#but damn does he have it bad for that crazy bitch

[arc-en-disco]

IQUITOS, PERU—Despite his continued efforts to drive him out of his goddamn mind and turn his every waking hour into some kind of living nightmare, Werner Herzog admitted Monday that he still loves that crazy bitch.

“Aw, who am I kidding? That nut-job’s really got my number,” Herzog told reporters after being screamed at for literal hours by the total psycho. “He may not give me a moment’s peace and I can’t serve him a lukewarm coffee without hearing about it for a week, but what can I do? He’s the one. That fucking lunatic is the one.”

Herzog then discussed for the umpteenth time how on earth he would manage to drag a ship over a mountain with his crew, sighed, and restarted the excavator used to flatten the terrain for his new epic feature.

Herzog's proclamation of love for that big sack of crazy comes in direct contradiction to a statement he made in Iquitos last week. After getting into an argument with his boyfriend over the meals served during the film shooting, Herzog was reportedly thrown right into a river branch by the fucking basket case, who just five minutes later assaulted his costar Ms. Cardinale for “hogging the spotlight with her face and fake-ass sunny demeanor” and was promply thrown in himself.

During the intervening minutes, Herzog made a number of statements to documentary maker and friend Les Blank regarding his boyfriend’s unstable mental health, fluctuating emotions, and irritating yucca allergy before reconciling with the bat-shit insane man in the bunk of his rusty boat.

Although Herzog has tried multiple times to leave that crazy bitch once and for all, he has thus far been unsuccessful. His most recent attempt came shortly after the tumultuous filming of Nosferatu and Woyzeck (which all happened in just a few breathless, manic weeks), but was ultimately delayed when Herzog couldn’t imagine his life without the raving sociopath.

“Maybe it’s the way he nonchalantly destroyed a bathroom in a lodging we once stayed in, saying it didn't suit his monumental aura, or the way he threatens to strangle me every time I make a directorial suggestion, but damned if I don’t adore his crazy ass,” Herzog said. “I’ll kill him someday, I swear, but that wack-job is going to end up being the star in my best known films.”

Friends said they have seen the couple go through many difficult times in years past, including that night when the crazy bitch had a little bit too much to drink and accused Herzog of giving his crew too much attention when one of them needed to be escorted to a hospital right away after a near-fatal snakebite, and that incident, a few weeks back, when he had a four-hour screaming rage fit and refused to shut the fuck up until Herzog had slowly chewed up the last piece of Toblerone in his face. Still, movie critics confirmed that Herzog and his old clown always seem to deliver great flicks in the end, a trend that may suggest those crazy fucks are perfect for each other.

“If my girlfriend woke up everyone in our cast, crew and one-mile radius in the middle of the night every time I carefully pondered maybe I wanted to reshoot a five-second sequence the next morning, I’d probably leave her” Herzog's longtime collaborator and friend Walter Saxer said. “But Werner? Man, does he have it bad for that crazy bitch. No self respect, I tell you.”

Saxer could not be reached for further comment, as he is currently recovering in César Garayar García Hospital for talking shit about the love of Herzog's life.

Inspiration

[sharlsworld]

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆ the sainz effect — 𝐎𝐏𝟖𝟏 ❁

( 𝗈𝗌𝖼𝖺𝗋 𝗉𝗂𝖺𝗌𝗍𝗋𝗂 𝗑 𝗌𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗓 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 ）

（ 𝗌𝗎𝗆𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗒 ）𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗍𝗅𝖾 𝗌𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗓 𝗁𝖺𝗌 𝖺 𝖿𝖾𝗐 𝖽𝗋𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝗐𝗋𝖺𝗉𝗉𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽 𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗋， 𝗌𝗁𝖾 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗌 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝗒𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝖼𝖺𝗉𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗍？𝗆𝖺𝗒𝖻𝖾 𝖺 𝖼𝖾𝗋𝗍𝖺𝗂𝗇 𝗌𝗁��� 𝖺𝗎𝗌𝗌𝗂𝖾

✫ i kinda really hate this i got lazy at the end sorry

🝮

yn

liked by pierregasly and 1,834,175 others

yn i’ll be back japan 😋🫰🏽 kinda boring race, happy birthday oscariño, getting fined for having a tummy ache is crazy, me & lily were munching alllll weekend, 8/10

lilymhe My favorite date 🥰🥰

⤷ alex_albon sigh

lando you’re so cute

lando 😍😍😘😘🥰 i’d eat sushi for you btw

⤷ yn do it then

⤷ lando okay let me mentally prepare myself. let’s go to dinner tomorrow tonight

⤷ yn i do not like the way you said that

⤷ lando may we please go to dinner where i’ll eat sushi for you at 8pm tomorrow night sweet beautiful kind princess?

⤷ yn 👍

⤷ lando chat is that rizz

⤷ alex_albon never beating the norizz allegations

⤷ lando oh who is you

carlossainz55 Saying “tummy ache” at your big age is crazy

⤷ yn fuck i’m glad you got fined you bitch.

⤷ carlossainz55 I was just teasing bug don’t be upset with me please

⤷ yn shut up i don’t like you right now

oscarpiastri Thank you! 🥰❤️

⤷ nicolepiastri I didn’t even get a thank you that sweet Oscar

⤷ oscarpiastri Mommmmmmmm

francolapinto i miss you mami

⤷ yn i miss you too franco

charles_leclerc I think you should fly back to Monaco with me I need some consoling after that race you know? 😢😢

⤷ yn awhh poor baby come pick me up

⤷ charles_leclerc omw mon cœur

⤷ carlossainz55 No???

⤷ yn fuck out my face you cunt

⤷ yn take my stuff back with you too

⤷ carlossainz55 Guess I’m the butler now

⤷ yn obviously. don’t scratch my suitcase either or i’ll punch you in the throat

⤷ carlossainz55 Okay gyash 💔

maxverstappen1 Should’ve been in my garage

⤷ yn i was in your garage in china though

⤷ maxverstappen1 I just miss you schat

⤷ yn i miss you too maxie

⤷ redbullracing he’s giggling rn

lewishamilton Hey I had a bad race too

⤷ yn yeah but you took my brothers seat so…☹️

⤷ lewishamilton I’ll give it back I’ll drive the Williams

⤷ scuderiaferrari No??

⤷ lewishamilton Such a cockblock 😒

🝮

lando

liked by oscarpiastri and 1,455,163 others

lando just ate sushi no biggie

yn good boyyyyy

⤷ lando my pants were JUST on

⤷ carlossainz55 No i’m sorry bug you have to find someone else lando has too big of a playboy reputation. Sorry lando.

⤷ lando oh but when she does it it’s okay?

⤷ yn what are you trying to say?? cause i’ve never done anything with any of the drivers. i think i’ve kissed charles twice

⤷ charles_leclerc thrice…and it was amazing

⤷ lando nothing you’re perfect babylove you can do wrong cause you’re so perfect and beautiful and amazing and smart and kind and funny

⤷ yn yeah that’s what i thought

maxverstappen1 Fuck you’re beautiful

⤷ yn aw thanks maxie 🥰

⤷ maxverstappen1 of course baby

⤷ alex_albon looks like max is going up in the lineup

⤷ danielricciardo wait tell me who’s winning wtf

⤷ alex_albon 1. charles 2. lando 3. max 4. lewis 5. franco

⤷ charles_leclerc fuck yeah

⤷ lando how am i not number 1 i just ate fucking sushi for her

⤷ francolapinto fuck me than damn

olliebearman bro ate an ice cream sundae while lando was conquering his biggest fear

⤷ lando hey don’t make her sound bad i loved it so much i didn’t even gag. breathing exercises work guys

charles_leclerc 😾 she likes me more

⤷ lando and what makes you think that?

⤷ charles_leclerc we’ve literally kissed thrice. THAT MEANS SOMETHING. and, she hangouts with my family so

⤷ lando oh yeah? she hangouts with my family too and me and her dad go golfing together SO HA

⤷ charles_leclerc oh yeah? really? me, her, her mom, and her sisters went out to brunch in spain last year SO HAHA I WIN

⤷ lando FAWK

⤷ yn guys…no…stop...seriously

⤷ lando whatever you say babylove

⤷ charles_leclerc whatever you say mon cœur

🝮

yn

liked by badgalriri and 1,785,302 others

yn 🍉🍓🍒

charles_leclerc so radiant 😍 let’s kiss 🌹

⤷ yn no ❤️

⤷ charles_leclerc aw man 💔

lilymhe My beautiful babe 😩😍😍

iamrebeccad The most gorgeous girl 😍😍😍❤️

francisca.cgomes oh girl i’ll be stealing that dress 🥰 you look so sexy 🫦🫦

⤷ yn omg i’m blushing

oscarpiastri 😍

⤷ carlossainz55 Oscar?

⤷ charles_leclerc wtf oscar you’re my son

⤷ lando my own teammate? 💔💔💔

�� maxverstappen1 Oscar I’ll push lando off the track in bahrain if you cut all contact with y/n…promise

⤷ francolapinto b-but you said you’d learn spanish for me… was that a lie??? a disguise?

⤷ pierregasly yoooooo get in there oscar

⤷ lewishamilton 😐

oscarpiastri Very pretty

⤷ yn thank you oscariño 🥰🥰

⤷ georgerussell63 Oh! Just in we have a new man in competition for y/n’s heart, things just got crazy. Who will get the final rose? Stay tuned

⤷ charles_leclerc fuck my life

⤷ lando naurrr don’t do this to me

⤷ lewishamilton i’m literally richer than him

⤷ francolapinto AGHGDHEJSJDNENS

⤷ maxverstappen1 Guys, she’s obviously gonna choose me. Just back out now

⤷ charles_leclerc fuh nah i have the best chance out of everyone else we’re literally neighbors

⤷ lando ok and i go on her family vacations??

⤷ francolapinto yk what, i quit

⤷ lewishamilton me too 💔🥀

⤷ georgerussell63 JUST IN FRANCO COLAPINTO AND LEWIS HAMILTON ARE DROPPING OUT OF THE COMPETITION FOR Y/N’S HEART

⤷ kimi.antonelli touch grass

⤷ georgerussell63 You cannot be talking rn

⤷ kimi.antonelli you right you right

🝮

yn

liked by nicolepiastri and 1,890,502 others

yn p1 for oscariño, p3 for lan, dnf for carlitos (you’ve been a bad boy yuki), 7/10

carlossainz55 At least you still have my back when you’re mad at me

⤷ yn yeah now can you bring me a shirley temple

⤷ carlossainz55 Making it now 😒

oscarpiastri Maybe you were my good luck charm, you should hangout in my garage more

⤷ lando 😾😾

charles_leclerc You looked so beautiful in the paddock mon cœur ❤️

⤷ yn awh thanks charlie 🥰

lando why did oscar get cute pictures and i got the one where i wasn’t paying attention

⤷ yn well why wasn’t your attention on me???

⤷ lando please don’t guilt trip me right now i’ll cry

⤷ yn whatever get me sushi

⤷ lando going right now

⤷ georgerussell63 Thoughtless obedience, I love to see it

⤷ lando frick off

nicolepiastri I can’t believe you got Oscar to pose for a picture so easily, and with such a big smile too! 😂

⤷ oscarpiastri Mom, please.

⤷ maxverstappen1 Okay I didn’t push lando off the track but you still won!!

⤷ yn ???

⤷ maxverstappen1 I quit, I’m going out tonight

⤷ yn stay safe maxie 😊

⤷ maxverstappen1 Always schat

⤷ alex_albon wait i’m gonna cry that was so 🥲

⤷ georgerussell63 With a bittersweet goodbye, Max Verstappen drops out of the competition leaving Lando, Charles, and Oscar. We’ll be back next week folks.

🝮

oscarpiastri

liked by iamrebeccad and 1,615,243 others

oscarpiastri She said she knew a spot

yn do you like my fab oscar???

⤷ oscarpiastri What’s that?

⤷ lando i like it babylove

⤷ oscarpiastri What’s a fab?

⤷ charles_leclerc I love it mon cœur

⤷ oscarpiastri WHAT IS A FAB??????

⤷ yn fuck ass bob 😾

⤷ oscarpiastri Oh yes I love your fab honey!

⤷ charles_leclerc HONEY??? WERE LOSING HER LANDO

⤷ lando can’t we just be a throuple + one? ☹️

reyesvdec So cute! ❤️

♥︎ by author

georgerussell63 In the city of love? 👀

yn i love traveling with you oscar

⤷ oscarpiastri I love traveling with you too honey

lando friends, family, fans, it is with great sorrow that i admit that i, lando norris, drop out of this competition. i will be going out tonight

⤷ yn stay safe lan 🥰

⤷ lando always babylove. i’ll always cherish our time we spent together

⤷ yn we’ll always have miami

⤷ lando always

⤷ yn so i’ll see you in a few days at dinner with my family right?

⤷ lando of course

⤷ georgerussell63 And then there were two, the competition dwindles down to Charles and Oscar after Lando surprisingly drops out of the competition with a heartfelt goodbye just a few days after Max dropped out. They’ll always have Miami, see you soon folks.

🝮

yn

liked by francisca.cgomes and 1,185,907 others

yn kinda nervous

carlossainz55 Dafuq 🤨

oscarpiastri ❤️

⤷ carlossainz55 DAFUQ

⤷ charles_leclerc DAFUQ

⤷ charles_leclerc no mi mon cœur

⤷ lando dis gur

nicolepiastri 🥰🥰❤️

alex_albon i smell someone else dropping out of the competition 👁️👁️

olliebearman first date kinda nervyy

⤷ carlossainz55 Ollie don’t make me call Charles.

⤷ olliebearman Party pooper.

charles_leclerc Ladies, with gentle hands…I come to this comment section today to announce that I will be dropping out of the competition, it’s been a great few years and we’ve shared many great moments together but it’s time, I quit. Catch me at the club tonight.

⤷ yn stay safe charlie ☺️

⤷ charles_leclerc always mon cœur

⤷ yn i’ll always remember us sneaking off in the middle of the night and just talking

⤷ charles_leclerc i would listen to you for hours mon cœur

⤷ carlossainz55 Oh so you’re a slut.

⤷ georgerussell63 And with that, we’re left with the last one standing, the one who joined last, the one who no one thought would win, the one that stole the heart of y/n. We have the winner of the competition, the man, the myth, the one who gets the final rose, Oscar Piastri. What a ride that was, thanks for following along folks.

🝮

oscarpiastri

liked by charles_leclerc and 2,704,186 others

oscarpiastri my honey 💛

yn my babyyyy 🩷🩷🩷🩷

danielricciardo Aussie’s on top

⤷ yn oh he’s on top alright

⤷ carlossainz55 DAFUQ

⤷ yn jkjk (not jk)

⤷ carlossainz55 STOP

⤷ charles_leclerc Oh I know Oscar is never bored

iamrebeccad the sainz effect is real

yn you’re so sweet i wish australians were real

⤷ oscarpiastri ???

pierregasly What a love story, i’m getting emotional I just need a minute 🥹

kimi.antonelli HAHAHA OLLIE OWES ME 5 THOUSAND DOLLARS AHAHAHAHAHAH

⤷ olliebearman darn it 😒

⤷ yn wtf??

