#but also >:) if you spend too much time fawning over one particular love interest he'll get rid of them

[merakiui]

Can we hear more thoughts on self-aware skully in a halloween-themed otome?? I think it's such a fun concept! Thinking of him, loving us knowing that he will never have us<33

:D the basic idea is that the love interests are everyone in TNBC event and it focuses on you and them planning the perfect Halloween celebration alongside the residents of Halloween Town. Spend a week getting closer to and raising the affection meter of your beloved and perhaps he might confess on Halloween night under a brilliant moon! <3

Skully is a side character who is merely there to progress the plot; he doesn't have any real route for himself, nor does he have any of the mechanics the other characters have (affection meters). But if he did perhaps he might be the secret yandere route most otome games have...

Unfortunately, most of his scenes with you are very short and he's often there to make the love interest shine brighter. When Leona warns you not to listen to a fanatic like him, that only misfortune can come from readily believing everything he says, it's meant to make you fall for Leona and his protective charm. Or when Jamil asks Skully if he's doing okay when he notices how downcast he seems, it's to make you fawn over how considerate and observant he appears. But all of this is just part of pre-programmed characteristics. It's all part of a script. Skully plays his part in this drama, almost like a ghost as he floats through whichever route you choose to pursue, and with every replay he begins to realize there's more beyond the world he's confined to.

You can't actually like these characters, right? They're just caricatures. They're programmed to fall for you, but Skully's love for you is a natural progression! It's real. Sure, you click through some of his dialogue when it's too long, but please don't ignore him. >_< surely you don't agree with the others on their idea for Halloween! You think a somber Halloween is better, right? One that's quiet and solemn. One that's meant for reflection. One that's better spent alone. He knows you're a sweet, considerate person at heart. Surely you share his feelings on this matter.

The game has a feature where one of the love interests will visit you each day you log in during the seven-day timeframe, and it gives you chances to either raise or lower their affection meter when you interact with them. Imagine your surprise when Skully, who isn't a love interest and thus shouldn't be here, forces himself into the spotlight, hoping to have a private chat with you. He's so excited! Oh, what should he say? He isn't confined by the laws of the script, so he can say and do whatever he wants! It's how he's able to be so much more expressive than the other characters.

You watch in surprise as the blank bubble fills with a dialogue you've never encountered before:

Lovely person beyond the screen, I greet you with a kiss! Allow me to remind you of what the real Halloween is.

[skyeslittlecorner]

Thoughts on Orias' event

I try to pretend that I have already cooled down and stopped howling with delight at the sight of the boys from Hades. Okay, I'm not very good at lying. They. are. gorgeous. So, ekhm. Some loose thoughts about what we know. No serious analysis this time, just my happy rambling.

Spoilers under cut!

Devils can lie

Earlier it was hinted between the lines, now we have official confirmation. Orias and Leviathan sure know how to lie.

Here is a suggestion that Foras can do it too.

On the one hand, my and my biased heart are happy that he is special, on the other hand, I think I would rather not know what he went through to learn how to lie. On an unbiased note, it would be interesting if all the nobles of Hades could lie.

Nobles stick together

It's a little thing I noticed. In Avisos we are often mentioned that seeing more than one noble at a time is an unusual thing. Meanwhile in Hades…

A large part of the event is from Foras' perspective, and how was I supposed to be calm?

We see that the boys often spend time together on patrols. Their relationship is also delightful. Foras doesn't like Glasyalabolas, and it's not mutual. Look.

Glasyal you bully, I love you lmao

Barbatos is gorgeous (even more so without clothes, but please, not on patrol).

Either way, it looks like they spend a lot of time together. They give so much siblings' energy.

AND THIS

I died. I didn't know I needed Barbatos saying fuck, but now I need him for my life. So hot of him.

Orias age

We have information that Orias is older than Leviathan…

…but this is information from biased, unconfirmed sources. Nobles only know rumors. I believe that Lucifer is the oldest. He's an angel, he makes sense. But when it comes to Orias, I would trust Leviathan more here.

I want to draw attention to this one quote in particular:

We know that devils get old. The stronger, the slower. But this suggests that Orias has been artificially aged.

Especially since the angels also refer to him as a kid.

+ it is interesting that they were taken for the same experiment.

Don't know what to call it, just some sexy guys ahead

Enough with serious topics, time to get back to silly things!

We've seen Satan's anger spreads to his subordinates, we've also seen it with Mammon's greed, so it's no wonder Leviathan's jealousy has the same strength. However, Levi's second main thing, his punishment, doesn't seem to be going as well as he dreamed.

They are terrible, I love them. No wonder the cavalry from Tartaros comes for us in Ch5, the guys from Gehenna would still shake hands with Hades. By the way, Hades and Genenna really seem to have the most similarities.

Hot.

Also, their devotion is insanely sweet. Leviathan isn't even truly in danger and they've already summoned their coffins to protect him.

But let's get to the cherry on the cake. You know what else is hot? We are in hell, it should be warm in here, but oh lord- I expected boiling lava, not a walking embodiment of perfection.

I totally agree with Glasyalabolas and his fourth wall breaking. JUST LOOK.

The smirk of this proud asshole. The fact that he is little known in heaven simply because he leaves no survivors to tell about him. And how much he smiles during this event. And how gently he treats Orias.

This event shows his soft heart and that's why I'm here. I'm glad that we don't see this side of him right away, in the chapter, and he only shows true himself with someone he really knows and cares about. Even if he does it his own way. This event, his attacker comic and his selfie comic, how he behaves towards heaven farm survivor and his childhood friends.

Final thoughts

Let's end this here before I start fawning over him even more. Of course, there was much more here. Even out of chronicler's duty, I would like to mention:

While escaping, Leviathan made a pact with his monster

There are beads in the hearts of angels that, when eaten, keep Orias young

Orias himself, if he didn't eat angel hearts, would age into a mummy in a week

Barbatos is secretly Sailor Moon or Winx or other magical girlie

This is how he dressed himself with his vines, prove me wrong.

Leviathan calls Glasyalabolas cute. Agree.

Orias calls Foras a child. It just sounds like a much older person addressing a younger colleague. And you know how much I agree

Astaroth mentioned (another point to the relationship between Hades and Gehenna)

Cherubs with their New Heaven are mentioned

That's all I remember for now. If you're curious about more things, @/thrones-of-buer collected here a lot of points from the event. I agree with a lot of them, and they're definitely interesting to check out. And here a whole report from the event from @/jazeswhbhaven so if you're hungry for more, head over there!

[triptychgrip]

Story Preview: The Katsuki-Nikiforovs review the comments on their jointly written friends-to-lovers/role-reversal fanfic

“Just half an hour ago, he whipped out an annoyingly good quad flip, and now he’s fawning over dog costumes like the biggest dork in Japan,” Yuri mumbled incredulously, before peering up at him. “The duality of man, or whatever. Catch you later, Katsudon.”

Yuuri laughed and waved at him before walking over to Viktor, reflecting all the while on how elatedly his husband had reacted when he’d asked him back in April if he’d be open to co-writing a fanfic together. Though he wouldn’t change a single thing about their own love story, the idea of a world in which he had been the “Living Legend” of figure skating before dropping out of sight at the peak of his career to become a coach was endlessly fascinating.

At first, Yuuri had thought about just writing the fic himself and surprising Viktor with it, but when he’d found himself stumped by a few key framing questions, it had occurred to him that the activity might be a fun way for them to bond.

In retrospect, it seemed silly when he recalled how nervous he’d been to make the request of Viktor in the first place.

Though he’d initially been worried that his love had only wanted to humor him, the din of his intrusive thoughts had been quelled almost immediately. Indeed, the night after they’d first started drafting the outline of what eventually became Put It In Reverse For Thirst, he’d been awoken the next morning with a steaming cup of coffee, an indulgent stack of syrniki, and an extensive Pinterest board of images – including some extremely NSFW (not to mention logistically impossible) fanart of them making out on top of a zamboni – to inspire them as they continued to brainstorm.

Feeling his heart flutter with fondness at the memory of Viktor’s eagerness, Yuuri quickened his pace, grinning at how he was so preoccupied with his phone that he didn’t even sense his approach.

Grabbing him in a hug from behind, he giggled at the squeak Viktor let out when he pressed a kiss to his shoulderblade and smushed his face into his warmup jacket.

—

The above is an excerpt of the companion story to my 5 chapter Yuri!!! on Ice “fic within a fic”: a story in which Yuuri and Viktor read aloud and attempt to roleplay the fanfic they co-write about how Coach/Living Legend Katsuki Yuuri finally gets together with his best friend (and student), Viktor.

If you’ve read it, you might remember that due to the very eros environment that takes over, the Katsuki-Nikiforovs didn’t quite manage to stick to the (tamer) events of their sappy/smutty fic (titled Put It In Reverse For Thirst, and yes, I purposely leaned into just how on the nose that pun is).

I'd always intended to write a part 2 of the series which would cover their uploading their story to Archive Of Our Own and going through the comments together, and I was particularly thrilled to find out that there is an awesome guide that shows you how to mimic the look of the ao3 interface for this very meta purpose; see the screenshot of fake comments that I made, above.

I’m having a blast writing this second part and leaning even more into the meta nature of this story -- in particular, I am spending WAY too much time coming up with fun ao3 usernames and icons...see Haru from Fruits Basket up above! -- which will feature Yuuri and Viktor learning the lesson that us fanfic writers eventually all learn: someone out there on the internet will always have a problem with your work. LOL. Luckily, they are there to comfort one another and also to laugh and get silly around the comments they receive.

I'm aiming to get part 2 out in the next two weeks, so I hope you’ll read part 1 and subscribe to the series overall if this piques your interest!

[yungchaeng]

Roommates (Twice series: Chaeyoung)

III: Grass genre: fluff - word count: 3414 content warning: detailed marijuana use in the latter half of the chapter

chaeyo.0: cool shirt, new hair, same me

Chaeyoung had posted a photo you took of her during lunch, showing her new hair-do. Finally, you found out about her online presence when she asked you for your account in order to tag you in the photo.

Her Instagram was…interesting. It was quite cool and alternative. It emphasized her love for art with some posts of her own works, or pieces she admired. There was the occasional mirror selfie, but also a bunch of random pictures of her like one where she stared off into the distance with a strawberry in her mouth.

Yes, it was odd. But you couldn’t help but smile at her feed. It represented her very well. And you grinned at the thought that you now had a place on her feed as well.

In the midst of your fawning over your roommate and her Instagram profile, you locked eyes with a random guy on the other side of the library that was probably wondering what was making you smile like an idiot by yourself. You shot him an awkward tight-lipped smile and quickly buried your head back into your book in embarrassment.

You were supposed to be studying for multiple exams and writing essays which was why you were in the library in the first place. However, concentration didn’t come easy as your mind kept wandering to a specific place, a specific person.

You and Chaeyoung were cool. Whenever you both were home, it was comfortable and never really awkward which you were glad about. You hung out and there was always a light-hearted vibe which you liked, but it was always short-lived as she always seemed to be going somewhere. Sometimes she was already gone by the time you woke up and sleeping when you came back from the library.

Although you two didn’t spend as much time together as you were hoping you could, she did have her ways to occupy your mind during the day. Some days she’d randomly send you artworks, clothes she saw on Pinterest that reminded her of ‘your style’ and most days you’d be flipping through your notebook in class and she’d left a little doodle on the corner of a page, probably when you left it open on your desk.

But you didn’t mind thinking about her this much. In fact, you liked it – a little too much.

Seemingly out of your control, your hand wandered back over to your phone that was still open on your roommate’s Instagram page.

“Hey there,” a voice sounded out, saving you from the rabbit hole you were bound to fall in again looking at Chaeyoung’s Instagram.

Nayeon plopped down on the seat next to you with her own roommate sitting next to her. You had grown close to both Nayeon and Jeongyeon over the past few weeks. As they have been at the college longer than you they could help you out and their chaotic dynamic together was always entertaining to you, so you were at their place quite often.

“How’s studying going? Or should I ask how insta-stalking your roomie is going?” Nayeon asked.

“Oh my god, I wasn’t insta-stalking.” You blushed under Nayeon and Jeongyeon’s knowing smirks. “She tagged me in a post, so I wanted to like it…”

“A post of 138 weeks ago?” Jeongyeon quipped, gesturing to the particular post that was open on your screen.

“Ah, shut up.” You pleaded, defeated. Maybe if you lay face down on the table for long enough they would go away?

“What are we talking about?” The voice of your classmate and friend Jihyo chimed in, chirpy as always. She joined the table with another one of your classmates, Momo, completing the small group of people you usually hung out with.

“Someone here has a little crush on their roommate.” Nayeon sing-songed, nudging you in the process.

“Jeongyeon?” Momo asked, genuinely confused.

“Ew, no.” The said girl grimaced teasingly.

“Whatever, I’m out of your league anyway.” Nayeon shrugged and stuck her tongue out at Jeongyeon. “But no, I’m talking about this one here.” She pointed to you.

“Ah, is that the one that make little love drawings for you during class?” Jihyo teased.

“Oh my god, love drawings? You don’t tell me anything, do you?” Nayeon feigned offense and slapped your arm.

“Ship.” Momo simply stated while rummaging through her bag for something to eat.

“I’m your mentor, you know? I should be helping you through these moments in life.” Nayeon went on.

“You’re my mentor. Not my mom.”

“Mom, older sister, mentor, same difference.” The older girl shrugged. “But tell me all about this Chaeyoung!”

And so you did. You firmly stood your ground that you weren’t crushing on the girl. However, seeing your friend’s smirk as you told them about her interests, habits, cute gestures and whatever else you rambled about, you knew they weren’t believing that for a second. Honestly, you slowly were coming to terms with it yourself.

The girl’s teased you relentlessly over your soft spot for the girl, but didn’t seem to know her in the way you did as they said they wouldn’t expect you to be into such a ‘rebel type of girl’.

You understood that she seemed that way though. The tattoos, her slight introvertedness and a slight air of mysteriousness that followed her would make it logical that she would be some sort of hard-ass. However, you knew that that idea disappeared when she smiled at you.

No rebel without a cause could have a smile as sweet as hers. Impossible.

“Okay,” you sighed. “Maybe I do have a bit of a crush on her then.” The table was silent, your friends simply giving you a look.

“Anyone surprised?” Momo broke the silence followed by a string of laughs and shaking of the heads of your other friends.

After what seemed like ages of teasing you, you and your friends all got back to studying. You were surprised at how much faster it was to do your schoolwork with them – it was probably more efficient anyway since you couldn’t distract yourself thinking about Chaeyoung without getting called out for it. Before you knew it, you were done typing up your last essay and were packing your bag to go home.

And boy, you couldn’t wait to get home. You had been fantasizing about diving into your bed as soon as you got back all day and that was exactly what you did when you walked through the door. You groaned into your pillow, releasing all the pent-up stress from being busy with schoolwork for so long.

Much to your surprise, Chaeyoung walked through the front door and paused at the sight of you. It seemed like neither of you expected the other home at this time, but it was a pleasant surprise.

“Hey?” she said, a look of amusement on her face. “You’re back so early.”

“Yeah,” a sigh escaped your lips as you looked at her. “I’m finally done with all the deadlines, which is good…but now I just hope I did well.”

“Aw,” she cooed. “Don’t worry. You worked so hard, so it’s definitely going to be okay.” Your roommate moved over to her own bed and lied down, looking over at you with care in her eyes. “Are you stressed?”

“Yeah, a bit I guess…”

She simply hummed in response and thought for a second. “I think I might know something that could calm you down?” Chaeyoung bit her lip and in a split second she walked over to her desk and rummaged through the top drawer. You watched her pull out a little plastic bag from it, with something inside that you couldn’t quite make out yet. When she sat next to you on your bed you realised.

“Chaeyoung, is that…” you lowered your voice to a whisper and scanned the room as if you two weren’t the only two in it, “marijuana?”

Your roommate chuckled at your antics, “Yeah, it is.”

You fixated on the green bud in the plastic bag. “Is that even allowed in here?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged with a mischievous smile, “probably not, but no one is here to stop us, right?” She had a point and you thought for a second. “But please,” Chaeyoung locked eyes with you as she went on. “No pressure, alright? It’s just a suggestion, okay?”

Maybe it was her genuine expression, the residual stress you still felt from school or simply just your curiosity, but you decided. “Okay, fuck it. Let’s do it.”

“Cool,” she simply said with a smile.

You watched her as she walked over to the kitchen table and took out some stuff from a little bag next to her bed and took the bud from it’s plastic bag. You weren’t sure what exactly she was doing but she seemed like such an expert at doing it. Before you knew it, the little bud had been rolled into a joint and you looked on fascinated.

You didn’t realize you were biting your lip watching her lick the paper as the last step until her eyes met yours when doing it. It was the quickest you have ever looked away from anything, but you still managed to catch her smirk at you. You awkwardly cleared your throat as you felt yourself blushing.

Chaeyoung had moved your desk chairs over to the open window and you sat down next to her. “Have you ever smoked before?” she asked. You shook your head and rubbed your arm. “Do you know how to?” When you shook your head once again, she smiled. “Okay, that’s fine. I know a way that might be chill for you.”

She explained that there was a way for you to smoke by her inhaling it first and transferring it over to you in some kind of way. You had no clue what she was talking about, but trusted her when she told you “Just inhale when I guide you to, okay?” Chaeyoung got up from her chair and stood in front of you. She cupped her hand to shield from the wind as she struck her lighter.

As she was so focused on that, you took the chance to look at her. She wore sweatpants and a cropped t-shirt, stained with what was probably paint or ink of some sort. You couldn’t help but check her out. Her hair in somewhat of a messy bun, cheeks rosy from the cold wind on her, her clothes showing off her mid-riff and soft tummy…

As if she could read your mind and your deepest desire, she came closer to you. Chaeyoung lowered herself to face you by going on her knees in front of you and placed her hands on your thighs. Your breath hitched as she leaned into you and she softly tapped you. Taking that as the said signal, you closed your eyes and tentatively inhaled the smoke coming from her parted lips.

When you opened your eyes they met the worrying eyes of your roommate. “Are you alright?”

You nodded. The feeling of smoke in your lungs was definitely something you had to get used to. Then it was as if everything hit you all at once. Chaeyoung’s hands still on your thighs, her scent, her face only inches away from yours, her presence, her lips. Everything. “Wow. Yeah, but wow.”

Chaeyoung only laughed and the sound and it sounded like music in your ears. Chaeyoung helped you the same way a few more times and a combination of the weed and her proximity to you made you feel lightheaded in an odd, but good way. You rest your back in your chair, letting the pleasant wave of euphoria wash over you.

“Relax, okay?” she instructed and sat back down in her own chair. “and let me know if you need anything.”

You pouted and held your tongue. What you wanted was for her to come closer again, but that would be silly to say, right?

“Tell me about your day.” She said, taking a hit for herself. In your mind her eyes bore right through you. You don’t know if it was just the weed, but it felt like the first time you truly had someone’s full attention in order to talk about something as mundane as your day.

So you did as told. Told her about your school assignments, procrastinating in the library and your friends joining you (you skipped over them teasing you ofcourse). You even rambled on about the smallest detail, until you saw her smiling to herself. “Oh my god, should I stop talking?”

“No, don’t.” she reassured and leaned her back against the wall, eyes closed. “Your voice is very soothing.”

You internally thanked the gods for her eyes being closed so she couldn’t see you blush. “It feels like I’ve been talking for hours…”

Chaeyoung took her phone out and chuckles slightly. “Yeah, that’s the weed.” She said and showed you on her screen that only five minutes had passed. “And even if you were, I wouldn’t mind.”

Honestly, you wouldn’t mind talking to Chaeyoung for hours either. The idea of having a moment like this with her last for so long actually brought a giddy smile to your face, one that you didn’t even mind hiding.

“You know, for someone who’s kind of quiet you have a good way with words.” You remarked earning a giggle from your roommate.

Chaeyoung giggled “Thanks, I guess?”

“Anyway, the floor is yours. Talk to me.” You slouched down in your seat and closed your eyes, awaiting her voice to fill the room.

She talked about her day with a smile, describing how she went to an art studio with some friends to paint and listen to music together.

“Is that where you always are?” you cocked your head to the side, “You’re not actually here very much.”

“Aw, did you miss me?” she teased. You held your tongue as you felt yet another blush coming on. Due to the embarrassment you felt of her being kind of right, you only managed to playfully roll your eyes at her. “Yeah, I guess. Either there or in the library or something.” She went on (thankfully). “I noticed you were heavy on all your school work for the past week or so, so I didn’t want to, like, distract you or anything.”

You paused for a beat. You wanted to tell her that there was no problem and that she wasn’t distracting you at all, but from the few times that you actually did study when she was home, you knew that you would be a lie. After reading every other word, your mind drifted to her and what she could be thinking or doing on the other side of the room. You couldn’t help but glance at her every now and then and admire her.

When you thought she wasn’t looking, you peeked at her. Looked at her reacting to videos on her phone and smiled at the way her eyebrows furrowed then or happily sighed at the sound of her soft giggles. Or when she was furiously typing away on her laptop you yearned to ask what she was doing, just to hear her voice fill the room again.

Had she noticed that? Is that why she left? Was it weird? Is that why she kept leaving? Were you being weird right now?

Omg, say  s  o  m  e  t  h  i  n  g  

“Oh,” you simply let out.

The other girl burst out laughing and you weren’t sure why. She held onto her stomach and actually folded over in laughter. And for some reason, you couldn’t help but laugh with her. After you both laughed for what seemed like ages she wiped happy tears brimming at her eyes. “You were thinking for so long, and you had the shortest reaction.”

“I think my brain might have just glitched,” you chuckled.

“No worries.” the other girl smiled. “Anyway, you should come with me to the art studio sometime. It’s really pretty, plus I think my friends would really like you too.”

“Sounds like a plan.” You smiled.

The two of you talked longer, every minute felt like an hour and you enjoyed all of it. You learned so much more about Chaeyoung. You watched with adoration as she described the intricacies of “Girl” by The Internet and explained to you why it was her favourite song at the moment. You admired her as she went on and on about Justin Bieber, trying (and failing) to hide her inner Belieber. You smiled as she told you about a new spider tattoo she planned on getting on her hand and you laughed at how she cringed when telling you about her first kiss.

You were enthralled by her. Captivated.

“I could go for some food, how about you?” she randomly spoke up, breaking a small silence that had fell. She stood up and walked towards the kitchen area.

“You read my mind.” You muttered as you shuffled behind her.

