#but anyways. i just played a ranked game and there was a fuse and i was internally kicking my feet and blushing

[blodhundrr]

gogshgshghshdjfjhgggg i love bloodhound so much im going to combust

thinking thoughts about them generally shaving their head like that’s their Usual Haircut but they’re not very consistent with retrimming it so a lot of the time it starts getting shaggy. maybe even a short mullet at times. or they try to get the top bit out of the way and tie it into a little ponytail on the top of their head bc it’s too short for an actual half up ponytail. they occupy approximately 75% of my brain right now and i haven’t drawn in ages so im justimagining this in my head and rotating them around like they’re in the microwave

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

This is a post absolutely nobody asked for because 0 of you follow me for Takes on music, but one of the pop music podcasts I listen to has been all in on Pop Girl Spring, and they played a little game the other week where they did a draft for the top 10 songs from all the albums they’ve been covering – so that’s the new releases by Taylor Swift, Beyonce, Maggie Rogers, Gracie Abrams, Dua Lipa, Billie Eilish, Charli XCX, Ariana Grande, and Kacey Musgraves, plus the currently charting album-less singles by Sabrina Carpenter and Chappell Roan.  And while I don’t have the fun structure of a competitive draft to play with, it did make me sit down and hash out my own Top 10, and I have literally nowhere to put the fruits of all that effort except Tumblr, so here’s way, way more words than anyone asked for about POP GIRL SPRING.

Listed in not-exactly no particular order, but also not in This Specific Order, like, this is not a countdown, I’m not ranking them with great specificity or anything.  The 10 songs I need on my imaginary Pop League Team.

Good Luck, Babe! (Chappell Roan): Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess is a great album and I think Roan has a great career ahead of her (knock on wood), but this is the first song she’s released that feels like a Timeless Hit to me, like the kind of thing that’s going to show up in Buzzfeed quizzes in the 2040s about picking the best songs from this decade.  On god, this could be one of the best pop choruses ever written – starting with that fucking high note is such a flex! – and it’s such a poster child for how great, earwormy pop music can tell a fairly specific story and make it feel deeply universal.  Legendary.  No notes.

Espresso (Sabrina Carpenter): SONG OF THE SUMMER.  Is it a better pop song than Good Luck, Babe?  No.  Is it the Song of the Summer anyway?  Yes, because those aren’t supposed to be Timeless, they’re supposed to make you forever remember *this specific summer* in your life.  It’s a great song with an unbeatable hook, and I dig the fact that it makes just slightly less sense than it probably should – caffeine is the metaphor for…how you’re going to stay up nights thinking about Sabrina Carpenter?  Okay.  Whatever you say.  It’s not a song about anything, which sometimes is bad but in this case is amazing, and there’s something marvelously audacious about committing to lines like “walked in and dream-came-true’d it for ya.”  Bonkers.  Delightful.  Carpenter has put out like 4 albums which does not seem possible for someone I up until now only vaguely remembered as “was on that nostalgia-bait Boy Meets World sequel series,” but man, she came to play with this one.

BILLIE GETS TWO

BIRDS OF A FEATHER: Hit Me Hard and Soft is a fantastic album, managing to edge further into straight-up pop territory without compromising the distinctive voice that’s made Eilish the Snobby Music Critic’s Pop Princess.  I have no idea how long she’s going to be able to (or want to) keep splitting the difference between these two identities, but she’s doing it right now, probably doing it better than anyone since Little-Earthquakes-era Tori Amos.  I chose this song because I think it does the best job of fusing those elements: it’s a right-down-the-middle love song in the classic pop vein of “i know my baby is a life-ruining trainwreck but honestly i do not care,” and it’s got good mid-tempo ballad structure with that little bit of haunted-ness that is Eilish’s signature sound, and I just think it’s probably the most solid song on the album.

CHIHIRO: This one is my *favorite* song on the album, which is why it’s here.  I don’t know what it’s about.  It’s not particularly “radio-friendly” (is that a thing anymore? What do we say instead of that? Digestible?)  It’s slinky and vaguely threatening and it just feels like a song that nobody else could do. It’s the one that’s been most consistently stuck in my head since I first listened to the album.  I feel like it’s flying under the radar a little, but I’m super here for it.

The Kill (Maggie Rogers): I feel like people sleep on Maggie Rogers because her marketing aesthetic seems kind of like, navel-gazing folky singer-songwriter, which is not all that Of the Moment right now.  But the thing is, that’s really not accurate at all!  Her music is just straight down-the-middle, strongly crafted pop, WHY is she not more famous?  She’s so good!  Don’t Forget Me is just so, so solid as a pop album, crammed full of songs that are massive hits in some alternate universe. “It Was Coming All Along” is my personal favorite, but for this list I’m sticking with The Kill, just because it seems to be the closest thing to a breakout hit off the album and I want to hype it up.  It’s a bouncy, incredibly sing-along-able song about a mutually destructive relationship, what is not to love.  Pop music was invented for this.

BEYONCE ALSO GETS TWO

BODYGUARD:  Look, I’m going to level with you, I wanted to like Cowboy Carter a lot more than I did. For me, the album has exactly the same flaw as Renaissance did, which is that it fundamentally feels like Beyonce has done a *ton* of research for her music history degree, stuffed every bit of it into the album, and by god you are going to listen to her senior thesis on the Black roots of popular music.  Both albums are like – so smart and so sincere and they just feel – a little bogged down to me.  I don’t know.  This may be entirely because I am just not on Beyonce’s level here, but there’s something about Cowboy Carter that makes it hard for me to really love as an album, rather than as a project.  That said, there were several tracks I really liked, and this one’s probably my favorite, maybe because it sounds the most authentically like a Beyonce track to me.  Whatever you think of Jay-Z or of the Carters’ marriage, it’s undeniable that a huge part of her as an artist and a human is tied up in this idea of being one half of their partnership, and when she does these “it’s me and my baby versus all the rest of you bitches” songs, she always strikes what to my ear is her most authentic, heartfelt notes.  BODYGUARD has a cool, California-road-trip kind of vibe that puts me in mind a little of “03 Bonnie & Clyde,” but appropriately, more grown-up now.

YA YA: After complaining that a lot of her recent music feels a little too overstuffed with References, I have to say that this is one of the worst offenders – but it fuckin works.  This feels deeply retro but not at all in a corny way, a great update of a certain kind of mid-century honky-tonk music that makes it feel vital and current.  I don’t think Beyonce has truly hit the same high in terms of weaving her politics and her music together since Lemonade, but to me this song stands up well alongside that album (which for the record, I think was a generational achievement, a truly transcendent work of art).  Also, as appropriate for a song whose theme is “shake your ass in defiance of a world that does not care about you,” the ass-shaking game is on point!  I honestly wish this song had received all the success that went to TEXAS HOLD ‘EM, which is a song I truthfully feel is hokey and try-hard.  This one covers the same ground but infinitely better.

Von Dutch (Charli XCX): I am a naysayer to Brat Summer, I’m sorry to say; I think Charli is a fairly decent pop musician and Brat is a fairly decent pop album, but I do Not get the hype.  It’s got some worthwhile tracks, and I do appreciate that she’s allowed some space to excavate less-common themes in pop music – songs about wondering if now is when she should be having kids, about wrestling with the way that other women bring out her personal insecurities – rather than just the genre staples of Love and Partying and Being Awesome.  That said.  I think the best song on the album is just a regular-degular banger about partying and being awesome.  If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

YES, TAYLOR ALSO GETS TWO (man, it’s a 31-track double album! Get off my back!)

Down Bad: One of the things I don’t think Swift gets credit for, due to being overshadowed by the Harrowing Constant Drama of her personal life, is that she legitimately has a dry, off-kilter sense of humor that brings much-needed levity to the Harrowing Constant Drama of her body of work.  TTPD is, among other things, a *funny,* self-aware album about how knowing full well that your emotions are absolutely unhinged vis-a-vis actual reality doesn’t actually do jack shit to keep you from drowning in those emotions.  A lot of the hate for this album has really come from people who Do Not get the joke, who are cherry-picking verses and single lines from deeply self-aware songs without providing the context of that self-awareness.  I love this song.  I love the chorus: crying at the gym is a detail that’s perfectly, wryly relatable in its absurdity, and “everything comes out teenage petulance / fuck it, if I can’t have him I might just die” in that swingy, chipper groove is exactly why no one does it like she does, packing all that ambiguity and frustration and self-loathing of your own irrationality into a great hook.  I love the fuckin alien abduction framing device to talk about a relationship whose impact inside your own head and heart is wildly out of proportion to its impact on the materiality of your daily life – a relationship that *might as well have* happened on an entirely different planet than the one everyone else lives on.  It’s great.  This is a great song.

The Albatross: So I wanted for the second TTPD track to pick something from the other side of Swift, the one that *is* deeply, irretrievably, uncomfortably emotionally sincere.  There were definitely some strong contenders, but I kept coming back to this song, which I actually have heard very little chatter about, but has snuck up on me as an album favorite.  I try not to get too lost in the labyrinth of Swift’s endless Easter eggs and self-mythologizing, but this is a song that I do think benefits from understanding its place in her personal biography; specifically I think it gains a lot from seeing it as a companion piece to “The Archer,” a softly agonized song from the beginning of a relationship about the duality of predator and prey, about wanting to go all-in but dreading the part of you that you know is capable of sabotaging this.  The Albatross is – a softly agonized song from the ending of that same relationship about the duality of destruction and salvation, about wanting so much to protect someone you used to love from the havoc *that same love* has ultimately inflicted on their life.  There’s a whole novel lying in the space between these two songs, and both of them feel raw and intimate in the way they expose the pain and vulnerability and shame that shadow the act of allowing yourself to love someone.  TTPD was, in my opinion, rushed out too quickly, an experiment in presenting Swift’s emotions in a more unprocessed, uncrafted way to make a statement about art as a survival mechanism during emotional times, but an experiment that doesn’t entirely work; it truly could have benefited from another six to twelve months of cooking and a strong editorial pass.  To me, this song is a glimpse of what TTPD could have been if instead of being rushed to press in the middle of her ginormous tour for the sake of her own catharsis, it had been given the space and attention that Folklore/Evermore were given.  The Albatross is truly (like The Archer before it) an optimal wedding of Swift as a chronicler of her own interiority and Swift as a generationally gifted musical craftsman.

(I had a couple of also-rans, so shout out to Dua Lipa’s “Happy For You,” a song I really loved off an album I thought was kinda phoned-in overall, and Gracie Abrams’s “Tough Love,” through which I learned that there could potentially be something interesting about Gracie Abrams, someday.)

[bluesdesk]

People. 50.6% of 87 votes are exactly 44 votes. And 49.4% is 43 votes. Tears of the Kingdom lost to Alttp for ONE VOTE

Anyway, I decided to yeet both off the poll! Let the 9th round begin! There are 8 games left, and these are really the best. I still have one game I want to vote but then the choice will be harder!

As I've written many things about totk but I don't want to give unwanted spoilers, this time the rankings are here and my opinions on the games are under the cut!

<< Previous round

The CDIs

Triforce Heroes

Zelda 2

Hyrule Warriors / Legends / Definitive

Cadence of Hyrule

Zelda 1

Four Swords Adventures

Four Swords

Oracle of Seasons/Ages

Age of Calamity

Phantom Hourglass

Link's awakening/LANS

Spirit Tracks

Tears of the Kingdom

A link to the Past

Soo! TotK and AlttP. I played AlttP shortly after BotW on nso, when TotK still wasn't out. I liked it a lot at first, but I have to say I didn't complete it. It was technologically advanced for that time for sure, but I don't think it aged well. The dungeons didn't leave me anything valuable to remember, like other games did, the items weren't equipped easily and the story was too simple and banal.

