#and very dramatized for the sake of poetry/annoyance at this one person who none of you know | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nbclover · 18 days ago

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Christianity bothers me because it feels like a group of people toting love as their identity while simultaneously holding a belief in divine punishment for whatever they/their group agree is not worth loving. I don't want to be saved. I want you to shut the fuck up and either love me or don't. This is about you. You are not telling me to be better because you love me but because you love the idea of fixing someone. You get satisfaction from your faith which I find disgusting because just by my mere existence I am damned in your eyes. You don't know I'm damned. Why on God's green earth would I tell you enough about myself for you to know this. I'm not stupid. If you truly believe in a judgement day, let's leave the judgements for then.

#i am truly sorry if i make anyone mad about this i dont mean to discount your identity or beliefs #this is about one particular person who does not know me online and in fact does not 'know' me at all #and very dramatized for the sake of poetry/annoyance at this one person who none of you know #again i respect your beliefs and i know you very likely do not believe in the version of religion i present here #that most of you are forgiving and welcoming of people and understanding that people are made differently sometimes #i word it in a very angry way but i guess what i kinda mean by this is like #it feels useless to appeal to some people #or really just this one person who again none of you know #if you think you're this person you're not okay?#it feels useless to even explain myself to them because i know their worldview is limited such that they will feel a responsibility to 'fix #they said to me that when judgement comes for us all it will be like sinking into the sea on a raft #and that when you see the yacht of people who were 'prepared' for this you will do anything to get on #to escape the depths of eternity #how disgusting to think you can be prepared for death #i did not tell them this but i thought to myself that i would rather go down with my ship #that at the end of it all im too fascinated by what lies below the surface #which ive been sailing for so long but which has always been too murky to see through #how disgusting of myself too i suppose #to think that i can also meet death with such irreverence #words

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