#but also sometimes you struggle so fucking much with shadows and lighting that you just

[ahollowgrave]

Day 27: Snow

A small painting tucked into a worn album of similar paintings. The cover of the album is worn leather made shiny by many hands over the years.

All of the paintings are of the convent's errant daughter through the years. The most recent a sledding scene with her karakul companion and those moths.

Tucked at the back of the book is a bundle of letters. Each from Odette, each detailing one of the painted adventures.

[versipellesh]

whistle in the dark || b. mears.

series concept drabble

summary: nature always has a way seeking to balance herself out, when a vampiric outbreak clouds a small town she sends a fur covered blessing

note: so at the moment this is stand alone and just a need for me to get concept out of my head,, im a big all things werewolf (it's my tism interest) but a ben mears x werewolf!reader fic // i wrote this to blood upon the snow by hozier because it's a vibe. also no beta reader, i just went apeshit with this

word count: 1278

The unsteady creak of the old stairs of the house echoed in the unfinished basement. Ben’s footsteps were a bit unsteady, the eerily silence that had been turned into the sound of flesh being torn into filled the cellar as he continued downwards. He had left Mark at the top of the stairs, the upper part of the house had been torn to hell and back. It was clear a struggle had taken place, blood spattering floors and walls was the first tell to them that they had gotten to you. But the sudden chunks or patches of what looked like skin coated in a slimy substance paired with claw marks that almost looked like a bear that followed a trail of blood and wet epidermis painted a far more concerning picture.

The flashlight in his hand shook slightly, the faded light barely illuminating the basement that’s only other source of light was from the small basement windows. Golden hues had been slipping in casting long shadows over the walls and shelving. There wasn’t much that seemed to be stored away, boxes that hadn’t been touched in sometime that were left to be claimed to be dust of time. He had been down here once with you when he had stopped by, it was far more organized then. Whatever struggle had occurred upstairs looked like it had gotten worse down in the cold basement. Boxes were strewn and memories scattered about, blood painting sections and metal shelves bent and snapped in ways they should have been.

Ben almost stumbled on the last step, his boot slipping on a particular slick part. It was a mixture of blood, membrane and skin like something had almost shed. “Fuck.” Was the only word that had left his lips the moment he almost ate it, his free hand reaching out to steady on the railing but was only met with the sticky residue of blood. His hand recoiled, blue eyes glancing at the dark red stain on his skin. He could feel the bile raise in the back of his throat but he pushed it down. He haphazardly wiped it on his jeans as he did his best to step out of the bio-hazard of a mess at the bottom of the stairs.

His flashlight scanned the wide and mess torn space. The sounds had gotten louder now he was down there. He didn’t know exactly what it sounded like but there was that sickly sound of flesh being torn from thew. It did nothing to settle the pit in his stomach as the sounds of something growling and grunting followed the sounds of flesh being torn away for whatever had been the poor creature to be attacked. He swallowed quietly, almost jumping out of his skin when he heard Mark whisper yell down the stairs.

“Is she here?” The boy asked.

Ben’s blue eyes flickered to the basement then back up the stairs at Mark. He wasn’t sure what to say, he knew he couldn’t lie to the boy. He was smart and probably would have figured it out if he had said no.

“I’m not sure. Just stay up there.” Ben told him. He watched as the boy nodded, pushing his glasses up his face as Mark settled to sit at the top of the stairs.

Ben re-centered himself as he flicked the flashlight around. He felt a sense of dread boil in his system as he made his way through the carnage that covered the basement. He wasn’t sure if it was the anxiety that you weren’t alive and one of those bastards had gotten to you but it felt different. Like staring into the unknown and seeing the void blink back at you. The writer moved quietly through the broken and shoved over shelves, the warm light of the flashlight flickering over the steel bars of the shelves. He could see bits of skin caught on areas, blood was painted about like some gothic picture and then the clothing. He had stopped halfway when he had caught sight of that flannel shirt that he had often seen you wear over thinner t-shirts.

It was tattered and blood soaked, some of the fleshy membrane clung to it. The bloody slim touched his skin and he stumbled back. It was still warm yet so foreign. In the process of stumbling back, his long legs tripped over one of the toppled shelves and his world was suddenly tipping to the side. He didn’t have much time to brace himself as he hit the cold concrete floor. He cracked his head against it and the world blurred for a moment. Everything became dizzy for a moment as pain flooded his body. Ben let out a groan as he slowly flipped himself around. His large hand met the warm substance. It took a brief moment for him to realize what it was, the tangy smell of blood assaulting his senses.

A primal fear flooded his body as he began to shake. The sounds of something eating were crystal clear now and so were those animal-like noises. As his vision focused again, what he had been expecting was to see your lifeless corpse being drained of your blood, blank eyes staring back at him and that the blood he had touched was yours. But it wasn’t, it wasn’t even close to what he had been thinking to see.

There was a body, it was definitely someone from the Lot that had turned. Pale skin that was stained with crimson and bloodshot eyes wide in horror. Their chest cavity had been torn straight through and their head was barely attached at the spine. It was the thing that was hunched over the body that he wasn’t sure what he was looking at. He couldn’t call it human, elongated limbs that ended in long paws and a wiry body as a blood streaked maw ripped into the chest of the vampire. The fur was the color of your hair, most of it was semi long until it got to the head of the beast where it came down in drapes covering half lidded eyes as the beast partook in its kill. A short tail long loosely as the beast was crouched, a large human yet canine-like paw held the body down as it ripped at the viscera of the corpse.

The flashlight had fallen out of his hand and it had seemingly been knocked loose somewhere as it was off before it had started flickering. The dim light caught the eyes of the beast, those eyes that were all to human like but also animal at once widened and the beast stopped. Ben’s icy hues caught the beast's stuffy moment of staring each other down filled the room. The beast made a low growl as it lifted its maw, slick with blood and meat as it stood up. It was almost the size of a horse, muscles ripping and the remains of clothing still clung to its form. The only indication that it was you was that charm that you always wore around your necklace, a worn bronze pendant that now seemed to be more a collar than a necklace.

It was at that moment the chilling realization hit Ben. If vampires existed then surely other things had too, it was hard to swallow the first truth but it was another to realize that what he was seeing in front of him was another creature of legend.

A werewolf.

All he seemed to understand was two things, that it was you and that what you were seemed to be something natural that could fend off a bloodsucker.

tags: @delopsia @lewmagoo @rhettmotel

[dutifullynuttywitch]

Incorrect quotes

@trappedinfanfiction quotes were so great - I had to try 😂

Incorrect quotes generator if you want to try!

Blades of light and shadow

Tyril: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know.

Mal: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.

Imtura: Yes! You are so attractive right now.

Tyril: Stop.

******

MC: What is it called when you kill a friend?

Tyril: Homicide.

Nia: Murder.

Mal: Homiecide.

******

Mal: That sounds super! Doesn’t that sound super, Tyril?

Tyril: No.

Mal: I think I speak for Tyril when I say it sounds really super.

Wake the Dead

Troy: When will Ted himself...finally show up to the talk?

Angel: The final boss.

Shannon: You guys know TEDtalks stands for technology, entertainment, and design talks, right?

Troy: I will not let Ted hide behind these lies any longer!

******

Angel: The only thing I'm guilty of is being adorable... ...and also assault with a deadly weapon.

