#but at the same time I can empathise with how you turned out this way and if things were different we could've been friends

[midnight-bay-if]

OMG i just have to say the way you write your characters is amazing! Often times when I read books with a large cast of characters a lot of the characters feel like the same and their characters aren't the most distinct but each and every one of the RO's feels like their own individual, with their own voice. If someone threw a random quote from one of your characters in my direction i feel like i could easily distinguish which characters said it because they are each so unique, which is amazing writing on your behalf! 👏 I'm currently working on my own IF and I was wondering if you had any tips on making unique characters or just writting in general? And I hope that your feeling better after your illness and that your writting is going smoothly <3

This is such a nice compliment! 🥺 I'm a little speechless, haha. But this is precisely why I like answering asks from each character's POV. It's great practice, and I've learned a lot about my own characters doing it that way.

Firstly, do not be afraid to start with a trope. They can be great stepping stones to get you started. For me, the beginning stepping stone for the wider story was Umbra. I was going through a really personally tough time when I created them. I needed a way to voice my desperation. Then came N, and with them came the devil on my shoulder. I played around with the character tropes I've loved for so long while figuring out the greater story after. So much of The Midnight Bay was designed alongside the characters.

Empathising with your characters will help you find their struggle and voice. It can be uncomfortable for me to write Umbra at times because so much of my own anxiety has been put into that character, but some people will connect with it, and that's important.

When it comes to finding a character's voice, it's best to start with their background. Consider how the character got to their position and how it has affected them. Their psychology will determine a lot about what they say and how they say it. But equally as important is what they choose not to say, and why.

Their personalities are going to play a large role in their speech. For example, S is a tactician, smart, to the point, but can turn on the charm when desired. All good things, right? Well, yes and no. They have a bit of a hero complex and will always put their teammates in the most advantageous position, even to their own detriment. A fatal flaw of character will always make your characters more interesting. Their best traits can also be their greatest weakness.

Sometimes, it can be fun to switch up which aspect of a character you choose to keep secret. Taj wears all their flaws out in the open, unlike the others. They stand out against the others because their softer side is what is secret.

Also, this is an old tip that gets passed around quite a bit, but it's one I think about a lot; could each of your main characters work as the story's protagonist? Are they fleshed out enough to work as a main character? Can you imagine following them through the main story and still have a compelling story to tell? If the answer is no, consider why not - what's missing?

I'm fighting my imposter syndrome right now in order to deliver these tips, but hopefully, they are helpful and don't come across as pretentious, haha.

This is going to be an anticlimactic final point, but it deserves saying. Writing often is going to be the biggest help. Even if you can only manage a couple of lines a day, it'll help. Some days I really struggle; my imposter syndrome takes over and I feel utterly hopeless. On days like that, I'll search my inbox for a new ask to inspire me, reread my favourite novels or move onto another scene entirely to unstick my brain from its patterns. The most important thing is to have fun with it.

Anyway, hopefully, this was at least slightly helpful. I fear I have just rambled nonsensically, but it's pretty accurate to what my process is like, haha.

Thank you again for such a kind message. It really helped brighten up my day since this illness has been lingering much longer than I would like. I'm getting better as the days go by now, and I'm hoping to get back to work on chapters 3 and 4 starting tomorrow :)

[sorry-not-feeling-it-right-now]

Ask game here!!! ^^^ (I’m on IPad so it looks like this unfortunately 😭)

(Oh gosh three asks asking me about the same character (I’ll just put them together and answer it as a singular post!))

(Also this turned out way longer than I’ve expected so I’m gonna put a cut here!! To save scrolling time!!)

FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM

Probably how open Smitten is with his emotions!!! He feels so so much with his whole heart and I really love how he’s not afraid to share them! He is a really honest and earnest character and I don’t really see him lying in any way (and if he does, he’d probably do a really terrible job at it because of how he wears his heart on his sleeve andnsjsm). I can’t help but feel that his earnestness is something worth admiring!

Oh! And of course of how gentle he can be! Despite his bravado he really knows how to lift someone up with his soft words. He can see how someone is hurting and would attempt to lift them up by reminding them that they are loved and is worth loving. I especially love him in Thorn because of this reason. He’s really just love personified (even if it’s towards his own deterrent (don’t do that Smitten))

Also also! I love the way he speaks! He’s so dramatic with his speech patterns that it gives me the giddiest feeling whenever I hear him speak. His princely flair got me alright… he’s so cute,,,.,,…

AND!!! How he subverts the expectations of how love is a purely good thing!!! Love can hurt really really bad as well as heal!! Both the giver and the receiver!!!! And how he is a representation of using fantasy as a coping mechanism!!! He has a lot!!! Of stuff!!!!

(Ik it said “favourite thing about them (singular)” but I can’t help but give him appreciation by yapping)

LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT THEM

(I do have some things to say about that despite you occupying 90% of my brain space Smitten </3 it’s out of love tho I promy…)

To mirror what I’ve said at the beginning, it’s of how self-sacrificing he is. My guy has zero self-preservation and self-love despite being the personification of love and emotion. He would literally die for the one he loves and like,,,, NO!!!! SMITTY!!!! SOME PEOPLE WOULD WANT YOU TO LIVE!!!! FOR THEM!!!! SOME PEOPLE WOULD TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR DEVOTION!!!!! DONT DO IT!!!! SHAKING YOU ON THE SHOULDERS /AFF

FAVORITE LINE

He has a lot of great lines tbh sbsnsjs

A lot of them are really good, but I just, can’t remember a lot of them, so I’ll just put down those that I actually remember

“My wrath will echo the depths of my bereavement.”

“If we just showed her the contents of our heart... She'd be happy here." ABSOLUTE CHILLS

“YOU SMARMY ASS”

"By cruelly turning on the Princess on her moment of vulnerability we made ourselves an enemy. But, by mastering our fear and insecurity and handing over our power, we've begun a journey to something so much deeper"

BROtp

Smitten and Skeptic! As well as Smitten and Stubborn!!

The Heart and The Head!! The Grey Brothers have a special place in my heart… They’re like the two people who’s really different from each other but enjoys each other’s company regardless of that difference. They balance each other out rather nicely despite them never meeting each other officially in game: like, Skeptic could teach Smitten to think before he act on his own emotions and be more sceptical of the intentions of other people, while Smitten could encourage Skeptic to feel with his heart! I see Skeptic as the type of person to have a hard time empathising with other people and would rely heavily on his logic to help solve the problem for them instead of simply listening to them (he cares, just doesn’t know how to do it in a way that’s unfamiliar to him/not his nature), so I think having Smitten be there to teach him how to do that would help him greatly. They would probably understand each other in the ending where TLQ kills Shifty’s heart and becomes a god himself, since Skeptic knows what’s it like to not have a grounding presence to catch him (for Smitten it’s the Princess). Him and Cheated would comfort Smitten during those times.

And here’s Beauty and Brawn! Aside from their shared appreciation for the Princess, they are also both really passionate characters who are extremely open with their emotions. Smitten would appreciate Stubborn’s showcase of passion towards the Princess, while Stubborn would see strength and potential in Smitten as an opponent! Stubborn would probably rather head straight ahead towards violence instead of using words like Smitten does, but he likes the guy so what the hell

Stubborn would try to get Smitten to fight him, but Smitten just, doesn’t fight him simply because being violent is really not in his nature (unless Stubborn intentionally gloats him into fighting him)

They would be the duo that hugs and cries together whenever there’s a touching scene playing in a movie

OTP

You already know,,..,,,, (it’s Burned Bridges)

Funnily enough the infamous Burned Grey lines aren’t the reason why I ship them in the first place

It’s the fact that I remembered a line Cold had said about Smitten would one day want the emotions to go away completely despite how strongly those emotions burn at the current moment , and then telling him to trust him on it.

It just. Reveals so much about Cold as a character.

Not only does it imply that Cold isn’t completely emotionless as he oh so often tells us that he is, and that he had felt strong emotions at one point but had chosen to repress them completely due to how much it had hurt him, but it also reveals that he doesn’t seem to hold the same animosity towards Smitten as the other way around (at least, not the level of hatred Smitten holds for him),as he actually gave him advice on the subject matter. He seems to be more amused by Smitten then anything. Burned Grey is a route where Smitten was denied of his purpose with us deciding to kill the Princess, and Cold’s whole thing is about his purpose being denied, and hence the numbing ache in his heart that he desperately wants to fill. So I feel like he would probably understand Smitten in that regard of having his purpose denied. He just, find Smitten’s anger really freaking amusing due to the fact that Smitten is usually really chipper. And also the fact that Anger is the rawest emotion there is.

They would definitely start on rough terms though. With Smitten actually fulfilling his promise on letting Cold feel what he had felt (via hurting Cold) and Cold just becoming more and more interested in how far Smitten would go in his pursuit of vengeance. How far would he go? How low would he stoop? He would love to know, and so he would gloat him more and more and see how he would react.

But knowing Smitten, he would probably get really tired of hurting Cold over and over again. He is. Just not a violent person at heart. His starring chapter two is literally one of the three routes that doesn’t have a chapter one that ends with violence(it technically does but you know what I mean(Damsel, Prisoner, Stranger)). Eventually it would reach a point where he would just tiredly tell Cold off without it ending with violence, and that would make Cold feel surprised about the change in his usual pattern of behaviour. I’d like to think that Cold would be the person to reach Smitten out to soothe him on his hollowness and aimlessness when Smitten would deny him over and over until he eventually lets Cold do his thing (heavily influenced by @pink-november ‘s fic btw) and Smitten coming to a realisation that Cold might not be as emotionless as he thought… and then the two deciding to start over on their relationship and become friends… and then learning that wait, they’re actually quite similar… and then they unknowingly fall for each other for real the more time they spend with each other…. oughhhhh slowburn Burned Bridges my beloved

“Who needs violence when you have love?”

“Who needs love when you’ve mastered yourself?”

Also also, fire and ice, pink and black, pillow and blanket, “hero” and “villain” (but not really), emotional doofus and stoic fella????? ENEMIES TO FRIENDS TO LOVERS SLOWBURN?????? That’s a lot of stuff!!!! (And the comedic whiplash of “GRRRR I HATE YOU!!!!” to them cuddling together is just. Really funny to me ok.)

Again, this ship can either go down an even more toxic route then it already is (yummy toxic yaoi) or it could become something really fluffy and tender. It really depends on what direction the writer wants the ship to go. I’m fine with either though. Both are really fun routes.

NOtp

I don’t really have a NOtp for him tbh,,..,,,,.

