#but also the idea of marg being her kid makes a lot of sense!!

[galaxywhale]

Hey I just saw that post you reblogged about matching two characters together who never met in canon and giving them elaborative backstories. And like, you mentioned Carver and Alistair (who I love btw) , and Carver and Morrigan and like!!!! I never even THOUGHT of them together but you tagging them felt like a punch over the head and I'm super intrigued now! You said you had some ideas for them? Do you mind sharing them, I'm super curious.

If not, I totally understand! Hope you have a good one in any case :)

Honestly it’s more of a Vibe than specific ideas but yeah I think they’d work really well together, especially in origin timeline! But here are some of my thoughts, keeping in mind I’m kinda rusty with my dragon age knowledge currently 🥲

First off, I think there’s the potential for some interesting stuff with their attitudes around family. Family is so important to Carver, but he also has a complex relationship with them. Family (and connection in general) is also important to Morrigan but in a different way given…y’know, Flemeth and Morrigan’s upbringing. I think that would be interesting to explore and the way they’d comfort and challenge each others views would fun.

Carver would let Morrigan show her softer side while she’d allow him to be honest and show *his* bitchier side (which neither of them would have been able to do as much given their “role” in their families). They’d encourage each other to show that other side to the, but also challenge each other and keep each other accountable.

Then Carver can have a kind of dumb, goofy sense of humour (especially after processing the trauma of Ostegar and Lothering) and Morrigan is snarkier and can be a lot blunter and I think they’d balance each other out. She’d roll her eyes at him but ultimately be entertained and Carver would enjoy her but also push back if she went too far and they’d bring out the other side in each other a bit more.

Plus if it’s warden!carver during origins, you can get Carver being Kieran’s father and I loooove Carver with kids! And then it makes Kieran relates to Hawke too which can allow for

And thennn I just personally love Morrigan with sweet men who can be a little goofy and encourage her to be open and I feel like Carver fits that, and I love Carver with assertive women who can boss him around if they wanted to (and he does want them too imo 😏, so like…Isabella, my oc Eila…) and Morrigan fits that too.

And idk, I’m not great at identifying exactly why I like things and explaining character thoughts haha but *marge simpson voice* I just think they’re neat

[scentedchildnacho]

He asked me what I did today so I told him I had coffee and I was going to go to church but it was a church is kind of always sparsely populated and they were a church through covid that was one of the most phobic and shut down so i decided to go away before staying my welcome too quickly

Then I came down to watch the modeling....which I hate being called a pervert I'm not gay and I'm never going to want to be masculine but I came down to watch the modeling thinking if I can think of positive statements and want to meet people professionally something will finally stop making me go to counter cultures I don't want to go to

Uhm the modeling for me was too fair of a statement for me to join....im suppose to want to be servile help and I don't enjoy that taste too much in food

That and none of it makes sense to me as public statements if you ask me it all wanted to go to baby showers or start having a baby

Baby baby baby baby hips baby birth butt baby strong legs baby baby baby baby baby baby

People like me do have a dry foresty pallete so that still wasn't indigenous difference like meal other then oat......tree meal...

That's me about the slander my mental condition receives....its if you would finally your hormones would regulate so I'm like if you would finally privatize and make me pay six dollars to think about her portrait

You don't put her on a pedestal and then you blame me when I'm like it's creepy to want unpaid strippers

They could stop retailing stuff and let them make money in inside clubs and it's always a huge problem

I have a credit history I do put her on a pedestal it's you you you did that beach stunt to her I consciencely object

He asked me why I don't have a job so I said I was a poor waitress and student and found out it's only certain family systems that may transition out of poor labor into status ideas.....and I personally required to do that till 62 have to be driven crazy and I don't like crazy.....and that's me about people my age that still work that way I think they join police and kill people to keep their job and I won't live that way

War gives those things and if you won't military then those things are given to who will

If you ask me a lot of jobs will be fine they read the jail manual for criminal research and they do a job and that's all they do but if people asked me to do unreformed service I take a birth control pill before let a government tell me they will murder the kid if I don't support it in whatever way I can

Then physical assault my mother endured so we could have some old house no thank you not ever

If you ask me the type of diet and health care required to support cardiac stability with reproductive consciousness to me current woman is so deprivated it has to be a constant discipline to achieve eco outcomes and so it's fine to just not want to have a pregnancy

The world is over populated....I mean it takes an international production team so I'm just like passive okay all this Asian stuff just wasn't brought here.. .

The truth is many women do have my problems and they just wanted to have the babies they to me are kind because they with a health condition at least have a child to hug and love them after all they went through so

My sister also could finally be kind instead of commanding when finally disciplined to realize she at least was select matched to Ben when you have had to understand harassment to work it out with not select match

Heyroth was not select matched

He said...........they wouldn't approve him for social security so I said Margaret thatcher is now understood as a cruel lady she just wouldn't like the public programs proposed to her so she wouldn't do anything

Marge was known for very unrepaired and decaying systems

Nothing has to be renewed if wealth won't

My life experience definitely sees the relevance of a tax because all class structures are involved in persecuting poverty and what causes poverty police.....so to me a social tax to apologize is very obvious but they don't want to be sorry so

I can't let a lot of the activity be sent home till a tax is imposed that stops allowing business to steal from disability and rule over it

Businesses around are not new structures and I don't see relevance to concept after concept in unrepaired buildings when people could go home

They create new business to replace prior and the prior keeps stalking to be with disabilities and they were told not correct that person is a human being

Im sorry but no one thinks tip concepts are correct for a human beings disability

He said he has never been anywhere his whole life a fast food chain wouldn't let him go to the rest room......so I told him that's not correct if their too much better then the street and should be allowed only private practice then they should forcibly get their business off the street and elevated

They should have to lock an elevator not a public street restroom

People like me had to go to better business reform and learn organizational process so to me it isn't neat and it's very meaningless they put a business on the street that doesn't have anything to do with street experience on a complex level so that's why I don't job that many people told to beach and I have to be a good person

So that's me about wab kinew they do have to endure a genocide they were told street is advanced practice and they act needy and still not talked to

They called them criminals so I do hope the occupation stops

Well I notice a lot of concepts act country club like so to me their country manners should go to actual private areas and stop harassing poor city people

After this much Disney do you actually know anything about what this city as a cultural center was or did a lot of animation try to regularly pornographize and slaughter

Enrique Aleman he was the first person from his family line to achieve paid status otherwise his family was always poor his family did it for generations and forcing systems civilly to stop making kids sit in feces was still called poor....he was the first it's green politically

Yes if my mother would not have afforded the house the government would have killed me of programs as a child instead of an adult and they now though are willing to try to get em young

That and I was called a mental so indigenous people did have to figure out how a community could progress and alleviate suffering so I'm not sure these cellular and microbiological possibilities were available priorly

And that's you think there was a great revolution of science and I don't.....

There isn't necessarily a treaty history that indigenous peoples thought their specialties were for white people essentially they mostly just knew maybe to stay hospitably separate

I have seen people who call themselves homeless do things to restrooms and so they punish everybody because they won't go to clinics about things that are a medical issue like massive cuts and other very inappropriate behaviour sometimes

Things like being allowed to cut oneself to me is a very wealthy arbitrary thing to do so I don't believe their homeless and just do it to give homeless people bad reputations and punished out

Otherwise I said I do see relevance here of Arabic laws to me it's just cash and if a job or street person lifts cash off me for necessities not a big deal.........but if it's credit or any type of information after noticing if I go missing there is an identity to just use for crime I don't trust anyone with any information it will all need to backstab so i don't ever carry information on me

They know they can't go down to the bloc and promise to take clients home honkey tonk and they still do it so I leave their building to realtors

After having to be homeless I don't ever want anyone ever to stalk me for personal information

I kind of think anyone would do it if they were my attackers...I think people steal what my identity could have had for a good cause so

If it was stolen for crime i could have my things in life but I think Phyllis chesler the schizophrenic is daddy and if I have my things poor children could be murdered

I support children and so they could at least send photos and tell me things they enjoy about life

Well it was never my time to be selected to be a birther and people who obtain things from someone others call a friend tend to hide that they live that way

It's okay it's better to me that there are children in the world living much better then this creepy sex trafficking place....that's at least hope the human condition stops being a murderous nothing

[quixoticrobotic]

how are we feeling about those evil worseties (mechakara and mirror margaret. wait we can just say margaret now cant we)? alongside awesome ghost friends (marc and moarte). i think marc and moarte hanging out is nice at least; it ties into marcs underlying mischievous streak and i think its a fun way to show thats still there :3

ok so i have a lot of Thoughts and Feelings about the latest arc and like. i try not to be too mean about comic book show bc like its one guy in his living room and like lewis has fundamentally different taste than me but like that being said

something about mirror!margaret's characterization makes me :\ extremely hard like i get it, religious abuse is like a serious issue that needs to be portrayed with tact and you might not wanna do that. but like. like in her first appearance she says shes "the good one" and the idea of a willing sacrifice who refuses to accept that she was manipulated and believes what shes doing is morally correct, and seeing her mirror self as "bad" because he grew angry and resentful towards a world that let him get hurt, and then turned that resentment towards the people who are his chosen family, the people who showed him people can be kind, is just, its just way more compelling than what we got!

like again, i like stories about the power of friendship and talking about your problems, lewis likes The Spider Man, the line between me disliking the writing and the writing being bad isn't clear. but like the fact that when the entity died linkara talked to this universe destroying cosmic force that had caused him and his friends so much suffering like it was a scared kid was astoundingly moving and captivating

and mirror marg isnt a monster, she has a god complex and is cruel but she is still basically a child behaving badly, her getting yeeted into the shady zone and like? that doesn't sit right with me?

also i want to make it clear i like mark (marc?) a lot! fandoms treat trans actors whos characters transition like shit and i dont want to do that!!!! the many many magic gun headcanons ive crafted over the years have always wildly diverged from canon like i basically created a "what if there was no dolorem" au and then made aus of that au and real trans actors feelings are more important than fandom tomfoolery! And Mark is fun and his character makes sense and seeing a trans character overcome hurt and trauma and grow up into a happy, well adjusted person fucking rocks!!!! also "longsocks of the damned" is one of my fave echolalias i will walk around the house gathering sewing supplies to make doll socks cheerfully repeating "doll socks of the damned ~"

also while upsetting i feel like the next time mechakara shows up is definitely going to be fun

[ask-missmargiezelle]

I love the fact that Michiko is Margie's favorite Hunter in your portrayal of her, because there is a theory tha Michiko is Margaretha's mother (I don't know if you believe but I do) so I find it incredibly comforting.

//Aww I’m so glad you appreciated that little detail! It’s really such an adorable theory to me, I love these two!

//For those who don’t know, the theory of Margaretha being Michiko’s child comes from this letter: many people interpret the “package” to be a very young Margaretha. Why? Well, Margaretha immigrated to Lakeside, and her guardians Eugene and Marjory are called her aunt and uncle, rather than mother and father — and they were never very kind to her. Additionally, Mr. Hayward is being asked to store this “package” for a long time, and whatever it is, it’s expensive; much like a child would be. It’s certainly possible!

//I try to keep things open to interpretation around here (mostly because I just can’t decide between all the interesting theories) — but regardless, I love the connection between Margie and Michiko! Both of them are immigrants to the lakeside village who don’t fit in (though Margie’s nation of origin is left very vague). They both leave their homes looking for adventure and love, but both are betrayed by prejudiced men. Michiko’s story, to me, is what Margaretha’s nearly became. I think if the two got to know each other, Michi would be very protective and supportive of her :)

[bandgeek4life8]

Guardians - chapter two the lost city of atlantis

Chapter 1

WC: 3, 453

Season 1, Episode 2: The Lost City of Atlantis

Previously on Guardian in Jim's POV "The Nightmares have emerged once more." Pabbie told everyone.

"GREAT GRONKA MORKA!!" Blinky exclaimed.

"And they attend to assimilate an army. They already have the witch Gothel, the bogeyman Pitch Black, the dragon tamer Drago Bludvist with his mother of dragons Red Death, the prince Hans of Southern Isles and Duke of Weselton, the cursed bear Mor'du, the Pirate "Captain Hook" Killian James, and the Boggan Mandrake. And I have a list of who they want. From my visions. But only two people I wish to say it to: Vendel and... James Lake Jr. Because she wishes it."

"Who wishes for me to know?" I asked him.

"Starling."

Some people are chosen for this life and have no choice but to accept its transgressions. Others spend their life completely in the dark about this life we lead. Some, like me, choose to live this life. It is a lot of work for anybody. Not just anybody can get into this life and survive its trials and tribulations. But we were born for this. To become guardians. But I'm not a guardian yet. I'm just an apprentice.

|{[INSERT_OPENING_SEQUENCE]}|

"Welcome to the first meeting of the Druidia Order." I announced.

"Did you have to name us after a planet in your favorite Star Wars movie?" asked the raven-haired time-traveller Wilbur Robinson.

"Spaceballs is not a Star Wars movie, Wilbur." Currently undercover spy, Walter Beckett told him.

Wilbur rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

"Did your dad teach you anything about Star Wars?" asked blonde enpath/ hockey-player from Wisconsin, Riley Anderson.

"Only that he hated the sequels, he loves the originals, and respects what the prequels tried to do." Wilbur said.

"Can we please get to the topic at hand please?" I asked everyone.

Everyone in the room grumbled out a yes and we continued with the precedings. Wow. That sounds way too formal for me.

"Well what can we do? We already made allies with the Arendelle trolls via Elsa and Anna. We had Grand Pabbie alert the Trollhunter of the Nightmares." said Ted Wiggins.

"Which means a group of you have to go find the essence stones." Megamind appeared with a plate of, "who wants cookies?"

"Are you growing soft on us, Meg?" Megamind basically growled at Wilbur for the nickname he used.

"I am trying to babysit Gru's oldest daughter and her friends." Megamind told him looking the kid dead in the eye.

"What do you know of the essence stones?" I asked him, ignoring the intense staredown happening between the two makes.

Megamind turned his attention away from Wilbur only for the time-traveller to blow a raspberry at him and Megamind to turn back and glare at him I rolled my eyes. The same old stupid antics. "I know where you can find the essence stone of the ocean."

"If you tell me we have to befriend Poseidon or-."

"It's in Atlantis." Megamind said.

"Or that." I facepalmed. "And how would you know that?"

"Because I have an evil underwater lair in the city of Atlantis." Cue another facepalm from me.

"And why...? You know what? I don't want to know. So how are we getting there?" I asked.

"It's not a matter of how we, but rather how who is getting there." Megamind said.

"That makes no sense whatsoever, dude." Hiro said as he walked into the room followed by Lucy Tuchi.

"Some of us will go on the mission while the rest research the rest of the essence stones." Megamind suggested.

"You know... your ideas are normally terrible. But this one is actually a good idea." Wilbur told him.

The alien growled. "Easy now, Megamind. When we heading out? And who is coming along for the ride?"

"You, Rayla, Ezran, Callum, Sisu, Hiccup, Jack, Light Furry, Walter, and Toothless." Megamind told us. "And you will leave tomorrow. After school."

"Alright. Before we do anymore planning, I need pizza." I walked over to where Hiro plopped the pizza on.

|{[INSERT_COMMERCIAL HERE]}| "

I cannot believe he has the audacity for this! He knows we're not on the best of terms, and yet he does this." I sighed.

"I'm sure he has a reason." said Hiro.

"It's Megamind. It's a stupid-ass reason." I told him.

Hiro sighed. "But you miss hanging out with Toby and Jim. And you-."

"Don't even finish that sentence. I know what you were going to say." Hiro gapped at me. "I know what you were going to say. Only three people know it. And one betrayed me."

My phone vibrated in my hoodie's pocket and I opened it up to see a text from my grandmother, Margaret. "Is that Marge? What she said?"

"She's wondering about the you-know-what with the you-know-who." I told him. She wants to know about James Lake Jr being the Trollhunter. Grandpa would not be pleased with this anyway. But he's dead. And he doesn't matter.

"You have gym next block right?" I groaned. Of course I forgot. And why of all days did we have to do the Pacer test today!

"And we're doing the pacer test today too!" I would have banged my head on a locker if we weren't coming from History. "Kill me now! Woe is me!"

"Stop being overdramatic. And I'm off my way to Robotics." Hiro said once we got to the hall where we would part ways.

"Don't take over the world of robotics without your team first." I called out to gim.

"Yeah, yeah. Just focus on making chemistry after gym, but preferably during." the smart-ass called back.

I'm gonna kill him one of these days. Just you wait, Hiro Hamada. I grumbled and continued on my way to the ends of the earth. Also known as gym. Because I lack the athletic ability of a worm. My arms are basically noodles before submerged in H20. I got dressed in my PE clothes and walked outside to the bleachers where I plopped myself down on. Gym. The one class I don't have my safety net to catch me. The one block where I feel alone. Completely and helplessly alone.

"Hey, [Y/N]. Mind if we sit here?" asked Toby.

It was just him and Jim. What on Earth are they up to? I scooted some ways away from my spot and patted the spot beside me. Jim took the spot beside me while Toby took the bench in front of us.

"We haven't hung out just the three of us in awhile, huh?" Toby remarked.

"You both seem busy since the semester started. I can't blame you for that one."  I told them. The pair shrugged at me, but it was a lying shrug. I would know. I do the same ones. "Anyway, what are we doing for our History Project, Jamie?" I looked over at him.

"I don't know. Wanna brainstorm some ideas after school?" Jim asked me.

"Can't. I have a family thing." Lying to them has gotten harder since I found out. Hopefully they don't catch. But they're idiots. They won't catch on... I hope. "I can come over tomorrow after school if you want."

"That... Th-th-th-that'll be gr-gr-gr-great." What's with the stammer? It's weird. "Oh, don't forget about Pig Zombies on Saturday."

"Don't worry. I have it all set in my calendar. So, what time is the movie?" I asked them.

Toby and Jim shared a look. Oh that is never good. "We don't actually know."

"Then, what are we going to do about Saturday?" I asked them.

"We're more of idea men." Like they're any close to being men. "Creating a plan is someone else's problem." Of course.

"You two haven't changed at all, have you? I'll get to work on that sometime this evening. You guys still have email, righr?" I asked them.

