#but def not nearly as much as when i was 3-4

[trabandovidas]

@marbles-everywhere you want THIS to be a SEXYman????

also yes i ve problems with los tatitos sdfghjkl For once, they are creepy

Secondly, hacian lo mismo todo el tiempo y era un bodrio

and thirdly, THEY SUCK ASS

[vigilskeep]

baffled and vexed by instalment 3 of this fic having an obvious title. does that mean i have to title the rest of them. good lord

[leavemebetosleep]

do you have any good fluttercord fic recs?

OH BOY DO I. In no particular order (except of when I thought of them):

1: Non-Entity by Captain Wuzz: An AU in which, instead of being turned to stone, Discord was shot in the head with a magic arrow that takes away his sentience and magic for a 1,000 years. Fluttershy mistakes him for a wounded animal and brings him home. I loved it so much.

2: Chaotic Neutral by C-Puff: The magic is starting to fade from Equestria, and the Main 6 and Discord go on an adventure to find out why, and reverse it. A bit of AU, in the sense it was written before the show was done, so it diverts in some places because of that. Super sweet, and I love the character development here.

3: Time is Taller than Space is Wide by Dott. Can also be read on Ao3 if you prefer. Soulmate AU (?) fic with a Groundhog Day style twist. I rarely see fics play with the idea of what if Fluttershy and Discord's friendship had started when they first met, so this is fun.

4 & 5: Blank and it's sequel Reconnection by @geekcat. Can also be read on fanfic.net. AU in which, before Discord can choose friendship over ruling Equestria, Twilight remembers a "reformation" spell. He is stripped of his free will, and Fluttershy does her best to bring him back. If you don't like the idea of Twilight being a villain, you might not like this one, but I think her villain arc in this is done in a perfect way for her character. It's super heart wrenching in many places, but in a good way.

6: Our Fair Lady of the Chaos Lord, also by GeekCat Can also be read on fanfic.net. Fairy tale inspired AU in which Fluttershy is a princess who's father is pressuring her to marry noble knight Sir Big Mac. Wanting to be sure he's a good person, she makes a deal with the Chaos Lord, letting herself be "kidnapped" so she can test his character. You can guess who she falls for instead. Honestly I've enjoyed all of GeekCat's fics, so they're getting an extra mention. Check out the rest of their fluttercord fics if you like any of these.

7: The Draconequus with the Dragon Tattoo by A M Shark This is a major case of, strange premise, kick ass results. Basically an AU based off Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larsson, with Discord as Lisbeth, and Fluttershy as an amalgamation of Mikael and several other characters, but focusing more on the murder mystery aspect of that book, and less on the...everything else. If you're familiar with GwtDT, don't worry, there's no rape scenes. Again, it's more about the murder mystery part. If you're not familiar with GwtDT, then don't worry again, because you don't need to know the original to enjoy it. It's just Discord and Fluttershy playing detective and solving a murder together. It has two sequels, but I haven't read them yet, and it didn't feel right to rec something I haven't read.

8: The Corpse Bride by Bad Horse. Dark fic. No relation to the Burton movie. Fluttershy dies in a tragic accident, and Discord brings her back from the dead as his zombie wife. Her friends (sans Pinkie) are horrified. Has a fantastic twist ending. If you like some of the darker stuff, def worth a read.

Bonus: Comic rec: The Last Adventure by Eveeka. Taking place after the final defeat of Tirek, Cozy, and Chrysalis, Discord gets into a depressive funk after shouldering the hatred from Ponyville citizens for his latest actions, but also because his friends seem to never be available anymore. He starts to think maybe Equestria would be better off without him, as he can't seem to exist with out making everyone miserable, and decides to hide away in the Everfree forest. Fluttershy, worried when he doesn't show up for tea, asks her friends for help, only to discover there's a monster running lose there he and the rest of Equestria might be in danger from. This fic has two endings, so keep reading even when it seems like it's over. You've got one more ending left. This one nearly made me cry.

[wttcsms]

WAIT DON'T CLOSE IT YET!!!!! the 'love story told in untraditional format' prompt and DABI??? mm.

would like to meet, touya todoroki ;

pairing touya 'dabi' todoroki x f!reader word count 1.9k synopsis the dregs of society run rampant on hinge, and everyone knows you're not going to meet The One on there. but you know the saying... love does come when you least expect it. alternatively: catching feelings through the hinge dms. content contains one reference to jumping off a building, some sexual jokes author's notes OK not necessarily a love story, but there are feelings in involved, i swear. this is supposed to be fun & silly!!!!

You nearly throw your phone across the room. Download Hinge, your friends encouraged you. It’ll be fun! 

You frown at Shigaraki’s ever-so-eloquent opening line of I’d blow yo back out. Yeah, you can see why this app was designed to be deleted. The fucking dregs of society are crawling all over this thing. Just one nice, well-adjusted individual. That’s all you’re asking for! 

Apparently, any decent guy is either taken or not on Hinge. You debate throwing in the towel and just meeting someone organically, like, out in public, exactly as the good lord intended, but right before you do, your phone vibrates.

New Notification!

Hinge | Dabi liked your image!

Hinge | Dabi sent you a chat!

It’s a Friday night, and you know for a fact that there is not a single sane man on this app, especially at this hour. Considering the fact that you’re sitting in bed right now, about to rewatch Pride & Prejudice for the sixth time this week, what else do you have to lose? Dignity? You open the app.

Apr 22 10: 24 PM

Dabi: You’re hot, what’s wrong with you

You: ?? 

Dabi: You’re too hot to be single and on here. What’s your deal 

You: you’re on here too? 🤨

Dabi: Would you say I’m too hot to the point where it’s suspicious I’m on here

You: i’m not here to give you an ego boost

Dabi: Then what’s the point of being on here

You: so you just get on here for free compliments?

Dabi: Maybe I have premium. Maybe I pay for these compliments 

You: yeah, you look like the type to pay for hinge premium ngl 

Dabi: Bye I’m going to talk to girls that are easier to manipulate 

You: please do 🙏 

Apr 23 1:21 PM

Dabi: Did you miss me

Apr 23 3:15 PM

You: so much

Apr 23 4:47 PM

Dabi: How much

Apr 23 6:01 PM

You: i was going to jump off a bridge if u didn’t text me 

Apr 23 8:01 PM

Dabi: Damn that’s crazy

Dabi: How I don’t care 

Apr 23 10:15 PM

You: don’t you have anyone else to bother

Dabi: I want to bother you though 

You: you probably scared off every girl you’ve ever come in contact with 

Dabi: True

Dabi: Except for you because you’re stupid

You: you pay for hinge premium, there’s an idiot in this conversation but it’s def not me

Dabi: I was joking 

Dabi: I don’t have money like that

You: i can tell

You: you probably take girls out for coffee as a first date, and then make them venmo u their half of the bill

Dabi: Nah

Dabi: I make her pay the full amount

You: i’m not surprised

Dabi: That was a joke too

Dabi: I never take girls out 

You: thank God

You: you’d probably be every girl’s worst date story

Dabi: Want to test that theory out 

You: no thanks, i don’t feel like being content material for some crime podcast 

Dabi: Smart girl

Apr 24 12:13 PM

Dabi: Wyd

You: at the police station, filing a restraining order on you 

Dabi: Damn 

Dabi: You want to be the one to put me in cuffs

You: the officer here actually has pink cuffs, i know some guys find that emasculating but you seem like you wouldn’t mind

Dabi: I love pink actually 

Dabi: I’m so down

You: i think you’re my dream guy

You: more like my sleep paralysis demon, but same difference 

Dabi: Aw you think of me when you sleep

Dabi: You’re that obsessed already

You: stfu 

Dabi: Don’t feel bad 

Dabi: I’m a munch fr

Dabi: I need u

You: what you need is to be put on some medication 

Dabi: Yeah you’re my medication

You: you need to be psychologically evaluated 

You: r u a social experiment 

Dabi: Stop flirting with me 

You: you’re so childish

Dabi: Am I bothering you

Dabi: Do I elicit strong emotions 

You: you don’t look like someone who knows the word elicit 

Dabi: I’m in grad school

You: wow

You: this is the first time you’ve left me genuinely speechless 

Apr 24 3:55 PM

Dabi: Yo when’s ur bday 

Dabi: Do you have any siblings 

You: are u gonna ask for my mother’s maiden name too 

Dabi: Yeah actually 

Dabi: Give me your ssn while you’re at it

You: ur a creep, ur lucky ur cute

Dabi: Wow, you can’t have deep convos with anyone any more without being accused of trying to get answers to their security questions

You: tell me something abt you first

Dabi: My dad sucks

You: yeah you look like you would have daddy issues

Dabi: Lmao

Dabi: I’m being fr though

You: yeah, a lot of dads do suck. what abt the rest of ur family?