“Good,” she chuckled. “I got some Ramyeon.” she smiled bright and held the noodle packs next to her head.

“Ah, it’s my favourite flavour as well!” you exclaimed.

“I know, I noticed you preferred it over the others. So I buy mostly this one now.” Your roommate casually said as she prepared the food. “You’re right. It’s really good.”

“Oh my god, Chaeyoung. You’re such a sweetheart.” You let out, admiring your roommate. She laughed at your remark and you went on, “I can’t believe I was intimidated by you at the start?”

The other girl burst out into laughter when you spoke, “Ah, you make my day. Me? Intimidating?” she put her hand against her chest and raised an eyebrow, acting offended. However, she quickly composed herself and turned the amused look on her face into the most adorable wannabe gangster one you have ever seen. “I mean, yeah, as you should.” She cutely quipped.

“Shut up, chae.” You slapped your roommate’s shoulder. “You’re not fooling anyone.”

When the food was ready you ate, going on and on about how this was the best Ramyeon you had both ever tasted – although that was probably just due to the munchies. Both of you were sitting on your roommate’s bed, still talking while tiredness was slowly taking over. Your voices had gotten lower and you had somehow, someway slowly found comfort being close to each other. Chaeyoung sat up against her bed frame and you rested your head against her shoulder. From this position, a seemingly permanent smile was plastered on your face as you got lost in her eyes.  

You were taking turns asking each other random questions, being stubborn and trying to avoid falling asleep. “what is your ideal date?” she had asked you. It was a good question. Not one you had really thought about before.

“I don’t really know actually,” you admitted. “Having a bite to eat with them would definitely be on the list. Maybe also do something cool before or after? Like visit a concert, or an aquarium or something – I don’t know. I also enjoy the arcade. I always used to go on my birthday when I was younger.”

“That sounds fun.” Chaeyoung said. You could hear it in her voice, she was tired too. “When is it actually, your birthday?”

“Saturday.” You said, mindlessly snuggling up closer to your roommate.

“What? So soon?” the other girl said, slightly taken aback. “were you going to tell me this?” she jokingly quipped.

“ah, no big deal.” You replied through a yawn.

You didn’t know if it was an after effect of the weed or the comfort you felt laying on Chaeyoung’s shoulder, but it felt like you had never been as tired as you were at that moment. However, stubborn as you were, you didn’t want the night to end.

“I disagree.” The other girl muttered under her breath. She looked down and chuckled at you fighting your natural urge to close your eyes. “You’re tired.”

“I’m good.” You tried.

Your roommate swung her arm over you, pulling you closer into a more comfortable position. “uhm,” she started tentatively. “you’re welcome to stay with me tonight…I mean, if you want.”

You melted in the comfort of her grip, and through the tiredness you managed to smile at her. “yeah, I’d like that.”

And just like that, you closed your eyes and another day was gone.

[undead-merman]

🧜‍♂️MerMay- The Brothers🧜‍♂️GN Reader- SFW

Lucifer

Appearance

Lucifer has a long black tail with a hint of a royal blue striping on the back. His scales are smooth and small, ganoid shaped and are completely flat. A few black scales are on his face, just at the corner of his eyes giving them a sharper appearance and forming a diamond shape on his forehead. There is one scale slightly out of place on his diamond mark; it's not noticeable unless seen close up.   

His fins are long and flowing and are in the shape of rounded spades. He has a tear on his dorsal fin which goes all the way through the fin and has a scar on his back. His caudal fin is the largest on his body and has a peacock like pattern that can be flushed making the colors go from the normally black with barely visible blue to bright flashy blues, and reds on deep blacks.

His human skin is colored like a great white shark: creamy light skin on his stomach, fading to grey on his back; granting him the ability to countershade and aid in avoiding detection from above and below.

His face exhibits many shark features: broad and round head, small eyes, his mouth is filled with large teeth, and a flat nose.

Daily life

He’s very broody so he prefers the twilight and night hours; being accustomed to swimming in the deep parts of the ocean, too much light hurts his eyes but he also just enjoys the dark endless water with starlight above.

He has a very strict schedule, patrolling his nest, fighting off intruders, meeting up with Diavolo to hunt, clean up his brother's messes, patrol, try to sleep and get interrupted by one of his brothers if not more, and repeat.

He’s a carnivore so he enjoys eating whales, and sharks. He dislikes crabs and lobsters since they’re bottom feeders and he finds the idea of eating them very distasteful. 

He’s meticulous with grooming himself. He’s always sharpening his claws and forever growing teeth, picking them and cleaning them until they gleam in the light and buffing his scales to make them shimmer. 

When alone he enjoys trying to nap amongst a peaceful patch of seagrass. Drifting away slowly as curious little fish swim around him and the plant life softly brushes by with the current. 

He enjoys playing the violin, which surprisingly works, making melodies that haunt divers unfortunate enough to hear.  

Life with you

If you're a morning person you’ll get to see his sleeping unguarded face. He’ll try to wake up with you once he realizes, and within a few weeks he’ll be waking up far before you. He somehow has a built-in clock wired to try and make him wake up before you.

If you're a night person he’s thrilled to share some of the prettiest sights the ocean has to offer when the moon is out. Showing you his favorite spots to enjoy the night in silence. 

He becomes very protective of you and constantly scents you before leaving your side. Rubbing his palms on your cheeks or circling his tail loosely around you before brushing up on you as he swims away. No one will dare come near you if you smell so much like him.

He hates to admit it but he has the natural instinct of him bringing shiny things to you. He won’t even notice it until he pulls your hands in his and suddenly you have a shiny piece of sea glass in your hand. His face heats up if you tease him about it and suddenly he finds a speck on the wall very interesting.

Mammon

Appearance

As golden as gold can look, being actual gold, Mammon has the boldest scales of all the brothers. He’s not sure why they are, they’ve just always been that way and their weight doesn’t seem to be affected. His scales are ctenoid and can cut if he flares his scales and hits you with his tail. He doesn’t have any scales on his face and his skin seems to glow in the morning sun. 

His fins are exactly like that of a long spined sea scorpion with them having large painful spines inside them. Unlike the other fish he has a painful venom that can leave someone reeling in pain for days. It won’t kill but it’ll hurt!

He has two sets of canines that are very noticeable when he opens his mouth to talk. His upper right canine tooth has a gold coating making the tooth look like it’s made of gold. The top pair always hang out of his mouth while the lower one is hidden. 

He has shorter nails more meant for prying than slashing. Though they’re surprisingly well manicured and painted white.

Daily life

100% a morning person. Wakes up all groggy but after brushing his scales he's peppy and ready to start the day.

Mammon hoards his shedded scales, after all they are gold. He puts them in an old vintage submariner foot locker, nearly rotted apart but he sticks random stickers or patches onto it to help keep it together. A lot of the time the brothers will just take the money they are owed from the chest and Mammon whines about it; however, if they're pissed they’ll pluck some scales from him painfully.

His scales get plucked often: by the sea witches to whom he owes a massive debt to, his angry brothers, even Solomon sometimes plucks them off like he’s a pez dispenser. Because of this he sometimes has very sensitive scaleless spots. They grow back within a day but it still hurts.

He joins Lucifer in patrolling their territory. He’s just as protective over his space as Lucifer is, and of course he wants to look out for his younger brothers, but he won’t admit that unless it gives him a chance to use pity points to get out of trouble.

Very particular about his scales. He wants them looking pretty and as bright as they can be. Contrarily, he doesn’t give the same treatment for his hair, calling running his hands through to get the tangles out good enough.

Life with you

If you show concern for his scales he’ll play it off like it doesn’t hurt and it's really just a bother, but it isn’t. If you continue to worry about him or even offer to help patch him up he will become much more protective of you. You treat him so kindly that he doesn’t want that to stop.

If he’s in a bad mood or he gets jealous of someone, he'll grab you and shove his face into your neck and twist till his face is thoroughly buried. He wants to smell you so he can calm down and basically scream at anyone who comes by that you are something very close to Mammon so don't you dare touch.

He’ll try to drag you around to join in his mischief. Joining him in gambling rings or minnow racing. He’ll insist you're a lucky charm, though he just likes your company. He loves to bear hug you if he wins big and he holds you above him in the water with a big smile on his face.

Another victim of random shiny gifts for you. He's more aware of it and brags about how neat it looks even if it's just some old mirror. He’s always trying to play up how amazing his little gifts are.

Leviathan 

Appearance

His tail is very long, much longer than his brothers though it's thinner and has less muscle. His scales are ganoid shaped and colored the same color as his hair with a white underneath. During the night he has bright cyan bioluminescence circles on his sides. His eyes and tongue glowing as well with a very faint glow to his teeth as well. 

He’s embarrassed about it but he has multiple random patches of scales around his face and he thinks it makes him look weird.

His fins are shaped much like a goldfish, even having a round double tail and flowing fins. He is the most delicate looking one. But if he gets angry he transforms into a gigantic sea monster and can cause storms. 

He’s an omnivore so his teeth are small and much like a humans. They fall out if they get damaged but like a shark they’ll always grow back.

His skin is also counter shaded like Lucifer. Though more ashy gray color than his older brother. Unfortunately his bioluminescent colored scales, even though they pulse in brightness, make him much easier to spot. 

Daily life

He’s a night dweller through and through and refuses to swim during daylight hours. He likes to dwell in deeper waters so the light isn’t too much for him; but he mostly likes to stay in his cave and obsess over his washed up anime knicknacks. Making sure to pluck away barnacles and clean the muck off.

Since he’s an omnivore he’ll eat whatever is nearby. He enjoys jellyfish and the deadlier they are to humans the more he likes them. He's unaffected by their venom. Though he’ll enjoy a crab or free swimming fish. 

Leviathan does not like patrolling; he’d much rather leave the scuffling to everyone else so he can focus on more important things, like trying to dry out a keyboard in his open air room. 

His room is open air and inside a cave that can be accessed by a nearby beach. Inside is a shrine to his collection and he’s always fawning over it.

He loves that he matches with his fish friend Henry. They are extremely similar in shape, even having similar tails. He has a fresh water tank inside so Henry doesn’t get too dried up from the salt water. Leviathan can handle both fresh and saltwater so sometimes he hops into the tank to swim near his friend.

He’s very self conscious of his scales, especially the ones on his face so he has to make sure they look nice. His hair has to be styled just right to distract them from his face. He has a habit of pulling his bangs down over his eyes when he’s flustered.  

Life with you

Once he’s bonded with you he is constantly by your side and wanting to spend as much quality time with you as he can. He’ll be trailing you talking about the little curiosities he’s found. He whines about how he wants to go back to his cave but he won’t leave your side.

He’ll show you his collection of nicknacks and if you're able to set up a little television and gamecube he’ll be ecstatically waving his fish tail around like a dog. He’ll constantly beg you to play with him. He wants to CO-OP this game with you!

If he’s feeling cuddly that day he’ll float up to the surface and let you lounge on him and let the waves gently rock you both. He’ll hum old sea shanties he’s heard from sailors long ago as well as some anime songs from a series you enjoy together. 

Expect him to drag you to his spots for finding his little curiosities, he’ll want you to help him scour the area and find more fun items. He’s very happy with whatever you bring and he’ll keep them around his nest.   

Satan 

Appearance 

Satan is built similarly to Lucifer though his scales are more raised and spiny. His tail is a bright shamrock green which shifts to a seafoam green. He has a bunch of scales on the corners of his mouth and completely covers his cheeks.

His fins are long and have a crowntail shape that are tipped a deep black. When he gets angry his fins flare up making him look much, much bigger.

He has a flatter nose and bigger teeth like Lucifer. While they aren’t as sharp they are still dangerous if he’s mad. 

His skin also glows in the bright morning sun and if he’s lounging around he’ll attract nearby small fish to swim around him enjoying the serene glow he has.   

Daily life

He takes a long time waking up, and he’s not a morning person at all. He’s dazed for an hour or so until he’s fully awake, though he’s not much of a night person, more preferring midday.  

He’s currently got the goal of piecing together the world’s true histories. Figuring out what happened to old forgotten cities, lost treasures, and destroyed civilizations. He has a long way to go and he treats this handcrafted book like a child, holding it far above the water.

He explores with random, yet reputable exploration teams. Helping them with identifying relics or gems. He’s earned a reputation for himself by doing this and is often approached to go on expeditions. 

He is another type to patrol around his territory. He does it around midday though and hunts during these. He’s a carnivore and likes tuna and other free swimming fish, but refuses to eat squid and octopi due to how smart they are. He likes to feed nearby ones. Though they aren’t as cute as human world cats.

He’ll go to a human world pier and try to attract the local stray cats with his tail. He’ll leave them little gifts so now all the local cats come to the docks at a certain time to wait for him. He really wants to have a cat but sadly it’s a love that’s not meant to be, they are from two different worlds.    

Life with you

He’ll enjoy taking you on expeditions. Showing you beautiful sunken landscapes very few eyes have seen before. He loves seeing your reactions to sights.

He enjoys learning your hobbies and trying them out with you. He’ll go out of his way to provide an accurate experience to what you're used to since he enjoys learning and experiencing new things, especially now that you're here.

He's another one that loves to rub his smell all over you. He’s just as bad as Mammon, his smell is all over every part he can get to and stinks of “back off, don’t touch” causing others to give you a wide berth.

He’s going to hang off of you every morning. If you're larger than him he shoves his face into your chest and tries to go back to sleep. He looks so different with his sleeping face, he looks peaceful in your arms. But if you're smaller he’ll flop onto you and try to use you as a pillow. He’s surprisingly warm and his underside isn’t as spiny and sharp.

He’ll want to introduce you to his octopi friends. Each one is named after a different sea or famous author. If you agree he’ll be delighted to take you there and let you play with them. Though he might get a bit jealous if you get along with them a bit too much. He won’t show his jealousy though.   

Asmodeus 

Appearance 

He’s the most serine and delicate looking of all his brothers. His thin body has a bright cherry blossom pink tail and has long silky looking fins. His bright scales sparkle and shimmer and have a pearlescence to them. He has perfectly pure white scales patches on his tail as well giving a koi pattern. 

He resembles a butterfly koi but with longer and frankly impractical looking fins. They flow around him weightless and they look like silk in the wind around him. Even his dorsal fin is long and flowing.

He doesn’t have any scales on his face and he looks perfectly human from the waist up. His skin has an angelic like glow and shimmers in the sun. He has a few freckles on his face, chest and elbows. 

He has small pearly white teeth just like a human would, he’s very keen on keeping them perfectly white, just like his white scales, but his canines can extend like a cat flexing their claws.  

Daily life

He wakes up to his internal alarm clock, which is scarily accurate. Bright eyed and bushy tailed from the moment his eyes open. Swimming around and preparing himself for another day, brushing his tail, combing his hair, and cleaning his teeth, all while chatting to whoever will listen.

He is a highly requested entertainer for festivals and celebrations. He’s invited to grand openings, large festivals, and even private birthdays to those who pay him well enough. His dances and singing is the best among his kind and can easily enrapture sailors let alone his own kind. His voice mixed with the way his fins trail behind him like long fans is an easy way to get hypnotized. 

When he’s not booked for a celebration he’s helping Diavolo keep humans away from their city. He uses his voice to entrance anyone he deems a threat and can make them turn and forget why they were out here and what they saw. He doesn’t get into any of the violent stuff. That’s not his style.

If he’s not at home, he is always with someone. He’s like a fairytale princess with a crowd behind him, be they other mers or fish schooling around him. He always has a smile on his face and he’s not very quiet about how much he enjoys attracting an adoring crowd. At home he enjoys a nice relaxing self care session.

When he’s angry his canines poke out he doesn’t notice this habit of his, but it's usually because he’s extremely angry at the time and holds himself back.

He doesn't bother with patrolling and he’s not territorial in the slightest. He’s a lover not a fighter so his big brothers can handle any scary monster.     

Life with you

He’s bringing you to all kinds of festivals and parties as his +1 every time. You’ll be able to experience all the wonders Diavolo’s kingdom has to give and he’s extremely happy to be there with you every single time.

He’ll use his charm to get you whatever you want. Did you want that cute seashell necklace? Or that shark tooth bracelet? He’ll approach the store owner, shake his tail and flirt a bit and it’s his now. Which he immediately hands to you with a huge grin on his face, telling you how well it suits you and how you make that item look even better.

He’s always trying to groom you in any sort of manner. Rubbing your scalp and smoothing your hair with his finger. Trying to rub thick creams into your skin, or rubbing pigment onto your nails to paint them. You're the only one he’ll do this for.

He needs to hold your hand at least 3 times a day and needs a kiss before he goes to sleep and he’ll break into your room if he doesn’t get them all. He’ll act all innocent but he knows exactly what he’s doing. He just likes being a brat so he can cuddle and love you.

He also gets upset if you smell like someone else so he randomly jumps you and cuddles you in his arms rubbing his cheek against yours and rubbing you with his tail and brushing all of his fins against you. If you check you can see his fangs sticking out when he’s jealous. 

If you’re ever feeling down he’ll sing for you. Dance with you, twirling you around as if he’s the moon and you're the earth itself. He gets lost in the dance and by the time you're done you're both embracing and laughing. 

Beelzebub and Belphegor

Appearance

While being twins they couldn’t be more polar opposites. Beelzebub has radiant skin that seems to glow even in the darker parts of the ocean and a long sunset orange tail full of powerful muscles and reaches the longest out of the brothers. His tail is smooth and has a cycloid scale pattern. Belphegor has the shark-like appearance some of his other brothers have. Counter shaded skin, flatter nose. But he seems to absorb the light around him making everything seem much darker than they really are. His tail is medium size and is pretty thin. His tail is a deep eggplant purple with black spots.

Both of them have matching fin shapes, their caudal fin being shaped like a swordtail guppy and the rest of their fins are wide and shaped like fans. Belphegor's fins are mostly black but with the same eggplant purple speckled in. Beelzebub’s are the same sunset orange.

Beelzebub’s face is free of scales but on the sides of his cheeks and around his jawline and down to his shoulders scales are clustered around. They are thick hardy scales making his neck his strongest area besides his tail, but he has a scar just under his chin.

Belphegor has a freckle-like pattern of small scales they scattered all around his face only one or two at a time. They’re much smaller than the ones on his tail.

Belphegor has extremely sharp teeth and while they’re small they’re serrated. Beelzebub has mostly human teeth, though his canines are much bigger and wider, he’s able to crush stones with those teeth.

Daily life

These two have been inseparable since they were young and it's a trend that is clearly there to stay. They may have a different schedule but when they go to rest they rest and sleep in the same nest. 

Beelzebub helps teach the younger mers to fight. He’s been permitted to teach not only the royal guard but other everyday mers. He’s a proud teacher and he’s always trying to come up with ways to help each student of his even on an individual level, but that’s when he’s not eating. 

He’s also the kingdom's best hunter, and a small team is sent out with him every once in a while to hunt down any monsters that come too close to their kingdom. Beelzebub ends up eating the thing before they get back though. The bigger and more ferocious they are, the better they taste. That’s what he says at least.   

Belphegor is the kingdom's most talented astrologist. Unlike his twin brother though, he doesn’t put his skills to much use. He’ll help, maybe, if he’s not tired or if he’s in a good mood, but those chances are slim to none. Instead he’s actually a doctor. 

He’ll laze around in his office and sleep on the table, but when a patient comes in he’s somehow able to look over them once and tell what’s wrong with them. Even his brother’s are confused how he can just wake up, take one look at someone and perfectly diagnose them. 

He also seems to nurse others on an auto pilot. He barely has his eyes open and is able to patch up any wound he can find. Because of his talent yet lack of effort he has earned some ire from his peers. He doesn’t care though as long as he can keep sleeping on the job.

Many other Mer’s have approached him in hopes to become his apprentice but he’s ignored every single one. He’s too lazy to even try. Which many people think is selfish since he’s so skilled. Though he doesn’t care what they say.    

Life with you 

You will always find them not too far from you. Once they grew attached to you they began not moving too far from you. Sometimes they even drag you along with them so you can be near them. Belphegor is guilty of dragging you to his workplace more than Beelzebub, sometimes trying to trick you into keeping everyone busy so he can nap.

Beelzebub just brings you so he can keep an eye on you and give you hugs when he’s feeling a bit stressed. You can tell when he’s getting stressed because the longer part of his tail fin flicks back and forth. If you end up hugging him right when he starts he’ll end up holding you until you ask him to let you go. It always makes him smile if you do that. 

They are both picky about having you sleep in their nest. Belphegor will complain and try to guilt you into their nest if you try to sleep anywhere else and Beelzebub will give you puppy dog eyes. They won’t stop until you agree, and they both coil around you when sleeping.

Beelzebub is very protective of you since he knows how monstrous things can be outside the kingdom so whenever he gets worried about you he pulls you by the hips closer to him. Belphegor simply just gets jealous of others talking to you and will rest his chin on your shoulder and stare at whoever is talking to you. 

If you let him, Beelzebub will groom you. Brushing your hair is a favorite of his. He likes playing with it. If you were to return the favor by polishing his scales or even playing with his hair too he gets left in a great mood for the rest of the day. The smile he gets never leaves his face. 

Belphegor when he’s feeling up to it will show you the stars at night. He’ll let you float on him or next to him and gaze at the bright night sky, untouched by light pollution or blocked by trees. Just the sounds of the open ocean and the two of you. Sometimes he’ll end up like an otter and fall asleep while holding your hand so you don’t float away.  

[twiceasfrustrating]

I'm sorry if I already requested this of you I honestly have the memory of a walnut. But can I request headcannons of the boys + dia who find out MC has an emotionally abusive husband? Like fluff with some murder maybe?

thank you

Rating: Mature

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: Gen

Fandom: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!

Characters: Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Leviathan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Asmodeus (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Beelzebub (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Belphegor (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Diavolo (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)

Additional Tags: abusive relationship mentioned, some are a bit murdery, I don't know how to write fluff for such a situation but I tried

A/N: If you are in an abusive situation in the USA and need to speak to someone, please call 1-800-799-7233. If you cannot call, you can also text “START” to 88788. If it is safe for you, you can also go to the website directly. Abuse takes many forms, but it is always about control.

Feel free to add the numbers/contact for other countries if you have them.

Lucifer

He got upset at MC once and they flinched when he yelled and they started apologizing like there was no tomorrow. That was how he found out something was wrong. They wouldn’t say anything, but he could tell that something was deeply wrong. Perhaps he had never noticed before the formation of their pact how MC shuddered around him whenever he got upset, but now he did.

