#but also the emotional gravity and support they lend to one another

[nefertiti-fooling-fellow]

One of my favorite dynamics is partners-in-crimes, lovers but also best friends, enabler and the enabled, goofy silly dumbasses perhaps, and that Mal maze scene fed me VERY WELL.

[likealittleheartbeat]

The Queer Platonic Love of Aang & Zuko

Friend. What a weighty and intimate word in Avatar The Last Airbender. The series’ “found family” is iconic at this point, and is literally established as a “family” by Katara in the third episode. She pulls Aang back from the outrage of the Avatar state, saying “Monk Gyatso and the other monks may be gone, but you still have a family. Sokka and I, we’re your family now.”

 As I’ve said before, establishing this central safety net of trusted people is essential to Aang’s healing. Still, it’s interesting to me that they insist on this group as a “family” rather than something that might emphasize “friendship.” Something along the lines of ‘we’re your friends and we’re here with you.’ I can think of several animated shows that have done as much successfully. The show withholds the word “friend” for another purpose. I’ll happily admit that Aang and the others describe each other as “friends” throughout the series, but rarely is the use of the word (through pacing, repetition, or emotional context) given a sense of gravity in those moments. 

However, three scenes in the series rely heavily on the word “friend,” and each scene connects Aang more and more profoundly with Zuko, eventually revealing that the show’s entire plot hinges on the friendship between these two boys. In a series so latent with symbolism, what do we make of these star-crossed friends? The relationship between Aang and Zuko, I want to suggest, is meant to explore Platonic Love in all its depth, especially within a masculine culture that not only devalues it, but views its queer implications as inherently dangerous to the dominant power structures of an empire.

Get ready zukaang fans for a long-ass atla meta analysis...

“If we knew each other back then, do you think we could’ve been friends, too?”

The first time the word “friend” is uttered between them, Aang is perched on a branch, waiting for Zuko (who is laid out on a bed of leaves the Avatar made for him) to wake up after his blue spirit rescue. “You know what the worst part about being born over a hundred years ago is?” Aang waxes, “I miss all the friends I used to hang out with. Before the war started I used to always visit my friend Kuzon. The two of us, we'd get in and out of so much trouble together. He was one of the best friends I ever had...and he was from the Fire Nation, just like you. If we knew each other back then do you think we could have been friends too?” The scene stood out for me when I first watched it for the melancholy and stillness. We are not given a flashback like we did when Aang talked about Bumi or Gyatso in earlier episodes. We have to sit with Aang’s loss of a male friend. It echoes a veteran’s loss of a war buddy more than anything a western audience would expect in a children’s show about the power of friendship. Instead of simply mourning, Aang invites Zuko into the past with him. He invites Zuko to imagine a time before the war, a land of innocence, where they could live together. And between them there is a moment of reflection given to this invitation (...until Zuko shoots a fucking fire blast at Aang). 

The wistful mood returns when the two boys arrive back to their respective beds. Aang is asked by a loopy fevered Sokka if he made any “friends” on his trip, to which Aang sadly replies, “No, I don’t think I did” before tucking away to sleep. Aang’s mournful moments often stand out against his bubbly personality, but this moment stands out moreso because its the final moment for Aang in the episode. For the first time, he doesn’t receive comfort in his dejection. He doesn’t even confide in his peers. The solemnity and secrecy of this failed “friendship” is remarkable. 

It’s in the next symbolic gesture that I think Avatar reveals what’s at stake in the concept of “friendship.” Zuko, in the next scene, lays down to rest after his adventurous night, looks pensively at the fire nation flag in his room, and then turns his back on it. We realize, especially after the previous revelations in “The Storm,” that Aang’s gestures of “friendship” have caused Zuko to doubt the authority of the Fire Nation.

Now all three remaining nations have misogynistic tendencies, but the Fire Nation celebrates a specific brand of toxic masculinity, and Zuko longs to emulate it even after it has rejected and scarred him. In the episode, “The Storm,” which directly precedes “The Blue Spirit,” we see how Zuko failed to replicate masculinity’s demands. In a room of men, he disregards honorifics to speak out in the name of care and concern for people’s well-being over strategy. Though the war room was all men, we later see that The Fire Nation does not exclude women from participating in this form of toxic masculinity. (Shoutout to Azula, one of the best tragic villains of all time!) This gender parity prevents disgraced men, like Zuko, from retaining pride of place above women. So Zuko’s loving act and refusal to fight his father puts him at the lowest of the low in the social hierarchy of the Fire Nation, completely emasculated and unworthy of respect.

Since then, Zuko has been seeking to restore himself by imitating the unfeeling men of the war room and his unfeeling sister, barking orders and demands at his crew. The final redemptive act for this purpose, of course, is to capture the Avatar, who’s very being seems to counteract the violent masculinity at the heart of the Fire Nation. In most contemporary Euro-American understandings, Aang is by no means masculine. He’s openly affectionate, emotional, giggly, and supportive of everyone in his life, regardless of gender. He practices pacifism and vegetarianism, and his hobbies include dancing and jewelry-making. And, foremost, he has no interest in wielding power. (@rickthaniel has an awesome piece about Aang’s relationship to gender norms and feminism). 

In addition to the perceived femininity of Aang’s behavior, he’s equally aligned with immaturity. Aang’s childishness is emphasized in the title of the first episode, “The Boy in the Iceberg,” and then in the second episode when Zuko remarks, “you’re just a kid.” Aang, as a flying boy literally preserved against adulthood, also draws a comparison to another eternally boyish imp in the western canon: Peter Pan. This comparison becomes more explicit in “The Ember Island Players.” His theatrical parallel is a self-described “incurable trickster” played by a woman hoisted on wires mimicking theatrical productions of Peter Pan. The comparison draws together the conjunction of femininity and immaturity Aang represents to the Fire Nation.

When Zuko is offered friendship and affection by Aang, then, he faces a paradigm-shifting internal conflict. To choose this person, regardless of his spiritual status, as a “friend,” Zuko must relate himself to what he perceives as Aang’s femininity and immaturity, further demeaning himself in the eyes of his father and Fire Nation culture. The banished prince would need to submit to the softness for which he’s been abused and banished. This narrative of abuse and banishment for perceived effeminate qualities lends itself easily enough to parallels with a specific queer narrative, that of a young person kicked out of their house for their sexuality and/or gender deviance. 

I want to point out that Aang’s backstory, too, can be read through a queer lens. Although the genocide of the air nomads more explicitly parallels the experiences of victims to imperial and colonial violence, I can also see how the loss of culture, history, friends, and mentors for a young effiminate boy can evoke the experience of queer men after the AIDs pandemic and the government’s damning indifference. In fact, colonial violence and the enforcement of rigid gender roles have historically travelled hand-in-hand. Power structures at home echo the power structures of a government. Deviance from the dominant norms disrupt the rigid structures of the empire. Aang’s background highlights how cultures based in something besides hierarchy and dominance, whether they be queer cultures or indigenous societies, threaten the logic of imperialism, and thus become targets of reform, neglect, and aggression by the expanding empire and its citizens. Survivors are left, as Aang was, shuffling through the remnants, searching for some ravaged piece of history to cling to.

We begin the series, then, with two queer-coded boys, one a survivor of broad political violence, the other a survivor of more intimate domestic abuse, and both reeling from the ways the Fire Nation has stigmatized sensitivity. But the queer narrative extends beyond the tragic backstories toward possibility and hope. The concept of platonic love proposed here, though it does not manifest until later, is a prospect that will bring peace to the two boys' grief-stricken hearts and to the whole world.

“Do you really think friendships can last more than one lifetime?”

“Do you really think friendships can last more than one lifetime?” Toph asks before the four members of the group hold hands. Since Toph previously mourned her friendless childhood, it’s easy to appreciate this line for its hopefulness regarding the four central members of the Gaang. They long to appreciate that they’re all connected. As touching as this is, the soul-mated ‘friendship’ concept is actually uniquely applicable to Aang and Zuko.

When does Toph ask the question specifically? It’s after hearing the story of Avatar Roku and Firelord Sozin: how their once intimate friendship fell apart; how Fire Lord Sozin began, undaunted, the genocidal attack on Airbenders. After recounting the tale, Aang, the reincarnation of Avatar Roku, excitedly explains to the group the moral that every person is capable of great good and evil. While that moral could easily be ascribed to many people in the series, the connective tissue is stretched directly to Zuko in a parallel storyline. Reading a secret history composed by his grandfather Sozin, Zuko discovers that he is not only the grandson of the empirical firelord but of Avatar Roku, as well. We see how the rift between the Sozin and Roku echoed down across history to separate the airbending culture from the fire nation, and, on a more human level, to separate Aang from Zuko. The two boys find themselves divided by their ancestors’ choices— and connected by Avatar Roku’s legacy. 

This is what takes their “friendship” from simply a matter of the character’s preferences to something fated, something unique from the other friendships. The rest of the found family is positioned as circumstantial in their relationship to Aang and one another. Yeah, it’d be cool if they were all connected in past and future lives, but the audience receives no indicators in the series that it’s necessarily true. Only faith holds them together, which allows room for an appreciation that your “found family” friendships might simply be the trusted people you discovered along the way. 

Zuko’s friendship is characterized differently. Both his struggle to befriend Aang and his eventual “friendship” are explicitly destined by the story of Roku and Sozin. After this episode, the series depends upon Zuko’s ability to mend the divide inside himself, which can only be done by mending the divide between him and Aang. Their inheritance symbolizes this dynamic exactly. As the reincarnation of Avatar Roku, Aang can be understood as the beneficiary of Avatar Roku’s wisdom (he should not, as many jokingly suggest, be considered as any kind of biological relation of Roku or Zuko).  Zuko, on the other hand, has inherited Roku’s genealogy in the Fire Nation. These two pieces of Roku must be brought together in order to revive Roku’s legacy of firebending founded on something besides aggression. 

In addition to making the ideals of Roku whole again, the two boys must tend to the broken “friendship” between the two men. As the Avatar and the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation, Aang and Zuko parallel Avatar Roku and Firelord Sozin precisely. The narrative of the latter pair places destiny precisely in the hands of the former. And since both Aang and Roku expressed the desire for “friendship,” it falls in the lap of the corresponding royal to give up their imperial dreams so they can gain something more peaceful and intimate. For Zuko, this now can only be accomplished when he heals the rift within himself. 

Importantly, both the previous friendship and the destined friendship between Zuko and Aang are between two men. The coming-of-age genre has proliferated the trope of homosociality (friendship between individuals of the same sex) and its eventual decline brought on by maturity and heterosexual romance. (Check out the beautiful and quick rundown of classic examples, from Anne of Green Gables to Dead Poet’s Society, made by @greetingsprophet ). The story of Avatar Roku and Firelord Sozin replicates this established narrative. 

We see them playing, sparring, and joking intimately with one another. The two as young adults were intimately connected, the series explains, “sharing many things including a birthday.” Eventually their intimacy is interrupted by their worldly responsibilities and the spectre of heterosexual romance on Roku’s part.

Now, It’s not a huge leap for one to wonder if Sozin longed for something stronger in their “friendship.” We see no female romantic interests for Sozin. Instead, he continues to demonstrate his platonic allegiance to Roku. When Roku prepares to leave for his Avatar training, Sozin walks into his room and gives him his crown prince headpiece, a gesture of unique devotion that positions his friendship above his politics (which harkens to Plato and EM Forster’s ideas about platonic love that I’ll discuss in Part 3). 

One might note, too, how the wedding between Roku and his childhood sweetheart provides the setting for the escalation of Sozin’s violence. “On wedding days,” Sozin writes, “we look to the future with optimism and joy. I had my own vision for a brighter future...” He then pulls Roku away from his bride for a personal conversation, briefly recapturing the earlier homosocial dynamic with his friend. Sozin describes his affection for their intertwined lives. Then he links their shared happiness to the current prosperity of the Fire Nation. He imagines the expansion of the Fire Nation, which would also expand on the relationship between him and Roku. But the Avatar refuses the offer and returns to his wife, insisting on the value of traditional boundaries (both the pact of marriage and the strict division of the four nations). The abandonment of the homosocial relationship by Roku sets the site for the unmitigated empirical ambitions of Sozin. One wonders how history might’ve been altered had the two men’s relationship been sanctified and upheld. How might’ve Roku persuaded Sozin in his empirical ambitions if he had remained in a closer relationship to his friend? In their final encounter, Sozin reacts vengefully to his former platonic love: he lets Roku die protecting the home the Avatar shared with his wife. Sozin’s choice solidifies the divide between them, and makes the grief he’s experienced since Roku left him into actual death.

Instead of Avatar Roku and Firelord Sozin finding a resolution, Aang and Zuko are ordained to reverse their friendship’s disintegration. Yes, they must heal the rift in the world created by the Fire Nation’s aggression, but Aang and Zuko must also reverse the tradition of lost homosociality within a culture of unrelenting machismo. Despite Avatar: the Last Airbender’s ties to the coming-of-age genre, the arc of Aang and Zuko’s “friendship” counters one of its most prominent tropes. “Some friendships are so strong they can transcend lifetimes,” Roku says, and it’s precisely this platonic ideal that draws Zuko and Aang towards one another in ways that are revolutionary both in their world and in the traditions of our’s. To come together, as two matured boys, to form an adult platonic love that can persist into adulthood.

“And now we’re friends.”

Which brings us to the consummation of Aang and Zuko’s “friendship.” Having resolved their previous hostilities and having neutralized the outside forces that would rather them dead than together, Aang and Zuko can finally embrace and define their relationship as “friendship.” Now, if we look closely at Zuko’s expression, we’ll notice a pause, before he smiles and reiterates Aang’s comment. My initial response, with my zukaang shipping goggles on extra tightly, was that Zuko just got friend-zoned and was a little disappointed before accepting Aang’s friendship. When I took a step back, I considered that we are given this moment of reflection to recognize Zuko’s journey, his initial belligerent response to the idea of befriending the Avatar. When he accepts the term of ‘friend,’ he reveals the growth he’s undergone that’s brought peace to the world. With these two possibilities laid out, I want to offer that they might coexist. That the word ‘friend’ might feel to Zuko and the audience so small and limited and yet simultaneously powerful. The pause can hint at the importance of “friendship” and signal something more. This reading emboldens the queer concept of “friendship” that undergirds their relationship. That the hug that follows might be meant to define the depth of the platonic love that is at the very heart of the series.

Saving a hugging declaration of “friendship” for the announcement of peace in the series is quietly revolutionary. In the twentieth century, male characters could connect in battle, on competitive teams, and through crime. “In the war film, a soldier can hold his buddy — as long as his buddy is dying on the battlefield. In the western, Butch Cassidy can wash the Sundance Kid’s naked flesh — as long as it is wounded. In the boxing film, a trainer can rub the well-developed torso and sinewy back of his protege — as long as it is bruised. In the crime film, a mob lieutenant can embrace his boss like a lover — as long as he is riddled with bullets,” writes Kent Brintnall. Aang and Zuko’s hug starkly contrasts this kind of masculine intimacy. The show suggests that environments shaped by dominance, conflict, coercion, or harm, though seemingly productive in drawing people and especially men together, actually desecrate “friendships.” Only in a climate of humility, diplomacy, and peace can one make a true ‘friend.’

In situating the’ “friendship” between two matured males in a time of peace, the writers hearken back to older concepts of homosocial relationships in our fiction. As Hanya Yanagihara has described the Romantic concepts of friendship that pervaded fiction before the 1900s. In her book, A Little Life, Yanagihara renews this concept for the twenty-first century with a special appreciation for the queerness that one must accept in order for platonic love to thrive into adulthood. She writes, “Why wasn’t friendship as good as a relationship? Why wasn’t it even better? It was two people who remained together day after day bound not by sex or physical attraction or money or children or property, but only by the shared agreement to keep going, the mutual dedication to a union that could never be codified.” Aang and Zuko’s relationship, despite a history that would keep them apart, reclaims this kind of friendship. Their hearts, bound together by an empyrean platonic love, are protected from the political and familial loyalties that would otherwise embroil them. 

In addition to Yanagihara, another author that coats the word ‘friend’ with similar gravity and longing to Avatar is E.M. Forster, who braids platonic friendship in his writing with homoeroticism and political revolution. In Forster’s novel Maurice (originally written in 1914 but published posthumously in 1971 due to Britain’s criminalization of male homsexuality), the titular character asks a lower class male lover lying in bed with him,  “Did you ever dream you had a friend, Alec? Someone to last your whole life and you his? I suppose such a thing can’t happen outside of sleep.” The confession, tinged with grief and providence as it is, could easily reside in Aang’s first monologue to Zuko in “The Blue Spirit.”

 Platonic love as a topic is at the heart of Maurice. Plato’s “Symposium,” from which the term platonic love derives, is even directly referenced in the book and connected with “the unspeakable vice of the Greeks”— slang for homosexual acts. For Forster, the sanction of platonic love, both the homosocial aspect and the latent homosexuality, reveals a culture’s liberation. “If I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend,” Forster wrote in his essay “What I Believe,”, “I hope I should have the guts to betray my country.” This echoes a sentiment of philial love described by Plato. 

Rather than revolutionary ideals, for Forster friendships, and specifically friendships that disregard homophobia, provide the foundation for peace, equality, and democratic proliferation. When Aang and Zuko embrace, they are embodying this ideal.  Platonic love and the word “friend” have a history intertwined with queer romantic love, and, while I won’t argue that Avatar attempts to directly evoke this, I will suggest that the series consciously leaves room for this association. Now, the show certainly makes no attempt to imply anything romantic between Zuko and Aang within the timeline we witness (nor any same sex characters, which reflects cultural expectations in the 2000s). And for good reason, the age gap would be notably icky, to use the technical term. (You might note, however, that the show actually allows for crushes to extend upwardly across the same age gap, when Toph accidentally reveals her affection for Sokka to Suki in “The Serpent’s Pass.”) Despite connecting queer friendships to the history of ‘platonic love,’ Avatar provides two critiques to platonic love for audiences to absorb. One is the pederasty with which Plato defined his ultimate form of love in his Symposium. Fans rightfully comment on the age gap between Aang and Zuko as something preventative to shipping them together. And beyond the fact of their ages, Aang’s youthfulness is emphatic, as I remarked earlier. Aang and Zuko are prevented from consummating their platonic love until both are deemed mature in the last moments of the series. And even then, their relationship is directed toward future development rather than conclusion. Instead of cutting away, they are allowed to exit their scene together toward a speech about hope and peace. This stands in stark opposition to the permanence of Aang and Katara’s kiss. The platonic love in Avatar, the kind EM Forster cherishes, is relegated to adulthood as opposed to other kinds of boyish friendships. The conclusion of Avatar, at least for me, actually feels especially satisfying because it settles our characters in the “new era of love and peace.” It is a beginning, and it feels more expansive than the actions the characters choose to take in the episode. Even as our characters conclude three seasons of narrative tension as the sun sets and “The End” appears on the screen, it feels instead as if their stories can finally begin. The characters are allowed to simply exist for the first time. Yes, Aang and Katara or Zuko and Mai are allowed to embrace and kiss, but it’s because the pressures of empiricism have finally been banished. They are now allowed to try things and fail and make mistakes and explore. Things don’t feel rigid or permanent, whether that be one’s identity or one’s relationships.

Ideally, within the morality of the series (at least as it appears to us with no regard for whatever limits or self-censorship occurred due to its era of production and child-friendly requirements), “friends'' are maintained alongside romantic partnerships. Both Zuko and Aang’s separate romantic relationships blossom within the same episode that they declare their “friendship.” In fact, a vital plotline is the development of Zuko’s relationship with Aang’s romantic interest. While anyone in the fandom is well aware of the popular interpretation of romantic affection between Zuko and Katara because of their shared narrative, I have to point out that romantic feelings across the series are made extremely explicit through statements, blushes, and kisses. Zuko’s relationship with Katara can be better understood in the light of the coming-of-age counternarrative. While the love interest often serves as a catalyst for separation for a homosocial relationship, the friendly relationship with Aang’s love interest—seeking her forgiveness, respecting her power, calling on her support, etc—is vital for Zuko to ultimately create an environment of peace in which he and Aang can fulfill their destined “friendship.” In fact, we can look at Katara’s femininity as the most important device for manifesting Aang and Zuko’s eventual union. It’s her rage against misogyny that frees Aang from his iceberg, midwifing him into the world again after his arrested development, the complete opposite of a Wendy figure. It’s her arms that hold Aang in the pieta after his death in the Crossroads of Destiny, positioning her as a divine God-bearer. Afterwards, its her hands that resurrect Aang so that they together can fulfill his destiny. It will be these same hands with this same holy water that resurrect Zuko in the finale. Only through Katara’s decided blessing could Aang and Zuko proceed toward the fated reunion of their souls.

