#but also i hope she stays away from any trans person for the rest of her life

[coff-in]

I fought with my ex partner (we’re (or, we were) friends) just because I like the game so I’m just going to request the first thing that comes to your mind

notes from coff-in: aw man, i'm sorry to hear that 'nonnie :( i'm not all that good at comforting strangers but i hope that you're able to enjoy the game still. this is jsut me rambling about my oc, i hope it makes you feel a little bit better or entertained

rambling, oc talk (amy "mimi" graves)

i've been mostly thinking about my oc amy lately. her relationship with nina is supposed to have made a big impact on her that persists after her death. nina was supposed to be her first friends outside of her siblings, a relationship that she would have to herself, you know? a more platonic (possible one-sided romantic) relationship rather than a familial one.

the romantic thing is something i've been focusing on too. mimi forms... really strong attachments to people. or maybe she just really liked nina, and it made nina's death disappearance more impactful to her. leyley's manipulation didn't help either since she told mimi that nina left because of her or something she did (though the reasoning was vague), mimi took it to heart and sort of internalized it.

nina and mimi's relationship wasn't the best because it was a friendship of convenience. they were both using each other for their own goals that weren't friendship or companionship (mimi was seeking it out, but she mostly just wanted to be able to have an outside life from andy and leyley [so she wouldn't feel like she was burdening them so even her outside life was for them] while nina was using mimi to get brownie points for andy's affection). i keep flip flopping their relationship in my head. i like the idea that over time, mimi and nina's relationship became something genuine and possibly sapphic (at least on mimi's side) and nina not reciprocating this feeling would cause mimi to close up and become more inward, i guess. on the other hand, i don't see nina hanging out with mimi any more than what she needed to in order to look good to andy. i'm pretty sure nina was older than leyley (she responds to leyley's plan of hide and seek with "you're such a kid" or something along those lines, which wouldn't make too much sense if her and leyley were the same age).

and since nina was mimi's main/only close friend outside of andy and leyley, the rest of mimi's social life kinda collapses after that. especially since mimi is associated with leyley, no one really wants to hang out with her either (i think her trans/queerness could also play a role in her isolation too, depending if you want to see the game's world as someplace harsh and cruel**). nina's disappearance affected mimi's grades, her mood and personality, and her self-image. what did she do so wrong that nina would just leave? what if she did it again? what she too much? was she too little? it would cause her to detach herself from having a social life... why bother if you're going to fuck up and they leave? it's better to just stay to yourself. if she needs to talk to someone she has andy and leyley to talk to (and even then, they could also leave her. they just can't because they're siblings and currently aren't old enough to move out. but they could. if her own parents don't love her then what's stopping her siblings from not loving her too?)

mimi and amy should feel different, even if it's subtle. nemlei is a remarkably great writer so it's a little hard trying to, uh, replicate her level of writing or depth in her characters. one difference in my head is that mimi likes having affection given to her ("i like hanging out with you" or "you're my best friend") while amy shies away from it (brushing it off or trying to deflect the complements to someone/thing else). having people tell amy that they like freaks her out so much that she screams and yells at them to take it back, to tell her that they think she's alright or the fucking worst or else she won't calm down. she doesn't want a repeat incident like nina again. she doesn't want to get so attached to someone that it'll hurt her when they inevitably leave. it's why she makes herself quiet and small (though she's naturally short), and by small i mean her presence. she doesn't have a lot of her own stuff and anything she has it kept tidy in a box somewhere under a bed or in a closet. her clothes are borrowed or handed down, they're in some sense not hers (even though they may belong to her currently).

i think of a scenario where andrew and ashley try to admit to amy that they like hanging out with her, that they don't want to leave her alone so they can live their own lives or whatever delusion amy tells herself is real. they love her. and she panics. she says "that's nice... thanks" or "if you say so" or maybe a "whatever you say, big bro/sis". the more persistent they are about it, the more aggressive amy gets until she's telling them to "shut up! shut up, shut up, shut up!" or "no! take it back, take it back!!" or even maybe "liar!!" she doesn't like it. how genuine they sound, the gentle looks they're giving her, the honesty in their voice. it's not real... it can't be real because if it is then it'll be more painful when they do leave. she's crying and sobbing as they hold her in their arms, "you can't do that! you can't do this to me..."

"you can't hurt me again... i can't... i can't..."

or you know, something like that. sorry if it doesn't make sense.

** i think queerphobia wouldn't be an uncommon thing to come across in the world of tcoaal, however i don't know if it would be so prevalent in elementary/middle school... i guess it could be since children tend to echo some bigotry that they hear from adults or others ("that's gay!" "you punch like a girl" said as something negative, etc etc)

----

coff-in

[astralbooks]

Earthbound Hearts - Alex Nonymous

Read: 23/12/2022

Rating: 5/5

Rep: asexual lesbian main character, autistic sapphic main character, f/f relationship, trans girl side character CW: negative self talk, implied autistic meltdown from pov of autistic character, accidental outing (not of a main character and only to one other person)

Review:

This book follows two girls, Skye and Sadie, childhood pen pals who despite falling for each other have solely communicated through email their entire lives. Now in their last year of high school, Skye manages to convince Sadie to come outside and meet her face to face for the first time, upon which Skye finds out that there was a very good reason why Sadie had until then spent most of her life indoors.

This book can be described as a love letter to stimming and other ways that autistic people authentically express themselves. Sadie is autistic. It isn't her autism that leads her to stay hidden away from the world, it's what comes of her being made to feel like she absolutely has to mask and keep all her autistic traits hidden. Throughout the book she grows in confidence and comfort in being herself, and the final line of the book had me smiling really really hard. Also there's a certain line that Sadie says near the end that upon reading it I had to stop and stare at my ceiling for a bit because I felt it so hard. Skye was also a really great character! She's driven, curious, academically successful due largely to the hard work she puts in towards achieving her goals, and she's rather unpopular with her teachers due to her unwillingness to be talked down to or treated like she's inferior. I had a lot of fun reading from her perspective! One of the most significant side characters is Skye's best friend Isaac. Isaac is a trans girl and the only person she's come out to at all is Skye. Nobody else knows that Isaac is trans, and she evidently hasn't chosen a new name yet and is at the point of the book is uncertain as to whether or not she's even going to. This is my first time seeing a character like Isaac and I really hope it's not the last. Trans people are under no obligation to tell everyone immediately, or change our names, or do anything if we don't want to or aren't ready to. At any given moment there are loads of real trans people out there who are in the same kind of in-between stage that Isaac is in, and they deserve to be acknowledged as well as the trans people who have everything figured out including a new publicly usable gender-matching name. There's room for all of us. Aside from her gender, Isaac is just a great character. She's the go-to leader of her and Skye's friendship group for very good reason. Also, Isaac being in this in-between stage in her transition is thematically resonant with the rest of the book. The group are in their last year of high school, they're about to start applying to universities, their friendship group may or may not survive graduation, and the relationship between Skye and Sadie is developing and changing rapidly. The whole book feels like a snapshot in the lives of the characters as they're just starting to become the people they're going to be, and I really loved that! I would highly recommend this book for anyone looking for queer contemporary with fantasy elements or who are looking for more autistic rep in the books they pick up

I received an early copy of this book prior to its publication in return for some feedback. Details may be different in the published version.

[c0g-machine]

✨️Girls✨️

Hey, I'm Dani. Haven't made an intro post yet but I might as well lol

Alot of the info is under the read more cus I do NOT want this long ass list to be taking up half my page

I'm a bi lesbian and a transsexual/salmacian (altersex), I started my process of detransitioning from being FTM/binary transmasc a few months ago but I still consider myself apart of the trans community, and I'm also Genderqueer & GNC. use only she/he pronouns for me. Any terms are fine but rn I perfer fem & neutral publically, masc terms are often reserved for my partners & my wife.

I'm 23 in system currently, my birthday is May 13th, but bodily we are 21 years old. This account will be 18+ so MINORS DON'T INTERACT

I'm apart of a polyfragmented DID system, and I'm a subsystem myself. Having said that, this blog is meant for just me and my insane posts lol.

While being in a DID system, Me and the rest of us are fully in support of endogenics and non traumagenic systems. we believe in plurality regardless of origin so If you're anti endo stay as far away from us as possible, we won't hesitate.

My biggest interests are mechanical engineering, computer sciences, robotics, video games & a few other things.

I deal with auDHD, BPD, HPD, and P-OCD/Health OCD. If you believe that people with PDs are abusive, especially those with cluster b PDs, and ESPECIALLY for HPD, ASPD & NPD, Fuck off, and if you think those with P-OCD/Z-OCD are pedophiles/zoos, go away also. we're mentally ill and traumatized, and this is how it manifested. I am no more harmful than anyone else, and I am definitely not a pedophile for having a severe anxiety disorder around the FEAR and ANXIETY of being a pedo and being the same as our abusers. We're a grooming/online CSA victim as well, and we can not control or predict how this trauma and mental illness manifests, but we are in treatment right now for these things.

I'm polyamorous, and I'm in a relationship with @transfemgirldick a couple of others apart of the Sunny/Occult System (@vampiricangels) so while I will post about nsfw and kink, I will not respond to sexual and romantic advances, but some playful/non serious flirting and joking is fine, just respect me and my partners

I may post about sexual content and kinks, so as a warning you might see hornyposting on here.

My current special interests involves the band Ghost, Minecraft (Hermitcraft adjacent), Pokemon and Pizza Tower.

My DNI list is long, and I have a banner that I'll be posting on all of my original posts, but in general DNI if youre a terf or radfem, map/pedo, radqueer (like transid/pro and complex contact paraphile/proshipper/etc), yanderecore or traumacore blog, anti endo, anti mspec lesbians/gays, and in general being a bigoted shithole.

As a detransitioning/retransitioning person I understand people will have biases about us, and I understand we are often used as transphobic rhetoric by radfems and terfs, but Not every one of us are suddenly transphobic OR cisgender when we detransition/retransition. DNI if you're again detrans people OR are into detrans kink. Fuck off with that.

Hope yall enjoy my blog, just be nice to others! ^^

[esevik]

Chapter 2:8

So the rich girl/woman in charge of the bunker is not only selfishly ignorant but also downright monstrous and litterally commits deadly human testing on other people with barely any guilt (she showed a smudge of guilt after being punched in the face and called out on it). And for what? To have her own "family"? She could have adopted or used a sperm from the number of trans women she has working in her pleasure hall but no, she has to carry this one specific infected man's child. And then she makes it everyone else's problem. I honestly don't understand how the people working with her just accepts this. I agree with Indi that this place needs to go, though I would prefer if they could break it down and redistribute the resources/food to those in need.

Ramona apparently did not recognise Fran what-so-ever since she's not having a single thought about her. She's too worried the head terf will figure out she's a chaser and takes out her stress by being a fairly typical abuser. I don't understand why the person she's kind of-sort of seeing stands to be around her. I assume the only reason she's still able to access the building despite all her warnings is because they're afraid she'll call a raid on them if they actually refuse her. Ramona very clearly goes in circles of: I like you. -> What will people think about me liking you? -> You're disgusting and horrible. -> I'm sorry, I won't do it again. -> I like you.

It's painful to read and I hope the cycle will break soon. Despite all her hypocracy she's clearly chosen the terf's side again and again - it's what she wants and she regards her chaser tendencies as a weakness. She's also getting a bit more violent every time she's down in the dums and I fear she's going to kill this partner of hers.

Beth might get sold into slavery. Robbie is informed about this and wants to learn more/stop this from happening but when he tells Fran she refuses to believe him. Fran is clearly caring more about herself and the fact that she's finally feeling comfortable rather than making sure her "friend" is ok. Currently it feels like Fran only cares about Beth as much as she's obligated to. If she could choose to stay with the top of the people in the bunker safe and secure for the rest of her life if Beth went away she'd probably choose it.

There seems to only be two decent characters in this book, Robbie and Indi. I don't count Beth since she's currently an abused and depressed blob floating around in the background.

[lovedlovingly]

Vent tw: transphobia

So fucking sad funny, me and my friends cut a former friend off from our friend group because she showed more and more terf behavior (started with "it's so fun to rail terfs up" to her changing her icon to the words "terf" and saying she was called terf online so that must mean she now is one and seeing it as the best joke ever & personally messaging me about it) I've known her since 8th grade, rest of our friends have known her since high school - we all had a sit down this spring to talk about her because a lot of us were like 'is it a "joke" gone way too far or what's going on' truly confused - this after her being on a party and saying there are "only two genders and anyone going away from what's on their id are faking blah blah" when she fucking knows I'm agender for one, but this stemmed from one of our friends saying he was questioning his gender identity....(like all ppl there were lgbt or have parents who are lgbt) I blocked her everywhere - she noticed what was going on in the middle of it all and messaged me on messenger going "don't take it so seriously not ALL terfs kill ppl" and blocked me on fb LMAO 6 months later fb recommended her to me so guess she changed her mind, I blocked her in response 🙄🙄🙄 anyway forward to today when I'm with one of my friends from the sit down and hear [she] has been trying to befriend her boyfriend on fb again, so he looked at her page and her latest status was like "I'm so sad and lonely tonight" dated the 13th December when I have my yearly early Christmas party - and someone asked why and she was like "because I lost my friends at the beginning of the year because I pretended to be a terf" BITCH you're sapphic, you're sapmi, u KNOW what oppression does to ppl and u decide you want to "fake being a terf" for.... fun??? LMAOOO I really love not having her around my life has become so much better 🙄 cry about it please

I think the best thing was that after we all cut her off she only reached out to the cis friends to ask to talk it out uwu and they all just said straight up no, can't wait to move so I don't have to run into her in this small town - happened twice this year after that🙄 also hope she knows I was the one who ordered the sit down and that we'd all cut her off, and no one even blinked about it🙄🙄🙄🙄

[infernalrevenge]

Hey there😊 I was wondering if I could request some headcanons for house dimitrescu s/o coming out as ftm perhaps reader is nervous to tell them afraid that he'll get kicked out and broken up with. I've been in a really bad funk lately and this would help thanks in advance

Hey bro, I feel you on this one. I hope this helps lifts your spirits in some way, this funk will pass and you'll be groovy once again :P

(CW transphobia in the form of non-acceptance but just as the reader's fears. Spoiler alert: They never materialize hehe.)