"Who still uses e-mail anymore?" Toby inquired.

"Good point. I'll just have Lucy drive us to the theater anyway." I replied. "So, how are you and Claire going, Jamie?"

"O-o-o-oh, m-m-me and Claire?" stammered Jim. That's strange.

"Yes, you and Claire. You two are dating, aren't you?" I asked him.

"Oh, y-y-yeah. We're g-g-g-good." Hmm. Peculiar. But Jim's always been like this when pertaining to Claire. Nothing suspicious about that.

I hope.

|{[INSERT_COMMERCIAL_HERE]}|

Jim

"So, you have a study date with [Y/N] tomorrow huh?" Claire teased me while we walked to Blinky's library.

"What-. Wait! You told her!" I exclaimed to Toby who was on my left side.

"Of course, I did. Dude, you've been hopelessly obliviously in love with this girl since she stole your first kiss on the monkey bars when we were nine. And she-."

"She clearly has feelings for you, but she's not gonna act upon them since you know we're fake dating and all that jazz." Claire said.

I sighed. "You're the smart one. Couldn't you have come up with something... um... better?"

"What? Because a wuss like you was going to ask her out if I didn't say we were dating?" Claire asked him, raising an eyebrow at her friend.

I sighed once more. She clearly had a point. And Tobes seemed to catch it too. "He tried to ask her if she wanted to go see Pig Zombie 6 for her sixteenth birthday, but dragged me along with them because he wussed out of calling it a date."

Claire tapped her chin in thought. I do not understand girls. Then, she did the thing where you smack your fist against your hand in an aha! idea moment. Which is what transpired next. "I have a perfect idea for your movie date on Saturday."

"Am I going to regret this?" I asked her.

"I hope not. I'm helping you whether you want me to or not." Yea me! Internal frown.

We made it Blinky's library in which the four arm troll was talking animatedly to Vendell. About Essence Stones? What the fuzz buckets are those?

"Um, what are the Essence Stones?" I piped up.

"The Essence Stones are the only thing that can combat the Oncoming Storm." Vendel explained.

"Which is why we should be looking for them! We already know where one is! The Sea Stone!" Blinky told him.

"I already told you the Starling has this under control. This is her fight. Not ours. We shouldn't-."

"But then why have Pabbie tell us about the resurgence anyways?!" Blinky cut him off. I don't think Blinky has ever interrupted Vendel before. This is a first.

"Because to warn us of an even greater danger, Blinkous!! One that we have to face on our own! As Trolls!" the elder roared.

I never saw a look of fear as intense as the look that crossed Blinky's face when Vendel told him that. A greater danger? Even Aaarrrggghh! and Draal had the same look as Blinky. What did it all mean? Vendel left the library.

"I don't care what the goat says. We're getting the Sea Stone." Blinky told us.

"And how do we acquire it?" asked Claire.

"Hate Gyre." Aaarrrgghh! cried. Oh.

"And where would we find the Sea Stone?" Toby asked. "It's underwater right? And we can't breathe in water? So is it in an aquarium? Washed up on a beach?"

"I'll tell you where when we get to the Gyre." Claire, Toby, and I shared a look before shrugging our shoulders and following Blinky to the Gyre.

When we got there, we reached the Gyre and hopped in. "So, where are we going?"

"Under the sea. In an underwater palace where there is no water inside located in what you humans refer to as The Bermuda Triangle. Get ready for Atlantis." And before the three of us could protest, Blinky put in the coordinates and we zipped off towards... did he really say Atlantis? And the Bermuda Triangle?

But I didn't have time to question it as we arrived in a palace? And our clothes were soaking wet. But we never submerged in water? You know what? I shouldn't question it. Me and my friends huddled for warmth. It'll be awhile before we're dry. But why isn't- you know what? Never mind. I don't care.

"Okay, so where do we go first?" asked Toby.

"We head for the treasure room. The Jewel of Atlantis is the Sea Stone." Blinky told us.

"Why are we wet, but you aren't?" asked Claire.

"No clue." Blinky shrugged his shoulders.

The three of us grumbled but followed after Blinky with Aaarrrgghh! and Draal taking the rear. This is going to be a long evening. Our little group trudged, our squeaky footprints giving our location to anyone who would be here. And I think someone was here. Because a familiar ball of silver and blue was charging at us. Not us. Me. Followed by a march larger greenish-blue dragon.

"Hi, Azymondias." I said to the baby dragon when he jumped into my arms.

"I see you humans have already met the Prince. Starling's Zym seems to like you Mr Lake." the green-ish blue dragon said. Um... do dragons normally...

"YOU TALK?!?!" Thanks for that, Tobes.

"Of course, I do. I'm Sisu. Starling sent me after Little Azymondias to make sure he stayed out of trouble." Why aren't Blinky, Aarrrgghh!, and Draal freaking out about there being another dragon? And the elf being here?

"You six, now-seven, looking for the Treasure Room?" asked Sisu.

I shivered as a breeze went by. Why was there a breeze? We're in a dry castle underwater! This is just too weird.

"We were headed that way right now!" Blinky told the dragon.

Azymondias coughed. Or sneezed? I don't know. But he zapped me and I yelped and I'm... dry? Well alot dryer than before. Uh, thank you. Living dryer thay could kill me at any given moment. But you're still cute. So you're forgiven if you do.

"Well I wouldn't go that way! That's where Meg put his evil lair at." Sisu told us.

"Lair?" "Meg?"

"Meg is what the time-traveler calls Megamind. And he placed a lair here when he was going through his 'evil' phase." I did not know Dragons did air quotes.

"Time Traveler? Like the Doctor? Or Loki?" askes Toby.

"Looks like a mix of Matt Smith and Loki as a tween with too much hair gel. Alright, kids follow me." Sisu told us.

Zym appeared on my shoulder, wrapping his small body around on my shoulder and we followed the hopping dragon towards the treasure room. We had reached the treasure room, avoiding all the traps (that was on the ceiling for some strange reason). We arrived there. And Sisu peered inside before letting us enter. Strange.

But I couldn't help peering over Sisu's sboulder "Are you really angry that the Trollhunter keeps unknowingly stealing your pet?" That sounded like... no it can't be.

"Azymondias is not my pet. My pet sounds like I chose to take care of him. The bundle of zappy madness chose me to take care of him. So if anything, I'm his pet." Please tell me that's not who I think it is. But the-I'm guessing- Startouch Elf looks nothing like her. Not one bit. Well maybe except for the nose. And the eyes.

"You make absolutely no sense. And yet you love him anyway." the other voice said. A male with slick-back hair. This must be the time-traveler Wow. Sisu was spot on.

"Kids, easy now. We wouldn't want this to get into the wrong hands. Not this close to the Cotillion." A brunette male that appeared to be the oldest of the group. Why does he look so familiar to me?

"I have a question for you, pig snout. Meg said you wouldn't be here. Why the hell are you here? And why are you even here?" the elf asked.

"I stowed away because none of you are smart." the time-traveller said.

"Says the royal dumbass." the female elf sighed. "I'm so young and yet I feel so old." she emphasized. I was half expecting her to do a dramatic fall like they always seem to do in soap operas notthatIwatchsoapoperasinthefirstplacethat'sabsurd.

"I already knew that, dumbass." time-traveler said.

"Go on, Trollhunter." Sisu used her tail to push me toward the elf's group to retrieve the essence stone. "Introduce yourself."

And suddenly I stumbled upon the room making the group's attention turn to me. "Um...hi." Cue the awkward wave. "I'm... James Lake Jr? I'm the... Trollhunter." I held out the Amulet of Merlin. I could practically sense Toby and Claire facepalming at this.

"Starling, I think this one is for you to handle." I now noticed the brunette boy that stood beside the other elf. Is that... Callum Schlott?? Um... I hope if that is him, he doesn't tell [Y/N] about this.

"I am the one they refer to as Starling as you must know. And we don't need you here. To help us." The girl's hand were running up and down a strand of her waist length periwinkle hair. [Y/N] did the same thing when she had long hair. Not the time Jim.

"I think we do. Because the Seastone is missing if you've forgotten." the other elf said. She sounds like Rayla. And sort of looks like her too.

"THE SEASTONE IS GONE!?!?!?" Blinky exclaimed.

"Unfortunately so. Now, one advantage turns out to be a setback." I didn't notice the other brunette who had a black dragon that was acting like a cat by his feet.

"Do you have any leads?" asked Claire as she stepped forward.

"Just a Roman Penny. No clue from where though." Starling told us. "Now, I think it's time you kids return to California. Don'tyouthink."

|{[INSERT_COMMERCIAL_HERE]}|

"So Atlantis was a flopp?" I had already told Draal about the whole atlantis situation.

Luckily mom had another night shift at the hospital, so Draal could walk around freely while I made dinner for myself. Elbow Pasta and Meat Sauce it appears to be.

"Yes, it was, Draal." I turned the TV on and started flipping through the channels to find the one I wanted. "At least, I met Starling. She was not what I was expecting."

"Most elves aren't. You humans expect them to be small and cute because of the Claus, but they aren't." Draal told me.

"Actually, I think," I found what I was looking for. The French food competition show the World's Greatest Chef Competiton. "she was the exact opposite of what all of you were saying. Sure she was a tad harsh to us, but I think she didn't want to involve us in the Essence Stones. Like she didn't want anymore added help. I don't know." A knock sounded on the door.

"Were you expecting anyone?" asked Draal.

"Not that I know. Toby and Claire wouldn't knock. They'll just barge on in." I told him.

And before I got to the door, the door opened to reveal a boy with white hair, incredibly pale skin wearing a blue sweatshirt and brown trousers. "Don't be such a pussy, Hiccup." That was Sisu.

"Yeah, we're only here since Zym wants the trollhunter to be his dragon rider and to train him how to combat magic." white hair said.

"Um... what are you doing at my house?" I asked them as I held my wooden spoon in my hand, ready to strike them if necessary.

"You and Punzie would be great friends, squirt." The platinum blonde ruffled my brown hair to make it messy. My hair now looks like the dragon boy's hair.

"We're here to train you. I'm Hiccup. And this is Jack. Jack Frost." Wait. What? I'm lost. "I live over in Berk Manor. And you have wandered in a den where you cannot get out of." the brunnette introduced.

"Which is why Starling didn't want you to get involved. By trying to help us with the Seastone, you and your friends have put a target on your back. Starling didn't want that. But now we have to help you. To train you. Hiccup here is a Dragon Rider. And even though Azymondias isn't big enough to be ridden. He will be. I suspect sooner than you think, so he's going to train you to ride him. And I and many others are going come here to help you train against magic. Since the people who will come after you to kill you will have magic." Jack Frost told me. Now I'm really lost.

"So let's begin."

@trollhuntersfanatic

[lesbian-bird-talks]

As someone who is constantly looking for vocaloid headcanons, give them all please :)

AAHHH I HAVE A LOT

Miku

Has a bit of an ego, because what 16 year old with international fame wouldn't?

People expect her to be super squeamish and hate bugs until they see her squash a giant roach with no hesitation or pick up a spider

Bugs are her frends :)

With that said she hates things like fish and frogs and anything slimy. Not scared of it just thinks they're gross.

Has a weird rivalry going on with Rin and Len. She refuses to actually acknowledge them as her competition because "that's childish and I'm not a child anymore >:[" but also gets 100x more competitive when either of them gets involved.

Girl boss. Has a big personality, good work ethic even if she acts like a brat sometimes, doesn't take shit from other people.

I think she'd be very similar to Nobara from Jujutsu Kaisen tbh, but slightly less crass.

She wears her heart on her sleeve, and tends to use her hair to emote. She'll tug on it a bit when she's angry or overwhelmed, use it to hide her face when she's embarrassed or scared

Speaking of which she isn't AS devious as Rin and Len but she definitely gets up to some hijinks. Some hoodlum activity.

She goes with the twins feigning that she's there to keep them in line and then when they're like "we should put firecrackers under Meiko's toilet seat :]" she is suddenly deaf.

"god they're such kids 😒" she says as she is holding back laughter at the idea of the firecrackers going off.

I also just think that becoming a pop star at the ripe old age of 16 would have forced her to grow up rather fast. So she can be mature but everyone makes her feel safe enough to let out the Gremlin™ just a little. As a treat.

Her easy to approach, affable face she puts on for shows and shit is definitely a facade though, and behind all that she's just a girl who really likes French fashion and reading romance manga.

OKAY ADDING MORE NOW! I posted this,,,so long ago Jesus I kept forgetting to come add onto it.

(idk how to add breaks on mobile pretend there's one right here)

Luka

You know those characters who usually have their eyes closed and only open them when they get serious? Yeah I imagine her personality being like that

Perpetual Big Sister Smile™. Always looks gentle and friendly, but gets much more threatening when she needs to be. Other vocaloids take bets on whether she runs an underground fighting ring or if she's secretly a member of the yakuza

In reality she's just a gentle soul who learned quickly to not let others mistake her kindness for weakness. She is the opitome of "be soft but be ready"

Just Be Friends is a song she wrote about Kaito, they used to date until she realized she was a lesbian. The two of them are still very close! Ice cream man and his short, pink-haired body guard.

Being friends with Kaito means she's developed a sixth sense for when people are about to get hurt, since he's a bit of a klutz. Whenever Rin and Len's pranks are about to backfire she's right there to stop everything from exploding in their faces. Literally.

But she tends to let most of it slide as long as nobody is getting hurt. She enjoys watching the chaos unfold, and she even encourages it if she can get away with it while avoided an earful from Meiko.

Bribes the younger vocas with candy and comic books to do her bidding.

Super competitive. She goes so fucking hard on DDR and if you manage to beat her she is already thinking about at least 5 ways to kill you. You cannot escape. She will find you no matter where you run.

Her relationship with her mom is more like that of a sister's. Which is nice is some ways, but it also means she kinda raised herself. She's very independent and dislikes getting help from others because she's used to doing everything on her own. Meiko often forces her to take breaks or pairs her up with someone else.

She dislikes liquors but she really likes cocktails. Her favorite is a strawberry sangria margarita.

She thinks it's really funny to pretend like she isn't Luka when someone comes and asks for a picture.

"hey are you Luka?? Luka Megurine??"

"Huh? Who is that?"

And she has on merch with a picture of her face when she says that.

By extension she also likes to troll on her own fan forums

"Luka's music is mid at BEST :/" she posts on one of her 12 reddit accounts

Overall she's just a v fun person, though she tends to be very quiet when around people she's unfamiliar with.

Also her little cousin is Peko because I said so

Rin

Number one of the dynamic duo! She's older than Len by about an hour and she will never let her twin live that down.

Rin is probably the mastermind behind most of their mischief. Len isn't dumb, but he's more of an action guy than a planning guy.

She's not super into fashion, so dressing up in costumes isn't really her thing. She doesn't understand why Miku gets so into it.

With that said she isn't necessarily a tomboy, I'd just say she's more rough around the edges having grown up with the kind of brother who would give her wet willies and smash food in her face. She knows how to play dirty, literally.

She still very much likes to go shopping and wearing pretty things

Shes just her very authentic self, and doesn't care much about whether people percieve her as masculine or feminine.

That being said though she really enjoys sports. Not watching but playing. She's the best athlete at her school, which you think would translate well to dancing but,,,,

Shes not a BAD dancer, but she definitely has to work harder to nail choreography than anyone else does.

Moving to a rhythm feels different than running, following instructions feels different than making on-the-fly decisions. So dancing is much harder for her than tennis or basketball.

She's very smart though, and can make pretty fast decisions on her feet. This has saved her from many a costume malfunction or technical issue on stage.

Once she gets in the zone she's pretty calm and collected, but when she's not particularly focused it's pretty easy to push her buttons.

She's not very good at talking to people in general. She's blunt and can be overly-honest, and she's easy to tease and get mad. She fears people picking her apart, so she tends to take criticism more personally than she should unless it comes from Len, Meiko, or Kaito.

While she knows how to get attention, she doesn't know how to get unwanted attention off of her without brute force or speed. She leaves more delicate matters to Len.

She still very much enjoys having people's focus on her, though. Having to get overshadowed by Miku left her with a bit of an inferiority complex, so when the spotlight is on her it feels like her hard work is being noticed.

She has AMAZING breath control. She's a fantastic singer.

She heard about Beyonce being made to run while singing to train her lungs and just added that into her exercise routine.

Also because she's so into sports she's also fairly strong. She could beat your ass. She could beat my ass. She's already beaten flower's ass.

I don't think her and Flower would get along super well, namely cuz I think that Flower and LEN wouldn't get along and she doesn't like people who disrespect her brother.

Her and Len are very close, they don't really have any sort of rivalry going on. They just encourage eachother to be better so they can both achieve their goals.

Rin's dream is to own a house on the coast in California. Her favorite place to be is the beach in summer, and there it's like that all year round.

Len

NUMERO DOS!

As I said before: action man.

This kid rarely ever thinks before he acts. He's impulsive and has poor self-control, so he just pursues any whim he has at any given point.

This combined with his impish desire to pester the people he's closer with leads to a lot of scoldings. From both his parents and Meiko.

Beyond him being a big prankster, he's just a great performer. He's always super high energy, really interactive with the crowd. He's the only one of the vocaloids that streams games in his free-time so he can hang out with his fans more often.

He is very open with his feelings about the people who support him, and is constantly thanking them for being there to help him realize his dreams.

He feels that way about Rin, Miku, Meiko, Luka, and Kaito too, but he's also very easily embarrassed and can't say it to their face.

So instead he's the type to leave them gifts and notes and then get really embarrassed and run away if they try to thank him in-person.

He also has a very one-sided crush on Miku, tends to try and act cool around her which never really works.

She is not the only girl he wants attention from, though. He pretty openly flirts with his fans that are around the same age as him. Sometimes he does it to make Miku jealous which, again, doesn't really work.

But he is incredibly stubborn, and it is near impossible to get him to do something he'd rather not unless you provide some sort of incentive

He's also very much so a Young Boy™

He wants to be seen as a cool guy, the kind who goes to parties and that's always surrounded by girls. Cuz that's just kinda what he thinks success for a man looks like.

So he has to be bribed to wear anything he decides is too girly

Once snuck off to a party, somehow managing to get into a space with a bunch of adults. He ended up getting into real trouble when some half-drunk men recognized him and decided to scare him. He ended up hiding in the bathroom while they pounded on the door to freak him out.

