#but a good chunk of it hasn't worked and this would be no exception

[utilitycaster]

So BH got the hint to go talk to the Raven Queen while talking to Corellon as played by Abubakar Salim. What do you think the odds are of Laura getting up and into the DM chair as the RQ?

I don't know what the actual odds are, since as extensively discussed Matt's really been tap-dancing around the line of good narrative judgment, but they should be zero. Either this would require giving Laura an amount of information such that it would be nearly impossible for her to play Imogen going forward (never mind just the regular logistics of like, unless the point is that Laudna goes in alone, I would think Imogen should be there in the scene and fully able to react); or you're sticking her there with little to no direction in a campaign where the biggest problem is a lack of direction. Like, I'm sure she would embody the Raven Queen well, because she is a good actress, but it's the same idea as why Marisha doesn't play Keyleth in Campaign 3.

[superblysubpar]

can I request dad Steve or Eddie finding out you’re pregnant 😭 or hearing the heartbeat for the first time. Poor saps be crying

dad!steve harrington x mom!fem! reader

a How Sweet It Is story

summary: steve has a stand off with his stubborn unborn child (aka, you and steve welcome your first nugget to the world) | even if a fic is not marked 18+, my blog is

1.3k words

warnings: small description of labor pains, Steve feeling sad about not feeling his baby move throughout your pregnancy, talk of picking names based on boy/girl.

Spring, 1987:

Steve has yet to feel his kid kick.

Which is fine, really, it is.

Well it was fine.

Because, see, he had this understanding that eventually he would get to feel them kick, you'd felt them, so it was the natural order of things. He understood he was gone for a good chunk of the day at work, that he needed to let you rest and not be all over you while you slept just so he could feel his kid move. He could be patient. At least he tried to be, but when it seemed like everyone felt them move except him for the entirety of your pregnancy, he couldn't help but feel like this was personal.

He was fine when Robin was the first to feel them and he rushed over, both of you frowning when the movement stopped. He was okay when Eddie joked he fist bumped the little monster through your stomach, but when he jumped over the back of the couch, shoving Dustin away and they stopped again, he realized he was dealing with a pro. Two could play at this game, kid.

Steve's fingers drift lazily through the suds, his other hand resting on the swell of your stomach that falls just above the water. He's staring so intensely at the little bulge that you swear he hasn't blinked for an hour.

"Can I have some more hot water, honey?"

Steve doesn't say anything in response, doesn't remove his eyes from your stomach. He just lifts his other hand from the water, two palms resting against you before he lifts the previously glued to your skin hand up and towards the faucet. You rest the book against your nose, careful to hide your smile and keep it from the bubbles.

"Don't laugh," he whispers, lips twitching up, but eyes serious and unwavering.

" M’not Steve," you clear your throat, muscles relaxing as more hot water fills the tub.

He rolls his eyes briefly, nudging the faucet off with a squeak as he hums. Not believing you for one second. It is laughable, he's at a stalemate with his unborn child.

Steve rests both hands on your stomach again, his chin now on the lip of the tub. As you fold the book closed, holding your place with a finger, your sudsy hand reaches up and pushes his hair away from his forehead.

"They'll move any second now, I know it."

He sighs, dejected, thumbs brushing over your skin slowly. His eyebrows furrow together as eyes underneath narrow. "Didn't you just say that you haven't taken a single bubble bath without them kicking and making it unpleasant? And now," he huffs louder, "Nothing."

You curl the piece of hair over his ear, offering a small smile. His eyes flit to the book, kissing your wrist before they jump back to their main target. "Tell me some more."

Humming, you sink lower, enjoying the relaxing bubble bath despite the mini menace out to drive her father crazy before she's born. You start with the boy names, Steve has no idea what you're having yet and you’ve enjoyed throwing him off the trail. 

"James?"

He smiles, palms rubbing over your stomach carefully. "As in Taylor?"

You shrug and he smiles wider, eyes lingering on yours, finally longer than a few seconds. "I like both of those names actually."

"Yeah?" You like them too, maybe the next one will be a boy.

He nods, lifting his head from the porcelain lip. He kneels now, kissing your stomach as he hums the chorus of 'How Sweet It Is' - your wedding song.

The book drifts from your fingers to the shelf, hand choosing to scratch through his hair instead. It's gotten darker, matching the stubble that tickles and scratches the skin of your bump as he keeps humming and kissing it.

He sighs loudly, nose nudging against you as it rests there. "Come on, kid," his voice is desperate, lips brushing your stomach as he speaks, "Where do you think you get your stubbornness from, huh? I will keep my hands here until you move or until you come out. I have all the time in the world."

He waits, closing his eyes and eventually his shoulders fall in rejection but he leaves another kiss before resting his cheek there instead. Eyes still closed as he whispers, "Maybe they hate me. Nine months of this, that's a long time to not feel them."

"Steve, no," your fingers push the stray strand from his forehead as your eyes fill with tears, words spilling out of you, "She probably is more soothed by your voice and presence okay? She's more active when you're not around and when you are she can tell I'm relaxed so she's relaxed and..."

Your voice trails off as you realize what you said when his eyes shoot open. The green in them stands out more as they get glassy, filling with tears.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry, I-"

"It's a girl? She's...we're having a girl?" He laughs, all watery, kissing your bump before covering your face in more. His palms press to your cheeks as his lips find yours. Kisses that are lingering and tender, pulling a soft sigh from you and making your stomach flip like on a roller coaster.

"I'm sorry I ruined the surprise. You're happy though?" You whisper against his lips.

"Babe, of course I'm happy, I-"

Your fingers grip the tub, sitting up as you wince. Steve's hands hover over your cheeks, his eyes going wide, "Wh-what? What's wrong?"

Your eyes squeeze shut, jaw clenching until the pain passes. You're briefly aware of Steve draining the tub, the sounds of scrambling clear by the drawers being opened and thrust closed.

He kisses your sweaty hairline, nose to your cheek when your eyes flutter open, breathing heavily through your nose.

"Let's go, honey."

You groan, shaking your head, eyes filling with tears, "I'm not ready. You did this," you grip his shoulders as he helps you out of the tub.

He grimaces, helping you into sweats and then a loose shirt, "Yeah I know how it works, honey, but I think we both did decide to-"

"Not sex Steve, labor! You practically dared her to come out!" You squish up your face, ignoring the pain as you deepen your voice to mimic him, "I will keep my hands here until you move or you come out."

He starts to laugh and quickly coughs to cover it up when he sees your rage. Rage that suddenly turns to a pout as you shake your head more, gripping his forearm, "I'm not ready. We don't have a name and..."

He cups your jaw and kisses you softly, "I know, we'll figure it out, okay? We're gonna do this together, right?"

You press your forehead to his, taking a calming and centering breath, hands holding your stomach. Letting his even breathing, his skin against yours, soothe you. Nodding your head finally and whispering, "Together."

He places his hands on top of yours, kissing your forehead.

"Come on baby, time to go meet our baby."

You'd groan at the cheesy line if it weren't for the tears falling down his cheeks or the wide smile directed down at your stomach.

The same smile and same tear stained cheeks you see twenty four hours later when your eyes flutter open in the room turning from gray to lilac as the dawn leaks in through the window.

Steve holds Nora Louise Harrington in his arms, kissing her nose and smiling when she wiggles and scrunches it before settling back into her peaceful rest. A baby girl destined to be soothed only by her dad, more stubborn than either of you, and worth the wait for Steve to finally feel her move in his arms.

Steve sees you awake and smiles through his tears, sitting next to you after you scoot slowly on the bed. He leans his temple against yours, your baby girl nestled between you two - together. 

[wing-ed-thing]

Kisame Hoshigaki Friendship to Lovers Headcanons

Tags/Warnings: No Reader Pronouns, Fluff

𓆃 It's about the only way it's going to go. Kisame isn't exactly the type to seek out a romantic relationship off the bat. He just isn't very interested, but unlike some of his peers, he hasn't sworn off the potential of a partnership.

𓆃 And yes, to him it's a partnership which is why the friendship to lovers pipeline is so smooth. Because in any potential professional partnership, you'll grow closer and more personal until you've ended up in a place where you don't know what you are per se.

𓆃 Will Kisame ever answer you? Hell no. You shouldn't even ask because he'll laugh you off, mess up your hair, and move along.

𓆃 He's weird about labels, but that doesn't stop him from being territorial.

𓆃 Rather, he expects for your relationship to be just be understood. That any special relationship or importance or any other sappy title doesn't need to be said nor should it (because that's the line of work your in).

𓆃 While he doesn't really stick to the old-fashioned shinobi codes, they are very deeply ingrained in him. The Hidden Mist was a very rough village and used draconic methods for longer than a good number of other shinobi societies.

𓆃 So while Kisame doesn't swear off close friends or other valued individuals, he's prone to keeping other's at an arm's length. The underlying value also being that he wouldn't hesitate to cut down anyone for the sake of a mission.

𓆃 It's likely best if you understand that to a degree. Not to say that you would have to agree, but being in the shinobi world should allow you to understand his attitudes.

𓆃 Although, this doesn't differ too much from other shinobi values.

𓆃 An ideal partnership would be most possible with someone Kisame hits it off with. He likes the kind of person who is willing to go along with impulsive ideas and keeps things interesting.

𓆃 Not to mention who will make a great sparring partner. It's how he likes to have his fun, so if you have good stamina and take pride in your combat abilities, you're sure to build a close relationship.

𓆃 Kisame likes to roughhouse and that will make up a significant chunk of your banter.

𓆃 And you'll carry on just like that, not even noticing the exceptions you make for each other because you're together all the time.

𓆃 And one day, maybe he'll surprise you.

𓆃 "I've had my fill," Kisame might say, heaving a heavy sigh the last of his opponents falls to the ground.

𓆃 You might snort, jesting that you had never heard him say that before or a snide remark about how you fought more than he did.

𓆃 And when Kisame tells you, "I think I'm retired," he doesn't blame you when you laugh at him. He snickers along with you at the ridiculous thought.

𓆃 Because he never truly is retired. But if turning in a bounty to get the fighting itch out of his system before coming to your secluded spot by the shore to start dinner is his version of retired, you supposed you should give it to him.

𓆃 You'd throw your headbands and cloaks off a nearby cliff. You'd build your little cottage yourselves, your two weapons next to the door as if they were umbrellas.

𓆃 A little dock would be nearby where you'd continue to spar, and a thick, fortified kitchen table for when you're stitching each other up later that night.

𓆃 You supposed nothing really changes in Kisame's version of retirement other than no longer having any allegiance to a nation.