He is very careful not to yell again and when he does he is quick to lower his voice the second MC shows distress, reassuring them that he is not angry at them and would not harm them. It sounds almost hollow after how he acted when they originally met, but he means it.

There was one time MC dropped a dish on the floor while cooking and it broke, spilling hot food everywhere. They started picking up the pieces in a hurry, not even paying attention to how the hot shards burned and cut up their hands.

Lucifer was quick to pick them up off the ground and tend to the fresh injuries, all while they kept apologizing and saying that they would clean it up as soon as they could and saying they would make something else. Lucifer forbade them from doing either and cleaned the mess himself. He did that a lot. Took care of their ‘mistakes’ and cared for them. They would almost believe he wasn't the same terrifying man they had first met.

It takes a long time for MC to get used to their new relationship with Lucifer and once they do they are far more comfortable and less skittish.

He is not pressuring the story out of them. He can wait, as difficult as it is, for them to open up. However, he is no fool. He knows who is to blame, and that man should be very afraid should Lucifer and he ever meet.

Mammon

MC always spoke so well of their husband when they first met the brothers. Mammon was actually jealous and wished MC would talk about him that way. They would always say how kind their husband was and how he loved them and how he wanted the best for them. It sounded like some kind of cheesy romance novel.

Things started to get weird though when he and MC started to get even closer. He would invite them out, only to hear “I don’t think my husband would like that” or “I shouldn’t be alone with you”. It was weird the first time, but it quickly became a pattern. A very worrying pattern. Mammon knew abuse when he saw it. He was the family butt monkey and a witch punching bag, after all.

The difference is that he’s a fallen angel that is used to such treatment and, as a demon, the things done to him do very little in the long run. Humans are far more fragile though; their minds, bodies, and hearts. And then Mammon started to hate MC’s husband with a passion that could not be matched.

He cared less about making that bastard pay and more about taking care of MC. Such treatment can ruin a person, especially good people like MC. He would do anything to show them that they deserved better than that man, whatever that eventually meant.

Leviathan

He and MC have a little too much in common for his taste. It is actually almost disgusting how little self-worth they seem to have, but he can also see how that was trained into them.

They play down their worth a lot: “It’s nothing”, “It could be better”, “I failed again”, etc. They never say anything positive about themself. They are really good at picking out their flaws, but almost incapable of pointing out their merits.

It goes against everything Levi believes in, but he has to start praising them since they won’t praise themself. He likes hanging out with them, the stuff they make is nice, they are a really quick learner. It feels weird to praise someone, but it’s nice to see MC start to feel a little better about all the things they do.

Although, he also has the mild thought of showing MC’s husband that there are more terrifying things in the world than the horrors a human is capable of. After all, Levi has seen the monsters that dwell in the deep; he is one of those monsters and there is a reason humans fear the darkest depths.

Satan

There are some wonderful upsides to being the avatar of wrath. Normally, Satan wouldn't be so crass as to give into them, but sometimes humanity is just so vile that he can't help himself.

One of those upsides is a mind filled to the brim with the instinctual desire to rip and tear anything he can get his hands on to pieces. It's an instinct he fights off constantly with his centuries of training and self-discovery, but just this once he doesn't mind becoming the beast he was born as.

MC's husband squeals like a stuck pig throughout the entire night, only the winds, spiders, and Satan being able to hear and appreciate the sound. And appreciate it he does, until the screaming stops and his hands are drenched with blood.

He really needs to get himself cleaned off before he sees MC again, otherwise they will be terrified. He needs to look his best when they come running to him worried about their missing husband. It’s sad how much they worry about him despite everything.

Asmodeus

MC was always so calm and docile when he wanted to spend time with them. He didn’t really get it at first but it was easier to dress them up and take them out, so he didn’t question it. At least, not until someone (read: Solomon) not so subtly pointed out that it is unusual for someone to be so passive, almost to the point of being doll-like.

Asmo didn’t believe it at first. How could anyone treat someone as sweet as MC so cruelly, especially someone that is supposed to love them? But from that day onward, his eyes were opened up and he started to notice things.

The way they didn’t put forth their own opinions and let him take the lead on everything, how they stuck close to him when they both went out, the subtle way their fingers reached out then drew back when they liked something.

“Do you like it?” He would ask and their response was “do you?”

It was so difficult to get them to start putting their own wants and desires above what they thought he’d like. When they showed interest in something, he would fawn all over it. If they liked something, he liked it too. He would buy them things they even glanced casually at, told them they were worthwhile and lovely, anything that other man would never say to them.

He tore them down so completely, but Asmo would work tirelessly to build them back up.

Beelzebub

He is the softest man in the world, and sometimes MC just lets things slip out. He’s very easy to open up to and they don’t think about what they say. He was the first person that they opened up to about what was happening to them.

Suffice it to say, Beel was shocked when they mentioned how terrified they were for the exchange program to end. Despite everything that they had been through over the past year, they didn’t want to go back.

Beel had only felt so powerless one other time in his life. He couldn’t go with them to protect them and they couldn’t stay in the Devildom forever to stay safe. It was painfully cruel just how much he couldn’t help them.

All he could do was hold them and listen to them get everything off of their chest, dreading the day that the exchange program would end.

MC has to hurry up and learn how to summon him, because he wants to keep them safe from that awful situation. He would never allow another person it the world to hurt them again.

Belphegor

Belphie likes exactly one human in the three realms and every other one is none of his concern. Or, they wouldn’t be his concern if it weren’t for the fact that the one human he cared about was the victim of this particular instance.

He’s not like some of his other brothers. He doesn’t do comfort and he isn’t the best at torture, prefering to get everything over with quickly so he doesn’t have to expend all the extra energy. But, for such a special occasion, he is more than willing to put in the effort.

Humans really do create their own worst fears. Their minds run a mile a minute and they have the strangest way of finding how their own terrors can overpower what little defenses they have.

He may not be able to touch MC’s husband, but he can certainly return every slight against his favorite human. Long, sleepless nights wracked with unending horrors that only that man can truly appreciate.

All the while, he will gladly hold MC when their own nightmares overtake them, trying to put their mind at ease for just this moment. How he wished that his powers could control the waking world as well as their dreams...

Diavolo

“Don’t go back.” It was the first time Diavolo had brought up the idea. It was one he had been considering for a long time, knowing that it was extreme given that MC was a human and had to live in the human realm. However, he couldn’t live with himself knowing the kind of life MC would return to once they left.

The shouting, the insults, discarding everything MC liked because their husband doesn’t care for it… Diavolo would never feel right knowing he sent someone dear to him back there.

He had the means to help them get literally anywhere but back to that man. Diavolo could help set them free from that life, even if they didn’t want to stay in the Devildom. He knew MC would have the support of everyone they had met.

All they had to do was say yes and he would move the Devildom itself to get them out of there.

[spook-central]

So you know how I said I was gonna write a short Ray fic based on that garage kiss in Some Kind of Wonderful?

GUESS WHAT I DID IT

I’ll be posting it here and on archive of our own! Find me there at egonspenglersnose and give it some love!)

It’s based on this scene and this song if you need a little more context! Enjoy!

•••

She Loves Me

Word Count: 2939

Warnings: none it’s fluffy!

The day had started off normally enough, aside from the usual craziness that often occurred around the firehouse. Spring was in the air, and after what had felt like a bleak and oppressive winter, it was finally time to open up the doors and air the place out.

It felt good, letting the spring air in, and it made your overtime far more bearable.

You often stayed late a few times a week to make sure everything was caught up on for the next day when things got busy during the work week, something which Janine always appreciated greatly. Tonight was no exception, but the sun staying out for a longer time in the evenings definitely made it more enjoyable.

It also helped that Ray had lingered behind this evening to work on the Ecto. You had always been incredibly fond of him, and it was obvious to just about everyone that a crush had blossomed on your part.

You recalled the day you had met him; they had hired you on the spot mainly because they needed the help but also because you had a fairly impressive resume, and Ray was one of the first of the guys you had been introduced to.

He was quite honestly one of the best looking men you had ever met, and so incredibly sweet. You immediately liked him and got a good feeling about him.

You loved how passionate he was about the Ecto, and his overall knowledge of cars had always impressed you. Even if you didn’t know much about them, you loved his enthusiasm for them and it easily rubbed off on you.

Now, as you finished up the last of your paperwork for the evening, you could hear him tinkering away not far from you. Ecto had her fair share of problems, but there was nothing Ray wouldn’t do for that car. It was like another member of the team, and you couldn’t imagine the guys doing anything without it.

Ray would occasionally come in from where he was working for something he needed, and your eyes would meet on occasion. You had never had the guts to tell him of your feelings. Ray was just so cute and enthusiastic about what he did that it was hard NOT to give him heart eyes 24/7.

From time to time, you would hear him shuffle in for a drink of water or a missing wrench that he had left in the lab, smiling at him as you took in the sight of his wild brown hair and big, sweet eyes. How was it fair for one human to be that cute? You felt like you were sixteen again with the way you wanted to fawn over him.

However, restraint was a quality you possessed as well, and you hoped that you had been able to be somewhat subtle around him.

Oh well, maybe someday you would have enough courage. Sighing as you finished up your paperwork for the night, you stood to stretch your back, adjusting your jeans, purse and blouse as you made your way towards the door.

“She still down and out?” You asked Ray as you came to stand carefully beside the lovely car he had so caringly constructed and repaired. It really was his baby, in a funny way, and you respected the work that had gone into it a great deal. Ecto kept the guys in one piece, and you gave the vehicle a sweet little pat on the roof as if to say thank you.

“Not if I have anything to say about it,” he said, his voice echoing off of the metal interior before attempting to stand up too quickly and bumping his head on it. “Ow!”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, it always gets me like that,” he chuckled, rubbing the spot on the back of his head that had been bumped and smiling that sweet, bright smile of his at you that always made you melt. “Are you headed out for the day?”

“Yup, unless you need anything else from me that is,” truth be told, you would’ve gladly stayed all night just to hang around with him. Ray seemed hesitant to fully say Goodnight, and you couldn’t help wondering if he was thinking the same thing.

“Well, uh...hand me the socket wrench?” You had gotten a fairly decent rundown of which tools were which upon receiving your first car as a teenager thanks to your father, so luckily you knew exactly what he needed. “Thanks.”

“Sure thing,” adjusting your purse on your shoulder, you couldn’t help asking about a case that had piqued your interest. “How did that class 5 turn out?”

“The one from yesterday?”

“Yeah, that one sounded nuts!”

“It was,” he laughed, “Venkman’s aim is getting better, he didn’t make any chandeliers explode this time.”

“I thought that one was Egon?”

You both laughed, and part of you was thrilled at how naturally conversation came for the both of you.

Needing a socket wrench turned into needing pliers, but soon enough Ray ran out of tools to need and it was clear that he really just wanted to spend time with you. You weren’t about to object in the slightest, comfortably sitting on a nearby stool and watching as he worked.

Truth be told, he had liked you ever since meeting you on that first day. You were always kind to him, and listened to anything he had to say no matter how out there it was.

He also couldn’t help thinking that you were incredibly pretty and very smart, but his own shy nature prevented him from saying so the way he wanted to.

A long time passed with you talking to Ray as he worked, and it was quite nice. The sun was setting now, the light golden as it streamed in from the open door beside the Ecto, but you didn’t mind.

“So Venkman seriously busted up this woman’s entire China cabinet?” The conversation had strayed back to Venkman now, and you couldn’t help laughing. He was such an odd duck, and you always got a kick out of him and his wild antics.

“We were able to blame it on the ghost being rowdy, but my god, it was a mess!” Ray tried to smooth back his messy hair as he laughed again, his hands covered in engine grease and not helping the situation much.

“He seems like he can be a real peach when he’s not causing trouble,” you rolled your eyes, smiling as Ray closed up the Ecto’s hood.

“He teases me plenty, that’s for sure, but I love him. He’s one of my best friends,” Ray was clearly fond of Venkman, and you didn’t doubt that their bond was a special one.

“What on earth does he tease you about?”

“Mostly my luck with women. Not that his is anything to go by,” this got a gut laugh out of you, and you were surprised by how witty Ray could be at times.

“No kidding. What, does he think you haven’t got game or something?”

“He tells me women won’t want to kiss me since I smoke so much.” Ray rolled his eyes, and you couldn’t help thinking about how far from the truth that actually was. “Or he acts like I don’t know how to do it at all. I mean, sure, I spend a lot of time at work but I’m not a complete hermit.”

You both laughed again, and you sat your purse on the ground as you got a rather cheeky idea. Was it even smart to try and approach things like this? Would he go for it? God, you hoped so.

“I’m sure you know how. I mean, everybody has a general idea of how to lay a proper smooch on someone if they want to.”

He raised an eyebrow at this, thinking the phrasing was humorous and wanting to hear more from you on this subject in particular.

“A ‘proper smooch’?”

“Yeah, you know. The kiss that kills. Butterflies and rainbows and all that stuff.”

He watched you as you took a few causal steps toward the Ecto now, the gears visibly turning in his head. Was this some subtle attempt at flirting?

The nearby radio, which had been playing softly in the background the whole time, played a song that perfectly fit the mood, the lyrics softly ringing out as you contemplated what to say next.

‘Who made the rule

that I should always play the fool?

All the nights I suffered

when I need not have bothered…’

“I don’t think I’ve ever had one of those, now that I think about it,” he admitted with a half smile.

“I uh...I think I’ve gotten close, but never all the way there,” you tucked a bit of hair behind your ear, watching as Ray adjusted his uniform, which he still had on. It had smudges of engine grease on it now, and you found it endearing.

He realized that this chance was now or never, gauging by the look in your eyes that you wanted what he wanted and deciding to go for it.

“How would it work? I mean...you seem like you know more about it than me,” he took a step closer, and you knew your eyes were shining in an undeniably flirty way.

“Oh you—you want me to show you?”

“I mean...if you feel up to it. I’m no expert and I could use the help.” Cheeky man, you thought. You could certainly show him if that was what he wanted.

“Do you have your eye on somebody, Ray?”

He wiped his hands on a nearby rag, the tension heightening as you watched them and then met his eyes again. You had always had a thing for those wonderful hands of his.

“I guess you could say that, yeah,” he nodded, his big brown eyes warm and sincere and you knew what he wanted to say but didn’t right then.

Instead of pressing further, you nodded, thinking this might be the most fun lesson you ever had the pleasure of teaching anyone as you got right into it.

“Well...I mean, first you have to start off in a stationary position. That helps,” he was closer now, and your cheeks flashed a soft tinge of pink as the space between you lessened. You didn’t usually have it in you to be playful, but decided to gently hop up on the hood of the Ecto in an attempt to bring him closer. “Come a little closer than that. Can’t do a thing from that far away.”

You moved to scoot nearer to the edge of the hood, willing Ray closer and practically beaming as he closed the space between you both more and more with each step.

Had anyone else sat on the hood like this, Ray might have gotten finicky, but the sight of you so close to the car he loved so much actually only ended up getting him going even more.

“It definitely helps,” he rubbed the back of his neck now, seeing that this had clearly turned into something beyond just a lesson in kissing techniques. You could smell his cologne now that he was so close, which only seemed to set your senses on overdrive even further.

“Now, uh...do you know where your hands go?”

His eyebrows raised in what seemed like a mix of curiosity and confusion, and you couldn’t help the way your breath hitched now that he stood directly in front of you.

“My hands?”

“Yeah. They go on the hips of whoever you’re kissing,” the mood had certainly shifted now, and you felt more daring than you ever had before. A timid smile crossed your face as Ray allowed you to guide his hands to the appropriate place, and the realization that this was definitely about to happen made your stomach do leaps.

“Hips, got it.” God, his hands were so strong and steady and you didn’t even care if this got engine grease on your jeans, it was just thrilling to have him this close.

“Okay, now look into my eyes. Eye contact is important.” The both of you gave a shy, breathy chuckle as your eyes met, and you playfully shoved Ray’s chest. “Come on, we’ve gotta take this seriously if you want to learn anything.”

“Sorry, I get a little skittish with these things,” he admitted, and you shook your head with a smile.

“It’s okay, but the lesson isn’t quite over yet,” you said, your cheeks noticeably warmer. The tension was enough to make your heart race.

“Alright, and uh...after that?”

“Well, uh...my hands go here,” you reached up to loop your arms around his neck, inevitably bringing him directly between your legs and causing Ray to clear his throat.

“How do you, uh...I mean, how do you know that that happens every time?”

“I watch a lot of TV, I guess,” you managed a soft laugh with this, “now, uh...close your eyes.”

Ray’s heart was pounding. Was this seriously about to happen?

“Close my—? Oh, yeah, okay.” He nodded a bit, doing as you said and knowing he had wanted this for what felt like forever. He was so handsome up close, and you couldn’t believe your luck.

It was time to go in for the kill, and you didn’t waste a second.

Leaning in, the first contact was soft and exploratory, and it took Ray a moment to figure out exactly how to respond. But once he got the angle right, it was everything you had described and more.

The music swelled on the radio nearby, and you thought you could’ve melted right then and there.

‘The minutes that we missed

idle lips that should’ve kissed

and now gently together

The first kiss lasts forever

She loves me, she loves me

Oh and she loves me, all the time…’

Tilting his head a bit, Ray found just the right angle, and one kiss turned into what felt like a million. Your hands made their way into his hair, that hair you loved so much that often seemed to fly out in all directions.

His lips were soft and very pleasant to kiss, and it occurred to you that he must use lip balm of some kind. Ray himself couldn’t believe this was happening. He honestly couldn’t fathom how he had been lucky enough to end up kissing you like this, but he was, and he was putting everything he had into it.

Ray’s mind moved at a million miles a minute. All he could think about was how it felt when you moved in a rhythm with him, how soft your lips were, your soft body, and how GOOD you smelled—

He nearly sighed as he felt your leg brace around him to bring him in as close as possible, gripping your jeans to pull you close by your hips in return.

You nearly melted into a puddle on the floor at the feeling of his grip, so strong and firm on you like he couldn’t bear to leave any space between the two of you at all.

He must have shaved that morning, you thought, having expected him to have at least a little stubble and feeling surprised that there was none. Where on earth had Ray learned to kiss so well? Boy would Venkman have egg on his face if he knew about THIS.

Unfortunately for you both, you had to break away and breathe at some point, just looking at each other until you finally managed to speak.

“Well, uh...Venkman was wrong. Way wrong. Wow.”

“It was...I mean, was it like you said? Butterflies and—and all that for you too?”

“Are you kidding?” You laughed, “sheesh, I didn’t know you had that in you. You wouldn’t have any trouble hooking any woman you wanted if you kissed her like that.”

He seemed surprised and incredibly flattered, looking down and then back up at you with a grin and eager brown eyes.

“Was it obvious at all that I was referring to you?”

“I kind of hoped that was the case,” both of you grinned then, the final chorus of the song fading out in the background as the spring breeze blew in once more.

‘She loves me, she loves me

Oh and she loves me all the time…’

You couldn’t resist leaving a sweet peck on Ray’s cheek just because you could, earning a bright smile from him as he got a somewhat playful gleam in his eye.

“The guys are gonna be gone for the rest of the evening, and I don’t have anything else planned...would you want to grab some dinner with me?”

“Sure, but only if we can do more of this afterwards,” you giggled, and Ray helped you off the hood of the Ecto to stand you up and kiss you so that he could press you flush against him now. You were sure you looked like a cartoon character with birds chirping around your head as he pulled away.

“You drive a hard bargain,” Ray said, unable to keep from grinning as he took your hand, “but you’ve got yourself a deal.”

What a lesson to teach with anyone, you thought. He was a fast learner, that was for sure.

Picking up your purse, the two of you headed out, and you couldn’t help humming that lovely chorus to yourself one last time.

‘She loves me, she loves me

Oh and she loves me all the time…’

[inkykeiji]

babyyy💕 i need to know!! do the characters in bmb AU have social media?? does reader post her lavish gifts and expensive trips online?? does tomura show off his bby in his ig? or are they concerned abt their safety? does dabi spend hours on his phone going over reader’s pics? is daddy tomura controlling over what the reader posts? UGH THE ANGST POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS😭💕💕

love you lots, stay safe💕💕💕

honestly anon this is such a brilliant question oh my god

tomura is not an instagram—or social media—type. he doesn’t understand the point and, quite frankly, he thinks it’s a total waste of time. he has more important, more interesting things to be doing than mindlessly scrolling through social media feeds. he limits his princess’s time on social media as well, claiming it’ll rot her brain if she spends too long on there. admittedly, he does think it’s really fucking cute, the way she gets so excited to post all the pretty presents and splendid trips and ornate dinners he spoils her with, but he definitely does need to approve every single post, and even masquerades as an anonymous follower, just so he can keep tabs on her (and yes, he has her notifications on).  

despite his great fashion sense and keen aesthetic, dabi’s social media feeds/timelines are a total mess. they’re a combination of kitten videos, dudes wiping out during extreme sports (snowboarding and skateboarding in particular), and good looking people. originally, he was really just on there to kill time when he was bored, only using it for a quick laugh and rarely spending more than an hour or so total on any given app for the day. if he’s being honest, he still doesn’t understand the point of a ‘theme/concept’ or brand for your social media, and he actually didn’t post to his accounts until he started hanging out with reader (before this he had no desire to post shit esp when he has no friends on there anyway and is cautious about safety). but then, one afternoon while they were lounging around lazily in the sun, she asked, soft and shy with excitement toying with the corners of her lips, if he had an instagram and if she could follow it. and suddenly, he felt like posting more. it felt like a way to communicate the feelings he so desperately couldn’t put into words, sharing certain songs that said it all so much better than he ever could on his stories, or giving her a glimpse into who he his, into his mind and his life, by posting about his favourite sci-if novels and films, knowing that they’d spark the start of a conversation the next time he saw her. eventually, social media becomes a way for him to document the time he spends with her, snapping photos and filming cute videos, all under the guise of it merely being ‘instagram content’. but truthfully, he really likes collecting these memories, and he keeps them all safe and sound in a cherished folder hidden deep within the recesses of his phone. he definitely always gets giddy when she posts something with him in it, or something that is clearly an inside joke between the two of them, even tho he'd never admit it <3

reader loves social media and has a solidly curated feed. it’s one of her hobbies, more or less; she genuinely enjoys taking the time to carefully craft it all together, from setting up the photographs to editing the pictures to arranging her posts in an aesthetically pleasing way. she definitely does delight in showing off the gorgeous gifts her Daddy buys her and, thanks to the luxurious and expensive content and her decent photography skills, she has a fairly large following. being fawned over by complete strangers is such an ego boost, and she’d be lying if she said she doesn’t receive a little jolt of pride with each ‘luckyyyyy :(’ and every ‘you’re so pretty!’ comment. however, like dabi, she also thinks of her instagram as a place to chronicle her life; a place where sentimental memories and special moments are preserved forever <3

[chocolate-parfait]

can I suggest a headcanon for arthur, theo and comte ( or dazai ) reacting to their selectively mute s/o speaking for the first time? ( maybe even singing? ) you can decide if you want a scenario for one of them and what mc sounds like, wether shes soft spoken or has a mature voice~ whatever you feel comfortable with >:0 👌 — have a nice day ! ♡

I made some research to write this but tell me if anything's inaccurate or wrong! I'll fix it right away

Selectively mute MC - ikevamp headcanons (Arthur, Theo & Comte)

Arthur

Arthur's a bit suspicious when he sees how uncomfortable you seem to be on your first night. No normal person would feel completely at ease, that's for sure, and yet the way your gaze flickers around the room, the way you fidget with your own hands, the look of pure anxiety on your pretty features, they're all blatant red flags for him, though he decides to let you be. It's your first night, after all, for all he knows you could just be terribly shy, right?

