#but all the stuff that did happen affected me more than i thought
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andhumanslovedstories · 1 day ago
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I am not closely following the election results tonight, but I am occasionally seeing flashes of them out of the corner of my eye. The most obvious sign that things aren’t going well right now is the complete lack of celebrating on my dash. I know what tumblr looks like when it’s happy. Maybe I’ll go to bed tonight and see something different in the morning. I hope to god that is the case. But I’m thinking about the way I’m thinking right now, and I want to get some stuff down before the future kicks in.
In 2016 I was in a period of my life I affectionately refer to as as my fuckup era. I wasn’t even fucking up really. More just chilling out and falling short of the vague expectations I’d had about what I was supposed to be doing after I graduated college. While my friends from college rented apartments in the city and got jobs that didn’t supply you with a uniform shirt, I lived at home and worked as a barista at a fancy movie theater. That’s a real job you can do for almost five years. I didn’t have a clue what the back half of my twenties should look like. The only long term plan I had in my life was moving out west with my best friend, and my plan for finding a job once I was out there was basically to cross my fingers and hope.
Those days weren’t bad on the whole, but it felt like I was not actually living a life so much as I was goofing off in the waiting room. Sometimes that felt embarrassing, sometimes it felt fun, and sometimes it felt like I was completely pointless to the world.
On 2016’s Election Day, I went to bed early. After watching the votes come in, I needed the night to be over. I woke in a world that felt different than it had been the night before—not just in the actuality of who would be president but down to its foundations. I realized for the first time how much hope I’d had in human nature because now I didn’t feel it anymore. It’s almost silly when I think about it—so many horrible things had already happened that year, people had done horrible things as long as there have been people, and I didn’t think I was naive to that—but something clicked into place that morning.
It felt the same way my world had changed a year earlier, in 2015 during my last semester of college. My college victory lap felt like a prolonged downward spiral. Very early in the morning on a Monday, after pulling an all-nighter and overwhelmed by self-loathing that I could not just motivate myself to work on a paper that had been my only thought all weekend, I self-harmed for the first time in a way that was impossible to pretend it was anything else. Earlier that weekend, I’d tried staving off the urges drawing or writing on my arm, something that did (and does) usually work. I’d written this quote in silver sharpie on my forearm: “Good is not a thing you are. It's a thing you do.”
I picked that quote from the Ms. Marvel comics and liked the words so much, I thought that I wouldn’t be willing to purposefully mess it up by hurting myself there. Didn’t work. They just made me feel more ashamed of myself as I did it.
That was the worst I had ever felt. Then, on the Friday of that week, a friend of mine was senselessly, brutally murdered.
It doesn’t feel now like there was ever a time before her death. My memoir class is now where I wrote about her. My favorite professor is now the one who held me as I cried. My final thesis, the culmination of my history degree, never got finished and certainly never got polished. I turned it what I had and got an A minus. Sometimes I think of rereading that paper to see if that’s the grade it actually deserved. We hadn’t been the closest friends, but my name was still on the email admin sent to professors, listing students who might be emotionally affected by this tragic event. Grace’s murder hangs over every memory I have with her and everything she ever touched. It feels like its own type of obliteration to leave her reduced to her death.
Grace wanted to be a lawyer because she believed in justice and also liked arguing. She could be rude when she wasn’t interested in what you were saying. When you caught her attention, you felt like the most fascinating person in the room. She was so proud of being Jewish. I watched her become proud of being gay. She was so universally friendly that it took me a year to realize that she actually liked specifically me. She had a somewhat silly laugh and an astonishingly luminous smile.
I thought less of the world and the people in it because of how she died. Trump’s election in 2016 felt like that.
After he won, I left stasis. From November through December, I thought harder about my future than I ever had before. Who did I want to be? What did I most value? What did I think was worth protecting? What work wouldn’t kill me to do? At one point, in presumably a fit of madness, I thought, “what if I got into politics.” Epiphany eventually hit me. By the time of Trump’s inauguration, I was already enrolled at community college, getting my pre-reqs for nursing school.
Now it’s election night again, eight years later. I live on the west coast with my best friend, in a house that we bought together. I work as a nurse in a hospital in a city where there are homeless encampments off every highway and someone begging for change on every corner. Meanwhile, there’s Palestine. Meanwhile there’s Sudan. Meanwhile refugees drown in the sea and border patrol shoots jugs of water. Even hurricanes have human cruelty now.
I don’t think people are inherently good or the universe inherently kind. But I am very good at tricking myself into thinking it for a little while, and when I do, I can remember the a specific feeling from Friday of my senior year, from that morning in November— how fucking hard the disappointment hit me because I had expected people to be better than this. It makes me want to be better than that.
I believe, and hope that I always will, that we can make a better world. I don’t know what it looks like, but I think I will see it in my lifetime. Those of us who can believe such things owe a bit of that naïveté to the world—not to excuse atrocities or think them impossible but to believe that we can stop them at all. You have to have a couple people sprinkled around who are genuinely shocked when people do bad things. It’s not that the pessimists are wrong, but you need the occasional counterbalance. I want to be a reasonable cynic’s pleasant surprise.
Every shift, I interact with people at their lowest and worst. I see the direct pipeline from pain to anger to violence, and how fragile that pipeline can be. So many situations can be changed by things as small as a warm blanket or a kind word. Violence can be quite easy to avert. Crises can be quite simply to resolve. Even when I know that whatever I do that shift will not change the circumstances of a person’s life, I think that what I do that shift still matters.
I’m lying in bed, writing this post instead of looking at the news. I wonder how tonight will change me. Been thinking about what I’ll do if Trump wins. Been thinking about how whatever I think I need to do under Trump will still need to be done if Harris clutches out a victory. I guess this is a pessimist’s optimism: to a degree the election doesn’t matter. Good is not a thing you are. It is a thing you do. Our better world will always take a lot of work.
But please god please, why can’t it be just a little easier to do it?
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dteamhugs · 4 months ago
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I wanted to look for something in my twitter bookmarks and took a glimpse of my home page and that was enough to make me anxious, great
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running-in-the-dark · 10 months ago
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and it just occurred to me that when we move, I might try to find a new therapist. there might be one/a few right in the town we're moving to (I haven't checked), but we'll be really close to a city then. so I could get there regularly (maybe. it's very scary but maybe I can manage it). so. I should probably do that? maybe find someone who'll like.... do more than just accept that I've got social anxiety (because that's what I said when I first saw my previous therapist) and help me figure out the real problem.
#like I mean I. probably have autism or adhd yeah sure. like that's just. I'm just assuming that for now.#but. the thing that really affects me more than anything at this point#is the stupid fucking rules I have to follow because my brain makes them up and I don't have a choice#and the. well everything else that's probably all related to that.#but i don't wanna go there and be like hi I think i might have ocd#because I've been so ashamed of all of this stuff for 20+ years that the thought of talking about it with a person I have to look at and wh#will ask questions about it and then possibly say nope your brain's just really fucked up.#that thought is. so horrifying idk I don't think I could do that#but I struggle with it so much every day that. idk maybe I need to do it anyway? I didn't think I could talk about the social anxiety stuff#either and I did that for years in the end. and it helped a bit.#but idk maybe it's just. pointless? I don't know how to be any other way. I've never not lived like this? I don't remember ever not having#to follow these rules and feeling like I'm disgusting for having bad thoughts and having stupid routines that I have to follow because if I#don't a Bad Thing will happen. but that part got better so maybe it's not that serious anyway and I've just been imagining all of it#because my brain is bad and all of that.#maybe it's fine that I can't touch dirty things and that if I don't tell my husband to drive safe I have to think about him crashing the ca#and it being my fault all day and almost breaking several door handles because I have to check three times if the door is really locked and#it's never enough so it's usually 3x3 times or more. and just.#just. everything I like has to be good and pure and perfect and if it's not and I can't stop myself from liking it anyway I feel disgusting#and guilty and like I'm personally responsible for every bad thing in the world because I just can't be right.#and if I could the bad things would stop#I don't think. that's how people are supposed to think? right? I feel like if everyone spent most of their time thinking about this and#doing everything to make sure they follow these rules then. idk nothing would ever get done? it's just so hard?#but no it's probably just that I'm so bad at handling it and everything is always hard for everyone and no one complains because they're#better at being human.#idk man all I know is this is fucking exhausting and I can't do this for. however many years I'll be alive for. it's been long enough#I'm tired of it#and maybe I shouldn't be on here. maybe it's time to step away again for a while. so much of this messes with my head. I can't handle the#guilt I feel from every stupid post that I saw. oh that's something people argue about? great that's been added to the list of things that#have to feel bad about now.#doesn't matter how much I disagree on a rational level. I don't get to decide. if I know it exists it will bother me. and I can't do it
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timbrrwolfe · 2 months ago
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I haven't done any writing in an age but one of the things that's been stirring my creative juices lately has been developing characters in games I've been playing. Specifically Cyberpunk 2077 and Baldur's Gate 3.
2077 because the actual role play aspects within the game are pretty limited so if I want my characters to have any depth it has to spring forth from my brain, and BG3 because I can make SO many characters that it just gets me thinking. A lot.
That said, I have specifically limited myself from both making new characters or playing with friends in BG3 until I finish my first playthrough in full. Because if I don't I /will/ have 20 characters with like 5 hours of play time. I know what I'm about. But still, I do be putting together both builds and backstories for new characters when they come to mind. And that's also true of 2077. BG3 is simply better because you can actually play them differently outside of just how you do combat.
And for both of them I want to actually write stuff down to share with peeps but I haven't actually sat down to do it yet (and I don't love how rampantly "AI" is sucking up data for its purposes)(if it was /proper/ AI and not just repackaged machine learning glorified autocorrect it'd be a different conversation. Alas).
But probably wariness towards "AI" is not a good excuse not to create and share. Probably I need to start making time to actually write stuff down and even post it.
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florencemtrash · 5 months ago
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Take it Off - Azriel x Reader
Summary: You and Azriel have been friends for centuries... but what happens when he wakes up one day to find that things have changed? And how will he react when you start wearing Cassian's clothes?
Warnings: Angst. Jealous Azriel. Suggestiveness and then some (I don't know what warning to put, but it's spicier than my usual stuff is all I'll say). Cassian is an absolute menace... good for him
Author's note: Did I write this to procrastinate editing SSIB Ch 22 after watching Bridgerton S3?... yes
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Is this a fucking game to you?
Cassian grinned over the lip of his cup, raising his brow in a poorly disguised expression of confusion. He’d been playing the innocent fool all throughout breakfast, seemingly oblivious to the daggers Azriel was throwing his direction every time he made you laugh.
Internally, he and Nesta were both cackling. He threw his arm over the back of his meta’s chair, plucking the cream puff she held out for him, and tossing it into his mouth with a shit-eating grin. 
I’ve not the faintest idea what you’re talking about, Azriel. Although it hurts me deeply to see you so upset.
Upset was an understatement. Azriel was holding onto his glass of orange juice so tightly cracks were beginning to form beneath his fingertips. 
You elbowed Azriel in the ribs, brows furrowed as you pointed your slice of toast towards his hand. “Are you ok?” You whispered low and just for his ears. 
The molten anger in his eyes melted away, hazel eyes softening as he took in your concerned expression. You were the first and only one of his family members to watch him so intensely. You could unravel the meaning in every twitch of his jaw, every rhythmic tap of his fingers against his thigh, every flicker of his shadows. You knew when he was upset, when he was happy, and when he wanted to laugh but had trouble expressing it. The only thing you weren’t aware of when it came to Azriel was how unbelievably in love with you he was. 
But that was his own fault. 
You’d watched him fawn over Mor for centuries, watched as he practically crawled on hand and knees for any kernel of affection she was willing to throw his way. Then, when you thought he’d finally gotten over his feelings for her, he’d chased after Elain’s heels like a dog in heat. You didn’t even want to begin thinking about Gwyn and the way she’d trampled over his hopes with the simple phrase, “I love you as a friend, Azriel. Nothing more.” 
No. It was entirely his fault that you’d learned to bury your own feelings for him so deep they’d become background noise — as inconsequential and ever present as the sound of your own breathing. 
Still… you couldn’t help but notice the secrets swimming in his eyes, the hurt and longing there that you could only guess the origin of. Who’d hurt him this time? You wondered. 
“I’m fine.” Azriel whispered, his hands ghosting over your thighs before deciding against touching you there. 
You hummed, clearly unconvinced. You held your toast in between your teeth, tasting the raspberry jam explode on your tongue as you reached over and carefully peeled Azriel’s fingers off his injured glass. 
His heart stuttered at the sight of your lips as they closed around your thumb, licking away crumbs and jam from your fingertips. But then his gaze dropped to your chest and his stomach soured. 
As Madja’s apprentice, you’d acquired a special interest in botany — an interest that had all but shoved you into Feyre’s studio so you could learn the skills necessary to depict all manner of flora and fauna in your field journal. When you’d complained about finding paint and charcoal stains over your clothes, Cassian had jumped on the opportunity to give you his old shirts to use as painting smocks. He had to congratulate himself for the stroke of genius. After all, he and Nesta had been discussing plans on how to get Azriel to admit his feelings for months now. 
Azriel did not respond well to outright suggestions or bullying. If he told Azriel to pull his head out of his ass and ask you on a proper date, the Shadowsinger would only hunker down on his preconceptions that he was unloveable, and that you were far too good for him. If he revealed to Azriel that you’d secretly loved him for decades that would only make him feel even more embarrassment and shame. 
No.
  Jealousy worked far better when it came to Azriel.
You looked comfortable and happy in Cassian’s clothes — a fact that escaped no one’s notice. You had the sleeves rolled up past your elbows, the rows of buttons at your back haphazardly done without wings to accommodate. You’d worn that particular shirt a half dozen times now and replaced any scent of Cassian with your own. 
Still, you were wearing another male’s shirt… and it was starting to drive Azriel insane.
“I was going to get rid of these and thought you might like them for… painting.” Azriel shifted on his feet, holding out the neatly stacked pile of clothes for you. 
You were laying on your stomach in bed, colored pencils and textbooks splayed out around you, but quickly righted yourself and sifted through the piles he handed you.
You held one up for a better look. 
“Azriel, you were just wearing this last week.” It still smelled like him — the scent of the Illyrian mountains at night woven through the soft, cotton material. “I can’t take this. Or this. Or this!” 
“I have more just like them.” 
You huffed, fists balanced on your hips. 
Azriel was a simple male with ample space in his wardrobe. When he wasn’t in his Illyrian leathers he wore the same three outfits on rotation, all of them nearly identical. If there was anyone who shouldn’t be giving away clothes, it was Azriel. 
“I really appreciate it, Az, but I’m ok. I don’t need these. Cassian already gave me enough hand-me-downs to last two decades at least.” 
A muscle in Azriel’s jaw jumped out. “Well I’m glad for that.” He was practically seething. You noticed, as you always did, but you couldn’t imagine that you were the cause of his frustrations. 
“Are you sure you’re alright, Az? You’ve been acting strangely the past few days.” 
“It’s nothing.”
“I doubt that.” 
There were various things on his mind, chief among them you. So he took hold of the olive branch you’d extended him and laid down beside you, talking about everything and nothing at all. But one thing he avoided talking about at all costs was how the gentle scraping of your nails through his hair as he rested his head in your lap made him want to lock the door and never come out. 
He wanted to bury his face beneath your sundress and then tear it to pieces. He wanted to dive under the covers and leave an assortment of marks on your skin. To hold you so close that you began to smell like one another. 
You lay down beside him, leaning your head against his shoulder so he caught whiffs of your elderberry and lemon shampoo. 
“You know you can tell me anything, right? That’s what friends are for.” 
Right… friends. He was starting to hate that word. 
“Yes… I know.” 
How long do you think he’ll last?
Nesta felt Cassian’s soft laugh blow over the back of her neck as they crouched just behind the door of Feyre's painting studio.
Azriel had been undeniably irritable the last two weeks, his patience fraying like a linen skirt with the hem torn off. Cassian was still sporting a bruise on his cheek from this morning’s sparring session after one of his teasing remarks had hit a little too close to home. 
Not much longer. Look at him, Nes. He’s practically vibrating.
Nesta slapped her hand over her mouth, stifling her laughter. 
Azriel was restless, his wings kept opening and closing with agitation and the curve of his ears had long since turned a bright shade of pink. He’d had his shadows knock over a cup of ink earlier, sending its contents splattering over your shirt and staining the fabric beyond repair. But you’d only shrugged and said, “It’s my painting shirt. It’s meant to get dirty,” before going back to your canvas with a soft smile. The moment you’d turned your back to him, he’d silently cursed the ceiling. 
Stupid, stupid, stupid. He kicked himself, too focused on your continuing conversation to think that his meddling brother and sister-in-law might be watching. 
He hadn’t expected his emotions to take over so quickly, least of all with you. You’d been his best friend for over two hundred years. You were a staple in his life, more familiar to him than the childhood blanket he still had tucked away in his drawer. There was no reason why he should suddenly wake up one day and realize with a shock of surprise that he loved you and couldn’t imagine living in a world that didn’t have you in it. 
It had been such a silly moment as well. You’d been getting ready for Starfall, your hair done up and a flush of color spread over your cheeks and lips. He’d come to check in on you and lost his breath when he saw you sitting at the vanity, holding up earrings to your neck to see if they matched the satin of your deep blue gown. And then you’d politely asked him to lace up your dress and he’d nearly swallowed his tongue in surprise, forcing his hands to stop shaking as they brushed against your spine. Gods he’d wanted to throw himself off a balcony that night, if only because you’d be the one tasked with healing him. 