Thank you to all who liked, reblogged, followed, and supported. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.

Notes: I'm still recharging but since it's taking so long I wanted to throw y'all a bone.

[lightfeltmemories]

GECKO MORIA: SFW & NSFW HEADCANONS

note: one of my worse "hear me outs" since i've started watching One Piece, i'm a bit shameless about it nowadays, and i know some of you guys out there would like it (trust me, i'm not the only one to have ever wrote for this guy) i'm new to one piece but i got a good chunk of the lore down so if anything is wrong please let me know. (i can also take requests for any other one piece character.)

tags and warnings: obvious spoilers, reader is gender neutral, very brief mentions of absalom's perverted tendencies, intended for both smaller and bigger readers.

due to him losing his entire crew, the people he loved, he'll be hesitant to be your friend let alone be in a relationship with you at first.

i imagine moria not caring much for romantic relationships, sure when he was young he had some crushes, flings and intimate experience, but as he grew older, it was put to the side and almost abandoned entirely.

things change when you come along, and when he realizes he's starting to have these feelings for you, he'll be distant just so he can keep himself from falling deeper for you, even though it takes a while for him to fully come to terms about taking things to the next level, it happens.

and once he falls, he falls hard.

you are his world, his everything, and he'll go to hell and back just to keep you safe, you're now the most important person in his life.

he's not the most physically affectionate and isn't the biggest fan of PDA, its near impossible for him to be if you're much, much smaller than him, but if you aren't, any display of physical affection such as hand holding or kissing is either minimal, or privately.

if you prefer to be smaller than him, i like the idea of you just.. laying on top of him like a massive bed, and he'll let you, just not in front of the mysterious four since they'll tease the dog shit out of him.

your relationship with the others means a lot to him, especially his adoptive daughter, perona, it's not enforced, but he finds it absolutely adorable if you acted like a second parental figure towards her.

absalom knows better not to spy on you, he knows what'll happen to him if he does.

"darling" and "my love" are his favorite pet names for you.

due to his past of losing everyone he loves, he's very protective of you, not in an insecure jealous way (he can be that, too, sometimes, just very rarely since there's not many people around to protect you from), but he's always thinking about the possibility of losing you, and it breaks his heart.

if you're smaller than him, he does get a bit insecure about the height difference, he can't hug or kiss you like any normal couple, he doesn't even let his shadows "do the work for him" because he actually wants to make an effort to be there for you, but at the same time he can't and it's really stressful to think about, and even if you try to convince him that it's all okay, he still hesitates or flat out declines, not wanting to hurt you.

the zombies follow your commands like they do for moria.

but overall, the love he has for you is strong, and he'll do anything for you (himself, of course.)

nsfw under the cut, you have been warned.

now when it comes to doing the deed with this man.. oh boy.

i mentioned before that he has experience but as the years went by the concept of sex was put to the side, but he hasn't forgotten anything he's learned from all those years ago.

when its your first time doing it together, he's very gentle, he doesn't want to hurt you especially since his teeth are razor sharp and he's got some sharp ass claws on him (he's also got a massive fucking dick even for someone his size idc idc idc.)

it takes a lot of convincing to do anything remotely sexual with him even teasing if you're smaller, if you're that desperate for him, he'll use his shadows (as an exception this time).

however, when do you use his shadows, he has to watch, he's a fan of mutual masturbation because of this.

his horns are surprisingly sensitive, do with this what you will.

when he gets more comfortable with having sex with you, you start to realize he's big on dirty talk:

when he's pushing himself inside you slowly, watching your reaction to his dick disappearing inside: "you can do it, take it all."

when you're sucking him off, you're gagging, moaning, and choking, pushing his fat dick as far as you can deep inside your throat. "my, you're a greedy one, aren't you?" he'll grab the back of your head and push you further if he's close.

"you like when i hit that spot, don't you?" when he touches your g-spot, making you squeak.

he's got a praise kink, both giving and receiving.

he loves it when you moan his name and tell him how good he's fucking you.

he's not a fan of impact play or degradation, maybe on himself but not on you.

he's not good on PDA but finds it hot if your loud moans echo throughout the place and people nearby can hear.

has an affinity for cumming inside, and may or may not have a breeding kink (ayo breeding kink moria is something interesting).

[tommycorriander]

Larry x Kabu (AoKabu, Blueturnipshipping) headcanons/rambles who cheered!!

- the name 'blueturnipshipping' is being coined by me!!! If there is another wildly used name I would like to know, but my reason for choosing that ship name is because when combined, Ao and Kabu translates to 'blue turnip' (at least, when using machine translation. If it translates differently I would like to know!!!!)

- Kabu, especially in his youth, was seen as quite attractive due to his physical fitness and general attitude on the battlefield. Paired with being a celebrity he was likely sought after frequently. He mentions it very rarely in passing but isn't something he likes to bring up, both from general politeness/being humble and also because a good chunk of those pursuing him were parasocial due to his status. It happens a lot less now due to his age, since he doesn't use social media he doesn't see how there are some people online who make negative comments about him being past his prime. Even so he still has that latent feeling of having peaked, stemming from his previous stumbling in his career as a gym leader.

- Larry probably hasn't experienced being desired in the same capacity as Kabu. Being a gym leader and elite four member doesn't get you much prestige in Paldea due to having less money within the League and a lack of celebrity culture in Paldea for the league. The only exceptions to this are people who are famous for things outside of their position as a gym leader, like Iono with her streaming career. As this is something Larry doesn't have, he isn't on nearly as wide a stage. He's also not particularly 'handsome' in the sense that he isn't well built or looks like a model, so while he has had experience dating and being sought after it's generally not very common and definitely became rarer as he got older. Thats partially because of him being extremely busy as well, not just from his age/looks.

- Kabu is extremely outwardly passionate about battling, something that Larry admires and partially envies. Larry also has a passion for it- he wouldn't be a double member of the League otherwise- but due to working two positions and having an office job he's worn thin and has lost that 'spark' that made him really enjoy battling in the first place. Kabu reignites that in him.

- Kabu greatly appreciates Larry's ability to ignore how others think about him. Kabu isn't self conscious per se, but you do end up taking on some level of concern about your appearance/attitude/actions/etc when you're a celebrity and scrutinized 24/7.

- Kabu is canonically from Hoenn and I headcanon Larry as being from Johto due to his Dudunsparce + how heavily based on the Japanese salaryman stereotype he is. Because of this they both bond over a shared appreciation for the similarities in their cuisine (I headcanon that hoenn has a heavier focus on seafood due to having a lot of ocean nearby, and the Kanto/Johto areas are more agriculture focused. However they are both based on Japan so there is overlap)

- Kabu is more prone to grand gestures of love. Think impressive dinners, big bouquets, if he's making you a meal it's going to be a full course meal. That sort of thing. His 'always do your best' attitude carries over into his love life, though he does try to tone it down as Larry can sometimes be overwhelmed by it.

- Larry, conversely, shows his love in smaller ways. He sees something at the store while buying groceries he thinks Kabu would like and gets it, and doesn't really say much about it. Sending texts on his break that are just simple reminders that he loves Kabu. They balance each other out.

- both of them are a little surprised to learn they like each other back. Larry because he views Kabu as completely out of his league, and Kabu because he would have thought his more fiery personality wouldn't have meshed very well with Larry's more muted one. Kabu has had experience in the past with having lovers originally fully enjoy how passionate it is before they got tired of it and found it overbearing; Larry is just always a bit surprised people actually like him outside of him being a generally fine coworker since he's constantly hearing from others that he's boring and not very fun.

N e wayz. I like sharing and I like answering questions!!! So if anyone sees this and is curious about other headcanons of mine for these two (even just individually, not just as a pair) then send me asks!!!! I don't bite :)

[bonzos-number-1-fan]

TMAGP 6 Thoughts: Old Friends

Lots to talk about this time although maybe not lots to say. We'll see. This was a Jonny episode so that's bound to happen. Either way spoilers for episode 6 below the cut.

So, I think we all know the biggest thing here; mini-donuts are finally confirmed. Okay, for actual serious things; Alice likes Choco Liebnitz and has confirmed to have immaculate biscuit standards but alternate biscuit spellings.

For the stuff that largely doesn't matter we've got a "surprise" 4th returning character, a new avatar in a fun new flavour, and a statement you know people are going to try to cram into the desire theory.

Starting from the bottom up for no real reason this was a very overtly fear driven episode. I'm not going to spend too much time on this bit because I think trash talking this theory is in poor taste. But I don't buy it and think it's often very strained and ignores big chunks of things to justify itself, and seems to forget just how much of TMA was wrapped up in desires too. The cosmology was always set up to have some people running away from the Fears and some people running towards them. TMP hasn't really done much different there to my mind and this episode is a pretty hard break away from a lot of the things people like to latch onto for the desire theory.

Needles up next then and I'm a big fan. Harry Roebuck obviously did a great job, and the different formats continue to do some great work. There isn't really a lot to say about the incident in general other than the above. It's all pretty normal stuff outside of the fun with the format. But what is interesting, apart from another character we'll see return, is that Needles is both very close to and very far from a TMA character. Both ways you can take that. Obviously there are some pretty big Stranger and Spiral vibes here. Like, if you throw Needles next to Nikola they'd seem totally normal. That's almost certainly not accidental because of how it contrasts to the rest of them. Pain isn't out of place for the Stranger's lot as a threat but it is in such an extreme example of it. Needles is more about pain than they are about anything else they're not preying on the fear of the uncanny. That would typically be a great fit for The Desolation except the way it manifests here is pretty distinctly not part of the Lightless Flame's lot. The Hunt or the Slaughter are also bad touchstones here because Needles really seems to be about a slow and restrained sort of pain that's out of place in those ideas of it. Which is all to say this the most overt showcasing of different manifestations so far. We've seen lots of stuff like TMA fears but twisted in TMP already but I think this one is deliberately set up to hammer that point home. We see something that is on first glance very at home in TMA until the details leave it without a solid home in Smirke's 14.

Finally, the wonderful return of Lowri Ann Davies as Celia. Celia Ripley at that which I'm sure isn't a reference to anything. So, I'm sure some people will say this is more likely to be the Celia native to TMP but to that I'd say there probably isn't one. There is likely a Lynne Hammond in TMP but I doubt she also lost her name and took a new one. Combined with the whole "I don’t scare so easy these days." comment (especially if taken with her namesake) I think it's the contrarian stance to suggest this isn't TMA's Celia at this stage. It might obviously change as we get more info but another TMA character, especially a relatively minor one, shouldn't be a surprise in the TMA sequel. How she got here is more interesting because it's likely not how JMJ managed it and probably a more calculated effort through The Gap or a similar anomaly. Either way, very excited to see where that goes.