The importance of this critical relationship to femininity becomes relevant to a scene in “Emerald Island Players” that one might note as an outstanding moment of gay panic. Zuko and Aang, watching their counterparts on stage, cringe and shrink when, upon being saved by The Blue Spirit character in the play, Aang’s performer declares “My hero!” Instead of the assumption of homophobia, I wonder whether we might read Aang and Zuko’s responses as discomfort with the misogynistic heterosexual dynamics the declaration represents. Across the board, Avatar subverted the damsel in distress trope. There’s a-whole-nother essay to be written on all the ways it goes about this work, but the events in “The Blue Spirit” certainly speak to this subversion. It’s quite explicit that Zuko, after breaking Aang’s chains, is equally dependent on Aang for their escape. And, by the end of the actual episode, the savior role is reversed as Aang drags an unconscious Zuko away from certain death. To depict these events within the simplistic “damsel in distress” scenario, as The Ember Island Players do, positions Aang as a subordinately feminized colonial subject, denies him his agency, and depicts the relationship as something merely romantic, devoid of the equalizing platonic force that actually empowers them. The moment in the play is uncomfortable for Aang and Zuko because it makes Zuko the hero and Aang the helpless object. Aang is explicit about his embarrassment over his feminized and infantilized depiction in the play. And Zuko, newly reformed, is embarrassed to see, on one hand, his villainy throughout the play and, on the other hand, see how his character is positioned as made out as a savior to the person who has actually saved him.

At the heart of the series is not the idea of a chosen one or savior. Instead, we are saved by the ability for one person to see themselves in another person and to feel that same person equally understands their own soul. This is the ideal of platonic love. Platonic love between two matured boys—two boys with whose memories and bodies bare the scars of their queer sensitivities—is an essential part of the future of peace. Many fans have a sense of this, labeling the relationship as “brotp” and “platonic soulmates.” I simply encourage people to acknowledge that platonic love, especially in this context, is not a limit. There is no “no homo” joke here. When we remark on the platonic love between Zuko and Aang (and across media more generally) we are precisely making room for friendship, romance, and whatever else it could mean, whatever else it might become. While I find Legend of Korra lacking and in some ways detrimental to appreciating the original series, it’s finale interestingly parallels and extends this reading of platonic love in a sapphic vein. And most recently, She ra Princess of Power was able to even more explicitly realize these dynamics in the relationship between Adora and Catra. Let’s simply acknowledge that Aang and Zuko’s relationship blazed the trail: that peace, happiness, hope, and freedom could all hinge on a “friendship,” because a “friend” was never supposed to be set apart from or less than other kinds of relationships. For the ways it disregards gender, disregards individualism, disregards dominion, platonic love is the foundation of any meaningful relationship. And a meaningful relationship is the foundation for a more peaceful world.  *Author’s note: I’m just tired of sitting on this and trying to edit it. It’s not perfect. I don’t touch on all the symbolism and nuances in the show and in the character’s relationships. And this is not meant to negate any ships. It’s actually, quite the opposite. This is a show about growth and change and mistakes and complexity. Hopefully you can at least appreciate this angle even if you don’t vibe with every piece of analysis here. I just have no chill and need to put this out there so I can let my obsession cool down a bit. Enjoy <3

[hitsuackerman]

Unpredictable (Overhaul x Reader) pt.21

a/n: things will get better~ <3

warnings: this cannot be read solo

Links: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12, part 13, part 14, part 15, part 16, part 17, part 18, part 19, part 20, part 22

Masterlist to my other fics: here :)

Overhaul’s waiting list: @jjk-biased @infinite-universe-love @dirtypride @blackymomo03 @azzie @purple-rabanito​ @meximorrita @awesomeee19​​ @celestial-kanzakii​ @laure-lo​ @team-wang-puppy​ @aydience-world​ @choros-main-hoe​ @colorseeingchick​  @but-kairis-not-that-smart (i cant seem to tag again :( hope this lands in your timelines!)

The silence of the hall was cut by the vibration of your phone. Taking it out, you answered.

“Yes, Nao?”

“The cameras showed the Fukuo Kai members left the building. Save for two people. Overhaul not included.” Inside the tent, Tsukauchi focused on the monitors. Observing and watching as live and recorded footage were being played to make sure the remaining two were to be caught. “I’m assuming you're on the 4th floor. Be careful. Cameras aren’t picking up feed.”

“I know. You said there were two?” Staring at the fresh blood dripping onto the floor, you took a step back when the thick red liquid began to run down the wall. Recalling that sound earlier, the other person was surely on this floor. Somewhere.

“That’s right. It’s your call from here.”

“Any info on their quirks?”

“We’re still digging it up. Apparently, those two men weren’t part of the meeting. If my deductions are right, they were the ones who terrorized our plan.”

Feeling a bit lightheaded, you inhaled and let out a long exhale. The man wasn’t lying entirely when he said it had nothing to do with the Fukuo Kai. Now that you were sure he was not on the same floor, you cursed under your breath.

“Nao. There’s only one person left. Overhaul used his quirk on one of them.” Heading back towards the fire exit, you wiped off the beads of sweat forming on your forehead. Feeling chills run down your spine, the grip on your phone tightened as your hands began to feel tingly. “My adrenaline is going down. We’ll catch the other one… next time.”

“Bring yourself back to safety. We’ll debrief once you're here.”

“See you in a few.”

Ending the call, you shook your head and made your way back to the fire exit. With each step you took, your eyelids seemed to become heavier. Leaning on the wall for support, you saw how your vision was starting to blur. Shutting your eyes close, you reached out for your phone only to stumble to the ground. With a steady growing headache, you activated your quirk.

Giving yourself a self-administered adrenaline pump, your felt control over your body once more. Standing up with effort, your shoulder remained glued to the wall as you took slow and steady steps towards the exit. Taking your phone out, you dialed for Tsukauchi only to flinch as another gunshot echoed through the room. The way your phone just sprung out of your hand and landed with a crack made a small yelp escape your mouth.

Taking your handgun out as you turned around, you were face to face with a man in a suit. Realizing that your phone was long gone by now, reaching base through your earpiece would not be the best option.Squinting your eyes, your blurry vision was not helping one bit. Hopefully, the sudden end to your call would alert your partner.

“Who are you?” Buying time was all you could do for now.

“No one important.” He took a step forward. His face void of any emotion save for the complete focus he has. “The question is, what are cops like you doing? Teaming up with the yakuza? Have you all stooped that low?”

“Says the man who’s ready to pull the trigger. Is it Overhaul you're looking for?” Each second that passed, your headache was evolving into a migraine. Breathing alone was becoming strenuous.

“On the contrary, yes.” He takes another step forward. “He’s been rather difficult to deal with these days.”

“You… You’re not from the F-fukuo Kai.” This was not good, you thought to yourself.

“Don’t strain yourself, love.” Seeing how your eyes widened and body trembled. He let a smirk cross his mouth. With much confidence he closed the gap between your bodies. With one hand, he unzipped your bulletproof vest. “You might be wondering why you can’t move?”

“No shit.” Watching him create invisible circles over your stomach made your heart beat even more rapidly. Thinking that his quirk had something to do with how your body’s motor skills were useless, you hoped that back up was now on it’s way. “This is your quirk, isn’t it?”

“Right you are. I can control a certain portion of a person’s gravity. It also works with force as well. But it’s much more fun.” Slapping your face, you barely felt a thing till you saw how his irises changed colors. The amount of force you received hurt double than it should have. Before your hands could touch him, his irises shifted color once more. “Not fast enough. But that was fun.”

“Why are you after Overhaul? Isn’t that suicide?”

“That man refuses to partner with us. We were more than willing to sponsor but for some shitty reason he turned us down.” He rolled his eyes and took a step back. “Wanna see something fun?”

You flinched at the sound of his gun. Yet the bullet lay suspended in mid air. Knowing where this was going, you tried to gather each ounce of your strength to break through the man’s quirk. With your body trembling from the failed attempt, you cursed under your breath and focused on your own quirk. If his quirk centered on gravity, then maybe yours could regulate your blood flow to show any kind of result.

“Struggling won’t get you anywhere.” He blinked and his irises changed colors.

Regaining control of your body did not save you. Feeling an intense heat pooling on your lower obliques, the burning sensation was enough to let you fall to the ground. Immediately covering the wound, you focused your quirk on that area to stop the bleeding. The pain made you curl into a small ball, your body trembling as your mind remained focused on the bullet’s entry way.

“Guess backup isn’t coming~” Taking his time, he grinned at the sight of slowly forming a puddle of red liquid. “Sucks to be helpless? Hoho~ I see your quirk is preventing blood loss.”

Bending down to squat, he grabbed your hand and flipped you over. Trying to release yourself from his grip, he placed a foot on your right hand and kept a hold of your left. Placing his free hand on your wound, he let out a chuckle. The pain had subsided but you were too aware of what would happen next.

“And here I thought police officers were a force to be reck-”

Before he could finish his sentence, you watched as he went flying all the way to the other end of the room. Simultaneously, the blood he had stopped came oozing out like a small water fountain. Seconds after, you harshly bit on your lip as the pain came back two fold. Putting pressure on the badly bleeding wound, you activated your quirk.

“This.” Despite the ringing in your ears, you knew who owned that voice. “This is why we refused to work with your lot, Ayato. Always causing unnecessary burdens.”

“Well if it isn’t the man I wanted to see.” Ayato stood up, barely keeping his balance. The way he landed was rather painful on his side. “Thought you left already, Overhaul?”

“I did.” He scratched his forehead. Glancing at your bleeding body did not help the situation.

Taking slow steps forward, Ayato focused his sight on the mask wearing man. Blinking a couple of times he felt his blood start to boil. Patting his body, he felt the small bullet on his side. The same red bullet he was supposed to be funding. Meeting Overhaul’s eyes once more, he felt a chill climbing up his spine and enveloping his mind.

“The bullets are nearing its completion..” Overhaul said as he removed his other glove. Moving forward, Ayato couldn’t help but take a step back. The growing anger in Overhaul’s eyes was enough to shrink whatever confidence he had in him. “What’s wrong, Ayato? Not so brave without your quirk?” Patting around his body for his gun, he let out a silent curse when he saw it resting beside Overhaul’s foot. Reaching for a small knife, he assumed a battle stance only to be met with a faint chuckle and a shake of the head. Gritting his teeth, Ayato began to sprint towards the supposed villain. Only to fall to the ground with a thud as a surge of electricity coursed through his body.

“Sorry.” Tsukauchi’s body appeared from behind the fallen man. “Got held up at the entrance.”

“Useless.” Overhaul commented as he watched the unconscious body. Turning around, he went closer to your body. Observing how shallow your breathing was, he caught himself clenching his fists. Caught up in the fight, he had forgotten the main reason why he rushed back to the building.

Before he could do anything, a hand touched his shoulder and shoved him. Stumbling three steps to the side, the same officer who was not fond of him was now administering first aid. Seeing him lift your badly bleeding body made him feel uneasy.

“This is your fault.” The officer's eyes focused on the standing man. “If you weren’t involved in this mess, (l/n) wouldn’t have been injured this bad.”

“For your information, she was already injured when I arrived.” It took a lot of strength not to harm the person in front of him. “Tell me, officer, do you think it would have been a smart move to just barge in?”

“You and your quirk are more than capable of doing something on the spot.” He stood up. A few drops of your blood dripping down his fingertips. “Lend a helping hand? An officer gets injured, and one of the terrorist is gone because of your hot head. That’s why I despise working with your lot. Nothing but  bad news.”

“Captain Iwase.” Tsukauchi butted in. He had just finished cuffing Ayato and handed him over to another officer. “Enough. Let me tend to (y/n) injuries. Your babbling mouth is causing her to bleed out.”

“Look at her.” His index finger pointing at your heavily breathing form. “Do you really think first aid is gonna help? For a bullet wound, that amount is abnormal. If anything, a blood transfusion is what she needs now but I doubt the ambulance would get here in time.”

“Then why don’t you stop complaining and dial 119?”

“Tsukauchi. Are you serious?”

“You may be higher in terms of ranking, but she’s my partner and she will always come first.” Reaching for his personal phone, Tsukauchi tossed it to Iwase. “Now unless you want to keep Overhaul’s hand away from your neck, I suggest you dial emergency hotlines. Now.”

Defeated, Iwase marched off the floor. Making sure to bump shoulders with the tall detective.

“He means well.” Tsukauchi still vouched for the captain as he checked your weak pulse. Carefully lifting your body, he made you lean on the wall. Iwase, despite the rambling, was right. He wasn’t sure what happened but the puddle of thick red liquid was alarming. “What happened?”

“The man you just electrocuted used his quirk on (l/n). He can control gravity to a certain degree. By the time I arrived, your partner was already bleeding and glued to the ground. His hand was covering the entry way so I assume her blood came gushing out like an oil pipe when I attacked him.”

As he relayed the information, Tsukauchi was already wrapping a bandage around your waist. For a moment, his eyes met your dull ones. Looking back at the red patch, he swallowed a bit of his saliva.

“Move over, Tsukauchi.” Overhaul looked down on both your crouching bodies. His eye twitching at the sight of your blood stained bandage. Not wanting to go on his bad side, Tsukauchi stood up and excused himself. Despite Overhaul being the labelled sociopath, he had gained enough respect for him to be trusted. “Can you talk?”

“I’m in a lot… of pain… but I’m fine, Overhaul.” You reassured him. Voice breathy and shaky. “It’s not that bad and I’m already doing my part by regulat-”

“Shut up.” He cut you off and forced your hand away from the wound. Taking a look at his hand, he let out a muffled curse. He was breaking out but the priority of fixing your wound won. Seeing Ayato’s knife, he reached for it and sliced the bandage. The bleeding was still bad and he knew full well that your quirk was no longer doing its function. “As much as I hate to admit it, that asshole officer was right. You need blood transfusion. I can close the wound but i’ll have to overhaul the bullet.”

“I think dying would hurt less.” You managed to chuckle.

“Just shut your mouth and let me overhaul the damn bullet.” Without a warning, his index finger entered the small hole. His eyes darted back to your screaming voice. He had to do this quickly to make sure any more blood loss would stop. Sighing, he leaned in closer. Just enough for you to lay your head on the crook of his neck. Your badly trembling body was not helping the situation.

Luckily, it barely took another push for his fingertip to reach the cold shell. Overhauling it in barely a second, this time he warned you about his exit. Receiving a nod, he felt your shoulders tense. Once his bloody finger was out, his clean hand held on to your wound before closing it completely.

“You’re in for an amount of pain.” At least the wound was closed now. The small whimper that escaped your mouth was the telltale sign that you were near exhaustion. Yet somehow, you managed to grip on to his jacket. “Your wound may be healed bu-”

“I-I’m sorry.”

“Be specific.”

“For m-mentioning Ackerm...Ackerman.” With your last ounce of strength, you wrapped your shaky arms around his neck. To which he did not refuse. “You’re b-breaking out.”

“I know. Guess you really aren’t as pure as I thought you were.” He stared at his hives and back at you. Slowly sliding in and out of consciousness. “Such a shame. Then again, each and every person is tainted in their own way.”

“I… I’m sorry about… last time.”

“You should be.” Wrapping his arm under the crook of your knees, he lifted you up. He adjusted his hold to make sure you were comfortable. By now, you had lost consciousness. Failing to hear what he had left to say. “Don’t ever mention Ackerman again. You’re mine and mine alone my guilty pleasure.”

- - - - -

a/n: and the fluff begins :D hope the tension was alright in this scene... took a while to write this tbh xD see yall next week <3 yes Overhaul is still accepting in his waiting list too :)

[darkpoisonouslove]

“Left to Heritage”

Summary: A fight between her fairies and Griffin’s witches leaves Faragonda looking at the past in a desperate attempt to prevent losing someone else she cares about like the friends the war took from her. All she finds is pain, yet she can’t let go of the relationships burning her fingers with the impossible choices everyone bound by them has to make. Set after 1x05. Canon divergence.

I have been incredibly salty about the way the whole theft of the Ring of Solaria was handled on the show so you get this canon divergence in which Winx actually do the smart thing and tell Faragonda what the hell happened. How things play out from there is not necessarily better but definitely more emotional for Faragonda. Aka here is also something about the fallout between her and Griffin that was never explained on the show.

“If the ring isn’t returned, the Solarian court will issue an official demand to Cloud Tower for its retrieval.”

Bloom’s eyes had caught fire despite their aquatic shade. They’d burned like an ocean turned from water into flames and her tone had carried the assertiveness of a queen that Faragonda had only heard once before despite the numerous royal heirs Alfea had provided education to ever since she herself had been a student. So many born rulers and none had had the bearings of such natural authority, almost innate, as the Earth girl that had stumbled upon her powers by accident.

Faragonda had almost slipped into the past through the hole Bloom’s fiery stare had burned into her soul. She had to do it regardless of the searing pain of touching the edges she’d cut into herself to stop the spreading rot. She had to do it to look for more similarities, some tangible proof that she wasn’t grasping at straws to hang her hope by. It could be the universe answering her prayers with abysmal delay. Or it could be an illusion she’d trapped herself into when nothing could compare to the cruelty of the real world.

The surface of the oval mirror in her office rippled like she’d cast a stone in the stream of time and found the memory her five students shared now along with the trauma and crushing responsibility chasing royalty out there in the real world where Alfea’s walls were but a blissful fantasy of deceptive safety. The school had hardly protected its students back when she’d been one of them and things would only get more dire if she were right about the witches Cloud Tower was raising in the heart of its spiky structure that welcomed intruders to leave while they still could. It was not an empty threat.

The gloom hanging over her girls like an aura in the image in the mirror was yet more frighteningly precise proof of the truth she already knew. Stella was lying in her bed as if she’d been taken down by a plague she couldn't fight with Flora fretting over her, Musa tapping on her knees as she sat cross-legged on the floor like she was trying to hold a rhythm slipping away from her and Tecna sifting through a boatload of digital information less daunting than the emotional waves reality was rocked by.

Bloom was leaning over Stella like a guard, her fists clenched so hard that her knuckles had turned white as if the fire in her veins was trying to burn its way out of her body and eliminate the threat she’d had to succumb to. Faragonda had seen that instinctive determination right before another threat had been eliminated to take away with itself any remaining sparks of hope for the company left behind.

Flora straightened up like a flower reaching for the mercy of the light finally gracing it. “What if we tell Miss Faragonda?” she asked and just like that the grave silence was dispelled. And so was the self-absorbed focus that had swallowed Bloom to separate her from her friends. “She could help us get it back.”

“No!” Stella bolted up in bed as if to drop the reason that could save them from smashing their heads. “No one can know that I’ve lost the ring of Solaria,” her frantic voice was spilling out the worries of her heart in the trust in their friendship they’d forged with their lives and signed with their blood. “That I failed as a princess.” New tears welled in her eyes as if the soreness hadn’t bruised them with enough red already without the light of her magic to relieve the strain in them.

Faragonda would’ve wondered how the mirror did not crack from all the pain flowing from her to hit directly where her reflection would have been if the memory was not still playing like the room had witnessed it.

“You didn’t fail, Stel.” Bloom sat down on the bed, her hand on Stella’s shoulder as if to ground her concerns. Or to ground Bloom’s impulses in the warmth of her friend instead of that of the flames no doubt licking at her opened fists. “You were ready to defend it with your life.”

Faragonda had deduced that much even if they’d tried to steer her attention away from the specifics. Bloom had only relayed that Stella had been kidnapped to demonstrate the gravity of the situation but they’d tried to beat around the bush about any other details except for the fact that the witches had walked out of that confrontation with the ring of Solaria. And her girls had walked away with a Stella who was alive and intact, and eaten through by guilt she’d had ingrained in her along with her royal bearings and the responsibility for the ring on her finger to have its absence crush her more than its weight on her shoulders had.

“Bloom’s right,” the sound wave of Musa’s vehemence could have shattered the windows. Perhaps it had even carried the subconscious intention to rid her of the sounds stuck inside her – cries that were years old and other fresh ones from a few minutes ago. “You did everything you could. It was those witches that are guilty for everything,” she slammed her fists down on her knees to no other result than hitting herself as she kept her tantrum away from her magic.