Only ever told Rin about that cuz he knew she wouldn't judge.

Kaito

If Luka is the big sibling who went off to college and comes back to visit often, Kaito is the one who's still at home.

Especially to Miku, who's an only child and kinda latched onto him.

Luka is the chaos enabler, Kaito stops chaos from happening just with his presence. Him existing in the vicinity of the younger vocas is enough to calm them down.

He's very emotionally mature, but has a very child-like nature that people tend to be drawn to.

Imagine Iketeru from "Life Lessons with Uramichi Oniisan", except he learns what sex is and drinks alcohol. That's Kaito.

He's just very wide-eyed and whimsical despite being close to his 30's.

Though he can be kind of a klutz and say things without thinking, but he doesn't have a negative bone in his body so his lack of filter doesn't get him into trouble really

Its either a compliment or the kinda thing that makes people go "awe honey..."

He's just a very good guy. The goodest guy.

He went to the same highschool and college as Luka, they dated until graduation when Luka came out to him as a lesbian. He was upset, but incredibly supportive of her! They took a break from talking, but they've reconnected and he sees her as his most trusted friend.

Very secure in who he is. He's incredibly reliable and self-assured, always pushes himself to try his best!

He definitely doesn't live very lavishly, probably just a comfortably-sized apartment in a nicer area. He likes old lady furniture, you know the kind with the floral pattern? That's his SHIT right there.

Probably has a curiosity cabinet filled with cool things he found on the street and would pick up to take home.

Very close with his dad! They talk often, his dad owns literally every piece of merch and attends all his performances.

He perpetually smells like vanilla and honey.

Everytime someone mentions it, he just laughs and says thank you, but he doesn't know why. He doesn't use any body wash or cologne that smells like that. He doesn't bake. Even after years he's still confused.

He's not aware of how attractive he is and has made people blush a lot with how much he enjoys physical affection

Imagine getting hugged by a kind teddy bear of a man with a pretty face who smells like vanilla, he is unaware of the kind of affect he can have on people.

Meiko was one of these people before they became friends, now she's become immune to his casual toucheyness. That just comes with being someone he cares about!

Meiko

The queen herself

Okay so first I headcanon in this universe where they're part of a talent agency, Meiko isn't a singer anymore. She quit and took up a job as a talent manager.

She had seen too much of the dark side of the music industry, getting creepy fan mail and gifts and people threatening her safety. All before she hit 18, it had kinda fucked her up.

She was going to quit entirely, but when Miku got scouted the idea of leaving her with nobody to help her navigate her v quickly growing stardom left a pit in her gut.

So she stayed to train and manage her, and ended up taking a v motherly role for everyone who came after her. Minus Luka and Kaito.

She feels very responsible for the well-being of all the younger vocas under her management. She even goes as far as to filter their fanmail personally, reading through it before handing it off to them.

She doesn't want them to get hurt in the same way she did

In terms of her relationship with Luka and Kaito, she's fairly close with them both, but she relies on Luka much more.

Luka's more laid-back attitude to life provides Meiko with a fresh outlook where she'd otherwise feel confused, frustrated, and stuck.

Which happens a lot for Meiko, who is constantly wondering if she's doing enough. For herself, for her career, for these kids she feels responsible for.

Though despite her neurotic nature she still finds time to relax. One of her biggest hobbies is still song-writing. She writes a lot of songs for Luka, she'll often play the piano while Luka sings when the pink-haired lady stops by Meiko's place for a visit.

She also enjoys learning to cook, and while Kaito doesn't bake the two of them have bonded over making food. The three of them meet at Meiko's house regularly to have drinks and try a new recipe and just talk.

The younger vocas don't often get to see a softer side of Meiko, though. She's never outright mean to them, but she takes their safety and development very seriously.

She monitors their schedules closely and keeps a pretty tight leash on them all when it's time to get down to business.

She's pretty easy to loosen up tho all they gotta do is look at her with them big ol' eyes.

She loves them too much to say no when they're begging like that.

And she's also good at noticing small details about everyone. She has a good memory too. If you passed your exam last week you bet your ass she's getting you a present, she won't let success go by without her letting you know she's proud of you.

She spends a lot of time worrying, but overall she's very satisfied with her life.

[aflyingcontradiction]

The Magnus Archives Relisten: Episode 111 - Family Business

Julia: It’s not a… Trevor doesn’t like using the book. I don’t either. Makes me feel off. Dead should stay dead.

"Dead should stay dead" is a very apt statement for an avatar of the-process-of-methodically-making-things-dead but also I can't say that I disagree, exactly.

Gerard: Nice lighter. You a spider freak, then?

Jon should perhaps have at some point gone "Huh." about the mysterious lighter, shouldn't he? But then again, neither did I.

Gerard: Yeah, the world changes in horrible ways. For you. I’m a book.

This seems perfectly fair, you know!

Gerard: She travelled light. Left things behind.

Oh, ouch, the tone he says that in makes me want to give him a hug, even if he is currently a book. Yeah, she left "things" behind for sure.

Gerard: Well, Fairchild’s just a name, they’re not really family. The Lukases, though, yeah. Thing is, it’s harder than it looks. What’s out there… doesn’t care about blood. Jon: Well, I-I mean, except for the vampires…

I want to say "Oh, Jon" but I can't guarantee I wouldn't have made the exact same dumb comment.

But mum didn’t need the help, and after me she wasn’t able to have kids again, so she killed him in his sleep to practice her bookbinding. I guess she failed. I always thought he was in here, but when I eventually got hold of it, there wasn’t a page in there. - Gerard

That's because Gertrude did for him what Jon later does for Gerard. Weird sort of parallel, that, the father and son, both rescued from undeath by the Archivist of their time.

We met with things that almost made me throw up, I was so afraid, and she’d talk to them like old friends. It was awful, but I suppose in many ways, it worked. Whenever I tried to run away the ‘real’ world seemed so… ignorant I could never be a part of it. So I did my best to find my place within my mum’s world.

God, he was just so fucked up from the start, his whole life tied to the Entities - his death, too - even though he tried so hard to make his own choices.

And honestly, there was a part of me which thought a life in prison was an alright price for freedom.

Damn, that's a gut punch of a line.

Gerard: And if you’re having an omelette for lunch, not every moment is spent eating the omelette. Some things take preparation. Especially if, you know, your spatula has a bit of free will.

I love this run-away metaphor, I really do. Especially the spatula with free will.

Gerard: A lot of it’s kind of arbitrary. I mean, why are navy blue and sky blue both called blue, when pink’s an entirely different colour from red? Y’know? I don’t know, that’s just how it works.

It's kind of funny in an almost-too-perfect way that this is the example that Gerard picks because colours are one of THE go-to examples people always go to for unexpected cultural-linguistic differences and the way they change how we perceive the world. The blue thing, for instance: Russian actually DOES have two entirely separate words for dark blue and light blue (maybe other languages do too, I just happen to know some Russian). I wonder if Johnny knew that when he was writing these lines and this was perhaps deliberate.

Gerard: O-Of course, with these things it’s not a simple spectrum, y’know, it’s more like – Jon: An infinite amorphous blob of terror bleeding out in every direction at once. Gerard: Now you’re getting it. Jon: Like colours, but if colours hated me.

If I add a "Favourite quotes" segment to an episode it's mostly for things that need very little context to feel like pieces of poignant writing and this needs a lot of context but if it weren't for that, the description of "Like colours, but if colours hated me" would DEFINITELY go into the favourite quotes segment!

Gerard: Needing to know, even if your discoveries might destroy you.

An explanation of an almighty terrifying fear Entity. Also an explanation of the reason I try and mostly fail to keep out of the comment section.

Jon: Which is… spiders a-and control. Your, your will not being your own.

I've said this before but the Web always struck me as a bit funny in that way. There's that deep existential fear of being manipulated and controlled from the outside ... and also spiders. Someone needs to make one of those Marge Simpson "I just think they're neat" memes except with the labels "The Web" and "Spiders".

Jon: Yeah, I-I mean, are we really so afraid of being… eaten? Of our bodies being all twisted up, i-i-is that… I mean, some people sure, but… how is it one of the fourteen great fears? Gerard: What? You think people are so special it’s only our fear that counts?

Oh my god, the revelation that some of the fears originate from animals just left me open-mouthed when I first heard it. I'd never even considered it and it's SUCH A GENIUS IDEA! IT MAKES TOTAL SENSE! It's an animal fear and it gets extra-super-weird when it hits humans!

Jon: I suppose. And again, when an animalistic fear touches a human… Gerard: You get the Predator’s granddad out there.

Pffft. I love it. Trevor "The Predator's Granddad" Herbert.

Gerard: They… kind of ‘shift’ the world, just enough for the Power to come through. Merge with reality. Some say, or well, they guess, that it could bring other entities through with them.

Oh god, I didn't realise they seeded this idea THIS EARLY ON!

Gerard: Well, think of it this way: right now all the entities have to act like a hunter, they pick off the weak ones around the edges, the ones that wander too close, and the rest of the time they have to just graze on whatever fear we all passively give away. Jon: And if one of the rituals succeeds? Gerard: The world becomes a factory farm.

... gotta hand it to Gerard, his analogies WORK. Perhaps a little too well, that image really hits the target.

Gerard: Said she thought she’d found him. I tracked him down, but it… well, it wasn’t him. (...) It was just some pathetic old man. Couldn’t have been him.

How on earth does Jon maintain enough of a pokerface to not make Gerard suspicious right then. I mean, this is amazing. Gerard kicked the shit out ouf ACTUAL LEITNER ("Three years ago, I made the mistake of spending a full night outside my safehouses. I was almost beaten to death by an angry goth.") and concluded that he couldn't possibly be Leitner because the man responsible for filling so much of his life with fear and misery surely had to be IMPRESSIVE and POWERFUL, not just some whiny old jerk.

My impression of this episode

This episode is very info-dumpy, but somehow it bothered me a lot less than the other info-dump episode (the Leitner episode). Perhaps it's just because I enjoyed Gerard's voice (again expressed personality rather than voice-voice, I feel the need to clarify this every time because it gets confusing when you're talking about a podcast rather than a book) more and also because learning about the fear categories was genuinely a fun revelation. I mean, give me categories to play with and I will absolutely play with the categories! (Me and most of the rest of the fandom...) All in all, it was a fairly skillful info-dump actually, even though it was very clearly a bit dumpy. Aside from the infodump there's also a lot of plot development, though, and Gerard's statement is genuinely interesting. Damn, I feel bad for Gerard, he was just so fucked from the start.

[janiedean]

I was wondering what you feel about the opinion that GRRM hates feminine/non-warrior women because they (Catelyn, Cersei, Sansa) are written with intentional flaws while his warrior girls (Brienne, Arya) are not? Do you agree with that? That Brienne and Arya have no flaws? It was some dumb meta about how the world is against Brienne, but she never does harm to the world, so she's a bad character and GRRM is a misogynist or something. (1/2)

I disagree obviously. Just because Brienne is not a demon doesn't mean she doesn't have flaws or she's a bad character lol. Like... why can't we have an angel in a world of monsters? What's wrong with that? Are these people jealous that Brienne is one of those pure character that their faves are not, so they feel like dismissing her as a bad character to make themselves feel good? I'm asking you because I know you love Catelyn and Brienne so I know you're the best person to ask this. Ty (2/2)

... I mean this has a long answer to give but this *meta* seems to me like it was written by someone who has no idea what they’re talking about when it comes to who grrm hates in his writing or his supposed misogyny because they have it all wrong and I think you pretty much guessed the point, but in order, let’s... tackle this one by one:

grrm doesn’t at all hate cat and sansa and their flaws are... flaws in the sense that he’s writing them like good people who aren’t 100% perfect but like.. sansa’s *flaws* from the beginning are stuff that’s common to most 12yo girls in existence and she overcomes them and she’s generally a good and kind and caring person whose main trait is that she’s good and kind and stays like that so how exactly now she’s written... like you’re supposed to hate her? bc she’s not. grrm never wanted you to hate sansa. he wrote her like a realistic 11-15yo but like most of us were like that at that age or have had friends who were like that, so... what the fuck. catelyn.... like guys the one heavy flaw she has is her treatment of jon but she’s written as a smart person who’s trying to live in a misogynistic society as best as she can and she’s written like a tragic character but grrm obviously likes her/loves writing her, it’s.... like if you read her chapters you can see how much work/love/craft went into them and how he worked on her bg very carefully also she is more of a protagonist than ned until asos when it comes to the stark side like.... how is giving her human flaws meaning he hates her?? grrm doesn’t hate her. the fact that she and brienne end up doing the knightly/lady sworn sword thing is even more of a proof he doesn’t but more on that later;

cersei... well I mean grrm obv doesn’t like cersei that much but a) he’s written a version of that character at least thrice already including the asoiaf one so I think he has an ex like that that he doesn’t particularly remember fondly or smth but like... she’s written to be a villain. she’s a villain. she’s a very well-crafted/thought out villain with a realistic background but diff. from cat and sansa she’s there to be the antagonist period, and just like... cersei and cat are aesthetically the same archetype and they couldn’t be more different so idk wtf are people smoking when saying that and if they can’t read cat chapters without fandom-hates-her glasses idk what to tell them;

brienne and arya have flaws are we serious, like arya has the flaws everyone has at that age (too impulsive/tends to judge people very fast/is too fixed on things/doesn’t listen to people etc) but like she’s fucking nine when it starts and she gets traumatized to hell and back, like arya’s sl to me is creepy af because no 12yo should be like that and it’s a very good trauma exploration but like....... she has faults but she’s not a bad person for obvious reasons as in SHE’S A KID same as sansa same as EVERYONE UNDERAGE IN THESE BOOKS except partially joffrey and even he has a background that explains how he is, like.... arya and sansa are supposed to be written in an equally sympathetic but specular way because they have opposite ways of reacting to trauma ie sansa holds on to her kindness arya gets progressively detached because she has to kill people to survive but you’re not supposed to hate either of them? honestly grrm wrote them with the exact same stakes, anyone who thinks it’s qualitatively different needs to go back and reread it with some intellectual honestly;

brienne... I mean we serious? the thing with brienne is that she’s a fundamentally good person who is written to become the ultimate example of a good knight™ and who is supposed to restore decency to the title after the institution has crumpled into the dirt, so... she’s... good, same as dunk is in the novels, but like: lmao she has a lot of faults, first thing that at the beginning she judges everyone on sight and sees everything in black and white, she has zero preservation instinct and nonexisting selfesteem because she thinks her life isn’t worth her vows and she thinks she’s not fit for anything she tries to do and would have died for a guy who danced with her once like sorry that’s not healthy, which are all things,... she’s... getting over.... because she has a character arc, but saying that brienne isn’t realistic or doesn’t have faults is ridiculous because she is;

now, this concept that grrm is misogynist is idiotic because a guy who has an insane number of female povs - some of which are the same trope ie brienne and arya - and have all a distinct different personality and voice and none of them are like too idealized or too evil and are to a level relatable means he’s everything but because a misogynyst wouldn’t be able to pull that off. like, in any other book brienne and arya would have been the same character, in his they’re not, so maybe like... give him some credit in the sense that the moment half of your povs are well-written realistic female characters and the ones without povs are equally well-written/manage to be fan faves (ie marg and olenna) maybe he’s just... not... a misogynist nor hates women so that’s out of the way;

re cat and brienne: like... saying ‘ah he hates catelyn’ when catelyn is literally the first *lady* who treats brienne like a friend/peer/person she cares about is completely fucking idiotic because guess what if you’re like brienne usually most Attractive Girls™ the way cat is are not your best friends in life (I mean c. calls her a cow and they didn’t even meet on paper lmao and it’s obvious from b’s povs that she has bad experiences with other women in general), so the fact that cat actually sees her worth, accepts her as her sworn sword doing a thing that’s usually just between men, trusts her with her daughters’ lives, thinks she’s a better knight than jaime could be and treats her as it befits her station (in riverrun she had dresses made for her but brienne wouldn’t wear them) and is actually good to one of the few good people in these books who gets treated like dirt by most others should tell you exactly what grrm thinks of catelyn, ie nothing too bad, and that she’s a good person who fucked up on one thing that the narrative knows and doesn’t excuse, but like.... lmao that entire argument falls flat just for that;

Are these people jealous that Brienne is one of those pure character that their faves are not, so they feel like dismissing her as a bad character to make themselves feel good? you’re on to smth but as I ranted on twitter once: this all falls again to the fact that people Cannot Accept The Fact That An Ugly Girl Who Is Going To Stay Ugly is one of the moral hearts of these series and is An Actual Good Person Who Deserves Good Things in spite of not performing femininity, and who’s going to get the guy of her dreams (who is Hot) without settling and without becoming beautiful, and she’ll manage to realize her dreams even without becoming beautiful and regardless of having been treated like dirt because of her looks all her life, and like... apparently that is too much or too complicated to conceive and so either they have to decide she’s not That ugly or make her things she’s not or decide she’ll die early wow and whatever else, but like: the problem is that usually the Pure Moral Center Of A Story Who Happens To Be Female and gets her dreams and the hot dude is standard attractive. brienne is not, she has trauma because of that, and she’s still the best person in there (or one of the best) and she’ll get her dreams and the hot dude, and people can’t handle this specific concept nor admit that grrm, having done a thing that no one else has until now because there’s no other brienne in genre literature/in that way, is everything but a misogynist, since he actually, ah, wait, gave decent rep to people who most times are relegated to playing the best friend who stays single or are usually evil bc ugly antagonist women are everywhere, ugly protagonist women who are actually Good People™ and aren’t a paragon of Pure Virtue and don’t die virgins? not really. so: people can’t handle that brienne the way she is is a Good Person and The One True Knight In Westeros and it’s a sad thing but it just shows that maybe more people should go for that trope and that’s my two cents;

other than that no guy who can write the range of women grrm does can be a misogynist by definition, especially a guy who managed to get perfectly how it feels being a straight nonstandard attractive woman in society in general because my friends if before I stumbled into asoiaf I never related 100% to one fictional character ever there was a reason, and I read a lot, so people can bite me on that thing;

to end and comment on one thing: 

how the world is against Brienne, but she never does harm to the world

congrats to OP they went THAT close to it: that’s the entire fucking point. being like brienne in her society (and not performing femininity™ correctly in ours) means that whatever you do people will criticize you and treat you like dirt even if you don’t mean them any harm. the world is absolutely against her because all the circumstances are stacked against her - she’s a woman, doing a man’s job, looking nonattractive and therefore other women treat her like dirt and men don’t consider her or see her as a threat and hate her for it because she’s better at their job than they are, wanting to be a knight which is a thing that’s technically forbidden bc women can’t be anointed as far as the westerosi law says, who’s doing that because she knows she’s good at it but every single person in her way doesn’t want her to succeed except for a handful, can’t use femininity to navigate the world and she has to survive as a woman in a men’s world in an extremely misogynistic medieval society and there’s a reason why no one but three people takes her seriously, ie that if you don’t count a few people in f&b that are history book material in her context/timeframe she’s an unicum and people tend to dislike it when you’re an unicum/sticking out/wanting to go against the system. the system is absolutely stacked against her, when everything she wants is do good to others and making her father proud and be a knight and find love, and even if it’s not that much to ask for her it’s, on paper, impossible.... and the entire point is that as impossible as it looks she’s definitely going to get it because she’s written exactly for that, and if people haven’t grasped that it’s her arc - overcoming a misogynistic society and living beyond gender roles regardless of your looks which in itself is groundbreakingly feminist - sorry for them but they’ll have a bad wake up call when grrm gets wow/ados out.

and that’s my two cents, but like: there’s nothing wrong in liking characters With Faults or evil ones and you can find Good Ones boring, just don’t try to make it pass like the author is a misogynist because the Good Character is a nonstandard attractive gnc woman because that’s actually a thing no one else ever did.

and this stated brienne is more similar to book!sansa than book!arya personality-wise so it’s an argument that doesn’t hold on even joking. /two cents

[simpsonsnight]

Episode #80

WHAT THIS?