DPHW Theory: Another set of fairly unexciting numbers. This is good and bad. The more this occurs the more likely it is I'm correct and called it very early, but it's also less fun to dig into. Either way it's 4824 which makes a good deal of sense overall. I'd expect D to be a little higher just from the statement but Needles doesn't seem like they want to kill anyone really and it's the liminal state of uncertainty that is the sweet spot for them. Pain is their game though and an 8 is a very strong showing for it. So that's all good. 2 for H also makes sense they seem to be able to disable people but not in an overtly supernatural way and I wouldn't say it was a particular focus of the ordeal. Finally, a 4 for W tracks pretty well for out pointy Distortion-lite new friend.

CAT#R# Theory: CAT1RB leaves little to be said beyond what I've already said other than what it was that I said last time probably isn't right. But I've not found a CAT#R# theory that I particularly love yet so nothing of great import has been lost.

Header talk: Back to some measure of normalcy here with Injury (needles) -/- intimidation. And I might as well talk about my current ideas for how crosslinks work. For the first few eps I had a pretty solid idea based around emotional states. Regret, Trespass, Dysmorphic, and Guilt (assuming 3 was misfiled) all seemed like the central emotional weight of each incident. But then Musical happened and that didn't fit with that idea. So I thought maybe it's about preoccupation. It's not strictly emotional but it's driven by what the incident's subject has at the forefront of their mind during the events. That would track with each of them. But then, of course, Invitation happened which makes that theory not hold up. Afterwards I thought that it might be the vector instead and the more I think about it the more it makes sense. Crosslinks might describe the route an incident takes to manifest, how it finds its way into reality. Harriet's regret pushes her to contact whichever avatar Frankenstein-ed Arthur, RedCanary's trespassing triggered the Institute's protections, Daria's dysmorphia shaped how she was able to sculpt herself, Dr. Webber's guilt drew him into the infection's grasp/the plant life in the garden spread the infection, the violin collects its payment through music, and Voyeur claimed another victim via invitation. And now we have Needles who intimidates their victims for the fear they crave. I'm sure the next episode will ruin this theory too but that's half the fun.

[beoneofus]

I HAVE TWO REQUESTS 🙏

prompts — “you’ve done it now.” & “tell me why i even took interest in you.” (separate or together is fine!) with my husband david!! 🫶

(a)6; “ you've done it now. ” - (c)8; “ remind me on why I ever took an interest in you. ”

david x fem! reader

6.9.23

++

genre ❙ heavy angst!!

word count ❙ 3.9k

warnings ❙ heavy angst. implied r*pe (not descriptive at all just hinted towards). mentions of drinking, past drinking problems. self blame, loathing. cheating? overall heart wrenching. rushed ending. if I missed anything important, let me know.

summery ❙ you wake up to a stranger you don't recognize and realize later on you made a grave mistake.

++

working a double on a friday really takes a toll on a young girl like yourself. you were only nineteen, but you maintained a regular work schedule as well as a part-time babysitter for your younger brothers. your mother often worked long hours, so it was your duty to look after them when she wasn't around. but you had to call in a rather stingy babysitter since your boss couldn't find another coworker to cover her ex-husbanda shift. you had already disliked the bastard, but now given the fact that you were exhausted from running about for nearly thirteen hours, he was on your shit list and would be hearing your mouth at some point.

that was an entire day ago, however. it was now 12:35 pm on a saturday, and you were just waking up; head pounding with a raging migraine and chills all over your body. you can't remember much except for the fact that you arrived home at almost midnight, but that could be because you had just awaken.

the migraine you had though was definitely one of a hangover. clutching at your throbbing skull with two shaky hands, you rolled over in the bed you were in and buried your face into the rumpled sheets. your skin was sticky, you were hot, and you were in absolute agony. the morning- afternoon, was already shit and the day hasn't even started for you yet.

thank god it was your day off, or else you'd be in fucking trouble.

“ well good afternoon to you, sexy! ”

you nearly shot up at the sudden booming of a males voice- your body actually jolted up right, to see just who the fuck was in your house, but you instantly hit the mattress again when the thundering rocks going through your brain returned.

not fun times.

“ wha.. ” you tried to speak, but your voice came out a rocky croak. your throat was raw and tongue as dry as sandpaper. just what the fuck happened, and what was going on?

“ here! ” the guy, whom you barely have identified — all you saw was shaggy hair that seem to be dyed —, called out before a cool glass was placed into your hand. you guessed it was water, so you weakly clasped your fingers around the cup and brought it to your crying lips. It probably wasn't a smart decision given you were in your underwear and oblivious to where you were, but you were seriously thirsty.

wait; back up a few hundred steps.

you were in your underwear. you had no clue where you were.

immediately slow sips turned into you choking and your eyes widening. you scrambled to sit up, nearly falling off the bed, to pound on your chest; the glass you held falling out of your palm and landing on the sheets, spilling everywhere. you heard the mystery man swear, but paid no mind to it.

“ hey, hey! slow breathes. ” a warm hand came in contact with your shoulder, but you wasted no time and swatted it away. your coughing slowly came to a stop, turning into small hacks, so you stood to your feet — though, wobbly. this however, did not stop you.

“ (random nickname), I think you should si— ”

“ don't-! ” you coughed one last time, only to weakly put one hand over your mouth to stop yourself from puking. your stomach was churning at this point and you didn't know how long you'd last before you'd full on blow chunks all over this man's floor. “ don't - call me that. ” slowly, inhaling through your nose, you tried your best to calm both yourself and your bodies reaction to whatever you drank. “ I'm not - we're not friends. I don't know you, I don't even know where I am. ”

through your hazy vision, you blinked, trying to look around properly. “ t-this isn't my house. my walls aren't grey. no wall i-in my house is that color.. ”

“ whoa. ” you felt a hand on your shoulder again, but this time you had no time to react. he spun you around, making you even more nauseous in the process, and placed a finger under your chin; causing you to look up at him by lifting it.

meeting blue, your stomach lurched.

“ calm down, okay? ” his eyes were wide, slight panic decorating his face. the man was handsome, but... he wasn't anywhere near-

oh shit. david.

you were supposed to meet him after your shift. what the fuck happened?

“ move! ” you didn't let this weird guy talk any further. an elbow was rammed into his side — to the best of your ability, anyway. you didn't wait for a shout of pain or anything, before turning on your heel rather pathetically and scurrying to the door. although the feel of bile could be felt rising in your throat, you didn't stop turning the knob to the door and ripping it open.

you needed to get to your boyfriend. you needed to explain to him, find out what happened. tell him you were in-

thinking went out he door because before you knew it, the floor was in your line of vision and the liquor from the early morning was leaving your system. you gagged and gagged, heaving up your stomach acids, amongst other things onto the carpet that seemed like it had just been swept. you heard footsteps behind you, along with a voice, but it all was just static to you since you were in agony.

it took minutes before your tummy didn't hurt any longer, and the gagging began to come to a close. your tonsils burned, and your nose was running, but you knew you couldn't pay attention to that right now. your main task was to get up.

shakily inhaling through your mouth, you pushed yourself off your hands weakly and sat up into a kneeling position. eyeing the puke puddle you left on the floor of whoever this was’ house, the drool falling from the corner of your mouth was wiped away with a damp towelette. your eyes swiveled upwards, only to meet blue, once again.

this reminded you of just who you needed to get to.

“ you shouldn't be m- ”

“ get out of my way. ” you spoke, panting slightly from how fast everything just went. you were weak — you never handled drinking well, and when you did drink, shit always got ugly. that's why you were such a mess, and that also explains why you remember nothing. but one thing was for certain, that just didn't click in your brain yet.

you fucked up. entirely.

“ I don't think so. ” the man in front of you now had a stern look on his face, one that seemed more frustrated by the second. “ you're not just going to throw up, on my fucking floor and then disrespect me in my own house as if it's okay. and let's not forget you put your hands on me. ” he narrowed his eyes. “ I deserve an apology, and respect, y/n. ”

you scoffed, but said nothing. your mind was far too foggy to argue. your head hurt way too bad.

so instead, you settled on getting to your feet. putting one hand on the ground, you wobbly pushed yourself forward; using one knee to boost yourself up, while the other shifted, until your foot was touching the floor. then, using the banister beside you, you used it as a crutched to officially get off the carpet. your posture was shitty, but you couldn't give a damn about that. you embarrassed yourself enough, and now you just wanted to get out of this strangers house.

“ why am I naked? ” you managed to finally question, once you remembered you were in only your underwear and bra from the chill that passed down your back. the question was uncalled for, since the answer was so obvious — you just didn't put it together in your head until you recalled being in this man's bed and him calling you sexy.

“ fuck... ” your eyes widened. looking at the floor for a full minute; then your eyes darted onto the face of the man before you. “ we had sex, didn't we? ”

“ yes. ” he spoke coldly, all while folding his arms over his bare chest. “ for hours, might I add. ”

“ hours..? ” you spoke quietly, shock evident in your tone. mouth slightly agape in pure horror. “ n... no. oh my god, no. ”

“ no? ” he raised a brow questionably.

“ this can't be happening.. ” you were shaking your head, placing it in your hands out of hurt, embarrassment, resentment... among other puzzled emotions. you just couldn't believe you got so drunk that you slept with someone you didn't know — on top of that, someone who wasn't david.

“ but it already d- ”

“ shut- ” your head whipped upwards angrily while you pointed a finger at him. “ the fuck up. I was fucking intoxicated, I had no clue what I was doing! ” tears were welling your eyes. your heart was thumping in your chest and you could feel your walls just breaking. “ I didn't mean to... I didn't mean to. ”

“ but you did. ” he scoffed. “ own up to your mistakes. by your reaction, I can tell you've done this shit in the past. ”

your blood was boiling now. “ no the fuck I haven't! I've made mistakes, but I've never cheated on my damn boyfriend! ”

“ boyfriend? ” the guy grinned, quite cruelty. “ tsk, tsk, tsk. you're a little whore, aren't you? ”

you were... speechless. so taken back, that you couldn't even form a response to that.

Instead, shutting your mouth, you stormed back over in the direction of his room and entered it; only to grab your clothes quickly.

“ where are you going?! ”

“ the fuck out of here, obviously! ” you growled, messily putting on the jeans that, now, were partially ripped on the leg. did he rip your fucking pants off?

