#but also because I'll have some of the same classmates in different classes and wanted to find things that legit could trick them

[okayto]

Tip: if you find yourself having to continually post introductions and "about me"-type things—for example, being a student in an online-only program that always always starts with a mandatory introduction post— save all your introductions in one document.

This allows you to remember, reuse and reconfigure what you've used before without using the exact same thing every time, and keeps them all together so you don't have to go hunting them down.

Second tip: this goes triple if a "two truths and a lie" game is part of the post requirement.

[ywpd-translations]

Ride 794: The culmination race

Pag 1

1: “There are people who you don't meet often, but when you do meet them you get along really well”

2: I heard that from a classmate a long time ago

And I thought “there's no way that there are people like that”

4: There's some strange people

5: It's funny, if they asked me now

Pag 2

1: I'd answer “of course there are”!!

Pag 3

1: “One of them lives in Chiba”, I'd say!!

2: One day, that guy was collapsed on Hakone and I helped him

3: Unexpectedly, he also rode a bike

4: We met again at CSP

5: Like me

6: he's a climber

Pag 4

1: We rarely meet

but when we do meet

2: We laugh

Pag 5

1: at the same silly things

2: Sakamichi-kun!! It's you!!

Pag 6

1: They passed the 1km left point!!

Manami and Mountain King!

Just a few minutes until they reach the mountain line!!

Soon!

Goo Hakogaku!!

Take it, Chiba!!

Pag 7

1: They're still neck and neck!!

Amazing, neither of them is yielding!!

It's a race of willpower!!

2: Until the mountain line

3: 800m left!!

4: My hands

5: are becoming numb

6: But I'll keep doing my best!!

Pag 8

2: Wh-wh-what do I do

My heart is pounding in my chest....

3: They're arriving!!

Huh!? They're arriving!? Wait, my heart isn't ready

Not yet

Not yet!? Not yet!!

4: Why am I so nervous....

Even though I'm not the one running

Pag 9

1: Even though the one who's running and having a hard time is Sangaku...

2: I'll drink this lemon tea the old lady at the ryokan gave me, and I'll calm down

3: Ohh, you're going to cheer at the Inter High?

Oh, and you come from Kanagawa!?

Yes, well

That's amazing

4: It's delicious

5: But

6: I'm stuck on one thing

7: Was it really a good thing that I came here to cheer?

Pag 10

1: One month ago

2: Kanagawa Prefecture, Hakone Academy

3: Ah

4: Class rep

5: Huh? From above!?

Huh, where is this voice coming from!?

The boys' toilets

Ah!?

Pag 11

1: Wait a moment, there's something I wanna ask you

Toi... ah!?

2: Huh!? Wait!? What!? Directly!?

Use the inside stairs... be caref....

2: Hop

Okay I get it, I get it, I'll come there

4: You know the other day... while I was running... a butterfly was flying,. And then I thought “oh, it's gone?”

And then when I went home and took off my jersey, it came out of it fluttering

What- you just came down the second floor so smoothly and started making conversation!!

Pag 12

1: Am I not amazing like a magician!?

Boys are strong...

Ah, yes yes, that's true

2: Is that all you wanted to tell me? I've been asked to go to the audiovisual room to bring these documents

3: Are you coming to the Inter High?

5: Huh

6: “Something he wanted to ask”

This year

Ah

7: “Inter High”

Pag 13

1: You came to the Inter High every year

I didn't know you liked road racing so much, Class rep

I...

2: I always thought

You even passed me a drink on the mountain last year

I thought

3: After last year's Inter High ended

4: I kept thinking about it even on the train home

5: that it was because I went to see him that Sangaku...

6: lost

Pag 14

1: I know it's unrelated... but, at the same place, screaming the same words

This year it'll be in Kyushu thought, so it's far...

2: It's small, it's a small thing, but if it gets in Sangaku's way

Hakogaku is going by plane, so it's easy

3: If he was even just a little distracted because of me and that made a small difference

(Win, Sangaku!!

Win, Sangaku!!)

4: Then I think it's better if I don't go this year

6: Because I want him to win

Pag 15

1: Ah, as expected Kyushu is too over-budget

That's not... ah... uhm

2: …. yeah, sorry

3: Well, I'll tell you the highlights

There'll be a camera, so you can watch videos

4: Watch it

The first day's mountain

“The first day's... mountain”

5: I think Sakamichi-kun will probably there too

“Sakamichi-kun”... the guy with the round glasses

6: We'll probably fight there

I think

Pag 16

1: It will be the culmination race of these three years

2: “Culmination”!!

3: “Of these three years”...!!

4: Such heavy words... this is Sangaku being serious

Culmination....!?

Pag 17

1: We have to fulfill our promise, so I'm sure Sakamichi-kun will come

2: “Sakamichi-kun”... they must be... close friends....

3: I think it'll probably end up being our best race

4: A... are you close friends!? You.. you and that Sakamichi-kun!?

5: Hahaha

Well, I guess

6: Even though we only contact each other two or three times a year

And that's being close friends!?

7: I lost against him during our first year... Hakogaku ended up losing, so I resented him

But I was blaming the wrong thing, because after all it was because of my lack of ability, wasn't it?

8: Now we often talk after races

Is... that so

9: But why don't you send more texts to each other? Is- is he really a close friend!?

Of course!!

Pag 18

1: After all we both “like hills”

Pag 19

2: Come see me if you can save money

Ye... yeah

3: Sangaku's smiling face that day was incredibly persuasive

I really wanted to see you race

4: So I came

to Kyushu!!

5: But

7: I really don't want to move forward, after all

It's enough if I can just see him a little... from behind here

Pag 20

1: What are you doing

2: Hyaa I'm sorry!!

I'm sorry for not paying attention to who was behind me! I'll just lean down a little!

Why don't you move forward?

3: Huh

4: Isn't he

5: a close friend of yours, and you used to always listen to his nonsense?

To... Toudou-san!!

[sailorstar9]

Running Into The Ex-girlfriend At The School Reunion

“Hyoma...” Shika Sotomi, Chigiri's girlfriend for three months, sang. “Let's go together. Aw man, we're gonna be in different classes in 3rd Year. I'm so sad.”

“We're in the same school.” Chigiri reminded, the couple was walking to the Rajitsu Tech soccer club. “We can see each other any time.”

“That's not what I'm trying to say.” Shika pouted. “You're the school's top player, you're gonna go pro when you're older.”

“Sorry, Hyoma.” Shika called out after school some time later. “I promised to hang with a friend today. I can't go home with you.”

“Got it.” Chigiri waved her apologies off and headed off for soccer practice.

“Sorry, I've got a new boyfriend.” Shika called Chigiri out shortly after he tore his ASL. “Let's break up.”

“Boyfriend?” the redhead was taken aback. “You 'have' one, even though we haven't even broken up?”

“Keisuke-kun asked me to go out with me yesterday.” Shika shrugged. “I didn't wanna let him get away because he's got more potential than you. Anyway, now that you're injured, I have no use for you anymore.”

Time passes, in the Manshine City soccer team hostel...

25-year-old Chigiri received an email on his personal laptop, an invitation to the upcoming high school reunion.

After much consideration and discussion with the older Wanima twin, he accepted the invitation.

On the day of the school reunion...

“Chigiri, I didn't think you'll come to things like this, so I'm surprised.” one of Chigiri's former female classmates greeted. “Long time.”

“Listen and be shocked.” Wanima Junichi piped in. “Both Chigiri and myself are players in the Manshine City soccer team.”

“That's amazing.” the women gushed. “I knew you two were great at soccer and I thought you'd become something great.”

“So, are you single now?” one of the braver women pressed. “I'm currently looking for a boyfriend.”

“I also broke up with my boyfriend last year.” another woman added. “Are you free tonight?”

“Hyoma!” Shika called out and everyone turned around.

“I didn't see Sotomi's name on the invite list.” Junichi was confused as everyone took in Shika's rather unstylish outfit.

“I came to see you.” Shika spoke. “I want to talk.”

“We can talk here.” Chigiri stood his ground.

“That's okay.” Shika stammered. “That's great. You're a professional soccer player? You were always great at soccer.”

“How do you know that?” Chigiri asked.

“Junichi-san is always in contact with his younger brother, so I confirmed it with Keisuke-kun." Shika answered. "Hyoma, let's start over.”

“What?” Chigiri echoed in disbelief. “Now, with me? You were the one who said Wanima Keisuke had more potential than me.”

“Sorry, I was wrong.” Shika wailed. “I learned that it means nothing to just have potential in high school.”

“So, it's all about money?” the other women realized that it was all about.

“I didn't say that.” Shika protested.

“Didn't your last boyfriend see you only as an ATM? He made you spend money on him and then tossed you away after he drained you dry and leaving you with all his debt.” a female classmate explained. “Money is indeed important, but it's a little too good to be true to change your mind about a person you made fun of right after they make money.”

