#but again like for me the mindset is. my job is to Do My Best. which will be VERY UNIMPRESSIVE compared to what’s on the screen!!!!
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do you mind if i ask what the workout program you've referenced finishing and restarting is? i am looking to get into more of a routine and your program sounds cool!
i have been working out with caroline girvan’s stuff for almost two years now! her long programs all involve weights (i have a pair of adjustable dumbbells which are pricey but a good investment and don’t take THAT long to be cheaper than a gym membership) but she also has a playlist on her youtube channel of bodyweight workouts she’s put up. the program i’m (now re)doing is her epic heat series, which is all 30 minute workouts. fwiw when people on her subreddit ask where to start people usually say you can technically start anywhere because the workout is a guide you meet at the level of challenge appropriate for you (i am still years away from being able to match her for weights OR reps and there is the occasional move she programs that i straight up can’t do and i just switch or do my best even if it’s like… “do a 40 second push up” ok well i can do like an 8 second push up, lol. i also take a lot of mini mid-set breaks when i need them and also pause the video if i like REALLY need to catch my breath) the typical recommendation is (1) the ultimate beginner 6 week program on her app which is worth a month or two subscription if you’re new to strength training and you can swing it (i did this last year when it came out and it was really helpful both bc it’s slower than any of her other programs and builds up starting at 3x a week and bc it’s the only program where she talks you through the moves) (2) if not, iron because it’s slower paced than her others or her 24 day advent calendar because it’s got the shortest workout durations (that was the first one i ever did bc the app hadn’t launched yet and i really liked it even though the first full body day left me so sore i couldn’t walk for like 3 days and it took me much more than 24 days lol. i also redid the first couple workouts when i finished and it was cool to see that my body was already adjusting and a lot of stuff had gone from Am I Dying? to a mere Incredibly Fucking Hard, lmao). she has a 1-week program called beginner epic on youtube but it’s like, an intro to her style more than for true beginners. ofc i have no idea what your experience is i am just trying to be thorough and cover all my bases!!! lol
#askbox#her other 30 minute duration youtube programs are fuel and epic heat#fuel is her most cardio heavy and i did it and liked it but am not eager to repeat bc it is HAAAARD#the cardio gains were real tho and i’m quite sure heat would have been a lot tougher if i hadn’t done fuel first#switching from fuel to heat is like. oh this is similar except you’re not making me drop and do burpees every 3 minutes in every workout#also her hiit days are CRAZY and a lot of people skip them but i like them and again you will notice cardio gains over time#(barring abnormal medical circumstances)#but again like for me the mindset is. my job is to Do My Best. which will be VERY UNIMPRESSIVE compared to what’s on the screen!!!!#do my floppy ungraceful slow ass lightweight version of a person i sometimes suspect of being an android
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i literally have completionist brain but for real life and like. not a fun way for me to play games Definitely not a fun way for me to live irl
#bc in games like. skyrim or what have you i do nottt play them right ik there isnt a right way to play them#but i do every single quest and i pick the options thtall give me the best rewards etc and it just isnt very fun. and rhe point is that its#a role playing game so i should roleplay and if i want to see what happens if i pick the other options i just Make anew save instead of#reloading over and over again. and yet#and its not fun in the sims bc j literally judt force them to max their skills get highest level in their careers complete theiraspirations#and then im just like. ok. and it ends up making my sims games so samey and not fun bc ill Make sims thatr different from eachother but#well. 1. sims 4 sims do not act different from eachother Lmao you Can pick different traits but the most u get is moodlets and maybe 2-5#dialogue options. not that much... vs like skms 3 where each trait could change up a sim a lot#butttt whatever. anyways...#but yeah irl im like Noooo i cant just do this 1 good job bc there are all these other jobs i also need to do i cant pick one major i have#to do all of them i cant Not be able to romance this person !! but real life isnt a video game and that mindset fucking sucks for videogame#anyway... like i like completing a game but i wish i didnt let it ruin games 4 me#bc it rly does i never finish games anymore bc i stress myself out over 100% it...#and i make too many spreadsheets abt them. but i love spreadsheets :[[[[#i should go back to sdv again.. and return to an old save thats another thing#ill obsess iver a game to the point i burn out completely and stop playing and then ill get the urge to play again#but i start a new save and inevitably burn out again and its like ! the devil
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Hey dude. It's me - anon with that SAGAU!kid!reader idea. Well, I was thinking about Liyue or Sumeru men (I'm that kind of person, that's into guys LOL). If there is a relationship, then only platonic one (or maybe father-child in Zhongli's case).
So I will try to go with Zhongli, Baizhu, Alhaitham and Cyno (probably Gaming, cuz he's like a son to me) That's it for now Hope I didn't ask for much tho 😅
CONNECTED TO THIS IDEA!
Aye aye, Anon! God!Child! Reader Platonic Meets Ups It is!
Also plz note that I might not be able to list every Sumeru/Liyue man there is in Genshin bc Im doing this at the top of my head—
Sumeru And Liyuen Men (And Gaming) With The God Child.
(Warning: Might be OOC!)
Cyno
The General Mahamatra may not exactly be well-versed when it comes to comforting words (except his puns—and even then, many people would say otherwise), but Cyno is a sincere man. You can trust that he will stick to his word.
And he does, when he promised to look after the Almighty Creator who is a child (not unlike Nahida, but they certainly have more of a mindset of a child—). But was he expecting your chaotic behavior (explosives Klee Style)? Yeah...No.
Bro nearly thought you were held at gunpoint or tricked/manipulated into doing it until he realized you did on your own.
"...Your Grace...Please don't blow up the store again." So instead of protecting you from harm by others, Cyno is more focused on protecting others from harm by you. As much as he doesn't like to think of it that way, you were a lot more dangerous than any eremite or sand monster there was out there.
At least he's still doing his job, being the General Mahamatra! You gift him a flower crown, and he has to take it or else. :)
Tighnari
Since he works with many young forest rangers, and tutors Collei, Tighnari is probably used to dealing with children. Dealing with the Almighty Creator certainly wasn't going to be an issue under this Forest Watcher's eyes.
That was...until you blew up a rishboland tiger. By yourself. On your own. Without getting hurt.
He was not the only freaking out, mind you. Collei was losing it, and Tighnari? He's internally screaming and getting metaphorical heart attacks.
"Your Grace, what were you thinking, running off like that? I know you're strong and you want to protect everyone, but you can really hurt the environment and—" He tries his best to hold back his sassiness while he scolds you, considering some children are much more emotional than others.
He sets up some basic rules for you to follow to make sure that you respect the Avidya Rainforest grounds, but also protect yourself from any form of harm.
Bro becomes a helicopter parent while you're under his care. Have fun, and I hope you enjoy mushrooms. Collei will cook you something else if you don't like what Tighnari cooks, though. :)
Kaveh
This man. He will BUILD you toys. He will DRAW you stories. He may even tell you stories himself.
Mehrak is your best friend when you're around Kaveh. And that man tries his best to make sure your time with him is good. He also refrains from drinking, which is nice! He's improving a little! :D
Absolutely gets worried if you run off without him knowing or if you're hiding from him for too long while playing hide and seek. He goes into an utter MELTDOWN.
And if you blow something up? Boy, if you thought Tighnari getting metaphorical heart attacks was bad, think again—Kaveh might actually get a heart attack.
"Your Grace! What—What were you thinking? Where were you? What did you do? Why did I hear an explosion?!" He's trying to keep himself as calm as possible, but Kaveh is an emotional man. He's kind of failing—
Luckily, with your go-lucky attitude, you pull Kaveh around and take his mind off of work and your explosions! Win-win! :D
Al-haitham
The moment Nahida assigned him the task of taking care of the Almighty Creator, who is a child, bro is planning his things carefully. He is safe-keeping his books, he's renovating Kaveh's bedroom (bc yes), he's buying a few colouring books and crayons.
What he caught him by surprise was not how trusting you were to new strangers you barely knew. It was how you had fun with explosions and exploding everything in your path.
You can imagine as you're being carried away by the Scribe, he's giving you a one-sentence scolding.
"Your Grace, don't ever do that again, it's not nice." He would go into further detail, but he's sure you wouldn't care all that much about data and analysis and stuff like that, so he just ends it as it is.
You're still gonna do it, there's no doubt. It's just now Al-haitham is preparing for your next incoming attack as well.
Zhongli
Grandpa gramps is here woohoo! He's probably the most calmest out of everyone on this request list LOL. You can imagine he's following you calmly, apologizing and paying (through Childe's money cough) for the damages you caused.
Believe it or not, but it was Hu Tao who found you first and decided to take you to Mr. Zhongli for babysitting. He contemplates how the Director found you and brought you back.
The first time you explode something, he is definitely surprised. And concerned of the people who got hurt. You can't fault him for being worried for the mortals that were involved—Liyue Harbor is basically his child. Bro's been governing it for thousands of years.
"Your Grace, Little One, let's try not to put strain in the efforts of an adult's day-to-day life." He scolds you, and will definitely be more keen on your whereabouts, but he does this in a gentle tone. At the very least, you give him something to do that doesn't require him to present himself as the supposedly "deceased" Geo Archon.
Baizhu
With the guy's health issues...it's hard to say if he'll be able to keep up with you and your constant outings all around Liyue Harbor. Changsheng is definitely worried about Baizhu's stress levels as he has to figure out what you did this time and make sure no one was harmed.
He constantly has to ask Qiqi to go find you since he literally cannot keep up with your speed, lest he actually faints or something. You were that quick.
Luckily, if he hears of your whereabouts, he will definitely arrive just in time to apologize and give free check-ups to everyone involved in your explosion party.
"Now, Your Grace, please refrain from hurting others. It's not good to hurt someone's health." You can certainly expect Baizhu to give you a scolding—as well as a basic understanding of medical care in case either you or someone else will need it, and he can't make it there in time.
Like Kaeya (And Tighnari in this post), Baizhu will definitely write you some rules in a notebook and makes you recite them at least twice a day so that you remember not to hurt other people or damage your own health.
He is a doctor for a reason. It's his job to look out for others—even chaotic children with explosives.
Gaming
HAVE NO FEAR, GAMING IS HERE!
Bro is basically your Big Brother who does cool dances and gives you snacks and protects you. Since he's a real foody, you'll definitely know which places are the best to buy snacks!
You find his Wushou Dancing cool as well. He takes pride in it tbh. I mean, who wouldn't be ecstatic if the Almighty Creator loves it?
He does get a bit panic-y when he sees you blow things up, though. As much as he wants to pursue Wushou Dancing as his daily career, he still needs his job as a Shipment Guard.
"Y/N! No! Don't blow that up—!" Yes, he took you out once to travel with the shipment goods for one time, and he's never taken you with him again unless you promise not to blow anything that are near the goods.
He usually leaves you in Liyue Harbor when he's making these Shipment trips, but once he returns, you can certainly count on him to give you some tasty snack or a fulfilling dinner, as well as a free small Wushou Dance.
Big Brother Gaming does not disappoint!
Ghost Rebel Side Notes: I AM VERY DEAD. I AM SO SORRY SOBBING. Life hits you hard and fast sometimes sigh. I've been so busy I haven't been posting much—but rest assured, I have quite a lot of posts for you guys very soon!
✦ Check out The Ghost Rebel’s Blog Description & Info Page to See if Their Mailbox is Open! ✦
#genshin impact sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin self aware#sagau x reader#sagau#sagau genshin#yandere sagau#genshin cult au#sagau brainrot#sagau cult au#genshin imact#sagau alhaitham#sagau zhongli#sagau baizhu#sagau cyno#sagau gaming#platonic genshin x reader#platonic genshin impact#platonic relationships#sagau tighnari#sagau kaveh
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How about the girlies with a druid tav who acts like the animal they often shift to like a cat just finding random places to laze around or sleep yk 'if it fits I sits'. Birb collecting shiny things, dog tilting their head and being easily distracted. Tav in human form acting like a cat is just giving the best vibes. Tav seeing a random open box and just sitting in it then dozing off has me rolling haha
omg i literally love this so much !!
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Karlach:
The sun was high in the sky, casting warm light over the rolling fields where you and Karlach had been spending the afternoon training. It was supposed to be a routine day—tracking drills, sparring, a bit of scouting. But as a druid, your way of training often involved shifting into different animals to make the most of your natural abilities. Today, you had taken on the form of a bloodhound, your favorite for hunting down tracks and practicing your scenting skills.
Karlach, as usual, had been more than eager to spar and train alongside you. Her energy was contagious, her fiery spirit burning bright even during something as mundane as drills. But you had noticed something about Karlach—something playful in the way she interacted with you when you were in your animal form. Especially when you shifted back to your human shape.
You had just finished running down the scent of some game you’d picked up in the forest, nose to the ground, tail wagging. The moment you caught the trail, you raced ahead, your paws thudding against the dirt, and found the spot where the animal had passed. Karlach whistled, grinning from ear to ear as you skidded to a halt.
"That's my girl! Good job!" she called, her voice full of praise. "Come back here."
You shifted back to your human form, still breathless from the sprint, your chest heaving as you wiped the dirt from your hands. But as you approached Karlach, you felt that familiar tug of something instinctual still lingering in you. Your ears twitched, even though they were no longer dog ears, and you couldn’t shake the desire to return to her with your find, as if you were still that bloodhound.
Karlach noticed, of course. She always did.
"That was pretty good!" she said, tossing a ball she’d pulled from her pack up in the air, catching it effortlessly. “But I think you need a little more speed. Let’s do a quick sprint drill.”
You eyed the ball warily, the scent of leather filling your nostrils. The sight of it made your heart race in a way that had little to do with training and more to do with the part of your mind that was still stuck in that canine mindset. Karlach had this knowing smile on her lips, but you didn’t quite catch on at first.
She wound up her arm and launched the ball into the distance. Instinct took over. Without thinking, you bolted after it, your legs moving in a blur as you sprinted across the field. The wind rushed through your hair, and for a split second, you felt completely free. You skidded to a stop as you snatched the ball up, holding it proudly before sprinting back to Karlach.
“Nice job!” Karlach beamed at you, her voice full of laughter. “You’re getting faster.”
You handed her the ball, not quite realizing yet what she was doing. Her hand brushed yours as she took it, and for a moment, you caught the warmth in her eyes, the playful spark. She tossed the ball into the air again, casually, as if thinking out loud.
"How about we try that again? Just one more for good measure."
Without hesitation, she threw it again, and again, you were off. Your mind was half-aware now, starting to piece together what was happening. But the thrill of the chase, the simple joy of it, was intoxicating. You snatched up the ball and raced back, your chest burning but your heart still pounding with excitement.
By the third time, you caught the ball and paused, panting heavily, staring at it in your hands. Slowly, you looked back at Karlach, who was standing there, arms crossed, grinning wide as if she had just won a secret game. The realization hit you all at once.
This wasn’t a "training drill." This was fetch.
You blinked, incredulous, before narrowing your eyes at Karlach, who had the audacity to chuckle when she saw the look on your face.
“Oh,” you muttered, still catching your breath. “You think you’re clever, don’t you?”
Karlach held up her hands, mock-innocent. "What? I’m just making sure you’re quick on your feet!"
You could see through her little ruse now. All the signs were there—the way she had been egging you on, the suspiciously casual way she had pulled out the ball, the grin she wore every time you returned to her.
With a low growl, you dropped the ball and launched yourself at her, tackling her to the ground. Karlach let out a playful yelp, laughing as she hit the grass beneath you. Her arms came up to wrap around you as you pinned her, your weight pressing her into the earth.
“Oh, I messed up, didn’t I?” she laughed, eyes twinkling with mischief as she grinned up at you.
“Training drills, huh?” you huffed, still out of breath, but unable to hold back your smile. “You were playing fetch with me.”
Karlach grinned even wider, not even trying to deny it now.
“Well, you’re such a good girl! How could I resist?” She winked at you, clearly delighted with her antics and you shoved down the emotions that bubbled up inside you when she called you a good girl.
You shook your head, feeling the laughter rise up despite yourself. “You’re impossible, you know that?”
Karlach’s hands slid up to your sides, her touch warm and steady, grounding you in the moment. “Impossible, maybe. But you love me for it, don’t you?”
You couldn’t argue with that. Despite the teasing, despite her antics, there was something about Karlach that always made you feel more alive, more yourself—whether you were in human form or as a bloodhound.
Leaning down, you pressed your forehead to hers, your breath mingling with hers as you smiled softly.
“Maybe I do,” you murmured. “But don’t think you’re getting away with this again.”
Karlach let out a laugh, her arms tightening around you. “We’ll see about that. But admit it—you had fun.”
You couldn’t deny that either. The joy of the chase, the thrill of the sprint—it was fun. But what made it better was Karlach. Always Karlach. With a playful growl, you kissed her, capturing her laughter in your lips as you held her close.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Minthara:
The night was calm, the crackle of the campfire filling the stillness with a warm, steady rhythm. Minthara sat by the fire, her eyes focused intently on the battle plans laid out before her. The parchment was covered in precise markings and strategies, illuminated by the flickering flames. She was in her element—methodical, calculating, and completely engrossed in her work.
You, however, were feeling something entirely different.
After a long day of scouting and sneaking around in your feline form, you had shifted back to your usual self, but not without retaining some of those lingering feline tendencies. It happened sometimes. The fluidity of movement, the heightened senses, and, occasionally, the overwhelming desire for comfort in the least convenient of places.
Minthara looked quite comfortable where she sat, perched on a smooth boulder with her legs crossed, completely absorbed in her work. The fire roaring in front of her. There wasn’t much room in her lap, not really—but it was a lap, and the cat in you wanted nothing more than to curl up in it.
You moved closer, silently at first, hoping to sneak in without interrupting her. The firelight cast soft shadows across your face as you neared her, and for a brief moment, Minthara didn’t seem to notice your approach. But, of course, she did. Her sharp instincts wouldn’t allow anything less.
Out of the corner of her eye, she caught your movement and immediately frowned. “
No,” she said firmly, her eyes narrowing. “There’s no room.”
You didn’t stop.
Minthara’s frown deepened as she returned her gaze to the battle plans, clearly trying to refocus. “I said no.”
But you ignored her again, your instincts driving you to keep moving closer. You could fit. You would fit.
She looked up once more, this time with more insistence. “I am not some cushion for you to lounge upon. This is important.”
But her words fell on deaf ears as you finally reached her, carefully navigating your way into her lap, despite the lack of space. It was a bit of a squeeze, admittedly, but you were determined. You wriggled and shifted, moving from side to side, adjusting until you could curl up just right.
Minthara let out a long, exasperated sigh. “You are utterly insufferable.”
You simply gave her a satisfied hum in response, continuing to squirm until you found the perfect position. Once you were nestled comfortably, you settled against her, your head resting on her chest, your body snug against her armor. There. Perfect.
Minthara, despite her earlier protests, didn’t push you away. Her free hand, the one not holding the battle plans, instinctively moved to your hair, her fingers sliding through it gently, as though she had resigned herself to this fate.
“I don’t know why I tolerate this,” she muttered under her breath, her voice laced with begrudging affection.
You practically purred in response, a soft sound of contentment escaping your lips as you closed your eyes, feeling the warmth of her body against yours. Minthara’s fingers continued to comb through your hair, slow and deliberate, almost absentminded as she shifted her attention back to her plans.
Despite her stern exterior, you knew there was a tenderness in her that she seldom showed to anyone. A softness that only you seemed to coax out of her, even in moments like this, when she was focused on her duties.
As the fire crackled in front of you both and the night settled in, you felt yourself drifting in and out of a peaceful haze. You could hear Minthara muttering to herself occasionally as she examined her plans, her fingers still tangled in your hair. It was a quiet, intimate moment, one where her sharpness met your playfulness and somehow balanced into something that felt just right.
“Next time,” Minthara said softly, her voice barely above a whisper, “there will be no sitting in my lap when I am working.”
You smiled lazily, your eyes half-closed.
“Of course,” you murmured, though both of you knew that the next time would be no different.
Minthara shook her head, but there was a ghost of a smile on her lips as she continued her work, her hand never leaving your hair.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Lae'zel:
You shifted back into your human form, the familiar sensation of bones and feathers returning to skin and flesh. The transformation left you momentarily dizzy, but you quickly regained your balance, shaking off the brief disorientation. Being a bird for hours, scouting the surrounding area, had become second nature to you, and with that form came certain habits you hadn’t entirely shaken off.
Your eyes immediately darted down to your hand, a grin forming as you revealed your latest prize—a small, glinting object that had caught your eye during your flight. It was a silver buckle, not entirely dissimilar to the dozens of other trinkets you had already found, but its smooth surface and the way the light reflected off it made it irresistible. Without a second thought, you strode towards Lae'zel, who was sharpening her sword by the fire, her usual sharp gaze focused on her weapon.
"Look what I found!" you said, holding the shiny buckle out towards her with an eager smile.
Lae’zel barely looked up at first, her frown deepening as if she already knew what was coming. She glanced at the buckle, her amber eyes narrowing slightly.
"And what use is that?" she asked, her voice carrying the usual bite of impatience.
You shrugged playfully, still holding the trinket towards her. "It’s shiny."
Lae'zel huffed, setting her sword down and turning her full attention to you. She snatched the buckle from your hand, inspecting it briefly before tossing it aside into one of her pouches—likely the one she had reserved for your growing collection of 'useless junk.'
"You bring me these worthless baubles as if I have any need for them," she grumbled, though her tone was softer than usual. "If you cannot bring me something useful, I will throw it all away. Understand?"
You nodded, though you both knew that wasn't entirely true. Lae'zel had been saying that for weeks now, but each time, she would tuck the shiny objects away, muttering about how she would discard them later. Yet, every time you checked, the pouches were still full, brimming with an odd assortment of things—coins, polished stones, broken arrowheads, bits of metal.
You didn’t need her to admit it, but there was something almost endearing about her reluctance to actually throw them away.
"Well, sometimes I bring useful things," you teased, reaching into your bag and pulling out a dagger you had found during one of your scouting trips. "See? This one is sharp."
Lae'zel raised an eyebrow, clearly more impressed by the weapon. She examined it closely, turning the blade over in her hand before giving a small, approving nod.
"This," she said, "is acceptable. You should bring more things like this."
You smirked, enjoying her small display of approval. "I can't help it," you said, settling down beside her. "The shiny things just call to me."
