#but also i may have literally just been repeating another post i've made so

[giantkillerjack]

i love that you are still here on this earth. i am relieved that we've both made it this far. and i am so, so happy to be here on this planet with you. thank you for that.

[fairydares]

loook i get why the idea of riding the "anti/pro" fandom disk horse makes people gag a little in their mouth and try to opt out entirely, but here's why i went from feeling exactly the same way to taking a firm profiction stance. I've been meaning to make this post for a while.

~10 years ago, I posted a fic for the first time and it got its own harassment campaign. The fic wasn't even sexual, and wasn't going to be (it remains incomplete). It was accurately rated T on fanfiction.net. Anyone in the Fairy Tail fandom will understand this: I literally got harassed for writing a "Lucy leaves the guild" fic💀.

After many nice comments, someone left a pretty nasty one. Hurt, I messaged them back. They acted super attacked that I'd responded (lmao) and after we argued, threatened to "rip my shitty story apart in the comments section" if I responded again. I told them "go ahead lol."

They went ahead.

Now know that it was a relatively small harassment campaign, but at the time, it was devastating. Right around then, I wound up in the hospital. After I got out, I went to excitedly check my fic, and found several reviews saying things I wouldn't repeat to my worst enemy. I was suicide-baited more than once, told "thank fuck you finally abandoned this shitty story, dumb cunt," stuff like that.

There were several accounts involved, and I can't say for sure, but I suspect at least a couple different people were involved, though probably at least half of it was one person.

All the other comments were screeching about how I hadn't updated, mostly. "NO UPDAAATEE WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO MEEEE??!!!" was one that stood out after I'd been miserable in a hospital for an extended period of time.

Idk what people think is going on when FT fic authors write this trope, and frankly I don't give a fuck. Because while I was partly writing the story out of some young, cringe feminist rage, I also did genuinely have a real story I was compelled to tell. I was inspired by another, popular fic I loved which used the trope to talk about how trying to shoulder our burdens alone really just hurts both ourselves and everyone who cares about us.

My own story was ultimately going to have similar themes, with more focus on strength, what it means, and in what contexts earning and having it actually matters. In retrospect, no wonder I wound up in hot water, because at the time "Lucy vs. Strength vs. Misogyny" was the FT fandom's Designated Nonsensically Activist Debate™. But that's partly why i wanted to write about it; engaging with the fandom had gotten me thinking about it 🤷‍♂️

Not too long after that, FFNet oh-so-benevolently granted us the ability to delete comments from our own stories (they never took my reports seriously at all, afaik). I deleted all or most of the harassers' comments (may still be a one or two up, and i'm fairly sure there's a couple comments defending my fic from the harassment) without saving screenshots, which I really regret now. I was just so mortified and full of self-loathing about the whole thing that i wanted to forget it completely. Something that had brought me joy at a very lonely, vulnerable period of my life had turned so negative, and i couldn't even tell the people closest to me about it without being made fun of for writing anime fan fiction.

I didn't understand why this happened at the time, but--after a period of trying to forget/bid out of it all with a slight anti lean (a common approach I see people use, and one which I'm not proud of adopting)--I just had to figure out What the Fuck Even Happened There. And I'm telling you, after years of reflecting, wrestling with both sides, and educating myself, that this "status quo of harassment" culture which pervades fandom goes way deeper than you think and comes out of a way darker well than you probably realize. An astonishing amount of this is, quite literally, TERF shit and evangelical shit.

Trying to be in fandom and take a stance of, "Anti/Pro shit? Ew, I'm Not Touching that," is like swimming in a heavily polluted river and being like, "Poison? Cringe. Not me lol."

You might be lucky enough to be in a less-polluted part of the river (AKA a relatively non-toxic fandom, in which case good for you!)...but tbh this rhetoric and peer-signalling will still seep in.

I can't stress enough that pro-fiction, AKA "proship", is the normal, leftist-about-art-and-sex opinion. Pro-ship is against all the horrible things you're against; in fact, pro-ship isn't trivializing real trauma by equating it with fictional trauma, or trying to apply literal evangelical/radfem solutions--which are proven not to prevent or help. Profiction/proship is literally just saying, "Fiction is fiction, reality is reality, and the two don't have a 1:1 relationship. And historically, trying to censor just things we've decided are bad has done nothing but get LGBTQ+ and POCs censored. Therefore, depictions of illegal things shouldn't be censored." That's it. "Proshippers all ship problematic ships," is a brazen lie. Many of them share other fans' disgust for those ships, they just don't believe in censoring fic authors over it.

It is also taking a stand against harassment because--and I hope my own story has helped drive this home--as with all groups who adopt ingroup/outgroup thinking, antis are defined by their tactics, not actual stances on real, serious issues. What happened to me was absolutely a result of anti, "it's okay to 'bully out' anything I just don't like" mindset pervading fandom. In a way, this was the mindset's final form. They didn't even feel the need to cite a reason the trope was "bad" or "wrong"; it annoyed them, and they viewed their own feelings as a valid enough pathway for policing to go right ahead and do so.

In the interest of offering solutions instead of just bitching about problems, I might make a "how to know if you've bought into these types of views"-type post sometime. Also might come back to this and provide some sources/citation.

[thefandomenchantress]

Chapter 2 Episode 15 Spoilers below!

Since Ace being the culprit has brought about so much pain to ace lovers, including me, I figured I'd make a list of all the good things that him being the culprit brings to us. Even though Ace will (probably) be executed next episode, that doesn't mean that nothing good came out of this, right?

-Ace's backstory may be revealed much sooner than expected! Before we would've had to wait for chapter 3 or chapter 4 and so on, but since Ace will be gone soon, almost everything not revealed next episode will get told to us in a bonus episode! (I think every dead person gets one of those? Idk if that's officially confirmed). I doubt Teruko's gonna find, like, Ace's diary in chapter three detailing his life story, so if we're ever getting the Taylor Lore™, it'll be in a bonus episode! Plus, a bonus episode would come out a lot faster than the whole of chapter three, so more Ace content sooner no matter what happens in it! And there's always the chance he gets picked for an FTE, since dead people are on the list of options.