RANDOM HEADCANON

I’ve already said this in another post, but I’d like to imagine Smitten would abuse nicknames and name the voices with the positive qualities he sees in them. Also this is a headcanon for the Voices in general, but I’d like to think that he’d struggle acting away from his nature. Much like the Vessels, the Voice’s nature is all they knew. A part of him would always yearn for the presence of the Princess, since she was literally who he was made to love and dote upon. Even though he would feel genuinely happy that TLQ had found his one true love, a part of him would always feel that emptiness She had left behind, and his heart would ache more and more. Broken in Apotheosis had proven that the Voices can in fact grow their perspective and in turn become more complex, so I feel like Smitten would definitely have his own arc as well once the Voices learn to become their own person and not just a singular facet of TLQ (and especially Oppy and Cold but this ain’t about them).

Smitten would be really affectionate with his show of affection (depends on Voice to Voice though!!!! He wouldn’t want to make them feel uncomfortable). If you ask him which showcase of affection his likes most, he would tell you that he loves all shows of affection equally! Love is love and should be showed proud and loud across your heart! He’s the type of guy to casually give platonic smooches on the cheeks (again, depends on Voice to Voice—if the Voice is uncomfortable with smooches, he’d probably just do a handshake or something). He doesn’t really put a line in love. To him, love is just that—love. There is no need to put a line between platonic, familial and romantic love. As long as the parties are comfortable with how that love is expressed, there is no problem!

Also can we all agree he would write the corniest love songs ever?? Thanks (Cold would be amused by him and listens to Smitten perform despite his comment on the corniness of it all ahahahahah anyway)

UNPOPULAR OPINION

I can agree on Smitten not being a d!ck but saying Smitten is completely harmless and lacks any malicious intent is where I have to disagree. I dunno if this is an unpopular opinion though.

Him wanting to hurt someone in the name of love IS malicious intent despite the motivation. And he has proven that can AND will do what he had said that he would do with him literally killing us after we killed Damsel for seemingly no reason. He is love as much as he is emotional.

Also he seems to care more about how you AND the Princess feels more then his own opinions. He reads as a people pleaser to me. He genuinely just wants you and the Princess to be happy, but then that mixing with his own perception that he is supposed to be the knight in shining armour for the Princess makes for a weird complex.

SONG I ASSOCIATE WITH THEM

We Become We, but specifically that one part of the song with HEA Smitten. I do love me some angst.

(Again sorry about the format!!!!!)

Full song: https://youtu.be/hRllUeany_Q?si=AJHdP-dJUHdf-r30

That one part: https://youtu.be/mwnXg6GXCk8?si=G1hzN_EG93ulKAhN

FAVOURITE PICTURE OF THEM

Ohohohohoh I have a couple of those teehee

(I love it when I just draw him like a ball)

[makingspiritualityreal]

Moon Ruled Nakshatras - Consequences of Attention Seeking

A trope very commonly seen in many creations, executed with various contexts and endings, in which the protagonist has his big 3 in Moon Ruled Nakshatras (Rohini, Hasta, Shravana), is the consequence of the Moon ruled Nakshatras following the stage of the Sun.

The Sun is self sufficient and self focused, so full of themselves their light even spills outside. However, in everyone's horoscope, the Sun burns out over time. By the time we reach the Moon Nakshatra stage, we mature to realise that we need, and are attached to other people in our lives, and we won't survive if we don't adapt and don't form relationships.

This brings up the topic of paying attention to people's feelings, that we only discover in the Moon stage. In the Sun stage, as we are learning independence, we don't bother with that and we can come off as insensitive and self centered. The Sun is also an intelligent, logical planet, capable of providing solutions for both oneself and the others. However, by the Moon stage our shine wears off, and we begin to need other people. At the beginning, we try to catch their attention with rational means, but over time human behaviors become increasingly irrational and instinctive, the more desperate we are to get what we need and assert our position. These situations develop differently depending on the Nakshatra, but they always invariably end up the same way.

The Moon Native gets caught in their wrongdoings and suffers consequences for it, being taught a harsh lesson about including the other person's point of view, developing a capacity to empathise and bond through forced circumstances. However, that actually gives the Moon native happiness, as it provides them with what they unconsciously craved all along - stable connection.

In Vedic Astrology, the Moon as a planet is called "lovesick". It has no enemies, because the one quality of the Moon is its constant desire for attention and stimulation. ANY attention will do. Moon is where the saying "negative attention is still attention" originated. The one desire the Moon has is to be constantly surrounded by love and presence. And it will go to any lengths to fulfill that desire, irrationally, and will always, inevitably pay the price for it.

The antidote for a Moon native is either having very secure connections or tapping into their intuitive, psychic abilities.

Below, I will give a brief description of how this process unfolds for each Nakshatra, and give fiction examples.

Rohini Nakshatra - For movie examples, I recommend the Rohini video created by The Hidden Octave on Youtube. There are two paths for these natives. One is obsessive flirting, pathologically seeking attention of multiple romantic and sexual partners, for the sake of feeling constantly adored, but not taking anyone's feelings seriously, which leads to generation of resentment from many people. In anger, these people retaliate on the native, causing their downfall. The productive path here is working with pets or releasing one's urges through creativity or really surrendering to romance, even if just through art or fiction. Introducing more sensuality into already existing relationships can also help.

Hasta Nakshatra - The desire for attention here mostly leads to a tendency towards financial fraud, where tempting people with financial mistakes is yet another call for help. Huge sums of money are in fact a compensation for a desire for true family connections. Still, irresponsible criminal financial activities are always met with a sticky end in this Nakshatra, at the hands of governmental powers. Hasta Lagna Leonardo DiCaprio in "Catch me if you Can" plays a youth turned into a hardened criminal, after he escapes home, heartbroken at the onset of his parents' divorce. He retains a very childish behavior while committing financial fraud crimes, almost as a tantrum, and ultimately calms down when finding a boss and a surrogate father in an FBI agent played by Pushya, avatar of Brihaspati, Tom Hanks. At the same time, crime and cheating is replaced with offering society a useful skill. The real desire here is for an exchange, socialising. It’s a less romantic, more “friendly” expression than Rohini, but equally desirous of connection.

Shravana Nakshatra - I recommend watching the recent Nina Dobrev flick, Shravana Moon "Sick Girl" for this one. It's about a girl who fakes having cancer to draw attention of her close friends and loved ones back to herself. This is the highest expression of the Moon, where the native seeks out attention from groups/media/through faking an illness or through provoking very serious, life threatening situations. Same behavior for Rosamund Pike, Shravana Sun in "Gone Girl", she commits murder and fakes death and victimises herself to feel loved by her husband and parents again. Amanda Bynes in "She's the Man" goes to drastic measures and poses as her brother to get everyone's attention to her misery of having her life career denied. The desire for collective, mass attention here can lead to fame if channeled towards public service, and if one's contribution is genuine. The real desire here is to be part of a close knitted group or fit into some comfortable place in the world, and find oneself surrounded by a group of close ones on a permanent, regular basis.

[idontplaytrack]

Six weeks

Janis ‘Imi’ike x fem! reader

Warnings: MDNI, smut. Coarse language, fluff

Peek into reader & Janis’ life postpartum. Other parts to the series are linked here

Never mind six weeks. You don’t even think you would ever be able to let Janis see you bare anymore. It was that same night, and Dr. Aukai rushed over to check on you as soon as she heard from Maia what had happened. You then found out the on-call doctor was a last resort as she was the first available person that Maia ran into after receiving the message that your doctor was in an emergency c-section. You were deathly afraid to use the bathroom, because you knew for a fact that it would be so much more painful than you were expecting, thanks to the episiotomy. You had a catheter in place at the moment, but it was to be removed soon— after dinner, Maia had said. It was so uncomfortable to even sit, but you weren’t strong enough to stand up or walk for long.

Janis was sitting right beside you in your bed, Kalia was in the nursery while you got some quiet time.

“I’m gonna remove the catheter, alright? You ready?”

You shrugged. “I’m sorry Dr. Kim did that, you have my full support in lodging a formal complaint against her. It was completely her fault for not listening to a patient.”

“It was like she had something against her.” Janis spoke up, you watched Dr. Aukai put on a pair of gloves and heard her tell you to shift your legs apart so she could remove the catheter. “How’s it been with the catheter?”

“Really uncomfortable. It feels like it’s poking me every time I try to sit up straight.”

Aukai winces, “Yeah, some patients have this experience. It’s not pleasant, I know. Your stitches look okay, though.”

“That’s the worst part compared to the catheter.” You admitted, staring at up the ceiling before turning your head to look at Janis instead.

“I’m gonna count to three— deep breath for me on three, alright, hun?”

You nodded, holding onto Janis’ hand hastily. On the third count, you felt a quick stinging pain as the tube got pulled out. Once that was done, she taught you what to do when you had to use the bathroom— including ways to keep the stinging and soreness to a minimum. Even how your diet should be like to help with it. You drifted off to sleep awhile after that. Janis stood right outside the room to talk to Dr. Aukai.

“Like, I get that she’s not a local but, she’s just supposed to be a patient who needs care of a doctor and she just put her through that, plus a more painful recovery because of her opinions?”

“Are you saying—”

“I heard her mumbling some really hurtful names. Haole stood out to me.” Janis scoffed, “Was it really worth it in her opinion to traumatise someone? A first-time mom, no less. Kalia is our rainbow baby. We tried long and hard for her, and I’m not saying that y/n’s experience with the on-call doctor discounts how significant this milestone is for us, but that doctor…ruined y/n’s moment that was supposed to be happy. She’s been holding back tears since she fully stopped crying and I don’t know what to do.”

“Fight for her. The no-episiotomy decision was made weeks ago and Kim failed to do the right thing by her. Failed to read the file and get to know her patient. Maia and Zelda saw everything, they can vouch for you. For y/n. You two can win this.”

“Her sister and my Dad are getting things started, we’re so lucky to have you as our doctor. You didn’t have to listen to that. You’ve already done your job.”

“My job as a doctor is not done until she is no longer under my care. My job as a human being and a fellow mother is to empathise. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how terrifying and painful that must’ve felt. If my wife was in front of me, getting cut open against her will— and she didn’t absolutely need it, I will be so furious. I am so angry for her, for you.”

Dinner was more comfortable for you now that the catheter was removed. You were also starving, now that you were more energised and that the adrenaline has worn off. You wanted. No, needed to eat. The food wasn’t great, but you had no energy to object. Well, it wasn’t terrible either. “Do you want something else?”

You shook your head, “It’s fine.”

Once you picked up your fork again, the hospital room’s door opened. Regina walks in holding a bag of food— home cooked food.

“Dinner has arrived.” Regina walked up the table, removing the contents of the brown paper bag. “Don’t eat the hospital food. You deserve the good stuff.”

“Thanks, Reg.” You smiled slightly.

At least this brought a smile to your face, she thought.

“There’s food for you too.” Regina glances at Janis, “Eat up, both of you.”

Regina hung around until some time after dinner, and you didn’t see Akoni until the day after— the day they were letting you go home. Right now, you were waiting for Dr. Aukai to come by with your release papers plus check your stitches and overall condition before discharging you. Kalia was asleep in the bassinet next to you and Janis.

“She’s so cute.” Janis chuckled to herself, “So tiny.”