Dabi: I haven’t seen them in years

You: oh

You: do they suck too?

Dabi: Nah

Dabi: I moved out as soon as I could 

You: your dad was that bad?

Dabi: The worst

You: are you trying to get pity pussy rn???? don’t tug on my heartstrings if it’s all just a lie

Dabi: Damn wtf

Dabi: But also depends. Do u wanna give me some pity pussy rn

You: bye i thought we were actually having a serious moment 

Dabi: I wasn’t lying. Swear

Dabi: Now tell me something too

You: im an attention seeker. that’s why im on here

Apr 25 1:56 PM

Dabi: Did u miss me not giving u attention

Apr 25 3:56 PM

You: sorry, i was having really crazy sex waiting for u to come back

Dabi: Fire

Dabi: You deserve it

Dabi: Me next?

You: only if you promise to tell me u love me before the post nut clarity hits

Dabi: I love manipulating women during sex

Dabi: Anything for u 

You: you say that but someone else is in my dms telling me that i can be his housewife and raise our kids and never work a day in my life again so pls top that offer 

Dabi: DAMN

Dabi: I bet he’s boring 

You: he’s not boring, we’re actually getting married and gonna have a big family

Dabi: Well clearly the fact that ur talking about him to me shows that u aren’t interested in him 

You: i’m telling u abt him so u have something to aspire to

Dabi: Damn you should date him then 

You: that’s the first intelligent thing you’ve said 

Apr 26 7:00 AM

Dabi: I hate you

Dabi: Wyd today

You: pls mind ur own business 

Dabi: Smd

Dabi: Tell me or I block you

Apr 26 8:19 AM

Dabi: U suck

You: and swallow

Dabi: No you don’t

Dabi: You probably spit it out

Apr 27 9:34 AM

You: true but in my defense, you look like you would produce something that tastes like toxic waste

Dabi: Were u deadass ignoring me 

You: don’t be so needy, dabi. it’s not a good look

Dabi: Sorry that was a moment weakness 

Dabi: So what now

Dabi: Is this when u give me ur insta

You: i don’t have any social media

Dabi: Nah you’re a catfish

You: maybe

Apr 27 1:34 PM

Dabi: Wyd

You: you’re a true wyd warrior, do u realize that

You: i’m currently getting my back blown out by a dude who posted his headshot as one of his hinge pics. i am not even faking my moans.

Dabi: Stfu 😂

Dabi: Do u even know what sex is

Dabi: Name one position 

You: easy, missionary 

Dabi: Well you’re on your phone so obviously the sex you’re having isn’t that good 

You: im just a good multitasker 

Dabi: tell me if ur shit is grippy

You: hold on, let me ask him

Dabi: Whats his name

Dabi: Whats he saying

You: don’t worry abt his name

You: he told me im gripping him so tight, it’s like i’m trying to take his blood pressure rn

Dabi: LMAO 

Dabi: That means ur not attracted to him

You: wow, a guy who knows that tight doesn’t equal aroused, i’m genuinely impressed w you 

You: and for the record, i would never actually fuck a guy who posts a professional headshot as one of his pics on hinge 

Dabi: Oh now you tell me

Dabi: Guess I have to cancel the appointment I just made to get a headshot done 

Apr 28 6:20 AM

Dabi: Im leaving Okinawa to go back to work. I’m sad, cheer me up

You: just commit a crime so they won’t let you leave

You: also i think maybe u need a psych eval or smth bc why are u still talking to me 🤨

Dabi: Nah tbh you’re the most interesting person on here

Dabi: I’m gonna go to tokyo and commit a crime on u 

You: yea, u not being in my guts rn should be a crime

Dabi: Chill my dick isn’t big enough for that 😂 

You: i want you to seek professional help

Dabi: I want u to seek these nuts in ur mouth

You: when should i ghost you

Dabi: Whenever u want bae you can ghost me anytime 

Apr 28 7:26 AM

Dabi: REPLY

You: u literally told me i could ghost u anytime WHAT IS UR DEAL

Dabi: Damn ok well when you do at least say goodbye

You: when i do, i’m reporting ur hinge account in the hopes that u get banned and have to resort to meeting women irl

You: i’m actually reporting ur account rn

Dabi: Good idea

Dabi: I’ll report u too 

Dabi: Before you get banned from hinge, can I have your number

You: no

You: i don’t give my number out to random ass strangers online

You: and ‘dabi’ is a weird name to have saved in my contacts

Dabi: Touya

Dabi: That’s my real name

You: oh

You: who the hell uses a fake name on a dating app??? 😭

Dabi: Stranger danger is real

Dabi: If I take you out on a date will you give me your number

You: a REAL date???

Dabi: Yeah I’m actually a gentleman in case you couldn’t tell

You: i don’t know how i could’ve missed that fact.

Dabi: I’m being fr though

Dabi: Dinner reservations and everything

You: are you paying the entire bill 🤨

Dabi: Why wouldn’t I

You: hmmm

You: every sex joke i made was definitely just a joke though, pls don’t get any crazy ideas

Dabi: Obviously you were joking, I’m not an idiot

You: you’re not gonna try to hit on the first date?

Dabi: If it’ll make you more comfortable, I’ll tape a 10 ft pole to my chest so I can’t get anywhere near you

You: cute

Dabi: Dinner tomorrow?

You: yes, dinner tomorrow 

Dabi: And if I do well, I get your number?

You: hmmm

You: i guess

Dabi: Fuck yeah

Dabi: I’m tired of texting you through hinge 

You: you only get it IF you do well

Dabi: I’m gonna rock your shit 

Dabi: Romantically 

You: sure you will

Apr 30 12:01 AM

Are you sure you want to delete the Hinge app?

Yes | No

You selected Yes! Reason for deletion?

[ ] No new matches

[ ] App is difficult to work with

[ ] Found another app to use

[ X ] I met someone

[xhollandlilsx]

Red Card - (Leah Williamson x Reader)

Concept- Leah and Y/N have been broken up for months, but things kick off when Leah gets jealous during the game against Y/Ns team.

Warnings - Injuries.

People, break up and makeup.

They fallout, fix it, kiss and carry on. But for Leah and I, we had done that for the last time. We ended things for good a little over 3 months ago, agreeing that we couldn’t keep on the way we were. The constant arguing, the overprotection from Leah and towards the end the lack of trust.

After my signing for Manchester United, after being the top goal scorer in the league, that’s when everything started to go downhill, fans would release photos of Alessia and I, saying how cute of a couple we would be, or fake stories about how a ‘close source’ had admitted we were seeing eachother, despite Leah and I being open about our relationship. It all got too much for the two of us, so I travelled down to London, and we both came to a decision.

It took me over a month to feel a little bit like myself again, Lucy was my saving grace throughout, I had been friends with her since our parents used to go on holidays and we’d find any grass we could and kick the ball back and forth, showing off. She FaceTimed me nearly every day, and forced me to get up.

**********

“You got everything in that bag, Mary Poppins?” Ella asked as I walked over toward where some of the girls were waiting outside the coach, I let a smirk cross my face and patted the duffel bag I had on my shoulder.

“Alright, leave my bag alone. I like to be prepared for anything.” I replied with a shrug and stuffing my hands in my pockets.

“What, like a natural disaster? You got a lifetime of food in there?” She laughed slightly as I raised my middle and index finger, telling her to fuck off.

“We all ready?” Marc asked holding a clipboard and looking over all of us like we were kids on a school trip.

“Are you ready?” Ona asked, whispering slightly to me as she was stood behind me, I knew why she’d asked, because of who we were travelling to play. Arsenal.

I smiled a thin lipped smile before following Tooney onto the coach, sitting next to her as Alessia and Mary sat the other side. I tried to drown out the thoughts that were now flooding my mind, and the anxiety that made me feel sick at the thought of even seeing her face again.

I threw my headphones in and threw my pre game playlist on, it mostly consisted of rock, rage against the machine, AC/DC, Def Leppard so on and so forth.

I crossed my arms over my chest and closed my eyes, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone so they’d start a conversation.

*********

The 4 hour coach journey wasn’t too bad, I’d managed to somewhat calm my nerves, doing some affirmations, repeating to myself that I’m Y/N fucking Y/L/N. What have I got to be nervous about?

The coach pulled up in the carpark and I could see fans waiting behind the fences next to us, my eyes scanned them as I saw a fair amount of United shirts, I smiled and waved before walking over, something we weren’t supposed to do, but I hated the fact they’d waited there for us and nobody’s going over.

