#but do people really see me as useless? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

inthebackgroundscreaming · 2 years ago

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I’m so tired of being treated like absolute shit

#like why is it always me that gets affected by shitty people #why do i keep taking the high road #why does no one listen to me #i know i get treated like a joke sometimes and that’s ok #but do people really see me as useless?#maybe i am which is fine because now i don’t have to talk to anyone

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bixels · 10 months ago

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Just gonna have to wait and see, right? Just wait and see! Just gotta wait and see! Who knows, we'll just have to wait and see! It's anybody's guess, we'll just have to wait and see! The future is exciting, we just gotta wait and see!

#personal #my art #Fuck your fake ass 'i am very smart!' intellectualizing “observations” and open your god damn ears.#do something for fucks sake. it's sickening seeing videos of ai crap and seeing rows and rows of repliers using their one brain synapse #to type “wow! very exciting!” “haha this is kind of scary! but in a really interesting way!”#and then they go about their day without a second thought while creative industries burn around them #i go to one of america's top tech schools too and it's enough to make you wanna tear our your hair #every day it's seminars and talks about “the potential consequences of ai!” when the consequences are happening NOW #NO MORE DISCUSSING NO MORE INTELLECTUALIZING NO MORE SOCRATIC SEMINARS NO MORE DEBATING. ACT YOU COWARDS #people are getting hurt RIGHT NOW. stop pretending to care when you clearly don't! just be honest and say you wanna make money #my time here has really made me hate academic spaces. you people are so god damn useless and cowardly.

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dykedvonte · 29 days ago

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I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?

What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.

#this is my curly slander post ig #disclaimer i need you to understand i see all fictional men i like as like butches Curly is no exception #but like they didnt need to add that many polygons to his chest like its unnessary and honestly a little mean he already has so many things #to handle and you expect him to hold those boys up like that just aint right this is like something so stupid but i know you can tell im #having strong feelings about it cause like what was the point why did they survive the fucking crash it has to be a injoke at this point #with the devs it shouldnt make me this mad im turning into a misandrist but only towards large chested men #mouthwashing #curly mouthwashing #shitpost #suggestive #ig because this is just about his chest but like also they made him objectively pretty for no reason like yeah like ideal man and work ig #but they went over the extra mile like i have a right to be mad they did that much for a model we see canonically for like two seconds its #crazy actually how little we see of curly pre crash because we also lose his physical movements to help characterize him the way we see #body language with the other characters and how it gives way to their struggles and personalities and sentiments in certain moments #like all he does and how he emotes is stifled by the fact we always play as him until the last moments where he takes over to try and save #the ship and crew and even right before that the scene is so wrought with tension we cant tell what that look he gave Jimmy meant due to #the limitations of the models and how stiff Curly is like was it fear acceptance denial we dont know enought about how he acts himself #to tell and then everything else is charaterized by what Jimmy had done to where we dont really just get to see Curly as himself like Anya #and Swansea and Daisuke we have no idea how theyd act in a regular moment outside of a few glimpses and even then it is them doing #their jobs like grrrr we hate an unreliable narrator but also its the fact jimmy clearly does not interact with them or try to outside of #his position as copilot and then captain harkening back to the entire capitlist view of utility and how he views all of them as useless eve #Curly which fandom tangent the fandom also tends to do to Curly as they base every trait on what they think he failed to do as Captain #between Jimmy and Anya when the QnAs kinda make him out to be a rather open and willing person but still someone who isnt like a push over #just thinking of QnA three where it mentions hes very open to trying new things and you need to be an open minded person to open urself up #to failure like that and ig this is just the weird view that Curly needs to learn that or that theres redemption he needs personality wise #verses healing and learning from trauma like idk its the idea that people assume he did abosultely nothing when the games points out direct #and throught parallels he was taking actions its just wasnt enough and an over focus on absolute inaction vs ineffective methods used to #tackle the issues and themes the game grapples with plus wanting someone to take the blame and have to make it up to Anya even tho #i think it would mean nothing from Curly because she saw his efforts and would be disappointed it wasnt enough but the idea she would #disregard the attempts or not acknoweldge Jimmy as the epicenter compared ot Curly is weird and too focused on someone

