#but also I need to pack some things
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When you wake up choosing violence because you want threads where your muse dies.
#{ behind the curtain } : ooc#it’s Saturday#I am trying to tell myself that I should work out#but also I need to pack some things#and working on fic today#and then queue
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Man why the Hell did Adler tell Bell they don't smoke anymore when we know that Bell DID smoke when we see the Trabzon shooting from their perspective. Adlers forcing Bell into the hell that is Nicotine withdrawal for shits and giggles apparently
#You could argue that because cigarettes fuck up your lungs and stamina he doesn't want Bell to have them because he needs them healthy#but that argument really flies out the window when you factor in that Adler ALSO smokes#it's the 80s really everyone smokes#so its more likely that this is some sort of fucked up control thing on Adler's part#this mf gets off on saying No to Bell I know it#bell's sitting there with the withdrawal jitters staring wistfully at the pack of cigarettes they can see sticking out if Adler's pocket#and Adler is purposely ignoring them#Park sneaking Bell a cig and telling them not to tell Adler...#Bell cod#Russell Adler#cod#cod cold war#cod cw#black ops cw#black ops cold war#call of duty black ops cold war
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i still have these laying around so....
very limited stock (i only have like 22 packs tho cloudy & two only have 21 stickers so ill give smth in place for the missing stickers!!) and they'll be selling for 15 bucks each pack!!
im just doing an interest check cuz i really wanna scrounge up some cash for a con i wanna go to next year ^_^ and also maybe christmas goodies ! who knows ! but yeah i had these laying around and im like shit shit i need to sell
(better pics of the designs too!)
they are clear stickers roughly 2" and you get em all! a whole pack of christmas joy! i might sell these on my ko-fi i just gotta get things set up and ill make a new post when im ready (scared)
AND ! to my friends & mutuals that see these stickers are REAAALLY want em by chance just msg me ^^!! we can make arrangements!! i can essentially ship these things as soon as i get the order n stuff (exaggeration but i would try n send em ASAP which would be at least a day)
#i know jnj literally dropped some merch already but fuck me i need to go to ANE ok#btw sorry for the radio silence on these things they just entirely left my mind ^^;#BUT im so glad i still got em even in such limited stock!!#and btw im not sure if ill be re-ordering these unless they sell out quickly or ppl show enough interest#so! uhm! ya!!#also u get a whole pack because I KNOW 4x would go out of stock and nobodys buying cloudy </3 maybe like a few SO you get em all ok#LOOL#tpot#christmas#bfb#bfdi#billion tags to get interest#nate.art
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Armand's simpering little "and I never have" has taken on new dimensions for me. Technicality king and also I think very in keeping with his whole malign fairy creature deal. You can tell him not to hurt the bae, but you should really specify what "hurt" entails. Is chopping someone's hands off really hurting them? If they have annoyed you very much I mean.
-questions Armand might pose to Lestat that inspire him to leave the country
#I do think the root of what makes Lesmad so funny is that it is literally the one of two times Lestat has displayed good sense in love#both times his mother was standing right there telling him what to do so take from that what you will#but lestat does enjoy negative attention and fucking around to find out and needling powerful entities who are enamored with him#it takes so much for him to say yes you're hot. but still no#you are too good at fucking will my head and too willing to take liberties with my body i don't like this#though iirc part of it was having experienced Armand's mind whammy he didn't want to leave him in proximity to Gabrielle#once again mommy issues carry the day#anyway#press says iwtv#I have a post percolating in my heart about the reversal of Gabby telling Lestat she just wants to die knowing he's safe in Paris with his#boyfriend#explicitly severing their codependent you're my other half my twin me but a man thing#and Gabby telling him to leave Nicki with Armand and run#but it's actually half a post that amounts to a) this too is a perversion brought on by living past your own death and#b) actually though it's her being a good mom in both instances#like probably the two times she most clearly manages that are#leave this place and me and live your own best life without guilt or shame#and leave your boyfriend who has had a psychotic break and hates you now. do not involve yourself with the sewer creature who is violently#obsessed with you.#she packed up her kid and she left! also did some other things but we don't need to talk about that#cw: incest#interview with the vampire
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sneeping with his legs up over his head for some reason... weird boye
