#it just feels foreign??? to me???
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girl help i am either in love with nobody or in love with everybody and my brain doesn't fucking make sense
#like idk im like. very affectionate and want to share this affection in a way that means something but also#i don't like the idea of 'this person is your number 1 and above everything else' bc like#it just feels foreign??? to me???#idk unless im like hyperfixating on a person which is awful and i never wanna do ever again for anybody around me's sake#like i guess i shouldn't make any decisions about my sexuality before ive been in at least one real meaningful relationship and but like#idk i really care about the guy i think i have feelings for i dont wanna pull any triggers unless i know it really is for me yanno?#like yea ive edated before and like no offence to ppl happily in an LDR online but#its just. different from an irl thing#and even then i was like 16 the last time i thought i had a crush on someone#and i know full well that 95% of my teenage 'crushes' were just me really liking a friend and thinking i wanted to date them#but like no i was just a jealous teenager and wanted my pals to hang out with me more than others LMAO
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hey if you ever feel like you're faking your pain/mental illness/any symptoms, or if you feel like no one understands or believes you. i do. i believe you. i love you and i hope you do what you can to take care of yourself <3
#i spent so so much of my life in pain or sick#and being told i was faking it#or being dramatic#or just acting out for attention#and it's crushing#but being around people who genuinely care about me#and them BELIEVING me#it's such a foreign feeling#but it's life saving#i believe you#thank you for believing me#mental health#mental health awareness#chronic illness#chronic pain#chronic fatigue#chronically ill#mental health positivity#positivity#not mlm#dantes talking again
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“haha odo is so beige and bland and boring despite being a literal shapeshifter” like ok yes I laugh at those jokes too and find them funny I literally have no issue with them but sometimes I also wanna talk about how that’s kind of the whole point of his character.
like odo’s abilities and way of being is so unlike any other known species in the alpha quadrant that it’s shown to be disturbing and off-putting to a lot of people — or at the very least that’s what he was led to believe. like we see this in the alternate where mora tries to convince him he’ll either be locked up in a prison or put in a zoo to gawk at if he’s perceived to have committed any sort of crime or transgression.
so despite being able to literally become anything he can think of, he chooses his default presentation to be as standard, bland and uninteresting as he possibly can. male, always in a beige uniform, very standard hair cut.
odo is so plain because he was made to be afraid of being literally anything else
#also obligatory “trans odo” ramble but yeah as a trans person this all really hits me#I didn’t really fully accept I was trans let alone come out until after high school and I feel like while everyone around me was#experimenting w style and fashion or whatever I just put on the most bland shit possible bc the thought of my appearance actually being able#to reflect the way I as a person feel always felt so foreign to me#anyways I love odo sm#odo#ds9#deep space nine#star trek#shut up abe
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watching Liam O'Brien do a spectacular fantasy!German for dozens of episodes has impressed me so much and yet nothing could have possibly prepared me for the man starting to sing, of all the songs, "Laurentia, liebe Laurentia mein"
the immersion! if you reached to the very back of my memory there'd be like ten folk songs there and this one, which we used to have to sing at 7:00 in the morning on choir retreats while doing squats for all the weekdays, would definitely be there. it's a silly ditty you've heard somehow exclusively in childhood, it's a little game song for children. If all else was tainted by your later life that song would probably survive, it's perfect
#it's also a really dumb song that you can use to make people learn the days of the week and probably the only one he knew but still!!!#like yeah the accent work is great#he's basically dead on on everything EXCEPT 'Scheiße' which is hilarious to me#but the overall mannerisms and stuff like the song is outstanding#and yeah the bar for foreigners doing a good german is... low#the bar for actual germans getting to play people that *feel* authentically german in foreign media is also low#but even outside of that i'm just delighted with caleb#critical role#liam o'brien#caleb widogast#the mighty nein#german
