#but also wtf you asshole

[crowhort]

Conway Twitty wrote a song about a man who is depressed and addicted to alcohol because his girlfriend left him... for Conway Twitty

[ilions-end]

haha what's going on with the scene where the spirit of achilles visits neoptolemus at night after troy has been sacked

after telling neo how proud he is of him, achilles delivers an impassioned speech about the importance of virtue and kindness. he mentions kindness like five times because life is short and kindness makes all the difference, and then "btw i know you've just killed literally all male trojans but i need you to take priam's hottest daughter and do a human sacrifice at my tomb because i just hate trojans sooo much. if you don't i'll make sure everyone drowns on the way home. k love you bye"

???????????

[valtsv]

Poor brits of color have good food though. Their food is not the type being mocked. It’s rich and poor white Brits, they want poc deported/denied, gone way out their way for their resources including spices and then made shit food despite all that. You pretending you don’t know the joke is…wanting white ppl to be persecuted so bad.

this has GOT to be a troll. 1. a large percentage of poor british people are people of color, who have the same accents and eat at least some of the same food that gets mocked 2. racism and classism are both bad??? lmao??? holy shit??? you're not off the hook just because you're making fun of white poor people 3. i'm an immigrant so trying to tell me that you're "only making fun of the shitty white people who colonized the world and want poc deported" isn't gonna fly because guess what i'm literally one of the people they want deported (despite being white myself) and i manage to not be a classist dickhead about it

[sieglinde-freud]

project of insanity finally done. i can play the game now

[moeblob]

Karen: LMAO every guy I meet reminds me of my big brothers that's so funny except if Paul is already my brother and you're also a brother that's a bit awkward, huh Hot bartender: THATS MOVING REALLY FAST AND I LIKE YOU AS A PERSON BUT - Karen: having my brothers date would be SO WEIRD Hot bartender: Well on the bright side I literally cannot speak more than five words to him so we aren't dating because he's so cute

(Everyone else: that is somehow the most depressing bright side we never want to hear)

[danzainosolitude]

Once again I read fanfiction that seems to have been precisely written to deal psychic damage to me.

[wundurrae]

i wish every oiler a night of bad dreams and restlessness and bobby the sweetest dreams and the most comfy bed ever 🫶🫶🫶

[messrsbyler]

because we don’t talk enough about modern mike wheeler writing skysolo fanfiction and posting it on ao3 and meeting online fan artist cleric-walker who draws scenes from mike’s stories, i’ve decided it is my duty to write a whole fanfiction about it. you’ve pushed me to do this

[coquelicoq]

me: how about...natori contracting some kind of youkai illness & matoba finding out about it & showing up to his set & natori dragging him off to his trailer bc it would be bad for his sparkly reputation to make the angry faces he feels coming on in front of his coworkers & matoba offering to help but in that smarmy condescending way that raises natori's hackles so he refuses but unfortunately he doesn't know how to cure it so matoba just keeps showing up every day & natori keeps carting him off to the trailer every time & being suuuuper cagey when people ask him who his visitor is & what if his coworkers get the wrong idea & matoba is fully aware of this & what if one day in the trailer natori reluctantly agrees to let matoba help him & matoba's like okay fine off with your shirt i gotta paint this spell circle on your bare chest & what if he's in the middle of doing that when they hear somebody opening the door to the trailer & obviously they don't want anyone to know what they're actually doing in there bc youkai-exorcist confidentiality so matoba's like no worries i got this & he KISSES NATORI omg classic kiss-as-misdirection trope & the person at the door is like whoops my b carry on gentlemen & after they've left natori is like wtf matoba????? & matoba's like well it's what they all thought we were doing anyway & your mouth was right there & it allowed me to cover the writing on your chest with my body & also you kiss people for a living so i figured it wouldn't be too complex for you & your part-time exorcist training to handle & natori recovers admirably quickly & is like WELL for your information that was a TERRIBLE kiss & no one is gonna buy that i professional makeout artist natori shuuichi would be swapping saliva with somebody on the reg without any of my considerable skill rubbing off on them & matoba's like so what do you propose we do about it & natori's like obviously i have to teach you how to kiss in case they come back -

the bedtime story fairy who thought this was gonna be an easy assignment: please just go to sleep im begging u have mercy ur brain cells are dying

[kamboree]

ohhhh you wanna draw a cute mermaid with a sizeable chest sooo bad (it doesnt have to be horny im just trans and i want sizeable chest)

your wish is literally my command. couldn't decide between palettes so u get 2 <3

[djevelbl]

I don't need nor do I want children — look at the world rn, it almost feels illegal to bring children into this shitshow that has no beach episode for anyone but the rich 😐

[hopeymchope]

Known rapist, sex trafficker, and self-proclaimed "alpha" Andrew Tate announes that men having sex with women is now "gay."

The only REAL men are those with tons of children. (And per his previous statements, it's also imperative that these REAL men don't financially or emotionally support any of these children.)

This level of being up one's own ass is so far beyond parody that it's one of the funniest fucking things I've seen in years.

Bitch, your so-called "genetic legacy" is gonna be disowning and denying any relation to you for centuries to come. Your primary "legacy" will be the standing pool of urine atop your grave.

[papa-evershed]

Rob James-Collier | Vera: Cold River

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

been thinking about how danse is who nora is endgame with in death shroud. it compels me

[shaniacsboogara]

poking at my dear evan hansen hyperfixation with a stick. STAY BACK!!! I ALREADY VANQUISHED YOU!!! WHY ARE YOU CREEPING BACK INTO MY MIND!!!

[natjennie]

i try to love everybody and you do you and live your life etc but sometimes julia does shit while playing video games that makes me seethe with genuine murderous rage like. wtf do you mean you're reading the coordinates differently. why are you doing the y-value first. were you born on a different planet.