#cats#love the second picture... skrungly sleepy well rested boye face...#since he's an elderly boy now sometimes when he wakes up from a nap he looks a bit scruffy and squinty eyed#Hard to beleive he's like 15 though.. he still looks like a kitten to me.. due to his giant round creature eyes and childlike demeanor#I think it's interesting that like... baby cats are babies. kittens are kittens. and you can tell a cat is like 'young adult' phase#looking from like a few months to maybe 1yr or 2yrs.. but after that they just always look the same to me#a 5 yr old cat is a 10 yr old cat is a 15 year old cat. unless the cat in question is particulalry aged or youthful#I still have so so little energy... it's been icy here this week. like not even FUN but just scary icy even thoguh i lOOOVE the cold#and its my favorite weather. I think it'd be okay actually if I had a woodburning stove/fireplace/hearth thing. literally thats my only#concern with the power going out. I genuinely don't mind stuff like having to go to the bathroom in buckets or cook over a fire or do other#less conveninet things. Its just that if eveyrhtng is electric then you have no way to cook and all of that. well.. and I literally need#background noise to go to sleep lest my ocd sprials become so loud I am slowly driven into maddness.. but a few battery packs or something#and a phone with one downloaded video I could play on repeat is fine for that. I dont need internet. ANYWAY.. so so sad that my fav#orite season ever (winter) is here. and the first cold of the winter is like... just an ice storm that you cant even walk in. I#love like 4 feet of snow where you can play in it and stuff. But just a thin flat sheet of a few inches of ice over every imaginable surfac#is not really playable. the wind speeds are so high and so many trees fall it's actually not that safe to go hang out outside anyway unless#you were in a totally clear open field. which is SAD also because i love ice and high winds. i love to stand out there and get whipped in t#he face with ice crystals and feel like I'm in some dramatic movie or something. but alas.. the threat of being attacked by a falling tree.#I did go out some but again it's like. literallyyou cant walk on it. so I just squatted and dragged myself along the ground lol#One of my stories has a whole section where the main characters are trapped in a deadly cold environment for a week and have to use magic#to survive and etc. etc. so I'm always like.. ouuu.. I should go in the ice.. it's Writing Research actually.. *foolishly gets frostbite*#THOUGH yesterday I went on a harrowing evil journey down a bunch of icy hilly roads to go check on some person's cat because the cat#had been left in the house for like 5 days at that point with nobody to check on them and nobody else seemed to want to do anything#about it (like call all of the neighbors or try to get someone out there) so I just went myself with a roommate who agreed to drive me.#It seemed acting totally normal and I gave it more food and water but.. I am still worried about it.. Apparently the person will be able#to get back to their house tomorrow but.. I dont trust them. But I couldnt take the cat with me because it's like.. a stranger's cat#basically and also no carrier + very skittish.. so I feared if I just tried to carry them bare handed they'd definitely leap from my grasp#and then it'd be like.. sliding on a sheet of ice chasing a cat and so on.. I still think they need to be watched for health issues tho >:|#ANYWAY.... many cat adventures lately... and strange weather... I wish for a normal week without always so many Things Happening.. augh
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when you light up your cigarette from another person's cig it's called the same thing as fucking them in finnish. and. i was drinking with a couple of friends last weekend and now that i think about it there is something funny about standing outside in the cold and having someone ask me to fuck them (= light their cig with mine) in front of their partner bc it's funny (said partner has also done the same to me). and we were all joking and being silly but both me and the partner are the kind of people that are fun to tease and make fun of bc 1. we dont mind 2. we find it funny usually 3. we unfortunately make it v easy, so. anyways i offer the end of my 2nd cig to the person whose cig i lighted earlier bc i wasnt feeling it and they had just declined a full cigarette from their partner bc that was too much at that moment so the partner was jokingly like "whyd you take leevi's cig but not mine" the the convo took a weird turn and ended up in two people who are standing on both sides of me patting my head and leaning on me while calling me a good boy. obviously it doesnt sound as hot in finnish but if i didn't already have a praise kink that would have awakened something in me
#im sorry i NEEDED to get this thing happening off of my chest#bc one of the people involved was someone my bestie cant stand so if i had explained this to her instead of posting here she would have mad#too many remarks about that person and i dont want that#though we did have a grest phone call yap session about other stuff today <3#anyways i left out some stuff from here i think this happened across 2 times of hanging outside on the same night#anyways it was funny#i have to say this was all doing jokingly in a nonserious manner but also most of us are ppl who flirt both accidentally and on purpose whe#drunk so. yknow. not flieting in a serious way though. its like. i dont want to call it smalltalk. u guys know what i mean#jokingly flirting with your friends#thats the phrase#ANYWAYS. ty for letting me get this off my chest#i can now sleep#leevi talks#edit also i dont really smoke it's only a social thing when drunk and about a pack a YEAR so it's fine and doesnt count
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I need the cost of international shipping to go down right now and I'm NOT joking........ please. 😊🙏