⤷ olliebearman i had my bet on charles

⤷ pierregasly Me too I thought those bitches we’re getting married. So happy for Osc though this is so sweet 🥹

⤷ olliebearman let’s get you back to bed grandpa

georgerussell63 The last man standing, thanks for following along this crazy love story folks. ❤️

[nonasuch]

IT IS TIME: Miss Universe National Costume 2023

it's here! the Met Gala for people who actually understand what camp is!

yes I'm like 3 months late, but I sat down and watched the damn thing. I put up with the horrible little rhyming couplets for each contestant so you don't have to. and without further ado:

Albania: Starting off very Victoria’s Secret this year! Apparently it’s gold for important symbolism reasons, not just because everything in this competition is blinged out to within an inch of its life. The wings do look nice in motion!

Angola has a good balance of bling, actual cultural dress, and oh hey it has surprise bonus art on the back! That will be a theme this year.

Argentina: Why is there a guy in a hat right down at the bottom edge of her cape. He looks like he’s staring at her butt. How does this represent their flag.

Aruba: This is fine. I like the coral. She thinks climate change is bad. Her parrot is clearly way too heavy to hold up and it wobbles like crazy in motion.

Australia: This is now multiple years in a row that Australia has just worn a fucking prom dress. It’s got native wildflowers on. You could have made this exact same dress with a Great Barrier Reef theme and I would have liked it 80% more.

Bahamas: This costume is allegedly based on a 19th-century doll from the Bahamas “world famous straw market,” which is already bullshit; I googled “bahamas straw market antique doll” and like. they both have big skirts? I guess? Anyway now I’m too distracted by the way she has a hoop skirt awkwardly jammed under there and hiked up on one side. Minus ten for poor construction.

Bahrain's theme is “Bahrain’s pearl heritage,” which like. I guess? The headdress and yoke are pretty. Put more pearls on the actual outfit. Kudos for getting to wear pants.

Belgium: Girl. No. Why is your theme “Latin dance” and why are you wearing a spangly cocktail dress with a totally unrelated piece of fabric fluttering behind it? (Apparently the fabric was designed by a member of Belgium’s royal family? Who is a fashion designer? This is what nepotism gets you.)

Bolivia saw Aruba’s parrot and was like, I can do that better. And she was right! It’s way less wobbly and the costume as a whole does work better. Also made from recycled materials, so we’ll see if that’s a theme again this year. The back of the cape is nice too.

Sadly, Bolivia's parrot supremacy was short-lived, because Brazil was like, bitch please. I see your sad little parrots and raise you FOUR giant parrots, and also the shoulder parrots are articulated and can turn their heads back and forth. I think Brazil wins the parrot competition that only she knew she was in.

[jinwoosbabyboo]

Watch Your Mouth

Dealing with someone talking shit about your man and you stand up for them because you're not about to let someone talk crazy about your man. A/N: I like to imagine this as an office girly scene and you have that one hater ass bitter coworker [Requested by: onliafaze]

Zayne

You could tell you were coming down with a cold and it was going to be a bad one. Zayne just so happened to have the day off and you were struggling to make it through your last shift before your days off. So being the loving boyfriend that he is, he brought you homemade soup and some cold medicine. He even kissed you before leaving not caring that you might get him sick as well. Just another reason to spend the day in bed with you. You sat at your desk with the biggest smile on your face. Suddenly a bitch with a voice like nails on a chalk board decided to insert herself into your bubble.

Hater: If you took better care of yourself your man wouldn’t have to waste his time coming all the way here to bring you soup MC: Weren't you sick last month and your man told you he was going to leave until you were healthy again and proceeded to ignore you for a week? Hater: ..... MC: Just because your man doesn’t care about you doesn’t mean you need to project on me Hater: I’m not projecting! MC: ………Whatever helps you sleep at night miss girl

Once you get home to tell Zayne what happened when he left, him being the sensible person that he is, suggests that maybe your coworker was just in a bad mood.

MC: Don't defend her Zayne: Sorry I meant her man hates her MC: Thank you

Rafayel

Rafayel truly had eyes for you and you only. He cared very little for others feelings you were the one and only exception. He also hated to be touched so when your coworker saw you constantly having a hand on him, when he would come by the office, she thought she’d try her luck. Rafayel immediately looked at her like she smeared the most vile thing known to man on his arm.

Hater: Your man is rude as hell MC: To you. Hater: No he’s just rude MC: To you. Hater: Why just me MC: You’re weird … who grabs on another woman's man right in front of her? You’re weird Hater: You’re rude as hell too you guys are made for each other MC: Cry about it

Rafayel stared at you in admiration while you told him what went down after he left.

Rafayel: Have I ever told you how hot you are when you get serious? MC: Yes all the time

Xavier

“Damn it I left my tea in my car” You had gotten all the way up to your desk when you realized what you were forgetting. On top of that it was cold so you were dreading having to walk in it again. Maybe you could make a cup in the office kitchen, but they only have sugar and you prefer honey; you prefer your tea. “I’ll go grab it for you just stay here and warm up” Xavier said as he appeared next to you with that soft expression he always has when he looks at you. “Thank you Xav you’re so sweet” You handed him your keys and watched as he quickly made his way out of the office before turning and smiling to yourself.

Hater: What is he a dog? Does he do everything for you? MC: ….. You know if your man hates you just say that Hater: M-my man doesn’t hate me w-why would you say that? MC: Look at you stuttering and shit did I hit a nerve? Hater: Whatever MC: Have the day you deserve babes!

Xavier approached you right as your coworker barged past him almost knocking the tea from his hand. He looked back with confusion etched across his face before turning back to you.

Xavier: What happened? MC: She was just admiring the relationship we have Xavier: What really happened? MC: She wanted smoke so I gave her a barbecue

Sylus

Thanks to Sylus wanting to spoil you at all time your office was the most decorated with all new everything and was even professionally designed to be organized and efficient. People loved to come by and admire your office set up. Except for one person who just seems to turn her nose up at you. She pouts for hours on end when Sylus makes his appearance to bring you lunch, flowers or even a ‘just because’ gift when he wants to see you. You ignored this bitter coworker day in and day out because why would you need the kind of negativity in your life? One day though she finally decided to voice her unwanted opinion to you.

Hater: You only have all of that because your man buys you everything MC: Yea … he does … tell your man to work harder Hater: That is so insensitive what if I'm single? MC: I can see why….. Hater: What's that supposed to mean!? MC: You're insufferable I wouldn't date you either

Sylus always found your attitude cute and it was even better when it wasn't directed at him.

Sylus: You said she was insufferable? MC: Somebody had to do it Sylus: and you were the perfect one for the job huh? MC: I was defending you praise me Sylus: I've never been defended before thank you Princess

[slasherscream]

the absolute INSANITY of the pushing your s/o away thing with the crazy ass boy gang… it’s like triggering a dog’s prey drive but for serial killers w abandonment issues

CRAZY ASS BOYS GANG + PUSHING THEIR HAND AWAY/REJECTING AFFECTION

❥ who gets pissed the fuck off ❥

Billy Loomis - Is irritated off rip. Billy plays it cool but he needs physical affection from you. He’s casual about it so he flies under the radar, but this is a stage five clinger. He’s always doing something small. Touching your fingers. A hand on your back. Neck. Sitting behind you instead of putting you directly in his lap. It’s little stuff. Hovering. Smack his hand away one of these times and his jaw clenches right away. “What the hell is your problem?” Please snuggle up to him and don’t start world war 3. It’s not worth the joke. 

Kevin Khatchadourian - Quick question, why do this to yourself? Kevin does not need, nor does he particularly enjoy, physical contact. Period. He is gracious enough to give you physical contact because he knows you’re built different (pathetic). For you to then turn around and spit in the face of him being kind enough to meet your needs? …. Quite crazy of you. The look he gives you is pure confusion because he’s honest to God baffled. What do you want to accomplish here? Go ahead and start begging now, because he’s not touching you for a long while. 

Sparrow!Ben Hargreeves - Swings wildly between damn near dodging any physical affection you attempt to give him to hanging off you like a squid on a ship. No in-between. For you to have the audacity to reject him when he’s feeling clingy? How dare you. He doesn’t have to beg anyone for attention! Did you forget who you’re dating? Doesn’t even care if you did it with obvious playfulness. He’s sensitive. He’s tender. He’s a bitch. He goes to get up and leave entirely and you have to grab him and beg him to cuddle so this doesn’t become a week long cold war. Happy ego stroking! 

Stu Macher - What you’re not about to do is ruin his mood. Baby, he’s about to ruin yours. How about that? If you push his hands off you once he enjoys a little playful bitchiness. Playing hard to get. He likes to chase, it’s cool. Twice? Okay…. We’re irritating him. Three times? He’s gonna grab your hand, stop smiling, and stare at you. When he places his hand back where it belongs, on your thigh, don’t act up again. He could make your whole week go to shit. Don’t start wars you won’t win. He’s the king of playing stupid games and winning stupid prizes. 

Nathan Prescott - Has to bluster and get visibly pissed off because he is rejection sensitive to a degree that is astounding, frankly. Let you see him upset after he tried to be affectionate and you said no? Hah! Not fucking likely. Being physically affectionate in the first place doesn’t come easy to him. Quality time is more his speed. Even worse if it wasn’t a sexual advance he was making. He tried to wrap an arm around you and you shrug him off? You’ll be lucky to get a hello out of him for the next week. Good luck soldier.

David Mccall - Outwardly, he pretends to be despondent and sheepish when you bat his hand away. He’s using sadness as a shield. If he’s sad then you might feel bad and give in. He’ll use any tool in his arsenal to get his way. One of his greatest skills is speaking in a soft voice, just shy of how you’d speak to a toddler, and telling you: “I didn’t mean to upset you, sweetheart. I’m sorry.” This is all to hide the fact that you rejecting him in any way, shape, or form makes him so angry he can barely think. You might be able to catch the rage hidden behind the veil. If you’re quick enough. David puts on a convincing show, but his gentle smile is twitching at the edges.

❥ who gets sad and mopey ❥

Jordan Li - Oh you pushed them away? No, that’s cool, it’s totally fine. You can want space. Everyone’s entitled to their own space bubble. Of course. Are you having a bad day? Are you mad at them? Did they do something wrong? Did they piss you off? These are the types of questions Jordan is going to “casually” ask for the next ten minutes while they sit really close to you. They’re not touching you! They always sit with their legs spread so wide. Their arm isn’t around you, it’s on the back of the couch. You’re nitpicking here, babe. They’re staring at you with their big brown eyes. No, they didn’t get any closer while you weren’t looking. 

Josh Washington - Why would you do this to him? Don’t push his hand off you unless you mean it or you’re being obviously playful about it. If you pretend to be mad at him while you do it, no matter how unconvincing of an actor you are, he will believe you. Sensitive king. He also won’t go to touch you again until you initiate the contact. Physical touch is reassuring and comforting to him but even he (category five clinger) gets touch aversion at times. As observant as he is, he knows some people are uncomfortable asserting their boundaries, so they’ll try to soften the blow of saying no by being “playful”. He cannot take the risk! You could mean it but don’t want to hurt his feelings. Josh interprets many playful no’s as real ones. Better safe than sorry.

❥ secret third worse thing ❥

Sebastian Valmont - Doesn’t take it for anything more than what it is. If you’re being playful he recognizes it. If you’re seriously not wanting to be touched at any given moment he understands that as well. However, in the case of being playful, you’ve started a war you can’t win. Because, as much as Sebastian enjoys chasing you…  Sebastian also likes to be chased. Ten minutes from now you’ll go to give Sebastian’s cheek a kiss and he’s going to dodge you. Hard. To such an extent it’s bordering on insult. He’ll be wearing a cat that got the canary grin all the while. 

Jason Dean/JD - Doesn’t take you seriously even if you are dead serious. I’m sorry, you’ve discovered his worst character trait by far. Most boundaries are a joke to him. He always wants to touch you. He loves you! He craves you like a drug. You should feel the same for him, in equal measure and desperation. So why wouldn’t you want him touching you? Holding you close. He’s so gentle with you (usually). His arms should feel like home. No matter how long a day you’ve had. No matter how overwhelmed you might be with sound, sight, touch. In JD’s eyes you’re one soul in two bodies. He always wants you near. He knows you want the same. You’re just a little dramatic sometimes.

[gatorbites-imagines]

I think it would be so cool for the petvincible to have a regenerative!reader almost like immortal but better obviously maybe they can cut off an arm for sinister Mark and every thing! (I love Sin Mark and just want him to be loved and happy!)

Alternate Mark Graysons x regenerative male reader 

Headcanons 

Readers inspired by deadpool, cuz i love that guy. I also had a request about regenerative reader who was like deadpool, so i mashed the two together. 

The petvincibles with a reader who regenerates, whos also a mercenary means they are harder to control than normal. 

Normal reader can be like “killing is bad guys, stop doing that please” but if you are also a trigger-happy killer, then it's kinda hard to throw stones at a glass house, right? 

Becomes more the reader being like “hey, we only kill bad people, or the ones we are paid enough to kill. We dont just kill any randos, okay?” 

Reader matches their crazy on most days, but there are things they do that even reader wouldn't do. Like damn bitch, you live like this? To some of them, but he loves his babymamas, so who is he to judge. 

I think the petvincibles are also the first people to not judge reader on his appearance if he has the scars like deadpool. They have all seen way worse, and reader is handsome in their eyes. 

Reader being like deadpool also means hes even more of a pain in the ass of the GDA. Like, they had to deal with him as a merc before and could barely contain him, but now hes got all the vincibles? Hell on earth. 

Reader wouldn't work for the GDA, obviously. “i dont trust the government bub, get someone else to do it” when he was asked to join the guardians once upon a time 

Instead, he gets paid a shit ton of money to help out every now and then, without actually being a member or signing any contract with the GDA. Reader also only accepts the money in physical bills, because he wants to swim in it like scrooge McDuck. 

His regenerative powers is probably how he “tamed” sinister at first. Cuz like, does reader possess Deadpools whole, fourth wall breaking knowledge and power too? 

Then he knows their whole deal and is like “alright dude, have a snack and calm down” after slicing his own arm off and shoving it at sinister. 

I like to think reader tastes pretty damn good, cuz his cells are always regenerating and deteriorating at the same time. Means hes always fresh and yummy to eat. 

Also means that the vincibles take a longer time getting used to being around normal humans again, cuz the reader is so unserious and just heals when they accidentally break something, or rip something off. 

But i do imagine that the Marks start realizing how messed up mentally the reader is, just like them. Like, after a while all the readers self-deletion jokes aren't so funny because they know he means it. 

The Marks would start to try and be more careful and being there for him, maybe help him do something outside of killing, which is pretty damn bold coming from them.  

But it also means they have experience with feeling that there is nothing else you can do but just keep killing. 

In this house we all heal together and become better people. Readers still a merc though, even if his babymamas start joining him on hits to make it easier, quicker and more efficient. Reader obviously demands double pay cuz theres two of them now. 

[be-xkyy]

I couldn't help but write this, I feel inspired after watching a police movie.

Tw: yandere, violence, abuse of power, dirty talk, unprotected sex, age gap, infidelity, alcohol, dubcon.

Masterlist

Yandere Corrupt Police Officer who has been a cop for almost ten years without getting a damn promotion, in addition to having to deal with his crazy wife who only knows how to complain and rant when he's at home. She is a real bitch.

So it's normal for him to be upset and frustrated. He has to be in the patrol car all day and all night, patrolling the streets looking for assholes who can't follow the damn rules. They deserve a good hit or two or many before threatening them and taking them to the station.