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bitchthefuck1 · 6 months ago

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you know what, I actually will talk about this because it's bothering me. The issue with focussing so heavily on syd and carmy's potential for a romantic relationship isn't that there's something inherently unintellectual about romance or whatever, it's that a lot of people seem incapable of doing that without immediately flattening the story and ignoring or intentionally misreading any and all nuance for the sake of that romance. Every scene suddenly becomes about how it impacts their relationship, every analysis is done through a romantic lens, every frame or line of dialogue becomes about finding some easter egg or hint that "proves" these people should start dating. Their dynamic is absolutely a fundamental part of this show, but if you can only see it as a will-they-won't-they, you miss so much of what the story is actually trying to say with these two.

There are good versions of this story where their relationship is romantic and there are good versions of this story where it isn't, but as soon as you decide them being together is "the point," you lose the ability to actually judge the story for what it is, not what you want it to be.

#like so much of their dynamic (esp but not exclusively in S3) has been about showing the ways that carmy's trauma and dysfunctional #attitude in the kitchen impacts other people and how even though he cares about syd and wants their partnership to work he keeps self #sabotaging and setting himself and by extension her and the restaurant up to fail and replicating the same toxic environments that #he grew up and trained in and this is very much consistent with his character and a natural continuation of the conflicts they've been #having since S1 but because him being shitty with her runs contrary to them getting together suddenly its 'ruining the story' and #out of character and only happening bc the writers just hate to see this ship winning and like. if you really think that i genuinely don't #know what show you've been watching bc it sure as shit wasn't this one. like it hurts to see him do this because you know #they could do something genuinely great together and that he's ruining a really good thing but this is also the reality of where he is rn #if he was just a good and supporting business partner and not deeply dysfunctional it would be wildly out of character #the problem w S3 wasn't that it 'ruined' their relationship it's that it had no clear focus overemphasized carmy's arc at the expense #of the other leads deprioritized the supporting cast while failing to give them their own arcs gave more screen time to #unecessary and uninteresting new 'comic relief' characters and let conflicts stagnate without resolving them or #letting them evolve over the course of the season.#this isn't exclusive to the bear this is a general trend ive noticed where as soon as the 'shipper' part of people's brains get activated #it's like they lose the ability to read the story any other way and it stops being about what's good for the narrative and starts being #about whether or not these two people kiss and anything that gets in the way of that is bad and anything that brings it closer is good #and it's usually whatever but it's really frustrating when the story ppl are doing that to is this good #it also makes people fundamentally incapable of treating any 'obstacle' to that romance in a way that isn't wildly meanspirited and #gross (esp bc those characters are usually women) which is exhausting. like no claire isn't evil or a 'pick me' or 'bad' for carmy #or a useless addition to the story or whatever other nonsense you guys have decided must be true to feel okay. she's a perfectly normal #character and their relationship is exploring some of the ways that carmy's inability to deal with or actually address his trauma #impacts the various relationships in his life. she doesn't even have to be a monster or a narrative mistake for him and syd to be #'destined' for each other or whatever. this isn't a middle school wattpad fic.#im definitely gonna get killed in the street for this but ive been looking for a good reason to spend less time on here so might as well #the bear #sydcarmy #sydney adamu #carmy berzatto

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aroaessidhe · 7 months ago

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2024 reads / storygraph

The Sword of Kaigen

standalone fantasy set in a rural mountain village at the edge of an empire that still holds traditional values, with families of powerful water/ice magic warriors

follows a powerful young heir who begins to question his beliefs about the empire when a new boy comes to his village from the city

and his mother, a housewife who has tried to forget her youth as a warrior and vigilante in the city since she moved back home to a loveless marriage

when there’s a violent attack on their village that they’re unprepared for, everything changes, and she has to embrace her old skills to protect her family and people