Marge in Chains Season 4 - Episode 21 | May 6, 1993 Marge gets busted for shoplifting (accidentally) and gets sent to prison. Her being locked up has adverse effects on her family, the community, and eventually it plunges the entire town into chaos. What an odd episode. I tend to mistake this one for “Marge on the Lam”, so I usually go into it with positive feelings. This one has a LOT going on for it/against it, especially in 2020. This has been pointed out elsewhere, but this episode features an Asian flu breaking out in Springfield. This plot more-or-less ends with the citizens of Springfield flipping over a truck thinking it contains a cure, only to let lose a crate of killer bees. In 2020speak it’s COVID and murder hornets, I point out in case these things become a faded memory and the aliens reading this when we’re all dead needs the footnote. But the person who pointed this out on... twitter? I think it was? Did this before the BLM protests broke out. So, this episode also features rioting in Springfield over a statue of one of history’s greatest monsters, Jimmy Carter. This is season 4, and the jokes are great. But I can criticize this episode on a couple of points. The idea of Marge being put in prison causing massive amount of panic in town is a little far-fetched, and there are a few jokes that make fun of the far-fetchedness of this. Most would let that slide in the classic era of the show, but if they remade this exact plot with different jokes in season 15 people would call bullshit all over it. Another thing is Apu and his brother are downright villainous in this, and I think that’s a bit of a misstep. I don’t think it hurts to make him imperfect. I really don’t have much qualms with the jokes about him peddling disgusting minimart food or indulging in dishonest business practices because that’s honestly as American as apple pie. Here he relishes in the fact that he has the ability to sue and ruin Marge’s life despite her being an undeserving target. Marge getting trampled by society so much that she gets sent to prison for nothing makes sense on The Simpsons, but even at this point in the show it seems like a misstep to make Apu THAT much of a villain. MAYBE if he were motivated by some crushing force himself I could see him in this role. It’s akin to say, depicting Homer as being embarrassed of his family’s behavior at the company picnic in season 1. A whoopsie daisy if you will.

THE B-SODE:

Beavis and Butt-head: "Scared Straight" Season 3 - Episode 10 | September 27, 1993 This is the one where Beavis and Butt-head are sent on a scared-straight type field trip to a prison and they make them take a dump in front of prisoners. Hey, remember when they did a Scared Straight reunion in the late 90s? They aired the original Scared Straight special and they left in all the swears! I was like “swearing... nice.” There’s a part in the reunion special where one of the felons meets with one of the kids he spooked and the ex-con joshingly recites his spiel as he walks into the guy’s office and it includes lines like “I’ve commited murder, rape, arson” etc. and I don’t know if I’m supposed to take all that at face value but it seems kinda inappropriate that he’s like cheerfully talking about his crimes that way? Like if he’s referencing an actual rape that’s kinda rude, right? It’s not just me?

[let-it-raines]

Rising from the Ashes (5/?)

Summary: When her husband died, Emma wasn’t sure that she could ever move on. He left her with a broken heart and a baby who was only three-months old. It’s enough to take most people down, to make them not want to keep going, but Emma Swan isn’t most people. She’s stronger than she has any right to be. And after years of heartache, she’s found ways to move on…one of those being in Neal’s best friend, Killian Jones. As she’s always known, however, things are more complicated than they ever seem to be. 

Rating: Mature

A/N: You guys go into each chapter of this story with fear and excitement, and I really love that...it’s exactly how I go into writing each chapter! 

Double “-/-” around the flashback!

AO3: Beginning | Current

Tumblr: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Tag List: @artistic-writer​ @cs-forlife @qualitycoffeethings @resident-of-storybrooke  @captainsjedi @captswanis4vr @teamhook @ekr032-blog-blog @mayquita @bmbbcs4evr @wellhellotragic @kmomof4 @jennjenn615 @onceuponaprincessworld @shady-swan-jones @snowbellewells @snow-into-ash @andiirivera @mariakov81 @thejollyroger-writer @shireness-says @kristi555 @facesiousbutton82 @superchocovian

“Morning, Ems,” Neal greets her, yawning the slightest bit as he muddles around the kitchen, pouring himself a cup of coffee from the pot she made about thirty minutes ago. She’s surprised there’s any left. She’s had two large cups after not getting any sleep last night. She’s been trying not to get back into drinking a lot of caffeine ever since she found out she was pregnant with Ada, having avoided it altogether for at least eleven months, and she’s trying to keep from getting back into her bad habits, especially when she’s still breastfeeding.

With how little she sleeps lately, the coffee has been calling her name.

Not literally. She hasn’t quite lost her mind yet, surprisingly enough.

“Morning,” she mumbles, taking a sip of her own drink while she finishes off some emails from work. They may have allowed her to take the rest of the semester off, keeping on her replacement from her maternity leave last semester, but she didn’t want to let all of the students she’s been working with for the past two years to not have her help applying to colleges when she’s been the one working with them and helping them every day. It also gives her something to do besides spend her time trying to calm her racing mind down or talking to a five-month-old. There’s only so much Ada can coo back. “How’d you sleep?”

“Okay. It’s taking some getting used to, but you know I’ve always had issues trying to get comfortable at night.” “Yeah, you have. We can buy you a mattress topper or a new bedspread or something if it’ll make you more comfortable. That’s not the best bed. It’s Killian’s old one from a million years ago, so if you let me know, I can take you to Target or something.”

Neal hums while he walks toward her and settles down across from her at the kitchen table. “What are you doing?” “Working. Ada’s morning nap is pretty much my only free time during the day, so I like to get a little done. What time is your therapy?”

“One. Why?”

She closes her laptop and looks up at him. He’s been here for two weeks, and it’s still just so damn weird looking at him. He looks so different, but sometimes when he smiles, she gets flashes of the man he once was before he left. “I can drop you off if you want. I know you’ve been taking an Uber, which cool, right? So much better than having to call a cab like we used to have to do. But I figured I could take you on my way to take Ada to the park and then after we can get Henry from school so he doesn’t have to stay late with Marg.”

Neal’s eyes light up, the excitement obvious in them, and she smiles to herself. His first meeting with Henry was a disaster, and she’s still kind of (extremely) pissed over what he said to her and Killian in the heat of the moment, but Neal has been so excited about spending time with Henry that she can’t help but forgive him a little bit. He was obviously just in shock and probably a little angry. She can’t blame him, not really, not with everything he’s been through and what exactly he came home to. It’d be hard for anyone to find out the world you thought you knew wasn’t at all what you thought.

He could have chilled out a bit, but Neal has never been one to control his emotions well.

She’s upset, but she’s not mad. It’s weird, and she’s stopped trying to explain it to herself. She really will go crazy if she keeps trying to make sense of everything.

She hopes Neal’s getting through a lot during his therapy sessions, even if he’s only been to two sessions since leaving the hospital, but hopefully he’ll keep going to all of his appointments and get to at least attempt to come to terms with everything. She doesn’t know how, but she hopes that he will. For him, for Henry, for everyone.

And they’re not exactly talking about anything at home. It’s like there’s a giant elephant in every room of the house, and she, Killian, and Neal are all ignoring it while Henry runs around like she’s just given him free reign at Disney World.

It’s probably unhealthy, but it’s easier for her right now. And honestly, she’s tired. She’s tired of Killian skirting around her and only showing her the minimum amount of affection, and she’s tired of Neal always looking at her with these longing eyes before he goes back to the iPhone he’s trying to learn how to use ever since Killian took him to Verizon last week. Yeah, they have some shit to figure out, but she can’t stop her life anymore to make this her sole focus. Maybe she should be more sympathetic to the both of them, but honestly, to her, she’s not in some kind of tragic love triangle. She’s just not. Even if she was in love with Neal a long time ago, she can’t just fall back in love with him now. Doesn’t mean things aren’t complicated, and while she was freaking out (how could she not be?) at first, she’s not anymore.

Okay, so a part of her is definitely still freaking out. But it’s a lesser part than last week.

Weirdly, while she thought having Neal at home would make things worse, it’s helped. It’s helped her to look at things as a one step at a time kind of deal. It’s made things more real without all of these thoughts and theories running around in her head. It’s actually made her calmer no matter how weird it is to have a man she thought was dead in her home. He’s similar to how he was, but he’s definitely more different than anything.

Thinking about what he must have been through breaks her heart, and sometimes she needs a moment to herself to collect her sob, take a deep breath, and be the person she has to be now. What’s that commercial about parents not being able to take a sick day? It’s for Tylenol or something. She’s not sure, but she understands it now even more than she did when she was alone with a one-month-old baby with no idea what she was doing until Ruth finally came to stay with her for awhile.

Normalcy is all she wants right now. She’s got to get everything back to normal.

Neal didn’t even know how to work a smart phone which makes sense but was still shocking in a way, especially since she remembers him having a Blackberry a million years ago. He’s doing well learning, though. He’s successfully used Uber several times to go to therapy and then out to eat on his own.

And she thinks his focus is all on adjusting back into a normal rhythm and getting to know Henry, so that’s really good. She wants Henry to know him and to be happy with having his dad back in his life as a normal, everyday thing. Neal’s going back to work after Thanksgiving too. She finds that a bit ironic. She took an entire semester off because of everything, and Neal’s diving right back into things.

Good for him. He should get the normalcy if that’s what he wants. She may never get back to the normalcy she’s trying to achieve, but Neal deserves it after everything. He’s doing so well when some of the worst things imaginable have been happening to him for so long. She can’t quite get over any of that.

“Yeah? We could pick up Henry?”

“Sure. I was thinking it’d probably be good for you to get to see his school, and he’s always the most chatty right after a day since he’s been hoarding all of this information all day so he can talk about it at home. And, like, I totally don’t want you to buy his love or anything, but the kid loves ice cream. There’s a shop just around the corner from the school.”

“Ice cream in November?”

She shrugs. “He’s got my sweet tooth.”

“I can see that.”

“So, um, yeah,” she sighs, scooting back in her chair and taking her glasses off of her face and placing them on her laptop, “we’ll do that. I’m going to go get ready and feed Ada when she wakes up. Help yourself to anything, as you know. I’m going to go grocery shopping tomorrow, so if there’s something you want, put it on the list on the fridge, okay?”

“Will do, Ems.”

She nods her head, not having anything else to say, before walking upstairs and heading into her room, closing the door so that she can take a shower. She really should have done that earlier, but this morning was so hectic. She got Henry ready for school on her own because Killian had to be at work at six for the damn monthly conference he has to do once a month, which seems to always fall on the day where Ada decides to have some kind of meltdown. But it’s all fine now. She got Henry in Mary Margaret’s car, and Ada eventually stopped crying once she ate and got another bath despite the one she had last night.

Kids are hard. Really damn hard.

Her shower is soothing though, the water washing away a lot of her stress as she adjusts the shower head and lets the water pound into her back instead of gently washing her off. Even though she doesn’t really have the time, she takes it to deep condition her hair, knowing how dry it’s been lately, and she actually shaves her legs. All of the way up and not just up to her knees or up to where her leggings show her skin when she’s running errands. She’s been in a relationship for a long time, so while shaving doesn’t always get done, it does get done more often than it has been lately.

It’d probably help if she was actually sleeping with Killian. That would get her to shave more often, but they pretty much fall asleep after making sure they’ve talked about their schedules for the next day. And they pretty much always fall asleep on opposite sides of the bed. Sometimes they drift together in the middle of the night, and she craves those nights and the warmth of Killian’s body wrapped around hers, but that hasn’t really been happening.

Okay, so yeah, her relationship is having some issues that she should probably think about and talk about some more, but she’s just letting Killian work through whatever it is that’s going through his mind. She tries to talk to him about it sometimes, but for once, he’s not feeling like opening up to her. He’s just not. He feels things so deeply all the time, usually more than any person she’s ever known, and while he has gotten good about sharing with her, sometimes he reverts back to how he used to be and keeps it all to himself.

She hates that.

If anything, she thinks that’s what’s freaking her out the most about Killian lately, not about her life as a whole. Killian has always been there for her, always, and even though he’s right here with her, sometimes he feels so far away. He’s not supposed to feel this far away.

-/-

-/-

“Sweetie,” Mary Margaret calls, and David immediately walks over to her from where he was talking to Killian over by the grill, “will you please go check on the boys?”

“The burgers might burn if I leave them.”

“Killian can watch them. So can we. We all know how to cook.”

“Emma doesn’t.”

“Hey,” she protests, shaking her head from side to side while sipping on her lemonade, “I can. I may not be, like a professional chef, but I can cook a decent meal. I have a six-year-old who I feed on a daily basis.”

“I cook a lot of our meals, love.”

“Hush,” she laughs, rolling her eyes at Killian and the stupid smirk he has on his face. “I cook all of the time, and I really feel like you guys shouldn’t be making fun of me when I provided the desserts for today.”

“Didn’t we bring ice cream?”

“Yes, but I paid for it.” “That’s not the same, Swan.”

She turns back to Mary Margaret who’s looking at her with a face full of amusement. “I think he wants to sleep on the couch tonight. I really do, and he hates the couch. Just last night after Henry went to bed we were fooling – ”

“And I’m going upstairs to check to make sure our children have all of their limbs still intact. I don’t need to hear about whatever it is you were just about to say.” “So immature.” “You are my little sister. I don’t need to think about what you do with Killian.”

“I can spell it out for you if I need to. It’s really short. Just three letters. Or four depending on how crude you want to get.” “Going upstairs now,” David says a bit too loudly while his cheeks flush red. He walks away toward the staircase, shaking his head back and forth, and she feels a little rush of pride making him embarrassed, especially since they’ve always had more of a friendly relationship than sibling. He was already out of the house and married when Ruth adopted her, so it’s not like he was around watching her go on dates. He was later, but not when he’s supposed to have been forming all of those protective older brother vibes. “Jones, don’t burn my burgers.”

“I’ll try not to, but I’m awfully distracted by your sister’s buns.”

Laughter rumbles through her stomach while her lips stretch into smile, one that makes her entire face hurt. She both can and can’t believe Killian just said that, and the blush on her cheeks probably matches the blush on David’s. Killian moves his brows across his forehead before winking at her, and it only makes her giggle more.

“I hate the both of you.”

“But I love you, Dave,” Killian calls out, blowing a kiss toward the staircase. “You too, Swan. Just to make that clear. You and your buns are my favorite if I had to pick a member of the family.”

“You’re ridiculous,” she laughs, covering her mouth with her hand. “But I’m glad to know you love me and my ass more than you love my brother.” “It’s a good ass.”

“You are such a horrible flirt.” “No, no. I am a wonderful flirt. How else could I make hamburgers and hot dogs dirty and charming?”

“Well, the hot dog jokes are super obvious, just fyi,” she laughs, calming down enough that she can take another sip of her lemonade. “And the buns are too, but I applaud your attempts, babe. Maybe something will come from it later.”

“Yeah?”

“Absolutely. You’ll get to eat – ”

“Okay,” Mary Margaret interrupts them, “you guys can stop with the dirty jokes there. I don’t need to know anymore.”

“I was literally just going to say that he’ll get to eat the food he’s cooking. Where did you – oh my God, Marg, no,” she giggles, reaching up to flip her hair over her shoulder. “I’m not going to say that when you’re standing right there.”

“With the way that you two are, can you blame me for stopping you?”

“Yes.”

“Absolutely.”

“It’s like you guys are teenagers,” she sighs, shaking her head back and forth. “I’m going to go see what David and the boys are up to. You guys can continue to flirt out here. Just remember that we have neighbors.” “I promise that I’ll give them a show.”

Mary Margaret just sighs again, sliding open the door and walking inside, leaving just she and Killian out there. She’s not about to put on whatever show Killian was talking about, but she won’t pass up an opportunity to flirt with her boyfriend when he’s in such a good mood. He’s usually pretty reserved or more clever with his innuendos because of Henry, but when Henry’s not around, well, that’s another story.

Walking over to him, she wraps her arm around his waist and sticks her hand in the back of his pant’s pocket. It’s July, the sun shining down on them hotter than it has all year, but he refuses to wear shorts. He’s got a lot of quirks, but the short thing is definitely on up there, especially because he’ll walk around the house in this awful pair of plaid boxers that seem to keep popping up no matter how many times she hides them.

Maybe she just needs to throw them out, but honestly, he might break up with her if he finds out about that. He really loves those boxers.

Possibly more than he loves her.

