#metalocalypse x you

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hugging Dethklok Hcs

depending on how im feeling after posting this i think i might make a second part including side characters (likely the second post will contain charles abigail and knubbler !! and maybe even some smaller characters that i feel deserve more love) anyways uhuhuh first official MTL post except it.. actually isnt, ive written for knubbler and the dethklok minute host before so yeah very nervous about this since im still trying to find my footing in how i wanna write the characters, so heads up that this might be VERY OOC and what better prompt to do than do one of my "i dont know what to write" ones written with reader as their partner vague mentions of like. sexual stuff but nothing explicit, i still wish to keep this blog as sfw as possible, really just implications of it than anything also some characters had bonus hcs of cuddling so uhuhuh

NATHAN:

built like a mattress, though that can mean anything since not all mattresses are made the same... hmm.. have you ever hugged/cuddled one of those tiny headed kingdom plushies? very firm but not comfortable, i think thats what nathan feels like, but perhaps just a smidge softer. but how would nathan feel? i mean hes very protective of you, and being able to hold you gives him a moment to keep you close. not very affectionate otherwise, but this is nice. definitely the type to do hugs from behind, especially if theres someone trying to flirt with you

PICKLES:

short so theres a good chance youre around his height if not taller and he may or may not feel things about that (both negative and positive but lets save that for another post as i fully intend on keeping this sfw), i always thought pickles of being physically affectionate so him having a hand on you is a common occurrence. probably takes the opportunity to whisper something in your ear, usually something dirty or something incoherent with him being drunk or otherwise under the influence. oh yeah i can easily see him being the type to swing his limbs over his partner while he sleeps and trapping them there

SKWISGAAR:

maybe im cooking something doodoo, but i feel like skwisgaar may or may not struggle with non-sexual stuff, like being purely romantic and innocent with no intent to get your pants off is foreign to him. i whole heartedly believe the reason hes so sexual is due to being in dethklok and being huge, but also because of his mother constantly bringing new people home. so in the beginning he might actually be tense in giving you affection, definitely going to need to take some time. very cold, skinny people tend to be colder ive noticed so totally you shouldnt take this as an excuse to hold him closer (winks)... i DO think he would also have a hand on you a lot of the time like pickles, whether or not those hands have other motives is up in the air

MURDERFACE:

make him take a shower first/j

okay jokes aside, this man is so starved for attention and affection, but he would never ever EVER say it. you guys could be 100% fully alone in bum fuck no where and he still wouldnt say it. but its definitely there in his actions and body language. i think hes warm, and his skin is a little... i mean he canonically has dry skin with eczema, and while i dont have eczema i know what having that dry scaly skin feels like... perhaps we could tie in some self care with the reader helping murderface take better care of himself? i mean it would be one hell of a fight to get him to try but i think its do-able.. tight hugger, kind of lets his arms linger before sliding them down when you eventually pull away. wish i had more but i think murderface is the type to deny affection whilst also deeply craving it

TOKI:

probably the easiest to hug in terms of getting him to accept it, actually i think he might be the most likely to initiate one alongside pickles. very warm, though he sometimes hugs you a little too tight and might even tug you back in if you try to pull away before hes ready. full body cuddles into you when you guys sleep/nap together, arms and legs keep you in place so... good luck trying to slip away before he wakes up. i like to think he fiddles with your hair, too, though im unsure if that fits with his character... i think that, despite still having a love for all things brutal he still likes these smaller moments of just. affection. very clingy and possessive though so keep that in mind, i think he would hold you and physically try to pull you away if someone tries to flirt with you; a lot less subtle than when nathan does it

[bratdotcom]

HAIR? HAIR?! HAIR!

( skwisgaar skwigelf x reader - doing his hair )

Like many things, Skwisgaar is very particular about his hair. He doesn't let many people touch it. It took a lot of convincing, and promising that you wouldn't ruin his hair for him to let you style it.

"Yous better not fucks this up, babes." He says as he sits nestled in between your knees, his back resting against the edge of the bed. "I won't, I won't." You promise, feeling strands of his hair in between your fingers, playing with them while you palmed the bed for a remote.

You turn on the TV, looking for a video tutorial on how to French braid. Skwisgaar sighs to himself, knowing that he was going to be there for a long time.

Feeling your hands massage his roots almost makes him fall asleep in between your knees. Skwisgaar tunes out the sounds from the video, almost resting his head on your thigh.

"Head up, please." You ask softly, tapping his shoulder.

Skwisgaar acts all grumpy as if he had anything better to do, he mumbles to himself as you brush his hair. "Dont's pulls too hard. I's gots the delicate head." he says, crossing his arms. You were pretty sure he meant he had a sensitive scalp, but you listen to him anyway, brushing his hair as gently as you possibly could.

"This am's silly." He says as he holds up the mirror you gave him, holding it at different angles to see just what you did to massacre his hair. Like his hands, his hair was insured for a whole lot of money. You knew that, of course. This being your first time ever doing a French braid, it wasn't million dollar insurance worthy. "I looks like Little My." He says, trying to somehow straighten the braid.

His comparison makes you stifle a laugh, Skwisgaar's face immediately souring at your reaction. He was quick to react, as always. "Yous makings fun's of me? Dildo." He says back sharply, quickly jumping to conclusions. "No, no, I think it's cute." You assure him, using your finger to swipe away any stray strands of hair.

Your answer makes him feel bad for calling you a dildo. "You thinks this am's…cutes?" He repeats, setting the mirror down on the floor.

"Yes, Skwisgaar. Silly and cute."

"Sillies and cutes?" He repeats with an amused look on his face "Silly and cute." you repeat back, your hands on his shoulders. Your fingers strum gently with the same tenacity Skwisgaar had on his guitar.

🤘 : LIKE THE FIC? VISIT DETHKLOK DOT SHOP FOR MORE !!!

[mikhalson]

I don't want to have to kill you

[marutchi]

(more) spoiler under the cut

they are landing on their feet yet skwisgaar still ends up in tokis arms 😭😭

[gearmarke]

[For the life of me I cannot find the actual screen cap but my source is S2 EP2 Dethlessons]

It's revealed to the band that Murderface makes good sandwiches, I feel like this is 100% something he would do to impress his partner. He wouldn't do all the fancy shit behind putting together a picnic or something but they would walk into the kitchen to see the most monstrously delicious sandwich. Or alternatively, I could also see him making delicate tea sandwiches too.