#The Sword of Kaigen #aroaessidhe 2024 reads #I’ve been meaning to read this for years and I finally got around to it! a really unique fantasy novel #I had always assumed this was ur average pre-industrial high fantasy and then was immediately hit with video games/tv in the first chapter #lmao. But overall (aside from the broader worldbuilding/politics) it is closer to the average ‘historical’ fantasy narrative -#so I can see why I got that impression #Some really compelling characters and interesting narrative structure that went in some unexpected directions.#It really focuses in on one village and how devastating a single battle in a war can be to their people - and how much work the recovery is #I feel like most sff is more concerned with a single person and/or the whole war so this felt unique. did also mean that the pacing was odd #- it's a slow start; then there’s a battle that must be hundreds of pages. The last section of the book feels a little too drawn out #and brings up random hanging plot elements that don’t really go anywhere. But I think overall this works for the story.#also one thing I didn’t love - cool complex interesting female character MC sure but also there’s weird moments like:#the first scene we see her is all the housewives comparing their attractiveness; she keeps referring to herself as an old woman (when she’s #and oh so meek and useless etc. And some of this feels like it’s part of the broader portrayal of the misogynist society #but some of it felt clunky or unintentional?#And then especially the end - when she and her shitty husband finally confront each other as equals and he apologises #she basically immediately forgives him and is like oh I was equally at fault because I am a meek woman who didn’t try either #like him realising he was wrong (and her realising he had a reason for being the way he was) doesn’t negate the fact that he treated her li #she acts like it was her fault for not trying too - when we have numerous examples of him berating her if she spoke up about anything?#like im glad he’s learning. but also that doesn’t mean she needs to suddenly forgive and love him wtf #that's the only real thing that annoyed me though.#also btw that 5yo seems kinda fucked up. are you guys gonna do anything about that

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satorugojoswiife · 7 hours ago

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idk sometimes seeing all the hate gege gets makes me sad. :( like I know alot of it is jokes/memes, but there are some people that are very serious and weird about it

#praying the extra volume content thats releasing in afew days doesnt make the fandom too crazy #like seeing ppl already getting ready to hate bc theres supposedly epilogue stuff w/ ozawa and theyre saying geges gonna ruin itafushi ????#pls dont let this become like what happened with the final volume of mha #gege get behind me-#when ppl get mad and say he doesnt know how to write his own characters :(#.....like have u ever considered that perhaps your interpretation of the character just doesnt match with canon #which is fine bc its all fiction and people can interpret however they want #but its so frustrating when they insult the actual creator for how they write the character #like ???? thats their own oc im pretty sure they know them better than you 💀#idk i think it has a lot to do with hcs that become almost universally accepted by the fandom people forget that they are hcs #ppl talking about gege like hes some irl villain playing 5dchess to make his readers suffer and everything he doee is of malicious intent #and then u go read an actual interview with him and its like: my pen name (gege akutami) basically means useless trash . i hate myself and #have self esteem issues so i have no idea why people actually like and support my lame ideas and cant believe it. thank u so much for all #the support it really means alot. ok now back to self deprecating #😭😭😭

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hauntedbythenarrative · 5 days ago

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#sometimes i get this overwhelming feeling i'll always be stuck in italy bc i'm destined to suffer here #and i just want to km #probably life sucks everywhere #but i really hate everything about italy #i don't see why people are proud to be italian while current italy is a shithole #i'd like to have a future #i feel like if i stay here all my work is useless #yesterday i passed an exam and i got 29 (/30) and i feel nothing #everyone said i would have started feeling better once i started uni #i feel the same #the only difference is that now i have to do stuff and study spanish #which isn't really for me #maybe i should have died in the womb or sth #emma and her stupid vent

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puhpandas · 3 months ago

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thinking abt the ggy easter eggs rn