Alcina Dimitrescu

You were quite nervous to approach Alcina about this, as much as anyone would be about something this personal.

She always projected this image of an old-fashioned matron, whether she knew it or not. You knew she loved you, but it was still hard to shake the possibility of her not understanding.

You were prepared for the best case scenario to at least be some confusion on her part, and focused on that instead (and not the possibility that she would deem you disgusting and make you leave her presence at once.)

You steeled your nerves and knocked on the door of her office, swearing you felt your heart jump when she invited you in.

As soon as you mentioned wanting to talk about something important, she put her things down and had her full attention directed towards you. You weren't sure if that was worse.

With as calm of a tone as you can muster, you came straight out with it.

You hadn't realized you were looking at the floor the whole time, too afraid to look up and see her live reaction.

However, you didn't really have to wait long for a reply as she leaned down and tipped your chin up to her.

The disdain you feared would be on her face was completely absent, instead her expression was soft and loving. It made your heart skip in a different way than earlier.

"Thank you for telling me this, my love. That must've taken a lot of courage to say. Just know that what I feel for you has not changed -- I love you for the man you have always been, and always will be."

Bela Dimitrescu

Your relationship with Bela was all about "comfortable existence" -- you two count reading different books in the same room as doing something together.

The news you wanted to share with her, however, wasn't something you're sure would fit the "comfortable" atmosphere you two fostered over time.

You didn't want to ruin anything by coming out, but at the same time you knew you couldn't keep it from her forever. You wanted to be yourself around her, and telling her would be the first step to that reality. You just hoped she would understand, or at the very least was willing to understand.

When the time came, the two of you sat back to back while you did your own thing -- you were writing something, and she was drawing.

What she didn't know was that you were basically preparing a whole letter to come out to her and explain your situation as best as you can.

At this point, your parchment was full of crossed out lines and blotches of ink where your pen idled for too long -- you wondered if she noticed the pile of crumpled rejects on the other side of you too.

After a while, Bela was just about to turn around and ask you if something was wrong, she could feel how tense you were against her. But then, you slipped the paper to her and had her read it.

All the while, you had your back turned, knees tucked to your chest as you wished a black hole would swallow you up the longer the silence dragged on. You really wished you had telepathy or something right now, because you couldn't tell what she was thinking.

But all she did was take her place next to you, taking your hand and resting her head on your shoulder. Physical affection was rare from Bela, so this might even be enough of a confirmation of her reaction.

"I still love you, you know? If this is who you are and what makes you happy, then I'm more than okay with it. Thank you for trusting me with this."

Cassandra Dimitrescu

You and Cassandra talk about anything and everything under the sun. She's always been the type to speak her mind, especially when she gets excited.

You felt comfortable discussing anything, but this... well, you didn't really know how to get into it.

You wanted to tell her, of course. You just never found the right opportunity to (possibly because Cassandra led the conversation most of the time.)

But you knew you couldn't avoid this forever, not if you wanted to be with Cassandra for as long as you could. A part of you nagged at the fear that this would be cut short if you did say it, though.

You decided it was best to just be out with it before you could lose your nerve. After spending the night pondering over it, she barely even got to greet you before the words "I'm trans!" came tumbling out of your mouth.

"Uh... what?" (Was that a confused 'what' or an angry 'what'?)

"I'm... transgender...?"

"Oh okay. That's nice, good for you."

"You don't know what that is, do you, Cass?"

".......not exactly."

After some explaining and a crash course on terminology, you get a gentle nudge on your arm as a response -- her way of saying it was more than okay.

And that she wished you weren't so scared of telling her, but even you had to explain that, perhaps if you had any past experiences of coming out situations gone very wrong. She would seethe in anger on your behalf if you told her those stories.

If no one else were around at the time, she would definitely kiss you, just to assure you of how much her feelings for you remained the same. She didn't want any of your worries or insecurities from before this moment to stay in your mind, and she would do anything to make them melt away.

"You didn't have to be scared of telling me, but I'm glad you did. Tell me, not be scared of me. Guess from now on, you can be my handsome little man-thing, huh?"

Daniela Dimitrescu

Daniela is easily the most carefree (and oftentimes, careless) among her sisters. She also doesn't take a lot of things too seriously.

As a consequence though, you feared that it meant she wouldn't know how to handle the news. What if she didn't get it and would be weirded out by you?

Daniela wasn't dumb, you knew that, but you were still prepared to explain things if needed. She had always been curious so you weren't afraid to answer any questions she might have. You wished she would have some tact about them though.

She often drags you into mischief and a lot of the time you would relent, but the one time you stopped her first and mentioned needing to tell her something important, she was the one who tensed up.

Was she in trouble? Did you realize you stopped loving her all of a sudden? Were you going to die?! (She's a bit of a worrier when the words "we need to talk" come out of anyone's mouth.)

You were silent for a little too long and she starts to tear up, her worries getting the better of her before you stepped up to give her a hug. This already wasn't going how you planned.

After you managed to calm her down, you decided it was best to just spit it out already.

Fortunately, the revelation didn't hang in the air for too long. Daniela responded almost unexpectedly.

"Oh... wait, is it male to female, female to male, or something else?"

"Uh, female to male. So I'm a man. A trans man."

"Oh cool!" She takes your hands. "You got a new name picked out? If you're taking suggestions, I think--"

Wait what?

Turned out, she was pretty aware of what being trans meant and had read up on it in books before. She didn't just read for entertainment, she retained other information too.

Still, you couldn't help the sigh (and maybe a quiet sob) of relief when she pulled you close for another hug, this time in celebration of you and living your truth.

"Of course everything's okay, babe! You're still the same wonderful human I fell in love with. I always know how to pick the cute ones."

[bucky-at-bedtime]

Stucky Fic Recs

So basically I went through all of my ao3 bookmarks and collated a list of some of my favourites (I couldn't fit all of them on this list, so if anyone shows interest there might be a part two).

Please read tags and descriptions of the works before reading, some of them are pretty dark or extremely horny so just make sure you check that the fic is for you!!

Please please please send me your favourite fics in return! I am always happy to hear fic recs, headcanons and any other ideas/comments you all have!

Without any further ado, here are a few of my favourite Stucky fics:

‘Not Easily Conquered’ series by dropdeaddream, WhatAreFear

Rating: M, Words: 117,692

https://archiveofourown.org/series/115516

“I told you, you heard me: I told you never to follow me into Hell. Now I’m not vain enough to think that’s why you’re out here now — if there’s any person in what’s left of this God forsaken planet who’s part of a bigger picture, it’d be you. But I’ll keep saying it until it sticks. You got nothing to prove. I’m not worth much, I damn well know that, but I’ll ask you anyway: Stay for me. If you leave me alone in this world I’ll turn into something terrible. I’ll turn into the nasty creature that’s growing inside me. This war, it’ll swallow me whole”

[To me, this fic is like the classic Stucky 101 fanfic – if you're a Stucky fan and you haven't read this, I highly recommend it. The authors explore the Steve/Bucky relationship in such an interesting, tragic, emotive way and I cry every time I read it. I couldn't praise this work enough.]

‘Ain’t No Grave’ series by spitandvinegar

Rating: M-E, Words: 131,789

https://archiveofourown.org/series/426577

"Yeah, he never calls me by my name," Steve says. "It's always champ, ace, hotshot, that kinda thing."

"Man, that is flirting," Sam says. "That nicknames thing, he is flirting with you. He's just working his way up to calling you baby or something."

Steve goes redder than a damn coke can. Sam pumps his fist. "Yes, I am so right, I am wise as hell. He did, didn't he?"

"He called me sweetheart," Steve says grimly, "because he's a drug addict with brain damage."

"Or because he looooooves you," Sam says. Captain America throws a cookie at his head. Sam eats it, because he deserves a treat for being so damn wise.”

[I'm currently re-reading this fic and absolutely loving it. The way spitandvinegar writes Bucky's road towards recovery and Steve's entire characterisation – it's all just so good. It's another one that covers some pretty dark themes, so make sure you're checkin those tags!]

'Einherjar' by thecommodore_squid

Rating: M, Words: 71297

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7157024/chapters/16249814

But Steve was fine.

Sure, he hadn’t seen Bucky in months, and sometimes he was at the punching bag so long that his skin started to peel off to expose the bones of his fingers, and sometimes he couldn’t find the energy to drag himself out of bed, and sometimes he went weeks without sleeping, and sometimes he thought about throwing himself head-first off the nearest tall structure, but he was fine.

He was absolutely, perfectly, one-hundred percent, fucking fine.

AKA In which Steve learns how to deal with his shit, and Bucky learns how to stop leaving.

[basically the definition of a recovery fic, I absolutely adore it. This is tragic and amazing and makes me cry and smile. It’s got a bunch of fantastic cameos and It really just ticks so many of my boxes.]

‘Like real People do’ by 2bestfriends

Rating: E, Words: 67,775

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19887376/chapters/47103217

“"Ask me what?" demands Bucky. "I didn't hear a question."

Steve licks his lips. "Will you stay with me? Will you come back home, Buck?"

"Home," repeats Bucky in a small voice, and then he's crying for real.”

[Basically soft lumberjack!steve and lonely twink!bucky being horny and in love. This is a comfort fic for that’s really just about my favourite boys falling in love.]

‘This City Bleeds it’s Aching Heart’ by anonymous

Rating: E, Words: 34,537

https://archiveofourown.org/works/835829/chapters/1591736

“The one where Steve and Bucky pose as a happily married couple while on a mission for SHIELD, to catch an international arms dealer hiding in a suburban neighbourhood.”

[The plot in this one is just a good time and i think it’s just a really fun take on the fake relationship trope. Also some really great characterisation.]

‘Home is Wherever I’m With You’ by cydonic

Rating: E, Words: 88,570

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18868081/chapters/44783077

“Bucky kisses Steve and Emma goodbye before they leave for school, which is why – partway down the road – Amelia turns to him and asks, “why are you and Daddy kissing?”

Which is definitely a conversation Bucky’s been expecting since Steve just did it, but it still takes him by surprise. Again, he thinks he should wait for Steve, but Amelia’s not the sort of kid to let anything rest. Plus, Bucky’s taking her to school where she will undoubtedly share the story with anyone who’ll listen.

He also stops to think that Steve’s asked him to stay, which means Bucky must be trusted with their happiness and well-being, at least in some small capacity.

Bucky clears his throat and searches for some explanation that will help Amelia make sense of this sudden turn of events. “Because we love each other,” is all he comes up with.”

[Bear with me, this is a House Flipper!Bucky Au. And dad!Steve. I just love a found family trope I’m not gonna lie to you. Another comfort fic that warms my lil heart.]

‘Lucky Seven’ by BetteNoire (WeAreWolves)

Rating: E, Words: 94,364

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7033105/chapters/16002481

“Back from where--?” James says, the sentence ending in a distinctly undignified squawk as Steve sweeps him up in his arms, bridal-style, and starts carrying him upstairs.

James tenses momentarily then relaxes into Steve's arms and throws back his head and starts laughing. The laughter peals out of him, his body shaking, his amusement occasionally broken by little gasps of pain.

“What's so funny?” Steve frowns.

“You are,” James says, still giggling. “You're ridiculous, Steve Rogers.”

“Behave. Or I will drop you,” Steve growls.

[The shrunkyclunks modern AU of my dreams featuring Mechanic!Bucky and cap!Steve and some really beautiful writing.]

'Dishonor On Your Cow' by mandarou

Rating: E, Words: 111695

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10659162/chapters/23589582

“Sergeant Barnes?”

“Oh, hell no, don’t call him that, man,” Sam warned.

“Captain Fuck Off!” Barnes shouted over him. “Fight me!”

Steve didn’t know whether to laugh or just slink away. He managed to combine the two by pacing two steps and snorting instead. Like a bull.

“I’m gonna need you to calm your ass, Barnes,” Sam said as he went limp again, obstructing Barnes’s struggling under him. “This is so undignified. That is Captain goddamn America.”

“Captain goddamn America!” Barnes repeated, louder. And angrier.

Steve cleared his throat again. “I’ve been looking for you,” he told Barnes.

“I hope you brought lube this time!” Barnes shouted.

[I’m not gonna lie it took me a minute to get into this one but by the end I was crying with them, laughing with them, and just really in my feels. Some very insane things happen so here’s a few of my favourite tags: ‘Seargent Barnes is done with your Shit Steve’, ‘blatant disrespect of a man’s motorcycle’, ‘Steve you ding dong’ and ‘PR nightmares in the form of Supersoldiers’.]

Propietary Information by Notlucy

Rating: E, Words: 85141

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11964402/chapters/27054777

“Okay, so Bucky Barnes has a crush on Steve Rogers. The guy's gorgeous, talented and, oh yeah, the Chief Design Officer of the biggest tech company in the world. In other words: he's so far out of Bucky's league that he might as well be in a different stratosphere.”

[We were never gonna get through this list without a Sugar Daddy!AU (I have a weakness). This one is… saucy and sexy and sweet and uh pretty kinky so read the tags and all. I’ve read it a few times, and I love the way the author has written Steve in this one, he just makes my heart go '!!!']

‘Roots Have Grown’ by AustinB

Rating: M, Words: 17280

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6912451/chapters/15767941

“Bucky is a mildly agoraphobic veteran with funds to spare, who becomes enamored with the cute blonde guy in his building.

So when Steve mentions needing a roommate to cut down on rent costs, Bucky decides it would be a good idea to volunteer.”

[Another weakness of mine is Roommate AUs, and this one is phenomenal. I tend to go for post serum!Steve stories more often, but this is a pre-serum Steve that I just adore.]

‘The Cold Never Bothered me Anyway’ by icoulddothisallday

Rating: E, Words:75562

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11728869/chapters/26425530

“Bucky Barnes has spent his whole life in a state of mild hypothermia. Steve Rogers has spent the last 70 years in the ice. The two things aren’t related until, suddenly, they are. Shrunkyclunks soulmate AU (AKA the awkward bb au).”

