#but also i don't wanna date anybody
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brainfullofbees · 1 year ago
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#it's kinda like. since figuring out i'm arospec it's like i've just gradually been becoming more aro lol#not really interested in a romantic relationship tbh#i love kisses and cuddles and doing stuff that could be romantic if put in that context but like#it's not romantic. it doesn't feel like that and honestly i don't really want it to anymore#funny how things flipped around like that lol#i guess i'm also still coming to terms with the whole aro thing#i think it's super cool and i'm really proud of this new aspect of my identity i've learned#but i guess it's also a strange feeling to go from being obsessed with romance to being so neutral about it lol#it also makes everything else mix weird#like. i don't want a romantic relationship but if i did it would be with a girl or enby or just. idk somebody who's not a guy#but also guys can be hot!! and i'd fuck a guy! but i wouldn't wanna date one#but also i don't wanna date anybody#but also. girls... <3#does that make sense???#i am a queer little bitch and it's silly and fun and i like having a funky identity lol#so like. i am a lot of things but right now? i feel like aro is the top thing. the other attraction stuff is less important lol#i am aromantic first and a pan lesbian second. but aro takes up like. most of that#idk i'm sleepy and i'm rambling but main point is. I'M FUCKIN ARO BABYY AND THAT'S COOL AS SHIT#(greyromantic and quoiromantic specifically but that's very wordy lol)#and finding this out has been so good for me. i feel so much better about myself now#i have a better understanding of my relationships with people now. i can actually start to parse out the difference between ''i want to do-#-romance things with this person'' and ''i wanna be really close to this person somhow'' ?!#GOD do you know how many times i've thought i've had crushes on people just because i was becoming closer friends with them????#amd now that shit is easier to figure out!!#it's fucking freeing!!#good shit :)#okay i go sleepy lol
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wandering-clown · 2 years ago
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girl help i am either in love with nobody or in love with everybody and my brain doesn't fucking make sense
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notascreepyasyouthink · 1 year ago
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i am very depressed rn gotta vent in the tags
#feeling extremely unfulfilled#i'm currently visiting my grandma with my mom#and being deadnamed and misgendered constantly for a week does numbers on me#but i'll be out of here in a few days and i'm both excited about it and dreading it#i needed a break from everything but now i'm getting really tired of my family#but on the other hand once i get back from my trip i have 4 days to move out of my shit apartment#and god i hate moving so much#also just depressed because my brain is convinced i can't really get what i want. especially in my dating life#the only people that want me are fucking miserable to be around#on one hand you got absolute assholes i don't associate with but on the other you have people with really bad abandonment issues#and they'll get really fuckin pissed at you if you leave because they're placing all responsibility for everything in their life on you#and i know i shouldn't put myself through that and a few friends have told me it isn't healthy for anybody involved#but it's difficult when the other person is friends with most of your other friends#and i don't feel like i can leave because those friends don't want me to#there's no easy solution to anything it feels like#i wanna just dump him. i dumped him once before but somehow ended up back together. and he's sweet and a good person#but i'm so exhausted. and i don't feel like i can leave because he'll just freak out and get really angry at me again#it's super unhealthy i know#idk man i wanna go but he just wants to keep me around forever#i just can't anymore i'm not happy#but i'll be the bad guy if i break things off and i won't have any friends
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sleepyangelkami · 1 month ago
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I'm posting this from my phone so please bare with me guys.
"ew, you write y/n as a baby."
okay, so. I understand that the way I write might not float everyone's boat which is so okay !! But yk what you could do...? Scroll !! There's no need to hate. I really apologize if the way I've written my readers in x reader fics is harmful in any way. However, I'm not going to stop making the character they're with baby them and look after them. The beauty in all of this is that none of it is real. Life can be hard and life can be way toooo much and at the end of the day you might js wanna read ab getting babied. People baby their partners all the time whether you're male female any other gender none of this matters. I write female y/n and if you have a problem with the characters babying her but at the same time you're posting matt sturniolo (I apologize if I spelled that wrong) and saying omg cutie baby 🥺🥺 it's the same thing !!! It's so normal and people are making it weird. If you want to read badass!y/n then write badass!y/n. People get so hung up on writing shy readers and saying it's weird. It's how a lot of people feel and I'm personally really shy irl which is why everything on my account is fake !! Kami isn't even my real name ! You guys need to stop spreading hate towards people and if you don't like their work whether it's cringe or even a little weird then please just scroll
"ew innocence kinks are for p*edos."
Oh my. More often than not innocence kinks are usually submissive people loving the chase and getting dominant people to spell it all out for them. Not only that but sometimes people suffer from childhood trauma (me !!) and they read things that make them get to relive the part where their 'innocence' was 'taken' from them in a gentle way and not by abuse of power. Also, some people just have innocence kinks !! And that's okay as long as you're two consenting adults. When did everyone get so judgemental !! I've seen stepcest, ACTUAL incest and more prominently pain kinks and knives kinks guys innocence kinks really are not the worst problems out there ! I understand that some people take them too far which is not okay and under no circumstances would I ever support someone taking advantage of someone else who doesn't fully comprehend what's going on. But yk what this is?? Mere fantasies. They don't exist, it's just what people like to read so please leave us alone 🩷
And finally, "why is y/n such a pushover omg?"
Wanna start off by saying I don't condone cheating ever !! And I would never write a fic where the reader gets back with the character after they cheat. With that being said, the only fics I have ever seen of that (very VERY few) they have put trigger warnings at the beginning to let you know what you're reading. And for the people who say that the reader shouldn't go back because their partner yelled at them... Guys PLEASE !! I understand that yelling isn't something that should be excused, you should never put your partner in a position where they are scared or feel uncomfortable. However, I also know for a fact that everyone reading this has at one point in their lives yelled at someone. Being loved isn't about loving someone with happy rainbows there's gonna be bad days which I find realistic enough. Partners argue, sometimes relationships even take breaks and people get petty and people yell but you know why?? Cause we're human !!! It's in our nature if we're angry or annoyed or whatever it may be. Of course this behavior shouldn't be excused if it's constantly on show. Although denying the fact that you'd ever get back with someone after they yelled at you during an argument is a little bit childish. I don't mean hate to anybody whatsoever I'm just saying that you're dating a human (hopefully) not an alien (you'd be surprised on Tumblr I actually can't rule that one out) they have emotions and while sometimes they can be misplaced... It doesn't mean they're a bad person for it.
This isn't meant to harm or send hate to anyone !! I've just seen so much hatred spread across Tumblr and it's really upsetting. People should learn to support one another and if you don't like the content, scroll ! Once again this is hate to nobody enjoy ur day/morning/evening/night lovelies !!! 🩷🩷
(sorry for the ramble angels)
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madl-y · 3 months ago
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✧. ┊— asking all the time (about what I should do)
3 times you and Togame ask another person for advice on what to do with your feelings (oblivious to the fact that said feelings are reciprocated), and the 1 time you asked each other instead.
sypnosis - You and Togame struggled on what to do with the realization that the both of you have feelings for each other. In result, some members of Furin and Shishitoren end up having to give advice. (Even though most of them suck at it.)
> this is f! reader, sorry for the gn readers out there.. also, beware of spelling and grammar mistakes :"D I am weak in vocab and just started writing again so I tend to repeat the same words and phrases and expressions so.. yeah :"c
> so uhh,, guess who got into windbreaker??!! (if you couldn't tell by the amount of reblogs of togame...)
> fluffy fluff! and some crack? hopefully not too ooc! :"D pls enjoy hihi :DD (sparkle banners were made by me.. they kinda suck)
> not proofread !!
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TOGAME to SAKURA
"Haaah..?! W-Why would you think I'd–!"
If Togame wasn't feeling a dillema at the moment, he'd be teasing Sakura with the way he reacted so flustered by asking a simple advice on what he should do.
"Y-You crazy or something?! Do I look like I'm the type to..!" Sakura grumbled in irritation and helplessness as he flushed in embarrassment immensely at the way Togame mentioned how he wanted to date you.
For some reason, Togame decided Sakura was one of the people he should ask advice on how to ask you out.
"Hmm..? Have you never experienced having a crush?" Togame curiously stared at Sakura, tilting his head. Speaking and moving with his usual slowed tempo.
If Togame thought Sakura couldn't be more red in the face—
"H-HUH?! AND IF I HAVEN'T?!" Sakura banged his hands on the metal rail on the rooftop. Yelping and cursing in pain while the heat spread until his neck.
—clearly, Togame was wrong.
He chuckled at Sakura, "Aww, how pure." His grin turning to a slight smirk and dodged the incoming plastic wrapper aimed to his head.
"You wanna take this outside, bastard?!" The youngest growled in annoyance while pointing down to the open area of Shishitoren's base. While Sakura's threat was usually lighthearted, (even though he is ready to brawl), it wouldn't fool anybody with how embarrassed he is.
Togame brought a hand up to his neck as he thought of his situation with you. "Well, I've never felt this way before." He started, glancing away while staring at the sun that was slowly setting. An orange hue covered the sky which made the scenery much more beautiful.
You always love the view of the sky from the rooftops of Shishitoren.
Togame loves it too. But he prefers it if he's with you.
"Even the sky from here reminds me of her too. It feels so unfamiliar, but..." The marble of the ramune bottle clinks softly against the glass. Sakura felt another heat rise to his cheeks but kept quiet.
Togame smiled in thought, "I don't think I dislike it." He continued. Inhaling deeply before a frown slowly formed. Showing his usual nonchalant look that everyone is so familiar with but Sakura could see the emotions hidden in his eyes.
Togame's shoulder slumped in defeat, "I'm afraid I might say the wrong things again." His mind briefly flash to when Choji's eyes loose that sparkle.
He didn't want a repeat of that from Choji. They're getting better, Choji and him.
But he doesn't think he'll handle losing you unintentionally.
He heard Sakura click his tongue. "...I think you're just overthinking it."
Togame blinked slowly, his mouth parted slightly in surprise. Sakura, despite the flaming heat on his cheeks, shoved his hands in his pocket and continued. "If you really... l-like.. her.." Sakura cleared his throat, "t-then I don't you should have much of a problem in.. you know."
Togame watched in amusement as Sakura's hands flailed helplessly.
"You know..! Saying what you really wanna say or somethin'. You'd give your all in thinking about it, and the fact that you're worried.. I mean.." Sakura found it really hard to compose the proper words that he wanted to convey in his mind. He's doesn't have that flowery language like Suo does, or the straight forward but kind advice like Nirei.
He groaned in annoyance as he shaked his head and pointed at Togame. "You know what I mean!"
Sakura could feel steam blowing out of his ear from sheer want to crawl in a tunnel and never want to have this kind of conversation again.
"Plus, from what I know, she's a pretty understanding person. So.." Sakura sighed and gave Togame a shaky thumbs up while looking away.
"...Y-You got this.." Togame could see the redness in Sakura's ears. He smiled in appreciation.
"You really suck at giving advice, you know."
"Y-YOU'RE THE ONE WHO CALLED ME YOU BASTARD—!"
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YOU to CHOJI
Out of all people you didn't expect to find out who you like—
"So it is Kame-chan! You like Kame-chan!! You're so obvious!" Choji grinned delightfully as he finally managed to make you indirectly confess who you have feelings for.
"You like Kame-chan! You like Kame-chan!" He bounced around you with his arms up in the air while giggling.
—you really, really, did not expect for Choji to actually be the first one to bring it up.
"Choji.." You sighed in exasperation.
Thankfully, Choji stopped going around in circles (literally) before sending you a sheepish smile. "I'm glad to know you're one of the people who really cares about him."
You thought the sun was bright, but damn Choji's smile is brighter that you couldn't help but smile back embarrassedly.
"I mean.. I do.." You scratched the back of your neck.
"Then you're gonna confess?!"
You dropped your water bottle in surprise. Choji watching as you jump in pain as the bottle hit your toes.
"I-! I don't know?!" You grimaced at the confusion in Choji's face. "Why not?" He tilt his head. A small pout forming on his lips.
"Because!" You flailed.
"Because?" Choji parroted.
"BECAUSE!" You stomp your foot in stubborness. Choji couldn't help but flinch at the sudden outburst, yet that grin of his stayed.
