#but as someone who's been bullied before and know the many forms it can take this is something i feel strongly about

[hannahbarberra162]

Who do you think is meaner in bed, Marco or Izo? I think lots of people would (ignorantly) assume he'd be a sub because he's feminine only to get a shock when he flips things on them, but while I think he's a good dom I personally don't see him as being a particularly mean one. I think he'd be good at staying calm and collected and making you feel reeaally embarrassed about how easily you lose composure by comparison. Marco has so much responsibility and steam to blow off I can see it. Division commander, head doctor, has to bully the strongest man in the world into taking his meds, he's gotta take the stress out on someone. Heehee idk

It's so funny you asked this - I was already writing another Mean Marco drabble! I completely agree with you. I think Marco is very tightly wound under that calm facade. He's a doctor dealing with 997 idiots (excluding Izou and Deuce), 1 Portgas D. Ace (he's in his own category), and the Captain is a stubborn old man who won't take his pills.

I do think Izou could come off as a little mean but I agree that he mostly keeps his wits about him. I could see Izou drinking tea and watching while you ride the Sybian, noting the different sounds you make and how they differ from other forms of stimulation. Or Izou teasing you endlessly as you're bound to his bedframe spread eagle, never quite touching where you need him to, agreeing with you that yes, it is quite difficult. And no, he's not going to stop until he's done.

But Marco.

Oh, Marco.

NSFW Drabble, Marco x F!Reader , ~1k (oops), mean but consensual Marco

Stress Ball

“Marco, is - oh, I guess you’re in here alone then,” Tate said, poking her head in Marco’s office. The First Division Commander smiled as he picked his head up from some reports, his red glasses resting on the end of his nose.

“Just me yoi,” he confirmed, setting down the quill he’d been using for note taking. 

“OK, no worries. But are you alright? You looked really worked up before," Tate asked, searching Marco’s face for answers.

“Ah, you know how it is. Too many patients, not enough doctors and nurses,” Marco said with an easy smile. Tate nodded and gave a knowing laugh.

“Yeah, trust me I get it. I just think you have it harder than anyone else on board. You’re in charge of our division, you’re responsible for keeping everyone safe, you’re the primary doctor for the crew, you’re basically the First Mate, and you have to give that stubborn old man all his medicine. If I was you I would have cracked a long time ago. Speaking of, I’ve been looking for - oh, nevermind. Hope you find some kind of stress relief - I can cover for you in a bit if you want to go flying?” Tate offered her longtime friend.

“I appreciate it but there’s no need yoi. I’m buried up to my neck in paperwork and besides, I found a way to blow off some steam earlier. I’m feeling pretty good right now,” Marco said, picking up his quill once more. Tate nodded and smiled, already turning to leave the office.

“Sounds great boss…I’ll go look for her in the baths then, she said she was stressed earlier…” Tate said mostly to herself, her voice getting quieter the further down the hall she went from Marco’s office. He smiled to himself then continued to write, turning the pages slowly and straightening them as needed. After about half an hour, he heard some sounds coming from the slim coat closet set in the adjacent wall. Standing up, he stretched his arms over his head, his toned stomach peeking through as his shirt rode up. Striding over to the closet, he opened the door and enjoyed the sight before his eyes.

You were inside, head moving towards the movement of air. You couldn’t see or hear him, the blindfold and headphones he’d put on you didn’t allow for any light or sound. You were shifting around, trying to find a comfortable position but Marco had ensured there wasn’t one. You were sitting on your poor red bottom on the floor of the closet, your wrists bound to your crossed ankles. The two vibrators that Marco had placed in your holes were still going but at a low hum, your slick fluids dripping down your thighs and into a small puddle on the floor. Marco squatted down next to you, causing you to search once again for the source of the movement. 

The large spider gag prevented you from calling out to him but the drool leaking from your mouth joined the rest of the slick mess you’d been making. He noted that your chest and face were still covered in his cum from earlier as he ran his thumb through the fluids. Placing his coated thumb in your open mouth, your tongue roved over the digit and sucked as much as you could. Pleased, Marco removed your headphones, making your head jerk in his direction.

“You’re being too loud yoi. I can hear you moving around all the way from my desk,” Marco cooed into your ear. He palmed your breasts in his hands, rolling your already pert nipples in his fingers. After only a few moments of pinching and teasing you were panting and straining against the bindings he’d lovingly put on your hours before but making as little noise as you could.

“You wouldn’t want anyone to find you like this, would you yoi? You shook your head rapidly while a blush rose in your cheeks.

“Then you need to be quieter, hm? Let’s see if you can be a good little thing for me,” Marco said affectionately, petting your hair. Reaching into his pocket he removed a heavy chain with teeth clamps on either end. Putting his hand on your back for support, he dipped his head low and nipped and kissed your breast, leaving a trail of hickeys until he reached your nipple. Sucking hard, he laved his tongue over the sensitive bud until your chest was heaving. Pulling away his head with an audible pop, he quickly placed the clamp on your nipple. You whined softly as he repeated the process with your other nipple until both were clamped between the teeth of the metal binding.

“Ah ah. Not so loud or I’ll have to leave the door open yoi. You don’t want the rest of the crew to see how needy you are do you? I think another 30 minutes here would help us both, hm? I’m feeling relaxed already and I’m sure you are too,” Marco said with a grin, pulling on the chain gently. You pushed your chest up to alleviate the pain from the clamps but that caused the large plug in your ass to be ground in further. Marco looked you over, putting his index and middle finger into your fist. 

“Once for green, twice for yellow, three times for red,” he said softly, waiting for your response. You gave him two hard squeezes and he kissed your cheek.

“I felt yellow. Again, just to make sure I got the right one. Once for green, twice for yellow, three times for red,” he repeated. Just as before you squeezed his fingers twice, leaving no room for error. 

 “Doing so well, Doveling, just a little more,” he whispered into your ear. He replaced the headphones, kissed the top of your head and shut the door to the closet. Humming happily he sat down at his desk to finish the last of his paperwork. He’d be done soon and he’d make you come around his cock until you cried for him to stop. That would alleviate your stress, he thought with a grin.

[kiame-sama]

Humans Are Extinct (Yandere!TWST x fem!Reader) Monster AU pt 16

(Azul usually only enters his full Cecaelia form when he is completely submerged in water, as it is hard to move with tentacles out of water. Azul is not the best swimmer, but he makes up for it with how powerful his tentacles are as he can actually do immense damage with them while underwater. There is a small heart shape on his right cheek beneath his eye among the natural dark coloration on his face. He doesn't like this heart very much until the Human points it out, now he thinks it is his best quality because it was enough to draw the attention of the Human in the first place.)

