#but anyways im getting help.
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on one hand its nice that the Prozac is doing it's thing and letting me feel emotions again. on the other I would like to stop crying multiple times a day and being in a constant state of anxiety as I finally start being able to give a shit about how bad I've let things get and begin like, processing everything that got bottled up in the last few years.
#hi im in the Bad part of recovery right now. the part where everything Feels worse than it did before bc you arnt numb anymore#but anyways im getting help.#In January im going to open comms to start saving up for like. idk wht i need. help with the hoarding situation i guess.#prolly gonna go stay with my mom for a bit too and will need to board my cats bc like. idk#its getting to the point where im suicidal again and shouldn't be on my own#like no plan or intention. just the nagging feeling. if you know you know.#anyways i plan to fully disassociate from the situation and burry my woes in blorbos so idk#expect things to be exactly the same as they have been but maybe more annoying#also sorry this is still my diary
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"furry inflation" (2024)
#my art#furry#ok to rb#had a meltdown about how none of my art feels like 'real art' today and then immediately drew this#not helping my case#anyway yall should get into the comic series im making please
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mentor
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#gojo satoru#megumi fushiguro#jjk art#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#pulled another allnighter fr Angst's sake cries i havent slept.......but i couldnt help myself i was out all DAY i hadnt drawn all DAY#do u know what that does to a mf i felt all antsy and Wrong#so i cracked an energy drink i think i may have a problem honestly but hey at least u get ur daily dose of megumi angst#remember how i said i considered including gojo in the yuuji/tsumiki/megu squared train piece#well this is me making up fr Not including him there#i ws right his and megumi's relationship deserves its own homage smile :)#anyway @ anon who wanted a gojo/megumi hug.....ik it's not exactly a hug but you can forgive me im sure <3#dare i say it's better than hugs jeremy.....#honestly fr all my gripes w gojo i Did get kind of emo abt this?? but i feel like. the majority of my emotions r on megumi's behalf#also might have been the mukashi mukashi no kyou no boku on repeat that'll also do it#seriously debated putting translated lyrics as the caption but it feels like a copout doing 2 lyric-captions in a row#also i do have some shame. miku lyrics r a bit.#anyway art notes uhhhhh finally got gojo's hair to not look Yuuji#who knew the trick was to make it longer smh maybe sleep deprivation n 10 hours of staring at a screen Does make simple problems hard#oh file name 'proud of you' btw
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Happy 1 year anniversary to Mr Sherlock Holmes! Here's a litttleee celebratory comic from me
#sherlock & co#sherlock and co#writing these tags on the 29th of september#which is when john and sherlock ACTUALLY met <3#so there you go#uh once again shout out to candy for letting me talk through some of my processes#it helps immensely and i really wanted to be sure i was getting across what i wanted to with this one#speaking of which - usually i yap a lot in the tags of these bcus i love talking about art#for this one...im not sure i want to comment too much#because i'll be here forever and i think most things can speak for themself#but let me say this one thing#for the first five pages i was drawing john on paper and sherlock on the computer exclusively#and then bringing them together..#uh it really made me think of paul and harry. recording on opposite sides of the world. brought together by the power of editing#its not a particularly emotional scene but i hope ive infused it with. something.#anyway thats it from me#if u want to ask about any particular aspect i would love to yap about the process but i'll just leave it here for now or i'll never shut u#happy 1 year podpals#patsart#oh yeah i will say i did have to take quite a bit of liberty with the audio in order to do what i wanted. forgive me#or dont idc
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Pain is a great motivator…
Part 26 || First || Previous || Next
—Full Series—
Meanwhile Toriel:
(Loud noises don't wake her up usually.)
Artist note: I’m so proud of this :))) I know it’s a lot of dialogue and reading, but dialogue is grueling work for me. I’m glad with the art and for the amount of pages I made in such a relatively short time span -w- page 5 was super fun to work on. A lot of blood, sweat, and hours here... :) The backgrounds were a big bore tbh, but I finished them! Yippie!