“You’re good to go, y/n. I’ll see you and Kalia in six weeks for the first postpartum checkup.” Aukai informed, “Remember, your stitches should heal in three to four weeks. Your body will absorb them, they don’t need to be removed.”

You nodded, fidgeting cautiously on the pillow you had to sit on since you couldn’t put all the pressure directly on your bottom.

“This leaflet tells you what to look out for when you’re home with regards to your stitches and after delivery. If you have any concerns from the time you get home to the time you come see me in six weeks, do not hesitate to call my clinic.”

“Got it.” You answered.

“No sex for six weeks. Might be more time for some moms, and especially since you have stitches.”

“I know.” You nodded, staring at the floor. “Any pain should be helped with ibuprofen. If it doesn’t get better or if for any reason, you are concerned. Please come in.” Dr. Aukai continued. “I’ve talked to your sister and your father to give them a quick rundown, they’re all filled in and told me that they’ve got the legal matters going. So in the meantime, focus on yourself, focus on your baby girl, focus on being in the moment. Everything else is secondary until you recover.”

You decided to walk your way out to the lobby where Akoni was waiting with the car. Goes without saying that it took you pretty much forever. You were almost clinging onto Janis while she held the baby, who was probably still asleep. Regina opened the car door for you and helped you get inside, Janis set the baby down in the car seat that was already set up. Regina sat in the front, and you sat in the back with Janis— and Kalia in between.

The drive home felt like it was too long, but even walking around was a challenge now. You needed quite a bit of help. Your insides felt like they were going to fall out of you, honestly. You were warmly welcomed home by Carl and Grace with a couple of hugs, then Janis helped you to take a shower.

Help, was one word for it. You didn’t want her in the shower with you because you didn’t want her to see you naked after having a baby. And it wasn’t like you weren’t needing any help doing most things, but you toughed it out until you couldn’t. That was when you’d be sitting in bed and just starting into space. Most of the time, that would be when you had to feed Kalia. So as much as your mind emptied itself, holding your baby in your arms pulls you back into the bubble that was reality. There wasn’t any moment of complete silence or peace for you ever since Kalia came into your lives. You’ve been feeling overstimulated as hell and just pushing it aside, your main downtime was at bedtime. Your bedtime. And Janis’, but you had to be awake every 2-3 hours to feed Kalia. All in all, rough.

Six weeks went by, and you were more sleep deprived than ever. You were surprised you even left the house looking slightly presentable. But, it was time for your first postpartum checkup. Walking to the car holding Kalia in your arms, Janis leans over to press a kiss to your cheek and you cringed. You didn’t even hide it. She thought you were in pain.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” You answered quickly, getting seated in the back while Janis drove. The last 42 days have been a major adjustment period and absolutely tested everything you had in you. New sleep hours, mealtimes, new diet, new chores and new responsibilities. Seeing your new reflection in the mirror, you got a shock. The weight, the loose skin, the stretch marks…the moment you managed to see yourself after having Kalia, a frown hung from your face. You’ve been doing everything you could to get started with getting back in shape, but you have lost your confidence. You couldn’t allow yourself to get any sort of affection from Janis. You simply couldn’t see how she was still able to kiss your face, your lips…or tell you that she loved you.

You sure as hell couldn’t right now, you didn’t love yourself. And any moment of peace you got, your mind automatically started to fill itself with noise…with harsh words and thoughts that ran through your brain on a loop. And god did it remind you of high school you all over again. There were moments where you knew it was wrong to think that way, that you knew you had so many people around you who loved you and cared about you. But the negativity won, despite you trying your damn best. So, now you were back to battling with your mind. Only now, it’s got higher stakes. What you choose to do or don’t, affects not just you, and not just Janis, but her family, and your family, and your daughter.

Not that you were no longer seeing your therapist, you were. But you were just going through a rough patch lately. On the way to Dr. Aukai’s clinic, you took the time to send your therapist a quick text to see if she could fit you in for another session this week. If she could, this one you were requesting would be session number two of three. Between the postpartum lifestyle and having to go to your therapist up to three times a week, your days sure seemed busier than you knew deep down it was good for you. You were helping yourself get out of this bad place.

“Everything looks great for you, mama. Pain level’s normal for your current stage and your bleeding has also stopped. As they should be. Plus, Kalia’s growing very well, so…nothing to worry about there.” Dr. Aukai summarised, “Since it’s been six weeks, and given that you’ve healed so seamlessly, plus you don’t have any concerns right now…so I’m giving you the all clear should you feel like you want to engage in any intercourse.”

Right before Aukai ended the session, she asked if you had any questions or concerns. Janis didn’t have any, while you said you did. So, Janis took the hint and waited outside with Kalia.

“I’m all ears, mama. Go ahead.”

“For the last week or so, I’ve been feeling the urge to engage in intercourse come back. But because of the birth and the stitches, I have been so apprehensive because I’m afraid it’ll hurt. And I’m not talking about badly healed, not healed enough type of thing. I’m thinking— you checked me earlier and I’ve healed properly so everything looks fine but what if it just somehow doesn’t feel fine and we don’t know why?”

“Nine of ten mothers I see don’t deal with that sort of pain, but I get your worry because it is still a possibility. Ease into it, go slow and if the pain feels unusual, tell me— either at the next appointment or you can just call.”

“Okay.” You nodded, nervously chewing on your lower lip. “I’ve um, I’ve been working way more closely with my therapist lately… these last six weeks. I feel like I’m back in high school— low moods, low energy, low confidence. I am back to disliking myself…what I see in the mirror. It’s like my body can’t bounce back. I guess my hesitance to do anything, when it comes to intercourse or just intimacy, it’s been harder for me to just feel it, experience it. I dodge, and I hate that I dodge. I just don’t feel like myself and it’s been so much work.”

“Is everything going alright with Gibbs? Or do you want another referral?”

“Yes. I’m getting used to her now. Been with my old therapist back home for so many years, so I needed to adjust.”

“Your feelings are valid. Your body, your mind, everything…had been through a big change. You’re in a new stage of life too, and big change sometimes mean big adjustment is needed. You need to fight back harder. But it’s okay to feel what you feel, sometimes you need to feel it to get through it. Not liking your body now, I feel you. It is so hard to see something so different, so abruptly. But I need you to know this. You have a wonderful village behind you, and you being able to recognise what and why…tells me that you’re aware, and you’re actually pretty damn clear on what’s really what you think and what’s just a ‘dark cloud moment’— like you mentioned before today. Sometimes those voices contradict, but you’ll be okay. Let go of your thoughts, let them float away. Focus on your present, beyond what you see and what you think you see. In mirrors, or in life. Accept help with things you need help with, bask in the fact that you are not alone. Remind yourself that. Feel what you need to feel, ask someone to baby sit Kalia for a couple hours…take a walk with Janis, chat with her, do more…give in to your urge if it feels right. This time can be tough and I know it as a mother myself, it might seem like the last thing you want because of those moments of being unhappy with what you think about your body now, but rekindling that passion, and the closeness might help more than you can imagine currently. This too shall pass, y/n. You are more than your appearances.”

“Thanks, Doc.” You chuckled tearfully, “I really, really appreciate that. I guess I just need to hear it again, from someone. I uh, I meant to ask…why, why do you care so much about me? It’s…I’ve never had a doctor like you.”

“Honey, I was you. I just want to help, as a mother, that instinct is strong. But also as your doctor, as another human being. Look at me now, you got this.”

————

“Jan, I wanna talk to you.” You said while Janis parks the car in the garage.

“Of course, honey. Let’s just head inside?”

After putting Kalia in her crib for a sleep, you and Janis were on the front porch. “I uh, I talked to Dr. Aukai about how…I’ve been feeling regarding by body image and my self-confidence and doubt. I’ve been sharing with Gibbs too, but Aukai actually said things that gave me some clarity instead of dwelling on those feelings even though feeling them and acknowledging them helps.” You looked at Janis, she looked at you…listening so very patiently.

You continued, taking in a deep breath, “Anyway, I uh, mentioned to her that for the last week, I’ve been feeling the urge to…um, get some relief. She suggested that we get a little bit of alone time to work on physical closeness, rekindling the passion and just…focus on each other for a bit instead. I knew that deep inside me, but lately I just don’t have the guts, or the confidence to act on it. But fuck, I really wanna go for it. I’m done being upset, my body’s been through a lot, my mind’s been through a lot. I have been through a lot. But I’m still here, getting the privilege to experience being a mother, being a parent with you. My body’s got me through it all so far, I should be proud of that. I have so much to be proud of. And, gosh…having you by my side through everything. I am so lucky to have my family. Life is so much more than what those voices in my head tell me to focus on.”

Janis’ face relaxed, and she leans in closer, hand cupping your cheek. Her thumb caresses your cheek and her lips tug into a warm smile right before her lips crashed into yours. First, a gentle peck. Then another, and another. Then the kiss deepens according to how you were reacting and responding. This goes on for a good while, easing you into the mood. “To the bedroom?” She asked with a cheeky grin.

“Yes, please.” You muttered, she hoisted you up and carried you to the bedroom then set you down on the bed before quietly shutting and locking the door. She gets back to you, returning to the same position. The heated makeout continued until you showed her that you were ready for more. A tilted neck, fluttering shut eyes, and the slightly heavier breathing. You also fell onto your back, so Janis being cautious laid next to you. “All good?” She asked, gaze worried.

“Mm, yeah.” You mumbled into the kiss before she detached her lips from yours with a wet noise. Janis began to kiss her way down south, leaving a trail of desire in her wake and you an ache that was pooling in between your thighs. Eventually, a forsaken whine falls from your lips. You shocked yourself, but Janis was thrilled.

When your hips bucked, she slid your pants off, hand gliding down onto your cunt, cupping it as her fingertips rubbed your clit over the cloth. You writhed, biting down on your lower lip to keep it quiet. You had a sleeping baby in the crib a few feet away. “Want me to take it off?” Janis asked quietly.

“You can.” You agreed, “Yeah, I want that.”

When the thin fabric got tossed aside, her hands were entirely on your bare skin. You exhaled harshly, feeling her gain a momentum and feeling your arousal grow. At the same time, your nerves kicked in. Nerves about what she’d think seeing you naked after the baby, nerves about whether or not it’d hurt. It’s just been a long time.

Janis started soft and slow, her middle finger moving down towards your entrance and began to push into you. Your breathing hitches, it felt uncomfortable but wasn’t painful. It wasn’t painful until regular movements started. The push and pull motion made you feel pain. At first a twinge, but then you couldn’t ignore it and told her to stop. Shit. You were really hoping that it wouldn’t hurt. “I’m sorry, baby, I’m sorry.” Janis stopped instantly, a soft gasp was heard from her before she apologised over and over. She clambered back up to meet your face, reconnecting your lips.

“I’m okay.” You assured, “Too worked up to forget about it though.”