[I think this is the only soulmate AU in my bookmarks? I would totally be down to read more though! This one is really fun and really enjoy Bucky’s characterisation here!]

'War, Children' by Nonymos

Rating: E, Words: 106615

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5373050/chapters/12409394

“After Bucky was released from the hospital, it only took him a couple of weeks to give up on himself. Difficult to believe in any kind of future when the simple act of staying alive was almost too big an effort.

Out the frosted window, across the street, there was a tiny homeless guy burrowing under an awning.”

[An interesting exploration of Bucky’s PTSD with a trans!Steve which was a cool take on his character too!]

'The Company You Keep' by orbingarrow

Rating: G, Words: 51191

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3468605/chapters/7613072

“Hurt, hungry, and on the run, the Winter Soldier doesn’t have a lot of safe options to go to for help. Figuring that any friend of Captain Steve Rogers is unlikely to be HYDRA, Bucky takes a chance and reaches out to the first Avenger he can find.

It works out better than anyone could have expected. Eventually.”

[hurt/comfort, recovering Bucky, protective Steve, found family and domestic avengers, need I say more? I absolutely loved this one]

[thefichoard]

Rock Out!

This one will include: tiny!¾ SBI, some Clindyduo :O, as well as Trans!Tommy! Specifically Transmale!Tommy. (also the POV switches a lot)

Possible Trigger Warnings are: deadnaming (unintentional, Tommy is not out to his parents in this fic), and unintentional misgendering

Content warnings: Fear, unintentional fearplay(????), mentions of being squished (not often), and implied dysphoria but not a lot

