#but Miles’ current writer is really good and I also enjoy reading him when he’s with the Champions

[drenched-in-sunlight]

I gotta say I did not expect I’d love Miles this much, enough to look up shit like Secret War and Civil War II reading order, and worse, subject myself to Bendis’ writing of all things (he’s the reason why I stopped being a comic stan 5 years ago. I were a DC/ Superfam fan. You know the beef was BEEFING). Like, my tolerance of that dude now only stops at him being one of Miles’ creators. So that better writers can do the kid justice years later. That’s it.

Like, why is the “r u and Ganke together haha” a whole shtick that comes up multiple times during his run? It’s so annoying and painful to read. Miles can go around being paired up with different girls but the moment THAT question came up you know he gonna be super defensive and >:( about it which, eh, just does not line up with anything else happening in whatever story is happening at the time. At all.

The only silver of light is that Miles actually never says he doesn’t like boys, he just denies ever dating Ganke. Like, he could just say he doesn’t swing that way and the question would have stopped, but he doesn’t. So I know he be running around kissing the punk-est boy in the whole spider verse, ha!

Idk I’m near the end of Bendis’ run and some of it r good but a lot of them put me thru excruciating pain (cringe) so I have to complain about it.

Did I mention I were a DC stan 6 years ago? I were a DC stan 6 years ago so this isn’t even my first rodeo with white dudes writing weirdest things in American comic, but I just can’t believe I got dragged into this again because Miles blinks his bambi eyes on screen and makes me want to rotate him in my brain so I need to know the lore of him in every medium, apparently.

[kkoct-ik]

Do you have any recs on media depicting DID that you find helpful/relatable?

oh boy do i. although a lot of media i enjoy on the basis of portraying DID isn't intentionally doing so, and it's more a matter of subtext. at the end of the day DID is a disorder of fragmented identity, being unconscious of yourself, & suppressing parts of yourself, and these are experiences that are honestly universal. it's just about the degree.

therefore my list may be a bit crap. but i'll explain my reasonings.

first there needs to be an obligatory plug for my current boys.

i think mikoto kayano from milgram (canon!) really hits the nail on the head, but you really need to do some reading between the lines. this probably isn't where to start if you're new to DID rep. as an interactive project, a large part of his character is how he interacts with the audience's stigmas, and his character does intentionally play into them (both in terms of how the media frames him, and how he as a character acts).

(he's actually also ended up being the only character on this list with canon DID, i think because unfortunately when it comes to portraying DID, the social perception of it and stereotypes drastically impact how writers approach it. the most human characters that portray the struggles of DID to me often don't realise they're doing so (or they're speaking to a more generalised experience, that still resonates with me), and conversely the medias that seek to intentionally write DID often miss the mark because they forget that people with DID are human, and not a hollywood trope.)

thankfully i've written ample essays on him and intend to write more. i think overall, despite being a canon mass murderer (lol), he is framed sympathetically, and it brings me a lot of joy that they go the extra mile to a) portray indistinct alters (in that 'john' does not regard 'mikoto' in the third person, and has no distinct personhood until it is convenient to frame himself in this way) and b) portray complicated internal relationships (in 'john's devotion to mikoto's health and mikoto's aggressive rejection and disownment of everything 'john' stands for as a result of their collective investment in their stability).

sure he killed people, but so did 9 other prisoners, and crucially, he didn't kill people Because of his DID. his DID just impacts how he copes with the repurcussions. so i think they're neat.

in terms of other media i think really gets it close, i'll unironically pitch sunny/omori from omori and mob/shigeo from mob psycho 100.

both medias deal with repressing parts of yourself after traumatising events to the point you consider them a different person, self hatred and resentment through dissociative selves, the feeling of a lack of autonomy, identity discontinuation, the desire to erase the parts of you you hate, dysphoria and shame between different parts' actions, and end with both parts accepting one another in heartwrenching displays of self compassion and trauma processing. they make me so fucking emotional.

for neither stories the DID themes are the focus (omori is primarily an RPG, and mob's dissociation and trauma is mainly explored in only the final arc), and also neither are intentional representation/subtext. but both medias are really good regardless, and the dissociative subtext AND HAPPY ENDINGS they do have is very important to me.

for something a little more silly. despite not being DID, and also not even really dealing with issues of DID, greed/ling from fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood were unironically really helpful for me when i was first diagnosed.

partway through the show ling gets functionally possessed by the incarnation of greed, and has his body taken over. but the show really develops their dynamic by the end -- they develop a trusting relationship, switch between themselves depending on what situation they were most suited for, and eventually reconsile their ideological differences (realising they actually have a lot in common, lol) and develop a respect and ownership over their lives and motivations (one message greed learns early is that despite feeling like his old life was 'not his', it is, and his disowning it through killing bido causes him unfathomable, unexplainable grief).

they were helpful for me with conceptualising positive inner relationships and tackling issues of autonomy and ownership despite feeling like you occupy a body with strangers, and have been dropped into a life that is not your own.

and finally, not a character like the others but a media as a whole, but HOLY SHIT am i nima hit the nail on the head for me with what DID feels like. my friend made me play the demo this week (FREE ON STEAM!) and it made me feel INSANE.

the mechanic of word association felt to me exactly like what it's like to navigate memories in dissociative amnesia - sometimes you feel like you're reaching in the dark, and associations just pop up, and you don't entirely know why. the overarching story of being in an abusive household and having your identity controlled and judged by your mother absolutely ruined me. the cycle of being presumably killed and revived until she deems you 'really nima' meaning you find evidence of your past lives that you don't remember, past yous trying to communicate with you, giving you parts of your puzzle you have to piece together in secret. you have a voice in your head that speaks to you, reinforcing shame and the sense that you've done something wrong, but also verbalising violent impulses towards your mother that you are generally disconnected and blank to.

i think everyone should play this game. i can't speak on if it's an intentional metaphor, but to me it's blatant. it's gorgeous, it makes me unwell, and i can't wait for the full thing to come out.

[mattelektras]

who would you consider to be the best comic writers currently or overall (like top 5-10) and who are your fave writers?

off the top of my head.......................

personal favs: peter milligan because his elektra is just home to me. its cosy. its stupid. its completely meaningless. its perfect. but there's also his xtsatix. his submariner. fear itself!!!

greg rucka. his wonder woman is just fuckin good i got nothing else to say. for him to be the first writer i think of when i think of a character like actual wonder woman is the biggest accolade i can think of

ann nocenti. proof that women writing matt murdock just get it in a way frank miller never will

mark waid. his individual issues can be mid from time to time i think when you read his books as a whole, they come together really well??? his justice league, his flash, his daredevil, his fantastic four, his superman etc etc he writes a really good whole story imo

marv wolfman. teen titans is like a soap opera to me. i love the revolving cast n i love that they all get their time and attention which u really do not see in modern team books

as for current writers:

i think jason aaron and al ewing are solid for long runs. aaron's thor became definitive pretty quickly which is rare.

saladin ahmed gave miles his own clone saga without it just being His Own Clone Saga a la peter's which i wasnt expecting to be as good as it was

ta-nehisi coates' black panther came after a successful movie where a lot of people were wanting to get into the comics. he made it super easy to grasp AND he kept pre existing elements of the universe. u could tell it was done with such a love for the world he was wrtiting

peter j tomasi making superman a dad was such a natural progression that even i, a known kids in comics hater, enjoyed it. aaaand i like his previous ensemble cast green lantern stuff a lot

[beanieable]

Hi! I just had this lil questions I'd like to ask lol hehe if you don't mind:33

1. I totally love your ships! And I already have read your fanfics of them and they're so good! I was wondering if like, you also ship some of the turtles with other characters (not tcest lol)

like would be there an Mona Lisa too like for rottmnt Raph? Do you also ship yuuichi usagi and rottmnt Leo? (Most shipped lol) And apparently there's also an Mikey and miles morales from the spiderverse (which was interesting lol, and I kinda love this crossover ships so much!) and for rottmnt donnie, not really sure yet hehe

2. Would you also make an fanfic about your jonatello human au? (The hockey player x ice skater thing I forgot lol hehe) Just kinda curious about it:33

3. If you have any tips on how to update your fanfics without being on hiatus? (Me currently cause I'm so busy, I haven't done an schedule to post and writer's block sadly)

That's all! Sorry if it's a lot, I always wanted to ask questions to you lol hehe. To be honest, by reading your other TMNT fanfics, kinda inspired me to continue my Mm! Fanfic, which is jonatello. And I have some more draft ideas to be made as an fanfic but not yet for now:33

(last thing, I ABSOLUTELY ADORE YOUR ARTS!! and I would like to try out your other fanfics that is also, another fandom:33)

-thedailyeverlucian

I rarely get asks I love answering them tho! And first off, thank you 😊 feel free to ask me anything you’d like I’m always happy to answer.

1. So I have a few ships. First the most obvious ones, 2012 Jonatello, Ramona and Shinirai. Then for MM I have Leopril (?) and Jonatello with my version of Casey. In 2003 it’s Capril and Karai x Chaplin . In Rise it’s Baronjitsu and Sunpril (?). And if it counts since they’re kinda OCs - Rise Saki and Tang Shen as well as Karai and Cha Lin (Rise Chaplin).

As for Leo and Usagi. I hate it, okay hate is a strong word but I heavily dislike it. I can get behind it and don’t mind it in 2003 but I have to admit the fans ruined the ship for in in Rise. I’ve seen people get mean comments because they shipped Leo with an OC or headcanoned him as something that isn’t gay. It’s started as not being my cup of tea to I really dislike it.

Miles and Mikey are a fun one. Not something I go out to to find but a nice surprise when I stumble upon it.

And for Raph. Well he gets an OC. It’s Tao (fic where they get together). I originally shipped Tao with 2012 Leo but I wanted to take then out of the context of the crossover and then it developed into them getting with Raph. Which in turn resulted in me creating more versions of Tao for different iterations. Each one is also shipped with a different turtle as of right now. I’ll reveal more about them when I get the references done. 🥰

And since you specifically asked about Rise Donnie, I don’t have anything right now but there are ideas for an OC. 🤫

2. Yes! If all goes well I’ll publish it in June this year for pride month. 🏳️‍🌈☺️

3. I try to write one chapter a week when I have a multichapter fic in the works and update weekly. I also like being 2 - 3 chapters ahead of schedule to take the pressures off my shoulders for when I can’t write for whatever reason. Also planning everything or most of it out before hand helps me too.

This is what works for me.

But I can also recommend just rambling your ideas and posting them. Maybe seeing people like the ideas you have gets you motivated.

Regardless, the most important part is that you enjoy what you’re writing and that your having fun writing. 🥰

[flownintothesun]

List 5 of your muse’s favourite sensations.

The feel of violin bow in his hands.

The smell and feel of the kind of rain that comes in a downpour, soaks you to your core.

The first taste of tea in the morning, waking up to the flavors blending.

The warmth of a person, when held close. Feeling safe, helping another feel safe.

The heat of the sun shining on his face, reminding him that he is alive, alive, alive.

Do they have any pet peeves?

I think Francis struggles with a lack of control. Not in a negative, overbearing way. More...if he feels powerless to help? If someone backs him into a corner? He very much cannot sit idly by while things go to hell, he’d very much be the first to step into the flames without being asked to.

Their comfort read? (could be a book, magazine, comics, etc)

Francis can often be found with a book in his hand. I think the comfort is within reading itself. He likes to imagine himself the hero, get lost in the stories he becomes a part of. This gets him into trouble.  In the past, I’ve listed The Essential Rumi, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Les Miserables, Shakespeare’s Collections, Siken’s Crush and War of the Foxes, and The Alchemist as some of his favorites.

If the book they are reading turns out to be shit, do they push through  just for the sake of finishing it, or do they move on and find something  else?

I am loathe to admit that Francis probably reads several books at once. (For the people who manage this : HOW!?) So, if he’s not feeling something particularly, he’ll probably take a break and put it down. He’ll come back to it eventually though, even if it takes him time to finish. He has a life goal of reading all the books that find a home on his shelf, though he’s quick to donate the ones that don’t transport him somewhere else.

Their comfort tv show / film

An entire slow blink here. I don’t think Francis watches much TV, but if he does, they’re romances or old movies. I think that he’d watch something a partner was interested in, but otherwise he’d just be curled up on the couch in a comfy oversized sweater and wool socks with a cup of tea and a good book. You can find him readily at theatre performances of any kind, though!

A song that is currently stuck in their head? (or multiple)

have a spotify playlist.

The next three questions are for you. do you have anything special in common with your character.

We’re both Enneagram 2 / INFJ, so we have rather a lot in common at our core. :)

We both love for miles and miles.

We both enjoy the experience of watching people we care about get excited for things they’re passionate over.

What brings you the most joy about writing this character, right now?