“You wanna try a vibe?” She asked, kissing you deeply, “Otherwise, from what I recall, my mouth alone works wonders.”

You laughed at that, your focus shifting away from the discomfort from penetration. “I’m fine with both.” You told her, eyes flicking down to meet hers.

“You wanna do both?” She asked, brows raised for a beat.

“Sure.” A grin forms on your face, you captured her lips into your own this time.

“One second.” Janis reached over to the nightstand and opened up a drawer, pulling out a vibrator and inserting a new battery before she powered it on. Laying next to you again, Janis holds the toy up against your clit while making out with you. It was simple, but so goddamn effective. You felt yourself getting closer to your high already.

“Fuck.” You cursed, voice breathy in a way that riled Janis up. She pressed it against the bundle of nerves harder for just a second. You flinched, she laughed, her tongue sticking into your mouth once again like minutes ago re-exploring each and every little crevice of your mouth like it hadn’t done so before. So eager, it was driving you nuts.

“Mm.” Janis chuckled huskily, sending a chill down your spine, “Feel good?” Then, her lips were on your neck after a very swift moment of objection from you. She shut you up by sucking at a specific spot along your neck, just like she always has. You moaned, “Oh, fuck. Fuck.” The vibrations from the toy was steadily bringing you closer and closer to your climax. Your head was spinning with pleasure as it coursed through your veins too. And then you felt that hypothetical coil in your core reaching its breaking point. A lewd noise erupted from your throat, high pitched and needy. It let Janis knew you were so very close…and the woman just deprived you of stimulation from the vibrator like it was a reflex once she heard that noise from you.

You whimpered, going, “Oh, my God.” Panting and squirming, tears pricking at your eyes.

“Hey.” She says softly, kissing you one more time, “It’s okay.”

“Fuck—” You gulped, “I need you.”

Janis stroked your cheek lovingly, kissing you so much that it was like you were a drug. “You’re so stunning, ipo.”

You whined this time, feeling the raging ache between your thighs. The tears welled up again, “I need you.”

Janis resumed her tactic, kissing her way down from your lips to your abdomen. Giving your tummy extra attention and love, peppering kisses across each and every inch while her hands on your sides moved along with her. “My beautiful wife.” She muttered to herself, thumb brushing over a faded stretch mark. You made a noise that sounded like you were trying not to cry, mostly due to that little action of hers and those three words she just said. “You are amazing. This body is amazing. Look at how much of the world we got to see thanks to it, How far our feet managed to carry us. And…I’m only a mother now because of you. Your selfless act, thanks to this body of yours giving our baby her first home. You’re incredible, y/n. You.“

The waterworks began now, you were tearing up and you couldn’t stop it if you tried. Lower and lower, Janis went. Eventually, she stops, lifting your leg and resting it on her shoulder. Then, her tongue darted out and she began lapping up and down your folds. At first in a fixed direction, then erratic and random. The coil in your core wrung itself up again, the pleasure intensified. You honestly weren’t sure how you were keeping this quiet at this point. But you were, mostly because you didn’t want to get caught lest someone came home. Janis only gradually increased her pace, but it was clear she was being careful. “My God—” You cursed in a whisper, “Fuck. Oh, that’s so good.”

You feel Janis smile against you, the strokes of her tongue intentionally slowing down, circling your clit for some time before she kissed your clit. Then she sucks at the nub causing you to gasp. Janis kept at it, going and going until you began throbbing harshly against her mouth. “Oh my God.” You kept mumbling over and over, fingers tangling into her hair. Feeling her right hand grabbing onto your right inner thigh somehow did something to you. Feeling her squeeze the flesh gave you another rush. Right as you arched your back, the movement of her tongue became stronger than ever, then it pressed flat against your clit as a finishing move. Swiftly, her hands found their way to your hips, keeping you stable as you attempted to find your breath. Your chest was heaving, your heart was racing and your eyes? They were all out of focus and blurry. Even your hearing was a mess. “Fuck— mm, sh— shit.” You swallowed thickly, ears now ringing for some reason. Janis’ touch was comforting as her palm caressed your abdomen and settled on your inner thighs— both of them. “You’re okay, honey.” She hummed, “You’re okay. Look at me.” So you did, your eyes flicked downward to look at her. You watch her crawl back up and lay next to you, wiping her mouth and chin off before giving you a sweet kiss, “I love you.” Your fingers comb through your hair as the kiss deepened, “I am so in love with you. No matter what, no matter what life throws at us, you’re still you.”

Then she broke away from the kiss, pulling back to look at you. Her eyes…they mesmerised you. They always did. Made you fall in love with her all over again every time, every single day. The way she looked at you made you believe. Believe that she loved you like she’d said. Now more than ever, you needed this reminder.

“I love you.” You replied, voice slightly shaky. You were trying your best not to cry. You weren’t exactly the quietest crier, and well, Kalia was still asleep, but judging by the time…she’d be awake soon for a feed.

“You want a bath?” Janis asked, pecking your lips, “Or shower?”

You sleepily nodded, “A bath sounds nice.”

“Okay.” Janis held your face in her hand still, the smile doesn’t leave her face just yet, “I’ll go fill the tub. Just wait here.”

“Milk’s in the freezer, just heat it up and feed her if she wakes up while I’m in the bath.”

“I will, baby.” Janis sat up, “Be right back. Just get your clothes ready, hm?”

She quietly exited the bedroom, and you just sat there for awhile, watching Kalia asleep. Shifting closer, you gently stroked her cheek with your pinkie. “Hi, princess.” You mumbled, “I love you.”

She doesn’t even squirm, still soundly asleep. You watched her chest rising and falling consistently with the biggest smile on your face. You were still in awe of your life now despite the moments of uncertainty and anxiety. The good always overpowered the bad, for you, that’s how life’s always been. You just needed to take a deep breath, take a moment to breathe and really listen. Listen to the people around you, not just the voice in your head. Because you definitely didn’t see yourself the way they saw you sometimes. And they were always going to be there to lift you up.

🏷️Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartandstuff @pda128

💭A/N:

Not my best work…🫠🥲

[afinestoutlove]

things i love about heartstopper 6/?

Characters that would be stereotypes in other stories are whole human beings.

Imogen and Isaac are the best examples I think. Imogen would just be the cool girl in another story, a bit ditzy, kind of fun, mostly there for the laughs. Here she is all those things, but she's also a deeply empathetic character, with understandable motivations. Even if you don't love her, you can understand her and sympathise with her. When Nick asks her "Do you ever feel like you're just doing things because everyone else is?", you can see the recognition in her face. That's her whole story across 3 seasons. And you care about her, you empathise with her, and you love her (well, I do), even though (because) she's a walking disaster a lot of the time.

Isaac deserves a whole post to himself (I LOVE HIM) so I'll save most of what I could say about him for that. But the sweet, book-loving, nerdy friend character could so easily be a caricature, and Isaac isn't. He's closer to that in S1, maybe because he was filling the place of Aled who has a whole backstory of his own and they hadn't quite figured out his role yet? But even in S1, his personality is never just book-loving nerd. He's funny and sassy and kind and insightful, and then over the seasons he becomes so much more than that. You can see why his friends love him. You also get a sort of feel for why he's so book-obsessed, when most similar characters "just are" with no real thought beyond "well they're a nerd". I think one of the things I love about his story is that his friends sort of accidentally pigeon-hole him, too, the way other stories often do. And part of his arc is pushing back against that, and them realising they need to do better (and then they do, which is so fucking good, I love them all so much!).

You can see this humanising process with the “villains” of the show, too.

Ben Hope, the worst person in the story (imo), has his main humanising moment in 'Sorry' (I think it was done better in the show than the comic, pls don't come for me). It breaks my heart every time, when that rainbow ocean gets close to his toes and he turns and walks away I wanna cry. Because it's so clear he could have been different, he could have chosen something better for himself and everyone around him. He could have chosen not to be entitled and cruel, and to not inflict his own pain and shame onto others. And he could have chosen this moment to do that too, but he doesn't. He cuts himself off from the possibility of freedom, which means he'll keep hurting other people and himself for who knows how long. (Sebastian Croft did such a good job with this character, he's so believably awful.) It's such a perfect moment. Even though I do feel real empathy and sadness for him, that doesn't make what he did okay and the show is always clear that he's wrong and he needs to be held accountable. Yes, we see that his family and environment led him here, but he could have made a different choice. He could have learnt from Charlie the way Nick did, but instead he tried to destroy all the parts of Charlie that would have helped him. We see Darcy struggling with similar pressures throughout S2, and they make a very different choice from Ben at the end of this same episode. We see how Ben got there, we see him as a full person, and we're never asked to approve of him or minimise the hurt he caused - it's basically spelled out in Ben and Nick's conversation in 'Family':

"I was going through some personal stuff." "I don't care, you hurt him!"

Probably the weakest characters in terms of being humanised are David and Harry. David has the most punchable face, but as the show progresses you can see a little bit of what’s underneath. It doesn’t make you like him and it’s not supposed to. But he’s not just a cardboard cutout. He’s a hurt little boy who, unlike Nick, leaned into the shittiest form of masculinity to try and get the validation he desperately wanted from his dad, and then everyone else. And it shows up irl for so many families. The older sibling who was just that bit older when their parents separated often has a much harder time adjusting, and often compensates in some shitty ways - especially if one of their parents is neglectful/toxic. On first glance, it's wild that Sarah managed to raise such different sons, but the context we get makes so much sense. Yeah, the "my parents are divorced/dad is a dickhead" manchild is a stereotype still, but there is an actual person there.

Harry is similar to David in terms of character, but probably gets the least humanising attention. He and David both like to poke at people until they get a reaction that they can be angry about. Harry gets a little bit of an arc of his own, but he never really gets far from the stereotypical bully - as Tao says, a "rich bellend". There are a couple of moments where you can see a human face underneath, though, if you're looking for it. His face when Nick stands up to him, there's more than just anger there. Or, perhaps, you can see when the anger hits and what's underneath it. You can see what drives his constant poking at people to get a reaction (especially if you've had to deal with assholes like that irl). There's insecurity, and sometimes a weird sense of shock when people snap at him, as though he didn't expect it - that's so true to life as well, and often something that gets left out of this stereotype in other stories. But later on, when he tells Ben he shouldn't call Imogen a bitch, you can also see something else there, the potential to be better, even if it's just for people like Imogen who he's friends with. (Maybe we'll see more of that in S4?) Props to Cormac Hyde-Corrin for those little moments, he did them really well.

I think what’s so valuable about the humanising moments for the “bad guys” of the show, even the tiny ones you have to look for, is that you are supposed to empathise with them to some extent, but you’re never asked to forgive them or absolve them. You understand more about who they are and sometimes why, but they’re still responsible for their choices. That's how people change, right? When we see their humanity and then expect better of them. It’s so important.

