#it just feels foreign??? to me???
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girl help i am either in love with nobody or in love with everybody and my brain doesn't fucking make sense
#like idk im like. very affectionate and want to share this affection in a way that means something but also#i don't like the idea of 'this person is your number 1 and above everything else' bc like#it just feels foreign??? to me???#idk unless im like hyperfixating on a person which is awful and i never wanna do ever again for anybody around me's sake#like i guess i shouldn't make any decisions about my sexuality before ive been in at least one real meaningful relationship and but like#idk i really care about the guy i think i have feelings for i dont wanna pull any triggers unless i know it really is for me yanno?#like yea ive edated before and like no offence to ppl happily in an LDR online but#its just. different from an irl thing#and even then i was like 16 the last time i thought i had a crush on someone#and i know full well that 95% of my teenage 'crushes' were just me really liking a friend and thinking i wanted to date them#but like no i was just a jealous teenager and wanted my pals to hang out with me more than others LMAO
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hey if you ever feel like you're faking your pain/mental illness/any symptoms, or if you feel like no one understands or believes you. i do. i believe you. i love you and i hope you do what you can to take care of yourself <3
#i spent so so much of my life in pain or sick#and being told i was faking it#or being dramatic#or just acting out for attention#and it's crushing#but being around people who genuinely care about me#and them BELIEVING me#it's such a foreign feeling#but it's life saving#i believe you#thank you for believing me#mental health#mental health awareness#chronic illness#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#chronically ill#mental health positivity#positivity#not mlm#dantes talking again
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“haha odo is so beige and bland and boring despite being a literal shapeshifter” like ok yes I laugh at those jokes too and find them funny I literally have no issue with them but sometimes I also wanna talk about how that’s kind of the whole point of his character.
like odo’s abilities and way of being is so unlike any other known species in the alpha quadrant that it’s shown to be disturbing and off-putting to a lot of people — or at the very least that’s what he was led to believe. like we see this in the alternate where mora tries to convince him he’ll either be locked up in a prison or put in a zoo to gawk at if he’s perceived to have committed any sort of crime or transgression.
so despite being able to literally become anything he can think of, he chooses his default presentation to be as standard, bland and uninteresting as he possibly can. male, always in a beige uniform, very standard hair cut.
odo is so plain because he was made to be afraid of being literally anything else
#also obligatory “trans odo” ramble but yeah as a trans person this all really hits me#I didn’t really fully accept I was trans let alone come out until after high school and I feel like while everyone around me was#experimenting w style and fashion or whatever I just put on the most bland shit possible bc the thought of my appearance actually being able#to reflect the way I as a person feel always felt so foreign to me#anyways I love odo sm#odo#ds9#deep space nine#star trek#shut up abe
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well looks like im never leaving california! if any of u guys need reproductive healthcare i will house all of you im not even playing
#this is just the tip of the iceberg too like there is a literal genocide happening right now and the fact that its not a dealbreaker for#ANYONE pisses me the fuck off#my best friend is palestinian and its very jarring to see news outlets not even bother to MENTION the genocide rn#'foreign affairs' like ok kys#HOW DID WE LET THIS HAPPEEENN#harris pisses me the fuck off bc she went around parading right winged policies to appeal to republicans#instead of actually building a strong foundation#-> but yeah sure lets waste our fucking time trying ro pay celebs to endorse u!#'kamala is brat! KYS KYS KYS I FUCKING HATE YOU LOT LIKE PLEASE GET SO REAL#i hope they all feel like some fucking clowns rn#i feel siccckkkkkkkk#also im sorry nonamerican followers for americanizing your feeds but#ive been radicalized since i was like 9#AND i studied social/political documentary and film in university#so boy do i have a fucking lot to say abt the state of the world rn!!!!!!!
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#fucks me up that there are two whole new animals in the house that i barely know#who depend on me for everything#barely recognize me as a friend or helper#and are so incredibly incredibly fragile#i got worried for junie today because her spay incision had some swelling#and it's normal to have some and i have seen it before#but after what we just wemt through i got upset and rushed her to the vet#who said it was fine and thankfully we have free office visits#but i was so upset even though i knew it was probably normal#i look at them and i see adorable cuddly sweet TEMPORARY things and i feel like something inside me got broken somehow#and i was right all along that after it was all over i would come back but not quite as myself#i just hadn't fully understood the extent#we are keeping them and it sort of had to happen when it did but i think it was too early for me#they are so cute and when they do cuddle it's so sweet and obviously i would fight for them as hard as i would for Fancy#because that's just how the deal works and it isn't about you at all it's about how they each carry a little world inside them just as we d#and that deserves equal respect and care regardless of my personal affections#but i look at them and i see little creatures that don't belong here and are foreign in some fundamental way#and that they will be gone in just a little while and things will go back to how they were#which is impossible#we will settle in and i doubt anything i am feeling is abnormal but I'm really struggling and i feel so bad about that#i don't know#it's just a lot to deal with#and i feel very lonely and sad about it#and under it all the sick feeling of having JUST held all three lads as they passed and the VISCERAL reality of it#and knowing one day if everything goes just right i will be holding them too#dear god life is so fragile and every living thing is just as mortal as any other
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How does it feel to both be invaders of the same corpse?