“ oh no you- ”

after putting on your shirt, you whirled around, coming face to face with the fucker. you rose your hand and didn't even pause for a second, before slapping him across the face. “ watch me! ”

+

the fact that you forgot your car in all this made your mood ten times worse. you were on a hot bus, with ruined clothes, your hair a mess, mascara running across your cheeks and a pain between your thighs that was a real pain in the ass. you didn't know what it was from, but the thought of an oncoming uti crossed your mind. or even a fucking std. It horrified you and nearly made you cry again, but you forced the tears away.

your feet ached. your thighs ached. your back ached. your stomach hurt. everything just felt shitty. you couldn't wait to be home... but, just exactly what would your mother say? your brothers, once they saw your state?

or shit... even david. he'll probably throw you to the curb.

putting your head in your hands, you sighed heavily. the whole day was hell and it wasn't even over yet.

It wasn't long before the bus pulled to a stop, the door opening. with downcast eyes, you got up from the cool seat, and made your way to the front of the bus.

“ hey, little lady? ”

the southern voice of the old bus driver pulled you from your thoughts. you were on the last step of the bus, about to get off, but turned to see what he wanted.

“ he'll get 'imself karma. ” was all he said, followed by a nod. “ hospital is right down the road. find your way there, miss. ”

you stepped off without a word, and watched the door close before he pulled off. you didn't know what he was referring to, but you're glad you were by a hospital. you could rest there, and call your mother to pick you up.

so, you head in the direction the nearest sign pointed to. south. you walked, trying your best not to press your thighs together, and began dyling your mom's number.

+

“ oh my god, y/n! ”

your mother rushed to you as soon as you stood from the bench that sat on the outskirts of the emergency room. the whole time you sat there, worried looks were passed your way and a nurse even came out and questioned you. you brushed her off, however, and shooed her away. multiple attempts were given before she finally left you be, and you were thankful she was concerned, but you just rather not deal with anyone.

“ what happened to you? ” tears welled up in her eyes, as she took you by the shoulders and looked your body over. “ my god, your jeans are ripped and you look a mess! did someone hurt you? was it a man? do I need to cut his damn penis off?! ”

you sighed, exhausted... not only physically, either. “ mum, please... I just want to go home. I'm.. not okay, but I don't want to talk about it. It's my fault. ”

she paused, her eyes zeroing in on your in utter seriousness, and disbelief. “ your fault? look at your state, baby! I highly doubt this is your fault! ” she sniffled, wrapping an arm around the back of your shoulders. “ but okay - please, come. let's get to the car... ”

+

“ your brothers are at your nan’s for the day. when you didn't come home I was worried sick, so i was glad when you called. I dropped them off right before I came to get you. ” your mother explained the way she felt, as well as the whereabouts of your younger siblings for your sake, all while walking you into the house. she saw how you lightly limped, and how your hand would shakily reach down to the middle of your legs in the car. It made her stomach churn at the thought of what happened to you — she felt so sick, that she had to forcefully not look at you, or else she'd cry.

“ that's great, mum. ” you croaked, your tone not chipper or smart like usual. it only sent more worry to the older lady's heart.

“ please... ” she stopped you in the doorway by placing a gentle touch to your arm. looking you in the eye, sincerity and concern could be seen in her glistening orbs. “ tell me what happened, babydoll. I'm your mom, I have to know... ”

you stared her down with an empty, yet heartbroken gaze. just how exactly could you tell your mom you drank again, after making a vow you wouldn't, and in the process cheated on the man you love?

when, in reality.. It wasn't your fault. you just didn't know that.

“ I can't tell you... not without - ” you had to stop since tears began filling your waterline. a frog got stuck in your throat, making you almost choke on your own incoming sob. “ not without telling you how fucking gross I am. you'll be so disappointed. ”

a deep frown grew on her lips. “ honey, I may be disappointed, I may not. whatever happened, though, I know you need to let it out. I'm your mama - I want to help you. and, hey— ” she sadly smiled. “ I could never judge you. we're only human. ”

“ I... ” tears now fell down your cheeks, gliding over the apples of them in reflecting glory; showing just how much this truly hurt you. “ I got drunk... and slept with another man.... a-and the worst part is, is that I don't remember any of it. ” you couldn't stop yourself from sobbing. “ I'm sorry! I didn't m-mean to drink! ”

your hands flew up to your eyes to cover them. fisting away the tears as best as you could; rubbing your eyes aggressively, so much that it felt as if you got brush burn. the whole time, your mom couldn't help but to stare at you with so many negative emotions. not even at you... but the fact, that her suspicions of what happened were confirmed.

“ honey... ” she whispered, both a horrified and sympathetic look plastered on her face.

“ i-i'm sorry! please, don't be mad! ” but, you didn't hear her. not over the heart wrenching cries you let out. not over the loud beating of your blood in your ears. you were far too upset to listen to what she had to say.

so she said nothing. instead, the woman wrapped her arms around you and tightly squeezed. you instantly tucked your face into the crook of her neck, letting your hot tears soak into her skin.

her gut was turning in anguish. your mother had no clue how to handle this situation... but one things for certain - it wasn't your fault.

she just hoped david saw it that way.

+

“ where were you last night? ”

It was hours later. you had cried for a full sixty minutes before falling asleep. and a long nap you had, indeed. It wasn't until six something in the evening that you awoke - and when you did, your mother prepared you warm tea with lemon in it to sooth your headache and body. after downing it, you got a hot bath and dressed yourself.

though, each time you eyed the dirty laundry pile in the bathroom, you couldn't help but think of the fact that you... slept with another person. that's why you immediately high tailed it to the cave once eight o’clock rolled around.

now, it was dwayne who was walking you down the slippery slope that was the cave's entrance. he had been outside watching the stars, which he sometimes does, so he agreed to walk with you inside.

“ ... that's actually why I'm here. ” you were quiet and avoiding eye contact with him, which he found strange. dwayne was no dummy, he instantly picked up your odd body language, and perplexing responses, so he figured something had to have happened. “ I need to talk to david. ” and he was right about that.

“ I see... ” the vampire eyed you for a moment, questions circling his mind. “ he's in the nest. has been since he awoke. I suggest keeping a low tone, though.. he's been pretty agitated. ”

you innerly winced at that, but nodded.

after hopping off the ledge and greeting both marko and paul, you made your way around the corner, into the darker part of the rocky place. It smelled like well water and moss in this part of the cave, where you guys’ nest was located, but you never really minded.

however.. it reminded you that all the sweet times you two had was soon to be swept down the drain.

“ david? ” you softly called his name out, peaking around the corner and into the sacred room. you spotted his figure, which was sitting down, facing away from you - but he didn't budge. your lips formed a tight line at that, causing you to sigh to yourself.

“ davey? ”

“ where were you last night? ” it was that same question, once again. the one that made you nearly flinch. coming out of his mouth, it sounded so much more harsh... but you could understand why.

“ I... ” desperately searching for some words that made sense was harder than it seemed. actually, saying the shit that was on your mind was the hardest part of it all. especially the truth. just how were you supposed to tell him what happened, when you don't even know yourself?

“ tell me. ” with his vampiric speed, he was up out of his seat and in front of your face within the blink of an eye. you expected much, but it still made you jump. “ were you avoiding me? or wait- did you somehow forget, that we were supposed to meet? ”

his face showed nothing, aside from small bits of anger, by twitches here and there. it honestly didn't seem like he was too pissed, but by his tone and the oncoming questions - you knew better. he was very mad. and it was only going to get worse.

“ no... ”

you were quiet upon speaking, to the point where the regular human ear wouldn't hear. but, david did hear, he just acted like he didn't and spoke over you. “ — let me guess, you found something more interesting to do. like drink. am I right? ”

the condescending, mocking look on david's face scared the shit out of you and made you not want to answer. after all, he never fully trusted you after the last drinking incident — which just so happened to be you flirting with his brothers. so, he had reason to be angry. before, you said it wasn't your fault; that you had no control over your actions. but you realized, this time, it went too far. you were completely at fault here, because you weren't supposed to drink...

“ yes.. ” you whispered, looking to the floor in shame. “ b-but... that's.. not all. ” your heart beat loudly in your ears, and you stuttered badly just on a single word; struggling to spill what needed to be said. “ I... fuck- I- ” you swallowed heavily, before looking him in his cold, raw blue eyes. “ I slept with someone. ”

your lips wobbled as you watched his face slowly fall. the cockiness vanished, as did the riled up look in his eyes. now, they were... hallow. “ what? ”

“ I didn't mean to.. ” you whispered, eyes now glossing over with tears. “ i-i know it's my fault, but I don't even remember it... I don't remember it at all. ”

“ ... you're lying, right? ” he mumbled, his brows drawn together loosely.. confusion and disbelief on his face. his eyes even darted back in forth from you, to the floor, to the walls, to you. you could only imagine the hurtful thoughts clouding his head right now. “ you're just doing this to get a rise out of me, aren't you? ”

you shook your head, silently.

“ you're fucking serious? ” the hardness that entered his tone spooked you, but you nodded slowly, facing the consequences of what you had done.

“ ... you've done it now. ” his voice was purely low, by now. dead with... disgust. hatred. “ you truly have done it this time, y/n. ”

“ I'm s— ”

“ ya’ know, ” he scoffed, stepping closer to you, not even letting you talk. the fact that his eyes were switching between amber and ocean blue was truly not a good sign at all, either - and you wanted to run. to flee, completely, but you knew whatever happen to you... you deserved. “ I love you. loved you. and I don't even know why; remind me... ” he looked you, dead set in the eye, with burning orange orbs and a teeth full of fangs. “ remind me, on what I ever saw in you... ”

you were shaking at this point, completely speechless of what to say. tears were pouring down your cheeks in silent suffering - and the thoughts? don't even get me started. you just wanted this entire thing to end... this madness, this nightmare, to come to an eternal fucking stop.

and it does.

david closes his eyes and takes a step back. his arms locked to his sides, before he shoves them into the pockets of his trench coat; fisting the fabric into his itching claws.

“ just.. go. ”

“ what? ” you squeak out, pathetically.. shakily.

“ I said go! ” he yells, causing you to jump. “ get the fuck out of santa carla, and don't come back. If I see your face around here again... ” david turns, only to look at you with _tears_ in his eyes.. “ I'll tear your head from your fucking shoulders. ”

[spacenintendogs]

😈 Trick or Treat!! 🌔🦇✨

TREAT!!!!! :)

have a big ol' chunk from my snotstrid fic (a later chapter)

It's quiet in Astrid's room. Her parents are out for the day and the rest of their friends are either working or have another engagement. No need for her and Snotlout to put on a show like they usually do.

They can simply exist.

These days are her favorite. She won't admit it, and neither will Snotlout. She knows they're his favorite, too.