But what I hate the most, damn it, are weekend nights, having to deal with drunk and high teenagers in their fancy cars, spoiled brats who think they're better just because their parents are wealthy. Fuck them. He drives on the empty roads, except for the occasional car passing by, on a quiet night. Until he sees a sports car speeding down the avenue, clearly exceeding the damn speed limit. Bastard.

He steps on the accelerator and turns on the siren, following the car that doesn't slow down for a few blocks. His hands grip the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles turn white, and he feels his blood boil. Whoever it is, they're screwed. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, the car slows down, pulling over to the side of the road and turning off the engine.

He does the same, parking right behind the car and turning off the siren, and only the red and blue lights flicker in the night. He gets out of the car, annoyed, adjusting his belt before slamming the door. He walks towards the car, approaching the tinted window that slowly rolls down, revealing the typical rich kid, blonde, blue-eyed, and obviously high. But he doesn't pay attention to it; his eyes are fixed on his companion, a sexy little thing that makes his crotch feel tight—maybe his girlfriend? He isn't sure, but what he is sure of is that he wants you for himself.

“Officer, we may have exceeded the speed limit a little bit, but if you want, you can give me a ticket—” The boy speaks with slurred words, clearly under the influence of substances, but he doesn't let him finish, interrupting him with an authoritative voice.

“Get the fuck out of the car now, both of you. And get close to the hood, quickly.”

He looks annoyed as you two hesitate, his annoyance doesn't calm down when the boy finally opens the door and gets out staggering. You follow his example, standing in front of the car, blinded by the high beams. He approaches and grabs the boy tightly, delivering an unexpected punch to the stomach that takes the wind out of him. You let out a scream as the boy doubles over in pain. When you try to approach your boyfriend, he places his hand on the holster of his gun, looking at you, and you freeze.

“Weren't you taught that you must stop automatically when a law enforcement officer orders you to? Because you're trying to act smart, huh?”

He says this while putting the boy face down, folding his hands behind his back, grabbing the handcuffs from his belt, and fastening them on his wrists. Then he stands up, looking at you standing there like a scared servant. Sexy girl. A mischievous smile slips onto her lips, and she gestures with her head towards the hood of the car in front of you.

“Bend over the hood, quick.” He watches as your clouded eyes widen in disbelief at his words almost as if you can’t believe what’s happening. You shake your head as you say in an alcohol slurred voice “No. You can’t-”

“I can. And you can bend over the good way or I can bend you over the bad way, but I advise you to be good for your boyfriend’s sake.”

You bite your lip hard looking at your boyfriend on the ground in handcuffs, small tears pricking your eyes as you lean over the cold hood your cheek and palms flat against the metal, he reaches over his hands quickly grabbing a handful of your covered ass, squeezing the globes tightly before pulling up your skirt revealing your ass and lace panties.

“Looks like you were going to have fun huh? Did I ruin your moment? Don't worry I'll make it up to you at least baby”

He says in a teasing coo as he raises his hand and brings it down on your ass. Smack, smack, smack. You gasp at the spanking that leaves your skin red and stinging painfully. You close your eyes when you hear the sound of his zipper opening, he brings his fingers up to your mouth hitting your lips.

“Spit.”

You reluctantly comply letting your saliva drip onto his fingers and he uses it to lube up his fat member pumping a few times before pulling your panties to the side revealing your puckered hole and glistening pussy he guides his cock into your folds sliding in as far as he can until he bottoms out, you bite your lip to keep from whimpering at the feeling of being so full.

He growls at the feeling of your walls throbbing around his cock as you try to accommodate him. Your nails dig into his head as he begins to thrust into you hard, the head of his cock hitting your g-spot over and over again making you dizzy, he places his hands on your hips using them to move you back each time he thrusts into you sending currents of undue pleasure through your body.

“Fuck– you're tight, huh! You don't get fucked enough huh baby? Poor pussy”

He says in an amused voice, when you don't respond he grabs you by the hair lifting you up and bringing your back to his chest, you feel his hot breath against the shell of your ear sending shivers down your arched spine.

“You know I wanted you from the second I saw you, I don't usually do this with women but I wanted you, I wanted you, very romantic huh, darling?”

He laughs against your ear as if it were very funny and you hold back so as not to insult him, you don't answer him and he rolls his eyes, without stopping thrusting into you he lowers the hand that is on your hip towards your pussy pinching your clit hard between his fingers and you can't contain your moans any longer, his movements become erratic at the same time that the knot in your belly tightens you try not to cum but it is difficult with all his attentions you reach the breaking point when he passes his wet tongue over your ear.

You can't help but cum, letting out a moan of pleasure as your vaginal walls contract around his cock. You can feel it throbbing inside you with a few final thrusts. He stops, letting out a guttural growl, filling you with his warm seed. You collapse onto the hood. He pulls out of you as his cock softens, sliding into his pants. He examines your open hole and watches as his cum slides out, so he uses two fingers to push his cum inside before adjusting your panties as he says in a threatening tone.

“I trust this will stay between the three of us, won't you? I'd hate to have to arrest you or worse.”

[niningtori]

mastermind | oneshot

pairing: choi beomgyu x you

summary: you should be used to your relationships failing by now, but after finding out your boyfriend, yeonjun, cheated on you, you're devastated yet again. and beomgyu, your best friend, is there to pick up the pieces, just like always. but isn't it a little odd that things just never seem to work out?

genre: romance, angst, smut (MDNI), yandere

warnings: YANDERE!GYU, manipulation, gaslighting, SMUT (MDNI!) creampie, breeding kink, pregnancy kink, dirty talk, degradation, if i missed anything pls lmk!

word count: 5.1k

notes: ... hi. i'm reposting this with major edits but i hope you all still like it!

｡o.ﾟ｡*･♡♡･*｡ﾟo｡ ｡o.ﾟ｡*･♡♡･*｡ﾟo｡

do you love your boyfriend? of course. do you trust him? of course. so are you surprised to see a photo of him very clearly making out with another woman? well, of course.

your friends, your family, and even passersby would simply tell you you shouldn’t be, though. yeonjun used to be very well known for his sexual escapades, so when you announced he was your boyfriend, nobody was particularly happy for you. especially not your best friend in the whole world, beomgyu. 

“he’s just gonna hurt you, just like the last one!” 

you remember flinching at this. you remember how hurt and indignant you felt at the time. you also remember the silent treatment you gave him, and the cold war that began shortly thereafter. he apologized afterwards, of course, but you had asked him what was so bad about you that he couldn’t just believe that yeonjun had changed for you. he was silent at this, which only made you even angrier. it was all pointless in the end, you suppose.

as you sit on beomgyu’s couch, your phone rings again. you have a special ringtone for yeonjun, so you don’t even bother to check the caller id before you silence it. he’s been calling you incessantly since you texted him that you saw the picture and were done with him. your face is downcast and if you weren't so consumed by your sadness, you'd notice the faint look of delight in beomgyu’s eyes. 

“i think you should just block him,” he says as nonchalantly as he can muster. maybe in another state of mind, you'd register the satisfaction in his tone, but right now? all you can sense is his urgency, which can easily be explained away by selfless and sincere concern. just how he likes it.

“you’re right,” you sigh. “i guess i just don’t understand. things were going so well, and then he goes and does this to me. i don’t know what i did wrong,” you say while burying your face in your hands. he almost can’t control the way his lips want to curl up at this, but he’s become nothing if not a master of containing his true emotions. he’s kept them from your prying eyes for years, after all.

“aww, baby. it’s not you, it’s him. he’s just not the right guy for you,” he coos, but for some reason, you can’t help but be annoyed at his kindness. 

“i know you want to say i told you so, so say it,” you snap, pulling your face from your hands and scowling at him.

“i don’t want —” 

“if you wanted me to learn my lesson, i’ve learned it, alright? i don't need to be taught again,” you say with a huff. you know you’re being unreasonable. you know you’re being a bitch, but you just can’t help it. who told beomgyu to be right about your potential partners all the damn time? fuck his crazy-accurate intuition.

he looks genuinely hurt by your harsh words, though, so you can’t help but feel a wave of regret wash over you. you’re drowning in it, even, as you watch his puppy eyes gloss over.

“beomie, baby, i’m so sorry,” you say, gently grabbing his face with one hand and pushing his long hair behind his ear with the other. “i know i’m being awful to you when you’re just trying to help.”

“it’s okay,” he says solemnly, looking like a kicked puppy. “as long as you’re sorry.” somehow, his easy acceptance of your apology makes you feel even worse. you pull him in for a hug and he buries his face in your neck to a) soak up your scent and b) hide his growing smirk. but you’re too caught up in your feelings to notice.

“it’s really okay,” he assures once you part.

“no, it isn’t. i’m being a shitty friend. how about you stay over tonight? we can watch a movie and i’ll order something for us to eat,” you suggest. he graciously accepts your peace offering and the night is spent with giggles and an overt amount of cuddling.

as you’re drifting off to sleep, you feel beomgyu plant a kiss on your forehead. to anyone else, this might come across as oddly intimate, but you know better. people have said that you two would make a good couple, but you two do nothing but laugh it off every time. they just don’t understand your dynamic. he’s a man like any other, you guess, but seeing him as anything other than a friend is simply laughable. you know he feels the same exact way about you, too, which is why you are unfazed by his next words. 

“i love you. it’s just — i just love you so much, you know?” he whispers.

“aww, beomie. you know i love you, too. you’re my best friend in the whole world,” you murmur as sleep finally overcomes you.

if the lights were on, you’d see how his face falls and contorts into something like a grimace.

-

yeonjun has been spamming you like crazy, so you listen to beomgyu and block his number as well as his social media accounts. you think this whole chapter of your life is over, but, as always, you are wrong.

a week or so after your messy breakup, a sudden knock at your door pulls your attention away from mindless scrolling on your phone. you don't think much of it — it’s probably just beomgyu with some takeout, or something. however, when you look through the peephole, you realize that yeonjun is not finished bothering you just yet. 

“baby, please. i know you’re there. please, just open up. i’ll explain everything!” he pleads. you’re not particularly known for your callousness of heart, so it doesn’t take much more begging for you to feel guilty and let him in. you open your door with a sigh. 

“thank you!” yeonjun says with a look of pure relief as he hurriedly enters your apartment. he takes a seat on your couch (unprompted, you might add) and takes a shaky breath. you cautiously seat yourself on the other end of the couch and prepare to listen to whatever bullshit he has conjured up for your viewing pleasure before you decide that it’s best just to cut to the chase. ripping the band-aid off, and all that.

“look, i don’t care that you’re sorry. there’s nothing you can say to make me change my —” 

“it was beomgyu!” he exclaims before you can get another word out.

“... what?” you ask confusedly. where the hell is he going with this?

“the girl, the picture, fucking everything was all his fucking fault. he did it,” he rants. oh. he must think you’re fucking stupid.

“yeonjun, please don’t waste my time,” you sigh. “i think you should leave,” you add, getting up from your seat.

“wait!” he pleads, reaching for your hand and gently pulling you back down. “remember how i always told you that i had a weird feeling about him? like how something always felt… off?” oh well. if he wants to continue putting on a show, then so be it. besides, it’ll be a funny story to tell beomgyu later on.

you nod.

“well, he always looked at me weirdly. like, whenever i’d walk into the room, there was always this… this tension and i never knew why, but i understood it as soon as we made things official. it’s because he likes you.” you’re silent for a moment and yeonjun actually thinks he’s getting through to you before you burst into near-maniacal laughter. his face falls.

“beomgyu? beomgyu likes me?” you say between giggles. beomgyu loves you like a sister. no way in hell does he harbor a shred of romantic love for you. 

“you’re not listening,” he grunts, slightly tugging at his own hair in frustration. “he’s always been weird, and the other night at the bar, he introduced me to that girl you saw me ‘kissing’. they kept giving me drinks until i could barely fucking see straight. then she kept coming onto me, but i said no. i finally told her to kick rocks, but the next thing i knew was that she was kissing me. i know it sounds crazy, but you have to believe me.” you want to dismiss everything he’s saying, but his utter sincerity seems to strike a chord within you. you can’t say you believe him, but he continues before you can properly digest his words.

“think about it. why the hell would i cheat in such a public place where all of our friends hang out? don't you think i would be smarter than that? and even if i wasn't, you know me. you know i would never cheat on you.” he seems desperate now, but it’s still hard to believe that beomgyu orchestrated this entire thing instead of the very real possibility that yeonjun just got drunk and acted recklessly.

“alright, this isn’t funny anymore. you need to stop,” you warn, not liking how much he’s making sense.

“think,” he repeats with conviction.

so you do. you think back to all of the tumultuous relationships you’ve had until now. they've all ended in different ways, yes, but they all had one common denominator: beomgyu. oh, beomgyu saw your boyfriend getting cozy with his ex. you’re having an argument with your boyfriend? beomgyu thinks he’s a piece of shit because of how he treats you, you obviously deserve better! wait, your boyfriend keeps taking too long to text you back? he’s just losing interest! it’s clearly better to break it off now rather than getting too invested when you’re inevitably going to break up, anyway. and all the other greatest hits. your face twists from focused to horrified as the realization sinks into your bones. it's beomgyu. it’s always been beomgyu. 

you look to yeonjun with pure shock in your eyes and he meets your gaze with a look of sympathy. you finally get it. 

“junie, i’m so sorry,” you say, tears springing into your eyes. “i’m so sorry i doubted you.” 

“it’s okay,” he replies with a melancholy smile. “he manipulated you.” 

“does… does that mean we’re back together now?” you ask, voice tinged with hope. his smile falters at your question, and you feel a sense of dread.

“i need some time,” he says after a pause, dropping his hand from yours. “you really hurt me. i understand that beomgyu manipulated you, but it really hurts that you didn't trust me, you know?” 

“i understand,” you quietly reply. you’d be hurt if the tables were turned — it’s only natural. you just hope to god above that you haven’t let beomgyu ruin another good thing for you.

-

beomgyu is confused as to why you’ve been ignoring him for the better part of a week. you don’t respond when he texts or calls, and his intuition is telling him that it has something to do with yeonjun. maybe you’re just shutting down because of the breakup? it was particularly brutal this time around, after all. he’s lucky that yeonjun has such a lascivious sexual history, or else you might not have bought his little charade, even with the proof presented directly in front of you. that’s how much you love(d) yeonjun. the thought causes jealousy to rear its ugly head in his stomach, but whatever. there’s no way you’re going back to him after the way the scandal has made its way through your social life. even if you do want to get back together with him, there's no way your pride will let you. your pride has been a particularly nasty sort of obstacle in beomgyu’s pursuit of you, but it’s absolutely delicious to be able to use it against you like this. serves you fucking right.

still, it’s his job as your dutiful best friend to cheer you up. with this in mind, he picks up your favorite takeout and heads to your place. he smiles when he imagines the way you’ll gratefully embrace him once you realize that he’s here for you. maybe this time you’ll understand that he’s always been the one who’s there for you when someone hurts you. maybe this time will be his big break, finally freeing him from the purgatory he has been in for god knows how long.

he knocks on your door with a hopeful smile on his face. surprisingly, you’re swinging the door open mere seconds later with your eyes similarly lit up with hope.

“yeon— oh. it’s you,” you say, deflating immediately. there’s a certain sense of resentment in your tone that he catches onto, but he chalks it up to disappointment. his face falls. goddamn it. damn it all to hell.

