#but also definitely not the same thing
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((Estin seems to control all functions of the Flyheight. Any changes to the ship that aren’t aesthetic go through him. While underway he almost never comes up to the decks exposed to the air. Though at low speeds just as the ship is docking he will frequently do so, just to make the dock clean.
Estin also does all the major repairs of the ship. Sometimes the rest of the crew helps. But frequently they identify the problem, clear debris and then Estin just says ‘I’ll fix it’s and does when nobody is looking.
Flynt says he came with the ship. Or arguably the ship came with him and some guests to the ship may never see Estin leave the ship. He does occasionally leave. He rarely goes far however and only while the ship is in dock or at anchor. Once Flynt and Seravin swore he rode an inner tube from the point the ship was anchored to a nearby island shore about 10 ship lengths away. But he also seemed to be asleep, and almost seemed to teleport back. Flynt and Seravin may have untied the rope keeping him close. Though they swear it was an accident.
Estin has final say on the exact coordinates the Flybeight goes too, but he seems to prefer environments that the crew enjoys (warm tropical areas) to areas technically more treasure laden for a first jump. This may be because in warmer weather the female members of the crew forgo underwear almost universally, although he claims the ships hull takes cold shock poorly and does best with gradual temperature changes from fairly warm temperatures. He very rarely breaks this rule and always seems a little worse the first time he does so in a while. Like he has a cold or something.))
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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(The rest is under the readmore!)
(Next part) ->
#breaking news: local man is confronted with the fact that if he uses dumb contests as an excuse to avoid emotional vulnerability —#then his partner is going to do the exact same thing lol#also covid update: I had a bit of a relapse and have been completely stuck in bed again the last couple days#am still definitely doing better than before but remain very very fatigued#apparently changing my bedsheets was a little much for me lol#anyway thank you to the people who have sent in asks the last couple days!! I am very excited to get to them#I just had to get this self indulgent comic out of my system first lololol#bsd#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#soukoku#skk#bungou stray dogs#my art
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this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...
#and also. not the direct focus. but love doesn't make things good. you can be in love and do terrible terrible things.#people do bad things in the name of love and in despite of love all the time.#but!! imagine a world where people could exist as people and not be demonized.#sex positivity means being cool about All sex. reexamine your internal systems of moral judgement.#this goes for sex workers. for aroallo people. especially aroallo men. for aro people in general who might enjoy sex.#and frankly i think it can easily bleed into discussions about mental health disorders around 'not feeling' certain things#especially demonizing ppl who don't feel as much empathy. i think there's definitely a correlation between that and the emphasis on love.#our support needs to go out to Everybody and i think these things are all structured together in one way or another!!#it might not be immediately obvious but when i tell you it all leads back to amatonormativity..... little bit wild.... large bit wild....#anyway. horror movie psychopath 'oh he can't feel emotions or love' damn alright. well. let's take a closer look at that.#silly that there's an association between lack of love and Murdering. feel like that might affect some stuff.#love is just an emotion/a feeling it doesn't mean anything about you one way or another#same with empathy. you can feel it all you want but it doesn't inherently change the actions you choose to take#anyway. thesis statement. there is a socially constructed link between love and morality. unlearn that.#kiss kiss (<— lovelessly)#aromantic#aromanticism#arospec#talking#aroace#aspec#sex positivity
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Finally managed to record a bit of David at curtain call 😍
Brilliant seeing this incredible production once again - and getting to see what's different and what isn't 🥹🥰
(Please don't repost ☺️)
#david tennant#west end macbeth#macbeth#Completely failed to record my own videos at the Donmar#since I couldn't get myself to just hold up a camera in their faces rather than joining in on the clapping#so also didn't record the whole thing this time but at least a bit of it ❤️#and ah the handle is from twitter 🙈#also I really need to learn to make better gifs and/or video edits because the quality definitely looks better on my phone than this 🙈#Edit: Looks like he has tried not to kick as high this week from what I have seen 🥺#I hope that's just random and not because they saw the photos and videos and were like maybe try not to show too much#Because my main reason for uploading this was just that he's absolutely adorable and such a delight to watch 🥹#and it's not like there's actually anything to see besides the shorts and his knees which are on full display throughout anyway#and will probably be on display for the filmed version as well#So hope it's just that either I haven't seen any videos from the same angle or it's just random how he ends up doing it#please keep up with the cute twirl and kick DT ❤️
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One thing I've been asked a few times: Did the mountain happen for bear!Jaskier?