******

MC: Angel, Troy, I love y’all and all, but can I ask what in the hell are you doing?

Angel, trying to stabilize a tower of folding chairs that Troy is sitting atop: Oh nothing much.

Troy: I love you too :)

Heaven's Secret

Lucifer: “Struggle with depression” would seem to imply that I am bad at being depressed when I am, in fact, very proficient at being depressed.

******

Dino: If I had a face like yours, I'd put it on a wall and throw a brick at it.

Lucifer: If I had a face like YOURS, I'd put it on a brick and throw a wall at it.

******

Lucifer: This is horrible.

Mimi: Yeah, I know, I mean look at today’s news.

Lucifer: No, it’s not that, it’s Vicky.

Mimi: ...

Lucifer: It’s just like, I can’t get her out of my head and every time I look at her I have this pain in my chest, and I just know it’s her fault, that bitch!

******

Mimi: Truth or dare?

Vicky: Dare.

Mimi: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room.

Vicky: Hey Lucifer?

Lucifer, blushing: Yeah?

Vicky: Can you move? I'm trying to get to Dino.

******

Dino: I'm so happy, I could kiss you!

Mimi: Um...Neat.

*later*

Mimi, lying face down on the bed: I said "Neat," Luci. Who the fuck says neat these days? It's not neat to say neat but I said it anyways because I'm fucking stupid.

Lucifer, reading a book: Don't beat yourself up too much, Mimi. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what I did when Vicky confessed her love for me?

Mimi: Didn't you thank her?

Lucifer: *closes the book and looks at the ceiling* I fucking thanked her.

[sadistic-kiss]

🐺House of Alphas Chapter 53: Let There Be Light🐺

(Jujutsu Kaisen Omegaverse )

Summary: Waking up in a world that was not your own was problematic enough. Being the villainess was another. However, the possessive alphas might take the cake.

Disclaimer: Angsty but I ain’t Gege

Omega!Reader x Alpha!Sukuna x Alpha!Gojo x Alpha!Toji x Alpha!Nanami x Alpha!Getou

~

…

Shadow Curses.

When you fight them, an ominous tune begins to play. A grueling symphony that has you both fearful for your group and perplexed by the daunting harmony.

Shadow curses were more aggressive and stronger than the others. The regular curse spirits were simple mobs that you killed. Some of them range from different strengths and levels depending on where you are, but for the most part, they were just dirt off your shoulder. Sometimes you tried to run or avoid them because you didn’t want to deal with them.

There were also of course the curse bosses such as Jogo, Hanami, Dagon, Mahito, and Rika, but those were bosses.

Shadow curses were like the updated trash mobs you fight when you are getting to the more difficult part of the game. You try to avoid them just because you don’t want to use too many supplies and they are trickier to fight. More of an annoyance, until you learn Divine light. Then it’s easier.

You first come into contact with them one random blood moon and after that, it continues to persist throughout the game. You meet Priestest Utahime who helps you strengthen your light magic and teaches you the special move Divine light.

One thing that you are learning now is that shadow creatures consume dark magic to get their strength. You thought all of its power derived from Kenjaku or the blood moon. Now you realize this fight here is what gives it to them. The witches’ home is their feasting grounds. You could feel the abundance amount of energy flowing through the floors alone. The energy that courses through this place is insane. If you don’t do something…the monsters will get stronger and much too powerful for even you to handle. If that happens they will consume your pack. It was like a ticking time bomb. Your curse energy was the timer. Once that runs out…

Fuckity fuck- you rubbed at your throat, your voice growing hoarse from all the screaming. Your alphas still persisted as you began to drown in uncertainty.

One episode down and you are already dealing with high-level mobs. You thought all of this was going to be a cakewalk, you planned so carefully but you keep coming into contact with shit you shouldn’t be fighting so soon. Your light magic isn’t anywhere where it needs to be. You mainly used it to heal not fight. You didn’t think you would require it till later.

“It’ll be okay, don’t stress out.” Toji rubbed your back gently, sensing your discomfort.

“We will keep you safe.” Nanami added.

“I’m going to attack the barrier, there’s only so much it can handle, step back.” Sukuna rolled his shoulders as he took his true form, ready to charge.

That was a silly idea. “No Sukuna, you could hurt yourself.”

“That’s why I have you to heal me back up.” Sukuna got in a crouch, as the others pulled you aside to safety.

“Can we just wait a minute-“

“There’s no time-“

“We can take turns too if need be “

*BAM!*

There was a loud slam, followed by scuffing and shuffling as if someone was dragging themselves along the wall. Your eyes darted to Mai who struggles to get to you, a deep scowl on her face as she bores you with the most scornful expression. Her body looks bloodied and abused. Like she had a wild dance with rocks.

“You!” She hissed holding her gun up. “How are you doing this!?”

“It’s not us!” Gojo scoffed.

“Let me-“You put a hand upon Satoru and gave a look to your alphas before you rested your gaze on the beta. “Mai… those creatures are of the shadow realm, your magic can’t kill them and the witches are only feeding them, making them stronger.” You hold up your hand as it shines with white light, “I can fend them off Mai please-“

“This is a trick! To let you out!” Mai thrust her gun forward making your alphas growl and try to stand between you and a possible bullet.

You push them aside, “Mai! My betas are out there! I would do nothing to harm them! Do you understand?! And Nobara-Maki- and Todo! They are my friends! I don’t want to see any of them get hurt! You have to believe me!”

Mai’s hand trembled and you heard more screams- and then it was silenced with a loud crunch. That was another life… gone… you choked on a sob, “Mai! They can’t defend themselves! Please! There’s no time for this!”

“You’re lying!”

“I-it’s not me! If you don't let me out, they will all die fuck-“ You duck down to grab a sharp rock.

“What are you doing-“

You didn’t allow your alphas to stop you as cut your hand. Thrusting it out you offered it to Mai, “I will make a blood oath with my life-“

“The hell you will!” You gasped feeling Nanami snatch your wrist back, you didn’t mean to activate yandere Nanami but here you are, “Do you know what a blood oath is little girl?” He growled out rather upset with you. Your other alphas looked to share his sentiment.

A blood oath was more than a pinky promise. Think of it like a contract you cannot rip up. By the laws of nature, you will be held accountable.

“I-I don’t know what else to do!” You whined.

“I’ll make the blood oath.” Getou took the rock from you.

“No, me!” Gojo stepped forward.

“Enough!” Mai shouted at you all. “Just…just save them please…” She slid down the wall and with one last ounce of strength she tossed the key toward you.

Sukuna caught it with ease, turning it inward as he unlocked the gate.

“Don’t you ever do something so reckless again.” Nanami gave you a pointed look, not letting you go until you agreed.

“Yes sir…I’m sorry.” Pleased with your answer he released you. You stepped out and then pointed to Mai, “Can one of you carry her, I’m going to need to save as much of my light magic as possible.”

Sukuna shook his head, “She will slow us down.”

“Yes, we will remember her noble sacrifice.” Gojo saluted, “Thank you, Megan.”

You rolled your eyes, “Someone pick her up and let’s go!”

...