“You were saying that?” Junichi snapped. “Now you want to get back together because you have no money. It's too coincidental.” he moved the entire party to another table. “Shika still hasn't gone home yet.” he noticed the lone Shika drinking in the corner. “She hasn't given up on you yet.”

“I'm going to the restroom.” Chigiri excused himself.

“Hyoma.” Shika cornered the speedster outside the men's toilet. “You were in front of everyone else, so you couldn't say how you really felt, right?” she snuggled up to Chigiri. “I know you well. That's why I wanted to talk alone. You still like me, right? I'll go out with you. You've always been relaxed, so your feelings aren't obvious.” she continued, despite Chigiri slapping her off him. “But in high school, I felt that you liked me. You just can't express how you feel, right? It's okay. I get you.”

“I struggle to understand why you think I still like you.” Chigiri retorted. “First of all...”

“Hyo-kun.” F/N called out, a two-year-old toddler in her arms.

“You just came?” Chigiri walked over. “How did you know I was here?”

“Keiichi woke up from his jet-lag and started wailing for his daddy.” F/N replied. “Wanima-kun told me you were in the restroom. And that Satomi-san had chased after you.”

“Hyoma?” Shika splattered, seeing Chigiri's arm around F/N's waist

“I'm already married to F/N.” Chigiri explained. “And as you can see, we have a son.”

“What?” Shika exclaimed. “What's so good about that plain wallflower? I'm... my skin is a little dry right now, but if I go back to my normal lifestyle and work on myself, I'm beautiful. I'm so much better than her.”

“You still talk like that.” Chigiri sighed. “Before she went for that Germany scholarship after I tore my ASL, she made me a senbazuru; there's no way you can beat F/N. She wrote an encouraging quote in each and every origami paper. Also, I don't choose people based on looks. When we were going out, I liked you because you were honest. But, you changed. Those who can only look at people's qualifications will attract the same type. You brought this upon yourself. We're leaving.”

“So cute...” returning the reunion table, all the women cooed over Keiichi. “I knew F/N had all of us beat when she left that senbazuru to Chigiri.”

[poemcal]

helloo, I would like to make a request for Todd. where the reader is cheeky and flirts with him during breaks, but also leaves him small poems where she confesses her love. He feels the same way but she doesn't know it, and he confesses it to her one day when he hears her crying under a tree because she felt that he would never like her, and that she felt stupid trying to make him like her.

by the way, i love how you write and I fell in love the first time I saw Ethan Hawke in the movie😭😭💖

warning: none, too fluffy maybe!!

summary: how bad can it be having a crush on your classmate? Leaving poems in his desk, just as secretly as he is in love with you.

a/n: a long one, that's it, please clap for me A WHOLE THREE HOURS WRITING THIS 😭😭😭 hope you liked it!!! AND TY FOR YOU WORDS AND SAME I FELL FOR ETHAN IN THIS MOVIE TOO 😭😭🤍

✿ I LIKE YOU, YOU LIKE ME? : TODD ANDERSON

Every day you wait for Todd and his group of friends during breaks, since you didn’t share any classes with him. At first, you were friends with Pitts, and then you became close with all of them, except Todd. One day after classes, you saw him sitting alone. He always seemed like a bundle of nerves, but you liked that about him. You snuck up on him until you were right by his side.

“Writing for English?” Your voice made him jump in his seat, and he looked at you, startled.

“Y-yeah. I mean, no,” he stammered at first, closing his notebook and glancing around as if searching for help.

“I heard the classes are very... strange?”

Todd looked at you, almost offended, and shook his head. “It’s more than that. It’s like a lifestyle.”

“Wow. I’d like to be there, then,” you said with a smile, sitting beside him and glancing at how his hands were clinging to his pants, holding onto his comfort zone.

“You should. Why aren’t you? Aren’t we in the same year?” he asked with an honest curiosity that made you smile. It seemed like he was interested in you, in a way.

You nodded. “We are, but I got assigned a different teacher. Old-fashioned and boring, but he reads us beautiful poems,” you admitted, and for the first time, Todd smiled—just at you.

“You read poetry?”

“Of course! Although we read a bit of everything, it’s always Shakespeare.”

“Mr. Keating prefers Whitman, I guess.”

Since that conversation, you would find yourself approaching Todd during every break, taking the opportunity to give him small hints about your feelings toward him, which only grew stronger. The others could notice what you were doing, but Todd? Todd always seemed to be too caught up in his thoughts, never really in the moment, but still, you liked him more.

"Todd!" You shouted from across the campus and ran in his direction. Todd blushed at feeling so many eyes on him, but still, he stopped and waited for you. "Thanks for coming over," you said, laughing, and stopped by his side, letting your lungs take in a bit of air.

"‘I-I’m sorry!’ He would say, embarrassed to feel so clumsy just watching you run.

"It’s okay" you said with a smile, stepping closer. "On Monday, I’ll have a presentation" you started shyly, and Todd looked at you, confused. ‘I’ll have to recite a poem.’

"Do you want help?’" he asked, with a voice as delicate as always.

"No! I mean, I would loved that, but I already have one, I just... I don’t know, I thought maybe you could come watch me.’

Todd paused for a few seconds, then snapped back to reality and nodded. "Of course. I don’t think I have anything to do. J-just tell me the time, and I’ll be there." He never looked you in the eyes for long. For a few seconds, his eyes would meet yours, then he would find something less invasive to focus on. But you liked it.

"At four. Library. If you go, you should bring me some roses."

"I-i should?" Todd nervously looked around. "I'll have to grab some from here, then."

You laughed. "Bring some pretty ones."

"Aren't all flowers pretty?"

You nodded. "You're right. I should be more specific. Bring ones that won't make me sneeze all day."

"You're allergic? Then why would you ask me to bring flowers?"

You shrugged. "Because they're pretty. The gesture will be sweet, too," you said, winking at him, making Todd blush slightly.

After that conversation, you began leaving little notes with poems written for Todd under his desk every day without fail. You would hide behind the door, watching his reaction from the hallway. His pink cheeks, sparkling eyes, a shy smile he failed to hide, and his hands hurriedly stuffing the notes into his pockets made you completely happy. You wondered if he kept them for himself and hid them somewhere special.

Weeks went by, and your moment to recite in the library finally came.

When it was your turn to step up, you held the paper in your trembling hands, and your eyes instinctively searched for that blonde hair, but failed. Todd hadn’t shown up. You sighed in disappointment and recited your poem. The room filled with applause and cheers, and people praised you all the way back to your seat. As you walked back to your dorm, you saw him. Todd Anderson was sitting on the grass with the other poets laughing, and suddenly, it all made sense. He didn’t like you.

Todd looked at you, his eyes wide open, but you simply turned away and headed toward the solace of your dorm.

The next days, the notes on his desk stopped appearing, taking with them Todd’s excitement to arrive early to class just to read them. From then on, you also avoided Todd at all costs, not wanting to see his face, wishing to forget him. But he remained etched in your mind and heart, as important as a commandment and as necessary as the air in your lungs.

But you never cried, instead, you were angry at yourself for your foolish efforts to win his affection, which ultimately amounted to nothing. That changed one afternoon when you were sitting under a tree, far from Welton. The wind played with your hair, and the orange sunlight on your face heightened your emotions, and you ended up crying.

Footsteps startled you, and as you looked up, there he was. Todd. His face, worried and exhausted as always, but this time, his eyes held an unusual brightness.

He knelt in front of you, his face full of concern. "Are you okay?" he asked, his hesitant hands hovering in the air, unsure whether to touch you.

You nodded. "Yeah, go away, Todd."

"No, you're not," he murmured, watching as you swallowed your tears and avoided his gaze.

"I am. It's nothing, okay?"

"Come on, you can tell me," he whispered, something inside him knowing it was his fault, yet still gathering the courage when he saw you crying under that old tree.

"Todd, just—"

"I'm sorry," he blurted out, interrupting you. "I didn’t mean to miss your presentation. It’s just that—"

"You don’t have to make excuses, Todd. Really. You could’ve just said no," you murmured, letting out a tired sigh.

"No! I wanted to go. It's just... I wanted to find flowers for you, but I couldn’t. I asked the guys for help. At three! But time passed, and we failed. I’m sorry," he stammered, his hands fidgeting in a silent war with each other.

"Todd. It was sweet of you to try. But it's okay, I forgive you. That’s not why I’m like this, so don’t feel bad," you said, your voice as strained as Todd’s, which wasn’t usual for you.

"Then what is it? Y-you can trust me, I promise," he said, sitting in front of you, moving a few inches closer.

"It's silly," you said, playing with the long grass beneath your feet. "I'm... scared?" you confessed.

"Scared?"

"Yes, you know. That feeling you get when you think about the future or the past or the dark or—"

"I know! I mean, scared of what? I’m scared of many things... too many," he murmured, looking at you expectantly

"Of love," you admitted, embarrassed. "Not love itself, but the absence of love, you know?" Todd nodded eagerly. "I mean, I don’t know if I’ll ever be loved or if I’ll have something with someone! And it's scary."