[momojedi]

FAREWELL PAIRING: none

GENRE: Angst, Hurt/Comfort WARNING: The Bad Batch S3 Finale spoilers A/N: This is very self-indulgent/OC-based but I guess it could be read as an x Reader story. Its a bit of a way to offer my personal goodbye to the Batch if you will.

MASTERLIST | MOMOJEDI'S 300 FOLLOWER CELEBRATION

"Ah, that must be the final one," I remark, brushing another unruly strand of brown curls from my face as Wrecker stretches beside me, the last crate safely stored aboard my shuttle. "Thank you, Wrecker," I say with heartfelt gratitude, though I wince as I notice him grimace slightly, his injuries from Tantiss still lingering. It took some persuading to accept his help with the crates after Omega's rescue, but eventually, I relented.

Wrecker's booming laughter fills the air, eliciting a subtle grin from me. "Don't worry 'bout it!" he exclaims, clapping a heavy hand on my back, nearly throwing me off balance before we're interrupted by approaching footsteps.

"There you two are," Hunter greets us, accompanied closely by Omega and Crosshair, with Batcher following cheerfully. "How's the packing going?" he inquires, to which I hum, glancing over my shoulder at the shuttle's cargo. "Wrecker just stashed the final crate," I reply with a smile, turning back to them. "I'll be departing shortly."

"Do you have to leave?" Omega's plaintive gaze meets mine, tugging at my heartstrings as she takes my hand. She's grown so much since our first meeting on Kamino during the war, barely reaching my chest then and now almost at my chin's height, the pang of guilt is palpable as I squeeze her hand before enveloping her in a warm hug. With a reassuring murmur, I offer her a smile. "I'll stay in touch, I promise."

"Don't forget about me!" A simultaneous squeal escapes us as Wrecker joins in, lifting us into a tight embrace before setting us back down. Then, the two engage in a playful scuffle with Batcher trailing behind. As I observe them goofing around, a lump forms in my throat. Despite the bittersweet feeling of leaving them behind, my decision remains.

"My father is still out there," I sigh, "I have to find him." The warm hand on my shoulder startles me, and I meet Hunter's hazel eyes. "Regardless of your choices, Pabu will always welcome you," he assures, gesturing towards his siblings. "as will we."

I beam at him, embracing him tightly. Hunter visibly tenses in surprise before he finally returns it. "Thank you," I quietly breathe next to his ear, barely loud enough even for him to hear, yet judging by the tight squeeze he offers, he understood. Then I turn to Crosshair. Despite my apprehension towards him, a curiosity and an un-Jedi-like attachment bordering on romance have always lingered when it came to him. "How's the hand?" I ask, nodding towards the stump of his arm. "It's ... it's healing," he responds with a frown, raising it to show me, yet I find myself drawn to his face, empathising with his internal struggle. I'd seen how he'd scanned his rifle after the mission. With his hand now gone, I can barely imagine how badly he must be questioning his significance as a soldier and sniper at the same time.

"I think you'll be fine," I offer gently, meeting his gaze. It's unusually soft as he watches me carefully, almost thoughtfully. Then, to my surprise, he brushes a stray hair from my face with his healthy hand. "I think you will be, too."

As my departure nears, I bid farewell to the island's inhabitants. Echo had departed to join Rex earlier, leaving me his well wishes. Before I board the shuttle, I halt.

"Oh, Omega!" I call, holding her back before retrieving something from my belt. With a sad smile, my eyes scan over it before I hand her the object. "Perhaps you'll find a better place for this." "Your lightsaber?" Her gasp catches my attention as she takes the lightsaber from me. For a moment, it feels as though a piece of me leaves with it and a peaceful rush fills me knowing a part of me will remain here. "Are you sure?" she asks, and I nod, finding solace in knowing it will be safe with her.

"Yes… I won't need it anymore. That chapter has closed," I explain, flashing her a knowing wink. "Can I trust you with it?" Omega grins. "I'll keep it safe. I think, I have just the spot for it."

Hours later, long after the shuttle has departed, the dim light of the sunset bathes Shep's and Lyanna's home, illuminating its treasures of the past. Tech's goggles catch the light beside Lula, with a silver lightsaber hilt resting nearby.

[the5thcellar]

Hi, I recently stumbled upon your blog and I am so glad I did! While I’m very sorry for all the troll hate you’ve received, I like the sassy way you’re handling them. I’m trying to find the humor in why so many people are pressed and feel like they need to defend something that you haven’t even denied is real. And just because you have a different opinion, they cannot handle it. Reading your responses, and reading the responses of other people with whom I share similar sentiments, has made me laugh and feel better over the last week. I’ve been desperately trying to find other posts/people that have similar vibes because this whole… situation-ship has been a bit much. I also appreciate your reminder that “no matter how good a man seems, trying to justify anything they do is still a sure path to disappointment!” 

I was wondering if you had any thoughts about Luke’s social media lately? I’ve read some points about how messy his social media presence has been handled (or mishandled) over the past year+ and how it did not help with the way everything played out. Also, I feel like he’s either turned on notifs for Nic because he’s been very diligent about liking all her posts, or maybe, he’s finally gotten a team to handle it. I just feel like everyone is in crisis comms mode, trying to wrangle back control. Just genuinely curious because it’s what I’ve been pondering over for the last day or two. Thank you in advance for your time if you answer my ask!

I'm so sorry this took me awhile - I started replying it in the morning on the way to work but decided I needed to gather my thoughts more.

To the first part: I completely empathise with how the entire situation has just been so "much" - it really has. It seems so silly, but somehow, whether or not two people I DON'T KNOW are in love or not in love, are best friends or are not best friends - can affect so much of my mental and emotional wellbeing.

I know I'm being parasocial (it seems to be the internet buzzword of the moment). But let's be clear: almost EVERYONE online - everyone who has written in to my ask box, who has commented, who has liked - everyone on twitter and tiktok who has talked about this - they're all just as parasocial. Because we're all assuming and casting aspersions on people we do not personally know. No one online who engages in discourse has the moral or ethical high ground. We are ALL in the gutter together (that said - I believe the gutter has many levels 😂).

IN ANY CASE - I just want to assure you that what you're feeling is not some atypical affliction. It is normal to feel awful that something you believed in and something you felt happy about is untrue. It is normal to look for other people who feel the same because misery is always better with company. It is normal to feel disappointed even as you remind yourself that men have been useless since the dawn of time.

The best counter to all these sad, awful feelings is to remember that life is a cycle. That life is complex. And although I'm saying this for the millionth time - that life has many, many grey areas.

As a kid I thought Zanessa was everything. Then they broke up, and she got together with Austin whom I hated. For years I seethed at the very mention of them. And after almost a decade... they also broke up. And not even 2 years after that, she's married and with child.

For a long time I also thought Brangelina was everything - you can't imagine my devastation when they divorced and I found out Brad is a complete dirtbag. But at the same time that I felt this horrible upset - I'm sure TONS of other people were feeling vindicated because they were fans of Jen A.

There are just SO MANY other stories like that. I mean come on - JLo and Ben Affleck. On again, off again, finally made it to the altar ... and now they're headed for divorce.

Chris and Mariska - both married to other people for 27 bloody years (or maybe longer) - and still making it very clear they are each others soulmates - and NOT platonic ones btw.

Tony and Kerry - WHAT EVEN ARE THEY? Perhaps the only pair on the internet that has people rooting for cheating and affairs 😂

Lessons: don't let a long term boyfriend stop you from finding a husband. Don't let a husband stop you from finding your soulmate. Don't let your soulmate stop you from engaging in a late, great love affair.

All crazy, contradicting statements distilled from all the above real life stories.

It makes one thing very clear to me: I can believe what I want to believe about Luke and Nicola. Because no one fucking knows what is in the future. They could get together next month. Next year. When they're in their 70s. No one can tell me SHIT about what I believe - not when life is clearly full of incredible twists and turns.

So fuck it. Fuck the haters and the antis and the naysayers. I can ship them till the day I die and no one can tell me any different. Because how could they? They literally canNOT !

To the second part: this is an easy answer and there's no need to think too much into it. Luke's social media has simply undergone an extensive renovation by his agents and team in anticipation of him becoming a big star (whether or not that will actually happen remains to be seen). All highly personal, "non-aesthetic" posts of his have been archived - his posts are all related to work and his coworkers. He has many posts with Nicola because he / his team knows those get the most engagement - and the more engagement he gets, the better the IG algorithm works in his favour to push his OTHER, non-Nicola or Bridgerton related posts to people's feeds. I don't think anyone is in crisis comms mode tbh. Maybe Nicola panicked a bit after she posted that tiktok that everyone took wildly out of context. But beyond that I don't think the wider audience gives af who he's dating - it seems like his personal life is very big news only because we keep searching about it and talking about it and so it feels like EVERYONE is. But if you step outside the online bridgerton fandom bubble ..... no one cares. There is a HEFTY portion of netflix viewers who watch bridgerton without EVER going online to read about the actors.

Long story short I think Nicola and Luke will become even MORE conscious about what they post - but I don't believe there was a crisis in the true sense of the word. And although Luke's team clearly handles his socials he obviously has access to it as well. Btw - all celebs have someone who handles their socials I'm sure Nic does too, just that she's also on her own account a lot. I don't know if Luke has his notifs on for Nicola's posts but even if he does I don't believe his consistent likes mean anything much. I mean...he also diligently likes all of Antonia's posts 😂

Social media isn't much of an indicator of honesty to me ... as someone whose work heavily involves it, everything is curated to a disgusting degree.

What I put more stock in is what we can see - and what we can see of them when they DON'T think about being seen - which is to say, all the unconscious, natural moments between Nicola and Luke - the vibe around them both, and the easy way they breathe and exist together.

That's what makes me such a big believer in their bond.

[bl00dst41ned]

Hellooo. Can you please write a fic where Jobe goes to meet the reader’s family or she goes to meet his family? Or maybe both? Thank you.

*.·:·.✦ family ties ✦.·:·.*

pairing: jobe bellingham x female reader

summary: in which it’s time for Jobe and you to meet one another’s family

author's note: I liked the idea but couldn’t choose so I decided to create a context in order to do both. didn't know how to finish it. taking a little pause to start school, coming back once I'm organized

word count: 1319

You slipped on your pair of White Oreo Jordan 4s as low music played in the room. You finalized your outfit with beaded colorful bracelet and your apple watch. Before getting out of your room, you went to the full body mirror and checked yourself, readjusting your shirt and fixing the little cowlicks in your hair. Once you felt ready, you grabbed your phone and went down to the living room.

Downstairs, your mother walked back and forth between the kitchen and backyard. You went up to help her prep the table. As you did so, you received a message from your boyfriend, Jobe.

Jobe 🪐

We’re here in five

Y/N 🦋

Okay

Are you nervous?

Jobe 🪐

i wish i could disappear rn

you?

Y/N 🦋

I’m silently dying

Jobe 🪐

yeah, we’re ready

Y/N 🦋 liked this message

Seems like neither of you were ready for this moment.