#i found some of those retro star trek 9“ figures/dolls with the detailed clothing and theyre only like $12 each.#but the shipping is like $50 PER FIGURE. 😨😨😨#and something something bc of the ebay international shipping program they cant do combined shipping and need to send them all off-#seperately anyway 😢😔#but yeah damn. theres some stuff over here in aus but most of the good stuff is from overseas#*gripping the bars of my enclosure* they have a jadzia figure available.... . . .#i cant manage to find her elsewhere. they also have bashir. i CAN find him here but the only listing is in a three pack with some minor-#characters for like $120 😭😭😭#grafftalk#delete later#sidenote does anyone know if there was ever a playmates brand quark 9-incher made...#ive had a little look around but all i can find are the new Mego brand ones#and the thing is like. well#idk how but they seemed to have really fucked up his face. 😭 it looks okay in a bunch of the model photos#but the actual thing in the pack you get is just. wrong. horrible. off. narsty...
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Fuchgenta??
#the tiny house i based my own blue print off of is for sale at 110000 across the country#if my ass weren't broke id hop on that and drive all the way over to get it#but also 110k for a tiny house on wheels is pretty outrageous especially when these things were originally marked at a cap of 65k#once upon a year now no one can afford them#i do want a home someday and I'm also finding I'm nomadic by nature#dream would be have a “home base” with land thats permanent#but as soon as winter comes i can pack up and move south or wherever is warmer for several months before returning#that would be great for minimizing fibro flares getting away from the cold#heck if remote work ends up getting me good money after i pay off a huge chunk of medical debt i wouldn't mind#being a digital nomad for a few months out of the year#go see people i like across the pond see pompeii see rome see ireland see spain see australia see japan#so many....#theres people that want to hear the pitter patter of tiny feet before they die#then theres me that wants to see all the cool ancient human things before it disappears or before i leave earth and go home#one of the few big fears i have is it wont happen in this life#but hey i didnt think i was gonna make it past 23 let alone make it to 32#i didnt think i was ever gonna get out of my abusive household and out of my old shitty life#but im here so who knows what could happen right?#not magenta or fuchsia but some other pink variation#i just need to roll out a pink color palette and start assigning emotions to them at this point 😂#magenta is my vent word#fuchsia is my vent word for good things#idk wtf this is its a combo
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Some Julie's and idk a little thingy for today
#welcome home#partycoffin#julie joyful#man i have a LOT to do#today was kind of a mess we were suppose to go to my aunts house but uh my mom sort of took long in storage so its too late#not a bad thing actually#we have a lot more things that can help us and i have my missing nintendo switch thats been gone for 2 (or more) years!#its missing one controller but its fine! we can get a new one for it (it been had one controller because my brother broke it ages ago)#time to unpack everything i packed and uh do more work?#i still need to finish that freeplay menu im working on for my buddys fnf mod#and also need tooooo post some art i made (some time when i make more)#i haven't had much time for making my own art of things i like#OH I FORGOT ABOUT MY ART PROJECT TOO#welp things are going bad#what else did i forget?#curse you terrible memory CURSE YOU BEING DISTRACTED EASILY CURSEEE YOU HAVING HARD TIME TO FOCUSS CURSEE YOU EVERY ISSUE I CANT THINK OF
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btw i am still alive now that i have recovered from swiftkirchen and i hope you are all doing super well this summer! i am FLYING through my reading list atm which is amazing and i am feeling more and more inspired for things (footballer!paz anyone? roommate!paz as well maybe?) so hmu in the inbox it is TIME TO THIRST
#this month has been so crazy#being an adult is constantly switching from bone deep exhaustion to fully packed calendars for social things#and i love the social things don't get me wrong but like#i need time to rot#i need time to stare out the window and daydream#and i have had the bEST scenarios come up in my head just before i fall asleep#(aka the main way i get any of my writing outlined lol)#but i have barely even opened my laptop in the past two weeks#never mind written anything down#anyway what i am trying to say is that i think this 'forced' break kind of got my muse going again#i am thinking of all the things and i even wanted to write a little bit for biker!Paz again which#let me tell you#has not happened in a LONG LONG time#also also#sarah made me the PRETTIEST BESTEST AWESOMEST friendship bracelets for calm and the one#and obv i am now thinking again of that other bodyguard!paz idea i had going in my brain that one time#cause i kind of forgot about The One???#but also did i ever tell you guys about the modern calmer au i was thinking of?#bc i had a weird/uncomfy rideshare experience recently#and nothing happened and i was never unsafe at any point#but boy oh boy do i think this would fit in that au#anyway#i know there are some asks in my inbox that i never got to so maybe i'll get to it today!#may rambles
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me when i have schoolwork but i simply want to be a creature on the computer
original meme
#my art#meme art#art of me#my fursona#more beast mode than usual but ya#i need someone who would earnestly play Wolf Quest with me. ideally with no vc. wolf communication only please.#i just need some good wolf rp to make that $20 price tag worth it. or a green wolf skin. thatd also maybe convince me to buy.#i do already own Meadow which is a similar game but extremely lacking in Things To Do. i think Realistic Wolf Pack Sim would be better.#or maybe i should just get back into minecraft rping. i do know of a sick dragon mod that i thiink has public servers. not sure tho. sigh.