He’s really...a safe space? I’m one of those writers who put a lot of my own emotions into the things I write. Not a self-insert, per se (in most cases so someone doesn’t call me out here :’) ), but it does both take and give a lot when I write, especially the hard-hitting stuff. And that can get to be a lot with some characters, when exploring them introspectively, which is my style of writing. Francis, though, I can always count upon for grounding me back to who I aspire to be: kind, gentle, good-natured, protective, loving. Francis, as far as characters go, is kind of the feeling of coming home? I have that to an extent with a good number of my muses, but Francis just has...those warm blanket vibes of safety and familiarity? I don’t know if that makes any sense. I also enjoy the comfort I can give to others through writing Francis, to share a little of his sunshine with those who might need it.

Who would win in a fight, you or them?

Oh, noooo. Definitely Francis. I wouldn’t have a chance.

Any advice from your muse?

As far as we know, we only get one life. If there are more to follow, or more before, they remain a mystery. Be kind to yourself, and to your heart. Take chances, live passionately, hold on tight. Live a life that makes you proud, that makes you happy. Create a story, go on an adventure, fall in love, fall into joy. That, my loves, is the whole entire point.

[traincat]

Disregard my last ask because the latest issue raised a troubling question that I, as a black man, feel the need to clarify with you, a woman. That whole whole Ned Leeds/Betty Brant business is sexual assault via deception right? Like you know more about Clones and Spider-Man 616 than I but I feel like that’s besides the point because it happened to Betty. She is carrying the child of whom she thought was her dead ex-husband. And Ned clone has to know he is a clone. He has to know. Unlike Ben and Kaine, he has the awareness and information of the Jackal and the awareness of his progenitor’s death.

Or am I reaching too far and reading too far into things?

I'm glad you came back and asked this specific question because it's definitely something I have a lot of thoughts on, and I’m glad you asked my thoughts on it as a woman because I think this is one of those comic book storylines that’s hard for me to divorce that fact from -- the fact that I’m a woman definitely plays into how I view this storyline specifically and how it effects me, in ways I don’t think were necessarily intended by some of the writers involved in its ongoing arc who were not looking at things from the same perspective I’m coming at them from. I definitely don't think you're reaching or reading too far into things -- I think that is what's being presented on the page, albeit likely without authorial intent. Just as like a general disclaimer, I'm not closely following Spencer's run for the sheer reason that I'm not enjoying it very much, although I'm aware of the general directions it's taking through friends and social media. But I actually think this Betty/Ned issue goes back pretty far.

First things first, I think Clone Conspiracy really wreaked havoc on how Spider-Man as a series has always handled clones. Pre-Clone Conspiracy, there was a very clear clone narrative going on: clones are their own person, they are not direct copies or replacements of the original. You see this with Ben Reilly and you see it with the Gwen Stacy clones. Clones are treated as their own individuals, even if they have to struggle to get to that point -- there's even an issue of Spider-Man Unlimited where Ben and Betty go on a date. Betty doesn't know that Ben is Peter's clone -- he's introduced as his cousin -- and they both reflect on how you can't go back to the way things were. So even though Ben has all of Peter's memories regarding his initial romance with Betty, the narrative makes it clear that Ben and Betty cannot recapture that connection or that exact relationship.

Here's where Clone Conspiracy changed everything, in my opinion for the worse: Clone Conspiracy's clone narrative is that these clones are, essentially, the original person. I believe the Marvel wiki still actually lists the end of Clone Conspiracy as 616 Gwen Stacy's issue of death instead of Amazing Spider-Man #121, because Clone Conspiracy treated that Gwen not simply as a clone with all of the same memories, but as essentially Gwen resurrected through a cloning process. The Billy Connors who was cloned is treated as the same Billy Connors who was killed by his father in Shed (Amazing Spider-Man #630-633). And the clone Ned is treated as the same as 616 Ned. This is a mess, to put it simply, because it goes against all the previous Spider-Man cloning narratives and, honestly, most popular sci-fi clone narratives, and it's seriously undermining decades of good Spider-Man storytelling in ways that Slott didn't address and that Spencer seems unwilling to. It probably wouldn't have been a very big deal -- a frustrating one, but not a big one -- if all of the clones had perished at the end of Clone Conspiracy, but they didn't. Billy Connors escaped, and it's immensely frustrating to me to see Peter treating the Connors family reunion as something he can tolerate when Curt Connors ate his kid, and the Ned clone slithered away in the gutters to, I assume, spite me personally.

Which brings us to the current Betty Brant storyline in Amazing Spider-Man, where Betty has showed up heavily pregnant and informed Peter that the child is Ned's.

Yeah, I would say this is in fact the worst possible part. (ASM (2018) #67) Just speaking for myself, I'm generally not anti-pregnancy or baby storylines in comics, but this one is making me very uncomfortable for reasons beside Spencer being apparently unable to find any way to fit Betty into his stories without her showing pregnant.

So I'm actually going to take this back way, way to when Betty and Ned first got married, with some explanation of who Ned Leeds is for the uninformed, because, especially with the MCU's Ned Leeds in the mix, he's not exactly the world's most well known Spider-Man character. (I’m sure @ubernegro, who is much more well read on Miles Morales’ canon than I am, has thoughts on how the MCU’s Ned borrowed heavily off the character of Ganke Lee with a 616 Peter Parker character’s name pasted over him.) Ned was initially introduced as Peter's competition for Betty's affections -- Ned was older than both Peter and Betty, a working reporter, and presented as the more "stable" option compared to Peter, who of course Betty vastly preferred before circumstances tore them apart. Ned and Betty married in Amazing Spider-Man #156 and jetsetted off to Europe for Ned's job. This is where the cracks in the marriage began. Betty later reveals that she felt abandoned by Ned in Europe, to the point where she was able to come back to New York without his immediate notice -- as a woman, it's very easy to read their relationship at this point as being one filled with, if not abuse, then emotional neglect. Betty and Peter have a quick extramarital affair at this point -- Peter has just broken up with Mary Jane and Betty claims she and Ned are separating -- that persists until Ned returns and punches Peter over it.

(ASM #193)

(ASM #229) Betty and Ned reconcile off panel shortly thereafter, but that's pretty far from the end of the story. It's implied that the problems Betty and Ned previously had start to develop again, namely that Betty feels abandoned by Ned, that he is inattentive and, again, as a woman, it's hard not to read it as emotional neglect, if not abuse -- yet. Betty does start another affair at this point, this time with Flash Thompson, and Ned starts acting strangely. It would later be retconned that he was suffering the effects of hypnotism by the Hobgoblin, but like I said, that's a retcon, and what was happening at the time was that Ned was acting erratically in part because he was the villainous Hobgoblin. Ned becomes controlling, threatening, and verbally and physically abusive towards Betty.

(ASM #284)

(ASM #283) "I suppose you think it's all right for a wife to cheat on her husband!" "No -- but I won't let you hurt her, either." Leaving aside that Peter also had an affair with Betty, something he's conveniently forgetting in the above panels, I've always really liked this exchange, because the narrative makes it clear through Peter's response to Ned that, whatever the audience may think of Betty for cheating on Ned, it is reprehensible for Ned to publicly humiliate her and/or physically abuse her as a response.

Then Ned Leeds dies in Spider-Man vs Wolverine and he's revealed as the Hobgoblin posthumously shortly thereafter and that remains canon for years and years until it's later retconned out, as comics are wont to do. But that's not really that important for this conversation -- my point being, at one point in Spider-Man canon, it's made fairly clear to the reader that Ned is an abusive husband. He emotionally neglected and abused Betty several times over and physically hurt her at least once on panel, with the clear intent that the reader should realize that he is physically hurting her. So for me as a reader and as a woman, this has always been a really uncomfortable relationship. I have a problem with later Spider-Man comics claiming that it's "not Ned's fault" that he abused Betty because of the retcon that he was hypnotized, and I have a problem with the MCU making Betty and Ned into a cute summer fling in Spider-Man: Far From Home, because I feel like Ned's clear abuse of Betty either gets excused or entirely glossed over. And I don’t think the initial abuse storyline is bad -- I think there’s some amount of value in portraying Betty as a woman who marries too young, who experiences a terrible marriage, and who then spends years recovering from that marriage, which was the case up until they retconned Ned’s abuse of her as a side effect of him being controlled by the real Hobgoblin. What I’m specifically uncomfortable with is the post-retcon attitude that since Ned didn’t really mean to abuse Betty, it’s perfectly fine to portray the relationship in a positive light when even before Ned’s abuse became physical that wasn’t the case. I think that’s ultimately really irresponsible storytelling.  As a reader, I’m not against soap opera style storylines -- someone getting impregnated by a cone of their ex-husband seems pretty par for the course. But there’s so much additional context here that I still haven’t entirely processed how I feel about this Betty storyline, except that what I feel isn’t positive.

So yes, I would agree with you when I say I think there’s quite a lot of deception involved in Betty’s pregnancy storyline -- the Ned clone didn’t tell her he was a clone, even though he had full knowledge of that fact, just as he had full knowledge of how badly the original Ned treated Betty over the course of their relationship -- that renders their sexual encounter and Betty’s pregnancy uncomfortable for me as a reader, to put it mildly. I don’t think it’s out of character for the Ned clone, given that he acts much like the original Ned: he’s selfish and controlling, withholding information from Betty to suit his own needs. The tragedy of Ned and Betty isn’t that Ned died, as more recent Spider-Man stories like to portray it -- including this one, where Betty doesn’t have the knowledge that a) the Ned she reunited with was a clone and not the original and b) that that clone later died. (ASM #816.) The tragedy is that writers continue to force Betty Brant into Ned Leeds storylines instead of letting her as a character grow past him, and that the only way Spencer thought to include her, one of the longest running Spider-Man characters, back in the story was to have her appear starry-eyed over carrying the child of (the clone of) her abusive ex-husband, and the tragedy is that nobody writing more recent Betty and Ned interactions seems to realize that Ned was a villain not because he was briefly the Hobgoblin but because of how he treated Betty. 

[tillthelandslide]

Made to Love

Author's Note: Hello to all of you beautiful and wonderful people. I hope your day is going well. After having a whole day of writer's block, I listened to Made to Love by John Legend and this wonderful idea came into my head so I wrote it down. I hope you liked this and I'm thinking maybe I could do a part 2 if you guys like it?

This is set in a utopian world, not ours just so you know.

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(if you would like to be added to my tag list, feel free to message me, if you are new to my blog then I post Henry Cavill fanfics and make   Henry Cavill fake Instagram posts, my requests are open so feel free to request anything  and I will try my best to make your vision come to life. Edit: requests are still open but there might be a delay as I am working my way through the current ones and all other stories I am writing)  

Growing up you were taught the laws of the world you lived in. You were taught that every person around you had different morals and different beliefs. But one thing everyone agreed on was the existence of soul mates, two people linked by destiny, made for each other, two people bound my fate to be together until death do they part. You were taught that you could tell who your soulmate is purely but the feeling you got. You were told that your soul mates aura would match yours and the closer you were to each other the deeper you would feel, the more intense your feelings would be, as if amplified by the other person. You were also taught that as you grew up you would get visions of your soul mate. You wouldn't see what they looked like or where they lived but would see visions of what they were like, what they did in their spare time. You knew yours was an actor (although how famous you didn't know), you knew he enjoyed video games just as much as you did, he grew up reading fantasy books just like you, you could feel that family was important to him, he had brothers but you weren't sure how many. You could also feel each other's emotions when you were apart, a constant reminder from destiny that you had to find each other to live in peace, to live in paradise with each other. The piece of information that made it difficult in finding him was that he was an actor, he was always travelling and was always filming. This made finding him difficult because you were a singer, a famous one at that, you were constantly on the road, never in the same place for more than a couple of days at a time.

But you were currently on a break from your life on the road, you had told your fans that you were going to take a hiatus and lots of them encouraged you to find your soul mate, because they wanted you to be happy.

One of the fundamental laws of soul mates was the push and pull dynamic, the more someone would push their soulmate away. the more they would find themselves needing that person. There were people who ignored these laws, and lived their lives running from destiny. Soulmates who were yet to find each other were allowed to carry out temporary relationships with non-soul mate individuals, named "betas" but were forbidden to marry them or reproduce with them. Again there were those who hated these laws, those who married non-soulmates to spite destiny.

As for you, you had a few relationships with betas, but they never satisfied that of your deepest desire. It was fun getting to know betas and you found yourself loving them, but not in the way that soulmates would love each other. Eventually the relationship between betas would come to an end when the other found their soulmate. But you were yet to find yours so all of your beta relationships had ended because they had been successful in carrying out the law.

So here you were, alone in your house in London, what was the point of a break if I can't even find my soulmate? you thought. You were beginning to lose hope, maybe you had done something to spite destiny and this was its way of punishing you.

You had begun to feel ill, your mother bringing you some soup in hopes you would feel better. Your mother was one of few individuals, who destiny had granted multiple soul mates, this only happened to people whose original soul mate had passed, destiny would grant them another if they had successfully carried out the law of soul mates in all its glory. And your mother had, she had found her soulmate when she was 21 and had gotten married soon after, having 4 beautiful children (you included) before sadly her soul mate (your father) and passed. Destiny had decided that she carried out the law so well that she deserved another one.