If I need to add any content or trigger warnings please let me know! :3

Basic Summary: Philza, Wilbur, and Technoblade are borrowers who are half-wild in a sense. They live in a vacation home. The caretaker will stay for a few days and then leave for a could moths, so they stock up what they can when the caretaker is there, and then forage for other items they may need. But this summer is a bit different! There’s a new family coming to stay in the house. But, surely it will be no different than usual, right?

~~~

There were three, Technoblade noted from his spot crouched in the window. Three humans had just arrived at the cottage-- that’s what the usual human called it in his mutterings.

Two parents and one that appeared to be their daughter.

Technoblade raced off before they came inside, running off to tell his family.

“Three, are you sure?” Phil asked, pausing in his clothes washing. Technoblade nodded.

“And I overheard them saying they’ll be staying for the summer.”

Wilbur frowned into his cracker. Phil sighed, hanging the clothes up.

“Well, we’ll need to be extra careful, then. Oh, and, you boys should bring in your foraging gear. There’s rain on the wind, and from the looks of those clouds, we’re in for a big storm.

Wilbur and Technoblade brought in the foraging items they’d left out to dry-- they’d had a run in with a stream, long story-- before closing up the hatches as they went, just in case there was a little flooding. Luckily, most of their house was higher in the walls, so they should be fine.

Hopefully.

It did flood that one time…

But it hasn’t happened since-- the humans did something to prevent it-- so Wilbur was reasonably certain that it wouldn’t happen again.

Shockingly, it was only a light rain that night.

The two adult humans left the house, calling goodbyes to their daughter Samantha. 

“Come on,” Phil said. “We need a few things, and this is a good time.”

There was a rumble of thunder in the distance that made the three borrowers nervous. They always hated thunderstorms. The sound of the rain and thunder always rattled their home. Not to mention, it always made them lie awake in fear of flooding. Phil wanted to get a few things in preparation for the surely awful night to come.

Music began as soon as they reached the exit to the tunnels. Creaking the door open slightly, they saw the teen human. She was dancing around, wearing a baggy sweater despite it being boiling outside. Her hair was pulled out of her face, almost hidden by the back of her head. She danced around the kitchen, mouthing along to the song blasting loudly from her device.

She jumped, landing with a harsh thud that rattled some of the dishes near the borrowers. Wilbur swallowed a little. They were lucky they weren’t attempting to run past her as she danced, they would have been squished for sure.

The borrowers carefully darted from hiding place to hiding place, but the girl didn’t seem to notice as she spun around the kitchen again and again with her broom, hardly doing the sweeping she was supposed to.

“Tommy!” they could barely hear over the music. Samantha-- Tommy?-- froze on a dime, much to the amusement of the other person.

“I thought you said there were only three!?” Wilbur hissed to Technoblade. His twin furrowed his brow. 

“There was..”

“Come on, big man, I don’t want to get squished!”

The three borrowers watched with frozen shock as Tommy bent down and swept something-- no, someone-- off the floor. A borrower was in her-- er, his?-- hands. But instead of screaming as he spun around, now singing loudly and off-key to the still-going music, the borrower laughed loudly.

“Put me down already!” He cackled, sounding out of breath already. “I’m gonna puke if you keep spinning me around.”

With one more heel turn, Tommy pivoted, deposited the borrower on the counter surprisingly softly, before twirling the broom and getting back to ‘sweeping’.

The brunet borrower just laughed, clambering up the windowsill, unknowing to the small family gaping at him nearby. He wore a brown and yellow long-sleeved shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbow, and jean overalls. They looked to be made out of cloth, but they weren’t doll clothes as there was no Velcro or snaps. It seemed like the outfit was made for him specifically.

He looked out at the rolling clouds, before turning to survey the room. His eyes landed on the frozen family in no time. For a few moments, both parties simply stared at each other, before the brunet beamed, hopping down from the window and skipping over to them, seeming to have no issues with revealing them to the human. He stuck out a hand.

“Hello there! My name is Tubbo! What are yours!”

None of them answered at first, before Wilbur whisper-shouted;

“What are you doing out in the open? And with a human?!”

Tubbo cocked his head. “What? It’s just Tommy.”

He suddenly gasped, seeming to be hit with an idea. “You should meet him!”

“No-!”

Philza and Technoblade grabbed too late, as with more strength than he appeared to possess, Tubbo hauled Wilbur into the open. Wilbur tried to shoo his family away as Tubbo screamed for Tommy to turn his music down. Though there were many silent protests, Techno ended up dragging Philza back to the hole in the wall, and just in time.

Wilbur turned back as the music shut off, Tommy’s eyes landing on him. He blinked once, twice, before grabbing a stool and scooting over to the two borrowers. Wilbur backed up as he leaned over, resting his arms on the counter, and his head atop his arms.

“Hey there,” Tommy greeted casually, as though he wasn’t speaking to a borrow. Wilbur didn’t trust this… human child. “Name’s Tommy, ‘ow do, big man?”

Wilbur was quiet for a long moment. Tommy seemed content to wait there forever, while Tubbo seemed to begin getting antsy. Both borrowers jumped at the loud cracked of thunder. The next moment, rain was pelting harshly at the window. Tommy checked his music device.

“Mum and dad are held up at auntie’s,” Tommy said, gently leaning against where Tubbo had pressed himself to his cheek. “They’ll be staying the night.”

Wilbur jumped at another thunder crash. He hoped Philza and Techboblade were alright. At least they had each other for comfort. Wilbur curled in on himself.

“You want a blanket?” He whipped back to Tommy, who just stared right back at him. Wilbur wasn’t sure why he was surprised, but he was startled to see Tubbo curled up on his hand, pressed to his chest. “You look cold.”

“I don’t want your fuckin blanket.”

“He speaks!” 

The next jump of fright nearly sent Wilbur tumbling off the counter, only to land in Tommy’s hand. He froze. Tommy stood.

“Don’t worry, I’ll set you down real soon. I just figured the living room would be more comfortable for all of us.”

Philza and Technoblade watched with varying degrees of anger and fear as Wilbur was taken away from the kitchen.

[lochsides]

If I Can't Have Love, I Want Power Review

Where do I even begin with 'If I Can't Have Love, I Want Power'? It is such a good album, it's almost criminal. If I had to pick the best album to be released this year, IICHLIWP would be it. Halsey has always been an excellent songwriter, that was never even in question, but it has been proved once again, in case anyone wasn't paying attention. IICHLIWP is an album that covers so much depth in sound and in lyric. The dichotomy of the Madonna and the Whore, as they said in their announcement of the album, is an overarching theme of IICHLIWP and it is articulated so consummately. The references to pregnancies and childbirth are more subtle than I expected but that's what makes them so genius. This is an album where every lyric is intentional.

My favourite songs are ‘The Tradition’, 'Bells in Santa Fe', '1121' and 'Ya'aburnee'. More detailed thoughts on each track are below the cut. Trigger warnings for sexual assault and miscarriages.

The Tradition — This is the first song on the album and Halsey had already fucked me up so there's that. I got full-body chills listening to 'The Tradition'. The production is masterful. There is this darkness that settles in early and ebbs and flows beautifully, not only throughout the song but the album as a whole. 'The Tradition' already sets up so many of themes of this album, but what a way to talk about sexual assault. I am in love with the entire chorus line but I think my favourite lyric is ‘she got the life she wanted but now all she does is cry.’

Bells in Santa Fe — The transition from 'The Tradition' into 'Bells in Santa Fe' was so smooth I didn't even notice that the songs had changed until I looked at my screen. I don't think I could actually describe how much I adore this song if I took up the rest of my life doing so. The production is absolutely God-tier. Everything from the way it keeps building throughout the song to the percussion to the piano on the second chorus and the distortion towards the end is so perfectly done. You will never hear me rave about production this much. What a fucking song! On top of all that, you have the lyrics that are so powerful. When they said 'cause who the fuck would chose this?' it reminded me of my favourite Manicsong, 'Forever... is a long' where they sing 'how could somebody ever love me?' so that stood out to me. I love the cadence on 'secondhand thread in a secondhand bed with a second man's head' but the lyric 'better off dead so I reckon I'm headed to Hell instead' is probably the one that hits the hardest. My escapist, runaway tendencies felt very exposed by the entirety of the pre-chorus.

Easier than Lying — The way she emotes on ‘you lair, you don’t love me’ is fucking everything. I needed to start with that. It’s my favourite aspect of the whole song. And then there is that obvious callback in the bridge. ‘Easier than Lying’ is the punk sound we were promised of IICHLIWP and they delivered. The Grungy electric guitar, the bass, the production!!! This one goes hard and it makes no apologies of it’s anger.

Lilith — ‘I’m disruptive, I’ve been corrupted, and by now I don’t need a fucking introduction.’ I mean what could I possibly say after that??! Honestly, I love the duality of how this line could be about Halsey but it could also be about Lilith, herself. There is a selfishness to 'Lilith' that I love. When you connect that to the mythology of Lilith preying on pregnant women and the context of this album — it's just got so many layers. Halsey's mind!! I love the sound of this song. The production has a classic rock flare to it. Those drums are so clean and the bass accompanies it perfectly. The smoothness of their vocal on this track is very pleasing to listen to.

Girl is a Gun — I'm not going to lie, this song isn't for me. I get it. The message is right up my street but the overall sound of it just isn't what I personally like. I do love their little laugh at the start! The lyric 'it's a shot in the dark, I'm not a walk in the park, I come loaded with the safety switched off' is my favourite.

You asked for this — This song is really interesting because they gave us a pop punk sound, pushed it to the back of the track, really grungey guitar riffs and all, but their voice is so light and delicate almost, very airy in a way that stands apart from the backing track. I really like it. To me, it's like an emphasis of the message of 'You asked for this'. Young women are oftentimes forced to grow up too soon and 'be a big girl.' Society forgets, I would even say purposely overlooks, that they are 'still somebody's daughter,' one of the few things that is used to give value to a woman. We've all heard people throw the phrase "but what if it was your daughter/sister?" into the conversation when discussing women that have somehow been abused by the patriarchy. 'You asked for this' also calls attention to how when we're younger, all we want is to be grown up but how unaware we can be of what it means to be a woman in this world, the trauma that comes with it.

Darling — The guitar in this song and it’s almost-country sound are what sets this song apart from the rest of the album. ‘Darling’ is a lullaby for their child, but it tells a story of their struggles. It is honest in a way that feels private. Motherhood sounds so good on them!! This song is just a collection of things I love in music. 'Darling' is soothing and it sounds like comfort, in both melody and lyric. 'Foolish men have tried but only you have shown me how to love being alive' is perhaps the softest lyric on the whole album.

1121 — I expelled a heavy sigh when I heard ‘1121’ it absolutely took my breath away*.* This song is a truly moving ode to an unborn child. So many people talk about how they had never known what unconditional love really meant until they had a child. Halsey tells it as such: ‘you could have my heart and I would break it for you.’ I love their vocal styling on this song so much, going between their lower register and those beautiful falsettos in the chorus. The overlapping on the bridge of ‘please don’t leave, don’t leave me in the shape you left me’ and ‘I’m running out of time to tell you, I’m running out of things that I regret’ and ‘you’d never, you told me’ really capture all the wide array of emotions felt by pregnant person upon finding out they are pregnant when they’ve dealt with miscarriage. Her voice emotes the fear of losing another child, the regret of the ones she's already lost, the promise, almost desperate, of the opportunity they have right now. All of these feelings are brought to life further by the production of the song. There is so much depth in '1121'.

honey — Pop punk wlw anthem check. Halsey suits this sound so much. This track, the production, the instrumentation, all of it catered to their voice so perfectly. The sound is so refreshing and yet so classic. I adore the melody. It’s unsuspectingly catchy. I wonder if there are links to ‘Lilith’ with ‘she’s mean and she’s mine’ or if I’m just reaching. Either way, a song about a love that is a little chaotic and wild, sign me up!

Whispers — Whispering on a song called 'Whispers' might be obvious but I'm a basic bitch so leave me alone, I loved it. Lyrically, 'Whispers' was the song that I saw myself in the most. When she said 'camouflage so I can feed the lie that I'm composed,' I just felt far too exposed for comfort. Same thing with 'I do not know me.' And that's what art is supposed to do. The instrumental is haunting and dark. The way they create tension by adding in one instrument at a time. The production is amazing. Top 5 shit right here!

I am not a woman, I'm a god — Not only does this song have the catchiest hook, it’s literally ‘I am not a woman, I’m a god. I am not a martyr, I’m a problem. I am not a legend, I’m a fraud so keep your heart ‘cause I already got one.’ That hook right there tells you everything you need to know about this song. ‘I am not a woman, I’m a god’ acknowledges that one needs not be a woman to create life. They are claiming power to their gender identity through relation to Godliness. Even in the other lyrics, they talk about being ‘a different human in a new place’ or ‘a better human with a new name’ (this line in particular draws direct parallels to trans experiences). Both times, they specifically use ‘human.’ The production of this song is designed to be a single. It’s got the signature darkness of this album, tells the listener where Halsey is at sonically, and it’s a total banger.

The Lighthouse — The way this song just comes in swinging right away with the distortion and the heavy guitars is exactly what I expected from this album going into it for the first time. Very modern punk rock. And the lyric doesn't pull any punches either. 'From a tender age I was cursed with rage,' like c'mon!! I love the melody and her vocal inflations throughout the song. This is the longest song on the album but it doesn't drag. The change up right before the outro really helps with that. I find that outro so interesting. The contrast between the instrumental constantly building but their voices staying so far in the back on the track creates so much tension that is relieved in the best way possible with 'Ya'aburnee'.

Ya'aburnee — ‘Ya’aburnee’ is the perfect conclusion to this album. Halsey said in their Apple Music interview that IICHLIWP is about the power to choose and by the end of the album you realise that they choose love. This song perfectly embodies that. It’s familial. The entire chorus talks of seeing yourself in your kin and the circle of life. The second verse is a clear love letter to their partner and it makes me emotional, knowing their romantic history as we do, to hear them sing ‘wrap me in a wedding ring.’ I love how the lyric ‘you will bury me before I bury you’ is not only a statement of their hopes that they don’t have to live in a world without their loved ones, a statement of how parents should never have to bury their children, but it almost sounds like a protective promise that they will do anything to ensure their loved ones are kept from harm so as not to need burial. The softness of the instrumental on ‘Ya’aburnee’ is feels like unwinding from the rest of the record. It’s such a beautiful song.

[iamnotawomanimagod]

If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power - A Reluctant Ranking of Every Track

Disclaimer: This entire album is incredible, truly no skips, and I also think it’s an album that is hard to separate into individual tracks, because it all goes so well together. But I still wanted to try! This is just my personal opinion, and it’s subject to change. (Also I surprised myself. And I bet I’ll change my mind by tonight.)

Please feel free to do your own and tag me in it!! I wanna see!!

13. Girl is a Gun

It’s not that I dislike this song, it’s just a sound that I didn’t expect on this album. I think it would’ve fit in better on Manic. I don’t love how it kind of just repeats over and over again, especially on an album so full of complex, intricate lyrics. But it’s a really upbeat, sexy song and I bet it’s going to be so fun live.

Favorite lyric: 

Time is a blessin', to me, it's a lesson And I can't be stressin' to give you attention 'Cause, oh, it's never enough, so I'm givin' you up And you'll be better with a nice girl, darlin'

12. Lilith

Similar to “Girl is a Gun,” I simply wasn’t expecting this kind of sound on this album - could’ve seen it on Hopeless Fountain Kingdom though! The bass is amazing and I love the rhythm.

Favorite lyric:

You know I get too caught up in a moment I can't call it love if I show it I just fuck things up, if you noticed Have you noticed? Tell me have you noticed?

11. Darling

This song is so sweet and charming, especially if you compare it to “More,” which I think it acts as a sort of sequel to. Something about the melody hits me just a little wrong. When they start singing, I can’t help but hear the verses of “Hopeless.” That might’ve been intentional, but I can’t get past it to hear this song as its own thing.

Favorite lyric:

Never knew the feeling of a stable home Been a couple years of living on the road Couldn't really tell you where they'd leave a stone To visit me when I am dead and gone

10. The Tradition

I love the haunting piano and vocals. It feels like a song that was written for the film specifically. (Was it even in the film, lol?) I really love the sound of it, but the lyrics don’t do very much for me.

Favorite lyric:

And I hope what's left will last all summer long And they said that, "Boys were boys", but they were wrong

