at 9 am on Tuesday, so Sam was pretty sure he might actually still have the higher ground. Now, if only Jack would stop trying to bond with Dean using gay slurs long enough for Sam to convince everyone of that, he might just be able to cobble together some remnant of sanity or, failing that, dignity.
Or, the one where Sam desperately wants to invent PFLAG but Dean won't stop teaching Jack gay slurs
JACK VOICE HEY COCKSUCKERS. 
hummed low by microcomets (3.3k)
Dean pulls the Impala over at a cider barn about thirty miles out; doesn't really think about it, just sees the hokey orange lettering off the roadside and lets his hands guide the Impala off the interstate with gravel spitting under the wheels.
they get a nice day out together and dean has a gay crisis and it’s written beautifully mwah
Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi (3.9k)
In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything.
sometimes i think about this fic and it hits that at this point dean and cas would have been married for more than a year. cas my beloved...
an exploration of gender; angelic by sometimeswelose (4k)
Castiel's true form is made of electromagnetic radiation. He has spent the majority of his life, if you really want to add it all up and average the whole thing out, as a wavelength of celestial intent.
The thing about being made of light: it's light in the physics sense of the word. Castiel's waves are gamma, x-ray, micro, and radio. He's visible light too, of course, a visible light so intense that it is blinding to most humans.
hello trans cas community <3 he’s literally trans he was assigned genderless and then went hm actually i will be a man! love of my life
Some Boys are Sleeping Alone by prosopopeya (4.2k)
This isn't something that's okay, not for him, but it chases him through the years until it turns into something he can't -- doesn't want to deny. 
ohhh deans tenuous relationship with his sexuality my beloved...
love. worship. consummation. consumption. by redeyedwrath (4.3k)
ConsumehimNatural (copyright marcusantonius) the Series!
These are all snapshots centered around the idea of you know. Hunger in Supernatural. Both carnal hunger and other kinds. Fics are shown in semi-chronological order but this series is generally nebulously early seasons.
for ANYONE who is a consumehimnaturual this is required reading it is INCREDIBLE and gorgeous and very visceral and i am so very obsessed with it. thank you redeyedwrath for enabling my brainrot
the reach of human sense by perilously (4.5k)
“You know what Jimmy Novak looked like. You think he was beautiful—gorgeous, hot, all of it. It’s him. Not me. This isn’t my face.”
“But,” Dean says. He doesn’t know where he’s going with it. Just that Cas’ face is right there, brows drawn together and cheekbones gleaming in the lamplight. It’s a face that’s made his heart skip probably a couple hundred beats collectively since they met.
And it used to belong to someone else.
this one is just very nice <3 cas gets uncomfortable w dean calling him attractive since dean has never seen his trueform and they work it out
Down in the River by Ias (4.7k)
Alone in Purgatory and hunted by Leviathans, Castiel finds himself praying to the one person who can't hear him.
cas i love you <3 cas alone in purgatory praying to dean bc dean is the only thing he still worships i love you so much
Creature of Habit by trinityofone (5.1k)
The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well.
written in s5 when cas was depowered and completely nails the later seasons bitchy husbands dynamic it’s very good and fun <3
sink by crackers4jenn (5.4k)
"Where to?" A 9.06 coda.
very bittersweet very well written and also canon compliant so do not go into this one looking for a happy ending but i DO recommend it it’s very good
Sensational by castiowl (6.1k)
“When I first came to earth, it was advised that we temper the senses bound to our vessels. They were a distraction, we were told. An antiquated form of experiencing existence that would hinder our ability to complete our missions, whatever that may be. My true form can better facilitate these experiences. What you would recognize as heightened senses of sight and sound, among other things.”
Or, how Dean helps Cas experience all five human senses for the first time in one night.
early seasons deancas man. i love the sound part i love dean being so worried about doing a good job with this. god. read this please
Something to Protect by Sass_Master (6.2k)
Dean’s violent reaction to being unexpectedly woken has become something of a running joke among them, but Castiel can’t help but look past it to the underlying cause. It makes him ache to think that Dean feels so unsafe, so persecuted, before he’s even fully conscious.
Secretly, Castiel has been determined to work on that, to ease Dean into awareness in a less jarring way, smooth away one of the many stresses that follow him even in sleep. Now’s as good a time as any to try.
oh to sleep more soundly in the presence of someone you love...this fic is very nice i enjoyed it a lot
all this and heaven too by ftmsteverogers (7k)
“Hey,” Dean said. “I’m not ashamed of you, okay?”
Cas raised skeptical eyes to meet his.
“I mean it,” Dean insisted.
“I understand you mean it,” Cas said. “But I don’t think it’s any better if you’re only ashamed of yourself.”
hello trans dean community here is 7k of trans dean having to deal with his internalized homophobia now that he’s sleeping with cas <3 it is SO good
The wilderness. by orange_crushed (8k)
He takes a shower and the pressure is not especially good, but it doesn’t matter. It’s warm and he stands under the spray a long time. Human skin, he knows, constantly renews itself, shedding the dead cells of the epidermis. He wonders how long it will take until he is an entirely new person, until every cell on his surface is a new one. He looks at his hands under the water. It might take less than a month.
this might be the only post 9x03 fic on here with a happy ending actually? plenty of good melancholy leading up to it though <3 canon divergent after 9x03 though which means no 9x06 fanfiction gap but it is absolutely worth reading
till the juice runs by deathbanjo (8.4k)
Apparently whoever drew up the venn diagram of Dean’s sex life decided the circle labelled ‘good sex’ and the one labelled ‘sex with men’ should be kept far apart.
hello this one is SO funny dean finally gets comfortable enough with his bisexuality to start having sex with men and it goes so very bad every time so sorry about your shitty choices beloved </3
First Date by aeli_kindara (8.9k)
“We should go on a date. You and me.”
Castiel wishes he could see Dean’s face. He wishes he had any idea what to say.
“I’m asking you out, Cas.”
this one is very sweet i liked it a lot <3 good refreshing little fic where they just get to have a nice evening together
Entertaining Strangers by cadignan (9k)
Dean settles on to his side, lying in the bed facing Castiel. “So you had sex without me and you bit all my moves. I think I deserve to hear about it, at least. What was her name?”
op im in love with you. premise is established relationship deancas and cas mentions he did have sex before dean and not only that it was a threesome. good for him <3 this fic is cas describing the story of what led up to the threesome and what happened during it while dean interrupts regularly. incredible
the shape you take by noviembre (10k)
“What?” Dean says, fake-offended. “I’d be hot as a girl, you know I would.”
And this is when he really, really should have stopped talking. When he shouldn't have whipped back around and asked, “Cas, if I was a woman, you’d fuck me, right?”
Because if he hadn’t said that, then he wouldn’t have had to deal with this:
Cas, meeting his eyes, forehead wrinkles all smoothed out like there’s nothing to be confused about anymore. Cas with something at the corner of his mouth that might barely be called a smile.
Cas saying, calmly and without hesitation, “Yes, Dean.”
--
Dean Winchester fucks around and, with the inadvertent help of some witches, Finds Out.
dean winchester your gender is diabolical. this fic is insane and its the only thing that matters actually. dean fully convinced its normal and straight to think about being a woman so you can fuck your male friend. incredible. op im proposing to you
Sinnerman by a_good_soldier (10k)
Dean listens to Nina Simone, reads Anne Carson, and makes out with a dude (sort of).
yall want to read about dean realizing he’s in love with a man as a direct result of learning to better respect women right?
you’re fooling yourself by cowboydeanwinchester (13k)
Dean Winchester and Castiel retire from hunting to raise baby Jack. Dean struggles to allow himself the things he truly wants.
Jack is two, Castiel and Dean are idiots, and Sam's gotta solve everyone's problems.
love a married couple who doesn’t know they’re married <3 everyone say thank you sam for bullying dean 
The Girlfriend Experience by rageprufrock (15k)
While it's not like Dean hasn't had a couple of truly regrettable hit-and-runs in his sexual history, this is probably the saddest fucking thing that has ever happened to him.
a classic for good fucking reason. we’ve all talked about dean thinking holding hands is too gay after having just had gay sex but my personal favorite was sam accusing dean of cheating on cas because dean bought condoms. incredible
No Kingdom To Come by domesticadventures (16k)
“We should fuck,” Dean says.
Cas looks up from where he sits on his bed, hair still damp from the shower, frowning as he places a finger on the page of his book to mark where he left off.
There are a million things Cas could say here; Dean has rehearsed them. After lunch, his restlessness had given way to a vague panic, a dread that matched his every step and crept along with him from room to room. Eventually, he had returned to his bedroom and spent the rest of the afternoon pacing back and forth, playing out all the possible scenarios. When Cas asks him Why? or Are you being serious? or when he sighs and says, in that way he has, Dean, he knows exactly what he’s going to do. He’s going to shrug casually, like he isn’t invested in the answer, like he isn’t desperate for an outlet, and say, Why not? He’s going to raise an eyebrow and say, What, are you not interested? He’s going to crowd into Cas’ personal space, he’s going to shove himself right up in there and whisper Cas against his ear.
Instead, Cas says, carefully, “Okay.”
literally the only quarantine fic i’ve ever bothered to read in any fandom and completely worth it it’s SO good. they become fwb and dean has an existential crisis and he keeps bringing up meaninglessness and death during sex
Bodies by Speary (18k)
It was a secret they never acknowledged even with each other. It would change everything, end everything if either of them ever dropped the act. So they became very good at acting, at keeping up the lie that gave them what they wanted. Even if that lie involved constantly seeking out temporary, consenting female vessels, Cas would do it. He told himself it was worth it for Dean. He just hoped that he could stop wanting more, or maybe one day Dean might stop pretending that he wasn't really sleeping with Cas every time.
i don’t even have anything to add tbh if that summary did not immediately make you click we are very different this fic is incredible. god. fellas do you ever make yourself a woman so you can fuck the man you love without him having to talk about it or confront his sexuality
it’s such a mystery (the way you know me) by fleeceframe (20k)
So the man crouching in front of Castiel is named Dean. He wonders if that’s supposed to mean something to him.
“Cas must’ve got hit with something earlier. He just dropped like a sack of fucking potatoes a minute ago. By the time I was checking on him, he had already woken up again, but now he doesn’t fucking know who we are.”
“I’m right here you know,” Castiel says testily.
Sam’s eyes are wide even as his eyebrows are furrowed, and he looks between Dean and Castiel again.
“What do you remember, Cas?”
“Firstly, that I’m not Cas. I don’t know who Cas is, but it’s not me. I don’t know who either of you are, either."
or the one where castiel is hit with a memory curse that makes him forget the winchester brothers and is stunned to find out he has a family... also why can't he stop thinking about dean?
BEST amnesia fic oh my god. cas my beloved you deserve the world. everyone read this that is not a request.
More Than Ever by Sass_Master (20k)
Dean’s getting some pancakes together for breakfast when Cas saunters in after a run.
He’s trying to focus on whisking batter, unfairly distracted by Cas a few feet away, breathing heavily and shining with perspiration. Dean’s been painfully aware for a long time that Cas is pretty easy on the eyes, but he’s used to seeing Cas buttoned-up and unflappable, looking straight-laced in a stiff oxford and an unflattering trenchcoat.