"It tchakes a lawt of dignity to make a beautiful sandwich. But it tchakes even more.... To schare it."

[pickleskisser]

Dating Pickles Headcanons

First post being about Pickles,,, who would've guessed!!

I think he's the most boyfriend material out of the whole band,,, not biased at all !

He's not traditionally romantic with dinner and flowers and the likes, but he has his own Pickles' charm. Picture lazy days in bed, watching trash T.V, your head on his chest, his arm around you, and his hand mindlessly running up and down your side. It's tender, it's intimate, and probably a third chick named Mary Jane involved.

He values quality time a lot. He doesn't care what the two of you do as long as it's together. Even though he's a billionaire I think he would enjoy doing the most mundane things. In fact, I'd go as far to say out of all the band members, he has an appreciation for the little things the most. I think walking around an empty park late at night with an arm wrapped around you, doing nothing but talking and feeding the swans, is his idea heaven.

He also feeds on energy, so please match his. He may be the most emotionally mature in the band, but he's still just as much of a jack-ass.

An actual dumbass during the crush stage, somebody please stop him before he hurts himself. He's showing off his drum skills, his alcohol tolerance, literally anything and everything to be seen as cool in your eyes. He'll snap out of it eventually and it's something that embarrasses him when he looks back on it; definitely being teased by the other guys about it.

He's going to want to introduce you to his family. It will be deep in the relationship when he knows he's serious about you, not right off the bat or anything. He still desires approval from his mother and a small part of him still hopes to fix the damage in their relationship, do even though it's probably a super bad idea he's taking you up to Tomahawk. It's a disaster, obviously. He'll be nervous the whole time, and the hope in his eyes will be enough to put you in cardiac arrest if you look too long. Molly will either hate you or try setting you up with Seth, no in between. Pickles will be at your defense during either scenarios. You're both going to leave emotionally exhausted but Pickles will be a wreck especially. Please comfort him and reassure him. Make sure he realizes that nothing about his shirty family will affect the two of you.

Other than quality time I think his strongest love language is words of affirmation. It can be as little as a special pet name that's exclusively for him to high praise. Any words of genuine affection make his insides feel twisted up, in a good way.

I think he would like his partner to be a little possessive. Not anything crazy but like if they suddenly tugged him closer when around others, or put their hand on his waist while at an event, he will be swooning in no time. He likes feeling wanted.

He is the best at comforting. He doesn't even have to try, really. His general presence just instantly puts a person at ease. If you were ever upset though he would stop whatever he was doing and get you somewhere quiet if you weren't already. If you don't want to be touched, he'll respect that, and just be there with you until you're ready or want to talk. If you don't mind, he'll pull you in his lap and just hold you close. He won't say much or make you talk, but he does want to be there, just to make sure you're okay with his own two eyes.

He will mindlessly bring you up in conversation. Doesn't even mean to you're just always on his mind subconsciously. He's a smitten partner, truly.

Overall, Pickles is just a genuine guy who has a few emotional hang-ups involving self-worth, but he's working on it, with you.

[tokiwarcube]

Groupies don’t stick around. They don’t drag his ass out of the bar at half-past three in the morning, and don’t hold his hair back when his attempts at mixing liquor and beer backfire on him. They don’t take him on late night drives to all the weird little American fast food joints that seem to have infested the city, or laugh at his dumb jokes. And they certainly don’t stick around when the weight of the world comes crashing down on his shoulders. Clearly, you aren’t a groupie, so it shouldn’t be any surprise that you’re not easy like one. You don’t fall for his flirting, or simper at his textbook attempts to get into your pants. And believe him, he’s tried every trick in the book.

It was a bit of a hit to his ego, at first. To the rest of the world, he’s the number one heartthrob — he could have anyone he wants… except for you. But in the end, he moves on — there’s plenty of other people out there, and in some capacity, it’s nice to just spend time with you without the expectation of blowing your mind later. You’re not like the rest of Dethklok, although what exactly sets you apart, it’s hard to put a finger on. But he knows that with you, things feel natural. And so, things stay as they always have been with you. Easy. Innocent.

That is, until he starts picking up on the little things.

Just as he knows every trick in the book for getting into someone’s pants, he’s had every trick pulled on him, too. So many people have tried to win him over — tongues darting over lips, too-casual hands reaching over to tuck strands behind his ear, shirts riding an inch too high… it’s enough to fill a lifetime twice. It’s become such a song and dance that, truthfully, it’s gotten boring.

So why is it suddenly driving him up the wall when it’s you doing it?

You start to worry when he all but leaps up from the couch with some half-stammered excuse damn-near every movie night. You couldn’t possibly know how your innocent touch — just kicking your feet into his lap, really nothing unusual for the two of you — set his body on fire like some hormonal fucking teenager. How he’s biting his shirt, fucking upwards into his own hand behind the bathroom door just feet away to the thought of you. Couldn’t know how hard his eyes roll back in his head as he cums, breathless, to the ghost of your tender touch.

He still smiles, still goes on your dumb little outings, still bickers with you over the radio when you drive around town. But the moment he’s behind closed doors it’s all strangled moans, stoked with the thought of you. How you pushed at his chest in jest, how you murmured playful jabs into his ear, how you laughed at his stupid joke. It’s all you.

[sakuralovespossums]

Toki Wartooth x Mature Fem Reader

Warning: Mentions of abusive childhoods, trauma, brief graphic descriptions near the end

Unlike Toki, who always acts childlike and naive, your a lot more mature and calm

You always wear a resting bored face while Toki is beaming next to you. It’s a strange but kinda funny picture

You have a pretty smile tho (one that Toki absolutely adores seeing)

You actually also had a rough upbringing like Toki. You were the oldest sibling and your parents were pretty negligent, leaving you to have to take on the role of the adult around the house at a young age

While Toki’s trauma made him develop age regression coping mechanisms and develop a generally naive personality due to growing up in a heavily sheltered environment, yours made you mentally age a lot faster due to being exposed to so many stressful situations such as scraping for money, taking extra jobs, struggling with school, keeping your siblings fed.

Even after you and your siblings were old enough to live independently, the stress of having to care for another still never went away

It def shows in how you always take on chore duty around the Mordhaus. Cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc.