“I was lying earlier when I told Mary Margaret I was simply going to say you could eat hamburgers and hot dogs. I say we let Henry run around in the yard a lot and then you and I get a lot of alone time tonight.” “Aye, I know.”

“What?” She slaps his chest before he starts moving the burgers onto the sheet pan. “How did you know?”

“You flipped your hair behind your shoulders.” “Right, forgot that you’re weird and know my supposed tells.” “It’s not weird, sweetheart,” he says as he gets the rest of the burgers off the grill and turns the gas off. “You can do the same to me. It’s what happens when you spend every day talking to the same person.” “Not sure if that’s a compliment or a complaint.”

Once Killian closes the hood on the grill, he turns toward her and places his hands on her shoulders before brushing his lips over her forehead, her eyes fluttering closed in response. “I think it’s more just being grateful that I get to spend my life with you. I don’t know another woman who would stand out here and let me make innuendos involving food in front of her family.” “This is true,” she admits, smiling up at him and wishing he didn’t have on sunglasses so she can see the blue in his eyes, even if his sunglasses are kind of hot. “I’m pretty much the cream of the crop, and I deserve to be appreciated every day.” “And you’re also humble. Can’t forget to appreciate that.”

“Exactly.”

She presses up on her toes to quickly slide her lips over his, just a few short pecks over and over again until she hears the sliding glass door open.

“Daddy,” Henry calls out, “I’m hungry, and Uncle David told me to ask you when we can eat.”

“Right after you wash your hands. Have you done that?”

“Yes.” “Have you really?”

“No,” Henry admits, hanging his head a little bit.

“Then I suggest that you go wash them, okay?”

“Okay,” Henry nods his head before stepping back inside where she knows he probably will do it simply because Killian told him to. He’s going through a phase where everything Killian tells him is basically gold whereas she’s pretty much useless in getting him to do anything.

“How’d you know he was lying? Does he have a tell too?”

Killian shrugs, moving his hands off of her shoulders and turning to grab the pan of burgers. “He’s a kid, darling. He doesn’t like washing his hands or brushing his teeth. No one needs your superpower to figure that out.”

“My superpower is pretty cool though, right?”

“It’s amazing until I’m trying to surprise you, and I have to pull off a covert mission just to buy you a necklace for our anniversary.”

She reaches up to grab the necklace that’s around her neck, feeling the circular diamond pendant that she wears every day without fail. “I’m glad that you did pull off this particular covert mission.”

“Me too, love. Let’s go eat before your brother thinks that I’m actually burning his burgers.”

“The audacity.”

-/-

-/-

She shakes off the thoughts of she and Killian and finishes her shower before turning the water off and drying herself before pulling on her robe and wrapping her hair in the towel. Getting ready quickly has pretty much become something she’s an expert in, so she quickly brushes her teeth again in an attempt to get rid of the taste of coffee that’s lingering before she puts her moisturizer on her face, smoothing it into her skin. She looks down at her jewelry tray, the one that stays on her bathroom vanity, and she picks up her necklace and clasps it around her neck, leaving her wedding ring there.

There’s noise on the baby monitor, the beginnings of a wail, and she knows that Ada’s going to cry before she even gets in there. And even though it still breaks her heart every single time her baby is upset, she lets her wail a little bit while pulling on her leggings and pullover, figuring that she’s just going to walk the path at the park anyways. There’s no need for her to put on jeans or anything nice.

It’s still a little weird for her not to be working and not having to get ready in something that’s school appropriate, but she can’t say she hates not having to wear pants with buttons and zippers. After she’s got her shoes on, she finally heads into Ada’s room, feeding her and changing her, making sure she’s got on clothes warm enough for the chill outside, before grabbing her diaper bag and heading downstairs where Neal is already waiting at the door.

“You ready to go?”

“Yep. Just waiting on you.”

The drive to Neal’s therapist’s office is only fifteen minutes, so they don’t talk much. One of the things she’s noticed is that he’s much quieter than he used to be, at least when he’s at home with everyone. When he’s with just her, things are usually a bit more comfortable. She’s not sure if maybe he’s just pissed at Killian or if he’s simply more comfortable being with her. If anything, she figured he’d be pissed at her for moving on. Realistically, she knows that she did nothing wrong, but guilt is a powerful thing. And Neal feeling like he doesn’t have a family…she’s not going to let that happen. She’s going to figure out how to let him be happy with Henry without all of the lingering hostility she can feel when they’re eating dinner or watching television at night.

“So I’ll pick you up around two thirty, and we’ll go pick Henry up, okay?”

Neal nods his head before getting out of the car, giving her a wave and a smile before she’s driving off.

It’s a beautiful fall day out, and the lake at the park glistens under the sunlight while the fallen leaves scatter the concrete path she’s walking with Ada. Right after Ada was born, Emma joined a walking group with several other mom’s, but after about three sessions and thirty judgmental looks for being unmarried, she quit going to them. As much as she’d like to have friends with kids the same age as hers, sometimes it’s just not worth the effort. Or the judgment. And she doesn’t want to be friends with anyone who’s going to judge her anyways.

You just have to do things that bring you joy.

Marie Kondo it.

She literally hoards onto everything, so Marie Kondo probably isn’t the best example for her. She may be more like Hoarders whereas Killian is Marie.

Her phone rings in her pullover pocket, and she grabs it, sliding her fingers across the screen when Killian’s face pops up.

“Hey, babe,” she greets while maneuvering the stroller away from a dip in the pavement.

“Hey, love. How are you? How was this morning? I’m sorry I had to leave early.” “I mean, I’m fine. This morning was a disaster. I think Ada could sense my fear of doing things alone, so she was a little monster. And Henry was dragging. But we made it. I’m at the park with Ada now so we can get some exercise and fresh air. What about you? You at lunch now?”

“Yeah,” he sighs, clicking his tongue while she hears voices in the background. “It’s been pretty hectic around here. We had some stuff I can’t tell you about happen, and it’s pretty much been an entire day in the conference room. I offered to go out and get lunch simply so I could call and check up on you.” “That’s sweet, and I’m sorry. I know you hate working in the conference room instead of your office.” “The blasted chairs alone.”

“Such an old man.” Ada makes a noise, and Emma lifts up the cover to make sure that she’s okay. She is, just playing with her toy, and Emma covers her back up with the shade. “Hey, so I dropped Neal off at his therapy, and I’m going to take him to Henry’s school so he can see a bit more about him. Then I was thinking we’d take him to Freeze Frame down the street. I’m guessing you’re too busy to get off of work and join us?”

“I am, love. I’m sorry.” “It’s fine,” she promises, trying not to feel sullen about how defeated Killian sounds. “I just thought it’d be nice to ask. We’ll have to go with you on another day. I really doubt Henry will object to more ice cream.”

He chuckles into the speaker, and it’s good to hear that. She wants to hear him laugh, see him smile. She understands that he’s going through a lot right now. She is too. But it’s nice for him to sound normal.

Normal. How many times a day does she think the word normal? She should get it embroidered on a pillow or something.

“Very true. Our boy likes ice cream. Maybe this weekend I’ll take him out to do something. I’ve been trying to let him spend time with Neal, but I do miss us getting to do stuff. So maybe I can get him out and about with me.” “You know you don’t have to stop doing things with him, right? He can spend time with you both. It doesn’t have to be either or. Just this morning he was asking if you’d be home early enough for you guys to work on the swing set before everything gets too cold.” Killian mumbles something under his breath that she can’t understand. “Swan, I’ve got to go. I’ll see you at home, okay?”

“Yeah,” she sighs, something heavy settling in her stomach, “I’ll see you at home.”

She and Ada walk a few more laps before it’s time for them to go pick up Neal so that they can get Henry. Neal is waiting outside on the front steps of the office when she pulls up, and he hurriedly gets in the car, sliding into the front seat and buckling his seatbelt before he goes back to thumbing through his phone, casually talking to her and asking her about some of the places they pass along the way. She forgets that he doesn’t know Portland, that he’s never been here before, so she’s happy to show him some places to make him feel more at home.

Instead of pulling through the pick-up lane at school, she parks the car and gets out as Neal does the same. Ada’s asleep, which almost always happens after their walks, so Emma undoes her car seat and carries her inside as they make their way into Henry’s school.

“So this is a good place, huh? Neal asks, his eyes following the murals on the side of the building.

“Yeah, it’s really good. Besides Mary Margaret teaching here, one of the big factors for our move was the school district. I think Killian spent weeks investigating and calling all of the administrators. It was a little ridiculous, but it’s worth it now. Henry’s super happy here, and he’s doing great in school.” “That’s good. I think the schools back in Virginia were pretty good too.” “Yeah, they were great, but we couldn’t stay on base after...you know. And I really like living here. It’s a nice place. You can live in the suburbs and drive into the city. Plus, there are so many nice beaches under two hours away. We usually go to Boothbay in the summers.”

Neal simply hums next to her. “So you don’t plan on moving back to Virginia? That’d be closer to where I want to work. My options here are pretty limited.”

She stops her walking as the bell to indicate the first wave of students are released from school rings. Ada stirs a bit, but she stays asleep. “What are you talking about? Why would we move? We have a life here.”

“Yeah, but we were supposed to have a life there. We had it all planned out, Ems. Don’t you remember? We were going to get the bigger house with the pool? And Henry was going to go to that private school in DC? I remember us making all of those plans when you were decorating the nursery.”

“Neal,” she sighs, tightly closing her eyes to fight back the tears and the flashes of memories, “of course I remember, but we were a lot younger, me especially, and those were just dreams. And our lives have obviously not gone as planned. I understand that you’re probably trying to cling to the past. I would do the same thing, but you can’t. Isn’t that what Dr. Carter kept telling us at the hospital? That we can’t go back, so we have to try to move forward. We’re not those people anymore. We don’t have that life, so you have to adjust your dreams. Hopefully there’s one out there just as good. Maybe even better. I promise that this is a really good school, a really good place.”

He smiles, just a small twitch of his lips that makes his entire face crinkle, but he doesn’t say anything else, walking up the path to where there’s now hundreds of kids leaving the school. A shiver runs down her spine as a gust of wind blows by, but she shakes it off and catches up with Neal so she can show him where Henry’s pick-up line is.

“Momma,” Henry shouts, tugging at Mary Margaret’s cardigan until she looks up and makes eye contact with Emma.

“You can go,” Mary Margaret tells him, and he’s quickly making his way over to she and Neal, wrapping his arms around her waist first.

“Hey, kid,” she sighs, kissing the top of his head. “Why don’t you talk to your dad about your day for a bit while I talk to Mary Margaret?”

“Okay,” he sighs, pulling back from her before he’s turning to Neal and chatting almost as quickly as he can. She’s glad that he’s gotten a lot of his pep back. He was far too quiet when everything happened at first, and that absolutely flooded her with worry. She’s pretty sure he was just reflecting how she and Killian were, and that was not okay with her. She can’t let all of the conflict and confusion get to him.

“Hey, Marg,” she greets when she gets to her, placing Ada’s carrier on the ground and taking her out of it now that she’s woken up. “How are you?”

“Tired,” she complains, checking off two more kids to go home. “The VP observed class today, and he watched mine just after lunch.” “So when they’re the worst?”

“Exactly. I thought I was going to – ”

“Mrs. Nolan, my grandma is here.” “Okay Amanda, you can go. Don’t forget your science project tomorrow.” “I won’t.”

“She will,” Mary Margaret sighs, reaching over and squeezing Ada’s arm. “God, I miss when Leo was this tiny. I mean, I get so much more sleep now, but there’s nothing like those baby stages.”

“For someone who’s exhausted, you’re asking for more exhaustion.” She laughs. “I’m too old to have more kids, but I can admire my precious niece.” Mary Margaret’s eyes dart away from her students and turn toward where Henry and Neal are. “So how’s that going? I need to come over and talk one day because I feel like David and I haven’t helped nearly enough, especially after that first day.”

“The first day was the worst, but it’s gotten better. Things are still hard, obviously, but they’re getting better, I think. Neal’s pretty quiet. Killian is even quieter. I honestly think they’ve got some kind of macho man contest going on, and it’s driving me insane.” “So they’re both feeling territorial?” “I think so, and I get it, but I also don’t get it, you know? Yeah, things are messed up, but I’m my own person and neither of them have rights to me. It’s taken me a minute to understand that, because I’ve always felt some kind of obligation to Neal, but – ”

“Well don’t you?” “Don’t I what?”

“Have an obligation to him? He’s your husband. You made a commitment to him.”

She tries to keep the anger bubbling under her skin to a minimum. She really does. They’re around kids, and this was supposed to be a quick conversation while Mary Margaret is doing drop off, and she’s still got Ada in her arms.

“Marg, I love you. I really do, but you and David are entirely different than any relationship I’ve ever had. Yes, I made a commitment to Neal once upon a time, but that doesn’t mean I owe him anything, even if I’ve felt that way before. I just…I just want him to get to know Henry and to be happy in this second chance at life that he’s getting. That’s all I want.”

She also signed those papers, which she still hasn’t told Neal about. Honestly, she needs to meet with a lawyer at some point and get her shit figured out. And tell Neal they’re not married anymore. That should…she should probably do that.

She really doesn’t want to do that.

“So you don’t – ”

“No. I think I may break his heart, but I’ll always be here for him, you know? To help him get his life back, to make up for the time he’s lost. There’s so much that’s happened, none of it that’s his fault, but I can’t snap back to how things were. I don’t want to. I think I’m just trying to hold everything together and make sure Henry isn’t overwhelmed. He’s still doing okay in school?”

“Yeah, he’s great, hon,” Mary Margaret promises, reaching over and squeezing Emma’s shoulder. “He’s waving to you now. I think it might be time to go.” “Yeah,” she sighs, reaching down and picking up Ada’s carrier while balancing Ada in her arms, “it is. I’ll talk to you later.”

She walks back over to Neal and Henry, plastering a smile on her face and tugging Henry to her side. “Dad says we’re going to get ice cream. Is that true?”

“Yep! We’ve got to show him the magic of Freeze Frame.” “They have sixty flavors,” Henry excitedly begins, walking toward the car, “and you can mix them. Plus they have toppings, but daddy says we can only have three toppings when we go because however much your ice cream weighs is how much it costs.”

“Tell you what, buddy, you can have as many toppings as you want. My treat.”

-/-

“Yeah, and on my fifth birthday, I had a lego cake. It was super cool, and there was a Batman on top.”

“Really? Was he made of legos too?”

“He was made of icing.” Henry takes a large spoonful of his birthday cake ice cream with far more sprinkles than any child should ever have, which is how they got onto the topic of Henry’s birthdays. “It was so cool.”

“I bet,” Neal tells him while he takes a bite of his own ice cream. “I have something else that I bet that you’ll think is cool.”

“Yeah?” Henry’s eyes light up, and she scoops up some of her remaining mango. She always claims they can’t come here much because Henry will lose his mind, but really she’s starting to think that it’s because she’ll eat it all. At least she doesn’t like sprinkles though. They’re pretty but so gross.

“Yeah. It’s super cool. I got a call today asking if I wanted to be on TV, and I told them yes. They’re going to come to our house, and you can be on TV too.”

She chokes on her ice cream, having to force the melted liquid down her throat, which only makes it worse. What the hell? Did he just say that he invited interviewers to the house? And that Henry will be on it too? They already have enough people calling and asking to talk over the phone as well as people waiting outside the house some mornings. This is the absolute last thing they need.

And he didn’t even ask. She thought he’d have the common courtesy to at least talk to she and Killian about this, but Neal has always just done things his own way. He likes to take charge. But he can’t do this. She won’t let him do this. She always let him lead in the past, but if they’re going to do this whole co-parenting thing, he has to learn how to ask. She’s not twenty-one and an unfortunate pushover anymore.

“Really? I’m going to be on TV?”

“Yeah! Isn’t that exciting?”

“Neal,” she says softly, adjusting Ada in her lap so she can’t grab Emma’s cup and dump ice cream everywhere, “we need to talk about this.”

“Oh come on, Ems, it’ll be great. They’re paying me. Said that they wanted to do a profile on how I’m adjusting back into life with my family. I figured you, me, and Henry could do it. I think it’ll be nice.”

God, he looks so excited, but she…she can’t do that. She doesn’t want her life on display, not after how it has been recently. Everywhere she goes she just gets all of these…looks. “If you want to do interviews, you can, but you can’t commit Henry to anything without asking me first. And you can’t commit me to things either.”

“But I want to do it, Mom!” Henry insists, looking over at her with his eyes wide and pleading.

It’s exactly why she and Killian don’t tell Henry anything without talking about things first. And she knows that Neal is learning, that he’s really only been a dad for two weeks, but she kind of feels like this is common sense. Maybe it is or maybe she’s just been a mom for nearly a decade and knows these things.

She’s still pissed though, especially because now she’s either going to have to do the damn interview or tell Henry that he can’t, which she already knows isn’t going to go over well.

Fuck.

“Kid,” she sighs, closing her eyes for a second to give herself some composure, “I’m not saying yes. I have to think about it. We have to talk to Daddy. I know it’s exciting to be on TV, but you have to wait and see.” “But Mom,” he whines, his bottom lip jutting out, “I want to.”

“I know, but this is a grown-up decision. Why don’t you finish your ice cream before it melts?”

“Fine,” Henry grumbles, stuffing his already melting ice cream in his mouth while she stirs hers around, her appetite for the melted mango gone.

She really does not like breaking her kid’s heart, and she knows that this whole adjustment period is going to take some more…adjusting. It’s just going to take time is all. They all simply need time.

Everything will be fine.

[tauntedoctopuses]

TO rereads HP

I'm rereading (well, listening to) the Harry Potter books and I have Thoughts, and I've been going "I want to post these on tumblr" and keep forgetting, so first post covers theough most of Prisoner of Azkaban. Tagging as "TO rereads HP"

Philospher's Stone

-JK definitely uses "ugly = bad" a lot. Here we have Dudley who is extremely fat, Aunt Petunia with a excessive neck and a face like a horse, Uncle Vernon who is "beefy" which is another word for especially large, and Piers who is "rat-faced". Snape is "sallow" and "greasy". I'll give her that she doesn't go in for describing her good characters as especially attractive - Harry is skinny (bc abuse) w untidy hair, Ron is gangly, Hermione has bushy hair and large front teeth - but that's not given connotations as "ugly" either.