#CHARA WTF DO YOU MEAN “COMPUTER”????#lol i hope you guys dont hate me for what im doing in the next update.#IS THAT A MAC OS???#Yes......owo''#Kris and the Gang are LITTLE now. I've pixelated them and turned them into little game characters!#FINALLY!!#I never thought I would be going so far in the story to explain WHY Kris pulls out their SOUL and opens Darkfountains even when they killed#Berdly in Chapter 2. Pain can make people do horrible things.#Uhhhhhhhhh anyways. :3 I hope you liked it! I made this post a little too long for my liking and didnt get it out when i wanted too-#but thats okay! As long as people enjoy it :)#bread#art#deltarune chara timeline#deltarune chara timeline comic#seriously though#long post#man am I glad I switched over to the limited color palet! It helps me feel alot more relaxed uwu#This is....way over 16 hours of work q-q#chara#asriel#susie#kris#asriel dreemurr#kris dreemurr#kris deltarune#susie deltarune#deltarune#comic#my art
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first base is wound tending second base is hand touching
#third base is marriage#this is abt calabby but applies to all ships i hope this helps <3#humor#ship dynamics#this has been a shitpost#windy#walker independence#im not being silly im not being funny it doesn't get nore romantic than this <3#its abt the tenderness and unresolved tension#also the yearning pining longing etc#anyway tropes that make me insane every time <3#1k#im being diagnosed as ace in the notes....interesting#im sorry but it doesn't get more tender and romantic and intimate than this#10k
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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Will Swannie miss his wings? He’s been like that for about a year now, he probably gotten use to the wings and the pain in his calves/legs…would Donnie get like….phantom pain or something because of the missing wings? Would he in some way try to get them back or have a reminder of them? Will Donnie even try or want to dance again?
donnie doesn't usually dance on pointe anymore-- it was a rare occasion pre-curse, and now post, the physical demand is typically too much for him to handle. but when your little brother knows levitation magic, anything is possible for a special occasion.
generally speaking, though?
there's no way he's ever gonna want to stop dancing.
[ swanatello ] [ prev ] [ fin! ]
and... that's it! that's the end!
... well, the end of the main storyline, anyway! the end of the story for swannie that i wanted to tell. the au will still be around! <3 swanatello has pretty much always been built on the asks i've received about it, and i still have more tucked away in my hoard that i intend to get to at some point or another as little bonus side stories, and my askbox is always open as well...! and on that note--
thank y'all so, so much for your support on this magickal girl journey. i NEVER expected to get the amount of love or attention that i did for my silly little donniesona that was based on a pun, but i had so much fun with this comic and am so grateful to y'all <3 like i said, this entire au was really powered by the amount of asks i received about him and his story, and it was really such a fantastic experience for me all around. not including any non-canon crossover content, this comic is approximately 965 pages long! definitely wasn't my plan when i doodled him for the first time as a goof, haha.
thanks, gang. <3 i hope you enjoyed the ride, too.
#he does get phantom pains for his wings sometimes#but his ninpo wings definitely help fill that hole! and are also helpful when walking hard#also once again brownie points to those who spot the parallels#claps hands together. WELL. thats... it! thats the story! the main one anyways...!#im still kind of baffled that its technically finished now lol#thanks again <3#swanatello#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt#tmnt 2018#tmnt 2k18#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt donatello#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt michelangelo#rise donnie#rise donatello#rise mikey#donniesona#rottmnt au#rottmnt comic#rottmnt fanart#fidgetwing
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monster au intros - team 141 feat. Price, Ghost, Soap and Gaz!