#im so ready for whateber theyre cooking #this is like the only era rn where the sw games arent interesting me rn im so ready to want to engage again #plz focus on ggy vanny gregory vanessa cassie and not cassie dad mapbot dying absent father doing nothintnfor the story #and a game based totally off of books instead of the other way around #i really hope SW games dont become super tftp oriented #as in they make games based off of books instead of the other way around #that would suck majorly #a ggy game would be new content based off of game lore that does exist for ggy and not the book #like patient 46 and his canonical mysterious past #plus everything the tapes said he did #it could be so good #i really want to just see like. any progression of the story #outside of very basic ideas like 'vanny cassie' that are probably going to happen but are so bare bones #theres not much you can think about #insyead of useless plots like cassies dad. sorry but its true if hes the hw2 story he does nothing #nothing that cassie couldnt have also done if shes the protag #i know that sotm has to happen before they can progress so im being patient #but man #i hope we get more stuff like ruin that has good linear on screen storytelling and is more character oriented #everybody liked ruin but not everyone likes sotm #when hw2 came out i saw soo many opinions not just by me and the moots or something but just #fans on twitter diehard or casual #that hated how hw2s story was handled #people actually want storytelling now at sb and ruins scale instead of old school barely comprehensible frustrating lore #thats what sotm feels like its leaning into and im not excited #i hope its a one time thing since its a good chance to do that #a game that already takes place in the og fnaf days #before it even #of course its a good idea to put old school easter eggs and characters and story and stuff of the og days #i just miss my guys :(

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polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup · 1 year ago

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yuuji manages to find the guts to hold megumi’s hand once and not more than 5 seconds later he gets the shovel talk from 90% of the people in megumi’s life. they truly mean their words that if yuuji ever makes megumi feel bad even by mistake, the higher ups r going to be the least of his problems. the same goes for sukuna.

the other 10% of people r frantically trying to book an immediate flight back to japan after his toes started tingling that something was up with His Boy.

just as yuuji thinks he managed the worst, he feels the hair on the back of his neck stand up and narrowly dodges assassination attempt courtesy of the zenin

The thing is that Megumi is actually such a low maintenance, chill boyfriend. Best boyfriend ever. He always replies to texts quickly. He’s on time to dates. He’s never jealous. They rarely fight, and when they do, it’s always because it’s legitimately important, and they always end up working it out. He lets Yuuji hold(!) his hand(!). The tips of his ears turn fire engine red whenever Yuuji does anything that shows off how Strong and Fast he is, which can be fun for Yuuji. It’s not a competition but also yes it is and Yuuji won it. He locked down The Best Boyfriend Ever. And it only took him 83 days of hardcore crushing, a 27 step plan, and nearly throwing himself off a cliff because he said “hooray” when Megumi told Yuuji he liked him.

He’s Done It. He Secured The Bag. Megumi Is His Boyfriend And The World Is A Perfect Place.

But everyone else seems to have some very strong opinions about that fact. Much stronger opinions than Megumi himself, who lets Yuuji hold(!) his hand(!).

There's a very confusing conversation with Inumaki and Panda about his intentions. Yuuji, very honestly, said that he didn't think he'd get far enough to have any real intentions past what he's already managed, which did not help. Maki had a similar conversation but it involved a sword. God's Perfect Man Who Already Gets Everything He Wants In Life And Certainly Doesn't Need to Butt Into This Too may be returning early from Africa. Yuuji would much rather that Africa keep him, please and thank you. There's a sniper that has him in his sights.

It's worth it.

#sea glass gardens #sort of #the continuing adventures of itadori yuuji being tormented by God's Perfect Man Okkotsu Yuuta #and trying to make Megumi His Boy instead of Yuutas #in all seriousness yuuta would be delighted if megumi got a boyfriend #and he would only LIGHTLY threaten him with a sword #jk #the itafushi that lives in my head is a sickeningly sweet cutesy first relationship #like they both just really are having that First Ever Boyfriend experience #they're both ridiculously into the other #megumi sees Yuuji do something stupidly athletic and is flustered for the rest of the afternoon #yuuji thinks megumi is the prettiest person he's ever met especially when he smiles and will do anything to get one out of him #nobara thinks they both should be taken out back and shot for making her watch this shit #kugisaki nobara world's most homophobic lesbian #lgbtq things are happening to people who do NOT deserve it #gay people are fine these specific gay people disgust her. god they're both useless like this #megumi: you're just jealous i got a boyfriend who could pick me up before you got a girlfriend you could pick you up #nobara pulling out her hammer: i'll kill you here and now #megumi: cry about it #nobara and megumi have this horrible recognition of self through the other because megumi's secretly ridiculously flustered by how Strong #and Fast Yuuji is and nobara is less secretly more openly finding maki insanely hot for how Strong and Fast she is #The Attracted to Pretty Person So Strong So Fast Alliance is facing unprecedented division when megumi starts dating yuuji first #meanwhile in the background everything is on fire and there's an assassin in the distance