Silence ensued the two of you. You, looking off to the side as you crossed your arms, brows pinched together while your heart kept pounding loudly at the idea of merely confessing to Togame.
Choji, who still has that grin, yet displays a confused expression, a drop of sweat forming on back of his head.
He thinks that when it comes to you confessing, its no doubt that it's hopeless.
For now.
Choji sighed, deciding to take pity in you, and pat your back in condolences. He smiled reassuringly after meeting your eyes.
"I don't think you should be worrying too much." He says with full confidence, and usually that alone gets you to either calm down or feel better.
Instead, you felt your chest getting heavier, feeling dejected as your body seemed to subtly slumped over.
Of course, Choji still has that confusing smile.
"Easy for you to say.." You whined softly.
You heard a snicker beside you, whipping your head to his direction offendedly.
"Sorry, sorry!" The shorter one couldn't help but laugh, "It's just that, it is easy for me to say. I know Kame-chan well!"
You blinked at the sudden sparkles in his eyes as he grabbed you shoulders, "And I know you too! You're a wonderful person." He said sincerely.
Choji gave you one last pat in the shoulder and turned to go ahead where the members of Shishitoren were calling for him. He looked over his shoulder, giving you that smile that you always appreciated.
"Besides, knowing Kame-chan, everything will be alright!"
You watched dazedly as he hopped off joyfully to join his members.
"...That doesn't help!" You thought.
You prayed to whatever god out there, that Choji keeps his mouth shut and doesn't screw everything up.
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YOU to KOTOHA
Again, you wondered how in the hell is it that you ended up being found out just from your emotions alone.
"SO IT IS LIKE THAT! Ha! You're such an open book, you know?"
The spoon in your hand that's filled with omurice starts to shake, some if the rice and eggs slightly splatter on the counter.
"HEY! I just cleaned that." Kotoha complained while you still had to process how Kotoha just knew from your expression alone.
"How did you even know?!" I whined while slamming the spoon on the plate.
Kotoha rolled her eyes, "Duh, who else, aside from Sakura, always wears their heart on their sleeves? Plus, you weren't subtle at all with all the 'what ifs' and, I quote 'just a hypothetical situation that relates to my friend' bullshit." She said, creating quotation marks in the air.
You've never felt this called out in your life.
You had to clench your chest with your hand as you felt like arrows just pierced right through them. Kotoha smirking at you as she placed a cup of water on the counter.
"Well, back on the matter at hand. You're asking if you should confess, right?" She sighed, bringing her hands up in her hair while removing her hairtie and leaned on the counter.
You felt her calculating gaze (she does that more often than you realize) while you felt so exposed and flustered.
"I mean, I really did not expect that someone, especially an outsider, managed to befriend Shishitoren's leader and second in command." You watch as Kotoha smiled before patting your head. "But again, it is you. I guess I was worried for nothing when you said who had a part time job in Shishitoren's turf."
"For the most part, I didn't expect it either." You sighed while midlessly picking around the plate. Ignoring the scolding from Kotoha as she noticed the way you put aside the carrots.
"But here's the real question, do you want to confess?"
You paused, the spoon in your hand went still as submerged in the omurice further. The question really got you thinking.
...It's only recently that you realized you like Togame.
You recalled breifly the way, right at the time you recently got a part-time job in Shishitoren's turf. Right when you were serving as a waiter, one of the customers acted so rudely in fron of you, yet you had to be professional.
It was then when Togame stepped in and settle things down. Well.. he did it rather threateningly.
Once you spotted him again on your way to your job, you thanked him by providing a huge discount, yet he declined it.
You were mesmerized with his smile as he assured you and was quick to decline. He was so much different than when he practically slammed the asshole on the table.
Just then, you got acquainted with Choji who soon frequented the restaurant you served in. He was surprised, yet delighted to know that Togame has "made a new friend!".
The three of you started hanging out.
The grip of your spoon tightened as you tried to calm yourself down. Feeling another wave of heat spread across your cheeks while also pondering on the question Kotoha asked.
Do you really...
You met Kotoha's eyes as she patiently waited for your answer.
You tried to imagine it, you confessing.
Togame and you talking about random things, the wind and the bright hues of the sunset you two were fascinated to look at settled over you two like a comfortable blanket at the rooftop of Shishitoren.
Togame handing over a bottle of ramune, opening it for you like always does.
And finally, you confess.
Your bring up how you appreciated him, and its not just a simple 'I appreciate you', no.
The way you tell him how you find joy whenever he remembers the little things that you brought up in past conversations. How you find yourself being calm whenever you look into his eyes, despite the chaos ringing in the battlefield he and Choji are in, because some guys can't handle the word no.
He is like a blanket, despite his big build and packed muscle. Like a blanket, not because its soft and fluffy, but he fills you with warmth with how much he cares and how gentle he is.
And his smile.
You tell him, you appreciate his smile. It looks good on him, of course, but also because its the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of him. Of Togame Jo, the second in command of Shishitoren.
Togame Jo, the first person you've fallen for.
Despite all that, the reality of rejection weighed on you like a boulder that's hanging over your head.
You finally speak, "...Maybe not, afterall."
Kotoha pursed her lips, just by seeing the sad look on your face, she knows already what you're thinking.
She knows that if she pushes the subject further, you'll be more inclined to either stick with what you said or change the subject.
The door to the entrance rang, making you snap back to reality as customers enter.
"Finish your omurice." Kotoha reminded, before going off to handle the new customers.
She subtly glances at your direction and sighs, "Really, why is she so dense?"
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TOGAME to SAKO
Togame couldn't help the slight raise on the corner of his mouth as Sako sputtered in his drink.
"W-What? That's what you want to ask me about..?!"
This is really reminding him of his last conversation with Sakura. Are all the people he knows are just bad with romance advice?
"What? What did you expect me to talk to you about?" Togame leaned back on the wall as he glanced at the side where other Shishitoren members were talking and having fun with each other out in the sun.
He and Sako were under roofed building, where he called Sako over to talk about something important.
"When you said 'something important', I thought it meant something related to Shishitoren or something.." Sako sighed while fanning himself as the heat of the sun became hotter than usual.
("You're wearing a turtleneck in this heat?" Togame pointed out.
"It's thin." Sako glared the ground.)
"But I am part of Shishitoren." Togame grinned.
"You know what I mean..!" Sako grumbled in reply.
Sako seethed in irritation (although lighthearted) while Togame just grinned and chuckled.
"Why are you even asking me this? Isn't Tomiyama-san better to ask about..." Sako waved his hand uncertainly, "..you know, you and her?"
"Ah well, I believe you're one of the closest members that she's interacted with. And Choji..." Togame drifted off, watching Tomiyama saying something enthusiastically to the other members.
Very enthusiastic, seeing as how he's jumping everywhere.
"I don't think Choji's really good to ask these kinds of stuff. Plus, I think you're a cool guy."
"That doesn't make any sense!" Sako bit his tongue to refrain from retorting, his forehead and eyebrows are twitching.
He huffed and looked away, crossing his arms. "We just talk sometimes, that's all." Sako recalled the times you had talked to him energetically while treating the minor wounds after a scuffle.
Afterwards, you realized how much he liked visiting cafes, and that the both of you had similar tastes. Every chance you get, you recommended him some good cafes that you know about and he'd give his feedback later on.
Later on, the group jokes about how Sako is being pampered with sweets.
(The teasing continues despite the attempted murders from Sako.)
"Why are you concerned though? Doesn't look to me that if you confess it's going downhill." Sako raised a brow in curiousity.
And honestly speaking, he actually thought at least one of you had confessed already.
But color him surprise that their second in command is asking for advice related to crushes.
"There's a possibility though, especially when she doesn't feel the same."
...He's got to be kidding.
Sako scrunched his face trying to see if Togame is joking or not.
Said man looks down slightly dejected.
...Oh boy.
If someone were to tell Sako that you're dense as a rock, he wouldn't be surprised. (The amount of times some Shishitoren members tried to flirt with you ended up being a laughing stock with the way you misinterpreted it.)
"Especially.. you know, if I might say the wrong things. Wouldn't wanna scare her or somethin'." Togame continued finally looking at Sako–
He blinked at the way the younger member stared at him like he grew multiple heads.
Sako didn't actually think Togame was dense as well, seeing how he's able to easily tease a lot of people.
"Hm? Sako?" Togame waved a hand in front of Sako.
The younger blinked and grit his teeth, "YOU'RE HOPELESS!"
Togame stared in surprise as he watched Sako stomp away with his arms crossed. Its rare that Sako raises his voice like that.
He sighed, slowly sliding down the wall as he sat on the ground. "At least Sakura gave some form of encouragement.."
Togame sat there for a while.
Maybe Sako's not wrong afterall.
He thought of the way your hands fits his whenever he guides you around.
Or when you cup his cheek so endearingly that if he tried so hard to not blush at the contact, yet the act of you worrying about him gets him flustered anyways. (He's just good at composing himself.)
Or that time he wanted you all by himself just because other members in Shishitoren were delighted by your presence as you started hanging around them more often.
He thinks about you. Your smile, your patience, the way you're so easy to tease which gets him the most satisfying and adorable expressions from you.
And of course, he thinks about the idea of you being his.
...Yeah, Sako's definitely right in calling him hopeless.
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TOGAME to UMEMIYA
"KAME-CHAN! UME-CHAN IS HEEERE!" Choji's loud voice rang throughout the building that even people inside the abandoned theater could hear.
Togame sat up in intrigue. What's the top of Furin doing here again?
He scratched his head while yawning. Fortunately, he got a good amount of rest from the short nap he took.
Togame wanted to isolate himself for a while just to think about what he's gonna do with his feelings for you. Let alone the idea of wanting to be yours.
He realized he dozed off, it was still a good nap though.
Standing up while patting his pants from the dust, he walked and looked over the metal rail trying to see Choji and Umemiya.
He blinked when they're not there—
"KAME-CHAN!"
—He nearly stumbled right into the metal bars as ghe door to the rooftop slammed open. Revealing an excited Choji holding take out bentos on each hand, with Umemiya also holding takeout inside plastic bags.
The two were practically sparkling.
"Choji, don't be too loud." Togame lightly scolded. Rubbing his temples while trying to ease the incoming headache that he felt starting from his neck.
He should really be much more aware of his sleeping positions.
"Now, now," Umemiya chuckled, walking right towards Togame and brought his arm around Togame's shoulders. Choji followed right after and tugged on the left arm of Togame's. "Let's get this party started!" Umemiya cheered excitingly, as he and Choji pulled the 'just-awoke-from-a-nap-Togame' towards the floor.
Man, maybe he should've continued sleeping.
The three continued to set up their spontaneous low-budget picnic area. Dragging used cardboards and setting up the foods before they sat down. Choji and Umemiya talking and having fun while Togame stood quiet yet smiling at the atmosphere.
Finally, they were ready to eat.
"Thank you for the meal!" Umemiya yelled, the three of them clapped their hands together while giving thanks.
"Ah, it's been a while since we've had this!" Umemiya hummed while munching on the fried tonkatsu.
"You bet! At least the weather isn't too hot this time around." The leader of Shishitoren munched on the bread that Umemiya brought, eyes sparkling at the taste.
"Why do you guys have the best breads?!"
"Well, we just do!" Choji and Umemiya grinned while stuffing their mouths full. Talking about whatever that came to their minds. Togame, who's more on the introverted side, continued to listen. Talking whenever Choji or Umemiya ask for his opinion.
"See! I told you lemon juice is better drinking in the heat!" Argued Choji, glaring half-heartedly at Umemiya who is quick to counter. Saying something like "apple juice is much better and is the classic!"
Honestly, Togame wasnt really listening.
Instead, he was focused on his phone. Staring at the cute picture of you petting a stray cat that you found.
You weren't in the picture, but still.
The cat is cute too.
"This cat kinda looks like you. Very fluffy fur with green eyes." seen.
Togame chuckled, deciding whether to reply or not (he is lazy like that) until another message was sent.
"And looks very sleepy and lazy." seen. reacted with a thumbs down
He refrained from smiling, not wanting to get caught and to distract the other two from their "fun" debate. Togame wouldn't know what to do if Choji, much less Umemiya, ask why did he look so giddy all of a sudden.