As for TotK. Oh TotK. I got to play botw another bit before returning it (I had borrowed it from a friend), after quitting alttp. And I still liked it! Then I bought TotK and at the beginning I was extremely surprised, it looked so great. I thought Rauru was the same first sage from OoT and he had a "goat disguise" to not be recognized, like his owl form. Of course I was wrong and then I was so disappointed, i left it almost one year ago and don't have any urge to play it again, I probably will though and give it another chance because something was really good like seeing grown up characters or finding those "Zeldas" or building things or finding amiibo costumes. - the story is great for a standalone game, but for zelda? The zonai make no sense to me and contradicted everything we knew. In the past right after sksw the gerudo weren't known, the zora and rito didn't exist, the gorons weren't on death mountain. They should have made another antagonist and not Ganondorf. Zelda's sacrifice was honestly a so great part, but the ending was awful. - the "dungeons" were copies of each other. And short and banal as heck, and the dialogues after each one were always the same. - People didn't remember Link. Only some of the major characters did but the majority of the npcs didn't know him. And Link didn't have the majority of his clothes. I know the outfits weren't mandatory to get in botw (nothing was mandatory tho) but at least the most known could have been left. The gerudo outfit, the climber set, the hylian set, the luminous stone set! They made up a story for the zora tunic and that's a good thing. - The depths were empty and too dark, even after the light roots were lighted. It was too easy to get lost. - the ultrahand and fuse mechanics are amazing as well as the ascend, but they should have made them mandatory at least for some parts of the game, to give them more spotlight. - I would have loved to have way more sksw references, this isn't a flaw of course but a personal preference! Also I would have loved to have Wolf Link as an ally again, instead of the spirits of the sages. - personal experience: the game crashed after I defeated Ganondorf for the last time. I was about to see the final cutscene when the screen went black and it never played (I saw it on youtube). Everything else on the swotch worked perfectly so it was just the game. Of course it doesn't autosave or let people save the game after entering the zone before the first fight with Ganondorf so I'm back there. I hated it.

[cyraptor]

My Tears of the Kingdom Review

Hello, I guess this is a followup to my “Top 20 Zeldas of 2021” list from last year, since I just beat the new Zelda game, Tears of the Kingdom, and now I need to find out where it fits in the rankings. I think this is going to end up being more of a proper review than anything I wrote in that list, though, because I have… well, a lot to say about it. I’ll try not to spoil anything major, but if you want to go in completely blind you may not want to read this.

Before getting into the review itself, let me preface this review by making two statements:

Firstly, I think I played this under the worst circumstances possible. In mid-April I decided to replay Skyward Sword since even though I played it when the remaster came out, I never put it into ~the document~ (long story don’t ask). Still enjoyed it, and had a hankering for more Zelda, so I decided to restart Breath of the Wild, which I got maybe halfway through a couple years ago but never finished. When I started doing this I didn’t actually realize that Tears of the Kingdom was releasing so soon, and I ended up finishing BOTW just a few days before TOTK released. Why this is a problem will become evident throughout this article, but basically, it’s just way too much video games.

Secondly, a sequel to Breath of the Wild, just, like, wasn’t the new Zelda game I wanted. I liked BOTW quite a bit but I thought its formula was just too large-scale and unfocused to act as a template for every future Zelda game. Using its more successful elements as a springboard for a slightly more structured, story-driven, somewhat traditional Zelda game would have been ideal for me. BOTW’s almost entirely freeform nature was cool once but I don’t think it needed to happen again. I’ll try not to hold that against TOTK though.

So let me start this review by just coming right out and saying that this is unequivocally, objectively a better game than BOTW. With one exception, every single element from BOTW has been expanded upon and/or improved in some way. Referring back to my Top 20 list, let’s address my criticisms of BOTW one by one and how TOTK fares in comparison:

1) Weapon degradation and weapon variety. These are both still in the game. There’s still a sort of unnecessarily huge amount of different weapon types (and there’s arguably double the amount since “decayed” and “pristine” variants exist for most of them). However both of these are rendered a little less annoying by the new “Fuse” ability, which allows (read: basically forces) you to fuse a weapon or shield with a monster horn, rock or basically any other item in order to increase its attack power or imbue it with a special ability (e.g., attaching a mushroom to a weapon will cause enemies to bounce off it, attaching a piece of ore will cause it to fire magic spells, etc.). I never quite got a full grasp on how the system works, but I think the weapon half of the fusion just informs how the fused weapon is wielded, i.e. as a one-handed sword (quick swing), two-handed sword (heavy swing), or spear (thrust). And then the fused item determines what type of damage it inflicts (slashing or blunt, basically), I think? So for instance, fusing a spear with a blunt object like a Frox tooth results in a “pulverizer”, which is wielded like a thrusting spear but is good for breaking rocks or armor but not so much in inflicting damage to enemies. Anyway, all this is to say that since you’ll inevitably have a ton of monster parts on hand to fuse, you have way more flexibility in the sort of weapons you can have in your inventory at any one time. This also gives monster parts more versatility than just using them to craft potions as in BOTW. I dunno who was crafting hundreds of elixirs with their stockpile of hundreds of Bokoblin horns in BOTW but it wasn’t me. Oh also you can attach the same sort of shit to arrows as well, which gives them the usual bomb/fire/lightning/ice ability but also you can like, stick a Keese wing onto one to make it fly farther. It’s cool in theory but you also have to pull up the quick menu every single time you fire an arrow, which becomes extremely obnoxious when fighting an enemy that requires tons of arrows. No spoilers but if you’ve played the game you know which one I’m talking about.

2) The cooking system. This is basically the same as it was in BOTW with a few extra recipes. This didn’t really bother me in my BOTW replay after I looked into how the cooking system works a little more. It just wasn’t explained very well in-game in BOTW. And TOTK just assumes you played BOTW and explains virtually nothing about any system present in its predecessor. TOTK adds a nice recipe book that keeps track of what meals you’ve made (or received) and how to make them, though, which is a huge improvement.

3) Enemy variety. Another huge improvement on this front. There’s easily twice the number of enemy types as the previous game. Additions include Boss Bokoblins which are big pig guys who command small armies of Bokoblins and look like what Moblins should have looked like in the last game, there’s flying enemies, there’s returning classic Zelda enemies like Gibdos (with a weird new twist) and Like Likes, there’s new mini-bosses like Frox (which took me almost the entire game to figure out how to fight effectively, but that’s on me) and Flux Constructs, and there’s actual proper boss monsters instead of fuckin Blight Ganon variants. Combat is basically the same aside from the fact that some new enemies require new strategies. I feel like silver enemies showed up way earlier in my playthrough than they did in BOTW. Like a sixth of the way through. And once they do, one silver enemy shows up in every camp and they’re just an utter bore to fight. Even with a reasonably high-powered weapon you’ve still got to whale on them for like 20 seconds while they lie helplessly on the floor. Not challenging, just annoying. Besides that though and the one mini-boss type I refuse to name for spoiler reasons, the monster situation is an improvement.

4) Lack of dungeons. This one’s kind of a wash-leaning-slight-improvement to me. Replacing the Divine Beasts from the first game are… kinda sorta actual dungeons! They’re much more sprawling than the Beasts, although they have a similar completion pattern in that you’re essentially just told to activate five consoles scattered throughout the temple and you can do them in any order and in any way you like. Three of the four main temples are basically open-air and you have a lot of creativity in how you’re able to progress through them, to the point where I felt I was cheating or breaking the game in a couple cases (Fire Temple I’m looking at you), which didn’t actually feel good to me because I feel like the reason I had to do that in those cases is because the “intentional” solution was not obvious! And then the Lightning Temple was inside a building and felt a little bit more like a regular Zelda dungeon, which I preferred. But I also kind of missed the unique mechanisms of each of the Divine Beasts. But also the temples are much less samey. Like I said, kind of a wash, but I didn’t HATE the Divine Beasts to begin with, so it’s fine.

5) I didn’t mention this in my Top 20 list, but it was something I noticed about BOTW on replay. The side quests suck. BOTW has 76 side quests which sounds like a lot but most of them are just “bring me six bear asses, which you almost certainly will have already accrued ten times the amount of by the time you reach me so you can just close out the quest immediately after receiving it,, and i’ll give you a reward of 100 Rupees, which is a pittance in this game”. TOTK has almost 3 times as many side quests (some of which have been upgraded to side ADVENTURES - an in-game distinction I was never really clear on), most are much more involved and more fun, and make the world between the story-related bits feel way more alive and fleshed out. Another huge improvement.

The one thing I think is a downgrade from BOTW is the new sage abilities vs. the old champion abilities. These are the companion-based abilities you get for clearing each of the four main story branches. In BOTW, each had a cooldown of several minutes, but were extremely useful. Mipha’s Grace revived you with full health if you died (useful for casual exploring, but not too overpowered to be useful in brute forcing combat), Revali’s Gale boosted you like 100 feet straight up (essential when exploring), Urbosa’s Fury was a lightning AOE attack basically mandatory for fighting Lynels, and Daruk’s Protection let you take a free hit once in a while. In TOTK, the abilities themselves are a huge downgrade. Sidon’s water shield I never quite figured out outside of the boss battle designed around it. Tulin’s just give you a horizontal boost when gliding (and I guess maybe can blow away monsters in combat, but usually isn’t useful for that). Riju’s is kind of like Urbosa’s in that there’s a lightning AOE but it’s way weaker and you have to waste an arrow to trigger it. Yunobo’s is maybe the one ability that’s an upgrade over his predecessor as you can fire him off like a cannonball and break through huge piles of rocks and shit. There’s also a fifth ability that I won’t mention because it’s kind of spoilery but also because describing it would make it sound cooler than it actually is. The main problem with the new abilities is how they’re activated. Basically after you complete one of the main quest branches, the sage will from that point on fight alongside you as a spirit, using their signature weapons. This is kind of cool and useful although having four or five ghost dudes running alongside you takes away from the feeling of isolation a little bit, but no biggie. But in order to activate a sage’s ability, you have to run up to them and press the use button to queue it, and then press it a second time to actually activate it. The reason this is bad is because in combat, the time when you most often want to make use of these abilities, the sage spirits are fuckin running around and attacking, and you have to go find them. And they’re all the same color so you have to, like, take a second to pick out which is the one you want to use. It’s particularly egregious with Riju, who fights with melee weapons but whose ability is ranged, so you have to run up into the mass of monsters where she’ll be fighting to set up her ability, then retreat to actually use it. The BOTW champion abilities could be used anywhere with a single button press. What the fuck!

So aside from the last bit, that’s big improvements all across the board. And as I already said, TOTK’s just overall an objectively better game than Breath of the Wild. So what’s the problem?

The problem is that a better version of BOTW is practically ALL THIS GAME IS. And at the risk of making assumptions, that seems to be all that it ASPIRES TO BE. A lot of people have dismissed Tears of the Kingdom as being “BOTW DLC” and while that’s an utterly laughable notion from, like, a scale standpoint - this game has easily twice the amount of content of BOTW - when, looking at, like, the TYPE of new content, I don’t think it’s that far off the mark.