You felt so small next to Todd, filled with fear, shame, and shyness. Todd, on the other hand, felt with so much power, more power than what he liked. He knew he needed to encourage you, but the words wouldn’t leave his mouth, making the moment worse.

"Don’t say that. You will be loved, you already are."

"By my mom, maybe," you said with a chuckle.

"No, I mean, yes! But I mean romantically."

"Do you believe in that idea that the love of my life is destined and wandering out there?" you whispered as if sharing a secret.

Todd nodded. "Y-yes. They could be very close to you. Closer than you think. Right in front of you... trying so hard to be noticed. Failing. Always," he finished with a whisper, his hands ceasing their internal fight and gripping each other for comfort.

"Todd, what are you talking about?" you asked breathlessly.

"I like you! I like you..." For the first time in your life, you heard him speak so loudly and clearly that it startled you, leaving you unable to form any words. "You don’t have to say anything... Your eyes. They say more. Always," he murmured, looking into your eyes for so long that you feared feeling exposed.

But then you understood. You already were. Todd already knew you were the girl behind the poetry and that you felt as deeply for him as he did for you. His hands released their grip and gently touched your face, wiping away the silent tears streaming down your cheeks and caressing the flushed areas. Your crying stopped, and your heart raced. You felt his heavy breathing over you, and he felt yours. After a few seconds, Todd kissed you. It was short, rushed, and anxious. But it was the best kiss you’d ever had in your life.

"I like you too. A lot, Todd," you whispered without opening your eyes, afraid your eyes would say more than your lips.

"I knew it the second week the notes stopped," he said, and you opened your eyes. "That’s when I realized I wasn’t the only one in love."

"Todd..." He silenced you with another kiss, this one slow, delicate, and patient, filled with unwritten poetry between the lines. Much better than the first, leaving you wanting more.

After that, the two of you began dating. You showed your love through physical acts, like kissing, hugging, or holding hands all the time. Meanwhile, Todd preferred to be more reserved. He now left you notes and preferred to kiss you in secret, feeling the intimacy of his love. And then, everything made sense.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I'm a bit confused about how the classes work at Night Raven... like, can students of different years go to the same classes at the same time? because we know Yuu goes/we go to the same class as Ace/Deuce, but I was doing some lessons w Floyd and he says something like "I think I'll go to your class today, Little Shrimpy!" ...is it just a Floyd Thing™️ where he randomly attends classes that he shouldn't, or are older students allowed to/have to go to some of the same classes that younger students have? Bc like... if he goes to the same idk, history class Yuu is at, wouldn't he just... be attending a class he practically already took? (Like how Leona says that he doesn't attend most classes bc he already saw that last year)

(also maybe this is just a silly question and it's a common school system thing in other countries, but at least on my country we don't really do that? I think? Classes are divided by years unless it's like a club activity or some other stuff like that, that's why I'm confused... or maybe it is based more on how a university operates? I haven't enrolled yet so I wouldn't know, sorry if it sounds like a stupid/obvious question 🥲🥲)

I go into more detail about class scheduling in this post. To put it simply though, here are the take-aways that are relevant to answering your questions:

There are “joint classes” where students of various grade levels are in attendance. Students mention this many times in various vignettes. However, it should be noted that joint classes most frequently happen in the context of P.E.

Some classes cannot be joint because there are different materials covered per grade level. For example, Magic History II covers the Just Judge but Magic History I does not.

Additionally, higher level classes require prerequisite courses first be passed. For example. first years’ classes are stated to be mainly theory based and second/third year classes involve more actual use of magic.

As far as we’re aware, NRC’s schedules run like a normal high school’s, meaning the classes are back-to-back and the only significant break in the middle of the day is lunch (a time which everyone seems to share). So when any boy says he’ll follow Yuu to class, it’s not as though he is on an extended break outside of lunch period.

All of the characters have Lesson lines similar to what you described for Floyd. The most likely reason why they say they will “follow you to class” or “do whatever you want to do” is because there is a separation between gameplay mechanics (Lessons) and the actual narrative (main story). For example, Malleus is canonically stronger than all of his classmates but this is not reflected in all Malleus cards having higher attack power; in fact, Dorm Uniform Riddle has the highest power of all student cards. Clearly, it does not make sense in-universe for the characters to take any class in whatever order they want just for the hell of it. However, the feature still exists as a way to level up your cards and to give fanservice to the players via voice lines (because it creates the illusion of bonding/spending time with the boys).

If you’re wondering how it works in universities, you’ll generally have some students from every grade level. Introductory courses may be mostly freshmen while specialized courses are mostly upperclassmen, but you might still get a few people outside of the usual grades interested and taking the class or even accelerated younger students in the high level classes. Electives especially can be mixed. It doesn’t really matter as long as you meet the prerequisites for the class (as you may need to have passes other classes to qualify for enrollment).

[eye-in-hand]

Why I'm Converting to Judaism

I've posted this onto tumblr before on an old blog of mine, fuck if I remember what it was called but lmfao I'm sure some people have seen this before.

There are a lot of reasons why I'm converting to Judaism, but what I talk about in this is a large part of it, and a large part of a lot of healing I've had to do. Getting involved in the Jewish community (at the point of writing this, I had a bit, but was still too scared and admittedly triggered from past events I talk about in this to do so) has been really healing for me, and has made me feel validated and less alone in my experiences. And that's something I can never show enough thanks for.

Also at the time of writing this I didn't have my driver's license yet, but I do now, and that's helped with actually being able to be in a physical Jewish space so that's been nice.

Because it involves (CW:) violent antisemitism and rape, I'll put it under the cut. This was written partly around June/July 2023 and then a couple days after 10/7.

For the last few years I've been seriously considering and researching into converting to Judaism. It's been a little difficult because I live in the middle of fucking nowhere northern Midwest and the closest Jewish community to me is small and an hour away (and I can not drive), but I've been talking with their rabbi for the past few years. Admittedly on and off because I've been ahhhh terrified lmfao for many different reasons (mainly it brings up trauma I've dealt with that I get into that below) but recent events have... really made it clear where I want to stand in this world, and who my heart yearns for the most.

Some back story:

There's a lot that has happened to me growing up involving the idea of Jewish Identity, who is and isn't Jewish—but there are a few major events that really stick out in my mind. The majority of my years in High School, I would often (and I mean, this happened regularly) be asked if I was Jewish, or told "you look Jewish" unsolicited, or asked "why do you [act Jewish]?" I have dark, curly hair, and other "typical Jewish features", or so I'm told. I had no idea if I was Jewish (ethnically anyways, I knew I wasn't religiously), and growing up as an undiagnosed autistic, I had no idea how to respond to these kinds of questions, or what to do about figuring that out, I had no fucking idea about anything. I don't even think I really understood what being Jewish meant. And when enough people ask you if you're X thing, you start to wonder if you are.

When asked, I had two answers: "I don't know, actually," or "why?" I never understood why it was only the Jewish kids being asked this, why was the question always "are you Jewish?" I never seemed to see other ethnicities being questioned (bare the biracial kids, they got asked this a lot too) and I went to a very diverse inner-city school. I knew Jewish kids and they were always asked and bothered the same way I was, sometimes at the same time. I showed interest in learning about Jewish culture and would talk about it at school, etc. Maybe these answers were the wrong ones. I'm autistic, I have no idea. Maybe I should have just said "no, I'm not." but my response was "I don't know, let me look into that," or "Why? Does it matter?" Because I genuinely meant those words.

To keep this short, I was bullied in school for "being Jewish", "looking Jewish", especially as if my dark, curly hair and nose were ugly and weird traits to either mock or touch without asking. Traits I tried to hide my whole life until recently as an adult I learned to appreciate them. I remember a specific incident where my 'best friend' was in a group project with other classmates and as the class was working on them, she came all the way across the room to me, and asked, "are you Jewish?" and I said, "why?"

"Oh because you look like a Greek Jew." Whatever that means.

All I responded with was a forced laugh and "does it matter if I was? Why is the question always about being Jewish?"

She went back to her group and for the rest of the class I was stared and laughed at. Very weird. Autism brain does not understand what is so fucking funny about it. There was another incident with her, or regularly honestly, and this group of people who would compare me to characters from media based on negative Jewish stereotypes and apparently it was just hilarious.

I always had to deal with holocaust jokes, Jew jokes, expected to laugh and go with it because it was just a crack at my appearance.

After high school, I moved towns, and — to keep this short and not too personal. I met a guy who took me in while I was vulnerable. Just became homeless, had no friends or places to go in a completely new town. Turns out, he's a neo-nazi, and I mean that literally. Not in the just a bigot oh he's a nazi, like — he was a proud "Odinist" body builder fuck head who was very proud of being Icelandic and German. The topic of Jewish people was one he brought up a lot, especially towards me. He asked me that same question, and I told him, "I don't know. I get asked that a lot."