It did, but Jaskier stood his ground! And not with 'Burn Butcher, burn' afterwards.
#jaskier#geraskier#geralt of rivia#the witcher#song: the ballad of lucy gray baird#bear!jaskier#witcher!jaskier#Jaskier is not taking that much shit from Geralt! their relationship is different here#(since this is already an established relationship)#but also because Jaskier is older and more experienced#(it still hurts tho)#but I think it does change things in their relationship that in this 'verse Jaskier experiences time in the same way that Geralt does#I think human Jaskier felt the weight of the years he spent at Geralts side much more in this scene#and the unrequited feelings!#(S3 Jaskier can shut his lying liar mouth he was definitely in love at this point look at what he says but then what he SINGS how he acts!!#but since this is an established relationship - the drop is not THAT bad#Jaskier is more resigned than anything else#geralt is hard nut to crack emotionally
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@somerandomdudelmao OH COME ON
Song : Unfair [edit audio]
#I MUST HAVE BEEN ASLEEP#BUT I ALWAYS MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE BY OPENING TUMBLR WHEN YOU DEFINITELY GONNA UPDATE#DONNIE ONLY STARTED LOOKING LIKE#OKAY#BUT AHAHGHAHAA LOOK LEO HE HAD A ROBOT AND YOU COULD SAVE RAPH FUNNY STORY YES??#ALSO THIS THING DIDN'T WANT TO UPLOAD#IT'S MY ANGER PUSHING IT#OKAY NOW SLEEP#cass fanart tag#animation tag#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the turtles#rise of the tmnt#future donnie#future leo#MMMMMMMMMMMM F***
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This will sound like I’m sucking my own dick but when I’m done with someone it usually is for very very very good reason bc it takes me a lot to break it off w anyone in my life. Like to a fault. Like I will cling on to things that have long passed their expiration date. So maybe this year it’s time to learn that if I’m at a breaking point w someone maybe that’s for the best and I shouldn’t spend weeks grieving them and introspecting and journaling about them when they haven’t held themselves accountable in all the time I’ve known them
#Like I’m over here with 60 journal entries ab how someone made me feel#When that same person hasn’t even taken the time to acknowledge very obvious things they could’ve definitely tried more on#I say this EVERY time but I am no saint#But I’m also not whatever this is idk I deserve better
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Prompt 252
“Sir, we’ve… There’s been an encounter with a Reaper class entity.”
There were several classifications for ecto-entities. Several ways the Ghost Investigation Ward classified each. Several common ones that they could easily destroy, easily study. Others however… others were dangerous. Incredibly dangerous.
There’d only been two other Reaper-class entities confirmed before- both contained but barely. RP-1, a large knight-like entity seemingly made from shadows, and RP-2, a child-like creature that could near perfectly mimic a human.
And now, there was a third. A third entity that could- and judging from the reports coming in had- killed. Had done so several times even. Which meant it needed to be contained yesterday.
“Send out the teams- I want this thing in Site X Now!”