To say it irked you was an understatement, you were happy for her, sure, but there she was having had 2 soul mates and you were yet to find yours.

"He's on he's way dear" she said, as she was leaving your home.

"I don't know ma" you frowned, rubbing your forehead I wish this throbbing in my head would stop for christ sake you thought.

"He is, my love. Now rest and get better, I have to meet Derek for lunch" she said referring to your step farther.

"Have a lovely day ma" you said, making her smile and leave you.

Your head throbbed again, making you have to close your eyes as you felt like you were going to faint.

"What in the world?" you said, your hand coming up to rest against the wall to stop yourself from falling.

Sit down love you heard his voice in your head say. Oh yeah, another side effect of not finding your soulmate was having this kind of connection with them, they could communicate with you, through your mind. It sounds ridiculous but it's true, it takes practice to successfully send a message to your soul mate, apparently it becomes painstakingly easy when you've actually met them.

"You're not helping me" you chuckled out, crashing on your sofa.

You need to rest, your making me feel nauseous his voice said again

"Oh thanks love. Sorry to be such a pain" you said, sarcastically.

Sorry love you heard him chuckle

"It would be a lot easier if you were here dickhead" you laughed, joking with him, your eyes still shut. An image flashed in your mind... A lot of green, that's all you could see for miles.

"What are you doing?" you laughed, talking about the vision you got.

Walking Kal

"all I can see is green, like for miles?" you asked, and you heard him chuckle. He didn't say anything else and you sighed, resting your head against your sofa.

Wish I could help you. He sounded sad and he felt sad too, you could physically feel him frowning, but you knew it felt worse for him, that's how it worked. You were feeling dizzy, which meant he was feeling it a little too.

"Would be so much easier if I knew where you were." you said, your cat jumping up to sit on you.

Y'know how it works love, can't tell you that

He was right, another stupid rule was that if one soulmate attempted to send a message containing information about where they were or where they lived, the information would be corrupted, all the other would hear is muffled speech.

"I'll leave you to it then my love" you said quietly.

Okay love, rest well. Get someone to come round and look after you

"I'll try." you said. You managed to open your eyes, the world spinning a lot less now, the same throbbing in your head like someone was constantly playing a drum in there. You picked up your phone texting your best friend.

"Hey. Not well. Please come save me 😂" you typed, short sentences will have to do you thought.

"coming" was all you received back. Your friend arrived 10 minutes later, as she lived close by. She let herself in calling your name, to which you just groaned.

"Oh c'mon you big baby, it can't be that bad" she said upon seeing you.

"That's easy for you to say. You don't have what feels like someone kicking your head in every 2 seconds" you said, groaning when she tried pulling you up from your seat.

"We're going for a walk, the fresh air will do you good." she said, forcing your shoes on your feet.

"Really? I'm not well" you pouted.

"C'mon you need air" she said, pulling you up and to the door.

You began walking, every few steps you had to stop and shut your eyes, your vision became blurry and your head pounded and pounded with every step. You could see green again, a park?

"Hey it's okay, I've got you I'm here, Cmon sit down" she said, leading you to a bench.

Another vision: a bench?

Another one: two women?

Another one: a dog jumping excitedly

What was that?: An American Akita?

"This isn't working" you groaned loudly, your vision coming back to you, you looked around you, you were in a park, surrounded by green.

"Oh my god" you said, your head pounding, like a drum getting louder. You stood suddenly, your feet hurt but they carried you forward, you didn’t want to be walking but your body had other plans, your legs hurt... Everything hurt.

What's happening? You heard him say

You were falling, falling, your head throbbing more than ever, just as you were about to hit the ground, you felt something soft... Hands? You opened your eyes briefly, two blue eyes, the left had a bit of brown in it

 And then? Nothing.

The next thing you know, you were lying on the pavement, your head no longer hurt... That's good you thought. You opened your eyes, seeing the same blue eyes, your heart felt like it exploded, your back shooting up from the ground on its own accord, turning to look at the man.

"Oh my god" you cried, he was here, you found him.

"Told you to rest, love" he said, somehow making a joke out of it, but he had tears in his eyes too. You wrapped your arms around him, him pulling you to his chest.

"It's okay I've got you love, I've got you" he said, hugging you like he was never going to let go.

"You found me" you said, pulling back to look into his eyes.

"I found you alright" he said, nodding as tears fell from his eyes.

"Henry" you said, suddenly knowing his name as if you'd always known it, you knew everything there was to know about him, and he you.

"Y/N" he uttered, his hand grasping your face tightly in his hand, bringing it closer to his so he could finally kiss you. His lips were perfect against yours, it was everything everyone told you it would be, nothing but heightened emotions, destiny and fate.

"I love you so much" he uttered against your lips.

"I love you too" you replied, pulling back from the kiss.

"How's the head?" he said, his fingers rubbing at your temple.

[carriagelamp]

April l was apparently the month for me to revisit some children’s authors who are steeped in controversy at the moment. So here’s my hot (well, lukewarm) takes on issues that absolutely do not need a single other person talking about them. Also some actual good books that I read this month!

Badger in the Basement

The Animal Ark books are a childhood classic — though I recently found out that apparently there’s a difference between American and British publications, and the American versions didn’t include a lot of actual COOL animals which is… bizarre. As a Canadian stuck in the middle of this, this nonsense drives me nuts. This one was about the main character, the daughter of pair of vets, trying to protect a local badger sett from men wanting to participate in badger digging and baiting. These books are always feel-good, and it was a nice single-day-read while I waited for a library book to come in.

Chi’s Sweet Home

The cutest manga series about the misadventures of a little kitten, Chi, who has been adopted by a loving family. I’ve never bothered to read them in order, but apparently this time I stumbled across the last in the series -- whoops! Still, stood on it’s own pretty easily, and it was a fun read! Things get tense when the family realize that they may have found Chi’s original home… and may have to give up Chi forever.

Earth Before Us: Dinosaur Empire!

This was an odd graphic novel, I feel like I’m not sure who the target audience was exactly. It was a nonfiction comic done in a Magic School Bus style, with the purpose of teaching current, up-to-date facts about the animals that lived in the Mesozoic Era. If you’re into dinosaurs, you’ll probably enjoy this! The art is absolutely adorable, I love the dinosaur illustrations, and I learnt some really neat facts. That being said, the pages are really dense, and there’s a lot of info crammed in… some of it will probably go way over a child’s head without specific additional teaching or a very strong personal interest. But that being said, a dinosaur obsessed kid is still probably going to really dig this… as would a dinosaur obsessed adult. It wasn’t my cup of tea exactly but I’m sure it is someone’s.

assorted Dr Seuss Books

I love these types of controversies because it means getting to listen to every moron who has never had an opinion on Dr Seuss ever start generating a mile of them out of the aether. So many people are so mad about the six books that are getting retired and I bet most of them haven’t even read them. These are not the friggin Cat In The Hat or The Lorax or even the likes of Yertle The Turtle. I was raised by a grade one teacher, was a voracious reader who loved Dr Seuss, and wrote my university thesis on children’s literature, and I still only knew two of the six books on that list. So by all means, if you want to write an essay explaining why those specific books are worth clinging to, feel free, but if you haven’t even heard of them maybe it’s not a big deal. *grumble*

Anyway, my grousing aside, it gave me the urge to reread a bunch of Seuss books, including the two retiring books I personally knew: McElligot’s Pool and To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street. I do still enjoy both, especially McElligot’s Pool which always sparked my imagination, but it’s obvious why they’re being retired and I personally think it’s the right choice. There’s so much good kidlit out there, we can survive without these.

Goodbye, My Rose Garden

A f/f romance manga, fairly standard fair though cute if you’re looking for some historical angst, pretty dresses, and mutual pining. A young Japanese woman moves to England in the hopes of meeting a writer (Mr Frank) who she has long admired. Along the way she is employed by an enigmatic woman with plenty of money, rumours, and melancholy following her. I’ll be honest, uncut romance isn’t really my genre, but I’ll probably still try to the second book to see if the story picks up.

From The Holocaust to Hogan’s Heroes: The Autobiography of Robert Clary

It’s no secret that I’ve been on a Hogan’s Heroes kick. This is the autobiography of Roberty Clary, who plays my favourite character in the show, Louis Lebeau. And holy shit what a life this man has had. He was a Jew growing up in France before the start of the war, and who was one of many children taken away from his family and sent off to the concentration camps in Germany. This was an amazing, intense, inspiring, and heartbreaking read… it has Clary’s voice all over it, and it tells everything from the charming childhood he had, to the horrors of the concentration camps, the brutality of survival, and then about his exciting journey into the entertainment industry afterwards. It’s an experience, would recommend if you’re a fan of the show.

The Ickabog

The second controversial author I read this month. Originally I was going to give Rowling’s new book a miss, given everything that’s been going on over the past few years, but in the end my curiosity got the better of me. Politics aside, it was a fun read! Not groundbreaking, but enjoyable enough and written in an interesting style. It didn’t read the same as a lot of modern kidlit, it felt more like a cross between a classic fairytale and a Dahl book. Perhaps a bit like Despereaux. It tells the tale of how an idyllic country gradually falls into ruin through the ignorance, inaction, and greed, and how a supposedly fictional monster hides the very real, human monsters at the heart of the country. It was cute and pleasant and I’m glad I decided to get it from the library, though for anyone who is choosing not to engage for political reasons: you aren’t missing anything major.

Franklin In The Dark

A Canadian classic. I don’t think there’s a single person my age who hasn’t read or been read a pile of these books, and the nostalgia is so comforting. I found this on Youtube and listened to someone read it to me, and honestly 10/10 would recommend for a calm evening.

The big reason I decided to seek this one out though, was because I finally got to the M*A*S*H episode that inspired this entire series! In the episode C*A*V*E, in which Hawkeye is freaking out over his claustrophia while the camp is forced to take shelter in a nearby cave during some intense shelling, he mentions that if he had been born a turtle he would have been afraid of his own shell, and that the other turtles would make fun of him cause he’d be forced to walk around in his underwear. And so this first story about a young turtle who’s afraid to sleep in his own shell and drags it around behind him. So if you were ever curious, Franklin the Turtle is in fact named after Dr Benjamin Franklin Pierce. (this is also why the French version is named Benjamin!)

Wolves of the Beyond: Lone Wolf

I loved the Guardians of Ga’Hoole books as a kid but I never read the Wolves of the Beyond series. This first book was an interesting read, Lasky does a great job creating worlds and societies for the animals that inhabit them. Lone Wolf is about a deformed wolf cub who was abandoned in the wilderness to die. And he would have, if a desperate mother bear, who had recently had her only cub killed, hadn’t stumbled across him and saved him, vowing to raise him as her own...

Petals

A “silent” graphic novel. It has beautiful artwork and is told entirely through pictures, no text at all. It’s loves and heart-wrenching, though it left me feeling somewhat unsatisfied… I felt like there should have been more. Still, a neat story.

The Southern Book Club‘s Guide To Slaying Vampires

What a banger of a novel!! I can’t recommend this one enough. It’s about a group of suburban mothers in the ‘80s who form a book club out of a shared need for community and a love of grisly true crime novels. But when a strange drifter appears in town and starts setting down roots… and when children begin disappearing… these women need to band together to confront the horrors that have invaded their neighbourhood, and face down not only a terrifying monster among them but the patriarchal system that allows it to flourish. To quote the preface:

“Because vampires are the original serial killers, stripped of everything that makes us human — they have no friends, no family, no roots, no children. All they have is hunger. They eat and eat but they’re never full. With this book, I wanted to pit a man freed from all responsibilities but his appetites against women whose lives are shaped by their endless responsibilities. I wanted to pit Dracula against my mom.    As you’ll see, it’s not a fair fight.“

The Weirn Books: Be Wary of the Silent Woods

I love Chmakova’s graphic novels, though I’ve only ever read her slice-of-life middle grade series before. This one is pure fantasy and very fun. It’s about two cousin “weirns” — witches with demon familiars — who attend the local night school. Things get strange though when an ominous figure appears outside the old, abandoned school house deep in the Silent Woods, and begins tempting children down its path…

I’m very much looking forward to word of a second book and was honestly kind of surprised that I haven’t heard more about this book given how popular her other series is. This has all the same charm and quirks but for those of us who prefer stories based in fantasy rather than reality.

And A Bonus...

For some masochistic reason I got a Garfield book out of the library. Jeez, if I didn’t love these as a kid, I found them absolutely laugh out loud hilarious, and now I just don’t see it anymore. But here I will share the one strip in the book that actually made me laugh

[king-gob]

What’s a good comic that doesn’t involve superheroes?

oh buddy. pal. friendo. I’ll limit myself to books currently running to keep this only a single mile long. Note that depending on how loose your definition of “superhero” is will affect this. I’ve seen people call John McClane a superhero so yeah.