Now Cas is sweating, Dean’s borrowed t-shirt clinging to his skin, flushed from exertion and Dean really can’t deal with that in his kitchen right now.
this entire series is really good i enjoyed it a lot, i’m just putting this one specifically on the list bc the rest of the series is very explicit and this is really good as a standalone for anyone who wouldn’t be into the rest of the series!!
Being Dean Winchester by Anonymous (20k)
"You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of hell. I can throw you back in."
Who the fuck was this bitchy "warrior of God" doing talking to him like that? Fuck Cas-tee-el and his dumbass trench coat and abrasive motherfucking attitude.
Dean was done with this shit.
***
Wherein a monster of the week steals the essence of Castiel's vessel, so he must use Dean, recently raised from hell, as a vessel instead.
it is at this point i realize that there are more fics than i expected there to be on this list that involves a threesome with only two people/using the presence of a female body to act like what’s happening is heterosexual. deangirlism is a disease 
I Shall Not Want by domesticadventures (20k)
His grace is burning out, and the wasteland it leaves inside him becomes an echo chamber for all the memories, all the fear and doubt and self-loathing he's collected over the years. Things said and done hound him on endless repeat until he's convinced they’ll break through his skin and fill the silence of the bunker.
His head is killing him, and he sits hunched over an open book, not really reading, just digging his fingers into his skull and praying nothing slips through the cracks.
this one is GORGEOUS i love it so so much. dean and cas are both struggling so much to get by and they’re trying to support each other but fucking it up and they have to grow together and learn to cope with the fact that this is where their lives are and they fall in love i need everyone to read this
To Boldly Go by 8daysuntiltheapocalypseiguess (24k)
Title: Just One of Those Things Author: Impala67 Series: TOS Rating: M Summary: Four years into their five-year mission, and all the planets start to look the same.
In which Dean is not Gene Roddenberry, but he does write Star Trek fanfiction.
mx winchester writing star trek fanfiction to process his own trauma <3 this is a wip but it’s SO good and i also have not consumed a single piece of star trek media so it IS definitely readable to anyone who isn’t a star trek fan. please read this
where the weeds take root by deathbanjo (30k)
“Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.”
this is on here just for the 1.5 people who were putting off this one like i did for no reason. it’s extremely good and it is just gentle. i enjoyed it a lot
Heroes for Ghosts by pantheon_of_discord (42k)
After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.
Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.
yall ever wonder what it would’ve been like if the sam and dean arrest storyline in s12 was interesting? yeah <3
Teaching Poetry to Fish by aeli_kindara (52k)
In which Castiel teaches poetry to fish. Also, himself. Also, eventually, Dean.
(A series-long story, diverging slightly from canon after S14.)
cas learning about humanity through poetry before dean and thats what led to him developing enough emotion to be lobotomized....cas i love you so much
Emergence by ellispark (58k)
Something’s been missing from Dean’s life for the past three years, a void left after a hunt gone terribly wrong. He often feels a sense of longing with no discernible cause, a need to talk to someone who isn’t there.
A call from an acquaintance leads Dean to James Novak, a man who disappeared more than a decade ago, and suddenly Dean gets the feeling he’s found what he’s been missing. But James isn’t really James — he’s the angel Castiel, who’s wanted by angels, demons and hunters alike. And he may be at the center of the storm that wrecked Dean’s life all those years ago.
another cool amnesia fic!! for unknown reasons everyone forgot cas three years ago but cas didn’t forget anything. cas deserves so much love and support. god
a turn of the earth by microcomets (95k)
Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.
Frigging fantastic.
(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)
cas getting to meet and fall in love with pre hell dean just as much as he loves the dean he already knows oh my GOD. i love this fic so much. turn of the earth my beloved
Crossing Lines by sometimeswelose (122k)
Two Deans, one Cas - it's not as sexy as it sounds
Or
An ethics lesson from Hell
Or
The one where Dean from the past meets Dean in the present. They're not sure they like each other very much.
deans intense self hatred vs cas’ unwavering love for every version of dean oh my GOD also this is a wip fair warning but it’s so worth waiting for updates i’m having such a great time with this one i cannot wait to see how it gets ended
Plot Holes by saltyfeathers (160k)
Of course it wasn’t over after the apocalypse.
There was season six. Then there was season seven. Against all expectations, there was season eight. There were the alphas and purgatory, and then the Leviathans, and then the angels fell. Enter season nine. Loose threads Metatron, Abaddon, and Crowley have to be tied up. Sam, Dean, and Cas have to try to tie them while at the same time dealing with their evolving relationships and newfound graceless states.
Amidst all the chaos, someone has started publishing the Supernatural novels again. Convinced there’s something amiss in the pages, Charlie starts her own quest to suss out the truth behind the Winchester Gospels.
With the help of various faces, old and new, they must now not only deal with the typical runs of demons and recently fallen angels, but also reconcile the battles raging inside themselves, as the fate of the world, once again, quite literally lays in the palm of their hands.
saltyfeathers said i WILL make the plot holes in this show mean something because the showrunners are sure as shit never gonna adress them ! and i thank them for it bc this was a really cool read
Casefic/Roadtrip Fic
Deprived Of Every Planet by KelpietheThundergod (9k)
Dean's breathing is audible in the scant space between them, irregular. The motel room is dark, pale blue shadows falling in through the gaps in the blinds. Throwing a pattern of uneven white stripes over the bunched up covers. Over Dean's fingers twisted in the sheets. One half of him in shadow, softened by the dark. The heat of his skin. The tremble of him under Castiel's touch.
He caresses a hand over Dean's chest, slowly. Dean's mouth falls open, his body arching into Castiel's touch. Castiel stops over Dean's heart. Through the fever of his desire, he rejoices about the wonder of experiencing another's heartbeat through one's own senses.
Dean gasps, but then he turns his face away and towards the dark. Eyes closed tight and brows furrowed like something is hurting him.
Castiel stills.
“Dean?”
the case is background on this one but it Does take place over the course of a case so im putting it here. god touchstarved dean trying so hard to work through his shit for cas head in my hands i love this fic so much
before and after breakfast by spocklee (10k)
The monster of the week is a ghost who hates meat, alcohol, and feeling yourself. Guess who it is during the commercials.
chapter 2 of this one.....god. dean and cas you are both so unwell <3 i love everything abt this fic everyone read it now
we shovel all the ashes out by xylodemon (15k)
Dean’s always known things were headed this way. He just figured getting dragged under would be cleaner and easier than jumping in feet-first.
fics that make you go Oh they love each other...also there’s lesbians in it literally what else could you want.
thunder road by dothraki_shieldmaiden (20k)
After Chuck is defeated and the Winchesters settle into life without God, Dean Winchester is bored.
OR: Dean and Cas take a road trip and figure out some stuff along the way.
this fic is just like. it’s kind! this fic is kind it’s just a pleasant experience and i enjoyed it thoroughly. they’re in love and it’s good
Suck It, Judy Garland by GlitterDwarf, midrashic (20k)
It had to be St. Louis. Or, the one where Sam and Cas get fake married for a case, and Dean loses his mind.
actually im gonna defend dean here imagine youre dean and cas gives what definitely sounded like a deathbed love confession while making eye contact with you and then immediately afterwards fake dates your brother. who among us would not have been a bitch about this
best friends without benefits by lizbobjones (20k)
It’s nearing three a.m. and they’ve been on the road a long time. Sam’s been asleep in the back seat since eleven. Giving up and handing the wheel over to Cas and letting the guy who doesn’t sleep drive had seemed like a good idea.
the premise of this fic is so funny. cas voice dean you want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid. everyone read this
the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo (22k)
This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore.
alt version of getting rid of the mark of cain, the darkness never happens. this one is VERY heavy but it’s so good and it has a hopeful ending. ive read this one twice and loved it both times
Someone Who’s Feeling For Me by ellispark (45k)
Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.
Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there. Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.
Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be. Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.
hello op please contact me. please contact me and let me see the inside of your brain. this fic was an unparalleled experience and everyone should also go through it. i love it so very much
Bumper Cars by mansikka (111k)
Two teenagers are missing from an abandoned carnival, and there’s enough to raise suspicion that their disappearance involves a ghost. Dean, Sam, and Cas arrive in town to investigate, though what they find leads them away from those teenagers, and on the trail of a ghost story that churns up things from their past.
Can newly-human Cas, and Dean, with the help of shipper!Sam, work out the mystery behind the abandoned carnival and its ghost, and along the way, figure out the riddle that is them?
one of my absolute fav case fics it forces dean to confront some aspects of johns parenting and work through some shit and also him and cas fall in love and it’s really well done. love this one a lot <3
Finale Fix-its/Finale Denial
Sorry Jimmy by K_K_TiBal (2.1k)
Based on the tumblr textpost:
jellydeans: so are cas and jimmy novak just up in heaven existing at the same time katebushstandean: #jimmy moves to heaven timbuku so that dean stops trying to make out with him every time they run into each other at the heaven grocery store
this one is just extremely funny. local midwestern heterosexual man is forced to play relationship counselor to the dumbest gay people in existence because one of them wore his face
Dean Winchester Really Needs To Make Some Gay Friends by AreYouReady (2.2k)
“Like, I’m trying to think if I’ve had, I don’t know, crushes. If I ever had a gay thing before you came along and just didn’t notice,” Dean said.
Cas suddenly looked down, and away from Dean. If Dean didn’t know better, he would swear Cas looked guilty.
“What is it, Cas?”
“You have had several… gay things before.” Cas still wouldn’t look at him.
“What? When? How come you know this better than I do?”
There was no way the answer to this question wasn’t funny as hell.
dean learning about gay ppl via the memories of dean smith...incredible.
tiny difference (between ending and starting to begin) by sunforgrace (2.4k)
Sometimes Dean catches Cas staring at the sky.
It doesn’t happen often. Not when Dean’s around to tell, anyway. But often enough that he starts to notice.
Eventually Dean starts to recognize the pattern.
Cas just doesn’t watch the sky. He watches the birds.
Chuck is gone, Cas is human, and the world is safe. In the quiet aftermath Dean and Castiel find each other again.
i really don’t have much to say abt this one it is just very good and they love each other so much
Bring Home by cenotaphy (3.8k)
Dean's phone doesn't ring on the drive back to the Bunker, but that's okay. Because—well, maybe Cas lost his cell, what with getting shuffled back and forth between a cosmic void dimension and all. And anyway, Dean doesn't want this conversation to happen over the phone, he wants to—he wants to talk to Cas face-to-face. They should talk face-to-face.
Dean will tell him—
Dean doesn't know what he'll tell Cas. Dean is, in fact, terrified by how utterly and completely he does not know what he'll say to Cas.
cas being forced to face the consequences of sending the risky text that was despair <3
dean’s coworkers vs the heteronormative agenda by cowboydeanwinchester (4.1k)
Dean started working at a local auto repair shop in Lebanon, Kansas about a year ago. His coworkers don't know much about him. Except that he has a wife. Or maybe he doesn't. But he has a kid. Who is either a toddler or a high schooler. Who is either named Jack or Sammy. He also might have a best friend named Cas, but that also might be his wife.
Truth is nobody knows what to make of Dean.
obsessed w people not knowing a single fucking thing about dean because he talks so much and never explains anything. this fic is SO funny
Enhanced Extraction Techniques by goldenraeofsun (5.8k)
The Empty takes Meg’s shape, Samandriel’s, Duma’s, every one of the thousands of angels Cas killed up in heaven. But in the middle of lecturing Cas in the form of Balthazar, it explodes in a burst of light and sound.