"Like a bird," she muttered, not unkindly, her eyes flicking back to you with a look of mild exasperation. "You shift into a bird for hours, and then you return with nonsense. It is as if you have forgotten what it means to be grounded."
You chuckled, leaning your head against her shoulder. "Maybe I have. But I like bringing you things, even if you say they’re nonsense."
Lae'zel didn't respond right away. Instead, she resumed sharpening her sword, though her movements were slower, more deliberate. You could feel the warmth of her beside you, the steadiness of her presence calming the lingering excitement from your flight.
After a long moment, she sighed. "Next time, bring something I can use in battle. Not… a bottle cap."
"I’ll try," you promised, though you knew full well you’d likely still come back with another useless trinket alongside the weapons or arrows. Lae'zel paused, glancing at you again, her gaze softer this time.
"I do not understand your fascination with these things," she admitted quietly, "but you are… persistent. And though I do not need them, I will… keep them, for now."
A smile tugged at your lips, and you nudged her playfully. "You like them."
Lae'zel scoffed, but there was no real venom behind it. "Do not test me, druid. I tolerate this foolishness for now."
You chuckled, knowing full well she wouldn’t actually throw them away. The pouches full of shiny objects—your small, odd gifts—were still there, and deep down, you suspected that despite her words, she found some strange comfort in them. They were part of you, and for all her talk of battle and strength, Lae’zel had a softer side, one that you had slowly but surely started to uncover.
As she resumed sharpening her sword, you leaned back against her, your fingers grazing the edge of the pouch where your collection of trinkets now rested. For a moment, the two of you sat there in silence, the crackle of the fire and the steady rhythm of Lae'zel's movements the only sounds in the camp.
"I'll bring you something even shinier next time," you whispered mischievously.
Lae'zel just sighed, shaking her head, though you could see the faintest hint of a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "Whatever, love."
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Shadowheart:
Shadowheart sat by the campfire, meticulously polishing her armor after a long day of travel and battle. Her face, illuminated by the flickering flames, was calm but focused, eyes narrowed in concentration as she worked. The quiet hum of the evening surrounded her, broken only by the soft rustle of leaves in the breeze and the distant chirping of crickets.
You, on the other hand, were still feeling the residual energy from your last shift. In the heat of battle, you had taken the form of a serpent, slithering through the chaos with lethal precision. The thrill of it still hummed in your veins, and even though you had shifted back into your human form, the snake-like tendencies lingered—just as they always did.
As you approached Shadowheart, her back turned to you, you couldn’t help the sly smile that crept across your face. There was something about the way she sat there, so focused, so collected, that made you want to unravel her composure, even if just a little.
Without a word, you came up behind her and slowly, deliberately, wrapped your arms around her shoulders, your body pressing close to hers. Shadowheart’s hands froze for a moment, her grip tightening on the armor she was polishing.
“Again?” she sighed, her tone a mix of exasperation and amusement. “Can’t you ever just approach like a normal person?”
But even as she spoke, there was no resistance in her posture. She knew what was coming.
You smirked, leaning in to press your cheek against hers. “Where’s the fun in that?”
With slow, fluid movements, you let your arms snake around her, mimicking the way your serpent form would coil around its prey. You squeezed her lightly, not hard enough to hurt but firm enough that she felt the pressure, locking her against you. It was an old habit now—this need to wrap yourself around her, to feel her close, like you did in your more serpentine moments.
Shadowheart let out a small, breathy laugh, her head tilting slightly as she glanced at you out of the corner of her eye.
“You know, I have things to do,” she said, though there was no real edge to her words.
You gave a mock pout, squeezing her a little tighter, your arms locking her in place. “Do you have to? I think you’re perfectly fine right here.”
She rolled her eyes but didn’t try to pull away. “I can’t very well get anything done when you do this,” she pointed out, her voice light but teasing. “And you’re forgetting something important.”
“Oh?” you asked, shifting slightly so that your arms tightened around her waist. “What might that be?”
Her hand came up to rest over yours, giving a gentle tug as she turned her head to look at you more fully.
“That I need to breathe,” she said, a playful smirk tugging at her lips. You blinked, pretending to act surprised.
“Breathing is important, I suppose,” you said, though you didn’t loosen your grip right away. Instead, you leaned in closer, your nose brushing against her neck as you spoke in a low, teasing tone. “But you do look quite lovely all tangled up like this.”
Shadowheart sighed, her tone feigning annoyance but laced with affection. “You’re impossible.”
She shifted beneath your grip, trying to regain some semblance of mobility, but you held her fast, your arms curling around her even tighter. You loved the feel of her warmth beneath your touch, the way she would sigh and lean into you even as she protested. It was a need, a craving to feel her close, to wrap yourself around her like the serpent you so often became, your body and mind still echoing the instincts of your wild shape.
But Shadowheart, as always, was sharp. She gave your hand another squeeze, this time more pointed.
“Come on,” she whispered, her voice dropping lower as she leaned her head back slightly against your shoulder. “I really do have work to finish.”
You groaned playfully, loosening your grip just a little but still keeping her close. “Can’t it wait? Just for a little while?”
Her smile softened at that, and she turned her head so that her lips brushed against your cheek, a brief but tender gesture. “Only if you promise not to squeeze me so tight next time. I like having my ribs intact.”
You chuckled, finally loosening your hold enough for her to breathe more easily. “Fine. But only because you asked nicely.”
Shadowheart stood, brushing off her armor and shaking her head in mock frustration. She gathered her things, though you noticed she still lingered near you, her gaze flickering to you every so often as if she, too, was reluctant to fully pull away.
As she started to move back to her tasks, she paused, looking at you over her shoulder. “You’ll stay out of trouble while I finish up, won’t you?”
You grinned, leaning back against the tree and stretching your arms behind your head. “No promises.”
She gave you a knowing smile, her eyes twinkling with a mix of affection and amusement.
“Just try not to coil around me again while I’m working,” she said with a wink. “I’d like to get through one night without being squeezed to death.”
You laughed, watching her walk away before calling out, “We’ll see about that.”
You knew you’d coil yourself around her again before the night was over. But for now, you let her have her moment of peace—because no matter how much you wanted to keep her close, you knew that, with Shadowheart, there was always a perfect balance between the wild and the calm.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Jaheria:
Jaheira had grown used to your peculiar habits, though that didn't mean they never surprised her. As a druid, shifting into various animal forms was second nature to you, and you often took on the traits of whatever creature you had most recently embodied. Jaheira had seen it all—your quick reflexes, your uncanny ability to sneak around like a shadow, and most curiously, your newfound obsession with small, confined spaces.
The first time she found you curled up inside a box at camp, she hadn’t known whether to be amused or exasperated. The box in question had once held supplies, and you had somehow managed to squeeze yourself into it, sound asleep. Your knees were tucked to your chest, and your arms wrapped around your legs, looking exactly like a cat napping in the most inconvenient place. Jaheira had stood there for a long moment, arms crossed, staring down at you with raised eyebrows.
“Out of all the places to sleep,” she muttered to herself. “A box?”
Of course, being the practical woman she was, Jaheira didn’t disturb you. Instead, she quietly found a blanket and draped it over your curled-up form, shaking her head with a mixture of fondness and bemusement before leaving you to your nap.
But that wasn’t the last time she’d catch you doing something like that.
One morning, just as dawn began to break over the horizon, Jaheira woke to find herself alone in bed—at least, at first glance. She reached out instinctively, expecting to find you beside her, but her hand landed on the cool, empty sheets instead. A frown tugged at her lips, her mind still hazy with sleep. She shifted slightly, about to sit up when something stopped her—a soft, warm pressure against her pillow.
Turning her head slowly, Jaheira blinked in surprise.
There you were, sprawled across your pillow, your head resting precariously close to hers, face just inches away. You weren’t lying normally like any rational person might; no, you had positioned yourself on top of your pillow, your limbs draped lazily over her side of the bed. Your face was nestled right next to her pillow, and your breathing was soft and rhythmic, your body completely relaxed in the strange position you'd chosen.
Jaheira sighed, a gentle smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she watched you. It was as though you had forgotten, once again, that you were no longer in the form of a cat. The way you stretched yourself out so carelessly, how you claimed the bed without a second thought, reminded her of how cats could make themselves comfortable anywhere, no matter how strange or inconvenient the location.
She couldn't help but chuckle quietly to herself. The sight of you like this—peaceful, unguarded—warmed her heart. Jaheira, for all her gruffness and practical nature, had always had a soft spot for the more unusual aspects of your personality. Even when you frustrated her with your odd tendencies, there was something endearing about the way you embraced them so fully.
Careful not to disturb you, Jaheira shifted onto her side, propping herself up on one elbow as she studied your sleeping face. Your hair was a little mussed, and your lips parted ever so slightly as you slept. She had to admit, there was something calming about seeing you so at ease, even if your choice of sleeping position left much to be desired.
Jaheira reached out, her fingers brushing lightly against your cheek. The warmth of your skin beneath her touch made her smile again. She thought about waking you—after all, it wasn’t exactly comfortable for her with you sprawled out this way—but as she watched you, she found she didn’t have the heart to disturb your slumber.
Instead, she leaned in slightly, her lips brushing against your forehead in a soft, fleeting kiss.
"You strange, strange creature," she whispered affectionately, her voice low and amused.
As if sensing her presence, you stirred slightly, your brow furrowing in your sleep. You let out a soft, barely audible sound—a sleepy sigh—before nuzzling your face deeper into the pillow, your body shifting closer to hers. Jaheira chuckled again, shaking her head at your feline-like persistence.
She adjusted herself slightly, carefully shifting her pillow so there was a bit more room for her. Then, with a quiet sigh, she settled back down, allowing herself to drift closer to you. As inconvenient as your habits could be, Jaheira had grown to love these moments of closeness—the quiet intimacy that came from simply being near you, even when you were completely unaware.
The warmth of your body, the gentle rise and fall of your chest as you slept, brought her a sense of comfort she hadn’t known she needed. And though she would never admit it, she liked these moments more than she let on.
"Sleep well, kitten," she murmured with a smirk, before letting sleep take her once more.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Guys even as I wrote this my cat was trying to sit on my laptop, if you ever see a typo or spelling mistake, know that it was my cat having her input. Hope you guys enjoyed this !! - Seluney xox
If you want to support me in other ways | Help keep this moonmaiden caffeinated x
#bg3#baldurs gate 3#bg3 tav#baldurs gate tav#karlach#baldurs gate iii#minthara baenre#minthara x reader#baldurs gate minthara#minthara bg3#minthara x tav#minthara#karlach x tav#baldurs gate karlach#karlach x reader#karlach cliffgate#karlach imagines#lae'zel#bg3 lae'zel#lae'zel bg3#lae'zel x tav#lae'zel baldur's gate 3#shadowheart x tav#shadowheart x reader#shadowheart#bg3 imagines#jaheira bg3#jaheira x reader#jaheira x tav#jaheira
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becoming selfish is the best thing i ever did.
✧*. * · ~ thewizardliz 💖🕯
youtube
💖 stop going into arguments with people who are not willing to listen. it is completely useless. if your boundaries were crossed, and the other person is not willing to say "im sorry for doing that, i won't do it again", then conversation over. its done. its not worth your time or energy.
🕯prioritise your own needs and wants. fill your own cup! are you okay? are you whole? if you don't want to do something, dont do it. whatever you want, comes first.
💖 stop being always available and trying to save everyone. if you keep on being there for people- again and again and again, you are letting people use you. people will only reach out to you if they have problems or they need help. but what about when everything is going good? then what? do they come to you? you are showing them that they can always come to you and you will always be there but that shouldn't be the case. be able to say "i dont want to listen to your problems today. i have enough of my own problems and goals to worry about." the only reason they come is because YOU allow them to come.
you ask yourself why does anyone not make sure i am ok? thats because YOU do not make sure you're okay. remember that you cannot save everyone. IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO SAVE EVERYONE.
🕯sometimes god gives you situations so you can grow. also if you are constantly trying to step in for God to help and save everyone, you may also be sabotaging God's plan. people give certain problems/ situations in their life because God gives it to them so they can grow wiser and better! why are you trying to save them? its not your responsibility.
💖 be okay with people misunderstanding you. if you have a goal or a dream in your life, NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO UNDERSTAND YOU. people come from different households, religions, schools, etc. they will not understand you or have the same mindset/ heart as you. be OKAY with people not understanding you. they are not you.
"oh why did they hurt me/ treat me like that, i would never do that to them" honey, they're not you. they don't have the same personality or heart as you. if you're constantly gonna go through life thinking that everyone has the same heart as you, you will be hurt. i have done that so often thinking that i'm a good friend to them so they will do the same back, its not always true. you will be hurt. people are just different. and thats okay! let them be.
🕯realise that you can only change yourself. stop trying to change people. they will not change unless they are willing to. our human nature is comfort- humans love comfort. in order to change, it takes going through discomfort. it takes strength. some people are completely oblivious to themselves- they think that everything is perfect and nothing is wrong with them, etc. and yk what? let them be. you cannot change them. but you can change yourself. and if you do not want to change, you're not going to change. no one can force you to change unless you want to. by trying to change others and help them become their best version, you're wasting your energy to become YOUR best version and to create your dream life!
💖 stop needing people to validate your self worth. "i dont need anyone to tell me how good i am. i dont need anyone to tell me how beautiful i am or smart i am. because i see those qualities in myself already." KNOW who you are. if you get a compliment, say thankyou, be grateful. but don't crave it. be okay with not receiving it and not needing it because you already know that you're all that. if you need that compliment or words from other people, then they are basically in charge of you because their opinion can change your reality entirely and shake you. when YOU are the one that always creates your own reality! be strong in your ownself otherwise you'll be like their little puppet. know that you know what? im amazing. i've been through so much stuff in life but i'm still coming out strong and i'm still standing.
🕯treat yourself as your own best friend. talk to yourself! in her video, liz said that she talks to herself before bed and tells herself about her day. (for that i recommend videoing yourself! its so much fun) or when she's stressed she says to herself why are you feeling stressed? what exactly are you feeling? and then she tells herself and talks to herself. BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND. hype yourself up in your mind! comfort yourself, have a conversation, etc. give the advice to yourself. go on dates with yourself, hug yourself, love yourself.
💖 less chasing, more attracting. being feminine basically means letting it flow and go. being calm and at peace. being relaxed because you know that you attract all your blessings. when you're not desperately looking for things, or chasing after things, then your whole. your energy is whole. when the energy of desperation is gone, then you can attract everything you want into your life.
🕯only add great people to your life. make sure that whoever you date, are friends with, hang around- they need to add value to your life. its not only in terms of money, its also in terms of are you making me happy? are you reciprocating my energy? people that are always negative or always complaining, do not allow them into your life. do not be friends with people who are being miserable then complain about being miserable but don't do anything about it.
💖 stop seeking other people's permission to do whats best for you. you don't need someone to say "you can do it!" because you know you can. be independent- liz doesn't need to ask anyone for money because she is already making her own money. she is doing everything for herself. she has everything she need to support herself and people she loves.
like how cocky are you to think that you know be better than i know myself? lol. you have not been through what i have been through. you have not lived my life and yet you're here deciding whats good for me and what i should be doing? um, no thanks! xoxo.
#agirlwithglam🎀✨#thewizardliz#becoming selfish#it girl#thewizardliz mindset#thewizardliz aesthetic#it girl energy#self improvement#becoming that girl#girlboss#self love#self development#itgirlsm#dream girl#confidence#confidence tips#self worth#self growth#loving yourself#dream life#level up journey#it girl mentality#vanilla self improvement⭐️#self validation#it girl advice#up levelling#wongunism#becoming her#glow up#that girl
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Greetings again
i was wondering how deep you got into the Fallout show and if so what do you think of it so far? since im a bit mixed, mostly due to me being a FNV fan and just weirded out by some decisions in the show, but what do you think, also how Cass would react to this new Ghoul, also wanted your opinion on Raul
Hey there! I’m actually a big Fallout NV fan myself and, tbh, I was very skeptical of the series when I first heard that it was in development. Video game adaptions don’t have the best track record and initial shots had a lot of people making speculations about sneak peeks we were given like Lucy visiting a town that some people thought looked like Megaton. I went into watching the show without any expectations and was pleasantly surprised at how faithfully they had tried to make it - it’s good for people who aren’t familiar to Fallout but also had enough nods that give us long-time fans a treat. I’ve had a couple friends say they were sharing the show with their parents and grandparents, which I think is pretty neat!
I think so long as you keep the mindset that this is its own thing. The last episode exceeded my expectations and I’m looking forward to the next season but I get it might not be everyone’s cup of tea. Still, I do think that the showrunners did do a good job of constructing something that feels like it would belong in the universe.
Raul was my buddy in NV and I loved his story arc. We find him pretty self deprecating and suffering from survivors guilt when we find him in Black Mountain. Getting him to open up about it and take on the vaquero outfit I felt was really rewarding. Probably the companion I traveled the most with besides Boone.
Also, I think Cooper would, in typical Cooper fashion, would definitely make a big impression for sure…
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𝐖𝐎𝐍’𝐓 𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐄 !
𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 @/𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘬𝘰𝘭𝘺𝘢 ’𝘴 𝘥𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳 𝘈𝘜 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘕𝘪𝘬𝘰𝘭𝘢𝘪 !! 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘤𝘬 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺’𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳 <3
@doukeshi-kun
cw : no smut just yet , MDNI still , slight implications of future dark content , reader is an adult in early 20s while nikolai is older , fem reader
A young rising star actress, gaining more and more popularity within each film you star in.
That was you.
And unfortunately for you, you had a very big director with his eyes glued to every move you make. Nikolai Gogol was a very prominent actor and director, he’s been in the business for a long time and he’s good at it. Almost too good.
There’s a lot of mysteries, rumors, more surrounding the man in general despite him being there for so long. Not much is known about his personal life or how he started to rise up. Most of the public just knew that he started off as a child actor.
There’s almost an aura of weariness that people get around him, but his charismatic and mischievous nature keeps pulling them back in for more despite their gut. When he walks, the people shifts and the mood becomes a tide dependent on him due to the air he brings. He knows how to perform and then perform, even when he’s not on the job.
It was only natural that he gained interest in a new star, he was a director after all. That was what most people told you. But there was just something off about him to you, though you never had an actual full conversation with the man besides…
-
“Haha, isn’t it my lucky day! An amazing actress with more amazing work, lovely meeting you.” The man stood before you, giving a small grin before shaking your hand. You’d smile back at him, shaking his hand too.
“Pleasure to meet you Gogol.” You said, your voice firm but sounding polite and friendly. He was a very attractive man, that you couldn’t deny. He was tall, he had pale skin, and pretty white, fluffy hair that was tied in its usual braid. His eyes were something that were easy to get lost into, a green that’s rich like emerald and a shade of a blue that paints the sky.
Not to mention, the scar that sits on top with a nicely put together outfit. The red tint of his lips made a nice contrast and you couldn’t help but feel a slight dread to hear him speak again for some reason.
“Oh please dear, do call me Nikolai. No need for last names.” He reassures, the smile on his face grew wider, letting out a small chuckle. You felt your chest tighten. Did everyone feel so off when talking to him?
“Director!”
“Ah, I have to get going. I’ll see you around yeah darl?”
“Of course.”
-
And that was the last you’ve talked to him. It was a while ago, back at an event for god knows what. You’d been to too many for your liking. You still remember the moments where he was glancing at you ever so subtly.
But now your team came to you with an opportunity, an opportunity to act with him.
-
“It’s a really good chance for you to really get out there. Gogol is one of the best, he’s directing and acting and! He’ll be a great guidance.” Your manager told you, you nodded your head but pursed your lips into a thin line in thought.
“I don’t know…” You sighed, bouncing your knee while you sat.
“You’re already gaining a lot of popularity, a boost wouldn’t hurt. You’ve got great skills and a good mindset. You mind if I ask why you’re hesitating?”
‘Because he’s off! There’s something off about him!’
“Guess I’m just… a little intimidated is all. Don’t get me wrong, I know this is pretty rare for newbies to get invited into such a huge project by someone like him. But I just—”
“He’s been one of your supporters since the start, it’s a good thing he’s interested in you. I get it, it might be overwhelming but that’s just how the industry is. —With that being said, it’s still ultimately your choice.”
You bit your inner cheek. It would be rude to decline an offer from a big shot like him, especially when he’s been supporting your work you figured. And it doesn’t hurt to be curious about him too, only way to figure out more about him is…
“Let him know I accept then.”
‘We’ll see how this goes.’
-
The past few days working with Nikolai, your co-stars, and staff have all went well so far. Your manager was right, so far at least. You were still somewhat skeptical. He was great at guiding people in the right direction. Not only was he easy to talk to but he was friendly, very friendly.
Almost a little too friendly to you, but you shrugged it off. It must because you’re still somewhat new to the acting scene. You still weren’t sure how to feel.
“Hey darl, how’s my favorite star holding up?” Nikolai’s cheery voice snapped you out of your thoughts, his hand placed on the low of your back. You didn’t think much of it and you smiled at him politely.
“A bit tired but nothing I can’t handle. I’m excited to run upcoming scenes.” You told him, eating a strawberry that they had out on the food table for lunch. You managed to grab a few before they ran out. Your manager always told you it wasn’t good to act with completely empty stomach. He let out a small chuckled, nodding his head.
“Yes, yes! I’m glad you’re having fun dear.” He grinned, but then his eyes trailed to your lips. “Are the strawberries sweet?” He asked, keeping the cheerful expression on his face.
“Yeah, they’re sweeter than I expected. I really like these.” You responded genuinely, grabbing another one.
“Let me have a taste.” He said, leaning down and eating the strawberry from your hand to his mouth. You were surprised, not expecting him to do something like that so casually.
‘He smells sweet.’
‘….And his hands are really nice.’
You looked at him still with a surprised expression, letting out a small laugh when you saw his focused face on tasting the the strawberry. You were aware he was probably doing this to make you feel more comfortable and light hearted. At least that’s what you thought to make of his actions.
‘Wait, did I just say he smells sweet? In my head?’
“Yes—”
“Huh?” You cut him off, snapping out of your head. Worried that you had said your thoughts out loud, you turn your face to his more directly. He raises a brow at you, an amused look on his face.
