#but also. religion can sometimes make you feel that way
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I hate to say this, because it's a really soul-crushing answer, but there isn't going to be a clear enemy, especially if people are trying to claim that all of a demographic is the enemy. This is an all or none fallacy. If an organization or person is trying to convince you that all the people of one demographic are your enemy, it's a way of creating alienation, isolation, and dehumanization. This is how soliders justify that it's okay to kill "the enemy" in a war.
The enemy isn't an entire demographic. Think of the other times in your life when you've been convinced that an entire demographic thinks or feels or believes in one way. Were there any times you were forced to confront that that wasn't actually the case? Okay, now also think about a time you met a stranger who immediately formed opinions about you just based on traits about you that you have no control over. How did that feel? Were they right and that's actually who you are? Or was it just easier for them to dismiss you that way?
It's hard. It's really, really, really hard. Part of the whole way our brains work is that we're trained to look for patterns and shortcut work whenever we can. Sometimes that means making quick, easy assumptions. But sometimes, we have to take the time, effort, and work to recognize that sometimes we built our pattern recognition from really faulty sources. Like Hollywood. Or a racist upbringing. Sometimes, we grow up not knowing that the ideas around us can really hurt the people around us, and it's really hard to recognize how deeply that can work into our own psyche.
The hard pill to swallow is that other humans are not your enemy. Stop going for the easy answer. It's easy to hate a gender, a race, a religion and say anyone associated with it is the "enemy." Don't be so naive as to believe that the enemy is a tangible being, a supervillain wrapped in an easy package to defeat. The difference between stories and life isn't "reality," it's complexity. Stories are based in truth, absolutely, but a shrunk down and simplified truth, able to fit an entire lifetime inside, what, less than 500 pages? Life is so much more complicated, and that's what people are trying to mean when they say "stories aren't real."
The "enemy" isn't a race, a religion, a nation, an age, or even a gender. It's so much more intangible and insidious than that. Because it's just... belief. Belief that some are better than others. Belief that anyone is deserving of pain. Belief that some people should be prevented from building happy, stable lives. Belief that exists a concept such as a person not doing "enough" with their life. And the hardest part of accepting that as the enemy... is accepting that you're going to see it in yourself a lot. And it's probably actively hurting you.
TL;DR: The enemy is hate.
garden variety conservative transphobia is going to get worse but radical feminism is also going to get worse. if youre a cis women terfs are going to try to recruit you and make you believe that the reason your rights are at stake is because of trans people. they're going to tell you that all men are your violent oppressors and they're going to include trans women in that category. they're gonna tell you about women who are gender traitors and joined the enemy and they're going to point to trans men. don't believe them. trans people are not your enemy, we have no power over you, and we desperately need your support and your solidarity.
be aware of radfem pipelines and dog whistles too. be skeptical of anyone that talks about the divine feminine or correlates birthing, menstruating, or female reproductive organs with womanhood. be especially skeptical of people who use those biological things as reasons to why women are more spiritual, or more in tune with nature, or just that they're better than men (read: anyone they decide is a man)
radical feminism is an expected reactionary outcome from cis women who are being oppressed by conservatives, especially when all they practice is ciscentric, liberal, white feminism. they feel the need to be radicalized but don't have the experience and information to pinpoint the true source of their suffering. trans people are not your enemy, AMAB people are not your enemy, anyone who identifies as a man is not your enemy. we're all being crushed under the same stone
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• astrology observations •
⍟ sagittarius risings can be intimidating because they have strong personalities and don’t hold back from showing it
⍟ lilith square ascendant, when younger, does not feel like they can either 1.) fit in because of who they are/their physical appearance 2.) be themselves or who they truly are because there are serious restrictions that hold them back from that ….or both. when they get older and become free from whatever held them back in their childhood they become really sexy and confident people. they can be seen as kind of bitchy or polarizing but in a way that people enjoy or find attractive …or can’t help but be attracted to even if they don’t want to be. i also feel like lilith square ascendant gives really severe insecurity issues that stem from a large rejection wound. (i have this aspect)
⍟ idk if this is just me but i find that wider orbs don’t mean that a particular aspect in someone’s chart is “less relevant”. in fact, i’ve seen the contrary. that super tight orbs make less sense to me and then i see a wider orb that does make sense.
⍟ sometimes i feel like people with scorpio energy can see things in black and white ways. and they might judge others who aren’t as analytical as they are.
⍟ i think jupiter in the 1st is a huge indicator of beauty. i see this in the charts of so many physically gorgeous people.
⍟ venus in the 8th house gives morticia addams energy
⍟ people with lilith aspecting their moon are extremely charming and can be seen as likable easily
⍟ scorpio moons have squinty, cat-like eyes
⍟ pisces moons have dreamy eyes
⍟ scorpio mc or pluto in the 10th is like the sex symbol placement
⍟ lilith in sagittarius is like the hedonistic, free spirit. they don’t like being tied down by things like religion, institutions, etc.
⍟ uranus in 7th house might have a hard time with commitment in their relationships. they could be seen as elusive or like they can’t be tied down when it comes to romantic partners.
⍟ capricorn risings are naturally born with extremely slender or petite figures. they’re tiny people.
⍟ aries risings have a lot of energy. they come off as very 🎇🔥‼️ ex. billie eilish
⍟ mars in scorpio people can have dark humor or just a strange humor in general that has an underlying twisted-ness or sarcasm to it. ex. aubrey plaza, joaquin phoenix
⍟ mars in cancer always have a softness/sensitivity to them that others can feel
⍟ i would say the best way to get back at a scorpio mars or just a person with a lot of scorpio placements who you upset or you had beef with is to outright ignore them. like …just literally don’t look at them. don’t let them see you looking at them. act like you don’t care. this will make them think you have the power in the situation and will piss them off/drive them crazy like nothing else.
⍟ venus-lilith people are physically beautiful or have beautiful bodies. something about their physical appearance is desirable in the eyes of others.
⍟ moon aspecting asc can be just as dreamy and have a highly similar effect as neptune aspecting asc
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The silt verses is definitely made for me, as someone with an interest in theology and a moderate amount of religious trauma
#ramblings#hmmm should I make a tag…#raine listens to tsv#I have too many tags man#anyway yea the way religion is treated here is very interesting#and Sister Carpenter’s bit about like#thinking that her brothers death was a punishment for forgetting her faith#which is super fucked up#but also. religion can sometimes make you feel that way#especially if you were raised in a place where god wasn’t a comfort but a thing that leeched off you#and your faith#‘‘a god must feed. a god must be fed’’#what I’m trying to say is that gods in the silt verses are like parasites
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the only person who was actually right about the world and human nature was Max striner everyone else is a fucking moron
Striner? I hardly know 'er!
Anyways, I'm not a philosophy expert. I'm just some guy. I like the egoist belief that there isn't a universal moral truth. I like the absurdist belief that, because nothing matters, we should be radically sincere. I like the christian belief in a place without suffering after this life. I like the Universal Random Number Generator idea my therapist and I talk about
All of them have their flaws though. Egoism gets used to condemn social movements and civil rights advocacy. Absurdism and the RNG can create a sense of existential dread and a loss of motivation. Christianity encourages the loss of identity and free will
I'm just some psych student with a weird ass therapist that understands my weird ass brain. He encouraged me to look into absurdism since I took a class on absurdist literature my freshman year of college and he said I might enjoy looking into the actual philosophy. And I do! At least a lot of it! I like the idea of a chaotic universe and us humans trying our best to control it. I like the idea of letting that go and living authentically instead of with a direct purpose. There's chaos and mayhem and entropy and I'm just here to react to it. And I can react in ways that makes others happier if I wanted just because I can
Egoism/egotism feels too disconnected from the human need to connect to me. It traps me into that feeling that doing something good for someone is selfish if you're doing it to feel good. I'm actively working to get out of that spiral Christianity put me in now
I don't know, though, anon. I'm just some college student with an ex-christian tumblr blog and a lot of trauma. I like to believe there's some Universe-sized Abstract Computer with a random number generator that causes the chaos we call home. I skim wiki pages and reddit posts and decided if I want to engage any further/look for textbooks. I could possibly be looking at the wrong page about the wrong philosophy. I'm honestly just on this earthly plane for the bit
#if y'all are into philosophy I encourage y'all to look into it still just because it's interesting#As I understand it egoism/egotism is the belief that you only control one's own actions and awareness#and that all actions done by one's self is meant to benefit their own well-being#For me it sends me into a guilt spiral of worrying I'm not a good person because I feel good making others happy#because that would be selfish and that would make me bad actually#all of which I know if black and white thinking and we're all a little selfish sometimes. it's good for us#Im just not at a place where I can really dive into that#Im a fan of absurdism because of my commitment to the bit#It's essentially the idea that the universe is chaotic and life doesn't matter/there's no purpose to life#And you can respond by finding a higher power/religion/purpose. endgame. or live life pushing against the chaos#Modern absurdism gives further options but I haven't quite learned enough to fully explain them yet#And given the nature of my blog I obviously didn't like religion nor am I secretly a ghost#So I like the idea of having no actual purpose I have to follow (like being christ like)#but this belief is also not for everyone. it's known to cause existential dread and crises#I loved absurdist literature though. My favorite is Beckett's plays they're so fuckin funny in a dark way#I love finding humor and committing to the bit in times of stress. That's essentially what this blog is lol#also there's 750 of y'all now that's fucking wild#anyways I hope y'all enjoyed my ramblings about philosophy since it's been a bit of a growing hyperfixation lol#don't take this as a conversion attempt I actively am saying don't look into these things unless you enjoy philosophy#If y'all really like my absurdism rambles tho I'll write more about it but only if y'all ask. i'm not tryna influence y'all lol#ex christian#religious trauma#ask tag
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my tags on the post i just reblogged got me thinking so here’s my current stream of consciousness