They're sitting on her bed. Snotlout is quietly scrolling on his phone while Astrid reads a book Fishlegs let her borrow. It's alright. It's a mystery novel, one that's as predictable as the rest of the ones Astrid has read but the characters are good enough. They at least have personalities. She pauses in her reading at the feeling of Snotlout laying his head down on her lap. Astrid folds the corner of the page she's on and shuts the book. The slap of the book closing startles Snotlout.

"Sorry," Astrid says blandly. Snotlout hums as an acknowledgment of her apology and goes back to scrolling. He's got his phone tilted enough so she can see. It's nothing special. He'll stop to watch a video he finds funny and snort at it. Sends it to one of the twins. Keeps scrolling. Shares a post. Keeps scrolling. Replies to an argument that doesn't matter and never involves him. Keeps scrolling. Blocks the person he'd responded to because they responded back. Keeps scrolling.

Astrid smiles as she watches him make a post, scrolling through his camera roll to find the best photos of Hookfang he has saved. He's switched to the sanctuary's account. When Hiccup initially gave everyone access to the account, Astrid had been so sure it would be a mistake. Nothing has happened except maybe a small battle in who could get the coolest or cutest photo of their dragons. The current one Snotlout has chosen is pretty cute. Hookfang is rolled up in a tangled ball with a small part of his tongue sticking out. Astrid gently runs her fingers through Snotlout's hair as he makes a ridiculous caption and uploads the post. Snotlout sighs and locks his phone, setting it down next to him on the bed.

Astrid continues to run her fingers through his hair as he dozes off. She likes how long his hair has gotten. It's much thicker now, and when he doesn't have it sticking up from the ridiculous gel he uses, it rests nicely on his shoulders. He's recently washed it, probably because he knew he'd be coming over today. It feels soft and looks very fluffy. He also has those matching dark, thick eyebrows. Snotlout claims he doesn't do his eyebrows, but with how shaped they are, and the tweezers she's found in his bathroom after seeing the area around his eyebrows being bright red, he definitely does. Not that she's complaining. He does a nice job.

Her eyes move to the rest of his face. Snotlout's eyes are closed, making it easy to see his long, dark lashes. She swears, men always seem to have the prettier eyelashes. His cheeks are red from sunburn, and the rest of his face is tanned from previous sunburns. Freckles and blemishes are abundant across his face. He loves the sun. He likes being warm.

The dark scraggles of facial hair above his lips and on his chin aren't impressive. He claims he's growing facial hair for her, but somehow his hair grows everywhere else on his body. She doesn't want him to shave his face, though. He looks far too clean when he does.

Astrid's eyes wander down to his strong chest and arms. Summer means tank tops for him. Shirtless whenever he can. His tan lines are nearly non-existent on his upper body. The tank top he's wearing now is loose enough that it hangs low and the sides are open to show his side boob. Astrid snorts to herself at referring to his side boob as side boob.

"What?" Snotlout asks, not amused in the slightest. He hasn't bothered to open his eyes, which is fine. He doesn't need to know she's ogling him. It'd make his ego far too big if that is possible.

"Nothing. Go back to sleep."

"I'm not sleeping," Snotlout mumbles as he shifts himself a little bit and resettles.

"Sure, Lout. Now go back to sleep."

[hms-no-fun]

where did the idea for roserot come from?

fittingly enough, it's sort of an amalgamated flowchart of ideas that evolved over the course of writing the latter half of 3.1. uhhh i guess godfeels spoilers below the break??

it started with killing davepeta. i knew june would kill davepeta and that it wouldn't be permanent, but that it *would* still be very costly for them in some way. my oldest plan for how to actually do that was reaaaaally nasty though. for a long time after the big fight in chapter 8, dana and crew would end up in the debris field around the moon at one ship that hadn't been torn apart... except it had no power. so june resurrected davepeta, inside of a battery that used them as an energy source. which would of course be torturous in some sense because like, come on, if you're gonna make a living battery it's gotta suck. like they don't make being a yellowblood in act 5 seem cool at all. shit's gotta be horrific if it's to have any meaning at all conceptually.

and that's just a bit too edgy for godfeels. this story's dark but i don't want it to be *mean.* davepeta hasn't earned that treatment and it's just kind of a waste of their character. it sucks and it feels bad and it doesn't really mean anything narratively. like oh you put a really likeable character in a torture box to torture them? what's jade gonna do, get more mad??? it's boring. it's a boring situation to put those characters in because all it really is is them going grrrrrrr and then waiting until i can contrive a way to reverse my goddamn mistake and get them back to square one.

so then i decided instead that rose would go grimdark, have her head cut off, her corpse would become a sort of oozing mass of oil and tentacles and lovecraftian corruption, so naturally june would use *her* for a battery instead. what is it about rose lalonde that makes this exact some conceit so much more palatable? like it's still fucked up but you know she would approve. and oh, mary, soaring through the stars on a ship powered by her dead wife's seething eldritch radioactivity! the romance is palpable. that's got some gas, you know?

but when i really got started on chapter 8 i realized i could cut out a whole chunk of pointless faffing about with june and dana trying to get some junk ship working, and escaping with it, and doing whatever until they eventually somehow rendezvous with lenore... by just using june's fucking super power to directly transport us to the plot palace boogie cruiser hotel. seriously i didn't plan to get into ANY of that stuff until 3.3, and honestly getting us to the comet *now* is just so much better in every way

but that means: no more need for a battery powered by main character death. which is great for the fandom, but now i've got these fucking plot points (bodies) just dangling around with nothing to do! davepeta's an easy fix because june could just fax them out to jade, the whole thing writes itself from there really, it's a softer landing, less cynical, and as with the comet it sets us up to get right to The Good Bits instead of fucking around spinning wheels. it puts the trauma directly into the hands of the people who will have to process it while under the gaze of the narrative. cut to the chase baby.

so what about rose? i knew that she as a character would die but that some wretched fact of her physical presence needed to become an animate antagonist force in some capacity. you'd think that epigone would be an obvious connection, and you're right! but i literally did not know epigone existed until it just fucking *showed up* at the end of dirk's chapter. i literally typed that fucking smiley after the cut to black and went

so anyway i then had to invent the metaphysics of ideaspace out of nothing and develop an entire narrative architecture to justify whatever the fuck that smiley was, a process which included making the above obvious connection vis a vis rose's corpse. from there it was easy to piggyback epigone off of dirk's newly-planned resurrection, and once i got a read on epigone's actual *character?* oh my god it was like angels singing, but in the worst most awful and bad way possible! the more i wrote of rotrose, the more possibilities emerged, and now it just so happens that this freak abomination slots perfectly into the spot of a villainous thing that i knew needed to be present in that section of the story but which had until then been entirely vague to me.

that's the godfeels writing process in a nutshell, basically. if i ever seem astonished that chapter 8 makes any sense at all, this is why. and it's quite literally the reason i committed to a lengthy planning phase before writing 3.2 in earnest, because as much of a thrill as that was it is something i absolutely never want to do again. i will probably end up having to do something like it again sooner or later because this story just can't help throwing me fucking curveballs at the last second, but hopefully it won't be quite so irresponsible next time.

uh anyway that is the origin of rotrose. you're welcome

[e-m-p-error]

WHAT IS MY MUSE AFRAID OF? - Vick

In the list below, bold all the fears your muse currently has, italicize all the fears they've worked through or grown out of, answer the questions below, and then pass it on by tagging your favorite muns to participate!

COMMON FEARS & PHOBIAS:

The dark l Small spaces l Suffocation l Water l Thunderstorms l Dogs l Snakes l Spiders l Insects l Clowns l Blood l Dentists l Hospitals l Needles l Germs l Heights l Fire l Insects l Public speaking l Large crowds l Meeting new people l Being alone l Being touched l Failure l Imperfection l Societal rejection l Physical intimacy l Emotional intimacy l Being abandoned l Being forgotten

What other fears do they have? Vick is very averse to taking anything to help him sleep, even something like melatonin, because of how he died. He would rather suffer with his insomnia than risk dying like that again. He is also afraid of dying alone again.

Why do they have these fears? Are these fears innate, trauma-based, or generational? A good chunk of these fears are trauma-based. Everything but the hospitals, germs, and fire are trauma-related fears. Those three are innate fears.

Have they ever tried to work through or confront these fears? How did it go? When he died, he came to terms with the fact that he was, ultimately, a forgettable guy. He didn't think his passing really effected anyone, except for maybe his father, and he slowly began to be okay with that. His impact in the world was small, but his impact in Hell could be larger.

Tagged By: @keykeepingbastardtm

Tagging: Whoever hasn't done it that wants to, or if you want to do it again for a different character for multimuses!

[microsuedemouse]

I'm just!! so goddamn fucking sad and lonely and frustrated

I miss my Nana so much. I've never lost someone so important to me and it's just this big gaping wound I don't know how to close. it scabs over but man it's just a SCAB where I'm missing a CHUNK. I don't even have to pick at it; it gets caught on just anything and tears open and bleeds and hurts and everyone says all you can do is wait for it to heal on its own but how am I supposed to do that

I put in a request for the day off on the 17th when we're burying her, but my manager apparently hasn't noticed and she scheduled me that day. and like. I know our bereavement policy entitles me to a day off for funeral/burial services. but I just don't want to have to go talk to my manager about it. it feels like such a personal thing to have to bring up to someone directly. and I don't know how to mention it without crying anyway, and my current manager is like... the last person at work I want to cry in front of

I had my first shift back at work today after three fucking weeks out sick. I'm still noticeably coughing/sniffling but it was time to get back to it. a couple supervisors said something like 'oh glad you're feeling better' and the customer service desk colleague who took a lot of my sick calls said she was glad to see me. besides that I had One Person ask where I'd been. others seemed surprised, when I had cause to mention how long I'd been off. and like... I know they're just my coworkers, and there are lots of reasons that people might have noticed my absence and still not said anything, but I feel. so uncared about. I saw people today that I at least THOUGHT I was on pretty friendly terms with who didn't say a word. and it's just. I know my coworkers aren't my friends, I know they have their own lives, I know it's possible to go a while without overlapping shifts and not really notice, but... it stings. I've been trying so hard for an entire goddamn year to connect with these people at all and it feels like no one really cared that I was sick for three weeks, except in that they had to figure out who was covering my shifts.