“I was about to say, yes you are right. They are pretty sweet but it looks like you have something on your mind honey.” He tells you, nothing ever goes unnoticed by him.
“O-Oh! It’s nothing, sorry I was just thinking about something random.” You try to explain, there’s no way you’re going to explain what you thought about him to him. That was weird. He’s weird… okay but maybe you’re weird too for thinking that of him-
“You always look so tense around me darling, you always have something on your mind don’t you?” He chuckles. “Dim your worried thoughts pretty thing. I’m not gonna bite you.”
…Okay yeah he is weird.
But for some reason, your cheeks feel like they were growing warmer.
“Unless you want me too.”
You didn’t quite catch what he said that moment, so now it was your turn to look at him a little amused snd confused.
“What was that?”
“Oh nothing nothing dear!” He rubs the inner of your wrist quickly with his thumb, standing back up straight and patting you on the back. He let out a small light hearted laugh. “Oh you’re so cute. Relax okay? This is your first time working with a huge director isn’t it? —Ah maybe that sounds too arrogant of me. I’m just rather familiar with the position is all.”
“Y-Yeah it is, you know just wanna do my best.” You stammer a bit, nodding your head in agreement.
“You’re already doing so good for me sweetheart, you’re gonna be just fine.” He reassures you, he was a little too good at eye contact. “Actually, you know what? Say, are you free after the shoot?”
You blink.
Where did this come from? What did he plan to do? Why was he asking? You had to come up with an answer. Quick. There wasn’t any time to think-
“Uh, you know I think I am? I don’t usually have anything planned after shoots.”
‘Fuck. What was that?’
You internally started cursing at yourself. You initially planned to deny, a thing your gut was screaming at you to do. But you couldn’t think right when he looked at you. It almost seemed sly in the way he smirked.
“How about this? After this shoot is done, go home and get dressed. Come over to my place for dinner yeah darl? I’ll give you some advice, I would just tell you now but we have to run the next scene in about 30? And I don’t wanna stay at the studio much longer after. What do you say?” He asks, tilting his head ever so slightly.
‘There’s no backing out now..’
“Sure, that sounds good to me.” You gave him a sheepish smile. A grin was too swift to grow on his face before relaxing into a casual smile. He reached for his phone, it was different from the usual phone he uses. It must’ve been a personal phone. You figured you should grab your own too.
“Here you go.” He says, handing you his phone and swapping with you. You both take a few moments to put in your numbers and for some reason, you feel as if you’ve greatly messed up. You both swapped the phones back. “There’s my number, give me a call before you’re on your way dear.”
“Okay, I will. Thank you.” You told him, now somewhat nervous to look up at him again.
“Gogol! Makeup touch ups!” A staff called out for him, your makeup artist was also probably looking for you.
“I’ll be seeing you later.” He winks at you, walking away. You let out a small laugh, nervous. You finished the strawberry off quickly, tossing it into the trash before walking off to find your makeup artist.
This is too weird.
dividers : @/cafekitsune
#. . . words of the crimson moon —✫・゜・。.#bsd smut#bsd x reader#nikolai smut#nikolai x reader#nikolai gogol smut#nikolai gogol x reader#fem reader
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CALL OUT MY NAME ♛
(Book #2 of the Hellfire Gentlemen's Club Series)
CEO!bachelor!steve × fem!college grad!reader
𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐀𝐔 • 18+ | BOOK #1 (e.m.)
Chapter 002: Long Live the King
Isabelle is nowhere to be found. Meanwhile at the club, you gather up the courage to buy a Handsome Stranger a drink.
↳ 001 (PROLOGUE) // 002 // 003 // 004 // 005 // 006 // 007 EPILOGUE
CW: slight age gap (steve is 31, sweets is 23) , homoerotic steddie workout scene (just guys bein dudes) 😵💫🚨 drinking, smoking, gambling, drugs mentioned, shy girl makes one (1) unaliving joke, weight discussed briefly, this chapter contains scene/POV splits, each chapter will have its own warnings
card suits divider by @cafekitsune 🃏🧡
a/n: the hargroves own 'rock you like hurricane', do not try to change my mind.
“SHUT UP & PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS.”
word count: 5.6k words
♛
12:03 PM - Sweets and Isabelle
“There he goes again,” Isabelle sighs. “Long Live the King…”
It’s the sixth Elvis impersonator you’ve seen so far. Further down the strip of Old Vegas there was Jailhouse Rock Elvis, Unchained Melody Elvis, Elvis-If-You-Tried-To-Draw-Him-By-Memory, and Donuts-On-The-Toilet Elvis.
“I feel like I’ve seen every variant of The King possible,” you remark. “All that’s missing now is ShowGirl Elvis or Stripper Elvis.”
The statement alone piques your curiosity while you and Isabelle continue to walk. Suddenly, you find yourself asking your BFF a very interesting question.
“Would you ever wanna be a stripper?”
Isabelle stiffens abruptly.
It’s a pause you’ve never seen before in your life. But given that Isabelle has been an extreme empath for as long as you’ve known her, women in sex work may be a very sensitive topic.
“No,” Elle says to you, flatly. “They go through entirely too much.”
It’s the response you expected. It’s very easy for Isabelle to put herself in other people’s shoes — or heels in this sense. Even easier if they’re women at the hands of a man who holds a fair amount of power over them. It’s no wonder it seems triggering.
“It’s an admirable job though,” she manages to add. “Strippers don’t get enough credit. If I had a stripper in my life I would treat her like a queen.”
“Well, you'll have the chance to tonight," you smirk. "Given where we're going..."
Tonight you two are headed to Jackpot Gentlemen's Club, a strip joint on the outskirts of Vegas right outside Winchester.
It's more of a business endeavor than anything. The plan is to support all the beautiful dancers, all while promoting Isabelle's lingerie line, Bright & Belle.
For as long as you've known Isabelle, she's always been money-driven.
But in the best way. After divorcing from her ex-husband — Eddie, you believe his name was — Isabelle had been hyper-fixated on the hustle. And after seeing that ‘Girl-Boss’ mindset of hers flourish throughout the years, you wanted to be there for her in anyway you can.
What you haven't told Isabelle though, is that you wanted to feel sexy too. You’ve been deficient in Vitamin A(ttention) as of late, and a non-committal hook up in a "What Happens Here, Stays Here" type city sounded pretty enticing. A graduation reward and all.
"When was the last time you got laid?" Isabelle abruptly pries.
Piggybacking off your thoughts. How on-brand for the two of you.
You mask your thoughts further with a scoff of annoyance.
"Elle."
"Don't Elle me," she bumps you with her hip. "When was the last time you got a proper dicking down? Like really."
"I'm celibate," you lie snarkily.
"Oh come on!" she groans. "I know that's a lie. You know that's a lie. I mean, have you read the room? We are in Vegas."
You indeed have read the room. But that was besides the point. Isabelle has been so focused on creating a better life for herself, and she's done so much for you as well that you felt as if your presence at all times was mandated.
"I just don't wanna be all lovey-dovey in your face," you shamefully admit. "Especially since you're still healing from your own losses with love. Given your divorce from Eddie and all."
Isabelle rolls her eyes.
"Oh you mean the divorce that happened four years ago?!" she demands. "Almost five now, I think. Just because you're more likely to have a night to be celebrated and adored as a goddess, doesn't mean any of that is taken away from me."
You smile sheepishly at the floor, hooking your arms with Isabelle's as you two continue on your walk.
"Besides, I'm much older than you," she points out. "I've had my glory days. Now it's time for you to be selfish. Enjoy the rest of your 20s. What other place to do it than Vegas?"
She flashes a charming grin your way. "And I've got your back through and through."
"I love you," you beam at Isabelle tear-eyed. "You're the sister I never had."
“I love you too," she coos. "More than anything in the world. I'd be your non-biological sister in every lifetime if I could."
You two take a moment to fully admire each other, doing your little handshake you came up with when you met her in the early years of college, to honor your established sisterhood.
You and Isabelle against the world. No matter what.
Afterwards, Isabelle wraps you up in her arms as you two walk.
"Onwards, sweetheart. Let's go find you a King of your own.”
“I WANNA SEE YOU WORK OUT FOR ME. WORK OUT FOR ME.”
12:03 PM - Steve and Eddie
“Mmmh…fuck…shit.”
The room echoes with Steve’s strained grunts as sweat pools at his forehead.
It’s the workout of his life. But of course anyone would feel that way, running solely on coffee and a single scoop of creatine, right at peak lunchtime.
“Shit,” The King pants. "Don’t know how much left I got in me, Eds."
His pumps? Weaker. His reps? Gradually more incomplete. And with enough intensity to draw blood, Steve bites his lower lip in concentration, the grunting inevitably summoning Eddie over to his struggling friend.
The rugged metalhead leaps from the bar he was doing pull-ups from and strides towards the retired jock.
“You can handle it, Big Boy.”
Situating himself over Steve, Eddie floats his chalky palms over The King’s protruding chest, feet shoulder width apart and ready to spot.
“I…UGH— I…can’t!”
“Quit whining. I know you can.”
“I CAN’T! It’s too much…m literally shaking, Eds.”
“If you aren’t shaking you’re not doing it right,” Eddie Munson smirks. “Finish for me, Stevie, let’s go.”
The bulk of Steve’s arms relax and contract as The King pushes upwards, face scrunching in euphoric agony with every pump.
SLAM! CLINK!
Eddie's quick to swoop down to the base of the machine with one hand, reach extending to Steve with the other. Meanwhile Steve scrunches himself upwards, leaning forward on the bench as he wipes his forehead that was dripping with sweat. He's tapped out.
"You okay?" Eddie asks.
“Yeah..." Steve pants as he collects himself. "Yeah. I am. Thanks."
Steve takes a moment to look at himself in the high-rise glass mirror.
Naturally the arms come into sight first. There's a foreign roundness to them, and an undeniable softening of Steve's chest that the girls at Hellfire call "broad and beefy", but he can only categorize it as "fluffy". His gaze then dips down to his tummy, an avenue once firm and washboard-like now presenting with a soft, undeniable curve. No abs. Just flesh... a sobering manifestation of what too many nights of dry gin and "The Eddie Special": Spice Level Unforgiven can do to a guy. And while others might call it a “Certified Dad Bod,” Steve never found the compliment flattering. It just reminds him—he's getting older. Living on borrowed time.
"Holy shit," Steve breaks the silence. "I need to lay off the margaritas.”
“Well now isn’t the time to do it!” Eddie exclaims, clearly doing pirouettes on the opposite side of the pendulum. "Have you read the room? We're in Vegas, baby! We need to be excretion-less, out, and ready to party by tonight!"
Finding it nearly impossible to match his energy levels, Steve studies ‘Sweaty Eddie’ as he downs his water, the protrusion of his razor-burnt Adam’s Apple bobbing with every large gulp, the B.O. radiating off his hairy armpits being enough to wipe out the entire state of Nevada with just one brisk movement.
“Man, how did you manage to get married before me?” Steve huffs. “Twice!”
Eddie laughs, keeping the water contained in his mouth with a swipe of his fingers.
“Was that supposed to be a dig?”
“Well you weren’t exactly hot shit in high school.”
“There’s your answer then," Eddie clicks his tongue as-a-matter-of-factly. He does a boisterous dance around his burnt-out buddy. "Ladies love the freaks.”
Eddie studies Steve as he continues to ponder in a tone-deaf abyss.
“That's another thing I've been meaning to talk to you about," Eddie emphasizes. "We’ve gotta get you out of that high school mindset, dude."
Steve looks up again. "Huh?"
Eddie shakes his head. “It's beginning to look like you peaked when you were 18..." He takes a minute to playfully check him out. "Which obviously isn't the truth. But operating from that headspace is what’s stopping you from getting a good lay. I guarantee you."
"That or I just don't have rizz..." Steve grimaces. "Or whatever Dustin always says."
Eddie grimaces with him. He really wished Steve would quit saying that. Or anything from Dustin's vocab bank for the matter. "Yeah. Right. Let's keep that shit a Dustin thing."
He sets his water bottle down.
"Alright Harrington, here's the plan," Eds scoffs. "Tonight we'll put on our best Gatsy cosplays, get some drinks to loosen ya up, and then meander around Jackpot so you can talk up some babes. Work on the confidence...w-"
"Yeah, I think I'll pass," Steve shrugs. "I've got some emails I gotta reply to anyway."
“Oh come on. Think of all the honeys you’ll attract post-pump!” Eddie incentivizes. “Look at them ARMS, baby. Them ARMS!"
Eddie issues himself a seat next to Steve. Steve allows him the space, but doesn't appear to be sold on the plans Eddie had for tonight.
"Look, I'm sorry the girl of your dreams ended up with my bartender," Eddie begins. "And that I unintentionally stole your other dream girl when you guys began hitting it off pretty well... and that her best friend that you were madly in love with ended up being a lesbian and you didn't find out until after the two platonic outings. And that..."
"Are you trying to make me feel like absolute dog shit?"
"No, I'm turning this into an inspirational Ted Talk if you'd let me," Eddie scorns. "Fact of the matter is, Hawkins? Is Lover's Lake. WE..."
Eddie points in the opposite direction, south of The Strip.
"...have arrived at Treasure Island, baby! Lots of fish in the sea. Lots of beautiful women looking to have a good time. You can't make any progress in the same environment that drained you. You gotta lean into new beginnings. And maybe that means finding love in a city outside your comfort zone."
"Yeah, yeah. Just cuz I spawned into a new city doesn't guarantee complete past erasure," Steve mutters. "13 years later, but I'm still that same asshole ASB kid who gave others a hard time for validation. Maybe that's my karma. Maybe I don't deserve love."
"That's where you're wrong," Eddie snaps. "You ARE deserving of love."
It is that moment the two friends' eyes meet. It hurts Eddie to see Steve self-sabotage himself. He was so excited to come to Vegas with him and Shy Girl. Imposter Syndrome will ruthlessly make someone their bitch if they let it. Not today, though. Not under Eddie's watch.
"Your life is just beginning, Steve," Eddie emphasizes. "It pains me to see that you haven't seen your full potential yet. And just because this gentleman got his happy ending... doesn't mean there isn't one for you out there."
"Why do I always run?" Steve sighs. "Why do I always run away from good opportunities knowing full well I deserve to be happy too?"
"Because you're so used to rejection," Eddie snorts. "Believe me. Takes one to know one. You'll miss out on a lot of opportunity doing that. Which is something I'm not gonna let you do. For as long as you're under my wing."
The two friends then share an affectionate, and sweaty, hug. It took a lot of hashing out for these two to get to this point. They weren't exactly the best of friends in high school. But over time, when life reared its ugly head and all they had left was each other, the two gentlemen realized they were more alike than they thought. And that was a whole 'nother avenue of self-love they had to discover; and of course they did it side by side. Steve and Eddie forever.
“Whew, let’s go!” Steve whistles, getting out of his feelings for real this time. “We earned ourselves a Fat Tuesday!”
“Now we’re talkin’!” Eddie smirks. “Can't wait to hit the clubs and find you a hottie.”
"HERE I AM! ROCKED YOU LIKE A HURRICANE."
12:30 PM - Shy Girl and Nina
"If I can't find anything to wear, I'm gonna kill myself."
Shy Girl and Nina are found anxiously strutting around Fashion Show Mall, attempting to find some cute lingerie sets before their guest performances tonight.
"Bold of you to say for someone who looks good in everything," Nina scoffs.
The club they're performing at tonight is called Jackpot, a strip joint in the outskirts of Vegas right outside Winchester. It's no Hellfire, but the name of the game remains constant: CAPITALIZE OFF OF MEN'S DESIRES.
"I need something dramatic and sexy,” Shy Girl prowls. “Something Vegas has never seen before. Something to make me stand out for the tips. Something that screams... here I am."
"We can check Victoria's..." Nina suggests.
"Tried that. Eddie pretty much bought me every set from there."
"How about Love Loft on the second floor?"
"Their sets fit me weird. And I would like their wires to hold my titties up. Not puncture my lungs, thank you very much."
Spoiled with every piece of lingerie she could ever ask for, Shy Girl still had nothing to wear tonight.
It's expected coming from a dancer who has worn and done it all. Having rocked the city of Hawkins like a hurricane straight out of California, Shy Girl was just aching for some action elsewhere. And in light of her friend Steve's booming business over the past couple of years — and in celebration of her husband's early retirement from CEO-ism — why not bring the goodies to Vegas?
"What about this, Hargrove?"
"Ew. Too much glitter."
"Okay... this then?"
"Too little glitter."
"Bitch, if you don't just DECIDE!"
It's taken ages for Shy Girl to take up the amount of space that she does. And with this newfound confidence, there was no going back. During her time at Hellfire, Shy Girl had learned to become a goddess in her own skin, the baddest bitch who was deserving of the softest life; and there wasn't anything her controlling twin brother could ever do to change her mind. And even if he wanted to, he would have to get past those steel, metal bars first. Something that's remained unsuccessful for the past year and a half.
"It can't be too sparkly, but it also can't be too basic," Shy Girl notes aloud. “Something that hugs the girls just right, but isn’t too snug in the crotch area.”
Nina nods absentmindedly as they continue to patrol.
“Something that won’t cost an arm and a leg,” Shy Girl adds. “But also not something made by a child in a sweatshop.”
“Totally,” Nina hums.
They tread onward, having probably met their steps for the day, Shy Girl growing increasingly more agitated with every stride.
“I just want something that makes me look pretty, ethereal, and soul-snatching!" she grunts again. "Is that too much to ask?!”
“Something like that?”
Shy Girl turns in the direction of Nina's pointing finger. And in her field of view is the prettiest set she's ever seen.
"Are you kidding me?!" Shy Girl squeals in excitement.
Seductive and scarlet red. Tight, satin material embellished with extravagant-looking faux diamonds. The star of the set is the heart shape neckline, with showgirl-like frills at the hips that resemble an eternal flame.
Running to the display now, Shy Girl reaches over to fondle the set while Nina desperately sets off after her.
The set is more stunning the closer they got, with so much attention to detail, it was surely crafted by a girl's girl. Someone who knows what the people want and exactly how to get it. And also a woman who is calculated.
Lady in Red.
"It's even called Lady in Red, dude," Shy Girl beams, a prominent twinkle in her eyes. "This set is made for me. WHO IS THE MASTERMIND BEHIND THIS MONEY-MAKER? I could just kiss her."
“Hmm... Elle Warren," Nina reads. "CEO of Bright & Belle.”
Beside the set is a podium that show-cases the set's creator. She's smiling in her headshot, with a pink suit and her arms crossed, showing off her radiant smile, and even more radiant ocean eyes and Barbie-blonde locks.
"Every woman deserves to feel beautiful, bold, and UNSTOPPABLE. My mission is to empower women by turning pain into power. Bright & Belle is designed to celebrate all body types, all shades, and all sizes, offering a collection that makes every woman feel confident and comfortable in her own skin. I hope to become the rainbow after someone's storm, one sexy set at a time."
“Wow," Shy Girl coos. "She’s so pretty... and inspirational.”
“Biased much?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Wh- look at her! Blonde curly hair? Piercing blue eyes, she looks just like you.”
“Maybe Billy and I have a triplet we just don’t know about,” Shy Girl theorizes, the conniving pearly-white Hargrove smirk reappearing on her face.
“Girl with the life you live, y’all might as well," Nina rolls her eyes. "Now c'mon. Let's go see what this club's all about. Bet it can't beat Hellfire."
9:00 pm - Sweets
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH A NIGHT OF SIN?"
“Now this… this is heaven.”
It appears that Jackpot is where the party is at. Isabelle's eyes light up with dollar signs when she observes the booths filled with patrons, stage badazzled with the sexiest dancers you both have ever seen, and a bar so full that there was hardly any room in the corners to wall-sit.
"Looks like we've got some impressions to make," Isabelle remarks. "That being said, I'll be in the powder room, if you'll excuse me."
You watch in disapproval as she issues a joking tap atop the tip of her nose. When she sees you scowling at her, Isabelle shrinks herself back down immediately.
"I'm joking, Sweets," she says. "I'm just going to the bathroom. You know that."
"With every joke there is a little truth," you mutter. "And you've been making a lot of blow jokes lately."
Isabelle was hooked on benzos and cocaine her first year of college. Granted, you both went to school in PULLMAN, the "hippie haven" of Washington State, so it didn't make her that much of an outlier.
But the abuse was heavy, most of it correlating with the abuse she endured in her marriage.
"Are you using again?" you accuse.
"No, honey."
"Then why'd you make a joke?"
"Because I thought it was funny. Stop looking so much into it."
You take a second to issue yourself some deep breaths. Noticing your distress, Isabelle gives you a consoling rub on your shoulder.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made that joke," she frowns. "I know how much you worry for me. But I'm clean. I promise."
"Okay," you mumble.
Friends don’t lie. And Isabelle has never given you any reason to doubt her. So why should you?
"I'll be back," she excuses herself again. "Just gonna go use the lil Big Sisters’ room. We'll be shaking ass with the strippers before you know it."
You snort to yourself as she scampers out of your sight. Now it’s just you alone with your thoughts and yearning.
Isabelle's speech from earlier echoes through your ears once again. It's time for you to enjoy your 20s. College is over and you can finally let loose. So why did you feel guilty, wanting to roam free during Isabelle’s most pivotal moment instead of supporting her? You two have been joined at the hip for so long, it felt unnatural to exclude her from things. You wanted to do everything with your “big sister”.
"Alriiiight, ladies and gentlemen," the DJ announces as he transitions his performance track to a familiar 80s song. "Thank you so much for coming and supporting all of these beautiful dancers!”
The crowd erupts in rampant cheers and whistles. You clap along too, while scanning the room for a nice guy to talk up.
“We have a special treat for you tonight,” the DJ continues. “We’ve got some dancers from out of state, so give them a warm Las Vegas welcome…”
Your gaze piques in curiosity as the R&B track fades into a guitar riff, soon to be melted into a very familiar song from the 80s, critically acclaimed by people who lived on the edge of Sexy and Wild.
“…All the way from Hawkins, Indiana…” says the DJ. “…from the HELLFIRE GENTLEMEN'S CLUB...GIVE IT UP... FOR SHYYYY GIRLLLLL!"
The music now blares through the speakers as one of the dancers makes her grand entrance. And soon a specific corner of the room erupts in a frenzy the moment she fully emerges onto the stage.