He started piecing the signs together after a couple days when your voice was yet to be heard. The only thing they knew was your name, which you wrote on a piece of paper after Vincent's many soft encouragements.

The English writer had tried flirting with you a couple times, but after being met with the same indicators of discomfort as night one, he decided to step back and watch from the sidelines, occasionally helping others translate whatever you were trying to tell them with your body language.

Selective mutism had been diagnosed around 1870 for the first time, and although it was still a relatively new medical condition, he still was a couple decades more experienced when it came to medicine. After realizing that was your case, he moved to inform everyone in the mansion so that they could adjust their behaviors and avoid causing you too much distress.

Eventually Arthur becomes the person you spend most time with in the whole house; you can feel he genuinely cares and, despite the voices you had heard about his incorrigible attitudes and questionable habits, you start appreciating all the efforts he puts into making sure you're always comfortable and understood (his efforts were very much succeeding, by the way).

On one particular night, you decided to bring some coffee to his room, a silent gesture of support in his regards, but once you entered the bedroom, he turned to look you in the eyes and you saw his beautiful blue orbs, usually alight with mischief, now dark and wavering, surrounded by puffy, red skin. He had been crying. Despite all his best efforts to hide it, everyone knew the writer had his own ghosts from the past haunting him, but seeing him so wretched and broken made your heart squeeze in sympathy and pity.

Seeing your worried expression Arthur immediately turned the other way, letting out a self deprecating laugh as he thought this was probably not helping with your case at all. "Ah- D-don't worry about me! I just got some dust in my eyes. Clumsy old me-!" You set down the tray on his desk and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"A-arthur, you can tell me. I'm here for you."

His heart almost flew out of his chest as his wide eyes stared at you in disbelief. He abruptly stood up and had to stop himself from hugging you and twirling you around, grabbing your shoulders instead. "MC, you just spoke right now, didn't you?!". He was so shocked he completely forgot about his troubles and spent minutes fawning over you. He didn't realize he was coming off as too strong until he noticed your voice getting quieter and quieter. He then apologized and took a moment to cool himself off.

From then on, your relationship goes through revolutionary changes as he finally gets to learn more about your past, tastes and personality. Each little detail makes him more and more interested in what had been a complete mystery to everyone for days. As the writer of Sherlock Holmes he certainly couldn't let this one chance fly out of the window now, could he?

If his brain malfunctioned when he heard your voice for the first time, it is pretty accurate to say that he almost passed away for the second time when he heard your laugh! It's the best and most effective antidepressant he's tried in a long time, and the more open you become, the more the look in your eyes starts to brighten up, a worthy rival to the breathtaking smile that graces your lips every now and then.

Your voice is sweet, calm and soft, and Arthur feels as if he's floating on a cloud whenever he hears it. It isn't loud, either, making everything you say seem like the most intimate secret one could whisper to a close friend. On the other hand, your laugh is like the clear and light tinkling of a bell. Each time you let out even the smallest of chuckles his cheeks flush with a rosy blush, earning him stares and teasing remarks from the closest fellow vampire in the room.

Slowly, he starts to see his reactions for what they are: sprouts of a new love. As time passes by, he realizes he wants to hear more and more of your voice. He wants to hear you whimper his name lost in overwhelming pleasure, he wants to hear all the sweet nothings and declarations of love you can offer him, comforting words, even gibberish and dark secrets. Everything that comes out of your mouth is like molten gold to him, and he wants it all to himself.

He starts bragging to others, though it does not take long before you're comfortable enough to grace them with the sound of what Arthur has come to love so much. On one side he's jealous because you've denied him the privilege of being the only one to hear your voice, but at the same time he's also extremely proud of you! You're finally happy and there's no more traces of anxiety and worry in your eyes whenever you're surrounded by the other vampires, and that's one of the most important milestones he's honored have witnessed by your side.

Theo

Let's just say that you and theo start off on the wrong foot. To say that you're frightened of him at first is an understatement, and you very much avoid him for as much as you can. He feels guilt strangling his throat whenever he sees your quivering form running away from him, and after noting that you behaved similarly with everyone and still hadn't uttered a word in days made him worry even more.

Arthur's the one who comes up with a diagnosis, and with that everyone changes their manners and speech to make you feel more at ease. Theo, just like his blue haired friend, is actually pretty good at reading body language so he has no particular struggles when it comes to your needs. Unfortunately, he's not so smooth in regulating his tone and words, which often come out a little to harsh. Vincent often reprimands him for it, and he can't help but feel even worse when he realizes he's probably ruining your whole stay.

He starts distancing himself, and you gradually start sticking by the local angel's side, never leaving him for even a second; his vibes are so pure and soothing that they help you out with your anxiety and symptoms. Needless to say, he's also very understanding and is not at all bothered to speak in your stead. This leads to Vincent being the first one to hear your voice, and he's without doubt elated, but he also wishes for you to be able to socialize with the others, too. Theo in particular.

After days and days of the artist's endless rants on how good his little brother actually is, your image of the gruff man has been replaced by that of a soft hearted puppy. Too bad that this soft puppy looks like a hungry hunt dog more than a small, soft cloud of love.

Ironically enough, what brings you and Theo to a new stage of your basically nonexistent relationship is King. In the dog's presence he lets his guards down and turns into a loving owner of a very good and friendly golden nugget, subsequently becoming more approachable. Besides, everyone knows how helpful animals are in fighting anxiety and social disorders! And on the advice of Arthur, he invites you to his daily walk with his dog, hoping your fear will melt away with time.

He's a stubborn man, and even when such delicate issues come his way, he has no intention of giving up. No matter how much time it'll take him, he believes he's going to convince you he's not that bad as you first thought. Why is he trying so hard though? Well, not only it's something that stems from Vincent's care for you, but it's also something for your own good. If you were to avoid him for a whole month, you'd get nothing out of it, and a constant lingering sense of panic would follow you pretty much anywhere; but living for a whole month in those conditions is a no-no for Theo. He has no intention of uselessly make you suffer like that, and as he reminds himself of that, his willpower strengthens his determination to search for a common ground between you two.

Albeit slowly, you start getting less tense around him, and the fright fades away bit by bit with each walk in the woods with the Dutch art dealer and the excited bundle of golden hair. It's a lengthy process that takes many days, but Theo finally knows his efforts aren't vain when he hears you coo at the golden retriever. "King... you're such a good boy.." You say with with the warmest smile he had ever seen painted on someone's face as you patted his canine friend's head lovingly. In that moment he wished he could frame the scene and hang it up in his room next to his brother's paintings.

He didn't know whether it was the emotion of hearing your voice for the first time or the implications that told him you weren't that scared of him anymore, but he became hyper aware that his wasn't a normal heartbeat. Unsteady and crazy like that of a lovestruck fool. Was this all it took him to fall head over heels for someone? Or was this a process that had started way before?

It still takes you some time to be fully able to speak complete sentences in his presence, but once you do, he's overcome with one of the greatest feelings of satisfaction he had ever felt in his two lives, and he can definitely agree that everything was worth the wait and the labour.

Just like Arthur, your laugh almost makes him fly through the roof, but what turns him into a formless puddle of mushy feelings and amazement is your singing voice. The first time he hears you intone a medley to him he turns to stone and just stays there, unmoving. He has an eye for finding hidden talents, but oh God was your singing unexpected. His feeling may be out of place here, but he's so, so glad to have your singing all to himself. He finds the act extremely intimate, and for how much he may believe he doesn't deserve it, he cannot deny the positive effects it has on him

Sometimes, when you're talking to him, you can see him turn his face away and smile to himself like an idiot. In those times, he's thinking about how far you two came, and how glad he is to have persisted as much as he did.

Comte

Comte emanates a slightly threatening and imposing aura but it can also be calm and placid, like his voice. First and foremost he's a gentleman, but he sometimes comes off as very intimidating to those who are not used being around such strong presences like his. Luckily, he's a very patient man, and you can feel no judgement nor malice coming from him. He's lived a long, long life, and he knows better than overstepping people's boundaries and making fun of their insecurities.

When with him, you can do things at your own pace! If you don't feel like talking then he's totally okay with it; take your time to find your own way and pace of doing things, he'll gladly help if you ever ask him (with gestures or, once you're closer, with words).

The panic you feel in his presence dissolves gradually; there are no particular events that cause a turning point in your relationship, it just happens. Despite living in such a big mansion, avoiding all life forms is pretty much impossible, so you happen to share some interactions every now and then. Sometimes it's an afternoon tea, others it's just him making small talk as you clean his room (he's either talking to himself or asks answers you can nod to if you feel more comfortable). He immediately makes it clear that he doesn't expect nor want to pressure you in delivering any answer, and if you ever happen to feel too overwhelmed he excuses himself and leaves the room.

One day as you were dusting the shelves in his office, he casually says:"The weather's really nice today." But your head doesn't move in assent, instead he receives a shocking reply despite the ordinariness of the topic. "It really is... T-there's not a cloud in the sky, either." A shocked expression momentarily appears on his features, soon replaced by a wide smile as he hums back in agreement.

He doesn't let it show but he's utterly in love with your voice. It's an addiction but he still wants to give you enough space and time to get comfortable with the idea of speaking around him, so he tries to keep himself in check all the time.

It's when he hears you singing that he can't help but feel greedy, and the rare sight of Comte's blushing cheeks greets you for the first time ever. It's his weak point, use it as you may deem ;)

(okay but jokes aside WHY would you ever want to use it against him, he'd build a pyramid with a butter knife while doing a backflip if you asked him to tbh,, the man is Whipped.)

Everything you do has a meaning and a significance, so he's always taking in even the smallest piece of information you may subconsciously slip his way. Seeing how you trust him enough to lower your guards about him makes him all the more appreciative of the bond you two share. For this reason, if you ever want to try and get over your anxiety, he'll be there to walk with you from the first to the last step of your journey.

His favorite thing is when he's holding you in his arms, nuzzled against his chest while he dozes off to your heavenly humming. It makes him feel like a prince living his happy ever after in a fairytale and he couldn't be more grateful.

[shoichee]

KNB OC

Name: Shirobi Arisu

School: Touou Academy

Zodiac: Pisces

Note: I gave it an attempt to draw her portraits in the Production I.G artstyle! Excuse the lazy anatomy and messy sketch lines, er... hope they don’t distract you too bad? Also EXTREMELY long profile, hence the cut! This is a 300-follower special, but perhaps I’ll do something with Shirobi in the future! (Shirobi is her surname, Arisu is her first name)

Appearances

Personality

she is very much described to be “fox-like” in demeanor, slipping in and out of conversations naturally and with ease, being able to show different aspects and sides of her to different types of people

her default persona in encountering new people is a noble, unassuming/demure one in order to gauge how they interact with her before adjusting accordingly // you can see what that looks like here

a very innate actress, but the most cynical description of her would be “two-faced,” though it’s important to note that her personas are not so drastic that they seem like different people (like Akashi’s situation); perhaps if someone was keenly observing her for a while, they would notice

she does subtle shifts in aspects of her personality’s repertoire because of: 1.) becoming more compatible with people, and thus, having the most efficient conversations without having “annoying, unnecessary” conflicts with them, and 2.) studying people in different social settings is interesting to her

as a result of her jumping around and exploring different sides of her to different people daily, she does wind up suffering from mini identity crises and mental exhaustion very frequently

after a whole dismantle of her *mostly harmless* mind schemes (particularly by a close friend or two later on), her “true self” would be a deflective “tsundere-like” character, since her visceral reaction is for her to always slip into a convenient persona for the situation rather than being initially honest with herself and the people around her, and without the security of a “persona,” she gets flustered and embarrassed very *very* easily

hobbies in her free time include either being alone to sleep and not worrying about how to present herself or reading various works of (non)fiction (of many genres)/psychology to study people and how they tick (bonus: became a recent internet junkie after finding greater convenience in just finding articles and blogs instantly with a simple click)

irony: she finds talking to people inconvenient and tiring but she finds it intriguing to study them in all aspects of behavioral, cultural, and social means (so she kind of has to talk with people)

certified ambivert

if she does approach to someone, it’s almost never for the reasons of “making friends;” if there is no intellectual gain nor tangible benefit from talking, then she won’t bother partaking in it

because of her recent upbringing, while she may not show it, she despises arguments and fights, so when situations escalate, she will attempt to either smoothly divert the subject elsewhere and/or trivialize the matter to a degree; if all else fails, she will simply disengage from the conversation (essentially avoiding confrontation) // note: see “background” section for context

Teiko-era Personality

pleasant and friendly, albeit shy

perfect example of a polite goody two-shoes and teachers’ pet but still respected among her classmates for her genuine cordiality

very reserved individual but at this time was slowly breaking out of her shell to try to befriend her classmates to distract her mind from thinking about her home life

post-divorce/3rd year of Teiko: see “background” section for context

               *while still maintaining her amiable grace, she slowly detached herself from her acquaintances and classmates, keeping to herself a lot more while critically studying them increasingly as months went by; she began to talk with others only when it was a necessity

                                   *(occurred during her 1st year of Touou) a few months after she graduated from Teiko, she stopped going to the gym after school to observe the first string’s practices and only went to their games for Kōzō’s sake (especially when he fell ill) // her observant skills quickly picked up, even from their games alone, that the Teiko team’s dynamics have completely changed (which she relates this revelation back to Kōzō in the hospital)

                                   *her current personality will hit full force once she enters high school after graduating from Teiko

“Last Game” Personality

reverted mostly back to her genuine, cordial self, but is still very spontaneous in showing different aspects of her personality in different situations, although most who know her can see right through her now (unless she really wanted to fool them, she probably could)

attempts to be more honest with herself and with others, especially in trying to unpack years of compartmentalization starting from her Teiko years

if she’s caught off guard, she will definitely become a flustered tsundere type of person

a happier person now that she’s made friends to rely on (•̀ᴗ•́)و (e.g. Momoi and Sakurai)

Background/Family

her multifaceted personality stemmed from her home life, where her parents became increasingly volatile and erratic when interacting with each other before they finally divorced her 2nd year of middle school

she constantly observed how her parents would initially act romantic on some days, but on many other days, they’d either tiptoe carefully around each other during conversations or they’d immediately fight

                    *rather than focusing on the discord of her home, she’d observe how they’d interact with each other in every situation and how despite being the two same individuals, they both act differently with each other every time they meet, thus feeding her intrigue on how individuals act in various social settings and cues

her parents would later on (shortly before divorcing) only meet up for motives of financial discussions, decisions on who she would live with for the week, etc. and they would no longer spend time together out of sentiment and love

                    *this imprinted into her belief that conversations that bring mutual benefit/reward are much better than other casual interactions, since she sees that they don’t provoke the unnecessary conflict/fights like other interactions do (e.g. seeing her parents fight when they talk about anything else)

Kōzō Shirogane (her great uncle, Teiko’s ex-coach) and Eiji Shirogane (a distant relative, Rakuzan’s current coach) are both from her father’s side of the family, hence she attended Teiko on behalf of Kōzō’s request in exchange for him paying for all of her school’s expenses (he wanted to spend more time with his great niece before he fell completely ill)

she and Kōzō would often be on the upper floor to observe practices together, and she would be immersed in studying how players would interact with each other on and off of courts; he was the one that got her into watching sports games (basketball in particular)

she graduated from Teiko a year before the GoMs did but would frequently visit their practices after school with Kōzō (until he fell ill)

she took after her mother’s surname after the divorce

Kōzō Shirogane fell ill shortly after her parents’ divorce

after graduating from middle school, she lives alone in an apartment under Shirogane’s name

she is not close with her parents but goes to visit each of them separately once in a while when Kōzō makes her go see them

she sees Kōzō as more of the father figure and cares deeply for him, and as for Eiji, she respects and admires him, but she isn’t close with him

ever since Kōzō fell ill, she would visit him in the hospital biweekly and update him on highlights from critical games from middle school and later on, inter-high and winter cup

Headcanons

she is the opposite of Kuroko in which she has a huge presence; it could be because of her hair color, hair pins, the many ways she carries herself throughout the day, or all of the above

why does she wear tons of hairpins? we don’t know, but she thinks they look nice and keeps the unruly hair out (for convenience)

sports games are fun for her to watch up close IRL because she can detect/study the mental games and simulations sparking across different players without having to talk to other people at all // televised games are useless because they cut a lot footage and cameras jump around too much for her to discern anything cohesive on the players

(if she ever got to speak with them) the most interesting people for her to converse with and study would be Midorima (because of his oha asa’s obsessions), Imayoshi, Hanamiya, Akashi, Teppei, Mitobe (she can actually understand him), and Momoi (when she doesn’t fawn over Kuroko)

no one knows what to genuinely get her for her birthday, let alone knowing her actual birthday; the closest thing they know is her zodiac sign

                     *throughout her deduced “birthday month,” different people will approach her with different gifts with what they thought she was interested in (because of her different personas she exhibited with each person): porn mags, antiques, shopping coupons, snacks, comic gags, etc.

                     *she keeps her birthday on the down low to prevent any chances of people being suspicious of her character when they try to throw a party for her and realizing she has these drastic “hobbies” and “interests” with each person // plus she doesn’t see a point of having a party because she knows how these familiar acquaintances would act in this particular situation

                     *she’s a fan of attending other people’s parties to observe them without being in the spotlight for once

she could be considered as part of the “uncrowned” generation considering her cognitive/mental skills and deduction (and she’s the same year as them)

                     *she and riko could be rivals as 2nd years in that sense, along with Momoi when she becomes a 1st year

Role/Skill

if she ever joined a sports club, her critical role would be monitoring and improving cognitive (mental) acuity especially in the following brain functions of: information processing, memory storage, attention, and situational judgement (and how they all respond and handle high pressure), since she’s so keen on studying people and how they act in different situations

she would also study opponents’ levels of acuity especially during huge pressure and high stakes

she will note environmental factors as well as lifestyles on every player; home players would get the according lists of tasks to work on to improve their acuity (which may include diet changes, mental exercises, adjusted sleep schedules, etc.) on their own and get tested on set dates

                 *will also initially ask home players to do a quick self-survey on possible genetic factors that would affect cognitive performance as well as any prescription/drug history

during club hours, she shows a very professional, polite side that purposefully distances herself from the rest of the team, and she is initially solely there to do her job and get compensations from the coach (until eventually she stays because she actually cares for the team)

Interactions

Kuroko: (Teiko + present)

polite with each other, although both will joke with each other in such a way that others can’t really tell if a joke just passed between them or if they’re being serious

she shifts her personality to be slightly more deadpan and delivers more dry humor when she’s around Kuroko

bonus: she addresses him with the nickname “Kurokuro” with the deadpan delivery, and others don’t know whether to laugh or be concerned

she doesn’t jump from his sudden appearances; while she doesn’t detect where he pops up most of the time, when he does, she just shrugs it off casually or does the dry “ahh i’m scared” or “wahhh you scared me” with surrendering hand motions whenever people around her get a genuine jumpscare from him

Kise: (Teiko + present)

with him she becomes more expressive and mildly snickers at their jokes together

the moment his fans come though, she’ll ditch him no questions asked; their constant interrogations and verbal grillings + fangirling are inconvenient to deal with // she’ll observe their behaviors from afar and take note on fan culture though, so she wouldn’t ditch him per say

she finds the fact that Kise can switch between a serious, determined persona and a flamboyant, energetic one so quickly really intriguing to witness every single time

Kise turns to her for mundane advice because “she’s just smart,” but she finds it really annoying and often gives him vague (but still valid) answers to shoo him away

Midorima: (Teiko + present)

she talks to him the most, mostly because his oha asa obsessions and meticulous rituals and schedules are ridiculously fascinating

she takes on a more serious persona (which is easy since she’s a pretty serious-like person to begin with) and subtly challenges Midorima, poking and prodding with very well-veiled questions to uncover the bottom of his obsessions

she does study up a bit of astrology and arcana books because of Midorima // one day he caught her with an astrology book on hand, and he immediately assumed she was into horoscopes as well, to which she did not deny a thing and let him convinced himself that she was (she’s gotta do what she’s gotta do)

after that ordeal, he gave her lucky items for her sign sometimes back in the Teiko days

just two smart brains having casual conversations about school

in the present day, if Takao was there, her persona switches to the one similar to what she’d use with Kise, and both would make snide remarks about Midorima

Midorima is slightly confused in seeing a subtly different side to her but he figured it was just Takao’s antics

Aomine: (Teiko + present)

when it was the days of “Puremine,” she was a supportive character, being slightly more blunt and more outspoken

she was extremely observant of his talent, and she was one of the first people to notice that he was going to bloom in talent before anyone else while also knowing its consequences // she subtly dropped hints for Aomine to slow down his pace in practicing, playing, etc. and to take a step back from basketball, but the blue-haired boy was an idiot so he didn’t pick them up one bit ((AKASHI DID THOUGH, UH))

with current Aomine, she’s presenting a more indifferent persona while further pushing a blunter side of herself when interacting with Aomine

like Imayoshi, she’s picked up on his dilemma and inner turmoil very quickly, but she wasn’t like Momoi who was actively trying to help him // she wasn’t enthusiastic in exerting effort when she knew that what he really needed to have his conflicts resolved was a definitive showdown on the courts

she doesn’t understand the appeal of porn mags at all, but feigns interest in them especially around Aomine (when they attend Touou Academy) to figure out why are people at her age so enthralled by them; Aomine definitely thinks she’s into them and gets her mags of half naked people for her and he’s extremely smug about it (“because we’re bros together” // “you’re welcome,” as he slaps her back way too hard)

she doesn’t really hang out with Aomine in Touou, maybe sometimes after school when she finds him up in the rooftop skipping practice when she’s in the mood to study how he ticks and annoy him for certain reactions to either prove/debunk her predictions

Momoi (Teiko + present)

she takes on a “girlier” and “cutesy” personality to be more compatible with Momoi to get along with her common interests

doesn’t really hang out with Momoi during the Teiko days unless Momoi approached her first with either data analyses, questions, or pleas to come with her to either: go shopping, drag Aomine, follow around Kuroko, etc.