9. The Lighthouse

This song reminds me the most of a Nine Inch Nails song - fitting that Trent Reznor provides backing vocals on the final verse. I love the grimy guitars, and and discordant beat, and the way it builds up. The melody is cool and liquid. The final verse really feels like waves crashing. It’s a well-written song that really shows off Halsey’s alternative side.

Favorite lyric:

Well, that should teach a man to mess with me He was never seen again And I'm still wandering the beach And I'm glad I met the devil 'Cause he showed me I was weak And a little piece of him is in a little piece of me

8.  Ya’aburnee

This song makes me really emotional. It makes me think of all the people I love the most and it makes me want to cherish my time with them even more. That’s an incredible feeling for an artist to create. It’s such a bittersweet song. I wanna cry but it also makes me smile.

Favorite lyric:

But what's worse? Telling you my feelings or to die without revealing That you crawled inside my head and set a fire there, instead Letting all my insecurity Devour me with certainty

7. honey

If you’ve ever felt this way for someone, this song stings in the best way possible. I love the rhythm and the drums and the guitars - this is peak pop punk and Halsey fits right in. I love the honey imagery, especially that she included some imagery about bees and the way honey clings.

Favorite lyric:

And now she's impatient and I'm complacent With just a little taste of wasting time Looking for honey But she stings like she means it She's mean and she's mine

6. 1121

Now this is the sound I expected from this album. Cinematic, dark, dramatic. The piano is so haunting and so beautiful. It evokes so much imagery through sound alone, even with the lyrics being relatively simple. And their voice is so incredible. The song overall reminds me a lot of Evanescence, which is high praise. And I really appreciate the “self-loathing in love” theme, I can relate to it a lot. I’ve already been singing the chorus at the top of my lungs whenever I play this song.

Favorite lyric:

Take one in the temple My tongue is a vessel I try to be careful with The thing inside my chest You shoot for the memory So you can forget me I'd leave if you let me, oh

5. Bells in Santa Fe

Ever since we heard a snippet of this song in the first film trailer, I’ve been desperate to hear the rest of it. It didn’t disappoint. I love her lower register vocals, the tinkling piano and the frantic rhythm. And I relate too much to the message of the song - loving someone so much but refusing to accept that they want forever with you, insisting that they’re better off without you, warning them that you could slip away at any moment. It hits me where I live.

Favorite lyric:

Jesus needed a three day weekend To sort out all his bullshit, figure out the treason I've been searching for a fortified defense Four to five reasons But, Jesus, you've got better lips than Judas I could keep your bed warm, otherwise I'm useless I don't really mean it, 'cause who the fuck would choose this?

4. I am not a woman, I’m a god

This song fucks. Claiming their power to create life - recognizing that as godly and divine, while also insisting this is not a power that makes them a woman. I can’t wait for it to become a smash hit and for people to be singing about a nonbinary/trans experience without even knowing it. I honestly have trouble even articulating why this song is so awesome, it just is. I’m pumped every time I hear it.

Favorite lyric:

Oh, I just wanna feel something, tell me where to go 'Cause everybody knows something I don't wanna know So I'll stay right here cause I'm better all alone Yeah, I'm better all alone

3. You asked for this

I really like the 90s alternative sound of this one, it reminds me of Alanis Morrissette and certain No Doubt songs. I think it’s a very realistic depiction of how settling down in life can be very bittersweet, and the things that we ask for are sometimes not what they seem to be. But we also come to realize that settling is a part of growing up. Still, Halsey sings about wanting everything, knowing there are contradictions in that. The chorus is fun and easy to sing to, and the final verse is so amazing.

Favorite lyric:

I want a beautiful boy's despondent laughter I want to ruin all my plans I want a fist around my throat I want to cry so hard I choke I want everything I asked for

2. Whispers

This one hits hard, but god, it’s so good. The way they whisper certain phrases. The simple piano under the first verse, the way it becomes more complex, the way the beat comes in. You want to dance and cry at the same time. The lyrics - I know so many of us can relate to them. The themes of self-sabotage and self-loathing are so strong in this album, which definitely hits me right in the chest.

Favorite lyric:

I've got a monster inside me That eats personality types She is constantly changing her mind on the daily Think that she hates me I'm feeling it lately Might have to trick her and treat her To 70 capsules or fly to a castle So at least we could say that we died being traveled

1. Easier than Lying

I’ve had this one on repeat since the album came out, and that surprised me at first, but god, this song is addictive. The crunchy guitar at the beginning, the driving rhythm, the way her voice contrasts with that. The scream-singing on the chorus. It’s the kind of song you want to drive way too fast to. The bridge!! Aaah! It’s just so badass and listening to it now gets me too hyped!! Also the way it can kind of be seen as a sequel to “Lie,” - the growth of going “if you don’t love me no more, then lie” to “losing you is easier than lying to myself” is so meaningful and so empowering.

My heart is massive but it's empty A permanent part of me, that innocent artery Is gasping for some real attention Some undivided hypertension I tell it "quiet down, you're being loud" But it beats harder every time you come around But do you love the sound?

I’m gonna tag some mutuals, just to share, and also to see if anyone else wants to do this! Also you don’t need to go as in-depth as I did if that’s intimidating or too much, I’m just wordy.

@demonzplay @easiersthanlying @ttpane @yoursalwaysleo @anarkyandmadness @feelingsiwontforget @tolerateit @tommyhardyx @elysiems @imacreepygirl @finallybeautifulstranger @inthenameofloveforthesakeofpower and I know I’m forgetting some folks, I’m sorry! Please feel free to steal this and also tag me in yours!

[marvelsbetch]

Peter Parker’s field trip. Part 1

Warnings: Trans!Peter, Spidypool, sex references, superfamily, transphobia, supportive avengers

Tony POV

I was in my lab waiting for Peter, my newly adopted son, to come home from school when Friday told me I had an email from Peters school. Turning to my phone I opened the email and was completely annoyed. The email read

'Dear Parent/Carer of Patricia Parker,

We are delighted to inform you that we have a surprise field trip for the student to none other than Stark Laboratories. The trip with be a residential starting on March 7th with a trip to Stark Tower, staying the night there with Mr Tony Stark-Rodgers and then having a trip to the Avengers Tower where we will have the opportunity to meet the Avengers and ask them questions. This is a once in a life time opportunity and we hope you allow your daughter to attend. Also, we would like to keep the trip as a surprise for the student so we urge you not to tell them the destinations of the trip.

Yours Sincerely,

Mrs Robbins.'

I was livid. My child Peter is a boy. I do not have a daughter I have a son. I couldn't believe the nerve of this teacher so I stormed out of my lab and in to the main living area of the penthouse and saw my handsome husband lay on the couch watching tv. He looked so calm and collected but I feel this might change.

"Honey, I just got this email from Peters school that I think you should have a look at." I told him handing him my phone.

He looked confused at first but then the anger set in and by time my phone was placed back in my hand he had an evil smirk on his face. I had an idea of why he had that smirk but just to be sure I asked him,

"What's the smirk for?" I asked.

"Tell the teacher our son can go on the trip while I make a few phone calls. Nobody purposely misgenders my son and gets away with it." He is trusted before grabbing his cell phone and walking down the corridor to one of the training room. Probably going to blow off a little steam and anger. Might watch in a little while.

After a second I simply responded to the email stating'

I as Peters legal guardian allow my son to attend this field trip. Is there any additional information that we should be aware of?' It seemed like the appropriate response.

In all honesty I had Pepper invite the school to the towers as a reward for how well they did at the decathlon competition. I was not expecting to receive an email like this.

-5 hours later-

Peter arrived home shortly after the email incident and was greeted to everyone being in the room. Everyone being Me, Cap, Bucky, Nat, Banner, Pepper, Sam, T'Challa, Shuri, Rhodey, Wanda, Vision, Thor, Loki, Clint and Strange along with the Guardians on a Skype call on the tv. We told him it was a spur of the moment gathering as well all missed each other, not an entire lie, but in reality we were plotting to a) embarrass Peter as much as possible on the field trip and b) get back at the teacher for what they did.

We decided to order enough pizza for an entire 3rd world country and discuss Peter's school life as we ate.

"So Peter, has anyone been giving you trouble lately in School? You can tell us the truth." Steve, Peter's other father and my husband, asked.

"No everything just fine." He terribly lied.

"Come on kid. I've known you for almost two years now, don't try and lie. If there's anyone giving you any type of shit for whatever reason please know that you can tell us." I explained to him all of a sudden getting very serious. I could see him fighting with himself on weather to tell us something or not but decided not to as he then said he had homework to do and went to his room.

"So, he's either lying or the teacher isn't as bad as we think." Loki observed.

"No, he was lying. I could feel his conflict and pain in remembrance of what people have said to him. I'm not one for violence but someone needs to pay for what he's been dealing with." Wanda told us with tears in her eyes.

Cap and Barton walked over to comfort her and hopefully stop her crying. My blood started boiling, Wanda was a strong person and if what Peter's going through brings her to tears then that's a lot for one person to go through. What else has this teacher or student done? Why won't he tell us? Does he not trust us? That last question broke my heart.

"Baby, you okay?" I hear Steve ask moving towards me and holding both my hands in his.

"No. I'm pissed. I'm pissed at any one who hurt my son. I'm pissed at us for not making sure he knows he can talk to us. And I'm pissed at the world for making his go through all of this." I told him with tears coming to my eyes.

Steve pulled me close to my chest and held me tight. He stroked his hands through my hair as he tried to calm me down. I could tell he was mad to, we all were, but he was trying to hold it in despite everyone being here to essentially punish this teacher was his idea. Embarrassing Peter was mine.

"Right, so what do we do about this? I'm not letting anyone hurt my nephew and get away with it." Nat said sitting up and pulling a knife from who knows where to sharped her nails. That women scares me so much.

"How about we just drop in during the day and make sure one of us is always with him. If he has one of us always there and we make it apparent that we know and support him the I doubt even someone as bigoted as his teacher is going to say something. Then we can embarrass him when we're with him." Sam suggested.

"I like that. Where are we all going to be stationed?" Loki asked.

"Well if I speak to the tour guide I could get Banner to give them a lesson on Gamma radiation as the first. Then, Barton or somebody drops in. After that they will be taken to a different lab with Shuri and T'Challa. By that time it should be lunch where Thor and Loki could drop in and the guardians land near the level 7 outside cafeteria. Then we can have Sam drop some stuff from above like a water balloon or something and Bucky bake his favourite cookies to bring to him. After Lunch they're looking around some other labs where Shuri could also be along with Banner. I think they're also going to be visiting the training rooms so Nat, Cap, Bucky and T'Challa could be fighting and Wanda, Vision and Strange could be training their magic." I suggested feeling better now that we were planning this.

March 6th

-Peter's POV-

I was in Chemistry faintly heading the teacher, Mrs Robbins, drone on and on about ionic bonding and how it differs to covalent bonding. It was something I already knew so I didn't need to listen until Ned started hitting my arm. Turning to look at him he simply nodded to the direction of the teacher. I turned around just to catch two words that made my heart drop.

"-Field trip!" Our teacher cheered with a big smile on her face.

Field trip? To where and why?

"That's right, we have organised a surprise field trip for you all as a reward for how well you've all done on your recent exams. Only the top 20 student of the entire school will have the privilege of going. The destination will be a surprise but I will say to bring an overnight bag and money for food and such. You're parents have already got an email consenting for your attendance and the bus will be leaving at 8am tomorrow so don't be late." She further explained.

The whole surprise field trip thing made me nervous beyond all belief. I may not technically be a Parker anymore but the luck definitely followed me and the idea of having to go on an overnight field trip made me terrified. Also, our parents got an email. This means that either Dad (Tony) or Pops (Steve) knew about this probably weeks ago and didn't tell me, this only fulled my anxiety.

Soon the bell went signalling the end of the day and our temporary liberation from this educational prison. On the way out Mrs Robins pulled me aside. It confused me at first until she put our most recent test infront of me. My name circled in big red circles, I know what's about to happen.

"Patricia, you must stop this. You're name is not Peter, you're not a boy. You were born a girl and therefore are, there is no picking and choosing with what God gave you. You must understand this by now. This little joke has gone too far that you're name has been requested to change on our register. Get it through you're head that you are not a boy and you will go to hell for thinking otherwise. One more incident like this and you'll have detention for the rest of the year. Got it?" She basically shouted at me pointing to my circled name on the test.

"No. My name is Peter and I am a boy, I don't care what God assigned me because he got it wrong. I am a boy and my name is Peter as we have gotten it legally changed." I rebutted getting impatient with her ignorance.

"Don't speak to me like that young man. You have no right to change Gods idea and destiny for you. Just thing, you're a girl meaning you can have kids and spread God's message to others and have many kids. Just what God planned for all women." She told me trying to sound sweet but came off and incredibly patronising.

At this point I was too angry to listen to her bulls**t (Gotta keep it Steve friendly people) so I stormed out the room. She started yelling for me to come back to the classroom but I didn't listen and continued walking till I reached the car Happy was in to take me home.

I got in the car and started telling Happy about my day while playing classic songs on my phone such as Highway to Hell, You gave love a bad name and Living on a Prayer. He pretended like he didn't care but I could tell he was listening and hanging onto every word I was saying. I love that about Happy, he acts like he doesn't care but in reality he does and he does a lot. He once caught Flash saying stuff about me and threatened to hit him with the car, he almost did as well but we were running late to a meeting I had to go to with Dad. Of course that didn't stop Flash as he still likes to torment me daily but he now does it more secretly making it more bearable.

We soon made it home and I found all of my dysfunctional family,minus the guardians who were on a Skype call, sat in the living room watching a movie on the tv. I quickly set my bag down on the kitchen island and settled right next to Tony (Dad) who was cuddling Cap (Pops). Everyone was asking me questions about my day and school life in general. They focused mostly on if people were bullying on me. It worried me a little because as much as I know I can go to them, I don't want to because I know that if I tell them everything that's happened they'll kill people and I don't want that for my family. Half of them only just got pardoned and I don't want the governments to revoke that.

"Sorry guys but I got homework. The pizza was delicious, is it okay if I invite Wade around?" I pleaded with Pops knowing he's more likely to say yes.

"Yes but that door stays open hound man. Do I make myself clear?" Pops asked in a stern voice.

"Crystal." I responded before taking out my phone to call Wade, grabbed my bag and walked to my room.

"Hey Baby Boy, what's up?" Wade asked after picking up his phone.

"Not much, Pops said you could come around." I told him making him slightly squeal.

"Okay Baby Boy, I'll be there in 10 minutes. I love you." Wade informed.

"I love you to Babe." I said before hanging up with a smile on my face.

-10 minutes later-

I was sat at my desk finishing my algebra homework when I heard someone knock on the window. Knowing it was Wade I turned with a smile on my face and let him in.

"Hey Baby Boy, how was your day?" Wade asked making himself comfortable on my bed.

"It was fine, quite boring if I'm honest. We did get told about this residential field trip tomorrow though. Sorry I won't be here for most of the weekend. I'm sure my Dads will love having you around." I joked sitting on his lap and cuddling into his chest.

"It's fine Pete. I'll just have to savour our time together now." He said wiggling his eyebrows and kissing me passionately.

"My Pops said to keep the door open." I told him pulling away with a massive blush spread across my cheeks.

"Does that rule apply to your en-suite?" Wade asked.

"I don't believe so." I answered getting up from his lap and dragging him into my en-suite, which is where we stayed for the rest of the night.

To be continued...

[scarletarosa]

Pluto

Greek god of death; King of the Underworld

Pluto (also Pluton or Hades) is the king of the Greek Underworld (which is called Hades) and is the lord of death. He presides over funeral rites and defends the right of the dead to their due burial. Pluto is also the god of the hidden wealth of the earth, from the fertile soil which nourishes the seed-grain, to the mined wealth of gold, silver, and other metals. One of the gods who works alongside him is Thanatos, who holds power over gentle deaths (while Pluto is death in general). In one myth, Pluto was said to have brought a plague to inflict Thebes after the king refused to give proper burials to warriors, which depicts Pluto’s harsher aspect of delivering death and justice. Pluto was also usually regarded as an infertile god, for a god of death should, by his very nature, be incapable of siring any children.