"Here I am! Rocked you like a hurricane."
And she is a smokin' hot hurricane if you ever did see one.
You fawn over the stripper’s captivating eye make-up. Her bouncy, golden blonde hair with just as bouncy, perky, tits. And the ass on this chick? That thing’s got a zip code and a mind of its own. Just look at it go.
Everyone cheers, specifically two people in the corner, presumably her hometown peeps who flew out to see her perform. There's a girl with long, dark hair, and given her attire, you presume she's a performer too. There's also a man next to her, also with long hair and is most likely her partner, hooting and hollering as if he wasn't even allowed to hoot and holler at home, handing everyone around him some shots while he praised every move she made.
“What a fucking badass,” you say to yourself. "She's got the crowd by the horns."
And that captivating red set. It suits this ‘Shy Girl’ so well it almost makes you tear up. It is then not too long after that you realize you’ve seen this set before.
It’s one of Isabelle’s sets. One of your best friend’s creations. The Lady in Red.
"That's my wife!" the Van Halen-looking guy boasts proudly. "THAT'S MY WIFE! Doing amazing, baby!"
Your suspicions were correct. Shy Girl is that man’s wife. And what a lucky man he is. Urgently grabbing your phone, you go to shoot Isabelle a text about the dancer wearing her set.
to: Isabelle Warren
Girl come quick! A dancer on stage is wearing Lady in Red! She's really good!
Enamored, you watch as Shy Girl swoops down to her knees on the left side of the tip rail. She blows the bar a kiss. When your eyes follow in that direction, you see a — very attractive — man who seems to be part of that same group, judging by how they interacted with one another from across the room.
There's a glimmer, a familiar pining in his fiery, molten eyes as he leans back against the barstool, admiring the dancer from head to toe. When they meet gazes, Shy Girl winks at him and struts away.
The exchange draws you to reach two conclusions: the man is either secretly in love with this chick, or they've been friends for a really long time.
Suits was about to be deeply infatuated with you, though. With your sudden boost of confidence to want to approach him tonight.
Without another lingering thought, you strut over to the bar to greet the older piece of eye candy with your signature, warm grin.
"Hi there.”
But his reaction is the least of what you expected.
"Oh god," the gentleman sighs. "Did he send you to me?"
Confused, you take a look around.
"Who are you talking about?"
"Oh cut the crap, kid, I've seen it all before,” the man scoffs pessimistically. “What'd he promise you? Huh? Tickets to see Adele or Blue Boys? Free rounds of shots?”
"He didn't promise me anything," you huff in protest. "God forbid I actually wanna talk to somebody on a night out. Is this a trauma response because if so, this needs to be visited. In therapy, perhaps. Not a bar."
The ego — or lack of — of the guy seemingly deflates, a flushed red color appearing at the heat of his cheekbones before radiating to his ears.
"You mean you willingly came up to me?" he continues to stare in disbelief.
"Yes..." you narrow your eyes at the Pick-Me-Nice-Guy in front of you. "But something tells me I shouldn't have."
His gaze softens even more. It's apologetic now.
"It's not every day I get approached anymore," he says. "Usually I'm the one that does the chasing."
"Well, why not?" you shrug, deflating your ego along with him as well. "You're handsome, young, look like a fun time... How can the ladies not?"
It catches him off guard.
"Young," he laughs at this. "How old are you anyways?"
"23," you gaze at him through your eyelashes. "How old are you?"
"I'm 31, cutie."
You can feel your heart beating in more places than one. And when your eyes travel down to his lap, you're greeted by a warm and open manspread, the base of his knees angled towards your body, the same way his broad torso invites you into him.
You accept his advance.
"Oh come on," you blush. "That's not even that much older."
"Not that much older? Just you wait," he says with a slight chuckle. Your breath hitches his knee brushes against your ass. "Soon you can't drink the way you used to, your knees hurt, and you wake up ten pounds heavier than the day before. Trust me, I know."
"Rich coming from someone who's a few years removed from my generation."
And rich, judging by the intoxicating cologne that clung to his skin like a second layer. Rich, judging by the perfectly pressed, popped collar of his Maceoo dress shirt. Rich, judging by his wait-list only watch that rested neatly on his wrist, catching the glare from the strobe lights every so often.
"You're kidding," he snaps you back to reality. "You're really Gen Z?"
"Yeah, can't you tell?" you tsk. You watch as his pupils drastically increase in size the more you sway into him. "I'm part of the knows-what-they-want-and-gets-it type of crowd."
You nod to the bartender to start a tab for you. Playing it safe, you request two gin-and-tonics, offering a glance to the now more-than-receptive man in front of you.
"Can't relate," he breathes. "'m a millenial."
"Ah, the hate-my-life crowd."
"Better than the hate-my-wife crowd” he winks, subtly jabbing at the ever-so-argumentative Generation-X.
"Oh definitely," you agree, clinking your glass with his. "And I can tell by your friends you guys are the total opposite."
Both of you look back over at the his friends, and to your surprise, discover that the group is staring back at you as well. Group being the Shy Girl dancer's husband and the dark-haired dancer beside him. When your eyes meet theirs they immediately look away, but sheepishly smile to each other along with "do you see this?" type of nudges.
"So what's your deal?" you smirk, turning back to the guy. "You seeing anybody?"
"If I was, I wouldn't be here talking to you, honey," Suits smirks, his espresso eyes devouring you while his palm hovers over the small of your back. "I’m really sorry we got off the wrong foot. I’m Steve.”
You tell him your name. “It’s nice to meet you, Steve.”
“You as well, Sweets.”
“What do you do for work?”
“I own my own business,” Steve smiles. “Been doing it a couple years now, and it’s really taken off.”
“What business is it?”
“I sell bobby pins,” Steve explains. It confuses you at first but you remain supportive. “But they’re a special kind.”
Intrigued, you watch as Steve digs into his pocket to fetch you some samples.
“My buddy Eddie over there owns a strip club,” Steve explains, nodding towards the feral, long-haired guy over in the corner. “And unfortunately one too many dancers have gotten roofied, so I made bobby pins that change color when it senses something weird in your drink.”
"Do they now?"
"They sure do," Steve nods proudly. "The bobby pins turn black if they detect the roofie drug. So if you think your drink's been spiked, that's a foolproof way for ya to check."
“This is very neat,” you beam, holding the pretty pink bobby pin in your hand.
You’re twiddling it between your fingers when you notice Steve’s breathing falter. He clears his throat for a brief second, before resting his hand slightly over yours.
“May I?”
You nod and allow him his bobby pin back.
There's little you can do except try not to melt, quietly swooning as the older man you're perched on gazes at you like a muse. His touch is gentle, as if you're a marble bust—his fingers brushing away the shorter strands of your curtain bangs, savoring the dimples above your chin.
“There,” he grins. “Now I can see those pretty eyes.”
You and Steve find yourselves getting lost into conversation, well past Shy Girl's set, and most likely way past her friend's as well. He tells you about his life back home and you tell him about your final year of college. The gloominess of Seattle. Your excitement about being able to start a new life. And when you reach to give him back his bobby pin, he gestures it away.
"Consider it a gift. If I won't be seeing you again, I'd at least want you to be safe."
“Who’s to say you won’t see me again?”
"Well," Steve chuckles into you. "Maybe you'll find some other sucker to charm and you'll forget all about me."
Closing up the space between you two, you shuffle yourself closer in between his knees, rubbing yourself teasingly against his iron-pressed lap while he wraps his strong arms around you to keep you in place.
“Oh don’t be so silly,” you hum, softly tracing his stubble before clasping his beating chest. “You’ll definitely be seeing me around.”
"You trying to give me your phone number?" he cocks an inquisitive eyebrow.
“I mean... I was implying that you’d see me walking around The Strip. Vegas is pretty small,” you point out. “But if you’d like to stay connected, I’m not opposed to that either.”
Steve tongue dances in his cheek as he stares you up and down.
"Or who knows," you add. "Maybe you'll see me at an Adele show."
Steve cackles at this, receptive to the teasing you're giving him and reeling you in as a response.
“Well, Sweets, if that's the case, then I’d love to see you again before I go back.”
You two exchange phone numbers, close out your tab, and Steve is on his way. Turns out, he's also part of the In-Bed-By-9 crowd, but tonight was considered a splurge. When he disappears from sight, you set out to find Isabelle.
Luckily, her golden blonde locks are easy to spot in the crowd.
“There you are!" you exclaim when you find her, hooking arms with her as you two start towards the tip rail. "I met a guy while you were gone. His name is Steve, he’s a CEO.”
“Such a CEO name,” Isabelle tuts. “But that’s amazing. Is he older?”
You nod, blushing. Isabelle squeals, ecstatic for you.
“Ugh, older men are the bestttt, girl. Where is he now?”
“Rounding up his friends," your eyes scan the room. "I think they’re done for tonight. His friend was one of the dancers and she was wearing your Lady in Red set. She's from Indiana too, but I forgot where.”
“And I missed it?!" Isabelle exclaims, completely engaged now. "Now you HAVE to point them out to me.”
So now you two are on a mission, peddling through the strip club like two lost sheep looking for their herder. After five sweaty drunks and lots of assertive "excuse me"s later, you're able to catch sight of the guy just by the back of his head.
“That’s Steve," you immediately point him out. "Right over there."
“Oh my god,” is all Isabelle says.
You turn to Elle and it's like she's seen a ghost. Panicked, you watch the color drain from your best friend's face in real time, followed by a nearly audible gulp in a pulsating room and obnoxious strobe lights. And for a brief second, it seems like Elle had nearly lost her footing, with how her knees seemingly buckled below her.
“Elle…" you nudge her. "A-are you okay?”
"Yeah… I'm fine...it’s just…” she stammers. “That's Steve Harrington."
"You know Steve Harrington?"
"More than you know."
Suddenly, her gaze shifts when she studies his friends.
It’s a look you’ve never seen before in your life. At least not on Isabelle’s face.
Her once radiant ocean eyes, so full of warmth and sunshine, have turned icy and sharp, like shards of broken glass. A tension builds in her face as her jaw clenches. You look down at her hands and see that they're curled inwards, as though she'd been fighting to keep a brewing anger from the depths of her, relatively silent, fury from erupting. And then, before you know it her ocean eyes flare with an almost palpable heat. Danger. Fire, almost.
"And the guy next to him?" Isabelle grimaces. "The erratic one with the stripper around his arm?"
Isabelle's lips tighten bitterly.
"That's Eddie Munson... my ex-husband."
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#Spotify#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington fanfiction#older!steve harrington#steve harrington x reader#ceo!steve harrington#steve harrington#older!steve#ceo!steve
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Claiming you.
✧ A story where Soobin feels unwanted by his boyfriend because he had been away for a while. As soon as Yeonjun hears about this he's determined to change his lover's mindset.
♡
Requested by, anon ♡
Yeonjun x Soobin
✧ Tags;
Breeding kink, size kink, praise kink, edge play, bottom!soobin, top!yeonjun, smut, fluff
✧
"Honey, I told you it was just a trip.. nothing more than just a few days being away from each other. Just because I was gone it doesn't mean I don't want you anymore."
Soobin exhaled as he wrapped his arms around his cold legs, cheek mashed against his knee. It had been about two weeks since he had seen his boyfriend, and it affected him more than he thought it would.
Yeonjun's boss had told him that he, and a few other co-workers had to go to Las Vegas to settle a deal with a company that had reached out to them. And at first Soobin was over the moon, he was so proud of his boyfriend that he got to participate in such a big event, that the boss chose him as one of the best workers to handle such a job. But as the days passed it had only become worse and worse for him. It wasn't just that Yeonjun wasn't next to him. It was also because Yeonjun could barely go on his phone, and whenever he could Soobin would be asleep because of the time difference. It was horrible, and it felt like he didn't get to have a proper conversation with his lover in months.
"Baby.." Yeonjun called out again once his boyfriend didn't reply, sitting down next to him on their silk covered bed, bringing his hand up to caress his lover's cheek. "I'm sorry, yes? I didn't know it would be so.. how do I say this? So.. abstract? I expected to text you every day, to call you. But that didn't happen and I apologise.. you must have been lonely."
Soobin inhaled as he simply hugged his legs closer to his body, looking to the side with tear filled eyes, feeling more emotional than ever. Yeonjun finally returned from his trip, and he should've been happy. But he wasn't, it was the opposite, and he hated that.
"You don't want me anymore.."
"What?"
A moment of silence filled the room as Yeonjun stopped in his tracks, the hand that was brushing over his boyfriend's face froze in the air, hesitantly, and slowly pulling away.
"Soobin, don't say that." The older instantly scolded, furrowing his brows. "It was just a trip, and the time stamps were flipped around. There wasn't much I could do, I was busy. But hey.. maybe I'll get a higher position. And I'm here now, you should be happy."
Meanwhile Soobin just sniffed softly, covering his eyes to prevent himself from embarrassing himself in front of the shorter, it was embarrassing. Yeonjun was right, he should've been happy. But those two weeks of not hearing Yeonjun's voice made him feel a dark pitch in his stomach and heart. He was so used to being held to sleep every night that it felt rather damaging when it wasn't like that. He was so used to it. "I know.. but.. you haven't even touched me or shown any sign of you missing me when you came back.. hurts. I missed you, but you didn't miss me."
"Is that what this is about?"
Yeonjun inhaled as he carefully held Soobin's hand, kissing the corner of his lips before he laid the taller down, thinking. "Sweetheart. Of course I missed you, you're my everything. Looked at your pictures every night.. and I do need you, you're all I can think about." The male carefully hovered on top of his boyfriend as he gave him a warm, reassuring smile. Leaning in to kiss away the cold, sticky tears from Soobin's face, humming lowly. "You want to know how much I missed you?"
"Mhm.." Soobin shivered slightly when his lover kissed his delicate skin, hips already starting to buck up. Maybe this was just what he needed, an orgasm to forget about everything, to see how badly Yeonjun wanted him. "I want you to show me.. how badly you want me.. 'need it." He whispered, squirming under his boyfriend before Yeonjun pinned him down by his hips, nodding. "Okay baby.. I'm going to need you to relax for me then, hm? Let me do all the work.."
And before Soobin knew it, Yeonjun was stripping off all his clothes, leaving him completely naked and tracing down each curve of his body carefully, eyes full of love. "There we go.. my poor baby. You missed this, didn't you? I bet you jerked off whispering my name.. god. If only I could've seen you like that.." Yeonjun inhaled sharply as he thought about his lover pumping his own member needily, mouth agape while his tiny teeth poked out. It was one of his favourite things about Soobin, the way he resembled a bunny. And honestly, it wasn't just his features that reminded him of a bunny, but also the way he bounced on dick whenever he was needy, he always looked so cute when in heat.
"Yes.." Soobin's eyes squinted as his pupils followed each movement Yeonjun made, breathing rather loudly. He was getting so hot that his skin started to radiate heat like a furnace, cheeks red. "You took.. so long.. I was so alone, had to take care of myself.."
"Poor bunny." Yeonjun grinned a bit as he started to take off his own clothes in a slow manner, wanting to tease the other in each way possible. "But you did so good.. you're such a good boy for me. Did you think of me baby? Were you good?"
"Yes.." Soobin panted out again, mouth agape as his hips jerked up in need, wanting to get any sort of friction. But he knew that if he touched himself Yeonjun would scold him. Plus, the older had promised to take care of him, and he trusted him. "Watched old videos of us.. videos you sent me.. listened to your audios, your grunts. Imagined you were there with me.."
"Go on.. you're doing so good.. Keep talking." Yeonjun praised lowly, listening to his boyfriend while he tossed away his clothes. And then, he leaned down to press a dozen of kisses around his lover's thighs, humming softly against his soft skin and inhaling his boyfriend's scent, eyes closed. "Used a dildo.. bounced on it and listened to your voice, closed my eyes.. it felt so real. I needed you.. so bad.."
"I know.." The older inhaled sharply as he pulled away, sitting down on the floor of the end of their shared bed before he pulled his lover towards him by his legs, nose nuzzling into his balls. "But I'm here now.. and you did so.. so good. I'm so proud of you.. the best boy, hm?"
Soobin shivered when he felt Yeonjun's mouth being so close to his crotch, nodding and letting out a quiet cry as his hips jerked into him, trying to force himself inside of the male's mouth. But Yeonjun stopped him, wrapping his arms around the taller's legs. "Do you need me to tie you up? I thought you'd be good, baby. You don't want to be praised?"
"M' sorry.. I'll be good.." Soobin instantly stayed still as Yeonjun continued to kiss his thighs, member twitching in the air. "But you're teasing me.. I've been wanting this for a while and you're.. teasing me.." He protested, chest rising up and down as his doe eyes stared up at the ceiling, aching for more.
"I know, baby. But I want to savour this.. to enjoy this moment. Let me have this, hm? Won't you please hyung?" Yeonjun whispered, watching the way his boyfriend started to whine into his pillow, salivating against the silky white material. "Just like that love.. just stay still and look pretty for me, hm? Doing so good."
Soobin whimpered softly as he squirmed his hips slightly, starting to gasp into the sheets before he suddenly felt a cold sensation against his entrance, making him whine louder. Yeonjun had started to lubricate his entrance carefully, spurting the cold gel against his hole before he rubbed it in with his thumb, blowing softly as well to make the warm area tingle. "The better you are for me the quicker you'll get your release." The older promised, nuzzling into his thigh as he slowly pressed one finger inside of the younger's walls, rubbing and feeling against his prostate.
And soon enough, Soobin started to moan more loudly, back arching towards the ceiling as his legs started to shake, mouth agape. "Need it.. need it.. more.." He whimpered, walls clamping around Yeonjun's finger out of desperation. And soon enough, he felt another finger enter him, making him see stars.
"Shh.. be good and you'll get more. I've told you before.." Yeonjun bit his bottom lip as he started to pump his middle, and index finger into the younger, watching his chest rise up and down as he did his best hitting and rubbing into his boyfriend's gummy spots, eyebrow furrowed in focus. "There you go.."
Soobin's hands gripped onto the warm sheets under him as his mouth stayed open, eyes barely staying open as he finally felt what he had been aching for for days. He knew what Yeonjun said was true, so he did his best to be as good as possible, not moving too much and simply letting the male take care of him so he could have more, whimpering out of satisfaction. And before he knew it, a third finger entered his body, making his cock leak even more precum, dripping down to his abdomen.
"That's my good boy.. doing so good. I'm so proud of you.." Yeonjun whispered against Soobin's thigh, sucking some purple spots onto the skin as he slammed his palm against Soobin's ass, fingers pounding in and out of his walls. But as soon as he heard his boyfriend's voice getting higher and his walls tugging onto him harder he pulled away, watching how Soobin's entrance instantly gaped around nothing, length twitching needily.
When Soobin felt the sudden stop of friction he let out a soft cry, propping himself up onto his forearms so he could look down at his boyfriend, cheeks strained in tears of pleasure. "Wha.. where.. Yeonjun?" The male panted loudly as his member continued to throb, needing to release. But he couldn't, there wasn't any friction that would make him cum. "Shh.." Yeonjun smiled as he climbed on top of his boyfriend, sushing him warmly and rubbing his cock against his entrance, humming at the warm sensation. "So needy.."
"Cock.." Soobin instantly gasped, looking up at his boyfriend when the older pressed their foreheads together, feeling his stomach turn multiple times. There was something about the way Yeonjun stared at him that made him feel small and weak, but in the best way possible. It almost seemed like the older was seeing right through him, taking in his soul with his fierce gaze. But Soobin was soon distracted when he felt Yeonjun's hips harshly slam against him once, crying out loudly while the older let out a loud moan, keeping his boyfriend pressed against him.
"Can't.. I can't- it's too.. big.." Soobin whimpered, letting out quiet whines as Yeonjun carefully rolled himself against the male, wanting to get as deep as possible. "You can.. you've been good this entire time. Why not now? Hm? Look at that.." Yeonjun bit his bottom lip as he looked down at their bodies colliding, letting out a hiss when he noticed the obvious bulge in Soobin's stomach, eyebrows furrowed. "Fuck, baby.."
Soobin winced softly when he felt Yeonjun rub over the bulge, squirming his hips slightly as his mouth stayed agape, gasping needily. "I can't.." He repeated again. But Yeonjun simply pressed his hand against Soobin's mouth, sushing him once more. "You can.. you're taking it so well, love. Be good for me.." Yeonjun inhaled sharply as he pulled his member out, eyes flickering up at his boyfriend every now and then to check on his state before he laid his cock flat against the younger's stomach, watching how his tip reached all the way to his belly button. "It's just like that on the inside as well.. God. That's so fucking hot.."
Soobin stared down at the way Yeonjun compared his size to his stomach as he panted quietly, eager to feel his boyfriend again. "You're so tiny compared to my cock.. can you imagine? Me going in and out of you like this.. so deep. I'm filling you up so good." The older whispered lowly, grabbing his length again before he pressed it against his boyfriend once more. And then, he pulled Soobin towards him by his hips, manhandling him onto his dick. And slowly, he moved the male back and forth, watching how his stomach bulged each time, showing clearly how well he was fucking into the younger.
"Yeonjun-" Soobin cried out as he was moved onto his shaft, arms trembling before his back fell onto the mattress, arms laying flat. "Big.."
"I know.. you're doing so good.. look.. you're taking me so well." The older praised, letting out grunt as he kept Soobin's hips up, moving his boyfriend like a flesh light before he finally let his butt sink down on the mattress, focused. "I'm going to breed you.. going to give you all my babies.." Yeonjun growled as Soobin simply whined, feeling his stomach flutter. And soon enough, Yeonjun started to thrust his hips back and forth, watching how his boyfriend's delicate body moved up and down on the sheets. "Fucking shit.. you'll take them so well.. would be such a pretty daddy.."
Soobin let out a whimper whenever he felt Yeonjun hit the best spots inside of him, voice high and needy as he was fucked into like a toy, mouth open. Due to his boyfriend's big size he felt like he was filled to the brim, as if a thick brick was moving in and out of his body and leaving no room for air. But he loved it, he loved how good Yeonjun made him feel and how he reassured him so much. Sex with him was the best. "I'm going to cum.." The taller whined out, stomach continuing to bulge as Yeonjun rocked his hips back and forth, fingers piercing into his lover's skin. Though he didn't reply, being too focused on listening to Soobin's voice, wanting to hear his orgasm near. And once the male was on the verge of finishing, Yeonjun pulled out again, panting.