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#fucks me up that there are two whole new animals in the house that i barely know#who depend on me for everything#barely recognize me as a friend or helper#and are so incredibly incredibly fragile#i got worried for junie today because her spay incision had some swelling#and it's normal to have some and i have seen it before#but after what we just wemt through i got upset and rushed her to the vet#who said it was fine and thankfully we have free office visits#but i was so upset even though i knew it was probably normal#i look at them and i see adorable cuddly sweet TEMPORARY things and i feel like something inside me got broken somehow#and i was right all along that after it was all over i would come back but not quite as myself#i just hadn't fully understood the extent#we are keeping them and it sort of had to happen when it did but i think it was too early for me#they are so cute and when they do cuddle it's so sweet and obviously i would fight for them as hard as i would for Fancy#because that's just how the deal works and it isn't about you at all it's about how they each carry a little world inside them just as we d#and that deserves equal respect and care regardless of my personal affections#but i look at them and i see little creatures that don't belong here and are foreign in some fundamental way#and that they will be gone in just a little while and things will go back to how they were#which is impossible#we will settle in and i doubt anything i am feeling is abnormal but I'm really struggling and i feel so bad about that#i don't know#it's just a lot to deal with#and i feel very lonely and sad about it#and under it all the sick feeling of having JUST held all three lads as they passed and the VISCERAL reality of it#and knowing one day if everything goes just right i will be holding them too#dear god life is so fragile and every living thing is just as mortal as any other
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How does it feel to both be invaders of the same corpse?
#I'm thinking of them#my art#art#avis's doodles#danganronpa#danganronpa goodbye despair#hajime hinata#izuru kamukura#sdr2 spoilers#ok so like. the Hajime wr know is literally just a... reconstruction of the original Hajime who was destroyed during the Kamakura project#so he kind of is like kamakura. a foreign entity placed into hinata's body by a group wanting to spread hope#hajime isn't real. i feel like he might think that. he's no different from alter ego... or junkos ai#idk they got me thinking#very quick doodle
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been sitting with a half filled mail in ballot in my room for a week now mulling over who tf to vote for. ive got people online claiming that theyre fine with genocide overseas as long as kamala can maintain trans rights, and we're two weeks from the election and she's saying she won't even fight to restore trans bans in any state because we should "follow" the law?? i dont want any fucking person to tell me that voting for this woman will help me or my communities in anyway. if she loses, this isn't the fault of non-voters, this is the fault of a so-called "progressive" party making their case as morally "better" than republicans on the basis that they haven't built their own wall YET, or that at the very least they aren't immediately wiping out an entire ethnic population....you're all fucking freaks. I don't want MY RIGHTS at the cost of palestinian life??? this makes me want to vote third party even more cause there's no way I can sleep at night knowing I voted for someone who gives absolutely no shit about what the majority of the US population agrees on (weapons embargo, gender-affirming care, healthcare expansion, student loan forgiveness, increase in wages). i would rather spend my time ruminating over my ballot with people who make me feel safe and seen and who are working on building tools and supports within our greater community. i have a privilege to be so over this, but myself and other marginalized people deserve to voice our criticisms and concerns without being shamed into making a decision. shaming people to fall in line on an election where they don't feel protected regardless of the outcome will force people to become more disillusioned...and i dont fucking blame them for being more disillusioned either.