#DCxDP#DPxDC#Prompts#Why yes the Reaper entity is Jason#The other two are Fright Knight & Danny#There’s only 1 higher level of threat/rarity for ghosts#King Class is what CW & Pariah are classed as & the GIW are very relieved they seemingly can’t leave the Zone#Y’know I’m just realizing this feels very SCP-esque#Look it’s called the Ghost Investigation Ward#They definitely don’t care about dissecting things like blob ghosts (or common ghosts they’re sure there’s thousands of)#But it’s similar to an endangered predatory species for the rarer ones#They just also don’t like release the ghosts after relocating them#Why Yes Jason DOES have the All-blades#And yes they’re all three in the same place because the site is the only one they know can hold them#Shadow Core Fright Knight#Space Core Danny#Star Core Jason#Jason is… displeased by the entire situation he’s found himself in#Also very pissed by the Tiny sickly child huddled under the growling shadow-fire being#FK deserves to be more eldritch I’ll be honest#Halfa Jason#Potentially#guys in white#de aged danny#technically he just had his accident earlier
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chat if i may speak
#marvel cinematic universe#mcu#xmen#x2 xmen united#xmen the last stand#xmen dofp#magneto#erik lehnsherr#snap sketches#i love the old people !!!!!!#highkey though old people are prob my fave subjects to draw ..#theres just so much line definition- i feel more confident drawing them and saying 'yeah that looks like them'#tho i also feel this way with people/characters who have really defined features and shapes ..... most curious !!!#anyways. i gave him extensions vjalkjlkaejAELJ#long-hair erik is important to me and i simply Had To See with ian mckellens face#at the same time something isnt right ... i cant explain it... im not gonna sit on this any longer tho this just a quick thing vjlkalk#when i inevitably draw older movie erik again ill prob go back to his short hair but i may be subjected to a treat. just this once#i dont wanna drive. totally unrelated. im going home for the weekend and i live so FAR from my dorm i hate it here (no i dont)#i just hate driving VJELAVJAE#whatever its the weekend which means more time for xmen brainrot#i just started S3 of 92 !!!!! in theory im halfway done with the series but S3 is also 26 episodes compared to the previous 13 vjeALVKEJ#OH WELL. im gonna go now i have to start driving at some point i GUESS#i just wanted to leave the people with a silly thing </3 ok bye bye#i have a silly comic planned with younger cherik so heres to hoping i do that !!! it's stupid but funny. i hope#ok bye bye now Truly
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Twins <3
#hoof draws#ingo would also definitely try to get things from a high shelf if emmet couldn't do it tho#the need to be older brother overrides the fact that they're the same height
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Link to original video in replies.
[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]
stitched creator: keep Palestinians' names out of your mouth when you're trying to defend your decision for voting for Kamala--
bigzaiire: I'm starting to see a lot of these videos coming out and I feel like someone really really has to speak on it, so I'm going to. And I'm gonna tell this with all my due respect -- Palestine is not the only country that's dealing with genocide right now.
I am from Congo in case you cannot tell, I'm from Congo, okay? We are also dealing with genocide in Congo. In fact, the genocide in Congo has been going for way longer than the genocide in Palestine. The genocide in Congo has made 8 millions of victims. 8 millions.
And you might wonder, why am I making this video? Well, I am making this video because I'm going to support Vice President Kamala. 100% I'm going to. And I'm going to tell you why I'm going to support Vice President Kamala.
Listen to me. This is one of the Congolese genocide enabler. His name is Dan Getler. This guy is an Israeli billionaire who owns mines in Congo. This guy was sanctioned in 2017 by President Barack Obama for corrupt and illegal mining.
Listen very carefully. He was sanctioned by Obama. Obama is a Democrat. Okay?
This dude got reinstated. Someone gave him his money back. Someone gave him his money back. Do you know who did that?
Donald Trump.
Donald Trump gave him [Israeli billionaire Dan Getler] his money back. It was one of the very last thing he did as a president was to give this guy his money back.
And do you know who sanctioned this guy again?
President Biden.
President Biden sanctioned him again. So currently, this person [Israeli billionaire Dan Getler] does not have his money. All the money, all the illegal money he made in Congo -- he does not have it right now. Because of President Biden.
So one thing I know for sure, one thing I know for sure: Vice President Kamala, she's not going to let this guy get his money back. And another thing that I know for sure is that if Trump gets back in office, Trump is going to reinstate this guy. Trump is going to give him his money back.
How do you think Israel is getting all the money? Because of this guy. He's one of the people who are giving money is Israel. So if you want to stop this guy -- hmm? -- from getting his money back and potentially giving that money to Israel, make sure that Trump does not make it.
Now let's be real for a second. Because I feel like a lot of people don't take this part in consideration. Listen.
A lot of people have lost their jobs for supporting Palestine.
A lot of content creators got their account banned for supporting Palestine.
A lot of people got hurt physically for protesting for Palestine.
A lot of people have ruined their relations with their families and friends simply because they were on the side of Palestine.
So if you're going to tell all these people who have sacrificed so much for your cause that they are wrong for choosing a candidate who's going to preserve their rights in their own country, then I'm sorry to tell you this, but you are being both ungrateful and disingenuous.