Dean Winchester stands in the aftermath.
the empty playing mind games on an awake cas bc it can’t put him to sleep is a thing i like a lot and this is very very good 
Speak Silence No More by rea_sunshine (8.1k)
When Dean imagined this moment, it went like this:
Dean bursts into the Empty—guns blazing, chin high, righteous anger coursing through him. No matter what form his plans and fantasies and whiskey-drunk-whispered-promises took, he is always, always successful. When he imagined it, he was finally the hero Cas deserved.
The reality of the moment is this:
It’s fucking cold.
dean and cas STILL managing to not communicate with each other properly after the confession is so funny to me and this fic does it really well. also i like that a human being in the empty, where humans do NOT belong, had some like. consequences
my heart is a compass by lagaudiere (10k)
“There you are,” the Empty says, in Dean’s voice. It’s cold, like Dean’s eyes are cold, his expression set in contempt. It’s the expression Cas feared, he realizes, all the times he thought about saying it. Revulsion. It makes him feel sick in the way that goes beyond physical, here where there is nothing physical left.
The moment before it happened had been so sweet it covered up all the hurt. For years, Cas had been holding back those words, biting down on his tongue to keep from saying them. And now he had said it, and he knew that it was good, knew that it was worth it. But on the other side there is only this.
--
In the Empty, Cas dreams of his regrets, until someone comes looking for him.
one of thee best dean rescues cas from the empty fics out there i love the way his memories are written i love how many of them were ones that this fic came up with to give me new things to have brainworms over instead of just making me more fixated on He Watched Him Rake Leaves than i already am
killing time by orestespdf (11k)
It's been four years since Dean saved Cas from the Empty and confessed his feelings in return, and in their Vermont lakehouse, the retired couple is now learning how to heal. One morning, Dean gives Cas a haircut.
(A character study of Castiel.)
perfect fic perfect fic no notes no complaints they love each other so much and now dean is giving cas a haircut and they’re spending the day together. god.
and every time we kiss, i swear i can fly by knameless (14k)
Every time, Dean tells himself it’s the last.
--
aka, twelve times dean and cas kiss.
a just boy best friends kiss for every season <3 mwah
for which no words exist by MediaWhore (14k)
'a prayer for which no words exist' // richard siken
"Dear Cas who art in my bathtub, give me the strength to be honest about how I feel. For your sake and for mine. Forgive me all the times I wasn’t in the past, all the words I should have said but didn’t. And please stay. Please stay with me when all is said and done. Amen. "
Dean rescues a newly human Cas from the Empty. That's the easy step.
mediawhore i am in LOVE with you oh my god this fic. this fic. dean taking care of cas after rescuing him dean wrapping cas in a blanket oh my GOD
swimming with the fish pond fish by februyuri (17k)
Some time between Dean bleeding out on a makeshift hook in a barn in Ohio and Sam making marshmallows on his funeral pyre, Dean was brought back to life. By Castiel. Again. Dean agreed to it if only to give Jack time to work out the glitches up top. So, now Dean’s back in the land of the living and things are ... actually good, for once.
Or, as good as they can be when demons are attacking Earth, Dean’s failing to get over why he died in the first place, and Cas is suddenly, inexplicably taking every opportunity to casually tell Dean that he loves him.
this is a wip! but it is so good and so worth the read i love it a lot and am very excited for the last chapter. it IS pretty heavy though dean has a LOT to work through
looking like a true survivor (feeling like a little kid) by courfeyrac (20k)
"Jack’s a clever kid—has been ever since he was born, maybe even before that—but Dean’s pretty sure he hasn’t figured out where they’re going yet. And Dean’s… Dean’s excited about it. He remembers planning surprises for Sammy when they were little—saving up quarters and sneaking off to the arcade the year he turned seven, or slipping a book Dean had seen Sammy admiring into his jacket before sprinting out of the store the year he turned twelve. There was only so much Dean could give him back then, hindered by lack of finances and transportation and a father who paid attention. Now, though, Dean’s got a wallet full of cash, a tank full of gas, and the freedom to give his kid the kind of birthday he deserves."
Or, it's Jack's fourth birthday, and the kid wants to go to Build-A-Bear.
EVERYONE READ THIS RIGHT NOW. that is not a request this fic undid me. oh my god. oh my god. they’re a family and they’re going to build a bear and they love each other. oh my god. also no it isn’t a baby jack fic he is 4 and he is also alcal
what’s missing is found (our souls can exhale now) by sobsicles (27k)
It's not the first time Claire has ever gone missing. It is, however, the first time Kaia panics about it. Dean's dragged into the mess, but he soon finds that it's the best thing that could have happened to him.
~~~
"But have you ever just met someone and maybe it wasn't from the first moment, maybe it was after all these other moments that meant more than you ever expected them to, and it seems like your soul just—just—" Kaia makes a helpless gesture with her hands, pushing out, and she breathes out loudly. "Like it can finally exhale. And that person isn't guaranteed to make you happy, but they're—they're important. You just know it, you can't even escape it, you can't let them go. Ever met someone like that, Dean?"
"I—" Dean halts, his mouth hanging open. He's looking at Kaia, who's looking at him, and his heart is fluttering in his throat like a caged bird aching to soar again. His mind threatens to spiral out of control, but he focuses, swallowing hard. "Yeah. Um. I—yeah, I have."
deancas AND dreamhunter we love to see it also dean DOES smoke weed with kaia and apologizes for pulling a gun on her what more could you want in a fic
Command Me To Be Well by prospopeya (28k)
Dean did a lot of thinking about when and how he would get Cas back. Months of it, actually, stretching into a year, because while Sam and Eileen were settling into their new lives, Dean was stuck. He was stuck in a faraway corner of the bunker, dark and empty and hollow, ringing with the sound of a vibrating phone.
So when he falls to his knees in that same room, exhausted, hurting, breathless, and he feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up to see Cas, he realizes that he doesn't have a single clue about what to do now. Getting Cas out had been easy--actually, it'd been the opposite of that--but the planning of it, the methodical desperation of one attempt after the other had been a familiar rhythm. It'd been soothing almost, solid, something to focus on that wasn't Cas's eyes, watery and jubilant in a way Dean hadn't ever seen that up close on anyone, let alone Cas.
And now Cas is pulling him to his feet, and Dean's stumbling, and he instinctually grabs Cas's arm, and his hand lights up with a fire that he isn't prepared for.
"Hello, Dean."
oh post despair lack of communication....oh dean refusing to work through his feelings...this fic is incredible i love it everyone who enjoys dean doing everything in his power to avoid talking about feelings up to and including having sex with the guy who’s in love with him multiple times should read this
break the skin (to break the barriers) by sobsicles (29k)
The first time she meets him, he's nothing more than an almost-missed appointment.
SOBSICLES TATTOO FIC MY BELOVED. dean grieving and getting tattoos and it turns into tattoo therapy. im SO in love with mitzi it’s insane. requires some suspension of disbelief for how long a tattoo takes but it’s an incredible fic and an unparalleled experience. sobsicles does not miss
ascend by quiettewandering (53k)
Something in the world is wrong.
Demon activity is rising where mysterious black substance oozes and unusual ecological events are shaking the world. Dean, grief hanging on his shoulders, restlessly searches for answers that might lead him to the Empty… and to Cas.
But what Chuck wrote can’t be undone. The narrative thread pulls Dean along, forcing him to comply. Because once a story already has an ending, it can’t be rewritten.
Or can it?
SUPER cool concept i liked this a lot i’m pretty sure everyone’s read it already but just in case someone hasn’t you absolutely should
oh sooner or later it all comes down to faith by sobsicles (62k)
Getting used to Heaven is something of a marvel. It ain't perfect, and Dean thinks he'd hate it if it was, which is probably why it isn't.
~~~
"You don't understand," Dean whispers, exhaling shakily. "I know you don't, because even I don't. The instant you were gone, I wanted you back. Cas, I wanted you back. I wanted—I wanted—"
Cas stares at him, searching his face. After a moment, his own face falls slack, eyes widening just so. "Oh," he breathes out.
Dean wants to be furious that Cas has figured it out before he has—whatever it is—but he's not even that surprised. Cas knows him too well, always has, even more than Dean knows himself. He's been kicking Dean in the goddamn teeth with how deeply he understands him, even about the things Dean doesn't, ever since they first met. You don't think you deserve to be saved, that's what Cas had said. All bundled up in impossibilities and power, this being that looked at Dean Winchester and knew every single inch of him, as if he had a right to each part.
"What?" Dean grits out.
"I love you, too."
the ONLY heaven fic. i do not read heaven fics bc i refuse to budge in my finale denialism i refuse to read fic where it is accepted that dean dies. i was hesitant to read this but god im glad i did it was so good. literally the best possible outcome of dean dying
Endverse
final fantasy. by orange_crushed (1.9k)
“If I’d actually been born human, would I have gotten sick like everyone else? Would I be running around gnawing on the neighbors?” Castiel tilts his head up and even from here Dean can see the black ring of his pupils, wide and dark as dead stars. He’s high as fuck and he’s been loading the guns for forty-five minutes. He stares into the space where Dean is. He smiles and shows his teeth. “Maybe you’d have already put a bullet in my head.”
"This is why you don’t lead storytime anymore," Dean says. "This kind of shit."
endverse last night on earth fics are something that can be so personal actually. god
The Last Song by Moorishflower (3.5k)
The very last song is the Song of Solomon, and Castiel sings it only for Dean. Set in "The End."
this is like. pre endverse and the tone is so like. wistful? is the best word ive got? it’s gorgeous i love it but fair warning there is graphic description of like. viscera and infected wounds
to think that we could stay the same by cipherwriter (6.5k)
cas has all he needs; himself, his creation, and enough power to continue this cycle for a long time. he's fine. dean wants to take care of him anyway.
oh my GOD this one is good it’s based off the thing of how originally endverse cas was supposed to be just sitting in a room killing and resurrecting the same cockroach over and over. very bittersweet at some points i love it a lot, do not read it if youre looking for something happy though lmao
the first church at the end of the world by withbloodstainedclothingon (11k)
The angels don’t eat the brain. Only Croats do that.
this one is fucked but it’s incredible it contains very heavy and violent subject matter and cas is an Actual cult leader he doesn’t just have orgies it is SO well done and i had a great time reading it i recommend it very highly if the warnings sound like something you can stomach
Down to Agincourt by seperis (1.1 million. i know. yes it’s a wip)
There is no such thing as a guarantee when it comes to war.
The outcome's known. Why try? Return your rusty sword to battered sheath, bow your head and bend your stubborn knee. Why take the field when you cannot win the war? But Harry -- he went down to Agincourt.
PLEASE. i know the length is intimidating i KNOW it’s a very long fic but please. please read down to agincourt i am begging you. head in my HANDS this series is incredible.
Non Supernatural AUS
Long-Term Relationship by bendingsignpost (2.7k)
Castiel says, budging over to make room for Dean on the couch, “I thought we should have a serious talk about our relationship.”
Reflexively, Dean laughs.
Castiel does not.