Just like before, Soobin let out a cry as his member continued to throb, leaking even more precum while his boyfriend flipped him onto his side, pressing his legs together. "Good boy.. almost. Doing so well, you'll feel so good.." The older whispered, spanking his ass hard once before he pushed himself into his entrance once more, grunting.
Soobin looked down at his member as it laid rock hard against his stomach, gazing down at the way he kept bulging and how he constantly leaked precum, moaning against the sheets loudly. "Good.. almost. Do you want me to breed you, hm? I'll give you.. everything. Fuck. You'll take it so well.. going to make sure you won't miss a drop.." The older murmured, biting his bottom lip as he pounded himself against Soobin's ass, balls slapping against his skin, hard, making the impact even more intense. And before he knew it, Yeonjun was cumming, hard. Pressing himself against his boyfriend as aggressively as possible so he could get as deep as he could, cumming in harsh, long and aggressive spurts. "Fuck-" Yeonjun growled, letting out a whine as well. "All of it.. take all of it.. you'll be.. having my babies.." The older whimpered, digging himself into Soobin's neck where he inhaled his scent and bit onto the skin, moaning as well.
And just like Yeonjun, Soobin came as well. Letting out cries of pleasure as he stained the sheets in thick strokes of white. It was much more than he thought it would be, but that was probably because he held it in for so long. And just like always, Yeonjun was right. Everything felt so much better like this.
After a few minutes of calming down Yeonjun wiped his forehead, taking his member and pulling it out carefully before he tilted Soobin's hips up so no cum would leave him, panting. "Stay like that.." he ordered in a tired, raspy tone. Grabbing one of Soobin's butt plugs and inserting it carefully, grinning at the sight. "Perfect.. you've got it all.. didn't miss a drop. Good boy.. you did so good today.." Soobin simply panted as his boyfriend laid down next to him, pulling him to his chest so he could listen to his heartbeat, gently stroking his hair.
"I'm so proud of you.. did so good, as always. Don't say that I don't want you ever again, hm? I love you so much.." Yeonjun whispered, kissing his lips.
Soobin breathed calmly against his boyfriend's chest as he smiled a bit to his words, humming. "I love you more.. thank you. I needed that.. didn't expect to be so grumpy.." He told honestly, rubbing his eyes a bit before he nuzzled more into the older's warm skin, starting to calm down his breathing. Meanwhile Yeonjun just hummed softly, playing with his hair, eyes full of love. He wished that Soobin would never feel like that again, because he did truly love him. Maybe he just didn't show it in the right ways. Or maybe his boyfriend was just sexually frustrated. But honestly, the cause of it wasn't too important to him at the moment. Right now he was focused on showing Soobin how much he truly did mean to him, rubbing over his waist. "And that's okay.. we've solved it now, hm? And I'm on break.. I'll be all yours for two weeks. Next time don't jump to conclusions yes? Just tell me how you feel and we'll fix it.. my everything."
Soobin hummed quietly as he breathed slowly, closing his eyes. He felt so comforted whenever he was with his boyfriend. And after such an intense orgasm he got really tired. So it was understandable that he fell asleep against Yeonjun's chest within a minute of them talking. It was actually cute, Yeonjun loved it. He loved how he was such a safe place for his lover. And hopefully, he could be that for the rest of Soobin's life.
♡
To, anon
I hope you enjoyed it and that it fit your expectations. And thank you so much for being my first submission, I enjoyed making this 😚
To, readers
Thank you so much for reading, and as a reminder my submissions are open if you'd like one of these as well. Have a great day, stay hydrated and remember that you're loved.
Thank you!
#soobin hard hours#yeonjun hard hours#soobin smut#yeonjun smut#txt hard hours#bottom soobin#top yeonjun#soobin hard thoughts#soobinxyeonjun#soobinsmut#txt smut#yeonjun#soobin#yeonjun hard thoughts#txt hard thoughts#soobjun#yeonbin
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HI I'M HERE TO MAKE A REQUEST
I have this idea going around my head for a few days, maybe a crossover outer banks x the summer i turned pretty?
Sooo, the reader is Jeremiah's and Conrad's sister and she has been having a crush on Steven for YEARS, and even tho Steven also had a crush on her but never did anything about it, ANYWAYS.
This happen the same summer that Belly has her debutante thing going on and Jeremiah and Steven had jobs at the club ok? So lets say.... The reader is going every day, Steven knows it, but he doesn't know why or where is she going after a while, at first he thinks she's going to see him.
But actually turns out that, JJ is a waiter there, and they have been hooking up since the first day she got to the vacation house (lets just say her family always got there like three or two weeks before Steven's family)
Maybe Steven sees them together during his break, idk?
I would always chose JJ so he can be the main focus of this but just for funsies i want a Steven regretting he didn't act on his feelings for her♡
LOVE AND REGRET
PAIRINGS. jj x fem reader, steven x fem reader
SUMMARY. you and jj have been hooking up for a while and one day as you were spending time together someone caught you two and it wasn’t pretty.
WARNINGS. nothing really just light making out, angst, and heartbreak
AUTHORS NOTE. this was so fun to do sorry it took so long! hope you enjoy it I kind of switched up the prompt I hope you don't mind ♡ not fully edited
you had just got out of watching belly’s debutant rehearsal. the debutant was in a few weeks. you didn’t know who was going to be your escort when the time came but you knew you wanted to pick who would go with you by yourself.
your mother, susannah kept pushing that either steven or her friend's son could be your escort but one annoyed you to the point where you wanted to drown in your own pool, and the other…well the other is not an option.
you’d had feelings for steven ever since you’d met him which was when you were little. you guys were childhood best friends because your moms were best friends.
every summer you’d vacation in cousins. every single summer.
you never got tired of it, but you did get tired however of waiting for steven.
you were sure he knew you had feelings for him but he never reciprocated the feelings back. so last summer you made a pledge to yourself. if after a week of vacation, you didn’t get any signal that your feelings were mutual, you’d get over him.
again and again, you waited but when you pushed it another week and got no sign, you knew you had to let him go.
you were hurting yourself more than he could hurt you.
so you busied yourself with other things. you went to the boardwalk with belly, you would get ice cream with some of your friends you knew from the country club your mother was involved with, and you even started going out by yourself.
you learned self-love and learned to be on your own which was a big thing for you.
so while on the usual road trip to cousins you were confident it was going to be a great summer. you weren’t coming in with the mindset that you’d be excited to see steven or be in his presence. you came in with the mindset that you’d be able to treat yourself and have fun.
as soon as you got there your mood skyrocketed. the best feeling was pulling into the driveway or the beach house and taking in the sweet and salty air.
“y/n honey can you help me bring in the groceries please?” your mom asked you. “you both too.” she looked at conrad and jere.
“yeah sure,” you responded getting out of the car and planting both of your feet on the driveway of the beach house. you immediately smiled at the symbolic situation.
my home away from home. you thought to yourself
you took the groceries inside helping susannah sort them out into the cabinets and the fridge and as soon as you were done you grabbed all your belongings and went to your room.
you opened the door with a big smile and placed your duffel bag on the bed and your staircase next to the closer.
you then ran and jumped onto your bed relaxing on the soft comforter. you were always sad you didn’t have the same bed back home.
“y/n! belly’s here!” your mom shouted from downstairs.
your face lit up as you jumped off the bed and sprinted downstairs.
you and belly were always the closest. not only because you were both girls but because you were practically sisters. both the same age, with only a 10-day difference between birthdays. you were bound to be inseparable.
“y/n/n!!” belly shouted as she ran towards you and engulfed you in a hug. “oh my gosh i missed you so much even though we were literally face timing last night.” she laughed.
“i missed you, ten hours is too long.” you pretended to act sad.
“beck.” laurel spoke.
“there’s my girlfriend.” your mom said opening her arms for a hug.
you smiled at laurel and hugged her next knowing who was behind her.
of course, seeing his face made you feel strange but it’s not as bad as all the years before.
“hi steven.” you greeted trying to act as normal as possible.
“hi y/n/n.” he smiled pulling you in for a hug.
he always smelled good.
y/n stop it.
you pulled away quickly trying to come up with something to talk about.
“steven…you should really start working out.” you frowned playfully. “you won’t find a girl in cousins when it feels like i’m hugging a noodle.”
“hey hey hey. i work out.” he rolled his eyes shoving you playfully. “yo wait where’s conrad and jere?”
“they’re-“ before you could finish your sentence conrad and jere jumped from behind him.
“yo what the fuck!?” steven jumped causing his mom to glare at him. “i-i mean fudge. my bad mom.”
“well, look who it is.” jere smiled. “hey bells.”
belly smiled and jumped into jere’s arms “jere!! i missed you so much.”
“oh yeah belly way to show who’s your favorite fisher brother.” conrad said.
i internally rolled my eyes. jealousy is a very interesting look on you conrad.
belly shied away at what conrad said. conrad ended up just messing up the hair on top of her head.
“guys guys guys. i don’t know about you guys but i think it’s time for a….”
“belly flop!!” the boys exclaimed.
you saw as all three of them worked together to carry belly out of the house and assumed to drop her into the pool.
you took this chance to go upstairs and change and get ready to go out into town or the boardwalk.
“hey mom?” you said as you were walking downstairs.
“yeah baby?” your mom replied from the kitchen.
“can i go to the boardwalk for a little bit?” you sat on one of the stools meeting the counter. you analyzed how your mom was making a charcuterie board of different cheeses. you assumed it was for her and laurel.
“alone? you didn’t wanna stay for girl's movie night? we’re watching la la land.” she smiled trying to convince you.
“i’ll be back by then i promise. pleaseeee” you begged.
“okay fine, also nice outfit i wonder who made you buy half of those fashion staples.” she smiled. you were wearing low-waisted flared jeans that accentuated and flattered your curves and paired it with a square neck flowy white flower patterned shirt.
for jewelry choices, you chose a dainty silver necklace with a pearl as the accent and medium-length thin silver hoops. you then had on your regular silver rings none too chunky and for shoes you chose your Doc Marten sandals.
“thank you, mom. i love you.” you went to kiss your mother on the cheek goodbye.
you then made your way to the front grabbing hold of your white bag you would take to store your stuff.
you brought an extra sweater just in case the sea breeze was a little much, the digital camera that your mom bought you to save memories, your blanket, a towel, a book, and your self-care bag which contained lip gloss, gum, a mini hair brush, a tide pen, eyelash curler, and your wallet.
your outfit: (i love doing this it’s so fun)
“hey y/n where you going?” you heard a familiar voice call.
it was steven.
“oh i’m just going to the boardwalk.” you waved and started walking off.
“and you’re gonna walk?” he raised his brow.
“yeah, why not.” you laughed nervously.
“you’re not walking, i’ll go with you.” he said grabbing his car keys from his pocket and unlocking the car. “get in.”
“no steven the whole point is to enjoy the walk and-” he interrupted you by putting his finger on your lips. “shhh…now now little y/n/n. you’re not walking end of story. get in let’s go! we’re wasting time.” he said.
it was going to be a long day.
“let’s go eat.” steven said as he was licking the ice cream he bought. you were also devouring yours, which he bought as well.
“he says after literally inhaling his ice cream.” you narrated his statement.
“what?! a man has got to eat to feed his muscles.” he kissed his bicep.
“and what muscles are we talking about? the muscle memory you have to eat?” you rolled your eyes. “let’s go to that one place what is it called? it’s more on that side of the town though. i forgot what it’s called. it was recommended to me.”
something something nest you think.
“just search it up smart one.” he said swallowing the last bite of his ice cream.
“that’s what i was going to do” you hissed. you went on your phone and looked up restaurants in your area.
the pelican's nest! that’s what it was called!
“found it! let’s go.” you told him walking back toward the parking lot. you climbed in his car sitting in the passenger seat as he climbed into the driver's seat.
“send me the location,” he demanded.
“a please would be nice.” you shot back pressing airdrop to send him the location.
he scoffed. “oh no i’ve been driving you around all day and i bought you ice cream.”
“doesn’t mean you can be a bitch.” you were pretending to be preoccupied on your phone. “and not to mention you quite literally dragged me into your car.”
“oh whatever i did not drag you, i just threatened you.” he smiled.
“oh yeah that’s better!” you sarcastically threw back.
after that, the drive was quiet and not at all long. you just noticed once you got more to the other side of town it was different.
“right here. pull into the parking.” you pointed.
“right alright chill,” he said turning the wheel in that direction.
“well you were gonna miss it.” you snorted.
“no i wasn’t,” he said in a way you could tell he was.
he put the car in park and cut the ignition. then you both got out.
“i’m so hungry let’s go.” steven groaned.
“yeah, i bet. you only ate the whole boardwalk.” you joked. steven shoved you playfully as you both walked inside looking for a table.
once you found one you sat down and looked at the menu. your mouth was watering when you took sight of the wings. your stomach saw it too apparently because it growled.
“looks like i’m not the only one who’s hungry.” steven smiled down at his menu then only moved his eyes to look at you.
you hated how good he looked right now.
“shut up. that’s why you literally look like-”
“hi what can i get you two?” the server spoke.
you knew what exactly you were ordering but you wanted to look for a drink.
“hey can i get the smoked salmon and the shrimp appetizer and oh! also pair that with an unsweetened iced tea,” steven ordered.
“unsweetened iced tea? maniac” you spoke.
the server laughed. a quite attractive laugh, actually.
“perfect and you?” the server then asked you.
“hi, can i get a…” you looked up to look at the server but you were interrupted. not by anyone but by who you saw.
you didn’t know him but he was extremely attractive.
“a…” the server waited starting to smile.
“sorry uh…a- i mean the wings please and then an unsweetened iced tea but can you put two sugar packets inside. thank you…” you bit your lip nervously closing the menu.
“yeah of course, your food will be right out beautiful,” he said walking away.
oh my god.
beautiful? your heart was beating out of your chest.
you didn’t know but steven felt a pang in his chest.
“anyways…that was weird,” he said and then started up a conversation.
you conversed, made jokes and jabs at each other, laughed, and ate but somehow the server was still on your mind.
too bad it was just a one-and-done conversation.
so you thought…
the next day
gosh, you were sweating.
you were currently at the country club sitting at one of the stools next to the bar area of the pool which wasn’t really a bar but whatever.
you were waiting for a server to give you a beloved icee. you needed it asap.
“yo! jj, you’re on im going on break!” the server who took your order shouted.
but…what about my icee.
“alright man have a fun break.” you heard back.
the voice sounded familiar. way familiar.
“remember, the ladies don’t dig the hair net. ditch it.” the guy told this so-called jj.
he laughed.
that laugh, it made your heart jump. you’ve heard that laugh before.
“icee for y/n?” the server, jj, called.
you paused before speaking now wanting to embarrass yourself. “yeah here.”
you made eye contact with him.
he was way more beautiful up close. his blonde hair flowed with the breeze that was coming in. the light smile he wore.
“you’re the girl from yesterday. the unsweetened iced tea hater,” he said sliding you the icee.
“y-yeah that’s um that’s me haha,” you said back nervously.
“i don’t like unsweetened iced tea either but don’t tell your boyfriend i said that.” he gives another smile.
i cannot let this man think i’m taken.
“my boyfriend…? oh you mean steven. yeah no. he’s not my boyfriend.” you looked down at the slowly melting icee.
“oh really? you guys seemed really close.” he shrugged tapping his fingers on the counter.
“yeah no we’re just really good family friends.” this was really getting awkward.
“so you’re single?” woah not awkward anymore.
“yeah, i am actually. it’s weird i’ve never seen you around here before. do you live in cousins?” you tried making conversation.
“no actually, i uh…” he cleared his throat. “i live sort of across the little marsh area. i just come here for work because i make a lot.”
“oh, that’s smart. well…will you be here all summer?” you tried asking with a flirtatious tone.
you’re sure he picks up on it because he grins pulling his eye contact on my face to the floor.
“will you?” he rose a brow.
“yeah, why not.” you shrugged.
“then yes i will.” as soon as he said those last words that was the beginning of something and you didn’t know what to expect.
july — a month later
“shhh you gotta be quiet.” jj whispered as he was dragging you somewhere.
you tried to stifle your giggles as much as possible while also trying to keep up with him. you tightened your grip on his hand as you ran through the country club halls.
after you and jj had met officially, you were going to the country club every day just to see him.
at first, you guys would just be talking day by day. after the first week you guys started texting; very flirty but also getting to know each other on another level. on the third week he kissed you while you were walking and exploring the club.
on the third week, you guys hit the closet where the country club kept all the party supplies like tablecloths and such. what did you guys do?
kiss. lots of kissing.
and today you expected it to happen again.
jj looked around to check if anyone was around before opening the door and dragging you in.
he closed, locked it, and turned around.
“you’re so beautiful y/n.” he whispered pulling you close and connecting your lips. “can’t get enough of you.”
you kissed back wholeheartedly. you’d really been liking spending time with him. only by knowing him for a short period of time, he’s easily become one of your favorite people to talk to.
“you’re the beautiful one,” you whisper against his lips. his cheeks got redder when he pulled back for a second. he then smiled at you and pulled you in for a harsher kiss causing you to gasp.
you didn’t know how loud you were being until there was a jiggle of the door handle.
“who’s in there?” someone said but not just anyone. steven. it was steven’s voice.
you didn’t know what to do so you stayed silent.
“i’m not dumb i heard you. whoever’s in there come out right now before i call security,” he demanded. oh god. this is not good.
“we gotta go out.” jj said grabbing your hand.
he opened the door and walked you both out.
your head stayed down trying not to make eye contact.
“y/n?” steven said. you looked up and he was paler than usual. “what the fuck?” he looked at jj. you could see the anger that was building up inside him.
“it’s not what it looks like. we weren’t doing anything bad in there.” you quickly defended yourself.
“oh so i’m just supposed to believe that you weren’t fucking a worker.” he seethed. he ran a hand through his hair and paced back and forth.
“we weren’t doing anything i just told you!” your voice rose.
“we really weren’t.” jj spoke up.
“no no, you shut the fuck up.” he cursed at jj. “and you…you are coming with me. let’s go. i’m taking you home.”
“what?! no. i’m not going home with you and you’re not in charge of me.” you shouted standing closer to jj still holding his hand.
“oh yeah? i don’t think his boss would be delighted to hear about this altercation. come with me now.” he warned.
fuck, you didn’t want jj to lose his job.
you looked at jj who didn’t seem intimidated but more like defeat.
“fine.” you spoke to steven while still keeping eye contact with jj. “i’m going to go but i’ll text you.”
he nodded and you didn’t know whether or not to kiss him even though you really wanted to.
you and steven walked out of the building steven striding towards his car at a fast pace. you were annoyed with him. why was he being such a jerk?
you both climbed in the car and for a second you thought he was just going to be quiet the whole time but then he spoke.
“y/n, what the hell. like actually what the hell.” he turned toward you.
“what? am i not allowed to have a boyfriend?” jj wasn’t your boyfriend but he was close.
steven gulped. “so he’s your boyfriend.”
“no but still what gives you the right to order me around and completely embarrass me in front of someone i like.” you defended.
“oh so now you like him.” he emphasized. what was he talking about?
“what are you talking about why are you saying it like that.” you were annoyed.
“oh no nothing it’s not like we’ve liked each other for so long,” he said sarcastically.
we?
“what are you saying right now? we? what do you mean we?” you were trying to understand.
“we as in us as in you and me. y/n i’ve been liking you for a long time now so i don’t understand what you’re doing,” he confessed as if you knew or could tell.
“you…no, you don’t.” you shook your head. you felt the familiar feeling of your throat closing up. you did not want to cry so you tried holding it in.
“yes i have and i still do and you’re over here completely disregarding it?” he questioned. as soon as he said that your emotions changed. you were angry.
you were angry at the fact that he was making you feel bad for how you felt. angry because he didn’t do anything about it sooner. angry because you felt all of the blame was being put on you.
“disregarding it?!” you raised your voice. “steven, i have tried my very fucking hardest not to be fucking heartbroken every time you disregarded me. i know you knew i had the biggest crush on you. for years i’ve admired you and looked up to you and my biggest fucking dream was for you to confess something for me. to reciprocate those feelings back but all i got were comments about girls from back home or…or something to do with ‘oh this girl is so fine’ and i got sick of it. i waited and waited for you to say something but nothing happened. i’m done waiting for you to fess up and i will not be blamed for moving on.” you were crying now. hot tears streaming down your cheeks.
steven was quiet. he knew he was wrong. he knew he took advantage of you and he knew you were right. he couldn’t blame you for moving on when he did nothing about his feelings toward you but make you feel less confident in yourself.
the car was silent. only sniffles and short breaths were being heard. until he broke the silence.
“i’m sorry.” his voice cracked. he regretted not making you his. he regretted not confessing his feelings and he regretted making you cry and he’ll live with that
after a few seconds, you spoke again.
“i hope so because with that i am ready to move on. i don’t want shit to be weird but i’m ready. i can’t keep pining after you. i really like him and i’m sorry if those words bother you but it’s true. i want you to find someone and for the longest time imagining that was one of the hardest things to do but now the thought doesn’t even bother me and i am so proud of that.” your tears were dry and a weight has been lifted off of your chest.
“i understand, i never wanted to hurt you.” he said. “i want you to be happy y/n and if that means pursuing him then i’m happy for you.”
you smiled. “thank you”
“you know i love you right and i want to see you happy?” he told you.
you nodded. “and you know i love you and wanna see you happy?”
“of course.” he grinned.
“crazy. heartbreak and healed all in what? ten minutes?” you laughed.
“sounds about right.” he sighed. “go back. he’s probably freaking out thinking i’m going to get him fired.”
you nodded opening the door. “i’ll see you at home.”
“see you.” he waves.
holy fuck.