“It was their third attempt at the ring that we know of,” Bloom’s words had everyone else nodding in support of her reassurance but it only had Faragonda pressing her palm against her mouth to keep it all in. Even if she couldn't stop herself from asking herself why she didn’t know what dangers were lurking for her girls out there. “They’ve been targeting you since Gardenia.” That much would have been a safe guess even for her despite the limited amount of information she’d had but she hadn’t wanted to make it before Bloom had confirmed it for her. It said too much about the determined claim both her fairies and Griffin’s witches had over the royal heirloom.

“It’s a powerful magical object,” Stella made the fact sound like the most biased opinion Faragonda had ever heard. Or maybe it was just the purpose of her words that made it so. “They’re not the first ones to want it. But they are the first ones to get it.” It wasn’t just her who was biased anymore, Faragonda’s own convictions rising from the ashes in her lungs almost like a phoenix with the only exception that they’d never died. “And it happened on my watch,” Stella cried out. “I’m the only Solarian royal that failed to protect it.” She buried her face in her hands, the lack of the ring on her finger startling not with her incompetence but with the competence of those who currently had it.

The low spirits of her girls were left in place of how much they’d put into the confrontation to be that drained from both energy and faith and they’d still lost regardless. She may have been one to be blinded by endless optimism when younger but after being sucked into a war and spat out with its teeth marks all over you, you learned to take pure power into consideration. And her girls had had a lot of determination to draw from which left their defeat sending familiar chills down her spine at the thought of the enemy.

Tecna put away the gadget she’d been tinkering with and the discomfort of the emotionality they were all drowning in to lend the others the logic they desperately needed, making Faragonda give the image in the mirror a proud smile despite her mixed feelings on its existence forced by necessity. “Getting the ring back is a priority over anything else, even covertness. And Miss Faragonda is our best bet on that,” she rationalized, the words reverberating through the rest like they shared a mind on top of the heartfelt bond they’d formed so quickly. “We can insist on it being done discreetly,” Tecna continued, finding her sensitivity as well to fit into the collective flawlessly, the way they gravitated towards each other pulling even Faragonda closer by the strings in her own heart it had touched. “After all, I doubt Miss Griffin will be thrilled with the imprint this crime will leave on Cloud Tower if it becomes public knowledge. It’s in everyone’s interest to keep this quiet.”

Faragonda could only hope every mentioned party would be as reasonable as Tecna had accounted for. She’d had the same belief in her friendship once that Tecna was putting into logic but she couldn’t bet on it anymore with all the walls in the way. It had come to that for her when certainty had been pulled out of her reach along with the warm hand that had held it and all she could do was hang on to the prospect that if she was right, Bloom would be able to count on her friends more than she could on her heritage, that there would be no walls Bloom would be left outside of again.

“Tecna’s right,” Musa pushed herself off the floor as if with a sonic blast but resolve was the only magic that lent her the speed and coordination to rise to her feet in one swift, graceful motion worthy of the dancer that the fairy of music was. “We can’t just sit around now that we’re all back together,” her hands were balled into fists as if to hold on to the presence of her friends once she didn’t need them to support herself. “We have to act. Unless we want to find out what they want with the ring the hard way.”

Stella nodded, a small smile barely tugging the corners of her lips upwards to meet the tears still rolling down her face. The inevitable sniffle that followed was enough to shake her whole body and disintegrate both the smile and the confidence.

Flora was quick to grab a tissue from the nearby box and offer it to Stella as she sat down on the bed next to her. “It will be okay, sweetie. You’ll see,” she put her hands on Stella’s shoulders to have Bloom let go of her so that Flora could draw her into her soothing softness while Stella bunched up the tissue in her fist instead of using it.

“I hope you’re right, Flora,” Stella whispered, turning to her in an attempt to nestle her tear-stained face into the crook of Flora’s neck and hide her weakness into the warmth of the nature fairy even if it weren’t the light of her own magic. “I can’t disappoint my father after he entrusted me the ring.” A sob shook them both alike as Flora held her, only gripping tighter at her despite the crease carved into her forehead and the glassiness of her eyes as they tried to mirror Stella’s and shed their water that only Flora’s will to put her friend’s comfort before her own held back.

Bloom caught Stella’s hand that was hanging limply at her side instead of having wrapped itself around Flora in search of more support. There was no need for her fingers to prob for it, however, as Bloom laced hers through them gently but firmly – in perfect contrast with the flames burning in her gaze with no cautiousness to rein them in, only fierce protectiveness to feed them.

The heat was tangible both through space and time to explain why Stella had flinched at Bloom’s warning about making the issue official and taking it to the appropriate authorities. Not only that, it was also familiar.

Faragonda had been defended with the same vehement warmth to the point of almost becoming collateral of it but despite the burning coldness of the hole left behind once it’d been gone, she had no definitive proof of Bloom’s origins. The ferocious protectiveness she’d known had come from two people, one of which undoubtedly had nothing to do with the fire in Bloom’s veins or the flaming color of her hair. It was the determined commitment of true friendship she’d seen in the girl and nothing more. Not without solid proof that the ring could give. She had to get it before someone got the confirmation of her suspicions first. If she was right, she had more duty towards Bloom than just that of a headmistress and Bloom had more burden to shoulder than the weak grip of Stella’s hand on hers in the absence of the ring.

She cut off the magical flow turning the mirror into a pool of memories instead of the solid reflective surface that it was and focused her magic into overcoming space this time. It wasn’t the spell or the physical distance she had to conquer–she had regular practice with that as she was still a constant presence on the Red Fountain invitation list for any and all events–but the emotional chasm that had opened between her and Griffin. It was just a few years old and it was already as deep as their friendship had ran in their souls.

A gasp almost tore from her at the weightlessness overwhelming her senses when she knew it would be gone faster than it had appeared. And indeed, the negative energy of Cloud Tower clung to her aura long before her atoms assembled themselves together again to leave her standing in Griffin’s office.

It hadn’t changed one bit in the days she hadn’t seen it–that had to be over one thousand at this point and more–and carried the spirit of the same frighteningly elegant professionalism and academic pursuit as well as overwhelming flair for the dramatic and inclination towards honoring history’s scariest and most threatening moments. The pointy edges and horned skulls were only the props for the powerful dark spells stored in the tomes lining the shelves that almost drew her eye to them in search of something that didn’t belong there. That would have swallowed her attention if not for the witch whose presence commanded every bit of the space – from the interior to the magic flowing in the walls through the veins of Cloud Tower.

Griffin hadn’t changed either, familiarity streaming from her almost deceptively. “Someone had better be dying,” she emphasized each word to compensate for the cold her gaze wasn’t piling on Faragonda as it remained on the book opened in front of her. Faragonda couldn't even tell if it was work or passion that she’d interrupted from the unnatural stillness clinging to the witch as she refused to move a muscle for her. “If not,” dramatic pause right on cue, “it will be your life on the line.” A ball of violet power formed in Griffin’s hand, the seriousness of the threat in no way undermined by the lack of attention to back it up.

“It’s really urgent,” Faragonda pushed the sounds through her teeth, almost choking on the shredded mass that came out as justification for her presence instead of the animated greeting that had once been the norm. She barely dared breathe in the room looming over her and threatening to bury her alive, her arms sticking to her sides to avoid alerting Griffin further. The witch had no desire to take her presence, much less the inconvenient news she’d deduced Faragonda was bearing.

“You should hope so.” The magic in her palm slowly faded, each change in the paling shade like a drop of water slipping from Faragonda to never come back and only assault her ears with the passing seconds. As if Griffin was giving her the time to adjust and begin on her squirming to fit the witch’s agenda. “Otherwise, you’ve wasted so much energy coming here for nothing,” Griffin looked up at last, slamming her book closed just as she locked eyes with Faragonda in a cheap intimidating technique that may have made her flinch back at their student days but those were long buried and it couldn't get even as far as the sound wave of it did.

There was an invisible force squeezing her heart like her ribs were made of foam and couldn't protect a diamond, not to mention something so fragile. It wouldn't be past Griffin to use one of the relatively harmless hexes–though, anything would be harmless compared to the forbidden magic Faragonda was on the lookout for–on which she’d just been refreshing her memory but she’d made it known after their fallout she wouldn't throw away her magic on revenge. The hexes could have been for an advanced class or for the personal vendettas on her list that Faragonda hadn’t been added to after Griffin had crossed off their friendship. She’d ended all contact between them, running school-related business through Saladin as if she’d erased from her mind any trace of the private language only the two of them spoke.

No curse could top that. A curse would require her to put some feelings in the casting, at the very least, to take an interest in the fact that Faragonda still existed so that she could make her life hell. Instead, she was letting her poison all her days on her own like she’d never seen her wings in the mirror and every attempt to be the witch she’d never believed she could be was blowing up in her face. If only she could blame everything that stood between them on the inherent divide between fairies and witches.

Faragonda squared her shoulders looking at Griffin through the emptiness between them. Their personal drama had waited so long it could take a backseat to the responsibility she had towards her girls. “My students have reported to me that your witches–Icy, Darcy and Stormy–threatened the life of Stella, the princess of Solaria, to steal her ring from her.” She didn’t pause before forcing the names off her tongue when she knew the last time they’d cracked against Griffin’s ears it had cracked their friendship but she had to borrow some air from the witch’s domain to continue. Not too much, though, lest Griffin snatched the word away and never found the benevolence to give it back. “They want the ring to be returned or they’ll take it up to the Solarian court and you’ll be hearing from king Radius.”

Griffin rose from her chair, her aura casting a shadow over the whole room as a mantle of darkness fell over the golden of her eyes to suffocate it much the same way it gripped at Faragonda’s throat to throw her in a memory that should have died long before all the other death had plowed into them. “Are you threatening me?” her voice was quick to mirror the intent she’d read into the words to draw a clear line between them and leave them on opposing sides once more as if they hadn’t found home in each other after they’d lost it all.

“Griffin, please,” Faragonda raised her hands – an old habit that had gotten her beaten down multiple times during the war when it still left her words to use on the witch. It had been words that had gotten between them, and not the numerous spells they’d thrown each other’s way voluntarily and not at all. “This is not a threat.” A pulse of Griffin’s magic stung her eyes nearly to tears with the reminder of the witch’s distrustful heart. “I’m just trying to save us all the trouble that this whole situation will cause if it blows up.” Coming clean had to be easy when you didn’t have a hidden agenda–at least not a malicious one–but one wrong word would paint her a bigger villain than anyone Griffin had had to deal with in the past. The notion was preposterous after it had been her winx that’d kept Griffin huddled in the depths of Cloud Tower and turning herself into a vessel for dark spells.

“Of course, you are,” the tension rolled off Griffin’s frame like the taunt rolled off her tongue but she’d take it if it meant Griffin trusted her “insufferable goodness” as she’d once put it, all in good faith. There was no joke now, only open distaste that was still preferable to unrestrained hostility. “Always so considerate. Getting worked up over a trinket,” Griffin flaunted the mockery in her face in a challenge Faragonda wouldn't normally take but Griffin’s own reputation as headmistress could be on the line.

“This is a royal artifact, Griffin,” she forced her voice to stay level–an ounce of asperity would leave the space between them even more slippery than the frozen surface of a dead planet–despite Griffin’s attempts to get a raise out of her as she rolled her eyes in purposeful ignorance, pushing all the buttons she could still find without having to look. It was in her heart she’d stored the knowledge and Faragonda had the chance to reach in it if she’d just keep it open long enough. “You know this is serious.” A split second’s hesitation. Just enough to take a page out of Griffin’s book. “You know how much efforts Oritel threw into hiding the Book-”

“Fine,” Griffin’s tone cut her off like a knife she was aiming at her throat next.

She could hate her for digging up the ghosts haunting the shared home of their past only to spill into the present and link them together with the tears trembling on the surface of Griffin’s voice to mirror her own. As long as she didn’t let the effortless connection they’d had–still had between them if only Griffin would let it out of the dark basement she’d locked it in to rot away without light and oxygen–join them. Faragonda was already right there with her, the echo of her own words burning her tongue and down her throat even in the airless emptiness filling her after the memory of their lost friends had sucked everything else out of her.

“You’ll have the ring on your desk in the next few minutes,” Griffin crossed her arms, almost hugging herself as if to make sure Faragonda wouldn't give into the impulse to wrap her in her own embrace. As if she didn’t know it would only pull her closer with a might she could hardly resist while the cold was still in her veins spreading with every beat of her heart that she couldn't share with the royal pair of Domino. “If there isn’t anything else,” there was only everything else, lingering in the air around them and making it heavy to draw in as it fell towards the floor to escape the struggle of their lungs, “let yourself out. It’s too late for noisy visits.” Too late for her.

There went her chance to see the friend she hadn’t lost in the war only to push away. Common sense dictated she had to hope there wouldn't be another one like this, for the sake of the universe and not just the girl for whom affection was already flaming in her heart upon recognition. She couldn't let this moment slip through her fingers like the life she’d shared with the half of the Company now residing in unknown locations had. At least have some good come out of everything the three young witches had done.

"Griffin-”

The sigh Griffin released in an abrupt bout of frustration carried the rest of the thought away to leave the accompanying feelings clawing at her ribcage to get out. “Business related, Faragonda,” the witch stressed either word before gliding over her name with indifference. “This was not a slumber party invitation,” her irritation spiked again to pierce through Faragonda’s stomach and spill her guts out in a violent display that would have made the ancient evil Griffin had initially picked over her cackle with abandon at her misfortune.

"Business related...” They had too much business together for Griffin to just brush her off like she was the dust on a tome of spells the witch had stolen when she’d still been with them . “Your students have kidnapped one of mine and threatened to kill her to steal a royal artifact. That is grounds for expulsion.” It was enough to get them convicted if she could convince Stella to testify and let her friends do so as well but she’d promised she hadn’t come to threaten Griffin so she had to steer clear of her students as well. Griffin never did do well when cornered so the most she could afford was to implore her to listen to reason.

"No,” Griffin’s instant stubbornness echoed off the walls to crash down on her and beat her into the floor. A little more force and it would bury her right there under the roof of the powerful organism Cloud Tower was that Griffin had employed to protect the three witches when she’d let them into the school.

"Come on, Griffin!” she urged, her pleading almost pathetic to her own ears with how little it moved the witch, almost enough to convince her it was their affiliations exactly that were getting between them instead of their own hearts. “You should be able to see by now that they are following into the footsteps of their predecessors.” A shudder ran through her just at the thought of how far that road went. Right to the frozen surface of Domino. “You know what the ring can do.”

"It doesn’t matter,” Griffin’s eyes bore into hers, the seriousness of her dismissal drilling a hole into Faragonda’s mind to let out over her muscles the overflowing impulse to grab Griffin and shake her. They’d lost everything while putting all their efforts into preventing just that. They couldn't sit idly by and watch it happen again, only this time letting it unfold without interfering. “It’s not going to lead them to anything but ghosts.” Griffin’s look changed, accusation almost covering the agony underneath just like she was barely breathing through the losses Faragonda had forced on her once again after all attempts at burying them had been in vain.

Faragonda drew in a shaky breath before jumping off the ledge without the certainty of Griffin catching her. “I’m not sure about that.” She hesitated for a moment, her fingers curling at her sides for her short nails to dig into her palms when Griffin’s heart visibly jumped into her throat.

There was no going back as Griffin forced herself to swallow it along with all the questions bubbling from inside her to make her burst and Faragonda forced her magic to flow between her palms and form an orb of light that started shifting until it accommodated the image of Bloom with every little shape and vivid color. Griffin had to see it as it was so that she could tell her whether it was reality or illusion.

Griffin’s gaze was fixed on the image as the colors bled in until they reached their full vibrancy to have her eyes lighting up with another million questions exploding in them upon recognition. “Who’s that?” her voice came out as if in slow motion while she was trying to catch her mind from speeding away from her with conclusions.

"That’s Bloom,” Faragonda said only. For someone who wanted an objective opinion, she sure was twisting her words to steer them into the desired direction. Not that it mattered what she’d say when she could count on Griffin’s brutal honesty.

"Who is she? Where does she come from?” Griffin fired out at her as she rounded her desk to get a closer look, already having jumped on track with Faragonda’s suspicions.

"She’s from Earth.” Chasing down the words was much easier once Griffin was taking them from her eagerly. Faragonda could practically hear the logical deductions weaving themselves together in her mind and the emotions boiling in her heart like Griffin had allowed it instead of fiercely protecting her privacy after the last time Faragonda hadn’t liked what she’d read in her. It wasn’t about the fight between them now but about a promise they’d made together and had been forced to give up on if they’d wanted to keep hearing each other’s breaths. Maybe it could bring them back together if it was brought to life like the little baby in the center of it that they hadn’t gotten to hold in their arms.

"There have been no fairies on Earth for centuries,” Griffin’s eyes were on hers again, checking for a lie only to scorch her with their insistent shine once she didn’t find one. Almost like she was looking to see the explanation inside Faragonda’s mind as if they hadn’t reached the same theory despite the deafening cries of the past echoing around them without their permission.

"She’s sixteen, has fire powers and the spirit to match the physical resemblance,” Faragonda dared lay a little more of her soul out there along with the hope threading itself in it again. If Griffin was seeing it as well, then she wasn’t-

"And she dropped right on your doorstep?” The arch of Griffin’s brow was like a slap in the face as it was followed by a scornful smile. “It should have tipped you off instantly how easy this is. Your wishful thinking is blinding you. That relentless optimism never did lend you a clear grasp on things.” The mocking tone might have been scraping against the walls of her heart from inside to leave abrasions behind but the cold in Griffin’s eyes was so unbearable with the reflection of her own loss it was that she had to look away.

Her hands dropped at her sides, the image of Bloom long lost along with her focus that was now carried away by the merciless winds lashing over the once welcoming surface of the most beautiful planet in the magical dimension. “It made me stick with you,” she barely found the strength to whisper through the ice pushing at the inside of her eyes to smother every memory of fire and warmth she’d ever had. She’d known better back then and it’d brought Griffin back to her. Why couldn't the same happen with Bloom? Why couldn't the universe finally answer her passionate prayers and give them back at least a part of what they’d lost on the battlefield?

Griffin’s derisive chuckle shattered the hair-thin glass she’d been hiding behind in her run from reality. “Thick as thieves we are,” despite the spiteful resolve it was wrapped in, her voice was raw like it’d been flayed alive and left to bleed out by a careless cut of a knife and Griffin had always been one for perfection and precision. She couldn’t have been the one to cause this to herself no matter how careful Faragonda lied to herself she always was. “I’ll get you the ring but do me a favor and don’t drag me into your blind pursuit of will-o-wisps.” Griffin turned her back on her and walked back to her chair, every click of her heels against the floor crushing yet another part of Faragonda’s broken heart like it was snow.

"What if it’s her?” she pushed even though it was low to attack Griffin in back. She couldn’t lose her completely when she’d come in pursuit of finding – Bloom and the ring, and Griffin and their friendship.

"What if she’s an impostor?” Griffin countered, in no hurry to face her as she was confident she could lead that battle even blindly but Faragonda could do that. They’d always been counterparts, reflections of each other. Until she’d broken away with the storm in her eyes. “What if she’s working with the Trix?” Griffin’s logic had her blood run cold. It could never happen. The blood in their veins would never allow such alliance of hell. “They never would have gotten the ring if they’d had to face the intuitive protectiveness of the Dragon Fire,” Griffin forced the cursed words out of her mouth with less effort than Faragonda would need to get out of the trap that she’d walked right into when her eyes had seen whatever she’d wanted them to and her heart had operated according to the same logic. “She’s probably a fake they’ve infiltrated among your girls. How did she even get to Alfea?”

Griffin’s gaze was boring into her again in her impatience to dig out the answer herself if she could and bury Faragonda in its place, get it over with. It was starting to lick a little bit too much like flames at her tender skin, just like Griffin’s magic had been protecting her on par with the Dragon Fire, and had her mind tossing between the tangible past out of reach and the threatening future she was speeding towards.

Her students. She couldn't let them pay for a lapse in her judgment. She was no longer a reject transmagic graduate of Alfea who wasn’t even sure she had a best friend to lose. She was the headmistress and had some of the responsibilities her friends had died fulfilling. She had young girls to take care of and she couldn't shake the image of Bloom holding Stella’s hand to let her have at least a little of the safety Faragonda hadn’t secured for her. For either one of them. She had to celebrate if she was wrong about the fate resting on Bloom’s shoulders but that was exactly why she couldn't afford to ignore the possibility of being right, as insignificant as it was.