I've had jobs with people I cared about. I've worked places that people were happy to have me back after I had strep for a week. I'm not saying everyone at work Should be friends, but it would be nice not to feel so alienated from everyone.

and like, it sucks that I rely on work for all my social contact. I wish I could see my friends more easily. if I hadn't been sick I could've seen some people around Halloween, but that didn't work out. I can count On One Hand the outside-of-work in-person social interactions I've had with friends this calendar year. and I've been TRYING to connect with people closer to where I am but it's just so fucking hard to make anything happen.

my best friend loves me but is fairly inconsistent at responding to texts. I adore my friends' big discord but I feel lost and distant when I try to participate. no one else really thinks to message me directly almost ever. I don't blame anyone for any of this, because I'm not doing much better, but it ends with me being so disconnected from everything and everyone.

I hate the 'if they cared, they'd reach out' attitude. it's not fair and I don't believe in it. I know my friends care, and I know I'm not making myself super easy to reach out to a lot of the time. but I also hate that I just missed three weeks of work and apparently a bunch of my coworkers didn't even notice. like... do I exist? am I still here at all?

I keep thinking of things I admired in my Nana, and how much I wish I could be more like her. Not just so I could feel more like she's with me, but because I think a lot of the things she was good at are things I could really use right now. she knew how to talk to anyone. she knew how to work hard. she knew how to live life fully and enjoy things and take opportunities.

I hate daylight savings and dark falling at 5pm. I hate that all my friends are so far away. I hate that connecting with new people is so fucking hard. I hate that my birthday is less than a week away and I feel nothing about it except sad that my Nana won't be there. I hate that I don't know how to have a proper conversation with almost anyone anymore, even people I love immensely. I hate having to remind myself that the baseline good things I still have are Something To Be Grateful For instead of just like, the basis of any kind of life. (of course I'm thankful to live with the family I adore, to have a safe home, to be employed at all... but it sucks that I'm stuck at like, the bottom of maslow's pyramid. I want more than this and I'm tired of feeling guilty for wanting more than this.) I hate knowing that we're headed into winter, which is always a hard time of year, and it's only going to be harder this time if something doesn't get better really soon. I don't want to be sad or lonely anymore!! I want something good to happen!! I want to matter!! I want to feel joy that lasts longer than a giggle at a youtube video!! I want to be a person again!!

[10dance]

This was such a sweet chapter! First off, I have to say this cover is great, it makes me so happy. If the snake entangled with Sugiki on the cover of ch.10 is Suzuki, is it safe to assume this leopard is Sugiki..? They are forming a heart together, how adorable.

We see that the ad from the last chapter was another flash-foward, which gets me ever so excited to see what the future brings for them. But for now, they are still waking up at ungodly hours of the day to go to early photoshoots. Suzuki is pondering about Sugiki again when the obvious answer is to talk to him and go to him??? These two guys are too thick in the skull, I'm afraid...

That doesn't stop Suzuki from looking gorgeous in this update, though. In the server we were gushing about the return of this hairstyle, and I've really missed it! The slick-back style used in competitions is great and all, but I do miss Suzuki and his free-flowing hair.

Suzuki stops by his old house to get some stuff, and says that it hasn't even been that long since he moved out. Haha... he moved out in chapter 31 which was released in the spring of 2020, so it's almost been 4 years for the readers! The last time Inoue drew the entrance to the Suzuki apartment was in chapter 9.5 (as far as I can remember), and it's really cool that Inoue paid attention to all the minute details, like the wooden beams partitioning the door and the tiles in the entryway.

The way the panels are drawn is definitely a callback to Toshinobu coming home to see Aki's shoes. But this time we are led to believe that Toshinobu does have a girlfriend..! In the server we immediately went on to theorize about who it could be. Not proud to say it but my first thought was Sugiki's mother... I sure hope this is a red herring Inoue set up or else it would be extremely awkward if I was right... Then again, my predictions are usually wrong!

We move on from the detour that suspiciously got a fair chunk of the chapter to the main plot: Aki and Suzuki talking about love. The last time we really saw Aki have a long speaking scene was in around volume 4, so I'm glad we're shifting the focus to her this time. She talks about this guy she's seeing, and she's completely head over heels... she's talking about me, guys. She appeared so calm and collected when we saw her talking with Urashima at the start of 39, who would've thought she'd be so flustered like this! Aki deserves someone who will treat her right after all the shitty guys she's been with.

Aki is willing to tell Suzuki more about the man she's seeing than Suzuki, but still won't say his name. It would be such a funny bit to have them introduce their respective boyfriends to each other and be in for a shock.

Anyway, Aki starts gushing about Urashima and how they haven't even kissed yet but she's thinking of marrying him?? And it was all well and good at first, Suzuki was having fun teasing Aki, but as soon as she says that he's in their field of work, his mind wanders... Picturing Aki and Sugiki together cracks me up because that is quite possibly the most sexless pairing in this manga! They do look good in Suzuki's mental image of them, though.

(below is a reenactment of Suzuki's reaction:)

They change topic to talk about Suzuki's own love life. Everyone except Suzuki himself can see how much anguish he was in without his pillar, and Aki had to bear the brunt of it by being his partner and channeling his emotions on the dance floor. Suzuki, please go easy on her... First he commits to the 10 Dance and puts more work on Aki's shoulders and now this, lol. They've been together for long, so Aki really is one of the only people who understand him well. It is pretty funny that she still doesn't know who he is in love with, but I also find it very nice that she gives him space so he can tell her when he's ready.

Also, we get more baby Shinya and Aki, look her pudgy cheeks!!

Aki ends the first part of the chapter by beckoning Suzuki to go for it and find happiness with his beloved. Say it louder! I hope this can finally be the push Suzuki needs to go to Sugiki and have a real conversation instead of kissing him impulsively.

I really like this chapter, it was a refresher from all the competition, dance politics, and overall sadness from 39-40. It looks like there will be a scene change after this update so I hope we get to see how Sugiki's holding up after his talk with Max.

10 Dance - chapter 41, part 1 summary

As Suzuki and Aki work at an early morning photoshoot, the two end up having a heart-to-heart discussion regarding each of their love lives.

Full summary and highlight images under the cut

Chapter 41, part 1: Time to Say Goodbye, and

Published online on January 19th, 2024, available to purchase on Comic Days, or rent for 10 days on Yanmaga.

Some time has passed since chapter 40, indicated by Suzuki and Aki looking less tan than they have in recent chapters. Riding in Saichi’s car, Suzuki still can’t stop thinking about the astonishing sight of Sugiki freezing up at the end of the Japan Inter. Saichi comments on how early it is, and that even following the competition Suzuki and Aki haven’t really had any time off. Suzuki replies that lately their photoshoots have always been this early, and internally keeps wondering what he should do about Sugiki. They stop to pick up a tired looking Aki, and Suzuki asks Saichi if they can stop by his old place on the way. Saichi asks if he’s contacted his father to let him know he’s coming, and Suzuki says no; since it’s so early, he’s just going to sneak in quickly and grab some stuff he needs.

As Suzuki walks into his father’s place, he thinks that even though it hasn’t been that long since he moved out, he still feels a bit nostalgic coming back here. In the entryway, he notices a pair of women’s shoes, and decides to come back another day instead. As he gets back into the car, Aki asks how his father was doing, and he excitedly mentions the shoes he saw, adding that he’s thought for a while that his father might be dating someone since he would sometimes not come home until morning.

At the studio, as a makeup artist attends to the pair, Aki asks Suzuki what this photoshoot is for, and he notes that she’s seemed to be out of it lately, teasing that she must have found a man she’s interested in. Aki blushes and hides her face, confirming his suspicions as he grins and pats her head. He asks how far the relationship has gone, and Aki, not wanting to reveal too much with the makeup artist in the room, switches into Spanish to say that though they’ve only gone out to eat a few times, she feels like she wants to marry him, which causes Suzuki to spit out his drink. Aki says that he’s not aggressive at all, but is instead chivalrous and gives her a sense of security. Suzuki comments that he seems totally different from her usual type, and Aki nods in agreement. Suzuki asks if she’s really serious about the marriage comment, and she replies that they actually haven’t even kissed yet, and he’s so different from the other men she’s dated that she doesn’t know what to do. Suzuki insists that she should let him meet this guy so he can judge his chivalry for himself, but Aki refuses, saying that she can’t do that yet and it’s someone who’s involved in their work. At first Suzuki grins and says he thought it might be something like that, but then looks concerned as he remembers some past comments Aki made about Sugiki. He imagines the two of them looking sexy together as he asks if it’s him, but Aki denies it; she may be a huge fan of Sugiki, but she has absolutely no desire to marry him.

A few shots are shown of the photoshoot (once again featuring the pair in a clothing ad that displays hardly any clothing at all), and afterward as they’re having a break, Aki brings up the fact that Suzuki seems unhappy lately. She asks if he’s aware of how he was dancing at the recent competition, and wonders what happened to make him like that. Ever since they were little, she’s been the one who embodies and conveys Suzuki’s feelings and expressions while they dance, somewhat like a shaman. She gets caught up in his emotions and feels the same things he does, so his happiness is her happiness, and his pain is her pain. Suzuki tries to act like nothing is wrong, but Aki interrupts to ask if this has something to do with the person he loves. Speaking Spanish again, she invites him to hug her like they did when they were little, affectionately calling him her older brother, and the two embrace.

Suzuki wonders about how harsh his dancing must have been, and Aki says his rampage left her body pretty worn out. She’s always been able to tell when he’s having romantic problems since it comes through to her when they join hands, but this time even though it seems that he’s feeling a passionate love that overflows from his very core, he’s trying to act like it never even happened, completely disregarding his own desires. She grabs his hand like they’re in hold and tears flow from her eyes as she says aloud the things she feels from Suzuki, such as how he wants to be with the one he loves, how he yearns to touch them, how he doesn’t want to sully them, and how he loves them. Suzuki says she’s freaking him out as he pulls his hand away, and a startled Aki asks who the hell he is. This isn’t like him at all; the Shinya she knows rushes right in without a second thought when he finds someone special. Suzuki starts to talk about how they’re still connected to each other in some way, but Aki interrupts and says none of them can be happy like this; not her as his partner, not Suzuki himself, and not the one he loves. He needs to find happiness together with his beloved.

Previous chapter: #40 part 3

Next chapter: Currently, there is no information regarding the next release date.

[lazybakerart]

What is Billy's initial reaction to being called cute the first time? He's used to sexy, desirable, hunky, etc. But not cute. No one has called him cute since he was a little kid.

Billy's just trying to rent Gremlins.

It's not even for him. It's for Max and Susan and the Every Tuesday Movie Night they keep pushing on him. Family bonding. Neil's out of the picture, but Billy's hanging around. Stuck on the sofa. Sporting a blown out chest and a limp, with an attitude Doc Owens calls there isn't even a cup for you, is there?