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doing this amazing new thing called eating well EVERY DAY and drinking enough water EVERY DAY and trying to get a bit of a healthy walk in EVERY DAY and sleeping at least 7 hours EVERY DAY... and then looking at my Fitbit stats like a nerd to see what happens EVERY DAY... will let you know if anything interesting does happen
#because i need to take care of myself as well as my virtual pets and plants AT LEAST#but for some reason thats not nearly as fun#anyways fitbits are almost like gamifying self care to me#and so is reporting on things to my blog like a shitty scientist hahaha#i will say in the first few days of this my resting heart rate / heart rate variability has improved already#and i just feel better like. more steady with my energy/hunger and less thirsty for sure#my current meals are overnight oats + fruit and then like veggies and brown rice and chicken stir fries#just drinkin coffee and water and the occasional fresca#also some avocado eggs n toast if i want#not gonna lie i straight up asked ChatGPT to make me a meal plan that was healthy and not too expensive or hard to make hahaha#also one of my inspirations is watching the youtuber who makes bento boxes for her husband every day#i watch them as comfort asmr and they always make me want to cook something and pack a lunch#'imamu room' on YouTube seriously good stuff#i love the little catchphrase on her channel 'lets survive another week' hahaha#motivates me to want to DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN EVERY WEEK#p
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Going through a straight up comical amount of irritating situations to get the stupid 4* guaranteed ticket from the welcome to sekai campaign. It Will Be Mine.
#I’m resuming this tomorrow it’s been hours now I’m just mad#I’m home because my parents are moving to a different state and I needed to pack whatever was left#and for some reason we just keep old devices when we’re done with them#so I borrow an adapter to allow me to connect my ancient unworking iPad mini to my laptop#factory reset it. i have to reset an old email to access the old Apple id to fully reset it.#it won’t connect to the wifi so I have to reset the settings. i find out it’s too old to run pjsk.#i find an old phone that should work. i reset it as well. I’m able to download pjsk & it takes 20 minutes.#pjsk crashes everytime I try to open it. i attempt to run bluestacks on my computer. bluestacks doesn’t have 64 bit for mac yet.#i get a free trial of parallels and download windows onto my laptop. this takes 40 minutes.#i try to download and run bluestacks on that. m1 macs apparently can’t run bluestacks 64 bit through parallels.#i go find the final old phone that I had forgotten about. it takes forever to charge because the charging port is fucked up. i reset it as#well. it can’t connect to wifi. i try a hotspot on my current phone. service is too awful. i try to do wifi sharing from my laptop.#you have to be connected to the router via a cable for that to work.#at this point it has been like 3 hours. I’m giving up because I’ve been down this route before#when I attempted to run 32 bit steam games on m1 mac#(wine64 doesn’t exist for m1 macs yet -> attempt to run boot camp -> boot camp isn’t a thing anymore on Apple silicon -> attempt to run#several different programs that allow me to run windows on a mac. none of them work. ->#look into linux & give up. -> attempt to implement the unfinished/unbottled wine64 code thru terminal. ->#fuck up and delete some important file & have to fix that (misery inducing) -> keep trying. i think I downloaded a Mac coding program at#some point? i realize I have zero coding knowledge and this is a mistake. -> give up and purchase crossover. game doesn’t even work. ->#3 months later update to the latest OS so I can have enough storage to play psychonauts 2. find out the $60 crossover#purchase was a bad idea because ‘heehee crossover doesn’t work on that buy the new version’ (fuck crossover).#my toxic trait is my belief that I can figure out anything via google and sheer stubbornness. usually this is true. occasionally there are#exceptions to this rule. most of them are because owning Apple products is a mistake.#i think if I reset the router tomorrow I can solve this problem but I can also just go elsewhere with better service or wait until I’m home#now it’s a matter of pride. and also free 4*/I have nothing better to do because I’m stuck here until Tuesday.#<- this is all normal behavior by the way. who doesn’t spend 8 hours ramming their head against a problem every once and a while. enrichment#mine#oh I forgot. i also looked into cloning the app but that would cost money for something that might not even work.#‘just log out and make an alt’ and risk losing my account? I’m stupid enough to overwrite it on accident.