He did that mistake more times than he can count with Choji. Smiling whenever you're there. Even if it was something that's stupid, he finds it adorably stupid. Then out of nowhere, Choji would point out that Togame's smiling more than usual, and Togame didn't notice he was doing it afar like a love-struck idiot.
It was a good thing Choji's easy to convince.
Togame huffs while putting the phone in his pocket. He usually doesn't reply to messages (he never does) but he'll be sure to give you a light scolding for your message the next time you visit Shishitoren.
It was then that Togame was once again reminded of his feelings for you. He's still undecided on what he should do.
One would think that they should confess just to get over it. If the person you like returns the same feelings, then good for them. If not, then they'll either move on and try to remain friends.
Togame knows you're an understanding person. A trait that he likes about you, which made him spill some of his worries from time to time. When you're the one who's having troubles, he's there to listen as well.
Still, deep down he knows he'll get hurt at the chance of you rejecting him.
He also doesn't know what to do if there's someone else that manages to capture your heart. You, someone he wants to be with every moment. He wants to be the only one that can receive your never ending kindness and love.
However, is there someone that you like?
Togame felt his appetite loosing.
"AH! I forgot to give the rest of the bottled drinks to the other members!" Togame slightly flinched at the sudden outburst from Choji. Who hurriedly grabbed the cooler set aside and picked up it above his head. Running towards the door while yelling out a 'I'll be right back! Don't finish the food...!"
Umemiya and Togame's eyes meet. The Bofurin leader giving a shrugged smile to Togame.
"So Togame... I've been meaning to ask this but.."
Togame's shoulders slightly tense. Did Umemiya notice something? He wouldn't be surprised.
A container with half-eaten omurice suddenly filled Togame's vision.
"KOTOHA-CHAN'S OMURICE IS AMAZING, ISN'T IT?"
...Oh.
"Oh, uh- yeah.." Relieved yet bewildered, Togame nodded along to whatever Umemiya is spewing out right now. Shoulders relaxing as for a moment he thought he was found out.
Umemiya shouldn't know, obviously. Togame thinks he's getting more restless as he if reminded of his feelings time and time again.
He takes a sip from his ramune bottle.
"Oh by the way, I saw you smiling at your phone earlier."
Togame choked. The drink went down the wrong pipe.
"Oh? Perhaps its from that girl you like?"
The exit looks really appealing right now. Maybe he should help Choji, the guy is taking way too long to serve drinks to the other members.
He sighed in defeat, "Am I really that obvious?"
Umemiya laughed, scooting closer to Togame as he generously placed some side dishes onto his plate.
"Well, at first it didn't seem like anything. You two were interacting as usual, being pretty close and all." Umemiya swallowed the omurice before continuing, "But then, Sakura started to become more flustered and embarrassed than usual."
The Shishitoren member groaned, already having an idea where this is going.
"Don't blame Sakura though, he did kept it a secret. Although his classmates are too nosy, and somehow it spread to the rest of Furin. Well, not everyone, but most."
Great, Togame is estatic to know he's being gossiped as someone with pining problems.
...It's true, but still-
"It was easy to piece everything together." Togame felt a comforting pat on the back, which didn't really felt reassuring.
For god's sake, instead of being known as the second-in-command of the ruling gang Shishitoren, he'll be known as a love-struck idiot!
"Before you ask," Togame grumbled, "I'm not sure if I should confess or not."
"Ehh? I think you should."
The raven jerked his head up in surprise, not expecting a straight-forward answer. From all the advice he's gotten, (if he could call it advice from someone who is not used to open affection, or being called hopeless by a younger member) none of them really convinced on what Togame should do.
"Wait- why?"
"'Why?'" Umemiya asked, as if he himself is confused at Togame's question.
"I mean, you don't seem that opposed to the idea." That's true... after all, the idea of being yours always resonated in his mind.
The idea of you two together, it doesn't seem bad at all.
But-
"And what if she rejects me?"
"Nah, she won't." The taller said certainly. A smile gracing his features, Togame wonders if Umemiya's an expert in relationships.
Umemiya did help Choji and Shishitoren.
"How are you sure?" His brow furrows, a heavy feeling in his gut just imagining the different ways a confession from him to you could go wrong.
One, the most obvious, and probably the most gut-wrenching, is that you'll reject him. Saying that you either have a different type of your ideal-boyfriend, and that he doesn't fit that category, or that you have someone else in mind. Then afterwards, your friendship will be so awkward, which makes you distance yourself and Togame will regret everything for the rest of his life.
Two, you reject him, but want to remain friends. However, there's still that slim chance that the both of you won't be as close as you guys are right now as friends.
And three-
"Woah, woah, woah, hold that overthinking right there, buddy!" A hand on his shoulder brought Togame back to reality. He forgot for a moment the person beside him is Umemiya.
Oh, did he say that out loud?
"Kind of.. you were quite scary for a moment." A shiver went down Umemiya's spine, beads of sweat forming on his head. "You were there mumbling with an empty expression, and your eyes man!" Umemiya dramatically clutched his heart, trying to lighten Togame's mood even just a little bit.
Togame cleared his throat, a bit embarrassed. "Sorry."
"Never knew you were one for overthinking." Concern was written all over Umemiya's face. He let out a sigh while trying to figure out what he could offer words of comfort.
Umemiya knew you, although the two of you never interacted closely. He's just glad that Kotoha has a new friend. Much to his surprise, you were also closely affiliated to Shishitoren. Imagine that.
Yet, when Shishitoren is sometimes brought up in a discussion, Umemiya could clearly see the sparkles and affection you have for a certain member.
The stories you share whenever Togame teases you.
Or that one time you shared how Togame tried so hard on that vending machine where a very cute miniature plushie (which you bring everywhere) while you and Choji try to pull him away despite his stubbornness. Which caused him to spend a lot of yen.
Or that one specific moment Umemiya saw you messaging Togame (he didn't mean to peek, he was just too tall that he could lean over) with a giddy smile on your face.
Togame this, Togame that.
Umemiya sighed, giving a comforting smile to Togame. "She won't." Just from that, Togame somehow felt a tiny bit of confidence.
"I won't say anything else, but I've seen her around. From what I could tell, and from what Kotoha-chan tells me, she's a wonderful person."
A small smile appeared, Togame's glad you have a lot of people who care for you. "Plus, I don't think you have anything to worry about."
Umemiya gave one last pat to Togame's shoulder. However, he couldn't help but think about what Umemiya said.
"What do you mean by you won't say anything else-"
"KAME-CHAN! UME-CHAN! WE HAVE EXTRA FOOD!"
Choji appeared from the door, holding a plastic container which seemed to contain barbeque sticks.
"OOOHH! THAT LOOKS DELICIOUS!"
"IT IS! ARIMA KNOWS ALL THE BEST RESTAURANTS NEARBY!"
Dumbfounded by the sudden entrance of Choji, he couldn't bring himself to ask Umemiya again.
He watched as Choji and Umemiya scarf down every food possible.
Togame looked at his food in thought.
At least he got a better answer.
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YOU to SUO
"I see! So it's like that!" Suo smiled as he let out a small laugh.
"I'm having a serious case of deja vu right now.." You said dryly while wondering, again, how'd you end up in this situation.
Seriously, might as well inform the whole Furin boys at this point!
"Now, now, don't be so down hearted." You pouted as Suo poured tea in your cup. The sweet aroma of honey wafted through the air, nodding gratefully at Suo.
As much as you hated to be reminded of your feelings, and that horrid conversation you had with Kotoha, you still have to decide if you want to suffer and keep it a secret, or suffer with a 50/50 percent chance of your confession going 'yay!' or 'nay..'
So, what better option than to ask the most elegant person in all of Furin?
"Did you know, bees like to read?"
"Excuse me, what."
Yup, elegance is Suo's forte.
You watched as Suo gently sat down opposite of you, bringing his own cup to his lips. "Their favorite novel is the Great Gatsby." He let out a proud smile with his eye closed, before taking a sip.
The Great Gatsby. Gats-'bee.'
...Elegant my ass.
You slapped your palm onto your forehead. "...So you're not doing this seriously. Thanks, got the memo." The chair you sat on scratched against the floor, the sound echoing throughout the cafe. Some bystanders noticed the noise, which made Suo give a polite smile.
He quickly tugged you back in the chair. You sat down with an unamused expression, contrasting Suo's lighthearted one.
"I'm joking!"
"Well, I'm not."
"I know. From the amount of times you joined in the conversation whenever Shishitoren is brought up." Suo placed a finger on his chin, letting out a hum before continuing, "Oh! And that one time where you had to brag about that cute plushie you got from a vending machine, also brought by Togame."
"Okay, stop- I get it!" You waved your hands frantically, as if that mere gesture would make Suo shut up.
"And of course—" Suo brought his phone up as you watch him scroll for a bit before pressing the screen to your face.
"—we couldn't forget that moment where you sat there blushing and all giddy."
It was a selfie of Kotoha, her finger pointing towards the counter-
Wait a minute.
It was you, in the background, leaning on the counter with Kotoha's omurice. Something normal.
Yet clearly you can see yourself smiling widely with your hand propped on your chin while staring at your phone.
"Kotoha said you got a text message from Togame."
You banged your head on the table.
"Was I really that obvious?" You asked yourself. Purely rhetorical.
"Mhm!" Suo nodded anyway. Very enthusiastically.
"I would like to crawl into a deep hole now, thanks."
"You can do that once you've decided to confess to Togame."
You groaned, the mere idea already making you suffer. Maybe you should've just stopped asking advice right at Kotoha.
As much as you adore Suo as your friend, you keep on forgetting he's also a little piece of–
"Now, now, let's try this again." You raised your head deciding to finally listen to Suo. Seems like he's actually being serious this time.
"So you said you're not sure if you're going to confess." You nod.
"Uh-huh."
"What's making you worried?" Suo tilted his head in wonder. Because really, he thinks you shouldn't be worried.
With the way you talk about Togame, Suo can already guess from that the guy also reciprocates what you feel.
"Well, you see." You brought your hands together while looking seriously, which reminded of Suo of how detectives or villains would act in a tv show.
"There are three things."
...What?
"Three..?" He asked confusedly.
"One, he rejects me. That's it, and then its the end of our good going friendship." Suo continued to smile, despite wanting to protest and tell you directly that yes, you should confess.
However, what kind of gentleman is he if decided not to listen to a fellow friend's worries?
"It starts like this," You start off, leaning slightly forwards to Suo with a glare that could rival Sakura's. "I might not be his friend anymore."
Suo opened his mouth to retort. He thought that it might be a tad... rude to ignore someone just because they harbor feelings for you-
You raise your palm to stop him, "I know what you're going to say. However..."
There was a moment of anticipation. Suo would usually be lighthearted from time to time in talks like this...
You banged your fist lightly on the table, "What am I gonna do if I lose a friend like Togame?!" You whined.
Oh.
Suo sighed in relief, thinking you were going to ignore Togame.
You let out a (quite dramatic) cry as you scratch your hair in frustration. "Our friendship could end the moment I open my mouth and say 'Oh by the way, I like you, let's go out.' and you know what would hit me in the gut?!"
Your hands gripped the sides of table so tightly. Suo just watched with concern and intrigue.
"It's the chance he likes someone else!" You cried in defeat and slumped in your chair.
"I think you should-"
"No, it doesn't end there!"
Suo sighed.
"Secondly, what if our friendship deteriorates from there?!" These are the thoughts that kept you up right after talking to Kotoha.
At first it started with the reassurance that Togame is a chill person. Sure he can be violent here and there (not against you, never against you. you would be lying if you sometimes forgot that he is the same guy who's a member of a gang) but in the end, its Togame.
But then as the night went on and the more you developed feelings for him, you felt yourself overthinking way too much.
"Imagine, we casually hang out. With Choji too, wouldn't be akward right?" If you were in animated right now, Suo could see the steam blowing from your ears. "But then, Togame would be reminded of my confession, and then everything would be akward!"
"From there on, he would slowly distance himself. Probably even Choji if I'm that unlucky, and then I would forever suffer in my bed at night thinking how much I regret everything!"
"How about we toss a coin?" Suo intervened the moment you were about to move on to point number three.
You stopped midway into your rant. Suo just maintained a smile and placed a simple 100 yen on the table.
"...What?"