-Ace canonically has neat, fancy handwriting. Begone rumors of Ace having illegible, traditionally boy-ish handwriting, he actually writes like a 19th century scholar and I find this very funny. More evidence for my 'Ace likes reading and writing and wanted to become a romance author' crack theory, since he also reenforced his particularness about vocabulary in chapter 2 part 2. (Our only remaining question: Does Ace actually have terrible spelling ('responsibel'), or did he just think Eden would?)

-Ace is very good at being sneaky and often overhears things he shouldn't. I can't wait for this to be used as a plot device in numerous fics ("XANDER YOU'LL NEVER GUESS THE SHIT I JUST HEARD DAVID SAY ABOUT YOU WHEN HE THOUGHT HE WAS ALONE").

-Ace will have to be included in the dead (formerly a) trio posts forevermore. Get ready for Xander-Min-Arei-Ace shenanigans.

-Now that the cast has been forced to acknowledge that being dumb and angry aren't Ace's only traits and that he's just as human as the rest of them, Ace is much less likely to be seen as just those two things by the average viewer. Ace's popularity, or at least the amount of dislike towards him, seems to have shifted since the last episode, and I'm happy more people are able to enjoy what his character has to offer now. He's a cool little guy. I've literally NEVER seen the Ace Markey tag this busy before.

-We got so many cool Ace CGs guys. SO MANY. Including one where he's hanging upside down on the swing set and looks weirdly cute for someone in the middle of a murder plan.

-Also new sprites! The DRDTdev gave Ace a redesign knowing full-well that it would only get a singular chapter of use, and I massively respect that. We already got some new sprites in part 2 of chapter 2 so far, and I'm guessing next episode he'll probably have at least one more breakdown sprite before he dies.

-For someone who no one in the cast liked, he's definitely going to leave an impact. He's finally made at least some of the cast realize what happens when they ignore the issues right in front of them. Ace shouts about how everyone hates him and sees him as an insufferable idiot? Eh, probably nothing, we don't have to worry about that. Sure, multiple people told him he's gonna die next in here, and he almost got murdered, but that won't amount to anything. What's he gonna do, murder someone--WAIT SHIT Ace step away from the Arei I repeat step away from the Arei-- (plus Teruko parallels). I'll probably go more in-depth about this sort of thing in a different post.

-WE NEVER GOT TO SEE WHAT'S UNDER HIS GLOVES. Kyoko and Mukuro both had hand-related secrets that connected them to the plot later on, does that mean Ace will have some sort of relevance to the mastermind or overall lore later on? Like a Mai tattoo situation? (Or maybe it's another thing that may be alluded to or discussed in the bonus episode)(Or left to interpretation but I hope not because I have so many theories).

If you have any more suggestions for other good Ace-related things the culprit reveal brought us, let me know and I can add them to the list! We need as many good things as we can think of right now...

[moongothic]

I don't even know how to start this post, I've been just thinking about this concept of like... "Role Redundancy" in One Piece, regarding the OG Shichibukai. A lot of it does come from people just speculating about Crocodile's past and future role in the story, and how often I do kind of feel like certain suggestions/ideas feel somewhat too redundant, as the idea may have already been done with another one of the Warlords if not multiple. (An example of this could be the "former slave" theory, because we already have two former slaves amongst the OG Shichibukai; the fact that Crocodile would then be the THIRD one makes me less likely to believe the theory personally.)

And that just made me wonder even more about how, when you think about it, a lot of the Warlords do actually have stuff in common with one-another, but only to a limited degree. Like there is what almost feels like intentional redundancy amongst these characters and their roles, but it's done carefully so they're not too repetetive?

And to really visualize the connections... I had to make a chart

(Could've added a "Tried to kill Luffy" but literally the only characters who wouldn't fall into that bubble would be Jimbei and Kuma, so it felt a little unnecessary)

Now this is just what I could think of very quickly at the top of my head, you probably could figure out more "Role Redundancies" between these characters. But figuring out all the theoretical connections/similarities between the characters isn't as important as noting how, yeah, most of those similarities are only shared once or twice between characters. They get repeated, but not so much they become actually reduntant in the story (personal feelings/relationship with Luffy aside, that one is quite natural to repeat after all) Also interesting how Crocodile seems to have The Most Shit going on with him, to the point the only characters he doesn't really seem to have one-on-one similarities to are Moria and Hancock

I don't really have a point to this post, I just thought it was interesting to think about and try to visualize. And I do wonder if this could be used to like, try to predict where the story is going, somehow? But yeah, just something to chew on

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Perfect Propose - final thoughts

Another absolutely stellar series from Japan. It's so interesting to think about my favorite QLs from each country, and why they all appeal in different ways. When it comes to Japan, there's something about the quiet nuance, the depth of feeling hidden beneath social nicety, the things that don't have to be completely spelled out to be understood, and in the end, the desire for connection and love to be given its rightful place above work and status.

I did a post last week that really highlights what I love about the themes in this show, and how relatable I find it to my own life experience. And considering it's been one of my more popular posts recently, I think I'm not the only one who feels seen by a critique of capitalistic culture and an expression of longing.

I don't want to repeat what I said there, so I just want to highlight a few additional things that I think made this series work really well.

I talked a lot about Hiro previously, because I've literally lived his experience (though not quite as extreme) but I do love that Kai also had his own journey here. He'd been abandoned his whole life, and his one major connection outside of Hiro was someone who couldn't outwardly express affection. Kai struggled to see what value he could bring to someone else, and feared doing damage just by his presence. He hoped for Hiro's acceptance, but was resigned to rejection. Hiro letting down his walls let Kai understand that he truly mattered, and that no matter how futile life may feel sometimes, him being there meant something to Hiro.

I like that we get a follow up with the coworkers, and see that they still have a great relationship with both Hiro and Kaneko. It's so easy to think that we are irreplaceable, or that we are abandoning people, but those who truly care about you will only be happy for your decision - and maybe it will help them seek happiness of their own (I like to think they have all quit by now).

I like that it ended with a little bit of heat, to show that Hiro wasn't just making this choice out of loyalty, but that he genuinely has desire for Kai. (Not at all saying shows have to have heat to show love, just that in this particular case, it worked to show it was an equal relationship in terms of want).

