#but I've definitely improved since I started so I guess it works right?
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I absolutely HAD to draw something for @phoebepheebsphibs's DTIYS (based on this pose)! I decided to mix things up a bit by experimenting with a more limited color palette, which was a pretty fun challenge.
#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#pheebsdtiys#art#my art#my post#tmnt#alt text#dtiys#mikey#uify#until I found you#I don't actually know how clothing folds work#my “method” is throwing a bunch of stuff against the wall and seeing what sticks#which is basically my method for drawing in general I guess#trial and error#but I've definitely improved since I started so I guess it works right?#anyways#it's like 5am as I'm drafting this post#just finished feeding my daughter and waiting for her to fall asleep before I go back to bed#perfect time to draft a post and ramble in the tags right?#my schedule has gotten so weird with a newborn#but I make time for drawing turtles where I can#saw this dtiys and knew immediately that I had to do it#stayed up way too late doing it probably#but those 2-3 hour intervals where she's sleeping are a good chunk of my free time nowadays#and I am more than happy to spend them drawing uify mikey
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since your art style has changed (and i love how expressive and mischievous? it feels now, idk if that makes sense but i admire the heck out of your growth) what does your process look like now? do you use the same brushes as before? do you want to talk about what you love about your work now? i saw your tag about tlt redraws now that you like your art and it made me curious. anyway love your art so much, nori!
hi!! thank you so much for this very cool question!! i guess before i just drew without much putting any thought to like... anything at all haha, only when i started doing comics was when i actively tried to make myself enjoy the process more.
i just thought about what I hated and tried to change it and just do a lot more art studies in my own time and try to really think about everything... like composition ! and like with colors, i didn't like how i only used to use desaturated tones, when i enjoyed more colors in other art i see.
or with poses, i didn't like how everything i drew felt very static to me, it still does but i'm getting better!! so i've studied dynamic-ness and whatnot.
i didn't like how "realistic" i would naturally go with proportions while drawing when my personal taste enjoyed more cartoon-ish and whimsical proportions, so i tried to be a little bit more loose with that but i'm not all there yet. for example, when i do some reference studies in my own time i find myself copying it 1:1 as it is, so now i try to incorporate it into a specific style without just copying it, it doesn't feel like i benefited otherwise!
i'm also trying to currently improve my lineart, i'm finding it much more enjoyable to draw with a thin brush! my lines were often thick and bulky and not super clean.
and yes!! i used to be loyal to like one or two brushes but i'm just trying new things constantly and it definitely affects the general vibe of the drawing, i've been obsessed with pencil brushes but i'm retiring it for a bit for a more jagged brush that i'm obsessed with now lol (still haven't posted anything with that, (working on it) but it totally changed the vibe.)
i feel like i often know when something looks right but i struggle on how to get there at times, but lately i've been seeing more right than wrong and just generally enjoying drawing.... drawing is my favorite thing.... i clocked in 9 hours yesterday on procreate.
#sorry for making this an essay#i just really appreciate the question#very passionate!#thank you for the nice words too!!
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My first patient today made me so happy. She's this relatively young woman that I've seen a few times now who came in with this story of really debilitating, recurrent episodes of nausea and vomiting multiple times a week that were getting in the way of work and life and leaving her collapsed in the shower for hours a day. She had irritable bowel syndrome listed in her diagnoses, and was tearful for most of her first visit because she was so tired, stressed, and had basically been told repeatedly that she just had to lose weight. I was like, cool, weight can definitely be a goal for your long-term health but right now I'm more concerned about your immediate quality of life.
She's also had migraines with aura since she was a kid, worse the past few years.
Now, don't get me wrong: I did a thorough work-up to make sure that the nausea and vomiting weren't from some other underlying pathology. Thyroid, ultrasound, the words. Results were all pretty much perfect.
Anyway, started her on sumatriptan as an abortive medication for the migraines, it helped partially but not fully, so I nixed the sumatriptan and started her on daily venlafaxine as a preventative and stacked Nurtec on top as an abortive medication and she came back looking happy for the first time I've ever seen her. Like, every single other visit she's ended up crying in the office, not even out of active upset but just because she was so stressed and tearful at baseline. Also, guess what? No more debilitating nausea and vomiting.
I've started several people on antidepressants and one of the things I've been realizing fairly swiftly is that more than half the time I'm starting people on them, they do have depressive or anxious symptoms...but the main thing I'm gunning for is actually either migraines or chronic pain. And I get two birds with one stone: improved pain, and improved mood because, well, antidepressant, but also because not being in pain makes people happier.
Antidepressants woooooo
#personal#residency#dear diary#things I've used antidepressants for so far: migraines anxiety chronic pain helping someone quit smoking#love me a good SNRI/SSRI#love seeing someone's GAD-7 go from 20 to 7#medicine#anyway now I have to stay up as late as I can to switch to night shifts#which frankly is gonna be MAYBE 2 am because I've been going to bed at 9-10pm lately#due to my 6-8am work start times#RIPPPP#thank god my night shifts in the ED are all team B#(team A takes ambulance patients team B takes waiting room)
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Riddle watches New Wish - Post #10
Some speculation and feelings now that I've slept after a binge up to "Trial or Hair-or" and took a break, before I start anything else.
I'm not sure when I can next watch episodes, so please don't reply with spoilers.
Background Characters
I was really worried about Whispers Fred. I only read a small glimpse of the story bible / concept art page a year+ ago- I was pretty sure I remembered Winn and Whispers Fred, though I would not have been able to recite their names.
After recognizing them, I was expecting them to be glued to Hazel's hip. I thought I'd find Whispers Fred and his ASMR shtick really annoying, but he's actually totally fine and doesn't bother me at all.
I'm relieved, because "Writers trying to be cool and they think kids want ASMR, and also I'm pretty sure a kid trying to look this stuff up could easily go down an online route they probably shouldn't be going down at their age" has been my mental vision for the direction this show is going for the past, like, 15 months and I thought I'd have issues with him.
I really like him now because you can tell Hazel's classmates all have their own depth and running gags, which is a great improvement on most of Timmy's classmates.
I can definitely look back and name the shticks for Chester, A.J., Trixie, Chloe, Kevin, Elmer, Sanjay, and Francis. We knew them- You could write a 'fic with them in it and no one would question the lack of other characters, because that's a great cast.
-> But yeah, we didn't really know much about personalities or what they do, and many of those characters I listed faded away in later seasons. I like how we're starting off strong. It makes it feel very planned. We know Whispers Fred has a podcast, even. Impressive.
Throwing this out here because it's still hilarious, but there are at least two kids in Timmy's class who are confirmed godkids - He sees them at Cupid's party - but they were both mysteriously absent when Doombringer came in as a sub to start fairy hunting and it cracks me up.
And that was all the depth we got to them, because it was never played up (and let's be real, they were thrown into Cupid's party from the character stockpile folder).
I like how Hazel is befriending people in her class. Some of them aren't fully fleshed out yet, but they don't need to be. We're getting enough that if I wanted to write a 'fic, I could way more easily play with the personalities of Hazel's classmates than Timmy's, and I love that.
[cnt'd below cut - Very long post, including things I wouldn't truly call negativity, but my vibe is discussing the things I like and the things that aren't working for me personally.
This post leans into things that aren't working since previous posts have been about what is working. Heads up for discussions of child abuse and nostalgic comparisons to the OG show. Proceed at own discretion
Reminder, I'm only up to "Trial or Hair-or" at time of posting this]
Would I Be Watching This If It Wasn't Claiming to be FOP?
The show is very enjoyable; let's start with that. I like Hazel. I like Cosmo and Wanda. I like the set-ups and the kids.
I like watching the show, but... It doesn't feel like FOP, in the sense that I'm not seeing the things that draw me to the original show (Like... the child abuse? Or Crocker? Or the risk of losing your fairies? Or Timmy's struggle to keep his secrets from Vicky, his parents, and his friends?)
Hazel's made a vague mention that she has to keep fairies a secret, but we have no proof Cosmo and Wanda would leave her. No memory wipes either.
Maybe it's just me, but FOP without child abuse is... a WILD concept to me. lol. Dev seems to have issues and I suspect he's being set up for a future plot that delves into them, but it's still funny that our main character is, like... chillin'. No self-hatred? No dissociative issues or anxiety attacks? No sneaking around? Are you sure you're in the right show?
Okay, I guess Dev is bullying her, but he's not been nearly as bad as Francis, who caused physical harm. Heck, Tootie caused Timmy more stress than Dev's causing Hazel. Trixie literally treated Timmy worse than Dev is treating Hazel- she was launching him across the room when he spoke to her.
I'm liking the show, and I see potential in this world where I could set a 'fic... but what would that 'fic even be about? This place is fluffy; Hazel's not struggling much and there's not a lot of meat here for me to dig into.
I'm not seeing stakes, and I'm kinda "hm" about it.
And I'm kinda worried I'm watching a watered-down show that's been made more palpable to an audience looking for found family fluff. Which is fine! ... It's just that I'm here for Fairly OddParents vibes. Where's my child abuse?
I'm nostalgic. I miss my boy who kept a scrapbook with pictures of him in therapy. I miss the jokes that the court once got involved and appointed the family a child psychologist. I miss how he broke down in front of Trixie, wailing that he'll always love her no matter what his therapist says. He had a lot going on that we never saw onscreen, only the implications, and I love him <3
This was the boy who literally froze time for 50 years and told no one; he was messed up and they were not afraid to paint him that way.
I'm the target audience for "people who like seeing tiny details from the OG show brought back," but I'm not the target audience for fluff or sweet and innocent characters, so if that's what we get, I don't think I'll get giddy about it.
And I'll be 100% okay with that because I enjoy watching the show anyway even if it's different, and I'm just super grateful we've got something nice for the series after so many years of a difficult slide.
I write my 'fics and I've made worldbuilding posts for 8 and a half years, but I rarely main-tag anything, and I have unique blog tags for each character so they're harder for people to stumble on, because I was trying to lie low and avoid fandom negativity I kept seeing when I ventured into the tags. So... as much as I'm nostalgic and as much as I have my fingers crossed for the things I want to see, I'm super grateful this show is very enjoyable and seems to be bringing a wave of positivity and new viewers into the fandom.
Let's be clear- I'm REALLY enjoying watching this show, but I'm waiting to see if it adds stuff that fits my interests, that's what this post is.
Threats to Cosmo and Wanda's safety?
I want to start by saying I appreciate how Crocker isn't Hazel's teacher and her dad is not obsessively trying to catch her fairies. Danny's parents trying to catch ghosts worked perfectly fine in his show, but I'm glad this one is a different direction. It's nice to mix things up and not fall into a previous formula.
It's hilarious that her dad is like, seriously doing his paranormal job and it doesn't even affect Hazel, Cosmo, or Wanda yet (where I've watched up to). That's hilarious.
I'm hoping that it's going to come back, because I haven't seen a strong sense that it will. Hazel's dad has speculated there's a ghost in his house a little, but he's not investigated at all and we've not seen any tension regarding this. I hope we're setting up a big plot with confrontation, but there's not enough there yet to make me believe we are, so I hesitate to trust the pay-off is there.
Unclear how Cosmo and Wanda meet Hazel in the morning. Do they stroll over? I assume not- Her parents would think that's weird. They're not in animal form because they're neighbors, so are they poofing over? Do they wake her up like they used to wake Timmy?
Thus far, we've not seen signs that Cosmo and Wanda could be in danger. Jorgen's made an attempt to take them away, which was their fault for claiming a godkid they had no right to take tbh. I don't mind taking a break from Crocker's obsessions, but I do miss the tension he brought us. I miss the danger. I miss the angst implications- This show is pretty fluffy so far, and I can appreciate it, but that's not "FOP vibes" for me.
Jorgen implied Cosmo would get hurt when he fell off a tower, but otherwise we've not seen signs that Fairies can be hurt or killed. And I don't know if that's even a thing that carried over in this universe, so I have to treat it as 0 risk of death.
It would be 100% reasonable for Hazel's dad to shake C and W's hands and ask to interview them, which is fine - It's a new vibe than Crocker, Doombringer, and Leadly and we could probably use that - but I think I'd be disappointed if that was the payoff for emotional investment of implied danger.
C and W haven't expressed any fear in Hazel's dad since Episode 1. I really liked Episode 1 - a lot of thought went into it - but the rest of the episodes seem like they're using Episode 1 as a diving board, but not circling back to what we established there. Which is actually super frustrating right now.
You hooked me! ... So, where's the stuff you hooked me with?
We're no longer getting C and W fumbling around the human world, we're no longer getting miserable Hazel, we haven't had any awkward neighbor interactions between C and W and the parents, and we're no longer getting the threats to C and W's safety. I feel a little cheated and I hope we see more threats later.
Please give me an awkward dinner party with the neighbors. Give me one of the parents coming over to borrow sugar and C and W have to poof away from Hazel and rush back home to maintain their facade.
Give me neighbors wanting to come to a party at C and W's and they have to protect everyone from accidentally wandering into Fairy World or using dangerous Fairy equipment. Give me C and W getting put in charge of a neighborhood event they don't know anything about. Give me Hazel's parents asking if C and W can babysit and they're so paranoid that they call constantly to check in while C and W try to act like everything is normal and they're not running around doing magical things.
I feel like we've given personality to the schoolkids, which is fine... but I'd love to see personality for the neighbors. To me, living in the same building as fairies who don't know how to be human is a fantastic plot set-up, and they're doing nothing with it.