He wanted to throw himself off the balcony now. Let the ground swallow him whole so he wouldn’t have to make a fool of himself in front of you… again. 
I give it another week. Nesta declared.
Cassian smirked. I know my brother. He won’t last another three days.
In the end they were both wrong. 
It only took two days for Azriel to finally snap.
“Take it off.” 
You swiveled around in your chair, tongue pressing against your cheek as you wondered what gave Azriel the audacity to march into your private lesson with Feyre and make such an out-of-character demand. 
“What?” You asked, furrowing your brows. 
Azriel stood as still as an obsidian statue in the doorway. His wings loomed over his shoulders, talons reaching towards the ceiling tense and twitching. 
“Take. It. Off,” he repeated through gritted teeth. He clutched a neatly folded shirt in his hands, knuckles pale and bloodless from the tight grip. You’d been wearing Cassian’s clothes almost every day this past week and he couldn’t stand it anymore. He couldn’t stand sitting beside you at the dinner table or in the library, the laughter in his throat dying when he caught Cassian’s scent drifting off your skin. 
It was maddening the way you didn’t think anything of it. 
Yes, Cassian was practically a brother to you, and yes, he was a mated male but… fuck it bothered Azriel so much to think of anyone else laying claim to you. To think that one day you might actually walk around wearing another male’s clothes because you loved them. To think that that male wouldn’t be him. 
He’d tried to bring up the topic with you in his own round-about way, but you’d shrugged off all his suggestions of wearing something — anything — else. 
“If you want painting clothes, why don’t we go shopping this afternoon? I’m sure Feyre has recommendations. Or we could just walk around the Rainbow until something catches your eye.” 
“I’m not a full time artist, and it seems silly to spend money on clothes you intend to ruin.” 
“Why don’t you ask Feyre or Mor for hand-me-downs then? They’ll fit you better and the sleeves won’t drag so much.” 
“I like it when my clothes are loose.” 
Feyre glanced between the two of you, namely the flare of Azriel’s nostrils and the way he ground his teeth so intently you worried he’d crack a tooth. 
“I’m… going to leave now.”
“Wait—Feyre!” 
The High Lady kissed your cheek, a knowing look in her eyes, before scurrying out the door. 
Don’t scowl so much, Az, you’re making her nervous. She chirped to the Shadowsinger before slipping down the hallway and disappearing. 
She made it all of ten feet down the hall before crowing, “It’s happening!” to the others. 
It’s happening?! Mor leapt out from her bedroom, a robe hastily tied around her waist and soap suds clinging to her hair. “Fey—” she hissed.
Feyre pressed a finger up to her lips, cutting her off. They’re in the art studio now. 
I fucking KNEW IT! Mor squealed in delight, stomping her feet soundlessly into the floorboards as she allowed Feyre to grab her wrist and drag her forward. 
I won the bet, Nes.
You didn’t win, we both lost!
Semantics. 
Why you bas—
Feyre, Rhys, Mor, Cassian, and Nesta streamed into the foyer. There was an air vent here that led directly to the art studio two floors above them and painted over so expertly it may as well have been part of the molding. The sounds traveling through it were muffled by echos and distance, but nothing that fae hearing and magic couldn’t overcome. 
“That’s it!” The chair you’d been sitting in skittered back with a squeak. “What is your problem, Azriel? You’ve been agitated for weeks now. You won’t tell me, or any of the others, what’s wrong and every time Cassian so much as glances in your direction you look like you want to tear his throat out!” 
Azriel said nothing as you stomped forward and dragged him into the room, slamming the door shut behind him. Whiskey eyes flickered down to your hand — the hand you currently had closed around his wrist — and he shuddered. 
You didn’t even want to begin to unpack the hidden meaning of that response as you brought him to the center of the room and let go. 
He dropped the shirt on the nearby desk, hands lowering to the hem of your painting smock with a grimace. 
“I need you to take this off.” He repeated with a frown.
“What kind of person marches into a room and demands that their friend take off their shirt?” 
He flinched at that word — friend.
“Az!” Your voice snapped him out of his thoughts, and his anger. “What is going on with you?!” 
“It’s nothing.” He growled out, but he tugged at the hem like its very existence was a personal offense.
“Clearly it’s not nothing.”
“Can you just take off your shirt and put this one on?”
You shoved him away. It wasn’t even like he was asking you to get naked, you both knew you were wearing something beneath this, but it was the way he was asking that grated on your nerves — like what he was requesting was perfectly normal and you were the ridiculous one for not listening.
“No.” You folded your arms over your chest with a huff. You were just being stubborn now, but you didn’t care. 
His eyes turned tortured and he clasped his hands together in front of you. “Please?” He begged.
“No! Not until you tell me what’s going on and why you’re acting this way!” 
“I don’t want to have this discussion while you’re standing there smelling like another male!”
That was… not what you were expecting.
You gaped at him, unsure whether to howl with laughter, or slap him across the face. 
“That’s what this is about? You’re upset because I’m wearing Cassian’s clothes?” You gagged at the mere thought of what Azriel was insinuating. 
“Well that was a little hurtful.” Cassian mumbled. 
Mor slapped the back of his head. “Shhhhh. I’m trying to listen.”
Azriel shifted on his feet, color beginning to spread high on his cheekbones. “It’s not about Cassian… not really…”
You tapped your foot on the ground, waiting for him to continue. Azriel felt naked. Stripped back like one of your insect specimens lit up beneath a microscope. Your eyes raked over his every movement. Even his shadows, usually so attention-seeking, cowered behind their master’s back whispering to one another about how Azriel might dig himself out of his own grave. 
“Well?” You snapped. 
Azriel shrank back, “I… I like you, Y/n.” 
You rolled your eyes, “I know, that’s why we’re friends. I like you too.”
“No. Not… not like that.” Azriel groaned, burying his face in his hands. “Oh I’m fucking this up so badly it’s not even funny anymore.” 
“I don’t even know what it is you’re fucking up. I—”
“I love you, ok?” He said in a burst of energy.  “I love you and not in the way that friends are meant to love one another and Cassian’s an idiot and I’m a jealous bastard and I… I…” 
You stared back dumbly. “You can’t mean that.” 
Azriel’s face fell. “And why not?”
“Because I have been here for decades, centuries,” you jabbed his chest with a finger, “And you never once looked at me that way. Never once considered me as anything more than a friend. You’re upset because I’ve been wearing Cassian’s clothes the last few weeks? Well guess what, Az, I’ve watched you walk in and out of those doors for years with your poorly concealed hickies and that lovesick look on your face, and I never made it your problem or anyone else’s.” 
“Well I want you to!” He shouted. It was the first and only time you could remember him raising his voice. “I want you to make it my problem, Y/n. I want you to tell me that you love me and I want you to shout at me for all the stupid decisions I’ve made because I’m yours. I’m yours to shout at. I’m yours to get angry with. I’m yours to love if you’ll still have me and…” Azriel gasped for breath, chest heaving as he came face to face with the fact that he’d just said those words out loud. Those words that he’d kept close to his chest with the rest of his secrets. Those words that proved just how completely at your mercy he was. 
Please say you’ll still have me. His eyes begged. 
When you didn’t move or say anything, he felt a piece of his heart wither away. He lowered his eyes, suddenly interested in a speckle of red paint that had smeared under his boot, “Forgive me. I’m… I’m sorry I didn’t… I shouldn’t have—” 
“You’re a fucking idiot, Azriel.” You muttered breathlessly. 
Then you flung yourself into his arms and crashed your lips into his. 
Kissing Azriel was better than you could have ever imagined. The fantasies you’d constructed late in the night when you were lonely blew apart like paper houses, crumbling in the face of reality. His mouth fumbled for purchase against your lips before slotting into place with a strangled moan. He lifted you in the air and you instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist, tightening them until you could feel him harden between your legs. 
His tongue flitted over your lips tasting like oranges and magic. 
But his hands. 
His hands. 
You couldn’t get enough of them as they slid up and down your back, squeezing and pressing into your skin until he’d memorized the curve of your spine. You wove your fingers in his hair, tilting his head so you could stare into his hazel eyes before diving in for another taste. 
He walked you back to the desk, shadows flinging the tins of charcoal and pastel pencils off the furniture so you could perch there instead. Then he surged forward, pressing his hips into the space between your legs so he could feel the heat that gathered there. It sent shivers down his spine.
This… this was everything he’d ever wanted. You were everything he’d ever wanted. Not some unapproachable female he admired from afar but hardly knew, but someone who’d seen every inch of his soul and never flinched. Someone who’d nestled into the hidden corners of his heart and grown there like a willow tree. 
You moved your hands over the wide expanse of his back, digging your nails in to feel every twitch of muscle, every shudder, as he latched onto the side of your neck and slid his tongue over the sensitive skin there. 
He smelled like mountain rain. Like fresh wind and petrichor and sea salt. 
You smelled like lemons and safety. Like maple leaves and lavender and… Cassian.
Because you were still wearing his gods-damned shirt. 
Azriel felt his blood boil, and an instinctual rage took over as he growled low in his throat, bunched the fabric of Cassian’s shirt in his hands, and tore it in two.
You pulled away from him at the sound of ripping fabric, but kept your grip on his solid shoulders as air blew across your skin.
Azriel’s pupils were blown wide, his lips pink and raw as he leaned his forehead against yours in a daze. You continued to breathe each other’s air like you were drowning. He seemed just as in disbelief as you, if not more. 
“Azriel…” You whispered, chest heaving. 
He looked at you with half-lidded eyes full of heat. “... yes, Y/n?” He asked breathlessly.
“I think you ripped through my dress… and my bra as well…” 
“Oh…” He fingered the ruined fabric that fell loose around your shoulders and realized that your back was indeed on full display. The straps of your bra slipped down and the mangled buttons of your sundress clung to their loops by weak threads. “Oh…oh gods.” 
One hand flew up to your chest to keep the fabric in place while the other slapped over your mouth, suffocating the laughter that threatened to burst forth. 
Azriel’s ears and cheeks turned brighter than the sun as he slowly lowered you down to your feet, fumbling over apologies like he hadn’t been shoving his tongue down your throat mere seconds ago. 
“I’m so sorry—” 
“Azriel, it’s ok.” 
“No, I was being an ass and now I’ve ruined your dress and—” 
“You can buy me more.”
Azriel’s shoulder dropped. “I can?” “You can.” 
He shook his head very seriously. “Yes, yes you’re right, I—” Azriel had always been the beautiful one — the one that drew eyes when he walked into a room. The one that had females and males falling out of their seats for a proper look at his elegant features. But right now he looked so helpless, so flustered and unsure of himself that you finally lost it. 
Champagne bubble laughs slipped out of your mouth, light and airy, and sent a shock of warmth through Azriel’s chest. It was infectious the way the skin stretched over your cheeks. The light in your eyes couldn’t be contained no matter how hard you tried. 
He couldn’t help himself. 
He started laughing too. 
What began as one of his reserved chuckles grew into uncontrollable peals of laughter that echoed throughout the studio and had you clutching onto the desk for support. 
Azriel doubled over, one hand holding the stitch in his side together as you howled. 
“Oh gods. I can’t—” You hiccuped. “I-I-I can’t breathe.” 
Soon you were both kneeling on the ground, clutching each other’s arms for some semblance of stability. You gasped for breath, wiping away tears from the corners of your eyes. 
Azriel captured one of your hands, weaving his fingers through yours before bringing your wrist to his lips for a soft, reverent kiss. You thought you’d experienced enough emotions for today ranging from frustration to anger to a joy you couldn’t begin to put into words. But you were certain your heart could handle one more shift in the atmosphere. 
Wordlessly you tugged off Cassian’s shirt, dropping it to the side where shadows caught hold of the cursed fabric and quickly tossed it into the fireplace. The flames crackled with triumph, eating away at the shirt with a vengeance. 
“A little dramatic, don’t you think?” 
“We can agree to disagree.” Azriel murmured, his eyes growing dark and heavy. His gaze drifted down to the soft skin now exposed from your tattered dress, the thin straps clinging to your arms, the gentle swell of your breasts as you breathed heavily. 
His fingers danced over the straps in silent permission, eyes searching yours for any hint of hesitation. But you were open and wanting and desperate for his touch. You crawled into his lap and a faint nod was all he needed before the pale blue fabric of your dress fell down and bunched about your waist. The bra followed, and then you were sitting there naked from the waist up, feeling the heat grow between your bodies as Azriel looked at you with pure adoration in his eyes. 
“Am I dreaming, Y/n?” He whispered, rubbing circles into your hip bones. 
You smiled softly, “Have you dreamed of me before?”
“Yes. Many times.” He kissed your chest, slowly dragging his hands down your ribs as you shivered and fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, and then his belt buckle. “But we never got this far.” 
“Hmmmm, I think we could go a little further.” 
“NOT IN MY STUDIO!” Feyre’s voice echoed oddly through the room, sounding muffled and far away. 
Azriel’s wings flared out, hiding you from view as you yelped and pressed your chest against his. Your cheeks burned with embarrassment about being found in such a compromising position. But the door was closed! And so were the windows!
His shadows finally found the culprit in the air vent.
“Godsdamnit—HAVE YOU BEEN LISTENING THE ENTIRE TIME?!” Azriel shouted. 
A moment passed before Feyre answered, “... No,” in a much softer tone. 
“We missed part of the beginning,” Cassian chimed in. 
Azriel groaned, dropping his forehead against your shoulder as you were stunned into silence. He muttered something beneath his breath that sounded oddly similar to, “I swear I’m going to kill him one day.”
Azriel helped you to your feet and finally, you put on his shirt. 
“Are you happy now?” You teased, arms dropping to your sides. 
The corner of his lip twitched upwards. You looked… very good in his clothes with the sleeves rolled up and a sliver of your dress (now skirt) peeking out from beneath. 
He looked towards the vent, then wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close so he could whisper, “I would be happier if I saw my shirt and that dress of yours on the floor of my bedroom.” 
His hand slid up your skirt, squeezing the back of your thighs in a way that had you stiffening. 
All at once he was second-guessing himself. Maybe he’d taken things too far. Maybe the lust-filled haze had cleared and you didn’t want him anymore. 
You swallowed and wrapped your hand around his wrist, gently guiding his fingers to your core. You let him know just how much you wanted this. 
A roar of blood sounded in the Shadowsinger’s ears. 
“I think that sounds like a very good plan.” You murmured in agreement and his eyes turned black as night.
He stole another long kiss before scooping you into his arms. 
“Az, where are we going?” You giggled into the curve of his throat as he flew down the hallway and stairs. “We just passed your bedroom.” 
“We’re not going to my bedroom.”
“Well we missed my bedroom too.” 
He didn’t respond.
Azriel skidded to a stop at the top of the staircase, already well aware that his family had gathered at the bottom and were waiting to bombard him with questions. 
Azriel smirked at you, leaned down, and kissed your cheek. “When I take you to bed properly, it won’t be with our nosey family members in the house.” He ran his tongue across the line of your jaw all the way to your earlobe and whispered, “I want any noises you make to be for me, and me alone.” 
“You are certainly a man of poetry, Az.”
He smiled. “Only for you.” 
“Well, well, well if it isn’t the two love—” Shadows flew into his mouth, muffling his words. “HEH! Azz! Whazthf—”
“I’ll see you in a week.” He said to no one in particular, his shadows opening the door of the River House. 
“Where are you going?” Mor asked, her eyes zeroing in on the bright red mark blossoming on your neck. What the fuck? She mouthed at you, giving you two thumbs up as Azriel crossed the doorway with you in his arms.
“None of your business. I’ll see you in a week.” Then he looked down at you, eyes growing soft. “We’ll see you in a week,” he corrected himself. 
Your stomach bottomed out, heat flowing through your body as you heard him make such a declaration in front of... well everyone. You couldn't wait to see where he would take you and where he would take you.
"Ready?" Azriel asked, a sultry smile growing on his face.
"Ready."
You wrapped your arms around his neck, burying your face in the hollow of his throat as he took off into the air. 
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nanaslutt · 1 year ago
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so i just read like… ALL your gojo stuff.
now imagine… gojo not being able to hold back and wanting to breed you after you both try those aphrodisiac chocolates… ahem…
i am absolutely terrified of getting pregnant yet have the words most insufferable breeding kink, we exist
Contains: fem reader, aphrodisiacs, masturbation, no prep, spanking, rough sex, unprotected sex, breeding kink, multiple orgasms, SOOO much dirty talk, praise, so much cum.., whiped!gojo, established relationship
MDNI
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・°❀⋆.ೃ࿔
Gojo was talking soooo much shit when you sent him a link to some aphrodisiac chocolates you saw online. He would not stop dismissing that they didn’t actually work; saying none of that shit that advertised any kind of enhancement in sexual arousal ever did.
So of course you had to order the chocolates and really test it for yourselves, making a challenge out of it.
If the chocolates truly had an effect, gojo would do whatever you wanted, and if they didn’t? vice versa. Gojo was game, of course; because he didn’t think anything would happen.
“Bleh- they taste like shit too,” Satoru grimaced, chasing the horrible flavor with a strawberry soda.
“That’s probably because there’s something in them satoru…like the aphrodisiac…,” you shook you head, swallowing the bitter chocolate.
“Orrrr; crazy thought; it’s just some cheap chocolate marketed as aphrodisiacs to make a ton of money off of people like us.” he drawled, throwing his hands up in the air and waving them around when he spoke.
“I really thought you out of all people would find this kind of thing fun satoru.” you said, trying to push his buttons a bit.