#nothing feels right nothing feels right#dont come at me with a harm reduction mentality#there is no harm reduction here#its literally just a matter of who you prefer in office#the overt genocide lover or the covert whos not actually covert genocide lover#these two candidates are virtually the same on domestic and foreign policy
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Don't mind me just
Smacks Gregory over the head with burnt out gifted kid syndrome™
#am i self projecting?#nooooo#okay maybe a little#but just hear me out i could do a whole ass ramble about how this could work#Gregory putting a fuckton of pressure on himself to be perfect to uphold the reputation of the 4.0 gpa hes oh so proud of#so hes determined to be perfect at everything even if that means overworking himself to achive the results#you could even make the argument that his parents expect him to be some sort of prodigy or smth if you wanna go that route#so because of their expectations or (what he interprets as) the expectations of his peers he just puts more pressure on himself and#FUCKKK SOMEONE TELL HIM ITS OKAY TO MAKE MISTAKES PLEASE PLEA SE#ack sorry im rambling here but yeee#i guess you could say they have great expecta-💥💥💥#okay now im done#sorry if this ramble seems ooc or smth just#hell yeahhh pushing my feelings onto a fictional character to cope :'D#South park#south park headcanon#i need to make a tag for my own headcanons tbh#Gregory of yardale#sp gregory#sp foreign kids
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Can’t wait to visit Iraq and just live blog from there. That will be so fun
#My Iraqi girl era will be THE era of all eras#Like ill probably post the same shit but I feel like it’ll be different when im actually in Baghdad and#Living in the culture vs talking about it#It’ll probably get lost in translation bc I have maybe 7-10 Arab mutuals total but idc this is for me#Plus I feel like I center my American identity a lot so it’ll be nice to be in my Iraqi bag idk#I lowkey feel like im too American for some of my relatives and also some of the locals bc I get told I give#“Foreigner vibes” (what)#But I also genuinely think I blend into it seamlessly too like on my last trip it wasn’t a struggle at all#Like I speak Arabic fine and Baghdad feels like home to me even if I wasn’t raised there#Maybe I dress more western idk I was just in jeans and casual tops most of that trip#I did have issues w what clothes to wear but that’s bc I couldn’t wear my regular shit back there which is fine#It was a grwat time overall I miss everyone I miss the capital
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well looks like im never leaving california! if any of u guys need reproductive healthcare i will house all of you im not even playing
#this is just the tip of the iceberg too like there is a literal genocide happening right now and the fact that its not a dealbreaker for#ANYONE pisses me the fuck off#my best friend is palestinian and its very jarring to see news outlets not even bother to MENTION the genocide rn#'foreign affairs' like ok kys#HOW DID WE LET THIS HAPPEEENN#harris pisses me the fuck off bc she went around parading right winged policies to appeal to republicans#instead of actually building a strong foundation#-> but yeah sure lets waste our fucking time trying ro pay celebs to endorse u!#'kamala is brat! KYS KYS KYS I FUCKING HATE YOU LOT LIKE PLEASE GET SO REAL#i hope they all feel like some fucking clowns rn#i feel siccckkkkkkkk#also im sorry nonamerican followers for americanizing your feeds but#ive been radicalized since i was like 9#AND i studied social/political documentary and film in university#so boy do i have a fucking lot to say abt the state of the world rn!!!!!!!
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"But if we dont get reblogs and likes than why bother creating at all" Did you never doodle in your notebook in class. Did you never have a notebook of cringe doodles you never wanted people to see but got filled anyway. Was this never something you did because it was a tool of personal comfort.
#t.extpost#like i get wanting the attention god i get that drive too#but its this complete absence of like#personal stake? the doing it just to do it? that baffles me#Like i drew long before i was even allowed to have a computer and long before I had an art account and long before i#could stand having other people see most of it#Like it was something done for personal comfort and enjoyment long before the idea of being praised was ever a possibility#like hell i avoided any sort of art major or 'career' out of fear that it would suck the joy out of something i did for myself#and i still get artblock or down and what have you but ultimately people paying attention has never been the goal#so this absolute 'if it wasnt for others it wouldnt exist' mindset feels so foreign#like sure part of it but all?#also this is non rebloggable because it is personal musing and i truely do not wish to fight w/ others over the idea of what#is the right way to be validated as an artist