So, so much of this game is “here’s all the stuff from BOTW again, just in a different form”. You need to activate a dozen or so towers to unveil the entirety of the map. There’s a gated tutorial area where you get all your Zonai powers, which are conceptually the same thing as BOTW’s Sheikah runes. There’s 120 shrines in which you have to solve puzzles using said powers. There’s four story paths to complete involving the four major races culminating in a dungeon in which you receive a power from a warrior from one of said races, and after these four branches are complete you can face the main antagonist in and/or above and/or below Hyrule Castle. There’s 12 collectibles scattered around the world from which Link can obtain a memory of a past event (TOTK has more interesting memories but the way to obtain them is more boring. P.S. fun fact you can spoil yourself to the game’s major twist almost immediately at the start if you go after all the very-easy-to-obtain Dragon Tears first like I did). And so on. And like, the stuff IS technically new and different, but it’s new and different in the way that Jakku is new and different from Tatooine. Which is to say, not that much.

What seems to be one of the game’s biggest points of praise is the Ultrahand/Zonai Device system, which allows you to build structures and vehicles by adhering different mechanical parts together. This is kind of fun and the physics system is surprisingly robust, but outside of requiring it to solve some of the shrines it’s not too integral a system to the game. Also most other devices become pointless once you realize you can cheaply build a hoverbike out of two fans and a control stick and fly goddamn wherever you want in the whole map (100% necessary to do in the Depths to remain sane imo… more on that in a moment). It’s fun, you can do silly things, but I kind of got that itch out of my system when I played Garry’s Mod 18 years ago. I’m glad people are having fun with it, though, and I guess I’m even more glad they’re able to.

A criticism that sounds like a huge strike against the game but surprisingly isn’t is the fact that the entirety of the Hyrule map is reused from BOTW. A lot of areas have undergone changes as a result of the catastrophic event that begins the game, but for the most part the differences aren’t massive. I’ve compared it to pre- and post-Cataclysm World of Warcraft a few times now but I don’t think anybody I know understands the reference, but it’s a perfect one, so y’all’s loss I guess. One major change in the overworld is the addition of caves - they did a really good job keeping them feeling fresh and distinct from one another and they further cement the fact that Hyrule was constructed by hand by the developers instead of just being generated from a heightmap like so many other open world games. It’s one of those things that’s like, I can’t believe this wasn’t in the first game, it fits in so seamlessly.

If Hyrule was the only map in the game, I think the asset reuse would be a whole lot less defensible, but it’s not. There’s two other levels to the map, the first of which is the Sky, which consists of a bunch of floating islands hanging motionless over Hyrule in a very Skyward Sword-like manner. The largest of these islands by far is the starting area, which is roughly the same size and function as the Great Plateau from BOTW. The islands are otherwise pretty small and sparse. You can get to some using the towers (which launch you like a mile into the air), but some of the more remote ones require you to use the time-reverse ability on pieces of debris that fall from the sky (or if you’re like me and don’t realize this is the intended way until near the end of the game, build a flying bicycle). It’s very pretty up there, with some lovely autumnal foliage and perpetually sunny weather, and you can see the entire map of Hyrule beneath you, which is pretty impressive. There’s a surprising amount of asset reuse among what few islands there are in the Sky, but there’s enough unique content that it again doesn’t bother me that much. It’s the one thing that feels like something truly new for this game, even if it is cribbed from another Zelda. I don’t mind it… it’s nice up there.

What is not nice is the third map, the Depths. The Depths is a massive underground cave that is below Hyrule. It’s huge; the same size as the Hyrule map. In fact, it IS the Hyrule map, for the most part, with the heights inverted (canyons become high ridges and mountains become deep valleys) and anywhere there’s a body of water in Hyrule, it’s represented with a solid wall instead in the Depths. To be clear, I’m almost certain this is meant to be obvious, not, like, some sort of lazy trick. But the entire Depths does feel unbelievably low effort. When you first arrive, the entirety of the Depths is completely pitch black and you have to activate “lightroots” (of which there are 120, located in the same places as the shrines in the overworld) to light the surrounding area and clear the fog of war on the map screen. However, even when the Depths are fully lit, it’s all a dark, gross monochrome turquoise color. The whole thing is riddled with tons of identical copy-pasted spooky trees and roots and rock formations and every single part of it looks the same except for the area under Eldin, which looks the same but also has some lava. Roughly 50% of the floor throughout the entirety of the Depths is covered in “gloom”, which is identical to but distinct from the “malice” from BOTW, which semi-permanently reduces your heart meter if you stand on it too long. Getting around it is a fucking nightmare due to its size and the complete lack of consideration in making it traversible like the overworld. And aside from a Yiga Clan-related questline (which contains the majorly useful Autobuild ability despite being completely optional) and two of the temples, there’s not a whole lot down there besides - get this - all the DLC exclusive and amiibo-activated armor and weapons from the first game (and that reminds me, since I haven’t had a place to mention it elsewhere, there’s only like half a dozen new armor sets in the game, everything else is from BOTW). The other purpose of the Depths is just to be a harvesting area for Zonaite and by proxy Zonai Charges and Crystalized Charges, which act as fuel for Autobuild and for increasing your Zonai Device battery meter (which is all rather poorly explained in game btw). And grinding for that critical shit in this hellhole is misery. God, I hate the Depths. One of my least favorite areas in a game, ever. If you only go down there to fulfill questlines and not to get all the collectibles like I did, though, I guess it might be tolerable. Trying to be at least a little charitable here.

One last thing, and it’s about the story - I won’t be discussing the plot, so no spoilers. BOTW set a weird precedent in that the game itself didn’t really have too much of a story outside of the four Divine Beast quests. All of that game’s “story” happened in the past, and is presented in flashbacks and memories. You wouldn’t think they could (or should) do the same thing in TOTK, but they somehow manage to, which is kind of impressive. The story is more engaging and interesting than BOTW’s imo, and it has some interesting Zelda timeline implications. I don’t really give a shit about the idea of all the Zelda games belonging to a cohesive timeline

I closed out my BOTW review in the Top 20 list by calling it innovative and describing it as Nintendo taking “uncharacteristically huge risks”, and I stand by that. In comparison, Tears of the Kingdom feels like the complete opposite. It’s safe. It does all the same shit again - granted the shit is at least GOOD shit - with very little that’s truly, truly new. I think anyone who disagrees with this is deluding themselves. It’s shockingly un-Nintendo-like. There are a few exceptions (looking at you New Super Mario Bros. U), but Nintendo rarely goes back to the well to quite this degree. The closest thing the Zelda series has had to this is Majora’s Mask reusing most of Ocarina of Time’s assets - but they were used to build a completely new world and narrative. I guess there’s also, like, Super Mario Galaxy 1 and 2, but it’s not as if SMG2 reused half the levels from SMG1 with new stars in them, you know? Also both of those examples came out only two or three years after their predecessors! It’s, frankly, hard to see why this game took six years to come out. This doesn’t feel at all like six years of new work. I mean, I guess games take longer to develop now, and I’m anti-crunch and all that, so if that’s how long it took to make this game, that’s how long it took, but… I just don’t feel it’s really reflected in a final product built so heavily off its predecessor, especially when BOTW itself only took I think 3 or 4 from scratch. I kinda just wish those 6 years were used to develop something more, well, innovative. It almost feels like a replacement for TOTK than even a sequel. If you haven’t played BOTW, there’s almost no reason to now, just watch an hour-long “Breath of the Wild - The Movie” cutscene compilation on YouTube.

Having said all that - and holy shit that’s a lot more “all that” than I expected to say - I did enjoy my time with Tears of the Kingdom quite a bit, and probably would have even more if I hadn’t played BOTW start to finish in the weeks preceding it. I’m sure it’s more of a pleasant homecoming than an overstayed welcome to fans who played it years ago and have been hankering for more of the thing they loved. I don’t regret playing it or anything, and I had a lot of fun with it aside from the godforsaken Depths. Maybe just don’t play both games back to back.

Anyway let’s circle back to that Top 20 list and find a place for Tears of the Kingdom. In a world where BOTW didn’t exist, I think it takes its place at #4, and maybe even overtakes Wind Waker at #3. Yeah, for all my negativity, it’s still undeniably that good. But I don’t know what to do on a list with both BOTW and TOTK on it. TOTK is the better game, but does it lose points for lack of originality? Does it take a higher place and BOTW gets knocked down? I don’t know. Who gives a shit. I just wanted to spend 4 hours ranting about a game I sunk like 200+ hours of my life into. No more Zelda, no more open world games, no more video games, it’s time to join the farming commune.

[nardonotes]

7 nov '24

6:45am

this is basically an entry for the 6th because damn... I CANT EVEN RMBR WHAT I DID!!! but i didn't sleep until 5pm (after class!) cause i was awake the night before like.... my sleep is so fucked (っ- ‸ - ς).. i ended up cancelling on the guy and the photoshoot and rainchecked for friday instead because i was too fucking tired like actually i was so wrecked.. and i just didn't feel like it either. i had too much to worry about and i had a long day of class (WHICH I WENT TO! ALL OF MY CLASSES TOO!!)

anyways,, i woke up at 1am because oomf called me :D and then we called for till now lol, it's actually 8am now,, i wrote the first half before i got distracted lol..

anyways,, i ate after i played APEX WHICH LEMME RANT REAL QUICK ABOUT!!1 ( ｡ •̀ ᴖ •́ ｡) so season 23 of apex rn is literally OG APEX. THEY BROUGHT BACK EVERYTHING FROM LIKE THE BEGINNING OF APEX BC THE GAME IS DYING!!!! and it's fun and forces me to play battle royale bc THERE'S LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE TO PLAY BUT BR OR RANKED. THEY GOT RID OF ALL THE MODES. AND I CAN'T EVEN PLAY FUSE BECAUSE THERE'S ONLY A FEW LEGENDS U CAN PLAY.. sickening.... but anyways. it's still fun i guess... i just hope throughout the season,, they add more things. or im literally gna barely play this season and this will be apex's last chance... (╥‸╥)

i have class at 11am today, im gna go and then imma go to the post office and then HEAD HOME!!!!!!! and sleep. :DD good morning !! type to ya later :33

song of the day: Replay by SHINee (´▽`)

[tailsisfluffy]

So I am playing Persona 4 Golden for the first time. Keep in mind that the only other Persona game I have played is Royal. Right now I just finished the first dungeon.

A few thoughts and encounters:

-Yosuke is actually pretty smart. Thought he was going to be the unintelligent comic relief righthand guy that flirts with girls stereotype. And he felt like he started off that way. Granted, I was going to love anyways because I tend to love the best friend, i.e. Ryuji. But as soon as he became my partner, he just sobered up? Real detective vibes? Taking charge instead of charging for the most part? My dude, I wanted him to be the leader when he asked but of course that NO button is a lie.

-I need one of those volume UI that lets you control the volume of each specific person because Chie really needs to be turned down. Like, she is even louder than the music, and this music is loud. She's like a commercial between shows, volume twice as high.

-What the fuck are these teachers?

-Why, Why, do you show me more club doors and I only get to join two? I mean, I was a band kid in highschool, but I would have loved to join the Home EC club.

-Speaking of Home EC, Nanako over here making breakfast and warming up dinner. I thought she was like 12 but wiki says she's 6-7. What?

-Oh. I see the 6-7 now. She won't stop with the Junes. Please stop.