“We’ll of course, chocolate and sex? I’m all over that,” he said making you laugh, “but me and suguru tried something like this for fun back in our student days, it was some kind of pill though,” his face twisted in discomfort as he spoke, “just ended up making us super sick tho, yaga got pissed, heh” he laughed, remembering the memory.
“Knowing you two it was probably some cheap boner pill you got in a sketchy bag at the convenience store.. so that might explain it.” you snorted,
He rubbed his big hand over the back of his neck, “yeah, there was like 5 other pills in the bag with it now that I think about it..” he said quietly, making you hunch over in a laugh.
The two of you went about your evening like normal, watching some comedy movie that was on and cuddling together on the sofa. When it ended you went off to change into something more comfortable as you started off to finished the laundry.
You haven’t felt anything extremely out of the ordinary yet; remembering that the package said it might take long for women to feel the affects; but gojo on the other hand was feeling mildly uncomfortable.
His face and neck were feeling warm, throughout the entire movie his big hand was placed on your upper thigh, like always. What was unusual though, was how his skin tingled when he placed it on yours, palms sweating more than usual; he just chalked it up to all the junk he had been eating throughout the day, probably upsetting his body.
When you moved back into the kitchen and started on the dishes the two of you had created in the sink, Gojo couldn’t help but hyper focus on the fat off your ass peeking out of your night shorts.
The way you moved your hips as some r&b music played quietly from the tv. He watched your muscles and tendons move together when you twisted your body around, watching your ankles cross; one behind the other; getting comfortable from where you stood.
Satoru was feeling hot all over now, a large hand coming down to grope himself over his pants when you bent over to put the dishes into the washer, poking out your clothed mound towards him, the fabric of your shorts squeezing your curves just right.
His jaw dropped slightly, breathing heavier as he got off on watching you do such a mundane task like the dishes.
You inserted the pod into the dishwasher, completely oblivious to satoru’s shenanigans as you stood up straight. You noticed when washing your hands that you were starting to feel a warmth washing over your body, and a sort of warm coil tightening in your tummy.
The lightbulb went off in your head when you realized it was probably the work of the chocolates. You quickly shut off the water, towel is hand as you whipped your head behind you to tell gojo what was happening to you; and to inform him that you were going to win this challenge.
Your motions were stopped short as you bumped straight into gojos chest, “Oh! Didn’t realize you were-“ Your words getting cut off when gojo grabbed the bottom of your face, bringing your lips to his, and kissing you hungrily.
Gojo used his other had to slide his arm around your body, pressing you hard into him, letting you feel his erection against your tummy.
He pushed his tongue into your mouth, swallowing your words that tried to excape, “Sa-mm- Satoru-“ you got out between kisses. Gojo shoved his knee between your legs, putting delicious pressure on your cunt as he kissed you like it was his last day on earth.
You had to grip his hair and pull his face off of you to speak, this didn’t really phase him as he targeted your neck instead, biting and sucking on the skin there, “Fuck- s-satoru slow down-“ you moaned when he sucked on a particularly sensitive spot.
“Cant, need you-“ he spoke in between his rushed love bites on your neck, moving his big hands to hold your hips as he made you rock your cunt back and forth along this thigh.
Your head was spinning a mild a minute, still trying to wrap your head around the current situation. You expected this to happen; being on the side of ‘pro aphrodisiacs and all; you just didn’t expect it to happen so soon, and for it to have such a strong effect on someone like Satoru.
“S-shit- those chocolates have you m-more worked up than me,” you tried to laugh, voice cut short by a moan when his knee nudged your clit at a particularly mouthwatering angle.
“Need to be inside you,” he ignored you, groaning against your pulse point, hot breath tickling your neck when he spoke.
Gojo was breathing so heavily, his cock feeling like it was about to rip a hole in his pants at how hard he was. “Take em off, now-“ he whimpered, referring to your bottoms as he started pulling them down your legs, panties following suit.
You helped him, gripping his hair and keeping his lips pressed against your neck while you kicked off your shorts off from around your ankles . His hands dropped down to remove his own sweats, too impatient to fully take them off as he pulled them down just enough for his cock to spring out, jerking himself off with one hand rapidly between you; hand holding your hip with his other.
“Let me put it in, please, need to be inside you now-“ he groaned, finally pulling back from your neck; and he looked absolutely wrecked.
This whole situation was giving you whiplash, but you felt bad for him. Satoru’s hands were shaking, face flushed completely crimson, and he was sweating and panting like he just ran a marathon.
He continued stroking his cock, eyes flirting between your pussy and your pretty lips while he waited for them to move, voicing your consent.
His cock was dripping so much pre it looked like he already came. Hard cock still dripping steadily onto his hand and fingers, making his strokes emit loud ‘plp’ sounds into the air.
“Yes, please, give it to me toru,” you spoke, making him let out a moan of satisfaction. You wrapped your arms around his neck when he lifted you suddenly, burring your hands in his hair and face in his neck as he slid his dick into you with zero prep, all at once.
You were greatful the aphrodisiac was in affect, making you so much wetter than normal, and in turn, making the stretch a whole less painful then it would’ve been without it.
You whined at how his massive clock split you in half effortlessly, “Sorry baby- m’ sorry-“ he apologized with a groan against your bruised neck; whatever consciousness he still had left being aware that that might’ve hurt you.
“Shit it’s o-okay toru, just give it to me- fuck-“ You tipped your head back, jaw dropping and releasing a loud whine, giving him more access to mark up your neck while he fucked into you like a mad man; legs dangling over his arms as he held you in his strong grasp, hoisting you up and down on his cock like you weighed nothing to him.
“Holy fuckkk” he whined, vibrations going through your skin, “Need to fill you up, need to fuck you full of my cum s-shit-“ Gojo was working himself up with his words, already on the brink of his orgasm only a couple thrusts in.
He was truly using you like a cocksleve as he fucked into you at an inhumane pace, heavy balls slapping against your ass, strings of your combined wetness connecting to your ass each time he thrusted inside.
He sucked harder against your skin as he felt his first high rapidly approach him. His eyes repeatedly rolling back in his skull at the rhythmic pulsing of your pussy around him.
“Shitshitshit- gonna c-cum, need you to take it all f’me” his deep voice reverberated through you, all you could do is cry and moan our strings of his name and “yesyesyes” while he fucked his first load of the night into you.
“T-take it f-fucking take it yessss” Gojo felt like he was on cloud nine, he had never felt anything like this before. Of course he loved cumming inside you when you had sex but this was different. Every neuron in his brain was telling him to fuck load after load into you; to get you pregnant.
Gojo didn’t actually want kids right now, and you were on the pill so the possibility of him actually knocking you up was low- but not if his aphrodisiac brain had anything to say about it; he would make sure to fucking try.
Ignoring the overstimulation he felt as he humped his cum into you with heavy thrusts, quickly picking up his speed again when he finished spurting the warm ropes of cum into you, making you squeal at his quick recovery.
“Pussy feels so fucking good, so fucking wet sh-itttt” he groaned, dick twitching and abs clenching as he fucked himself through the aftershocks of his orgasm, sending him straight twords another one.
“T-toru o-oh my god-“ you wimpered, body flopping around limply at the intense pleasure. His cock was drilling straight into your sweet spot and making you dizzy. You tried not to pass out as he manhandled your body, gripping you roughly and marking up your skin everywhere his insatiable lips could reach.
“Gonna knock you up baby- g-gunna give you my babies- get you fucking pregnant, yeah? you want that?” you cut off his filthy mouth by using the grip you had on his head to press his mouth against yours.
“Yesyesyes, give me your babies toru- gonna make you a daddy-“ he groaned into your mouth at your mutual need for him to fill you up.
Gojo felt drunk hearing the nickname bounce around inside his head. Gojo never thought he had a daddy kink, but in this scenario? The nickname had him feeling like he was about to come again already.
By this point, the aphrodisiac was affecting you just as much as it was him, everywhere his body touched yours felt like your skin was on fire. You tried not to lose your sanity as he was pushing your towards your first orgasm without so much as even grazing your clit.
He set you down on the ground and in one swift movement spun you around so you were facing the counter. Satoru used his massive had to grab hold of his cock, slipping it back into your drenched walls.
You both groaned in unison at the sensation. Gojo gave you both a couple seconds to relish in the feeling, pressing his balls hard against your ass before he picked up his same ruthless pace as before.
“Good fucking girl- gonna look so fucking pretty with ur belly all round with my baby shiiit” he groaned when he felt your cunt clench around him at the idea.
He brought his massive palm down feeling your cunt squeeze him, leaving a heavy spank against your ass and gripping the fat between his fingers.
“Pussy tryna fuckin’ milk me down here” he laughed, biting his lip when he watched your hand come down to rub your clit in quick circles, “Yeaahhh fucking touch your pussy for me baby, make urself cum all over my dick while i fill you up.” he instructed, clenching his jaw.
“Shit- g-give it to me daddy- cum inside me-” you mindlessly babbled, there you go again with that fucking nickname that had his balls tightening.
You feet the coil wind itself up quicker than normal at your enhanced sexual arousal from the chocolate and the now added stimulation of touching your neglected clit.
“Come with me baby, gotta feel you cum around me- please” he begged, leaving another loud slap against your ass before pulling you back on his dick roughly by your hips.
“S -shit it’s coming it’s coming i’m- fuckfuck- ngghhh” your warned, voice cutting out as you started to come around his girth while he fucked you through it.
“yeeeeeess baby- fuuuuck- milk my fucking cock fuck-“ he watched intently as your little hole clenched around him, his first load spurting out around his cock with the pressure of your orgasm, making the white ring around the base of his dick get even messier.
“I’m coming again baby- take it for me- need you to take it all, gotta make sure it t-takes” he whined, getting you pregnant still on the forfront of his brain.
Your legs would’ve collapsed on the floor if he wasn’t holding up a majority of your weight by your hips. Your nails slid against the marble as his cock rammed against your cervix, making you dizzy, broken moans getting forced out of your mouth at the feeling of getting repeatedly impaled on his cock.
You tried to gain a little bit of brainpower back to help gojo through his orgasm just like he did for you, “y-e-sss toru’ cum inside me please- i’ll take it all- be a good girl for you-“ your voice squeaked out, words getting louder at the end with how rough his thrusts were,
He leaned over your back, pressing his sweaty chest onto you while he wrapped you in a tight bear hug, not ceasing his ruthless hips, “Need you t-to kiss me baby- go-nna be instense” he whimpered against your shoulder, waiting for you to turn your head twords him to give him access to your mouth.
When you did he wasted no time in pressing his lips to yours. The two of you swallowed each others moans as his pitch got higher and higher; his tight grip was sure to leave dark bruises on your body as he held onto you for dear life at his impending orgasm.
When the coil finally snapped, he shook violently against you, hips stilling against your ass, pressing his hips as deep as he could into you while hot ropes of cum filled you up even more than his last load, making more cum spill out around him at how full you already were.
His breath was hitching into your mouth, lips doing their best to kiss you back as his jaw kept falling open as the waves of his high washed over him.
He whined and dropped his head against your shoulder when he started to come down. Gojo panted heavily against your skin, twitching in the aftershocks of his high.
“D-don’t move please” he requested, fucking his softening cock into you a couple more times to make sure his cum was as deep inside you as it could go.
“Fuck toru- feel so full right now..” you wined into the marble, wincing in overstimulation at his final few weak thrusts.
After a couple seconds he finally pulled out his cock, gulping hard as he watched his cum start to dribble out of you; making you whine at the slightly uncomfortable feeling.
He used a couple fingers to spread your pussy lips; admiring his work for a second before he used to fingers to scoop his cum back up, stuffing his thick digits back inside of you, “Gotta get that plug of yours to keep it all in,” he said, biting his lip at how soft you felt around his fingers.
“Or you could let me cockwarm you,” you giggled, turning your head back to look at him while he looked enthralled with your cunt.
“God I love you, smartest fucking girl I know.” he praised.
You fell into a fit of giggles when he scooped you up in his arms, peppering kisses onto your face while he headed twords your shared bedroom.
You wrapped your legs tightly around his waist while he walked, keeping them snug even when he dropped the two of you on the mattress together. Gojo’s large frame laying on top of you as he reached his hand down between you to slide his semi-hard cock back into your oversensitive walls, making you hiss at the feeling, “Sorry baby- almost in,” he promised, kissing your cheeks while he fully bottomed out.
He rolled his eyes at how warm and soft you felt around his dick, sucking soft hickeys into the crook of your neck while you pet his damp hair.
“I’ll clean you up in a second my love, promise, you just feel too good right now.” he let out a short laugh against you.
“‘S okay toru, makes me feel good too.” you tipped your head forward and pressed kisses onto the top of his scalp.
“We gotta be careful with those chocolates,” he laughed, “Might acctually knock you up one day if we keep eatin those,”
“That doesn’t sound half bad,” you confessed, squeezing your legs harder around his hips.
“Dangerous words to say right now pretty girl,” he warned, smirking into your skin,
“Oh right, guess you won the bet,” he remembered, “Whacha want ur big strong boyfriend to do for you?” he asked teasingly,
“Cum inside me again, right now,” you requested after a beat, emphasizing your need by squeezing your pussy walls around him, making him inhale a sharp breath between his teeth.
“Fuck… you serious?” he smirked, lifting his head to look at you.
“Don’t keep me waiting, give me my prize toru,” you pouted your bottom lip at him, making his brain short circuit as he felt his cock twitch back to life.
You ended up taking a plan B the next morning… just in case…
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daincrediblegg · 7 months ago
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no you know what I'm going to scream about the stuff I talked about in the tags of this post publicly
I'm tired of the well-meaning "don't feel bad if your work only gets 20 notes your genius is what counts and do it for you!" bullshit. I've had a good handful of friends who have straight up DEACTIVATED in recent months because their work was not getting reblogged AT ALL. No, it wasn't from lack of not being well-liked, no it wasn't from lack of trying to make sure it was getting out there to the people they knew would engage with it. It was because no matter how much they were praised privately for their work, when push came to shove, absolutely NOBODY reblogged it and gave it the audience that it was due, and I'm tired of people shoving the "unsung genius" narrative as an excuse for it. Nothing excuses that. And the boop event really proved that.
because I know given the opportunity, indiscriminately pressing a button (sometimes 10 thousand times, as I did) is not beyond this website's capability. y'all loved doing that. and look at what it wrought. nothing but love and affection and happiness. just from a couple of quick clicks of a little paw button. sure. nobody knew who you booped but the other person (which is how likes used to work on this website, btw). there was an element of anonymity to it. but that is kind of the core of this website that no other social media platform still has: the ability to be anonymous. and hyper-curating a blog on here like you might on twitter or instagram to project an image is simply not viable. and hey. you wanna know a secret: literally nobody cares what you post or whether it goes with the "theme" of your blog or not. yeah. I know. CRAZY concept in this day and age. but literally. I myself have reblogged things that have had nothing to do with whatever I am currently fixated by and you know what happened to my follower count? not a damn thing. in fact, I actively try to reblog things specifically BECAUSE it's my friends who made them (even though I'm not always good at KEEPING UP WITH HOW MUCH THEY POST @prismatica-the-strange will NEVER GO UNRECOGNIZED by me).
And you know what fucking sucks? I have to deal with this too. surprise right? you ever wonder why I reblog fics or art I post like 20 times the day that I post them? do you ever wonder why I ask about tag lists and beg for asks all the time? IT'S BECAUSE EVEN I GET LIKE. 5 LIKES ON THE THINGS I POST. AND THE REST OF THE REBLOGS ARE MINE SO I CAN MAKE SURE THAT PEOPLE WHO WANT TO SEE WHAT I MAKE GET TO SEE IT. and I say that knowing that I'm certainly not an unpopular blog, or an unpopular writer. I know that people love the stories that I create. Hell, half of the people that I've talked to about lady terror have told me that they consider her to be canon (AND EVEN SOME!! THOUGHT SHE WAS!!! WITHOUT EVEN HAVING WATCHED THE SHOW! WHICH IS STILL SO SO WILD TO ME!!!) But especially in the last 4 years (which really dates this phenomenon), my posts, no matter how well received they've been amongst people I've talked to about them directly, I still go into the notes and at least half (often more than half) are MY reblogs to make sure people saw what I posted. and it happens every single time, and I can't tell you how much it crushes me considering that it used to be that I would be able to post it only once, and people would reblog it sometimes even HUNDREDS of times.
It's not about popularity. it never has been. it's not about anxiety. or shifting website cultures. even if you lurk, the simple fact is, that if you want people to keep making what you love. you have to reblog. your theme won't suffer because you reblogged a fanfiction that you really admire. your posting won't be ruined because you reblogged some fanart from someone in a different fandom. really. I promise. and if people do unfollow you for that? who needs em. followers come and go but you should NEVER have to cater to them. on this website it has ALWAYS been the other way around. lean into it. make it yours. put stuff you ACTUALLY WANT to be seen and that you love and appreciate on your blog. no matter how old it is, how new it is, no matter how niche or off-theme it is.
so please. if you really want to show your appreciation for someone's work? you reblog. it's really as easy as that. check the tags. add some when you reblog if you like. but please for the love of god reblog. it's as easy as booping and even more rewarding for the people who you reblog from. if you want to let someone know that their work is genius and appreciate it? show it. reblog. then DM them if you're too nervous to say what you want to say but not in a public forum. but for christ's sake. REBLOG.
