#but damn does he have it bad for that crazy bitch

[arc-en-disco]

IQUITOS, PERU—Despite his continued efforts to drive him out of his goddamn mind and turn his every waking hour into some kind of living nightmare, Werner Herzog admitted Monday that he still loves that crazy bitch.

“Aw, who am I kidding? That nut-job’s really got my number,” Herzog told reporters after being screamed at for literal hours by the total psycho. “He may not give me a moment’s peace and I can’t serve him a lukewarm coffee without hearing about it for a week, but what can I do? He’s the one. That fucking lunatic is the one.”

Herzog then discussed for the umpteenth time how on earth he would manage to drag a ship over a mountain with his crew, sighed, and restarted the excavator used to flatten the terrain for his new epic feature.

Herzog's proclamation of love for that big sack of crazy comes in direct contradiction to a statement he made in Iquitos last week. After getting into an argument with his boyfriend over the meals served during the film shooting, Herzog was reportedly thrown right into a river branch by the fucking basket case, who just five minutes later assaulted his costar Ms. Cardinale for “hogging the spotlight with her face and fake-ass sunny demeanor” and was promply thrown in himself.

During the intervening minutes, Herzog made a number of statements to documentary maker and friend Les Blank regarding his boyfriend’s unstable mental health, fluctuating emotions, and irritating yucca allergy before reconciling with the bat-shit insane man in the bunk of his rusty boat.

Although Herzog has tried multiple times to leave that crazy bitch once and for all, he has thus far been unsuccessful. His most recent attempt came shortly after the tumultuous filming of Nosferatu and Woyzeck (which all happened in just a few breathless, manic weeks), but was ultimately delayed when Herzog couldn’t imagine his life without the raving sociopath.

“Maybe it’s the way he nonchalantly destroyed a bathroom in a lodging we once stayed in, saying it didn't suit his monumental aura, or the way he threatens to strangle me every time I make a directorial suggestion, but damned if I don’t adore his crazy ass,” Herzog said. “I’ll kill him someday, I swear, but that wack-job is going to end up being the star in my best known films.”

Friends said they have seen the couple go through many difficult times in years past, including that night when the crazy bitch had a little bit too much to drink and accused Herzog of giving his crew too much attention when one of them needed to be escorted to a hospital right away after a near-fatal snakebite, and that incident, a few weeks back, when he had a four-hour screaming rage fit and refused to shut the fuck up until Herzog had slowly chewed up the last piece of Toblerone in his face. Still, movie critics confirmed that Herzog and his old clown always seem to deliver great flicks in the end, a trend that may suggest those crazy fucks are perfect for each other.

“If my girlfriend woke up everyone in our cast, crew and one-mile radius in the middle of the night every time I carefully pondered maybe I wanted to reshoot a five-second sequence the next morning, I’d probably leave her” Herzog's longtime collaborator and friend Walter Saxer said. “But Werner? Man, does he have it bad for that crazy bitch. No self respect, I tell you.”

Saxer could not be reached for further comment, as he is currently recovering in César Garayar García Hospital for talking shit about the love of Herzog's life.

Inspiration

[arolesbianism]

Horrible realization that if I go through with recollecting all the oni logs then I'll have to actually find out how to get "a seed is planted" like for realsies this time. Maybe I should just cheat them all in actually. <3.

[nonasuch]

IT IS TIME: Miss Universe National Costume 2023

it's here! the Met Gala for people who actually understand what camp is!

yes I'm like 3 months late, but I sat down and watched the damn thing. I put up with the horrible little rhyming couplets for each contestant so you don't have to. and without further ado:

Albania: Starting off very Victoria’s Secret this year! Apparently it’s gold for important symbolism reasons, not just because everything in this competition is blinged out to within an inch of its life. The wings do look nice in motion!

Angola has a good balance of bling, actual cultural dress, and oh hey it has surprise bonus art on the back! That will be a theme this year.

Argentina: Why is there a guy in a hat right down at the bottom edge of her cape. He looks like he’s staring at her butt. How does this represent their flag.

Aruba: This is fine. I like the coral. She thinks climate change is bad. Her parrot is clearly way too heavy to hold up and it wobbles like crazy in motion.

Australia: This is now multiple years in a row that Australia has just worn a fucking prom dress. It’s got native wildflowers on. You could have made this exact same dress with a Great Barrier Reef theme and I would have liked it 80% more.

Bahamas: This costume is allegedly based on a 19th-century doll from the Bahamas “world famous straw market,” which is already bullshit; I googled “bahamas straw market antique doll” and like. they both have big skirts? I guess? Anyway now I’m too distracted by the way she has a hoop skirt awkwardly jammed under there and hiked up on one side. Minus ten for poor construction.

Bahrain's theme is “Bahrain’s pearl heritage,” which like. I guess? The headdress and yoke are pretty. Put more pearls on the actual outfit. Kudos for getting to wear pants.

Belgium: Girl. No. Why is your theme “Latin dance” and why are you wearing a spangly cocktail dress with a totally unrelated piece of fabric fluttering behind it? (Apparently the fabric was designed by a member of Belgium’s royal family? Who is a fashion designer? This is what nepotism gets you.)

Bolivia saw Aruba’s parrot and was like, I can do that better. And she was right! It’s way less wobbly and the costume as a whole does work better. Also made from recycled materials, so we’ll see if that’s a theme again this year. The back of the cape is nice too.

Sadly, Bolivia's parrot supremacy was short-lived, because Brazil was like, bitch please. I see your sad little parrots and raise you FOUR giant parrots, and also the shoulder parrots are articulated and can turn their heads back and forth. I think Brazil wins the parrot competition that only she knew she was in.

[slasherscream]

the absolute INSANITY of the pushing your s/o away thing with the crazy ass boy gang… it’s like triggering a dog’s prey drive but for serial killers w abandonment issues

CRAZY ASS BOYS GANG + PUSHING THEIR HAND AWAY/REJECTING AFFECTION

❥ who gets pissed the fuck off ❥

Billy Loomis - Is irritated off rip. Billy plays it cool but he needs physical affection from you. He’s casual about it so he flies under the radar, but this is a stage five clinger. He’s always doing something small. Touching your fingers. A hand on your back. Neck. Sitting behind you instead of putting you directly in his lap. It’s little stuff. Hovering. Smack his hand away one of these times and his jaw clenches right away. “What the hell is your problem?” Please snuggle up to him and don’t start world war 3. It’s not worth the joke. 

Kevin Khatchadourian - Quick question, why do this to yourself? Kevin does not need, nor does he particularly enjoy, physical contact. Period. He is gracious enough to give you physical contact because he knows you’re built different (pathetic). For you to then turn around and spit in the face of him being kind enough to meet your needs? …. Quite crazy of you. The look he gives you is pure confusion because he’s honest to God baffled. What do you want to accomplish here? Go ahead and start begging now, because he’s not touching you for a long while. 

Sparrow!Ben Hargreeves - Swings wildly between damn near dodging any physical affection you attempt to give him to hanging off you like a squid on a ship. No in-between. For you to have the audacity to reject him when he’s feeling clingy? How dare you. He doesn’t have to beg anyone for attention! Did you forget who you’re dating? Doesn’t even care if you did it with obvious playfulness. He’s sensitive. He’s tender. He’s a bitch. He goes to get up and leave entirely and you have to grab him and beg him to cuddle so this doesn’t become a week long cold war. Happy ego stroking! 

Stu Macher - What you’re not about to do is ruin his mood. Baby, he’s about to ruin yours. How about that? If you push his hands off you once he enjoys a little playful bitchiness. Playing hard to get. He likes to chase, it’s cool. Twice? Okay…. We’re irritating him. Three times? He’s gonna grab your hand, stop smiling, and stare at you. When he places his hand back where it belongs, on your thigh, don’t act up again. He could make your whole week go to shit. Don’t start wars you won’t win. He’s the king of playing stupid games and winning stupid prizes. 

Nathan Prescott - Has to bluster and get visibly pissed off because he is rejection sensitive to a degree that is astounding, frankly. Let you see him upset after he tried to be affectionate and you said no? Hah! Not fucking likely. Being physically affectionate in the first place doesn’t come easy to him. Quality time is more his speed. Even worse if it wasn’t a sexual advance he was making. He tried to wrap an arm around you and you shrug him off? You’ll be lucky to get a hello out of him for the next week. Good luck soldier.

David Mccall - Outwardly, he pretends to be despondent and sheepish when you bat his hand away. He’s using sadness as a shield. If he’s sad then you might feel bad and give in. He’ll use any tool in his arsenal to get his way. One of his greatest skills is speaking in a soft voice, just shy of how you’d speak to a toddler, and telling you: “I didn’t mean to upset you, sweetheart. I’m sorry.” This is all to hide the fact that you rejecting him in any way, shape, or form makes him so angry he can barely think. You might be able to catch the rage hidden behind the veil. If you’re quick enough. David puts on a convincing show, but his gentle smile is twitching at the edges.

❥ who gets sad and mopey ❥

Jordan Li - Oh you pushed them away? No, that’s cool, it’s totally fine. You can want space. Everyone’s entitled to their own space bubble. Of course. Are you having a bad day? Are you mad at them? Did they do something wrong? Did they piss you off? These are the types of questions Jordan is going to “casually” ask for the next ten minutes while they sit really close to you. They’re not touching you! They always sit with their legs spread so wide. Their arm isn’t around you, it’s on the back of the couch. You’re nitpicking here, babe. They’re staring at you with their big brown eyes. No, they didn’t get any closer while you weren’t looking. 

Josh Washington - Why would you do this to him? Don’t push his hand off you unless you mean it or you’re being obviously playful about it. If you pretend to be mad at him while you do it, no matter how unconvincing of an actor you are, he will believe you. Sensitive king. He also won’t go to touch you again until you initiate the contact. Physical touch is reassuring and comforting to him but even he (category five clinger) gets touch aversion at times. As observant as he is, he knows some people are uncomfortable asserting their boundaries, so they’ll try to soften the blow of saying no by being “playful”. He cannot take the risk! You could mean it but don’t want to hurt his feelings. Josh interprets many playful no’s as real ones. Better safe than sorry.

❥ secret third worse thing ❥

Sebastian Valmont - Doesn’t take it for anything more than what it is. If you’re being playful he recognizes it. If you’re seriously not wanting to be touched at any given moment he understands that as well. However, in the case of being playful, you’ve started a war you can’t win. Because, as much as Sebastian enjoys chasing you…  Sebastian also likes to be chased. Ten minutes from now you’ll go to give Sebastian’s cheek a kiss and he’s going to dodge you. Hard. To such an extent it’s bordering on insult. He’ll be wearing a cat that got the canary grin all the while. 

Jason Dean/JD - Doesn’t take you seriously even if you are dead serious. I’m sorry, you’ve discovered his worst character trait by far. Most boundaries are a joke to him. He always wants to touch you. He loves you! He craves you like a drug. You should feel the same for him, in equal measure and desperation. So why wouldn’t you want him touching you? Holding you close. He’s so gentle with you (usually). His arms should feel like home. No matter how long a day you’ve had. No matter how overwhelmed you might be with sound, sight, touch. In JD’s eyes you’re one soul in two bodies. He always wants you near. He knows you want the same. You’re just a little dramatic sometimes.

[wonderjanga]

Billy and Freddy along with Mary watches gacha reaction videos (if you don't know what that is your missing out). But they can only do it in the watch tower and stuff due to the lack of technology in Fawcett. This ideas been going around in my head for a while and I KNOW Freddy would love it.

Hal was having a normal day. The sun was shining, the Earth looked beautiful from the Watchtower. He wanted to go watch the game on one of the Watchtower’s gigantic and beautiful TVs.

GL: *on his merry way to one of the rec rooms, whistling a little tune*

Marvel and Junior: *occasional gasps*

GL: *thinking they’re watching a horror movie and decides he’ll just watch it with them until it’s over* “Hey guys-”

Marvel and Junior: *sitting right in front of the screen, staring like iPad babies and watching a Rivals react to Ayano Aishi vid*

GL: *stares for like a solid second* “What- What the fuck are y’all doing?”

Marvel: *pauses it* “Huh?” *looks back to Hal*

GL: “Why are you guys watching this baby content?”

Junior: *sounds offended* “It’s not baby stuff.”

GL: “Uh yeah. It is.”

Marvel: “No, it isn’t. Stop being a hater.”

GL: “Marvel, you’re a grown ass man. And Junior? You’re at least 14. Why are you watching this??”

Junior: “It’s entertaining.”

GL: “Entertaining. Really?”

Marvel: “Yeah! Come on.” *pats a spot next to him* “Watch it with us.”

GL: “Dude, no.”

Marvel and Junior: *share a look* “Watch it. Watch it. Watch it.” *chanting*

Hal eventually caved.

That’s how he found himself sitting on the floor with them, and watching a surprisingly entertaining “mha reacts to deku as kokichi video”. A couple minutes later, Mary came by with snacks and joined them.

Mary: “I brought some Cheetos and popcorn- wha? You guys started without me?!”

Marvel and Junior: “Sorry, Mary.” *in unison and in shame*

Mary: *sighs and just sits down with them* “Why’s Green Lantern here??

GL: “I just found the fact that a grown man finds this entertaining very interesting.” (He’s actually completely enthralled in these but he’s too embarrassed to admit it)

Mary: “Uh huh… sure.”

Hal’s a little ashamed to admit that they spent like two hours straight doing this until they transitioned into the GLMMs.

GL: “Wait, I don’t get it. Why does the Mom just not love her child?”

Marvel: *shrugs* “Cause she’s mean.”

A couple minutes later…

GL: “Wait, why did the dad die?!”

Mary: “For story progression!”

Like ten minutes later…

GL: “She’s a wolf-cat-angel-demon-unicorn hybrid…?”

Junior: “Yep, she’s special!”

GL: “HAH! Her bitch of a sister’s just a cat!”

Marvel, Mary, and Junior: *all just happy Hal’s invested*

After a couple GLMMs such as Bad Girls vs Gangsters, Emotionless Girl, and The CEO is my Boss, (shout out to everyone who watched these) they moved on to even more kiddy content. Such as Fnaf videos, but not just any… no no no, these ones

After the Fnaf thingy…

GL: “Damn.” *stands up* “My ass hurts from sitting on the ground for so long.”

Marvel: “Dang…” *pauses their next gacha vid* “So you’re out?”

GL: “Yup.” *stretches*

Mary: “It was nice having you Mr. Green Lantern Sir.”

Junior: “Yeah, thanks for letting us put you on.”

Marvel, Mary, and Junior: *same blinding smile*

Also, by the way, they were definitely watching GLMVs and singing along to “I’m a bad girlfriend” and “She’s crazy but she’s mine” and “Copycat” and “Queen.” All of which were and still are peak and I stand by that till this day.

[jinwoosbabyboo]

Watch Your Mouth

Dealing with someone talking shit about your man and you stand up for them because you're not about to let someone talk crazy about your man. A/N: I like to imagine this as an office girly scene and you have that one hater ass bitter coworker [Requested by: onliafaze]

Zayne

You could tell you were coming down with a cold and it was going to be a bad one. Zayne just so happened to have the day off and you were struggling to make it through your last shift before your days off. So being the loving boyfriend that he is, he brought you homemade soup and some cold medicine. He even kissed you before leaving not caring that you might get him sick as well. Just another reason to spend the day in bed with you. You sat at your desk with the biggest smile on your face. Suddenly a bitch with a voice like nails on a chalk board decided to insert herself into your bubble.

Hater: If you took better care of yourself your man wouldn’t have to waste his time coming all the way here to bring you soup MC: Weren't you sick last month and your man told you he was going to leave until you were healthy again and proceeded to ignore you for a week? Hater: ..... MC: Just because your man doesn’t care about you doesn’t mean you need to project on me Hater: I’m not projecting! MC: ………Whatever helps you sleep at night miss girl

Once you get home to tell Zayne what happened when he left, him being the sensible person that he is, suggests that maybe your coworker was just in a bad mood.

MC: Don't defend her Zayne: Sorry I meant her man hates her MC: Thank you

Rafayel

Rafayel truly had eyes for you and you only. He cared very little for others feelings you were the one and only exception. He also hated to be touched so when your coworker saw you constantly having a hand on him, when he would come by the office, she thought she’d try her luck. Rafayel immediately looked at her like she smeared the most vile thing known to man on his arm.