Something is Killing the Children

by James Tynion IV and Werther Dell'Edera (Boom! Studios)

Kids have been going missing in a sleepy woodland town. A strange woman named Erica arrives, determined to do something about it. She partners with a young boy who claims to have seen the thing stalking the town, and things quickly spiral further out of control. Well-written characters and fantastic art. Easily my favorite book running right now.

The Department of Truth

by James Tynion IV and Martin Simmonds (Image)

Cole Turner is an FBI agent who specializes in conspiracy theories and the deleterious effect it has on the minds of people obsessed with them. Unfortunately for him, he is about to discover that there is more going on under the surface than he realized and belief is far more powerful than he could ever imagine. Tynion is quickly becoming one of my favorite writers, and Simmonds’s art is even better here than it was in Dying Is Easy (which I also recommend). This series has one of the best first issues I’ve ever read, and I was hooked instantly. A definite recommend if you are as interested in conspiracy theories as I am.

Fire Power

by Robert Kirkman and Chris Samnee (Image)

Owen Johnson is a regular dad in the suburbs. He has a great wife, two kids and a job working at his father-in-law’s antique shop. What sets him apart is that he had spent years of his early life in a Shaolin temple, mastering martial arts, including the legendary Fire Power, the ability to generate fire from his body. He has long since turned his back on his order and the responsibilities they demand, but his former life is not ready to let him go. Written by Robert Kirkman, creator of The Walking Dead and with art by the great Chris Samnee, Fire Power is a great martial arts comic, recommended for fans of Street Fighter or anyone who likes seeing monks and ninjas beat each other up. I definitely recommend starting from the “Volume 0″ prequel trade. It’s not ESSENTIAL but I believe the story flows much better with it that way.

Fear Case

by Matt Kindt and Tyler Jenkins (Dark Horse)

Two Secret Service agents are investigating the Fear Case, the Service’s oldest open case. All agents are put on the case, but are only given a single year to investigate, as the case has the tendency to ruin the lives of those who get too close. Winters and Mitchum are in the last three weeks before they have to turn the case over, but they are closer than anyone has gotten in the history of the Service to getting their hands on the legendary box. But the closer they get, the more bodies they seem to find, and the duo’s mental and emotional limits are stretched to their breaking point. Everything Matt Kindt writes is worth reading, and this series is no different. Recommended for fans of the X-Files and other supernatural mysteries.

I Breathed a Body

by Zac Thompson and Andy MacDonald (Aftershock)

Telling too much about this comic would honestly be spoiling it. In the not-too-distant future, the biggest social media influencer in the world posts something horrific and the macabre lengths his PR team go to to handle it. The art is extremely good at showing the body horror involved and while I do recommend the comic, be warned, it is *extremely* fucked up. Excellent horror comic.

Once and Future

by Kieron Gillen and Dan Mora (Boom! Studios)

Terrorists resurrect King Arthur in a bid for power, but it turns out that the english legend is not what they thought or bargained for. Now, a retired monster hunter and her archeologist grandson must turn back the tide of returning myths before the world is irreversibly plunged into darkness. But their family history has plenty of shadows of their own. Really great book from two of my favorite creators, and really love the way they play with the metatextual nature of the myths and legends involved. Very fun.

Seven Secrets

by Tom Taylor and Daniele Di Nicuolo (Boom! Studios)

A clandestine order protects seven briefcases which hold seven secrets. However, a betrayal from within threatens to reveal those secrets, and Caspar, the son of two former protectors of the Seven Secrets, must discover the truth before all is lost. Tom Taylor is a fantastic writer that makes everything he writes infectiously fun, and with Di Nicuolo’s great eye for action scenes, this is an adventure book worth checking out.

Stillwater

by Chip Zdarsky and Ramón K. Pérez (Image)

A promise of a substantial inheritance brings Daniel West and his friend to the quiet town of Stillwater. However, they quickly realize the town’s sinister secret: in Stillwater, nobody dies. And as the marketing for the book says, that’s not just a promise, it’s a threat. Good writing and an intriguing mystery. Highly recommended.

That Texas Blood

by Chris Condon and Jacob Phillips (Image)

The murder of his brother brings an aspiring writer back to the Texas town of his youth, and puts him on a violent road to his own undoing. Fantastic writing. If you’re like me and love dark neo-western and crime stories, then I honestly can’t recommend this book enough. Look elsewhere if you want happy endings.

We Only Find Them When They’re Dead

by Al Ewing and Simone Di Meo (Boom! Studios)

Captain Malik and his crew pilot an autopsy ship, so named because they harvest meat, metal and other materials from the fresh corpses of dead gods that appear on the edge of space. Malik wants to see a living god, and is willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen. But the ghosts of his past haunt him, and until he confronts them, making history won’t be easy. Fantastic cosmic sci-fi story with gorgeous art by Di Meo. Recommended for people who love stories set in space, and also for people who love long panels.

American Ronin

by Peter Milligan and ACO (AWA Upshot)

In a future where supercorporations rule everyone’s lives (I know that may be hard to visualize but try to imagine it), war is fought not by nations, but by enhanced operatives carrying out all manner of assassinations and espionage. But when one unnamed operative breaks his programming and goes on the hunt, the entire sick system is about to be violently brought down. Really interesting protagonist who has a great ability. Hunt down his targets by ingesting their DNA to learn how they think, and then using that empathic ability to get inside their heads. The cat and mouse games are really fun, and I highly recommend for anyone who likes superspy stories or seeing complex plans pay off.

Casual Fling

by Jason Starr and Dalibor Talajić (AWA Upshot)

Jennifer Ryan is a successful lawyer with a loving family and a great career, but a bad decision (that is, cheating on her stay-at-home husband) made on a whim has disastrous consequences. Saying much more would be spoiling, but there is definitely something sinister going on beneath the surface. Made in the style of erotic thrillers like Fatal Attraction and Eyes Wide Shut, this book features very well-written, realistic characters and importantly (to me anyway) refuses to condemn the protagonist while not shying away from the destructive results of her mistakes. I picked this book up because I liked Jason Starr’s previous book, Red Border, and enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would. Recommended.

Bitter Root

by David F. Walker, Chuck Brown and Sanford Greene (Image)

In 1920s Harlem, a long-standing family of monster hunters is splintering. Tragedy and conflicting worldviews are tearing them apart, and they’re going to need to stand together if they want to save New York City from the darkness that’s coming. Hate is a powerful thing, but also a cancer, and it’s about to metastasize. Really great worldbuilding and immediately likeable characters. Despite having a lot of themes about hate and prejudice (and utilizing them particularly well, in my opinion), the book is an exceptional action story. David F. Walker is a favorite writer of mine (See: Shaft, Nighthawk, Luke Cage) and Chuck Brown wrote the incredibly fun On the Stump (also highly recommended). The issues also feature essays from black scholars who expand on some of the historical events and themes that are present in the book, if you’re into that sort of thing (which I am). I’m not sure if those are in the trades, though.

Honorable Mentions/Books that I am too tired to give the full treatment to right now: Babyteeth (Aftershock) Chained to the Grave (IDW) Dead Dog’s Bite (Dark Horse) Decorum (Image) Deep Beyond (Image) Dryad (Oni Press) Family Tree (Image) The Goon (Albatross Funnybooks) Killadelphia (Image) Nocterra (Image) Neil Gaiman’s Norse Mythology (Dark Horse) Orcs (Boom! Studios) Orphan and the Five Beasts (Dark Horse) Outcast (Image) Proctor Valley Road (Boom! Studios) Redneck (Image) Sea of Sorrows (IDW) Second Coming (AHOY Comics) Silver Coin (Image) Tartarus (Image) Two Moons (Image) Undiscovered Country (Image) Undone by Blood (Aftershock) Vampire: The Masquerade (Vault Comics) Wynd (Boom! Studios) Year Zero (AWA Upshot) Honorable Mentions/Books that have ended but you should check out: A Walk Through Hell (Aftershock) American Born Chinese (First Second) American Vampire (DC Comics) Animosity (Aftershock) Archangel 8 (AWA Upshot) Bad Reception (Aftershock) Basketful of Heads (DC Comics) Black Science (Image) Blacksad (Dark Horse) Chew (Image) Dark Ark (Aftershock) Dark Red (Aftershock) Daytripper (DC Comics) Dead Day (Aftershock) Devil’s Highway (AWA Upshot) The Dollhouse Family (DC Comics) East of West (Image) Folklords (Boom! Studios) Gideon Falls (Image) God Country (Image) Grendel, KY (AWA Upshot) Hotell (AWA Upshot) Infidel (Image) Knights Temporal (Aftershock) Locke and Key (IDW) The Low, Low Woods (DC Comics) The Man Who Fucked Up Time (Aftershock) Midnight Nation (Image) Nailbiter (Image) Orc Stain (Image) Pestilence (Aftershock) Plunge (DC Comics) Preacher (DC Comics) Pride of Baghdad (DC Comics) Red Border (AWA Upshot) The Red Mother (Boom! Studios) The Replacer (Aftershock) Scalped (DC Comics) Scott Pilgrim (Oni Press) Strange Skies Over East Berlin (Boom! Studios) Tokyo Ghost (Image) Transmetropolitan (DC Comics) Unholy Grail (Aftershock) The Wicked + The Divine (Image) Y: The Last Man (DC Comics)

[dnvrsmedia]

You Feel Safe?

Carol Danvers x reader

summary: You and Carol are sent on a mission together for the first time.

warnings: none! good ole fluff! mutual pinning & my fav troupe the “only one bed” :)

AN: IM BACK! I am SO sorry i’ve been gone for like 2 weeks, but I had the WORST writers block omg! Hopefully this gets me back in the time of everything & I hope y’all enjoy! as always requests are open!

part 2

You were called to be on a mission yesterday. If it were any other day you wouldn’t have minded so much, but it was supposed to be your first weekend off in almost a month. You could almost taste the short lived freedom as you stepped into your room that friday evening, but of course, the world had other plans for you. The literal moment you set your bags down,friday informs you that steve needs you in the debrief room.

Obviously pissed off that you were robbed of your planned relaxing weekend, you trot to the debrief room with heavy steps and a frown. You’re known as the cheerful one around the compound. You’re always worried about others safety and health. So, when you passed Nat on the way to meet Steve without saying hello, she immediately knew something was off. Not wanting to interrupt you, she shrugs it off and makes sure to make a mental note to ask you what’s wrong later on.

You finally reach the debrief room and see a familiar tall blonde talking to Steve. You’ve only met Carol about two times, but you wouldn’t really call that a formal meeting. The two of you were too busy trying to save the world from thanos to really indulge in a conversation. But that doesn’t matter right now.

“Stevie, you know I love you, but why the ever loving fuck are you calling me on my weekend off. You know I haven’t gotten one in a while!” You exclaim as you go in to hug him. Steve has also been away on a mission for a while, so you haven’t seen your older brother figure in a while.

He gives out a hardy chuckle and gives you a tight squeeze before letting go. “I know y/n and I feel horrible doing so, but you’re the only gal for the job. Plus, you haven’t properly met Captain Danvers over here yet!” He points to Carol as she sticks out her hand to shake.

“Please, call me Carol.” She winks. You shake her hand as your face burns bright red. God y/n keep it together! You can’t help but to stare at her beautiful being. Everything about her is absolutely gorgeous and you can’t seem to get enough. Your eyes trail down to her strong biceps. All all you can think about is how much you wouldn’t mind if she put you in a choke hold i mean-

Steve clears his throat and asks you if you heard a word he just said. Now you start to blush profusely. She had to notice you staring, because she’s sporting a wicked smirk on her face.

“S-sorry I got a little uh...distracted.” You clear your throat. You notice Steve rolling his eyes and continues to debrief the mission. The both of you were to go undercover as girlfriends to a ball. This wasn’t any ordinary ball though. At the ball, there is an underground auction on alien tech. The reason you were picked and not Nat is because you can turn invisible. Once invisible, you were to sneak into the auction and take back that very valuable piece of tech. Carol is tagging along because of her extensive knowledge on alien tech. This mission was clearly meant for the two of you.

Soon after, you were dismissed to your quarters and packing for the three day long mission in Tuscany, Italy. Luckily for you since you don’t own many dresses, Nat popped by to let you borrow a few. She originally came by to see why you were so upset, but as soon as she saw you packing your bags she already knew.

“So, are you excited to play girlfriend with miss twinkle hands? Last time you two met you could barely take your eyes off oh her.” She slyly smirks as she folds your shirt. You immediately scoff as your face starts to heat up.

“I was just making sure she didn’t die! I do that every time with everyone when we’re saving the world!” You squeak. Nat could definitely tell that you were lying. I mean come on, she’s a highly skilled spy. She just mutters a ‘yeah sure’ and rolls her eyes. You shoo her away so you could ‘get your beauty sleep’ before you leave for the mission. Moments after you finally get settled in bed, you hear a knock at your door. Too tired to get up, you ask friday to let whoever is at the door in. Soon later, you’re eye to eye with Carol herself.

