#but anyways this scene started with one of the other companions getting to his room before me and his demon had taken control

[deepwoundsandfadedscars]

This game continues to make me obsessed with this guy

[bullet-prooflove]

Three Shots: Ryan x Reader (Yellowstone)

Tagging: @kmc1989 @trublu2u @yousigned-upforthis @queenslandlover-93 @ladychaos1525

Companion piece to:

Kitty - Ryan knows something's not right when he seees you with another man.

Such A Good Girl - Ryan makes a realisation about your undercover op.

It’s the gun shots that change everything.

There’s three of them, each one a loud retort that echoes through the clear night air as Ryan sits behind the wheel of his truck, that casefile on his lap. He’s out of the vehicle in an instant, heart hammering in his chest as he races towards the house with his Glock in his hand.

This shit right here, this is his nightmare.

The door is unlocked when he reaches it, it’s the way of people who buy second homes in remote areas like this. They don’t think to lock the doors because whose around to open them anyway.

The stench of cordite hits him the moment he steps into the hall way, he can taste it on his tongue as he searches the house for you with a franticness he feels in the very depths of his soul. It’s in the study he finds you and the scene… it’s nothing like he expected.

You’re sitting in a leather chesterfield with Myer’s dead body at your feet and your gun in your hand, resting lightly on the arm of the chair. Blood blossoms across the expensive cream sweater the other man is wearing, saturating the fabric as crimson spreads underneath him. It’s the expression on his features that gets Ryan, the look of absolute surprise that his life had ended this way.

“Katalina.” Ryan says softly trying to understand what happened and you look up at him without so much as a hair out of place.

“I found that.” You tell him as you gesture to the laptop on the coffee table. “And I just couldn’t let him get away with it.”

Ryan folds his sleeve over his hand, careful not to leave a fingerprint as he presses the space bar. A video starts to play and it’s the worst fucking thing he’s seen in his entire life.

“There’s one for each of them.” You tell him, your voice completely devoid of emotion. “One for each of the girls he raped and then dumped on the reservation.”

It’s then that it dawns on Ryan, what happened here tonight. Myers hadn’t attacked you at all. You’d executed him.

Three to the chest, just like they taught you at the academy.

“You need to make the call.” You tell him, your eyes meeting his with a clarity he finds harrowing. “Tell them what you found when you walked into this room.”

“I’m not letting you go to prison for putting down a fucking animal.” Ryan tells you and he can tell your surprised by the expression on your features. “He doesn’t get to take you down with him.”

Already his mind is working damage control, the same way it does with every single mess he’s ever had to clean up for the Duttons.

“You found the video and he attacked you.” Ryan informs you as he starts to stage the scene in his head. “When you shot him, you were in fear for your life.”

“Ryan.” You say gently as you stand up and step towards him. “Nobody’s going to believe that, there’s not a mark on me.”

“Well baby.” He sighs as grasps your arms and rolls up your sleeves. “We’re gonna have to change that.”

The next couple of minutes are a true testament of love and Ryan hates every fucking second of it. He grips your arms so tightly, he leaves finger marks embedded in the flesh. He tears your shirt, sending the buttons careening in different directions. He fucks up your hair, yanking it out of that neat braid so it’s mused up and loose. When it comes to the crunch, to actually inflicting violence on you, he just can’t force himself to do it so he steps back, surveying the mess he’s made of you.

It’s not enough, he realises, his heart sinking and that’s when you take the intuitive.

“There’s a rolling pin in the kitchen.” You tell him, your voice resolute. “I need you to get it for me.”

Love Ryan? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[miriadalia]

About Keenry and how the CK writers ruined one of the best relationships of the show...

I'll try to keep it short.

These are the reasons why I think Tory and Robby shouldn't be endgame in Cobra Kai anymore:

Their miscommunication will only lead them to more heartbreak.

Back in season 4 I became a fulltime Keenry shipper, especially after the Prom scenes. And the main reason was because we could see how they understood each other, talked things out and worried about the other... After the season 5 breakup nothing was the same for them anymore.

With Tory wanting to solve her problems always on her own and with Robby escaping and assuming things before talking with her properly... They made it pretty clear they have communication and trust problems. And I get it, they both have had hard lives. But I hoped that after they made up in the last episode of season 5, they both had learned their lessons...

Flash forward to season 6 and instead we had more of the same but a thousand times worse.

Their SECOND break up

Listen. I know many couples go on and off for years and then end up getting married anyways, especially when they started their relationship pretty young... But I don't think that's healthy at all.

If you feel the constant need to resort to a break up or pause to fix your problems then that probably means you don't actually go well with that person.

And that's fine. That doesn't mean one of the parts is a horrible person. Just means it doesn't work and even if it's hurting it will be for the best in the future.

And yeah, I think the same about Sam x Miguel in case you're wondering.

The "love triangles" they used to kind of made them up again

They really run out of ideas in the writing room. We already had the drama: Tory mom died and she had to fix her relationship with the Miyagi Dos. She could have been forced to fight Robby in the tournament because of the rules, not because she was angry at him.

Why did Robby had to go through literal SA with that freak of a girl while thinking his second girlfriend had also cheated with another guy??

Why did Tory had to be captain with a guy that was made to be just a cartoon villain instead of an actual companion? And why did she also had to experience watching the boy she loved kissing another girl for the second time??

Kwon and Zara were such a wasted potential it makes my blood boil. They had multiple time Taekwondo champions with really good acting skills and they just went with the psycho gang freak and the superficial jealous bitch (ahem, abuser). But that's for another post...

The solution to these "misunderstandings" was... Pushing their respective freaks to defend each other

I'm talking about Tory pushing Kwon in the hall and Robby throwing Zara like a potato bag during the brawl.

"You really choose her over me?"

"It's not even close"

WTF was that?? It wasn't a choice in the first place!! Robby was drunk to the point of unconsciousness. Who on earth wrote that?

And are Tory and Robby supposed to be back together just because he said that?

He also said: "I know you better than that. I shouldn't have let Kwon get into my head" Well........ Your actions didn't show, honey, you immediately accused her of hooking up with him during the last fight.

Kwon's death and its impact in both their lives

Even if they didn't like him and Kwon made things even more difficult between them, he was still a teen like them.

Look at Tory's face in the picture above. Do you think she can handle any more death after what she had to go through with her mother? Do you think she will be magically cured by the power of Robby's love and fight Zara to "get revenge" in part 3?? Please, don't.

Even if a year has passed between the Sekai Taikai and the new tournament, this kid is traumatised. I don't think she should be fighting at all for a long, long time.

Robby, I can see him fighting, but I'm really disappointed on how his character arc went... Yes, he has finally gotten over his second place complex and understood he is a good leader if he wants to... But I can't see how that can improve his relationship with Tory.

So, lastly, I hope this is what one of the CK creators meant when he posted that "some high school relationships last forever, other don't". It makes me sad if it has to be Keenry the one that doesn't end up being endgame. But at the same time is the only solution I see to this poor writing...

[fellthemarvelous]

Staged and Good Omens: The discontinuity of a story within a story within a story.

I'm watching the third season of Staged again right now, and I think I've figured something out.

The discontinuity that people are talking about of Good Omens 2.

Staged 3 was a very modern version of A Christmas Carol. Ep 1. Is there a version? (David and Michael work with Simon again) Ep 2. Who's Playing Who? (Scrooge, episode was a farce) Ep 3. Past (Michael and David are co-dependent af) Ep 4. Present (Michael and David fail to write a script) Ep 5. Future (David tells everyone they are doing a live show) Ep 6. Knock, Knock (Simon gets even, ending is sad but not really because they are just taking a break and breaks don't last forever, and Simon gets a job offer based on his script for Knock, Knock, the one story he didn't write.)

The epic trainwreck that is David and Michael's live version of A Christmas Carol is actually a hit, but everyone else has to convince them to stop the show because it can't go on forever. So they end it with Michael and David agreeing to take a break from working together even though it makes both of them sad.

But the whole premise of Staged was that everything was filmed on iPads, computers and cell phones. And it was submitted to Simon so he could piece it together.

Simon Evans wrote Staged as a love story between David and Michael. Simon writes what he sees and finds ways to incorporate fiction into reality. He saw them on Good Omens together and he saw the chemistry between David and Michael, and he turned it into a comedy about these two eccentric actors who clearly love each other. And they agreed to star in it.

They improvised most of it, but Simon laid out the framework of the plot for them to follow, and then he let them be themselves.

The entire show has layers upon layers of meta weaved into it.

Anyway, my point is...

This post is one of several that covers the different ways discontinuity seems to occur during Good Omens 2. The evidence is very compelling.

I'm not here to point all that out because I don't have the strength of some of the meta writers in this fandom, and they're already on top of it, but if we look to Staged as an example, what is the plotline that Good Omens 2 is following?

Good Omens 2 is a modern version of.... Ep 1. The Arrival Ep 2. The Clue (A Companion to Owls) Ep 3. I Know Where I'm Going (The Resurrectionists) Ep 4. The Hitchhiker (Nazi Zombie Flesheaters) Ep 5. The Ball Ep 6. Every Day

What are the stories happening around Aziraphale and Crowley? They're the focal point of season two, but what else is happening?

Neil Gaiman has said that everything means something. They aren't just showing us these things by accident. There is a story happening outside of Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship. And we are all looking closely for that person doing a very odd thing just out of sight or objects being moved around without knowing how they got there in the first place.

There was literally an entire scene in Staged where they are trying to figure out who is playing Scrooge and Simon is so anxious that he keeps moving his plant between two different spots in the room. It also ends up with Georgia accidentally planning her own birthday party because David is in Tokyo. But then they cut at one point and you learn David was actually in his bedroom and not a hotel room in Japan and Georgia didn't really just plan her own birthday party. That chaos was scripted. David has to change clothes, they have to go several minutes back in the scene they just did, but as Anna points out, the sun is not in the same place it was when they started the scene. And then Michael loses his shit at Simon and storms off.

You think that's the reason Simon left, but then we get the episode where Georgia tells David Michael wants to write the script and then tells Michael that David wants to write the script. She does it so she can get them alone in a room together because people love watching them argue. They find out she set them up about six hours later. They are hungry and hot and annoyed and mad at her so she gets Simon to come back to work with David and Michael. Simon comes back from cosplaying as a dentist, brings the food Michael ordered hours ago, and sits down to write. Michael gets pissed off at Simon again because Simon forgot the prawn crackers, so he throws his food at Simon.

Some of these are of the past. Some are of the present. They were all filmed at the same time though so you don't know what happened when or why.

These scenes are all cobbled together. They tell a complete story though. The order just isn't exact.

The story we are seeing in season 2 isn't the real story. It was happening around Aziraphale and Crowley, but with them at the focal point, you get a romantic comedy and it distracts you from what's going on in the background.

There is more than one story in season 2. It's basically a jigsaw puzzle that we can try to piece together, but we won't know what's actually happening until we get the much needed context of season 3.

There are clues all over the place in Good Omens 2. The story is being told through so many other methods except for the one that makes the most sense to us because someone doesn't want us to see what's coming, so we get distracted by Nina and Maggie, Jim, Aziraphale and Crowley.

We know Muriel and Saraqael are up to something. We know Shax and Furfur are up to something. We know the Metatron is up to something. What we don't know is where God went. We hear God's voice in Companion to Owls and we hear God's voice speaking through and with Jim when Crowley orders him to tell them what is going on. It ties directly to the first time Crowley and Aziraphale ever worked together.