Warnings: yandere, multiple yanderes, platonic and romantic yanderes, bullying, the day of representatives is upon us, Malleus tries, some canon Malleus interests mentioned, unnamed students causing problems, mending some bridges, lending support, light cat vs cat conflict, Dragon, Hellcat, Shinigami, Cervitaur, Nemean Lion, Unicorn, Kelpie, mention of Water Nymph,

~~~~~~~~

This wasn't really how you had expected to spend the day. Through it was interesting at first, after the first hour you and every other companion had already become bored. Every companion except for Malleus.

"This one is a crow gargoyle, made 100 years ago. Out of all the Gargoyles, this is the only one that depicts a crow harpy as a Gargoyle, not to be confused with the crow Harpy Grotesques that line the fencing-"

Grim, Ortho, and Silver were already bored to tears after the long winded introduction to the Gargoyles that lived around Ramschackle as Malleus then moved on to the Gargoyles around the fencing. Honestly, it had been interesting at first to learn about the Gargoyles. Many had history you didn't know and it was always nice to talk to someone about their passions. Given this was the 50th or 51st Gargoyle the Dragon had introduced you to, you were a little bored.

It was while you were envying Grim- who slept soundly in your arms, the both of you atop Silver's back- you heard a strange sound on the wind. The sound was as if there were several voices shouting over one another. As you listened attentively to the sound, you heard a higher pitched cry that made your heart seize.

"What was that?"

"Hmm? That is a Grotesque-"

"No, not the Grotesques, Tsuno, that scream. What was the scream?"

Malleus paused his lecture to listen, Ortho and Silver doing the same before another high-pitched scream split the air again. Silver was first to turn and head towards the direction of the sound, your other two guards easily keeping pace with the Cervitaur. The increased jostling woke Grim who scowled and looked around at whatever was so important to draw your group away from the monotonous Gargoyles.

It wasn't hard to find the source of the sound.

"Come on, you stupid cub! You said you wanted to play, so we are just trying to play! Don't hide from us right after we start playing."

"Leave me alone!"

The crying voice of a young child made your blood boil as you saw the scene playing out in front of you. There were several students you didn't recognize- judging from their arm bands and magestones, they were from Heartslabyul- and they were heckling what seemed to be a young boy who hid in the roots of a tree. It was obvious the boy was crying and the sinister grins on the student's faces told you they had been tormenting him.

"Malleus-"

You didn't even have to finish your sentence before the Dragon acted on your behalf. Clearly the offending students were caught off guard by the sudden and harsh winds that threw them to the ground. They almost seemed ready to fight before they realized it was a less than pleased Malleus Draconia staring them down, the group scattering from the location to try and avoid the wrath of the strongest student among them. It didn't take much for you to memorize their faces, knowing you were due a conversation with Riddle and figuring you could mention their poor behavior to the temperamental Unicorn.

Once the offending students cleared out, you could see the boy better as he cowered among the tree roots. He was wearing a bright yellow shirt that had a few rips and tears in it. His hair was a red to gold gradient that highlighted and complimented his golden ears, tail, and back legs. The young boy was crying and trying to push himself further back into the roots even as Malleus approached, hissing warily at the Dragon and letting out pitiful mewls. He looked like a brighter and happier version of Leona.

"Here, let me try."

The mewling was hurting your heart more than you realized it would as you passed a somewhat displeased Grim to Silver. Malleus didn't allow you to dismount on your own from the Cervitaur's back- your leg was still injured- and instead chose to lift you up with his tail, setting you in the grass in front of the roots the child hid among. Where you wished you could have approached the clearly frightened child on your own, you weren't going to bemoan the fact now.

"It's okay," you began in a soothing tone, your voice taking on a much softer pitch, "they're gone now."

"They- They're gonna come- come back!"

"No, they won't. I can promise you that."

"Stay away!"

You frowned slightly at how clearly afraid the cub was and you shuffled closer, trying to not stress the cub further. He had several scrapes on his soft skin and you couldn't help but feel pity for the clearly frightened child. Honestly, you had half a mind to go straight to Riddle after this and inform the Unicorn of the poor behavior shown by his dormmates. First, you had to make sure the cub was alright.

"Let's try this again, my name is (Y/n) (L/n), what is yours?"

"Ch-Cheka. My name- my name is Cheka."

"Okay, Cheka, where are you supposed to be right now?"

"Unca- Unca said I was- was 'posed to- to stay in the Greenhouse. But it- it's boring there! I just wanted to play..."

"Oh, you poor thing. I'm going to guess those students said they would play with you, but their games weren't very fun, right?"

"They weren't fun at- at all! They kicked and chased me, an-and they yelled at me-!"

The cub cut off with a loud sob and covered his face, crying his little heart out as he curled in on himself. You saw your chance to reach out and grab the cub as he cried, taking it slowly so he could pull away if he wanted to. He didn't fight as you lifted him into your lap, instead he curled against your figure and sobbed into your warm body, seeking comfort and affection after his frightening experience.

"I'm so sorry they did that to you. That isn't fair to do to anyone, especially someone so young."

"They- they hit me, an-and they said I was stupid-! And- and- and then they chased me-!"

You just held the cub and let him cry it out, rubbing his back to soothe him. He seemed like he was around five years old, maybe younger, and he clearly didn't expect anyone to be so cruel to him. Honestly, the more the cub sobbed, the angeier you became at those who dare to hurt him so gleefully. He was just a child, what kind of monsters were they to get off on hurting this poor little cub? Kids could be annoying, sure, but that wasn't an excuse to hurt and terrify them.

"Okay. It's okay now. I won't let them hurt you again, okay?"

"Okay..."

You swayed slightly to try and soothe the cub further, his heartwrenching sobs slowly dying down to sniffles as he cuddled against you. Once the cub has mostly calmed down, he seemed drowsy and low energy. It took a lot of effort to cry so much especially after being so scared.

"Cheka, Honey, where are your parents?"

"Unca is in the greenhouse... I don't know where Dada is... He said I had to stay with Unca, but..."

"Okay. Do you want to go see if we can find Unca or Dada first?"

"I want my Dada..!"

"Alright, let's find Dada. You can stay with us until we find him. We'll make sure those mean students don't bother you again."

"Okay..."

Malleus used his tail once more to lift you and Cheka up, back onto the back of the Cervitaur. Neither he nor Silver seemed put off by the extra weight of the cub. The only one who seemed angry was- surprisingly- Grim.

The little Hellcat's ears were flat on his head and his three pronged tail was lashing in frustration.

"That's my Hooman..."

As he growled, you frowned at the small Hellcat, but you figured he would be less than pleased with the situation. Cats from your world were territorial, especially the males, and now Grim had to compete with Cheka for your affections. He was clearly angry that he was relegated to Silver's arms and not yours as he glared jealously at the younger cub.

"Grim," you started with a gentle but warning tone to the Hellcat, "calm down. Cheka isn't a threat to you."

"Yes, he is. You are my Hooman and that means I should be the one you hold, not that- that cub!"

"Grim, just because we are helping Cheka out doesn't mean you're not my boy anymore. I'm your Hooman, and you're my Grimmy. Okay?"

He was still frowning, but his tail had stopped lashing as he slowly nodded. It was clear he wasn't happy with the situation but he wasn't going to be mean to Cheka either. Now, all you had to do was find Cheka's Dad- who was more than likely a Nemean Lion, judging from Cheka- somewhere on campus.

"Tsuno, is it okay if we pause the Gargoyle excursion for now? I think getting this little one somewhere safe should take priority."

"... The Gargoyles will still be here another day."

"Thank you, Tsuno. You're a good guy."

Malleus seemed to get a somewhat darker tint to his pallid cheeks, his tail curling and waving with your light praise. Cheka finally pulled away from your warm hug, looking around now at the several monster men that stood around the two of you and even at Silver, who you both were riding. His eyes seemed to train on Malleus before returning to you and he almost looked confused, glancing back and forth for a moment.

"Aunta, what are you? You smell like," he paused to sniff at your arms and shoulder, "like a weird Lizard, but you don't look like a Lizard..?"

"Because I'm Human, Cheka."

"Hooman?"

"Close enough."

"Wait, so you're who Dada is here to meet? He said Unca was talking about a Hooman that stays at the school, and that he had to go to a meeting with the Hooman. Mama told Dada to take me along too, and Dada told Unca to watch me while he went to the meeting thingy."

"Okay, so your Dada is one of the representatives. Got it. I'm guessing you're from Sunset Savana?"

"Yeah! That's Dada's Kingdom and it will be my Kingdom some day too!"

"Gotcha. Well, I know where your Dada will be come lunch time, can you wait to see him until then, or do you want to go see him right now?"

"... Well, those meanies aren't here anymore... And you're really nice to me, Aunta, so I can wait to see Dada. Just don't leave me alone again, okay?"

"Okay, I'll stay by your side until we get you back to your Dada."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

~•§•~

Leona slowly woke from a surprisingly peaceful slumber, humming as he came back to consciousness. It was nice to not be woken up for the hundredth time by his nephew. While he slowly woke a question soon floated up in his sleep hazed mind.

Where was the cub?

Usually Cheka's energy was boundless and insatiable in his desire to play, so he should have technically been the one to wake Leona. The fact alone that he wasn't in Leona's immediate line of sight put the Nemean Lion on edge. He didn't fear what his older brother Falena would do to him for losing the cub, he feared what Falena's wife would do.

That fear and concern was what pulled the Lion to his feet and began his increasingly worried search of the greenhouse. There was no trace of the cub.

"Damn that brat! He couldn't just stay in one place for only a few hours?"

Leona snarled as he began the long and arduous task of tracking the cub, following one of countless scent trails in the hopes he could find the Cub before other students did. Most of those at Night Raven College would have a field-day tormenting such a young cub, and he didn't really want to face the wrath of his brother's wife. As annoying as Cheka was, he also didn't want the cub to get hurt because of his negligence.

One thing was for certain though, he would never agree to watch that nuisance again.

~•§•~

Your rag-tag herd made their way through the mirror and into the Heartslabyul domain, Cheka looking around in awe at the many different rose bushes and the large swooping architecture. Malleus took the lead, followed by Silver, and Ortho brought up the back of the group. You were very thankful Ortho was there as he seemed to befriend the little cub easily and the two were able to talk about everything and anything.

Though you thought the cub was absolutely precious- and a certain part of your brain wanted to adopt and keep the cub- you knew he would have to go home eventually. That didn't mean you were going to let the cruelty others showed to him go unanswered, however. Trey and Riddle were both supposed to be at their dorms today, or so Ace told you, so you figured you could visit as promised and tell Riddle about those students.

It didn't take long for you to locate the Unicorn and Kelpie, both were at the Heartslabyul lake. Riddle was laying on the grass on the bank of the Lake and Trey seemed to be swimming in the water. When your group approached, you could have sworn you saw Cater laying across the Kelpie's back. The moment you called out to them there was a loud splash, and you didn't see the Water Nymph anymore.

Part of you wondered if Cater was avoiding you due to what happened with the Wolves, but you weren't going to push to befriend the Nymph either. There were still things left unspoken between the two of you. You were still injured, so he couldn't possibly face you after what he did.

"Hey, Riddle, Trey!"

You waved as your group approached the equine students who both looked surprised at your presence in Heartslabuyl.

Riddle was first to stand to greet you, but it was Trey that caught your attention. Slowly pulling himself out of the water, you saw that his typically white coat was a deep lake-green. Fins protruded from the backs of his front legs and it was clear his back legs were one large fin, reminding you of a Hippocampus from Greek mythology. His tail- which was usually a fine strands of green like his usual hair- was now stringy kelp looking fins that flicked off water.

He seemed to struggle for a moment as he pulled himself onto the bank, but the large tail-fin split back into two legs rather quickly, allowing the Kelpie to stand. Apaprently Trey wasn't just a white horse afterall and seemed to actually be a Kelpie as you knew them. It made you vaguely wonder why Kelpies weren't considered dangerous to you, as your home legends of Kelpies usually depicted them eating Humans.

"(Y/n), it's such a relief to see you," Riddle started, drawing your attention back to him, "when we heard you were injured, I feared the worst."

"So I've heard. Don't relax too soon, there are representatives I have to meet today, and apparently they will be deciding if I get to stay here or not..."

"What? Where will you go if they decide you can't stay?"

"I don't know. All I know if I have to meet with them around lunchtime. Trey, thank you again for the pastries, we thought they were delicious. Papa Hades says 'thank you' as well."

This seemed to make the two startle somewhat as clear shock was on both their faces.

"Wait- Hades? As in, one of the Seven Hades?"

"Yup. He's staying at Ramschackle for a bit."

"I mean, I expected the patron protector of Humans to take an interest in you, but I didn't think the rumors of him being on campus were true."

"Yeah. He's actually really nice. He said Trey's pastries were some of the best he's ever had."

Trey smiled at this, looking somewhat wistful as he glanced away. Honestly, he hadn't expected anyone other than you and Grim to eat the pastries, but it made him happy to know one of the Seven liked his family recipie. Maybe it would be a good thing if the Shinigami decided he wanted more pastries from the family of Kelpies. It could certainly help their profit margins.

"Glad to hear he liked them. Also good to see you, you seem to be in high spirits despite everything-"

Trey cut himself off as he realized you were cuddling what looked like a small Nemean Lion cub, his eyes wide in shock.

"Is that-?"

"This is Cheka, he's a Nemean Lion cub. He came here with his father, but his uncle- who I assume is Leona- was supposed to be watching him. We found him being bullied by a bunch of Heartslabyul students."

This made a certain dark look of anger take over Trey's features and you vaguely recalled Ace telling you about Trey's many younger siblings. No doubt the Kelpie was furious students from his dorm were so keen to bully a literal lost child.

"Point out these rule-breakers and it will be off with their heads!"

~•§•~

Leona was more than a little stressed as he continued to search, finding what seemed to be the remnants of a scuffle outside of the Greenhouse. Several scents he didn't really recognize mixed with Cheka's scent and led to a large gnarled tree. Obviously some students decided to use little Cheka as sport and this genuinely made Leona start to worry.

At first, he was irritated that the cub had not heeded his warning to stay in the Greenhouse, but if others got a hold of him it was possible Cheka was hurt. Leona didn't like Cheka one bit and hated looking after the nuisance of a cub, but he didn't want the little idiot hurt by any means. It would not only make him feel awful, but it meant the women of his house would turn on him for letting the cub wander off.

He tried to take in as much information as he could despite the many different scents present among the tree. There didn't seem to be the smell or presence of blood, so Cheka was not gravely injured before he left the tree. The only conclusive scent he could distinguish among the many was the scent of the his precious little Mousey.

There were worse people who could have found the cub and Leona hoped his Mousey hadn't gone far with Cheka. Of course, that probably meant the overgrown Lizard was with her, one of his scales being enough proof of his presence among the many. Even if his Mousey was a safe bet to leave Cheka with, he still didn't want to get chewed out by his family for not searching for the cub.

Falena wouldn't let him hear the end of it and neither would Falena's wife. There was also the possibility that Cheka could befriend the little Human and put in a good word for Leona. If the Human liked the cub, he could use the boy to get closer to his Mousey in the future. Turns out Cheka may not be so useless after all.

[katiemccabeswife]

Babysitting

Matilda’s x Reader

Word Count: 615

You take the honour of babysitting Harley and Harper.

As the team walked into the entertainment lounge they heard the melody of “Walk the Dinosaur” through the closed door.

“Oi, who’s in there?” Hayley asked, looking around the group of girls for whoever was missing.

“Y/N was watching Harps and Harls, so I assume it’s them,” Katrina answered.

You had tweaked your hamstring in the last game so you were supposed to be resting it for the upcoming game but you raised your hand for babysitting and you were having the time of your life so were Harper and Harley.

Sam, who was leading the group opened the door as the music ended to see you and the two young girls, posing.

“Mumma!” Both of the girls screamed before running towards their mothers.

“What's going on here, Y/N?” Ellie asked with a smile on her face.

“We dance!” Harley yelled from Tameka’s arms.

“Can you show us!?” Kyra yelled from the back of the group.

Harper screamed in delight and ran up towards you, Harley following closely, both girls tugging you back towards the makeshift stage. You got onto your knees so you were level with the young girls, “Do you want me to do it with you or just help from in front?” You asked as you pretended to whisper.

The girls had agreed that you have to do it with them and so you got into your positions before you played the song from the start.

You started facing with your backs to the girls and started bopping your knees before jumping to face the front and clapping your hands above your head. The girls were eating it up, multiple of them had their phones out filming but you did not falter and held a picture perfect smile on your face, Harps and Harls copying you.

As the song built up to the chorus the three of you started popping your chests with your hands on your hips, all three of you put in 100% effort. As the chorus began you followed the steps sung though the song and you were so proud of the girls beside you for remembering all the moves.

The dance continued with the older crowd clapping and wooing before they found you once again in your finishing positions.

The small crowd that had formed cheered loudly and you bent down again to give the girls high fives.

“Thank you!” You and the girls bowed, “We’ll be here all week!” You joked.

Tameka and Katrina came up and thanked you for watching their girls as well as entertaining the team and many of the girls came up and congratulated you on your outstanding performance.

“Best dancer out there,”

“Didn’t know you were that coordinated?”

“How did you move your hips like that?”

We’re only some of the many questions and statements thrown at you. Everyone over all of the social media platforms loved the performance and the girls from Arsenal made sure to message you to borderline bully you.

“Thank you for looking after me, Y/N,” Harley came up and gave you a hug.

You pouted at the cuteness, “You're very welcome my love, thank you for being such a great dance partner.” You kissed her cheek and tickled her sides making her giggle and run away.

Before you could stand from your crouched position Harper came up and tackled you into a hug, “Thank you for teaching me dancing Y/N/N,” She gave you a kiss on the cheek.

“You are ever so welcome, lovely. You were amazing on the dance floor,” You kissed her nose and picked her up and danced with her again as someone had put on more music.

_______________

Sorry it's kinda shit but I've been having major baby fever lately :) Also why does everyone forget about Harley?!

[harukamitsuki]

Ugghh been consuming some bnha stuff and I'm reminded of why I largely prefer fanfiction over the actual story. I have so much hate and pettiness within me. Even so, I am never going to change my mind on how much I hate how bnha is just an amalgamation of wasted potention. Search the definition of wasted potential up and there's just an image of bnha.

I remember watching it as the first season was coming about because it was made by Bones and I just have to watch it in that case. I watched episode one and was so excited.

We have our mc, Midoriya Izuku, being powerless in a world full of quirks.

His childhood friend turned bully, Bakugou Katsuki, is shown to be favoured by literally everyone and this feeds into his ego.

All Might, the number one hero, is jaded and powerless for 21 hours of the day because of a fight nobody knew existed. Izuku is attacked and helpless, but saved by All Might. All Might tells him he can't become a hero. A much needed reality check because Izuku didn't work out a single bit before then and it's so incredibly hard to fight someone who has something you lack.

Then Bakugou is attacked and helpless. Bakugou, who is so much stronger and who people love, is left useless, only able to make the situation worse with his explosions creating a fire hazard. The pro-heroes can't do anything. All Might and Izuku both hate themselves for the part they played and how useless they are. Then Izuku sees how scared Bakugou is. He runs in, inspiring All Might as he mocks himself for breaking Izuku's dream yet forgetting the core of heroism.

Then, after all is said and done, All Might goes back to Izuku. And he tells him he can become a hero.

...

Then he offers him One for All. Now, when I was watching this for the first time, I was so disappointed. You set up a powerless mc in a world full of powers and you just give him the power of the strongest hero? Great. But, I kept watching.

I watched Izuku work to get his power, struggle even after getting a quirk. I watched as Izuku finally stood up for himself and win against Bakugou. I watched as the series went on and I... I started noticing more and more missed opportunities.

See, bnha is supposed to be a zero to hero story. It's supposed to be about the mc going from powerless to powerful. But it does it so quickly. Suddenly, it's not about Izuku finding his own form of strength, or realising how being quirkless may not give any advantages but it also has no disadvantages, or even any commentary on quirk discrimination or fantastic racism or anything.

It turns into a story about controlling your power. It's not what I signed up for.

That's just one missed potential. There's so many more. Horikoshi clearly tries to make some commentary on quirk discrimination and female heroes/sexism in the workplace and entertainment over peace. There's some effort put into making a comment on how heroes are glorified and people don't see them as public workers, they see them as celebreties.

But it's never delved into. We don't see how bad people with mutant or 'villainous' quirks are treated, and we don't see how people with weak quirks are treated, or how the quirkless are treated (because the only reason Izuku was treated so horribly was because of Bakugou). We don't see how female heroes need to have a bit of allure in their personas to have any sort of support.

Yuuei is literally a camp for making child soldiers, yet there's no controversy over it? There's no such things as heroes having to take lethal action and no moral dilemmas over it? There's nobody speaking out about how Midnight flirts with students?

We have literally no information about how heroes work. We don't know how their salaries are decided, how they're ranked, how undergound heroes work. if twilight heroes are a thing, how anybody but Rock Lock feels about bringing children into adult matters, (seriously, why do people hate Rock Lock for being rightfully worried about having 15 year olds in a raid against the yakuza), we don't know how villains work and how to decide if one's a criminal or a villain.

Heck, the only laws we know of are fanon, and the canon stupid idea that you can't use your quirk in self-defense.

It's just. Incredibly infuriating.

Also, analysis as a whole is so under-utilised. Both Izuku and Shigaraki are deemed creepy for their analysis, which is such a useful tool. I mean, Izuku accurately guesses Stain's quirk, which is useful because, otherwise, they wouldn't be wary about Stain licking their blood or cutting them. Shigaraki accurately guesses the time intervals between Aizawa's blinks, which helps him a shit ton.

But is it ever used outside of these situations? No. The thing is, quirks are scientific in nature, not magic. Therefore, they're not restricted like magic is. Fire doesn't always have to be fire, it can be smoke or just heat. Ice can be water or steam. Acid can melt through anything or just be used as a mario kart banana peel.

There was so much missed potential and that's exactly why there's so much fan content.

Horikoshi leaves so much out, and everything he misses tends to be the interesting parts. He willfully explains Bakugou's quirk in detail, but everyone else? Nah. Fuck them.

I mean, let's look at Ochako's quirk.

Gravity negation. Or is it? See, if it were just gravity negation, then two things, in particular, would happen. First of all, Izuku would have fucking died when she saved him from falling. Second of all, she would not have been able to get infinity in the ball throw.

Negating gravity does not negate the forces. Therefore, when she saved Izuku from falling, he would have still been affected by the force of his fall. It would have been no different from hitting the concrete. Additionally, when she threw the ball, it kept going. Air drag would have made it so that she couldn't possibly get an infinity.

More accurately, rather than force negation as some fanfics suggests, she's telekinetically accelerating whatever she touches. She telekinetically accelerates Izuku's body to stop him falling, and does the reverse for the ball, making it so that it continues to accelerate after she throws it.

See what I mean? Because Horikoshi gave Bakugou's quirk a scientific explanation with him sweating a nitroglycerin-like substance and being able to spark it, you have to look at every quirk with scientific knowledge. He could have said 'oh, yeah, I store energy from my quirk in these gauntlets' but Hori just had to be a smartass.

By the way, because of Bakugou's explanation, it's possible that his quirk is not what is named. Yes, it's possible to have two sides of a quirk, as we see in Shouto, but Bakugou's quirk isn't explained in the same way.

Rather than his quirk being creating explosions, his quirk is more like creating sparks in his palms. Why? Well, you see. Bnha never delves into actual quirk theory, but there's more than enough canon evidence that you have one main quirk and then one or more quirk mutations. For example, Ashido Mina's quirk is secreting acid that she can manipulate the acidity and viscocity of. Her appearance is not related to her quirk at all, meaning it's a quirk mutation from her parents. Same with Tokoyami Fumikage. Quirk is Dark Shadow, so there's no need for the bird head.

Why does this relate to Bakugou? Let me explain: Bakugou explains that he recieved a mutation from his parents with his mother secreting glycerin and his father sweating acid with combustive properties. In other words, Bakugou inherited nitroglycerin-like sweat from his parents, but his actual quirk is being able to create sparks.

His quirk is 'Sparks'. Not Explosions.

Why am I ranting about this? Because bnha completely misses all of this! It makes no sense which is a shame because the concept is so interesting! But then it throws away any scraps of potential left when it becomes 'My Kacchan Academia'.

Seriously, why do people and why does Horikoshi love abusive pieces of shit so much? Why did he throw away the potential to look into Shouto and his siblings' feeling about Endeavour? Why did he make Dabi's plot all about Endeavour instead of Shouto?