-So do all the Persona mascots have a crush on a human team member? Teddie over here not knowing about the romantic stuff until it suddenly struck him. He literally meets Yukiko once and suddenly knew everything on that.

-It was probably the wine, but I spent five minutes laughing at that lady in the store. It wasn't because she resembled a Ghibli character. It wasn't the eyes. It was those tiny ass glasses that she had on the tip of her nose. How is she seeing? Even if they are for decoration they make no sense. What!

-This dude really selling weapons under the "art" label, huh?

-Lady, I do not know what the "Sub-menu button" is. Why do I keep running into you? I know who you are but I can't stop."

-"I won't let you go out this late" Well, screw you. That first night I got that notification that I could sneak out, all I did was stand right outside the front door to prove I can. Nanako over here being a real one not saying anything. That's what you get for not being home, Dojima. Your charges are partners in crime now.

-Tiny Glasses lady is doing Ghibli things. She's a witch. No other explanation.

-Y-you're telling me that the only way to get anything is by the Shuffle? Which is only activated when you do an All Out Attack. Which you have to kill the Shadow during said Attack? 😭😤😞 I miss Royal mechanics already.

-*Sobbing and raging at just the first dungeon because I only have 3 Personas because I can't fuse anything because I can't activate enough shuffles.*

Well, I guess this was more than a few. 😅 Let's see how the game progresses.

-It feels like ranking up attributes is taking forever. I'm still at level 1 in all of them.

-The concept of time is really screwed here. "Did you see her interview from a few days ago-?" You mean last night? Teddie moaning about being left alone and I'm like "Dude, it's barely been two weeks and you've been in this realm your whole life by yourself. Even Yosuke called him out on that. Stop trying to guilt trip us.

[ezdotjpg]

I'm sorry there's figurines in minish cap? Literally dug out my cartridge like 2 months ago and been very slowly playing and I never knew.

Pls. Does Bonus Mini actually collect them. Do u have any other bonus mini facts related to in-game things that may not be well known?

yeah!! that’s what the mysterious shells are for! there’s a tree on the west side of castle town (across the river) that is actually the entrance, I think u have to run at it with the pegasus boots?

but yes, he does collect them! I don’t have much interest in them in my play through tbh, but I feel like he would be in an absolute frenzy to get them all. he just thinks they’re neat. he just sits at the counter and pulls the lever to draw over and over again with such single minded focus Carlov is like,,,,,r u ok kid

as for other secret-ish stuff, hmm,,, spoilers ahead for mc I guess lol? Anyway I think there’s like 6 or 7 blade masters besides Swiftblade scattered around hyrule that you can get tiger scrolls from? Mini has them all. I think I ranked him low on the power list of the bonus links but he’s actually kind of a terrifying little swordsman lol and very well trained

after you defeat vaati and reload, if you’ve completed the goron quest you can feed the Biggoron at veiled falls ur shield and he’ll spit the mirror shield back out at you. So Mini has that lol he’s bros with all the gorons too. Sometimes he’ll just go up to veiled falls to hang out with the Biggoron and bring him metal shields and stuff to taste lol

idk if this isn’t well known but u can fuse kinstones with Tingle and his various siblings in order to eventually get the magic boomerang. I’m pretty sure his siblings complain abt him too if I recall correctly? He knows so much abt the Tingle family drama and he wishes he didn’t

last one, you can get the light arrows by saving an ill old man in the cloud tops. I actually totally missed this on my playthrough, by the time I saw something abt it it was too late to do it. If you reach the cloud tops naturally without fusing kinstones with a wind tribe member in castle town to get there early, the man has already died and there’s no way to get them. I actually haven’t decided if Mini gets them or not,,,,I think if he wasn’t able to help that man he would feel guilty about it forever

[mysterious-prophetess]

Review: The Batman

So, I FINALLY watched The Batman (2022) starring Robert Pattinson, Zoey Kravitz, Andy Serkis, and others whose names I really don’t remember. I think the guy who was Beetee in Hunger Games was Gordon?

Anyway. First I’ll give my spoiler free review.

Then I’ll go into more spoilery bits.

So. Spoiler Free: It was fine. Not groundbreaking but not trying too hard either like I feared it would. I mean, parts could be EXTRA but it’s a Batman movie; that is to be expected.

No one gave a bad performance, which was great. I was surprised at how much I liked Andy Serkis’s interpretation of Alfred. He should get more roles like that. He’s good at them.

I was also impressed by the Battinson. Keaton’s still my #1 Live Action Bat, but Battinson ranks above Batfleck in my books. I also prefer his Batman voice to Bale and Afleck’s by a MILE.

There are still some issues I have with it but, like I said, it was fine.

I’m about to head to the spoilers now, so don’t click if you don’t want spoiled for a movie’s that’s been out on bluray for a bit.

Final conclusion: Rent or Buy? Since I already bought it, I’d have to say Buy but if Batman’s not a hero you care much for, then just rent this. Now be warned, because not only are spoilers ahead but so are personal opinions. You’re free to disagree, but keep in mind this is what I think.

So, parts in particular I wanted to give this movie credit:

Not flashing back to the murder of Thomas and Martha Wayne. Every other movie that introduces Batman seems to need to show the Wayne murders but this one didn’t and I applaud it for it.

Instead, it kept things in a small window of time and used video as the way of looking into the past instead of flashbacks.

That’s another thing I have to applaud it for: keeping the timeline compressed and consistent. They had a story they wanted to tell and a case they wanted to set up.

Though, here is my biggest gripe: They sort of fused Riddler with Hush. The mask reminded me far more of Hush than it did the Riddler. The reporter murdered by that mob boss had the last name “Elliot.”

Hush’s real identity was Thomas “Tommy” Elliot.

I know Hush and Riddler worked together in the comics, but here they just mushed them into one and it made for an unpleasant combination.The actor did what he could here but overall, I didn’t like this Hushiddler the writers created for this film, period.

They also had the cops make some rookie mistakes at times. With Hushiddler’s base found, shouldn’t the cops have torn up everything looking for evidence? Meaning, shouldn’t the carpet have been rolled up to make sure there wasn’t evidence there or checking for blood stains?

This is a second year Batman, so I’ll excuse him not being as quick on the uptake as he could be.

ALSO: Hushiddler’s targeting of Bruce makes no sense.

Bruce was EIGHT when his dad died. He’d have been in no position to do anything to help the orphans Hushiddler grew up with until he was older and it’s shown he isn’t in a good headspace just yet.

Though, gotta wonder why Alfred didn’t continue doing good works in the name of Thomas Wayne....

I saw the “Falcone is Selina’s dad thing” coming the moment after they interacted.

While Kravitz did well with her performance, there were times I wondered what the writers were thinking with her arc.

Side Tangent: I also HATED the scoring. Did the composer not have access to more than two notes at a time or Ave Maria? It grew annoying to hear that “da-dada-dum-da” very damn fast and hearing Ave Maria in major and minor over and over also began to piss me off. Also, it felt like the “Imperial March” should have started playing over that two note repetition after a while.

And did they have to have the actor sing OFF KEY? Some of us have perfect pitch and that HURTS to hear.

I’m a semi-professional musician, I have opinions on music, ok?

Ok, side tangent over.

There were decisions made with the plotting that did remind me more of the comics than most Batman films—the rampant corruption of the government for example—and something about the plot overall seemed like it could have been an arc from the comics.

The chase scene with Penguin: Extra, so so Extra.

The fact that the Hushiddler had a sorta parasocial relationship with The Batman was an interesting angle but, I still really don’t care much for Hushiddler overall. The moment his neighbor started talking, I was like “...The Joker?”

Then there was a glimpse of a messed up face that looked like it was a perma grin and the laugh clinched it. That actor nailed the laugh.

So, if WB isn’t ashes, will The Batman 2 follow The Dark Knight’s footsteps and have the Joker headline the second movie as the main antagonist?

Well, who knows!

Either way, it was a very solid Batman film and, for the most part, I was able to follow along with the plot and I’ve managed to (somehow) avoid all spoilers for the last five months.

I do not regret buying this film, and also don’t regret not watching it in theaters.

[nsf-kings-canyon]

The Good People Of Apex

Alright so, a few nights ago I ran into two randoms (I solo queue a lot). Both of them spent the full twenty minutes of the game being horrible human beings. 

TW for this paragraph!!! Skip to the next if needed! They made fun of the trans suicide rate, sex trafficking, lgbtq, and made racist comments. They said stuff like “gay people are rapists” and shit like that. I could have a huge post about everything they said but I’d rather not relive it.

Anyways. It got me thinking. I solo queue mostly because I’m shy. I’m shy about finding new people, I dont like using my mic with people I don’t know, etc. 

But I know there are others out there that feel the same way. So I created a server for the good half of the fandom.

All are welcome! All playstyles, all ranks, all genders, all nationalities, all ages! If you want to just lurk to see the art/fanfiction shared then that is totally find too! If you don’t play apex but want to socialise we got you! If you want to share your game screenshots/find people to play another game there is a section for that as well! Too shy to use your mic? Find someone who doesn’t need/want to use theirs!

Apex club founders and members will get their tags based on their club!! Please message me on discord for an invite for you, your friends, and club members!!!

My Discord: Crypto Is Head Over Heels 4 Fuse#3244

[my-makeshift-masquerade]

Do Gregory and Becca get to play a few levels of Help Wanted? How do they do?

Oh no, they’d have to wouldn’t they?

Gregory’s a hardcore gamer, and you cannot convince me otherwise. He loves action and horror games the most, always hungry for a challenge. He kinda treats being lost in the pizzaplex like it’s a big video game, actually. His singleminded focus on getting upgrades an jumping into danger shows us just what kind of gamer he is.

Becca likes activities that let her use her smarts and creativity at her own pace. She prefers more relaxed puzzle and sandbox games as a result. Poor girl also has many sensory sensitivities, so games with unexpected loud noises or flashing lights are a big no no for her. Timers give her really bad anxiety, as well.

Gregory, despite being a big fan of Freddy’s, believes the scary stories are all fictitious, just like most people in this universe. The way I see him, he’s a young FNAF fanboy who watches all the big youtubers. It explains why he decided to squat at the plex. He is not aware of the truth behind everything going on beneath the Fazbear brand yet.

Becca just moved to the area, and knows little about Fazbear Entertainment. All she really knows is what she’s heard, which is probably incorrect information anyway. Her parents hoped other kids would want to come to their daughter’s party if they had it in a local popular location like the pizzaplex, even if it wasn’t very accommodating to her disability.

Assuming Into The Breach takes place around the early to mid 2020’s, they are definitely making meme references left and right. They’re only children, after all. They’re inclined to joke around, if only to lighten the tension and distract themselves from the existential dread surrounding what’s happening to them.

Glitchtrap flings them both into the FNAF 2 level, just to see how well they’d work together as a team before they are fused with the spirits of CC/Elizabeth. Gregory finds the Freddy mask, and lets Becca listen to the tutorial phone call like a total noob. He immediately starts cracking Among Us jokes, and the two terrified kiddos start dying of laughter.

“W-watch out, Gregory… T-that blue Bonnie is in the right vent—!” “WHAT?! BONNIE’S BEING SUS!” “Pfft… K-keep your voice down, before they all—!” “Oh please, I have the Freddy mask! Just duck under the desk! I got thi—AHHHHH!” “I-I think we lost…?” “N-No fair! It was totally camping! I vote the gay looking Bonnie be ejected from the ship!!!” “Uh…W-what’s gay…?” “THAT STUPID BONNIE!”