#i refer to ages 12-16 as my ‘church girl era’ bc that’s when i got really deep into christianity#like i went to church twice a week (regular sessions on sundays small groups on tuesdays) and to church events trips camps etc all the time#i even got baptized when i was 13 bc my siblings and i weren’t baptized as babies#like church was such a huge part of my life but i think it only became that bc of the specific church i went to#it was a nondenominational church and the environment was very chill for lack of a better word#and the social aspect of it was really what got me into the actual religion#i HATED going there when we first moved here bc i didn’t know anyone and i was so painfully shy#then in middle school i made a bunch of friends who went to the same church and suddenly it was so fun#that’s when i started going on tuesdays bc we would play games and have contests and stuff like that before the actual small groups#so it felt more like a club my friends and i were in than a church#but once i had those friends and i was comfortable being there i genuinely started to get more invested in christianity#bc i was actually paying attention to the sermons instead of just thinking about how anxious i was the whole time#so by the time i started high school i was very actively christian for the first time in my life#but somehow i drifted away from it just as easily as i fell into it#i started playing lacrosse when i was 15 and we had practice most weeknights so i couldn’t go to small groups anymore#and then our church merged with a bigger church in the area so we became a new branch of that church instead of a little community church#and the merger changed so much about the way the church operated that a ton of people just stopped going entirely including me#and it only took a few months for me to realize that i just didn’t really believe any of it or feel connected to it anymore#and idk even years later i still have love for a lot of those people and that part of my life#but it’s interesting how as soon as i lost that social community the church gave me i was completely disconnected from the religion itself#and at this point in my life i can’t see myself ever identifying as a christian again partly bc i just can’t get myself to believe in god#and partly bc of all the awful christians out there although i firmly believe there are still so many christians who are good people#for example my church was always accepting of the lgbtq+ community which obviously was and is super important to me#but yeah i just can’t see myself ever being religious again but at the same time i still find myself missing it sometimes even now#the community was clearly a huge part of it for me but it was also such a nice feeling to be so into the faith or wtv you want to call it#like i’ve always known my own values/morals ofc and i also love other forms of spirituality but actual religion is such a unique thing to me#like i don’t want to be christian again but i do miss the feeling of being christian/religious in general if that makes sense#and at least for me there really isn’t any substitute that can give me that same specific feeling which is honestly really sad to me#anyway. idk where i was going with this but if any former christians (or other ex religious people) want to weigh in i’d love your thoughts#lj.txt
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#also; I don't say it cause I don't want to be rude or be shitting on anyone's religion; but if you're praying for me... don't#If I'm more candid than I usually am; I don't like it; I don't believe; I don't want it; and it makes me uncomfortable#I let people cause it helps them and they want to; but it sure as fuck doesn't help me and I don't like it#I don't come out and say it this bluntly cause I don't want to be an asshole; but that's the honest truth#it ends up (in this specific case; with me; not talking about praying in general) being a hell of a lot more about you than about me#and I don't normally care about that; but like if you're trying to help then I feel like maybe that's a bit backwards#know I'd think it was backwards if something I was doing was more to help me feel better than the person I wanted to help#like I'm not gonna get mad; it's your business; but I don't like it#and I've tried to gently tell people I don't like it; do it diplomatically as possible; cause I know people get weird about praying#get nasty frankly; like there's no denying people get mean about people praying#(though I gotta be honest; I do kinda get it; you might not get how it is with people always being so damn pushy about it)#but I try not to be the person getting nasty about it... but I don't like it#and not to shit on that anon; but you come to me and you tell me to go get help but that you'll pray#didn't ask for your prayers and this is honestly the exact reason I don't like people praying for me#either actually offer me a hand in some way or leave me to deal with it myself#I don't believe in your god; any one's god really; question of what happens after death doesn't interest me#all I know is there's a lot of work to be done in there here and now and whatever answer there is after... doesn't change it#I could die and be told I was sinful for trying to help the wrong people or something... so damn me; I don't recant and I don't repent#so I don't really care about your god or what they think of me; they can like me if they want and they can hate me if they want#I don't need you interceding on my behalf; sometimes things go good for me and sometimes they go shit#if the good things were because someone prayed then that's mighty nice and all; but if that's what it takes I'd rather learn to stand#like; playing those publisher clearing house sweepstakes; I'm obviously hoping for luck; but I'm not gonna fucking pray for that#plus for me personally; prayer always feels real damn selfish so much of the time; don't ask for anything for me#I'm not even fully against it; once or twice I've prayed for someone cause it's what they wanted... doubt it helped#but I'll do what I'm asked when I can muster it and respect their beliefs#so now; and hopefully without being too mean about it; I'm asking you to respect mine#stop praying for me#lend me an actual hand; or since you probably can't do that (know I can't many of the places I'd like to)#feel free to offer a kind word instead and I'll say think you kindly#but you're not a brother keeper; I'm not your responsibility; let me fester and die; or thrive with my bitter soul; or whatever will come
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losing my religion // dark!cult leader!rafe x innocent!reader
summary ; god loves you but not enough to save you.
warnings : mentions of religions. manipulation. cult. smut. corruption kink. small town church trope. religious trauma. purity/innocence kink. slight of god complex. first time. dark/soft!rafe. mentions of murder. sweet lamb trope. coercion. smoking. little age gap. heaven goal. mentions of size kink. glorification. be careful with the warnings. minors DNI.
author's note : it's around 5k words. pfiouuuu. televangelism by ethel cain playing in the background please.
“ father, will i go to heaven ? ”
“ father, will i be this good all my life ? ”
“ father, where was god when i thought he was there ? ”
“ father, did god let me sin on purpose ? ”
you lived in a small remote village, the kind of town where everyone knew each other, and where there were no secrets. well, you thought there were no secrets because everyone here was a true and firm believer. all the locals lived for god. and you would do anything for him and for your ticket to heaven. you had been baptized as a baby and had grown up as a child of the lord, and his most faithful angel. you have acted so well since your childhood and were sure that your death will be a pleasant trip to paradise.
you went to church every day because you always had something to say to god, to ask him, to make him understand. you prayed to speak to him, for him to see you, for him to hear you, for him to know how grateful you were for the life he had given you. your parents had always recommended that you cherish your existence, but also everything that happened to you, the misfortunes as well as the pleasures. life was neither all rosy, nor all white, nor gray or black. you were the only person to give it color. so your religious sister told you that you just needed to know how to paint, but that sometimes you would fail, you would fail but that it didn't matter. because you will make a masterpiece again sooner or later.
you were a devoted child, a faithful lamb with no anger inside, but above all full of love. you gave it to everyone when god had taught you and commanded you to share it as much as possible, that it was this feeling that would bring peace on earth. and who did not want peace, who did not want to please his creator? you were a good girl, so sweet and innocent, the kind sweetheart of the town, incapable of harm or sin, always dressed in your white dress and your little black shoes. you wear everything that can please god. you walked through the church hallway to join the choir, holding the candles. the world had his eyes on you, but especially this tall man lodged in the dark corner.
this man was not god and you knew it, because god would never look at you that way.
you wouldn't know how to describe this gaze on you, but it made you uncomfortable. you continued to move forward, holding the flame preciously against you. you sang with your angelic voice, glory to the almighty, glory to the one who made your existence so beautiful, to bring your back to life every time you felt, and this guy was still staring at you like you were the only person that existed, like the world had taken away the entire universe except you.
maybe you were an angel. after all, you were among the Lord's faithful.
you had never dated a man in your life. your parents and god forbid you, because you needed to stay pure for the good one. you had to remain virgin and clean for your future husband. you were forbidden to look at them, touch them or talk to them except for church activities. you were so loved by god so you had no right to sin, no fucking right to betray him. you had to remain as intact as the mother of everyone, as virgin mary.
you were as holy as the bible, the treasure of the creator. you were devoted like a lamb to his owner, as the followers to the cult leader.
you had never experienced something like touching yourself, making yourself feel good, and anything that included carnal pleasures. you didn't know about pornography, sexuality and lust. you walked away from it as if it were the devil. you were unable to make your god mad, you were too scared for that.
you were faithful to the lord. you helped the people of the village, homeless, the destitute, poor children, the elderly, you helped the world become a better place even when it seemed to be turning against you.
at the end of the mass, everyone, the priest had sent you to collect the funds from the locals.
you were standing in front of the steps. people were always kind and smiling to you as you were collecting funds for the church.
and you had been waiting for this voice to come at you.
“do you really want to go to heaven ? ”
you turned to face the man from earlier, the one hidden in the benches. you answered him with the sweetest smile, and the most nervous look. "yes, i do everything to go there. am i not good enough ? "
“everything?” the stranger had laughed kindly, but it had offended you slightly with that soft giggle.
“ why are you laughing ? this is not funny. ”
“ slow down, baby. you're too pretty to get on your nerves. ” he had pulled out a cigarette.
“will you forget God for a second and be an angel to me ? ”
“ God is in my heart, is in me. i can't forget him, even for a second. he's the reason why i'm living. ”
“ be sweet, angel and light it for me. don't say no, your divine father is watching you, you don't want him to catch you refusing to help a stranger and be mad at you? ” you looked at him with strange open eyes but you accepted. because he was right.
you didn't know how to say no to people. God didn't teach you to say no. people needed to help the people.
you lit his cigarette, and during the whole process he looked at you, his glare scanned your face. you were staring at him, and saw your own silhouette in his eyes, your shadow dancing in the perfect blue of his pupils.
you felt the heat in your cheeks, the burn of his gaze on your skin. you were unwell. you didn't like this situation, the unsteady feeling, the stranger proximity.
when you met him, you felt like a sinner more than a believer.
but he smiled at you. the soft kind of smile that made you forget everything, that made you feel so dumb.
“would i go to heaven now?” you teased him with a small laugh to echo his words.
“not yet but i can help you if you want if you're serious about that.” he answered.
“ i'm serious. ” you were really curious, and he had your full attention. you knew it wasn't good to talk for that long with a man. especially, older. but you took the risk.
you should have stopped when he complimented you because your parents said that men who are nice to girls like you always have bad intentions. but there was also something so charming and bewitching about this man. the way he was adorable. you didn’t see the evil in him.
“i really want to go to heaven, i swear on my life, sir. ”
“ sir ? such a polite thing but i'm not that old, sweetheart. i'm tall, not too old. ”
“ anyways, i really want to go to heaven !! ”
“you already said it, doll. i think God is tired of hearing it now. he wants proof, you know. he needs to see how devoted you are to him. ”
“how can i prove it to him?”
"i know God. i talk to him every day. i am his ruler. do you know what that means? that i am the one who decides for him whether people go to heaven or not. i am his most loyal servant, so he trusts me.”
“are you really connected to God?”
"you are too. we all are but the difference is that i can take you to heaven. i promise you." he placed his hand on your cheek, caressing it gently , a tender and unique gesture that made you shyly smile. “i’m not an angel. not yet.”
"yes, i assure you. i knew it as soon as i saw you in that church. join me." he announced with a warm voice.