They all near screamed when I went over, I smiled and shook a few hands, saying a few hi’s, taking photos and signing one persons shirt. One of the Arsenal security men did come over and try to usher me inside faster.

“You’re such a softy for fans” Ella smiled slightly as she sat on the bench in the changing rooms putting her shin pads and socks on. I kept my puffer jacket on, the badge still over my heart, and my joggers with my initials and number 11 on them. I threw my shins on under my joggers and threw my socks and spare boots on. I rolled my socks right down so they were bunched around my ankles and tied my laces.

“Well I don’t like ignoring them. They came all this way to support us. And waited, it’s cold Ella” I laughed slightly before standing up and pulling the shorter girl with me. I wasn’t too tall, sitting at 5’7, which was a good average compared to some.

“In all seriousness, you ready?” She asked as we walked out of the tunnel toward the other end of the pitch to warm up both carrying our bottles. The Arsenal players were already out here warming up on the opposite side. It took everything in me not to look over, to look for her. I restrained myself, knowing eventually I’d have to see her, being a forward, but as of now, I need to pretend she’s not there. Keep my focus.

“I’m fine El. Grab a ball.” I nodded to her as Alessia walked over too, the three of us throwing our bottle off to the side while we waited for the rest of our team to come out and for one of the trainers.

We started kicking it in a triangle, talking as the stand filled up, I threw my hands in my pockets of my coat as I could feel them starting to freeze, only taking them out to smooth out my hair, my well known two braids into a bun.

“Okay girls, two lines behind the cones” We warmed up, all just taking the piss out of eachother, usual banter for us, before heading back inside the tunnel and to the changing room.

**********

We got into position after Marc announced the starting eleven. As usual I was upfront, we had kick off so I stood with the ball at my feet, my arms freezing off, but knowing I’d warm up after a while, as I love running laps around players.

The whistle blew and the game was off, I passed to Katie, who held it and waited for the Arsenal players to get stuck in. I found myself stood next to Laura, as I nudged her playfully, I had played for Arsenal for years, they were still like a family to me, and I stayed good friends with a few of them, especially Beth and Viv, it was difficult for them not to ask Leah and I about eachother but they tried their best.

“Ella. Ella!” I shouted to her as we were waiting for McCabe to take the throw in, my voice carrying, and harsh, I always sounded angry and authorative, the winger looked at me as I motioned for her to fall back slightly, to which she did, but when the throw in was taken she threw it to Viv who was unmarked, someone who should’ve been picked up by a defender, “Hey where were we?!”

I watched as Ona dealt with it and passed to Ella who carried it as far as she could up the pitch, before passing to me as I was running with her, I wasn’t vain or anything but I knew I was faster than any of the defenders at Arsenal, I was a fast runner to say the least.

I began to dribble forward towards where Zinsberger was waiting with open arms, when I saw a flash of red in the corner of my eye, and a slide tackle came at me, I knew exactly who it was, so when I saw her about to go down for it, I chipped the ball up and jumped forward over her, fast thinking, the thinking that got me nominated for a fair amount of awards. Once clear of her I kicked the ball into the top left corner, only cheering once I knew it had hit the net.

I felt Alessia run over and jump on my back, she had been running with me the entire time, just marked. I smiled and cheered as the fans erupted. I set her down as Tooney came running over and high fived me. I ran back into position high fiving a few of my team on the way, my eyes wandering to her, she looked like she was trying to hide her anger, as she walked back into her position, wiping her mouth on her sleeve. I still felt that anxious feeling but it wasn’t so bad anymore. She was staring at where Alessia’s hand was still on my shoulder.

My heart hurt though, regardless of what happened when we were together or how long we’ve been apart, I still loved her. My heart beat for that girl. That was until the 86th minute, when that flash of red took me off my feet in one of the dirtiest tackles I’d ever seen. Leah could be quite aggressive at times, but I never thought she’d pull something like this, no matter how angry she was.

I felt the air get knocked out of me as I rolled onto my back trying to breathe. Searing pain coming from my side, I felt someone land at my side, Alessia. I was slightly panicking. I had been winded before but never like this. I glanced at the blonde defender once where she stood with wide eyes and a hand over her mouth, not realising what she’d just done in blind rage.

The ref called for the medics as a few of the Arsenal players pulled Leah away and were all shocked at her behaviour. I covered my face with my arm as I tried to take at least one breath that wasn’t cut short.

“Y/N, I’m just gonna lift your shirt is that okay?“ The medic asked as she crouched down beside me, I nodded still not being able to speak, and gripping Alessia’s hand for dear life.

They pulled my shirt up their knuckle grazing my side ever so slightly making me let out a strangled yell, catching the attention of most players on the pitch, everyone looking over wanting to know what the damage was.

“Yeah..” The medic sighed, before waving the others over and signalling for them to get the stretcher. I couldn’t move my torso at the moment, my eyes watered knowing I’d be out for a while, as I let my head fall to the side seeing Leah stood there wiping her eyes, pushing anyone away who tried to touch her.

*********

“Knock knock” I heard someone announce before walking in, it was Ella, she stood there with a sympathetic smile and a bunch of flowers. I smiled and shook my head, “I’ve come take you home”

“Thankyou” I nodded sitting up, hissing in pain, and reaching for my shirt, seeing as though I was just in a sports bra and a big patch of gauze and tape on the right side of my torso. I could see some of the immediate bruising peeking over the top of it.

“How you feeling?” She asked as I stood up from the bed, holding my shirt in my hand.

“Like my ex just fractured two of my ribs.” I sighed with a slight smile, if I didn’t laugh I’d cry.

“Yeah, that was behind anything I’d seen before Y/N/N.” She shrugged, as another knock came from the door and Ella opened it, her face falling as she nodded for the blonde to come in.

“You’ve got some nerve” I shook my head as Ella slipped out of the room without another word obviously not wanting to be in the middle.

“I know, Y/N I’m so sorry I-“

“Sorry ain’t fixing this Leah. Sorry was when you’d accuse me of sleeping with Alessia. Sorry was when you’d call me when angry and drunk at 3am, this isn’t sorry Leah.” I shook my head as she looked down at my torso, where the abs I was so proud of were slightly covered. Her face going pale at the sight of the gauze.

“I know… I messed up, I did and I don’t know how I can fix it.”

“You can’t.” I reached for my shirt and pulled it on wincing and trying to control my breathing while pulling it down, I let out a sigh as she looked down, before looking out the window at the street lights, the time sitting at around 11pm, “I can’t play for 6 weeks.”

My eyes watered, as her face contorted into a look of pain and guilt as she looked away closing her eyes, she knew how much football meant to me. I lived and breathed it.

“I can’t play, and it’s your fault Leah. My god, you know I wanted to talk to you after the game. To tell you, I don’t even know what I wanted to tell you anymore. But now? Leah, in the past 4 months you’ve taken away the only two things my heart beats for…”

“Two?”

“Just go” I shook my head and turned away from her, I heard some shuffling and a pause before, the door opened and closed, allowing me to finally let the tears flow.

Part 2?

[dangopango00]

OM Appearance Hcs So I Can Draw Them Sometime

A/N: I was playing n then i realized they dont have much variation bc that levi line thats like “Asmo and I are brothers so why does he get all the good genes!?” So making hcs bc i kinda wanna draw them, at least headshots or sth

First Most to Least Objectively Attractive

1. Lucifer/Asmo: Tbh i couldn’t pick because imo Lucifer is most handsome but Asmo is most overall good looking; hes probably a pretty boy

2. Mammon: It was hard figuring out how to rank him but since he’s a model I think he must take pretty good care of himself + Not quite a pretty boy and i think he’s a model for a different reason than Asmo (I think he’s more uniquely attractive rather than extremely objectively attractive)

3. Satan: Idk it just feels right for Mr Perfect like hes not the hottest guy ever but he takes care of himself pretty well if asmo hasnt already done it for him + since hes a unicorn i have a hugeeee hc that hes a pretty boy who doesn’t want to be perceived as pretty n had long hair when he spawned

4. Beel: No proof other than him nearly winning that popularity contest in NB despite doing nothing + he works out. Though tbh I don’t think his face is anything crazy, like he’s cute, well taken care of and nothing to scoff at (since diet and exercise r a big chunk of skin/body health) but I don’t think he’s insanely head-turning like Asmo

5. Belphie: He’s more like a cutie. Like he can be hot but usually he has his kewt face on + he has poor sleeping habits

6. Levi: Im so sorry bbg but 😭😭 He doesnt take care of his skin or sleep on time. Hes still hot but comparatively hes dead last