Hater: Your man is rude as hell MC: To you. Hater: No he’s just rude MC: To you. Hater: Why just me MC: You’re weird … who grabs on another woman's man right in front of her? You’re weird Hater: You’re rude as hell too you guys are made for each other MC: Cry about it

Rafayel stared at you in admiration while you told him what went down after he left.

Rafayel: Have I ever told you how hot you are when you get serious? MC: Yes all the time

Xavier

“Damn it I left my tea in my car” You had gotten all the way up to your desk when you realized what you were forgetting. On top of that it was cold so you were dreading having to walk in it again. Maybe you could make a cup in the office kitchen, but they only have sugar and you prefer honey; you prefer your tea. “I’ll go grab it for you just stay here and warm up” Xavier said as he appeared next to you with that soft expression he always has when he looks at you. “Thank you Xav you’re so sweet” You handed him your keys and watched as he quickly made his way out of the office before turning and smiling to yourself.

Hater: What is he a dog? Does he do everything for you? MC: ….. You know if your man hates you just say that Hater: M-my man doesn’t hate me w-why would you say that? MC: Look at you stuttering and shit did I hit a nerve? Hater: Whatever MC: Have the day you deserve babes!

Xavier approached you right as your coworker barged past him almost knocking the tea from his hand. He looked back with confusion etched across his face before turning back to you.

Xavier: What happened? MC: She was just admiring the relationship we have Xavier: What really happened? MC: She wanted smoke so I gave her a barbecue

Sylus

Thanks to Sylus wanting to spoil you at all time your office was the most decorated with all new everything and was even professionally designed to be organized and efficient. People loved to come by and admire your office set up. Except for one person who just seems to turn her nose up at you. She pouts for hours on end when Sylus makes his appearance to bring you lunch, flowers or even a ‘just because’ gift when he wants to see you. You ignored this bitter coworker day in and day out because why would you need the kind of negativity in your life? One day though she finally decided to voice her unwanted opinion to you.

Hater: You only have all of that because your man buys you everything MC: Yea … he does … tell your man to work harder Hater: That is so insensitive what if I'm single? MC: I can see why….. Hater: What's that supposed to mean!? MC: You're insufferable I wouldn't date you either

Sylus always found your attitude cute and it was even better when it wasn't directed at him.

Sylus: You said she was insufferable? MC: Somebody had to do it Sylus: and you were the perfect one for the job huh? MC: I was defending you praise me Sylus: I've never been defended before thank you Princess

[niningtori]

mastermind | oneshot

pairing: choi beomgyu x you

summary: you should be used to your relationships failing by now, but after finding out your boyfriend, yeonjun, cheated on you, you're devastated yet again. and beomgyu, your best friend, is there to pick up the pieces, just like always. but isn't it a little odd that things just never seem to work out?

genre: romance, angst, smut (MDNI), yandere

warnings: YANDERE!GYU, manipulation, gaslighting, SMUT (MDNI!) creampie, breeding kink, pregnancy kink, dirty talk, degradation, if i missed anything pls lmk!

word count: 5.1k

notes: ... hi. i'm reposting this with major edits but i hope you all still like it!

｡o.ﾟ｡*･♡♡･*｡ﾟo｡ ｡o.ﾟ｡*･♡♡･*｡ﾟo｡

do you love your boyfriend? of course. do you trust him? of course. so are you surprised to see a photo of him very clearly making out with another woman? well, of course.

your friends, your family, and even passersby would simply tell you you shouldn’t be, though. yeonjun used to be very well known for his sexual escapades, so when you announced he was your boyfriend, nobody was particularly happy for you. especially not your best friend in the whole world, beomgyu. 

“he’s just gonna hurt you, just like the last one!” 

you remember flinching at this. you remember how hurt and indignant you felt at the time. you also remember the silent treatment you gave him, and the cold war that began shortly thereafter. he apologized afterwards, of course, but you had asked him what was so bad about you that he couldn’t just believe that yeonjun had changed for you. he was silent at this, which only made you even angrier. it was all pointless in the end, you suppose.

as you sit on beomgyu’s couch, your phone rings again. you have a special ringtone for yeonjun, so you don’t even bother to check the caller id before you silence it. he’s been calling you incessantly since you texted him that you saw the picture and were done with him. your face is downcast and if you weren't so consumed by your sadness, you'd notice the faint look of delight in beomgyu’s eyes. 

“i think you should just block him,” he says as nonchalantly as he can muster. maybe in another state of mind, you'd register the satisfaction in his tone, but right now? all you can sense is his urgency, which can easily be explained away by selfless and sincere concern. just how he likes it.

“you’re right,” you sigh. “i guess i just don’t understand. things were going so well, and then he goes and does this to me. i don’t know what i did wrong,” you say while burying your face in your hands. he almost can’t control the way his lips want to curl up at this, but he’s become nothing if not a master of containing his true emotions. he’s kept them from your prying eyes for years, after all.

“aww, baby. it’s not you, it’s him. he’s just not the right guy for you,” he coos, but for some reason, you can’t help but be annoyed at his kindness. 

“i know you want to say i told you so, so say it,” you snap, pulling your face from your hands and scowling at him.

“i don’t want —” 

“if you wanted me to learn my lesson, i’ve learned it, alright? i don't need to be taught again,” you say with a huff. you know you’re being unreasonable. you know you’re being a bitch, but you just can’t help it. who told beomgyu to be right about your potential partners all the damn time? fuck his crazy-accurate intuition.

he looks genuinely hurt by your harsh words, though, so you can’t help but feel a wave of regret wash over you. you’re drowning in it, even, as you watch his puppy eyes gloss over.

“beomie, baby, i’m so sorry,” you say, gently grabbing his face with one hand and pushing his long hair behind his ear with the other. “i know i’m being awful to you when you’re just trying to help.”

“it’s okay,” he says solemnly, looking like a kicked puppy. “as long as you’re sorry.” somehow, his easy acceptance of your apology makes you feel even worse. you pull him in for a hug and he buries his face in your neck to a) soak up your scent and b) hide his growing smirk. but you’re too caught up in your feelings to notice.

“it’s really okay,” he assures once you part.

“no, it isn’t. i’m being a shitty friend. how about you stay over tonight? we can watch a movie and i’ll order something for us to eat,” you suggest. he graciously accepts your peace offering and the night is spent with giggles and an overt amount of cuddling.

as you’re drifting off to sleep, you feel beomgyu plant a kiss on your forehead. to anyone else, this might come across as oddly intimate, but you know better. people have said that you two would make a good couple, but you two do nothing but laugh it off every time. they just don’t understand your dynamic. he’s a man like any other, you guess, but seeing him as anything other than a friend is simply laughable. you know he feels the same exact way about you, too, which is why you are unfazed by his next words. 

“i love you. it’s just — i just love you so much, you know?” he whispers.

“aww, beomie. you know i love you, too. you’re my best friend in the whole world,” you murmur as sleep finally overcomes you.

if the lights were on, you’d see how his face falls and contorts into something like a grimace.

-

yeonjun has been spamming you like crazy, so you listen to beomgyu and block his number as well as his social media accounts. you think this whole chapter of your life is over, but, as always, you are wrong.

a week or so after your messy breakup, a sudden knock at your door pulls your attention away from mindless scrolling on your phone. you don't think much of it — it’s probably just beomgyu with some takeout, or something. however, when you look through the peephole, you realize that yeonjun is not finished bothering you just yet. 

“baby, please. i know you’re there. please, just open up. i’ll explain everything!” he pleads. you’re not particularly known for your callousness of heart, so it doesn’t take much more begging for you to feel guilty and let him in. you open your door with a sigh. 

“thank you!” yeonjun says with a look of pure relief as he hurriedly enters your apartment. he takes a seat on your couch (unprompted, you might add) and takes a shaky breath. you cautiously seat yourself on the other end of the couch and prepare to listen to whatever bullshit he has conjured up for your viewing pleasure before you decide that it’s best just to cut to the chase. ripping the band-aid off, and all that.

“look, i don’t care that you’re sorry. there’s nothing you can say to make me change my —” 

“it was beomgyu!” he exclaims before you can get another word out.

“... what?” you ask confusedly. where the hell is he going with this?

“the girl, the picture, fucking everything was all his fucking fault. he did it,” he rants. oh. he must think you’re fucking stupid.

“yeonjun, please don’t waste my time,” you sigh. “i think you should leave,” you add, getting up from your seat.

“wait!” he pleads, reaching for your hand and gently pulling you back down. “remember how i always told you that i had a weird feeling about him? like how something always felt… off?” oh well. if he wants to continue putting on a show, then so be it. besides, it’ll be a funny story to tell beomgyu later on.

you nod.

“well, he always looked at me weirdly. like, whenever i’d walk into the room, there was always this… this tension and i never knew why, but i understood it as soon as we made things official. it’s because he likes you.” you’re silent for a moment and yeonjun actually thinks he’s getting through to you before you burst into near-maniacal laughter. his face falls.

“beomgyu? beomgyu likes me?” you say between giggles. beomgyu loves you like a sister. no way in hell does he harbor a shred of romantic love for you. 

“you’re not listening,” he grunts, slightly tugging at his own hair in frustration. “he’s always been weird, and the other night at the bar, he introduced me to that girl you saw me ‘kissing’. they kept giving me drinks until i could barely fucking see straight. then she kept coming onto me, but i said no. i finally told her to kick rocks, but the next thing i knew was that she was kissing me. i know it sounds crazy, but you have to believe me.” you want to dismiss everything he’s saying, but his utter sincerity seems to strike a chord within you. you can’t say you believe him, but he continues before you can properly digest his words.

“think about it. why the hell would i cheat in such a public place where all of our friends hang out? don't you think i would be smarter than that? and even if i wasn't, you know me. you know i would never cheat on you.” he seems desperate now, but it’s still hard to believe that beomgyu orchestrated this entire thing instead of the very real possibility that yeonjun just got drunk and acted recklessly.

“alright, this isn’t funny anymore. you need to stop,” you warn, not liking how much he’s making sense.

“think,” he repeats with conviction.

so you do. you think back to all of the tumultuous relationships you’ve had until now. they've all ended in different ways, yes, but they all had one common denominator: beomgyu. oh, beomgyu saw your boyfriend getting cozy with his ex. you’re having an argument with your boyfriend? beomgyu thinks he’s a piece of shit because of how he treats you, you obviously deserve better! wait, your boyfriend keeps taking too long to text you back? he’s just losing interest! it’s clearly better to break it off now rather than getting too invested when you’re inevitably going to break up, anyway. and all the other greatest hits. your face twists from focused to horrified as the realization sinks into your bones. it's beomgyu. it’s always been beomgyu. 

you look to yeonjun with pure shock in your eyes and he meets your gaze with a look of sympathy. you finally get it. 

“junie, i’m so sorry,” you say, tears springing into your eyes. “i’m so sorry i doubted you.” 

“it’s okay,” he replies with a melancholy smile. “he manipulated you.” 

“does… does that mean we’re back together now?” you ask, voice tinged with hope. his smile falters at your question, and you feel a sense of dread.

“i need some time,” he says after a pause, dropping his hand from yours. “you really hurt me. i understand that beomgyu manipulated you, but it really hurts that you didn't trust me, you know?” 

“i understand,” you quietly reply. you’d be hurt if the tables were turned — it’s only natural. you just hope to god above that you haven’t let beomgyu ruin another good thing for you.

-

beomgyu is confused as to why you’ve been ignoring him for the better part of a week. you don’t respond when he texts or calls, and his intuition is telling him that it has something to do with yeonjun. maybe you’re just shutting down because of the breakup? it was particularly brutal this time around, after all. he’s lucky that yeonjun has such a lascivious sexual history, or else you might not have bought his little charade, even with the proof presented directly in front of you. that’s how much you love(d) yeonjun. the thought causes jealousy to rear its ugly head in his stomach, but whatever. there’s no way you’re going back to him after the way the scandal has made its way through your social life. even if you do want to get back together with him, there's no way your pride will let you. your pride has been a particularly nasty sort of obstacle in beomgyu’s pursuit of you, but it’s absolutely delicious to be able to use it against you like this. serves you fucking right.

still, it’s his job as your dutiful best friend to cheer you up. with this in mind, he picks up your favorite takeout and heads to your place. he smiles when he imagines the way you’ll gratefully embrace him once you realize that he’s here for you. maybe this time you’ll understand that he’s always been the one who’s there for you when someone hurts you. maybe this time will be his big break, finally freeing him from the purgatory he has been in for god knows how long.

he knocks on your door with a hopeful smile on his face. surprisingly, you’re swinging the door open mere seconds later with your eyes similarly lit up with hope.

“yeon— oh. it’s you,” you say, deflating immediately. there’s a certain sense of resentment in your tone that he catches onto, but he chalks it up to disappointment. his face falls. goddamn it. damn it all to hell.

“i brought you some food to cheer you up,” he says while shaking the plastic takeout bag, completely ignoring the slip of another man’s name. 

he invites himself in, slipping off his shoes and sitting down on the couch as he usually does. 

he waits for you to join him, but when he looks up at you, all he sees is you staring at him, arms crossed and face contorted in anger. surely you can’t be that upset that he’s not yeonjun, right? now that he thinks about it, why would you be expecting yeonjun, anyway? hadn’t you effectively cut him off? did you talk to him and take him back after all that (you think) he’s done? that can’t be right. unless… unless you actually let him talk to you. oh god, please tell him that’s not what happened.

“what’s wrong?” he asks, face devoid of anything deeper than curiosity and worry. 

you’re silent for a moment before you carefully choose your next words.

“i talked to yeonjun,” you reply, and his heart sinks to his stomach. “he told me some… interesting things.”

beomgyu hopes you don’t notice how hard he gulps. you do not.

“what did he say?” he asks, face tense but still showing no clear signs of guilt. 

“he told me what happened that night. he told me how you got him drunk and basically forced that girl onto him. he also said that you’re the reason none of my relationships work out,” you declare, opting to stop beating around the bush and just get some answers. you study his face for a crack of some sort, but there is none.

“and what do you think?” he asks quietly.

“i think… i think he might be telling the truth,” is what you say, but you’re sounding increasingly unsure with every word because beomgyu looks more hurt than you’ve ever seen him.

“you believe him over me?” he asks, voice cracking and lips trembling with his brown eyes glossed over in what you can only describe as devastation. god, either beomgyu’s a really good actor, yeonjun’s a really good actor, or you’re just fucking stupid.

“i… i don’t know what to think, beomgyu,” you whisper after a pause. all he does is nod before his next words pierce your heart.

“is that why you’ve been ignoring me?”

jesus christ. you were so sure that yeonjun was telling the truth when he told you about beomgyu, so ignoring him only seemed natural under the circumstances, but he looks every bit like the victim in light of your accusations. his trembling lips and wounded gaze make you want to strangle yourself for ever doubting him. as you feel yourself being consumed with remorse, though, you remember the sincerity and desperation in yeonjun’s words. maybe this was all a huge misunderstanding? maybe they’re both convinced that they’re right? 

“y-yes. i’m sorry. i was just confused. maybe he just misunderstood?” you babble. he likes your hesitancy, but it’s still wearing on his patience. as much as he wants to say he can’t believe that you’d question him because of some guy you dated, he can believe it when it comes to you. you always, always, always hurt him like this, and he’s had just about enough.

“and what if it’s true?” he asks, pathetic facade wiped clean off of his face while something more somber replaces it entirely. your eyes lock with his and you’re stunned silly. 

“what?” is all you can manage to reply with. 

“what if i pushed that girl onto yeonjun? what if i ruined all of your relationships? what would you do?” 

“so it’s true?!” is all you can say, guilt flaring into sheer rage and hurt. 

“so what if it is?” he asks, as if he doesn’t comprehend how twisted this is.

“so… so how could you do that to me?!” 

“i was only doing what’s best for you,” he impatiently replies. “they were only gonna hurt you, can’t you see that? even before i did anything, there were still all those men who cheated on you, lied to you, used you. what’s wrong with wanting to protect you from people like them? i just couldn’t stand to see you living like that!” he argues, clearly believing he’s completely justified in all of this.

sure, you’ve been hurt before even without his intervention, but that doesn’t mean he can just play puppeteer in your love life to “protect” you from anything similar happening ever again. you trusted him and he manipulated you. he acted like a knight in shining armor this entire time while knowingly sabotaging any potentially good thing that could come your way. and he did it all because he wants to protect you? bullshit. 