“you have always been divine, i never doubted it. you have to go to heaven, you understand? you can't behave so well, be so charitable and disappoint God? and you wouldn't dare doing it, don't you, pretty lamb ? because do you think he will forgive you ? no, sweetheart. you will be punished and rejected like every sinners. ”
“ you're wrong ! God loves me ! ”
“you don't understand. you must be perfect until the end, you must be a great god masterpiece, not his biggest failure. you can't just be the chorus of this choir, be the beautiful thing who holds the candles at mass, the kind soul who helps others. you can't be just that when i can offer you even better and absolutely everything you want. any of your wishes. join me and i will make all your wishes come true, i will make you the new face of the paradise. i will make God see you everywhere. ”
"it seems so unreal...i don't know..."
he had cut you. he didn't want to give you time to think, leaving room for the barrier of doubt."you have to join me, isn't that what you wanted? for me to find you? if you believe in god, you have to be a good girl, make the right choices. "
“okay….” you finally agreed.
he waited for you in his car, one hand on the steering wheel. and you joined him inside. there was so much euphoria in you. you felt like you were doing something so right, so you had this goofy smile on your face.
"does God think i'm a good believer ? i pray every day, i attend mass every time, i sing in the choir and in my rooms all the songs dedicated to him. i only have the Bible as a book and i read it all the time. i can't do anything wrong. i'm good, i promise, i'm good. ”
"is that true? you'll have to show me so I can tell."
“I’m going to pray for you too.” you added. “I pray for all the souls in this world.”
“oh yes my angel will pray for me. i want to hear your prayers, all your prayers about me. but not in front of me. "
“ why ? ”
“ seeing you bent on your knees for me will make me sin. i wish you could see the kind of temptation you are. ”
you had arrived in front of a mansion. you were so flustered and nervous. you didn't understand what you were doing in front of this place, and why he had brought you here. he took your hand, reassuring you with his touch, and guided you inside.
you were not alone. there were other people, women and men. all dressed slightly the same, as if there was a regulation outfit. the atmosphere was strange, a little sectarian. there was an organ playing in the background, and everyone was looking at you kindly so you tried to relax.
"don't be afraid. they're like you, they just want to go to heaven. can you understand?"
you nodded and he showed you around all the places. he even showed you a room and said it would be yours. she was pretty, absolutely perfect but she wasn't yours. not that of your house.
"I'm not going home?..."
"what do you mean? this is your home now. we're a family."
"a family? i have parents, they will worry…”
"i thought you wanted to be close to God. were they lies? you know, you shouldn't joke with religion, and with words. if you want to be a good little christian, if you want to go to heaven, it is to me, and only to me, that you must be devoted.”
"I...I...no, i promise! I'm sincere! i'm sorry, really, I'm sorry. " you now felt terrible. there were so many tears in your eyes, you couldn't even see the room clearly.
the man smiled before taking you in his arms. "it's nothing, you just need to be clearer with your words, okay? I'm your only savior, you don't need others.”
he had wiped the tears from your cheeks. “I have a gift for you…” he whispered and you found your smile again.
no one ever gave you gifts. it was so rare. “open it” he told you.
it was a dress. not the one you usually wore. “you have to put it on. don't you want to shine, shooting star ? ”
" now ? "
"now." his voice was a little firmer.
“i can’t change in front of you…” you admitted. "you're a man...and I'm a girl...it's sinful, it's like having sex! we have to get married to have that intimacy. "
he smiled and laughed. "you've never been naked in front of someone? you've never left this body in front of someone else?"
he had approached, slipping up behind you, towering over you with his height, his hands resting on the corners of your trembling shoulders.
“my sweet thing, it’s as if you’re begging me to corrupt you.”
“what do you mean?”
“that i must see this body.”
" Is it bad?"
“What would be bad, angel, would be to upset me.”
he had pulled the tab of your dress to lower it a little. there were shivers in your body. you felt like you were doing something wrong.
"you're not doing anything wrong. this is what god wants you to do. he told me."
" It's true ? "
“ only the truth. just now. i wouldn't dare lying to you, my sweet. ”
there was nothing you could refuse god. If it were his will, you would do anything.
"but I've never done anything like that? I always thought it was wrong, that I didn't have the right."
he pulled your dress down to the floor, your naked body revealed in the mirror. you could feel his gaze growing more intense as he took in everything you had shown him. "is my body okay? I mean, this is the first time anyone has seen it so..."
"sweetheart, I've never seen anything so beautiful. but I don't just have to see it to judge it, I have to touch it. will you let me ? "
“Lust is a sin.”
“do you want to know my name?”
you had just now realized that you didn't even know his identity. you nodded your head.
“rafe.” he spelled it. “ you must know my name to pray for me, but also to glorify me.”
“glorify ?”
"you must glorify me. salute me and worship me. these are the rules if you want to go to heaven. you must be devoted, I told you.."
" fine…”
he sat on the bed, and you moved closer but he stopped you.
"no, no. all this sweetness but no useful brain ? ” he mocked. “ to worship me, you must be on your knees. ” he said, crossing his arms on his chest.
“ treat me as the same way you treat your god, angel. because this is what i am to you. i want to see your legs bow down for me, i want to see them treading the ground up to me. i want to see that precious look at the same height of my knees, let me see that head lifted up to glory me. "
he had lit a cigarette, the fourth since you had spoken, and had smiled when you started walking on your knees towards him.
he pressed his hand against the growing bulge in his pants.
“open your mouth.” he commanded and you obeyed, and he slipped his cigarette between your lips. “don’t smoke it, hold it only. don't go against my rules. can i trust this dumb baby brain for once to not disappoint me ? ”
he had taken off his pants, with his boxers. and you turned your head, strongly ashamed by his action.
he mocked gently. “in your place, i would not look away, that would avoid unpleasant surprises when this thing will be buried inside your virgin cunt, sweetheart. ”
he had retrieved his cigarette, and turned your head towards him.
"I can't believe you've never seen one. you've been such a good girl to me. you've been waiting for me. "
“will god hate me?”
“how can i show it to you?”
"it's not god you have to fear, it's me, sweetheart because I'm the only one who will decide for you from now on. do you understand? I have to be sure that you are deserving."
“give me your hand. let me guide you...do you trust me? ”
“ i trust you, rafe. ”
he had positioned your hand on his cock which was already hard. you shivered. your hand was clumsy around his painfully boner. yet you had heard him let out a grunt.
his fingers moved with yours, accompanying you in his lewd movements. you had god in your head, heart and body but your fingers fisted around that thick dick made you warm and good. you hated that feeling, but you can't deny the pleasure. it was the first time. you weren't used to it. you moved back and forth with little confidence, while he kept your grip around his bulge. you followed his back and forth, pumping him with fragility. you weren't sure if it felt good but his muscles had tightened.
your fist slid over his length, your hand working massively. your touch was divine, he threw his head back. you could feel his abs twitching in synch.
“open those legs. let me see that sweet untouched pussy. i'm gonna take such good care of it. are you still trusting me ? ”
“ yes…”
you didn't want to. it flowed between your thighs, the wetness spurted in a mess on the floor. and you weren't sure if that was a good thing. you couldn't tell if it was pleasure or not. it was new to you.
“trust me, you don’t want to make me repeat that a second time. do you ? ”
and that was enough for you to bend to his will.
"you feel, baby ? the sweet mess between your legs ? don't hide from me. ”
you continued to masturbate him up and down. you turned him on so much that he already wanted to come in your hand. his cock twitched in your hold and his balls slapped repeatedly against his skin.
"does that make you feel good? do I need to do better? do you want me to put my lips on..."
he had cum on your face. and you stepped back in surprise. “let me clean you up…”
you came back to him thinking he was going to wipe you but he caught his seed with his fingers, and brought them to your mouth. “if you don’t want me to put them down your throat, you better lick them now.”
you lapped up every last bit of cum on his fingers until they turned white again. you knew he was serious when he threatened you. "that wasn't really a warning, I'll do it someday. I really want to use every part of your body. and you'll let me. yes ?”
“whatever you want...”
he smiled and stroked your hair. “you learn quickly.”
you didn’t really know why but his recognition made you happy. she had an impact on you. you needed, and sought, his validation. it promised you to be even closer to god, to show god that you were faithful to him.
you had this urgency to please rafe, to show him that you could be really good.
for rafe, you were another girl that he led into his cult, another lamb in the troop. you were perfect, you always had the profile. he knew it as soon as he saw you.
he had come to the church only to see you. he attended every mass and ceremony hoping to corrupt you. you were so innocent, so kind and so sweet, and above all, you were ready for anything.
you prayed every day and read the Bible. so you had a desire, a goal, a faith.
he had placed you on his legs, his hands caging your waist, wrapping each part of your hips. “I’m going to make you an angel.” he had said, rubbing the tip of his cock against your wet entrance.
“I’m going to go to heaven?”
"it's heaven that will beg for you to come to it, I can even say. but you still have to do one thing for me..."
“tell me. I’ll do anything.”
" good. i really want you to take that dick. show me how much you want to reach eden, i want to see god in you when i'm fucking you. i want to hear prayers in that mouth for how i make you feel, how perfect i am to you and that sweet cunt of yours.”
you rubbed your dripping pussy against his cock, feeling the feverish, leaking tip against your slick folds. you had gently entered him between your impenetrable walls until now, letting out a long and loud moan when you felt his dick getting even harder inside you. It took you several bounces on his thighs to get used to, your pussy stretching around him. you could feel every inch of his length filling your canal but also widening it.
his large hands covered your ass, gripping the gummy flesh of your cheeks, his body moving and following your movements. he had grabbed your face to force a kiss from your already open lips, sliding his tongue against yours. a drool dripped from your jaw, as your pelt slammed and bounced violently against his. your hands were around his neck, trying to keep up the pace.
seeing you struggling and jiggling, he laughed. “even if you had prayers, you couldn’t even say them, too fucking dumb for that shit, right now ? ”
and it was true, you weren't even able to say a word without gurgling. you had tears streaming down your face, your moans were locked against rafe's glossy and pretty mouth, and you were trying hard to take his big cock as best you could. his dick was stuck between your sticky walls, your breasts hitting her toned chest.