-Harry's rationalization for why Dumbledore let him face Voldemort doesn't make sense from an adult POV. What reasonable adult would let a child risk death (and risk Voldemort's return) just to give him a chance to face the man who killed his parents and tried to kill him as a baby???

Chamber of Secrets

-I recently read Of a Linear Circle by @deadcatwithaflamethrower and it's AMAZING. I've also accepted her version of Hogwarts history as my headcanon. It makes a lot more sense than JK's version. : P It did leave me going "argh no wrong" through Professor Binns' spiel about the history of the Chamber of Secrets, and indignation about how Salazar's reputation has been twisted. Also FEELS about the basilisk. JALAAAAAAF D: D: D:

-Dumbledore asks if there was anything Harry wanted to tell him, and there's noted eye contact. Harry's mind immediately flashes through all the things he might want to tell Dumbledore/DOES NOT want to tell him. That's a sneaky trick for a Legilimens to pull, and yes, I do think that'a what he was doing.

-wait how did Aragog have kids unless... yep, Hagrid found him a mate. Why, Hagrid, why?

Prisoner of Azkaban

-How could Dumbledore let Harry send Harry to live with the Durlseys??? They abuse him like whoa, and there's no way the Weasleys didn't tell Dumbledore what happened last summer (locked up, starved, has to literally dodge a frying pan swung at his head??? The Dursleys never successfully hit him in canon, but there's sure enough evidence of them threatening/trying to). Even assuming the blood protection thing, there's no excuse for Dumbledore not to show up and make sure they treat Harry decently. (Unless you get into "Dumbledore was fine with/wanted Harry to be treated badly so he would trust Dumbledore so Dumbledore could use him to kill Voldemort.)

-Lovely, this time it's "masculine woman = bad". Aunt Marge looks like Uncle Vernon, big and beefy, and "even has a mustache like him". She's presented as even worse than the Dursleys, and since Uncle Vernon is already presented as ugly and ugly features on men are generally considered worse on women... ugh, JK. This ties in nicely with your transphobia.

-Again w "ugly=bad" with Snape and his yellow teeth.

-Hermione why did you bring Crookshanks up to the boys' dorm room when he keeps going for Scabbers? Bad planning.

-How do people keep their pets at Hogwarts? Do none of the rats and toads have enclosures? Scabbers is generally in Ron's pocket or sometimes sleeping in his bed. Neville is forever losing Trevor (although to be fair he'd probably manage that with an enclosure). Ron has Scabbers with him in Transfiguration when he (tried to) turns him into a goblet, and Trevor was apparently on hand in Potions to be fed Neville's attempt at a shrinking solution. Do they just... carry them around in their pockets all day? Cause that's a terrible idea for multiple reasons. 1) Critters need time and space to do their crittery thing. Run, dig, hide, sleep unbothered in a quiet place, etc. Enclosures are important for that. Toads may have specific temperature/humidity needs, too. 2) Where are these animals toileting? If they're in your pocket all day, guess what, it's in your pocket. Rats can be toilet trained, but if you don't give them the opportunity to go... you're stuck with the results. I doubt toads are smart enough for anything like that. And then the critter is stuck in its waste until the owner notices and cleans their pocket. Apart from the ew factor for people, it's not healthy for the animal. I suppose we could theorize magical self-cleaning pockets, but that seems like fairly advanced magic. Although I suppose parents/guardians could spell the pockets. I do very much like the idea of magical self-cleaning cat boxes, though. Hermione definitely has one of those for Crookshanks. 3) Allowing pets in class would be a big distraction, for owners and other students. Critters won't be content to just chill in pockets all the time, they move and make noise. I can't see most professors putting up with that.

-There are all of three other students staying over Christmas, two of whom are first years - for no reason whatsoever I headcanon that Derek and unnamed firstie are BFFs from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw and they're taking the opportunity of everyone being gone to have sleepovers in each other's dorms every night. Maybe they rotate, maybe they just stick to Hufflepuff bc Hufflepuff is probably super cozy. Also Derek is the Puff bc apparently that sounds like a good Puff name to me.

-At one point a student speculates "maybe he knows how to apparate" like it's some rare feat, instead of the thing everyone learns in their sixth or seventh year like getting a driver's license. Must be a Muggle-born kid, because for a half- or pure-blood Apparition is "that thing my parent(s) do all the time". Can you imagine a non-magical kid, trying to figure out how an adult got around, going "maybe he can drive?"

-Harry tried *not* to blink when lying to Snape about having been in Hogsmeade, so in trying to lie convincingly he opened himself up to Legilimency instead. Welp.

-Everything in this setup screams Legilimency - there's the emphasis on eye contact, etc. Plus, what are the odds of Snape being restrained with it to a student he hates? How frustrating must it be for Snape to know exactly what happened and not be able to do anything about it?

-Harry "sees" Buckbeak flying away in his Divination final XD

-Why does Sirius try to choke Harry??? Is he just that crazed at that moment?

-When Harry is working himself up to kill Sirius, does he actually know how to kill someone with magic? Or is he just gonna point his wand and think killing thoughts?

[dyketectivecomics]

{{ Okay, as a fellow aficionado of playlists, I HAVE. TO ASK. About those songs you've chosen! Throw 5k at me, I DON'T MIND! But I'm dead-serious and deadly curious about what soundtrack I should be imagining for Magic Fam scenes. ;P (Maybe pick your Top 10, because Attention Spans are a thing. but if you want to make it into a full-blown lyrical analysis project, I'm totally down for reading that, too.)

I tried to pare this down as much as possible (kept around 1k so theres that!) w/out being too rambly, & still including a bit over that 10 bc i can’t PICK THINGS, but without any further ado & in no particular order~

Have Some Magic Fam’s Greatest Hits/Must Hears (under the cut):

- I’d say p much All of Fleetwood Mac/Stevie Nick’s is worth listening to, but some highlights i wanna point out real quick are gonna be “Hold Me”, “Little Lies”, and Nick’s “Whole Lotta Trouble”.While most of these will have the greatest frame of reference with an Idealized Version of John & Zee’s relationship, the purely mystical sounds that they bring into their music also lends itself to something that I can only describe as nostalgic for myself. My dad played a lot of Fleetwood/Nicks when i was younger & its the kind of sound that you can put on as bg, just allowing yourself to get lost in the music or let it drift softly w/out taking too much attention. It’s the kind of music that i absolutely see Constantine & Zatanna reaching as a middle ground (what w/ John being very punk rock, and Zee i see as being an absolute sucker for pop) Its just a very happy middle & represents an idyllic childhood I’d want for Raven.

-Moving up to Angsty Teen Years, and doing a lot of projection in the mean time: i’d push/encourage listening to Linkin Park and Flyleaf. But not their heavier stuff, no. Start with something like “Shadow of the Day” & “Leave Out All the Rest” (LPs) and “There for You” (flyleaf). I absolutely headcanon Raven (in any canon) being introduced to Flyleaf thru Aunt Alice (as a way to try to Connect through a musical middle ground for reasons that would be Obvious for anyone who knows the band’s history/focus a bit more on the lyrics for certain songs…). By the time Raven meets Rose (who would introduce her to LP) she’d absolutely start edging into a Goth/Emo/Scene phase. #LetRavenHaveACringyTeenPhase2kwhatever like, just imagine her screaming her head off to “One Step Closer” while Constantine’s in the next room like ‘not my style, but good for u kid’ while he slowly turns up The Clash

-Honorable Mentions bc they have more to do w/ general relationship dynamics include:“(They Long To Be) Close to You” by The Carpenters, this is v self-indulgent, bc Simpsons fans might remember this is Homer & Marge’s song. it absolutely falls in line w/ Fleetwood as being a Love Anthem during Rae’s childhood before John n Zee move slowly into their Little Lies phase if you will“Sins of My Youth” by Neon Trees, where you start to see some breakdown btwn the two. bc the reality is that they’re BOTH weighed down by things in their past, and unless they really WORK at those things (which 9/10 john usually ISN’T) then they WILL start to break apart. helps that theres an extra layer/theme of addiction which i think adds to the tone of the song as well as hits the nail a little on the head (which brings me to the next song…)“Demons” by Imagine Dragons, (gonna show my 2010s scene phase a bit here) bc this one is HELLA on the nose/cliche for all of them, BUT YA NEED TO BE A BIT CLICHE SOMETIMES OK? this song just WORKS so well for them all and its… not quite a bop, but like? its Good. it’s Been Good and I’m so sad that it got so overplayed when first released to the point of oversaturation, its a Shame“You Learn” by Alanis Morissette, funnily enough, i was listening to this one while driving, and like? so many little Zatanna & Raven ideas kept popping into my head. it really helped to help form ideas and tone of how i want their relationship to be, and provided a great stepping stone like getting into the zone for writing that most recent chapter of Retrieval (& @squiddybeifong i actually rlly wanna rec this one esp & feel free to give the rest of these, in case where you were wondering how trash my music taste is for this AU lmao)

TBH i think ima break my music library overall like this for this AU:

70s rock/pop absolutely encompasses Raven’s childhood, so ages 5-10/11. Anything 90s Punk/early Aughts Alt Rock is Raven’s Teen Angst Phase in SPADES. On the opposite end of that, Zatanna & Raven’s relationship could probably be encompassed by the feelings I get from listening to 90s pop/rock, and Constantine & Rae’s would be more U2/80s-ish, think “Sunday Bloody Sunday” or maybe “With or Without You” vibes would be better? NO WAIT “Stay (Faraway, So Close!)” THAT ONES DEF A GOOD ONE FOR THEM BOTH UGHHHH- everything else gets sorted into Particular Circumstances & Feelings/Events… and there’s couple of those so-

Last but not least, while I don’t see Raven being quite the romantic thats presented in this song, “The Only Exception” by Paramore also includes a lot of that great relationship angst that anyone who’s seen their parents go through bad breaks & have it negatively affect how they enter their own relationships… yeah, i’ve said a lot there, that probably didn’t rlly need explaining for such a simple song but like… it Works for this dynamic, esp since John & Zee aren’t MEANT to completely last in this. not without a lot of work that I’m still… trying to be sure that they want to work out, if that makes sense? (bc i know what *I* want but that might not necessarily be where they take me lmao)

tl;dr- i have shit music taste bc my own parents raised me on a lot of shit that they loved

[inhalareexhalare]

Memento mori. 

Nynaeve recommended this before, and I loved it and am remembering.

It suddenly started raining.

Karu also said,

"I think I'm gonna be a terrible dad"

Out of nowhere.

We'd just been talking about his gig today about half an hour ago.

I feel a bit down that I can't seem to find the motivation to keep my work space organized, but I think that's because I put it down too much in my priority list. Dr. Seth told me to take one day off of work, to do housekeeping duties, to express how important it is to her.

Awesome.

From Karu:

Wala lang. I remember Aang being a terrible dad [It's nothing. I remember Aang being a terrible dad]

Aang was a terrible dad according to the old airbender guy from Legend of Korra

Apparently it was Katara that took care of the children cause Aang was busy being the Avatar

Kinda like how Naruto is busy being Hokage

Aang's airbender kid was also obviously favored over the non bender and the waterbender

To Karu:

Hahahahaha I see I see

We won't know until we get there, and we'll never know if we don't keep trying :)

God gave man a partner for a reason, so don't start thinking you're on your own

Outside family, there's also a reason why we're a team, remember? :) No man is an island, and no man is big enough to carry out a vision

I am technically your secretary, so don't hesitate to call for me. In fact, I'd love to help

We're still a small ship of a small crew in such a big sea, so of course it's gonna be busy

The burden gets lighter as more pillars are added, and as these pillars are slowly built with strength over time

...we teach the youth what wonders life can do :)

2018-11-07 12:00 Philippines Wednesday

BOOODLE FIIIGHT!!!!

I ATE TONS OF MEAT! Pork. Chicken. Fish!!!

I feel like I got closer with Ms. Charree.

It was the right choice to return to her side when she was left alone coincidentally. She's sociable, but also shy in many ways.

This is always a fun tradition in the Philippines hahaha! I still have a hard time eating rice with my hands though. My hands don't understand how to do it naturally.

“Privileged ignorance”

Born and bred With spoon and fed

Yes. I am one of those sheltered kids. It's one of the reasons why leaving home was particularly radical to the family tree. It seemed the natural thing to do though when words couldn't get through...

Though I think I could have tried other approaches to help them understand my thoughts. I'd never recommend leaving home abruptly.

It first assumes that you cannot trust your family. It also leaves things on a bad note.

Explorer's motto: always leave things better than when you arrived in there.

You'll have no power to fix things, but you always have the option to be kind and give love to others.

I thank God for sharing his strength and giving me courage today. I was able to smile sincerely at Dr. Seth, at Ms. Charree, at Ms. Len, Jun, Marg, and Deanne, and Cecilia—and I realized how much a tiny gesture can help lighten up someone else's day.

2018-11-07 13:00 Philippines Wednesday

Don't stop believing.

Cecilia dragged me into the Brothers' House tour with the rest of the gang. I suppose greeting them all the way to the other side at the boodle fight before returning to Ms. Charee was the right choice.

My intention to be a friend came through!

The brothers are so cool! So human. They make the most of life because they have confidence in the love of Life.

Skating, biking, childish jokes, friendships, rivalries, ambition, doubts, faith, laughter...

Being a brother, one of them said, is not about being worthy as a person, but instead about how God is worthy and all his greatness.

How very true!

To whoever’s out there:

No matter where you are in your life and no matter what position you are put into; whenever that nagging feeling comes—"do I deserve this?" remember that you ask a wrong question.

The question is always whether the cause is worth it or not. Answer that, and you'll know what to do and where to put your energy into.

We do not choose our calling, but we choose our faith and meaning.

Life always puts you where you need to be. Your sole resource is what you believe in.

Don't stop learning, don't stop growing. Be open to new ideas, but also stand up for what you believe in.

2018-11-07 14:00 Philippines Wednesday

It's funny how a person's confidence level can only either increase or decrease as the number of group mates fluctuate.

For me, my leadership instincts work better in small numbers. Big crowds tend to overstimulate me and I go quiet to reserve energy.

The commonality among everyone, I think, is that the extent that individuality is compromised is positively correlated to the number of people (that is part of the group) present.

2018-11-07 14:28 Philippines Wednesday

Don't you get it? The anomaly is us—the consciousness, the ego; entities aren't supposed to think about themselves.

Organisms act according to their survival and self-interest, but they think about and react to outside threats (or opportunities) and predators (or friends). They don't flee (or fight) thinking, "how do I defend myself?"

Rather, they think, "how do I survive from this predator?"

Get it? The focus is on the foreign object.

The same way we flail even after hours of practice just because we become overly conscious of how to do things instead of focusing on the goal which would have naturally assisted us in accomplishing it (since we already did practice and it should all have been muscle memory).

We are minor creatures, swayed and small-mindedly occupied with our shadows. No different from a cat that is enamored by a mere laser point.

This thought occurred out of nowhere. But I remember a video that can show you stuff about performance anxiety:

Still, studying the self has shown exactly how studying the self made us ineffective. Pop quiz. Do you call this a paradox, or an irony?

I rather think it's more of an irony.

2018-11-07 19:00 Philippines Wednesday

Mah keyss.

The girly not-key looks so girly and so unlike me that I like it. It says "Open your mind!" on the tiny pink heart of it.

I think this was an excess Christmas gift when I was in late elementary school days or high school and it used to be a keychain, not a key, but look what I did to it haha

I really like how Ms. Siomai smiles back at me sweetly when I greet her and when I thank them for the meal with my own smiles.

I know she's just being polite, but she seems like she can be an easy-to-talk-to friend.

God always provides enough for his people.

Thank you for this meal.

2018-11-07 20:00 Philippines Wednesday

Peak Meeting adjourned!

Exciting big quests.

“Calm Spell”

I feel sad for some reason, almost to tears But this ain't nothing And it sure as hell ain't everything.

Keep your cool. It's okay. Take it slow.

Focus.

Yana's soul is fuzzy. Like, cozy fuzzy.

She

Tries to reach out to me. In bits, in chewable pieces.

I can feel Her.

Karu and I are out to get the second half of our dinner.

We finally established at tonight's Peak meeting the curfew—23:00. Thank God. Thank you, Ira and Moira.

I don't usually draw that way by the way. I am pretty flexible with art style. The problem? I'm no practitioner. I'm just an on-and-off hobbyist. I'm not even sure I'd count it as a hobby anymore. I used to draw a lot, but then I realized my true love was words.

2018-11-08 00:32 Philippines Thursday

I cried. 

A lot. From about 01:00 to 02:38.

I didn't know whether I'd write about this or not, since it's pretty much an inconvenient coincidence that caused it, but here I am.

After the meeting, Karu and I walked outside to get food, right? While walking with him, I wrote that previous entry above this.

Karu had lots of ideas and stories. He cut himself off at least twice, saying instead that I should finish my entry first since I lose my ideas pretty fast when another thing catches my interest.

Turns out he's the same. Walking together, I kind of sensed his slight frustration. But I didn't make room to dive that thought because I wasn't done finishing my thoughts for the entry yet.

We reach stoplight after stoplight, and he suggests that we can get food from a carinderia (small eatery) instead. Cheaper, healthier.

But I still wasn't done analyzing my thoughts for the entry. I kept typing and told him I leave it up to him, and that I'm good with whatever.

Then I noticed we were heading towards the convenience store instead. Only then was I done with the entry. He got my full attention.

We look at sandwiches. They seemed the best option in there.

But we only got 70 pesos. A sandwich that was even worth our time is at least 39 pesos.

I kept suggesting to him that I can go walk back to the house to get more money and he can wait in the store since I knew how much he disliked the action of going back and forth for such trivial things (even things that matter to him).

But he kept saying that my suggestion made no sense. That we had enough.

That confused me. I tried suggesting the 30-peso hotdog sandwiches. Then he said he didn't feel like eating anymore.

He entrusted the money to me and so I walked inside the convenience store while he remained outside and sat on the sidewalk.

I tried to assess the situation, and I thought maybe he liked the 39-peso sandwiches better than hotdogs, but he didn't want to make me have to resort to a hotdog sandwich just to fit the budget.