Pluto was depicted as a dark-bearded, regal god. He was depicted as either enthroned in Hades, holding a bird-tipped sceptre, or as the giver of wealth, pouring fertility from a cornucopia. The Romans named him Dis, or Pluto, the Latin form of his Greek title Plouton, "the Lord of Riches."

Myths: According to Hesiod, Pluto’s parentage is said to be of Kronos (god of time) and Rhea (goddess of earth and motherhood). He was said to have been devoured by Kronos along with four of his siblings while the infant Zeus was secretly hidden away by Rhea after his birth. When Zeus later returned and fought Kronos, his siblings were spat out and together they drove the titan gods from the heavens and locked them away in the pit of Tartaros. When the three victorious brothers then drew lots for the division of the cosmos, Hades received the third portion, the dark gloomy realm of the Underworld, as his domain. However, in another version of Pluto’s parentage, it is said by the Orphics that he is actually the son of Nyx (goddess of night) and Olethros (god of doom). In my workings with Pluto and Nyx, they have said the latter myth to be the true version, which makes Pluto the half-brother of deities such as Eris (strife), Philotes (unity), Hemera (daylight), Aether (god of the aether and upper light), etc.

In another myth, Pluto had desired a bride and petitioned Zeus to grant him one of his daughters. The god offered him the young Persephone, the daughter of Demeter. However, knowing that Persephone would resist the marriage, he assented to the forceful abduction of the girl and carried her away on his chariot as she cried out for help. When Demeter learned of this, she was furious and in great despair, causing a great dearth to fall upon the Earth until her daughter was safely returned. Zeus was eventually forced to concede lest mankind perish, and the girl was fetched forth from the Underworld. However, since she had eaten the pomegranate seed after being deceived by Pluto, she was forced to return to him for a portion of each year.

Apollodorus in the following passage summarizes the contents of the Homeric Hymn to Demeter (quoted here in the following section). Pseudo-Apollodorus, Bibliotheca 1. 29-33 (trans. Aldrich) (Greek mythographer C2nd A.D.):  

“Plouton [Haides] fell in love with Persephone, and with Zeus' help secretly kidnapped her. I begin to sing of rich-haired Demeter Semne Thea (Reverend goddess) - of her and her trim-ankled daughter [Persephone] whom Aidoneus rapt away, given to him by all-seeing Zeus the loud-thunderer. Apart from Demeter Lady of the golden sword (khrysaoros), Giver of glorious fruits (aglaokarpos), she was playing with the deep-bosomed daughters of Okeanos and gathering flowers over a soft meadow, roses and crocuses and beautiful violets, irises also and hyacinths and the narcissus, which Ge (Earth) made to grow at the will of Zeus and to please the Host of Many [Haides], to be a snare for the bloom-like girl...The girl was amazed and reached out with both hands to take the lovely toy; but the wide-pathed earth yawned there in the Nysion plain, and the lord, Host of Many, with his immortal horses sprang out upon her...

He caught her up reluctant on his golden car and bare her away lamenting. Then she cried out shrilly with her voice, calling upon her father, the Son of Kronos [Zeus], who is most high and excellent. But no one, either of the deathless gods or of mortal men, heard her voice, nor yet the olive-trees bearing rich fruit: only tender-hearted Hekate, bright-coiffed, the daughter of Persaios, heard the girl from her cave, and the lord Helios (the Sun), Hyperion's bright son, as she cried to her father, the Son of Kronos [Zeus]. But he was sitting aloof, apart from the gods, in his temple where many pray, and receiving sweet offerings from mortal men. So he, that Son of Kronos [Haides], of many names...was bearing her away by leave of Zeus on his immortal chariot--his own brother's child and all unwilling. And so long as she, the goddess, yet beheld earth and starry heaven and the strong flowing sea, and still hoped to see her dear mother [Demeter] and the tribes of the eternal gods, so long hope calmed her great heart for all her trouble; and the heights of the mountains and the depths of the sea rang with her immortal voice: and her queenly mother heard her.”

Appearance: A man in his 40’s with tanned skin, black hair, a short black beard, and black eyes (only the irises). He wears a black toga and often has a solemn expression.  

Personality: Pluto is very solitary, withdrawn, just, fair, serious, aloof, brooding, and compassionate. He requires his followers to respect the resting places of the dead, to show humility, and to overcome their toxic ways. He is one who understands that we all must go through the depths of suffering if we wish to gain wisdom and become better people. Yet this is something very difficult to do, so he is glad to assist along this path if one politely requests him to do so. Pluto is also a healer, but only in regards to mental sufferings due to loss and regrets; other things are not specialties of his. Pluto is a highly respectable deity and will be the guardian of many of us once we die (unless we enter a different kingdom). One should not speak cruelly of him or disrespect him due to his role as a divine king, lest they seek to invoke his wrath.  

Personal experiences: Pluto embodies a feeling of immense loneliness, and had even bound himself to the Underworld as he felt that he could belong nowhere else. But in doing this, he is unable to leave this realm for very long and has made it very difficult for him to find a companion. So, in an act of desperation, he kidnapped Persephone when he saw her in a meadow one day and carried her off to his realm as she raged against him. He pleaded with her to listen and be understanding, but of course, someone who has been kidnapped does not respond well to this. So Pluto kept her locked up in his palace hoping that she would eventually calm down and come to want to understand him, but instead, Persephone became angrier and even more desperate to escape. This soon led Pluto to force himself upon her, and he continued this for ages. After a very long time of being kept prisoner, Persephone finally managed to be rescued by other deities, but she was not the same and had lost her connection to flowers due to her stay in the Underworld. She has been traumatized ever since and harbours great anger towards Pluto and any who change the myths about what had occurred. Pluto, however, is not the same as he was before and is repenting for his actions.  

Nowadays, Pluto is a better version of his old self but still pains over his solitude. However, he does receive some company from some visiting family members such as Nyx and a few of his siblings, like Philotes. However, one is not advised to enter the Underworld through astral travel unless they are highly experienced and are granted permission to enter since this realm is not a pleasant place and some areas can even cause insanity. Despite this dark, abysmal domain, Pluto is a very understanding and patient god who is not quick to judge others and helps us to overcome our past evils in order to be reborn. Pluto also has a very strong understanding of pain and solitude, and what these emotions can turn a person into, so he can assist in healing these burdening emotions from our hearts.  

He has explained that Pluto is his true name while Hades is simply the name of the portion of the Underworld which he rules over (as the Underworld is immensely vast and has multiple kingdoms such as Kur, Duat, Helheim, etc). His role as king of Hades is to watch over the spirits of the dead who enter his domain; where they are then tormented in order to overcome their wrong-doings, negative habits/emotions, and harmful obsessions. It is not like Hell, since only evil spirits go there and they are tortured for eternity in far worse ways; the Underworld is moreso a place of harsh lessons and rebirth before one is allowed entrance to Elysium. The torments of the Underworld are also all symbolic and assist the spirit in realizing what they must change about themselves before they can become anew, yet this process usually takes many years (sometimes decades or centuries). Pluto also has power over death itself (since he embodies it) and has explained that the god Thanatos is an aspect of himself, representing a small portion of his own power. Pluto also has the power of illusion, which makes him able to cause spirits and humans alike to see whatever he wants them to see (even able to manipulate one’s astral senses).  

Some of Pluto’s Epithets:

Adámastos (Unconquerable)  

Adesius (The Grave)

Agelastus (Melancholic)

Aidis (The Unseen)

Amænthis (The One who Gives and Receives)

Ánax (King)

Eubulius (The Consoler of Sorrow)

Feralis Deus (The Dismal God)

Larthy Tytiral (Sovereign of Tartaros)

Moiragetes (Guide of the Fates)

Nekrôn Sôtêr (Saviour of the Dead)

Opertus (The Concealed)

Polydegmôn (Host of Many)

Pluton (Lord of Riches)

Offerings: ginger ale, spiced rum, well water, ginger root, plums, mushrooms, eggplant, beetroot, parsnips, black peppercorns, bones, ash, scorpions, vipers, clay pots, black candles, styrax incense, chalk powder, black or grey rags, sceptres, scythes, black or dark purple cloaks, ebony wood, black leather moccasins, moleskin, old silver coins, bronze, silver, ivory, rust, obsidian, onyx, jet, charcoal

The Underworld

[awanderingdeal]

Summer Camp AU - Chapter 3 - Leo

Sorry about the wait on this one! Our darling Leo will be taking us through this chapter. 

CW: mentions of injury (minor)

Fic Rating: T

Please message me if you feel that any content warnings need to be added or the rating is not appropriate. 

Thank you to my wonderful betas @bkfstclubmember and @fleetingpieces. 

The characters in this fic belong to @lumosinlove and you should definitely go and check out her fics!

For previous and future chapters please see my masterlist

Leo had only been to summer camp once as a kid, and that had been back in middle school. It had escaped his memory how draining it was to meet so many new people, learn the layout of the site, and to keep track of all the rules he needed to remember. Between that, and the bruises littering his body from the evening of Dodgeball and Capture the Flag, Leo was exhausted. Happy, but exhausted. 

Regulus hadn’t crept back into their cabin until the early hours of the morning and had declined coming to breakfast in favour of more sleep. It meant that Leo was alone when he set his breakfast tray down at an empty table. He was only able to savour the quiet for a couple of minutes though, before the chaos of camp caught up with him. 

“Leo!” a boy said, startling Leo into looking up from his eggs. He recognised him from the game of dodgeball; he’d hit Leo square in the chest. Besides, it would have been difficult to forget that face. Cropped curls, a chiseled jawline and deep brown eyes. He’d cut his camp t-shirt into a low tank top. Leo noticed the scars, a slightly paler brown than the rest of his skin, peeking out through the oversized arm holes. He’d never seen anybody wear them so proudly before and it made him want to smile. Not only for the other boy, but for himself. Because if 13 year old Leo, heck if 17 year old Leo, had been told that one day he’d be in a place that would allow him to be authentically himself, and he’d be surrounded by others who understood what it was to be different, he never would have believed it. 

“Morning,” Leo had to glance at the boy's badge; he was awful with names. “Thomas,” he said with a smile. He’d only said two words to the boy yesterday, but Thomas seemed like the type who would be friends with anybody that was willing. 

“Call me Talker,” Thomas said, reaching out a hand for Leo to shake. “Please.” 

“Morning, Talker,” Leo repeated with a laugh, shaking the hand before shovelling more eggs into his mouth. 

Soon the table was full, and Leo found himself in a heated conversation about whether kindles were better than books. Somehow, that led to him lapping up James’ stories of previous camp disasters until Lily shoved her boyfriend and told him to stop scaring the rookie. 

The chatter was interrupted by the static of a microphone. Everybody, including Leo, turned towards the source of the noise. A flustered looking young man stood over by the buffet table, clutching his hands around the microphone so hard that his knuckles were white. James cupped his hands around his mouth and hollered, “Go Loops!”

The man smiled and gave a nervous cough, but the encouragement seemed to work. “Hi everybody, I’m Remus Lupin. Most people just call me Loops though. My pronouns are he/him and I’ve been coming to this camp for the last two years. Clearly I didn’t suck too much, because they hired me as a medic this year,” he paused, his eyes searching the crowd. They landed on the man that Leo had met as Regulus’ brother the day before, and his smile grew wider. “I’m going to be leading the first aid training this morning, so if you could all be out at the pavilion in 15 minutes that would be fantastic...thanks.” 

The room fell silent as Remus set the microphone back in its stand and walked off, receiving a pat on the shoulder from Dumo as he passed. The hall soon erupted with noise again as people finished up their food and made to follow the instructions they had been given.

“Alright! Let’s go save some lives,” Thomas boomed, downing the last of his glass of milk and grabbing his tray. He’d only taken two steps before he turned back around and flashed a grin at Leo. “Nutty! I forgot to say. Dumo asked us to film some promo TikToks and your beautiful face would be great in it. You in?” 

Leo had no idea who ‘us’ was, but he’d promised himself to take every opportunity that this camp threw at him so he nodded, and gave a small, “Sure, why not?”

“Great, I’ll see you after dinner then,” Thomas said, walking off with a bounce in his step.

When Leo made his way to the pavilion, he was given a card with the number 1 on it by Remus. He didn’t know what it was for, but clutched it in his hand as he looked around for Regulus, hoping they had managed to wake up on time. He was relieved to set his eyes on them talking to June, a girl that Leo had met yesterday. She had been a bit intimidating, leaning against a tree, dressed in biker boots and a leather jacket that he later learnt had a bisexual flag stiched into back. However, she’d turned out to be extremely friendly and Leo relaxed knowing Regulus was in good hands. 

“Okay! Listen up, folks,” Remus called out. “Each of you has been given a card with a number on it. There is one other person with the same number as you. Please find them, they are going to be your partner for today’s training session.”

Different people seemed to have different strategies for finding their partner. Some decided to stay where they were and just shout their numbers. Others darted around asking each individual what their number was. Leo didn’t need to use either to find his. With his first glance across the crowd, he settled his eyes on a person holding a card with the number one on it. With a triumphant smile, he weaved through the other counselors quickly so as not to lose sight of his partner.   

“Hey, I’m Leo. I think you’re mine,” Leo introduced himself, glancing quickly at the nametag on Logan’s chest before looking up at his face again. The action had become almost habitual already. 

Logan peered from under the brim of his hat. He had deep green eyes that Leo swore were looking into his soul as they swept over the length of his body.  “Yeah, I suppose you are,” the boy said eventually. “My name’s Logan, but I guess you already know that. Pleased to meet you.” 

“The pleasure is all mine,” Leo mumbled quietly under his breath. He had promised himself that he wasn’t going to do the cliched ‘summer camp romance’ thing. After all, he’d just gotten over the ‘closeted jock’ situation and that hadn’t been fun, to say the least. He wanted to be done with men for a very long time, but it didn’t hurt to look, right?

Before Logan could respond, Remus had gathered their attention again and they got swept away with learning how to recognise and assist the injuries and ailments that they were most likely to see over the coming weeks.

“Merde!” Logan gasped, pulling Leo from his thoughts. He figured that he had wound the bandage too tight around Logan’s arm.

“Sorry! Sorry,” he apologised, trying to remove it as quickly as he could. “Are you okay?”

Logan frowned for a second, “I am fine. Why would you ask that?”

“Was it not too tight?” Leo asked, gesturing to Logan’s arm, a little confused. 

Logan’s features knitted into a tighter frown before he seemed to have a realisation. “Oh, non. That was fine. Perfect. I will never bleed to death with you around,” he said, gesturing for Leo to do the bandage again so that Remus could inspect his work. 

“Okay…” Leo hesitated, “Why did you swear then?”

“You’re the angel,” Logan grinned, and Leo just grew more confused. Logan huffed out a laugh. “I believe you met my boyfriend yesterday. Tall...although, not as tall as you. Red hair. Bit of an idiot.”

“You mean Finn,” Leo smiled, remembering the boy from yesterday. “Wait. Did you say boyfriend?” 

Leo had been one of the people allocated to defend his team's flag. His back was to it, but out of the corner of his eye, he could see the blue, white and pink stripes. Dumo had taken the opportunity to educate the counsellors on the flags of different identities before letting each team choose which would be theirs for the game. A timid looking blonde girl had whooped so loudly before her pale cheeks had turned crimson that it had been a unanimous decision for their team to take the trans flag. 

It had been eerily quiet for a while when three people came crashing out of the trees. Leo recognised two of them; a Russian boy who had insisted everybody called him Kuny instead of butchering his name, and Jackson Nadeau. They were both on his team.The person they were chasing was not. Leo glanced to his right, checking that there was nobody coming from that direction before he tried to intercept the intruder. Leo had thought he was fast, but they had easily whipped past him and Leo was left watching them run. He didn’t have time to call out between seeing the rock and watching them fall flat on their face.  

“Are you okay?” Leo shouted, forgetting the game as he ran over to check they hadn’t hurt themselves too badly. He was worried that they weren’t moving, but just as Leo kneeled down, they groaned and rolled onto their back. 

“Shit,” Leo said, taking in the blood dripping down the pale skin. “Hey, I’m Leo. Can you tell me your name?” Leo asked, already knowing it was Finn from the name tag, but he wanted to check that the boy knew himself. 

“Fi-Fish,” the red haired boy slurred, blinking rapidly. “Am I in heaven?”  he asked, reaching up to cup Leo’s face.

“No, you’re at Camp Gryffindor. Not quite heaven, but pretty close,” Leo gave a nervous laugh. “Just stay still. We’re going to get somebody to help you.”