#✮ ⋆˙ 𝑾𝑰𝑳𝑳𝑶𝑾#steven conklin x reader#jj maybank#jj obx imagine#jj maybank x reader#steven conklin imagine#outer banks x reader#tsitp
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RE: LOVE & LIFE | THREE
— THOSE WHO SHARE THE MEMORY
SERIES MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER
PAIRING(S): zhongli x f! reader + diluc x f! wife! reader
SUMMARY: As the wife of the famous big shot in the wine industry, you have everything you could ever ask for — a beautiful mansion, endless wealth, servants at your beck and call... However, you lack the one thing you yearn for: love. With your beloved husband neglecting you and being stuck in a loveless marriage, you decide to end it all, only to be stopped by a man whom you have never met before, and who also coincidentally happens to be your soulmate. In addition, there just might seem to be more than what meets the eye in regards to your peculiar soulmate, and you just might have to find that out for yourself.
CW(S)/TW(S): contains mentions of suicide attempts
TAGLIST (italicised blogs are unable to be tagged, pls dm me with your updated username): @crescentmoonnn + @deeomi + @esthelily + @holaseniorahoe + @loving-august + @mshope16 + @needsleep3000 + @nerdiel-has-no-braincells + @saintbernardthethird + @seyboo + @thelonelyarchon
A/N: apologies for the wait, uni has been kicking my ass (i'm in my final year of bachelor's rn! wahoo!) which made my brain go to a stalemate for a while. bUTTT i've recently finished tale of the nine-tailed which caused my brain to spur into action again (everyone say thanku to lee dongwook)! without further ado, pls enjoy!
You were presently seated in the Third-Round Knockout, a Liyuen restaurant which was famed for its gorgeous dishes which had a mouth-watering taste. Zhongli was seated diagonally across you to your left and Ajax in front of you. It was an odd combination, really, having a meal together with your business associate and your soulmate in a fancy, high-end restaurant.
From the corner of your eye, you notice Zhongli's direct gaze on you. It was zeroed in on you, making it seem like he was scrutinising every square inch of your face, and yet it made you feel warm all over, making you feel... embarrassed, somehow? You could only take small sips out of your cup of tea, careful as to not burn your tongue.
(Your tongue, or your cheeks, either one was applicable in this situation.)
"Are you familiar with Mr. Zhongli's practice, Mrs. Ragnvindr?"
Ajax's voice pulled you out of your thoughts.
"I'm afraid not." Oh no, was your mind preoccupied with other thoughts while Ajax was talking? "Could you elaborate on it?"
"I should let Mr. Zhongli do the talking instead," Ajax said, "It's better for him to explain his job scope."
"I am a consultant at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlour," Zhongli spoke, "And I simply give people suggestions on how to proceed with their funeral preparations and which packages would best suit their needs. We have a variety of packages for everyone's needs, thanks to Director Hu's business-savvy mindset."
"I wouldn't have expected you to be a funeral parlour consultant," you said, smiling candidly at him, "If anything, I thought you would be an art museum director of sorts."
"He does look the part, doesn't he?" Ajax said with a laugh, "I once mistook him as a CEO of some sort the first time I met him."
"Oh, I understand what you mean," you laughed, "It's in the way he carries himself."
"And the fancy choice of words, too," Ajax chimed in, "That's not all: he's so unusually knowledgeable about every topic!"
"You flatter me," Zhongli shook his head with a smile, "I simply have a good memory."
"Excellent memory, you mean," Ajax corrected him almost immediately, "Anyone would kill for that kind of brainpower. Remember the time you gave advice to that one Fontanian guy who pivoted into film-making? He immediately made a whole lot of money with his debut film!"
You raised your eyebrows. If Zhongli was even adept at advising a novice filmmaker, perhaps he had some good suggestions for your new business plan you had in mind.
"Mr. Zhongli," the dark-haired man immediately turned his head towards your direction as soon as you called his name, "If you would be so kind, I would like to hear your opinion on my business plan."
He straightened his back slightly and interlaced his fingers together, interest piqued as his entire body was turned to face you as he spoke, "Sure, I am all ears."
"This is the business plan I had in mind, which is in collaboration with the Fatui Network..." You launched into your spiel, mapping out the business plan you had in mind (which all of the details had already been discussed with Ajax beforehand), and Zhongli listened attentively. After you were done speaking, there was a brief moment of silence.
"This is indeed a well thought-out plan, but could I make a few minor suggestions?" Zhongli asked.
You nodded, "Please feel free to do so, the floor is yours."
Zhongli began to speak his mind, pointing out what particular flaws and loopholes your business plan might have concerning your consumer base in a respectful and straightforward manner, and what particular negative repercussions might be incurred. You thought Ajax was bluffing when he said Zhongli was insightful; Zhongli was pretty much a wise sage speaking with all the knowledge Teyvat could possibly even offer. If he were a movie character, he would be the wise old pilgrim living at the top of some snowy, out-of-reach mountain that the main character had to climb for months just to reach him.
"...That is all I have to offer, and you might want to take my thoughts with a grain of salt," Zhongli concluded his verbalised thoughts, picking up his teacup again.
"No, what you've just said makes complete sense," you shook your head, "I'll adjust a couple of points on my end. Thank you for your insight, it was really helpful!"
As if right in cue, the food that Ajax had ordered arrived and was served on the table.
"Let's dig in, shall we?" Ajax grinned, and you mirrored his smile and dug your chopsticks into your bowl of noodles as a response.
Ajax left as soon as brunch concluded, scurrying off to pay for the meal first and apologising for leaving first due to urgent business matters.
So that left you and Zhongli alone, standing outside the restaurant.
"Are you heading back to the hotel, Mrs. Ragnvindr?" Zhongli asked, hands situated round his back.
The sun was shining in the sky, but it was not unbearably hot. On the contrary, it was warm and inviting, perfect for an afternoon walk.
You shook your head, "I was planning to go for a stroll. Would you like to join me?"
The man smiled as his eyes softened, "It would be my pleasure."
You and Zhongli walked along the roads of Liyue's capital, taking in the bustling chatter of people and the busy city life. Vehicles were whirring past the both of you, and the rays of the sun ricochetted off the glass panels of the buildings. Somehow, doing something as simple as going on a promenade was much more fulfilling than doing work back home.
"Oh, look! Roadside stalls!" your eyes brightened as you spotted a couple of stalls set up by the road, with old women managing them and selling a variety of trinkets. Without hesitation, you made a beeline towards the stalls, eyes scanning through the products on display. Zhongli joined you soon after, peering past your shoulder to peruse through the items on sale.
"It's nice to see you, Zhongli," a welcoming, gentle voice spoke, causing both you and Zhongli to look up. It was an old woman with her silver hair tied up into a low bun, and a pair of round-rimmed spectacles perched on her nose.
"The pleasure is mine, Street — ahem, Madam Ping," Zhongli returned the greeting.
"Ah, and who's this young lady you've brought along with you?" Madam Ping's eyes shifted over to you, and for a split second, you could see some sort of surprised expression in her eyes. However, it was fleeting and was quickly replaced by a warm gaze and a complementary, friendly smile.
"She is an... acquaintance of mine," Zhongli explained.
"It's nice to meet you," you smiled and gave a little bow (It's customary in Liyuen tradition for younger people to bow in greeting to the older folk, you remembered), then refocused your gaze on the items on display, "You have wonderful wares on display, ma'am."
"Take your pick, child," Madam Ping smiled, then bent over to whisper, "As Zhongli's friend, you're entitled to take one for free."
Your eyes widened into the size of saucers, "Oh, no, I can't do that! You're running a business here; I wouldn't want to make you lose any profit!"
"I insist," Madam Ping shook her head, then nodded towards Zhongli, "He doesn't have a whole lot of friends, so I'm happy to know he's made a new one. I guess you can say this is a little bribe from me to convince you to stay friends with him."
While you really thought you should not be imposing and picking out something for free, you knew you would offend this sweet old lady if you turned her offer down. With a smile and dejected shake of your head, you said, "Alright, then."
Madam Ping brightened almost immediately and you went about the stall, browsing through the wares, discreetly looking at the price tags and trying to pick the cheapest one so that you would not be the first step into driving this poor woman into bankruptcy (or whatever it would be).
Madam Ping shifted over to Zhongli and lowered her voice down to a whisper, "So, it seems you've found her again in this life."
Zhongli hummed.
"This is her last life, isn't it?"
Zhongli nodded, a bittersweet smile taking over his features.
Madam Ping studied his facial expression before speaking again, "You don't seem that happy to know that she's one step closer to reuniting with you."
Zhongli shook his head, "I am beyond delighted to know that she is not too far from reincarnating again and spending her next life forever with me, but..." Zhongli frowned before continuing, "I cannot help but wonder if that is exactly what she wants in her next life is all."
Madam Ping mirrored Zhongli's expression, but in a curious manner, "What makes you say that?"
"I was never her lover in any of her past incarnations," Zhongli explain in a slow manner, as if recalling an archaic tale from long ago, "I had always been a friend, a companion to her. In one of those lives, she told me that she never wanted to live her life like that, having me by her side."
He could remember it as clear as day. The day he saved you from drowning, his body completely drenched in seawater. The fabric of his clothes was clinging to his skin and his hair was tousled and damp. Your skin was pale and your lower lip was trembling, but most importantly, your eyes were filled with tears and you were hitting his body repeatedly.
"Why did you save me?" you wept as your fists struck his chest weakly, "You should've just left me to die!"
"I would never want to see you give up on yourself," he whispered as he swept a stray lock of hair out of your face.
You lowered your head and gripped his clothes, "Did it never occur to you that this was not the life that I wanted?" You raised your head to look at him directly in the eye, a sort of sad fury burning behind your eyes, "In this life, or in any other life, I've never wanted you by my side."
It was a painful yet memorable moment that haunted him every waking hour. Perhaps he had been wrong to even make that contract in the first place. All of this happened because of his selfish desire to see you again, to meet you again, to just stand by your side for another day. He had never once thought about what you wanted. And so, that day woke him up from his self-centered fantasy and caused him to question all his choices. Maybe he should have just let you leave and not hold you back. Perhaps that was what you wanted in the very beginning.
Madam Ping frowned, "I'm sure that's not what she meant. You know she's got a tender spot for you."
Zhongli lowered his head and stared at his gloved hands, "I hope that holds true, Streetward Rambler."
"Ma'am! I've found something!" your voice plucked the two old friends out of their little bubble of conversation, and both of them turned to look at you. You were waving at them, a smile in place as your other hand was holding something small in your palm. You looked so carefree and happy, and Zhongli could only hope you would stay this way forever.
"Don't worry too much, Rex Lapis," Madam Ping whispered as she gave the man a gentle pat on the arm, "I know she wouldn't blame you for your choices."
As the old woman walked off to talk to you and package your procured item into a small wooden box, Zhongli could only hope and pray that Madam Ping's words rang true.
#💫—re: love & life#💫—qq writes#writeblr#writing#zhongli x reader#zhongli x y/n#zhongli x yn#zhongli x you#zhongli#genshin impact zhongli#genshin zhongli#diluc x reader#diluc x y/n#diluc x yn#diluc x you#diluc#genshin impact diluc#genshin diluc#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact x y/n#genshin impact x yn#genshin impact x you#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin x y/n#genshin x yn#genshin x you#genshin
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❃ Pick-a-card: Tea of Empowerment ❃
I hope this PAC find you well. My 3rd pick-a-card reading. This pick a card is about self empowerment. Pick a tea and let spirits/the divine tell you how powerful you are. Sometimes, life can get disappointing and things don't work out the way you'd hoped and in those times you can start to doubt yourself and your abilities. So it is natural to be insecure in those low moments. But it is more important to acknowledge those insecurities, accept them and alchemise them into your greatest strength. I hope this reading will do just that. Pick from 1-4 and remember who you truly are.
P.S. I would be very grateful if you could tip me, only if you have the means to. It would encourages me to do more. Thank you so much.
Disclaimer: This is meant as entertainment only. Takes only what resonates.
My Master List.
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Pile 1: Oolong Tea 🐉 (Drinking this tea may help you hone your power, you can also look up benefits of this tea)
You are someone who is connected to yourself. You know what it is that truly matters in this life. Even though life do tempts you, you still won’t take it for granted. Instead, you acknowledge how precious life is for you and always try your best to have gratitude. Even in discontentment, you still acknowledge the support you have around you, both from the people and from spirits. When you go through creative blocks or lacking in motivation, you don’t shame yourself for it. Through conflicts and confusions, even if everyone was against you, you are never against yourself. That’s what makes you powerful pile 1 and spirits are admiring you for this mindset.
Further more, you do not inflict pain to oneself or others. In the darkest times, where it seems like it would never end, you still believe in better days. Even if people around you do bring you chaos and try to take your hope from you. You still stand strong, that is your power. You don’t become jaded and you don’t think you are better than other people even if they did become jaded. You feel for them and hope that they will find their way again. You are very kind and very humble which makes you a powerful being. You are also always protected by other beings from other realms (Spirit guides, Angels, etc,).
In addition, in the mist of chaos, you can actually juggle it very well because of your organisational skills and what to prioritise. Even if sometimes you stumble, you’d always know how to get back to balance. You deal with the chaos of change really well and you also know how to balance work and rest so you won’t end up burning out. Like mentioned previously, you know what it is that truly matters in life. You go towards what you need and won’t let immature emotions (self-doubts, fears, ego, etc.,) getting in the way.
Spirits want to say that they are proud of you for working towards your personal growth. Even if it is uncomfortable and unfamiliar, know that you have their support. Any doubts or fears you have, you can send them over to your spirit guides for guidance. You can ask them for help and be receptive to those guidance. You are moving through the discomfort, for example; quitting a job, choosing a new career path or ending a relationship, know that it is because you want to grow. Even if your family, friends or whoever it is do not support your decision, know that you do and that’s what’s matter. You’re someone who’s not afraid to do the necessary work to develop true confidence and a sense of self. That’s is your personal power and it is very empowering.
Ultimately, as you continue to walk this path of personal growth, you would/will have the power to transform karma and become your best and brightest self. You will not back down from challenges and face the unknown head on because you will know that in both physicality and spiritually, you are strong. There's no obstacle you cannot overcome. You are the truth seeker who will harness the power that prevail all because you follow your heart.
Advice: 49. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDLY. Express your love through actions. It could be for someone you love or for yourself.
Mood board for pile 1.
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Pile 2: Chamomile Tea 🌼 (Drinking this tea may help you hone your power, you can also look up benefits of this tea)
Pile 2, you are someone who has a clear vision. You know what you want, your dreams and your desires. Your strong vision and clarity makes you one of the most powerful manifestors. Without clouds, without doubts, you solidify your truest dreams. You would never let anyone or anything stand in the way of your dreams. You are someone who is decisive and when you make up your mind, there is no stopping you. It is very powerful if you decide to go towards your dreams. For example, if you dream of becoming an actor/actress, you will not give up until you achieve it.
You won't just see the rose-coloured view of that dream/goal either. You see both sides, the ideal and the reality. You face the truth no matter how hard it is. And by accepting and admitting your wildest dream/wish you don't deny yourself the truth. This mindset makes you have that eternal hope and nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Another power that you have is the ability to overcome obstacles. If time is one of your obstacles, you will overcome that too. You know that you don't work alone, you know that you are co-creating with the universe. You are someone who is loyal and dedicated to the things that you decide to work on whether it'd be work or personal/relationship growth. But you don't take on unnecessary burdens and grip on too tight onto these goals.
Your patience is one of the most powerful tools and time would only reveal the rewards of your hard work. Even if you don't have the necessary tools/knowledge to do something, you don't give up but you will wait for the right opportunities to gather the necessary tools to continue cultivating your empire.
Another power you hold is that you have an open mind, even if you know what you want, you are not too rigid in your thinking. You don't think that you are always right, you will listen to others opinions and suggestions. You don't listen only to your mind but your heart as well. You are not too stubborn to the point where it will hinder your growth, no, your thoughts are flexible but not too easily sway or tempted.
The things that you strive for, the things that you hold dear i.e. your truest wish, they are not shallow or superficial. It is not just status, money or material gain. It is more than that, it is your purpose, your calling, a part of your soul essence. It is a journey towards your truest self, your home, cultivating a sense of self-trust. This is your power.
You are connected to the deeper truths of life, no matter where it will leads, you are not afraid to take. The life experience and knowledge you collect along the way will be your greatest achievements and it will help tell your story. You understand that whatever you are going through, it is part of life, part of a great story and you are the main protagonist.
And finally, your perception is your greatest assets, your mind becomes your most powerful tool as you are on your way to the highest enlightenment letting go of egotistic mindset. With your ability to see the truth clearly and the courage to pursue your passion makes you the most powerful creative being, expressing your creativity and desire without shame and guilt because you honour your expression.
Advice: 40. BE IN THE PRESENT AND DREAM OF THE FUTURE. When we dream, everything is possible.
Mood board for pile 2.
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Pile 3: Peppermint tea 🌿 (Drinking this tea may help you hone your power, you can also look up benefits of this tea)
For pile 3, you overcome a lot of hardship and obstacles. You always come out of hard times victoriously. Like a warrior coming back from wars, you manage to win every battles and you win them with fairness and integrity. What makes you powerful is when you are in a difficult situation or a dark period of your life, you do not jeopardise your morality. There is honour in how you fight demons. You don't stoop low to their level and get your hands dirty. Most importantly, you don't let yourself become jaded and apathetic. You always look back at those dark times with gratitude.
What makes you more powerful is your foresight, you'd always see a better future so you don't dwell too much on the past. You are certain that it is only up from here and you will do anything to recover lifting your spirit. You battle your negative emotions with your sharp mind and perception bringing in the clarity needed. Nothing can cloud your judgement when you have the knowledge and experience. Every lessons learned are tools under your belt for future victories. There is nothing you can't conquer and you know this. Unlike others, you don't give yourself a hard times, there is only room for constructive criticism, never unnecessary reprimanding. This trait makes you powerful avoiding unneeded self victimisation and self pity.
Another trait that makes you powerful is that you are in your power, you are complete. You feel home within yourself, you acknowledge this and celebrate this. You worked on yourself, confronted your shadows and the deep hidden wounds from the past. You delve into the dark and face your fears where you address your anxiety with kindness, reasons and acceptance. You address your self doubts with reassurance. You are not afraid to look yourself in the mirror and accept who it is that you see in front of you. You accept yourself for who you are, destroying the guilt and the shame that was place upon you by external influences.
You are not afraid to see and confront what fears is holding you back. You would find out if it's the fear of abandonment, fear of success, or both or other types of fears that have been hindering you. You would bring awareness and illuminate the type of fear you are dealing with then you would take the next practical step and work through those fears. Thus, once you know what fear to confront, you will work on it patiently and persistently and would come out victorious.
And sometime, you might even have fun with doing these shadow work. These darkness fuel your creativity, your life's poetry metaphorically or literally if you are a writer. Because you know darkness, you can appreciate the light and life is much more flavourful.
What makes you even more powerful is when you are in your lowest of lows, you never lost your loving nature. A beauty from both within and radiating outwards. People around you love this sense of grace and calmness you exudes. With so much hardness in this world, you brought a sense of softness and tenderness that is full of gentleness and compassion. Because you hold the wisdom of the divine within you, you know that you are part of the divine, the universe's will. Divinity runs through your vein.
Your faith in the higher power makes you hone your power and align to your higher self. A strong relationship exists between you and the divine. A strong third eye, you see beyond this dimension, this timeline. You see into the future, again, your foresight is highlighted, with your strong intellect and intuition. You are powerful because you know you hold the deepest wisdom and you are not afraid to use them.
Advice: 13. MIRACLES AND BLESSING. Everything has its gift. Recognise and accept the blessings that have occurred in your life.
Mood board for pile 3.
❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃
❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃
Pile 4: Black Tea 🌑 (Drinking this tea may help you hone your power, you can also look up benefits of this tea)
Pile 4, you went through so much hardships and burdens. The journey had been difficult. It made you feel like you've been climbing up a mountain carrying heavy rocks. These responsibility and burdens you're carrying, most of it is not even yours. There are too much responsibility you've taken or someone has given to you that is making your connection with your intuition a bit hard to access. You have a powerful intuition and strong psychic wisdom pile 4. But to be able to access it you have to sit in stillness, sit in silence and listen. Put down those misplaced burdens and instead of climbing, it is time to fly.
It is always those who are the most powerful that tend to suppress their power because they know subconsciously the influence and impact they hold, could do to themselves and to the people around them. With that being said, I can see that you are a very powerful being but most of your powers are hidden. Whether subconsciously or consciously, you kept your power hidden. You actually have psychic power that allows you to see potential futures. But you might suppress this because it scares you. Before, you'd only see 'bad' futures. These 'bad' futures you saw might be a result of the people surrounding you. Your environment may be full of pessimistic and negative people and their self fulfilling prophecy. That is not favourable in term of how it would influence and affects your psychic ability. However, if you actually try to see your predictions for what it is, you will be able to predict more realistic futures that are not so extremely 'good' or 'bad' but more factual and genuine.
What makes you powerful is that you have the potential to envision the future, like a visionary, you get a peak into the unknown. You can see potential futures where all your goals and desires come true. A way of life you always wanted to live. But your insight is not shortcoming. In addition to the vision, you also posses the ability and capability to critically assess those views. These skills would ground your vision and materialise them into the 3D.
You are honest with yourself and others about these visions you see. You'd know if it's just a groundless dream or a potential one. You'd observe your surrounding, your present moment, actions, details, and patterns. These clues aids you to asses if the vision you see can come true. This makes you powerful, therefore, your judgement have never been wrong, both the good ones and the not so good ones. Your judgement have always been right whether the people around you listen or not, you are always right. Sometime spooking people, they might think that you can actually see the future which genuinely, you can.
Whether people believe you or not, that's not your problem. You know yourself and over time you learn to trust your own judgement and discern accurately what's to come. These help you to be ready and adapt to take on whatever that will transpire while also simultaneously accessing alternate future outcomes that may be better. It is very hard to blind sided you pile 4 and that makes you powerful.
Your discernment is also what makes you powerful. You don't give away your time, your love or your energy easily. Now you know better, people need to earn your energy with respect and gratitude. Even though your cup of love is pure and authentic, it is very exclusive and hard to come by. If people are overlooking it then it is their loss. However, not only that it is hard for you to love, the opposite is also true. It's hard for you to 'unlove' as well. If you deem that person is worth your love you will be very loyal, 'do or die' type of energy. You would stick to that person till the end, never letting them go no matter what happens. This makes you a powerful friend and frightening enemy.