~

*Read More*

[shatterthefragments]

FUCK I AAID ID TRY TO TAKE MY BREAK TOMORROW EARLIER SO I COULD ATTEND A zoom COMMITTEE MEETINH 😭

I could use the extra money (especially with at least one more concert… at least one is potentially local and I can just drive there) but I also semi rely on that mid workday tumblr scrolling to get me through it rn. (Guess we’ll see if I can even leave when I want. It was an hour later than I wanted today)

Like the two girls who work sometimes together there. Like. It’s been at least a month or so now I think. Probably 3 months bc of the training benchmark thing that they had to do today instead of working. Straight up if I didn’t have a second person in I would’ve fully just broken down today. But uh. They still fully need to do a full day to shadow a clerk and then a full day where they’re supervised. I am not trained as a clerk. I am serving as their knowledge to do their jobs. I used to feel ambivalent towards my birth name but I hate it right now. The “xx” before I need to leave everything and go help them. Just fills me with dread.

And I’m okay with a bit of a language barrier -they can still communicate. But they shouldn’t necessarily need to ask me everything still. I am positive they can check a deck for a box labeled “waffles” without me needing to hold their hand through it. And they shouldn’t need me to Leave My Task to come help them ESPECIALLY when I’m with someone else (the customer complained about me :P and the store manager let me know after he left. Anyway if I have to do the “add it to the list of things to do for sure” that I’m writing in OT and that he said I should do it before I leave bc fuck even today I ended up staying late)

ALSO fuck customers who only want stuff fresh from this very day or fresh from the freezer and DONT PUT A SPECIAL ORDER IN and just request it whenever they come in. Every time. (Sometimes. The answer is no. I don’t have it cut up and available)

Would it help if I cried in front of you when I tell you that I don’t have any available right now?

Torn between catharsis and FUCK if I’m going to cry (at least mostly) because of work then I should at least be paid for it.

…I haven’t cried at (this) work since the last time I was yelled at by a coworker. (All previous times crying at this workplace were because she yelled at me) (I was almost crying. I almost went into the Cooler to have a cry)

Not to make light of it all but I’m like. One more bad Monday with those two away from a hospital stay. (I can’t bc the hospitals here are famously bad for mental health) (I have an appt and a meeting after next week’s Monday)

But like. Can’t sully any of my crafting and leather knives. (They’re very nice and I want to collect more - prettier too would be nice) but seeing the knives at work and knowing they’re freshly sharpened. It’s just. WILL YOU HEAR ME NOW?! I am screaming. I admitted OUT LOUD that I am struggling on Mondays right now. Can’t have any more wounds to heal. I have to keep my skin unbroken so I can get more tattoos. It’ll be so much harder to stop if I start. Bc the URGENCY in the urge is so fucking strong. It didn’t help when I did last but maybe it would now hit I can’t I can’t I can’t

And I’ll be really sad if what I suspect are a TON of new moles (…or maybe freckles??) are cancerous 1) I hate checking them I can’t remember and I don’t have the organization to photograph and monitor each one 2) I’d have to get the tattoos I booked somewhere else and I’m not sure if I’d go for my upper left arm or my upper front thigh area. (If you’re actually reading this I am taking input on this in case) 3) I don’t want cancer, and it would break my parents’ hearts 4) I don’t want to die (despite the Desperation telling me I do)

Im splintering. Im fragmented. And I KNOW that a large part of it is how tired and exhausted I’ve been. I AM going to bed relatively soon.

I want to get high and forget

Weed’s legal it’s probably fine

(Im still paranoid it’ll cause a psychotic break and I’m already so frequently disconnected dissociated and in such a state of unreality it’s terrifying to me. Because when they taught us about psychosis I related very heavily to a lot of it and I’m scared to admit it. I think I’m okay. It would’ve been a lot to be 15+ years deep so far and nobody noticing nobody being concerned I think I’m okay I just need to get back on the ocean. It will heal me.)

I want to not be in pain

I want to externalize some of it

I want SOME FUCKING HELP. (If I just ask I could. Allegedly. Get a referral and coverage for some therapy) but I’m okay I always am. I’ve survived 100% of my worst days and all that :P but uh. A clerk to help those two ACTUALLY FUCKING LEARN (as if they’d listen) would be Huge.

(But if I were to do edibles with a friend I trust her. I trust she’d know what to do.)

Fuck I don’t even feel like sadsturbating. I mean (I don’t like to use lube so) I already sorta went too long the other day(s) and bled a little so I shouldn’t anyway.

1000% down for someone to knead my ass until it bruises while we snuggle though.

…I just ran my retainer cleaner without my retainer inside of it… and then forgot to put it in. It’s in now. I flossed while it actually got cleaned. Which is good. But fuuuck.

“Diagnosed with a sinus infection” with Covid symptoms… I don’t want her to come back to work tomorrow (I would rather be down a person),,,

[talaofthevalley]

Vibe check for borderline crack but also kinda serious AU where Baldr somehow finds himself heart freeloading in Riku years after his death, and now Riku has a keyblade wielder with a body count hanging around over the events of the mainline games. Baldr haunting the narative figuratively AND literally.

Extra features such as Riku and Baldr having extra strong light in them because to quote the intro to KH1 "the closer you get to light the greater your shadow becomes" but much like how negative times can easily overtake positive ones, it's not easily noticeable.

Featuring events such as:

Hanging around Destiny Islands as an incorporeal ghost that can barely interact with Riku but spending most of his time sleeping or at ease kinda does wonders for all those repressed emotions and trauma.

Adults think Riku has an imaginary friend. Riku was halfway convinced he was being haunted thanks to Baldr's white hair, eyes and lashes.

Baldr gets attached. Just a little bit.

Watching Riku struggle with his inner darkness and feeling abandoned in KH1 hits a little too close for comfort for Baldr, but hey, he knows from experience that anyone's voice would be preferable to the darkness.

Baldr clocking Xehanort almost immediately and going what the fuck. What the hell are you doing. Bastard what happened to you after all these years. Finds out Xehanort's trying to create Kingdom Hearts and is all OH so when *I* try to do it, you kill me, but if it's you, it's totally fine? I hope the kid beats your ass.

Baldr popping in as a voice in the climax and giving Ansem Seeker of Darkness a crisis before he dies, which he didn't quite *mean* to but he can still read emotions as a heart ghost. Feels kinda good he's not gonna lie.

Riku eventually grows taller than Baldr and he feels slighted. Offended. You're supposed to be a pipsqueak stop that.

Riku instead of turning into Ansem SoD in KH2 takes on the form of Baldr from connecting with his own darkness and, by proxy, Baldr. Instead of getting taller he gets shorter.

Cue Baldr weighing the pros and cons of Riku revealing his new form in front of Xemnas like- Cons: The possible rise of danger my heart innkeeper will be in. Pros: Chaos.

Sora squinting at Baldr!Riku until he screams and points like "YOU'RE THE GUY! FROM RIKU'S DRAWINGS! THE GHOST!" and Kairi doesn't get it until Sora reminds her of the guy Riku sometimes talked about when they were kids and drew pictures of and then SHE'S pointing like !??!!?! and Riku's like uuuuhhhh I can explain but it'll take a while.

"You know Xehanort? Why didn't you say anything??" "Yeah he was my classmate. And then he executed me after I killed the others in our class. And some of our upperclassmen. It's not the best conversation opener."

Riku becoming understandably distressed once he finds out how exactly Baldr died and the lead-up to his breakdown. Has to go talk to Mickey and be reassured that if Riku ever loses his way in the darkness again, they'll pull him right out no matter how many times it takes.