“keep going, you’re perfect…” his smile was evil because it motivated you.
you were riding him without even being able to think. you were a fragile little thing doing bad things with a bad guy.
but you wanted to please him. you wanted rafe cameron to think you were good and deserving. you wanted to go to heaven, so you did your best.
and he knew it. you had broken your purity for him.
you were convinced to do something right, convinced that god saw you and that he would be proud to see you so devoted to him.
you didn’t see the harm. you were an angel and you let a demon corrupt you.
you had succumbed to man and his vices, you had let sin enter into you, and let it do you good.
rafe knew what he was doing. you had been his prey. and he couldn't wait to see you at his feet, to make you his perfect doll that he could handle so easily.
because it was only the beginning before you were completely his, completely in control of you, choosing what you eat, what you want, what you wear, what you think.
you were his and his only.
you were his nice girl, not god's one, the one who smiled at everyone, who always prayed in the church pews, who helped those most in need.
he had found you and snatched you from god. because it wasn't him to whom you owed your life. you were wrong and he had to correct that.
you were an angel, and he loved seeing you cry for him. your tears was made for being looked by his ocean eyes, to felt loved by his kisses.
he was completely buried inside you, plunged so deep that you were completely dizzy. and every time you thought he couldn't go any further, he surprised you. you were pretty sure he could put a baby inside you right now, just from the way his cock thrusted inside you, invading your shaking body.
you had squirted and cried, accompanying your tears with apologies. "you're fine. it's just means you liked it. it will also happen to me, angel. don't worry.”
the more he called you angel, the more you began to believe that you were one. you had squirted again but now you weren't scared anymore because he had reassured you. you had been afraid that it would be a disgusting thing and that he wouldn’t want you anymore.
but it was so strange. he was both gentle and cold.
“stop...I’m going to be pregnant!”
"that's not how it works...but if that's what you want, I can take care of it...whatever the angel wants.”
after that day, your life had been totally different, completely transformed by rafe.
you were part of this community now. you were all brothers and sisters, united for a common goal. you always prayed. but above all, you were completely manipulated. you were so controlled that you forgot your family, your friends, your entourage, your involvement in church. only god remained with you. he was still there.
you wore the outfits rafe wanted you to wear, you ate the food he wanted, you only talked about topics he allowed, you became someone else. you were what he wanted you to be.
but one night you heard god. you were sure it was his voice in the darkness. you were sleeping in rafe cameron’s arms, his bicep resting on your stomach. it was strange to see him sleeping like a child when he behaved like that.
you had begun to follow god’s voice in the darkness, your feet pacing and pacing through the empty hallways. the light guided you, it was he who accompanied you. he pulled you out, into the huge garden.
“do you think you can leave? do you think you can leave me ? are you that fucking dumb ? ”
Rafe’s voice made you jump. you weren't sure if you woke him up because you were a quiet person. but now he was in front of you, and he really didn't look very happy.
"I have to leave..."
“I’m afraid you can’t.”
“god spoke to me.”
"oh really? god may be talking to you but you need to listen to me. aren't you grateful for the life i gave you? didn't you want to be good? you're tear up your ticket to paradise. just bury yourself alive at this point."
tears had started to fall down your cheeks. you felt trapped because you didn't know who to listen to. god or this man?
your feet moved towards rafe. as you approached, his arms stretched out as if to reassure you.
“i’m sorry….i'm really sorry…..”
“i know you are but you also know that it’s not enough.”
“so tell me what i need to do to be good enough? ”
“you must sacrifice yourself. ” he said with that deep serious tone.
you looked at him with fear. you couldn't kill yourself.
“ i can’t kill myself, rafe…”
“i know, angel but don't worry, i will. ”
“ what do you mean ? i always did what you wanted me to do, i always been so good to you, i never be against you and your rules ! you promised me heaven, you promised me....everything. was that a lie ? you 'ever be serious to me ? answer me...never ? rafe, i was all what you wanted me to be, even that was not enough for you ? ”
“ i really wish you were. any last word, baby? ”
“ can you at least shoot me in the heart ? ”
“ tell me why...”
“ it's the last part of me you never took away from me. but now that i will die, you can take it. it's all yours. ”
#i'm so fucked up guys i'm tired of this#rafe cameron x reader#dark!rafe x reader#rafe x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron smut#obx smut#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe smut#tw corruption#tw cult#tw religious themes#televangelism#ethel caín#x reader#obx fic#rafe cameron concepts#rafe cameron prompt#dark!rafe cameron#innocence kink#smut fic#rafe cameron blurb#innocent!reader#lamb!reader#rafe cameron scenarios#rafe x you#rafe x y/n#dark fanfiction#obx fanfiction
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☄ ᴛᴡɪʟɪɢʜᴛ ☄
(Astroctober Observations)
☄ - Ascendant aspecting the Moon, the native's aura can standout, their looks in general are quite adorable, especially the eyes (doe eyes)
☄ - Juno in Air Signs. (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) they desire for lots of communication in their relationships, i swear you'll share a lot of laughs with them
☄ - Sun square/opposite/conjunct Moon, these natives are those people with a strong mind yet sensibile soul, they often have to think logical vs emotional
☄ - Capricorn Moons/Moon at 10°, 22° even if Moon can feel different in these placements, it will act very mature and independent, Capricorn Moons natives are the most reliable people ever
☄ - Earth/Water in Sun/Moon/Rising (Lilith or Venus) give dark aura, and is not in a bad term is just their yin energy ☯️
☄ - Eros (433) in Capricorn/Taurus or Virgo want a mature love, they also want to search for a long lasting relationship
☄ - Moon in the 9th house natives can at some point in their lives to move away to a place they like/feel peaceful at
☄ - I love Sun/Venus/Mercury in the 9th house and their love for others cultures/traditions/ is truly unique
☄ - A stellium in your birth chart is when you have 3 or more planets in the same sign, a stelium indicates a big focus depends on the house to have it
Aquarius Stelliums - Innovative, unique, different, humanitarian, helper, working in online/social media
Stellium in the 7th house - Big focus on your relationships, maybe your biggest goal is to get married/having a happy relationship with your partner
Scorpio Stellium - Evolving, transformation, healing, inherited/legacy things, secrets (maybe finding secrets that were hidden from you),
Stellium in the 11th house - Influencer vibes, a big focus towards your social groups, friends, chimestry around people
Stellium in Sagittarius - Discovering, searching, staying wild, boredom, curious, bold, travel, religion, spirituality/ocult
☄ - Having Sagittarius/Jupiter in your 4th house can indicate expanding your home, maybe changing your home a lot and in exotic places
☄ - Sagittarius/Jupiter in your 11th house helps you to manifest friends fast. You can manifest things more easily
☄ - Sagittarius/Jupiter in your 1st house, this is a lucky placement to have because Jupiter helps you so much, especially to get out of bad situations
☄ - Heavy Pluto energy in your chart can make you attracted to horror/dark topics such as movies, songs, art etc..
☄ - Jupiter in Libra/7th house or Jupiter at 7° 19° can make you to have luck in your relationships, and is not about getting the right people, is about the people you get in relationship, it comes with their own benefits (If is Retrogade then you may have a hard time finding the right person)
☄ - Jupiter in Leo/5th house or at 5°, 17°, 29°, these people can get to be known really easily, people are attracted to them like tom after jerry, also you are your own source of inspiration and joy
☄ - Cancer Venus/Moon/Rising can be shy at first because they want to feel secure/safe around that person
☄ - Venus in the 10th house, this placement is makes you to attract partners who can before older than you in age!! But to also attract partners who are very mature and respectful
☄ - People can find themselves very attached to you if you have your 4th or 5th house ruler in the 11th house
☄ - Venus square or opposite ascendant doesn't mean the native is ugly or bad looking, with those aspects most times indicate you have your own style and you like to dress how you want, like not having a specific clothing code
☄ - Lilith in Virgo/Lilith in the 6th house or Lilith in Virgo Degrees 6°, 18°, can find themselves being quite critical about things in their life, sometimes you just have to let things happen
☄ - Lilith in Aquarius or at 11°. 23° Lilith finds herself being in a extremely rebellious energy, people with those placements will do the things in their own way
☄ - Lilith square Moon or Mars natives can hide a deep frustration inside them and that thing can explode something and create a big conflict between the native and other people
☄ - If you have Moon in Sagittarius or at 9°, 21° Degrees aspecting Pluto/Saturn or Lilith this can indicate having your freedom getting taken away/can represent religious trauma/religious conflicts
☄ - Taurus Placements especially Sun/Moon/Rising, I love how deep these people are attracted to nature/background and their environment
☄ - Where you have Taurus in your chart can indicate where you feel the most sensual
1st house - they're sensual 24/7, always feeling sensuality in their veins
7th house - feeling the most sensual around their partners
4th house - feeling the most sensual when they're in their own home/when they're home alone
10th house - in their career/being seen by the public as sensual
12th house - their subconscious, soul and mind has a sensual energy
☄ - If you have Venus in the 4th house or Venus rulling your 4th house (Libra or Taurus in the 4th house), these natives are good for creating a harmonious home space
☄ - Sun Pisces/ in the 12th house or Sun at 12° or 24° degrees, When Sun touches the misterious Pisces energy, everything for these natives can feel like a dream because of the Neptune effect also when it comes to charm...you're gorgeous!!!
☄ - Moon in Aquarius/Moon in the 11th house, you're gonna get so easily attached by them and is you gonna relate to a lot things together
☄ - Mars in the 9th house can make people attached to your culture/tradition, let's say you're Italian for example, people will be attracted to your cultural background
☄ - People born with Pluto in Libra can experience a very big change towards their relationships all their life, your partner can be different from the past one and so on, also they need to put standards in their relationships
I love 1st October so much!!🫶🏼🖤🖤 I hope you all will have a good month!! Hoa hoa hoa season finally started 😭😭😭
Harmoonix~🤍
#october#astrology#astro observations#birth chart#astro notes#aatroblog#astro.com#astrology observations#placements#astro community#horoscope#ascendant#venus#astrologers#astronote#astro#asteroids#lilith#lilith in astrology#twilight#saga#1st October#mood#moon sign
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𝙊𝙃, 𝙁𝘼𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙍 𝙄 𝙃𝘼𝙑𝙀 𝙎𝙄𝙉𝙉𝙀𝘿 𝙄 | 𝙁𝘼𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙍 𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙍𝙇𝙄𝙀
a/n: i haven't started the show yet, so I'm not familiar with his character in this show. please forgive my cluelessness during this fic.
summary: the reader goes to the church to confess to the priest that she recently sinned. however, the father decides to have some fun of his own.
warnings: mention of religion, 18+, missionary, loss of virginity, oral(fem & m receiving) fingering, nipple play, praise kink, pet names like doll,sweetheart,baby, mentions of anal, spanking, degrading, corruption kink, almost caught
˖⋆࿐໋
growing up in a religious household, i have developed a deep appreciation for my catholic roots. whenever I feel overwhelmed by sadness, anger, or depression, I find solace in the church.
today i couldn't help but feel a tremendous amount of guilt. i found myself hanging out with a boy, and things got a bit physical. even though we didn't go too far, i couldn't help but feel ashamed. i had promised to wait until marriage, but these uncontrollable desires keep creeping up. i've decided to go to the church to talk to the father about my recent activities and confess my sins.
as i made my way to the church, i felt a mix of nervousness and anticipation. i'm meeting with father charlie, a young and attractive man who’s also the priest at the church, which is not something you typically expect in the church. i haven't had a chance to speak with him one-on-one yet, so im feeling a bit apprehensive about what our conversation will entail.
i open the big doors to the church to see it completely empty just to find charlie sitting down on one the church benches.