"Let's toss a coin!" Suo repeated.
Your eyes went back and forth at Suo and the coin. You wondered if this is Suo's attempt to make a joke once more.
"I'm not joking." Suo laughed, placing the coin on top of his thumb. You stared confusedly, still not knowing what to say.
"W-Why..?"
"I mean, it's just a simple solution. You have these thoughts with you for a while, both negative and positive." Suo raised a finger, "While you aren't wrong, most of your concerns do happen to some people."
You deflated at that
"But I'm pretty sure you also have that side of you that wants to be in a relationship that brought the idea of you even confessing." You nodded.
Just thinking about Togame overall has brought you joy. He's mostly quiet, yet never fails to bring entertainment whenever the two of you bicker against one another. He's also kind, the plushie he gave you is probably your favorite. Sometimes can be provoking to others he's not familiar with, but only when there are guys who are disturbing you.
You also can't deny the fact that he's good-looking.
"If we want to get this over with, then let's just toss a coin."
Suo paused at the bewildered look on your face. "What's wrong?"
"Oh nothing." You chuckle hesitantly, "I was just expecting a more.. straight to the point answer."
"You are going to get an answer regardless." He argued, stabilizing the coin on his thumb.
Well, he's not wrong.
"Heads is 'you will confess', and tails is 'you won't confess'."
"Okay."
"Then.. here I go!" Suo flickered his thumb upwards.
Your eyes follow the quick movement of the coin in the air before it landed on Suo's palm. He then placed the coin on the back of his other hand to flip it.
Your breath hitched as you watched intently on the result.
Suo removed his palm, "Tails it is!"
"Oh.." So you won't be confessing after all. You did want a straight to the point answer.
Suo noticed your mood slightly dampened. "What's wrong?"
You shrugged. "Nothing, didn't expect this to be somewhat anti-climatic." Honestly, you weren't sure as well. You asked Suo for help, and he provided it.
Maybe you felt a bit unsatisfied with the results.
"'Anti-climatic' you say?" Suo gave a knowing smile, before placing down the coin. "Or perhaps, you don't like the result?"
You blinked, were you really that obvious?
"You see, there's a trick here."
"There is?"
"Yes." You didn't expect that. So there was an actual reason that Suo wanted to flip coins instead?
"You see, when people are indecisive they flip a coin right?" You watch in curiosity as Suo started to hold the coin in his fingers. "But here's the thing, when you're either unsatisfied with the result, or you internally wish for a specific decision, that's when you know what you truly want."
He slides the coin in front of you before turning it around revealing the 'heads'.
That.. That does make sense.
By then, you started to feel satisfied. A smile unknowingly appearing.
A light clap brought back your attention. Seeing Suo's smile slightly reassured you despite the negative thoughts that were threatening to take over once more. "So, I'm guessing a confession is happening?" He teased.
You huffed, "Yeah.." You looked down at your hands in thought. The idea of confessing, albeit scares you, at least you can say you tried.
"I just hope you nothing goes wrong."
"Oh don't worry." Suo brought his cup up, "I'm sure it'll go well."
You smiled, bringing your own cup against his as the two of you slightly cheered before savoring the tea.
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FINAL :
YOU and TOGAME
It's been a while since the three of you hang out again.
"Come on, you can do it! You can beat Kame-chan!" Choji cheered in the background while you and Togame were playing against one another in a sniper arcade game.
"Ehh? I think her machine's gun is smoother." Complained Togame, who quickly looked at your score being close to his.
"I think you're scared to be beaten." You grinned as you continued to shoot the targets that appeared on the screen.
"You? Beating me? Psh, you can't even close the ten point gap."
"I'm about to!"
"The game is ending in one minute, chibi." You groaned at the nickname before recklessly pointing your gun at any target.
"Go go! You're almost there!" Oh to have a supporter like Choji.
Still, the game ended as Togame grins triumphantly while you sulked. Choji patting your shoulders in comfort while he also says 'good job!' to Togame.
"I want a rematch!"
"We're out of money."
You banged your head against the machine, causing for both Choji and Togame to wince.
"Come on, chibi." Togame lightky tugged on your arm. The unexpected closeness making you blush lightly.
Meanwhile, Togame feels like he can't get enough of how cute you are.
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The three of you sat on a bench in front of a convenience store while eating ice-cream that you paid because, well, you simply lost the bet.
At least it wasn't too expensive.
You sat in the middle of the two Shishitoren members. Too busy eating their ice cream to strike up a conversation.
You quietly counted the change in your hand, before letting out a surprised sound.
"What's wrong?" Togame questioned.
"They gave me an excess change." You recounted to make sure before excusing yourself to go back to the counter.
You and the cashier worker exchanged greetings. You look back to simply glance at Togame and Choji, but to your surprise, Choji can't be found.
Where did he-
Ping!
You jumped at the sudden notification in your phone. At the same time, Togame also brought his phone up from afar.
With new profound curiosity, the notification came from a group chat that Choji has created with just the three of you. Your brows furrow in concern, a slight uncertain smile as you felt a sense of dread incoming.
"Hiiii!! So I'll be going ahead~ Something came up so, enjoy having a fun date!" seen by togame and you
A wave of heat spread across your cheeks, staring in shock at the message. Similarly, from afar, Togame felt his ears burning.
You would have appreciated the heads up from Choji- just, without the date part.
Especially the date part.
Gulping nervously, you walk back to wear Togame is seated, neither of you chose to look at each other for obvious reasons.
The two of you continued to sit in silence for a few minutes. The simple idea of 'having a date' weighed heavily on each person's minds.
Togame's thoughts were filled, followed by the soft crunch from the chocolated coated ice cream. "Did Choji finally figure out? He knew that I harbor feelings for her? But why say it in the group chat..?" His brows furrows in thought.
"Ain't no way did Choji just outed me. Why did he say in the group chat? Was it a joke? But he's bever the type to joke that way..." Nervously swallowing, you can't help but glance sideways at Togame beside you.
Similarly, he's been looking at you from his peripheral vision. More thoughts swirling in his head.
Before the both of you could initiate any kind of conversation, another notification sound could be heard, you two quickly check out what Choji could possibly say this time.
You freeze, a red flush spreading, while Togame drops his ice cream popsicle in disbelief.
This time, the message made you want to crush your phone and never appear under the sunlight.
"Use this time to confess properly okay? It's kind of tiring to see the both of you pining against one another. I'm counting on the two of you! :DD" seen by togame and you
...Well, isn't this the greatest?
In an absolutely shocking turn of events, no one has expected that their friend Choji would...
Choji, who Togame dearly loves as his friend, someone who introduced him to Shishitoren, and a person who he thinks shines the brightest at his best, just made Togame want to crawl in a hole and never come out.
He cleared his throat, quietly pressing the off button on his cellphone and placing it on the table, looking away as he nervously scratches the back of his neck. The tip of his ears burning while he feels his heart beating out of his ribcage.
You, who is trying to comprehend the message Choji sent, gripping on your phone like there is no tomorrow. Eyes wide and jaw dropping nearly to the floor, a deep scarlet covering your cheeks and neck. Not once have you moved your eyes from your screen.
"Choji.."
"What the fuck?!"
The both of you thought simultaneously.
Silence ensues, the air filled with a lot of tension, neither of you know how to start the conversation.
Togame's mind reels, he doesn't know what to say— he doesn't even know what to feel. All he knows that one way or another, he's screwed. (No thanks to his leader!)
You on the other hand, felt like you were about to burst from the embarassment.
It felt like the air was so suffocating, that the two felt the need to say something.
With one last glance at the message, you nod in resolution.
"..I'm sorry I haven't been honest, but I like-"
"Can I take you out-"
Both of your eyes met, mouths snapping shut in unison. Embarrassment and hesitation filling the two of you— acting like a couple on their first date (...well, if things go smoothly..)
Togame shakes his head before coughing. "You go first?" He offered to you, because did he actually hear you right?
"Oh no, you can go first.." You protested.
"No, you." Togame huffs in slight amusement.
"You!"
"How about... together?" He compromised, which makes you agree to the idea. Your heart pounding in nervousness– even if you heard somewhat of what he said a while ago.
"Like usual?" You chuckled nervously.
"Sure." Togame smiled.
"Three,"
"Two,
"One."
"I like you, please go out with me."
"I'd like to take you out on a date."
The two of you stared at each other in silence.
Togame is the first to look away, covering his mouth in shock— clearly flustered as the tip of his ears turn red.
You, on the other hand, can't help but look down to hide the growing smile on your face.
In the end, maybe Choji did something goof after all.
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BONUS!
Choji giggles as while he opens the bag of chips he managed to buy before sneaking off ahead. Umemiya returns the grin before patting the Shishitoren leader on the back.
"I thought you wanted to wait for them to earn their courage?" Umemiya— who was staring at the two new lovebirds from afar— raises his brow amusingly at Choji.
"They were taking way too long!" The smaller huffed, before taking a quick zoomed in pic of you and Togame walking ahead. Hands linked together, while shy smiles and laughs were exchanged in the distance.
----
notes ! :
...this took me so long to write it help the ending was badly rushed but... anyways ! :))
guess who flunked their math portion of the college entrance test! (me hahahshhshah..)
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zerokurokawa · 6 months ago
Note
Can I request rindou with a introverted reader who hates rindou? Like a enemies to lovers? Thank you!!
Unwritten | Rindou x Introverted!Reader <3
You were constantly being dragged to Tenjiku meetings due to your best friend dating Shion Madarame. She was forced to go, therefore, you were too. 
"You have to suffer with me," Your best friend would say, "If I have to go to these unbearable meetings, you do too." She smirked as she got out off the back of Shion's bike. You had rode by yourself, meaning you could just leave at any point. But instead, you stayed because you didn't want to make your best friend mad. You didn't even mind the meetings so much, you just minded having to be around him. 
Rindou Haitani was always bothering you in some sort of way. Whether it be teasing you about having your nose stuck in your phone, or just plain out talking to you about nonsense, he annoyed you. He would also pick fights with you, constantly belittling you and how you act. 
As soon as you stepped out of your car, he gave you a glare as if he didn't expect you to be there in the first place. You ignored this, barging through the warehouse doors and finding a comfortable spot to sit while the meeting began. It wasn't until after the meeting that he had began to walk over to you, arms crossed with a sly smile on his face. 
"You again, huh?" He asked, kicking your shoe with his boot, trying to get your attention. You ignored him, scrolling through your phone. 
"You not gonna answer me?" He nudged you again. 
"Rindou, just fuck off already." You said, not looking up from your phone. You had a feeling about Rindou and his ulterior motives when it came to you. You had a feeling that he either hated your guts and wanted you gone completely, or he liked you and this was his way of flirting. 
"Fuck off? Nah, I'd rather sit here and keep bugging you." He smirked, sitting down next to you. 
"What do you even want from me?" You asked, looking up from your phone. 
"I just wanna know why you always come to these meetings, yet, you have nothing to do with Tenjiku. I don't like it." 
"I come because my best friend is with Shion, one of the big four. She doesn't wanna sit here alone so I come with her." You looked over at him to see him with a slight smile on his face. It was devious smile, one that would cause shivers to go down anybody's spine. 
"So you're telling me you just sit here and ignore everybody while she goes around and talks? You could at least be more involved." He began to get up. God, you hated his guts. Hoping he would leave you alone, he did the exact opposite. He nudged your foot again and held out his hand. Cautiously, you took it and he helped you stand up from the corner you were sitting in. 
"I just come to come, I guess." You said, standing up. You noted the height difference between you two as you stood next to him. You for sure wasn't scared of him and you know he fought dirty, however, you didn't think anything of it when it came to you. 
"Well, maybe instead of being stuck up, you could congregate with someone." He said in a snarky tone. 
"I'm not stuck up, I'm just a little shy. That's all." You snapped back at him. 
"Oh..." He said, a little taken back by your sudden explanation and response. 
You didn't say anything else before walking off, leaving him behind. He began to follow you outside though, wanting to finish the conversation you two were having. 
"Hey!" You heard him call before opening your car door, "I'm sorry for assuming you were a stuck up bitch. I didn't know you were just shy." 
"It's fine, honestly..." You trailed off. 