“i brought you some food to cheer you up,” he says while shaking the plastic takeout bag, completely ignoring the slip of another man’s name. 

he invites himself in, slipping off his shoes and sitting down on the couch as he usually does. 

he waits for you to join him, but when he looks up at you, all he sees is you staring at him, arms crossed and face contorted in anger. surely you can’t be that upset that he’s not yeonjun, right? now that he thinks about it, why would you be expecting yeonjun, anyway? hadn’t you effectively cut him off? did you talk to him and take him back after all that (you think) he’s done? that can’t be right. unless… unless you actually let him talk to you. oh god, please tell him that’s not what happened.

“what’s wrong?” he asks, face devoid of anything deeper than curiosity and worry. 

you’re silent for a moment before you carefully choose your next words.

“i talked to yeonjun,” you reply, and his heart sinks to his stomach. “he told me some… interesting things.”

beomgyu hopes you don’t notice how hard he gulps. you do not.

“what did he say?” he asks, face tense but still showing no clear signs of guilt. 

“he told me what happened that night. he told me how you got him drunk and basically forced that girl onto him. he also said that you’re the reason none of my relationships work out,” you declare, opting to stop beating around the bush and just get some answers. you study his face for a crack of some sort, but there is none.

“and what do you think?” he asks quietly.

“i think… i think he might be telling the truth,” is what you say, but you’re sounding increasingly unsure with every word because beomgyu looks more hurt than you’ve ever seen him.

“you believe him over me?” he asks, voice cracking and lips trembling with his brown eyes glossed over in what you can only describe as devastation. god, either beomgyu’s a really good actor, yeonjun’s a really good actor, or you’re just fucking stupid.

“i… i don’t know what to think, beomgyu,” you whisper after a pause. all he does is nod before his next words pierce your heart.

“is that why you’ve been ignoring me?”

jesus christ. you were so sure that yeonjun was telling the truth when he told you about beomgyu, so ignoring him only seemed natural under the circumstances, but he looks every bit like the victim in light of your accusations. his trembling lips and wounded gaze make you want to strangle yourself for ever doubting him. as you feel yourself being consumed with remorse, though, you remember the sincerity and desperation in yeonjun’s words. maybe this was all a huge misunderstanding? maybe they’re both convinced that they’re right? 

“y-yes. i’m sorry. i was just confused. maybe he just misunderstood?” you babble. he likes your hesitancy, but it’s still wearing on his patience. as much as he wants to say he can’t believe that you’d question him because of some guy you dated, he can believe it when it comes to you. you always, always, always hurt him like this, and he’s had just about enough.

“and what if it’s true?” he asks, pathetic facade wiped clean off of his face while something more somber replaces it entirely. your eyes lock with his and you’re stunned silly. 

“what?” is all you can manage to reply with. 

“what if i pushed that girl onto yeonjun? what if i ruined all of your relationships? what would you do?” 

“so it’s true?!” is all you can say, guilt flaring into sheer rage and hurt. 

“so what if it is?” he asks, as if he doesn’t comprehend how twisted this is.

“so… so how could you do that to me?!” 

“i was only doing what’s best for you,” he impatiently replies. “they were only gonna hurt you, can’t you see that? even before i did anything, there were still all those men who cheated on you, lied to you, used you. what’s wrong with wanting to protect you from people like them? i just couldn’t stand to see you living like that!” he argues, clearly believing he’s completely justified in all of this.

sure, you’ve been hurt before even without his intervention, but that doesn’t mean he can just play puppeteer in your love life to “protect” you from anything similar happening ever again. you trusted him and he manipulated you. he acted like a knight in shining armor this entire time while knowingly sabotaging any potentially good thing that could come your way. and he did it all because he wants to protect you? bullshit. 

“you know, i thought that even if everyone other man in the world could hurt me, you never would,” you say shakily, either from sadness or anger. maybe both. “i guess i was wrong.”

“hurt you?! hurt is watching the person you love fuck other people over and over and over again! hurt is watching you laugh me off and never even fucking considering me as an option, goddamn it!” he yells while slamming his hand on your coffee table. 

“so your solution was to fuck up every relationship i have just to have me to yourself?! do you not realize how fucked up that is?!” you yell back, trying to appear unfazed by his increasingly enraged behavior. he seems to falter at this, genuinely at a loss for words at your unforgiving pinpointing of his erratic actions. the desperate, eager-to-please beomgyu you know all too well is finally back and you feel your confidence surge because of it.

“i only did that because —”

“why? because you love me? or think you do?” you mock with a hollow laugh. “you don’t purposely ruin the life of someone you love.” he looks genuinely wounded by your words. 

“but i —”

“i don’t care. get out,” you say mercilessly. you’re absolutely through with listening to his fucked up ideations about love and what his twisted moral compass deems as justified because of it. you’re so preoccupied with preaching on your soapbox, you don’t even realize his attitude has once again shifted from the compliant beomgyu to the one you don’t recognize at all. 

“... no,” he says flatly. 

“did you not fucking hear me? i said get out,” you repeat through clenched teeth. normally, your raised hackles would be enough to scare him off, so you figure he’ll tuck his tail and leave right about now. oh, how wrong you are.

“are you deaf?” he asks with a sneer. “i said no.”

“what do you mean, no?” you ask. somewhere in the depths of your mind, alarm bells begin ringing, but it’s far too late to heed them. plus, you’re still under the impression that he’ll bend to your will. 

“oh, so you’re not deaf. just stupid,” he snorts. your jaw is agape at his audacity. beomgyu has caught an attitude and gotten fresh with you before, sure, but nothing like this. to say you’re dumbstruck would be to put things in the mildest of terms. you can barely get out your next sentence.

“w-what do you mean?” 

“i’m not leaving this apartment,” he says firmly, and before you can even ask him to explain, he’s dragging you away with a painful grip.

“ow! beomgyu, you’re hurting m—” 

“shut up. i told you what real hurt is, but you're not fucking listening. i don't want to hear another word come out of your mouth,” he says in a monotone voice. if the alarm bells were ringing in the depths of your mind before, they’re absolutely blaring at the forefront of your brain right now. 

“what are y-you —”

“i thought i told you to shut up,” he snaps before roughly grabbing your face and planting his lips on yours. the kiss is crude. it’s absolutely vulgar with the way it’s all tongue and teeth and saliva, but after a few seconds of uncertainty, you find yourself melting into it. this is wrong. you two are the best of friends, almost like brother and sister. and more than that, you love yeonjun, right? you’re supposed to be working on getting back together with him, aren’t you? but your reason starts to be sucked away as you feel his hands caress your body, leaving nothing but fire in their wake.

you don’t know how you got here, almost completely naked as you lay on your back while beomgyu continues attacking your lips. it’s blazing hot and you can’t help but feel your underwear becoming wet with every moan that escapes his mouth and consequently reverberates onto your tongue. as if he already knows the intricacies of your internal battle, one of his hands finds its way to your now soaking wet pussy and he uses his index and middle fingers to spread the slickness around. he swirls his fingers around your hole and just barely pushes one of them into the entrance. you gasp at the shallow intrusion and you can feel his notorious shit-eating grin pressed across your lips as he feels how tight you are. you’re ridiculously turned on and he knows it. he pauses his actions only to unzip his pants and yank them down to his knees. your eyes widen at what you can only describe as his huge appendage, all reddened and already leaking. you feel your cunt throbbing with even more need at the sight, but your last shred of reason still makes you hesitate.

“beomgyu, we can't… we're friends, and yeonjun is —”

“can’t you just let me make you feel good? god, you’re making this so difficult, but what the fuck else is new,” he growls. 

he's right. you are making things difficult. there's no way of salvaging your friendship after this, so what's the point in holding back now? you realize that while he may be absolutely unhinged, his feelings for you are real. do you reciprocate them? you don’t know yet, but the thought of him doting on another person the same way he dotes on you makes you feel uneasy. as for yeonjun? well, he deserves better than the cesspool of turbulent emotions that you currently find yourself in. 

“you still sure you don’t want me?” he asks cockily. you, with all of your pride, can only muster up a feeble shake of your head. he knew the answer before you gave it to him, but his condescending gaze shows you that your words have scratched a certain itch of his.

he rubs his hardened length against your folds and it’s all you can do to resist locking your ankles around his waist and pulling him into you, but something stops you. protection. you don’t even have to say it, because he knows you too well for your own good.

“let me fuck you raw,” he says breathily, just barely poking his length into your tight hole. “i know you need it, baby. just let me take care of you.” you’re silent for a moment before pinching out your next words.

“p-pull out?” he won’t because he knows you’ll be begging him for his cum when he’s done with you, and you already know he won’t, even when he nods and promises he will. you don't know why you even asked. 

the ache you feel to have him buried inside you is quickly replaced by the ache you feel once he begins to stretch you out. it’s a stinging, burning sort of pain, but that’s nothing in comparison to the pure pleasure you feel as his flared tip drags along your walls. he begins with thrusting shallowly, fucking you open like you’re a virgin, and you’re so tight while he’s so big, you might as well be. 

painfully slowly, he pushes each and every inch of himself into your gummy hole. he reaches places you didn’t even know existed and stretches you open so good all you have the brainpower to call the sensation is fullness. overwhelming fullness. when he finally sheathes himself in you completely, a strangled cry leaves both of your throats as you feel him throbbing inside of you and he, in turn, feels you pulsating around him. 

after you adjust, you expect him to start drilling into you with reckless abandon, but he does nothing of the sort. just watches you with a strange look on his face. 

“b-beomie? what are you doing?” you ask pathetically, head raising up from its place on the pillows to meet his wanton gaze.

“beg me for it.”

“beg for w—” your question is interrupted by a sharp smack on your sensitive pussy. 

“beg me for it. beg me to fuck you like a whore. i won’t tell you again,” he says menacingly. your bleary eyes are so confused, so stupid, and so, so cute, but he’s determined to use the last of his self-control to get you to feel even a fraction of the desperation he’s felt for years. well, even if you don’t, he’ll spend the whole night fucking you dumb until you do. but you’re so hungry for his dick, you don’t even realize that he’s bluffing.

finally, you understand what he’s asking of you, and you waste no time to comply. 

“n-need your cock, beomie. need you to make me f-feel good,” you say, trying to retain even a semblance of your dignity. this brings a mean smirk to his face, but he’s not done with you, yet.

“surely you can do better than that?” he taunts, rocking his hips ever so slightly so you can feel every inch of his length and girth teasingly hitting your cervix, but providing no relief. fuck your dignity. you need him.

“please! please, i need you! need your cock to fill me up!” you whine.

“mhmm, and?”

“need you to fuck me! need you to fill me up with your cum!” well, there goes your resolve to have him pull out. this seems to satisfy his sadistic desires.

“oh, my love. all you had to do was ask,” he says with a grin. and that’s when he starts. 

his hips meet yours in the most punishing way, and that’s what this is: a punishment for the way you’ve treated him all these years. you can feel it in the way that his fingernails dig into your skin and in the way that he mercilessly presses down on your tummy until all you can feel is pressure building up to something unknown.

“who else can fuck you like this? who else can split you open like this?” he asks as lewd squelches reverberate throughout the room. 

“n-nobody! only you, beomie!” you cry.

“that’s my good girl, such a good girl. baby just needs me to use her like a fucktoy, right?” and all you can do is whine and clench in carnal need as the poor springs of your bed squeak with every unforgiving thrust.

“oh, you like that, don’t you?” he snickers. “you like being my little whore. you’re just a toy for me, alright? free to use whenever i feel like it.” you nod in agreement and he lets out a chuckle as he pounds into you at an unimaginable speed, balls slapping your ass with every fiery thrust. each time he pumps into you, your pussy’s clamping down on him and sucking him in like that’s where he’s meant to be. and maybe it is. 

“god, i’m close,” he groans after pumping into you for what feels like hours, and you whimper like a bitch in heat. “honey, don’t worry,” he tuts. “i’ll fuck you every day, i’ll fill you with my cum so you can’t leave. not that you’ll want to after this. you’re made for me, made to be my cumdump whenever i want.” 

“y-yes!” you shriek, somehow liking the idea of being full of his cum forever and ever. 

“that’s my girl. baby just wants me to fuck her good. that’s all you needed, right? that’s why you’ve been such a brat. you just needed me to show you what it’s like to be fucked right,” he says, rolling your clit for good measure, which is enough to make you reach your high as it comes crashing down around you. beomgyu wasn’t lying when he said he was close, so when he feels you clenching around his big cock as if you’re milking him for all that he’s worth, you feel it twitching before hot bursts of cum paint your inner walls until you’re leaking white and seeing stars. he continues with slow, lazy pumps until he softens. you stay like that for an indeterminable amount of time, breathing raggedly while your bodies are overcome with thrums of delight. 

when he finally pulls out and lays down beside you, bodies slick with sheens of sweat, he pushes your hair back behind your ear and plants a kiss on your temple. shakily, he takes his hand and rubs it along your distended tummy, full of his cum. he lovingly strokes it with an awed smile on his face.

“such a good girl for me,” he repeats. “i can’t wait until you’re pregnant. you’ll have as many babies as i can give you, right?” and all you can do is nod deliriously. he smiles in satisfaction as you eagerly agree to his every nasty, perverted thought. “god, i love you so much. and you love me too, right? say it. say you love me.”

“i love you.” and you realize that you do.  this man is deranged, but he’s yours, and for better or for worse, you're his. especially now that you might very well be carrying his children. and even if you aren’t, you know he’ll make good on his promises to keep fucking you until you are. should you be glad that he effectively ruined every potential relationship for you? you were unsure before, but you realize that nobody has or ever will love you as much as he does, even if he has a demented way of showing it. well, it is what it is. there’s no way out after this.

notes pt. 2: i hope this goes over better after the editing!

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[wonderjanga]

Billy and Freddy along with Mary watches gacha reaction videos (if you don't know what that is your missing out). But they can only do it in the watch tower and stuff due to the lack of technology in Fawcett. This ideas been going around in my head for a while and I KNOW Freddy would love it.

Hal was having a normal day. The sun was shining, the Earth looked beautiful from the Watchtower. He wanted to go watch the game on one of the Watchtower’s gigantic and beautiful TVs.

GL: *on his merry way to one of the rec rooms, whistling a little tune*

Marvel and Junior: *occasional gasps*

GL: *thinking they’re watching a horror movie and decides he’ll just watch it with them until it’s over* “Hey guys-”

Marvel and Junior: *sitting right in front of the screen, staring like iPad babies and watching a Rivals react to Ayano Aishi vid*

GL: *stares for like a solid second* “What- What the fuck are y’all doing?”

Marvel: *pauses it* “Huh?” *looks back to Hal*

GL: “Why are you guys watching this baby content?”

Junior: *sounds offended* “It’s not baby stuff.”

GL: “Uh yeah. It is.”

Marvel: “No, it isn’t. Stop being a hater.”

GL: “Marvel, you’re a grown ass man. And Junior? You’re at least 14. Why are you watching this??”

Junior: “It’s entertaining.”

GL: “Entertaining. Really?”

Marvel: “Yeah! Come on.” *pats a spot next to him* “Watch it with us.”

GL: “Dude, no.”

Marvel and Junior: *share a look* “Watch it. Watch it. Watch it.” *chanting*

Hal eventually caved.

That’s how he found himself sitting on the floor with them, and watching a surprisingly entertaining “mha reacts to deku as kokichi video”. A couple minutes later, Mary came by with snacks and joined them.

Mary: “I brought some Cheetos and popcorn- wha? You guys started without me?!”

Marvel and Junior: “Sorry, Mary.” *in unison and in shame*

Mary: *sighs and just sits down with them* “Why’s Green Lantern here??