Cons - we never got to see the supervisor get punched in the face. Special episode? Just one minute will do!

[sophietv]

What’s your thought about “Kaylor: The timeline”

I’ve just ended it and I’m pretty positive that’s something fishy with that. I mean there are literally the lyrics of songs from Reputation and Lover, the concepts of both of these albums and also everything seems to fall into the right place and the insights are so accurate.

I don’t know if it’s just me and I’m clowning around or it’s obvious to you too (?)

It's funny that you ask me this question because my group chat made me read this fanfic at the start of the year to see what I would think about this.

For those who don't know what we are talking about. Here's the link (X).

It's a fanfic that people heavily speculate is written by Taylor. As there's many Koincidences and references to albums that were not released when it came out.

The fanfic was started in February 1st 2015 and the last chapter was posted on May 27th 2016.

At first I was VERY skeptic. Because when you read it with that lense and go to the comments and it's full of people saying things like: Look! She talked about grass it's a reference to Invisible String!!

Well, it was not very convincing. 😅

But then I got the the part where Karlie and her are going to the restaurant and Taylor compares her life to being in a fishbowl...

Then, there's so many tiny details that are, well really precise.

Like at some point in the Timeline they are talking about a moment Taylor was very jetlaggued and wrote an email to Scott Borchetta telling him that she does what she wants.

Well, there was a tweet that Taylor made, with this exact caption.

And the date on the Timeline is the exact same as the tweet.

But those can all be just a very dedicated fan that did their research.

It's been a long time since I read it so I don't remember all the details.

But then....

There is a scene that is exactly : "I'm laughing with my lover, making fort undercover, trust him like a brother, yeah you know I did one thing right".

I repeat that the last chapter was written in May 2016...

That's references to Call It What You Want.

Her song about the Love Blackout and running away with Karlie...

And in that chapter (or really not long after), she's EXACTLY talking about the love blackout....well running away with Karlie.

Not only that.

She's talking about taking a break from big releases after 1989, to be just with Karlie and not release another album like planned. 🤨

She's asking Karlie to run away with her. Somewhere they can just be them. And Karlie says yes.

To tell you my jaw dropped when I read that....

Go read my Love Blackout post if you haven't to have the full 🤯 effect (X)

And read the last part of that chapter... (X)

They talked about coming out together if everything went well until Decembre 2014....Karma....

Now. You know that I tried to dig a little to see if I could find something.

Sadly I've found nothing.

The author have a Tumblr and A LOT of posts. Taylor would have had to create a whole other personna before creating that fanfic. (X)

The author also have other fanfics.

So is it really odd all the references to album that were not released yet? Definilty.

Is it impossible to be Taylor that wrote that? I guess not.

But I really can't tell honnestly.

But the Love Blackout plan and delaying album release to run away with Karlie is jarring. As well as the Call It What You Want reference and Lover fishbowl.

There's more, but those three are the ones that stuck with me.

Things that makes less sense though: Dianna earasure, Haylor being real. Joshlie being real.

Although. If we want to clown... this could have been a way to protect all those people and create a believable storyline that would have given them the chance to come out together....

So yeah... One of Gaylors/Kaylors greatest mystery.

That and The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo...

[pomefioredove]

hello hello miss dove ! congratulations on your 500 followers :)

if it's convenient for you, could i please exclude lilia and trey (not to be rude to them i just don't like trey and lilia is an old man basically)

i'm not the best with describing myself but i'll try (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

on the mbti personality test, i am an istp, so from that, i would guess that i'm pretty blunt? idk. i can't really handle situations well, so i practically just go into blunt blank slate mode where i'm just like "you do you ig"

when in the case i am handling the situation with mild proficiency or i like the subject, i can seem quite energized. i always move may hands around or am jumping (i think is how you would describe it? idk, sort of similar to when you're going like |┘^^|┘but up and down and also bouncing like wawawawa)

i am however, easily distracted and procrastinate often. it's not like i do it on purpose but things get boring and i want to do other things but i feel a moral obligations to do the boring things and then i get stuck in that cycle for half an hour (i'm not sure shy, i was told adhd but i'm not diagnosed) i still get straight A though (my mom says i was a stem kid (science technology engineering math))

i <333 sleep but sleep with another person in close proximity is a no no. personal space please and thank you

physical contact?? in theory yes, but actually no

sleep <3

lyney and furina?? i am literally a star trust i am furina and lyney combined that got isekaid to this world (trust)

interest (romance wise)? lyney <3

i am talking too much about myself im sorry

i enjoy video games (too much) like genshin, hsr, twst(trust) pjsk or visual novels, and I have a nice little kirara box from genshin that i made ^^ i like collecting things that i like (cute stuff), watching anime that interest me (cooking anime <3) and food, because food is good, but if i eat too much food i will feel ＞︿＜ and i don't like feeling nasty. baked goods taste good but not too sweet or else the nasty forms. i can also play instruments !! (violin, contrabass, piano, currently semi-learning viola and cello, i can hold a flute correctly)

sadly i get sick all of the time (my friends have said "you have no immune system" or "sickly victorian child" exact words) but that's a lie im too good to get sick (not real)

i almost had a black belt in taekwondo but i didn't like taekwondo so i left (also covid happened but that's not important)

should i also describe myself? i will, but please ignore this bit if you don't need it

im not tall, but not incredibly short (~160cm) i've been told that i have pretty eyes (hazel) but me personally i just think that they look like standard eyes, they do their job well enough (they are not good at their job my eyes cannot see and i need glasses (contacts are scary)) i have very dark black hair that fades into, you guessed it, dark dark brown hair. (my mom once described it as soft black but idk) its styled like gaming's hair from genshin but a little bit longer (i like to think i look very neutral but i look like a female)

my lifestyle i think is pretty normal. i go to school, go to weekly math or coding club, go home and do work, p r o c r a s t i n a t e, sleep repeat until weekend where i life is a void of forgetfulness and then FUWUASHSH!! monday again. in my free time i do enjoy occasionally baking and traveling (japan !!)

oh no its long i'm sorry i rambled on too much :( please don't take this request if you are too busy i don't want you to feel overwhelmed. if you do want to write for this, then i will be dutifully watchin your posts to see anything familiar (‘-‘*ゞ i'm sorry if everything in this request sounds weird, i am not good with my english. please take care of yourself and have a great happy awesome super delicous wonderhoy day !!