"Stella brought her,” she made herself return to the present stopping on the way to pick up the question Griffin had asked her. “She accidentally discovered her powers when she tried to help her against an ogre and some goblins.” A coincidence for those who believed in them. But after they’d all been pawns in a vicious game that had been going on for centuries, it would be foolish to think there was anything not driven by a reason... or a person.

"Oh, yes. The coincidence of the century,” Griffin deadpanned, reading her thoughts in a backwards fashion. They’d never been so out of sync before. “This is a blatant set up and you’re naively falling for it.” No wonder when Griffin didn’t want to give in even an inch still firmly grounded behind her desk and seeing to it that she didn’t move either. In fact, her look would be enough to glue Faragonda to the floor, no spell, no magic. “This kind of gullibility flew when we were students but after everything you’ve been through, you should know better. You’re awfully trusting for a war veteran and a headmistress with the responsibility for hundreds of lives.” Her teeth left marks in Faragonda’s heart even though it was her own lip Griffin almost bit into in her vehemence.

She could have it all, swallow it one piece at a time, if it meant they could be together in their signature complementary existence. Griffin was the spice to Faragonda’s sugar making it hard to eat too much to keep your teeth from rotting. She’d been the mindfulness to her optimism, the logic to her faith even back when they’d both been witches and their dynamic hadn’t failed them throughout the rest of the way, Griffin keeping them grounded while Faragonda had carried them, hopeful, into the future. “I’ll keep an eye on her-”

"And please, don’t inform me,” Griffin was fighting her on every step now, her words piercing Faragonda’s wings like they hadn’t even done back when both of them had still been getting used to the sight and feel of them. She’d accepted the change in her once with the whole history of the magical dimension standing between them and she’d done it again after the war had ripped out not just the warmth of their friends, but also the pieces of themselves touched by it. She’d held her cold body to get shaken by the same shivers only to back away from the possible return of the small flame they’d mourned like Faragonda was coming to burn her and everything she’d built out of the remains of her life for the crimes she’d committed before.

"You have to keep an eye on the Trix as well.” It wasn’t her that was threatening everything they’d suffered for, everything they’d built out of the ashes of their hope. And it wasn’t Bloom either. She couldn't take away the desperation choking them every time they tried to speak the names seared into their hearts but they could speak hers with the faith she’d need to survive the monstrous responsibility of her heritage. “You’re also responsible for hundreds of lives as headmistress.” It wasn’t just the two of them anymore and they had people to take care of besides themselves... or each other.

"At least I’ve taken the time to look at them before jumping to conclusions,” Griffin muttered through the unwillingness to bring to life the past she wouldn't have had without Faragonda’s interference as she’d stood up for her even with the pile of bodies under Griffin’s feet, even with the hole in Griffin’s heart that wasn’t hers to fill. “Expelling them will only push them further into any ambitions of greatness they have,” Griffin continued, giving voice to logic instead to hide behind like they didn’t tell each other everything. Like they wouldn't see the truth regardless of the words spoken. Like their souls were not one whole.

"That’s hardly possible,” Faragonda’s own voice rose in turn as it looked to reach her friend. “You’ve read their admission letters.” Rule them all.An agenda they’d heard before coupled with powers they’ve seen in action to barely survive them. What more did Griffin need to recognize the impending threat?

"Unfortunately, I also had the bad judgment not to keep them confidential,” Griffin squeezed at her heart as if to crush it even if her hands were gripping at her desk like she was trying to hold herself upright.

"You had concerns just like I did,” Faragonda would drag Griffin, kicking and screaming, back to the memory of standing together if she had to but she wouldn’t let them fall apart over three little witches that weren’t even the real deal, only offspring left behind like weeds. “You’re the one who’s set off on some misguided mission to save their souls.” She bit her tongue as her fists unclenched–the marks her short nails had left in her palms oozed blood–and her hands flew up to clamp over her mouth but it was too late.

"Your facade is crumbling, Miss Sunshine Positivity and Acceptance,” Griffin growled at her like a guard dog that had caught a trespasser red-handed.

"Griffin,” her tongue probed around with each letter curling in anticipation of the witch pouncing only to stiffen once the familiar name hung in the air waiting to drop like a bomb on them if she didn’t secure it to the words that would follow. Faragonda swallowed and licked her lips as she lowered her hands back at her sides lest she accidentally brushed the trigger. “It’s not your personal failure you couldn’t save them from the three monsters’ ways.” A chance. They’d agreed to give them a chance that the three witches had thrown away long before the attempted murder they’d almost covered and were still getting away with. Griffin had shrugged off their total lack of morality and humanity as witch-typical bullying even when they’d caused permanent damage to fairies and witches alike in her attempts to protect them but she had to open her eyes to the fact that there was no one to protect them from and everyone to protect from them. “It has never been.” They were the ones that hadn’t given Griffin the chance she’d wanted to help them by following their ancestors’ plan too closely to be unfamiliar with it.

Griffin’s shoulders slackened, leaving her tall frame sagging like she would fall back into her chair when Faragonda’s next breath breezed over her. “I was beyond saving as well when you stepped in but that didn’t stop you.” The insistent burn of Griffin’s eyes frantically touching every corner of her soul ran through her in higher voltage than Griffin’s refusal to look at her had been back when Faragonda had saved her life with the portal that had brought them on the same side. Griffin may have had a hard time finding a place in the home Faragonda had had waiting for her inside herself but now her fingers were frozen at her desk after their failure to even find the doorknob. “What’s different now?”

Everything.

Faragonda shook her head to throw the word away before it could fall from her mouth. They were still the same friends, the same parts of one whole... even when they were broken apart. That at least Griffin had already experienced for herself to believe it was possible. “You saved yourself, Griffin.” Had she failed to mirror Griffin’s own light back at her the same way she’d given her hers, too caught up in their duality of counterparts, their forbidden friendship of a witch and a fairy? “You’d made the right choice. It was what brought you to me.” She’d left a part of herself behind to find her way to Faragonda while her students were looking to take everything that didn’t belong to them and the ring slipping from one finger to another so easily was only the start. “And what brings me here now is a matter of interrealm security they’ve dragged us into.”

Griffin rolled her eyes as if to counter the words rolling off Faragonda’s tongue and keep them from reaching her. “I’ll fix that,” she strengthened her shoulders again to take the burden that wasn’t hers to bear along with the guilt for leaving anything of her soul with the Coven to corrupt but it hadn’t been her fault. Icy, Darcy and Stormy had never been touched by their predecessors–thanks to the sacrifice that had left Bloom and Stella their unsuspecting targets–yet they were still following the same agenda of their own volition, cut from the very same cloth as the witches they were descended from like everything else those monsters had left behind in their inability to create anything but destruction.

"What if you can’t?” Helplessness had strapped her hands to her sides, yet the question slapped Griffin in the face moving her backwards and further away from Faragonda to the opposite of her intentions. She’d just wanted to dig her out of the past now that they could witness a future that had been stolen from them.

Griffin raised her chin like she did in defiance and not to stare her down, though Faragonda was still way down below her to have Griffin’s words dropping on her head like bricks to crack her skull open rather than wall her up outside Griffin’s heart. “You should worry about yourself. Save whatever’s left of you if there’s anything at all from the old Faragonda.” It was the sharpness of Griffin’s words that cut her loose from the strings moving her around for her lungs to draw in a gasp of air. It’d been her Griffin had been looking for in the past rather than the piece of herself forever encased in ice. “She would never advocate for me to turn my back on three young girls.” The contempt was unlike anything Griffin had ever regarded her with. Not even when she’d accused her of betraying her by turning into a fairy.

"I still trust you, Griffin,” she stepped forward only to bite her tongue and stop dead in her tracks at the sight of Griffin’s demonstrative retreat. She was still herself... even if she’d failed to give the reassurance her best friend needed that she hadn’t turned against her in her pursuit to rid them of every trace of the witches Griffin had left in a show of heart she’d made her question.

"I don’t trust you,” Griffin put them on opposite sides again drawing a clear line between them that she couldn’t cross as easily as the distance between Alfea and Cloud Tower. No fairy dust could fix what she’d broken with the cold inside her. “I don’t know you,” Griffin’s voice spilled out in frozen waves that would make Faragonda’s lungs burst if she opened her mouth to risk swallowing them. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll have to run this midnight errand you’ve sent me on.”

She dematerialized without sparing another glance at Faragonda to leave her alone in the emptiness of the office like they’d never been there together. The room only seemed to broaden around her to leave her hopeless in the middle like a star that was flickering out in the vast void swallowing its dying light. Cloud Tower remained asleep to her light magic instead of closing in its dark energy on her to suffocate her or chase her away – whichever came first. Griffin had left her unsupervised in her office like she wasn’t enough of a traitor to be kicked out, let alone hunted for vengeance like Griffin herself had been when they’d been brought back together.

She wasn’t coming back and Faragonda had to return to her own office, to her own school and to her own life. A task she almost failed amidst the panic engulfing her consciousness as if to consume it once her body dissolved in her magic and left just her soul behind to wander aimlessly without the anchor of a home. It was just the sight of flames burning in green and blue eyes alike that grounded her back in her rightful position of leadership – a legacy she’d taken over for her friends to rest in peace after they’d done their duty at the price of an inhuman sacrifice.

The ring was waiting on her desk even though it had to have been just a few minutes. She’d lost track of time in the tomb of cold loneliness she’d found herself in when she’d been left on her own.

She picked it up, the weight of it almost non-existent in her palm to contrast with the ton of emotion it had brought out in just a few short hours only for the trouble to be resolved so quickly through cooperation. Maybe Griffin was right. Maybe the terror that had been nestled inside her ever since that day on Domino when her soul had only remained grounded in her body by the warmth of Griffin’s hand in hers had resided in her too long to hollow her out and fill her with paranoia. Maybe she was judging unjustly after the unfair hand the universe had dealt them all on that battlefield.

Or maybe they were being made pawns again to be shoved on the front of another war. She didn’t have Griffin’s warmth anymore–only the burning hurt in her gaze–but she had her students–maybe even the girl she’d sworn to protect with her life–to take care of. She’d have to let Griffin look after herself this time and do the same when the witch refused to be her support and let her be hers.

It was too ironic to be left to the heritage of fairies and witches fighting each other just like their students. Only, that was not what left Griffin unable to look at her. And she had to hope against all logic that there wasn’t another legacy their students were fated to uphold, that it was just the everlasting argument between fairies and witches that was the only thing connecting them all. But she couldn't. Her and Griffin’s friendship was too powerful to be cut in half by an ancient yet superficial divide. And the Dragon Fire was too strong to be extinguished by the evil of three witches.

The ring had found Bloom in an endless universe to bring her to her friends and her heritage. All that was left was to give it back to them and hope it’d acted like a lucky charm rather than a jinx. That and believe in their friendship after the one she’d had left after the unimaginable hatred the universe had been subjected to had given in to the fight they should have ended on Domino instead of inherited in place of the lost crowns Bloom would never get to see.

[itcars]

First Look: The Ferrari F8 Spider

Ferrari has unveiled the F8 Spider, the new generation drop-top sports car equipped with the most successful mid-rear-mounted V8 in history.

The Ferrari F8 Spider was designed in parallel with the F8 Tributo berlinetta and features the Prancing Horse’s compact and efficient RHT (Retractable Hard Top) which influences the lines of a model that leads its category.

The F8 Spider is the latest addition to an exclusive and prestigious bloodline of open-top V8 cars begun with the 308 GTS in 1977. It is less extreme than the 488 Pista Spider, but sportier than the 488 Spider which it replaces in the range.

Consequently, the F8 Spider sets a new benchmark for the “en plein air” sports car in terms of usable performance and handling, providing a rewarding driving experience. In fact, it excels in merging handling dynamics with surprising in-car comfort. This Ferrari spider thus combines the characteristics of the most lauded 8-cylinder engine in history with unparalleled driving pleasure.

The V8 has raised the performance bar to unprecedented new heights, not only for turbo engines but power units of all types.  The engine is a development of the V8 that won the “International Engine of the Year Award” for four consecutive years (2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019) and that was also selected as the best engine of the last two decades. An incredible feat unmatched in the history of the Awards.

The F8 Spider’s greatest achievement is the fact that it unleashes its power instantaneously with zero turbo lag, whilst retaining this V8’s unique and very special soundtrack. This astonishing performance and the car’s disarmingly effortless handling were made possible by integrating a series of innovative, track-derived aero solutions into its design.

The mission of every new model produced by Maranello is to introduce new design features and outperform its predecessors on all fronts. The challenge the engineers and designers always face is to push their own creative limits and the boundaries of technology by introducing new, leading-edge solutions and setting new levels of excellence. This is something they have done to brilliant effect once again with this new model.

The F8 Spider replaces the 488 Spider and improves on all aspects of its specifications: aside from the fact that its engine delivers an extra 50 cv, the new Ferrari is 20 kg lighter than its predecessor. It weighs just 20 kg more than the more extreme 488 Pista Spider. The F8 Spider is significantly more aerodynamically efficient, too and features the new 6.1 version of the Side Slip Angle Control system.

ENGINE

In the automotive world, Ferrari’s V8 engine is seen as the very epitome of sportiness and driving pleasure. This is particularly the case when it is mid-rear-mounted in a two-seater. Ferrari has been honing the scope of this architecture to perfection for over four decades as it optimally balances weight for perfect handling dynamics.

The V8’s technical specifications are truly exceptional. The 3902 cc unit unleashes 720 cv at 8,000 rpm and also has an impressive specific power output of 185 cv/l. Its maximum torque is now higher at all engine speeds, peaking at 770 Nm at 3,250 rpm.

Today, Ferrari V8s incorporate solutions  so refined they are effectively masterpieces of engineering. This power unit in particular further enhances the typical traits of all Maranello engines with smoothly progressive, limitless acceleration and zero turbo lag, combined with a unique soundtrack courtesy of a new exhaust system.

The new car offers drivers pure emotions. Instantaneously accessible power is matched by exceptional handling thanks to advanced vehicle dynamics solutions. These include a new version of the Ferrari Dynamic Enhancer (FDE+) which can now be activated in the manettino’s RACE position, a move designed to make performance on the limit easier to reach and control.

To achieve the 50 cv increase in power compared to the 488 Spider, the new intake line is derived directly from the 488 Challenge. In the F8 Spider, the air intakes have been moved from the flanks to the rear where they are located on either side of the blown spoiler and are directly connected to the intake plenums. This drastically reduces losses and ensures greater air flow to the engine, thereby increasing the power. The air flow also benefits from increased dynamic pressure created by the shape of the rear spoiler.

Adaptive Performance Launch analyses grip as the car accelerates and then uses electronic controls to optimise the torque delivered to suit the road’s grip level, reducing wheel slip to a minimum which, in turn, maximizes acceleration.

The rev limiter’s “Wall Effect” strategy is another leap forward in terms of extreme engine performance. Rather than gradually limiting the revs towards the limit, it cuts off right at the 8,000 rpm red-line, maximizing the amount of power available in power-on dynamic driving situations and consequently improving lap times.

Adopted once again on this model is the hugely successful Ferrari Variable Torque Management strategy for all gears. To adapt it to the car’s extreme sporty spirit, all of the torque curves were redesigned to deliver a feeling of consistently smooth, powerful acceleration all the way to the red line. Maximum torque is 10 Nm higher than on the 488 Spider and is available even at lower engine speeds.

The F8 Spider’s engine also inherits highly efficient weight-reduction solutions from the 488 Pista which have cut the power unit’s weight by 18 kg compared to that of the 488 Spider. Reducing the weight of rotating and non-static masses, such as the titanium con-rods, crankshaft and flywheel, allows engine speed to rise very rapidly, so much so that the driver can see the rev counter needle flying, particularly in rapid transitions, such as gear shifting and scorching low-gear acceleration, making the car feel even sportier still. These reductions in the weight of the rotating masses yield a 17% reduction in inertia.

Inconel exhaust manifolds derived from the 488 Challenge alone contribute 9.7 kg to the lighter engine weight. The exhaust layout has been extensively modified across the board from the turbos to the tail pipes to produce a sound absolutely unique to this particular car. The result is an unmistakable engine timbre that is superior in terms of both the intensity and quality of the sound. The exhaust line also features a new Gasoline Particulate Filter (GPF) to comply with new homologation requirements.

DESIGN

Designed by the Ferrari Styling Centre, the F8 Spider continues the direction embarked upon with the F8 Tributo which acted as a bridge to a new design language that will continue to emphasize Ferrari’s key characteristics of high performance and extreme aerodynamic efficiency.

When designing a spider, the choice of the top will always play a fundamental role in the car’s overall look. For some years now, Ferrari has been adopting a hard top because of the comfort it provides. As a result, the design of the F8 Spider’s lines was crafted around its RHT (Retractable Hard Top).

The key to the whole design was the shifting of the separation line between the car’s body and the roof from its conventional position at the belt-line (occupant shoulder level) to above the B-pillar. The top itself is thus more compact and two-dimensional, with the result that it can be divided into two parts and stowed on top of the engine.

The RHT takes just 14 seconds to deploy or retract and can be closed or opened while the car is on the move up to 45 km/h.

EXTERIOR

The goal the Ferrari Styling Centre set with the F8 Spider was to design a stylistic tribute to the Ferrari V8 engine, by evolving the contents of the F8 Tributo and taking inspiration from the most iconic mid-rear-engined V8 sports cars in Ferrari history. The result is a car with a strong personality of its own through an even sportier design clearly inspired by the car’s advanced aerodynamics.

The front view of the car is characterized by the S-Duct around which the entire front end has been redesigned to highlight the extensive aerodynamic modifications made to this area of the car. The clearest example is new, more compact, horizontal LED headlights.

The rear spoiler has been entirely redesigned. It is now larger and wraps around the tail lights, visually lowering the car’s center of gravity and allowing a return to the classic twin light cluster and body-colored tail, another styling cue from the early 8-cylinder berlinettas like the very first in the legendary series, the 308 GTB.

The treatment of the engine cover is one of the F8 Spider’s most distinctive characteristics. The manta-like look of the cover is created by a central spine that starts from the rear screen and disappears under the wing of the blown spoiler, following the air flows themselves.

The two wings that emerge from the central volume meld harmoniously with the bodywork, lending a sense of visual continuity from all angles.  These wing elements are suspended creating an air vent below them which helps improve dissipation of the heat coming off the engine. The three sculpted strakes on the side elements of the engine cover also make their own contribution to this, in addition to referencing the iconic styling of the rear screen of the coupé version. The strakes are finished in black to reduce weight low and to lend a sense of visual clarity to the design.

The crests that emerge from the prominent volumes of the tonneau cover fins flow sinuously rearwards and into the spoiler in an interpretation of the F1 “swan neck” (the pillars supporting the rear wings) which, in turn, enhances the already-powerfully sporty personality of the car.

COCKPIT

The F8 Spider’s cockpit retains the classic, driver-oriented look typical of Ferrari’s mid-rear-engined berlinettas. A concept that creates a symbiotic relationship between driver and car, very much as happens in F1, with all controls mounted on the new generation steering wheel. The sporty seats are also new.

The dash incorporates an aluminium sail panel supporting the central satellite and continuing into the dash itself. Also to create a sense of visual lightness, a sliver of carbon fiber divides the upper and lower parts, streamlining the whole look. This section also incorporates the optional 7” touchscreen passenger-side display and the dash is completed by the classic instrument cluster with its central rev-counter.

The tunnel is clearly separated from the dash and set beneath it, once again to enhance the sensation of lightness that the car’s interior exudes. It features a new bridge, a prominent sculptural creation that seems to float and thus further streamlines the cabin.

AERODYNAMICS

The F8 Spider has taken state-of-the-art aerodynamic solutions and innovations from Ferrari’s GT and Challenge racing experience, and moulded them into the production mid-rear-engined drop-top that makes the highest level of performance accessible to drivers of all abilities.

In the F8 Spider, the position of the front radiators – which, unlike the 488 Spider, are rearward-angled – is beneficial in cooling terms but simultaneously shrinks the underbody surface area that can be used to generate downforce. Thus the geometry of the channels used to dissipate hot air had to be redesigned to ensure that maximum downforce was generated whilst cutting drag thanks to the positive interaction between the flows exiting the radiator and the front wheels. The result is a 10% improvement in the car’s overall efficiency compared to the 488 Spider.

