#but at the same time theres a kind of closeness thats just like

[hirokiyuu]

honestly i find the stratos kids as a group fascinating. imagine growing up with six other kids your age and you think those are the only people your age you're ever going to know your whole entire life like. jesus. i do genuinely think some of dys's problems would be solved if he'd grown up with more than six options for friendship, one of whom was marz

[puppyeared]

axolotl

[todayisafridaynight]

YEAH........... YEAH..... LIKEWISE, NO NOTES AT ALL, THAT'S EXACTLY IT... Main antagonist deaths are often treated as "comeuppance," but that would be the ultimate comeuppance for Aoki. As it stands, the only people who actually suffer for it are Ichiban and Jo, and Ichi didn't even do anything wrong. Also please I'm positive there's more to wring out of Aoki and Jo for an essay 😭😭at the very least, I always love to hear your perspective!

"he'd made a social circle for himself where people predominantly liked him for the power and influence" <- incredibly Mine-core of Aoki btw (I also feel the rest applies a little in terms of Mine probably being very quick to write off people who Do care about him as not caring about him, as with Katase, but it's nowhere near the extent of the Arakawas)

Wait actually it's kind of funny... for both Mine and Aoki, I was so sure their endings would go a certain way. Mine and Kiryu'd fight Richardson off together and Ichi'd, I don't know, shield Aoki or hug him so Kume couldn't get to him in the first place, or after that INSANE direct parallel to Arakawa running to the hospital with Masato, he'd miraculously pull through like he did on New Year's. Tormented with visions of the better timeline... With Aoki in particular, it makes me want to tear my hair out because the moment of him choosing to put the gun in the locker was REVOLUTIONARY for the series, looking at the characters he was most heavily based on.

Anyway. Bottom line. These bitches need to hug it out. It was so evil Arakawa didn't hug Ichi at Omi HQ or on the waterfront like bro stop being """manly""" for five seconds you're ruining my life you're ruining your own lives

There'd genuinely be nothing more painful yet more satisfying for an antagonist than being confronted with the consequences of their actions and having to navigate life after having making those decisions, ESPECIALLY when it comes to mending the bonds that- for anyone else- would have shattered long ago. With Aoki being motivated by the want to be loved and appreciated for himself, it would've been nice to see him finally acknowledge that he did have that love and start to better himself as a result (however much he'd be able to while in prison anyway lmao).

The Mine and Aoki comparisons are so real though, I remember joking to myself about it days after beating the game but it just fuels my mental illness every time I think about it ☠️ I LEGALLY AM NOT ALLOWED TO GO OFF ABOUT THE Y7 ENDING I'VE DONE IT TOO MUCH it makes me so mad every time I think about it 😭 ESPECIALLY THE PARALLELS WITH ARAKAWA AND THE LOCKERS UGGGHHH IT COULD HAVE BEEN SUCH AN EPIC CONCLUSION WITH THAT... Arakawa running from the lockers at the start of Aoki's life compared to Ichiban running from the lockers and getting Aoki to the hospital so Aoki can restart life I'm Going To Kill Someone (myself) (in Minecraft)

[our-lady-of-mcr]

.

[the-unofficial-village-idiot]

Thinking about the parallels of Prime showing C-137 the universe and Rick offering to do the same for BP

[casinocarpediem]

▪︎■☆ Новое Mолоко 🐮🥛 ☆■▪︎

(Translation: New Milk)

☆ 🔞!!NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!🔞

☆ male! subtop! Francis Mosses / male! dombottom! Reader

☆ overstimulation if ya squint a lil, milking, breeding, dumbification, passing out, belly bulge (If your not into this, look away!! 👻👻)

☆ implied Russian speaking Francis (translated from google translate and research for needed accuracy, however, any form of critique or correction definetely is allowed!)

☆ short (I think???)

☆ author has played Not My Neighbor

°○☆nsfw under the cut☆○°

You and Francis had a thing. And, fuck, for a minimum wage worker who barely gets any kind of rest at all, he's fucking good at what he does. He's a big fan of milking. Not his job, no, he could rant about how shitty it can be despite not wanting to get a new one (A/N: so real) but he's a fan of milking. Just the other kind of milking.

The first tim you two had sex, he was pretty sheepish about it, yeah. He didn't know if you prefered topping or bottoming so he settled for a handjob. You did the same as well. Until you both got used to each other and realized that he was pretty flexible. He'd do whatever you'd want to do, whatever you had in store, as long as if it wasn't too much for either of you. He loves fucking but he surely isn't a sex devient. Somewhere in the middle. Pliant to whatever you to had planned. But recently, he may or may not have discovered a new kink. Somethig that made his legs flex and his stamina increase and the gooey, warm, and fuzzy gears in his head grind back to life to keep on going. The last time you two had sex, there was now no condom, and he was pounding you into the bed that you swore Isaack would definetely send a formally written complain, persuasive enough for the both of you to not have such intense, hot, steamy sex for the next few months, (He's a reporter after all, have to respect the man informing the people, and he definetely has a way with words).

Humming, groaning, a little against your neck. You swore it was like a kitten, as if he was purring in a way. You pulled his hair as per usual and with a louder grunt his dark brown eyes roll up just a slight and flutter, closing shut as he fills you to the brim with his warm baby batter. Shaking, sweating, and biting his lip when he just keeps on cumming until theres nothing more to give. Or is there?

What he didn't expect, was when you suddenly whispered in the midst of him balls deep inside you,

"Thats it... good boy, you fuckin slut... Cum in me, keep milkin' yourself f'me"

Ah shit, he swore something inside of him just snapped loose. With the way he shivered violently, and as your hand loosened on his sweaty brown hair he moves again. Oh how odd, after a few rounds, the last one being penetration, he's always so tired, opting to give you a handjob or finger you if you didnt get a taste of your climax but shit. If this wasn't hot then what was?!

When you had basically degraded him to milk his balls dry you didn't mean literally, but fuck. This was so appealing, that your little milk boy had his quirks.

You look down at yourself seeing the bulge appearing on your abdoment everytime he thrusts in and god does it make you feel dizzy. Your hard dick, leaking as well just begging to cum while Francis gasps and shudders a little more, oh he looks so dumb. Trying to do as he's told. To keep milking himself. Milking himself for you. Just for motherfucking you. It keeps fuzzy sparks inside of his brain that has him smiling and drooling against your chest.

"Awe, what an adorable little cow you are... Milking your-...yourself for me... Giving me every ounce of that sweet sweet milk of yours, hmm? You wanna give me your milk Francis? You wanna fucking cum in me again?"

He feels so lightheaded that he smiles dumbly at the idea and nods as if his head is too heavy, full of warm cream. Muttering several words in russian mixed in with english as he nods slowly, trembling as his cock, still hard and moving perfectly against every spot inside of you.

"Please please please К-Куколка please... fuck fuckk- let me cum... inside... inside... cum inside please please milk me- oh... П-Пожалуйста... З-...Золотце... Пожалуйста..."

The pathetic, brown haired man sobs. Pawing at your sides like an injured little puppy. Begging so prettily, who could deny those eyes of his? all teary and tired. Small blobs of salty water dripping down his eyebags which were now disappearing, thanks to yourself for keeping his sleep schedule normal again after years of nap malnutrition.

After a few more moments of Francis groaning so softly against your ear, you feel yourself about to cum too, and when you order it directly, he really does come undone. Panting like a dog in heat while nails dig against his back skin. All the while he buries himself deep inside of you once again and fills you up with a second load of his fluids that it's practically drooling out of your hole. You hiss as well, shutting your eyes with a shudder as your dick spurts out a thick white rope of cum, coating Francis' stomach and your chest. Fuck.

Francis pants, collapsing on you. You gently push him to the side and just watch him catch his breath. Eyes closed, skin warm and sweaty while he's still inside you. All soft. But its not uncomfortable. At least now, you definetely know how you can abuse this new found information with your lovely boyfriend.