Toki can barely do any of those things, so he just watches from behind while snuggling you

Honestly he loves how domestic it all is since he one day hopes to live a simple family life with you

It’s such a jarring change to go from growing up financially struggling your whole life to suddenly living with a group of millionaires

You both struggle with talking about your families and childhoods, but try to slowly open up and support each other

Because of this, there’s a special deep level of trust between you two that Toki could never have with anyone else. Yeah he loves the other members of Dethklok like his family. But with you, it’s different since he’s never met anyone as patient and empathetic as you

When Toki sees you overworking yourself, he encourages you to stop and relax by grabbing your hand and taking you along on a trip to his favorite places like the zoo, park, mall, and other places. He never once lets go of your hand

He will easily lose his shit at anyone who even tries to antagonize you!!! If they value their life, they’ll know to just stop and fuck off. If not, well……..we all remember what he did to that one guy

The other bad members are no exception! They had better be damn nice to you!!

He always tags along with you whenever you go out to run errands, even if he’s needed in the studio. If he’s really busy, he’ll have tons of body guards go with you (no matter how many times you’ve told him you don’t need them)

The paparazzi and crazy fan girls say otherwise

Whenever Toki age regresses, you go along with it and play with/join him in whatever activity he’s doing

You make sure he never losses his deaddy bear

You have a rather soft voice that you use to sing lullabies or hum to Toki at night when he’s having a nightmare

Toki just knows you would make such an amazing mother and is determined to start a family with you. But only if that’s what you also want!! He knows you still have your own issues to work through first, as does he

Often times you’ll sit on his lap as he prattles on about his day or listen to you talk as he works on one of his models. Other times it’ll be him resting his head on your lap

Toki always goes to you when he’s super stressed, emotional, or having a panic attack. You gently hold onto him while rocking him back and forth until he regains his composure, then acts like he wasn’t just crying a minute ago

It was through this practice that you eventually realized that you also rather liked being rocked back and forth. Maybe it soothes your inner child who never received much comfort

You are one of the very few people to ever see and touch Toki’s back scars. That’s how much he trusts you

Sometimes you just take his hand and press soft kisses on his knuckles. His heart stops

You like to brush and braid his hair sometimes when it’s just you two. He also really likes it since your always so gentle

(It also kinda reminds you of when you would braid your younger sister’s hair as a kid)

You scold Toki about being less reckless with his pets and to be more careful. Thanks to you, Toki’s cat is still alive!

Toki loves to pick you up and carry you a lot. He just REALLY needs to have you in his arms at all times!! He can also never get enough of your kisses, touches, and comforting words

Always has an arm around you, especially when around other people

He boops your nose

His WOWEE is the cutest thing you’ve ever heard

A cute thing about you is that beneath your composed exterior, your actually easy to fluster and surprise, which Toki def takes advantage of just to see your adorable blush reserved for him

You don’t often get angry much. One of the few times you did was when the band pulled that kidnapping prank on Toki for his birthday in Tokyo. You quickly noticed how genuinely disturbed he was and yelled at the others about it

He fell in love with you a bit more since then

The band actually likes/respects you for always being there for Toki, who they see as their little brother

When the band rescued him from Magnus, you were so gutted to see your usual cheery boyfriend look so………broken

It took so many months of careful touching, talking, and so many tears for him to return somewhat to his normal self. You never left his side and always stuck close by him

Now he firmly believes your his soulmate

When you find Magnus, your gonna skin him alive

[pedropascallme]

Your Toki writing is fantastic! You should write him more! Maybe a smut one shot where he's married and desperate to get his wife pregnant? 👀

Honeymooning

Pairing: Toki Wartooth x f!Reader

Summary: "Toki wanted kids. He wanted them bad."

Warnings: SMUT (18+ MINORS DNI), p in v sex, dirty talk, breeding kink, slightly dom!Toki (you're welcome), creampie. If I missed anything please let me know!

AN: Eeeee thank you for the love <3 I love writing Toki content. This prompt had me...excited. To say the least. I thought I'd be able to make this a drabble but it is, in fact, almost 2K words. I'm not sorry!!

You had always pictured a small, intimate wedding ceremony; delicate floral arrangements and lace, a pianist to play you down the aisle, a handful of your closest friends to help you prepare for the event of a lifetime. It was your dream to get married, to find the person you were destined to be with and have a lavish but appropriate ceremony to honor the love you had found in each other.

Any semblance of traditionalist thought you had put into your dream wedding went out the window when Toki proposed to you. Immediately, the two of you decided to go all out. While there were some things at the wedding recognizable from your childhood fantasies—your loved ones there to support you, your dress lacy and with a long train, the flowers just the color you had wanted—it was something entirely new, and much more fitting for who you were now as an adult. There had been something kind of funny about seeing the rest of the band act so dapper; they promised to behave for a whole 24 hours to ensure that the wedding went off without a hitch. Nathan had even worn his glasses in order to watch the vows closely from his spot at Toki’s side, and Skwisgaar didn’t throw in any veiled insults in his best man speech. And the whole time, Toki was squeezing your hand, eyes glued to you in admiration and disbelief that he finally had everything he wanted.

Almost everything.

Having had a more than tumultuous childhood and a lack of parental support, Toki had often considered what he would’ve done had he been in his parents’ shoes. The answer was never one laced with vengeance, rather he dreamt of caring for someone small and providing for them in the way he had always dreamed to be looked after. Toki wanted kids. He wanted them bad.

It wasn’t like you hadn’t known this; there had been conversations between the two of you for God only knows how long about what you wanted your future together to be like, and it always included starting a family. You knew financially you would be fine, but both of you felt it would be best to wait until you were married to really start trying.

And your honeymoon did take place after you were married.

Toki all but threw you onto the sprawling mattress. Maybe after having traveled the world so much with the entirety of Dethklok, Italy wasn’t so much a destination vacation as it was a week away in a familiar location, but you couldn’t deny the beauty that surrounded you—especially the beauty that was your now-husband as you watched him lift up and discard his shirt, tossing it into a corner and revealing his toned torso. You picked yourself up from off your back, crawling forward on the mattress to splay your hands over his stomach.

“This what you were thinking about during our vows?” You kissed down past his belly button and over his thin happy trail.

“Maybes,” he sighed, “but only halfs as much as I thoughts abouts how much I loves you.” You stopped just above the button of his pants to give him a kiss before leaning back to undo his fly. He pulled your hands away and grappled with you until you both fell back on the mattress in a heap of giggles.

“I’m trying to be sexy!”