“you know, i thought that even if everyone other man in the world could hurt me, you never would,” you say shakily, either from sadness or anger. maybe both. “i guess i was wrong.”

“hurt you?! hurt is watching the person you love fuck other people over and over and over again! hurt is watching you laugh me off and never even fucking considering me as an option, goddamn it!” he yells while slamming his hand on your coffee table. 

“so your solution was to fuck up every relationship i have just to have me to yourself?! do you not realize how fucked up that is?!” you yell back, trying to appear unfazed by his increasingly enraged behavior. he seems to falter at this, genuinely at a loss for words at your unforgiving pinpointing of his erratic actions. the desperate, eager-to-please beomgyu you know all too well is finally back and you feel your confidence surge because of it.

“i only did that because —”

“why? because you love me? or think you do?” you mock with a hollow laugh. “you don’t purposely ruin the life of someone you love.” he looks genuinely wounded by your words. 

“but i —”

“i don’t care. get out,” you say mercilessly. you’re absolutely through with listening to his fucked up ideations about love and what his twisted moral compass deems as justified because of it. you’re so preoccupied with preaching on your soapbox, you don’t even realize his attitude has once again shifted from the compliant beomgyu to the one you don’t recognize at all. 

“... no,” he says flatly. 

“did you not fucking hear me? i said get out,” you repeat through clenched teeth. normally, your raised hackles would be enough to scare him off, so you figure he’ll tuck his tail and leave right about now. oh, how wrong you are.

“are you deaf?” he asks with a sneer. “i said no.”

“what do you mean, no?” you ask. somewhere in the depths of your mind, alarm bells begin ringing, but it’s far too late to heed them. plus, you’re still under the impression that he’ll bend to your will. 

“oh, so you’re not deaf. just stupid,” he snorts. your jaw is agape at his audacity. beomgyu has caught an attitude and gotten fresh with you before, sure, but nothing like this. to say you’re dumbstruck would be to put things in the mildest of terms. you can barely get out your next sentence.

“w-what do you mean?” 

“i’m not leaving this apartment,” he says firmly, and before you can even ask him to explain, he’s dragging you away with a painful grip.

“ow! beomgyu, you’re hurting m—” 

“shut up. i told you what real hurt is, but you're not fucking listening. i don't want to hear another word come out of your mouth,” he says in a monotone voice. if the alarm bells were ringing in the depths of your mind before, they’re absolutely blaring at the forefront of your brain right now. 

“what are y-you —”

“i thought i told you to shut up,” he snaps before roughly grabbing your face and planting his lips on yours. the kiss is crude. it’s absolutely vulgar with the way it’s all tongue and teeth and saliva, but after a few seconds of uncertainty, you find yourself melting into it. this is wrong. you two are the best of friends, almost like brother and sister. and more than that, you love yeonjun, right? you’re supposed to be working on getting back together with him, aren’t you? but your reason starts to be sucked away as you feel his hands caress your body, leaving nothing but fire in their wake.

you don’t know how you got here, almost completely naked as you lay on your back while beomgyu continues attacking your lips. it’s blazing hot and you can’t help but feel your underwear becoming wet with every moan that escapes his mouth and consequently reverberates onto your tongue. as if he already knows the intricacies of your internal battle, one of his hands finds its way to your now soaking wet pussy and he uses his index and middle fingers to spread the slickness around. he swirls his fingers around your hole and just barely pushes one of them into the entrance. you gasp at the shallow intrusion and you can feel his notorious shit-eating grin pressed across your lips as he feels how tight you are. you’re ridiculously turned on and he knows it. he pauses his actions only to unzip his pants and yank them down to his knees. your eyes widen at what you can only describe as his huge appendage, all reddened and already leaking. you feel your cunt throbbing with even more need at the sight, but your last shred of reason still makes you hesitate.

“beomgyu, we can't… we're friends, and yeonjun is —”

“can’t you just let me make you feel good? god, you’re making this so difficult, but what the fuck else is new,” he growls. 

he's right. you are making things difficult. there's no way of salvaging your friendship after this, so what's the point in holding back now? you realize that while he may be absolutely unhinged, his feelings for you are real. do you reciprocate them? you don’t know yet, but the thought of him doting on another person the same way he dotes on you makes you feel uneasy. as for yeonjun? well, he deserves better than the cesspool of turbulent emotions that you currently find yourself in. 

“you still sure you don’t want me?” he asks cockily. you, with all of your pride, can only muster up a feeble shake of your head. he knew the answer before you gave it to him, but his condescending gaze shows you that your words have scratched a certain itch of his.

he rubs his hardened length against your folds and it’s all you can do to resist locking your ankles around his waist and pulling him into you, but something stops you. protection. you don’t even have to say it, because he knows you too well for your own good.

“let me fuck you raw,” he says breathily, just barely poking his length into your tight hole. “i know you need it, baby. just let me take care of you.” you’re silent for a moment before pinching out your next words.

“p-pull out?” he won’t because he knows you’ll be begging him for his cum when he’s done with you, and you already know he won’t, even when he nods and promises he will. you don't know why you even asked. 

the ache you feel to have him buried inside you is quickly replaced by the ache you feel once he begins to stretch you out. it’s a stinging, burning sort of pain, but that’s nothing in comparison to the pure pleasure you feel as his flared tip drags along your walls. he begins with thrusting shallowly, fucking you open like you’re a virgin, and you’re so tight while he’s so big, you might as well be. 

painfully slowly, he pushes each and every inch of himself into your gummy hole. he reaches places you didn’t even know existed and stretches you open so good all you have the brainpower to call the sensation is fullness. overwhelming fullness. when he finally sheathes himself in you completely, a strangled cry leaves both of your throats as you feel him throbbing inside of you and he, in turn, feels you pulsating around him. 

after you adjust, you expect him to start drilling into you with reckless abandon, but he does nothing of the sort. just watches you with a strange look on his face. 

“b-beomie? what are you doing?” you ask pathetically, head raising up from its place on the pillows to meet his wanton gaze.

“beg me for it.”

“beg for w—” your question is interrupted by a sharp smack on your sensitive pussy. 

“beg me for it. beg me to fuck you like a whore. i won’t tell you again,” he says menacingly. your bleary eyes are so confused, so stupid, and so, so cute, but he’s determined to use the last of his self-control to get you to feel even a fraction of the desperation he’s felt for years. well, even if you don’t, he’ll spend the whole night fucking you dumb until you do. but you’re so hungry for his dick, you don’t even realize that he’s bluffing.

finally, you understand what he’s asking of you, and you waste no time to comply. 

“n-need your cock, beomie. need you to make me f-feel good,” you say, trying to retain even a semblance of your dignity. this brings a mean smirk to his face, but he’s not done with you, yet.

“surely you can do better than that?” he taunts, rocking his hips ever so slightly so you can feel every inch of his length and girth teasingly hitting your cervix, but providing no relief. fuck your dignity. you need him.

“please! please, i need you! need your cock to fill me up!” you whine.

“mhmm, and?”

“need you to fuck me! need you to fill me up with your cum!” well, there goes your resolve to have him pull out. this seems to satisfy his sadistic desires.

“oh, my love. all you had to do was ask,” he says with a grin. and that’s when he starts. 

his hips meet yours in the most punishing way, and that’s what this is: a punishment for the way you’ve treated him all these years. you can feel it in the way that his fingernails dig into your skin and in the way that he mercilessly presses down on your tummy until all you can feel is pressure building up to something unknown.

“who else can fuck you like this? who else can split you open like this?” he asks as lewd squelches reverberate throughout the room. 

“n-nobody! only you, beomie!” you cry.

“that’s my good girl, such a good girl. baby just needs me to use her like a fucktoy, right?” and all you can do is whine and clench in carnal need as the poor springs of your bed squeak with every unforgiving thrust.

“oh, you like that, don’t you?” he snickers. “you like being my little whore. you’re just a toy for me, alright? free to use whenever i feel like it.” you nod in agreement and he lets out a chuckle as he pounds into you at an unimaginable speed, balls slapping your ass with every fiery thrust. each time he pumps into you, your pussy’s clamping down on him and sucking him in like that’s where he’s meant to be. and maybe it is. 

“god, i’m close,” he groans after pumping into you for what feels like hours, and you whimper like a bitch in heat. “honey, don’t worry,” he tuts. “i’ll fuck you every day, i’ll fill you with my cum so you can’t leave. not that you’ll want to after this. you’re made for me, made to be my cumdump whenever i want.” 

“y-yes!” you shriek, somehow liking the idea of being full of his cum forever and ever. 

“that’s my girl. baby just wants me to fuck her good. that’s all you needed, right? that’s why you’ve been such a brat. you just needed me to show you what it’s like to be fucked right,” he says, rolling your clit for good measure, which is enough to make you reach your high as it comes crashing down around you. beomgyu wasn’t lying when he said he was close, so when he feels you clenching around his big cock as if you’re milking him for all that he’s worth, you feel it twitching before hot bursts of cum paint your inner walls until you’re leaking white and seeing stars. he continues with slow, lazy pumps until he softens. you stay like that for an indeterminable amount of time, breathing raggedly while your bodies are overcome with thrums of delight. 

when he finally pulls out and lays down beside you, bodies slick with sheens of sweat, he pushes your hair back behind your ear and plants a kiss on your temple. shakily, he takes his hand and rubs it along your distended tummy, full of his cum. he lovingly strokes it with an awed smile on his face.

“such a good girl for me,” he repeats. “i can’t wait until you’re pregnant. you’ll have as many babies as i can give you, right?” and all you can do is nod deliriously. he smiles in satisfaction as you eagerly agree to his every nasty, perverted thought. “god, i love you so much. and you love me too, right? say it. say you love me.”

“i love you.” and you realize that you do.  this man is deranged, but he’s yours, and for better or for worse, you're his. especially now that you might very well be carrying his children. and even if you aren’t, you know he’ll make good on his promises to keep fucking you until you are. should you be glad that he effectively ruined every potential relationship for you? you were unsure before, but you realize that nobody has or ever will love you as much as he does, even if he has a demented way of showing it. well, it is what it is. there’s no way out after this.

notes pt. 2: i hope this goes over better after the editing!

taglist: @my313 @superbbananananana @lonelybutterflytae @cherrycolaberry @midwinterblizzard @everythingvirgoes @sooberryworld @20-cms @inkigayocamman @hyueika @boba-beom @vicurious28 @blossommi @lickingan0rchid @katsukis1wife @binniebakery @notevenheretbh1

join one of my taglists here!

[spideysbruh]

short n sweet

a/n- just pretend okay

~

liked by tchalamet, melissabarrera and 4,615,777 others

y/n please please please tonight!!

view all 87,716 comments

tryinyn DONT TELL ME HES IN THE MUSIC VIDEO OMFGGGGGG

florencepugh spicy!!

tchalamet best set ever all because of you

snoozeyn when timothee is nominated for an oscar for this >>>

timsgf it's a music video he can't get nominated. and it's a shitty one at that, he was the best part

snoozeyn aren't you like 60?

wallowsyn WAIT WAIT WAIT

@chalametupdates just tweeted- Timothée and Y/n behind the scenes of Y/ns new music video!

@ynscurtains replied- BEST MV EVERRR

@timmysgf replied- I wonder how he feels about his girlfriend sexualizing herself for streams

@horroryn replied- HE'S NOT GONNA DATE YOU STFU

liked by tchalamet, sabrinacarpenter and 6,177,388 others

y/n please please please!!! enjoy the video, bitches. the actor in this one is super sexy

view all 98,717 others

rachelzegler that actor is really good!

y/n ik I'm so glad he auditioned

tchalamet superrrrrr sexy

y/n wow full of yourself much?

tchalamet I was talking about you 😔

pleaseyn timmy as a crazy ass criminal is just too awesome

goodgracesyn "men suck" and whole time she's dating timmy LMAOO she's so real

liked by tchalamet, rachelzegler and 3,387,827 others

y/n short 'n' sweet is all yours tonight

view all 91,277 comments

tchalamet and you're all mine every night

mystyn I CLAIM COINCIDENCE ALREADY

ynsheadphones im so curious ab what the love songs ab timmy sound like

rachelzegler my favorite album ever

liked by y/n

timyn his comment 💀💀 so down bad

y/n just posted a story!

caption- damn maybe he should've released an album

liked by y/n, kidcudi and 6,716,773 others

tchalamet this beautiful girls album released today. bed chem is objectively my favorite, also juno.

view all 101,177 comments

supergraphicyn juno omg he's a freak

shortyn LISTEN TO GOOD GRACES AND LEARNNNNNN

y/n who's the cute guy in the white jacket- oh wait he's sitting next to me rn nvm LOL

tchalamet liked

daylightyn bed chem.. lucky girl

tchalamet just posted a story!

caption- date night 😍😍

liked by haileybieber, tchalamet, madisonbeer and 5,717,888 others

y/n so.. what's everyone's favorite ?

view all 103,287 comments

exesyn WHO MADE YOU WRITE DUMB AND POETIC

ynsdune BRO ITS SHAWN I SWEAR

tchalamet how does it feel to be this generations Shakespeare?

y/n liked

sabrinacarpenter I wish I made this wtf

y/n you've got it in you!!!

@companyyn just tweeted- WHOS THE CUTE BOY IN THE WHITE JACKET BITCH WHICH ONE

@beetleyn replied- also what fucking accent is she talking ab

@yn replied- idfk I needed a rhyme 🤷🏽‍♀️

@byeyn replied- HELLO!?!??! HEY GIRL

@infiniteyn replied- she's so fucking funny help

@laurieslaurence replied- he speaks french too so maybe that's what !!

@celebnews just tweeted- weeks after her new album released, Y/n L/n is seen happily with her boyfriend Timothée Chalamet. He was taking several pictures of her on a disposable camera. They stopped to say hi to fans and were apparently very kind and interactive.

@beliebyn replied- the way you started that scared the SHIT out of me omg never do that again celebnews

@comearoundyn replied- likely thing for them to do

@lovelyyn replied to @comearoundyn- what does your @ mean 😭😭😭😭

@modernyn replied- and we'll probably never see those pictures he took 💔💔

@mariasyn replied- ON TOP OF THE CHARTS AND LIVING HER BEST LIFE

liked by tchalamet, haileesteinfeld and 7,726,277 others

y/n to celebrate one month and all the love yall have given me, i wanted to release two other songs that i wrote after i finished the album. hope you enjoy!

view all 121,188 comments

povyn BUSY WOMAN IS POP PERFECTION

paulsoneandonly oh goddd here we go, more shitty music 🙄

sweetyn I'm still not over coincidence girl WHO would do that to you

timsgf slim pickings is a crazy song to write when your bf is timothée

shortnyn can you shut the fuck up and get out of her comments for ONCE

liked by tchalamet

ynslipgloss I DIDNT WANT YOUR BITCH ASS ANYWAY🗣🗣 🎶

liked by y/n, florencepugh and 5,727,827 others

tchalamet my girl is on top of the world

comments on this post have been limited

y/n not us being goofy 🤣🤣

florencepugh my bestest friends !!

liked by rachelzegler, tchalamet and 4,817,132 others

y/n i am so grateful i could cry 💕💕✨️

view all 87,727 comments

rachelzegler you deserve it all and more my lovely

tchalamet forever proud of you pretty girl

bearyn remember when she was excited over her getting 100k views on her video 🥺😭😭 and now she's getting MILLIONS

ynsucks all thanks to her boyfriend

fuxkyn is she serious w this shit, she uses timmy for likes???

amyyn he posts her all the time too, so now what?

liked by tchalamet and 7,276,277 others

y/n vmas 😳😳😳

comments on this post have been limited

tchalamet i love you w so much of my heart that none is left to protest

y/n are you shakespeare

tchalamet nah i just made it up right now

liked by tchalamet, yourfriend and 7,727,266 others

y/n if you think they're looking at you... they're looking at me. happy anniversary my love 🥰💕💕

view all 120,187 comments

rachelzegler IM DEADDDDD

tchalamet happy anniversary my angel girl

timmysgf rude asl

laurieslaurence istg its the same person behind these accounts

timsgf what no

ynswaterbottle LMAOOOOOOOOO

lightupyn her old lyrics 🥺🥺😭😭

liked by y/n, zendaya and 8,277,265 others

tchalamet i ❤️ my talented girlfriend

view all 142,177 comments

horroryn HE SAID FUCK ALL YOU HATERSSSS AHHH YALL MAD

y/n why not uponeth me?

tchalamet liked

bedchemyn BYEEEE

tomholland2013 we need a double date soon!

modernyn MY PARENTSS

y/n I love you my darling boy

*

[justwhisperingfantasies]

Girl At The Rock Show Part 6 -smut warning 18+

Characters: Jensen Ackles (xreader). Mac(o.c), Jared Padalecki.

