#but also immensely painful

[heretherebedork]

History happened and history is real and history is queer and the reality of love is that it has always been queer even when people try to erase it, try to remove it, try to wash it out. But the past is still there. The past happened exactly as it happened and nothing changes that. It happened. Even if no one speaks their names or the words, it still happened.

(The whole story is so haunting but the truth is that it must be told, that the pain must be faced, again and again, because the truth is that people have been hurting and loving for so, so long and the past hurts and the future is still hurt by the past, shaped by the past, but we have the power to reshape the future with love.)

[stil-lindigo]

Context: Israel “allowed” aid in the forms of flour bags to be airdropped into Gaza, waited for hundreds to congregate, and then opened fire into the crowd of desperate, starving Palestinians. 150 Palestinians were killed. Hundreds more wounded. This is being called “The Flourbag Massacre”.

source

Meanwhile, over on the other side…

[utilitycaster]

I think the two most obvious foils for Ludinus Da'leth across all of Critical Role are Essek and Keyleth, which is both fascinating given how different those two characters are from each other (Essek being a foil in terms of isolation, single-mindedness, harm in the name of ambition, knowledge, and other such wizard themes; Keyleth being a foil in terms of people who have lost something at a young age to the gods and bear resentment for it, political leadership, belief that the world belongs to mortalkind, and longevity) but also it's extremely funny that they both are the partners of Liam's character.

[napolean-but-cringe]

People keep talking about the whimpering horror podcast men and how distracting it can be but as a (maybe) asexual person, all I ever heard were men in pain. Other people find the whimpering weirdly erotic while I hear a guy in desperate need of a Hospital and a Therapist

[kunveekuzushi]

Isn't this what you wanted, Ajaw?

[sluckythewizard]

[PUT INTO PLACE, TIED DOWN AND ARRANGED, AND IS NEVER THE SAME, AGAIN.]<-listen to my favorite songs. VAMPIRES ARE WONDERFUL ARENT THEY. THE FLESH IS SO MUCH MORE DURABLE. SO MUCH STRETCHIER THAN HUMANS. THE STRESS DOESNT KILL A VAMPIRE THE SAME WAY IT DOES A HUMAN. YOU CAN TAKE THEM APART THREAD BY THREAD AND LEAVE THEM WIDE AWAKE WITHOUT WORRY OF THE BRAINMATTER SPOILING UNDER VINEGARY AGONY.

[chloecherrysip]

We're going to save your brother.

[redraven25-stuff]

we got the viktor and jinx interaction BUT AT WHAT COST. ARCANE JESUS GOT WHACKED BY JUDAS

(also i’ve seen someone get pissy over the religious imagery in arcane bc people are saying viktors jesus. it’s called parallels and imagery, literary devices are in every part of media whether you see it or not)(no one is saying that fictional man is actually jesus)

[ilovettrpgs]

Idk if you take requests... but..

Could you make a pirate au checkmatch or phoebe meme :]]

- you know who I am >:]

I'm not sure if this is what you meant but it's got pirate stuff so here :3

[introspectivememories]

i miss when the main personality trait for dabi was "even tho we have differing goals and wildly different ways of achieving it, know that you're my little sibling and i will always love you" and then the reveal came and hori was like "you stupid fucking idiot, you really thought you could have big bro!dabi?? he fucking hates them you idiot"

[keshetchai]

As someone who enjoys religion blogging/discussions, I've come to realize that it's a good practice to be aware of the general signs/symptoms of religious-OCD thinking (aka scrupulosity), because if the conversation is taking on all the hallmarks of scrupulosity, it's actually a definitive sign that we cannot meaningfully and compassionately engage in a conversation about religion in a healthy way. I've actually had this play out a significant number of times online, and when I realized what it was, I also began to realize that the intrusive thoughts/obsessive and compulsive thinking are only ever fed by continuing the discussion with that person.

[[ Important edit to clarify why I am saying it's not healthy — made after I went back to look for more concrete facts about OCD or anxiety (I have GAD, not OCD, but many resources overlap since they're both anxiety disorders):

When Reassurance is Harmful — this explains how/why reassurance-seeking specifically about an OCD fear is a compulsive behavior, and engaging with reassurance-seeking interferes with recovery/management/treatment.