“You can’ts gives a blow jobs now! It ams our first times as a married couples!” He buried his face into your neck, giving you small kisses that slowly turned more sensual as he began to suck on your skin. His hand made its way past the waistband of your panties—the rest of your clothes long forgotten somewhere near the front door—and he toyed with your clit. “Wants to loves you like this,” he whispered into your neck between opened mouth kisses, “wants to makes you feels good. Puts a baby in you.” You gasped at the combination of his words and the way he felt rubbing against your needy, swollen bud.

“Mhm,” you moaned, arching your back to allow two of his fingers to enter you smoothly, “want—wanna see how pretty I lo-ok, full of your cum?” Your question came out breathy, not at all in the teasing tone you had intended, but you couldn’t care less as Toki’s fingers eased in and out of you.

“Yeah,” Toki moaned, and you moved your hand to squeeze the hard length growing in his jeans. He tilted his head back at the sudden attention he was receiving before his mouth dropped open at your ministrations. “Wants you dripping.” You gave him another squeeze before you felt your legs shaking, thighs clenching together around his hand as his fingers ruthlessly played with the spot inside you that had you seeing stars. Mouth open, you intended to thank him, but there was no time before he attached his lips to yours and started peeling off the remainder of your clothing. He looked at you, curled up on the bed below him as he stripped off his pants, freeing his painfully hard cock and moving to cover you in kisses once more.

“How do you wants it?” He teased, his cock brushing over you. “How do you wants me to fills you up?”

“However you want.” You were giddy in anticipation, opening your legs to him before he had even decided how he wanted to fuck you. He took it as an opportunity, settling himself between your legs and letting his cock rest just above where you needed him. You felt his precum staining your stomach and it made you feel a lightheaded rush of excitement and arousal.

“My wife,” he took himself in his hand, rubbing his tip against your dripping hole, “so prettys.” He pushed into you all the way, the entirety of his cock stretching you out delightfully and making you scream out for him. “Feels good?” It wasn’t really a question, more of a mocking observation at the way your face contorted with each long, hard thrust.

You gave a string of gibberish in response, moaning each time you felt him slip out just enough to feel close to empty before he rammed back into you. “Fuck, Toki, fu-ck!” You were on the precipice of another orgasm, but he pulled out of you and turned you over, giving your ass a sharp smack as you moaned in disappointment and need.

“Be patients,” he spanked you again, sliding his cock over the curve of your ass, “you’ll gets whats you wants.”

“Need it, Toki!” You felt pathetic, lifting your ass up and wiggling in an attempt to sway him to fill you up again. “Need it…” It was a good thing Toki liked seeing you pathetic; your begging was cut short by his hands spreading you open for him as he pushed himself back into you, drawing a moan from you both before he began an unrelenting pace. He pulled your hair into a messy, makeshift ponytail, pulling you up closer to him and making your back curve to give him more leverage to fill your greedy cunt. “There!” You were close to tears, the overwhelming pleasure your husband provided coursing through your veins, “R-ight there, Toki! Please!” You collapsed onto your arms and face as the force of his thrusts became almost too much to handle; you felt your body move forward with every snap of his hips and you swore you could feel him in your stomach.

“Rights there?” He teased, giving you a particularly deep thrust and keeping himself sheathed inside of you while you squirmed underneath him, helpless and loving it. You responded with a muffled “yes,” before he began to move again, slower now but just as deep. “Whats do you wants?” He was trying to ward off his own climax by slowing himself down and goading you into begging for more.

“Wan-want to…” You felt your eyes roll back when he began to rub your clit slowly in time with his thrusts.

“Whats?” He demanded.

“Wa-need you to-please Toki, I need it.” The tears you had been attempting to hold back now spilled over your eyes and onto the sheets below you.

“Speak clearlys.” If you hadn’t been so distracted, maybe you would’ve pointed out the irony of his sentence, but you were too far gone and did as instructed.

With all your focus, you mustered the proper words to get what you were so desperate for: “Please To-ki, want you to cum in me,” he pushed himself in further and you cried out, burying your face into the blanket you were clutching. “Please! Please, fill me up—fuck!—fill my pussy up so deep. Wanna have your—have your fucking kids.” You choked on your words as he sped up, throwing you back onto his cock as he brought you both toward your highs.

“Fills you up so goods.” You heard him groaning. He pulled you back by your hair and wrapped an arm around your waist. Now gripping you tightly against him, he used his other hand to grab your face, kissing you and whispering to you. “Gonna takes it? Gonna say thanks yous?”

“Yes! Please, yes!” You repeated the same two words over and over, and with a long, deep thrust into you, you felt yourself go limp in Toki’s arms. Had it not been for his grip around you, you surely would have fallen flat onto the mattress. Toki continued to fuck you through your orgasm as it tore through you; you felt heavy and light simultaneously, seeing black and white shine through both eyes while you chanted his name. At last, panting and sweaty, you uttered a weak, “please, Toki,” and he gave you what you both craved. You felt his hips stutter against your ass as he came, painting your insides with his cum. You felt warm and tired, but now with a regained pleasure coursing through you. Eyes closed, you felt yourself move and realized Toki had maneuvered you to lie down, still buried inside you. You could feel the stickiness leaking out around his cock and onto your thighs, and his chest heaving into your back.

Slowly, you eased him out of your now sensitive, sticky hole and turned to face him. He was smiling wide, tongue between his teeth. He kissed you passionately, deeply, before his hand wandered down to your pussy and began pushing what had leaked out of you back inside. You gasped, grabbing at his forearm while he playful nipped at you. Pulling his fingers out of you, he stuck them in his mouth to suck off any remnants and then curled up around you, kissing your shoulders, face, neck, and anywhere else he could reach in the position you found yourselves in.

“I loves you.” Toki whispered, kissing your forehead. “My wife, pretty ladys, I loves you. So perfects. Going to be a greats moms.” He kissed the top of your ear, then your cheek, and then finally he gave you a kiss on the lips.

“Do you think it worked?” You smiled, soaking in the adoration of his words.

“Maybes,” he pushed his hair out of his face, propping himself up next to you on his elbow, “but maybes we should try one more times. Or two.”

You pulled him back down again.

[bizarrescribblez]

one of my moots tai came up with this silly idea under one of my text posts and i had to draw it 😭(he wants me to go apeship so he can win a bet)

[anothertransauthor]

Ok I’m antsy to write something starting out just to see what I can do. I’m going to start with the ABC sfw list first for the band + Charles. If you want to see any additional characters you can comment or ask!