I told him I was interested in celebrating Jewish holidays to learn more about Judaism. I'm angry at myself because I was barely 18, undiagnosed autistic, and he was much older than me, a local of the town and who I was depending on for a place to stay, for food. I barely knew what a pagan was, let alone what covert supremacy looked like.

I'm not exaggerating that this all still makes me shake, typing this is hard. I feel sick. He isolated me, kept me in his basement, "joked" about keeping "a Jew in his basement" and how "funny it would be to make that a dead Jew." He sexually abused me, beat me, choked and shook me, called me slurs, he'd talk on the phone when he thought I was asleep to his white supremacist friends about the "Jewish whore" he had. He wouldn't let me get a job, encouraged me to "act Jewish" in a fetishizing way. Told "edgy" jokes over, and over, and over and expected me to laugh with everything. It was all just a joke why are you upset it's funny, what's wrong with you, why are you such a bitch?

Later, when I got away from him (and homeless again in the process) I was in online "spiritual communities" and showed a picture of my face. I didn't realize how much the New Age community hates Jews and I was called a lot of things, especially when I told them that Jews aren't an alien race here to take over the world, or that hating Jewish people doesn't make you a fucking spiritually awakened guru. I was harassed in public for "being a Zionist (edit: yes, even in 2017)" even though I had never even mentioned an opinion on Israel, I never claimed to be Jewish, it was just assumed. My (platonic) partner's mother cried because "my daughter is running off w that k*** boy." I never told her I was Jewish, and neither did my partner. She saw me on Skype once. (Edit: My boyfriend's family are from Russia/Georgia and he's terrified to be seen with me near them and despite being interested in Judaism himself he's scared to go to the synagogue with me because of the possibility of them finding out. (Some of the fear is also because we're gay, but I'm well aware that it'd be even worse if they knew it was gay jews. And he's not scared for himself, he's scared for me.)

I got a DNA test a few years ago. I'm not Jewish. I don't know what happened to me. I don't understand this. Is this valid pain towards an identity I can't even claim? What do I even do with this? I wish I could talk to a Rabbi but I can't tell if I'm overstepping a boundary. A Rabbi's job is for the Jewish Community, they don't have time to hear my sob story about the antisemitism a Gentile faced. I can't just show up to the Jewish community and say "I get your struggles" because I don't. But I feel so alone.

I've stepped in and out of conversion, confused and unsure of who I am or who I want to be, what I believe, and how others see me. Angry at myself for how I handled these questions. Angry at myself for appropriating a struggle that isn't even mine to be struggling with. I'm so sorry.

When converting doesn't scare me, I just want to convert so that maybe the idea of being Jewish can be more than pain to me, and instead be something empowering. But I don't know anything right now or where I should go.

About a month or so ago, a couple coworkers of my partner started harassing us about me being Jewish, and I had directly told them multiple times, that I am not Jewish. I had even dropped the idea of converting because I was too scared of all this past hurt and didn't want to be alone to deal with it anymore, and too scared to talk to the Rabbi for fear of bothering him. But they threatened me, the only place I felt safe to hang out was around my partner's work and that place is no longer safe for me because of these people. I don't know them, and I don't want to know what they're capable of or rather who they know around here, because they're Qanon supporters of the men that tried to kidnap the governor and supporters of Jan 6, trumpy fucking dickheads. I live in a small, incredibly Christian town, I didn't fucking need this shit again.

It really triggered me because I didn't even have the excuse of "well it's my fault, I didn't say I wasn't Jewish" this time. I told them I wasn't but they think I'm hiding some "dark Jew secret" and I "cursed them" because their lives are going to shit.

Then all of this in Israel happened, and it hurt so much. That was the first weekend I had done Shabbat in a year or so, and for the first time it felt so right. It felt like what I should be doing. Then I logged back online, saw what had happened and for the Jewish community around the world it was one of pain. I called my Rabbi this past week after several months of silence on my end, and told him to let me know if there was anything I could do. He was glad to hear from me, and I'm sorry that I kept disappearing.

My point is, I'm converting because no matter what I say or tell people, this will always keep happening, I will never be safe and I don't want to face it alone, I want to hopefully connect with the community (daunting because ahh I'm autistic so I am. Not good at connecting with other people very well), do what I can. I had read about Jewishness being "sharing the fate of the Jewish people" and I believe that I do, it's been proven time and time again no matter what I say or do.

Anyways that's what's been on my mind. I hope this doesn't come off trying to make this tragedy about me, I'm not good at tone and I'm sorry. I'm bringing this up now because this really... marks the time for me to take this seriously, and I never want to shut the door on this again. I need to be there for the Jewish people in times like this because I've felt what that feels like, even if I don't really understand why.

[kamyru]

How Nathaniel's HS arc helped me understand that there are parents who don't beat their kids

TW: Violent parents, child abuse

As MCL: New Gen began, I decided to replay the entire MCL. And I know it's a running gag in the fandom to hate on Beemoov and criticize it and I also do it. However, this post won't be about it. It is gonna be quite the opposite.

I didn't reach Nathaniel's arc in HS yet, so I'll talk from memories. But replaying HS made me think about it a lot.

Random fact about me: I was beaten as a kid. When I was younger more, as I became a teenager, less. I don't remember how often it happened, but I know that I was afraid of doing things sometimes because of this. My mom mostly used a belt to strike my legs/butt, once she used a phone charger cable or something similar. When I grew up it kinda stopped, but she continued to grab me by the hair and shake me till I was around 17-18. My dad wasn't as involved in this. But it's a running joke in my family that I am the strange ideas generator and the black sheep because he once hit me with a hard slipper on the head.

The school teachers knew that parents use violence on their kids. It's probably impossible not to know it when every now and then a kid was coming to school crying the next day after a test. And while talking with my classmates, we always came to the same conclusion: the parents are doing it for our own good, and of course they don't have enough patience to take out bullshit. Moreover, everyone will probably hit their kid when we will have them. I even came to the conclusion that every kid makes a promise to themselves that they are not gonna hit their kid, because they know how it is, but most of the kids are so awful that it's impossible not to do it. So, every time our teachers were asking us if we are beaten at home and were making parents-teachers meeting in which they were telling the parents not to beat their kids, we were looking at it with skepticism. Everyone was hit at least once in my class. It was normal.

And when I was 12-13, I saw the playthrough for Nathaniel's arc. And all the things in there seemed for me to be exaggerations. Like what kid in their right mind was going to call the cops on their parents and do something with the violence, right? But all the hatred I felt at that time towards Nath's father and the reaction of the cast made me finally understand what my elementary teacher was trying to get to me: beating your kid is not okay and there actually are kids that had never been beaten in their entire life.

Nath's arc was the first fictional representation of a beaten kid who made it through and punished his parents. A thing I didn't have as a kid before, because everyone around me was hit at least once.

I don't know if Beemoov actually wanted to spread awareness or just have some more drama, but it worked. They did put the first brick in normalizing my view against child violence. It may seem something strange for people who didn't go through this, because now I know that they do exist, but it was an eye-opener for me at that time. It didn't give me power to go against my parents violence, especially because it wasn't as often at that time. But it gave me something more important: it gave me the reassurance and hope, and all that I needed to know that I will break the circle when it is the right time.

It doesn't matter if it happened once, or multiple times, or in what state of mind was the parent. It is wrong in any case. So, please, to all the kids that went through this, know that you will make it through. You can change, you can be different. It's not an axiom that all the parents are beating their kids. You can be different and I believe in you.

And also

Thank you, Beemoov for teaching me this.

[anonzentimes]

last asker here wahoo weehee but yeah i dont mind the ramble !!! honestly i do feel a little similar sometimes ourgh . maybe not with being in specific fandoms but especially when it comes to like . the smaller things like self inserts . the like

but anyway !!!!!! now im curious and im not too sure if you've answered anything of the sort before but i do wonder what you thought of the difference in characterization with Nagito in the games and in the anime?

not that nagito in the games r even one for one the same- same goes for the anime-

but i do know there's a difference , and i've heard so many differing opinions on how Nagito's potrayed in both, especially discussion on how faithful Nagito in danganronpa 3's character is to danganronpa 2, so i'll admit now im very interested on hearing your thoughts on him when looking at game nagito and anime nagito side by side eyes emoji

YAYY!!!!! I love getting asked to talk about him it's so fun!!! No one has actually asked this before, and I've been planning to do something on this for a bit!

Personally I think anime Nagito is actually really good! Although I think side lining him for a little bit was a weird decision, even if I understand why. But enough of that! Let's talk more about his characterization! I'll talk about what I think about Nagito's characterization in the anime and some annoyances I have with the misinterpretations!

I will admit that some of the fandom's opinions on, "Anime Nagito vs Game Nagito," kind of bother be because a lot of it stems from people not understanding his character in it's entirety in the first place.