Momoi addresses to her as “senpai” or “chan”

(during Teiko and present) asks her questions about her “love life” with Kuroko in a way that makes Momoi think she’s someone who believes in romance and lovey dovey things (she’s quite neutral about it IRL)

when Momoi finds out they both ended up at Touou, Momoi pounces on her every chance they get and drags her around because “we’re best friends!” // she goes along with it just to see how things turn out

she ends up being Momoi’s listening ear as she rants about Aomine’s awful habits or her worries about the team

Momoi begs and pleads her to join the team and assist them in some way; she outright refused, but Momoi is also intelligent in which she comes up with new offers everyday to try to convince her

she finally agrees when Momoi asked the coach to pay her a weekly salary (poor guy, but then again he’s rich) for her work and take Momoi’s word that the addition of her would be nothing but beneficial for the team’s success

because they're both on the same team together, they both spend even more time together to do analyses on both their own team members and other schools’ players

attends Touou’s games and only watches from first row seats in the audience in order to conduct naturalistic observations on both teams; she will never be on the benches unless it’s the semi-finals onwards

Murasakibara: (Teiko + present)

there isn’t much to study on this guy; he’s as straightforward as a single-file line

she either acts more of a casual childlike persona (by calling him “Muramura” or “Sakisaki-san”) or exhibits more of a stern, serious side (e.g. the persona used with Midorima) depending on the situation/context

she definitely bribes him with snacks and food to do convenient favors (in addition to using childish nicknames), or she throws the snacks far, gives them to someone else, eats them in front of him, etc. to elicit reactions from the man-child

she knows it’s better for her own good to NOT purposely provoke the scary side of Murasakibara, but when that side does come out for other reasons, it’s showtime for her; she’s going to be observing him with hidden glee

she doesn’t talk with him after graduating from Teiko; the next time she’ll see him is during the winter cup, particularly with yosen vs. seirin // it’s another movie marathon for her just watching every players and how they interact with each other (a LITERAL showdown between Teppei and Murasakibara.... Kagami and Himuro.... Himuro and Murasakibara—yeah it’s a field day)

Akashi: (Teiko + present)

she and ore-Akashi get along swell; she is at her surface self the most when conversing with him, not having a need to adjust herself that much from her initial “polite” persona

lots of theoretical talks and hypotheses in studying people and the world; they both respect each other very much

boku-Akashi is a different story; she starts avoiding him tactfully after his other side awakens

the saying “it takes one to know one” is especially true in this case: Akashi is very much aware of her two-facedness, and she is uncomfortable at the fact of him knowing such an innermost secret about herself

at the same time, she knows about where his “other side” “disappeared” to, whereas no one else hadn’t had a clue

both know about each other’s gimmicks and personalities, and throughout the rest of their years at Teiko, it’s a bunch of mind games and careful maneuverings around each other

Akashi finds it thrilling because it’s reminiscent of shogi

she finds this stressful because what the hell please leave me alone i’m trying to avoid you

after she got over her initial anxiety of this newfound revelation of new Akashi, she carefully treads this game and takes the advantage to study how this new side of Akashi ticks

he DEFINITELY caught what she was trying to do with Aomine in dropping hints; in response, he used his role as captain to push Aomine to try harder in games

she DEFINITELY caught what he was trying to do in pushing Aomine in “motivating” him; problem was, she wasn’t going to sacrifice her effort, wellbeing, and life to go against Akashi

after graduating from Teiko, when she still used to observe their practices and games, she was still very much uneasy and tried to downplay her presence to avoid Akashi’s scrutiny (sadly, her presence is too significant) // she really wished she was a Kuroko

she was able to breathe easier once she finds out later that they’re both going to different high schools; she continues to watch more of Rakuzan’s games after finding out that’s where Akashi ended up attending to figure his dynamics with his team + basketball and then predict his current mannerisms off the courts

when ore-Akashi comes back, she’s suspicious at first, but after confirming his character in person, she’s relieved that the “old him” was back (but slightly disappointed that his other self is gone // she kind of found that side of him more interesting to observe)

he still knows how many personas she has under her disposal, but he isn’t going to snitch any time soon

GoMs together: (Teiko + present)

to not give away the fact that she shows different sides to everyone, when everyone gathers/is nearby, she (at least attempts to) becomes a wallflower to observe everyone and act appropriately in the situation if she’s ever addressed to in the group; her name will always come up in some shape or form so she’s prepared to present a neutral persona without throwing people off

since the GoMs all attend different schools, it’s easier for her to socially maneuver around, however she is still cautious when near crowds (before/after games) and groups of people (such as Touou’s team) because they tend to call her over (but she’ll smoothly pretend she didn’t hear/was preoccupied and she’ll slip away)

Haizaki: (Teiko + present)

dear god, she hoped not to ever directly interact with him

he was a morbidly interesting person to observe, from far away // she’s trying to comprehend how this one middle schooler is already so immoral and violent

he’s definitely tried to hit on her, but she smoothly slipped away before he did anything else

it was a never-ending game of weasel and snake; he fancied her because she was someone who was mysterious and “hard to get,” but she’s always slipping away because he was extremely annoying to converse with and she definitely doesn’t want to end up in a fist fight with this guy

this constant chasing was significantly quashed after Akashi ordered him to quit the team (who’s to say that Akashi hadn’t also noticed that Haizaki was trying to harass her? respect women juice)

Haizaki noticed her outside the stadium before his match with kaijo a year later; she was outside ready to enter in before he blocked her way, but after a lot of sugar coating and sidestepping to try to diffuse the situation (she fooled him by feigning interest in him using a slightly more flirtatious, sly persona), she escaped from his grasp once again // it agitated him and that’s why he continued to prowl around outside before he chanced upon Alex and Himuro

Imayoshi: (present)

this guy is an Akashi; he picked up on her multifaceted personality frighteningly fast

except that instead of being wary and observant of her like Akashi would, this guy openly makes passive-aggressive remarks referring to her personality; no one except her would understand his real intentions behind those comments (they inwardly scare and piss her off)

he also had the upperclassman advantages to openly talk to her very casually and harp on her (on the other hand, Akashi was a year younger than her), so he very much does every thing to get under her skin and rile her up

she employs a more sarcastic persona to match up with Imayoshi, but that just makes him more determine to break her facades; in the end, to keep her cool, she just settled for a default polite persona while still shooting occasional flippant responses at him

TLDR; this guy has the same hobby as she does in getting reactions out of people to study them, except Imayoshi is an actual psychic in deciphering people out; perhaps he’s even better at these things than her

Momoi unintentionally helps her out by always telling Imayoshi to “stop bothering her so much,” and all he does is a mock-surrender, replying cheerfully that it was all in good fun

he definitely makes her job harder by trying to be a smartass when she gives him instructions and lists in how to improve his mental acuity; she quickly shuts his attempts down, and he always calls her an “absolute killjoy”

while she knows it’s beneficial to observe an individual who has a similar hobby like herself to see and compare the similarities/differences, Imayoshi makes it really difficult because his keen senses plus her huge presence makes him able to pick her out most of the time

                     *she’s only able to safely observe him when he’s on the courts

                     *other times, she dutifully avoids him unless when she’s doing her job

are they friends? it’s hard to say; they act like they’re familiar with each other but it’s a love-hate relationship // she respects his intuition but she frowns on his personality (it’s the fact that he acts like he knows everything and she knows he also puts up a few “nice guy” facades of his own)

he’s probably the first guy to actually break through her personas completely and get her to snap and yell at him unabashedly one evening when they were walking to a nearby convenience store because he was tagging along (Momoi was with Aomine at the time)

                     *at that moment, she probably also gave Imayoshi a shock for his life for the first time outside of the games

                     *she coughed and went back to her polite persona like nothing happened and that just made him so much more amused

they’re frenemies and rivals, trying to outdo the other in poking each other mentally and out-acting the other

Sakurai: (present)

first impressions of this kid: she pities him a lot

sometimes, she says various things to see if he‘ll apologize just to see which trigger words get him in a sweat to say “sorry”

she’ll either be a *gentler* polite person or take on a more stern/serious side (used with Midorima and sometimes Murasakibara); the latter would be used to try to toughen the poor guy up mentally

increasing Sakurai’s cognitive acuity would be the most difficult considering the fact that (combined with Momoi’s data) there’s a direct relationship between his physical and mental stamina; if he’s extremely exhausted, his mental sharpness declines dramatically along with it

he’s not considered the sharpest tool in the shed, and his naiveté tends to show when he asks innocent questions about her and her life, and one day, this guy accidentally hit the nail on the head when he asked about her family out of curiosity, which was her touchiest subject

                     *she did have a moment of shock and took some time to recollect herself and deflect the subject elsewhere, but Sakurai picked her hesitance up as a sign of offense and spewed a plethora of apologies (to which she had to calm the boy down)

                     *from that point on, although still curious, he became a lot more observant and cautious of how she acts around other people (at first he was watching so he can learn how to not offend her and overstep his boundaries)

as time progresses (especially after their loss at the winter cup), and the more Sakurai just asks her about many things, she does loosen up around him; he does eventually bring up the topic of family (not necessarily hers, but his own) to try to encourage her to talk about her own

Sakurai would be the type of person to be uncharacteristically determined and blunt in particular situations with people whom he considers his friends: here, he would confront her and asked if she was alright and if things were going okay at home

                     *out of curiosity in where he got that confidence boost and respect for him being mentally stronger, she does open up slowly one topic/talk at a time spread out for the next few weeks

both of their different curiosities for each other would lead to them being close friends ´･ᴗ･` (she makes him a more self-assured person and he gives her time to be her true self [or at least develop one], and other than annoying her with his occasional sorry’s, he doesn’t overwhelm her with his presence)

[songtoyou]

Chapter 2: First Meeting

Tolerate It

Paring: Modern!Tommy Shelby x Original Female Character

Story Rating: R (No minors should read this fic).

Word Count: 2,778

Warnings: Mentions of sexual assault. Sexual activity between two consenting adults.

Description: Tommy Shelby is the owner and CEO of Shelby Company Limited. Starting out as a Bookmaker, Tommy had big ideas to expand his riches. In the past ten years, the company has grown rapidly to expand its business ventures from bars to producing alcohol, manufacturing motor vehicle parts, and exporting. One of the richest men in Great Britain, Tommy Shelby, has it all. Unfortunately, the death of his wife, Grace, left the multi-millionaire mogul alone and depressed. He needed someone to fulfill his needs and deepest darkest desires.

A/N: Again, the response to this fic has been wonderful. We learn more about Rose and find out why Lizzie left. Rose meets Tommy for the first time and begins the process of solidifying their arrangement. 

Note: Italics represent the past or past conversations.

Feedback is wonderful. It is nice knowing if people actually like this fic. 

I do not permit my work to be posted on any other site without my permission.

Saturday rolled faster than a blink of an eye. Rose was not nervous about tonight's meeting with her new client. A part of her was looking forward to it. Taking the time to look up Tommy Shelby on the Internet, Rose found out more about the man she would be possibly spending most of her time around. His backstory was interesting. The man started from nothing. It was no wonder Tommy was a massive celebrity within the business community. Inspiring entrepreneurs looked up to him and how he accumulated his wealth.

Rose was aware that Tommy's business practices were not always ethical, just like she knew that Alfie, Luca, and her other clients all dealt in questionable behavior to stay ahead of the game. It was like these guys did not know that the 1920s were long gone, and their little gangs should have considered obsolete in these present times. But it was not her job to question them as part of her did not care. All Rose wanted was to get paid and have a little pleasure herself once in a while. She hoped Tommy was good in bed as Lizzie mentioned he was. She had no reason not to believe her former coworker. 

It was a terrible incident at the club that made Lizzie leave for good. All because of Oswald Mosley and his sick and deviant behavior. Oswald was a Member of Parliament for South Staffordshire and the youngest member of the Conservative party. His influence within the party continued to gain strength as the young politician expressed his outlandish views that tended to lean towards fascism. Many other MPs have tried to rebuke Mosley's power but to no avail. His supporters only rallied behind him more. He was garnering more attention and enthusiasm to start his very own nationalist party within Great Britain. This idea worried many other MPs, even within the Conservative Party.

As Mosley's profile continued to rise, he found himself needing a form of release. It did not take long for him to receive an invitation to join Excelsior. Politicians were another form of clientele for the club. However, word soon spread about Mosley's odd behavior with the girls. The man had a weird fetish for rape and sexual assault fantasies. Not many girls wanted to partake in that act. Rose quickly passed on having Mosley as one of her clients since non-consensual/dubious consent was not something she gravitated towards when it came to pleasure.

Some of the girls confided in Rose they felt after being with Mosley. Many were scared to inform Izabella or Tatiana in fear of getting fired. Unfortunately, it took the incident with Lizzie that left her brutally scarred, both physically and psychologically, to have Mosley permanently banned from Excelsior. What made it worse was that no one could do anything to Mosley outside the club, no police reports, no arrests, nothing. He was too powerful.

The only thing Lizzie said to Rose was that Mosley took it too far and that she was rethinking her time at the club. When Lizzie did not show up for three days, Rose knew that she left the life of escorting for good.

Giving herself one last look in the mirror, Rose opted for the wine-colored long drape dress, with a silver belt to extenuate her hips, and topped it off with silver ankle strap heels. Satisfied with how she looked, Rose grabbed her clutch (silver as well) and walked towards the front door.

"Mom, you are coming home later, right?" asked Louis as he sat in the living room watching television.

"Uh…probably won't be home until late. I'm simply hanging out with the girls. Don't wait up, sweetie," said Rose kissing her son on the top of his head.

"Aren't you a little too dressed up for a girl's night out?"

"Louis, darling, here is some advice about women. We like to look nice now and then. It makes us feel good. So, don't ever question why your mummy is all dolled up, okay. The girls and I are celebrating Ellie's promotion at the firm. That is all. Now, do not stay up too late. See you later, love."

"Bye, mum."

Rose hated lying to her son, but there was no way she would ever reveal the truth to him about how they could afford their lifestyle.

As a teen mom, Rose worked tirelessly from different part-time jobs to get food on the table. She was tired of struggling to make ends meet. Rose wanted more for her son. By Rose's mid-twenties, she bit the bullet and became an exotic dancer. The nerves and humiliation wore off quickly when Rose counted her tips. It was the most she had ever made and all in one night. She had no intentions of ever becoming a high-end call girl. But again, the money proved to be too good to pass up. It also helped the Duchess and Princess give their girls some sense of agency and control over what they do and partake in certain activities. Rose's clients did not seem to understand or realize that she held all of the power. She was not a puppet, nor was she naïve.

Tommy continued to check his watch every fifteen minutes. Rose was not late by any means; it was merely a habit. It gave him something to do since he was not allowed to smoke at The Savoy. He instructed Rose to meet at the hotel's bar and restaurant at precisely 9:00 p.m.

He was not nervous as Tommy Shelby did not get nervous. He wanted to get the night started. The man needed some release.

"Mr. Shelby," spoke the hostess. "I have a Miss Turner here to see you."

"Yes, thank you. Send Miss Turner over, please," ordered Tommy and downed his glass of Irish whiskey in one gulp.

For a second, Tommy thought he forgot how to breathe when he saw Rose walk towards him. He would not deny that she was breathtakingly beautiful.

"Mr. Shelby," she greeted him with a quick kiss on his cheek. Thankfully, no lipstick residue on his face. Men hated when that happened, Rose learned.

"Miss Turner. It is a pleasure to meet you in person finally," said Tommy as he helped Rose into her seat. He could be a gentleman when he wanted to be one.  His Aunt Polly raised him right.

After giving her drink order to the waiter and a refill for Tommy, the two were left alone for the time being. Unsure of where the conversation should start, Rose chose to cut to the chase.

"How do you want tonight to go, exactly? Are we here to talk about, I don't know what you call it, our agreement, our arrangement? Or should we…"

"I say we talk about what we like and don't like," Tommy cut Rose off.

When the waiter brought their drinks, Rose took a sip of her white wine, while Tommy sipped his whiskey.

"My file should have included my interests. What I will and won't do with a man," Rose reminded him.

"Indeed, it did, but a file can only tell me so much. I would rather hear it from you, Miss Turner. So, tell me, what gets you off?" asked Tommy in a low voice as he leaned over the table. Thankfully, the two were at a back corner table with no other patrons around.

Taking another sip of her wine, Rose leaned in as well. "I like being dominated. From your file, you like being the dominant one. I like being tied up, gagged, and made to cum over and over again until I can't take it anymore. Orgasm denial, I like that as well—humiliation or degradation, whatever you want to call it. I don't care for that at all. It has never turned me on."

"What about pain? What is your pain threshold?" Tommy questioned.

"Pretty high."

"So, nipple clamps, whips, floggers…none of that bothers you?"

Rose shook her head 'no' and asked Tommy what kinds of punishment he prefers.

"Spankings with my bare hands and edging. Punishments only occur if I deem you being bratty or don't follow my rules."

Rose nodded, indicating she understood. "Pretty standard forms of punishment for a dominant."

The waiter stopped by again, asking if they wanted another drink or order some food. "I'm okay, thank you," said Rose.

"I liked to order champagne for our room, please," Tommy requested and told the waiter his room number. Rose was not surprised that he was in one of the hotel's suites. On different occasions, she had been to The Savoy Hotel, mostly with her other clients for leisurely visits now and then when they called for her services.

Taking another sip of her drink, Rose started to feel unsure to ask Tommy next. "Is there anything particular that you like or don't like?"

Gulping down his whiskey once again, Tommy stood up from his seat and helped you out of yours.

"Let's head up, and I can show you what I like. You can take your drink with you," mentioned Tommy buttoning up his suit jacket.

Rose gulped down her wine and grabbed her purse. "No need. I'm ready," she said and looped her arm around his. Tommy kept his strides short throughout the walk to the elevator. Rose noticed how the other hotel patrons all seemed to fawn over the man she was with while the employees moved out of his way. Rose found it amusing when in the elevator the people who were already in quickly left, leaving them alone on the ride up to his suit.

"People go out of their way to accommodate you, don't they, Mr. Shelby. Must be nice to have all that power over others," Rose stated admiringly.

Tommy smirked and looked at Rose, "When you come from nothing, you work extra hard to achieve everything, even peoples' fear of you. What about you? Must you find it exhilarating to have powerful men at your fingertips? I would not be shocked that once your clients and I told Tatiana that I have an idea of who they are, well, they are not going to be happy about losing you to me. I have a lot of enemies, Miss Turner, but rest assure that while you are in my company, you will be safe and protected."

The elevator dinged indicated they made it to their destination. Leading the way once again, Tommy steered them down the hall and stopped at the door of his suite. Once he got Rose inside, he took off his suit jacket and opened the doors to the balcony where he could finally get his nicotine fix. He offered one to Rose, but she declined. Tommy watched as Rose looked around the suite. He took this time to look at the woman before him; she would not be deemed the model-type with her 5'7 stature, nor was she skin and bones. Dark brown hair ran past her shoulders, and her skin had a lovely complexion. Tommy took one last drag of his cigarette and stubbed it out on the balcony.

He slowly walked up behind Rose and wrapped his strong arms around, inhaling her scent; he began to grind himself against her backside. Rose promptly reciprocated and matched his rhythm. Trailing kisses down Rose's neck, Tommy moved his hands to squeeze her breasts. He quickly turned her around and began kissing her on the mouth. His dominant side was finally allowed to be released.

When Rose pulled away, it took Tommy by surprise. When he began to pull Rose back towards him, she put her hands on his chest. "I need to freshen up first, is that okay?"

Letting out a sigh, Tommy motioned her towards the bathroom. "I won't be long; I promise," assured Rose. Once in the bathroom, she began to take off her heels and dress. She hung her dress on the door hook, placed her heels to the side, and then looked herself over in the mirror. Smoothing out her hair, Rose dug in her clutch to quickly check her phone. No messages from her son. Now, Rose would be able to focus on the task at hand entirely.

Rose exited the bathroom to see Tommy waiting for her on the couch, no longer wearing his tie and vest, shirt partly unbuttoned. She walked towards him, where he indicated he wanted Rose on her knees. Spreading his legs, Rose kneeled and began unzipping his pants, reaching for his hardened member and gave it a few strokes. She looked up to see Tommy stretch and lay his head back against the couch, indicated he was comfortable and was ready for Rose to begin. Rose licked her lips and opened her mouth to take him in as much as far as possible. Rose did not stop until she felt him at the back of her throat.

Rose pulled away for a second to lick off the precum of Tommy's dick before proceeding to lick the entire length. She went back to sucking once Tommy put his hand in her hair. He bobbed her head back and forth at a fast pace. Tommy felt like he was about to explode his load in Rose's mouth he backed off. Rose took the time to catch her breath. She watched as Tommy took off his shirt and got up from the couch.

"Up," he ordered, and Rose followed obediently.

She never took her eyes off Tommy while he walked to the bedroom.

"Take this off," Tommy ordered, indicating he wanted her bra off.

Once again, Rose followed his orders. She tossed the bra to the side, and Tommy walked closer to her. He reached for her breast and began to squeeze them, tugging on her nipples. When he started to pull her nipples extra hard, Rose let out a little squeak.

"Too hard?" Tommy asked and released his tight grip.

"No. I mean, it hurts, but it feels good too," Rose answered truthfully.

Tommy once again started pulling on her nipples as hard as he could without hurting Rose too much. He pressed his lips against hers. Rose quickly reciprocated the action and ran her hands through his hair. Backing Rose towards the bed, he lightly pushed her, where she softly plopped down. Tugging her underwear down, Tommy tossed them to the side and ran a finger up-and-down her folds.