[END TRANSCRIPT]
#leftist hypocrisy#election 2024#us elections#kamala harris#Put on your own oxygen mask first#You cannot fight for others' rights if you lose your own#Every viable candidate for president by definition will work WITHIN the system#And that's not necessarily a bad thing#I'm really tired of hearing that working within the system cannot produce change#It can and does - it's just not flashy quick or easy#If you want to work outside the system to effect change you also need help setting this up within the system#So vote for the candidate who is most likely to listen and act on the change you're seeking#because if you're refusing to vote or voting third party because you're waiting on a revolution to happen like it's the fucking rapture#all you're actually doing is enabling and prolonging the very same atrocities you claim to champion
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VOX, Media Overlord | 1x02 - Radio Killed The Video Star
"[He's] up in his tower waiting for a flat-faced prince to calm him down."
#hazbin hotel#vox#hazbin vox#vox hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel vox#requested#hazbin hotel edit#hazbin edit#my gifs#radio killed the video star#Certified Redemption ☑︎#oh yes. definitely gonna do more of him. he's tricky but doable#he's a fun challenge. it's tough to keep his bright colors bright and saturated#while at the same time not oversaturating him#cuz if i don't recolor at all he comes out BLAND and boring#but if i saturate him even a little then he can oversaturate and then the image quality is MURDERED IN COLD BLOOD bc#the higher the saturation and contrast = the worse the quality gets. which is funny cuz this show is all high sat and contrast LMAO#but i'm making him work. got a decent recipe for him so far. i'll keep playing with him cuz wow his shots are so NICE#like sure his two colors contrast a lot but at least they're FLAT for the most part. so that helps a lot in the color tables#character spotlight#also it's weird...#usually i have a thing for pathetic bi men but somehow vox didn't trigger the awooga cortex in my brain. wonder if/when that'll change 🤔#i think i'm too busy simping for vaggie and husk to give him attention rn is all kjsdhfljsdhjfkhs#flashing gif#flickering gif
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Imagine looking at a character whose entire premise is that in every stage of his life, he's made every version of himself into someone that inspires people to such a degree that EVERY SINGLE VERSION OF HIM has people wanting to literally follow in his footsteps in some way or another.....
And coming to the conclusion that like.....the most important things about him are the sum of all his trappings. His entirely homemade developed from scratch could not exist if not for what he already was and brought with him BEFORE crafting this newest version of himself trappings, with his greatest trait throughout all of it being his adaptability; his ability and willingness to roll with the punches and not try to simply weather any opposition or changes to his life but instead reshape himself as needed to better fit INTO whatever new shape his life and the world around him takes. All while managing to carry the most innate, fundamental and necessary aspects of himself from one version to the next. Thus every single version of himself is different but simultaneously every single version of himself is also undeniably the same person.
The strength of this character, to me, will always be that he can be so many versions of himself, he can become so many things, all without ever actually losing or discarding any of the aspects of himself he considers most essential, the things he's not willing to lose or give up just to keep going. Finding that road not taken by most, usually because most never even think to look for it as an option. But one that he's always able to find because the one trick he's mastered in his tumultuous life is threading that needle of not just digging in his heels in an unproductive way but rather being selective about when and where he makes a stand and decides "this is not a thing I'm willing to compromise about" but here are places and ways I can and will change and evolve and adapt in order to make it possible for me to hold onto these parts and keep them as they are.
And that's why its always so mind-boggling to me that so many writers can't seem to think of anything else to do with Dick Grayson other than invent some new reason for him to just....not be that person, or to like just take the character whose most basic fundamental trait he's NOT about to compromise on is willingly giving up his spot in the driver's seat of his own life.....and make him just a passenger in his own life and stories.
Dick Grayson at age nine....at age nineteen...at age twenty nine....the one core thread running through all versions of him is the only way he's standing back and letting you call the shots for him or putting him on the sidelines in some way is over his dead body.
HOW he goes about that, what that looks like, who he becomes and what aspects of himself he plays up at some times and what traits he lets fall by the wayside at other times when they offer less in service to his primary goal here....that changes constantly. He changes constantly.
But those changes are almost always (or at least they used to be/should be IN MY OPINION) made with the intention of keeping certain things about him or his life as consistent as possible.
That's the duality of Dick Grayson that I'm here for. The inherent contradiction of him that COULD allow for endless conflict and breaking new narrative ground in all sorts of ways if mined properly:
His eternal willingness to compromise....but only ever in pursuit of doubling down on the ways he's not willing to compromise.
Forever walking that tightrope in ways that only a kid born and raised in a circus could ever hope to.