"I got something on my face, Harrington?" Billy snaps. Can feel Steve's big dumb eyes on him since he walked in and grabbed the first horror movie on the shelf he hasn't seen twenty times already.

Max loves this kind of shit. She got it from Susan.

Steve's propped up on the counter, kicking his size fourteens in the air while Buckley rings Billy up. She's smiling. She knows some shit Billy doesn't. There's an inside joke in the air and Billy wants to be outside before he feels the kick of the punchline.

"Just." Steve jumps down. Eyes narrowed. As good as any glare Billy earned full heartedly back in school. Things were a lot simpler then. Billy misses that kind of easy hate.

Steve leans his elbows on the counter, face crossing the border keeping customer and clerk separate for their own good.

"When did you get cute?" Steve says. "Like? What the hell? Right, Robin? Isn't he all - " Steve waggles his hand at Billy, " - Like, cute and shit now?"

Buckley considers him. "I mean - "

" - He's, like, cute." Steve doubles down because he's insane.

Billy drops his change, coins bounce and skitter on the floor. He spins on his heel and is outside, under the warm sunshine that no longer stings and feels like it's burning him anyways, glaring up at the sun.

Tuesdays are good days to come to Family Video. People are either at work or in school.

Billy's in charge of picking the movie for Movie Nights. All it took to get a family was for his to fuck off.

Billy shaved and nicked himself five times before coming here.

It's the only place he can manage to leave the trailer for without having a completely bonafide meltdown.

Cute. Billy's never gotten that one before. Hot. Trouble. A disgrace.

His face is on fire.

He might actually cry.

"Sorry. I didn't think you'd - at school you didn't - I don't know what I thought." Steve finishes, sighing. The door to Family Video rings closed behind him.

Steve's sneakers are covered in black ink doodles. Billy walks himself up to peaking at those big dumb eyes.

Steve holds out Gremlins and a Snickers bar.

"For your movie night." Steve tells him, shoving the both of them at Billy. Max has a big mouth. She probably told everyone Billy got choked up watching The Shining.

"You really think I'm cute?" Billy says. Can't not. He used to have a hair trigger. Now there's nothing separating him from the gun powder.

at school you didn't -

Billy would have lived for it. Would have howled and had Steve in the backseat of the camaro by lunch if that's what Steve's offering without Billy having to chase it out of him.

Except Billy's not that anymore. Doesn't even have his camaro if he wanted to.

Steve laughs, heat sitting pretty on his cheeks. He tucks his hair behind his ear. It's been months since Billy last called Steve anything other than Harrington.

"Is that weird?" Steve says.

"You're a freak, freak." Billy lets him know. He unwraps the Snickers and bites a chunk out of it. Pretty boy. Maybe he'll try next week. Camaro or not, he still wants to.

And Steve still has his beemer.

[discet]

If you don't mind me asking another AWiW question before the next story starts: if AWiW!Marcy's pre-Amphibia backstory with her neglectful parents was applied to canon!Marcy, how do you imagine it would affect the events of the last couple episodes?

I don't mind!

So if they dropped it in the last couple episodes, the answer is that it would be extremely narratively jarring and derail the theme of accepting change, as I've said in the past, it really hard to deliver the message of 'Change is scary but its something we need to embrace' when you bring in emotionally loaded complications like abuse/neglect

That said there were probably ways to make it work with either with either leaning into the fantasy element or towards realism

Okay, so. originally I had two ideas but I got way more invested in one that turned into essential a rewrite fanfic for season 3. This got a little out of hand. Enjoy! Or not!

Option 1: I Just Didn't Want to Be Alone

Option 2: A World of My Choosing

Okay this got away from me. Canon stays the same with the following exceptions. Which get a lot denser in changes season 3

We get a little foreshadowing in S2a with Anne remarking to Marcy at some point early in their reunion about how their parents must be missing them and Marcy kind of moving past the topic (kind of like she does when the fight with Sasha is first brought up)

Newt Moms: Marcy does actually develop a really strong relationship with Lady Olivia and maybe Yunan. Olivia I think is easy to explain given their already friendly relationship in canon. For Yunan I think it would be revealed that she's the one who ran Marcy through basic training and they bonded over fighting pirates. This would probably be shown in a little episode somewhere in the Newtopia arc, where Marcy recruits Anne to try and get the two newts to confess to each other. This backfires cause of course it does, but also kind of works as Yunan and Olivia banter a bit afterwards about it. This is establish that Marcy has roots in Amphibia that are not purely built on escapism.

Turning Point: Big difference, Sasha still comes to realize her mistake but doesn't go back to Wartwood, her and grime rally the toads and fight along side them. I like Sasha's redemption but I want her to actually need to confront Anne and not have all her development while Anne is away. Anyways in turning point the toads are arguing for basically leaving the rest of the continent to rot and fight for themselves. Sasha gets her first step of redemption in arguing against this arguing practically, and morally, they can't leave everyone else to die and basically duels her way into leading the toads through force of will. A mid point for her redemption as she is still controlling but now with much better intentions. She'll complete this arc as she genuinely collaborates with Anne once she returns to Amphibia

Gossip Central: An episode on Earth where Anne has to deal with the fact that she was missing for 6 months, with her classmates bringing up wild rumors and getting up in her grill. Anne panics when her parents tell her that they sent a message to Sasha and Marcy's parents about what happend.Sasha's parents coming to ask about what happened and her avoiding them cause where does she fucking start (especially since last she saw Sasha, she was trapped in a flying castle with a murderous newt.). Its near the end of the episode after Anne deals with these shennanigans when Anne realizes that she hasn't been contacted by Marcy's parents. She asks her parents about it, and they tell her they sent a message to them, but they had moved away months ago and they hadn't heard back yet.

Olivia and Yunan: This is where we kind of go off the rails. Olivia and Yunan succeed at rescuing Marcy in Olivia and Yunan. Darcy is just, not a thing. Andrias saved Marcy for his own reasons and the core chastises him for getting so attached to a such a creature. They flee from the castle with a good chunk of turncoated Newt Royal guards Aside: I think Darcy did some cool things, but really wasn't worth effectively benching one of the most interesting characters in the show for the entire season. Of course I am biased cause I really like Marcy and thought Darcy was kind of a huge waste of potential.

Commander Anne: Once Anne is back in Amphibia she finds Wartwood in much the same state as canon, but led by Mrs. Croaker rather than Sasha. Commander Anne is massively changed cause man that was a character assassination and I do not like it. The first mission is actually to break the hold Andrias has over the pass, with the justification that their allies can't get through unless they disable it. The mission is cool with seeing all the Wartwoodians showing off their battle stripes. At the end of the episode the allies turn out to be the toads, reluctantly leading a crowd of recruits/refugees at Sasha's command. This is when our two girls meet again and its a little more awkward than canon, but still cathartic.

From Checkers to Chess(terrible name): Sasha and Anne struggle to find someway to actually, you know, win the war. They run plenty of successful missions but its like fighting the tide. They hear tell of a newt resistance outside the valley with a brilliant strategist. So they seek them out to find Yunan and Olivia leading the newts and of course this mysterious strategist turns out to be Marcy, haggard and tired but happy to see Anne and Sasha. Both of them tackle Marcy in a hug since the last time either of them saw her she was dying on the floor of the throne room. Plot would probably be similar to Newts in tights with them rescuing the works of a labor camp maybe? Aside: Trintonio was a fun callback, but it makes no sense that he becomes supreme leader of all rebel newts. It felt weird and forced. He is downgraded to cameo status in the big fight.

The Last Sleepover: We get a couple more episodes of sheannigans before we get to just before the beginning of the end. We get something like the 3 armies though with its players switched around a bit. And the disharmony between the Newts Frogs and Toads being mirrored in the awkwardness the three girls have around each other. After a day of failing to get everyone to agree to a plan, the girls are exhausted in the war room and before they break apart for the night Anne suggests they have a sleep over for old times sake and just dig into their issues and apologies and forgiveness and its just great and wholesome. We get a mirror kind of moment the next day between Yunan, Grime, and Croaker and or Hop Pop.

Beginning of the End happens, plan is to lure out Andrias on purpose and then sneak in while he's gone, but they get blind sighted by the inhuman core that has remained this thing in the shadows influencing Andrias.

All In and the first half of the Hardest Thing mostly goes the same with Anne taking on Andrias while Sasha and Marcy work together to defeat the core and get the music box.

The second half of the hardest thing involves Marcy approaching Anne and Sasha and explaining that she isn't going to come back. They're shocked obviously and try to reason with her, but Marcy explains that she doesn't have a lot waiting for her back on Earth aside for the two of them and she's not going to be able to stay with them anyways. Olivia and Yunan come up from behind and lay parental hands on Marcy. She wants to stay and help rebuild things . Marcy cockily promises she'll find a way back within 5 years. They Hug and kiss and say their goodbyes to everyone.

Anne and Sasha return home. The time skip is 5 years instead of 10 with Sasha and Anne meeting up. They've stayed close friends but now they'll be going to colleges in different cities for their respective majors. Anne still wants to be a biologist and Sasha still wants to go into psychology. They both wander to their old playground but it's being taken down for construction. Things keep changing after all.

Then a portal opens, and Marcy trips on her way out of it into the two girls. Sasha and Anne both catch her and its a big tearful reunion as other Amphibians come out and we get a big tearful reunion.

Well that turned into a thing. anyways gonna go to sleep now, scheduling this to post in the morning

[chiegaming]

Little Ghost DEMO (itch/Steam, 2021)

For how much the ways and methods we consume and navigate art and information for the past dozen-ish years, there hasn't been much of anything that tries to convey how it feels, the sporadic multitasking and constant taking in of data on top of whatever background noise we put on top of that, most of our senses are taking things in constantly just because we can let them. It's easy to forget what would be an incomprehensible mess of chaotic jargon is routine for a good chunk of us now, show this to a victorian child etc etc, it's practically on the same level of dissonance as an infant's understanding of the world compared to an adult's, only, the latter is still very new when taking all of human history into account.

Little Ghost's first couple hours (and undoubtedly the rest of the game when it comes out) are a very notable and unique exception.

Little Ghost ascribes itself as a metroidvania about platforming as opposed to combat, which is certainly the quickest way of describing it in Gamer terms, but there's quite a bit more going on here.