Distinguishing Features Hcs UTC

Lucifer:

- Smooth thin hair

- Ya’ll hear me out… a couple grey strands JUST A FEWWWWWW it alr looks like his hair lighting thing cmon

- Thin eyebrows with a bit of an arch

- SHARP GUY sharp jawline, sharp eyes

- Eyes are like small and straight not really turned up or down

- Eyebags (He doesn’t get dark circles but he does get bags)

- Very long angular features like long hooked nose long angular face shape (I like him having a hooked nose bc i feel like he looks a bittt unique and he takes pride in those unique features. Doesn’t gaf)

- Like a poodle. Very well taken care of; prim and proper in the public eye

Mammon:

- Thick fluffy hair; keeps it soft for MC

- Eyebrows aren’t too thick but def not thin; gets them done from time to time with Asmo and/or MC; straight with no arch

- Eyes aren’t that big or small just like medium size and a bit downturned (pretty slightly)

- Also has a hooked nose ☹️☹️☹️ seeing lucifer so proud about it made him proud about it too ieueeuueueuew I HATE THESE MFS I CANTTT

- Angular face but has a softer charm to it idk. Like his chin is pretty similar but his cheeks protrude a bit more; cuter

- Really good skin naturally + he takes care of it; softer than you would think

- Really similar to Lucifer imo (ik they’re basically adopted siblings but I feel like some brothers look really alike and mammon and luci are examples of that 😭😭 feel like lucifer sees himself in mammon sometimes)

- Unrelated but like. I feel like he used to have freckles as a real young angel 😭

Levi:

- Thick tangly hair (he should brush it more tbh) (correction* YOU should brush it more) its soft though

- Thick rounded eyebrows; not super crazy but thick with a small arch— gets them waxed/plucked/wtv when he’s gonna cosplay with them showing bye

- Eyes are small and slightly upturned; cat (specifically thinking of that one card where he didn’t wanna go to school gn)

- Eyebags on good days and dark circles usually; sometimes both

- Long straight features, he wasn’t a giraffe that one time for nothing..! Long straight nose, Long face with barely any curves/angles very pretty boy

- Thin features too like thin long fingers and a slim face

- Good skin naturally + he bathes often but doesn’t really do skincare or anything so he has some blemishes

- Gremlin

Satan:

- Ik how crusty it looks in game but LISTEN HIS HAIR IS SOFT, smooth and a bit thick; slightly wavy idgafff

- His color scheme is really soft to me like maybe a slight edge with his bright green eyes but imo his hair should be lighter likeeeee 🦄🦄 idk i just love the idea that despite being the only one who was never an angel, Satan looks the most angelic he’s so fun to mould

- Pretty thin eyebrows but not super thin; arched

- Eyes are small and pretty much straight with a slight upturn

- Doesn’t have eyebags or anything; prioritizes his health

- Soft slender features with sudden edges, similar to his personality like he has an angular jaw but his overall face is pretty slender and soft in certain areas; has a greek nose

- Similar to Lucifer as well but softer (debatably softer than mammon too)

- Kept breaking out in acne or hives or sth when he first spawned 😭😭😭 stopped after like a week or sth but his brothers still make fun of him (he has sensitive skin)

Asmo:

- SOFT SMOOTH HAIR Not super thin or thick smack dab in the middle

- Strawberry blonde and 😭😭😭 thats so special to meee because it reminds me of how he and satan are more alike than satan would think; Want to be loved and often misunderstood— also has a soft color scheme like satan but his is done in a sharper way

- Really well groomed thin rounded eyebrows with a slight arch

- Slightly larger than medium eyes like almond ish

- The BEST skin, he takes care of himself so well and it pays off! He is GLOWINGGG

- Another pretty boy with a slender face but strangely enough he has a handsome charm about it; really nice jawline and straight nose

- Imo he’s like aphrodite but like for any and everyone like he’s both handsome and pretty

- Has moles but not where he wants them 😭😭😭 wants the sexy lip mole and draws it on sometimes

Beel:

- Thick fluffy hair with a slight curl to it. Like extremely slight

- Thick eyebrows with no arch or a very slight one

- Eyes are medium sized with a slight upturn

- Eyes are a bit brighter than belphie’s

- Okay skin; doesn’t do skincare but diet + exercise makes up for it and doesn’t really have blemishes or eyebags or wtv

- Has freckles HE DESERVES IT 💔💔

- Not quite angular but like wide; manly face and straight nose

- To be honest I don’t have much to say bc imo when it comes to his face he’s kinda just some basic attractive guy 😭

Belphie:

- Soft thick hair that WOULD BE tangly like levi but he gets others to brush for him gn

- Thick eyebrows with no/slight arch

- Eyes are medium n slightly downturned but his resting face they look ig siren ish n when he widens them they almost look doe

- Eyebags from sleeping too damn much but at least it makes his skin look youthful af

- Not very angular face with slightly chubby cheeks and straight nose

- There’s no reason for his color scheme to be softer but like BUT LIKE LOOOOOK 😭😭😭 he would be so cute it’d add to his dreamy temptation aesthetic

LIKE (https://www.tumblr.com/dangopango00/749877229405732864/belpheeeeeee)

- HES LIKE MESSY IN THE CUTEST WAY like hes not prim n proper but hes messy in that way you can’t help but wanna clean him up and pat him on the head

- Very similar to Beel like these mfs been linked since birth 😮‍💨

[invisiblemans-horror-corner]

More Erik The Phantom Headcanons!

these are all autistic hcs since @madreemeritus asked for more, i am happy to deliver on more of one of my favorites boys!

let's start off strong with this mans EGO, alot of autistic people are kind of full of ourselves lol this man is always boasting how articulate and amazing he is and how better he is at everything than you (example: playing the organ)

2. he has the opposite of sensory overload this man has sensory UNDERLOAD he will nearly go deaf with all the loud music cheering and clapping going on in the opera, he loves loves loves the sounds.

3. nervously picks and bites at his skin around his nails, he gets very understimulated and needs some type of sensory outpit, so picking it is! (me too)

4. one word. Dysgraphia. This man's handwriting is SHIT (again me too)

5. hygiene is not that great... his breath prob smells like straight up cyanide and ass, anyways hygiene is something all autistic people deal with in one way or another, like we forget to brush our teeth or purposely don't because it feels horrendous.

6. stimming! stimming! stimming! he definitely does this especially at points where Christine holds his hand ever so gently, or how she hits the most perfect high note on stage. he can't help but jump a little, or alot lol

7. he occasionally deals with echolalia, when Christine tells him "i love you Erik" he will get giddy and repeat it 10 times over, not just for reassurance but because it makes him so happy, "Christine loves Erik!"

8. he may not deal with sound sensitivity but textures are def a big NO. he must only wear silks and soft materials, he will complain of a thousand prickles on his skin if you make him wear such cheap and horrible textures.

9. again with the textures is food, i feel like since the acid hit his mouth his teeth must have been affected making them weaker. he tends to eat much softer foods, like puddings, soups.

10. thought about this last one alot and I think he might have light sensitivity as well, since he only uses candles to light his dark bedroom, and likes to keep the lights off in his private box. His eyes were badly injures, leaving them extremely sensitive to light.

thanks for requesting more phantom headcanons! i got a bit more technical with these ones compared to my last post because i thought i could also make this somewhat educating for people who might not know certain things about us autistic individuals. anyways tell me what you think and don't be afraid to add some of your own interpretations or headcanons of autistic Erik!