#I'm thinking of them#my art#art#avis's doodles#danganronpa#danganronpa goodbye despair#hajime hinata#izuru kamukura#sdr2 spoilers#ok so like. the Hajime wr know is literally just a... reconstruction of the original Hajime who was destroyed during the Kamakura project#so he kind of is like kamakura. a foreign entity placed into hinata's body by a group wanting to spread hope#hajime isn't real. i feel like he might think that. he's no different from alter ego... or junkos ai#idk they got me thinking#very quick doodle
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i was conducting research on crushes and attraction, and i have come to the conclusion that allo people are not real
#i cannot fathom how people are unable to sleep cause they’re thinking about a crush…?#or how love songs on the radio are real feeling and not insane exaggerations#or how you can look at someone and think you wanna do the nasty with them#honestly even just looking at someone and thinking about kissing them is such a foreign concept to me#i always thought people were lying or exaggerating about all that#aroace#aroace experience#arospec#aromantic#asexual#asexual experience#aegoromantic#lowkey a shitpost#shitpost#are allo people real#asexual aromantic
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been sitting with a half filled mail in ballot in my room for a week now mulling over who tf to vote for. ive got people online claiming that theyre fine with genocide overseas as long as kamala can maintain trans rights, and we're two weeks from the election and she's saying she won't even fight to restore trans bans in any state because we should "follow" the law?? i dont want any fucking person to tell me that voting for this woman will help me or my communities in anyway. if she loses, this isn't the fault of non-voters, this is the fault of a so-called "progressive" party making their case as morally "better" than republicans on the basis that they haven't built their own wall YET, or that at the very least they aren't immediately wiping out an entire ethnic population....you're all fucking freaks. I don't want MY RIGHTS at the cost of palestinian life??? this makes me want to vote third party even more cause there's no way I can sleep at night knowing I voted for someone who gives absolutely no shit about what the majority of the US population agrees on (weapons embargo, gender-affirming care, healthcare expansion, student loan forgiveness, increase in wages). i would rather spend my time ruminating over my ballot with people who make me feel safe and seen and who are working on building tools and supports within our greater community. i have a privilege to be so over this, but myself and other marginalized people deserve to voice our criticisms and concerns without being shamed into making a decision. shaming people to fall in line on an election where they don't feel protected regardless of the outcome will force people to become more disillusioned...and i dont fucking blame them for being more disillusioned either.
#nothing feels right nothing feels right#dont come at me with a harm reduction mentality#there is no harm reduction here#its literally just a matter of who you prefer in office#the overt genocide lover or the covert whos not actually covert genocide lover#these two candidates are virtually the same on domestic and foreign policy
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Can’t wait to visit Iraq and just live blog from there. That will be so fun
#My Iraqi girl era will be THE era of all eras#Like ill probably post the same shit but I feel like it’ll be different when im actually in Baghdad and#Living in the culture vs talking about it#It’ll probably get lost in translation bc I have maybe 7-10 Arab mutuals total but idc this is for me#Plus I feel like I center my American identity a lot so it’ll be nice to be in my Iraqi bag idk#I lowkey feel like im too American for some of my relatives and also some of the locals bc I get told I give#“Foreigner vibes” (what)#But I also genuinely think I blend into it seamlessly too like on my last trip it wasn’t a struggle at all#Like I speak Arabic fine and Baghdad feels like home to me even if I wasn’t raised there#Maybe I dress more western idk I was just in jeans and casual tops most of that trip#I did have issues w what clothes to wear but that’s bc I couldn’t wear my regular shit back there which is fine#It was a grwat time overall I miss everyone I miss the capital
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Oh my gosh, okay okay okay, anon, I've had a few wines after a friend popped by unexpectedly, sorry in advance, but she's gone now so hear me out, haha. I'm putting my crime scene investigations hat on and I can tell you after watching the scene *mumbles indecipherably* times, Lestat has at least two visible bites in the scene on his throat, not one. We all tend to look at the one on the left, but he actually has one lower on the right too.
I feel like I'm presenting evidence in a court of law right now, haha, but I've lightened the cap a bit, so hopefully you can see the one we're all normally talking about on the left here, but then, on the right, you get a hint of blood? (And you can actuall see it in that gifset too)
And when he tilts his head towards Claudia, oh! There it is! Second bite:
Which brings me back to the scene itself, and I hear you, I think maybe it was meant to be the upper left bite scarring there, BUT I'll also counter with the very fun (to me, haha) argument that the first bite we saw through the window was actually a different bite entirely given Louis seemed to go for the join of Lestat's neck and shoulder, which in the aftermath scene, would be covered by his shirt.