The thing about Nagito is that he works as an amazing antagonist because he isn't ill intentioned and is just mentally screwed up. In the killing game his coping mechanisms and absolute beliefs are on display and he is at his worst, he's practically having multiple mental breakdowns and losing it. And his beliefs and coping mechanisms happen to be morally gray because he believes Anything is okay if it's for hope. With his luck cycle, coping mechanisms, and absolute beliefs that stem from both of these things we get Nagito. And when you place Nagito who thinks being trapped on the island forever without the ultimates impacting the world in any way is worse than one person surviving and making an impact on the world, he feels like he has to do something.

Basically, how Nagito acts in the anime and before the first trial is who he is when he's not mentally crumbling and I get really irritated when people try to say that in the game he was a "malicious psychopath" but in the anime he turned into "baby boy" like, just, GRRRAGHHH!!!!! IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE HE NEEDS TO BE GATEKEPT WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT!!! THEY'RE MISUNDERSTANDING HIM SO BAD IT HURTS ☹️☹️☹️

I believe the anime's characterization is pretty great and still keeps in tact his absolute beliefs that lead him to do morally gray things for the sake of hope! I think he's very well done characterization wise in the anime. I liked the episode where he ends up blowing up the gym because he wants to postpone the test for his classmates it made a lot sense with how he thinks and his luck cycle! I also really love his encounter with Junko and Izuru. He says several good lines in the anime that are accurate and completely in character for him, and I love it!

I think the addition that the class thought he was weird even before he was at his worst and didn't show much reciprocation is sad and adds to his tragic life. The fact that he isn't surprised when Chisa slaps him, but rather when he is shown affection gets me dude!!!

I think it is sweet though that, his time at hope's peak is probably one of the best experiences he had until everything went wrong. He isn't shown much reciprocation but he genuinely cares for his classmates beyond them being ultimates from hanging out and knowing them so long. He has some reciprocation from Chisa and the other classmates somewhat care about him to varying degrees. I believe his overall luck cycle went, get accepted into hope's peak, good luck, gets diagnosed, bad luck, gains people he cares about in his life and some who care about him too, good luck, all of them become despairs, bad luck!

The other thing I wanted to touch upon is Bryce Pappenbrook listening to criticism about how Nagito sounds more sarcastic than intended. For a lot of the english fanbase the misinterpretation that Nagito's not honest is beyond repair especially since he's hard to understand, but I really do appreciate the effort to change it slightly. Even if people who misunderstood think there's a huge difference or even retcon with his character, I think it's a nice change that he sounds more genuine like his Japanese voice in the anime.

I think the real difference with him in the Anime versus Ultra Despair Girls and Danganronpa 2 is his role in the story. I think he's very in character, we just don't see him having meltdowns and go through his self unaware freak outs. We still see him do morally gray things and impact the plot though! In the anime he's doing better compared to the spiraling we see in Danganronpa 2 and rock bottom even more extreme beliefs we see in Udg.

Also I think the anime solidifying the fact that Nagito usually doesn't go out of his way for the ultimate's attention because he thinks he's unworthy of their time actually makes Danganronpa 2 more impactful. Because, if he doesn't try to seek the ultimates attention, then that's further solidifying the fact Nagito was interested in Hajime, he felt a connection with him even when they first met. We see him do the opposite of what he usually would just because of Hajime, and I think that's really sweet.

Nagito barely mentioning hope in Danganronpa 2's prologue is for the plot twist mostly, however, there could be multiple actual reasons for it. My interpretation is that it's because he wanted to make a good impression so he focuses on that instead, that combined with it not really coming up leads to them not really knowing what he thinks. There are hints of it and he's not purposely "hiding it" at all. Nagito is an honest person who only lies when he feels it's necessary, to further prove that point when he gets the despair disease, personality inverting disease, he gets the Lying disease.

Nagito in the prologue and in the anime are the same because he's not losing it yet, the only difference is Nagito talks slightly less about hope and his beliefs because It's not very relevant, he's trying to make a good impression, and he's focusing on keeping Hajime's attention. My favorite little thing supporting this is that he doesn't complain about going swimming. In the Dangan Island events we see him worry about it, but when he's focusing on everything else he didn't really think about it. He asks what Hajime is planning to do instead.

In conclusion, I believe Nagito in the anime is pretty good. He serves his role well for it not being his usual one, info about what he was like adds a little more to Danganronpa 2 analyzing it, and it's nice that we get to see more of him when he's not at his worst. He's still absolutely the same person and I think his characterization is really good. I think they could have utilized him more or made him relevant to the plot sooner if they wanted, but I think the impact and scenes that he has still are great and work well since he, again, doesn't have his usual role in the anime.

One last thing while I'm here talking about the anime's Nagito, a lot of people like to make the joke that he's "hopesexual" because of the one fan service line of dialogue in Danganronpa 3 where he basically says, "Hope feels amazing," and I just. URAGGHHH!!!!!!!! I'm sorry but if someone unironically says "hopesexual" I hope that their pillow always remains warm on both sides because saying it Is ANNOYINGG!!! It's so easy to get I don't know why people do this, and I know I'm being a little over the top but it just bugs me sooo bad Like,

Hope = Absolute Good/Euphoric Feeling for him, Horny = Euphoric Feeling for him, CONCLUSION: GENERAL EUPHORIA DESCRIPTOR!! He doesn't have a hope kink and the people who make those jokes are weird especially since it's straight up wrong!! I know it's just a joke, but it still gets on my nerves regardless because some people take it seriously. Even one of his songs uses this comparison by allegorizing hope with sexual desires, conveying that both are euphoric emotions for him! >:(

Anyways!

Thank you for your ask and Hopefully I successfully got all of the points I wanted to across! <3

[aqours]

anyways if i'm going this deep in lemme share this teen mom Ashley fic idea i had i'd love feedback on the idea

this is completely unrelated to my other idea regarding this this is an entirely different can of worms i'm putting this under a readmore just bc it's a bit long and also filled with dead doves so only open and eat it at your own discretion

so basically the idea goes like this- when they were teenagers (her 14 and him 16) Andrew and Ashley got into some kind of big fight (still working on it) most likely due to him having a girlfriend in hs at the time. during this period, in an effort to make a point and piss him off, Ashley gets a boyfriend of her own (who just so happens to have messy black hair and green eyes wow what a coincidence) who was in a class with Andrew. some incident happens where Ashley "accidentally" leaves her phone with explicit texts on view (but also tis like the 90s so maybe i'll redo that) and Andrew talked with his classmate and then uh there was another second missing person, and after an intense argument Ashley and Andrew "slept in the same bed" and anyways a month later Ashley announces she's pregnant casually at the dinner table putting the pregnancy test she put right on it.

"Huh. Not the reaction I was hoping for."

"Forgive me for not being particularly fucking thrilled at the idea of being a grandmother at 32, Ashley."

"You know, if my kid has a kid at 15 and their kid ALSO has a kid at 15 you could be a great-great-grandma at only 75."

"Please shut the fuck up, Ashley."

and Andrew is in complete denial it is. it's been 6 years and every single person except Julia refuses to believe it isn't. at one point when Alexis "Alex" Graves is a baby she makes a comment she has her father's (green) eyes with a wink and grin at Andrew. during the Burial Route when Mrs. Graves is trying to plead with Andrew she finally says "... If you won't do it for yourself, do it for your ------------------" and it's like his brain physically blocks out any insinuation with he's the father with white noise. so he's been living as the kid's uncle officially and has no idea how to act around this kid most of the time.

Ashley is not a good mom by any means and has had CPS called on her more than once but incompetence won't remove the child entirely and she does like. actually love this kid but her obsession with Andrew is clearly more important to her, the fact this kid keeps him tethered to her even if he won't admit, and also because she spoils the kid however she can to try to prove she's a better mother just because her daughter is happier than she was, when learning Alex hit another kid to get their candy she was outright like fuck YEAH if you want something take it!!! girlboss gatekeep gaslight to this four year old and Andrew at least tried to teach the kid right from wrong in response. during her first birthday Mrs. Graves asked Ashley if she was gonna do anything and Ashley didn't see a point the kid is 1 they won't remember the birthday there's nothing they'd want and she doesn't seem to process the point of a birthday for a baby isn't about toys and fun but to celebrate their life. when Ashley suggests they can get by on mugging people Alex says she can pose as a homeless sad kid and for the first time in a while at her Ashley lights up and says THAT'S why you're mama's favorite <3333

babies don't make everything better the co-dependent toxic satanic demonic summoning cannibal incest game's plot now also includes a 6 year old that has also eaten people now with two of the most awful parents imaginable around her and if anything Ashley might get colder once her mom is dead because now there's no way

thoughts? i really want to write this but i'd love feedback

[sapphic-agent]

I will say confidently that MHA has done this. It has given me a lot of ideas for my own story. It also has a lot of inspo from Avatar: The Last Airbender as well, but it's still it's own thing. I will say, as a treat. Here's a Momo rewrite!

Momo, as said before, grew up with rich parents. I'd also like to believe for this rewrite she has like older siblings. For the reason why Momo feels so inadequate is because her classmates have so much going for them, her siblings are so much smarter and wiser than her, and her parents aren't... around that much. She doesn't feel good enough, and she just wants to show that SHE can be that good enough.