Warnings: SMUT, Oral fem receiving, Oral Male receiving, Fingering, P.I.V. Unprotected sex (wrap it y'all), Language Drinking, Fluff, lmk if I forgot any

Summary: Getting dragged to that live show might have been the best thing that ever happened to you. Now you are falling. Falling fast.

Word count: 7,193 words (sorry couldn't stop)

A/N: So there's a lot bit of smut. I'm still new at it. Be nice Thank you all for the kind words and the inspiration to keep writing.🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 Hope y'all enjoy it. 💗

Please don't copy my work and post it elsewhere.

Like, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated 💗

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

{} Reader’s P.O.V {}

“I’m not an expert, but you sound ready for this interview to me, sweetheart.” He looked at you with a smile as he slowed and pulled up to the gate. He leaned out to put the code in.

“I think I am. Just hopefully they like me.”

“And who wouldn’t,” he winked at you, making you smile.

You looked forward and your jaw dropped. “Holy shit Ackles, Its huge.” He smirked. “Perv.” You teased him, making him laugh. “So do you have a crazy rich person collection?”

“Is that really a thing?” He asked driving through the gate.

“I guess so.” You shrugged your shoulders. “Like art, watches, Oh Nicholas Cage has a real dinosaur skull in his backyard.”

“That would be kinda cool.”

“Freaking celebrities,” you said smiling at him. and he laughed as he lifted his head.

He whipped around the cul-de-sac, so the house was on your side. Damn this house was nice. You got out and noticed the garage. “Um 7 doors?”

“Alright. So maybe I have one crazy collection. There are 2 empty spots though, so not as bad.”

“Can I see them?”  you bit your lip.

“Absolutely.” He held his hand out, you walked over to him and laced your fingers in his. You walked over to the door. In the first spot was Baby. “you’ve met Baby.” He said as you walked past her. “Second spot is usually where the truck goes.” He said leading you through the empty space

“A Porche 911 GT3 RS?!!” You quicken your steps and hesitate to touch it. “You have a Porche 911 GT3 RS and you picked me up in a ’67 Impala?”

He chuckled. “Shhh You’ll hurt her feelings.” He mocked you

“So does the almost girlfriend get to driver her?”

He grimaced as he inhaled sharply. “I don’t know about that one.”

 Your eyes went wide “But I let you drive my Beau.”

“You got to drive Baby.”

“Well, I didn’t know I had options.” You said frantically with wild eyes. He laughed “Not fair.” You said and then pouted.

“I’ll think about it.” he teased.

You sighed. “I guess that’s better than a no.” He smiled “Bye Porche. Don’t worry I’ll drive you one day.” He chuckled. The next car was a 1968 Chevrolet Camaro. “Hey, look its Beau’s dad.”

“Quite the car enthusiast huh?” he asked.

“Got it from my pops. That man loved cars.”

He smiled “Mine too!”

The last car was a 1966 Ford Shelby Mustang GT350. “Oh, she’s pretty.”

“She was my first after baby.”

“Your crazy rich person collection is very nice.”  He grinned. “And have I told you that you look very handsome today Mr. Ackles.”

“Still thinkin about it.”

“Damnit.” You said making him laughed.

As you walked to the house you pointed at a flat part of his lawn. “Your dinosaur skull would look great right there.”

He smiled. “Or I could buy another Porsche.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “What? Too soon?”

“Jerk.” You raised your eyebrows and waited.

“Are you really trying to get me to call you a bitch, so you can guilt trip your way into the Porsche”

You gasped. “I would never!” you smirked. He chuckled and shook his head.

 The front porch was big with a nice seating area. He pulled his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door. He pushed the door open and gestured for you to go. You walked in a nice sized area. Stairs going up on the left. To the right were couches on either side of the coffee table with pops of blue and grey from the throw pillows.  He took his suit jacket off and hung it on the back of the couch that was closet. “So, this is the seating area I guess you’d call it.” He started toward the doorway on the other side of the room. “You want a beer?” he turned around to you kicking off your boots and sliding them out of the way.  “Sweetheart you don’t hav.”

You put your hand up “I don’t need the ghost of my mother coming to yell at me for wearing shoes in your house.” you said with a smile. He chuckled. “But I will take that beer.”  You followed him into a gorgeous kitchen. A big bar and a nice island. All shiny stainless-steel appliances. You hopped on one of the barstools. You saw a picture of him and his family on the fridge. “Aw you guys are cute.”

He smiled as he closed the fridge. “That’s my daddy, Alan. That’s my mama, Donna. My brother, Joshua. My sister, Mackenzie. And me. That was last Christmas.”

“You guys close?”

“Super. They all still live in Texas, so we get together as much as we can.”

“Adorable.”

He smiled as he cracked open the can he got out of the fridge.  “Here.” He slid it to you. “Try that.”

You narrowed your eyes to him as you lifted the beer. You looked down at the can. “Family business beer company. Cosmic cowboy.” You lifted your brows and looked at him.

“Just try it.” You took a drink. It was pretty damn good. You could taste a layer of pine with notes of pineapple and grapefruit. You don’t know how mixed together perfectly, but it did “Well?”

“Eh.” He gave you an unamused look. “Just kidding Ackles. It’s pretty good.” He narrowed his eyes “I mean oh my god. This is the best beer I’ve ever tasted in my life.” You said with thick sarcasm

He laughed. “I know whoever thought up that recipe is a freaking genius, right?!”

You chuckled. “I don’t know if I’d go that far, but it’s a damn good beer.”

He shook his head with a smile and opened another can. You spun around to another seating area although this one was much bigger. You hopped off the barstool and took a couple steps. There was a huge screen hanging on the wall in front of a colossal sectional with a matching ottoman. you turned back to him. “Really a projector?” he leaned against the bar.

“That thing is badass. I just had it put in a bout a month ago. I can not wait to watch the cowboys on it. “

“Yea. Hopefully they will do better this year than last year.” He raised an eyebrow. “You gotta admit they kind of sucked last year.” 

His face went hard. “Please tell me your joking.”

“Oh, is the cowgirls a soft spot?” you teased.

He hid a smile and narrowed his eyes at you. He stepped towards you. You started to take a step back, but he lunged at you. With a small yelp he tossed you over his shoulder “Really?! This hardly seems necessary Jensen.” He started humming as he walked into the tv area, ignoring your whines. “Seriously? I’m in a freaking dress here. This is not appropriate.” He started singing  still ignoring you.” You put your elbows in his back and lifted your head. “Can you at least tell me if my ass is hanging out?” he continued singing.  You took a deep breath and exhaled through your lips letting them vibrate. You felt him chuckle. “Those slack looks good on you Mr. Ackles.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere.”  He said stopping in front of the sectional. “Are you done running your mouth?” he said in a playful tone.

“I can’t make any promises.”

“Ok, we can finish the tour like this.” He started spinning in circles.  “So, this is the living room.”

“Ok. Stop. You win. The cowboys rule.”

 He laughed and bent over sitting you on the sofa. You caught his face with your hands before he could stand back up. A fire woke in your core when his needy lips captured yours and your hands slid up into his hair. He let out a growl as you leaned onto the couch pulling him with you, he put his hands on the back of the couch to catch his weight. Your tongue danced in anticipation as you parted your lips and waited. The fire blazed brightly at the taste of his skillful tongue. You imagined how his tongue would feel in other places and your core pulsed.

You sat up, with your mouth still on his. You put your hand on his chest and gently pushed him back as you stood up. He looked at you with questioning eyes. You smirked and gently shoved him down on the couch. He looked up at you with those shiny emeralds, You smiled as you raised your right knee and placed it on the couch beside him resting your hand on the back of the couch and slowly started to stretch the other over him. He let out another growl and grabbed your hips and pulled you down in top of him. A moan escaped your lips as his clothed shafted brushed against your thin panties. His finger tangled in your hair and pulled your mouth back down to his. His tongue instantly back on yours. Again you imagine how good his tongue would feel between your legs, your hips start to rock. He moaned and you could feel his hardness twitch through the clothes.

You gripped his hair with your fingers and pulled his head back exposing his neck. You trailed kisses up and down his neck, His breath quickened as you started to rock faster. Pants and moans filled the large room.

“Mmmm Baby…” he moaned. “You sure about this?”

You brought your lips up to his ear. You felt him twitch again as you whispered yes and took his earlobe in your lips. Lightly tugging on it with your teeth.

He let out a loud growl and lifted you as he stood, your legs wrapped around his waist. He kissed you and then bounced you moving his hands to your ass, then he walked through the kitchen and into the sitting area. You kissed up his neck as you lifted yourself brushing against his hardness. He groaned and suddenly your back was against the wall. His mouth devouring yours. He nuzzled his nose against yours then skimmed it across your cheek and his lips find your earlobe as he starts to roll his hips “Jensen.” you whimpered, you core pulsating with desire. You can feel the smile against your ear. He tightens his grip on your ass and spins as he starts up the stairs. You lifted to kiss his neck again.

“Sweetheart you do it again we ain’t making it to the bedroom.” He said making you giggle.

He nudged the door open with his foot and laid you down on the bed. He stepped back and flipped on the light on. A smile spread across his face as he looked you up and down, you couldn’t help but smile back. Your arms wrapped around him as he crawled on top of you, he let out a moan as he dipped his hips. Putting his lips back on yours he slid his hand up your thigh leaving a trail of goosebumps. The fire flowed through your veins when he reached your clit. You let out a moan of his name as he started circling it through your panties. His fingers dipped down, as he pushed your panties to the side. He let out a groan once he felt how wet you were for him. The fire rushes through your veins again as he slides his finger into your entrance. He moaned as you bucked your hips making his finger go deeper.  He trailed kisses down your neck as he slid a second finger into you. He started pumping his fingers and pulled your already low dress down exposing your breast. You let out a moan as he flicked your nipple with his tongue. You fill the room with moans and heavy pants. As he takes your nipple into his mouth swirling his tongue around it and speeds up the pumping of his fingers.

“Jen, Jensen.” you moan loud as you fell the knot in your stomach tighten.

“You gonna come on my fingers (y/n)?” he pumps his fingers harder and starts circling your clit with his thumb. “Mmm come for me.” he curled his fingers and found you g-spot and the knot bursts making you moan out his name again, pure bliss crashing over your body. You quivered as he slowed his fingers, helping you ride out your high. He kissed your lips as he slid his fingers out, He sat up and licked your juices off them. “mmmm”

He hooked his fingers under your panties, and you lifted giving him permission. He stood up as he slides them off your feet. Gazing in your eyes his finger works the buttons on his shirt. You lick your lips leaving the bottom one in your teeth, God he was so sexy. He finished the last button, and the shirt dangled open giving you a peek at his chiseled chest and ab lines. You inhaled deeply as you drank the view in. Your eyebrow raised as he unbuckled his belt with one hand and slid it off in one quick motion throwing it across the room. He hovered over your dripping core, inhaling your sweet scent. He looked up at you with a devilish smile and wrapped his arms around your thighs.  Spreading them as he pulled your ass to the edge of the bed. He lifted your knees leaving kisses down your inner thigh and he knelt on his knees. Your walls clenched when you felt his hot breath on your dripping lips. A loud moan pulled from your lungs as he dives in lapping up your sweet juices.

“Jensen” you cry out as he swirls his togue around your clit. He moaned at the sound of his name and kept going keeping the same pace. Your fingers twisted in his hair when he put his fingers back inside you and you praised him with another moan of his name. The knot in your stomach tightened as he curled his fingers and found that sweet spot once more. You tugged at his hair as he pumps his finger faster. You start to roll your hips, and he flattened his tongue against your swollen clit letting you set the pace you want. “Babe, I’m gonna.” You cry out as you fell the knot in your stomach about to burst again.

He shoved his fingers deeper. “Mmmm come on baby” Your face scrunched as you reached your climax. Your soaked pussy clenching around his fingers. Heavy pants filled the room as he helped you ride out the high for the second time. He crawled back on top of you, a huge grin on his and his beard glistening from your cum. He wiped his mouth on his shirt and then kissed you. He lifted off you and unbuckled the belt around your waist. you sat up and lifted your arms, he slid the dress over your head and tossed it. You ran your hands up his chest and caught his shirt and continued sliding until his shoulders were bare. He jiggled his arms, and it dropped to the floor. He stood up and pulled down his slack and boxers unleashing he thick throbbing cock. He stroked his shaft as he looked at your naked body. He let out a moan as your hand slid down to your clit and you started pleasuring yourself.  

He smirked and crawled back on top of you. He kissed your lips and wrapped his arms under you. Lifting you again he walked on his knees until your head was at the pillows.

“(y/n) you 100% sure?”

You reached down and took his cock into your fingertips. He let out a moan as you slid his tip up and down your slick. You moaned together as you put the tip in your entrance and bucked your hips, making him slide into you. “Fuck.” Jensen whispered as he dipped his hip and buried himself further into you. He smiled and then kissed you as he waited for you to adjust to his size. You bucked your hips letting him know you were ready. He brought his hips back, making you moan his name again as he pushed back in. He answered you with a groan. He rested his forehead against you as he quickened his pace. You raked your nails across his back, and he lifted onto his elbows making his cock go deeper inside of you. Your walls pulsed at his husky moan of your name. Heavy pants coming from both of you as he pumped into your harder. You moaned his name as you felt the knot in your stomach tightening. You breathe hitched as you neared your climax. “Baby don’t stop.” Your walls tightened around him. “Right there.”

“Come on (y/n). I wanna feel you come again.” The knot bursts once more and the bliss crashes over you again. He moaned loudly at the feeling of your walls clenching him.  Jensen buried his face in the nook of your neck as he let out a loud groan and pulled out. You bit you lip as you felt his warm cum spread on your stomach. He raised his head after he caught his breath and kissed your cheek then your lips. You smiled as he did his cute nose nuzzle. He kissed your lips again. He tried to get up, but you pulled him back down to kiss him. He kissed you and tried to get back up, but you didn’t release your hold. He chuckled. “Sweetheart, I gotta get you cleaned up.” 

“One more.” He chuckled and kissed you one more time. You let him up. You laid as still as you could and sucked your belly. Trying to keep it from running onto the bed. You heard the water turn on and then off. He can back in with warm wet wash cloth in one hand and a towel in the other. You jumped at the jolt from your warm sensation on your sensitive clit.

“Sorry.” He said with a grimace.

“It’s ok.” You watched with admiration and a smile as he made sure he got all the sticky substances off your skin. After he was done, he threw the linens toward the bathroom and walked over to his dresser. He got out a white shirt “Do you want boxers, gym shorts, or sweatpants?”

“Boxers are fine.” He took a pair out and handed the clothes to you. “Thank you.” sitting up.

He kissed your lips. “(y/n) you don’t have to thank me for taking care of you.”

“Well, I did, and I will. Get used to it Ackles.” He chuckled. He kissed you again and then walked back over to the dresser. He slid on a pair of boxers and started gathering up the clothes on the floor while you got dressed.

He came back in and laid down on his back beside you. raising his arm and putting it under his head. “I think next time we should leave your boots on.” You laughed and laid on your back beside him. He had his eyes closed. He brought his arm down around you and pulled you closer to him. You laid your head on his chest with already heavy eyelids. He kissed the top of your head. “So, I thought it over.”

“About the Porche?”

He chuckled. “Mmhm.”

“Good or bad?”

“Maybe both?”

“How? It’s either a yes which is good and the right choice. Or its no and I will cry.”