Baldr tries very, very hard not to be bitter.

"My feelings about my friends, sister and place of birth are complicated on the best of days, but I'm glad you don't have to live with the suffocating guilt and anxiety that there's something inherently wrong with you for having even a sliver more darkness in you than what's considered acceptable and worrying your loved ones will put you down if they find out. I'm glad you have people who understand you, and who try to understand you."

"Do you ever wish you could meet your sister again?" "I'm content mourning her."

The state of Sora, Riku and Kairi's friendship and complicated feelings about each other is almost enough to give Baldr an aneurysm when he feels them.

The fun of DDD where Baldr can take a solid form inside the dream realm and meets young Xehanort when his death is still fresh in his mind :^ )

Baldr, finding out about what happened with Eraqus and his apprentices; "Goddamnit Eraqus."

Someone telling Riku to follow his heart and he goes "Are you asking me to kill?"

Baldr; The number one guy who can get under Xehanort's skin and tear down his 'specialest guy' mindset, and only partly because his emotions are an open book to him. Takes a look at adult versions of him and goes "Oh I want to bully him so bad, it'd be so easy." Xehanort; Has spent the last decades researching darkness because of Baldr, while also pointedly not thinking about Baldr, that Baldr killed their friends, or that Xehanort killed him.

Why is Baldr in Riku? Eeeh, unsure. Mayhaps the kids were all meant to go to Quadratum after they died but Baldr went "nope" and drifted around instead until Riku was born and his heart went "oh twinsies". Maybe his classmates have been looking for him, after time has passed to think and reflect yet there's still been no sign of him.

And since I'm a sucker for happy endings all the DR kids reunite in Quadratum and Xehanort and Baldr can now kick each other's ankles and be the kind of pair that would be unbelievably toxic where they different people but it somehow works. Being able to read your partner's emotions would be very one-sided in any situation except where they can read yours right back.

[kharonion]

ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴡᴇʀᴇ

Warnings: Mentions of grief (specifically, grief dreaming)

“C’mon, V. Want to show you around.”

He recognizes this place from the rockerboy’s memories. Atlantis. Only this time, he’s not in Johnny’s likeness… no, no, he’s here. And Johnny’s chatting with him like they’d been chooms for years. Hell, he even shares a drink with the man. It all feels… so real.

“I want to thank you, V. For everything… but especially for this. For giving me… peace, I guess. Feels fuckin’ weird. But, it’s also pretty fuckin’ good.”

“You deserve it, you know. Much as you want to believe you don’t.”

Johnny laughs, and it’s contagious. “Wanted to. Past tense. You’ve taught me a lot, V… but that’s gotta be the most important one. Wish I could repay you—”

“Oh, shut up, J. You’ve done more than enough. I wouldn’t be here without you—and I mean that.”

“Well, fuck. Cheers to that, you grumpy bastard.”

They sit. They drink. They talk, laugh, joke. 

And then, he wakes up. Drenched in a cold sweat, his head fucking pounding.

He sighs. Sinks his head back into the wall of plush pillows, rubs his face with his hands. The soft snoring beside him is grounding. He’s trying to mend his cracking composure because fuck, every time he wakes from these dreams, the loneliness eats at the fiber of his being.

Vikt trudges to the bathroom, habitually popping open his handful of medication bottles and downing them. The cold water soothes his burning throat, feels good as he washes his face. And there he stays, hands clenching the vanity’s edge, chin tucked to his chest.

Still, he haunts him. 

Still. 

He starts to shake. Fuck.

He misses him. Misses those stupid quips, that irritatingly cheeky smirk… and strangely, the rockerboy’s company, invasive as he could be sometimes. 

Misses the man who quickly became the only family Vikt’s ever had.

A light drip begins hitting the sink, though the faucet has since been turned off. His throat tightens, throbs. Struggling to contain the sobs lodged there, and he can’t swallow them down. They escape. Echo against the linoleum walls. They’re loud, pained, stricken with grief. 

Still, he’s gone. 

And yet, he can’t leave.

“Babe,” a rasping voice, fatigued and concerned, drawls from the doorway. That familiar, warm presence presses right against his back, gentle hands snaking around to rest over his heart—his heart that hurts…

“Do you… still see him sometimes?”

Gently, lips meet the notch between his shoulder blades. “Yeah. Mostly reminiscing on the old days, y’know?” He trails off. The way he always does when his thoughts toe into the shadows, before he quickly recovers his path. “Same dream?”

“Yeah. Same one.” Vikt sighs, tries to wipe the grogginess from his eyes. “Fuck, Ker, it just… always feels so real. He takes me there, and he talks to me like I’m there. It’s like he’s… like he’s not actually gone. He fucking thanks me… and then I always wake up feeling… devastated, almost…”

Kerry hums. He understands. “My guru always told me it was grief dreams. Said they usually happen when your brain hasn’t processed the loss… or somethin’ like that. I had them for a while… after, y’know…”

“They ever go away?”

“No,” Kerry whispers, kissing the spot again, “but it does get easier. I promise, babe.”

[slushglow]

leosagi wip that i'm scrapping

// injury, blood

“Yeah.” Yuichi rasps, “Bleed out all the time.”

Leo's heart feels like it's about to drop out of his chest and straight through his feet, the words bleed out enough to send ice crawling up and down his spine.

“Fuck.” He whispers, quiet and miserable, “Don't say that. You're–” He pauses, frantically tries to get his bearings as his eyes adjust to the darkness of the hole they've found themselves in, “You're gonna be fine. Okay? Just shut up. Stop talking.” He demands.

Yuichi huffs, and Leo realizes with a creak in his ribs that it's supposed to be something like a laugh, as weak and reedy as it is.

“You first.” Yuichi murmurs, choked and dry. There's blood between his teeth. Leo’s heart pangs so violently it physically hurts, and he fiercely grips one of Yuichi’s hands between his own.

The silence is deafening.

Think. Fucking think. You're supposed to be better than this. Leo seethes to himself, uselessness like a heavy coat over his shoulders, bearing down with a weight he can't overcome. His leg twinges as he moves and all it does is make him livid.

Stupid, stupid, shitty fucking leg. You're so fucking stupid, Leo. He thinks, despair crawling up his throat. He wants to cry. Neither of them are in any shape to move, but they can't sit here and wait. There's no telling where the others are, how much longer the stability of their little corner will last. It's starting to dawn on him that they're in very real danger. Very real danger that they could've avoided if he wasn't such a piece of shit.

--

The only light in the darkness is the static flashing of the emergency line on his belt. It highlights the blood caking the side of Yuichi’s face, the way more of it pools into the broken asphalt beside them and down Leo’s legs, black as tar.

“How long?” Yuichi murmurs into the quiet. The gravelly lilt of his voice practically echoes like a gunshot, made all the worse by his ragged breathing.

Leo straightens from where he's slouched, looking at Yuichi’s upside down visage, at the way his best friend is struggling not to grimace as Leo presses the medical gauze to the back of his head just a little more firmly. He goes to wipe some of the matted blood from Yuichi’s brow with a trembling hand, “Maybe twenty minutes? Something like that.” He tries to soothe, “It's hard to tell when my phone is busted and–”

“No.” Yuichi interrupts, quietly. Leo almost doesn't hear him.

“What?” Leo asks, frowning.