I'd say she'd still have that same fight thing with Shoto and Aizawa, some things tweaked here and there but still the same. As the show goes on, I feel like it would be interesting to show a different side of the field when it comes to how quirk society treats certain people. Momo is up on the ladder. Very wealthy. Her parents have extreme expectations for her, and she has to be perfect. Grades, social life, clothing, etc. She gets compared a lot to Shoto and her siblings, which can be apart of her arc and why it affects her so much. Also a reflection of Japanese society of always having women to be perfect, prim, and even her parents basically forcing her to be like a perfect housewife for her next "husband." But Momo doesn't wanna marry or fall in love with WHO her parents want her to be. Maybe she realizes during school she's a lesbian or bisexual or w/e sexuality. She is not quite as knowledge, but very open to learning. She and Jirou get close, and meets her family. Her family is so kind and supportive, and what a family should be. She feels conflicted. For Shoto parallels, Shoto comes from a well off home, but a not so good family life. Even throw a parallel to Toga who went through the same thing. Ochako also grew up dirt poor, but has loving parents. Momo learns about a loving family IS, and I feel she would try to reconnect with some of her adult siblings, and it goes well. Rocky, but well. Shoto getting the courage to stand up to his own dad. It makes Momo think, Momo's parents in this, aren't as accepting of the LGBTQ+ , but are quiet about their judgements. Momo and Jirou's romance is a slowburn mainly because MHA takes place within one year. But, tbh, in my rewrite of MHA the final battle with Shigaraki is when all of Class 1A are like in their 4th year of school. By then, Momo and Jirou are dating. But if we're sticking to the canon timeline, there's hints of it. But Momo stands up to her parents about this and doesn't take their shit anymore. She's her own person. She's her own hero. I'd also like to imagine Momo also becomes a foil to Toga. Because in this rewrite, they have quite a lot in common, and is also present in the whole Toga V. Ochako show down. She would become a part of the Dekusquad, and be like a 2nd defacto leader. Also, in this rewrite, Midoriya, Iida, Ochako, Tsuyu, and Momo go to Shoto's house, and not just Bakugo and Midoriya. Momo is very confident and becomes a great leader, and hero. Lemme know what you think!

Weird way of proposing, Anon, but I DO.

This is all I've ever wanted for Momo. Substance, drive, ambition, ALL OF IT IS SO PERFECT. And it also feels very true to her character. So many Momo rewrites make her entirely different (seriously, when people make her cold and snobby it really turns me off because a big part of Momo's character is that despite being rich she has a generous and kind heart), this one takes what's good about Momo's canon characters and enhances it. Horikoshi wishes he could write women half as well as you.

Please keep cooking🔥 If you ever make a fic I'll be the first one to read it

[lesbianneopolitan]

Diary: NEEDY GIRL

I don't want to go to school. I can't get along with anyone. Not with my classmates, not with my teachers. Everyone seems stupid to me. But I know that this feeling is wrong, and that if I were really smart, I should be able to fit in with the people around me.

In other words, I don't fit in.

I wonder if it's a defense mechanism that makes me look down on others. If I don't do that, I'll go crazy. I just have a strangely high sense of pride, no…maybe I'm just pretending to be proud. I'm just trying to convince myself that I'm not smart because I have different concerns than the average person…

I call the people in my class who communicate by talking about popular music and manga "shallow." I feel like I've gained individuality and intelligence just by knowing some minor works on the Internet that I hunted around to kill time…but honestly, I just love dark movies.

I can empathize with unfortunate people and fools who indulge in pleasure. Last night I watched "Requiem for a Dream". Ruining your life because of drugs is shit, but I can understand it. It's like life is boring if you're not drunk on something. I can understand that a billion times better than the stories of handsome guys and beautiful girls falling in love and getting together.

There's nothing. My life is simply nothing. I want to give a reason to this "nothingness," but somehow I perceive my upbringing and environment as excessively unfortunate, and I gradually mistake the convenient delusions that play out in my head for the truth, and that scares me.

Classrooms, parents, classmates, how intelligent I could be, income, social media, the opposite sex that approaches me, the same sex that is showing off…I'm vaguely afraid that trying to maintain myself by blaming others will lead to an irreparable mistake someday. But then I have to think that it's all my fault…yet, depending on how you look at it, I'm the culprit, being a lonely student addicted to my smartphone who hasn't taken any action is my fault.

I wish I could throw away my mistaken pride, admit that popular music and manga are actually interesting, and talk honestly, without thinking of those attempts at conversations as "fawning."

But I can't help thinking that.

Am I really that bad? Isn't it the fault of the adults who turned a blind eye? It's the fault of the people in my school who betrayed me, right?

I, I… I want to die, but if I say "I want to die" out loud, I'll become so shallow that I'll die. I can't stand if my emotions are labelled with an ordinary "troubled teenage girl A." The health teacher tapped me on the shoulder and said, "It's okay. There are good things in life, so let's do our best at our own pace!"

That's right. There are good things, aren't there? Let's think about fun things. I'm sure the teacher's life will be full of "fun events" in the future.

When I finish work and go home, my beloved lover might hug me. I might enjoy a slightly luxurious dinner with my friends.

Maybe the teacher also has to rely on psychiatric drugs in a pitch black room to make it through the morning. But it was the teacher who said there were fun things, so surely there must be a lot of fun things?

Like being drunk forever.

There are a lot of fun things, right? Your mother makes you an omelet rice. Your friend invites you to an amusement park. The manga you were reading becomes an anime. The people you hate get run over by a car. Your mother becomes kinder. The people you hate drown in the ocean. You awaken your psychic powers and are able to blow up the people you hate. You get everything from the bookstore. The people you hate get carried away and fall off a cliff. The people in the classroom, the adults…

[cerealandchoccymilk]

Trigun Bookclub: Vash's Speech (FLOP EDITION...)

all bookclub posts

so i wrote this entire thing over a span of a day and a half. and found out just as i was finishing it that the ultradeep™ vash lore analysis point i wanted to make is actually NOT in the og trigun. [here's my mental breakdown post lol]

but i spent so much time and energy on this that i cant just say whelp! and delete it... so i'm posting it anyways. the straight-up incorrect parts are crossed out and some post-realization notes are in red. theres also a few paragraphs of postscript commentary/rambling in purple at the end of the post.

read it if youre bored i guess. but take it all with a grain of salt.

in the future (once we get to trimax vash+knives interaction) i will write the version of this that my memory intended, with an actual conclusion that makes sense lol

Mini-entry this time because I got consumed by linguistics brain worms :P But I wanted to make sure I talked about Vash's speech and his usage of pronouns!

A bit of background before we get into the analysis:

Japanese pronouns are very different from English. As the Wikipedia page puts it, "The use of pronouns, especially when referring to oneself and speaking in the first person, vary between gender, formality, dialect and region where Japanese is spoken."

The styles of spoken Japanese in general are another can of worms.... They're similar worms so I'll be touching on them a little, but it's not that relevant yet.

In real life, people have multiple pronouns (and speech styles) that they switch between depending on the situation, like with friends and family, at work, in front of kids, etc. For example, I primarily use 俺 online (along with joke/slang pronouns for funsies like 漏れ or おれっち), 自分 or 僕 in public depending on the person, and 私 in closeted situations. My cis male JP-school classmate uses 俺 with friends/family, used to use 私 in class at first, and then transitioned to 僕 as he got more familiar with the teachers.

Although this sort of code-switching happens all the time IRL, it's way less frequently illustrated in fiction, both for consistency's sake and because fictional characters just don't care as much about status. That's why I thought what's going on with Vash is particularly interesting!

Details continued below...

--original readmore position--

Here are the connotations for the two first-person pronouns that Vash uses (pulled from Wikipedia):

ore/おれ/俺 - informal - males - Frequently used by men. Establishes a sense of "masculinity". Can be seen as rude depending on the context. Emphasises one's own status when used with peers and with those who are younger or of lesser status. Among close friends or family, its use conveys familiarity rather than "masculinity" or superiority. It was used also by women until the late Edo period and still is in some dialects. Also oi in Kyushu dialect.

boku/ぼく/僕 - formal/informal - males - Used by males of all ages; very often used by boys; can be used by females but then carries tomboyish or feminist connotations. Perceived as humble, but can also carry an undertone of "feeling young" when used by males of older age. Also used when casually giving deference; "servant" uses the same kanji (僕 shimobe). Can also be used as a second-person pronoun toward male children (English equivalent – "kid" or "squirt").

(the usage of boku as a 2pp is actually part of a different phenomenon--if you're interested in that kotolabo's video explains it better than i ever could (eng captions available))

And these are the notes for every time Vash has used a first-person pronoun in the span that I've analyzed so far, which is until Chapter #06. I'll be adding onto this in the future as my annotations continue. no need anymore. i skimmed the rest and found out that, aside from a childhood flashback, vash uses exclusively ore after chapter #05.