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meo-eiru · 3 months ago
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I must thank you for creating Silas because he’s awakened something in me. I’m curious as to what would happen if he decides to… devour his darling… (wink, wink nudge, nudge). I know you mentioned earlier how he would start feeling lewd if his darling chose to… devour him… for his pleasure. Would the thought cross his mind to return the favor both as an experiment to see how his darling’s… feminine fluids… affected him as well as to see her face and body contort in pleasure as he… goes down on her… the thought has been haunting me all day. — 🦚
Silas likes touching you, even though he doesn't understand his feelings he seeks pleasure from you without realizing it. And he also wants you to experience the same warm and tingly feeling.
With how interested he is in your fluids it's only a matter of time before he tries to bury his head between your legs. Maybe he noticed a change in your smell, picked up on your arousal or noticed you were a bit wet while changing your clothes. He would ask what that is curiously and even if you tell him to don't mind it he'll pull your underwear down while saying stuff like "It's okay you don't have to hide it from mama" "I'll just check you don't have to be shy about showing it to me"
He would first look at it in fascination, It's not the first time he has seen you naked but he didn't know that area could get wet like that. It doesn't seem like pee... It's more sticky and see through... He wants to try touching it!
He'll pick some up using his fingers against your protest and inspect it a bit. It's a much different texture than your other fluids how incredibly fascinating. Then before you can say no he brings his fingers to his mouth to taste it. It's just so interesting, it's not a taste he's used to. It feels a bit salty and sticky... He needs to try more.
Before you can react he puts his head between your legs saying he'll help clean you up, but really he just wants more of this new and mysterious juice. His tongue is weird. It's surprisingly longer than a human's, pinkish and much smoother. It's such a strange sensation but no matter how much you push his head he won't budge.
Silas is just so excited! The more he licks you clean the more fluid you produce, it's amazing! It's like you're willingly giving him more for him to consume❤️❤️ Ahh he wants more more more. It tastes so good, feels so good in his mouth. You've been letting out such adorable noises since he started, he didn't know he could make you feel good like this. He'll definitely take a note to do this more often.
But what if he goes deeper? They've been coming from inside your body, so if he goes deeper he can taste more right? Soon enough he's tongue deep in you lapping your juices like a thirsty dog. Oh god this feels so weird, his tongue goes so deep inside, you feel so full. It also has such smooth texture, you don't think you can hold back for much longer.
Before long you're cumming as you moan in pleasure. How embarrassing. Meanwhile Silas is in heaven, for some reason suddenly the amount of fluids increased and he's having a blast drinking it all up. Your voice has gone up too, ah he loves this so much.
He might continue and overstimulate you for another hour, until he notices you're getting too dazed. He just assumes he did a good job taking care of you and you need some rest. It's ok! You two can continue after you wake up❤️❤️
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miyukisu · 2 months ago
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1 | Awaken, My Love .ᐟ
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❤︎ | Ever since you two got together, he discovered some of the things that he's actually really really into ╰ feat. various blue lock characters x afab! reader
tags - both sfw and ns/fw headcanons (under the cut), mostly vanilla stuff, tit fucking, dirty talk, pussy eating
minors do not interact
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You know that I love you // So let me into your heart
— movie nights Movies in general used to be boring for them. You sit down for 2 hours and then what? There were other forms of entertainment out there and they preferred that. However, once you invited them to watch a movie one night, they couldn't refuse. They sat down, albeit reluctantly, and found that the movie was only slightly interesting. But they did like how you cuddled with them under a blanket and how you would comment every minute on what was happening on screen. Movies are still unamusing, but you were more than enough to keep them awake.
Bachira, Barou, Otoya, Hiori, Sendou, Lorenzo, Nagi ❤︎
— public displays of affection It was cringey when they first thought about it. Wouldn't people judge you for being so touchy and lovey-dovey out in broad daylight? But then you started holding their arm while navigating through crowded places. It was fine; they wouldn't want you getting lost anyway. As time went on, they just found themselves reaching out to you on their own. They'll just surprise themselves one day that their arm's already around your waist or that they're already kissing your forehead when they see some other guy looking at you too much.
Barou, Chigiri, Rin, Sae, Karasu, Kaiser, Raichi, Kiyora ❤︎
— terms of endearment They found it a bit childish as if only younger couples were doing that. You had a name, they had a name—what's the point of coming up with something else to call out each other? As much as they tried, the petnames never rolled off their tongue well. It always left a weird aftertaste. But his whole outlook changed when he heard you utter it accidentally. As you apologized for the slip of the tongue, he was internally malfunctioning from how adorable and heartwarming it felt to be called by something other than their given name.
Nagi, Karasu, Barou, Ness, Kurona, Gagamaru, Niko ❤︎
Sleeping with the moon and the stars // I know where you've been
— tit fucking Sure, they understood the appeal. But why waste time on that when perfectly good pussy was right in front of them? Hell, even your mouth would do more wonders. But you like to surprise them—keep them on their toes and such. So after sucking him off, you thought it would be a great idea to put his aching cock between your breasts. He was annoyed by it at first, but soon as he felt the softness and silkiness of your flesh—he was smitten. It was a sensation never felt before and now... he craves for it.
Isagi, Kunigami, Rin, Oliver, Sae, Gagamaru, Raichi ❤︎
— dirty talk Truth be told, they're just really shy. They can't fathom the idea of spilling out such filthy words and hearing it for themselves. But there came a time when he couldn't help but blurt out the dirty thoughts running through his mind. It caused your pussy to wantonly clench down on him and it sent him to heaven. Maybe, just maybe, he'd consider throwing away his pride for a moment if it meant experiencing that feeling once more. Oh, but if you're doing the dirty talk, then he's all ears.
Isagi, Nagi, Reo, Karasu, Yukimiya, Hiori ❤︎
— pussy eating Before meeting you, they were fully convinced that they were a receiver through and through. Nothing beats a blowjob after a particularly stressful day. Or so they thought. But why was it oddly liberating to lap up your pussy like there was no tomorrow? They found it strange that this was somehow more arousing than receiving. They experience a reluctant change of heart. They're not ready to admit that maybe they're more of a giver... he'll settle on being a switch for now.
Bachira, Nagi, Rin, Otoya, Oliver, Kaiser, Lorenzo ❤︎
©kzyluvr do not repost/reupload/translate any of my works on other platforms
╰ author's note more headcanons for blue lock or a different fandom? hmmm...
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sophiethewitch1 · 5 months ago
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What We Want - Chpt. 7 - Black N' White Knight
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In Which A Romantic Breaks The Universe
(Yandere!batboys x f!reader) 18+ MDNI!
SUMMARY
Another lonely birthday, another empty year. You miss your family. You're late for your bills and rent, and even then, you got robbed last Tuesday.
Still, you buy yourself a cupcake, because you need it. I mean, hey. What's dessert for if not to get over cheating boyfriends and dead relatives?
As you blow out the candle, watching the clock switch from 11:59 pm to midnight of the next day, you make a wish.
And because the world doesn't like to make much sense, it comes true. Your life is suddenly flipped on a dime, and you're stuck trying to catch up with it. Fantasy becomes reality. You're a Wayne now, apparently. Or you used to be. You're loved, you're rich, you're talented and powerful.
Well, sort of. Careful what you wish for, right?
(TRIGGER WARNINGS AND MASTERLIST HERE)
PREV - NEXT
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“I can’t believe that just happened,” Dick tells Tim, hand carting through his hair. The two of them are in the kitchen, at the breakfast bar. Tim sitting in front of his laptop with his legs crossed, and Dick tapping one foot agitatedly against the marble floor. While Tim might not be grinning ear to ear, it’s pretty obvious for anyone who knows him that he’s delighted by the tale Dick just regaled to him.
And what a tale it was. He hasn’t seen you in a year and a half, and then when he does, he finds you teary eyed staring at a picture of him shirtless at the gym. Bruce had always told him the way he played with the paparazzi would come to bite him in the ass one day, but he really can’t say he expected… that.
Obviously, it had to be a prank. That’s his first thought. That’s his only thought, really. What other explanation could there be? An accident? Maybe you’d forgotten what his room looked like. It wasn’t like he kept much personal stuff in his Wayne manor room, the only markers his clothes and the letters he kept in his drawer from his parents.
And you were wearing his clothes, of all things. He’d be surprised if you forgot how much of a Superman fanboy he was, seeing as he’d spent many hours ranting to you before the explosion. So, a prank. A show of good will, an olive branch maybe? It was more likely you were just fucking with his head, as you’d done in the past. Never like this, though.
This was just… bizarre.
“I can’t either,” and of course, Tim sounds near estatic saying that. The love of chaos ran true in that one.
Dick had managed to wrangle his life under control a few years back, and despite the universe seeming to try to unravel it at the seams, he was indisposed to let it simply happen. Even if you of all people had changed. No, Dick was getting older, and he was finding his taste for chaos a lot more… limited.
He didn’t want to suffer it’s affects. He was currently suffering it’s affects.
“I knew something was going on when she showed up to the party, but this…” Tim pauses, leaning back in his chair, “It’s gotta be a prank, right?”
It said a lot about their family that this was all the assumption they defaulted to.
“It could be something else. Did you even take her to the hospital after?” Dick offers instead, overthinking as always. This situation seemed to be made for overthinking, though.
Tim hums. “No, we did not.”
Then he turns his stare to Dick, like he’s expecting something from him.
“Seriously?”
“What? You’re the friendly one.”
Dick very much did his best to seem like the friendly one, at least. Tim was well aware it was a complete farce, though. Dick was nice but he could also be a bit… well… a bit of a dick. Another thing he’d been trying to overcome. He was doing better than when he’d been seven, at least.
Dick sighs, pressing his hand to his forehead, “I’d probably just end up accidentally nagging her, and then she’d never speak to me again.”
“That’s not my problem,” Tim shrugs, glancing back down at his laptop and squinting.
“It is, actually. Because if she stopped talking to me you’d probably be the next one till the girls and Duke came home who has to talk to her.”
“She could talk to Jay,” Tim offers, because he’s a shithead. Dick bets he did the same with Bruce, “And besides, I’m busy doing surveillance.”
“You mean stalking.”
“I do it to everybody, stop making such a big deal out of it.”
Dick sighs again.
“Hm, you might want to check your phone,” Tim says, in a way that suggests he has once again tapped the network. Keeping him out of Dick’s private life was like Sisyphus and his boulder. He still wasn't going to give up, and the time Tim and Steph mercilessly bullied him for getting dumped over text had made him all the more so.
‘Dont_try’: hey. can you come pick me up? thx
“Please, tell me you sent that and are just messing with me,” Dick begs, staring down at his phone in mild despair. Chaos. Always fucking chaos. Despite how hard he tried, he could not keep his family out of trouble. God damn it, when he’d gotten this job he’d been the one made for trouble. Where did he go wrong?
“Honestly, sounds like the sort of thing I’d do, but the girl just got bitch slapped so I really think you should respond fast.”
“What?!”
“She’s fine now, run to the bathrooms I think. You know for such an upstate place you’d think they had better camera positioning,” Tim mutters, complaining that he can’t watch every single little movement you make. Dick thinks he should probably worry about this, as it’s a clear sign of another decline for his sanity, but he’s now got this shit to deal with.
“Why, Tim? What is going on? Just tell me what’s going on.”
“Hm?” he’s engrossed by the computer, “Ah, the shitty boyfriend… some soup- ha, how is she such a clutz? Maybe we should get her head checked again- and… an altercation of some kind? I don’t know, I can’t see it properly.”
Dick leans forward in his stool, clasped hands covering his face for a moment.
“Are you going to reply? If you don’t soon, she’ll probably make it a bigger shitshow,” Tim says, nudging his foot against Dick’s. Dick, good big brother that he is, takes a deep breath and steadies himself. Even if this is really not what he wanted for his holiday, he’s dealt with much, much worse.
The press will have forgotten about this within the week. You, however, likely not. He’d promised to help you all those years ago, and even if he had no idea why you were reaching out to him, or if you would even be amicable when you met again, he’d still damn well do it.
He glances back down at his phone.
“What is going on?” Dick repeats to himself, and Tim’s head cocks to the side. There’s that familiar cat that got the cream grin spreading across his younger brother’s face, and it just really isn’t welcome right now.
“Intrigued yet?”
Unfortunately for both him, Tim and especially you, Dick already was.
He’s in his car in five minutes flat, finger tapping against the premium leather wheel. The sound of it is the only thing that manages to keep him sane.
Riding up to the place, Dick realises that no, maybe the press won’t be over this within the week. Considering the amount of paparazzi swarming the place, he doubted you’d be free for at least a few months. To be fair, the mysterious ex-wayne making such a scene was a bit of a big deal. Before you’d been basically invisible, despite your immense wealth and past.
Invisible? Dick thinks he spots at least twenty cameras. And that’s not even mentioning all the phones inside that would’ve gotten up close videos of whatever happened. Their legal team would handle it fine, that which Barbara or Tim couldn’t wipe from the face of the earth. And that was very little, all things considered.
Dick has to push past the calls of his name, ignoring all the intrusive questions volleyed his way like the pro he was. He still makes sure to listen carefully and store away every vital bit of information, as well as remember the logos on the film crew’s van. Eventually he makes his way to the front of the line, and the flustered front of house immediately recognises his face and sweeps him inside. Dick ducks in with a thankful smile, which he admits, falters when he enters the scene.
A scene which you are not in. Your gold digging boyfriend was, though. Of all the things Dick regrets with you, it’s not breaking the horrid relationship the two of you had apart. Or well, the fact that you totally, loudly hated his guts. He was a sensitive guy, y’know!
He sees your terribly boyfriend - George, Dick remembers - raging at some poor servers, and he knows he need to go sweep in and save the pour soul. It’ll be a hard fight, he can already tell.
Before he does so, he sends a quick text to his phone.
Underwear_guy: Where are you?
Don’t_try: I’ll be right out.
Shockingly, that was the truth. You come striding into the restaurant, and immediately all eyes are on you. It makes you stutter-step. Dick can see you visibly stiffen up, before you manage to gather your courage and keep walking. You don’t even pay him a single glance as you walk straight towards your fuming boyfriend.
You try to whisper, keeping your voice quiet and your conversation private. The boyfriend seems uninterested in the idea.
“What the fuck are you thinking?!” he cuts you off.
You glance around, and then say something else. It seems like you’re trying to defuse the situation, but George seems uninterested by the idea. 
“This behaviour is ridiculous. You need to get it together, we’re in public!” he yells, like he isn’t the one causing a scene. He seems to be trying to intimidate you back into silence. But today and well, yesterday too, something is different about you.
Okay, that’s enough of that. Dick’s intervening.
“You cheated on me! You deserve it and everything that’s coming to you!”
Or, uh, maybe you’ve got it covered.
-
George’s shocked face is almost worse than when you literally bit him. Guess he expected you to be a bit more demure after that encounter. He should know better, the other version of you seemed to have been even more spiteful in nature.
Today again, you prove you are a less than stellar person. You’d stopped caring about George as soon as you’d discovered he’d cheated, but you were still angry. Not jealous, but furious. Bubbling up your throat, rage and bile and the urge to attack him once again, even if you just want to go home.
Your teeth grind. Your jaw ticks. And oddly, you realise you have a real taste for George Lancaster’s limbs.
Though your life had changed (literally) in the past few days, you were still the same girl from your first twenty-first. You wanted George Lancaster to suffer. Even more so, now that the evil cunt had hit you right in the face. The hit had stunned you, though. More emotionally than physically, but it had shocked you.
You couldn’t say you were a coward. You’d spent far too many days in your teenage years indulging in self-destructive behaviours to think that. But something about this pathetic man was scaring the shit out of you. You think that made you more pathetic, but you couldn’t quite tell. That’d be victim blaming, right?
You did have a habit of blaming yourself. It was just usually your fault.
…Maybe you shouldn’t have bit him, no matter how much the response was instinctual or his screech was satisfying. This was all too confusing, all too much. You needed to get back to your apartment, lock the doors and barricade them so nobody bothers you. And then maybe hibernate for a week. You needed some time to process all the stupid bullshit you were experiencing. The wayne manor was too much, your horrible white apartment was too much, George fucking Lancaster was too fucking god damn much.
You take a deep breath, and manage to stop yourself from bolting like a deer. Deal with the problem at hand. Deal with it now, deal with it!
“I’m leaving, and we are done. It’s that simple,” you tell George, trying to drill in a message that he seems unable to comprehend. At this point you’d assume he’d be trying to apologise, manipulate back into his good graces, but you think you might’ve completely broke him. Broke the script.
Good. That was damn well good.
“Can we talk about this somewhere else at least?” George replies, eyes flicking to Richard Grayson’s angry gaze. At least you think he’s angry. You can’t quite gather the courage to look directly at him.
Also, there’s the manipulation! You wish you weren’t right this time.
“Sure, but I’m bringing him, and my answer will absolutely not change. You hit me.”
“You bit me!”
Well, yeah, not your best moment. You don’t think you can regret it, though.
“Then I think this relationship is ending on equal terms,” you reply, trying your best to just get him to quit it. It is obviously not working by the way his expression darkens.
“I’ll tell the press everything,” George threatens, which, well, is sort of a shitty threat because I don’t even know what he’s threatening. ‘Everything’? Couldn’t he be a bit more specific?
You shrug. It is the wrong response, you know it is, but you’ve completely ran dry of fucks to give. Couldn’t be much worse than the bullshit happening right now. The press were already very well fed, considering the situation that was today. George makes a small sound of fury.
“We’ll sue,” Richard Grayson, the white knight that you’d daydreamed about, comes to your rescue. Is it odd that it’s kind of flustering? You probably shouldn’t be flustered.