We know that Aziraphale is going to Edinburgh and he knows exactly where he's going because he and Crowley have been there before. It challenges the concept of good and evil because Crowley does the good thing and gets sucked into Hell. Right next to Gabriel's statue.

We know that Aziraphale picks up a hitchhiker even though he doesn't want to, and it turns out to be Shax. She reminds Aziraphale of the time that Furfur caught them working together. There were zombies and human magic tricks and Aziraphale uses sleight of hand to save Crowley from being dragged back down into Hell again.

The episode titles of Staged 3 all represent different chapters of A Christmas Carol. But it was more than that because Michael is upset with David for doing adverts without him after they were both asked to work together at first. They love each other and they love working together, but it's preventing them from doing other things they want to do. Hence the break from working together.

It's a story within another story within another story.

And I think that's what we are witnessing in Good Omens. Things aren't happening in the right order. Beyond the sadness of Aziraphale and Crowley splitting up, there is still the next apocalypse to deal with. The story we are getting in season two isn't happening sequentially. It's being manipulated to hide the signs that things are already underway by giving us a love story as a distraction.

And it works very damn well. Because the love story was beautiful.

Staged 3 ending

Good Omens 2 ending

[sevensinswithin]

Okay so to everyone who was here for the original post, here’s basically how Alicent and Laenor get married in my lavender marriage au:

The entire thing starts because Alicent catches Laenor and Joffrey fucking in a secluded part of the castle a few weeks before Aemma dies. The boys only realize they’ve been caught because Alicent runs away from them like her ass is on fire. That girl had no idea gay male sex was an option in life and now needs to reevaluate everything in her life after catching them.

Laenor then spends the next few weeks trying to find a way to get her alone because guess what. Fucking in a secluded but also public area is not a good strategy if you want to keep your gay love affair a secret. So now Laenor is hoping to convince Alicent to stay quiet about what she saw because his dad seems to think he'll grow out of it (do not attack me, this literally happens in canon) and he doesn’t want anyone to know yet since it might impact who he’ll get married to eventually. Meanwhile Alicent is desperately trying to forget that she ever saw anything and doesn’t tell Otto about seeing Laenor and Joffrey because let's be real. This man said “childhood companions” like it was a slur in that one scene, so she knows that her father would do something with this information. Alicent does not want to be the reason Joffrey and Laenor are in trouble for their relationship. Nevermind that she’s suddenly having the realization that women liking women isn’t that far of a stretch after all.

Unfortunately, to everyone else in the world, it looks like Laenor is trying to court her and that Alicent is just trying to be very polite about his interest in her since she never wants to be alone in a room with him unless they’re around other people. Which is something that is totally normal and not weird at all. Why would you say otherwise?

Then Aemma dies and Otto sends her to see Viserys in his room and Alicent is now very stressed about something else in her life because she wants to do what her father says, but she also doesn’t want to betray Rhaenyra.

So during those six months after Aemma dies - which is apparently how much times passes between Aemma’s death and when Viserys decides to marry Alicent according to a HOTD article I read - Alicent, like in canon, is sent by her father to Viserys’ chambers and desperately hopes that her father’s ambitions won’t happen and that Viserys will simply see her as person that is supporting him in his grief.

(Life Hack: If you ever want to read an article and it says you have to make an account to read the rest of it, just go back to the google page you found it on, right click the link, and save the link as an HTML document. That lets you read the article without having to make an account. I found this out from someone on the internet and damn did it help when I wanted to access any account restricted article. Anyways, back to the plot.)

So to counteract that and make it so she’s less appealing to Viserys, Alicent always mentions Laenor and how fond of him she is during their talks. She also mentions how worried she is about Rhaenyra and her position as heir because there seems to be so many people that seem to be under the impression that they can replace her by having Viserys marry one of their daughters and convince him change his heir to one of the possible children he might have with those daughters.

Meanwhile, Laenor is absolutely losing his mind because all of a sudden Alicent is always around him and receptive to interacting with him, even though literally weeks before she avoided being around him like the plague. During this she also manages to wring out of him the fact that his parents (mainly Corlys, let's be real) are talking about potentially marrying Laena to Viserys and that he hates that idea as she’s way too young in his eyes for that. Eventually Alicent manages to find a way to be alone with Laenor and make him swear to secrecy about what she'll tell him because telling anyone might mean that his sister will actually have to marry Viserys. He does and she fills him in on what her father wants and what she’s attempting to do, and that she needs his cooperation to get him to at least appear like they’re courting.

So Alicent and Laenor put up the appearance that they’re at least attracted to each other to get people talking, which totally doesn’t ignite jealousy in Rhaenyra at the idea of Alicent being in love with her cousin. Cue Rhaenyra absolutely doing everything in her power to make Laenor appear like a loser to Alicent and the rest of the court. Alicent makes sure to get her to stop that shit real quick and tells Rhaenyra that she and Laenor are only pretending to be in love in order to avoid having to marry someone that would disrespect Laenor’s preference for men and disregard Alicent’s autonomy. Alicent also mentions that possibly marrying Laenor means that Alicent and Rhaenyra will be allowed to see each other very frequently as she will be Laenor’s wife and the Velaryons are often at court since they are related to the royal family. So now they have Rhaenyra on board.

Eventually the night before that one small council meeting where in canon Viserys announces that he’ll marry Alicent, Alicent “confesses” to Viserys that she’s in love with Laenor and that she wants to marry him, but that her father would never allow Alicent to marry Laenor because he and Lord Corlys dislike each other. She also lets it “slip” that Otto is very adamant that Viserys must have a male heir despite the fact that Rhaenyra has already been made heir, and that he sees Alicent as a potential bride for Viserys despite her unwillingness to marry her best friend’s father. She also sprinkles in the fact that Rhaenyra would be devastated at the idea of her father remarrying, especially if the bride in question were her best friend or even her little cousin (Yeah fuck you Corlys, you’re on thin ice for that and the grow out of it comment), and the fact that surely his wife would want him to defend his daughter’s claim to the Iron Throne from potential usurpers, which is something that would definitely happen if he had a son.

This causes Viserys to absolutely lose his shit, but Alicent calms him down and he sends her away from his chambers. However, not before Viserys hints that he would not dissolve a marriage between a highborn lady and lord if they eloped and consummated the marriage. So instead of heading straight to her rooms, Alicent instead books it to Laenor’s chambers. The two of them run off to a sept and convince a septon to marry them with a few commoners as their witnesses because they can’t take any nobles in fear of being stopped (and to also have the commoners spread the fact that Alicent and Laenor eloped). Then she and Laenor head off to Laenor’s chambers to consummate the marriage with the help of Joffrey, who they had stay in Laenor’s chambers so that no one would get him in trouble or notice that he was in the room with them during the consummation, and to have Alicent stay over so that people could catch them together in the morning and spread the news of her “ruined reputation”.

The next morning Laena bursts into Laenor’s chambers like she always does and “catches” them before running off to tell Rhaenys the way all little siblings do. So then Rhaenys and Corlys show up, as does Otto; he caught wind of the situation through a servant he paid off to spy on the Velaryons. Once there Otto starts shaming Alicent about her ruined reputation and Laenor retorts that she didn’t ruin anything as he married her before he bedded her. Otto then explodes at the pair when Laenor says that and Corlys rushes to defend his son against all the stuff Otto is saying and threatening him with.

Eventually their argument gets so loud that a servant rushes to get Viserys and a few guards since they’re afraid that the two lords will resort to violence. Trailing after them is Rhaenyra and the Small Council, as the meeting was supposed to start half an hour ago but certain people were missing and needed to be found. So now the entire Small Council, Rhaneyra, and Viserys are at the doorway of Laenor’s room while a furious Otto and Corlys trade insults. Meanwhile Rhaenys sees how afraid Alicent and Laenor are and rushes to the pair’s defense (because they need someone in their corner that isn’t shaming the other party), saying that perhaps the two wouldn’t have resorted to eloping if Otto and Corlys weren't always at odds. Seeing the King, Otto rushes to demand that he have the septon reverse the marriage, but Viserys reveals that he knows about Otto’s plan to make Alicent marry him and how he knows that she wished to marry Laenor instead. He then fires Otto from being Hand and sends him packing to Oldtown, approving of Laenor and Alicent’s marriage as a final insult to Otto. He also firmly informs the small council that he will not be getting remarried, that Rhaenyra will remain his heir, and that anyone who objects otherwise is speaking of treason.

So there you go, the outline for a story that I’m most likely going to write in non-linear bits. In this world Alicent is Lady of Driftmark, Laenor and Joffrey get to be happy, and Viserys prioritizes making sure that Rhaenyra’s claim to the throne is secure. Also somewhere down the line in this universe Rhaenyra and Alicent get their shit together and realize they’re in love with each other, and Rhaenyra gets to marry Harwin because Daemon never takes her to the brothel and so she gets to pick her husband and be the polyamorous bi queen we all love.

[yeehawbrothers]

Inverted PB&J-11th Doctor x Fem! reader

I'm alive guys.

This was a request from a lovely fellow 11th lover, I wrote it platonically, but if you ignore a few words it could be romantic. I also wrote the reader as American, just because I am. (I also zoned out while writing this and do not remember most of it)

“Do you think it could be considered a federal crime to eat inverted peanut butter and jelly?” She asked, hands covered in grease, sparks flying almost catching her hair on fire, and her best friend beside her, in the same state. “Inverted?” He looked up from the wires in his hands, his grease and dirt covered face, also covered in confusion. “Yeah like,” an explosion of sparks behind her interrupted her statement, before she spun around and used her sonic to tame it momentarily. “If you put the peanut butter and jelly on the bread normally, right? And then instead of putting them like, face to face, you turned them outward.” She stared at him as he seemed to process her words. “Oh, yeah. That’s absolutely a crime” he nodded, as they both went back to what they were doing. 

Behind them, Amy and Rory stared at them in question, before turning to each other with faces of pure bewilderment. 

Amy slowly stood and walked towards the two timelords, crouched under the ball of wires. “Inverted peanut butter and jelly? Where on earth did that come from?” A shot of sparks erupted in the timelords face as she stopped her work momentarily, the metaphorical cogs in her mind visibly turning. “Boston, I think. In like, 1901.” She said, with a small smile. “What?” She tilted her head slightly, “You asked where peanut butter and jelly came from, Boston. In the early 1900s.” She paused, “But if you’re asking about inverted peanut butter and jelly, I don’t know that. I’ll find to find out though.” She turned back to her work, as Amy shook her head and walked back to where Rory was sitting watching the scene unfold. 

“What was that about?” Rory said as he watched his wife flop down on the makeshift bench beside him. “Who knows.” They turned back to watch the two timelords who were now bickering over the wire placement, before all went silent as the lights flickered and a pounding was heard on the metal doors. The two timelords looked towards the door, before turning to each other and immediately standing up. The Doctor began quickly scanning the room as his right-hand woman ran to where Amy and Rory sat. “Hey so, we should probably start running.” As if on que, the metal doors flew off the hinges into the room. “Right, let’s go.” The Doctor ran over, grabbing her hand as they began to run down the hall to the Tardis.

 They stopped, allowing their two companions to run ahead into the welcoming blue doors of the tardis. The Doctor lightly pushed her ahead of him into the box, running in last and slamming the doors behind him. The two ran up to the main console and began flicking switches and pulling levers causing the Tardis to take off with a violent shake, before stilling. “wow that was-“ Amy began, before getting cut off by a certain timelord.