"It's not, and I'm sorry. I'd like to get to know you and introduce you to more people so that way you won't feel so alone." He smiled sweetly. In that moment, you actually thought to yourself about how Rindou Haitani could possibly be bearable to be around. 
"Okay... then we can start by you not being a total asshole to me anymore." You replied. He nodded his head in response and pulled out his phone. 
"Here, lemme get your number and we can start from there." He said, rather confidently. Rindou had the good looks, charisma, and was smooth with his words. You ended up giving in and letting him have your number. 
"I guess just text me whenever." You gave him a small smile. He nodded and smiled back. 
Before you knew it, you were on your way home when your phone buzzed from a text. It was Rindou just saying "hey". You two began to talk and stayed up all night, getting to know each other. 
The rest was unwritten. 
(A/N: Wrote this really late at night, I have to get some sleep because i'm sleep deprived. I hope you enjoy!)
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wonton4rang · 6 months ago
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Roll the dice ¡!
pairing: bnd legal line x reader.
warnings: +18, smut, breeding, mentioned of birth control and pills, idk.
summary: bnd legal line mtl to use condom/ like breeding.
note: this came to me in a vision fr fr.
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sungho; he is a certified lover boy, like a husband material type of guy so i personally don't think he would like to breed you :( unless ofc it's to actually have a kid and not for the fantasy if you know what i mean. he would get worried about you because he knows how pills or birth control might affect you and he wouldn't like to purposely put you through that. it might happen accidentally tho and i can see him with wide open eyes and looking at you in panic after he finishes inside by mistake, he couldn't hold it this time and he is so ashamed and sorry :(( constantly whispering against your cheeks littles "i'm sorry, baby, so sorry" it's mainly because he feels guilty but you reassure him that is fine, you are under birth control for a reason!!
riwoo; i think he would do what you think and what you like, you like him to wear a condom? he will. you like him to come inside? he will. you like both but it depends on your mood and the day and on the weather and the conversations you've got that same day??? he's fine with that too!! just let him know please because otherwise, how would he know? riwoo is very similar to sungho's case but this one is kinda nonchalant about the why itself, he just knows he will do whatever makes you feel and be good. he just loves you so much but he is also kinda scared to ask because he doesn't wanna be nosey or you to think he wants to do something you don't :')
jaehyun; well, i got you news. bad or good it'll depend on your own perspective. but this dude??? he would want to breed the shit out of you (or into you) he could and will get so into the moment that it would just come naturally, he couldn't hold it or he didn't want to, i see him as a very submissive person when it comes to sex but he definitely also have his days where he would take control, still having you ride him as usual but controlling your pace and holding your hips on place when he felt his dick twitch and his orgasm so near "please, stay put, let me come inside this time" but it was more of an announcement, he was just letting you know because even though you let him, he wasn't able to hold it anymore :( poor boy is just so sensitive and so into you.
taesan; i think he wouldn't directly be into it bUT taesan is also a very curious boy so i just know he would like to try it at least to know what it is about. one time won't hurt anybody, right? problem was it wasn't just one time. he is not the type to be angry often but he is one to hold hard feelings for a while afterwards so i strongly expect angry sex w taesan after an argument probably over some jealousy or a disagreement about something in the house and he just has to demonstrate you that he is the man of the relationship, having sex with you and looking right into your eyes before coming deep into your pulsating cunt. you wouldn't say anything about it because honestly?? the way he looked down on you, how his cock throbbed inside of you and the way his wet lips kissed yours was so hot and endearing that you just enjoyed.
leehan; "jaehyun does it sometimes" he would say when trying to convince you "his girlfriend let's him, she doesn't mind" and you would just laugh a little bit before answering "well, i do, so forget about it and help me with this, would you?" he would be pouty all day long, complaining about how unfair it was for you to not let him try it at least once!! he was dating you and he was not planning on leaving your side so that means he will NEVER get to try it. omg, he was gonna faint. but you were too soft, too into him to forbid him and take that away from his grasp without even letting him taste it once. "babe" you called "about what you said earlier" his eyes flew to yours when he lifted his eyebrows in expectation "i am willing to do it, but just this time, yes? it really gets uncomfortable with the pills sometimes" and he would be so happy and grateful for you, fucking a baby into you all night long, because yes, you said just this time, not how many times.
so after giving you my thoughts on each, I'll go as it follows:
MOST.
jaehyun. yeah, for the first time in those mtl things i do the #1 is not leehan but goddamn it, jaehyun just screams "breeding" and then sobbing when he comes down of his high and thinks y'all are gonna have triplets (not that he doesn't want to but nOT NOW)
leehan. been there, done that, he would like to do it just to laugh about it, for the sake of it. he would enjoy it so much too omg (i need him!!)
taesan. already explained this one but he is basically with one foot on each side, is not that he doesn't like it but he won't do it on a daily basis because he doesn't think it's that big of a deal.
riwoo. like taesan, it's not that he doesn't like it but he would just go with the flow of whatever you want.
sungho. yeah, how bout no? <3 he ain't dealing w shit after that and he cares too much about you to make you worried or through some pain or something w the pills so yeah. but he does kinda like it, he just can't enjoy it fully because all the preoccupations won't let him.
LEAST.
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mediumgayitalian · 7 months ago
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fic rec friday 13
hi!! welcome to fic rec friday. every week, i pick five fics i have bookmarked and rec them with a little review. check them out!
I Need A Hero by @theroyalsavage
The "Nico is a superhero, Will is a med student" AU nobody asked for or wanted.
OBSESSED WITH THIS AU OBSESSED WITH THIS AU OBSESSED WITH THIS AU. I AM LOSING MY MIND AND HAVE READ IT SO MANY DOZENS OF TIMES. genuinely one of my top faces like its so fucking GOOD!!! the romcom romance of it all!! makes me lose it!!! the angst of loving someone who is constantly putting himself on the front lines!! the fear of not knowing if he's coming home!! being his healer, holding his life in your hands because he doesn't trust it with anyone else!!!! what if i rioted!!! what if i chewed clean through my ceiling!!!!! what if i swallowed my phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what if i clawed my way out of the pit of despair!!!! i am!! gonna!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!
2. As If His Hands Were Enough (to Hold an Avalanche Off) by @theroyalsavage
Nico di Angelo has been through enough to know life doesn't always work out the way you plan. But fate is a funny thing, and, in Nico's junior year of college, it hands him salvation in the form of freckled cheeks and a smile like the sun.
OH dude this author is actually everything to me. prepare for an onslaught of their stuff bc i am OBSESSED, but this one especially....oh it's special man. this had me LOSING MY MIND. seph’s acceptance made its way into my devotion scrapbook. never be ashamed of loving anybody….what a fucking thesis. i also ADORED how a) story didn’t end with them getting together, went thru them learning each other too and b) nico didn’t get fixed by dating will. he got fixed by loving himself, something he learned to do by loving will. crying.
3. Of Gods and Men by @theroyalsavage
There is something profoundly strange about the forest behind Will Solace’s new house. The trees, it seems, breathe magic. The truth is this: there are things that the forest hides that humans cannot understand. Nico di Angelo is one of them.
I LOVE PARTICULAR AUS!!!!!! AND I LOVE YOU ROYAL SAVAGE!!!!! dude god nico and mortal will is always gonna knock me flat bc its so canon, you know? will is going to be a consort of a god one day. and to read it in fic has me HOWLING but this one in particular....OH the ending is gonna knock yall flat fr!!! if you like percy refusing immortality for annabeth youre gonna LOVE this!!
4. Kitchen Nightmares by @theroyalsavage
Nico is the owner and head chef of an upscale restaurant in Hell's Kitchen, New York City. There's nothing easy about running a business, especially when you have to juggle an overprotective father, a college-age sister, and a staff about as under control as a stampede. The last thing Nico needs is a rival in the form of the ugliest food truck on the face of the planet. And yet, that's exactly what he gets. Of food fights, fledgling friendships, and Nico di Angelo's stupid little soft spot for Will Solace.
i know ive literally said it like five times now but NO ONE does an au like theroyalsavage idc. dude romeo & juliet but food truck and fancy restaurant?? hello!!!! omg!! i literally sat my ass down and devoured this i could not stop myself. and then i hit the end and started it right back up again. the love without having the space to establish anything….inherent homoeroticism of rivalry…..my heart!!
5. don't wanna be lonely, just wanna be yours by @theroyalsavage
Will Solace, café manager extraordinaire, just wants to coast through their monthly open mic night in peace. He definitely is not banking on meeting a handsome stranger with the voice of the gods and the death glare of a high-ranking member of the KGB. And yet, that's exactly what he gets.
telling someone you’re not even dating you’re in love with them after like five months is insane behaviour will solace i get you 😭😭 he is so real in every scenario all the time like he is genuinely perfect for nico who is equally as insane and deserves someone who is fully obsessed with him. god.
thank you for joining me this friday!! happy reading!!
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sunnyaalisse · 2 months ago
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Wanna know how to manage anxiety effectively? (I'm a psychologist) Formulate your anxious thoughts in a form of "What Will I Do if X happens?" and then answer as best as you can. You will find that there are 4 main types of situations your anxiety might be asking about: 1) nonsensical, unlikely, useless (WWID if I get kidnapped by a UFO?) 2) rational, predictable (WWID if I get a bad grade?) 3) rational, unpredictable (WWID if I go to a new job and something bad happens?) 4) unpredictable and uncontrolled (WWID if I get attacked on my way home?) Here's how to deal with each type: 1) unlikely, useless, nonsensical? answer it like the person who's asking you this question is a 13 year old child who's trying to annoy you. "that would suck, Timmy, but it sure would make a cool story that I would tell to anybody who would listen if I survived" 2) rational, predictable? make a date with this question. find time to sit down and legitimately think of a plan on what you're going to do. "I'll go talk to the teacher, ask what I can do to improve my grade, then I'll talk to my friends and ask them to explain the topic to me, then I'll talk to my parents and explain the situation if they're interested in hearing about it" 3) rational, unpredictable? you don't have to answer it in a detailed way, just decide on the first few things you will realistically do in any sort of distressful situation. "I'll call my friend and tell them about my situation, then I'll buy myself some ice-cream and figure out my next steps with the help of relevant people, google and determination." 4) uncontrolled? plan for what happens after the part you can't control, once you're in charge again. "I'll call the police, I know where the nearest hospital is, I have my friend's numbers memorised so I'll call them, either way I'll deal with whatever happens once I'm in control" anxiety related to the events that already happened (I said "you too" to the waiter who said "have a good meal") truly means to ask about either the consequences (what if now they think I'm dumb?) or the repeating of the situation (what if I do it again?). you can still reformulate these questions the same way: "WWID if they treat me like I'm stupid next time I'm there?" and "WWID if I say the same thing again, how can I make it charming?" or "WWID to avoid repeating the same situation again, what can I say instead?" anxiety is a mechanism that means to fill the gaps in a person's perception of their future, it seeks clarity, stability, normalcy and control. It doesn't need to clarify IF the situation will happen, it needs to clarify how the situation will be DEALT WITH if it does happen. unanswered "what will I do if..." questions tend to become a broken record because the need for clarity is not fulfilled. more often than not if the needs for clarity and normalcy are fulfilled, anxiety lets up. even questions like "WWID if I die?" can be answered: "if there's an afterlife I'll try to punch god" or "I'll ask if they have soda here" or "if there's no afterlife I'll do nothing, but the world will go on without me, complex, busy and beautiful" also, since anxiety can be caused by physical factors like exhaustion and overuse of caffeine, dealing with these factors could be very helpful. this type of anxiety doesn't come from the mind, it comes from the body, so grilling yourself with questions won't help in this case. rest, nourishment and sleep will do a lot of good though.
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burrythebusy · 4 months ago
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I love going back to reread hrkg because I just learn something new every time even without the influence of the recent chapter. I particularly love analyzing Kagiura’s character. His view on love and romance and family and marriage was just so interesting before. It was so innocent, meaning he didn't think of it any more or any less than just "I get to stay with him, only me". Like that's not the average thought for a crush. And Niibashi tells him that, he's like do you even view him romantically, or do you simply just wanna keep him close? It could be interpreted as so many things. Like aroace spec hrkg is such a real interpretation.