So that's exactly what I did. Maybe he'd like the sandwich. He didn't feel like eating anymore but we both knew he needed it.

And we head back home and as expected the first thing he did was light up a cigarette at the dirty kitchen.

It was quick, so I could tell he didn't want to be around people. Job, Ira, and Zenith were around.

Entering our room that I occupied was the lesser evil.

After taking our bites, he finally shared why he's so pissed.

He made his own logical assessment of his emotions.

"You are annoying sometimes."

Firstly, he said, he forgot the ideas he wanted to tell me about. Secondly, for some reason he also wanted me to make our decision as he gave suggestions on where to eat. Lastly, he really just wanted to have the time with me to walk and talk to each other.

This was the first time anything like it happened so I was deeply affected. He left the room for water and I took the chance to cry by establishing the threshold: the point where the tears are about to overflow. I wouldn't let it, and distracted myself with other thoughts until I got my neutral face back and cried silently until I reached the threshold again.

He got back, lied down, and we turned the lights off.

When I couldn't restrain my now willingly hidden tears, I turned my back against him and lied on my left side.

My tears overflowed, dying to spill everything. Everything. I did it all silently. I cried hot tears soundlessly.

He clicked his tongue, as he always did when he got pissed. Either it's because he thought I was just leaving things unfinished and going straight to sleep, or his musician ears caught the irregular breathing of my tear-soaked lungs (figuratively). (Fuck musicians.) After a minute maybe, he apologized for "getting pissed."

I wanted to say that it wasn't something he should apologize to me about, but I couldn't say a word. I knew my voice would betray my tears.

I cried some more in the quiet and then finally got the leaning-positive shade of my personality back when I was satisfied with crying my shit out. I lied down on my right this time, facing him.

I asked if he needed the blanket that was accidentally on his pillow, and he gestured a yes by lifting his head. I had a bit of trouble unfolding it, since it was in a messy fold, and was surprised that he helped me.

His hand traveled under the sheets and took my left leg so it was laying over his, as he usually did to show affection. I couldn't muster the balls to hug him as I usually did to return his affection and he sensed it, taking my left hand to let it rest on his left shoulder.

He asked me what was making me feel bad, since according to his understanding of the situation, no one was to blame. It's not wrong to want to write my journal entries. It's not wrong to want to walk and talk with your wife.

After multiple hesitations and anxiety over his patience (he repeatedly asked me what's up with such gentleness), I finally said that it's because I vowed to be a wife and a partner. But all I am is a failure. He touched my face and confirmed my tears.

It's good that I got to deal with the self-obsession somehow, as I realized halfway how my thoughts are beginning to be overly critical and close-mindedly inward. Still, I felt sad.

I felt too guilty to get over this emotionally-perceived mistake.

He said I have more "successes" than "failures," the complete opposite of him. He asked me to mount him (nothing sexual, although it did come to that later when I promoted it HAHA) so I could hug him more naturally.

I wanted to tell him he's wrong, but all I could do was shake my head to our darkness-adjusted eyes, because my voice kept breaking. I'm bad with crying.

He comforted me, saying he couldn't stay mad at me even if he wanted to, unlike his signature temper.

We basically ended on a kind note, but I still think we didn't end with the good we could have. We ended good in a way, but we still have obsessive dwellings on our respective egos. He still thinks he's a bad husband most of the time, and I still think I'm a bad wife most of the time.

We must find a way to get out of this rut. Replace the mode of thinking. It doesn't help anyone.

Also, as a note, Karu didn't know exactly how we got there either. To that conflict. We're usually more flexible than that. I'm just realized after the fact last "night" that he just came from a gig.

That could actually make sense, but I'm not ready to conclude yet.

[awkwardlyamusing-blog]

A Dog's Journey Blu-ray Review - Dogs are friends forever!

New Post has been published on http://doggietrainingclasses.com/a-dogs-journey-blu-ray-review-dogs-are-friends-forever/

A Dog's Journey Blu-ray Review - Dogs are friends forever!

Kidzworld checked out the Blu-ray for A Dog’s Journey. This heartwarming and emotionally-charged film comes home with some really fun and entertaining extra features. Read our cool Blu-ray review!

By: Lynn Barker

The book and movie A Dog’s Purpose continues in A Dog’s Journey. Smart and sweet doggie Bailey (voiced again by Josh Gad) loves living on the Michigan farm of his “boy,” Ethan (Dennis Quaid) and Ethan’s wife Hannah (Marg Helgenberger) who are grandparents of very young granddaughter C.J. She has a mutual lovefest with Bailey. However, C.J.’s very negative mom Gloria (Betty Gilpin) had rather have a music career than raise a baby on a boring farm and moves away with little C.J. When Bailey is passing on and ready for a new life, he promises Ethan to find C.J. and protect her at all costs. Can he keep this promise?

A Dog’s Journey Clip – “Unconditional Love”

Living on the Farm

When Hannah’s son Henry dies in an auto accident, his wife Gloria and baby C.J. come to live with Hannah and Ethan. Gloria is far from a friendly, attentive mom, however and refuses to leave C.J. with Hannah while she goes to pursue a singing career.

Gloria announces she is leaving with C.J.Courtesy of Universal Studios

Instead, after blaming a few bad parenting moments on dog Bailey, she takes C.J. and hits the road. When elderly Bailey is dying, Ethan asks him to come back, find C.J. and protect her. We know Bailey will.

It’s Bailey’s time to pass onCourtesy of Universal Studios

Another Life

Doggie Bailey is reincarnated as a beagle puppy named Molly whose brother Rocky is adopted by a cute Asian boy named Trent. He knows the now tween-aged C.J.

Young C.J. with Molly and young TrevorCourtesy of Universal Studios

She wants to adopt Molly but knows mom Gloria hates dogs. C.J. hides Molly and since Gloria drinks too much and is out a lot, she doesn’t notice the dog for a long time. Molly and C.J. meet and play with Trent and Rocky. Finally mom discovers Molly but reluctantly lets C.J. keep her. As they go through high school Trent would like C.J. to be his girlfriend. Hannah and Ethan try to visit but Gloria turns them away telling C.J. that they tried to steal the money dad left for her. 

Unhappy Gloria doesn’t like dogsCourtesy of Universal Studios

Bad Boyfriend  

18-year-old C.J. (Kathryn Prescott) who now wants to be a singer/songwriter, meets a low-life but cute guy named Shane (Jake Manley) who is into booze, drugs and partying. For a while C.J. tries to go along but when a party is busted by the cops, she is sent to jail. Trent takes care of Molly. C.J.’s community service sentence at a facility training dogs to sniff out cancer ends in Molly being a natural at it. When Shane grabs C.J., attacking her, she tells her drunk mom, who couldn’t care less. Mom also tells her she has no inheritance from her dad. Mom spent it a long time ago! C.J. is shattered. She leaves home in the family car only to be followed and chased by angry Shane in his car. A wreck follows and little Molly is killed.

Will C.J. and Trevor be a couple?Courtesy of Universal Studios

New Life

Bailey/Molly reincarnates this time as a huge mastiff dog called Big Dog by his gas station owner Joe. He has almost given up on finding C.J. but fate puts her at the gas station on her way to start a music career in New York City. She has no idea that he is the reincarnated Molly and goes on her way.

C.J. meets Big DogCourtesy of Universal Studios

Sad Big Dog leads a nice life with Joe but ends up dying before ever finding C.J. again. This time he comes back as a feisty tiny terrier puppy dubbed Max. Max is up for adoption but won’t let anyone but C.J. adopt him. He snaps at everyone and is almost scheduled for euthanasia when he spots C.J., chases after her and leaps into her arms. She adopts him.

Molly adopts MaxCourtesy of Universal Studios

Another Bad Boyfriend

Trying to make it as a singer while dog walking to earn money, Molly lives with her uptight, critical boyfriend Barry (Kevin Claydon) who has his own dog Duke and keeps telling C.J. she’ll never make it as a singer. She still has stage fright and won’t sing in public.

C.J. walks dogs for a livingCourtesy of Universal Studios

Max leads C.J. to run into Trent (Henry Lau) who has moved to NYC from London and has a girlfriend Liesl (Daniella Barbosa) who is very possessive of him. Barry and C.J. break up and she sleeps on friends’ couches finally ending up staying in Trent’s guest room.

Illness for Trent

Little Max smells cancer on Trent. His girlfriend ditches him and it is C.J. who sees him through treatment to health. Mom Gloria has cleaned up her act, meets with a reluctant C.J. who can’t forgive her. Mom encourages her to bite the bullet and sing in public.

C.J. finally performs in publicCourtesy of Universal Studios

With Trent’s support, she sings at a club and is a big success. After reading some letters Gloria gave her from her dad, C.J. wants to visit Ethan and Hannah at their farm.

Ethan, Hannah and Bailey on the farmCourtesy of Universal Studios

A Happy Ending?

While C.J., Trent and Max are visiting the farm, Ethan senses that Max is really Bailey and proves it to C.J. who realizes that the other dogs in her life were Bailey as well. She also realizes that she actually loves Trent. Will their relationship blossom? What is in store for Max next and what’s going to happen to C.J., Trent and her family? What is Bailey’s eventual fate?

Trevor has always loved C.J.Courtesy of Universal Studios

Special Extra Features

This Blu-ray/DVD/Digital set looks and sounds great and contains a bunch of really enjoyable extra features.

10 Deleted or Extended Scenes are all wonderful and are either adorable, dog-centered or build the characters well. All are very worth watching!

Young C.J. is fun-lovingCourtesy of Universal Studios

Gag Reel is a hoot. It is focused on dogs doing cute things on set that aren’t part of the script, dogs licking faces etc., Dennis Quaid who plays Ethan, joking with kids and dogs, a bug attack etc. Very silly fun to watch.

Working with Dogs –all of the film’s major actors tell us why they love working with dogs. Filmmakers and some actors bring their dogs to set. Dog trainers talk about training the film’s dogs with love and trust and they give tips on training your dog.  Dennis Quaid tells us how he felt a special bond with the dog playing Bailey. Soooo sweet.

Ethan and Bailey always playCourtesy of Universal Studios

A Dog’s Sequel – Josh Gad, the voice of Bailey in two films says he cried on reading the script. The other actors talk about their characters. The actress who plays meanie Gloria tells us she actually loves dogs and found it hard to be at all mean to them in the movie. Director Gail Mancuso on the story’s drama for dogs and people. Nice.

Everyone’s Best Friend presents all the actors talking about their personal dogs at home and the bond they feel with them. Some of them came to set. One actress has cats and dogs at home, one actor can’t wait to adopt a dog etc. Awwww.

Grandma and Bailey play with little C.J.Courtesy of Universal Studios

A Healing Journey concentrates on the reincarnation story with filmmakers and the book author talking about the possibility that animals can “come back” in other animals and our feeling that connection. The film helps kids, teens and even adults deal with the passing of a beloved pet. Cool.

Scoring the Journey deals with the film’s very touching soundtrack and a young pianist who loves dogs and provided some of the best of the film’s score. So cool!

Audio Commentary with Director Gail Mancuso is interesting as the director, who loves dogs, tells us about the scenes and filming process, working with the dogs etc.

Wrapping Up

As we said in our review when this film was in theaters, the movie is a mixed bag; very entertaining and heartwarming but with a lot of emotional push and pull that makes us feel like we are a dog on a leash being jerked through the lives and especially the passings of lots of cute dogs… there are four of them! 

C.J. has to hide MollyCourtesy of Universal Studios

If you can rally and root for the “next dog” each time Bailey passes then you will enjoy the film.

Max/Bailey is glad CJ. and Trevor are togetherCourtesy of Universal Studios

The extras provided on this Blu-ray/DVD/Digital set are wonderful and upbeat. They are so warm, funny and cuddly that they make us go up to four stars on this take home version of the film.

A Dog’s Journey Blu-ray Rating: 

Courtesy of Universal Studios

A Dog’s Journey home entertainment sets are out to purchase now! 

Share Your Feelings!

What about your dog, cat or other pet lets you know they will love you forever? Do you sometimes think your current pet is just like one you had in the past? Do you like movies that center on animals?  Let’s hear from you with a comment here or on your Kidzworld profile page!

  Source link Dog Training Tips

[justinmoviereviews]

The Best Simpsons Episodes (With Showing My Work)

In one episode of the Simpsons, Homer and Lisa have a fight, and Lisa disappears, and Marge askes Homer where she went, and Homer responds that she better be out making him a great big chocolate apology cake. I don’t even remember what episode that’s from. It’s just a line that sticks out in my head about once a week. The point is, the Simpsons is the funniest show anybody has ever made. It’s probably responsible for 75% of my sense of humor. Probably every male between the ages of 25 and 35 can say the same thing.

But what episode is the best? Here is my top ten. And I’m not here to say this is the definitive top ten, or that you’re stupid if you don’t agree. The Simpsons is like music, it’s just here to enrich your life. You probably have your own top ten, but this is mine:

Season 2:

Lisa’s Substitute

Season 3:

When Flanders Failed

Season 4:

Homer the Heretic

Mr. Plow

Lisa’s First Word

I Love Lisa

Whacking Day

Season 5:

Homer’s Barbershop Quartet

Rosebud

Homer the Vigilante

Homer and Apu

Homer Loves Flanders

Bart Gets an Elephant

Sweet Seymour Skinner’s Baaadaaasssss Song

The Boy Who Knew Too Much

Season 6:

Lisa’s Rival

Homer Badman

Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy

Bart’s Comet

A Star is Burns

The Springfield Connection

Lemon of Troy

Who Shot Mr. Burns Pt 1

Treehouse of Horror V (The Shinning, Time and Punishment, Nightmare Cafeteria)

Season 7:

Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily

Lisa the Vegetarian

King-Size Homer

Mother Simpson

Team Homer

Two Bad Neighbors

Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in The Curse of the Flying Hellfish

Summer of 4 Ft. 2

Season 8:

Bart After Dark

Lisa’s Date with Density

Hurricane Neddy

Brother From Another Series

Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment

Grade School Confidential

Burns Baby, Burns

Season 9:

Lisa’s Sax

The Cartridge Family

The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons

Lisa the Skeptic

The Joy of Sect

Lisa the Simpson

Simpson Tide

Criteria:

Every episode will be judged on the following criteria:

Does it have a jaw-dropping hilarious joke?

How many good jokes does it have?

Does it have something that stands out to me instantly? Like for example great big chocolate apology cake?

Is it good, in addition to being funny? The Flying Hellfish Episode is hilarious and also a really cool episode of tv

Is it sweet or sincere? Lisa’s Substitute isn’t that funny, but it’s really sweet and has a great message

Other

Lisa’s Substitute:

Jaw-dropping hilarious joke: none I can think of

Lots of good jokes: I actually can’t think of a single great joke from this episode. Something abo Bart running for office and everyone being too cool to actually vote for him, maybe

Something that stands out instantly: Yes, the ending, which isn’t funny at all, it’s totally serious, but it chokes me up

Is it good: Absolutely. One of the sweetest episodes of all time. Lisa’s substitute tells her incredible things about life and her future, and then Homer has a moment of great parenting and is smart enough to appreciate it.

Is it sweet: Yes. Maybe the sweetest and most sincere episode of the series.

This is a great episode but not quite funny enough to make the cut.

When Flander’s Failed:

Jaw-dropping hilarious joke: No

Lots of good jokes: Yes. Barney becomes a sex symbol as soon as he puts on a “Kiss Me I’m Lefthanded” shirt

Something that stands out instantly: Yes, the ending, which is actually really sweet and sincere, but also kinda funny

Is it good: It’s great. Homer has an arc where he goes from being a jealous neighbor to being a total dickhead and then to redeeming himself with a great moment of decency. He also requires four beers to do it. It’s also just a good story.

Is it sweet: Yes. I’m a sucker for the sweet episodes. I love the ending to this one, where Homer wrangles the whole town to help Ned, and the whole town is willing because of Ned’s decency. I love good guy Homer.

This isn’t as moving as Lisa’s Substitute, but it’s funnier. But I can still find a better sweet/funny episode. This one doesn’t quite make the cut.

Homer the Heretic:

Jaw-dropping hilarious joke: Almost. The sequence of Homer skipping church and having the greatest morning ever, complete with wrapping a waffle around a stick of butter, and enjoying a football game that replaces a news talk show on TV for no reason, is a masterpiece.

Lots of good jokes: This episode stands out for having one of the best sequences of the series, but it slows down a little in the second half. It picks up at the end though when Homer fantasizes Ned’s house burning down while he relaxes in the hammock.

Something that stands out: Yes, the skipping church sequence.

Is it good: It’s funny and clever but doesn’t have its own story arc that is particularly strong on its own.

Is it sweet: Not particularly. Ned does a good thing for Homer, and I suppose if you think faith is a good thing you’ll enjoy the ending.

A great one, maybe not quite funny enough to make the cut.

I Love Lisa:

Jaw-dropping hilarious joke: Not quite.

Lots of good jokes: Oh god yes. It says “choo” on it and there’s a picture of a train! Homer using Ralph to do yardwork. Chief Wiggum shooting a nut and then threatening the rest of the nuts. “Everyone knows I’m the best actor in this ridiculous school!” “I am not a butt.” Bart as John Wilkes Booth. The George Washington play inspiring the bullies to go learn more about American history. The soundtrack, which bookends the episode with “Monster Mash.” This is when the Simpsons hits its 3 hilarious jokes per minute stride.

Something that Stands Out: For some reason “I choo-choo-choose you has always stuck out in my head. And as a fan of the season of fall I’m also a fan of the fall episodes. When I was a kid fall was an actual season.

Is it good: Yes. It’s not amazing, but any show that makes its own President’s Day episode gets some points from me.

Is it sweet: Kinda. The ending is a good resolution. If Homer is the primary joke maker of the show and Bart is the little asshole who’s too charismatic to hate, then Lisa is the heart, and secretly the best character.

This one didn’t make my first cut because I assumed my affection for it was nostalgia, but it definitely makes the list.

Bart Gets an Elephant:

Jaw-dropping hilarious joke: Ehhhh maybe not, but it has about three that are damn close.

Lots of good jokes: A guy who works in a peanut shop giving an extended monologue about how he was right to initiate a training for how to deal with a rampaging elephant even though everyone laughed at him, but then getting trampled anyway because he took too long to deliver the monologue is the highlight of this one, but there are dozens of others.