You and Jobe had got together three months ago. It was all going smoothly, the two of you enjoying the beginning of your relationship. But some way your parents found ou about it and immediately wished to meet their daughter’s boyfriend. After a conversation between you two, Jobe agreed to tell his parents about you so that the two families could meet. Which led to now. The Bellinghams were on the way to have a lunch with your family. At first, it didn’t affect you that much but the closer they were to meet, the more nervous you felt. Unfortunately for you, you did not have time to calm down as you watched their family car park in front of your house.

You watched as Jude, Jobe and his parents walked towards the door before ringing the door.

“Go open the door” Your mom raised her voice getting you out of your thoughts.

Without noticing, you had zoned out and stayed immobile. You hurried to the door, taking a deep breath before opening to the wide smiles of Jobe’s parents. You gave one back, translating your shyness, a small voice escaping your mouth greeting them. You then let them in, individually addressing them until it was Jobe’s turn. 

It was very uncomfortable to be watched by your relatives while interacting. You two weren’t big on PDA, especially since it’s still the beginning. As if your brains connected, Jobe bent down to give you a small hug, a hand resting on your back as you had your arm around his neck, leaving a quick kiss on his neck when nobody noticed.

Except for Jude. He sent him a knowing look as if to signal he had seen the intimate moment. It only resulted in earning a glare from his younger brother.

“So you must be Jobe ?” Your dad came out of nowhere, standing straight making you chuckle a bit. He was not frightening at all, just loved to stress his daughter’s boyfriends.

Jobe only nodded not daring to say anything out loud. You could only empathise with him since his mom made her feel the same way.

The conversation between your dad and him was very awkward for you and Jobe. Luckily, the rest of the people were talking with your mom and not paying attention.

Once the introduction ended, you all went to the dining room to enjoy the food your mom made.

-----------------------------------------

It had been almost two hours since the Bellinghams were at your house. Your mom and Denise seemed to get along well. They asked questions about you or Jobe at times but fortunately for you, the whole lunch was not focused on your couple. Until now.

“Oh Y/N, you didn’t tell me how you guys met?”

Both of your eyes widened as you didn’t think they would acknowledge you at all.

“Well, we were at the activity centre together back then and we found ourselves in a groupchat” You simply explained, mentioning your old activity centre hoping that the conversation would shift away to another subject.

“Oh you were at the centre too, Jobe. You remembered her?” Your mom kept on asking questions now to Jobe.

“Yeah” He paused to finish swallowing his food. “She was the only girl that played cars with us boys”

The whole table shared a little laugh now talking about the two of you as kids. The parents took turns into revealing embarrassing moments of your childhoods as you two just laughed, both out of mockery and embarrassment.

“I remember once Jobe was chased by a goose”

You tried to contain the loud laugh that attempted to escape your mouth as Jobe’s mouth dropped.

“Mom we agreed to not talk about this day” Jobe whined as you laughed at him.

“I don’t know why you’re laughing Y/N because it happened to you too” Your dad spoke loudly making sure to be heard by the entire table.

It was now Jobe’s turn to laugh at you as you sent a mean stare to your dad. You were very good at clapping back but your dad was the ultimate champion at violating. He taught you everything you needed to know. Even though you were accustomed to this, it still stung a lot.

You tried to keep a mean facial expression but the smile on your dad’s face only made you smile too.

The rest of the lunch, you talked and got to know each other, the happy atmosphere never leaving.

-----------------------------------------

After lunch time, Denise went to you in order to have a conversation. Your nervousness from earlier came back in a second, having you bite your cheek repeatedly.

You two sat down outside on the outdoor sofa. She could tell you were nervous as she began talking by, firstly reassuring you. 

“I’m not here to threaten you, don’t worry” She spoke as she put her hand on your thigh to calm you down. “There’s nothing that made rubbed me the wrong way about you. You’re nice, funny and look gorgeous. So me talking to you has nothing to do with complaining about you. As long as you stay respectful and don’t hurt my son I’m good. Other than that, you’re welcome in my house with my family, okay?”

Throughout all the time, you could only nod and agree, each word making you more comfortable. Once she finished, you let out a small “Yes” before she pulled you into a warm hug.

While you spoke to Denise, your mom went to talk to Jobe, bringing him to the porch. Jobe instantly went stiff, not knowing what to expect from her.

“Don’t be nervous, I don’t bite” Your mom joked as Jobe tried to chill. “When I found out about you and Y/N, I was a bit skeptical. But her excitement every she went to see you and her coming back with a smile on her face took all my doubts away. She’s smart and knows what she’s doing, and I trust her to do the right choices. Now I need to trust you.” Her tone felt more serious at the last sentence.

“All I’m asking you” She continued “is to promise me to keep that smile on her face, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am” He spoke as confidently as he could at the moment.

She repeated to make sure he stood on his answer, which he did. Once your mom felt like she said what she had to say, they got up and got back inside. He found you seated on the stairs and joined you, putting his arm around your shoulder.

“She wasn’t to harsh with you?” You asked, scared of what your mother could have said.

“Nah, at all. You?”

“No, your mom is so nice”

He nodded and sighed. Meeting each other’s family is a big step in your relationship, and you both were very happy to have overcome it. Having the trust of your relatives meant everything. You now knew you could grow freely in your relationship.

like and repost (hope you enjoyed it besties)

masterlist for more

[fanartist666]

Idk if passenger is really a thing on here or if Barry Sloane gets any love on this app BUT I literally adore that show already.

THIS POST WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR PASSENGER IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT!

Passenger. Oh my fucking GOD. I've watched it so many times. Eddie Wells has altered my brain chemistry. The tears I shed over that sweet, beautiful man.

The way he didn't even remember doing it, but thought he must have done because he was told he did, because everyone else was so fucking sure he'd done it, he believed them. He was branded evil, a monster, a freak, and probably everything else under the sun for something he didn't even remember doing. The guilt he felt. The staggering loneliness in those five years. It isn't discussed but I bet you any money his family didn't go and visit him once. In five fucking years. (I do understand why, I totally understand Joanne, Katie and Lily's motivations but that doesn't make it hurt Eddie any less)

Then he got out, and all he wanted was to be a part of his own family again. He wanted to be a husband and father again. He missed his little girls, he missed his wife. He missed his home.

And what did he find, what was his open and welcoming heart met with? Coldness, tension, conflict. His family is everything to him, and they didn't want anything to do with him. He wanted to bring Joanne a sandwich to her work, just to be nice, and she asked when he was leaving. Later his eldest daughter nearly threw boiling coffee in his face, his little girl, ready to cause him serious harm. A few days after Lily asks if she can tell him a secret.

He looked so delighted to be trusted with one. To be let back in just a little by the baby of his family, his darling baby girl. And she tells him "I wish you were dead." The TEARS I SHED when he looked up at her and visibly broke. (Barry Sloane is fucking slept on as an actor i swear to god, he is literally incredible). You could see something die in his eyes. The resolve when he stood up.

He went to end his life in the icy lake. 'This is what monsters deserve'. And who saved his life? But Jim, his 'victim'. Jim pulled him from a terrible death.

Because he was owed an answer.

Because Eddie was the beast that attacked him for no reason. Because Eddie was evil and did an evil thing, and Jim wanted to know why.

And then it turned out he was fucking innocent.

The whole time, HE DIDN'T FUCKING DO IT. 5 years in prison, in a 6x8 shoebox. For a crime he didn't even commit.

If you've read this far, do you get why he's changed my brain chemistry forever? He was pushed away, shunned, got himself beaten up, nearly killed himself over something he didn't fucking do.

Eddie was broken by the people of Chadder Vale. Even his own family. And none of it was his fault. 5 years stolen from him, his relationship with his family stolen from him, his reputation stolen from him, his life stolen from him.

AND THEN- AND FUCKING THEN- BARRY TWEETS THIS.

THE FUCK YOU MEAN HE HAS HIS DAUGHTER'S BIRTHDAYS ON HIS WRISTS. THE FUCK YOU MEAN HE HAS HIS WIFE'S NAME ON HIS LEFT FOREARM. THE LAYERS OF TRAGEDY IN ONE CHARACTER IN A SIX EPISODE SERIES ON ITVX. I AM A MESS OVER THIS INFORMATION.

HIS FAMILY IS HIS WORLD. CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW MUCH IT WOULD'VE HURT HIM WHEN AFTER ALL THAT TIME THEY REJECTED HIM??

I'm sobbing all over again. Don't even get me started on the 'it felt real, no?' When Joanne rejected his affection so harshly, because my boy was fucking devastated. (Again. I can empathise with her, I do get it, I do understand her point of view. Eddie has just messed my brain up and I adore him.)

Sincerely, I love him. Thank you Barry for him. I'm going to sob in my corner and think about giving Eddie a hug until there's a season 2.

I am never going to be the same.

[ramonahblog]

Fighting the urge to write an Epic Winter rewrite because damn, they had an opportunity and flubbed it by making Daring the beast instead of Rosabella but I don't want to deal with the whole...Epic Winter thing.

Wait, hear me out.

Rosabella gives me big "I know best" energy which is typical for teenage activists but easily leads to talking over and ignoring the people one claims to fight for as well prioritising stuff that...doesn't matter or is very minor.

First off, let's get rid of the aura-thing. Or rather, Rosabella can still see auras but she's mistaken in that it reveals the true character. I'm thinking it's really more of a reliable mood ring but not to fuss on what it actually is. Only that it can't be true-character-reveal thing. I get where it was getting at but no. Unless it does but Rosabella is misinterpreting the meanings? IDK, I just dislike the whole aura-thing as it is with her.

Rosabella, in her attempt to fulfill her mother's destiny, assumes Daring will become a beast because she hyper-focuses on Daring's self-absorbed traits to the point she ignores the times Daring is sincere and caring. She also ignores the fact she isn't close to Daring so she doesn't really know him.

In her attempts to "fix" Daring before he turns into a Beast, she (accidentally!) keeps interfering with his genuine kind moments because he's still Daring about it so she doesn't see them for what they are. He doesn't do them like she does. She's a teenager who has been told she'd be the next Beauty of Beauty and the Beast in an universe that is very There is Only One Right Way To Do Things.

And she's the next Beauty, so she can't be wrong about Daring being beastly, can she? She's the next Beauty, so she's helping, isn't she? She's helping and she's right and she helped keep Rugsy in school and made sure people know ogres just wanted to live their life so she can't be wrong, she can't be.

After all, she's the next Beauty and Daring is obviously her beast so she's helping him. She can't be wrong.

Wakes up one day and oh oops, she's now a beast?

This also fixes the fact that Daring had arcs in Lizzie's Date (deliberately humiliating himself to keep his promise to Lizzie) and Thronecoming that Epic Winter backpedals in a way that doesn't make sense.

This leaves a few possibility in regards to Rosabella's "Beauty".