 “Why would you use the purple wire for the highest current?” The Doctor froze, looking over at his companion. “Well I-“ The Doctor began stuttering over his words. “No, seriously. It only had the capacity for 5 voltage, and it was running at 25. No wonder the doors were faulty.” She stood, hands on her hips staring him down. “Well if YOU,” he pointed at her, shaking his finger, “Hadn’t gone off about inverted peanut butter and jelly-“ She gasped, “Do NOT blame me Mr.! That was an incredibly valid question. Right?” She turned to the two humans watching the scene unfold. “Well-“ Rory started. “Don’t get them involved!” The Doctor said, “You know what, it doesn’t even matter. Because everyone knows peanut butter and butter is better anyways.” She stomped her foot in detest, “You take that back!” He shook his head, crossing his arms as he looked down at her. “You’re the British one, eating beans on toast or whatever it is, so you have absolutely no credibility on what’s good.” He gasped lightly, “EXCUSE ME? The British one???” She nodded, a small smile playing on her lips. “Yeah, I got lucky and am a proud American.” She stood in a fake salute. 

“Listen,” Her hand coming to rest by her side, “All I’m saying is one fried Oreo will change your life.” His tongue stuck out in disgust as he considered the notion. “You American’s and your fried stuff. It’s so unhealthy for you.” She scoffed, “At least we don’t eat like we have no access to real food.” They stood like that for a moment, in a standoff of sorts, the Doctors face one of disgust, and hers smug as could be. Before bursting out in laughter and pulling each other into a tight hug. 

When they broke apart, she wacked him upside the head, hearing Amy snicker and watching the Doctor rub his head. “Don’t ever do that again though, I’m doing the wiring next time.” She pointed, hand on her hip. The doctor stood quickly, taking his turn at coming to a false salute. She shoved him jokingly, before turning back towards the console. “SO. Where to now?” The doctor thought for a moment before running around the console causing the TARDIS to shake and launch into takeoff. All the passengers grabbed a hold of the metal bars circling the console. “I know this amazing place in the Amedromia galaxy! Its- WHOA WHOA WHOA” He was interrupted quickly. “You know I’m banned.” 

Silence fell among the Tardis, “Your-your banned?” The doctor tilted his head slightly. “Yeahhhhh…. So, I accidently stole this like super important religious piece from one of their temples cause I thought it was a free sample.” The doctors face dropped into one of annoyance, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” She became defensive quickly, “Listen- at least I’M not the one who stole that guy’s eye cause he thought it was a Halloween costume.” “HEY, YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T TALK ABOUT THAT AGAIN-“ As they both launched into yet another bickering session, Amy and Rory sighed and shook their heads. “Here we go again.”

Thanks for reading, and thanks to @dinofromspac3 for the request. <3

All the love-A.

-i do not give permission for my work to be copied, translated, or posted anywhere but here on this post.

[loremaster]

CHAPTER 1 - Man Door Hand Nail Fur Door (Comic)

...aka the Zilara manifesto.

(tw: strangulation, suggestive themes) BOBA AU MASTERPOST: [link]

Yakou tells Yuma to go to the hotel and corral all the other detectives who have been sleeping soundly in the nice fancy rooms over there. Yuma, who got 3 hours of sleep on Yakou's creaky couch, says "Okay, sure thing, Dad." ((side note - wouldn't the train detectives have had rooms reserved at the hotel? Couldn't Yuma have had one of those?))

Instead of agreeing to meet up, they all send poor little Kokohead around the city doing side quests.

Pucci wants to know if Kanai Ward has any good symphonies; recordings of classical music are all well and good, but it's no substitute for the acoustics of a live concert hall. Closest thing Yuma can find is Aetheria Academy's chamber orchestra program. Musicians in Kanai Ward used to be part of a larger regional symphonic orchestra, but since Amaterasu locked off the city, they've had to resort to busking. Pucci seems disappointed, but resigns herself to checking out the high school girls' next concert anyway.

Aphex is cruisin' for a bruisin'. He spotted some suspicious movement in one of the districts on his radar (drug deals?), but every time he goes to check it out, he can't find out which people in the crowd are the suspicious ones. They must be afraid of Aphex's intimidating appearance, so Yuma goes in his stead to grill the people hanging around the square. Turns out they weren't dealing drugs, they were passing around anti-Amaterasu propaganda. They beg Yuma not to tell Aphex. Yuma goes back to the hotel to tell Aphex... who thinks anti-fascist action is cool, actually, so no need to do anything about those guys.

Melami wants to know about the local fashion scene, and is very curious about the dronebrellas she's seen around Kanai Ward. She sends Yuma to see what the big deal about them is, and once there, he gets roped into a long winding sales pitch for technology he can't afford. He relays as much of this as he can remember back to Melami, but once she hears they only come in one color, she decides she's not interested. What's the point if you can't customize it? Just get a regular umbrella. Or a rain coat. That's a much better way to show off your personality! Yuma tries not to scream about how much time he just wasted.

Zange shows Yuma a picture he took (with his mind) of a specific location in Kanai Ward, but can't quite remember where it was. Yuma has to go on a scavenger hunt to find the place that matches the picture and tell Zange how to get there. Zange assigns Yuma a numerical score based on how long it took him complete the quest (which is always too slow). This will be a repeatable quest/minigame with different locations every time.

As Yuma is about to leave the hotel, Zilch stops him. He offers a more formal introduction (since, you know, they didn't actually meet aboard the train) and volunteers (insists) to accompany the poor useless trainee as a senior detective, to show him how it's done.

Zilch has four animal companions with him at the moment: three caged mice and a dog named Bosch.

He doesn't seem to treat them very kindly, though. He isn't careful handling the mice's cage, and he orders Bosch around like one would speak to Alexa.

Anyway, Zilch and Yuma go look for the last remaining detective, Halara Nightmare. Canon ensues.

They run into The Boy and accept the quest to investigate the Nail Man murders. Halara needs some convincing.

At the church, Zilch makes a new friend, or so he thinks.

Zilch tactlessly asks the nun if her ears are natural or not, and starts bragging about how well his own surgery went. For the ears and tail, that is. The Nun doesn't like Zilch's attitude one bit. She watches him use his mice for spying and gets freaked out. The nun threatens to kill Zilch but he doesn't think she's serious.

Zilch says that he didn’t expect there to be a Metal Fox Church here, of all places. Yuma asks him to elaborate, and he says they’re a denomination that exists elsewhere in the world. The church near where he grew up was much larger and more spectacular than this one. The Metal Fox is a deity known for its fortitude and cunning, that offers protection from “hunters,” or persecution of any kind. Zilch doesn’t seem to believe in its teachings at all. #atheistpride

Meanwhile, the dog, Bosch, sniffs around and seems agitated by something. He can place the smells of all the church NPCs around the scene, but there's something else, too. Zilch barks the order - literally - for Bosch to track whichever scent doesn't belong, and the dog goes off on a solo mission.

Zilch has a plan to catch the Nail Man red-handed, but he won't tell what it is yet. He needs to prepare some stuff. So in the meantime, Yuma and Halara hold hands at several different crime scenes.

While Shinigami keeps blabbing about stripping detectives, Halara fucks off to who knows where and Yuma returns to the church to meet with Zilch. Zilch leads Yuma to the nearby woods and reveals his master plan to lure out the Nail Man by taking a doll with a slip of paper on it to the forest, and writing the name of someone for the Nail Man to kill...

"Yuma Kokohead," of course.

Yuma is terrified of being used as bait, but Zilch promises he'll intervene before the Nail Man can actually kill him, it'll be fine. So Yuma the pushover gets tied to a tree...

Halara unmasks the cloaked figure to reveal the priest of the Metal Fox Church, as they suspected. The priest begs for mercy - he was only trying to protect the people of Kanai Ward by purging it of corruption (and letting an innocent man take the fall for it)...!

Yuma thinks he might not have to rely on Shinigami's powers this time, but then...

Bosch leads them back to the church where Seth and his Peacekeepers are threatening Yakou.

And with that… it’s Mystery Labyrinth time!

Zilch’s voice is back to normal inside the Labyrinth. He seems oddly relaxed around Shinigami - because he insists this is not real and actually a dream. #atheist4lyfe

Yuma deduces that Zilch's name was written in the woods by the nun. She witnessed Zilch’s mistreatment of his animal companions and tactless assholery - but the thing that pushed it into murder territory was actually her recognizing the crest of the Alexander family on his fur coat. The full truth comes to light - the Alexanders have been known for generations as prolific trophy hunters. They “live alongside nature,” sure, but it’s a heavily controlled and subdued “nature.” This is antithetical to everything the Metal Fox Church stands for, so the nun, devout to her faith, believed Zilch to be an invasive threat to their way of life, and the peace of Kanai Ward.

And, since this revelation is taking place in the Mystery Labyrinth, of COURSE she gets a cool Mystery Phantom.

The gang also, like, solves the actual mystery.

Then once they find all the evidence they unmask the true culprit and his copycat, and the Priest's and Worshipper's souls are reaped.

Zilch is horrified. Somehow he didn't expect this was actually going to affect reality. Shinigami assures him that he won't remember any of the Mystery Labyrinth anyway, so...

Aaaaand eventually they do leave the Labyrinth. Halara is back to their usual steely exterior.

The masked priest in front of them drops to the floor dead. A scream from the church can be heard, presumably because the worshipper has just done the same. They go to check it out.

Then… Yomi shows up. He intimidates the group and doesn’t seem to deem any of the detectives worth his attention… until he notices Zilch.

Shinigami wonders if he recognized the Alexander family crest... but Yuma makes the connection and realizes Yomi might have had some sort of connection to the impostor on the train. That's pretty scary to think about. Was this the guy who tried to kill off all the Master Detectives coming into Kanai Ward? He seems dangerous...

Good thing Yomi has a devoted right hand to play around with. In front of everyone.

But anyway, regarding the Nail Man situation, Yomi decides to throw Seth under the bus, and punish him accordingly.

Bye Seth! Or should I say... Steve. :noes:

After his near-death experience, Zilch has a change of heart and decides he doesn't need a fur coat after all (seeing as it almost got him killed). Halara accepts it as payment for their services solving the case.... at least Zilch's half of it - Yuma still owes them a small fortune.

And with that the day is saved. Yuma plays a bit of baseball. Halara has a comfy new bed for their beloved strays. And Zilch... has a lot to think about.

-----

HELLO BOBA FANS!!! Thanks for your patience waiting for this update! I hope you can tell I've been working on this very hard (in between assignments for cartoon college)! The post didn't even fit all the images I made for this chapter - I'll be sure to post the other ones separately. At some point.

This chapter was an interesting challenge to write, trying to hammer down Zilch's character - how to make him distinct from his impersonator, but similar enough to lend credit to the impersonator. It took a while but I think I've finally landed on a solid backstory. I'll be posting more about him in the next installment of Boba AU - Zilch's Gumshoe Gabs. Then after that will be Chapter 2! Super excited to rub my gay little hands all over that one.

If you've made it this far, thank you so much for reading! If you liked this, then please... I beg of you... draw me some Zilara ;_;

BOBA AU MASTERPOST: [link]

[neverchecking]

Ok I saw the 🧜‍♀️ request and I have to ask for a part two

Can I have a yandere sky, fd,war, sage, CDI link ( excuses me princess) , Link between worlds, dark link x harpy reader please nsfw

You can!