He chuckled again. “Well, there’s a condition...” you noticed his heartbeat start to race.

“Yes. Whatever it is yes.”

“Ya wanna hear what you’re signing up for first?”

“Sure.”

“I want that almost word to go away….”

“What almost.” Your heart jumped in your throat when you realized what he was saying. “You don’t think it’s too soon?”

“Do you think it’s too soon?”

“I think other people will.”

“Fuck ‘em.” You chuckled. “I knew as soon as I saw you at the bar.”

“Oh, whatever Ackles.”

“I’m serious.” He brought his hand up and laced his fingers through yours. “I know what I want, if you no ther.”

“When did I say that?”

“I’m just sayin’ darlin’.”

You raised your head and looked at him. He opened his eyes. “You sure you want plain ol’ boring me?”

“Baby, you are far from plain and boring.”

You smiled. “Ok.”

“Ok?” the corners of his mouth turned up.

“Yes Jensen.”  A smile spread across his face exposing almost all his teeth. He grabbed you and pulled your face up to him. He kissed you passionately and then his smile returned.

You put your head back on his chest and he started humming. You took a deep breath and let it out. He started to run his fingers through your hair, and you could feel yourself dozing.

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{} Jensen’s P.O.V {}

He woke up before his alarm went off. She was still asleep in his arms. His heart filled with joy as he replayed last night in his head.

“What time is it Ackles?” she whispered

“How’d you know I was awake?”

“I can feel your eyes on me.”

He chuckled and grabbed his phone.  “It’s 4:30”

“And how far away from my house am I?”

“About half an hour.” She sighed.

“30 more minutes.” She pleaded as she nuzzled in his chest. He smiled and rolled on his side wrapping his arm around her tightly. He felt her drift back to sleep. Alright Jensen time to be a good boyfriend. He smiled at the thought.

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{} Reader’s P.O.V {}

You woke up in a cold empty bed. Really? You thought disappointed, but then you smelled it. The cold air gave you goosebumps as you got out of his bed. You dipped into the closet then headed down the stairs.

“Good morning Mr. Ackles.” You said walking into the kitchen.

“Dang it. I was trying to surprise you. It’s not even 5 yet.” he said as he flipped the bacon. You walked over and kissed him on the cheek. And turned toward the coffee maker. “Hey one more.” He stuck his cheek out in your direction. He turned his head, so you were kissing his lips. “Good morning.” He said with a smile. “That’s a really nice hoodie you got there.”

“Get used to it Ackles, girlfriend gets access to any and all hoodies.” You said grabbing one of the mugs he had out and pouring coffee.

He chuckled. “Oh really? Sugar’s there he pointed and creams in the fridge.”

“Hey, I don’t make the rules.” You said, opening the fridge and grabbing the creamer.  He took the rest of the bacon out of the pan, putting it on a rack with a try underneath so the grease could drip off. You stepped in front of him to grab a piece and his arms wrapped around you. You ate a couple more pieces of bacon and feed him bites here and there. “You comin’ with me to get your truck?”

“Yea Mac probably wants it out of the driveway.”

“Are you kidding? She probably already posted pictures with it.” he chuckled. He leaned back on the bar. “You full babes?” you asked.

“Yea. I was snacking with making it.”

You turned around and walked over to him. wrapping your arms around his neck, his went around your waist. “Thank you for breakfast,” you pulled his face to yours and nuzzled his nose.

“Any time sweetheart.” He said with a smile

You pulled up your gate and leaned out to punch in the code. “You alright over there?” you said as he adjusted his sweats.

“You driving a stick is pretty hot, not gonna lie.” You giggled and pulled through the gate.

You pulled up in the driveway and pulled the e-break. You sighed and got out. You waited for him in front of your car. “You know she’s gonna have a million questions, right?”

“Bring ‘em on” he said with a smile. “Are you gonna tell her about your new boyfriend.”

“Ha old news. Her and Jared swore up and down yesterday you were already my boyfriend.” He wrapped his arms around your shoulders as you walked to the front door.

“Well good morning.” Mac yelled from the kitchen.

“Morning.” You said walking into the kitchen. Mac was standing at the counter.

“Oh. My. God.” She said “getting a look at your outfit. “I want every dirty little detail. I bet he is freaking.” You smiled and your cheeks got warm. “Like how huge are talking? Oh, I bet he gives a mean dic.

“Mornin’ Mac.” Jensen said as he walked through the doorway

“Hey Jensen.” she said embarrassed. He chuckled.

“How many pictures did you take with the truck?” you asked her as she handed you a cup of coffee.

“None.” She stuck her tongue out at you. “Coffee Jensen?”

“Sure, just black is fine.”

“So how was dinner?” she asked, handing him his coffee.

“It was amazing.

“And after dinner?’

“Even more so.”

She looked over at the clock. “Shit I gotta go. Good luck today! Even though you don’t need it.” She blew you a kiss, “Jensen always nice to see you.” she grabbed her purse. Tonight. It starts! Love you,”

“Bye Mac.” He said.

“Bye love you.” you told her.

Jensen turned to you. “So. What starts tonight?”

You raised your brows. “Take a guess.”

His eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Yep. I gotta get in the shower.”

“Finally!!” he yelled making you laugh.

You wrapped a towel around you as you stepped out of the shower. You walked through the doorway to Jensen laying on your bed. You smiled.

“Ya know what I don’t get.”

“What’s that doll face?”

“Why do they put up with this bitch? If nobody in the office likes her why not kick her to the curb?”

“Because it a reality TV show. Gotta have some drama.”

“And all these girls do is run behind each other’s back sayin she said this and she said that.” He looked over to you smirking at him “what?”

“You are totally into this show.”

“I am not.”

“Ok Ackles. Whatever you say.” Said with a chuckle as you grabbed panties and a bra out of your dresser.

He licked his lips eyeing you. “so you gonna drop that towel or…”

“Are you gonna turn your head?”

“Nope. Get used to it sweetheart. Boyfriend gets access to any and all naked shots.” You narrowed your eyes at him “hey I don’t make the rules.” He smirked raising an eyebrow.

His phone started to ring. He put his hand over the back camera and answered it. “Hey buddy what’s up? How’s Odette?”

She’s asleep in the back seat. I just dropped the boys off at school.”

“Really Jensen?!” You gestured at your nakedness.

“Yea like I’d really show him. I love him, but not that much.” Jensen chuckled. “Is she feeling any better?”

“Not really. She keeps saying he ear hurts. He fever did break last night. You want me to let you go?” He noticed Jensen not paying attention.

“I’m listening to you. Her ear hurts and he fever broke last night.” He didn’t look away from you as you out your bra and panties on.

“What are you watching?”

“(y/n) is getting ready for her interview.” You stepped into your skirt and found a nice top in your closet. You ran into Mac’s room to grab the shoes she said you could borrow.

“Oh, so we are changing in front of each other now?”

Jensen looked at the phone and gave Jared a shy smile. Jared raised his eyebrows. “What time is her interview?”

“8:30.”

You looked at your watch as you walked back into your room. It was 7:35 “ I have to leave in 10 mins.”

“It only takes 20 minutes to get there.”

“I want to be early.”

“25 minutes earlier?”

“There could be traffic or a wreck or I could get lost. There are many things that could go wrong and knowing my luck will go wrong. Better to be prepared Ackles.” Your walked back into your bathroom twisting you hair into a classy bun .

“Yea Ackles. Jeez.” Jared chimed in “Hey My mama said she would watch Odette for a while if you wanna get a coffee before you leave.”

“Always down for coffee with Padalecki.” Text me when you get back in town and we’ll meet up.”

“Sounds good.  Good luck (y/n)!!

“Thanks Jared.” You yelled from the bathroom.

“Love you. Jay.”

“Love you more.” He hung up

“You two are adorable.”

“Shush.” He teased.

You took a deep breath and headed for the door. Jensen followed

Stopping at the driveway you turned to him with your lips out. He chuckled and kissed you.

“Good luck.” Another peck. “Not that.” Another. “You need it.” And another. “Call me after?” you nodded and he kissed putting his hand on your cheek this time.

“Bye Mr. Ackles.” You said with a smile as both of you walked to your driver’s doors.

He chuckled again “Bye baby.”

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{} Jensen’s P.O.V {}

Jensen was rinsing the shampoo out of his hair when he heard his phone ring he grabbed it off the sink  “Hey Padalecki.”

“What’s up man?” Jared asked.

“Nothin’ finishing my shower.”

“Oh, do you have company in that shower?”

“Funny. You know she’s at her interview.”

Jared laughed. “Would it be easier for me to come there?”

“Well depends. Where you at?”

“Coming back in on 275.”

“Yeah, just come here and we can take one car.”

“Alright I’ll be there in a minute.”

“K.” Jensen replied and Jared ended the call.

“Yo.” Jensen heard Jared yell.

“Bedroom.” Jensen yelled back,

“Ackles!”

“What’s up man?”

“I’m more interested in what’s up with you.”

Jensen chuckled. “So, we made it official.”

“Oh yeah?” Jensen nodded with a grin. “Not surprising.” Jared walked over to the dresser and sat on top of it. Jensen grinned. “Was it before or after?” he asked. Jensen furrowed his brow. “Jensen, I have known you for a very long time. You think I don’t know what’s behind that grin? Why do you think I’m sitting here?”

“Shut up.” Jensen said with pink cheeks.

Jare smiled .  “So, she didn’t think it was too soon?”

“She mentioned it, but she said she didn’t think so. She was worried other people would think so.”

“Fuck ‘em.”

“That’s exactly what I said.”

Jared bounced up and down. “I’m so excited and happy for you dude.”

“Please don’t break my dresser. You don’t need to replace anything else in this house.”

“I haven’t broken that much of your stuff.” As he hopped down.

Jensen raised his eyebrows. “You wanna go over the list?” he asked slipping on his boots.

“No.  I wanna hear more about your girlfriend.” Jared teased as they walked out of the room. Jensen rolled his eyes “In all seriousness though I am really happy for you.  She seems like a good catch. “

“Thanks man. I think so.”  He said walking grabbing the laundry bag and walking out the door.

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“Alright J.P What do you need?” Jared pulled out his phone and opened his notes. “Oh, you have a list?”

“Yeah, Gen makes me type one out now.”

“Yeah, I would too if I was her.” Jensen’s phone started to ring. His face lit up. He hit the green icon. “Hey beautiful, how’d it go?” He gestured for Jared to take the cart.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Are you really trying to pull a Joey Tribbiani on me right now?”

“Damnit.” He could hear her sigh, and he chuckled. “It was amazing. They offered me the job on the spot. I start the day after tomorrow.”

“That’s my girl. See you had nothing to worry about.”

“Whatcha doin?”

“At target with Jared. Grabbing a few things for my flight. Gen asked him to pick some stuff up for the house.” He followed behind Jared. “What are you doing?”

“Heading back to my place to get some jeans.”

“Meet us at my place after?”

“I’ll see you then.”

“Bye, sweetheart.”

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{} Reader’s P.O.V {}

She pulled up to the gate. “Call Ackles” she said as she pushed the voice commend button on her steering wheel.

“What’s wrong?” Jensen answered the phone.

“Nothing’s wrong I just can’t get in.”

He told you the gate key as you punched it in. “Thanks

“No prob.” She hung up.

“In Here.” Jensen yelled as you shut the door. You kicked your boots off and followed his voice.

You cover your mouth and let out a belly laugh when you see selling sunset projecting on his wall. You caught your breath. “You have Padalecki watching it now too? I’m sorry buddy.”

“I hate it, but I can’t stop watching it. Why?!”

You and Jensen laughed. “Hey Ackles, I’m stealing some chips.”

“You can have whatever you want.” Jensen got up. “You want anything man?”

“No. I’m good.”

Jensen walked into the kitchen and noticed his clothes folded neatly on the counter, along with his hoodie. “What’s this? You’re not gonna hold my hoodie hostage?”

“Or did I just bring it back to spray cologne on it?” He smiled. “Don’t let me forget my dress when we leave. K?”

“It’s already at the dry cleaners.” He stuck his tongue out. “I can do nice things too.” You turned to put the chips away. He stepped towards you, when you turned back around, to him holding an arrangement of flowers in a vase. “Congrats on the job.” He kissed your cheek.

Your eyes started to water. “Thank you, they are beautiful.” You kissed him. You sat the vase on his counter.

“You guys are just the cutest!” Jared said, you shook your head and smiled. You both joined him on the couch. You watched and giggled when the boys started bitching about the show.

Jared looked at his watch. “I gotta go get the baby and get her to the doctor.”

“I’ll walk you out.” Jensen said as he got up and followed his friend.

You paused the show and stretched out on the sectional. You could hear him running back into the living room. He jumped on top of you making you giggle. He kissed you cheek then your lips then your forehead. Then your other cheek then your lips again. He started to raise his upper body, but you stopped him wrapping your arms around his neck, you brought his lips back down to yours weaving them together. He growled when you pushed your tongue into his mouth. You took his hat off and tossed it, his hair tickled as it fell into your face. You whimpered as he dipped his hips rubbing his hardness against you. He trailed kisses across your cheek and down your neck mixing them with little nibbles, you grinded against him making him growl again. His hand slid up in your t-shirt and found your bra-covered breast, you moan as he started to caress it. His lips found yours again and he shoved his tongue inside them making the fire radiate through your core. He tucked his arm behind you searching for your bras clasp. He unhooked it and sat you up. your arms lifted and he slid your shirt over your head. He guided you back down with his mouth on yours. Then started trailing kisses but didn’t stop at your neck this time. He stopped at the top of your breast sucking down on the sensitive skin. A small gasp left your lips when he grazed it with his teeth. You could feel the area starting to bruise. “Really Jensen?” He pulled away admiring his work he gave you a wicked grin. He dragged his tongue from the sore area down to your nipple. Making you gasp again as he started to flick his tongue against it. You grinded against him trying to find some release for your pulsating center.

“Mmmmm someone’s a bit impatient.” His hand crushed against your hip holding them down. You let out a frustrated moan and he flashed that grin again. He bit his lip as he watched you squirm. He brought his mouth down to you other nipple and took it in his teeth as his fingers started stimulating your clit through your jeans. “Fuck Jensen.” You felt him smile again. He swirled his tongue as he quickened his fingers. Your heavy pants and moaned filled the air as you felt the knot tightening again. He stopped and sat up. He unbuckled your jeans and slid both of your bottoms off. No teasing this time he dove right in. Making you arch your back and moan his name loudly. The knot tightened and tightened as he lapped at your clit. He slid his fingers in your entrance and started pumping them. “Baby,” your walls clenched his fingers tight letting him know you were close. He curled them and the knot bursts as soon as he found it. He sat up and slowed his pumping as the bliss flowed through your veins. “I love making you cum.”

You smiled at him. “I love the way you make me cum.” You said sitting up and grabbing his shirt, he lifted his arms, and you pulled it over his head. He stood up unbuttoning his pants and pulled both of his bottoms down. You pushed off the couch and stood in front of him taking his throbbing cock into your hand. A grunt escaped his throat as you started pumping his shaft. His eyes went wide as you kneeled.  

Your mouth watered with eagerness to taste his cock as you rubbed his tip on your lips. You stroked him with your hand. “Mmm Baby” he twitched at you took him in your mouth, but just barely. You started sucking, taking more and more and of him as your head moved towards his body. “Fuck (y/n)” he moaned as he reached your throat. You looked up to find his green eyes looking back. Brighter than you’ve ever seen them. You bobbed your head slowly and as your pace sped up so did his panting. You wrapped your hands around the back of your thighs and gave him permission. His hands gripped your hair as he thrusted in and out of you mouth “Fuck baby.” You sucked harder. “Baby. I’m gonna cum.” He tried to pull out of your mouth, but your wrapped hands stopped him and pulled him deeper into your mouth. With a loud groan you felt his salty goodness trickle down your throat. His hands slid to your face as you stood up and his mouth was on yours. You turned him and shoved him down on the couch. You sat down straddling him and sinking down on his hardness you both let out a moan. You leaned on him and started bouncing. He smacked your ass as you rode him. fire flowing through your veins. The knot in your stomach started to tighten as he stood lifting you up and laid you on the ottoman. You moaned loudly as he slammed back into you. He thrust hard and fast “Fuck Jensen...” The knot got tighter and tighter. “I’m gonna come.” He pushed deeper making the knot in your stomach bursts harder than you’ve ever felt. He let out a loud groan as your walls pulsated around him. He pulled out and tried to catch his cum in his hand. He managed. To catch most of it. You lay back and tried to catch your breath.