#laswell is just a normal human being#she doesnt need powers to keep these boys in line#also ive had the idea for this au for literal months but the soapbox series always took priority#so im really REALLY excited to be finally getting to this#also dont worry! more intros are coming soon#im planning on doing alejandro rudy graves valeria#and konig horangi and kruger respectively#monster fkers unite#monster 141 au#john mactavish#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#simon riley#captain price#captain john price#kyle gaz garrick#giragi art#also feel free to send in asks about lore#i need help fleshing out the au anyway :)
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bugs when you lift up a rock
#GYAAAAAH oh god the tags. help me#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#mmj#leoneed#wxs#more more jump#wonderlands x showtime#HAPPY BRITHDYA SAKI I FAKWKNG LOVE YOUUU#ichika hoshino#saki tenma#honami mochizuki#shiho hinomori#minori hanasato#haruka kiritani#airi momoi#shizuku hinomori#Time for my secret tags. IF YOU'LL BE AT ANIME NORTH THIS SATURDAY AND SUNDAY I WILL BE HANDING SOME OF THESE OUT ..#and i will FINISH VBS AND NIIGO GOD WILLING 🤞#um itll just be paper i dont know i dont have sticker paper. im making some into magnets for friends w what i have left of magnet paper#THERES A 30 TAG LIMIT? ok well im makign cosplayer for the next 2 weeks and im so scared ALSO MIKUEXPO TORONTO GYAAAAAH!!!!!#if youll be at mikuexpo toronto i hope to being some with me to give no promises tho. i'll be .. cosplaying tsukasa .... on public transit.#AGAIN. to get there. anyways i need to lock in goodnight love you sorry to asks i havent answered im sleepy#yhis ones dedicated to the person who said my art tastes like hard candy. little candy bobbleheads for you
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HEART. LUNGS. LIVER. NERVES. HEART. LUNGS. LIVER. NERVES. HEART. LUNGS. LIVER. NERVES. HEART. LUNGS. LIVER. NERVES.
#HEART. LUNGS. LIVER. NERVES.#POV The Nightmare breaks your concentration and Slays You#i mostly drew the nightmare because its where i met voice of the paranoid#i love voice of the paranoid a lot#i love that the terrified voice in my head gets to be Helpful. and ACT#obviously incredibly prime subject to project onto#anyways i really like this game and when i can find the time and energy ive been trying to find all the paths and achievements by myself#so please enjoy my first post of the new year#i will not promise there will be more#i couldnt decide if i like the colors for the hand breaking our concentration so im giving yall both#voice of the paranoid#slay the princess#the nightmare#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art
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you open my Super Important Documents and its just pictures of charles xavier
#xmen#mcu#xmen movies#xmen first class#charles xavier#professor x#snap sketches#todays schedule has been ruined by my ever occurring need to practice drawing movie charles its horrendous#i started this sheet last night but then i kept adding to it and i keep wanting to add to it but i MUST stop myself#in an ideal world i get paid to draw charles xavier and erik lehnsherr but no i live in this baka society#sleepless charles WAS inspired by me starting this at 1AM and forcing myself to sleep at 4AM#and then here i am picking i up still later .... i need professional help i fear but i aint got time for that#NEVERTHELESS I THINK IT GOT IT NOW. I THINK IM OK. i think i know how i wanna go bout drawing him now ...#chat can i confess that like. .5% of the reason i barely draw FC charles i because of his hair#for some reason some demonic entity prevents me from drawing it easily i am in STRUGGLE CITY#the only thing that gets me is that whenever i draw him i can only think of the likes of a disney prince but man thems the strokes ig#i also drew a quick dark phoenix charles but i figured id just keep this first class oriented#anything else i want to say ? uh. hm. its funny i never do any of these sheets for erik#genuinely On My Life made One (1) sheet and was like 'no yeah i got it. i got it down'#literally not my fault his head is So Shaped and defined but anyways. this aint about him.#i mean it could be. i still wanna do a doodle page concentrated on drawing how his powers show#more specifically how do i wanna draw the glow cause i cant decide on it ... also i wanna draw the 'levels' ...#but thats for another time. for right now i should probably eat i havent eaten all day#bye bye !!!!!! here's to hoping i draw something thats not a doodle sheet one of these days
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everybody go home. this is my magnum opus