“Oh were you about to sleep? I’m sorry I can go if you want.” She shyly smiles and starts to walk away. You’ve never seen Carol like this before, and you wish you could see more of her.

“No,” you sit up and pat the space next to you on the bed. “It’s okay I promise. Come sit.” You gently smile. Soon after your smile is taken over by a big yawn. You hear Carol chuckle and sit next to you.

“You sure you aren’t gonna fall alseep on me, y/n?” She teased.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” You lazily smiled. “Now, why did you want to see me?” you questioned.

“I just uh wanted to get to know you better. I mean if you’re gonna be my girlfriend, then I should actually know you, right?” she answered. You blushed majorly at her calling you her girlfriend. Yes, you know it’s only for the mission, but you can’t help but feel giddy.

“Well, what do you want to know? I’m an open book.” you replied while looking into her eyes. You could get lost in her perfect chestnut eyes. You can tell that she is a strong and loving person, but she also has been hurt. You wish you could take her pain away, but sadly that’s not how it always works.

From then on, the two of you spent your last hours before the flight to Tuscany talking about anything and everything. You told her things you don’t even think you’ve told Nat or Steve yet. Just something about Carol makes you want to pour your deepest darkest feelings and thoughts out. She’s just so welcoming and warm. You do end up falling asleep due to the day of hard work you endured. Carol soon notices and covers you in your blanket before leaving. The two of you have about four hours before the flight and she still hadn’t packed. She leaves your room with the widest smile on her face.

You wake up two hours later to your alarm. You always set your alarms according to, so you don’t get behind schedule. Before missions, you like to get a light workout and combat in. You groggily get up from your bed and change into your workout clothes.

You get down to the gym and immediately notice Carol at the punching bag. She was wearing a black sports bra with matching athletic leggings and hair was in a pony tail. You are completely in awe. Of course you’ve seen her fight before, but that was in a life or death matter. You didn’t have time to gawk at the way her back muscles contracted every time she moves. Or hear the little grunts she huffs out as her fist collides with the punching bag.

She must’ve felt someone staring at her, because she turns around in the middle of punching the bag and smirks. Your face seems to permanently be red because of her, but you couldn’t really complain could you?

You shake your head and get straight into your workout routine. You turn on your favorite playlist and get straight to work. You get in light stretching before you do your 2 miles on the treadmill. You hit the weights right after. Throughout your whole workout, the both of you share stole glances. You catch her looking at your ass through the mirror as you back squat and chuckle. You’re just about to bench press as she walks up to your station.

“Here, lemme spot you. I don’t need the bar falling on your pretty face.” She smirks and steps behind the you.

“How nice of you, Captain. You know, I’m a lot stronger than I look. Trust me, I’m a big girl.” Now it’s your time to watch as her face gets red.

“Oh trust me I know. You can never be too cautious.” She winks and you playfully roll your eyes.

About an hour after, you finally finish your work out. You thank Carol once again and go on your way to your room to take a quick shower before meeting her at the quinjet. You say bye to your fellow avengers (well who’s not on a mission), and go on your marry way to Tuscany. The both of you arrive in Tuscany at 8pm. You were visibly tired, so you couldn’t wait to eat something and curl up in your own bed.

Carol helps you with you bag, although you said you can cary it, and takes the both of you to the room. The view from the room is astounding. Your eyes pan all over the room, then you see it. To your surprise, there is only one bed and a very uncomfortable looking couch. You can tell Carol notices as well as she starts to put her things by the couch.

“You can take the bed, trust me I don’t mind.” She smiles her adorable smile.

“Are you kidding me? We’re both adults here, Captain. We can share the bed and I’m not letting you say no! That couch looks so uncomfortable!” You rant as you move your things over to the bed. “Now, what do you want for dinner?” You turn your head to see he smiling at you.

The pair of you decided on some authentic Italian food for take out. So here you are, currently eating fancy Italian food with a beautiful girl in romantic Italy. Seriously what could get better than this. You guys talk for hours until it’s time to go to bed.

You’re the first one to freshen up in the bathroom before bed. You step out in only your towel, and Carols face heats up so quick.

“I-I’ll just go uh go in there uh I uh- yeah.” She mutters out as she grabs her things and rushes herself into the bathroom. You laugh to yourself then get dressed. You snuggle up in the bed with one of your books and start reading. You finish a chapter when you hear Carol get out the bathroom. You’ve never seen her look so casual before. You can’t help but smile at her Captain america pj pants.

“Steve gave em to me as a gag gift for my birthday last year.” she chuckled and gets into bed with you.

You put your book down and turn on the TV to entertain the two of you. The TV was nearly there for background noise, since you weren’t paying attention at all. You say there thinking about how happy you’ve felt around Carol for the past two days, and hoped she felt the same. A loud lawn broke your trace. You realized it’s getting late, so you turned off the TV and got comfy in the bed.

“Sleep well, Y/n.” You hear Carol say as you’re about to drift into sleep.

“Goodnight, Carol.” You day softly as you nod off into the dream state.

beep! beep! beep!

Your overly loud, yet useful, alarm wakes you up. You go to reach to turn it off but you can’t reach it. You look down and see a sleeping Carol lying on top of you. Her arm is wrapped around your waist as hair is strewn across her face. You smile down at her and admire how soft she looks. You take your free hand and move her fly aways from her face. She stirs awake and looks into your eyes. She throws herself back and starts to apologize profusely.

“Hey, hey, look it’s okay I uh actually enjoyed it. If we’re being honest I haven’t slept that well in a long time.” You blush as you look down at your hands. Carol soon takes your hands and gently caresses them with her own.

“I haven’t slept that well in a while either actually. I normally get nightmares, but with you...” She whispers.

“You feel safe?” You ask as she nods her head with a smile. “That’s exactly how I feel too.” You beam.

Carol scoots closer to you and places her palm on your cheek. You heart begins to race as she slowly inches forward to kiss you. Just as your lips are about to touch, your alarm blares once more and the two of you bump heads.

“I should probably turn that off.” You groan.

“Yeah,” She chuckles “You should.”

[carewyncromwell]

There! Finalized my model sheet for my HPMA girl, Anastasia Read! You can read more about her here at this moodboard post I did for her, but basically she’s a Gryffindor who dreams more than she talks and is determined to be the heroine of her own fantasy story.

Some more info about Ana under the cut...

Ana doesn’t resemble her biological parents, John Read and Bonnie Pinkstone-Read, much at all except in hair color (both are also brunettes). Her soft, endomorph frame, strong shoulders, and bluish gray eyes come from her maternal grandfather. As an adult Ana’s even taller than her mother Bonnie, who’s very petite all the way around.

Poor Ana is actually quite self-conscious about her weight, thanks in no small part to the, um...attempts at support from her mother Bonnie, who frequently expresses “concern” about Ana’s health because of her size. At school she wears a highwaisted skirt to hide her tummy, as if she wore a skirt like all of the other girls’, she’d look like -- in her mother’s words -- “a sack of potatoes tied in two.” It’s also the reason she always wears pants, tights or leggings -- she thinks her legs are very chubby and unattractive. Despite her roundness, however, Ana’s also always had very strong shoulders and is on the taller side compared to her other female classmates, which helps her put off a tougher image.

Bonnie Read’s biggest foible as a mother is her immaturity. She wants to be Ana’s “friend” more than a mentor most of the time, and so has difficulty enforcing discipline or even in setting a good example. Bonnie almost immediately dated three other men after divorcing John, all of whom either pointedly ignored or expressed open resentment toward her daughter Ana, before she finally met, dated, and married her second husband. Bonnie’s dependent personality and (as mentioned) subconscious weightism doesn’t help matters either.

Ana’s father John Read is an active-duty soldier. He’s actually an incredibly absent father who never really had much interest in having a family, but Ana’s always put him on a bit of pedestal, partly because of her image of him having become a soldier for noble reasons like serving his country and partly because him not being there to actively be a poor parent like her mother Bonnie made it easier for Ana to romanticize John in her mind. Ana writes to John very frequently. John doesn’t write back much at all.

Ana’s best mentor figure is her stepfather, Bradley Pinkstone (a wizard and Gryffindor alumnus himself). He and his two grown sons Jasper and Preston (a Slytherin and Gryffindor in their day) are very affectionate toward Ana, which kind of weirded her out at first, considering she’s not their blood relative and she’d assumed they’d hate her...but oh, was she ever so glad to be wrong! The new Pinkstone-Read family live in a rather pretty brick house in Stratford-Upon-Avon.

Her best and favorite class is History of Magic, but she tends to enjoy all classes where she can write essays. She’s always been miles ahead of her classmates when it comes to writing, especially considering that there are no specific writing or grammar classes taught at Hogwarts. Just about every written assignment Ana’s ever submitted has gotten an O.

Contrariwise, she struggles in classes that are more “physical” like Care of Magical Creatures or Flying.

Despite not getting into Flying class or Quidditch, though, Ana does take time to practice flying on her own at night when no one else is around. She finds moonlit broom rides incredibly romantic and great inspiration whenever she’s suffering from writer’s block.

Ana’s an avid journal keeper! She goes through a good five of them every year. She generally magically shrinks her finished creativity journals for easier storage, and she always hexes whichever one she’s currently writing in order to make sure no one else can open it. (If you’re somehow lucky enough to get her permission, she’ll open her creativity journal for you so you can read it and look at the doodles she did.)

Her favorite authors are Jane Austen, Charles Dickens, C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien, Hans Christian Andersen, and William Shakespeare. Her favorite type of movies are high fantasy like The Princess Bride, Stardust, and The Lord of the Rings.

Ana’s also huge into Japanese manga! Her one true love is Sailor Moon, but she’s very fond of shoujo manga titles like Cardcaptor Sakura, Ouran High School Host Club, and Fruits Basket.

Ana’s favorite musical genre is symphonic metal, introduced to her by her oldest stepbrother Jasper. Her favorite bands are Within Temptation, Evanescence, and Nightwish.

As a teenager, Ana falls in love with the Victorian Gothic and steampunk subcultures, the first of which Jasper dabbles in and the second of which Preston is hard-core into. Being an INFP, she loves the creativity, historical bent, and romanticism in both movements. At the Pinkwood-Read family’s formal Christmas parties, you’ll often see all three of them wearing top hats with their holiday ensembles.

Ana does NOT make friends easily, but once you do become her friend, she’s always got your back. Her BFF is Hufflepuff Robin Isherwood @cursebreakerfarrier​. She also gets along pretty well with Gryffindor housemate Lorcan O’Donnell @unfortunate-arrow​, Slytherin Jordi Prewett @cursebreakerelmswood​, Ravenclaw Noa March @that-ravenpuff-witch​ and Hufflepuffs Mitch C. Hodge @department-shoe-stud​ and HG Gray @ljthebard1​. They all either call Anastasia “Ana” or “Annie” -- her stepfather and brothers call her “Anya.” 

Upon finding out how much her BFF Robin likes flowers and plants, Ana went out of her way to collect some books on the Victorian language of flowers. (Her brother Jasper gave her a hand with finding some good ones.) One Valentine’s Day she even sent Robin a friendship bouquet of irises, goldenrod, oak-leaved geraniums, and southernwood without any sort of note -- not that it was necessary, given that flowers’ message translated to “Just wanted to let you know you’ll always be my best friend.” (Everyone else assumed Robin had this mysterious secret admirer.)

If anyone rubs Ana the wrong way, they can expect a formal dueling challenge. Ana is witty on the page, but not verbally, and she’s upfront and honorable enough when she’s angry to want to “take it outside” and settle the dispute on the dueling field the way a knight would avenge a slight to their king’s honor, rather than be backhanded or sneaky about it.

Ana may be cisgender and identify as straight, but she is the ULTIMATE LGBT+ ally. Even when she was a kid, she would get very hot under the collar about homophobia, racism, or any other sort of prejudice, thanks to her Gryffindor sense of honor and her INFP sensitivity, and after Bonnie married Bradley and Ana met Jasper (who’s transgender FtM himself), Ana became all the more passionate about LGBT+ rights. She only becomes more vocal in her support after some of her friends come out of the closet too.

Ana’s greatest fear is being insignificant. This is depicted in boggart form as the whole room around her suddenly becoming huge, to the point where she’s as tiny and helpless as a mouse.

Ana’s Patronus is a black swan. If she ever became an Animagus, she’d be a large brown and gray tabby cat with oddly colored bluish gray eyes.

I could see Ana one day becoming a well-regarded author of fiction books for young magical children.

[girlobsessed21]

My thoughts on The 100 7x05

Hey, guys,

Sorry for not doing any comments on the last two episodes. I’ve been a little busy and I struggled to connect to the show, so it hindered my enjoyment, but it’s all better now. Liked episode 4 and 5 was even better, jampacked with info and it answered a lot of questions.

Welcome to Bardo

Badass Octavia is da bomb (people don’t say that anymore, right?). When she was captured in episode two, I thought she had lost her fighting spirit, but it’s back, bitches. Well, until she runs into an invisible wall trying to escape. She’s captured and transported to M-cap (whatever that means). Then we get a welcome little flashback to Lincoln but it’s obvious that Bellamy would be the hand reaching out. He’s her rock, like she’s expressed many times.