“Gimme a second Baby.” He hurried to the sink, and you giggled. You heard the water run as he washed his hands. He came back in and laid down beside you on his back. You rolled over and put your head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around you and kissed your head. “That was fucking amazing.” You nodded. “You ok darlin’?” You nodded. He chuckled and started playing with your hair.

You woke up in a panic. “Jensen! What time is it?”

“Don’t worry. I’ve been watching the clock.” He said. “You only dozed for about 20 minutes.”

You sat up. “So, what’s a girl got to do to get some coffee around here?” He chuckled.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Your stomach ached as he drove Beau to the airport. He had your hand in his lap, fingers laced.  He sang along with Texas Tornado as it played through your speakers.

“You know you have to call and sing to me every day, right?”

He chuckled. “I can do that.” Your hand stayed on his thigh as he downshifted for the light. You leaned on his shoulder. He kissed the top of your head. “It has to be a facetime though. I like the way you look at me when I sing.”

“Deal.” The light turned and he turned into the airport. You sighed as he parked and leaned his head against yours. “You ready Ackles?”

“No.” he sighed. “Hopefully we get done early.”

“Hopefully.” You agreed.

He raised his head and reached for the door handle. You lifted off him and reached for your own. You got out and waited for him at the front of the car. “You, ok?”

“Yea. Something fell out.”  He walked up to you. “Wanna walk me to the gate?”

“Are you kidding? I will take all the Jensen Ackles time I can get.”

“Grab your I.D.” you grabbed it and walked with him through the parking lot hand in hand.

You went through all the Transportation Security Administration screening procedures and walked fingers laced his gate. You took a deep breath and let it out. “2 weeks Ackles. What are you gonna do without me for 2 whole weeks?” you smiled. He laughed lifting his head.

“I don’t know darlin’.” He wrapped his arms around you. “I’m gonna miss the shit out of you.”

You laughed. “Same.”

“Oh, shit I forgot.” He got his phone out and sent you 3 contacts from his phone. “Jared, Steve, and Gen. Don’t worry, I already talked to them, and they are happy to help with anything or hang out or whatever. They told me to tell you not to hesitate to call or text.”

“You don’t.”

“It would make me feel better if I did.”

“Ok. Thank you.”  He took your face in his hands and kissed your lips. “Have a good flight. Let me know when you get there.”

“I promise.” He kissed you again and then nuzzled your nose. Then you heard the last boarding call for his flight. He kissed your forehead and then your lips. He turned and started to walk away. “Bye Mr. Ackles.”

He smiled. “Bye Baby.”

He walked up to the doors and handed them all his paperwork. He turned around and blew you a kiss. You blew one back and he walked through the doors.

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[kasperbasper]

Mdni

Very Horny Sam(& Darlin) Headcanons, because I’m a slut for this man lol

Also, these are seriously outright explicit, so tread with caution.(afab/masc presenting Darlin)

CW: detailed descriptions of Kink/Intercourse and Graphic Language.

Someone else said this already but OUGH, Sam 100% calls himself Daddy when he and Darlin have sex.

"That's right baby, suck Daddy's cock."  "Fuck Darlin, you like when Daddy moves like that?”

His favorite position is missionary, which is pretty vanilla, but it's because he likes to see Darlin come undone under him, to watch someone so strong lose themselves in the pleasure he provides.

He also likes 69-ing, but mostly as foreplay.

Going by the way he talks in his first BA, "God if it doesn't feel good to use you", Sam has a Filthy Mouth. 

Darlin has absolutely asked him to call them names (whore, slut, bitch, etc.) and while he doesn't like to demean them, even in Play, they'll slip out when he's particularly into it. 

“Fuck... yeah, baby, such a good little slut for me, huh?”

Darlin has a bad habit of wearing very little around the house, which is a problem, considering the tiny little shorts they like to wear make Sam's pants feel far too tight when he catches a glimpse out of the corner of his eye. It’s even worse if they decide to wear lingerie.

Sam has a thing for Darlin’s throat, he likes to Bite, Kiss, Suck, and leave marks all over it. There are very few occasions that Darlin doesn't have at least one hickey in an obvious place. 

POSSESSIVE. He needs everyone in the world to know that Darlin is his and he’s theirs. Because of this, even though he wasn't really one for PDA before meeting them, he’s always all over Darlin, even in public. 

Real touchy when he’s in the mood, he’ll sometimes just rest his hand on Darlin’s ass and squeeze to let them know he’s down.

An ass man, to be sure. Aside from all the fuel Erik gives us, when they’re fucking Sam will almost always have at least one hand on Darlin’s ass. 

Sam loves pussy, especially Darlin’s. He likes to touch it, to eat it, fuck it, something about the way the juices coat his fingers, or face, or cock, drives him fucking insane. (The same would go for sucking cock tbh, hearing his partner come apart above him does things to him that he can't explain.)

He got Darlin to squirt once, and secretly, he’s hoped for it every time since.

Darlin has a really sensitive chest, and Sam is sure to give it plenty of attention, he’s even gotten them to cum from just nipple stimulation before.

Vampires are sterile, which is good because both he and Darlin like it when he comes inside. Seeing it leak out of them makes it real hard not to clean them up with his mouth. And usually, he will.

Vampires have inhuman stamina, sure, but that extends to the bedroom. Sam can fuck Darlin for hours before he has to take a break. 

When testing the limits, they discovered that twelve straight hours of sex is not only possible but turns Darlin into a moaning, cockdrunk, mess. At which point Sam has to physically restrain himself, for their sake. They still don't know how long he can go.

Darlin loves sucking him off, and Sam is glad for it because their throat is heaven on earth.

To that end: Darlin lets Sam fuck their throat frequently, and almost always comes just from hearing him moan. 

VOCAL. Sam's a talker, he can't shut up in the throes of passion, he's always talking about how fucking sexy Darlin is, or how good they feel around him. He'll get real descriptive too, outright narrating his actions because he knows it drives Darlin crazy.

While not into proper erotic asphyxiation, Darlin likes Sam's hand on their throat, and he is more than happy to oblige. 

Sam's got girth, he's not small mind you, but he's damn thick too. 

Think 7" in length 5.5" in circumference.

Sam doesn't have many kinks really, but one time Darlin got him to agree to being blindfolded, and he came three times in twenty minutes. 

Adding to that idea: Sam's a whiner when overstimulated, to the point where he can hardly string together words, it feels so good. 

Sometimes when they're feeling more dominant, Darlin will tease him with orgasm delay. Sam will be panting and moaning and begging Darlin to “just fuckin' move already”, and they'll just languidly roll their hips while he's buried to the hilt inside them.

We know canonically that Darlin's blood drives him wild, but Darlin's response to being bitten is 10x worse, they came untouched, the first time Sam bit them.

Sigh. This man has made me into a naught but a simple whore, just by speaking. What have I become? I need him in me. I mean what.

[receival]

supernatural, seasons 1 - 5 starters.

the following is a collection of starter sentences from the cw show, supernatural.

i can’t do this alone.

where you headed?

no way i’m telling you.

i have these nightmares, and sometimes they come true.

you’re all i’ve got.

we go after this damn thing, together.

can i help you?

i kind of — i need to talk.

i’ve done some things … not good things.

there’s always forgiveness for us if we seek it.

salvation was created for sinners.

tell me what’s on your mind.

i’ve lied. a lot.

does that make me a bad person?

i know what you are.

you can’t be here.

this is hallowed ground.

maybe that works in the minor leagues, but not with me.

you’re wasting your time.

even if i did know where they were, i wouldn’t tell you.

this is everything i know.

what happened to them is not your fault.

it’s not my fault, but it’s my problem.

it’s not your problem. it’s our problem.

you got any better ideas?

this ends. now.

i’m ending it. i don’t care what it takes.

although i’m not too crazy about this new tone of yours — you’re right.

think real hard. it’ll come to you.

last time i saw you, you fell out a window.

i don’t know what you’re talking about.

this is what war looks like. it has casualties.

i’m gonna kill you, you know that?

sorry? i didn’t quite get that.

what the hell are you looking at?

who said anything about handing it over?

i want to stop losing the people i love.

i just … i just want this to be over.

did you get it?

you know this is a trap, don’t you?

don’t get yourself killed, alright? you’re no good to us dead.

it’s your fight. you finish this.

i want to thank you. for everything.

even when i couldn’t count on anyone, i could always count on you.

i wanted to let you know, just in case.

you kidding me? don’t say just in case something happens to you. i don’t want to hear that speech.

no one’s dying tonight.

i was hoping to kill more of your friends.

you know, i must admit, considering what they say about you, i thought you’d be … taller.

well aren’t you the chatty one?

i can’t believe you just shot me!

i’m so not in the mood for this.

holy water, (name). real cute.

where the hell did it go?

if you had just let me go in there, i could have ended all this.

the only thing you would have ended is your life.

you’re just willing to sacrifice yourself?

that’s not gonna happen — not as long as i’m around.

it’s not worth dying over.

no matter what we do, they’re gone. and they’re never coming back.

sometimes i barely feel like i’m holding it together.

did you really think i wouldn’t find you?

you gonna read me a story?

he begged for his life with tears in his eyes.

for your sake, i hope you’re lying.

you son of a bitch, you promised!

the things i did … it was a nightmare.

i’ll figure something out.

you’re selfish, you know that?

you don’t care about anything other than revenge.

how the hell are we gonna get in?

why are you splashing water on me?

come on. come on, we’ve got to get out of here.

(how are you?) / i’ll survive.

you saved my life back there.

i’m trying to thank you, here.

mad? i’m proud of you.

what the hell has gotten into you?

if you’re so sure, go ahead. kill me.

this was worth the wait.

two wrongs don’t make a right.

i want to know why. why’d you do it?

listen, you mind just getting this over with? ‘cause i really can’t stand the monologuing.

mask all that nasty pain, mask the truth.

you’re not my dad.

it’s inside me. i can feel it.

get back or i’ll kill you. i swear to god.

did i do this?

tell me if they’re okay!

you have to stay still.

i just need to find them.

you look good … considering.

man, tell me you can hear me.

come on, you’re the psychic.

i don’t know if we’re gonna find someone.

so, what? we just sit here with our thumbs up our ass?

well you sure know something.

if there’s only one working part, that’s enough.

you got to help me.

you haven’t called a soul for help.

aren’t you gonna do anything? aren’t you even gonna say anything?

i’ve done everything you ever asked me. everything. i’ve given everything i’ve ever had.

how is revenge gonna help him?

i should have never taken you along in the first place.

you get the hell away from me. stay back!

don’t worry, (name). i’m not going anywhere.

why won’t you look at me?

what’s happening to me?

it’s just a dream, that’s all.

i got to say, i’m impressed.

it’s out of my control. it’s just fate.

you always have a choice.

god, i feel like i’m at a slumber party.

alright, (name). this isn’t gonna work.

i’ll be damned.

oh, it’s good to hear from you.

it hasn’t been the same without you, (name).

you can’t kill death.

there’s got to be a way.

thanks for not giving up on me, (name).

this was the only way i could get you to talk to me.

what the hell do you want to talk about?

death is nothing to fear.

you’re living on borrowed time already.

how stupid do you think i am?

you really want an honest answer to that?

i took you for a lot of things, but suicidally reckless wasn’t one of them.

did you really think you could trap me?

i want to make a deal.

i don’t know how to help you. but i’ll keep trying, alright?

i mean, come on, you can’t … you can’t leave me here alone.

(name), you got to hold on.

you can’t go, not now.

we were just starting to be brothers again.

can you hear me?

it’s an honorable death. a warriors death.

you’re very cute.

there’s no such thing as an honorable death.

i’m not going with you. i don’t care what you do.

how do i know this isn’t just another trick?

oh, (name), i’m offended. don’t you trust me?

so we have a deal?

what are you doing that for?

you got some kind of angel watching over you.

you really don’t remember anything?

i had some things to take care of.

why don’t i believe you right now?

can we not fight?

half the time we’re fighting, i don’t know what we’re fighting about.

i just don’t want to fight anymore, okay?

(name), are you alright?

you shouldn’t have had to say that to me.

i put too much on your shoulders.

i made you grow up too fast.

i just want you to know … i am so proud of you.

why are you saying this stuff?

you’re scaring me.

stop asking if i need anything. stop asking if i’m okay.

i’m okay. really. i promise.

come here. i’m gonna lay my head gently on your shoulder. maybe we could cry, and hug, and maybe even slow dance.

don’t patronize me, (name).

what do you want me say?

aren’t you angry? don’t you want revenge?

look, don’t be stubborn. you know i can help you.

you’re not gonna hit me again are you?

look, if you don’t want my help, fine.

you didn’t think i remembered, did you?

they’re nice. they’re your friends.

i guess we’ll just have to blend in.

will you give me a little help here?

just because i’m not caring and sharing like you want me to —

these are your issues, quit dumping them on me.

am i gonna see you again?

(name), where did you learn to do all this?

i’m not alright. not at all. but neither are you.

that was beautiful. absolutely beautiful.

he’s the only one who gets to call me that.

something i said?

i can still see her, you know, the way she was.

but, hey, that was a long time ago.

truth is, i’m not handling it very well.

it just feel like there’s this hole inside of you? and it just gets bigger and bigger and darker and darker?

you and me? we were born to do this. it’s in our blood.

why are you even talking to me?

it’s an insult to his memory.

you can hit me all you want. it won’t change anything.

might as well put her out of her misery.

i just sharpened it, so it’s completely humane.

like i said, (name). no shades of gray.

you knew, and you just didn’t care.

i think you and i got some things to talk about.

i might be like you, i might not. but you’re the one tied up right now.

okay, i’m good now. we can go.

come on. i won’t even hit you back.

yeah, (name), but you didn’t. and that’s what matters.

you’re a pain in my ass.

i guess i might have to stick around to be a pain in the ass, then.

i don’t want to listen to you! i’m done listening to you!

it just feels like the right thing to do.

i think dad would’ve wanted you to have these.

if something evil happened there, it could have easily poisoned the ground.

well, don’t get too excited. you might pull something.

what else would it be about?

that’s perfectly normal, (name). especially with what you’re going through.

we shouldn’t even be here anymore.

you want to take another swing? go ahead. if it’ll make you feel better.

(name), where are you going?

what’s dead should stay back.

what the hell’s the matter with you?

stop it! that’s enough, okay? that’s enough!

i don’t scare easy, but you’re scaring the crap out of me!

you’re tailspinning, (name), and you refuse to talk about it, and you won’t let me help you.

i can take care of myself, thanks.

are lives are weird, man.

honey, is something bothering you?

haven’t we already talked about that?

haven’t we wasted enough time on him already?

you really think i could do something like that?

you brought me back.

you know what you did.

how could you? i loved you!

you really think this is gonna work?

it’s still me. i’m still a person.

i think she broke my hand.

you wanna stay for awhile?

i’m sorry. for the way i’ve been acting.

it’s my fault that he’s gone.

you can’t tell me there’s not a connection there.

we don’t know that, not for sure.

you’re the most important person in my life.

i never should have come back, (name).

i was dead. and i should have stayed dead.

you wanted to know how i was feeling. well, that’s it.

what could you possibly say to make that alright?

if i ran off with you, your mother might kill me.

you’re not a murderer, (name). you don’t have it in your bones.

i was upset, and i wanted to see you.

i’m sorry, baby, i’ll never leave you again.

what am i supposed to do now?

you mind your tongue with me, boy.

no one in their right mind chooses this life.

it’s my way of being close to him.

it was just a nightmare.