Another trait that makes you powerful is your enthusiasm for life. You are self-reliant and can handle hard challenges with ease. That may be why people come to you with their burdens. Again, do not take it if you don't want to. You are an independent, responsible individual who takes care of your own things. In truth, you carry so much wisdom within and can achieve far in this life. You might love travelling and have a lust for faraway lands. You heal and impact a lot of people that come into contact with you. You help ease their burdening path with your light and playful energy redirecting them towards a more favourable futures potentials.
But people tend to underestimate your impact and intelligent, thus, please remember not to underestimate your own power. Know this, most people you meet, they would need you more than you would need them. It's because you are so capable alone, literally, you can reach the stars. But because you are kind and you understand the law of oneness, you are willing to help those in need. Therefore, your existence alone is already very powerful.
Lastly, it is very important for you to release and lessen your load more. You are a strong and capable person who can take on a lot but that doesn't mean you should. Self-care, self prioritisation, rest and rejuvenation is very important for you and would make your power more potent.
Advice: 21. CHOOSE LOVE. You always have choice - make yours with love. It is because you are very powerful being, your choice have more weight and impact on those around you.
Advice: 9. SLOW DOWN. Pause and allow things to unfold.
Mood board for pile 4.
❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃
❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃
#pick a card#divination#channeled message#message#power#powerful#witch#witchblr#tarot reading#tarot community#tarot#tarotblr#self empowerment#creative writing#creative projects#creativity
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The Marriage Pact Part 5 (Slight NSFW)
In Sickness and in Health
A/N: Buckle up this is a LONG one 🤭
Synopsis: You get some advice from Urban and confront Jack about how he's been acting towards you once you leave him high and dry in the middle of his world tour. All you want is for the two of you to be on the same page, but when something gets revealed to you, you have to decide what is the best thing for your peace of mind moving forward
Pairing: Fiance!Jack Harlow x Fiancée!Reader
Series Masterlist
Special thank you to @hoodharlow for giving me a few ideas 💕
Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere
"Baby, it's not a big deal!" Jack said once you had finally caught up with him later in the day since the text had gone unanswered.
The text bubble kept appearing and disappearing for about five minutes before Jack just stopped trying to explain it over text knowing that it wasn't going to go over well. But now that you were in front of him, it wasn't going well now either.
"How is it not a big deal when you are basically all over her!?" You asked as you shoved your phone into Jack’s face that had the picture of him and Neelam and all he did was roll his eyes. Making you think that he wasn't taming anything that you were saying seriously.
"It is literally just a picture."
"With someone that I don't even like and I told you how I felt about her and what do you do? Take a picture with her while you're half naked."
"Your jealousy is showing again." Jack simply muttered and you couldn’t do anything but roll your eyes.
"Oh, I'm going to be showing a lot more than that if you don't get your fucking shit together. And it's not jealousy. It is literally about respecting me as your partner and who is about to be your wife! Or did you suddenly forget that you put this ring on my finger?"
"I didn't forget a damn thing and I have my shit together, it's you who is so damn insecure. So every woman that I take a picture with, you think I want to sleep with them knowing that I have you? You're it for me and I don't want anyone else. I don't know how many times I have to tell you that."
All you did was stare at him. Once he had called you insecure, you didn't hear anything else after that.
He knew that saying that would hurt you based on you telling him that your ex would constantly say that and would gaslight you into thinking that everything that went wrong in the relationship was your fault and wouldn't take accountability for what he had done wrong.
"Shit, baby, I didn't….." Jack started to say as he realized what he had said previously and was trying to backtrack, but you weren't having it.
All you did was hug yourself as you stepped away from him. It was something that you had been working on and you knew that it was going to take time in order to break out of that mindset.
"Y/N, I didn't mean that and I know how…"
"If you didn't mean it then you wouldn't have said it. I have things to do so I guess I'll see you later." You said while trying to turn away from him, but he pulled you back.
"Baby, just listen to me for a second. Please." Jack pleaded with you as he grabbed your hand, but a verbal answer didn't come out of your mouth until you knew he wasn't going to let this go.
"No, I'm not doing this with you right now."
"We don't run away from our problems, we talk about them."
"Wouldn't have to talk about them if you didn't keep creating them."
That instantly made him go quiet.
"We just wanted to take a picture. That was it."
All you did was stare at him before you even bothered to respond.
"Like I said, I guess I'll see you later."
"Baby, I'm sorry, okay? If I would have known that you would be this upset about it, I wouldn't have done it."
"Why wouldn't you think I would be this upset seeing as she definitely isn't my favorite person to be around? And I don't like her being around you so much." You asked while looking up at him.
"Here we go again with this shit. It is literally HER JOB."
"A job that I have had for how many years? And all of a sudden you and Chris decided that I need help?"
"How many times are we going to go over this?" Jack asked you while running a hand through his curls.
"As many times as it takes to get through your thick skull because obviously it hasn't worked quite yet." You answered while sitting down, but Jack took this opportunity to sit down next to you and slide you onto his lap no matter how hard you were trying to get away from him.
"I love you, you know that right? And like I said, I'm sorry and it won't happen again."
"Do I?"
"Y/N, come on. Don't be like that."
"How can I not be like that?"
"Like I said it won't happen again and I'm not letting you get up until you tell me you love me."
"I love you, now let me get up."
"I…. seriously?" Jack asked as he looked at you and all you did was shrug.
"I told you now I have things to do. Let me go."
"Hold on. What can I do to make this up to you?" He asked as he kissed your nose and smiled at you with those blue eyes that you loved so much.
All you did was look down and play with your engagement ring and kept quiet until you heard Jack speak again.
"How about it's just me and you for the rest of the day? No distractions."
"Hmm…."
"No phones, just me loving up on my baby girl. So what do you say?"
"No interruptions?" You asked and all Jack did was smirk.
"Baby, I'm putting the do not disturb sign on the door to the hotel suite and putting my phone on DND. Is that a good answer?"
"I guess it's a good start." You said while shrugging even though deep down you knew for a fact that you were letting this slide a little too easily. However, arguing and fighting with Jack was one of the last things that you ever wanted to do. It took too much energy and if he said that it wasn't going to happen again, you were going to take his word for it. All you could do was hope that he didn't go back on it.
"Good because I already have everything set up. I was going to do this today anyway, just as a thank you for everything you do for me. That's why I had you go out with Ari earlier."
"I… you didn't have to do that." You said while shaking your head as Jack stood up and placed you on your feet.
"Yes I did. You're important to me and I never want you to forget that. We're in this for the long haul." Jack answered as he leaned down to kiss you.
"No one or anything is ever going to come between us because I'm not going to let them." He added while starting to pull your top over your head.
"I want to take a bath with my fiancée, how does that sound?"
"It sounds good. No complaints from me."
Jack simply nodded as he continued to undress you and finally got himself undressed as he went to run the water.
When it was warm enough, he got in first so that you would be able to sit in front of him and held onto your hand to help you so that you wouldn't fall.
Once you were settled all you did was lean against Jack's chest as he wrapped his arms around you and kissed down your neck.
"I love you and I'll never get tired of saying it." Jack softly whispered in your ear before kissing underneath it.
"I love you too. I just…. want us to be on the same page. I don't like arguing with you. I don't think we ever got into this many disagreements before."
"And I don't like arguing with you either or getting you upset. That's literally the last thing I want. My job is to take care of you and not hurt you. I haven't done a very good job of that lately, but I promise that things will be different moving forward."
"I'm holding you to that."
—
"Baby I…." You breathlessly let out as you and Jack got into a comfortable rhythm.
He promised to take his time with you and he was doing just that while also making sure that no one disturbed the two of you with both phones being placed on DND and face down on the dresser in the bedroom.
Jack then placed both of your legs on his shoulders making the hold that you had around his neck grow tighter.
"That's it, pretty girl. You're taking me so well." Jack said as he placed several kisses upon your lips and slowed down.
"You feel so good around me and I know I'm not about to last much longer."
Jack then slid out of you and took one long lick across your folds which instantly made you gasp.
"Mmm, baby don't stop, don't stop." You told Jack as your hands made their way to his curls and simply held his head in place while he continued to pleasure you.
"Shiiiit." Jack then inserted three of his fingers while still keeping his mouth on you and you were doing your best to stay quiet since the last thing you wanted to hear was a noise complaint because you were too loud. It didn't matter if you two had your own suite or not.
Jack then slid his fingers out of you and instantly went to suck on your clit and made sure to hold you down because he knew if he didn't that you would try and move away from him.
At this point, no sounds were even coming out of your mouth because of how much pleasure that you were in and it was only a matter of time before you came all over Jack’s face.
In order to get you to your peak faster, Jack sucked your clit harder and without warning, you felt a gush of liquid release from you and cover Jack’s face as you let out a gasp, but he obviously didn't think anything of it as he still continued to pleasure you.
Once you had finally come down from your high, Jack then slid back into you making the both of you moan in pleasure.
You then noticed him increase his pace as you held him tighter knowing that he was close.
Not even a minute later, you felt him release in you as he collapsed on top of your chest as you kissed down his neck.
"I don't know what I did to get you to squirt all over my face, but I'm definitely going to try to make it happen again." Jack said as he leaned down to kiss you and he noticed that you were shying away from him.
"What's wrong?" Jack asked as he began caressing your face.
"I just…."
"Nothing to be embarrassed about, baby. Just happens sometimes when I make you feel good. I know we're both still learning what you like and don't like and I'm always going to go at your pace, okay?"
All you did was nod as Jack leaned down to place several kisses all over your face before going to your lips and all you did was flip him over onto his back startling him.
"Damn, I knew you were strong but I wasn't expecting that shit." Jack expressed as he looked up at you straddling him.
"I want you to teach me how to ride you." You said and could tell that he was startled by this.
"Are you sure you can go another round? I don't want to…"
"Yes I'm sure, so hurry up."
"Class is in session then. I'm loving this view already."
A few days had passed and you were finalizing the details of the mini trip that you were taking Jack on to surprise him to give him a much needed break from tour life. He had a week and a half off in total and three of those days would be used to fly the two of you to Japan in order to take him to the Pokémon museum since you knew that he had never been before while the other days the two of you were going to spend wedding planning.
You told everyone under the sun not to book anything for Jack for those particular days and you were excited to be able to have him all to yourself. You had been planning this for a while and couldn't wait to see the look on his face when you told him.
All of you were at dinner after one of Jack’s shows and you had been stealing food off of his plate when you suddenly heard Neelam pipe up.
"Oh, Jack, I booked you for a photoshoot and interview next week. On Wednesday and Thursday."
"Okay, that's fine." He responded not thinking anything of it but you looked at her as if she had three heads.
"Um no it's not fine. I have said from the beginning of this tour to not book anything for the next week and a half. You should have cleared that with me or Chris, but I see you just went on and did your own thing."
"I didn't think it was a big deal. It's a good opportunity for him to get a few more things in before Christmas."
"Well it is a big deal seeing as the bulk of those days were for wedding planning and for something I had planned for him. I obviously said not to schedule him for anything during those days for a reason."
"Baby, it's not a big deal, can't you just move it?" Jack asked not wanting an argument to ensue, but it looked like one was about to happen anyway.
All because he took her side.
"Did you just say to me that it's not a big deal?" You asked while looking over at Jack who looked as if he was trying to choose his next words carefully.
"Uh oh." Was all Urban whispered before taking another bite of his food.
"We do things together all the time, it's just one thing and the wedding planning can still happen. I'd rather do the interview and photoshoot during my break from tour anyway. Just get it out the way."
"That still doesn't excuse the fact that Neelam over here is not staying in her lane and respecting boundaries." You said while crossing your arms and looking at her.
"I got 100 dollars on Y/N." 2fo whispered to Quiiso who quickly nodded his head to agree.
"What the? What is your actual problem? I was hired to do a job and I am doing said job. Not my fault you're so focused on wedding planning and not your soon to be husband's actual career." Neelam said and everyone at the table looked at you for your response.
"Excuse me? Who the actual fuck are you talking to because I know for damn sure that it isn't me. I have done this for more than ten years by myself and I damn sure don't need your help. So do me a favor and learn to stay in your place like I said. You're lucky that you didn't get your ass beat because of that picture you decided to take with my man knowing that you had absolutely no business doing so."
"And this is the one you're supposed to marry soon? You could definitely do better." Neelam said to Jack and that could be heard was a collective gasp at the table.
"So, Jackman, you're actually going to let her talk to me like that?"
"Can we just drop this? I'm doing the photoshoot and interview."
"And just forget about what I have planned?!"
"I have the opportunity in front of me so I want to take it. Like I said, we can change things around to do it later."
All you did was nod your head and simply slid your chair out from the table in order to leave.
"Fine. Urby, do you want to go with me to the Pokémon museum in Japan since Jack doesn't want to?"
"Oh shit. You didn't say that's what it was!" Jack said while looking at you, but all you did was roll your eyes.
"Anyway, Urby. Do you want to go? Everything is booked."
"I… well…"
"Never mind. I'll ask Ari and make it a girls trip but as of right now, good fucking night."
The next day, you woke up early and kept yourself busy to avoid having to run into Jack. Even though the two of you slept in the same room, you were asleep before he got back and was gone before he woke up. He had been blowing up your phone left and right, but you weren't giving him the time of day.
Future Hubby- Baby, where are you? I haven't seen you all day
You- and you're not going to
Future Hubby- Come on Y/N, I didn't know that was what you had planned. I feel shitty about it.
You- It doesn't fucking matter. If I said that I had something planned for you, the courteous thing to do is go along with it because of all of the time and effort I put into it. And do you feel shitty? Because the fact that you didn't defend me last night from her speaks volumes. Go bother Neelam since you want to be up her ass so bad.
Jack tried to send you another text, but soon realized that you had blocked him.
He was currently with Neelam and Urban at the moment and all he did was sigh.
"Nee, let's get something straight. Do not ever disrespect my girl again. She knows me a lot better than you do and knows what I need. I know you’re trying to help, but I just want the two of you to get along. But please realize that my future wife is not going anywhere."
"Hmm a little too little too late for that." Urban muttered under his breath and Jack shot him a look.
"But she…"
"But nothing. That's my girl and what she says goes. If you want to plan something, clear it with her moving forward."
"I just want to help since that's the whole reason I was brought on."
"And you can help without stepping on anyone's toes. Don't let it happen again."
While all of this was going on, Urban had been texting you and letting you know what had been happening.
Urby- Ooh look who finally grew some balls and stood up for his wife!
You- He can shove it for all I care. Too little too late.
Urby- Same thing I said smh but he did put her in her place even if it should have been done months ago. Oh and he's asking if you could unblock him
You- No.
Urby- I'll relay the message lol
Next thing you knew, you had an incoming facetime call from Urban and knew it was Jack calling. And sure enough when you answered you were right.
"Baby! Unblock me!"
"And what makes you think you deserve to be unblocked?"
"Stop playing! Because I'll be your husband soon."
"And that's the best answer that you can come up with?"
"Please baby girl. I love you and I'm sorry."
"All you've been doing is apologizing lately and I'm sick of it."
"I know… I…"
"Bye Jackman."
Without another word you hung up.
It was now around 11 at night and Jack was knocked out cold when you went to go and find Urban. You did end up unblocking him however, you still didn't want to talk to him.
Urban had let you in and the two of you were now outside as he listened to how you felt about what had been happening regarding Jack lately.
"Come on Y/N, you had to have seen this coming from a mile away."
"How could I have seen this coming?" You asked Urban while you sat across from him on the balcony. You know he had to have been looking for you by now, but your phone still hadn't gone off with so much as a text message or a call. It was almost as if he didn't even care and that bothered you to no end.
"You know he’s a whore and it's always been like that, you turned a blind eye before but now that you're on the receiving end, everything isn't always what it seems huh? As much as he brushes it off, he is still insecure and embraces any type of attention that women give him even though by now he should only want that attention from you." Urban told you and you couldn’t help but for your eyes to water.
"Urby…."
This was the last thing that you wanted to hear right now.
"You thought that he would change for you? I mean that's fair seeing as how much he loves and cares about you, but is that enough to make him do it? I mean you said yes to marrying him so you are just as responsible for this as he is. He's my best friend too, but he has shown you time and time again the traits of someone who doesn't actually want to be tied down or married." Urban quietly confessed as he took a swig of his Modelo.
"Then why in the world would he ask me to marry him in the first place? That's a serious commitment."
"Because he knows that you're the only one that is going to put up with his shit, no matter what he does and no matter how much it might affect you as horrible as that sounds. He knows that you're always going to be there. Just because his ass turned thirty doesn't mean that the maturity aspect is there. Y/N, I am in no way, shape, or form trying to hurt your feelings, like I said in the beginning, the last thing I want to see is both of you heartbroken but especially you. You don't deserve this."
"I just don't know what to do anymore. It's a continuous cycle. He does something that I don't like, I get pissed off, he apologizes, and does something else and the cycle continues. But this one takes the cake. How could he side with her when I have been there for him through everything? I have never steered him wrong and I have always had his best interest." At that point, Urban had handed you one of your favorite wine coolers knowing that this was going to be a long night.
"You know what you need to do. Put yourself first and I guarantee that will be the wake up call he needs to get his shit together."
"Does he even want to marry me anymore? That's the ultimate question."
"Now the only person that can answer that is him, but from the outside looking in…. Would you want to be married to someone who disrespected you like that yesterday?"
“I guess not.”
“You’ve been living in a fantasy world and now it’s time to wake up.”
You stayed with Urban for about another hour or so and you decided to take his advice.
From now on, you planned on putting yourself first.
When Jack had woken up later on the next morning with his alarm blasting in his ear, he reached over for you and frowned when he noticed that your side of the bed was empty and cold meaning that you hadn’t been there next to him for quite some time.
All he did was sigh as he got up and started to get ready for the day, figuring that he would see you at some point and hoping that you at least were a little less mad at him than you were yesterday.
Once he had finished getting ready, he figured that he would at least check your location to see where you were since the two of you shared it with each other at all times just in case to be safe and got an even bigger frown on his face when he saw that you had turned yours off.
He couldn’t even remember the last time you had done that and immediately hit your contact in order to call you. He needed to know where you were and if you were safe.
He called you at least three times and was immediately sent to voicemail before he began to send a series of texts, hoping that you would at least answer those.
Future Hubby- Baby, why is your location off? Where are you? You know we always keep it on
Future Hubby- Hold on, where the hell are all your bags?!
Future Hubby- Y/N, answer me right now. Where are you and what is going on?!?!
When he didn’t get an answer from you, he immediately called Urban.
“Hello?”
“Urb, where’s my girl? Have you seen her?”
“Well, good morning to you too and no. After our talk last night…..” Jack immediately cut him off.
“Wait, after what talk? What is going on?”
“All I’m going to tell you is that you need to realize what you have before you lose it. Do what you will with that information.”
“What did she tell you? All of her bags are gone and she turned off her location. We always know where the other person is at all times. I just need to know that she’s safe.”
“It’s not my place to tell you what she told me but if the two of you are going to get married a lot of things need to get fixed before you do.”
“I’ll talk to her, but can you just tell me if you see or hear from her?”
“Sure. Hmm, I wonder if this has to do anything with me telling her to put herself first.” Urban said while thinking out loud.
“Urb!”
“What?! Not my fault you’ve been treating your girl like shit. You made your bed so lie in it. You should have stood up to Neelam and took up for her when that whole thing went down at dinner, but instead you did it the next day. So many situations that you have put yourself in when it didn’t have to be that way. If you want to marry her so bad, you need to show her that you value her and that she’s important to you because right now from the outside looking in, it looks like you want the single life with having marriage benefits.”
“I don’t want to be single!”
“You could have fooled me. You need to show her that you are in and I mean all in. Hopefully you fix it before it’s too late. I take it you haven’t seen her instagram story either?”
Jack put him on speaker before going to look at it and his stomach dropped.
You had postponed the wedding.
y/n added to their story
Meanwhile you were back in Louisville at your condo puking your guts out for the fifth time today. This had been going on for the last two weeks, but you didn’t say anything or mention anything to anyone thinking that it was just a stomach bug and that it would pass. However, when you touched down in Louisville and hit your favorite bakery to get a few different snacks to take home with you, the smell of your favorite cupcakes made you nauseous and you then became nervous.
Bottom line is that you knew what this was.
You had watched enough television shows and seen it in real life among your family members and friends to know there was only one clear cut explanation for what was going on with you.
You were pregnant and needed to take a test and make an appointment with your OB/GYN to confirm it and you were absolutely terrified.
“So much for being on birth control.” You muttered to yourself as you gripped the sink to help you get up from the floor and heard your phone ringing from the bedroom.
Without even having to go and look at it, you knew it was Jack since he had a different ringtone than everyone else.
You knew he was probably freaking out since you were nowhere to be found and you turned off your location which you knew he was probably pissed about since that was something that the two of you never did.
Not bothering to answer him, you dabbed at your face with a warm washcloth before brushing your teeth and grabbing your wallet and keys to go to the nearest drug store in order to get the test along with some ginger ale and saltines in the hopes of settling your stomach.
It was only a matter of time before Jack would be on your doorstep and it probably would be in less than 24 hours.
Well, Jack found out last week that Gabrielle’s baby wasn’t his all to now eventually find out that you were now pregnant.
That was about to be a hell of a conversation since he was currently the last person that you wanted to be around.
You were tired of giving him so many chances and as you played with your engagement ring, you started to wonder if you had made the right decision by saying yes to him.
Bottom line was that if you were to slip the ring off and give it back to him at this very moment, you probably wouldn’t regret it. But you knew yourself better than that. Down the line you definitely would.
You were now going to be someone’s mother and had to set a good example for them even if that included not marrying their father.
Jack had touched down in Louisville later that afternoon in the hopes of hopefully finding you since he knew this was your safe space, just like it was his. He was going to see his parents first before setting out to go and find you and was hoping that they had seen you so that the search could be kept short.
But once he entered the house, he was surprised to see you in the kitchen with Maggie hovering over the stove and sipping on sparkling water. Once his mom spotted him she had nothing but a smile on her face, while you on the other hand just kept a straight face and turned back to the stove in order to continue making the sauce for the pasta dish you were helping Maggie make.
“So, do you have something to tell me?” Maggie asked while looking over at Jack, who looked back at her confused.
“Tell you what?”
All Maggie did was continue to smile as she looked between the both of you but you weren’t uttering a word.