I assume you meant Legend when you said A Link Between Worlds Link? And I think you also meant the animated Link (Courage) because CDI Link (Koridai) Is from a game. Those are the ones I wrote anyway. Also bc there are so many, these are shorter. And i know you also asked for Dink and FD, but I got lazy and didn't wanna make them a banner so...

(Have you guys ever seen the CDI scenes? Holy hell that is PAINFUL-)

Part one -> Here!

Smut so MDNI! 18+!

Smut CW: Breeding, Monster fucking, Reader is a harpy!, light baby trapping

A Bird's Eye View

・❥・Now, Sky, unlike the others, is used to birds. In fact, it was you who assisted him when he first began roaming the ground level.

・❥・You stuck by his side for the entire time before being left behind when he was deposited back on Skyloft.

・❥・He had tried finding you, but it was as if you just...disappeared.

・❥・So when he's on a ride with Crimson, and hears your distinct calls? He's thrown out whatever his previous goal was without so much as a flick of his wrist.

・❥・When he finds you hurt? He goes into total mother-hen mode.

・❥・When your bandaged and clean? hes just so ecstatic to see you again! He may be hovering, all but forcing food down your throat, but you have to understand.

・❥・He won't let you leave again.

<><><><>

"That's it, songbird. Nice and slow." His voice crooned smoothly over your warbled cries, hands holding your hips and easing your descent onto him. "You're doing so well."

You were a sight. Watching you above him, feathers ruffling as your body sheened with sweat, glimmering in the light around the room? It drove him mad with lust. Maybe desire? He just knew he wanted you. And he had you. You had come back to him!

He knew you were meant for him from the start. You had always been such a caring companion, perfect in every way. When you chirped at him for a cut a little too deep, or nuzzled up to him when the nights were a little too cold? He knew. When you shoved herbs and berries into his hands to boost his immune system? He knew. When you ran your taloned fingers through his hair, picking out twigs and bugs? He knew.

He knew that you were irrevocably his. His to keep and cherish and love and hold. Those were all privileges that were only bestowed upon him. He only had to give you your own privilege. One that would be exclusive to you and you alone.

And he knew exactly what he wanted it to be. Because he had seen you care for him. He had seen the way you fret and croon and-

And he wanted-no, needed to see you be that way with your child. No. That wasn't right either. Not your child. His child. A kid made from the two of you?

He was so excited to meet them.

・❥・You probably save him from that dragon knight. Yk the one? In the beginning of the game? Him.

・❥・It probably leaves your feathers scorched and that's where he steps in. He cares for you with his basic military first aid knowledge.

・❥・You prove to be useful in battle, acting as an aerial advantage, so he keeps you close.

・❥・Your especially helpful when it comes to Cia. Your an unaccounted for variable. And she doesn't like that. She can try and get rid of you, but because Wars keeps you so close, it doesn't quite work out.

・❥・This only deludes him further, because if this powerful sorcerer that has a hand in time and space, can't separate you two, nothing can.

<><><><>

The hand around your throat tightened just a bit as his hips crashed against yours. In the back of his head, he worried about hurting you, but he had a mission that needed to be fulfilled.

As a Captain, the mission would override any concern.

He needed to ensure you stayed with him. That no matter what, you stayed by his side. And what was more damning than a baby? A person who would rely on the two of you so heavily that you would never even think of leaving him.

And that's what he needed. He needed you to stay with him. He needed you to remain with him, with your unyielding loyalty and unbending ferocity. You were everything he needed in this life. And the thought of you having his baby? Was something he also needed. Just the thought of having this perfect little nuclear family made his nerves buzz. He would provide and you would stay by his side.

Like a good little bird.

・❥・I can't tell if I hate this guy or love him.

・❥・I just- I think i mostly wanna hit him.

・❥・Now, I don't know a lot about the animated series, but I have too much self respect (/j),

・❥・But he probably meets you through Sprite. She seems like the type to be like 'Look who I met' to attempt to rub it in your face, but it backfires.

・❥・Courage finds himself too enamored with your glorious feathers and effervescent eyes, immediately laying it on thick. He's complimenting your eyes and your smile and the way the light reflects off the apples of your cheeks.

・❥・If you dare even giggle at his honeyed words, he knows he's got you. Hook, line and Sinker. Now, Courage is more of a brawn over brains type of guy, but he's still a link. He knows how and when to go on the down-low.

・❥・And, honestly, who's better suited for you then the hero of Hyrule?

<><><><>

"Come on, Princess. I know you can do better." He knew his smirk was infuriating if your low grumbles were anything to go by. "How can you prove you want my kid if you don't work for it?"

You gave a challenging look, bounces speeding up as you leaned into his space. You gave a low trill, feathers moving in a wave of agitation as you did, teeth bared down at him . It was so cute seeing you act so aggressive. Like you would ever stand a real chance against him. It was almost daunting- how trusting you were of him. How you just believed everything he told you.

How you trusted he would ever let you out of his sight.

How you trusted he would never use whatever means necessary to get what he wants from you.

How you trusted that he wouldn't do anything to keep you tethered to him.

But he would. Because once you were tied to him, once you were his in every way- with a fat ring on your finger and your belly so swollen you couldn't see you feet- you wouldn't be able to escape. There was no where in this kingdom nor the next that he wouldn't be able to find you. Not that it would matter. Once his child was safely growing, you wouldn't be able to move fast enough to get rid of him! You would lose your, aerial advantage, your running and hiding abilities would be greatly hindered, and should push come to shove, he wasn't against using the triforce to keep you right where he wanted you.

Afterall, you wouldn't want the kingdom your child was growing up in to be destroyed...Right?

・❥・For Legend to trust you to this level, you must've met him at the beginning of his first adventure. In fact, you probably saved him when he was still young and inexperienced.

・❥・Thus proclaiming you as his most trusted companion.

・❥・After Koholint, he for sure latched onto you far more than ever before. He couldn't risk you being torn away from him too.

・❥・Because of what happened with Marin, he felt he had lost the ability to love. But you quietly and calmly reassure that he hasn't.

・❥・Thus leads to him just...knowing that you are here to stay. You won't be leaving him anytime soon. You won't ever leave him behind.

・❥・He lost his chance the first time and he absolutely refuses to lose it again.

・❥・Even if it means temporarily overriding your basic autonomy. You'll understand eventually.

<><><><>

He knew his other form sometimes bled over into his hylian one. it was something he learned to live with and, sometimes, battled with depending on his mood and the circumstance.

He was sure this was part of that.

He had heard the saying 'Fucking like rabbits' but this is just a little ridiculous. It wasn't all that unwarranted however. He needed to mark you as his. Brand you and litter you with enough hickeys and bitemarks to have even the most dense boys (Because that's all they were when compared to him) backing off.

Legend had lost too much in too short a time to take any chances. Honestly, it was a miracle that you were still here. Hylia had proven that she liked taking the most precious things in his life away from him (That fraud. Thinking she could outsmart him?! Thinking he would go down without a fight?! She had another fucking thing coming.) and you had held that title for years.

And you would. For at least a few more months. But even then, you would only have to share.

As he hoisted your legs up to your chest, folding you practically in half as he kept his rhythm steady and continuous (over and over again. Until you remembered the shape of him and only him.), he felt his lips twitch. He could see you now, cradling his and yours young. An absolutely precious little kit that would have your eyes, your perfect eyes, and maybe his nose. Who would be brought up with your gentle nature, but his intellect. Who would know no dangers of the outside world as he would destroy it to keep you two safe.

If it kept you two warm, he wouldn't hesitate to burn it all down.

・❥・Yall have been WAITING for this one.

・❥・Now, my broken little rat. He probably meets you up on the Sky islands. You probably help him get down and he just...latches onto you.

・❥・When you stick with him, even down on the ground and into the depths, he slowly learns to trust you.

・❥・If your patient with him and let him move at his own pace? You aren't leaving. He has let too many people leave and let too many people fuck him over.

・❥・He will not let you do the same. In fact, he's thinking of a million and one ways to keep you with him.

・❥・while all of the boys will think a5bout it, Sage is the only one to actually genuinely clipping your wings. You can't leave him if you can't fly, now can you? He's faster than you.

・❥・ Let's say, for the sake of it all, you happen to befall an accident that makes clipping your wings necessary. While he isn't super excited about you being injured in any capacity, he is a little grateful that he didn't have to do it.

・❥・And on the plus side, he gets to be the good guy and nurse you back to health!

・❥・Not flying health (He has no idea why your wings aren't healing like the rest of you), but healthy enough he can enact his own little plan.

<><><><>

"Shit."

His voice quivered as he bent over your own hunched form, keeping your chest pinned to the counter he had deemed acceptable. His one hand remained locked onto your hip while the other snaked up your chest to gently wrap around your throat. There was no pressure behind the action, just enough to keep you right where he wanted you.

Keep you perfectly still while he pumps you so full of cum you'll have no choice but to carry his child. You won't ever be able to leave then. No, you were kind. Too kind for his world. Too nice, too much of a beacon of pure light to ever do that. You would never deprave a child of his father, nor would you deprave a father of his young. And he knew this. If he planned on capitalizing that fact, just a little, that was no one's business but his own.

Just the thought of you carrying a child, a perfect mix of both of you-- just as much yours and they were his-- was almost enough to have him thanking Hylia for you. For putting him through everything if only to gift him with you in the end.

Almost.

"Keep going, dove. Your almost there. Soon, we'll have a family of our own."

[dangerouscommiesubversive]

and found - more outtakes

I'm in a fic-posting mood, I just put up two proper actual story things, so here I am rounding it off with some more cut content from "and found"--in this case, the scene wherein Xiangyi actually meets the Word of Honor and Lord Seventh guys. It's a good scene, and I like it a lot, but in the end it kind of slowed the story down in a bad way? Which makes it perfect for a post like this. It has an alternate opening to the section of Chapter 9 where they travel to China, Wen Kexing's pink dress ("it's just like the clothes I wore when I was young, I don't see why people have to be weird about it now"), and Zishu's ducklings.

Past the actual scene-and-a-half here there's a little bit of dialogue for the ducklings which didn't make it in even more than the scene itself, and also another goofy interview thing like there was in the first outtake post.

***

Fang Duobing's weird friends

After all of his nerves, it’s deeply funny to Xiangyi that the first thing he notices about Fang Duobing’s weird friends is the pink dress.

They get to Beijing in the middle of October, a week and a half before their lunch date, and spend most of the first few days alternating between doing every tourist thing that Xiangyi expresses even vague interest in and desperately trying to avoid Fang Duobing’s housekeeper as they have sex in basically every room of the house that isn’t the apartment where she and her family live. The one time she does catch them at it, she just rolls her eyes, but she’s in her sixties and reminds Xiangyi uncomfortably of Yuze’s mom, so it kills the mood for him anyway.

Finally, though, they’re approaching the restaurant where Fang Duobing’s friends are supposed to meet them, and when they’re about a block away Huli Jing starts yelling, which prompts someone in the outdoor seating area to spot them and start waving and swatting their table companion on the shoulder. At first Xiangyi thinks whoever it is decided to come out in full hanfu, but as he gets closer he realizes that it’s not that at all, but an ankle-length pink dress that looks like it came straight from the 1970s, with a deep v-neck and massive bell sleeves. As they approach, the person in the pink dress moves away from their table, so gracefully that they’re practically floating, and says, “Fang Xiaobao, you never visit us–you cut your hair.”

Fang Duobing laughs awkwardly. “It got to be difficult to manage with all the traveling I was doing.”

“What would your mother think–wait, is that a duckling? Do you have a duckling? Since when?”