[humanmorph]

im not tired i want to draw........................... i dont want to work tomorrow i want to draw.

[saursoob]

bad game (aim) - nishimura riki

paring: niki x reader // drabble + smau // word count: 626

you simply couldn’t believe it. some fucking friends you had. what kind of friends invites you to your favorite arcade just to ditch you for some upperclassman they just met there?

whatever there’s nothing i can do anyways, im suck in an arcade with no ride. i don’t think even playing games with make me feel better.

still, you went to play a few games of basketball but couldn’t help get distracted by a black haired boy poorly playing your favorite shooting game, you decid not to do anything since its none of your business and you were already having a shitty evening.

later you play a claw machine but end up continuously losing but seeing the boy continuously lose as well made you smile and you couldn’t help but say something. i mean, you know you said you wouldn’t but he really was butchering the game, its just simply helping. right? its not like your doing this because he’s also somewhat attractive or something?- shaking off your thoughts you get up from the from the claw machine and make way to him.

“your aim is pretty bad” you say teasing the boy thats trying his hardest but failing to concentrate on his game “i can help you? not to brag but im pretty good at this game.”

he looks back at you for a moment, nodding while trying to focus on both the game and you at the same time. “yeah go ahead” he says putting his arm out in attempt to pass you the toy gun from his hand.

you shake your head “theres no need for that just put your gun up”

he looks back at you confused for a moment but does as he’s told. putting his gun up and aligning it to his targets once again.

you stand next to him holding his gun along with him, carefully aligning it so its better.

you and the the boy were so close you were sure he could hear your breathing. you were also hoping he couldn’t hear how fast your heart was beating in this moment. disregarding all this you continue being close, not backing away simply looking at him for a moment, admiring his features. that was until the buzzing sound of *you lose* from the game started going off. distracted the both of you were had forgotten about the zombies you had to kill.

backing away, clearing his throat awkwardly from the whole situation that just occurred. niki began speaking, “uhm y-yeah it looks great uhm- but can you help me a bit more? i don’t think i have the hang of it just yet. theres still another round?”

you chuckle to what he was implying “yeah sure” going back to your original placement but this time holding the boys hand to hold the gun simultaneously is making your stomach flip. the game countdown starts 3,2,1 still you manage to perfectly place the gun, go! shooting its targets gracefully.

you back away this time to look at the boy face to face introducing yourself, “im y/n by the way” offering a hand out for a handshake.

niki chuckles a bit at your formality, shaking your hand back “im niki, you’re really good. you should give me lessons sometime.”

you think about it for a moment but theres no way he’s getting a date from you this easily so you being you, decide to milk it. “i dont know… ill make you an offer though?”

niki reacts with a downturn smile, “mm, that being?”

“you have to get me that minion plush” you say pointing to the claw machine behind him that you were previously struggling with.

niki smirks raising an eyebrow “of course, i can do that easy. just watch.”

- smau under cut!

[iznyangwoni]

EASY TO LOVE | chapter twelve !

warnings: smut! mdni

After five days of not attending a single class, you finally found the courage to get out of your room. You did indeed fuck things up last friday and that ended up with your phone being smashed on the floor and not being able to leave the house for three days.

If it werent for your mother getting worried about you not replying to her text you would’ve probably stayed there another full week. But now everything was fine, kind of. You were staying at your mom’s house, you had just bought a new phone and Wonyoung and Moka were being sure to stay next to you at all times.

You can feel curious eyes on you as yoh walk in the hallway, and you cant tell if its because you have something on your face or because you’re repeating an outfit.

“Y/n.” You hear Jungwon call you, you turn around. He must’ve just finished practice since he’s still wearing some sweats and his hair and stuck on his forehead.

You dont even have time to say anything as he immediately takes your wrist, taking you with him to the locker room. Thankfully each person of the dance class has a personal locker room, so there’s no fear of anyone getting in. He locks the door and looks at you, you’ve never seen him so mad. “Where have you been?”

“Why do you care?” “Y/n.” You sigh, you’ve thought a lot about what to do with him. You obviously dont feel like playing anymore, so many things ruined this game of yours by now that if Jungwon were someone else you would’ve already let him go. But thats the fact, you cant let Jungwon go. You enjoy his presence and god, the way he kisses you…

“Jungwon i dont owe you any explanation, now can i go to class?” You get closer to the door but Jungwon stops you, his hand going through his hair. “No. Y/n do you understand that i havent heard from you for almost a week? You cant yell at me to not talk to you or touch you and then vanish!”

“You’re getting attached.” You cant even look at him in the eyes, you’re tired of all of this and wish you never spoke to him that day months ago. You need to push him away before this turn out badly. “Dont tell me you arent.” He gets closer to you, his fingers under your chin so you can look at him. “You missed me, didn’t you?” He asks and you chuckle sarcastically at that.

Missed him? You might have missed the way he touches you, but you didn’t miss him as a person. Its not so easy for you to just get attached, especially after what you found out. “You’re only going to bring me even more troubles.” as you say that Jungwon’s hands slowly start to wonder on your body, but you still look at him in the same cold way.

“I thought that was the exciting part.” he gets even closer, his nose brushing with yours before he moves down on your face, giving gentle bites to you. You try not to get distracted, but your heart is already beating so hard its becoming hard to. “You dont know how much i missed your pretty self.” His voice comes out lower than usual, even a bit raspy, it makes your whole body chill.

This is when you realize that he’s not any different from you. You’ve been manipulating and controlling each other this whole time, and now you cant let him go the same way he’s obsessed with you. You close your eyes when he starts biting your neck, his right hand on your thigh.

“Jungwon.. whatever this is… it needs to be over.” But not even you can believe your words, and he’s barely hearing you by the way his hands are slowly going up your thighs. “And what exactly is this, pretty? We’re not dating, we’re barely friends, nor you’ve ever made me touch you properly. We cant stop something that doesn’t exist.”

you feel his lips coming back to your cheek, before he bites your lips. You open your eyes slightly, he’s right after all, theres nothing to stop in the first place. you’re already breathing quite heavily, his hands resting under your skirt. you look at his lips before leaning in, he catches them in a kiss immediately, pushing you back to the door. Your hands on his shoulders meanwhile his grip on your thighs gets stronger. “Good girl. You look so pretty when you listen to me.”

He picks you up, your legs intertwining on his waist, his hands under you ass. He then sits you down on the washer, thank god this school is so rich to afford that. You moan when you feel his teeth sink in your tongue and then bottom lip, one thing about this boy is that he loves to bite. “Tell me if you ever want to stop…” He whispers.

Jungwon slowly goes down, your skirt is short enough that it makes it easier for him to slide his hands under it, his fingers playing with the hem of your underwear. You’re against the idea of doing anything in public, but this is a closed room, with no windows or cameras, you can let yourself relax for now. You feel his bites on your thighs, which makes you giggle a little, he really loves your legs.

Jungwon leaves a couple of marks on the inside of your thighs, your hand on your mouth so that the sounds dont get out too loud. Before you can even register what is really happening, he pulls your panties down and opens your legs completely. Your free hand goes to his hair and he gets up to give you another kiss.

“We dont have time for the full thing..” He says between kisses, his fingers already tracing your opening. Its embarassing how wet you are just from teasing. He then slides his first finger in, making me whine through the kiss, he doesn’t move it immediately, but you can feel his thumb already going to circle your clit. You moan, trying your best to not be too loud, its crazy how he already made you forget what you were talking about.

You bite his shoulder as your head comes to rest on the crook of his neck, he keeps pleasuring you slowly, pumping his finger in and out before sliding in another one. “Fuck.. i can barely fit two in..” You close your eyes, your hands still in his hair meanwhile he kisses your head and cheeks, whispering so much dirty stuff in your ear.

“Jungwon.. am close” He goes faster at your words, wet sounds all over the room, your teeth sinking on his shoulder are most likely going to leave a mark. “Let go pretty, cum on my fingers.” I doesnt take you long before you actually do, his fingers full of your juices. Your legs are still shaking when he puts your panties back on, Jungwon kisses your lips once more before taking a step back.