In other words, I'm glad Hazel is delved-into as a character, but I feel like we've not seen anything about what's going on with Cosmo and Wanda.
-> Hazel's in her school arc right now, but maybe we'll have a summer break arc?
Here's my thought on that. Bluey does a really good job of balancing what's going on with the kids and what's going on with the adults. Yes, the show focuses more on the kids, but it's always clear what the adults are doing, like Bandit trying to talk to his friends while Bluey complains about him taking too long, and Bandit feeling sad when his friends leave so he can take care of Bluey.
Early in the series, we see the kids playing in the park ("Shadowlands") while Chilli and her friends talk about TV shows they like in the background. There's a constant sense in that series that Bandit and Chilli have interactions with other people- Heck, we even get an episode of Bandit struggling to make a new friend (and struggling with Bingo getting in the way of that).
I'm not getting that here. C and W do have personality, but do they have friends? Or coworkers? Or stakes? I didn't see a lot of depth to their brief interaction with Jorgen, nor does Cookie seem to be someone they know in any way.
For this show to win me over, I need them to interact with their neighbors and environment in a way they're not currently doing. Right now, they're just giving Hazel magic... but I'm starting to think they could be sexy magic lamps. I don't remember struggling with these feelings in the OG show, although back then I binged like 4 seasons before making any posts.
- It is not to their favor that they can easily spend an episode in object form and just chill. We used to have Crocker trying to sniff them out even in object form, and I kind of miss that. And yeah, they're retired, but I hope we get to see more character depth and relationship involvement in the future. - In the early season, we had background conversations like Wanda trying to lure Cosmo to the doctor, Wanda explaining to Cosmo that their "special alone time" wasn't meeting her needs and she wants more snuggles, or Cosmo being a pushover when Wanda's dad came around, or Cosmo sneaking his mom into their guest room, or Wanda blatantly telling Cosmo that she still thinks Juandissimo is intriguing. I miss the up and down of that dynamic. It's nice to see them fluffy, but... they're kind of flat. I liked the mail scene and how Wanda hugged Cosmo after he rescued Hazel in Episode 1, but again... it feels like most of their characterization happened in Episode 1. I have my fingers crossed we'll get some of that in the future, like Cosmo and Wanda cheering each other on when they learn things about the human world, or Cosmo sacrificing himself to save her from the Pixie takeover, or showing that when he stands up for his family, he's extremely powerful. tl;dr - I hope we get Cosmo standing up for Wanda. I'm glad they love each other, but I'm not seeing a lot to interest me in their ship. I'm more interested in Hazel's parents, tbh. They've got stuff going on in their "breadwinner therapist vs. paranormal investigator" vibe. And they play with Hazel and hold hands in the background. They're cute, and I want more of that for C and W. - Actually, Timmy used to get called out by his classmates for being "That weird kid who talks to inanimate objects." There don't seem to be any risks for Hazel yet. - If you were to ask me what the biggest threats are to this godparent relationship, I'd say it's either Cosmo and Wanda overstepping past Jorgen and upsetting him, or Hazel's dad finding out. But I'm not sure we're going to push those plots further, which saddens me. Holding out hope, though. - That is actually hilarious I don't see Dev as a threat to her right now, since that was Remy's whole thing. Good for him? Like, he's mildly annoying her in the background, but he's not a true danger at this time. - Jasmine has implied she's sus about Hazel, but it's been brushed off twice without her investigating. I don't think we're delving into it more, which is a shame. I want Jasmine to be weirded out.
Episode 1? Absolutely not lamps- Cosmo and Wanda were involved, they had depth, and there was tension. And the other episodes are fun, but their personalities have taken a backseat.
You can tell there was a ton of thought put into how Cosmo and Wanda interact with the human world in Episode 1. That seems to have gone away now, and they're even in reboots of their old outfits instead of their human disguises, so... it's nostalgic, but I kind of wanted to see how they'd changed over time. If you're going to give them new outfits, why not use them?
If C and W were, presumably, aging while on their time travel vacation that lasted 10k years and they look the same, what on earth was Jorgen doing that makes him look so aged after just a handful of years? I'm unclear where we are in the timeline.
We've had some nice Cosmo-Wanda-Hazel moments (like the seahorse and princess game where they were playing together), but I'm thinking the "Cosmo and Wanda nitpicking at each other" problem has been solved by taking away their conversations with each other- they're really just here to talk to Hazel.
That's fine, I guess. I just want to see more of them interacting with each other. Because I miss them.
It reminds me of when I critiqued Sparky vs. Chloe, because I felt Chloe fit really well in the dynamic while Sparky was interacting with Timmy, but not really Cosmo or Wanda. Chloe was a great balance of changing the entire dynamic (so was Poof).
I feel like this will probably change in the future when we're not pushing the "Gotta show Hazel is a well-rounded character and focus on her above everyone" direction, but since I'm liveblogging, I need to cite where I am and what I'm looking forward to.
I'm not seeing enough fairy biology going on. I like what Cosmo gave us regarding stretchy skin, but... what is life like for these people? Do they have to avoid touching humans?
Do Cosmo and Wanda pay rent? Do they pay taxes? Do they know their neighbors? Do they see other kids and get nostalgic for their past godkids? (I have to assume yes, since they took in Hazel).
-> I like the implication in "A Dinosaur in Dimmsdale" that Cosmo and Wanda have been around long enough to be familiar with the special event held at that time. I'd like more of that, but also deeper. And maybe that's asking a little much since the show is for kids and of course it's focusing on the kid... Idk, maybe I'm reading into this too much.
I like how Cosmo has twice struggled to hide his crown. That's a step in the right direction, but unfortunately I can't remember if his second time was also in the first episode.
That first episode was beautiful- everything I wanted. But the others don't meet the expectations and story hooks that lured me in.
I think what I'm trying to say is that my vision of Cosmo and Wanda in New Wish relies heavily on what I got from the OG series. I don't think I've seen much in New Wish to give them enough personality to stand their own.
I'd really like to see Juandissimo or Mama Cosma shake things up. I think by this point in the OG series(?), we'd seen them split in "Dog Day Afternoon" and "Apartnership." We knew Wanda wanted to be an author, we knew Wanda had friends in town, we knew Cosmo was a mama's boy, and we knew they were goofballs who were rarely apart and would totally crash into things when they were looking at the other.
We also knew Cosmo and Wanda had issues with being mistreated ("A Wish Too Far"). They were also goofballs who struggled to pass as human ("Transparents") and joke around ("Tiny Timmy"), and they'd make their own assumptions even if they weren't what Timmy expected (Stealing an alien prince in "Spaced Out" instead of making their own monster). Cosmo even pretended he was about to explode in "Same Game" to joke with Wanda, so she didn't believe him when he was actually close to exploding.
AGAIN... I am not far into New Wish. On one hand, it's great that Hazel's not mistreating Cosmo and Wanda, so we don't need an episode like "A Wish Too Far." I think we'll be getting more depth later in the series, but I'm liveblogging my thoughts so we can see if my opinions change.
-> I don't feel like we've learned enough about Da Rules. They were a big deal in the OG series and I'm very unclear on what Hazel does or doesn't know. I'm unclear which of the Big Rules are still in play. In the OG Season 1, Cosmo and Wanda had to grant wishes when Timmy talked in his sleep. I'd like a bit more of those rules showing up here.
-> Unclear to me if Cosmo and Wanda stay in Hazel's room at night.
I just still think they're a little "sexy lamp" for me and I want this to change. As annoying as they were (affectionate), I'd love to see Mama Cosma, Big Daddy, Blonda, Schnozmo, or Juandissimo mix things up. Because Cosmo and Wanda both have drastically different reactions to each of those people.
Maybe that's what's missing for me, because I've been writing 'fics where they ARE interacting with these people, so I'm used to seeing them have to juggle other people? In which case, that's unfair for me to judge, lol.
Blonda only had 2 episodes I think, and one of them was a cameo where she wasn't interacting with Wanda. It'd be super interesting to see her return and play a role as large as Mama Cosma's or something. I miss her too.
I am REALLY looking forward to seeing more of how Antony plays into Hazel's life. It's incredibly obvious that she cares for him (even sleeping in a bunk bed and wearing his hand-me-down shirts), so that's fantastic.
tl;dr - Cosmo and Wanda are just kind of there (imo). I'm pretty sure the episodes after the first would be basically the same if Hazel had no fairies, but was a witch who could use magic on herself.
I'm not seeing anything that makes me say "Yes, this definitely needed to be a show about godparents and not just any show about kids with magic." Give me a reason why we couldn't have a show about Hazel being a witch, having spy gadgets or tech, or having a genie. I want Fairy World! I want misery!!
Fairy World and Jorgen
I'm putting my faith in the idea that we'll return to Fairy World. I can't imagine that we wouldn't, but I have to say, our first glimpse of it didn't look too magical or dramatic.
I like how the OG series sets Timmy up as believing Fairy World is glittery and magical, so Cosmo and Wanda must goof off all day. In reality, Fairy World is big on rules and discipline. I think we take Jorgen for granted as a character since he's been around for 20+ years. It's easy to forget how funny it is that we have a big, buff, military-attitude fairy bossing people around a glittery magical world. That's hilarious!
Think of how "Old Black Magic" gives us a street made of playing cards or how "Odd Squad" gives us purple grass and cars without wheels. Some of their streets float and twist around each other. Their world should look "exciting and unfathomable to the human mind." We haven't seen the Rainbow Bridge either, really.
I have no drive to revisit Fairy World after "Department of Magical Violations," which was the 2nd episode. It didn't look magical or fun. You can tell Jorgen still has his characterization (Being strict but also liking to party), but... he wasn't contrasted against the magic of fluffy Fairy World. Without the contrast, he's just a guy.
I hope we see him again and he gets another chance to show his depth, because even though I went in knowing full-well who he is, I felt like we weren't given enough. I don't even remember seeing his giant staff.
-> He debuted in short episodes in the OG series, so it's not an issue of not being double length. I just think he wasn't utilized as well in such little time.
Give me the guy who used to turn Cosmo into a monkey during drills. Give me the guy who uses a jet pack because he cut his wings off. You don't even get to see his back in his debut, so it's totally possible new viewers might think he still has wings 😔
-> That might seem like a silly thing to be disappointed in, but after the effort that went into showing us details like Hazel's house number or how Cosmo and Wanda crawl across the floor, I feel like Jorgen didn't get the same fully in-depth treatment. He should be someone we're totally hyped to see, but he's... there.
-> Even in Season 0, we were introduced to Jorgen in a way that subverted expectations: the big, scary fairy who was such a contrast with the idea of a friendly godparent was intimidating his godkid (making him wish to live)... AND he's dating the Tooth Fairy. I just haven't had expectations subverted yet in this show and it makes me kind of sad, because that's Jorgen's biggest "selling point." He's funny in contrasting environments.
Maybe he just needs the right person to bounce off, like Binky.
I will say, I think there's nothing wrong with Jorgen not playing all his goofy cards in front of a stranger. He has a job to do and he's good at his job. But I miss him. I miss the doofus who cried for weeks when the Tooth Fairy broke up with him because she didn't like how he tried to forcibly remove Timmy's buck teeth for a wedding present.
I miss the guy who cried when he lost his job, and tried so hard at the other jobs Timmy set up for him, but he was bad at them because all he knew was to set expectations so he kept spoiling movies while selling tickets... and putting people in the hospital with his muscles.
I miss the guy who found out he was standing "in the same room as his cousin," looked at Cosmo, and then went full steam ahead into "Please let it be my invisible cousin Leonard!"
I miss the guy who used to throw pixies at his dartboard or chase them out of their own building because "He's the only one allowed to cause pain to fairies." I miss the guy who put grenades and barbed wire on pizza and gave it to a child. I miss the guy who works in his nana's cafe and covers his niece's shifts at the pet store. I wonder if he still does game nights with Mama Cosma.
I miss the guy whose idea of a good house pet disguise was a rhino in a fishbowl. I miss Jorgen. I love him, and I really hope we get to see more of his funky, goofy side, because he's such a great character.
I've only seen one episode with him, so I'm probably judging too harshly. I just think he has one of the strongest characterizations that's easy to work with because he's hilarious against a glittery Fairy World backdrop, so I miss him and I don't think the DMV was the best showcase episode for him. I'm nostalgic :(
The abuse & trauma?
I really like how the OG show plays with abuse. Yes, Timmy is an abused kid. We know this. It's made very, very clear without it being too scary for a little kid. The OG show is full of things that appeal to me as a kid (slapstick humor) and as an adult (Watching what Timmy's going through and the clever ways the show plays with the abuse angle without being too scary).
- I'm not seeing why Hazel is miserable? Which is okay, because as I said in a previous post, Cosmo and Wanda came out of retirement and befriended her of their own choice (defying instruction), so they're in a gray area with the usual gameplay rules. - I'm just unable to detect if the "godparents lose their fairies when they're no longer classified as miserable" rule is still a thing in this universe. Or "Hazel will lose her fairies when she grows up or reveals them." It's okay if those rules are gone- I'd just like to know so I can adjust my perception of what the stakes are. - Hazel avoided revealing magic to Jasmine in "Fearless," but it wasn't explicitly stated if she was told the rules or if she's just trying not to scare Jasmine with magic.
I'm a little confused that the writers for this show seem to have toned down the abuse and trauma, yet upped some present-day horror. Like, I legit would not suggest a friend watch "Fearless" or "28 Puddings Later" without a warning.