ABC Headcannons (SFW) Nathan Explosion

Summary: like I said this is Nathan’s full ABC list. I’m going to be as detailed as I possibly can for your viewing pleasure ;). I’m feeling Pickles or Murderface next.

Warning: slight angst // dipping into they’re toxic traits they’re learning to overcome

Word count: 4,410 words (oops!)

.. • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .. • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Nathan is a bit apprehensive at the start of your relationship due to his rocky previous ones. He likes you, don’t get him wrong, but he’s never really gotten the chance to get so close to someone like he has with you. He’s still trying to wrap his head around how he hadn’t scared you away when he thought you were just some fan. Still you wiggled your way into his Iron Maiden heart, open for you to remove the defensive impalers he’d put up.

After he’s learned to accept the affection you bestowed upon him graciously, and patiently might I add, he uses the tactics he’s learned from you to be a better boyfriend. He asks about your day, genuinely enthralled by your voice. Nathan swears he could listen to you for hours even if you really weren’t talking about anything.

Massaging his shoulders and back was always the key to calming him down whenever he was insatiably irritated. He figured it would surely get his message across to you, who doesn’t love the intimate act of vanquishing the poisons of a stressful day with your own hands? It didn’t matter where you were, if you weren’t having a good time he’d find some way to expel the tension. Say you were backstage with the band after a show and you were overwhelmed with the lights and the noise, he’d take your hand and gently massage it thoroughly. He’d roll his thumb pads over each finger, each knuckle- no joint left aching. Even if he only held one hand, every inch of that hand would be tended to. If they were cold, clammy, and anxiously shaking, they were surely warm and quelled now. Despite Nathan’s stature, despite his large hands, and despite what his attitude had lead you to believe, he was gentle with his hands.

When all else failed, Nathan resorted to what he was best at to convey just how much he adored you. Writing was always Nathan’s go to outlet to organize the scrambled thoughts in his mind, it’s apparent in his music- brutal poems that paired with equally intense music. Racing thoughts and far away words always made more sense when he put the pen to the paper, the unmoving paragraphs further cemented everything he felt. You had started a notebook to house all of the eloquent letters he’s written for you to remind you that at the end of the day you were the one he’d return to. Your heart was home to his.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend?)

Nathan is all about going out and doing things with people he’s particularly friendly with. Expected to go on your fair share of road trips and lots of camping. It’s all the activities he enjoyed with his dad, he considered him a friend so why wouldn’t he bring his friends along for the experience?

You never took Nathan to be a survival buff, but given his himbo nature you weren’t that surprised. He’s taught you a lot about being in the wilderness whenever he had time between records.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Oh my gods, if his arms aren’t constricted around you he will not sleep well that night. Your warmth has become so incredibly soothing to him, he falls asleep almost as soon as your head rests on his chest. Nathan is essentially a 250 pound teddy bear at the end of a rough day where all he wanted to do was wind down with you. He really enjoyed how your smaller frame slotted with his, how natural it felt to wrap his arms around you and stay like that forever.

Nathan had a 3 point plan when it came to his night time routine with you; Step one: acquire the snuggle bug (a nickname he’d drunkenly bestowed upon you when you both retired to his room after a drinking contest with pickle), Step two: profit, Step three: uhhhhh. Ok so maybe it was more of a two point plan, but his point still stands.

If the secret softie couldn’t fall asleep as fast as he’d intended, he’d watch the rhythmic rise and fall off of your chest as you slumbered peacefully against his big burly chest. His hands would slip under your shirt to rub your back, or stomach depending on how you slept that night, in idle circles. The feeling of your skin no matter if it was smooth or blemished, he never cared either way, soothed him more than he thought it could. You were real, you were here- with him! And gods did you look exhilarating in his arms, trusting him completely as you dreamed.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

There was something in Nathan that constantly made him want to impress you as your relationship grew increasingly more docile. He picked up more around the areas the two of you occupied most at Mordhaus; cleaning up the empty beer cans and putting away any stray bongs or other illicit drugs that were littered around the main room the previous night, or he’d take the time to clean his room and bathroom a tad more he usually would when it was just him. It was never about getting a deep clean, he wasn’t embarrassed to have you over when his room was messy, yet something about you made him more motivated to do more than just sit on his ass with you.

Settling down never crossed his mind until you, that was always something he’d associated with parents and old people- you settled down when you wanted to start a family and give up your career and anything that gave you substance. It was always love or hate when he thought about it. On one hand, he absolutely loved you and wanted to spend his life with you. His parents always seemed so happy with each other even after all the years they’d spent together, so maybe it couldn’t be too bad. Yet on the other hand he wouldn’t give up the band or the empire he built for you, you never wanted him to.

Who said you two had to slow down or give up to settle completely into each other? Nathan’s wanted to settle up with you, so he’d said, to never slow down or stop experiencing the fast life he was so accustomed to.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

The way Nathan would break up with you depends on how deep he was into the relationship with you. He wouldn’t have any qualms about bluntly telling you to stay out of his life if he wasn’t feeling it, and he would tell you the moment the thought arose. He’s been with a few women who’d overstayed their welcome and he’s learned not to dance around it if he wanted the comforting discomfort of his loneliness back. Alternatively, if he’s been invested, gave a shit, and was receptive to you opening your soul to him, he’d be more delicate. Whether it was a fault on his end, or you had finally had enough of his baggage he could feel it. He could feel when your laugh didn’t hold the same joy in it like it used to, your eyes didn’t look at him with the enthusiasm he’s grown accustomed to anymore. When Nathan noticed the signs, it was the most brutal pain he’s ever felt, emotionally that is. He never wanted you to feel like you were trapped with him, it’s just as bad if not worse for sticking around just because he was famous in his eyes.

Much like his affection for you, the man has to put all of his feelings, all the words he has left to say to you, and his best wishes for you all on paper. It’s not a script mind you, more of a practice for how he’d approach you. He felt pitiful as he stood in front of his mirror as you slept in the bed just feet from him, mumbling tiredly as he rehearsed the best approach. Nathan didn’t want to completely break your spirits or guilt trip you, the only thing that has brought him joy was your happiness and even if you had to find it with someone else he’d be content knowing you weren’t forcing something that had died out a long time ago.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

The moment he felt like he could talk to you openly without the guard of his walls, he knew he wanted to be yours forever. Mind you this would be over the course of at least a couple of years as you grew with the band. He was a busy man and in the beginning he’d rather do anything else that sit down to have a conversation he thought he’d regret at the time.