You take a few seconds to regain your composure, your head still dizzy from what just happened. Jungwon laughs as he sees your red cheeks, finding you very much adorable. “Fucking asshole,” You breathe out, looking at him as he changes his clothes. “I hate how good you are at distracting me.”

He laughs again, shaking his head. You finally find enough balance to get up, Jungwon looks at you, shirt in his hand meanwhile he is wearing none. “Am i distracting you?” “Dickhead.” “You’re gonna run out of insults.” You roll your eyes annoyed, how can he be so damn infuriating and hot at the same time you still dont know.

You wash your face and make yourself presentable again before going towards the door. He looks at you with a smirk on his face, it makes you want to punch him so damn hard. “Call me when you’re feeling stressed, pretty. Looks like it worked taking your mind off of some things.” “Oh fuck off.”

prev | masterlist | next

author’s note hehe today we’re getting two chapters to thank you all for 100 followers!! i didnt even have this account until last week so this is so so crazy to me. Once again thank u all sm for the support <3

TAGLIST @unhakki @firstclassjaylee @en-verse @mxxninthesky @seunghancore @heeseungmyman @jiamini @yoonzns @wonswondrland @50-husbands @leaderwonim @aloloveswonie @f3rraribabez @jwonistic @ribbioniki @kyanmeai @ilovejungwonandhaechan @nat123c @yjwsgf @gyuvision @realrintaro @glxzillx @qettalos @rairaiblog @sakanelli-afc @nodiotter @haohaoshoe @vixensss

[changbinsboobs]

How are SKZ when they have a crush?

🎍For this reading i used the 3rd Eye Tarot Deck🎍

*The content of this post is for entertainment purposes only!

Chan - 6 of Cups

He gets into daddy mode. He gets protective over his crush, but not in a possessive sense but rather he wants to provide for them and show them and even more, show himself, that he is a reliable partner. I believe this is a quality he admires and once crushing on someone he tries to embody it as much as possible, not so much to impress his crush, but to prove to himself that he is worthy. As we all probably know he has self worth issues and this is kind of his defence mechanism that keeps him from self sabotage. This is actually a good thing as i feel like this is a non-toxic defence, that really fulfills its purpose, leading him to not habe much problems in dating, at least when it comes to the initial stages. He views himself as a parent or provider figure and tries to teach his crush new things, care for their needs like buying them food, or taking them places they always wanted to go, having an open, enthusiastic ear for what his crushes interest or venting etc. If he can do those things he feels fulfilled and comfortable with having a crush.

Lee Know - 3 of Cups, Queen of Swords

I see him being kinda stern and not letting on that he has a crush. Or maybe not entertaining his thoughts about it unless he decides to. Regardless of that, i believe his friends and close ones know, maybe even before he does. I believe his crush-having-state has a lot to do with his friends, like this side of him is mostly being fueled and kept alive through his friendships. For example he goes out and his friends start talking about their crushes and then ask him. Even if he doesn't give a confirmative answer they snuff the tea out and shoot him with questions until they take whatever information they want of him out😂. He doesn't seem to mind tho. Except for when theres drinking involved. Im getting the feeling that they might've been an accident when he spilled tooo much when drunk, and word somehow got out or someone wasn't careful and that has brought him some headaches in the past.

Changbin - 4 of Wands, 3 of Wands

He's excited and calculative. If he's given over to the crush then he spends a lot of time in thoughts and preparation or daydreaming. I feel like as soon as he gets a crush he gets this intense need to confess. It bubbles up inside him and he just can't hold it in and has to let that person know. There's much else that comes with that (limiting beliefs, fear etc), but thats another reading for another time😅 That said i don't think he actually takes the action he thinks about and plans. Thats just all what he does - daydreaming about it. Creating beautiful, exciting, goosebumps inducing scenarios all day long and he feeds himself that, in replacement of the rush he actually craves from that person. He feels like someone with unclenchable thrust and at the same time someone that has an infinite fountain, but the tragic thing is, he can't drink from his own fountain. Theres a feeling of chronic sadness, even if the cards are actually very bright and uplifting. I notice that with his energy, its always kinda dark and stern and serious and it feels very deep and kinda scary, i believe it is like that for him too, he doesn't know his own depths and is afraid of them and that translates to a lot of areas in his life.

Hyunjin - 4 of Cups

He can't set his heart on a decision. Its like he cant decide if he has a crush or not. I feel like he mixes his brain and his heart up a lot and theres this insecurity when it comes to matters that involve the heart, as its so prevalent that even if he wants to use his head, his heart gets in the way and he doesn't really know what to listen to and trust. I believe this leads to inaction or in mixed signals as he cant really find a balance or pick a path he wants to follow in pursuing or not pursuing a certain person. He pours lots of energy into such situations and often it leads him in exhausting himself significantly before there even is any connection between him and his crush. I believe this tendency of his might lead to bitterness regarding love and even maybe regarding his crushes, as after a while he blames them for not being "perfect enough" for him to set his mind. Its like "if you were this and that, i wouldn't have doubts and we could be together. Why cant you be like that?!" And then he gets mad for no reason, which shows up in his behavior, which provokes a reaction or change of mind in the other person too, which leads to Hyunjin having his thoughts confirmed, even if it doesn't really reflect the reality of the situation, because he is kinda blind to his own thoughts and behavior.

Han - Ace of Pentacles, The Moon

He has 2 moods that keep switching each other. One's super optimistic where he thinks he can do anything, he can get that person, its easy, and its doable, he just has to try, yada yada yada. And then the other one is super depressed and pessimistic and he feels like no matter what he does he can never reach that person, they are out of his league, they can never like him, he can never keep a relationship, he can never be good enough for love and relationships, etc. Then he sinks in his thoughts and get pretty isolated for a while. Then when the isolation becomes too much he decides to show his nose out the door and slowly regains his confidence and gets this manic-like phase where he believes he can do anything and gets over excited.

Felix - Ace of Wands, 4 of Pentacles, Queen of Pentacles

He'a a bit of a hidden lemon🌝 its very weird because theres no malicious intention behind it but theres lot of...masking? Theres lots of raging sexual energy and possesivness, i keep hearing "my ...(their name)" or "they're mine", without actually having any ground on making such assumptions. But its not malicious or of ill intent. Its giving me a bit of child vibes. Its lime a little kid, in the body (and needs) of an adult is having a crush on another adult. And again theres this raging sexual energy, im seeing a young wild horse running around with his mane being waved by the wind😂 anyways he masks all that with a pretty chill demeanor, not letting on his borderline obsessive inner feelings & thoughts. He may offer his help for a lot of things so he can be close to the person, and once again that child energy - its like sometimes he overdoes it and kind of suffocates the person or offers help for ridiculous things, like helping his crush brush his teeth or something of that sort. This might weird some people out, but he kinda has a very high bar of what he can get away with because he has such unthreatening energy.

Seungmin - 9 of Swords

Im pretty surprised with that but i think he gets plagued with lots of worries for some reason. Maybe stuff that he thinks he has time for in terms of success, stability, time etc. but he realizes that he doesn't have as much as he thought, or enough for so and so. For example, he gets a crush, everything is nice and dandy and then BAM! he starts thinking about a potential future with that person and he realizes his current situation isn't ideal for building a serious relationship. He starts thinking about a house, a family, if he'll have enough time for her/them, about their parents, his job, his fans, the group and what not, and this kind of takes away the joy of the rush a crush gives. Another think im picking up on is that this current energy im reading might be heavily influenced by some recent situation that has caused him those worries and it kind of translates into this specific reading as well. So maybe if i had done it a year ago, or a year later the answer would have been completely different (because the influence of the event wouldn't be a factor.)