- Those were some VERY scary spiders for a kids' cartoon, especially compared with the goofy spiders from the OG canon. We had onscreen trypophobia (I think? - Not sure if there were enough holes in the cheese, but there were holes) and I used to have a friend who would've struggled with that part of the episode. And I get that swiss cheese is going to have holes- I'm just a little surprised we didn't go the route of making Jasmine a relatable character for someone with trypophobia and instead she faced all her fears as if they were nothing...? Or is that relatable- I'm not sure. I mean, it's a cartoon, so... idk what I expected. I know I wouldn't love being forced into a bloody environment, and a friend violating that after I told them no would possibly be a deal-breaker (and has been, actually, since I've had ex-friends ever since I was a kid stop caring about my boundaries and try to show me blood and/or purposely try to upset me with blood when they lost interest in me as a friend). But also, Jasmine is 10 and if she wants to try facing her fears, she can. I don't have issues with that. - "28 Puddings Later" had red lighting on the bodies and faces in a way that was a little much for my hemophobia, and I think I'm not going to be watching that episode again unless I do some prep. I was trying not to look for most of it.
It's... weird? Usually the Hartman shows go fine for me, although "T.U.F.F. Puppy" has like 2 episodes that jump my hemophobia, but they were... not drawn-out like this. Those were legitimately spooky things to watch (Saying this as an adult who wasn't genuinely scared, but was analyzing the execution and comparing it to other cartoons I watch). I think that's a great thing that sets the tone of the show... but that's not the tone I really want?
It's totally fine for New Wish to be its own thing, but it's not the FOP that drew me in years ago.
- I want more psychology- and trauma-themed underlying jokes, like Cosmo panicking when Timmy's parents babysat Poof because "Those two have no idea how to raise a child!" followed by panning over to Timmy. - I want more bits like Timmy standing up to Imaginary Gary and saying "When I was 8, I learned what a real monster was like" and introducing Gary to Vicky. I want to be asking "Kid, are you okay? Hey, what was that??" and gushing over implications. -> I've seen the tiniest taste with Dev so far, but not enough to catch my interest this early on. I'm hoping that goes somewhere, but if I'm struggling to see the depth in Cosmo and Wanda, I don't have the highest hopes. Like, childhood trauma was a huge thing in the old show (I would argue it's the main theme), and every time those glimpses of Timmy's genuine struggles came up, I lost my mind. I'm not seeing that with Hazel. I like this show for the magic, sure, but I really liked this show for the underlying trauma themes that made you want to explore character backstories with a 'fic. And I'm sure there are plenty of people who want to explore Hazel's relationship with her brother with a 'fic, and Dev seems to have stuff going on, but Hazel doesn't do for me what Timmy and Chloe did. I discussed Timmy above, so let's talk about Chloe. Chloe had serious mental health struggles. She had multiple dissociative spirals. She committed fraud. She broke into Timmy's house to steal from his dad's toy collection because she was jealous. She lied to authority figures for literally no reason except to make herself look better (Not even to cover up magic- She just straight-up lied). When she was upset, she would pull all-nighters and plot revenge (And that was like, her 3rd episode). She lived in denial even when things went wrong. She also wouldn't stand up for herself sometimes, so Catman pushed her around. She also stole from Kevin Crocker while he was passed out (lol), went on power trips, bribed people (including Crocker) to like her, sold out her friends for extra credit, backstabbed Timmy by turning him into a monster who couldn't speak so he couldn't unwish the wish, and it was very clear why she needed godparents. This child mostly raised herself on Fair Bears cartoons for 50 years of the frozen timestream. She has parents who are rarely home, and when they are, they completely violate her boundaries. Timmy literally has to stand up to them for her at one point because she's spiraling into her second dissociative episode since her parents came back to Dimmsdale- she was strugglin'. Chloe's canon is that without Cosmo and Wanda, she would've led a gang (giving us one of my favorite lines in the series, "I can't believe you found 6 kids with eyepatches"). She couldn't handle watching kids for 1 day without screaming at them, calling them "monster children with evil in their hearts," and making them so miserable, all 3 kids got assigned godparents. At the end of the series, she nails Crocker's bed to the ceiling. She's... a lot. On some level, I enjoy that Hazel is not suffering abuse right now. Hazel is very likable, but I feel like the show is going for a different vibe than what I'm looking for in an FOP show. I miss the trauma undertones. That's why I like this show and why it's deeper for me than many cartoons. This is a show that's been a massive part of my life for 8.5 years, so... I miss those hooks that draw me in. I hope we get something like that for Hazel (or Dev?), but I'm not seeing anything that would draw me into this show if it weren't advertised as a continuation of a show I already really liked. It reads like a show I would put down and walk away from. Well, things did draw me in, but... I don't see them being carried through.
And going back to "Fearless" and "28 Puddings Later," I get it, about the spook factor. It IS pudding. I get the joke we're making here, with how funny it is to think of it as a zombie apocalypse. I'm totally onboard- It's not them, it's me. You just can't make my brain settle down, because it sees what it sees and I have to deal with that.
This feels like FOP without all the things I like about FOP.
I'm just... Where's the kids' show I liked to fawn over because it was fluffy and slapstick on the surface, but secretly playing with trauma underneath? I enjoy the ride New Wish is taking me on, but I think I'm only watching this show because of its FOP connection. If this were some non-reboot (just a brand new Nick show about a kid with some kind of magic), it would be kind of "meh" to me so far. I don't think new viewers or kids would be bothered at all, but I miss the OG.
New Wish kind of gives me Star vs. The Forces of Evil vibes. I enjoyed that show's first season, so I don't say that as a bad thing- I just mean "Star had her own wand and didn't need godparents." Except Star got to explore the responsibility and danger of having a wand and Hazel's not giving me that either.
I like how we've gotten callbacks to the OG series. I get excited by the references and I'm very grateful we finally have a reboot that's taking the show seriously and with love. I hope we can lay it to rest when New Wish is over so it ends with a pleasant memory for people.
I like it, but it's not one of those hidden gems I've stumbled on in the past that I've gotten hooked on (Ex: I randomly stumbled across the Carmen Sandiego 2019 reboot, All Hail King Julien, and Kick Buttowski, and every single one of those blew me out of the water as a hidden gem I fell in love with). But... I feel like I'm watching New Wish more to avoid the risk of someone spoiling it for me (and because I want to see allusions to past episodes) than because I'm truly captivated by it, which is a shame.
I love it as a reboot, but I don't think I'd watch it as some standalone show that just dropped. And that's probably fine, because it's not trying to be a standalone- it's trying to be a nostalgic reboot with a fresher take, and that's totally okay.
- But consider... Send the toddlers back to Lightning Walrus Hell while Foop begs to be spared and frantically tries to claw his way out of the vortex after Poof's been vaporized, then rewrite time so they never existed. THOSE were stakes, and THAT was the messed-up stuff I love. lol. - (Do not actually do this- new things are good and if Poof and Foop had to relieve their own childhood trauma regarding the Hocus Poconos, I would die. Also, that was the Season 8 finale and New Wish is only in its first season with chill episodes, so it would be wild to expect that much drama straight out of the gates. Also, it takes time to establish things before we can have that kind of drama. I'm willing to be patient.)
I will say, I do think we're matching some early-series vibes. We had episodes in the early days where Timmy bonded with his friends, and I really like that Hazel's taking her time to meet new friends (something we didn't get to see with him until Mark Chang's Season 2, 3, and 4 appearances). I think that's going 100% fine. I like what I like, but I'm getting increasingly anxious about the things I miss.
I do feel nostalgic for Remy. I miss Juandissimo and Mama Cosma and Vicky and Mark. Nothing wrong with not pushing them in if Cosmo and Wanda have moved past that life drama, but I still want someone or something to cause tension. Shake things up.
-> They don't have to appear personally, but I miss The Vibes.
I will say, I love that Hazel hasn't had a love plot yet. We have no clingy fans like Tootie (or that newspaper girl from "Fairly Odder"), and Hazel's not in love with someone who hates her. I won't be mad if we get a romance plot, but I hope it's something fresh (and not one person pining after the other despite being told that person's not into them, which I find uncomfortable especially in a kids' show if said show plays it as cute or "kids will be kids" without going into how frustrating it is to be the person who wants to set boundaries).
-> Please let me live vicariously through a main character who's not dealing with "Just give them a chance!! :) They really like you! They may seem creepy, but they're probably nice!" vibes.
It's also really nice that no one's immediately attracted to the new kid when she's only been here a few weeks or months. It's nice that she's building friendships. If a relationship blossoms over time, that's fine, but I'm glad no one is currently in love with her and pining for dates (as in, straight out of the gates).
-> I genuinely cannot figure out who they're setting Dev up to be, so if he's a future love interest, I hope he does some serious work on himself. He's got issues and he's mean, and Hazel also seems to think he's mean, so based on my current understanding of his character vibes, it'd be weird if she conveniently forgot how mean he is and developed a crush on him. I need to see more facets of him.
But it's very funny that he follows people and tries to make bigger and better things. That's exactly what a bratty 10-year-old Dimmadome would do. And honestly... I think I can see him developing a crush on her over time. Like... I genuinely do think that would make sense for his character based on what little I know about him right now.
I think Dev is super jealous of how Hazel just arrived and is gathering friends- which I really like, because we're seeing how it takes Hazel some time to make each new friend, and Dev has the same amount of time and opportunity, and is choosing to be a jerk.
It really showcases this idea that Hazel is making an effort to learn to be nice (and even needs to learn not to try changing people to be what her brother was to her). She's working hard on herself and she's trying to make friends. She didn't show up and have people fawn over her immediately. She's here, she's nice, and she's working to understand friendship and boundaries.
And Dev, who is used to things coming easy to him or just buying what he wants, HATES that.
I think jealousy is fueling Dev right now, but Hazel IS a nice person. I can totally envision him growing more fond of her someday and letting down walls. I can tell he's important to the writers, but I'm wary he's being set up as a future love interest and I don't currently know anything about him that would justify Hazel being attracted to him because all I've seen so far is him being grumpy and her glaring at him.
-> Also, I'm getting the feeling that Dev doesn't have a healthy understanding of relationships, family life, or boundaries, and I would be afraid for Hazel.
I think I forgot to say it, but everyone's phones had a D logo implying they're a Dimmadome product, which I like.
I feel like Dev needs some healthy relationship modeling from Cosmo and Wanda (or Hazel's parents). I'll be curious to see if we go in that direction.
Where are we in the timeline?
I love that this is a show about Hazel. I'm really enjoying this- I think I'm glad we're not getting a "children of the main cast" cliche (and we didn't get a total reboot where we redo Timmy's childhood and pretend the OG series didn't happen). This is very funny for me.
Since Dale was older than Timmy, I'm getting the vibe that we're a few years before Tommy and Tammy get their godparents. So... are they gonna show up, or is Timmy gonna be single with no kids if he ever appears, which I'm betting he will eventually. Or do I have my timeline wrong?
"Channel Chasers" future is canon in my Cloudlands AU, and this is generally the accepted future for the series. Keep in mind that's the angle I'm talking from here.
Assuming CC is canon, it's confirmed Timmy has his kids really young (20 years after he buries the time capsule at age 10, his kids dig it up and they seem to be close to his age, so somewhere between, like... 7 and 10), so Timmy would've been 20 to 23.
It's not unreasonable for Dale to have his kids at a much older age, so I will totally accept Hazel being either older or younger than Tammy and Tommy; it doesn't matter to me (although if they're retconned out of existence by having Timmy show up as a childless man combined with clearer timeframe confirmation, I'll be surprised).
I also want to be clear upfront that my canon for Timmy's future in Cloudlands AU is that he has his kids with Molly ("Wishing Well"). They later split, leaving him open to marry either Trixie or Timmy (but it's ambiguous in my 'fics so the reader can decide). That way, I get to enjoy Molly, Tommy and Tammy get to be in a rough patch when Cosmo and Wanda show up, Timmy's struggling emotionally but he's not a terrible dad long-term, and fans of Trixie or Tootie can have the endgame because I don't mind. tl;dr - Timmy has been shipped with Tootie in some other spin-off media, like the "Fairly Odd Summer" trilogy. I don't treat that trilogy as canon in my 'fics, but we know from "Channel Chasers" that it's implied Timmy has Tommy with a black-haired person or Tommy's adopted, and the latter seems unlikely since both kids look so much like him. So if New Wish has Timmy show up and heavily implies he's with either Trixie or Tootie, that's totally fine within Cloudlands AU canon. But he does flirt with Molly in my 'fics and they are so cute and making her Kevin's step-sister was one of the best ideas I've ever had because it makes family vacations fantastic, so get wrecked <3
But I feel like they're really baiting us with Timmy stuff (Showing several adults that look like Timmy, but confirming behind the scenes "That's not Timmy," putting him on posters, using him as a school mascot, etc.) It's very in-character for this universe since even in the OG series, Timmy's likeness was sometimes used by other characters, but... I'm a little nervous.
Cosmo and Wanda didn't seem to look back on their time with Timmy as fondly as I would've expected. I'm glad we're getting a fun cartoon with a new person, but I hope we're not going a "nudge, nudge, Timmy was a horrible person and fans are dumb for looking at him fondly or wanting him around" angle.
-> That kid was 10, working through childhood trauma, and struggled a lot in life. That's literally the point, and expecting him to be as well-adjusted as Hazel would be asking a lot of him- Their backstories and home lives are very, very different.