“hello there” he calls out.
"father, there's something weighing heavily on my heart that I need to share with you," i said as I hurried to sit next to him.
i can feel that irritating uneasy sensation in my stomach. I didn't even give him a proper greeting. the guilt was so overwhelming that it made me stumble over my words.
"what is it y/n?" he turns all of his attention towards me, his big brown eyes digging into mine, as if anticipating something significant.
“i don’t know who to talk to, i can’t talk to my parents about this especially my own father. i’ve been feeling really guil-“
he interrupted me with a gentle smile and placed his hand on my shoulder, assuring me that everything would be okay and letting me know that he was a safe person to talk to.
“father, i need to confess something. i kissed a boy, and he kissed me back. he started to touch me, but i stopped him. i made a promise to the lord, and i feel terrible for breaking it”
as the tears welled up in my eyes, i instinctively dropped my face into my hands, seeking refuge from the overwhelming emotions.
"hey, it's going to be okay," charlie said in a gentle, caring tone as he stroked my hair, trying to comfort me.
“now tell me, did you guys fuck?”
as those words reached my ears, i couldn't help but look up at him, shaking my head as the tears continued to fall.
oh no, i hope he's not going to make me feel even worse.
“no father i swear-“
"shh, no swearing in the church," he said, raising his finger to his lips with a smirk. the irony wasn't lost on him, considering he had just dropped the f-bomb.
it was so quiet for a whole minute, and I started feeling really awkward. i had come all this way hoping for some advice or comfort, but it seemed like he just didn't care.
as I stood up, charlie grabbed my arm, forcing me to sit back down. “i didn't say you could leave. where do you think you're going?”
he replied coldly, smirking, “always so forgiving. it's kind of pathetic”
i stared at him, utterly perplexed, not really sure what he was talking about.
“father, isn't forgiveness what the church is all about?”
“sometimes, but in this case, i really want you to show me how sorry you are. otherwise, you're just going to keep committing the same sin over and over again. you don't want that, right? you don't want your parents to find out how desperate their innocent little girl has become, do you?"
i couldn't believe what i was hearing from charlie. i never expected him to act this way, let alone say things like this. i was at a loss for words and didn't know how to react. all i could do was nod in agreement. the last thing i wanted was for my parents to find out.
“father, i think i should go”
"why are you suddenly so shy, doll?" his hand on my chin made me tilt my head to stare at him.
"you don't think i notice how you look at me during mass when I'm speaking on the stand? you've become so needy that you sometimes cross your legs to stop yourself from feeling those emotions you want to avoid so badly," he says while caressing my cheek, gently rubbing his thumb on my bottom lip.
"i know you think of me taking you to the point where you can't even think straight, cum dripping out of you while i use you for my pleasure. you don't think i notice that? the way you avoid eye contact with me”
“i don’t know what your talking about father”
charlie’s hand rested lightly on my thigh, sending a spark of electricity coursing through my body. as his fingers inched toward the top of my skirt, pushing the fabric up just a little, my breath caught in my throat. each slow movement seemed to stretch time, heightening my senses and igniting a thrilling tension i couldn't ignore.
it felt deceptively wrong—the kind of reckless abandon that sent a shiver down my spine—but the anticipation was intoxicating, and I craved more. my mind raced, caught between instinct and hesitation, as the warmth of his touch settled into a deep hunger, one i found increasingly impossible to resist.
i glanced up, searching his eyes for a sign, a cue that this was more than just a fleeting moment. we held a playful challenge, a promise of the passion we both knew was simmering beneath the surface. my heart raced with excitement and fear, the boundaries of right and wrong blurring into a sweet confusion. with every breath, i felt the world around us fade away, lost to the undeniable chemistry pulsing in the air. i didn’t want to stop it; I wanted to let go completely and dive headfirst into whatever was coming next.
“do you want this as much as I want this?" charlie's voice broke through the haze of my thoughts, causing my heart to race in an unholy rhythm. i felt his gaze resettle upon me, a weight both thrilling and terrifying. my mind was a jumble, each beat vying for clarity as i struggled to focus on anything but him.
his eyes—the deep pools of mischief and longing—held me captive, swaying me like a fragile leaf in a rising storm. the blueprint of his desires flickered behind those intense brown eyes, and my cheeks burned with a shameful blush. I could hear the hymns of the service fade into background noise, a distant echo that paled against the ferocity of this moment.
what was wrong with me? i shouldn’t be feeling this way, not here—certainly not in a house of worship. my skirt brushed against my legs, reminding me of the innocence i used to wear like armor, now discarded in the face of this ravenous yearning. charlie wanted me. craved me. it was a dangerous temptation that had taken root within me, whispering sweet nothings that urged me to give in.
the candlelit corners of the church bathed in shadows, the lure was overwhelming. each passing week at mass had been an exercise in restraint, a careful balancing act over a precipice of emotion. seeing him near the altar in his crisp shirt—as though god himself had stitched him together purely for me—seemed more sublimely wrong every time.
as his eyes swept over me, i wondered if he could sense the tension glittering between us, thick and electrifying like charged air before a storm. j licked my lips, torn between the sanctity of the aisle and the allure of his promise. "I need you, doll. I can't deny it anymore," he murmured like a sin freshly minted from temptation's forge.
i felt a tumultuous wave of conflicting emotions surging within me. the whispered prayers seemed empty as an overwhelming desire ignited like an uncontrollable inferno. "father” i gasped, but the air escaped me, filled with forbidden possibilities. despite everything, all i could focus on were his lips drawing nearer to mine, as if the world around us faded away, leaving only the intense magnetism between us.
in that sacred moment, beneath the flickering lights, surrounded by silence begging to be heard, we hovered on the brink of something vast and insatiable. would we give in? would grace curdle into passion? ignoring the whisper of consequence felt like my true struggle—should we tiptoe across this brittle line, or confess that hunger has only one unyielding answer? together.
as I processed what was happening, a surge of warmth enveloped me, and i found myself surrendering to the moment. his lips danced across the sensitive skin of my neck, light as a whisper but charging the air with electricity. a small moan escaped my lips, betraying the whirlwind of emotions stirring within me. i could feel his smirk, a secret shared just between us, brushing against my skin, simultaneously teasing and thrilling.
his hand roamed over my thigh, a firm yet gentle grip that sent a shiver cascading through my body. "that's it, such a good girl for me," he purred, his voice a low whisper that thrummed like a melody in my ears, both lustful and tender. each word dripped with a promise, igniting the fire kindling deep within me, blurring the boundaries between desire and surrender.
lost in this intoxicating closeness, i reveled in the sensations; the world beyond shifted and faded, leaving only his teasing caresses and the seductive intimacy that enveloped us—a balance of power and vulnerability, inviting me to cross the threshold into unknown territory.
"father, i really don’t think we should be doing this here. It just doesn’t feel right. what if we get caught?" i watched as charlie sighed, rubbing his forehead in frustration, clearly torn between desire and caution.
"you’re right," he replied, his voice low and raspy, "but it’s late, and I don’t think anyone’s going to wander into the church at this hour. just relax, sweetheart."
i hesitated for a moment, then nodded, the thrill of the forbidden sending a shiver down my spine. i reached out, intertwining my fingers with his, bringing his hand to my lips and sucking gently on his long fingers. his eyes locked onto mine, filled with a primal hunger that made my heart race. i could see it in his expression—the desperate need to claim me, to tear away any barrier between us.
the air was thick with anticipation, and i could almost feel the weight of his longing as he shifted closer, his breath coming in quick, shallow bursts. the dim light from the stained glass windows cast a soft glow around us, amplifying the intensity of the moment. i could sense the tension building, a thrilling mix of danger and desire, as he leaned in, caught in the magnetic pull that seemed to draw us together like moths to a flame.
we were on the edge of something wild and reckless, and in that sacred space, everything felt possible.
charlie withdrew his fingers, his intention clear as he replaced them with his warm, teasing tongue. it slipped into my mouth, exploring with a fervor that sent electric shivers through my entire body. he held my neck gently yet possessively, urging me closer, deeper, igniting a fire that burned between us.
i kissed him back with equal intensity, a thrilling battle for dominance that left us both breathless. the taste of him was intoxicating, a heady mixture of desire and urgency that made my heart race. every flick of his tongue ignited a wave of pleasure, pooling low in my belly and making it almost impossible to think straight.
the heat of the moment consumed me; i could feel my body responding instinctively to his every move. the sweet tension built inside me, and i knew i needed him—needed to feel him against me, to drown in that wild connection we shared. my panties were already soaked, a testament to the overwhelming desire coursing through my veins.
charlie pushes my panties to the side allowing his already wet fingers from my saliva to dance around my clothed heat growling like a predator hungry for its prey “let me show you how a real man is supposed to make you feel darling, those little boys wouldn’t know how to handle something so precious like you. i can make you feel so good you wouldn’t be able to walk straight for days”
as he pumps his fingers in out of me the sweet sounds filling up the quiet church was enough for the both of us to go crazy “more father please” he smirked at my neediness removing his fingers out of me putting them up to mouth to signaling me to suck the sweet juices off of his fingers then going back in for a quick rub of my clit
charlie stood up getting ready to unbuckle his pants but before he could even do that a voice filled up the quiet room which caused me to jump and act quick closing my legs and hiding my exposed area “father charlie i’ve been looking everywhere for you” an older lady shouts from across the room as she appears to be in desperate need of his help
he sighed and i took that as my sign to leave before we both do something we might regret later, charlie keeps his gaze on me the entire time “hi, ill be with you in a moment” he spoke up the lady stops in her tracks wondering what a young woman was doing here at almost midnight with the priest of the church she was curious but nothing crossed her mind as she was desperate to talk to the priest
charlie followed me out of the church closing the door behind us “this isn’t over sweetheart” he placed a kiss on my forehead as he walked back into the church.
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a/n: omggg i hope you guys like this!! i’ve spent almost a day and a half working on this just for you all especially the person who requested this, i will be making this into a little series since it was getting pretty long! anyways i really hope you guys enjoyed this, remember feel free to request anything!