It's so easy to compare the ways Dabi and Shouto handle their trauma and their ways of revenge. It's so easy to look at Dabi and think about how easy it would have been for Shouto to become like him.

Shouto was transfixed on Endeavour. Everything he did related back to his hate for Endeavour. Using his quirk, fighting, grades, social interaction, everything. His only reason for becoming a hero is to spite Endeavour. It's only because Izuku reaches out to him and saves him from his own toxic mindset that he's able to move one and do things for himself.

Dabi, or Touya, on the other hand, doesn't get that. He doesn't get that person who recognises how far he's gone, how, in trying to spite Enveavour, he's living a life centred on him. How he's jealous of his little brother for being abused and tormented.

While Shouto became a hero to spite Endeavour, Dabi became a villain.

They're both full of hatred at first, but Shouto is saved from that spiral. Izuku helps him. Dabi doesn't have that. It would have been so interesting to see these two face of as parellels, but nope. It's all about Endeavour. Shouto is nothing more than an accessory.

I understand Dabi being hung up on Endeavour, but to outright replace Shouto with the abusive flaming trashbag? No.

Also, if Horikoshi wanted Dabi to be seen as sympathetic or redeemable, don't make him kill innocent people. Don't make it so that he unlocks an ice aspect to his quirk in a life-or-death situation because all that means is that Endeavour was right to hurt Touya the way he did. All that says is Endeavour should have hurt him more.

AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON BAKUGOU.

This piece of shit bullied Izuku relentlessly for years, used his quirk on him (yes that is canon), told him to end his life, tried to assault him in Yuuei, tried to kill him, threw a tantrum at an abused kid for not being magically okay with using a quirk that reminded him of his abusive father, assaults Izuku when he tries to work together but still magically gets a pass for being carried out unconcious which Sero was failed for, and the list just keeps growing.

Oh, but my bad. He has a sad backstory. You see, he fell in a river.

[heartfullofleeches]

Ok, but can we talk about Erin with a darling who's just sweet as pie to him? Just, every threat or insult is met with kind words and love and our boi is conflicted. On one hand, he knows they love him, on the other, please just fucking step on him he's this close to begging for it

Imagine him opening up to them and off-handedly making a self-deprecating joke when he hears a snap. The pencil in his darling's hand is crushed and the hand that once held it is now wrapped around his throat "If I hear any more of that talk about my wonderful boyfriend I might just have to beat some sense into you"

is this anything? Fuck if I know, but it was in my head and now it's in yours!

[Male Yan Bully + G.N Reader] (warnings: choking, masochism)

Erin knew he wasn't the greatest guy around.

Petty theft, belittling and fighting with his peers, and his tendency to fly off the handle for the smallest issue already gave him a poor rep with locals. Things only got worse when you came into the picture. Everything about you was the polar opposite to himself. When he insulted you upon first meeting you asked if he was feeling well. When he finally came to accept his feelings and told you the two of you were dating without any previous attempts to win you over, you just smiled and asked him where to meet him for lunch.

Threats towards yourself and others where brushed off with a laugh. They toned down once you began dating, but Erin couldn't help but press you at times out of sheer confusion that you actually seemed to be enjoying time spent with him. It's not let you had many others with him harassing anyone who gets too close, but you never complained- even liking the silence. You patched him up after every scuffle and didn't ask how the began or ended. He doesn't understand you at all, but finds it hard to function without you. He can't wrap his head around it.

"Why do you like me?"

Heart printed bandage in hand, your passive expression scrunches with worry over your boyfriend's words. You place it over his blistered knuckles. "What are you going about now, Rin? I don't just like you and you know that."

Erin chews his lips, shying away from your concerned scare. "Yea, I know, but it just makes even less since if you ask me. It's pretty common knowledge that I'm not exactly a model citizen. For Christ's sake I've been hard on you before and still am. I can't control these things about me and when I see you around other people I just.... You're probably better off with someone else.

"Soooo.. what I'm hearing is you're saying I'm not good at choosing partners?"

"Ugh- this isn't about you, Y/n. I'm trying to be serious for once. Hrk!- "

Spit and a choked string of obscenities fall from Erin's lips as a hand clasps firm around his throat. Your nails stab his beating flesh as his pulse increases. He struggles for a word, but is unable to form his lips to speak as he gasps

"Oh yes it is. If my boyfriend is doubting his position I'm obviously not doing something right. I thought loved me too Rin."

His eyes shoot to the protruding veins of your wrist as your fingers lock in place, pressing down on his trachea. He blinks away tears - broken by you even thinking you're part of the problem. You snap your fingers to regain his fleeting attention.

"Hey!- Eyes up here. It's true you could use some temper adjustments, and you think with your fist but you have a good head on your shoulders and such a big heart. I've seen it when you knocked on every door in my neighborhood because I was out sick and you forgot my address. I've felt it everytime you've kissed and held me. You're my boyfriend, Rinny. Don't make me knock some sense into you - got it?"

Erin dips his head to signal a nod. He longs to take your words to heart, but it's easier said than done with you fulfilling a fantasy he wouldn't confess to even on his death bed. He dreamt about what it would be like to have such caring hands be the cause of his destruction. He couldn't pry himself out of your grip even if he wanted to. It was better than anything this fucked mind could make up.

"Rinny~ I need words. You're gonna make me cry if you keep bullying me like this."

His heart jumps at the playful nickname. " 'm yours....promise... all yours."

Your smile returns - pressed to his cheek as you kiss his skin. "Good. Now that that's over, want some help with that?"

Erin holds his knees together, pulling his jacket over his crotch. "Shut it."

[websterss]

HOW TO BREAK A GIRL'S HEART — TOM HOLLAND

REQUEST: I don’t know if you’re that type of person who takes requests but I had an idea with tom holland where he’s the stereotypical jock and you’re the nerdy girl but here’s the thing you’re also diagnosed with cancer and he keeps bullying you every single day of the week until when he figures out you have cancer then he starts to feel guilty and starts to fall for you, but you try to be sympathetic by saying that it’s not his fault for all of this and etc just a thought by the way.

WARNING(S): Angst, mentions of cancer, fluff at the end, teasing, name-calling, bullying.

WORD COUNT: 19,121 :)

PAIRING: Tom Holland x Sick!Reader

A/N: I hope you enjoy it! Old repost! Feedback is always welcomed. Also be nice, 16 year old me wrote this, but I gave it more structure lmfao but it was kind of sweet to read some of my old works lol. This was honestly one of the better ones I found.

MASTERLIST

Growing up you had made it your life's mission to try to find a way to get through school. That mission involved trying to make friends and make the best out of everything, which now seemed like a wish you could only dream of. School felt like it never got any easier. Throughout it, you realize who were your true friends and who weren’t at all.

Especially when high school rolled around the corner. You got teased and picked on a lot more. You liked to think it was because you were sick. You had cancer, and as much as you hated it your mom had been hesitant about letting you attend school. She was scared something bad was going to happen. You didn’t have anyone to have your back. You didn’t have many friends.

Unless you counted your mere acquaintances, but you hardly ever spoke to them. You were pretty much alone, and as much as you wanted to believe that you got picked on because you were sick. You were wrong because no one knew. No one knew you were sick and they teased and picked on you because of who you were and how you carried yourself, it had nothing to do with you being sick.

-

Monday.

You were in front of your locker reading your favorite book, Jane Eyre. Your locker’s door blocked any view of anyone who could come up from your right. You quickly got startled when Tom appeared. He slammed the door against the wall of lockers to your right and then leaned against it.

You bookmarked your page before putting it in your locker face down. Tom’s signature smirk plastered on his lips.

“Oh hi, Tom.” You smiled nervously not knowing why he decided to approach you.

Tom never really approached anyone outside of his inner circle of friends. Being the star quarterback gave him leverage around the school, plus made him quite popular. Everyone knew who he was. So for him to approach you, someone who liked to keep to herself, and was at the bottom of the status level, it was a little surprising. You weren’t sure of what he wanted but you were about to find out.

“Can I help you?”

“I was just curious. Where did you get your sweater?” Tom said as if he was curious.

“My sweater? Oh, my mom bought it for me, it actu-” 

Tom raised his hand to stop you. “I wasn’t actually interested, but nice to know mommy’s the one dressing you up for school.” He started laughing.

“Oh um, I–” You sputtered.

“I, uh, eh.” He mocked you. “Is there something wrong? Cat got your tongue sweetheart?”

“Is that all you wanted?” You muttered softly while you played with the hem of your sleeve.

Tom’s gaze lingered on you for a minute before he shot a glance behind your shoulder looking over at his buddies and his girlfriend who were laughing. The laugh was directed at you. They thought of you as a joke.

“Yeah…that’s all.” He brushed whatever he was feeling off and brought himself to let a laugh emit past his lips. His shoulder brushed yours as he began walking away, the contact causing you to fall into the lockers a bit. You followed his retreating form back to his friends. They were already staring at you, what else was new?

You turned back to your locker, grabbed your book, and placed it in your backpack. It wasn’t too long before the bell rang for your next class. Your class was in the direction where Tom and his friends were standing. You began walking, taking one step after another until you were close to them, that’s when you began walking by them faster. As you hurried along, you didn’t notice Tom’s girlfriend extending out her foot, which had you tripping over it in an instant. Your knees hit the ground harshly, the stinging of the pain flowing through your legs. As harsh as your landing was, the rest of the student body laughing at you was much harsher.

“What a joke!” Tom’s girlfriend laughed along with everyone else.

You gathered yourself onto your feet and quickly moved through the hallway away from everyone’s finger-pointing and cackling. Once you reached your class you felt like you could finally breathe again. You gave your focus on what you had been learning that day in class.

-

Tuesday.

As the next day came around you did your very best to avoid the jocks altogether. Mostly Tom. Who knew the star quarterback was a total jerk? Was jerk even enough to describe him? You shook your head at the thought as you tried to focus your attention back on your book. It was your fathers who passed away before your senior year. It seemed as though the book was the only thing that made him a part of you still. He still was, in your heart at least.

He read you the book every night before bedtime. Now all you could do was read it over and over again. As soon as you were down to the very last word of the page you were on, the book was swiped from your hands. Bringing you back from your inner thoughts you looked up to find

Tom. You looked up from your empty hands. You were never one to make a scene so all you did was sit on the floor there looking at him with furrowed brows.

“C-Can I have my book back please?” You muttered. You started playing with the hem of your sleeve again.

“Why don’t you come and get it.” Tom smirked as he started walking backwards. You looked at him worried. You glanced around noticing everyone in the library was minding their own business. There wasn’t anyone in the aisle you were in.

He wanted you to chase him, and you were under strict instructions from the doctor to not do any physical activities. Running included.

“I-I can’t, please can I just have my book back?” You pleaded softly as you stood up and stepped closer to him only to have him take one step back.

“Fine, you want your book…” Tom lifted his arm and threw it over your head. You turned around quickly. Standing behind you was a buddy of Tom’s with your book in his hands. You were shocked and outnumbered at this point.

“Can I please have my book back?” You stared at Tom’s friend with pleading eyes.

“Since you asked so nicely.” He smiled then threw the book over your head again. Tom caught it while laughing. The two of them continued this childish game of monkey in the middle.

The only thing you could feel and think at that moment was why…Why me?

“Tom please!” You begged this time. “I’ll do whatever you want just please hand it back…please.” You sighed in defeat.

Watching your shoulders slump down, Tom paused. His arm went back down. “Anything?” He asked with a hint of curiosity and something else you couldn’t pinpoint.

“Y-Yes.” You hesitate but answer him.

“Alright…” He smirked as he walked closer to you. “Kiss me.” He smirked cockily. “W-What?” You looked at him startled by his request.

“I’ll give you your book back if you kiss me.” Tom kept smirking.

“Don’t you have a girlfriend?” You asked, incredulous.

“Don't you want your book back, Y/n?”

“Yes.” Your voice was small.

It was just a kiss, right? No harm no foul.

Tom stood still as you took a step forward and placed your hands on his shoulder. You gulped nervously before leaning in to kiss him. You closed your eyes tightly as you pressed your lips to his slowly. Something inside Tom caused him to flutter his eyes and place his hands on your waist. The kiss only lasted for a minute, but that didn’t help the way Tom felt his stomach do flips.

Tom pulled back first watching the way your eyes were still closed and how your lips looked inviting. You opened your e/c eyes. Yes e/c, that’s what Tom immediately noticed about them. Then his gaze quickly averted behind you to Harrison, who was giving him a questioning look, and the very reason for teasing you came flooding back into his head.

Tom licked his lips and scoffed to play off what just happened. “You’re so easy.” He began laughing and handed you your book.

You grabbed it from his hand and curled it into your chest. “Thanks.” You glanced down at your feet.

“Yeah, whatever.” Tom shook his head and walked off with Harrison.

You slowly stopped at the end of the aisle and peeked to see Tom meet his girlfriend at the entrance of the library with a kiss. You watched him take her hand and head upstairs to the second floor of the library with smirks on their faces.

You sighed as you took your seat on the carpet again and began reading where you left off. This time without any interruptions.

-

Wednesday.

You were at lunch eating by yourself when Tom’s girlfriend approached you along with her little clique behind her. You were reading your dad’s book when you noticed her. You wanted to do everything you could to make yourself invisible, but the grip on her smoothie was making you anxious.

You placed your bookmark back on the page you were reading and gave her your attention. “Can I help you?” You asked her softly.

“Actually, you can.” Harper sat down in front of you with a smile that screamed trouble.

“O-Okay.”

Awe she’s adorable, Harper thought. “So Sally-” She started.

“It’s Y/n.” You laughed nervously.

“Whatever. Look I know you’re a sweet girl and all, but you sure do lead people on. Making them believe you’re all innocent.” She put her hands together on the table.

“W-What?” You shrunk a little. “What are you talking-” You began but she cut you off.

-

“Hey Tom, what’s Harper doing with the freak?” Harrison pointed out motioning over Tom’s shoulder.

“What?” Tom furrowed his brows and turned around in his seat. That’s when he saw his girlfriend seated in front of you. His heart dropped a little, but he didn’t let anyone see that. “Who knows…she’s probably helping the poor girl out. She’s got to update that wardrobe of hers. Harper's probably just giving her some pointers, right?” He chuckled bumping shoulders with his buddy on his right.

“You're probably right. That sweater does hide her well. You think she’s got any?” Harrison laughed.

“Got what?” Tom asked.

“You know…” Harrison made a gesture over his chest.

“Harrison, no mate, just no. Quit being a perv you div. Your mother taught you better than that.” Tom shook his head

“I’m just saying…” Harrison raised his hands in surrender.

-

“-So a little birdy told me about your little stunt in the library. I’m not one to get jealous seeing as there is no one good enough for my Tommy, but I do get mad when little girls like you think you can take our boyfriends.” Harper stared you down.

“No, no, look you got it all wrong. He tricked me, he kissed me first. I would never do that. I’m not like that!” You began rambling already feeling like this whole conversation was going to take a turn.

“That’s the thing though, you all say the same thing before you pounce…” She trailed off before standing up, and right as she turned her back for a second, she said. “Oh yeah, one more thing...” Harper swirled around and threw the smoothie at you. The contents spilling all over you, and your book.

You gasped as you tried wiping the drink away from your eyes. It started stinging and irritating your eyes quickly. You stood up slowly, but even that caused you to slip a little. You finally looked up, and at that moment you wished you hadn’t. Half of the student body was either staring at you or taking a video of you. The rest were laughing at you. Your eyes stopped on a certain someone, and all they could do was stare at you. You averted your gaze back to Harper.

“I-I’m sorry.” Your voice grew small. You didn’t care anymore that phones were flashing at you or that people were cackling at you again.

“I’m not.” Harper laughed.

You quickly turned your head to collect your bag, and as you did so. Harper snatched the book from the table and hid it behind her back. You turned back and left without saying another word. Harper waved you goodbye, laughing as you slipped again right before exiting the cafeteria. “That should keep her away.”

“Nice one Harper.”

“Maybe she'll rethink her intentions before she kisses Tom again.” She giggled and walked towards Tom.

“Hey, baby.” She placed herself on his lap and kissed him deeply. “Did you see that freakshow, my goodness what a joke.” She laughed as Tom wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Don’t you think you went a little too far?” Tom tilted his head.

“Of course not, besides, I had to let her know who you belong to.” She leaned forward and caught his lower lip with her teeth biting on them gently before pulling back.

Harper smiled and turned her gaze to Harrison. “Hey, Harrison, happy birthday.” She giggled as she threw him your book.

“It’s not my birthday, though,” Harrison said. Tom quickly recognized it and grabbed it.

“You took her book?” He furrowed his brows in question.

“I don’t know, the freak left it behind. Did you see her face? I got her so good!” Harper's eyes widened. A smile dawning her features.

“Yeah, I did, hey why don’t I take it and the next time I get her alone, I’ll taunt her with it.” He turned to Harper.

“Oh, that's a good idea.” Harper got off his lap. “I’ll see you in a bit?”

“Yeah, I just remembered I have to go do something. Sorry, I’ll make it up to you.” Tom got up from the table and pecked her lips quickly. “Okay?”

“Okay, I’ll see you tonight then?”

“Yeah.” Tom smiled and walked out of the cafeteria with your book. Leaving Harper and Harrison by themselves since the rest of their group left. The cafeteria was deserted apart from the lunch ladies, but they were too busy in the back of the kitchen.

Harper sighed. “Do you know what’s going on with him?”

“No, not a clue.” Harrison dismissed her question quickly.

-

Thursday.

After what happened yesterday. Tom held onto your book. He had the urge to approach you and return it, but he found another way. Then he was reminded of the way his friends might react or the way they might tease him. The pressure was always on him. Whether it be leading his team to a win, or trying to keep his friends. Now the pressure was directed towards you and whether or not he would tease and taunt you.

“Tom and Y/n…” Tom looked upright as the teacher called your names. He looked around until he found you in your seat. Others around him began laughing quietly and whispering amongst themselves. Expressing their pity to him for being paired with you. You slowly sunk into your chair as you felt everyone staring at you. They already thought you were trying to steal Harper’s boyfriend, now you knew this little class pairing would spread around to Harper.

No avoiding the tension now, you thought.

As the teacher finished calling the rest of the names, the bell rang letting everyone know they were dismissed which in your case, was a free period. You collected your notebook and placed it in your bag. After you were all packed you exited the room and started your walk to the library.

“Hey, Y/n wait up!” You stiffened up as you heard his voice. You cringed slightly as people stopped to look at you. You turned around slowly and faced him.

“Y-Yes?”

“Listen I um…” He was going to say sorry, but Harper caught his attention from down the hall, and he sighed.

“Yes?” You repeated, wanting him to let it out.

“I don’t think I’m going to be able to help out with the project. I would love to help you, but I got a lot on my plate, ya know.” He chuckled as if you understood where he was coming from. “With practice and the stacks of homework, I got, I’m slammed. If you could not tell Mr. Stevenson about it that’d be great. Don’t want him thinking I made you do all the work now do we?”

“Y-You want me to do the whole project?” You asked quickly, getting upset.

“It doesn’t seem like it’s going to be hard, you’re a smart girl Y/n. Look I gotta get to practice, but let me know how it goes, okay.” He threw you a gentle smile, and you almost believed he thought you were smart. “Hey, Harper wait up!” He called his girlfriend’s name.

You sighed and walked slowly to the library. You wanted to read your dad’s book, but you didn’t have it anymore. You also wanted to brainstorm ideas with Tom, but he blew you off and left it all for you to do. As you got to the library you placed your things down at your designated table and started getting your notebook out.

“Hello, Y/n.” You looked up at the librarian who now stood in front of your table. “Hi Grace, how are you today?” You smiled sweetly at the old lady.

“Oh, I’m fine dear, how are you though?” Grace knew what you were going through and she knew about your cancer. One or some few you’ve only told this to.

“Taking it one day at a time…I’m still waiting for a good day.” You halfheartedly laughed.

“You know every day may not always be the greatest, but there are small great things within that day. So, anything good happen, today?” She smiled softly.

“This cute guy was assigned to be my partner for a project.” You smiled but it quickly faded.

“What’s wrong with that?!”

“He’s the guy that’s been making my life hell, and now I'm left to do this project on my own...” You mumble quietly towards the end to yourself.

“Oh, I see…” She nodded. “Ya know, guys usually pick on girls they like.” She teased with a smirk.

“Trust me, he doesn’t like me.”

“I beg to differ.” Grace brought around something that she was hiding behind her back into your view. It was your book. Your dad’s book. You gasped as you slowly took it from her hand.

“W-Where did you get this?” You looked at her with curiosity.

“My lips are sealed, honey.” She zipped her lips with her pointer finger and thumb and threw away the fake key.

“Thank you.” You smiled.

“Of course, dear, enjoy the rest of your day.”

“I will.” You laughed with a breath.

You glanced down at the book and caressed the edges. Apart from the worn-out pages and the faded smoothie stains, the book was just fine. No tears or anything. It wasn’t ruined and you were glad Harper didn’t do anything more to it.

-

Friday.

Out of breath. That’s what you were feeling. Your chest was heaving up and down and your body was growing tired. This had to be the worst day of all for you. No physical activities. That’s what your doctor told you, and now you were running. The one thing that you shouldn’t have been doing.

“T-Tom!” You yelled after him as you were currently chasing him down the halls of the school. People were pushing themselves against the lockers and walls not wanting to get pushed out the way. The look of determination on your face was enough to let people know not to push you any more than Tom was doing.

As stupid as it may have been he took your backpack. Who would take a backpack?! Tom, that’s who. He caught you off guard when he snagged it and took off running. That’s when you took off in a sprint. And now if you didn’t stop you felt like you’d probably throw up or something.

“T-Tom just give it back please!” You said out of breath.

“Oh come on now, Y/n. You can’t be that tired now.” He chuckled as a crowd started gathering. Tom was on the last step of the stairs that led to the second floor of the school, which did not look inviting at all. “You want the backpack, come get it.” Tom started going up the stairs.

Taunting you as you took small steps to the stairs.

You paused, placing your hands on your knees. Looking down at your feet trying to control your breathing. You almost did a double-take when you noticed a small drop of red hit the ground.

You quickly brought your hand up to your nose and removed it as you realized you were bleeding. Your heart was thumping loudly in your ears and all the loud laughter coming from everyone was causing you to panic. You were growing overwhelmed and a little dizzy now.

“Looks like the freak can’t handle a joke. Go on, it’s your time to shine. Go after my boyfriend, go get your stuff, before I flush it down the toilet.” It was Harper’s voice that you heard off to your left. You were still facing the stairs, but you didn’t move.

“Come on Y/n. Unless nothing in here actually matters to you.” Tom smirked. You finally looked up at him and he immediately took notice of the dried blood beginning to drip down the edge of your nose. The dazed look you were giving him made him straighten up.

“Y/n?” His voice sounded muffled and right as you took a step forward you were falling to the ground.

You crashed to the ground hard and the crowd grew silent as they suddenly realized what happened. Tom’s breath hitched in the back of his throat as he stood motionless. It wasn’t until a girl pushed her way to the front of the crowd and rushed to your side.

“Oh my god, Y/n.” She shook you awake and then looked at everyone else. “Why the hell are you all standing there? Call an ambulance, oh my god, Y/n. Help!” She yelled at everyone who just stood there.

Tom then finally rushed down to your side and lifted your head on his lap. “Y/n? Can you hear me?”

“Tom, what the hell are you doing?!” Harper grew angry.

“Harper shut the hell up and get a teacher!” Tom looked at everyone who stood there pissed. “Quit standing there and move!” Everyone scrambled then and there.

A couple of seconds passed and Mr. Stevenson and Grace came rushing down the hall along with the principal.

“How did this happen?” The principal cut right to the point.

“She-” Alice began, but Tom cut her off.

“It was my fault, sir. I pushed her too far, and she fainted.” Tom admitted taking full responsibility for everything.

“Holland, come with me.” The principal motioned with his finger leading him to his office. “Mr. Stevenson stay with her until the paramedics get here.”

“I will sir.” So that left Grace, Alice, and Mr. Stevenson with you, unconscious.

“Hang in there kid, help is on its way.” Grace held onto your hand brushing away falling hairs from your face.

-

“Want to explain to me what happened back there?” The principal stood with his hands on his hips. Tom remained quiet as he stared at his lap. The principal sighed and sat at the edge of his desk in front of Tom. “I know Thomas...”

Tom perked his head up. “What do you mean sir?”

“I don’t know about you, son, but I don’t tolerate students tormenting other students, especially when that student happens to be very sick. Some of your classmates have told me about how you’ve been treating Miss Y/L/N for the past couple of days this week.”

“Sick? What are you talking about?” Tom sat up straighter in his chair, fully worried and curious. Principal Johnson furrowed his brows at his question.

“Are you not aware of her condition Mr. Holland?”

Tom furrowed his brows. “Condition?”

Principal Johnson sighed, bringing his forefinger and thumb up to the bridge of his nose. “Miss Y/L/N has cancer, Mr. Holland.” Tom’s heart sank then and there.