GL: “I just found the fact that a grown man finds this entertaining very interesting.” (He’s actually completely enthralled in these but he’s too embarrassed to admit it)

Mary: “Uh huh… sure.”

Hal’s a little ashamed to admit that they spent like two hours straight doing this until they transitioned into the GLMMs.

GL: “Wait, I don’t get it. Why does the Mom just not love her child?”

Marvel: *shrugs* “Cause she’s mean.”

A couple minutes later…

GL: “Wait, why did the dad die?!”

Mary: “For story progression!”

Like ten minutes later…

GL: “She’s a wolf-cat-angel-demon-unicorn hybrid…?”

Junior: “Yep, she’s special!”

GL: “HAH! Her bitch of a sister’s just a cat!”

Marvel, Mary, and Junior: *all just happy Hal’s invested*

After a couple GLMMs such as Bad Girls vs Gangsters, Emotionless Girl, and The CEO is my Boss, (shout out to everyone who watched these) they moved on to even more kiddy content. Such as Fnaf videos, but not just any… no no no, these ones

After the Fnaf thingy…

GL: “Damn.” *stands up* “My ass hurts from sitting on the ground for so long.”

Marvel: “Dang…” *pauses their next gacha vid* “So you’re out?”

GL: “Yup.” *stretches*

Mary: “It was nice having you Mr. Green Lantern Sir.”

Junior: “Yeah, thanks for letting us put you on.”

Marvel, Mary, and Junior: *same blinding smile*

Also, by the way, they were definitely watching GLMVs and singing along to “I’m a bad girlfriend” and “She’s crazy but she’s mine” and “Copycat” and “Queen.” All of which were and still are peak and I stand by that till this day.

[writtenbyan-aries]

since you said you want more fluff requests…

I feel like Matt or Chris would be the type of bf to play fight/fake wrestle their gf and then if they accidentally hurt her they’d way overreact about it and want to baby their gf the rest of the day, even if she wasn’t even that hurt 😅

I could picture this for either of them tbh but especially Chris since he’s so crazy and always jumping on his brothers like a damn monkey lol or how he smacks Nick/Matt and then immediately starts apologizing and asking for a hug 🤣🤣

∶ Summary: anon sums it up

∶ Warnings: swearing, minor injury, fluff

∶ Word Count: 1400

・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・

“Chris.” You move your phone out of view, watching as Chris continues to keep his focus on the screen in front of him. You sit up, “Babe. Chris. Hello?”

He doesn’t budge.

You look around, smirking when you see the pillow next to you. You grab it, slowly crawling forward and sitting up on your knees.

You bring the pillow back and gently hit him with him.

He snaps his head over, a smile on his face, “Did you just hit me with a pillow?” He pushes his headset off of one ear.

“Yeah.” You nod, “I’ve been-“ you hit him with the pillow again, “Trying to get your attention forever!”

He laughs as he pulls his headset from his head and sets it on his desk, “Sorry, I’ve been into-“

You cut him off with a pillow to the face, “Yeah yeah. Excuses.” You laugh as he stands up and he nods, “Okay, okay.”

He goes to walk away but quickly turns, ripping the pillow from your grasp and attacking you with it. Hit after hit with the soft rectangle, and all you could do was laugh.

“Pay backs a bitch, isn’t it.” He laughs, throwing the pillow and digging his fingers into your sides. Your laugh fills the room, desperate pleas for him to stop following, “N-no! Nono!” You laugh, “P-please I’m-I’m sorry!”

“Oh now you’re sorry?” Chris rolls on top of you, pinning your hands down by your head, “Gimme a kiss.”

You stare up at him and he sighs, “Fine, I guess I’ll just have to-“

You get your hand free, cutting him off with your fingers digging into his sides. He flops over, throwing his hands to try and get you to stop as he laughs loudly, “Cheap shot! Cheap shot!”

As you reach over to grab the pillow, Chris lifts his head and his forehead accidently connects with your lips. You sit back with a gasp, hand flying to press to your mouth.

“Oh my god!” Chris sits up, his hands on your arms, “I’m so sorry! I didn’t-I didn’t know you were reaching! I’m so sorry. Here let me see. Are you bleeding?”

You pull your hand away, licking your lips as you look at him.

His face is etched with worry as his eyes fixate on your lips to make sure you’re okay, “I don’t see any blood.” He gently pulls your lip down, “Sorry, I’m sorry.” He looks into your eyes, “Are you okay? Does that hurt?”

You shake your head, “No, no. I’m fine, babe. It just-“ you laugh slightly, “It just caught me off guard a little. I wasn’t expecting you to come up as I was reaching over.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I should have been more careful.” He pulls you into his chest, hugging you tight, “I’m sorry.”

“Chris.” You look up at him, “I’m fine. Really.” You reach up and rub his cheek as you lean back, “I’m good, it’s not your fault. We were roughhousing. We always know how that goes.”

He shakes his head, “Do you- I’m going to go get you a popcicle for your lip. Don’t move.”

Before you can say anything he’s gone, and back within a minute. He pushes the treat from the plastic wrapping and hands it to you, “That should help.”

You smile, nodding as you take it from him.

He sits down next to you, “I feel so bad.”

You can see his eyes looking at your lip every time you pull the popsicle away, “I told you, it’s okay. I’m good. Worst thing, I’ll get a fat lip from that thick ass skull of yours.”

He furrows his brows as he tries not to laugh, “I hurt you, I didn’t mean to.”

“I know you didn’t. That’s why I’m making jokes. I find it funny.” You lean in, “Gimme a kiss.” He smirks, shaking his head before gently pressing his lips to yours.

“Ow!” You yell, causing Chris to jump and you laugh, “I’m joking! I’m joking!”

“Don’t do that!” He groans, moving back onto the bed, “Come here.” You move back, laying back against his side, “Sorry.”

He presses a kiss to your head and points to the tv, “Pick a movie.”

Your eyes scan over the screen and you point, “That one. The one you’re on.” You watch as he presses play, without making a fuss like he normally does.

He presses another kiss to your head, “Do you need anything?” You purse your lips, “I’m kinda thirsty, but I can-“

Chris was up and out of bed, “I’ll get it.”

You knew Chris felt bad about hurting you, and even though you didn’t think it was a big deal to him, it was everything to him.

The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt you, even on accident.

He comes back with a few drinks and some snacks, “I forgot to ask what you wanted so I just brought you a shit ton of stuff back.” He laughs slightly, “Here.”

He hands you a drink and you take it, “You didn’t have to get all of that, but thank you.” You sit up and he sits down next to you, “Do you need anything else? Another pillow? The lights off? Another kiss?”

You smirk, tilting your head, “I’ll take another kiss.”

He smiles, leaning in to press his lips to yours, “Anything else?”

“I’m fine, baby. Thank you.”

A little bit later, when you’re out in the livingroom having dinner with Nick and Matt, you look around, “I don’t have a fork.” As you go to stand up, Chris grabs your hand, “I got it.”

You sit back down and Nick looks at you, “What’s his deal?”

“Yeah, he’s been the nicest I’ve ever seen him.” Matt laughs and you lean in, “Chris accidently headbutted me in the lip today, he feels bad about it.”

“He’s never that nice when he hits me in the face.” Nick scoffs, “Fucking ridiculous.”

You laugh and Chris walks back in, “Here, baby.”

“Thank you.” You smile and Matt looks at Chris, “It all makes sense now, Chris.”

“What makes sense?” He asks Matt, looking at him confused.

“I was wondering why she had a fat lip.” Matt laughs as Chris sighs, “Don’t joke about that. I genuinely didn’t mean to.” He looks at your lip and you shake your head, “He’s fucking with you, Chris. I’m fine, really.”

“You don’t wait on us hand and foot after you accidently hurt us.” Nick chimes in, “What’s up with that?”

Chris shakes his head, fighting back laughter, “When you grow tits and look like her.” He nods towards you, “Then maybe I’ll be nicer.”

Nicks jaw drops and Matt laughs, “Oh my god.”

You shake your head, “Okay. That-“ you lay your hand over your eyes, laughing as you replay what Chris just said, “Okay.” You sit up and Chris looks at you, “What? I’m just being honest.”

“I know.” You nod, “I know.”

Later that night, when you’re laying in bed, Chris lets out a sigh, “I do feel really bad for hurting you, accidental or not, I don’t like doing that.”

You roll over to face him, “Chris.” You press a kiss to his lips, “You have the sweetest soul I have ever seen. I don’t ever think you mean to hurt me on purpose.”

“So you’re not mad?”

“Not at all, accidents happen, and I know you didn’t want to do that, you showed that to me all day today.” You run your hand through his hair, “I’m okay. I promise.”

He nods, pulling you closer, “I just, love you so much, and seeing you hurt in anyway just doesn’t sit right with me.”

“I love you.” You kiss his cheek, “So much. Now.” You rest your hand on his cheek, “Get some sleep, stop worrying.”

・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・┈┈・

Thank you so much for reading! I love you so much! Catch you in the next one! 🖤

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

[cccakessslicemeee]

Thinking about Sklonda and being the police chief of Elmvile... Like death is such a casual thing in a world full of adventurers and crazy shit. I would love love love to see what a day in her life look liked.

I also think maybe she's died a couple times herself and it's just another Tuesday at work. Probably doesn't say a fucking word to her son because it's 1. Work and 2. Probably really fucking ugly sometimes

I also like to head canon she's died a couple times where shit got bad and it took longer to revivify her so she has a moment with Pok but doesn't know it's him because angles tend to glow super bright and he just defaults to generic angle because his wife does not need the baggage of meeting her dead husband in heaven

Maybe he uses a couple spare hopes and wishes to send her back after giving her a moment to collect her thoughts

Maybe it breaks something in Pok a little bit that every time she comes out of her daze after popping into the after life she's immediately worried for Riz and she was just smacked by get away vehicle going 90 down the highway and it turned her into paste

He can't really tell her anything but he sits by her. Maybe they share a smoke. She sees this glowy asshole enough to talk to him about shit for a moment and then it becomes something of a confessional because the angle isn't go back to the mortal plain to air her dirty laundry

Sometimes she bitches and complains other times she's just so stressed the fuck out she doesn't talk at all. He wants to hold her hand and tell her he misses her so much but he can't because that's so fucked up. The best he can give her is a hand on her shoulder and a temporary moment of rest. Maybe he tells her she does incredible work and she's such an asset to the mortal plain.

Maybe she talks about how much she misses her husband and how hard things have been without him. She worries she isn't enough because a kid should have more than one parent and she can't be a dad and a mom, she's nothing like Pok

Maybe it gets harder letting her leave

Maybe he tells her to quit this shit because she's getting older and she can't do this forever, is she even enjoying life?

Does it matter if she's not? She has enough reasons to stay put..she's good at this police bullshit...but god is she tired?

And then she switches careers and hasn't been back since. In a way Pok's glad but he misses her something terrible. It was nice to be able to offer a kind word and touch her shoulder but now she's buried herself in work and hardly visits his grave. She's doing well for herself and she should be happy with that.

He should be.

Damn it would be nice if it rained in heaven.

Also like besides the sad shit Sklonda would be one hell of a cop. Like I'm saying she would be a menace and that's cool as hell. Let's not forget this bitch is ruthless. Riz had to learn it from somewhere.

[cielob03]

[Art from July 2024] -> [My part of the AT] <- This is the part of the AT that Sol_1x1 made of my OC Lito x Alastor, PLEASE, ADMIRE, ADORE, LOVE, PRAISE, LICK, THIS AMAZING PIECE OF ART!! AAAHH!!! ✨

Sol_1x1 Social Networks: Twitter [X]: https://x.com/sol_1x1 Tumblr: https://sunlit-mess.tumblr.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/036MTSunny/

This person's art is BEAUTIFUL! If monochromatic grayscale art is your thing, sol_1x1 is your go-to person! Even if you're not interested, forget about it and go love their art! Or else 🔪��! (?

I won’t lie, so far, this is the AT I LOVE THE MOST (2025 and I still think the same), I LOVE how draw Alastor, I LOVE the shape of his hair, his face, his body, GOD, HIS EYES! Overall, I LOVE the face of this damn Bambi! D'x and Lito in this style IS SO BEAUTIFUL!! OH MY GOD! HAVE YOU SEEN IT?! ✨ For some strange reason, I love seeing the first panel where she's crying xD, I adore how Alastor's shadow pats her head, SO CUTE! Basically, I LOVE everything about this AT, I've licked the screen several times when I saw it and screamed like a crazy bitch.

Every time I see this, it makes me the happiest person in the world! I can't stop fangirling over it horribly! I'll die and make sure they bury me with this beautiful art! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SUCH AN AMAZING PIECE OF ART! 💙✨

-> Some Lore about Lito: Lito is a "good person" most of the time. She tries to be as kind, helpful, and selfless as she can, not out of the obligation to have a "good image" in front of everyone, but because she truly wants to do so, even in a place like Hell, unless of course, there's hostility from the other side, which only makes her take on a sarcastic and playful tone to annoy the other party. (If possible, she prefers not to fight physically).

HOWEVER, she is extremely sadistic with those sinners she considers the "worst scum". Lito knows that hurting them is wrong, no matter how horrible those people are, she knows that what she's doing isn’t right, even if it's something "normal" in Hell. Her morality still tells her it's wrong, and when she's done torturing them, she starts crying (she doesn't seek justice, she seeks revenge and to cause them pain). She doesn't cry because she regrets it, but because Lito doesn't want to be a bad person, and she doesn’t want anyone to find out her true nature. She tells herself: "Ah... I'm a bad person..." every time she finishes torturing them and cries, but she won’t stop because "someone" has to "clean" the area.

When Alastor discovers her, he finds her crying after she finished torturing someone. At this point, they are very good friends, but even knowing how sadistic Alastor is, she still feels that what she does is even worse, because Alastor kills them, while she keeps them alive to keep hurting them, and she’s not someone who lets go of her prey. Since they are immortal, the only way to be freed is for her to die...

[spideysbruh]

short n sweet

a/n- just pretend okay

~

liked by tchalamet, melissabarrera and 4,615,777 others

y/n please please please tonight!!

view all 87,716 comments

tryinyn DONT TELL ME HES IN THE MUSIC VIDEO OMFGGGGGG

florencepugh spicy!!

tchalamet best set ever all because of you

snoozeyn when timothee is nominated for an oscar for this >>>

timsgf it's a music video he can't get nominated. and it's a shitty one at that, he was the best part

snoozeyn aren't you like 60?

wallowsyn WAIT WAIT WAIT

@chalametupdates just tweeted- Timothée and Y/n behind the scenes of Y/ns new music video!