-person who loves your work

I match you with 𝐒𝐞𝐛𝐞𝐤 𝐙𝐢𝐠𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐭

The First Impression:

Sebek is... Sebek. He can be a little hard to get through to at times, even if his core intentions are good. And he doesn't exactly leave a good impression on a lot of people... not that he means to. Perhaps it's your bluntness, or your nonchalant attitude towards him, but for whatever reason, he doesn't immediately write you off.

Why He Fell:

You guys will kill me for this but Sebek is a little cutie. A little fanboy. He's also jumping up and down like wawawawa when he gets excited. He has a lot of growing to do, but if there's anything admirable about him, it's that once you're close to him, he will care about you forever. (Whether he'd like to admit that or not).

Though, truly, he admires you. You're obviously intelligent, you're honest (AKA blunt, but so is he), you have experience in martial arts... somehow, he finds himself watching his tone more around you, and shelving his boisterous, over-confident persona.

The Relationship:

No touching, no problem. Sebek is already getting used to this whole "dating" thing (not that he can't handle being eternally devoted to another person... look at the guy), and he might even breathe a sigh of relief when you say you don't have to sleep in the same bed.

Sebek is... protective, and that's an understatement. He loves people fiercely, and isn't shy about it. You can expect lots of attention and worry and care, especially as someone who gets sick a lot. He will insist on doing everything for you. He'll make an attempt to keep you on task when you need it, too, though he might not be as great at preventing you from overexerting yourself (as he is with himself!)

[fernlessbastard]

Just thought I'd send you some positivity and thoughts, after reading your stories. (They were just wonderful, by the way).

I love the way you depicted Wilbur. A man who has longed for physical touch, attention, and (honestly) Quackity, for thirteen years. God the way you depict him is absolutely splendid. I couldn't have done it better!

Making him desperately beg for Quackity's time because even though he's a prick who wants nothing more than to be on top, he also lacks that attention that only Quackity can give him.

Versus Quackity who is stand offish. Had only ever been hurt physically. It takes him awhile to let Wilbur touch him, to open his walls and allow them to break down enough for Wilbur to slip inside of that crack. It's so gorgeous.

I love them so much, and you are such an awesome writer I hope to read more by you. [:

-🎲 anon

;-; thank you so muchhhh you made my entire week with this

I was planning to post chapter 2 over the weekend but I didn't have enough time to edit and all that, so instead I'll try to post it this week between Wednesday and Sunday

It's actually so frustrating, cause it's literally basically ready. I edited it thoroughly already, and had it beta read, but then during that I had it pointed out that I overused/repeated like three or four words (it's over 7k words so unfortunately unintentional repetition is easy) so I had to decide where to keep them and where and with what to replace them. So now I could honestly post it already, but I just have to make sure the changes don't impact the flow, so I need to find the time for both myself and my partner (who's my beta reader) to separately read it quickly in one go

Like I wish so hard I wasn't such a perfectionist cause it's genuinely ready to get posted and the likelihood that something's still even slightly wrong is tiny, but noooo, I still gotta perfect it to my very last breath or something

Anyway I'm not trying to justify myself (I know you're all great and respectful, guys, dw), but I'm more so just kinda venting cause it's an irritating situation

I just want to post it for you already ok I'm excited to read your comments and asks and all of that - reading your thoughts (whatever they may be, even more negative) always a highlight of my whole month (just, having people engage with my art✨✨✨)

Oh also just as a last little note: if you think I've already portrayed Quackity as a hurt, traumatised man, then you're not ready for the rest of IUTMTM--(/lh/aff/pos) Let me tell you they both need therapy bad and the worst kind of miscommunication is misplaced trauma response responded to with another trauma response-- There will be pain

[futturmangamez]

Warning: this is a longggg post😅😅

Another ooc post..shh ik yall want futturman not me just GIVE ME A MIN LMAO. U may or may not know this account is 5 months old now (very woo..very wow) I mentioned in my last post it def has been a major twist in my life, considering the fact I'm literally acting like one of my fav fictional characters basically 99.9 % of the time haha. Yes, there has been MANY awesome great things that come with this account, but there has also been lots of negative (unfortunately but hey hey hey dw we move onnn!! big swagarooneyyy ya feel me lemon peppas??🤙) This is another reminder, a very important one, that yes even tho this is a roleplay account and the purpose is that it's supposed to literally be josh, pls remember I am UNFORTUNATELY not josh futturman😩😩😩😩(I mean fuck we r very similar but..) I am a human behind the screen, not ai. Pls be respectful..this includes to ALL. Roleplay accounts. Clearly I'm ok with a loT on this account (aka silly reblogs, spicy dms, very nsfw asks u name it) but as a human who has human experiences I am not alwayssss able to comply to some things and that's ok. There r pros and cons to running an account like this..sometimes u wake up to 50+ notifs, sometimes u wake up to 0. If for some reason I miss or don't reply to ur post, it's very possible it got lost in the sea on notifs, I seen it and told myself I'd get back to it when I had a proper futturman-like reply(happens but i do get back within the week), and/or I ignored it bc it made me uncomfy/confused. Usually in that last case it's because I'm aware ur a minor and u replied to a nsfw post in an even more nsfw manner (tss tss haha). If u really want josh to see a post, feel free to tag him, I'm not against that😁 Sometimes as a roleplayer (other ppl have agreed) that it can feel pressuring to run our pages and keep up with the notifications and dms, so pls pls have patience. And if u dont get quick replies back or begin to grow angry bc josh does not dm u the way u may have wanted or something, respectfully maybe touch grass aha..I am doing my best. There were some past followers that soley used my character for sex purposes and if that's what u want, there are PLENTY of ai platforms u can run and cum to as many times as you'd like🔥🔥(yes some shit is allowed but lets not only hmu to help u rub one out😅..josh is flattered tho LMFAO)somedays ofc we all get posters block (similar to writers or art block..I just made this up haha) especially to the accounts that have been around for longer..we r doing our best trying to come up with unique ideas to keep the characters alive without repeating the same content over and over😅so also to those who help throw cool stuff in our inbox to open new doors and ideas for the character, thanks a million..a roleplay account continues to live from both parties. On that note, the jhutch fandom is lowkey dying atm, especially the tumblr one. I completely understand whether ur hyperfixation is dying or u r busy with school/personal life..I hope u guys understand that I can be busy too, hence why some days I am not as active as other days. I've also contemplated deleting this account a lot of times due to the fact that I can get overwhelmed sometimes+I feel silly role-playing a character when I myself am even more of a loser than josh haha so I'm always like 😃wtf am I doing josh hutcherson would probably think I'm insane for this😃 ofcourse I'm not sure if this is like..the maturist thing to do at my grown ass age but whateva😅if I do decide to take any breaks in the future pls don't be mad☹️