[call-me-chips]

Okay so I have Ten thousand of them

IzuOcha

BakuCamie [Me and my friend ship them]

ToyoTsu

TodoIida

KiriBaku

MonoShino

Okay les go

Also I think I'm gonna start rating them from 1/10

Izuocha: 4/10

Ima be real I don't like this one. I see Ochako's love for Deku much more as admiration and respect. Cuz like, just about whenever she talks about Deku, she's admiring his work and saying she wants to be like him

Bakucamie: 0/10

I hate this one. Very much dislike. Nearly despise. First of all, he's gay (my headcanon that I'm dying by), and secondly, WHEN IN THE SAME ROOM AS BOTH SHOUTO AND BAKUGOU, SHE SAID THAT SHOUTO WAS CUTE. She didn't even consider Bakugou. She barely looked at him. I just really cannot see it at all

Tokotsuyu: 3/10

This one is alright, but there's not a ton to back it up. Ik they worked one or two missions together, but there wasn't much chemistry between the two. I used to ship it just cuz it was cute, but I don't ship it now (I also headcanon her as a lesbian, so that doesn't help xD)

Todoiida: 8/10

I've already answered this one, but I very much like it :)

Kiribaku: 10/10

Love this one. They're just so right for each other. And there is so much to back it up. Like how, in Kiri's profile, he has a list of things that he likes, which on it, there's "Tough guys". And who is he always calling tough and manly?? BAKUGOU. There are several other points to back up this ship, but I don't want this to be too long

Monoshin: 7/10

This one is nice, and could definitely work based on the scenes we're given. I just have a hard time imagining them together for some reason. I think it's cuz I ship Shinkami, but idk. They do def seem like they could be a functional couple tho, and a level-headed person is something that Monoma needs xD

[faithfromanewperspective]

warlocks and menstruation

so I was thinking how biologically it doesn’t make sense for warlocks to menstruate indefinitely. like we’re all born with our eggs or whatever follicle thingos will develop into them, they don’t just replenish like sperm, eventually they’ll run out after 50 years or less like maybe for a warlock with 2-3 times our egg count you could push it to 100 but that is quite far from forever. of course, apart from Tessa, all warlocks are sterile and so there isn’t really a problem there, only the question of whether they menstruate to begin with. I’ll get back to my theory of what does happen with Tessa soon but first I have to ask an important question: why, when checking if Tessa was a warlock, did they not first ask whether she gets normal periods? Shadowhunters do as far as we know they’re just normal humans in that. Warlocks—the accords were new enough and periods taboo enough then that it’s possible Shadowhunters just never bothered to check that. But still. It’s a question that should have been asked, given that Tessa was 16 when she came and more than old enough to have started her period by then.

(she also didn’t have iratzes for her cramps like Charlotte and jessamine and lucie and everyone)

Anyway I’m going to assume that given she never thinks anything is weird Tessa did have her period when she came to the Institute. I’m also going to assume by something that idiot Mortmain who knew nothing of biology (but did seem to know Tessa’s species as well as anyone) said that she wasn’t going to be able to reproduce just yet at 17 (hence the lack of pregnancy scare after the cave yknow cause they def didn’t use protection) which does set her apart from humans and Shadowhunters—we know that you’re Very Fertile at that age (which Tatiana found out for comparison). We also know that she had two children one year apart, and then none for at least 17 years if not 125 years. And she was quite sexually active with Will between the early 1880s and sometime in the 1930s (yes sperm quality does decline with age but if you have enough sex it stacks up your chances and at some point it’s always possible) in a time where birth control wasn’t nearly as reliable as it is today (all I’m saying is I don’t put their lack of a third child down to birth control).

so, in order to attempt to figure out Tessa’s uterus I’m going to visit the animal kingdom, especially birds: within this class you have birds who alt-menstruate (lay eggs) pretty much all year round til later in life (chickens) which are like humans in that regard, we’re fertile all year. You also have birds (like 99% of them actually) that are fertile at a very specific time of every year and mate and lay 3-4 eggs only (chickens can lay up to 300 eggs a year or more if they’re selectively bred for it; naturally this figure is closer to 150 without human intervention and selective breeding) and sit on them and hatch them. Then spend the rest of the year with their reproductive organs dormant (did you know a bird’s reproductive organs grow 300 times bigger during their laying season?) and I figure, I think I solved our mystery.

Because you’re not going to run out of eggs if you make it a cyclical seasonal kind of thing. Not annual, warlocks live far too long for that, but the earth has more cycles than just annual ones, ENSO and the Indian Ocean Dipole are examples of that. So I propose that Tessa menstruates for a couple years on and then several years off, like 99% of birds if you just stretched out time to be more like warlock time. Which would make sense as to why she had James and Lucie in such a small window and heavily reduce her chances of and accidental third pregnancy with Victorian/Edwardian era birth control.

tldr I don’t think Tessa menstruates consistently for 150+ years

[machlover54666]

i figured out how to do the "read more" thingie so now i shall rant abt inscryption card ive made ^_^

yall dont have to read it but its there (＾▽＾)

small update from myself while writing: ive only put 4 images and its a yapfest sjsjsja

im not the greatest artist (neither is my handwriting neat) so ejejwjwjw

its technically playable bc ive made the mat, a place where you can keep ur decks and some tokens (i dont have a scale so obvs its just Hit tokens <:])

ive also made like a manual thingie!! its technically in the game as a rule book but thats just the sigils

the cards there - ive made 54 total <:]

heres the first page thats not in game (along with the 6 squirrel cards ive made), it just states the set up, how to win and explains what means what on a card (ive had to sensor sacrifice bc im not sure if my parents will be fond of that o_0' instead its just killing/giving one card for another)

the talking cards ^_^ i think stunted wolf came out the best but i dont think you can see him too well bc of the light

stinkbug def came out the worst but thats okay bc if i had to rank them stinkbug would be last (even though shes kinda useful in game!!)

ive made like one of the "easter egg" (i think it is) cards, undead cat <:] it happens when you sacrifice the cat nine times (since it doesnt die when sacrificed ^_^)

again the light shines on one of the cards - poor magpie

these cards i think i did really well!! Especially Grizzly im really proud of it, i think its nearly exact to the actual card ^_^ (if u look it up sjsjsj)

in the actual game ive never used grizzly because of its 3 blood cost o_0 no thanks (but ive used its act 3 variant a few times)

more cards i think i did good on ^_^ (SORRY GREAT WHITE) expect bullfrog aaaa

its included bc my dad really likes how I drew Bullfrog (and says its better than the original one)

the cards behind long elk are just vertebrae (neck?) i made one too many 😭 in the game it leaves one in its old place when it moves (it has the sprinter sigil so of course it does)

i didnt do any more photos djsjsjs (the rest look rubbish anyway-) but yeah thank you so much for reading if u did ^_^ i appreciate it very much

[legacyshenanigans]

Alrighty, didn’t throw these in on the others in case people were uncomfy with NSFW (although if it’s Marvolo I don’t see how those can co exist 😅), but here’s my asks on NSFW headcanons/thoughts

And once again thank you my smut queen for taking the time to indulge me 💚💚

Has Marvolo every accidentally gone too far and hurt MC without meaning to? If so how did he react? Especially with caring for her, would he feel guilty or roll off his back?

Thoughts on Marvolo giving a sensual massage as a way to bridge the gap of him not being super romantic since it is sexy but still giving towards MC in his own way? (Maybe not candles but def a really good rub down and maybe some sweet words)

His fav positions?

Ones he hasn’t tried but wants to?

Things he has tried to indulge MC that he liked? Things he tried and didn’t?

Worst place(s) they’ve done it? Places they want to try?

His biggest kink(s) - could also be not explicitly sexual?

Things he has learned about himself while being the MC that surprised him in the bedroom?

Also it’s getting late in my time zone so I’m bout to go horny scrolling so I apologize 🤣

It's also super later where I am too, or early, depends how you look at it 😅 nearly 5am ahahaha. But I saw this ask and thought,

"Oof..I need to do this" 🫦😩🤣

I love these questions you have!! 💚🐍

I will undercut these NSFW answers❤️

1. One time when he was hitting her hard from the back, he pushed down on her back WAY to hard in a primal (not thinking straight) state to make her arch more so he could fuck her deeper, and absolutely blew her back out. She could barely walk the next day. They kinda laughed about it, but he did help her and stuff, and gave her lots of attention for being such a good girl that night and letting him go wild on her.

2. He'd have absolutely no issue giving her a massage if that's what she wanted, but it would end in sex 100%. Yeah, romance is a very strange world for Marvolo, and he does try at times because he knows MC likes it, and he wants to make her happy. He has the capability to be romantic because he can be incredibly charming, and those two things go hand in hand, but he still struggles with what romance is. Marvolos idea of romance is like him NOT spitting on her when they have sex 🤣 He also has no issue now telling MC he loves her and says sweet things to her pretty regularly.

3. Any positions where he can clearly see her face, he wants to SEE how he's making her feel, he wants to SEE it on her face, it's a huge turn on for him, even fucking doggy, he'll be growling at her telling her to look at him over her shoulder at him, he's very big on eye contact during sex.

4. I think its safe to say in his time he's done pretty much any position you can think off 🤣

5. Letting her take control more is something he will indulge in for MC, and he does enjoy it depending on his mood (I really need to do a fic on that haha)

6. Some people could argue the "worst place" they've done it is at the Den in the butchery room, even though MC and him enjoyed it. And I'd say they'd be down for it anywhere, to be honest. 🤣

7. One of his biggest kinks is "dark play." Type stuff, like causing pain, and then she's rewarded for taking it so well, with it getting a little worse each time (again, another fic I REALLY need to do) he also enjoys humiliation, him being the one causing it, obviously. (Ffs..Another one I now suddenly want to fucking do, but him letting MC do it to HIM 😅)

8. I wouldn't say there's much he's learnt about himself bedroom wize since being with MC. He just now has little bit more of an understanding that SOMETIMES sex doesn't HAVE to be rough, like lazy morning sex was something he'd NEVER done before meeting MC, and he rather enjoys that at times, which surprised him.