Glitch looking very confused and turning to Vanny like “What the bloody hell are they even talking about right now? Why does that twelve year old boy know what the word gay means? Have kids gotten even worse over future generations? Dear lord… and I thought Micheal was as bad as it could get…”

He has them play individually next. Gregory manages to beat the third night of FNAF 1 by himself after a few attempts. Becca plays Freddy’s parts and service, but she is taking forever. Eventually, the yellow rabbit gets impatient and checks on her. He finds her hopping on her tip toes because she can’t reach. He has to excuse himself to laugh before getting her a chair.

Both kids find Foxy’s Pirate Ride in the Halloween DLC and it is by far their favorite level out of all of the others. If Vanny’s looking for them, they’re probably trying to get the captain rank for the millionth time in a row.

[megashadowdragon]

fgo theory is caster cu really odin 

comments : 

There is also the 10 bond CE for him being the Yggdrasil Tree, which is very Norse. (the fact he needs a bunch of Yggdrasil seeds may also be a bit of a hint.) Interestingly, the Wickerman festivals were held throughout Europe (Areas such as England and Scotland) and were regarded as a neo-pagan festivity. Chances are, if CasCu really is Odin, it is highly likely he will take action in the English Lostbelt second part. I think itd be really cool, but if that was the case itd be more likely Cu caster was a Cu-Odin fusion similar to Scathach-Skadi. We know its within Odin's ability to do a fusion like this due to how he did the same for Skadi. It also explains how caster cu retains the protection from arrows and disengage skills. It also makes more sense how he's kept his identity a secret, because it's not false that he is Cu.

www . reddit . com/r/grandorder/comments/lkw9xm/summary_of_the_caster_cu_chulainnodin_theory/

At absolutely no point does he ever give his name or makes any mention to it.

Other Servants who initially don't give their names say that they'll give it to you later. Caster does not even bring up the subject.

In the Garden of Sinners crossover event, he says "there's no Cú Chulainn here". It's treated as a gag, but...

In the Singularity F Memorial Quest, he's the only Servant referred to by his Class name instead of his True name.

In Lostbelt 6 he finally introduces himself... as Grimnir. This is an alias that Odin uses in the Grímnismál.

He's not supposed to be the Caster of the Fuyuki Grail War in the first place. In the original reality, it's Medea, while in FGO reality it's Solomon. Material states that Singularity F is the result of data colliding, and Caster resulted from that. However, in that case it should be either Solomon or Medea who appear in Singularity F, not Cú Chulainn.

One of his lines goes as following: "Isn't bit boring to play a game that never ends? For better or for worse, it's like you can't move the pieces forward, yeah?" Is he talking about Singularity F? At any rate, this sounds weird.

His Final Ascension art and animation update features two white wolves. Odin is stated to have two wolves named Geri and Freki.

His second Noble Phantasm, which he mentions in one of his My Room lines, is called "Ochd Deug Odin - Seal of the Great God". It's an exceedingly powerful Rank A Anti-Fortress Noble Phantasm with potentially Game Breaking effects, but what's interesting is its description: it activates by chanting its True Name and using all 18 primordial runes granted by Scáthach at once (keep in mind she taught him the Norse ones) and it "temporarily unleashes the power of the rune possessed by the Great Odin". Aside from the weirdness of him even having that Noble Phantasm in the first place (he's not supposed to have Wickerman either, but at least we get an explanation for that), why can't he use it? (Potential Game-Breaker status not withstanding).

In the North America version of the game, his Bond Craft Essense is called "Yggdrasil Tree". That's taken from Norse Mythology, so why would a Celt have it?

In addition, the Yggdrasil tree has a particularly strong tie to Odin. The Ygg bit is another name for him, and according to legend at some point he hanged himself from one of its branches to gain wisdom.

For some reason, he's in the Nordic Fields during Boudica's 3rd Strengthening Quest.

During Valentine's Day in the return gift scene, he talks about the Human Order Incineration and the Human Order Reorganization - a.k.a. the Lostbelts. Somehow he knew about the Lostbelts before the game even got to that point.

In the 2019 Valentine's event, he's seen reading the book "Scandinavia's Beautiful Mountains".

In the FGO mats, Sigurd takes special notice of him and then has a Double Take. He also seems confused about him in his material profile. The fact that Sigurd noticed Caster is odd, but it should also be noted that Sigurd encountered Odin a number of times in his legend, thus making him one of the most likely people to recognize him.

Scáthach's Interlude brings up a LOT of questions. The regular Lancer Cú Chulainn says that his power is reduced because half his Saint Graph is missing. Mash suggests that the reduction in power may be because he was separated in numerous classes, but Lancer Cú is surprised that he can be summoned as a Caster. In addition, there are several Servants summonable in numerous classes, and none of them has this problem. There's a possibility that the other half of the Saint Graph went to Caster, and he's using an external source to stabilize it.

According to the Arcade version of FGO, it's impossible for any version of Cú Chulainn to be summoned without Gáe Bolg or the skill "Martial Arts Disciplining in the Shadow Country". Yet Caster has neither, thus making him an impossible summoning.

Not very noticeable in the English version, but he occasionally slips into using the "washi" pronoun during dialogue. For those who might not know, "washi" is actually pretty formal, and contrasts Cú Chulainn's much more casual "ore".

A lot of his official art has him looking subtly different that the other versions of Cú Chulainn.

He has lighter-coloured hair in all of his artwork, and Fate/Grand Carnival gives him wrinkles under the eyes. This trait is usually used in anime to show a character around 40-50 years old; an age that Cú Chulainn never reached.

In his card art and formal outfit card, his eyes are almost orange rather than red. In addition, one eye is always at least partially hidden.

In his April Fool's card, he has different facial features than the rest of the Cú Chulainns.

Tying to the above, Odin is known for disguising himself as an older man, usually a wizard, in a hood, and he's missing an eye. Missing eye aside, Caster fits most of that criteria, and as pointed out above, most his art hides his eye anyway. Odin gave said eye in exchange for wisdom, and there are a few remarks that Caster is getting smarter.

In the original Fate/stay night, Emiya draws a connection between Gáe Bolg and Odin's spear, Gungnir. Considering that he has picked up things like Rho Aias and Caladbolg, we can probably take him at his word. In his animation update, Caster throws his staff above the enemies heads, and then it changes tragectory to attack them from behind. While this could easily be a reference to Gáe Bolg's actual method of killing in the myth (it entered the victim through the asshole), it could also be a reference to how Odin would throw Gungnir above the heads of his enemies to declare a war.

Another detail from his animation upgrade is that his Instant Runes often take the form of a Valknut; this symbol according to some scholars is associated with Odin.

There are overall several indications that Caster will play a significant role later in the story: he's featured in the trailer of Lostbelt 6 and received his animation update during the Lostbelt 6 livestream, and Word of God has implied several times that we will be returning to Singularity F at some point.

Tying to the above, in one of My Room conversations, he say's he'll teach you how to use Runes later. Maybe it's not Blatant Lies after all.

Caster and Odin share several personality traits. Both of them are known as "the raging one", are strongly tied with the concept of war, magic, and wisdom, and both of them are The Gadfly - as Caster displays in Singularity F when he tries to get Mash to activate her Noble Phantasm. In addition, in various events Caster seems to have a gambling problem, which is also one of Odin's traits. Not to mention "summon me as a Lancer" works for Odin too.

The recent Lostbelt 6 update also adds fuel to the fire. In My Room dialogues, Scáthach tells him that his Rune magic is slightly different from what she taught him. He asks Sigurd not to look at him with the glasses, when he sees Brynhildr he muses that this must be fate/karma and specifically refers to Scáthach-Skadi as "Lostbelt Skadi."

His new battle lines from the same update are just as interesting.

"Witness the essence of the Rune magecraft taught by Scáthach... Sure, let's go with that." Along with Scáthach accusing him of his Rune magic being different, this could easily imply that he didn't learn them from her.

Another line is that "he doesn't have the noose of his neck anymore". As an above point states, this Odin did this to learn his runes. The noose bit also never happened to Cú Chulainn.

One of his victory lines references "wolves and crows" and that he has "no idea what they're talking about". The crows part could be a reference to the story of Cú Chulainn's death, which features a crow sitting on his corpse, but the whole quote seems to better reference Odin and his pets; the wolves Geri and Freki, and the crows Huginn and Muninn.

Lostbelt 6 also gives his a buff to his Disengage skill. More specifically, it's actually two buffs that activate back-to-back, with the first called "At the Fountain" and the second called "Sacrifice to the World Tree". Very specific, game.

In Lostbelt 2, it is outright stated that it was Odin who fused Skadi and Scáthach together. Who says he never did it before?

[redsplash1]

Alright y’all, I was bored and wanted to ignore my hw, so I made a tier list on everyone’s lore and a quick writeup for each placement. Just an fyi this is my opinion and will most likely change as we get more story content, but right now this is where I stand (no arguing please, or at least nothing that’ll result in name calling and such)

But yeah this is something I’ll probably look back on and be like “hmm maybe I was too harsh with my rankings” but rn it’s like 2:30 in the morning so yeah

TW: mention of abuse in Octane’s section

All of it will be under the cut

S Tier

Bloodhound: Maybe I’m biased because I’m a BH main, but imo their lore is the most interesting and nuanced out of everyone’s. From their parents, to their uncle, to Boone, and now their planet, Bloodhound’s backstory, current lore, and character is fantastic and honestly peak writing from Respawn atm.

Wraith: I understand that not everyone loves the “I lost my memory and am now trying to find out who I am” trope, and maybe this is also biased because I’m a complete Wraith simp, but her lore to me is also very unique and well done. The entire Voidwalker cinematic alone is what’s basically putting her in S tier, but I also love how she is the prime definition of “Looks like they can kill you, but is actually a cinnamon roll” instead of your typical edgy girl that coldly pushes everyone away.

A Tier

Horizon: Interstellar but make it Scottish. She has really nice interactions with Mirage and Wattson, and there’s plenty of potential with where her character can go now that Ash is in the picture.

Gibraltar: While his lore isn’t as flashy like the ones in S tier, I still think it’s really good. For one, it’s consistent, and the stuff with Nik and Michael is very bittersweet. I really like how despite the tragedies in his life, like BH, that only made him more determined to do the right thing. 10/10 he’s got your back bruddahs

Mirage: Respawn’s poster boy, so it’s only natural that he gets a shitload of lore. Fortunately, it’s not shit and actually fleshes him out as a character greatly. I also really like the canon sibling relationship he has with Rampart. Now that his dad may or may not force himself into the picture soon, it’s gonna be more character development for Mirage either way.

Borderline

I’ll explain this tier real quick. Basically they’re between A and B; they have the potential to be great, but they’re being held back by a certain something.

--

Bangalore: Pathfinder’s Quest did a really good job fleshing her out, but the love triangle and inconsistent behavior towards Wraith isn’t doing her any favors. It’s a shame, because characters like Anita are really unique and not seen often. I can only hope Respawn realizes that no, love triangles are not the peak writing they think it is.

Loba: Same deal here, that love triangle and her rebounding off Valk is really not doing anything good towards her character. They’re adults, are they not capable of communicating? Like Bangalore, she’s also really unique in the sense that she’s a bisexual woman of color in a video game who is a complete girlboss and inspiration. Respawn stop fucking up your characters please!