And it gets me even more when I view it in reference to his past relationship. Like his most Romantic™ action ("What lovers do") is a lap pillow. Because she was his girlfriend and that was the reason given for it. We're dating so this is something that people thay are dating do. So his middle school self is like oh okay. And it happens and he's stiff. And he doesn't think it feels right. And that follows him to high school bc if we're dating and this is something people that are dating do, why doesn't it feel right? But yes. That's literally it. That's as romantic as it goes for him until Niibashi mentions kissing. Which he didn't even think about. He claims it's an influence of never really seeing his parents kiss. His view on love IS his parents. It's influenced by those around him (ooh). But it's also because marriage is supposed to mean you're in love. And his parents are in love and act like best friends and rarely kiss so that's what the young Kagiura thinks of love to be like.
Now I don't know what influenced him to get with his girlfriend per se. Because (!!light novel stuff!!) I think it's implied that his view of love and marriage comes after his girlfriend, not before, which would make sense considering his relationship didn't work out. It also makes sense if it came before. Because why did it start? I genuinely think that he might have liked, and i think that's what was said. But i think he liked her as a friend, and he's expected to get with girls, and if his view on marriage was getting started at any point then. That's literally a prerequisite. A relationship like best friends. So he dates her and it just doesn't feel right. And it could've been because he treated the whole relationship like a friendship with a different label which wasnt what his girlfriend wanted. And then the one "traditionally romantic" thing that comes along, close physical contact, still doesn't feel right.
Going off of context clues here. It's safe to say they never kiss or even hold hands really. It's probably the only thing they ever did, the lap pillow. It's what Kagiura thinks about when he thinks of romance and what lovers do because it's the one thing he failed to FEEL right about. And if he liked her. Why didn't he?
Obviously everything isn't surface level either, on one surface. Because Kagiura’s personality comes into play too. There's probably more to be said about his politeness, how we don't see him really challenge anybody on what they say (except Hirano for obvious reasons). If his girlfriend said dating -> lap pillow then he's gonna say okay. Sure. Even if he's unsure about it. But we don't get much of his personality from then. We only know this snippet, and the fact that it bothers him.
But we also know WHY it bothers him after ch. 6 and 7, and in 16a. Kagiura doesn't think about kissing Hirano because his view on love and romance is limited to how his parents show it, and how his ex girlfriend showed it. He hasn't developed it on his own yet, at least not consciously. He likely never kissed his girlfriend (and if he did it doesn't stick with him at all since the first thing he thinks about is literally the lap pillow) and he doesn't see his parents kiss so Niibashi asks him about kissing hirano and he's like "idk lol". Hence why, does he even like Hirano romantically? (And though you can be in a romantic relationship without kissing, the question still remains as to how he sees his feelings for Hirano, considering how juvenile they seem*)
But the difference here is that, without thinking about it, Hirano and Kagiura were becoming best friends. Kagiura didn't go into friendship with Hirano thinking he's a love interest the same way he might have with his girlfriend. Hirano treated him really well and they developed this natural thing and Kagiura started to develop a natural Kagiura version of a crush. But still, every action after that wasn't with the deliberate intention of his outlook on love. It remained natural. So that "prerequisite" was already fulfilled (and honestly, it could easily be viewed separate of how he sees romance from his parents. Again, it all happens so naturally and easily for him).
So in chapter 6, he thinks about what Niibashi said more and then the urge comes. To kiss Hirano. The first time he's probably thought about kissing anyone. So it's already an outlier to how he views romance anyway because kissing never had to be a part of it but now it is. BUT WAIT THERES MORE!
Because next he decides to indulge in something he can easily call back to. His girlfriend and their experience. People that date do lap pillows. How would that feel with someone I'm in love with, someone I now know I want to kiss? And I truly don't think he expected much from it because of his experience of not really liking it. Of it being "off". But Hirano lies in his lap and his mind blanks. And then he lies in Hirano's lap and he can't do it. Not because it feels off or wrong. But because he felt too much. A LOT in that moment. Cue his sexual and sexuality awakening/crisis. It literally scares him out of being NEAR Hirano for extended periods of time. Out of touching him. Because this new attraction is foreign to him. He now actively wants to touch him, actively wants to kiss him and at this point he already knew hirano doesn't see him that way so what do you do?
Then 16a comes. They're starting to touch for ten seconds a day because Hirano said he would try, and Kagiura’s largest guilty pleasure is literally just physical contact. Particularly with Hirano. Which he used to do so casually but can't bring himself to. So he asks hirano when it's okay and they agree to ten seconds.
To me, this is when he comes to terms with the fact that he never romantically liked his girlfriend in the first place. Because he knows hirano isn't in love with him at this point despite Hirano agreeing to try. He knows what they feel is different. Which is exactly what happened with his girlfriend. That's why he's afraid he was making Hirano feel how he felt with his girlfriend back then. Uncomfortable. "Off". And when I view it in context I always come to the conclusion that he didn't like her (let alone love her). This may not be his first relationship but it is his first love.
All this to say... literally nothing. I just love digging into Kagiura’s character, how his past does end up influencing the present in really subtle ways. I mean think about it, he feels so guilty for wanting to touch Hirano that he limits himself to the ten seconds. Like every time before chapter 14 that they touched just because (locking arms, holding his shirt or his wrist just to grab onto him, that natural gravitation) is just gone. Because now he loves someone who doesn't love him so how could he possibly put the pressure on him to touch him in the same way? He gave away his right to do that. But it hurts him. (And it hurts Hirano too). Another problem. But that guilt doesn't come from nowhere. He doesn't want Hirano to feel how he felt with his girlfriend. He doesn't want to make him uncomfortable or push his physical boundaries and make himself a sad memory in Hirano's high school years.
Kagiura is experiencing this extent of love and a crush for the first time. He lied in his girlfriends lap hesitantly but did it because they were dating and didn't like it. And I feel like a great fear of his is making Hirano feel that way too. So he wants Hirano to feel the same way desperately without pushing the physical boundary that has once made him feel unsure and weird. He loves Hirano so much that he'll limit himself as much as he can bear in this process. (Which, isn't the greatest thing. It's almost contradictory). But that's his experience. That's how he's letting it influence him. And it's so interesting to me.
Erm this is long anyway I love doing Kagiura character study. Obviously this is my interpretation and how I view his character to be. And we are all influenced by our environment in the end, especially those that have an important place in our lives (hint hint wink wink iykyk) but some people still build their own wants and desires with that as a foundation. Kagiura took his parents as the blueprint itself. THE guide, THE directions. So now I think he's on a journey of defining love for himself too.
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br7ght · 9 months ago
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In the Cards (explained)
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Welcome everyone, this has been coming for a loooong time.
@occasionallyaurora and I have been creating an entire universe for a long time now, it started with just another barca orgy fic, yet here we are. However, we do feel that the entire series needs context for those who are really into fiction like we are.
We have posted multiple teasers, all of which help to gain a better understanding of the dynamics at play in the main orgy fic, none of which have been explicitly connected to this, hence the explanation.
So here's a little timeline for those who are interested! If not and you just want pure smut, part one can be found here :)
I love you (I'm sorry)
So this takes fic takes place first. Reader is at Manchester United and Lucy is at Manchester City and they're having a little sexually focused fling, however, feelings are rising between them. They have to break it off, despite these feelings, as reader is transferring to Barcelona in the new year and they don't want to do long distance.
I wanna be yours (and yours only)
This clearly takes place a lot later than the first as all five of them are playing at Barcelona. Lucy and Ona are in an established relationship that has been brimming since the World Cup. It is suggested that Alexia, Jenni, and reader are also in a relationship as this is what Ona gets jealous of in the first place. This is due to the rumour that Lucy and reader were dating before they moved to Barcelona.
By the end of this fic, it is established that Ona is interested in initiating an orgy with the other three.
Brats, buy one get one free
This fic takes place just before the international window where Jenni and Alexia will be playing for Spain and reader will be playing for England. This takes place around the same time as I wanna be yours (and yours only.)
Basking in the morning glow
The last full teaser takes place two weeks later, after all of them get back.
Captain's Night Out [part 1][part 2]
This is where Lucy asks Alexia about her wishes to have an orgy with the three of them, being met with a very eager response. This is where they begin to plan the little game that will unfold between the group.
So, there's the timeline for anybody interested in how all the previous teaser fics fit with the main orgy fic that is going to be four parts long. @occasionallyaurora and I are so attached to this little universe that we've created, that if you want to see anything else within this dynamic, leave us an ask and we will see what we can do :)
I want to thank @occasionallyaurora for being so well organized and keeping me together in all of this - they are also a huge contributor to the actual writing of the fic and I don't want this to go unnoticed!
Anyway lesbians, enjoy the show x
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katesmemes · 9 months ago
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feel free to change any pronouns, etc. || may contain some nsfw!
"I don't think that blush is your shade."
"I'll probably just stay home."
"This is the first critical rager of the year."
"You know what your doctor said."
"You need socialization."
"Why don't you use my tanning bed?"
"You're in need, babe."
"I'm really sorry you got electrocuted."
"Are you hot for anyone?"
"[Name], [Name], [Name], [Name], [Name], [Name], [Name]!"
"I don't know who that is."
"He doesn't play sports; he's cerebral."
"This party is gonna be clutch!"
"These things will turn your feet into hamburger helper."
"It's not haunted, just abandoned. Desecrated."
"Well, I heard [Name(s)] do witchcraft over there."
"I've never seen anybody there."
"I think it's really peaceful and quiet."
"I talk to him sometimes."
"I brought this for you."
"It's kinda morbid when I wear it so I wanted you to have it."
"That's really weird, [Name]."
"I just don't think anyone should be forgotten."
"Y'know, I wasn't gonna say anything, they were such a mess, but you look amazing now!"
"Oh my God, [Name], bag your face!"
"How do you know my name?"
"So what exactly happened to her?"
"I can never ever talk about it, for personal and legal reasons, and i also pinky swore, but I guess I can tell you. I trust you."
"I'd be screwed up if I were her, too."
"Hi, sorry, how do we know each other?"
"You're being so dramatic."
"This is not what I expected from you; you have so much potential."
"Lets find somewhere for you to sit for a bit, yeah?"
"I hate parties like this; I don't even know why I came."
"Your hair feels like easter grass."
"You know it's not nice to lead people on."
"I wish I was with you."
"It's okay; everyone does it."
"You should probably get going."
"Did you smash the mirror in the bathroom?"
"Do you know what happens to people who act out?"
"How about an apology?"
"I feel like I may want to apologize for what happened last night."
"Well, I'm glad you're okay."
"Oh, is there pizza left?"
"I think I'm gonna skip the movie."
"I'm just really tired from work."
"Do you know how hard that is on the groin muscles?"
"It doesn't even hurt anymore."
"Do you like this song?"
"We're better off up here in case anyone comes home."
"I haven't said this many words in a row in forever."
"I hate to say it, but you're either crazy, or just goddamned inconsiderate!"
"You're kind of absurd, aren't you?"
"I really don't get your fixation with that one."
"There are plenty of halfway-dece guys who would date you."
"I wanna help you, I really do, but I dunno how."
"It's a waste of time to try and fix a boy; it's better to just accept a guy's flaws."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"What happened to your neck?"
"You don't want to hold my hand?"
"This whole place gives me the creeps, okay?"
"I thought that was a really cool thing to say."
"Don't feel bad about what we did!"
"You saved me."
"Is that a rad new trend or something?"
"I don't play with dolls anymore."
"I'm sure there's some explanation."
"You know I'm usually pretty cool about things, right?"
"I have a bad feeling about this."
"You have no idea how scary this is."
"I actually feel like something's wrong."
"People are so afraid of death because they dunno when it's gonna happen to them."
"I'm not afraid of death anymore."
"I don't wanna die a virgin."
"I want to do it with someone I truly love."
"You're so supportive."
"I love our conversations."
"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude."
"How about I drive since you're not feeling so good?"
"Your boobs look great by the way."
"This is just too freaking much."
"It's your fault we're screwed."
"You act like you're happy for me, and you care about me, but you're not really happy for me."
"You couldn't let me have this one thing?"
"You knew I liked him and you went after him on purpose!"
"I swear, I would never do that to you!"
"Guys usually only want me for one thing."
"It just was never gonna work out between us."
"I don't have feelings for you like that."
"Do you know how uncool that is?!"