“I didn’t…I didn’t know.”

“Would your actions have been any different if you did? This was all on you, son, and from the looks of it, it didn’t look like you were going to stop.”

“I know that saying sorry isn’t going to make up for it-”

“You’re right it’s not. I don’t currently have any sort of punishment for your behavior, so we’ll discuss it further on Monday next week. But as of right now I only ask that you won’t ever do that sort of thing again. Don’t think I am letting you off the hook that easily Holland, a phone call will still be made to your parents.”

“Of course…” Tom nodded slowly, fully accepting his punishments to come.

“And one more thing…I’m benching you for the rest of the season’s games. I’ll notify your coach immediately.” Tom bit the inside of his cheek, nodding, feeling guilty about it all. “I expected more from you kid. Hopefully, all of this will make you rethink what you’ve done.”

Tom stood up. “Me too.” And left.

-

“Oh, my sweet baby girl.” Your mom sat on your side of the bed caressing your hair as you were slowly coming to.

“M-Mom?” You rasped out.

“Hi sweetie, how’re you feeling?” Your mom furrowed her brows.

“My head kind of hurts.” You squint your eyes as you sit up slowly.

“Well, you did have quite the fall.”

“I fell?”

“You don’t remember?” You shook your head no.

“Well, all that matters is that you’re alright.”

“Y-Yeah.” You frowned sadly.

“What’s wrong sweetie?”

“R-Remember when you asked me…you asked if anything was going on at school.” 

“Yes…”

“I lied.” You looked up at her with teary eyes.

“What happened, sweetie?” Your mom soothed you.

“Well…it’s a long story.” You looked up at her.

“Lay it out.” Then you began telling her all that happened this week, from the start of Monday to what happened today that caused you to fall. Your mom would now know of everything.

-

Saturday.

You were allowed to go home after the doctor gave you the okay. They wanted to make sure nothing else was wrong, and that you were fine. Safe to say you were and now here you were curled up on the couch with your favorite blanket watching Tv. Your mom was in the kitchen cooking up something to eat for the two of you.

Apart from the arrangements of flowers that were left outside your porch when you arrived home, everything was pretty much back to normal. Well not so much, everyone at school kept sending you gifts and apologized over and over again. You were sympathetic, forgave them, and told them that it was okay and that they didn’t know, so no harm or foul right? Much to your mom’s disagreement, she thought that your classmates could go to hell, but you didn’t give that a second thought and let it go quickly.

Right as you were going to turn up the volume the doorbell rang. You looked back at your mom and you shared a look, yours of amusement and hers of annoyance.

“Wonder who that could be?” She said sarcastically moving towards the door.

You snuggled back onto the couch and heard the faint voices of your mom and someone talking. A couple of minutes passed and your mom came trolling back into the living room holding yet another gift basket that you were given. You sat up with a smile, and your mom sat across from you watching you open the basket and going through the assortment of goodies that were inside.

You finally looked up, face stuffed with a chocolate muffin. “What?” Your voice was muffled.

“Nothing sweetie, I’m just glad you’re happy is all.”

“You love this mom.” You laughed.

“Fine you’re right, I do!” She laughed with you and went through the basket herself.

You looked at all the other gift baskets that adorned your living room. “What are we going to do with all these?” You chuckled as you motioned around the room.

“Well from all the stuff they’re sending us, I don’t have to go shopping for another week.” She joked.

You gasped and hit her shoulder playfully. “Mom!”

“I will never get over how you see so much good in others, Y/n. They treated you unfairly, yet you forgave them so easily.”

“What would be the point in holding a grudge? Yeah, they weren’t exactly nice, but I only have so long left. I’d rather enjoy my time with kindness, not hatred.” You smiled.

“Oh come here!” Your mom blinked quickly not wanting tears to fall down her face. “I love you so much...”

“I love you too, mom.”

-

Sunday.

You and your mom were enjoying your weekend together by eating ice cream and watching chick flicks. You were getting to the good part of the movie when you heard the engine of a car pull up. You looked at your mom right as she turned to look at you with a knowing smile.

Your mom ran to the window sill looking out.

“He’s back.” Your mom eyed the boy as she stuffed her mouth with another spoonful of cookies n’ cream. You quickly got up and ran to her side watching as he opened the trunk of his car unloading four more arrangements of flowers. You smiled at the gesture he was making. Your guess was this was his way of apologizing. You both stared as he made his way up to the porch and began placing more flower baskets and vases down gently. He stopped for a second and rearranged one of the vases and moved them to another spot.

“Ya know if he keeps this up we’re not going to have any way to leave the house. He’s filling up the porch quite nicely huh.” Your mom teased licking her spoon that was backward. “I’m allergic to bees, remember?” She giggled. “It’s cute though, what he’s doing for you. I don’t think any boy has ever done that for you.” She nudged your arm playfully.

“Shhh.” You observed as he crouched down and organized the flowers. You considered this the perfect moment and removed the blanket from around your shoulders and set it on the couch. You headed towards the door and slipped your shoes on.

“Make sure to give him a big kiss.” Your mom giggled.

“Not another word from you.” You pointed at her and then opened the door.

The sound of the front door unlocking caught Tom’s attention and he stood up startled. He watched in shock as you walked out and closed the door behind you. Once you finally turned around it was like he couldn’t find his words or breathe properly.

“Hi.” You smiled at him gently.

“H-Hey.” He breathed out nervously.

You smiled and looked at all the flowers he brought you. You hadn’t gone outside to see them for yourself. Only staying inside. Your smile grew bigger when you spotted your favorite flower amongst the dozen other ones. You turned your gaze back to him.

“It’s beautiful, thank you.”

“Of course. I’m glad you like them.”

“You should probably stop though.”

“W-What?” Tom grew nervous.

“I don’t think my porch has any more room for arrangements. Where would you even put them?” You giggled as you looked around. He really did fill up the entire two sides of the porch, only leaving a path from the door to the steps. “Plus...my mom’s allergic to bees.”

“Oh! Yeah, I guess I did go a little...overboard.” Tom cringed as he scratched the back of his neck.

“It’s sweet of you though. No one’s ever done this for me…” You trailed off smiling shyly at your shoes.

It was quiet for a couple of seconds before he spoke up. “Y/n, I’m so sorry.”

You smiled up at him. “You didn’t know, it wasn’t your fault.” 

“Yes, yes it was, and you have every right to hate me, okay.”

“I forgive you, Tom, seriously it’s okay.” You laughed as he kept beating himself up. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness, Y/n.”

“Well, that’s too bad because I’m giving it to you. I…I don’t hate you, Tom.”

“But I treated you so horribly…all the things I did and said, I…I caused you to fall.” Tom’s voice cracked and he looked at you.

“It’s not your fault. It’s not, okay. I’m fine, see.” You cupped his face. “I’m fine Tom. I’m okay.” You didn’t know what made you so bold all of a sudden, but you pressed your foreheads together.

Tom closed his eyes and steadied his breathing to the rhythm of yours. When his eyes opened back up he saw your eyes. Your e/c eyes. They were so beautiful. His eyes then trailed down to your lips. A sudden pull caused him to lean in. You leaned in too. You let it happen. This time it wasn’t to get your book back. This kiss was the real thing. And you loved it. You smiled into the kiss as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Tom’s hands remained on your hips, but he tugged them forward to press you closer to him.

When you both pulled away you were flushed. Your lips were a little swollen. Tom didn’t dare untangle his arms that were wrapped around you.

“I don’t care how long it takes. I’m going to keep making it up to you.”

“Tom-”

“No, I mean it. I was horrible to you, and just cause I’m leaving these small things for you, still doesn’t make what I did acceptable. It wasn’t right.”

“When did you realize all this?” You smiled gently.

“When I made you kiss me that day in the library. I took your first kiss from you. It wasn’t fair of me to do that to you.”

“Who says that was my first kiss?” You smirked teasingly.

“I... I just had a feeling.”

“So you had a feeling that no one’s ever kissed me before. Am I that much of a loser?”

“What?! No of course not, you are so kissable, and beautiful, and you deserve so many-”

“Tom, Tom.” You laughed, cutting him off.

“Y-Yeah.”

“Don’t hurt yourself....” You pulled him in and placed a sweet kiss on his lips.

“I don’t deserve you.” He pressed his head against yours.

“I think you’re a bit hard on yourself Tom. You deserve a lot more than you think.”

“I don't...but you do.” He muttered. "You don't mean that?"

“I mean it.” You closed your eyes letting him kiss you again. This one was slower, and sweet, displaying how each of you felt about each other.

-

Sunday had been one of those days that you never expected to happen. Then again you hadn’t expected Tom to end up kissing you after a week filled with his tormenting and bullying. There was no doubt you were still kind of cautious around him, he just spent the whole weekend feeling guilty. You didn't know what Monday would bring.

Could it be more of his bullying?

Was this just a front so people wouldn’t hate him?

Was he actually trying to change for the greater good?

Did he truly want to make it up to you?

Did he really have feelings for you?

You didn’t know...

-

Monday.

After what happened on Sunday you weren’t sure how things were going to go at school. Your mom had suggested you stay at home, but even she knew that you wouldn’t agree, you were too much of a good student to miss school, even if you did faint not more than three days ago. You were in the middle of putting your books and notes into your bag when the doorbell rang. Your head turned towards the door. You were confused. No one ever really came this early, especially to your house. You walked up to the door and unlocked it. When the door swung open the person who stood behind the door was not who you were expecting it to be.

“Tom?” Your eyes widen in surprise.

Tom smiled sheepishly as his hands were in his front pockets. He shifted from foot to foot, as he grew nervous.

“Hey.” He said as his eyes shined. His stance was curious and timid.

“What are you doing here?” You held onto the door as you asked him.

“I...do you, would you-” He began stuttering.

“Yes?” You smiled. Tom gulped as he noticed you smiling at the stuttering mess that was himself.

“Do you- you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just thought it’d be a good idea for us- which you don’t have to say yes to. I know I haven’t been the best to you, and it’s probably too early anyway-” Tom rubbed his neck as he kept gesturing to you and what you believed was his car that he was pointing at. Two and two clicked together in your head making you smile at his offer. He kept stumbling over his words.

Just like you had done yesterday, you stopped him before he could hurt himself.

“-Tom, Tom.” You reached forward grabbing a hold of his arms to get his attention. “I would love it if you gave me a ride to school.” You giggled as he looked at you shocked.

Your laugh making his heart melt. “You would?”

You nodded. “Yes, I would. Thanks...” You muttered as you leaned forward and pressed your lips to his cheek.

Tom closed his eyes as he enjoyed the sweet affection you gave him. He didn’t want to tell you right away.

“You’re welcome.” He spoke softly as he gazed at you with adoration.

“I just need to grab my things.” You motioned back inside the house. “Come in.”

“Okay.” Tom breathed as he quickly entered after you. He closed the door standing awkwardly, not knowing what to do. He only took a few steps inside your house. The living room caught his eye. A couple of pictures of you and what he assumed was your mom stood out to him.

However, one picture did catch his eye. It was one of you and your mom at the hospital. Tom assumed that this was taken a while back since you didn’t seem to have hair in this picture. What he couldn’t help but notice was the way you were smiling. You looked worn down, but he probably would have never known that by the happiness showing in your eyes. “Chemo.”

Tom was brought out of his daze as he whirled around to see you standing beside him. A grip on your backpack, preventing it from falling.

“What?” Pure innocence in his eyes causes you to smile lightly.

“That was taken at the end of my chemo. It was almost a while ago.” You ran a hand through your short hair. A habit you began doing after your hair grew back. It was growing back slowly, but you were slowly withering away. You didn’t mind it being short. You quite liked it this way. “Hence the hair.” You shrugged nonchalantly while lifting the edges of your hair.

Tom didn’t say anything, he only continued to gaze at you with a look you couldn’t pinpoint. “I never would have noticed.” Tom shook his head slightly. He motioned to your hair. “It looks...nice. It always has...” He smiled genuinely.

"Always?" Your heart melts.

Tom grew flustered. “I uh-” He laughed nervously.

“Have you been secretly keeping track of my hair?” You teased him with a smile. “Since when?”

"Since...middle school." He scratched his neck. You hadn't expected an actual answer.

“Oh.” That was all you could say as you blushed slightly.

Tom glanced at his feet before he looked up at you again. “Ready to go?”

“Mhmm.” You smiled as you placed your hand in his that he extended out to you.

You let go of his hand once you were outside. Quickly locking the door, then taking his hand again as you made your way to his car.

Tom followed you to the passenger side and opened the door for you. You smiled sweetly at him. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He smiled down at you as you were seated inside. He closed your door and made his way to the driver's side, getting in and starting up the engine.

“Good?” He asked you as you finished buckling yourself.

“Yeah.” You smiled.

“Okay.” Tom quickly glanced behind his shoulders. Left then right making sure there weren’t any cars coming, then slowly reversing out the driveway. Turning the wheel and putting the car in drive, you both began making your way towards school.

-

As the weekend passed Harper couldn’t help but feel hurt at the way Tom yelled at her. Sure he was angry, but he didn’t need to yell at her. Feeling like it was her fault that he wasn’t answering any of her messages, she wanted nothing more than to fix things between them. And what better way to do that, than in person in front of the whole school? Harper loved the attention, but she was determined to make you jealous. She was determined to show you who you were messing with, even if you ended up fainting again.

“So what happened again between you and Tom?” One of Harper’s friends asked her.

“Nothing happened Hannah. We just had a bit of a complication…” Harper fluffed up her curls. She pursed her lips and gazed at herself through her locker mirror. “Don’t worry, Tom and I are good as new again,” Harper smirked as she applied another layer of her cherry lip gloss. She popped her lips when she was satisfied with her appearance.

“You guys are great together. Compatible in every way.” Heather fed the beast- I mean Harper with praises and compliments. “Job well done Harper.”

“Thanks, Heather, I am incredibly lucky to have such a great guy like Tom.” Harper bit her lip as flashes of Tom and her in her room popped up in her head.

“Looks like your luck ran out..” Hannah said.

“What? Why would you even say that Hannah!” Harper gaped at her. Hannah only replied by motioning over Harper’s shoulder with her head.

Confused by her words Harper and Heather turned around to see what Hannah was talking about. As she did, her breath slightly hitched. As if her day couldn’t get any worse, she now had to see her boyfriend walk into the building with his hand intertwined with yours.

“Oh yeah, good as new alright.” Hannah mocked her.

“Shut up, Hannah!” Harper snapped at her.

“Hey, you’re the one who said you two were fine. It’s not my fault you can’t keep track of your boyfriend, well looks like your ex-boyfriend now.” Hannah put her hands up in defense.

“Oh no, don’t expect that-” She pointed at you and Tom standing at your locker. “-is going to last. Tom just probably feels bad about what happened on Friday. He can be quite sympathetic sometimes, this is just one of those times.”

“If you say so Harp,” Heather spoke up this time. “Let’s hope you’re right about this. You still need a date to prom after all.” She reminded Harper.

“Don’t worry, he’s going to wish he never held her hand,” Harper smirked evilly as she closed her locker. She picked up her bag and walked in the opposite direction from where you two stood. Heather and Hannah followed closely behind her.

-

“People are staring.” You muttered to Tom as you grabbed your backpack from him. You switched out your science and history books, for your Algebra and Literature books.

“Yeah…” He trailed off as he turned his head towards the lingering eyes on you and him. He frowned as he caught Harper throwing him a scowl before she walked away.

“A-Are you sure you want to be seen with me?” You frowned. Tom looked back at you furrowing his brows at your question.

“Of course I do.” He dipped his head as you avoided his gaze. “Y/n, look at me.” You looked up. “If there is one thing that I am certain about, it’s wanting to be with you.”

“Really, 'cause it's only been two days since your mind changed about how you felt about me?” You whispered, not being able to help your accusatory tone.

“Really.” He pecked your forehead. “Come on now, let’s get you to class.” He smiled as he lightly tugged on your hand. "Come on..."

“Okay.” You smiled sheepishly as you closed your locker. As Tom began tugging you down the hall, you both were abruptly stopped.

“Mr. Holland.” A voice spoke up from behind you. Tom closed his eyes as he recognized who the voice belonged to.

“Principal Johnson.” Tom sighed as he turned around, letting go of your hand. 

“Do you know what today is, boy?”

“Monday sir.”

“It’s Monday! Come on, my office.” Principal Johnson motioned with his hand as he turned around, already heading to his office.

Tom turned to you. “Library, third period?” He asked with hope.

You nodded. “Go before you get into more trouble.” You playfully pushed him. He leaned forward and pecked your cheek before scurrying off after the principal. You blushed as you made your way to your first class.

-

“So Miss Y/L/N huh?” Principal Johnson asked as he fiddled with his pen.

“Sir I-”

“You sure you know what you’re doing boy?”

“I do, I do sir.” Tom nodded furiously.

“Because it looks like you’re trying to use her to get yourself out of your punishment. Like she’s your in, to get on my good side.”

“No, that’s not…that’s not it sir. I swear. It’s not like that.” Tom stumbled with his words.

“Then explain it to me, son.”

“With all due respect, sir…I’m not quite comfortable talking about my feelings to you.”

“Feelings you say?” Principal Johnson raised his eyebrows almost as if in amusement.

“I promise Principal Johnson. I would never truly honestly intend for Y/n to get hurt. I lo- I couldn’t forgive myself if anything else happens to her.” Tom stared at his lap as the guilt still ran through him. You forgave him, but he didn’t feel that he deserved to be forgiven, in such a short amount of time too. He wanted to make it up to you.

“But something did happen, and you were the cause of it.” Principal Johnson reminded him. Tom nodded his head.

Principal Johnson stared at the boy feeling bad. At some point and time, he was in the same position Tom was. So in love with a girl that it ate him up. Willing to do anything for her. He sympathized with the boy.

“Here’s what I am going to do, Tom.” Tom raised his head. “You’re still benched for the season.”

“Right...” Tom sighed.

“And you still need to be punished.”

“Right…” Tom nodded slowly wanting to know where he was going with this.

“So as your punishment, you’re going to be helping out in the Library. Ya know, checking out books, shelving books, that usual stuff.”

“Oh, wow!” Tom perked up as he realized he’d be seeing you more often now.

“Yeah?” Principal Johnson eyed him weirdly but brushed it off quickly. “I’ll let Grace know you’ll be on your way to begin helping her.”

“Is that all?” Tom was surprised at how that went well. “Well, unless you have a better suggestion for a punishment?”

“No, no, I don’t. Thank you for my punishment. I’ll be on my way, sir.” Tom stood up and started opening the door when he was stopped.

“Thomas.” Tom looked back, at Principal Johnson. “Be good to her son.”

“I will...” Tom nodded then left.

-

As he promised, Tom met you in the library after the third period ended. You were buried deep in one of the aisles in the very back of the library preoccupied with your dad’s book.

Tom walked into the library wanting to see you but finding you nowhere in sight. This came to Grace’s attention as she noticed him enter.

“You lost honey?” She teased as she set down the books she was shelving.

“Hey Grace, you’ve seen Y/n?” Tom held onto the strap of his backpack as he shuffled from foot to foot.

“Can I ask why?” Grace already knew what had happened between you two. You told her yourself. She wanted to give him a hard time just for the fun of it.

“I uh-”

“You here to pick on the poor girl because if you are I’ll have no problem calling Principal Johnson.”

“No, no, no…” Tom’s eyes widened as he grew nervous and a little scared. “I’m not here to bully her, I swear. Grace, I swear I don’t want to hurt her. You don’t understand…” Watching Tom become flustered and nervous made her laugh. The sound startled him.

“I’m just messing with you.” She dismissed him with her hand. “She’s in the back.” She motioned to the side of the library you were at. Grace then went back to shelving some books like nothing ever happened.

Standing there stunned and a little nervous. Tom eyed Grace wearily as he slowly took a step in your direction. “T-Thank you.” He stuttered then took off to find you. Grace chuckled as he scurried off.

Tom swore that he was getting whiplash by how quickly he was turning his head left and right as he passed every aisle. “Y/n!” He whispered as he kept going down the aisles in the middle of the two sides of the shelves. He turned his head right, then left, and right as he did he was being yanked to the right side. He yelped slightly as he ended up losing his balance falling on top of you.

You groaned. “Oh, get off your heavy.” You push against him.

Tom feigned a fake hurt gasp as he propped himself on his elbows to hover above you. “I’m fine, thanks for asking.” He chuckled.

“Sorry.” You giggled.

“It’s okay you caught me off guard is all.”

“So you were distracted?” You bit your lip in amusement.

“Yeah, trying to find you.” He glanced at your eyes and then down at your lips.

“Well, you found me...” You placed your hand on his neck.

“I did…” Tom trailed off as he lowered his lips onto yours. The kiss was slow and sweet. Nothing rough or quick about it. Tom pulled back, sitting up.

You frowned at the loss of contact. You took his extended hand and as you were fully sat up, he grabbed you by the waist and tugged you onto his lap making you squeal.

“Tom?” You giggled as he peppered your neck with wet kisses. The feeling was nothing like you’ve ever felt before, it was new, and you knew you wanted to experience it more often.

Before things escalated Tom took his lips off your neck.

“Okay, okay, I’m stopping. I’m stopping.” Tom whispered as a smile made its way onto his lips. Tom gulped as he began telling you what the principal told him. “So, Principal Johnson gave me my punishment.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, he thought it’d be a good idea for me to spend some quality time with the girl I like in the library.” Tom smiled cheekily.

“Tom seriously, tell me.” You playfully slapped his shoulder.

“He talked to Grace, and now I’m going to be helping out in here.” He smiled as your eyes widened.

“Are you serious? You hate the library though?” You laughed in disbelief.

“Not really. If anything it’s kind of growing on me.” He smiled as he twirled the ends of your hair around his finger.

“I get to see you more?” You blushed.

“That’s right.” He teased. “Get used to me Y/L/N, you can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“However will I survive!” You smiled as you both leaned in for a kiss.

“Tom!” Tom pulled back, startled by Grace calling out for him.

“Shit!” He scrambled up to his feet. The sight alone caused you to laugh. “Coming Grace!” He quickly helped you to your feet. “I’ll see you later?” The same kind of hope in his eyes.

“Go before you lose it.” You giggled. Tom pecked you one more time and ran off towards Grace to begin helping. You shook your head. Tom was surely something else.

-

Tuesday.

The following day Tom did the same thing. He picked you up in the morning and then drove the both of you to school. Almost believing for a second that things were going to be better the next day was an understatement. People still stared at you two as you walked into school hand in hand. Whispers going around amongst your classmates. Tom, not thinking too much of it, continued to smile at you.

“What do you say?”

“Huh?” You finally realized that he was talking to you.

Tom chuckled and shook his head. “I asked if you wanted to eat lunch together during third period.” Tom bit his lip trying not to let his smile show how much he was excited to spend time with you. When he noticed the worried look on your face he frowned. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Tom was not so sure that it was true. “Actually can I be honest?”

“Of course.” He nodded assuring you.

“You have been my crush for a very long time…” You smiled. He did too. “I always considered the possibility of you and me ending up together a one-in-a-million chance. Yet here I am, and here you are. We’re together.” You chuckled. “Our feelings are mutual and it’s the weirdest feeling in the world because you’re Tom, this great guy, and I’m just me, the cancer girl.” You shrugged. “And I never would have thought that you’d actually see me.”

“I’ve always seen you-”

“And now that we’re together it feels like a risky thing because I'm sick and we're from two different worlds-”

“We’re no different than everybody else Y/n.” Tom bit his lip and shook his head. “So what if I want to be with you? I want to be with you, Y/n. What’s the harm in that?”

“My cancer. Your friends...” You glanced over his shoulder then brought your eyes back to his. Tom glanced over his shoulder and frowned as he realized his buddies were watching him. “They don’t control the way I feel, Y/n. You’re the best thing that has happened to me.” Tom cupped your face and leaned in. The kiss was slow, but a little more love felt. When you pulled away you felt a bit upset. “What’s wrong?”

“Did you just kiss me because you wanted to or because your friends are watching?”

Tom pulled away, slightly a bit hurt by your words. “Because I want to…Y/n I would never do that to you, I promise.”

“Okay...” Your voice grew small as you slowly lifted your head to look at him.

“I don't want to hurt you in any way anymore.” Tom leaned forward and pecked your cheek. “I’ll see you for lunch okay.” He pecked your forehead. You both moved along in the hallway stopping in front of the library. Your hand lingered in his for a bit before you let go.

“I’ll be where I usually sit.” You dazed off.

“Okay.” Tom nodded. “I should probably get inside, Grace needed some help moving a couple of things around.”

“Well, I’ll let you get to it then.” You let go of his hand and began walking backward.

“I love you.” He told you.

“Too soon, Holland.” You breathed out a laugh and finally turned around to walk to your next class. You were never going to make it to lunch.

"Nah...I love you." Tom called after you.

-

When Tom reached the library he got to work right away. Helping Grace out wherever she needed him to. If Tom was being honest, he was starting to enjoy spending time surrounded by books. It even got to the point where he could understand why you loved this place so much. A lifetime of stories right in front of him to read. He could hear your voice, the way you explained the adventure of a good book that you had read.

“It’s about the journey it takes you on. From the beginning, all the way to the very end. It’s exciting.” You’d say. “The thrill of not knowing what’s going to happen next. That has to be my favorite part.” You would end the sentence with a smile.

In a way, your words explain your relationship perfectly. In the beginning, you two didn’t start out on a positive note, but the things that have happened next have been indescribable and one of the best things that have happened. Now all that was left was the rest of your journey together, right to the very end. He was nervous about what the rest of the ride would bring him, but Tom hadn’t been more thrilled about something since the time he landed a backflip. He wanted to continue forward no matter the obstacles that he and you faced.