B Tier

Revenant: He’s really badass, and his lore is fun, it’s just that the writing is making him look like a complete joke. He gets clowned on every time he’s about to do something cool and it’s honestly kinda sad. If the writing could give him a few kills to his name to actually establish that he’s a threat, I’ll put him up higher.

Octane: If this was fanon Octane, he’d be an automatic S tier. Respawn needs to flesh out his backstory some more, like most of the fanfics do. That one comic where he confronts his dad was 10/10, we just need more of that and actually tackling the effects his father’s abuse had on him. Also the potential history he has with Seer is a good opportunity to explore more of his character, so that’s a good start.

Rampart: Just recently she’s getting lore, and all of it is very good so far. The relationships she has with a lot of the legends are very strong, and the foreshadowing towards Big Sister returning is also a huge plus.

Fuse: The Maggie stuff was honestly really fucking lame (I blame the ingame comics for this), for me what’s really carrying his character rn are the Fusehound interactions. Idrc if it ends up platonic or romantic, all Ik is that there is a lot of potential in fleshing out Fuse as a character either way.

C Tier

Pathfinder: Okay I’m not gonna lie, I have conflicted feelings on Path. He got an entire book to himself dedicated to his own lore, along with a cinematic that gave a visual on what actually happened to his creators, and yet I don’t care for his lore??? Thinking about it, it’s probably because he didn’t really get any character development, he ultimately stayed the same (except that one moment where Revenant screwed with him, but he bounced back literally one chapter later). Also, it honestly looks like his story is over anyway, he just has to find his kid. At least his personality is 10/10 though

Lifeline: Y’all are probably thinking, why is Lifeline here and not Octane + vice versa, isn’t their lore basically the same? It’s because imo Octane has more potential character development atm, and Lifeline doesn’t really have any character interactions that don’t have to do with her childhood friend, so that to me is what’s separating her from Octane. Lol again if this were fanon Lifeline she’d probably be in A tier, borderline S tier.

D Tier

Valkyrie: Literally the first thing that happens to her in the lore is that she gets thrown into a love triangle. I understand that it’s in her character to be flirty and stuff, but a love triangle? Really? Ms. Kairi Imahara deserves sm better than that. Honestly the only reason she’s not in F tier is because I like her personality, along with the Northstar cinematic.

Seer: Tbh, there isn’t a lot we know about Seer. However, what we know about him so far isn’t detrimental and for me the reason he isn’t in F tier. The interactions he has so far have the potential to be explored.

E Tier

Wattson: Man. I wish she wasn’t here, but the fact that almost all her lore involves babysitting two grown men really killed her character for me. Fanon Wattson is a million times more enjoyable to me, Respawn needs to seriously consider giving her independent lore and/or branch out to other characters that aren’t Crypto and Caustic.

Crypto: Same thing, the fact that he’s strictly tied to Wattson and Caustic rn is annoying and stupid. It also doesn’t help that literally nothing about his personal lore has been addressed recently (Mila, clearing his name).

F Tier

Caustic: If he were actually established as a proper villain, he’d be way higher. But no, Respawn wants to play rock paper scissors with this guy; one second he literally wants to gas a city, the next he’s playing nice because “Wattson blackmailed him?” Lol I don’t fucking think so. I’m not saying a redemption arc for Caustic is impossible, it’s just that Respawn did a really shitty job in actually convincing people that he deserves it. And yes, even the whole deal with his mom isn’t doing it for me. Nah fuck this guy sorry y’all, he’d be way better as a villain imo

TLDR: Fanon does it better

[raffinit]

Sylvaina having a good time at the darkmoon faire? :D

I swear I’m still doing prompts I’m just awful and bad

It began as unexpectedly as the circumstances that landed them in their marriage. To wed the Lord Admiral had been a decision driven purely by politics; they needed a coalition of combined forces that had the heft and firepower to stand their ground if they wanted to even dream of breaking the ranks of the Old Gods.

She expected to barely tolerate Jaina and to be despised in return. She expected the marriage and everything it held together to shatter to pieces before the end of the week.

She had the foresight to anticipate every possible outcome of their doomed matrimony…

…all, except this.

Despite their tenuous beginnings and general dislike of one another, they functioned in a way that was far too complementary. They were the same pieces on opposite sides of the playing board — though of what game, she wasn’t entirely sure. War, certainly. They always played at war.

War was certainly a more familiar battlefield to her than marriage.

It had been a lifetime since she had last shared her bed. Since she had last taken a wife. It was not a memory she recalled often. She had mourned enough.

Jaina was not an unpleasant wife. Quick-tempered at times, severely lacking in her ability to share a bed, but not unpleasant overall. She was polite, thoughtful to a fault, and somehow inescapable. For all of their barbed arguments and cold glares, there was a pull between them.

A gravitational force that had Sylvanas drifting into Jaina’s orbit.

Sylvanas knew it was Jaina well before the study door opened. She knew when the Lord Admiral was several steps down the hall; knew from the particular cadence of footsteps against the stones and the approaching plume of arcane. 

She looked up from her reports expectantly, setting aside her quill just as the Jaina paused outside her door. Raising her voice just enough to carry, she said, “Come in, Jaina. Don’t bother knocking.”

There was a moment before the door opened, and Jaina slipped into the room quietly, looking considerably baffled. A stir of affection formed in the pit of her stomach at the sight of her wife, and she allowed herself a smile.

Jaina leaned against the door briefly, eyeing her thoughtfully. “How do you always know?”

“I am a master of stealth,” she drawled, smirking at her wife. “That, and I have ears. Long ones.” She made a show of swiveling them. “Must be your boots.”

Jaina took a moment to peer down at her boots before looking back up at Sylvanas. “Have I interrupted you?”

“Not at all. I could do with a reprieve from this riveting expense report from Gallywix.” She waved it in the air pointedly before setting it aside in disgust. “He’s claiming expenses for toothpicks, of all things.”

“Toothpicks? As an expense??”

“He claims Pandarian game has tougher meat to digest. It was too distracting to the workers; they couldn’t work productively without them.”

“Of course.” Jaina rolled her eyes and wrinkled her nose. “Always one to push his luck. I hope you’re not actually going to approve that.”

“I would sooner kiss Greymane on the mouth.”

That earned her a smile, which stirred something bewilderingly warm and soft in her belly. She banished it with a pointed clearing of her throat, arching a brow expectantly.

Jaina approached the desk slowly, twisting her hands in front of herself; fiddling with the edges of her wedding ring and the loose sleeves of her tunic. It was a nervous tic, something she did when deeply caught in her own thoughts.

Sylvanas wasn’t entirely sure when it became something worth noticing. There was a pause in Jaina’s step; a hesitation that came in the form of a bitten lip and a frown. Gently, she said, “Go on, wife. You have my ears.”

“I was just wondering if you were busy this weekend,” Jaina said.

She blinked, leaning back into her seat curiously. “The weekend?”

“We don’t have meetings planned, but I just wanted to be sure.”Jaina gave her a chiding, if fond look that came frequently in their days of marriage. “You’re always locked away in your study. If it weren’t for me, you’d be fused to that chair.”

Sheepishly, she could admit that her wife was right. It was rare for her to take days for herself. “I forget myself at times,” she conceded, pushing upright from her seat. “But you must admit, that even you have your back bent over your desk more than you should.” She wagged a finger mildly. “If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t eat. You wouldn’t sleep.”

She smiled when Jaina’s cheeks coloured, then smiled even wider at the indignant huff that followed.

“Well,” Jaina said. “Seeing that we’ve both been working so hard — I thought we might take some time and enjoy ourselves.”

Sylvanas’ brows lifted. “And how would you propose that?”

Once more, Jaina bit her lip, but now it seemed to be an attempt at hiding a smile. “The Darkmoon Faire.”

Sylvanas stared. “The Faire?”

Jaina nodded. Sylvanas could commend her for her composure, despite the bright gleam of excitement that lived behind her blue eyes. “Yes. It’s coming to town this weekend. I thought —” the colour returned to her cheeks once more. “I thought you and I could go for a bit. To unwind.”

Sylvanas frowned slightly, brows pulling together on her forehead as she stared into Jaina’s eager face. “I haven’t been to the Faire in some time,” she admitted.

“It’s one of the few times we get to see all of the races together and enjoy themselves without any expectations,” Jaina said, rocking back on her heels and clasping her hands in front of herself. 

It was such an unexpected, childlike demeanour; Sylvanas could already feel her resolve cracking.

“It’s just games and food,” Jaina continued, peering at her hopefully. “You’re always telling me to relax.”

Dubious still, Sylvanas perched herself at the edge of it as Jaina paced the length of the room idly. “My presence usually inspires a combination of emotions from both factions.” She tilted her head almost apologetically. “We wouldn’t be able to walk without there being people falling at our feet or spitting at us.”

“I could hide us,” Jaina offered, far quicker than Sylvanas expected. “I can disguise us when we go. They won’t even recognise us.”

She sighed and folded her arms. To say that it wasn’t a great temptation would be a lie; some time away in anonymity would be a pleasant escape from the bureaucracy of their lives…

There was a knowing on Jaina’s face as she stepped closer. She clasped her hands in front of her again in a begging gesture, widening her blue eyes even further. Sweetly — very painfully sweetly, she said, “Please? For me?”

Sylvanas stared at her incredulously, then scowled. “I can’t believe you’re using your doe eyes on me.”

Jaina tilted her head and pouted even harder, leaning as far as she dared into Sylvanas’ space.

Sylvanas pressed herself back against the desk and made a flustered sound in her throat. “Jaina.”

Jaina’s plush lower lip wobbled.

Sylvanas’ cool facade crumbled with it. Shoulders sagging, sighing, she nodded. “Very well, wife. We can go.”

A wide smile spread across Jaina’s lips and her eyes sparkled. “You’re a gem,” she gasped, throwing her arms around Sylvanas and squeezing tight.

A strange flutter of sensation bloomed within her chest like the proud arch of a morning glory reaching out into the warmth of dawn. Banding an arm around Jaina’s waist tentatively, Sylvanas ducked her head into her wife’s hair and tried to convince herself it was simply the most practical thing to do.

“I’ll never be able to say no to you, will I?” she sighed. “I’ve spoilt you too much already.”

“I hope not,” Jaina said, and Sylvanas’ eyes widened when she felt a pair of warm lips press against the underside of her ear. “Because I plan on asking for every ridiculous food on a stick when we get there.”

———

The Faire grounds were bustling with people from all factions. Jaunty merriments in the form of music and laughter filled the air; crowds of people carrying brightly-coloured prizes and oversized confectioneries moved in waves around the stalls. The smell of ale and deep-fried food overlaid was overlaid with the cool evening breeze, an underlying sweetness lingering.

Sylvanas paused a short distance from the entrance and took a slow, considering breath. “Are you certain this will work?” She peered at Jaina dubiously.

Jaina nodded. “Of course it will. No one will even recognise us.”There was a bright gleam of excitement in her eyes; whether from the Faire or from the thought of anonymity, Sylvanas wasn’t sure. It was likely both. “Alright. Stand back. Relax. I’ll do me first, just so you can see how it works.”

Nodding, Sylvanas took a step back, watching as the mage drew in a steadying breath. The air around them began to prickle with arcane; dense and cloying as Jaina’s hands and eyes began to glow a vibrant blue. A plume of twilight-scented smoke engulfed her for an instant, then melted away to nothing.

Sylvanas blinked and stared.