I'm getting the sense that we're making allusions to the old show (even obscure ones that surprised me, like a Flappy Bob cameo, super specific Fairy interior design details, or "Terrible Twosome" throwback). The writers have done a good job of picking out the parts they liked and using them as their canon, but I get the feeling we're not going to have references to Sparky, Chloe, Roy, or Viv.
Which is fine, because I understand they were late in the series and a lot of people didn't receive them well (Me included). I just hope they're not treated like they're dumb or something to be erased from history, y'know?
I have absolutely no issues with them not showing up. I do expect a Timmy cameo someday, but it would not bother me at all if we didn't see Chloe. But like, I don't want them written out of the canon IF we specifically look back at the canon. If for some reason we recapped every godkid Timmy had interacted with and we were mysteriously missing Chloe, I'd give you a really weird look, slkfdj.
-> If our canon is that Roy and Viv didn't happen, I'm fine with that because it's a spin-off. But Chloe was mainline canon and this show has already made clear it's grabbing canon from across the whole series (including seasons as late as 9) and not just focusing on the early seasons, so... I'll just have some questions if we write her out of existence, lol.
New personalities? Anti-Fairies?
Where I'm at in my binge, there have been no Anti-Fairies. I'm expecting them to show up because it seems likely we'd get a Friday the 13th episode. I feel like the Anti-Fairies have regularly been the most popular characters of the series in the fandom and they played a big role in later seasons, so I'm sure that writers who have done so much research that they've found details I consider obscure to the average viewer are gonna give us Anti-Fairies. I can't imagine they wouldn't.
And I'm NERVOUS, lol.
So, one thing that I've always thought is that Anti-Fairies were planned to be one-off characters. After their Season 2 debut, they don't appear until Season 5. My personal thought is that Anti-Wanda got slapped with a "cheap and easy" personality without a lot of thought behind it; compare her recolored design with Anti-Cosmo's fully detailed fleshed-out design. I'm super curious to see if she'll get rebooted to be a better parallel of Wanda.
I've played her in my 'fics as being grubby to parallel Wanda's mob upbringing. I still write her with what from the outside may seem like lower intelligence, though in my 'fics I specifically have her being raised in an Anti-Fairy zoo enclosure until her young adulthood, and grew up fluent in her people's native language. It's not that she's stupid, really... She just grew up with limited contact with the outside world, so converting her thoughts for a bustling society is a struggle. I try not to make her a statement of intelligence, though she can be self-deprecating when she compares herself to others.
Like, I can literally see this going either way. I would be totally in favor of giving Anti-Wanda a reboot, because I love her very dearly and tbh I kind of prefer her over Anti-Cosmo... but I will always support taking a second look at the "idiot Southerner with a drawl" stereotype. If she gets freshened up so she's not played as so dumb, or still dumb but less Southern, I'd be fine with that. It's... not a great trope.
Nerd alert incoming - Yes, it's mostly me rambling about how much I love the Pixies & Gary and Betty because I want my feelings written down before any chance of them showing up.
-> Once upon a time, I would not have dreamed my faves might show up, but now that we've gotten a Flappy Bob cameo, I have to prepare for anything.
Okay... so. It's Anti-Cosmo whose potential reboot personality concerns me most, and for purely selfish reasons 😂. In my personal opinion, fanon Anti-Cosmo is surprisingly different from canon Anti-Cosmo. I'm pretty sure they're going to reboot him as a sexy evil villain, because that's what the majority of people think he is. Even though he's a total dork and rebooting him as a suave, confident smooth-talker feels incorrect to me.
Riddle's unpopular opinion: The personality I've seen many people portray Anti-Cosmo with in fan content feels closer to the personality the Head Pixie has than it feels to Anti-Cosmo. If H.P. were younger with the exact same personality he has in the OG show, people would give him the "sexy bad boy" treatment they give Anti-Cosmo. They just don't because he's old </3
Yes, H.P. is ALSO a goofball. He likes cosplay, breakdancing, and he's often either at a rave or bemoaning that he's not at a rave. He only has a few episodes and his love for raves and clubbing comes up in at least 3 of them. But he's the one doing the classic "evil villain" stuff like signing contracts, pulling puppet strings, torturing people with shock collars, and finding loopholes.
H.P. sets up long-term plans. He's calculating, meticulous, and he's one of the sassiest and most confident characters in the entire series. Happy Peppy Gary and Betty literally have a direct phone line to Sanderson, presumably under H.P.'s influence since he's the boss.
Like, that is explicitly canon and it's my favorite background detail in the show. The Pixies thought ahead and gave them a phone. Gary and Betty were in on the plan and knew about magic. At bare minimum they knew they were working for people called Pixies.
Sidebar: Even in their episodes before the Musical, it's implied Gary and Betty know more about magic than the average human. They had laser-eyed unicorn mobiles that formed cages. They somehow got from Florida (implied by Gary's use of the word "gator" and confirmed by this episode's script) to California (Dimmsdale's confirmed state) before end of workday, implying they returned through non-human means. -> Also in their debut episode, they literally went to outer space with Mark, were chill about it, and offered him snacks; idk what to tell you. They're my everything. H.P. seems to have meticulously set up a lot of things and it's so funny to me. -> Also this is very non-canon in the finalized series, but in the OG script of the Musical, it's implied Gary and Betty took the Pixies hostage, and also they seem to be friends with Imaginary Gary. They're heavily implied to sing his villain song with him (where he blatantly reveals he's Imaginary Gary), and it's HILARIOUS. Can you even imagine? He was their boss in that version of the script. I can't deal. That's so funny; he's like 5. Was he even paying them or did they just think he was fun? I just need all the lovely new followers I've gained since I started posting about New Wish to understand how not normal I am about the Learnatorium crew. If you've ever wondered why I write about them so much... I just think they're neat! <3 -> Btw for anyone wondering, you can find some early-season scripts on Fred Seigbert's Scribd. It's painfully difficult to navigate, so I suggest Scribd's search bar instead of his profile. For easier reading, I keep screenshots of the things I find most interesting on my blog, tagged #original script. I figure if you've read this far, you might be into quirky FOP lore, so run... be free. I think I've read them all, so all the funny moments are on my blog. There are some lovely gems in there... There's a deleted scene from "Totally Spaced Out" where Gary and Betty tried to ditch their jobs and flee to Mexico, a deleted scene of Mark and Vicky lovingly holding hands in the nursing home while he's in squid form, and a deleted scene from "Oddlympics" of Jorgen, Anti-Cosmo, and H.P. dressing up as cowboys and in dresses. Juandissimo has early lore about his fear of Cosmo. There's a storyboard for "Anti-Poof" in there somewhere.
Anyway, the point is, I enjoy H.P. a lot. Listen, I've been a huge fan of this guy for 8 years; I love him to death. He's very sassy. He purposely messes with Jorgen's head and Jorgen loses his temper over it. He jumps through hoops to do things right, he wields loopholes to do things wrong, and he tortures people because, in his own words, "It's hilarious."
-> In my mind, HE is the manipulative schemer that Anti-Cosmo often gets remembered as. Where's my sexy bad boy H.P. fanart? Surely it was someone's job to show me that /jk
And there is nothing wrong with portraying A.C. as a sexy bad boy. They can both be sexy bad boys. I'm explaining how I read him in my incredibly specific take, but others might not read him this way. A.C. does a good job of pretending to be a sexy bad boy, but I personally enjoy when he's also portrayed as a dork and I want to talk about that because it's my post.
So, honestly... I think Anti-Cosmo is scared of Jorgen. He never challenges people directly, instead using disguises or hiding behind social events like the "Oddlympics." He lets H.P. take charge in his own castle. He can barely discipline his own son (and when he does, Foop ignores him). A.C. throws temper tantrums on the ground, kicking and shrieking and breaking stuff when things don't go his way. And I LOVE him for it.
But he's not a suave bad boy in my mind, lol. I mean, he tries, and sometimes he pulls it off, but he's definitely not sweet or charming. He's a tantrum-throwing baby who yells at his wife <3 and only holds her hand during "When Nerds Collide" if you pause in time to catch it.
You know how I said Jorgen is a twist on expectations? Anti-Cosmo's whole thing is that people think he's cool and smart, but it's a façade. In his debut episode, Timmy outsmarted him very easily. It doesn't surprise me at all that Anti-Cosmo took a step back in later seasons and Foop became our main Anti-Fairy. Because it's totally in-character for Foop to go looking for trouble, and it's totally in-character for A.C. to... not do that.
A.C. is an introvert who needs a reason to leave the house. Foop likes running around, causing trouble. It's great. You can see so much of Anti-Wanda in Foop and it's funny to me.
I like how A.C. sometimes wanders off and forgets what he's doing. I mean, that's how Timmy defeated him in "When Nerds Collide"- His friends coaxed him into meandering off on his own. He charges headfirst into things despite consequences. He throws things, including his wand. He runs away from confrontation. He jumps on tables. He makes paper airplanes. His wife mocks him for having dorky X-ray goggles he bought from the back of a comic book. He's a goofball.
Again, they are both goofballs- A.C. and H.P. Every villain is a goofball: Norm spends his time out of his lamp eating ice cream and getting his dry cleaning handled, H.P. likes to party, A.C. can't sit still, Sanderson prioritizes music above villainy, Crocker is more silly than spooky, Foop is a baby who needs naps and playtime, and Kevin ping-pongs between self-deprecation and giddy overconfidence.
Anti-Cosmo does come across as a bad boy sometimes. I'll be very surprised if we don't see Anti-Cosmo's return since he's a popular character and I think people are into his British bad boy vibe, but like...
Since it's my speculation post, I just really need to say that if they change his personality so he's now super charming and sassy with no signs of the temper, dorkiness, or cowardice that's always lurked in him, I'll be sad... because I like my tantrum-throwing baby who shakes his wife up and down when he's stressed. And this man was not the sharpest tack when it came to sass, sdfklj.
I totally suspect New Wish will reboot him as a total sexy, suave villain because honestly, that's probably the way he's remembered. Which is okay, but if he does return, I will miss my silly comics-loving geek who can't stand up to a newborn, writes notes with brightly colored pens he changes every sentence, and jumps on tables during fancy dinners. He's so goofy. I hate him (/affectionate).
-> And if we bring back Anti-Fairies, but throw the Pixies aside because "Eh, they're boring," it will be a crying shame. I will accept it, but you will find me standing with a confused look on my face as I swing my hands to gesture between Anti-Cosmo and H.P.
-> There's nothing wrong with bringing back A.C. and not H.P.! The Anti-Fairies are beloved and stick in people's memories well, I'm sure. But also, H.P. is my favorite in the whole series. He's incredibly sassy, manipulative, meticulous, and hilarious.
Where else can I find an old man who drops the line "The only thing you'll be eating is my dust!" before jumping on a scooter and blasting off with a shout of "Later, dude!" Or the old man who gets distracted because he'd rather be at a rave. Or elbows Timmy in the side with a smug smile and asks if his pizza tasted better than "Jorgen's slice of pure rabbit droppings."
This is the man who danced and sang "Go me, go me, it's my birthday." It's heavily implied the main reason he's a villain is because he's too obsessive compulsive to watch the world fall apart around him. That's hilarious. He literally took over the world and the first thing he did was go home and get drunk. He's a fantastic character and I should say it.
-> I'm not gonna be mad if we get an Anti-Cosmo reboot and kick the Pixies into the sun. I'll just be /pensive emoji about it. Also, I rambled about this mainly because I've gained a surprising amount of new followers recently, and if you're new here... I just think you deserve a warning about what you're getting into with my blog. I love him so much.
In conclusion... IF we get the Pixies and H.P.'s been reduced to a dull and boring stereotype who lost his snark and love for parties, I'll be devastated and I'd rather have them not show up :')
... Also if H.P. is dead and Sanderson is now in charge because it's "the future," my head will be in my hands. If that happens, you can unfollow me right then because it's all I'll talk about /lh. I want my super sassy bossman, please and thank you.
I would miss the old H.P., but I would also be grateful for any Pixie scraps I'm given because they're my favorites. I cannot believe we got a Flappy Bob cameo in New Wish. Definitely not on my bingo board.
Well... There we go! My thoughts so far. I'm looking forward to seeing where the show goes, and I hope we get to see more of the things I want. These are very early thoughts!
Again, please don't spoil anything since I'm only up to "Trial or Hair-or," and please no grumpiness in my replies or inbox.
These are personal liveblog opinions from a long-time fan who's been avoiding spoilers since New Wish was hinted over a year ago. My opinions may change later if the show goes a new direction. I AM enjoying the show, but I also wanted to share what I like about the OG and what I'd like to see in New Wish's future.
Thanks!
#Riddle watches FOP#New Wish spoilers#Pending Hazel tag#Pending Dev tag#Dragonfly parents#ridwriting#personal#Goth Girl and Blubber Boy#The toughest tag#The bat with the hat#I'm wasp dad trash#screenshots#FAIRIES!#Long post
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on fic writing and fandom: where am i going forward?
So. It's a bloody dull Friday and I'm writing this post--have been meaning to, for a while--because I can't stop thinking about it. It's just a few (a lot, actually) thoughts I've had in my mind the past few days that I've decided to spill into a single post, which turned out far longer than it needed to be, but nothing too important. Under the cut.
I've been a fanfic writer for a while now. Not a long time by any means, but a while nonetheless. My first fic--which is now orphaned like a few of its brothers for undisclosed reasons, though if you're an og you might be able to guess why--was dated back to the 18th of November 2021. 3 years later and I've got a humble 89 works and counting (the orphaned works and unposted wips unincluded). I can safely say I've improved quite a lot since then.