Tom bit his lip as he smiled at the thought. He wants this, he wants everything. The whole package. All of you. He’s ready!

“So this is what you’re doing instead of trying to get back on the team.” Tom’s hand paused midway as he was shelving a book. The familiarity of the voice had him smirking. Of course, he had the nerve to speak to him now.

“Nice to see you too, Harrison.” Tom looked over his shoulder to see him leaning against the shelf of books behind him.

“Seriously mate?” Harrison furrowed his eyebrows at the brunette.

“What Harrison?” Tom set down the books and spun around to face the blonde.

“What are you doing, Tom? You were the star quarterback. You had the girl. You had everything.” Harrison slumped his shoulders. He shook his head.

“None of it is going to matter in a couple of years? It’s just a position. Harper is just a girl who only wants to be with me to make herself look good. And you’re wrong, I don't have everything. I don’t have everything and I’m fine. You know what I do have though, clarity. Clarity that my friends care more about popularity than being decent fucking human beings.” Tom shook his head and turned around.

“Just like you’re suddenly fine getting all close with Y/n. Have you forgotten about how much of a freak she is?” Harrison chuckled at the fallen expression Tom had. “Don’t you remember our little deal?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about?” Tom brushed off the ache he suddenly felt in his heart.

“Really? So you wouldn’t mind if I go talk to Y/n for a bit.” Harrison pushed himself off the shelves and motioned over to where he saw you walk in. You were making your way over to where they were.

“Don’t you dare, Harrison!” Tom growled lowly, as he shoved Harrison back against the shelves this time while gripping the collar of his shirt.

“Oh, so you do remember.” Harrison smiled amused.

“What the hell man, you’re supposed to be my best friend!” Tom took his hands off him.

“And you’re not supposed to give up your life for some girl!” Harrison situated his shirt.

“What the hell happened to us?”

“You tell me…one minute you're barely talking to any of us, then the next you're off with some girl who was only supposed to be a part of the bet Harper made with you.”

“What?”

Tom and Harrison turned their heads. The voice belonged to you. Tom’s eyes widened so big you thought they were going to pop out of their sockets. He was so scared…so scared that you wouldn’t believe him. And he was scared you now thought the feelings he had for you weren’t real.

“Y/n...” Tom croaked out as he felt tears begin to slide down his cheek.

“I’m a bet?” You muttered.

“No, no, no, no.” Tom made his way over to you quickly. He took a hold of your face in his hands, doing everything he could do to make you look at him. Your expression was dazed, emotionless, and he was the cause of it. “You’re not a bet.” He began hugging you tightly not wanting to let you slip away. “You’re not a bet, you’re not a bet. You’re not a bet.” He mumbled into your hair. Your arms remained at your sides. You didn’t know how to feel at this point.

Harrison watching the whole interaction realized he made a mistake opening his big fat mouth. He’s never seen Tom act this way, not for anybody. Not even for any girl he’s been with. That’s all it took to see that you weren’t just some girl they chose for Tom to pick on. You were now the girl. The girl that would somehow make everything better in his life. His girl. Harrison just didn’t know it then.

“Baby, you’re not a bet. Please, please, believe me, you’re not a bet. You’re so much more than that. You’re so much more.” He pressed a tender kiss to your temple while you remained still as a rock. Your eyes stared at one spot. Tom pulled back to look at you. Your expression remained the same. “Harrison’s stupid, don’t listen to him, he doesn’t control the way I feel about you. My friends don’t understand this, they don’t understand us. But I’m not gonna let them break us. Okay?” He pressed his head against yours. “I’m not going to let them break us.” Tom’s voice cracked as he got no response from you yet.

He pulled you back into his arms. He pressed a kiss now and then into your hair. Tom just held you, he held you until you finally took in his words.

Maybe his friend Harrison wanted to break you two apart. Maybe he didn’t accept you two being together.

Maybe he was lying about being a bet. Maybe just maybe.

It was slow and it was a gentle touch, but Tom felt it right away. A smile made its way onto his lips as he now felt your arms and hands snake around his waist to hug him back. He gripped you a bit tighter, not too hard to hurt you, but just enough to let you know he wasn’t letting you go.

“I love you.” His voice is muffled by your hair but you hear him nonetheless.

“I love you too.” You whispered back as you buried your head in his neck.

-

Wednesday.

Yours and Tom’s morning was almost like a routine now. He’d pick you up, drive you to school, you’d walk in together, people would stare, you comment on it, and then he walks you to class, while he makes his way to the library.

A routine. It remained the same. You wouldn’t change it. You got to see him more often now, and you were grateful for it.

You were seated at lunch at your usual table, and your focus was on your father’s book, but you couldn’t ignore how some of your classmates kept throwing looks and glances your way. You never did enjoy being the center of attention. Let alone the attention that was drawing Harper closer to your table. You placed the book in front of your face, hoping it would do you some good at hiding you, but alas…

Harper reached forward and lowered the book from your face. “I can still see you,” Harper smirked.

“Right.” You chuckled nervously and looked down at your book again. Yet you couldn’t help but look over her shoulder. Heather and Hannah were nowhere in sight - that was somewhat of a good thing, right?

Harper caught on quickly and reassured your nerves. “Oh, those two…” She motioned behind her. “Don’t worry they won’t be sitting with us today.”

“T-Today?” You raised your brow in confusion. "Sitting with us?"

“We’re gonna eat lunch together silly.” Harper giggled, she sat down across from you on the chair and reached down into her bag to retrieve her lunch. All greens, it was probably a salad.

“Oh…” You trailed off, you picked up a carrot, and bit into it slowly. Eating was a nervous habit of yours.

“You don’t mind do you?” Harper gave you a questioning look that made you not want to do bad by her. She played with the straw of her smoothie, and you couldn’t help but glance at the plastic thing and then at her.

“No, I don’t mind...” You gave her an unsure smile.

“Great!” She exclaimed with satisfaction. Harper took a sip of her drink, then stabbed a fork into her salad. “So where’s Romeo?” Harper nonchalantly observed the cafeteria for the tall brunette.

“Tom?” You watched her closely.

“Yeah, who else would I mean?” Harper shrugged. Then she added. “So, where is he?” Harper crossed her hands and leaned in closer.

“Oh uh, he had to-” You stammered.

“Hey love, sorry I’m late, Grace had me put books back into their right place.” You turned around in your chair just in time for Tom to place a sweet kiss on your cheek. He smiled at you then frowned once he realized Harper was sitting in front of you. “Harper?” He threw her a questioning look. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“It’s school, I’m pretty sure we have to attend it.” She sassed him.

“I mean, why the hell are you sitting with us?” Tom took a seat next to you. He placed his tray and bookbag down.

“Oh, didn’t Y/n tell you…she invited me to sit with you guys. Isn’t she the sweetest?” Harper giggled and gave you a smile you knew was fake.

Tom glanced between you and Harper. “You did?” He stared at you.

“I could have possibly done that.” You stared at her.

“Okay then…” Tom eyed you curiously then he relaxed when you gave him that smile he grew to love over the few days. The table grew quiet causing the tension to rise.

“Why so quiet?” Harper blurted out. “Usually you two love birds are so chatty and full of giggles any other day, is it me?” Harper eyed you two playfully.

“Yes.” “N-No.” You and Tom looked at each other with an incredulous look, then you glanced at Harper.

“Well, which one is it?” Harper smiled.

Tom scowled angrily. “Harper, can I talk to you?”

“We are talking, Tom.” You flinched when she said that.

“Outside.”

“I’m sure you can talk to me in front of Y/n, right babes?” Harper turned her attention onto you, but you remained quiet.

Tom got up and grabbed her arm. Harper grabbed her bag in time as Tom began dragging her out of the cafeteria. You sat there frozen not sure what to do. You looked back at some of your classmates who were staring at you. You hid behind your hand and began reading your book again, sinking and lowering into your chair.

-

Without thinking too much about it, Tom dragged Harper into an empty supply closet, locked the door, and pushed her against the wall. But his movements were nowhere near lustful, maybe a bit out of frustration, but no passion or hunger resided within him.

“Seriously? First Harrison then you. What’s next huh? A smoothie gets thrown in my face too?” Tom scoffed, shaking his head.

Harper was too into this side of him. It might have been one of the reasons why sex with him was always great. The two of them just melted together that way. No feelings were involved, just a bunch of pent-up tension needing to be released…but perhaps she wanted more.

“Don’t be silly like I’d ever throw one in that pretty face of yours.” Harper chuckled then threw her arms around his neck.

“But you’d throw one at Y/n.” Tom frowned. He turned his gaze to the wall next to them. “You did throw one at her.”

Y/n, Y/n, Y/n. That’s all she ever heard from him.

Think about me, now.

Harper moved his chin with her finger. Her eyes move from his eyes down to his lips. She licked her own out of sudden instinct. “She can’t make you happy like I can.”

Tom stared at her doing nothing to remove her arms. He didn't know where it came from. It was out of nowhere. One second he was angry with her, then the next he harshly kissed her lips. Harper clung onto his dark hair tugging at it just the way he liked. A groan emitted from his lips.

He pulled her tighter and closer to his body. He missed the way she felt around his hands. All perfection rolled into one. It looked like he couldn’t get enough of Harper, but if anyone could handle Harper it was him. He was the only one she knew that would take really good care of her.

While one hand is gripping her waist, the other starts pulling down the straps of her top. Wet kisses trail down her neck causing a whimper every time he bit down and sucked at her skin. One item of clothing follows one by one. First his shirt, then her top.

“God I missed you.” Tom rasps.

“Missed you too.” Their breathing is labored and raspy. The hunger they have for each other pulls them closer like a magnet. She ends up getting lost in the feeling of his lips, her mind reeling as he sinks to his knees before her. “Harper.”

“Harper.”

“Harper.”

-

“Harper!” Tom shook her out of her daze.

Harper snapped out of it and looked up at Tom who scoffed. “Just stay away from Y/n, okay.” He removed her arms and left the closet. No one in sight to see him leave it. Thank god.

He made his way back to you. You were still seated avoiding everyone’s eyes. You deserved the world from where he stood. He walked up to your table and took his seat next to you. You were pulled out of your concentration from your book once you felt his presence. You smiled gently. “Everything okay?”

He smiled back. A gleam in his eyes you began to notice when you were with him. In some ways, it felt that he looked at you like you were his whole world. No way he’d think like that. Would he though?

“Everything…is perfect, love.” Tom muttered then leaned in to plant a sweet kiss on your lips.

“Okay.” Your eyes crinkled at the edges as you smiled.

“You ready to go?” He motioned to your half-eaten lunch.

“You barely ate anything.” You frowned.

“I’m okay.” He shrugged. “Not that hungry anymore.”

“You don’t want a bite of my sandwich, I got full with the carrots, and fruits.” You offered. Tom shook his head.

“Not even a bit of celery with peanut butter.” You waved the vegetable in his face.

Tom pondered for a second then smiled. He took it from your hand and bit down into it. He finished it in three big bites. He chewed until there was no trace of the green stick in his mouth. “Thank you.” He leaned in to kiss you, but you stopped him by putting your hand on his chest. “What?” He questioned as he saw you stifle a laugh. “What?” He smiled brightly this time.

“You got uh.” You gestured to your mouth. Tom caught on and wiped at his mouth, only to miss the spot he needed to get. “You huh, here let me…” You licked the pad of your thumb and gently wiped away the bit of peanut butter that was at the edge of his mouth. “There.” You were frozen at what you had just done. Tom, on the other hand, couldn’t find the right words to say. You kept doing things that left him rendered speechless, in a good admirable way. He liked you, that much was true, but the way he looked at you right now said something completely different. Was it love that glistened in his eyes? No, it was too soon for that still. Was it though?

You were a bit flustered, your cheeks heated. You removed your eyes from his and turned towards the table in search of a napkin, you wanted to clean the peanut butter off, but couldn’t. You slumped in defeat for a second. Tom took notice and grabbed a hold of your hand. He gently guided it up to his lips. He wrapped his fingers around your thumb, bent his head down to meet the pad of it, and sucked it off. You felt his tongue and the top and bottom part of his lips suck the bit of condiment in one quick go. To you, it felt slower, but it was quick, and he certainly didn’t think too much of it…at least until he saw your reaction. You were dumbstruck, you were caught off guard by his action, not expecting it, but it happened.

“Sorry.” Tom apologized with a sheepish smile on his lips.

“It’s okay.” You bashfully glanced at your lap, then back up at him. “R-Ready to go?” You asked as you began closing the lid on your containers.

“Yeah.” He nodded as he waited for you to put your lunch away in your bag. You grabbed your dad’s book, and he slung your bag over his shoulder. You didn’t bother arguing with him about being able to carry it yourself.

You tried…You did and you lost every time, it was inevitable at this point. You took his extended hand and walked out of the cafeteria and headed to the library.

-

Thursday.

It was after school and you were in your room doing a bit of homework when you heard it. You were trying to figure out a mathematical equation you could not solve. You thought you had it, but your focus was interrupted when a noise got your attention. You didn’t think much of it and proceeded to ignore it until it continued. The tiny clunk of something hitting your window.

Clunk. Clunk. Clunk.

It kept repeating until it grew louder. You pushed your math book off your lap and walked over to your window. You looked out waiting to see if something was there. It grew quiet again and then a sudden bang sounded against your window again causing you to shriek out in fear.

“Ahh!” You jumped in place, then pushed your window up to open it. You stuck your head out and right as you did a small pebble struck you on your forehead. You flinched, raising a hand to where you got hit. “Ow…” You trailed off.

Tom, on the other hand, stood still in his spot. He gaped in shock that he just hit you. His hands were frozen in the air like he was reaching out for you but he was pulling back into himself. His fingers curled into his palm and he brought his fist towards his mouth and closed his eyes at his stupidity.

“What the hell?” You moaned as you looked down at him. He opened his eyes looking guilty. “I’m…so sorry. Oh my god, are you okay?” Tom cringed as he replayed the image of you getting hit in his mind.

“No, you just pebbled me in the face!” You looked at him incredulously. “What the hell are you doing out here?” You shook your head.

“I thought it’d be romantic.” Tom sheepishly gritted his teeth. He shrugged.

“To hit me?!” You furrowed your brows.

“What? No, throw pebbles…at your window.” He scratched his neck nervously. “Guess it didn’t pan out like I thought it would.”

You smiled gently. You then realize the picnic basket and blanket next to his feet. Your heart fluttered at the gesture. He was trying and it was best if you cut him some slack. He did come out here after all.

“I’m sorry.” He pouted. You wanted to reach out and kiss the pout off him.

“We have a front door ya know?” You giggled teasing him a bit.

“I know, I just didn’t want to wake your mom up though.” Tom smiled gently.

“Too late!”

You and Tom whipped your heads towards the window that was right next to yours.

“Tom.” Your mom waves at Tom.

“Hi Ms. Y/L/N.” Tom gave her a quick wave then rocked back and forth sheepishly on his feet.

“Mom?” You whined.

“Shouldn’t you be doing your homework?” Your mom smiled innocently.

“Mom…”

“It’s a school night.” Your mom reminded you.

“When has that been an issue?” You and your mom bantered back and forth. Tom thought he was going to get whiplash by how much his head was going between you and your mom.

“It…hasn’t?” Your mom cringed.

“Great, so I can have the rest of the night off?” You smiled innocently.

“Not all night, you need your sleep.” Your mom pointed out.

“Four hours?”

“Two.”

“What? No, at least three!”

“Hour and a half?”

“Two and a half.”

"Fine."

"Fine!" You sighed and then looked at Tom who had no clue what just happened. “You heard her.” Tom focused on you. “Meet me in the backyard.”

Tom nodded like a happy toddler as he fumbled with the blanket and carried the basket into the yard. He closed the fence and began setting up. Once he was out of hearing shot you looked over at your mom with an unimpressed look.

“Really?”

“Tick tock.” She sing-songed as she removed herself from the window and closed it shut. You chuckled at her actions and went back to your room, closing the window behind you. You pick up your cardigan and put it over your tank top. Your pajama bottoms were too comfortable to change out of. You stepped up to your long-length mirror and gave yourself a once over. You still had your insecurities, even if Tom made you feel like the prettiest girl in the world.

You never doubted that you had something going for yourself. No guy at school seemed to think so, but Tom did, and for some odd reason, you liked his attention. He was cute and sweet, he may have his flaws too, but so do you. However, even if he thought you were pretty or not. He only saw you.

Just you.

He saw you before and he sees you as you are now. That’s all that matters. That’s what counts the most.

You smile and shrug at the girl in the mirror and make your way outside. You went down the stairs and out the door through the kitchen. You smiled as you saw him on top of the blanket sorting and laying everything out.

Tom looked up and he smiled up at you. You were wearing some fuzzy socks, with koala bears on them, your gray Mickey Mouse pajama shorts were cute on you, and the dark blue cardigan was a bit oversized on you. Yet you were still the most beautiful girl to him. Tom leaned back on his hands and tilted his head to the side.

You giggled and flaunted the cardigan, turning around like you were showing it off. You danced in your spot with a teasing smile. Tom laughed as he watched you. He sat up.

“Get your cute little butt over here.” He said with a chuckle. You giggled and ran to him. He looked up and brought you down onto his lap. You sunk as he held onto your waist gently.

His hold never tightened on you, it was mostly a lingering touch. You considered he was never rough with you because you felt he didn't want to hurt you.

You knew he could be though…be rough with you. He dated Harper for crying out loud, you doubted he was anything but gentle with her. It was a nice thing to see from him though. He touched you like you were made of porcelain. One wrong move and he'd break you. He couldn’t though, he couldn’t break you. Not anymore, you were far along from the broken girl you used to be. You fought through it and now you weren’t broken, you were whole, and you were happy.

Tom made you really happy.

You brought your hands up to his face and caressed his skin. The smile he loved seeing on you reached your eyes. You were beaming.

“Hi.” You giggle.

“Hi.” Tom’s eyes crinkled. His voice sounded relaxed. He couldn’t help but admire the light of the moon shining down on you. Lighting up everything he loved about you. He leaned in and pressed his lips onto yours. He pulled back and looked at you again.

You chased him as he pulled back, not wanting it to be over yet. You leaned in and pecked his lips. Tom pulled back in a teasing manner. You kept pecking and chasing him until you cupped his cheeks and let your lips linger on his for a while longer. He didn’t deny you the kiss you wanted.

You both moved in sync, as the kiss got a little heated. Tom removed his hands from your waist and let them rake up and down your bare thighs. It wasn’t long before he brought one hand up to your shoulder and slid one side of the cardigan down. Exposing the thin strap of your tank top and your neck. He pulled back gently and began peppering your skin with wet kisses. Just like back in the library, it was a new feeling that you wanted to experience more of. You sighed as he kept trailing his lips across your skin. You could feel him smile when you gasped. He bit down gently on your neck and soothed it with a lick.

“Tom…” You sighed in contentment as you tilted your head more to grant him more access at your skin.

“Do you want me to stop?” Tom continued to pepper kisses down your neck.

“N-No.” You shook your head. Tom kissed your neck for a little while longer only leaving the one mark on your skin, but traces of where his lips were had lingered. He pulled away and planted a kiss on your lips. You were in total bliss at the moment.

“Why’d you stop?” You smiled gently.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to stop if I carry on.” Tom sighed as he pressed his head against yours.

“You can’t hurt me.” You shook your head.

“Trust me, I want that with you, okay? I do.” Tom reassured you with a smile. You smiled back but you knew there was more. “But I want to do this the right way. I don’t want your first time to be because you think you have to do it. I want it to be great, and special for you. I don’t want you to do something you don’t want to do.” Tom frowned.

“I’m not doing anything I don’t want to.” You admitted. “Everything that I want to happen is because I’m letting it happen.” You caressed the nape of his hair. “I know you'll never hurt me, and I’m not saying let’s have sex right now either. But let’s not dwell on what we can do in our spare time. Though I don’t think I’d know what to do.” You chuckled nervously. Tom brushed away your hair. “I’m not ready for anything extreme." You grit your teeth sheepishly.

“You don’t have to worry about anything extreme for a long time or as long as you deem it necessary.” He chuckled lightly at your flustered self.

“I just meant making out and stuff, ya know…” You shrugged. “More dates with you.”

“I like the sound of that.” He smiled and pulled you back in for a kiss.

“Are. We. Going to. Ignore the. Food?” You said in between each kiss.

“Are you hungry?”

“A little.” You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Alright, I can eat.” Without removing you from his lap, Tom pulled the basket closer and opened it up. “Alright we have some chocolate-covered strawberries, thank my mom for those. Some grapes, celery sticks with peanut butter, and a couple of ham and turkey sandwiches. A couple of water bottles, or soda if that’s more your thing.” Tom shrugged as he pulled the food out. Each one looked to die for. “What will it be, my lady?” Tom kissed your cheek as you eyed all your choices. You reached your arm out and picked up a strawberry. You brought it up to Tom’s lips and he gave in and bit into it. He hummed at the sweet taste it created in his mouth. You smiled and finished the rest of the strawberry you fed him. “Delicious.” Tom muttered playfully.

“Yeah?” You giggled and picked up another strawberry.

That’s how the rest of the night went for you two. You fed each other and indulged yourselves in a game of who can catch the most grapes in their mouth.

You ended up winning.

Tom had attacked you by tickling you until you couldn’t breathe anymore and gave in. You made out a bit more, then he had to leave. It was sweet and one of the best first dates you ever had. Well…it was your first date, and you were glad with how it went. You knew for sure you wanted to do that again.

-

Friday.

Harper did not enjoy the way Tom just left her in the supply closet. Guys usually didn’t leave her. She was the one who got the last word in and got to walk off. Tom certainly kept surprising her, first his new attraction towards you and now he won’t even look in her direction. Harper was furious, she was pure fire, and people who played with fire tended to get burned.

She was full of hate and in need of getting some payback, and she knew just how to get it…

You were at your locker, taking your time switching out your books for the ones you needed. You weren’t aware of Harper approaching you so it wasn’t before you jumped when she slammed your locker shut. The action causing your books to fall. You cursed silently to yourself and kneeled to pick your things up. Harper got annoyed and kneeled to help you. In doing so you both went for the same notebook, which had you both bumping heads. You both fell back with a groan.

“Ow…” You groaned.

“Oh…” Harper groaned.

You two just sat on the floor rubbing where you collided heads with each other. It was pretty stupid. Only you would headbutt with someone, literally.

You couldn’t help but laugh at what just happened. Surprisingly Harper joined in on your fits of giggles. She leaned forward and picked up your last notebook. She handed it to you, and you took it gratefully from her hand, stuffing it into your bag.

“T-Thanks.”

“Why do you do that?” She asked out of nowhere.

“D-Do what?”

“Stutter, I’ve noticed you only do that when you’re nervous, or when I’m around.”

“I-” You shut up when Harper eyed you. You were proving her right. “I…” You breathed in slowly. “I don’t know, nervous habit maybe.” You shrugged.

“Do I make you that uncomfortable?” She frowned.

“You don’t exactly make people feel great about themselves.” You admitted.

“Oh…well I’m sorry.”

Did you hear her correctly?

“You’re sorry?”

“I don’t exactly have it easy, so I guess I do tend to take it out on others. Especially you, Y/n.” Harper got up to her feet and held her hand out to you. She pulled you up and you dusted your jeans off.

“Thanks?” You opened your locker once more and grabbed your book. You put it in your bag and looked up at her expectantly.

“So I’m throwing a party tonight since it’s the championship game. We’re going to win either way, and you know how Tom plays football and all, right?

“Right.” You nodded. “Isn’t he benched though…” You trailed off.

“Yeah, his coach isn’t letting him play because he bullied and picked on you. It’s really sad, but he has to pay for what he did. It really does suck though, playing football means the world to him. It’s what was going to get him his scholarship. Scouts are coming out to the game tonight to see their star player…yet he won’t be there because he was benched. Poor Tom. There goes his future. You and Tom should come to the party though, it’ll be fun.” She smiled sweetly at you. “See you Y/n.”

Tom wouldn’t get a scholarship anymore? Oh no…

He never told you anything about that. Was his future at risk because of what he did? You knew he never meant it. Yet it still hurts that he might not be able to go to college because of it.

Harper walked over to where Heather and Hannah were. “How did it go?” Hannah asked.

“Hook lined and then-” Harper chuckled as she watched you walk away from your locker in a rush. “We sink her...”

-

“Principal Johnson.” You knocked on his office door.

“Ahh, Y/n. Lovely to see you. How are you?” Principal Johnson lifted his head with a smile. “I was wondering if I could talk to you about something?”

“Please take a seat, I’m all ears.”

You took a seat and opened your mouth to begin talking.

-

You were seated on the floor in one of the aisles of the library. Too entranced you almost didn’t hear footsteps running down the aisles. You looked over at the end and saw Tom skid to a halt. He regained his balance and rushed over to you on the ground.

You looked at him with a bewildered smile.

“Hi, there.” You giggled.

“You are not going to believe what just happened!” He rushed out excitedly.

“What is it?” You sat up straighter and set your book down beside you.

“I don’t understand…coach was serious about me being benched. Then again he’s never too serious about certaint hings.” You almost didn’t understand him by how fast he talked. “T-This is crazy!” He smiled brightly.

“Tom.” You laughed, urging him to tell you the news.

“Right sorry. I’m not benched anymore. Coach says I get to play tonight’s game…” He furrowed his brows still not fully aware of how he was allowed to play all of a sudden. He seemed to enjoy the pressure being off him.