“How…long.” Yuichi manages, breathless. His eyes are glazed with pain, but he still looks directly at Leo with all the seriousness of someone that knows they're on the edge of a very steep, downhill slope.

He doesn't look away.

Leonardo’s gut curdles with horror, suddenly, at all the things Yuichi isn't saying out loud.

“You're not dying.”

“Leo–”

“You're not!” Leonardo practically barks. His hands shake and unease crawls up his throat; somehow he doesn't vomit. There is a horrible crack in his voice when he chokes, “You’re such a dick.”

Yuichi just looks at him with a familiar expression, the kind that reads you're a complete fool. Usually he looks annoyed when he makes it, sometimes he even manages to crack a grin.

Now, he just looks so, so sad.

--

The shadows encroach across the edges of Leo’s vision and he swallows past the dust caking his mouth, shell aching with the echoes of a dark, fathomless hellscape and the feeling of an enormous presence crushing him down, down, down. He finds it hard to take in a lungful of air, suddenly.

Your fault, something in the darkness croaks, this is all your fault.

btw for context these scenes r part of the same events but they don't happen consecutively so i put -- to show a change in time LMFAO not like it matters cause this whole thing is getting scrapped pretty much bc it doesn't fit w the story anymore but it's ALL good bc what happens instead is even crazier 😎 also also they r not dating at this point in time they r still besties 🤝

for more context this is taking place after the invasion (several months after, leo and yuichi r seventeen around this point in time) but leo is still struggling w himself just a little bit . anyways they get into a bad accident w another mutant (that's trying to k word them very much) and find themselves in a cave in that happens after the foundations beneath a building give way . leo tries to protect yuichi on the way down but he fails (he blames himself, yuichi is mad at him for the stunt) . it's winter and hypothermia is a real problem btw and they're both very injured so yippee !!! this info wasn't really included in the above scenes so that's my bad 💔 ANYWAYS like i said this is getting scrapped so i thought i would post it 🫶 if u have any questions i will try my best to answer them 😀

[sp1lled-lemon4de]

Fandom: MHA ( My Hero Academia)

Characters: Tamaki amajiki x gn!reader (mostly female, if male then it's ass eating TvT)

Genre: mix?...

Tw: hints to abuse, mentions of being made fun of for choice of clothing, pet names indecisiveness on our part, mentions of light playful choking, biting , indecent language such as curse words, suggestive, mentions of wanting to commit suicide, mentions of past toxic relationships

Sorry If I missed some stuff

A/n: so was listening to High school sweethearts by Melanie Martinez and the thought of an high-school AU with us and Tamaki crossed my mind, i also want to include some of the song lyrics... and I cut the song short T-T Lyrics in pinkkk

^v^ _________________________________

Can we just be honest?...These are the requirements... If you think you can be my one and only true love.

Can't we just be honest? You have had your fair share of lovers...all of them coming to an end, so from your experience you set your standards and had requirements.

So many people flocked around you, begging for a chance at dating you, while others lurked in the shadows sending gifts hoping you would notice them.

You must promise to love me... and damn it if you fuck me over I will rip your fucking face apart.

You wanted someone who truly loved you, all your faults and everything, not like those people you dated before...

They hurt you in every way possible, some even getting physically. But this time if anybody dared to hurt you. They would be the one scarred for the rest of their life.

All your struggles with the people that claimed to "love you" weren't for nothing you were done being treated like that.

Step one, you must accept I'm a little out my head...

All the stuff that happened to you, messed with your head... you didn't know what was real and what wasn't, you just had to trust...

Step two, this is a waste if you can walk me down the finish line.

You were ignored,  made fun of, but Tamaki he never did... But would he be there to the end with you?...

People said he didn't fit you, you were a tall person taller than him and most of your teachers, with long legs, which sometimes got you hate but you learnt to love those legs...

But does he love them? Does Tamaki love them?...

Step 3, give me passion, don't make fun of my fashion...

Would he love you deeply?... Would he spend time comforting you in you darkest times or would he shy away and be anxious just as his class portray him?..

Would he make fun of your fashion? You have been told that you dress a bit over the top , a little too bold , too revealing.

No... he wouldn't... would he?

Step 4 , give me more , give me more...

You wanted him all to yourself, every time you guys made eye contact, you wanted more. Everytime he smiled, you wanted more, you wanted him all.

If you can't handle a heart like mine, don't waste your time with me, if your not down to bleed.

You shouted at Tamaki, tears threatened to fall from the corners of your eyes.

" why are you like this, couldn't you see they were flirting with you!?"

" I'm sorry I paid no mind to them.. I d-didn't know this is how you felt..."

"Gosh damnit, why Tamaki? Do I have to love you?"

You've been through so much pain, that you felt numb to it at a certain point, but Tamaki managed to get that feeling out of you.

" if you can't handle a heart like mine, don't waste your time with me..."

You whispered, on your knees, lips trembling, teary-eyed and with a broken heart broken heart.

He was yours, he had to be yours, you need him to be yours

But why couldn't you see? How much Tamaki loved you?

How much he hated seeing you like this? How much he wished he could kiss you, hold you , love you like no one else.

If you can't handle the choking , the biting , the loving , the smothering, till you can't handle it no more... go home...

He bent down and pressed a soft kiss on your fore head.

"Y/n I promise I love you, I can and I will take care of you , I can handle it I promise, the choking ,the biting ,the loving ,the smothering will never be too much for me I promise"

Can we just be honest , these are the requirements if you think you can be my one and only true love, you must promise to love me and damn it if you fuck me over I will rip your fucking face apart...

High school sweethearts..

Ofcourse the love and attention Tamaki got was annoying, you knew he was yours. And for once you knew this person actually loved you.

Line up, try not to waste my time.

Letters upon letters of love declarations piled up inside your locker.

"such a waste of time" you mumbled to yourself.

Not that you didn't appreciate the letters, notes, flowers, candies etc.

It's just that you were taken, and you already had all of that. You were just tired of it. Who could blame you?

High school sweethearts, shut up if your not my type.

You didn't want a jock or a fuck boy, nerds were cute but still, no lover boy or any of those boys..

Only Tamaki...

(Repeat lyrics above) And I skipped the lyrics below

Step five You can't be scared to show me off and hold my hand Step six If you can't put in work, I don't know what you think this fucking is Step seven, this one goes to eleven If you cheat, you will die, die

If you can't handle a heart like mine Don't waste your time with me If you're not down to bleed, no, oh If you can't handle the choking, the biting The loving, the smothering 'Til you can't handle it no more, no more Go home

Can we just be honest? These are the requirements If you think you can be my one and only true love You must promise to love me And damn it, if you fuck me over I will rip your fucking face apart

High school sweethearts, line up Not trying to waste my time High school sweethearts, shut up If you're not my type High school sweethearts, line up Not trying to waste my time High school sweethearts, shut up If you're not my type

Continuing:

Could you hold me through the night? Put your lips all over my mine Salty face when I start cryin' Could you be my first time? Eat me up like apple pie Make me not wanna die Love me rough and let me fly Get me up, yeah, get me high Tie me down, don't leave my side Don't be a waste of my time

You wanted all of him, you got it..

All his kisses, all of them.

Tears fell from being so loved.

"Can I?" He asks

You nod your head in response....

Legs up as Tamaki sticks his tounge in further.

It's his first time tasting you, and he is completely whipped, I mean so are you.