@ynscurtains replied- BEST MV EVERRR

@timmysgf replied- I wonder how he feels about his girlfriend sexualizing herself for streams

@horroryn replied- HE'S NOT GONNA DATE YOU STFU

liked by tchalamet, sabrinacarpenter and 6,177,388 others

y/n please please please!!! enjoy the video, bitches. the actor in this one is super sexy

view all 98,717 others

rachelzegler that actor is really good!

y/n ik I'm so glad he auditioned

tchalamet superrrrrr sexy

y/n wow full of yourself much?

tchalamet I was talking about you 😔

pleaseyn timmy as a crazy ass criminal is just too awesome

goodgracesyn "men suck" and whole time she's dating timmy LMAOO she's so real

liked by tchalamet, rachelzegler and 3,387,827 others

y/n short 'n' sweet is all yours tonight

view all 91,277 comments

tchalamet and you're all mine every night

mystyn I CLAIM COINCIDENCE ALREADY

ynsheadphones im so curious ab what the love songs ab timmy sound like

rachelzegler my favorite album ever

liked by y/n

timyn his comment 💀💀 so down bad

y/n just posted a story!

caption- damn maybe he should've released an album

liked by y/n, kidcudi and 6,716,773 others

tchalamet this beautiful girls album released today. bed chem is objectively my favorite, also juno.

view all 101,177 comments

supergraphicyn juno omg he's a freak

shortyn LISTEN TO GOOD GRACES AND LEARNNNNNN

y/n who's the cute guy in the white jacket- oh wait he's sitting next to me rn nvm LOL

tchalamet liked

daylightyn bed chem.. lucky girl

tchalamet just posted a story!

caption- date night 😍😍

liked by haileybieber, tchalamet, madisonbeer and 5,717,888 others

y/n so.. what's everyone's favorite ?

view all 103,287 comments

exesyn WHO MADE YOU WRITE DUMB AND POETIC

ynsdune BRO ITS SHAWN I SWEAR

tchalamet how does it feel to be this generations Shakespeare?

y/n liked

sabrinacarpenter I wish I made this wtf

y/n you've got it in you!!!

@companyyn just tweeted- WHOS THE CUTE BOY IN THE WHITE JACKET BITCH WHICH ONE

@beetleyn replied- also what fucking accent is she talking ab

@yn replied- idfk I needed a rhyme 🤷🏽‍♀️

@byeyn replied- HELLO!?!??! HEY GIRL

@infiniteyn replied- she's so fucking funny help

@laurieslaurence replied- he speaks french too so maybe that's what !!

@celebnews just tweeted- weeks after her new album released, Y/n L/n is seen happily with her boyfriend Timothée Chalamet. He was taking several pictures of her on a disposable camera. They stopped to say hi to fans and were apparently very kind and interactive.

@beliebyn replied- the way you started that scared the SHIT out of me omg never do that again celebnews

@comearoundyn replied- likely thing for them to do

@lovelyyn replied to @comearoundyn- what does your @ mean 😭😭😭😭

@modernyn replied- and we'll probably never see those pictures he took 💔💔

@mariasyn replied- ON TOP OF THE CHARTS AND LIVING HER BEST LIFE

liked by tchalamet, haileesteinfeld and 7,726,277 others

y/n to celebrate one month and all the love yall have given me, i wanted to release two other songs that i wrote after i finished the album. hope you enjoy!

view all 121,188 comments

povyn BUSY WOMAN IS POP PERFECTION

paulsoneandonly oh goddd here we go, more shitty music 🙄

sweetyn I'm still not over coincidence girl WHO would do that to you

timsgf slim pickings is a crazy song to write when your bf is timothée

shortnyn can you shut the fuck up and get out of her comments for ONCE

liked by tchalamet

ynslipgloss I DIDNT WANT YOUR BITCH ASS ANYWAY🗣🗣 🎶

liked by y/n, florencepugh and 5,727,827 others

tchalamet my girl is on top of the world

comments on this post have been limited

y/n not us being goofy 🤣🤣

florencepugh my bestest friends !!

liked by rachelzegler, tchalamet and 4,817,132 others

y/n i am so grateful i could cry 💕💕✨️

view all 87,727 comments

rachelzegler you deserve it all and more my lovely

tchalamet forever proud of you pretty girl

bearyn remember when she was excited over her getting 100k views on her video 🥺😭😭 and now she's getting MILLIONS

ynsucks all thanks to her boyfriend

fuxkyn is she serious w this shit, she uses timmy for likes???

amyyn he posts her all the time too, so now what?

liked by tchalamet and 7,276,277 others

y/n vmas 😳😳😳

comments on this post have been limited

tchalamet i love you w so much of my heart that none is left to protest

y/n are you shakespeare

tchalamet nah i just made it up right now

liked by tchalamet, yourfriend and 7,727,266 others

y/n if you think they're looking at you... they're looking at me. happy anniversary my love 🥰💕💕

view all 120,187 comments

rachelzegler IM DEADDDDD

tchalamet happy anniversary my angel girl

timmysgf rude asl

laurieslaurence istg its the same person behind these accounts

timsgf what no

ynswaterbottle LMAOOOOOOOOO

lightupyn her old lyrics 🥺🥺😭😭

liked by y/n, zendaya and 8,277,265 others

tchalamet i ❤️ my talented girlfriend

view all 142,177 comments

horroryn HE SAID FUCK ALL YOU HATERSSSS AHHH YALL MAD

y/n why not uponeth me?

tchalamet liked

bedchemyn BYEEEE

tomholland2013 we need a double date soon!

modernyn MY PARENTSS

y/n I love you my darling boy

*

[jbsforever]

i'm having a bit of a rough week and just remembered i wrote this silly little drabble some months ago for the Faster Than The Batmobile Zine that the wonderful @babblingbookends put on. i forgot to post it, so here it is for anyone who might like to read <3

- - -

Jason once tried to kill Tim (“kill” being a relative term, honestly), but now he’s pulling Tim out of the frozen lake he just fell through, so Tim thinks maybe they’re even and Bruce can finally stop sulking about it. 

“Shit, shit, shit,” Jason says, grabbing at him. 

There’s really not much Tim can do. He’s numb all over and shivering like crazy and he’s trying to preserve whatever heat he has left inside him, which basically means forcing Jason to haul him all the way out of the water on his own, without any help. 

Tim would apologize, but he’s maybe still a little bitter about the whole Jason-trying-to-kill-him thing too. And anyway, karma’s a bitch. Or, well, karma’s a cabin in the snowy woods where Bruce forced them all on a “holiday vacation” because “we’re a family and families vacation in the woods in the dead of winter,” but whatever. 

“God, you’re such an idiot,” Jason says as he slides out of his jacket and wraps it around Tim. “Who the hell doesn’t test ice before they step on it?”

“Hockey players,” Tim says, shaking all over. “Figure s-skaters.”

“They would if they were skating on a frozen lake,” Jason says, yanking Tim up. He has to take most of Tim’s weight, and Tim doesn’t feel that bad about it considering Jason keeps muttering, “Fucking moron,” and, “God damn Bruce Wayne and his charity cases,” all the way back to the cabin.

“Can you s-stop talking?” Tim begs. “I’m miserable enough already.” 

“Fuck you,” Jason says, but he keeps a hold of Tim until he can dump him onto the living room couch and then he races off to get blankets, leaving Tim to fumble with his soaked clothes. Tim’s made exactly zero progress when Jason returns a second later, so Jason does it himself, working fast through all his layers until he’s stripped down to his boxers and then wrapped in blanket after blanket. 

“I can’t f-feel my toes,” Tim says weakly. 

“It’s all right,” Jason says, more gentle than he ever is. “We’ll get you warmed up. Just hang on.” He calls for Bruce while he shoves a pair of dry socks over Tim's feet, and then calls for Dick when Bruce takes longer than a second to appear. 

“Hang on,” he says again, sitting next to Tim and tightening all the blankets. “You’re gonna be fine.”

Tim nods. He’s pretty sure it just blends in with the rest of his trembling. “Good chance to k-kill me, if you’re still looking.” 

Jason rolls his eyes. “Maybe next time,” he says, and pulls Tim close to warm him up. “Hypothermia is too boring.”

“Sure, y-yeah,” Tim agrees. “Real boring. Don’t recommend.” 

“Well, hopefully now you’ll remember to test the ice,” Jason says, like an asshole. Tim would push him away if he didn’t desperately need his body heat.

“I liked it more w-when you hated me,” he complains, and Jason just pulls him closer, laughing. 

“Me too.”

[evergreen-endo]

you are literally crazy if you thought i wasn't gonna write this for my pookiepies too. + some extras.

18+ minors dni. perverted jack off/cum analysis ft. takiishi chika, endo yamato, kanon banjo, hiragi toma. pt. 1 here.

takiishi has such a pretty cock. long and tanned and veiny. a hard dick is such an inconvenience to him though. doesn’t really jack off with the intention of self pleasure, just taking care of business. it does always make him feel much better though. he just doesn’t do it that frequently! when he does, he’s pretty quick because he knows what he likes and how to cum as fast as possible. another one that prefers to stand so he can cum into something; like a sink, the shower, whatever. gets really breathy when he’s close. soft grunts and groans as he’s cumming. literally like…squeezes the cum out of the tip of his cock. can i say something? i’m going to say something. and listen. i love this man, i really do. but his cum is foul. all he eats is junk. i really do not think he ever drinks water. it is so, so thick. thickest of all the windbreaker men. and i’m not going to lie to you, it’s the kind that is like super gloopy, and sticky, and tinged more of a creamy yellowish color. it’s a bitch to clean up. and he cums a lot, and has so much stamina. 

endo is so slutty with it. leaks so much precum. noisy as all hell, whines and whimpers and moans and gasps. throws his head back a lot, rolls his eyes back into his skull, thrashes around and bucks his hips. edges himself sometimes but he’s just a bit too impatient to do it properly. if he wants to cum, he wants to cum now. the day he discovered his nipples were sensitive he nearly exploded on the spot. gathers up some precum on his fingers so he can tweak and pinch at them while he works himself with his other hand. talks dirty like he’s not alone. so good, so so so good. just like that, yeahyeahyeah. fuck you’re gonna make me cum. gonna make a mess. and he does. strokes so much faster when he’s about to cum because he gets desperate so even if he were to shoot beautiful perfect ropes clean onto his abs, it ends up flying all over the place from the force of jerking his dick around. so out of breath and panting and gulping when he finishes because his mouth is so dry from having it hung open while he plays with himself. also! gets morning wood real real bad. humps his pillows, humps the bed, muffles his moans biting into the sheets, really likes being able to move his hips and thrust into something. again, he makes a huge mess. sweat everywhere he lays from exertion, spit soaked sheets and drool, and of course, cum all over his abdomen and the pillowcases. 

kanon banjo is a SLUT. WHORE. and a SKANK. (affectionate). ahem. let me elaborate. he is so depraved. bites his lip till he damn near starts bleeding, the type to get really delirious and giggle and smile with pleasure. realllyyyy likes cock rings. he gets so sensitive and whiny and whimpery, twitches like crazy. edges himself till his tip is bright red. pinches the fuck out of his nipples like can someone get him some clamps. does a lot of breath play! holds his breath for as long as he can, hangs his head off the edge of his bed…genuinely might be stupid enough to try autoerotic asphyxiation but i’m not gonna get into it LOL. anyway. cums hard every time. his cock is so restricted the cum spurts out in forks, like three separate streams shooting out of his tip….n then it sets off his cum kink and he’s gotta scoop it all up and use it as lube for a second round.

hiragi the man that you are. jacking off is the stress release/medicine he can only get in private! gets home from something stressful and beelines to the bathroom to unzip his pants and whip it out. i mean, he strains against those leather pants all day, giving it some fresh air feels good in and of itself. not taking his pants off fully puts a little pressure on his balls and he likes that. sighs so heavy when he wraps his hand around it. def the type to end up fucking into his hand, hips moving more than his arm is. so much deep sighing. his tummy clenches up really pretty when he’s close, and when he finally cums, he lets out lots of sounds that seem really frustrated; breathy, choked groans and strained grunts. i think his cum is a really good consistency, not too thick or thin, but the actual streams seem thin because it shoots so far! he kinda likes the sound it makes when it drips onto the floor. will purposefully move a towel or rug out of the way so he can hear it go plap onto the tiles.

[justwhisperingfantasies]

Girl At The Rock Show Part 6 -smut warning 18+

Characters: Jensen Ackles (xreader). Mac(o.c), Jared Padalecki.

Warnings: SMUT, Oral fem receiving, Oral Male receiving, Fingering, P.I.V. Unprotected sex (wrap it y'all), Language Drinking, Fluff, lmk if I forgot any

Summary: Getting dragged to that live show might have been the best thing that ever happened to you. Now you are falling. Falling fast.

Word count: 7,193 words (sorry couldn't stop)

A/N: So there's a lot bit of smut. I'm still new at it. Be nice Thank you all for the kind words and the inspiration to keep writing.🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 Hope y'all enjoy it. 💗

Please don't copy my work and post it elsewhere.

Like, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated 💗

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

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{} Reader’s P.O.V {}

“I’m not an expert, but you sound ready for this interview to me, sweetheart.” He looked at you with a smile as he slowed and pulled up to the gate. He leaned out to put the code in.

“I think I am. Just hopefully they like me.”

“And who wouldn’t,” he winked at you, making you smile.

You looked forward and your jaw dropped. “Holy shit Ackles, Its huge.” He smirked. “Perv.” You teased him, making him laugh. “So do you have a crazy rich person collection?”

“Is that really a thing?” He asked driving through the gate.

“I guess so.” You shrugged your shoulders. “Like art, watches, Oh Nicholas Cage has a real dinosaur skull in his backyard.”

“That would be kinda cool.”

“Freaking celebrities,” you said smiling at him. and he laughed as he lifted his head.

He whipped around the cul-de-sac, so the house was on your side. Damn this house was nice. You got out and noticed the garage. “Um 7 doors?”

“Alright. So maybe I have one crazy collection. There are 2 empty spots though, so not as bad.”

“Can I see them?”  you bit your lip.

“Absolutely.” He held his hand out, you walked over to him and laced your fingers in his. You walked over to the door. In the first spot was Baby. “you’ve met Baby.” He said as you walked past her. “Second spot is usually where the truck goes.” He said leading you through the empty space

“A Porche 911 GT3 RS?!!” You quicken your steps and hesitate to touch it. “You have a Porche 911 GT3 RS and you picked me up in a ’67 Impala?”

He chuckled. “Shhh You’ll hurt her feelings.” He mocked you

“So does the almost girlfriend get to driver her?”

He grimaced as he inhaled sharply. “I don’t know about that one.”

 Your eyes went wide “But I let you drive my Beau.”

“You got to drive Baby.”

“Well, I didn’t know I had options.” You said frantically with wild eyes. He laughed “Not fair.” You said and then pouted.

“I’ll think about it.” he teased.

You sighed. “I guess that’s better than a no.” He smiled “Bye Porche. Don’t worry I’ll drive you one day.” He chuckled. The next car was a 1968 Chevrolet Camaro. “Hey, look its Beau’s dad.”

“Quite the car enthusiast huh?” he asked.

“Got it from my pops. That man loved cars.”

He smiled “Mine too!”

The last car was a 1966 Ford Shelby Mustang GT350. “Oh, she’s pretty.”

“She was my first after baby.”

“Your crazy rich person collection is very nice.”  He grinned. “And have I told you that you look very handsome today Mr. Ackles.”

“Still thinkin about it.”

“Damnit.” You said making him laughed.

As you walked to the house you pointed at a flat part of his lawn. “Your dinosaur skull would look great right there.”

He smiled. “Or I could buy another Porsche.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “What? Too soon?”

“Jerk.” You raised your eyebrows and waited.

“Are you really trying to get me to call you a bitch, so you can guilt trip your way into the Porsche”

You gasped. “I would never!” you smirked. He chuckled and shook his head.