Daring, who has also recently discovered the destiny he was raised and groomed for isn't his, could be someone that empathises with how Rosabella would feel being blindsided. This would show her that just because Daring's method of kindness isn't the same as hers doesn't mean it's no longer kind. And that it's normal for people to have flaws.

Plus the fact the Daring wait from cowering from his Beastly form to checking himself out in just a matter of words...I'm just saying, no one does that unless a part of them already was, you know?

Whether this is platonic or Daring is her beauty (which part of me is tickled at the idea of a kindhearted but vain beauty) or he is her Beauty but platonically is whatever to me.

There's few downsides to making Daring be this character.

First is Daring's been raised from birth to rescue damsels-in-distress. Granted, Epic Winter is set right after Dragon Games so a Daring choosing to comfort Rosabella is still a choice he would have to make. And have to make at his lowest, (and possibly most humiliated) point.

He's also now aimless, his entire purpose was not his purpose. So the whole thing of what had turned Rosabella into a beast could easily get lost.

I suppose this could be upsides depending on the writer but, for me, this is a downside.

The other downside is that Beauty and the Beast seems to be one of the (or only?) few fairytales in EAH where the girl has to rescue the guy has an expected role to play. By having Daring become "beauty", it kinda flips that to an unexpected but still expected role.

The other possibility:

Cerise.

Hear me out (again).

What better way to say Grimm (and EA in general) insistence of by-the-book follow is wrong than have the character The Rules insistent shouldn't exist and is an abomination for existing be Beauty? Someone whose existence has Hood Hollow vying for her banishment to the point they loophole the whole "banishment has to be unanimous" rule they apparently had.

Which gives me so many questions but is irrelevant to this particular post right now.

Having Cerise, who entire existence is pretty much summed up to "You Should Not Exist" and shies away from people because of it, because she's not meant to exist be the one to comfort and help Rosabella is great.

There's also the fact that it would be more of...a difficult* choice for Cerise to be search out Rosabella and help her than Daring as Daring would at least have his hero training to fall back on even while he's at his lowest point.

That and Epic Winter did have Cerise be the only one to react positively** to Daring's beast form during his Daring Walk. So you know, there's that.

If I do write this, I'm probably going to go with Cerise as Beauty simply because I adore how much of a "screw you" it would be to the whole Destiny&Legacy thing that EAH (in-universe) pushes.

IDK if I will write it. I just wanted to put this out here in case it tickles anyone else's brain and they want to write it or whatever creative form they like.

**Epic Winter AU where Daring turns around and sees Cerise checking him out. I have no further thoughts.

[thesonicpunk]

im gomma vom..... i just watched a satosugu edit on youtube and i..... i have so many feelings about these two. with sns i can imagine a happy ending you know. BUT WITH SATOSUGU THERE IS NO ESCAPE. I feel like geto's actions are unredeemable. even if he hadn't died how could we redeem anything he's done. like he killed his own parents. there is no turning back. i understand him, what motivated his decision, his logic and his journey, but i really struggle with seeing how geto, hidden-inventory-arc-geto, becomes that radicalised (bear in mind i'm a sasuke defender but i think the JJK and Naruto worlds are different in ways that make Sasuke's and Geto's radicalism significantly different). at the same time, because i empathise with him, i respect his decision, and i don't think that it should be taken lightly, or taken away from him (this is something i think gojo feels too, hence never trying to dissuade geto or win him back to his side after that burger king (lol) meeting). so even if Geto was alive, stsg would still be unachievable AND IT FUCKING KILLS ME. sometimes i wanna write fanfic about them being happy and together but then im like... i can't do that without fully denying one of them their wholeness, you know? the decision both geto and gojo make regarding who they are in relation to jujutsu society can't be severed from who they turn out to be as people. please prove me wrong in the tags or reblogs or in the comments or ANYWHERE i need some fucking respite from this hellhole that gege has drawn me into.

[billiuspendragon]

Doctor Who & Mob Psycho/Saiki K crossover rambles

Imagine a crossover between Doctor Who and Mob Psycho 100. Like the TARDIS picks up this signal of a super powerful being in Japan and they go there expecting some kind of monster and it's just a teenage boy.

I feel like Mob would not go along with The Doctor as a companion though, they'd go on maybe one adventure and then he'd be like "I have my friends to go back to now and I was planning to talk to Tsubomi at the end of the year..."

I feel like Mob just doesn't have that curiosity for the universe that would tempt him to leave his family and life, even with the ability to time travel back to the same point he left so that he wouldn't miss anything. He already lives so close to the supernatural. He sees horrendous spirits all the time so I think he would be pretty unfazed by all the aliens and everything. It would be a really interesting dynamic actually because I can imagine he would try to empathise with Daleks and things, but if he were to become a regular companion there would have to be some kind of extraordinary circumstance that would prompt him to leave his life behind.

I did also think about a DW/Saiki K crossover and I think that would be really funny because Saiki and The Doctor are both so aware that They Are The Protagonists, and that would make them butt heads a lot. Saiki would want NOTHING to do with The Doctor, and The Doctor would tease the hell out of him. The Doctor (I'm picturing Eleven here) would be like "You are SO grumpy Mr Grumpy Pants" and Saiki would just be like "and you're annoying. Go away."

I think with Saiki there would be less of a "companion of the day" dynamic and more of a mystery that The Doctor + companion(s) have to solve. His powers are so huge that they have affected all of humanity, plunging them into a timeline where everyone's hair is a weird colour and nothing makes sense. Imagine the mystery building up over the episodes; first they start seeing more and more people with (apparently) dyed hair, then they notice that injuries are disappearing faster than they should, and nobody on Earth seems to notice because they think that's the way it's always been. But of course the TARDIS crew would notice because they've avoided this meddling by time-travelling everywhere. Then they'd travel to 2010's Japan and find this teenage boy just trying desperately to fit in.

I don't know how the episode would end, maybe they would find a way to undo Saiki's changes and this would force him to accept his reality. I still like the idea that Saiki has sub-consciously turned his world into a comedy because he doesn't want to face anything. Saiki would just deflect and deflect and do his usual escaping from the plot, turning everything into a joke for the audience and rolling his eyes, but then towards the end The Doctor would get all serious and help him undo everything and it would be so emotional and I don't think I will ever write it. I will imagine it to death though. Fuck.

[royaljestersfirst]

Fizz & emotional integrity

this is the first of a series of character analysis posts i want to make about Fizz because i think that he’s a very rare representation of a character in great contact with his emotions and quite far in his trauma healing journey. this post turned out to be mostly about s2e6 bc i think it shows up well in conflict. i don't claim that Fizz is communicating in a perfectly healthy way (who does tbh!), but he is very genuine in his feelings and communication and i looove to see that. imo you can absolutely be an emotionally authentic bitch 💅✨

some ppl judged Fizz for being very rude to Blitz and i don't see why that's necessarily a bad thing. he thought that his childhood best friend actually resented him, wanted to hurt/kill him, was not interested in seeing him for 15 years, then crushed his gig and fucked off again. he has no reason to trust or be kind to Blitz, and it’s understandable that he’d want to vent his anger and protect his pride.

what touched me was how he reacted to Blitz saying that's not how things really went. even though he was just furious, he immediately unclenched his fists and paid attention. it shows that Fizz cares a lot about this relationship even after all this time, so he's ready to lower his defenses and try to listen.

he is still angry at the hurt he was caused, at this point he still thinks that Blitz left him after the accident. even then, after hearing that Blitz is remorseful, he deeply empathises. Fizz tries to get where blitz is coming from while not downplaying his own hurt.

without hiding his true feelings, he expresses how important Blitz was to him by saying that he wouldn't be so angry if he stayed by his side. that requires lots of emotional honesty and vulnerability, especially for a traumatized person, especially in conversation with the same person who hurt him.

he honestly says that he can't just forgive and forget everything. however, by talking about being okay now he shows that he may move past it. his words may also ease Blitz's guilt and self-loathing which Fizz empathized with earlier.

after this rollercoaster of emotions, he openly shows how much he appreciates his "former bestie, then lifelong enemy, then recent hero, now newly rekindled sort of friend" (btw the fact that Ozz knows all that shows how much Fizz is communicating about his trauma&emotions with his partner which is sweet).

Fizz is a character who feels a lot and deeply. he is unapologetic about his anger but he also is not embarrassed to show how much he cares. he is ready to confront and process difficult emotions, listen and be vulnerable even when the conversation is hard.

he demonstrates great emotional integrity considering his childhood of conditional "love", physical&mental trauma, abandonment, abuse and exploitation. his ability to stay true to himself after all that speaks volumes about his resilience, his connection with his own emotions, the supportiveness of Ozz, the strength of his childhood bond with Blitz, and perhaps the professionalism of his therapist 😄

anyways what do you all think about his character? do you agree with my interpretation? i love this bitch and love to talk about him 💕

[glazelilysoup]

how you met alhaitham

content: reader is gn, alhaitham is blunt, implied as a spantamad researcher, reader is sleepy, i don't think the house of daena has an upper floor but a girl can pretend, might be ooc, i don't think there are any legitimate warnings, its just fluffy

info: this was supposed to be headcanons with multiple characters, but i got really into it and wrote too much. might do similar concepts with other characters (as originally planned) in the future. i wrote this over the course of 3 days and it was usually at midnight, so it's not the greatest. gets progressively worse the more you read.

word count: 1.4k

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

times like these were enjoyed immensely by both you and the scribe. it often became the most anticipated part of your days. it began with the fact that alhaitham had wanted more space than usual, and as a result, had gone to the largely unoccupied upper floor. there were fewer shelves on these higher floors, largely used for works of fiction. it wasn't often researchers indulged in anything but facts, so the area became frequented by those looking for solitude.

he took note of how every large table had multiple people sitting there- after all, a crowded library will still be crowded even in the most secluded spots- so he walked clear to the other side of the astoundingly huge library. it was a mirror of the other side, the same amount of tables in the same spots. just like before, every table had two or more people at them. he internally scowled before he viewed you in his peripherals. you were at a smaller table, alone, hidden away by a bookshelf.

you looked like you wanted to be alone, with your nose buried so deep in that book of yours- information on irminsul, he noticed. he surmised that wanting to be alone in the company of someone who had the same goal would be preferable to sitting next to someone as annoying as kaveh. he saw the small glance you took at his hand once it rested on the back of the chair, quickly going back to focus on your studying.

"may i sit here?" it was strange to hear the scribe be so quiet, but it was a library after all. you gave a terse nod, one that would have easily been missed had he not been the ever-perceptive scribe.

as time went slowly by, the scribe realised he may not have been as perceptive as he thought. every 50 pages or so, at a good stopping point, he would observe you for a few moments. you looked like you would pass out at any moment. a while later, you had adjusted your posture to have the book flat against the table and your head lingering just above it. not long after, your head was resting on your elbows, arms crossed, with hushed, relaxed breathing the only sound from you. no longer did you turn the pages.

alhaitham pondered his options for a moment. he could wake you up to spare you the embarrassment of being asleep for so long. on the other hand, you had looked very tired. he could let you sleep. he couldn't empathise with your current situation, so he settled to leave you be until either you woke up of your own accord, or until he left.

in all honesty, he was somewhat shocked to find that you were still asleep when he decided to leave. it had been hours, and there were exponentially fewer people than there were when he had arrived. "hey," he frowned when you had not even so much as stirred. he didn't want to be rude, but he resorted to his method of waking up kaveh. he slammed a book down on the table. it instantly proved fruitful as you jumped immediately, squeaking out a small "sorry!" he guessed that this was a more common occurrence than just this time.