Unlike John Murphy who is not quite a friend, or family and definitely not a lover. Introducing so many new characters in the final season of a show is never a good idea, because this is the time to wrap up all the stories of the existing ones, but come on, who cannot love Levitt. Even when he first meets Octavia, he doesn’t want to hurt her. Jason, you better not harm one hair on this precious little puppy’s head!

As he binges The 100 through Octavia’s eyes, he starts rooting for her, and he actually gives a damn, unlike most people on this show. He understands her strengths and weaknesses and he makes her see it too. “You’re a warrior to be sure, but your heart is pure.” Wow, what an honest and beautiful line. (Scroll down for my shipping comments.)

So is O and Hope’s fleeting little reunion. It’s amazing to experience this deep loving side of Octavia after her darkness. She’s truly one of the most diverse and developed characters on the series. Now Hope and her resilience is quickly making it to the top as well.

While Hope is trying to send her back home, we learn that memory loss is due to the time dilation. One quick note on this, it’s not linear, there’s no easy equation to calculate it unless you’re Stephen Hawking or Einstein. I don’t think it’s constant either. 10 years on Skyring = 11 days on Bardo = a few minutes on Sanctum. In the current time, 5 years on Skyring = 1 day on Sanctum = 7 days on Bardo. So, it’s clear that the planets are moving, and other factors are playing into the phenomenon. It’s more important to understand the time relative to each planet.

Levitt was the one who tattooed Hope’s code onto O’s back, also the one who planted the note into Hope’s arm. Indeed the kind of man you want on the inside, he even accepts a blow to the face as thank you.

Sheep-ish?

Thirty minutes on the clock and the trio gets led to a congregation to praise the shepherd. I never thought it was Anders, I do, however think it might be Cadogan. The Bordoan’s built the underground forest because they destroyed their planet. Ugh, what’s new? The shepherd herded his sheep from earth to Bardo via the stone. Cadogan and his second dawn cult?

Back to Clarke. So, after last episode I thought ‘the key to winning the last war’ line was an artifice for luring Clarke to disciples, but now it’s clearly true. They’ve located the key and they will win the last war. Levitt was interested in Clarke surviving the City of Light with the flame in her head, they probably assume she still has it. Cadogan burned Becca alive. Could it be because of the flame? Is this all because of that damn little chip that can’t seem to die?

Bellamy is not dead, I repeat, Bellamy is not dead! I believe that memory could be staged or implanted for a reason. Also, there’s no body, he jumped through the bridge. In the promo photos, he wears a ring but his actions towards Octavia seem a little cold and generic. On first watch, I thought it was bad acting but if he was programmed to do this, it makes sense.

Note the sequence of events. Octavia returned 7 days ago and was asked to talk her brother down, but we don’t see the actual scene. Instead we’re shown a memory. They could have implanted it to make her vulnerable and perhaps more susceptible to the procedure. I don’t know, but this theory could lead to Robot-sheep!Bellamy on Nakara, where he’ll encounter Clarke and the gang.

I have to be honest, I really don’t like this character arc for Bellamy. It’s unoriginal and a mime of Peeta’s storyline in Mockingjay. Sorry, but so far it feels like the writers were so over the show, they just wanted to get it done. And that attitude really bleeds into one’s creative concepts. I could be completely wrong, in fact, I hope I am.

Echo spins a Finn

My word, I lost the love of my life once, but I sure didn’t kill anyone. When Echo received that vision of Roan, I was hoping for some progression on her individual arc, they’ve made me care about her, and now we get the opposite. Why? One thing I have to admit, a killer performance from Tasya Teles! No pun intended.

Look, this show hasn’t explored Bellamy and Echo’s relationship enough to make her murder believable. It was the exact same thing with Finn. I wasn’t invested in Finn and Clarke’s connection, so his actions of killing a grounder tribe was more repulsive than understandable. Sure, Echo loves Bellamy and her sole purpose is to save him, but I’ve never truly witnessed their love for each other. They had one or two intimate scenes which cannot compel a deed like this. And in the process, she screwed Hope and Diyoza.

Anyway, I don’t think there’s any coming back from it. She murdered an innocent person in cold blood. That’s sure to open a door to the dark side.  Just look at Octavia after killing Pike and her actions were justified by jus drein jus daun.

Say Sanctum three times slowly and it sounds like… Sanctum

Blind faith

Look, I’m just gonna come out and say this song is getting old. Every episode featuring Sanctum is the exact same thing with different lines. Can we please move on from it, already? Yes, we know the COG want Russel dead, and the adjusters will go to extreme lengths to free Russel and the prisoners are background noise.

I did appreciate Nelson stepping in to try and save the girl, though. Still doesn’t save the fact that it’s repetitive. The Sanctum plotline is really struggling to take shape and I hope it happens soon. Dramatic eyeroll.

At least in the drought of a desert, you can always count on Murphy. “…I say we live and let die.” Typical cockroach line, right, but it’s ironic when he’s the one to step up, even if it is for Emori. Under the magnifying glass it’s the exact same plot as episode 1 and 3. He hesitates to take action, and eventually becomes the hero.

I mean, he saved that poor kid from being burned alive. Can you imagine sacrificing your own child in such a horrific away? Cults are beyond whacked, and, unfortunately, it’s reality that cult members are so blinded by their faith that they do not see rhyme or reason.

How did Murphy fail that test? I didn’t. When Trey named the four pillars, I thought, isn’t rejoice one of them? Surely, a cockroach would have smelled that trap a mile away.

Indra the great

Can we just give a massive round of applause to Adina Porter!!! That powerhouse walk vibrates strength and majesty, damn, she should be a false god, I wouldn’t dare threaten her with or without an army.

Three little words was all it took for her to recognize evil. “There’s a spider on your shoulder.” Smooth. Too bad she can’t kill him. Why not, how many of the faithful are left to cause an uproar? Wonkru doesn’t know it’s Sheidheda, they won’t care, the COG will fall in line and the prisoners will be happy as long as they get their compound. Sorry, I don’t get it and I don’t understand why she doesn’t tell anyone.  Someone please explain?

Granted, JR Bourne as Russel is way better, but I still don’t understand his actions. I hope they explore and explain him more, because he still feels flat unless he knows something of this final war. I’m hoping these two storylines align soon since it’s really driving a wedge between me and my love for the show.

Shipwreck

I’ll start with the easy stuff, Murphy, Emori and the perfect dress gets a heart eye emoji from me. They are so damn cute this season, can they please live happily ever after in the palace?

Octabriel vs Levittavia

Now, I enjoy Levitt fangirling over Octavia. I feel like he has a deep sense of her through her memories. If I have to root for an underdeveloped relationship, it will have to be one where the characters share thoughts and experiences even if it is through a sick, sci-fi procedure.

On the other hand, Gabriel and Octavia have immense chemistry, two seconds of them together bends my mouth into an “Aah, cute” pout. This will also add some approval and representation for mixed racial relationships.

I really don’t mind either way as long as they make me care through showing and not telling.

Bellarke

So, if my theory is correct, and Bellamy does end up on Nakara, Bellarke will encounter each other quite soon. Bellamy won’t be himself though, but he might pretend to be Bellamy to win Clarke’s co-operation. Is there hope for Bellarke yet?

Echo is now trotting a dangerous path and Bellamy might be pledged to a cause, so I doubt there will be a happy ending for Becho. Since 7x01 I’ve been thinking that the writers might want to develop something between Clarke and Gaia but if they are separated, is there enough time? Guess we’ll see.

This monster of a review is finally done… If you read through everything, you deserve a gold star! Let me know what you think, till we meet again…

[p-and-p-admin]

Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello DeepShadows2 and welcome to Behind the Quill, I am pleased to have this chance to chat with you.

Many of our group’s members will know you as part of our Mod team but they might also know you as the author of Peculiar and of Good Night, Sweet Prince (written for our last Prompt Week of 2020!)

Okay, let’s jump right in. What's the story behind your pen name? 

I grew up in the martial arts and my 'warrior name' was 'kage urufu' or Shadow Wolf.  When I was in Creative Writing in high school, someone else was writing under that pen name, and they were more popular, and I was told I 'wasn't allowed to copy her name' by our teacher. So I went back and forth between some names and finally came up with DeepShadows. It is because during karate Kamp's ninja night games I would find the darkest spots in the camp and wait to sneak attack my enemies to steal their flags. The 2 comes from the fact that my first ever FF.net account got deleted because I put up lemons there instead of AFF.net.

Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most?

Honestly, it is a mix between Severus, Draco, and Minerva. Each in their own way was in positions they would have rather not been in at one point in time, but made the best of those situations. Do you have a favourite genre to read? (not in fic, just in general) Strangely enough, I am really into my 70s Feminist Sci-Fi. Like Darkover and Tanith Lee's 'Don't Bite the Sun' Series. As for Fic, I am into many scenarios and it changes according to my mood. Recently I've been into fluff slice of life.

Do you have a favourite "classic" novel?

Oof. Asking me to pick solely one is a crime. I have always loved Gone with the Wind. If I had to point at one, it would have to be it. But I honestly went over 15 titles in my head trying to decide which one would be the winner. 

At what age did you start writing?

I have been telling stories and writing them since I was young. I could read and write at age 4 because my grandmother wanted me to be ready for school. My first written story was at 5 ish and I still have my Crayola blue five-line story about a Unicorn named Pepper.

How did you get into writing fanfiction? 

I got into fanfiction when I discovered that ff.net existed. My first fanfic is still up there under this pen name, but it is miles and leagues from my current quality. Spelling is still atrocious though.

What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works?

Honestly, hard to say. I love post-war fics. I love when the narrative is close to canon, but uniquely not, so it handles like it is an extension of the world and not a separate world. 

Theme wise, I am a sucker for hard-hitting drama.

What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter?

I was into Kingsman, but not as a fic writer, but a Tumblr role-player. It's been a while, so mostly now I'm just back to being a Potterhead. It's where I began and where I always come back to.

If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? Do you have a favourite piece of fanon?

Snape lives! You cannot tell me that a POTIONS MASTER who spends ALL DAY every day keeping students from POISONING themselves and who personally makes BLOOD REPLENISHERS for the infirmary would not have been prepared for an attack from Nagini. It is not secret knowledge that Drama King Voldy likes to have her do his dirty work and Severus would have been prepared for the off chance he was discovered and attacked. He lived.

My favourite piece of Fanon.... hmm... I like a lot of Fanon.  It's hard to put my finger on just one piece that I enjoy.

Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet? 

Music! Nearly all of Peculiar was written to Folklore by Taylor Swift.

What are your favourite fanfictions of all time?

Cake and a Cup of Tea by Cybelle Somewhere I belong by .... I can't remember Not Only a Granger by my friend Ferporcel

Are you a plotter or a pantser? How does that affect your writing process?

I am a Pantser. I have beats and thematic key points I know I want to hit, but the characters sort of fill out the story as I go. Sometimes I surprise myself with where I end up and I love that. Example: Draco/Krum was a total accident in Peculiar, but I love everything about it. 

What is your writing genre of choice?

Hurt/Comfort and Drama/Angst

Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why?

Peculiar and Good Night, Sweet Prince.

Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote? What did you learn from writing it?

Oh, my goodness, the unexpected cropped up. Peculiar was only supposed to be a 25 chapter post-war, post-divorce AU that turned into this beautiful beast. Characters were created as I went, and some side characters became major plot devices or turning points. I learned that sometimes my brain knows what it is doing before I know what it is doing. There were hints and notes of what was going on that I wasn't even aware.

How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write?

There are points that are special to me.  It made it easier and harder to write.  Having experience with some subjects Hermione goes through makes it easier to translate the emotions into words, but simultaneously, some of those factors are trauma-based and I had to navigate myself through.

What books or authors have influenced you? How do you think that shows in your writing?

I draw influence from everything I read. That is a key reason I don't read anything similar to my current work while writing because I don't want to accidentally lift from someone else. 

Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction?

Two of my roommates are readers and I get people barging into my room after a post a chapter yelling 'OH MY GOD'. I also have a typed and printed review handed in person to me by my roommate that is on my inspiration board where she says 'Fuck you, but with love'. My entire friend group knows I write fanfiction and I get some of them to read it from time to time. My mom won't read peculiar until it is finished because she doesn't want to nag me for chapters.

How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"? 

YES! I started Peculiar because I couldn't find what I was looking for. I wanted a high emotion, high stakes, drama and background rich fanfiction in which Hermione has completely broken and has given up on herself. Where she has nothing and no one and has lost that spark in her. I wanted Ron bashing where he is a villain and yet isn't the same time. I wanted Severus to be indifferent to her at first and slowly discover her suffering and set out to help her for the sake of the school, and it develops into more through feelings severed early on just after the war. I wanted her to have to overcome trauma and recover for herself, not for Severus, but instead with him and that they heal from their past together while facing continuous challenges that attempt to tear them apart. Along with other factors that haven't come to be yet, so I won't want to spoil.