So yea um..ik that was a whole fucking lot of a mess but I feel like I had to get those points out b4 I continued this account and I really hope u guys can respect & understand my feelings..if not ☺️dm me what u don't like. I'd LOVE. To have a conversation with u about what u don't like about my account that i run🙈 if ur seeing this, thank u for taking the time out to read all of this. Means a lot to me to know I've made atleast one person in the jhutch fandom smile thru my page💛

-sincerely 🃏

[sssssaarn]

Hi there! Today is day 10/11 (I missed a day so I'm trying to catch up)!

First post, tag on blog.

General #2: 10. Kintype(s): Common misconceptions

I've already talked a bit at length about the giant misconceptions surrounding 'alpha' wolves, and how I absolutely hate the trope in all its forms. So, for the sake of not repeating myself, I'll simply skip over that misconception.

Another very common misconception is one I see with crows; that being, that crows 'like' or prefer shiny objects. This is just… Untrue. Yes, crows are quite varied personality-wise just like humans are, and so of course there may be some specific crows that do prefer shiny objects… But there's just as much of a chance of crows absolutely hating shiny objects. It depends on the crow!

Saarn, as well as the nälkä religion as a whole… Have a massive amount of misconceptions, even on the official SCP website itself! Probably the most glaringly painful and incorrect if you do one minute of research yet is still somehow wide-spread misconception I can think of is that the nälkä are Yaldabaoth worshippers… Ignoring the fact that we literally want to kill Yaldabaoth, are we also just completely forgetting Ion here? Ion is closer to being the 'worshipped deity' of the nälkä religion than Yaldabaoth ever was.

General #1: 11. If you’re out, talk about the most accepting person you’ve come out to. If you’re not out, talk about what you would hope a coming out experience would be like.

Funny enough, I just 'came out' to one of my moms about being fictionkin today. I didn't use the exact same language/wording (for example, I didn't just say 'I am fictionkin of Klavigar Saarn' because I knew she likely wouldn't even know what fictionkin are or who Saarn is), I more or less used similar concepts that she already knew to explain myself. Since she is already a very spiritual person, she didn't even question it, and even encouraged me to talk about my source. She even listened to the possibility that I might've been Saarn multiple times over. I feel like it was pretty close to what I would want a coming out experience like that to be.

General #2: 11. Community: Online

I am… A bit conflicted by the current state of the online otherkin community.

On one hand, there are definitely some enjoyable beings I've met here! On the other, I do feel that, the Tumblr community especially, has become less carefree? As in, there is a certain tense atmosphere around worrying if what you say is 'wrong', especially from newer/younger members. I can unfortunately completely understand this feeling, speaking from personal experience I can tell how it is choking out the creativity from newer/younger folks.

I recently read 'The Dragonheart Collective's Testimony on the KFF Phenomenon', and as I mentioned in a small ramble post of mine, I feel like the combination of the rise of KFF and cringe culture certainly has not helped the atmosphere of the community. And thus why I also think why so many fictionkin prefer to share their experiences on 'kinfession' blogs, because it's safer and easier.

I wasn't actually around in the community during the period of either KFF or cringe culture, but I was heavily into cringe culture in self-shipping (AKA 'Sans fangirls') and fandom spaces, and I can certainly tell you that both self-shipping and fandom communities have decidedly gotten worse (TikTok also didn't help, but that came far later). This could, as always, be nostalgia putting rose-tinted glasses on for me, but I always remember fandoms before cringe culture being more out-going, more free, and definitely more cringe. All of this made them more fun.

But after cringe culture, I remember how fandoms seem to go… Quiet? In a way? Basically, people are afraid of interacting with each other now, everyone is keeping each other at arm's length.

All's this to say, the 'quieting' of fandom spaces is reminding me of the 'quiet' of current alterhuman spaces, and it makes me very sad.

[formayhem]

5 Songs Tag - QL Shows Edition

Created by @troubled-mind (see the original chart-like list and the first 5 QL Song Tag entry).

The rules:

When you get this, list 5 songs from Asian QL shows that you actually listen to.

🎶 They do not have to be custom-made for the series.

🎶 Non-western tracks only. Let's support Asian music and languages!

🎶 Feel free to tag anyone who may be interested in participating.

🎶 Add #5qls tag to your post for others to find the new favourites!

I will definitely go over 5 because I am horrible at absolutes. Absolutely terrible. I guess that's my only absolute? That I absolutely can't stay in the confines of a limit. Yeah.

So, here we go.

You are my baby(＋正負之間 plus & Minus》片頭曲

Plus and Minus

It's nothing to write home about, but it's feel good and I always caught myself not skipping the intro and singing along (lol) during the scenes it started up.

Sweet but Naughty - Fluke Gawin

The Warp Effect

The theme here is that I like FUN songs. But, okay, yeah, I can actually sing a long to this one easier (since I know what's being said). Plus it's Gawin. I just love him, alright.

Who - Wetter

The Eighth Sense

I like all three songs from this band in the series. However, I like "Love Is All Around" an awful lot and I guess I owe it to this show for introducing us. 🤝

หนุ่ย อำพล - ยังไงก็โดน

3 Will Be Free

This has actually made it to playlists unrelated to BL (like my writing themed ones). I'm a huge fan of this 80s/90s sound, and it's just so versatile. The whole series had an amazing soundtrack.