~

[judasisgayriot]

tagged by @floralegia <3

Last song: I think the last song I played was Bob Dylan by FOB (insane song.) we were playing a bunch of stuff out loud though, encompassing A Thousand Miles (complete banger, piano riff unmatched), to So Good by Bratz Rock Angelz (other songs are fine, but eh, they’re no So Good by Bratz Rock Angelz. Invented rock.)

Favourite colours: I’m obsessed with rainbow stuff lol, anything with all the bright rainbow colours together - that doesn’t really count though, so bright blue/teal is def my fave of them all! And also bright pink and purple - yay bi flag lol

Currently watching: current series of Doctor Who (it’s been good!) and also the latest Bridgerton eps - we watched 2 of the latest 4 and then went on holiday with no Netflix so we’ll have to watch the last 2 when we’re home (my main concerns are that both Benedict and Eloise are still gay and that’s FINAL. lmao)

Spicy/savoury/sweet: oh I love alllll (well, maybe medium spicy, not suuuuper spicy). I also love sweet/salty together and I love salty snacks. But ultimately probably sweet. I love the sweeter things in life <3

Relationship status: been in a relationship with @buildarocketboys for nearly 8 years! And I’m always dragging them into my obsessions lol sorry babe <3

Current obsessions: speaking of, can you tell I’m in my Fall Out Boy/Peterick era?? Lmao. It’s like my second FOB era bc I was obsessed with them like 15 years ago, but it’s my first Peterick era bc I didn’t super ship it back then. I’ve been a Patrick girlie from day one tho (RIP Wall of Patrick forever in my heart). But like. I can’t stop thinking about them whoops. Brainrot. The backstory is fully insane though, learning so much deep FOB lore has altered me. What the hell is their DEAL. Anyway.

I’ll always have dormant obsessions lying in wait, like Heroes/the Petrellis and Jesus Christ Superstar, and Pokemon is eternal and has been my main squeeze since I was 5. lol.

Tagging: most ppl I know might’ve been tagged by now? @remembertheskittles @skatingthinandice @afoxnamedmulder if u fancy and like everyone AKA tagged, lol <3

[300iqprower]

HRU Preview: Charlemagne

Not nearly as bad as I expected but still not exactly what I want. I like the parallel to Quirinus's on-crit-trait-effect thing, and it's especially nice that the 5 turn duration means unlike Quirinus there won't be any uptime issues. The star bomb is flat out unnecessary though and he would've been much better off with better NP gain up or....i can't believe I'm saying this, but yeah a small battery would've probably been better. A conditional one preferably, like based on how many X trait you have (paladins, knights, whatever). Also just like Quirinus, we really didn't need another "Crit focused Lancer/Saber with AOE Buster/Quick NP".

Either way, great for Charlie's gimmick, would be a lot better if his gimmick was something more unique rather than just a convuluted way of upping his NP Damage. At least with Quirinus you can use his Roma status with other Roman specific effects, this one is JUST for Charlie and his NP, so....yeah, let's give him wayyyyyyyyyy more! As well as take away one or two things, because Charlie's biggest issue is how redundant his kit is, whether in the sense of regarding himself or regarding how many servants already fill his niches.

Over the Royal Road C -> ‘C’

Apply Invincible to an ally (2 times, 3 turns). Increase own NP Gain if not Invincible (5 turns).^ [10-30%?] Apply buff to self if not Invincible (5 turns): Apply [Brave King] trait to self when attacked (5 turns). Inflict NP Seal on self if Invincible (1 turn) [Demerit]. Apply various effects based on Ascension. [For Ascension 1-2] - Apply [Fairy Tale] trait to self (5 turns). - Apply [Earth] attribute to self for ally support effects (3 turns). - Increase own Instant Death Resist by 100% (X times, 3 turns).[For Ascension 3] - Apply [Human] attribute to self for ally support effects only (5 turns). - Increase own Buff Removal Resist by 100% (X times, 5 turns). [X varies with skill level; 1 to start, 2 at 5, 3 at 7, 4 at skill level 9+]

Holy Knight Emperor EX -> ‘EX’

Increase ATK for all allies (3 turns). Apply Special ATK [Demonic] to self (3 turns). Increase own DEF against [Heaven] enemies (3 turns). Apply status to self (5 turns): If Critical Stars >35, apply Damage Cut to all allies based on the total number of stars. Choose an effect: - Apply Target Focus to all [Holy Warrior] allies (2 turns). - Increase NP Gauge for all [Paladin of Charlemagne] allies.^

(yes i replaced "Divine" with "Heaven". We have MORE than enough anti divine units already while i can count the number of anti-heaven units on one hand)

Mana Burst (Light) A -> A+

Increase own Critical Strength (3 turns).^ [20-65%] Increase own Quick Card effectiveness (3 turns).^ [20-40%] Further increase own Critical Strength against [Evil] alignment enemies (3 turns). Inflict Skill Seal on all [Evil or Insane] alignment enemies (1 turn). Chance to inflict NP Seal on all [Chaotic] enemies (1 turn). [40-80%] 85% Chance to inflict Confusion on all [Evil] alignment enemies (3 turns). [20-70%/turn] 500% Chance to inflict Myopia on all [Sight-Reliant] enemies (3 turns).

(Reminder: Myopia = all evade on units a Myopic unit attacks is treated as True Evade, meaning the Myopic unit cannot bypass it with Ignore Invincible)

Honestly this is only like 70% of what I have planned I'm still probably gonna give him at least 2 passives and definitely an NP rank up but since his official rank up for a skill dropped and people are asking, i'll go ahead and save that for the full write-up and post these now!

[lucigoo]

Weekly Roundup: 7th April - 14th April

So, this week has been a rough one, so im just addig my word count and othing else, will add my fics and recs at a alter day, but its 2:30 am in Monday (def not Sunday which I thought was Saturday ...) So I wrote 17,709 words with 4 fics uploaded. Okey Dokey, time t fix the weekly round up, recs first as always, but if I wait any longer, it will be Suday again lol. far across the distance - LinguisticJubilee - The Hobbit (Bilbo/Thorin, this one is lovely imo) Summary: Balin blinks, shifting backwards. “Laddie, it’s—it’s been a year. Bilbo has returned home, to the Shire.” He looks at Thorin, then says more gently, “I did not realize you counted the hobbit among your treasures.” Where I go, will you still follow? - ghostinthelibrary - Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Geralt/Jaskier, the plottwist is delicious angst) Summary: When Jaskier is revealed to be spying on Kaer Morhen for Redania—a treachery that nearly gets Eskel killed—he’s banished from the keep. But when it becomes clear that there was more to his lover’s betrayal than meets the eye, Geralt will have to race to find him before it’s too late. Fae!Jaskier and Geralt - TheBretonBookDragon - Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Geralt/Jaskier, I adore Fae Jaskier, and I legir re read the entire series today too) Summary:

The Mountain hangs over their heads, but Geralt is sure that if he just keeps trying that Jaskier will know how much he loves him. Jaskier has been quieter than usual, but that just means Geralt needs to try even harder. Too bad Geralt is just a smidge oblivious and emotionally constipated. Guardian of Kings - SunnyRose - The Hobbit by @sunnyrosewritesstuff (Bilbo/Thorin, one of my favs from Sunny, its clever and the world building, its just delicious) Summary: The Company has been having a good laugh as the story of their quest spreads through the mountain and more and more retellings makes Thorin out to be Bilbo’s damsel in distress. It stops becoming funny when Thorin’s honor is challenged, and it’s up to Bilbo to defend it. Thorin may be ready to smuggle his hobbit out of the mountain, but Bilbo will do it. For Thorin, he would do anything. Prize Enough for Me - StrivingArtist - The Hobbit (Bilbo/Thorin, BAMF Bilbo for the win, need I say more?) Summary: After falling in love months earlier with the Dwarven King, when Bilbo sees Thorin stabbed on Raven Hill, he decides to find vengeance. mercy and death on swift arrows fly - authoressjean - The Hobbit (Gen, hinted eventual Bagginshield, another BAMF Bilbo, but also, hes just lovely no matter what) Summary: Hunger Games AU with slow burn Bagginshield.