"Wet, as I expected. Let me see how many fingers you can take, shall we," amused Tommy and slipped, not one, but two fingers inside Rose. He soon began pumping his fingers in and out.

He kept going while Rose emitted more moans from her mouth. She was panting and getting closer to needing release. But she knew a sweet release would not come easy. No, Tommy was going to have Rose work for it. She was about the beg to cum when Tommy pulled his fingers out of her cunt.

Tracing his thumb against her clit, Rose let out a squeal at the new feeling. Tommy smirked. That feeling of control, control over this woman's body, it's what made Tommy feel at ease. It allowed for his head to feel clear. Tommy did not have to worry about business deals or rival gangs; instead, his focus was all on the woman before him writhing in pleasure.

Inserting his fingers back in her cunt, Tommy added a third finger this time. Rose sat up on her elbows to watch Tommy. She saw the looked of deep concentration on his face. When he reached that spot, Rose jerked up, and Tommy used his free hand to push her back down on the bed.

"I'm going to cum. I need to cum," Rose panted out, but Tommy kept going.

"Not yet," he merely said. "You do not cum until I say you can, understood." It was an order, not a question.

"Yes…yes sir," Rose managed to say. She did not know how long she would last.

"Cum!" Tommy commanded and Rose more than happily followed it.

Pure bliss is all Rose felt until Tommy pried her mouth open with the fingers that were in her.

"Lick them clean for me, love. Taste yourself."

When she licked his fingers clean, Tommy took off his pants and underwear. He crawled on top of Rose and began kissing her stomach, each breast, her neck, and finally lips.

"You're not tired out yet, are you love?" he asked her.

When Rose shook her head no, Tommy leaned in to whisper in her ear, "Good. It is going to be a long night for you."

[bre-meister]

9 &/or 10 (Dialogue Prompts) for cleon !! TY FOR FEEDING US

9. “I just wish things could have turned out differently between us, you know?” 

Mall trips were always...interesting. Perhaps it stems from the insanity that was his everyday life, but Leon always felt that doing things so mundane like going to the mall was kind of weird? But, weird in a good way. He wasn’t sure exactly how to describe it. D.S.O Agent Leon Kennedy wasn’t sure exactly how to feel about it as he stood surrounded by little tiny onesies and itty bitty tutus and headbands; cribs, strollers, changing tables, and more displayed on top of the shelves reaching up towards the high ceilings of the store. Well, that’s a lie, Leon did know how he felt - awkward, out of place even.

He wasn’t exactly sure why that was the case, especially considering this wasn’t his first rodeo so to speak. Though, last time Claire had done most of the shopping for the smaller things. His preparatory skills were mostly limited to ordering the bigger things online once Claire had picked them out and then assembling them after they had arrived. 

When his wife had asked him to come along this time - mainly to help wrangle little Izzy who had insisted on helping pick out clothes for her new little sister - Leon couldn’t say no. He had nothing else to do on an unnaturally normal Saturday and spending the day with his family sounded like heaven after spending the week doing paperwork. He just hadn’t anticipated the sheer amount of things they actually needed to get. Technically speaking, they should have all of the said items at home from when Isabelle had been little - and they did have some. Some of her baby things had been lost in a move a while back - a two-bedroom apartment in the heart of D.C was great for him and Claire but not necessarily for a little girl. The couple had also given away some things to one of Claire’s co-workers who had needed some baby clothes and such. They truly had not expected to have another child, what with their hectic lifestyle but Leon would be lying if he said he wasn’t extremely excited for the new baby.

So, things having been lost one way or another, they had to replace almost everything; which was fine considering Leon’s paycheck alone was enough for them to live fairly comfortably. Chris was always making snide comments about his “government money”, he might as well put it to good use. Which is how the small family found themselves in the non-descript baby store on an even less notable Saturday afternoon. But, despite coming in with two girls, Leon now found himself alone hence the unnecessarily awkward feelings. Claire and Isabell had stepped out for a short moment to find a bathroom, his pregnant wife needing to go nearly just as bad as their four-year-old. 

“Leon?” a voice called from the doorway of the store that leads out to the mall.

Leon looked up confused, that was the direction that his wife and daughter had disappeared to but that voice sounded nothing like Claire’s. Upon laying eyes on the source of the noise Leon felt his confusion shift to something else.

He hadn’t thought he could feel more awkward but somehow, he managed. Calling his name was a living ghost. Leon didn’t have much time to consider that oxymoron before the blast from his past in the form of an objectively beautiful woman entered the store and made her way towards him.

“Oh my gosh! It is you - Leon Kennedy. What’s it been, like five, six years?”

“Yeah,” Leon swallowed awkwardly, “something like that.” If he remembered correctly, it had been much longer than that.

As if coming to his senses, Leon suddenly realized how rude he was being - a former fling or not, Claire would have scolded him if she saw the way he was behaving now. He chuckled awkwardly to cover up how...awkward he was feeling. Quietly, Leon wished he could think of a word or a feeling that was not “awkward”.

“How have you been, Cindy?” He hoped she didn’t catch the upward lit of his greeting when he got to her name - he wasn’t exactly sure he’d remembered correctly.

“Oh ya know, working, shopping,” she gestured to the bags in her hands, “this and that. I’m good though, how about you?” If she noticed his hesitance at her name she didn’t let it outwardly bother her.

Leon looked around before answering, trying to see if he could spot Claire anywhere - no luck. Apparently, at this moment, Leon was two things: awkward and incredibly unlucky.

“Ya know, work, family, shopping,” he mirrored Cindy both in his statement and bodily actions. Motioning to the pack of baby bottles in his hands that he had been mulling over he hoped that Cindy would take the hint - Leon purposefully having emphasized the word family.

Yet again, if Cindy noticed she didn’t let it deter her. She placed a well-manicured hand on Leon’s bicep, gently squeezing all the while batting her eyes in what he assumed was supposed to be a sultry manner. Not many things could be taken as sultry when surrounded by pacifiers and burping cloths. 

“I was genuinely surprised when I saw you, and in a baby store of all places. Never would have thought of you as the settling down kinda man. Then, I thought that you were probably just shopping for a friend or a family member, ya know like a shower gift or something. I also thought you’d might want some help, ya know, a woman’s touch. So, here I am” 

At that the hand on his arm began to move up and down, those red-colored nails causing involuntary goosebumps to rise on his skin. Apparently, Cindy had been doing a lot of thinking in the last few minutes. Doing some thinking on his own, Leon came to the realization that he’d used to think he loved the color red on a woman. Now, he realizes that he loves the color red on one particular woman. 

Before he could get a word in to stop whatever was happening in its tracks, Cindy started up again. Her attention had shifted to the things on the self in front of him, finally removing her hand from his arm. That didn’t mean that she wasn’t done with her not so subtle come on though.

“Sometimes I just wish things could have turned out differently between us ya know? Maybe this could have been us together, shopping for our own baby,” Cindy let out a small laugh at her own imagined scenario. 

“I don’t.” He said confidently, happy that the awkward had finally made his way out of his system.

Apparently so had the unluckiness because as Cindy looked up at him, a confused frown on her face, any response she was about to formulate was cut short by a tiny body barreling into Leon’s legs.

“Daddy, Mommy and I saw the coolest candy store and she said that if I’m a good girl then we can go after we're done here! Are we done yet?” Isabelle let out, seemingly in one breath.

Leon laughed, both at his daughter's enthusiasm to curb her sweet tooth and at the look on Cindy’s face. He knew it was rude but the genuine shock was just too good to let slip and she was too wrapped up in said shock to notice.

“No baby girl, we are not done yet. Although trust me, I would much rather be in the candy store,” She looked to Leon as she approached, her next words directed towards him, “their chocolate display was pretty impressive.” 

Leon wanted to laugh at his two girls. Instead, he coughed a little, nodding his head discreetly towards Cindy - an action he knew only his wife would notice.

“Oh! I’m so sorry. How rude of me, I'm Claire and you are?”

Cindy had managed to pick up her jaw from where it had fallen on the floor but still seemed to be too stunned to speak.

“Claire, this is Cindy, an old friend of mine. We haven’t seen each other in a while so when she spotted me from the window outside she came in to say hi. Cindy, this is my wife, Claire, and my daughter, Isabelle.”

Isabelle waved shyly from where she had retreated behind her daddy’s leg. Leon felt that was a little odd considering usually Izzy was a boisterous little girl who loved to talk - even to strangers. Perhaps she was tired, or maybe Cindy just rubbed her the wrong way - he’d heard kids were perceptive like that. It certainly didn’t help that Cindy’s face had been akin to a fish what with all the open-mouthed gaping when both girls had returned. 

“It's wonderful to meet you, Claire.” the tone of her voice said that this meeting was anything but wonderful. 

Still, Cindy held out her hand and the two politely shook. Leon couldn’t help but notice Cindy’s gaze falling on Claire’s hand returning to her noticeable bump as they pulled away. What was left of the color in her face drained and at that moment, Leon could tell that the woman made a tactical decision to save whatever was left of her dignity. 

“Well, I just came in to say hi. Leon looked a little lost on his own but now that I see he is not alone I suppose I should continue on my way. I still have a few stores to hit before I can go home. Congrats, by the way.” Cindy motioned towards Claire’s midsection at her baby bump.

“Thanks,” Leon said, in unison with his wife. 

Cindy turned to leave, giving one more awkward smile before she left - funny how the tables had turned in that way. Leon almost felt bad for her. It was obvious by her comment that she was still searching for the peaceful family life that he was forever grateful he’d found with Claire.

 I just wish things could have turned out differently between us ya know?

That one statement carried so much weight. Leon knew that eventually, Cindy would find the one who was right for her, and together they could shop baby necessities until her heart's content. But, as for him, looking at his two girls fawn over pink and purple onesies meant for his soon-to-be girl number three, he couldn’t say he agreed. This is where he was meant to be - with them. 

He knew he’d do anything for them, follow them anywhere. Even, he thought, overpriced, extravagant, mall candy stores. Although he had to admit, Claire wasn’t wrong about the chocolate display, it was pretty impressive.

[oneweekoneband]

her Nebraska (1982)

In July I flew to Massachusetts with a plague on, and I felt that it was wrong, but my mother had begged and I’d been out of work for months. Mornings there I ran in long, uneven ovals on the same roads I’d memorized in high school. There’s no sidewalks, but the few feet of dirt between the craggy pavement and the open mouths of the fields serve all right for a single body in motion. When a truck comes up close from behind, the ground shakes, and I step away bouncingly from the street toward thigh-high yellow weeds and grass, and keep going. I was slowly picking my way back in that dirt, sweat-slick from only a plodding couple of miles in peak summer heat, and sucking the wet cotton of my mask in between my teeth on every inhale, when Taylor Swift announced she was releasing a surprise album produced by the guy from The National. Not the guy from The National, like, the voice, but the guy from The National whose photo was circulated on Twitter earlier this year as some kind of antifa super soldier, which isn’t the case, but would’ve been rad. First, I stopped dead to send some outraged, misspelled text messages, and then I ran home faster than I’d moved in years.

Tall, blonde, patrician pop star Taylor Swift is to me something like a cross-between a wife and a boogeyman. Bound we’ve been since we were really children. Time and its changes haven’t rid me of her, and what’s worse is I have never quite been able to wish they would, though I claim as much all the time. Countless hours of my one wild and precious life have been spent on endlessly analyzing the minutiae of Taylor Swift’s music, the mind that made it, the real world events which influenced it. And though all the while I have known she is only a person, and that people, while each strange and lovely in their own ways, are, in the end, mostly dull, needful in just the regular manner, the fantasy is better, the sick dream of a megalomaniac songstress, curious, thrilling, probably evil, and I choose that. I don’t know Taylor Alison Swift, born to this world in, I presume, the usual way. But my Taylor Swift? I’m a renowned expert. I’ve always eaten up stories—movies, music, celebrity news, the one my grandfather tells about falling off his bike once in Ireland as a boy and his face “cracking open like an egg”—like a starved dog. I’m obsessive about my interests, but not inclined to intense fandom, and certainly not fandom in the mode of the stan. For one, I’m too self-absorbed. But caring intensely for a famous person is falling in love with a ghost, and that’s all right—I mean, what the hell? We’re here together just dying... Let’s enjoy—but is an affair best undertaken with the knowledge that everyone alive has their own complex interiority, as unruly as your own, and that you, a stranger, are not in any real way connected to the lawless, blurry middle of that celebrity, and will never be. It’s freeing and fun to know this. I mean, these people are basically in your employ. Glamorous dollhouse dwellers. Acknowledging that uncrossable distance allows for a different, healthier closeness of pure imagination. My feelings, then, can comfortably be at once both fiercely intense and entirely silly. I am a foremost scholar in the art of the Taylor Swift who exists in my head. The real person raised in Pennsylvania I don’t know at all. I have some conjectures on the matter, and, as with all my conjectures, every hackneyed theory, each picky little opinion, I’m sure they’re perfect, brilliant, just absolutely right, but that’s still all they are. Taylor Swift, figure of the cultural imagination, is the Jodie Comer to my Sandra Oh in Killing Eve, annoying and pretty in frills, taunting me endlessly and holding us trapped together in a dance of most enchanting death. But the real Taylor Swift has favorite bed sheets and a social security number and a British boyfriend, none of which I have any desire to know about, and if I saw her at a restaurant I’d politely avert my eyes before, yes, dive-bombing the group text. There’s nobody on Earth I’d stand in line to speak to, but then I’ve been speaking to a certain figment of Taylor Swift for nearly half my life.

I went to a Taylor Swift concert the night before I moved into college in 2009. My father’s work friend, firefighter by day, near professional gambler by night, got comped tickets to the Fearless Tour stop taking place at the nearby casino, and he let me have them as a reward, mainly, for happening to be seventeen. Live in-person and performed acoustically, “Fifteen” made me cry. A few years after that, in the thick, sticky part of my first post-college summer, I wrote approximately twenty-three million words about her in these very pages.  (”Pages”) At that point, Taylor’s most recent release was 2012’s Red, and the work I produced that long ago July about Taylor and her career, writing I was fairly pleased with at the time, feels now, besides just being extremely clearly written by a twenty-one year old, strange to me for the way it favors the sweet over the sour almost uniformly. There is a wholesome kind of ardor in that writing which maybe I’ve outgrown the ability to hold. Or maybe Taylor just proceeded to spend the next half a decade plus releasing one bad single after another, and it was taste—and trespasses against taste—and not some shift in my nature which altered the tenor of our bond. I have real love for my particular image, gleaned from public statements and published art, of smart, bizarre famous woman Taylor Swift, and I admire the bulk of her output very much. I’m just no longer so inclined to fawn. This is not to say I am here to offer a Taylor Swift hate screed. I couldn’t swing it, and, anyway, I’m not a pop feminist-for-hire circa 2010. But we’re older now. Things are different. At twenty-eight, twenty-nine this month—Taylor will, also this December, turn thirty-one—I regard Taylor Swift warily, like an ex with whom you have a tentative friendship, perpetually on the brink of falling one way or the other into hatred or delight, only to wobble back the opposite direction again at the slightest provocation, but still, despite best efforts, even, I regard her all the time. 

folklore was released at midnight on July 24th 2020, but I was at a cabin in rural Vermont without Internet or cell service. I drank Bud Light seltzers with my mother while watching the eerie pandemic return of Major League Baseball, and when I got into a strange bed there I stewed, knowing there were people out in the world all over who were hearing Taylor Swift songs I never had, and that this was a fundamental wrong, a disruption in the balance of the universe. I listened to it the next morning in a Dunkin’ Donuts parking lot. 

And folklore is great. That’s the terrible thing. Slightly less great, maybe, than some people have insisted, tricked, I think, by just the pronounced shift in sound. But it’s great. A little gift I asked for a thousand times and was still surprised to get, like a wife who didn’t expect her henpecked husband to ever follow through and buy the paraffin wax hand bath as-see-on-TV. For years, I’ve been halfheartedly insisting that Taylor had a great album in her. I’d say it even, perhaps especially, while she stubbornly fed me gruel. Or worse, gruel with the occasional whiff of something better. With a ripe, little raspberry dropped into the slop. The bright, villainous thrill of “Getaway Car” made me believe Taylor, my Taylor, was in there somewhere under the lacquer of sequins and synth, which, while not objectionable by default, seemed a costume, and an ill-fitting one. The lived-in world of “Cornelia Street” made those old scars sting. That gay “Delicate” video. When she did “Call It What You Want” on SNL and played guitar while wearing an ugly sweater. If the abominable “ME!”, lead single off Lover, was the stick, 1989’s “Clean” was the carrot. I was Charlie Brown, and Taylor my Lucy, yanking the football back again and again. Over drinks I still yelled that Taylor Swift’s next album would be, “her Nebraska”, referring to my favorite Bruce Springsteen record, and learned to live with that egg on my face for good. I suppose I even came to like it. There was something inherently funny in taking up, like, “blind faith in the as of yet untapped greater artistic potential of massively wealthy and popular singer Taylor Swift” as my totally inane personal cause du jour, and eventually it was a bit, a gag I performed to be obstinate and didactic, but way down somewhere awful near my kidneys I meant it the whole while. And then she did it. A pandemic befell the world and amid a sea of human suffering Taylor Swift remembered she can write. She wrote, and with a massive, crucial assist from Aaron Dessner, whose music on this record is sometimes so beautiful it actually angers me, as the last thing I needed in already perilous times was to be made to try and marry my uniquely perverse emotional responses to beloved divorced dad band The National and fucking Taylor Swift,  she made an album which, if not her Nebraska, per se (I’ve come to realize that a major part of believing Taylor Swift will one day make an album I find as quietly devastating and gorgeous as Nebraska is knowing that no album will ever actually be Her Nebraska... That each will, rather, to me, be more and more evidence that it’s coming still, more proof that the limit is untouched, on and on ad infinitum, or at least until the seas take us into a place of salty peace.) is a shocking credit to all my hard-fought and deluded confidence. folklore is great. This fact has made me feel almost equally as disoriented from my understanding of the world as the time-melting COVID-19 lockdowns have, and it turned my Spotify year in review annual collective AI humiliation kink thing into a glaring indictment of my mental state, but still, I mean... It’s great.

In talking about folklore a bit this week, there are a number of specific topics I intend to cover—what a thrill it is to hear Taylor say “fuck”; Taylor’s terrifying birth chart; the astoundingly perfect bridge of “the last great american dynasty”; “because my ass is located at the back of my body”; the bit in last year’s “Lover” where deranged WASP Taylor Swift implies that to “leave the Christmas lights up til January” is some signifier of being a love-struck bohemian, when actually everyone who doesn’t employ domestic staff to take their lights down does this; how reputation is the best of the Taylor Swift records released in the latter half of the 2010s, actually, and the people who can’t see that are cowards—but intend mostly to let the muse move me where she will. Against the advice of my better angels, she—that tie-in marketing eldritch terror—always does.

[lov3nerdstuff]

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 2.1}

*Severus Snape x OC*

Summary: It is the year 1983 when the ordinary life of Robin Mitchell takes a drastic turn: she is accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Despite the struggles of being a muggle-born in Slytherin, she soon discovers her passion for Potions, and even manages the impossible: gaining the favor of Severus Snape. Throughout the years, Robin finds that the not quite so ordinary Potions Professor goes from being a brooding stranger to being more than she had ever deemed possible. An ally, a mentor, a friend... and eventually, the person she loves the most. Through adventure, prophecies and the little struggles of daily life in a castle full of mysteries, Robin chooses a path for herself, an unlikely friendship blossoms into something more, and two people abandoned by the world can finally find a home.

General warnings: professor x student (however no underage romance), blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 5k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

______________________________

The end of Robin's first year at Hogwarts had come sooner than expected. She had done fairly well in all of her exams, even defense against the dark arts, despite her previous concerns. After the incident in March, Professor Morgan actually had as good as ignored her for the remainder of the school year, and merely given her grades slightly worse than she believed she deserved. Nothing out of the ordinary, and the same could be said for the other subjects. She had made efforts however, since that night, to become better in charms, and it had paid off in terms of both grades and knowledge. It still hadn't sufficed to beat herbology, leave alone potions, but she felt comfortable with more spells than she had learned in class, and that ought to be enough.

Thus, when summer had finally forced Robin to return home to her parents' house, she had actually felt content with her overall progress of the past year, but also desperately ready for a break in all the learning.

That sentiment however had lasted for a mere week, and without the possibility to borrow books from her favorite potions professor, Robin soon had found the necessity to find other methods to keep herself busy, and distract herself from missing school. Those methods mainly had entailed sitting in on summer classes at the university her parents worked for, and while a twelve year old wasn't really the intended audience for any of those classes, Robin had been surprised to find that she actually had understood quite a lot of the entry level subjects. Thus her summer had been filled with classes on history, cultural studies and art –which had turned out to be more about architecture than about art after all– and she had learned a lot while yet being systematically excluded from everything not class related by both the regular students and the professors. Her parents hadn't been any better, as they had been working day in day out as always, ignoring her as always, saying "that's nice, sweetie" as always.

Only upon her return to Hogwarts for the beginning of her second year, Robin had actually felt like she belonged once more. Both the castle and the landscape gave her a feeling of finally being able to breathe again, after a long time of existing in a room with too little air. Sure, seeing her parents had been nice to some degree, but only at Hogwarts did she actually feel like a person of value again. At her parents house, she was an asset in a game that wasn't hers to play. At Hogwarts however she was Robin, and the master of her own fate. Even if to the others she was still the muggle born Slytherin who spent more time with her books than with her peers.

And just like that, she happily threw herself back into her classes and assignments, picking things right back up where she had left off last term.

The members of her study group started talking about their O.W.L.s and about fairly little else quite early on, and Robin soon found herself annoyed by them more than she appreciated their company. Thus she started to spend more and more time studying by herself instead, and eventually also eating by herself as well. Unlike last year, she actually didn't mind not having a permanent group, or anything that came even close to friendships. There was always someone she could sit with, should she choose to do so in the first place, even if that someone was only a brief acquaintance from one of her classes.

Her habit of borrowing books from Professor Snape had to her great luck survived the summer, and right after the first class of the term he had dropped a thick tome about preserving and properly storing different kinds of ingredients on her desk. Not the most interesting read, admittedly, but she would gladly take anything she got. It was still better than those books in the library that all basically said the same thing with different words. She found herself wondering more than once if perhaps they had all been writing by the same person, under different synonyms.