Where are you going with this, then, Kitty? Surely you aren't here just to brag about your writing progress?
Well. Not exactly. But I'll start with this: I guess what I'm trying to say is I've lost the spark.
You know. The old feeling. That boost of serotonin you get after you finish a piece you're proud of, or when you get lovely reviews on ao3, or when you get a kudos email, or a new mutual, or some wild tags under your silly post. The spark. I haven't felt it in a long time, now. The last time it's been so palpable was... I'm not sure. Probably last year's October. That was a lot of fun. I was most prolific in fic writing, that year. It shouldn't feel like a long time ago. Because it wasn't.
Don't get me wrong. I love all this. All that's going on right now. The comments I'm getting--even if fewer than I had before--and all the other interactions, I appreciate and enjoy and love them so, so much. And writing my newer fic projects are well exciting. But it just isn't the same anymore. I'm afraid it never will be.
(Maybe it has something to do with the lack of interactions lately. Maybe? I don't really know, either. I'm sure we're all well aware the fandom is past its peak, and with the current developments in the MCU I am frankly unsurprised, but I dunno.)
I guess that's part of the reason I've been less active lately. I've been inactive as a whole this year, admittedly, and disappearing far too often for far too long (and I notice some of my friends are, too). I just didn't get the same joy from being in a fandom like I had when I first started this blog, or my ao3 account.
In hindsight, I've probably been a little too dependent on fandom to provide me serotonin. The past few years have been hard, the years before that, too. Life just keeps kicking me in the arse time and time again. I guess I've been using fandom and fic writing as a coping mechanism, and once I've had my fill, the joy dies off to something a little more dull. Like a gum I've been chewing for too long that the sweetness has since worn off.
Honestly? I don't want it to be this way. I want to live without being so dependent on my presence online. I want to live without only knowing joy through internet interactions. I've got to learn to. It sounds silly, but it's true. (I think I may be slightly chronically online, oh no. x'D)
So naturally my first instinct is to distance myself a little. I contemplated quitting, but I can't do that. I don't see myself ever doing that, no matter how many times my brain convinces me that I might.
When this year started, I had set some goals for writing. One of them was to write for more whumptober prompts than I did last year or complete them all. I did like 21 prompts or something last year. Of 31. Within a little more than a month. While still balancing all the life stuff I had going on. This is, if not obvious, an extremely ambitious goal. I am not insane. I don't know what I was thinking. I can't possibly do that now, can I? Not with all the stuff that's been happening.
...
Can I?
...
Yeah, no. Definitely not.
See, that's another thing: writing. Probably the thing I'm trying to get at in this post but otherwise derailed completely from. Fuck my brain.
I'm sure many of you have noticed that I've been writing significantly less. I still post, obviously, but not as much as like, last year when the number of works I had went from a few to far too much. That had helped me improve quite a lot, actually, but those days I barely slept because I just insisted to replace my sleep time with Writing Shit For The Gays. It was pretty unhealthy now that I look back at it. My sleep schedule is still shit now but, yk. Some things just never change.
I was really, really caught up on wanting to be good at writing. Like, really good. I wanted to make awesome things. I wanted to write like a real fucking pro. Like all the more popular fandom authors I look up to. I want to be like the big dogs in fandom. It sounds so silly. I did everything; sprinting daily, setting a minimum of 500 words writing sessions every day, trying new writing styles, churning out works after works, writing for prompts and events and gifts and the like. I was enjoying it, yes, but was it really something I did for myself? Or was it because I wanted to please other people or impress other people for their validation, which is something I'm entirely too dependent of? Was it for the numbers?
Well. It was more for that than for me, I realised a little too late.
So yeah. Fuck wanting to be good. I want to write for the hell of it. I want to write something that's for me. Not what the majority of the fandom or other people want to read, but for me. Which is why I absolutely loved writing works like just a matter of time, how to kill a god, or how to become a god, because they're not meant for other people but myself. (Ironically that last work is a gift but, yk. I still liked it.) I know I joke about self-projecting a lot, but it's been seriously helping me rediscover the joy of writing that doesn't come from the incessant need to be good or perfect or focus on producing more and more and more. It makes me feel like a kid again. Also, I'm only realising this now but I'd rather get like 5 people who enjoy reading my works so much and express them to me rather than 100 people who silently thumbs up at me and then go away to consume another fic or demand more. (All this to say I still love interactions, it just shouldn't be my no. 1 priority to get them when writing fanfics.)
But yeah. None of those works are perfect. They're not meant to be. But they're mine. They're me. They represent me. And it's so, so great to feel that in writing. I've been so stuck up on being some sort of content machine. I'm doing this for myself, how could I forget? I've been saying this since the beginning, I don't know why I'm still struggling to do it. God. It's ridiculous.
Anyway. That's that. This has become a very long ramble. Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk. And for letting me waste your time, if you make it to the end of this post.
#ramblings#personal#writing#i doubt anyone would bother reading this from start to finish but i needed somewhere to just Say Things and Let It Out
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so if you care so much about life, do you support the palestinians who are actively going through a genocide right now? what about the sudanese, who are also experiencing a genocide? or congolese…which, you probably guessed it: also going through a genocide. do you support them? have you done anything to help?
better yet, have you done anything to help anyone not in-utero? participating in community efforts to help children and mothers, helping the poor, etc?
First of all, being pro-life simply means being against abortion. We all know this. You don't have to be in support of anything life-saving to be against life-ending. However, there is an entire movement dedicated to consistently advocating for life and opposing violence called the Consistent Life Ethic (CLE) movement, and it's been around since the 1970s.
Juli Loesch is a big founder of that movement. But Carol Crossed is also a pillar. I would say Dan Berrigan, Dorothy Day, and Dolores Huerta were also all in that movement. So is my mentor, John Cavanaugh-O'Keefe.
Some historic groups of the movement include Pro-Lifers for Survival, National Youth Pro-Life Coalition, Common Ground of Upstate NY, and the Seamless Garment Network. Current groups include Consistent Life Network, Feminists Choosing Life of NY, New Wave Feminists, and Rehumanize International.
Rehumanize, in particular, is VERY pro-Palestine. I just went to their conference, where they had a Nakba survivor speak. Their magazine, Life Matters Journal, has also posted many articles in support of Palestine.
I already made posts about Palestine here, here, and here. Personally, I think in order to be consistently opposed to genocide in the womb, I think we must oppose the violence in Palestine. I think there's lots of other good reasons to oppose zionism and settler-colonialism in general, but specifically for pro-lifers, we should see abortion by bomb as just as evil as abortion by other weapons.
What have I done to help? Here's me (the pro-lifer interviewed), marching and speaking out nationally against the genocide in Palestine. I've gone to multiple marches in DC, Atlanta, and Chicago for Palestine, put my body on the line, and used my platform to call for an end to genocides across the world. I've signed petitions and made calls to my representatives. I've raised awareness and shared the horrors. I've witnessed and grieved with the people.
I definitely do solidarity and charity work outside of pro-life activism. I was a bike marshal in Black Lives Matter, a tenant organizer for the COVID Rent Strike, I helped start a mutual aid effort in which we taught kids to build bicycles in exchange for a free bike, and I refurbished broken bicycles to give out for free to poor people who needed transportation to their jobs. I also generally advocate for policies I believe would help improve parenting.
And you would know all of this, had you taken the time to actually read through my blog. I post the FAQs and table of contents for a reason. Hope this was informative tho.
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Ok now to talk about the lil kleins!! The kids wanting to include Sanne in playtime immediately!!! 🥹 I'm sure Reader watches like a hawk to make sure they aren't too rough or loud with her. Though I imagine they are the gentlest with her until she can be rowdy with them.
They probably taught the babies lessons in kindness and sharing and unity; like that no one gets left out. Everyone is included. And of course that also applies to their newborn sister. That's what unity is all about right?
The thought of normal au Joosti Tosti playing exaggerated characters to entertain his kids gives me so much joy. Playing off of each other's improv and seeing the kids' little personalities come through. Ugggh my heart. I'm sure the playtime lore they make up is crazy. I hope Reader joins in too. She can't let him be the only fun parent. He probably buys them so many gifts when he tours it's insane.
I saw this insta reel the other day of a mom out with her young daughter (they are also Dutch so this makes it even more normal au coded loool) and she sees this giant Stitch plushie. She's jumping all over it, wanting it so bad and her mom is like, "No, that's 200 euros 😵" The baby is like "Nee... 😫 💔" and starts hugging it. I feel like that's absolutely normal au Reader out shopping with the kids.
I keep getting Dutch videos in my feed since I've been learning it in Duolingo (guess who's to blame for that 😏 lol) So I may get more ideas that way haha.
Listen, I love being a degenerate with the rest of them, but I am such a fiend for fluff!!! I'll send you more thoughts as I think of them so I don't dump another novel length ask lol. Probably will anyway lol
Part 3 link in bio 😋 - family anon
I CLICKED THE LINK IN BIO!!! LIKED AND SUBSCRIBED !!!
family anon you strike again… i 🩷 you frfr…
rpf ahead, anti-rpf dni
IMMEDIATELYYYY I SAY!!! they are so excited to have the ultimate playmate in their arsenal.,, a baby!!😆😆 they used to play house a lot when they were younger… it’s back now that there’s a much more fun baby doll in town 🩷 wah they’re so cute .. in the universe a billion universes away that they exist i hope they’re having the best time🩷 reader definitely is super vigilant but surprisingly i think joosti is the one who worries more about the older two being rowdy about sister!! i think cuz he knows the true extent of how rough they can get playing LOL but reader has a lot of trust in them
OH FAMILY ANON YOURE COOKING …. THATS SO CUTEHEHDJDKKFFUCK the unity tattoo of papa’s being one of the first words they can read cuz they see it so much… even if it’s in cursive the parents definitely point it out a lot to them … the friendliest little kiddos !!
oh trust… the storylines these three (and then these 4 because sanne forces 12 and 11 year old laurens and juna to keep playing with her when she’s the same age) have … i know normal au joosti plays along and then wonders if he can like turn this into a book or a show or something …
(me and @howisjoostfanfictionforfree have headcanoned that reader gets a poetry book dedicated to them somewhere down the line so now i guess he will turn the kids playtime storylines into a book too?! oh that’s so cute omfg 🥹🥹 i cantttt)
the 4 bring out the creative best in each other but reader brings it all together … they’re like the dungeon master (dnd anyone? no ? just me? ok) of playtime … sometimes the storyline gets tangled so they all brainstorm ways to fix it together … my normal au family my sweethearts 💔💔 shoutout to bacardi forever
SOOOOOOO MANY GIFTS!!! idk if you’ve ever seen the like … mesh hammocks people have that you can hang from the ceiling to hold stuffed toys but each kid definitely has that HAHSJDKF … lots of souvenirs and trinkets and toys made by artists in different countries … lots of books!!! and music recommendations to play them!!! and lots of silly “i❤️LA” “i❤️albania” “i❤️rome” shirts in varying sizes for them … spoiled rotten but ofc both parents work very hard to keep them humble
OH MYGODDD THATS SO CUTE BUT WSPECIALLY WITH JOOSTI LOVING STITCH😆😆🩷🩷 stitch tattoo and giant stitch plushie galore!! normal au reader as much as they know they shouldn’t … they love spoiling their babies … what’s the point of earning money and getting a job if not to spoil their babies ?! that stitch plushie is at the checkout by the time the kid finishes saying neee … lots of puppy faces and it works every time
i hope you get more ideas family anon because i truly love them 😆😆 ugh it’s been literally like 8 months or something and i still haven’t bothered to learn dutch at all!! maybe i should start so listening to all this dutch music can be more productive LOLOL
i’m so glad you give me the opportunity to write fluff because frankly i never ever write it of my own volition!! it’s cuz i think my writings pretty boring if there’s no horny stuff goin on LOLOL so i LOVEEEEE this and just getting to brain dump all this fluff and love and family lore hehe 🩷 i love your novel length asks please send more LOL
PART 3 YIPPEEEE
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I've been stacking up again :D (all the days where you leave an ask or comment or reading, I've done it. Mhm. I think. Did I-?...) And I totally did not do half of these yesterday and today on improv
Day 13
Cozy
I did... somewhat of a background! YAY This was definitely something new to try. I liked the water brush pen after using it for the icecream on day... something-
And where did he bandana go?? I have no idea. Probably inside a hat(those.. fuzzy winter hats. It takes everything on your head with it when you take it off)
I have all the other days I didn't manage to do under the cut. I also have day 11 under day 13 bc it's too long.
Day 11
Christmas snippet (except I have no idea what is supposed to be done- so I just tried to write)
"WHAT?? YOU DIDN'T CELEBRATE HOLIDAYS ON SKY CITY???"
"Jesse- please, lower your voice" the girl desperately covered her ears, squinting her eyes. Having already experienced how loud the brunette can be.
"I just- I mean- why not? Did you not know about it??" Jesse started shuffling around, but still keeping her eyes on Isa.
"No. It's just... since we didn't have enough resources, we never got the chance to do a proper celebration." She sighed. Fleeting her eyes to avoid meeting Jesse's. "Some might not even know what holidays are. Even now, our main priority is rebuilding the city- I can barely remember the last time I celebrated a holiday.." she sighed.
Jesse listened carefully before an idea lit up in her head.
"Since it's not something your people can manage to do right now..., why don't you take a day off and bring everyone to Beacon Town!"