The other person at the table rolls his eyes. “Lao Wen, that’s not a student, that’s his boyfriend.”

“Wait, is it? How do you know?”

“Because they’re holding hands.”

“But he brought his horrible gangster with him! Speaking of which, Lao Di, it’s wonderful to see you again, thank you for coming!”

Di Feisheng huffs irritably and doesn’t reply, to the man in pink’s apparent delight. Fang Duobing elbows him and murmurs, “You know he only calls you that because he likes you, right?” and gets a mouth twitch and an eye roll in response.

Meanwhile, the seated man is saying, “Well, maybe they’re both dating him, Lao Wen, you could just ask like a normal person.” Then, with a slight turn, “Hello, dog, good to see you again,” as Huli Jing snuffles at his hand.

“I’m not a normal person, I don’t see why I should act like one.”

Xiangyi is trying to figure out whether it would be offensive to start laughing at them when Fang Duobing finally steps forward and says, “Hi, Kexing, it’s good to see you too. How’s the mountain?”

More expansive gesturing, accentuated by the whirl of pink sleeves. “Awful, thank you for asking, Fang Xiaobao, this global warming thing is ridiculous. We’re considering having a walk-in freezer installed and moving our bed into it. So is that a duckling or a boyfriend? And either way, what’s his name?”

#

There's a whirlwind of introductions, in which among other things it's established that Xiangyi is perfectly capable of being two things, thank you, and by the time those are all finished Xiangyi finds himself sitting at the table between Di Feisheng and Fang Duobing's other friend, Zhou Zishu, and feeling slightly lost. He doesn't feel unwelcome, but there's a degree of connection that everyone else has by dint of being so, so old that just isn't available to him, especially given that he doesn't feel like going into the whole reincarnation issue. He almost wishes that he were at the next table over where Zishu’s students are sitting, Mingming from the letter and her large, shy girlfriend A-Qian, but then again, he’s afraid that he doesn’t have much in common with them either, and he likes being able to lean against Di Feisheng’s side a bit. And then two more people show up, other immortal friends of Kexing and Zishu but not his guys, and there are more introductions, and as one of the new guys and Di Feisheng and Zishu are dissolving into an argument about assassination methods the other new guy looks directly at Xiangyi and says, suddenly, “Can we speak privately for a few minutes?”

This is so far from what Xiangyi was expecting that it takes him a moment to reply. “...sure?”

Confused, he lets New Guy–Beiyuan, his name is Beiyuan–lead him away from the others to an unoccupied portion of the seating area, where Beiyuan stares into the air for a moment before saying, “So it’s been a very long time, unsurprisingly, but I recall reading a book when I was young that referenced a Li Xiangyi, the founder of Sigu Sect, who died approximately two hundred years before I was born. Is that you, or is it just a strange coincidence of names?”

“Uh…” Xiangyi shakes himself. “Yes and no? Like, I’m twenty-three, but I’m also him. I was him. He was him, he died, now he’s me, I’m a different guy but we’re the same guy, it’s a whole–”

“--really confusing reincarnation thing?”

“Wait, did you do the same thing?”

“No, mine’s more confusing, I reincarnated as myself. Which is to say, the exact same person that I was before, but different, because now I was me.”

Xiangyi can feel another one of those headaches coming on as he says, “What,” but it’s immediately overtaken by a surge of relief as he follows that with, “Don’t answer that, I don’t need an explanation, does this shit happen a lot?”

Beiyuan grins at him. “No, just occasionally, and it’s different every time, which makes it even more confusing.”

“I hate that.”

“So do I! Except that it let me meet Wu Xi and not get tortured to death and everything, so really it’s fine. You just looked slightly lost in a way that felt familiar, and then I heard the name and it rang a bell, and I thought maybe you’d want someone to talk to who’s dealt with similar bullshit.”

Xiangyi thought about it, nodded, and said, solemnly, “I’m going to text Yuze right now to let him know he’s been bumped to third best friend because of his lack of understanding of reincarnation bullshit.”

“Third best?”

“The dog is first. Obviously.”

“Oh, right, of course.”

“So we should probably get back to the table before someone notices we’re over here and starts–” but before Xiangyi can finish his sentence he freezes, as Beiyuan’s shirt rustles and then a beady-eyed face pokes out from his collar. “–do you have a tiny, adorable ferret in your shirt?”

Beiyuan blinks. “I guess she just woke up, she must like how you smell if she’s coming out in public like this. She’s not a ferret, she’s a sable, my husband breeds them. Her name is Arsenic.”

“Ok. Ok. Ok. Vitally important follow-up question. Can I hold her please.”

Arsenic answers this herself by climbing the rest of the way out of Beiyuan’s shirt and making a short hop onto Xiangyi’s shoulder as Beiyuan says, warily, “Please be careful, she’s venomous.”

“Lao Wen, don’t be ridiculous, I was teaching basics to my juniors when I was fourteen. Just because we’re eight hundred years old doesn’t mean everyone else is children.” Zishu glances at Xiangyi, who snaps back to the conversation with a start. “Right? Am I allowed to ask how old you are?”

They don’t get back to everyone else until several minutes later, when Kexing finally turns around to shout, “Beiyuan, if you’re trying to steal Xiaobao’s duckling at least half of the table is going to be very upset with you.”

--

(and then a bit that was theoretically going to be later in the scene)

--

“–really? But he seems like he’s so young to be teaching.”

Xiangyi blinks. “Twenty-three. Uh, mostly. It’s, it’s complicated. Anyway, I only teach little kids and teenagers, my buddy Yuze’s got most of my classes while we’re here.”

Wen Kexing nods thoughtfully. “All right, true, I’ll concede that I have a slightly skewed view of age. Your accent is interesting, where are you from?”

“Los Angeles.”

“Los–where’s that, A-Xu, I forget that one.”

“The USA?” At Wen Kexing’s still-slightly-blank look, Xiangyi frowns a bit, struggling for further distinctions. “West coast of North America, across the ocean to the east of here.”

***

ducklings

Xiangyi grins. "That's great, though! So how'd you two meet?"

Mingming glances at A-Qian and takes a long sip of iced coffee before saying, "She's attracted to violent women."

A-Qian laughs. "I mean, sort of? We met when I was going to university, she was already studying with shizun, she's been living with them since she was little. Anyway, I'd gone out to lunch so I could work on a paper, it was at an outdoor cafe a lot like this one, and there was this big fuss, and I look up and see the most beautiful woman on Earth completely wrecking a couple of guys who were half a meter taller than she was."

"They were being creepy at a street musician." Mingming makes a face and has another sip of coffee. "You shouldn't talk to girls that way. And they weren't that much bigger than me, come on. Anyway, I finish that up, I turn around to grab my bag that I'd dropped, and there's this--she looked really different at the time."

"You can say, it's fine--this was pre-HRT, and I had a really bad haircut."

"Yeah, and she was just staring at me, and I was already a little bit pissed off, so I said, 'do you have a problem with me?' and she said--"

"Can I buy you lunch?"

"And we've been together for six years now."

***

“Ok, so, we talked about tech, so now we’ve gotta talk about art, what's your favorite artist or piece of art from…I guess past the end of your original human lifespan?”

Fang Duobing: “Oh, I think Godzilla. The character, not just the original movie, although the original movie is very good.” (“You…can’t watch Godzilla movies, though?”) “I can watch Godzilla movies, I just have to be in the right mood for them.” (“...which is?”) “Well, I suppose you or A-Fei would also need to be in the right mood to put up with me intermittently crying for about an hour and a half.”

Di Feisheng: “I like Miike Takashi movies.” (“Ooh, which one's your favorite? Is it Ichi the Killer?”) “Diamonds Are Unbreakable was good.” (long pause, followed by unholy screech from Xiangyi)

Wen Kexing: “Oh! Good question! Taylor Swift. I love Taylor Swift.” (“Don't get him fucking started on Taylor Swift.”) “Hush, A-Xu, she's so cute, and as your insane wife I think I have a right to enjoy the work of someone else's insane wife. Especially ‘Blank Space,’ that's my favorite.” (“I could have made her into an amazing assassin.”) “Right, there's also that, she's got those big soulless eyes, I could have introduced her to Xie Wang.” (Xiangyi: “I’m sorry, you knew someone called the Scorpion Prince?”) “Well, I think legally his name was Zhao Xie’er, but most people addressed him as Xie Wang, yes. Anyway, I would have loved to introduce him to Taylor, I think they’d deserve each other.”

Zhou Zishu: “I like comics.” (“...any specific comics?”) “The Adventures of Tin-Tin.”

Jing Beiyuan: “I enjoyed reading Journey to the West when it was first published.” (“Wait, it wasn't…already out when you were alive?”) “No, that was Ming Dynasty, we predate that. Don Quixote was published not long after, that was also very fun. And I enjoy Doctor Who, the Seventh Doctor especially.”

Wu Xi: *has not put down his copy of The Three-Body Problem* “What was the question?” (“He reads a lot of science fiction. He also really enjoyed that novel Guardian, they made it into a TV show a few years ago?”)

Orlando: “I’ve enjoyed watching the development of romantic comedy as a genre, it's fascinating sometimes how little it's changed from when I was growing up.” (“What was your favorite from then?”) “Twelfth Night. I saw a number of Shakespeare's plays performed, but that one I liked best.” (“Ok, so what do you think holds up best against that from more recent centuries?”) “Oh, there was that one film with Ewan McGregor…right, yes, Down With Love. I enjoyed that one.”

Kenzaki Kazuma: “I haven't passed a normal human lifespan yet, ask me again in two hundred years if the world hasn't ended by then.”

Kurenai Gai: “I’m not sure you realize how long I’ve lived, it's kind of hard to pick one thing.” (“Come on, man, just give it a shot?”)

Hob Gadling: “Impossible to pick, there's been a lot of good art since I was first around. Honestly I just like that there’re cheap paperbacks now, it's so much easier to get a book to read at all.”

Wen Ning: “Oh, I really liked Land of the Dead, the George Romero movie? Train to Busan was also really good. Um, Shaun of the Dead was great…I like zombie movies.” (“Wait, seriously?”) “Well, they're always having a much worse time then I ever did, and a lot of them are very funny.”

Song Lan: [ i read a lot of webnovels. very much enjoyed omniscient reader’s viewpoint. young writers these days are incredibly creative. ]

[loquaciousquark]

So I stayed up ungodly late last night playing through the Cazador quest/conclusion (?) of the Astarion romance and I have a lot of thoughts!

Overall, I LOVED it. Absolutely loved it. I love how much he has to say about the mansion, I love the design and weirdly oppressive layout of the space, the sinister door, the annoying button/attic puzzle, his relationship with Go...dey? The bone man! When I saw that room was called the kennel I literally said "oh no" out loud.

The one thing I'm mad at myself about is that I didn't understand how to actually get into the stupid palace to start the quest! I couldn't get up that dirt incline right next to the map marker so I thought I had to get into the upper city via Baldur's Gate on the left--that the palace was in the next area altogether--so I've been dithering about with murderers and Lae'zel getting kidnapped (D:! she's safe now though) and hag children and a million other things WHEN I COULD HAVE BEEN KILLING CAZADOR THIS WHOLE TIME. Harrumph.