This table from the Anxiety Disorders Center lists key differences between Information Seeking and Reassurance Seeking.

This IOCDF page on Scrupulosity info for Faith Leaders identifies "symptom accommodation" as enabling. Two of the examples of doing this by participating in the OCD behavior are: "Engage in excessive conversation focused on if-then scenarios (e.g., "If I did this, then would X or Y happen? And what if Z was involved? How about W?")" And, "Repeatedly answering questions about ‘correct’ religious or faith practices."

That page also goes on to outline more info about reassurance seeking. "Although providing answers to (often simple!) questions may seem harmless, providing reassurance serves to maintain the anxiety disorder cycle." (This BMC psychiatry article cites a lot of related studies establishing this.)

The IOCDF page on What is OCD and Scrupulosity? ]]

Imo, the responsible thing to do is to recognize that (even if the other person hasn't outright stated it/isn't diagnosed)* the conversation is not about religion, it is about needing mental health support from professionals and experts. Talking to me, the layperson who enjoys chatting theology and my religion — is not only not helping, but is actively harmful. I'm not just talking about the person who I replied to today, either. Like I've said, I've seen this happen dozens of times in various online forums.

*[while I am against diagnosing strangers on the internet, it's important to realize A) lots of people don't know what Scrupulosity is, so it's possible they've never considered this is a mental health concern that could be treated, and that B) for the purposes of my concern, it doesn't matter if they actually have diagnosed OCD. The only thing that matters is that their thought-process causes them genuine distress/fear, and every response given to them seems to only incite new/additional distressing questions/thoughts, or further entrenches the original distress.]

Ultimately, any discussion aside from "you might want to speak to a mental health professional about scrupulosity OCD" seemingly puts me in the position of feeling as if I am being used for their self-harm. I hate that feeling. I do not want to be leverage for fear and pain. I have GAD, I despise the idea that I am making things worse.

No matter how much I love religious discussion, the answer in these cases is always "please reach out to an OCD specialist/mental health professional. I am not qualified to discuss this." And then to stop there. I have never once seen anyone stuck in this compulsive thought spiral be reassured or feel any better by hearing from someone else's approach to theology handled with things like empathy, compassion, logic, or even atheism. It doesn't matter what we say, how we say it, or how we relate to our own religion. The urge to engage in this kind of conversation in order to chat about religion is a sign that we are not equipped to help.

You can't have a conversation here, because intentionally or not, ten times out of ten, you are adding fuel to the fire. Just like people can't simply tell me something that would erase/talk me out of my ADHD/depression/anxiety disorder, you also cannot simply argue/reassure/persuade people out of scrupulosity. We should not try. We have a responsibility to consider that it's outright harmful to do so, and to disengage.

[touchlikethesun]

because i've been thinking about akiteru again, here are screenshots from one of the funniest moments between tsukishima brothers that i've had sitting in my drafts since december

like everyone's over the top reaction to aki (like he's just a guy!)(he's not just a guy tho is he...), not to mention aki treating going to his little brother's volleyball game like it's some covert mission, just upping the stakes for what should be a small thing

only for aki's caution to be proven warranted as kei notices he's there and turns downright murderous - and he's gripping a volleyball, that could be used as a projectile weapon - and aki cowers from the wrath of his brother

ofc, kei doesn't ask him to leave, and he ends up really appreciating his brother's presence later so...

they are so ridiculous, so amusing...