George immediately snaps his gaze to Grayson’s, giving the man a look with a healthy dose of fear. Couldn’t blame the guy. Even if he was the second smallest of the three remaining brothers, he was still well known for being strong. His family often did kick-boxing, and their sister, Cass, often whooped their asses. It was sort of satisfying to watch. Anyway, his physical prowess from fighting to weirdo gymnastic bullshit was evident in his svelte build.
George was many things, but he wasn’t an idiot. With just the one threat from the Waynes legal team, he skitters away like the little rat you know him to be. He leaves the restaurant, and he very obviously does not pay or even leave a tip. You suppose you have the cash to make up for it. Then, ignoring the paparazzi, you were technically home free. You glance to the side. Richard Grayson’s beautiful face looks a mix of confuddled, frustrated, and exhausted. He still saved you, though, even after the fool you made of yourself.
White knight, indeed. It almost feels a bit anticlimactic, but it’s the results you wanted. And yet, an ominous feeling befalls you. Somehow, you don’t feel you’ve seen the last of George Lancaster. You just really hope the old you hadn’t committed any crimes. A tabloid? Humiliating, but livable. Prison? Not so much.
Not that the rich stayed in prison in Gotham, or even the rest of the world. It was kind of strange to realise you were sort of above the law now.
You glance at Dick, pulling your uncomfortably wet shirt away from your chest. You’ve sort of been bled dry of any shits you could give at this point, so you decide, very maturely, to make jokes and ignore all your problems. It had gotten you this far.
You’d seen this behaviour before. Many, many times. It was what usually got you fired. But now you didn’t really have to worry about that, so why should you worry about causing a scene and ruining your life a bit more? It wasn’t yours, after all.
“What do you think?” you joke, elbowing Dick. He looks down from glaring at the entrance George just slipped out of, to you. His blue eyes are a damn near shock to the soul. It takes everything in you not to start fidgeting.
“Think of what?” he responds, and despite how hard you try, you can not read his expression.
“I’m trying to make some more news. Don’t think the reporters got enough the other day,” you say, gesturing to the giant stain. It’s still Dick’s shirt. You hadn’t realised till now, but the Beatles was now some sort of green soup. Is it kind of gross of you to acknowledge that at least the soup smelled good?
Probably. You didn’t actually get to eat anything here. It’s also probably a bit weird that you’re thinking about eating at a time like this. Probably.
“I think you’ve done enough, honestly,” he says, glancing at the camera flashes from outside.
He sounds exactly like your mother, it’s almost uncanny. Well, this version of him technically knew her. You’re still not sure how well en-meshed your two families had been before the disaster, but maybe he’d picked up some traits from her.
…That… you’re not sure how to feel about the idea. The old green monster bubbles up at the thought, and you can’t tell if you’re jealous your mum got to meet Dick Grayson, or that Dick Grayson might’ve gotten to know your mum.
“We should leave,” he says, cutting off your bitter inner thoughts, “I know you don’t like it when the magazines bother you.”
You don’t? You don’t. Yes, that makes sense, ‘you’ definitely wouldn’t have. And it’s not like you feel comfortable with them either. In fact, if you think about the fact your drowned rat appearance will be on every tabloid in the city by tomorrow, probably alongside photos from your birthday, you feel so nauseous you could collapse. Going to compartmentalise that one.
“Yes, going, let’s go,” you say, following Dick out of the restaurant.
Despite the fact that the security guards are trying their best, it’s getting quite rowdy out here. When Dick wraps an arm around your shoulder, shielding you with his body, you almost just pass out right there. His muscles… Your heart simply can’t take it. As it is, Dick notices you jump like a foot in the air, and backs off. He still makes sure to try and protect you from their vision as much as possible.
Still, in an act that is purely rebellious, you turn and give them a big smile and a wave. Even as you hate every single person on the other side of the divide, you want to make one thing very clear. You will not be cowed by someone like George fucking Lancaster. Your peace sign and wink are a message to them, to him, and to yourself.
Despite the fact that this new life is one you have no idea how to handle, you know one thing. Put on a face, and it’ll always be easier.
Dick is probably wondering what the hell happened to you for you to be acting this way. Your shirt has a giant stain on it, you just broke up with your cheating boyfriend, went through a traumatising experience just a few days ago, and you’ve got the biggest grin on your face. This behaviour speaks more and more of a full blown mental breakdown. And it’s not the first you’ve had or the last.
There’s paparazzi snapping thousands of photos of the two of you, and instead of shying away as ‘you’ used to, you throw up a peace sign. One of the papps drops their camera. That confuses you a bit, as your peace sign deflates slightly. Didn’t they want more pictures? Weren’t you supposed to pose…?
For all you stalked celebrities online, you realise you have no idea how to pretend to be one. This is going to become an issue, you can already tell.
He points at a car, and you assume it’s his because he starts making his way over. He’s obviously done this sort of thing before, using and guiding the security with a smooth confidence. Even still, the two of you are a bit too close for comfort.
Which you prove, by putting your foot directly in your mouth.
“I don’t have abs, but do you think the press would like my stomach like they like yours?” you say, and almost immediately regret it. Another poor joke. You are deflecting so hard. And why the hell did you bring that up, you dunce? You feel your brain cells draining the more you’re around this guy, it’s not healthy for you.
“Please don’t pull your shirt up in public,” Dick sounds like he’s about to have a mental breakdown. It’s spreading, like the plague. You’re patient zero, of course. Even still he gets you guys to the car, and opens the side door for you. You follow his wordless command and slip into the passenger seat.
“I won’t. Sorry, sorry,” you reply, to relieve him of some of the trauma you’re currently inflicting.
He glances back to the papps, and then back down at you. His smile bowls you over like he’s getting the last strike in a fucking 300. He genuinely is the most beautiful human being you’ve ever seen. Thankfully, he closes the door so you have a moment to gather your sanity before he goes around the car and gets in the driver’s seat.
You hope you’re subtle when you shift away from him slightly. It shouldn’t be that surprising really. You were stupid on average. You would be stupider around attractive people. You would be frankly disastrous around someone as blastingly hot as Dick Grayson. The Waynes in general turned you into a drooling idiot.
Good god, you need to get out of this car. As soon as you think that, Dick is pulling away from the parking spot and out onto the streets. He makes slow progress because Gotham traffic, but eventually you manage to flee the horrifying stares of the cameras. Already you can tell it’ll be giving you nightmares. Probably along with images of the guy who tried to rape you and Damian Wayne sneering at you.
“So, how are you feeling?”
Despite how you wish it not, Mr. Grayson decides he’s going to start a conversation with you.
“Good,” you reply, the answer instinctive and an obvious lie.
You can feel his gaze on the side of your face, but you don’t dare return it.
“That’s good to hear,” he says, and his voice is gentle. Sort of infantilising if you’ll be honest.
While it is very clear to anyone who looks at you that you have no idea what you’re doing, you’d rather he didn’t bring it up. You’ll figure it out. You’ve always managed to figure it out. This is what you get for asking for help. Really, despite your momentary panic you could’ve taken George. Probably not physically, but…
“You can talk to me if you want, you know?”
“Can you stop the car, please?” you respond, when that question immediately activates your fight or flight response. Dick must notice something about you, because he quickly shoots forward and into a momentarily available parking spot.
You scramble with the door, shoving your way back out onto the asphalt. The immediate distinct smell of Gotham, even Gotham’s richer districts, calms you down. Sewage, the ocean, and the ever present smoke and fog.
Fuck’s sake. You aren’t making yourself look anymore well put together.
Clearing your throat, you turn and find Richard Grayson coming around the car hood towards you. There’s a worried look in his eyes, and you really don’t know how to deal with it. It’s like you made a deal with the devil. By getting rid of George, you’d gotten a new problem - and an infinitely more complicated one.
Shit, you need to stop making rash decisions when you’re having panic attacks. You’d say you should probably try and stop having panic attacks entirely, but you don’t really know how to do that.
The sound of your name has you snapping back to attention. Dick looks even more worried.
“Are you sure you’re alright?” he asks, taking a few slow steps towards you. Again, infantilizing. Like you’re a wild animal about to run. Wait, weren’t you just comparing yourself to a chihuahua? Well, it’s not the same when other people do it.
“I’d like to take a walk,” you say, hand scrunching into your pyjama pants, “Alone, I’d like some time alone.”
“…In that?” He glances down at the stain that is slowly starting to dry. It’s making your skin itchy, but at least it’s not as cold.
“I can buy something,” you say, remembering one of the apps on your phone was connected to your bank account, which you had to assume was pretty full. It’s kind of stupid that you haven’t checked that yet.
You’re starting to feel a bit defensive towards your own intelligence. Maybe it’s because you seemingly keep making all the worst decisions.
Dick doesn’t make it any better.
“Do you have cash on you?” he asks, showing how little faith he has in your general abilities to survive as an adult in Gotham.
“I do, I’ll be fine,” you insist, because god damn it, you will be. You just need a fucking minute.
You ran from the Wayne manor because you felt like you were being watched, and then as soon as you showed up at the world’s most uncomfortable apartment, the haunting wraith known as George dragged you out in your P.J.s. You could figure it the fuck out, if these people would give you some fucking space.
Richard Grayson seems to realise that you’re getting upset, because he goes quiet for a moment. After staring at you for a moment longer, for which you manage to find the courage to maintain eye contact through pure stubborn will, he asks you one final question.
“Are you sure you don’t want a ride home or something?” he asks, still seeming so determined to help you.
His suggestion brings flashes of images of you breaking down in front of the Bruce Wayne to mind. From almost a birds eye view, you see yourself sobbing against your own ruined dress as the billionaire looked on. Bile literally jumps up your throat, and it takes a lot of willpower not to grimace at the suggestion.
“Look, Mr. Grayson, I really appreciate-”
“That’s the second time you’ve called me that.”
Once again, you feel the urge to simply sprint away from your own problems, but you manage to hold yourself still. Still, you can’t think of a solution. You can’t really think much of anything. Instead you stare at Richard Grayson with your hands threaded together and your lips pressed into a thin line.
Though you open your mouth to speak, you find you have no excuses ready or available. You’ve talked yourself into a corner already, and it’s your third day in this world. Marvellous. Maybe you should just tell the truth.
Still, the dangers outweigh the pros. They don’t know you, they don’t have any real reason to take care of you. If they believe you, they’ll toss you out onto the streets penniless. And if they don’t-
You blink. There’s a highway sign behind Dick, and it catches your attention like a lightning bolt. ‘Arkham Asylum 800 miles’. It’s white blocky letters on green panelling feels like a sign from god, warning you from the path you consider taking.
And then you realise that you might actually get sent to Arkham if you say anything, and you resolve to never tell a single soul about what has happened to you. You’ve heard enough stories about the asylum, and by god, you are not being roommates with the fucking Joker of all people.
Eventually Dick realises he’s not getting anything out of you and he sighs, shaking his head. His annoyingly perfect hair mesmerises you for a second, but you manage to wrangle your brain back under control. He really doesn’t make it easy.
“I just want to know if you’re safe. If you’re going through anything, you know we’re always happy to help-”
“Dick,” you say his name, face twisting in discomfort, “This was a… a one time thing. Usually I can handle my problems. It just… it caught me off guard. George cheating was a huge shock, and I needed someone to stand by me.”
“And you know I always will, right?”
Ah. That’s… Dick Grayson was a stranger. You didn’t know him, and more than that he did not know you. He did not know what you would do, could do. You didn’t think anyone did, not even yourself.
It’s a silly idea to expect your celebrity crush to save you, and it’s one you find you can’t stomach it at the moment. It makes you feel disgusted with yourself at the idea. It’s too indulgent, too silly. It’s very simply, not possible.
You’ve given up on relying on miracles. These lessons had been beaten into you, really. You didn’t want to have to learn them again.
Your feelings must show on your face.
Dick lets out a whoosh of air, frustration palpable. He carts his hand through his hair. It still looks perfect. The world is unfair, yadda yadda.
“You run hot and cold, you know?” he gives you a grin. It says a lot about his ability to act, seeing as it seems almost natural. Almost, being the key word.
Also, he is absolutely correct. The chihuahua effect is in full-swing. And you know what? You are probably going to continue to run hot and cold, because you’ve never made a decision in your life. He’ll just have to get used to it.
You raise your hands and shrug, in the universal ‘what-can-you-do?’ motion. He wasn’t wrong. You were being completely erratic. Not even you knew what you’d do next. At least life isn’t boring these days, right Right? You wonder who you are trying to fool, because it’s certainly not yourself.
“I’ll contact you if I need anything,” you lie, because it seems to be the right thing to end this torturous conversation, “And I’ll make sure to keep contact with Alfred. You can talk to Jeanine if you need anything, as well.”
Dick, unfortunately, calls you out on your bullshit.
“But not you, right?” he says, smile still printed on his face.
Woof. You think… you’ve hurt his feelings? Ah shit, you instantly feel like the scum of the earth. Still, you don’t know how you could fix this. Arkham is a genuine threat lingering over your shoulder, you don’t know enough about your new cut-throat billionaire world, and you can not lose any faith they have in you. Any that you have left, that is.
You’re sorry, but this is coming down to survival. And you are a greedy person, after all.
In the end, you don’t have anything to say, and Richard Grayson leaves without a word. Watching him walk towards his car, you feel… bad. Really bad. The part of you that is still crushing on this guy, a very large part of you, feels like you’ve ended the earth. The other part, the one that recognises that once again you’re going to have to fight for yourself… well, she thinks so too.
Maybe… maybe you could fix this. Apologise. Once you’ve gotten your bearings and know you’re safe and 100% financially stable, maybe you’ll figure it out. Give him his shirt back after you’ve dry-cleaned it.
For now, you give him your back as well.
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MASTERLIST - NEXT
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gay-dorito-dust · 5 months ago
Note
Hello! I hope you’re doing well😊
I’ve been stalking your blog for a while and I love how you write the dc boys and was wondering if I could request a head cannon or small blurb?
So, one of my guy friends has a list of things written in his iPhone about his girlfriend, like her favorite food, flower, color, possible gift ideas, any and all anniversaries, etc. just a long list of everything he can think of pertaining to her. It got me thinking about Jason/Tim/Dick having something similar on their phone for their SO. Maybe the reader finds it one day while scrolling through their phone and they just 🥺❤️❤️ while their boy get flustered lol
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Dick
Dick had a list on his phone specially made for you and while to some it would seem like what he had listed were mundane or not all that interesting, but that couldn’t be less then the truth to him as everything pertaining to you was worth jotting down and remembering.
From the way you liked your tea/coffee, your comfort movie and or tv show, right down to the way you always wanted to go on a date to a proper aquarium one day, all of this and so much more was taken into account as Dick often used this knowledge for brainstorming your next date night.
He takes it extremely seriously as he wanted everything to be worthwhile for you and also the fact that he’d get to see you smile as brightly as you did, it was his Achilles heel and Dick wasn’t ashamed to admit it.
So one day when he was writing down ideas on where to where to take you for your next date, you were just so happened to be in the room to take notice how on he left his phone open as he went into another room for one reason or another, and got curious as to what he had been so concentrated on; and what you found was enough to melt your heart.
In an extremely long list was filled to the brim with things about you that dick loved/took notice of and adored that even you yourself didn’t notice doing half of these things. It was like as though Dick saw more to you than you ever did and it made you feel…well loved.
‘Aww Dick. Is this list all about me?’ You asked as you read further down the list as Dick burrowed his face into your neck as he held you from behind after seeing you read the list on his phone.
‘It’s not like I can deny it now can I darling,’ he said, tightening his hold on you as he felt his cheeks fluster slightly, he’s not use to someone reading his innermost thoughts and feelings and now that someone has he’s not use to the feeling he was currently experiencing.
‘There’s even stuff in here that I’ve told you ages ago.’ You exclaimed, looking over at him with adoration. ‘You’re amazing you know that.’ You praised him, kissing his forehead softly.
‘So I’ve been told but it means a hell of a lot more when you’re the one praising me.’ Dick chuckled as he kissed your neck, keeping you close as the list on his became long forgotten as you continued to smother your dickie bird in affection.
Jason
Jason’s list about was seemingly never ending with how often he was adding onto it with things that you did or have started doing just recently that he couldn’t get enough of.
He had things such as how you’d snuggle up in bed in one of his hoodies, cuddling the pillow on his side of the bed close to your chest whenever you were missing him and stuff like how you latch yourself onto him from behind and chomping down on his shoulders and biceps when you wanted some attention from him.
Anything and everything you did that made his heart melt into a puddle was there and as mentioned beforehand it was growing on a daily basis.
So when you came across this list of his, you couldn’t help but feel as though you were seeing yourself through his own eyes for the first time, and seeing just how serious he was about you from his long and detailed list on just about everything you’ve ever done before and during your relationship.
There were even parts where he would go on about how cute you were during certain moments and how he’d take you to special places for dates when given enough time, and being amazed at how he’d remembered something you had brought up in passing several months ago.
Jason had taken every single detail about you and show just how much he loved them by keeping a list of them on his phone so that he doesn’t ever forget. Perks of being a hopeless romantic who’s read every Jane Austen book in existence. You had consumed his mind, body and soul and this listen only proved it as you delved in just how much you seemingly were on your pretty boy’s mind, much to his embarrassment.
‘Sweetheart.’ He droned from behind you. ‘You weren’t learnt to see that.’
‘Why not?’ You asked, holding his phone close to your chest, pouting, wanting to read more of his list about you and your many, many, many attributes that he adored like no other.
‘It was meant to be kept a secret so that I could surprise you on our next date.’ Jason told you with flustered cheeks at the fact that you now knew just how deeply he thought of you.