VEHICLE DYNAMICS

Overall performance levels are significantly higher than those of the 488 Spider, thanks to the increase in power, weight reduction and improved aerodynamic coefficient. That performance is also now accessible to a larger number of drivers thanks to vehicle dynamics systems that make driving on the limit an easier and more confidence-inspiring experience. These include a steering wheel with a smaller-diameter rim and the introduction of the new Ferrari Dynamic Enhancer Plus into the integrated SSC concept, now in 6.1 guise.

To achieve their goal of making the car’s impressive performance easy to access and control, Ferrari’s engineers worked on integrating engine and aerodynamics performance with the latest iteration of the vehicle dynamics control systems.  The Side Slip Control system, which improves drivers’ control on the limit for an even more engaging behind the wheel, has been further evolved. The transition from version 6.0 to 6.1 reflects the fact that the Ferrari Dynamic Enhancer system (FDE+) now also activates in the Race position of the manettino.

The FDE is a lateral dynamics control system that uses Ferrari software to adjust the brake pressure at the callipers. It debuted on the 488 Pista and was later adopted on the 488 Pista Spider. The F8 Tributo then featured the new FDE+ version with extended functionality which is now also being used on the F8 Spider. The control system, which is operational through and exiting corners (but not under braking), now also extends to low grip conditions and to the Race setting of the manettino.

[ladyanatui]

Daiken Ultimate Playlist, Pt. 4

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

This is the abridged version of my Spotify playlist for all things Daiken, organized from the start of 02 to…eventually.

Part 4 specifically covers from the episode where Paildramon first evolves to Imperialdramon through the end of the series (ignoring the epilogue obviously).

TRIGGER WARNING: This post discusses depression, suicide, emotional abuse, and PTSD quite a lot. Take care of yourselves, folks!

Spotify Playlist

Click the song titles for YouTube links (apparently you can’t have more than five videos in a post), and otherwise, enjoy me rambling about Daiken.

One final note: Within the lyrics, I’ve emphasized meaningful words, such as night/nightmare, dark/darkness, miracle(s), kind/kindness, courage/bravery, friend/friendship, sun/star/light, fire/burn/ignite, angel(s), and words related to water/drowning.

“Take on the World” by You Me at Six

And it's the fight, and the fight of our lives You and I, we were made to thrive And I am your future, I am your past Never forget that we were built to last Step out of the shadows and into my life Silence the voices that haunt you inside

And just say the word, we'll take on the world And just say you're hurt, we'll face the worst Nobody knows you the way that I know you Look in my eyes, I will never desert you And just say the word, we'll take on the world

While the lyrics lend themselves to describe Daisuke and Ken’s relationship in general, I specifically associate this with episode 39 when the Chosen Children meet with Gennai at Koushiro’s and Daisuke goes to Tamachi to help Ken. This is the episode where Paildramon first evolves to Imperialdramon, who incidentally can fly fast enough to go around the world in seconds (why they didn’t just use him to destroy all the Dark Towers instead of splitting up, I’ll never know), and the next three episodes are the World Tour sequence.

But most importantly, this is episode marks the first time that Ken calls Daisuke by his first name. It’s a really big moment, especially for Ken, who has so much trouble getting close to people. And then, you know, they go pick up the rest of the group in Imperialdramon and literally take on the world (tour).

“Satellite” by Starset

Satellite Shine on me tonight I will be your gravity I will stay and never leave My satellite Are you here tonight? Shine your light and set me free Take the darkness out of me Shine on me

Because Starset only writes songs about space and the sun is a star, a lot of their lyrics are applicable to Daisuke and Ken. I’m not sure I really need to explain this one. The lyrics say enough.

“Enemy” by Eve 6

The autumn sun burning logic in my brain I'm asking why there is pleasure when there's pain I'm here to pay for my mistakes in a humiliating manner If there is a next time, I'll cover up I feel alone, I feel shaky and uncertain A kind man shakes my hand and draws the curtain In a word he saves my life, and then I exit out the enter door and smile

Okay, so then we skip over the World Tour because they’re separated for those three episodes. And what comes next?

Three of my favorite episodes in the season!

Demon/Daemon happens. Buses of children about to die happens. Oikawa kidnapping kids happens. And of course, Ken opening the gate to the Dark World happens.

This one focuses on Ken and his decision to go with Oikawa in an effort to the protect the kidnapped children. He knows how dangerous it is, he knows he’s being manipulated and used, but he has to go because there are young children who’ve been manipulated as well and need his help. (The final two lines of the quote refer to Daisuke when he finally manages to rescue him, but the following songs go in between.)

“Don’t Let Me Down” by The Chainsmokers ft. Daya

Crashing, hit a wall Right now I need a miracle Hurry up now, I need a miracle Stranded, reaching out I call your name but you're not around I say your name but you're not around

I need you, I need you, I need you right now Yeah, I need you right now So don't let me, don't let me, don't let me down

While Oikawa has him prisoner, literally tied up (which doesn’t seem to bother any of the kids who insist they weren’t kidnapped? what?), who do you think he hopes comes to save him?

Yep, it’s Daisuke.

Okay, he calls for Wormmon too, but Daisuke is first. Because Daisuke is his knight in shining armor, and he knows Daisuke will not rest until he has Ken safe again. He has such utter faith in him, and it’s beautiful. (And I probably don’t need to point out that the song says “I need a miracle” and the fact that Daisuke is the only person who uses the Digimental of Miracles and that miracles has basically become synonymous with Daisuke in the fandom, right?)

“The Last of the Real Ones” by Fall Out Boy

I was just an only child of the universe And then I found you You are the sun and I am just the planets Spinning around you You were too good to be true Gold plated But what's inside you I know this whole damn city thinks it needs you But not as much as I do

And here’s another song that puts Daisuke in the role of being the sun with Ken revolving around him and, of course, in the role of Ken’s savior. It’s a pretty damn accurate depiction of their relationship and of how Ken views Daisuke. As the leader of the 02 Chosen Children, Daisuke is a source of hope for the whole world, though, and while Ken certainly doesn’t begrudge the world for needing Daisuke (he is the one who basically saves the day by being his normal optimistic self in the final episodes), I’m not so sure he wants to share.

“Tidal Wave” by Owl City

I forget the last time I felt brave I just recall insecurity 'Cause it came down like a tidal wave And sorrow swept over me Then I was given grace and love I was blind, but now I can see 'Cause I've found a new hope from above And courage swept over me

This song always stands out to me on the playlist because it directly mentions depression and also uses water metaphors to describe things. Between Oikawa and Demon, Ken is absolutely terrified, and even though he’s helped the Chosen Children throughout the previous fifteen episodes or so, he has cast himself in this role of being very insecure and needing to make amends. But it’s finally time for him to start to truly move on from his past and accept that not everything was his fault. Part of that means facing Oikawa, who manipulated him into becoming the Digimon Kaiser, and part of that means facing Demon, who is a blatant symbol for the darkness that haunts him. And during all of this, he has Daisuke there to be his courage and his miracle and help him through it all.

“Dodging Raindrops” by 311

I'm letting go, giving up the control Yeah, I'm ready to go wherever the wind blows I wanna see where the road's gonna lead Time is ticking and the world is not waiting on me

I've been dodging raindrops for far too long These clouds over my head, they won't move on I've been dodging raindrops, trying not to get wet I've been dodging raindrops for far too long Dodging raindrops But they're all in my head, all in my head

This whole song is basically a giant metaphor for depression and deciding to stop ignoring the symptoms and actually deal with them. Because of that, it seems appropriate for the moment Ken decides to use the power of his dark digivice to open a gate to the Dark World. It’s an incredibly risky thing to do and he has no idea whether it’ll actually work, but he knows it’s the best chance they have and he’s willing to take the risk.

“Trials” by Starset

These trials make us who we are, who we are, we are We're motivated by the scars that we're made of These trials make us who we are, who we are, we are We take our places in the dark And turn our hearts to the stars

I think it’s pretty safe to say that all of the Chosen have trials to face in order to achieve what they do to battle the darkness. But no one faces more trials and tribulations than Ken, and that’s incredibly apparent to the other five when he forces open the dark gate, truly facing his darkness and fighting against it.

“Get Up” by Shinedown

If you were ever in doubt Don't sell yourself short, you might be bulletproof Hard to move mountains when you're paralyzed But you gotta try And I'm calling out

Of course, everyone comes to support Ken. He’s finally fully one of the group, but the order everyone comes to his aid is important.

First is Hikari, who probably understands Ken’s relationship with the darkness and the Dark World the best since it too called to her. Then Takeru, who has always felt so strongly about fighting the darkness, which is super obvious in this season (Takeru totally has PTSD and anger issues from Angemon dying in the first season, but really, at this point, which Chosen Child doesn’t have PTSD?). Next is Miyako, who was super hesitant about him joining the group, but once she was on board with the idea, she was fully committed. Last, of course, is Iori, who was the last person to accept Ken, and this moment feels like another moment that Iori realizes how far Ken has really come and accepts him even more.

But Iori isn’t actually the last person. For once, Daisuke remains behind.

“Light Up the Sky” by Yellowcard

I can't find a wall to pin this to They're all coming down since I've found you I just wanna be where you are tonight I run in the dark looking for some light And how will we know if we just don't try We won't ever know

Let me light up the sky Light it up for you Let me tell you why I would die for you Let me light up the sky Light it up for you Let me make this mine I'll ignite for you

Logically, it could be argued that Daisuke should have been the first one at Ken’s side to support him while he opens the dark gate. He’s Ken’s biggest supporter and closest friend, after all. It would be easy to assume they left Daisuke for last purely because he makes a big speech, and for the sake of story tension, that speech needs to come after everyone else already jumps in to help. It would be easy to assume that.

But to do so is to ignore who Daisuke is at his core.

Yes, story-wise, they keep his speech till the end to give the most impact, but it has to work on a character level as well. And on a character level, Daisuke--sweet, wonderful Daisuke--has always believed in Ken and will always believe in Ken. He believes in Ken with every ounce of his being, and it is because of that that he isn’t the first person at his side.

“Weight of Living, Pt. 1″ by Bastille

There's an albatross around your neck All the things you've said And the things you've done Can you carry it with no regrets Can you stand the person you've become Ooh there's a light Ooh there's a light

Your Albatross, let it go, let it go Your Albatross shoot it down, shoot it down When you just can't shake the Heavy weight of living

Daisuke believes Ken can do this because Ken is strong enough to face his demons (while quite literally facing a Digimon called Demon), and when Daisuke finally steps in to help, he does so with one of the most moving speeches in the whole series:

You’ve been troubled, suffered, and broke free of the power of darkness, right? Haven’t you atoned for what you did? So there’s nothing to fear anymore. Believe in yourself! You can’t lose to the power of darkness. We’re here for you.

It’s important to note that the majority of his speech has far more to do with telling Ken to believe in himself using a logic most people don’t assume he’s capable of. It’s only until the last line, after he’s already broken through to Ken, that he iterates the fact that the rest of them are there to support him.

To Daisuke, it’s most important that Ken realize he is strong enough to fight this, that he doesn’t need to be afraid anymore, that he’s changed.

“Dream” by Imagine Dragons

We all are living in a dream But life ain't what it seems Oh everything's a mess And all these sorrows I have seen They lead me to believe That everything's a mess But I wanna dream I wanna dream Leave me to dream

Unfortunately, there isn’t much time between the Daemon Corps and when the Chosen Children follow Oikawa and the kids into the Dream World. After BelialVamdemon reveals himself, he sends the Chosen into a trance-like state where they envision their deepest dreams. The others see illusions of their broken family becoming one, humans and Digimon living together peacefully, seeing their dead father, or getting all the attention they want from their parents, but what does Ken see?

“Dear Agony” by Breaking Benjamin

Suddenly The lights go out Let forever Drag me down I will fight for one last breath I will fight until the end

And I will find the enemy within 'Cause I can feel it crawl beneath my skin

Oh yeah. He sees himself as the Digimon Kaiser essentially getting lynched by all the Digimon he hurt while under the influence of the Dark Seed. That’s not fucked up at all.

Obviously, Ken still has a long way to go as far as dealing with his trauma, but there’s one really important thing to note: He sees the lynching from an outside perspective, as if the Kaiser chained to the Dark Tower is not actually himself. I’m sure whether to accept his actions as the Kaiser as his actual actions, knowing he was manipulated by the Dark Seed, is something he struggles with regularly.

“My Demons” by Starset

I cannot stop this sickness taking over It takes control and drags me into nowhere I need your help, I can't fight this forever I know you're watching I can feel you out there

Don't let me go I need a savior to heal my pain When I become my worst enemy The enemy

His vision is then interrupted by his brother Osamu coming onto the scene and telling him to forgive himself and move on, so this vision has some good points as well.

Osamu: Ken, you have suffered enough. You have already paid for your sins. Ken: My sins have been paid for? Osamu: Yeah. Ken: It’s over. It’s over now.

He obviously still believes he deserves to suffer for what he did, but what he wants more than anything is to move on from that and not have it affect him anymore.

Wormmon, of course, is there to remind him that that isn’t possible, that we can’t live in the past (before Osamu died) and we can’t pretend the bad things didn’t happen. There’s too much at stake--not just the fight against BelialVamdemon, but to pretend those things didn’t happen means we don’t learn from our mistakes and we don’t improve.

“I Want to Live” by Skillet

All I ever needed was a reason to believe You help me hold on, you ignite the fire in me You always come for me, you know just what I need Don't make me wait for this, save me from this darkness I reach for the light

I want to live my life The choice is mine, I've made up my mind Now, I'm free to start again The way I want to live (to live) and breathe (and breathe) The way I want that's right for me I may not know nothing else But I know this, I want to live

Daisuke and Takeru show up then, and then the rest of the group, and they’re each there to support him, to show him they believe in him.

I find it interesting that all Daisuke says when he shows up is, “That’s right, Ken!” Once again, while everyone else says something that’s meant to lift his spirits and guide him in the right direction, Daisuke simply affirms Ken’s decisions and thoughts. He knows Ken will come to the right conclusion, and he doesn’t have to say any more than that.

Then, of course, they go back to the Dream World to fight BelialVamdemon for the final battle.

“King and Lionheart” by Of Monsters and Men

But you're a king and I'm a lion-heart And as the world comes to an end I'll be here to hold your hand 'Cause you're my king and I'm your lionheart

Obviously the world doesn’t come to an end because they defeat the bad guy and save the world and everything is magical again because Oikawa does something useful with his life (death), but the sentiment stands.

“Difficult Year” by Keane

Some days it seems okay Got some good friends around me But I'm still scared of losing my head I guess there's just something selfish about me

I've had a little bad luck Well, it's mostly my own making I thought I had it all sewn up But I was so badly mistaken

The series ends here, a little after Christmas but definitely before New Year’s, as New Year’s is a huge deal in Japan and, even around the climax, I don’t think they could get away with pretending it wasn’t happening. Considering the show started at the beginning of the school year, which is April in Japan, the series lasts about nine months, and boy has it been a trying year for all the Chosen Children.

Obviously, it’s been more than trying for Ken, and while he’s made tons of improvements throughout the season, he still has a long way to go to heal from his traumatic experiences, and Daisuke will be there with him along the way.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

[voidscattered]

BLOG REVAMP IS UP AND RUNNING

Since the only major difference is the backstory, I’m gonna put it up here for you all. I would’ve made it shorter but I honestly couldn’t find a way to without cutting out important stuff. Feel free to ask Gaster any questions you have, and if he doesn’t know the answer I’ll answer them for him!

I know it’s long, but please read this!

Background:

In the early 1600s, Gaster was created in a Muscogee Creek village by a man named Chelokeeilitchee (Chekilli). Due to the nature of creating a monster, Gaster had a soul bond with Chekilli. This gave them a constant feeling of how the other was doing and a general idea of where they were. They lived peacefully for the first 24 years of his life. Grillby was created a year after Gaster by Chekilli’s sister and helped her with her work while Gaster helped Chekilli with his, sometimes experimenting with magic or trading with the Europeans. He started learning English through this, but didn’t become fluent in it until the Underground.

The War Between Monsters and Humans started in the European colonies and spread into the Native American civilizations. Most natives fought alongside the monsters, though some fought against. With antimagic on the human’s side, though, monsters were eradicated quickly. The survivors were captured, bound with diluted antimagic so they couldn’t cast magic yet still survived, and thrown behind the barrier. Gaster and Grillby were captured by a faction of humans called the Monster Hunters, known for torturing their captors. They both still have scars from it, though they hide them well. The only ones Gaster hasn’t been able to hide are the cracks on his face. It also brought him to the point of such extreme distress and agitation that it broke the soul bond with Chekilli, which was very much the worst pain he'd ever experienced and probably ever will. He wears his scarf to hide the scars from the injury that triggered it.

Most of the trapped monsters died beneath the mountain from lack of magical energy from the sun. The ones that survived never strayed far from the few holes that allowed light in. As the population started to grow and there became less and less space for the amount of light, Gaster came up with the idea to make the Core as a way to provide magical energy to everyone in the Underground so they wouldn’t have to worry about staying near the sun. While the project was a success overall, future experiments to try and reach other universes accidentally created an opening to the void beneath the Core. It spread quickly, but he and his assistants managed to contain it before it spread too far. This destabilized the Core, resulting in a much lower output of magical energy and unpredictable fluctuations.

Gaster had previously experimented with determination, going so far as to inject some into himself to see what would happen. This widened the cracks on his face even more and he immediately stopped. His mental health after the War was never good, but he’d been in a particularly low point when, through experiments (a couple of which involved cutting out the holes in his hands), he discovered that a combination of determination and magic might stabilize the Core. It wasn’t perfect, but he figured that maybe if a consciousness was there to strengthen the determination, it would work. Convincing himself it was solely to save the residents of the Underground, he dropped Sans and Papyrus (who he’d adopted after their parents were dusted by a fallen human) off with Grillby, and he dropped himself into the Core and the void. The reaction dragged in the assistants that were there at the time, though they had a much closer hold on reality than he did. The only reason Gaster had any connection to his world in the first place was because, in a panic, he cast a spell that connected his life force to Sans’. His right eye was blinded and he would die if Sans did, but he could lend Sans his power, communicate with him through feelings, and Sans wouldn’t die if he did.

Now:

Despite being able to see all possible time paths in the universe, including a few ways that he might be able to get out of the void (not that he could do much to influence people's actions to go in that direction), his escape caught him entirely off guard, because it had nothing to do with his universe at all. In another universe, something went wrong to a certain Tardis mid-flight and she slipped into the void. Gaster and the (Tenth) Doctor immediately hit it off, and upon discovering his situation, the Doctor managed to get the Tardis out and into the skeleton’s universe. Along the way to figure out how to get Gaster out of the void as well as make sure the Core will stay stabilized, he met and made friends with Sans, Papyrus, and Alphys. He met Flowey and convinced him he’d find a way to get him a soul, thereby forming a truce.

After getting Gaster out of the void, the Doctor tried his hand at breaking the barrier and the resets. Gaster, Sans, and Papyrus, with Flowey inside but not joining them, helped the Doctor drive the Tardis into the fourth dimension. There the Doctor managed to succeed in breaking the barrier and resets, but when trying to get back to the third dimension, they went into a completely different universe instead.

In the three weeks of dimension hopping before managing to find their way back home, they visited many different universes, including Underswap, Handplates, another universe similar to Gaster’s, a universe similar to the Doctor’s, the Marvel universe (Tony Stark and Gaster do not get along), Detective Conan, and Fullmetal Alchemist. They became good friends with the Pines in the Gravity Falls universe and Hiccup and some dragons in the How to Train Your Dragon universe due to being stuck in each of those worlds for extended periods of time. Along the way, the Doctor actually managed to accidentally reform Flowey’s soul, and he shifted between his flower form and goat form a couple times depending on his mood before his soul fully formed and settled on the goat form. He can now change between forms at will.

After getting the skeletons back home and hanging out for a little, the Doctor got back to his universe with Asriel joining him. While traveling they picked up Jack Harkness and discovered Jenny and they became a little family unit (and the Doctor, as well as Jack, finally got some freaking therapy cuz they honestly really need it). Everyone kept in contact via interdimensional phones made in the Gravity Falls universe. The Doctor regenerated during this time.