How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media?

I love my audience. It actually brought me here. Shout out to Geek and Tattoo for bringing me to this group’s Discord server. I answer every comment, I respond to any statements or comments I notice on social media. I'm an open person with my audience, which is why when I had to go on hiatus, I told them exactly what was going on.

What is the best advice you've received about writing?

Write what feels best. If you don't like what you are writing, no one else is going to.  If you don't want to write a certain scene but you need it, write an article or a letter about it. 

What do you do when you hit writer's block?

I cry. Then I put on the music that inspired the story/scene and I pace my room, going over the potential dialogue and basically acting out what I think should happen until it sounds right.

Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing?

Yes. Many of my OC characters are modelled after some of my real-life friends. And some other events have easily transitioned into events that Hermione and Severus have gone through.

Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser?

I am currently writing the next chapter for Peculiar. I won't give a teaser, but I will say that Hermione and Severus give Rita Skeeter a delicious taste of revenge.

Any words of encouragement to other writers?

Don't stop, but also be kind to yourself. Not every writing session is going to be your best, but you won't have better days if you give up. Also, if someone doesn't like what you write, forget them, as long as you are happy with it, that is what matters.

Thanks so much for giving us your time.

[sandalaris]

10 for 10 for 10

I’ve been tagged by @yossariandawn Thanks for thinking of me! and for all the great questions! (and sorry it took so long. I had a hard time thinking of 10 questions of my own.)

Answer 10 questions, ask 10 questions, tag 10 people.

1. If you could learn a new skill instantly, what would you choose? I’m not sure. I think that if it’s a skill you really enjoy than taking the time to learn becomes part of the enjoyment, so it’d have to be a skill I either only kind of wanted or that I felt was a need over a want. Oo, MMA, good exercise and the ability to defend myself or someone else if I ever need to, and it’s not something I feel really passionately about going through the process of learning.

2. What part of the world (that you’ve never been to) would you choose to live in for a month? Hyère, France. Don’t even have to think about it. About eight years ago I was planning a move and it was on the short list of places I was considering going to. The climate seemed the most ideal to what I wanted to live in and all the pictures were beautiful. 

3. Favorite kind of sandwich or wrap? Grilled cheese? I don’t like sandwiches (or wraps) typically.

4. Show swap! Bring back 3 shows you love, but you also have to choose 3 you like to cancel instead. Oo, gotta think about this one. I don’t want to bring back a show that was already past its peak and I don’t want to say to cancel a show that isn’t ready to end.

Cancel: (I stuck only with shows that I watch and enjoy so I’m not digging at any show just because it’s not my personal preference)

NCIS – I love the show, seen every last episode and will continue watching it until the end, but it’s time for it to wrap up. It well past its prime.

Lucifer – Listen, I love this show, and there’s a ton of great characters and material here to make a long running series, but they have started going in circles with it and that’s making it feel old. How many times can the same characters learn the same lessons before it just feels like the writers are just forcing things back into the same ol’ mold? Let the story grow or move on.

Shameless – It’s a stretch because the finale season has already been declared, but it’s a show that I don’t really need that finale season, even if I will watch and enjoy it, because it’s reached its natural end.

Bring back:

From Dusk till Dawn: the series – I debated on this one. It wrapped everything up so nicely and I’m quite happy with how it ended, but at the same time the writers had plans for the next season and it was never officially cancelled and there’s so much more story that could be told.

Firefly – Although it’s been enough time that it might have to be more of a reboot maybe? Or are we doing the impossible and it’s coming back shortly after it was canceled? Either way, that show was cancelled way too soon.

The Gifted – Yes, it was a bit cheesy but it’s just as good, if not better than, a lot of the comicbook shows still going AND it ended on a cliffhanger. It needed to continue

5. What fandom would you want to get into, but haven’t yet? I don’t know. I feel like I don’t exactly pick my fandoms. I start watching a show or go see a movie or read a book and then if I feel like looking up fandom stuff after I do.  

6. What show or movie do you watch to cheer you up? Probably Community. It’s a good show that has that nice balance of being a ridiculous comedy, but not too silly at the same time. And it hits so many of my favorite tropes. (Leverage could also count.)

7. Favorite condiments? ….salt? That’s technically a seasoning, but I am not a condiment fan. They are mostly gross and just cover up the flavor the food with their grossness.

8. What characters (from different universes) do you think would love hanging out together? Pick as many as you want. I wrote for fun a Kisa (FDtD) and Troy (Community) scene and discovered I really like them interacting (there was other people in the scene, but they stole all my attention in a matter of moments). They connected in a weird way and I loved writing Kisa’s bizarre and confused reactions to Troy. Britta (Community) and Richie (FDtD) would get along well I think. They’d click in that odd way that Richie has with random people and Britta would be a little too oblivious to Richie’s more social flaws/creepy nature, as is her way when it comes to guys with even the tiniest bit of charm and intelligence. Not gonna lie, I kind of ship them now.

I would also put Shawn from Psych with the entire Leverage crew. Sophie is the only one I feel would find him a bit much at times, mainly because she can spot a grift a mile away and Shawn’s kind of always “on” and think it would mess with her trust issues too much for her to be entirely comfortable around him. Nate sees his potential, especially if Shawn’s been brought in to help on a job, and the guy is ultimately one of the Good Guys, and he would go a long way to helping put Sophie at ease. Because Nate’s too smart to be taken in by someone like Shawn and Sophie wouldn’t feel like she’s the only one who sees him for the conartist he is. Eliot would groan and grumble for show, but in the end Shawn’s like a combination of  his two favorite people in the world; Parker and Hardison. Plus, I headcanon Shawn and Eliot as cousins. I think Hardison might find Shawn a little too like himself to ever be best buddies with the guy, but overall they’d get along just fine. As for Parker... I feel like they’d be almost like two kids on the playground who both found out they like the same obscure cartoon none of the other kids have seen. 

I have a little headcanon about Parker (Leverage) and Clint Barton (MCU) having been in the same foster home as kids and having this kind of a past-sibling-esque connection. I like to think that with both their careers they don’t meet up often, but whenever they realize they are in the same place at the same time, it’s a given that they’ll hang out while there.

My roommate keeps yelling over my shoulder Starlord and Micheal (from the movie starring John Travolta) until I agreed to put them. They would get along in a weird sort of fun way that would be fun to watch but hard to be a part of, but since I haven’t see that movie since I was a kid it’s not one I think of.

9. What’s the most underrated show or movie or book or artist that you love and people should really check out?

Ilona Andrews is an amazing author and more people should check their works out. But the most underrated show I think I’ve ever gotten into… honestly would probably be From Dusk till Dawn. I feel like most of my followers are at least aware of it though because I post enough about it, but it was just really good and sort of cut off before its time. A really close second would be Leverage. It’s still the number one show I recommend when people ask me and I just adore it to pieces.

10. What were you obsessed with as a kid?

So many things, but probably Jasmine from Disney’s Aladdin the most. Pretty sure I named more than one stuffed animal after her.

My questions:

1.      What was your first fandom? Are you still a part of it?

2.      Current self care method(s)?

3.      What are three (3) shows you keep meaning to binge watch but haven’t yet?

4.      Do you stay active in fandoms after a new one catches your eye, or are you more a one at a time person?

5.      What was the last movie you saw with someone else? What would you rate it?

6.      Favorite guilty pleasure?

7.      What’s a highly underrated show/movie/book series that you would recommend?

8.      Any new hobbies you’ve started during quarantine? Any you want to start?

9.      What meme do you wish would just die already?

10.  Spread the love to your followers and post at least one link to a fic you’re reading/have read/wish to read/you’ve written yourself/etc. 

I tag: @shyesplease @valeskaj @ithoughtiwasflying @c-sand @mygutsforgarters @bethanyactually @crystallinee-waters @evanberries @nevergonnabemuchmorethanweather @katwithlove and anyone else who wants to do answer! Seriously, I love having people respond even if I didn’t tag someone. 

[bluepluto03]

mcu spiderman rewrite/au i may or may not do

ok so first quick disclaimer! i do not hate the mcu spider man movies in any way!! i actually enjoy them quite a bit and have seen homecoming like 4 times! and i absolutely adore all the actors in the movies, especially tom, zendaya, and jacob 

but the problem w/ the mcu spiderman movies is,,, they’re just not spiderman. at least from a writing/thematic perspective, which sucks bc so much other stuff about them is great! like tom holland is the perfect peter parker, which is why it seems so close to being right, but with the way the script is actually written... it’s just. not spider-man. 

i feel the need to explain all this/my problems w/ the movies b4 i get into the actuall au idea/plot, so please bear with me for a sec

for context, I’ve loved spiderman my whole life. i’d watch the cartoons when i was younger, and then went back and watched them all again when i was a bit older and figured out how to pirate stuff lol. i didn’t really know how to get into the comics, so i just kinda read wikis and got second-hand info from fanfics and the other movies

to me, spiderman, (at least, peter parker spiderman,) was always about like... a kid, who saw the world was broken and fixed it because he could. he had the power to fix stuff, so he did. 

as a kid w/ mental illness and a not so great home life... that was something really really important to me. to see another kid out there, who’s been through some shit, but finally has the power to make stuff better, so he is! and it would make me think, maybe i can change stuff for the better, someday, if i just get my chance

but,,,,, the problem is mcu peter parker isn’t that. 

instead of becoming spiderman bc he knows there’s bad in the world and wants to fix it, suddenly his motivation is impressing tony stark?? and don’t get me wrong i don’t hate tony, but the way they wrote his and peter’s relationship basically trapped peter. he could no longer be his own hero, bc he was tony’s successor. and that's never who peter parker’s spiderman was?? he was never a follower, he was a trendsetter. he didn’t become spiderman for approval, hell he had dozens of newspapers constantly slandering him. 

honestly the following in someone else’s footsteps thing was always a miles morales thing. he had to step up to the plate and fill the shoes of a spiderman who had already existed for years and was beloved by the whole city. obviously thats not all he is and simplifying his character to that is incredibly obtuse, but i bring it up bc tbh alot of stuff w/ mcu peter parker is just straight-up ripped off from miles morales. like how peter now goes to a fancy private school, is no longer poor (which is a huge thing w/ peter parker’s character in like every other incarnation), has a living father figure, and is bffs w/ ned, who is a straight-up rip off of miles’s best friend ganke. (for the record tho i adore ned and jacob i’m def keeping him in my rewrite,,,, also i’m glad he’s in the movie bc having a plus sized poc protagonist thats not constantly mocked is incredible) 

so, i’m complaining about all this stuff lol but ur probably wondering how exactly how i wanna fix it lol,,,, 

first, give peter an arc thats more than just..... i want tony to believe in me. my idea for that is basically a type of thing where he learns to rely on others! bc like... peter isn’t good at working w/ others lol, he’d much rather do it all himself so no one else gets hurt. (like in the andrew garfield movies where he just,,,, webs his gf to a car so she can’t run into danger lmao) 

the plot would start at a similar ish position to homecoming, though tony never recruits peter for civil war. tbh not sure if it even happened but we’ll disscuss that later

peter’s been spiderman for a few months, after a trip to oscorp left him w/ a radioactive spider bite. currently no one knows about it, and he’s doing a pretty ok job of dealing w/ everything on his own. until he takes down a big bad, lets say rhino for now, and gains a ton of publicity. after stooping a hudge disaster he’s suddenly in the limelight, and catches the attention of one norman osborn, aka the green goblin 

now, quick sidenote. green goblin is genreally seen as pretty goofy, but there are comic versions of him that are legit terrifying. if im being honest i didn’t even know about that version until i read aloneintherains fic birds eating other birds so ig thats kinda ish how i’m imagining this version of norman? though alot more composed, like the man who could someday turn into that 

so norman becomes intrested in my boy peter, and starts sending ppl after him. possibly the sinister 6, but uhh maybe not bc tbh i think this “rewrite” needs to be split into 2 “movies”/works and i might wanna save that for the hypothetical pt2 (btw if i write this it won’t b for a while cause i got other stuff going on but ig if ppl are intrested i might write some snippits/make more content for it) 

so basically the main plot is peter dealing w/ all these big bads on his own, doing ok at first but later getting really fucked up, and eventually revealing himself to ned and mj which ends up being the only way he can save the day in the end. by relying on others! yay!! 

thats it for the main plot, but don’t worry y’all we got other stuff going on too lmao 

so, for one. my boy peter is realizing he has a crush and just,,,, freaking tf out. (i have yet to decide if it’s on ned or mj. or both. sue me) the crush isn’t definitely resolved in p1, but i imagine there’d be some cute thing of him suddenly realizing and freaking out and almost revealing his powers. 