“Uh, Cas... you know we’re not dating, right?”
look man it’s bendingsignpost okay. it’s bendingsignpost it’s good and it’s sweet and you should read it
One White Lie by komodobits (11k)
Castiel takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. He doesn’t need to run through what he’s going to say – he’s already planned and edited and rehearsed it a thousand times. He is going to ask Dean Winchester out to dinner. If it’s not too forward, he’ll say, perfectly charming. You see, I’ve seen you around the neighbourhood and you always seem so earnest and I’d really like to get to know you bette— The door swings open, and Castiel panics.
He intends to excuse himself. He means to apologise and come back some other time. However, in a moment of blind fear, what comes out of his mouth instead are the words, “Could you spare a moment for Jesus Christ?”
do you ever pretend to be a jehovahs witness for months to hang out with the guy you like because you fucked up asking him out? yeah.
separate ways and sleeping dogs by sobsicles (53k)
Dean is three years sober when Cas comes back into town.
~~~
For a moment, they just stare at each other. Dean, once again, has to swallow the urge to offer to swallow something else. It's very hard to resist the gut-wrenching pull of want that hooks in his chest whenever he looks at Cas. And to think, he used to have him, used to be able to act on that want.
God, he's so fucking stupid.
Well, there's no point in kicking himself three years later for shit he can't change. He'll just sit right here and pretend that his fingers aren't twitching with the urge to reach out and touch. He can't do that anymore, and it's his own damn fault.
"Three years ago," Cas prompts.
Dean huffs a weak laugh. "Yeah. Eventful."
this fic hit me SO hard emotionally oh my god. don’t have much to say bc most of my thoughts on this fic are very personal but my god read this please
Everyone’s a Critic by Englandwouldfall (109k)
The one where uninspired chef Dean Winchester has a one night stand with the male (!) food critic who described the flavour of his garlic bread as 'closeted' and accidentally ends up dating him to try and prove that he's a kick ass chef, thank you very much.
(He may have a point about the 'closeted' thing).
this one is SO fun. dating the food critic who called your garlic bread closeted and lying about your career because you’re embarrassed and you want to redeem your food in his eyes but then you fall in love with him
Non Destiel Centric
gender? you mean that thing i have that pisses people off? by bigender dean winchester (homosexualitie) (946 words)
sam and dean paint each other's nails and dean abuses the technicalities of her gender. what more could you want? 
HELLO HE/SHE DEAN COMMUNITY oh my god the pure rush of euphoria reading this. oh my god. oh my god. 
the quiet road to a distant city by rottingbrains (1.2k)
Sam stares out the windshield again. They’re approaching a city, and she can see the lights in the distance. She’s past the danger zone, and she feels like the world around her reflects that in some way she can’t put into words- as if God is telling her that it’s okay. She did the right thing, and soon she will be past the lonely unknown and into the warm, forgiving light of acceptance. Or something. Come to think of it, the lights only look warm from far away, and she knows that the actual city will seem far less welcoming. Still. Best not to imagine the worst when it’s already going well.
required reading for transfem lesbian sam fans. fics that live in your ribcage to make your heart feel good
Four People Ruby Seduced & One She Actually Fell For (Or: Ruby's Epic Love Affair with Humanity in General and Sam in Specific) by tuesday (3.7k)
In which Ruby has a lot of sex, is not any kind of therapist that would be legal, and helps a few people out for her own reasons. (S4/S5 AU)
for everyone out there who enjoys ruby being a girlboss <3
Fractured Link by Trell (orphan_account) (5.5k)
Meg goes on, resolute despite the way Dean flinches, "He likes me. He likes me a lot, and I like him back, and that's probably good enough for both of us. But fuck me for saying so, Dean-o, he loves you, probably more than anything else on his daddy's green Earth, and you need to man up and give back what Clarence over there has been devoting to you for years."
this is meg/dean/cas which is not smth i really seek out but this was extremely good. set in s7 so it’s meg and dean and honey cas and it’s a lot of dean figuring his shit out and trying to forgive cas and i love meg a lot in this
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batfamtv · 4 years ago
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(girls like girls) like boys do, nothing new
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can you do a jealous carol x reader ? like reader has had long time crush on carol and admits her feelings only to get turned down bc carol has internalized homophobia and doesn’t know how to react. carol gets jealous when reader is moving on with another mcu character of your choice.
carol danvers x reader
warnings: internalized homophobia, failed the reverse bechdel test (women only talk about one (1) woman, a gay), no gays fighting over Y/N
word count: 2565 for the gays; set in avengers: endgame; everyone lives au
read part 1 here
Now, after a couple of years, you got promoted
Working under Nick Fury and caring for the Flerken really got you qualified to work in the field
And you did, with the best of the best: Natasha, the Black Widow, and Clint, Hawkeye
You were there when Loki destroyed New York, when Ultron threatened to destroy the world
Over time, your powers manifested, they have been dormant for the longest time
Speaking of dormant, you hadnt heard from Carol since the night she left
You talked to Nick, asked him if she’s ever stopped by, but she hasnt
“She’s busy saving the world, Y/N” he’d tell you, but that didnt make you feel better
You felt so hurt, by her reaction, her rejection, but you began to look forward
But you think about her everyday, wondering what could have been
Carol had given Nick a pager, “for emergencies only”, she reminded him, but she also gave you one
Carol told you that it’s just to make sure Fury doesnt send out some false alarms, but who was she kidding? Maybe she did want you to hit her up
But after all those years, you hadn’t
She looks at her pager every single day, wondering if the world would miss her if she decides to come see you, to clear things out
And you have thought about ringing her up too, in times when the world is in trouble, and in times when the feeling you have on your chest is sharp that you couldnt breathe
In times when you miss her so much you cry uncontrollably, hand over your mouth to make sure no one hears
To make sure no one hears how much you miss the woman you love
You were with Nick and Maria when it happened
It was chaos in the city, and you, Nick and Maria got out of the car to investigate
The drivers seats of cars are empty, helicopters crashing into buildings
Almost reflexively, your hand flew to your pocket, where the pager lay there, almost waiting for you to press it
“Y/N?” Maria sounded distressed, and when you turned to her, her body was disintegrating, like sand blown away by the wind
Nick was distressed and eyed you, “You have to call her. Call control.”
You didn’t hesitate, pressing the button as you watched Nick do the same to his pager, watching your mentor and friend disappear right in front of your eyes
When your right hand started to disappear, you moved the pager to your left hand, tears threatening to spill
You were going to die, alone, unloved, and not having told Carol how much you miss her
Her name was the last thing on your lips before you disappeared
When carol came back to earth, she didnt know anyone
But everyone was grateful to her, for returning tony
The burning question in her head, the one thing she almost didn’t want to admit
Where is the woman she loves?
Back then, way back when carol was still a child, she was told that there were a lot of things she couldnt do
She couldn’t be strong, couldn’t play baseball--because she was a woman
She couldn’t join the air force, couldn’t be a pilot--because she was a woman
All of these things she couldn’t do, but there has always been one thing she was not allowed to do, not allowed to be
Because she was a woman, she is not allowed to like other women
Maybe if she tried hard enough, she could break the glass ceiling and become an air force captain, but there was one thing that she just was not allowed to do
And that was to acknowledge weird, different feelings for women
That has always been the case, it was drilled into her being, ever since she was a child
Girls can’t like other girls
And you confessing your feelings to her years ago forced her to acknowledge that her feelings for you were not at all platonic, that she didn’t stay with you for 3 days just because you were a good friend to her
Carol had to face the facts that being with you reminded her that she was human, and deep down, like the child that she was a long time ago, she had feelings that she didn’t believe were right
And she understood that her running away was not the right thing to have done, that she, who almost prided herself for being able to face her problems head on, was not ready to face this one problem that she had been forced to hide deep down, for years and years
Carol Danvers had always liked girls, and she liked you
Carrying that aircraft containing tony stark and nebula did not bother her one bit, what bothered her was that she was coming to earth after all these years
Somehow she believes that she is being forced to finally deal with abandoning you after all these years
But in spite of this, carol is feeling excited about this, because finally, after all these years...she had made peace with it
Girls like girls like boys do, nothing new
And all it took for her to realize that was the beeping of the pager
When everything had settled down, carol had been graciously offered a change of clothes by Pepper, who was hysterically thanking her for bringing tony back
The atmosphere was morbid, everyone in silent despair, and she was quietly begging for someone to fill up the spaces of what has happened on earth since she was last there
Finally, surrounded by a group of people calling themselves the “Avengers” (carol raised an eyebrow at this, asking if nick fury was the one who assembled the group, “Yeah, how’d you know?” Rhodes asked, and she shrugged and said “Lucky guess”), she was finally brought to speed
“It’s been 23 days since Thanos came to earth”
Holograms of people Carol believed were part of this team are projected around her
“We’re trying to take a census, and it looks like he did exactly what he said he was gonna do”
Nick Fury’s face appeared on the screen, much to Carol’s shock
Tears were brimming in her eyes, thinking about the distress call from Nick
Because if Nick sent the distress call and is now, as Natasha said, wiped out...does that mean…?
“Thanos wiped out...50% of all the living creatures”
Y/N’s face appeared in front of Carol not long after
With that, Carol exhaled as tears finally fell down her cheeks...she had her suspicions, but hoped--no, begged--for it to be false
Y/N was gone
And carol was too late
Tony stark had been upset...and collapsed, Carol, who was still in shock, was staring at the hologram of Y/N in front of her
“Carol, right?”
Carol turned, regarding Natasha with a nod
They hadn’t had the chance to properly introduce themselves, but Carol didn’t think there was any time
“Carol Danvers,” Steve added with a chuckle, “I think we all know you by name before we even met you”
“Fury really singing me praises, huh?” Carol was almost amused
Natasha smiled sadly, “Not Fury,” and she and Steve turned their heads toward the hologram of Y/N
“Whenever she had the chance, she would talk about “her”, Y/N’s greatest love,” Natasha whispered, remembering how she and Clint always pretended to be annoyed whenever Y/N would go on and on about this really powerful superhero who shined like the sun, and lit a flame in her heart
And as much as Carol wanted to bask in the appreciation, she felt nothing but shame, knowing she abandoned Y/N, and wasn’t able to save her
Glancing back at the hologram, she eyed her once more
Years had been good to Y/N, still beautiful as ever, leaving her breathless, but she wasn’t there anymore
And Carol knew what she had to do
If she couldn’t save Y/N, Carol could avenge her
Rhodes approached her, Natasha, and Steve, “He’s probably gonna be out for the rest of the day”, referring to tony
With a resolute look on her face, she said, “You guys take care of him, and I’ll bring him a Xorrian elixir when I come back”
Confused, Natasha, Steve and Rhodes glanced at each other before Steve asked, “Where are you going?”
“To kill Thanos,” Carol said matter-of-factly
Natasha could almost feel the anger Carol was radiating with, so she hurried to catch up to her, “You know, we usually work as a team here…”
When Natasha finally had the chance, she pulled carol over to the side to talk to her privately
“I know that you usually work on your own, that there are worlds out there who need you, but earth needs you too”
She was convincing Carol to stay, to try and create a better world for the people who survived, but it was getting quite hard for Carol to remain on earth
“I don’t…” Carol shook her head, “I don’t have much left on earth.”
“If you can’t stay, atleast come from time to time,” Natasha begged, “This was your home, wasn’t it? This was Y/N’s too.”