I.N - Knight of Swords, King of Cups, Page of Cups

He's a straight to the point guy😂 i really enjoy reading for him cuz the energy shocks me every time. Struggles of the heart are something unknown to him. Maybe thats why Hyunjin seems to like him so much - it balances him out. Anyways, back on track! He knows when he likes someone, he's fine with it and he relatively quickly decides what to do and takes action, probably because his process is almost always the same. He would approach the person pretty quickly without taking it all much to heart. He seems very confident in himself, his feelings and his decisions when it comes to love and dating. Despite that i think he's someone that does enjoy to think about his crush and involves them often in his daily activities, meaning - he goes to a cafe and while looking at the menu he thinks about what his crush would enjoy drinking.

[xyfanficarchive]

ok but just… realizing you love Laios and he loves you too and just,, crying

maybe you’ve been patiently waiting for this all your life, and now that it’s finally happening you hardly know what to do with yourself accept wrap your around around his neck and hold onto him, hoping his doesn’t notice you shaking.

he does. and he also starts to cry.

ok because i headcanon him as demisexual/demiromantic… after you become close friends i think it would take him a while to recognize how his feelings evolved. its just so unfamiliar to him! like how he wants to see you every day, and how he’s so invested in your happiness and making you laugh (and he’s very good at making you laugh without even trying). how his heart hurts when he sees you upset and how it stings to see another guy trying to get close to you. he thinks about you so much that its almost distressing until someone has to point out, hey Laios, maybe you’re in love?

but that just starts him agonizing over it, like for monthsss. its impossible for him to see it happening. he cant really imagine you loving him back, or him being partner material. the last thing he wants to do is ruin the beautiful friendship you already have. like, theres no way it could ever be the same if he makes his feelings known.

but hes not really that great at hiding things and lying about his feelings so its a very weird period of time for you, because one moment he’s acting in a way that makes you believe he has feelings for you and the next he’s just the usual old Laios. it makes you think, maybe he’s just clueless about how to act as your friendship grows closer. which leaves you confused and trailing along hoping for a clear sign either way. what a dream right? to have a love built on the foundation of friendship. thats the kind of love that lasts.

but i imagine - youve had the shittiest of shitty days. nigh apocalyptically terrible. whatever that means for you. and its you and him alone, and its up to him to comfort you. his heart just breaks seeing you hold it all back, and he’s not the greatest with words, he doesn’t know what to say, as much as he wants to make it better he doesnt want to make it worse. he tentatively draws you into a hug, quietly telling you he’s sorry, he wishes he could make it better - and the look in his eyes is all you need to know. his tenderness is what finally breaks you, you throw your arms around his neck and tremble trying not to embarrass yourself ugly sobbing. but his embrace tightens, bone crushing as he plants his face in your neck, shakily whispering “i love you, ok? i love you” through the tears.

[sideblogdotjpeg]

hi everyone im really really normal isnt it really cool and normal that sol held onto this little metal name plate like it was the most precious thing he owned and carried it around with him all the time, even as a synth knight soldier, a little metal plate that had his name "solum" and was the only thing that tied him to who he is and where he comes from. "this is the only thing i had when i came to the waterpark, just this word". just one half of the plate. how did he know "bufo" was his last name? how did he know that metal plate was his? how did he know? when sol almost dies in king of dragons he dreams of a swamp that hes never been to. and its cool and normal that sol carries fragments of a person hes never been around with him forever, a history and a family and a context of what he is he doesnt even understand, that is and isnt his

and isnt it really cool and normal that sol was an abandoned and forgotten nobody in the waterpark, and then he was brought to launchpad and told he *was* somebody, he was an extension of another person, its boy wizard *and* frog pal, "familiars always smell like he person they work with", and then "the gloves are not the same i dont know whats going on what am i what am i", and then "humanoid animals are often viewed as cute by other humanoids and could be used to perpetuate mothership propaganda", and then "why clone me im just a frog im nobody", and. the memories of childhood and sense of identity that launchpad and the synth knight program offered him crumbled down overnight. hes not a synth knight and he was never a frog pal and if hes not mothership than what is he outside of that? except the kicker is that he *was* mothership, more than anyone else; "theres always the consideration that you were made in a mothership lab". that he is just an extension and a copy of somebody else.

and its so cool and normal that sol, from the very beginning, an unnamed desire that alexandrite tapped into, that almost lost him to the network, "you... could find my family? ... i have a few things id like to say to them for sure". sol finds out hes a clone and one of the first things he says was "i think that mightve been the closest thing to a dad ill ever have". brad and bron. sol wants to know swag so bad, he wants to impress him, he wants swag to like him. he practices in front of a mirror meeting him. when they finally meet face to face all sol can say is "i hate the fact that you exist". and still he fights so hard for swag. swag exists and sol is two of a kind now. sol doesnt know what he is anymore. sol sees flashes of clones at the edges of his vision. this is as close to a family as he can get. and swag was a wanderer who wanted to see the world outside his home, but sol was always looking *for* his home. sol fought for swag, but at the end of the day. swag daniels the ship of theseus. "what happens to the people who were trying to transport that got replaced by alexandrite? where does that matter go? / it disappears". "youll always be a part of me, you *are* me, how can i let you go?". sol bufos spore network, a representation of who he is, someone defined by his connections and bonds to other people. and thats the thing that ends up saving that last fragment of swag who survived, and kept on fighting to stay as the original sol bufo. swag still never got to take sol to moonstone .

anyway. cool and fun. sol bufo frog with the most twisted and mangled sense of self in the whole entire world. sol bufo who thinks of himself in terms of other people, who was by design an extension of someone else. sol who fought so hard for the family he just found out he has, and loses it in an instant. sol bufo who keeps on asking "who am i". "no matter what, you are solum bufo. and you are a good frog"

so. im normal about it

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hugging Dethklok Hcs

depending on how im feeling after posting this i think i might make a second part including side characters (likely the second post will contain charles abigail and knubbler !! and maybe even some smaller characters that i feel deserve more love) anyways uhuhuh first official MTL post except it.. actually isnt, ive written for knubbler and the dethklok minute host before so yeah very nervous about this since im still trying to find my footing in how i wanna write the characters, so heads up that this might be VERY OOC and what better prompt to do than do one of my "i dont know what to write" ones written with reader as their partner vague mentions of like. sexual stuff but nothing explicit, i still wish to keep this blog as sfw as possible, really just implications of it than anything also some characters had bonus hcs of cuddling so uhuhuh

NATHAN:

built like a mattress, though that can mean anything since not all mattresses are made the same... hmm.. have you ever hugged/cuddled one of those tiny headed kingdom plushies? very firm but not comfortable, i think thats what nathan feels like, but perhaps just a smidge softer. but how would nathan feel? i mean hes very protective of you, and being able to hold you gives him a moment to keep you close. not very affectionate otherwise, but this is nice. definitely the type to do hugs from behind, especially if theres someone trying to flirt with you

PICKLES:

short so theres a good chance youre around his height if not taller and he may or may not feel things about that (both negative and positive but lets save that for another post as i fully intend on keeping this sfw), i always thought pickles of being physically affectionate so him having a hand on you is a common occurrence. probably takes the opportunity to whisper something in your ear, usually something dirty or something incoherent with him being drunk or otherwise under the influence. oh yeah i can easily see him being the type to swing his limbs over his partner while he sleeps and trapping them there

SKWISGAAR:

maybe im cooking something doodoo, but i feel like skwisgaar may or may not struggle with non-sexual stuff, like being purely romantic and innocent with no intent to get your pants off is foreign to him. i whole heartedly believe the reason hes so sexual is due to being in dethklok and being huge, but also because of his mother constantly bringing new people home. so in the beginning he might actually be tense in giving you affection, definitely going to need to take some time. very cold, skinny people tend to be colder ive noticed so totally you shouldnt take this as an excuse to hold him closer (winks)... i DO think he would also have a hand on you a lot of the time like pickles, whether or not those hands have other motives is up in the air