Finally someone loved you, and it was the person you wanted, it was Tamaki, tears kept falling not only from pleasure but from the fact that you didn't want to kill yourself anymore...

Someone truly loved you.

Tamaki pushed his tounge further, as far as it could have gone, his pace quickened when he felt you clench around him.

Your eyes rolled back from how good it felt, you mumbled incoherently, and you grabbed Tamaki's hair, yanking it.

"Mhmph, i-im close Tamaki please d-dont stop"

Your high was too much, it felt as though you were flying.

Atleast it was Tamaki who made you fly...

___________________________ An: ikikik that I cut the song, forgive me. Tbh this is the longest fiction on my blog lol. Tamaki is Bae

(TAGS BELOW)

[oathbreakerapologist]

Ghost has no gender, no hair tie, no overarching motivation… damn someone give this dude a purpo- no not murder put the knife away buddy

Actually SPEAKING of murder, since he’s basically blind, and lived the majority of his life in darkness, does he ever use that to his advantage when fighting? I know Drows get darkness as a racial ability, so I could see him doing his whole “tee-hee murder spree” schtick all showy and ego-boosting and whatnot, only to suddenly drown his opponent in Drow Ink (Drownk?) and fight them in the pitch black

You’ve never mentioned it afaik but I thought it was a neato idea

P.S. LOVE how you draw Orin and you are so right, she CAN have the body of a Gym Dude AND a schlong big enough to make Ghost see stars (probably the only way he’d be able to tbqh)

HEY THIS ASK MADE ME LAUGH MY ASS OFF MULTIPLE TIMES. Just hit after hit honestly. "No gender, no hair tie, no overarching motivation" IMPECCABLE LINE. "Actually SPEAKING of murder" PERFECT TRANSITION. "big enough to make Ghost see stars (probably the only way he'd be able to tbqh)" AGHGSGHAHAHAHGHHAHA

So anyway, thanks anon, this was a pleasure to read (also, glad you're into the way I draw Orin!) <3

First off, you're so right, this man needs a purpose so badly it's unreal.

Secondly, I've actually never thought about him using magical darkness specifically! That's a very cool idea (and I love the phrase "drow ink"). Even though he's canonically a paladin, I don't tend to think of him using much magic, at least not in the typical spell-casting sense—the way I see him, any magic he has is interwoven into him in ways that make him subtly stronger, faster, more resilient, and overall deadlier. He doesn't intend for magical effects to come out as spells; things just tend to happen the way he wants them to. Now that you bring up darkness, though, I'm thinking that that sort of thing might apply. Perhaps, when you encounter him in a dimly-lit passageway, the shadows around him are just a bit darker—and the dark just a bit more disorienting—than before.

That being said, he does absolutely fight in ways that let him take advantage of the fact that he's got much less need for light than others. When he expects a fight, he does his best to ensure that fight happens in a dark area—he'll be fine, but his opponents will struggle. But he can make it work in bright places when he needs to.

In previous editions of D&D, drow were sometimes said to have infrared/thermal vision. I know they took thermal vision out of the game system because it's an absolute nightmare to make rulings on (can you see a presumably room-temperature zombie? does a zombie produce any body heat? how long has it been dead? is it actually room temperature? is there a certain necromantic chill to it?), but conceptually I like it, so I think he does have some infrared vision with slightly better acuity than his standard visible-spectrum vision. That helps him against quite a lot of combatants—it's not great for detail, but in a fight he doesn't need much more than basic motion and position. Between that and a well-developed ability to track the movements of creatures based on auditory cues, he's still a frighteningly competent combatant in daylight (though he'll grumble about it being too fucking bright approximately once every five minutes until he's back in the dark).

You're right that he's not got very much of a chance at seeing stars. (Aside from through those... uh... alternate methods. Orin truly did show him a whole new world.)

[foster-the-moths]

If you don't mind, could you give us a tutorial or brief explanation on how you render hair? /nf

YES!! unfortunately i got. very tired after making this so this is only one hair type :( was gonna go into all the different types of hair textures but. i will just have to do that later. also keep in mind i drew this in like. 7 minutes its just a simple guide to get out the basic steps

^i didn't put music in this so. listen to whatever u want while ur watching this (its 6 minutes 40 seconds). also its slightly sped up this isn't real speed

elaboration of each step under read more:

step 0: look at other hair tutorials/pictures of real hair to figure out how light reflects off of them. then completely disregard that and just make things up (this is the best artistic process trust me i do it every day)

step 1: just get out that basic shape. it doesnt have to be anything fancy,

step 2: just fill it in and adjust the shape as needed

step 3: figure out how the hair moves and flows, which parts go out more (highlights), which parts are closer to the head (shadows/base), etc. i highly recommend just looking at pictures of hair online, or taking pictures of your own hair. for coily/curly hair, you just kind of have to do this for each curl/coil. one thing to keep in mind the highlight is in the middle of the curl/coil and the shadows are on the edges (usually). i'll elaborate more on that once i have an actual video for it

step 4: just make it so the edges of the highlights transition a bit more smoothly into the base color. it just helps for later steps tbh. try not to over do it, don't want to completely get rid of the highlight, just soften it

step 5: add more highlights with thinner brush. this should be where the light would bounce off the hair the MOST. i think i forgot to say in the video uhhh add in some base value too. maybe a few shadows. mostly this step is for highlights tho.

step 6: idk what else to put here sorry. ngl just get silly with it

step 7: it is very important to do one stroke per area in this one. do not lift your pen off the screen/tablet/whatever until the little area youre working on is one smooth transparent shade, then move on to the next. idk if i'm explaining this right hopefully this makes sense.

step 8: complete opposite as step seven. make as many strokes as you feel it needs. not TOO many, just enough to get some texture and then some yk? i recommend making a copy of the layer youre working on before doing this so that if you mess something up you can always go back to square one.

also a lot of these steps apply to pretty much any hair type just. in a completely different shape with completely different rules. which is to say its exactly like this but it actually isn't like this at all. which is why i plan on making other videos some day (hopefully) also look up "hair texture chart" it will help you find the words you need to look up good refs

remember: always get silly with it. the only rule to to make things up and change your mind 400 times. bring a 'fuck it, we ball' mentality to your art program that the haters (your brain) really won't like. practice makes perfect and all that, do NOT expect to get something good first try, sometimes i still struggle with drawing hair in a way that i like and just scrap the whole thing. also i'm not kidding about those real hair reference pictures it helps so so much

hope this helped at least a little bit bc i am not good at explaining things 👍

[arcplaysgames]

Anyway I will sum up: the current theory is that by taking people's Desires (the heart gem thing), Alice can control those people and it's probably bad, since when stuff happens to your Shadow it will effect your real self too.

Seems like Alice is trying to lure more people into her Jail so she can alter their cognition. Which given she kinda started as an influencer is so much I wanna die a bit.

also holy crap the textures in this game are sometimes Really Bad lmao. I wonder how P5R looks on the Switch, I might google that later out of curiosity.

Now it's time to investigate Alice herself and turns out Ann has admired her for a while and asked her agency if she could meet Alice, so she's got seats at a TV appearance.

thanks dad-- what the fuck, chaz is here. why does EVERYONE in japanese government hang at Sojiro's place?