In other words, I think Louis bit him more than once, and I want to have been a fly on the wall in the make up team's meeting as they decided when and where to place the bites / bruises / wounding.
But anyway, YES, I love on soooo many levels that the show broadcasts that they have insane sex in Lestat's lover's house, probably break her bed, given the bruising, only for Louis to immediately take Lestat home and declare it's time, after five years, for a family meeting? Deranged behaviour! And he's there smelling at the very least like the Mississippi River and clearly glowed up from vampire / soulmate blood after years recovering on a strict animal diet, and Lestat's there looking well fucked and fed on, and their daughter is forced to just sit there and act like this is Completely Fine. A resentment probably aggravated by the fact that we know Louis threw Lestat's coffin out the window, so presumably they're sharing one tonight! She deserved to murder them both so many times over, but honestly never more so than this night!
#(i hope this works anon my tumblr weirdly ate your ask as i was replying?#luckily i had it open in another window to screenshot)#more to the point lowkey you could classify this as evidence of louis being terrible at aftercare too haha#like imagine fucking your abusive ex after five years apart only to be like#yeah okay now immediately come and talk to our daughter who you're estranged from#(to say nothing about the mmm not forced but perhaps strongarmed reveal of trauma too)#it's fucked i love it louis your mind is.....so many things#i hope this is legible i was NOT expecting my friend to show up with booze tonight lmao#and also it's my last day in the office for the year tomororow (!!)#and have the day is a work excursion with my work wife which is very cute#so i'm feeling ?? relaxed ??#very foreign feeling for me in the year 2024 to be honest haha#but more to the point i hear you anon#it cold be just a little blink-and-you-miss-it continuity error#but gosh isn't it more fun if it's not?#lestat de lioncourt#iwtv 1.06#logistics
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Don't mind me just
Smacks Gregory over the head with burnt out gifted kid syndrome™
#am i self projecting?#nooooo#okay maybe a little#but just hear me out i could do a whole ass ramble about how this could work#Gregory putting a fuckton of pressure on himself to be perfect to uphold the reputation of the 4.0 gpa hes oh so proud of#so hes determined to be perfect at everything even if that means overworking himself to achive the results#you could even make the argument that his parents expect him to be some sort of prodigy or smth if you wanna go that route#so because of their expectations or (what he interprets as) the expectations of his peers he just puts more pressure on himself and#FUCKKK SOMEONE TELL HIM ITS OKAY TO MAKE MISTAKES PLEASE PLEA SE#ack sorry im rambling here but yeee#i guess you could say they have great expecta-💥💥💥#okay now im done#sorry if this ramble seems ooc or smth just#hell yeahhh pushing my feelings onto a fictional character to cope :'D#South park#south park headcanon#i need to make a tag for my own headcanons tbh#Gregory of yardale#sp gregory#sp foreign kids
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My boyfriend (a straight, cis man) just told me that he watched Glass Onion yesterday after I recommended it to him, and then had the AUDACITY to ask me how I know that Benoit Blanc is gay and Hugh Grant is his live-in boyfriend?
Like???? The sky is blue, babe, just gotta open your eyes!!!
For the record, Benoit Blanc: 1. Wears those funky little suits with stripes and patterns and the little scarves. Have you ever seen straight men wear anything that fun and fruity? Or accessorize said no-fun outfits? No, you haven't. 2. Avoids Birdie, a conventionally attractive woman, heavily flirting with him, like the effing Bubonic Plague. 3. Takes long baths in the tub with cute little rubber duckies and soap. FRUITY. 4. Has NO REACTION other than a polite little cough to getting liquid shot down his throat!!!!! 5. HUGH GRANT IS IN HIS HOUSE COVERED IN FLOUR! JFC THEY'RE NOT JUST ROOMMATES!!!
#benoit blanc#glass onion#knives out#daniel craig#Honestly I have no idea how straight men think#is subtext a foreign concept#is this how it feels to have all your ships be explicitly announced in media???????#how have you never waited for years for crumbs of interaction#honestly I ship Destiel subtext is my life#also johnlock#merthur#wolfstar#Bechloe#THE LIST GOES ON!!!!#like you gonna tell me satosugu isn't real just because they don't explicitly call e/o boyfriend?!#ffs i shipped helen and peg in this movie for a hot minute THAT is how deep into the subtext closet i am#sigh
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I've done it. My first character-inspired playlist. very proud of myself :P
there's a possibility that I will edit it a bit later, maybe add a few songs here and there, but this is more-or-less it's finished form.
edit: I FORGOT TO TAG THE PEOPLE WHO ASKED. SORRY.