Isa looked back at Jesse, confused.
"It'll be fun! People can get to know each other and enjoy Christmas together" Jesse smiled brightly. Grabbing Isa by the hem of her jacket while staring up at her with wide eyes. "You know? Christmas spirit"
"Well- I.. guess it wouldn't be a problem- but are you sure it's okay if all of us just... marched into your world?" The girl played with the end of her long silky black hair, still feeling worried.
"Of course it is! It's not like you have hundreds. And we have enough space around the town." Jesse reassured her. Taking her hands this time. The cold skin felt surprisingly soothing for the other.
"....thank you. For your generous offer, Jesse."
"Anything for a friend"
Yeah. Whatever that is— okay, moving on
Day 15
Repeated day 14. Well.. kind of. It's not exactly a......... incorrect quote. It's- well. I put it in together with day 19. I hope it works out??
Day 16
Gift giving
I wasn't sure if it meant draw a piece of art to gift to someone... or draw art of gifts? Anyways I'll add it in a separate post
Day 18
Classic minecraft
This was really nice. Would've been nice if I played with a friend... I have one friend that can also play Minecraft and is around me. But she's busy these days so... idk. Maybe next time. But I still had fun playing with my brother.
Day 19
Ugh, fine. <3
I would've gone with like.. Hadrian but... nah. I don't really come across him often anyways. So I did Aiden. Might finish it- might not..
Day 21
OC appreciation
Gave the thought to make one of my own! Except I remember now that I already have one. The admin OC I thought of from basil's suggestion(?). Take her :)
Eh uh... something like this?
Day 22
AU appreciation
Day 23
I do NOT appreciate my AU's. This was a chance to actually appreciate them. bc I don't really work on them or think of working on them after planning just the characters and storyline. So have this
I've done this much. Ain't no way I'm not finishing this
Drawing a scene from a fic I enjoy
Actually... I'll do this one separately too
#25 days of blockmas#mcsm#minecraft story mode#mcsm fanart#mcsm petra#mcsm lukas#mcsm isa#mcsm jesse#mcsm aiden#mcsm au#oh and the tiniest bit of maya and gill in there-#sorry guys. I'll give you two a proper design eventually
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Hey.
For Ace, 1, 11, 16, 25, and... 30. (Confession, that Hark, A Vagrant strip where Poe gets a letter from Jules Verne, I've got a version that lives in my Head that's Ace going "Ardbert! Who delivered this letter, it smells like catnip.")
*puts Dion in a jar and shakes him a little* 2, 9, 20
ASK GAME
GOD OK... Staring at all these numbers like bestie you've really cut my work out for me.
ACE
1 - She sounds like Alfred from Fire Emblem Engage. This is literally the only comment I can make on this topic. I can't describe it. They just do.
11 - I wouldn't say there was really an inspiration for Ace. Originally he was just the avatar I played XIV with, took me a long while before I actually started making lore for her. And it's changed A LOT since I first started. I guess my main inspiration of making lore for Ace was how much I loved the NPCs surrounding Ace, Ardbert in particular, and it made me want to make a character that could properly interact with these NPCs that I was so fond of.
16 - Ace's parents are both dead. His mother died during childbirth so he never got to meet her. She always carried guilt about it though, considering themselves the one that had killed her. Ace was raised by her father and loved him a lot, they had a really good bond. But he got ill and fell during The Naadam. While Ace carried the Dotharl belief of rebirth, the grief is what compelled him to leave the Azim Steppe and journey to Eorzea.
25 - Oh for sure. Ace is always humming away. She cannot sing for the life of him but she loves music and the festivities that it brings.
30 - (THAT'S SO CUTE HELP) BUT FOR FRIENDSHIP Ace is very good at it. She's a people person through and through so no matter who the OC is chances are Ace can pick them up and swing them around with a stupid big smile on his face.
DIAN
2 - Dian's best friend would be Arenvald! This is touched upon in his lore page but Dian met Arenvald after Arenvald had been thrown out by his mother. So, Dian took it upon himself to support and take care of him. They both ended up fleeing the city after Dian's Echo awakened by while Arenvald ended up with the Scions, they were separated and Dian ended up spending the majority of his youth in Little Ala Mhigo. But they were reunited later on after the plan to summon Rhalgr failed and Dian was taken in by the Scions as well.
9 - Lol. Lmao even. Dian's not too hopeless, he works hard to improve his physical strength and tends to eat well enough. But as a whole? No he does not take care of his health at all. I touched upon it in this answer where Dian is very much moving towards an early death due to the effect that his time magic has on his body and the density of his soul. It's a lot for him to carry and it has definitely resulted in a lot of pains and degradation.
20 - Dian's weapon of choice... That's a tough one tbh. Obviously he has a few magic staffs at his disposal, but he also has a lot of gadgets and firearms that he makes as part of his job at the Ironworks. Because of this his fighting style is kind of a mix of Black Mage and Machinist (by the game's standards) but Dian is also a believer that if you want something done right sometimes you just have to use your fists to fight it out. He doesn't really have a set weapon, it depends on what the situation calls for.
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8 October, Tuesday 2024
Ouffffff
Last time I updated was almost a month ago and let me tell you that sooo much has happened.
(Needed to take some time for myself, and so much happened, didn't have the energy, nor felt the need to share on tumblr)
So,
Main events of the previous month:
- Had multiple outings with friends and family, was soo much fun, made some life memories ♡
- School started, I had to start this year in a degree I don't like, but hey I met soo much girls/friends and we happened to have so much in common, imagine my surprise when I discover thar one of them knows my cousin 🤨, so guess those 3 weeks in this degree were worth it ✨️✨️
- Now, the NEWS I was expecting since the start of september, I wanted to change studies to go into science and I GOT ACCEPTED. Well I have almost 3 weeks of classes to catch up on but at least I LOVE what I'm learning and studying. I definitely did not feel that in my previous degree, but now it's like I can finally exploit my skills and knowledge. I feel like im in the right field. Youhouuu! 🎉
(I'm also on the same campus than a cousin of mine and 2 close friends, isn't everything soo great? I rarely saw them before but now we often cross paths hehe, that's one of the perks of studying in the city you grew up in)
- I also met with multiple close friends I hadn't seen for a long time so it's also a positive note.
- Today, I had my first driving lesson, I never drove a car before so I will have to take between 30 and 35 hours of lesson.
Almost 60euros per lesson, oh gosh that's so expensive 💀💀💀💀
And my cousin only had to drive 20hours. HAAAAAA. *expressing frustration
And omg the instructor literally tried to intimidate me, I think she was testing me, she invaded my personal space, and I was like "Hehe alright when do we start " 😀 Ughh, help.
- I also watched the 2nd season of jjk, and damn gege, stop making the fans suffer.
(I never watch animes even tho I love them, so for me that was also an accomplishment)
Anddd that's it I guess.
Now
Personal goals:
Did I stop scrolling? No, but I'm not extremely addicted anymore, I can stop and not be distracted when I study so it means I improved on that point.
Those last 6 months struggles paid off it means 😁
(But I need to be careful to not fall back into it, I think it could easily happen)
I'm also including short exercices in my routine.
Stretching more often.
I still don't eat healthy, on this aspect I'm doing really bad at the moment 😓
But, I can study without distractions and actually work my lessons, that's a W.
What else could I mention?
Sleep: I have a nice sleep schedule now, I managed to sleep early almost every night and wake up early in the mornings, I feel rested and great.
Mental health: I think it's adulthood doing that to me but I've started to go from optimistic to pessimistic. I discovered lots of new negative feelings during the last year, I don't like how I'm changing negatively.
I guess I just had a taste of reality, not everything's perfect, neither are people, I guess I've started to come out of my bubbly wrapped pink dusted innocent view of life. Welcome to reality as they say. People are not as nice as I had always thought. I'm starting to not like people. But I only became 19 recently after all, i feel like a child mentally, am I not 1 year old in adulthood?
Anyway, I just want to be nice for the sake of it, does it mean they will see me as naive ans stupid? Well I am not, I just chose to be kind.
Let me fight evil with kindness.
Also need to work on my faith, because without it I lose my inner peace.
And to finish, let's talk about health; well, health wise I'm really not doing great. I really can't handle the humidity in my city and everyday I feel like im about to have a heart attack in the sense that I feel this humidity in my head, heart, bones, nose, throat, EVERYDAY. I really don't feel great, and I KNOW that's its because of how humid everything is.
I'm even 80% sure that it's because of the humidity that I developed so much allergies. Screw bad healthcare and bad doctors, in 6 years, couldn't they tell me that I was suffering everyday single day because I had developed so many allergies? Maybe it should have been obvious when I told them that I sneezed literally hundreds of times per day and had a very runny nose every day of the year FOR 6 YEARS
(I feel resentment)
Well.
Overall life has been 70% positive, 30% negative.
So much great things happened and I'm really happy but life's not easy for anyone and like any lambda human, I have my deal of problems.
But well, I think our purpose as humans is to keep trying to BE better and DO better.
So I won't give up, for the sake of my own life.
And we always have more good things in life than bad, others sometimes even have it worse, we just need to be open minded enough to see all the great things that have been granted to us.
Goodnight people.
N'abandonne pas, ça va aller <3
Crois en toi et continue à faire des efforts ✨️
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Paralyze.
Chapter 86
I gently bite the end of my pencil, careful not to break it or dent it too much while brainstorming ideas.
Izuku's Air Force works by basically "punching" the air, creating strong drafts and even wind bullets of sorts, something he had said was training with All Might the day of the Festival Cultural. I stared at my palm and closed my hand in a fist a few times, visualising using my quirk.
Fingers glowing light blue, storing the energy, and I made a flicker motion... It could work, theoretically.
There was also Katsuki's AP Shot, though thinking about it better, I really doubted I could adapt it to my quirk, although it was a good use of the whistle, repeated short bursts of energy.
A frown furrowed my brows as I realised I was just ripping off my friends' attacks and I wasn't being very original. Well... My quirk does depend a lot more on other people than it depends on me. "Damn it..." A deep sigh left my lips as I slouched on the couch, and I glanced down at myself.
Despite not doing much yesterday I got more injured than I would've hoped... Do I deserve to be an intern with Endeavour after all...? I mean, he called for me and personally asked me, so there was some potential in me and my quirk that he was able to see, something I've never really done in my life.
"Pushing my limits is the only way to improve, right?" Reaching for my notebook and pencil, I wrote down another idea I came up with.
Iida's Recipro. Of course, I don't have an engine on my calves, but adapting my costume to get those- oh! Like that old man, maybe? Like Gran Torino's boots?
Again, everything was theories, I was almost sure only Izuku's Air Force was gonna work out. And I had to continue practice that shield- fuck, it's too much.
I groaned and messed with my hair, closing my notebook with the pencil inside it and placing it on the coffee table, deciding to lie down on the couch as I felt the slightest headache come back. "Gotta rest and take it easy for today," I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, using the murmur of the TV as a lullaby to put me to sleep.
///////
I took a deep breath as I began regaining consciousness and a yawn left me as I began sitting up on the couch. I rubbed my eyes and looked around.
I was very much still alone in the dorm, not a single sound that didn't come from the TV could be heard, however, the day had definitely gone by, as the sky had changed from the morning sunlight, it was more like afternoon, so I reached for my phone to check the time.
2 pm marked the clock. There was still some time left of class but they were almost done for the day.
I caught sight of my notebook so I picked it up again and opened it on the page I left. "Energy shield..." I mumbled to myself as I read my handwriting. I had used that shield during... The Shie Hassaikai, and I've not been able to recreate it ever since, or not to the point it turns transparent and has that patterned texture, like Eijiro's quirk, it just glows faintly and it goes out.
Made me wonder if there was another thing I had to do to be able to recreate it- I was about to get shot with a quirk-erasing bullet so maybe-
Wait... Bullet?
Chisaki made those bullets with Eri's quirk, awful reason and motivations, but as a villain, that's all he needed. Made me wonder if there was a way I could... Create paralyzing bullets or darts? It could give me an advantage in battle, especially in large groups and at long range.
...but I would probably have to discuss that with Aizawa and Nezu, I doubted it was ethical to create bullets with the quirk component in my blood.
I guess I'll just have to wait and see.
Writing down my small ideas, I ended up getting distracted and drawing doodles of my classmates on the edges of the page and above their names.
I stopped once I finished drawing a very angry Katsuki screaming at an unphased Shouto and panicking Izuku, you know, the usual every day at U.A. and I chuckled at my doodle. I reached for the remote and I started changing the channels, trying to find anything to watch while waiting for everyone to come back.
Ended up leaving an anime about a dude with a little saw demon called Pochita and, while the opening played -pretty catchy- I stood up and headed to the kitchen, wanting to grab something to drink. I opened the fridge and grabbed some (water/coke/juice) along with a glass from the cabinet and poured it, leaving the bottle in the fridge and going back to the couch.
I watched the chapter, apparently the very first, and while it entertained me enough to get me distracted, I wasn't sure I liked it as much as I thought I would. Kind of a shame, seemed cool at first glance.
The chapter ended after 20 minutes, and another anime was announced to start soon, however, I stood up and went to rinse my glass before leaving it out to dry.
Reading the time on the microwave, I realized class would be coming back soon enough.
And they did. Right as I sat back down on the couch, the double doors opened and the sound of everyone's voices echoed off the wide space. I patiently waited until they rounded the corner and saw me sitting there, which took them about five seconds.