And Natasha was right, Carol thought, and in more ways than one, it was her home. But now it’s empty, and Carol is in mourning and she had never felt so alone
All those years, she thought she could live with what she did knowing that Y/N she was still on Earth, possibly with someone who is not ashamed of who she is, who is not ashamed to accept their own feelings
And Carol was okay with that thought, but now…
She couldn’t stand being on Earth knowing Y/N wasn’t there
It was like coming home to a cold and empty house
But she looked at Natasha, finally with the courage to ask her what she had been thinking all this time, “Were you and Y/N together?”
“No,” Natasha answered, almost teasingly
Carol felt relief, but above all, she felt obligated
To do right by Y/N
So she agreed to visit and report from time to time, “For Y/N. Because I need to do right by Y/N.”
When Carol returned to earth after 5 years, Thanos was there, and so was everybody who had disappeared 5 years ago
In spite of all the chaos, she couldn’t help the voice in her head, asking, “Is Y/N here? Is she safe?”
But you were nowhere to be found, and she had promised to scour the world for you later
Thanos was defeated, but it was in exchange for the lives of Tony and Natasha
With a heavy heart, everyone attended their funerals, all grieving the loss of two of their comrades, friends
At the funeral, Carol stood at the distance, watching behind everybody else
Behind her, Nick was there, and they exchanged solemn nods and opted to wait until the end of the funeral to reconnect
“You came,” was the first thing Fury said, after all those years that they haven’t seen each other
With a small chuckle, she nodded, “Don’t flatter yourself, I didn’t come because you called.”
“I know,” Fury retorted, amused, “You came because she called, right?”
Carol’s mouth opened, lips about to ask a question she had been dying to ask ever since she came back, but no words came out
When everything was chaos and adrenaline and fighting, Carol was not scared
But now that the dust has settled, she was terrified...because now there was no more excuse to avoid what her heart has been begging her to do
Before she could push the question out of her mouth, Fury handed her a piece of paper. “She’s off-duty. Gave her a whole damn month to recuperate from being wiped off the face of the planet.”
And when Carol unfolded the piece of paper, it was just an address
Nodding gratefully to Fury, Carol turned to leave, about to face her biggest obstacle yet
From what she could tell, it was a safehouse
Apparently, Y/N was someone high up the organization that they had warranted her one
Just a little cottage out on the countryside, a palace she had always wanted
Carol laughed whenever she remember you saying, “Maybe one day I could afford a little house in the middle of Kansas, meet Clark Kent and Lois Lane...I don’t know”
And here you were, at a small little house in the countryside
Carol watched you, almost ashamed to just be staring at you while you make yourself some breakfast
As she approached the porch, she wondered how she could take on the mad titan Thanos, but is now shaking as she brought her knuckles to knock on your door, extremities suddenly feeling cold, and knees wobbling to support her weight
She could barely hear your footsteps because of the blood rushing to her head, to her face, heart beating wildly
And when you opened the door, she noted how your eyes widened the tiniest bit, mouth opened in surprise when you realized who was on the other side
“Hi, Y/N,” was the first thing she croaked out
“You…” you smiled at her, “you changed your hair”
With a laugh, she nodded, running a hand through her short hair, before she let her hand down
Slowly counting to three
And engulfed you in a hug
Absolutely-swept-you-off-your-feet hug, your feet leaving the ground as her arms wound tightly across your waist, almost crushing you
And when you heard her inhale into the nape of your neck, it was like a reflex that you threw your arms around her neck, squeezing her just as tight
And Carol wanted to apologize, and confess, and plead for you to give her another chance
She wanted to tell you that she’s sorry for leaving, i was so confused and i was scared to come back and have you look me in the eye and tell me you don’t forgive me for what i did, but i have made peace with who i am and know what i want and what i want is you and your happiness and you and you
And she may have tried to make a letter to help her organize her thoughts
You held her shoulders back, looking at her, really looking at her, after all these years, and you use your thumbs to wipe away the tears running down her face as she shyly laughed at you and held your hands to her cheeks and kept it there for a second, relishing in your heat because you were finally here, after all this time, after 5 long years you are alive
And she brought your hands down and cupped your face and leaned in
And touched her lips to yours, gently, lovingly, finally
You can taste the saltiness of her tears, but also her apologies, and love, and devotion and you kissed her back, smiling
And as you pulled away, you wiped her tears again, before holding her hands, guiding Carol inside, “Let’s eat breakfast.”
And Carol Danvers, for once, was selfish, and did not think of the world needing her help, because she knows that the world would be fine if Carol stayed home for a while
And home is wherever you are
a/n: thank you so much for your support! i rly hope you like this ;__;
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ko-eko-ev-go-ms · 3 years ago
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I just internally scream
TFW you double check your stuff to make sure you’re doing things properly within the rules only to realize you misread the rules and have actually fucked everything up so your soul shrivels up and dies
#thoughts#oni talks#just continuing vent tags from the previous post dont mind me I just need to scream into the void for a bit#even worst case scenario where I just have to delay things with the amount of work I’ve done that feels fuckin disgraceful like#I feel genuinely ashamed of myself rn. If I was in a better mood/place I’d try to be optimistic and say oh hey maybe this happened for a#reason or maybe I can use this as an excuse to improve things or do a better job idfk. but k no. that’s not where I’m at rn. and I’m not#sure I can even get there. could it have been a theoretically worse mistake? absolutely. especially if I hadn’t discovered this when I did.#but once again that does not change how emotionally devastated I am rn. luckily mentally I’ve been pretty healthy so I’m not like in danger#but like idk it’s pushing it depending on how things go from here. not like in a serious way but in a I could get worse way. not extremely#I have no one to blame but myself in this scenario and like granted I probably wouldn’t blame anyone else anyway. but like the sheer weight#of this singular god damn mistake is just. wow. I feel like I’m in some weird cruel twist of fate. or like a nightmare#I wanna rationalize this into oh hey maybe it’s a good thing and maybe the failure is good maybe i needed to get delayed#But just. even if that’s true I still feel like shit. It’s probably not emotionally healthy to beat myself up about it but man I gotta vent#I haven’t felt this much sense of failure in a very long time. like in terms of as a result of something I specifically did not just general#I’m like how am I even gonna cope with this. if I find out there’s no way to fix this then like. what am I gonna do? how the heck do I cope#with something like this? maybe I’m having a bigger emotional reaction than is warranted. but like this means a lot to me I thought I had#things under control like yeah I’ve been struggling a little lately but I fully believed in my ability to handle things and making this#kind of egregious error makes me feel like I was wrong. I’m not in a bad enough place for it to send me into a giant spiral but this still#feels really big and really bad and it’s definitely like staring at the edge of a cliff like you’re not close enough to jump but you can see#where how far it goes. I forgot to mention in this theres like a glass wall which is why you can’t jump but yeah. Like the urge to just#crash rn is like not doing me any favors. once again not in a bad way but in the can I take a break from everyone ever for like 3 months way#like even if this is worst case scenario I still wanna fast forward through the shittiest parts that I know will happen. it’s honestly very#difficult to face the fact that I can’t just sleep through all of this like I gotta be responsible and shit. I am. screaming. i feel like on#some level I should have seen this coming. like not just bc birthday but bc things were going not even suspiciously well exactly but like#in the way that in a story there’s foreshadowing? but you can only see it once you know that’s what it’s referencing? liek I feel like there#has to be something I can do to fix this but I don’t think there is? I sent an email to see as a last ditch effort if it’s possible. but#realistically I don’t think it’s gonna happen which means I’ll have to face the consequences of my utter failure to do things properly.#I feel guilty as hell because it’s not just me involved. like ok I didn’t actively hurt anyone with my mistake which hasn’t always been the#case with (usually smaller) mistakes. but i still did negative effects. and I’m just bracing for the consequences of tht tbh#if the worst case scenario is what I have to do. what the hell am I even gonna do with myself? like I guess there’s stuff I could do
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mimzy-writing-online · 4 years ago
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Hello. I had a question regarding your post about blind characters. I have a character in my WIP that must cover their eyes.. but it’s blind. He may need to tell people he is blind to explain why he covers his eyes though. I was wondering how I might write this character without offending. Thank you :)
I think I want to start by explaining the “covering blind eyes” trope and why it has become a harmful trope. I think understanding why it’s hurtful helps everyone learn how to handle it better.
I would guess that the “blind people wear sunglasses” trope comes from Hollywood for the specific reason of 1. wanting to signal to the audience that the character is obviously blind and 2. avoid breaking the suspension of disbelief by preventing the audience from catching the sighted actor look at visual stimuli (because disabled characters are almost always played by able actors).
But this changed the way the public expects to experience blindness. If watching a sighted actor wear sunglasses and say he’s blind is all the exposure to the blind community a person has had, that’s the only model of blindness they’ll recognize. If they meet a blind person in real life who doesn’t wear sunglasses, it’s going to break this built perception and cause an uncomfortable cognitive dissonance. 
And then there is the common “cloudy-white blank gaze” that pops up in media. It stems from the fact that cataracts is the most common cause of blindness and the appearance of severe cataracts is a cloudy film in the eyes obscuring the iris and pupil. It can also alter what color a person’s eyes appears to be, making them appear paler and grey in the beginning and then as the cataract advances it becomes more yellow/brown and alters a person’s vision to appear more yellow tinted.
There are lots of other eye conditions that makes the eyes look visibly different. Albinism for instance affects the color and structure of the iris. Eyes might be congenitally misshapen. The muscles might be weak or not work and one or both eyes point significantly outward. Someone who was born blind and experienced no visual stimuli might also have weak muscles around their eyes because they never had a reason to focus their eyes on anything.
And unfortunately humans have the habit of feeling uncomfortable when they meet someone who looks very obviously different from the norm, whether that’s a personal style choice (hair color and style, tattoos, clothing choices) or something they can’t help (a visible disability, skin color, scars). 
To the paragraph above, @gothhabiba replied with:  “it's very weird & ahistorical to claim that racism or ableism are some kind of natural "human" trait.. like frankly it's apologia”
You’re right, I wasn’t thinking beyond that generalization or assumption.
Perhaps a better way to put it is: I was raised in a society where I was taught from childhood to think that there was only one kind of human being to be. White, cis, straight, abled, conservative. That’s a very western thing and that’s a thing I’m going to constantly be unlearning.
Racism and ableism and homophobia aren’t innate, that’s a western thing that was forced onto the rest of the world by colonialism. And because western media created this idea that the world is white, abled, cis, straight, and Christian-value leaning, it taught people to think that was the norm so that seeing someone different from that archetype would cause a cognitive dissonance, which causes discomfort.
And instead of working past that cognitive dissonance to learn more and realize there’s so much more to life than media taught you, society encourages you to ignore that cognitive dissonance by sticking your head in the sand-- or TV screen.
So combine these two tropes or common beliefs together and you get something a little dangerous: the idea that blind people cover their eyes because they look obviously different and they’re ashamed (or should be ashamed) of that.
And if you’re someone who’s just gone blind or who was born blind and you have little to no contact with the blind community, then this societal belief that you should be ashamed of how your eyes look becomes detrimental to your self-esteem and further builds internalized ableism.
I’ve lost count of the times I’ve read or watched a blind character cover their eyes with sunglasses because they were ashamed of how their eyes looked. And I distinctly remember a few times where a sighted friend of the character was trying to convince them to stop wearing sunglasses because there’s nothing wrong with looking different--which is true, but it plays into this fantasy of being the perfect abled ally who saves the blind character from being miserable. 