He frowned and looked down at his lap. You took notice of his change of demeanor. “What’s wrong?” You scooted closer to him.

“I get to play again.”

“What’s wrong with that? You love playing football.”

“I just don’t know if I want to anymore. Being quarterback had its perks, yeah, but it all came with the weight of having to carry the team on my shoulders. There was too much pressure put on me. I knew coach put on the whole tough love front, but I didn’t like it. And trust me I don’t think I want to read or learn another playbook again.” Tom laughed at the end.

Oh no.

“You don’t want to play anymore…” You looked away from him. You royally screwed up.

“I don’t know. I mean a lot has changed since…” He trailed off.

“Since you’ve been with me.” You looked up.

“Being with you has been the best thing that’s happened to me. It overrules being back on the team.” He grabbed your hand and traced soothing circles on your skin.

“Really?” Your heart fluttered at his words.

“Really.” Tom leaned in forward and pecked your lips slowly.

“I think you should though. Play tonight’s game. It is the championship game after all.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think it’s a good idea. I missed a whole week of practice. I don’t even think they can do that. Let me play.” Tom leaned back against the shelves. Silence fell over the two of you before he spoke up. “This wasn’t my dream growing up.”

“Playing football?”

“Yeah. I mostly did it because Harrison decided to try out. He, of course, convinced me enough. So I went to the tryouts.” He scoffed as he remembered that day. “I was scrawny and still wore braces. Imagine that. Most of the seniors during freshman year laughed at me, but I tried to not pay them any mind. They bullied me.”

“I remember that.” You played with his hands. “They’d push you up against the lockers. They’d hit you.” You frowned.

“They couldn’t hit me hard enough to stop me from joining.” Tom admitted.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too for what I did to you.” He tilted his head to the side to look at you.

“What did you want to do?”

“As stupid as it may sound. I wanted to act. Be in the school play.” He shook his head at the thought.

“It’s not stupid. I could see it.” You offered a smile.

“You’ve never even seen me act, how could you possibly see me as an actor?” He chuckled.

“I can see it.” You shrugged, repeating your words.

“Okay, what about you? What does Y/n Y/L/N want to be when she grows up?”

“Mmmm.” You hummed. To be honest you never really thought about it that much. There was always the fear of dying too soon, that you thought you’d never get the chance, and you had no idea what you wanted to do with your life. “I never really gave it much of a thought.” You continued to play with Tom’s hands. “Getting through chemotherapy, and putting up the biggest fight was all that I really thought about. School and seeing the next few months were only just a second thought.”

Tom smiled sadly as he thought about how hard it must’ve been for you. How a life with you was a 'live in the moment' ordeal. That at some point you'd both have to let the truth sink in eventually. That you wouldn't be with him in the future. That he'd have to continue on without you “Well, whatever you decide to do, you’re going to be great at it.” He wrapped his arm around you and kissed your temple.

The bell rang over the intercom signaling the end of the day. You unwrapped yourself from his embrace and stood up holding a hand out for him to take. He grabbed your hand and stood up, but not before hoisting your backup up and onto his shoulder.

“Are you ever going to let me carry my bag?” You shook your head.

“We'll see.” He gave you a cheeky smile. He held onto your hand tugging you forward as he walked backwards.

-

You both headed home after school had ended. You were sitting at your desk finishing up some homework you wanted to get done. Tom didn’t show up to the game.

He didn’t want to play and you respected his wishes. You were sad that you had practically begged the principal to let him play.

Mr.Johnson was hesitant but after some explaining on your behalf he gave in, now you were starting to think it was all for nothing. But Tom telling you he never truly wanted to play football gave you some ease. You closed up your math textbook and swiveled around in your chair to face Tom who was reading a book you got him hooked on, on your bed.

“We should do something fun tonight.” You suggested gently. Tom put the book down and gave you his attention.

“What did you have in mind?” Tom scooted closer to the edge to sit down in front of your chair. He smiled as he grabbed ahold of the sides of the chair and pulled you forward to him. The chair slid across the floor causing you to squeal.

You smiled gently at him. “Let’s go to a party.”

Tom’s eyes widened in surprise, not expecting the word 'party' to come out of your mouth. “Yeah, we can do that.” He nodded, unsure of himself.

-

Harper raised her pom-poms in the air as Harrison ran the winning touchdown. The buzzer went off and the announcer cheered through the microphone.

“Cyclones win, cyclones win!”

Harper screamed alongside her cheerleaders. They all jumped up and down and then ran into the middle of the field where everyone had surrounded Harrison. The blonde was too excited that he hadn’t seen Harper come up behind him. He turned towards her and didn’t expect her to kiss him. His shock washed away as he gripped her waist tighter. Harper pulled away to catch her breath then she yelled.

“Party at my house!” She smiled as her classmates cheered and hollered ‘yeahs’ and woohoos.”

-

When Harper said she was throwing a party. She meant it… Tom put the car in park and stared up at the two-story house through the window. A few buddies of his hanging out on the front lawn. He turned over to look at you.

“We still have time to change our minds. We can leave. We don’t have to go inside.” Tom grabbed your hand and began rubbing your skin soothingly.

“I’m okay.” You smiled reassuringly.

“Okay.” Tom let out a breath of air and let go of your hand. He got out the door and rushed around to open your door. You smiled thankfully and grabbed the hand that he extended out to you

Tom and you walked hand in hand to the front door. It wasn’t a surprise when some of Tom’s teammates greeted him with a warm welcome or a pat on the back. He hadn’t really spent much time around them, so it was a rare sight to see everyone be so friendly with each other.

A few of them glanced your way. Some raked their eyes up and down your figure while a few of them only smiled and nodded at you. You only responded with a smile and let Tom lead the way into the house. The music instantly blared in your ears. You weren’t used to hearing such loud music, so out of instinct, you gripped Tom’s hand and practically attached yourself to his back. His response to this was to pull you closer and plant a kiss on your temple. Both of you managed to move around and through all the intoxicated and grinding bodies.

It was quite a sight to see. You swore you’ve never seen a girl throw herself back onto a guy before, but there was a first time for everything right?

Harper watched from the top rail that was placed in between the two staircases. She smirked as she watched everyone having a good time. Her parents were gone for the weekend, so everything was going according to plan…well at least until…

“Look who decided to show up. Three o’clock.” Hannah gestured down below to you and Tom making your way through everyone.

“Well, at least we now know why he wasn’t at the game.” Harper sneered and looked at you with hatred.

“Who cares now, at least she got him to come.” Heather perked up.

“Plan ‘get Tom back’ is in motion.” Heather placed her hands on the rail and smirked.

“Now all we need is to separate the two.” Harper stated. The girls paused for a moment to think. A lightbulb had gone off in Hannah’s head suddenly.

“I got the perfect idea!” Hannah smirked. “She won’t know what hit her.”

A few heads turned your way as you held onto Tom. The chatter and whispers quickly happened as you reached the kitchen. Tom kept walking with your hand in his as he observed his choices for a drink.

A beer would have been his go-to drink. A grab and take, but he was here with you. You were at your first party, and if anyone was to get drunk it was going to be you. All he wanted at the moment was for you to have a great time, drunk or not. He didn’t want you to worry about anything else other than your own enjoyment. He was a bit skeptical that you had wanted to come to this. Let alone come to a party thrown by Harper. Her name screamed all over this. He knew you, you were down to earth and preferred to stay inside or go to the park if that’s what you wanted. You wouldn’t have come to this if there was a catch. Right?

You watched as he picked up a beer bottle, and then set it down quickly.

“Don’t want to drink?” You smiled and questioned him.

“Not tonight.” He smiled and stepped up to plant a kiss on your lips.

“You sure?” You furrowed your brows.

“Yes, I’m sure. Why don’t we get you a drink instead.” Tom turned back to the counter and observed a couple of soda bottles.

“Okay, just no alcohol please.” You smiled gently.

“Of course.” Tom looked around the kitchen and spotted the red solo cups.

Perfect, he thought.

He walked over and grabbed one. He came back over to you and poured you a good amount of Sprite. He tasted it first to make sure it wasn’t spiked then came it back to you.

“This cup is your new best friend.” Tom smiled as he heard you giggle. “Perfectly suitable to hide any drink of your choosing, alcohol or not. Plus, it makes for the perfect prop to blend in with everyone else.” He motioned to everyone who was holding a red cup. “No harm, no foul. You have one of those in your hand.” He gestured to your cup. “No one will question you one bit…” Tom caressed your hair behind your ear.

You stared at him thoughtfully. No one would ever go through this much for you. Yet Tom has. He brought you comfort, he made you feel safe. Even at a party full of drunks. You pecked him sweetly on the lips.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Tom hummed as he kissed you tenderly.

This time you decided to lead the way. You found a couch that wasn’t full and decided to sit on it. Tom followed your lead and leaned back on the coach. He rested his arm behind your head. You enjoyed being here with him. People were enjoying themselves and the music was good apart from it being blasted through the speakers. The night was great. For the most part…

As far as alone time with Tom went, it seemed to be cut short.

“Yo Tom!” Tom glanced up to see Harrison and a few of his friends make their way towards you. “Tommy boy. There he is!” Tom stood up to greet Harrison. “How are you mate? We needed you out there tonight.” Harrison swayed in place. He patted Tom on the cheek.

“I think you did just fine without me.” Held onto his best friend.

“Come hang with us, the boys are doing keg stands you gotta come do it, man.” Harrison smiled.

“I can’t.” Tom whispered tilting his head slightly at you.

“Pshh.” Harrison pushed Tom out of the way and spoke to you. “You don’t mind if we steal him for a second love, do you?”

“Oh uh, I guess not…” You were about to open your mouth again but Harrison beat you to it. “Great, be back in a sec.” Harrison stood behind Tom and pushed him toward the backyard door.

Tom threw out slight curses at Harrison. “I’ll be back, just stay there!” He managed to say over his shoulder as he was being dragged outside.

“Okay.” He was already far away from a hearing distance. “I’ll be here…” You slumped your shoulders and took sips from your drink. You never knew loneliness until now as you watched people chatter amongst themselves. Tom had friends whereas you did not. You shrunk in your seat wanting to turn invisible all of a sudden.

-

Harrison ushered Tom to the center of his friends as they got outside.

“Guess who showed up boys. Tommy boy is back!” Tom closed his eyes and smiled as people hollered and cheered him on. He looked around the backyard. The party was even more in swing than it was inside. Friends and classmates of his either making out or diving into the pool.

-

“Not enjoying the party?” You lifted your gaze from your lap. It was Harper with a smile on her face.

“Oh no, I’m enjoying myself, you outdid yourself.” You chuckled nervously. Harper gave you a pointed look which caused you to give in. “Okay…maybe not as much as I’d like.”

“Tom ditch you?” She asked curiously. She looked around the room full of sweaty drunks.

“No, he uh…Harrison took him somewhere for a second.” You scratched your head with your finger. “He should be back in a bit.”

“Of course he did.” Harper giggled. “Well, why don’t I keep you company while you wait? Girl time right?” Harper situated herself next to you.

“Thanks.” You smiled gratefully at her.

“No problem. You know I underestimated you Y/n.” Harper leaned her head against her hand that rested against the sofa.

“How so?” You furrowed your brows.

“Didn’t think Tom could get you to come out tonight. You keep to yourself a lot. I thought you’d refuse to go out.” Harper smiled gently. As you gave her your full attention you didn’t notice Hannah walk by and spike your drink.

“He didn’t have to convince me.” You paused as you raised your cup to your lips. Harper eyed you as you drank from the cup.

“He didn’t?”

“Nope.” You said as you lowered the cup. “You invited me.” You smiled sweetly at her. “I wanted to come tonight. I thought it’d be fun.” You nodded.

“Glad you did.” Harper nudged your arm playfully. “The party is just about to get better.” Harper said under her breath.

“Huh?”

“Oh, nothing.” Harper laughed. You eyed her then brushed it off with a chuckle of your own. "You have fun okay." Harper got up and bid you a goodbye.

-

Tom stood with one hand in his pocket and the other holding a beer.

A few girls in their bikinis gave him a flirty smile as they passed him and his buddies. He turned away immediately, already wanting to get back to you. Harrison noticed and smirked.

“You should get with that.” Harrison suggested as he watched the girls walk away.

“Funny, Haz.” Tom shook his head as he sipped the beer he was given.

“Oh come on lighten up will ya.” Harrison patted him. “How about a little competition?” Harrison knew Tom could never resist a ‘friendly’ competitive game of who can down all their drinks first.

“I’m sorry, no.” Tom chuckled, refusing to play.

“Don’t be such a buzzkill. We’re having a good time.”

“Really? Because I’m not.” Tom scowled as he eyed him and the guys. He scoffed and walked back inside to find you.

-

Once he was back inside he instantly regretted leaving you alone. There you stood with your shirt off on top of the table. Dancing to the music. What made everything worse was how everyone was videotaping you. And the thing that pissed him off the most was the fact Harper was the closest one to you and she was letting this happen.

He couldn’t take it anymore. He shoved and pushed his way to the front. Harper immediately noticed him and began speaking.

“Wow, and here we were thinking she was such a priss. When in fact she’s a party animal!” She shouted.

“Shut up, Harper!” Tom growled at her. He looked around the dining table in search of your shirt. “Where’s her shirt, Harper? Huh, where is it?” When she didn’t respond he turned toward you and got you down from the table. Much to your protest. He stripped his jacket off and put it on you.

“T-Tom!” You slurred as he struggled to enter your arms through the sleeves. The music cut off and everyone watched as Tom hurried to button up his jean jacket on you. Once you were decent again he turned towards Harper, and if it weren’t for how close you were to him. You wouldn’t have felt his body tremble with anger. You grew quiet immediately.

“You got her drunk.” Tom breathed in deeply. “Are you serious!” He scowled at her. Harper flinched as she stood her ground.

“She wanted to have fun...” She shrugged. Her tone of voice was innocent.

“No, don’t be so coy. You planned this, didn’t you? You wanted to get her drunk to humiliate her.”

“Hey don’t put this on me, she was the one drinking.” Harper raised her hands in defense.

“Bullshit! She never wanted to drink, I gave her soda, not alcohol. You gave her that!” Tom pointed a finger at her.

“You don't have proof that I did such a thing, Tom,” Harper smirked.

“What do you want from me, Harper? I’m not yours, I never was.” Tom slumped his shoulders in defeat. “The one time I’m finally happy, you decide you want to take that away from me. I’m happy, don’t you get that!” Tom’s eyes became watery. “I’m happy, Harper. Happy. Y/n makes me happy!” Tom glanced back at you with a heartbroken expression then back at Harper. “Get over yourself already.” Tom shook his head. “I don’t want to be with you. I never did!”

“Well, I did!” Harper glanced down in shame avoiding people's eyes on her. She swallowed nervously. Her guilt was building up. “I loved you. Okay, why her? Why not me?”

“That’s just it, Harper. Because she isn’t you! She doesn't get someone she hates drunk just to humiliate her.”

“I’m sorry...” Harper frowned, slowly handing back your shirt with despair and shame. Tom scoffs snatching it back from her.

“Stay away from us, Harper.” Tom wrapped his arm around you and led you out of the house in no time. As you both reached your side of the car, you placed your hands on your stomach and hunched over the bushes. Tom held your hair back and rubbed your back soothingly.

“Let it all out. I got you.” Once he was sure you threw everything up. Tom opened the passenger door and let you sit down for a minute. He opened the back seat and got a hoodie. He used it to wipe your mouth.

“I’m sorry.” You muttered as he caressed your hair back and continued to wipe your mouth.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Tom stared at you. “If anything I’m sorry. That I left you alone.”

“Not your fault.” You frowned. “Can you take me home?”

“Yeah.” Tom leaned forward and kissed your head. You put your legs inside the car and he closed your door for you. Tom got in himself and started the car.

So much for your first party.

-

Saturday.

The following morning you woke up with the worst hangover. At least now you could tell people you’ve had one.

You were expecting your mom to tell you something but she did anything but that. Tom had explained what happened and you barely remember her hugging you. She sent you off to bed. Now you were awake and ready to start your day. You had wasted away the time in bed for a bit before you mustered up the energy to get up.

The smell of bacon and eggs caused you to be a bit queasy as you went downstairs, but it went away.

Tom had come over to watch you since your mom was doing some errands. He smiled as you dragged your feet over to one of the stools and planted yourself on it. You had closed your eyes.

“Hi.” He laughed.

“Shhh!” You silenced him. Your head was pounding.

Tom bit back a laugh. He quickly placed two ibuprofen pills in front of you and a glass of water. “Here it’ll help with the migraine.”

You opened your eyes and saw the pills. You took one at a time and downed them with the cold water. You closed your eyes as you hummed in satisfaction. Tom couldn’t help but find this side of you adorable. He walked around the island and came over to your side.

“You okay?” He pushed some hair away from your face.

“Apart from being hungover…yes I’m fine. Thank you for taking care of me.” You hummed in delight as he cupped your cheeks and pecked your lips.

“I’d do anything for you.” You smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck. “Shockingly no video of you was posted online.”

“Really.” You were physically relaxed. "That's good to know."

"I'm sorry about Harper."

"It's okay...can't imagine what she's going through if she feels the need to take it out on someone."

"She shouldn't have done that to you regardless..."

"It's water under the bridge..." You rest your chin on your palm. "Now what's for breakfast?"

"Eggs-"

"Yes..."

"-Bacon-"

"You do love me-" You laugh.

"And pancakes, with possibly some fruit involved." He grins at you, tilting his head.

"Oh, I'm gonna love you forever." You sigh in bliss.

He didn't doubt it. Despite your limited time together, he never doubted your eternal love for one second, that you would, love him forever. That your love for him wouldn't vanish because even if forever would never be guaranteed with you, not truly, not likely. It was your love for him, and his love for you that would remain.

Now that was true and that was the reality of your story together. 

[faebaex]

Hi? It's my first requests, so if you don't mind could you please do GN!MC stingrays × octavinelle?

(I'm sorry if i have grammatical mistake)

Have a great day Author-nim ♡

Octavinelle with a Stringray Reader

author note: hiii welcome! i feel like it is going to become my mission to turn every imaginable sea creature into a reader (✯◡✯) i'm up for the challenge! this was really fun to write! also, accidental sugar daddy Azul? Accidental sugar daddy Azul <(￣︶￣)>

characters: Azul Ashengrotto, Jade Leech, Floyd Leech x GN!Stringray Reader

background:

You are a stringray mer, specifically of Bluespotted Ribbontail species. You are considered quite attractive, and your small stature and timid nature only add to your allure. Despite having quite potent venom, your spinal blade does not carry over to your human form.

Azul Ashengrotto

Oh you poor, sweet summer child.

The first time Azul laid eyes on you, people swear they could see thaumark signs in his eyes.

It was like someone has personally delivered prey to him.

But he was doing you a favour, you know?

With your timid and tender nature, it was only a matter of time before one of the many rogues at this school took advantage of you.

But luckily for you, he can offer you protection. Just sign here and... Perfect. That was easy, wasn't it?

And that is how you began working as a server at the Mostro Lounge, in exchange for Azul's 'protection'.

You quickly became the most popular server at the Lounge, your attractive appearance and nervous, stuttery service becoming a hit with the clientele. Poor little thing, you tug just right on their heartstrings.

Azul was surprised. Whilst he was expecting you to have some popularity (exactly the reason he preyed on you in the first place), he wasn't expecting you to blow up like this.

But he isn't complaining! Celebrating, in fact. Sales have never been better, and seasonal specials have been selling out faster than normal since you joined his staff.

Anyone who goes in the VIP room after hours will see a huge grin on Azul's face as he pours over the business ledgers.

Its because of this that Azul starts to spoil you.

It starts small at first, an extra 15 minute break here and there, a side you hadn't asked for slipped on to your employee meal.

Soon enough, you are granted exclusive access to the VIP room, a perk that was only afforded to the twins up until now.

Oh and what a coincidence, you'll find a study guide for that class you are struggling with on the VIP room table as you take your break. It must have been left out after a client meeting... No harm in you thumbing through it whilst you take your break, Azul would coo.

Azul tries to be discreet, especially once the twins cotton on to your special treatment, with Jade flashing a sharp toothed eerie grin and Floyd complaining that he too wants free study guides.

Azul could justify it, of course, with that you are their best server, in order to maximise the hours you could work, he needed to ensure no other aspect of your life got in the way.

He was definitely justifying it more to himself than he was the twins.

So come, dear. Let him show you your new special uniform for the lunar new year seasonal service...

Jade Leech

You make work so much more fun for him.

Watching you quiver and almost drop a glass when he creeps up behind you and places a hand on your shoulder is just precious.

"Oya, oya. Those glasses are quite delicate. Do be careful."

However, despite the fact that he slyly bullies you for fun, he is a very good manager.

He will always ensure you take your break on time, and that your employee meal is ordered far enough in advance that it is ready for you as soon as you sit down on your break.

And should any particularly rowdy clientele decide to bother you...

Then he will ensure they are dealt with <3

It is his favourite part of the night, after all. How he adores it when you hide behind him.

Jade ropes you into his sneaky work agendas too.

For example, he'll coach you into pushing the mushroom dishes to customers so that he can stop Azul from taking them off the menu.

Probably the least sinister smiles you've received from him are when he beams at you when you deliver a bunch of mushroom dish orders to the kitchen.

Jade will stand with the most innocent smile as Azul looks on in confusion through the order ledger and the sudden influx of mushroom cuisine orders, with you hidden behind Jade.

Azul: "Why are they tucked behind you like that?"

Jade: "They're tired. :) "

Considering the nature of your 'deal' with Azul, Jade's protection of you extends outside of the Lounge into your school life.

But that doesn't mean it is convenient, even if it is effective.

He terrifies you just as much as the people around you, after all.

However it has its perks.

The lunch line is infinitely easier when you have a 190cm eel ensuring that you don't get caught in the lunch crush.

He likes to tell you over lunch how his favourite food is octopus when Azul is sitting right there.

He'll then remark, with the most unassuming of smiles, how he hasn't tried stingray yet.

Funnily enough, you don't feel so hungry anymore.

Floyd Leech

Oh dear.

This man terrorises you.

You're just so cute to him! Especially when you tremble and tear up when he spooks you.

He just wants to tuck you under his arm and keep you <3

Floyd is constantly on your heels when you are working. Whether he is spooking you or draping himself over you, he's always somehow impeding your work.

Azul is constantly scolding Floyd and tries his best to keep you separated, so that Floyd's behaviour does not bother you. Or effect profits.

Jade just looks on in amusement.

Despite the above, your relationship with Floyd isn't all bad.

You and Floyd take your breaks together, simply because he stops working when you do and throws himself over your lap when you sit down to rest.

He's fairly calmer then, passing the time by showing you pictures of clothes he is thinking of buying and asking your opinion on them.

You caused a few mood swings at first when you didn't give a good enough response, but after awhile you got comfortable enough to give him your honest opinion. That makes him happy!

He also shows you his basketball videos, even if most of them are just Ace getting taken out by one of his basketball throws.

He's definitely roped you in to going to practice with him one time. He thinks it would be funny watching you struggle to make the hoop.

Floyd is also the cause of one of your most terrifying incidents at NRC.

On one of your rare days off, you were taking a swim in the Octavinelle pool to relax and reacquaint yourself with the water, and Floyd snuck up on you and scared you.

And well...

You almost skewered him with your spinal blade.

You narrowly missed stabbing him right in the stomach. Even Floyd was shocked but the suddenness of it.

... Until the giddiest grin spread across his face and he started cackling.

You, on the other hand, started bawling your eyes out.

Floyd ended up carrying you to the Lounge because you wouldn't stop crying.

He sat you on a barstool whilst Jade prepared you a drink and Floyd went into the kitchen to steal you some ice cream.

Floyd then gushed to Jade about how cool you were when you almost stabbed him with your tail blade and how sharp it looked.

He looks freakishly delighted when he remarks that maybe next time you'll actually get him.

If you did, he'd probably wear it as a badge of honour and show it off to everyone shamelessly.

Meanwhile, Azul comes to check what all the noise is and pretends to be upset that the twins are giving out free refreshment, like he doesn't do that himself.

[importantgalaxyrunaway]

the snap (Matt Murdock x fem-reader )

Summary: after the blip Matt was blipped away. But what happens when he shows up after everyone comes back?

Part 2 Warnings: angst, I mean it this time ok? I teared up writing this. But with fluff it has a happy ending trust me. Im dyslexic so there are probably/definitely going to be spelling errors. (I’m trying yall. Let me know how I did my first fic for Matt I think I’m going to make a part 2. Please comment if you can and reblog are appreciated if you want ❤️) mentions of pregnancy and childbirth and children

My eyes take in the childrens bedroom. It was small and quant but cozy. The nightlights lit up the room and my five year old daughter was layed down on the soft pastel blankets. I sit down on the side of her bed. She was so beautiful, her sweet brown eyes and brown hair. Her name was angel Murdock, She resembled Matt so much, sometimes it even hurt to look at her. It showed his best attributes on her. Even though she was only five years old she was already fearless, the teachers at the preschool always say she’s already getting in fights with the bullies in the class, no fist fights yet thankfully. It was her bedtime so you were finishing up reading a story to her about a princess and prince who fought a dragon.