[mxbitters]

parents are funny the way they want you to be open and honest with them, supposedly, but when you are, it leads to some fucking confrontation that didn’t need to happen, and when that happens, it leads to something you weren’t ready to say coming out, then being coaxed out into a still very much controlled held-back version of describing your lifelong experience feeling shame for existing the way you do and not being “easy” or as good as like, your little sister, academically, or as capable of masking as anyone else, and THAT carefully worded recall of just the natural fucking feelings of growing up in a frankly abusive household, resulting in.. oh, sorry, YOUR FATHER crying as if he wasnt just trying to gaslight you into thinking he didnt tell you the other day to Improve Yourself As A Person (right before the conversation about his mother entering hospice so now guess who can’t fucking mourn without associating it with that!) and that he instead was saying Improve Your Situation

and then he like catches you like visibly dissociating, comments, you try and put it in very simple words what just happened (in the same manner you have pointed out every other little thing he does to invalidate your feelings, or as he’d put it, “your feelings” yes using air quotes) and he suddenly is a fucking Psychology Scholar And Didn’t Need You To Explain What The Defense Mechanism Even Was and oh then also admitting to doing harm in the past, saying he had apologized (wonder why i dont remember), your mother(actual psychology minor) getting all “i’m sorry you feel that way” and also after a long ass tangent about there being a difference between “shamed” and “ashamed” as if you didn’t mean the word you say, a thing you did make very clear, ONCE AGAIN FUCKING CRYING ABOUT YOU BEING OPEN AND HONEST FOR ONCE AND TELLING THEM THEY HURT YOU

[canisonicscrewyou]

Fuck this entire week oh my fucking godddd. This felt like a little trial. Hurdles to get through the last of Busy Season for the year.

This week:

I shut down my store's entire IT system while being guided through a troubleshoot and it took ~45 minutes to fix it

Rolled + landed on my ankle on my walk to work on Halloween. Had to limp into work.

On Halloween I also had to kick out an intoxicated dude on a bike who tried to serve himself water out of a crushed, grimy to-go cup by leaning his entire body over the bar after going to the registers to ask ME for a cup of water. Left after telling me he has two no-trespassing orders from my store.

Had to hobble my way home because I had no way of getting a ride because my city closes down half the streets for Halloween.

Worked through my bruised and busted up ankle for ~3 days while another coworker called out to. Probably catch up on school work.

Nearly cried at work like. Several. Times. Partially from overwhelm and confusion and now partially from pain.

Watched my boss feel immensely bad after seeing My Ouchie and then went home. (<- only for my fiancé to come in to pick me up and then when I wasn't there, tell my boss and coworker that I should have called out today which is. Correct.)

Now I'm really just sitting with my injured leg Up High and On Ice

I got to see some fireworks, dress up as Will Graham, my coworker gave me the last of her cigarettes, and I got to post fic though so. Not all bad. I guess.

[saberdramon]

playing 0 after kiwamis is also giving me a new outlook to kiryu's relationship with fighting. nishiki's comment when he first meets kiryu in the game, after kiryu's beaten the thugs harassing a civilian, is particularly interesting to me: "Again? I can't tell if you're a sadist or a charity worker." it could just be a bit between them or a similar meaningless quip, sure. but considering the kind of shitchild kiryu is in 0, how nishiki genuinely thinks he might've killed a guy before he has all the information about the murder... i think kiryu enjoyed fighting. maybe too much so. gameplay mechanics similarly support the idea, with him rapidly picking up and developing new styles to utilize in combat. and it brings him a thrill like nothing else

in contrast kiryu is much more hesitant to picking up fights in kiwami and kiwami 2. fighting has lost its status as a twisted kind of hobby and become more of a tool, a medium of communication even. something kiryu has to do to get what he wants, to do what he must. the thrill has been replaced by an ever-growing stack of stakes, and the cruelty of the world swallows what's left of it. the only person with whom kiryu feels allowed to indulge in fighting is majima, and i wouldn't be surprised if a part of that sense of permission stems from majima being worse than him by being as open as he is about enjoying the act of beating a man to (near) death. compared to that sort of open sadism kiryu's enjoyment feels almost innocent in its nature. there is no need to feel guilt and shame when someone much worse than you is standing in front of you playing with his blood-stained dagger and eyeing you like a piece of meat

i may have gotten a little side-tracked but the point is that there's an evolution to kiryu's relationship with fighting. and it's interesting and captivating and getting me to appreciate what 0's doing in a whole new light

[leavemetoexist]

Just got to the second half of disco elysium and all i have to say is... WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK AHHHHHHHHHHHHH-