 The front porch was big with a nice seating area. He pulled his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door. He pushed the door open and gestured for you to go. You walked in a nice sized area. Stairs going up on the left. To the right were couches on either side of the coffee table with pops of blue and grey from the throw pillows.  He took his suit jacket off and hung it on the back of the couch that was closet. “So, this is the seating area I guess you’d call it.” He started toward the doorway on the other side of the room. “You want a beer?” he turned around to you kicking off your boots and sliding them out of the way.  “Sweetheart you don’t hav.”

You put your hand up “I don’t need the ghost of my mother coming to yell at me for wearing shoes in your house.” you said with a smile. He chuckled. “But I will take that beer.”  You followed him into a gorgeous kitchen. A big bar and a nice island. All shiny stainless-steel appliances. You hopped on one of the barstools. You saw a picture of him and his family on the fridge. “Aw you guys are cute.”

He smiled as he closed the fridge. “That’s my daddy, Alan. That’s my mama, Donna. My brother, Joshua. My sister, Mackenzie. And me. That was last Christmas.”

“You guys close?”

“Super. They all still live in Texas, so we get together as much as we can.”

“Adorable.”

He smiled as he cracked open the can he got out of the fridge.  “Here.” He slid it to you. “Try that.”

You narrowed your eyes to him as you lifted the beer. You looked down at the can. “Family business beer company. Cosmic cowboy.” You lifted your brows and looked at him.

“Just try it.” You took a drink. It was pretty damn good. You could taste a layer of pine with notes of pineapple and grapefruit. You don’t know how mixed together perfectly, but it did “Well?”

“Eh.” He gave you an unamused look. “Just kidding Ackles. It’s pretty good.” He narrowed his eyes “I mean oh my god. This is the best beer I’ve ever tasted in my life.” You said with thick sarcasm

He laughed. “I know whoever thought up that recipe is a freaking genius, right?!”

You chuckled. “I don’t know if I’d go that far, but it’s a damn good beer.”

He shook his head with a smile and opened another can. You spun around to another seating area although this one was much bigger. You hopped off the barstool and took a couple steps. There was a huge screen hanging on the wall in front of a colossal sectional with a matching ottoman. you turned back to him. “Really a projector?” he leaned against the bar.

“That thing is badass. I just had it put in a bout a month ago. I can not wait to watch the cowboys on it. “

“Yea. Hopefully they will do better this year than last year.” He raised an eyebrow. “You gotta admit they kind of sucked last year.” 

His face went hard. “Please tell me your joking.”

“Oh, is the cowgirls a soft spot?” you teased.

He hid a smile and narrowed his eyes at you. He stepped towards you. You started to take a step back, but he lunged at you. With a small yelp he tossed you over his shoulder “Really?! This hardly seems necessary Jensen.” He started humming as he walked into the tv area, ignoring your whines. “Seriously? I’m in a freaking dress here. This is not appropriate.” He started singing  still ignoring you.” You put your elbows in his back and lifted your head. “Can you at least tell me if my ass is hanging out?” he continued singing.  You took a deep breath and exhaled through your lips letting them vibrate. You felt him chuckle. “Those slack looks good on you Mr. Ackles.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere.”  He said stopping in front of the sectional. “Are you done running your mouth?” he said in a playful tone.

“I can’t make any promises.”

“Ok, we can finish the tour like this.” He started spinning in circles.  “So, this is the living room.”

“Ok. Stop. You win. The cowboys rule.”

 He laughed and bent over sitting you on the sofa. You caught his face with your hands before he could stand back up. A fire woke in your core when his needy lips captured yours and your hands slid up into his hair. He let out a growl as you leaned onto the couch pulling him with you, he put his hands on the back of the couch to catch his weight. Your tongue danced in anticipation as you parted your lips and waited. The fire blazed brightly at the taste of his skillful tongue. You imagined how his tongue would feel in other places and your core pulsed.

You sat up, with your mouth still on his. You put your hand on his chest and gently pushed him back as you stood up. He looked at you with questioning eyes. You smirked and gently shoved him down on the couch. He looked up at you with those shiny emeralds, You smiled as you raised your right knee and placed it on the couch beside him resting your hand on the back of the couch and slowly started to stretch the other over him. He let out another growl and grabbed your hips and pulled you down in top of him. A moan escaped your lips as his clothed shafted brushed against your thin panties. His finger tangled in your hair and pulled your mouth back down to his. His tongue instantly back on yours. Again you imagine how good his tongue would feel between your legs, your hips start to rock. He moaned and you could feel his hardness twitch through the clothes.

You gripped his hair with your fingers and pulled his head back exposing his neck. You trailed kisses up and down his neck, His breath quickened as you started to rock faster. Pants and moans filled the large room.

“Mmmm Baby…” he moaned. “You sure about this?”

You brought your lips up to his ear. You felt him twitch again as you whispered yes and took his earlobe in your lips. Lightly tugging on it with your teeth.

He let out a loud growl and lifted you as he stood, your legs wrapped around his waist. He kissed you and then bounced you moving his hands to your ass, then he walked through the kitchen and into the sitting area. You kissed up his neck as you lifted yourself brushing against his hardness. He groaned and suddenly your back was against the wall. His mouth devouring yours. He nuzzled his nose against yours then skimmed it across your cheek and his lips find your earlobe as he starts to roll his hips “Jensen.” you whimpered, you core pulsating with desire. You can feel the smile against your ear. He tightens his grip on your ass and spins as he starts up the stairs. You lifted to kiss his neck again.

“Sweetheart you do it again we ain’t making it to the bedroom.” He said making you giggle.

He nudged the door open with his foot and laid you down on the bed. He stepped back and flipped on the light on. A smile spread across his face as he looked you up and down, you couldn’t help but smile back. Your arms wrapped around him as he crawled on top of you, he let out a moan as he dipped his hips. Putting his lips back on yours he slid his hand up your thigh leaving a trail of goosebumps. The fire flowed through your veins when he reached your clit. You let out a moan of his name as he started circling it through your panties. His fingers dipped down, as he pushed your panties to the side. He let out a groan once he felt how wet you were for him. The fire rushes through your veins again as he slides his finger into your entrance. He moaned as you bucked your hips making his finger go deeper.  He trailed kisses down your neck as he slid a second finger into you. He started pumping his fingers and pulled your already low dress down exposing your breast. You let out a moan as he flicked your nipple with his tongue. You fill the room with moans and heavy pants. As he takes your nipple into his mouth swirling his tongue around it and speeds up the pumping of his fingers.

“Jen, Jensen.” you moan loud as you fell the knot in your stomach tighten.

“You gonna come on my fingers (y/n)?” he pumps his fingers harder and starts circling your clit with his thumb. “Mmm come for me.” he curled his fingers and found you g-spot and the knot bursts making you moan out his name again, pure bliss crashing over your body. You quivered as he slowed his fingers, helping you ride out your high. He kissed your lips as he slid his fingers out, He sat up and licked your juices off them. “mmmm”

He hooked his fingers under your panties, and you lifted giving him permission. He stood up as he slides them off your feet. Gazing in your eyes his finger works the buttons on his shirt. You lick your lips leaving the bottom one in your teeth, God he was so sexy. He finished the last button, and the shirt dangled open giving you a peek at his chiseled chest and ab lines. You inhaled deeply as you drank the view in. Your eyebrow raised as he unbuckled his belt with one hand and slid it off in one quick motion throwing it across the room. He hovered over your dripping core, inhaling your sweet scent. He looked up at you with a devilish smile and wrapped his arms around your thighs.  Spreading them as he pulled your ass to the edge of the bed. He lifted your knees leaving kisses down your inner thigh and he knelt on his knees. Your walls clenched when you felt his hot breath on your dripping lips. A loud moan pulled from your lungs as he dives in lapping up your sweet juices.

“Jensen” you cry out as he swirls his togue around your clit. He moaned at the sound of his name and kept going keeping the same pace. Your fingers twisted in his hair when he put his fingers back inside you and you praised him with another moan of his name. The knot in your stomach tightened as he curled his fingers and found that sweet spot once more. You tugged at his hair as he pumps his finger faster. You start to roll your hips, and he flattened his tongue against your swollen clit letting you set the pace you want. “Babe, I’m gonna.” You cry out as you fell the knot in your stomach about to burst again.

He shoved his fingers deeper. “Mmmm come on baby” Your face scrunched as you reached your climax. Your soaked pussy clenching around his fingers. Heavy pants filled the room as he helped you ride out the high for the second time. He crawled back on top of you, a huge grin on his and his beard glistening from your cum. He wiped his mouth on his shirt and then kissed you. He lifted off you and unbuckled the belt around your waist. you sat up and lifted your arms, he slid the dress over your head and tossed it. You ran your hands up his chest and caught his shirt and continued sliding until his shoulders were bare. He jiggled his arms, and it dropped to the floor. He stood up and pulled down his slack and boxers unleashing he thick throbbing cock. He stroked his shaft as he looked at your naked body. He let out a moan as your hand slid down to your clit and you started pleasuring yourself.  

He smirked and crawled back on top of you. He kissed your lips and wrapped his arms under you. Lifting you again he walked on his knees until your head was at the pillows.

“(y/n) you 100% sure?”

You reached down and took his cock into your fingertips. He let out a moan as you slid his tip up and down your slick. You moaned together as you put the tip in your entrance and bucked your hips, making him slide into you. “Fuck.” Jensen whispered as he dipped his hip and buried himself further into you. He smiled and then kissed you as he waited for you to adjust to his size. You bucked your hips letting him know you were ready. He brought his hips back, making you moan his name again as he pushed back in. He answered you with a groan. He rested his forehead against you as he quickened his pace. You raked your nails across his back, and he lifted onto his elbows making his cock go deeper inside of you. Your walls pulsed at his husky moan of your name. Heavy pants coming from both of you as he pumped into your harder. You moaned his name as you felt the knot in your stomach tightening. You breathe hitched as you neared your climax. “Baby don’t stop.” Your walls tightened around him. “Right there.”

“Come on (y/n). I wanna feel you come again.” The knot bursts once more and the bliss crashes over you again. He moaned loudly at the feeling of your walls clenching him.  Jensen buried his face in the nook of your neck as he let out a loud groan and pulled out. You bit you lip as you felt his warm cum spread on your stomach. He raised his head after he caught his breath and kissed your cheek then your lips. You smiled as he did his cute nose nuzzle. He kissed your lips again. He tried to get up, but you pulled him back down to kiss him. He kissed you and tried to get back up, but you didn’t release your hold. He chuckled. “Sweetheart, I gotta get you cleaned up.” 

“One more.” He chuckled and kissed you one more time. You let him up. You laid as still as you could and sucked your belly. Trying to keep it from running onto the bed. You heard the water turn on and then off. He can back in with warm wet wash cloth in one hand and a towel in the other. You jumped at the jolt from your warm sensation on your sensitive clit.

“Sorry.” He said with a grimace.

“It’s ok.” You watched with admiration and a smile as he made sure he got all the sticky substances off your skin. After he was done, he threw the linens toward the bathroom and walked over to his dresser. He got out a white shirt “Do you want boxers, gym shorts, or sweatpants?”

“Boxers are fine.” He took a pair out and handed the clothes to you. “Thank you.” sitting up.

He kissed your lips. “(y/n) you don’t have to thank me for taking care of you.”

“Well, I did, and I will. Get used to it Ackles.” He chuckled. He kissed you again and then walked back over to the dresser. He slid on a pair of boxers and started gathering up the clothes on the floor while you got dressed.

He came back in and laid down on his back beside you. raising his arm and putting it under his head. “I think next time we should leave your boots on.” You laughed and laid on your back beside him. He had his eyes closed. He brought his arm down around you and pulled you closer to him. You laid your head on his chest with already heavy eyelids. He kissed the top of your head. “So, I thought it over.”

“About the Porche?”

He chuckled. “Mmhm.”

“Good or bad?”

“Maybe both?”

“How? It’s either a yes which is good and the right choice. Or its no and I will cry.”

He chuckled again. “Well, there’s a condition...” you noticed his heartbeat start to race.

“Yes. Whatever it is yes.”

“Ya wanna hear what you’re signing up for first?”

“Sure.”

“I want that almost word to go away….”

“What almost.” Your heart jumped in your throat when you realized what he was saying. “You don’t think it’s too soon?”

“Do you think it’s too soon?”

“I think other people will.”

“Fuck ‘em.” You chuckled. “I knew as soon as I saw you at the bar.”

“Oh, whatever Ackles.”

“I’m serious.” He brought his hand up and laced his fingers through yours. “I know what I want, if you no ther.”

“When did I say that?”

“I’m just sayin’ darlin’.”

You raised your head and looked at him. He opened his eyes. “You sure you want plain ol’ boring me?”

“Baby, you are far from plain and boring.”

You smiled. “Ok.”

“Ok?” the corners of his mouth turned up.

“Yes Jensen.”  A smile spread across his face exposing almost all his teeth. He grabbed you and pulled your face up to him. He kissed you passionately and then his smile returned.

You put your head back on his chest and he started humming. You took a deep breath and let it out. He started to run his fingers through your hair, and you could feel yourself dozing.

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{} Jensen’s P.O.V {}

He woke up before his alarm went off. She was still asleep in his arms. His heart filled with joy as he replayed last night in his head.

“What time is it Ackles?” she whispered

“How’d you know I was awake?”

“I can feel your eyes on me.”

He chuckled and grabbed his phone.  “It’s 4:30”

“And how far away from my house am I?”

“About half an hour.” She sighed.

“30 more minutes.” She pleaded as she nuzzled in his chest. He smiled and rolled on his side wrapping his arm around her tightly. He felt her drift back to sleep. Alright Jensen time to be a good boyfriend. He smiled at the thought.

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{} Reader’s P.O.V {}

You woke up in a cold empty bed. Really? You thought disappointed, but then you smelled it. The cold air gave you goosebumps as you got out of his bed. You dipped into the closet then headed down the stairs.

“Good morning Mr. Ackles.” You said walking into the kitchen.

“Dang it. I was trying to surprise you. It’s not even 5 yet.” he said as he flipped the bacon. You walked over and kissed him on the cheek. And turned toward the coffee maker. “Hey one more.” He stuck his cheek out in your direction. He turned his head, so you were kissing his lips. “Good morning.” He said with a smile. “That’s a really nice hoodie you got there.”

“Get used to it Ackles, girlfriend gets access to any and all hoodies.” You said grabbing one of the mugs he had out and pouring coffee.

He chuckled. “Oh really? Sugar’s there he pointed and creams in the fridge.”

“Hey, I don’t make the rules.” You said, opening the fridge and grabbing the creamer.  He took the rest of the bacon out of the pan, putting it on a rack with a try underneath so the grease could drip off. You stepped in front of him to grab a piece and his arms wrapped around you. You ate a couple more pieces of bacon and feed him bites here and there. “You comin’ with me to get your truck?”

“Yea Mac probably wants it out of the driveway.”

“Are you kidding? She probably already posted pictures with it.” he chuckled. He leaned back on the bar. “You full babes?” you asked.

“Yea. I was snacking with making it.”

You turned around and walked over to him. wrapping your arms around his neck, his went around your waist. “Thank you for breakfast,” you pulled his face to yours and nuzzled his nose.

“Any time sweetheart.” He said with a smile

You pulled up your gate and leaned out to punch in the code. “You alright over there?” you said as he adjusted his sweats.

“You driving a stick is pretty hot, not gonna lie.” You giggled and pulled through the gate.

You pulled up in the driveway and pulled the e-break. You sighed and got out. You waited for him in front of your car. “You know she’s gonna have a million questions, right?”

“Bring ‘em on” he said with a smile. “Are you gonna tell her about your new boyfriend.”