In an ideal world, the character has no reason to believe looking different is a bad thing or diminishes their worth or makes people dislike them. And if they develop this belief, it’s more likely that someone more involved in the disabled community, most likely someone disabled themselves, will set them straight. Or that the character will learn to accept themselves on their own, looks included.
But there are some perfectly valid reasons for any blind person to wear sunglasses. They might have an interest in fashion and sunglasses complete the look they’re going for. They could want to protect their eyes from UV rays while they’re outside. They may experience light sensitivity and sunglasses reduces any discomfort or pain. Those are incredibly common reasons to wear sunglasses whether you’re sighted or blind.
But there are some more complicated situations.
In your words, your character must cover his eyes. You never specified why, so my primary guess is that he has some kind of power that is unpleasant or has devastating affects and the only way to prevent it is to keep his eyes covered. My primary guess stems from this post where an anon and I discussed a retelling of Medusa, a hypothetical blinding of oneself to avoid ever killing anyone ever again, and what I think I would do if I was in that scenario.
So how do you write a blind character who must cover their eyes and avoid some of the complications?
1. Your character must always have the ability to say “fuck off, it’s my business, I don’t have to tell you why I’m blind or why I cover my eyes.”
Most blind people really, really don’t want to get into the nitty-gritty of why they’re blind and how they feel about it and what it’s like being blind with a stranger they’ll never see again or a new acquaintance they don’t know well yet. You have exceptions to that rule where sure, educating the public about blindness is a thing you want to do and you’re committed to helping your community, but I still have days where I don’t want to talk about being blind or disclose my medical crap.
And if someone doesn’t respect their right to their privacy or pushes too much, the blind character is allowed to be angry, is allowed to tell them off and complain without anyone else in the situation vilifying them or saying they’re “overreacting” and “should have just disclosed private information because big deal or whatever.” If they are angry, that’s their right, and it’s not unreasonable, it doesn’t make them a bad person.
2. Your character should not be ashamed of being blind or of covering their eyes. It is a part of their life, they’re used to it by now, even if they weren’t in the beginning.
The shame and internalized ableism is something that should be written about, but that’s for an own-voices story with a blind author. I don’t think an abled person will ever be able to understand how much society expects you to hate yourself and your disability because “being disabled is a tragic thing that ruins your life” and how that does affect your mental health, self esteem, your relationships with others, your medical care, and what kind of accommodations you can get.
3. It wouldn’t hurt to have a few sarcastic lines in response to uncomfortable conversations.
Stranger: so what’s with the...
Blind Character: what’s with what?
S: the... you know
BC: you’re gonna have to be a bit more specific
S: Your eyes?
BC: They’re... eyes
S: but you’re...
BC: Blind?
S: uh...
BC: yeah, I’m blind. *walks away*
Or this conversation:
S: *to some other character* so why are his eyes covered?
(author’s note: which, honestly, that’s fucking rude. At least have the guts to ask me yourself)
BC: If I look anyone in the eye they instantly perish.
*awkward silence*
BC: instantly.
Friend: It’s truly tragic
BC: *melancholic* that’s how I lost my sister. *chokes up* She was so young
Or this conversation:
S: Why are you wearing that?
BC: It’s called fashion Karen!
Or this conversation:
S: are you like... blind?
BC: yes?? why wouldn’t I be?? Wait, are you sighted? Are you one of those sighted people? You poor thing! What caused you to gain your sight? Do you have a car? A bike? Were you born sighted? What’s it like to see color? Do you miss not having to see 
God, I want a chance to try that last one. I haven’t interacted with a stranger in almost a year. One day...
4. Honestly, it’d also be cool if someone’s reaction to your character covering their eyes was like, “cool sunglasses,” or “cool *insert random character, even one you made up* cosplay,” (which is ten times funnier if this character is a notable figure in modern society like an actor who people might cosplay). 
5. You know, if he’s covering his eyes with some kind of blindfold, he should totally have custom blindfolds for his moods. Like, I have a mask that says “suck it up buttercup” and another that says “not today” because sometimes that’s the mood. And sometimes the mood is one of my floral masks, and sometimes the mood is my cat mask.
So, just some thoughts. I hope that helps.
Edit: a commenter said: “op, unless i'm mistaken this kind of reads like anon meant the character ISN'T blind but lies about being blind to explain covering their eyes? it seems like they made a typo on the word "isn't"”
So my original response to the question was based on the assumption that the character is blind. However,
If the character is not blind, then do not under any circumstances have them lie and say they’re blind to escape a mild inconvenience. 
It’s better to have the character actually explain the situation or straight up leave the conversation or invent a more ridiculous lie than to perpetuate the very real stereotype and misconception that there are people who fake being blind and therefore it’s okay to discriminate or harass them if you even suspect they’re faking.
Do not under any circumstances perpetuate that stereotype. Do not harass someone because you don’t think they’re blind enough.
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changlix-mp4 · 4 years ago
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BANG CHRISTOPHER CHAN ♡ : A TO Z - ( NSFW )
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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
well , we all know how caring he is?
he is so dad , caring , like yea daddy ( sorry ksjsk )
ok for real ,
I think he is the type to wait a little bit , to let you both calm down , holding you into his arms
after cleaning you up
he’s gonna be soft with you
treat you right huh
little caresses and all
he is so affectionate , he’s so adorable ,, I want to hug him forever 
*crying session is open*
I definitively can see him wanting to cuddle you afterwards
he would lay his head on your chest at first , wanting you to play with his soft curly hair
NATURAL CURLY HAIRED CHAN SUPERIOR , BARE WITH ME
after awhile , he would put your head on his chest and his turn , he would play with your hair
holding you close with his hand on your waist until you both fall asleep
c u t e .
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Well , before I start ,,
Chan said he loves his dimples when he smiles ,, well same
SO
I think Chan’s favourite body part are his dimples and his whole body? I mean I don’t really know, and I can’t really explain , but the fact that he works out and take care of his body ,,
he prob likes his arms aswell ( anyways , I do )
For his partner , he’d prob likes ,, oh no ,, loves your thighs , the skin so soft , smooth  ( so sexc sksj ) ,, he loves the fact that they’re not too slim and skinny . He also likes your plump lips , so kissable and soft and your tummy uwu
knowing Chan , I bet this boy loves every parts of your body
I know y’all don’t care , but
I love Chan’s veiny arms , his hands omfg choke me daddy , his cheeks , his hair , his smile omg, well … EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM ! His dimples are my weakness bye.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)
not the greatest taste?
but more liquidy and not sticky gross
so I-
I think it’s fine to swallow it?
he thinks it’s hot when you do this
but he’s not the type to want you to do things that make you uncomfortable
If you don’t want to swallow it , then don’t do it
If you want to , just do it
you’ll just make him moan at the sight before him
he likes loves to cum inside
it’s his fav place
when he doesn’t cum inside you
he would cum on your thighs ( because he loves them asf )
and your stomach too
but not on your face
you both find it gross so it’s a big no no
and it’s more embarrassing than sexy so , NO
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
chan is actually pretty open about his kinks?
he’s a dom ( we all know it jk )
act like he knows what he’s doing
but sometimes it’s not the case
actually there is one thing he’ll probably never admit
he acts like he wants to do all the job
the one who control
but daddy he wants to feel special sometimes
that’s why he f loves when you want to take control
he’d act like he doesn’t want to , but boy inside is burning with excitments & anticipation
I also think chan is the type to use your underwear when he jacks off
the thought of you in them, really turns him on
he’s just a bit ashamed to steal some panties of yours he loves a lot
ohh and he really wants to try fingering you in a public place
like in a restaurant? , library
He’s nervous about bringing it up tho. It’s a thought that he jacks off to sometimes
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
not really experienced.
chris is super hot , well build , really charming , polite and all
let’s just say perfect ( I’m not even exaggerating )
everyone want to get in his pants
but
I’m pretty sure chan is a virgin ,,
I mean , he prob just saw a few porns
my boy is really intelligent so
he just learn very fast skjsl
but yea ,,
and plus , he was a trainee since he was young , 14?
being under jyp had its own restrictions
and I don’t think he needed that and he had time for that
busy man *sigh*
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. will probably include a visual)
I don’t think he is very demanding
chan is someone very simple , understanding , he’s just not complicated
not someone hard to please
so I think ,
he enjoys the traditional one ( lmao ) missionary?
he also enjoys doggy style too
he can pulls on your hair to lift you up and have your back against his chest
in this position he can put his hand on your stomach and your neck to slighty squeeze it
AND
he loves when you ride him
boy gets harder than he was ,, as hard as a rock
is that possible??
this position makes him horny asf
he finds it f hot
he loves the fact that he can see your pretty face making yourself feels good
with this position he can see your face when you orgasm
he can easily kiss your neck , make hickeys
he can holds you and yea ,,
he can do a lot of things with this position ( hell yea )
but like I said chan is a super easy person to please
missionary is his fav one
he actually finds it very confortable for the both of you
very soft in a way and romantic
making love uwu
depends of the situation obv;)
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
Chan is a goofy person
I mean is so giggly most of the time
ma babey!!!
he loves to tease , oh yea he does
he can be the type to laugh during sex , if you make a joke ( yea why not lmao )
if you’re uncomfortable , he’d try to make you feel better
so he’d try to make jokes ,if his first option of consolling you doesn’t work
if you guys feel like laughing , you’ll do
looking into your eyes and smiling at each other
c u t e
ngl he can get pretty serious
again , it depends of the mood
when he’s frustrated , angry , tired..
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
I’m pretty sure
he is not bare down there ,,
veeeryy well groomed
doesn’t shave it all off, simply trims, all nice and neat
the amount of hair isn’t too crazy
armpits shaved , he feels more confortable and clean
guys , this boy armpits is cleaner than my whole face tf
happy trail shaved since
TOO MUCH TUMMY FLASHES
but wants to keep his happy trail ,, maybe??
ughhh I want him to keep it bcs damn this is so hot
please hear me out daddy chris
i want to suck hug him
but honestly I feel like
he can go natural when he has the choice?