And now here he was five years later, the best version of himself that he’s been in gods knows how long, commissioning a ring he’d deem as the perfect oath to you. He’d been planning this for the last six months, between working on the music and getting his band mates to swear on their lives that they wouldn’t fuck anything up the time has passed him by. When everything was perfect he put his plan into motion. While on some vacation he’d pull you aside, away from the band and any prying eyes and propose to you. He’d been so caught up in not crying that he definitely didn’t notice Pickle and Toki recording him while skwisgaar recovered from his preemptive cringe to see everything went surprisingly well.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

While Nathan was essentially a brick wall, he has learned to carry himself a bit lighter while he was around you. He used to be heavy handed whenever he handled you but since then he figured out how to turn the brutality meter down. Not to say he didn’t rough house with you, play fights were a guarantee.

Emotionally, it took several trials and tribulations to find that sweet spot he could handle. While he did figure out how to talk a bit easier with you there were still certain topics he’d be blunt and a little hurtful, though it’s never his intention. There’s just some things he needed to work through himself before he drug you into it.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Nathan’s arms are two heavy magnets when it comes to you. Anytime you were cooking, washing dishes, or hell just standing around, you’d come to expect Nathan to hug you from behind at any given moment.

He’d also liked to pick you up just to marvel at how light you were! He also enjoyed how you’d instinctively wrap your arms around him but don’t tell him I told you that. Any time he could have you like that he would, most often pulling you in his lap no matter where you were (it was also a tactic to scare any wandering eyes).

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Just like with the engagement, he would tell you the moment he knew he wanted to be with you for the rest of his life. It took a lot of time, you showing your love for him through your actions so you didn’t scare him off. Nathan is grateful for it and it certainly had him thinking about it. With each passing day he grew more confident that his feelings were concrete.

When he told you, it wasn’t anything special, hell if you ask him he probably wouldn’t remember what you were doing when he did. You could have been laying in bed, you humming a soft tune and he was just laying there. Whatever the case was he wanted to catch you in your most candid moment, being the you- the person he fell for, before he finally said those three magic words.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

It’s Nathan fucking Explosion. You were the one thing he truly had any incentive to keep for himself and himself alone. If he so much as catches anyone glancing your way they caught his cold intimidating glare in response. He knew better than to make a scene, the first incident nearly killed you with how embarrassed you were. He definitely pulled the “do you know who I am” card and slung a few swears, very loudly might I add.

He would take every step he could to keep you close to prevent anyone from making that move. Every possible chance he could get you were in his lap, leaning against his chest, or wrapped around his arm. It was definitely something he needed to work on, but it was gonna be a bit of a bumpy road. For now you appreciate the thought behind it at the very least.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

You had actually initiated the first kiss, but when he found his footing he found it. He was breathless as he watched you crawl over him, wanting to do something but didn’t want to scare you incase you changed your mind last minute. The kiss grew fervent quickly as his lips molded to yours in his own sloppy rhythm.

Usually when he was itching for a kiss you’d catch him staring at your lips and then quickly away nonchalantly. Other times, he’d turn your face from what ever you were doing or whoever you were talking to to steal a quick one. And no matter the length or intensity he always held so much passion with each connection.

Nathan was a sucker for kissing the top of your head. Whatever shampoo you used always seemed to lull the giant into a docile state as he hugged you from behind. Pickle mentioned it as something akin to witchcraft how fast you could switch up his mood. Alternatively, when he’d lay his heavy head in your lap he’d occasionally turn his head to kiss at your thighs. No matter how small or thick they were he adored how comfortable they were to lay on.

When it came to receiving, he was fairly partial to cheek kisses. It tickled him how gentle you were with him not matter what you did, even though you knew he was the farthest thing from fragile. As unbrutal as it was, he couldn’t help but enjoy every attack you’d unleash upon him, smothering his face in peppered kisses. In addition, he liked getting neck kisses, not even in a sexual way. Lately he’d say the most metal thing was waking up to your partner grazing their lips against his throat before following it up with a proper good morning kiss.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Children were very rarely an obstacle Nathan had come across, even when he did he had at least nough common sense not to act like a complete jack ass around them. He’d goof around, tell a grey joke and generally just get along until they could be done with the whole situation.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Nathan usually slept in so you were up before him most mornings. The man almost always had an iron grip around you preventing you from moving until you, playfully, threatened to piss the bed. Then you’d earned yourself a half asleep “ick” before the heavy limb was begrudgingly removed from you.

When both of you were finally ready for the day, the first thing you did together was stuff your faces with breakfast food and down some black coffee to shake off the rest of the sleep that plagued your systems. After a brief discussion of what your respective plans were for the day you’d go on about your separate ways.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

It was never a guarantee when you’d settle down on any given night. Nathan was a busy man after all, and that included when he wasn’t doing anything music related. You couldn’t complain that’s just how the band was. Nearly constant procrastination to get stuff done was the only unchanging factor, so you were dragged around to all their adventures and shenanigans.

When you did finally retreat to the bedroom at the end of the night, the first thing on your itinerary was climbing into a shower. Lately Nathan’s skin has been breaking out from the stage makeup he wears, but fear not for you figured out a skin care routine for him. And it started with you helping him wash his face properly in the shower. Man has a 6-in-one that he uses for everything.

After showers always consisted of sitting on the bed, wrapped in towels while you talked about any and everything to procrastinate actually getting dressed and settling down. Remember how I said Nathan procrastinates everything? When you finally did get up to get dressed you very rarely went to your own closet, instead you opted just to take one of Nathan’s massive shirts so you didn’t have to sleep in pants.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

It didn’t take long to realize that you weren’t going away that easily, and it took even less time for him to realize that you weren’t like a ‘normal’ fan of his. You had confided your fair share of secrets in him that he thought he wouldn’t care about. He found himself holding onto every word you said and realized that maybe he should let you in the metaphorical door. Usually it was small details or a look into how his thought process goes.

Whenever he told you something new it was seldom prompted. It was like you’d stumbled into a secret area in a video game while you were exploring, and the character you’d been trailing with suddenly drops some lore without warning. Despite how odd his patterns were it made him all the more intriguing to you, learning about him as an individual and putting the puzzle pieces together.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Patience was like a generator for him, the less stress he had plugged in metaphorically, the more patience he had. But as more and more things were piled on the battery drained faster. He tried not to be irritable around you, you never in your time with him ever gave him a reason to be mad. He didn’t want you to be in the splash zone if he snapped.