A year after being dropped off, with the Doctor and Ford's help on design, Gaster finished creating a portal, allowing them all to visit each other again. However, along the way there was a mishap with a regulating panel on the portal and voidal radiation flooded the room. Gaster managed to stop it, but in the process some of the radiation got into his body and bonded with it. As such, he now glitches out if he gets startled or agitated. If not careful, he could glitch straight back into the void. If careful, he can intentionally glitch himself out to avoid an attack.

Given that monsters were freed a year before Frisk would've fallen into the Underground, Chara was never awoken. However, the first time the Tardis family came back to the Undertale universe, they all went on a tour on the main path in the Underground. The Doctor entered the room Chara was buried in before Frisk (who was also on the tour) did, and his levels of determination were high enough for him to be the one to accidentally pick up Chara instead, though that wouldn't be discovered for six more months. Around this time, Gaster reunited with Chekilli and he and the skelebros moved in with him. They also ran into some alternate versions of themselves and helped them get back home to their universe via the portal.

. . . Many other things happened after that but there are no clean ways to group them. Gaster and Sans started up therapy and both ended up getting service animals (Sans' as emotional support, Gaster's as emotional support and to wake him up if he starts glitching in the middle of the night due to nightmares). Gaster got ambushed by the same people who had kidnapped and tortured him before (life extension spells) and gave him cracks to almost mirror his other ones before the Doctor rescued him. A lot of relationship building between everyone, but especially Gaster, the Doctor, Jack, and River Song. The Doctor and Jack officially being in a relationship and the Doctor actually proposing to him. Plans to get Chara an actual body. Bill freaking stealing the body they were going to get because he tricked them into a deal (he was previously trapped in a laptop in the Tardis). Due to the fact that the body was intended to be possessed by and bonded to a spirit anyway, though, Bill wasn't able to leave and lost his powers, essentially becoming human. He now sulks in the Tardis and is carefully kept away from anyone he could easily manipulate or hurt.

There was also one point when, due to how close and touchy feely Gaster and the Doctor were with each other, multiple people, including friends and family, confused them for being in love with each other, which confused them themselves for a bit about how they were feeling and they actually went on a date to test it out and it all felt wrong so they vehemently decide they were not even close to being in love. A surefire way to fluster Gaster from embarrassment is to mention the fact that a kiss did happen during this time (in fact, it was the defining factor that made them realize no they do not want this).

At one point when they discovered that the alternate version of the Doctor had started using "they" pronouns instead of "he" (the alt Tardis fam discovered that timelords don't really have a concept of gender due to being able to switch sexes and gender not really being a thing among them, so the Doctor honestly doesn't really care what pronouns people use, and the family wanted to use neutral pronouns for them to respect their culture the best they could and the Doctor ended up actually liking and somewhat preferring the pronoun change for that reason), they decided to do the same thing.

With how close Gaster and the Doctor had gotten and with magic infiltrating the Doctor's soul, they eventually formed a rare natural soul bond. So rare that there are only really a hundred of them on the Earth at any given moment. Natural ones (ie not resulting from creating a monster) only form between the closest of people. Due to it bringing up some trauma in both of them (Gaster being terrified that the bond will break again and the Doctor having to deal with how similar it is to a timelord mental bond, which they can never have anymore), they're currently still figuring out how to navigate it.

More will be added as important events come up.

[jcmorgenstern]

3x04

Okay I’m gonna try to put my thoughts in some semblance of order about this episode because they were largely negative but I think I can qualify and explain them somewhat. I think the biggest problem I’m running into here is the worldbuilding and certain really foundational flaws in how some aspects of the characters are written. (Readmore for length).

What they had with Jace’s mental health is a good start. I still do quibble with the tactless decision to conflate psychotic symptoms with demonic possession, but I think we can agree they probably didn’t mean it that way, and even if it could have been thought through better...everyone’s mileage on that varies. But the biggest flaw that kept me from really engaging with that storyline was the utter unbelievability of the surrounding worldbuilding.

The fact there is absolutely no established procedure for medical evaluation or burnout in the field is just totally unbelievable. The fact that Alec isn’t required to order a medical evalution of Jace to continue field work, or even has any sort of health-related support or a medic to consult with is totally ridiculous. We’ve been told they have medics--Victor Aldertree was one before taking up a position as resident asshole--so where the fuck are they? The Clave is a military organization, there’s no way they don’t have some sort of health infrastructure to provide Alec support in figuring out what’s wrong with Jace.

If Alec had come to Jace in the same scene and asked if he’d be willing to see to a medic for his sleep problems or whatnot (and Jace refused, saying that Alec thinks he’s “crazy” and unfit for duty despite the fact he’s been giving things his all) that would make much more sense. But as it stands it just seems like the Clave’s policy is to have absolutely no health (let alone mental health lmao) support and like. That’s just incredibly stupid. They fight with swords. They’re going to get injured. So much of this show is just free-floating (often contradictory) facts in a total lack of coherent worldbuilding, and for me it’s starting to pile up and detract from my ability to emotionally engage with the action.

A lot of the dialogue was very clumsy in this episode--good ideas, but very poor execution. So much telling rather than showing, often with little tweaks that could have made it so much better. Like, if instead of saying “My love for Clary overcame your possession” Jace could have said that Clary helped him believe in the good in himself and he knew he’s not who her visions said he was. That is, in effect, the same statement, but the second is much more emotionally impactful--he’s not just saying they’re in love, it’s demonstrating a facet of that love and that bond and how it pulled him out of her possession.

Also, another thing that’s been bothering me since....well, ever, is that Clary more than anyone else is written so inhumanly and robotically. And it’s becoming more obvious. Alec gets  to go home to Magnus and talk about how being unable to help Jace is impacting him, how he was scared when their rune faded and how he’s frustrated his attempts seem to be pushing Jace further away, but Clary can’t even express mild distress or even pretend that she’s fine when someone asks. Killing Valentine, watching Jace die, knowing that she’s going to be thrown into prison for life if anyone finds out what she’s done--none of that weighs on her or even seems to be in her mind at all. She’s a cardboard cutout, writing wise, and in light of the complexity they’re at least trying to lend Jace, the disservice done her character really shows. Even when she claims she’s willing to brave the Guard to keep Jace safe, the dialogue is so wooden it just rings false, like she doesn’t even know what she’s saying or hasn’t even thought about it, there’s no gravity to her situation--her situation and her perspective isn’t even considered. So instead of speaking to the ferocity of her determination to keep the person she loves safe and the importance and depth of that connection between them, it rings as glib and trite.

The show really struggles to establish gravitas, despite taking itself much too seriously. Part of that is down to the ludicrious pacing--am I supposed to believe a war takes place in a few weeks at most?--but a lot of it is just due to the inability establish the situation and the characters in relation to it, and the extreme self-awareness established by pandering to the fandom’s every whim. In the moments that the show bucks expectation and utilizes its enormous cast to creatively explore how very different characters would interact, it shines.

On the things I enjoyed: I really enjoyed Jordan Kyle so far, I’m hoping they’ll manage to flip expectations regarding how his arc goes down in the books. A personal preference would be finding a non-romantic resolution to the animosity between him and Maia. I enjoyed the conversation between Maia and Luke--I’ve enjoyed him in his leadership position so far, as it seems more realistic than their usual fare. If they don’t wuss out and do actually give Maryse consequences, that realism will really enrich the show and heighten the emotional stakes, even if her punishment isn’t entirely deserved.

Raphael...I don’t really think they’ve coherently linked his emotional states to what he’s doing with Heidi, and while I like that they’ve fleshed her out more from a Empty Blonde Bitch(TM) in the books to someone who sees no reason to function by social rules because they’ve done nothing but let her down and hurt her. The song playing while she fucks around with Simon’s stuff was a fantastic touch. The actress who plays her is wildly overdirected and it’s driving me insane, but it...could be worse.

Izzy still doesn’t have a coherent arc, and to be honest I did find her assertion that most of her relationships were about sex and with Raphael it was better because he didn’t want sex--I felt that was a bit. Unfortunate in its implications. I’m willing to shut up and wait it out but...that’s all I’ve done with her since S1 and I’m getting tired of it. I did love Lilith and I hope they can keep it up with her even though. Her dialogue this episode was also pretty painful. She dictates her plans to the screen and...it’s very cartoonish and so. much. telling. not showing.

Anyway overall this episode....tried to do a lot of things and for me most of them fell sort of flat, mostly due to some really unfortunate writing choices but also mostly due to a really fundamental failing of worldbuilding and characterization. I’m hoping 3B will at least give them a chance to flesh Clary out a bit more emotionally, but considering they’ve had all of season 2 to start I...don’t see that happening. I’m fine with having a few episodes I loved less than others, but unfortunately for me these flaws are sort of fundamental and won’t really be fixed, and will probably continue to impact how much I enjoy a lot of what they do. While there are islets of stuff I really enjoyed, the show’s huge cast and enormous ambitions make it almost impossible to put together coherent thoughts with so many arcs and threads hanging loose with little integration. I’m willing to hold out judgement until we’ve seen more of the resolution of the stuff they’re starting, but often with this show I find they do more starting plot threads than actually keeping them up or resolving them meaningfully so....yeah. More creative problemsolving for their plot thread integration is direly needed.

tl;dr: there was no crispy in this episode and some idiot (me) won’t shut the fuck up

[vanessakirbyfans]

If Kornél Mundruczó and Kata Wéber’s “Pieces of a Woman” seems to rearrange the fragments of a typical melodrama into something unusually jagged and incomplete, perhaps that’s because there aren’t many films about miscarriages or stillbirths. Movies often introduce such tragedies as plot twists — cruel yet narratively convenient ways of bridging the gap between one part of a story and another — but few dare to make them the crux of the story itself.

There are several reasons for that. For one thing, movies about dead babies don’t typically pull Marvel-like numbers at the box office. For another, the pain of losing a pregnancy or newborn child is unfathomable in a way that can be hard to communicate to people who haven’t suffered a similar loss. What does it feel like to mourn something that was never alive? And if someone is lucky enough not to know the answer to that question, is it possible (or even desirable) for a movie to share it with them?

Watching “Pieces of a Woman,” it’s obvious director Mundruczó and screenwriter Wéber — partners in real life who share a “film by” credit here — know the answer to that first question all too well (the press notes indicate a personal loss of some kind, but remain understandably vague about the details). This is the kind of movie you don’t make unless you have to. If the filmmakers struggle to distill some version of their experience into a 125-minute drama that will resonate with people who haven’t felt such hurt firsthand, it’s certainly not for lack of trying.

Mundruczó’s virtuosic movies tend to open like a house on fire only to spend the last two acts finger-painting with the ashes (see: “White God,” “Jupiter’s Moon”) and “Pieces of a Woman” is no exception. On the contrary, this film’s harrowing prologue is the most audacious thing its director has ever shot: A 30-minute long-take that follows an ill-fated home birth in real time as Mundruczó’s camera wends through a Boston townhouse on a gimbal, supplanting the chaos of a handheld camera with a harrowing sense of awe and holy terror.

Things seem off from the start, even if birth plans were made to be broken. It’s bad enough that Martha (Vanessa Kirby) feels sick — loopy, confused, gulping back vomit that never comes — and even worse that the scheduled midwife is busy with another labor. Her replacement is a woman named Eve (“Madeline’s Madeline” actress Molly Parker, threading the needle between fierce conviction and false confidence as only she can), and we can’t help but distrust her or feel like she’s in over her head.

Maybe we’re just channeling the manic helplessness that’s radiating off of Martha’s partner. A blue-collar Bostonian who’s promised his unborn daughter she’ll be the first to cross the massive new bridge he’s building over the Charles River, the extremely Shia LaBeouf-like Sean (Shia LaBeouf) is the kind of guy who can’t even make small talk without a serrated edge. Like a feral animal trapped in a cage made for something half its size — or like virtually every other character LaBeouf has played in recent memory — Sean is wound up in a way that leaves you nervous every time he’s onscreen. His spring-loaded sense of coiled violence makes him scary enough on a good day, let alone the worst night of his life. Which is exactly what he’s in for.

We suspect things aren’t going to end well — you can’t help but cringe at Martha’s ominous decision to frame her ultrasounds in the baby’s nursery — but that doesn’t make it any easier to witness. In fact, the sequence might seem emotionally pornographic if not for how foundational it is for the film that follows (only an abbreviated Sigur Rós cue threatens to tip the gambit into exploitation). Having a child is like placing your heart outside of your body, and understanding “Pieces of a Woman” would be too much of a jigsaw puzzle if we weren’t forced to be so deep inside the moment when Martha saw that heart stop beating.

Losing someone is easier to film than the entropy of living without them, so it’s no surprise that “Pieces of a Woman” struggles to maintain the emotional velocity of its intro. The remaining 90 minutes of the movie are scattered over the next six months as Sean and Martha try to sort through the rubble of the future they’d imagined together. How are you supposed to move on from that kind of trauma? How is a film supposed to live up to that kind of kickoff? You’re not, and it can’t, but the characters in “Pieces of a Woman” aren’t seen through the story’s inertia so much as suffocated by it. Martha goes numb as fall hardens into winter, but the stoic uncertainty of Kirby’s ultra-committed performance is unfulfilled by a script that isn’t sure how to apply its heroine’s strength.

Her pain is easier to illustrate, and Mundruczó and Wéber are well-attuned to the cruelty of Martha’s condition. To the unique visibility of a mother losing their child with nothing to show for what they’d been carrying. To the acute invisibility of watching other parents interact with their kids in public. To the way Martha’s own body continues to betray her for months after the tragedy and express her grief in ways she can neither hide nor control. Hard as she tries to put herself back together, there’s always another leak. Kirby plays Martha as a woman trying to right a ship that’s already halfway underwater, and the movie around her is at its best when watching her try to keep an even keel.

But there are so many other things Mundruczó and Wéber want to do — so many pieces of Martha they try to reassemble before she realizes she’ll never be made whole. Sometimes that’s expressed through airless symbolism (e.g., Martha’s overstated affinity for apples and their seeds, Sean’s bridge nearing completion as he burns all the other ones in his life). Sometimes it’s expressed through secondary characters.

This movie belongs to Martha, but Sean’s gradual self-destruction eats up a lot of the energy. He handles the loss of their daughter as you might expect, letting the anger get the best of him and throwing away six years of sobriety. If his journey never feels dishonest, it nevertheless becomes unmoored from the gravity of Martha’s grief as soon as it’s clear they’re traveling along different orbits. She recognizes Sean as just another part of herself she’ll never get back, while the film agonizes its way toward the same understanding.

A subplot connecting Sean and Martha’s cousin (“Succession” favorite Sarah Snook) could’ve been ditched entirely. Another thread concerning the uneasy alliance between Sean and Martha’s rich and severe Holocaust survivor of a mother (a quavering Ellen Burstyn) frays into a mess of half-finished thoughts on class, survival, and the ultimate cost of putting the past behind you. Benny Safdie and Iliza Shlesinger deliver supporting performances that lend Martha’s extended family a sense of lived-in strain, but they’re mostly reduced to window dressing until a pivotal get-together wraps most of the cast in a tense conversation about… the White Stripes?

It all builds to a court scene hijacked by the histrionics of America’s legal system, which feels like it belongs to another movie altogether. The hint of a media circus around Eve’s trial never materializes, as “Pieces of a Woman” splinters into so many shards that Martha has no choice but to accept she’ll never put them back together again. The film strives to find the grace in that futility — in Martha’s hard-won acceptance of the fact that she’ll always be missing some part of herself, and that she’ll have to grow around that absence if she doesn’t want to fall into it. But after the implosive force of those first 30 minutes, the rest of the movie can’t help but feel like a self-defeating scavenger hunt through the rubble.

Grade: C+

“Pieces of a Woman” premiered at the 2020 Venice Film Festival. It will also play at the Toronto International Film Festival. It is currently seeking U.S. distribution.

[lilaswordsandthings]

Terminal/Chronically Ill Characters in Literature & Media (A Writer/Survivor’s Perspective)

As someone who has struggled with chronic health issues and has also lost friends and family to variations of the same condition I was born with, characters that are like me and my loved ones, and relationships similar to those I had with the people I’ve lost are something that I naturally gravitate towards and pay particular attention to. However, I find that it’s so rarely done well… so let’s talk about it.

 For the structure of this post I’m going to be talking about 4 examples, two bad examples, and why they’re so flawed, and two good examples and what they got right that the others didn’t.

 For some reason, writers seem to find it difficult to pull off a (main or important) character with a chronic or terminal illness, especially when that character has some kind of relationship with a character who is either healthy or somehow medically better off.

 Usually, what we get are things like Me before You (I apologize right now to anyone who enjoyed that book/movie but I really didn't) or Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon, (which I liked but I still feel like it was a bad portrayal of what I'm talking about).

 Now let me fully explain why these portrayals fail epically.

 In Me Before You by Jojo Moyes the character William has been severely and permanently injured and is now wheelchair bound. He also wants to die. Yes, you read that correctly, this character has literally given up to the point where he can’t wait to just end it and there is no amount of effort by those who care about him that can convince him that his life is still worth something. This is problematic for a couple of reasons but firstly because he’s a horrendous example for anyone who either has been injured that way or knows and cares about someone who has. Secondly, he’s a total 100% STATIC character. His outlook doesn’t change in this story, at all. At the beginning he wants to die, and by the end the people around him have given up trying to change his mind. I mean, I get that he’s not really the main protagonist here, Louisa, his caregiver/girlfriend is, but that actually makes it worse! Not only do we have a completely static secondary main character; but we have a defeatist protagonist who literally gives up trying to save the man she supposedly loves. What kind of thematic message was the author trying to send here? I just…can’t get over how messed up this is…

            Now, as I said above I personally enjoyed Nicola Yoon’s novel Everything, Everything and its film adaptation. However, I did have issues with it in terms of this topic for several reasons.

 1.      Bad research. This was largely corrected in the film (or at least glossed over enough that it wasn’t really noticeable) but the Main Character Maddie’s illness, as described in the book, is not SCIDS (Severe Combined Immune Deficiency Syndrome), they tell you she has SCIDS but in terms of what they’re actually describing? It is actually presented as matching an even lesser known disorder called Mass Cell Activation Syndrome. When I first read it I tried to rationalize it as (spoiler alert) being that Maddie’s illness isn’t real and is a figment of her mentally ill mother’s mind, her mom can make up her own rules and boundaries in terms of Maddie’s condition and this was yet another subtle hint at the hidden truth. However, honestly, I don’t think the quality or accuracy of the book lends itself to Yoon pulling that off quite this well if that’s what she was going for; and it’s a shame.

 2.      She’s not really sick! This goes off of my last point but the fact that she turns out to have been fine this entire time cheapens all the drama and risk that came before that revelation, including her relationship with the novel’s male lead, Ollie. Which is why it’s a terrible portrayal of that kind of relationship, because the barriers and hoops they have to fight their way through to be together just *poof!” disappear. That’s not life! Since Mass Cell Activation Syndrome can appear and/or change at any moment and spontaneous recovery is at least theoretically possible, we really could have had something if Maddie had actually had the condition that was actually described in the book and you know, really had it at some point but then her mom kept it going because she’s incredibly paranoid and not right in the head. Sadly, however, no… that’s not what we got.

 This lack of honest and positive representation for people with chronic illnesses, the spectrum of form and severity even a single condition can take, and the relationships between the chronically ill and those with a different health status than them, fortunately, is beginning to improve. Two of the best recent examples of this that I can think of are John Green’s novel The Fault in Our Stars, and the Manga Your Lie in April originally created by Naoshi Arakawa and brought to life on screen by A1 Pictures and the stunning voice talents of both the original Japanese and English dub voice casts.

 The Fault in Our Stars by author and YouTuber John Green is a beautiful story about two friends turned lovers who find meaning, support, safety, and even hope in each other when the universe seems to be conspiring to take everything else in life away from them, because well…cancer can do that… I loved reading and watching these two interact and the best part about it is that neither is defined by the hand life has dealt them, it has profoundly affected who they are and how they see themselves and the world, as of course, it would, and it continues to throughout the novel. However, we always see this in the context of who they each are, it never becomes who they are. That balancing act of being honest about what situations like that do to people is what is missing from so many works that attempt this kind of story and this is a great example of when it’s done right. There is, however, one that I feel is even better.

 Your Lie in April originally written in manga form by Naoshi Arakawa is easily my one of my favorite series of all time and is probably the best example of chronic illness/relationships. Let me explain why.