And now for mine. We have 4 fics I finished last week, and a revealed bonus one. Ive found Frodo ....and he found you? - Lucigoo89 - The Hobbit (Bilbo/Thorin, Animal Au. Badger Thorin/Skunk Bilbo written for my friend @shantismurf's bday <3) Summary: Canine distemper has stolen all of the Bagginses away apart from Bilbo and little Frodo. No he has to find his kit, who has wandered off, again, and keep them safe from "The Sick". If only he wasn't alone doing it. You're Floo Was My Emergency Contact (Sirius Black, Gen, written based off this wonderful video Satellitedide: Sirius after he's arrested... Summary: Sirius is in Moody and Kingsley's custody after Halloween 1981. Dumbeldore is his emergency contct but he isn't answering his floo.... I'm bitter: You were mine first (Jegulus, unhappy ending, mind the tags) Summary: James catches Regulus in an alley after a Death Eater attack. One thing leads to another and Regulus revels in the fact James isnt as good as he pretends to be, he never has been You were to late - Lucigoo89 - The Hobbit (Bilbo/Thorin, Canon comliant ish, mind the tags. Based int he @flashfictionfridayofficial prompt #248 - watching Birds) Summary: Bilbo is watching the eagles fly overhead in victory. With Thorin's cooling hand in his, Bilbo isnt sure what their is to feel victorious over. And final one. My first Mer au, for the @remuslupinfest High Tide Came and Brought You to Me (Mer Remus/Siren Sirius) Summary: Remus was cursed as a child and became a wermerman. 20 years later and he still hates himself and what he becomes once a month. Maybe some new additions to his cove will help him feel a bit more at peace with himself? Once again, I hope theres at least one thing for you to enjoy. Have a good rest of the week <3

[fluxrspar]

meta 01. character quantified.

(Also known as ‘the stats meta’.)

Preface: An essay attempting to translate the numbers of the game into a tangible narrative, written by one who often struggles with the task out of context. This is the culmination of nearly five weeks of research, compilation, and writing, and any attempting to read this in one sitting should make themselves comfortable beforehand.

Spoilers for Ephraim’s Route of The Sacred Stones. (Through Chapter 13.)

.01 – Intro

Before we move into the essay proper, I would like to establish that my number-crunching was by no means exhaustive—there were definitely more calculations I could’ve run, but the spreadsheet is, at present, 3 pages of comparisons (not including the stat dumping itself). Pardon me for not finding the space to cleanly do more comparisons without upending my entire foundation.

Sources for this include Serenes Forest for the base stats, growth rates, and stat caps, but I also did cross-reference with both the Fire Emblem wiki and the Fandom site during one portion of the essay in particular—you will know when you get there. That same segment was also supplemented by my own, admittedly rather messy, screenshots from in-game.

Now then.

.02 – Bases

To begin, we start where everyone begins—which is to say, with their base stats. Though Selena appears on the battlefield a handful of times across the duration of Sacred Stones (and namely—of Ephraim’s Route in particular), her first fighting appearance occurs in Ephraim Route Chapter 10: Turning Traitor, where she is given the task of executing Duessel—this is where we’ll be taking her base stats from.

Mage Knight (Level 8) HP: 38 MAG: 13 / SKL: 13 / SPD: 16 / LCK: 10 DEF: 11 / RES: 17 / MOV: 7 / CON: 6

Now, there are a few things to consider when interpreting these stats—first, that Selena is a pre-promote! As such, she has leveled up at least 16 times (the 9 to reach promotion level and then the 7 after she became a mage knight). If we compare her to Duessel, who is of the same level and recruited on the same map, he has a few points of HP and strength on her as well as a bit more res and a lot more defense, but she’s a bit luckier and has a bit more skill—and she’s 4 points faster than he is base.

Given that he is a physically-inclined Great Knight and she is a magically-inclined Mage Knight, none of that should be surprising—nor is it the strongest comparison, especially given that mages generally have a lower offensive stat than physical fighters due to resistance being a commonly low stat on both sides of the battlefield. So then, what is a better metric?

Well, if we happen to compile all of the base stats of all the playable pre-promotes in Sacred Stones (including the Creature Campaign units and also Myrrh since she doesn’t promote), then why not compare Selena’s base stats to their mean?

There is a wide range of levels, but that is from Saleh as a level 1 sage to Riev as a level 16 bishop, and the average level is 8 and some change! (Mean standard deviance is roughly 5 levels or so as well, for those interested.) Smacking Selena’s stats next to the average for pre-promotes, our numbers look like so:

And honestly? This is a reasonable stat spread! Her HP, skill, speed, luck, and defense are all pretty standard for a pre-promote—and for one roughly 8 levels into that class! Notably, her speed is a bit high, but not dramatically so, and her resistance is much higher than the average, but the former is a minor thing and the latter is, again, likely the result of resistance being a commonly low stat for non-mages. The same can be said of her magic stat—lower than average to not be too powerful—and her constitution is simply womanhood in this game I’m afraid. (That said, Syrene and Ismaire, the other two pre-promoted women, have a 7 in constitution! They could literally totally carry her.)

So then, we move onto—

.03 – Growths

Bases are pretty important for figuring out where a person begins, but where it’s really at when determining someone’s potential is their growths. You can have absolutely terrible bases and still turn out alright—or even great—with strong enough growths! Similarly, you can have amazing bases and become unviable if your growth rates are too low, or if you’re simply unlucky on too many level ups.

Usually, enemy growth rates would be equivalent to those of their class, but given that Selena is recruitable in the post-game via the Creature Campaign, she does get to have her own growth rates! They look like this:

HP: 85 MAG: 40 / SKL: 55 SPD: 40 / LCK: 25 DEF: 20 / RES: 30

Now, there are a couple of ways to contextualize these, but I first want to say—amazing HP growth, queen! Live your life! Get that vitality! Stay breathing! You’re perfect!

(I’d also like to quickly mention that while the Mage Knight growth rates don’t impact Selena’s in any way, it is fun to see that her HP growth is 40 points higher, her skill is 25 points higher, and her defense is 10 points higher. The trade-off is a luck that is 15 points less and a res growth that is 10 points less, but I still see this as a net win for the Fluorspar.)

Now then, using the same table as above but with every character and for growths instead of bases, the numbers look like so:

For the purposes of comparison, I marked differences to be significant once it was 10 or more away from the mean (initially, it was 15, but none of her stats are that variant). Regardless, her strengths appear to be within HP and skill (which both have pretty average bases), and her weakness is in luck (which also starts a point above the mean). There is always the consideration that this mix includes both physical fighters and magicians, but these extremes are still present when we compare just the mages:

I separated the table by those who use tomes (anima/light/dark; Table 1) and those who use staves (Table 2) on acquisition—that said, the middle of each comparison stays pretty consistent across the two, so whether Selena hypothetically promoted from a mage or a troubadour doesn’t change much! Her HP and skill growths are notably higher than her peers, even topping both tables (though tied with Lyon; let’s go, Grado!), and her defense growth is also slightly above average for tome users, but it’s only 2 points above the median. We like to call that standard.

By contrast, her magic growth is kinda low (though not the worst! She’s barely higher than Saleh!), her luck edges out against only two or three people per table, and her resistance growth is… not the best. But she is still a mage, and therefore, her below average resistance is still of the average overall!

Now then, we can use these growth rates to do a neat little trick! (Which is to say: I can figure out what her approximate level 1 unpromoted base stats were based on various potential promotion levels and her growth rates.)

As aforementioned, Selena has had a minimum of 16 level ups—so, if we take her growths, multiply them by 7 and then divide by 100 (because the growth rates are percentages and we’re going to need them as decimals), we can round and subtract to get her stats post-promotion! Those look like:

Mage Knight (Level 1) HP: 32 MAG: 10 / SKL: 9 / SPD: 13 / LCK: 8 DEF: 10 / RES: 15 / MOV: 7 / CON: 6

Not too bad? That skill stat is not looking too hot though, especially given it’s a 55% growth and this is after she’s already gotten at least 9 level ups. Removing the bonuses she got from promoting, her pre-promotion stats look like this:

?? (Level X) HP: 29 MAG: 8 / SKL: 8 / SPD: 13 / LCK: 6 DEF: 8 / RES: 13 / MOV: 4 or 6 / CON: 4 or 5

(Sacred Stones has a branching promotion system, so she could’ve promoted from either mage or troubadour [shown above in that order]; all that changes is what her initial movement and con would’ve been though, so I’m leaving it ambiguous what her old class likely was.)

Yeah, these stats are… not looking too great! We get another screenshot here to demonstrate me guessing what level she promoted at, and with her really solid growth rates, only one level seems all too probable:

The higher her promotion level is, the more questionable her bases become, so one can safely assume she promoted as soon as possible—which is to say, level 10 or so.