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my favourite writing device is having an un-Rei-liable narrator
#rei#volo#cheren#// tikposting#// character meta#the crowd booes me off the stage#forgive the pun XDDD his name is too easy to pun on#the way i write it it's not a conscious choice. it's just how the pov character (rei) experiences and contextualises the world#revealing backstory and personality and mindset through narration !!!!#not necessarily out of malice it's just. how he views things#interpreting new and foreign experiences through the lens of what came before...#conversations which read differently to different people.#in the context of rei that's stuff like unease around authority figures#always choosing his words carefully to project an image of competence (he has to be needed)#distrust and not taking things at face value but also paradoxically a fragile and nurtured sense of almost blind optimism#when it comes to friendships. like volo. (everyone turned on me when the sky turned red but it all resolved itself in the end didn't it?)#(what makes this different? / a lot of things. / i choose to believe)#volo [directly]: “i won't be stopped from my goal” rei thoughts: we can work with this!!!!#and everything with Arceus too and his divine blessings and a plan that will work out in the end#if Rei can just... figure out what part he's meant to play. interpreting events as a narrative hurtling towards some unknown conclusion#i am talking about rei here specifically but this writing device is so good in general#would be fun to try get inside volo's head. there's so much going on there i don't understand yet#quite fond of that one analysis post about how volo lacks emotional intelligence and sees relationships as transactions#not necessarily out of malice it's just how he views things. whether because of past experience or brain chemistry#also need to give a shout to cheren my guy who is an outsider pov who projects his own experiences onto new things so that he Understands#(an outsider to Hilbert and N's clash of truth and ideals. life changing experience and knowledge but felt just a little off to the left)#(the narrative repeated again with new heroes. all he can do is help them but it falls on their shoulders in the end)#(no wonder he tries to insert himself into Situations)#anyway tag ramble over feel free to also ramble to me about your takes XD#rei pokemon
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It looks like Ivan is standing with his back to the gate initially, but there aren't any trees in front of the gate so he must've been standing to the side. Only when Till passed him does it seem like he was actually in front of the gate so I wonder when Till approached him did Ivan turn to face him because he thought Till was coming to talk to him? lol
#getting your hopes up little man? (same bruh same)#also#if ivan planned the whole waygein thing. how. just how.#were mizi and till playing and when they lost their flowers so they both ran after it?#doesnt make much sense though since it seems as though mizi was there first#and till and ivan came in after#can ivan control the wind?#none of this makes sense#alien stage#alnst till#alnst ivan#alien stage till#alien stage ivan#alnst#oH WAIT#what if mizi went in there for the flowers and till happened to do the same for his own by coincidence#ivan couldve stopped him if he knew about the wagyein#and uhh he didnt for some reason? he's a bad boy he did some bad things and just did it all for fun like it meant nothing?#shitty ass kid making my brain fry#sorry if this is badly worded sometimes english feels foreign to me but im also just dumb
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My boyfriend (a straight, cis man) just told me that he watched Glass Onion yesterday after I recommended it to him, and then had the AUDACITY to ask me how I know that Benoit Blanc is gay and Hugh Grant is his live-in boyfriend?
Like???? The sky is blue, babe, just gotta open your eyes!!!
For the record, Benoit Blanc: 1. Wears those funky little suits with stripes and patterns and the little scarves. Have you ever seen straight men wear anything that fun and fruity? Or accessorize said no-fun outfits? No, you haven't. 2. Avoids Birdie, a conventionally attractive woman, heavily flirting with him, like the effing Bubonic Plague. 3. Takes long baths in the tub with cute little rubber duckies and soap. FRUITY. 4. Has NO REACTION other than a polite little cough to getting liquid shot down his throat!!!!! 5. HUGH GRANT IS IN HIS HOUSE COVERED IN FLOUR! JFC THEY'RE NOT JUST ROOMMATES!!!