Why Don't You Stay (World Tour Version) - Jeff Satur

KinnPorsche

Me: I LOVE FUN

Also Me: (puts on this anthem to do dishes)

It is probably over chosen, so I chose the version that's been on *my* repeat list: the world tour & English version. Dude has fantastic vocals.

Slow Motion - 77Ke 棨棋

About Youth

I've had this song for (literally) a day, and I've already listened to it tooooo many times. I'm not sure if there are any other good ones from this series yet, but this is joining the rotation. 😎

กีดกัน (Skyline) - Billkin

I Told Sunset About You

Oh, like everyone didn't see THAT coming. There isn't anything to say about this one, except EVERYTHING. I love it, your honor, truly, madly, deeply doooooo

Special mention to this non-asian track:

I'll Understand - Roza

Not Me & About Youth

I know I JUST said I love FUN songs, and now I'm sharing another hit from the saddest shit known to man. It's good though. The lyric " cause when you travel light, some things are left behind" haunts me endlessly.

Also, basically ALL of Not Me and ITSAY's soundtracks, thank you.

Thanks for the tag @twig-tea!

[kamianya-ttv]

A Yom Kippur thread on teshuva, repentance, and apologies.

I wrote this awhile ago on twitter, and it’s still very relevant:

So. Teshuvah. Repentance. Literally "returning"

What does this mean? What does it look like? And why am I talking about this on main, not just to my fellow Jews?

There's been a lot of conversation about apologies and about taking accountability for hurting people/making mistakes. This has been especially prevalent in streaming spaces lately (when I wrote this last year), both with creators and game companies/developers.

This means I've been thinking a lot about all of this, as we go into the holiest day of the Jewish calendar, focused on exactly this.

So what does it mean to repent? Why is the word for it "return"? And why do I feel this template is so important?

So to start with, Teshuvah has three main steps:

1) Regret

2) Confession

3) Committing to not repeating the sin

Note: sin in Judaism is complicated, but is not really the same as sin in Christianity.

Short form on sin in Judaism is three terms:

Chet = mistake

Avaira = Transgression, crossing a line, going too far

Avon = Iniquity, more serious than a mistake or line cross, but still not a "you are damned to hell" type of thing

So lets look at the steps to Teshuvah, one by one.

1) Regret

To do Teshuva you need to regret the actions you did and harm you have done. This means understanding what you did, and actively genuinely accepting the fact that you did something wrong.

2) Confession

This means a few things. You need to be able to articulate what you did wrong. Part of this is the apology. I'll get to a good apology later, but a core piece is that you are apologizing with accountability, and that the person you hurt may not forgive you.

Importantly, you can not be apologizing in order to get forgiveness. And your teshuvah must continue whether or not the person forgives you.

3) Committing to not repeating the sin.

This is extremely important, and really the key part of teshuvah, of returning. It is not teshuvah to make the mistake, go through steps 1 and 2, and then repeat the same mistake. This means active work.

Step 3 requires true understanding of what you did (also key to steps 1 and 2) and figuring out how to keep from repeating it. Depending on what it was, it may mean self reflection, reading, talking with people, watching relevant videos, etc. But again, the key part is that work and doing your utmost to grow and move on and not repeat it.

Which can be hard! Teshuvah can be hard!

All of this requires being willing to listen and hear and change.

To me, this is all really important, & a big piece of how I try to live my life. It's also what I look for in others.

We're human, we make mistakes. How you deal with those mistakes is so key. When we're here, in this public space, especially if we have any level of platform. We have to be ready to accept it when we fuck up.

I truly believe the steps of teshuvah are the steps needed. I also believe that these are the pieces of a proper apology.

An apology in this light:

Here's what I did wrong, here's me taking accountability and accepting I hurt people, here's how I commit to fixing my mistake/not making that mistake again.

Again, it also must be an apology because you are acknowledging wrong, not because you are feeling pressed into it, not to get people off your back, not to appease. It must be made with the awareness you may not be forgiven, and committing to continue the work no matter what.

There's another key part to Yom Kippur that I think is little known but I think is important. Which is acknowledgement of communal mistakes. Over Yom Kippur we have a lot of confessions, and a lot takes the form of "WE have done A, WE have done B.” This is an important conversation and I plan to write a post on this later, but I also think that it's part of what should be on our minds. I think it aligns with understanding privilege and societal complicity.

So, that's all for now, But I have more Yom Kippur thoughts coming.

[faradaykay]

HELLO i was tagged by rumi my friend rumi @ultimaid AND trix my friend trix @gh0str3c0rd3r for ten songs i have been listening to recently! (ok but just in advance you can't make fun of me for my lame ass music OKAY peace and love on planet earth)

SO IF YOU REMEMBER POPPY (she got really popular for her really strange youtube videos a very long time ago) she is actually one of my FAVORITE music artists EVER and this is her newest song!!! her music style is really unique and cool KINDA weirdly halfway between pop and metal IT'S SO COOL i'll actually PROBABLY bring her up again on this post tbh but!!!! YEAH LISTEN TO CHURCH OUTFIT and her new song that's coming out next week!!

so i've actually really really loved prince since middle school and i've been relistening to a lot of the songs i liked back then lately and this has to be ONE OF MY FAVORITES... it's not a very popular one but the lyrics FUCK SEVERELY imo, i'm a huge fan of "if i was your one and only friend, would you run to me if somebody hurt you, even if that somebody was me?"

this song is like. it may be my actual favorite piece of sapphic music EVER i love the lyrics, i love the vibes, it fits sosososo many ships and i literally listen to it SOOOO much, ask me what songs i've been listening to at any given time and this will be ON THE LIST

ALSO ONE OF MY FAVORITE SAPPHIC SONGS EVER AND WITH SUMMER COMING UP I HAVE HAD IT ON REPEAT!!!! perfect for summer, perfect for lesbians, perfect for me, a lesbian who has been calling it "hot girl summer" for weeks now (even tho it's april)

ANOTHER POPPY SONG okay so i LOVE her whole am i a girl? album SO MUCH but this is my favorite song off of it and one of the ones i listen to on repeat the most SO I TOTALLY RECOMMEND bc the lyrics and style are just SO COOL but also go listen to the whole album and i will love you forever

i honestly just listened to this recently bc i randomly remembered the nostalgia so i wouldn't necesssarily Recommend It if it doesn't give you fond memories of being in fifth grade like it does to me BUT to this day it's just super cute and super mecore