MURDERFACE:

make him take a shower first/j

okay jokes aside, this man is so starved for attention and affection, but he would never ever EVER say it. you guys could be 100% fully alone in bum fuck no where and he still wouldnt say it. but its definitely there in his actions and body language. i think hes warm, and his skin is a little... i mean he canonically has dry skin with eczema, and while i dont have eczema i know what having that dry scaly skin feels like... perhaps we could tie in some self care with the reader helping murderface take better care of himself? i mean it would be one hell of a fight to get him to try but i think its do-able.. tight hugger, kind of lets his arms linger before sliding them down when you eventually pull away. wish i had more but i think murderface is the type to deny affection whilst also deeply craving it

TOKI:

probably the easiest to hug in terms of getting him to accept it, actually i think he might be the most likely to initiate one alongside pickles. very warm, though he sometimes hugs you a little too tight and might even tug you back in if you try to pull away before hes ready. full body cuddles into you when you guys sleep/nap together, arms and legs keep you in place so... good luck trying to slip away before he wakes up. i like to think he fiddles with your hair, too, though im unsure if that fits with his character... i think that, despite still having a love for all things brutal he still likes these smaller moments of just. affection. very clingy and possessive though so keep that in mind, i think he would hold you and physically try to pull you away if someone tries to flirt with you; a lot less subtle than when nathan does it

[with-my-calamitous-love]

FILIPINO READER HCS!

bnha various x reader

general fluff headcanons, some tagalog! i am filo myself so i tried to make this as accurate and appreciative as possible, a few mentions of filipino toxicity and generational trauma

a/n: i’m SOOOOO EXCITED for this one 😭😭 currently packing for bulacan right now to visit my mom <33

a/n: yes i am distracting myself with the new chapter by writing about some light headcanons

IZUKU MIDORIYA

- TEACH HIM HOW TO MANO!! he definitely saw ur younger cousins do it at a party and then he tried doing it and accidentally kissed ur grandmas hand but he’s more than happy to learn for you <3

- is such a nerd when it comes to learning about your culture and language,, as a young hero he knows how important it is to learn basics from other languages so he can help everyone! but it becomes especially important when its with you

- his accent is terrible at first 😭 BUT HE LEARNSS

- will call you mahal <3

- one time he randomly facetimes you and just stutters may gusto ako sa iyo

- AND IT MAKES YOU SO HAPPYYY

- loves the food your titas and lola make SO much, i can see him really liking pork adobo or lumpia

- your titas always pack him SO MUCH extra food whenever he’s leaving your house and baby boy is so grateful he doesn’t even know how to react 😭

- is absolutely shocked with all the gatherings you have. like theres at least 3 groups of relatives in the house, a colossal amount of delicious food and a whole classroom of kids running around and screaming

- let him play with the kids at the party! he’s great with little cousins and it warms your heart when they call him kuya izu

- overall, loves you for who even more for your roots. just wait till the you guys have the huge filipino wedding

KATSUKI BAKUGOU

- i’m gonna be honest… he’s kind of an ass at first 😭

- like, he doesn’t really understand a lot of the things that are normal to you. but its important to you, and thats enough for him to wanna learn

- ask him to pronounce pasko, paksiw or nakakapagpabagabag but he WILL rage when you laugh at his accent ITS SO FUNNY THO

- high key judges you for running on filipino time.. 5 minutes late to everything but BRIGHT AND EARLY for anything airport related

- you have so many relatives he has to learn the names for, sometimes you can’t even remember them all- but he does and treats them with the utmost respect <3

- bakugou’s a good cook but he only gets better after you teach him the sacred secrets… and when i say the finger technique GET YOUR DIRTY MINDS OUTTA HERE

- basically its a way to measure rice perfectly. he sees you doing it and thinks ur absolutely insane for just sticking ur finger inside the rice pot, absolutely LASER focused, but after you explain he does it too

- the rice comes out perfect <3

- also loves the food your titas and lolas make, but he likes yours the most. i can see him really liking sisig because of the spice

- much like midoriya, he definitely tries to learn some of your language, but unlike the other he doesn’t tell you that

- one day he’ll just remind you that he loves you, mahal na mahal kita <3 and ur just there FLABBERGASTED.

SHOUTO TODOROKI

- i strongly hc shouto knows a few languages already, so he’s MORE than willing to learn yours

- already knows mano, and what to call your relatives

- his biggest goal is to be able to call your dad tito and be close with him, and it makes you *so* happy

- but he also really understands filipino toxicity, how you can be ridiculed for the smallest things, constant shamed for just existing.. he’s been there </3

- he sees the way your relatives, mostly the men, will push down their feelings and think that they’re so strong! when really they’re just continuing the same cycles of generational trauma and abuse

- so he’s so quick to validate your feelings, especially when it comes to family issues, like i said he’s been there too ♥️

- he definitely wasn’t used to not eating with chopsticks, but after seeing its a norm for your family and culture he’s very appreciative of it <3

- listen… i know you have at least one manny pacquiao shirt… he has no idea who tf that is at first but he does a lot of googling for you 😭

- HELPS IN THE KITCHEN! winning the approval or your titos and titas, lolo’s and lolas is SO important to him

- i can see him being really into pancit bihon, especially after knowing the significance it has on birthdays and other holidays after learning it grants you longer life he makes the noodles as LONGG as possible so u can stay with him <3

- GET HIM TO DO KARAOKE AT PARTIES oh god forgive his pronunciation 😭 kunin lang ang mga baterya sa kanyang mic

- overall, loves you so so much and loves every part about you <3

- for ppl who responded to my post a while back! sorry if you wanted bsd i’ll write that version too lol 😭 MAHAL KO KAYO <3

@raccoonkaz @ladylapize @strayruway @yumiruhisu @hungergameswho

[minnielvr]

future reference - hwang hyunjin

˚ ༘ pairing bf! hyunjin x fem reader

˚ ༘ genre hurt/comfort, angst, fluff

˚ ༘ wc 826

˚ ༘ warnings angst, reader is insecure

˚ ༘ note this shit was hella self indulgent!!

you had just gotten back home after yet another bad day and all you could do was look in the mirror, judging each part of your body. your brain pointing out all of your flaws. the acne on your skin, the frizzy, unbrushed hair sitting atop your head, and so many other things you just hated about yourself.

why does he even love you? what does he see in you thats so special? your boyfriend, hwang hyunjin, was practically sculpted by the greek gods. he's tall, handsome, strong, and oh so sweet. he's everything a woman could ever want on this planet. but for some reason, he chose you. and you did not know why.

of course, you knew he loved you. he says it every day. and if thats not enough, he buys you the most expensive jewelry and the most lavish clothes. not to mention the dates he takes you on, fancy 5-star restaurants all the time. still, you couldn't help but think, why?

with all of the voices in your brain you hadn't heard the door open and close, or the voice of hyunjin telling you he's home. when he walked up to your guys shared bedroom and saw you staring at yourself, he knew what was happening.

"hey sweetie, everything okay?" he asked right by your ear as he snaked his arms around your waist.

"y-yea everythings fine." you tried to get out of his hold, but he didn't let you.

he led you over to the bed and laid you on the bed, then he slipped in next to you. he pulled the covers over you two and grabbed your waist and turned you towards him.

"whats going on in that pretty little head of yours hm?" he asked.

"hyunjin its nothing really. just some stupid stuff." you tried to dismiss the subject.

"hey nothing that you feel is stupid. your feelings are valid okay?" he reminded you. "so, what're you thinkin' about?" he asked once again.

"i just felt..weird today. i started to wonder why you love me." you admitted.

the look on his face was a mixture of shock and sadness, but most of all guilt. how could he let you think like that? now he was angry at himself. had he not been doing enough to show you his love?

you could sense that hyunjin was about to start beating himself up for it, so before he could talk you decided to explain yourself.