 Plot Summary

 For those of you who haven’t seen/read it, let me give you a ballpark idea. Kousei Arima was once a competitive pianist and child prodigy, trained, brutally, by his abusive and terminally ill mother. Once a great pianist herself, she is now weak, wheelchair-bound, and running out of time, so she brutalizes her only son mentally, emotionally, and physically in her rush to train him to play the music exactly as written, knowing that this will allow him to succeed on the competitive scene and thereby support himself after she’s gone. Soon after his mother dies Kousei suffered a breakdown under the pressure and after that day, gives up music almost entirely until he meets the beautiful and vibrant Kaori Miyazono. Who is a violinist but plays with a freedom and grace that Kousei has never seen before, and it is her constant prodding that brings him back to the stage. Kaori however, has a secret. She has been diagnosed with an unnamed terminal illness that, as the story progresses, gradually robs her of her mobility and coordination and becomes an increasingly prevalent threat to her life.

 Kaori is where this story really shines in terms of our topic because her journey with her illness is among the most human and genuine portrayals of a situation anything close to hers, that I’ve ever seen. For a few reasons:

 1.      Kaori is more than her illness. Again, we see how her illness has affected who she is and how she sees the world and her place and purpose in it, but it is never her defining feature. We also see who she is apart from it, her love of sweets, her upbeat and freewheeling personality, and of course her obsession with music.

2.      How she copes: She’s had this illness for most of her life but the gravity of her situation doesn’t really sink in until she’s thirteen or fourteen and catches her parents crying in the hospital waiting room. To quote the Anime: “That’s when I realized I didn’t have much time.” And the moment she realizes this, she hits the ground running, determined to make the absolute most of every minute she has left, so that she can die with as few regrets as possible.

She doesn’t run from her illness, she keeps it from her friends until it becomes obvious for their sake, she fully accepts the reality of her situation and does what she can to make the best of it. This includes wanting to do something good for someone that’s going to matter, in the form of dragging Kousei out of his emotional funk.

That said, she’s not an angel by any means. She doesn’t suffer in silence the entire time, there are moments even before her friends find out that we see the cracks in her façade. We see her cry, and lament, and break down, and towards the end even start to give up. Even then though, unlike in Me Before You she doesn’t give up to the extent that she’s unreachable, all it takes is a kick in the pants (not literally) from Kousei and she renews her will to fight and go on as long as she possibly can. To quote the anime again: “Maybe I’m just greedy, but I want to dream again.”

3.      The Ending: In the end of course, Kaori dies, the show takes a no holds barred realistic approach to the situation, there’s no miracle cure, there’s no misdiagnosis, nothing to save our heroes from the inevitable tragedy that will tear them apart. Unfortunately, as I know all too well, such is life. In life sometimes there are no magic answers, no way to save the day, only the harsh reality to swallow. The fact that this series was willing to attest to that, just makes it all the better.

4.      Kaori X Kousei: Over the course of the story we see Kaori and the progression of her illness mainly through Kousei’s eyes and the tumult of emotions he goes through in reaction to it is not only realistic but beautifully done. At first, he notices little things here and there, her collapsing after their duet, how thin she is, the more obvious her illness becomes the more apprehension he feels at the possibility of losing yet another person he’s come to know and love. At one point, he even avoids her for a time, unsure of what to say or do, which while not the most admirable reaction, is a totally normal and human one.

Kaori sees him struggling emotionally and laments ever getting involved, wondering out load during one of his visits if it would be better had they never met, and giving him license after her impending death to forget all about her and forget everything they’d shared. By the end though, Kousei decides he could never do it, and chooses instead to cherish Kaori’s memory and let her continue to drive him forward in music and in life.

This last point is very, very important because this a question that everyone has to ask themselves at some point. Was it worth it? Is it better to love and to lose than to have never loved at all? What both positive examples have in common is they answer that question with a resounding YES!. 

So what have we learned? We all know that one-dimensional characters are neither interesting nor realistic and should be avoided at all costs. An illness or disability does NOT warrant an exception to that rule. Or the rule about avoiding static or passive characters either. It’s nuts that we seem to somehow think it is. 

[majoredinhealing]

My wishlist for Dissidia NT (in order of game titles) (Spoiler warning for various games)

Preface: No inclusions of characters that were already playable in Dissidia 012 as there's a very good chance they'll come back (slightly worried about Laguna, but we need more daddy/son bonding time)

FFI: Princess Sarah. I don't think sticking in one of the six playable jobs would really fit since The Warrior of Light is supposed to be all of the playable characters at once (who knows how, but there ya go). Alternatively, Chaos could be bumped up to playable here as well.

FFII: Minwu. Shoot things and blow himself up. Good times.

FFIII: Xande. Again, similar situation with WoLly, throwing in another Job that appeared in III would be weird. I don't think Cid would work (I mean specifically III's Cid if that wasn't obvious. I only mention this since Cid is used in Theatrythm), but a strong case can be made for Xande. He can probably pull attacks from his FFXIV incarnation as well.

FFIV: Rosa or Zemus. Rosa could draw more heavily on her archer aspects, but I don't think that would capture her character very well. Zemus could draw upon the power of his four fiends and his powered up form like Garland does.

FFV: Faris or Galuf. Faris is more popular, but I, personally, have a stronger emotional connection to Galuf. They would probably play similarly to Bartz, but they would draw on different Jobs than him.

FFVI: Celes or Leo. Strong cases could be made for either (though I'm not familiar enough with FFVI to picture how they'd fight. Maybe they'd be a physical version of Terra - as in, they pause between attacks to passively build up a charge to use on their next attack)

FFVII: Aerith. Hey, she wasn't technically playable in Dissidia 012, so she counts. She'd probably be team support heavy, and I think she could really work in that regard.

FFVIII: Rinoa. HP attacks are her Angelo Limits. EX Skill is Angel Feather - I mean, it practically writes itself.

FFIX: Garnet "Dagger" or Vivi. I think either would do really well, though I think Vivi would more easily lend himself to a fighting game than Garnet, ironically. Vivi could be the "caster" version of Cloud (as in, he charges up his attacks to launch them [Terra has to stop attacking to charge]).

FFX: Auron. I mean, it's kinda obvious - popular character, samurai based attacks... There's not much to say here.

FFXI: (I don't know enough about this game FFFFFF-) I guess one of the villains? Shadow Lord? Eald'narche? *shrugs shoulders*

FFXII: LARSAAAA *thrown off of cliff* Okay, fine. Vayne. HP attacks are Bahamut attacks, EX Skill is the Bahamut firing on the stage. S'all good. Then there's also Ashe (you know, THE REAL HERO OF THE STORY) and Balthier (the self-proclaimed hero of the story).

FFXIII: Snow or Hope. I think Snow would lend himself better as a fighter since Snow has Commando and Ravager as two of his default roles (the third being Sentinel, a tank), while Hope only has Ravager as one of his default roles (the other two being Medic, a healer, and Synergist, a team buffer). However, Hope could be interesting as no other character uses a boomerang as a weapon. And, like Lighting, both would probably use their personal summons' attacks as their HP attacks.

FFXIV: HOLY SHIT, I WANT A SUMMONER ALPHINAUD LIKE YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE. Unfortunately, I think he would have been more likely if we were still in the Heavensward timeframe since, although this is a fighting game, is does also act like an advertisement, meaning someone who's Stormblood related would likely have more of a shot. That means it would probably be Lyse (because more fanservice) or Zenos (because he's on the box BUT BY GOD HE'S SUCH A BORING VILLAIN UUUUUGH). Besides Alphinaud being an outside shot, I think Estini-hogg could be super interesting. Also, RED MAGE ALISAE WAT UUUUUUUUP!!

FFXV: (Again, I don't know enough about this game fuck meeeee) I mean, I guess Noctus and Ardyn?

Spinoffs, sequels, and etc: Zack (FFVII: CC, focuses on his EX skill granting him a random buff), Serah (FFXIII-2, also drawing upon Commando and Ravager for her skills with HP attacks instead being monster attacks), Layle (FFCC: TCB, gravity powers? Gravity powers), Ceodore (FFIV: TAY, his attacks would probably be his various Band actions while Awaken would be his EX skill or a buff he freely triggers), Agnes (Bravely Default, probably canceling attacks to make her next one stronger)

[nonamememoir]

Literature as an Invaluable Philosophical Tool by Tori Bloom

What makes literature different from traditional philosophy is the introduction of fictional worlds to explain real concepts. Philosophy is formulaic, with the use of premises and conclusions that are supported by logic and facts (Nanay, 2013). Literature does not follow this formula, and it also exists outside of our world’s logic. However, because of the fantastic nature of literature, readers are exposed to experiences they may not have had elsewhere. In this way, literature can introduce readers to new concepts and ways of thinking. Catherine Elgin (2014) likens literature to a thought experiment. Thought experiments, she explains, are experiments that are often impossible to perform in real world, but still hold truth because they can help to clarify the facts of a situation. In fact, one might argue that literature and thought experiments in general can hold insights that philosophy on its own might not. The worlds and characters that exist in literature do not exist outside of the confines of those books, but they can share characteristics of the real world as well as truths. The intention of the writer is also important, as some pieces of literature are written as a response to a philosophical piece, with dialogue, characterization, themes, and more that work to defend or attack an idea. This is not to say that there are no limitations, however. One limitation is that there is a disconnect between literature and philosophy, as philosophy is a subject of pure logic, while literature relies on things that are made up. Another flaw is that literature depends on the reader, and Vladimir Nabokov argues in Good Readers and Good Writers that it is the mark of a bad reader to project onto the characters. This is because in projecting one’s own values, personality, and morals onto a novel readers may not be open to the new concepts that that work has to offer. Literature is open to interpretation, which means that it the truth about the world that one reader draws from the work might not be the truth that another draws. While there are both flaws and benefits to applying literature in the way that one would apply philosophy, the benefits outweigh the flaws, and in fact literature is an invaluable tool because it exposes people to new lines of thinking that pure logic and empirical studies can’t.

Even empirical studies are often prefaced by thought experiments, as performing an experiment requires an imagined hypothesis.  For example, without knowing Newton’s laws of gravity and aerodynamics, one can hypothesize that a ten pound rock would fall faster than ten pounds of loose feathers. We can picture a rock falling, and feathers floating down at a slower pace. This imaginary experiment brings about more questions. If those feathers were stuck together to form a solid block of feathers, would they then fall at the same speed as the rock? We can imagine that they would, and wonder why this is. This can lead us to the idea that perhaps the shape, density, or interaction with air influences the rate of fall. With this in mind, Elgin says that even in empirical science, thought experiments help to illuminate facts and eliminate the need for unnecessary experiments. In fact, she argues that thought experiments are necessary because they help to avoid real-world variables that may affect an empirical study. In the feather analogy, for instance, a thought experiment does not involve forces such as the wind. It should be noted that thought experiments do not eliminate the need for empirical studies, but that they help researchers know what questions to ask, and thus what experiments to conduct.

Philosophers use thought experiments as well, as many theories about how the world works simply cannot be tested outside of imagination (Elgin, 2014). The concept of utilitarianism as a form of justice, for example, relies on the idea that in a perfect world, pleasure and displeasure could be quantified and used as a basis for morality. Perhaps we could test this empirically, but there is no way to test whether overall pleasure versus displeasure measures morality. The use of thought experiments is debated because concepts like utilitarianism, which is founded on the idea of a situation free of third variables, do not occur in real life, and thus cannot be empirically proven (Elgin, 2014). However, an inability to conduct an experiment does not disprove it. In the feather and rock thought experiments for example, one could come to the conclusion that surface area and air affect rate of fall. If this could not be tested, that would not make it any less true. If it were impossible to test, the idea could still be supported by things that occur without outside influence. For example, a leaf falling from a tree drifts slowly to the ground, while a twig simply fall. Thought experiments are the same, stemming from the logic of the real world. One could, for example, argue against utilitarianism by using an example in which a greater number of lives saved does not necessarily equate to a good moral decision. The Holocaust brought about millions of deaths and suffering, but also medical advancements and German prosperity. While one could argue that the medical advancements and economic prosperity brought about more overall conservation of human life, is it just to say that because more lives were saved that it was morally good? Is it only the lives lost that contribute to the quantified suffering? Should torture be a higher amount of suffering than death? These questions bring more ambiguity to the validity of turning human emotions into numbers and casts doubt on the utilitarian perspective on justice, as it is simply too subjective. However, pure logic does not lend itself  even to branches of philosophy that involve empirical science (Nanay, 2013). Bence Nanay argues that philosophy of all forms does not only tell us how the world functions objectively and logically, but how we perceive these functions. In David Foster Wallace’s The Broom of the System there is a part where Mr. Beadsman reminisces about his mother and how she had once asked him what the fundamental part of the broom was. He responded that the bristles were most fundamental, but she pointed out that the only reason he answered the bristles was because he wanted to broom to sweep. If, on the other hand, he had wanted the broom to break a window, it would be the handle that was the fundamental part of the broom (Wallace, 2010, p. 150). Philosophy seeks to examine function, but like the broom analogy, function is always dependent on what we wish to get out of something.

Literature is like a thought experiment because both follow a narrative, both illuminate facts about the world, and both require interpretation and suspension of disbelief (Elgin, 2014). Literature involves a set of circumstances that exist outside of the real world, unaffected by third variables, and yet one can find patterns in literature that also exist in the world. With The Awakening by Kate Chopin readers can gain insight into what it might have been like to be woman in the 1800s and may recognize patterns and symbols in Edna’s life that demonstrate the struggle between freedom and ignorance. Specifically, the imagery of a bird is used in this novel. The first mention of a bird is a parrot in the cage at the very beginning of the novel, and later on Mademoiselle Reisz says to Edna, as she becomes more and more independent, that "The bird that would soar above the level of plain tradition and prejudice must have strong wings. It is a sad spectacle to see the weaklings bruised, exhausted, fluttering back to earth.” (Chopin, 1994, p. 79). In fact it is suggested that what brings Edna crashing back down to the Earth is her inability to connect to others, as they remain caged, unable to see the bars that hold them in (Clark, 2008). Zoila Clark (2008) argues for a Foucauldian reading of The Awakening, suggesting that the oppression that the women in the novel face is a function of the society that they take part in. That is, people take part in their own oppression unwittingly. This, Clark says, is exemplified by the character Adele Ratignolle, who finds identity in the motherly nature that society deems acceptable for her. However, even Edna was subject to this internalized oppression, from her choice of a loveless marriage based on convenience to the fact that she had repressed her passion for painting in favor of being a mother. While Edna’s experiences are not real, they provide a snapshot of a life that could have existed in reality and might still today. The lives of fictional characters are important, as Elgin points out, because if we were to base philosophy on only real people, any look into human experience would be overwhelmed by detail. Unlike Edna Pontellier, a real woman is in a continuous narrative of outside forces that does not have the goal of making a commentary on social patterns. So, like a thought experiment, literature provides a world free of third variables that illuminates problems in the world and possible solutions.

Fiction can even outperform philosophy in some ways, as it can give insight into how  social and cultural relationships develop and function when the reader cannot experience the relationship for himself . Go Tell it On the Mountain by James Baldwin (2013) is a fictional story, but the author himself is a gay, African American, male and relies on feelings from his own life to tell the story of John Grimes. Unlike a biography, ethnography, or other non-fiction account, fiction allows the reader to get inside the mind of the main character and go through the story as if those experiences were their own. Perspectives one might not have otherwise had become a possibility. One might not have even considered, before reading Go Tell it On the Mountain, the struggle of living in a community that deals with religion, as well as racism and sexism from both within and outside of the community. The novel does not set forth any premises, nor does it give some sort of conclusion that the reader is meant to come to. However, through the eyes of a preacher who excuses his own sins and hatred and a woman who hates her own skin color, James Baldwin critiques religion on the basis of his own upbringing. We are not specifically told that John’s father is meant to be an archetype of the corrupt preacher, or that his Aunt’s skin-whitening is a product of racism, but the readers are meant to draw these conclusions through experience. However, even if one were to grow up in a similar environment to John’s, that does not mean nothing could be gained from the story. Deleuze (1997) says that literature is the art of becoming some non-specific thing. It is not identity or a state that matters, but the process that one goes through. If a reader were to go into a novel with the thought in mind that they understood the characters because of how they identify with them, any new insights that the character would offer might be disregarded because the personal connection would overshadow how the character’s struggles are applicable to a group as whole. For example, in the case of John Grimes, a reader might identify with issues regarding his repressed sexuality and fail to let themselves experience how intimately connected his repression is to his religion and his culture. Furthermore, the reader must realize that this connection is the experience of a gay, black, teen and not just John Grimes.

Literature is also beneficial because, not only does it allow readers to learn new perspectives through experiences, it can present responses to philosophical pieces that already exist and provide new insight. For example, Thomas Mann’s Death in Venice can be seen as response to Plato’s theories on beauty and the pursuit of Good (White, 1990). Plato’s theory posits that erotic love generates passion, which can bring forth motivation and the pursuit of knowledge (White, 1990). White discusses Plato’s Charmides, and how Socrates was taken by the boy, Charmides, beauty. According to White, Plato’s writings suggest that it was Charmides’ beauty that brought forth Socrates’ discussion of temperance and that, although no conclusion on the meaning of temperance was made, Socrates’ reaches temperance by maintaining self-control. Death in Venice, White says, contradicts the idea of erotic love as a catalyst for pursuing knowledge. This novel is reminiscent of the socratic, from the romantic setting of Venice, to the relationship between Aschenbach and Tadzio, which resembles pederasty in ancient Greece (White, 1990). However, as Aschenbach finds himself entangled in this unspoken relationship with Tadzio, he does not seek knowledge. In fact, where he was once a writer who would often work himself into sickness, Aschenbach abandons his trade in favor of his obsession with Tadzio. White points out that Plato’s ideas on erotic love and the pursuit of good that Aschenbach uses as an excuse to keep his obsession going. Yet we are meant to see that Aschenbach’s relationship with Tadzio is not good, as he abandons his passion, puts his own life in danger, and risks Tadzio’s life because he fantasizes about the boy dying young and forever beautiful. More evidence of this lies in the imagery of the novel, and in particular the use of myth. Throughout the work, Aschenbach runs into multiple red-haired men. The first man leaves him feeling a desire to travel, the second man transports him in a Gondola, and the third who plays a guitar and stinks of bactericide. It could be that the red hair is representative of the devil, as with each red-haired man, Aschenbach is further lured toward his impending death. The first man draws him to Venice, the second brings him to Venice by gondola, and the third who hints at the outbreak. The gondolier is particularly interesting, as he may symbolize the ferryman of the underworld, taking Aschenbach across the river Styx. Then, by the time the third man comes and Aschenbach begins to learn about the outbreak, he has been completely seduced by Tadzio. He knows that his life is in danger, but he chooses to stay. Aschenbach is drawn toward his death, but it is ultimately his own choices that bring him there. His relationship with Tadzio leaves him disillusioned by his life, as he notes that it would not be possible for him to leave Venice and return to his life before this ordeal. In the end, erotic love did not lead Aschenbach toward a pursuit of knowledge. In opposition to Nietzsche's ideas, Aschenbach begins as a representation of the hard-working and rule-abiding Apollonian artist, and he ends his story after being seduced by the Dionysian to the point of excess (White, 1990). There is no middle point between the two, and Aschenbach’s journey certainly did not provide evidence for Plato’s idea of erotic love as fuel for the pursuit of higher knowledge.

Fiction can have flaws that philosophical pieces might not. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley (2012), for example, is a novel that illustrates the benefits and the pitfalls of literature working in the same way that philosophy does. While the novel provides insight into feminist theory, it is an example of how literature is subjective and how certain patterns may be disregarded when a reader does not allow himself to go through the process of becoming. Nabokov says that impersonal imagination should be used when reading literature, so that readers do not allow their own preconceptions to affect the message. In the case of Frankenstein, it is often read as a story about the dangers of playing God, and in assuming this is what Mary Shelley meant to say, one might fail to see the feminist undertones of the story. The birth of the monster in Frankenstein, and his tortured life after, could be seen as a criticism of the sciences, but there are other readings. Nancy Yousef (2002), for instance, holds that Frankenstein is a response to several philosophers, including Jean-Jacques Rousseau and his theory on man as a solitary animal. Yousef says that Shelley is critiquing this idea, which proposes that men come about on their own and might be solitary creatures if all of their needs were provided for. The monster is born alone, without the presence of a woman or any other human for that matter, and the result is not a man with human characteristics, but a monster (Yousef, 2002). It is not, however, solely a critique, as John Locke’s theory of man also comes into play, and he says that a solitary man will not evolve. Frankenstein seems to support this idea, and takes it perhaps a step further by noting that men who believe themselves to be solitary, for example Walton, who claims to have no friend and yet sends letters to his sister, are not in the same set of circumstances as the monster (Yousef, 2002). The monster has never had intimacy, in any form, and though he reads about human behavior and observes the Delacey family, he does not begin to assimilate into society. Instead, the monster begins to realize how different he is from human beings, and he seeks to gain intimacy when he has a conversation with the blind man. Still, the creature is rejected and Yousef says that it is not necessarily his appearance that makes him alone, but that he is different because he began his life as a fully formed man, without childhood or motherly affection. This perspective on Frankenstein, as Shelley’s commentary on the absence of the feminine and of man as being a solitary animal, can be forgotten in favor of the idea of Frankenstein as a novel about the dangers of playing God. This reveals how, despite the benefits of literature, there is a certain unavoidable flaw in how subjective the interpretations can be.