TO MAKE A VERY LONG ERA OF MY LIFE SHORT basically i had this like. CRAZY michael jackson hyperfixation in middle school. and i have obviously grown out of it BUT this is still one of my favorite songs ever and is still one i listen to all the time. the lyrics are simple but they scratch an itch in my brain and it's really beautiful. I WILL ACTUALLY also put the youtube link for this one bc the version on the michael album was released posthumously and i really think the overproduction takes away from what makes the song so beautiful. SO I RECOMMEND THE ORIGINAL INSTEAD (i love you sven nelson channel with all the rare demos and original versions of michael's stuff)

OK SORRY FOR PUTTING POPPY AGAIN BUT I COULDN'T NOT PUT THIS ONE even tho it's her most mainstream song it's also by far my most looped one bc IT'S JUST SO FUN and upbeat and nice to listen to, it was my top song in 2022 and i still loop it all the time!!! definitely give it a listen (BUT ALSO CHECK OUT THE REST OF THE ALBUM BC YOU HAVE PROBABLY HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE BUT REALLY THE REST OF THE ALBUM IS SO GOOD AND A LOT OF THE OTHER SONGS ARE A LOT MORE UNIQUE STYLISTICALLY AND LYRICALLY)

I'M SORRY FOR INCLUDING GLEE I'M SORRY I SWEAR IT'S JUST THE ONE bc this is like. my favorite glee song EVER. brittana literally made me who i am today when i was a confused queer middle schooler who wasn't allowed to have access to most queer media SO THIS SONG IS VERY SPECIAL TO ME OKAY and listening to it on repeat for hours is an ultimate therapeutic experience so i've highkey been doing it nonstop recently

janet jackson is so cool i'd actually marry her. anyways i have had this song on loop and have listened to it at least 50 times in the last week.... IT FUCKS SO SEVERELY songs i could sing sosososo loud word for word

I AM BLANKING ON WHO I COULD TAG BC THIS ALREADY WENT AROUND MY MUTUAL CIRCLES but if you want to do it then YOU SHOULD thumbs up

[cicelythereaper]

1, 25, 29 for the asks?

(in response to this post; THANK YOU for asking and sorry for taking so long to respond!)

wow, these questions do not pull their punches huh! okay i guess my answers would be:

1: what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

i'm so glad this question doesn't say THE three things or THE MOST IMPORTANT three things or i would be sitting here from now until doomsday. however if i just get to pick three things on a whim then:

unfortunate as it may be, i'd feel dishonest if i didn't say reading harry potter at age 6. it was unquestionably the thing that made me go "i want to do that, i want to tell stories like that". like i can pinpoint the point at which baby cicely said "i want to be a writer" and it was, like, the day after reading philosopher's stone for the first time.

visiting the llŷn peninsula at age... i wanna say 10? this did not necessarily set me on the path towards being a Welsh Nerd but it DID start me on the path towards being a Hill Enthusiast. i can literally remember the drive in as it got darker and darker, seeing those huge hills looming out of the distance and feeling like i was possessed by something bigger than myself. we'd been before but something about this particular drive (and also coldplay blasting on the car speakers as we went) feels formative to me

you know what? running across katherine by anya seaton in a holiday cottage in northern ireland in 2009. the book itself did not leave a deep imprint on my psyche but it did make me aware of the existence of julian of norwich and THAT is still shaping my psyche even now

25: fave season and why?

i'm always torn between spring and autumn, but spring, i think. i love autumn rain and spring rain equally (rain is an important factor to me in a season, i am a rain stan) but spring rain comes with that feeling of softness and clear air, and also in spring i get to track the passage of time by which flowers come out when, and that's important to me.

29: what do you do when you’re sad?

depends if i can muster the executive function to self-soothe effectively. if no, then the answer is basically "lie in bed, scroll on phone". if yes, then i might watch a favourite video, reread a beloved childhood book, take myself out to a cafe for a mildly fancy overpriced lunch item which i did not have to cook, or - a fun new technique which i've been working on for the past couple of years - tell a friend or family member and be comforted and hear another human voice. i know! radical!

and at all times repeat unto myself the mantra, "in two weeks we'll have different problems". that one hasn't failed me yet.

[burning-sol]

Just. Talking under the cut.

Yesterday was weird. I keep going back on my thoughts unable to parse what is reality and what isn't and questioning whether what I did was reasonable. In hindsight, I do think it was right for me to feel gaslit. There were so many things that were off but I was scared and I couldn't say it where more than friends could hear.

It's weird to tell someone who's expressing that something was transphobic that "no it wasn't, actually it was very supportive!" And then you go on to talk about if I don't agree with the thing in question being accurate to trans women's experiencing, then I should read a comic called "gaslighting" where the trans character is being told by the other that what they experienced didn't happen.. That's obviously meant to be a parallel to me. And then when I feel provoked and point out how I feel like *I'm* being gaslit, I'm shut down.

I start getting picked apart for things like the fact I wrote transwomen as one word, I get told I'm transmisogynistic for treating the other in a way that wouldn't have been different if it were any other person, later I'm told that my figurative language of feeling "talked over" isn't literal for therefore I'm wrong, I'm told that my comic where there's TWO transfem characters where only one of them is behaving aggressively is transmisogynistic because I portrayed how I felt the interaction happened. There was also a post made where I think it was implied that I'm TME, which is transphobic to assume of strangers on the internet who you don't have any insight to the experiences of.

This might seem over dramatic but, being a victim of emotional abuse including repeated gaslighting, I feel like this experience of being undermined was something I accurately described in the words I did.

Also, there was a comment about how the other did not have the means to suppress my point of view... The individual in question stated she was a friend to a large blogger who has infinitely more reach than me. If the blogger hadn't been understanding and courteous to me, I could very much be harassed into silence. And as I've said before, I am a victim of gaslighting and emotional abuse as well as being psychotic, so I have struggles with recognising reality and am prone to letting others talk over me or insisting they know my reality better than I do. Most people around me, even if they don't realise, have more power over me than I like to think about.