Anyway, once I actually made it into the darned palace, I didn't have any trouble at all with the fights until I got to Cazador himself. I did think the ritual skull on the pillow was a nice touch, and I loved the confrontation with Sebastian in the cell, just in case the PC has any doubt left about how sane/human these spawn still are. Seven thousand souls! That's so many!! Seven is a lot, but seven thousand, yikes! There was also one room with some levers at the end of the tedious attic puzzle that appeared to have no purpose; I guess it was unfinished from the design stage, as dozens of Reddit threads/forum posts all agree there's no clear puzzle solution or interactable element. Really, the first design misstep I've seen from the game, and even that was pretty minor!

Then came the confrontation with Cazador, and for all I didn't even get touched in the werewolf fight earlier this fight WRECKED me. I didn't understand the mechanic and got everyone sacrificed for the ritual the first time (was focusing on the adds first), and then the second time I checked the journal and it said "Help Astarion" and so I wasted two turns getting to him only to discover they meant "help Astarion by killing Cazador," not "free Astarion with the Help action" because that sure didn't work, so he got sacrificed again! Then the third time I focused Cazador better until he Called Lightning on Shadowheart and Karlach and killed them both, and then I finally scraped it out on the fourth try. A really, really tough fight! If I didn't have the six summoned ghouls from the Thay book I don't know if I could have done it with this party.

The choices available afterwards are FASCINATING. I played through them all again, and I loved that in every version he absolutely butchers that vamp with as much violent stabbing as I've seen in a video game. And that little flip of the knife to the reverse grip! So deft! He's a rogue! It's like there's thought and care behind these animations!! Incredible! The choices where you don't help him are absolutely awful--the enraged venom in "I'd say good luck out there, but honestly, I hope you die screaming"--and the flat "Your companion has permanently left the party" made my stomach clench. The version where you help him ascend is also horrifying; are there many other quests where both companions are like, "this is a HORRIBLE IDEA, don't do this!!"? And afterwards Karlach said something about "all those souls..." and she looked like she was about to cry, which was the second worst thing in the world aside from the time I had to break up with her because I didn't realize we were dating. Everything is red and evil and we get nice close-up views of the spawn in agony and bursting and then Astarion's eyes glow red as sin forever. I did really like the explicit confirmation that the infected can use the parasites to see out of each other's eyes; that's given me a couple fic ideas already!

I will say the scene of him crying & screaming was unspeakably cathartic and I was yelling at the screen to let me hug him. YELLING. Thank God I live alone! Again, the tenor differences between this scene in the "insight/persuade him to be better than Cazador" track vs. the "flatly deny to help him" track were shocking. I can't believe how different the exact same animation set felt between the two versions! Unbearable relief & grief vs. total impotent despair--no wonder he tries to kill you in a few of the bad endings (on top of deciding on his own to snap the staff & trap the spawn forever).

Regardless, once the ritual was disrupted and the spawn were saved and freed and Cazador was a lolling pincushion, I couldn't figure out how to trigger the follow-up scene I KNEW had to be there, even though I'd already done Shadowheart's personal quest & should have known I needed to long-rest, lmao. I wandered around like a dope for several minutes before finally triggering it.

I really, really liked this romance scene a lot. I liked that there isn't even an option to break up at this point; just like ME3, the romance is locked in and you can just play around inside that structure, which I thought was fantastic! I am sad that it opened with what I expected, which is him resigning himself to eventually being trapped in the darkness & never seeing sunlight again, and the fact that the game let you pick "maybe we'll figure something out with the tadpoles" only for Astarion to express doubt does make me worried for long-term outcomes. My favorite options once you get to the graveyard were to just stay back and let him talk, but I'm honestly really delighted that we got this scene of pretty significant emotional closure for him, and I loved the animation of him carving the year into the headstone. It seemed so immersive & real that even though we can't read the text, we know exactly what he did.

The only incredibly, incredibly, INCREDIBLY minor things I didn't adore about this scene are that first, when he tells you he loves you, his head animation is weirdly still/frozen the whole time on that set of lines despite his expression changing, and it honestly broke my immersion a little bit. The ambient movements of the characters have been so realistic for so many dozens of hours that to have this seriously critical and important moment for the character be almost rigid, especially against a completely silent music-less background, made it stick out as an "oh yeah, this is a video game" reminder. Bummer!

The other thing is that it's icky to have sex in a graveyard, lmao. Tavish doesn't really care because it's just dirt under them--he's literally standing in front of her, so as far as she's concerned it's not that different from the forest--but I did grimace a little. Someone give these dingdongs a bed! or at least a roof!

Anyway! A fantastic romance and super strong writing/consistent characterization throughout, and I'm pumped to see where it's going to go next. I'm still so curious about how the tadpole outcomes will affect things and faintly hoping for a deus ex machina to keep him in the sun, though I suppose that's what fic's for. Regardless, full sign-off on an utterly satisfying romance; so many little things dropped throughout were EXACTLY what I wanted--you can even accuse him of sincerity in the graveyard scene, which is precisely the arc I was hoping he'd have! He didn't even like you in the beginning and now we're smooching next to a bunch of dead people. What isn't romantic about that?

10/10 Larian, thanks for making me a mess for another white-haired grump.

[cringecompanionapologist]

Some Interesting Stuff About the Development of Turlough

I was seriously tempted to call this post "Vis-lore Turlough". I am so fucking normal.

Anyway, I found a website via the TARDIS wiki that goes into detail about the concepts behind and making of Doctor Who episodes. For Mawdryn Undead, this means a discussion of how the character of Turlough was developed.

It started with JNT and Adric not going according to his vision. He was supposed to be a companion you couldn't quite trust, but that didn't really work with him, so it was decided that they'd try the idea again.

Honestly, the "untrustworthy" thing didn't work with Adric because of his age. He had an innocent vibe to him and tended to work best when the fact that he was just a kid trying his best was emphasized.

He'd often sort of go rogue, trying to save the day in his own way, often with some lying and stealing involved, but this seemed to confuse people. Adric became infamous for taking the villain's side, something he only did once. He pretended to take the villain's side in two other stories, but it was a fake-out. In Kinda, since the villain he pretends to side with is obviously insane, the fake-out is also quite obvious. I've seen reviews of State of Decay that don't seem to understand that Adric was supposed to be faking, however. There was also Castrovalva, where Adric was forced to work with the Master, and there's a scene or two where he pretends to cooperate willingly, but it doesn't last very long and it's always clearly a fake-out. Honestly, Adric is actually a pretty bad liar. I'm not sure if he was supposed to come across that way, but it's what we got.

Turlough was an attempt to start over and try the idea again, but with a clear story arc behind it that would make the writers keep that element consistent. Notably, for a character meant as a replacement for Adric, and a character who'd later be introduced as a schoolboy, the original plan for Turlough doesn't seem to specify his age. He's an alien working for the Black Guardian.

Unlike Adric, Turlough wasn't really meant to be a teenager. He originally wasn't going to be introduced as a schoolboy at all. The planned third story of season 20, where he'd be introduced, was The Song of the Space Whale, but the story fell through, eventually ending up as a Lost Story audio with 6 and Peri.

Since this was a last minute change, Turlough wasn't actually aged down. According to Mark Strickson, Turlough is supposed to look like he doesn't belong in the setting, and one of the ways he doesn't belong is by being obviously too old. It's never directly explained to the audience that Turlough is older than he was pretending to be, though it is implied. When given Adric's old room, he complains about it looking like a child's room, because he's had enough of children. So, the clearest answer we get to Turlough's age is "older than Adric".

Having Turlough be a bit older makes the more morally ambiguous part of his character seem more convincing. He's also given a more clear motivation for it. Adric had kinda sorta been an outsider on his homeworld who learned to steal things, but he stole because his big brother did. Adric sort of latched on to any role model he found, so simply traveling with the Doctor would change his moral attitudes to better match him. He's still young enough that his worldview is shaped by adults. Turlough is old enough that, even if he respects and admires someone, he's developed his own view of the universe through his own experiences with it.

Another reoccurring point in Mark Strickson interviews is that he wanted Turlough to be more independent than most companions. He's from an advanced civilization, so he knows how all the tech works. He's familiar with alien species. He doesn't need the Doctor to explain everything to him. But, the show kind of forced the companions into a simplistic role. JNT believed that at the end of the day, the companions were there to ask "what's happening, Doctor?" even in situations where they should definitely already know. They had to stand in for not only an audience of ordinary humans, but an audience primarily of children, so even things that a regular human adult could figure out would sometimes have to be spelled out to them.

Janet Fielding also had a problem with this for feminist reasons. Tegan wasn't supposed to be stupid. This led to a period of time where everyone was going rogue. You had two actors playing their companions as intelligent, independent adults when the script needed the opposite.

I'm calling attention to this because I think it's interesting that this was happening with Five's companions specifically. Five's main fandom characterization is as a dad with all these adopted queer youths. Five does often act like that, but it would be interesting to really look at that in the context of companions that probably wouldn't want to be treated that way. Adric and Nyssa were both introduced as teenagers, though Nyssa seemed to grow up over time. They sort of were his adopted children.

But, Tegan and Turlough enter the TARDIS as adults. The actors' frustrations could actually fit in-character. Tegan feels like she's being talked down to because she's a woman and Turlough had to pass himself off as a schoolboy but is sick of it. Why he doesn't change out of his damn uniform makes no sense with this in-universe. Out of universe, 80s Doctor Who characters were often given limited selections of outfits so they'd be more recognizable. In Turlough's case, he was dressed in black to contrast with the Doctor's white and beige and Tegan's more bold colors. It represented the personality of each character: The Doctor is mild-mannered, Tegan is bold and tends to stand out, Turlough is somber and cynical.

So, over time, Five's companions grow up. Nyssa is with him long enough that she literally comes of age while traveling with him. With Adric and Nyssa gone, we're left with Tegan and Turlough as two adult companions. Five spent years alone with Nyssa, basically acting as her adoptive father, raising her to adulthood, when she decides to leave home. He's not sure how to relate to his companions as adults. They haven't been in quite a while.

In comparing 5's companions to older companions, Adric and Nyssa are more like Susan or Zoe, very smart, but still kids. Tegan is more like Sarah Jane, limited in scientific knowledge by being a 20th century woman, but still clever and not fond of being talked down to. Turlough is more like Romana, another intelligent alien that the Doctor could communicate with as an equal. At least, that's how I would've thought of it if I'd been given these characters

This has devolved into rambling now. I just wanted to analyze 5's companions and "dad" status. I've run out of things to say.

[mike-wachowski]

I have to ask #29 Thanks in advance!

29: Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

YEAHHHHHH HAHA THANKS INKYDROPIES

okay i have genuinely so many oneshot wips i could choose from to post for this but i think im going to choose an old fic i was working on- its a tumblr mutals fic lol, where lena and kara are both in the same fandom for the tv show "morgana", kara writes fic, and lena is her beta reader. the "morgana" show was going to be loosely inspired by jazzfordshire's morgana/red daughter au fics, and i actually got her permission to slip some references in there lol.

anyways, i think if i never end up going back to this i might cannabalize it for another fandom (maybe imodna? im still unsure) but without further adieu- the first part of the wip

The straps of leather between Morgana’s fingertips were rough with use and wear. Toying with them gently was as easy as toying with the woman beneath the form fitting armor, yet it proved itself quickly to be only half as fun. As Morgana trailed a finger down one of the straps of the chest harness, dragging slowly, she heard a soft intake of breath from her companion. 