Reverie has a full-body flashback to that time about a year and change ago when he sat in this same TV studio (but back when it wasn't made of Mario 64 textures) and shook hands with the love of his life and his star-crossed kismesis. For a moment, the entire dayglo set fades to a single color. Beige. jfc he was sooooo beige.

ANYWAY uh.

Alice tells the story about how she was extremely shy growing up and struggled to overcome it despite how much she wanted to. Then, she saw a beautiful dress in a shop window, and upon putting it on, she felt like a totally different person, like a ray of light had fallen right on her.

And HONESTLY this is the first moment that Ann's entire thing has made sense to me, how becoming a model could inspire people. I think there is more than a few issues with looking at an extremely thing, extremely carefully produced person and going "oh, this is aspirational" but at least the concept makes a little more sense now.

BUUUUUUUUT turns out Alice is not just a victim of her Jail like I proposed, she's a baddie.

Oh okay so she knows what's going on and is doing it on purpose, okay.

That's disappointing.

I'm sorry, Ann. It does suck. Her whole speech about wanting to inspire people like she was, yeah, it sounded like Ann, and Ann's disappointment is even stronger than mine.

I was kinda sad that Jails apparently work pretty similarly to Palaces but also things get SO FUCKING WILD HERE I'm kinda cool with it.

While Reverie is comforting Ann and thinking about it was in this very hallway where he met a beige boy he almost changed the universe to have a second chance with, Alice just SHOWS UP AND

oh my god

THIS GAME IS OFF IT'S FUCKING SHITS

a fucking pastel pink ultra-cosplayer keeps stepping on people, this game. oh my god. i'm crying its so good.

I think we can fix Alice without stealing her heart, all we gotta do is introduce her to the Domme lifestyle and teach her about scenes, boundaries, and consent. There is a historic top shortage going on and she could really find her niche.

this is clearly not a negotiated scene, so Ann and Reverie run in to break it up. take it to the kink dungeon, girly, this ain't the venue. SSC or RACK, pick one.

Alice actively tries to get Ann and Reverie under her mind control shit?????

OKAY SO she is like fully aware of the cognitive world? It feels like she's pretty in-tune with her Shadow. Which usually means the Shadow doesn't stay a separate being but becomes a persona instead.

Instead, with the Jail system, they seem to be keeping separate even as they both work towards the same goals. That's new and strange.

This is definitely setting up some core questions like who made EMMA, how did Alice figure out how it worked, has she been inside the cognitive world or did she just figure out if she friended ppl with EMMA she could control them, and what's going on with the shadow vs real self here?

Regardless, Alice is a delight. I for one am thrilled to have her, but I also fear that Persona 5 Strikers might peak with its first main villain here because where the fuck do you go after evil pastel princess dominatrix? I have no idea.

[trickstarbrave]

Better art ask: What Brushes do you use?

uhhhhh oh fuck

well mostly i use csp and custom brushes from the asset store. for details and jewelry and blood splatters and more i kinda just go ham with a bunch of them. but as for brushes i use all the time unfortunately some arent available anymore :( but sure i'll show them

most lines i actually use this brush:

its more of a pencil but was in fact designed for lines. at a small size and on a large canvas you dont notice the texture that much it just gives it a lil smth smth. outside that i also use what im pretty sure is the default textured pen bc i just like my lines with a bit of texture.

for sketching i will use the standard colored pencil default brush

to get the basic shapes as it is pretty light to start off with and i dont want anything too detailed, before i move into

uhhhh this one i also can't find. i know its kind of a graffiti style marker supposedly (at least based on what i can read of the name tho i am illiterate rn given i am abt to pass out)

onto coloring--i will fill in colors with a standard hard-round/g-pen or the textured pen depending on what im coloring. and as for shading it is almost always

before fully moving to csp despite liking pretty much all of it more i struggled with coloring as i was deeply attached to the watercolor tool in csp. i tried and tried over and over to find a brush that worked the same and finally found one which was close enough. over the years i have tweaked it here and there. but when people say "i love your rendering!" it is almost always this bad boy doing most of the heavy lifting.

bad example but it can do hard or soft edges depending on the pressure. its soft, kinda transparent, and easy to control (for me anyways). you can also drag the colors around when blending which is helpful because i also use this to like. erase and redefine shadows too. i would link you but uhhhh i think i found this brush in. 2018-2019???? and i havent found it or the others mentioned unfortunately. problems that come with people deleting or privating brushes and also dling a bunch of them but i might have also changed it so much its not really the same thing anymore LMAO

also honorary mention for the standard round airbrush for gradients and to get very rough shading and form down. and also i will use the standard default colored pencil brush for highlights sometimes on skin or shiny fabric because i feel like it looks???? more realistic???? cause skin and fabric has texture. yknow.

if you guys find any of these feel free to link them bc i havent had any luck even googling the name or digging around my downloads history

[loisroo]

8 shows to get to know me

i was tagged by @tiffanylamps forever ago (sorry 🤦🏼‍♀️) and more recently by @evil-moonlight (thank you my beloved evil 🖤🖤).

btw none of these are in order because i can’t choose favorites and most of them are recent shows that I’ve watched and not all my favorites over the years.

1. the untamed — y’all i’m a basic bitch and i wish I could say i loved this for wwx and lwj relationship, the darkness and the sacrifice, the pain that comes with being known, the grief of losing the one you hold dear and all the wonderful, wonderful things this show is about… but in reality it’s because of this idiot:

2. beyond evil — this show has consumed me for like two years now and i’m still writing fic for it and I watch it multiple times. the plot is amazing, the actors are phenomenal, the writer and director are both women. they care about the victims on this show and allow vulnerability to exist while also keeping you at the edge of your seat and so fucking confused. the characters are dynamic and nuanced and so very real, it makes you feel for them so much. but if I’m staying honest then it’s mostly because of these two idiots being in love:

3. we are lady parts— i didn’t even know i needed this show until i watched it. it’s so fucking punk, the whole show just oozes pink vibes and the music ughhhhhhhh. i’m neither muslim nor from the united kingdom but i resonated so fucking hard with aspects of the characters and fell in with the whole show. it’s empowering and fun, i highly recommend this to everyone.

4. what we do in the shadows (wwdits) — this show is just… one of the best comedies ever. the writing, the acting, the character development…. this show might honestly be one of the best i’ve ever seen even outside of the comedy genre. it’s so much more then it actually leads you to believe at first. plus the gay, can’t forget about the gay because literally the whole show is queer and i love it. and the plus sized rep is also super wonderful!

5. good omens — i recommend this show to everyone because it’s wonderful in so many ways, and the two leads are just *chef’s kiss* but i also love this show so much because it was written by my brother’s favorite author (@neil-gaiman) and he loved this book (and american gods) so much, he talked about it constantly. now that he’s gone whenever i watch it, i feel closer to him and connected to him, it’s a really nice way to handle my grief sometimes. plus i know he’d be pissed that he missed the show too. lol

6. ted lasso — this show was super surprising for me, i don’t mind watching sports and some games but I was like 10 episodes about sports? Mmmmm maybe not. but then my sister begged and begged for me to watch it so i did. it’s second to wwdits with comedy but this show has the healthiest characters, the greatest character developments, they call out toxic masculinity and sexist ideals, and it’s so heartwarming. i rarely stop smiling while watching it, top notch writing and top notch acting.