thing 2! tony stark! he is still in here, and still a mentor to peter, but in a pretty drastically different way. one, he doesn't know about peter being spiderman. he doesn't even suspect it lmao. he just gets involved bc of.... some sort of reason bc peter is so smart. do i know why just yet? no. does it matter? probably but i’m writing this pretty late after i had school all day so i’m too tired to care 

bc tony basically gives peter a real internship/mentorship type thing, peter now has access to all this tech!! and all these funds!! fucking lit!! so he changes from his pajama suit to the fancy one, tho he actually built it!! which i feel like him making his suit is a really big really important part of his character. so it doesn't really have all those random things tony added, tho peter might add stuff himself. he gets Karan as a like assistant ai as part of his internship but she never gets put into the suit

for the fist part tony plays a super minor role but like,,,, the first part is about osborn taking an intrest in him, and him confiding in ned and mj. the second part norman is become progressively more dangorus and peter has to fight him and stuff, kinda proving he is strong enough to be spiderman/be trusted to the whole world, beyond just ned and mj. also him actually getting together w/ either one or both of them bc...... bc i want that. 

oh btw idk if tony finds out or not in p2? if he does it’s either at the end or in a scene like the one w/ may bc like. please imagine the shenanigans of peter and ned (who both have high intellegence but low wisdom) in tony’s lab, obviously trying to hide the fact that peter’s spiderman. like he walks in on them and peter looks all frumpy bc he’s been trying to change real fast, and ned’s shirt is messed up bc he just stuffed the mask down the front of it, and mj is just. chilling behing them. so tony just like assumes stuff and is like....aight.... have fun.... 

oh btw the last big change that i didn’t really have anyway to insert natrually into this,,,, so remember how i said ned was kinda a ripoff of ganke? well, the writers claim he’s a “composite character” so i figured, why not give him traits from other famous spiderman side character so he actually is a composite character! 

so like,,,, throughout p1 it’s referenced that ned has a kinda dickish estranged ish dad that he hates and his mom doesn't really like but kinda forces him too... theres some mentions of his dad wanting him to transfer to a private school and being kinda rich, bur he dosen’t want to bc he knows his dad is a total dickead,,,, anyway end of the movie we find out norman osborn is ned’s dad, and ned hates him even fucking more bc it’s like bitch?? u tried to get my (maybe) bf murdered?? tf?? and its lowkey bc he can’t reveal peter’s id, but then in p2 after norman takes matters into his own hands and tries to kill peter on his own ned just fucking yells at him while the man is in jail and is like fuck u lmao 

soooo thats my really messy au idea!! i’m really tired sorry if this is hard to understand or rude! for the record i have nothing against the ppl who adore these movie’s, i just think they could be better! 

[magnoliawhetstone]

what dreams are made of → task sixteen

(tw mentioned of emotional abuse, bad parents)

what was your character like as a child? how about their teen years? what kind of life did your character have growing up?

“As a child?” Lia paused, tapping her fingers on the counter as she thought. “Well, uhm, I was a good child, I think. I don’t know.” She removed her hand from the table and dropped it into her lap, playing mindlessly with her fingers. She could hear Tonya’s voice, reminding her that it wasn’t her choice and it wasn’t her actions that got her sent into exile--she couldn’t hold that weight on her own shoulders any longer. And yet...well, how could she not? Even with all the conversations she’s had with Tonya, with Jack, with Moira (perhaps more vague with Moira than others, but still), there was still the heavy feeling of failure that loomed over her. Seeing Bennett again--no matter how much she knew she shouldn’t place blame on him, her heart still felt strained. “I liked to read a lot--that hasn’t changed. But I think I was more adventurous as a kid. I’d dance in hurricanes, I’d ride my horse for miles when I had the chance--need I remind everyone that I was the one who took the dare at the county fair that night.” She let out a rush of air, passing her fingers through her hair as she felt the weight of her mother’s choice settle in her bones again. “I was so different as a kid. So free. So happy. And then I got on that goddamn plane--” The blonde felt her eyes widened and she placed a hand over her mouth in shock. “I am...I am so sorry. That was absolutely uncalled for--can we just...forget I said that word? Sorry.” Her cheeks were flushed and she rushed to compose herself again. Except...maybe she didn’t want to compose herself. Perhaps, for once, she could let the chips fall where they may.

 “Something inside me broke when Momma sent me away. I stopped thinking the world was mine for the taking, I stopped wanting to take risks and try new things. I wanted a sense of safety, a sense of comfort--the world around me was never stable again, not after she handed me that stupid ticket and pushed me into the car. There wasn’t room for mistakes anymore, not that there really ever had been. But now more than ever it wasn’t safe to take risks, try new things. I just...did what was expected of me and nothing more. It was easier that way.” She closed her eyes to try to stop herself from crying. “Y’know--Jack asked me recently if South Carolina was really a crappy place, or something like that. If I ever missed it. And I do--but not because I miss home. But because I miss me. The one who wasn’t afraid to shoo away barn mice and sneak out to the old oak tree and just live. I miss that little girl who had hopes and dreams and believed in them. And I’m angry that she had that taken from her--and yes, there’s nothing stopping me from having them now, but...I spent fifteen years hiding them in some dusty closet of in my chest and they never got to come out. All because my momma and father said I was too much for them to handle. I think I get to feel a little...pissed off, don’t you?” She didn’t bother apologizing that time--it was well placed, for once.

what were your character’s dream job when they were younger?

“When I was younger I wanted to be a princess. I know, I know--it was definitely not the most realistic career aspiration, but you asked.” She snickered to herself, shaking her head as she thought harder. “Realistically, I wanted to be an English teacher. Or maybe a writer. I think I’ve always wanted to be a writer--I am just enthralled with the idea that putting words together could make people feel things and capture what it means to be human. Even if all I ever write is young adult novels, being able to have my words be apart of someone’s life? Something that gives them comfort, helps them understand themselves better? That’s really something special. But I’d be just as happy as an English teacher. I loved my teachers--Mrs. Buchanan was always someone who thought I had a lot more potential than I let myself believe. English teachers are always looking at you as more than a student--a person. I thought that was special, really special. Mrs. Buchanan did a lot for me, more than I think she even knows. I often think about her when I write today--she’s a special lady. But alas,” She smiled softly, tapping her foot on the ground as she thought. “I’m not called to be a writer--but that’s honestly ok. I don’t mind writing for fun, it’s less stressful that way. I don’t know if I’d want to publish anything, it all feels a little too...personal now. Which, again, is ok. I’m ok with that.” 

what does your character do for a living today? do they enjoy it or not so much? if they could choose any other career, what would it be?

“Oh, today? I’m Mr. Worthington’s personal assistant, of course. I think everyone probably knows that about me--which might not be a good thing.” A large sigh passed through her lips, but she was trying to be...less controlled here, so she would let her emotions come as they may. “Do I like it? Well, some days yes--I really enjoy the work I do, despite what some might think. It’s all about organization, keeping schedules, making sure things work and flow in an efficient, supportive way. I play around with excel sheets, calendars and other task management software and it feels really...satisfying to see it all work the way it should. So I like the work--but the work environment leaves much to be desired.” A hesitant pause sat in the room before Lia gained the courage to continue to speak. “He’s mean. He’s absolutely terribly mean--and I don’t tell people that, because they are already up in arms that I need to quit, if I told them the extent of it, they’d lose their minds. His comments--it’s like he knows exactly how to cut to the core of who you are and stab you in the softest spot. He’s cunning like that--which works in real estate but not in the workplace. I mean, is it necessary to always comment on some part of my outfit? Or the way I do a task? Is it always appropriate to make me feel small and insignificant after a mistake?” It wasn’t like Magnolia to complain--she spent so long doing her best to readjust her mindset to make it bearable, but she didn’t want to do that anymore. “I know I need to quit, I know--but I can’t. If I quit, I’m homeless--and my entire life is in this hotel.” Her face flushed slightly, knowing that she meant more than just her friends--but she wasn’t about to admit that outright, not right now. “Not to mention, I need a job and I really...I really don’t think I have that many more skills to make me employable to anywhere else. Plus it’s all I’ve ever done. I literally have never worked in a different job--I don’t even know what I could do. Jack said open a bakery--but that takes years to set up, right? I mean, its really not a bad idea and I kind of like thought of it--but I, I can’t just do that.. can I?” Her nerves had taken over and she was rambling now. “I just...I feel so trapped, y’know? I either sit and get emotionally abused,” the words flew from her mouth, a label she’d never, ever said aloud but she knew it to be true. “Or I am sitting on the side of Michigan Ave pushing pencils. It’s the worst feeling and I wake up everyday with this stupid choice. And I’m so tired of it.”

as far as school goes, how far did they take their education? did it help lead them to their current position?

“I have a high school diploma and that’s it.” Magnolia could feel the red hot ball of shame growing in her gut. She knew that college wasn’t something she could do when she was 18--no savings, no idea on how to get a loan and the worst part was that she had the money to pay for it. Or her parents did. But they had abandoned her and she was suddenly...completely on her own in a world that she had no training for. She might have been able to get scholarships, but she hadn’t thought that far. And who could blame her? Her parents had always told her college was Bennett’s thing--not hers. It wasn’t her fault the idea had never crossed her mind. Not really. “I think, uh, other things helped me land my position and I really don’t think Mr. Worthington cared too much about my education level.” At the time it was a blessing--but a curse surely followed that choice. 

to this day, what has been the hardest thing for your character to come up against or overcome, whether personally or professionally?

Lia’s gaze dropped and she took a deep breath in. “I mean, overcome feels like a weighty word but I think the hardest thing that I’m still working through is not letting my parents choice define who I am. I’m not who they thought I was. But it still hurts--like, it was so easy for them to just....write me out of their life. Like I meant nothing. Do you know that’s one of my greatest fears now? That the people I love will get...tired of me, frustrated with me, dislike me and then....leave? or kick me out? Why do you think I spend so much time doing things for others? I mean, of course because I care about them--but also because I think, somewhere deep inside of my heart, I’m terrified if I don’t I’ll be disposed of. I can’t keep losing people. I just can’t.” She took a deep, shaky breathe and looked away. “So, obviously, I haven’t overcome it. But Tonya says I’m doing good work--and that, that’s good. Baby steps, right?”

ten years ago, did your character ever think that they would be where they are now? are they happy with that spot in life? what do they hope to achieve yet in the future?

Finally, a truly genuine smile tugged at the corner of her lips. For the first time in this whole conversation she could talk about something that was positive for her. “Ten years ago? Absolutely not. Ten years ago, Magnolia Barnes thought her life would be nothing like it is today. In all honesty, I don’t think she thought ahead ten years. Not that she was too sad too or anything--but it was easier to just...stay in the moment as best she could. Going too far in the past or future just...hurt, and she needed to focus on the work at hand. I don’t think she would have ever believed she’d be in Chicago, that she’d have such a marvelous group of friends around her and that she’d ever see Jack again.” Let alone kiss him. And, to be fair, she also never  thought she’d see her brother again either. She felt herself stop at the word happy. Was she? What did a measure of happiness look like? Could she quantify that? Blinking for a moment, she opens her mouth for a little giggle to pass through. “Yes. I think I am happy--given all the insanity that is currently happening in my life right now, there are things and people and experiences I never thought I’d be able to experience again--the universe doesn’t give second chances very often, so I feel very thankful I was offered a few. As for the future? I don’t....know. I’m sure I’ll figure something out--it feels weird, but I guess life isn’t meant to always have a plan.”

where do they see themselves within ten years from now? are they still at the malnati? are they moved to a different city? transitioned into a different job? where would they want to be in ten years?

Magnolia hummed softly, letting her mind wander. While it felt nearly dangerous to do this a few years ago--things were different. Future didn’t seem like such a risk anymore. “I mean, in all honesty--I hope I’d be married. Moira got me thinking about that and I mean, I know that at one point I’d like to be. I don’t--I don’t know who I’d be married too, no matter what Moira says.” She shot a playful smirk in the direction of the woman’s room. That wasn’t to say that she didn’t have a hope, but she felt like announcing that would just be...too much. “But yeah, married with kids for sure. I don’t know how many I want, but more than two I think. A big family seems just...something that would be really nice. But I’m not set on that, I’m flexible.” She tapped her fingers on the table again, falling deeper into thought. “I love the Malnati, I do--but not to raise kids. I want them to have space to run around, explore, imagine,” Like I did, even if it was only for a short time. She didn’t want to raise kids in a concert jungle--she wanted to give them as much of the world as she could. She would not become her mother, boxing them in. That she could promise. “I don’t know where that’d be, but it’d be, uh, nice to maybe go back home. Or closer to it, I suppose.” Another sigh fell from her lips and she shook her head. “I will not be Mr. Worthington’s assistant forever, absolutely not. I always imagined that once I go married, I’d make a career switch--maybe? I don’t know, but I can promise you that I will not be having children working for that man. Not at all. I--Jack’s bakery suggestion is still really rumbling around in my mind, and I can’t seem to let it go. It sure would be a fun idea--and he’s right, I’d definitely enjoy it. I just...I guess I need to do more work on figuring out how I’d ever go about doing it. But yeah, in ten years--I just hope things continue to progress and I don’t fall back into something else. That’s really all I want.”