At the very minimum, her growths are solid enough that, even with some rather eyebrow-raising implied base stats, by the time she reaches promo level 20, her stats will, on average, appear as something close to:

Mage Knight (Level 20) HP: 48 MAG: 18 / SKL: 20 / SPD: 21 / LCK: 13 DEF: 13 / RES: 21 / MOV: 7 / CON: 6

And that’s good enough I think! I didn’t do any calculations to see how they compared to other maxed out units, but if she was fighting on my team in the main story, she would Handle Things, I believe! (Truly, that’s all that matters in my heart of hearts <3)

Ah, but recall how I mentioned earlier that all of this was based on her first fighting appearance? Well, Selena actually has two! The second is in her namesake chapter, Chapter 13: Fluorspar’s Oath. Here, we encounter a Selena who is now level 11, and her stats now look like:

Mage Knight (Level 11) HP: 38 MAG: 13 / SKL: 13 / SPD: 16 / LCK: 10 DEF: 11 / RES: 17 / MOV: 7 / CON: 6

Ah. Hm. That… looks a bit inaccurate actually! If one may allow me to double-check my sources…

This calls for me to do my own research actually! (I speedran my Ephraim save to get from chapter 9 to 13 deathless during my free time between classes.)

(Pardon the UI overlay; I hadn’t expected to use these screenshots in the essay directly.) Oh hey! I screenshot the little mage knight animation in the same pose both times! What the fuck.

So there has been no mistake! Between her appearances in Turning Traitor and Fluorspar’s Oath, Selena gains three empty level ups. With her luck, defense, and res growths at 25%, 20%, and 30% respectively, I can’t say I’m too surprised there—but her HP is 85. Her skill is 55!

I blame this on Valter. (He’s the reason you don’t actually fight Selena in chapter 10, making the first ‘fighting appearance’ actually just a show.) They brought her level down (or up? It depends on the development pipeline) 3 levels and decided, ‘Well, the player didn’t actually fight her the first time. No need to change the stats.’ (They massacred my girl.)

Now, beforehand it was actually possible for her to cap her skill, speed and resistance if she leveled them up almost all 12 of her remaining levels! With the three empty level ups, this is no longer possible.

Ah, but I’ve been rather vague about her caps, haven’t I? I suppose I should address those!

.04 – Caps

Sacred Stones stat caps are actually by class! It is not an entry unique in this regard, but I feel like that should be explicitly stated so that we are all on the same page. These caps are not unique to Selena, but to she and those of her creed! Also the women, specifically, of her creed. (Because gender.) For women Mage Knights, the caps are:

Mage Knight (Level 20) HP: 60 MAG: 25 / SKL: 24 / SPD: 25 / LCK: 30 DEF: 24 / RES: 28 / MOV: 15 / CON: 25

The HP stat cap is universal across all classes (including unpromoted ones), so nothing to comment there; practically every cap is within 2 points of the average—the exceptions being constitution (which doesn’t really count because every mounted class is 25), skill, and resistance.

The skill cap for troubadours is 3 points below average (though it is only two if you take into consideration only the woman versions of each of the classes); resistance, however, is 3 points above average—and this distinction is maintained even when accounting for gender differences! This means that while Selena’s potential as a mage knight is generally the same as everyone else’s in their respective classes, her peak is slightly less accurate but slightly more resilient against magic.

I don’t have as much to say here as I did in the other sections, so let’s talk about that cool thing we don’t have in modern games anymore!

.05 – Affinity

I will admit, I didn’t initially intend to talk about affinity in this essay, but seeing how it uses numbers to impact her combat capabilities, let’s go into that!

Selena’s affinity (as seen in my earlier screenshots) is Thunder—a fitting one given her iconic usage of Bolting! When she is near enough to units she has triggered supports with (which, in-game, is no one, but that’s because she’s an unrecruitable enemy! That’s not her fault!), she and her companion gain bonuses to their defense, evasion, crit rate, and critical evade! Each affinity gives most of the bonuses however, so what may be more interesting to analyze may be what her affinity does not grant—which is to say, a bonus to attack or hit rate. (This is someone who emphasizes defensive capabilities and the ability to pull through in a pinch over consistent offense—the emperor’s shield, not his sword).

Not much to say about affinity either, but I think it’s super neat and wanted to include it!

.06 – Character

With everything compiled and annotated, we can finally turn these digits into a narrative—which is to say, by analyzing Selena’s unique strengths and weaknesses as a soldier (and a mage specifically), we can weave into the world a story; a beginning, middle, and end.

To start—her beginning. Whether she started off as a mage or a staff user, she was one with a strong resilience to magic, a quickness to her combat, and a plethora of vitality. Though she was lacking in skill and was not the luckiest of recruits, she was physically able—that, and sheer will, would surely suffice.

Magic became her chosen aptitude, though she wasn’t quite as strong as her peers (not by much, and it would not stop her), and her resilience grew at a steady pace; the mages of her allies grew resistant faster, but she could take a hit.

Plenty of hits, actually. Even the strong ones—she could take hits.

And that was what set her apart: she was not the strongest mage, nor the strongest weapon to wield against one, but she could stand steady against magic and blades alike—she had the knowledge to wield great magic, but she lacked the weakness to weapons that often accompanied it. All things at a cost, but a shield need not weaponize—that was the last resort. Selena’s purpose and intention was primarily to defend.

So she builds her fortitude; she builds her knowledge; she builds her experience; and she wields distant offense as her own kind of impenetrable shield.

Then war is declared, and the shield’s edges are sharpened to attack. What time would’ve been spent growing in strength instead is wasted—she gains experience, but it does not bear any fruit. Then the time comes to prove herself.

She never gets to meet her potential. (War had taken away the chance.)

[amwife]

GUESS WHOSS BACKKK

i may or may not have forgotten ab this acc bcs ive got multiple tumblr accs☺️☺️

BUTTT I CAME BACK AND WAS SCROLLING THRU MY FOLLOWING ND SAW THE RANKING BETA SQUAD MEMBS (+Darkest, Johnny, Gib, and Harry!) SO THATS WHAT WE ARE DOINN 🙈🙈 also this took my days to write cos i forgot ab it multiple times ☺️!

10. Johnny.

ive been seeing all the love for him on the posts but idk hes jus not it for me 😓. OFC HES STILL GOODLOOKING, js not as good compared to the rest

9. Filly.

iffff i were to be honest ☺️...i dont rlly like filly much at all. like obv i have no hatred ive jus never really enjoyed any videos more when him (or johnny) r in it. DONT COME AT ME 😣

8. Kenny

DONT GET ME WRONG. I LOVE KENNY. but on the looks scale he might not be that high up JUS FOR ME COS IDK ITS MY TYPE plus i think i dont like him as much cos none of his content rlly sparks interest to me

7. Harry

HARRYS SO FUNNY TO ME MAN. altho in the cupid whatevs videos was a lil bit errrrrrrrrr then again ive had my errrrrr moments for nearly all of them so no biggie to me. HE IS SO FINE THO.

6. Niko

ok ik ppl actually will hate me for this BUT I NEVER GOT THE HYPE. like everyone always says him or sharky r the finest in the beta squad but idkk BUT HE IS STILL FINE YK ☺️..

5. Gib

OMD IK YALL LYIN WHEN U PUT HIM SO LOW. gib is so mighty fine it HURTS. the mafia and the cake video hes in nd he looks fine ash in them both. never watched his content tho so 😣

4. Sharky

ok so i used to be OBSESSED with sharky when i first got into the beta squad but i feel like everyone ws until they find their actual fav. not saying hes bad or anyt cos i binged most of his vids nd hes still fine ash ‼️‼️

3. Darkest

OH MY LORDDDDDD. no bc yea he may b a lacking smth on top but HIS PERSONALITY. nd his build ☺️!! IDK JS SMTH AB HIM IS SO FINEEEEEEEEE

2. Chunkz

OML HES SO FINE LIKE HE GETS NO APPRECIATION ND I DONT GET IT 🤬🤬 BUT MANS IS LEGIT SO FINE ND HIS GLOW UP TWICE?? CRAZY. IDC IF HE MIGHT NOT CARRY BETA SQUAD RN BUT HES DEF THE ONE WHO MADE IT.

1. Aj

MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN. no bc omd hes js so FINE. like hes got the best style idc what anyone says like even when beta squad ws still kinda small he still dressed the best ND HES JS SO UGHH LIKE IDC AB HIS HEIGHT UR STILL TALLER THAN ME 😘😘💍💍