"Uh, you're not making any sense."
"Thank you for being nice to me when no one else was."
"You're the type of person who usually bullies me or looks right through me, but you didn't."
"You actually went out of your way to try to tell people I was part of your family."
"You really actually wanted me to be your sister..."
"You're a great person, [Name]."
"Listen, we're running out of time."
"Make love to me."
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penny-anna · 3 months ago
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Okay, but I just realized Billy turned 15 some time after the reveal;
Did he invite the JL to his birthday party?
Did the JL throw him a birthday party for fun?
Either way I wanna see that. (I also want to see Darla interact with the JL after having cake and ice cream. Especially Batman.)
Did they get him presents?
YEAH billy has been 15 for a little while, his birthday was some time between 'with open arms' and 'the line'
anyway those are all great & cute ideas but this is my actual serious HC on the subject: the secret identity having members of the JL do have a general culture of witholding personal information like dates of birth so while they know he turned 15 (he wouldn't shut up about it) they don't know exactly when his birthday was and so he didn't have a JL birthday party
with the exception of Bruce who knows everyone's full names and dates of birth and proceeded to corner Shazam after a meeting, say 'happy birthday' and then hand him an envelope containing what he felt was an appropriate amount of money for a fifteenth birthday gift aka more money than Billy's ever had in his life before
on a similar note nobody in the league (except for Bruce) knows what Billy's last name is & for the most part nobody knows where anybody lives.
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moeitsu · 6 months ago
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Since it's pride month I wanna talk about something I've noticed in the Red Dead Redemption fandom:
The Bisexual erasure of Sadie Adler and Arthur Morgan.
I apologize if this comes across as harsh, but it's something that's been on my mind since I started interacting w/ this media. And as a bisexual, I wanted to discuss it further.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with shipping these characters with the same sex. Personally, I am a Charthur shipper till the day I die. I don't ship Sadie with anyone but her husband, but I still enjoy seeing the fanart and headcanons of the women she's shipped with.
That being said, these characters are not lesbian or gay. That's literally a fact, and if you think otherwise it is bisexual erasure.
Let's start with Sadie Adler. Her entire character arc is getting revenge on the O'Driscolls for killing her husband. Whom she mourns for years, and talks about frequently with Arthur/other camp members. Now, if you want to ship her w/ Abigail or Molly or whomever, go for it!! But she has loved and still loves her husband. She is not a lesbian, and she didn't just magically turn into a lesbian after Jake's death. If she had any love interests other than Jake, this would make her bisexual. (even Sapphic is still a more appropriate term than lesbian)
The same goes for women in real life who have dated men first, then dated a woman. Just because their current partner is the same sex doesn't mean we can assume they are suddenly lesbian. Calling characters lesbians even if they have been in a relationship with men before is bisexual erasure.
This same concept is applied to Arthur Morgan. He had previous relationships with women. (one of whom he still has strong feelings for) and he is attracted to women. We see this with his greeting dialogue and when he compliments people. I believe Arthur's character is more likely to be bisexual than Sadie's, given his interactions w/ some of the men in the game. But that doesn't erase the fact that he's still attracted to the opposite sex. Arthur is not a gay man. Disregarding his past relationships w/ women is a form of bisexual erasure.
There is a huge double standard here because if these character's were actually lesbian/gay and the fandom decided to ship them with people of the opposite sex (i.e headcanon they are bi), there would be a major discourse.
Whenever bisexual women and men are presented in the media I always notice a few things:
Bi women are "secretly straight"
Bi women "don't know their lesbian yet"
Bi men are "secretly gay"
As well as this funny little graphic below ↓
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Like I said before, I am bisexual. And if I'm being honest this years pride month has been exhausting and mildly infuriating with how the community seems to disregard bisexuals in a hetero relationship.
I stopped talking about my bisexuality with people because once they know I have been in a committed relationship with a man for seven years, I am suddenly excluded from the conversation.
I've had ex-friends tell me that I only identify as bisexual to "fit in" with the queer community. I've had people in college assume I was lesbian bc of the way I dressed, and then try to tell me that I must be secretly lesbian when I tell them I'm Bi. (Ppl also assumed I was non-binary bc of the way I presented but that's another story)
This stuff doesn't just happen to fictional characters, it happens to real people every single day. I'm honestly tired of ppl saying "well my headcanon doesn't hurt anybody, they're not real." Yes it does!! You are supporting Bi erasure!!
That's all I'm gonna say on this topic for now. I'd love to leave it open for discussion, but please be nice. This isn't a call-out or me trying to antagonize the queer rdr community. I just wanted to get it off my mind.
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mlmxreader · 4 months ago
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Ready | Logan Howlett x trans!m!reader
『••✎••』
↳ ❝ Hi!! I was wondering if you could write a Logan X male reader fic :) and if it's not your thing that's fine but if you could make the reader a trans guy that would be double cool.
Bottom reader with a desperate need for praise :) Thank you so much!! ❞
: ̗̀➛ You and Logan decide that you're both ready to have sex.
trigger warnings: ̗̀➛ swearing, Daddy Kink, anal fingering, anal sex, lubricant, choking kink, praise kink, dom/sub, smoking, mentions of alcohol consumption
↳ WOMEN & MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
↳ brief author's note: no explicit mention of reader's genitalia is made.
•───────────────★•♛•★──────────────•
You and Logan spoke about it early on, wanting to take sex at a slower rate; you wanted to be ready for it, which he understood, and in all honesty was also glad to hear.
It had been a while since he had had actual feelings for anybody, and when sex was also thrown into the equation, he wanted to slow it down and put on the breaks. It wasn't like Logan minded that you were trans - you were a man, and that was all that mattered.
But what he didn't want to do was put you into a situation where you were uncomfortable or unsure about what was happening.
Still, sat together on your soft with your knee against his, he couldn't help but steal quick glances at you; it was just a date, but the sweat dripping down your neck was hard for him to ignore as he swallowed thickly and sucked in a harsh breath.
"Logan?" You hummed, putting your hand on his arm. "Everything alright?"
Logan shrugged as he shook his head. "Fine."
You frowned, doing the worst thing possible and moving to sit on his lap; you forced him to draw his attention to you as you planted your hands on either side of his head.
Sweaty palms clinging to the old brown leather and making it squeak. By instinct alone, he put his hands on the sides of your thighs. Your gaze went to his lips.
"You don't seem fine..."
He was breaking as he clenched his jaw, breath picking up pace as he grunted out softly. "I'm fine. Honest."
He couldn't resist, moving one hand up to cup your jaw as he leaned in to steal a kiss; you kissed back, adjusting yourself on his lap as you moaned softly.
You wanted him, you just weren't sure how to say it properly; even when he gently moved you to lie down on the sofa, looming over you as he kissed you harshly, you weren't sure how to say it.
"Baby?"
You hummed. "Yeah?"
"Somethin' you wanna tell me?" He asked lowly.
You nodded, working up the ability to say the words you wanted to. "I... Logan, I think I'm ready."
He nodded slowly, getting off of you so he could help you remove your shirt; he wriggled around a little, mouth hovering over your nipple as his hot breath brushed against the sensitive skin.
"Can I touch you here?" He asked.
You let out a breathless agreement, moaning softly when he took your nipple into his mouth and flicked his tongue against it; he moved onto the next shortly after, using his hand to keep it stimulated as you writhed and moaned beneath him.
He moved down, hooking his fingers at the edge of your waistband. "Can you flip over for me?"
You did as he said, pulling your knees up slightly. "Don't stop, Logan..."
"I won't," he promised softly. He pulled your trousers down, exposing your ass as he licked his lips and let out a shaky breath. "Can I touch?"
You agreed eagerly, gasping out and pushing back against him when he slipped two fingers into your tight ass; pumping them in and out slowly as he used his other hand to palm at his hard cock through the thin fabric of his shorts.
"Daddy-"
He paused for a split second. "Can you call me that again?"
You let out a low growl as you pushed back against nothing, needing friction and his touch more than anything. "Please, Daddy."
"Good boy," Logan grinned, rewarding you with a soft slap against your ass before he pushed his fingers back in. He moved them in a scissor motion for a moment, trying to open you up as much as he could. "Lube?"
You let out a frustrated grunt, feeling so fucking empty. "Top drawer by the mirror."
He was gone within an instant, leaving you wishing that you had grabbed it earlier and laid it out; you waited, taking the opportunity to get your breath as you waited.
Anticipation weighing heavily on your shoulders until you felt the sofa behind you dip down.
"You ready?" He asked lowly.
You looked back at him for a moment, and smiled. "I'm ready."
He didn't say anything, pushing his shorts down and lubing up his cock before doing the same to your ass; he started to massage it into you, drawing little moans from the back of your throat as you pushed back against him and tried to get fucking anything you possibly could. Wishing he would hurry up.
"You're doing so fucking well," Logan praised, getting himself lined up. "Think you're ready to take me?"
"More than ready," you agreed.
He pressed his tip against your ass, waiting for you to tell him to keep going before he pushed in to the hilt; he stilled, giving you time to decide to keep going as well as adjusting to his size. He was so fucking big, and you were so fucking tight. He waited.
"Fuck," you let out at last. "Fuck me."
"You sure?" He grumbled.
You let out a seethe. "Please."
He waited for you to push back against him and roll your hips before he leaned over you, his mouth just behind your ear as he bucked his hips into you, slowly at first.
"You're taking my cock so well," he praised quietly, more grunting than anything else. "Doing so fucking well already."
You squirmed, trying to get as much of him as you could, pressing your back against him as you gripped his wrist and brought it to your throat; you asked, and Logan was happy to wrap his hand around your throat.
He didn't squeeze down. Just let it rest there as your sweat mixed with his.
He picked up his pace a bit, going a little bit harder and faster and grinning when you told him to keep going; you wanted to hear him praise you again, desperate for it as you grunted and growled beneath him.
"That's it," he coaxed. "You're so fucking good for me."
You begged him to go harder and faster, jerking forward with each thrust he delivered; your tongue fell from your mouth, drool leaking down onto the brown leather beneath you as you tried your best to keep up with him.
Logan praised you with every other thrust, knowing that he was only coaxing you further and further into getting what you wanted; he couldn't deny it, he was fucking enjoying himself.
The sound of skin slapping against skin was impossible to ignore, so fucking loud as it bounced off of the walls; mixing with the harsh grunting and growling and moaning.
Logan pinned you down, fucking into you so hard that you could only moan out the word "Yes" as loud as your voice would allow; he kept fucking you, even when his cum was dribbling and drizzling out with his thrusts.
He gritted his teeth when you told him you were close, doubling down his efforts as you let out a choked moan. Words began to fail.
You were so fucking close, your ass clenching around his cock as you spasmed and jerked beneath him; erratic movements of your hips as your toes curled.
Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you called out his name. Your legs began to shake, getting weak as you begged Logan not to let you go.
He kept hold of you, kept thrusting into you until you were ready for him to get off; he was slow, praising you gently as he helped you to lie down on your chest.
"You okay?"
You grinned as you licked your lips. "I need a cigarette."
Logan laughed softly as he nodded. "On it... you want a beer?"
You nodded back, laughing quietly. "You know me too well."
"Ain't it my job?"
༺═──────────────────────────────═༻
whilst I have your attention for the moment, I'd like to direct it to Hani's family; they are still in Gaza, and Hani is organising donations to get them evacuated somewhere safe so that they can survive the genocide. if you have even just £1 to donate, please, please consider doing so. this family is in desperate need of aid.
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kangshxrtie · 2 months ago
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ch. 22 ⤍ PICK ME
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you started your stream with your usual energetic greeting, glancing at the chat as it started to flood in with messages. you leaned back in your chair, smiling, ready to dive into the updates.
"so earlier today, i filmed this video with leeseo and wonyoung," you began, trying not to laugh too hard at the memory. "first of all, never let wonyoung behind the wheel—she scares me. she couldn't keep her hands on the wheel because she freaked out every time the car moved even a little. now, leeseo? that kid is wild. for some reason, she's actually good at driving." you paused for effect. "like, way too good for her age."
user1 idk who even let wonyoung behind the wheel. she's literally scared of driving.
you nodded, laughing softly. "i was wondering the same damn thing," you replied, shaking your head.