Thus for the following weeks in potions class, whenever they weren't actively brewing anything in particular, Robin would read in that book instead of listening to a lecture about some thing she'd known for half a year already, and to her surprise Professor Snape hadn't complained nor given her an odd look for it even once. Robin soon had realized that they might just have come to the silent agreement that she would learn more if she stuck to her books for now. Well, his books, but nobody needed to know about that. It was an unspoken agreement between them to keep this arrangement to themselves, as well as the quite good terms on which they were with each other at this point. Well, 'good' in Snape's terms at least, which meant that he mostly just let her be for the duration of class and she asked any questions she might have about her reads afterwards.

Eventually this habit, and this particular book especially, had led Robin to discover what she would put into the locket she had been wearing ever since the previous Christmas: a branch of dried dittany. Admittedly, fitting an entire branch into a locket of less than the size of her palm might have posed a problem, had Robin not done her research properly and come across a spell that allowed her to expand the space within the locket to a much greater size than the outside would let on. A simply extending charm, really, but very useful as she found. That only had left one issue remaining, and after having a frank conversation with Professor Sprout (whose favor Robin had gained last year by being the only Slytherin student who actually cared about herbology), Robin had been indeed allowed to take a branch of dittany from the greenhouse. In the week following upon that, she had carefully followed the instructions in the borrowed book and dried the plant while (hopefully) preserving all its qualities, therefore turning her nightstand into the best improvised laboratory she could manage.

At the end of her efforts, she'd actually been quite proud of the outcome, and that is exactly why she had kept the whole endeavour to herself and simply had gone back to wearing the locket every day like she used to, only that now it hid one of the finest healing plants the country had to offer. She'd have to see if she could get her hands on dried mandrake too, at some point. But for now, the dittany would do.

______________

The peace and quiet of her life at Hogwarts lasted for exactly two and a half months after term had started, right up to the point when Professor Morgan decided that it was time to mess with Robin once again. Honestly, while she hadn't really seen it coming this time either, she had indeed known that he eventually would start causing her problems again. And it just happened to be a lot sooner than she expected.

"Miss Mitchell!" His exaggeratedly cheerful voice brought Robin to an immediate halt, and an immediate spark of panic to her heart. It was Saturday night this time around, but yet again right after dinner and in the emptiest and dark hallway Hogwarts had to offer outside of the dungeons. Robin was spotting a scheme here.

"Professor Morgan…" Robin half sighed and half stated as she turned around to face the man in question. After over a year of having to listen to way too many girls fawning over him, she still couldn't understand how anyone could seriously and in good conscience consider this sleazy individual handsome.

"What a strange déjà vu to be having… Feels like it was ages ago that you messed up my classroom." He smiled innocently and shook his head to himself.

"Funny, to me it seems like just yesterday." Robin replied with the most neutral face she could manage.

"Ah, you and your… witty… remarks, how I have -not- missed those over the summer…" He sighed and raised his chin for a moment, peering down at her over the bottom rim of his reading glasses, which he wore only whenever he wanted to look particularly authoritative. Or that's what Robin thought, at least.

"What is it you would like from me this time, sir?" She asked as calmly as possible, while her hands were getting clammy again nonetheless and she had to resist the urge to wipe them on her trousers. That would've been a dead tell of her anxiety, and she didn't want him to see any of it at all.

"You will assist me in class on Monday. I will be demonstrating a spell that seeks out the other's deepest truths. Much like that famous potion, actually, what's it called again…"

"Veritaserum?" Robin suggested with a frown, keeping her face otherwise neutral while her anxiety went through the roof. He seriously wanted to force her to speak whatever truth in front of the entire class by using magic?! Was that even allowed?

"Exactly! However what I intend to show to the class is called legilimency."

"Never heard of it…"

"That is because it is not commonly taught at this institution."

At that, Robin's heart started beating even faster in nervousness. "But… then why would you teach it to us now, sir? And- and why do you need to demonstrate it on me, out of all people?"

Professor Morgan let out a small snort in return. "I'm not teaching it to you, don't be ridiculous… I'm merely using it to demonstrate something. And I chose you to demonstrate it on, because you are an obvious choice. You were so very intent on your honesty and truthfulness last year that I see no reason as for why it should bother you to speak the truth yet again."

"What if I don't want to assist you?" Robin asked quietly, with a lump in her throat that simply refused to be swallowed down, and her only hope was that the darkness of the hallway hid the fear in her eyes at least.

"Well, I would absolutely hate to force you to do it, Miss Mitchell, but I'm afraid you have no choice." He smiled sweetly, with just a touch of feigned sympathy. "Don't worry, it will be over in a blink."

"But-"

"You see, I told you about this beforehand because I came to realize that troublesome young children such as yourself need a role model for their actions, if we ever want something to become of them." He said with another self sufficient sigh, looking around the hallway as if dwelling in the righteousness of his own statement. "I believe one day in the very distant future you will thank me for every lesson I teach you now. So consider yourself lucky that I allow you to participate in this… lesson."

"Yes, sir." Robin gave back in a neutral tone, while her insides however were both on fire and frozen over at the same time. This was Morgan's late revenge for what had happened last term, it had to be… He'd waited until she felt safe, only to strike now. Petty move, honestly… and still Robin felt sick to the stomach.

"Very well!" Morgan was back to cheery. "I will see you in class on Monday. Have a lovely rest of the weekend." Without wasting another glance on her, he turned on his heel, clasped his hands behind his back nonchalantly and walked off into the direction of his classroom.

Robin however remained standing in her spot for a little while longer, heart beating frantically while a cold rush of adrenaline washed over her body in the most uncomfortable manner. Bloody hell, that man scared her more every time she had to interact with him, and it had only gotten exponentially worse since the detention incident. Tears started stinging in her eyes upon the mere thought of going to class on Monday, but she obviously didn't have much of a choice. Even if she found a reason to avoid class on Monday, he would just come at her with the same threat the next class or the one after that, and she couldn't avoid defense against the dark arts classes for the next five years to come. She also didn't want to, she actually liked the subject. It was only Morgan that she despised.

As the adrenaline slowly decreased and made room for rational thoughts once more, Robin also rediscovered her ability to move. Without even having to think about it, her feet carried her down to the dungeons and right to Professor Snape's office. Yet once she was about to knock on his door, her fist stilled mid-air as she finally paused to think. This wasn't a good idea… well, sure, he had told her to find him if she ran into any problems with Professor Morgan, but then again… she really didn't want a repetition of last time. More so for his sake than for her own. Also, she couldn't just come bursting into his office like the frightened idiot she was, hoping to be shown an easy way out of this the very second she asked for it. No, if she was to drag him into this again (and that was a big IF still) she better come to him with a plan already at hand.

Robin pulled her hand back and dropped it to her side with a sigh, then walked backwards until her back gently touched the cold wall on the opposite side of the hallway. What on earth was she even doing… She was a second year student, and Professor Morgan was… well, a professor. A bloody bad one, to her luck, but still… what kind of chance did she stand against him? Especially in regards to a spell that she hadn't even heard about, leave alone knew how to read up on if it wasn't something she was even supposed to learn about in the first place. She wasn't brave enough to go into the restricted section of the library, and the open one only had books appropriate for standard school topics. She couldn't refuse to partake, couldn't use any sort of shielding spell against him… Hell, if he'd just give her good old veritaserum, at least she would know what she was in for. There even were antidotes for that stuff! Actually… Morgan had said that the spell was rather similar to veritaserum. Robin crossed her arms over her chest and started pacing up and down the hallway, passing by the door again and again on each way.

Maybe… maybe she could make the antidote to veritaserum, and take it before class on Monday. Did that help against legi… what was it again? Gosh, she really couldn't concentrate whenever her anxiety got the better of her. And remembering technical terms wasn't all that high on her list of priorities when she was fighting with blind panic on the inside and not showing any of it on the outside. It was an unfair battle, really…

Antidote. Yes. It could work, it had to… it was the best plan she had. Again she walked by the office door, and right past it towards the end of the hallway yet again. How was she supposed to get the recipe for that antidote though? Or the necessary ingredients?! Making veritaserum itself was a rather advanced procedure, and even if Robin was far ahead of her class, she wasn't that good, not even close. The antidote would require even more precision and knowledge. Robin turned around once she reached the end of the hallway, and headed back into the opposite direction. She couldn't do it alone, couldn't do it at all maybe. But she also couldn't just sit by and do nothing while Professor Morgan would make her blurt out every secret she has ever had in class on Monday. Bloody hell…

"Will you stop pacing and come in already?" Snape's deep voice brought both Robin and her thoughts to a sudden halt. She froze in her step and finally lifted her gaze off the floor to see him standing in the doorway a mere two steps to her right, giving her that trademark pretending-to-be-annoyed frown.

Heat rose to Robin's face immediately, and she felt both embarrassed and relieved as he turned to the side to make room for her to enter.

"I'm sorry, sir, I just… I didn't want to bother you." Robin finally remembered to speak, as she sat down in the by now familiar chair across from his own.

"Now that you did, you might as well tell me the reason for it." He replied calmly as he took his own seat with an expectant expression. Robin held his gaze for a moment, then let her eyes wander around the room like she always did, until something caught her sight.

"The small jar with the green liquid in the third shelf from the bottom, second from the right… it stood on the second shelf from the bottom, last time I was here." She said quietly, before she could really convince herself not to. It was a stupid observation, without any meaning probably, but saying this was easier than answering his question.

Professor Snape's frown deepened as he followed Robin's line of sight, before it vanished and his eyebrows rose up high as ever. "It would indeed appear that it was… misplaced."

"Now or then?"

"Why are you here, Miss Mitchell?"

Robin looked down at her hands, as they were nervously fiddling with the edge of her grey jumper on their own accord. Darn it… she didn't even have any real reason to keep secrets from him anymore. He'd seen her cry, seen her desperate and seen her being a complete dunderhead. Snape was probably the only person in Hogwarts she had ever been entirely honest with in the first place, and when she thought about it, she had no intention to change that now.

With a still fragile certainty, she looked up to meet his eye again. "I'm here because I need the instructions for a potion."

His eyebrows lifted even higher, and he almost looked amused once again, but seeing as Robin herself didn't smile even remotely, the brief expression vanished in a blink. "Which potion?"

"The antidote for veritaserum."

"Why, pray tell, do you believe I would simply give it to you?"

"I do not."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I had to try nonetheless." There was no insecurity in her voice, which surprised her a little, but it didn't come unappreciated. This was a serious matter to her, and he might as well know that. At least he hadn't straight up denied her request and thrown her out of the office already.

Instead his eyes narrowed and he sat up a little straighter as he seemed to grasp the gravity the issue held for Robin. "Why do you need that antidote so desperately that you risk asking for it so boldly?"

"Self-preservation." As he merely gave her a look in return, she added, "I was asked to assist in a class on Monday."

"And that justifies your request because…?"

"It's Professor Morgan's class." Robin's voice went down in volume by more than she intended, but she couldn't care less because Snape's face showed an immediate expression of understanding, then question, and irritation at last.

"I see. What did he say to you, exactly?" He asked a bit too darkly for it to be nonchalant or even neutral, and Robin felt an odd sense of relief to see him still disliking the defense against the dark arts professor as much as she did. She only could've hoped that he had not changed his mind since March, and obviously he hadn't. So far so good.

"He said he wants to demonstrate a spell on me that reveals my deepest truths, and that the spell reminded him of veritaserum. Well, actually, I suggested veritaserum as a comparison because he couldn't remember the name." Robin shrugged and Professor Snape rolled his eyes theatrically, but Robin got the impression that it wasn't directed at her as much as at Morgan.

"Did he say which spell?"

"He did, but…" Robin bit her bottom lip for a second, reminding herself that he had indeed seen her panic before and there was no reason to not tell him about another instance now. "He did say which spell, however I… was too busy not dying over anxiety to pick it up and remember what it's called exactly." The annoyance she had expected to see on his face didn't come, which pushed her to continue on. "But I remember that it's something that's not taught at Hogwarts. He doesn't want us to learn it, just… just demonstrate it himself for some reason. I believe it started with an I or an L… I'm sorry, sir, I honestly don't remember. I should have though, I know…"

Oddly enough, Snape's reaction still was none of annoyance, but he rather stared right past Robin, lost in thought. Had her information not been completely useless after all? Anyway, she almost felt calm now that she had opened up to him about the situation. At least she wasn't alone with it anymore; someone knew of her concerns and actually took them seriously. That was a huge step towards getting out of this entire thing relatively unharmed. Her heartbeat slowed down significantly, and she didn't feel sick anymore. Good… Now, that other jar also had-

"Miss Mitchell?"

"Huh?" Her eyes snapped back to her professor and her cheeks gained in colour once again. She really needed to stop zoning out whenever she was in his office… Snape however kindly ignored her flustering and went right on as if nothing had happened in the first place.

"Was what Professor Morgan mentioned by any chance titled 'legilimency'?"

"Yes!" She blurted right out, eyes widening a little in surprise that he had actually been able to make any use of her poor information. "Exactly that!" The look she received in return however made her wish she hadn't answered all that enthusiastically, as it sent a chill down her spine in an instant.

"Are you absolutely certain?"

"Yes, yes I am… Why? What kind of spell is that, professor? Why are you asking like that?" She asked in an almost insecure manner now, but didn't receive an answer as he got up and went to retrieve a book from one of the shelves in the far corner of the room. After flipping through the pages for a moment, he turned the open book around and handed it to Robin before moving to sit back down in his chair in silence.

Robin scanned the page to get the overall gist of it, and her eyes widened in sheer horror at every word she read. At last she placed the book on the desk between them and simply stared at Professor Snape in both shock and fear. Morgan wanted… and he really was forcing her to… no!

"That is why I'm asking like that." Snape sounded almost as displeased as Robin felt, even if he had no reason to in her eyes. She was glad that he shared the sentiment nonetheless.

"Can't… Is that… Is that even allowed?" Robin's voice was but a whisper, a plea almost to whoever would hear, to at least make this wrong.

"The use of veritaserum on students has… unfortunately been prohibited, however I'm not aware of any such rules regarding legilimency. As it seems, the ministry has as of yet turned a blind eye to it."

"And… and the headmaster?"

"Will hardly see a fault in a mere demonstration of the subject. He has always been quite… liberal."

Robin's face fell even more, and she stared down at the words on the page in front of her as they began swimming together slowly. Then however she frowned at a different issue. "Professor… It may be completely stupid of me to say, but… this spell does not sound like anything I know about veritaserum. I mean, sure, it both reveals the truth in a way, but if I understand correctly, this… is more than just a means to finding out the truth. It's a hellfire being compared to a match. Which leads me to believe that –and I do apologize for being so direct about this– Professor Morgan either has no idea about this spell, even though it falls into his supposed area of expertise, or he doesn't know a thing about even the most basic basics of potions."

"I'm led to believe that he isn't proficient in either." A small pause, and Robin managed a half smile at his fairly direct insult before he continued speaking. "And you are right, Miss Mitchell, legilimency has fairly little to do with veritaserum, or more precisely, nothing at all. Which is why I will not give you the instructions for the antidote."

While his words definitely made sense, Robin also felt her heart sinking and squeezing together painfully. It had been her only chance… or had it? Another idea sprung to her mind suddenly, and even though she knew that it was extremely inappropriate and straight out wrong, it was an idea born from desperation. "What if I poison him?"

Snape's expression did show a small but honest reaction upon her words, a mixture of astonishment and a hint of being impressed, but more words fell off Robin's lips before he could shut her up. "Maybe draught of living death, so that he doesn't show up to class until I graduate, or forgetfulness potion to make him forget that he ever asked me to do this, forced me to do this even, or a hate potion so he shows his TRUE self in front of the entire school, or-"

"That's quite enough, Miss Mitchell." He interrupted her with a scolding tone, and Robin sobered from her rant in but a second. Oh no… had she really just said all of that? Out loud?? To Professor Snape??? As he continued, his voice took on a more neutral tone again, but his eyes conveyed the same graveness nonetheless. "I'm giving five points to Slytherin, for your remarkable knowledge of admittedly rather suitable positions for the occasion. And I am giving you detention, for suggesting to poison a teacher."

"What?!"

"Come to my office first thing after breakfast tomorrow morning. You will be here the entire day, so don't expect to be indulging in any other… activities tomorrow."

"Tomorrow is Sunday." Robin frowned at him, and felt a little betrayed after all. She had a serious problem at hand and he was giving her detention?! However justified it was, for her impulsive blurt of a desperation born thoughts, she had hoped for a little more understanding at least. Also, there was no detention on Sundays. Usually.

"I'm well aware." He replied to her surprise, giving her another of those looks that said more than his words did. Only that this time Robin had no idea what exactly it was that it said. But she didn't question him, as much as she wanted to, for he wouldn't give a reply anyway. When Professor Snape demanded something to be done, it would be. That's just how things were, and Robin found herself admiring him for it even. He wore an armor of dangerous intensity for his daily robes, and it suited him better than anyone else.

"I'll be here, sir." She finally replied in a quiet voice, and her eyes went back to the book on the desk. Would he at least let her borrow it until Monday, so that she could prepare for what was coming her way?

As if he was reading her mind now indeed, he gave an answer to her internal question. "The book won't help you, Miss Mitchell, nor will any potion. I suggest you spend the night resting instead of pondering over either option."

"How did you know I would?" Robin asked with a half amused and half embarrassed huff. Did he actually read her mind? He probably did, and yet she had the sudden feeling that detention with Professor Snape wouldn't be all that horrible. Not for her, at least.

"Because I would. Given your point of view on this issue, it is the most sensible thing to do." He replied with a risen eyebrow and a pointed look. "However from my point of view, I strongly advise you to rest. You will fare better with energy rather than pointless knowledge in tomorrow's… detention."

Robin frowned at his cryptic statement, but he seemed rather unwilling to say any more on the issue and thus Robin took a deep breath before she went to reply in his trademark neutrality. "Very well. No books for me tonight, I'm going straight to bed. Would that be all, sir?"

"Careful, Mitchell. You wouldn't want to risk detention over your wit."

"I thought I already have detention, sir."

"Get. Out." He drawled in a low tone, and yet the not-smirk tugging on his lips didn't escape Robin's notice as she rose to her feet and walked to the door.

Somehow she felt better than she knew she should in the light of getting detention, leave alone what would be happening on Monday. But here she was, having to hide her smirk as she turned around to Snape once again. "Goodnight, professor. I'll be on time."

"You better be." He mused with another gaze louder than words. "Tomorrow."

As Robin closed the door behind herself and stepped into the dark hallway, turning into the direction of her dormitory, she allowed a small smile to grace her lips at last. Things still weren't exactly working out in her favor, but after talking to the quite possibly darkest person she had ever known, the world seemed an odd lot brighter nonetheless.

______________________________

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[dreamcatcherfication]

Three’s a Crowd

I hope this fic isn’t absolute trash after the short break from writing I took. In the span of three days I completely forgot how to write and it shows.

But anyway, hello everyone! Anon requested Jane getting jealous because of Aragon being maternal towards Kat, and I loved that prompt. I’m not sure I did it justice, but we’re certainly trying. I really hope this fic is in any sense coherent. Sorry for any spelling/grammatical errors, I forgot how to write and my english is not good now. 

And also - I DO NOT CONDONE ANY OF THIS BEHAVIOR! A lot of what happens in this fic includes toxic mindsets and sometimes toxic behavior, and I do not support that in any way. I wanted to do my best to represent how toxic mindsets can affect a person, and how hard it can be to get out of them. That’s why Jane might seem a little OOC, but I did my best to balance everything out.

Writing Masterpost

If you want to send a request or a prompt, my inbox is always open! I publish a story at 8:00 AM PST everyday, so I’m always in need of new ideas. If you want to be tagged in my works, just let me know and I’ll be sure to tag you!

Prompts | More Prompts | The Trifecta of Prompts | Original Prompts

Trigger Warnings: Toxic behavior, toxic mindsets

Jane Seymour didn’t like being busy. Of course she liked to have things to do so she wasn’t wasting time, but being overburdened with work stressed her out far more than she liked. For the past week Jane had been overwhelmed with learning new choreography for the show, and the costume changes, as well as some of her lines being workshopped. It took all of her attention, and Jane started to notice how much less time she was spending with the queens.

There was one particular change in dynamics that Jane was starting to notice. Ever since the queens had grown comfortable with each other, Kat and Jane were almost always by each other’s side. It made sense, with Jane longing for someone to act maternal towards, and Kat lacking any strong maternal figure in her life. The two of them clicked, forming a bond that they both so desperately needed. 

But now, Kat was hardly ever around Jane. She wasn’t avoiding Jane, that much was clear, but the teen always seemed busy with someone else. Namely, Catherine of Aragon. It irked Jane to see the two of them so happy together. Internally, she kept telling herself she held no ill will towards Catherine, but she couldn’t help the small seed of rage that festered in her heart every time she saw the two queens together.

Just yesterday, Jane had asked Kat if she wanted to read together. “Sorry Jane, I’m going to the movies with Aragon. She got us these great seats and it’s one of those new, high tech theatres. She’s so cool,” Kat had gushed on.

Jane had to keep repeating that Aragon wasn’t being mean and was perfectly capable and welcome to spend time with Kat. However, in the back of Jane’s mind, she kept thinking Catherine unfit to spend time with Kat. “It’s a toxic mindset,” Jane kept telling herself, trying to push it away.

She started out small, doing little things to regain Kat’s attention. Late at night, Jane had gone to the store to buy a giant box of guylian’s chocolates, Kat’s favorite. The next morning, she left them on the kitchen counter with the note, For Kat, the ten amongst these threes. From Jane.

When Kat walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, Jane held her breath in anticipation. Kat’s eyes drifted over to the chocolates as she frowned in confusion. She made her way over to the box and read the note. Eyes lighting up, Kat turned to Jane with an open mouth. “For me?” she gasped.

Nodding her head, Jane tried to conceal the smile growing on her lips. “Just for you Kat.”

“Oh thank you so much!” Kat hugged Jane tightly to her chest. “Can I have some now?”

Pretending to look around like she was keeping a secret, Jane put a finger to her lips. “Only if you don’t tell the others.”

Kat laughed and waved Jane off. “As if. These are all mine. Thank you Jane, I love you!”

For the first time in a week, Jane’s heart unclenched and she relaxed. Kat still loved her, that was good. That was very good.

The next day, Jane woke up bright and early so that she could be ready to greet Kat when she came down for breakfast. Behold her surprise when Kat was already up and about, fully dressed and wide awake. “Kat, why are you up so early?” Jane asked, still fighting back slight drowsiness. “It’s only 6:30.”