"im not saying you don't do enough because you definitely do! i appreciate it really and i love you so much for that. but i cant help but think why me hyunjin? theres so many other girls who're better looking than me and don't act like this. i mean, all the girls in the idol industry are better than me so, why?" you had word vomit, you didn't mean to say that much, but it just came out. and now you could see tears in his eyes.

"y/n..i-i'm so sorry you feel this way. how did i never notice? god i'm such a bad boyfriend." he chuckled at himself while trying to wipe away the tears. and before you could say anything about how its not his fault he continued on.

"i want you because you're...y/n. you better than any girl out there. you're pretty and smart and super funny, but what i love most is that you have the biggest heart ever. more than any of girls in the idol industry. you're so kind to me y/n. you don't love me just for my looks or for my money, you love me for who i truly am. and thats the same reason i love you. you're perfect in my eyes." at this point there was several tears rolling down his cheeks, but neither of you cared.

"hyunjin..." you started at him sweetly and brought a hand to his cheek to wipe away the tears, ignoring your own. "god i love you so much," you chuckled, "what would i do without you?"

"no, what would i do without you, my y/n? my beautiful girl" he embraced you and held you close to his chest. "one day, im going to tell everyone in the world that you're the love of my life okay? im going to yell it out from the top of a building." he said.

you giggled. "one day, i want to be able to call you my husband." you looked up at him from his chest.

his eyes went wide, and so did his smile. "you mean that?"

"of course." you assured him.

"okay then, i know i dont have a ring or anything yet. but just for future reference, will you marry me?" he asked with a big grin.

"hyunjin!!!" you shoved your face back in his chest and laughed. then you looked back up at him.

"just for future reference, yes hyunjin, i will marry you."

[zialltops]

honeysuckle’s & huckleberry’s

Cowboy!Joel (41) X F!Reader (25) | 32.6k | wip | explicit | 18+ minors dni | enemies to lovers | slow burn | au: no cordyceps outbreak

masterlist | ao3 | spotify playlist

There's no way he knew Joel was just ogling his daughter’s pussy in the glow of the fridge light not five minutes ago, right? Right?

“Uh, I just thought I’d give it a try.” Joel mumbles, fiddling with the lid on his cup that opens and closes the mouth piece. “You sure you’re alright, son? French vanilla is a little out of character for you.” It’s such a lighthearted comment but it makes Joel's heartbeat ring in his ears. “Fine—I’m fine, just wanted to try somethin—new. I should get to work, ya’ll have a nice morning.”

a/n: that center pic of joel is him in the glow of a fridge light.

vi: If She Wants A Cowboy

He’s going absolutely crazy. Out of his mind bat shit—nuts. Last night felt like a fever dream—maybe it was all along and he drempt it all up. Maybe he passed out in the snow and you dragged him in. But his mind cant make up the way you smiled at him, the look in your eyes when you peered up at him and said it—those three words that led joel straight to his eleventh hour. This is it, almost too late to catch with the cold tips of his calloused fingers. He reached and reached until his grasp finally brushed along the edges of your relics, along soft skin and forgiveness, scraps of understanding in the bitter, oppressive cold. God, the way you looked up at him like you might not stop him if he kissed you right there, the way your eyes searched his when you said—

You know why

But he doesn’t know in the early morning hours when he jolts awake to the ceiling fan against the popcorn texture and the quiet creak of the old house. He’s a little disoriented from his spot on his back at first, wondering if last night had happened or if he’d dreamt the whole thing up. Had he? Because he can’t wrap his mind around the sudden shift in every aspect of his relationship with you.

Why had you looked at him like that, touched his hand so softly he almost crumbled at your feet? He was ready to beg and plead for your hands on him forever. Why did you lay a blanket over him with that same soft look he’d only seen a few times before? Why did you lean down and press your soft, delicate lips to his wind bitten cheek, let them linger and warm him all over, thawing him out from the inside after years in this frigid body? Why did you climb the stairs slowly and glance over your shoulder to make sure he was still there on the couch?

His socked feet sticking out of the too small blanket with his weary eyes and pounding heart.

It’s been at least a half hour since he opened his eyes on this couch, but he can’t bring himself to get up yet. This is his last link to where you’d left him and he wishes you’d come down those stairs and tell him—why, and why should he know when he thought you hated his guts for so long.

You know why

Why you didn’t have sex with his brother. Or why you spent the day beside him in a saddle and got to know him instead of analyzing every little move he makes. Why you looked at him with hope in your eyes, or why you laid in Tommy’s bed and couldn’t bring yourself to do it. The more he thinks about the occasion, the more he realizes the answer is the same either way. No matter the instance, why will always have the same answer.

Because you want him, the way he wants you. Maybe not as desperately as him, but it’s in there, it must be. Or maybe thats just his muddled brain making up thing that aren’t there, seeing things that didn’t happen, making something out of nothing. Theres a layer of his desire blanketing every interaction he has with you. He sees vibrant, beautiful colors where it used to be dull and gray, his mind recognizes your kindness before your actual presence, sees the sparkle in your eyes and your depths of color before he reads what they are trying to tell him. All of that combined, maybe you didn’t mean to draw him in, maybe you were just nice to him and he took that as interest.

“Morning,” soft words pull Joel from his thoughts and his mindless tracking over the textured paint above him. He picks his head up from the pillow with a low groan, something about his neck tells him he’s going to pay for sleeping here. He’d do it all over again a million times to see you at the bottom of the stairs, dressed in a big tee-shirt and nothing else, a sleepy little smile with your hair a mess around your head like a halo. He’s so gone on you, so blatantly smitten that the whole world can probably see it. He’ll never recover from the way he wants you, it will live with him everywhere he goes, like a open wound that will never close. He can’t even remember who he was before he laid eyes on you.

“Mornin’, darlin’.” Your face cracks in a smile you can’t hide, cheeks redden in the dark hallway. Joel wishes you’d climb onto the couch with him, curl up along his side so he could plant a soft kiss atop your head and drink you in. “I was just getting some water, I thought you’d already be up.” He sits himself up slowly, until his feet hang over the edge of the couch and his back gets a much needed stretch.

“Gettin’ a late start today. That alright with you, boss?” A statement that would usually hold so much more distaste, suddenly takes on a new tone—teasing with a dash of heat on Joels part, his eyes chasing after your bare thighs as you walk into the kitchen. If his eyes were a little better, he’d probably be able to see the soft curve of your ass just under the hem of the shirt, so dangerously close to exposing you.

Are you wearing panties this time, too? Or, are you naked? You stop and look at him over your shoulder with a sleepy smirk. “I’ll let it slide this time, but don’t make it a habit.” He catches your eyes and they singe together from across the dark house, like two fireflies dancing across the somber shadows, readying themselves to outrun a brewing storm. “Yes ma’am,” his lips quirk up into a smirk.

“Coffee?” You offer in a different tone than you’d been maintaining, this one is quiet and soft, genuine to the point that Joel cant imagine turning you down. “Absolutely,” he gets up and doesn’t slip into his boots when he follows after you to the kitchen. Barefooted beside you, he gets the full wrath of your height difference, so much smaller than him, captivating in the softest possible ways, with your hair a mess and yours eyes glossy from the hood over the stove. He finds a spot leant against the door frame while you move around the kitchen quietly, filling the water reservoir, then the filter and ground coffee from a can. You set the old pot to brew and open the fridge, light scatting across the old hard wood floors in-front of Joel, encircling yours frame like a halo to his unadjusted eyes.

“Cream?” You ask without looking back, leaning down every so slightly to reach for the half and half on the top shelf, hand hovering on the carton while you take stalk of what else there is. The only thing Joel can pay attention to his his view, your shirt riding up to the middle of your ass, exposing soft creases where your cheeks meet your thighs. You look so damn smooth, softer than any fabric his calloused hands have laid upon. His eyes tick to the fridge and he spots a bottle of french vanilla stuffed into the back of the fridge on the bottom shelf—he’d never dare ruin his coffee like that, but to watch you bend a little further, he’ll risk his taste buds.