Something that Stands out: Not particularly, other than that when I think about this episode I think about just how many highlights it has. Barney Gumble is trapped inside an oil pit for some reason. As soon as he is rescued he lights up a cigarette and the tar on his body causes him to catch fire. He doesn’t even smoke!

Is it good: Yes. I love most Bart episodes, especially the ones that show that deep down Bart is just a sweet kid who’s weird enough to fall in love with a pet elephant.

Is it sweet: Not really. Maybe a little.

This will probably make the cut.

Lisa’s Rival:

Jaw-dropping hilarious joke: Sugar.

Lots of good jokes. Yep. Bart gets Milhouse on the FBI’s Most Wanted List, then tips off the FBI as to his location.

Something that Stands Out: I don’t know why, but I’ve always loved that during the saxophone competition between Lisa and her rival, all the other kids are dancing. To me that’s why the Simpsons isn’t just hysterical, it’s also good and decent in a way that none of its descendants ever really were. There’s something so wholesome about all these kids just appreciating good saxophone music.

Is it good: Yes. It’s great. Lisa learns a lesson and makes a friend.

Is it sweet: Yes. Most Lisa episodes usually are.

I love this episode. It is near and dear to my heart, and not even for the jokes as much as for the story.

Grampa Vs. Sexual Inadequacy:

Jaw-dropping hilarious joke: Yes. They didn’t start chasing us until you turned on that chase music.

Lots of good jokes: Yes. Dozens. Mostly in the middle, when Homer and Abe go into business together.

Something that stands out: Chase music.

Is it good: It’s great. One of my favorite serious moments at the end where Homer and Abe come to terms with the fact that they’re both screw ups.

Is it sweet: Yeah.

Is the middle section of this episode strong enough to carry a slightly less memorable beginning, and a weaker side-story? Possibly.

A Star is Burns:

Jaw-dropping hilarious joke: McBain 4, Let’s Get Silly.

Lots of good jokes: Upon further inspection, these are loafers isn’t even the funniest part of this episode, which ends with George C. Scott winning an Oscar for stealing Hans Moleman’s idea for a movie. Yes.

Something that Stands Out: I always thought Man Gets Hit By Football looked like a pretty damn good movie.

Is it good: Yes. I actually love that they did a crossover episode with the Critic, even though Matt Groening apparently hated it.

Is it sweet: Not particularly.

This episode has so many highlights that it has to at least be in consideration.

Lemon of Troy:

Jaw-dropping hilarious joke: I don’t think so.

Lots of good jokes: Yes, this episode in fact ups the ante on jokes per second. The fake wig that makes Bart look like the Beatles. The Homer doppleganger who bites into a lemon and pretends not to hate it.

Something that stands out: Not that I can think of.

Is it good: Yes, as a story this is one of my favorite episodes ever. I don’t know why. Maybe it just reminds me of being a kid.

Is it sweet: Not particularly.

I love this episode so much, there’s no way it doesn’t make the top ten.

Treehouse of Horror V:

Jaw-dropping hilarious joke: I’ve always loved Homer turning the car around twice to lock the house doors.

Lots of good jokes: This is the best Treehouse of Horror episode so it automatically warrants consideration. Anyway, yes, there are lots of good jokes. Nightmare Cafeteria is slightly weaker than the other two for comedy, but it’s the scariest of the three.

Something that stands out: It always bugged me that Homer turned down a rich and fancy life with no sisters-in-law because he couldn’t stick around for another 10 seconds to see that it rained donuts.

Is it good: I’m starting to wonder if maybe the Treehouse of Horror where Willie haunts the kids’ dreams isn’t better than this one. But no, don’t overthink this. These are three perfect mini-stories.

Is it sweet: Um, Willie keeps trying to save the day?

I don’t think this will make the cut but it is glorious.

Team Homer:

Jaw-dropping hilarious joke: I can quote the entire “that team sure did suck last night” sequence, up to the ensuing conversation Homer has with his children.

Lots of good jokes: Oh god yes. Every damn minute of this masterpiece.

Something that stands out: I mean I’ve seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.”

Is it good: Yes, mostly just for how funny it is.

Is it sweet: No.

This is when these episodes start to get so funny that trying to rank them is kind of impossible and not even really that satisfying. But this has always stood out in my mind and will make the top ten.

Raging Abe Simpson:

Jaw-dropping hilarious joke: not really

Lots of good jokes: Yes. It really isn’t fair that a pelican chooses to land on Abe’s head and drop a fish in his pants at the exact moment when Mr. Burns is questioning his dignity.

Something that stands out: Abe, unlike his son, was actually quite the badass when he was younger.

Is it good: Yes. If this episode cracks the top ten it will be on the strength of its plot, which is possibly my all time favorite Simpsons plot (btw, all-time favorite subplot in an otherwise lesser episode is a tie between Homer going into the grease business and Homer going into the sugar business, which now that I think about it is in Lisa’s Rival, which means that episode is definitely shooting into the top ten)

Is it sweet: Yeah, Bart spends time with his grandpa and realizes that he’s actually cool.

Summer of 4 Ft. 2:

Jaw-dropping hilarious joke: “Hey he looks just like you poindexter!” “What are you talking about you got the dud right here! Stand up for yourself poindexter.”

Lots of good jokes: Yes. This is one of those episodes where the main plot is a relatively straight story about Lisa, while the Homer subplot steals all the best moments. I bet if I dissected this further most of my favorite episodes would be like that. The Bart subplot is also hysterical. “They must have seen you.”

Something that stands out: The whole Mystery Date sequence should be played on a loop on a tv screen on my tombstone, just so my mourners can enjoy it for eternity.

Is it good: Yes, like almost all Lisa episodes.

Is it sweet: Yes, like almost all Lisa episodes.

Lisa’s Date with Density:

Jaw-dropping hilarious joke: Not quite, although I’ve always been a fan of “you kissed a girl, that is so gay!”

Lots of good jokes: Yep.

Something that stands out: Another one where you realize that Lisa Simpson really is an amazing person.

Is it good: Yes.

Is it sweet: Kind of.

I didn’t do this episode justice with that description, but it is one of my favorites.

Homer vs. the 18th Ammendment:

Jaw-dropping hilarious moment: I think there are about 7.

Lots of good jokes: Rex Banner is having a birthday party where his subordinate cops take him out for ice cream, but he can’t enjoy it because he can’t catch the beer baron. That’s about the 97th funniest part of this episode.

Something that stands up: This might be the funniest episode of the whole show. I don’t know what it’s competition would be.

Is it good: It’s amazing.

Is it sweet: Homer saves Wiggum’s job, maybe?

A top ten. Possibly number 2 of all time.

Burns Baby, Burns:

Jaw-dropping hilarious moment: Too Many Grandmas.

Lots of good jokes. Yes. I was kinda down on this one for some reason before I started but there’s no way it isn’t a top ten.

Something that stands out: Too Many Grandmas. There are just way too many grandmas.

Is it good: Oh god yes.

Is it sweet: In no way.

A masterpiece. Probably a top five.

The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons:

Jaw-dropping hilarious moment: Yes.

Lots of good jokes: Yes.

Something that stands out: Yes.

Is it good: Yes.

Is it sweet: Actually, yes.

My favorite episode. This one isn’t even that hard for me. It gets slightly less funny at the end, but that’s like saying sex with Kate Upton got a little bit difficult at that one point where you had to think about baseball to keep from cumming too early. This is the banging Kate Upton of Simpsons episodes.

The Joy of Sect:

Jaw-dropping hilarious moment: Actually, I don’t think so.

Lots of good jokes: Yes. Tons. Many of which are almost jaw-dropping.

Something that stands out: This is one of the weirder episodes, and one with one of the best plots.

Is it good: Yes. Amazing.

Is it sweet: maybe?

There’s no way this doesn’t make the list

10. I Love Lisa

9. Burns Baby, Burns

8. Bart Gets an Elephant

7. The Joy of Sect

6. Lisa’s Rival

5. Lisa’s Date with Density

4. Team Homer

3. Lemon of Troy

2. Homer vs. the 18th Amendment

1. The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons

[wellmeaningshutin]

Short Story #12: Ghost Town.

Written: 1/4/2017

When they thought of visiting the ghost town they didn’t know what they would find, it could’ve been money, women, adventure, or any other exciting thing that would change their lives forever, making the trip a memory that would be burned into their minds for eternity, forever changing them, but what they found they should’ve expected: a lot of boring old buildings and dirt. They spent about an hour there, wondering around, checking out buildings, bored out of their minds, before they decided to drive back to their home town, which was four hours away. The drive was filled with silence, there was no point in talking, the trip was supposed to repair their fading friendship but it just made them realize that things were coming to an end, there was no saving them. When they got back to town, and each one went into their homes, they knew that they’d probably be out of communication within a month, their call to adventure left them with ennui.

Five years later Marge would get drunk in some seedy bar, the Scab, drinking away the troubles of her failed marriage, listening to the clacking of the pool balls, wondering how her life became so shitty. She was happy once, wasn’t she? She had a lot of friends, found the love of her life, found her dream job, all the things she thought she wanted. Six years ago she had the whole world in her hands, she was capable of everything and she was genuinely happy, but then she grew apart from her friends and confided more in her wife, who would later lose interest in Marge and start fooling around with some trashy waitress, well she wasn’t actually trashy, Marge had never seen her before, she just like to believe that. It was easier for her to believe that her wife left her for some boozed up temptress, stealing her woman away unfairly, than to believe that somebody else was just better suited for the love of her life, and that she wasn’t “the one” to her own one. When her romantic and social lives went into the toilet she stopped caring about her job, she started to lose direction in life, and the next thing she knew she had been spending two years of her life either working or getting wasted, no in between, no purpose, no interests. The moment she could recall it all going south was when she and her friends all decided to go to that god damned ghost town, so she decided that in the morning, when she was all sobered up, she would make the drive there and burn the place down.

At first the idea started as a joke she made to herself, then it became a fantasy, and as she continued to think about it the plan started to seem more and more real. When she woke up the next morning, even though she was sober, there was no doubt about it in her mind. What’d she have to lose? She showered real quick, not to get clean but because it felt great after a night of drinking, got in her car, bought a couple gas canisters and filled up her car while she was at it, and then began the drive.

There was no scenery on the drive, as she remembered, just a lot of open land, nothing but open land and the town and mountains behind her, which eventually became swallowed up by the emptiness, and then she was just surrounded by bland, open land, in a way like the ocean. It was as terrible as she remembered it.

When she got to the ghost town she was surprised, even though she didn’t know why, that it looked just like she remembered it, just a bunch of old buildings and dirt, and after ten seconds of taking in the sights she popped her trunk, brought out the gas and started making her way through the buildings, dousing as much as she could but staying in motion, having to cover as much space as possible, but when she entered the saloon to throw some gas around she noticed a half eaten meal on the bar counter, still seemed kind of fresh. She didn’t know who it could belong to, there were no other cars in town, it was pretty small and easy to tell, and she didn’t think it was a robber or anything like that, what was there to steal? And drug dealers would definitely bring cars, plus it would make more sense to just deal in the desert instead of going all the way into this town. In her state of confusion she did the first thing that came to mind, and loudly asked “Hello?”

Her questioned was answered by the jingling of spurs, coming from somewhere in the back room of the saloon. She watched the back door intently, and realized that it didn’t have any dust or dirt on it, and then she looked around and noticed that other sections of the saloon, like the bar counter, a couple tables, some chairs, were also clean. The door swung open, she turned around and saw a tall figure, at least taller than her, dressed in a ridiculous, black, cowboy outfit, like something out of an old western kids show, but he had an intense face, growing beard, sun burnt and scarred, and he looked at her, at first with hostility, unsure how to evaluate this stranger, but after a couple seconds his expression softened and he returned her initial question with a “Howdy”.

An hour and six beers, divided between the both of them, later, and after some apologies about the gasoline, she learned that the cowboy had lived in the town for years, almost his whole life, and she was convinced that he was a ghost, although he avidly denied it. He explained to her, with a story that sounded made up, that when he was growing up he and his brother, who apparently was somewhere in the town, were big fans of western shows, their interest turning into passion and then obsession. They wanted more than anything to grow up and become cowboys, but they would later learn that that life no longer existed, the age of the cowboy was long gone, and that crushing disappointment, as it soaked in, started to lead the boys into a deep depression. They stopped eating most of their meals, mostly eating after their parents would pressure them to, they stopped caring about school, really everything, and the only time they were ever animated was when their show would come on, from 7-8pm, Hee Haw Rogers (she didn’t think this was a real show), and then would cry for a while after it ended, it was the only glimpse into the cowboy world that they had, the last surviving element. Their parents grew more and more worried, and after an aunt, or some other family member the cowboy couldn’t remember, had passed and left the family with a large sum of money, the parents decided to buy plane tickets and go down to LA to watch a recording of Hee Haw Rogers.

The boys were finally animated, they were ecstatic at all moments before the trip, barely able to sleep, running around in cowboy costumes, finally eating again, and for the week before the trip the parents were relieved, they were finally being a family again. However, when the family arrived to the set of the show and saw the behind the scenes of everything, they were shattered. Their cowboy world was still dead, their heroes fake, not even the desert was real, and their depression returned even stronger.

The second night after they were back from LA their father found the cowboy and his brother on top of the roof, ready to end it, crying and reciting the theme song, hoping it would take them to the world of the cowboys, all dead, reciting it like some magical spell. The father was able to talk them down and the parents grew more and more worried, brought in some specialists who would mostly get frustrated and leave, and then the parents started to turn on each other, the welfare of their marriage depending on the welfare of their children. They fought often, at first hiding it from the boys but eventually just yelling wherever, the boys were hardly noticing anything around them anymore. Then, one morning, the cowboy woke up to see his parents in his room, smiling, and they told him to pack his bags, grab all his cowboy gear, and then meet them in the car in twenty minutes, and even though he didn’t know what they had planned he knew his life was about to change.

They drove the boys out to the ghost town, where they excitedly ran around in the cowboy outfits, finally in the world they belonged to, finally animated and happy, and they ran around until night fell, only to realize that their parents and the car had disappeared. In an inn they found large amounts of bottled water, packaged food, and a note from their parents expressing how they were failures and how this is the boy’s new life now, and the brothers had become happier than they ever had before. They ran around town all night, naming and claiming buildings, and eventually divided the town down the middle, splitting it amongst themselves. Their parents came back the next day, expecting the boys to change their minds about all the cowboy business after having spent an uncomfortable night in the town, but the boys were happier than they had ever been before, rambling about how they’re the last cowboys, and so their parents made a tough decision to leave the boys there, they were dead either way anyways, and that they’d drive back to the ghost town at the beginning of every month bringing supplies for them. Every time they drove to the town they expected the boys to be ready to come home, but they never were. They were born to be cowboys and could never change.

Marge really didn’t know how to react to the story, so she just decided that the guy was a ghost and was just spinning some tale to snatch her soul, or whatever ghosts do, and she started to get up, but stopped when she heard somebody kick in the saloon doors, asking where the girl was. She was confused. The man was also bearded and was almost identical to the first cowboy, except this one had been dressed in all white and had a revolver in his hand. The cowboy in black pulled his gun too, somersaulted over a table, and fired a couple shots at the man in white who ducked outside, and the whole scene amazed her, mostly because she didn’t realize until shots were fired that they were toy guns, and the whole thing seemed like some sort of odd game. Not knowing how she played into any of this she stood up and made a comment about having to leave, something about leaving her oven on, but the cowboy in black slipped his arm around her neck and used her as a human shield, demanding that his brother cease fire or he shoots the girl. It was at that point that she realized that he was supposed to be the bad guy.

“Alright alright, you got me for now Slick, but I’ll be back with the sheriff and the posse and the horses and I’ll give you a good ol’ western justice yes sir, you can’t win them all!” The cowboy in white shouted from outside the doorway, out of Marge’s view, then she could see him run off into the other side of town, and grew worried when “Slick” only tightened his grip. He gave a smile to her, the only word that could describe it was “dastardly”, and her whole body flooded with fear. Alarms sounded off in her head telling her that she needed to escape, quick, and as she looked around the room desperately she noticed the gas cans, began to reach for a lighter in her pocket, but the cowboy known as slick lifted her up and slammed her down onto a table, the last thing she could remember was the feeling of it breaking beneath her.

She woke up in the middle of the empty landscape, lying on the ground, night sky above her, town not too far in the distance, the ground beneath her uneven. She tried to move her arms but she couldn’t, and she also was unable to sit up. She looked at her body and realized that she was tied up, lying there on the train tracks like some scene in a cheesy western, but this wasn’t a movie. She was so terrified she wanted to scream, which she did, and she hear laughter in response. She heard the jingling of spurs and saw slick waling up to her, grinning that dastardly grin, telling her not to worry, she’d be fine, his brother was a real hero and was going to play his part soon, it just had to be exciting. She screamed again. He bent down, started petting her hair, and repeated the same phrases, word for word, as if they were memorized, and she wondered if she was the first girl this happened to. She began to cry.

After little while that felt like an hour she heard slick give a satisfied grunt, and she saw the brother, the cowboy in white, her supposed hero running out toward the tracks, firing his toy gun towards slick, who started to use Marge as a shield, yelling back insults of “city slicker” or “dandy”, and then her tears slowed, because she thought she wasn’t in any real danger, this was just a game for them, probably some episodes of that Hee Haw show that they’re just playing out, and all games had to end right?

“Ya know I played hero last time but I gotta say being the bad guy sure is durn tootin’ fun”, slick mumbled to her as he hooted and popped off shots at the supposed hero who was now about 3/4th’s of the way to the tracks. Her tears gave way to agitation and frustration, she just wanted the dumb game to be over so that she could leave and never come back, but as she looked at the hero she noticed a bright light glowing behind him, and then he and his brother both saw the town start to catch fire, completely forgot about Marge, and started running towards the town making frantic noises as they ran.

As she was lying on the tracks, forgotten about, she started to feel them shake, he panic returned. She called out for the cowboys but they were too busy trying to fight the fire. She couldn’t roll free, she could hardly even move. When the train grew close, the light right in her face, the whistle roaring, she realized that this was how the trip should’ve gone the first time.