"i apologise for the rude awakening. i had tried to wake you up other ways, and they hadn't worked." he found your shy expression and the pink that dusted your cheeks at this revelation to be quite endearing.

"oh lord- it's alright, i shouldn't have fallen asleep. uhm, would you mind telling me what time it is?"

"i believe it's slightly past eight o'clock." that's no good, that's no good at all, you promised your roommate you would make dinner tonight. you scrambled to collect your things, choosing not to notice how he watched you panic.

"thank you for waking me up, but i really must be going now," you didn't make it very far before he stopped you.

"hold on a second. you're still tired, i can see it in the way you move. i don't think it would be wise for you to walk alone in your current state. would you let me see you home safely?" it was truly appalling, the sheer amount of bluntness his words held. your pride told you to refuse because you were fine. but common sense was screaming at you to say yes. tiredness tugged at your eyes, blurring your vision and pulling your eyelids down.

again giving a small nod, but he was perceptive enough to pick up on it. as you exited the library, he asked you something, "i don't think i caught your name," oh, right. with how infamous the scribe was, you had already known him, yet he had no clue who you were.

"oh! it's y/n," he mouthed the word a few times, practising how it rolled off his tongue.

"y/n... i quite like that name," you saw the smallest hint of a smile and could've sworn you were hallucinating.

the next time alhaitham went to the library, he didn't bother with his usual assessment of how busy the library was. instead, he headed directly upstairs to your usual spot. one he got to the table, he didn't bother asking to sit, either. he knew you would let him. it had gone largely the same as last time, you fell asleep after an hour or two, and he had woken you up when he left. he walked you home just as he had before, as well.

those walks were always comforting, and though the sun was setting by the time the two of you left, his presence filled you with warmth.

this routine was repeated most days, and you two became quite good friends, often making thoughtful conversation should you see each other. provided you have free time, of course. unfortunately, alhaitham has been running low on just that recently. his position as the scribe became rather demanding, but you weren't too worried. he always made enough time to reach the library to wake you up, and sometimes he got there early enough to read. he wasn't the kind to keep to a routine, but this particular one gave him a semblance of normalcy that he quite liked.

one day, when he arrived at the house of daena, you were nowhere to be found. he felt a sort of... melancholy wash over him. when you had found him the next day and informed him that you simply hadn't the time to go to the library that day, he was glad that it was just a miscalculation, and that it wasn't any fault of his own. in his subconscious, he felt a pang of guilt for not being there lately. he vowed to arrive a bit earlier from now on.

the next day, alhaitham arrived at the time usually he did before he became incredibly busy. he had sat in the seat directly next to you, instead of across the table like usual. you raised an eyebrow, but didn't question it further. "y/n, would you humour me for a moment?"

humour? that was the last word you expected to come from the scribe's lips at this moment. "i guess it depends on what humouring you entails."

"go on a date with me," you nearly choked on your saliva, he didn't hesitate at all, "i just so happen to find your presence more enjoyable than most. is that such a bad thing?"

"not at all! it was just- unexpected," it took a moment to regain your composure, "i'd love to go on a date with you, 'haitham." he raised a brow at the nickname.

"i'll be here same time tomorrow to get you," and then he brought out his book and started reading as if nothing had just happened. once again, his blunt nature served only to shock and confuse you. after a while, sleep caught up to you, as usual. only this time, you had fallen asleep sitting up. strange, alhaitham thought, you always rested your head on the table when falling asleep. he figured you would adjust to lying on the table soon enough. he soon felt something hit his shoulder. as he looked over, he saw your head on his shoulder.

and although his face showed no change in expression he couldn't help but feel his ears get warmer, and for a split second, he could've sworn his heart ached.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

© glazelilysoup 2023 | do not modify or repost

[dojae-huh]

https://x(.)com/jaedoretsam/status/1872642136396681496

In my mind, Jaehyun stopped addressing Doyoung as “hyung” a long time ago. He only uses it formally in front of the cameras or playfully when he wants to tease Doyoung or get something by acting cute. Perhaps it’s because Jaehyun feels there’s no need for honorifics anymore—they’re in a relationship, equals in their own way.

What’s intriguing is how Doyoung seems to let this slide. He’s known to chastise younger members for speaking informally, yet he doesn’t hold Jaehyun to the same standard. That alone speaks volumes about their dynamic. It’s as if Doyoung no longer sees Jaehyun as a typical dongsaeng. Following JaeDo closely, it’s clear Jaehyun is one of Doyoung’s strongest pillars, and perhaps Doyoung has come to recognize this shift in their relationship. There are moments where Doyoung leans on Jaehyun for support, almost reversing the roles, with Doyoung becoming the “dongsaeng” instead.

I’m also curious how you think Jaehyun and Johnny differ in supporting Doyoung. Doyoung has publicly thanked Johnny several times for being there for him, but it seems like to me, they offer different type of support and stability to Doyoung but I cannot exactly pinpoint how.

Link

There are no moments when Do becomes "dongsaeng", however, he does turn for support to Jae. I spoke about it at length in the past.

Johnny is "there", present. A person to talk to and to hear supportive comments from. Doyoung is an introvert, but he is not a lone wolf, he needs other people and to be seen, his efforts acknowledged, someone to help him to calm down his nerves. Johnny was never in the "children" category, Doyoung doesn't see him as someone to take care of, his protective instinct doesn't switch on. Which means, he can relax as long as Johnny is offering comfort and doesn't ask for something more than company from Doyoung (i.e. doesn't become an aggravating factor himself, which he can) Johnny can listen and empathise, understand, sometimes distract Do from his worries with his antics. For example, there is no point venting to Jungwoo for Do, words come in one ear and exit out of another with him, Do won't feel he was heard. In situations when Doyoung's nervous system will be too shaken, Jaehyun or Johnny can be that "everything will be ok" presence as both of them are more steady mentally, less reactive.

Others can disagree with me, but I'm staying with my opinion that JohnDo were made into friends by circumstances and not because they click splendedly, they both need to adjust to make it work. They are in the same group (on the same submarine) and they are of similar age (including mental age). During working hours members have only each other (plus, as Mark said, it becomes harder and harder to develop strong bonds with outsiders). Johnny has to work to maintain this friendship (he needs it more) as Doyoung himself isn't the one to pursue it more than he generally tries to get along with everyone and make sure people around him are happy, especially neos (DoMark is a star contrast, it's Do who is running after Mark).

The fact that both have history together makes the mutual support more resultative. Staff can say how Do is doing great, but Johnny's words will be more persuasive. Do will believe them as sincere, actually take them in. And a gesture of Johnny taking his time to come to Jeju will also be significant.

Now, Jaehyun. Jaehyun is the other pea in the same pod. It's not just an ear and warm words that he can offer, he can match Doyoung's frequency, slow him down and offer a quite harbour. He is a co-conspirator. Most importantly, he doesn't stroke Do against the fur, their personalities never really clash. Jaehyun is an agreeable person in general, and with Doyoung he is even more motivated to be pleasing, nice and accomodating. Jaehyun offers 5 things that we can observe Do "taking" from others to get better: 1) he is cute and adorable, lifts Do's spirits by his nature alone (Sohee, Mark), 2) he is funny, distracts Do with his antics (Johnny, Jungwoo), 3) he is an attentive "deep" listener (Johnny, Taeyong, Haechan), 4) he is very accomodating, ready to help Do do things and take care of Do when he is spent (Haechan), 5) a steady presence that can reassure or energise Do (in a sense Mark (by working so hard without complaints, staying positive)). Most importantly, Jaehyun is Do's second half by now, basically a part of him. Whatever he does has a bigger impact and better effect. Look at Do learning how to praise and thank himself the way Jae has been doing towards himself for years, heh.

[plantsjustwannahavefun]

I am once again begging Ed stans to understand that it's possible to love Ed and believe he deserves love AND also admit that he mistreated and tormented the crew during the Kraken era. Not only is this possible, this is the position the show wants you to have. You think Izzy deserved everything he got? Fine, whatever, forget about him for a minute. There's a whole crew in there you're supposed to empathise with and feel sympathy for, too. The six of them that Ed actively tried to kill or left for dead, for starters. Pay attention to the crew's experiences and reactions. They're shown to be traumatised, grieving, clinging to disassociation (Frenchie) and nihilism (Archie) as coping mechanisms and suffering from PTSD flashbacks. And, since this type of fans constantly go on about how it's racist to think Ed did anything wrong... what about the fact that a lot of the crew are PoC too? What then?

If you've watched the first 3 episodes of S2 and there was only one person on that ship you felt sorry for, then you're not a fan of OFMD, you're just a fan of Ed in isolation. And if the only way you can love Ed is by denying that he ever did anything wrong, then you're completely missing the point of the show. OFMD never said that people only deserve to be loved if they're morally perfect and flawless. The show doesn't subscribe to the dichotomy of Good vs Bad. Good people can do bad things. They can hurt the ones they love. Even if they didn't mean to, even if they themselves were suffering at the time, it doesn't mean they don't need to take responsibility for their actions or avoid the consequences. Stede didn't mean to hurt Mary and his kids when he left, but he still did. He had legitimate reasons for leaving, he didn't just do it for the lolz, but it was still wrong and Mary was right to be angry at him. And Stede needed to face up to this - not just for their sake but his too. Even though it turned out their lives were better off without him, reconciling with Mary was still crucial for his character development.

It was the same for Ed, it just didn't get handled quite as well due to lack of screentime, but the idea was the same. When Ed realises he'd been cruel to Fang and apologises, he isn't sinking into self-hatred and despair. Quite the contrary, this is a moment of growth for him. Because the fact is, just because you as a human being are inherently worthy of love doesn't mean you can go around hurting everyone and expecting them to put up with you. That's just not how it works. You don't need to be perfect, but you do need to listen to people when they tell you that you hurt them and apologise genuinely and try to be better. The show is very sympathetic to Ed but it does NOT excuse his actions. The crew aren't portrayed as villains or antagonists for being scared and angry at Ed for what he did to them. Even Stede was on their side with this one. If even Stede is able to see things from the crew's POV and have sympathy for them, then you should too. Stede doesn't love Ed because he sees Ed as a pure uwu angel. He loves Ed... because he just does. He loves being around him. They really click together. They have so much in common. That doesn't mean he approves of literally everything Ed has ever done. It just means he loves Ed despite that.