The figure before her was still Jaina — there was no denying the shade of those blue eyes —, but much had changed otherwise. There was a taper to the face now; longer and elegant. A slight feline slant of eyes that was common for blood elves.

Not to mention the ears.

Sylvanas opened her mouth then shut it abruptly.

Jaina peered at her shyly, reaching to touch hair that was now a warm auburn shade. “Is it too much?”

“You’re — unrecognisable,” Sylvanas croaked. “I — beautiful still, but —”

“Unrecognisable?” Jaina offered, chuckling to herself. “That was the point.”

Boldly, Sylvanas stepped closer, pushing back Jaina’s hood until she could see her wife’s face in the moonlight. Frowning slightly, she dared to reach up and brush her thumb against a bare, unfreckled cheek. “I think I prefer you as you were before.”

A faint brand of colour rose into Jaina’s cheeks as she pulled away softly. “It’s only temporary anyway. I’ll be myself again by the end of the night. Let’s do you now.” She reached out her glowing hands again.

Sylvanas stiffened and braced herself. The flow of Jaina’s magic was something she had long grown accustomed to; whether by proximity or whenever some of her own wounds on the battlefield needed healing. Still, it was always an experience in itself, to feel such raw power encompassing her form.

The faint scent of sea breeze and twilight tickled her nose and she wrinkled it slightly.

Jaina chuckled quietly. “There we are.” She stepped back and waved her hand again. A mirror materalised before them, hovering on nothing.

Sylvanas peered into her own reflection. Gone was her unnatural skin, her fair hair. In their place was a soft living flesh and ebony hair. She blinked and found a pair of equally dark eyes staring back at her.

Hesitantly, she reached up a hand to her own face. “Remarkable,” she mumbled, leaning in closer into the mirror.

“Is it alright?” Jaina asked, clasping her hands in front of her. “I could hide your ears if you prefer. I just thought it’d be less conspicuous for two elves to be wandering the Faire than a blood elf and a human.”

“I trust your judgement.” She turned to Jaina then and reached out a hand. “Shall we head to the Faire then, wife?”

Jaina smiled and slipped her hand into Sylvanas’. “Let’s.”

[texanredrose]

She’s A Pirate

Cannon fire exploded around them, a deep booming accompaniment to the high pitched tang and clang of crossed cutlasses and staccato notes of pistols firing. They’d played a dangerous game to get this far and the battle raging across the top decks of two ships acted as the culmination of a year spent sailing and fighting and falling love. To emerge victorious meant their wildest dreams coming true. No other option existed.

Blake’s feline ears flicked as she grit her teeth, her blade slicing through the air and the bone white plate of some monstrosity. She’d faced the royal navy, privateers, other pirates, and mercenaries but would gladly face the lot of them together rather than the otherworldly monsters that crewed the Grimm Reaper, twisted remnants of lost souls poisoned by the great goddess Salem’s touch. There seemed to be a neverending flood of them tearing free of the Reaper’s hull to storm onto the Longwang.

The Faunus twisted away from the gaping maw of another monster only to stumble and catch herself as her back fetched up against something too forgiving to be part of the ship itself. She turned, ready to strike again, and then froze. “Weiss?”

Blake felt a tightness in her chest, worry and love in equal measure making it hard to breathe for a moment. Before her stood the woman who’s stolen her heart, a noble daughter turned pirate queen, her dress soggy from rain and ripped by her own hands to allow freedom of movement, blood trickling down the unscarred side of her face and staining her left sleeve as she raised her arm. “Duck!”

Her feline ears perked as the order registered and she dropped down, the woman’s sword singing through the air and stabbing deep into the monster she’d narrowly avoided earlier. As Weiss dispatched that one, Blake saw another rear up being the woman, and she darted forward to protect her love. There they stood, back-to-back on the top deck, fending off the onslaught, and it struck the Faunus as deeply appropriate. That, in spite of the obstacles before them, the dire circumstances surrounding them, Salem’s fury descending upon them, and the armada awaiting them, Blake would choose to be nowhere else. Beside Weiss, no matter where that might be- land or sea or that world in-between life and death- would always be her place.

“Weiss!” She lifted her sword, blocking the blade of a Grimm creature, the weapon somehow fused to the bone plate of its forearm. “Weiss, I have something to tell you!”

“Is now the appropriate time?” Blue eyes flashed her way briefly as she pulled her own weapon from deep within the chest of yet another monster. “We’re both a bit busy for conversation!”

“If not now, then when?” Grabbing her scabbard in her offhand, she began lashing out with double the frequency, hoping to buy them a bit of breathing room. “I should’ve told you months ago anyway!”

“Well, then, get on with it!” Weiss growled, obviously frustrated as even more of the horrid creatures surged onto the Longwang’s top deck.

Setting her scabbard back in its place, she used her newly empty left hand to grab the woman’s right, the momentary reprieve they’d bought themselves allowing their eyes to meet.

“I’ve loved you for years,” she said, all her reading of romance novels through the years ultimately rendered useless. They didn’t have the luxury of a purple-prose laden speech to convey her intents, as the threats all around them wouldn’t give them time enough to savor the moment. It had to be quick, to the point, and it may very well be short lived… but she would regret it eternally, through whatever afterlife awaited her, if she failed to speak up now. “Through all this, every step of this adventure, I’ve fallen even further in love and I choose to give my heart to you.” The growling fury bearing down on them hastened her words. “What choice do you make?”

Blake could see how Weiss’ expression shifted as she registered the words and their meaning and a light came to her eyes. “Winter.” The Faunus’ brow furrowed in confusion as her ears fell but the woman didn’t seem to notice, turning towards the top of the wheelhouse. “Winter! Marry us!”

Standing beside the helm, the woman’s elder sister stood, a saber in one hand and a dagger in the other, fending off two of the Grimm monsters at once while shooting a glare down to the top deck. Frankly, though Winter still exuded the intimidating presence of a high ranking naval officer, Blake had come to understand the woman a little better in recent months and trusted Yang’s judgment most of all, relief suffusing her being as she finally registered Weiss’ words. Her sister, though, seemed mildly annoyed. “I’m a little busy at present, Weiss!”

“You are the captain of this ship-“

“Co-captain!”

“-and you have the authority, so do it! Marry us!”

At that moment, Yang appeared, dropping down from somewhere along the masts and using the rope in her hands to swing to Winter’s aid, delivering a brutal kick to one creature’s head while immediately launching herself in the opposite direction to throw a punch at another, somehow landing on her feet with a wide smile on her lips. Despite the fresh cuts along her arms and blood smeared across her knuckles, the woman seemed in high spirits but had always enjoyed the thrill of the fight.

“A wedding in the middle of a fight for the fate of the seas?” A full bellied laugh as she ducked a wipe swipe from yet another monster. “I’d expect nothing less from you two! If you don’t, Snowdrift, I will!”

“Oh, fine.” While using her sword to lop off the arm of an attacking monster, Winter jumped up onto the railing just in front of the wheel, somehow raising her voice to carry over the din of the raging battle. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, locked in deadly combat, to bear witness to the union of two thrice-damned souls in holy matrimony.” 

Unfortunately, what small reprieve they’d bought themselves ended at that moment, and Blake and Weiss had to jump apart to dodge another Grimm attempting to destroy them, but they turned in tandem and struck it down before turning their attention to the new wave of Grimm surging across the top deck, Winter’s voice briefly straining as she continued her speech while fending off even more attacks.

“Brought together by the raging seas of fate- you blasted barnacled bastard, can’t you see I’m busy- these two have demonstrated a will to persevere, to remain loyal to one another- Sundrop, a little help- and to support one another in this world and the next and I swear I will destroy you, now- stop- this- nonsense!”

Blake briefly looked up towards the wheelhouse, watching as Winter somersaulted over one creature and plunged her saber into its back while catching another’s claws with her dagger long enough for Yang to tackle it away, using her fists to render it unconscious or possibly dead. Meanwhile, Blake’s own blade bit into the hides of even more creatures while Weiss assisted, one delivering the first blow or blocked an attack while the other finished the cretin off, their off hands finding the other’s again and interlocking. They danced along the top deck, the rhythm of their hearts their only guide, unable to stop the smiles beginning to curl their lips despite the life threatening battle they found themselves embroiled in, because they were there, together, as they were always meant to be.

“Blake, do you take Weiss- I swear by the eleven seas- to have and to hold-“ the clanging of swords briefly rose, swelling to a crescendo punctuated by a cannonball blowing through the side of the wheelhouse “- from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, with a few of those options being considerably less likely- ah!“ The Faunus couldn’t help but wince as a claw scored along Winter’s side, incensing the woman even further. “Oh damn it all to hell and back!” Her frustration reached a boiling point as even more of the Grimm swarmed up the wheelhouse stairs to reach her, blue eyes flashing with malicious intent. “Finish the damn vows yourself!”

To her surprise, Weiss didn’t miss a beat, pulling her close by the hand as they used their blades to block two incoming attacks. “In sickness and in health, to love and cherish till death do us part.”

“And even after, yes, I do,” she replied, both of them silently counting in their heads before pushing back against their enemies, making quick work of one before dealing with the other. “And do you, Weiss, take me, to have and to hold, from this day forward-“

“Of course I do, really, as if you have to ask.” Again their swords flashed as they moved together, pushing beyond the physical limitations of one person to strike down monster after monster- a testament and demonstration that no problem, no obstacle, no force in this world or the next, could rip them asunder. “I crossed an ocean and more to find you, Blake. Now, more than ever, I do.”

The Faunus couldn’t help the way her shoulders relaxed and the goofy little smile that curled her lips. “Aw.”

The moment, perhaps, wasn’t best suited to the sentimentality, as Weiss had to dart around her to block yet another cutlass, and it seemed for every one they’d cut down, four more Grimm had sprung up in their places. “Focus, Blake.”

“By- the- power- I will rend your soul from your mangled body you pox covered cur- power vested- would you-“

As Winter struggled with defending herself twice over and continuing the speech, Yang effortlessly jumped in to join her- in more ways than one. As the woman’s fists connected and cracked bone plate after bone plate, her voice carried above the symphony of battle, a bright brass tone that cut through everything with ease.

“By the power vested in us as Captains of this ship, we now pronounce you wife and wife!” Now with help, Winter managed to switch from a mostly defensive fighting style to one that took advantage of the other woman’s presence, and together they beat back the boarding party and sent them tumbling into the tumultuous seas below. “Now kiss your bride!”

Even though they probably shouldn’t, Blake and Weiss temporarily disregarding the fight raging around them, pulling towards the other, their blades lightly crossing as their lips met. In that moment, they’d won- for all that still remained, for the strife and uncertainty they faced, it didn’t matter; they’d finally bared their hearts to one another- and the Faunus could hardly believe it. Her wildest dream come true.

“Blake! Weiss!” They jolted apart, surprised to find Ruby’s scythe deeply embedded in the chest of one monstrosity that looked like it might’ve been poised to deliver a killing blow to both of them. The young woman herself merely looked lightly annoyed, silver eyes pleading. “Priorities!”

“I make no apologies,” Weiss said, though she did lift her rapier and stab it through yet another of the Grimm that tried to take advantage of their distraction. “A pirate is always allowed to kiss her wife, Ruby, it’s in the Code.”

“They’re more like guidelines and totally not applicable when we’re fighting undead monsters conjured by a sea goddess! Please, focus!”

“More importantly.” Although still somewhat preoccupied by the enemies trying to dislodge her from the helm, Winter appeared invested enough in the conversation to offer her own viewpoint. “You can’t rightly start the honeymoon with all these uninvited guests.”