The first instance is in Chapter #02, when he cries in French.

「なぜ僕がこんな目にあうのママン　何も悪いことしてないのにみんなが僕を狙うよママン」（独り言） "Why do things like this keep happening to me, maman? I don't do anything bad, but everyone's always after me, maman!" (to himself)

Here he uses boku, the softer pronoun. However, because he's putting on a "helpless French boy" persona, this one actually doesn't say much about Vash (other than that he's being silly).

The second time is later in the same chapter, when surrounded by the women of April City.

「奴に…会うまでは！！　俺は立ち止まる訳にはいかないんだ！！」（主婦たち） "Until I see him again... I cannot afford to stop moving!" (Housewives)

This time he uses ore, the rougher and more masculine pronoun. The situation is very tense; he has several guns pointed at him. This is also the first instance we see the trauma and hurt Vash holds inside. Overall he's very desperate here. We can see in a bit that ore is his "default." He drops his usual polite/kind tone to be as sincere as he can with the women. I think he can't afford to code-switch and be polite because this is a very personal and emotional moment for him. This doesn't mean his tone is necessarily rude (in-universe!!! probably better not to talk to strangers like this IRL); he still uses relatively soft language.

The next two are in Chapter #04, both when he refuses the sandsteamer guy's job offers.

「やだやだやだやだ　僕は争いごと嫌いなの！！」（砂蒸気の人） "No, no, no, no! I don't like trouble!" (Sandsteamer guy)

「僕は客なの！！この車の警備態勢にはチョーー期待してるから ヨロシクね！！」（砂蒸気の人） "I am a passenger! I have great faith in your security, so I entrust everything to you, okay?" (Sandsteamer guy)

He uses boku here. As we'll see in future instances, this is the pronoun he uses in front of other people and is the one he chooses most frequently. He constantly avoids trouble, so he always uses soft language and the humbler pronoun. nope it was just out of politeness towards a stranger and trying to sound less assertive/more harmless(?) to get out of the situation

In the next page, Vash talks to himself during his piss break.

「…まったくもう　保険屋の2人組といい…　俺(おら)ァもっとひっそりとやってきたいのに」（独り言） "...Jeez! As if those two insurance girls weren't already enough... I was hoping for a nice, quiet trip." (to himself)

Although the pronunciation here is oraa, it's a reduced form of ore wa (wa is a grammatical particle). His tone here is sort of laid-back (and tired, as you can tell). Again, this is his default 1st-person pronoun.

A few moments later, on the last page of the chapter, he says,

「よく分かった　ツラかったろう！！大丈夫だ 僕にまかせな　悪い様にはしねえぜ！！」（カイト） "I understand. It must have been so hard! It's okay... I'll take care of you. I won't let anything bad happen to you again!" (to Kaito)

Here he switches back to boku. He does this in front of almost everyone, but this is especially the case because he's speaking to a child he wants to protect. Using the boku pronoun gives a softer, more approachable vibe.

In Chapter #05, he goes back to ore when he talks to Kaito about No Man's Land.

「時々考えるよ　この惑星に…来た事が本当に俺達にとって幸せな事なのか　ってね」（カイト） "I sometimes wonder... Was our arrival on this planet actually something for us to be happy about? ...Y'know?"

From here on Vash is more familiar with Kaito, enough to open up a bit about his true feelings about humanity. It is also partially Vash talking to himself. irrelevant/coincidence

In Chapter #06, Vash talks to himself in front of Kaito.

「間違いない！！俺にゃー死神か貧乏神が２ケタ以上ついてるんだ」（独り言・カイト） Overhaul: "Why do death and destruction always follow right behind me?!" Literal: "I swear, I have at least 2 digits’ worth of death-gods or poverty-gods haunting me!!"

He uses ore here again. At this point, he's pretty much completely familiar with Kaito, and considers him a friend/teammate. The speech here is very casual. Skimming through the later chapters, I was able to confirm that from Chapter #05 on, Vash uses exclusively ore.

wait

AAAND CUT! this is where my dumb ass realizes that vashs speech is different between trigun and trimax, and that the conclusion i planned on making was trimax-exclusive :) now forget everything you just read in this post past the wikipedia table screenshot because itll be completely irrelevant in less than a week!!

trimax vash uses boku 99% of the time and ore exclusively in front of knives as far as i can remember. i wanted to say stuff about how he is always wearing the kind persona as a mask and shows his true emotions (aka his sheer trauma and rage) in front of knives and knives only

but like. he really doesnt in og trigun. thats just him being kind to strangers??? and barely has any deep meaning to it. it doesnt mean the individual analyses are wrong but theyre definitely not making the point i was going to make at the end of this post and it just aint that deep.

very frustrated with myself rn... but the 2 good things i got out of this are 1) i wont have to write the pronoun explanation again and 2) i skimmed through all of trigun so future annotations might be faster/cost less spoons since i already have some things to write down in mind.

This will definitely get a part 2+ in the future, especially once we get to see Knives. the redo will just be a new single-part post. this stuff will most likely only become relevant once we see knives+vash interaction in trimax The Meryl speech analysis we mentioned in a past post is currently in the works, and will also be part of this speech series!

[quincyhorst]

HELLO! i adore your hcs too much 😭 and i want to ask if you have anything about stéphane from rose griffon? for some reason i feel like he’s underrated compared to the other midfielders,, (p.s. jean is LITERALLY this emoji: 😈)

AAAA Thank you so much!!! ;v; And I have quite a lot for him, so I'll share some!

Stéphane is from Nimes, a city from the south of France, mostly known for its roman colosseum (Les Arènes) that hosts events like bullfights and such. In just a couple of years, Stéphane went from seeing the place from afar... To performing chansons on it.

But to summarize the how; it all goes back to some years before the FFI. Even though he wasn't popular yet, Stéphane had a huge love for music, so alongside school he would assist special classes as to write music. It was there when his first songs came from; at first covers yet eventually branching out to more original lyrics and melodies. However, those were meant only to be listened by his teachers and classmates. That was until, at the end of the year, a local radio host offered the kids to showcase their best tunes across the country.

...However, what nobody was expecting is that of all the broadcasted songs, Stéphane's one would awaken a frenzy in the public. Soon enough the station was bombarded with letters of fans begging the hosts to play the song more often, and also as to know who had composed such masterpiece. The thing had became so big that after a long discussion, the Henno agreed to release few of Stéphane's songs in the form of a CD. A huge success!

So, as time went on till the FFI, Stéphane kept composing songs; some being kept private and others published on CDs, all of them still selling like crazy -and even worldwide!-. Though despite being at a different level of skill and fame than his classmates, he still insists on assisting composing classes. Too bad he sticks out like a sore thumb.

At least compared of those of his same level, Stéphane prefers to be humble. No matter how much fame or skill he has, he still insists to live in a low profile, never wanting to consider himself "different" just because of his circumstances. For example, although he has made enough money as to soon move to the more "artistic" Paris, Stéphane insists he wants to keep living on Nimes, because no matter how simple or small it is; that's the place that saw him grow.

...He's not that different from Laurent, who also desires to live like a normal person, so I can see them getting on well. I can also see him be on good terms with Ronny, even though the latter prefers luxury over simplicity. Émile is one of Stéphane's many fans, and once he got the chance to, he asked him to sign his CD case. And as for Pierre and Julien... He's way too calm to properly understand them 😭

I'll cut this here to avoid writing too much. Nonetheless, hope you like it! ♥ And you can always ask for more or any other character 👌

(AND YES YOU'RE RIGHT!!! Every time I saw that emoji I was like "JEAN GUTAIN????" 😈😭)

[vikkirosko]

Hey! It's me again with another request for Metal Family 😅

Okay, here we go! May I have some headcanons for Dee and Heavy (separate) with a Brazilian s/o? I'm Brazilian and often there's nothing about Brazilian reader, the best ones are from Brazilian writers, but sometimes we're very stereotyped..