“French vanilla, please.”

His heart is absolutely pounding at the thought of you turning your head around catching him openly ogling, but the opportunity is too good to pass up. You lean lower and the shirt drags the rest of the way up, Joel leans back a little to adjust his view and—christ…

You aren’t wearing any panties.

You aren’t wearing any panties and Joel can see just the faintest vision of your lips, peeking out between yours thighs, your cheeks spread as you lean towards the back of the fridge—you have to know what he’s seeing right now, how easily he could step forward, place one hand on your back to keep in you in place while he pressed two fingers knuckles deep just to listen to the way you’d gasp his name. He’s not going to last long in this house, knowing what’s under that night shirt.

“This one?” You ask when your hand finds the lid and he hums without taking his eyes away from your bare ass. “Yeah, s’perfect.” He murmurs, adjusting himself in his slept in jeans so he can somewhat hide the way his blood rushes south and away from his brain.

Fucking hell, he can nearly see it all—a little further and he’ll get a glimpse of that tight little hole—wishes he could take a mental screenshot for when he inevitably wraps his hand around himself to the thought of you, bent over in front of him in nothing but a tee-shirt.

His day dream is interrupted when you straighten up and walk back to the counter. He doesn’t move from his spot on the doorframe, trying to keep his pounding heart and ragged breaths to a minimum. You make his coffee in a thermos with a lid, filled all the way to the top with dark liquid and sweet smelling creamer, even if he hates the idea of ruining his joe.

“Better get out there soon, Cowboy…I think the suns coming up.” You offer the mug to him and he steps away from the door to take it gingerly, his fingertips brushing along the backs of your knuckles when your relent to release your grip. “Your hands are freezing.” You reach up with the other and place it over the top of his hand. They looks so damn small wrapped around the cup with his like this. “Keep yourself warm out there, will you?”

Your hands drop away and he wants desperately to beg you to put them back, to touch him with such concern every day, or he’s afraid he might turn to dust. “It’s damn cold out there, how do you suggest I do that, little lady?” He moves forward a step without realizing it, closing in on you until your head tilts back to look up at him. “Well…in that case, think of something that warms you up.” His right arm takes on a weight when your delicate fingers incircle his forearm, smoothing out the hard muscles there. In your eyes, Joel finds something he’s never seen before—hope. It propels him into honest bravery, the burning heat of your hand on him driving him forward. “Only thing that keeps me warm is standin’ in front of me, darlin’.”

His eyes tick down to your mouth, pretty pink lips just begging to be kissed, to be bit and sucked and nipped. He could, he could right now and you’d probably let him, he’s pretty damn sure and he’s not certain of a lot when it comes to you. His sight flicks up to your eyes again and they are gleaming at him in the low yellow light. Your other hand finds the left side of his chest, sprawling your fingers out across his peck.

“In that case, make sure you wear your gloves so you can keep these hands soft,” you lean up on your tip toes, tilting your head to the side of his until you nearly tuck your face into his neck, warm breath drenching his collar bone. He can feel a ghost of your mouth against his ear, your bottom lip dragging across the shell and covering him in goosebumps. “And think of me, cowboy.” Your words are like hot, sticky syrup, catching every inch of his skin and coating him in sweet warmth. His eyes close and he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding onto when your lips connect with the corner of his jaw briefly, before pulling away just far enough to plant a second just bellow his ear.

When you pull back from him, he has half a mind to press you against the counter top and finally know what you’d feel like on his lips. He has half a mind, but the other half registers a creaking coming across the floor boards. He has just enough time to step away from you quickly before the kitchen light comes on.

He should probably work on being more subtle, because he reels around like he’s been caught when he spots Hank in the doorway with tired eyes. “M-Mornin, Hank.” Joel gets out quickly, his ears barley picking up the stifled giggle you’re hiding under your hand. “Mornin’, what’s going on in here? Why’s it so dark, you two ever heard of a light?” He doesn’t sound accusing, but thats not what Joels ears tell his brain as he tries to make his way out of the kitchen. “N-Nothin, s’just gettin’ coffee, late start is all—“ he starts in but Hank puts a hand up to stop him. “Calm down son, just meant you should turn a light on. Can’t see a thing in here.” He chuckles, walking over to the pot to pour himself a cup. “Christ, who’s drinking this shit?” He picks up the bottle of french vanilla creamer and Joel’s cheeks go ghost white, trying his best not to wear it all on his face despite the utter fear in his wide eyes.

Theres no way he knew Joel was just ogling his daughter’s pussy in the glow of the fridge light not five minutes ago, right? Right?

“Uh, I just thought I’d give it a try.” Joel mumbles, fiddling with the lid on his cup that opens and closes the mouth piece. “You sure you’re alright, son? French vanilla is a little out of character for you.” It’s such a lighthearted comment but it makes Joels heart beat ring in his ears. “Fine—I’m fine, just wanted to try somethin—new. I should get to work, ya’ll have a nice morning.”

Hank gives him a absent wave and he makes it a point to not look at you because he knows what you’ll see written all over his face. He hightails it to the living-room and slips into his boots and jacket, slipping his hat onto his head once he’s fully dressed.

When he gets the front door open, thermos in hand, he hears his name from somewhere behind him. You’re standing at the bottom of the stairs, headed back up to your bedroom. “Yeah?” His voice cracks and he winces a little at his failed attempts at subtleties again. “I’ll see you at breakfast?”

Joel swallows and swears he was born to be tortured by you, angry or not, distant or stranding right in front of him, you put him through agony every day from the way he wants you.

“I’ll see you at breakfast, Honey.”

You grin and start up the stairs with one final glance over your shoulder. “Don’t forget to think of me, Cowboy,”

With a sultry wink, you’re gone and Joel is left panting, straining and confused.

How could he forget?

Joel definitely thinks of you when he runs to the cabin to change, only getting his jeans down his thighs before he’s working his hand over himself in a frenzy, plagued by the sight of you naked and soft, willing and encouraging. And when his gut tightens and his back arches off his creaky mattress—

He thinks of you.

After that, all hope of keeping him at a distance is out the window. The teasing had started out as just that—seeing how far you could push him before he told you to stop, to know the kinds of reactions you can cause him against his will. It becomes like a game, your outfit choices get a little tighter and you spend more time out on the ranch, in the stables when he’s working the horses, perched on the porch swing with a book when he’s got grease up to his elbows working on the old tractor.

You find that it’s hard to reach that point of pushing him too far and when you do, he gets this far away look in his eyes and stammers about something that requires his attention elsewhere. You play coy, even when you spot the thick outline of him through his blue jeans when scurries off to the nearest bathroom.

But you don’t make a move on him. Despite the shift in your relationship with him, he’s still so damn distant and vague, never letting you in on anything too personal that would lead you to believe he’d risk everything to be with you. What if it didn’t work? What if it fell through, would he still be able to walk around here with that kind of ache? You promised yourself that it would be his choice, he had to be the one to break that thinning ice. If he was willing to face the consequences, he would have to be the one to initiate the action.

Until then, you have other things to keep you busy—like the discrete package dropped off in the mailbox with your name on it. You track the package until the very day it arrives and your skin is nearly boiling off as the hours tick down until it’s in your hands.

You get the mail directly from the postal worker before it even hits the mailbox. With a quick thanks, you hurry back to the house and drop off your parents mail on the dining room table. Your mother was in town grocery shopping and Joel had dragged your dad out to the north pasture to look over a few young calfs who were suffering from some kind of upper respiratory illness.

The house was empty, aside from you and your heavy box and the slick slide of your thighs as you take the stairs two at a time to your bedroom. The second the door slams behind you, your already ripping open the box and pulling the toy from its discrete packaging.

Holy shit.

You sink onto the edge of your bed as you gaze at it in your small hands. You hadn’t given the color much thought when you’d purchased it, just clicked the right buttons that would get it to you as soon as possible. Sitting here in your quiet bedroom, the soft blue hues shine back at you like oceans of possibilities at your fingertips. You can’t imagine something of this size attached to a body, let alone Joel—it feels almost comical how large it looks.