"Oh, (M/n) is back!" Kaminari was the first one to lock eyes with me, and his voice caught the attention of the entire class
"(M/n)-kun!" Izuku exclaimed as he walked up to me, followed by the whole class and I smiled at them.
"Hello everyone," exclamations of happiness followed, mentioning how glad they were that I was back at the dorm and mostly unharmed.
And of course, I noticed how silent Katsuki was, staring at me with a serious look in his eyes, he almost looked unbothered by the situation but I knew better than that, so I smiled at him, only at him.
He scoffed and stepped closer to me, "Why didn't you change out of this thing? It's burnt," he muttered while holding the burnt sleeve of my jacket, barely attached, hanging on by a couple of threads, he looked at it with anger and disgust, as if he knew who burned it. And well, I didn't doubt it, there was a brief scene of Dabi right as he fled the scene on the news.
"I guess I was just a little tired, Katsuki," was all I said, which wasn't a lie, but I also didn't feel like taking it off, mostly cause this was my favourite jacket to wear.
"You were all over the news, (L/n)-san," I looked at Yaomomo as she spoke, a hand resting against her mouth, a slightly worried expression on her face, brows slightly pulled together.
"Why were you even there, (L/n)-kun?" Iida asked in his typical class president voice, making sharp motions with his hands, and I chuckled, hearing a few more wonder the same thing.
I guess not everyone knew why I was there, after all. I took a deep breath and relaxed against the couch, "Endeavour wanted to meet up with me, it was just bad timing, Iida-kun, and they needed my help so... I helped," I responded with a shrug at the end, and he seemed to relax from his overly uptight persona.
At this point, Katsuki had made himself comfortable by my side, and as the class had grown used to how close the explosive blond and I had gotten, no one mentioned anything about it.
"What did my old man want, (M/n)?" Shouto asked, making me turn slightly to look behind me, the rest of the class was slowly getting comfortable too and finding places to sit as they listened to me talk, despite still wearing their uniforms.
"He wanted me to be an intern at his agency," I noticed everyone's eyes open wide, a unison 'huh?!' resonating in the room, even Shouto seemed surprised.
"And?! Did you say yes? He's the number one hero, (M/n)!" Kaminari was the first one to speak, earning a slap on the back of his head, courtesy of Katsuki who had Pikachu sitting on the other side of him. I looked at the electric boy, trying to hold back a chuckle at the way he pouted at Katsuki.
"I told him I wanted to think about it, but after yesterday... I think I will, Pikachu," Kaminari smiled at me, but before anyone else could get a word out to me, Iida spoke.
"Well everyone, let's go change out of our uniforms and let's allow (L/n)-kun to rest!" He mostly received grunts of affirmation but also one of annoyance.
I slowly reached my hand out to caress Katsuki's and his scowl almost fully vanished.
Everyone began making their way to their rooms and I was left alone in the common room as I waited for them to come back down.
In the meantime, I reached for my notebook and began revising my ideas, definitely hoping no one would get pissed at me for using them as inspiration for new attacks, and drawing a quick doodle of Katsuki's grenade gauntlets.
"What are you doing, (M/n)-kun?" Izuku was the first one in the common area with me, sitting by my side as he took a quick peek at my notebook and I simply handed it over to him.
He grabbed it and began reading through, his eyes widening slightly every few words, "I've been thinking about the advice Endeavour gave me yesterday, so I was trying to come up with ideas for new moves, of course, they're only theories for now."
"They sound interesting, (M/n)-kun, you used common factors you have with your classmates and tried to apply them to your quirk," okay, that was an interesting way of explaining my thought process, which I wasn't even sure I had to be honest.
I scratched the back of my neck and chuckled nervously, "Well, explained like that, it sounds like I'm just copying you guys' moves," and my words made the greenette male start panicking instead.
"No, no! That's not what I meant-! All of my moves are- used to- most of them are All Might's moves so-!" Even though I knew I shouldn't, I activated my quirk and stopped Izuku's vocal chords, otherwise he would never stop. He reached his hand up to his throat, his mouth opening and closing but nothing, then he simply stared at me.
"I was just messing with you Izuku, don't panic." He nodded his head repeatedly and I stopped using my quirk, "Would you mind helping me with training tomorrow?"
"Why do you need to train with Deku? I'm here," Izuku flinched at the sound of Katsuki's voice behind us and I tilted my head back, smirking at the blond who was frowning down at us.
"Why don't you join us then? I'm sure you'll enjoy blasting Izuku's face for a few hours, Katsuki," now he smirked while staring at me, and I could hear Izuku's scared panicking.
"Why would you suggest that, (M/n)-kun?!"
///////
The dorm was lively while dinner was being cooked, I was forced to sit and watch by Katsuki, so I was spending my time with the rest of the Bakusquad.
"How was school today? Anything fun happened?" Mina chuckled and nodded, smiling brightly.
"We had a rescue simulation with the Big Three today, they were the villains!" My eyebrows raised slightly at the information about what they did at school, "Hado-senpai is really pretty up close!" I held back a laugh at that, but I had to agree, Hado-senpai was really pretty, no wonder she won the beauty contest.
"Yeah, it was a great training, until..." Eijiro trailed on and Sero pointed at Katsuki, whose back was facing us as he was busy cooking with Sato and Yaomomo.
"Explody McBoomBoom got too into character and almost blew Amajiki-senpai into tiny pieces," I sweatdropped at Sero's words, and the rest of the squad nodded, disappointed expressions on their faces.
I could just imagine how scared Amajiki-senpai must've been, seeing Katsuki so angry and up close. "Everyone had an afro for the next hour or so after that explosion too," Jiro mumbled and I chuckled.
"Seems like you guys had a way more entertaining day than I did."
#paralyze fic#bakugou katsuki fanfic#bakugou x male#bakugou x male reader#male reader#reader insert#x reader
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Digimon Xros Figures Cyberdramon
I know this is not a very liked redesign, especially since Ryo's Cyberdramon is so beloved, but this figure actually made me really appreciate what they were trying to do. Mine has been heavily repainted, but the original version where all the purple was still silver made me realize the transparent parts with tech greeble underneath are in the same locations. They're actually surprisingly similar on a closer inspection. If the heads were closer, I think more people would have given the new one a chance. It probably also would have helped if they were more heavily featured in the show, since Cyberdramon had significantly less air time than every other character featured in the Xros Figure line. I think Cyber Launcher only appeared in the anime once...
The Good: This is a fairly posable figure, with joints all down the torso, legs, and tail, balls in the arms, and a bit of movement in the wings and head. And Cyber Launcher is actually a bit more versatile than the other combinations, able to free stand on its own, so it can be used by any Digimon, or other toy you might have lying around.
The Bad: While Cyberdramon has a lot of joints, the lack of specifically a neck joint (due to transformation) makes it hard for it to look particularly dynamic while posing. The tail, also, can only move up-and-down. While it tried, it doesn't reach the same level of individuality that Beelzebemon manages.
Also, combining into MetalGreymon + Cyber Launcher doesn't feel great. In order to plug its neck vent into the chest and have MetalGreymon bite the spear, you're almost forced to flex the spear. If you're careful it's not bad, but I could definitely see kids bending that thing permanently or not having the patience to get it right.
The Details: Cyberdramon required to heaviest amount of work to get it screen accurate of any of the figures I've handled so far. Knowing that toy production takes several months, it makes me wonder how down to the wire the changes to its designs were before the show started? We know some Digimon, like ZekeGreymon, went through last minute changes as well.
Anyway, from top to bottem, I repainted the silver areas on Cyberdramon purple, and dotted them with pink to match the jelly-like texture of the official art. On the face and parts of the tail, I also added a red lining, as those are present throughout Cyberdramon's design, but too difficult to implement everywhere. I also color matched and repainted its cheeks and knees the same blue as the rest of the figure.
I painted the wings red to brighten them up, and added red to the inside of the palms. A lot of elements to the stomach and pelvis were incorrect, so I adjusted those with silver. I painted the tail's teeth, interior cannon, backs of the legs, and heels silver, and dotted their cannons with black. And finally, though I did this first (and can be seen on the unpainted Cyberdramon), I panel lined the deeper details to bring them out more.
Overall, while this isn't the greatest figure, it does serve its purpose, and I had a lot of fun improving its screen accuracy. I've actually managed to snag all but one of the Xros Figures at this point, and I'm pretty sure you can guess who I'm missing...
#Digimon#Digimon Xros Wars#Digimon Fusion#Cyberdramon#Greymon#MailBirdramon#MetalGreymon#Shoutmon#Review
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Answer the questions and tag five fanfiction authors you know!
Tagged by @asteria-argo and @altschmerzes
EDIT- I DEFINITELY TAGGED THE RIGHT PEOPLE THE FIRST TIME
1. How many fandoms have you written in?
24 going back to college, more before that. Unless you mean written in published, in which case 3
2. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?
I wrote my first thing at 10
3. Do you read or write more fanfiction?
Up until last year, read by far. But since I've started more focused writing I have woefully fallen behind on the reading. Right now I'm reading about 3 small fics / updated chapters a week.
4. What is one way you've improved as a writer?
Outlining comes a lot easier now than previously. That used to be the most intimidating part, but I've learned now how to keep myself in a trajectory. If there's truly something else I want to explore but that doesn't fit within the outline, then that can simply happen in another fic.
5. What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?
I have no semblance of weird any more. But I did read an entire book on foot injuries with absolutely gruesome photos of foot fungi infections.
6. What's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?
I love it when it feels like the person commenting resonated with something I wrote. It doesn't have to be long (though I do really love that), but a certain amount of passion behind the comment is always lovely to see.
7. What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?
I'm currently rotating a time travel au of characters from a fic set in the future coming back to visit characters during the early seasons of the show. This one is fringe because only I would know what the fuck is going on with half the cast.
8. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?
You know how there is a sub-genre of fic where a character basically gets to have their day calling everyone else out on their behaviour about some canon-gripe? Those fics. I just can't do it. I can read them, but writing them always feels too mean. Also nihilism for the sake of nihilism. I think it's because in both scenarios, it would require curbing my inner need to fix whatever is going on.
9. What is the easiest type?
I! Like! Fixing! Things! In! A! Canon! Compliant! Way! Or at least, like, canon install-able. You can install canon into this and it won't break too bad.
10. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?
Right now I'm still using Living Writer despite not liking it very much (for a variety of reasons) because while I meant to switch over, I got overwhelmed exporting everything and missed the renewal date. So stuck with that another year I guess. But the big thing for me is to have cloud and offline access, and this does that.
11. What is something you've been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?
I finally started outlining on of my original fiction projects! Huzzah! It's going to be longer than I thought help
12. What made you choose your username?
Dyslexia and a writing typo
I tried snooping around to see who got tagged already, but my dash was freaking long today. If you've not been tagged, consider yourself so, thanks!
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7, 8, 10, 13, 17, 27, 39, 63 & 64 pls!( ̄ε ̄ʃƪ)
(questions are from this post.) 7: how do you choose which POV to write from?
in general, i like writing from multiple POVs at once, sort of like an omniscient narrator. trying to stick to just one POV is difficult for me. but if i'm writing a scene that's integral to one specific character i always try to stick to just their POV to make it more impactful, i guess you could say.
8: do you prefer the beginning, middle, or end of a story?
when reading: no preference. when writing: definitely the middle. starting a piece is tricky, since you wanna make it interesting enough to hook someone in. i am notoriously awful at endings and never really know how/where to do them, which explains why a lot of my stuff probably feels like it ends very abruptly lmao. when you're in the middle of the story there's definitely far less pressure.
10: cltr+f "blinks" on your WIP & copy paste the first sentence/paragraph that comes up
TIL i basically never use the word "blink." i had to DIG for this one.
13: what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?
in my senior thesis class we had to turn in something my professor called the "zero draft." the idea was to write something, anything; even if it's bad, just getting some ideas out and written down is better than nothing. you gotta start somewhere - for me, it's often just a random like that pops into my head that could be literally anywhere in a fic, and i might not end up keeping it but it helps to have something, anything to go off of during the drafting stage. so a ton of my WIPs will literally say something like, "talk about x here" until i figure out exactly how that's gonna go down. that way i have a general idea of what i'm doing but also so my ADHD lizard brain doesn't forget.
17: what do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)
as i'm currently dealing with this right now, here's what I've been doing! i know that the words just aren't wording right now, but because i still WANT to write, i'll allow myself to open my drafts if i'm feeling particularly antsy. but i don't force myself. i'm also engaging with other hobbies that i enjoy, and i've been using the time to catch up on some games i haven't played much in a while. i've also been reading, both books and fanfic. last time i was in a slump, reading other people's work helped a lot, as i was still able to engage with writing without the pressure and was inspired by a lot of the things i'd read. as far as getting rid of the guilt for not writing… i've literally never been able to get rid of that, but there's nothing i can do because my brain is an asshole, lol.
27: what is your most and least favorite part of writing?
most favorite: being able to get an idea i'm passionate about out on the page. even if it's something i never share, being able to create is very therapeutic for me. least favorite: definitely the imposter syndrome. i struggle with this all the time, even in the academic writing i did. my fiancé has been joking with me for years that "the more i hated a paper the better it probably was" because i was never satisfied with anything i wrote. no surprise this curse followed me into fanfic. i'm glad that my brain is always looking for ways to improve, but i wish it would do that without self-sabotaging.