If you want any help, you can send me a message! I'll be glad to help ^ - ^

Many thanks to the author of the request for helping me and giving me the base for writing this request =3

Headcanons Brazilian

📚 Dee x Reader📱

Any new student in the class aroused interest, but when Dee's classmates found out that you were from Brazil, their interest in you became even greater. They surrounded you and asked a huge number of questions, which caused your embarrassment. Dee was even sorry for you. He was in no hurry to start talking to you, but when school started, you were able to get to know each other a little better thanks to the teacher who decided that you would do a school project together

Life in a new country was unusual for you, so Dee offered to help you get used to it. You walked around the city together, he showed you places that he liked himself. He found out a few things about you. For example, the fact that you spoke with a Portuguese accent, that your family moved because of your parents' work, as well as the fact that you supported the culture of your native country at home. Dee found out about this when he came to visit you. Your parents were glad that you got used to the new one and even brought a friend home

When you started dating, some classmates asked Dee what it was like. They were sure that since you were from Brazil, you were different from them in your relationship. Dee ignored his classmates' questions. It didn't matter to him whether you were from Brazil or from another country, because that wasn't the main thing about you. Your culture, music from your native country that you liked and traditional dishes were of great importance to you and he respected that, but he saw in you not only that, but also your habits, your character, he saw in you your personality

You and Dee got to know each other's cultures better and you enjoyed telling him about what life was like in Brazil. He didn't mind when you suggested he go there when you get older. In a way, it was a promise between you. A promise that gave confidence that even after a few years you will be together

🎮 Heavy x Reader 🐱

You and Heavy met on your first day at school. He was late for class and walked down the corridor, realizing that he would not have time anyway and the teacher would be unhappy. That's when you approached him. He had never seen you before, and when you spoke, he realized that you, apparently, were from another country at all. You asked him where the class you needed was. When you called the office number, Heavy smiled broadly and took you by the hand and led you along, telling you that you were in the same class, mentally rejoicing that he now had an excuse for being late

You were able to make friends quickly. He became your first friend in a new country for you and was happy to give you a tour of the city and you were happy to welcome him as a guest at home. You had a lot of things at home that you brought from Brazil and your parents cooked feijoada. Heavy had never eaten anything like this before, so he was thrilled. He was interested in communicating with you and often asked you questions about your native country, even though some of his questions made you laugh

You often spent time together and you told him different legends from your homeland. Sometimes you compared him to Curupira, and after Heavy found out from you who he was, he felt some pride that you called him that. It was as if it was your shared secret that you didn't explain to anyone, and even when your classmates tried to understand why you called him that, you didn't tell, continuing to keep the secret

You were the one who destroyed stereotypes and myths about Brazilians who knew Heavy. Sometimes it seemed to him that you were completely different, like you came out of a bright and warm movie. He liked to communicate with you, listen to your stories and learn new things about your native country. He hoped that soon he would be able to show you what you did not know about the country in which you now lived

[mr-nauseam]

re: juno x livia

oooo what about juno and livia makes you ship them? 👀👀

I've been thinking a lot about how to talk about this because I NEVER imagined someone would ask about the best toxic yuri my delusional head could come up with but I guess I'll do what I do best: ramble 🙏

So this began because for a wip (that I'm still working on) were I needed to pair Livia with someone so I went and looked up all the names of the mentors and look I rarely use the movie for references but I needed a visual image so I was looking at pictures of the mentors and I need you to see this:

Because WHY THEY KINDA SLAY? So the a e s t h e t i c was the first thing that make me say "Oh THEY COULD BE A SHIP," then because I'm a book girlie I go to read every line were they appear which lead me to the next point on why I end up shipping Livia and Juno

They give mean girlies in love vibes 🥰

Here we enter the fun realm of speculation so these are simply my headcanons but I think Livia has a similar personality to a classic mean girl like Regina George. So she can be terribly capricious, demanding special treatment and complaining at what she perceives as unfair treatment (I should note that she seems to have a strong patriotism and a clear defense of her values) but I don't think Livia is as nasty as Coriolanus paints her or at least not to other people. One key thing about being a triumphant queen bee is having some charisma, and actually being able to be incredibly hypocritical

Livia is but in a rather subtle way so she will claim to be a brutally honest person and will be a pain to deal with at times. She can be especially nasty to people she can't stand like Coriolanus or Sejanus but I think she can be quite civil to people she in theory calls friends but in reality won't allow them to get to know her intimately because she's afraid of intimacy. Also sorry but she has the perfect potential to have mommy issues, so there is a marked difference between Livia in front of her mother vs Livia on her own, that has made her aggressively misogynistic in a way so she will talk to her female classmates but probably believes most are pretty dumb and naive

Let's summarize a little. Livia presents herself as confident and charming but with a strong and honest character. She is pretty, can be sociable and likes to stand up for what she considers class (good manners, fair play but only when it suits her). Deep down she doesn't think well of many of her classmates, she not trust them but she knows how to hide it however she has no scruples about being cruel to people she doesn't tolerate and is incredibly capricious.

Now let's go to Juno Phipps. Juno for me is a mean girl yes but in the sense of spoiled princess, I think her mother died during the war due to an illness, and she only has her father, a man with a very important surname, who has given his daughter everything she wants, now she is totally unbearable and too delicate.

She doesn't know how to lose, she feels confused when people don't give her what she wants, and she complains easily. She is much more pleasant and social than Livia however, although few can stand her for more than 5 hours at a time. Juno also knows she is very pretty and will constantly take advantage of that, in fact, that is why she can be a princess, because boys are always willing to give her what she wants as long as she winks at them, but similar to Livia she is lonely at heart, this business of getting involved in gossip, being aware of the bad things others say about her and the bad things she knows she has said about others make she also shies away from trusting others with her most intimate feelings.

Considering this scenario I just thought it would be great to have them meet, because of course they do, they can't go unnoticed, they are not part of the same social circle constantly, their meetings are brief, almost by accident, but when they talk it's always easy because they have a lot in common, more than anyone would believe, and they feel connected.

I always joke that there are two types of lesbians before they come out, one is the type that aggressively hates men, and the other is the type that loves men but can never take them seriously, and I think Livia is the first type and Juno is the second, and I think that's also kind of striking because they've both seen each other in dresses and well groomed and have been each other's gay awakening (they think each other its MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN ALL ACADEMY AFTER THEMSELVES but no tell this to any!) but it takes them quite a while to get there, and in what they get there, both will have radically different opinions of how to relate to men.

Livia likes Juno but thinks she's an empty head for wasting up her time dating so many idiot boys, Juno will never understand why if Livia is so controlled every time she talks to a guy her patience is lost, all while they enjoy spending time together too much and are secretly obsessed with each other. There is also drama because of my opinion of the Capitol and homosexual relationships (I don't think it's seen as something positive within the upper class) and other issues I've made up about Juno being the mistress of the first lady Livia but I think this is a summary of how I did in my head all this toxic yuri…

[needyraincandy-u]

Diary: NEEDY GIRL

I don't want to go to school. I can't get along with anyone. Not with my classmates, not with my teachers. Everyone seems stupid to me. But I know that this feeling is wrong, and that if I were really smart, I should be able to fit in with the people around me.

In other words, I don't fit in.

I wonder if it's a defense mechanism that makes me look down on others. If I don't do that, I'll go crazy. I just have a strangely high sense of pride, no…maybe I'm just pretending to be proud. I'm just trying to convince myself that I'm not smart because I have different concerns than the average person…

I call the people in my class who communicate by talking about popular music and manga "shallow." I feel like I've gained individuality and intelligence just by knowing some minor works on the Internet that I hunted around to kill time…but honestly, I just love dark movies.

I can empathize with unfortunate people and fools who indulge in pleasure. Last night I watched "Requiem for a Dream". Ruining your life because of drugs is shit, but I can understand it. It's like life is boring if you're not drunk on something. I can understand that a billion times better than the stories of handsome guys and beautiful girls falling in love and getting together.

There's nothing. My life is simply nothing. I want to give a reason to this "nothingness," but somehow I perceive my upbringing and environment as excessively unfortunate, and I gradually mistake the convenient delusions that play out in my head for the truth, and that scares me.

Classrooms, parents, classmates, how intelligent I could be, income, social media, the opposite sex that approaches me, the same sex that is showing off…I'm vaguely afraid that trying to maintain myself by blaming others will lead to an irreparable mistake someday. But then I have to think that it's all my fault…yet, depending on how you look at it, I'm the culprit, being a lonely student addicted to my smartphone who hasn't taken any action is my fault.

I wish I could throw away my mistaken pride, admit that popular music and manga are actually interesting, and talk honestly, without thinking of those attempts at conversations as "fawning."

But I can't help thinking that.

Am I really that bad? Isn't it the fault of the adults who turned a blind eye? It's the fault of the people in my school who betrayed me, right?

I, I… I want to die, but if I say "I want to die" out loud, I'll become so shallow that I'll die. I can't stand if my emotions are labelled with an ordinary "troubled teenage girl A." The health teacher tapped me on the shoulder and said, "It's okay. There are good things in life, so let's do our best at our own pace!"

That's right. There are good things, aren't there? Let's think about fun things. I'm sure the teacher's life will be full of "fun events" in the future.

When I finish work and go home, my beloved lover might hug me. I might enjoy a slightly luxurious dinner with my friends.

Maybe the teacher also has to rely on psychiatric drugs in a pitch black room to make it through the morning. But it was the teacher who said there were fun things, so surely there must be a lot of fun things?

Like being drunk forever.

There are a lot of fun things, right? Your mother makes you an omelet rice. Your friend invites you to an amusement park. The manga you were reading becomes an anime. The people you hate get run over by a car. Your mother becomes kinder. The people you hate drown in the ocean. You awaken your psychic powers and are able to blow up the people you hate. You get everything from the bookstore. The people you hate get carried away and fall off a cliff. The people in the classroom, the adults…