(name), i am trying to help you here, but you have got to be honest with me.

you asked for the truth.

can we make this quick? i’m really tired.

let’s pretend for the moment that you’re not entirely insane.

you’ve seen it, haven’t you?

what happened? talk to me.

these people are actually making deals with the damned things.

so we gotta clean up these peoples mess for them?

so, what, we should just leave them to die?

i don’t know what you’re talking about.

i was weak. i wanted to be great.

who don’t want their life to mean something?

i’m going to hell, one way or another.

you don’t really want to die.

i don’t want to die.

sit tight, alright? we’re gonna figure this out.

are you nuts?

i can buy us time to figure out something more permanent.

now allowed to say no, (name), not unless you’ve got a better idea.

we don’t have time for this.

just keep him alive.

i’m not going to put you out of your misery.

your misery is the whole point. it’s just so fun to watch.

i can’t do this anymore.

it’s all your fault.

i could have brought him back.

what the hell was that for?

shut your mouth, bitch.

it’s not the best time for a bleeding heart, (name).

what if we all have it?

it’s safer if you stay here for now.

i thought we were both going to die. you can’t hold that over me.

you can’t pull that crap with me, man.

why do we have to get stuck with all the responsibility? why can’t we live a little bit?

whatever weight you’re carrying, let me help a little bit.

you can tell me anything, you know what.

you don’t believe me.

he said that i might have to kill you.

take some responsibility for yourself, (name).

the truth is, it’s not your fault. (name), none of it is.

please, you’re in danger.

thank god you’re okay.

this has got to hurt like hell for you.

you can say a lot of stuff about me, but i’m not disloyal, and i’m not stupid.

i’m officially uncomfortable now. thank you.

well, sounds vaguely ominous.

what did you mean i looked the type?

i don’t scare that easy.

i should have found a way to save him.

you can’t save everyone.

the more people i save, the more i can change.

alright, time for bed.

if i ever turn into something i’m not … you have to kill me.

everyone around me dies.

please, you’re the only one who can do it. you have to promise me.

you have nothing to apologize for.

feels good getting back in the saddle, doesn’t it?

it had his face, but it wasn’t his face.

how’d you even know i was here?

i was chosen … for redemption.

hey, man, you’ve got to try this.

you’re enjoying that way too much, it’s kind of making me uncomfortable.

wait, there’s no such thing as unicorns?

i believe in what i can see.

i’m not enabling your sick habit.

there’s just chaos and violence, and random, unpredictable evil that comes out of nowhere and rips you to shreds.

you want me to believe in this stuff? i’m gonna need to see some hard proof.

this is vengeance. this is wrong.

men cannot be angels.

what you’re doing is not god’s will.

“thou shalt not kill”. that’s the word of god.

weren’t we gonna go to the movies?

we should go, or we’re gonna be late.

look, i said i was sorry.

are you sure you’re okay?

you’re just one person, (name).

(name), it’s me.

are you bleeding?

i tried to wash it off.

i don’t think it’s my blood.

(name), what the hell happened?

(name), i don’t … remember anything.

what did you find out?

nobody’s noticed anything unusual.

nobody saw me walking around, covered in blood?

how the hell did i get here?

what happened to me?

what if i hurt someone, or worse?

we don’t know what happened.

what’s the last thing you remember?

it just … feels familiar, you know?

please tell me you didn’t steal this.

i’m not thinking anything.

okay, now this is disturbing.

look, i just want to talk to you, that’s it, okay?

oh, do you a favor. that’s what i live for.

what’s going on with you, (name)?

i don’t know how i know, i just do.

i’d say they don’t like surprises.

should we knock?

even if you did do this, i’m sure you had a reason.

i killed him, (name).

you’ve gotta snap out of it.

you never told me this.

i didn’t want to scare you.

no one can control you but you.

you promised me.

we’re gonna figure this out, okay?

i don’t want to hurt anyone else.

i don’t want to hurt you.

whatever this is, you can fight it.

you know, i’ve tried so hard to keep you safe.

you’ll live to regret this.

how’d you find me?

that looks like it hurt.

just had a run - in with a hot stove.

you’re really carrying a torch for him, aren’t you?

romance — that’s just out of the question.

i’m not trying to hurt you, (name).

i’m telling you because i care.

i care about you a lot.

maybe you should leave.

it didn’t have to be this way.

you’re not (name).

you really don’t know the truth, do you?

he put him out of his misery like a sick dog.

why are you doing this to me?

shoot me.

are you that scared of being alone?

that’s holy water, you demonic son of a bitch!

i got lots of names.

why didn’t you kill me? you had a dozen chances.

would you give me two minutes to patch you up?

how did you know he was possessed?

i know demons lie, but do they ever tell the truth, too?

i’m part of this now.

this is my fight. i’m not getting your blood on my hands.

so, what bring you?

well, it’s good to see you.

don’t try to con a con man.

(name), back from the dead. getting to be a regular thing for you, isn’t it?

how about i smack that smartass out of your mouth?

careful, now. wouldn’t want to bruise this fine packaging.

oh, don’t worry, this isn’t gonna hurt you much.

feel like talking now?

i’ll make him bite off his tongue.

you’re not getting (name), you understand?

i’m gonna kill every one of you first.

i don’t give a rats ass about the master plan.

this isn’t going like i pictured.

you know when people want to describe the worst possible thing, they say it’s like hell? there’s a reason for that.

hell is a prison made of bone and flesh and blood and fear. and you sent me back there.

whatever i do to you, it’s nothing compared to what you do to yourself, is it?

they’d have been better off without you.

by the way, you really look like crap, (name).

you wouldn’t know anything about that?

that sounds vaguely dirty, but, uh, thanks.

you okay? (name)? is that you in there?

i watched myself kill (name) with my own two hands. i saw the light go out in his eyes.

it must have been awful.

it wasn’t you.

if it’s the last thing i do, i’m gonna save you.

dude, that’s not how it happened!

sorry, i just … i can’t even concentrate.

if you wouldn’t mind, just give five minutes.

you brave little solider.

thanks, thanks for the hug, but, uh — i’m okay.

what are you talking about? i’m a joy to be around.

okay, that is just nasty.

looks to me like something was hungry.

i have had it up to here with you.

then you know that i can’t keep letting you hurt people.

come on! those people got what’s coming to them.

i don’t think i can let you do that.

i don’t want to hurt you. and i know that i can.

like i said, i liked you. but you shouldn’t have come alone.

you wanna see a real trick?

could we please just leave?

okay, so we’re taking the scenic route.

stop. i’m mad at you.

hey, you love me.

you’re a jerk.

i’m so sorry. i didn’t see you there.

you’ve got to help me.

we should get somewhere safe first.

what the hell just happened?

don’t worry, (name), everything’s going to be alright.

you’re serious about this, aren’t you?

just take it easy, alright?

something happened to them. something they couldn’t control.

i sure as hell ain’t making apologies for them.

we’re all just scared of the unknown.

the only thing i’m scared of is losing (name).

i have to see him again. i have to.

i don’t like keeping her in the dark.

i know you feel guilty, but let’s just stick to the plan.

what aren’t you telling me?

don’t what? don’t tell me because i’ll mess up your hunt?

whatever it is, tell me, please.

you’re like a walking encyclopedia of weirdness.

what did you do to him?

you should worry about yourself.

i didn’t do anything to you.

hurting me won’t bring her back.

all i got left’s hurting you.

what am i supposed to do?

this isn’t working at all, is it?

i’ll see you in the morning.

maybe we should talk privately.

god, i am so stupid.

well, i guess neither of us are who we said we were, huh?

i don’t remember anything,

is there something else we can try to make it go away?

i’m sorry. i am.

stop it. don’t talk like that.

i don’t want to hurt anyone else. i don’t want to hurt you.

i can’t do it myself.

i need you to help me.

i don’t want to die.

we don’t have a chance.

i am getting out of here right now.

no, come on, we’ve got to work.

i - i don’t really know what i’m doing.

isn’t that kind of cruel? messing with their heads like that?

hey, i just play the part. i don’t write the script.

i’m very glad that you’re, you know, alive and well.

you won’t get rid of me that easy.

i’m sorry, what were you saying?

raising these spirits from the dead? making them murder for you? that’s playing with fire, (name).

you know what, you’re right, i don’t understand.

i’ve got nothing against you. you’ve got no part in this. please, just leave.

i cannot believe there’s an afterlife.

there’s an afterlife alright — but mostly it’s a pain in the ass.

i wouldn’t have done that if i were you.

they’re not gonna be very happy with you.

would have hated to have gotten thrown in here.

hey, you feel that?

you telling me you didn’t see that?

i think i’m adorable.

we’re not quite done here.

this is, without a doubt, the dumbest and craziest thing we’ve ever done. and that’s in a long, storied career of dumb and crazy.

i’m not thrilled about this, either.

do yourself a favor: don’t talk.

i want to handle this alone.

i can’t thank you enough for this.

oh, man, are you a sight for sore eyes.

i am the last person on planet earth you want to screw with.

what are you doing up?

oh, you can’t sleep, huh?

(are you alright?) / i don’t know.

honey, you’re scaring me.

just tell me what’s going on.

forget it. i’m just happy to see you.

i guess i was wrong.

are you sure you’re alright?

get some rest. i love you.

you been drinking?

i’m really glad you’re happy.

i get it. why i chose you.

why do we have to sacrifice everything?

that was so easy, i’m embarrassed for you.

i’m sorry that we don’t get along. and i wish to hell i could stay and fix it, but i’ve got to do this.

you’re just gonna slow me down.

this is dangerous, and you could get hurt.

look, whatever stupid thing you’re about to do, you’re not doing it alone, and that’s that.

i don’t understand. why are you doing this?

you don’t want to do that.

yeah, i can see that it’s blood, (name). what the hell’s it doing in here?

there are things out there in the dark.

i’m just trying to help you out, (name).

why don’t you just sit tight and try not to get us both killed.

there’s nothing here, (name).

stick behind me and keep your mouth shut.

this is real? you’re not crazy?

why’d you have to keep digging?

put the knife down, (name).

you’re not real. none of it is.

why is it our job to save everyone? haven’t we done enough?

are you lost?

still doesn’t tell us where we are.

i feel like i’m in a nightmare, and it just keeps getting worse and worse.

you said we were chosen for a reason! that is not chosen, that’s … killed!

i don’t think god has much to do with this.

hey, look at me, it’s not even that bad.

hey, listen to me, we’re gonna patch you up, okay? gonna be good as new.

i’m gonna take care of you. i got you. that’s my job, right?

you should eat something.

i hate to bring this up, i really do. but don’t you think it’s time we … bury (name)?

i’m not going anywhere.

i just don’t think you should be alone, that’s all.

you don’t think i’ve given enough? you don’t think i’ve paid enough? i’m done with it.

i should send you straight back to hell.

you’re like a … puppy. you’re just too fun to play with.

i swear i’m gonna tear that son of a bitch apart.

i did what you asked. now what?

that was pretty cold, wasn’t it?

you of all people should know that what’s dead should stay dead.

i knew i kept you alive for some reason.

can we celebrate for a minute?

(name), tell me the truth.

you shouldn’t have done that.

don’t get mad at me. don’t do that. i had to. i had to look out for you, that’s my job.

you saved my life over and over. you sacrifice everything for me. don’t you think i should do the same for you?

there’s nothing i wouldn’t do for you.

i don’t care what it takes. i’m gonna get you out of this.

[cursedvida]

It's really crazy to me to see the hate Mae gets, like I was reading some reviews and I can understand not liking a character but as soon as they start with the name calling their opinion is invalid to me because they have no reason to be calling her a bitch, among other things, like it just reeks of mysogyny, (it's like they just want an excuse to call women names) and seeing it coming from other girls makes it worse like..

"Oh the girl was such a bitch why did she do that 🙄" ..is it really that hard to think for a moment about the circumstances in which mae was raised?? Do they need it spell it out for them?? Like, c'mon guys do you really think that the people trapped in a bunker for generations have anything nice to teach/say about the apes?? Wes Ball please give us Mae's backstory in the sequel!! Your audience needs it bc they are out there calling Mae the real villain and saying Proximus was right 💀 (when he was literally everything Caesar hated in an ape)

Look, I'm usually a polite person when expressing my opinions, but I'm fed up with the hate towards Mae, basically because the arguments people give seem incredibly basic to me, typical of people with little to no understanding. Sometimes I doubt if these people have watched the same movie as me or maybe they have some sort of cognitive dissonance, but seriously, I find them ridiculous. Either that, or they are basically the typical comments from misogynistic guys or women with internalized misogyny who can't stand morally gray and questionable female characters.

And well, having said that, I'm going to present my doctoral thesis on this topic:

One of the things I've seen the most is people saying that Mae is evil, the true villain, or an ungrateful traitor to Noa. This argument seems quite incomprehensible to me because, even though we don't have much data about her, I believe there's something very important that explains why she acts as she does: the Proximus apes killed the people in her group, including her mother. I mean: her damn mother. If we add to that the UNDERSTANDING (I mean, you have to be very short-minded not to assume something so obvious) that she has been raised in an environment where they've probably told her all her life that the apes are the reason for all the evils of humanity and the main reason why humans live in shitty conditions, I think anyone with half a brain has enough information to understand why she does what she does.

Yes, Noa is a good guy, but he's not helping her. Noa and Mae have a common goal and decide to ally themselves momentarily to achieve that goal, which is to reach Proximus. As much as they've formed a bond throughout the story, it's not yet strong enough for Mae to set aside what she has worked for so hard. Mae not only bears the weight of humanity on her shoulders but also emotionally carries the idea that she, as the sole survivor of her group, must complete the mission at all costs. Are those who criticize her telling me that if they truly thought that with certain actions they could not only save their species but also honor their loved ones who have been killed infront their eyes, they wouldn't do them? And that they wouldn't do them for someone they've just met, no matter how much they like them? That's just not realistic, it makes no sense. We would all do the same as Mae in her situation. I mean, I have no doubts.

Another thing I love is when they say she's the "true villain" as if it weren't clear enough that she feels bad every time since she forms a bond with Raka and Noa when she does something that she knows may harm them. She feels pain for Raka's death and clearly, you can also see the conflict and remorse when she detonates the bomb. It's not something she enjoys doing, but she HAS to do it. In the final scene, even though she's carrying a gun, you can also clearly see her in conflict with herself. Clearly, she doesn't want to kill him. Clearly, she has nothing against Noa, and this is evident when she finally accepts the necklace and they even shake hands. You can't tell me that's the attitude of a villain, narratively it's not presented as such, and seeing it that way is to have understood nothing.

Mae is a complex character whose life is based on survival, she's no different from the characters we're used to loving and idolizing in other post-apocalyptic series, the difference here for me is that she's human and humans have to be bad by default and also that she's a woman. Because female characters always have to be the support, the romantic interest, or the unconditional friends of heroic male characters, and Mae is none of that. Mae is a character with her own story and ambitions that go beyond Noa's plot. Mae has her own plot, and it seems that's something that bothers people a lot.

I'm sorry, but the hate towards Mae seems very similar to the one people had for Sansa Stark in Game of Thrones, which basically stemmed from people being misogynistic and hating complex and imperfect female characters, combined with how much they hate seeing protagonist characters with such human and real characteristics that they can't bear the idea of seeing themselves reflected in them.

But hey, for Sansa Stark, I would have killed, and now for Mae too. Mae haters basically DNI

[rzyraffek]

Slashers with y/n that just gets along with everything

Like slasher could litteraly kill somone near y/n and she would be like alr alr whats really important is that you are happy🤠😎. Im sorry that first 2character had super long headcanons while last ones have way less :( I had no ideas Request open!

Billy Lenz

He always expects some sort of negative response when he calls people and when he heard new voice on the Phone he got even more exited cuz new person new reaction! He totally didnt expect her to just go "yeah yeah sure buddy, anyways... how is your day man? Cuz im so so tired...*starts normal converstation*

He probably tries to stay in character but he is so caught of Guard he doesnt know how to react really (hehe the table has turn)

Now he kinda hopes that she will pick up cuz shes very intresting😈 billy likey

"Ew its this creep again! He is asking for you y/n? Of please dont tell me you befriended him??" "So what? He said hes favourite fruit is strawberry he cant be that bad!" *billy saying slurs on the phone*

You need to constantly tell him that, no Billy no harrasing women isnt sexy, you arent quirky, you are mentally ill

"Y/n i killed that bitch that was gossiping about you 🧍 " "👍good for you billy im glad you found healthy way to cope with that negative emotion😇" "on god"

His whole moral compass is created around the simple question 'does it hurt y/n?' .1:no it doesnt so feel free to do it .2 do not do it, she will ban Billy from sweets (bad ending)

The man from hush

This guy. This dude. This Little gremlin. He is upset that he gets no reaction! Like please oh please act all angy when he 'acidently' shot tire in her car! But oh no ofc no, she had to be like "oh its okay honey i have backup in garage🥰" hes like HHUH SINCE WHEN WE HAVE GARAGE

Like tbh thats how i imagine how they met: he saw her, he wanted to hunt her, she was so chill that she didnt even leave her household while the power was off and he went inside and just saw her having lil nap on couch. 🧍🤨erm exuse me gurl im trying to roleplay epic hunter here tf

He probably kidnaped her cuz she was too weird to just kill her but he didnt want to risk her calling police. He probably tied her up and yeeted her on backseats. And then she begun judging music on the radio"yo big guy can i get some good music taste?" "What? Whats wrong with Taylor Swift?"