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
he is so caring
so very romantic
he is a passionate man and he shows it through many ways
we all know it
ahhh I love this man sfm
but sometimes he can be rough
not too much but it depends of his mood
I mean he is daddy so sometimes he feels like he have to show his daddyness lmao i just cringed help me ughhh
he feels like he have to show his dominance sometimes
but when I say rough
it’s not something really wild x)
even when he’s rough
he controls himself
and make sure to check if you’re alright
tbh rough sex happends very very very rarely
but it makes it more special ,, x)
he cares a lot about you
i think he’s more into vanilla sex
yeaa I’m sure he is sooo into it
I mean c u t e
I mean I want him to make love to me!! lord forgive me
he is naturally sweet and adorable so
lord I’m so in love with this man <3
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
he doesn’t do it often
only when he really is alone
especially if you are not around
when he’s really frustrated he also tends to jack off
and one of the reasons why he doesn’t really masturbate
it’s just because he’s constantly around the boys
and my boy is a really hardworking man
well , like I said before he doesn’t do it often
probably once or twice a week? Or not at all the week
it’s when he really needs some reliefs
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
chris is kinky , PERIOD .
y’all can’t deny it
• daddy kink for sure , no doubt ahah
he said it himself sooooo
he’s daddy material tho lmao
he gets turn on when he is being called daddy sometimes
if you call him daddy in public he will get a light boner for sure
guess what will happen next;)
BUT it’s not a need !
he doesn’t want to be called that every time you guys have sex
•maybe roleplay
teacher x student / doctor x patient or stuff like that ( I think he can prob play both, that boy is a switch )
I think he’s definitively not into hardcore bondage ( sorry ) but doesn’t mind to blindfold you
•edging : giving and receiving
he loves the way he can make you whine and scream when he’s overstimulating you
BUT that is only for pleasure and not for torture
•praise kink: giving and receiving
he thinks it’s somehow important
•biting kink : both giving and receiving
he likes feeling you bite down on his skin when he fucks you
he also loves it when you moan out for him as he nips at your skin
thinks hickeys are sexy ( and tf yes they are )
•so marking kink: giving and receiving ,,
it makes him horny when you give him hickeys out of nowhere
and he loves it when you do it while he makes love to you
but most of time he is the one giving them to you
loves leaving hickeys and little bruises on your hips , neck , collarbones , stomach and thighs ( your whole body should be decorated by his soft lips skjsk )
having hickies and love bites on his neck and collarbones
he loves his back being scratched
likes seeing the scraches on his back in the mirror
oh my gosh imagine what it looks like when he takes a shower ,, the water cascading over the red marks omg help me I’m-
since I think he likes thighs ( idk why but yea)
•THIGH RIDING is a big YES
his muscular thighs!!
he likes it when you wear strockings // it’s so fucking hot
•impreg kink tho it’s so sexy and cute damn <3
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
chan is not picky , he’s a simple guy
the bedroom is perfect
why? because it’s confortable
AND secure , intimate
it’s somehow warm and all
but the rest of the house is ok tho
kitchen ( but very rarely bcs you guys feel like it’s not very hygienic but it happens only when one of you are reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally horny and impatient)
living room : couch , carpet ,, shower sex is one of his fav
bath sex with chan is a concept
he’s not into public places
he wants thing to be confortable and intimate ,, that’s why he prefers doing it at home
Or maybe omg
s t u d i o
one of his fav for sure!!
he loves having sex with you in his studio ,, hot
having you riding him slowly
or cockwarming while he’s working ( arg stop me )
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
kisses by his ears and down his neck
his ears seem to be really sensitive hehe
he really likes when you trace his veins with your fingertips ( it also turns you on , ugh it’s like i’m talking about me *moan * )
seeing you in his clothes really turns him on aswell
when you stroke his hair , like when you’re sitting on his lap and run your fingers through it , pulling at the strands a little ( goosebumps kskjs)
but ngl he can get turn on by you whatever you do lmaao
just smile , just breath , boy is turn on ( jk .. unless ahah)
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
anything that involves bodily matter or fluids that are not sperm or vaginal fluid
he does not like degradation , it’s a big NO !
He would never ever degrade you! He likes and respect his girl too much to talk down to her ,, chan is a gentleman . He expects you to treat him the same btw
AH!! sharing you sexually . Don’t even think about it
things like threesomes and all, aren’t his thing
anything that involves violence too
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
he f loves it when you go down on him kissing him from his neck all along his collarbones , abs ,, running your hands on his torso
it pleases him to hit the back of your throat ,, but stay careful to not hurt you
he loves the sight of you inbetween his legs
he likes threading his fingers through your hair ,, pulling at it a little
but my man chan is one of the few blessings on this planet
he equally loves both : giving and receiving
he likes pleasuring you ,, looking at you from between your legs seeing you rolling your eyes in the back of your head , throwing your head back
seeing the way your eyesbrows frown , biting you lips
seeing how you clunch at the sheets , and pulling at his hair ,,making him moans at the sensation and at how sexy you look like
oof this is so sexy I want to disapear helpsk
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? Etc.)
he can be rough y’know not really hard and fast but yea it depends of his mood
he is the one controlling the pace
even when you ride him , he’d place his hands on your waist/ hips to guild you
but I think he’s more into sensual things
he’d be slow and sensual
really slow when he wants to tease the sh^t out of you
he’d be gentle obv
y’know into vanilla sex
Idk why people think he seems to be into really rough things but I DON’T THINK it’s actually the case
my babie is so soft behind all those muscles uwuuuu
Q= Quickie ( Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex and how often? )
No, quickies mainly have to be done in a risky area and that freaks him out so no
plus he hates feeling rushed.
he’s not the biggest fan but he def. won’t turn you down if you suggest it
he won’t push you away for sure
He finds it kinda hot because it mainly means you are needy for him.
Would rather have proper sex. He likes taking his time so quickies aren’t ideal.
On the very unlikely occasion he’d go for a quickie it would definitely have to be in a place he would never get caught
R= Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks?)
He is not that risky, he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you or to get caught in a sexual act
He has his own boundaries
He is prob open to try new things
he just needs to be convinced first but mainly just to tease you. He wants you to give him reasons
ngl i think he doesn’t know a lot of different kinks and stuffs so he is probably quite open for experimenting ,, curious boy
As long as none of them involve pure pain and violence he’s good.
S= Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)
I don’t think I really need to write something for this one? He has a good stamina and can last a long time. I think he starts really slow at the beginning and then uses more force and speed after a while .
SO all night bcs of his crazy stamina , I mean he is pretty athletic so , but again DEPENDS of the day and mood
making love all night , taking his sweet time my fucking heart is beating so fast omgg
doesn’t get tired easily i think ; I mean boy can’t even fall asleep irl
BUT don’t get me wrong he can go for rounds but makes time to appreciate your presence and enjoy having conversations with you , y’know?
So prob tried to not go too crazy bcs he wants to spend time with you afterwards get me
If i have to say the numbers of rounds i’d say 3-5 rounds max . Again , it would depends on his mood and pace
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
Definitely NOT a toy user
he’s not into it at all
a vibrator is what he will use ONLY if you ask him to ( I think you must really insist if you want it )
he def prefers tease you with his fingers , cock but not objects
it’s skin against skin for him ,bye.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
lmao we all know he is a fcking tease
sometimes , I think it comes to him naturally and it’s apart of his personality
he finds it so cute when you’re frustrated ,blushing and super shy ahah ( my body is burning just thinking about him teasing skjls)
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
L O U D.
I mean , please listen to 3RACHA songs , he’s pratically moaning ( that’s so sexy tho *moan*)
deep , or high pitched ( lord help me ) soft grunts
moans , groans , breathy moan ( does not scream that’s it )
please just imagine when he’s getting close and makes those sounds
( i’m the one horny rn , brb imma fix my problem lmao )
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
he loves to hold your hand while you two are having sex ( uwu I’m so in love )
enjoys strip teases. Whether it’s giving or receiving ( lord , imagine him getting rid of his clothes slowly and looking straight into your eyes , biting his lips .. I’M NOT OKAY!!)
loves it when you hold his head while he gives you oral , pulling at his locks
fucking loves buying cute and sexy ( not vulgar ones) lingerie sets for you
not necessarily for sex , he just loves admiring the way you look in black or red lingeries ( or even pastel colors )
he just lives for the moments when you dress up for him , only for him
like knowing he’s the only one who sees
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
long and thick. veiny
6-7 inches
( please i just took a ruler to look at the length , the way i moaned i’m-)
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
normal?, average. 1-3 times a week
but he doesn’t need to have sex every week to stay satisfied
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
depends on how long you two were having sex
of course after a proper after care.
but would rather hold you for a moment , talking with you , making you laugh and smile. It means a lot for him , want to enjoy the warmth of your bodies against each other.
c u d d l e  to sleep. uwu cute
---------
A/N : sorry I wrote a lot , it wasn’t supposed to be this long 😭 // FEEDBACKS ARE VERY WELCOMED ♡ taglist :@justamessofablog @mermaidshmari || since you guys asked to be tagged here you are lovelies 💕🥺 ||
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gb-patch · 4 years ago
Text
Ask Answers: July 10th
I really let asks get away from me lately. I was super focused on working on that Patreon Moment. With that done I can finally think about doing other things, so here’s a new collection of answers!
Thank you for sending in questions everyone ^^.
For the new Patreon moment, will you be able to reference it in step 4? Or just like a tiny nod to it if you pick certain choices?
There won’t be. I’m sorry if you were hoping for that! The Patreon moment is meant to be entirely optional, it’s not something that gets you extra content in the main game.
Is the new CG artist the main one now? :0 I’ve noticed theres been a difference in the art style recently. Is the old CG artist still going to make art for the game? :0
The original artist still makes CGs for the game sometimes, but he mainly focuses on character sprites.
Are you going to put the NSFW our life moment on a website other than patreon? I would love to get it but I can't use patreon atm.
I don’t know. I'm afraid we can't release the Patreon Moment on a normal game storefront because we can't mix 18+ content with our family friendly game. If there's some other place similar to Patreon where it's not the normal type of full-scale public content releases we'd consider using that, but I’m not sure if there is another site that’s better than Patreon in that regard. I'm sorry.
Out of curiosity, in all of your games so far, which characters in each were the most fun to write? They obviously don't have to be your favorite characters!
Buffalo Seer in AFA, really everyone in XOD/XOBD is pretty equally entertaining to write, The Guide in LoV, and Cove in OL!
idk if you accept "personal" questions, but is there anything you've been watching/ listening to lately
Mostly, I’ve been watching/listening to Authortube videos as of late! It’s people who talk generally about the process of how books become traditionally published and/or share their own experience as they attempt to be published. I don’t have an interest in writing normal text based books, but it’s really interesting to hear about that world. I’m listening to a video about royalties right now as I answer these asks.
Will one of the desserts we get to pick be fudge? That'd be such a cute reference! 
Haha, yeah, it should. Unless I completely blank on it and forget when trying to include the various referential food options.
I don't know if this has been asked previously but what would be the approximate heights for the presets MC can choose from Step 2 ~ 4? Are there any measurement you had in mind? Sorry if I didn't make myself clear kk I've been struggling with my English lately 💀 
I don’t know, ahah. I didn’t have any numbers in mind for that. So it’s whatever you imagine it is!
I noticed a bug with the Patreon moment when it comes to what your character wears. When Jamie and Cove are kissing while my character only had dresses selected, I had both the option to remove the dress or to remove the shirt... Picking one of the options to interact with Cove, after he removed his shirt, it had Jamie remove their shirt followed by ther pants despite only having dresses picked. 
Thank you for reporting ^^
I keep refreshing steam to see when the new doc for xobd will be released. I noticed you haven't posted anything about it in quite some time. Would it be possible to ask about a timeline/potential date? (If it's even this year—) I know you and your team are probably working super hard, I'm just super curious! ~Thank you!~ 
There are more stories done, I just haven’t gotten around to publicly releasing them. Hopefully I will have a chance to spend the time on that sooner rather than later!
hello!! i’m not sure if it’s an update but i’ve just replayed our life and at the end i can’t propose to cove anymore? :(( i’ve actually tried playing twice but the options are not there anymore, did you guys remove the options? i’m sorry if you’ve answered this before!! thank you and have a good one :) 
I’m afraid things haven’t been changed or removed, so I think you might’ve accidentally picked the wrong things somewhere along the way and locked yourself out of being able to propose by mistake. Sometimes you meant to say you want to get married but instead you mis-click and have it so the MC isn’t thinking about marriage or something. All I can suggest is starting from the beginning of Step 3 and making sure to follow the steps listed in the FAQ. I’m sorry for that.