“Y/N, I see why you came home early from tour and I can only imagine how traveling would take a toll on your body. And of course this one over here had to come and check on you in order to make sure that you were okay. You did the right thing by coming home and being close to us as well as your parents. You know we’ll look after you until Jack finishes up and can be here full time with you.”
“I’m lost, can someone fill me in?” Jack asked as he tried to make eye contact with you, but you just weren’t giving him the time of day.
“Oh, like you don’t know. No need to be like that. I can’t wait to plan for the baby shower.”
It was at that moment Jack’s heart fell out of his ass.
All he could do was mouth ‘What the fuck is she talking about?’ to you and all you did was look at him with a tight lipped smile before mouthing back ‘It’s not yours.’ which instantly made him roll his eyes since he knew for a fact that it was his.
“And I absolutely love this shirt, Y/N. Did you get one for your mom too so we can match?” Maggie asked you as she held up a shirt that you bought her that said Worlds Best Grandma and Jack just knew he was going to faint while you were steadily quiet and tasting the sauce to see if it had enough seasoning in it.
“Yes, I got her one too. She’ll get hers tomorrow since she flew home to visit my grandma in D.C. And the food is just about ready.”
“Umm, where’s dad and Clay?” Jack asked while he looked around and tried to keep his stomach from being in knots.
“They were out doing something so we made sure to make enough for them so they have it when they come back.”
As you were trying to eat your food in the hopes that it wouldn’t come back up, Jack was sending you texts left and right.
Future Hubby- You better stop playing because this shit isn’t funny. Now are you actually pregnant?
You- Who’s this?
Future Hubby- BABY STOP PLAYING. I’M BEING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW SO CAN YOU PLEASE ANSWER MY QUESTION?
You- It isn’t yours so why are you worried about it?
Future Hubby- Now we all know that’s a lie. And why did you just leave without saying anything? Do you know how worried I was about you? Don’t ever do that again without saying anything to me. I thought something had happened to you. And postponing the wedding?! Without saying anything to me!?
You- You’re lucky I didn’t call it off completely with how you’ve been acting towards me. Eat your food and stop texting at the dinner table. It’s rude.
The rest of the dinner was awkward between you and Jack and luckily Maggie didn’t notice anything was off between the two of you. She was simply on cloud nine with the fact that she was going to be a grandmother and that was the only thing she could talk about. However, you knew that this was about to be a whole ordeal with the two of you finally got home.
And you were going to let him have it and not hold anything back.
The two of you drove separately and once the both of you were parked in the driveway, Jack got out first before jogging over to you to open your car door for you.
He held out his hand for you to take and you simply brushed him off.
“Baby, please. I know you’re mad….”
“Don’t start with me, Jackman. I’m tired and I want to lay down.” You said while walking up to the front door and sliding the key in.
“But we have to talk about this. You’re pregnant with our kid, didn’t tell me and also postponed the wedding and didn’t tell me. I had to find out through your instagram post so what the hell is going on?! You just left!” Was all that you heard Jack say from behind you as you entered the house and you took a deep breath before you rolled your eyes and turned around to face him.
“Because I am so utterly sick of your shit! For you to tell me that you love me so much, it sure doesn’t feel like it! There was a time that you would prioritize me and we weren’t even in a relationship! You don’t even do that now and we are!”
“I know I’ve messed up, but…”
“That’s putting it lightly.”
“I just…”
“No, there isn’t any excuse that you can pull out of your ass to make me instantly forgive you for everything that you’ve done. Our so-called friendship has literally turned to shit ever since I said yes to marrying you and I’m wondering if I even made the right decision by letting you put this ring on my finger.”
“Y/N… you don’t mean that. I don’t want anyone else but you!”
“Really? Because you sure don’t act like you do. You had the nerve to call me insecure, but so are you because you have to seek validation from every single woman that you come across and I have absolutely no idea when you got like that. I have told you from the beginning that you have always been more than enough and not to change for anyone, but I don’t even think I recognize the person standing in front of me anymore. Is it to make me jealous? Let me know that you have options and can leave me the second that you get tired of me? All I want is for us to be on the same damn page and now we have to add a child into this hot mess express.”
“I never looked at it like that, but I don’t plan on leaving you for anybody!”
“Did you ask me to marry you because you knew that no other woman would probably put up with all of your shit and always be there for you?” You asked and Jack looked at you in disbelief.
“I asked you to marry me because I love you! How many times do I need to say that?!”
“Or is it because your whoring days are over with so you figured hmm let me just marry Y/N so I won’t be single for the rest of my life.”
“Where is all this coming from?! You know I hate arguing with you and us being at odds. For the last time, I asked you to marry me because I love you and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you and keep in mind YOU AGREED.”
“And that was before I knew you were going to lie to my face, let people talk down to me, and almost have a baby on me.”
“Can we just sleep on this and talk about it again in the morning? I don’t want to do this with you or end up saying something that I’m going to regret.”
“It doesn’t matter because I’m leaving. I’ve said my piece.”
“You are not going anywhere and it is literally pouring outside. I want you safe. You already ran away from me once and I for damn sure am going to do anything in order to prevent it from happening again.”
“I am leaving because I don’t want to look at you and I’m convinced that you don’t even love me like you claim that you do.”
“Now you’re talking utter bullshit. I would give up everything for you in a fucking heartbeat, but because of the person that you are you wouldn’t let me do that! You don’t do that for people that you don’t love! And we need to talk about you postponing our wedding without even letting the groom fucking know.”
“At this point, do you even deserve to? The only reason why you found out I was pregnant is because Maggie said something. Because I didn’t want to talk to you.”
All Jack did was run a hand through his curls as you were now making your way to the front door.
“Baby!”
“Don’t fucking call me that!”
“Do not leave this house!”
“And who the fuck are you to give me orders? Last time I checked, I was a grown ass woman and can do whatever the fuck I want.”
“Just… I’ll sleep in the guest bedroom if you don’t want to be near me, but just please don’t leave.” Jack pleaded with you as he grabbed your hand, but all you did was shake your head.
“You have a show tomorrow so I suggest that you fly back at at least eleven in the morning so that you’ll be there on time. Good fucking night.”
“I’m not flying anywhere until we fix this!”
“Oh, Neelam won’t miss you too much?” You sarcastically said before snatching your hand out of his.
“Y/N…..”
“I don’t think I should be your manager anymore since you want to go along with what she says all the damn time so she’ll have you all to herself.”
“WHAT?! We are NOT doing this right now!”
“Well, I am. Now me and my baby are going to get some rest in my condo and if you don’t stop getting on my fucking nerves and hurting me, the next time you’ll see me will be in the delivery room. Now for the last time, good night.”
As much as he didn’t want to, Jack watched you go to your car and back out of his driveway and knew that he could only be frustrated with himself. He was going to do everything that he possibly could in order to get back in your good graces and prove to you that you were in fact the only person that he wanted to be with for the rest of his life.
The only reason why the two of you were at this point was because of him so he couldn’t put the blame on anyone else. You had given him chance after chance only for him to keep disappointing you every single time.
To try and relax, he hopped into the shower and had placed his phone on the sink just in case you called him or needed him for something, but at this point he highly doubted it.
He stayed under the warm water for about thirty minutes when he got out and checked his phone to see that you had turned your location back on and he could now see it.
Jack was about to put it back down, but did a double take when he noticed that you weren’t moving anywhere and that you were still only three blocks from your shared house. Almost an hour had passed and you should have been at your condo by now even if it had been raining.
As he held his phone, a call from an unknown number came through and he had a gut wrenching feeling that it had to do with you and why it had your location showing at a standstill.
“Hello?”
“Mr. Harlow? This is Dr. Spencer from Norton hospital in downtown Louisville. Your fiancée Y/N Y/L/N has been in a car accident.”
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Talking on the phone with my mom I finally broke down and cried thoroughly about the cancellation. I think I'd been holding it in for the last two days, or two months. And honestly I've been wondering all along why this show means so much to me. I am not queer, I am not neurodivergent, I am not POC or disabled or any of the groups that this show has been so important for in terms of representation and being treated with respect and dignity. I understand and completely empathize with all of you, and fight for this show and your rights worldwide alongside you, but it still left me wondering why I myself have latched onto Our Flag Means Death. I suppose part of it is that despite being white and cishet and the privileges that have always come with that, I have been treated like an outsider and ostracized my entire childhood and teenage years, for being ugly and having "disgusting" interests (primarily liking insects, reptiles, other creepy-crawlies - aka the thing I literally do for my career now). I was bullied relentlessly from preschool through early college and became a very lonely introverted person - I still am. Undoubtedly Our Flag Means Death gave me renewed hope that I haven't missed some key window for finding love or relationships of any kind that matter, as I sit here typing this at age 28 having never dated anyone.
But it had to be more than that. And with everything that's happened the past couple of months, and the last few days, I think it finally clicked for me.
Followers of my blog may or may not know that I am a conservation biologist, or pollinator ecologist, whichever hat fits best on a given day, they're quite close. I don't make many original posts like this anymore on here because my job is so busy. Basically, I do a variety of things - academic research, habitat management & restoration, and public outreach - to try and preserve biodiversity and ecosystems on our planet. I'm just going to say it: it's a thankless job. Nothing we do ever feels like it's enough, and burnout is common in our field because we sit with the guilt of feeling like we are the only thing between survival and utter destruction of planet Earth, and work ourselves to exhaustion. It's one of those jobs where your work is your life, and your passion is your work, and it's inseparable from who you are on a molecular level. We are often faced, on a large scale, with hostility, from people that don't believe in science and are more than happy to pull a shotgun on us, or rich old men in power who are content to watch the world burn for another penny in their bank account. There are days when sometimes it sinks in just how bad things are, and it's terrifying, and I feel like we will never be able to do enough, to change enough, before it gets catastrophic. It's paralyzing.
My ability to do my job is dependent on hope. Unwavering, unrelenting hope. Hope beyond hope. We have to believe what we're doing matters, otherwise we'd fall down and never get back up again. I'm no big-shot, I give talks to a few hundred people at a time, and make urban pollinator habitat on a local scale. Is any of that going to make a difference compared to the ramifications of a single oil mogul deciding to cut corners and cause an oil spill that kills millions of seabirds and damages ocean food chains for decades to come? If people in my field let thoughts like that linger, we'd be paralyzed to inaction. I have to hope that the people I teach choose to do something good with that knowledge, and go on to inspire others, or that the patch of habitat I make allows a declining species to maintain a foothold instead of going locally extinct. You just have to keep going.
And Our Flag Means Death got wrapped up in that for me. The Stede Bonnet effect, if you will. He set out to do pirating differently, treating his crew with respect and helping them grow. In return, they internalized that mindset, and it spread to how they interacted with others. It changed the trajectory of individual lives, and also at least began to change how the society of pirates operated as a whole. It was a beacon of hope that choosing small acts of kindness did matter, even if you yourself could not see the ripples it made. It renewed my faith that love persevered and would win. That we could all make life a little better for each other and ourselves through kindness, compassion, forgiveness, and mutual support. I think a good chunk of that is from Taika - these are running themes in his projects, and his films move me deeply for that. This show became in some, perhaps subconscious way, a source of strength for me to keep putting myself out there in my line of work to do whatever I was capable of to help the cause.
The cancellation was devastating, but the second cancellation (turbohell cancelation?) was even more so. Because now it's so clear that this is largely the work of David Zaslav and the regime he's built. It's petty, it's greedy, and more than anything, it's cruel. Indifferently, indiscriminately cruel, when one person at the top can have such power to make or break the lives of thousands, millions, beneath them, and though it would have been barely a drop in the bucket, a hand wave, to renew our show or let it pass to another streamer, he actively chose to shackle it to this sinking Titanic of a company WBD has become. I have always operated on the belief that you can do anything if you work hard enough at it, and believed deep down that there was some order, some justice in the universe, atheist though I be. We as a fandom did everything we possibly could, we loved this show harder than anything. The numbers were there, the awards nominations were there, the critic praise was there, and we were loud and loyal every single day. I felt like we could do this - how could we not win when we've done so much, and the show deserves it so much? Surely cause and effect will prevail.
This fight seemed small, though really it wasn't; we fought for the right of artists and creators to make quality, original stories and have them told to their natural end, we fought for diversity representation to be more than a token character - OFMD raised the bar so much higher on all fronts, we fought to shed light on the chaos and impending collapse of this industry silencing art and exploiting writers, actors, and all manner of production workers. It was a small fight from the outside, one that I really felt we could win. And I put my heart and soul into it, because if we could win this, if we could save this simple, kind love story about two guys on a boat, then maybe there was hope for the bigger, badder stuff too. It shouldn't seem an insurmountable task for several thousand fans to convince a streaming service that they'd turn a tidy profit to give our show one more season.
Yet we lost - through no fault of our own. I am so proud of us. But that really struck deep for me. If one peabrained CEO of a media company wouldn't budge on greenlighting a show that was in his every best interest business-wise - perhaps enough to even save Max from going under in the not-too-distant future - my god, what hope was there for changing anything bigger? The 'real' problems of the world? When no amount of ethos, logos, or pathos can penetrate these men at the top, where's that hope to fight? Lately the world seems like it's just going belly up all over. If we gave everything we could, and it still wasn't enough - if it could never be enough - what hope is there? It's like chaining yourself to a tree and the bulldozer plowing right on ahead. And I think that broke something in me. It shook me to my foundations because it broke my rules of how things are supposed to work. We believed hard enough, we worked tirelessly, and we deserved it for how important this show was to so many people. And it didn't matter. Our best wasn't enough. And that caused an avalanche of all of the horrible, scary things piled on my shoulders - we're losing the Amazon rainforest too fast to save, climate change is going to turn the corn belt into a dustbowl by mid-century, a border wall is going to devastate imperiled wildlife in Texas, deforestation and hurricanes on songbird wintering grounds could lead to entire species extinctions, saltmarshes are our lifeline and they're shrinking and we're still building stupid concrete stormwalls, invasive diseases will completely alter the composition of our forests to be unrecognizable to our children, and if you don't make every slide of this powerpoint utterly perfect and you fail to convince every single person in attendance to get rid of their lawn then you've failed and the world is doomed.
I've struggled with being a perfectionist my whole life. This didn't help.
That's where I was a couple hours ago. But I took some deep breaths. I know the world isn't fair. But I really thought if we could win this one battle, then we could win the war.
But here's what I realized. Everything we did mattered. It mattered so much. Because there's the show, and then there's everything that was birthed out of that show. The community, so many of us around the world who have been uplifted by Our Flag Means Death in a real and lasting way that we will take with us and spread to affect those around us. The Stede Bonnet effect goes global. We raised thousands and thousands of dollars for charities around the world, real people whose lives have been improved, or maybe even saved, because of us and this silly pirate show. We brought a hell of a lot of attention to WBD and their shitty practices, keeping the momentum going in a way that I think is only going to build - and I sure hope it leads to Zaslav getting deposed. We have demanded more queer stories, more BIPOC stories, more disabled and autistic and middle-aged stories, stories with exquisite costumes and award-worthy wigs, dear lord, and we are being heard. We have expressed such love and support for the cast and crew, showing them that we appreciate their hard work and that we will be behind them in their future projects. So many of them have told us how the show and its fans have changed their lives. We convinced Rhys that his career isn't winding down but winding up, and to be unapologetic about his wonderful weirdness - we've proven to everyone through this show that your weirdness is what someone out there is going to love you for, not in spite of. We rallied to help writers and actors during the strikes in a way that was taken to heart and remembered. We have been out here talking it through as a crew, and turning poison into positivity, for over two years now, and that impact is permanent. They can cancel our show, they can try and slap copyright notices on our fan merch, and spew bullshit excuses about the numbers not being there. But Our Flag Means Death sparked a movement, the biggest pirate crew the world has ever seen, using our power for good.
We may not have any more new material for our show for a while, or ever. But I maintain hope that when the dust has settled and streaming has entered its 'new era' that they'll remember us and throw us a lifeline. Because hope is a part of my genetic makeup, and even in cancellation my hope has been renewed that the fight is worth fighting, that our individual choices of kindness are having an effect, and making the world a little easier to live in bit by bit. No one can take from us what we have built out of this show. And thanks to pirating, they can't take the actual show from us either. Despite this, no matter the outcome, I am so happy we got two seasons of this wonderful series. That was more than almost anyone expected. The story belongs to all of us, and it will always live on. We did not truly lose this battle, because in the process we gained more than we could have ever imagined. And I know there's still so much more to come. That gives me the strength to keep doing what I do, every day.
To me, Our Flag Means Hope.
#our flag means death#ofmd#this is a very long post but I need to write it for me#seeing the outpouring of love on twitter today has really been so needed#also realizing after i finish this that my blog name is literally 'There is always hope'#so i mean. this really has been my brand since i started here#personal
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WIBTA for calling out my friend's spending habits?
✈💸 to find later
I (NB 20s) have been struggling to find employment for a long time. I've been struggling a lot with money- I'm technically indebted to my bank due to an overdraft I dipped into during my last weeks of university while paying off surprise fees, and in the entire year since have been unsuccessful in paying it off for any meaningful length of time. The stress has been immense and I've been avoiding like the plague any kind of personal purchase or leisure activity that might cost me anything. It's a mindset that's been making me profoundly miserable and that I'll probably struggle to get out of for a long time.
However, in the past few weeks, I've managed to land what I can only describe as my dream job. It doesn't start for another couple months, and the pay won't be fantastic (it's an internship), but without a doubt it will change my life. Desperate to do something nice and give myself a break, members of my family agreed to lend me money via plane tickets to do a nice trip this summer and see my best friends abroad, my last big hurrah before entering the full-time workforce for the rest of my life (and being able to pay them back). And I've been really excited! I've been saving even harder than usual, scraping up cash and politely asking grandparents. It won't be easy to support myself in another country in my financial situation, I understand that, but I'm at a point where I think I can do it for a short time and not be a burden on the people who are hosting me.
However, the only issue comes with my friend (NB 20s). I've known them for years, we're extremely close, and we've been waiting for a chance to see each other again for most of that time not knowing if it would ever happen due to my financial situation, so this is the opportunity of a lifetime. They really want to host me, for at least 2 weeks, and do all these nice things together we've been planning. But in the past month or so they've all but drained hundreds of dollars from their bank account in art commissions and room decorations for themself, all of which they've been excitedly showing off to me and our other friends, all the while running out of money entirely. They can't pick up work from their (seasonal) job anymore, either, so there's no way for them to earn back the money now, and recently they've started having to push their commissions just to cover their student loan payment this month. In ordinary circumstances I wouldn't mind and would try and help them out, but I won't be in any financial position on the trip to cover their bills as well as my own (at least not regularly), and I feel like this would have been so preventable if they'd just... picked less wildly expensive things to buy as a treat, knowing the circumstances.
They've said they're also stressed and need to buy themselves nice things sometimes, which I totally agree with! I'm not that much of a party pooper, they are in a rough situation themself right now and the stuff they bought does make them genuinely happy. But it also sucks to watch them then have to struggle to pay for bills and necessities because of it, and I feel really selfish for thinking of it in the framework of our time together later as well. I've done my absolute best to be able to spend at least a few weeks having a great time with them not worrying and pinching pennies while taking care of myself, but now I'm worried we're just going to spend the trip with both of us stressed out of our minds and stuck at home struggling to pay for gas. I'm an anxious person, and the few times I've tried to bring up my worries in a more gentle way, they've vehemently reassured me everything will be fine, but now I'm leaving in just over a week and everything seems like it's getting worse instead of improving.
I know I should be just glad to spend time in their company, even if it is just at home, but I can't stop feeling like the way they've been spending money in the leadup to this has been really irresponsible and preventable. But even if so, it made them happy in the moment so i should be happy for them too, and surely it's just straight up none of my business? It's also not like they can take it back now- it's already happened, and they can't earn the money back if they wanted to. I feel like if i called them on it at this point it'd just be a dick move and come across pointless and jealous, but I also can't help but think it's unproductive to let this gnaw at me the entire time, like I should really be communicating this kind of upset and talk it out first in case it comes to a head and boils over and ruins our whole time together.
I'm aware I'll be long into the trip by the time this posts but it'd be nice to look back and see other perspectives.
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How do you decide between creating the art you love vs creating art that is “guaranteed” to bring in views/followers/clients, or do you simply make what you like and be satisfied and grateful with having a small following and let it decide to grow on its own?
I am a struggling artist finishing up training to work in the “real world”, and I’m torn and worried because 1) the things that are currently giving me inspiration and motivation to draw are fandom related stuff, 2) Even when I have time or courage to draw and write content for original characters and stories/public domain charas and stories, followers are more interested in my fanart content, 3) trying to create marketable things for holidays/etc so that I can actually earn money has so far failed, 4) I just feel so far behind trying to catch up with new art techniques/art business-savvy rules while trying to retain the lessons I learn and figure out when to practice/actually draw/relax and take a break in healthy, productive amounts 5) I want to be able to work on my day job AND still have time and energy for art, but even with a part time job/training I still fell short despite my efforts to push forward.
Sorry for this; you probably answered something similar before 😅
I don't have the correct answers, for I am just a random person on the internet. But I do want to thank you for sharing and asking me for advice! That alone is a compliment to me :) Here are my two cents, but take it with a grain of salt:
Honestly the times where I was the most disatisfied with my art mindset was when I was doing art full time as a job. I made the hobby I loved so much a job and it changed it. I only made art for others and I didn't had any energy left to make art for myself. Nowadays I have an office job for three days in the week, and the other two I either work on commissions or my own stuff. I enjoy that way more :) But that's simply what works for me! Art is more enjoyable to me when I don't have to do it all week long all the time. Art is a reward for me again, instead of an obgligation :)
But I don't do it to gain followers: I honestly don't look at that. I started posting on the internet like 13 years ago and I always just posted the stuff I liked, and am very thankful that people have liked my stuff over the years and now there are people who enjoy my art and even want to commission me, I'm very thankful :) I started with posting fanart but that's because I simply was into those shows/games, never for the purpose to gain followers :0 I don't think it's a bad thing to do, I just can't tell you anything about it since I sincerely don't look at it. Sorry!
I do wish you all the best!! Sorry that I can't give you good advice, I hope you'll find your own way with how to deal with your art mindset! Finding your flow always takes time :)
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