🗡️k_a_z_u_h_a__ when do i get to drive you? 😏
you raised an eyebrow at the comment. "you driving? should i be scared?" you teased.
🗡️k_a_z_u_h_a__ of course not. i'm a great driver!
"i don't know... should i let zuha drive me around?" you asked your chat, knowing exactly how they'd react.
user2 hell no
user3 run yn
user4 ur def not making it out of that one
🗡️k_a_z_u_h_a__ i love being a mod. there's so much power here.
🗡️k_a_z_u_h_a__ i'm banning everybody who said i can't drive!
you couldn't help but laugh at her response. "you can't just ban my whole chat, zuha!"
reinyourheart wait how is kazuha a mod b4 me? i've known u longer
🗡️k_a_z_u_h_a__ 🤷🏻‍♀️ i'm just good like that.
🗡️_yujin_an damn imagine not being a mod
reinyourheart even yujin
reinyourheart she prob doesn't even use it
🗡️_yujin_an actually 🤓☝️ i use my mod powers all the time to run polls. i'm also an og y/n sub so i got mod
reinyourheart y/n plz mod me since apparently you're just giving mod to anybody these days
"i don't trust you enough to give you those privileges."
reinyourheart but u trust yujin???
"well, not really, but she's our leader," you joked.
reinyourheart banning u from my chat now
"that's fine, i never watch your streams anyways," you quipped, earning a playful gasp from your chat.
reinyourheart 😮 fake
"i'm joking. please don't actually ban me," you said, breaking into laughter. as your giggles faded, your eyes caught an interesting question in the chat.
user1 what type of person do u want to date?
the question made you pause for a moment. "i've actually been thinking about this a lot recently," you admitted.
you leaned forward, ready to dive into your answer. "so, first of all, i like someone with a cool and relaxed personality, but they also need to be bright enough to make me laugh—even with the corniest jokes." as you said this, your thoughts drifted toward someone in particular.
🗡️k_a_z_u_h_a__ i feel like i can satisfy those requirements
you chuckled softly but kept going. "i also want to date a morning person, so they can help me fix my sleep schedule."
🗡️k_a_z_u_h_a__ i hate sleeping in
"i really hope they can speak japanese too, 'cause i wanna visit japan so badly."
🗡️k_a_z_u_h_a__ me
you grinned, ignoring her comments for now. "another odd requirement—i want them to be good at ballet. it's a talent i just really admire."
🗡️k_a_z_u_h_a__ me 🙋🏻‍♀️
"oh, and if they look like bae suzy, that's a huge bonus," you added with a nostalgic smile. "she was my ideal type when i was younger."
🗡️k_a_z_u_h_a__ pick me! choose mee!
"and another weird one—they need to randomly start stretching or doing squats whenever they feel like it. bonus points if they have abs. that's just..." you sighed dramatically. "so hot."
🗡️k_a_z_u_h_a__ i literally fit all the requirements
you finally broke, laughing as you read her string of comments. "i don't know if anybody can really line up to all these standards," you shrugged playfully.
🗡️k_a_z_u_h_a__ am i even here rn 😞
"y'all, if you know someone who meets all these standards, let me know," you told your chat, laughing at how many people were either playing along or just laughing at the interaction.
🗡️k_a_z_u_h_a__ chat suggest me #ynxzuha
🗡️k_a_z_u_h_a__ imma start banning ppl that type any other name
"you can't threaten my chat like that, zuha," you chuckled, reading her messages aloud.
🗡️k_a_z_u_h_a__ chat she noticed me
you shook your head, smiling. "but since you're here, what do you think of all these suggestions?"
🗡️k_a_z_u_h_a__ idk but i think that kazuha girl is pretty cool. i think u wld like her
you pursed your lips in thought. "hmm... i don't really know. i'll have to think about that one."
🗡️k_a_z_u_h_a__ trust
"i guess i'll trust you," you said, playing along. "but what are you doing right now? you should join me."
🗡️k_a_z_u_h_a__ i cant im filming leniverse rn
you gasped. "what do you mean? stop watching me and go film!" you teased, mock-scolding her.
🗡️k_a_z_u_h_a__ we good. they're not rdy yet
"alright, just don't get into trouble because of me."
🗡️k_a_z_u_h_a__ talking to u is more important tho :/
🗡️k_a_z_u_h_a__ nobody tell chaewon i said that
"there's a reason i act the way i do—it's because she says stuff like this," you said with an exaggerated sigh.
🗡️k_a_z_u_h_a__ i miss u lets hang out soon
"we literally hung out yesterday," you reminded her, laughing.
user5 u did?
user6 i miss when y/n updated us
you nodded, leaning into the camera. "yeah, because we filmed the collab!" you added, catching yourself before revealing too much. "when will that be posted, zuha?"
🗡️k_a_z_u_h_a__ shld be posted next week
"okay, tell your team to edit me well," you said with a grin.
🗡️k_a_z_u_h_a__ i will.
🗡️k_a_z_u_h_a__ i hv to film now talk l8r
"bye, zuha!" you waved dramatically, just as you got a perfectly timed message from yujin that she was almost ready.
"so, today we'll be playing games with yujin, who should be here soon," you announced to your chat. no sooner had you said it, you heard the familiar ping, signaling that yujin had joined the call.
"y/n, why didn't you warn me?" yujin exclaimed, her voice full of exasperation.
you blinked. "what do you mean?"
"leeseo just showed me what you all did in the video today."
"oh, that! yeah, she's crazy with it," you laughed, remembering the madness.
"she was all like, 'you wanna see what i learned?' and i'm thinking, sure, why not—'cause i'm actually curious about what y'all filmed. next thing i know, she reverses fast and does a freaking j-turn. i've never been so scared in my life."
"she did it first try, too. i was just sitting there, in shock."
"i just wish i had talked to wonyoung first," yujin muttered.
"i'm so glad you're the driver in the group. no way we'd be alive if wonyoung was behind the wheel."
"oh, absolutely," yujin agreed quickly. you both laughed before getting connected to the game, ready for the chaos that would follow.
zuhasgf connected
as soon as yujin's character appeared in the game lobby, you rolled your eyes, and immediately opened the menu, kicking her out without hesitation.
"alright, i'm in the game," she announced, unaware of what you'd just done.
"huh? y/n, did you just kick me out?" yujin's voice sounded confused.
you tried to act innocent. "wait, why'd you disconnect?"
yujin groaned, realizing. "you literally just kicked me."
"i think you need a new username," you replied.
"i can't get back in—did you ban me?" yujin chuckled.
"don't blame me because you can't get in the game," you said.
zuhasgf connected.
you immediately kicked her out again, this time banning her completely.
"y/n!" yujin yelled in disbelief.
"i told you to make a new username. i'm not accepting this one," you said firmly.
"just unban me!" yujin demanded, still laughing.
"are you trying to join with the same character?" you asked.
"yeah, did you unban me?"
"...of course," you lied smoothly.
once yujin finally decides to change her name back to normal, you two load into the game, the screen fades in, revealing your pirates standing confidently on a dock, the vast ocean stretching behind them, with a rugged ship rocking gently in the harbor.
"i don't have a shovel, so you're gonna have to do all the digging," yujin lazily announced.
"yujin, if you don't put some type of work in, i might actually fight you," you shot back.
you walk off in the opposite direction when you spot something off in the distance. "there's a ship here," you inform yujin.
she started her pirate roleplay. "arghh! i'm on my way!" yujin replied in a raspy pirate accent, rushing toward the ship with exaggerated enthusiasm.
suddenly, your screen started shaking violently. "what was that?" you muttered, trying to steady your view.
on the other end, you could hear yujin losing her mind, screaming incoherently. there were no actual words, just pure panic as she mashed buttons in a futile attempt to do... something.
while yujin flailed, you spotted an ocean crawler emerging from the sand. remaining calm, you casually pulled out your gun and shot it. meanwhile, yujin continued screaming in terror about something you couldn't even see.
then, out of nowhere, yujin set off an explosion—right next to you. the entire screen flashed red as both you and the surrounding enemies were blasted back.
"oh my god, yujin! what the fuck!" you yelled, your health bar dangerously low as you quickly ate some food to recover.
"you're welcome!" yujin chirped, completely ignoring the fact that she had almost killed you along with the monsters.
the battle ended, and you both wandered around the island, eventually stumbling upon a mysterious shipwreck. a spectral pirate appeared out of thin air, launching into an overly dramatic speech about ancient pirate lore.
"this is actually the longest speech i've ever heard. argh," yujin groaned.
you decided to pull out a ukelele from your inventory. yujin, never one to be outdone, joined in with her singing about finding the pirate captain, her voice cracking from the strain of trying to stay in character.
later, while you were still outside playing music, yujin's shrill voice pierced the calm.
"three ghost ships!" she shouted.
"let's go. we must go on an adventure!" you replied, dramatically diving into the water, heading for the ghost ship, determination in your heart.
however, as you swam, the tide came in, forcefully pushing your character back. you struggled against the current, while yujin, oblivious, had already made it onto your ship and was sailing away.
"yujin! get your ass back here!" you screamed, frantically swimming after the ship. "i'm literally sinking!"
after what felt like an eternity, yujin finally circled back for you. gasping for breath, you managed to pull yourself up onto the deck.
relieved to be back on board, you stood at the front of the ship, surveying the ocean ahead. you felt the wind in your face, the waves crashing against the hull. surely, yujin could be trusted to steer the ship... right?
but then you noticed something alarming. "yujin... we're gonna crash into this rock!" you said, your voice tense.
"anchor!" yujin screamed, but it was far too late. the ship slammed into the rock.
"we're gonna die on this ship. not even from the battles, it'll be from your terrible driving," you groaned.
"naww, we're good," yujin said confidently, somehow managing to reverse the ship and sail around the obstacle, acting like nothing had happened.
you decided to climb up to the ship's bowsprit, balancing precariously on the beam as the ship cut through the waves. "is standing up here a good idea?" you asked, already knowing the answer.
"argh! of course it is!" yujin replied without hesitation.
"is playing music as we go into battle a bad idea?" she asked, joining you upfront with her accordian, strumming an out-of-tune melody.
you pulled out your ukulele from the inventory, matching her energy, and for a moment, it was peaceful—just two pirates making music.
then, without warning, the water around you started to churn. from the depths of the ocean, a massive kraken emerged, its tentacles towering above your ship.
both you and yujin screamed in unison as chaos ensued. you were flung into the water but somehow kept playing your ukulele, refusing to let the music die.
"it's sucking us in!" yujin shouted, her voice on the verge of panic. "load the cannons! we gotta fight this off!"
"can we even fight this thing?" you asked through fits of laughter, doubting your chances.
you quickly switched to the cannonballs, aiming at the monstrous tentacles, firing off shots as fast as you could. you felt like you were making progress, but then you noticed the ship was being dragged deeper into the abyss.
your screen flickered and went dark with a red outline. "what is even happening?" you groaned as your character faded into the ghostly realm.
as a spirit, you wandered aimlessly, spotting another figure. thinking it was yujin, you approached, only to realize it was a random player—a man who's character gave you a casual nod.
"later, dude," he said, disappearing into the void.
you eventually respawned back with yujin, both of you standing on the remains of your ship, now just floating debris in the ocean.
"well, that was a great sea of thieves adventure. we lost everything," yujin said, pulling out her accordion.
you pulled out your ukulele, shaking your head but smiling. "yeah, it was great."
"the fucking kraken..." yujin muttered.
"literally right before the pirate ship, too," you said.
"literally the most random shit," she added, laughing.
"crazy," you agreed, both of you still basking in the aftermath of the chaos.
"anyway, i guess we have to end here," yujin said, the energy winding down.
"yeah, we do," you agreed, starting the stream wrap-up.
you exited the call with yujin, turning your attention to chat. "alright, chat, it's about that time," you said, leaning back in your chair with a relaxed smile. "i'll be live tomorrow for some more games, maybe with a few friends, but i haven't locked anything in yet."
you glanced at the chat as messages rolled in, then continued. "also, keep an eye out—our channel's dropping a new video soon, so make sure to check that out when it's up. but yeah, that's all for today!"
you gave a casual wave. "thanks for hanging out, and i'll see you next time." with a final smile, you ended the stream.
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ALL CHAPTERS !!! | NEXT CH !!!
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