The only exception to the battery rule he had was if anything happened to you. He can remember all too vividly being at some bar full of regular jack offs with you and the band. Someone where in the background while you and the band were laughing about something Pickle had said, a bar fight had started. At first Nathan shrugged it off, it was annoying but it didn’t ruin the atmosphere. That was until one of them threw a half full bottle of Natty Light just above your head, having missed its initial target. The glass shattered and nicked your shoulder, the remaining booze that splashed didn’t do much to help the situation as you winced hardly at the stinging.

None of the band knew Nathan had hopped over the table until they heard him toss a couple of rage filled swears at the culprit.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Having always been slow to learn things, Nathan took it upon himself to keep a section of his notebook dedicated to your favorite anything. It could be as small as your favorite color or as important as an allergy you’d mentioned so he didn’t accidentally gift you something you couldn’t eat/enjoy. He would challenge himself to memorize important dates and names you’d told him in passing to surprise you when he asks about them later.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in their relationship?)

The singers favorite moment in the time he’s met you would probably have to be the first time he heard you sing. As insignificant as it may seem, he did really enjoy your voice.

He was walking back to his room after having a particularly frustrating conversation with Charles. When he grew closer he could hear muffled noises that sounded like humming. Slowly, he opened the door to see you standing by the window, looking out over the rest of Mordhaus as you sang. It was a song he’s never heard but you carried it so well.

Nathan shut the door quietly and made his way over, any frustration he had faded into the back ground. His arms wrapped around your waist and he had to bite back a chuckle as you squealed. The moment was short but it was the softest he’s felt for anyone ever, and he has you to thank for that.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you?)

Much like the jealousy segment showcased, Nathan is usually on top of everything when it comes to your protection. He’s a fuckin brick shithouse so he can handle anything physically. During the course of your relationship with him, he’s most likely hospitalized a small country worth of people who tried to make any kind of move to hurt you— being in the spot light did have its risks you know.

Security ran deeper than just what he could do physically. Having to overcome fear and rejection, he’s learned a small handful of coping mechanisms. He uses that knowledge to help you whenever he recognizes the signs of panic or in general just discomfort. Sometimes you’d have to remind him that you’re ok, that it wasn’t that serious. He just worries about you!

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Nathan’s parents were always he blueprint when it came to his perspective of love. When he got famous he never thought he’d reach it, but now that he has you he’s ecstatic to use every trick he’s observed in his youth. On dates and anniversaries expect a plethora of cliche gifts: big bouquets of roses, stuffed animals, jewelry.

He engraved each and every date that something important has happened on in his brain, and also written several times on calendars and in his notebook, so there was absolutely no chance he’d forget anything. He’s working with Charles to plan events and parties for your anniversary, the big fancy ones and not just something he’d usually throw together with the guys.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Nathan tends to shut down some days when he’d have a particularly bad dream…speaking of he’s rather private about his dreams. Any time you’d ask what was on his mind he refused to elaborate further than just “mm’bad dream..”

He was a diva in his own way, if it wasn’t perfect it wasn’t accepted. So many albums lost, green rooms wrecked, tours nearly ruined. Though it makes you uncomfortable to see him regress to tantrums sometimes, you chalked it up to the fame. These moments were small in comparison to your relationship as a whole.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Nathan takes at least some pride in his appearance, anything so he didn’t fall to Williams level. He did have an Old Spice 4-in-1: shampoo, conditioner, face wash, body wash. Why have so many products that all smelled different? It was a lot on his senses so he uses that so all of him was clean and smelled like…wait what did the bottle say? Congealed Liquified Corpse…it was a Dethklok x Old Spice collab. Brutal name aside, it actually made him smell earthy, piney even— it was a joke in a bottle.

Shower practice aside, he did the basics when it came to his actual appearance; he’d comb his hair, brush his teeth, wipe his ass. It did the job well enough and he was ok with how he looked.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Absolutely he would, you’d become his home. You domesticated the beast and he was forever putty in your hands. Without you, he’d feel lost. There was no hole in his heart, it was just gone— you were his heart. Any time you had to leave for some other business Charles had you doing, he’d just mope around alone in the room if he wasn’t distracting himself with the band. Even then, the party felt incomplete without you.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Nathan is very fluent in French, like he sounds like he grew up speaking it. He most definitely sweet talks you in French. Alternatively he would get away with saying the most outta pocket and down right filthy shit to you and no one has a clue until they see you quickly turn red.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

In a partner, he really doesn’t want just some fan— he’s been burned way too many times. They’re shallow and don’t even want to know who he is as a person, it’s slimy and not to mention very one sided.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

See his thre- uhh two point plan, in the cuddle section. He won’t sleep well if he isn’t tangled up with you. In addition if you sleep with any kind of noise going on, he’d adapt and now he can’t sleep without anything going on in the background. Noticing his infatuation with the ocean lately, you introduced him to whale songs to sleep to and boy howdy is he out like a light whenever you turn it on.

Ok I got a little carried away, but I’m really proud of it! Let me know what you think of my big pushover- aha!

Keep those requests in coming! I’m loving the ideas so far. Up next is trans! Pickles x gn! Reader! What’s the plot? No body knows, babe! It it will certainly be an adventure that’s for sure!

Stay tuned, dethfans!

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hellooo could you do something with Pickles the drummer and he and his current s/o have their first kiss but it ends up also being his s/o's first kiss in like ever,, can be like a drabble or hc thingy whatever feels right to you

Thank you 🔥🔥

Pickles stealing your first kiss

METALOCALYPSE READER SPOTTED OMG HAAAAAAI HAAAAAAAAAI MY MTL ROT MAY BE DORMANT RN BUT THIS MAKES ME SO SO HAPPY OOOOOUGH

Notes: reader is gn, written on mobile, admins rusty with writing mtl so bare with him💔

CWs: alchohol mentions

"Like... never ever??"

He can't believe it, actually- a total babe like you? You've never kissed anyone? Ever?

Of course he's not going to be mean about it, at most he might tease you- he was your first? Just know he's doing that little smirk of his whenever the fact crosses his mind

As for the actual kiss....

It really depends on the scenario but he tends to fall between tender and rough- he's passionate but not overwhelming!