“And they lived happily ever after the end” I kiss her forehead. And get up from her sleepy form.

“mommy, why do all the other kids have dads?”

Her question struck me in the heart. Leaving a wound size I couldn’t even patch up after patching up so many of Matt’s wounds. But I remain calm and collected like her words were just a simple question. Which they were, she’s just a curious child, there is no way that she knows how deeply I am affected by them. I twist my diamond ring on my finger and bite my lip trying to figure out how to answer this question without terrifying her. I can’t lie to her, I promised I would never lie to her.

“Angel, your father….went away. Hes gone he went with another half of the universe”

“will he be comeback?”

“no, no he won’t” I answered quietly trying to keep myself from sobbing. God I feel so weak, it’s been five years! Fiver years and I still can’t get over his death

“did he leave because of me?”

“no! No, he never knew about you sweetie. He was taken before he knew”

I take a shaky breath and kiss her on the forehead “goodnight” I leave her now asleep form and creep to the kitchen. I look down and the sink and I can’t take it anymore. Grief racks my body as sobs come out in waves. Why? Why did you have to leave I know you didn’t do it on purpose but why? It’s so unfair. Mathew I miss you. I know The city needed but mainly I needed you. I bring my knees up to hug my chest. I feel so weak, so fucking weak it’s been 5 years and I still haven’t recovered. I tpull myself together and wipe my tears mainly because I hear noises outside. A lot of noises. Screams, cries, laughter, sobs. I run to the window and open the curtain. Hundreds and hundreds of people are flooding the streets. Some are hugging, kissing, others are just staring in disbelief. Poeple are running in all directions and so so many of them are confused. Who are these people? Where did they come from? Could they he the ones who were snappe—

Knock! knock! knock!

the noise of someone at my door shattered my trail of thoughts like a broken mirror, breaking me of my trance. Who on earth. Or any planet for that matter would be calling to me at this hour? I tentatively get up. Cross the room and open the door, I was not prepared.

there. Right there stood my husband dead for 5 years after the blip. He stood in his lawyer suit in the doorframe. Just as he was before he left. He’s exactly the same. To him no time has passed at all. But I’m sure he’s heard it’s been 5 years on the streets. My body is rigid from shock utter shock. He takes off his red glasses so I can see his face again. A small gasp escapes my mouth as my eyes lay upon him again. Hes so gorgeous it actually hurts. Makes my heart ache. To say I felt conflicted would be an understatement I was downright a wreck inside. He so damn pretty. Was all I could really think. my shaky hand reaches up and caresses his face as if feeling he’s actually there and this isn’t some hallucination.

“sweetheart, I’m real” he smiles

“I-i Matt you were dead—you-you—oh!” I choke out in sobs

I seizes his head and he walks closer to me closing the door. I kiss him desperately like a woman starved. The kiss is searing and leaves us gasping for air. As soon as we break the seal we dive into it again and I let out a small whimper that allows him to slip his rougue into my mouth. I immediately submit to him and let him take the dominance. After sometime in a log swaying kiss. We stumble towards the couch where he tries to explain to me what happened but with me kissing his neck desperately it’s hard for him. In the five years he was gone I never took a lover. I couldn’t bring myself to. I was always thinking about Mathew even if he was just in the back of my mind. Especially as I walked down the more dangerous streets of Hells kitchen without him.

“sweetheart—sweetheart— “ he lets out a small groan that is music to my ears “are you going to let me know what happened or let me explain” he laughs.

I pull back and bip my lip “sorry”

”I know five years have passed someone on the street told me that after they did I ran to find you I’m sorry—“ his head tilts to the side as if he’s picking up something “there’s another heartbeat in the apartment”

I take his hands “Matt this is a lot to take in I know but….”

“y/n you can tell me anything” the way my name rolls of his toung sounds like honey. He runs his finger over my silk nightgown, his favorite fabric. He takes his time training my figure and them cup up to claps both my hands again “anything”

Reassured now I start my tale “the day of the blip was also the day I found out I was pregnant. Turns out half the universe was blipped away. You’ve been gone for five years now. The pregnancy was hard, half the doctors were gone, you were gone. Without many people to support it was hard but, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, who looks so much like you. I named her angel Murdock.”

he’s silent for a bit. I feel sorry I know how much it is to take in “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you sweetheart. I left you and everyone behind. God I feel so guilty.”

“Mathew there is nothing to apologize for! You couldn’t control it!”

We’re silent for a bit and I wonder if he’s listening to angel’s heartbeat. He beams “I can’t believe I’m a father.” He laughs “ironic isn’t it?”

“what is?”

“the devil is the father of an angel” he muses. His face is bright and happy

“I never thought of it that way” I ponder “she’s already fearless like you”

“Hm, maybe not a good thing. But she sure has the Murdock fighter genes. I’m just sorry I missed the pregnancy and everything”

“well we could always try again?”

“I’d love that” he purrs into my ear in his deep voice. And his head rests in the crook of my neck as he leans into my body. And I’m so so starved for touched after all these years I hold onto him like he’s the last thing in the world. I practically melt into his touch as I haven’t been intimate like this in so long.

“don’t leave me” i whisper

“no sweetheart” his strokes my hair “im never leaving you again”

it feels so comfy with his bodyweight on mine on the couch we don’t even bother to move to the bed as we fall asleep there that night not wanting for a second to leave each other’s arms. It would be hard to explain to to angel who this man she never met was will figure that out in the morning. Things are always better in the morning. No things are always better now that’s he’s back. Everything seems fixed, my whole world.

[mdhwrites]

Recently, I've been poring over the 'TOH critical' tags and, as someone who wanted to properly watch the show, seeing just how many flaws the writing and characters have kinda turned me off from even starting for a bit. Before I found these tags, I would have assumed Owl House was some kind of flawless untouchable masterpiece. Now, I can see that it is immensely flawed. Not bad, but flawed. It has great ideas that it just spaffs up the walls. In some cases that I've seen, it goes against its own message, which brings me to the point of this.

The show seems to have a message of 'be a weirdo! Be who you want to be and don't let anyone tell you to be something you're not'. This 'be yourself' message is fine in a vacuum, but then there's a character who's treatment in the show goes against this. Hooty! From the moment he's introduced, Hooty is presented as a weird creature. Even other people in the Demon Realm find him unnatural. He's kinda in his own world, and he says and does things that are weird. This would work well for the message, but the problem arises from other characters' treatment of him.

Everyone fucking HATES Hooty! They loathe him! They call him names, they hit him, they put him down constantly, the works! Everyone holds him in open contempt! I wouldn't really have an issue with this at first, but Luz also takes part in some of these actions. It would be one thing for negative/antagonistic characters to be doing this, but the self-proclaimed 'weirdo' main characters? She seems annoyed by Hooty's very existence. Don't get me wrong, he IS annoying, but he's also just being himself. He's a proud weirdo and doesn't let anyone stop him from being who he wants.

Why doesn't Luz love him?

He is exactly the type of person(?) who she should feel connected with. And the fact she joins in on some of the bullying is real shitty. Keep in mind Luz was ridiculed and ostracised for being weird, so her then turning around and being all dismissive and annoyed by someone who is, for all intents and purposes, just like her is shitty.

Personally, I would have had it that Luz really likes Hooty. She admires how he's so unapologetic in his weirdness. You could even still have Eda hitting him and calling him names, which Luz calls out. She knows what it's like to be put down for just being yourself, and she's not gonna stand to see someone else get the same treatment.

Or, another idea, Luz starts out sharing Eda's view on Hooty and being annoyed by him. One time, he does something or shows Luz something he's proud of. She calls him or it or both stupid, and Hooty just....cries. I don't mean overblown waterfalls-out-the-eyes crying, I mean he turns his head down and looks visibly upset.

Luz sees that her words have genuinely hurt Hooty. This could be her realising that Hooty isn't just some weird talking punching bag to hurl abuse at. For his weird actions and appearance, he's a person too. Her being mean to him just for being himself, she realises, makes her no better than her bullies.

Then, to make this even more shitty, the characters DO start being nicer to him later on, but only after he's proven himself useful. So that's a good message, isn't it? 'Love is conditional!' It really makes the 'found family' aspect of the Owl House residents feel all the more forced.

Tl;Dr It's okay to be a weirdo, unless you're Hooty!

(But that's just me! I hope all of this made sense and you can decipher what I'm trying to say😊)

So the short answer to this is that Hooty is essentially character/thematic assassination on... Everyone? Because the show wants to say "Be who you are! Have freedom! Express yourself!" Hooty however is constantly mocked, belittled and literally hurt by others with at best an apology. People treat his portable form as gross despite that letting him experience more of life and the one time people begrudgingly acknowledge he is truly good, they then force him to promise to not repeat the helpful behavior. He is not allowed freedom, expression or to be himself without ridicule, EVEN BY LUZ.

This... However has a bigger problem. Hooty is a bit character after all. If you want to claim he doesn't matter because he's just a joke... There's okay precedent for it. The problem is that then you have to ask what he's mocking. After all, gag characters are all about mocking a certain archtype or the like. King's whole point is to mock children who think themselves as self important and point out how deluded and funny that is, or how funny a deluded sense of self grandeur in general is, at least in the first season. As such... What is Hooty?

Hooty is Sheldon. Not literally but spiritually and this is gonna get kind of rough but here me out. For those who don't get the reference, Sheldon is the main autistic representation in The Big Bang Theory. He is also the most antagonistic force within the friend group. Not because he's evil or anything but because he his own certain ways of doing things and ways he looks at things and as such actually has a lot of episodes about expanding his perception of the world and of others learning to understand who he is and why he is the way he is. The show is actually shockingly respectful in this way, at least most of what I have seen of it, and I can portray this with the best joke I can recall from the series. It also will help me later in why The Big Bang Theory is better than TOH at one certain element people REALLY want to say TOH is great about.

The setup is that the other three main dudes are at a white board, discussing plans to go so see a movie. Every plan they devise runs into a road block because of allergies, time, etc. like that, not even only just because of Sheldon's quirks. However, then the lead, the Ross of the group, stops and goes, "I see it." The others squint and look closer before he adds, "It's the only way." The other two agree... And then they all just leave without Sheldon coming with. Sheldon pauses, looks at the board and goes, "They're correct. It was the only way."

I LOVE this joke... Because it's not mean AT ALL. One might think if they're overly sensitive that it is. I mean, how could they leave their friend behind!? But Sheldon is very honest and up front about his quirks and habits. These guys know him well enough that they know better than to force him out of his comfort zone. That he doesn't function that way. Sheldon KNOWS THIS TOO. As such, when presented with the options of telling Sheldon they can't go because they can't go without him or still having a good night and not making their friend feel bad for being why they couldn't go out, they choose to go out and Sheldon agrees that it was the correct option. They respected him while still living their lives.

And this is because The Big Bang Theory's pitch is not to be offensive to nerds like many online people like to make it out to be (I fucking hate people who call it 'Nerd Black Face') but to just make fun of us like any sitcom would. Sitcoms are parodies of real life. They always exaggerated characters we know are somewhat true. We know a Kramer, we know a Ross, we know a Barney, we know a Lorraine. Are they exactly like this? No, it's cranked up so that it's a comedy, that's the fucking point. But this comedic framing also allows it to be honest about ALL sides of nerd dom.

Sheldon is BY FAR made out to be the most successful, intelligent and wealthiest of ALL the guys. Also, all the guys are doing well in their fields and monetarily. Do they have widespread fame and acclaim? Not really but they're not discredited or anything, they just have interdepartmental bickering. That's accurate from literally every scientist I have seen talk about the subject. It's genuine about the good and the bad of the nerd experience while being entertaining.

So what the fuck does any of this have to do with The Owl House? And especially Hooty? It's actually quite simple. While TOH champions having a nerd protagonist, it presents the 'gentrified nerd'. The convenient nerd. They know about fanfiction but won't force you to actually hear about it. They have interests but not hyperfixations. They don't ever get lost down a rabbit hole because they're passionate about something or just want to tell you a neat fact.

Do you know who does though? Hooty. Hooty just wants someone who is willing to listen about his day. He has some weird quirks to how he behaves and he likes some strange things like bugs. He will talk to you for hours on a subject, randomly and just because he can and might forget that you might have other things to do. To me, those are very, VERY accurate parts of nerd life... And we're supposed to fucking HATE Hooty for these things. Remember the only person, in the ENTIRE SERIES to actually befriend Hooty instead of treating him at best as a convenience is Liltih... At the start of her becoming a joke. The only person who shows him real, genuine compassion... Also becomes 'The Cool Aunt' who hyper fixates on niche architecture and has her trauma of working the EC mocked as just being really bad at her job.

It is, genuinely, kind of gross to me. I've actually talked about this before that the show is so hyperfocused on a very specific, very small set of people for who it approves of, which is essentially whoever fits into Luz correctly, that anyone who felt excluded by the show is extremely valid. And yes, Luz has a montage at the start of silly, over the top and extreme behavior... That doesn't continue. At all. The one time she subjects someone to an Azura rant is to torture Eda enough to go to the Convention and that's only because they were already on the subject because King was interested. She quotes Azura but quickly and doesn't lose the thread. She might say a cute word like 'Snorses' but not even enough to make a break in the conversation.

She is convenient. Gus is only interested in human stuff when it's convenient. Willow will put aside her interest in plants when it's inconvenient. Amity just stops giving a shit about being an intellectual AT ALL post her getting a crush. Hunter wears a wolf t-shirt and gets into Cosmic Frontier enough to cosplay it for Halloween... But only Halloween. These are people who are extremely socially acceptable in every way.

Which... explains why nerds love them actually. See, I think Big Bang Theory does deserve criticism, it is by no means perfect and I would be VERY interested in hearing what the Jewish community thinks of Howard who is easily the most problematic character in the show but not all of the criticism is genuine. I think a lot of it comes down to the fact that we're used to a side, gag character representing the kind worst parts of us... But we're not used to being the focus. We can laugh at all the broke bitches who show up in Sitcoms or the jock failures who are meatheads, etc. like that... But laugh at ourselves? Why would we do that? Why would we allow that? We're better than what this show depicts, even if we're not.

It is inconvenient to the narrative we wish to tell ourselves that we are still the outcasts. That are we not part of the dominant culture and so it is unfair to mock our interests and lifestyle. But like... Marvel movies have been the biggest blockbusters for well over a decade and no one bats a fucking at that. D&D is quickly becoming a household name due to its ever expanding influence. We are not the outcasts anymore. Being into a weird cartoon is not some shocking thing like it was 12 years ago when Bronies first made people aware that this subculture of nerds existed. Times are changing but we still wish to see ourselves as only the victims, even as more and more our spaces show that they are just as evil, corrupt, manipulative and cruel as any athletic superstar or pretty boy actor's club.

A lot of these nerds want to believe they are Luz. Never wrong, never giving anyone a reason to dislike them, and always just passionate about the things they like, never annoying. And you know who those people would mock? Who those people HAVE mocked?

Hooty. Because he's more real. He's the demon they wish they didn't have to face in the mirror. See you next tale.

======+++++======

I really do want to re-emphasize this: FUCK HOWARD. Big Bang is NOT good for the jewish community and I don't think if I watched it nowadays I would be able to tolerate his depiction AT ALL. Also, Raj is also probably all sorts of rough too. I'm ONLY defending the nerd portrayal part of Big Bang.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[anxious-witch]

On Charles, Edwin and Crystal's relationship with violence and how it does(and doesn't) solve their peoblems, and the inherit privledge of considering non-violence can always be the answer.

Before I get to it, sorry I cannot for the life of me find the post that talked about DBDA's relationship to violence aka that it shows that there is always a better solution and how most of the problems are solved through other means. It is a really good post, so if anyone knows it, please send me the link so I can put it here.

Anyway. What I wanted to say is that while yes, I partially agree, I don't think that's quite correct. Or not always. The series definitely makes a point of saying that things should be solved by other means whenever possible, but I think we see 3 instances where that isn't true. The first meeting with The Night Nurse and Charles, Crystal meeting David in the woods, and in part, Charles getting Edwin out of Hell.

Before I get to breaking down how each one was necessary, I think what kind of bothers me is the reaction Edwin and Crystal have to Charles attacking the Night Nurse. Not so much the inital reaction because I understand that they both have trauma connected to violence, but them insisting his reaction was extreme slightly...irks me?

I understand it from Crystal-she had a lot on her plate in the past few weeks and she just got out of abusive rs. Not to mention, she doesn't know Charles and Edwin for that long. But Edwin? My god did I wanna shake him.

Like, don't get me wrong, I love Edwin to death and the fact that he is flawed is part of that but I wish it was acknowledged that his disregard for self defense and to be able to not only refuse violence, but in many cases when Charles steps in to protect him to not even move aside because he knows Charles is there for what it is-a privledge. The fact that he never had ti physically defend himself ever since he got out of Hell is a privledge because Charles does it. And to no small personal cost. I don't think Charles likes to be violent. He doesn't revel in it, and we actually see him break down several times over thinking he is a bad person because he uses violence to defend himself and his friends.

Does he sometimes use it impulsively? Yes, as seen in the episode with the Devlins'. And he pays dearly for hi error, being stuck in a loop that's directly related to his own trauma.

But in some situations, there was no other answer. The Night Nurse would have made him and Edwin relieve their trauma until they gave in. Crystal couldn't help and in that moment, neither could Niko. Charles' violence gave them more time, which gave Edwin and then Niko, more time to think of a peaceful solution. Of a bargain. But it would not have been possible without Charles kicking her off the cliff.

For the scene with David in the woods-yeah, sure he didn't solve the whole problem of David altogether, but he did A) male him fuck off for the forseeable future and B) helped Crystal feel safer due to the fact he defended her when she was powerless. With the violence, he gives her time to gain her powers back, to come and resolve it directly when she feels safe and confident enough to do so.

We see it once again when he goes to save Edwin in Hell. Yes, they get out of Hell by running, but when Charles initally suggests it, Edwin is terrified. "If I run it chases me," he says and he doesn't move. So what does Charles do? He throws a bomb at the Dollhead Spider. Which once again, gives them time to run and escape and perhaps more importantly makes Edwin feel safe.

Violence is considered bad for a reason. But I think who and why someone uses violence is very important. A bully throwing a hit for fun and a victim throwing one back to defend themselves aren't the same. They cannot be the same. And bullies, no matter the form they take, sometimes only understand violence.

I am not saying go ahead and kill someone for bullying you. But I am saying that sometimes, the teachers don't listen until you throw a punch back. Problems should always be tried to solved peacefully, but if you think every problem can be solved non-violently, I think you had the privledge to never have to do so.

Charles takes on the burden of being a protector, of using violence as means of protection and I really hope that's acknowledged at some point. Because while yes, Edwin obviously has his own talents, Charles does his job at a great personal cost. And sometimes, while violence cannot solve the root of the problem, it can give you more time and space to get to the root. And that's okay, as long as you don't lose sight of why are you using measures you are using.

[antispopausandstuff]

stans criticize antis for including the scene of Catra scarring Adora as a child in the cycle of abuse, going on about how she was just a kid, that a kid can't be abusive, etc., but here's the thing:

there's this kid i know and love. they're autistic, non-verbal // limited in speech, and are prone to emotional bursts. they always know more than people think, try to help you if you cry, and absolutely loves sharing food // treats with others and meeting new people.

but there are times i'm scared of them. hell, there's times i, admittedly, hate them.

i understand that they have little impulse control, that they're a child, a disabled one at that, and they don't understand the consequences of hurting someone or maybe even that they're hurting someone at all, but your "fight or flight", your anxiety, your fears, PTSD, etc. does not care who or what it is.

that and, honestly, i still resent my bullies. i know they were kids, too, but that doesn't take away from the pain and embarrassment i felt. for so long, i thought i was completely unlikable, and it was because of them. my ma tried to teach me the "ignore them", "kill them with kindness", "sympathy // empathy" lessons, but none of them worked.

bullying and abuse aren't that different, if they are at all. the victims always suffer, in one way or another, and bullying // abuse can lead to suicide, mental decline, physical decline, and overall ruin your entire fucking life for so long.

i understand that kids are little balls of energy and don't understand the consequences of their actions. my bullies likely thought what happened to me wasn't a big deal or was just a joke. maybe they didn't even have bad intentions in the first place. but that doesn't take away what i've gone through since then, because of them.

Catra was a child, yes, but so was Adora. why do you forget that? any child would be scared of someone, even their best friend in the whole world, if they just suddenly clawed them in the face just for asking "why did you do it?", any child. anyone, in fact.

there's exceptions, but generally speaking, we're afraid of what severely hurts us. Catra severely hurt Adora, just for asking a question that anyone else would've asked.

the cycle of abuse continued when Catra didn't care about Adora's health and safety, meanwhile Adora always cared.

now, after this, it's just speculation, but i had an interesting thought.

Catra punched Lonnie ( presumably, as there's no scar or implication that she clawed her, just that she hit her, and that typically means punching ), but clawed Adora. and hard enough to send her flying halfway across the room.

yeah, Catra was angry with Lonnie ( jealous ), but, ultimately, it's Adora who suffers the worst consequence. the writers obviously let Catra do what she likes, but i think this is just more evidence that she knew, even subconsciously, that Adora wouldn't fight back.

i originally thought that Catra only used her claws against Adora because of her hatred and knowing that Adora wouldn't do anything, but there's something else to consider.

she's clawed Octavia, disabling her, and almost did the same to Lonnie.

now, why would she do that to either of them, when neither have that much important to her, in comparison to Adora?

in the first scene, Catra did it just because she could. just because she thought Octavia was, more or less, ugly.

in the second scene, Catra did it because Lonnie pissed her off. but she's been pissed off before, many times, even to Lonnie, so why only try to claw her now?

to me, it reads as her using her claws on a person ( directly or indirectly ) when she knows the other is defenseless, in some way or form, or as a form of punishment. not necessarily because they have importance to her.

Adora just happened to be the one she wanted to punish the most.

[lemonluvgirl]

Anybody who says Katniss was bullied into marriage and having children either, A.) Doesn't know Katniss Everdeen, and therefore did NOT read the books, or B.) They have completely misinterpreted the entire message of The Hunger Games series and are incapable of seeing the bigger picture.

Which is that Katniss never wanted to be anything more than free. She just wanted to take care of her family and live her life freely. All these people harping on her for getting married and having babies forget that Katniss made her vow not to marry as a reaction to her father's death and her mother's abandonment.

That decision and almost all of her subsequent decisions in the books up until the end of Mockingjay regarding love and marriage revolve around fear.

The message of the Hunger Games when it comes to love is not that there is nothing to fear about falling in love or getting attached to people. All through the series its proved time and again that love and emotional attachment is costly. Because everytime Katniss allows herself to get close to someone they get hurt.

But what Katniss learns is that love and caring for others cannot be avoided completely. It's part of the human experience that cannot be denied unless you want to end up like President Snow, emotionally dead inside, caring only about yourself and what people can do for you. And avoiding/running away from human connection is often just as painful as losing it. And it is detrimental to people.

Katniss loses her sister in the war and almost loses herself because feels she failed at protecting the people she cared for. Everyone from Prim, to Rue, to Cinna, Squad 451, Finnick, and Peeta. She is barely alive and barely hanging onto her sanity after the war.

The thing that brings her back to life is Peeta moving back to District 12. His return is the sign that she can rebuild her life after losing nearly everything.

Because Peeta too, lost nearly everything including his own mind. But he fought hard to reclaim his memories and his mental health. He helps Katniss recover from the mental and emotional toll the war and everything that came before.

Because at the foundation of their relationship is their enduring promise to keep each other alive, to protect each other, and it goes so much deeper than romance or sex and whatnot.