Pulling on a jacket, Kat shrugged. “Aragon’s taking me to this moving carnival that’s set up downtown. She heard about it through Maria and she wanted to take me.”

Like she heard her name, Aragon appeared from the kitchen. She had paper bags filled with food that she was packing into a travel bag. “That’s right, Kat,” she rubbed the girl’s shoulder. “Maria and the other ladies went yesterday and they loved it, so I thought I’d take Kat out for the day.”

“Oh,” Jane’s heart broke a little bit. “That’s nice.”

Aragon flashed her a grin and led Kat to the door. “We’ll be back for dinner Jane, don’t worry.”

Kat waved as they left the room. “Yeah, we’ll tell you all about it!”

The door shut on Jane, her hand half raised in a pitiful goodbye wave. “Bye,” she whispered, her shoulders slouching. She should’ve known it wouldn’t last. Kat wasn’t bound to her, she had her own relationships. That didn’t mean it hurt any less to see her bounding off with Aragon. Was she being replaced? Jane questioned. Had Kat found someone better when Jane wasn’t around and realized she didn’t want her?

Sensibility told Jane it was only insecurity, but she still couldn’t shake it off. If Kat only wanted to spend time with Aragon, how would Jane cope? Would she lose the bond she so desperately tried to build with Kat in the first place?

Setting her face, Jane vowed that she wouldn’t let Aragon destroy her and Kat’s bond. They had something none of the other queens had, and Jane wasn’t about to let that go. The battle was on.

“Hey, Kat,” Jane approached the girl a couple days later. 

The teen was on her phone, scrolling through pictures she and Aragon had taken at the carnival. “Hmm?” Kat glanced up, her face brightening when she saw Jane. “Hi Jane.” Before Jane could start talking, Kat cut her off and shoved the phone in her face. “Look at this video I took from the carnival. This guy eats fire and then breaths it out. Isn’t it cool,” she explained.

Watching the video silently, Jane wasn’t paying attention to the guy eating fire. She was listening to the faint dialogue between Kat and Aragon from behind the camera. “How does he do that?” she heard Kat ask.

“A magician never reveals his secrets,” Aragon replied lightly, “and it’s more fun to watch and be amazed.”

Judging by Kat’s gasp, she had agreed. “It would be so cool to be able to do that.”

The camera shook slightly as Aragon came into frame, her eyes twinkling. “Don’t go hurting yourself trying to swallow fire, Kitty, this guy’s a professional.”

Kat’s pout was practically visible through her voice. “Do you really think I would hurt myself trying to eat fire?”

Shrugging goodnaturedly, Aragon leaned back out of frame. “I think you listen to your cousin too much sometimes. I’m not saying that I don’t trust you, but I am saying it’s not unlike you and Anne to try and eat fire because it looks cool.”

The video ended along with Jane’s good mood. How could Kat be so enraptured by Aragon? She and Jane had those conversations millions of times, why would she be having it with Aragon now? “Forget about that,” Jane tried to cover her annoyance with giddiness, “Because I’ve got something better planned.”

Raising her eyebrow in interest, Kat leaned forward. “What could be better than someone eating fire?”

“I dunno…” Jane teased Kat, “maybe the private animal shelter will suffice?”

Practically jumping to her feet, Kat dropped her phone, completely forgetting about the video. “No way! But you have to make appointments with them, Anna and I have been trying for months, how -”

Jane cut her off. “I pulled a couple strings, don’t worry about it. I know how much you wanted to see them, so it’s all worth it.”

“When do we get to go?” Kat prodded, bouncing on her feet.

Jane’s heart sped up when she saw the pure happiness in Kat’s eyes. “As soon as you’re ready.”

The animal shelter itself was huge, although there weren’t many people throughout. It was a private shelter and the owners required a considerable ‘donation’ for patrons to be allowed to come play with the animals even if they weren’t interested in buying. It was a lot of money Jane was required to pay, but she would do it a thousand times over in order to keep Kat happy.

Kat was fawning over the dogs as Jane stood behind her. There was a small, fluffy white dog that kept jumping into Kat’s lap and attacking her with its tongue. A bunch of other dogs swarmed her feet, causing Kat to giggle. Restraining herself from sneezing, Jane couldn’t help the swell of accomplishment in her chest. Kat loved it, and that’s what mattered.

 The fur that was gathering around Jane irritated her skin, turning it red, but she ignored her discomfort. Jane didn’t care about her allergy to dogs and to fur, and she would continue to hide it from Kat. The teen was so happy with Jane, she wouldn’t ruin it. “Jane,” Kat called her attention. “Isn’t she so cute,” Kat held up the white dog to Jane, prompting her to pet it. Carefully stroking the dog’s fur, Jane prayed that a sneezing fit wouldn’t overcome her.

“She’s lovely, dear,” Jane agreed, stepping away from the dog as soon as Kat was satisfied.

Setting the dog down, Kat pulled Jane into a hug. Melting into the teen’s embrace, Jane couldn’t help a sigh of relief. This was all she wanted. “Thank you Jane,” Kat murmured. “I love you.”

That’s all Jane needed to hear, once again. The only thing she wanted out of any of this. So Jane contented herself to watch as Kat sat back on the ground and returned her attention to the dogs.

By now, Jane was sure she had won. How could Aragon compete when Jane had taken Kat to an exclusive animal shelter to play with the dogs she loved so much? At this rate, all of Jane’s worries would be for naught and Kat would always love her. All of this would fade into a little bubble in the past and things would be back how they should be.

That was until Jane heard talking coming from Kat’s room. Immediately standing up, Jane went to investigate. Chances were it was only Anne talking with her cousin, but Jane still had to know if there was something she was missing. Opening Kat’s door, Jane carefully peeked in to see what was going on.

In the center of the room stood Aragon, a small crate of stuffed animals in her hands. Kat was standing in front of her, sorting through the stuffed animals with wide eyes. “There’s so many,” Kat glanced up at Aragon, “how much did this cost?”

“Money’s not important. You were telling me about how much you loved the dogs at the shelter Jane took you to, so I knew you’d like these too. Think of it as a way to have them with you all the time.” Aragon spoke softly, her hand carefully brushing some hair away from Kat’s face. 

A pit grew in Jane’s stomach. That was something she did with Kat. Not something Aragon did, something Jane did. It was her special thing, why -

Jane had to cut herself off. She kept berating herself internally for getting so caught up with this. All the queens were close, it wasn’t against any rules for Aragon to care for Kat. Aragon wasn’t a bad person, Jane knew that. But she kept wanting to believe that she was better than Aragon, and that she should be the one giving Kat gifts. This… this wasn’t the status quo.

Tuning back in, Jane watched as Kat took the crate from Aragon’s arms and beamed as wide as her face would allow. “I love them Catherine, I love you.”

And that was the last straw for Jane.

The next day, Jane had a surprise for Kat. If this didn’t win her over for good, she didn’t know what would. Aragon and Kat had gone out together for lunch, and the other queens were off doing who-knows-what. Jane was prepared, and she would wait in front of the door for as long as it took for Kat to show up.

Silently, Jane stared at the door. She knew she shouldn’t be doing this, she knew it was wrong. But knowing you have a problem and being able to fix it are two different things. The only way she knew to get rid of this deep ache in her chest was to win. To win Kat’s affection, to win her attention, and to win her love. This girl was like her daughter, and she wasn’t going to let Aragon take that from her.

The door opened, bringing with it lively conversation. “Nando’s never fails,” Aragon laughed, herding Kat into the room. “But you shouldn’t order so much if you aren’t going to eat it.”

“Oh come on,” Kat rolled her eyes, “how else are we going to get leftovers for days? I’ve picked up on a life hack or two, you know.” Kat stopped speaking when she noticed Jane watching her. “Hey Jane,” she waved. Aragon and Kat stood in confusion at Jane’s still figure.

“Is everything alright?” Aragon was slightly put off by the other queen’s iciness.

“Yes, just fine,” Jane replied. “I have something for you Kat.” 

Warily, Kat approached Jane and sat down next to her. There was something clearly wrong with Jane, and Kat was quite aware of it. “What is it?” she asked.

Reaching under her legs, Jane pulled out a small cage. She opened it, and out popped the small white dog Kat had been playing with at the shelter. Kat and Aragon gasped, both surprised at the furry creature’s appearance. “Jane... I…” Kat was unsure what to say.

“I got her for you, I know how much you loved playing with her,” Jane encouraged Kat to take the dog. Nervously, Kat obliged, picking up the animal.

Aragon frowned and made her way over to Jane. “It’s a sweet gesture and all, but Jane, you know we don’t have any way to support a dog right? We’re going to have to return her.”

“Yeah, and as much as I love her, wasn’t she already adopted by another family?” Kat recalled.

Batting off the concern, Jane inched away from the dog, her skin already turning red. “Nothing a little payment couldn’t fix. Besides, you liked her, so it was worth it.”

Still, Aragon was unconvinced. “Jane, just because Kat likes the dog doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to buy it.”

Standing up, Jane snarled, “Just because Kat likes animals doesn’t mean you have to buy her a crate full of them.” She then recoiled, realizing what her voice sounded like. “I - I.”

“Stop it!” Kat set the dog down and stepped away from Jane and Aragon. “Why are you fighting?”

“We’re not fighting,” Aragon assured Kat, taking a step towards her.

Scoffing, Kat moved away from them. “Maybe it doesn’t seem like it, but I’ve noticed. As soon as one of you does something nice, the other has to one up them. I don’t need all these gifts.”

“But you want them,” Jane added hopefully.

Shaking her head, Kat crossed her arms. “I want to spend time with you. Both of you. Together, if that’s even possible. You two have been at odds for the past week and I’m sick of it. I’ve tried to ignore it and enjoy the good things, but I can’t anymore. Why is it so hard to accept that I want to spend time with both of you?”

“Because I was here first?” Jane offered. “You’ve always wanted to spend time with me, Kat.”

Aragon tried to put herself in front of Jane. “Because I’m here when she isn't. Why keep going back to Jane when I’m always here for you.”

Biting her lip, Kat couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Do you two even listen to yourselves? This is so stupid. I don’t want you fighting over me.” Moving to round the couch and make a clean getaway to the stairs, Kat shot the two of them a disappointed glare. “I can’t spend time with either of you, not like this.”

“Kat!” Jane called her before the girl could disappear. “Aren’t you supposed to say you love me?” It was something she had become so used to hearing Kat say to her at the end of every conversation.

Shaking her head once more, Kat turned away. “I’m not sure I can say that truthfully right now.” Then she was gone, the closing over her bedroom door echoing throughout the house a moment later.

Jane turned to Aragon and they both glared at each other. “You’ve been doing it too, huh,” Jane broached, her voice defensive.

“I’ve only been trying to make sure she knows I care about her,” Aragon argued, crossing her arms.

“No,” Jane accused, “You’ve been using her to satisfy your own need to be a mother.”

“Well you’ve been doing it for longer than I have.”

Clicking her tongue, Jane sat down on the couch next to the dog. “Maybe I have. But I can’t stop. It’s the best feeling in the world, like a - like a -”

“Like a drug,” Aragon filled in. “I know.” She gave up and sat next to Jane. “You know what it’s like when Kat smiles at you better than anyone. And once she started looking at me that way…”

“You couldn’t let it go,” Jane added on. “I know,” she swallowed, “I know you aren’t a bad influence. I’m sorry I’ve been treating you like one. I don’t know how to get used to Kat seeing someone else the same way she sees me. Kat’s like my daughter.”

Aragon nodded, leaving the two queens in silence. “It might be a little weird at first,” Aragon broke the quiet air, “But we could try, maybe, spending time with Kat together? Like she said, it doesn’t have to be one or the other.”

Some defiant part of Jane still wanted to resist. She wanted to be the only one, she wanted things to be the way they were before Aragon entered the picture. But for once, Jane took a step towards fixing her mindset. “Let’s do it. If it’ll make things better, then let’s do it.”

In a moment of awkwardness, the two queens stared at each other, unsure of what to do next. Aragon stuck out her hand, hoping for Jane to seal the deal. Jane took the hand and the two of them shook on their agreement. 

---------------------------------------------

Tag List:

@radcowboyalmondtree @boleynhowards @annabanana2401 @babeebobo @dont-lose-your-queerhead @everything-insanity @mindless-pidgeon @i-wanna-dance-and-sing-six @thedemidisaster @its-totes-gods-will @thatbolxyngirl @thenameisnoone @sixqueendom

[artificialqueens]

Wasting the Time We've Got (Methydoll) - Thorpe

A/N: Two fics in the span of one week? Who even am I anymore? Last time I gave you a vague angst. Now, this is an Angst with a capital A. I love Nicky and I love Crystal, so I made them suffer. I have no excuse for myself. Thank you to Mac and Freyja for being wonderful and amazing and agreeing to beta this story. I’m also sorry to everyone affected by the tea discourse. I’d love to find out what you’re thinking on @freykitten. Enjoy! xx

…

One Euro is 1.12 of an American Dollar, so Nicky greets the airport with a flair of superiority in her step, and people do fawn over her accent, but no one really cares. The States aren’t as great as television made it seem, but they are something new and entirely different, and it’s just two semesters abroad, so she lets herself be lured in. Gets excited.

She’s imagined she’d be partying in sororities, drinking from red plastic cups and playing beer pong, or spending 12 hours in a car on a cross-country road trip to see the biggest rocking chair in the world.

She isn’t.

Her whole life consists of choosing literature classes and trying to figure out the difference between a freshman and a junior. And there’s also her roommate.

Crystal is sweet in a way that tells Nicky her parents are good people above anything else, and she seems to have a bigger problem wording her thoughts in English than Nicky has. She leaves long pauses and communicates in high pitched noises, and Nicky adores her for that. For that and many other things. There are so many reasons to adore Crystal that sometimes it feels like a default setting.

It’s month two and they’re sitting on Crystal’s bed on a Thursday evening. They have fairy lights on (Crystal’s doing) and a couple of candles lit (courtesy of Nicky), and it’s pouring rain on the outside (aided by no one in particular, as far as they know, but they make use of it by having a cozy night in). 

Nicky doesn’t catch the name. She’s pretty sure it’s because Crystal never said it, but, to be fair, she doesn’t catch many things. It’s hard to focus on what Crystal is saying when she can look at her instead. She’ll write it off as a language barrier later, but it’s not. It's… keen interest. That’s what it is. And Nicky totally isn’t thinking that it also could be translated as an infatuation, especially not when Crystal is telling her about the girl she likes.

She’s asking for advice on flirting with someone else, so Nicky’s luck really isn’t the best. The subject annoys her and she offers the simplest, most cliché things she knows from movies in hopes of ending the conversation. It doesn’t work. So she tells Crystal she’s not an expert, that she doesn’t know a thing about “American dating”. And that, it doesn’t make it better. It makes it worse. Because Crystal starts giggling and decides they have to catch up on everything. She takes her to the movies, she takes her bowling, she fails to teach Nicky to rollerskate, and later they share a strawberry shake in a diner. It’s too pink and doesn’t taste of strawberries, but Crystal’s eyes are sparkling and she blushes when she asks if Nicky is having fun. It’s nice. She is having fun. Too much fun. Too much fun to be having with a girl whose eyes reflect a whole galaxy of stars when Nicky asks her about the progress with her crush. She never tells her anything concrete, and Nicky is thankful for that, but Crystal looks down and plays with her fingers in a way that tells Nicky everything. It’s going well.

Then, it gets even worse. Crystal comes to her for another piece of advice. She’s so genuinely concerned, that Nicky forces down her jealousy and smiles. “Why don’t you do something she likes?”

It gets worse, because Crystal is so sweet and she’s so interested in Nicky’s life. Asks about her hobbies and life in Marseille, goes to jazz concerts with her, memorises the names of her friends and her favourite Dunkin’ Donut. She starts learning French from an app. Nicky jokes that when she comes to visit her in France, she won’t let her go. Will keep her there forever. It’s a joke, and Nicky is the only one who has any business knowing it’s not a joke at all. Crystal gets excited, too excited to speak, so she keeps nodding her head, making her curls and plastic beads on her necklace bounce. And Nicky knows Crystal is in on the joke, that she wouldn’t want to actually fly to another continent and stay with her forever, but she blushes like she would, and it hurts. 

.

She’s been there for a whole semester already. Someone brings it up when they’re out with their friends and none of them can believe it. Crystal throws herself over Nicky, wrapping her arms around her, and asks Nicky not to ever leave in a shy whisper. Nicky just holds her tighter. If only Crystal knew. But she doesn’t and she can’t and she won’t. Nicky plays it off as a joke, like it wasn’t twisting the knife already stuck in her heart, but lets herself tangle her fingers in Crystal’s hair and stroke the back of her head.  It could be enough, she tells herself.

Later, when they’re walking to their dorm, they’re holding hands, laughing. They’ve had a bit too much to drink, just enough not to care about zipping their jackets and to swear they can see twice as many stars as there actually are. They stop for a moment to count them, but they’re suddenly spinning, so Nicky holds Crystal and spins her too. They’re slowly swaying to the sound of the wind rustling the leaves. And then Nicky turns away from a would-be kiss. She shakes her head, puts a lot of effort into not crying. It’s not her. There’s someone else, who is not her, and Crystal would regret it when the alcohol wears off and the probability of Nicky’s chances significantly drops in percentage points. They keep dancing in silence and Nicky manages to make Crystal laugh again. Before they carry on walking, she presses a light kiss to Crystal’s temple. It’s not enough, and she doesn’t have it in her to lie to herself anymore.

.

“I think you need to get your shit together.”

Crystal’s been dancing around her crush for almost a whole year now, gushing about her, but not making any definite moves. Nicky probably wouldn’t survive seeing her with someone else, but she cares for Crystal’s happiness far more than for her own comfort, so she pushes her. 

“Was it out of line?” Nicky soothes, making up for her harsh words by putting two glasses of iced tea on the table in front of them. It’s a calculated move. Crystal’s been the one to introduce Nicky to the atrocity that instant tea is, and it always makes her happy when Nicky likes the things she shows her.

“No, but it doesn’t mean I wanted to hear it.” Nicky chuckles at that. Crystal doesn’t join her, but it doesn’t make her worry.

“Are you angry?” She still asks. Crystal doesn’t respond, just worries her lip between her teeth and does this thing with her fingers she always does when she’s nervous. Nicky scoots closer. “You can’t.”

“I can’t be angry?” Crystal finally looks at her and she doesn’t seem mad - Nicky isn’t sure she’d be capable of that, in all honesty.

“No. Not with me,” she simply says and rests her chin on Crystal’s shoulder. “It would kill me.” Crystal lets out a frustrated huff, and Nicky smirks. She knows it’s not fair, using that on sweet, kind Crystal, but she’s never had one bad intention towards the other girl, so she feels pardoned. And who knows? Maybe it’s the truth. Maybe it would kill her. “I’m sorry, my love.”

“No, you’re right. I’m going to talk to her.” Crystal turns to look at her and her eyes are clear like the sky, but stern. She says it like she’s promising something to Nicky, and her heart drops at that. 

So, it’s happening.

.

She’s here. They’re at a party and the girl Crystal might be in love with is here. Nicky chose her best dress, spent an hour and a half on her makeup, and teased and coiffed her hair until her blonde curls were like white gold and looked purposefully, adorably disheveled, which usually made people beg to take her home with them. Crystal can’t stop looking at her and she lets herself hope that maybe it’s working, that maybe Crystal will choose her over this strange girl that could never love Crystal as much as Nicky does.

But then they get surrounded by a crowd of people and Nicky can’t stop herself from scanning every girl talking to Crystal, wondering if it’s her. She looks at Crystal, searching for an exceptionally wide smile or a blush or a spark in her eyes. Crystal is covered in glitter, and Nicky swapped her highlighter for gunpowder, ashy and ready to go off. She winces when Crystal briefly lets go of her hand to hug a friend, and she feels her heart speed up at the thought that as soon as they run into her, Crystal will let go for good. She can’t be there, she can’t risk seeing it. So she lets go first and heads to the bar.

She doesn’t see Crystal for the rest of the night. It comes with an effort, because Nicky is always looking at Crystal, naturally gravitating to her. But she’s scared of what she’d see if she turned around, so she stays rooted to her place on a barstool, looking for a distraction. When she finally gets up, she finds Crystal alone in a booth and presses a fleeting kiss to her cheek. It tastes sickeningly sweet from grenadine in the drink the woman standing behind her bought her - or maybe just from the idea of leaving with someone else. But she can’t be here. So she places a kiss on Crystal’s cheek and wishes her luck, before walking out with her date and not looking back.

The next day she doesn’t need to ask how it went. Her heart breaks at how crushed Crystal looks when she comes back in the morning. Nicky curses herself for leaving her alone.

“Yeah,” Crystal chokes on a sob, “why couldn’t you just stay?”

She wants to burrow Crystal in her arms, hold her until the pain transfers onto her and Crystal smiles again, but she seems to reject all forms of comfort. She avoids hugs. She shuts off Nicky’s soothing. She shuts her off completely. And it hurts. Nicky’s aching to hold her and stroke her hair and tell her it’ll be better - she needs that for herself too. But since Crystal needs something else, she forces herself to go back to normal. To regular conversations and casual jokes. Pretends nothing’s happened and that Crystal didn’t get her heart broken, breaking Nicky’s in the process. They don’t mention it again. 

They don’t mention a lot of things. They get distant, and Nicky swallows the lump in her throat. Crystal asks for space and there’s nothing more important to her than Crystal, so she gives her space and time and silence. The first time it feels like the old times again is the night before Nicky’s flight home. Crystal climbs into Nicky’s bed and clings to her and they cry as the sky goes from navy blue to indigo to lavender.

.

She texts Crystal when she lands and then calls her when she gets home.

“It was you, you know? That whole time. It was you.”

“Crystal, I-”

“Yeah.”

“It was you, too.”

“Oh.”

For a while, neither of them says anything, and Nicky’s whole world falls apart with a single “oh”. She feels desperation claw at her throat because she’s 4,899 kilometres away and this is not happening. Except it is, because they’re 4,899 kilometres and 3,043 miles away from each other, and there’s nothing they can do about it now. She swallows once. Twice. Nothing changes. It’s still too late.

“Goodbye, Nicky.” Crystal ends the call, and Nicky stands there long after, her phone pressed to her ear, hoping to hear something else, to hear something that would make it all alright, because it can’t end like this, they can’t end like this, they-

The phone stays silent.