WILL rest his hands on your jaw or waist, looooves getting you nice and close to him in general

His breath reeks of alchohol, though.... hopefully you don't mind that toooooo much!

Definitely the type to chuckle a bit if he's already had a drink or two- buzzed but not drunk

[bratdotcom]

RED NAIL THEORY

( Nathan Explosion x reader - testing out the red nail theory on ur very dense bf!! )

Nathan obviously knew a thing or two about nails. He was the only member of the band who even bothered to do it.

He grunts as he looks at your nails. Nathan adjusts his reading glasses, positioning himself in a way where he could look at your hands without getting out of his chair. "What am I supposed to be looking at right now?" He asks, being completely blunt with you.

"My nails, Nathan. You're supposed to be looking at my nails." You reply, holding out both of your hands, nails out on display like one of those hand models he's seen before on TV.

Your nails were a pretty shade of red, bright and eye-catching in contrast to the dark and walls of his room.

"They look good." He comments, pushing up the nose bridge of his glasses. "Just good?" You repeat, pulling your hands away. "What?" he replies back, a bit taken aback from your reaction. "Do you not know the red nail theory?" His eyes narrow through his glasses. "What the hell is that?" Nathan sneers at you like you said something completely foreign to him, which you did. But he didn't mean to look mean. He was just like that.

You press the button on his reclining chair to make it lift him back down to the floor. A grumble erupts from his chest as his boots softly make contact with the ground. "Now that I have your attention." you pretend to clear your throat, the way you had your hands behind your back to seem all serious to him makes Nathan laugh quietly to himself.

You pull your Dethphone out of your pocket, Nathan told you not to get one but you were adamant on getting one anyway and he couldn't really argue with that.

You turn the phone on, not realizing that it was upside down. He quietly fixes the way you hold the phone, turning it so that it faces you. Nathan hears you murmur a quiet "Thank you." as you type something up on its keyboard.

"Read this." You hand him your phone. Nathan holds it awkwardly in his hand, still not used to the spikes that poke slightly into his palm. His finger almost takes up a third of the screen as he scrolls over blocks of highlighted text.

"…do you think I don't have the hots for you anymore or somethin'?" he asks, right after mumbling a couple of the words to himself. "We're literally dating."

"I- of course not!" Your face flushes hot in embarrassment, quickly snatching your Dethphone out of his hands even though the spikes on its side hurt your palm just a bit. You click it off once you slip it back in your pocket.

Nathan grabs your other hand, examining your nails quietly. "I like you for you. You don't need to impress me like some groupie, you know that, right?"

"I know that." You pretend to sound annoyed as you look away from him. The way the crimson on your nails popped against the color of your shirt made him rethink his words from earlier.

Knowing that you won't stay mad at him for too long, Nathan smiles to himself as he pulls you into his chair by the torso for a well-needed cuddle.

🤘 : LIKE THE FIC? VISIT DETHKLOK DOT SHOP FOR MORE !!!

[polyklok]

Omg omg i love your writing!!! No words can describe how much I love it!

Imagine muderface with a s/o or crush that says the weirdest stuff, like some stuff that they have been through. It is so random! Like those tik toks that say "the Egyptians believed the most significant thing you could do is die" in the most randomest of situations.

Like imagine just chilling out doing nothing and y/n looks over at muderface and says "would a zombie apocalypse be a formal event? Like your buried in your best clothes?"

It woukd very so cool if you could write something for this but if you don't want to that's cool!

Just wanted to share my thoughts. No one I know watches Metalocalypse.

Thank you!!!

Have a wonderful day or night!!

(I didn't really check my grammar or spelling that well, I am sorry)

Murderface with an S/O that says ~random~ things!

“The color is actually named after the fruit.”

You baffle him daily. He never asked to be spoonfed random trivia, shower thoughts, or absurd hypothetical questions. And yet, here he was, eating it all up.

When William was first met with your verbal hijinks, he was just so, so confused. Why did you know this? Why were you telling him this?

“What?”

“Orange. Like, people just described the color as yellow-red or something before the orange fruit was spread around Europe and they got a new word for it. The color is named after the fruit.”

“…Okay???”

For a while, he thought you were trying to give him clues about something. He was just extremely suspicious of you. Like, surely there had to be a reason behind it, right? Well, no, and he soon just found it was a quirk of yours.

He was always told to shut up whenever he tried to pipe in or had an interesting fact to share, so you defying one of the fundamental rules of his life is a bit jarring.

As he grows closer and more comfortable to you, he gets used to your pondering and even begins to consider them. Maybe you have a point?

“What’s the minimum amount of ducks do you think it would take to fully kill an adult rhino?”

“I don’t fuchkin’ know. Probably a schit ton.”

“I bet, like, five. They’d just swarm him.”

“You are scho wrong. He’d schtomp them all to a pashte.”

Well now he’s gonna stay awake all night thinking about it. He can’t decide if you’re the stupidest person he’s ever met or the smartest. Either way, he gets a little flustered when facing the seemingly infinite expanse of your mind.

After a while, he begins to pick up your habit. In his own Murderface-way, of course. He had a pretty obvious interest in things like car mechanics and war history, but now he’s more willing to share all of what he knows with you. He’s really excited that someone finally seems interested in what he has to say, no matter how meaningless it is.

And once that door is open, he becomes more willing to open up on a deeper level. Even though he’s a dumbass, he does have a depth of intelligence, even if he isn’t great at articulating it. Be patient and you’ll get some fascinating conversation from him.

“Even if there isch a God…like, what the fuck, man?! You juscht gonna leave us all down here to suffer and schit? I might as well ignore you juscht to schpite you! What a dick move.”

William never realized how valuable it was to him just to be listened to. Simply talking to you slowly becomes one of the better parts of his day, everyday.

It takes a lot for Murderface to love and it takes even more to love him back. But the effort is well worth it with these types of riveting discussions;

“You have to fight a bug that’s 100 times its original size and you get one weapon from the medieval era. What is your bug and what’s your weapon?”

“Easchy. Butterfly, Croschbow. One arrow for each wing. Instant win.”

[mentally-unwell666]

all I want is that my favorite ships would please just stop verbally edging each other and fuck.

IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!😭

-(looking at you Hannigram, Skwistok, Steddie, Wolfstar and Azris)

[asmoteeth]

eat from me, eat from my flesh... among cannibals — take your time as you shred my flesh apart... among cannibals.

More under cut

I thought these were a little too wild /hj so I kept them under cut, there's also a meme