He will overshare everything to kinda check where is her limit if it comes to being chill "yeah so i killed this old lady.." "im sure you had good reason🥰" "🤨... anyways... yeah so i was drinking some redbull when some guy said i look ugly so i shoot his head off and-" "HEY HEY hold up geez you CANT drink Energy drinks?? Bestie you know it is unhealthy?? Also you like hunt for sport it will ruin your condition!? How you gonna shoot people with shakey hands?? You crazy or something?" "Damn😔"

Micheal myers

I tried to put him here but i realised he will be as chill as her.

Like he can give her gifts covered in blood and she' just going to clean it and wear it like nothing happened or completley ignore it

He cares about this stuff as much as y/n so like not at all. I mean tbh theres is a bit of difrence: shes at least positive about it! Like "yeah micheal go for it, love🥰😇 i know its hard to cope with trauma take it all out alr?" Shes trying to be a good supporting gf not her fault she never had serial killer bf!

Brahms Heelshire

He lives for attention! What do you mean the war crime he commited this lunch break is okay!?!? Baby pleasee

But this negativity disapears the moment he realised he can get a lot of positive attention when he will do some nice stuff! "Oh honey I didnt kill any rats today" "oh that's amazing brahms I'm sure you and the rats inside walls will get along well soon🥰" (rats in walls bully brahms)

Please complement him or he will get a tantrum and destroy something

Brahms and rats have very hard past i might do seperate hc about that

Ghostface

"Look babe! My newest victim *shows photo*" "ugh baby...😰 you NEED to buy new camera or watch some youtube tutorials about how to take good photos" "aw man whats wrong with my pictures 😔"

Otherwise y/n supports his hobbies! People need to grow😇 (and he needs to grow up)

If theres 2ghostfaces(like in most movies) they will bet money on how long you gonna keep this 'do whatever as long as youre happy' act. Well they didnt know that this wasnt an act but her personality

Also they will probably try to use this chillnes aginst her like "oooh y/n something terrible happened! I crushed my car oh what will i do!" "Alr bestie i will drive you over there😇" "😈omg you are so nice i totally didnt expect that(heheh i dont need to pay for gas today (hes very evil))

[silverware-drawer]

🟥 felppps-6391 🔁 cellbo

🔎 cellbo Seguir

why is my castle full of smoke

🟥 felppps-6391

'-'

🔎 cellbo Seguir

DID FOOLISH HOTBOX THE FUCKING BLOOD ROOM

🟥 felppps-6391

'-'

4 notas

🪑 what-the-muffin 🔁 kocwillrock

🦈 kocwillrock Seguir

guys whart happens if you set cocaine on fire you have one minute adn then im trying it

🪑what-the-muffin

0_0 . . .whart

💣 endcrystalenjoyer Seguir

whart

🪺 philza Seguir

whart

🔰 etoyless Seguir

whart

🦈 kocwillrock Seguir

THATS CRAZY ITS ALMOST LIKE NOBODY ASKED

#heeheeheeheehee #prank tag

26 notas

🥵 peterparkoier 🔁 its-nice-to-miku

🐦 its-nice-to-miku Seguir

culeros

🥵 peterparkoier

YESSSSS MAMOSSSSS

403 notas

🪷 quackitieeee 🔁 elmar1an4

🌻 elmar1an4 Seguir

es lunes 😏 alguien quiere ser mi novio 😜

🦠 backflipo-numero-uno Seguir

IT'S TUESDAY YOU CHEATING BITCH FUCK YOU

🌻 elmar1an4 Seguir

yes ok I am waiting in the bedroom

🦠 backflipo-numero-uno Seguir

okay give me a couple of minutes

🪷 quackitieeee

what the fuck is wrong with you guys

5 notas

🥵 peterparkoier 🔁 cellbo

🔪 cell-bites

você vai se arrepender disso nunca esquecerei o quão saborosa sua perna era

furryfury999-deactivated38192947

Umm. . . .what the fuck ??

garbage-meister-deactivated92929947

why the hell are people in the notes acting like this is real lmfao did you idiots forget that people LIE on the INTERNET

horsey-of-coursey-deactivated848291083

okay, but has nobody noticed how this lines up perfectly with that insane alcatraz breakout that was in the news last month, only this was posted first??

garbage-meister-deactivated92929947

i'm dying y'all are so fucking dumb LMFAO

🔎 cellbo Seguir

STOP TAGGING ME THIS POST IS A THOUSAND YEARS OLD I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THIS IS

🥵 peterparkoier

ENIGMA DO MEDO 😱

899.113 notas

🥵 peterparkoier 🔁 its-nice-to-miku

🪺 philza Seguir

Get you a man with two hundred and twenty seven alt accounts that are all in constant danger of being banned for hacking

💣 tnt-cannoff-1748 Seguir

God damn, hit on by Philza Minecraft himself, never thought I'd see the day 😳

🪺 philza Seguir

Lmao nah mate but I am hitting your gym. Give me ten minutes

💣 big-daddy-bigger-breakfast Seguir

Hell yeah

589 notas

🥵 peterparkoier 🔁 4ever-420

🕓 4ever-420 🇧🇷☑️ Seguir

PHILZA

--VERIFIED PRESIDENTIAL POST--

🕓 4ever-420 🇧🇷☑️ Seguir

CARALHO BAGHERA DONT REBLOG THAT IT WAS A DRAFT I DIDNT MEAN IT TO POST

--VERIFIED PRESIDENTIAL POST--

🐥 baghz-quacks Seguir

I don't know what youre talking about forever, it was a verified presidential post ?

🪺 philza Seguir

lmfao

🕓 4ever-420 🇧🇷☑️ Seguir

HOW DO I DELETE OTHER PEOPLES POSTS

--VERIFIED PRESIDENTIAL POST--

🕓 4ever-420 🇧🇷☑️ Seguir

FUCKING CUCURUCHO GET RID OF THIS BANNER RIGHT NOW

--VERIFIED PRESIDENTIAL POST--

🥵 peterparkoier

nem fodendo 👀

3,066 notas

🥵 peterparkoier 🔁 missa-not-missing

👑 chay-chay-chefs-blade Seguir

extra pics of the cake process because lulah told me to post them o7

Link

💀 missa-not-missing Seguir

CHAYANNE YOU'RE SO TALENTED

🪺 philza Seguir

Missa :D you finally back in wifi range?

💀 missa-not-missing Seguir

YES I AM COMING HOME RIGHT NOW

Thirty minutes!!

🪺 philza Seguir

. . .you good mate? It's been hours

💀 missa-not-missing Seguir

PHILZA HELP I FELL IN A HOLE

699 notas

🚇 tubbohell 🔁 philza

🔰 etoyless Seguir

L+ratio well played gf

🪑 what-the-muffin

@kocwillrock

🦈 kocwillrock Seguir

SHUT UP GO GET KIDNAPPED

🚇 tubbohell

am I missing something since when does etoiles have a girlfriend???

342 notas

🪑 what-the-muffin 🔁 what-the-muffin

🦈 kocwillrock Seguir

HOW IS HE GOOD AT EVERYTHING ITS FUDGING BEANBAG TOSS

🪑 what-the-muffin

hey foolish what does étoiles use when it rains

🪑 what-the-muffin

. . .a cucumbrella 0_0

🪑 what-the-muffin

foolish

🪑 what-the-muffin

foolish

🪑 what-the-muffin

foolish

🕓 4ever-420 ☑️🇧🇷 Seguir

Hi bad :D

-- VERIFIED PRESIDENTIAL POST --

🪑 what-the-muffin

Hi forever :D

🪑 what-the-muffin

foolish

🪑 what-the-muffin

foolish

🪑 what-the-muffin

foolish

🪑 what-the-muffin

foolish

666 notas

🥵 peterparkoier 🔁 ⚠️ pactriggerwarning

🦄 ayyyyypierre Seguir

If you want free GEGGS come to the GEGG factory under the statue of GEGG

🎼 wilbur-soot-official ☑️

i fucking hate gegg

🔎 cellbo Seguir

???

🔎 cellbo Seguir

this is the only thing he's ever posted?!??!??????

⚽ doctor-ovo Seguir

kkkkkkkkkkkkkk

🪪 elquackity ☑️

TU IN INFERNO PECCATORES ET IMBECILES SERA TU TUAM TUAM MISERERE CAELUM IGNEM PLUET ET SANGUIS TUUM IGNIS SIT NON ESSE TE VENIAT ARBITRIO TEMPESTATEM VENIAT ET NUNQUAM TE STULTI OMNES LUDIBRIBUS TUA RETUSUS OVIS ET RETUSUS FERRARIA ERIS OMNES MORTUUM ESSE ACTUTUM USQUAM VALE ET EGO NON REQUIRO

🧪 aquimicaehloka Seguir

what the hell

[two-corpses-in-the-burial-mounds]

Rewatched ep. 2 of the Untamed again specifically bc I missed that scene where LWJ pinpointed his crush immediately when he heard that awful rendition of his love song from the terrible handmade-in-10-seconds flute. You know, the first scene in the show where LWJ looked so happy :)

Look at how happy he is :D

Anyways, my point is, I rewatched that episode. And man, I felt so bad for Jiang Cheng. I understand why WWX and LWJ chose to hide WWX's identity from JC, but it's still a tiny smidge mean if you think about it.

Imagine you're JC, you rushed around the mountain to find your nephew bc god forbids your precious nephew gets hurt. You heard the commotion and arrived at the scene behind everyone. Your underlings? other clan people? told you that Wen Ning - the guy notoriously known for tagging along and only listen to your dead brother, whom you had an extremely complicated relationship with - just appeared. You got extremely happy and hopeful at first bc if your brother's sidekick whom your brother abandoned you for was around and kicking then maybe your brother is also still kicking and close by. But then just as quick as the happiness, your rage took over bc therapy doesn't exist yet last you saw him, you were very mad at your brother, and damn would death does nothing to resolve that rage. So you looked at the weird guy that supposedly summoned Wen Ning, who was wearing that damn familiar red and black goth girl outfit, and clinging to that damn Hanguang-jun whom you've been beefing with for the last 16 years also bc of said brother wow isn't that a familiar sight. So all of these factors combined, you're 80% sure that that's your brother, you insisted so but he kept denying and you got so mad bc why was he keep denying it you're so hopeful that your brother is still alive, you're so mad at him bc of the circumstances around his departure from you and your clan 16 years ago and the circumstance around your sister's death. You're so mad bc he broke his promise to you. Why won't your brother come back to you if he's alive?? So you argued and raged and fought with LWJ bc LWJ was getting in the middle of you two again. You fought and noticed the weird guy trying to get away so you hit him with your whip, both to stop him and confirm that he's possessed by your brother's spirit. Except nothing happened and there's no evidence of possession. You were in extreme disbelief and heartbreak bc you were so sure, so so sure that was your brother and now it's just seem like another one of your paranoia episode. You had so much hope that you found him again, you thought you found him. But evidence said it's not him. Everyone said it's not him. Everyone was saying you're crazy, that you killed your brother already but you didn't, that couldn't be him. So while you were having a mental breakdown, LWJ whisked the guy away to Gusu.

You got sad, and mad, and grumpy, and disappointed, and heartbroken for the next few days until you found and captured the weird guy again and would you look at that, it IS your bitch-ass brother who've been playing house with Hanguang-jun this entire time.

Rip to Jiang Cheng, you stared at your whip and be like, why did you fail me so

-How JC looked at WWX during that scene. You cannot tell me there's only hatred in these eyes.

Damn I'm not sure if you're my brother but the ability to make me mad is on point - Jiang Cheng probably

[prettyboypistol]

Literally in every fanfic I read the reader is already a pretty sleeper, waking up all pretty and shit. Do you know what I need? A Reader who wakes up like they've been pushed down the stairs. A Reader who spews gibberish for a second and then immediately goes back to sleep. A Reader who wakes up wrapped in their blankets sweating like crazy and completely disorientated and on the floor. Sorry if this ask is bad, but do you think you could write something like this for the mercs?

Mood as fuck, I'm in.

TF2 Mercs With a Messy Morning S/O xGN!Reader

Scout

Honestly thinks it's a bit cute, seeing you wake up in a pool of your own spit and hair in your mouth??? Yeah, that's what he's dying every day to protect.

Likes talking nonsense to early morning you just to see you struggle fr.

His favorite thing is waking up before you. He's all dressed and ready and you're 2 inches away from falling off the bed.

Jeremy writes down all the weird shit you say and reads it back to you when you're sad because what the fuck does "are Venus flytraps predators" mean

Pyro

Probably ends up tangled in your Limbs too. This bitch is a SLEEP CUDDLER.

Gets worried when you wake up in a panic, shout about something that sounds important, then fall back asleep like EXCUSE ME?? WHAT??

Doesn't like that you kick them in your sleep, but they can live with it.

Very worried about the night sweats and ramblings. You say some fucked up dhit when you're asleep!

Soldier

This mf is used to waking up at 6AM sharp and being battle ready by 6:05AM. This caused one of the initial rifts in your relationship with him until you convinced him that not waking you as well is early stealth training.

You remind him of a baby bird when you're curled up in all the blanket that you stole from him in the night.

Doesn't really notice that you are a messy sleeper until you two have breakfast together one morning, with you half awake, those bleary eyes and sleepy sighs made his heart skip a beat.

Heavy

He calls you his little spoiled cat when you glare at him all bleary-eyed for waking you up.

Loves cuddling you like a big bear, always the big spoon.

lowkey a messy sleeper too, but is more agitated when half awake than you

you two having delirious talks when you two aren't awake fully omg couple goals

Demoman

You look like a pretty sleeper next to this motherfucker

drunk mumbling, sleeptalker, sleepfighter WWE in your bed.

Wakes up after you so ususally doesn't see the absolute wreck you wake up as. If you two wake up at the same time he makes fun of you.

You two have probably ripped the blanket in y'alls sleepwars. Mrs. Pauling has checked in on you two at 2AM after hearing shouting, only to see both of you, fast asleep, on the floor, and total messes.

Engineer

Thinks it's cute bc he rises with the sun if not a tad earlier to watch the sunrise. Absolutely tells you to "rise n' shine".

records your half-awake mumbles and talks to you, listens back to them podcast style in his downtime.

Is absolutely terrified that you will rip off his prosthetic hand so dating you absolutely instilled the safe habit of taking his hand off before bed.

Sniper

Is usually out of bed before the "fun" begins, but had overheard your morning routine

Isn't a fan of the blanket stealing, but overall doesn't really care. If he's in a bad mood he'll sleep on the couch so you don't steal it.

"Am i pretty, Mick?" "About as pretty as an aye aye when you first wake up" "Da-DAMN!!"

Has a poloroid of you fast asleep in his hat

Spy

This bitch c o m p l a i n s.

He's the most prissy little bastard when it comes to sleeping. He sleeps EXCLUSIVELY on his left side, legs in a specific way, and hogs the blankets. When you come into his bed and sleep-kick him out, he is flabbergasted. absolutely bamboozled.

Doesn't cuddle you, but now there is a pillow barrier that protects his precious sleep routine.

Secretly thinks you are downright adorable with how god-awful you look, crusty eyes and all

Medic

Doesn't really mind, but gives you light teasing about it. If he's having a bad day then he gets annoyed by the blanket stealing.

Wakes up and gets ready for the day, only to see the doves nesting with you and that melts his hearttttt

Kisses your gross ass awake every single day despite that

Has stayed up multiple nights to study your sleep cycles.