“She has a point.” Blake reluctantly admitted, her own sword flashing through the air and cutting through yet another enemy. “Let’s finish this.”

Then they surged forth, the two newly-wed brides fighting with renewed conviction, tearing through the boarding party and, eventually, finding their way onto the Grimm Reaper’s top deck themselves, eager to put the battle to an end. Beyond that, they couldn’t begin to fathom what fate awaited them but they knew the part that mattered most.

They’d face it together. --- Bonus Scene – while the battle still rages Yang: “I can’t believe those two beat us to getting married! You know what this means?” Winter: “And what’s that?” Yang: “We’ll have to beat them to having a kid!” Winter: *a beat* “Well, I suppose we’ve already accomplished that.” Yang: “Yeah, we- wait, what?” Winter: *knowing look* Yang: *blinks, then throws her fists in the air* “Whoo! I’m gonna be a momma!” Winter: “One step at a time, Sundrop, let’s focus on ‘not dying’ first and then we can address-“ *another Grimm swipes at Winter and just barely nicks her shoulder* Yang: [BEAST MODE: ENGAGE] Winter: *watches as Yang flies into a rage and begins laying waste* “… well, I suppose that’s one way to do it.” --- Y’all: “Hey, Tex, think you can write some Monochrome without featuring Elderburn?” Me:

Also, if anyone’s curious, the title is a play on Hans Zimmer’s “He’s A Pirate”, otherwise known as the Pirates of the Caribbean Theme Song, which is why there’s so many fucking musical descriptors and references throughout. A big shoutout to @maburito​ who, as usual, served as inspiration for the shenanigans.

[shadowyrevenant]

2, 7, and 17! :)

First of all really nice ask meme, I'll have to try to remember to send you some back later, also good to see that my inbox is open bc for the longest time I was worried that it was closed without me knowing lol anyways

2 - Who is your main?

Oh gosh mains are super hard for me to keep in this game atm, but Wraith is atm the only one I'm super playing normally {probably because it was just recently that I finally got her heirloom} but other mains are Revenant, Mirage {was my first heirloom} , Lifeline, Wattson, Crypto, Pathfinder {my og main from s0} and Fuse, {Octane and Bangalore are two more but I got 69 kills on both of them this season so atm I have not been playing them}

7 - Favorite and least favorite map, and why?

Favorite is for sure World edge, bc world edge is nice and the only map I'm good at rank on! And it's pretty imo {but it also reminds me of when I had to stop playing bc world edge made my pc die inside.... And at that time I was only playing pc apex lol}

Least favorite gotta be king cayron at this point, the map feels oddly too big, rank was awful af on it this season, and just how many event modes made me play the map this season? No thanks will be happy without it for awhile, oddly I found the map more fun during the earlier seasons and even season 5 than rn, but ye atm least favorite map, if they maybe ever bring back older versions of it however I do love those versions alot.

17 - Lore you want to see more explored?

Hmm that's a hard one bc the Lore isn't something I'm as into as other people, it's nice to have the stories and back story, but I felt the story we have been getting have not been good at all, so I guess more Revenant stuff?? Maybe more story about Bangalore heirloom as that seems to being set up?? Honestly anything as long as it's good and not like.... S6 story

[ge]

hi so i started playing onmyoji because of you and i wanted to ask if you can give me any tips?? im at level 16 i think im doing well so far but since idk anyone who plays anything would help! sorry for bothering

HEHE YESS ok.. this got rlly long WHOOPS 

so first thing u shld do while ur at a low level is get a mentor.. when i started playing i just fucked around and didnt get a mentor until i was well into lvl 40.. a mentorship is where low lvl (15 to 45 i tihnk..) players can apply for an apprenticeship and level up fast while also getting rewards such as grade darumas and a random ssr once u finish ur apprenticeship.. u can find the mentor application icon in the right side of ur courtyard.. it shld look like this!

while under a mentor u are also lvling up ur friendship which, once it reaches a certain level, it unlocks the co-op feature that u can find by clicking the scroll at the bottom right hand side of ur screen > friends > co-op tab at the bottom right side of the pop up screen... there u can access ur friends powerful shikigami that u can use a limited amount of times daily to beat hard chapters/evo/soul zones, etc etc... if ur looking for a mentor i recently finished an apprenticeship w someone so im free to help out if ur interested ^__^ (my user is @.sneer [all lowercase] if u didnt already know hehe)

join a guild if you havent already! i tihnk it prompts you to join a guild when u first start playing i dont rmbr but a couple things to rmbr.. one. if ur guild has ‘15gq’ ‘100gq’ in its notice, gq means guild quest and u like.. HAVE to do those or else theyll kick u from the guild.. u can find the guild quests by going to ur guild, clikcing the shrine tab on the bottom right, and where it says GROUP QUESTS thats it! usually theyre basic things like submit grade four souls or evo materials but u shld definitely stack up on evo materials and souls so u dont run out.. so if ur guild says 100+gqs.... i wld suggest leaving that guild for a lighter gq guild.. 100+gq guilds are like.. big bad guilds who wanna rank in the top ten soo save urself the trouble.... TWO. ur realm! ur realm comes w ur guild so if ur kicked u cant access ur realm :( i think u already know what ur realm is and what it does so i will just say .. fuse ur low level realm cards.. SAVE UR DRUMS REALM CARDS.. if its a 1*, fuse it but if its 3*+... save that bad boy..

speaking of jade... SAVE IT.. jade and mystery talismans r like GOLD.. theyre rlly easy to get in the beginning of the game but they start getting super scarce when ur lvling up and r completing achievements.. usually when u get ten mystery amulets or 1k jade ur gonna think “oh what if i get an ssr out of this summon ooh” YOU WILL NOT.. this game HATES ur ass it hates u so much it hates ME it hates EVERYONE except lvl 60s who get new ssrs and shit on their first summon... ennieway.. random chance up events r stupid scams but chance up events featuring new shikigami are not... like the one thats going on right now for sp aoandon.. these r good events... random chance up events coming up out of no where is just netease being like ‘buy more jade we want ur money ugly idiot... stupid lmao’.. so yeah hoard ur amulets and jade AH ALSO IN THE MALL go to the mall and go to GENERAL.. youll see a package that says smth like 5 daily jade or smth that costs 666 jade.. BUY THAT itll give u 5 jade daily everyday.. it also stacks up so if ur not online for a couple days u wil be swimming in it baby...

oh god what else... click ur scroll on the bottom right and at the end next to collection youll see a tab that says TEAM.. thats a very useful helpful tab bc if u ever need help or want to join in on someone elses team for loot this is where u go.. when i started playing and i was farming for hiyoribo shards i always went to the system chat and clicked rlly fast on the hiyoribo shard zone hoping i cld get in ... i did that up until i was in my lvl 40s .. ur prbly smarter than me and alreayd know abt this tab but just felt like i needed to mention it just in case.........

SHARDS... if u get enough shards u can form a summoning pact w that shikigami.. demon seals are little side quests that pop up after youve completed a chapter/exploration and they come up randomly with a handful of different shikigami... but you can also access all of the demon seals from the TEAM tab i mentioned above.... demon seals only have a handful of shikigami though not all of them so dont expect to see like ssr demon seals lol also  some of the shikis u can farm from demon seals are VERY good.. ill touch on this later.. DEMON PARADE is another good way to collect shards.. in ur courtyard, click the town sign and the demon parade sign shld be the first thing u see! demon parade, unlike the demon seals, are chance thing, u might get the shards u want or u might not.. its kinda stupid... throwing beans around and shit.. itll give u a lineup of three shiki that u can choose from, if u hit the shiki u picked u get extra shards.. u might see some shiki in the parade w little lanterns over their heads, that just means they give more shards too nothing special

SHIKIGAMI... when ur looking at all of ur rare and sr shikigami ur probably thinking “this sucks these r all USELESS i want ssrs and sps >:(” well akchually... some of the best shiki in the game (for beginners especially) are rares and srs... shouzu (r), kamaitachi (sr), and hiyoribo (sr), are all farmable shikigami u can get from demon seals, if u havent summoned them already! yamausagi, a shiki u will see a LOT, is also a very easily summonable shiki so dont throw her away.. if u have duplicates of the same shiki u can PROMOTE THEM and it will level up one of their skills, just like a skill daruma! (DONT waste ur skill darumas they are soo valuable.. only use them on the shiki u use the most and want to lvl up skills on).. lvling up the skills on ur shiki increases their power and adds perks and makes them over all.. very sexy..

EDIT: added in this list of easy farmable beginners shikigami that u want to keep and build (refer to list BENEATH this one for list of roles)

kujira (sr) support

yamausagi (r) puller

shouzu (r) unique/shield **DEMON SEAL**

hiyoribo (sr) healer/revive **DEMON SEAL**

kusa (r) healer/dps

samurai x (r) cc

momo (sr) healer/revive

ushi no toki (r) unique

kamikui (r) pusher

oitsuki (sr) orbs

komatsu (sr) cc

kamaitachi (sr) puller **DEMON SEAL**

all shikigami have a certain role and its very important u know which shiki is which bc sometimes if u use them wrong u can mess up ur entire team.. here are all of the roles and some shiki examples:

dps: dps stands for ‘damage per second’ but it can also be used as a noun to describe a shikigami that is damage focused (ex. kuro mujou, momiji, hangan, mio)

cc: stands for ‘crowd control’. ccs have the ability to limit the number of enemies actively fighting during an encounter giving u the advantage (ex. enma, yuki onna, yumekui, samurai x)

pusher: pushes the enemies move bar back, giving u the advantage of going first (ex. kamikui)

puller: basically the same thing as pusher. pulls the ally move bar forward (ex. kamaitachi, yamausagi)

shield: shiki that provides a shield of some sort to protect allies without the use of souls (ex. ichimokuren, shiro)

heal: self explanatory (ex. sakura, hana)

revive: healer types with the ability to revive players w a cooldown. not all healers are revives (ex. hiyoribo, momo)

support: self explanatory.. supports allies (ex. miketsu, kujira, bake-kujira)

unique: shiki w unique abilities that cant be placed under labels (ex. hakuzosu, ushi no toki)

orbs: shiki that supply orbs to ur team (ex. aoandon, zashiki, oitsuki)

counter: shiki that counters after an enemy attack (ex. mannendake, vampire)

AND FINALLYYYYYY how to build ur shiki... while doing explorations u get free little souls.. in the beginning this will be ok since ur just starting off but actually each shiki has a perfect soul that makes them work the best.. now there are too many souls for me to actually list so as a parting gift to this entirely too long onmyoji cheat sheet, i will leave u this SHIKIGAMI BUILD GUIDE made by the nura clan.. it lists EVERY shikigami w the perfect soul for them, what role they play, and how to build them.. i touched on their roles a little bit above but i cldnt list everything so heres this.. i use it like everyday when building new shiki its sooo helpful

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1zZoMPfuA1plomt6Kq077Q9CZ3mD_0ThYzF_tIUyf28M/edit#gid=824193257

ANYWAY.. I TIHNK IM DONE.. I HOPE THIS WASNT A COMPLETE UNINTELLIGIBLE MESS... if u need clarification for anything pls ask i feel like i mashed up a bunch of words together and called it a day.. ummmm so yeah :) theres probably..... stuff... i might be missing but if theres smth specific u want to know about JUST ASK!!!!!!!!! im always looking for new omj friends...