You only smiled at him as you peppered his face in kisses. ‘You’re such a hopeless romantic.’ You teased. ‘I love it.’
‘Only for you sweetheart, only for you.’ Jason murmured as he leaned in for more face kisses.
Tim
‘You shouldn’t be reading that.’ Tim would say when he found you reading the embarrassingly long list that he had specifically made for you and everything he’s known about you since you started dating. Tim was smart to take safety procedures in most things, but he seemingly forgot that you could easily access his phone that he had left open by accident.
‘Why not, are you embarrassed?’ You asked, smiling at how hellbent your boyfriend was on getting you to stop read in the list that he himself had made.
‘No, it’s just-‘
‘I’m only teasing sweet Tim, I think it’s really sweet that you made a list all about me.’ You interpret him as you reached out to hold his hand, squeezing it reassuringly when you felt his nervousness, kissing the back of it for good measure.
‘You really are a pain.’ Tim groaned as he plopped himself down next to you, still not over the fact that he was left his phone open for anyone to read just how badly your hold over him was, he thanked god that it was you who came across it rather then his siblings. Tim would never be able to live it down if someone like Damian or Jason or god forbid Dick had found his big little list about his perfect partner.
It had everything from your comfort foods, to that childhood plush that you held tremendous sentimental value towards, and things that you’ve mentioned once or twice that didn’t seem like much but were more then worth writing down and kept for future reference.
He couldn’t help it, there was so much about you that was worth writing down as you meant a lot to Tim and he found often found himself coming up with complex ideas for something as simple as your future date nights. Most were mainly date nights spend at home but neither of you were complaining if it meant spending quality time together, regardless of where that might end up being.
‘Well that’s odd because if I was then you wouldn’t have made the equivalent to an Google docs on me.’ You cheekily said, bumping your shoulder with his as he groaned, covering his face with his hands but the tips of his ears were beet red. God he was cute when he wasn’t being sarcastic and a smart ass. ‘I hate you.’ He said, voice muffled by his hands.
You smiled as you kissed the hands covering his face before leaning your head against his shoulder. ‘I love you too Tim Drake, more than anything.’
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moonsbypadfoot · 8 months ago
Text
interest | theodore nott x female reader.
warnings : angst, fluff, based on real live events that I am still going through! (Some parts are still made up, I've only experienced the first half, the second half are made up) 😘🙃, slytherin reader (doesn't really affect the story), usage of y/n, short, short, short fan fiction, wrote this in like 30 mins, english isn't my first language and I am convinced that I'm dyslexic, second person pov,
have fun reading!
🦖
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it was your fifth year at hogwarts, fifth year being friends with pansy, and your fifth year being hopelessly inlove with theodore.
yes, you've had 'relationships' before him, but he was still at the back of your mind. theodore was still lingering.
Theo seemed funny, moody, and so much more, but, you didn't expect him to like books.
Pansy looked down while eating her food, and simply said "you're reading little women too? Theodore loves that book" To which you hushed her immediately.
But that didn't stop you from asking her about Theo,later that day. "He likes it? " You asked, showing the book to pansy, "who likes what? " Pansy scrunched her eyebrows, and you groaned loudly.
"Theodore, pansy, Theodore! "
Pansy nodded her head, saying "oh yeah, he likes it". You gasped at how chill she is, and you said " This might be it pansy! ".
And oh you were right, it is it. You and daphne were sitting on a bench, gossiping about other people. When all of the sudden, Theodore passed you two, and said "Laurie, mhm? ".
"So you do like little women? " You and daphne's attention were shifted to him "since forever", and just like that, he left.
That became a more and more of a schedule for you to sit on that same bench everyday, on the exact same time. Daphne doesn't know that you still like him, it was well common knowledge that you used to like Theodore, but, everyone thought that you had moved on.
Daphne was so tired of Theodore, that whenever she sees him coming to you two, she'd roll her eyes sand say stuff like 'here he goes again' and make the biggest sigh ever.
Your first 'real' conversation was him coming up to you, saying "I like jo more than amy". At that point you didn't know what to say, neither Daphne or Pansy was there to make you less tense.
You scoffed "Amy is way better". You tried to keep yourself cool, and you did just that.
For days to days you two became closer. You'd have little chit chats after dinner, and your liking for him became bigger, but it shouldn't have.
"I have some little women.. Merch, I can send it to your room, later" Theodore suggested. "First of all, pansy would kill me if I had a boy in my room. Second of all, that will not happen cause if you do the stairs will turn into a literal slide and make you look stupid" You said, to which he just started at you.
You stupidly dreamt of him in your room, which is obviously forbidden.
Unsurprisingly, Daphne eventually found out about you still liking him, and she's convinced that Theo likes you back.
"Do you not remember what he said? 'I used to like little women, now I like it again because of her' and the boy pointed at you! And do you not remember quidditch? "
Oh boy, you do remember Quidditch.
His Quidditch match was last Wednesday, and two days before that, you two made a bet. If he won, you have to give him 15 galleons, and if he lose, he has to give you 15 galleons.
See, that same week, your professors had bombarded everyone with exams. So, if it wasn't for him you wouldn't have watched any of the Quidditch stuff.
That Wednesday, you kept exactly 15 galleons in your pocket. And, unsurprisingly he won. The slytherins celebrated like crazy, and, after that, you came up to him, saying "I could've bought myself candy but, I have your 15 galleons".
"No need for that," Theodore softly smiles, and went back to his friends who were cheering and waiting for him.
That day you couldve swore you spent a thousand hour telling pansy what you felt.
All of the sudden, Theodore didn't seem interested. You hadn't told Daphne about this, but pansy is so mas at him for the sudden stop of interest.
"See, boys are immature" Pansy groaned and rolled her eyes. "I wanted to know about his friend and, theodore-"
"Not so loud! " You sushed her, reminding that you two were still in the great hall. You doubt anyone heard you but, still, for safety reasons. "How about.. My 'him', we can call him uh.. "
"Toaster, cause if he doesn't act right Im gonna-"
"Hold your horses, pansy, let's call him trex"
"Fine, you're way too nice for that guy, and uhm, what should I call my 'him'? " Pansy asked, and, there was one minute of silence.
"Maybe trial number #2? "
That was the day your nicknames were born, and, things excelated from there. 'Trial #2', which is blaise, talked to pansy in the Slightest way possible, and 'trex' which is theo is talking to you, but he makes the conversation as dry as possible.
Theo is almost always the conversation starter, but when it comes to keeping the conversation going, it's you, and it is hardwork to keep Theo talking to you
That also reminded you of a conversation you had a long, long time ago with millicent. About how he's broken home and doesn't have a mother, and turns out it was true.
"So, that explains the on and off thing with you and him" Pansy shrugged "if you're really in love with him, you're in some really deep shit. Trial #2 barely talks to me"
and in deep shit you are, as the days became longer because he didn't want to talk to you. Pansy convinced you enough to just stop talking to him.
You felt better but, there is still something in you still craving him dearly.
"He's just there, pansy, like.. Like a word about to be spoken, but then vanishes out of our brains! One second he's there and the next he's gone! " You complained.
What made you more confused is that, you and him became more confusing. You felt like you're more than a friend, but you don't know what it is because of one thing he said.
It was common for you friends, lorenzo, and Mattheo, to tease you about Theo. It's as if they know.
Obviously, Theo was there too, along with Daphne next to you. "Y/n, I think you and Theodore are a good fit" Lorenzo laughed, and the others chimed with agreement. But, it was a subtle whisper from Theo that made you down for the rest of the day. "Don't say that, I like astoria"
You kept laughing, though it was obvious for those who actually knows you that your laugh was so fake.
You kept ignoring him, and you truly do feel better for once. As pansy says 'give him taste of his own medicine ' and you did what she said, and you felt better, for awhile.
Till he came up to you and forced you to confess.
"The fuck is wrong with you y/n? " Theodore said. "What do you mean? " You said, but, the pit in your stomach tells you exactly what he means.
"You're avoiding me. I thought we were friends"
"That's the problem" You said, in a confusing tone, which made him think.. Was it a question or a statement?
"I thought we couldve been more, Theo" You rolled your eyes at his oblivion, and you paused "you like astoria, don't you, mhm? You said it yourself".
Theo frowned "don't act so innocent, you and Macmillan were so close I thought you two were dating".
"I wasn't" You paused, "I moved on a long time ago, unlike you, no one moves on in the span of two weeks".
"Her friends told me she doesn't like me! "
"So what? That makes it right? I don't care if she likes you or not, I care if you like her or not. If I'm just your second choice, this won't work. Pansy told me that I'm better than any boys in Hogwarts, and I agree with her! Because boys like you suck"
"I like you, okay? Will you get that into your thick skull?" Theodore groaned and rolled his eyes.
"You're weird" You said, "what about me Is weird? " Theo asks.
"Your on and off stuff. You act interested, then when I actually wanna talk to you you get so dry, do you not think of that? Or you're actually really dumb? "
"You ignored me too"
"That's because I wanted you to feel what I felt! "
You honestly felt sad but, anger was more visible. But Theo looked emotionless. He wasn't happy, angry, sad, he was just there.
You both wanted to say something, but you didn't. Neither you nor Theo said a thing. You opened your bag and found your book, well, technically his.
"Here's a book that i borrowed" You said, giving it to him. "You can keep it" Theo pushed the book back to you, but your hand didn't budge. "No thanks, theo.. Ive written somethings in pencil. Don't worry too much because it's so thin you could barely tell what I wrote, a single swipe with your finger or eraser, it'll be gone".
A week has passed. And you knew for a fact he didn't re read the book.
On your favorite page, you wrote 'three broomsticks, next month, 9:00 AM? ' a month ago.
You knew way more than to come there, or did you?
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gassydumbjocks · 7 days ago
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Virilite 1.1:
Boys will be boys
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Training Liam to be the perfect manly dude he was meant to be was more fun than i thought, i kept trying a lil more commands on him, some even to humble him a bit making him do embarrasing stuff he'd NEVER do and he'd just obey without hesitation.
This was just getting better, and better, and again i thought of what Noah would think of this when he'd see Liam being no more than a puppet for the amusement of the commander.
After making him burp out the entire national anthem and laughing my ass off at him, i heard some steps from upstairs coming, Noah came at our weekly gathering to watch the game together while having some beers, i had to think of a good excuse for Liam, or maybe should i just tell him it was the best?
"Dave, where did ya put-... Oh, you're with... Liam?" he said scratching his neck, confused, Liam and i rarely interactued, let alone just the two of us, but this was going to be different from now on.
"Uh, yeah, we were just waiting for you here" i lie returning to the couch hoping he'd buy it .
"Sure, ok then" he simply shrugs it up "i was looking for him upstairs too, Liam, can you help me bring all the food and drinks?" he asks his son, and as he gets no response he raises an eyebrow "Son?"
I quickly intervene "Leave him, i can help you with that" i say but he ingnores it "No, i want him to do it besides... Why is he so, vacant?" He notices Liam is just sitting in a static position, no movement from him, and also his empty look "Liam you alright?" he asks again, and as expected, no response.
"What's with him all of a sudden?" he suddenly asks me, and i gasp a bit. He looks at him again, and then notices the bottle of Virilite pills that were still at the table "Virilite? What's that?" he says now focusing on them taking the container.
"Noah, i can explain this, those are some pills i bought, for Liam, you see?" i admit "They are meant to turn him into a real man, just as you and me always wanted, look, just let me show you" i try to explain him.
"Pills?! But, Dave- what the hell? What do you even mean?" he asks starting to frown a bit, i quickly take the container and show him the instructions.
"See? These have effects on the behavior and even actions of whoever that takes them, and even affects the increase of testosterone on him! He'll be in a trance-like state and you'll just need to command him do anything you want" i say, he still giving me a killer look.
"Noah, this can help you to finally lead him the right way and turn him into a good straight man, dont tell me you didn't seek for a miracle to change him so he'd finally like to bond with you" i say, and he just stays silent, proving my point.
"Even so, what can i "command" him to do?" he asks shrugging, and i smirk "anything brother, i already had a lot of fun at him, just watch this" i say and look at Liam, who letted out a goofy laugh again oblivious we were talking about him "Liam, i want you to make a cup fart with your own hand, and then you'll smell it" i smirk waiting for it.
We see Liam reaching his hand to his butt, and after some seconds, he grunted squinting an eye and dropping out a huge bomb of a bassy fart on hid own hand palm.
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!
I burst into laughter while Noah still reacts to what just happened, dumbfounded "did he... did he just fart?" he asks, and to top things up, we then saw how Liam with that now eternal dumb expression in his face took his hand to his nose, and sniffed deeply, before laughing again, making me almost cry of how amusing this was for me.
"And that's not all, Liam, show Noah that trick i trained you to do" i command and Liam gets in action for his thing, first, i trained him to let out a loud burp with his hands cupped in his mouth, then he'd play as if he was juggling with it, he'd swallow the belch again, and when his stomach recieved the burped out gas again in his stomach...
BOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUURRRPPPP!!
...
PPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTT!!!
I chuckle and go to him to give him some well-deserved pats in the back "good boy, very funny Liam" i praise him with a huge smile.
"Bro, what are you waiting for? Just try and make him do something you always wanted him to, any manly stuff works" i say again and he looks at his son, reflecting.
"I admit i always wanted a son i could call a real man... Ok, but just for a bit! I dont want my son to always be this...somehow extremely gassy zombie thing" he says waving his hand, the gas must have hitted him by now "Goddamn, did you fed him something to make him this gassy or what?" he asks coughing.
"Nothing, just pure pill effect, and I know right, its so potent, i even had to open a window earlier, but we'll get used" i joke "also i wouldn't worry, i readed in the website the trance state isn't permanent, they give you a certain amount of time so you can "program the person" as your like, then they'll come back to normal again, just with the new antics and persona you implanted on him, Liam will now love to join us in our belch offs or our protein farts competitions in our boys nights during the matches huh?" i giggle
"Guess this can work" Noah said, finally putting just a small, very slighty smirk on his lips, while patting his son's back, eager to finally enjoy the company of a son that could make guy stuff with him.
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bomber-grl · 25 days ago
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Sal Fisher Fluff Alphabet!
Pairing(s): Sal Fisher x Gn!Reader
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Art Creds (going left to right) ~ @/pinetre3, @/mawny666, (couldn’t find, let me know if you do)
A - Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you)
It really depends on you tbh
Like if you’re an artist or musician-
If you have any talents or skills really, just something you’re passionate about
Then I definitely see that as something he’d adore about you
Especially if you’re constantly portraying such talents and draw him stuff, crochet him anything or give him some sort of trinket or gift relating to your skill
It’s either that or your constant willingness to help out with the paranormal
There aren’t many people who would and regardless if you do so with a face of bravery or cowardice, he’d still greatly appreciate it and admire you for it
A - Attention (how much attention do they want in the relationship?)
I’d assume about a good amount?? I mean you’re dating each other so it’s only natural 😭
You see eachother everyday too and most likely hang out in either of your apartment rooms/ houses
As much as I see him liking the attention I also think he’d like some solitude
Not that your attention doesn’t have him flustered and all giddy
Just something to consider I suppose
Plus he’d probably like to give you all the attention as you’re the center of his affections
B - Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)
His favorite part of your body would most likely be your hands
Not for their appearance but because of how often you’d comfort him with them
In school and in class you’d show little affections by intertwining your hands together
When that wasn’t possible you’d link pinkies
At home you used your hand to cradle his face when he revealed it to you-
And you often gently played with his hair with your hands
Now, if you told him you liked a body part of his because of the same reason: the acts of affection done through them, then he’d feel happy you felt the same
But if you also added that you thought this specific body part was hot or attractive then he’d definitely get flustered and laugh awkwardly 😭
Don’t even get him to talk after or he’d probably stutter a bit
B - Boo! (do they scare people? How do they act when scaring you/people?)
Honestly Sal probably gave a few people jump scares when he first started attending school
Half because his prosthetic was unexpected and also because I feel like he just has that energy when standing there 🧍
It was totally unintended too 😭
Poor Sal
Overall I don’t really see Sal as a scaring person type
He’d probably join in if you or Larry did but wouldn’t do much but stand by
If it was a bad idea he’d either lightly discourage it or not say anything and watch it happen
If he did manage to scare you for some reason then he’d feel bad
Especially since it was most likely not on purpose and was only cuz you opened the door and weren’t expecting anyone to be on the other side
B - Beauty (what do they admire about their s/o? what do they think is beautiful about them?)
Anything really
As I mentioned before it really depends on you and your personality traits/passions
If you’re particularly kind or often defend others then that’s something Sal would admire about you
As well as if you were unapologetically yourself, especially when around someone like Travis
Now when it comes to how he views your beauty it’s difficult to explain
The only way I can is when you’re looking at your friend and can’t help admire how beautiful they are
Maybe that’s just me 😭😅)
But that’s how he’d see you, there isn’t any particular traits but maybe it’s how you look when your thinking or doing what you love
Maybe how you look when the wind blows through your hair, or even when it’s cold out and your nose is visibly cold
Just little things like that
C - Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)
Sal doesn’t have much of a preference more often than not
I mean if you want to be big spoon and him little spoon he’s more than happy to cuddle that why and vice versa
Although I do imagine him liking to cuddle by mutual holding
He liked to be close to you and feels especially safe/warm when you’re really close to eachother this way
It’s nice to cuddle with him too, especially during winter although I do see Sal as one of those people that are cold so even if you’re one of them too-
You’re automatically his new heater
Whether you’re aware of it or not 😭
Sal would probably not be too fond of pda but I think it’s likely he’d huddle with you if it’s the colder months
D - Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)
Honestly his ideal date would probably just be the two of you hanging out somewhere, anywhere really
Like you two could just be hanging out in his room, order pizza and get snacks and that would be an ideal date in his mind
As long as he gets to spend time with you, really
If you’d rather do something else like go out shopping, go to an actual restaurant and stuff then he’s more than fine to go along
E - Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)
Sal is pretty open all around
He’s never been one to shy away from expressing how he feels or be overly self conscious about it
If something is bothering him or just stressing him out he’s likely to communicate that with you
Although he’s pretty open I’d imagine he might not let you know how he’s feeling all the time
Especially if you’re particularly stressed then he wouldn’t want to add onto that stress with something else to worry about: him
Honestly he’d probably realize pretty quickly by being snapped back to reality by you or another factor and realize he should just let you know how he feels
It’s just for the sake of good communication and not ruining your relationship
E - Equal (do they prefer to be more in control or laid-back in the relationship?)