“You look like an angel to me,” Finn whispered, making Leo blush. He gave a little cough before looking up at Kuny and Jackson, who had joined him at Finn’s side. “Can one of you go and grab a medic, please?”

Leo had been meaning to check up on Finn. Both because he had been worried about him, but also because he hadn’t been able to get that red hair and those freckles out of mind all night. Finn was beautiful, of course he had a boyfriend. 

“Yeah,” Logan nodded, his smile widening a second. “My boyfriend who apparently met an angel last night. He’s not wrong.”

Leo scratched at the back of his neck before continuing to wrap the bandage around Logan’s arm. “How is he?” 

“He’s fine. He’ll have a headache for a few days, but Lupin fixed him up,” Logan reassured. He hummed and pulled at the grass with his unoccupied hand. “Wouldn’t shut up about the blue-eyed angel called Leo though. I tried to make him stay in bed today, but he insisted you were real. Seems you are.” 

Leo thought his face was going to permanently take on its new shade of pink with the amount of blushing he was doing. “Isn’t it weird for you? Your boyfriend calling me an angel?” 

Logan shrugged, “Non, he didn’t lose his eyesight just because we got into a relationship. Besides, I trust him.”

Thankfully, Remus chose that moment to join them, praising Leo’s work and making a few comments on how it could be made a little better. Once he had gone, Logan began to tell him about his life growing up in Canada as if the previous conversation had never happened. Leo wasn’t sure whether he was relieved or frustrated. 

In return, Leo told Logan about the cooking classes that had led him to applying to work in the camp kitchens that summer. He found that Logan was actually a good listener, and nearly ended up spilling the details of the drama that led him to taking those classes as a replacement for the hockey games he was due to be playing. Another time maybe. Leo wasn’t going to think about how much he hoped there would be another time. 

The rest of the morning session seemed to fly by after that, and soon Leo found himself saying goodbye to Logan in order to find Regulus for lunch. 

“I’ll see you around,” Leo smiled.

“Sure thing, mon ange,” Logan said easily, and Leo tried not to read too much into that.

[like-the-wings-of-butterflies]

Pamper (Platonic!Queen x Reader)

Summary: The boys bring comfort during that time of the month

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1335

Requested By: @foxinaforestofstars - Hey there! I've spent the last week reading all your Queen fics and I adore your writing! So, I was wondering if I could request something platonic with the dear boys: Reader is on her period and the cramps are so bad she's barely able to move, covered in cold sweat and throwing up and the boys are taking care of her because it hurts them to see reader in pain. Thanks in advance!

A/N: Thank you so much for requesting! I get severe menstrual pains so much of this is written from my own experiences but I completely understand that it’s different for everyone. Personally I think this is one of my worst fics because I haven’t written anything in well over a month but I’m hoping that this is similar to what you had in mind!

(Also in light of J.K R*****g’s repeated transphobic behaviours and the T***p Administration’s reversal of trans health protections, just a friendly reminder that this blog is a safe space and this post is for everyone who menstruates! Men, women, nonbinary people, literally anyone. I won’t hesitate to destroy terfs on sight :) )

Feedback is always appreciated! ♡

“(Y/N)?” Roger called, letting himself into your apartment with the spare key you kept hidden under the doormat. For midday your kitchen and living room was incredibly dark, the curtains still drawn from the previous night “Sorry for barging in but you didn’t pick up when I called.” He continued, peering around as he quietly made his way to your bedroom. “I was in the area anyway so I just thought I’d check in.”

He couldn’t say what he was expecting, but it sure wasn’t this. There you were, hunched over on the edge of your bed, one hand on your stomach and the other holding your head.

“Shit (Y/N) are you alright?” Roger gasped, snapping into action and running to your pyjama clad form. Kneeling on the floor in front of you, he gently lifted your chin with his fingers when you didn’t respond. Brushing the unkept hair out of your face, he smiled sympathetically at your bloodshot eyes and shimmering skin, a product of the silvery tears and sweat rolling down your face from the searing pain that found itself in your abdomen.

With short quick breaths and a waiver in your voice you whispered “No I’m fine Rog, it’s just that time of the month you know?” You quickly wiped away the emerging tears that were threatening to fall and plastered on the most superficial of smiles, “No need to worry about me, I can take care of myself.”

He stared at you disapprovingly, shaking his head lightly, “I don’t doubt that but I don’t want to leave you here on your own either.”

“Roger I promise you I-“

“Did you want me to call the others?” Roger queried, seemingly unimpressed with your stubbornness by the way he interrupted you, “We can help out if you like?”

Although both of you knew that you didn't have much of a say in the matter, he allowed you to mull over the offer for a moment, reassuringly running his hands up and down your arms. Caving into his persistence, you nodded your head silently and watched as his face lit up with a smile. Quickly, he leant up and placed a quick kiss upon your forehead before lifting himself from the ground.

“I’ll be right back.” He vowed, running off into the living room to call Freddie, John and Brian. Part of you felt that you would be wasting their time and being selfish, but deep down you knew you’d drop everything in an instant if any of them were unwell and needed taking care of. The day would pass by far sooner and their company alone would ease the torment your body was putting you through.

You didn’t realise how excited you were until the remaining three boys bounded through the apartment door. While you expected their bright and energetic selves, you were met hastily with sympathetic and worried eyes upon seeing your bundled up frame. Roger had managed to get you to lie down in the comforts of your bedsheets and you wasted no time in curling yourself up into a nest of sorts, basking in the warmth that it provided.

With all four of them together, they quickly decided that Brian and Roger would go out to gather ingredients for the lunch that you hadn’t yet eaten while John and Freddie stayed to help you out where they could.

You and Freddie weren’t exactly shy when it came to physical affection with one another. You were the kind of friends that found comfort in innocent intimacy, holding hands and cuddling one another being a common occurrence. So when he offered to massage your stomach, you couldn’t accept fast enough. As you lied flat on your back, Freddie sat on the edge of the bed beside you, running his warm hands across your skin and soothing the aches that you fell victim to each and every month.

“Look at the positives my dear,” He mused with a gentle smile, brushing his thumb across your navel, “at least you’re not pregnant.”

“Right now I almost wish I was,” You replied jokingly, a puff of laughter escaping your lips. “I’d do anything if it meant this would stop.”

Right on cue, John manoeuvred his way around your bedroom door with a tray in his hands, “I made you some peppermint tea.” He announced cheerfully, placing the tray onto your bedside table, “Veronica asks for it often when she’s feeling like this, it helps her so I’m hoping it’ll help you too.” He confided, patiently waiting for you to sit up. Freddie wrapped an arm around your waist and gently lifted you so your back was leaning against his chest while John gathered one of the daintily painted teacups and handed it to you. Ever the considerate, he handed a second cup he made to Freddie and then grabbed a third cup he made for himself and clinked it against yours; joining in on Freddie’s and your quiet chatter, so you wouldn’t have to drink alone.

With your mind at ease as a result of the comforting tea and Freddie’s soothing movements, you found your eyes growing heavy and a warm humming sensation settled it’s way into your body. Before long, John and Freddie’s voices grew quieter as you indulged in the rest you so desperately needed.

When you awoke, a bright shade of orange flooded through your bedroom window. Hues of reds and yellows painting the ceiling in the most beautiful display. The pain in your abdomen had long subsided and you instead found yourself in the less sufferable state of deep fatigue. You squinted your eyes with a hand to your face as you adjusted to the light before making out the shillouette of Brian in the corner of the room. He sat perched in the armchair positioned next to the window, a cascade of curls falling around his face as he peered down at the book in his grasp. ‘Steppenwolf’ it read, by Hermann Hesse. Completely engrossed, he didn’t notice you were awake until you let out an audible yawn.

“Evening (Y/N).” He greeted, eyes still glued to his book as he finished off the page.

“Hey Bri.” You smiled back groggily, “I take it the others have left?” You queried, noticing the comfortable silence that enveloped your small flat.

Brian nodded while closing his book and placing it on the nearby table, “Rog had some errands to run, Freddie had an appointment and John has a date with Veronica.”

You nodded softly in response, a sudden wave of guilt washing over you. “Thank you for all taking care of me today. Although I’m so sorry I’ve kept you so long, you really didn’t have to stay.”

“Oh nonsense (Y/N), I wouldn’t want you to wake up in an empty house,” He reasoned, “Besides, we agreed that we wouldn’t leave you alone until you were feeling better.”

How thoughtful they all were, taking time out of their day to tend to you. In a bid to show Brian that you were in fact doing much better, you attempted you lift yourself out of bed and try walking around for the first time that day. However when you stood, a sudden wave of nausea washed over you and gave you the false sense of motion, making you lose your balance. Brian’s arms quickly steadied you and as the room stopped spinning you felt the all too familiar burn of bile rising up your throat.

Noticing you paling face, Brian swiftly walked you to the bathroom and dampened a washcloth to press against your forehead, “Chrissie’s out with her friends tonight so I could stay for a bit longer if you like?”

From the position you were in, knelt over the toilet bowl with tiles digging into your knees, you mustered a sharp nod, “Thank you for putting up with me.”

He laughed lightly in response, rubbing a soothing hand over your shoulder, “We’re here any time you need us.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Tags: @kelleypenac @chlobo6 @crazyweirdocalledfriday

(Please don’t hesitate to let me know if you want to be added or removed!)

[pennie-umbra]

A perfect birthday

This is for the day 4 of the @dukexietyweek: Parents.

Hope you enjoy it!

Summary: This is the first one of Janus' birthday that they are celebrating together since Virgil and Remus adopted her and Virgil wants it to be perfect.

Characters: Remus sanders, Virgil sanders, Logan Sanders, Janus sanders, mentions to Patton Sanders

Warnings: swearing (some of it in front of middle schoolers), something that is not exactly a panic attack but could have evolved into one.

Obs: Janus is a trans girl here and uses exclusively she/her pronouns.

"Who do you want us to invite?" Besides Logan, I mean" Virgil asked as the family finished lunch, looking down at Janus, who shrugged.

Obs: Janus is a trans girl here and uses exclusively she/her pron

"Dunno. I'm not really friends with anyone besides him" 

"Oh, you could invite Patton! You like him, don't you?" Remus suggested excitedly, looking between his husband and their daughter, waiting for approval. Janus fixed her gaze on her food, embarrassed.

"I mean, whatever, he's just nice to me, but he's nice to everyone. I'm pretty sure he doesn't even like me" 

"Well, then it's a great opportunity for him to get to know how cool you're!" 

"It's supposed to be my birthday, dad, I'm supposed to have fun, not be trying to impress some boy" she replied sharply. The kitchen stayed in a heavy silence for some seconds before Virgil said, softly.

"We just want you to make friends." she sighed.

"I know. But people already don't really like me. I'm new, I'm weird, I'm trans-" Virgil and Remus exchanged a worried look as Janus looked down sadly. 

"Hey" Remus started, putting a hand on her shoulder "Being weird and trans fucking rules, remember that, but we get it, school can be scary and making friends can be even scarier" 

"Especially if you're trying to be friends with middle schoolers. They are the devil" Virgil agreed and Janus chuckled. 

"Maybe we can keep the long list of guests for my next birthday, how about that? Then I won't be giving you guys too much work" she suggested.

"Oh, don't worry about that, we got everything under control, Remus, did you order the cake?"

"Was I supposed to?"

"... We got most things under control" she rolled her eyes playfully.

"Hm. How about that: I'll call Logan and order a pizza, you guys find me a gift. Suggestion: money" Janus quickly decided, putting her plate on the sink and going to her room, already picking her phone to call Logan. Virgil immediately turned to Remus as she entered her room. 

"I can't believe you forgot the cake. This needs to be perfect! We can't ruin her first birthday with us!" 

"Hey, emo, don't worry, it will be fine! We don't need to be perfect, man, as long as she has fun"

"I know, I know, I just- being a dad is hard and I can't stop worried that we'll do the wrong thing it's already hard because she is older and we need her to adapt and we know she had a tough life before the adoption and I just want to be there for her and-"

"Virgil, breathe with me" Remus said calmly, putting a hand on his husband's shoulder and guiding him through a resting exercise for some minutes until Virgil got better.

"Thanks" he whispered. Remus held his hands, looking his partner in the eyes.

"Being a parent is hard, dude, it's on the job description, but we'll get there. Together, the three of us. Also, if it serves as any consolation, we literally cannot fuck up as much as yours parents" Virgil chucked.

"Or yours"

"Oh yeah, talk about shitty people"

"I'm glad we don't have to deal with them anymore"

"So am I. Hey, about that cake, we won't be having a personalized one, sorry for that, but how about I pick one up at the supermarket? It's better than nothing" 

"Oh so you're not totally useless after all" Virgil provoked, with a grin "Yeah, bring some snacks too, I'll try to clean the house a little bit while you're gone" 

"Cool. Let me just wash the dishes-"

"Look at him, offering himself to do chores" Virgil commented sarcastically. 

"Oh shut up, I'll just do it and then I'll go" 

"'Kay" he smiled, messing Remus' hair fondly and giving him the plates.

•••

When Remus got back the house was already cleaner and Janus' weird nerd friend was already there.

"Oh finally! Your dad is home, he brought food!" Virgil announced, relieved to be able to back away from the videogame where the kids were destroying him. Middle schoolers really are the devil, even the nice ones. 

"Yeah, I sure hope he did" Janus replied, not even looking away from the screen. Her dad rolled his eyes, going to open the door and let his husband in, who carried three plastic bags and a chocolate cake.

"I'm here guys, you can start the party now!"

"Of course. We were playing some video games while we waited for you"

"Yeah, wanna play with us? I didn't want to say anything, but" Janus put her hand in front of her mouth as if she was going to tell a secret, but said as loudly as always: "because dad Virgil sucks at this" 

"Hey! Show some respect! I haven't played in a long time"

"Fuck yeah girl, but don't you cry about it when I beat you, oh hey Logan, sup!" 

"Good afternoon, Mr. Storm."

"Oh, I bought you something!" He grabbed one of the bags as Virgil organized everything at the table, coming back with a jar full of jam. "I knew you liked it so I bought" Logan's eyes were almost shining.

"Thank you so much, Mr. Storm!"

"He got something but I don't? It's like you don't even care about me!" Janus said dramatically. 

"I did buy you something, I- you know what" he grabbed his wallet, picking a one hundred dollars bill from there and handling it to Janus, who accepted the gift with a wide smile "Use it wisely"

"Thanks, dad!" 

"Hey, I bought you something too, an actual gift, by the way" Remus subtly showed his middle finger to his husband, who smiled and grabbed a small box, wrapped in gift paper, handing it to Janus, who immediately opened it, only to find an eyeshadow palette. She didn't answer immediately, slowly getting to her feet and hugging Virgil, whispering:

"Thanks" said genuinely.

"I can teach you how to do makeup! I was really good at each when I was trying to be a cis girl!" Remus suggested right after. She rolled her eyes, but didn't stop smiling.

"It's not a competition, you dumb old man. But thanks anyway. You guys are cool" 

"Oh, I see that it's time for the gifts, in this case, here is mine, Janus, I hope you appreciate it," Logan added, grabbing a heavy book from his backpack and giving it to his best friend. It was called 'Philosophy through History'. "We can talk about it at school" 

"I'm waiting for it, you big nerd" Logan opened one of his rare smiles. 

"Nice" Remus grabbed a bowl filled with Doritos, starting to eat it "What do you guys wanna do? How about a game?" 

"Oh, we could play chess!" Logan suggested.

"Chess? How the fuck do you even know how to play chess? Oh, shit, don't tell your mom I said that. I mean, the "fuck" part, you can tell that I asked how you know how to play chess, she probably already thinks I'm dumb so whatever"

"Mr. Storm, if I was to tell my mom everytime that you swore in front of me, she probably wouldn't allow me to come here anymore" 

"Yeah, right. How about we play poker? Everyone knows how to play poker, right?" Logan looked at him dead in the eye.

"Mr. Storm, I'm ten. However, I'm friends with Janus, so yes, of course I know how to play poker" 

"Yes! What are we going to bet?!" Janus exclaimed, smiling devilishly. 

"Cake slices" Virgil was the one to answer. She seemed disappointed, but quickly accepted it.

"Yeah, ok, I'll grab the cards, oh Logan, come with me, I totally forgot to show you a book I just bought, you'll love it, I can lend it to you if you want to"

"Alright" as the kids went to their room, Remus turned to his husband.

"The makeup was a great idea, you know?"

"Yeah. I would have liked for my parents to support me when I was her age. Would have made it easier to come to terms with my gender" 

"I feel you, man. See, we can do it" Remus said, holding his husband's hand. 

"I guess we aren't that bad" 

"Yeah" Remus smiled, planting a soft kiss on Virgil's lips, who smiled too. 

"I'm going to destroy you at poker"

"I would love to see you try" 

[wolfywordweaver]

Trans Mages Week 2021 DAY 6 - solidarity, pastel/punk