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1st House Lord in Houses
1st lord in 1st House
You have had a very supportive environment in early youth and a happy childhood. In other words, your life started in a good way. You feel strong and confident and command respect wherever you go. You may have good leadership abilities and have a strong sense of purpose and personal direction. Your health is excellent, and your lifespan is likely to be a long one. You have a good mind. You have may more than one steady relationship in your life.
1st lord in 2nd House
This is an indication of a mind that is very inclined towards education and scholarly pursuits. You are good at expressing yourself and you might prove a good public speaker. You are honorable and you respect the traditional religion. You will have a good family life and wealth comes easily to you. You tend to do good things for other people.
1st lord in 3rd House
This shows that you have strong initiative, courage and valor. Your desires and motives are strong and so is your willpower and most of your ventures will meet with success. You are likely to have sisters and brothers which you will benefit from. Generally, you will try to solve your own problems independently. You may be good with your hands, crafty and possibly artistic. You are likely to enter into new activities frequently, and they interest you as long as you can experience interesting challenges in them.
1st lord in 4th House
Your personality is pleasant, and people appreciate your sensitive and gentle side. The relationship with people you is close with is particularly important to you, and the way you relate to your life. You have a particular desire to be comfortable, physically, economically or mentally. When you achieve this level of comfort, you feel a great sense of happiness. You have strong connections with your roots. You have a good mind, and that will help to gain an educational degree successfully. You will do a personal effort to get yourself a good house and place to live, and sooner or later get a great home. You like driving a car and coming home after a trip is always a warm experience.
1st lord in 5th House
You are an intelligent person, who has a particular interest in learning and education. You have good moral values, and will enjoy good relationships with bosses, authorities, or other people with power. You may experience significant grief with regards to your eldest child, otherwise you can expect several children. You have a tendency to be overbearing with them. You will be able to provide great support and income to your partner. Your temper may be a little hot, especially if your intelligence is challenged.
1st lord in 6th House
This indicates that your life feels like a struggle sometimes. You may however develop good problem-solving skills. The ability to overcome obstacles can bring you wealth and success. There is a tendency to attract opponents in life and you may suffer from confrontations with others. You will eventually learn how to deal with this and reduce the level of challenges to a degree where you enjoy them. You may have some health problems or help others with theirs.
1st lord in 7th House
You will have strong desires, particularly towards the opposite sex. You may marry early in life and have more than one relationship. In any case it is very important for you to have very personal one-to-one relationships. You are a person with many desires, which makes you restless and sometimes makes you act with less moral awareness. You are an outgoing person, and you will do quite a bit of travelling.
1st lord in 8th House
With the lord of the 1st house in the 8th house you may have strong insights into the workings of life and understand things that are hidden to others. One of your biggest challenges is your sense of vulnerability which makes you feel like hiding and avoiding any kind of confrontations. Your life seems to go through a series of transformations, giving you deep insights but also makes you wonder sometime how long you will be able to deal with it. Your health will give you repeated concerns. The beginning of your life was probably quite turbulent.
1st lord in 9th House
You were born with life on your side. You are lucky and fortunate and likely to have strong moral values and be devoted to your teachers and your religion. You may be popular, eloquent and respected, harboring a strong sense of purpose.
1st lord in 10th House
This makes you a respectable individual who is likely to get a great success in life and enjoy happiness on all levels. Reputation is a very important factor in your life. Having a strong sense of purpose and direction in life you set your goals high. Your professional achievements and reputation are the essential criteria for your happiness and self-actualization.
1st lord in 11th House
You will have many opportunities in life while you have a strong desire to succeed. You are bound to utilize your creativity to achieve your goals. You have a good ability to earn money.
1st lord in 12th House
This combination indicates that you might have a difficult start in life, either in terms of health or circumstances. You don't want to be too much out in the open in society, at least not in an overt way, perhaps behind a mask. Your pleasures are mostly fulfilled in seclusion, and you may have a deep interest in spiritual development. You may have attraction for secluded places, hospitals, jails, or "unknown" places or far-away countries.
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Astro observations VIII
All pictures were found on Pinterest
Other posts you could like:
જ⁀➴ Astro Observations V
જ⁀➴ Astro Observations VI
જ⁀➴ Astro Observations VII
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₊˚⊹ ᰔ Moon 10H people can have the desire to control everything, and they feel safer this way. They usually love to feel productive. A job where they are the boss or in charge of people will make them feel better.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ Pluto transiting your 4H will makes you want to be away from your current home, you'll move, or want to be more independent from your current situation.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ Gemini Moons can't stand clinginess, they want to feel freedom in every relationship they have, even non romantic. This means wanting to be alone sometimes, and feeling accepted for that.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ Sun 8H people are so intense, yet they can also have some toxic behavior towards other people sometimes.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ Chiron in 1H Synastry. Chiron person will often be jealous of 1H person. Though, 1H person will often feel hurt by this behavior.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ Sun 8H Synastry in friendship. Sun person can really enjoy the presence of the 8H person but can feel like they are every toxic for them sometimes. But 8H person can actually still want the connection.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ People with their Chiron in 11H will often have their friends leaving them in their life. They always suffer in friendships.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ Mars conjunct Chiron Synastry to me feels like the connection will just hurt both people. Chiron feels threaten by Mars person, wanting to be like them, they are constantly triggered by Mars person. Mars person feels Chiron person is triggered by them and may actually not get why. Or they can also feel like Chiron person needs healing.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ One of my friend has a lot of my placements coming in her 8H and she always assume I hate her. She is very triggered that I don't talk to her daily and always assume I have something against her when... I am just living there.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ Pluto 2H Synastry can result in 2H person always spending more money when Pluto person is around them.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ 9H Stellium people could spend their whole life being paid to study. You could also devote yourself to religion at some point of your life.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ Chiron 9H people can be triggered by religion or spirituality when young, then when they get older, make peace with it, and actually embrace those parts.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ Jupiter 4H can result in a person never be homeless. My aunt has this placement and she always found the cutest place to live.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ Venus in 10H is such a good placement in my opinion. Venus person always believe in 10H person's abilities and always encourage them!
₊˚⊹ ᰔ Sun conjunct Jupiter Synastry between family members can be a really good thing. It's a sign both planets feel good and happy, they always see the better side of life together. Sun person feels delighted and always in good mood, and Jupiter person always feels like they can teach something good to Sun, and they can also feel glad to be able to help Sun person.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ Saturn in 5H Synastry can mean that Saturn person feels like they are not good enough for 5H person, or they can feel like they will never be together. The house person can put limitations to the relationship.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ I have noticed that people with Venus 2H LOVES to spend money on their dates. They also love to treat themselves regularly.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ Any Scorpio Rising I know never forget their loved ones. They care so much and notice every details. I love my Scorpio babies🫶
₊˚⊹ ᰔ A lot of people think Capricorn placements are boring and always serious, but those people may not have met a single Capricorn in their life. Capricorns are so funny, and their humor is usually quite sarcastic or dark, but they are truly comics for sure.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ My sister always gave me strong Sagittarius vibe, and she has her sun in her 9H.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ Having Sun 10H is living your life with people around you complaining you don't give them enough attention. People always have their eyes on you, and you could have beef with someone without even being aware. People see you, notice you, and you could become popular without actually knowing it. Having a 10H Stellium or Leo can have the same effect too.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ And I have noticed that Chiron 10H people usually would love to have this attention. This are the kids who always want to be with the cool kids. Though, they always find themselves having fake relationships for the sake of attention.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ Neptune 11H people can often have fake friends around them or just have no real friendships around them. They can actually never truly see that either.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ Leo Moon people are always so popular lol!
₊˚⊹ ᰔ Neptune 1H can give the same vibe to me, I have noticed people are usually very obsessed with them. And a lot of them have a crush on those natives.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ I have noticed that a lot of men I felt really attracted to had similar placements to my Future Spouse (tho I didn't know astrology so well back then so I didn't know). I wonder if one can meet people for some times with the same placements as their FS.
Thank you for reading!
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Astro Observations
misc. (ii)
🐉 Narcissists may have Mars-Uranus aspects in their chart. Mars’s energy can be either constructive or destructive; pair that with Uranus' erratic quality, and it could make one manipulative. In my opinion, Mars & Uranus having more harsh aspects to multiple other planets could further confirm this. Look out for squares, especially Moon square Mars!
🐉 Sun harsh aspects to Neptune, even conjunction can be somewhat superficial. Neptune may bless them with a mystique that attracts public attention, but they stick to a surface-level public persona. Artists with these aspects may stick to cookie-cutter projects. E.g. Colleen Hover responding to criticism by saying 'I write to entertain not to educate'. Jake Paul also has this aspect. In worst cases there's a delusional egotism to this aspect. On the other hand, easy aspects will be more willing to go within and proudly display their shadows, creating art that is meaningful and leaves a lasting legacy.
🐉 I've observed Scorpio Sun/ Moon in charts of those who backhandedly bully people over things like their appearance. Water Moons in general are capable of inflicting deep emotional wounds to others when unevolved. Having Mercury in a fire sign makes it a lot worse since the words become harsher. I've had a Scorpio Sun - Pisces Moon girl admit to me that she makes fun of people because she had the same done to her while growing up.
🐉 Libra MC are often told they should be models. Understandable because they're so photogenic!
🐉 Pluto-Ascendant easy aspects & conjunction are always reinventing themselves. It's easier for these people to let go of things that don't serve them and realign themselves with their inner true selves. They're skilled at coming to terms with their dark sides and alchemizing it to create a positive impact in the world.
🐉 On the contrary, harsh aspects may feel like they can't be themselves due to external factors or a certain image/ aesthetic that they have to uphold. Some may be child actors/ activists or made it big in early years making it hard to disrupt their public persona. It's way harder for them to branch out within their career field. Ascendant at 0° might have the same effect. E.g. Billie Eilish, Demi Lovato, Finn Wolfhard, Darsheel Safary, Malala Yousafzai, Meghan Trainor, Hilary Duff.
🐉 I've seen so many takes on the 0° & most people romanticizing it somehow. It may manifest in a divine way for those who are self-aware/ have evolved. however MOST people aren't. So it gives a somewhat negative quality to the placement, e.g. Jake Paul has his MC at 0°.
🐉 Moon-Pluto aspects not only symbolize a strained relationship with the mother but also with other women. A lot of trauma you accumulated while growing up was because of the women around you. Some of them may have made you feel bad about yourself because they were threatened by you. The signs Moon & Pluto are in could give more context, e.g. Aries Moon, Sag. Pluto = invalidating your anger, not letting you be yourself and forcing you to be someone they like, forcing religion on you from a young age etc.