It really depends on you, like many of the other prompts 😭
If you want to be more in control in the relationship then sals more than happy to let you be
Same if you’d want to be laid back
Honestly Sal would probably be more laid back regardless of how you are
As long as you’re both equals and communicate effectively the dynamic you two have isn’t really a concern
F - Future (What are their plans for the future? Do they see themselves getting married, having kids?)
Sal never really thought of marriage, kids or anything of the sort
School wise he only ever thought of graduating, never anything after
When you two start dating and getting closer he might think briefly of marriage but that’s as far as it goes
Anything that happens from then on is not because of his plans but the course of events that just happens to follow
If you two get married that’s something you both ended up deciding is best
F - Forgiving (If they had a fight with their partner(s), how would they apologize? Or would they be petty about it?)
Sal would probably need some space from the whole thing
He isn’t one to get upset or overly angry when arguing, at most it’s just a discussion without any heat
On his part at-least, it depends on you and how you handle it
Especially if you “try” to make him mad, it just makes him feel weirded out and want some space
If you’re upset about something he’ll just want you to communicate that with him
He’ll always listen, as long as you do too
So if he did something that hurt you he’d apologize, he wouldn’t be afraid too and he always will
But he’d appreciate that you do the same when you realize a mistake done on your part
G - Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)
Sal is always gifting you little things
Maybe little trinkets he finds or even some cool looking acorns or rocks
Though in his opinion these aren’t even gifts, just something small he does on his part
Gradually his gifts get actual “gifty” in his opinion and he starts giving you things you talk about
Obviously taking note of your likes and interests
If you’re a big gift giver then Sal is one to be appreciative but it might also be uncomfortable for him to accept
Not for any particular reason, just the closer you get and casual it is to gift each other stuff, will he be more accepting
G - Gratitude (how grateful are they to have you? what do they think your relationship is worth in comparison to other things in their life?)
Sal is honestly so grateful and him telling you that he loved you even as friends wasn’t uncommon
He’d always let you know how much you meant to him and still does, though telling you he loved you at the beginning of your relationship obviously meant something more
So he’d fluster and hesitate to say it
Because you’re likely one of his oldest friends since he moved to the apartments in the first place, he’ll likely see you as a huge part of his life
You helped out in more ways than he could’ve asked but I think that comparing what you have to anything else in his life is offensive to him in the sense that the amount he loves things are not on the same level as another
Take what you will from this, maybe it’s his weird way of saying that he loves you
Who knows
G - Gentle (how gentle are they? physically and emotionally)
Sal is literally the gentlest person known to man
He is so kind and attentive that it’s crazy, this of course causes him to somewhat neglect himself and his feelings but that’s a discussion for after this one.
He’ll always be there for you to listen, just make sure to communicate that you’re not in the best mood if you don’t feel like going to a Sal therapy session
Plus, it’s not like it’s all that one sided
We all know how much Sal has through in his life, mixed with the cult, losing his mom, murdering half the apartment residents, and so on so forth in his adult life
Obviously the nightmares that happen depend on what part of his life and your relationship it takes place in, but my point is that you’re there for him just as much as he is there for you
Physically too, at first you would’ve believed him if he told you he was afraid of shattering you
Going purely based off that fact that he acted as though you were glass
Highschool Sal was just that flustered by it and adult Sal isn’t that much different- just faux nonchalant
H - Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)
Highschool Sal is filled with immense nervous energy when you try to hold his hand
He isn’t opposed, don’t mistake it for him disliking it, if anything it’s the opposite
He’ll enjoy you trying to hold his hand at any time, even at school
Though depending on your identity and sexuality it might provoke some unseemly comments from the resident closeted gay Travis
Either way, the older you get the more Sal is happy to hold your hand
If you even want to swing your arm and along with that his, he’ll laugh and find it endearing
Might even play along too, you can always hold his hand
That much is obvious
H - Hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it, and what are they like?)
Sal loves hugs so much but ,again , the younger he is when you start dating the more stiff and unfamiliar he acts
Not that he always is, just that when these acts of affection are done in a romantic context only does he feel flustered
He will eventually be more comfortable, it inevitable. But, even if he’s more towards the awkward beginning stage of your relationship he’ll always hug you back.
Sal will always be open to hugs, he doesn’t really initiate it often because I don’t think that’s his love language
But he is always more than welcoming to affection that you want to give, so it’s more dependent on you
Whether you hug people often or not, that’s how often he will
Excluding you needing to be comforted and when you say goodbye, he always will hug you no exceptions
His hugs are like hugging a pole when you’re in front of others 😭
He’s not too fond of PDA because he’s hyper aware but when he’s not it’s honestly amazing
Especially since cuddling is mostly mutual holding and its just great
I - Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)
Sal would be so worried if you were to somehow be harmed and this varies on the state of your injury
Like if it’s just a cut on your hand or something he’ll likely give you a bandaid and do something silly as “kiss it better”
If your injury was more extreme like say a broken bone or an even more grotesque injury- he like anyone, would be concerned (understatement)
He’ll immediately try and help you any way and if this warranted a hospital visit or something then he’d try to be there for you
Because him not being able to do anything for you is inevitable, he would have to stand by and just wait- feeling useless
(Even though doing nothing and letting the professionals is helping you)
I- I love you (how fast would they say ‘i love you’?)
Sal would probably either tell you he loved you immediately or wait for the longest time
Let me explain
During Highschool, Sal is just new to romance and likely as told you that he loved you when you were friends
So, because of a slip up and because of how much affection he held for you, he accidentally slipped up and told you he loved you
You two were probably just chilling in his room hanging out like usual and after that is just pure silence
He slowly looks at you and then what happens next is dependent on how you react
If you tell him you also loved him, with an romantic undertone he’d flush but not argue because believe it or not
He also loves you
Now the next is him waiting a long time, well I lied
There is no world where he’d take a long ass time because he either blurts it out when you’re about to kiss or something, Larry teases him about it and tells you for him (on accident) or something else ensues
Either way if he tried to hold it in he’d probably burst from it
J - Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)
Yes yes and yes
Sal isn’t actively trying to pull pranks or harsh jokes
That’s just not how he is, but he will tease and shoot back a playful insult or two depending on you
If you’re the type to push people when you laugh or are just playful then he’ll always go along with it even if it isn’t how he is
Despite this, he occasionally has the mischievous urge to participate in a harmless prank here and there
Nothing more because that’s just not how he is, I really can’t say anything else
J - Jealousy (what makes them jealous? what are they like when they’re jealous?)
Honestly Sal is not really a jealous guy whatsoever
He’s secure in your relationship and is honestly pretty chill
As long as you tell him you’re only into him and only will be then that’s good enough for him
Honestly it’s sort of unnerving
I guess the only instance I can see it is when he’s new to the relationship, even then you guys were likely friends before so why wouldn’t he trust you?
K - Kisses (what are their kisses like? who kissed who first? where do they like to kiss you?how do they like to kiss you?)
Sal could either be the one to initiate your first kiss or not
Leaning to not just because of his hesitance to any affection done in a romantic context
Again, even then he’ll be more than happy to let you kiss him
He isn’t shy to let you know when or if he gets uncomfortable or if you’ve breached his boundaries
The first time you two kissed was likely back in high school
It was done after you two hung with a crowd of your friends and loved ones and finally got time to spend alone
Likely at a park or even in Sals room
You don’t know what possessed you to but maybe it was the already tension filled air that caused you to silently ask Sal before leaning in and kissing him
He’s honestly flushed from head to toe and just stares (?) at you afterwards because of how much he refuses to even test much less trust his voice
It was shocking to him since this was the few times he didn’t have his mask on (in room) and you probably only kissed his cheek with his mask still on
Sals kisses are usually on your cheek or forehead
It’s mostly because that’s a pretty tame and surface level of affection and most times it’s when you’re sleeping or resting on his lap
When you’re in public you hardly have any chance to actually kiss since he has his mask on, so as weird or silly it may seem he’ll let out a small laugh if you kiss him with it on
Mostly just goes with how you like to kiss too, otherwise small pecks on the lips and other places like your cheeks and forehead are for him.
L - Love (how do they show you they love you? What’s their love language?)
Sals love language is definitely somewhere between quality time, gift giving, and words of affirmation
Highschool was the only way you could actively be near each other and Sal loved having classes with you soley because he got to hang out with you
Even then, you guys often hang out outside of school (the whole paranormal cult thing) and by also just having been living in the apartments at the time
That continues even as adults
Also the reason why you ended up moving in with Sal because he wanted to desperately hang out with you but couldn’t because you were unable to due to jobs, higher education, etc
At least this way you’re able to see each other at the beginning and near the end of the day
Sals gifts and also somewhat can be considered acts of service has always been apparent
Even in high school where he’d love to give you little trinkets (as previously mentioned) and would also be more than happy to help you with things
Literally what is Sal doing if he’s not doing something for you to show you he loves you?
And words of affirmation? He’s always just complimenting you
If you’re into handy things like crocheting, art, any hobbies or skills that you have at all
- Sal is absolutely just complimenting you
Without a care too
It all just comes naturally to Sal so when you tell him how loved you feel by him, he doesn’t really get it but is happy regardless
M - Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
Lazy and chatty
You’re likely just lazing around in his bed with him and once you both wake up you just talk about whatever
Obviously how it goes is dependent on what you have to do for the day (any jobs or responsibilities) but because of Sals nightmares you two often start your mornings earlier than others
Even lazing around gets somewhat tiring and you two are just some rats scurrying around the house before dawn that Larry and Neil end up bringing up
All just to tease
N - Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)
None Sal has no bad traits-
self sacrificial when it comes to you
(Willing to elaborate)
O - Obvious (How obvious do they make it that they like you?)
SUPER OBVIOUS
Literally Sal would be blushing and stuttering around you when he likes you
Larry is always pushing Sal to talk to you and is always teasing him in a friendly and playful way
Not exactly in a covert way either
Ashley and Todd probably know too and so when you’re in class working in groups they’d probably also bring it up to you
Yknow- just in case Sals crush isn’t obvious enough
Make the first move please it’s slowly killing them and Sal
P - Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)
Pet names would strike Sal down
The cringe /pos and romantic aspect of it all would be too much
If you want to call him a pet name he’d be fine with it but he’s secretly screaming inside
Even as you two mature in your relationship he’d still be flustered by it but not as much as he was by the beginning
P - Patience (how easily do they get angry?)
He doesn’t get mad whatsoever
The most is getting mildly annoyed or inconvenienced, only when directed towards you
If someone else brings a sensitive topic up or insults you then that’s another thing
Even then he’s eerily calm
Q - Quiet (How are the calm, quiet moments with them?)
The calm, quiet moments with Sal are relaxing
There is no pressure to say anything nor is there any need to
Your presence each other is enough and because of that prolonged silence, usually you two stay that way
He will make sure you’re alright occasionally, depending if you seem thirsty or uncomfortable- just asking if you need anything basically
Otherwise, the need to speak is nonexistent
R - Rhythm (what songs reminds you of them?)
Idk why, don’t ask
Something About You - Eydress & Dent May
Christmas Kids - ROAR
Sweet - Cigarettes after Sex
Pretty Boy - Tv Girl
R - Romance (How romantic are they? What are their go-to ways of being romantic?
Sal isn’t romantic, in his opinion
It’s just how he naturally is towards you, which makes it even better
He’s always willing to do chores for you and gift you stuff
Little ways of showing affection
When he’s trying to actually be romantic he’s pretty nervous about it and his usual way of existence is amplified by like a million
He tries to buy you gifts, set up a fancy dinner, honestly anything that you personally enjoy
He just wants to make sure you feel loved
As long as you do then there’s no need to worry
S - Secrets (how open are they with you?)
He’s really open in the sense that he tells you stuff that he’s ready to share
And doesn’t with the information he’s not ready to
Not that’s he’s purposely hiding things from you
So no, he doesn’t have any secrets, just things about him that takes time for him to open up to you about
S - safe (What makes them feel safe and comfortable around you?)
Just the fact that you’re you
You’re his best friend and significant other
Why wouldn’t he feel comfortable and safe with you? Honestly if anything you’re the one of the few people that he genuinely feels calm around
Just from your presence alone
When he wakes up gasping from a nightmare you’re always there
When he’s feeling a bit on edge when going outside to throw the trash- you’re always there
It’s only natural that he begins to associate safety with you when you’re just always there when he’s feeling not his best
S - Security (how protective are they? how would they protect their s/o?)
He’s pretty protective
Not because he doesn’t think you’re capable of protecting or handling yourself
That’s not the reason at all
You’re his significant other and obviously someone he cares deeply about so it’s only natural he’d worry about you
If you weren’t previously involved with the cult or paranormal then he’d attempt to protect you by separating you from it
We all know it’s in vain
T - Time (how long did it take you to get together?)
Depends on you
It really really does
You two likely got to know each other in highschool and we all know how Sal was back then (romance wise)
So even if his crush on you was painfully obvious, it ultimately depended on you
So it could either be you two getting each other immediately or taking awhile
Have your pick
Please get together asap, it’ll be slowing eating at everyone alive
T - Tend (How do they act when you’re hurt or sick, and vice versa?)
He’d be really attentive
Not the best if he’s still a teen since the only times he can see you is by going to your living space
As an adult he significantly improves and would bring you water, cook, and just be there for anything you need
A bonus is that he thinks your still cute even if you look like shit
When he’s sick he doesn’t expect you to focus a lot on him
I mean Larry probably would drop in and bring him stuff like medicine if you didn’t so it wouldn’t be that serious
But if you’re constantly on top of stuff like doing his chores and keeping track of his personal and like social (school, job) stuff then he feels really happy (for the lack of a better word)
T - Tease (how do they tease you?)
He does it unknowingly
It’d probably be an attempt at flirting but end up just with him teasing you
Not that it’s a bad thing or anything because even then he doesn’t do it with bad intentions
Or with any intentions at all
U - Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)
He brings it up and asks you about it
If you prefer to be given space then he’d be happy to oblige
The same can be said for if you want to be held or bundled up together in his room
It really depends on you because he’s more than happy to respect your boundaries
U - Ugly (what are some bad habits of theirs?)
Can’t really think of any in particular, let me know if you can
V - Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)
Sal is proud of many things but not in a flaunty way
He’s pretty humble about his own accomplishments and the most he’d “flaunt” something he did would be just showing off the fact that he beat Larry’s high score on a game or something
Even then it’s only because of the playful and unserious nature of the situation
When it comes to you he’s not really one to show you off either
He’d be proud of you and everything you do
Especially if you have hobbies and skills that you’re passionate about
He just thinks that because your skill is so obvious, it’s only natural that everyone immediately knows
No point in showing off it it’s a well known fact
V - Vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)
Sal isn’t too concerned with his looks in the sense that looks are everything and he’s overly cautious of how he looks
He does like to look nice at least and achieves that on the minimum
Overall he doesn’t think about it much besides dressing how he wants to express himself
Otherwise I have nothing else to say
W - Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)
Because of the cult and paranormal, fighting becomes essential at one point and no longer a choice
Even if he felt like you shouldn’t fight, it wouldn’t matter once your faced with the horrors you need to overcome
Plus, he trusts you enough and knows that you’re well aware of your capabilities
Sal would both fight for you and beside you
He’ll always be there to protect you and seeing as you’re willing to fight the cult, then you’re also always there to protect him
Even then he’d worry for you, and you him
Which he for some reason is shocked by
W - Wild card (random relationship headcanon!)
Not liking Gizmo is a huge deal breaker
And not liking his friends or willing to be around them to some extent is one too
X - X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)
He’s able to read you eerily well
He’ll always be able to tell how you’re feeling and especially if you’re upset
Which helps him be his caring self and help you out
The same goes for him, he’s so obvious when he’s upset or feeling a negative emotion
It’s written all over his face and oddly silent self
He’s so oblivious to the fact that its obvious that he’s surprised that you notice 😭
X - XO (How do they show you affection? How much PDA are they willing to show?)
Sal shows you affection in the obvious ways
He hugs you, cuddles you, kisses you, etc etc
He isn’t one to shy away when giving you affection but he does get a bit flustered, that doesn’t deter him either way
When it comes to pda Sal isn’t exactly jumping at the opportunity to be making out 💀
He isn’t one of those people and most certainly doesn’t want to be that overly affectionate couple that’s outright gross
He will hug you and hold your hand but that’s really it
He feels a bit awkward otherwise 😭
When you guys were in highschool you’d hold pinkies rather than hands at most snd occasionally hug in public
Kissing was too much for Sal at the time
Y - Yearn (What do they do when they miss you?)