“Do not tease,” El whispered, but her command held none of the bite Morgana so dearly craved to hear from the accented woman— truly, it bore the opposite: she heard only thick, unadulterated affection. El’s eyes flickered and shone ice-blue in the firelight of their shared hearth, and Morgana found herself drawing from all the power within her to stop herself from lunging forward and ravishing the woman’s lips. She wanted to be ever closer to El, bound hand and waist, palm and throat, lip and lip. She wanted to hear that rough voice, usually restrained by her knight’s mysterious stoicism, begging and crying out for her. She wanted to hear her say it— say the words Morgana hungered to hear-

“Kara. Earth to Kara.” 

The hands flying across her laptop keyboard freeze. Kara glances up from her desk. 

Winn Schott is staring at her over a dusty CatCo monitor. His eyes are wide, frantically oscillating between her and the door. “Ms. Grant just walked in,” he hisses. 

“Oh, shit.” Kara slams her laptop shut, grabbing her phone. She quickly slides it open to her mail app, scanning through all her recent messages— “Winn, did you forward me that message from IT?” 

“Already sent,” he nods, glancing up at her from his dual monitors. “And you have something on your shirt.” 

“Oh, darn it—” Kara glances down at her white oxford, sees the tan stain present beneath her chest pocket, and scowls. Stupid National City streets making the bus rides so bumpy. She didn’t even notice she spilled coffee over herself. 

Kara wrestles her blazer out of her bag, throwing it on top of her shirt and hoping for the best. She about faces, turning towards the door’s to Cat’s office, and, taking an exaggerated breath, steals herself for her first, and worst, interaction with Cat of the day. 

She pushes open the door. Cat Grant sits, regal, ruling the room from her ergonomic office chair. She types idly away at her laptop with one hand, and scrolls through her carefully curated morning news feed with her other. 

“You’re late,” she says to Kara, without looking up, even though Kara technically arrived to work before her. “I’ve been sitting here, waiting, for six minutes,” she continues, which, objectively, is true. 

 “Sorry, Ms. Grant,” Kara mumbles, pulling out her phone and clicking open her document with all of Cat’s itinerary for the day. 

Cat Grant starts speaking, then, and Kara tries to focus on her boss’s words, but her mind, as usual, wanders. She had been in such a groove on what she was writing, had finally broken through the haze of writer’s block she had been experiencing for nearly a week. And right as she’s about to round out the denouement of this fic, just in time for the end of the week, she has to be interrupted by her job. 

It’s really her fault, she knows. She should try to keep her home life and work life a little more separate— but the newest episode of Morgana dropped last night, and Kara had been filled with such inspiration for a scene in her current fic she spent nearly the entire bus ride here and the rest of the morning working through it. She’s nearly done too, she just has to send it off to—

Kara’s phone buzzes, perfectly timed, and she knows exactly who it is without even checking. 

Kara slides past her lockscreen and taps open the tumblr app. There waiting for her, past a wall of messages and notes, is a message from the one person she’s been hoping to hear from most all morning—the only person who could maybe help her turn this terrible morning around.

[] morgana-with-a-gun

read through what you added to the google doc last night. left some notes. its looking pretty good. 

Kara practically swoons.

[theavengerfairy]

Voltron: A Royal Pain - First Contact (Pt. 1)

Eerie silence blanketed the room as Lotor's eyes swept over report after report, each one strikingly similar to the next. Over and over, he was regaled with the tale of a Galra ship or base that had been completely ransacked, stripped bare of anything of value. If any trace of the assailants was left at all, it came in the form of the cold corpses of the soldiers assigned to the scene of the crime, and in the rare instance where any survivors were discovered, they could not recall even the flicker of a suspicious shadow passing through their peripheral. Each assault bore the indicative marks of careful calculation and execution to ensure both efficiency and stealth, a stark contrast to the usual bravado that characterized the work of the meddlesome paladins of Voltron. The cutthroat nature of the attacks seemed a bit more indicative of the Blade of Marmora, but their swift and sporadic nature conflicted with the usual time frame for the Blade's more drawn-out operations. The most likely remaining possibility then was that this crusade was the work of some other independent rebel group, but once again their attack patterns differed from any of the factions already known to the Empire. In other words, they were dealing with a deck of wildcards and a particularly troublesome set at that.

As his eyes scanned over the final lines of the last report, the prince finally broke the silence, "Why are these incidents only just now being brought to my attention?"

His four generals, all of whom had been lurking dutifully nearby in tense silence, shared a glance save for Narti as a silent dialogue seemed to pass between them.

"The commanders in charge of those stations claimed that they felt it...unnecessary to trouble you with the 'lucky breaks of a few, meager rebels.'" Acxa eventually piped up, her expression solemn as usual as she stepped forward.

Scoffing loudly, Zethrid rolled her eyes with her beefy arms folded over her chest. "Oh please, we all know the real reason they didn't say anything. They care more about their stupid bruised egos than getting things done."

"Whatever the case may be," Lotor remarked while rising to his feet and turning to face his companions, "these 'meager rebels' have now evolved into an actual problem. Though the threat they pose pales significantly to that of Voltron or the Blade of Marmora, their frequent interferences are a hindrance to the Empire nonetheless."

"Please, allow us to take care of this." Acxa pleaded whilst stooping into an obeisant bow, her eyes affixed to the floor as she spoke. "We shall snuff out these miscreants before they can cause any further inconvenience. Pestilence such as this is hardly deserving of your direct interference."

"Perhaps not..." Lotor hummed thoughtfully before his lips twisted upwards into a broad, somewhat sinister smirk, "...but that doesn't mean it won't be fun to toy with them anyways."

That tone. Acxa knew that tone, and before she had even raised her gaze to the prince's face, she already knew he would have that telltale gleam in his eyes. Over the years, she had learned that the simultaneous presence of those two signs always meant one thing: Lotor was scheming.

"Acxa, Ezor, I want you to gather and analyze all the information you can about the targets from each incident; look for any commonalities that we could use to predict where these rebels might strike next. Zethrid, Narti, I need you to scrounge up some armor for me. The gear for a foot soldier should suffice; just make sure it has a helmet with an intact visor."

Zethrid's brow furrowed, her mind already starting to map out connections between the requests. "You're gonna go undercover? Why? Just go in and take them down!"

"Your directness is admirable, Zethrid. However, the Emperor Pro Tem himself overseeing a basic shipment or visiting a minor outpost out of the blue is sure to cause some chatter, chatter that will surely make its way to the ears of these rebels and influence their actions. I want them to play themselves right into my hand without even realizing what they've done until it's too late."

At her leader's explanation, all doubt swiftly vanished from Zethrid's expression, her face now gleaming with a mixture of pride and ferocity. "Understood."

Though the other three generals spun on their heels and headed for the door without any further questions, Acxa remained rooted to her spot, earning herself a question glance from Ezor.

"I'll be right behind you."

"You better be. I'm not doing all this research by myself."

Once the others had vacated the room, Acxa quietly waited a few seconds to ensure that they were out of earshot before turning her attention back to Lotor, who was watching her with a hint of amusement.

"What are you actually planning?"

Lotor couldn't help but chuckle before beckoning his general to his side. As she approached, he pivoted and shifted his gaze to the large window in the nearest wall, peering out at the vast expanse of stars that twinkled with potential and mystery.

"Tell me, Acxa, to whom are the Galra most loyal? To whom are the witch and her underlings most loyal?"

"...Zarkon, my prince."

"Precisely. Save for Zethrid, Ezor, Narti, and yourself, I have no men I can truly call my own, no soldiers who would follow my orders without question if it seems to contradict Zarkon's plan even slightly. Then of course, there is the witch who has her eyes and ears everywhere, ensuring that nothing transpires without her knowledge and consent. I need a force that follows my orders alone, a force beyond the influence of Zarkon or his witch."

It was a practical strategy, and yet Acxa couldn't deny the pain that bloomed in her chest at his words. Almost as if reading her thoughts, Lotor continued, his tone just a hint gentler now.

"This is not because you have failed me, Acxa. If anything, this is to protect you. There are pieces in this game that I need moved by invisible hands. If you and the others start to disappear more frequently in tandem with mysterious events taking place within the empire, it will not take long for Haggar to set her sights upon you all. I will not put you in such a position if I can help it."

In an instant, the aching inside Acxa vanished as swiftly as it had manifested, a hint of a smile gracing her lips in its wake. "Your consideration is greatly appreciated, my prince. If I may ask-"

"How do I plan to get a group of rebels to submit to my will?" Lotor interjected, glancing back at her as that dangerous glow continued to blaze bright in his eyes. "Well, that depends on what we learn from our little investigation. Know this though, Acxa: my offer will be one that they cannot resist."

[notsocheezy]

Brain Curd #283

Brain Curds are lightly edited daily writing - usually flash fiction and sometimes terrible on purpose.

Thanks for letting us be frank with you. Read the rest of The Frank Program here on Tumblr!

“Welcome back to The Frank Program. I'm your host, Daryl, and today we're going to be frank with you. We’ve got Big Mike handling all the sliders and knobs…”

A heavily compressed, gravelly voice interrupted. “I would have thought you were the one handling ‘knobs’, son! Ha ha ha!”

“... and we have Frank here calling in from California. How’s the weather?”

“Colder than I’d’a expected. I’m bundled up here in my room.”

“That’s great. We’ve also got today’s guest. Would you like to introduce yourself to the audience?”

“Hm…” The guest pondered. “No.”

“That’s fine, I’ll be happy to. Mike, can you up the gain on his input?”

“Sure thing,” Mike replied. “I wouldn’t want to get on your bad side…”

“Thanks. Today’s guest is a longtime favorite of mine. You know him as the host of both Backstab Pantry and Stainless Steal, but to me he’ll always be the face of Chemistry Kitchen. Welcome to the show, Mr. Adam Braun!”

“Thank you, thank you,” Braun bowed. “I just hate to toot my own horn. Much better if you do it.”

“Ha!” Frank chuckled. “He loves tooting horns!”

Mike frowned. “Frankie, can you shut the hell up?”

Daryl’s face remained as still as stone. “Mr. Braun -”

“Call me Adam.”

“Adam, today’s episode is going to release on Christmas day, so I’d like to get the obvious question out of the way first: What tips do you have for our listeners at home who put on this podcast while they prepare dinner?”

“I’d probably tell your listeners that if they want to hear my opinion, they should try watching any number of Christmas themed episodes of Chemistry Kitchen or reading one of the companion cookbooks. However, when the question of safety is at hand, I’m happy to give away free advice to anyone who asks: have a fire extinguisher handy always. Not just for your bird, or roast, or hunk of porky goodness - God forbid - but also all those gosh-darn cheap lights strewn about the house. Electrical fires are no joke. Overcooked poultry is no picnic, but a house fire is a tragedy.”

“Yeesh.” Frank yawned. “This guy sounds like he wears a bowtie.”

Daryl reached around to the mixing board and muted Frank. “Sorry about him.”

“Is that the original host of this show?”

“That’s right.”

“I’ve heard rumors that he was a real piece of work. I guess they were right.”

“Hey,” Mike chimed in. “You know, Frank might not be the best host of all time or anything, but he built this podcast up from nothing. You gotta hand it to him for that. People like hearing what he’s got to say.”

“Mike,” Daryl glared at him. “Let’s not argue with our guest.”

“It’s Christmas, Daryl. You’re not gonna defend your dad?”

“There’s nothing to defend. Anyway, Adam, your fans all know you got your start in the production side of things, working behind the camera rather than in front of it. How much behind the scenes work did you continue doing as the series grew into itself?”