They've been through hell and back many times and know each other inside out. When they fall back in love it's not because they feel pressured, but because they finally feel free to do so. It's just them and Haymitch in the Victors village and they know they don't have to put on an act for him, or anyone really.

Their relationship is finally allowed to take it's natural course, which Katniss clearly states was inevitable.

This would have happened anyway people.

And when she decides to have children she is afraid at first. From personal experience I can tell you it's terrifying, the idea of bringing new life into the world. It's a feeling of responsibility that never gets easier or ever really goes away. But the joy of allowing yourself to love and be loved in return is incomparable.

Not every heroine needs to get married and have babies, I will admit. But for Katniss it closes out her character arc perfectly.

She fights so hard, and loses so much, but ultimately rebuilds and faces her deepest fears. She doesn't let her loses define her. She believes her life can be good again. And then she makes it good again. One day at a time.

Which is a lesson to all of us about the endurance of the human spirit and about how female characters are allowed to find happiness and contentment in whatever form they chose. Flower dresses and chubby newborns and all.

[inconveniently-discorporated]

I saw the Barbie movie.

One thing I did not expect was to have Feelings about what it is like to be a neurodivergent woman.

This wasn't even really addressed in the movie directly at all (aside I guess from having "weird Barbie" who lives separately from everyone else and takes in the "broken Barbies", and all of the super-positive and "uplifting" Barbies who were supportive of each other were OPENLY rejecting her because of things that were beyond her control and didn't even make her harmful to their society, just not entirely Like Them...)(okay I guess I lied, I guess they did address it and it didn't really click for me until now). (I'm still leaving that sentence in because I'm so shocked at how the point of this post is how minimized I have felt as a woman, TO THE POINT I APPEAR TO HAVE MINIMIZED THE WOMAN I CAN ENTIRELY EMPATHIZE WITH.)

Anyway. It was made EXTREMELY clear by my peers from literally day one that I was Different. I mean, I'd had one-off interactions with kids before kindergarten, but going to school was the first time I was seeing the same group of children every day.

I remember being utterly baffled. Many kids seemed to understand what to do already. Most kids were friends with someone by the end of the first day. One of my most vivid memories was from the first day almost 30 years ago, when I turned to one of the girls -- her name was Sofia, she had waist-length black hair, and her name card was a laminated piece of letter practice paper. I asked her, "How does everyone know this already?"

Her answer was that she went to preschool, and for the longest time I thought that was it. I thought that was the only reason why I didn't Get It, and never Got It from then until I graduated and from then until after I got and quit my first job and moved onto my second job (where there happens to be A LOT of neurodivergent people and I seem to get it a lot better now). It didn't occur to me that there were other kids who admittedly didn't go to preschool, who didn't have the same problem as me, and other kids who did go to preschool (because believe me, I was asking) who DID have the same problem as me (and looking back I remember at least one point where the teacher had to address the class about bullying people who were "different").

Moving from childhood into adolescence, it was made EXCEEDINGLY clear to me that I wasn't simply a Different Person, but moreso a Different Woman. It was made apparent that I was NOT an object of desire, and I did NOT deserve to think of myself as such in any way, shape, or form.

I didn't simply ignore makeup because it was expensive, and a little confusing, and somewhat of a sensory difficulty. I ignored it because I didn't think it was for me. I wasn't allowed to be one of those girls. I didn't only ignore fashion because clothes shopping was overwhelming and I couldn't spend that kind of energy in the morning putting together an outfit (not that I had a cohesive closet anyway). I ignored it because of the giggles I heard behind my back when I DID try to camouflage as A Normal Girl, because of the comments like, "Look at her wearing that belt like she thinks she's cute."

It affected me so much that I frankly didn't see myself as a "real woman" until I was in my (LATE) twenties. It's not that I didn't want to be a woman, it's that I didn't think I was allowed to feel like one. I was absolutely convinced that my husband would someday discover this "secret" about me -- that I wasn't a "real woman" -- and leave me. I literally thought he was lying to me about being attracted to me.

This did eventually change with work on my self-esteem, but one of the results is something that still persists to this day -- I feel simultaneously constrained by the societal views of women, while being almost entirely unable to relate. I went into that movie and left, today, realizing that I STILL feel like I'm Not Allowed to feel like I have some of these problems.

I've never been cat-called (though I have been screamed at by people on the street for not being desirable enough of a woman in public). But I HAVE been dismissed as an overdramatic woman by medical professionals, when my husband wouldn't get the same treatment. I've never been harassed for my number, but I HAVE had men harass and belittle me at the mechanic for saying "no" to them, who then promptly stopped the moment my husband walked into the shop and came up beside me. I've never been told I'm too pretty to be smart, but I HAVE had men refuse to talk to me and seek out my less-experienced male coworkers for answers instead.

So I drove away realizing that this dichotomy still exists for me. I couldn't relate to Barbie crying because she didn't feel pretty enough, because I've never felt like that pressure actually applied to me -- it was just always made apparent by my childhood peers that I wasn't, and didn't deserve to even worry about whether I was attractive enough. And I realized that these other pressures were the same way -- I didn't feel the pressure to be the perfect leader, because of course I couldn't be that. I didn't feel the pressure to fit in perfectly, because of course I just already couldn't.

I want to do extraordinary things, not because people expect that of me as a woman, but because people think I CAN'T as someone who is Different and Not Like Them. People are SHOCKED when I eventually adapt to a social situation (like a new job), and show that I can contribute at the same level as other people once I learn what I'm doing.

Kind of like how the Kens didn't even bother with Weird Barbie, she was just forgotten in her weird house, and she ended up being the one to help them all. And then at the end, when the Barbies realize what they've done to her, they apologize and she just sort of goes, "Eh, that's how it is."

I don't know. It's just a very weird place to be. And it can all probably be summed up by the fact that I didn't even register her experience as something I could entirely relate to, until I went to write this post about the experience that I entirely relate to.

[neverenoughmarauders]

Hii! What are your personal headcanons about james and sirius friendship?

I've got soooooo many. In the end, I thought I'd share three big ones rather than a long list of small stuff.

Sirius and James were each other's first friend - as well as first best friend

Yes, I know, James was clearly adored by his family and had a great upbringing. But he was raised by very elderly parents, whose friends probably had grown up kids by the time James was born. I don't see him going to muggle school, so I've always pictured James as someone with a loving family, but no friend before starting at Hogwarts. Being an only child I think it could have made him lonely, even if he wasn't lonely in the 'he had no one around him who loved him', more lonely in the sense of 'he didn't really have anyone his own age to play with.'

Sirius, I hc to never having truly fitted in with his family. Some people are very much a product of their childhood and their parents believes - but some aren't. Some have always grown up knowing that their parents have (in their view) the wrong measure of things, and I've just always pictured Sirius to fall into this category. What his upbringing has brought to him, is the same confidence that privilege often brings - and has brought to both him and James, even if that privilege in Sirius' case, is also tainted by a cold and unloving childhood.

Like many, I do think he was closer to Regulus before Hogwarts, but I think he knew, deep down that they were different. I think we can categorically state that Sirius did not go to muggle school (lol), and I think the people his family surrounded themselves with would be people Sirius wouldn't enjoy, so yes, I picture both Sirius and James as friendless prior to Hogwarts.

This is part of why they take to each other so so quickly. They've always wanted a best friend, and suddenly they run into this person they just vibe/click with. In fact, if you read my fic you will notice that I've made all the marauders friendless ahead of befriending each other. I think Peter was bullied, Remus was obviously growing up in isolation (that's just canon), and I've explained my thoughts of Sirius and James. I think this dynamic made them super eager to protect and foster this friendship group.

Assuming Sirius would be able to cast a Patronus (not sure he could) after Azkaban, his would have been a stag

In fact, I wrote a one shot about this: I can't love you back to life, but I can live your love.

While this is entirely a headcanon, I have my reasons for it. Firstly, there's a strong parallel (and contrast!) between Severus Snape and Sirius Black. Both came from quite challenging home situations, both had some expectation of being in Slytherin (whether that was personal expectations or family expectations), but clearly had a need to differentiate themselves from their family, and both spent the majority of their adult life mourning and punishing themselves for a mistake that cost them their (former, in Snape's case) best friend's life. They also spent that adulthood trying to make it up to their best friend. YES there are lots of differences between the two, and that's an essay in itself, but fundamentally, Snape lives in the service of Lily's memory and Sirius in the service of James' memory. Snape's Patronus is a doe, and I don't think it's a stretch to assume that Sirius' would likewise be a stag.

From the wizarding world:

The form of a Patronus may change during the course of a witch or wizard’s life. Instances have been known of the form of the Patronus transforming due to bereavement, falling in love or profound shifts in a person’s character. 

And also from the wizarding world:

The Patronus is, after all, on its most fundamental level, ‘a pure, protective magical concentration of happiness and hope’. Happiness and hope, with which love often walks arm in arm.

The times Sirius is described to be at his happiest is when James was alive and happy, such as when Lily and James got married. Given he pretty much acts only in their memory and out of love for them and Harry in the books, just like Snape's whole essence is to keep Harry alive for Lily, it just makes sense in my head.

You pretty much did NEVER see one without the other

Wait? That's just canon!? Yes, of course it is, but it still opens it up for interpretation HOW literal those statements are, when the teachers, Fudge and Rosmerta discuss them.

I think they were pretty much inseparable, like: always, for a few different reasons. For one, the teachers are pretty strong worded in the way they describe this friendship:

‘Do you remember who his best friend was?’ ‘Naturally,’ said Madam Rosmerta, with a small laugh. ‘Never saw one without the other, did you? The number of times I had them in here – ooh, they used to make me laugh. Quite the double act, Sirius Black and James Potter!’ Harry dropped his tankard with a loud clunk. Ron kicked him. ‘Precisely,’ said Professor McGonagall. ‘Black and Potter. Ringleaders of their little gang. Both very bright, of course – exceptionally bright, in fact – but I don’t think we’ve ever had such a pair of troublemakers –’ ‘I dunno,’ chuckled Hagrid. ‘Fred and George Weasley could give ’em a run fer their money.’ ‘You’d have thought Black and Potter were brothers!’ chimed in Professor Flitwick. ‘Inseparable!’ ‘Of course they were,’ said Fudge. 

In the series, you do really never see Fred and George apart, and we're not going to go into when that changes. I don't think the parallel is by chance, even without the whole 'trouble-maker' aspect.

Also, the mirrors. Sorry, they had to speak to (or pull faces at?) each other during separate detentions? It was that bad to be apart for a few hours? I am not even sure it's cute. It's clearly co-dependent- and unhealthy, but it's fiction and we love them for it.

Finally, we actually never see James and Sirius apart in all the flashbacks we have during the story (including the 800 word short JKR? wrote), until James is in hiding. Like: wedding photos of James and Lily? Yes, but Sirius is also there. From the moment we learn who Sirius is (not counting PS/SS mentioning him by name), he is present by James' side.

Does that mean I think Lily and James went on dates with Sirius? No, of course not, but aside from romance, I think they were pretty hard to see apart. In fact, I'd say that in my long fic, I actually possibly underplay it a little because I do want Sirius and James to have scenes with the other marauders without the other one present. What level of inseparable am I thinking of?

Sirius would watch James' Quidditch practices unless the weather was too bad (which admittedly will have been a great deal in Scotland). And while I don't think JKR intended for Sirius to play Quidditch, I actually find it hard to picture him not getting on the house team so he could spend time with James, but that one, I do go back and forth on.

I think they absolutely took all the same subjects. It wasn't a question of what one of them wanted to take, it was always: what electives are we taking. I don't think the teachers basically did see them apart.

I am also not sure they would have chosen different occupations had they not joined the Order and lived off their inheritance, and it's not to romanticise their friendship. Ron follows Harry to become an Auror, and while I think Ron and Harry are closer than people remember, and are a strong parallel to Sirius and James (also the two did take the same subjects in school), I think Sirius and James were a bit closer still. So I find it hard to believe the two of them would choose different jobs. Even though both Sirius and James are, at least from what I see them as, independent people. They are just not independent of each other.

I think James, Lily AND Sirius became closer friends in year 6, which leads the way for James and Lily dating in year 7, as Lily increasingly feel confident that the two boys have started to mature, crowned by James becoming Head Boy.

I very much believe James and Sirius moved in together first after Hogwarts, and that James wanted them to have a few years together just being boys, but that the war just sped everything up. Also, in case you saw my 'I recently went to a wedding' post, that best man lived with the bride and groom for a LONG time before they got their own place, so I do sort of headcanon Lily to have moved in with them both before she and James got married (I also think they got married not that long before Harry was conceived - but that is a different post)

And so on.

What I certainly don't buy, is the number of posts where Sirius and Remus walks into a room and start talking to James. Nope. Sirius and James might walk into a room and start talking to Remus. Doesn't matter if Sirius and Remus were romantically involved (which I don't hc) or not. Sirius and James were hard to find apart. Most of that is canon, some of that is headcanon.

Time to pack up, congratulate myself on another too long post about how I obviously got everything right (don't worry, most of my reasoning is truly just explaining how it ended up making sense in my head), and say mischief managed.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[sharkrad08222222]

Misfits in Toyland Changeling the lost edition

I fuckin love @zal-cryptid 's Toylanders, so I decided to transfer a few into the works of Changeling: The lost, starting with someone who probably wants to be out of here. So HERE IS THE CHARATERS SHEET! ...ah shit forgot people dont know what changeling the lost is...Hold on let me get my thinking cap on, but first, a story of how I think Tammy got in and out of Arcaida.

Once(the Backstory, which I might not need to add and it probably wrong, but I aint wasting it.) Tammy Yokoi was not someone who you wanted to meet. Sure at first, they seemed ok, but give them anything important to do that she had no interest in and she would throw it aside, and probably make fun of you for thinking said task meant anything. This is what made Krampus catch his eye, where he followed her and saw how she was just The worst. Outing a Girl as intersex, outing the same girl as a Lesbian, which pretty much Destroyed her life, and being such a terrible babysitter, that she NEARLY caused one kid to die, and sad kid would have if Krampus didn't step in. Thinking of an apporeate punishment, he turned her into a tamagotchi and pulled her away into his little kingdom in Arcadia. As a tamagotchi, she was unable to feed or clean, herself, and died multiple times, only to come back and to starve all over again. This happened twice before being found, where she was thrust into many a Test to get her working, form being stuck in doom, Monkey Island, and various others, all in a way to improve her living situations. It wasn't all bad, she did meet a Woman named Mel, who got turned into a pull string Baby doll, who she grew rather fond of. but also met the girl she ruined the life of, Jen, who has an Axe to grind. Now.(Life as a changeling) She does not remember how she got out of her plastic prisons, all she remember is that Mel is in danger and she tried to stop it and she then found herself behind a pizzeria. She was quickly found by a summer patrol when she tried to get back to Arcaida, and now is a part of the local Summer court of (insert whatever big city of the state Tammy was form?) Here she is a Driven Elemental, working on getting connected with people to hopefully get back to Arcadia so she can give Krampus a piece of her mind. However, her time has changed her, form a bully to a more care taker role. She still packs quite the snark, but she does give a damn about the people around her. 

Mask and Mien Most changelings are changed form their encounter, literally as they their bodies and souls where forced into new shapes,a Mien. but exiting and the Desire to remain hidden form their form captors looking for escapees, has created their mask. Tammy’s mask is pretty similar to her origins forum, but for the supernatural looking for tells , her heartbeat is more like a Hospital monitor, her eyes show a pixelated reflection, her voice has  only the slightest hint of static.

Her Mien makes her looks like she’s been Rotoscoped into reality, with a body showing visible pixels. Not the most Terrifying but it’s unusual for sure. I would shit my self I say a person suddenly go form normal to Rotoscoped person holding rotoscoped shot gun. Seeming, Kith and Court. Seeming was you where in Arcadia Elementals were people made into forces of nature who got confined to a lined area, but eventually Freed, and now have a lot of power on their hands. As an Elemental of Code and Computer stuff, Tammy can cause computers to bleed pixels and for Monitors to shoot stuff out at people.  Kiths are the roles people got forced into. Being Eletrical in nature, and now with the ability to manipluate a code, Tammy is a Levinquick with the abilithy telaport between the air waves. Carries alot of burner phones for this. Courts are a mix of support Group and survialist club. NO ONE wants to go back, the summer court espselly, who if they keepers are going to try to take them back, they are going to fight tooth, nail, bone and Whatever else to get them to back off. Tammy Joined the summer court cuase to her they seem like the ones most likely to barg into or at least teach the skills on how to do so. For her Mantle with the courts, she is a bit sharper with her insults.

Clarity And keeping it together. Clarity represents how "stable" a changeling is, how connected they are to reality. Clarity is how aware a Changeling is to the world around them, and creatian actions or events can cause this track to take damage Tammy has a common on of not wanting to keep people against their will, cause you know the whole being trapped in a tamagotchi again her will sort of thing. Tammy also doesnt not like it when she witnesses someone experiences Neglect, cause she knows how that feels. Starvation is in the same boat as Neglect, not only for witnessing it but also for feeling it. Another things that cause her clarity attacks is being reminded of pass behaviors. She Realizes that she was bad, and does not want to repeat them, BUT rather than face them, she instead runs from them, buries them. if you think that she could fall back into old habits…you are not wrong.  Luckly though Touchstones, connections to realuty are mantianed and Clarity can be regained. Tammy's Touchstones are a group of kids she babysits for, a circle of kids if you will. was it the best idea to go baby sitting again, but it has given her Convection, with the small rings of kids she baby sits over months and week ends. plus cash for paying her half of the rent. Speaking of which what do all these dots mean? If one has played any TTRPGies, like a D&D, you probably know what skills and attaubies are, Willpower is willpower, burn it to be more likly to succed at a task Glamour is Emontial Fuel that both fuels abilities and existence. but merits is where things get intresting. Merits repersnet more specialzied skills, special training, innate Biological abilities, assets of all sorts, ETC, ETC. Changelings need Glamour to survive and can feel like shit if they dont get any so, but Tammy due to the deprecation she faced in Arcadia has developed a body that take some Glamour Fasting It will still catch up with her but not as fast, at least until she can find some, hedge fruit or People she can feed form.  Having been gone for so long, she has been somewhat forgotten, her parents given up their search, and most of her fellow classmates having moved on, she’s a ghost. Pure Anonymity.  No paper trail, no Criminal Record, none of that.

Her Drive and old skills form playing baseball has come back, make her a Relentless chaser.

She’s made some Allies outside of her summer court, a group of baby sitters, mostly being their to help with unruly kids or getting them to cover for her. They dont know her true nature, but that is liable to change, espelly with one going into clown collage.  Elemental Warrior...We will talk about that later.

A mixed blessing form Her time in Arcadia, but her body has somehow Become Hardy out how to go on even when the ravages of the world are after her. but WAIT THEIR'S MORE due to the laws and red tape of Reality, changelings can take up contracts with the funablemtal forces of the universe. On the list their is the classic for all elementls elemental weapon! Using the code around her she shapes it into a weapons to use against her foes. Usually a shotgun of some sort, but with enough concentration he can summon an old Navel Cannon. Need to scare someone off? Overpowering Dread, is the ability to do just that. Tammy could Summons the illusion of a big scary monster but she usually just makes them leave though supernatural potent Insults.

Do you want to put a curse on a target, but dont have time for a HEX? Retrograde is the choice for you. Tammy's manfest , causing  the targets phone to not work, computers to crash and for the GPS to break down.  Sometimes you need to hide, or make it look like your unattiable and Trapdoor Spider’s Trick is ,well, the trick. Tammy causes any doors to appear barracked with the power of an anti virus software. Sometimes you need to make some one really pissed off, so that is why Tammy uses Sunburnt Heart is infusing someone with the anger of the sun(The sun is well known for being incredibly petty, still hasnt forgiven her kids cause they killed here dad), so using the power of the summer sun, Tammy can infuse people with the rage, and then direct those people away form her.

owever if tammy wants to use her own rage, Elemental Fury is the go too. Causing all the srceens to bleed out pixels what replate environments, while also damaging all who are caught in. A favor of hers is sending a crap ton of rude messages to a bunch of people causing them to riot in an area.

and this STILL isnt everything, but DEAR GOD I have been here for too long, and I am going to go now...and stat out Krampus.

[lauraneedstochill]

I've never liked to think that Aemond is evil, just someone who's been hurt too much time and time again and saw no justice for it; do you think he's evil? or that there's more to it than simply that? That he genuinely cares about people, his mother, his family?

I do not consider show!Aemond evil — I’d like to believe that, as the definition of the word suggests, you have to be more immoral and wicked, perhaps even a bit sadistic to be downright evil. I see him as calculating, emotionless, cold, and that paired with everything he’s done makes him a villain but not necessarily evil (…yet?).

his current feelings, though? I have no fcking clue because the show is doing a very poor job of explaining them properly. to me, Aemond from Season 1 and Aemond from Season 2 are two different people.

🔪 S1 Aemond, yes, he cared about his mother (she sought justice for him when no one else did, she offered him comfort even when she couldn’t fully understand his struggles), his family (he’d grow up thinking he had to step up and be the responsible one — to eventually take pride in becoming someone his family can rely on), and he knew what loyalty was, despite not being ecstatic about the order of things (Alicent did drill “in the world we must defend our own” into her kids' heads, and you bet, he was the fastest learner). the real tragedy of Aemond — to me — was about his deepest desires and his arrogance clashing with the picture-perfect image he’s grown into and didn’t mind portraying as it got him the love and trust of the ones he cared about, the approval and respect of everyone else. but his desires are too big and burning, and his arrogance is only fuel: of course, he deserves it all and he should take it — and he can take it BUT it will ruin the image he’s crafted and the bonds he’s formed. raised by the woman who put duty above all, can he betray everything she taught him to believe in? there are a few ways things can go from there but all the paths lead to his self-isolation and his downfall, although he keeps trying and trying to prove something till the very end, and it’s sad because it’s relatable — we are all trying, we all hate feeling that we are capable of more but simultaneously aren’t enough. if only he put all that effort somewhere else, maybe he could’ve been happier but we will never know. he dies young.

🔪 but S2 Aemond? they packed his character development in the tiniest bag and it’s never been opened once. the writers are so keen on blaming Aegon for everything, they don’t realize that making Aemond do a 180 because of one unfortunate joke is a disservice to the character. him deciding that regicide and fratricide aren’t a big deal is as wild as it is dumb: there’s no way he didn’t know it would damage his relationships with the very few people who loved him. how long can you milk “he was bullied as a child” before it bites you in the ass and makes your super-cool-much-wow character look like a thin-skinned boy who holds on to every offense instead of idk MOVING ON? because he did get his justice — he got the biggest dragon as a fuck you to the people who made fun of him for not having one, he only got stronger despite losing an eye, he got to be his mom’s most precious son and he DID get Luke killed (even if by mistake, the result is still the same — the bastard who maimed him won’t ever make fun of him again). how is that not enough? who and when decided that Aemond becoming a bully himself would be a great achievement? why holding him accountable for what he did isn’t fair but him being vengeful left and right is praised and cheered for? and he is not complex, I’m sorry, he just isn’t. he’s been robbed of proper reasoning and conflict, and I am getting tired of trying to peer into his one eye to get a hint of emotion while S1 Aemond could at least grant us little outbursts here and there to confirm that he is a human being and he can successfully keep his facade up while also having feelings.

S1 Aemond was many things, all of them fascinating. S2 Aemond makes me want to skip to the scenes of Daemon getting high and scared in some leaking castle (and I’m starting to wonder if maybe that’s the point?).

anyways, I hope Ryan Condal will be out of job when the show is over.