When Sal is missing you he spends a good amount of time looking at stuff you’ve given him (necklaces, drawings, etc)
If it’s easily accessible then he’d probably chill in your room for a good while before doing something else
Other than that it’s mostly in how he’s feeling
Especially if you’ve built a routine with him then he feels especially sad and misses you
Once you return from a trip or simple outing he’d let you know how he missed you
Z- Zzz (How do they act when they get sleepy? How is it sleeping in the same bed?)
When sals sleeping he can hold out on sleeping for awhile but then it’s lights out 💀
Don’t ask for anything more and he’ll just knock out if he’s especially tired
Most nights he’s not too tired when he decides to go to bed tho so the occurrence isn’t that often
When sleeping in the same bed as Sal he’s honestly a pretty good sleeper
Even in his sleep he’s considerate and you never have problems sharing blankets or space
The only time either of you would ever fall off would be if your own accords (in which Sal probably has)
I mean most times you’re cuddling so there’s no issues there, especially if it’s cold
The only problem is when it’s summer and it gets hot, otherwise sleeping with Sal is enjoyable.
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dorcas4meadowes · 10 months ago
Text
Love on a high - Luke Castellan
Pairing: Luke Castellan x fem!Reader
Warning: weed and kisses
Summary: smoking alone when an un requited love (you’re also oblivious ml) joins you
W/c: 1.5k
Master list
∘✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧∘✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧∘✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅
You were never fond of the high, but It was the quiet that you craved.
The serenity you yearned for at the end of a blunt rolled by a Demeter kid who owed you a favour. You were thankful to the small match box container – which held a few joints – it kept you at ease when you brother was at prominent distress or when you best friend was blissfully oblivious to your every advance to flaunt your affection towards him.
Your eyes fell shut as you took a long drag, holding the smoke in your chest until you could feel the soft buzz drift to your head, making everything appear blurred and sharp simultaneously.
You surveyed the water under your feet, each melt of the waves making your eyes follow new curvatures that were being generated.
The fish and the plants contently dancing to the rhythm of the tides pull.
You did not notice when the weed created a dim haze around you, but when the wind proceeded to whisper and the moon mumbled back, you became numb in its presence and within a few moments you were completely and utterly stoned.
"You shouldn't be out here".
You shouldn't be with me while I'm so amiable.
His voice was a mere breath against your skin. His tone lethargic in contrast to the melody which mused from your headphones. You were unaware of truth that his voice brought you, but when your gaze dimly caught his and you smiled.
"I doubt you should be lecturing me, you are out here too Luke". Your voice was soft, it routinely was with him.
"I have duties".
"And I have a recreational hobby".
He paused for a moment. "Which requires you to be outside this late?" he asked, his eyes lingering on your stained fingers.
"I enjoy the placidity", you quietly said, bringing the joint up to your lips to further dull your surroundings.
"I thought you stopped?"
"I tried". You were ashamed of your habit, mainly because Luke didn't indulge in it.
"Let me then". The enthusiasm in his tone confused you, your eyes following his every move as he perched close beside you, his prying fingers nearing yours. He had never once expressed his want for the flower, he were not interested in your soother, so his question caught you by surprise.
"Luke" you muttered, momentarily  forgetting his question.
"Yes".
"Oh Luke".
Your leer on him softened as you admired him, his features becoming a blur of endearment and simplicity. You had always known he was handsome, but in the dim shading of the moon and rippled reflections from the dark water you couldn't help, but study him, concentrate every lasting thought on him.
Your squinted a little, light playing through your lids as you appreciated the way your surroundings painted him, encapsulating him into nothing that could be defined other than pure charm.
He thawed against the blue around him gently, his eyes searching for something you could not quite answer, because all you were fascinated by was the pull of his brow, the line of his jaw and the way he adjusted against your indigo so tranquilly.
You were so intent on smoothing the ridge above his lip that when his hand brushed against your you startled, before sympathising to his original demand, passing the blunt to him. You observed him tug the joint towards his lips and almost instantly convulse as swiftly as his inhale were. 
A hum left you throat, "it takes time Luke, most good things do".
"How long did it take you?".
"Demeter's flowerings are always more - potent than usual and contributing a dejected childhood to the process and a prior tolerance, a few months".
He placed the joint in the small gap between you then spoke, "so how long till I start seeing leprechaun?"
"You have to hold your stuff, before anything happens", you said, distracted by chatter.
"And then after that?"
"It sort of just happens, like the moments before you fall aslee-", before you could continue your sentence you became preoccupied by a lull from the sky.
 "Hear the stars Luke?".
"Should i?" he asked, his voice filled with amusement, "what are they saying?”
You sat in a dropped silence, attempting to decipher their whispers, too conspicuous for you to repeat.
Your fates are spiralling Y/n, like a spider's web, too delicate to tear apart, one hushed.
Child of the sea, live up to your lineage, find the tide in his storm, another prodded.
We know how you feel, you feel too deeply to keep it to yourself, you're being selfish, tell him.
Further mutters echoed in your ears, sending thoughts through your stoned mind. You closed your eyes for privacy, but even then you could see him, you could trace his every fibre with your memory let alone, every contemplation consisting of him.
"They are being stupid" you finally replied, turning your head away from constellations.
"How so?" he questioned.
"They are saying - things".
"Can I know?"
You smiled and shook your head, "you can listen". You took the blunt between your fingers and relit the ends with a light.
"What are you thinking?" he asked, not dismissing your sudden notion.
"Can I show you?" you queried, the high in your body blinding you from reality.
When he tried to reply his voice caught in his throat, but three words escaped, three words which solidified you next move.
"I trust you".
You took a drag of the blunt and allowed the smoke to linger behind your closed mouth, attempting to retain it from traveling down your throat. He watched you every so intently, pondering your next move as you pressed your fingers into his jaw turning his face, so he had no other option than to meet your intrigued gaze.
Then you leant closer - nearer than you ever consciously allowed yourself to - his reflexes shattering as he too drifted closer to your warmth allowing your lips to brush against his ever so slightly as your diffused the bitter smoke into his mouth. You wouldn't have noticed the refined press if you weren't so vigilant, so when you when the smoke dispersed, you were unaware of what to do? Where to go? You couldn't ponder your decisions a mere few centimetres away from Luke's face, so you spoke.
"Better?"
He responded instantly, "do you trust me?", his words swift.
"What – I always what's the-".
You could not finish your sentence before a soft kiss was pressed to your lips, everything changing in a matter of moments. The sour tastes of weed stirred between both your parted mouths - which you invited pleasantly - allowing his hands to kneed the soft skin of you hip as yours found his curls.
Any form of life coming to a pause in declaration of this action.
His lips were as soft as they appeared, so when you separated you couldn't help but drag your thumb across his them, a small laugh falling from your mouth. You took a short breath and blinked, watching him reach out heedlessly to discover your hands - which he clasped in his own - bringing them upwards to brush his lips over your knuckles.
You allowed him to be close with no aversions - bathing in his presence - dazed a little at your distance since he had never made an effort to prove his fondness to you, it all felt surreal.
"I can hear the stars" he stated.
"Oh really?" you questioned, planting a mindless kiss to his lips.
"Mhm, they're saying you should meet me by the woods tomorrow at midnight".
"Hm, mine are saying we should take this back to your cabin".
"As much as I would love to do so, I would rather remember whatever would happen and besides the new kids sleep like a new borns". You rolled your eyes, "come on, let me walk you back to your cabin".
You accepted his help and stood, and knocked your blunt and lighter into the water -whispering a few words of flattery to which the tide would keep your belongings safe – and out of Percy's reach – placing a reassuring kiss onto Luke's cheek before lacing your fingers together once against to walk back to the warm sheets of your bed.
To an impercipient eye you were the epitome of adolescent affection, but amongst the brawny vegetation – across from where you sat - lay an observant spectator, one who often doted of Luke and yours growing devotion to one another and watched with poise, waiting for the inevitable misfortune.
"In the realm of profound sentiment, the pinnacle of love is its culmination to embrace tragedy".
Aphrodite uttered these words to her unbothered accomplice who sat at her side simply because the sun was far from its obligation to rise.
"Perhaps he may choose her" Apollo spoke, toying with his bow.                                           
"A boy cannot forsake a prophecy; the world will burn for her or it will blaze, because of her. Kronos has already whispered into the son of Hermes' ear, it is unescapable- his fate - but she, her's is undedicated".
"So you will watch their eventual decline?" Apollo asked.
"With decided scrutiny, where ever she proceeds allow her muse to inspire her steps".
"You're just glad amongst the uprising there's something cute to follow".
"Indeed and i will grant her every step with calamity".
∘✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧∘✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧∘✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅
Thanks for reading cuties <33
(In a Coriolanus and Luke chokehold rn)
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igotanidea · 4 months ago
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All figured out : Jason Todd x reader
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Summary: When duties and stuff get in the way of being close so bad he forgets your b-day... Or does he?
***
As of late they barely had time for each other. It was constantly his patrols, his wounds and bleeding, her work and headaches and everything in-between.
You know what they say after all, right? About the mundane everyday stuff killing more relationships than actual fights and heartbreaks. The case when you get so accustomed to being with each other that there’s nothing more to discover and the connection becomes simply boring.
And he didn’t want it.
She neither.
But what was to do when there was always something or someone.
What was to do when they both found themselves drifting apart, too focused on the duties and obligations and that constant train of thoughts, plans and internal anxiety they tried to suppress so hard there was barely any strength for anything else.
“Y/N.” 
“Hm?” She raised her head from the couch she dozed off while reading some notes for the upcoming work presentation. “Yeah? What’s wrong? How can I help?” Even in her half-hazy state with a post-it note stuck to her cheek, her first instinct was to sprung into action. And the fact that she missed his concerned face and affection beaming from his eyes did not go unnoticed.
“It’s your birthday today, baby…” Jason sighed, moving closer, crouching next to the couch to be somewhere close to her eye level and squeezing her hands.
“My birthday?” Her tone indicated that she barely recognized what day it was, let alone that the date was anything special “Really? I guess I forgot about that…”
“Y/N…”
“Hm?”
“I’m so sorry-“
“For what?” she tore the note from her cheek, finally meeting his eyes “Hey. Jason, baby. For what?”
“I forgot them too.”
“Well clearly not, if you’re the one reminding me.”
“I don’t have a gift for you.”
“You’re here, aren’t you?”
“It’s not enough.”
“It is enough for me.” She squeezed his hand reassuringly, “Because us talking for more than five minutes might be the first time in weeks.”
“I’m sorry-“
“Yeah, me too.” She sighed “this is not just on you Jace. You’re only half of this relationship.”
“Only?” he teased, familiar sparks showing in his eyes
“Oh, here’s that mischief I know you for.” She chuckled leaning her forehead on his in a vulnerable gesture “What happened to us Jay?”
“I don’t know. But I don’t like it.”
“You don’t say.”
“And that’s why I’m taking you out tonight.”
“Wait, what? What about the patrol? The missions? The-“ the stream of words coming out of her mouth was cut abruptly as he placed a finger on her lips. “Hey-hmph!”
“Don’t think just because I’ve barely heard your voice lately I’m just going to let you bubble, princess.”
“But-“
“Now, put on you prettiest dress and do not worry your sweet little head about anything else”
“But-“
“If you keep talking I’ll have to silence you in some other way and then we won’t leave this apartment at all. And I’ve already made plans-.”
“In the past thirty seconds?!”
“Yes. Now do you want to ruin my plans for tonight?” he pouted in a child-like manner causing her to let out an involuntary laugh before heading to the bathroom to get ready for whatever scheme he came up with.
***
“A club? Seriously?”
The look of confusion on her face as they pulled at the dancing spot was quite hurtful to him.
“I didn’t even know you could dance.”
“Ouch! Y/n!”
“What?!” she scoffed, “It’s your fault. You never showed that skill.”
“Well here’s a show for your entertainment. Go ahead and enjoy me, making a fool out of myself just to celebrate your bday.”
Jason grabbed her hand, sent a knowing look to the bouncer that just let them pass without any questions and dragged her inside.
“Wait… wait, what is going on here? You know the bouncer at the club? Jason? Jason?! The actual hell- ah!”
The lights went out, she felt his hand slipping from hers and for a second that felt like eternity she was completely alone in the dark.
“Y/N?!” his voice reached her ears though she had no idea where it was coming from and the slight panic started to creep inside. A feeling multiplied when she heard ruffling and some whispers of people who were closing in on her
“Jason?! Where are you!?” Y/N started spinning in the dark, searching for anything solid that would help her cover from whatever danger might be lurking in the dark. “ah!” Her wish became granted sooner than expected when she collided with something hard and out of sheer instinct started punching and hitting the surface.
“Hey! Hey, relax! Relax! It’s me! It’s me, princess.” Familiar touch of hands intensified on hers stopping her from fighting the person that was in fact her only salvation and protection. “It’s me, you’re safe” he pulled her closer, offering comfort and calm.
“What-what happened?” she stuttered “Why did the lights-“
“SURPRISE!”
Before she made her sentence the candles and lights garland got lit and she was greeted with friends and family members standing behind the lavishly set table with a birthday cake smiling and cheering.
“You asshole!” Y/N turned to Jason, resuming to punch and hit him, only that now she could see him and her movements were far more accurate and effective “I could have had a heart attack!”
“Stop it!” Jason laughed, pretending to be scared, grabbing her waist and spinning her in her air, before putting her down and kissing her passionately, not caring about the onlookers of their guests. “Happy birthday.” He muttered against her lips.
“You’re a jerk, you know it?” she responded in a whisper before grabbing the front of his shirt and kissing him again, not giving a shit who was looking likewise.
***
“You want to sneak out of here?”
After two hours of celebration, dancing, laughing and stuffing mouths with delicious food, Jason walked to her from behind offering a getaway from everyone. His warm breath followed by a gentle kiss on that soft spot between her neck and shoulder was supposed to convince her, but she was still mad about the trap he set for her.
“Mh. Dunno. You went to such a great length to bring me here and now you want me to leave?” She teased, though her tone was not matched by the action when she tilted head to give him more access to her skin and allowed his hands to wrap around her waist.
“Mhm. Yes. Exactly. Leave with me.” Jason muttered against her skin.
“You're scared you won’t find the way back home?” she smirked and the grip on her body tightened.
“Not If my home stays here….”
“Oh no!” Y/N’s joyful laughter filled the air “Cliché! And cheesy and –“
“You done?” he frowned, not liking the way she was mocking him while he was pouring his heart out.
“Nope. Don’t think so. I can go like this for hours.”
“Y/N—” he growled in a warning she was pushing him to the limits.
“But I suppose if I can do it here, I can also do it when we’re alone-“
“Oh so now you want to be alone with me only to mock me?”
“Mhm.” She grinned. “So what do you say, big boy? Shall we take a French leave?”
“And walk out silently?” Jason grinned and she did not like it at all. “Over my dead body. Again.”
Without warning he lifted her up in the air, and with the most commotion he could cause, carried her away, followed by the cried out wishes of happy birthday and all the best.
He was such a drama queen.
***
“That was fun.” She pointed out when they got back to their little flat
“Only a beginning princess. I haven’t really given you your present yet.” Jason made sure to lock the door, stepping closer to his girlfriend and immediately pulling her closer, caressing her back and kissing her neck.
“You think you know what I want, huh?” She giggled when his lips started to tickle her skin.
“Got you figured all over baby… Know all your soft spots.”
He descended to her collarbone, bending her backwards a little to make it easier. The position forced her to place hands on his shoulders for purchase.
“Are you saying I became so boring and predictable to you?” she teased not stopping him walking her backwards to the bed
“Boring?” he gave her a look over, before sliding her dress upwards, tracing over the exposed thigh “not at all.” Her dress hit the floor, removed overhead. “Predictable? Maybe…”
“Asshole…” soft sight left her lips before getting silenced by another passionate kiss.
“You know I know what you want…”
“Prove it.” Y/N did not waste a second sliding his shirt off too. Once done, she plopped on the bed, facing the ceiling and waiting for his move “Prove you really do know what I want.”
Jason smirked and laid on the bed next to her.
He knew.
He knew better than she wanted to give him credit for.
And that was exactly the reason why at the moment his fingers were running up and down her exposed belly, but never crossing the barrier of her white, innocent panties or bra.
The reason why he did not tear his and her underwear and surrender to passion.
An argument for not going straight into sex.
So many people were confusing intimacy with sex. Simplifying it. While the real connection went far beyond body-to-body contact and carnal pleasure.
Real intimacy did not mean being bare as in shedding the clothes, but exposing oneself emotionally.
And he knew.
They’ve been growing apart for so long and the best gift he could give her was his presence next to her.
Y/N smiled rolling on her side to look into his eyes, their bodies close but never really touching as if the exchanged looks and interlaced fingers were far more valuable.
“How do you like your present?” he smiled softly, playing with her fingers, voice filled with warmth and purest form of affection.
“You really did know.”
“Told you I got you figured. And it’s not really a bad thing now, is it?”
“No. No it’s not. And hey I just figured something –“
“Hm? And what may that sudden discovery be? You missed me perhaps? Or – “ he made a dramatic pause – “don’t tell me you got feelings for me! Ugh! Y/N! Disgusting!” 
She laughed.
“Feelings? No way! And how could you dare believe I might have missed your horrible attitude and character!? Are you trying to offend me?!”
“Always.”
“Perhaps I should also thank you for keeping me in check and making sure I don’t become conceited?”
“Happy birthday” he shrugged, pulling her to his chest ruffling her hair on purpose. “And don’t think I love you or something.” The last remark was followed by the kiss on her forehead.
“Me neither, Jason. Me neither-”
It seemed like they got each other figured out after all.
And maybe it was their way of healing and coming together once again.
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