Did yall remove some of the options for when youre making out with Cove in the charity moment? I could've sworn you could grab his bonkadonk and its not there anymore 
This is the same situation as the above. We didn’t remove things and you’re not wrong that there are sometimes those options. But there are various choices you have to make to get those options and it sounds like you accidentally missed something. If your relationship isn’t long-term, you can’t do it for example.
HI IM SO EXCITED I CAN FINALLY GET THE STEP 3 DLC 
Thank you for getting it!
Is Shiloh super totally straight bc I’m very gay and a huge Shiloh fan, would my man make an exception?😩
Sadly, he is one of our super straight characters. I’m sorry.
Hi, I have a very dumb question. In Step 2 does Cove not wanna share his drink with us at the mall (or rather why he stops drinking it) because it's an indirect kiss? Or is it like ...weird to him to share? Because if I remember right he eats off our spoon in the birthday scene right? 
Yeah, he’s awkward about it because he likes the MC and it feels very personal to share a straw with his crush.
Hi! If you don't mind me asking, who is the artist for OL2? Their style is so pretty! 
Thank you for saying so! This is her Twitter- https://twitter.com/redridingheart
Do Beginnings & Always and Now & Forever exist in the same universe? 
Yep! XOXO Droplets also exists in the same universe. It’s one big GB Patch world, haha.
Do Pran's parents regret the way they raised him? Do they feel ashamed of it?
No. They’re the type of people best cut out because they’re not gonna change. Which is why Pran does go very limited contact when he’s an adult.
Hi! I just wrapped up my second playthrough of Our Life, and I absolutely adore it, but I had a question. I went to the gallery and found I was missing 2 CGS (specifically Step 1-3 and 2-3) and I had no clue where they would've shown up. Which moments are those found in? 
You get it by telling Cove about his dad offering you money to be his friend in Step 1 and Step 2. You can’t get both in one playthrough, since you can only tell Cove the truth once. I’m really glad you liked it!
Hi hi! Please, how tall is Baxter and Derek? Love the game so much and I can't wait to see more! 
I don’t know, aha. I think Baxter was around 5′10 and Derek was like 5′8/5′9, maybe. I really am not one who has specific heights for things in mind.
is adult cove a bottom, top, or switch? 
A switch, though would choose the top if he had to pick.
I was wondering if there is a way to transfer save data? Even if through the game files. I wanted to be able to transfer my save data from my desktop over to my laptop so that I could continue playing right where I left off from but I'm not entirely sure how to go about that. 
If you save the save folder/persistent data of the game from your desktop and put it into the game folder on your other device, that could work.
Hi! Is it possible for us to know the date when our life: now and forever comes out on steam? Sorry if you've mentioned it before but I haven't seen it and I'm looking foward to that happening and just wanted to know :) 
It’s gonna be a long time, I’m afraid. There’s no estimate right now.
I started playing Our Life with my sister a while ago, and I think you guys should know that we discovered your secret. >:)
L from death note and Cove are clearly the same person, and this whole game is just an origin story!!
I’ve never seen that show so I’m sorry to say I don’t understand the connection/reference you’re trying to make. I’m pretty out of the loop when it comes to media. I don’t watch movies or TV.
Will OL2 have options for disabled MCs?
I understand if it's too complicated, just curious
Unfortunately, it’s not really something we have a plan for. We couldn’t finish the game if we tried to include every disability and have it be meaningful. It’d just be too much content to create. But if we decide to only include a few, how would we choose which disabilities get to be represented and which are left out? I don’t know. It’ll probably have to be something we don’t include as an option again, sadly. I’m sorry.
playing our life > anything else 
Haha, I’m glad you’re enjoying it.
Honestly, I would like to thank Our Life for helping me come to terms with my sexuality. Before, I never would've actually thought that it was possible to like boys romantically and still be asexual. Almost all of the BL visual novels I've read had unskippable sexual content in them and it honestly just didn't click with what I feel. I'm glad I found Our Life. I love the game, the developers, and this fandom so much. Now, I can safely come out as homoromantic AND asexual (at least anonymously here anyway; my parents are still huge homophobes 😂). 
Aw, it’s great to hear you felt comfortable being yourself in the game! That’s wonderful. I’m really sorry about your parents, though.
Will the demo for OL2 be on android? Really not sure if I could wait any longer than I have to aha 
Yeah, it’ll be available for Android once we eventually release a demo!
Do all these reveals perhaps mean development is progressing ahead of schedule? Please let that be the case I'm already obsessed with Qiu 
No, sorry, aha. Art comes along much faster than script/programming-work for us. It’s gonna be a long time before the game is a finished thing you can actually play. But at least we can look at the beautiful images.
Hey! First of all I wanna say I reallllllyyyyy loooovvveeee Our Life and XOXO Droplets! I have over 300 hours of playtime on Our Life… Anyways, I was just wondering, are the Derek and Baxter DLCs going to come out at the same time? If not, which one do you plan to release first? :3 
They will come out separately and Derek will be first! Glad you like the game.
I keep replaying Our Life to get every possible iteration and I am loving it <3 I was wondering if Cove gets locked out of his confession because MC was talking to Lee, would it be possible to confess to him in step 4? 
Yeah, you can avoid the confession in Step 3 and then get it in Step 4.
Hi, my Cove wears bracelets through step 2 and 3 but I still don't get an option to give him a bracelet? I didn't even know that was possible until I seen someone else ask about it lol 
Hm, did you use the Cove creator? Maybe there’s a bug where using the creator to add bracelets doesn’t fulfill the requirement to give Cove a bracelet in Step 3.
Wait, I'm dense, when does Baxter appear in step 2? Is it from big park firework? I feel so bad since i really love Baxter and waiting to buy his dlc. 
It’s in the Soiree Moment. You have to be just friends with Cove, indifferent, or crushing but not ask Cove to the dance at all. Then while there you can find someone new to dance with. But if you bring Cove to the dance while crushing, the MC won’t wanna dance with anyone else so you can’t get the scene.
In step 2 when we go to the soiree I made my mc go alone and baxter chooses the mc to dance, i'm curious, why did he pick the mc? sorry if this has been asked before! 
Because the MC looked to be around his age, seemed to also be searching for a partner, and had nice legs. A perfect option for him.
I read some of the FAQs, and I saw that we could tell Baxter about the condo that he rented there was previously the mean old grandparents. how do we get the mc to tell him that? 
It happens in the DLC Moment “Late Shift”. If you don’t have a job you instead get a longer scene with Baxter.
I don’t know if you’ve addressed this or not, but are you planning on paying voice actors for our life: now and forever? 
Yeah, we pay our VAs in all our projects.
hey can i ask how you did the moments thing in ol? im trying to get into making visual novels and while im VERY sure its out of my comfort zone and all that atm i kinda wanna know just for the future, bc im p sure it would work well for something i wanna do :O but its also fine if you cant say for other reasons :> 
I’m afraid I’m not sure what you mean. Are you asking how we programmed the screen or something script related? Adding Moments like that is pretty straightforward, though. You just have buttons that open to different labels and then the scripts are essentially individual short stories/vignettes. Good luck with your VN!
Since Autumn becomes gender fluid later in the game, will there be a character who remains as he/him to romance in game? 
OL1 has the he/him LIs, OL2 is all about other genders.
I don't want to impose on your creative plans, but a parrot could possibly make a good pet in an OL-type game? They're pretty long-lived and likely to still be thriving by the end even if the MC got them back in step 1. 
I do appreciate the suggestion, but I’m afraid it’s not likely going to happen. I understand there are technically some animals that could theoretically live long enough to last the whole game that or we could have the MC only get a pet after some years have already passed. But the many things that would have to be considered/accommodated for makes it just something we probably can’t manage adding. I’m sorry.
As time passes will we be able to see Qiu and Tamarack's other stage arts as well?
They are both so cute i can't wait to be friends with them!
Yeah, we’ll show content from other Steps in the future. It’ll be a little while from now, though.
Can you date Cove and still have your family comfort you in the car?
You can’t get Cove’s Step 3 confession scene if you have the family comfort you in the car. But that’s not the only way to date him. You can get together with him earlier in the game or later on in Step 4.
Is Mc always going to be the one walking down the aisle or could Cove do it? Also could you choose to have one of your moms walk you? 
No. Cove wouldn’t want to walk down the aisle like that and the MC automatically respects that. And the MC also gets to have their preferences respected, so it’s up to you whether they want to do an aisle walk or not. You also can pick who, if anyone, walks with you.
Once step 4 is out, will you be able to go the whole game on crush/love without either of you confessing? 
Yes, as long as you tell the game you don’t want to progress the relationship. Even in Step 4 it won’t force you to officially get together.
Howdy, so in Step 4, there will be any Romance with Derek that is not part of any dlc? 
He’s only a friend unless you get his romance story.
Will the step 4 in OL2 be one big step or are you considering moments? 
Step 4 is just an epilogue in both games.
hi kind of a weird question but!! we know tht cliff doesn't start dating again but. wht abt flings? like does he ever do 1 night stands or anything? thank u!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Nope. Cliff has a very small interest in sex. If he’s not in a real relationship with a partner he’s crazy about it simply isn’t something he feels a need for, so one night stands wouldn’t even cross his mind.
sorry if you've already answered this, but i was wondering if there were plans for there to be bonus love interests in OL2 like how we have derek and baxter in OL1.
Maybe! There are side characters who could be given romance stories, but whether or not it will happen depends on funding and how long everything else takes to finish.
I don't know if i'm allowed to ask about ol2 here yet, if not u can ignore this or answer it later. My question is can you date one of them and be good friends with the other? I don't want to be strangers with the other bcs i love them both a lot :<
Yes you can!
what patreon level do i have to be to unlock the nsfw moment? im on the $5 one right now, will that give me access to the moment, or just access to the moment progress? 
That’ll give you access! Tier 2 and anything higher allows the player to download it.
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rotting-hpd · 2 years ago
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2, 3, 14, and 60 for the ask game !!!
Thank you for asking!
2: When did you realize you had HPD?
I realized this year after I started becoming aware that I was extending arguments with my partner solely so I could get attention. I considered I might have HPD but blocked it out bc I (ironically) thought I was just trying to get attention from having another pd bc I already have BPD. After a few months and the behaviors getting worse and realizing other behaviors were attention seeking, I started to look into it more seriously
3: What is your best trait from HPD?
Gonna be honest Idk what the question means by best. I’m still learning to appreciate my disorder and I’m currently seeking out treatment as I’ve had none so far. I don’t feel like any of my traits are particularly great djdndn
14: If you have HPD, what makes you feel good?
For me specifically, it’s compliments on my name. My name makes me feel really special and unique and I constantly get compliments on it, it’s my favorite thing. Also on my looks bc, like most histrionics, my looks mean a lot to me so when people compliment me it makes me feel amazing
60: Are you ashamed of having a pd?
I currently still am, yeah. I’m working on it but it’s really hard to come to terms with. I’ve known about my BPD for almost 2 years now, but HPD is a one I’ve only tried to come to terms with for 2 or 3 months. It’s a challenge but I’ll get there one day :]
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