When you’d caught a glimpse of Joel in the bathroom that day, it had been quick, momentarily providing a rough image of the sheer size, but sitting here in your palms it feels so much bigger. You turn it over a few times, fingers dragging along the false veins of the shaft, the thick, round head and the balls at the base, providing a sturdy bottom to rest on a flat surface if need be.

You’ve never owned anything quite like this, not even close. You’ve had a few vibrators, a few (much smaller) molds like this one, but never had you ventured out like this before. Setting it down on your lap, you realize just how unrealistic and fictional it looks, nearly taking up the entire length of your thighs. How will this ever fit inside of you?

How will Joel ever fit inside of you?

With your resolve diminishing, you dig through your bedside table for your toy cleaner and a bottle of lube you’d kept just incase. The whole process makes your thighs shake in anticipation, anxiously jittering through cleaning it and clearing off your bed, bringing up a music app on your TV to drown out any impending sounds you won’t be able to contain. Your heart starts to race when you get undressed, stripping yourself all the way down to nothing before securing the lock on your bedroom door.

Soft afternoon light coming through grey clouds makes the thick toy look cold and shadowy, looming against your stark white duvet.

It’s been nearly a year since you’ve had sex, so it’s tireless work even stretching yourself enough on your fingers to try just the tip. It feels like work, your shaking hands and disappointment in yourself, leading you into a string of bitter curses and irritation. It hurts and your thighs strain from holding yourself up and trying to lower yourself on it—no fucking way.

You flop back on your pillows with a loud, shameful groan. Why can’t you just—do this? Why can’t you just relax, let yourself enjoy this? It’s not supposed to be work, it’s supposed to make you feel good.

Realization hits you while staring up at the ceiling fan casting shadows on your walls. “Fuck,” you curse at yourself, draping an arm over your eyes while you try to catch up with your racing mind.

This is what Joel goes through every time he tries to have sex—fighting to make it fit, the frustration that must come with feeling like a novelty, fun but useless. He must feel every bit of humiliation you feel in this moment and then some, faced with women too scared to try, too impatient to work up to it, to cruel to give the same kind of effort Joel must have to give them just to get lucky a few times in his life.

So fucking cruel because you know—know Joel has to be a gracious lover. You see it in every thoughtful thing he does, the effort he puts into small things that equate to the effort he would put into you, worshiping your body with his reverent, greedy grasp. The same hands you’ve seen rope steer, tie up calves for branding. Hands you’ve seen holding reigns and synching saddles, the hands you’ve seen bring life into the world. The same hands you’ve seen wrapped around his cock in a dimly lit bathroom with mindless gasps, flexing biceps and a furrowed brow.

Oh—yeah, theres that hot rush across your skin, that tingle that starts in your thighs and travels up slowly, tickling your starved body. The things Joel would do to you, suddenly filling in the blank spaces behind your eyelids. It’s easy to slip into the fantasy of his big hands, ghosting ever so lightly along your bare thigh, a touch but not quite—like he’s there but he’s so far away, tickling the inside of your right thigh until chills work down your spine, flourishing into faint goosebumps down your legs.

The way he would talk to you, fuck, that would turn you into a murmuring mess for him, that deep rumbly accent of his. You could listen to him talk all damn day long, simple words suddenly transformed into the most eloquent, intoxicating sound that has ever graced your ears. He could probably talk you through an orgasm, blindfolded with minimal effort.

What would he say if he saw you right now?

Look at ya

If he saw you right now, laid out on your bed with a monumental task set before you.

So fuckin’ proud of you, sweet girl.

You feel brave with the phantom whispers of his praise in your ears, so you try a new angle, reminding yourself to breath slowly, relax and let yourself think of Joel.

Joel, who’s obviously ashamed of himself, who probably hasn’t been truly appreciated in years, if ever. Joel—you get past the wide head of the toy and it punches out a soft gasp that catches in your throat—sweet fucking Joel with his thoughtful eyes and graying curls. He’d probably want it like this too, you on your back with him above you, your legs spread wide to accommodate those solid hips instead of your own exploring hands.

I know, I know—you’re doin’ so good, darlin’, just a little bit more for me—thats it

It’s a little less intimidating when you don’t look at the toy in your hands, imagining flesh and pulsing want instead of cold blue silicone. It takes a lot of breaks, a lot of stilling and breathing deep while you force yourself to relax despite the absolutely agonizing stretch. When you get about half way, it hits you that this—this is what it’s going to feel like when he presses into you, the way he’ll burn when he splits you open.

Joel isn’t a boaster on any given day, but witnessing you arched off the mattress with a slacked jaw and quivering muscles, he might let that facade slip.

Shh, baby, I know. S’big, ain’t it? You gonna take it? You gonna be good for me, honey? You can do it, girl—let me ruin you for anyone else.

“Oh, god…” your chest heaves this time, the toy brushing against a spot inside of you no one has ever reached. Your stubbornness bleeds into your desire, determined to get your new favorite toy as deep as you can, your secret, concealable, personal Joel. You’re so damn close now, just a few more inches to go and you’re in the home stretch.

Shit, you’re so tight, think all of me s’gonna fit, baby?

Another inch down and your starting to work up a sweat, one hand holding the blue silicone by the base while the other hand works slow, steady circles through your folds. It helps you take the edge off, doing your best to forget about the way the toy inside of you burns you up, stretches you past what you thought your body was possible of.

Almost there baby, that’s it—thats my girl.

Feel ya squeezin’ me, darlin. You gonna cum? Just from this?

Come on, beautiful—cum for me.

It’s abruptly apparent just how obsessed you are with the eldest Miller when you can nearly picture him crystal clear above you, holding your thighs around his hips while he sinks in deeper, the determined set of his jaw and his wild eyes, consumed entirely by dark pupils that drink you in. He would be breathless right now, probably making soft sounds to the way your body tightens up completely when that final thread finally snaps.

He would be the soul witness to the way your body arches and shakes, the way it pulses around him, recoils then springs to life with a heavy gasp of his name on your parted lips.

That’s my girl, absolutely shakin’ for me, ain’t even fucked you yet.

The adrenaline high takes you soaring across your room, spinning out of control with light dancing behind your closed eyelids. When you come to, the vision slips and it’s no longer Joel you see above you, but your spinning ceiling fan and white popcorn texture.

Your toy is pressed in to the base, finally all of it, every inch of it’s cool blue silicone is wrapped in searing heat.

You’re one step closer to everything you’ve wanted for the last two years—Joel Miller.

The following morning, the breakfast table sits obliviously to the day before, the night before and the early hours of this morning—the ones where you laid out panting his name silently, shaking fingers grasping the blue silicone base.

Now, those same hands grasp a empty fork as you push food around absently. Your eyes are on the plate across from you, Joels big hands on his coffee mug when his sight catches yours. His eyes flick to your parents, then back to you with a knowing glint.

“S’that right, Honey?” You snap out of your daze and glance up at your mother. “Huh?” She offers a oblivious smile. “I was saying how many boys ‘round here are beggin’ at your feet to be their dates for the spring formal.” She smiles over at Joel. “You haven’t been the last two years, but the town puts on this big dance at town hall. Everyone comes dressed to the nines.” Joel tries to imagine you, dressed in a elegant gown, brainless fools groveling at your feet for a chance with a girl like you—he imagines himself, one of those worthless fools right beside them.

“Think it’s comin’ up soon, ain’t it?” Hank asks over a bite of pancake and you look over at your father. “Next week, it falls on my birthday this year. You guys are still okay with Mel coming down for a few days, right?”

Your parents agree easily and the conversation shifts to a new topic, but Joel’s eyes pierce into you through the entire meal.

Plotting, planning and imagination the same things that are running through your equally muddled mind.

Both oblivious to how absolutely fucked you’ll both be come next week.