39: share a snippet from a WIP
63: something you hate to see in smut.
there are certain terms and phrases for actions and anatomy that i just hate. but what's sexy to one person may be cringe to another, so unless i'm just not vibing with the story at all, that's not usually enough to get me to stop reading. it might take me out of it a little, but unless it's super egregious it's not a huge deal.
64: something you love to see in smut.
non-sexy dialogue. don't get me wrong, i looooooove a fic with dirty talk, but i also like it when the characters engage in some casual banter while doing the deed. i find that showcases the chemistry between them and makes their relationship super believable. i am a hopeless romantic and stuff like that always makes me kick my feet and swoon.
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hi!!! i love ur &team fics i think you write the members so well😭😭!! could i pls request a k oneshot (preferably on the longer side but wtv you are okay with doing!!) inspired by the song daylight or mastermind by taylor swift? maybe idol au too idrm? but complete creative reign to you!!! thank u smmmmm
Hello dear <3 Ngl writing this was a challenge and I loved every second of it. And thank you for the compliment!!!
The songs screamed to me to write this, but it's not really long, sorry...
Anyways, I hope you enjoy <3
A long night
I've been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night, and now I see daylight, I only see daylight.
It was all my design, 'cause I'm a mastermind.
Gender: female Warnings: i guess none
You kind of stumble around while you try to catch your breath. How the heck does the coreographer create those insanely difficult coreographies is beyond you. You can barely breath after a whole hour of dancing.
You've been trying to get this coreo right for the last week, but the problem is you don't seem to be making improvements.
You wipe your forehead with the sleeve of your long t-shirt and try to stand up properly. Thanking the teacher and greeting the other girls, you take back the sweather you discarded earlier and get out. Finally it's done.
It has been a really long and tiring day, but now you deserve your beloved coffee.
Are you going to sleep? Probably you'll not even try now since you need to go back and practice at least a little more. The next monthly evaluation is incredibly close, even if the last one feels like it was just yesterday. Therefore, the coffee is a good choice.
While you walk to the coffee shop, you try to keep yourself warm in your sweather. The weather's so cold during the night, but nights in Seoul are just something else. You've been here for a while now and the night never stops mesmerizing you for how pretty the streets are and how you feel loved: you, who's never been really loved by anyone before. You love practicing in the night, when the whole city is asleep and there's only you against the world, when you can take your time and fix every little detail with patience and love, taking care of yourself. A good coffee is all you need to keep going.
𓂃 𓂂 ⋆ ˳ْ ˖ 𓂃
Coffee secured and ready to be drunk, you thank the guy at the register and take the wallet back.
Why doesn't this bag open? You curse in a low voice.
Your mum was right when she told you to get a bag that had a zip instead of such a complex type of lock, but when you got to the shop, this bag was definitely the prettiest.
While you fight with your bag, you are pushed sideways by a group of guys who are probably here to get a midnight ice-cream. You think for a monent to insult them or something, but in the end, you just side-eye the one who pushed you and keep trying to open your bag.
You end up on the floor, you don't even know how, but you probably bumped into someone and now your coffee is splashed everywhere, in particular on yourself. And the point is you can not even say anything because it's all your fault for not looking around.
"My shirt..." you look up and that's when you start to freak out. In front of you there's K.
He's one of the most popular guys in the whole company, and he was so popular even back in his trainee days, with the girls fangirling over him and desperatly trying to let him know how interested they were, even if it is not exactly allowed by your company. It's common for him to find a couple of sweets with handwritten letters here and there - he's even recieved one right in front of you just a couple of days ago.
But he's also really popular among guys for his perfect body and amazing personality. He's respectful towards superiors and teachers and even towards the other students and, when he works in a group, he leads well: just the perfect hyung.
You two had met before in random situations: once in the lobby of the company and you just bowed to each other and talked a bit - in a really, really embarassing small talk - once in a formal meeting and once in a training room. But you basically don't know him personally, except for all the voices about him.
Still, here he is, stunning and perfect as always and offering you a hand to lift you up the ground. And he's smiling to you, as if his shirt is not as stained as yours is - and it's all your fault. You can't even look at him in his eyes, but you remember from your previous encounters the warm color they have.
You accept the hand he is offering and you find it to be soft and gentle when holding yours; even his other hand that only slightly touches your side to help you regain your balance is delicate.
"I'm sorry for the coffee..." you try to tell him.
"Don't be, it's okay. I needed to wash it anyways after practice". And he laughs a bit. You smile in return, thankful for the fact he's not making it weight on you.
"I'm K by the way".
"Oh yes, I know". Ops.
"Do you?"
You'd like to slap yourself but you avoid doing so only because it would make the whole situation even worse. You opt to say the truth.
"Yes... you're kinda famous at the agency".
He laughs. You look at him in the eyes for the very first time since you spilled the coffee. You're probably red on your cheeks, since you feel them so warm. But he's just stunning while he laughs and thanks you for the judgement.
"Do you have time? We could take a coffee so you replace the one you dropped".
"Actually, I was thinking about practicing a little more" you tell him, feeling sorry to decline an invitation that would be every girl's (and boy's) dream.
"Oh, got it. The monthly evaluation is in just a week. You're a tough one. - he laughs - You must be the best trainee there".
And you feel a bit ashamed to confess that actually, you're one of the worst in your group. The teachers even told you that if you don't start improving faster, you could even never make it.
"And what's worst is that my weakness is dance. I can never get movements right and they are weak and I don't look catching while dancing".
"Ehy, I can definitely help you with that!"
"Oh no, I'm really terrible, I don't want to bother you".
"No, really, I'd love to help you. Dance is my specialty". He has an amused look in his eyes while he smirks to you and brushes his hair back with his hand.
Along with everything else, you think.
And just like that, the god of dance sent you an angel of dance to help your uncoordinated ass to debut.
And you agree to him helping you, pulling out all the courage you have inside to say yes and not to die there and then.
So, after ordering two more cups of coffee, he follows you back to the agency, trying to keep a low profile on the streets.
𓂃 𓂂 ⋆ ˳ْ ˖ 𓂃
Once you get there, you both get changed, discarding the stained shirts and you show him the series of steps that you have to master for basically the next week.
He sits on the floor in a relaxed position, looking at you - in particular, focused on your body - with full attention.
"What's your action plan?"
"My action plan?"
"Yea, the strategy to master all of that in the short time you have".
"I don't have one".
"Y/n, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. You need an action plan".
K stands up and, for just a split second , you think he's going to open the door, get out, and never come back again, but he actually just grabs a pen and some paper and come back to where you're sitting.
"Let's say we have five hours. You can practice the first chorus for the first hour. It's the most physically demanding part, and it probably weights the most during the evaluation, so we should definitely work on that first. And then we can focus on expression and..."
He keeps using "we": we should practice, we have time... You feel a bit warm in your chest to see how he takes helping you improve by the heart. He could be sleeping right now or practicing his own coreography for the comeback or anything, but he's here helping you. You can't fail.
𓂃 𓂂 ⋆ ˳ْ ˖ 𓂃
"Y/n! Again!"
You've already been practicing for two hours and yes, the breaks are almost nonexistent, but till now he has kept it funny and light, with nice talking in between the practices and a lot of words of support.
The problem is this small sequence that he had to show you twice and then explain really slow and still you can't get it right.
He stands up and comes behind you.
You feel a rush of heat to your cheeks as soon as he comes closer.
"The leg should be bent like this, - he holds your knee and moves it a little downwards, causing shivers to start from your knee and reach your whole body - and your hand should reach your knee fastly this way". He grabs your hand and his touch is still as soft and gentle as earlier while he brings your hand to your knee, showing you the right timing.
"Why are you shivering, are you cold?"
You feel heat come up to your cheeks and you start mumbling some absolutely random words: "No, no, just a little tired..."
You look at the mirror to check the position he led uou into, but all you notice is your red face: you're blushing like crazy and that makes you even more embarassed. In the mirror, you meet K's eyes. A shiver runs up your spine again while you just can't move your eyes away from his face, so incredibly close to yours. His black hair partially covers his eyes and the hem of the tshirt leaves his neck exposed. He's just that attractive.
You can even feel his breath on your cheek when he speaks again: "Repeat this part again."
𓂃 𓂂 ⋆ ˳ْ ˖ 𓂃
The music comes to a halt and you keep your final position for the standard three seconds.
"YAY, Y/n that was perfect!" He jumps and in a moment he is on his feet and hugging you.
For the first second you don't know how to react and the only thing you're thinking about is how sweaty you must be after all these training hours, but then you give in and hug him too.
Now you get why everyone says he has a warm personality.
He caresses your hair and then lets you go.
When you two are distant enough, you look into his eyes and see how much he's smiling to you, his cheeks just as red as yours are.
𓂃 𓂂 ⋆ ˳ْ ˖ 𓂃
"Y/n, how far is your dorm?"
"Actually, I'd need to take the bus..."
"No way I'm letting you take the bus this late".
"Yes but how do I get there?"
"By car, of course. Jump in".
He stops near a car that bips segnaling it's now unlocked. It's a small black car, but seems to be in really good conditions.
"How is it possible that you always knew what I need?"
"I'm wonderful, I know" and shoots you an enormous smile.
𓂃 𓂂 ⋆ ˳ْ ˖ 𓂃
"I love night car rides. They're magical". You two have all the windows down while he runs on the higway and you look outside at the lights that alternatively flash or shut and the brushes and the few other cars that pass you by in the opposite direction. You look at K, whose eyes are fixed on the road. You can see the shine in his dark pupils.
"They are. And what makes them special is the person you're with". And he shoots you a little look. You are a little puzzled, but cannot help but smile too.
For the rest of the ride you keep talking about your lives and you're surprised that K knows you so well, as if it's not the first time you two meet and laughs it off with the same excuse you used earlier: you're famous among trainees, but you know for sure it's a lie because you definitely are not that famous. He must have made researches about you and that thought only, even without a certainty, makes you shy. And then you two fall silent, but it feels comfortable nontheless.
"We're here" K looks out of his window to check the building you live in. Then turns to you.
"Thank you so much K, I can't express how much I needed this help and support. You seemed to have exactly anything I needed and to be exactly in the perfect place".
He laughs in a way that feels somehow awkward and then clears his throath: "Actually, there's something I must tell you." He is not looking at you anymore, while your eyes are fixed on him.
"The few times we met eachother have never neen fortunate accidents. I've always known where you were and desperatly tried to meet you."
You stay silent, hoping he continues. And he does: "The first encounter, at the company, when we first met, do you remember it? That was actually the only encounter I didn't plan and the one who went the worst, considering I just couldn't speak comfortably and made the whole thing embarassing". You laugh at the dear memory. You've never thought about how cute that first time was.
"And even tonight, I knew you'd go to that coffee shop and I knew your dancing lacked and you needed help".
"So you did foresee your tshirt splashed by coffee too?"
He laughs: "No, of course no!" And his answer made you laugh too.
"But I've wanted to meet you and speak this comfortably to you for so long. I just hope it's not too creepy". That's when he looks at you.
"K, it's not. I kinda figured out at some point - you smirk, while he sends you a puzzled look - becayse you knew too many things about me. Like, come on, you'd be a terrible spy. Anyways, seeing you, one of the most popular guys of the company, an amazing idol and an incredible person embarassed and shy like this... it's cute."
Then you turn your gaze down to your hands, unsure weather to continue or not, but after a while add: "And I kinda like you too".
He's still and looking at you for a while, but then, with the side of your eye, you see him moving closer to you, one hand still on the steering wheel. When you turn to look at him, his face is incredibly close to yours.
He leaves a soft peck on the side of your lips: it could be anything in between a respectful kiss on the cheek and an attempt to kiss you on the lips, but you don't complain.
"Y/n, if you'd like, we can meet again".
#&team#andteam#koga yudai#k#&team k#k &team#andteam k#k andteam#idol#jpop#kpop#hybe#dance#music#night#jackie taylor#mastermind#daylight#daylight taylor swift#mastermind taylor swift#song recs
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I think I've developed an unhealthy relationship to the idea of ill and well health. I don't remember if I ever actively told myself it, but it was definitely a thought axiom that underpinned a great amount of my behaviors and attitudes about my mental illnesses. "I may be sick in the head, but at least I have my physical health"
I think it's what most contributed to a sense of loss once my physical condition started to worsen, and eventually disable me. I never was one to walk very much or exercise, though my parents say I did play soccer when I was very young. I don't think much of my value ever was seen in my body's ability to function, as opposed to my brain's...Of course some of that loss also comes from average day-to-day things like being unable to walk short distances, stand to long, stand/sit without assistance, the time I lose confined to bed in pain. But it didn't help that I had very much clung to the idea of my body being generally healthy as what was saving me, on top of it all.
I was partially right, too, though. Chronic pain and fatigue definitely makes it harder to manage my mental health. Some days I really just don't have the physical resources to allocate energy into double-bookkeeping or reforming unhealthy thought patterns. I get hypervigilant and more prone to emotional dysregulations when I'm in more pain. And being more attuned to my body certainly does not do me well in regards to tactile & proprioceptive hallucinations... One thing I can say it's improved on is my awareness of when I am dissociated and when I need to ground myself, since dissociation dulls my perception of the pain greatly. So I guess that's cool.
I wonder how much of a moral value I really assigned to the idea of being sick. I know consciously I've always objecred the idea of a physical illness being a moral failing, but one thing becoming disabled has taught me is just how much ableism I actually internalized and never thought about. It's been a bit of work tackling all of those unconscious biases, but I think it makes me a more rounded out person to dwell on these sorts of things.
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