🐉 Uranus square MC will have a career-ruining public scandal at least once. All I can say is avoid doing shady stuff and if it's external factors beyond your control, handle it with grace, lay low, you'll get your chance to shine again.
🐉 Moon square Lilith is an enemy placement. Moon person hates Lilith person's guts because Lilith person may have hurt them in some way. Moon could want revenge on Lilith for what they did.
🐉 Venus-Saturn aspects may have had people criticize their appearance while growing up, but they end up having insane glow-ups. Their most attractive years come somewhat later in life and they age very gracefully.
🐉 Moon in Cancer/ Moon conjunct Jupiter people possess the ability to manipulate, sometimes on a mass level. It's on them to use their emotional superpowers to influence people in a positive way and not just keep banking on their victim narratives. Nonetheless, these people can hold public interest for a long time.
🐉 Venus in 10th House synastry is often a clout/ PR couple. E.g. Glenn Powell & Sydney Sweeney.
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ACTING ASTROLOGY
— your fifth house planets
· your 5th house planets can tell about your acting talent and the type of films you’d do best in. if you want to know what type of characters you’d specifically play best and another acting astrology technique, click below
· types of characters you’d play well
· tw: porn (18+ only), trauma, cults, and gore
₊˚⊹☆┊5H SUN
one of the main themes in your life is putting forth your talent by expressing yourself. you naturally have a talent for entertaining others. you attract lots of attention and can be very famous. acting or entertaining others is likely a huge source of happiness in your life. you would do best in film genres such as drama, comedy, romance, action, and children’s films as well
₊˚⊹☆┊5H MOON
your soul has a natural desire to express itself emotionally and creatively through art. you have a face that makes others easily be able to read your emotions which can make you an amazing actor if you are able to feel all the emotions a character feels and fully immerse yourself into that characters energy and aura. this is also a popular fame placement in general. you would do best in film genres such as melodrama, romance, family, and indie as well
₊˚⊹☆┊5H MERCURY
you naturally have the right mannerisms for acting in such a way that when people watch your films it comes off very realistic as if they’re watching a normal video of someone. this placement can indicate starting out on social media or in short films before making it big in the film industry. often people with this placement always wanted to be the main character or take on as many roles as possible in their school plays. you would do best in film genres such as comedy, reality, and short films
₊˚⊹☆┊5H VENUS
you have a talent for all artistic careers, but this is an especially common placement among actors. you would do best in film genres such as romance, romantic comedy, musical, artistic, lgbtq, and dance films as well
₊˚⊹☆┊5H MARS
you have a talent for putting passion and enthusiasm into your expression when acting. you would especially play aggressive roles better. you would do best in film genres such as action, thrillers, horror, gore, slasher, war, medical, lgbtq, and superhero films
₊˚⊹☆┊5H JUPITER
you have an abundance of acting talent. this is a common placement among those who were in theater growing up. this can indicate gaining lots of popularity from acting and gaining success from it more easily than others as well. you would do best in genres such as adventure, thrillers, athletic, comedy, religion and action
₊˚⊹☆┊5H SATURN
this can indicate your job involves acting since saturn represents work. you may not become successful until later in life when acting with this placement though. sometimes it can also just indicate playing more serious characters though instead of a late start in your acting career. you would do best in genres such as history, historical fiction, biographical, documentaries, indie, and also silent films
₊˚⊹☆┊5H URANUS
this can indicate being in films/shows that are more popular on things like netflix or hulu rather than in theaters. people with this placement have the ability to play really unique roles. you would do best in genres such as sci-fi, thrillers, lgbtq, and pornographic films
₊˚⊹☆┊5H NEPTUNE
people with this placement have a natural talent for lying and deceiving others, so they can be really talented actors. you have the ability to put on a good illusion through your self expression. you would do best in genres such as fantasy, fiction, animation, mystery, spiritual, disappearance, and also musical films
₊˚⊹☆┊5H PLUTO
you have the ability to play really powerful characters. you’re good at transforming yourself into someone you’re not and putting on a good show. you would do best in genres such as crime, mystery, horror, action, superhero, vampire, cult, sexual, and thrillers as well
₊˚⊹☆┊5H NORTH NODE
your life purpose could involve acting and entertaining others. you have a natural talent for expressing yourself creatively in artistic ways and through the arts
₊˚⊹☆┊5H CHIRON
you have a talent for putting your inner wounds that have caused you emotional pain into your acting. the more trauma these people have the better the actors they are. you would do best in films that are more so on the sad side
© novy2sirius
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Sorry please,my English is not very good ( it's not my mother tongue) it's silly but you can do a headcanon on pregnancy ( from the dorm heads) or an alphabet on either of them!
Don't worry, English is not my mother tongue too. I will consider reader is in a relationship with them and that they are the father. Reader is a girl in the story.
Dorm leader with Pregnant reader
Riddle Rosehearts
Riddle would be the most shocked if you were pregnant.
You two were still in NRC. IN SCHOOLS! He knew he should have waited for marriage.
Riddle is worried, and rightfully so. He knows nothing about child care, let alone parenthood. He is scared that he won't be a good father. Or worse. What if he becomes like his mother and repeats the trauma circle?
Reader and Trey will need to be the voice of reason here.
Make sure to assure him that everything is alright.
Riddle will gather EVERYTHING he could get about childbirth and childcare.
He will learn everything from start to end. At this point, he knows more about your pregnancy than you do.
Expect him to be there at every doctor's appointment, even better! HE will make those appointments.
Your doctor would be a bit tired tho...
Riddle will ask him a lot of questions. From your diet, to what is needed for the pregnancy, how to make sure you and the baby will be safe.
Reader will be taken care of like a queen.
You will also have to move to Heartlsabyul. Ramshackle is too rundown and dangerous for you or the baby.
Trey mentioned that Mozart was good for the baby's brain development. Care to try it?
Riddle would spend hours talking and reading to your belly.
Will cry before the first ultrasound you did. It's his child's first picture in a way.
Mood swings with Riddle would be funny. He knows it's because your body changes for the child but it's hard sometimes.
Ace would laugh because this time he is the one who has to walk on eggshells.
If you cry, Riddle will be completely helpless. He would panic trying to make you smile.
The one to take care of your food carving would be Trey. Riddle tried to do it, but some of the things you asked for, were unknown.
I think Riddle would be a little jealous of the other. He would feel a little helpless about the situation. And having to rely on others even though he is the father. He should be the one to take care of you!
This would be where Riddle would see the difference between theoretical and practical knowledge.
Marriage will be expected. He will try to at least get a civil marriage. If you have any religion, he will organize a proper wedding following your beliefs once the baby is born.
Riddle's biggest worry is his mom. He doesn't want her to hurt you or the baby.
Riddle will try to take care of everything for you. He isn't the best at it, but he has the spirit.
BONUS Childbirth :
Poor Riddle would definitely want to be there during the birth.
His poor soul didn't support it.
Riddle would either cry or faint. He is sorry he put you through something so painful and potentially traumatic.
You will have to assure him that you are okay.
Leona Kingscholar
Leona with a pregnant reader could be interesting if he was a Yandere.
Lions kill young cubs (not his) to get the lioness more inclined to bear his cub.
But this isn't a Yandere headcanon. So I will keep this in a drawer.
That doesn't mean he wouldn't try to push Grim a little away. Or bribe convince him to leave you and him alone a little longer.
Leona is the first to know you are pregnant. Way before you do.
Cliché but it's true.
He would not try to tell you directly, so he wouldn't sound too insensitive, but he will insist that you take a pregnancy test
Or even better he will try to convince you to do a blood test. It's more accurate than a stick you pee on.
And surprise surprise, you are pregnant.
Leona can't help but be smug about it. He is the father, and if it wasn't obvious before for some stubborn herbivore or... A particular lizard.
Leona is close to his sister-in-law so he had some experience with pregnancy.
But this time he is the father. And the mother is a magicless human.
Unlike beastwomen, you are more weak. This is what worries him.
The first person Leona asks for advice is his sister. Who is the best to ask about pregnancy if it's not someone who experienced it?
This also means that Falena now knows he will be an uncle.
Leona could hear Cheka rambling happily that he would have a younger cousin to everyone he saw.
If you wanted to keep a low profile during the pregnancy, he is sorry. That would be impossible. Say goodbye to your peaceful days.
You must go with him to meet with your in-laws during the weekend.
Leona is a prince. Even if he is just the second prince, he is still from the royal family. Which means, a lot of regulation, tradition, etc...
Leona's family would happily welcome you and try to make you feel accepted.
During the pregnancy, Leona would make sure to get you everything.
You want chocolate and pickles? Of course! Need a massage? The servants are here for you; if you wish, HE would do it.
While in NRC, expect to stay with him. Leona doesn't want you to strain yourself too much.
He will make sure that Ruggie runs errands for him AND you.
Leona will sleep with a hand on your belly. He will never say it but he loves feeling the baby kick.
Another one who will follow you to your ultrasound.
The royal family has their own doctor. And he is your doctor from now on too. You are his royal spouse after all.
BONUS Childbirth :
It's a known fact, that Leona drinks his respected woman's juice every morning.
Well after childbirth? He drinks it morning and night.
Seeing you endure so much pain just because you love him, made him feel even more in love.
Leona could never do what you did.
You are weak compared to beastwomen, but even more brave. As expected of his future wife.
Leona would cradle the baby carefully next to you. He tried not to show it but you could see the small smile on his lips.
Azul Ashengrotto
Azul would be another one shocked. He almost spit his ink.
Floyd and Jade would congratulate and tease him.
It was unexpected but Azul is happy about it.
Don't worry about the future, he saved enough money to care for you and the baby.
For your carving, he will ask the twins for help. Floyd is having a blast with your funny demand.
Azul will accompany you to your doctor's appointment.
He will have done his research before coming with you. And while Riddle would ask the doctor way too many questions.
Azul just takes notes and asks questions only when needed.
He will take you to look for the baby's clothes and maybe even the furniture.
Mood swing with Azul is a nightmare for him and comedy gold for the Leech twins.
No, you are not fat, just full of love.
You are not ugly! You are the prettiest mother who ever existed.
Azul would watch you with bated breath for any outburst.
Please don't mind the contract he asked you to sign. Mariage contract? Don't mind what was written on it.
Bonus Childbirth
Azul would panic the moment your water broke.
He would come in the room, hold your hand as you are pushing the baby out;
And then?... Nothing.