It's hard to find a definitive catch-all slogan to describe it because it feels like so much. It's like a Knytt Stories-esque exploration through a massive spread-out collage scrapbook with knickknacks and artifacts from seemingly every and any art period. It took me until I looked further into it to realize the more modern stuff were cameos from other indies because they fit in that well. It reminded me a lot of how it felt playing LittleBigPlanet 2 as a kid with little to no context to the references and callbacks it kept making to art movements and aesthetics, accompanied with a licensed soundtrack that spanned so many genres and time periods. All you can really do from that perspective is take in what it evokes in you, in the case of LBP 2, those feelings further solidified my faith in video games as an instrument of communication, of expressing and remixing ideas that have been around for potentially centuries and recontextualize it to make it accessible and open to nerdy PlayStation kids. I'll definitely have to write a proper thing on LBP someday but that's the gist.

It was actually around the time I had started thinking back on it that I unlocked a podcast with Negativland's Mark Hosler on copyright law and his time doing stuff with the band. I kinda had to step back a bit to process it because it was just so surreal.

One of the biggest, most influential groups of my adolescence (who are literally all about recontextualizing media and art to make their own statements and works) were in a game that was both doing the exact same thing alongside its own unique art and asset, but was also overwhelmingly reminding me of when the exact same thing had been done a decade ago with the same floaty platforming.

This might sound dramatic but it really did feel like most of my inspirations were coming together in this game that I just randomly stumbled across, and not in an intellectual property crossover way, like an ideological one. It's obviously not the most unlikely meshing of inspirations and ideas, but it's hard not to feel a serious understanding with what it's going for by fusing all this together into its own piece of work with this synergized of a balance between original and Stolen™ assets.

While I do really want to keep just finding more ways to gush about this game's open-ended nature, the way ideas and stories form naturally in your head while wandering around finding more art to look into, there are a couple of fairly major issues. The controls are real slippery, and not in a way that feels intended by design. Maybe it's just a controller sensitivity issue but Ghost would keep turning to the left the moment I let go of a direction and it looks a little jank, particularly while moving right. It also threw me off a bit how hard and tight-knit the level design is, I've been playing platformers most of my life but even this had some tough bits. It doesn't jive well with the vibes that I presumed were a lot more relaxed than this, on top of deaths (and in-game sound effects in general) being pretty loud and cutting through whatever you put on in the background. It's not great, it feels like a particularly harsh punishment for messing up which I guess I can understand if that's the intent but it's not very nice either way.

Overall though, I can't pretend it hasn't been on my mind since. (been 3 days since I played as of this writing) I only did half of everything there is in the demo but what I got resonates a lot with me still. It felt like getting into a big Wikipedia rabbit hole or aimlessly wandering around a library. For how much there is to take in and how much you know you'll never have the time to get around to, it is very affirming to know a lot of our past as weird art-creating creatures still serves the foundation of so many things in and outside of its own niches. It's easy to forget the value of everything we create when it's so often having to be made under awful constraints. (or worse, algorithms) You forget it's out there and people will see it and it might earnestly change them, for better or worse, in mild or life-changing ways. Ways sometimes strong enough that it becomes material itself, to be used and replicated in more literal ways than copyright wants to allow.

Our ancestors are probably a little weirded out by the extent we actively steal and rip each other off (a lot of artists now are still weird about it despite at least half of our current output being directly transformative works) but it'd be nice to see the day where it's all a legal, global standard, even if that'll make it less cool to do. We're in a weird spot right now law wise that's on the verge of changing drastically again but I want to be optimistic. There's certainly no way we're gonna have a mass exodus on Amen break samples or vaporwave albums with stolen Sailor Moon screencaps for covers.

We've already developed too many subcultures and aesthetics that revolve around this fundamental aspect of creation to have it just disappear, it's as embedded in us as art from any past generation and will only continue to be more so in time. The only real question left is to figure out what you want to do with it.

Steam

itch

[madameminor]

Hi dear, thank you for attempting civility, it IS appreciated.

Yeah, I acknowledge the Wanda Sykes thing is probably a me thing. I just know her too well, and I'm particularly sensitive to tone and sound. And see, DBB is 60, but like all fantastic voice actors, knows how to manipulate his voice to fit the character. Our dear Wanda does not, or at least hasn't in this show. Plus, her sass level isn't even ClOsE to what she can give - like if you gonna use Wanda Sykes, go HARD. You also say POTENTIAL balance for Tech. Maybe it has potential, but for me (and apparently several others) that potential was not realized. SO I guess this is just an "agree to disagree".

All valid. Maybe you saw the things we all missed, but I stand by my point made of all the people I'm connected with saying "OOooOOOOo Hunter and Phee!" the next day, and I did not see a single thing about Tech and Phee until Pabu. So if it was subtle, it was REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEALLY subtle. Any writing class I have been to does the exact opposite of this. The panel where DBB said what you mentioned was enlightening for me in that he pointed out 'there's something there, it's unrequited and weird, but its there' (paraphrasing). That made me go 'huh'. HOWEVER. If you're going to bring that in, then BRING. THAT. IN. Give it more beats, make the beats heavier, GIVE IT THE RESPECT OF PROPER EXPLORATION so that we ALL SEE IT. Trying to stick a relationship that complex into that short of a time span - yeesh! I just didn't see it. ANYway, probably just another agree to disagree.

This is where we majorly differ. I'm not going to go into it because there are plenty of autistic voices speaking to it.

SO what I'm seeing in your last bit there is frustration at people attacking rather than accepting something you are ok with, and you need a place to be seen and heard about that- is that correct? I totally get it. I understand the thought behind 'what is the big deal here?' I think in this space, we aren't talking about self-shipping with tech, or losing tech, or anything. It also isn't the first time people have gone off the rocker about a canon ship. (I myself went bonkers about Padme/Anakin during episodes 1-3 before I saw the clone wars because I had NO IDEA why Padme would- ok anyway, separate post.) As you put it, all art is emotional manipulation on some level - it wants us to feel things. Well, mission success. I felt things. Perhaps not what they intended, but I did. I'm watching someone I care about, because intentional emotional manipulation (art), be paired with a character I feel was not done well and wouldn't treat him well. So, yes, I'm gonna feel upset. Art mimics life.

My dear. We all cried when Tech died. It hurt. Someone we feel closer to than some of our blood relatives left us. Why is watching him being forced towards a relationship we believe is detrimental any different? Also - for a kids show, this delves into some pretty dark and deep topics. And representation is everything. Let people process, dude. Thinking that people need to step away and look at their life is valid, but saying it like that isn't going to get them to do it. You want to help? Listen, acknowledge, love people through it.

I am currently seeing a therapist AND a sex therapist to help me work through LOTS of things - and my feelings around this whole event have provided good insight. One of their suggestions was to get it all out, get it on 'paper', and find people who support you and empathize, who help me feel valid. So. I HAVE done the work. This is the work. THIS IS THE WORK. And I'm sharing it. A good chunk of people have reached out to say 'thank you, I was too scared to say anything, but thank you for representing me". This is where that ish starts. While not intentional, you saying 'step away and look at your life' comes off as dismissive, and that doesn't get anyone to do anything except clam up and suffer. If you really want to help, try a different approach. I can help with that, I know some, lets work together.

WHY I DON'T LIKE TECH x PHEE: An unintentional essay

Alright, yall, I've figured it out on my end. I think. I just need to get some of this out so that I can move past it. I'm not even gonna tag it under tech x phee, cause you know what, I don't want to harsh the mellow over in that space, I'm just voicing what I've discovered.

This is long.

Wanda Sykes: I LOOOOOVE Wanda Sykes, love her - love her so much that I can't see anyone else with her voice. A 60 year old lesbian comedian... and you want to make her a 20 something pirate captain flirting with a male cl- no. No. Capital N. O. Like, I thought she and Rhea Perlman were going to be a fun comedic, older duo playing off of each other. Or that they'd have some sort of sassy relationship. But instead she's a coy, fun adventurer who starts to join in TBB family? Nope. No. Didn't sell it for me. Gimme someone else, might have worked. Try Anika Noni Rose, or if you need that star factor, Halle Barry or Beyonce or, for fucks sake LIZZO (can you imagine her beautiful voice as Phee? OOOO I just shivered. Loved her as the Duchess, but her as Phee! Instantly WAAAAY more excited about that character.) Not Wanda Fucking Sykes (like I said, LOVE her. But no. Choices.)

The Build Up: You guys. We are all literally writers. Where were the beats? Where were the moments? You naturally want there to be a moment the audience goes 'ooooooh yeah ok I see it'. IT HAPPENED WITH HUNTER. The next day I remember quite a few of us going 'OMG YES!!! Yes, totally ship that, saw the chemistry with Phee and Hunter! Into iiiiit.' I resisted that one too, cause of the Wanda Sykes thing, but you know what? IT. WORKED. I went with it cause it worked. Was actually kind of excited. Was looking forward to the fics. Did not happen once with Tech, never saw anyone go 'oh look at that chemistry between pirate and genius'. NOPE BTW SUDDENLY THEY'RE ALL TEASING TECH AND TECH AND PHEE ARE IN A SCENE AND THIS IS ALL ABOUT THESE TWO TAH DAAAAH! No. Nope. Not how it works. Feels like my favorite is getting the shitty end of the romance arc stick. Fuck off, no. We have all written better.

Toxic Matchup: The way Phee (see dude, I almost wrote Wanda. Thats how much I can't not see her in this character) treats Tech. One of my mutuals on here, @shadestepping, put it perfectly - "It’s because instead of understanding who tech is as a person and being respectful of how his mind works, she tries to force him to mask because it’s what she wants/it makes communicating with him easier". The example that keeps popping into my head is when Phee sarcastically says "when two people are talking its called a conversation". My eyebrows shot UP, like, this is one of the FIRST THINGS YOU LEARN about Tech- his face is in his datapad. Treating him like an idiot (which is what it sounds like in Wanda voice) because he is doing what he is always doing is not ok (seriously, WTF, dude?). Another mutual, @dumfanting agreed and shared how that hit them: "As someone whose been forced to mask for her entire life, that is wrong and damaging and perpetuates the idea that we as austitics are only worthy of love if we continue to suppress ourselves." And it really doesn't have to be that way. I can rewrite every scene they are in together, still have her be sassy, have her show interest and respect for who he is, and still move him out of his comfort zone. I will do it, if I need to, just to prove it. If the writers are trying to give her some growth too, cool, then TAKE THE TIME TO DO THAT - instead we only hear how HE's being taken out of his comfort zone. How about HER? You want to be with him? Maybe you have to meet him half way, honey

Ultimately, I could have gotten behind this if it was done another way - but the way they went about it missed so many marks. And for my man, that's unacceptable to me. He deserves the best, not something thrown together.

I have spoken.

(Ok, I think that is out of my system.)