#benoit blanc#glass onion#knives out#daniel craig#Honestly I have no idea how straight men think#is subtext a foreign concept#is this how it feels to have all your ships be explicitly announced in media???????#how have you never waited for years for crumbs of interaction#honestly I ship Destiel subtext is my life#also johnlock#merthur#wolfstar#Bechloe#THE LIST GOES ON!!!!#like you gonna tell me satosugu isn't real just because they don't explicitly call e/o boyfriend?!#ffs i shipped helen and peg in this movie for a hot minute THAT is how deep into the subtext closet i am#sigh
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The past couple days online have been... interesting. I consider myself a leftist, think capitalism is corrupt, and think that it needs to be seriously reformed/overthrown. I admit that while I've thrown around phrases and terms like "burn it all down" and "the revolution needs to come" out of frustration without actually thinking about what a revolution entails: excellent organization, unity, and strategy to defeat the United States, the world's largest military superpower which has inflicted political and social destabilization across the majority of countries around the world. There also needs to be superb infrastructure and community to support the disabled, elderly, and poor populations who rely on government assistance and programs, healthcare, and accommodations while this so-called revolution rages on.
All I've received from the far leftist movement are lectures from condescending intellectuals who rattle off academic citations regarding ideological theory rather than practical, tangible steps to advocate for change in our local and regional communities. I have not seen one of them actually discuss conversations they've had with their friends, family, or Americans about what they want to see reflected for the future of the country. I have not seen one of them discussed how destructive, detrimental and traumatic a Trump presidency was for social prejudice and morale in the United States. I understand that for many marginalized groups they've been living in a facist state for centuries so the possibility Project 2025 doesn't galvanize them to see the two parties differently, but I don't think it is fair to white leftists falsely equivocate the election of both parties for the entire American population at all??? Or like at least specify the issues you're referring to in which you view both parties as the same????? Literally one TikTok creator who I used to follow talked about how true leftists are so much better than liberals because they aren't waiting for a presidential candidate to save the world NOW due to the accelerated apocalypse due to climate change but when asked how to change the world they suggest sharing ideas of your future utopia with other leftist groups. How the fuck is sitting around talking about living in a walkable community is great considered "saving the world now"? How are you going to dismantle and restructure American infrastructure to create these communities? How are you going to remove existing racial and social tensions to create a community where everyone lives happily side by side? Do people not consider reality at all?????
And is it not wrong for people to have a fucking sliver of optimism and hope at incremental change that's achieved within the corrupt bipartisan system of American politics, even if they know it's propaganda??? Is it wrong for people to have a singular fucking moment of relief in feeling like their values, beliefs, and lives will be better protected and THEY can advocate for change better??? Is it wrong when there's a couple months until the most pressing election in recent history for people to make the choice they feel will reduce the most amount of harm???
#literally i've seen some leftists post like the people in the us could never handle the torture that the us inflicts in other countries#like seriously what the actual fuck do you not think most people are struggling here and dying of preventable diseases and being subjected#to hate crimes mental health crisis systemic racism sexism etc.#why the fuck arent you actually helping your community and helping them see how foreign and domestic policy are tied instead of screaming#like so much of this virtue signaling and not being grounded in reality drives me crazy#and im fucking tired of not being allowed to feel happiness about anything unless it's morally socially perfect how the fuck are we suppose#to move the needle if we never fucking feel happy????? like what after your disorganized revolution the way your room is disorganized i can#be happy that i live in a perfect utopia?? NO! that's not how the fucking world works get a grip#i never believed in working within the system but at least other more reasonable leftists have offered tangible solutions to sway politicia#in our favor and retain a little bit of our rights#like this one woman was saying union organizers align themselves with democrats strategically not because they agree with the party but#so that democrats will count on their vote and money and in turn advocate for union rights#like i feel like a far leftist would be like omg how dare you align with the democrats!!! but like honey!!! what the fuck are we supposed t#do??? stick our fucking nose up at the current political system unless we get everything we want to move the party further to the right and#then wake up one day and realize because we were waiting for a perfect system all our fucking rights are gone?????#bffr#i know i am going to lose all of my followers for this post#grace rants#politics#donald trump#kamala harris#joe biden#jd vance#project 2025#2024 elections#also to be clear this is what i feel right now because of the delayed discussion of far-leftism and options and campaigning for candidates#if leftists actually get together and UNIFY and fucking do something i'll consider inching forward to the revolution#but screaming the system is corrupt without giving people solutions or action steps and just giving them severe anxiety is unhelpful
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