#im just. sol bufo + his sense of identity is sooo...... tangled n fascinating

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hi everyone im really really normal isnt it really cool and normal that sol held onto this little metal name plate like it was the most precious thing he owned and carried it around with him all the time, even as a synth knight soldier, a little metal plate that had his name "solum" and was the only thing that tied him to who he is and where he comes from. "this is the only thing i had when i came to the waterpark, just this word". just one half of the plate. how did he know "bufo" was his last name? how did he know that metal plate was his? how did he know? when sol almost dies in king of dragons he dreams of a swamp that hes never been to. and its cool and normal that sol carries fragments of a person hes never been around with him forever, a history and a family and a context of what he is he doesnt even understand, that is and isnt his

and isnt it really cool and normal that sol was an abandoned and forgotten nobody in the waterpark, and then he was brought to launchpad and told he *was* somebody, he was an extension of another person, its boy wizard *and* frog pal, "familiars always smell like he person they work with", and then "the gloves are not the same i dont know whats going on what am i what am i", and then "humanoid animals are often viewed as cute by other humanoids and could be used to perpetuate mothership propaganda", and then "why clone me im just a frog im nobody", and. the memories of childhood and sense of identity that launchpad and the synth knight program offered him crumbled down overnight. hes not a synth knight and he was never a frog pal and if hes not mothership than what is he outside of that? except the kicker is that he *was* mothership, more than anyone else; "theres always the consideration that you were made in a mothership lab". that he is just an extension and a copy of somebody else.

and its so cool and normal that sol, from the very beginning, an unnamed desire that alexandrite tapped into, that almost lost him to the network, "you... could find my family? ... i have a few things id like to say to them for sure". sol finds out hes a clone and one of the first things he says was "i think that mightve been the closest thing to a dad ill ever have". brad and bron. sol wants to know swag so bad, he wants to impress him, he wants swag to like him. he practices in front of a mirror meeting him. when they finally meet face to face all sol can say is "i hate the fact that you exist". and still he fights so hard for swag. swag exists and sol is two of a kind now. sol doesnt know what he is anymore. sol sees flashes of clones at the edges of his vision. this is as close to a family as he can get. and swag was a wanderer who wanted to see the world outside his home, but sol was always looking *for* his home. sol fought for swag, but at the end of the day. swag daniels the ship of theseus. "what happens to the people who were trying to transport that got replaced by alexandrite? where does that matter go? / it disappears". "youll always be a part of me, you *are* me, how can i let you go?". sol bufos spore network, a representation of who he is, someone defined by his connections and bonds to other people. and thats the thing that ends up saving that last fragment of swag who survived, and kept on fighting to stay as the original sol bufo. swag still never got to take sol to moonstone .

anyway. cool and fun. sol bufo frog with the most twisted and mangled sense of self in the whole entire world. sol bufo who thinks of himself in terms of other people, who was by design an extension of someone else. sol who fought so hard for the family he just found out he has, and loses it in an instant. sol bufo who keeps on asking "who am i". "no matter what, you are solum bufo. and you are a good frog"

so. im normal about it