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theflyingfeeling · 8 months ago

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...😭

#i've never had a job in my own field that i've liked as much as i've liked my current one #the semester is ending soon and today i heard my contract will not be renewed bc the person i'm substituting will return to work after all #i've been feeling so tired and a bit poorly after the nokia arena show and i probably should have called in sick today #as i was absolutely useless today #and then after my only class today my students came to me with a gift?? 😭#a pink enamel moomin mug and some chocolate and a paper on which they had written nice things about me + a drawing of a dachshund 😭#and i burst to tears right there in front of them because i was so touched (and also because i'm just really really tired and emotional)#i'm so tired about having to apply for new jobs and having to start all over again #i'm so tired of having to do shitty short-notice substitutions again #i feel like i deserve better than that but on the other hand i fee like life's giving me exactly what i deserve and maybe this is it #i'm dreading the summer because idk if i'll have a job to go to in the autumn #and even if i did find something it won't be like the job i have now #also. it's may day eve and the weather's lovely #and i'm hiding in my apartment with the curtains closed so i won't see all the people going out and having fun with their friends #for me may day eve has never been like that. i've always felt so very excluded from those celebrations #on top of that i got yelled at by a bus driver and i'm the worst friend that ever existed #i'm trying to quit on whining about my sad little life but it gets so lonely #please know i'm not writing this for attention or pity. i know y'all have problems of your own and i'm just being a dramatic crybaby

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gremzon · 2 months ago

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I might have OCD actually

#idk i can't tell if its ocd or paranoia #but all my life these “share this text to 10 contacts or your mum will die” always made me unreasonably panicked #and more and more because of posts like “donate now or you are a horrible person” make me deeply unwell #i feel so selfish because i know it's not their fault #im not blaming palestinians reaching out for help more like the people who share the posts and then guilt trip everyone #and i really dont wanna block the tags because it'll make me feel even worse and i still want to be informed #i have so many asks pilling up but idk what to do because I'm useless i can't help in anyway i dont have any reach and no money in my name #and i dont wanna close asks because i do enjoy ask games #but also idk what to do #because when i reply its so hard i feel miserable because i can't help but as soon as i reply i get 20 new ones and it's incredibly overwhel #overwhelming #but when i dont answer my brain is screaming at me “if you dont reply your while family will die in a car crash”#and it's a simple mental image to think of the more asks i answer the more i get the more my brain tells me awful things #I'm sorry to any mutual i may have unfollowed because they shared so many guilt tripping posts i genuinely can't do it anymore #and i feel terrible #and I don't wanna leave Tumblr because it's my only social platform left lmao and thevother ones are all awful its the inly one i like #I'm just not in the right mental state to constantly see “donate or you dont deserve to live even if youre poor” kinda posts #it's not even triggering its just making my “ocd” worse than it ever was #all day long my brian been telling me “you will die today because you didnt answer the asks!!”#it's genuinely horrible idk what to do and eother way i feel like a piece of shit i feel like i dont have the right to feel this way

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selfinflictedgunshotwound · 4 months ago

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i'm kind of amazed how most of the stardew marriage candidates just want you to be their manic pixie dream whatever by agreeing with everything they like and plying them with compliments or praise or whatever (which is fine but a bit. Much) but for shane his romance is just you being there for him while he figures his own shit out... dunno why i never wanted to romance him before he's so good