#see also: my grinding teeth when people disparage his circus origins#like the only thing its good for is colorful backstory and explaining his acrobatics#THERES. SO. MUCH. THERE.#theres so much EVERYWHERE in every aspect of his backstory and his preexisting comics and yet over and over we get#....what if we just ignored all that and did what the fuck ever as though this character has nothing integral to him or fundamental to say#to be fair my gripes with Taylor are not exactly interchangeable with my gripes with the previous runs#but I lump him in as an extension of them because while evocative of different SIDES of my ennui with these takes on Dick.....#the thing about Taylor's stuff to me (or the parts I read at least) is that its generic as hell while only retaining superficial elements#of Dick's character and stories in order to point to them and say see these are definitely about Dick Grayson. like....only in very surface#level ways. underneath that theyre basically generic superhero adventures that could easily be retooled to be about a pretty sizable number#of other characters. tbh with the whole alfred inheritance thing it honestly felt from the get go#that Taylor was more interested in writing a kinder gentler Batman like a Bruce from one of the animated shows like#The Brave and the Bold who gets along better with everyone else. even the way the Brave and the Bold largely exists to use Batman's#popularity as a star vehicle to platform his co-superhero for the episode lends itself to Taylor's approach in his NW run#with the central figure - only nominally DG imo - basically existing as a platform allowing for the drafting of any other character he want#to write in any given arc or story in a similar way to how Bruce is utilized in Brave and the Bold#anyway. idk idk. my issues with Taylor are not the same as the others exactly but also they are and also I just plain dont like the guy#so I complain about him at any given opportunity even when its not technically as accurate or relevant as it possibly could be#I Am Flawed. its fine though dont worry about it. its called being nuanced
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Hey haha what if the first place Leo got zapped to in the universe was a barren wasteland with low gravity that reminded him of the Prison Dimension? What if he didn’t know if he’d accidentally got sent back there somehow and panicked?
Then when he tries portaling again and lands somewhere else he’s relieved for all of two seconds before the reality of his situation hits him and he realizes he doesn’t know how to get back home? So essentially the worst thing about the Prison Dimension (his isolation) was happening again? Haha what then?
#rise comic spoilers#tmnt 40th anniversary#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#rottmnt headcanons#I’m gonna be very annoying about this plot point for a while sorry#honestly whether or not time dilation occurred him ‘bouncing around the universe’ implies physical destinations#so imo he definitely had to survive alone for some time at least even if it turns out not to have been the months it was on earth#I’m also a staunch believer of this happening a year to almost two years post movie#the boys look too young to be older than that and splinter looked the exact same too so#luckily this comic is vague enough about these things that you can come up with your own inbetweens
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for writing game, iwaizumi + assistance <3
hope this sparks some inspo and thank you in advancee
hi there!! thanks for sending in a prompt 🫶
contains: friends to lovers (ish), halloween parties, reader is dressed as catwoman, expletives, iwaizumi is thiiiiis 🤏 close to murdering seijoh4 (jk)
iwaizumi + assistance
this is a set-up.
iwaizumi knows he shouldn't have fucking believed anything the boys "promised" him back when they assigned him this costume.
the suit is fucking tight, spandex digging into his groins and all other crevices that definitely should be aired out after after a few hours. he's had to constantly readjust his stance almost every few minutes, the black fabric compressing his thighs and torso, significantly constricting the range of motion his shoulders and arms are typically used to. if anything else, it could double up as a back brace from how rigidly straight it's kept his posture all night.
he'll give it to makki though; he did outdo himself sourcing this year's costumes―this batman set looks pretty damn legit.
except for one tiny problem.
there's no fucking pee hole. it's a zip-up, zip-down one-piece situation. and that normally wouldn't be a problem, except that oikawa "accidentally" knocked over a cocktail straight into his pants, the sickeningly sweet liquid now seeping straight into the fabric and past his boxers―cold and sticky as it touches his skin.
and so, the problem: his pants are wet, it makes him want to fucking pee, and coincidentally, the only vacant bathroom is across the hall, at your apartment.
this is why he believes this is a set up. that, and the fact that you're dressed in an outfit strikingly similar―just with cat ears.
he's been asked five times in this party if you're in matching couple outfits.
it catches him off guard, flusters him because of how badly he wants to say yes. but, you're just friends, and he doesn't even think you like him that way (despite mattsun and oikawa practically begging him to confess. makki tells him he thinks you're going to do it first).
so he politely smiles and says no, but you look good, your costume clinging to you in all the right places. thank fucking god he has a cape because he's pretty sure he spent the first 30 minutes in the party hiding his boner.