@bittersweetbeet @storgicdealer
I think there was one more person but I don't remember who you are. im sorry :(
#this was fun#do feel free to give me your opinions; like I said this is my first attempt at something like this#and im sure there's a bunch more songs out there that would fit this#anyhoo#animator vs animation#alan becker#rage's ramblings about sticks#victim x mitsi#yes#gosh tagging ships is so foreign to me#music#playlist#okay those are just for me#okay ill shut up now#Spotify
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"But if we dont get reblogs and likes than why bother creating at all" Did you never doodle in your notebook in class. Did you never have a notebook of cringe doodles you never wanted people to see but got filled anyway. Was this never something you did because it was a tool of personal comfort.
#t.extpost#like i get wanting the attention god i get that drive too#but its this complete absence of like#personal stake? the doing it just to do it? that baffles me#Like i drew long before i was even allowed to have a computer and long before I had an art account and long before i#could stand having other people see most of it#Like it was something done for personal comfort and enjoyment long before the idea of being praised was ever a possibility#like hell i avoided any sort of art major or 'career' out of fear that it would suck the joy out of something i did for myself#and i still get artblock or down and what have you but ultimately people paying attention has never been the goal#so this absolute 'if it wasnt for others it wouldnt exist' mindset feels so foreign#like sure part of it but all?#also this is non rebloggable because it is personal musing and i truely do not wish to fight w/ others over the idea of what#is the right way to be validated as an artist
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“Why’s he call you Darlin’?”
on my knees begging my brain to stop trying to associate this song with Sam
#(it’s too late guys i’ve already added it to a couple playlists. i can’t help it)#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted sam#redacted darlin#rp audio stuff#Seven’s Blorbo Songs#music stuff#i fell down a rabbit hole of music videos on YT last night and decided to give this song a chance based on the title obviously#skipped through all the exposition just to quickly find out if i liked the song or not#and as soon as the first line came in i went head-in-hands at my desk bc i just Knew it was over for me#i hate that i like it#it’s very repetitive and giving strong Modern/Mainstream Pop-Rap-Country vibes#but i’m not too proud to admit that i eat that shit up on occasion#‘You’ve been beatin’ ‘round the bush so much you’re knockin’ off the leaves.’ goes kinda hard tho i’m ngl#‘ole boy in a Ridgeline and i drive a Chevy’ would Sam be a truck elitist? hmm#i doubt it. i see him as too practical-minded to care about brand names and shit like that#like irl i think it’s very silly. and perhaps a little questionable to hate on a ‘foreign’ vehicle. but i don’t even like trucks at all so#insecure country boys and their obsession with big trucks are ruining the road for us regular people that just want a normal ass car#but i’ll stop before i go off on a rant about america’s transportation problems#anyways. i can separate reality from fiction and i love the image of Sam in a beat up beloved old truck. cliché as it may be#getting back on track. my POINT was that the song doesn’t even necessarily fit Sam’s vibes i just. can’t undo the association#been trying to think of a way for it to fit him but that would require Darlin’ to be cheating on him and i don’t like that thought#like i love some types of angst but cheating isn’t one of them#i could view it through the context of being directed at Alexis bc i already hate her lmao but once again it doesn’t fit in canon#and i don’t know how i feel about the thought that he used to call her Darlin’ too. though it’s very possible. mmm angst#not that it has to fit with canon for me to attach a song to a character. certainly not! but i need to make it work in my mind Somehow#and i can’t even come up with a good HC to make this fit. the idea of Jealous!Sam is fun in theory but idk if i’d like it practice anyways#tldr: does this really fit canon Sam? meh. Is it forever tied to him in my mind anyways due to the use of the petname Darlin’? absolutely.#anywho. one of these days i’ll open this app to do something other than vent post or yap abt rp audio blorbos. but that day is not today!
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isha's song got me CRYING FOR REAL FOR REAL
#text#nova shh#arcane#arcane s2#arcane spoilers#isha lol#arcane meta#music#crying aside i'm REALLY fascinated with the choice to make the song in mandarin#my mandarin isn't personally good enough to understand most of the poetic nuances of the song but#the melody and instrumentation and vocals are Impeccably expressive. i know what this song is about even if i don't know the words.#i don't love the take that a foreign language is being used as a metaphor for someone being nonverbal but#i do think it's smth adjacent. it's not a representation of being nonverbal but rather a very real communication barrier#and yet for the things that really matter at the end of all things - the feeling the loyalty the love - i understand it perfectly#just as isha is understood perfectly by jinx through physicality and mannerism and action. we perceive a barrier where there is none#and there's something to be said about the innate affinity we have for the human voice in deep emotional expression#as someone who dearly loves instrumental/orchestral music i know this to be true. the song would not have the same impact without vocals#thinking about the nier soundtracks too.#anyway. i'm crying for real for real idk what just came over me
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