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i dont trust any big scale production of animal products but i think free range organic eggs is the best i can do cause i dont know anyone with hens that can sell me eggs on a regular basis. That would be good though if i could get in contact with a small hen farm. Also are eggs bad for you im only doing this if its good for my body nothing else
#some ppl are like eggs r so bad cholestrol etc others r like nothing is more nutrient packed and the cholestrol thing is a myth idk#I feel quite guilty about this idk if ill be able to do it#Im going to eat mussels too…feel scared to do that#I dont think im changing anything else though#Cause ive decided no dairy products and no fish and definitely no other animals#Oyesters lmao but im scared and they r alive when u eat them yuck#Also whats it called the like eggs in shrimp and fish etc#Theres a great vegan alternative but probably doesnt have the same nutrients#Its called like roe in english?#Hm i should eat more nuts and seeds also#Maybe more greens#I wonder what else#i rlly should eat fish and meat…if i reallt wanna do this..#Like i just know thats the best thing for my body#Oh yeah yeah heart diseases whatever yeah probably#But like. Some. I dont mean a lot i just mean enough to get some good iron and stuff#I feel like my hair needs red meat. Lmao#But im not going there#…#i cant..#I dont want animals to die but then im like. Its natural. Its the way of life you die so i can live#Im only considering hunting like animals from hunting now#No way im eating industrial beef
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this happens to me like. every day.
#fnaf#charlie chatterbox#please god free me#help me to make better financial decisions 😔🙏#i just get#obsessed with a new weird niche fnaf merch item every day and like#make it my mission to track it down and own it#i dont need these things. i dont need to be doing this#this is from the grab n go mystery packs made by phatmojo i believe? anyway ive got two in the mail#now im getting obsessed with the snaps figures#i didnt realize it has actually been a blessing that every other fandom ive been in has had like. no official merch up to this point#home/stuck vld ok/ko tma NO MERCH#there is some sort of addicting chemical in receiving a little totem of your blorbo in the mail….#and just putting them on your desk and staring at them#if they ever release any gr bonnie merch im literally doomed#because anything they release ill have to buy a freddy buddy for him#and if i get a freddy well i should have a monty too to complete the polycule#but then it’d be fucked up not to get chica and roxy…….#and at that point i should also get the vanny to have the whole set and lets be real the vanny piece is usually the best one in any lot anyw
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I slept so much today AND we're falling back tomorrow so I get even more time to sleep AND I'm only working at caregiving job this month so my work is going to be contained to regular business hours <3 <3 <3
#a sock speaks#work tag#migraine? I don't know her#obviously this doesn't guarantee that I will sleep well but my chances are so much better#on the other hand I am going to need more meal planning or else I'll run into trouble there#at restaurant job I can just show up without eating first if I need to and just get some mozzarella sticks to eat when I get a free moment#for caregiving job I can maybe prepare a snack to eat at a client's house but I feel so awkward eating there#so if it's under 4 hours I'm probably not going to#and bc of my (not quite ARFID but bordering on it at some points in the past) picky eating I struggle with cold packed lunches#then I also have training this month in the afternoons#Zoom some days and in person other days#and the sessions are like 3-4 hours long so I assume there will be breaks but I need to plan so I don't crash#I think I'll usually have time to come home for lunch if I have things that are quick to microwave. worth the trip I think.
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