#HELP THIS IS KILLING ME#the original version of this had hua cheng in a ‘i have a CRAZY wife she hates STUPID PEOPLE and LOVES DOGS and im NOT AFRAID TO USE HER’#but if hua cheng was at midwestern gas station number 472 in the novelty slogan tshirt aisle#she for sure would get some sort of ‘your wife (woman symbol) vs MY WIFE (wonder woman silhouette)’#or ‘trophy 🏆🏆 WIFE’#or possibly a ‘return to wife if lost’#or ‘i have a SMOKIN HOT wife’#or ‘im the BOSS til my WIFE gets home’#or ‘5 things you should know about my WIFE: 1. she is my queen 2. she is a bit crazy 3. she can whoop your ass#4. she says whatever she is thinking 5. mess with her and theyll never find your body’#or ‘i go to work so my wife can COLLECT SCRAPS’#or even at worst. ‘ my wife is the PRINCESS the mouse LOST’#xie lian would be initially embarassed. but you know her ass would be wearing a ‘proud PROPERTY of an AWESOME WIFE’ shirts @ heaven meetings#or ‘i’m not scared of ANYTHING - my WIFE is a CALAMITY’#which was sold as a metaphor for your wife being mean and powerful. but she wears it straight.#or even ‘im not GAY but my WIFE is’ lmfao#anyway.#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#hualian#hua cheng#xie lian#hualesbians#modern au#tgcf meme#my art#art#tgcf shitpost#lmao#mxtx
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thinking about wolfwood (ID in alt text)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#from awhile ago! i forgot to upload it here i think#i realized looking back at this. wolfwood has shrunk even more. DFGMKSGMS im sorry everyone has to bear with that. short woowoo#is engrained into my bones.... but anyway. im a big fan of vash yearning if that was not obvious from my previous comics.#not to say wolfwood doesnt do the same ofc... but im just thinking about vash's layers of repression in emotions and how he holds it#all together for the most part.... and when he yearns it's not like a dopey lovesick smile or anything. his cheeks are red but he's all “:(#bc he's Shy about it. and troubled by how much he's thinking about ww. but he can't help it and even less so when ww is right there#it's a very honest expression from someone like vash i think. and wolfwood can start to tell when he's faced with it and in turn#also gets embarrassed . silly the both of them#ruporas art
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So does anybody else ever think about how Loop felt the need to demonstrate that the party's deaths wouldn't have any effect on the loops. I know I do but that's besides the point. Anyway I don't think Loop actually needs to bathe, they just like to feel included.
#'but lucabyte didnt you already do a comic with this exact same message? that loop has potentially killed their party intentionally before?'#yes i did absolutely do that thank you for noticing. that is what the cannibalism comic is about. no that was not a metaphor. lol#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sifloop#isat siffrin#isat loop#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#lucabyteart#ill ramble elsewhere some other time. maybe in a text post. but. long and short of it: even if you assume the answer to 'how do they know'#is that in sasasap isa got frozen once. theres still the fact that the loops are from sif being too distressed. how far gone does a siffrin#have to be before they can witness a party member die and notice it has no effect. how does loop feel to have planned to kill the party#during act 3. why did they NEED to show sif that. are they trying to preemtively stop them from getting the idea in their head#that maybe that might work? when they're out of all other options? when they just get so frustrated and at wits end?#loop helps in subtle ways through the whole game. and in less subtle ways like begging sif not to use the dagger. and while yes the#overarching reason you need to learn that the loops are tied to sif is because you need to figure out wish craft.... loop doesn't know the#actual mechanics of the loops themselves. just what didn't work. the power of friendship. getting the final hit in. being perfect. etc...#and besides all that.. how did loop feel during that hangout. being so deceitful. especially since before the other shoe drops#sif is enjoying themselves. but they know what's coming the whole time.#as for: why bathing? its the obvious imagery for blood on their hands/washing/never being clean. and is a bit of an inversion of the other#piece i just drew with the other casual closeness and nudity being kind. this one is cruel instead.#anyway tag ramble over ill do a masterpost of all my fanwork with some directors commentary sometime i promise. since i know im often vague
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the vampire lestat in the media (1/2)
#lestat de lioncourt#iwtv#interview with the vampire#iwtvedit#userkareena#userrenee#i wanted to make this since the finale but didnt know how to go about it#but now i have rockstar lestat so i had to#too lazy to do the rest but one day!#im going to have my friend print that hot ones pic on a tshirt#anyway#graphic design is my passion~#in my head louis tries to help lestat but quits after a day#that man is getting canceled left and right that not even louis and his crypto can do anything to help#also someone on twitter said he should be on hot ones so i had to! originally his ontd post was going to be about a feud with tswift lol#but i said no let me not go there AND THEN THAT HAPPENED#*#ldlitm
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