“That’s a good question. At first, it was a real rinky-dink operation. Just me and a couple other guys filming in our producer’s home kitchen. Back then, I developed all the recipes myself. But as the scale of our little show - including its budget and marketing - grew past my own limits, I started putting together a team. I’d say it was seventy-thirty how much I did per episode by then, much like the muscle-to-fat ratio of a good burger - and I was the fat. By the end of the show, the final season, I was so busy with other responsibilities that I was mostly just a host. But the team was solid. Their work was unmatched in quality.”

“Any chance of a comeback?”

“I’ll never say never, but I’m getting old. I come up with little ideas and put them out on my YouTube channel now and then, but you can consider me happily retired.”

“Psst… hey…” Mike tapped Daryl’s shoulder. “Your dad is pissed that you muted him.”

“Too bad.”

“He said it’s his show and he can kick you out if he’s not happy.”

“Ugh. Fine. Unmute him, then.”

Mike clicked the button and Frank’s voice began piping into everyone’s headphones again.

“... and another thing, where does this boy get off tellin’ m​e to shut my mouth? I wouldn’t even be here if he knew how to mind his damn business! ‘Merry Christmas!’ Whole lotta Merry Christmas around here, in the damn institution y’all threw me in! I don’t like lookin’ out at the ocean! It’s too damn big! And I…” Frank continued talking, rambling, complaining - whatever you want to call it.

Daryl covered his face.

Adam adjusted his bowtie. “I think I should get going.”

“Yeah, I can understand that.” Daryl leaned on his elbow, little life left in his eyes.

Frank’s diatribe was in one ear and out the other, but it banged pots and pans on the way through.

“This has been The Frank Program…”

“... ending the darn show while I’m talking! Who do you think you are?!? You little…”

“Thanks for letting us be frank with you. Merry Christmas.”

Please comment, reblog, like, and follow if you enjoyed - I'd love to know what you think! See you again tomorrow.

[laurasimonsdaughter]

The movie nights, Yule decided, were genuinely nice. Yes, it was absolutely ridiculous that she was forced to sit in between Ev and Chris every time. Especially since Chris was now constantly a pile of blankets and hot water bottles, basking in the rediscovery of warmth, which he wouldn’t have to do if he had sat next to Ev, who was an absolute furnace. 

But of course he couldn’t possibly do that, because there were only three days left until full moon, which meant Ev was already so hairy and uncomfortable when fully clothed that they had stripped down to their shorts and sports bra as soon as they got home. It was a wonder Chris hadn’t fully left the room yet just to prevent himself from accidentally looking at their midriff. One day, Yule thought, she was going to snap and forbid him to spend so much time with vampires from the 1940s.

But right now his eyes were glued to the action on the TV screen and Ev was lounging comfortably, both of them at least temporarily relaxed on either side of her. And that was really very nice. 

“You know what,” Yule said, handing Ev the bowl of crisps and bumping companionably against Chris’s drawn up knee. “I think movie nights should be on the list of house rules. Movie nights every Friday, to improve human-vampire-werewolf relations.”

“I’m game,” Ev grinned, teeth glinting and Chris made a pleased sound from inside his cocoon.

Wonderful. Surely they’d start actually hanging out and talking to each other eventually. Yule sat up, reaching for her soda. “Speaking of house rules,” she remembered. “Stop stealing my foundation, Chris. I can get you your own. Mine's too dark for you anyway. You ought to have one closer to your current skin tone.”

“I can't even see my skin without make-up!” Chris protested.

“I know that,” Yule said fondly. She knew that was why he wore it, to be able to see himself in the mirror every once in a while. “But I can. I‘ll help you choose something you like. Maybe two shades lighter, I think.”

“More olive though.”

“Hm?” Yule turned to look at Ev, and so, amazingly, did Chris.

“Not just lighter,” they said intently, gesturing at his face. “There’s a more olive tint to...Chris’...complexion...” Ev's voice inexplicably trailed off to mumbling silence rather suddenly and their gaze dropped to the floor.

Yule looked thoughtfully at Chris, too distracted to notice the calamity unfolding on her couch. “Yeah I think you’re right! An olive tone would look very good.” 

She tried to give him another encouraging smile, but he was still looking at Ev, with rather wide, startled eyes. And Ev's cheeks had gone worryingly pink under their stubble.

The horror of it all hit Yule just a bit too late. “Oh dear,” she said loudly. “I’ve completely missed where this scene was going. Chris, where were we?”

“What?” Chris stammered distractedly. He looked as close to flustered as a cold, bloodless vampire could possibly get. 

She could just tell them. She could just turn off the TV, and tell them, and leave them alone in here. Possibly lock all doors and windows and tell them she’d be back when they had sorted their shit out. Tomek would probably let her crash on his couch, especially if she repaid him with more gossip. 

Yule took a deep breath. “Where were we in the movie? Two minutes back?”

“Uh, sure.” 

“You’ve got the remote, hun.”

“Oh, yes.” Chris hastily grabbed for the remote, one pale arm reaching out of the tangle of blankets.

On the other side of the couch Ev had pretty much curled up into a ball, their limbs folded at odd, inhuman angles to make up for the lack of a tail to hide their face behind. Yule could feel the flustered heat of embarrassment radiate off them as clearly as if she was sitting next to a damn campfire. 

The movie resumed and Yule sat, looking at the screen without seeing it, flanked by two friends doing exactly the same. They were both frozen in place, acting as if they would bloody combust as soon as they’d look at each other, and neither of them was doing anything about it. And neither was she, because Yule was genuinely afraid which words would come out of her mouth if she dared to open it right now.

She made it five whole minutes before she took out her phone and began frantically texting Tomek. 

He was not at all sympathetic, and she spitefully resolved to bring a chocolate covered coffee bean for his familiar the next time she came over.

[Read ‘And they were flatmates’ chronologically on AO3]

[therandosfandos]

Sum: Based off of the deleted scene from "The Six Million Dollar Mon"

After Roberto demonstrates on Bender, after it's all over, Fry is worried and needs to get his robot repaired, but it's so bad that he'll only allow his orange head meatbag to touch him and no one else

@frenderbender09 @euforimorily

With it all over, the human ran to Benders side. The robot looked terrible. His whole metal body skinned of the outer shell which revealed vulnerable wires, gears, parts and Benders endoskeleton. The robot was tossed on the ground. His arms and legs lankily dangling from their connected joints. Static came from his voice box which was sparking out electricity from the seams.

"F4y!?!!?...", Bender can't speak properly. Fry watches his robot boyfriend tried to move but only fell backwards. The redhead frowned, more concern falling over him.

Fry's heart ached at the sight of his lover in distress. Ignoring the pain in his own hands, he attempted to lift Bender from the ground. But the searing pain from the exposed wires and jagged edges made Bender's metallic body too hot to handle.

"Ouch! Hot, hot, hot!" Fry yelped, he could hear Bender hissing in glitchy pain too, the human wondered how he'd do this. Recoiling as he singed his hands. Bender had a sad look in his optics. Like he felt guilty for hurting his human. It wasn't Bender's fault. Fry shushes him. Determination flashed in his eyes as he took off his red jacket.

He could see panic in those yellow bulbs instantly. Like he was afraid of the red. The robot whimpered and backed up, letting out squeaks one would hear from a car radio when you're in a underwater tunnel. Fry hesitates, he doesn't do anything yet. "It's okay...it's just my jacket, buddy..", he assured the little bot. The robot hesitantly reaches out, wincing, until he felt it.

The soft fabric. Not metal. Cloth. Not the insane killer who hurt him.

Fry smiles gently and he started to hastily wrap it around Bender's battered form. "Oh baby...sorry I didn't interfere...", he mumbles. Bender can't speak back, so he only looks at the ground. He wanted to reassure his meaty boyfriend, to tell him that he couldn't interrupt what happened to him due to the other manbot being a crazed killer. He just nuzzled his visor into Frys jacket.

With newfound caution, Fry carefully lifted Bender, cradling him in his arms. Bender winced in pain, Fry nodded, determination replacing fear. "We'll get you fixed up, Bender. Just hang in there."

Bender shook his head. Then he carefully and weakly points at Fry. It's as if he was saying he only wanted the human to fix him. No one else.

Fry seems surprised, "Bender...I...thought you didn't trust me, you always think I'm gonna break you, baby...", and it was honestly rightful to think such a thing. Fry was clumsy and didn't know what he was doing. It didn't mean he wouldn't try his best though.

The journey through the desolate and dark laboratory was slow and arduous. Fry's steps were measured, each movement calculated to minimize the pain for his wounded companion. The jacket cocoon protected Bender from further harm, but the reality of the situation weighed heavily on Fry's shoulders. The professor and the crew weren't here anyways. It was all up to the redhead.

Bender's optics dimmed as he fought to stay conscious, the agony threatening to drag him into a mechanical abyss. His usual snarky remarks were replaced by ragged breaths and muffled whimpers. Fry, feeling the weight of his friend's suffering, pressed on with determination etched on his face. The human hated that his lover went through such a thing. His baby.

Once they reached a near workbench, Fry gently laid Bender on it. The metallic echoes of Bender's cries filled the room. Fry surveyed the damage, his heart sinking at the sight of his friend in such disrepair. Bender's voice box emitted distorted sounds, the once smooth voice now a cacophony of broken tones.

Fry fumbled through the toolbox, gathering tools he hoped would be sufficient for the impromptu repair job. The room was filled with tension as Fry delicately began his work. He could feel Bender's eyes on him, a mix of pain and trust lingering in the air. Bender knew Fry loved him. Fry wouldn't try to break him. He knew it. However, he still cracked one optic open to keep check on his meatbag. Just in case.

As Fry worked, Bender's sobs began to subside. The pain still lingered, but a newfound trust blossomed between man and machine. Bender watched Fry with a mix of vulnerability and gratitude. It wasn't just about physical repairs; it was about the emotional mending between the two robsexuals. Fry started with Benders voice box, carefully rewiring it so the bot could speak again. He cringed each time the bot made a screech. "I know, I know, it hurts waffle...but it'll make it all better...I promise...", Fry says gently.

He then went ahead and started to fix his lovers leg tubes and arms, straightening them back out so it all was equal length again. Fry kisses his metal boyfriends cheek and whispers praises, saying how well the bot was doing. It made Bender feel so much better when Fry called him great, amazing, a lot more.

The final step was to redo the outer casing of Bender. It would be hard. Fry hesitates then gets out spare scraps of metal and welding tools. Bender looks at Fry and tries his new voice box, "...it's okay, meatbag...you can do it... it'll hurt me, but just do it", he says. Fry winces. He doesn't want to hurt his robot but if Bender trusts him that much, he'd do it. "I love you, baby...", he states.

Fry then held Benders hand in his own, which the bending unit was grateful just for the nice psychical touch again. His boyfriend always knew how to keep him calm. "I love you too, asshole", Bender chuckled. The human giggles, at least the robots personality was in check. The welding process began and soon was complete. It hurt like a mother fucker, but everything was back in order. Benders systems ran it's usual checks, all normal. He then sat up cautiously. He could walk again. He goes up without a word and buries himself into the humans chest, "thanks idiot...", he muffles. Fry smiles gently, "anytime, baby...anything...I'd never leave my robot broken", he chuckles. Bender playfully gives a punch on the humans shoulder and wraps his mechanical arms around the orange haired man's body. "Hm..", a content hum came.

Fry picks his lover up and goes to sit on the couch in the hangout room, where they always chilled during work. He gets out a can of Slurm and beer from the mini fridge and turns on "The Scary Door". Nuzzling his head into Bender, the two had a quiet night without any more interruptions. Everything would be okay.