Azul just fainted, he wasn't even able to hold the baby. The tweels will tease him about it.
Kalim Al Asim
LET'S THROW A PARTY!!!
Kalim is way too happy, and you can tell from Jamil's face that he is losing 5 years of his life.
Kalim has been poisoned and kidnapped a lot since childhood, and now he has to protect you too.
Poor Jamil can't take a break. And now you are overworking him.
You will obviously move to their dorm because now you are under careful watch.
Kalim is just happy and is already preparing a room for the baby.
Tell him what you want, and he will give you EVERYTHING.
Your Carving? Don't worry, Jamil can make them for you.
You want a midnight snack? Kalim would try to do it but would fail miserably. He will have to wake up Jamil to prepare your snack and clean up the mess. poor guy
Meeting with the Al Asim family would be great.
Usually, they would do a long background check and be suspicious of you. But if even Jamil trusts you. Welcome to the family.
Another one who has a private doctor.
Mood swings with Kalim would be impossible.
He is such a sweetheart, you can't get angry at him. Instead, he will smother you with love.
You would feel frustrated by the constant monitoring but it's for your safety.
Bonus childbirth
Kalim absolutely wanted to come with you in the room.
Jamil stopped him, so he had to wait with his family.
He would be anxiously pacing until they were allowed in.
He is the first at your side to look at your baby.
Kalim would cry and laugh proudly. He is a father now.
Vil Schoenheit
Vil is happy but also worried. He has always wanted to form a family with you.
But just not this soon. He is an actor so he knows how fans can react.
He wants to be present during every step of your pregnancy but can't.
Vil will keep it as private as possible.
He is not ashamed but it's for your safety.
Vil knows how crazy fans can be, I believe he had some stalker, and you can't tell me otherwise.
Vil would be one of the people who wouldn't cave into your carving.
If he deems it as unhealthy, he will refuse to give it to you.
He will be here for you during your mood swings.
About Vil's dad, I don't think he would mind too much. His son is responsible enough for him to trust Vil's decision. He is also excited to be a grandpa.
Will come with you to your doctor's appointment. He isn't there at every appointment but he tries.
Bonus childbirth
Vil is both in awe and worried. Giving birth is both the most beautiful and strong event he could witness.
He would hold your hand, staying by your side every time
Vil would hold the baby with a tender smile. He doesn't say it but you can see he loves the baby already. It's the most beautiful child.
Idia Shroud
Idia would be happy and MORTIFIED. For him, it's a miracle he was able to pull you.
And now, you say you are pregnant???
He fainted.
Idia is happy but it's too much emotion for him.
He is going to be a father... A FATHER! Idia never thought you would be interested by him, let alone share your blood and have a child with him.
He believes he ruined your life and feel guilty for being happy for it. You will not leave him when you are with his child... Right?
Will ask you if you want to keep the child or not. (Please don't say you don't want it, his heart gonna break.)
You will have to reassure him that you are happy and actually want the baby.
Please hug, Idia! He need a lot of PDA.
Idia will work his courage up, to accompany you.
He will be worried about you and the baby. It's to the point he made something to monitor you and the baby. Or just ask Ortho to keep an eye on you.
Any abnormal change would warrant a panic attack in Idia. He is an overthinker.
Mood swings is a nightmare for both of you.
Idia is an anxious guys, so he would cry.
Any carving you have is like a game where he have to be fast.
His family would welcome you with open arms.
They did a background check, surviving 6 Overblot in a row is incredible. Mind if they study you?
Anyway, you are totally welcomed in the Shroud family.
Don't worry about the wedding after the baby's birth. They will take care of it.
Idia's family is wealthy and he is the heir. So don't spare the details for the baby room.
Bonus Childbirth
Idia would go with you in the delivery room.
I can see him cry like he is the one giving birth.
Poor guy tried to focus on you and only you. Holding your hand tightly, kissing your forehead while whispering encouraging word.
But the moment he glanced at what was happening down there?
He is gone! Idia fainted from horror and shock.
How could you support that? It must hurt!
Did you see the size of his head? He is shocked.
Well was, because he fainted.
Malleus Draconia
I'm going to cheat for this one as I'm planning on doing a Yandere headcanon/one shot involving a pregnant reader. (A personal request of a close friend.)
So I will just link it here.
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst x reader#vil schoenheit#leona kingscholar#malleus draconia#riddle rosehearts#kalim al asim#idia shroud#azul ashengrotto#riddle rosehearts x reader#leona kingsholar x reader#azul x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#kalim al asim x reader
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Advice for beginner Hellenists
This isn't necessarily a post where I include a list of Gods, epithets, resources, and offerings for said Gods, but rather, hopefully soothing the worries of those of us who are starting the journey into the religion. As someone who was once in a religion that made other religions sound like something absolutely terrifying, my journey into Hellenism was once which was also... pretty terrifying, and this fear was mostly just from my own mind.
Anyways, my list of Advice:
You can literally just start praying. If you want to get more formal, you can absolutely get more formal, but you very much don't have to. I've definitely had my first prayers to some Gods be "hello, [God or Goddess's name], I want to worship You! Please lead me in my journey. Thanks!" I can promise you, the Gods are much kinder and more understanding than any of us fully know.
You can also just start worshiping in general. I feel like I've seen on occasion people worried about the Gods not "calling" to them. This is definitely not something that needs to happen pre-worship. If you find them interesting enough to pray to, then that in and of itself is enough.
In a similar vein, I wouldn't be too concerned about the idea of "signs". I feel like there's a tendency for folks to be incredibly worried about everything when first starting out - the behavior of a candle, the sighting of an animal, a strange dream, all can suddenly seem to take on jarring significance. But I can promise you, the Gods don't constantly give out signs, and frequently, these strange occurrences can be attributed to the mundane. When something comes from the Gods, you will know, trust me!
You don't have to worry too much about the idea of cleanliness, be it spiritual or physical. Khernips are cool, and I'd definitely recommend integrating them into your practice sooner or later. Hygiene is cool too! But if I'm being honest, we in the modern day are far more physically clean, and a lot less likely to regularly encounter the type of pollution that would have been encountered in ancient Greece.
The Gods will be at varying distances over the course of your worship. Sometimes, They will feel close, joyfully, burningly so. And sometimes, They will feel far, and prayers may even feel a bit futile. Both of those are perfectly okay, and neither of those will be permanent.
And, once again in a similar vein, you will likely not find yourself having constant, close mystical experiences with the Gods (i.e., conversations, visions, etc.). These experiences are rare and far between, and I would advise that you not make them a central part of your worship. They will come when the Gods deem you're ready for them, and you definitely won't be expecting it. Focus on the little things!
My final thing (for now) is that you also shouldn't put undue pressure on yourself to be doing some sort of big offering to the Gods. If that's what you can afford, that's great! But if not, fresh water, a small wildflower that you came across and picked*, or a small bit of a meal also count as a good offering!
And with that, my (much longer than I was previously planning on) list of things for beginners to keep in mind! A lot of this list is made up of things which I picked up along the way, and a lot of it is also made from my own personal hindsight being 20/20. I hope this is helpful to someone, and that it maybe soothes some of the (incredibly common) worries which so often accompany those who are venturing into the world of Hellenic polytheism!
#dionysian#dionysos#dionysus#hellenic polytheism#hellenic polytheist#dionysos deity#dionysus deity#hellenic pagan#hellenic gods#hellenism#helpol#beginner helpol
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Astro Observations Pt.. ????
No, I cant keep up with the number. Lol. Lets go!
7th house placements def need to pick a side. They also need to put their foot down. Never let people who disrespect you back in. And if you're going to cut off one person for doing it, you gotta do it with everyone else. Just cause they relationship is long term doesn't mean much.
10th house placements need to focus on the things they truly love vs always digging into what they need to do for their career. Worry less about your ambitions from time to time and enjoy the flow. I know ti sucks but, you gotta relax a little.
Sun/Pluto placements can have a lot of rebirth experiences, but one thing that is important is their for growth. Which always seems to come through transformation, but not all the time. It comes through people, and the expression of being around people who love you. Thats what transform them the most. They need the world to truly see them for who they are, other wise they will only show one side of them, and that will ultimately be the version they transform into but it will only kill them from the inside and not benefit them.
Venus/Neptune placements have an inkling for romanticism, fantasy and philosophy in their relationships. They need something that makes them breathe words of enlightenment, purity and emotion. They have the tendency to make things seem more than what they are, rose colored glasses are no match for them at times. A little insight on them is that their emotions can go a little array when they aren't surrounded by the right people. They tend to suck in energy like a sponge, this is neptune energy. But with them you can notice a small difference between them and their lovers, like is it making them glow or is it draining? Thats what they need to ask themselves at times.
Jupiter in the 11th house can proudly be the most optimistic friend in the group. They could become the leader of an organization. They could be the one people come to for advice on certain matters or they could easily be someone people go to when they want to learn more about something. Very charismatic and sharp. Stern but sweet. A little rough around the edges but they get things done!
5th house Suns have a universe of emotions that express themselves in all types of ways. They'll have kids that are just as sweet & charismatic as them. They are a NATURAL at making people laugh! They normally have gorgeous spirits and people do enjoy their company.
Gemini placements have an alluring nature to them due to their minds. Their mysticism is through the art of words and are very tricky individuals. They have come here to master the mind and find ways to fully express their intellect in hopes to connect with as many as possible. They are a one of one when it comes to this area of life.
Moon in the 1st are seen as thoughtful, loving sweet creatures who everyone seems to be super fond of. They hide a lot of their emotions but sometimes we can tell when they're not okay.
Theres just something about them that brightens a persons day. They try to make a good example to others by the why they embrace their feelings and this usually inspires others to do the same.
Sun square neptune - Might be in the wrong crowd from time to time. Has to stay sober most of the time, getting into drugs and alcohol can be addictive and might not be worth it at times. Genuinely misunderstood. Might need a doctor to figure out why they act the way that they do (all jokes).
Very spiritual, this is contained tho. They dont really open up to people about religion or anything connected to spirituality/God. Its their own thing, and its very special/private to them.
Moon/Uranus placements - Needs a doctor. Okay im joking lol. Anyways their lucky to have this one because their minds are very capable of entering into mass amounts of information that is truly locked away from the rest of the world. Like their neptune friends, they have a connection to divine sources that strikes down to them from time to time almost like a brain blast. Could be a oracle, psychic, someone who just knows whats going to happen in the next years to come etc. Could be really creative too.
4th house placements can be friends you can depend on all of the time. They have a warm, soothing personality and their the type of friends you grow up into adulthood with.
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