7. derry girls — i struggle to pinpoint the exact reason i adore this show so much. maybe it’s the teenagers that act like actual teenager, or the inclusion of parents in the story line without them being dumb or the main characters or ignore their children. maybe it’s because they are a light in a dark time, living through something awful and scary while still trying to live their lives. maybe it’s the wonderful characters that make you smile and laugh… maybe it’s sister george michael.

8. the equalizer — i fucking love queen latifah. she is awesome as the man badass lead in this, she’s smart and resourceful and she uses that to help people in her community and make things right when the law falls short. most of the main cast are black women and a lot of the guests and secondary characters are also people of color and women. ohh also gay auntie saw whatttttttttttttttt. i know this show doesn’t get the greatest overall ratings and people really judge it often but it’s a show about the injustices in the world with a dynamic and diverse cast, I really really love watching it.

thanks for the tags! 🖤 no pressure tags: @killerandhealerqueen @l-tyrell @tardis--dreams @ah-ragehappy @cafedecanela @magicaldreamfox1

[borealopelta]

🌈🌻🎉

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

i just mentioned this fic but between light and shadows was a huge fucking struggle. it was a prompt fic and i was so excited about finally getting to write a prompt fic like all the big writers and it just wasn't going the way i wanted it to go. eventually i had to give up and embrace the fact that that beast was going to be Horrible Magic Angst instead of like. a nasty flu. i have three versions of it in my gloryhammer fic folder in various stages of abandonment. i tried for a LONG time to get it right. and i did! but boy i gave up so much. another one is an unposted thing, also gloryhammer, that sat in my wip folder for TWO YEARS i kid you not before i eventually revamped the whole thing and actually finished pretty quickly - and it turned out nice, i gotta say.

🌻what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

oh the lack of feedback for sure!!!! i mostly write for tiny slash barely existent fandoms, with the occasional Big One as an exception to the rule (but even then usually rarepairs......so back to square one) and getting like. thirty hits on something. and two comments from your target audience. is super demoralizing! i want all the feedback in the world i want people to read this shit but it's not gonna happen! so yeah that usually makes me want to throw it all away. and then sometimes i'll get SUCH a good idea that i don't even care if it's gonna get ANY traction i have to get it out. or i have a friend who inspires me to write fic just for them or maybe a few other people, definitely not post it on ao3 just share it around. but yeah the lack of engagement kills the man.

🎉how often do you celebrate completing & posting a work? how often do you give yourself the credit/validation that you seek from others when you post? (if you don't, you should!)

humm...not often? i usually get SUPER anxious about posting so i'll just sit for a couple minutes for it to wind down and then i'll immediately take a computer break so my brain doesn't obsess over hits that won't be coming immediately and comments that may not even happen. for the second part of this: sometimes i'll reread my posted/unposted stuff and go damn op ate here. and that's nice. i really did. no crumbs. but i usually can't cancel out outside validation with my own nice thoughts soooo

[nerice]

ask meme: even numbers >:3

CATCHING UP ON ASK GAMES on this fine 1:18 am >:3

2, if you gave an in depth description of your story to someone who was not all the way paying attention, what would their takeaway be?

the takeaway is that i'd stop talking the second it seems sb is not paying attention lmao but i guess the cliffnotes is [standing in front of conspiracy board] hot evil girls (unkillable) also moons something is up with them moons

4, what would you say is the message, if there is one.

alright finally deigning this with a serious answer. there is no big msg no grand takeaway, just the mess of the struggle & trying to make it thru when life is cruel and unjust and sometimes there's light at the end of the tunnel and other times the despair wins. sometimes the despair is chosen and it's a self-righteous thing and at the end of the day it's about knowing what's best for yourself and the life you want to live, despite (all the despites) and sometimes it is about the catharsis of giving up when it's all too much ;-;

6, speaking of tv adaptations, why would yours get cancelled? (other than capitalism)

ive seen the twinks people wanna cast for holland shadesofmagic i am not letting irl casting be done so this never gets made because animation is too expensive (shoutout to hair, my ocs have a lot of it) w otherwise for all the same reasons down in #18

8, what inspired your world building, if anything?

moon emphasis is definitely a sailor moon worm + a lot of contamination from waverunners [german pirate series] eldritch ocean mare tenebrosum merged with some old recurring fever dream imagery for the invisible moon. also EXTREMELY early kyoani/key shows (air+kanon) for sponsoring how my visual imagination works & the tragedy/wings/dream thematics <3

10, if your story is titled, why did you choose that title?

ok fun anecdote time again in lieu of going thru all 2389 stories individually so. shadow revenge is the book i started out with and always had that title, and when conceptualizing the other two books for the trilogy i wanted to keep a similar naming scheme (starting with s + double noun) so originally they were

schattenrache (shadow revenge)

seelentraum (soul delusion, to grade 8 me, but lit. 'soul dream')

sanduhrmelodie (sandglass melody)

the last one is esp fun bc i was just groping in the dark for a title to fit the scheme & only from there worked out it was abt linn's melody nd all that biz lmao but u can see the influence that later made soul plot big before i switched to 'dream game' for the middle one bc i always LOATHED 'soul delusion' as a title f. (the german one fucks quite well tbh) so much of my finickiness is needing to make things work in 2 languages OTL

12, okay be honest. pick a favorite oc from this ocverse.

there is no competition like, at all. 🐇

14, whats your favorite part of this story/project?

interconnected story hell !!!!!!! i don't think i'll ever write anything else i'll never have a story that does not plug into the larger verse somehow (valiant attempts by my short story profs but vertebrae inventory / touching fire / let sleeping gods die all got folded back into side content ww) nothing gets my brain going like the layers upon layers of history and thrulines and transposing it into different settings or formats. i will never get tired of it. i was put on this earth to do exactly this and i hope i will get to do it for a long time still <(/)3

16, imagine the entire story takes place but in the meantime the characters all also have tumblr. what kind of (terrible) tumblr posts would happen?

answered! but as a bonus i am entirely sure that eliada would get the most mileage out of that setup until he gets doxxed by alissa. send tweet

18, what aspect of the story would get you #canceled on twitter?

glorifying self harm and suicide, teenagers fucking raw onscreen, every #linneacore moment. also cancelling myself over the existence of amasa i deserve it what the fuck

20, your ocverse just got a movie trilogy a la hunger games style. how have they horribly mangled your message/theme so that the movies are now a showcase of what the original was condemning?

OH FOR SURE none of the ugly parts or disk horse worthy content (see above) stay intact, sj is a romance now, gr*y actually dies and probably feels a little bad about what he has done, every suicide gets some noble circumstances attached to it esp faye who gets shafted into the typical time traveling savior role instead of coldhearted pragmatism for her own end. i am mad just thinking abt it thanks <3

22, you have been given unlimited funds to make two adaptations of some sort, however you cannot make any other adaptations of any other sort. which two formats do you choose?

(i am not handing any point of production over to anyone else but i am using the unlimited funds to devote myself to realizing these full-time) comics and animation! i am not interested in anything else

24, best scene you've written?

my writing is no doubt at its best when i'm writing soulless torture / rabbit hell but that is. premium tier locked patreon content; as far as fav scenes go my top three are probably

qs life pledges [THEY WIN !]

the original black swan masked ball piece. changed the course of history & my entire writing career

jumie/sky conversation after [redacted]s death. we cannot elaborate it's too much for my heart, agh!

[lies down both metaphorically and irl] goodnight thanks for playing!!