"hajime, it's fine, i swear," you stand beside him in front of the conveniently locked bathroom in oikawa's apartment. from the other side of the door, he's pretty sure he hears mattsun and his girlfriend mumbling. maybe fucking? who knows. "you can just use the bathroom in my apartment."
he glances at you before closing his eyes, contemplating, before finally agreeing to you.
"okay."
if he's being honest with himself, friends is definitely an incomplete label to what you are. as oikawa's neighbor, you are conveniently around all the time; and oikawa being oikawa, the ever-social butterfly, he's somehow managed to carve a space for you in the friend group.
(never mind the fact that oikawa's sniffed him out from the moment he first introduced you.)
you were a crush, then a friend, and now you're someone he picks up from work and drives back home three times a week, because he "has to train oikawa." you don't question it, even when you both know he stays over for dinner way past the gym's open hours.
"you know where it is," you open your apartment and urge him in.
"sorry again," he turns to face you.
"yeah, yeah, just pee!" you laugh, shoving him towards the bathroom door.
getting out of the suit is manageable, and he's able to wipe off a bit of the cocktail that's leaked to the suit and his boxers just to make sure it isn't gross and sticky when he gets home later. peeing is a big relief once he gets it over with, but it's when he has to suit up again that things become difficult.
stretching out the spandex one body part at a time is a workout in itself―the hardest task being when he has to pull it over his shoulders, adjusting it to fit properly over his arms and chest.
but then the zipper breaks.
and he truly thinks makki has fucked him over.
iwaizumi contemplates what to do next for a good, good while. he tries calling oikawa, only to no success every time; no way in hell is he calling mattsun in the middle of having sex. and calling makki isn't even an option; he'd never hear the end of it.
then you knock on the door, your voice soft and concerned as you ask, "hajime? you good in there?" you hit it spot on, too, "do you need help with your suit?"
iwaizumi presses his palms to his eyes. he's a rational man, straightforward and logical in thinking. there is literally no other option for him right now but to ask help from you. again.
fuck.
.
it's 30 minutes later when oikawa barges in your door, and the sight that greets him is iwaizumi in nothing but a hoodie (the hoodie you borrowed some time ago) and his boxers, with his hands on your waist as you hover your hairdryer over the crotch of his batman costume―cat headpiece off and all.
"you finally got together?!"
#iwaizumi x reader#hq!! x reader#shotorus.workbook#omg i hope u enjoyed this!! i had fun thinking it up ehehe and writing it#in my mind this is set in the same universe as the halloween one i did for mattsun―actually its the same party HABFHBSF#some stuff about the fic: iwaizumi is hot in that costume i spared the details bc i was going to combust MYSELF#but it clings to his muscles REAAAAAAL good and there's really not a lot of padding in the costume itself#bc makki believes in iwaizumi's anatomy enough to deliver#what happened in between iwaizumi asking for help and oikawa barging in??? we may never know 🤷♀️ kidding !#i just didnt write it in bc it would be too long but#if anyone is curious maybe i'll write it as a separate thing!#other stuff abt the fic: reader became good friends with oikawa first bc neighbors but then oikawa admittedly wanted to play matchmaker#so he invited reader a ton to their group things so he could introduce em to iwaizumi HAHA and iwaizumi crushed hard#they become close pretty quickly too hence why reader calls him hajime HAHAH and they hang out even outside of the group#theres definitely something like they text a lot and stuff but neither of them are sure of how the other feels so they arent admitting#reader has borrowed a hoodie from him tho#(aka the one he's wearing in the blurb bc it's the only article of clothing that fits him in reader's apt)#also they figured they'd just kill time by drying iwaizumi's costume bc for sure they couldn't chuck it in the dryer so the next best thing#was to just use a dryer and spot dry it#makki did source most of the costumes! except mattsun's and his gf's#uhhh they go back to the party afterwards but reader literally had to makeshift lock iwaizumi's costume with safety pins HAHA#i guess his muscles just be too popping 🤷♀️#fvntybomb#ask#rep#ask game answered
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