Literature is tool that can illuminate what to look for to explain how the world functions. It can be a response to an already existing philosophical theory, or it can be a commentary on some social pattern that the writer himself has seen or experienced. It performs the functions of philosophy by existing as an extended thought experiment, and revealing truths about the world. In fact, in some ways it can outperform philosophy, in that it allows readers to imagine a world free of third variables and it can allow people to have experiences that would be impossible in the real world. It also allows all people, even those who have experienced being a part of a certain minority group for example, to go through the process of becoming. It is the general experiences that matter, and what it means to be a woman, an animal, and so forth, rather than some specific thing. In becoming some general thing, one might begin to understand what it means to be that thing, and how different social patterns result in how that thing functions. Literature can also provide a new perspective on philosophical theories that exist, either providing evidence for the theory or against it. Pieces of fiction like Death in Venice show how Plato’s theories on erotic love and the pursuit of higher understanding do not always hold. Some criticisms of literature performing the functions of philosophy include its subjectivity and lack of empiricism, but philosophy itself is not without these flaws. After all, any commentary on how something functions is dependent on our perception of the thing and what we want it to do. Still, fiction is subject to the reader, and in order to gain any insight from a piece, the reader must go into the work without preconceptions and without projecting onto the piece. Yet philosophy itself has unavoidable flaws, such as the inability to test certain theories in the real world. Literature is not pure logic, but the world is not either. It can illuminate facts about the world that can’t be tested. This is why literature is not only useful as a philosophical tool, but invaluable. Just as scientists use thought experiments to know what hypotheses to form and test, philosophy must use literature to inform theories about how the world works.

References

Baldwin, J. (2013). Go tell it on the mountain. New York: Vintage International.

Chopin, K. (n.d.). The awakening. NY, NY: Avon Books, a division of the Hearst Corporation.

Clark, Z. (2008). The Bird that Came out of the Cage: A Foucauldian Feminist Approach to Kate Chopin's The Awakening. Journal for Cultural Research, 12(4), 335-347. doi:10.1080/14797580802553999

Deleuze, G., Smith, D., & Greco, M. (1997). Literature and Life. Critical Inquiry, 23(2), 225-230. Retrieved from http://www.jstor.org/stable/1343982

Elgin, C. Z. (2014). Fiction as Thought Experiment. Perspectives on Science, 22(2), 221-241. doi:10.1162/posc_a_00128

Mann, T. (1994). Death in Venice: A new translation, backgrounds and context critisism. New York: W.W. Northon & Company.

Nabokov, V. (n.d.). Good Readers and Good Writers. Lecture.

Nanay, B. (2013). Philosophy versus Literature? Against the Discontinuity Thesis. Journal Of Aesthetics And Art Criticism, 71(4), 349-360.

Shelley, M. W., & Hunter, J. P. (2012). Frankenstein: The 1818 text, contexts, criticism. New York: W.W. Norton &.

Wallace, D. F. (2010). The broom of the system. New York: Penguin Books.

White, R. (1990). Love, Beauty, and Death in Venice. Philosophy and Literature, 14(1), 53-64. doi:10.1353/phl.1990.0106

Yousef, N. (2002). The Monster in a Dark Room: Frankenstein, Feminism, and Philosophy. Modern Language Quarterly, 63(2), 197-226. doi:10.1215/00267929-63-2-197

[hricindiaconference2017-blog]

When children have children

Priyanka Idicula of BirthVillage writes to us about the abused, pregnant teenage girls at Tejus Home who receive care and give birth at BirthVillage under the care of highly sensitive midwives. BirthVillage is a sponsor of the upcoming Human Rights in Childbirth conference here in Mumbai.

When child abuse leads to child pregnancy

“I couldn’t call out as he had stuffed a towel in my mouth and pinned me down though my mother was in the yard.”-S. aged 14.

“He had a sickle in his hand while he approached me.”-R. aged 13.

“I will kill your mother and brother should you even whisper about this.”-T. aged 15.

In 2007, the Ministry of Women and Child Development (MWCD) released a study report on child abuse. The report discusses incidence of child abuse nationwide. It is estimated that 150 million girls and 73 million boys under 18 have been subjected to forced sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual violence. In 2002 there were 53,000 reported cases of child homicide.

Teen pregnancy in India has a different hue and colour than other countries as the majority of them are pregnant through violence and abuse as opposed to from a boy friend through choice. This often leaves physical mental and emotional scars on their young minds with the added burden of social stigma and abandonment by their families. They are often vulnerable and alone. Teenage pregnancies are on the rise in India possibly due to lack of comprehensive sex education and also through perpetrated violence on young children. Though hard to grapple with, child marriage continues to prevail in modern India with statistics putting it at a good 47% in India.

“My husband (aged 45) was a good man. He brought me chocolates, milk and fruits every day and compared to living in the streets it seemed to be a better life,” says this twelve year old.

The abusers are often well into their forties, fifties and even their sixties and most often come from within their families- fathers, step fathers, cousins and uncles or simply someone the child trusted. They would often play on the submissive nature of a child who often return favours for being a ‘good child’ or it would simply be repeated acts of violence for no rhyme or reason.

Busting myths 

One of the biggest myths that we understood during our various rounds with many medical practioners is the belief that young women below the age of 18 are incapable of birthing children vaginally. The most common reason stated, that the pelvis would be either be too small/contracted/or wouldn’t have developed enough.

We seem to have forgotten that most of our grandmothers from this part of the world have birthed our parents pretty much in their teens and have had large families too...

But, it became quite clear to us that after 4 years of running the Tejus home and caring for these young women, that if one girl can carry a child to term with a healthy pregnancy, then by all means the others deserve at least a good trial of labour- often to be met with nothing other than excellent outcomes. 

The other sad fact that came out in the open was the unkind treatment that was meted to these young girls during checkups at medical institutions with incessant questioning. It was like they would be raped verbally over and over again.

Priyanka Idicula, CPM, weighs a healthy baby born naturally from a 13 y/o girl in BirthVillage

Filling in the gap with love & sensitivity

Tejus Home opened through a chance encounter with a pregnant thirteen year old girl, Gayathri, placed at a destitute home whom we followed through pregnancy. Unfortunately these homes are often filled with women from streets, they would tell tales to young girls about horror stories of births. She was often filled with fear with mere mention of birth. She went into labour by 38 weeks only to have c section performed within 3 hours of entry to a medical institution. 

After meeting and followinf Gayathri, it became clear to us there was a definite need for:

A safe space for young pregnant teenagers which would offer good nutrition,

A space where they could laugh,

A space where they could nourish their babies,

A space where they could be free,

A space which they could call their home.

And that’s how Tejus Home was born in November 2012. It is named after Gayathri’s son, the first girl who was sheltered at the home. We work in collaboration with the child welfare committee and receive girls from all across the state. It is also mandatory that all girls would have registered FIR against the abuser.

A separate home which catered exclusively to pregnant teens did not exist in India at the time of the inception of the Home. Hence, we had no mentors or prototype to model our home on which lended us a fair share of challenges.

By virtue of running a birth centre we were also able to offer free medical care and midwifery led support for births for the girls.

They attended childbirth education classes that were tailored especially for them, keeping in mind their maturity, education level and social status and with strong emphasis on eating healthy and exercise. Theses girls went on to have very healthy pregnancies, healthy births and very healthy outcomes.

TEJUS HOME is a caring environment where abused, pregnant teenagers are given a safe and nurturing place to live; it is located in Kerala, India. It is a pilot project in partnership between two NGOs, Dil Se and Birth For Change and is recognized by the Child Welfare Committee.

Here is some of what we offer in the home:

Information and resources to help the girls make choices about their pregnancy, their baby and their future.

Counselling for the young mothers and for their family

Encouragement to continue education during pregnancy and after birth.

Free birth preparation and education classes

Free Individualized health care: prenatal, birth and postnatal care with a midwife

Sexual education

Life-skills training: self-confidence and self-esteem, assertiveness, finances, home management, gardening etc.

Baby born to a girl at the Tejus Home with the care of midwives.

A model of CARE for those who need special care

Often a simple vaginal exam can trigger the abuse that these children went through. Knowing this, throughout the entire pregnancy and birth, we strived hard to do without a single one. If absolutely required, we would do one, only if she consented. 

It has been often recounted to us at our clinic that many of these young girls have still been subjected to the Two-Finger test, [what is this?] despite the clear clamp down on this procedure by the Supreme Court of India. This degrading procedure, done on a cold table by a stranger in a white coat, does nothing but to relive her trauma again. 

Girls who come to the Home often tend to hide their pregnancies and have no one to confide in. They starve themselves during the initial months of the pregnancy by having just one meal a day, hoping that their bellies wouldn’t show. 

They are often silenced by their abuser with threats wielded against her and her loved ones. Afraid of revealing what happened, they continue to hide under over sized clothes until it is beyond limits to cover up until the pregnancy is brought to the fore by teachers and neighbours and sometimes by their own family members.

Social osctracization is very high for these girls. One of our girls recounted how the neighbourhood threw their entire family out, which included her mother who was mentally ill, her younger sister and brother, on to the streets despite the abuser being her own father.

On arrival to the home they do take a few days to settle down, they do go through a lot of ups and downs during these days, grappling with what happened in their life. But soon after they bond so well with the other girls at the home and form friendships that often last beyond their stay at the home.

Long consults with information, love and care transforms them tremendously and they blossom well.

They motivate each other when it comes to prepping up for labor. They try hard to eat their vegetables, easily climb up to 200 steps a day, walk for over an hour and very naturally committed to a natural labour default.

Meeting challenges with determination and support

One of the biggest challenges at the home would be how late in the pregnancy these girls come to us. On average, girls come when they are around 6 months pregnant and often barely weigh around 40 kilos.

Another battle would be anaemia. These girls often have be haemoglobin levels as low as 8g/dl. We even have had reports of young girls who have not eaten anything beyond rice, potato and beetroot during their entire childhood.

Both of the above mentioned state of affairs requires a lot of work, close monitoring and encouragement from our side to get them going, especially in the face of teen rebellions.

We have been amazed at the resilience and strength of the girls when labour starts at Tejus Home. They wait it out as long as possible, go about their daily tasks with the other girls often massaging their backs and placing hot water bags. As one girl put it, “I said felt like rolling on the floor- that’s when I decided it’s time for me to go to meet my Chechis.”

These young girls have often blown us away with their shining grit and strong nerves. Rarely do we hear them say they can’t do it or let alone struggled at all in active labour or when they were pushing their babies into the world.

What was needed the most was love, support and a good pair arms to hold them in their hour of need.

We can easily say that 100 percent of the girls who have birthed at BirthVillage have birthed with gravity, in the position of their choices either using the birth rope or on the birth stool or by simply squatting on the floor.

How far love, support and belief in the efficacy of birth goes- see for yourself

Updated Tejus Home statistics currently available from 2013:

80 percent of the girls had a natural birth

5 percent were transferred for assisted delivery

15 percent were transferred for c section 

(Reasons for transfer include: signs of preeclampsia and obstructed labour)

95 % of the babies born full term were above 2.5 kg

4% of the babies born passed away at three months owing to respiratory complications

80 % of them do go back to school within 6-12 weeks after having birthed their babies

The youngest girl to have had a natural birth from tejus home was 12, and the average age 15 years.

This 14 y/o received exceptionally sensitive care from midwives and gave birth naturally to a healthy baby

When birth heals

An empowering birth experience strengthens these young girls and offers them courage and hope for their lives ahead. As one of the girls put it, “A window of calm in the most trying period of their lives.”

Another remarkable common feature we observe at the Tejus Home is that after the birth, they often fall into a deep slumber for a good couple of hours as if a big weight has been lifted off their shoulders.

A good 97% of them do give up babies for adoption and as midwives it is one of the hardest things to do when the girl requests the baby not to be shown after birth or when she weeps inconsolably when she gives up her child for adoption. We have been humble witnesses as a few of them cradle their child, stroke them and even feed them even if it’s for one night.

We were also blessed as we have had quite of few of our staff who were nursing mothers themselves who offer skin to skin and have breastfed many of these babies. In addition, many of the BirthVillage mothers offer pumped milk.

Postnatal time is an equally valuable time at Tejus. The girls have to process, once again, the grief and heal both mentally and physically. They often request pictures of their babies. They draw, paint or write their emotions down in diaries and create keepsakes and often take a piece of us when it’s time to say goodbye to us, albeit to a bright future forward.

We are equally proud to say that some of our girls are currently A plus grade students at school/college and continue to win laurels, and other girls who continue shine at their vocational training.

Priyanka Idicula is certified professional midwife (U.S.A.) and is Lamaze certified childbirth educator. She is currently the director of BirthVillage, The Natural Birthing Centre in Kochin, Kerala and is the managing trustee for Birth for Change (NGO). She also carries with her bachelors and masters in microbiology and has had long stints with various MNC, the last being Johnson and Johnson where she worked as regional head for application support in the diagnostic division. She strongly advocates for evidence based maternity care and works for rights for women who are from the underprivileged sections of society.

Visit BirthVillage on the web or Facebook.

Checkout Tejus Home on Facebook and watch this beautiful short film.

Also see what Birth for Change has going on on Facebook!

Come get involved at the Human Rights in Childbirth Conference in Mumbai, India!!

Sign this petition to make it mandatory that Indian hospitals declare their c-section rates!

Check out Human Rights in Childbirth on Facebook.

Ask questions, find support and information at Birth India’s Facebook Support Group.

[lucyariablog]

3 Brands Driving Change With Social Video

Cause marketing can be a tough sell. You need to tell a story that compels the audience to take action, while resisting the pitfalls of coming across as desperate or preaching. The medium can make a big difference.

Unlike static images or text, video gives cause marketers the sensory tools to tell the type of rich, moving story that delivers important information while conjuring necessary emotion. To be successful, cause-related content needs to be sufficiently informative so viewers understand the cause, as well as appropriately digestible so they find it easy and enjoyable to share with others. It also has to be timely so it can be part of a larger conversation happening around the cause. Like any video, it needs to grab the viewers’ attention in 3 to 10 seconds to stop them from scrolling past. And it needs to be relatable and relevant to your audience so they are inclined to engage with you.

#Video gives marketers the sensory tools to tell rich, moving stories that conjure emotion, says @CyndiC02. Click To Tweet

All that sounds like a tall order, but best practices can help marketers check all those boxes when approaching cause-marketing content. I’ve taken a closer look below at a few brands that got it right: Rescue Chocolate (self-disclosure: an Animoto customer), Girls Who Code, and UPS.

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Rescue Chocolate takes a stand against Montreal’s pit-bull ban

Brooklyn-based Rescue Chocolate donates 100% of its net profits from the company’s organic chocolate sales to animal rescue organizations around the country.

Last September, Montreal’s city council passed a bill severely restricting pit-bull ownership and adoption that would have led to an increase in pit bulls in city shelters being euthanized. As the decision became international news overnight, Rescue Chocolate posted a video to its Facebook page to take a stand against the law with a link to a Change.org petition. Over 360,000 views, nearly 10,000 shares, and 500-plus comments later — this small business played an integral role in raising international awareness. The SPCA of Montreal filed suit to stop the law.

Why did the video work? It was:

Timely – The video gets posted one day after the Montreal bill was passed. Rescue Chocolate responds quickly to a story as it was trending, inserting themselves into breaking news in an organic way.

Short – At just 30 seconds, the video gets the message across without fuss by putting the dogs front-and-center from the beginning.

Simple – It uses a short video clip accompanied by a mix of original and stock images. An emotional, instrumental score adds gravity to the imagery. The law’s consequences are outlined in short, pointed blocks of text that don’t overwhelm the images. Including the text compels viewers to engage with the video even if their social feed is on silent auto-play.

Scrappy – Rescue Chocolate demonstrates another important lesson — at times fast is better than perfect. It created the video in-house rather than outsourcing the project and missing the critical timeliness that this topic called for.

Be scrappy with #video – sometimes fast is better than perfect, says @CyndiC02. Click To Tweet

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Girls Who Code sends a message with humor and heart

Girls Who Code is a national nonprofit organization dedicated to closing the gender gap in technology. Between the ages of 6 and 12, girls represent 66% of students interested in and/or enrolled in computing courses. But between the ages of 13 and 17, girls only represent 33% of students interested in computing courses.

This past summer, Girls Who Code created a video with a simple concept — ridicule the ridiculous by having young women sarcastically adopting sexist rhetoric to explain why they couldn’t code. The video went viral, amassing nearly a half-million views on YouTube and garnering media coverage in national publications.

How did they do it?

It is funny without losing the integrity of the cause. This video deploys humor and sarcasm in a way that is not only effective, but also true to the larger brand of Girls Who Code. Humor is an incredibly powerful tool if it happens organically. For example, humor would have been completely off-putting in the Rescue Chocolate pit-bull video. Find a proper tone to fit your topic and brand, and you’ll be on your way to creating better content and driving higher engagement.

Find a tone to fit your topic & brand, & you’ll be on your way to creating better #content. @CyndiC02 Click To Tweet

It doesn’t include a song. In the other two videos mentioned in this article, instrumental songs — one somber, one upbeat — underscore the mood. Girls Who Code opted to punctuate scenes with a musical track that comes in and out and plunks along to the phrases of the girls speaking, adding drama to their dry sarcasm.

It speaks directly to the audience. It may seem obvious, but the teens in this video are the reason the message is authentic and resonates with the audience Girls Who Code is trying to reach.

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UPS and Northwest Battle Buddies share the story of a man and his dog

UPS partnered with Northwest Battle Buddies, a nonprofit that rehabilitates shelter dogs to be service animals for U.S. veterans suffering with post-traumatic stress disorder as part of the package delivery company’s annual #WishesDelivered initiative.

In the 2-minute, 41-second video, they were able to use the organic moments shared between veterans and their new dogs to promote the cause. The video tells the story of Art Nelson, a veteran suffering from PTSD, and the joy he found in receiving his service dog, Trigger, who he calls a “godsend.” It walks the viewer through Art’s story and the work of Northwest Battle Buddies, and ends with the surprise — delivery of a new, UPS-funded service dog to a veterans’ support group.

What’s happening to encourage this strong emotional response? The creators chose to:

Tell one complete, personal story. Focusing on one veteran and his experience returning home, the video informs viewers on the mission of the organization. Not only straightforward, the video’s message is easy for people to get behind and they feel good passing it along to others.

Create a straightforward #video message that’s easy for people to feel good sharing w/ others, says @CyndiC02. Click To Tweet

Keep community top of mind. This video taps into a close community predisposed to share this story — veterans and their families.

Use the power of real people. Having a veteran who has encountered the challenges addressed by the nonprofit and who has experienced the benefits it offers lends credibility to the story. A person sharing his or her real experience in a powerfully personal medium like video almost always creates a stronger emotional response.

A person sharing her experience in #video almost always creates a stronger response, says @CyndiC02. Click To Tweet

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Conclusion

As UPS, Northwest Buddies, Rescue Chocolate, and Girls Who Code show us, the power of video can be gained without spending a lot of money or taking a lot of time. These examples illustrate that the keys to a successful video, particularly for cause-related marketing, are that it’s:

Sufficiently informative for viewers to understand

Digestible for viewers to easily enjoy and share

Timely enough to be part of a larger conversation

Attention-grabbing in the first few seconds

Relatable (and resonates) with viewers

Those lessons are invaluable for anyone who wants to harness the benefits of video in their content marketing programs.

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Want to grow your video and other technology skills? Register today for the (free) virtual ContentTECH event on February 22, 2017.

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