“Ha old news. Her and Jared swore up and down yesterday you were already my boyfriend.” He wrapped his arms around your shoulders as you walked to the front door.

“Well good morning.” Mac yelled from the kitchen.

“Morning.” You said walking into the kitchen. Mac was standing at the counter.

“Oh. My. God.” She said “getting a look at your outfit. “I want every dirty little detail. I bet he is freaking.” You smiled and your cheeks got warm. “Like how huge are talking? Oh, I bet he gives a mean dic.

“Mornin’ Mac.” Jensen said as he walked through the doorway

“Hey Jensen.” she said embarrassed. He chuckled.

“How many pictures did you take with the truck?” you asked her as she handed you a cup of coffee.

“None.” She stuck her tongue out at you. “Coffee Jensen?”

“Sure, just black is fine.”

“So how was dinner?” she asked, handing him his coffee.

“It was amazing.

“And after dinner?’

“Even more so.”

She looked over at the clock. “Shit I gotta go. Good luck today! Even though you don’t need it.” She blew you a kiss, “Jensen always nice to see you.” she grabbed her purse. Tonight. It starts! Love you,”

“Bye Mac.” He said.

“Bye love you.” you told her.

Jensen turned to you. “So. What starts tonight?”

You raised your brows. “Take a guess.”

His eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Yep. I gotta get in the shower.”

“Finally!!” he yelled making you laugh.

You wrapped a towel around you as you stepped out of the shower. You walked through the doorway to Jensen laying on your bed. You smiled.

“Ya know what I don’t get.”

“What’s that doll face?”

“Why do they put up with this bitch? If nobody in the office likes her why not kick her to the curb?”

“Because it a reality TV show. Gotta have some drama.”

“And all these girls do is run behind each other’s back sayin she said this and she said that.” He looked over to you smirking at him “what?”

“You are totally into this show.”

“I am not.”

“Ok Ackles. Whatever you say.” Said with a chuckle as you grabbed panties and a bra out of your dresser.

He licked his lips eyeing you. “so you gonna drop that towel or…”

“Are you gonna turn your head?”

“Nope. Get used to it sweetheart. Boyfriend gets access to any and all naked shots.” You narrowed your eyes at him “hey I don’t make the rules.” He smirked raising an eyebrow.

His phone started to ring. He put his hand over the back camera and answered it. “Hey buddy what’s up? How’s Odette?”

She’s asleep in the back seat. I just dropped the boys off at school.”

“Really Jensen?!” You gestured at your nakedness.

“Yea like I’d really show him. I love him, but not that much.” Jensen chuckled. “Is she feeling any better?”

“Not really. She keeps saying he ear hurts. He fever did break last night. You want me to let you go?” He noticed Jensen not paying attention.

“I’m listening to you. Her ear hurts and he fever broke last night.” He didn’t look away from you as you out your bra and panties on.

“What are you watching?”

“(y/n) is getting ready for her interview.” You stepped into your skirt and found a nice top in your closet. You ran into Mac’s room to grab the shoes she said you could borrow.

“Oh, so we are changing in front of each other now?”

Jensen looked at the phone and gave Jared a shy smile. Jared raised his eyebrows. “What time is her interview?”

“8:30.”

You looked at your watch as you walked back into your room. It was 7:35 “ I have to leave in 10 mins.”

“It only takes 20 minutes to get there.”

“I want to be early.”

“25 minutes earlier?”

“There could be traffic or a wreck or I could get lost. There are many things that could go wrong and knowing my luck will go wrong. Better to be prepared Ackles.” Your walked back into your bathroom twisting you hair into a classy bun .

“Yea Ackles. Jeez.” Jared chimed in “Hey My mama said she would watch Odette for a while if you wanna get a coffee before you leave.”

“Always down for coffee with Padalecki.” Text me when you get back in town and we’ll meet up.”

“Sounds good.  Good luck (y/n)!!

“Thanks Jared.” You yelled from the bathroom.

“Love you. Jay.”

“Love you more.” He hung up

“You two are adorable.”

“Shush.” He teased.

You took a deep breath and headed for the door. Jensen followed

Stopping at the driveway you turned to him with your lips out. He chuckled and kissed you.

“Good luck.” Another peck. “Not that.” Another. “You need it.” And another. “Call me after?” you nodded and he kissed putting his hand on your cheek this time.

“Bye Mr. Ackles.” You said with a smile as both of you walked to your driver’s doors.

He chuckled again “Bye baby.”

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{} Jensen’s P.O.V {}

Jensen was rinsing the shampoo out of his hair when he heard his phone ring he grabbed it off the sink  “Hey Padalecki.”

“What’s up man?” Jared asked.

“Nothin’ finishing my shower.”

“Oh, do you have company in that shower?”

“Funny. You know she’s at her interview.”

Jared laughed. “Would it be easier for me to come there?”

“Well depends. Where you at?”

“Coming back in on 275.”

“Yeah, just come here and we can take one car.”

“Alright I’ll be there in a minute.”

“K.” Jensen replied and Jared ended the call.

“Yo.” Jensen heard Jared yell.

“Bedroom.” Jensen yelled back,

“Ackles!”

“What’s up man?”

“I’m more interested in what’s up with you.”

Jensen chuckled. “So, we made it official.”

“Oh yeah?” Jensen nodded with a grin. “Not surprising.” Jared walked over to the dresser and sat on top of it. Jensen grinned. “Was it before or after?” he asked. Jensen furrowed his brow. “Jensen, I have known you for a very long time. You think I don’t know what’s behind that grin? Why do you think I’m sitting here?”

“Shut up.” Jensen said with pink cheeks.

Jare smiled .  “So, she didn’t think it was too soon?”

“She mentioned it, but she said she didn’t think so. She was worried other people would think so.”

“Fuck ‘em.”

“That’s exactly what I said.”

Jared bounced up and down. “I’m so excited and happy for you dude.”

“Please don’t break my dresser. You don’t need to replace anything else in this house.”

“I haven’t broken that much of your stuff.” As he hopped down.

Jensen raised his eyebrows. “You wanna go over the list?” he asked slipping on his boots.

“No.  I wanna hear more about your girlfriend.” Jared teased as they walked out of the room. Jensen rolled his eyes “In all seriousness though I am really happy for you.  She seems like a good catch. “

“Thanks man. I think so.”  He said walking grabbing the laundry bag and walking out the door.

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“Alright J.P What do you need?” Jared pulled out his phone and opened his notes. “Oh, you have a list?”

“Yeah, Gen makes me type one out now.”

“Yeah, I would too if I was her.” Jensen’s phone started to ring. His face lit up. He hit the green icon. “Hey beautiful, how’d it go?” He gestured for Jared to take the cart.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Are you really trying to pull a Joey Tribbiani on me right now?”

“Damnit.” He could hear her sigh, and he chuckled. “It was amazing. They offered me the job on the spot. I start the day after tomorrow.”

“That’s my girl. See you had nothing to worry about.”

“Whatcha doin?”

“At target with Jared. Grabbing a few things for my flight. Gen asked him to pick some stuff up for the house.” He followed behind Jared. “What are you doing?”

“Heading back to my place to get some jeans.”

“Meet us at my place after?”

“I’ll see you then.”

“Bye, sweetheart.”

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{} Reader’s P.O.V {}

She pulled up to the gate. “Call Ackles” she said as she pushed the voice commend button on her steering wheel.

“What’s wrong?” Jensen answered the phone.

“Nothing’s wrong I just can’t get in.”

He told you the gate key as you punched it in. “Thanks

“No prob.” She hung up.

“In Here.” Jensen yelled as you shut the door. You kicked your boots off and followed his voice.

You cover your mouth and let out a belly laugh when you see selling sunset projecting on his wall. You caught your breath. “You have Padalecki watching it now too? I’m sorry buddy.”

“I hate it, but I can’t stop watching it. Why?!”

You and Jensen laughed. “Hey Ackles, I’m stealing some chips.”

“You can have whatever you want.” Jensen got up. “You want anything man?”

“No. I’m good.”

Jensen walked into the kitchen and noticed his clothes folded neatly on the counter, along with his hoodie. “What’s this? You’re not gonna hold my hoodie hostage?”

“Or did I just bring it back to spray cologne on it?” He smiled. “Don’t let me forget my dress when we leave. K?”

“It’s already at the dry cleaners.” He stuck his tongue out. “I can do nice things too.” You turned to put the chips away. He stepped towards you, when you turned back around, to him holding an arrangement of flowers in a vase. “Congrats on the job.” He kissed your cheek.

Your eyes started to water. “Thank you, they are beautiful.” You kissed him. You sat the vase on his counter.

“You guys are just the cutest!” Jared said, you shook your head and smiled. You both joined him on the couch. You watched and giggled when the boys started bitching about the show.

Jared looked at his watch. “I gotta go get the baby and get her to the doctor.”

“I’ll walk you out.” Jensen said as he got up and followed his friend.

You paused the show and stretched out on the sectional. You could hear him running back into the living room. He jumped on top of you making you giggle. He kissed you cheek then your lips then your forehead. Then your other cheek then your lips again. He started to raise his upper body, but you stopped him wrapping your arms around his neck, you brought his lips back down to yours weaving them together. He growled when you pushed your tongue into his mouth. You took his hat off and tossed it, his hair tickled as it fell into your face. You whimpered as he dipped his hips rubbing his hardness against you. He trailed kisses across your cheek and down your neck mixing them with little nibbles, you grinded against him making him growl again. His hand slid up in your t-shirt and found your bra-covered breast, you moan as he started to caress it. His lips found yours again and he shoved his tongue inside them making the fire radiate through your core. He tucked his arm behind you searching for your bras clasp. He unhooked it and sat you up. your arms lifted and he slid your shirt over your head. He guided you back down with his mouth on yours. Then started trailing kisses but didn’t stop at your neck this time. He stopped at the top of your breast sucking down on the sensitive skin. A small gasp left your lips when he grazed it with his teeth. You could feel the area starting to bruise. “Really Jensen?” He pulled away admiring his work he gave you a wicked grin. He dragged his tongue from the sore area down to your nipple. Making you gasp again as he started to flick his tongue against it. You grinded against him trying to find some release for your pulsating center.

“Mmmmm someone’s a bit impatient.” His hand crushed against your hip holding them down. You let out a frustrated moan and he flashed that grin again. He bit his lip as he watched you squirm. He brought his mouth down to you other nipple and took it in his teeth as his fingers started stimulating your clit through your jeans. “Fuck Jensen.” You felt him smile again. He swirled his tongue as he quickened his fingers. Your heavy pants and moaned filled the air as you felt the knot tightening again. He stopped and sat up. He unbuckled your jeans and slid both of your bottoms off. No teasing this time he dove right in. Making you arch your back and moan his name loudly. The knot tightened and tightened as he lapped at your clit. He slid his fingers in your entrance and started pumping them. “Baby,” your walls clenched his fingers tight letting him know you were close. He curled them and the knot bursts as soon as he found it. He sat up and slowed his pumping as the bliss flowed through your veins. “I love making you cum.”

You smiled at him. “I love the way you make me cum.” You said sitting up and grabbing his shirt, he lifted his arms, and you pulled it over his head. He stood up unbuttoning his pants and pulled both of his bottoms down. You pushed off the couch and stood in front of him taking his throbbing cock into your hand. A grunt escaped his throat as you started pumping his shaft. His eyes went wide as you kneeled.  

Your mouth watered with eagerness to taste his cock as you rubbed his tip on your lips. You stroked him with your hand. “Mmm Baby” he twitched at you took him in your mouth, but just barely. You started sucking, taking more and more and of him as your head moved towards his body. “Fuck (y/n)” he moaned as he reached your throat. You looked up to find his green eyes looking back. Brighter than you’ve ever seen them. You bobbed your head slowly and as your pace sped up so did his panting. You wrapped your hands around the back of your thighs and gave him permission. His hands gripped your hair as he thrusted in and out of you mouth “Fuck baby.” You sucked harder. “Baby. I’m gonna cum.” He tried to pull out of your mouth, but your wrapped hands stopped him and pulled him deeper into your mouth. With a loud groan you felt his salty goodness trickle down your throat. His hands slid to your face as you stood up and his mouth was on yours. You turned him and shoved him down on the couch. You sat down straddling him and sinking down on his hardness you both let out a moan. You leaned on him and started bouncing. He smacked your ass as you rode him. fire flowing through your veins. The knot in your stomach started to tighten as he stood lifting you up and laid you on the ottoman. You moaned loudly as he slammed back into you. He thrust hard and fast “Fuck Jensen...” The knot got tighter and tighter. “I’m gonna come.” He pushed deeper making the knot in your stomach bursts harder than you’ve ever felt. He let out a loud groan as your walls pulsated around him. He pulled out and tried to catch his cum in his hand. He managed. To catch most of it. You lay back and tried to catch your breath.

“Gimme a second Baby.” He hurried to the sink, and you giggled. You heard the water run as he washed his hands. He came back in and laid down beside you on his back. You rolled over and put your head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around you and kissed your head. “That was fucking amazing.” You nodded. “You ok darlin’?” You nodded. He chuckled and started playing with your hair.

You woke up in a panic. “Jensen! What time is it?”

“Don’t worry. I’ve been watching the clock.” He said. “You only dozed for about 20 minutes.”

You sat up. “So, what’s a girl got to do to get some coffee around here?” He chuckled.

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Your stomach ached as he drove Beau to the airport. He had your hand in his lap, fingers laced.  He sang along with Texas Tornado as it played through your speakers.

“You know you have to call and sing to me every day, right?”

He chuckled. “I can do that.” Your hand stayed on his thigh as he downshifted for the light. You leaned on his shoulder. He kissed the top of your head. “It has to be a facetime though. I like the way you look at me when I sing.”

“Deal.” The light turned and he turned into the airport. You sighed as he parked and leaned his head against yours. “You ready Ackles?”

“No.” he sighed. “Hopefully we get done early.”

“Hopefully.” You agreed.

He raised his head and reached for the door handle. You lifted off him and reached for your own. You got out and waited for him at the front of the car. “You, ok?”

“Yea. Something fell out.”  He walked up to you. “Wanna walk me to the gate?”

“Are you kidding? I will take all the Jensen Ackles time I can get.”

“Grab your I.D.” you grabbed it and walked with him through the parking lot hand in hand.

You went through all the Transportation Security Administration screening procedures and walked fingers laced his gate. You took a deep breath and let it out. “2 weeks Ackles. What are you gonna do without me for 2 whole weeks?” you smiled. He laughed lifting his head.

“I don’t know darlin’.” He wrapped his arms around you. “I’m gonna miss the shit out of you.”

You laughed. “Same.”

“Oh, shit I forgot.” He got his phone out and sent you 3 contacts from his phone. “Jared, Steve, and Gen. Don’t worry, I already talked to them, and they are happy to help with anything or hang out or whatever. They told me to tell you not to hesitate to call or text.”

“You don’t.”

“It would make me feel better if I did.”

“Ok. Thank you.”  He took your face in his hands and kissed your lips. “Have a good flight. Let me know when you get there.”

“I promise.” He kissed you again and then nuzzled your nose. Then you heard the last boarding call for his flight. He kissed your forehead and then your lips. He turned and started to walk away. “Bye Mr. Ackles.”

He smiled. “Bye Baby.”

He walked up to the doors and handed them all his paperwork. He turned around and blew you a kiss. You blew one back and he walked through the doors.

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