I think there's also an unwillingness to realise that you DO have certain privileges that extend over me when it comes to being trans:

- As a closeted/non-transitioned trans person, there are situations where I may be talked over and excluded by other members of the community because I'm seen as not being trans enough or not trans yet.

- As a nonbinary trans person, people with binary (I know the term is flawed but please don't twist me words here) transitions may be considered the more "normal" trans person.

- As a fem presenting trans with masculine pronouns, evidently, others are always prone to making incorrect assumptions about me in both my offline and my online life, and then criticised because it's "too complicated to understand" compared to binary trans people.

I don't think I have it "harder" or "easier" than trans women, because certain experiences are too different to be comparable and changes from a case-to-case basis. One day, I might be praised for being cis unlike trans women because that's how I'm being percieved, another day, I might be insulted because I'm such a "clockable" tranny because that's how I'm being percieved. This is why I emphasise how weird it is to be marked as TME by someone who doesn't know me.

The entire exchange made me feel incredibly unsafe in my own community. If others can feel entitled to shut me down when I try to express I've been hurt by something I saw as transphobic, if people are allowed to label me as a transmisogynist because I was critical of them the exact same I would be of any other person.. I don't feel like there is room for me here. Or anywhere.

And to get personal, a part of why this entire thing was so triggering is specifically because I've been gaslit about my gender identity before. Like, this whole debacle just affirms my fears I should have never expected to feel accepted by the community, because it's not even real. I'm not real. How dare I say I'm trans and speak about trans things when I'm clearly not?

For the record, I don't think this person was "hysterical" or any other similarly disparaging words? I said what I said. I said she derailed the conversation, I said if felt like she was gaslighting me, I said it felt like she was impatient, I said it felt like she was speaking for someone else: it felt dismissive and even emotionally abusive. If I accept that what I did was entirely transmisogynistic and how dare I say ANY of it- that kind of mentality is the exact shit that's going to get me put in an abusive relationship again.

"How dare you complain that you felt gaslit by me, that's transmisogynistic!" <- If I internalise this then any abuser that comes along can exploit this critcism of my "morals" to shut me down, which is also very very vile to me having traits of moral OCD.

Just.. I don't know how to conclude this post. I'm hurt and I'm sad and I've struggling with my psychosis and considering just stopping calling myself trans all day. I just hope that this makes sense and it might be helpful to others if you've experienced something similar. Idk.

[eurydicees]

YOUR HAIKYUU SOULMATE AU IDEA IS SO GOOD???? It’s all I’ll think about now oh my god. KENHINA MY MOST BELOVEDS!! (That’s a lie 😭 BokuAka are my most beloveds of beloveds and then kenhina iwaoi kuroshou mikashou mikakuroshou and ushiten are all duking it out for second place)

But the idea that on one hand you’ve got kagehina are so platonic and start dreamsharing when kenhina have sort of been running to this thing between them, it’s so good. And kuroo who doesn’t believe in soulmates supporting Kenma—sort of saying hey, what you feel for HINATA and what he feels for you matters, you chose it, and this dream sharing thing isn’t like, a reason to backtrack——-it’s just so good. You’re brilliant, I will be thinking of this forever I fear

hehe thank you im so so glad you like it !!! im having SOOOOO much fun so far. i've made some little changes since i made that first post bc i am realizing that my original idea may have been galaxy brain conceptualizing but it was more than definitely goldfish brain plotting. which is to say, @ me: neat idea you've got there! no plot generated though. but i have IDEAS now, and you have accidentally invited me to share them all below the cut<3

so like im thinking about established kenhina break up/make up with platonic kagehina. and like kagehina r like well . we're soulmates ig. and so kenhina break up, until eventually everyone's like hey you guys, like, are not happy???? you know that it's an option to just, yk, not date???? and kagehina are like woah . anyways. back to the kenhina then <3

but yeah ok re: kuroo, i made some changes to his plotline because im insane about him. which is to say that i had a dream about this scene and then had to write it down and now it's out of my control and i'm attached to it.

so basically kuroo became the guy explaining all the worldbuilding lore via a conversation with kenma about the science of soulmates. so kuroo believes in them but in the sense that he dreams of kenma and kenma does not dream of him </3 and i am going to have FUN with that bullshit*

(*please note that there will be no unrequited kuroken. kuroo is just vibing. this is part of why he knows platonic soulmates are okay and allowed and encouraged. there WILL be kurodai. one day i WILL get my bingo on the list of kuroo ships.)

he's , like , really into the scientific explanations of everything, which is why he's so confident in going to kenma and being like hey bestie its ok to fall in love with hinata . soulmates are stupid . like its literally fine you can do whatever you want forever. kenma. kenma. kenma its ok.

anyways so we've got that going on in kenma world. then in hinata world i'm figuring out someone who is encouraging him w the platonic soulmate stuff. part of me wants oikawa because i love oikawa and then another part of me is like. lol. oikawa believes in soulmates b/c he has one so.

then the other part of me is like. well i can make this a saga. hinata goes to brazil and kenhina date. break up in brazil. hinata goes back to japan and is with kageyama. and then like. maybe its atsumu or bokuto who guides him to soulmate actualization or whatever? ooooh ok fun idea would be atsumu who is (VERY VERY SO MUCH platonic) soulmates w osamu, and who is , like, absolutely disgusted at the idea that soulmates "should" be romantic. and this is , like, a come to jesus moment for hinata, yk? just because he's never had anyone tell him that platonic soulmates were an option before .

hmmmmmmm

much to consider

anyways yeah so those are my new thoughts. i still want kuroo to be, like you said, encouraging kenma in the way that he's like, what you feel matters more than what you dream, the universe can tell you who your soulmate is but it can't tell you who you love. yk, like what hinata chooses when he's awake is so much more important than what he thinks of when he sleeps.

and i want smth similar for hinata but also not the same message repeated in the same way--hence maybe atsumu? bokuto could be interesting and would further my bokuto & hinata friendship agenda. we'll see !! i haven't NEARLY gotten that far yet.

overall, having fun !!! PLEASE continue to talk to me abt this!!!!