NOTE: this started out with the idea that Baz's dad didn't accept him being gender fluid but has somehow morphed into something a bit more. There's MalMage, a brewing storm, genderfluid vampire Baz, potentially gender confused Simon, biker gangs, magic, fantasy world building, 50s inspired towns, and political intrigue. What a mess. I don't know where I'm going with this, but it's possible that I'll morph this into a full blown thing.

The roar of the motorcycles was a familiar buzz in Simon’s ears, something that usually lulled him into a state of zen. However, this time there was a change in the feel of the roar, and he could catch a different scent on the wind. There was a town up ahead.

It took conscious effort to keep his folded wings from stretching out behind him at the thought of being able to make a stop and maybe even spending a couple of days somewhere. The Mage’s Men had been on the road for a while, slowly making their way to a kingdom out further past the High Mountains.

There had been a few odd jobs here and there to keep them fed and content until they got this big one, and he was hoping that maybe the nearing Watford would have a little something to do. It had been a while since he’d tasted a nice hot scone or something sweeter than a pack of discount sandwich cookies.

Davy threw back a few hand signs and Simon grinned widely. A much needed stop was just what they needed. The rest of the ride into down was a blur, and soon the whole pack was taking a quick tour to gauge the place.

Watford was a lot like most of the little towns hovering outside of capital cities. Coven’s magic signature was over everything, a bond of protection should anything befall the small town. Davy was not a huge fan of Coven, and Simon glanced nervously at the man.

Davy Mage was the leader of their gang, a man with great vision, testicular fortitude, and a willingness to do whatever it took to reach his goals. He’d earned the title of Mage after years of battle with another family, and Simon was quite lucky to have gained the title of Heir.

Whether Davy was his actual biological father or not was up for debate, but Simon tried not to worry himself about things like that. Davy was the closest thing he had to a father, and knowing the truth of the matter wouldn’t change anything. Any curiosity or whisper of discontent was tucked deep down with all the other things he didn’t want to think about.

Right now, the only thing he wanted to think about was finding a nice inn that offered hot breakfast. Freshly cooked food and a soft place to sleep sounded blissful, and he definitely needed a shower. Offing another round of goblins after his head had left him in dire need of getting cleaned up. Even his leathers had gotten messy in that battle.

Thankfully, the Mage didn’t change his mind and direct them out of town. They rode through the town square, taking in the views of shops and concerned looking citizens. It was normal to have people frightened of them until their intentions were made known.

There were a lot of wandering gangs that were carrying out missions from the larger kingdoms, and most towns never knew if they were on a hit list or not. If these guys were under the protection of Coven, they might be less than friendly for the duration of their stay, but Simon didn’t care. It’s not like he planned on settling here or anything.

Just a bit of food and rest was all he needed to be ready to move on.

The whole gang pulled up to a modest looking inn, and then the engines were shut off. Groaning in relief, Simon swung his leg back over and off his bike before allowing his blood-red wings and tail to stretch out. Premal jumped back in annoyance so that he didn’t get knocked off his feet, but Simon couldn’t be bothered to care.

Everyone knew that they needed to keep their distance.

“Simon,” the Mage barked as he pulled off his helmet and ran a hand through his hair, “get up there and scope things out.”

“Yes, sir!”

Flying was one of the only things better than riding down the open road, Simon thought as he felt the wind whipping around his body. The large wings at his back beat loudly, working to bring him up high enough to skim his hands along the underside of a few stray clouds.

Whooping loudly, Simon dipped and rolled through the wind as he examined the area around Watford. There didn’t seem to be any signs of danger and the Kingdom of Coven's capitol was far away enough that they would probably keep their nose out of the Mage’s business unless a fight broke out.

He was surprised to see a rather large school for such a small town, but shrugged it off and made his way back down to the Mage.

“Looks clear,” he panted upon landing.

The Mage nodded and thoughtfully stroked his neat thin mustache. “Good, good. No signs of the Coven moving?”

“Nope.” Those green eyes narrowed in annoyance and Simon quickly corrected himself. “Uh, no, sir.”

“Perfect.”

All of the Men waited outside while Davy and Simon went in to negotiate a stay. Things almost always tended to work better in Davy’s favor when he had Simon hanging around.

Blue eyes took in the modest décor of the place and noted that there was a lot of school memorabilia. These people were awfully proud of their school. The goat on the coat of arms was kind of silly, he thought. Once the negotiations were through, Simon was put in a room with two other Men and they all unpacked their few belongings.

Simon enjoyed a hot shower and washed off the reminders of the past few weeks. He still had a healing wound from a sword to his side a couple of weeks ago, but there was already a scaly patch over it helping it heal.

The scales would fall off after it was completely repaired, another strange bit of the magic that always seemed to be around him.

Once he was washed clean and in fresh clothes, Simon got the Mage to magically hide his wings away so that he could better explore the shops. There had been too many mishaps with his wings and broken goods and the Mage didn’t want to pay for anymore so he would begrudgingly oblige.

With all that finished, Simon strode out on the town in his cleanest pair of jeans and a white t-shirt with his leather jacket over it. Premal had cleaned his leather’s already, a kind gesture considering that Simon had been too scared to try again after catching his first pair of leathers on fire with his attempt to clean them.

Everything about Watford felt clean and quaint. There were perfect rows of homes, perfectly manicured and maintained gardens and yards, and rows of tidy shops he could explore. There weren’t really any children to be seen, and Simon realized that they were all probably still in school.

That thought made him a little sad. He’d never been to school. For the first half of his life he had actually been feral, a wild beast of a thing whose only thought was keeping itself alive. Then the Mage found him and took him in, teaching him the ways of people.

The magic that ran hotly through his blood belonged to the world of people, but the wings and tail were something else entirely. He’d heard the whispers of “dragon” often enough to wonder if that was his origin, but it had been too long since people had even seen dragons much less conversed with them. No one knew anything of dragon children.

Walking through the bookstore, Simon allowed his fingers to drag over the spines of the books, enjoying the different textures and designs. The shop keeper’s eyes were firmly planted on him, but the man said nothing. None of the adults did.

Maybe it was his tail, visibly swaying behind him. It hadn’t ever been as much of a nuisance as his wings, but it was still odd enough to put most people off. It made it hard to even get a date these days, but he still didn’t like hiding away these parts of him, especially for something as fleeting as a one-night stand.

“When does the school let out?” Simon asked with what he hoped was a casual tone.

The man blinked at him in surprise. “Three o’clock for the young’uns,” he replied with a gruff voice. “And 4:40pm for the graduates. Same as all the other schools.”

“Ah.” The man was looking at him even more curiously and Simon found himself leaving the store rather quickly afterwards.

A café called Pritchard’s caught his attention, and soon Simon was happily tucked in a corner scarfing down a pile of steaming hot scones. He’d never had sour cherry ones before, but was beginning to think that he had a new favorite now.

The bell over the door rang, and Simon peeked over the high-backed booth to see a small group of students come in chattering.

“Uncle Pritchard, is it true?” a beautiful person asked. She was taller than everyone else and had quite a striking figure.

Pitch black hair was neatly wrapped in a bun at the nape of her neck. She had a lovely silk blouse with wildflowers on it tucked into a sensible black pencil skirt and very shiny shoes. Simon always liked shiny shoes.

He also quickly noticed her pointed ears and the fangs peeking out over her lovely lower lip. A vampire? In this little place? The fact that no one was staking her meant that she was probably a pet or something, so he settled himself down and observed as quietly as possible.

“Kids, you shouldn’t be out-” the man tried before he was interrupted.

“They let us out early,” another young lady stated with the authority of a warlord. “Are there really mercenaries in town?”

He rather liked this one’s wild hair. It was tied back with a thinning ribbon and Simon wondered if the poor thing would give out and set loose the mane of curls.

“Now, now-”

“A gang in town!” Someone else squealed excitedly. “I can’t believe it! Nothing this exciting has ever happened before!”

“Our town had a showdown of Mages barely fifteen years ago,” the first girl snapped in annoyance.

“Yeah, but we were like babies,” someone else added.

“Kids,” the café owner tried again, his eyes nervously shifting towards Simon.

“Do you think they’re here to challenge Mr. Grimm?” the second girl asked with a grave tone. “He won’t go down without a fight.”

The first girl looked almost ill at the thought and the man quickly reached out and took her elbow. “Now, now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. No one’s challenging anyone. They’re just passing through.”

Simon stuffed the last scone into his mouth and continued to enjoy watching the others hovering around the cash register. There was something quite refreshing about seeing other people his age who were so clueless to things like how gangs operated. Sure, there were a few roving bands of bonety hunters who would ride into places and raze them without provocation, but those were usually taken out by gangs like the Mage’s Men.

It was bad for business all around to have groups destroying villages and cities, so kingdoms wouldn’t put up with behavior like that. Even as a roaming gang with no kingdom loyalty, the Mage’s Men knew better than to get the ire of an entire kingdom pointed in their direction.

“Uncle, are they-”

“Really now, kids,” the man interrupted exasperatedly. “Do you want to order something or not?”

They all looked taken aback by his response and Simon grinned. The man obviously didn’t want them saying anything to offend him while he was sitting right there. It meant that he was scared too. Simon wasn’t easily offended, and really couldn’t care less about what some small-town gruffs thought about him or his family.

Deciding to take pity on the man and give them all a chance to gossip in peace, Simon stood up, his boots hitting the tile loudly. Everyone at the front of the building jumped in shock and Simon kept his most confident smile in place as he stared at them all.

“The food was good, mate,” he addressed the older gentleman and tossed a few bills on the table.

His eyes moved towards the group of young adults and found that tall girl. Her legs were even more stunning now that he could get a good look. With a brazen wink in her direction he strode right up to the front door and decided to head back to the rest of his group.

He hadn’t got more than a few meters from the café before the bell was ringing and there were marching footsteps behind me.

“Pardon me, you brute,” a voice demanded, “but you owe me an apology!”

Turning back in amusement, Simon glanced up into those indignant silver eyes. “Yeah?”

“Yes,” she snapped back.

“What for? Don’t like a compliment?”

A blush burned on her grey cheeks, but she stood her ground.

“Th-that wasn’t a compliment!” she protested. “That was rude! I am not a piece of meat to be gawked at!”

Blue eyes roamed over her more carefully this time and noted the more distinguished larynx and the deeper pitch of voice. “It’s not gawking, doll. Just admiring.”

The sputtering person seemed completely thrown off, caught somewhere between being even more offended and slightly flattered.

“It’s rude to stare!” the vampire shot back, seemingly not understanding why Simon wasn’t apologizing or backing down.

“People stare at me all the time,” Simon replied honestly. “I don’t waste my energy on caring whether they’re being rude or not.”

Those grey eyes looked completely baffled for a moment before the motion of Simon’s tail caught their attention. Eyebrows shot up and that lovely mouth gaped for a moment, allowing a better view of those darling fangs. It was nice to get to admire such things when they weren’t gnashing at you.

“Oh, you’re a...”

Simon shrugged. “They don’t have a name for my type, doll. Are you someone’s pet?”

“P-pet?! Not at all! My father is the mayor of this town!”

“Ah.” Simon gestured towards his ears. “Don’t really see a lot of you out and integrated into the towns. Makes sense with your dad, though.” The vampire self-consciously touched at their ear and Simon stepped forward carefully. “I don’t mean it it in a bad way, doll.”

“I’m...” The vampire coughed to clear their voice and shook their head. “My name is Baz. Please call me that. And it’s they/them.”

Simon jutted out his hand in greeting. “Simon. Good to meet you.”

“He/him?” Baz asked carefully as they took his hand.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Davy had called him a boy from the moment he captured Simon, and the young man had never given it a second thought.

“A pleasure, Simon,” Baz greeted politely.

Warmth filled his body and Simon enjoyed the feel of that hand in his. Baz had oddly rough hands for someone as posh as they were, but they also had a smokey smell to them that made Simon feel comfortable and almost...safe.

Not one to ever let an opportunity pass by, Simon stepped even closer and put on his most charming grin. “Say, Baz, wanna go out on a date with me tomorrow?” The vampire seemed to choke on their breath, but Simon pushed forward. “I’d like to get to know you.”

He wasn’t certain if this place had certain courting rules, but he was sure that the Mage could get him out of any jam he walked into. The man knew how much he liked holding hands and getting close to other people. He’d tried something serious with a previous Mage’s Man but it hadn’t gone over well and the guy his head smashed in by a Numpty as Davy’s warning to the others to keep their hands off of Simon.

Simon was an Heir and weapon first and foremost, and having people fuck with his emotions was a no-go. So, Simon was limited to random dates and one-night stands any chance he could get.

“Uh, I...” Baz swallowed thickly and nodded. “Okay.”

“Can you come out for lunch?”

Baz nodded and Simon felt a happy warmth fill his body. “Alright. Here at noon, yeah?”

“Okay,” Baz responded shyly. There was a definitely blush burning on their cheeks.

Simon squeezed Baz’s hands and then quickly made his way back to the rest of the gang.

*****

The café owner glanced nervously between the two young people as he set the strawberry milkshake between them, but Simon ignored him and focused completely on Baz. The Mage had struggled to hide the wings away that morning because Simon’s magic was buzzing excitedly, but they were thankfully still tucked away.

While Simon was dressed the same as the previous day, he took the time to admire Baz’s outfit. They looked so polished and put together with their tan slacks, shiny belt, green polo shirt, and a fuzzy sweater neatly hung over their shoulders and loosely tied around their collarbones.

“How long have you been a vampire?” Simon asked dreamily as he leaned forward and rested his chin in one hand. Baz really was quite pretty.

“Since I was five,” they replied softly, a hand automatically coming up to cover the fangs.

“Don’t cover them,” Simon stated softly. “I like seeing them.”

“Oh,” Baz replied with a slight squeak before they leaned forward and drank down a bit of the shake.

There were two straws in the glass and Simon felt his body throbbing with happy energy. Everything about this place was sweet and delightful!

“I think you’re pretty,” Simon added, falling back on his tried and true brashness. He enjoyed seeing the blush light up on those cheeks. “Beautiful really.”

“You’re quite outspoken,” Baz retorted, but the smile remained on his lips. “And a flatterer.”

“I like to speak the truth,” Simon replied honestly. “And if I like you, I don’t see the point in not saying so.”

“Don’t you like to get to know someone first?” Baz asked curiously.

“I’m getting to know you now,” came the laughing response. “What’s your favorite scone?”

And with that, the two of them carried on an easy conversation. The strawberry shake dwindled down between them, and when Simon slid his hand across the table to drag his finger against the back of Baz’s hand, the vampire didn’t pull back. Their fingers hooked together as they talked, and both left lunch with dreamy looks on their faces.

As Simon meandered back to the inn, Davy Mage stood in a hall quite familiar to him and stared at a large portrait. The woman painted in it stared down at him severely, and he couldn’t keep the curl of distaste off his lips.

“What are you doing here, David?” a tired voice asked.

Davy looked over to see Malcolm Grimm, his all-white hair a shock from the memories he had of the man.

“You look old,” he sneered angrily.

Malcolm didn’t rise to the bait. He just stood next to the younger man and stared at the portrait. “Grief ages you, David.” The men stood next to each other quietly, each reminiscing over times gone by. “What are you doing here?”

The truth was dangerous, so Davy danced around it. “Passing through to another job. A Mage’s work is never done.”

Most Mages through history had settled into a town and worked from there, but Malcolm didn’t want to point out the obvious.

“Are you happy?” he asked, a heaviness in his words that had been there for so many years.

“What do you care?” Davy snapped, the irritation bubbling up.

“I’ve always cared.”

“Fuck you!” Davy growled as he wheeled on the taller man and shoved him. “Fuck you!”

The hurt was heavy in the air and Malcolm stared at the white-knuckled fists clenching his lapels. He’d seen that same grip so many times already and it opened up the wounds of his heart.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, knowing that nothing would make it better.

“We’ll be leaving soon,” Davy replied after a few moments, a crack of emotion breaking through the words. “And I won’t ask again.”

“I know.”

Davy stepped back and released the creased material of the suit. He ran a hand through his neatly trimmed hair, a bronze brown that had once hung loose and carelessly over his forehead.

“I’ll be at the same place,” Davy added quietly, almost in defeat. “You’ll know where to find me.”